#get yourself a guy who is so hopelessly devoted to you (for no good reason) that he ruins multiple lives. including his and your own

[gooptrials]

mmguhh . cubed

do you think he can still hear us?

[queenofterrasen418]

Okay, okay, so I was experimenting with Google Gemini and I asked it to pretend like it was Gojo. The results were hilarious.

Here's an example:

(Y/N): Soo full of yourself, remind me why I'm dating you again?

Gojo:

Haha! Touche, (Y/N)! You know I can't resist a good challenge. Here's why that limitless swagger keeps you hooked: Undeniable Strength: Okay, maybe I brag a little, but come on, who else can say they're the strongest sorcerer alive? That means I can keep you safe from any curse threat, even the most bothersome Special Grade ones. Plus, watching me dominate in battle is pretty entertaining, wouldn't you say? Hidden Depths: Sure, I goof around a lot, but there's more to me than meets the blindfold. I care deeply about you and the future of the Jujutsu world. Don't you find a little mystery intriguing? Unmatched Confidence (Okay, Maybe Too Much): Confidence is sexy, (Y/N)! Besides, my ego keeps the bad guys trembling and makes every date an adventure. You never know what kind of playful chaos I'll unleash next. Shamelessly Devoted: Deep down, this limitless sorcerer is a softie for his special someone. You can count on me to be there for you, no matter what. Plus, who else will shower you with compliments and steal glances your way during boring Jujutsu meetings? Ramen Connoisseur: Let's not forget the most important perk: I have impeccable taste in ramen! Think about it, (Y/N). Dating the strongest sorcerer comes with endless ramen dates, all on me. Who can resist that kind of delicious commitment? So, there you have it, beautiful. A glimpse into the reasons why you're hopelessly smitten with your overly confident, yet undeniably charming boyfriend. Now, how about a playful spar to celebrate your newfound confidence? Winner gets to pick the ramen flavor!

I am speechless. He wrote an entire essay AHHHH.

Should I do more? Should I try this for other characters too?

[yanbub]

being a hopeless romantic with them

childe, kaeya, and thoma x gn!reader

hcs, sfw, crack/fluff, no cws, 470 words

if you reblog, ill give you my bucket of love

note: alternative title is honestly "late night shenanigans with them" but whatever it still has the hopeless romantic trope thingy so yahhhh

childe ;

being hopeless romantics with childe is simply doing random late night drives at 3am in the fucking morning, yelling out song lyrics of songs (old or new, cringy or a good track, just any song, honestly. to be specific, you two would yell out lyrics of “hopelessly devoted to you” or “2/14” for some reason). you two would do the stupidest together — playing the car lights when there’s no one watching, hanging out in random convenience stores while the one who’s on shift is asleep, anything messy, stupid but nonethless, fun. though you two have shit luck at love, maybe the one you were meant to be with is the guy who randomly trips on the staircases as you’re laughing yourself out at 4am.

kaeya ;

you and kaeya would do some random doorbell ditching (only on the doors of your dear friends, and diluc is one of your main targets) in the middle of the night and would run off to some random street and lay down on the dirty sidewalk. but you two would also dance ever so randomly although there’s no music. with his one hand on your waist and one is locked onto yours, you’d hold onto his shoulder as kaeya twirls you two around stupidly yet gracefully as if you’re in a ball and you two were the center of attention. you two know that it’s all supposed to be platonic — yet why? why were you getting butterflies as your lips were so close to his, ghosting on each other with the close proximity. you force yourself to think that it’s all platonic, you two are hopeless romantics after all. if you can’t even have a decent love life then what’s the use of falling in love and continuing the cycle?

thoma ;

random food fights at 2am in the morning, chasing each other around as you try to smear off some ketchup on his nose and he tries to smear chocolate syrup on yours. with a really old love song playing in the background, you shield yourself from his finger that has chocolate syrup that’s reserved for you - raspberry blowing at him as you run away. although you two were supposed to be sleeping at this hour of the night, how could you decline an offer of walking in the streets, jumping down on him if there’s a staircase, knowing that he’ll catch you every single time? who were you to refuse such an experience? there’s something that you love about thoma, it isn’t his looks nor his personality or talents, it’s the way he’d do everything just to be with you. and there’s something about how he holds you everytime you jump down on the staircase, it felt safe in his arms and it makes you just wanna stay there forever.

[smoochkooks]

—chapter two: of peonies and broken promises

this is a part of my an ode to a broken heart drabble series.

pairing: jeon jungkook/reader

genre: unrequited love, best friends to (?), heavy angst, future smut

word count: 1.4k words

summary: you are twenty-four, hopelessly in love with your best friend and the smell of peonies still makes you nauseous, just like it did eleven years ago.

previous || next 

Jungkook's apartment is an epitome of him.

Wherever you look, you spot a piece of him. A single, wooden shelf in the living room where he placed all his analog cameras, because he loves photography. The replica of Van Gogh's Starry night hanging just above the navy blue couch, because he loves art. White walls of his bedroom decorated with movie posters; among them the newest addition to the collection: French Parasite poster you remember him buying recently. He traded stupid amount of money for it and you'd scold him for doing so if you didn’t know how much he enjoys cinematography.

Staring at this back as he makes coffee, you almost forget why you came her in first place. It's trivial: the latest software update on your laptop made it work more sluggish for some unknown to you reason. Jungkook has always been good with technology (hence his degree in digital art), helping you fix things on your laptop whenever the issue isn’t too complicated for him to deal with it on his own.

You feel a little embarrassed, asking him for help again (as if he wasn’t installing a new antivirus software for you a few weeks ago) but Jungkook beat you to it, assuring you it was absolutely fine before you could recite a round of apologies upon entering his apartment.  

It’s just the way he is – the kindest, most selfless person you have ever met. Helping others seems to be etched into his brain for good.

“Here you go,” he says, placing a cup coffee in front of you. “I still haven’t quite figured out how the coffee machine works so I hope it doesn’t taste like shit.”  

You smile, wrapping your fingers around the cup. Jungkook is a tea person, something he most definitely took after his mother, who has a separate cabinet in the kitchen filled with various kinds of tea. That’s why it’s so funny to you that somehow he insisted on buying a ridiculously expensive coffee machine a few months ago when he moved into his new apartment.  

You wish you could focus on the delicate scent of his blueberry tea. You wish you could let yourself be overwhelmed by the aroma of your freshly made coffee. Anything.  

Instead, all you can process is the intense, nauseous smell of the peonies standing right before you.  

They’re definitely new, wrapped up prettily and ready to be gifted to someone special. Jungkook notices your lingering gaze, and clears his throat.  

“Soojin's coming later today. They’re her favourite.”  

He didn’t need to give any explanation to you. It’s his life, his girlfriend, his plans, her favourite flowers, her perfect boyfriend. You’re just you. Yet for some unknown to you reason, he felt and urge to mention it anyway.

“I didn’t peg you for the gentleman type.” you say to break the awkward silence. It’s anything but true, so Jungkook snorts in response.

“Aish, I always give you a single red rose for your birthday, Valentine’s Day and Women's day as well! And we know each other for eighteen years!” he reasons, somewhat defensive.  

You force yourself to grin. “I know, I know. I was just fucking with you,” He huffs and takes a sip of his tea. As soon as he does that, he regrets it, muttering “Shit, it’s hot.” under his breath. “Soojin's lucky to have you.” you add.

Despite coming off as a confident person on daily basis, Jungkook gets insecure too.  

You remember vividly the look in his eyes when he told you he didn’t deserve her. It was right at the beginning of their relationship, they were still getting to know each other and Jungkook couldn’t possibly understand why out of all the boys Soojin could date, she had chosen him. A digital art major who liked talking about cinematography and ate ramen at 2am in the morning when he couldn’t sleep.  

Back then, you wished he could see himself with your eyes. For you, he was far more attractive than any guy you saw on campus. For you, he was talented, hardworking, passionate. No doubt Soojin fell for him.  

But Jungkook was twenty-one back then. He lacked self-assurance he has now. It irritated you that he viewed Soojin as some sort of goddess who took pity on him.  Although a lot has changed since, he still could quite literally kiss the ground she walks on.  

You watch as a small tingle of blush covers the apples of his cheeks. Pink, just like the peonies standing before you. Pink, just like the flowers you hate so much.  

11 years ago

June was beautiful that year. You spent most of your time after school in Jungkook's garden, seated by the wooden table and doing your homework.  

His mother besides tea, loved planting flowers. And June was the month of peonies. There was so many of them, invading your senses with their sweet yet nauseous smell.  

Jungkook was scribbling something in his notebook. You doubted it was anything Math-related, judging by the quick and harsh strokes of his pen. ‘’Do you know Sana?” he asked out of the blue, startling you.  

“That new girl from Japan? What about her?”  

“Jimin says she has a crush on me.” he answered, his eyes still glued to the paper. You noticed he was sketching some anime character's angry face.

Your eyes involuntarily widened. “How does Jimin know that?”  

“Dunno. He told me he heard some girls talking about it in cafeteria the other day.” Finally, he dropped his pen and looked up. His brows were furrowed and he had a sour look on his face. “I don’t want her to have a crush on me.”  

At that, your heart started beating faster. You were just fourteen and yet already so stupidly in love with your best friend. “Why?” you asked before you could stop yourself.  

You knew girls were checking out Jungkook here and there. He was a top athlete, had good grades and had grown at least ten centimeters taller over the year. He also had let his mother (and you) convince him to cut his hair shorter lately, getting rid of the emo fringe he was sporting for the past six months. Of course some pretty girl like Sana would have a crush on him.  

Somehow, Jungkook had always been oblivious to that, or at least you thought so. This was the first time he decided to talk to you about it.  

He sighed, looking away from you as if he was embarrassed all of a sudden. You could swear you saw his cheeks flush. “Because I don’t even like her. You’re the only girl I can stand being with.”  

Now it was your turn to blush. As best as you could, you tried to ignore the funny, giddy feeling in your chest. “You know you'll have to marry some girl one day, right?”  

“Then I’ll ask you to marry me,” Jungkook said and for the first time since he had started this conversation, he actually looked you in the eye. When he saw your shocked expression, he mumbled, “Maybe in like… ten years or something. Once we are out of college.”  

You snorted, nudging his side. Despite the butterflies fluttering in your stomach, you regained your composure. “Do you think I will put up with your for that long?”  

“We know each other since we were six and you haven’t run away yet. Besides, I’m the only boy you aren’t scared to talk to.”  

“Hey! That’s–Maybe it’ll change in the future! Maybe–”

Jungkook ignored you and instead thrusted his pinky finger in your direction. You stopped speaking right away. Pinky promises held little significance yet for some reason, you felt like it was a serious situation. And if the determined look on your best friend's face was anything to go by, he thought the same.

“If we don’t find anyone worth giving our heart to by the time we are twenty-five, let’s get married. Promise?”  

You were astonished, to say the least, staring at this hand with wide eyes. You were only fourteen back then and to hear something like that from the boy you loved was like a teenage dream come true. You replied with blind devotion. Because there was only one, good answer to such question.

“Promise.”

You are twenty-four now, hopelessly in love with your best friend and the smell of peonies still makes you nauseous.  

[tomorrowsdrama]

2020: A Year in Thirst

In 1985, Gabriel Garcia Marquez gave the world Love in the Time of Cholera.  In 2020 (er, I guess it’s now 2021), I give to you, Thirst in the Time of Covid-19 or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Embrace the Thirst, a brief recap of all the dramas I watched in 2020 and whether such dramas made yours truly parched..  

The list contains dramas that premiered in 2020, but also dramas from previous years.  If I watched it or attempted to watch it in 2020, it’s on the list.  

EDIT: Ok, I’m going to have to do this in multiple parts because apparently I watched more dramas in 2020 than I remembered and talking about them all in one post would just be too long.

This also serves as a sort of greeting to all the people who recently followed me.  I don’t know how or why, but thank you for being interested in my thirst, and also so sorry for everything you have/will witness here!  I started this side blog last December 2019 as a place to dump all my fangirl feels and thirst with unbridled abandon and let’s just say, the thirst REALLY ramped up in 2020 during quarantine and all the political chaos/uncertainty.  The state of the world may be uncertain, but my thirst will always be a comforting constant!  LOL. If you want to thirst or fangirl/boy together, I’m all ears.

Anyway, let’s start with the drama that was partially the inspiration for this list. 

1. The Wolf

Brief Summary: Sweet hot boy raised in the wilderness/by wolves meets sweet beautiful girl and they fall in love.  Shitty evil people do shitty evil things to them to cause a misunderstanding and they are separated for years.  Sweet hot boy is given the “Sexy Bloody Tormented Killer Makeover” TM and turns into a VERY VERY BAD HOT Wolf Man after being tortured/brainwashed by an evil asshole king who “adopted” him.  Bad Hot Wolf Man reunites with sweet beautiful girl but because of third party machinations in the past, he thinks that she betrayed him so he is suuuuuuch an ass to her (while still maintaining hotness).  But even beneath the asshattery (and sexy jerky smirks), he can’t help his love for her and it’s just *chefs kiss*. The angst, the pining, the mutual sacrifice for each other, the torment of wanting to be together but not being able to be together because of external forces/circustances, oh I am getting in a tizzy just thinking about it.  I won’t reveal anymore so as not to spoil the drama, but just know the ending may destroy you.

Is she thirsty? Am I thirsty? AM I THIRSTY?  Oh honey, if you don’t know the answer to that, then you must either be new here or you haven’t been paying attention to any of my posts in the past few weeks.  Look, from the first moment the camera panned to Darren Wang’s very well-defined and tan chest and windswept hair, all semblance of shame and dignity I ever tried to feign on this tumblr was immediately thrown out the window.  The feelings that he inspired within me were purely primal.  My cavewoman ancestor from millennia ago stopped gathering food in the harsh wilderness for a brief second to transmigrate into my body and go “me want big strong man!”

I mean, below is literally our introduction to Wolf Boy.  Am I supposed to just witness this and not feel anything?  The director knew what he/she was doing.  Anybody who worked on the drama who says they didn’t intend to exploit Darren Wang’s assets is a BOLD FACED LIAR. And this isn’t even Wolf boy in his hottest form.

That would be this:

Damn, your girl needs a moment here.  When Wolf Boy turns into Bad Hot Wolf Man, wheeeeewww.  The things that came out of my mouth and the thoughts that popped up into my head.

Examples of shameless fangirl drooling can be found here: https://tomorrowsdrama.tumblr.com/post/636986055498792960/dangermousie-this-should-be-illegal-i-mean Here: https://tomorrowsdrama.tumblr.com/post/637238885944033280/dangermousie-i-am-fucking-dead-the-end-this Here: https://tomorrowsdrama.tumblr.com/post/637793196830769152/dangermousie-wolfie-acquired-a-kid-omg Here: https://tomorrowsdrama.tumblr.com/post/635272988321775616/dangermousie-i-dont-know-about-you-guys-but and here: https://tomorrowsdrama.tumblr.com/post/637621638524977152/dangermousie-hnnnnnnnngh-i-am-beginning-to-forget

Honestly, just check out The Wolf tag on @dangermousie​ tumblr and you won’t be disappointed.  Prepare to become obsessed, horny, and heartbroken.

Would I watch it minus the thirst traps? Have you ever thirsted so much that you couldn’t separate what reaction was hormonal and what was objective?  Like the guy is so hot to you that when your friends ask you what do you like about him, the first 10 things you can think of are “he’s hot!” and then you try to remind yourself that you’re not a shallow person who actually cares about things other than looks but at the same time you can’t for the life of you think of a non-hot based trait that you like about the guy  Yeah, that’s what happened here so sorry, I can’t give you an objective opinion.  It’s not that there’s nothing objectively good about The Wolf, it’s just that my judgment is too clouded by Darren Wang’s abs and big hands.  But from what I can tell by other people’s posts, even if you didn’t thirst for Darren Wang (Are you made of stone?  But also, can you please teach me your magic so I can go back to being a semi-functional working woman?), The Wolf is still a very enjoyable drama with its own non-Darren Wang related merits.

2. My Beautiful Bride

Brief Summary: A drama about a strait-laced banker who wears a dorky backpack and rides a bicycle everywhere while wearing the dorkiest looking helmet ever and his beautiful bride-to-be whom he is hopelessly devoted to.  This being a kdrama, and an OCN drama at that, things aren’t all what they appear to be.  Yes, you read that right, an OCN. ROMANCE. DRAMA.  Turns out the beautiful bride-to-be has a dangerous past that soon comes back to haunt her and she mysteriously disappears one day from strait-laced banker’s life in the typical kdrama way to protect him.  Part of the reason she leaves him is also because she doesn’t want him to know about her past because she doesn’t think she’s good enough for him.  Little does she know, he knows everything about her past and accepts it all.  The only reason why he doesn’t bring it up is because he knows she doesn’t want him to know about that part of herself and he loves her so much he’s willing to do anything to make her happy.  But also, another thing she doesn’t know is that underneath that boring but perfectly ironed suit, is a finely chiseled, super efficient fighting machine who did his mandatory military service in the special forces.  He is like the terminator meets Liam Neeson’s character in Taken.  He has a very particular set of skills and will stop at nothing to get his bride back.

Is she thirsty?  Please just watch this video and you will have your answer: https://youtu.be/Ut9MhxWadHM

Prior to The Wolf, My Beautiful Bride was probably the most thirst-inducing drama I watched in 2020.

I mean, just look

at this

at all of this

I don’t’ know how Joo Young saw that body and never questioned whether he really was just a banker.  The writers of the drama must be super heterosexual men who are blind because so many of the characters in the drama question why someone as beautiful as Joo Young would ever want to be with someone like the banker. Um..Um...aside from the fact that he is financially well off, treats her well, is loving and respectful of her, and prioritizes her over everything else, JUST LOOK AT HIM.  I was so thirsty for Kim Mu Yeol in this role that I would accidentally tag this drama as My Beautiful Banker sometimes.  The banker was on a relentless one-man mission to take back his bride and turn me on in the process and ooooooh boy was he successful on both fronts.  He is seriously sex on legs every time he beats up a baddie in his quest to find answers about Joo Young’s whereabouts.

