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gardenschedule · 5 months

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Perceptions of Paul as calculating & John's paranoia

“McCartney’s mistake, which he now admits, was to seem invulnerable. […] And yet, he says, the contrast between himself and Lennon, so assiduously cultivated by journalists, was a fabrication. “I wasn’t brilliant at school. I was trouble, just like John. I got caned practically every day, and the only exam I ever passed was Spanish. John and I weren’t black and white, although people took John, for all his aggression, to be the good guy, because he showed his warts. I’ve only just realized, after all this time, that people like to see warts. It makes them sympathetic. I’d always though that, in order to be liked, you had to be unwarty.””

Living with The Beatles’ legacy, the smears that Lennon left behind… and the battle to win my babies back, The Times Newspaper, Monday January 4, 1982.

Paul was the easiest to talk to. He had such energy and such keenness and, unlike John, enjoyed being liked, at least most of the time. I don't see this as a criticism; John himself could be very cruel about Paul's puppy dog eagerness to please. The irony was, and still is, that John's awfulness to people, his rudeness and cruelty, made people like him more, whereas Paul's genuine niceness made many people suspicious, accusing him of being calculating. Paul does look ahead, seeing what might happen, working out the effect of certain actions, but he often ends up tying himself in knots, not necessarily getting what he thought he wanted. I think there is some insecurity in Paul's nature, which makes him try so hard, work so hard. It also means he can be easily hurt by criticism, which was something that just washed over John.

Hunter Davies, Western Mail: The Beatles. (April 9th, 2004)

Even Paul’s immaculate manners could not thaw her. ‘Oh, yes, he was well-mannered–too well-mannered. He was what we call in Liverpool “talking posh” and I thought he was taking the mickey out of me. I thought “He’s a snake-charmer all right,” John’s little friend, Mr Charming. I wasn’t falling for it. After he’d gone, I said to John, “What are you doing with him? He’s younger than you… and he’s from Speke!”’ After that, when Paul appeared, she would always tell John sarcastically that his ‘little friend’ was here. ‘I used to tease John by saying “chalk and cheese”, meaning how different they were,’ she remembered, ‘and John would start hurling himself around the room like a wild dervish shouting “Chalkandcheese! Chalkandcheese!” with this stupid grin on his face.’

Philip Norman, Paul McCartney: The Life. (2016)

“He always suspected me. He accused me of scheming to buy over Northern Songs without telling him. I was thinking of something to invest in, and Peter Brown said what about Northern Songs, invest in yourself, so I bought a few shares, about 1,000 I think. John went mad, suspecting some plot. Then he bought some himself. He was always thinking I was cunning and devious. That’s my reputation, someone who’s charming, but a clever lad. “It happened the other day at Ringo’s wedding. I was saying to Cilia [Black] that I liked Bobby [her husband]. That’s all I said. Bobby’s a nice bloke. Ah, but what do you REALLY think Paul? You don’t mean that, do you, you’re getting at something? I was being absolutely straight. But she couldn’t believe it. No one ever does. They think I’m calculating all the time.

Paul and Hunter Davies, 1981

In the wake of his death you didn’t tour for most of the ‘80s. People suggested that you were scared to go on the road. Was that true? No. People speculate about anything. They always credit me with motives I haven’t even dreamed of. It’s interesting, the way they sort of perceive my life and analyse it for me. In that case, I never thought about touring much. People used to say, “Oh, it’s 10 years since you’ve toured.” I’d go, “Is it? Y’know, I’m not counting.” That’s all that was, really. I don’t know why. Maybe I didn’t fancy it.

The Q Interview, 2007

Astrid in Germany was always a bit suspicious of Paul at first, though his relationship with Stu was also bound up in this. 'It used to frighten me that someone could be so nice all the time. Which is silly. It's ridiculous to feel at home with nasty people, just because you feel that at least you know where you are with them. It's silly to be wary of nice people.'

The Beatles (Updated Edition) (Hunter Davies)

Paul is the easiest to get to know for an outsider, but in the end he is the hardest to get to know. There is a feeling that he is holding things back, that he is one jump ahead, aware of the impression he is giving. He is self-conscious, which the others are not. John doesn't care, either way, what people think. Ringo is too adult to think about such things, and George in many ways isn't conscious. He is above it all.

The Beatles (Updated Edition) (Hunter Davies)

Paul today is still the public Beatle, giving interviews at fairly regular intervals, being open and honest about himself and his past, his worries and his pleasures. Naturally, as ever, there are people who suspect his motives, putting him down for being too charming. Paul may be a bit of an actor, acting the part of Paul McCartney, the charming superstar, still loved by every mum, which can make him sound rather prissy at times, but I believe he does tell the truth about himself.

The Beatles (Updated Edition) (Hunter Davies)

“My problem is to me, I come over as this very together guy, always got his finger on top of everything: the man with no problems. School – a doddle, got all the exams. This is the sort of image of me. Actually, I had murder getting through exams, like I was saying about being on tour during my GCEs. I was like the kid who was getting the cane. Just like John was, but he [Phillip Norman] makes me the very shrewd, always-going-to-succeed guy, and John is the kind of cute, working-class hero. In actual fact though, John was just as shrewd and ambitious as I was. What does me in is he adds to this image I’ve got; I resent that, because I know I’m not that, and I know I’ve never been that.

Paul McCartney’s thoughts from 1983 on Phillip Norman’s ‘Shout!’

The funny thing is, when Apple [started], everything was laid out on the table, it’s like a Monopoly game. We saw who had what. I suddenly had more Northern Song shares than anybody, and it was like, oops, sorry. John was like, “You bastard, you’ve been buying behind my back.” John saw everything like a Harold Robbins movie, you know, which it was. He’s not incorrect. I couldn’t get over the fact that we were really involved in all this. I think to this day, he’ll not understand. I don’t think he would accept right now, my naïveté in it. I think he still suspects me of trying to take over Apple. He still suspects that when I offered the Eastmans as [managers] instead of Allen Klein, he naturally assumed that I would be taken care of better than the others, and that the Eastmans could never be moral enough to be equal in their judgment and do the Beatles’ thing rather than Paul’s thing. I think they still suspect to this day.

The point I was trying to illustrate is that it wasn’t so much John being a bastard as it was his being suspicious towards me, always being suspicious towards me. There was Northern Song shares. And I swear on any holy book you want, I know he won’t believe it, but I know for sure that I didn’t buy them with the view to— If I was really trying to do it, I could have bought an awful lot more. So it does hurt a little bit that there’s someone who still thinks, like, I’m out to get them, or that I always was. That’s one of the nice things about it— It’s a pity [I never said to John, “Fuck off, I’m not trying to do it”—and never was]. But he knows I was kind of— We were behind the scenes, and we did a few little [things] that we had to do, and our ambitions, and it was never a kind of terrifying skeletons in the closet. It was always just normal—but, uh, they …

All You Need Is Love – Peter Brown & Steven Gaines

SG: Were the other Beatles anti-Linda? PMcC: Uh, yeah. I should think so. Like we were anti-Yoko. But you know John and Yoko, you can see it now, the way to get their friendship is to do everything the way they require it. To do anything else is how to not get their friendship. This is still how it is with John and Yoko. I know that if I absolutely lie down on the ground and just do everything like they say and laugh at all their jokes and don’t expect my jokes to ever get laughed at, and don’t expect any of my opinions ever to carry any weight whatsoever, if I’m willing to do all that, then we can be friends. But if I have an opinion that differs from theirs, then I’m a sort of an enemy. And naturally, paint myself a villain with a big mustache on, because to the ends of the earth, that’s how they both see me. They’re very suspicious people [John and Yoko], and one of the things that hurt me out of the whole affair, was that we’d come all that way together, and out of either a fault in my character, or out of lack of understanding in their character, I’d still never managed to impress upon them that I wasn’t trying to screw them. I don’t think that I have to this day.

All You Need Is Love – Peter Brown & Steven Gaines

I was never out to screw him, never. He could be a maneuvering swine, which no one ever realized. Now since the death he’s became Martin Luther Lennon. But that really wasn’t him either. He wasn’t some sort of holy saint. He was still really a debunker. “For ten years together he took my songs apart. He was paranoiac about my songs. We have great screaming sessions about them.

Paul and Hunter Davies, 1981

SALEWICZ: Oh, he was presumably very paranoid. PAUL: I think so. I mean, he warned me off Yoko once. You know, “Look, this is my chick!” ’Cause he knew my reputation. I mean, we knew each other rather well. And um, I felt… I just said, “Yeah, no problem.” But I did sort of feel he ought to have known I wouldn’t, but. You know, he was going through “I’m just a jealous guy”. He was a paranoid guy. And he was into drugs. Heavy.

September, 1986 (MPL Communications, London)

Miles says, “I think Jane was always a bit irritated by John. Because he was so acerbic and difficult to get on with. And paranoid. He didn’t make life easy. I suppose it’s a sort of rapier wit, but it was usually just plain ordinary rudeness. There was nothing special about it.”

Paul McCartney profile for FAME Magazine (March 1990)

“They [Lennon & McCartney] saw each other again in 1977. The Lennons and McCartneys ate dinner together at Le Cirque, Paul’s favourite French restaurant in New York. John regretted going; it was a loathsome night. Paul and Linda blathered on and on about how perfect their lives were, how they had everything they’d ever wanted, and how they were as happy as they’d ever been. Something very paranoid suddenly occurred to John. Maybe Lorraine Boyle was spying on him for the McCartneys! He woke up the next morning still feeling disturbed; he consulted the Oracle. Swan assured him that Paul and Linda were frustrated and unsatisfied. Their marriage was in trouble, he said, predicting it would break up within the year. Lately Swan’s visions had been astonishingly accurate. Relieved, John began composing a song—a little ditty, really, that would never be released—in praise of the Oracle’s powers. But he still couldn’t understand why Paul and Linda had been together for as long as they had. There appeared to be a psychic connection between John and Paul. Every time McCartney was in town, John would hear Paul’s music in his head.”

Robert Rosen, Nowhere Man: The Final Days of John Lennon, (2000)

JOHN: […..] And he’s (Jagger) goin’ on about “he never calls. Do you think he ever calls? He never calls me. And he keeps changing his phone number all the time… And he’s hiding behind the kid.” I was hurt by it! You know… The fact that… A, I never call anybody. It’s not pride, it’s just that I never, ever have. REPORTER: Why? JOHN: I never call the other Beatles, I never call anybody. They always call me. REPORTER: Why? JOHN: Cos I’m self-involved! I’m paranoid, too. I don’t like phones… There’s nobody on this earth ever got a call from me that isn’t related, probably. Or a very old friend…

Sept 1980 – John

“Yoko was an extremist and was even more intense than John taking any idea or comment of his to the limit. If, for example, he complained about any of his fellow Beatles she would hint that that Beatle had always been an enemy implying that John should never deal with that person again. Her extreme positions fascinated John and help him take his mind off himself but when she became self-involved and paranoid herself -her paranoia usually dealt with her career, her fame and the fact that even though she had always been famous everyone conspired to keep her from getting even more famous- he had no place to turn. His insecurity about his solo career, his childhood, his relationships with the other Beatles, the way the public perceived Yoko overwhelmed him and he became more and more involved with drugs.”

May Pang, Loving John (1984)

John was lucky. He got all his hurt out. I’m a different sort of a personality. There’s still a lot inside me that’s trying to work it out. And that’s why it’s good to see that wedding-funeral bit, because I started to think, ‘Wait a minute, this is someone who’s going over the top. This is paranoia manifesting itself.’ And so my feeling is just like it was at the time, which is like, He’s my buddy, I don’t really want to do anything to hurt him, or his memory, or anything. I don’t want to hurt Yoko. But, at the same time, it doesn’t mean that I understand what went down.

Paul McCartney: An Innocent Man? (October, 1986)

Some three year later, during the making of Abbey Road, Lennon installed a twin bed in the studio so that Yoko, recuperating from a car crash, could survey proceedings and pass comment though a mike he had suspended over her. The other Beatles positioned themselves around the room as best they could. Yoko would later tell Paul that if, for any reason, he’d seemed to be standing too close to her, all hell would break loose when John got her home. Lennon, she said, was ‘very paranoid’ like that.

McCartney by Chris Sandford

But we were actually quite supportive. Not supportive enough, you know; it would have been nice to have been really supportive because then we could look back and say, “Weren’t we really terrific?” But looking back on it, I think we were okay. We were never really that mean to them. But I think a lot of the time John suspected meanness where it wasn’t really there.

Paul McCartney, interview w/ Chris Salewicz for Musician: Tug of war – Paul McCartney wants to lay his demons to rest. (October, 1986)

#the beatles #paul mccartney #john lennon #mclennon #i wonder how much of their issues were due to john suspecting paul of things that just weren't true #then again maybe paul is secretly an evil mastermind #can't put it past him

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aetlasx · 20 days

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prologue

pair: eddie munson x witch!reader

summary: Ah, memories. You journal your first day of high school, but things quickly take a turn just a few weeks later.

tw: menstruation, pad/tampons, bullying, name calling (pls lmk if there’s anything I missed)

a/n: just stick with me lol. he’ll be in the first part. Also, this is an AU!! For spooky season!! thank you so much for reading!!

*the chat font is the diary entry and it goes back to normal at the end*

August 22nd, 1983 It's been a few months since i've written in this thing. I thought it'd be a good time to start now since I finally made it to high school!

You know what that means? Four more years till I leave this shithole!! Better than five. June was actually waiting by the door when I got home, she really wanted to hear every detail of how it went. I told her about my classes, I have Jonathan in two and Nancy in several. I told her how the school and people were so different from anything I was used to. But, it doesn't take her long to find something wrong with the way I think. She started with her usual warnings and advice, all the things I need to avoid, all the mistakes I shouldn't make. I know she's just trying to protect me, but it feels like she can never have trust in her little sister.

On the other hand, at least Teddy asked if I had fun. He's always been the one who knows how to lighten the mood, especially knowing how his wife is. He asked about my teachers and any clubs that looked cool enough to join. He even asked about Jonathan and Nancy.

Jonathan was definitely not as excited as me. He's quite, but he's always been that way.I know that his mom was excited for his first day of high school, she even convinced him to bring his camera. Right now, I'm trying to convince him to join the newspaper but he just shrugs me off. And Nancy, well, although it's been one–girl is practically glow. Within just 8 hours of the school day, she was able to meet a boy. She kept gushing about him and is pretty excited for the rest of the school year here. I'm genuinely happy for her.

Before June could add her two cents, I interrupted her with how I stopped by Aunt Claudia's after school to see how Dustin's day went. He was already sprawled out on the couch, 'exhausted' from fighting with his new math teacher. It had been a bit since I had seen them, I slaved away my summer at my job so stopping by, I felt grateful that they weren't even mad. I'll have to start hanging out with him again.

Anyways, I’m determined to make the most of freshman year with my friends. I’m ready to prove that I’m more than just a product of this stupid town.

Wish me luck!!

September 16th, 1983

I think I lied. I don’t know where to start…but a four year wait is too long. I don’t know where it all went wrong but it started over the weekend.

Sometimes I’d like to think that if my mom was still around, this wouldn’t have happened. Hell, June is like my mom, why did it happen. I’m talking about mother nature’s gift. It seemed as though no on thought to inform me that a girls first period would be this chaotic.

