#gilf posting

[microwave-core]

Oh God it's more Headcanons

To prepare for XC3 (because the DLC drops at like 9pm for some reason) I wrote more headcanons, mainly because I didn't have a specific character in mind to drabble about.

Sonia my beloved. God, Galar has so many great characters and yet I just don’t have the time to write for all of them… even those with banger designs. Anyways, Sonia. Where to even start with her.

Her hair is a mess. Humidity is her worst enemy. She spends dozens of minutes a day attempting to detangle it when the weather goes to shit. She would be forever indebted to you if you brushed her hair for her. Please just be careful, she will complain if you tug too hard.

Also be careful if you sleep next to her at night, because you very well may end up choking on her hair. Even just cuddling is risky business. You are never safe, not even if you are the little spoon. But it’s worth it because Sonia runs very warm, so it’s always comfy to hold her or rest in her arms.

Speaking of hair, she wants to style yours. Doesn’t matter what kind of hair you’ve got, she’ll find a way. Straight or curly or coils or braids or what have you, she will play with it. Doesn’t matter how long it is either. If you ask for a specific style, she’ll do it, but at some point she will weave little hearts into it to match her own. Don’t ask how she does it, it’s a secret.

Anyways, enough about that. I am absolutely obsessed with the idea of a kid rocking up to get their first pokemon from the Professor and her wife and their adopted son assistant. She’s just… so powerful I love her so much. 

Hop loves you. He ships you so hard with Sonia it’s unreal. He is Galar’s best wingman and will do everything in his power to get you two alone together. You guys could literally be married already and he would still be trying to set you guys up. And Leon is no different. Sonia’s his best friend and she talks about you all the time. This guy knows how much Sonia loves you and wants nothing more than for you two to be happy together. Sometimes a family is just a professor, her wife, their assistant, and his brother.

Not enough content for Big Sis Plumeria. She’s gotta take care of basically all Team Skull because they would never get anything done without her around, so she’d be immensely grateful if you either helped corral them or help her relax after constantly chasing after them.

She’s very much an “asshole to the world, sweetheart to her girl” type of girlfriend, mixed in with some tough love. She would never raise her voice at you or seriously insult you, something she does often with the grunts. The most she’ll do is mildly insult you for doing something stupid (as in she would call you an “idiot” or something along those lines), but it’s always evident that she’s more concerned than upset.

As long as you're her girl, no one is going to mess with you. Especially if you have a storied history. Asshole ex? Shitty family members? Straight up enemies? You don’t have to worry about those people anymore. 

Oh also all of the Team Skull grunts look up to you and would literally die for you. You’re Big Sis Two, their third favorite person. Also, if anything happened to you on their watch, they would have to face Plumeria’s wrath, which might as well be worse then Guzma’s

Slightly older contest-star Shauna who, despite being pretty girl-crazy, attempts to navigate her first serious relationship. I realize that I like Shauna more than most people, but hear me out.

When she went on a journey through Kalos with her friends, like stated above, she was completely girl-crazy. Literally every girl she met was the absolute prettiest woman she had ever seen (especially Diantha). But she never ended up getting into a relationship, despite wishing otherwise.

When she meets you, she is absolutely smitten. When you’re just friends, she dreams about you every waking minute. She really, really wants to hold your hand and kiss you and go on cute little dates to restaurants and picnics and do contests together and go shopping together and and everything else girlfriends do. She is obsessed. 

But once you start dating her, she’s a mess. She has all these things she wants to do with you, but she doesn’t know how to go about doing any of them, so sometimes she comes off as a little awkward in the most endearing way possible. She’s a little clumsy and hesitant when initiating affection, but every little thing you do together makes her so happy. It’s got the energy of a cute high school romance, just two dumbasses in love with each other.

Also she’s super supportive of you. Like Marnie, she is your personal cheerleader. She’ll bring up your achievements to everyone she comes across because she needs everyone to know how great you are and how lucky she is to be dating you. Please be supportive of her in return, she would actually ascend to heaven if she saw you in the audience of one of her contests.

Zisu… big woman. I don’t even have words to describe this absolute unit of a woman. She is far too powerful to fully put into words. Her strength is seemingly unending. She canonically trains with pokemon with her bare hands and could absolutely fuck all of them up.

She can bench press your ass, no matter your size or stature. She’ll carry you anywhere you want whenever you want, she’ll get anything you need off of the top shelf, she will lift up anything you need for whatever reason, and she will give you a little kiss on the forehead because she loves you very much.

If you’re afraid of Pokemon (which is pretty likely given the time period), she will do whatever it takes to help you get over your fears. Zisu is all the protection you need in Hisui. No Pokemon will ever get past her. But she would also like to help you get more comfortable with them, if nothing more than for her peace of mind. She can’t be there all the time, given her position in Team Galaxy.

But if you have a strong team, she would love to train with you. If you managed to beat her, she would love you forever. She’s hella strong, so she finds you being stronger than her in one aspect incredibly attractive. And if you managed to beat her in hand to hand combat? She would never recover.

I think Larry is objectively the funniest gym leader, but I whole-heartedly believe Iono is right behind him. I just think she is a funny little guy with an absolutely banger design.

As the most popular streamer in Paldea (I think), people across the region are going to know that you're dating. There is nothing you can do to avoid it. And Iono doesn’t want to hide your relationship. She wants to show you off.

Showing up on stream at least a few times is a mandatory part of dating her. Both Iono and chat love when you’re there. Sometimes Iono will warn you about what she’s planning beforehand, but other times she’ll leave you in the dark. Don’t worry, though, she won’t ever do anything that will make you uncomfortable.

