#girard draketooth

[grassknotts]

Felt inspired tonight lmao

[oots-out-of-context]

[undervaluedagent]

I just saw and reblogged a post about how Girard and Serini don't like Soon, and ofc there's stupid and unreasonable reasons that go into that, but also consider: Girard and Serini might be apprehensive about paladins partially due to being part "evil" creature. Like, it was a whole thing that paladins would just kill creatures that registered as evil without asking questions first. A woman who's visibly part troll and a man who's connected to chromatic dragons would naturally have some reservations about that.

[twilightofthesandwiches]

[copperpieceharlot]

Soon and Girard glaring at each other from either side of a Go board send tweet

fun fact: I have no clue how Go works

honestly i see Soon as the kind of guy to simply be glad that Girard is even Entertaining the idea of learning Go. like, MAYBE, just maybe, he’ll pick up some patience and planning skills from it.... but probably not.

[vebirascanvas]

GIRARD DRAKETOOTH

>:) at your service

toss a coin to your artist

[rcbirdy]

Knowing that the party would never travel again after what had been said, Serini devised a compromise that would allow the five adventurers to part ways while still protecting the five gates.

[geekofchaos]

So apparently parts of the OOTS fandom especially on A03 ship Girard Draketooth and Soon Kim. 

The fuck, guys? 

Now before anybody gets pissed at me, this isn’t about it being a slash ship. 

This is about the paranoid hypocritical self-righteous asshole and cult leader called Girard Draketooth not being close to worthy of Soon Kim - the man who made the right but tough call about Kraagor, almost took out Xykon and was probably the only member of the Order of the Scribble who kept his fucking word. 

[somebodyssherlock-heterodyne]

Order of the Scribble memes upgraded.

Lirian: Hewwo! I wiww be youw dowctow twoday. Intewnal bweeding you say? Wets make ouw fiwst widdle incision.

Soon: Dowctow! We'we wosing him!

Lirian: Oh no! Quick! Hand me the defibwiwator!

Girard, deeply regretting pissing off the party healers: Please... Just unplug my fucking life support.

-

Kraagor, talking to Lirian: I've cracked it. Smaller animals are angrier because they have less space to contain their rage.

Lirian: That's ridiculous. Give me one example.

Soon, tromping into the tavern, covered in the solo encounter at the town market: Wasps.

Serini, lounging on the ceiling beams above the two: Chihuahuas.

Girard, filing his nails and pointedly sprawling across the paladin's spot at the table: Kraagor.

Kraagor: ...

Serini: Girard RUN-

-

Soon, talking to the latest boss monster: We will defeat you, evildoer!

Lirian: With the powers of love!

Dorukan: Friendship!

Kraagor: Extreme violence.

Serini: And teamwork!

-

Random cop in whatever city the Order is wreaking havoc in now: Sir, you're under arrest for trying to fly four people on a two-person flying carpet.

Girard: Wait, four?

Serini, behind him: Yeah, he said four, why?

Girard: Dorukan fucking FELL OFF!

-

Soon and Girard, giving into their respective rages and beating the living shit out of each other: *sounds of swords clashing, curse words in Common and Draconic, etc*

Lirian: Can I get my spell components? CAN I PLEASE GET MY SPELL COMPONENTS!?

-

Dorukan, telling the Order what he learned about the latest Gate: Okay, listen up, assholes. I wanted to sleep in today, but I've got to deal with you fuckers instead.

Dorukan: Except you Lirian, you're and angel and we're thrilled to have you.

-

Girard and Soon, sitting in a boat in the ocean between Azure City and the Western Continent, no land in sight:

Soon: Did you ever imagine it would end like this, Girard?

Girard: Lirian's fursona is a surprise.

Lirian, in dire bear form: *grunt*.

-

That's all for today.

[andromeda3116]

Thanks for reminding me about order of the stick, i haven't read it since i was in high school. Its been so long that I've forgotten a lot of the story but i do remember it had some really interesting stuff going on. I'll have to give it a reread at some point. :)

It's definitely worth catching up on, especially now that we're finally getting to the end! It's also about to hit its 20th birthday, which is incredible! (And goes a long way towards explaining some of the early-installment weirdness and cringe -- when the first strip was drawn, I was in middle school, for chrissakes!)