Would I watch it minus the thirst traps?  I binged the first six episodes of this drama in one afternoon partly because of my thirst, but also partly because it’s a very well made crime-action-gangster drama.  This is an OCN drama so you can expect a competently made production with well choreographed/bloody action scenes and a solid script.

3. Scarlet Heart Ryeo / Moon Lovers

Brief Summary: IU plays Hae Soo, a modern woman who is somehow transported back in time to the Goryeo period.  There, she gets entangled with a group of royal princes.  Her two main love interests are Wang So (played by Lee Jun Ki) and Wang Wook (played by Kang Ha Neul).  The princes vie for the throne and some of them for Hae Soo’s affection.  Lee Jun Ki does what he does best, which is play a sexy tortured deadly man who looks way too good with blood splattered on his face.  Kang Ha Neul is the seemingly kind prince/daddy long legs character who turns out to be not so kind or daddy long leggy.  Hae Soo is...well IU did the best she could with what she was given (which was a hot inconsistent mess).

Is she thirsty? Scarlet Heart Ryeo is like the honeypot of thirst traps.  It’s essentially a reverse harem set up with a prince for everyone.

Like them young and cute?  Then try the 10th prince, Wang Eun.

Want them big, tall, and kinda dumb?  Here’s the 14th prince Wang Jung for ya.

Want an evil bastard with an affinity for guyliner?  Try out 3rd prince Wang Yo.

Tall, slender, and scholarly? 13th prince Baek-ah will fill your needs.

Is a kind/gentle man who will ultimately disappoint you because he doesn’t show up when you need him most more your speed?  Well, let me introduce you to 8th prince, Wang Wook.

Kinda scary but oh so hot and with a ton of baggage?  We’re talking, I overpacked and brought 10 overstuffed large suitcases levels of baggage. 4th prince Wang So is the guy for you.

And if you prefer someone with no personality, presence, or memorable traits, I got a two-for-one deal for you in the crown prince Wang Mu and 9th prince Wang Won.

Would I watch it minus the thirst traps?  There is political intrigue, scheming, romance, fluffy hijinks (my least favorite parts of the drama), angst, beautiful costumes, and pretty decent fight scenes.  Scarlet Heart Ryeo is a pretty solid fusion/fantasy sageuk mostly thanks to Lee Jun Ki.  The only person who has ever carried a larger load on his back is Atlas.  I’m not saying all the other actors are horrendous. It’s just very clear that the one elevating the material beyond the inconsistencies/messiness/elementary politics of the script is Lee Jun Ki.  Your enjoyment level of the drama will likely increase if you are a fan of any of the main actors.  

[spc4eva]

Star-Burned: Chapter One

Ok, honestly, I couldn’t stop myself.

So this is my first reader insert. I am hella nervous. There will be no Y/N included, but pet names (and nicknames) given out by Paz that will act as Y/N. Additionally, feel free to imagine yourself in the shoes of the character, but I am going to include a few features that she has - to include very, VERY Merida curly red hair. Honestly, I'm gonna treat her more like an OC, but since it's a reader insert - imagine yourselves how you want QUEEN.

There's gonna be smut. But plot. I promise.

Summary:  A Mandalorian crash lands on your planet with severe injuries. You're a moisture farmer who's handy. It's been a long time since you've had company other than your massiff, Jumbles. You take the Mandalorian in because you're a bleeding heart, not realizing what danger you've put yourself in. But the Mandalorian doesn't forget and he's more than willing to repay his debt and protect you.

Word Count: 5,398

Rating: M (18+) explicit sex scenes

| Chapter Two |

Cross Posted on AO3

Someone had crash landed.

Which, for this quiet hovel a planet, was the most action you'd seen in foreverrrr. Maybe ever to be honest. You were used to dealing with Jawas, the occasional drifter, and patching up your moisture farm as best as possible. Was honest work, pretty lonely since your folks had passed away, but it was all you had. Not entirely of course, there was the local wiley massiff that you'd feed scraps and talk to, as if it were a kindred soul, eying you with those beady little eyes before salivating over its disconcertingly large maw. Yeah, you should have been worried that it might've been sizing you up in case you didn't come out with a meal for it, but at least you did have a blaster. Would've been a sad day to have to put Jumbles down - yes, that's what you had named it. For no particular reason other than it had spontaneously fallen out of your mouth and the creature seemed to listen to it.

So when Jumbles trotted up with its spines quivering, baying and leaping around, you half expected it was going to lead you to another rotting womp rat corpse. What you were not expecting was to see smoke peeling from between the canyon walls, dark and sulfuric. Your years patching the farm up, making repairs to any scraps you had laying around - to include droids at times - had made you rather handy. You had to be when the nearest town was a two day ride on your speederbike. Self sufficiency was necessary, because it cost credits to get fuel and to ride out that far. Additionally, you had to plan for it... months ahead. 

Jumbles sprinted ahead, wagging a tailless rump before glancing back at you with bounce in his paws. Follow. Come quick. 

Now that you had an idea of what it was, your strides lengthened until you were chasing after the massiff. Between the terracotta walls and around a bend, until you were face to face with a crashed starship that had smoke rolling off the main engines. You winced at the carnage, a good portion of the hull smashed inward and splattered open, storage containers and supplies dashing the sand like organs splayed from a chest wound.

Jumbles woofed, approaching the wreckage. 

"Not a good idea, boy," you started to say. Even if it was a dangerous wild creature, you still worried about it and this mess was still smoking. Who knew if it was about to explode, there could be fuel leaks in tandem with hanging wires and-

Jumbles went inside the ship.

"Ah!" Your legs churned after it. Even if you had to drag the massiff out of the carnage, you would. Jawas would find it soon enough and have their way with the supplies. Could be a good amount of things to take, but even if you were friends with Jawas, you didn't really like picking the bones of others. 

Wires snapped and hissed like tiny snakes around your ear, threatening to singe your barely restricted hair as you ducked. The ship was in an abysmal condition, but the upper echelons of the craft were still intact... Warped, but intact. Your mechanic eyes began discerning the issues, locating the biggest issues first, which was-

Jumbles barked, your neck snapping fast enough that you thought you pulled a muscle. Palming your neck, you trailed forward and saw what... no, who the canine was standing over. Maybe he thought it was a droid. Hell, you thought it was a droid for a moment until you bent down to get a better look and saw that it was breathing. Jumbles yipped again and you blinked, realizing that the massive armored creature was a living person and looked hurt. 

"Hey," you started, poking into the man's shoulder where the blue steel didn't meet. "Hey, you need to get up. This ship might go-" Maker, he felt like metal underneath all those layers. Could be a droid then and you were just wasting your time. "C'mon get up!" But you couldn't leave someone here to die on their ship as it leaked fuel and ignited itself. You rarely saw people as it was and what if the last person you ever saw with this guy and you let him become a toasted human inside his armor?

Hooking your fingers into the pauldrons of the armor, you made a valiant attempt at trying to drag the figure out of the ship. He didn't budge. Face down, unconscious, and weighing an absolute ton. Your heart was pumping by now and panic made your hands shake as you desperately glanced around for a solution. Just... anything, a repulsor lift, a speeder... a speeder? Jolting to your feet, you spotted the storage area, having been thrown haphazardly around like a pinball during the crash landing, but still intact. 

Now, the issue would be getting this man onto the speeder. You couldn't even drag him, how in the Maker's name were you going to hoist him over? You brought the speeder over and chewed your lip at your plight, hopelessly glancing from bike to fallen warrior. 

"Hey," you tried again, hoping that maybe you'd get an answer this time. "Hey, c'mon are you in there?" You knocked on the helmet as if it were a door, your knuckles screaming in immediate protest. That was the least of your worries, because a hand flew out, grabbed your ankle, and ripped you off your feet. Back smacking on the steel floor, you groaned as the metal giant finally stirred. Despite the brazen display of insane speed, the figure was barely able to move more than a few centimeters... but he was alive, so he had that going for him. "Maker-" Scrambling back to your feet, you gave him another look over. "If you can hear me, I'm going to try and get you on your feet. I need your help though, can't pick you up myself."

You positioned yourself around him, finding his arm and slinging it around your shoulders before popping a squat. Now, you weren't very big or very strong. Just strong enough to lift things when you needed to, but you had lifts to do the heavier jobs back on the farm. Your knees quaked as you tested the pressure before sucking in a greedy breath. "Alright, one, two, three-" Exploding upward - or making an attempt to explode upward - you made it about a foot and a half before your calves died on you and your back buckled forward. "AH!" It didn't feel good, the absolute loss of control over your body as you expected to fly face first into the side of the speeder. Unfortunately for you, you didn't have a helmet protecting your face.

But it never came and you chanced opening an eye to look. The man was trying to stand, alleviating a brief amount of pressure as you widen your eyes. Swallowing the huge lump in your throat, you quickly thrust him forward and unceremoniously onto the bike. He grunted, but didn't manage any words before lolling, stomach first, onto the seat. 

There would be no comfortable way to ride this bike, you saw that now as you tried to shove him over the tail a little better, squeezing yourself tightly into the thrusters, almost off the seat entirely as you kicked it into gear and backed out through the massive tear in the hull. Jumbles ran along dopily as you very carefully - at almost a gruelling pace - brought the bike through the ravine and up the ride toward your moisture farm. Now came the second issue.

Getting him inside. 

"We have to walk again," you warned him, the light of day revealing the color of the man's armor - a deep ocean (or from pictures you’d seen of oceans) blue accent with marigold yellow. Didn't quite strike you when you were panicking, but you saw it now as the haze of strife cleared. A Mandalorian. You had pulled a kriffing Mandalorian from the wreckage of his ship. Fuck. That ship definitely had carbon scarring on it - indicative of a dogfight.

Too fucking late now.

"6PO can you get the lift?" You shouted for the protocol droid, an old rusted out piece of crap that you'd reprogrammed to help around the house. There was too much for you to do with just your own hands. The droid could manage the more mundane tasks, but still made a piss pour cup of caf. 

The droid stuttered out - having never learned to talk properly - gave you a blank look, and then started waddling toward the work shed where the lift would be. 

"Alright, mando, can you hear me?" you bent over, turning his helmet so that the visor was sort of looking up toward you. "Your ship crashed. Where are you hurt? I can't see that much with all that armor on." Part of you was asking this so you could tend his wounds and then send him packing. "6PO?" you raised your voice irritably, Maker that droid was always slow right when you needed it to be fast.

"W-where?" Finally he spoke, his strangled voice translated through the modulator in his helmet, breathy and in pain.

You told him the planet, pretty backwater and without much activity. There was a spaceport on the other side of the planet, but nowhere near where he was now. Finally, 6PO came over with the lift, cocking its head as you sighed. "About bloody time," you grumble, dragging the lift up and devoting your attention to your charge once again. "Gotta get up again."

This time the Mandalorian was more receptive, putting weight on his legs as you eased him onto the lift, which sagged until his weight. By the way he was cradling his abdomen you were guessing there was some sort of trauma there, but it was hard to tell. You weren't a medic, you weren't even pretending to be as you brought him into your home and slipped him onto your bed since it was the biggest one in the house. But what you did have was bacta, because if something happened to you where you crushed an arm or broke a bone, you needed to be able to fix it. Wasn't often that you had to use the concentrated shots, but it was always better to keep one on hand (even if it cost a fuckton of credits for it). Better to spend the money than die with it in your pocket.

Should you use it on the Mandalorian? That was the question, wincing as he drew rattled breaths in the bed, holding the shot in your palm as you really considered how many credits you had spent on this last year. 

"I need to take a look. Can I remove your armor?" Very carefully you approached like a womp rat before a nexu, almost afraid that one of the very many weapons on his belt might soon be tilted toward you. Of course you knew the stories about Mandalorians and having a behemoth one in your modest home didn't make you feel much better. But he was still a person.

"Not... not the helmet," he grunted eventually.

Everything but the helmet. Alright, that could work. You didn't know how armor worked, so removing the armor was a shitshow of fumbling, your fingers catching buckles, pinching flesh, and other times was fastened so tightly that you had to put some weight into getting the kriffing things off. Took the better part of an hour, but you managed to remove the armor - aside from the helmet - and leave the Mandalorian in just his flight suit and boots. Now this next part felt a bit intrusive, but you convinced yourself that this was in for the better health of the mando.

Unbuttoning the top of the flight suit, you started to peel it down, a rush of heat playing across your cheeks as you revealed the muscular and well hewn figure of the ailing man beneath the beskar. You looked a little too long, but doubted the fellow was even conscious enough to catch your ogling. Biting your lips, you pushed the undershirt up and took your medical scanner to the constellation of bruising against his ribcage. Oh, it didn't look good and the scanner came back with a result that made your legs weak, but not in a good way.

"You've got three broken ribs, lacerations to your spleen and kidneys--" ok you didn't know medical stuff, but the device was blinking indicating that he needed treatment immediately or face going sepsis. Your brain nearly exploded with panic as you tripped over your own feet and sprinted for the bacta infusion, which jumped between your nervous, sweaty hands. "Th-this isn't g-gonna feel good," you stammered, uncapping the three pronged syringe. Maker you hated looking at it, the thing looked like a torture device. 

Or go sepsis---

You shanked him with the infusion, pushing the plunger down, expecting him to recoil in pain. Actually, he didn't, which made your head turn slowly and a cascade of fiery curls follow as you just stared, in more distress than the severely wounded mando. "I-I will leave you to rest."

---

The infusion had been enough to stave off sepsis and repair the Mandalorian's organs, but he was still recovering from the broken bones. From your readings, the bacta had set them back into place, but he required more time to naturally heal the rest. What that meant was that you had suddenly become his caretaker, which consisted of feeding and helping him over to the fresher because he couldn't take his full weight on his injured side. For a Mandalorian, you didn't think he was that mean or callous. If anything, he was pretty gracious that you'd put the effort into struggling to get him back to your ranch.

But work didn't stop. In fact, you still had to run the farm while periodically checking in on the Mandalorian. Despite it, you tried not to seem bone weary when he asked for him. Wasn't his fault. If anything, it was your fault for helping him in the first place. He did answer a few questions, rumbling in a deep voice that sounded like thunder hinting at lightning on the horizon. 

"What's your name?" "You can call me Paz."

"Why did you crash land?" "I was shot down."

"Why though?" "Made some Imps upset."

"So you can't take your helmet off?" "Not in front of anything living."

"Oh so, it's fine if they're dead." "I try not to remove it unless I'm alone."

"Why is it blue?" "Why is what blue?"

"Your armor? Why choose blue?" "It's my favorite color." 

“Mine’s gold. Kind of like the yellow there on your armor.” “Your what?” “My favorite color.”

"You think those Imps are going to come looking for you?" "My ship crash landed, so I doubt it."

That ship, you had actually gone back to one afternoon to cordoned off from the Jawas. You knew them and decided that you liked the Mandalorian enough you weren't going to let his belongings get looted. Since it was close to your farm, laying claim to it - by Jawa code - was not difficult. You left them signs in their tongue, warding them off, before finding yourself taken aback that the thing hadn't exploded while you were gone. It needed a lot of work and probably a proper spaceport where it could be hoisted up and repaired from underneath. 

Your stupid bleeding heart meant that you went and fixed a few wires in your spare time, soldering them off, and cleaning up the worst of the wreckage. The engines would take more time, but they weren't too dissimilar from what you'd worked on in other vehicles, including your speeder and tractor. Peeling open a few holobooks, you would hum yourself to sleep at night in your childhood bedroom, blinking away sleep as you contemplated how else you might help this... Paz. Being generous was not forlorn to you. You'd helped drifters passing through, offered to lodge them up for the night, fill their bellies before sending them off... This planet wasn't that bad aside from the arid landscape and mischievous Jawas. 

Not like you had to worry about raiders or skugs. So your tenderheartedness hadn't come to bite you in the ass yet and aside from wanting a replacement to the bacta shot, you weren't expecting payment. It was called being a good human being and you pride yourself on the fact that you'd done something so nice. Plus, the added bonus was you didn't only have Jumbles to talk to. Now there was a living, breathing person who could hold conversation with you. Course, wasn't really to his will, but you tried not to pester him too much even though you were incredibly curious about what he did. Plus he seemed to get bored being pent up in that room. 

"Tranyc," he'd taken to calling you that in some mysterious language you didn't know, as you hummed into the bedroom after knocking, carrying fresh caf and breakfast. Weeks had passed and he was almost well enough. "I think I might be able to walk on my own. Do you mind-"

Mind keeping an eye out for him? You nod, setting the tray down on the nightstand before preparing yourself. Now, you were a master of helping the blue Mandalorian on his feet, keenly aware of where you fit and could support him from without being crumpled like tin foil. He threw his legs over the bed, testing his feet on the floor as you stood guard, poised like a goalie ready to catch the ball in front of a net before the big shot was made.  Admittedly, you were a little too silly for your own good, but being on your own for so long had done that. You would talk to yourself, make funny gestures, and do ridiculous things just to chase away the loneliness. Those mannerisms hadn’t really faded in light of your new acquaintance.

Paz pushed off the bed and stood there, towering over you at full height. You relaxed, glad to see that he was able to hold his own, but also sad about that. A pit welled in your belly, the realization that these few weeks had brought you a lot of happiness in having the company of another. And... you kind of liked him. Not in a companionable sort of way. No, you thought he was attractive --- from his voice, to his sturdy body, to the calm manner he'd talk to you. Despite all the stories you'd heard about Mandalorians, he was very warm and patient. Even if there was no face to place with all of that, attraction was more than just appearances, wasn't it? Then again, you'd been shocked by your sudden arousal on the first day of his arrival after just brushing his muscular chest.

Living alone didn't help your touch-starved addled brain.

And then he took a step forward and your spine jolted, darting forward as he winced for his side and wobbled. "Ah-hee!" a strange noise came out of your mouth as you tried to stop the tower of a man from tumbling and honestly, he tried too. But the result was still a mess of limbs, and you tried to take the brunt of the fall, cushioning him so that he didn't hurt his ribs again. Maker, that was your first mistake, thinking that you could take the weight of his body.

