#girl is trying... but the only way we grow is by learning from our mistakes

[aphroditesmoon]

'cause I love this curse on our house

clarisse la rue x fem!demigod!reader

summary: !THIS WAS A REQUEST THAT I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED! the requester wanted a fic about clarisse and reader breaking up after an argument, and after months apart from eachother, reader appears at the ares cabin at 3am because she couldn't sleep without clarisse.

warnings: sparring violence, angst, hurt/comfort, arguing, fluff at the end.

a/n: im sooo sorry I accidentally deleted ur request😭🙏 but I hope this is to your liking, and thank you for your kind words🩷🎀

wc: 3.1k

"I never learned to lose a fight, I never learned to grow upright. this is who we are."

-back to you, flowerface

----

Clarisse wondered to herself, on whether or not you'd come running to her if she were to stake this spear through her chest.

Surely, you would? Sensible, independant and stubborn you.

She knew it'd take more than some flowers and half assed apology to get you to speak to her again, and with that knowledge in her head, she isn't sure what that would mean for your relationship.

Clarisse La Rue would rather die than be caught begging for your forgiveness. She would also consider maiming herself as a last resort for any problem she's ever had.

But it has been 3 months, and everyone knows about the 3 months rule.

3 months into dating, 3 months after a breakup. And yet so far, neither of you have tried to "happy new years" your way into eachother's life again.

It is a painful observation for the girl to make. And it's more painful for her to admit that she is at least 40% in the wrong.

That is the thing about the two of you, you become abrasive everytime you're upset, and Clarisse becomes confrontational everytime she is upset. On a normal day, those traits are opposite.

The truth was, Clarisse knew deep down how flawed she is as a person, and as a lover. She is a fighter at heart.

And though she'll admit, she's one of the best out there, being the daughter of a literal war god, but sometimes it feels like that's all she's good for. Does she want to love? Yes. Does she know how to? Not really.

She loves the early hours with you before everybody wakes up, trying to convince you to stay longer in her bed before you sneak out to avoid being noticed.

She loves the intimacy of your hands instinctively intertwining in a cabin party where the music is too loud and people are brushing against you in almost every corner as they try to dance or make their way out, and no one is paying attention to how her thumb caresses your knuckles.

She loves your lips, and how they feel around her neck as you bury your head in the crook of it from behind.

And at one point in the past, she loved how easy it was to be with you. Not the deep connection or understanding, but the way you wouldn't hold it against her if she were to pretend she didn't hear say hi as you walked past her. And how you didn't mind sneaking into her bed after midnight and the darkness becomes the only witness of your loving glances and tight embraces.

But Clarisse was quick to realize later on. that she might want more than that with you. It all felt impossible. Her reputation, her need to always look the toughest and never having a visible weakspot that might be used against her in the future.

And exposing you as her Achilles' heel, would mean that everything she's worked so hard for would break down into pieces the moment the news is out.

Her father already views her as a mistake. Something that could never be his. And for that she's had to work twice as hard as any of her siblings, and still be the least worthy in his eyes.

Were you worth risking all of that? She doesn't know. She doesn't think she ever will, now that it's all over.

And what about you?

What part did you play in cutting down the fragile line of rope the two of you had stood on?

Well, you were strong, opiniated, and rational. So fucking rational that it pissed her off. While she was losing her mind watching you laughing and giggling in the corner by a tree with some random dude that looked like he was birthed by a rat hybrid during the end of year party being held in camp. You were completely fine with not being with her.

Of course she knew that whatever going on between you two was a secret, but why were you so fine with it? Are you not affected by her the way she is with you?

"I'm playing the game by your rules, this is what you wanted." You had snapped at her after she dragged you away from your boring date into a secluded part into the forest. "This isn't a game." She had blurted out in frustration.

"Isn't it? Whenever you want me, I'm there. Whenever you don't, it's like I've never existed." And you were right. This was what she wanted. Despite herself and her feelings, this was how she treated you.

"We know we're together, why does anyone else needs to know that?" Clarisse asked instead of telling you what she really wanted to.