It really deserves to experience a resurgence now, with the popularity of DND. The story and characterization are just amazing, and I'm in awe of the -- well, the balls of Rich Burlew, as a storyteller, to make some of the story choices he's made. Without spoiling too many things, he's had the characters doing and going through many situations that most authors would hesitate to actually commit to.

Since I've already talked about the soul splice arc, and since it's over ten years old now, that's one of them -- to have one of your Good Guys go that far down. There are several points leading up to that arc where any DM would've gone "...are you sure?" I mean, the familicide spell is so evil that it makes the demons' jaws drop in silent horror. And then to commit to it! Oh, you thought it was just about dragons and pissing off Tiamat? Hmm, what was that about Girard Draketooth...?

It's easy, as a writer (and as a DND player), to want to back away from the worst-case scenarios. To make things not be that bad. But no. What V did really was that bad. And to have written it so that it actually was completely in-character was just... man. I could go on and on about that storytelling choice, but shit.

Order of the Stick needs more fans! Just get through the first couple of books, I swear it'll be worth it!

[jiskblr]

Okay, actually I’m going to defend GG’s honor. It’s not actually unusually slow, for a plot-focused webcomic. (Though for full honesty, I should correct you: Agatha entered the castle on December 27th, 2007. Or February 2nd, 2008 depending on whether you count before or after the doors lock her in.)

The canonical example is probably Order of the Stick. Three days after Homestuck started, Rich put out It’s Where The Cool Kids Swim, strip #645, during V’s evil arc, shortly after the Familicide, when they recontact Haley and Belkar. 

Three days after Homestuck ended was Credits and Deductions, #884, in the desert pyramid, shortly after Durkon gets vampirized and just before the fantasy-world trap.

That’s starting in mid-to-late Don’t Split the Party (book 4 of OotS) and ending in mid-late Blood Runs in the Family (book 5). To borrow the plot summaries for those books:

Deal with the Devil (and the other two Fiends) Vaarsuvius teleports to Xykon's tower to kill Xykon. V grossly underestimates Xykon's shrewdness and is brutally defeated O-Chul breaks free Blackwing tries to drop the phylactery into the rift MitD teleports V and Mr. Stiffly O-Chul out of Xykon’s grasp

The Order is Reunited Mostly just some foreshowing of book 5, but we also learn about the planet inside the rifts.

Save Room for Desert Arrival on the continent, planning their search for Girard’s Gate

Face the Nation Recloak hands over Gobbotopia to Jirix. The Azurite Resistance attacks and has some success.

Farther, Sun, and Slaughter The Order try to find leads, and fail. Bounty hunters catch ‘Nale’ and associates, and the other half of the Order is arrested for lacking entry papers. We meet Tarquin and Malack. Blood Will Out More of Tarquin, Malack, and the Empire of Blood. Elan realizes Tarquin is evil.

All the Wrong Places A hobgoblin finds Xykon's phylactery The Resistance intervenes -  but they’re crushed Redcloak kills Tsukiko for threatening to reveal that the ritual isn’t what he’s told Xykon it is. Team Evil leaves to look for Girard’s Gate The Order find the Draketooth compound and V realizes why they’re all dead.

That’s more things than happened in the GG Castle arc. But not much more.

Webcomics just aren’t a fast-moving format.

Girl Genius updates 3 times a week.

Sometime in mid-to-late 2008, Agatha entered castle Heterodyne to fix it. I’m not sure the exact date because I can’t be assed, but here’s a page from November 2008 in which she’s already in.

On April 13th, 2009, a minimum of 6 months after Agatha entered the castle, Homestuck, one of the most notoriously slow-paced comics in existence, started. In Homestuck, John spent hundreds of pages fucking around with cakes until his house was nearly destroyed by a meteor. He escaped to another planet using a magical video game, along with three of his friends.

John and his friends played this game, while being harassed by trolls from another universe, leading to many confusing shenanigans involving time travel. Some of these confusing time travel shenanigans resulted in John cloning several characters, and sending them back in time to grow up into themselves. Things were going well, except a convoluted series of events caused a maniac to gain the powers of the final boss and start killing everyone early, going so far as to destroy an entire moon.

One of the survivors of the madman’s rampage went on to go to post-apocalyptic earth and have many adventures.