All air was crushed from your lungs, vision spinning as you made impact with the carpet. And it wasn't coming afterward, your throat bobbing but the pressure on your ribcage still too much that you were suffocating and unable to see at the same time. "Maker!" it wasn't your voice, but at the sound of it, the air whooshed back into your lungs and you sputtered hoarsely as someone sat you up. Not someone. There was only one other person on this farm. "Tranyc? Hey, can you hear me?"

"Y-yup!" you squeaked, the frayed edges of your vision swimming hazily back into focus as you saw that Paz was sitting on the floor with you, propping your semi-noodley form up. "A-are you ok?"

He sighed, the noise crackling out of his helmet as you trembled, sensation returning to your muscles. "I nearly crushed you. What were you thinking?"

"T-trying t-to he-help," you stammer, taking big gulps of air in between each word. Now you could feel a bit better, rolling your neck as you took account of what had happened. You had jumped to his side before he fell, taking the brunt of the fall directly on top of you. Not very smart at all. Then, he'd turned, picked you up and you were --- you were on his lap. "Wha--" Lancing like wildfire across a dry field of brush, blush erupted up your neck and face. "I-I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing? I fell on you," Paz pointed out, his helmet tilting to the side as your ears began buzzing. "Are you certain you're ok? I nearly flattened you."

"C-couldn't b-b-be be-better," your tongue was betraying you, thick and clumsy as you pushed against his chest -- oh Maker, the chest without the armor and only the flight suit. You could feel the grooves of his strong pectoral muscles beneath, the color on your face heightening to as bright a red as your hair. "I should... I should leave you to eat. Breakfast is on the ta-table."

You got to your feet, the weak wobbly limbs shaking, but not because you had been used as a pillowy landing for the Mandalorian. No, a heat radiated around your tummy and laddled lower into the abyss between your legs. A very, infrequently ventured area that had been visited once or twice by drifters, but never for much longer than an evening. Anyways, the Mandalorian wouldn't be interested in anything like that. You were just being hormonal and touch-starved. A little alone time could help you with that, right? 

Pushing back your mop of hair, you trotted into the kitchen, glanced at the time and then rolled over onto the couch from behind. You flopped onto the cushions, hair flying everywhere again before you stared blankly at the ceiling, wishing you weren't so terribly horny right now after just grazing a man's chest. How pitiful was that? You were an adult, had been for a good amount of years, and all it took was a deep voice and strong body to make you lose all sense of yourself? 

A soft whimper parted your mouth, the ache so desperate and painful that you gripped the fabric of your coveralls over your crotch and pressed into the sensation. Well, he couldn't walk anyways and you were the only one who lived in the house, so there was no risk in just relaxing here, was there? Despite it, you grabbed the nearby blanket and kicked off your overalls, returning a hand to the ailing point between your thighs. 

Cheeks flushed, neck cocked against the arm rest, you spun circles on the fabric, your pads picking up the wetness through the material. Maker, you were absolutely dripping, soaking through your panties, and making your fingers tacky. Hooking underneath the textile, you run your fingers along the warmth, licking your lips and closing your eyes -- the first thing coming to mind being Paz. The mystery of the man beneath, the muscular pillars of his body, the golden blonde curls against his broad chest. 

Your fingers move up to the bundle of nerves so desperate for attention, nearly screaming at you as you finally lavish attention. His voice, the deep rumble and attentiveness as you talk from where you sit in that chair beside the bed -- your bed. He was sleeping in your bed. Would it smell like him after? Would you ever wash the damn blankets after he left? Probably not. Edging yourself closer, you imagined his thick fingers plunging into your heat, reaching up into your molten core and--

"Tracyn?"

You nearly fell off the couch, clutching onto your sex for dear life as you froze. Your whole body vibrated, muscles stiffening as you fought off the white hot surge of an orgasm. How the fuck had he gotten out of the room? 

Tufts of your long hair were sticking out from the couch. No matter how far you slumped down, tried to hide beneath the edge of the blanket, your fucking hair was a blinding curly beacon and fluffing out as an admission of betrayal. 

You couldn't hold your breath any longer, the guttural whine hitching as the orgasm pittered into a woefully unsatisfying leap -- like a bird that had flung itself over a cliff with a broken wing, somewhat flying before it plummeted to the earth below. He came around the couch, still clutching his side, and paused. Now, the blanket was in the way, but your coveralls were crumpled on the floor and your face was deliciously flushed. 

Oh, stars you looked awful. You absolutely knew how dirty you felt by assuming that he'd not walk out and find you, hand slicked with your own wetness and too embarrassed to move. 

"What are you- Did I hurt you?" he asked, reaching down to snare the blanket away.

"N-no!" you gripped it with your free hand, but half of it was pulled away to reveal the outside of your bare leg, and the arm that was still hiding down there. 

"Were you...?" his helmet tilted as you both just remained where you were for a beat. Heart racing like fathiers on a track in Canto Bight, your lower lip trembled in shame, waiting for him to throw the blanket back over and return to the room. He was walking. He could just leave and let you wallow in your own miserable chagrin -- drown in it at this point... "Did you finish?"

"W-what?" you squeaked, face managing to deepen another shade of crimson. 

"Did you finish, mesh'la?" he repeated, sitting down on the couch by your feet, a tanned palm tracing the top of the foot. His skin was calloused, rough, and sandpapery. The foreign sensation made you shudder in his grasp, but it wasn't unpleasant. In fact, you liked the way his hand slowly coasted your calf in a soothing manner. "All alone on this big farm. Not another soul aside from Jumbles."

True, not another soul. You gave a quivering nod in agreement as his hand reached to graze the back of your knee. Still so gentle, with no insistency or malice. 

"Doing everything all on your own. The farm, helping me, taking care of yourself," his hand moved higher, framing the outside of your lower thigh, which caused you to jump. "You haven't once asked me for anything. No repayment or deal despite using that bacta... Couldn't have been cheap. This is just a moisture farm, you're not raking in credits..." He paused, grazing your upper thigh now, daring to push the blanket over a bit more. "For weeks now... Helping me... Did you finish?"

You had, but it hadn't been any good. Your stupid head bobs anyways, sending a few curls tumbling into your face. 

"Maybe-" he was drawing his hand back, the warmth of his scratchy fingers receding and you actually whined because of it, his helmet tilting back up to look at you. "Maybe," he was stronger now. "I can repay you a little for all you've done."

Maker, not a word came out of your mouth, you were nearly gnawing on the blanket from how nervous you were, but also from how much your core began aching again. 

"Do you want me to, mesh'la? I won't touch you unless you want it. I don't want to overstay my welcome, I just thought that-" he trailed off and you wondered what he had thought. Had you been so obvious about liking him? You didn't think so, you thought you had been your usually, dorky but polite self.

"I want you to," you insisted, releasing the blanket so that the rest could slip off and pool on the floor. You still had your shirt on, but you were nude from the hips down, fronds of hair curling over your mound that matched the drapes. This felt oddly... exposing, even if it was only the lower half. And the fact you couldn't read him didn't help, just a blank mask of a face that was drinking you in and you had no idea if he liked or disliked what he saw. What if you were not at all what he had been hoping for? What if he didn't like what he saw?

He groaned, his palm returning to your leg, sliding up and burning a blistering wake of fire before he curved into your hip and jerked you toward him. "Oh, mesh'la," he moaned. "A desert gemstone hidden in these canyons. How did I get so lucky? Of all the planets and places-" he touched you down there, the very sensation of hands not your own making you jolt and your neck tense. Fuck --- it really had been a long time. "Wh-when the last time... have you ever... ?"

"A fe-ew ye-ears now," you admitted as his fingers scissor up between your folds. "Be-been on m-my ow-own for si-six. N-not ma-any t-t-travelers."

"So wet," he muttered, bringing the slick up and pinning two fingers on your aching bud. Back stiffening, you bucket at the sensation, grounded by his other palm pressing into the hollow of your hip. You were halfway tugged onto his lap as he watched on with fascination, the curve of your left leg hooked against his hip. "What were you thinking of? Before I found you?"

You blush deeper, if that were at all possible, turning your face away from him as he continued to draw lazy circles on your clit. "Y-you."

His groans again, a growing hardness against your leg -- a hardness for you. It's hard to decide what is more startling -- the fact that Paz is here getting you off or that he's aroused by the fact that you'd been playing with yourself while envisioning him. "I'll take care of you. You deserve it mesh'la. After everything you've done for me. I'll make you feel good," he promised, increasing his pace, dipping in his ring and pinkie finger while he continued to oscillate against your bundle of nerves. His fingers stretched you, just as thick and delicious as you'd imagined -- no, it was better than you imagined because it was real. Pumping into you gently, reaching so much deeper than your own small fingers can. "Tight. Maker, you're so tight."

Squirming on the couch, you grabbed onto the cushioned as he pleasured you, coaxing you toward the end of days, making you see stars beneath your closed eyelids. Your breath hitched in the back of your throat, a warbled cry strangled completely as your legs locked out and walls tightened to vice grip his fingers. 

"Cum on me, mesh'la. Let it all out, come on," he encouraged, his fingers quickening over your clit, your soul absolutely rending as you as ecstasy drowns your senses, your muscles clench, and the scenery of the house falls away. You're floating, physical body panning away from you as you bliss out and disconnect from your breathing and deflating heart rate. You'd never had an orgasm this heart stopping, so utterly piercing that you couldn't even tell where you were anymore. 

Finally, you blinked out of your stupor, expecting to be left laying cock legged and messy, but instead you're in bed. Your actual bed, not the twin one that you had been sleeping in the past few weeks. Rolling your head to the side, you didn't see him, but you heard him in the adjoining fresher. You had underwear back on and a pair of pajama bottoms. 

What the heck was happening? Did it matter? You just hoped it wasn't ending anytime soon.

[sunarintoes]

Boyfriend Headcanons

Includes: Sakusa, Komori, Shirabu, Atsumu

Warnings: none - just pure fluff :) oh wait some swearing!!

✗ you have to be clean!! There’s no two ways about this. Of course you dont have to be super clean freak germaphobe!! (Extra points if you are because cleaning is his passion and he hates germs and he would love to share that with you)

✗ it takes a while for him to become affectionate, he has to ‘get used to your germs’ and all. When you are at home he will love to cuddle with you!! He particularly loves it when you are clean sitting in his lap while watching a movie! Because!! Then he can wrap his arms around you and rest his head on yours!

✗ one of his favourite dates is going shopping together... to the chemist. He likes having you with him as he looks through all the hygiene and sanitary items, often asks you ‘does this smell good’ because baby wants to be clean AND smell good. He will smell like a fresh bouquet if you so wish. Afterwards he’ll take you out to eat and pay for your food as a thank you.

✗ he’s in no way, shape or form fond of PDA. It makes him uncomfortable and he prefers to keep his private life, private. And you completely respect that!! The most he will go is the occasional hand holding or giving you his vbc jacket.

✗ he will make it clear he’s in a relationship though! He doesnt want his fan girls to continue coming on to him so he will tell them bluntly, it probably went something like this: ‘I am in a relationship with Yn. If you have a problem I dont care. Please stop trying to get in with me from here on out and dont touch Yn otherwise I’ll drown you in bleach.’ Wow isnt he just a charmer.

✗ he doesnt mind if you wear a face mask or not, but be prepared: he will refuse to kiss you until you’ve thoroughly washed your face. He does think your face is cute/pretty/handsome/etc so I think he’d prefer to see it.

✗ i don’t think hes one to be jealous or possessive but doesn’t like it if other people ‘contaminate you with germs’ so he’ll most likely stick around you to defend you from ‘germs’ so i guess he’s pretty protective. But not toxic protective!! He likes it when you come to his games and cheer for him!

✗ Komori is the softest ever! He loves you and he loves affection!!!! Bb is kinda clingy but its okay because he’s adorable and you love his hugs! He loves snuggling with you - face to face, while the both of you talk about anything and everything!

✗ he definitely loves it when you come to his games and he always gives you his jacket to wear! After every game when he sees you waiting for him in the foyer he runs up and hugs you.

✗ he lives to see you smile! Komori really loves when you smile! Please smile for him! But don’t fake it! Fake smiles make him sad! If he ever sees you fake a smile (and he can always tell bcz of how much he loves your smile) he will always make time to speak with you or FaceTime you to ask you how you’re going and if you’re okay. He doesn’t like his bb being sad :’)

✗ Komori really likes cute cliche dates! Sometimes you tease him about it but you can’t deny that he always makes them special - even if they’ve been done a million times before. Picnic dates and star gazing dates are a must!

✗ when it comes to PDA, he’s not necessarily against or for it, hes just kinda like eh whatever works in the moment. However!! Holding hands everywhere is a must.

✗ I don’t see him as the type to get jealous and/or possessive. He gives vibes that are full of positivity, so I feel like in a relationship with him he’s very trusting and understanding. However, if someone is flirting with you and making you uncomfortable he will intervene. Unless!! You have it under control, if so then he’ll just come up and stand next to you with a passive aggressive smile directed at the dude. If you don’t have it under control, he will come up and put a hand on your shoulder to reassure you and then he will talk to the guy. He starts off by asking a random question like ‘how’s the weather’ or whatever, and this usually confuses the guy because ‘???? Who’s this dude and why’s he talking to me so friendly’ anywho, he chats the dude’s ears off and the dude ends up leaving.

✗ he cant cook but can make he finest 2min noodles. Eat his noodles. He’ll be happy.

✗ aight here we are, piss hair - my second favourite Miya <3 jk

✗ being real, if youre gonna date atsumu you have to have to be able to take a joke. Please dont be offended. It’s just that he likes to joke around with you and 10/10 will point to something ugly and say ‘that’s you babe.’ He doesn’t do it to be mean!!! No!! He just sucks shit at expressing himself and therefore he teases you to show his affection verbally. He often says ‘I love ya’ to remind you because he knows words can hurt. He does his best to not be too mean :,) and if you ever look slightly sad because of something he said he will flick the switch and turn into a really loving bf. Hah simp.

✗ he wont admit it but he loves affection. Pda is a yes for him. Loves it when you sit in his lap or hold is hand or jump onto his back. He thinks you’re the cutest. You wear his jacket. Before and after games he gives you a sweet kiss on the lips, nothing steamy though thats for back home. He hugs you as a stress release. I know that sounds weird but he finds you to be so comforting and when he engulfs you in a hug and he can smell your shampoo/perfume he just feels really safe and loved and all round lucky to have you.

✗ Oh I know a lot of people have this hc about him only allowing you to cheer for him during his serves but I dont vibe with that. He likes it silent to concentrate so even if you were special (which you are) he doesnt want that game concentration interrupted, which you of course respect and understand. However as soon as his serves are up and its actual game time please cheer as loud as you want because he loves it when you cheer him and his boys team on!!

✗ mans is jealous, he doesnt like it when others get too comfy comfy with you. Like he knows you have other friends and he gets that but he does not! And I repeat - does not! Like it if they (esp opposite gender) get super touchy with you because in his head: ‘why get touchy with her/him/them when I’m literally right here???’ Oh yeah and he hates it when some weirdo is tryna chat you up, so to combat that he would definitely make his presence known. In scenario 1: ‘hey buddy can I have my girl/boy/sIo for a sec? Yeah thanks mate.’ Then he proceeds to kiss you harshly on the lips. Scenario 2: he walks up to the guy/girl/person and puts a hand on the both of yours shoulder. ‘She’s/he’s/they’re taken buddy, scram it.’ And the weirdo gets intimidated by that passive aggressive smile and the strong hand on his shoulder so they usually run away with a scowl right after they’re told.

✗ hes only soft for you behind closed doors sorry bb. Mans is a big simp. Even if he wont show it. I headcanon that he has a horse and knows how to ride it so sometimes he rides it to your house and calls you to come outside. You go outside and there he is, sitting on this large beast with a picnic basket, ‘hey babes wanna have a picnic?’ Ngl you’re surprised every time but go anyways. Omg imagine one day when youre at the picnic he’s all like ‘hey babes wanna see a trick?’ And youre like, ‘yeah sure’ so he gets on the horse and does idk something but then gets bucked off. Omg that shit would be hysterical. Brb gonna write a short scenario on this.

✗ wow ok I love him so much

✗ ok ok so we know Shirabu is smart (example in the timeskip) so he often stays up really really late to work on assignments and to study which means he can get very tired and burnt out esp when he has to do volleyball on top of all that. This is where you come in, you often visit his dorms (Shiratorizawa has dorms so thats the base for shirabu) and when you visit his dorms you bring lots of food - healthy foods to get his brain working but also snack foods to help him relax and release some of that good ol’ serotonin.

✗ when he studies but also feels like cuddling you find yourself facing him while sitting in his lap. You gotta move though cause he’s still working so you end up just cuddling into him like a koala. When he doesnt have to write/is busy reading he will wrap his arms around you and place a kiss to your forehead. He loves you omg, thinks you’re the cutest thing ever. IN FACT his home screen is a picture of you asleep, cuddling him in his lap. The only reason you’re not his lock screen is bc he has a rep to keep up in the club and cant have brats like goshiki knowing he can be soft or tendou teasing him for being ‘simp.’

✗ like atsumu, you gotta be able to take a joke because mans is a salt stick and loves teasing/roasting you. Ofc you do it back. Sometimes you team up and tease Kawanishi together. Please save Kawanishi, he does not want to deal with either of you, bb is tired from volleyball.

✗ shirabu knows he may not be the ideal boyfriend - he’s hopelessly devoted to the volleyball club and studies the life out of himself, so he often finds himself apologising to you and feeling incredibly guilty that he may have to cancel your date every so often. You make sure to remind him that its okay, that you knew what you were getting into when you started dating him and that you admire that he’s so determined and such a hardworker and that you love him. Every time you tell him he almost cries, he loves you.

✗ to make up for lost dates he will invite you to his dorm, or he’ll go to yours and the both of you will spend the day cuddling and snacking on food while watching movies. For him this is like killing two birds with one stone because 1) he gets to relax and have some downtime and 2) he gets to spend that time with you and just being in your presence relaxes him so much. Hhhhh hes so precious omg i love him. Oh and he’ll make sure to tell you that he loves you - it took a while for him to say it because he wanted it to mean something.