"Are you ashamed of me, Clarisse?" She could not answer your question. I'm ashamed of myself. She thought.

Can't you see? You are the only person who's been patient enough to wait for me, to stay with me. But then I'm looking for you in every crowd just to see that you don't even notice my absence.

Oh fuck it, in the end of the day, it would've never worked. Her thoughts countered againts one another.

Clarisse La Rue was born angry, all she ever knew to be, is angry. Her shortcomings is her inability to be gentle with those she loves the most, her need to break and rip every sensitive soul that has ever pitied her enough to try and pull out that ancient rage holed up in her chest.

"You were nothing without me. I found you, I gave you something to care about, something to anchor yourself to. Cause gods, you act like you don't give a shit, but you care so much that you make yourself believe that you don't care about being tossed aside, like it doesn't hurt you when I don't look twice on your way in front of other people."

The way she looked at you as she spat each and every word onto your face, was worse than the things she had actually said.

You scoffed at her, even with tears in your eyes, you glared at her and laughed out bitterly, refusing to sob or break under her stare.

"You know what your problem is, Clarisse?" You asked, even with the cracks in your voice, her spine shivered. "Indulge me." She forced out.

"You are so miserable, that you can't stand to see anyone else that isn't. You just need me to be pissed and devestated so you could feel better about yourself. Cause Gods forbid if you don't view your self worth on how less everyone else is." Clarisse says nothing, she knew you weren't finished.

"But I don't need to fuck over anyone else's life to know that I'm good. I'm perfectly fucking fine. I was fine before you, and I'll- I'll be fine after you." And there it was. That was where it all came crashing down.

Clarisse bad one second to say fuck all, to cut down all the bullshit. To admit that for once in her life, she was tired of fighting, and she had no clue what she's doing.

But as she opened her mouth to say it all, something in the shadow of her ego had restrained her tongue from speaking at all.

And so you watched her close her lips tight, and grieved then apology she never gave, the girl she couldn’t be for you. And then you left.

Everyone steered clear from Clarisse's way, unsure of what was getting on her nerves, and not caring enough to want to know.

And that night became the last time the two of you have ever spoke to eachother.

"Clarisse." Her brother's voice snaps her out of her thoughts. He was in position with his spear.

"Aim for my chest, remember to move your feet like taught you." She instruced him, fixing her own stance. "Go."

The boy moves quickly, and just like she envisioned in her head for ten thousand times in the just a few minutes ago, her feet drags.and her hand slows down for a second- because all it took is a second for the spear to slash her chest, and slams her down on her back.

---

Growing up, you had always earned the title of the "easy" one. Compared to your step-siblings, you had caused the least problem, required the least attention, asked the least questions.

You always knew what to do. You took care of your siblings when your parent couldn't, you knew how to take care of them the way your parent would. You knew when to get things done before you were told to, you knew where the pills were whenever you weren't feeling where. And you knew which secrets were better kept to yourself.

That one doesn't need watching over, they'd say about you. Even as you're being sent over to camp quick enough before the monsters acended, you were still not worth being worried over.

Someone who takes care of others so well, sure knows how to take care of themselves, right? Right.

Of course you're self sufficient, of course even know, you know where to find medication before your sickness gets worse. Or course even now, you know just the right things to tell people so you'd be left alone.

That was the bright side of raising yourself and growing up in an environment that made you feel so alone, you get used to the silence as the company gets smaller and smaller.

But no one ever said that loneliness felt good, even as a person who's found comfort in it. Because the truth of it, is that it's the sinking feeling in your stomach that you get addicted to. It is the repetitive cycle of breaking down that feels like home, because that's the only constant thing that have prevailed in your life.

What Clarisse had given you, with her presence, her rare tenderness and welcoming touches, was something new that had altered your entire defense system. Hope. She had given you hope.

And as you stood in the house that fell all over you, surviving the damage just like you always do. You realised just how stupid you were to even think that this time it would be different.