We then cut away for several months to meet all the trolls, learn their backstories, and follow them as they created the universe in which humanity exists, while forming abusive relationships and doing drugs. They are attacked by a godlike being before being able to claim their ultimate reward, and that is why they are hiding in a lab trolling people through time.

The godlike being, of course (for this series) ends up being created by our heroes accidentally, with a little prodding from a particularly crazy troll who wants to Mary Sue herself into every situation possible. The godlike being kills a lot of characters, and the kids realize that they can no longer win. They resolve to reset time altogether, creating a new timeline in which they are hopefully less incompetent. As this will result in the original versions getting erased, they get very depressed about it.

Also depressed are the trolls, who end up killing each other for a bit in a long arc. Five minor characters and one major character end up not surviving.

After several months of no updates because Hussie wanted to do a big Flash video, the kids execute their plan, but have been manipulated by a bad guy who wants to use Time Travel to ensure his own invincibility. Both the human and troll universes are destroyed, but the kids manage to escape and head to the new timeline they created, in which hopefully the heroes playing the game will be less incompetent

The heroes of the new universe turn out to be even more incompetent, creating a dead game world where nothing even starts, and spending a looooooooooot of time whining about their relationship issues. The already infamously bad pacing of Homestuck takes a nosedive, and it starts bleeding readers.

The original cast will take three years to get to the new timeline, and are split into two groups unable to communicate with each other. However, both groups meet an entirely new gaggle of mostly-pointless trolls, as Hussie flopsweats and tries to get his readership back on board.

Meanwhile, the kids in the new timeline befriend and alien with split personalities. One is nice and sweet, the other grows up to become the ultimate bad guy of the series.

Eventually, (and I mean eventually, as Homestuck’s update schedule stopped being ludicrously fast) John meets up with one of the trolls who died in the murdering everyone storyline, who is gathering up the souls of the dead in the afterlife, and destroying them as part of a plan to make herself the hero who beats the ultimate bad guy. John points out that that plan’s kind of fucking weird, so the crazy Mary Sue troll delivers a rousing speech about the importance of being true to yourself, that would be very nice if not being used to justify pointless genocide, and jumps into a pit of fire to obtain an ultimate power.

On March 27th, 2013, after all that happened (plus the months after her entering but before HS starting), Agatha came out of the castle.

Girl Genius is literally so slow is makes Homestuck seem blisteringly fast by comparison

[undervaluedagent]

I hope Rich Burlew uses Girard Draketooth for lowkey fanservice if we get an Order of the Scribble prequel book

[copperpieceharlot]

“Dearest Kraagor... your brave sacrifice will not be forgotten.”

“Actually, I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what will happen. Isn’t that right, Soon?”

[somebodyssherlock-heterodyne]

Order of the Scribble memes pt 2

_

Sereni, walking into Girard's room: Why are you lying in bed naked?

Girard: Uh. I have no clothes.

Sereni *opens the closet*: What are you talking about? You've got shirts, the ballgown from that wedding con, pants, hi Soon, sweaters...

_

Girard: Okay. Codenames. You can address me as eagle 1. Dorukan: Been there, done that. Soon is Currently Doing That. Sereni is If I Had To Pick A Chick. Lirian... It Happened Once In A Dream. Kraagor is... Eagle 2.

Kraagor: Oh thank the gods.

_

Sereni fliming Soon and Girard: Two Bros, chilling in a hot tub, five feet apart cause they're-

Girard, making direct eye contact with Sereni: *literally jumps into Soon's lap*

Sereni: ...nevermind.

_

Dorukan: You know what? You're on time out! Get on top of the fridge! Get up there!

Sereni: This party is a fuCKING NIGHTMARE.

_

Girard and Sereni, prank calling Redcloak from the afterlife: Is your refrigerator running?

Redcloak: Yeah...?

Girard and Sereni: YOU'RE GAY.

Redcloak: How the fuck did you get this number you're FUCKING DEAD.

_

Girard, talking about Soon: He's...

NPC: Beautiful?

Girard: I was gonna say supermegafoxyawesomehot and also an asshat but okay.

_

Girard, gesturing to an empty wheat field: LOOK AT ALL THE FUCKS I GIVE, SOON!

_

Post more when I am fed more memes.

[undervaluedagent]

Someone talk to me about Girard Draketooth pleaseeeeee

[undervaluedagent]

This song is super Girard Draketooth, very Chaotic Neutral. I think about him whenever I listen to it.