Nance and I had a movie night planned. I hadn’t really talked to her much, only in class, because her new boy toy or whatever—Steve Harrington, was taking up most of her time. I thought this would be a good time to just catch up and gossip, I was wrong. That Friday was horrible. I ended up throwing up, getting the chills, my body ached to no end. But I was still determined to make movie night happen, especially since June and Teddy were gone for the weekend.

As I was dying on the couch, Nancy finally showed up. But to my disappointment, it was only to cancel. Her and Steve were going out on their first date. I don’t know if it was how hot I was feeling or my intestines twisting, but black spots started clouding my vision. I just remember her screaming for Steve and once I knew it, I woke up in the hospital.

What I’m about to write, I’ll say with confidentiality…probably because I’m the only one reading this. Whatever.

A period is probably normal for all females. What’s not normal is having to go to the hospital and having your best friend’s boyfriend make fun of you because the doctor called you a late bloomer. I mean, she apologized but, if I could’ve just died on that bed, I wouldn’t be here.

Even June lectured me when I interrupted her weekend getaway. The whole ride home she kept complaining and saying ‘how could I not know’ and ‘you just gave us another unnecessary bill’. Like, sorry my baby’s natural response has ruined something for you.

Fuck. That’s not even the worst part. When Monday came back around, everyone was looking at me when I walked in. I know how cliche it sounds after what had just happened but knowing how popular Harrington was and who his friends were, he had already told the whole school by now. During gym, Carol and a few other girls threw pads and tampons at me. I got called ‘Bloody Mary’ and ‘Leak Freak’ in the hallways, at lunch, and anytime anyone had the chance. I tried to stay strong, I even hoped Nancy would say something to me during class or at least when she saw me but she just looked at me with sympathetic eyes. It’s just hard to believe that a few weeks ago, everything was fine. We were making fun of our teacher, gossiping with Barb, and even went shopping but I guess things change. Now when I look at her I’m just consumed with rage.

Jonathan has been supportive, though. The evening I got out of the hospital, he had actually brought over some of my favorite snacks and listened to me cry all night. Even when the mocking was bad, he’s stuck by my side. He’s told some kids to fuck off, walks me to class, and I’m grateful, don’t get me wrong but knowing that I have to wake up and go through it again doesn’t really ease my pain.

I feel like my chances of making friends and actually joining some clubs are ruined. When I try talking to some new, they give me dirty looks. When I go to ask about different clubs, they turn me away. I’ve lost hope. Thought this was suppose to be a fresh start but I guess not.

And just to add more salt to the wound, I haven’t been able to sleep. Every time I close my eyes and drift to away, I’m met with such an unsettling environment. The atmosphere is thick, groggy, red. It’s coated in fog, but a man I’ve never seen before always walks through it. He says his name is Henry, he starts talking about my worries and pain. It’s always the same—he says he’s ‘there to help me’, he’s there to ‘take away the pain because he knows what it’s like’. I truly don’t know what has caused my subconscious to create things like this but I guess I’m just tired of feeling like shit.

I don’t even know why I bother keeping a journal around. Sometimes I feel like I won’t even be here in the future to reminisce on the shitty days like this. Why would I even? I guess it’s just easier to write these things down than having to say them out loud. I thought I’d be able to make my sister, aunt, cousin, and friends proud, but I’m starting to think I’m just not cut out for this.

Closing the diary, the blonde places it back in the shoebox you hid it in. Pushing it back under your bed, standing from the place he sat. A satisfied smirk on his face.

He’d been following your turmoil closely, knowing that this was just the turning point. Your struggles were feeding into his plans. This entry was straw that broke the camels back—your vulnerabilities, your fears, and your desperations. It was almost too easy.

“Your suffering is almost poetic,” Henry said to himself, walking out of your room, your house, determined to take action now. He planned to finally confront you, to force you to acknowledge the full extent of what your destiny could be with his help—with what he had to offer.

#eddie munson #stranger things #eddie stranger things #witch!reader #witch!au #eddie munson fic #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x reader #eddie x reader #eddie munson x you

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nijigasakilove · 7 months

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An oushi episode finally. About time we got to see his inner thoughts and what makes him tick

First, some more cute Itsuomi and Yuuki moments. “Don’t get so nervous when we’re cuddling” The way Itsuomi holds her hand and kisses her to make her feel at ease 😩. It’s gonna take a while for her to settle in to the relationship so respect to Itsu for taking things slow and making sure she’s comfortable, prioritising her feelings over his desires, opposite of Oushi.

Shin got some good advice from Kyouya. Time to put your feelings first and let Emma know how you feel. She’s fighting a losing battle with Itsuomi anyway. Hopefully he finds his happiness soon, such a kind and genuine guy for not interfering with her crush on Itsuomi for all these years.

And the moment we’ve been waiting for, Itsuomi and Oushi first meeting since Itsu and Yuuki became a couple. “Can we skip all this bullshit” lmaoooo Itsuomi cooked his dumbass. Then, seeing Itsu getting spoken to by everyone on campus had to make Oushi feel even worse. How he gonna get mad after HE approached Itsuomi tho??

Inviting Oushi out for drinks and trying to get to know him outside of his crush on Yuuki was a very mature decision by Itsuomi. Most people wouldn’t handle that nearly as well. “If you Know yourself and your enemy, you have nothing to fear” and all that jazz.

It’s interesting that Yuuki is still this little girl who’s kind of isolated from the world and needs protecting in Oushi’s mind. Sign language was a way for him to feel special because he was one of the only people who could communicate with her. Like he said, it was their “own secret code” seeing Itsuomi come in so quickly and sweep her off her feet and learn it has to cut deep, but in reality his motivations are shallow and selfish. He wants Yuuki to stay in a little bubble rather than grow.

“It wouldn’t matter when or where we met if fall for and choose Yuki anytime” Yea, hate to say it ,Oushi, but it’s over. Let it go lmao

Not the head rub lmaoo getting lil bro’d by your romantic rival is crazy. Poor dude. Made some stupid choices and needs to grow up, but that doesn’t make him a bad person. Hopefully he learns from his mistakes with Yuuki and finds someone who chooses him.

#yubisaki renren #yubisaki to renren #yubisaki #a sign of affection #sign of affection #animanga hive #animangahive #animanga #anime seasonal #seasonal anime #yuki x itsuomi #ashioki oushi #oushi

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cuttleimagines · 2 months

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𝙱𝚊𝚕𝚍𝚞𝚛'𝚜 𝙶𝚊𝚝𝚎 3 𝙲𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜: 𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝚁𝚘𝚊𝚍 𝚁𝚊𝚐𝚎

𝚆𝚑𝚘 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝚛𝚘𝚊𝚍 𝚛𝚊𝚐𝚎 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚊𝚒𝚗 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜?

Also yay! First post! <3

𝙸 𝚌𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚞𝚙 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚊 𝚊𝚝 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙸'𝚖 𝚜𝚘 𝚎𝚡𝚌𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚕𝚖𝚊𝚘𝚘

Contains: Astarion, Gale, Wyll, Shadowheart, Lae'zel, Karlach, Halsin, Minsc, Jahiera, and Minthara

BEST:

Minsc:

Minsc has literally no room for road rage and he knows it. He is by far the worst driver out of all the companions.

Not ONLY that, but he literally has a hamster therapist to bond with about the drivers around him

He’d see someone literally fucking street racing and have the most content face on

“Ah, Boo, he must be late for his appointment. I would’ve done the same in his shoes.🤷‍♂️”

Minsc is going below the speed limit all the time because honestly he’s just happy to be there.

If he ever gets hit he’ll settle for a quick conversation about trading insurances but will probably just get it fixed later and forget about it

People get mad at him but he’s so unbothered lmao

We love Minsc in this household he has the best non existent road rage.

Wyll:

Is strangely always calm at the wheel, a very courteous driver like Minsc but more softcore

waves at people to go even when he has the right of way so he gets pushed around a lot on the road lmao

The only way I can see him getting fed up is if it happens back to back and someone almost fucking kills him 😭 which is honestly the bottom of the fucking barrel

Honestly he just questions whether or not people actually USE their fucking mirrors to LOOK and SEE if anyone's there BEFORE they merge

Purposefully REFUSES to tailgate even a little bit because he can't be asked to rear end somebody because they brake-checked him.

It's very rare he ever reacts negatively at all, just kinda goes "Okay, people aren't always going to be the smartest, perhaps they're still learning."

Wyll, baby, they're driving a dingy pickup truck with a customized muffler 💀

Honestly if you ever ride passenger with this guy, you're probably gonna be getting mad FOR him because he just doesn't react to people genuinely being stupid on the road.

Overall, just a "get through it and move on" type of driver

Halsin:

If anyone's ever sitting passenger with him you're lucky because you get to fucking pass out on long car trips and not worry about whether or not mans is gonna fall asleep at the wheel or crash.

VERY good driver, probably the best out of all of the other companions

Type of person to flash at someone or wave at them if their gas door is open or something's falling off their car

Like Wyll, a pretty courteous driver, but gets a little annoyed if people don't give him the right of way when it's his turn

Does a little eyebrow quirk whenever someone cuts him off but ends up turning into an "I pity the new drivers of this generation" speech

If people are being dumb back to back he probably needs to pull over and just take a hot minute before getting back on the road

Overall, though, he tries to be civil and not let his anger get the better of him

Gale:

Is probably the funniest when it comes to the mild version of road rage

"I didn't realize turn signals were growing out of style, considering nobody seems to use them."

"Wow! Look how much progress you made!" He says to the car that sped past him only to get one car ahead in the busy lane

"The light is green, sir! You accelerate when the light turns green! A common mistake, I know!"

"Do you think this poor lad knows you yield to turn right on a red and don't wait for the light to turn green? The education system has most definitely gone downhill nowadays, let me tell you."

Talks a lot of shit and laughs while doing it, mainly just out of disbelief that, yes, people are genuinely this stupid.

If he genuinely gets upset, he's honestly more disappointed than anything else

God, he's such a fucking DAD

Pinches the bridge of his nose in annoyance when someone tries to merge in his lane when he's in their blind spot

Overall, likes to bond with his passenger over how dumb other people are but won't usually go past that point.

Isn't really bothered by other people not knowing how to drive.

Karlach:

Okay bear with me I'm aware it's strange to see the literal barbarian of the party over here but hear me out

Karlach really only rages when people are dicks to innocents and to the people who tormented her. I can't see her getting mad unless she's in the passenger seat. Then it's going down.

She's the one getting mad for Wyll whenever he's driving.

Says "yikes" before she almost gets in a collision but is one of those women who are just quiet while desperately trying not to hit the other car

A PERFECT maneuverer, gets in that motherfucking parking spot no questions asked

She's kind of an "Anyway!" type of driver whenever people are stupid on the road. She can smell bad drivers and just speeds past them.

"Nope, not dealing with your shit today. Bye!"

The only reason she's lower than Gale is because she's got some hardcore road rage but only when she's not the one driving.

Because how in the hell are you gonna make my friend's driving experience bad?? I'll kill you??

Lae'zel:

Thinks everybody sucks at driving except her

And genuinely?? She is a very good driver, knows all the rules and is very aware of her surroundings

The reason why I don’t put Lae’zel in the worst category is because normally with her road rage, she’s typically the type to deal with it and move on.

I do also think that when it comes a time that people are idiots and she needs to try and get out of it alive, she’s much like Karlach and are radio silent during near-death situations.

Please, please keep in mind that that silence is temporary, though. If anyone DARES hit her car that she paid for on the road, they’re pulling over and having a nice little chat.

Nice as in getting their dick ripped off, sure.

“Now, you’re going to tell me exactly why you thought it would be a smart idea to blind me with your headlights and expect to not get collided.”

She’s verbally tearing them limb from limb, criticizing the driving school they went to, demanding the address of the DMV that gave them their damned license.

“Whoever gave you a passing grade must have a brain hemorrhage, truly. I cannot fathom the idiocy it takes to put someone like you anywhere near a vehicle.”

WORST:

Shadowheart:

Okay, yeah, she talks shit. She'll say it to their faces, and behind their backs.

Very chill driver otherwise and is just trying to get where she's trying to go

Like Halsin, she's also fairly safe, braking in advance if she sees shit and looking at both sides of a crosswalk to make sure some fuckwad isn't gonna sprint to the other side before she drives over it.

You don't usually see her road rage due to how accommodating she is in case of dumbasses but when she does she roasts the shit out of them

Racist when it comes to car makes and their drivers lmao

"Dodge Ram drivers are all the same, I swear." She'll grumble, flashing her lights at people who don't turn off their brights at night.

Total tailgater but only when she's alone.

"It wouldn't kill you to go the damned speed limit every once and a while, you know."

Definitely thinks she's the best driver out of all the companions

Whenever she has to pull to the side of the road after someone hit her they're shitting their pants

"I'm sorry I didn't see you--" "Oh, you didn't see me? Didn't see the bright-colored car directly beside you before you merged over? Are you sure your eyes are okay to drive with?"

Jahiera:

Literally will not shut the fuck up over how terrible this new generation is at driving

Any time she gets on the freeway it looks like she's looking in 15 directions at once every three seconds

Also a very good driver but definitely not accommodative for idiots on the road.

You WILL let her merge. Definitely a horn-honker.

It's so embarrassing because she'll honk her horn at fucking everything.

Someone goes first at a stop sign when it was her turn? Honk.

Someone turns left at an unprotected light when they're supposed to wait for her? Honk.

Someone misses their exit and goes off the road even though they weren't even in front of her? HONK.

She treats it like a damn wrong button.

If a car speeds past her only to end up one car in front of her, she'll physically put her hands up in confusion and go "WHAT WAS THE POINT???"

"All these young people with so many places to go. You'd think it would kill them to stop and smell the flowers every once and a while."

Minthara:

Lord help the fucking soul that pisses off Minthara on the road.

I theorize that Minthara is a very, very aggressive driver. She is the first one to speed off when the light turns green.

She’s the motherfucker behind you on the freeway with headlights full blast because you DARED to go the speed limit for 2 seconds.

Flashes her brights quick enough to kill someone with epilepsy at the wheel whenever they accidentally leave their brights on

I feel like it’s obvious at this point but Minthara isn’t vocal in her road rage. Her actions speak enough for her.

She’ll mutter shit under her breath but honestly it just sounds like she’s putting a damn hex on them.

Likes to drive with no music like the fucking sociopath she is

If someone hits her, she’ll brake check and give them a worse-looking car. She needs to have the last say.

Which, yes, she’s just like that one guy in the tiktok who speeds after a car that hit and ran him, screaming on the mic “HE HIT ME AND TRYNA LEAVE!!! HE HIT ME AND TRYNA LEAVEEEE!”

That is Minthara.

You WILL regret driving anywhere in her vicinity.

Astarion:

Such a motherfucking chaotic driver. His road rage isn't bad in the sense of yelling behind the wheel. The lengths he goes to prove a point are what put him down here.

For example, if someone's tailgating him, he'll stop. Not a mere brake check. A stop. And he'll get rear-ended, just to get that fucking insurance money.

He prefers an untouched car, don't get me wrong, but he welcomes people to be idiots on the road.

He's also the type to drive motorcyclists off the road.

"Oh, you like to go fast? I can go fast too. Here, let me demonstrate."

Type of person to write notes on people's parked cars about how much they suck at parking

Once he wrote a fake ticket for someone who parked in his favorite spot at a particular joint he frequents.

His insurance hates him 😭

Is so petty with his road rage

If you're on his ass when he's already going 10 over, guess what? We're going 10 under now. The whole time.