More importantly, when dating Iono, you get to see the normal her, without the energetic streamer persona. Not to say that she’s completely different on stream, she just amps everything up for the camera. Off camera, she just wants to lay down with you and chill out. Let her complain about the weird people in her chat while you hold her close, she desperately needs it.

Outside of that, this girl loves to gossip. Tell her all about the drama you're dealing with or about the people you just don’t like, she eats that shit up. Likewise, she’ll also “spill the tea” as the kids say. She’s got a lot of people and things to tell you about, both big and small. Just promise to not blab to others about those she complains about. She already has to deal with too much weird shit to have time to deal with additional drama from other people.

Flannery is, like, an og waifu, or something like that. Anyways I like her because her design is sick and so is her gym aesthetic (at least in oras). Girlypop is confident in her abilities but she also only has a vague idea of what she’s doing and is just trying her best.

Being a rookie gym leader is hard, even if she is highly skilled. More importantly, it’s stressful. Thankfully, Lavaridge has a hot spring, giving her a perfect way to relax at the end of the day, and she is borderline desperate for you to join her. Listen, she just radiates disaster lesbian. Being in your presence helps her unwind as is, so pairing you up with the hotspring makes her melt. 

She is very dedicated to her training and would love it if you were to join her sometime. Be warned, it gets uncomfortably hot and you will most likely regret it almost immediately, so be prepared. She doesn’t ask you to join her because she doesn’t want you to accidentally strain yourself due to how rigorous it gets, but she’d let you if you asked (after warning you of how difficult it would be, of course).

She seems like someone that would enjoy hiking. Conveniently, there is a volcano right nearby to track up. Flannery desperately wants you to come with her because it would give her a chance to share something she loves with someone she loves. Don’t worry about getting tired, she will carry you up the remainder of the track, no sweat. When you make it to the top (or just find a clearing to rest at), you get to gaze at the beautiful scenery with her. 

Okay I now realize that I didn’t do much outside of the first point to show how much of a disaster she is but she just like… is. I cannot explain it, that is just the vibe she has. So even if she seems confident and held together in your presence, she is screaming in her head because you’re so pretty and she loves you AAAAA.

Oh shit I forgot about Tymeand Ryme for the gilf section of the last headcanon post fuck. Uhhhhh, I like them in the same way as the other gilfs in that they’re cool but ultimately they are funny little grandmas, so here comes your grandma posting.

Like the others, Tyme would totally bake you cookies and while eating them would help you do math. I don’t care if you’re not taking some kind of math class or if you're a student at all, she is going to help you do math. Someone has to teach you how to do your taxes, right? If that is not enough to entice you, then perhaps you would like to see her very cool rock collection, because she would totally have one, and a big one at that. Unrelated, but if you give her any kind of rock she could identify it immediately and would also cherish it dearly.

Ryme is the cool grandma. She doesn’t have time to bake cookies (she isn’t very good at it), but she makes up for it in other ways. You want to see a band or artist live? Just tell her, she’ll find a way to get you to that concert. She’d also let you get away with a lot of things, letting you off easy where others would be upset. Like, if you got into a fight with someone, she would lightly scold you then immediately ask if you won. She’d be really proud if you did and would comfort you if you didn’t. Also teaches you how to rap, but that much should be obvious.

Hopefully this is the last of the grandma posting because if I do this again it means I forgot someone else and I don’t think I did. I guess if there’s one major appeal to the gilfs it’s the domesticity of them? Like, you get the ideal of living your life alongside one another for such a long time, which is the dream, really. Girl I don’t know I’m gonna get back to regular unhinged scenarios sorry about this.

One professor was not enough for one post apparently because I wanna talk about Professor Juniper, the original hot professor. Ever the reliable woman, she will do all she can to lend a hand should you need it, but in return you need to put up with her deciding to do things before confirming with the other people involved beforehand.

Unlike most professors, Juniper has another professor to rely on, that being the other Juniper, so she does have a bit more free time on her hands. That being said, she is often doing things for other people, so she is pretty much as busy as the others. But because she’s just helping out other people and not completing research, she is definitely more accessible. Not going to say that she would hold off on helping someone to come help you if you were to need it, but she would do that (assuming that what she was doing before wasn’t urgent).

She loves to travel around the region, and would love it if you joined her. It’s not really a date, but it’s good quality time. Most of it is taken up by her rambling about the Pokemon that can be found in the area. She would also love it if you lent her a hand in her research. It’s a fun and cute little bonding activity, and it means you can spend more time together afterwards.

Like Sonia, the idea of rocking up to a lab only to be met by the professor and her loving wife is a very powerful one, but Sonia remains more powerful. After all, Juniper doesn’t usually give kids their starters in person, nor does she have an assistant whom she and her wife can semi-adopt.

As a side note, I considered using her first name because she has one, but I don’t know if that is common knowledge. It pops up at the very beginning of B2W2, but I didn’t realize it was there until, like, two days ago. 

Oh my God I forgot about Professor Magnolia because she isn’t even on my list of characters. I am so upset. And no I’m not going to fix this my moving her up to be with Tyme and Ryme because I need it to be known that I fucked this up here’s your grandma posting again and if I mess this up for a fourth time I’m going to be so upset with myself.

Magnolia is just a chill grandma. She always has cookies in her kitchen to give to Sonia. I’m pretty sure they live together so it’s not like she’s visiting her, but she feels that her granddaughter should always have access to finely made cookies. If you were to come over, she would break them out along with tea and have a surprisingly intellectual conversation. She may have given the professor title to Sonia, but she continues to delve into research, if nothing to fulfill her own self-interest.

These visits are especially interesting if you were, say, dating Sonia. She would give you all kinds of stories from when she was growing up. They aren’t particularly embarrassing, per say, but they usually embarrass Sonia anyways. She’s happy that her granddaughter has found both a path in life and someone to spend it with. In general, she would be interested in you as a person. She wants to have a good relationship with her future granddaughter-in-law, after all!