The news of Clarisse's injury spread like wildfire. And after repressing your emotions for the longest time, you felt your chest tightening from a familiar feeling.

Clarisse have taken blows before, but never this bad, never this serious. You know that she'd heal in time, but it doesn't stop you from worrying.

How could she be so stupid and careless? Being slammed down by a younger sibling nonetheless. Even if she has no regard for her physical safety, she must have one for her pride.

She's never so easily distracted or foolish, this injury and including her little spear incident has been looked upon by others as a moment of weakness for her. They are starting to wonder if Clarisse was ever that competent in the first place, or if she has just been making it look like she is.

You tossed and turned on your bed. The sheets don't feel right against your skin. It must be the heat, you tell yourself. It must be the heat because it cannot be the deprivation of Clarisse's cold skin from yours.

Demigods do not medicate the same way mortals do, and yet without anyone knowing, you've been swallowing down melatonin almost every night to be able to fall asleep.

It's not easy to get, the last hidden stock of it from the medical room finished 3 nights ago. And if no one had noticed your sleeping problems before, they do now because of your visible under eye bags.

Your hands have been shaking, a side effect of mortal drugs. It has also been making you more jumpy, anxious.

The worst of it all is how all those symptoms only worsens your sleeping problems now. As if seasonal depression itself isn't bad enough, now you're capable of staying up all night revisiting old haunting memories.

It's easy to distract yourself in the day with all the training and learning to do.

But no one survives the cruel coldness that the night presents itself with. When your only friend is the empty ceiling staring back down at you, and the only kind of blanket you want are the ones that feels like her arms.

It was ironic, you still wanted her the way a kicked dog would still roll over if asked to.

You had left her with your head held up high. But only the gods know how low to the ground you'd kneel down to for her to look at you again the way she used to.

If she had wanted you more lenient, then she could've just asked. If she had needed you to need her more then you would've begged for her if she would've just told you.

Pushing aside the soft material of your blanket off of you, your feet barely makes a sound as you tiptoed to the door to exit your cabin.

You told yourself you don't really know where you're going. But you moved in the same way you had 3 months ago, the road is memorized, the pace is as similar, and the yearning is twice as strong.

The moom followed you from above, lightimg the way as you walked on the ground from the pavements to patches of grass.

When you found yourself in front of the Ares cabin, you truly asked yourself if you have even an ounce of shame or sense left in your head. The answer was none, all that lived inside of you was dread, ever growing. The last straw before the breaking.

The last chance that looks a little too late to be taking for.

And yet as you pull open the door ever so slightly the way you used to, you feel it being held static before a creaking noise could be made. And like memories you've seen flashing in your mind multiple times before, your eyes meet Clarisse's.

"What are you doing here?"

"What are you doing up?"

You spoke at the same time as her. Both of you looked as surprised as the other.

As you took in eachother's appearance, Clarisse looks at you expectedly, considering that you are the one who isn't at your cabin. "I...wanted to see you."

Her expression changes slightly, as if she wasn't expecting that answer.

"Weird hour to visit." She noted. "Weird hour to be up by the door after you're slashed on the chest by a spear."

The two of you stared at eachother in silence before you notice Clarisse's chest heaving as she breathed out a low sigh. "Do you want to come in?" She whispered out to you. You nod your head once and waited for her to move aside so you could be let in.

Naturally, your hand found hers. She clasped her fingers over yours without a question as the two of you walked towards her bed.

Sitting dowm side by side, you eye the outline of her face closely in the dark, some sort of relief is released in your chest. "How bad is the damage?" You asked slowly. You almost reached up to brush a strand of hair away from her face, but caught yourself.

"Could've been worse." Was her response.

"Does it hurt right now?" You inquired again. You hear her inhale sharply and wondered if breathing was hard for her. "Yeah."

"I'm sorry." You weren't sure what else to tell her. To know that she was in pain had hurt you as well, but a larger part of you did not really care for her injury. Only now do you realise how much being away from her have affected you.

Now, in much closer proximity, your breathing fans her skin, the back of her hand touching yours, and her eyes unmoving from yours, do you realise just how much you needed Clarisse La Rue.