Flips people off if they're lucky

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 minsc #bg3 astarion #halsin bg3 #bg3 lae'zel #astarion #halsin #bg3 companions #bg3 companions headcanons #bg3 #headcanon #bg3 gale #bg3 wyll

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sweet7simple · 2 months

Note

... can we get a happy follow-up to the dratchrod prompt where rodimus is trying to be what drift and ratchet want?

The thing is , Ratchet and Drift aren't stupid. Ratchet knows how to read a bot and Drift knows how to read auras.

(Ratchet points threateningly at Drift. "Slag. I'm calling slag."

"I can see auras," Drift insists.

"No, you can pick up emotional frequencies from whatever bot you're facing."

"Yes, that is what I said," Drift says with a serene smile. He ducks when Ratchet shakes his servo at him.)

But they also know Rodimus. They can't just go up to him and say, "Hey, you're hurting and we don't want you to hurt," because that isn't going to solve anything. It will be true, but Rodimus won't believe it. If they say, "We're here for you and we want you to be happy with us," then Rodimus will just smile and nod and say, "I know." He will be lying. He's just willing to be their pity lay if it means he gets to stay. He'll leave eventually, somehow disappearing on this ship of 200 sparks. When he deigns to be near them again, he'll treat them like distant friends. Maybe even close friends - but not lovers, not ever again.

Ratchet and Drift aren't taking those chances, so they're going to just keep sneakily chipping away at Rodimus's fears until the cycle comes where Rodimus stays with them.

It's hard work, but they're used to it and Rodimus is worth it.

They make mistakes. They're not perfect and neither is Rodimus. Sometimes Ratchet loses his temper and sometimes it's Drift and sometimes Rodimus pretends he doesn't care about why their mad right before he wanders off and no one sees him for a long time. They know Rodimus gets scared about making them mad. They're working on it.

Ratchet hates it, but he even tried out meditation. Whatever helps, right? Whatever makes Rodimus stops acting like every argument will be their last.

And Rodimus might give the best gifts and go out of his way for acts of service and quality time, but Ratchet and Drift aren't being lazy about it either!

It takes a lot of concentration to figure out what Rodimus actually loves when it comes to interfacing (wireplay, spark merging, sexual, just making out sloppy-style in a utility closet while they're on-shift, you name it) because he genuinely appears to enjoy everything they do as long as they're together. Rodimus gets uneasy when they praise him for how good he is while they're in the berth, so they steer away from that and talk about how beautiful he is (which is true and also makes Rodimus preen) and how much they want him (that gets some honest, desperate keens from their co-captain). Rodimus actually enjoys just laying there and making them do all the work, which they find wildly endearing. It just takes awhile to get Rodimus to that point since he's of the erroneous belief that he has to work hard for their affection.

He doesn't. They already love him. Despite their shared past - because of their shared past - because of Overlord and Pharma and the DJD and everything before and after - they already know who they are dealing with and they want him just as he is, just as the mech he has grown into before he started acting like venting too hard in their direction might chase them off.

They love him and he's worth it and they are oh-so slowly getting through to him.

They invite him over to their hab suite as often as possible. Sometimes, they break into his hab suite (having a medical emergency override door code can be good for a lot of things) and crawl into his berth - whether he's already there or they're waiting for him to arrive. Rodimus always gets this astounded, vulnerable look on his face when he realizes that they're willing to come to him instead of always making him come to them.

They make sure to sneak into his hab suite more often, hoarding soft tarps and thick gel cushions.

They make sure every off-shift together doesn't always include interfacing because they don't want Rodimus to believe that's all they want him for. They cuddle too, which makes Rodimus go molten and fuzzy in sweet way.

Drift shows an interest in Rodimus's art and goes racing with him down on the tracks because he wants Rodimus to know that his hobbies are important. Ratchet won't race with them, but he'll officiate when he can and he'll lie about who wins the race just to grin at them while they bicker over who's really first place.

Ratchet trades assignments, patients, and non-essential equipment with the other medics and Perceptor (surprisingly not Brainstorm, but unsurprisingly because Perceptor stocks up for Brainstorm) for sweets because Rodimus goes feral over mercury melts and oil sticks and bolt candies.

Drift is taking the crystals Rodimus finds the prettiest from his collection and braiding them into a chainlink jewelry drape meant to hang from Rodimus's spoiler.

Ratchet is proving he trusts Rodimus by talking about his chronic pain and joint locks with him, even the parts he doesn't like to talk about (and he doesn't really like to talk about any of it).

"An old mech like me was lucky enough to catch the optic of one smoking hot speedster," he admits with notes of humor, pride, and some small amount of surprise at his own luck. "Now I have you and Drift. It's a good time to be alive."

He makes sure to repeat this many times in some form or another - just how incredible it is that he gets to have Rodimus and Drift. How they're so beautiful and fit and he's falling to pieces. How he doesn't know why they keep him around, but he won't complain about their taste in old, decrepit mecha.

"Ratchet, I don't know how to tell you this, but you're literally so sexy that I get revved up just thinking about sitting on your thigh. You're built fragging thick. Thicker than the wheels on a monster truck, okay? And, besides. You're not as replaceable as you make yourself sound. You're so important to me. To us. I need you to see that."

Ratchet smiles because that's pretty much what he and Drift are trying to teach him. "Huh, I guess you're right," he says. "The three of us are our best when we're together." Rodimus sputters because he somehow feels targeted and he's not sure why. "So we're just going to have to stick together in this dimension and every other dimension we wander through. Thanks for listening to me, kid. I feel better."

"Um, you're welcome?"

It's a work in progress, but there is progress. Rodimus still sometimes chooses to stay in his own hab suite without them during their off-shift and sometimes he stares at them like they're about to flip him off and walk away, but he's slowly reverting back to the mech they fell in love with. He's letting himself make mistakes and own them instead of acting like he's about to get broken up with. He's getting pushy in the berth (which is actually adorable and very arousing) and whining at them to wash and polish his spoiler in the wash racks and he's with them more off-shifts than not.

There's this one time when they're about to slip into recharge and Rodimus says quietly, so quietly like he hopes they won't hear him, "I want to stay."

Ratchet pulls Rodimus closer and Drift nuzzles under his spoiler from behind.

"That's what we've been trying to tell you, kid," Ratchet murmurs. "You don't have to go. We're not going anywhere either. We're all staying."

"All of us," Drift adds, squeezing Rodimus's waist. "That includes you. Be home with us, Roddy. Just be home with us."

It isn't easy, but they're making progress.

At some point in the future, Rodimus will believe them. He believes them both a little bit more each cycle.

#transformers #mtmte #dratchrod #anon ask

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kooktrash · 2 years

Text

love lies | jeon jungkook [3]

summary: it’s hard for anyone to believe what you have is genuine. it doesn’t help that the last they heard was that you broke up, but it doesn’t seem to last. you’re back together and everyone is stuck sitting back waiting to see who will ruin the other first. and you both wonder the same things since neither of you could forget the past of the other.

warnings: 13.2k words. angst. smut. yandere jungkook. college student au. established couple. rich kid jungkook. f!reader. unhealthy attachment. manipulation. gaslighting. slutshaming. toxic friendships. implied emotional trauma from both ends. cunnilingus. table sex. asshole jk. jealousy. possessive. car sex. unprotected. quick.

prev | end

It’s been three days and thirteen hours since he last saw you. He’s been trying to give you space, let you see that you miss him and that you made a mistake. It’s just been so hard. So hard to check your location and wonder who you’re with. Wondering if you’ve gotten over him so fast while he’s locked himself in his home waiting for just one notification from you. If he could just know what you’re thinking, know that you’re thinking about him then he can finally try and get you back. He still can’t believe you tried to dump him just like that.

Over one simple mistake as if he hasn’t been the perfect guy for you. As if he hasn’t treated you better than any other girl he’s been with. It makes him so mad just thinking about how you left him. Like he was just some fly you were happy to get away from. Like you hadn’t asked him if he loved you while he filled your tight walls with cock. As if he didn’t have you begging for more, for him. Like he hadn’t spent the anniversary of his mother’s abandonment with his dick in your mouth while you tried making him feel better. As if he hadn’t heard the way your own mother talked to you like you were not good for anything but getting a guy. He’s been there for you since the moment the two of you got together and now you’re just throwing him away?

After you claimed to love him too? Like you hadn’t been begging for his love, ruining your friendships for him, and letting him take care of all your needs? Fuck, that pisses him off. All he can think about right now is what you’re doing that you can’t be with him. Like you’re ready to move on to the next guy and if you think you’re getting rid of him that easily—ha, the thought alone makes him laugh bitterly.

How could you claim to be a naive girl in love while jumping at the chance to drop him like you didn’t need him in the first place? Do you expect him to apologize? As if Yeonwoo hasn’t called you stupid time and time again for your poor life choices instead of guide you and be there for you? As if Taehyung wasn’t just looking to use you for sex? As if Soomin hadn’t blown up at you only to run out and follow him basically telling him why he shouldn’t be with you and reconsider her? God, you need him to help you see things clearly because right now… you’re not.

He doesn’t even know what he’s supposed to do. Though he hasn’t seen you or talked to you, he’s texted you a couple times but you haven’t responded. He’s basically at his wit’s end. He needs to see you, now.

That’s why he’s currently standing in front of the entrance you usually go through for class and he waited. He could see you walking with your head down focusing on your phone. He went for it, walking right up to you catching you off guard. You nearly dropped your phone, “What are you doing here?”

“We need to talk,” Jungkook said, reaching for your hand and looking behind at who might be around. “Jungk—“

“No Y/n, I gave you time to get over the other night so I came to see you—“

“But why here?” You sighed walking away from him thought he still held onto your wrist pulling you back into him. “Because you’ve been ignoring me and I needed to see you. What else was I supposed to do?”

“I don’t know, I just need some space,” you sighed a little worried one of your friends [who currently weren’t talking to you except Yoongi] would come out and see you. Jungkook clearly didn’t care though, “I gave you space. Can you please just see that I’m really trying here? Just talk to me.”

“Fine, but not here,” you told him and he just nodded and took you to his car. Be turned to you, “Let’s go back to my place.”

You looked out the window, “I don’t know.”

“I have something for you there,” Jungkook told you and though reluctant, you agreed. He drove you to his place which was so much bigger than yours that you sometimes get lost. He took you to the living room still yet to actually talk about anything and you still weren’t having any sort of conversation.

You looked over at him as he sat closer to one corner of the couch and you toward the other. He stared back at you, resting an elbow on the arm rest and his head on a fist. He looked at you with lazy eyes as you spoke, “So what do you want to talk about?”

He bit his lip nervously, “I can’t talk to you when you’re so far away.” You rolled your eyes trying to contain a smile choosing instead to sigh and kick your feet up on the couch, “I think we can talk fine just like this.”

Jungkook shook head as he moved to slide across the couch and pick up your legs. He put them on his lap making sure he was sitting as close as possible. His hands ran over the outside of your thigh, ignoring the fact that you were wearing a short skirt that raised witn the bend of your legs. His other arm rested on the back of the couch practically trapped you in the corner. “Do you really not want to get back together?”

You looked down at his hand that had began leaving small patterns on your thigh, resting your head on the back cushion, “I don’t know, I didn’t like what you did.”

“And I’m trying to take responsibility here and admit that I fucked up,” Jungkook said taking your hand that had been at your side and holding it on your thigh. “I shouldn’t have gone out and caused a scene. I should’ve just waited and listened to you. I know that, I really do but… but to dump me just like that? After I was finally able to tell someone we’re dating?”

“I mean I told you I would,” you said and he waited, no, hoped for more. He was still holding your hand against your thigh. You looked back at him, “I just feel like… I don’t know. You claim to love me but you clearly don’t care enough about my wishes. You’re still going to do whatever you want, so I don’t know if this is worth it.”

You know you’re vulnerable and naive and stupid when it comes to love. And it’s not always the case. You know when someone is not good for you but you also didn’t seem to care. You wanted to hold your ground with Jungkook because you wanted more, something you’re not sure of. But you know he can give it to you and he’s basically the perfect guy you’ve been searching for. You want to be with him though, even if you dumped him just days ago. You wanted him to feel anxious because you dumped him. You want him to know that if you’re going to do what he wants, he has to do what you want.

Everyone sees you as dumb in love but you saw it differently. You like to think of yourself as decently self-aware. You jump into relationships a lot. You get hurt when they end and yet you do it all over again. It’s basically ingrained into your brain since childhood to make a man happy and you never seemed to be able to do that unless you had sex. And you didn’t think Jungkook had any feelings for you when you missed the first night and he still might not but you also knew he did. So maybe because his feelings were a sure thing, and he was clearly disheveled when you dumped him, it made you more vocal about what you didn’t like.

You’re used to keeping your personality down in fear of someone not liking it that you didn’t realize how silent you’ve been. It took a lot for you to speak up to your friends or mother and boyfriends too. But since a part of you knows he’s getting serious about it whether he likes it or not, he’s letting you speak your mind. You’re telling him how you feel knowing he’s still going to love you or want you after.

The same way he knows that you don’t want him upset with you. There’s feelings there but he knows you’re probably not good for each other. He just wants you so bad, can’t you see him trying?

“Can you see things from my perspective?” He ended up asking, “I’m not making excuses, I’m just saying. I know none of them like me and honestly, rightfully so but can you please just do what you want to. Don’t think about what they have to say, think of what you want. You want me but you feel guilty about it because everyone constantly attacks you for who you date and now Soomin is putting all the blame on you. But trying to break up just like that… that’s bullshit in my opinion.”

“The first second I fuck up you’re ready to run away? Did you just expect me to want to be lowkey forever? Were you just never planning to tell anyone we’re dating.”

“It’s nobody else’s business—“ “And yet every other person you’ve been with, you’ve happily paraded them around publicly. But I’m not good enough to even admit that we’re dating?”

“Nobody said you couldn’t, but with Soomin and Yeonwoo and all of them. Why did you have t—…You know how shitty you treated Soomin. We all saw it, I saw it too and yet here I am with you. Obviously none of them are going to be happy about it. So why would I want you admitting that?”

“I don’t know what to say,” he admitted as he used his fist to rub some of the tension away from his muscles on his face. “I want to change and I want you to want to be with me, but clearly I’m the problem. I just want you to give up on me, so please. I’ll do whatever you want if you just give me one more chance.”

You think he’s just bullshitting you but you’ve never seen that sincerity in his eyes before. And like, Yeonwoo and Soomin were already mad at you. They already think you won’t leave Jungkook and honestly, if he gives you whatever you want, why would you?

“One more chance,” you pointed a finger up but he went to bite it before leaning into you for a kiss, “I love you so fucking much.”

Your lips met abruptly, a little too needy for only being apart a week. His face pressed against yours, lips moving against yours and breathing through his nose so wouldn’t need a break. His hand still clutched yours and the other was behind your head but not touching you. Your long nails dig into his cheeks as you push him back by the chin.

He looked into your eyes, breathless and already in awe with you. He tried to get a kiss again but your grip only tightened making his lips part with the press of your fingers. Fine he’ll wait, impatiently though. Your eyes looked over his surprisingly submissive face right now and the way he let you sink your fingertips in a little, “I love you too, but I’m going to need you to prove it to me instead of just repeating it.”

He nodded, head moving the side enough to catch your thumb in his mouth, “I’ll do whatever you want.” As he said those words he finally released your other hand, choosing to run his fingers toward your raised skirt. Only a few inches away from your panties as he tested the waters to see if you’d stop him, “Even if you want to use me a little.”