I swear to God if I forget another grandma (besides Cogita because I already write about her plenty) I’m going to lose it.

Let’s end this one with Misty. She’s normally sweet and bright, but she has a tendency to get snappy when annoyed, which tends to leave a greater impression on people than her regular nature since she easily gets frustrated.

Like all gym leaders, she has lots of responsibilities and is busy and also has an affinity for the type she uses. This is especially true for her since most of her designs are just swimsuits (good for you girlie). She will take you on walks all over Cerulean, as well as swimming in the water surrounding it. It’s her happy place, and she gets really annoyed when people interrupt the tranquil moment.

Sorry to say that it usually falls to you to keep her temper down in those situations. Remind her that it’s probably just a challenger looking to continue their journey and that you’ll get to continue your little date when she’s done. She’s still going to be annoyed, but it’s hard for her to remain bitter when she knows she gets to spend more time with you soon.

At some point, she wants to leave Cerulean and its gym for a while in order to go on a journey of her own. When she does, she wants you to come with her. Nothing sounds better to her than getting lost (metaphorically, she can’t stand actually getting lost) in nature with you by her side. Hopefully you don’t have something that could fry her bike because that would be pretty unfortunate.

I would say her sisters are supportive but they aren’t really there enough to know much about you. Sorry Misty. It’s a shame that they’ve been on the same cruise for twenty years. Someone should really check in with them.

[telestoapologist]

can i offer you all an assortment of destiny memes i’ve made in these trying times (2/????)

[da-birb-writes-sometimes]

Of Truths and Dreams; Lilia Vanrouge

Dreams can tell a lot about a person. Their wants, their fears. But sometimes they can tell you the truth, and sometimes it isn't pretty.

Supporting Characters; Baul (for a second), Sebek Zigvolt

Content; Soulmate AU (I call them soul matches), gender neutral reader, can be read as familial, platonic, or romantic, Chapter 7 spoilers, hurt/comfort, some General Vanrouge

Content Warning; Chapter 7 spoilers, war, death (talk, I don't describe it), angst? (idk man)

Word Count; 5.5 K

Don't put my works into AI, as AI steals in order to "create".

Sebek's Story | Malleus's Story

The Thorn Fairy had gifted a blessing to the fae, a blessing of soul matches. 

A connection forged between two souls. Such a connection is rare, and different variations do occur; primarily in beastmen and merfolk. Each clan had their unique soul match bonds. And the fae were no different. However, their history was not written down on paper, or carved into the corals. The information and history of fae soul matches was an oral history, passed down from generation to generation through hushed tones. 

To outsiders, they shrugged it off as just another odd behaviour of the clan, but the fae had good reason to be wary. In the past, the knowledge of fae soul matches was shared with an outsider, and because of that blunder of misplaced trust, the royal family was targeted. But that was many a queen’s reign ago. But the fae do not forget such transgressions, no; that story, that history, is used as a warning. Tell no one but whom you would trust your life with any information regarding your soul match, lest it be used against you. No one outside of the fae, save for their soul match, is to know of this most treasured bond.

Despite the secretiveness of fae soul matches, they were celebrated once they manifested themselves, as they were a blessing from the Thorn Fairy herself. There is a catch though; due to their long life spans, it can take years, decades, or even centuries in the very rare and unfortunate cases, for the bond between soul match partners to manifest itself. The only thing more unfortunate than it taking centuries is if their soul match were human… for a human lifespan is only a fraction that of even the more short-lived fae clans. It was seen as a tragedy, a doomed pairing from the beginning, with a heartbroken fae as the only possible answer. Such pairings were pitied, and seen as bad luck.

But what does the bond between soul matches take the form of within the fae? What does the Thorn Fairy’s blessing of soul matches look like?

There are many speculations on that. Many scholars say it is a mark on the body; a mole, or three scratches. But that is not correct. It is not a shared song, a stone messenger, or a coloured thread on their finger. And there is a written record of the bond as well; one just has to dig deep into the records, scrolls, and tomes that exist within the library of the former castle of the Draconia’s.

It is also a melody, a hum on the lips of many fae if by chance you are able to hear it. I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream. The soul match bonds between the fae and their match took the form of shared dreams, tinted the colour of their soul. They cannot truly see the other, or speak to each other, but the gleam in their eyes is one that will stay in their mind, as it is so familiar a gleam. 

…

…

…

Rest is a luxury, a luxury that Lilia could not spare. The war would not wait for the general to be well rested, or wait for him to have a nap. No, it would continue until it either ended with one side coming out the victor, or it would end with peace negotiations. Rest can wait. But the fae in his company were sleeping, and he was on the first watch.

But there was something else which made him avoid resting; his dreams. His dreams were black and white, devoid of any colour, and he was always alone in them. Yes, there may be other people, but they didn’t interact. His soul match was nowhere to be seen. Three hundred years and there has been absolutely nothing.

He wasn’t alone on watch duty though, Baul was beside him, staring out into the dark. 

“You need to rest,” he huffed, shooting a look towards Lilia from the corner of his eye. 

Lilia quirked a brow, but his gaze did not waver from the darkness of the forest. There was something out there, waiting. “I can rest when this is over.” His voice was cold, sharp, like that of a blade. “I cannot rest while a war is still being fought on our lands.”

Baul pushed his shoulders back and turned his eyes back to the darkness of the forest. “General, if you do not rest, it will eventually catch up to you. Whether you like it or not.” 

He was right, if Lilia did sleep, it would eventually catch up with him in the worst possible moment. The last thing that he needed was to fall into a microsleep in the middle of battle. Thirty seconds of vulnerability in the heat of conflict could spell the very end for him. He let out a tired sigh, “I suppose you are right. When our shift is over I can rest.”