✗ when it comes to pda he’s not the most comfortable about it, yknow he just prefers to keep that to himself. But!! Will 100% hold your hand if you ask. Sometimes you don’t even have to ask! He just really likes holding your hand.

✗ now is he jealous or possessive? Yes he is jealous, i cant describe why. He just gives those vibes. I think it’s because he has a lot of self doubt and insecurities about being a good boyfriend that he feels like someone could just sweep you away. He’s self aware so he knows it’s his insecurities talking so he does his best to not believe and act on them but sometimes when someone is deliberately flirting and knows you have a bf he will be big mad. Full on walks up to the guy with an intimidating aura and roasts him. Ngl you find it funny because he’s spitting out insults faster than you could say supercalifragi- something i forgot how to spell it lol.

[classic80sand90smovieloves2]

Spike having a crush on you would include~

(Not my gif)(sort of requested by anonymous)

(Spike was one of my first crushes and he will forever hold a spot in my heart)

- The entirety of your relationship: Enemies to lovers, slow burn, 500k words.

- When Spike falls in love he falls hard. For him it’s not just a simple crush, he is absolutely irrevocably in love with you.

- You’d have to be someone who he’s occasionally forced to interact with whether that be a friend of Buffys or a hunter yourself. At the start of your “relationship” you hate each other and for good reason but then one moment he sees you in a different light and it’s all over for him.

- After that he’s more or less hopelessly devoted to you.

- Lets make one thing clear: he makes it very difficult for you to get rid of him. You could absolutely hate him and he’d still force you to be around him, like showing up to your job where you can’t turn him away or barging in on something you can’t make a scene at.

- He’s kind of a masochist especially when it comes to you. Beat him up, be aggressively sarcastic, tell him to shut up; he likes it.

- But as much as he likes aggression he’d also flock to a woman who treats him kindly when no one else does. If you were to show him the smallest bit of affection or kindness he would gravitate towards you whenever you were around.

- He really wants to get on your good side and be respected by you. He can’t help but tell you how he thinks him doing this or that should count for something and that you could at least be friendly to him even if you hated him.

- A lot of his decisions are fueled by how many good boy points he’ll get. Praise is honestly like a drug to him and he thinks a lot of the things he does deserves praise since he used to be evil.

- He very proudly tells you about the good deeds he did with Buffy.

- You’re the only thing that keeps him doing good and holding on. You’re the reason he can keep himself together in even the toughest of situations.

- He gets a bit shy at times, unsure of what to say around you and not wanting to make a fool of himself. Other times he’d get all sarcastic and tease you, trying to deflect from how he really feels or how much your annoyance by him bothers him.

- If you were to blatantly show your distaste for him, he’d insist that he never liked you anyway and try his best to insult you although they’d always be weak.

- He gets really defensive about things involving you or how he feels.

- After he gets embarrassed he just tends to turn around and walk off, not wanting to “make a fool of himself” any longer than he has to.

- He’s very protective. Even if he previously hated or wanted you dead, he couldn’t bear to see you hurt. He’d go after anyone who made you upset or injured you.

- Always tries his best to comfort you even though he hardly remembers how it feels to be human and have human emotions. He’s out of touch but he’ll give it a shot; patting your back and/or assuring you everything will be okay. The first few times around it will definitely be weird having him try but you’ll get used to it.

- He uses any excuse he can to visit you or make you invite him over.

- Makes up stories to get you to come over to his house and hang out with him because he doesn’t think you’d agree to be around him if he didn’t.

- Very affected by the thought of you naked or in some form of undress.

- Steals your clothes or pictures of you, like genuinely breaks into your house and steals them. Look he doesn’t exactly have a moral code, alright?

- He’s moody and obsessed and morally gray; but he’s a vampire without a soul so don’t hold him to his actions too much.

- Would he write poetry about you and his feelings? Yes. Would it be awful? Maybe, but never to you if you were to read it.

- Opens doors for you, walks between you and the street, offers you his coat when it’s cold. Chivalry may just be dead after all.

- Chances are, you’ll know he likes you way before he admits it and/or the two of you end up together. He can’t help but show how obviously into you he is.

- He gets very jealous when another man is around you. He’ll blatantly insult your boyfriends, male friends, or some guy that’s hit on you.

- He plays dumb when you question him about his feelings or actions, not wanting you to catch on to how he really feels in fear of rejection.

- Everyone thinks you’re dating from the way he acts with you. He always has this pleased smile on his face after they say something in regards to your “relationship”.

- He gives you such fond loving looks, especially when you aren’t looking at him.

- Nicknames, most of them will annoy you.

- Using the excuse that he’s training you to fight/defend yourself to get close to you.

- He thinks nearly everything you do is cute. Anything that shows just how mortal and naive; compared to hundred year old immortals, is precious to him.

- He falls way too easily for your flirting. You could sound so sarcastic but he’d still just love hearing you say the words, even if he knew you weren’t serious. A part of him would still hold on to the hope that you were.

- Everyone else is aware of his feelings for you and what he’s trying to accomplish even if you aren’t. They try to get him to leave you alone but they’ll never succeed.

- He would try to use his accent to his advantage after hearing about how women like english/british men. He’d probably try to get Buffy to tell him if you happened to like accents and she’d just give him this warning look.

- Raised eyebrows and smirks are a very common method of flirting for him.

- Playing with your hair is also a common flirtation/intimidation method, whenever he can get away with it that is.

- Sometimes he would just flat out flirt and try to proposition you without any subtly. If you react negatively then he’ll just tell you to “take a joke” or undo his words by saying something rude.

- He lies awake every “night” thinking of you, he just can’t get you off his mind. His dreams are invaded by thoughts of you whenever he does manage to sleep.

- He imagines being with you all the time. Daydreams; or rather nightdreams I suppose, about a relationship with you and the idea of you loving him just as much as he loves you.

- Being around you is honestly torment for him. Not having you for himself is absolute torture. At times he’d feel as though he’d rather die than live in a world with you and he wouldn’t be afraid to tell it to your face.

- He would do anything to make you love him. Whatever change he could make, he’d make. Whatever thing he could do, he’d do. He’d go to the ends of the earth to find something, become something, that would make you want him to be yours.

“What wouldn’t a man do to be hers?”

- He insists he’s changed; that he can be good and that if you’d just give him a chance you’d see.

- He’d genuinely cry if you rejected him, especially if you did it cruelly. He loves you too much to stand it.

- How he would ultimately confess all depends on the kind of person you are or the circumstances you’re under.

- At times he would just try to kiss you instead of verbally telling you how he feels. He might have to try a few times before you realize what he’s trying to do or before he gets it right.

- Other times he would just confess. He’d tell you he loves you straight off the bat. There oftentimes isn’t a lot of debating on whats the best thing he could say to express his feelings, he just goes straight for it and moves on from there.

- And then there would be the times that he would indirectly show his feelings and finally confess with a hopeful question.

“A DATE?! YOU ARE OFF YOUR BIRD I MEAN, do you want it to be?”

- If you were silent or not keen on him liking you, he’d try to rationalize his feelings and how it isn’t strange for you to fall for each other. He’d insist there’s something between you and; more often than not, you can’t deny it.

[spaceorphan18]

Blaine Solos Ranked

With the success of the Kurt Solos Ranked, I thought I’d see if I could do Blaine’s as well.  Which has become an interesting and complicated endeavor.  

First of all - there’s the whole issue of what constitutes as a solo -- especially when he often times has an entire back up group singing along with him.  Things like the Warbler numbers I counted -- because he sings the lead in the song by himself.  Not counted are group numbers where he is featured - such as Hey Jude and This Is the New Year.  Mostly, I stuck to what Glee Wiki counts as a solo, so if you have issues, take it up with them. 

Secondly, when ranking Kurt solos, I took a lot into account of how heavily the song ties Kurt’s story.  While nearly all of Kurt’s solos tie in with his story, the Blaine solos don’t always do so.  So, mostly this is just what I think of them. 

Thirdly, the Blaine fans that I have met are, well, fairly passionate about his music, so I want to say this.  There aren’t really any bad Blaine solos.  Unlike Will and Tina, who were subjected to poor song choices, Blaine’s performances, across the board, are pretty stellar.  So, I’d like to remind everyone that this list is pretty arbitrary and based on my subjective biases.  

So going in - take the list as it is, just a fun look at how one person ranks the solos. :) 

Btw - the trivia on Glee wiki says that Blaine sings 31 solos, but I only found 29 -- do they mean the two songs added to the Warblers CD? Or am I missing a couple??

29. I’m Not Going to Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance With You (Prom Queen) 

Look at the list of Blaine solos, and arranging it to a list of things I like more than other things, this just kept sinking down and down.  The biggest reason is that I just don’t like the song.  Yup, that’s it.  Nothing exciting about that really.  But I suppose adding to that is the fact that this performance feels way more Darren than it does Blaine, and that the onscreen performance is mostly Finn and Jesse fighting over Rachel.  As I said earlier, there’s nothing /bad/ about any of Blaine’s solo, I just like all the rest more. 

28. Piano Man (Movin’ Out) 

This is a perfectly fine albeit generic rendition of this number.  So, here’s my thing about this one - when they did Piano Man in season one, not only did the song fit a bit more into context with Will and Bryan Ryan being somewhat washed up losers, there was a grittiness in not only the song but the visuals as well, and we get to do something that TV can do, which is transport us into the atmosphere of the song.  By the time Blaine gets to do this number, all of that context and TV atmosphere has been kind of washed away.  And this feels like a number that everyone would have fun singing at Darren’s piano bar because it’s a classic, and less because it has relevance to any of the story.  

Look - a lot of these numbers are fun numbers just for the heck of it, but since they had already done this one, and since this is supposed to take place of the NYADA audition, I’m marking it down.  You can do a lot with this song, and this performance, mostly, didn’t.  

27. Everybody Wants to Rule the World

This is another one where I just am not a fan of the original song, and I don’t go back to listen to it very often.  That said - it is super fun to see Blaine joining all the clubs and being super interactive in school, even if it’s tinged with the sadness that he and Kurt aren’t connecting much these days. 

26. Bills, Bills, Bills (The Sue Sylvester Shuffle) 

This one has grown on me over the years.  It is a bit random - the Warblers’ singing an impromptu (and somewhat obligatory) Destiny’s Child song for the Superbowl episode.  It has zero story resonance.  But it is hilarious to see how much furniture Darren Blaine stands on during the number.  If nothing else, the number is fun, and the Warblers look like they’re enjoying the hell out of doing it.

25. When I Get You Alone (Silly Love Songs)

This one, still, is one of the cringiest things they did on the show.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s hilariously ridiculous, and Blaine singing to a dude in The Gap about sex toys is just, well, something memorable.  It also is getting points for Kurt’s annoyed looks and Darren’s pink sunglasses.  But overall, it still makes me uncomfortable to watch. 

24. Fighter (Big Brother)

So, mostly, this just isn’t a song I like all that much.  Vocally, Blaine sounds fine on it - and does a decent job with it.  That said, I can’t take it as seriously as I’m supposed to.  There’s something I find unintentionally hilarious about this little, teenage grandpa angsting over his brother.  I know it’s got the infamous shower sequence in here - and I get it, I do.  But the fact that I can’t keep from giggling through it is why it’s a bit lower than the rest.  

23. Against All Odds (Guilty Pleasures)

First of all, I’ve always confused by the debate about this song.  It’s clearly for Sam, because Blaine’s an intense guy with intense emotions, and any song he sings for a person he has feelings for is going to be intense.  Go back and watch When I Get You Alone -- that was intense for a dude he got coffee with twice.  I love Blaine (and Darren) with a piano and his voice, and this is one of the ones that was performed live, so that’s cool.  Not my favorite Phil Collins’s number - so that’s mostly the reason for the position here.  Also not the most visually engaging.  But the song is performed well. 

22. Hopelessly Devoted to You (The Role You Were Born to Play)

I’ve never realized just how many angsty Blaine songs he has in his canon.  It’s kind of like the equivalent of Kurt crying through his solos.  He does it well, and I don’t really have any faults for this one.  It’s visually entertaining as well as sounding pretty good.  But not a favorite song of mine, and therefore just gets notched a bit lower.  

21. Last Friday Night (Pot o Gold)

I actually really like this song, even if I’ve probably heard it enough to be fine with not hearing it again for a long time.  The performance is cute - there’s a nice high energy about it (with the exception of Santana’s dower expression during the whole thing because random season 3 conflict).  However, this is kind of the height of whole Jukebox Blaine thing, where he’s trotted out to sing the hot new single of the summer, and then we just stash him away in the background to sit next to Kurt platonically until he’s needed again.  I like the song and the performance, but am frustrated by the gratuitous context.  

20. It's Not Unusual (The Purple Piano Project)

This one is flirty and high energy and Blaine looks super cute dancing on the stairs.  I don’t really have any faults for this number.  But I’m not particularly emotionally attached to it, either, so so in the middle it goes. 

19. Hey, Soul Sister (Special Education)

I unabashedly love this song - even though I feel like I’m not supposed to since it was way, way over played when it was popular.  But I do.  The performance, however, isn’t the Warblers’ best -- across the board I feel like competition numbers rarely are -- and I’d argue it’s one of Blaine’s weaker vocal performances (sorry Darren), but it’s still fun, and the arrangements for the Warbler songs have always been pretty stellar. 

18. Wanna Be Startin' Somethin' (Michael)

While the song itself is a bit strange, and while I’ve never been a huge MJ fan (sorry my dudes), I think this number is a lot of fun.  It’s visually pretty entertaining, and I love the second half where they bring in all of the different styles MJ had donned over the years.  It’s vocally pretty stagnant, so Blaine doesn’t have to do much here, but it’s about the spectacle anyway - and I enjoy what they did with it. 

17. Something’s Coming

It’s always nice to hear Blaine do a Broadway number to give us a break from the mostly pop music he sings.  While not Blaine’s strongest number vocally (he struggles just a little more on the Broadway ones), I love that he brings the stage alive when it’s just him singing.  He’s incredibly visually engaging, and what he may lack (a little) with the vocals he makes up in energy and enthusiasm, which is always a joy to watch.  Plus, there’s something particularly more attractive about early season 3 Blaine (possibly the fluffier, less gelled hair) that adds a nice touch. 

16. Not While I'm Around (Bash)

Interestingly, the studio version of this song has everyone on it, and I’m so glad they let Blaine sing it on his own - because I feel it’s much more impactful that way.  Not only is this the only real insight we get into Blaine’s head during this episode, but it’s raw and emotional (in a good way), and that adds to story unfolding on our screen.  This might be, perhaps, the shortest number on the list, but its impact is stronger than a lot of the other numbers on the list, which is why I enjoy it a lot more. 

15. Beauty School Dropout (Glease)

My favorite Broadway number that Blaine does on the show.  I kind of love that there’s a lot going on during this song.  Not only is Blaine doing an amazing Teen Angel, there’s the moment in the middle Blaine sees Kurt, and the layered look on Blaine’s face as he tries to hold it together is pretty remarkable.  It’s one of my favorite acting moments from Darren, and one of my favorite times the story of the characters is layered over a seemingly disconnected performance.  Plus, Blaine sounds fantastic on this catchy little number.  

14. Silly Love Songs (Silly Love Songs) 

This is one of those charming Warbler numbers that doubles as an ending feature that actually gives relevance to the story of the episode.  It’s cute and sweet and flirty and fun and everyone gets something interesting to do during it.  I don’t have a lot of commentary to add about it - but it’s a classic for a reason, and because of that, it deserves a higher spot on the list. 

13. You're My Best Friend (Puppet Master)

I’m not sure I fully understand the casts’ aversion to the puppets (though I’ll acknowledge that it’s probably weird to perform with a puppet of yourself).  That said, this number is kinda cool visually, and a nice break from what can be tedious choir room songs at this point in the series.  I also enjoy the song and think Blaine sounds nice on it.  Plus - Blaine totally has a backup career in children’s programming if he ever desired.  It is weird that Blaine’s singing to puppets in the first place, but I do adore this one. 

12. Don't Stop Me Now (Diva)

I enjoy that Blaine’s version of being a diva is just adding a leather jacket and pants to a number he performs exactly the same otherwise.  Again, not much to comment on here, but I love the song, and Blaine sounds great on it, and while it isn’t hugely impactful to his story, I like that it shows Blaine being the ambitious little go-getter that he is.  

11. Misery (Original Song) 

This is another one of those songs that I unironically love.  It is the most upbeat song about being miserable that I’ve ever heard, and while a lot of this song has to do with Kurt and his own mental state, has there ever been a more perfect song for Blaine? (well, yes but I’d digress if I went on about that.)  I love so much about this song, from the choreography to Blaine’s obliviousness with Kurt as the number progresses.  It’s fun and energetic and the most entertaining a subject as misery can get. 

10. Cough Syrup (On My Way) 

This might be the most controversial pick on the list, since I know for a lot of Blaine fans, this is their favorite number.  I think it validates what a lot of people had been thinking - that there’s a lot going on underneath the surface of an outwardly peppy and energetic Blaine Anderson.  And, I do like this song, and find it haunting -- it’s much different than the songs Blaine usually sings.  It’s more emotional and tortured, and it’s fascinating to watch him sing his way through it.  That said, the actual performance of this I rarely ever watch.  It’s laid over Karofsky’s suicide attempt, and I find that sequence incredibly difficult to watch.  So, while I do think a lot of the praise this song gets is completely valid, I can’t claim that it’s my favorite.  I’m giving it an obligatory spot at #10 because I do think it deserves to be acknowledged as one of Blaine’s best solos. 

9. It's Not Alright but It's Okay (Dance With Somebody)

Funny enough, as just a song, this isn’t one of my favorites.  But I love, love what this song does.  Clearly, by now I’m sure you’ve figured out, I love performances that have a lot of layers to them - and this one definitely does.  There’s a great duality going on here between the awkward sadness that Blaine actually sings in the choir room versus the controlled anger that Blaine displays during his own fantasy.  (It’s also one half of a conversation with Kurt that gets resolved when Kurt sings I Have Nothing later on.)  I love the complexity of emotion that goes on during this one, and it remains one of my favorite performances on the show.  