"It doesn't hurt as much as having to watch you leave." She spoke those words in a hushed whisper, meant only for your ears. If only dhe has been a little louder. You would've been able to hear the halt in the back of her throat. "No?" You whispered back to her. "No."

"I wouldn't have left, if you would've just asked me to stay."

"I know. I know you would." She mutters it affectionately, the cold shoulder already gone. "I know you would...you've always been good to me."

You swallowed the lump in your throat and held your tears in. "Then why didn't you?"

Clarisse shrugged. "I'm never good to you."

You frowned at her reply, feeling a jolt of anger striking through you. "But you could be. Why won't you be good to me, Clarisse?" Water gathered in your eyes, your primise yo refrain from crying broken.

"I would give you anything. I would give you my life. Could you just be good to me, Clarisse?" You told yourself that you wouldn't ask this question again, no matter how much of a dog you feel like, you won't force her to give you a bone.

And so with a tear running down your cheek, you looked up at her pleadingly and thought, please, see me, want me, love me. Need me the way I need you.

Her forehead softly rests againts yours, and you hear her then, mumbling."I could be good. I could be good to you."

Her thumb finds the wet streak on your face and wipes it off. "I want to be good to you."

"Then do that. It's that easy." She shakes her head lightly, making your frown deepens. "I've had to be this person that everyone expects me to be, because of my father, and my siblings. Sometimes giving in, feels like it could be death itself. Sweet dreams before you wake up in hell. That's what it feels like trying to be the person you want me to be. Punishment worthy."

"But it isn't death, Clarisse. Not just because someone else thinks it should be.

- Not just because your father thinks so."

"I know." She answers with a more reassuring tone.

"I haven't been able to sleep without you." You tell her out of obligation. "I can tell." She joked, the both of you chuckled lightly.

Clarisse then crawled over her bed to lie down and tugged you by your sleeve to find your place in her embrace again.

Laying your head above the area her chest was struck on, her beating heart becomes your lullaby. You fell asleep soon after, with your legs tangled together under the covers. Whatever was to happen tomorrow, it wouldn't matter. Because the worst was over.

[tateshifts]

MATTHEO & I ⋆｡˚ ੈ✩‧₊˚ love story

mattheo and i have known eachother since birth and since we’ve been bestfriends for the longest time we have a mutual understanding of eachother, it’s something we have never found in anyone else.

we have always had a special place in eachothers hearts but never acted on it due to him only knowing the ways of one night stands and the meaningless flings and me being scared of getting hurt by a man like him.

so in april of 2021, a few days after my birthday, i told him i couldn’t stop pretending anymore and that i wanted to be with him, after years of watching him with other girls i was over it. he told me that he was trying to put off his feelings for me for the longest time because he was scared of hurting me and his feelings in the process. the poor boy thought he was going to get rejected by me so he never spoke up…

we made the decision together that it would be best to keep our relationship private for the first few months, until we both felt like we could trust eachother as this was new to us. i needed to know that i could trust him completely and that he has changed from his ‘promiscuous’ days. and he needed to the time to be able to open up, communicate and trust me so that when we made it official we were happy, content, and healthy in ourselves and in eachother.

at first it was rough, we had a lot of arguements and we both made mistakes. but we learnt to communicate and talk through things so we could grow and learn from them. i’m so greatful we decided to go about our relationship the way that we did as it gave us so much needed reassurance.

this was honestly the best decision we could have ever made as since we’ve been officially together (15/10/21) our relationship has only ever gotten better. now we’ve been living together at home, at the riddle estate. and i’ve truly never been happier, he always puts me and my needs first and he treats me the way a girl deserves to be treated. i couldn’t ask for anything better.

we are the definition of bestfriend to lovers and i couldn’t see myself falling for him in any other way.