After an uneventful night watch, save for the crack of a stick in the distance — which turned out to be nothing more than just a deer passing through — Lilia turned in for the night in his tent. He stared up to the ceiling, and tried to fall asleep, but the harder he tried the more difficult it became, but eventually exhaustion won over frustration and Lilia fell asleep.

His dream was black and white, as always. They have been devoid of colour for the past three hundred years, so why would they be any different now?

He was a child again, playing in a flower meadow with Malenoa and Levan. Well, Malenoa was playing whereas Levan had been dragged along against his will. And Lilia? Well, wherever the crown princess went, he followed; part of it being that they were friends, the other being that he was raised alongside her and swore to protect her.

“Lilia! Come on,” Malenoa shouted from across the glen, a big smile on her face. “Last one to the thicket is a rotten egg!” And she took off, dragging Levan behind her, the young boy letting out an undignified squawk.

Lilia gave chase, a peel of laughter escaping his lips. “That’s not fair! You got a head’s start!” He eventually caught up to the two royals at the large rose thicket on the outskirts of the meadow. “I guess I’m the rotten egg,” he huffed before sitting down next to a dishevelled looking Levan.

He didn’t really understand why the Thorn Fairy had bonded them together, Malenoa and Levan couldn’t be more opposite of each other. But soul matches do work in mysterious ways… But Lilia wondered when the Thorn Fairy would place that blessing onto him. He had spent, and would spend, his life serving the royal family after the queen had taken him in, so why didn’t the first of the royal bloodline deem him worthy?

Malenoa was looking at the roses until she found one that she liked. She plucked it from the stem, whispered a quiet thank you to the briar patch, and then placed it behind Lilia’s ear. A baby pink rose, but he could not see the colour of the flower, only that it was pale. A stark contrast against Lilia’s jet black hair.

“What’s that for,” he asked but did not dare remove the flower. He should have been used to Malenoa’s antics by now, but she still caught him off guard despite their time spent together.

Malenoa hummed, “Pink suits you, plus since you were the rotten egg, you stunk so badly that you needed the rose to cover up the smell.” She stuck out her tongue and pinched her nose with her fingers, giggling. “A stinky, stinky egg! Right, Levan?”

Levan looked tired, but he nodded his head. “Unfortunately it seems so.” He coughed, trying to cover up the chortle that nearly escaped his lips.

The easy nature of the dream shifted, the briars from the rose thicket separating Lilia from Malenoa and Levan. The thicket then caught on fire, smoking out the dream (the memory?) in a thick, dark, smoke.

Lilia woke with a start, and placed his hand over his heart. It was beating fast, and he was covered in sweat. He then heard a commotion coming from outside, and it wasn’t the usual squabbling he heard as people tried to barter over the best breakfast options.

He strided out into the camp, and he didn’t make it very far until one of the soldiers came clamouring over to him, tripping over their feet in the process.

“G-general!” They heaved, looking pale. “N-news! From the front lines!” They handed him a scroll before taking back off to their tent.

Lilia opened the scroll and his eyes froze, pupils contracting into harsh slits. The parchment crumpled in his tight fist, but he regained his composure. They had a war to end, but Lilia’s mission had shifted from that of victory for country. It had shifted to justice; to serve justice to the murders of Malenoa. For his friend, his family, for Levan, and for her unhatched egg; the hope, and now only future, for the Draconias.

…

…

…

Another four hundred years had passed, and Lilia’s dreams were still black and white. And where he may have had been bitter in his younger years, he no longer held that resentment. Yes, he still questioned why he had not received a soul match, but he had accepted that it was simply not to be. Besides, he now had more meaning in his life. He had been many things in his life; a friend, a soldier, an advisor, and now, a father. The silver haired baby that he had found years ago, Silver, was everything Lilia could ever really ask for. He loved Malleus, but not to the same degree as Silver; Malleus was the heir to the throne above all else.

Lilia was content with how things currently were, happy even. He had found his purpose.

“Hmm, this school year should prove interesting,” he hummed to himself. The ceremony was today, and it proved to be a most interesting one at that. He did wonder what the newcomer, the one not suitable to any dorm, would do. They didn’t seem like the type to just leave things alone. He shook his head though, and made himself comfortable in his bed, turning in for the night.

He was in the meadow of his youth again, but it was now overgrown. The vines from the rose thicket choking out all of the other flowers and grasses. And all but one rose was withered away. And this single rose was pink. Lilia could see colour, and the pink bled into the rest of the dream, casting everything in a rose-tinted light. 

After seven hundred years, the Thorn Fairy had finally answered his call. And everything was pink. “After all this time, now you have decided they can enter my life,” he whispered, looking directly at the rose. 

If he were younger, he would have been overjoyed, but Lilia knew that he did not have the commodity of time at his side. Despite the fae’s long lifespan, he was old, and his magic reservoir was running low. And the bitterness that he had since forgotten reappeared. “Why would you put them through this?”

He turned on his heel, but stopped. At the edge of the meadow was his soul match, he could not make out their face, appearance, nor their voice, but he knew it was them. “You should leave.” His words were not spoken, but were instead written in the air in glowing pink letters. But instead of turning around and leaving, they took a step forward, and then another, before coming to rest in front of Lilia.

“Who are you,” their words were written in pink letters, just like his. And even though he could not see their face, he could distinctly tell they wore an expression of confusion. “And why is everything pink?”

Lilia woke up to the sounds of his alarm going off, ripping him out of the dream. Why is everything pink? His soul match didn’t know what the colour ment, which could only mean one thing; his match was not fae. His soul match was mortal. And that revelation made a lump form in his throat.