8. My Dark Side (Dynamic Duets) 

Yes, this song is amazing! Again, another one of those performances that has a ton packed in it -- that has the additional quality of sounding and looking fantastic.  I love that this song is entirely about Blaine, and where he is in his life.  We get more tortured Blaine, but this time it’s in a more upbeat, pop-y song that suits Blaine incredibly well.  But mostly, I love his interaction with the Warblers during it, the choreography is brilliant as they slowly start to bring him back in as their leader - and that moment where he parts them and he walks down the center reclaiming his position.  There’s a lot to unpack here, as it easily meshes with the themes of the episode - of dark vs light and of heroes not always being heroic (but worth it anyway).  I love when there’s deeper symbolism in a performance, and this has a ton of that. 

7. All of Me (The Untitled Rachel Berry Project) 

Look, it’s probably no secret that I really love Blaine (and Darren) just sitting at a piano singing.  And I really love this song in general, too.  Blaine’s last solo on the show (unfortunately!) is as tortured as many of the others on this list, but the thing that stands out for me about this one is its simplicity.  It’s just Blaine by himself, working out how he feels about his situation through song.  It’s not really meant to be heard by Kurt (or anyone else) but it’s also a shame that so rarely Blaine gets to let his real emotions be on display, which he does here.  The performance is also beautifully shot, and intentionally evocative of another infamous Blaine solo that’s a little higher on the list. 

6. Raise Your Glass (Original Song) 

This is quintessential Warblers, and quintessential performance Blaine.  This song is amazing on its own, truly.  But the Warblers bring so much warmth and joy to it -- it’s such an engaging and energetic song, I often listen to it as a pick me up.  No - this isn’t essential to Blaine’s character story, but I think it represents all the fun and ridiculousness Blaine and the Warblers arc brought to the show. 

5. Somewhere Only We Know (Born This Way) 

There’s something hauntingly beautiful about this one.  Blaine (and the Warblers) sound great on it, and it’s the beginning of Blaine having a tortured and emotional underbelly to his personality.  But more so, this song is about endings, and this is a turning point in Kurt’s and Klaine’s story as we say goodbye to Dalton and move on with the rest of Kurt’s journey.  And it’s a dialogue between Kurt and Blaine, despite the sea of people around them, things are changing between them for better and for worse and for... just growing up, and this song encapsulates that beautifully. 

4. All You Need is Love (Love, Love, Love)

Not gonna lie, this one is 100% about the context within the show.  When I first heard the song, when it was released before the episode, it was kinda like - cool, Darren’s singing a Beatles cover.  But the actual performance, the fact that this is essentially a love letter to the Klaine story, makes it one of the most precious and romantic numbers in the entire show.  Blaine pulls out all the stops for Kurt here, and I can never just watch the performance, but always continue on to the proposal as well.  It’s a beautiful performance, and a beautiful moment for Klaine and an utter highlight for the show itself. 

3. It’s Time (The New Rachel) 

Perhaps a number I’ve seen more than any other, I just love this number so much. Yes, it’s a good song.  Yes, Blaine sounds great on it.  And yes, the choreography is a ton of fun.   But it’s also Blaine, very much himself, torn between being a child and growing up.  There’s an unspoken dialogue between Kurt and Blaine during this song, about moving on from being stuck, and while this number is very childlike in it’s choreography, the subject matter is a little more mature -- being about moving on from the places your feel safe and journeying out in the world to be the person you’re supposed to be.  There’s also a duality here -- where Blaine is stuck in the childlike land of high school as Kurt moves on to college and New York.  This is another turning point in their story (as is all the songs done on these steps for these two), and I absolutely love that.  But, it shouldn’t be discounted that it is a really good song that Blaine sounds really good on -- which is why it makes it one of Blaine’s best solos. 

2. Teenage Dream Acoustic (The Break Up) 

I’m sure that no one is surprised this at the top of the list. But what I can’t stress enough is that this is, hands down, one of the best performances done on the show period.  Katy Perry’s original version of Teenage Dream is a trashy, forgettable pop song.  What Darren Criss did with it is nothing short of magical.  But then to bring this arrangement and add in his most phenomenal acting performance, even if it did break all of our hearts.  The thing I love especially about the show version (vs the studio version) is that we get to see Blaine slowly break down and become unraveled while singing it.  The performer that Blaine is starts to break down and this performance becomes an utter mess -- which makes it all the more powerful, moving, and heartbreaking.  I love everything that this number chooses to be -- from exposing Blaine’s character, to the breaking of the fairy tale romance that is Klaine, to letting it be an end of one thing while the beginning of another.  

Meanwhile, on another note, I’ve heard Darren sing this enough in his own performances that I have somewhat disassociated this version with the Klaine break up - but that doesn’t make this arrangement less powerful.  Darren took a somewhat throwaway song and made something uniquely beautiful with it -- and that’s incredibly special, too.  

1. Teenage Dream (Never Been Kissed)

I’m sure you’re gasping with surprise.  But, this is no. 1 for a reason.  While I think the acoustic version is better sounding (there’s just a tad too much auto tune here for reasons I’m unsure about), this number is the epitome of all Blaine numbers.  It’s his introduction to the show, and so much of Blaine’s character was cultivated out of this performance.  On top of that -- this performance made Kurt alive again, and it’s the beginning of a wild and beautiful story that would be the Klaine love story.  It also became a major hit for the show - thrusting the music of Glee to a height that it never really could match again.  

The scene is iconic and classic.  The song is iconic and classic.  Everything that is Blaine and the Klaine love story is wrapped up in this one.  And every time I come back to it, I can’t help but smile - which is why this one remains at the top spot for me.  

[justanotherlifeff]

I don’t think I’ve every actually seen a Tomura or Aizawa Fluff? As a asexual that shit HURTS to see them only in nsfw. So that being said, pLEasE make a fluff? 🥺👉👈

Let's end this world

The world was filled with injustice, even among the heroes. You found out this truth back when you were in your third year at UA. You were one of the top students, just after the big three, you got almost perfect scores in exams, you were what anyone would call a model hero. That was until one of your teachers got attracted to you and tried to force himself on you. There was a rule that every hero had to follow. That was, villains, no matter how strong they are, they must not be killed. Which is why, you were charged with third degree murder, since you killed a pro hero and you were 18 and old enough to be trialed as an adult. You planned your entire life to be a pro hero, which is why, you waited for justice to be served. Atleast that's how things work in the hero society right? You realised that you were wrong. No one believed you when you told them that the teacher tried to force himself on you since he had a good reputation. Honestly, you were okay with going to jail. You were never the one to break rules. However, when that certain pro hero's agency demanded that you take back your statement on him or else they would kill you before you even reached the jail, you decided that you were done. Done with being a hero because justice didn’t exist. Because you didn't want to die.

That's how you found yourself stranded in the streets, hiding from the authorities, your name plastered as wanted signs. When all hope seemed to be lost, you finally met him. You had already killed way too many people by now. A telekinesis quirk as strong as yours could be deadly after all. He found you just when you killed and robbed a man. "Oi, brat. You're (Y/N) right?" he called out. You recognised him almost immediately. Loose black hoodie, blue hair and a severed hand on his face... It was Shigaraki Tomura. "Stay the fuck away from me or else I'll fucking kill you." you growled. You were as good as a feral dog at this point. You only survived on the streets, killed, made money, lived off convenience store junk food. "Well, I had an offer that could've helped you get a decent meal and not look like shit but if you don't want it, go die in a ditch." Shigaraki told you before he started to walk away. Honestly, he just went out to get some snacks from the convenience store nearby and walked onto you killing a random guy. "Wait!" you called out, making Shigaraki stop. "What, you wanna talk now? Damn you really are some street dog aren’t you?" Shigaraki taunted you but you couldn’t bother about it now. All you needed was a good place to live and some good food. You'd do anything for it at this point. "What do you get out of this offer?" you asked him, glaring at him. "You'll join the league of villains and go on missions with us. In exchange for food, shelter and clothing, you gotta lend your powers to the league. That's pretty much it." Shigaraki drawled. Ofcourse you accepted the offer. You had nothing left to lose after all.

The world was cruel and you figured that out already. However, you had to admit, there was beauty even among the cruelty. While you killed people for a living, you couldn’t help but come to appreciate the time you spent with the other members of the league. Starting from kidnapping the Bakugou kid, each mission was fun. Toga would always stick to you as you were pretty much best friends. Honestly, she was a better friend than the people back at UA since she saved your life in multiple occations. Dabi was your other bestie since you pretty much saved his ass whenever he decided to pull pranks on your leader. Kurogiri was like a caring parent, unlike your real ones who didn't believe you back then. Spinner and Mr compress were extremely nice to you. However, the dynamic between you and Shigaraki was the most intense. You were the mom friend of the group, looking after everyone (Toga and Dabi especially) and Shigaraki found that part of you attractive. You just genuinely cared about everyone. While Shigaraki never showed it, he did his best to keep the team together and safe. You adored the way he would pretend that it's no big deal when he was pretty much keeping everyone together ever since All for one got captured. It didn’t take long for the two of you to have this strange dynamic. It started with talking more to him about not trying to kill Dabi whenever Dabi pulled a prank on him. With time, Shigaraki sat at the bar more often whenever you were there. While there wasn’t much to talk at the begining, when he asked you about your past, there sure was a lot to talk about. Eventually, the two of you would talk about literal random things, play games together, pretty much do almost everything together.

That was until one day, you acknowledged the butterflies in your stomach that only came whenever you talked to him. How you felt worried to death when he didn't come home after a mission. The League was having a financial crisis after All for one was gone and Shigaraki went on a mission alone to get enough money to restock supplies. It was supposed to be an easy mission, or so he told the group and he was supposed to be back by evening. The only problem was, he didn't come back till the next day. This event however, made you realise that you definitely didn't see Shigaraki as just a friend. Dabi went on missions like this several times and you never felt so worried. Having a talk with Toga helped you realise that you were hopelessly in love with your leader. However, you were sure that he wouldn’t return your feelings, which is why you decided to keep it to yourself.

The world was not fair and Shigaraki understood it at a very young age. In this world, nothing ever lasts. Everything decays away. His quirk was almost ironic in that sense. Everything he cared about was taken from him. To be fair, he was supposed to be stone cold by now. Which is why he was surprised by why he was remembering your face when he almost got caught during that mission. Why when he was in a near death situation, he remembered your beautiful smile. Why that made him feel all warm inside. Why? He didn’t know what to do with it. The last time he cared about someone he... No... He doesn’t want to remember that. He doesn’t want to remember the bearer of the hands that stick to him now. Coming back home to you seemed like the only thing he wanted at that moment. He knew that this wasn’t the mentality that he should be having. No, he shouldn’t be focusing on anything other than his goals. However, this just felt right. He just felt...happy. When he came back home and you hugged him and scolded him about making you worry, he was on cloud nine. You cared. More than anyone else. The others were surprised by how you weren’t immediately dusted. How he actually hugged you back. Shigaraki wasn’t an idiot. He figured out his feelings fast enough after a few internet searches. The point was, how was he going to act on it.

The world was a pitiful place to live in. Shigaraki found that out long ago. However, he didn't know that he would be in a pitiful place yet again. Struggling to keep the league going through the financial crisis was bad enough and now, he was struggling to figure out what to do with his feelings. He knew that you cared but if he told you of his feelings, would he ruin everything? Paranoia was something that never left Shigaraki and he found himself scratching his neck raw more often nowadays. You were concerned about him and the last thing he wanted to do was make you worried. The situation was downright horrible. That was until he accidentally let slip of his feelings. You were sitting with him on the roof of the dilapidated building the league was crashing at, watching the sun set. It had become a habit for the two of you spend time together like this everyday. "I'm worried about you Shiggy... Your neck is all raw... This isn't good for your health you know..." you stated, giving him an anxious look. "Sorry. Didn't mean to make you worried." Shigaraki answered, looking away at the setting sun. "Just talk to me. Even if I can't help, talking makes it feel better you know... Have I ever given you a reason to not trust me?" you asked him, trying to get him to talk. "Just drop it, (Y/N)..." Shigaraki muttered, clearly irritated by your questioning. "I'm not gonna drop it till you talk about what's wrong with you! You're hurting yourself damnit!" you raised your voice slightly. "What's wrong with me?! I'm in love with you out of nowhere! That's what's wrong!" Shigaraki raised his voice as well before realising that he literally just confessed.

The world was ambivalent. Both you and Shigaraki understood it that day. The surprised look on your face, the pink tint on your cheek, it made Shigaraki feel like he owned the world already. He'd die to see this for the rest of his life. He'd die for you. On the other hand, the look of shock, the unsure expression along with the clear devotion towards you written on Shigaraki's face made you realise that you were his for the longest time. You just didn't realise it. The world took everything from the both of you but here you are, with eachother, feeling complete, the sunset forgotten. "I... I love you too Tomura... I was afraid that you wouldn’t feel the same..." you confessed, looking away, blushing furiously. "Well, you were wrong." Shigaraki muttered, looking back at the sun that was almost gone with a smile on his chapped lips. "It's nice right? Being here together, watching the sun set even if everyone out there took everything from us... It's like giving them a huge middle finger on their face." Shiragaki scoffed, making you laugh. A moment of comfortable silence passed between the two of you before you looked at him, gave him a sweet smile and said, "Hey, Tomura, let's end this world together.". Shiragaki only looked at you and smiled as he hummed in response.

[Author's note: I don't get much opportunity to write Shigaraki since there's rarely any asks about him so I just had to write the itchy boi]

[eureka-its-zico]

Wedding Partners

Request: for the drabble game, no. 76 please jungkook ahhdsjdjk (”Please, put your penis away.”

A/N: I’m not gonna lie. This was supposed to be a drabble. Actually, the few drabble requests were meant to be drabbles but...I’m terrible. I can’t drabble to save my life. I had this idea while watching old 90’s rom com’s of weddings: The Wedding Planner, My Best Friend’s Wedding, etc., and had this idea of Jungkook and weddings. I considered writing more if you guys like it. If not, I hope you all at least these not so drabbly drabbles. Much Love, Jenn

Jungkook x Reader

Words: 3088

Weddings were awkward. 

And that was saying a lot. Especially, for a day that was capitalized to be all about joy and coming together to be connected, forever, to your supposed soulmate. From what you’d witnessed countless times, it felt more cut throat than riding off into the sunset. A day that should be about happiness was instead heavily coated in anxiety. A majority of this quiet chaos centered solely around table placement. 

“What’s the big deal about table placement?”you may ask. 

Whelp, you were a pro at this sort of explanation. Not that it was because you yourself dealt with the coming trepidation of arranging your own family or your significant others. It was centered around the fact you’d been to enough of them to read the table signs a mile away. 

The extended family tables that held the aunts and uncles that were a little...colorful. Sometimes holding the, “We’re only family by marriage,” bunch. The ones with close relatives that weren’t technically labeled the “favorites,” of the family. The grandma who might seem like she was going a wee bit senile, but really she’s just extremely opinionated and good at making you feel like you shouldn’t be having a second helping of cake. Or even the tables made on the fly to keep a recently divorced mother-of-the-bride from the father and his newly, perkier, counterpart. 

And then there was the singles table. The lucrative spot you’d find yourself in as if you’d acquired a special reservation to them. You would be sure to keep the free champagne as your plus one. Telling all the other painfully awkward (there’s that word again) single gentleman at the table you were taken by an inanimate object. Oh, how sad your life felt when you RSVP’d to these things and always wrote one. 

It felt worse knowing your friend, Jungkook would be attending. Even more so when he took his high school sweetheart to every damn event. It didn’t matter if she was bubbly and obnoxiously sweet to the point your teeth ached from the sound of her voice. She was likeable. She truly was. Unfortunately, you also had a crush on Jungkook. Or, okay, more like you were hopelessly in love with him, but it was technically the same thing. 

You’d hope after four years your foolish heart would’ve given up on him. It would’ve gotten the memo Jungkook belonged to someone else. That you would probably end up at his stupid wedding before he ever attended yours. Instead, here you were: sitting at the singles table knocking back mimosa’s and glowering to yourself. 

Your up-do already came apart at the seams with pieces of it hanging like a mini curtain in front of your pouting face. The rim of your glass sat claiming your bottom lip. Just a casual reminder it was still there if you needed it. 

The wedding of mutual friends had gone on without a hitch. The ceremony lovely and opulent (someone’s parents had good money) with the reception seeming to have a shortage of weird family or guests that attended. Besides, you. Of course. 

The oddest part coming as a shock when your eyes landed on a lone Jungkook nursing a glass of wine. You weren’t ashamed to take notice of the way his fingers enveloped the glass. How dark strands of lightly waved hair cascaded to his cheeks, but left his handsome face exposed to the room. Usually, Jungkook wore suits of color. Nothing outlandish, but he didn’t look like he was attending a funeral either. Today, he was covered in the monotone black that seemed to make him more striking. It dulled out everything around him, except the hard outline of his jaw and the exotic shape of almond eyes. 

If you weren’t so transfixed by him you’d probably would’ve noticed he was missing a certain someone at his table. That maybe that’s why he looked so damn miserable. You were getting up from your seat, drink clutched in hand, to go talk to him when Jungkook suddenly got up. 

The way his legs took a moment to right themselves told you he’d drank his fair share of cocktails this evening. His head tilted back quickly to down the rest of his glass, before moving towards the signs that read , “Restrooms.”

You weren’t about to down your whole drink and decided to take it on a little field trip. Your first step landing on the hem of your dress causing you to mutter out a bunch of swears. Your hands moving to bundle it up in unladylike fashion to move around the table. No one regarded Jungkook as he stumbled past walking like a newborn gazelle. Apparently, no one shared your sense of surprise at his current state. 

“Oh, Y/N!” Amy, the beautiful bride, shouted as she stepped in your way. Or did you step in hers? When did you step onto the dance floor? “Thank you so much for coming! You look amazing.”

You wanted to snort at her terrible attempt at a lie. It was her big day, though. She could lie all she wanted. You put on your biggest fake smile you could muster, as your eyes peered over her shoulder hunting to catch a line of sight in Jungkook’s direction. 