“Was it too long for you? I’m surprised you didn’t go find a girl to fuck,” you said before you could stop yourself. It’s that same bitter tone you used before you got involved with him. The same distaste Yeonwoo had at the club, and you had it too. It went away but you were still a little insecure. He was a womanizer and you would not be surprised at all if he slept with someone else despite all he’s told you. Maybe it’s just your trust issues or maybe it’s because you’ve seen what he thinks of girls.

Jungkook’s jaw tightened but he tried to keep his tone light as he said, “Why would I when I was waiting for my girlfriend to stop being mad at me?”

“I wasn’t your girlfriend,” you said and even you didn’t believe it. He did still text you and you wanted to respond. It has only been a week and once you got over it you were waiting for him to reach out without even knowing it. You couldn’t even classify it as a break but apparently it was agony to Jungkook. He gave you a look that said he knew you were bullshitting yourself. You both knew it was more of just an argument you had despite how heated you both had gotten. You said some hard truths to each other and yet you’re both ready to start again. For a first fight it was tense but it didn’t seem to bother either of you that much.

Jungkook just kissed you again, catching you off guard but you managed to kiss back in time.

There were eyes on you, each telling something different and yet you couldn’t read any of it. You had to force yourself to ignore how awkward this felt, and of course Jungkook didn’t feel the same at all. He was pretty relaxed with his arm around your waist as he drank to his heart’s content with his friends. Jimin had a smirk on his face, “Y/n, you look really familiar. Have I seen you somewhere before?”

“You already know so why ask,” Jungkook cut in immediately, “And drop it if you know what’s good for you.”

“Very scary Kooky,” Jimin chuckled before looking back to you, “I didn’t know it was a sensitive topic. Are you still friends with that chick?”

“It’s complicated,” you answered truthfully. It really was. Yoongi talked to you because he was on your side. Though he didn’t like the idea of you with someone like Jungkook, he knows nothing he says will stop you. All he can do is be there to support you no matter what you choose. Unless Jungkook gives him a reason to step in, he won’t. But what he saw in Jungkook over a week ago, was nothing like the way he’d look at Soomin. Just the way he went after you the second you left when before Yoongi used to watch Jungkook storm out not caring how he left Soomin crying.

“If Jungkook wouldn’t have gotten to you, I would’ve taken you for myself,” Hoseok joked, knowing it’d get him annoyed easily, but he wanted to speak some truth too. “But did you know Jungkook told me to not even think about it? It was at that party months back when he was still dating Soomin. I asked him if he had your number and he told me that if I tried anything he’d beat my ass.”

He looked over to Jungkook, “Now that I think about it, you were always way too protective over us talking to Y/n. Be honest,” he grinned, “You’ve wanted Y/n all along, didn’t you? Even when you were dating Soomin and even after you ghosted her.”

“Maybe I did,” Jungkook said with a shrug clearly not caring even when you looked over at him in confusion. “Really?”

“I told you already and you didn’t seem to have a problem with it. Who cares now?”

God and you really didn’t care now. You should feel guilty or turned off by the fact that he was thinking of you while in a relationship but it’s not like he ever did anything. It’s not like the two of you didn’t get together a long time after they broke up. It’s not like you’d been seeking him out. And it was kind of hot knowing he wouldn’t let them talk to you. You gave a shrug, “I don’t care I just don’t get why you’d stay with Soomin if you felt that way.”

“Because I knew you wouldn’t want me if I tried leaving Soomin for you,” Jungkook answered honestly, “That’s when you two were super close.” You didn’t say anything, just gave a nod of your head and took your drink in your hands.

“Sneaky little Jungkook, you were scheming to get with Y/n. Be honest, is that why you ghosted Soomin?” Jin asked, making Jungkook more irritated than before. Jungkook just glared at him and everyone around. He didn’t need any of them asking questions or telling you that they wanted to get at you. He already had to deal with the fact that you were in multiple relationships when he was with Soomin and it would annoy him that he couldn’t do anything about it. He doesn’t need to know what they thought of you and if it meant distancing from his friends then he’d do it.

“Drop the topic hyung, it’s in the past and I don’t appreciate you all telling me how you wanted to get with my girlfriend,” as Jungkook said that his arm tightened around your waist. Hoseok rolled his eyes, “Jungkook please, we’re just curious and besides, we’re not the only ones looking at you and Y/n. Hell, that bottle service guy checks Y/n out every time he comes back.”

Jungkook’s eyes darted to the service guy, dark and glaring, “I know, and it’s really starting to get on my nerves.”

Your hand was on his thigh as if that made a difference but clearly he was feeling irritated. He’s not the usual type to get overly jealous, possessive maybe but it was always because he wanted to prove that who he was dating was his. It was like a winning prize for him and yet with you he felt raging jealousy. Like, even if a man gave you the smallest of smiles he’d get mad. He doesn’t want them thinking you can be easily swooned when you’re with him. He doesn’t think of you as a possession but he definitely can be possessive over you.

He rolled his eyes in annoyance as he watched the guy in question come with more alcohol for the table. The bartender was coming around every few minutes but he knew it wasn’t because of the liquor. It was the third time Jungkook caught him staring at the skirt you wore tonight. The Chanel one he just bought you yesterday. The guy wasn’t even trying to hide the fact he was checking you out. Not even as you quite literally dug through his shirt to feel his chest while whispering in his ear. It’s not like it wasn’t obvious the two of you were dating.

“Don’t get so upset,” you whispered to him but he wasn’t listening, even when your fingers ran along his sternum. It was soothing that’s for sure, but with his friends and just getting you back, he can’t seem to relax. Just in case you’re snatched from him or worse, leave him high and dry again.

The guy set a bottle down at the table at the request of Hoseok but his eyes trailed back to you. He looked a little familiar but you couldn’t pinpoint from where. He looked up at you once more as he set the bottles down and Jungkook called out to him, “Hey you. Do me a favor.”

You looked at your boyfriend now, unsure of how he’d react. You’ve never seen that look in his eyes except for when he saw Taehyung in person at the restaurant. The guy looked up, eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights. He stuttered over his words a little, “Of course sir.”

Jungkook smiled as he fixed the sleeve of his Givenchy button up, “Stop staring at my girlfriend or we’re gonna have a problem.”

The guy opened his mouth in complete bewilderment as you turned to glare at Jungkook, a blush raising in your cheeks. He only held the guy’s eye contact, intimidation radiating off him daring the guy to respond. Jungkook’s friends seemed all too amused, looking at the guy to see what he’d say. You attempted to make yourself shrink, hand suddenly growing cold against his chest.

“Are we clear?” He asked with his glass of Scotch raised a little and his leg crossed over the other, all while he had an arm around you. The guy seemed to malfunction for a second as he looked between you, leaning down and bowing. He didn’t look away from the guy until he left.

“Great, you’ve scared off our guy,” Jimin huffed in feigned annoyance fixing his suit jacket as he sat on the edge of the booth. He reached for one of the double shot glasses the guy had set out for your table. Jimin looked off to where the guy left in disappointment, “He’s been bringing us drinks all night.”

Jungkook didn’t react, choosing instead to look at you and how your expression changed. It’s so strange to feel jealous when someone even looks at you when before he thought it was hilarious when guys would gawk at the girl he was with. This was far from hilarious when he was serious about you.

Is it bad that you kind of liked it? You’re used to being ignored by your partners and very rarely did they consider you when with their friends. Jungkook spoke up for you when his friend’s asked personal questions and he made it known that you were an item. You’re used to guys wanting it on the low but Jungkook was obvious. He was protective and intimidating yet you kind of liked it. You’re not used to seeing him like this.

Without thinking any further you were turning his face toward you so you could capture his lips with yours. He didn’t concern himself with the way you two appeared to everyone right now. Sloppy tongues meeting in a familiar motion while he deepened the kiss. His lip ring was warming up with your touch and you went to run your tongue over it making him groan. The two of you shamelessly kissed right there while the others simply rolled their eyes and looked away.

“Unless you’re gonna start undressing to give us a show, put it away,” Jin joked and you swear Jungkook gave a low grunt in annoyance as you went to pull back.

To be honest, you didn’t expect to meet his friends. You’ve been dating for weeks minus that week you tried to dump him as an impulsive decision. You told him earlier that you didn’t mind staying behind if he wanted to see his friends but he wasn’t having it. He told you he wanted every single one of them to know you’re together. He wanted to show you off because he could. It is strange to hear them talk so vulgarly to each other. Sure you’ve joked with your own friends in such ways but you couldn’t picture yourself openly telling Soomin or Yeonwoo that their boyfriends were attractive and that you wanted them before. It’s awkward of course now that you’re dating Jungkook but you never had ulterior motives when he was with Soomin. Even when he first approached you at the club, you weren’t at all happy to see him. It’s taken some time to get where you’re at.

But hearing everyone, and even himself, tell you he was way too aware of your presence despite having a partner, put you on edge. Maybe he’d do the same to you as he did to Soomin and the thought alone suddenly changed your mood completely.

Jungkook obviously noticed it because he noticed everything you do and pressed you into his side. His face in your hair, “We leave whenever you want, alright?”

You just gave a nod not looking at him instead looking at your phone. He watched you scroll on Instagram ignoring the conversation his friends had to look at what you were doing. Your feed was a bit of everything from nail designs to your friends and celebrities. It’s when you’d scroll past pictures of guys you knew that his jaw would tense. If only you knew how annoyed he’d get back then when he’d stalk your profile just to see all these guys following you and commenting on your stuff. He doesn’t even want to think about your DMs. Now his mood had become sour too.

You were gathering your handbag now, “I want to leave.”

“Alright let’s go,” Jungkook said, his tone a little bitter but he did what you wanted anyway. It doesn’t seem to matter if he wards off guys in person when you’ve got so many on your phone. His friends just watched your exchange, “Already?”

“Yup,” Jungkook said, giving no room for more questions. Jimin noticed first the change in mood you two had but it didn’t even seem to be fully toward each other. He’s not sure if he’s ever seen Jungkook be so willing to do what his partner wants and yet that’s all he’s seen when Jungkook is with you. Even when you’re not together, you seem to be the only thing on his mind. It was obsessive almost but not quite?

The car ride was silent as he took you back to your place where he’s been staying the last couple days. Little pieces of Jungkook were everywhere. His toothbrush, extra clothes, snacks, backpack, laptop, things he’d buy, all spread throughout your small apartment. You wondered if he felt cramped here and was only being nice. Various things of yours were at his place too but it was way more spacious you barely made a mess.

It became obvious early on that your emotions seemed to mirror each other, practically bonded. If you were mad, it’d put him in a mood too, and vice versa. If he was happy then you were too. If you were smiling, he was too. If you were over being out with his friends, then he was too. Sometimes it’s a good thing, sometimes when you’re both annoyed, it’s not.

You were barely through your door when he was following after you, hand gripping your wrist. You turned to look at him and there was something in his eyes you knew all too well. You hadn’t even taken your shoes off, barely throwing your bag somewhere when he was dragging you into him. You squealed a little at the suddenness when he was bending down to hook his arms around your thighs.

Your hands flew to his shoulders being hoisted up in the air as he carried you further into your place. Suddenly he was setting you down on the surface of your dining table and aiding you to lay back. “Wha—Jungkook!”

“I need this,” he said kissing your leg as he picked them up, scooting a chair over for himself so he could sit between them, “I want to feel you and taste you. Seeing all those men look at you like they wanted you, it really pissed me off. And I don’t want you thinking for one second that they could make you feel what I do. And I don’t want you thinking anyone can make me feel the way you make me feel. So just give me a taste.”

“You’re such a smooth talker,” you teased even as he slid your skirt up dragging you to the end of the table to be closer, “But take what you want.” He chuckled sitting up to lean over the table and catch your lips with his, “Don’t tell me that. I’m a very greedy boy.”

“Really? How greedy?” You asked as his fingers traced your thighs further up to where your panties were. He smiled down at you, “I won’t stop until I have my fill, unless you’re begging me to.”

His thumb was grazing your center over the panties you wore. His hand was flat on your thigh letting his thumb run over your clit looking down at you with dark eyes. His gaze traveled down the expanse of your body, still fully dressed but with your skirt fluttering up and exposing only your mound. You lied flat on the table like a platter waiting to be feasted on by Jungkook. He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth as he went back to your eyes, “I don’t want another man to even look at your body. It’s mine, okay?”

You rolled your eyes looking away from him suddenly remembering what put you in a bad mood earlier. How many girls has he said that too? So annoying. The hand that had been between your legs was suddenly at the side of your ribs, waiting for you to respond.

Annoyed that you weren’t looking at him anymore he bent over you again, “Pay attention to me," He mumbled as he used his nose to nudge your face to look up at him. He gave your lips a soft lick letting his tongue part your lips enough for you to kiss him back.

Jungkook pulled away with a soft grunt as if the action alone was unbearable before making his way down to your cunt. He looked ridiculously gorgeous as his back muscles flexed when he slid down between your legs. His face lined up with your arousal, he didn’t hold back, immediately going in to bring you pleasure. He licked a line up your folds until his tongue hit your clip. He licked up at you turning his head to the right and then to the left. His tongue was stiff and with every shake of his head, it bumped your clit until it pointed out from under the hood.

He had you pulled to the end of the table as he sat on a chair between your legs. The legs in questions were over his shoulders with his hands keeping them spread. When Jungkook noticed what was happening to your clit, he moved quickly to wrap his lips around it giving it a light suckle. He kissed it with a sense of urgency like he couldn’t get enough and you felt it through the way he pressed his face into your cunt. Your head fell back on the table with a soft moan, “Jung…kook.”

He hummed in response shaking his head as he kissed you to stimulate your folds. It looked sinful, legs spread wide wide and your knees bent for your feet to be at the edge of the table. Jungkook between them fully dressed in the designer clothes he’d gone to the lounge bar in. His head shaking with every messy tongue kiss he gave your wet pussy. It was truly erotic.

Jungkook looked to you every once in a while watching your reactions. Deciding to take up a notch he pulled his mouth away from your clit. Suddenly he was pushing his tongue in and out of your entrance collection your slick on his tongue. Your arm went up, blocking your face, as you moaned, “Oh my god.”

“Look at me,” he lifted his head, heavy pants of breath before diving back in. His hand slid between your legs, palm flat on your pelvis, thumb at your clit. His tongue didn’t stop plummeting into your cunt as far as it could go and you hear the squelch of your slick on his face.

His head tilted to the side doing as he pleased to bring you closer to the edge of orgasm. His thumb circled your clit making sure to dip it into your slick every now and then so it wouldn’t dry.

He was going to bring you to orgasm just with his tongue and he could feel it. Jungkook could feel the way your legs trembled and your hips began to raise and meet his greedy mouth. Your arm blocking your face again completely forgetting that he ordered you to look at him. You were moaning his name now and it sounded like music to his ears. He just loved you so much. So much and he didn’t care that his cock felt heavy in his briefs.

Even with how hard he’s become he ignores it so he could focus on you. You were so close, just let go. Your stomach tensed, “I’m gonna cum, oh fuck.”

He hummed, letting you move his face with the jutting of your hips not taking his tongue out of your pussy. You gave him one last whine of his name as your walls broke. He felt the flood of release hit his tongue and he lapped at it like an animal. He was thirsty, wanting to have whatever you gave him. Everything about you turned him on, especially the way you looked when he made you cum.