OUR PLAYLIST

Mary’s Song - taylor swift

Lovers Rock - tv girl

cowboy like me - taylor swift

Shut Up - greyson chance

So High School - taylor swift

Sparks - coldplay

Stuck with U - ariana grande

Everything Has Changed - taylor swift

Banana Clip - miguel

New Year’s Day - taylor swift

Tongue Tied - grouplove

Yellow - coldplay

Friends - chase atlantic

Saturn - sza

Hits Different - taylor swift

When Will I See You Again - shakka

Turning Page - sleeping at last

Treacherous - taylor swift

The Lakes - taylor swift

There Is a Light That Never Goes Out - the smiths

Gold Rush - taylor swift

Little Things - one direction

Dress - taylor swift

if you made it this far, thank you for reading ❦｡･:*:･ﾟ follows, likes & reblogs are appreciated x

tagging @girllblogging777 because you asked for this a long time ago and i never pulled through 😖

[mayzi33]

*clears throat.*

(apologize in advance for any mistakes english isn't my first language)

Alright. Here we go.

Look, I haven't watched MLP in a LONGGGG time. But recently with all the stuff I missed our and since the fandom is still pretty much alive and well I decided to take peek by peek in the seasons I haven't watched.

Until I came across, these guys

And I have so much to say.

I didn't write a script for this or anything so I don't know where this rambling is going so I just ask you to bear with me for as much as you can, okay?

Look, watching the Young Six episodes I've experienced one of the things that angers me the most. SUCH. WASTED. POTENTIAL.

You're telling me we got whatever the hell is G5 when instead we could have gotten THESE GUYS???? THESE COOL, UNIQUE CHARACTERS THAT ACTUALLY HAVE AN INTERESTING STORY THAT MAKES SENSE AND HAVE SI MUCH POTENTIAL TO BE ONE OF THE SICKEST LORE ARCS IN MLP???

I homestly don't know what Hasbro WAS THINKING in giving them so little screentime. There's so much I have to say but I'll try my best to keep my thoughts organized.

First things first, we'll need to talk a little about G5 or "Make Your Mark" series or whatever. I personally enjoyed the movie, though the story didn't make much sense (we'll get to that later) the characters were pretty nice, the songs were catchy and the animation was mwah. I didn't bother to watch all of the G5 series, because- (pardon to all who enjoy it) it's so. Freaking. Boring. Like I know there's a pony girl that's supposed to be a traitor among them but then grows onto being their actual friend and there's a villainess and that whole conflict and yada yada yada. But honestly there just isn't anything I found enganging in the entire thing. I can't explain it, it just feels- off. I know I probably don't have much right to talk, cause again, only now I'm diving into the mlp again after missing out A LOT, but I just can't bring myself to like that series.

Now, the whole School Of Friendship saga in the G4 series with our beloved Young Six, I know some people had some issues with it and it didn't please everyone, and while it does have some flaws and is certainly not perfect, you can't deny there was lots of potential. (I'll try to not overuse that word I'm sorry)

I personally, really liked the concept of different creatures from different cultures coming together and forming the perfectly diverse friend group. Episodes like The Hearth's Warming Club and What Lies Beneath were particuarly really fun, it was nice to dive into their cultures and backstories while also watching the six of them be vulnerable in front of one another and grow closer. If only they had more screentime and more deep episodes like that, they could have been in the top 10 found families in cartoons.

Now, just some other reasons as to why I think they're interesting characters and should've gotten more than what was given to them.

Because

1- Their whole deal is that they're not all ponies, that they're all different species. We get to learn lots about their different cultures and customs. It would've been such a good way to teach children about acceptance and respecting differences while also being entertaining. Especially in a school enviroment.

2- We got not one, but TWO male characters in the group. It would make little boys that are interested in mlp feel more comfortable and valid for it. AND those two males also have distinct personalities and their own active roles. Gallus being sort of the leader of the group, and Sandbar being the only pony therefore the one to stand up for his friends.

3- While they're supposed to be the new represantives of the elements of harmonies, their personalities are still interesting and different from the Mane 6.