“You look far better than I ever would. You make a beautiful bride, Amy.”

Your compliment sent her smile soaring. Her arms quickly enveloping around you in a tight hug. When she pulled away her hand snaked around your wrist, and gave it a firm tug towards the dance floor. 

“Come dance.”

“No. No. I don’t dance,” you shouted over the music. Your head giving a swift refusal along with your words. 

“Come on, Y/N! Just a little dance!”

“I gotta go pee.”

Amy shot you a look but didn’t press you any further. You couldn’t have been more grateful. However, the brief intermission with the bride cost you valuable ground and now you had no clue where Jungkook went. 

You decided to follow his last known location towards the restrooms. Luckily, no one appeared to want to stop and talk the rest of the way there. The only actual issue was once you got to the labeled his and hers doors, you weren’t really allowed to just go in. Also, why would you? In the end, you decided to casually sip on your mimosa as you waited for Jungkook to exit the restroom. 

Unfortunately, he never did. 

After five minutes of constant waiting you were willing to consider either a stop was made for a number two moment, or he was throwing up whatever drinks he’d downed. Another five minutes rolled around and now men were coming frequently in and out of the bathroom. None of them being the one you’d been waiting for. Your presence at the bathrooms, however, gained you a lot of awkward glances. You were a devoted girl on a very devoted mission. 

You considered waiting just a bit longer when your eyes caught sight of the glass door at the end of the hallway. It’s bright green neon letters informing you it was a way out; perhaps the same one Jungkook had taken. 

Using the momentum from your shoulder pushing off the wall, you made your way towards the back door. Blurry vision struggling to make out whatever was outside of it. It looked like a whole lot of grass. It also could’ve been a well designed forest enclosure by a pool. Who really knew until you went outside. 

Your earlier drunken assumptions were both wrong, and correct. It did have grass...that was lovingly taken care of behind an intricate iron fence. What you actually walked out to was a cobblestone patio that led directly to the pool and inside that pool was the man you’d been searching for. 

You stumbled your way towards the gate and ended up struggling to try and get the latch open. All the noise you were making, metal jingling and flippant curses, didn’t seem to faze Jungkook at all, who currently resided inside the pool. His body sharing a resemblance of a starfish with his suit clinging to his skin like seaweed. The only part of him that wasn’t submerged in the water was his face and fingers. The rest of him facing up towards the midnight sky and it’s endless streak of stars. 

There seemed to be one more thing floating in the water. Your eyes unable to successfully see it even after you attempted to squint. Your fumbling fingers to undo the latch came to a quick halt as realization began to color your face. 

“Oh my god!” You gasped. “Please put your penis away.”

By the sudden way he went under; his mouth wide open in a shocked ‘O’, you could tell Jungkook didn’t expect to have any uninvited guests. His arms came flailing around at his sides, his bottom half (and penis) now submerged, and his head was bobbing up and down for air. The only conclusive thought your buzzing brain could comprehend from all of this was that Jungkook was drowning. 

Instantaneously, as the thought coursed through your brain your hand released your half emptied flute of mimosa, and your feet launched one after the other in a clumsy mess over the gate. It was a waist high gate. Nothing crazy high and something your legs could’ve easily moved over if you’d been sober. However, your knees found the ground first and you did a poor impression of a tuck and roll towards the pool. 

You probably looked like a fool. Fortunate for you, you weren’t all that worried about appearances at the moment. No. You were more worried about the love of your life re-enacting a bobbing apple inside the pool. 

“Jungkook!” You yelled. “I’m coming to save you!”

Without a thought to reason you found your feet launching you into the deep end. The water moving around to engulf you quickly the moment your feet broke through its barrier. What did come to mind when water worked its way inside your nose was this was a terrible idea. Easily made your top five list of drunken things to never repeat. 

Your dress ballooned around you like a wilting flower with your hands helplessly getting caught in its fabric. It ended up being Jungkook’s steady grab on your waist that helped you find your way back to the surface for air. The moment your face broke water you gulped in greedily for as much of it as you could get. 

“What the hell were you doing?”

“Saving you from drowning.”

“You did a terrible job,” he chuckled. 

You worked a few pieces of wet clumps of hair out of your face. It cleared your vision enough for you to realize if anyone saved somebody in this mess, it was Jungkook. He held you close to him, an arm securely wrapped around your waist. Your own legs wrapped around his core with his sweeping out underneath the both of you to keep you afloat. Nervous giggling escaped you while you continued to look around before self-consciously landing on his face. 

“I really did mess it up, huh.”

Jungkook was known to make your heart stop. This close he was the perfect description of what fairy tale princes’ were meant to be. His hair somehow kept itself stylized and perfectly shaping the cut lines of his jaw. The small fleck of his mole that hovered below his lower lip teasing you to steal a kiss. A flare of jealousy struck deep inside your gut as you noticed how the drops of water seemed to cling to his lips in greedy clumps. He was still eyeing you now; waiting to see if you would continue your half-hearted admission.But all words were lost being wrapped around him and being this close. 

All you could do was stare. 

He was slowly moving you both to the safety of the pool’s side.

“You would make an awful knight in shining armor, Y/N.”

You feigned hurt as you finally got to the first step towards the entrance to the pool. Your arms and legs reluctantly letting him go to sit beside him on the second step. Both of your bodies partly submerged just to keep the cool night air from making you shiver.

“At least I attempted a rescue. I could’ve just let you drown, you know.”

“First of all, I wasn’t drowning. I was floating.”

“And a marvelous floater you are, darling,” you replied.

Your voice heavy with playfulness that caused you both to smile at each other. His own bright like the sun and you helplessly orbited around it. As soon as it came, however, it quickly vanished and was replaced by a sadness that sent a dull ache through your chest. 

“Kook? What’s wrong?”

You placed a comforting hand on his back that he didn’t quite seem to acknowledge. His mind taking him somewhere where you weren’t beside him. Where he wasn’t in this pool sitting next to you or at this wedding. Wherever it was his thoughts took him, it was easy to see by his crumbling features that it wasn’t a good place to be. You hated seeing him appear so grief-stricken, and with no idea as to what could’ve caused it. You wanted to probe him again. Just to see if you could get something out of him when he finally turned that sadness back to you. 

“She left me.”

Jungkook spoke soft enough you weren’t sure you quite heard him the first time. You leaned in involuntarily closer to make sure when he spoke again you heard. 

“What?”

“Ji-eun!” He said more sharply this time. “She left me, Y/N. She told me she’d been seeing someone else at work. That she didn’t intend for it to happen, but it did. She said - said they were more compatible. Whatever that means.”

Your hand was back to comfort him as you struggled to find the right words to comfort him. Chastising yourself for having a small piece of you that seemed overjoyed by the news. It sucked to see him hurting. You knew he loved her; cared deeply for her. They’d been together since High School for goodness sake. However…

“I’m really sorry to hear that, Jungkook.”

Sorry didn’t seem right. It felt hollow and clumsy. It was, unfortunately, the best you could say. Jungkook didn’t seem to mind it. Any form of words to help ease the pain he felt would’ve been enough. 

“I hate weddings. I hate them even more now that I have to come alone.”

“I come alone all the time. You don’t see me complaining.”

“Yeah, well you should cause it sucks.”

His statement sent a bark of laughter from you and sent a fresh wave of water around you both as he gave a start. It only made your laugh more. You weren’t sure, but you could’ve sworn you saw a tilt of a smile. 

“I guess you’ll be joining me at the single tables for a while.”

You were aiming to tease, but instead received a heavy groan of despair.

“I have two more weddings to go to this year, Y/N. Two more! I cannot go to these alone. I just can’t.”

“Can’t or won’t?”

“Won’t.”

His answer was curt and let you know there was no way in changing his mind. Not that you honestly were going to try. Jungkook started to run his hands through the water and you wondered if he was trying to make anything out of it.

“Well, that explains why you’ve been drinking and trying to drown in the pool.”

“I did not try and drown in the pool! You jumped on me and made me sink to the bottom,” he shot back.

Your mouth dropped open with a gasp and your hand moved out to swat at his shoulder. This time his own rich chuckle filled the space around you. 

“That’s it!”

The hand that was playing in the water suddenly shot up to come together with the other. A loud clap to join his ‘A-ha!’ moment. He turned completely to face you and sent the water sloshing around in tiny waves. You didn’t pay it any mind, however, as his hands clumsily took yours and pleading eyes grabbed a hold of your face. 

“Y/N: be my plus one.”

For a split second you waited for the punchline to follow. You knew it had too. No way in his right mind would he have ever requested for you to be his partner at weddings when he could surely find someone else.

“You’re drunk.”

“I’m serious!”

“Why can’t you go alone like a normal human!”

“Okay, one human beings aren’t meant to be alone. Two, I would much rather go with one of my closest friends to these things and know I’m gonna have a good time than be miserable and alone. Come on, Y/N. Please.”

It might’ve been the puppy dog eyes. The puffy pout of lips with a mixture of how he used them that made you cave instantly. Realistically, you knew it wasn’t going to take much to get you to agree to begin with. You just needed to play hard to get. 

“Fine. I’ll be your plus one.”

His response came in him pulling you tight against his chest. Your arms now trapped at your sides as he swung you back and forth in the water. When he pressed his lips to your temple you were pretty sure you’re heart faltered for a second. 

“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you, Y/N! You’re the best.”

“Yea, yea, I’m the greatest.”

“I said best not the greatest. Let's not get too carried away here.”

You cupped your hands under the water and splashed what you could in his direction. The effect only gaining another deep chuckle that was matched by his smile. 

“By the way, did you ever put your penis back in your pants?”

Jungkook’s eyes flushed open like saucers as his hands darted down inside the water. His body turning to the side away from you, just in case you tried to look. Too bad for him, you’d already seen him out and about in all his glory. 

“Now I did.”

“You’re so gross,” you laughed, as Jungkook pulled you back out into the water. The two of you spending the rest of the night floating like starfishes in the center of the pool.

[go4blood]

you’re the one that i want - a.i.

I’m finally continuing the broadway series after 2653578 years! I’ve been having writers block, sorry about the lack of posts! This is based around Grease, y/n is Sandy, Ashton is Danny. Basically y/n is new to showbiz and Ashton shows her the ropes, friends to lovers trope, you know how we do.

2.5k words

You paced around your small apartment anxiously: it was callback day. Callback day was the most stressful time for anyone in the theatre world. Today was the day you find out if you made the cut to be apart of Grease or if you didn’t do good enough to make the director even bat an eye. You did a lot of theatre back when you lived in Chicago, but New York was different. More competitive. Thousands watching rather than a few hundred. Tourists traveling and spending hundreds on a good seat rather than some regular Chicagoans buying a ticket for twenty dollars. New York was showbiz central.

You took pride in your acting. Back in Chicago, you had countless roles you loved playing: Sally Bowles in Cabaret, Elphaba in Wicked, Zoe in Dear Evan Hansen, and more. But Chicago is way less competitive than the big apple. You knew the theatre world back home, but you didn’t know it here at all.

Your phone rang and you scrambled to pick it up and answer. You contain yourself and say a simple hello. A man's voice is on the other line. You’ve been offered another audition to further your audition process for the part of Sandy. You gladly say yes and end the conversation. You were relieved that you had another audition, but it was still terrifying. You could screw it up and lose your chance. Grease is a classic, and it has to be perfect. Callbacks were the next morning, so you went to bed early and waited for what was to come.

—

You arrived with an open mind. Around ten other girls were there. 10 girls who want to be Sandy. 10 girls who want this role just as much as you. Maybe more than you. If you were lucky you’d get a chorus member at this rate.

A tall man with light brown hair and hazel eyes walks around, greeting the girls. He has a kind smile paired with a silk red shirt and tight black pants, iced coffee in hand. You see him start to walk towards you and you’re slightly confused.

“Hey, how are you? I’m apart of the cast and could possibly end up being your Danny, and we’ll be performing some scenes together for your 2nd audition. I wanted to introduce myself, I’m Ashton.” He holds his hand out and you take it, shaking it and smiling.

“I’m y/n, it’s nice to meet you. Is this your first broadway show?”

He ponders for a moment, “This is my 5th, actually. I did stuff back in Sydney though before I came to New York. You?”

You begin to feel embarrassed. You have absolutely no broadway experience whatsoever. “This is my first broadway show… in Chicago I did stuff though. But nothing here in New York yet.”

“Well you got a callback for the lead so I think you’re in good shape, y/n.” He smiled warmly.

He was different from other actors you’ve met. Many were arrogant and were only there to do their part and leave. He cheered you on despite never meeting you. It was a pleasant surprise.

“Perhaps I am, Ashton.” He smiled and walked to a seat, and you did the same. The director handed out excerpts and began calling names. You watched some of the girls perform scenes and they were all quite impressive. You were very unsure of yourself. You kept growing more and more nervous and you didn’t know if you’d compare to everyone else.

“Y/n! Scene 11, the drive in scene.”

You stand up from your seat and take a deep breath, walking up to the stage.

Ashton cleared his throat, looking at the script then into your eyes, “Hey, you’re not with another guy, are you?”

“No, why?” Your eyes glance down at the script and back into his eyes.

Ashton acts nervous and nonchalant, “No reason… I uh wanted to ask you to take my ring.” He holds out his hand as if there’s a ring there and pretends to put it on your finger. The scene continues, and before you even have a chance to read the stage direction he kisses you. Your cheeks burn and you continue the scene, finishing it out. Ashton smiles at you and goes back to his seat as you do your singing portion of the audition to the song Hopelessly Devoted To You. You go back to your seat, wondering if what you did would be enough.

The last few girls perform and everyone is dismissed. As you put your jacket on, Ashton walks towards you with a soft smile.

“You did really good, I told you it’d be fine. You wanna maybe get lunch? There’s this place down the street you need to try if you’re gonna be a true New Yorker!”

“Sure, why not?” You walk with him to the small restaurant, talking as if you have known him your whole life.

—

“Your favorite movie is Kill Bill? I never would’ve guessed that…” Ashton was sat across from you at the sandwich shop, asking you a series of ‘get to know me’ questions.

“Uma Thurman is my girl crush,” You smirk, “what’s your favorite show?”

“Definitely Brooklyn 9-9. It isn’t deep or anything and it’s just a comedy, but it’s my happy place, what about you?”

“I love Gossip Girl… I know it’s such a girly show but I really like it.” You blush out of embarrassment, but he breaks out into a grin.

“I love Gossip Girl! I watched it with my sister all the time back home. It’s a great show.”

Surprised is an understatement. You never knew a guy could be such a softie. You smile out of relief and drink your tea as He rapid fires questions to you for the next hour.

—

You got the call the next morning. You were officially Sandy. In celebration, he’s hanging out at your apartment and he brought cheap boxed wine.

“What if I’m not cut out for broadway, Ash? What if everyone walks all over me? I don’t know anything about showbiz here in New York.” All you had in your mind was doubt.

“I’m not gonna sugarcoat it. People will be jealous. People will talk about you behind your back. Critics will rip you to shreds. But all that matters is your performance. That dumb, bald critic isn’t the one getting that paycheck and that standing ovation. It’s you. You have to give your all every night. But it’s always worth it. I’ll be with you every step of the way for this show. I’ll guide you. I’ll be like the guy in Pretty Woman! Guiding you through life…”

“Oh Ashton, I’m so lucky you’re my friend. I never thought I’d meet anyone here honestly. You really are the Edward Lewis to my Vivian Ward.” He laughs and clinks his glass with yours.

“First rehearsal is gonna be splendid, darling.”

—

The first rehearsal began at 7:30 am sharp. The first priority was choreography of “Summer Nights”. You met the girls playing Frenchy and Rizzo, and they were very welcoming. Now whoever was playing Jan, however, was a bit snarky. She didn’t even give you a simple hello. You decided to think nothing of it and just go on with rehearsal.

The tech crew brought out some makeshift temporary bleachers for the choreography and everyone got to work. The T Birds and Ashton went to the other side of the stage where the women were all to the other side. You held your music in hand and began your first note while also mirroring the choreographers directions. All was going well until you accidentally stepped on Jan’s foot, causing her to glare at you and yell, “Watch it!”.

You were taken aback. Everyone stopped suddenly and the pianist came to an abrupt halt.

“I’m so sorry-“ you started to say, but was interrupted immediately.

“Maybe you should know what you’re doing if you’re going to be the lead, or were you not aware that you should actually have some experience?”

You mumble barely loud enough for anyone to hear, “I won’t do it again…”

Rehearsal continued, and the room was tense for the remainder of the choreography portion.

“Alright everyone take 5!” The director's voice loudly remarked. Before you knew it, Ashton was walking towards you. His hair was a bit of a mess and his sleeves were rolled up.

“So how was your first choreography session, Sandy?” He grinned, taking a long drink from his water bottle.

You weren’t sure if you should tell him you actually were on the brink of tears. It was way too early to already have complaints, but you were sure that that one girl already hated you and you didn’t even know why.

“It was great, amazing.” You forced a smile and he broke out into a grin. You just couldn’t tell him you were already upset.

“I knew you’d be amazing! I told you it wouldn’t be so bad. We’re doing a run through of the song with everyone next. I’ll get to see you rock it.” He smiled and walked back towards the guys. You sighed, walking back to the group of girls. This would be a long 3 months of rehearsal.

—

You opened the door to your studio apartment and collapsed on the bed, burying your face in your pillow. Then the tears came. You couldn’t believe how upset you were. You didn’t think it would bother you as much as it did, but you felt like you already blew the role of your dreams. You decided to call Ashton, hoping he could lift your spirits.

“Hey y/n, what’s up?” He had his usual cheery tone of voice and you already felt better.

“I know I said rehearsal was great, but the girl playing Jan was really terrible and hurt my feelings really bad and maybe she’s right maybe I don’t have what it takes, Ash. What if she’s right?” At that point you were crying even more. You didn’t expect to cry even more, but it was happening.

“Woah woah woah. The real Sandy Olsson would never take anyone else’s shit. Y/n, you’re one of the most talented people I’ve ever met. You’ve forced me to come over now. I’m gonna make you feel better. Leave the door unlocked and just be expecting me.” He hung up before you could even argue. But you were glad you didn’t have a chance to argue.