He was worried about his soul match outliving him, that the possibility that he would outlive them never crossed his mind. Why had the Thorn Fairy chosen them? Why did she gift him an ending that would end in heartbreak?

…

…

Ever since finding yourself in Twisted Wonderland you started keeping a dream journal. Alongside the weird, and sometimes downright disturbing, dreams about future overblots, you had rose-tinted ones with a stranger in them. But they kept their distance. And you hadn’t found any answers for them. 

“Human!” The sharp shout from Sebek tore you away from your thoughts, as the first-year student was incredibly… loud. “Do you know how rude it is to ignore somebody when they are talking?! Did you not sleep last night?!” 

In the few months that you’ve been stuck here, you came to call the abrasive Diasomnia student a reluctant friend. He may be prickly, but it was his own way of showing that he cared… in his own roundabout way which usually involved yelling and non-intentional insults. 

Did you not sleep last night?! Yes, but it was anything but restful.

You were in the midst of a battlefield, which was now long over. The only evidence being the hollow armour of warriors long fallen. And, as in all of your dreams, there were roses everywhere. Their thorny vines creating a wall, trapping you and the pink stranger in together.

This wasn’t your dream, it was their’s… or more like a memory? It was all way too centred in reality, in mourning and loss, to be a dream. What did they live through?

“What happened here?” Your words floated gently in the air and only disappeared when the stranger noticed them.

They picked up a broken spear and held it gently in their grasp. “What do you think? War. War is what happened here.” Their words floated in front of you, and you could see the weight of them on their shoulders. “The dreams of many died here, the only thing remaining of them being the armour that was supposed to protect them.”

What the hell have they lived through? “... were you there?” 

The dream shifted, no longer were you standing on a long forgotten battlefield, now reclaimed by nature, but you were now sitting in a dark castle. Not even the pink hue over everything could brighten it.

The stranger went up the stairs. Go away, can you not tell I am not the best person for you? Our story will only end in hurt. But they said none of that, continuing to go up the long winding staircase. “Did you hear me? I asked you if you were there!” You yelled after them, following them up the spiralling staircase until the both of you came to a halt in front of a large wooden door, scorched at the bottom.

“Yes,” the words floated in your face before fading away. “I was there… I led the battle. I led them to death.”

I led them to death. You were sweating buckets, but before you knew what you were doing you wrote down a note in your dream journal

Roses. Thorns. Battle. Magic. War. You had no real idea what it all meant, but it was somewhere to start. A step in the direction of figuring what it all meant

“No,” you said, avoiding Sebek’s concerned gaze, “I didn’t sleep well… not at all.” You hadn’t slept soundly in weeks. You hadn’t had a pleasant dream since you woke up here. “Nightmares,” you whispered, “night after night. And a stranger, the same stranger, who is avoiding me.”

Sebek’s face paled, and he placed his hand on your shoulder. “Human,” his voice was now quiet, guarded. He led you to a classroom and made sure no one was around. “Are these dreams a certain colour? Do words float in the air? Can you not make out their face?” Even though this was the quietest that he has spoken, it was also the most serious Sebek had been with you. 

You nodded your head, “All of that, yes. How did you know?” Your brows pinched, and you let out a deep sigh. “Sebek, if you know something, please, just tell me.”

Sebek was fighting a war in his head; tell the truth to you, or keep the fae soul match a secret. But the dark bags under your eyes told him enough. “You have a soul match, and they are fae. I’m… sorry.”

The bell rang and he was off to his next class, leaving you alone with this world altering information. I have a soul match? They’re fae? … why did he look so sad for me?

…

…

…

Lilia noticed something off about Sebek the moment he walked, or rather stormed, to the confines of his room. So, he followed, gently knocking at the door, waiting for an answer.

“May I come in?”

He heard Sebek scramble up and open the door. “Of course, Lilia-sama!” He was just like his grandfather; loud, a bit too stiff for his own good, but loyal, almost to a fault. 

Lilia walked over to the bed, and patted the spot beside him. “Come, sit. You seem to be carrying quite the burden.” He had noticed Sebek’s odd behaviour all day, and it wasn’t like him to do so. “Come now, out with it.”

Sebek picked at a loose thread on his bedding, and massaged his temple. “It’s about soul matches.”

Lilia felt the lump in his throat form again. “What about them? They are a blessing from the Thorn Fairy herself. Who are we to question her decision-”

“A human disclosed that they have a soul match, a fae soul match. And I told them that. I broke the oath to not tell anyone!” Sebek clenched his fists and looked down at the floor. “They aren’t even my soul match, and I told them!”

Lilia placed his hand on Sebek’s back, and started patting him on the back. A gesture that meant everything was going to be okay. “Well,” a breathy chuckle escaped his lips, a soft smile on his face, “they deserve to know what is ahead of them, do they not?”

Like I have been trying to tell mine, but they still have not left it alone. They keep on showing up, night after night.

Sebek seemed to calm down, but there was still a lot weighing heavy in his mind. “It’s not my place to talk. It is for them, and their match to decide. But,” he took a deep breath, and that familiar intensity in his eyes was back, “I can’t help but worry.”

Lilia recognized the look in his pseudo-adopted son’s eyes, it all too well reflected the look Baul would get before battle. And this was Sebek, concerned for a human, which would only mean one thing; whoever they were, they were a friend of his. And that narrowed everything down. Time to do some sleuthing of my own. “They’re strong, most likely stubborn. They shall be fine,” his voice was light, trying to brighten the atmosphere of the room. “It’s late, you should really get some rest.”

With that, Lilia walked out of the room and softly closed the door. There was something that he needed to do tonight, in his dream.