Onto that, I really like how it's implied they could be the next helders (or whatever its called) of the elements of harmony. Given their special connection to the tree, how similiar they are to the previous groups (Mane 6 and The Pillars) and how Twilight LITERALLY LIFTED THEM UP AS WELL WHILE SHE SPOKE ABOUT HOW THE ELEMENTS WILL LIVE ON, it would've been such a cool concept.

Onto that, I wanna talk a bit about each of their characters too and how I think they could've been dealt with.

Gallus is the element of magic, but unlike Twilight who's all open and confident-spoken about friendship and all, Gallus is probably the one in the group that's the most closed-off and dislikes getting all cheesy. It would've been interesting seeing his development as the helder ot the element of magic. AND ESPECIALLY since he doesn't have magic in the first place, since Twilight and Starwirl were unicorns. So maybe he could make posions? Get powers someway else? Many posibilities

Sandbar is the element of kindness, but unlike Fluttershy he's extrovert and down to making friends. His overrall personality is that he's constantly very chill-going and nothing seems to ever upset or annoy him. So it also would've been interesting to see how that pattern would break, especially because of his element.

Yona is the element of honesty. She's probably the one that has the hardest time adapting to the Equestrians among the group, and even tried to act like a pony instead of herself one episode. It would've been interesting to see how her element of honesty reflects on how she should be true to herself, especially since her Yak culture comes a lot with honor.

Ocellus is the element of genority, yet, unlike Rarity, she's a lot more like Fluttershy, being timid and insecure, while also being smart and well-read like Twilight. It would've been nice if her development with her element would be gaining confidence in herself and being generous to others that way. Especially since she has a fear of being like the old changling queen (forgot her name) so imagine if she just turned out to be the opposite of her. Instead of selfish and cruel, being generous and kind.

Smolder is the element of loyality, but also like Gallus, she's also not into getting cheesy. But what I find imteresting about her is how she tries to keep her tough, agressive persona (since thats how dragons are) yet it is revealed she's actually interested in cute, fluffy stuff like tea parties and dresses. So it would've been cool to see her growing confident in admiting her interests, therefore being more like Rainbow Dash, who's always confident on herself

And last but not least, Silverstream is the element of laughter. But what's hooking about it is the fact that Silverstream herself probably hasn't KNOWN what laughter is for a long time, having to hide under The Storm King's rule. She's very talkctive, creative and extrovert, like Pinkie Pie, but she also has her trauma that haunts and intimidates her, unlike Pinkie who usually faces her fears headfront. Another great development story.

So just hear me out, okay. I don't care if MLP is over. I don't care if there's G5.

We. Need. A. Young. Six. Spin-off. Series.

I know it sounds crazy, but I genuely think this idea could work out if it was handled well enough, and Hasbro could make some good money out of this.

Just bear with me. A spin-off series set on the timeline between season 8-9 aka, still on the School Of Friendship, focused entirely on the Young Six. We could still get the Mane 6, of course, but mostly as support characters. It doesn't have to be a particularly long series, (though maybe that could work as well IF handled with enough care) maybe just 2 seasons or so. And I'm not thinking like a slice-of-life or fun little extra kind of thing, I'm thinking of ACTUAL lore. Just more about how the tree and the elements work, and how these six students could grow into being their new helders. In each episode it becomes more and more evident to them and the Mane 6 themselves that they're going to be the next generation of the elements. So imagine once they all fully it figure out and talk about it, the Y6 suddenly feel this pressure about how they're supposed to live up to their teachers and fear that they have to be EXACTLY like them. So we see Sandbar taking extra kindness classes with Fluttershy, Yona taking extra honesty classes with Applejack and heck even Gallus is taking studies more seriously (especially since he's supposed to be the element of magic which again I find imteresting since he doesn't really have magic at least not the way Twilight and Starwirl do. ) So we could have an entire episode about the M6 getting through to them and showing they don't have to be JUST LIKE THEM nor The Pillars. They can be their own people.