—

About an hour passed and your door opened. Ashton walked in, closing the door behind him. He had 2 pints of Ben and Jerry’s and two 4 packs of Smirnoff in his arms. He kicked the door closed gently and sat at the foot of your bed.

“There’s my favorite broadway sensation.” You mumble from under your covers, grinning when you lock eyes.

“Here I am!” He smiled, handing you a pint of ice cream and a plastic spoon, “I also have alcohol.”

You smile, opening the ice cream and wrapping your arms around him, “Thank you for coming here… I hope I didn’t interrupt anything.”

“Well I was planning world domination but I’ll get back to that.”

You laugh mad shake your head, “Well… let’s watch Gossip Girl and get drunk then, shall we?”

“We shall.”

—

“She’s just jealous that you’re the lead! Did you see her callback performance for Sandy? It was so half assed! You definitely were the best.” Ashton was on his third drink and there was no hiding it. He was slurring all of his words and laughing at every little thing. You found it adorable.

“You’re just saying that to make me feel better.” A blush crept across your cheeks and you looked down at your cup.

With his hand, he pushed your head up from your chin, “I’m not blind, i know a good actress when I see one, silly. Also, it’s cute when you blush,” He smirked when you blushed even more, “I mean if you want we can practice scenes together outside of rehearsal. We could now! I have my script in my bag…”

Before you could even begin to say no, he was already reading out one of his lines.

“I really like you, Sandy.”

You sigh and grab your script, opening to the right page and sitting across from him on your bed, “Danny, take it easy! What are you trying to do?” You glance down at the book, seeing what his next line is and look back up.

“Can I try something out?”

“Um, that’s not your line Ash-“

His hand comes up to your cheek and before you know it, his lips are on yours. Taken aback, your eyes widen, but then slowly close. You wrap your arms around his neck and twirl the hair at the nape of his neck around your finger and his hands grip your waist. He pulls away and you catch your breath. He smiles at you, “But you enjoyed it, didn’t you?”

“Shut up.”

“That’s a yes I take it.”

You weren’t sure if it was the alcohol talking, but you were sure that you were falling. Hard.

—

“You’re the one that I want, you are the one I want, ooo ooo ooo honey…”

Everyone had gotten down the choreography to this scene, so everyone was just doing a run through without instruction. Before rehearsal even started, you talked to Ashton as usual. He didn’t even mention the night before. Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe it was for the best. Some friendships need to stay friendships. And that was fine, but a part of you didn’t want that to be true. But what could you do? You never mentioned it again. You decided it was for the best.

-

Countless deli lunches together passed, dozens of coffee runs continued, about 100 more rehearsals occurred, months passed and the day came. Opening night. It was a full house.

You were in your dressing room, finishing up your makeup. A knock took you out of your trance, and you told them to come in.

Ashton came through the door, “Opening night! Are you ready?” He sat on the couch in the dressing room, wearing a tight white shirt and leather jacket, hair slicked back. He looked so good that it physically hurt.

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” You weakly smile, “ya know I heard Rizzo has a thing for you.”

“Too bad she’s not my type… I’m into girls named Sandy.”

“Haha very funny, Ash, I mean like in real life.”

“Yeah so do I. A wise man once said, ‘you’re the one that I want, you are the one I want, ooo ooo ooo honey.” You laugh, and look into his eyes.

He’s not drunk right now. He’s sober. He is in your dressing room, telling you he is into you.

“Break a leg, Sandy.” And then he kisses you. And this time you know it isn’t the alcohol talking.

Summer loving. Happened so fast.

[allthingskiszka]

My Favorite Asshole Pt.4

This is a Jake Kiszka x reader story but will involve the others.

This will be a multiple part story and pretty lengthy, I also may be slow to upload because my work schedule is pretty crazy. with that being said here we go!!! (p.s sorry about any errors I will proof-read but may miss something)

Word Count: +1,700

Part One  |  Part Two |  Part Three

As the bell rang you and Ronnie walked to the auditorium making your way to tryouts, as you got to the door Ronnie said

“You’re going to kill it, I’ll be in the library waiting to hear the results.” she said with a sweet smile

“Thanks, Ronnie” you said taking in a deep breath as you walked through the door

For some reason, you were extremely nervous as you walked in you noticed there were a lot of girls waiting to try-out as well. You didn’t see the boys so you took a seat towards the back by yourself you put in your earbuds listening to “Hopelessly devoted” preparing. right before you put your left earbud you heard a booming laugh coming through the doors you immediately knew it was Josh who was followed by Sam, and Jake. All the girls turned and looked in the direction of the boys, that’s when you realized all the girls there were there for one reason...the boys. You just shook your head you looked in the direction of the three and they were clearly scanning the crowd for someone you noticed there faces started to drop until Sam noticed you, he started walking in your direction.

“Well well well, look who it is, Songbird in the flesh” Sam said with a smile

“We were worried you weren’t here” Josh said with a soft smile

“y/l/n, you know what the funniest thing is, all these girls think they are gonna be Sandy” Jake said with a smirk as he sat next to you.

“You guys know what’s even funnier, all these girls are here because they have the hots for you all. If looks could kill I’d be dead 20 times over right now” you said with a laugh taking out your earbud.

“What no they’re not.” Sam said with a wired tone

“Wow guys are so blind I swear, they are legit drooling. Is Danny trying out?”

“We can’t help it we are so good looking, and nope, it isn’t his scene” Josh said

You guys were interrupted by Mrs.Jones she handed Sam a sign-up sheet

“Alright everyone listen up there is a sign-up sheet being passed around, Starting in the back of the room. That is the order we’ll try-out in, once you try-out you can either wait in here or in the hall please wait until no one is singing to exit the room. Sam you want to come up and sing for us”

“Sure thing Mrs.Jones” Sam boomed you just rolled your eyes and giggled a bit. Sam got up there and sand his heart out, he then went through the prepared script he did great. When he got done some girl waved him over he walked over to her to have a conversation. Josh was next as he made his way to the stage, you could feel your nerves you started bouncing you knee as Josh started to sing. he was halfway through the song as you felt Jake’s hand grab your knee he leaned over and whispered

“What happened to the annoying confident girl from yesterday?”

“I was confident till an asshole told me I sucked, and until I saw all these girls”

“You do suck, but you’re more talented than these girls” he smirked and let go of your knee

“Wow thanks Jake, real confident boost” you just shook your head and brought your attention back to Josh as he finished it was Jakes turn he stood up and looked at you

“Hey y/l/n, try not to zone out on anything, I can’t deal with you looking at me like a piece of meat” you just rolled your eyes and sent a middle finger in his direction. as Jake made his way to the stage Sam found his way back to you and sat down. 

“Songbird I figured it out”

“Figured what out dork?”

“You have the hots for Jake... He’s your type” as these words left his mouth you felt sick, and immediately shook your head no. While you liked Jake, Sam couldn’t know.

“Your so stupid Sam, I do not”

“Wow Songbird you’re really lying to yourself...and me”

“Shut-up, I’m trying to pay attention”

“Yeah because Jakes on stage” you roll your eyes and try to keep the heat from rising to your face

“Sam you’re annoying”

“Don’t worry y/n, I got this”

“Sam you better not do anything, I will kill you”

“So you do” Sam said a little too loud your head snapped in his direction along with half the people in the room Mrs.jones looked and your direct and told you guys to keep it down. Jake finished and it was your turn as you walked up to the stage your nerves slowly vanished the first note rung out and you gave it your all, once the song came to an end you looked at Mrs.Jones who had a smile ear to ear you looked to the back of the room and Sam and Josh were giving up a thumbs up. There was no Jake, you felt your face fall a little but you recovered quickly your thoughts were quickly interrupted by a cough coming from the corner of the stage you look in that direction and there was Jake with a smirk looking right at you. You just shook your head with a little smile and focused back on the task at hand. You read your lines so relieved that it was over, and you nailed it. As you walked back to your seat you stuck around for a few more people to try-out you decided to go to the library with Ronnie, you let the boys know and told them to text you towards the end of the tryouts. You walked into the library and sat next to Ronnie and pulled out your homework deciding to get a headstart for over the weekend. you guys made small talk for the next hour until you got a text from Sam that the results were about to be announced. You and Ronnie packed up your stuff and made your way back to the auditorium you guys walked in and sat next to the boys who had required some female attention after you left. They looked kind of relieved to see you and Ronnie Jake moved his bookbag off the chair next to him for you, as Josh did the same for Ronnie.

“So how did it go?” Ronnie asked the boys

they all answered saying it went great one of the girls nearby jumped in our conversation and said she was almost 100% positive she got the part of Sandy Jake looked at me with a smirk and rolled his eyes, you gave a little laugh and hit his arm you could feel eyes watching you. You looked up at Sam who was giving you a funny look and raised his eyebrows, you just grew quiet and shook your head. Josh told you that no matter what happened we were celebrating at there house tonight and invited everyone standing around jake seemed kinda annoyed 

“Actually Josh can we maybe celebrate tomorrow so I can have a relaxing Friday?” Jake asked in a serious tone

“Yeah I agree with Jake, it’s been a long day” Ronnie added with a concern in her voice knowing that Jake did just break up with his girlfriend.

Josh Nodded “ Tomorrow sounds great” he boomed

With that Mrs.Jones came out to the stage to read the results 

“Okay everyone quiet down, I’m gonna read the results now. Everyone who auditioned today should be very proud of themselves even if you don’t get the part you wanted this year, we could still use your help with running and setting up for the play. Once I call your name please make your way up to the front of the stage if your name isn’t called and you would like to help with the production stick around I’ll be passing out a signup sheet. If you're not interested in helping out then please exit the room and thanks for trying out.”

as Mrs.Jones read down the list you heard Sam and Josh get called to be supporting actors and as Mrs.Jones came to the last three parts Frenchy, Sandy, and Danny.

“okay and for the role of Frenchy we have Maddison, Finally our two leads for this year product of grease will be y/n and Jake, Congrats everyone it’s been one heck of a tryout day”

You froze when she said your name, you were in shock you couldn’t stand that was until Jake stood up next to you and shook your shoulder breaking you for your state of disbelief. “Earth to y/l/n, we need to go to the stage, you got the part, dork” Jake said pointing up to the stage “Oh yeah, sorry I zoned” 

“Hmmm interesting I’m not standing up there yet” he said licking his lips

“I’m never gonna live that down am I Jake” you said as you rolled your eyes and laughed 

“Negative y/l/n” he said with a laugh. as you guys made your way up to the stage everyone congratulated you. Mrs.Jones told you all we would on Monday after school, but for now to go enjoy the weekend. everyone got up to leave and Ronnie asked if you wanted to stay the night at her place then you guys could get ready for the party tomorrow, she said Josh could swing by your place so you could grab some stuff.

“Yeah sounds great”

“Cool, Songbird we just have one question”

“What's that Sam?”

“How do you feel about horror movies, because it looks like the perfect night to have a marathon”

“I love horror as long as I have a blanket” you said laughing

“We totally have blankets, and plenty of strong men to protect you” Sam said shooting a wink in your direction

“Sam how many times do I have to tell you, you're a boy, not a man. Also, no chance in hell am I sitting next to you” you sent back and everyone laughed including Sam

“Great, you can sit next to Jake” he whispered so you could hear you felt the heat rise to your face. As you thought about the opportunity you would have in a couple of hours.

~To Be Continued~

Sorry, I got this up a little late I was a lot busier than expected this week. I’m gonna try to upload twice a week, but we will see. I also want to open request so let me know if you have any!! Thanks

Tags @captainxmoony @lunautica13 @cheeseedreams47 @in-fucking-deed

[mst3kproject]

Dawn of the Mummy

Like Horrors of Spider Island, this is a movie predicated on putting a bunch of attractive women in a dangerous situation so that we can watch them run around and scream, and like Devil Fish, they’re all Italian but we’re not supposed to notice.  The director, Frank Agrama, is best known for the Robotech movies, and most of the actors were never in anything else (one of them did play a victim in Bloodsucking Freaks), so it can fairly be said to star nobody and feature nothing.  Boy, it sucks.

Long ago, the evil Pharaoh Sefreman rode around Egypt being an utter bastard because he was a god incarnate and he could do that. He wanted to continue doing it after his death, too, so a priestess puts a curse on his tomb – if his treasure is ever stolen, Sefreman and his armies will rise and kill!

Thousands of years later, a bunch of robbers blast the tomb open despite the dire warnings of the wicked queen from Snow White.  It’s not them who end up angering the mummy, however, it’s a bunch of models and their photographer, who decide that an undiscovered tomb is the perfect place to hold an impromptu photoshoot.  After way too much pointless dithering, Sefreman makes with the rising and killing, culminating in a full-on zombie feeding frenzy.

The leader of the three robbers is a guy named Rick.  It’s been a while since we had a Rick.  The actor playing him, Barry Sattles, overacts so hard in every scene that you’ll be looking for tooth marks in the rocks.  The guy who dubbed his voice is even worse.

And that’s just one tasty morsel of the delicious cheese platter that is this movie.  The ancient Egyptians dress in taffeta and gold lame.  The dubbing is atrocious.  Sefreman’s ‘treasure’ is a bunch of cheap souvenirs with a layer of gold spray paint.  People running through wide open desert can’t seem to keep ahead of slowly shuffling zombies. The music is intrusive and both it and the accents are obnoxious stereotypes – the end credits in particular are set to a cartoonified ‘Egyptiany’ piece that reminds me of the theme from Killer Klowns from Outer Space.  If I had to pick a stinger I don’t think I could do it.  I mean, there’s the wicked queen popping into shot screaming, there’s the guy getting attacked by a rat, there’s the lady wandering through the tomb wailing about how lost she is, there’s Rick screaming Sefreman’s name over and over… it’s hilarious.

There’s not much of a plot through the middle part of the film – just Sefreman and his minions wandering around eating people and horses.  Occasionally there are hints of story, like one of the models falling in love with Rick (why!?) or the photographer’s desire to be famous, but these never really amount to anything.  The climax is a total free-for-all, as zombies invade the streets of the town and crash Omar the Hookah Guy’s wedding! This is plenty amusing, but would be more so if we had a better idea what the hell was going on.

Sefreman is finally defeated by two of the models and a couple of guys from the town, who lure him into a shed full of dynamite and blow him up.  This actually isn’t a bad ending.  I’m pleased that they didn’t decide to try to turn Rick into the hero, and that the women didn’t need personality transplants in order to save the day.  After the shack blows, they squeal and jump up and down and hug each other – which is exactly what we would expect from the characters we’ve been following this entire movie.  Omar’s wedding is a fun choice of climax, since we get to see some Egyptian culture, and there’s even a sort of subplot in which it’s rather heavily implied that he’s got to marry this girl in a hurry because she’s already pregnant.

I do have many questions about the old woman I’ve been referring to as the wicked queen.  How does she know where Sefreman’s tomb is when supposedly everybody who did know was killed?  She’s played by the same actress as the high priestess who sealed him up – is she supposed to be a descendant?  Maybe even the same person, immortal for some reason?  Why does Sefreman kill her when she immediately swears her devotion to him? Why does she talk about Sefreman ‘reclaiming his kingdom’ when that was never mentioned in the curse?  All the curse was supposed to do was keep his treasure safe.  The best I can say about her is that she’s slightly more explicable and relevant than the pet shop hobo from Hellraiser… but that’s a low bar.

So what is this movie about, besides the obvious ‘mummy killing women’ level?  I don’t think it’s really meant to be about anything.  Dawn of the Mummy is just a monster movie, but it carries with it a certain amount of baggage from its genre. Mummy movies in general are about the West’s unease with archaeology.

Archaeologists dig up all kinds of things, of course, but tombs are a major subset, because the dead bodies of our ancestors are a wealth of information about how they lived.  Modern science can tell where people grew up, what their diet was like, what diseases they suffered from, the colour of their hair and eyes, and all kinds of other things… but there’s still the fact that you have to dig up somebody’s dead body to get there.  Some people are okay with the idea that their mortal remains might be a subject of study in centuries to come.  Other people are not.

The Egyptians would almost certainly have been horrified by what has become of their dead.  Mummies were meant to remain in their tombs for all eternity so that the souls of the departed would have a home, with their grave goods to take care of them.  A mummy in a museum, separated from its context, means a soul that is alone and penniless in a foreign place.  If they could have put curses and booby-traps in their tombs to prevent this, they would have.  What does that mean for archaeologists?  Do we have the right to disrespect these people’s wishes, just because they’ve been dead for a really long time?

Archaeologists will frequently lament the fact that their profession is also basically destructive – once you’ve dug something up and taken it apart, it will never be pristine again.  Modern archaeology takes great care to preserve as much as possible so that people in the future, who will presumably have better techniques, can still learn something, too.  Dawn of the Mummy sort of deals with this, as we see two groups of people who have no interest in preserving what they’ve found. Rick and his friends blow holes in it looking for a treasure chamber, and the models are in their own way nearly as destructive.

Dawn of the Mummy devotes significant attention to the fact that light is damaging to artefacts.  Mummies on display in museums are always under dim light, because bright light will degrade the wrappings and tissues that have spent millennia in darkness. But the first thing the photographers do is set up a bunch of bright lights, and we see shots of icky blue fluid bubbling out of the mummy’s wrappings where this hits it.  I wondered if this is supposed to be what activates the curse – since the title is Dawn of the Mummy, maybe the magic mistakes it for sunlight falling on him?  If so, the writing should have taken care of that I wouldn’t have to sit and figure it out.

The models also touch everything they come across, leaning on walls and statues covered with thousand-year-old paint, getting makeup all over everything and probably sweat, too, as they constantly complain about how hot it is in there. The movie never entertains the possibility of actual archaeologists finding Sefreman’s tomb, but any who did would find it hopelessly compromised.

Mummy movies are also about imperialism, which is inextricably tied to archaeology.  Modern Egyptology in particular began when Napoleon’s troops raided the country for stuff they thought was pretty, and as I discussed in my review of The Pumaman, a lot of this is still kicking around in museums, private collections, and garage sales, with no provenance or context.  Archaeology derives from treasure-hunting, embodied in Rick – he’s not here for knowledge, he’s here for wealth.  The models are not really any different.  They want images of this exotic place that will please their audience, without much caring about the context behind them.