…

…

This dream was different from all the others. There were no signs of the thorny brambles of roses. There were no signs of war. No, instead Lilia found himself in the courtyard of Night Raven College, the sun high overhead and a slight breeze playing with loose leaves. This wasn’t his dream; it was his soul match’s. And you were sitting under a tree, looking up at the sky, just watching the clouds pass by. 

“This is a nice change of pace,” the pink words drifted slowly in the wind. “Better than nightmares and bad memories.”

Lilia felt a twinge of guilt. Better than nightmares and bad memories. Those were his doing. And instead of him being subjected to your nightmares and memories that you would rather forget, the both of them were here, in a quiet moment in time. There was no war, there was no loss. There was only you and Lilia, and an easy feeling. “You are too kind,” he sighed. Thank you. That is what he meant.

You hummed, “I can’t control my dreams, so it’s really just a fluke.” You sighed and rested your head against the tree, closing your eyes and enjoying the filtered sunlight. “I’m just happy it’s a pleasant one.”

“As am I,” he took a seat next to you and looked up to the sky, watching the clouds aimlessly pass by. I need to tell them. “It is cruel, what the Thorn Fairy has done to you. Gifting you a fae soul match.”

You turned your head towards him. Even though you couldn’t truly see who they were, you could see that they carried a lot on their shoulders. You didn’t say anything though, but instead offered your silence as an indicator for him to continue.

“How much do you know about soul matches?” It is their and their soul match’s decision. He wanted to tell them everything, so that they could decide for themself if they wanted him in their life.

You sighed. So now they decide to tell me? “Pretty much nothin’. Just the basics; soul matches exist, which I can kinda infer what it means, they’re gifted by the Thorn Fairy, and you’re fae. I have found absolutely nothing that even talks about the subject, and nobody but my one friend has mentioned it.”

Nobody but my one friend has mentioned it. Were they friends with Sebek? That would narrow down everything drastically, and would also explain why they were relaxing at Night Raven College in their dream. Lilia knew them. They were already closer than he ever thought. 

“So, please,” you turned to look at the stranger, your soul match, eyes gleaming gently. “Tell me, tell me everything.”

So he did, he and you sat under the tree for the entirety of the dream, discussing what soul matches were, the different forms and bonds they come in, and what you could expect from this. 

I know you, that look in your eye is so familiar a gleam.

…

…

Ever since that dream from a few days ago, you have noticed your soul match get more playful and teasing in your dreams. They no longer held you at a distance, it was a drastic but welcomed change. The cold was gone, and instead there was warmth. But something still felt off. With everything that has happened, with seeing each other's dreams and memories, you still didn’t know who they were. And everytime you tried to tell them your name, the words didn’t form. It was annoying.

“Something on your mind, Prefect,” a familiar teasing voice chuckled from behind you. Lilia shot you a teasing smile, eyes twinkling with mischief. He used to startle you whenever he decided to sneak up on you, but you grew accustomed to his playful nature. 

You shot him a look, but then shook your head and chuckled. “Just thinking is all. What about you?” You had noticed that Lilia had gotten more lively, the dark cloud that seemed to hang around him for the past few weeks had seemed to vanish. “You seem to be in a more chipper mood,” you chuckled.

 He gave you a quiet chortle, the only real evidence of it being the subtle movement of his shoulders and the quiet exhale from his lips. His magenta eyes gleamed softly in the dim lighting of the hallway. They were familiar, but you could have sworn that you had seen them somewhere before, but the answer was avoiding you.

“Just a lot has happened is all, and it brought a surprise with it.” Lilia was cryptic, but it was a part of his odd charm. A mix of something old beyond your years, and a more youthful impishness. It was endearing.

He reminded you of somebody, but you couldn’t quite place your finger on it. “Fine then, old man, keep your secrets. One day I’ll make you spill.”

The two of you exploded with laughter, and Lilia patted you on the shoulder. “Maybe someday. I’ll be looking forward to it, Prefect.” He waved you goodbye as he made his way to his next class. Leaving you alone in the hallway. 

You hummed to yourself as you made your way to your next class, History of Magic, where Trein was preparing on his lecture to tell the first years about the fae-human wars. Something that you had already witnessed the aftermath of, despite not knowing it at the time. After all, that’s what that one dream was about; the one of the meadow, the rose briars, and the rusting armour laying half buried in the earth. But you didn’t know the true horrors of war, and your soul match made sure that you would never have to witness what he had.

…

…

…

You were back in the meadow, in the middle of the fray. No longer were the rusted armours and broken weapons half buried, their wielders were alive again, and you were caught in the middle of it. The sky was an angry shade of pink, and thunder rumbled ominous in the distance… nope that was cannon fire.

Everything was absolute chaos, and you were thankful that nothing could harm you in the dreams, but that didn’t make you flinch any less whenever a ghost arrow flied through the air. Or maybe it would be more accurate to call you the ghost. You weren’t going to dwell on that though, since you didn’t want to push your luck. Something you seemed to be in short supply of.

You saw a flash in front of you, and a bat-masked figure was in front of you, glowing red eyes staring at you, before running back into the battle. Even though this was a dream, you could have sworn that they saw you. And then you were ripped away from the battle ground, being pulled up by your underarms. Looking up you saw the fuzzy and distorted visage of your soul match, pulling you away from danger.

“What were you doing?!” They snapped at you. You couldn’t hear what they were saying, but you could infer their tone and emotion from their body language and you know, hauling your ass away from danger.

You patted their forearm, and looked back down to the flashes of magic and metal gleaming in the waning light of the setting sun. “Were you here? This is more than a dream, isn’t it? This is a memory.” 

Dreams are often a flight of fancy, but for Lilia, and for you, they were more than randomly concocted scenarios played out by the sleeping mind. These dreams held truth, the dreams were memories. And this memory showed the most impactful one.

“How many?”