Another main-plot idea would be having more villains, probably trying to test them or tear them apart (cough cough like Swift Foot from the idw comics cough cough) or maybe you could even fit someone as intense as King Sombra, or maybe even even the return of Tirek, Cozy Glow and Chrysalis in there. (I remembered her name yay)

And, of course, more onto their characters, flaws, backstories and cultures! I would love to see more about their people and customs, just as much as I would love to explore their traumas, fears, ugly sides and how they overcome it together (cough cough found family COUGH COUGH GAGS)

And another thing, I especially would've liked to explore Yona's and Sandbar's relantioship.

I MEAN LOOK AT THEM-

Don't they give massive beauty-and-the-beast vibes? I love how their colors and body types contrast with one and another, and their personalities aswell. Yona being loud, cheerful and clumsy while Sandbar is calm, thoughtful and carefree. I just love the big girl x soooorta small guy vibes and I especially loved how gentle and reassuring Sandbar was towards her in that episode. I mean, "I don't care if you're not a pony, you're the best Yona I know." SERIOUSLY? WHO WROTE THAT LINE? I'D LIKE TO GIVE THEM A HUG. And also, onto the spin-off series matter, it would also be a cool topic to explore. Imagine if some ponies/yaks are judging them for having a relantioship while being different species and they learn to ignore them and live past that??? I usually don't care much for romance, (always prefered friendship and found families) but this would've been a nice little arc and episode theme to see.

Lastly, (I'm almost done I promise) to the more technical/economical part.

Like I said in the beggining, I genuely think Hasbro could make some good money out of this. Firstly because it will be using the G4 characters and lore and not...whatever mess of a plot G5 is.

And secondly because, if they took the time to give them some cool power-up designs like they did with the Mane 6, I'M SURE the toys would sell.

I mean- JUST LOOK AT THESE COOL DESIGNS I FOUND ON THE INTERNET?? (not mine, credits to whoever made it, you ate that)

DON'T THEY LOOK LIKE A TOY SET THAT WOULD CATCH THE CHILDREN'S EYES ON THE TOY AISLE? OH YES I THINK THEY WOULD.

And if anything, they could be as bold as to make an extra Equestria Girls (well, girls and boys) series with them. I know it sounds kinda dumb, especially given the fact that I'm not sure about how that would work given that when Spike went to the "human dimension" or whatever he turned to a dog... So Smolder would also be a dog? Sandbar would be the only actual human in the group?... BUT I'm sure they could come up with some excuse to make it work. Give them some cool, colorful outfits for different events and I'm sure it would sell. And ESPECIALLY since with Gallus and Sandbar in the group, it could get the attetion of young boys aswell.

Anyways. That was it.

Uhm. Conclusion: Hasbro should hire me. I know what I'm talking about. I think. At least a bit.

And I genuely think this could work if only SOMEONE gave it the time and care.

I don't know how to end ramblings so uhmmmm thank you all for coming to my pep talk.

They deserved better.

[chrissy-kaos]

If we're too masculine then we're disgusting freaks. They collect the most masculine of us - innocent women minding their own business trying to live a life that was denied to them - and mock us, openly discussing how nobody could ever love us, how nobody could be fooled that we're women.

If we're too feminine then we're stupid men. They find the most tone deaf quotes from trans girls, usually those who have been out for only months if they're out at all. They find these quotes of girls still learning how to be women, post them everywhere as proof that we are just pantomime caricatures of women.

If we are too strong then we are violent and dangerous. We are an unfair factor in sport, evil men just trying to steal victories from real women. We could lose our temper at any moment. We are a risk that cannot be tolerated. If we're too weak then we are to be mocked. They call us failed men who ran to womanhood because we couldn't take it. We're victims of our own masculinity. Poor feminine men to be saved... In the same way that Republicans want to save those 'poor unborn babies.'

If we lose our temper we're back to dangerous men. But if we cry, if our shoulders buckle under the weight of endless, endless, ENDLESS, ENDLESS, ABUSE. Then they mock us again. They share pictures of trans women crying and laugh over it. Of course they make sure to find the pictures where our stubble is showing, our makeup has already run. It's not the way that women are mocked for weakness; it's the way men are. They find videos where are lips are trembling. Where our voice has gone deep because we don't have the energy to keep it at its heightened octave.