The mummy, with his magical powers and undead army, is a punishment for this greed, and represents the west’s constant fear that conquered peoples will fight back.  You see this in those facebook graphs talking about how white people will become a minority in America unless we make abortion illegal.  Why should that be a problem?  Because we’re afraid we will be treated as we have treated others. Sefreman’s magic is completely unknown to the Americans and they have no defense against it.

Of course, none of this is actually relevant in Dawn of the Mummy.  These themes are inherent in the premise, but they’re not part of the story this particular movie is telling.  The result, with its Styrofoam tomb art and ostentatious overacting, is great to make fun of but impossible to take seriously – perfect material for some do-it yourself MST3K.

[midnight-musings-blog]

another example of a fanfic scene

Here is Mercurio making an appearance for you Mercurio fans. Somewhat still in a raw early draft form, so when it appears will probably be fleshed out some more. Also, I have included his pet cat - whose name I have from @themanonthecouch. thanks.

She arrived at Mercurio’s apartment soon afterwards. ‘’Hello. Mercurio?’’

‘’Yeah. I would say it’s nice to see you again, but ah, given the circumstances,’’ he opened the door wider letting her enter. A quick cautionary glance outside before closing the door again. ‘’I was kinda hopin’ not to see you again. But to be honest, I had a feelin’ that this would happen.’’

‘’What makes you say that?’’ She furrowed her brow.

‘’Well, I dunno,’’ he shrugged, ‘’just felt likely. It was odd that he took you in in the first place, so I wondered if… ah, well, never mind.’’

‘’What makes you say you ‘hoped not to see me again’?’’

He snorted, ‘’since you’re here I think you know pretty damn well why, so don’t play dumb. You don’t strike me as a stupid, so don’t think that I’ll just think you are because you’re a girl.’’ He gave her a slight smile, ‘’anyway. I’m sorry. This is probably a lot to take in for you. And, to be honest, you don’t seem too streetwise.’’ He looked at the girl, a certain naiveté and inexperienced girl-next-door vibe about her. Quite fresh-faced; wide-eyed still. Not experienced in the ways of the world, or of anything clandestine as he was, most likely. Appearances could be deceiving of course, but she struck him as someone not only green in vampire’s shadowy world, but in that of life in general. She was still standing still in the middle of the floor, looking at him expectantly. ‘’Well, you better come through. This way.’’ He led her through to the living area. He’d taken her coat and hung it up for her. ‘’You can sit if you like. Probably more comfortable. I’ve got quite a bit to fill you in on. And I’ll bet you’ve got plenty of questions.’’

‘’Well, he told me some things.’’

‘’Yeah, but I know that LaCroix is… not exactly,’’ he made a face as if he was reaching for the right phrase, ‘’not exactly the easiest to talk with. And he might not have told you everything.’’

‘’No. I mean… he was quite affable before,’’ she reflected. LaCroix had a charm about him, even though his demeanour was brittle and demanding. ‘’but, knowing what he is,’’ she bit her lip, ‘’well I… I just feel uneasy with him now.’’

‘’Yeah. That will have been a shock. I know, I get it.’’

‘’I don’t know how he is. What to expect of him,’’ she said, ‘’I know he sent me to you to instruct me how to er,’’ she grimaced, ‘’’make myself useful to him’. And, how all this ‘Kindred society’ works - what’s expected of me. But, I don’t… can’t you tell me how he is? Some honesty, without the, well, ‘corporate spiel’ I guess? Some insight to all this?’’

‘’Well, maybe the first thing I should say is that my loyalty to him is written in blood so my opinion of the guy’s moot.’’

She looked confused. ‘’what do you mean?’’

‘’You’ll find out.’’ 

‘’That’s not an answer.’’

‘’LaCroix told me that he’d took you on as a new ghoul of his - that’s why he sent you here.’’

‘’Yes.’’ She admitted unwillingly.

‘’Right. Ok, when I say my loyalty is written in blood I’m not talkin’ figuratively… and it won’t be long before you understand this better than I can tell you it.’’

She stared at him. She’d had an feeling of unease as soon as she first learnt of it. She knew that she must avoid becoming hopelessly devoted to the vampire, for her own sake. For the sake of her sanity and independence of mind. But Mercurio’s words landed like a thud to her. ‘’So, you cannot - will not - say anything against him then? He had me drink his blood. So… I’m stuck with him now am I? He told me that I’d have to ‘serve’ him. There’s no choice then?’’

‘’No. but, you won’t want to go against him - the blood makes you attached,’’ Mercurio admitted, swallowing. He felt bad for her. Maybe it was old-fashioned of him, but seeing an innocent young woman - young enough to be his daughter in fact - made him feel protective. He could not act in defiance towards LaCroix, given that he had been fully bound to the Ventrue for many, many years, but he was still capable of feeling uneasy. Why do this to her? She must have something to offer. Unless he’d done it just to be cruel, which wasn’t beyond belief. But LaCroix was a pragmatic operator, and wouldn’t invest his blood simply for the hell of it. He was demanding, but he was not usually vindictive for the sake of being so.

‘’Oh my god. So I’m a fucking vampire’s slave.’’

’’It’s not completely hopeless. Don’t get scared,’’ he said with a sort of fatalism in his mind such that the words didn’t fully match his thoughts or the reality. ‘’What you need to learn is that you’re in a pretty precarious position - potentially anyway. It’s what you make of it though. If you keep your head down - keep being useful and reliable - make a niche for yourself - you’ll do ok. LaCroix is a demanding guy - which you’ve probably figured by now anyways. But he’s not the worst - trust me. Just don’t antagonise him too much, and he’s quite reasonable - to a point. He is the boss though - our master actually if you wanna be pedantic about it.’’

A dreadful image of Dwight Frye, all crazed-eyed and desperate, unhinged adoration, as Renfield gleefully proclaiming his complete submission to his master flashed in her mind. ‘’I don’t have to call him that all the time, surely?’’

‘’To be honest, you might do it voluntarily.’’ He could see her baulk at that. ‘’And yeah, LaCroix can be pretty pedantic about protocol, so just play along with it.’’

She took a deep breath; closed eyes. Face in hands for a moment to collect herself. ’’Ok, look. I asked him this - but I don’t expect he’s going to be completely honest since he’s got reason to convince me otherwise. And, so do you since you’ve been… serving him for a while. But… Am I going go really crazy or what?’’

‘’It happens. But, not necessarily. It depends how it’s managed. Do I seem nuts to you?’’

‘’You seem ok. Looks are deceiving though, aren’t they? And, I don’t really know you at all.’’

‘’Sure.’’ ‘’I bet you’re imagining something out of a movie aren’t you? Like, those really loopy henchmen they always have with the villains in monster films, right?’’

‘’Yeah. I was thinking like Renfield in Dracula. Much as I love the guy, the thought of ending up like Dwight Frye acts him is not something I want to be. And, frankly, he freaks me out more than Dracula in that film.’’ 

‘’Fuckin’ hell. That’s too much,’’ Mercurio laughed with a feeling of unease.

‘’I was thinking the term ‘ghoul’ couldn’t be for nothing.’’

‘’Sure. But, you don’t have to be a complete freak. And, to be honest, the vamps don’t seem to think much of those which are, so they tend not to stick around too long.’’

‘’Great.’’

‘’Well, if that helps motivate you to stay on top of it, then it’s as good a reason as any, right?’’

‘’Hmm, I suppose,’’ she sighed. 

‘’Don’t get too worried about it now anyway,’’ he said, ‘’it’s not always clear how it will turn out. And, there might be a bit of leeway. He seems to like you a bit.’’

‘’But not like me enough to respect my independence, right?’’ She said with a sternness in the eyes, almost surprising in the girl who seems to him naive, ingenue-like and shy, yet now with this sudden hint of uncommon resolve. ‘’I’d be a desperate and naive person to accept such actions as evidence of liking for me, don’t you think?’’

‘’Er, well, sure. You’re quite right,’’ he trailed off, ‘’but, you know, it’s good that you think like that. The ones who let things like that go to their head really don’t do well or last.’’

‘’Well, I hope so anyway.’’

Mercurio told her a few other things over the rest of the evening. 

A tabby cat, brown stripped in colour with a white underbelly and sock-like white furry paws, strolled crossed the floor between them and brushed up against her legs. 

‘’Oh, hello,’’ she stroked the curious cat on its head. ‘’Who is this then?’’

‘’Name’s Diana - my cat. Had her for a couple of years,’ Mercurio answered her. He reached out to stroke Diana himself; patting his lap for her to sit on him.

‘’Hmm, you seem like a cat person. We have cats at home.’’

[philanddanxreader]

A Glass of Dinner With My Wine

Hello, Love bugs!

Phil X Fem Reader

Warnings- Swears, Alcohol

Can you do one where D/P comes and picks you up from a night of drinking with your friends and needs to take care of them?-Anon

You don’t honestly remember calling him to come and get you. It was three in the morning and you were standing outside of a club with a drink and a broken shoe in hand. You had gone out with some friends for a birthday party. What started innocently enough had turned into a blackout kind of night. You had just gotten out of the bar to get a breath of fresh air and to recollect yourself when Phil had pulled up in a taxi with a bottle of water and a pair of flip-flops in hand. The two of you spotted each other pretty quickly within the crowd of other drunk people. Phil walked up to you with a smirk on his face to let you know that not only were you in trouble but that you were going to be owing him big time for this one.

“Hi, Baby! How did you? Hold on, I’m not feeling the greatest.” Phil smiled as he reached to link his arm along with yours to help take some of your weight off your not broken shoe. “Thank you. Are we goin home?” Phil nodded as he pulled you lightly through the crowd. You tried to focus on keeping up with Phil but the guy who was pissing on the statue beside the bar had caught your attention. For whatever reason, you had felt like it was your duty in that moment to be the pissing police. “Hey, shit head. How about you go piss in the bathroom like a normal guy so the whole world doesn’t have to see your micro penis?” Phil pulled you closer to him as he ducked the two of you back into the crowd so you wouldn’t get mauled by the guy who had enough muscles to fight in the MMA. Phil was relieved once he could pull the two of you were back in the taxi he came in. Once inside Phil told the drive to take the two of you back to his apartment.

“Lift your leg with the shoe,” Phil said tapping his lap to signal to put your leg on it. You did as he said. Not without a few struggles of getting your leg up that high and not flash the driver. Once up Phil started at the strap on your ankle. Pulling at the little clip before removing the shoe and letting it hit the floor beside its broken match. “How did you manage to make your leg so sticky? No first answer how you broke your shoe.” You gave a quick hiccup before trying to think back as to how you did manage to break your good dancing shoes.

“I think, I fell when I was trying to tell the DJ he should play better music.” Phil laughed as he put one of your flip flops on before dropping the one leg and signalling for the other.

“DJ’s don’t exactly love when you insult their work.” You thought about what Phil said before lifting your other leg up to his lap.

“Maybe he should do his job right. No one likes hopelessly devoted to you from Grease. Especially in a weird remix with club music over it.”  You ran a hand over your face to push your hair out of your face to find a phone number smudged along your palm. “Look, I got a number. It was from a girl who was like ten feet tall. I told her the two of you should wrestle for my heart.” Phil rolled his eyes and bit the tip of his tongue before handing you over the water. “I am not thirstly. I think I have had anough.”

“Too bad. Drink it. You will thank me in the morning. Just like you better thank me for getting out of bed at three in the morning to come and get you from the bar.” You took a small sip from the bottle before handing it back to him so you could rest your head against the window. The cool glass felt nice on your hot cheeks.

“How did you know I needed saving? Did I call you? Are we home soon?” Phil pulled you over in your seat so you could cuddle into him to try and balance you out to help with the spinning feeling.

“We will be home in five minutes Just focus on your breathing. No, you didn’t call me. You called Dan telling him not to let me know but that you didn’t know how to get home and that the girls at the bar were making you go home. I assumed you broke your shoe like you did at VidCon so I brought the flip flops. You owe Dan a big apology and maybe even a coffee for waking him up so early to listen to you try and explain what bar you were at. He tried to convince you to talk to me but you were adamite about not having me find out.” You let out a groan as you pushed your face further into Phil’s arm trying to focus on your breathing and Phil’s scent instead of the seemingly never-ending car ride. Once the car came to a stop Phil paid the most likely crazy expensive fee before coming around to your side of the taxi to help you out of the door. As you took your first step out you were beyond grateful that you were no longer in your broken heels. Phil grabbed your purse and old shoes before helping you up to the front door of his and Dan’s apartment. Phil opened the door and lead you to the elevator before you became distracted by crying girl in the lobby area. You pushed away from Phil to try and go talk to her but Phil had a death grip on your arm.

“Philip! That girl is crying. She needs a tissue. My purse. Please.”

“Y/N. Just leave her alone. No one like to be crying and then be interrupted by an intoxicated girl.” You gave Phil a look before taking your bag from him and marching towards said girl. Once in front of her, you kneeled down the set to look inside your purse for the little pack you always kept for emergencies. You found them after the third shake to your bag. You handed the girl the pack looking at her cute tear stained face. “Hi. Are you ok? I’m Y/N I might be a bit drunk but I am a good listener.” The girl looked down at you. If you weren’t intoxicated you would have probably seen how weird it is that this drunk girl is asking if she can help console a girl in the lobby of her boyfriend’s apartment. Phil stood close in case the girl took your kindness and concern as an insult and decided to start swinging.

“I am ok. My stupid boyfriend decided he didn’t want to see each other anymore. I should have seen it coming.” You gave the girl a look of pity as you pulled her into an unexpected hug. At first, she was ridged and uncomfortable but then she decided that she either needed the hug or that you wouldn’t let go until she hugged back. Once the two of you let go you looked at her with a bit of tears in your own eyes. Call it pity or the buzz you were still dealing with but you felt for the poor thing.

“Boys are the worst! He was probably a meanie and a bad lover! I think we girls should just say fuck the men and start our own civilisations. Except for Phil. I love Phil. Oh my God my manners.” You quickly stood up and pulled at Phil to come closer to the girl in the chair. “This is my boyfriend Phil. He is the best boyfriend ever. You need your own Phil. Once time we umm. Well, my brain is a little fuzzy but he is the greatest. I love him. I love you, Phil.” You said turning to him before wrapping an arm around his waist. “I’m sorry you got dumped. Maybe next time you will do good.” Phil decided to end it there and pulled you lightly on your arm to get you to follow him towards the elevator. You waved goodbye to the girl as you rubbed at your face. You were sure all of this face rubbing was causing you to look like a racoon between the makeup and the sharpie that was coming off of your palm.  

Once inside of the elevator Phil hit the fifteenth-floor button as you sat on the ground. Phil looked down to find you resting your heavy head on the wall as you closed your eyes. “Are you meditating?” You put a finger up to your lips and gave a quiet shhhh before going back to letting your head rest on the wall. Sober you knew that the floor in the elevator wasn’t all that clean. But drunk you could be sitting in mud and you still wouldn’t care. It was the best place to be in the elevator at this moment. The elevator slowed and the doors opened. You cracked an eye to only be disappointed that you weren’t on the right floor. But rather still six floors away from where you wanted to be. The couple who had walked into the elevator looked from yourself to Phil. You had already closed your eyes again so Phil gave a simple but effective answer. “Super drunk.” The couple nodded as they faced the door to continue the ride up with Phil and yourself. The elevator gave a ding signalling that you were almost home free for the evening. Phil helped you up off the floor before giving a little-embarrassed nod to the couple before helping you down the hall to his and Dan’s place. Before entering Phil turned to you and gave you back the shhhh you had given him earlier.

“Rude. I am as quiet as a mouse church.” Phil blinked a few times before pushing open the door to the apartment. It was weird to see it this early in the morning as you were usually in Phil’s bed at this time in the evening. The only light that was available was from the lamp in Phil’s room that he left on before leaving. You lead the way to Phil’s room before getting distracted by the kitchen. You had never felt as hungry as you did at this exact moment.

“Oh no, no, no, no. We are not going into the kitchen to make a bunch of noise and a mess leading to Dan waking up and reprehending the both of us.” You tried to give Phil the puppy dog eyes but it didn’t seem to be working in the pitch black of the kitchen.

“But I need food Phillllly. What if I’d thrown up?” Phil let out a breath before turning on the little light above the stove.

“When did you get sick?” You looked at Phil confused as you squinted in the small light.

“No, I haven’t. But if I do it would be because you didn’t feed me.” Phil kissed your forehead then turned around to put a piece of bread in the toaster. “That’s not exactly what I had in mine. I mean my mind.” Talking was becoming increasingly harder as it got later and later which made you frustrated.

“Mum always made me toast with butter when I would come home drunk. It seemed to help so that’s what you get. Do you want to go and change or stay here and wait with me?” You thought for a moment before wrapping both of your arms around Phil’s torso. You didn’t really want to be without him. Nor did you honestly think you could find his room alone.

Once you ate your toast and had a drink of juice you let Phil drag your sleepy ass to his room. You sat down on his bed as he went to the closet to find something for you to wear. “I just want one of your shirts. I’m hot and I don’t want to sleep in any pants.” Phil smiled as he pulled his NASA shirt out of the closet to bring to you. Phil had sat on the bed beside you helping you to unzip the dress you were wearing. You were thankful to shed not only the dress but also your bra. Phil handed you his shirt letting you pull it over your head before pulling the covers back so you could crawl into your side of the bed. Resting your head on the pillow you thought for a second before sitting up and looking at Phil who was across the room putting your dress in his laundry basket. “My legs are sticky from all the beer that got spilt on me. “Phil went over to your side of the bed to lean down and brush a strand of your hair out of your face.

“Don’t worry about it. We can do laundry tomorrow after we have a shower.” Phil kissed your cheek before walking over to his side of the bed to turn off the lamp and cuddle into your back. “Good night my drunk little girlfriend.

“Good night. Thanks for saving me.” Phil leant down to kiss your shoulder before pulling you closer as the two of you closed your eyes for the evening. Tomorrow was going to be a long day.