Jungkook didn’t stop until there was no more, and when he did he place kisses along your thigh, catching his breath after the work he’d just done. He watched your chest as you did what you could to catch your own breath. He kicked back the chair as he stood and leaned over your body again. Black button up rolled up to his elbows and belt firm around his slim waist. His hands pressed into the table looking down at you with a gaze that you couldn’t look away from.

Below him, you were perfect in his eyes. With your hair splayed on the table, eyes on him, breasts raising and lowering with each breath. Dressed in your small top and skirt that fluttered down on itself since your knees were still bent upward. Your center almost touched his bulge but neither one of you moved your eyes to it.

“Do you love me?” You asked but not in the same naive and vulnerable tone anymore. He nodded his head, “Yes.”

“Mm,” was all you said you raised an arm to wrap around his neck and lifted yourself up as his hand went to your back. Your legs wrapped around his mid section. He carried you in his arms all the way to your bedroom like it was nothing. He laid you down gently and got on top of you.

A smile broke out on his face before capturing your lips with his.

The following day after making up with Jungkook you left to class early and waited to see if Yeonwoo would come in. She caught you sitting down a row toward the front and came to you. It’s still slightly awkward but she’s obviously been more open to talking to you again than Soomin. Soomin is 100% still mad at that and part of you can’t blame her and the other part thinks it’s overreacting. When she got to your row she made her way through it and took the seat next to you, “Hey.”

“Hey,” you said back as she looked down at your desk where your things were put out. Her brows went up, “You still haven’t bought a new laptop?”

“With what money?” You said with a small laugh looking down at the cracked screen. It was actually pretty bad but you did not have money to splurge on a new laptop at the moment, “Besides it still works, it’s just the screen that’s cracked.”

The small talk ended right there when the professor came in. It wasn’t a lecture today, you had to do these partner questions so you obviously partnered together. It was a pretty bland back and forth between you but every once in a while her attention would drift to your phone. You’d receive a text that you would choose to ignore and then another. By the third text you finally had enough and picked up your phone. You typed back a response and set it back down. Yeonwoo sighed, “So you really are still with Jungkook?”

You looked up at her now, “Um… yes.” It’s not like you could hide it anymore after Jungkook’s burst the other night. It still felt weird to admit it but what else could you do? It was the truth. It wasn’t even like you were embarrassed to date him. How could you be? You’ve always been aware of the fact that he’s unbelievably hot and charming. You wondered how many girls have a campus crush on him that you didn’t even know. You couldn’t even think about all the girls who follow him around all day.

She released a deep sigh, “I know what I say doesn’t mean shit to you anymore but I seriously don’t like you two together. You’re just wrong for each other.” Her eyes were on her assignment even as she spoke to you, “Whatever though, you’re going to do what you want even if it’s not good for you.”

You didn’t say anything back for a while before finally saying, “What do you want me to say?”

“I don’t know, be honest with me as your friend?” Yeonwoo said, “Is he at least treating you right? Because he treated Soomin like shit, in case you forgot.”

You thought about it for a moment. You know Jungkook treated her like shit, you didn’t forget but you clearly chose to ignore it. She doesn’t need to be reminding you of it but here’s the thing. He has never even yelled at you when he’s upset. Even the night at the restaurant he was more worried about you breaking up with him than mad. Most of the time you spend with him it’s hard to even get your own space because he’s always around. The only time away from him you get is either on campus or work. He doesn’t have to worry about a part time job when his entire future is already mapped out and he could live as careless as he wanted. You can do that when your father’s a CEO but it makes it hard on you. He always wants to see you and it leaves you with no alone time. The most alone time you’ve had was the few days you weren’t speaking to him. Otherwise he’s always trying to communicate with you. So, you can’t say he ignores you, or fights with you, or even yells at you.

“He’s good,” was all you said. Jungkook definitely says some stuff sometimes that you don’t fully believe but you know there’s things you say that he doesn’t believe either. Still, you couldn’t say he treated you badly. It was just taking some time adjusting still. Yeonwoo’s eyes narrowed at you as if trying to see if you were lying but you really weren’t. The only downside to having him as a boyfriend is that he’s probably more clingy and needy than you.

kook<3: am I seeing you tn?

kook<3: maybe you could stay at my place for a few days

you: I have work these next couple nights

you: so I probs should just stay home

Your phone had been back on your desk when it started buzzing, people looked over at you slightly annoyed as you fumbled to turn it off. Yeonwoo looked at it, “Is he always blowing up your phone?”

“Sometimes,” you said honestly, “He wanted me to stay at his place for a couple nights but I’ve got work.”

kook<3: well I can just stay at your place then

you: I’ve got a study session tn so maybe tomorrow

kook<3: with who?

you: yoongi

kook<3: hm

By the end of class it was close to lunch time and with a long break between lectures you and Yeonwoo had time for a long meal. “Can Soomin and Joon join?”

“Obviously,” you told Yeonwoo, “If she knows I’m here and still wants to come though.”

“Yeah, I told her. We’ll see how it goes.”

So you ou left to a nearby cafe and Namjoon joined you first, “Y/n, I was wondering if you could help the Student Council with some advertising for the Summer Exhibition coming up. We’ve got to upload on the school blog and post around campus. If you have time can we meet up?”

“I can see if I can fit it between classes, if not you and Yeonwoo can come over sometime this week?” You said once you all had been seated with your drink orders put in. It didn’t take long for Soomin to walk in and the first few moments she completely ignored you. Alright, she’s still upset but at least you were having lunch together so maybe that was a step forward. You were still in between on if you wanted to be friends with her because she said some pretty mean things to you. At the same time though, you know she was under duress when Jungkook suddenly popped up. You’re not sure if anything happened after that since you left in a cab but you hope it wasn’t anything too bad.

“Hey,” she muttered to you forced to take the seat next to yours since Namjoon was next to Yeonwoo. You mumbled one back and got a second it was awkward between you all until Yeonwoo cut in, “Taehyung’s going to have some people over this weekend. Did he tell you guys that?”

“He sent a text the other night,” you told her, “I might go.”

“With my ex?” Soomin asked, looking over to you. Your jaw became tense wanting to avoid this topic. You still weren’t sure how to go about this but you also didn’t want to just be shitted on. If they didn’t want you around, why don’t they just tell you? You decided you didn’t want to stay quiet, “If he wants to then I guess.”

Soomin glared at you, “He probably will since he’s been in love with you for who knows how long. Since I dated him I’m sure.”

“Soomin,” Yeonwoo warned clearly exasperation with hearing this over and over again. At least with you she didn’t have to worry about listening to the same thing every day. She understands Soomin is upset but give it up or stop talking to you. Soomin shook her head, “What? It’s not like what I’m saying is a lie. He told me himself.”

“I don't know what you want me to do, Soomin. I’m not dumping him if that’s what you want. And even if he had feelings for me—which I doubt—I didn’t know and I would have never done anything to you,” you lied. You obviously knew that he did, in fact, have feelings for you back then but you didn’t know at the time. You’ll say whatever makes you sound like a better person.

She scoffed, “Right, because you’ve always been able to resist a guy giving you attention. I saw the way you used to look at him.”

Your brows furrowed. When he dated Soomin you never thought anything more than that he was good looking. You actually hated him up until the first night you kissed and you only did it because you were drunk. You didn’t say anything now, too annoyed to keep listening to her and focusing on your menu instead. Your phone began to vibrate again, and though it was facing down everyone knew who it was. You chose to ignore it.

“Just answer,” Yeonwoo said the second time it began to ring and you did just that.

“Let’s have lunch if I can’t see you later,” was the first thing Jungkook said to you once you answered. You wanted to get up and talk somewhere private but you also knew that would just give them an excuse to talk shit while you were still around.

“I’m already having lunch,” you told him and you could practically see the way he rolled his eyes. “You don’t care about me then.”

With a small sigh you had to excuse yourself this time after you just said you wouldn’t. You went toward the restroom, “No, you don’t care about me. I’m sorry I can’t be with you 24/7 but why don’t you just give me so—“l

“Space? So you’re dumping me again.”

“Holy shit, I just might if you keep being this clingy,” you said impulsively, “I can’t even work anymore without you complaining that I’m ignoring you. If I’m not giving you enough attention, find someone who will.”

“Oh so you still don’t want to be with me? You’re very quick to try and leave me and now you want me to find someone else?” Jungkook asked bitterly as he walked toward his campus lunch room. “Because I can, there’s a ton of girls here who’d die for my number.”

“So give it to them and I’ll do the same.”

His jaw clenched at the thought of whatever guy might be into you who he doesn’t even know. His grip tightened around his phone, “Give them your number Y/n. I dare you.”

“I will, since you want to say that I don’t care about you, I’ll show you.” With that you hung up and he snapped.

His phone hit the pavement under him with a shatter, others staring at him in confusion as he glared, “What?” He bent to pick it up hoping to call you again but it wouldn’t turn on. Great, he had to get a new phone, find you, and take you away.

“Fighting? You took forever,” Soomin said and that seemed to annoy you more than Jungkook just did. “He wanted to have lunch together.”

“You should’ve invited him then,” Soomin said with a bitter laugh, “Or were you still hoping to hide him like we don’t know you’re together.”

“Look, if you don’t like me anymore fine, don’t talk to me. Talk shit about me I don’t give a fuck,” you said, you were close to snapping, or maybe you were already doing it, “I’m not the one who dumped you, he was. Go take your problems to him even though I know he wouldn’t give a shit. I’m sorry you found out this way but I’m not sorry that I’m dating him. If every time I see you you’re going to be a bitch then whatever, I’m not going to beg you to be my friend. Unless Yeonwoo dumps me too, you’re stuck seeing me so you either get over it or leave, I don’t care anymore.”

“See you guys later,” you added as you stood, thankfully you’ve only ordered a water so there was no bill and you could still leave, “Or I’ll see you at the party.”

“You can’t come,” Soomin said but you just shrugged, “That’s not what Taehyung said. But don’t worry, I’ll stay away from you.”

“Bye,” you said with a smile to Yeonwoo and Namjoon who gave one back shyly ignoring the glare Soomin sent them.

So neither you nor Jungkook stayed mad for long. You were busy with work and school but he did end up coming over on Friday night when you were finally free. On Saturday he took you to the Mac store and bought you a new laptop to apologize. You normally wouldn’t take gifts like that but whatever, he’s got the money for it and at least you know he loves you enough to buy you shit.

Your mom always told you that if a man wants to prove he loves you then he’ll do whatever you asked and apparently that was true. He pretty much does everything you ask except give you space. You complain that your laptop is broken and he buys you a new one. You complain about your feet hurting and he takes your heels off for you. You tell him you want his head between your legs and he jumps at the opportunity. A greedy, spoiled, needy bunny. That’s what he was and you definitely took advantage of that when you weren’t arguing.

Like right now, he was clinging to your back when you greeted Taehyung who smiled widely and pulled you into a hug, “Drinks are in the kitchen, sorry there’s more people than expected. Um, hey, Jungkook, right?”

Jungkook nodded ignoring the hand Taehyung had stretched out choosing instead to drag you off. You had gotten drinks before moving to the couch waving at Yoongi and the others, even Soomin. Fuck that bitch, if she wasn’t going to get over it you were going to be petty now. Jungkook didn’t know that but it didn’t stop him from pulling you onto his lap where you sat with an arm around his shoulders and his around your waist.

“You look so pretty, baby,” Jungkook whispered to you as his finger traced an imaginary circle on your thigh, “I want to take you right here.”

“Don’t you wish,” you smiled pressing your cup to his lips and he happily drank from it. His hand slid back to your waist, “I do, and if I see another guy check you out I’ll do it right now.”

You leaned forward a bit to get Yoongi’s attention, feeling Jungkook’s hand move to your ass now as if in warning. You were playing with him, you know, but you liked that he was possessive and you wanted to test it. “You left your coat at my place the other night. I was gonna bring it to you but I forgot.”

“That’s fine, I’ll go pick it up tomorrow when we get dinner tomorrow,” he said looking to Jungkook who glared at him. He smiled tensely, “Mind if I get dinner with you and my girlfriend tomorrow? Or is it invitation only?”

“Invitation only,” you said watching him slump back annoyed. He slid you off his lap suddenly as he stood, “I need to use the bathroom.”

“Down the hall to your right,” Namjoon said and he was off.

It was awkward, you’ll admit that. Soomin was doing as told and ignoring you but you didn’t care. You could easily ignore her entire presence even if she sat three people away from you. You’re tired of everyone thinking they can just say whatever and you won’t respond. Taehyung came shortly after looking to you, “I need a partner for beer pong, can it be you?”

You nodded, taking his outstretched hand as he looked around for Jungkook, “I would’ve asked the others but they’re shit.” “Lucky for you, I’m skilled in a lot of things.”

“I bet you are,” Taehyung said with a little smirk, “Too bad Jungkook’s the only one who gets to see it all.”

It was strange between you and Taehyung. There was nothing there, obviously but you know—and everyone knows this too— that you’re a flirty person. It’s not even that you want him, you love Jungkook, but sometimes it’s just fun. Old habits die hard.

“Not all, I keep some things hidden,” you told him as he led you to where the others were waiting for him, “I like my secrets.”

“I’m sure you do, kept your boyfriend from me even when we went on that double date. Shame on you,” he said with a shake of his head but his tone was playful.

“Now that wasn’t my fault, Yeonwoo insisted but aren’t you happy you met me?”

“Of course, just sad I didn’t get to you first.”

“First for what?” Jungkook asked behind you making Taehyung freeze, “Don’t stop on my account. Keep going, I want to hear what you have to say.”

“We’re talking about a game,” You lied and very poorly at that.

“Really? Because right now it looks like he’s flirting with my girlfriend so lie to me again,” he said making you roll your eyes. “Don’t be dramatic.”

Jungkook took a deep breath forcing himself to smile, “Alright. I’ll give you your space tonight. Have fun.”

Your brows furrowed in confusion as he walked off but the awkward air around you and Taehyung made you focus on him. “Let’s play.”

It was taking everything in Jungkook to not turn back and bash Taehyung’s head in. The audacity the guy had to openly flirt with another man’s girl. And for you to do it back, oh that was the cherry on fucking top. His fists tightened to release some anger, feeling his nails dig into his palm. What was wrong with you? What the actual fuck is wrong with you? You’ve got the best guy and you want to hang out with him instead? Were you trying to make him jealous? If that’s the game you want to play, he could do it better. Matter of fact, he’ll show you how easy it is to get a girl and he won’t even have to lift a finger.

And he was right, the second he stood alone at this stupid ass party he knew there would be someone itching to get closer. It didn’t even take ten minutes before a girl came up to him with a smile on his face, “You don’t seem happy to be here at all.”

“Well my girlfriend is off doing her own thing,” he played the sympathetic guy, a victim of his mean girlfriend, the sweet one. The girl smacked her lips in disapproval, “Doesn’t she know that you could get snatched any second?”

His face went cold, “I’m sure she’s not worried. But, why do you say that? You think there’s someone else out there who might want me?” Play naive, he can do that. The girl shrugged, “Oh I know there’s a few.”

“You included?” “Me especially,” she whispered taking a step closer to him. From across the party he could see you make eye contact with him and it made him want to keep going, “That’s bad, my girlfriend might get jealous.”

“Then maybe she should watch you more carefully.”