That statement could mean so many things. It could mean how many battles. How many lives were lost. How many lives had he taken. “Too many to count,” is what he decided on saying. It was true though, Lilia had lost count of how many times he had done all of those things. “You must think of me as cruel,” a sad yet harsh laugh left his mouth, and he looked down at you. “A monster.”

You looked back. There was sadness in your match’s eyes, but also a tiredness. “I don’t think you’re a monster, or cruel though.”

Lilia looked into your eyes. You were being honest, sincere, and your eyes showed that. They were the only part of you that he could clearly make out. They were familiar, they were warm. “I am down there though, leading the assault… against the humans.” Against you.

“The past is the past. What is done, is done. We can’t change that.” Leading the assault… didn’t Professor Trein talk about the wars today? “I won’t judge you based on your past, especially if you’re super old which I know pretty well that your are, gramps. But you can’t change it. It has left its scars, but what matters most is the present and what lies ahead.”

You were right, and Lilia felt foolish to let that small part of himself, the insecurity of not being wanted, fester. “I’m the old one? You sound far more wiser than your years… you whippersnapper.”

The battle faded away, and the two of you floated down to the meadow. It had morphed, morphed back into the meadow of Lilia’s youth; filled with wildflowers, grasses, and the rose thicket was in full bloom. And if you listened close enough, you could hear the laughter of a young girl in the breeze as a raven flew overhead.

…

…

Lilia needed to find you. Your dreams were filled with premonitions, and they sat heavy in his mind at the repercussions they could make. They sent off alarm bells in his mind. Lilia was in a tizzy. I have to find them.

His magic was running out, and he knew that his lifespan had shortened drastically. He would be lucky to live another sixty or seventy years, which was nothing in the eyes of many fae. But that was a human lifetime. A lifetime that could be spent with not just Silver and Sebek, but you. He wanted to find you. He didn’t care what form your soul match bond took; be it like the relationship of family, of friends, or of lovers. He wanted to find you, needed to find you.

I know you, that look in your eyes is so familiar a gleam. Those eyes, they were the only part of you that he could ever make out. Eyes filled with mischief, responsibility, curiosity, and kindness. He knew those eyes. They were your eyes, the Ramshackle Prefect’s eyes. How could I be so blind?

It made all too much sense. The dreams had only started when you showed up. He felt drawn to you, like a moth to flame. It made sense that you would be the human that had made Sebek drop his guard and tell a human about fae soul matches. It made all of the sense in the world. And it had taken until now for him to realise. Perhaps he really was an ‘old man’ and already going senile like you joked, both in and out of the dreams.

That is how he came to find himself at your front door, in the middle of the night, still wearing his hot pink and neon green pyjamas. All because of the one dream, the most recent dream of overblot, and his own realisation of who you truly were. So he knocked three times, and waited for you to come down.

You groaned awake, the faint memory of the dream still weighing heavy on your mind. I can never catch a break, huh? I swear if it’s Ace I’m going to drop kick him. You begrudgingly made your way to the front door, and opened it right as a yawn escaped your mouth. “Lilia?”

What was Lilia doing at your front door? It was like two in the morning… although his bat print pyjamas were pretty great. Was that ‘Bat-tastic’ written in swirly font? Where in Twisted Wonderland had he found that?

“What are you doing here?” Was what you said instead. 

“Do you recognize me,” he whispered, taking your hands in his, rubbing his thumb over your knuckles.

Recognize you? “Your Lilia, of course I recognize you, old man.”

He looked at you, magenta eyes practically glowing in the dark. Familiar magenta eyes. Eyes that held such familiar a gleam… as if you had seen them countless times in your dreams, tinted a paler shade of the colour. “Prefect, have we met before? I could have sworn that I met you… once upon a dream?”

It all made sense. It all made sense. The coldness at first, the memories of war, the playfulness. Why everything was pink. Your match, the perceived stranger, was no stranger at all. They were Lilia.

“So you’re them,” you said softly. “We’re soul matches?”

He shot you a playful wink, “It would seem so. And I’m happy that you are them, and they, you.”

All of those centuries spent alone, wondering why the Thorn Fairy had not granted him the blessing of having a soul match, and then the confusion of finally receiving one after years of nothing, now had an answer. It was you, and Lilia knew that the seven hundred years may have been lonely, but whatever time he had left, he would be more than happy to spend with you. 

Fin!

Author's Note; Enjoy this word vomit. If you want to read more, do check out my masterlist.

Tags; @xxoomiii @eynnwwyjth @twistwonderlanddevotee @savanaclaw1996 @identity-theft-101

[rainymoodlet]

save a spaceheater, snuggle a cowboy 🏜️

[grimvestige]

Let's go, fighting from the heart / I'll tear the world apart / No, I can't stand to see you be with anyone but me

---

Shaking my GM (/pos) for using this as nightmare fodder for tiarnán in last night's session

[deevotee]

This but its ppl calling tumblr sexymen with no wrinkles gilfs

Like there is a capital G Gilf right here!

[kithehedraws]

Miami when he found out he lost to a Rick that’s not even a real #gilf™️

The @ultimaterickshowdown is now down to Rickbot and Memory Rick lol

[fbisgayesttrio]

Some gilf Skinner appreciation

[cubey-cube]

@lex-the-lesbiann PLEASE STOP REBLOGGING MY OLD ART PLEASE I'M IN TEARS PLEASE. /J/NM

Autumn and LINDAAA DOODLE AWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

[flashhwing]

Critical Role Sexyman Round 1

eshteross art by @shrugsinchinese (link)

gilmore art by @wehavekookies (link)

[anxiously-sidequesting]

Sorry to be polluting this fandom even further with my bullshit but seeing Dasein stand up for himself to those world heads was hot as fuck bro...