“Oh I think she’s doing that just fine, but you don’t seem to care, do you?” He asked once again playing stupid. The girl shook her head looking at him from head to toe, “And when I see something I want, I know how to get it.”

“Is that easy for you?” Jungkook asked with a raise of his brows, “That confident? I guess I understand, you’re attractive.”

He shrugged when she blushed and he looked over to you still glaring at him and it made him smile as he looked down to the girl. He was making you jealous, good, you need to know how he feels every second you’re away from him. He smiled at the girl, “But compared to my girlfriend, you’re pretty fucking ugly to look at.”

Her smile dropped but Jungkook kept going. He knew that from your point of view you could misjudge the conversation and think he was flirting back with her. That’s what he wanted. The girl looked taken back by the sudden switch in his tone so he went on, “And I don’t like girls who chase after taken men. You don’t get what you want because you’re attractive. You get it because you’re clearly an easy person to sleep with. So don’t be so confident in yourself. I’m not looking at anything special.”

“What the fuck,” the girl said and yet he still smiled when he saw you begin to come over. Perfect.

“Oh I’m just kidding,” Jungkook laughed, “I just wanted to see how you’d react.” He was stalling, trying to keep the girl here until you came. He wanted to see what you’d do.

“What are we talking about over here?” You asked as you approached with a big, fake smile. The girl looked at you up and down as Jungkook put an arm around your shoulders, “Oh, this chick was trying to flirt with me even though she knew I had a girlfriend, baby.”

“Hm, and I’m sure you said no, right?” You looked at him now and he just shrugged, “I was just doing what you were doing with Taehyung.”

“Your boyfriend’s an asshole and I promise you I don't want him,” the girl said with a scoff and you lifted a hand to cup his chin, fingers squeezing his cheek. “You sure? But he’s so handsome.”

At that, Jungkook fought against your hold to kiss you but you moved away even as he squeezed you closer to him for the kiss. The girl looked between you clearly confused by you two, “I’m sorry, I promise I don’t want him.”

“And yet you came over to flirt with him, right? And you’re still here talking,” you said harshly, “I’ll tell you what, if you want him, take him. I’ll let him fuck you if he wants to.”

Jungkook chuckled, you were clearly being a bitch to her on purpose. As if you thought he’d leave you for her and you know that. You’re just too much like him but he thinks it’s so hot. It’s just too fun being an asshole to everyone because you can. He wasn’t even mad that you had been with Taehyung. He hugged you from behind, arms snug around your waist, chin resting on your shoulder, “Oh come on baby, don’t be so mean. She meant well, she thought you left me for another guy.”

He looked the girl up and down, “I told you my girl would get jealous.” She looked uncomfortable and now fed up, she left with a roll of her eyes. You looked at Jungkook from over your shoulder who just gave you a cheeky smile, “You’re so hot when you’re jealous.”

This time you rolled your eyes too, “Whatever. I’m ready to go.”

“Alright,” Jungkook bent down sliding his arms down to your thighs and hoisting you up. “Stop,” you groaned trying to get his arms off of you but it was too late. He was already walking you to the door with you facing forward and his arms around your legs. You tried to hide your face but it was no use. As if your friends wouldn’t recognize you.

Jungkook was laughing as you pushed on his arms to get him to let you go but he walked you out the door just like that. He didn’t set you down until you made it to the stairs and you glared at him as you pulled your skirt back down. His hand went to your ass as he nibbled on your earlobe knowing how sensitive it is, “Seeing you jealous turns me on.”

“Whatever.”

“Don’t whatever me, you know how annoyed I get when you’re with another guy?” Jungkook said exiting the building and pushing his button to unlock his car. Instead of opening the passenger door he goes to the back instead. You shrugged, “I know.”

His jaw clenched, “Get in.”

“In the back?” Your brows furrowed even as you did as told. You didn’t expect him to follow after you pushing you down, “Yup because I can’t wait to get home to show you how much better I am.”

“Better at what?” You asked spreading your legs enough for him to get between them crawling over you to kiss you. “Everything,” he kissed your neck.

“What if someone catches us?” You asked though you didn’t seem too worried about it as you chose to sit up instead of lay under him. His hands went to your waist letting you climb onto his lap as he moved over to the middle seat. He began to inch your skirt up letting his hand touch your ass again. He loved that you wore skirts a lot. It gave him easy access to the parts of you he wanted to touch. He gave you a smile as you tilted his chin up to you, “Nobody is going to see through the tints, baby.”

You released a sigh as you pressed your lips against his with a teasing kiss, “That's a shame. I kinda wanted them to.”

Jungkook’s jaw opened in a lax expression when you kissed down the side toward his ear sending a shiver down his spine. Fuck, you turned him on so much. Everything you did from the way you slept to the way you moaned his name. He wanted you so badly, needed you. What you just said made his whole body tremble feeling the blood rush his dick that was confined by too many layers. He couldn’t even wait for foreplay. He needed you now. Like right now, in the back of his tinted car, no protection and still fully dressed.

You must’ve felt the same because you were lifting yourself up to let him unzip himself while you tried taking your underwear off. He freed his hard cock giving it a couple quick strokes while he brought his other hand into his mouth. His tongue lathered his fingers in spit before bringing it down between your legs to your heat. You were already wet and his fingers worked to spread the slick along your folds and clit to avoid any roughness. You instantly began to move your hips against his hand making him look up at you, cock in hand.

You moved over his lap again and he took the mive to point his member up, watching you look down and try and line him up with your entrance. His hands were under your butt fighting the slip of your skirt over them as you adjusted to his dick, unprotected and without much prep. You probably shouldn’t be doing this but who was going to drop you when you were so horny? God, it’s like, you know it’s bad to be jealous. And you know he was trying to make you jealous, but it was hot. Not the part where the chick flirts with him but the part where he degraded her a little in your presence. It was bad. You shouldn’t like it but you do.

You like the way he shows you off and touches you like he doesn’t care. You like that he’s sought after and that so many girls want him while he’s with you. Your hands were around his neck as he finally raised you up, letting you land back against his hips with one thrust. With your response he did it again, a little quicker now. The slide of his cock in a steady, still cautious, rhythm was good, but you wanted more. You let yourself move against him, doing a small grind every time you dropped onto his thick cock.

“Fuck,” his brows scrunched together in concentration. He’d love to see the look on those guy’s faces when they see you taking his cock so well. All those guys who are on your phone or who you dated in the past thinking about the fact that you’re Jungkook’s. He’s keeping you and he’s not letting go, especially not when you sucked him in so well, taking every inch of him enveloping him in a warmth he craved.

His head fell back against the seat watching you take control, bouncing on his length in a quick and rough pace, clearly in need of release. That’s fine, he’ll watch you fuck yourself on his dick. You make him feel so good even when he’s not the one doing the work. He could just sit back, watch you jump on his cock, and enjoy. He didn’t even care if the car moved or if you two were even loud enough to be heard outside. All he knew was that he needed to cum, now.

His hands found their way to your waist again, not to stop you but to hold you in place as he shifted further down his seat. His feet spread and planted on the car floor for support as he raised his hips. You moaned into his hair as he began to fuck up into you, arm tightly snaked around your waist as he went faster. You could hear the slap of skin as he chased his release. Wanting to bring you closer too he yanked down your shirt and groped your tit. His mouth quickly wrapped around the nipple making you shiver.

“Oh fuck,” you whined letting your hips grind forward and back while having him pound into you from below. His head moved with your breast whenever you used your whole body to drop onto his cock.

His tongue licked up and down on the hardened bud, your hand digging into his bicep to hold yourself steady. “I need you to cum baby,” his grunt was swallowed by your tit and he never stopped thrust in his cock between your folds into your creamy pussy, “Right fucking now.”

“Okay,” you moaned desperate now to hit your orgasm so he could slip out of you before he did. The car was definitely moving now and there was a light fog inside. “Okay,” you repeated quickening your pace as you ride him, “I’m gonna cum…”

“Fuck,” he groaned doing everything to bring you closer from the thrust of his cock to the sucking of your nipples, “Do it, fuck Y/n, hurry up!”

“Oh my god,” you half groaned as you hit your limit. Your walls tightened around his cock squeezing him so snugly that he visibly tended. Forcing himself not to cum inside you his body shuddered with every twitch of your cunt, feeling your release pool against his base. Your body twitched as you tried sliding him off and he groaned loudly with the final chance of warmth and tightness now feeling way too exposed and cold.

Without further instruction, you leaned forward catching his head in your mouth, knowing this was it. You didn’t even have to stroke him, he was ready to blow his load and he did. Your throat was hit with a spurt of creamy release feeling it fill your mouth. You desperately tried to swallow as he moaned your name in pleasure. You lapped up as much as you could in order to save a mess waiting to happen and let him soften before taking him out of your mouth. He looked an even bigger mess than you and that was saying a lot.

He dragged his body back up to sit right as he tried tucking his member into his briefs. He looked at you, zipping up his jeans as you fixed your twisted skirt. He just thinks you look so pretty after sex, no matter how quick it is. With a sudden desire, he quickly snuck a kiss against your cheek before sitting back where he was. You gave him a little smile as you looked for your underwear. You slipped them back on trying to fix yourself up, “So are we going to your place?”

“Nah, I want to get drunk,” Jungkook said looking up at the building now, “Let’s go back to the party.”

“Ugh,” you whined looking at yourself through the rear view mirror, “I feel icky.”

You didn’t really care about returning to the party. You got what you needed and you were fine now. Jungkook opened the door already sliding out, “We’ll get you cleaned, don’t worry.”

He held you by the hand as the two of you went back in. The door was unlocked so you snuck back in making a beeline for the bathroom. Jungkook pushed you inside laughing as he locked the door shut, “Hurry up.”

“Shut up,” you told him as you lowered your underwear to sit on the toilet. He passed you the toilet paper roll that sat on the opposite end of the sink counter and turned away to let you clean yourself as best as you could. He checked himself out in the mirror before opening the cabinets under the sink. He found some wet wipes and lotions so he took them out. These have to belong to Taehyung or his roommate so in Jungkook’s mind, free reign. When you finished you flushed the toilet and stood next to him at the sink. You went to turn the faucet on watching him wipe face and neck with a wipe and moving to his arm pits. “Ew,” you pretended to cringe but he just shrugged.

“I’m doing this for you, I don’t care if people know we had sex,” Jungkook answered as he tossed it in the trash and grabbed another. You took one from the pack too, doing the same as funny as it was before washing your mouth. Jungkook passed you Taehyung’s mouthwash and poured some into your cupped hands. You swish it around in your mouth before spitting it back down and washing the liquid away.

“We should do that again sometime,” Jungkook said as the two of you joined everyone else in the main area.

“So what again?” Yoongi asked popping out from your right. His eyes narrowed, “Nevermind, I don’t want to know.”

“Is everyone still here?” You asked following after him as Jungkook went after you. Yoongi nodded, “Yeah but no clue where anyone went. Want a beer?”

“Yeah,” you said as he went to the kitchen. He came back with two and moved to the couch again, where he’s most likely been all night like the antisocial he is. You joined him on a armchair and Jungkook stood behind your chair as you talked to Yoongi. Now that you’ve had sex, he feels much more at ease. He still didn’t like you talking to other guys but he’ll make an exception.

“So, how you been?” Namjoon came up to him suddenly. Jungkook was surprised, the guy’s made little effort to talk to him these last few days. Before, when he was with Soomin, he spoke to Namjoon more. They weren’t friends by any means but he talked when their girlfriends got together. The second time around it was clearly awkward with him when his girlfriend and her friend were fighting with his other friend—you. All because of Jungkook, so yeah, he hasn’t talked to you. Right now though, he’s choosing to talk.

“Good, how about you?” “Same,” Namjoon cleared his throat awkwardly, “Personally I think you and Y/n match well.” Jungkook agreed but he also knows you’re both a little fucked in the head for reasons neither of you cared to explain.

“I think so too,” he responded in honesty. You felt Jungkook’s hand touch your head from where he stood behind you now carrying a conversation with Namjoon.

“I don’t know if I should ask this chick out or no, is she hot?” Yoongi ignored the hand that traced your cheek. A finger pressing against your lips even as Jungkook ignored it. He kept talking to Namjoon while trying to caress your face still thinking about demon time and how he’d like to do it again.

“You know Jin? Yeah he’s a good friend of mine,” Jungkook spoke casually, “Have you met Jimin?”

You moved your head making his hand slide to your neck, “I think she’s a strong 8.5”

“Hmm,” Yoongi looked down to his phone, “What happened to the other 1.5?”

“I don’t know, something I don’t like,” you answered him giving him back his phone. He looked down at the photo he had shown you and tilted his head in thought. You took the chance to look around at the people still here. Yeonwoo was on the other end of the room talking to Soomin and some other girl. You can’t tell if they’ve alienated you because of your choices or if you’ve alienated yourself just because you don’t know how to deal with it. All you know is that Soomin kept looking over here at you and then to Jungkook before talking to the other girls again.

You’re not sure if that meant she was talking about you or not but what you were sure of is that seeing you with Jungkook bothers her. Maybe it’s some of the mean things she’s said or the constant bashing on you, but you couldn’t bring it in yourself to care how she felt. Especially not when her eyes traced the length of his arm to the hand that was caressing your face without much thought into what he was doing. You know she still feels something for him.

It might not be love but there was something there for her. She had loved him enough when they dated and he treated her awful. Being left so suddenly clearly took a toll on her since she avoided everyone for months. Then, to see the person who just left you like it was nothing now with an old friend of yours? Oh, that’s gotta hurt. So sure, Y/n should feel a little guilty and she did at first. Now not so much, like whatever, it happened, move on. You’re just at that point where you don’t care what anyone thinks anymore. Her eyes met yours with a glare.

Without any debate you tipped your head back making Jungkook look down at you. His hand was on your jaw keeping you in place as he suddenly bent down to catch your lips with his. Namjoon’s words seemed to slow down as he witnessed the two of you kiss. Jungkook kept it short and sweet because if he did it longed he’d want to take you back out to the car. He smiled down at you, finally moving his hand to brush your hair back as you turned to talk to Yoongi again.

“I still can’t believe Y/n is dating Jungkook,” Soomin said with a sigh as she pulled her gaze away from you to turn to Yeonwoo. She just shrugged her shoulders watching her boyfriend talk to Jungkook, “I can’t either.”

“You’re the one who kept it from me,” Soomin said with a bitter tone that had Yeonwoo rolling her eyes.

“Well, you weren’t even talking to us when Jungkook came around the first time,” Yeonwoo pointed out, “And in my defense, I didn’t think anything would happen after they kissed.”

“After how he treated me I can’t believe Y/n would do that,” Soomin sighed and Yeonwoo just nodded silently. She tilted her head in thought as she watched you talk to Yoongi. Jungkook looked over to you every now and then but for the most part he was talking to Namjoon. Yeonwoo would just have Namjoon tell her what they talked about.

She just doesn’t trust you or Jungkook. There’s obviously heavy feelings between you two and that’s not a lie. She just can’t bring herself to believe it’s as perfect as you both are making it seem. Two people don’t just change overnight, especially not you.

Soon you’ll get bored, get your feelings hurt and move on. She’s surprised you haven’t done that yet but you will, she knows it. You’ve got this mentality where you think you have to be perfect for your partner. But you also think that if they’re not showing you what you think is affection, it won’t matter if they’re good to you or not. It won’t matter if they’re the sweetest guy in the world, you’ll find an excuse to leave. You got lucky with all the assholes you date because they never want anything serious. You don’t either because you think that there's a perfect guy out there just waiting for you. Well, there isn’t, and it’s definitely not Jungkook.