[grendelsmilf]

older frog girls sketchdump. bc the brainrot is real

[wajjs]

grabbing that old man and stimulating his tits until he starts lactating. now i have acquired raw material and can start a chain of production. milking that old man in a sterilized environment, wearing gloves, face mask, sterile clothes, as to make the process as clean as possible. feeding that old man vitamins and proteins and fats to keep the milk rich and creamy and flowing. milking him, pasteurizing his milk and bottling it up. selling part of the milk to bakeries and chain grocery stores. making bank using the old man. the old man's payment is having his tits played with 24/7 and all his needs met. i become a billionaire in 3 days. i start recruiting more old men. they too want fat leaky tits that are milked on the daily.

[rushingheadlong]

okay, last post about the tank top (for now, until we inevitably get more photos) but setting aside the flailing and thirsting and excitement and everything else for a moment here

more than anything I am just SO happy that Brian felt comfortable enough to wear that tank top out onstage again without anything else over it

because he's obviously been using tank tops as his undershirt for the entire tour so far but even with everything being posted from soundchecks and hotels and his stationary bike we haven't seen him in just the tank on this tour before. he's wearing these constantly now, nearly daily, and until Halloween every image of him from this tour had been with an overshirt on or wearing a different t-shirt entirely.

and we know that Brian had(/has) body image issues and if you look at his entire wardrobe over the entire course of his life it's pretty freaking obvious that at least some of those issues are with his torso and shoulders. yes he's allergic to buttons but how many photos do we have of him actually shirtless compared to, say, Roger or Freddie?

more than that, how many times has he performed with Queen while wearing a tank top? I'll tell you right now you can count it on one hand and it's never been during a Queen concert specifically. the closest he's ever gotten has been rolling up his sleeves during the Q+PR years, or the handful of times he did the same in the 80s.

"we was glam!" Brian once said, and honestly that's probably a large reason why he's never worn tanks onstage with Queen before. because Queen's aesthetic is very different than that of his solo tours, and Q+AL is very different from Q+PR in that the glam vibes that Adam brings allow Brian to return to some of his own stage costume roots. Brian has a wild number of shirt and/or outfit changes during the show, and even the "street clothes" he wears on stage are sparklier than they ever were during the Q+PR years - not to mention that he's actually wearing costumes again, with the borhap solo outfits and the military jackets and everything else he does.

Brian may not be "fashionable" in the sense of being into fashion, following trends, etc. but he has always been extremely aware of how to follow the fashion in Queen specifically (and one day I'll write up that post about how Brian and Freddie continued wearing "costumes" onstage long past the point where Roger and John stopped....). it's really obvious when you look at Brian on the Magic Tour, where his stagewear is mostly just street clothes that vibe with what Roger and John are wearing, but he still pulls out those fabulous coats towards the end of the show to match the grandeur and spectacle that comes with a Queen finale.

Brian is clearly comfortable wearing tank tops in general but it's a very different matter for him to a) wear them publicly, where there will be photos and videos of it on the internet forever and b) wear them during a Queen show in 2023 when they match nothing else going on with his stagewear for this tour.

and I don't want to spend a lot of time on Point A because I am sick to fucking death of trying to get this fandom to understand that cracking "jokes" about the visible signs of natural aging (like the shoulder hair) isn't actually funny, especially when people are doing it on platforms that Brian himself is on like instagram

but with regards to Point B, like... there was just no reason for Brian to do this. there's no reason he couldn't have worn the Frank mask with the mirror ball suit, or if there was a reason he still could've worn an overshirt like he did when they had timing issues and he couldn't do his quick-change a few shows back.

but clearly Brian wanted to do this. he wanted THAT to be his Halloween costume specifically - not the mirror suit or his stagewear with a mask added, but a full outfit that was specifically unique for that moment in that show even if it was pulled from other clothing pieces he already had on hand.

it's a choice that, for about 20 seconds, made him completely visually different from anything anyone else had worn during that show. it's a choice that doesn't fully match Queen's aesthetic, either then or now, and it's a choice that's already generating some questionable "teasing" at his expense.

Brian has always had his physical appearance put under a microscope. from his height to his hair, the clogs to the unbuttoned shirts, by sheer virtue of the fact that he exists in the public eye Brian cannot wear anything without getting comments and critiques on it to some degree. and as he's aged those comments have naturally shifted to be about his aging - about his decision to dye or stop dyeing his hair, about how much skin he shows and how appealing the rest of the world finds that, how much body hair he now has and the small belly he's gained and everything else that comes along when you're a human being who's been alive for 70+ years.

but despite all of that, Brian wore that tank top on stage.

despite the dozens of reasons why this could have been a bad idea, despite the wildly varying opinions I've already seen, despite the aesthetic of Queen and this tour, despite the routine they already have for his outfit changes, despite the fact that this was always going to special because of the green lights and the Frank mask...

despite everything... Brian stripped down to that tank and stepped onto the raising platform without wearing any of his glam overshirts or special-made costumes, knowing that the thousands of people in that venue were waiting to get pictures and videos of that solo, and that he'd be opening himself up to very specific criticisms about his appearance by doing this.

and Brian was still confident enough, comfortable enough, in himself to do that during possible the highest-stakes moment in the entire show.

so yeah, I'm excited because there's new tank top content and I'm not above admitting that I personally find this sort of confidence very sexy even on a man of Brian's age

but I'm also just happy FOR Brian with this - happy that it went off without a hitch, happy that it has mostly been well-received by fans, happy that he seems to have had fun with it and, above all else, happy to see that any lingering self-doubts or body image issues aren't enough to stop him from giving us a moment like this.

[joelletwo]

^ gola

[lambjock]

evil girlboss & her evil boyfriend ( one of her bfs anyway! )