Jungkook had no sympathy for anyone but himself. He doesn’t care about another person’s feelings or if he’s done anything to hurt them. Actually, she knows he doesn’t care who he hurts. Just look at Soomin, he treated her like garbage and not a single part of him looks guilty.

So, she wants to say that you’re not good for each other. You get your feelings hurt too easily and he jumps into the relationship with you like it was nothing. You’re just not compatible. If Jungkook doesn’t do something to hurt you first, you’ll get him. You have a way of painting yourself as someone naive but she knows you’re not. She knows you’re using Jungkook just as much as he’s probably using you.

One of you isn’t being honest to the other. Either Jungkook is lying about how in love with you he is or you’re lying about how much you love him. Maybe he’s disguising his strange obsession with you in love, or you’re taking advantage of it to finally feel what you’ve been lacking all your life. She knows you, knows how you play and how you act when you’re no longer obsessed over someone.

There’s a reason why every guy you’ve ever dated didn’t stick around and it’s not just because they’re complete douchebags. She knows that when your resolve falls and you’re not the sweet and naive girlfriend anymore, you’re probably just as bad as them. Once you feel like they aren’t giving you what you want you change. You go from gentle and vulnerable to mean and obsessive. It’s not possible that every guy you’ve been with leaves you. If every single one of them does that, doesn’t it mean that you might be the problem? Maybe they see the real you that you don’t show Yeonwoo or anyone else. She just knows you’re not as pliant as you paint yourself. She saw it the other day when you snapped back at Soomin. Rightfully so, but you don’t usually speak your mind like that. Not that there’s anything wrong with it but it’s just not something she’s used to seeing.

Even with Jungkook, sometimes it seems like you’re the one in control. You’re the one leading him, you’re the one bringing him to things, you’re the one he obsessed over. But when she looks to see if you’re just as obsessed with him, she just can’t tell.

You don’t have a problem ignoring him like he’s not around. You don’t think twice about his feelings especially if he's going against whatever you told him to do. As strange as it sounds, Jungkook seems way more into you than you’re into him which is unusual since you’re the one usually more wrapped up in the other. Maybe you think Jungkook won’t leave you or you don’t care if he does.

All she knows is that you’re different from how you’ve been with other guys, and that she’s never known Jungkook to be so affectionate? It’s just hard to believe that this means you’ve both changed for the better. It just doesn’t seem genuine, nothing about your sudden changes feels honest.

One of you is going to regress into your old selves or maybe neither of you ever changed. Old habits die hard, everyone knows that. If there’s anyone who had bad habits when it came to relationships, it would be you two. The guy who doesn’t care about how awful a girl is treated. And the girl who seems to fall in love too fast and gets bored even faster.

One of you is lying, or both. There’s just no way two people change that fast, not you two anyway.

prev| end

::.

taglist: @jub-jub @moonfaery @hoseoksluv89 @jeonzll @kookieaddicted96 @darkuni63 @btspurplesky @kristinalucio

okok it was a long wait and was it worth it? idek. imma tell y’all rn there will only be one part left and I still don’t know if it’s gonna be a good or bad ending for jk and y/n

also be honest 👀who do you guys think changed the most from the first part and you do think will hurt the other more? they’ve both got jealousy and trust issues and i feel like we saw it a bit here

it’s giving him and i by g-easy and halsey but minus the cringe of the song me thinks

there’s also 100% hella errors in this but listen i gave myself a time limit

#kpop #jeon jungkook #jungkook smut #jungkook yandere #jungkook angst #jungkook au #kim taehyung #bts #jung hoseok #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #min yoongi #park jimin #bts smut #love lies

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who-do-i-know-this-man · 1 year

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I made a mistake. Several actually. Several very severe mistakes. And this post isn't meant to make it all ok, I have accepted that many are rightfully mad at me, but I do hope that I can at least have some context to the mistakes I made and why I made them.

First let me say that I am privileged. That much is true. I am a white man in the american suburbs. I have the luxury of not only not being personally affected by many social issues but not even having to witness them. But I still want to be a good person. And part of that is learning about these social issues by talking and interacting with people online. But I'm still not perfect. I'm barely an adult and I have a lot of growing to do as a person. And hopefully with this in mind it will make some of the mistakes I will go over just a bit more understandable.

Back in mid march I made the submissions post for this blog, and did not expect to get as many as I did. I then spent a month taking as many submissions as I could and putting them in a list. All in all I ended up with over 2000 characters. From that alone it should be understandable why I couldn't research every one before releasing the bracket. I even ended up with many mistakes like incorrect labeling and duplicate characters.

However the first true mistake came later. I was making the poll posts themselves and I got to Lance. I knew I should have done something at the time but I didn't exactly know what. It was one poll and I was doing 16 polls per day minimum, but ideally double that so that I could have a backlog of posts. So I didn't spend as much time thinking about the issue as I should have and the conclusion I came to was that at the end of the day it was a fictional character, and if I properly content warning it it will be fine. Anyone who is sensitive to that imagery can block it. This is largely where my ignorance came in. While it may sound improbable to those who do know more I promise you I genuinely thought that I was doing no harm. And while I won't lie and say I am now a master in the topic now I do have a better understanding of the harm that this decision caused. Additionally my pride got to me. I am very proud of having "the biggest bracket on tumblr" but I had already had quite a few be disqualified for being duplicates or real people, so I didn't want to make the bracket any smaller and lose prestige. This was far from the main reason I kept him in, but it was morally wrong.

People's response to the original poll was mixed. There were people who immediately asked me to remove him, but others were on my side in saying that he should stay since he's a fictional character and his morals don't matter. So I defaulted to the stance I already had, and did nothing. This was a mistake. Above all else I should have prioritized everyone feeling safe and comfortable on my blog.

But the last night it was about an hour later then I should have been asleep and my brain was incredibly stupid, and things started to go down hill. I got the first ask in a while about Lance, and I decided to put an end to the issue. My way of doing this was doing a poll. In my mind this was my way of accounting for my ignorance. I don't know much about how severe this issue is, so I'll put it in the hands of people who did.

This poll also got mixed results. Some said I should just have the conviction to eliminate him myself, but others brought up things about that character I didn't know, like how he apparently has a character arc of learning fascism is bad, or that he has other visuals where he's wearing different outfits. I also got messages from fans of the series who thanked me for giving the character a chance. This made me feel comfortable in being a "neutral party". However with the notes I felt that I should "do this right" which unfortunately led to me doing the exact opposite.

I deleted the original poll, where 70% were in favor of disqualifying him. I didn't think it was a big deal since it had only been up a few minutes, but this was yet another mistake. I made a new poll, which included info that had been told to me since the previous poll. But the problem was that what I had actually written was not good. It was almost midnight at this point, so while I tried to remain a "neutral party" I ended up having the info show a very clear bias. And considering the character in question, people began to wonder why I was trying so hard to keep him in the poll. This led to many replies on the poll that began to overwhelm me. I was starting to realize the mistakes I had made and just how deep of a pit I had dug myself in. I panicked. I turned off replies and deleted all the ones on that were on the poll so that I could say everything I wanted to say interrupted. This backfired, and led to people going to the reblogs instead. And me deleting all the replies looked BAD. While I was trying to get the things I wanted to say out the post had spread. Spread even outside of the people who normally know this account. People who knew nothing of the history and structure of this blog, who thought that I had seen a character who was a Nazi and thought "sure come right in" and I was now trying desperately to keep him in.

This understandably made people very mad when that was their perception. Many many people were saying terrible hurtful things to me. Their heart was in the right place but even now I do not agree with the kind of harassment some stooped to. At this point I was in a full blown panic attack. Every bit of damage control dug me deeper into the pit. I decided that I needed to deal with this situation with a clear head so that I didn't make more mistakes in a panic. I deleted the poll about Lance's elimination and went to bed.

That brings us to this morning. I have announced that Lance is disqualified, and deleted the original poll containing him. I promise you all that I will try my hardest to prevent anything like this from happening again on my blog. I want to make things as right as I can. And I hope now you all will believe me when I say that I am not a Nazi, or an antisemite, I'm just a privileged idiot who made some dumb mistakes.

#long post

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swallowtail-ageha · 11 months

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Scrolling through your asoiaf tag and you have such good and correct opinions like how can anyone love just Dany or just Sansa or just Arya like how can anyone not see the parallels between Dany and Sansa it makes me feel so crazy like why are there so few people who love all the girlies?? I genuinely love every single female POV character and can’t imagine hating any of them. I mean sure yeah Cersei is a villain but you’re telling me her tragedy doesn’t touch your heart? Watching this woman desperately try to avoid her prophecy as it unfolds before you doesn’t have you in a death grip? Or like are you unmoved by Sansa telling an annoying snotty little boy how brave he is because she wants him to feel better? Dany comforting Missandei when her brother dies? Arya getting to the house of the black and white and immediately thinning to being a man a cup of water (or at least what she thought was water)? How about Sansa telling Joffrey she hopes Robb cuts his head off? Dany sassing the man who wants to open the fighting pits? Arya telling Jaquen to kill himself? Like please come on. All three girls are obviously different but they share so many very endearing traits. I am fiercely holding tight to my delusion that Dany and Sansa will bond over stories and songs and Arya will teach Dany about all the flowers in Westeros and then Sansa will show them how to make flower crowns and embroider little emblems on Arya’s clothes

First of all tysm!!!!

The whole arya vs sansa vs dany fandom fight frustrates me to no end, mainly because all parties involved seem to have little to no empathy to the characters whose stans they oppose. It's all maliciously extrapolating some parts of the text to make them see worse than what they are (ex: daenerys' "if i look back i am lost" getting twisted from "dany knows that dwelling on what ifs and turning your back after you have taken a commitment will only damage you in the long term" in "dany doesn't want to reflect on her past mistakes and will go mad and get stabbed to death" or sansa getting frustrated at sweetrobin being a sign of her being ableist and classist while it's. Just a normal reaction of a stressed and traumatized 13 yo who is otherwise very sweet to her cousin)

For loving the female characters same! Even those who commit outwardly villainous acts do get lots of humanizing moments, Cersei, as awful as she is, is simply a product of the hyper misogynistic society she lives in plus years of parental and spousal abuse (and the doomed by prophecy vibes) and. I genuinely don't get how people can look at the walk of shame and say it's a fitting punishment to her crimes

Overall all the hate for female characters that are more complex or more driven or more morally ambiguous than what most female characters are presented as in other media in a fandom who (supposedly) prides itself in liking morally ambiguous characters is.. frustrating, really. I blame both fandom misogyny but also the GoT series, as it's outright changes in female character's actions and stories to make them look better or worse than what they originally were skewered the visions of almost everyone in the fandom (arya is an egregious victim of this. Scenes such as her caring for Weasel or her befriending sex workers in braavos don't exist and they added that "all girls are idiot" scene that i hate and they removed all her plan to free the northmen from harrenal and she got turned from traumatized child to hashtag no one super cool assassin and her character got straight up murdered in the tv series.)

Oh and also for kickstarting the whole jonsa vs jonerys thing which i'm pretty sure is the origin of the stupid dany vs sansa wars

And yes!! Dany Sansa and Arya should get to meet and reunite! While i do think that there will be some slight tensions between Sansa and Arya because they left on Not So Well terms, they have also matured a lot, so i do think they would have an heartfelt reunion. Meanwhile Dany and Arya could bond because of both their connection to Braavos and Arya's admiration for those who free slaves, and Dany would empathize (and feel a common ground) with Sansa for her being a child who had all her family die and got married extremely young while beeing creeped on by older men, while Sansa, who is shown to admire women like Margaery or Myranda, who are shown to be very keen regarding politics or social issues, something that Dany is

In the end, i genuinely hope that all three of these traumatized little girls get their happy ending and none of them dies, they all are interesting and complex characters that share parallels with each other, and it sucks that because of stupid ship wars or discussions on who would get the throne they get pitted against each other. THEY WOULD BE FRIENDS Y'ALL

#anyways i am holding onto the hope that ADoS ends with dany legalizing gay marriage and marrying sansa #sorry if it gets super rambly and incoherent anon because i always tend to do this when i get an ask #i just want to tell you that your ask made my day and it was all on point!!!! i hope you have a nice week month year life #asoiaf

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skepsiss · 11 months

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Modern problems, Modern solutions pt 5

Ooph, it took me a while to get this out. It's a bit of a "transitional chapter" that involves quite a few 3rd parties. I think it's important to see how Eddie feels about all of this and what he thinks has happened. I also think it's pretty realistic for there to be this sort of "divergence" of who is on whose side. Not that I think that's smart or practical, just that is how everything seems to go in High School. Everyone has to take a side, even when the people involved don't want anyone to take a side.

Time for Robin to get maud.

TW: The D-slur (for lesbian), general verbal tussling, lots of insults, lots of swearing.

Pt1 Pt2 Pt3 Pt4 Pt5 Pt6

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Eddie was miserable for the rest of the weekend and had been in a sour mood when he got to school on Monday. He was so short-tempered he had even snapped at Wayne even though he had quietly apologized for it later. Still, more than anything Eddie hated that he was going to have to see Steve at school the next day. They didn’t have classes together, and he had no reason to interact with him if he didn’t want to, but even the idea of seeing his face in the hallway made his expression twist. What an absolute total shit. Steve knew how to be pleasant, how to be nice, and vaguely allude to being your friend, but everything was surface level. He didn’t actually care how you felt–that was a given–but he just didn’t want to make enemies either. It was this snide, fake way of existing, and that bothered Eddie more than anything. Here he was trying to be genuine, and all he had gotten for it was insulted and mistaken for being someone else. Framed as if he was the asshole, or the weirdo in the situation–every situation. Steve had been trying to apologize as if the insult of an apology over something like that would make everything okay. Eddie felt like an idiot. Like a loser. For whatever stupid reason he had thought that Steve didn’t see him that way.

There was no one at that party that was even remotely in the same social circle as him and now that he thought about it that sort of felt like that was done on purpose. It had been a mistake to show up to the party at all. They were probably all laughing about it behind his back now.

Eddie slouched around the school for most of the day and kept his head down in fear of having to deal with the jock crowd. He had been short with more than a few people, but he couldn’t find it in himself to feel bad about that. He didn’t want to give anyone even the smallest chance of an in to make fun of him. He didn’t want to hear even the tiniest jab and he sure as hell wasn’t going to tolerate having to talk to Steve Harrington if it came to that. Eddie’s attitude changed a bit at lunch when he opened his locker and an envelope fell out. There wasn’t much to the letter really, just a simple note that read ’for the weed’ with 30 bucks inside. It had made Eddie frown, but at the very least he felt a bit relieved that he hadn’t been swindled. It didn’t cure his bad mood, but it made him feel a little less on edge for the remainder of the day. It was still no secret that some people seemed to be giving him side-eye as he walked down the hallway, even if no one was doing anything overtly hostile.

Nothing happened day one, and Eddie felt grateful for that, but he still felt like a tool for thinking for even a split second that Steve and him were compatible. He hadn’t really liked Steve, it was just a fantasy really, even if the fantasy had involved a lot of assumed mutual attraction. It was stupid and he could see it as that now; thinking about it just made him mad. Tuesday was worse; Tuesday was worse because even though most of the day had been benign Eddie hadn’t gotten away home free at the end of the day. It had caught up to him in the parking lot of the school as he had tried to shuffle away from Hawkins’ High. It had caught up to him in the shape of Robin Buckley. Eddie had made it to the far side of the parking lot–far enough away that no one in their car could run him down if they had a mind to do it–but to his surprise, he could see Robin hoofing it towards him. It was club day so seeing Robin out here made it especially odd but he barely had time to register that as he noted the stormy expression on Robin’s face. “Eddie,” he said sternly, not raising her voice any louder than normal. She wasn’t talking as if she was just trying to get his attention, no, there was an edge of anger there as if she was his mother or something. The tone made Eddie sneer slightly and he turned away from Robin to continue walking. “Eddie! I’m talking to you,” Robin said firmly, not quite putting her hands on him, but cutting in front of him to make him stop walking. “I don’t want to hear it, Buck–” Eddie tried, only to get caught off as he watched Robin cross her arms and step into his path once again. “No, you’re listening to me, you’re listening to everything I have to say,” Robin interrupted and Eddie did take pause because of her expression. She looked pissed as hell–face red, the bags under her eyes especially dark–and the rhythmic chanting of the old saying ‘hell knows no fury like a woman’s scorn,’ rang through his mind. “I thought I’d give you a chance to apologize on your own–be a decent person about it, but you didn’t do squat on Monday,” Robin continued, which made Eddie’s expression twist with frustration. “Apologize–” he tried to interrupt, not beyond starting an argument. “Listening for once in your goddamn life,” Robin cursed, keeping steady eye contact, “people make mistakes, Eddie, I get it and you’re a prickly person, whatever–” “Hey–” “What. Ever! Listen! I’m trying to give you some grace here, and you’re lucky that Steve would be pissed at me if I flayed you, so you’re going to settle for listening to what I have to say because sure as hell he isn’t going to say it,” Robin huffed, her teeth bearing a bit. Great. So, this was about Steve. Eddie wanted to hear what she had to say even less now and he sidestepped Robin again only to have her walk after him, not deterred in the least. “You know for years I’ve been thinking oh, Eddie isn’t actually a bad guy, he just projects that image to get people to leave him alone, but then you turn around and do this bullshit? How dare you, how fucking dare you pull something like that and then walk around school on Monday with a chip on your shoulder–” “How dare I?” Eddie asked, whipping around to jam a finger in Robin’s face. “How dare I? You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, Buckley.”

“I sure as hell do,” Robin retorted, seemingly not intimidated enough by Eddie to back down despite the glassy look in her eyes. She was standing her ground and it probably helped that she and Eddie were the same height. She was a tall girl and was potentially stronger than Eddie if he thought about it–not that he was ever going to hit Robin, but jeez her expression made him wonder if she was going to be the one to throw a punch. “Your tough guy appearance and devil-may-care attitude isn’t going to do shit for you, Eddie. Steve is too nice of a guy to say any of this to your face, so I’m going to do it instead. How dare you. How dare you look someone in the eye and laugh at them when they’re trying to tell you something. You think it’s funny? You think it’s funny that Steve has been nothing but nice to you and because he’s an underclassman–or whatever fucking reason–you think it's funny to totally spit in his face? Be a total dick because he made a mistake and thought you were a decent fucking person? I regret sticking my neck out for you. I regret defending you and encouraging Steve to talk to you–you’re such an asshole! I thought you were better than those posturing cliques that toy with people’s emotions for the drama of it all, but you’re not. You’re the exact same as them,” Robin yelled, her voice not loud enough to carry across the parking lot, but loud enough to sound livid and have passersby look in their direction.

Eddie didn’t understand what she was getting at, but it was making his face red with anger and embarrassment. He was being reamed out. Why the hell was he being reamed out? So, now he was being gossiped about behind his back and having Robin Buckley of all people curse him out? He was being framed as the asshole? “What the hell are you talking about?” Eddie snarled, feeling his chin bunch up with the effort of not crying. He hated that he cried over every goddamn thing, and his attempt to control his tears was the only thing stopping him from yelling back properly at Robin.

“An apology isn’t nearly enough, but at least it’s something,” Robin continued, ignoring Eddie’s protests, “don’t even think about showing your face at Pride Club cause we sure as hell are not going to support anyone being a goddamn bully.” “What the hell are you talking about!” Eddie yelled again, finally raising his voice loud enough for anyone nearby to hear. “You’ve got absolutely no idea what you’re talking about! I don’t want to go to your dumb fucking club ever again anyways. You’re all a bunch of hypocrites. Fucking ‘love and acceptance’ my ass–” “Good! Then don’t come!” Robin shouted back stubbornly. “Sounds great to me!” Eddie declared, throwing his hands up in the air. “Have a great time patting yourselves on the back for being the world’s most gullible dyke.” “You’re a fucking asshole,” Robin chewed, “bye, prick!” “Good riddance, fucknut!” Eddie shouted loudly as he backed up and away from Robin, posturing. He saluted high into the sky only to turn around and flip Robin off as he walked away. She didn’t prolong the interaction and Eddie stole a quick look over his shoulder to see her storming back towards the school. What a piece of work. He was pissed that Robin had been turned against him–not that they were friends or anything like that, but it felt especially sinister to hear from her what tale Steve was spinning about that night. So, he was the bad guy, huh? He was the asshole in this situation? Figures. Steve was a tool. A complete and utter cunt lying to people about what went down and painting himself as the victim in the situation. Why not though, huh? Why not throw your weight around and make everyone else pick your battles? It was easier that way anyway. Eddie was going to be obliterated from the inside out and Steve wasn’t even going to need to lift a finger.

–

Eddie skipped Hellfire club later in the week, choosing to mope at home instead which got an angry slew of texts from the guys. He had ignored those too and had only emerged when Wayne knocked on his door declaring that Jeff had come to see him. The visit was under some guise that he needed help playing a part of a song he was trying to perfect. Eddie had seen through the rouse almost instantly but he hadn’t said anything. The conversation had naturally moved towards why he was so upset 20 minutes into Jeff’s visit, but Eddie had been grateful to do something with his hands in the interim. He had sneered and scowled, not wanting to talk about it and not wanting to be made fun of, but Jeff had seemed earnest in his attempts to pull the truth from him and eventually Eddie told him everything.

He didn’t go so far as to say he had liked Steve or anything like that, but he was the same as any guy and he thought Steve had maybe had a thing for him. That seemed far-fetched now, and he had just been holding out to maybe get lucky or something like that–he didn’t go into detail and it didn’t seem like Jeff wanted it anyway. The conversation was clipped and lacked real emotion until Eddie got to the bit about why he was pissed. He didn’t hold back either: telling Jeff how Steve had gotten drunk and then obviously started to flirt with him because he thought Eddie was someone else. How that had been a blow to his ego, but whatever; the real injury had happened when Steve had tried to make light of it all and Eddie had tried to offer a sympathetic ear, but that had blown up in his face. Steve had called him cruel for even asking and had acted like Eddie was pathetic for even trying to talk to him about it in the first place. How cruel it had been for Steve to be pretending this whole time to like him, even just as a friend. That had pissed him off, made him not like Steve, but the worst of it was the fact that he was spreading rumours about him now. He was already a social pariah, what was gossiping about how pathetic Eddie Munson was going to do to him for the rest of the school year? Jeff, in his defense, had tried to keep up as Eddie had explained everything lightning-fast with wayward details. By the end of it all Jeff seemed properly bothered by it as well and had commented on how stupid and lame it was that high school was so clique-y. Steve was an asshole. Steve should have realized that Eddie was just being nice. It was weirdly suspicious that he invited Eddie to his party when there was no one there that he knew.

Pretending this whole time to be interested in friendship for God knows what reason. And he had come onto him? Only to act like it was a joke in the end? What a tool. What an asshole. What a jock.

Complaining had made Eddie feel a bit better and Jeff getting mad on his behalf felt good. He was being defended properly and he liked that. It wouldn’t matter that much when they had to go back to school the next day, but it at least made Eddie feel like he wasn’t storming into battle without an army at his back. Maybe they were weak and lacked numbers, they were never going to win against the leagues of popular kids, but at the very least Eddie didn’t feel alone in this fight.

Days passed and the news had spread fast through Hellfire. Eddie wasn’t upset about that at all, in fact, it saved him from having to explain everything and he genuinely wasn’t sure he would have been able to talk to Dustin and Will about this. He wanted them on his side and if they remained neutral he’d be fine with that too, but the last thing he wanted was to hear them defending Steve.

Blissfully, nothing had been said to him and Eddie’s spine had stopped tingling once the week ended. He didn’t feel like everything was staring at him, even if Robin had glared at him every time they crossed paths in the hallway. That was the best things were going to get though and Eddie had no interest in entertaining the rumour-mill.

In fact, he had made it all the way to next Thursday without incident. Or at least ‘incident light’. He had seen Steve in the hallway once or twice, but they had pointedly ignored each other or simply walked down another hallway once they made eye contact.

Hellfire was on Thursdays and though Eddie’s mood was still low, it felt as if it could be helped along by seeing his friends and maybe throwing a few difficult encounters their way. “That isn’t true!” Someone yelled, and Eddie perked up as he walked down the hallway.

The school was mostly empty since the last bell, 20 minutes ago at least, and it was odd to hear someone yell this far away from the main classrooms. They hosted Hellfire in the classroom beside the theatre and for ‘special events’ they even got to use the theatre itself. Regardless of all of that, no one really came this way in the school unless there was a performance on or they were here for Hellfire.

“That’s not what I was told!” The yelling continued and Eddie frowned as he slouched forward. Were the guys having a fight over something? Great. He didn’t want to have to deal with that. He didn’t want to entertain someone else’s emotions when he had simply been looking forward to an easy hang and some D&D.

Eddie rounded the corner towards the theatre and his expression soured as he saw Robin and 2 other girls talking to Dustin, Will, and Jeff. Talking was a generous word even, they were straight up yelling at each other.

Eddie stopped where he was in the hallway, not eager to enter the fray, but unfortunately, he was spotted before he could turn tail. “Eddie!” Dustin exclaimed, jabbing his arm toward Robin and getting everyone else to look at him. “Tell them what you told Jeff!” Eddie bunched his shoulders up and frowned deeply, feeling his skin crawl when Robin turned to look at him. He did not want to deal with this. “It doesn’t matter! I don’t care about that–it’s real low though to tell Will he can’t come to Pride Club,” Robin exclaimed, glaring daggers down the hallway at Eddie. “What?” Eddie asked sharply, bunching his shoulders up more. “I never–” “He didn’t bane me,” Will interjected, his voice sounding shrill with anxiety as he spoke. “It’s my choice.” “Your choice because it was heavily implied, or your choice because that’s actually what you want?” One of the other girls with Robin asked, crossing her arms. “Whatever, let them do what they want,” Hannah scoffed, which made Robin shake her head.

“No, that’s so shitty. I’m not going to make you do anything, Will, but know that you’re still welcome, you don’t have to quit just because–”

“Oh, so Will is welcome but Eddie isn’t?” Jeff interrupted. Robin shot him a harsh look and he seemed to back down a bit. “This is why it matters!” Dustin yelled again, “I think you have it all wrong–Steve won’t even talk to me about it!”

“That’s his choice,” Robin replied, pursing her lips, “I’m not here to share his business with everyone.” Eddie clenched and unclenched his hands as he stood in the hallway, feeling frozen to the spot as everyone slung angry words back and forth at one another. It was hard to keep up with and it was making his anxiety spike as he listened to Dustin and Jeff trying to defend him, while Robin and the other girls tore him apart.

High school was so fucking stupid. This was all so fucking stupid.

Yeah, fuck this.

Eddie turned and started walking in the opposite direction. He could walk to the parking lot without passing anyone in front of the theatre; the last thing he wanted to do was walk past any of them. He’d just go home. He’d just crawl back into bed and wait for the blissful ignorance of sleep. “Eddie!” Dustin was yelling at him but he wasn’t turning around and he sure a hell wasn’t going to Hellfire today if he was going to have to sit there with this atmosphere hanging over him.

He made it as far as the doors before Dustin caught up with him, huffing hard as Eddie pushed his way out into the parking lot. “Eddie–wait up,” Dustin puffed, grabbing his arm as the door swung shut behind them. Eddie jerked away, his anger flaring as he wrestled with the fact that he wasn’t going to ever get a moment of peace ever again. Not as long as he was in school and he had 8 more months of this bullshit to deal with. “Fuckin’ don’t, okay?” Eddie sputtered, not actually mad at Dustin but not having anywhere else to direct his anger. “I’m done okay, I’m done with this bullshit. I’m done. She wants to harass all the guys outside of Hellfire every day, be my guest. I’m going home, I’m not dealing with this bullshit.” “She’s leaving, you can come back,” Dustin explained, which only made Eddie huff a laugh. His limbs felt like rubber as he swayed, not wanting to leave but not wanting to stay either. It was all such bullshit.

“I’m going home, Henderson,” Eddie lamented, rubbing his hand over his face as he lingered. He didn’t want to walk all the way home but he’d have to hang out here longer if he called Wayne for a ride. “What happened?” Dustin asked, which made Eddie groan as he forced one foot in front of the other and started walking. Dustin didn’t let up and started following him across the parking lot towards the forest behind the school.

“You know–Jeff told you I’m sure,” Eddie grumped, stuffing his hands in his pockets and rolling his shoulders. “Yeah, but–” Dustin tried, not stopping Eddie but keeping pace with him, “--that doesn’t sound like Steve.” Eddie laughed incredulously, rounding on Dustin and sneering at him.

“What? You think I’m lying?” He asked, trying to keep his eyes from prickling with emotion.

“No!” Dustin declared, almost too vehemently, “It’s just–maybe you both have it wrong. I don’t know! Steve can be a real idiot sometimes, but–but, when he messes up he owns up to it! He doesn’t–he isn’t vindictive like this.” “Yeah well, tomato-tamato, 'cause I’m living proof that isn’t true,” Eddie huffed, frowning deeply. He didn’t like hearing Dustin defending Steve, but at least he wasn’t making Eddie the one at fault for it all. “No, it’s just–Robin won’t talk to me about it, and Jeff says you told him that Steve was like… tricking you, man? Setting you up for some kind of joke and making fun of you or something like that?”

“Something like that,” Eddie confirmed nonchalantly, not wanting to talk about this, “seemed like it at least. Pretty much called me a villain for telling him he could talk to me honestly cause he was like… upset about something. Said I was cruel.”

Eddie stared down his nose at Dustin, not wanting to budge on this. Dustin didn’t seem convinced, but he was frowning as well as he listened to what Eddie had to say. Dustin was a smart kid, and Eddie could see the gears in his head turning.

“It just doesn’t make sense…” Dustin lamented quietly. They stood like that for another minute before Eddie turned and continued walking. “Are you…” Dustin started, not following Eddie this time.

“Yeah, go on without me. I’m going to go fall off a bridge to my demise, Belrog style,” Eddie grouched, throwing his hand up into the air in some kind of wayward goodbye. He could practically hear Dustin frowning, but he didn’t turn around and Dustin didn’t follow him. That was both a relief and a disappointment, but Eddie didn’t let himself dwell on that as he marched home on the edge of another breakdown.

Pt6

#Eddie is going to have some apologizing to do to Robin later #I want everyone to imagine Steve saying “He said that?” in the most broken-hearted voice in the world #modern problems modern solutions #eddie munson #my_writing #steve harrington #steddie #steddie au #steddie fic

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