If we find ourselves ugly they mock us. But if we're happy with ourselves then we're disgusting degenerates. "Autogynephilic." Medicalized. They find the tweets of newly out girls who said something improper in their tiny moment of not guarding themselves. An awkward, amateurish attempt at roleplay or dirty talk becomes a meme. A woman who likely spent years growing the courage to begin sexual exploration, probably for the first time in her life, sees herself come up every so often in their replies, their threads, their gifs. What happens to these people? Is it even possible for them to ever resume that exploration?

We're trying to trick everyone into dating us. We should be required to show visible identification on us at all times; to be trans without the people around you knowing is deceit. But also, nobody would ever date us, everyone can tell, immediately, always. Everyone knows, the terfs say GLEEFULLY. Reveling in the idea that our subconscious is constantly telling us this. Basking in the thought of our depression and anxiety eating our minds until there's nothing left.

Even the terfs never stay the same for long. One moment it's a wall of 'concerned mothers' with all the passive-aggressive venom of a white woman calling the police because she doesn't want to put a leash on her dog; make ABSOLUTELY NO MISTAKE that these are the same people. The next it's anime-avatar alt righters. The next it's puritanical Christians claiming we are the natural result of the "rainbow agenda." It's lesbians saying that we're destroying lesbianism, following right on the heels of a pastor saying that anything that isn't a man and a woman is unnatural.

Half the URLs are Mumsnet and half are Kiwifarms. How many are bots? Sock puppets? How many really are just transphobic housewives accessing Kiwifarms from their phones? How many took the full plunge? The answer to all of the above is, we don't know, but it's a whole lot more than zero.

Every time we go into a bathroom, there's a chance we'll be the next screen shot pasted over reddit. It doesn't matter whether it's the men's or women's. They are equally unsafe.

If we need a women's shelter, we flip a coin on whether the person running it has already decided she hates us, because of these people.

We cannot upload a picture to facebook without this risk.

We cannot post about our lives without this risk.

We cannot appear at our work without this risk.

We cannot exist without this risk.

Every possible action we could take will be judged. There is no outcome that isn't negative. There is nothing we can do that isn't negative. Masculinine, feminine, pretty, ugly, angry, sad, sexual, frigid, proud, ashamed, strong, weak. Pre-op, post-op, non-op. Vagina, ovaries, chromosomes, fertility: womanhood is defined as whatever we aren't in that particular context.

I don't want to think about how many people this has killed. To call it a moving goal-post is inept, it is a void, an endless mass of hatred that follows us no matter what we do. Nothing is good enough. Everything, every single thing, is just waiting to be weaponized against us.

It has killed so, so many.

It won't kill any more.

If you're trans and you're reading this you already know everything I said. We've lived through it. You already know that I've spent time as all of the above because you have too. That when I get SIX HUNDRED COMMENTS calling me a man I want to swing my fists and I want to cry and I want to curl into a ball and I want to scream and I want to end my own miserable existence. The ugly beautiful girl in the mirror is so angry and sad and prideful and ashamed and violent and passive and this constant stream of abuse has torn me apart and created so many ugly things in this mind but if there is ONE. FUCKING. THING. THAT. THEY. WILL. NOT. MAKE. ME.

It is dead.

I will live. I will survive. And I don't even care about justice anymore. These people will get away with all this. Somewhere in that mix of the trans population and the infamous 40% number is a figure of how many people they've killed, but they'd never care. I'll live because all of their jeering and mocking and gaslighting and those goddamn fucking insufferable legions of laugh reacts, they don't do a fucking thing.

That's all it comes down to in the end. It's hard and it's painful and it hurts, it just ENDLESSLY hurts to weather their blows. But my name is Alexia. I am a woman.

You can hurt me all you like, but that won't change, and you can die mad about it.

- Lindwyrm Weisseritter

[esther-dot]

We should talk more about the fandom's love of violence as a response to the injustice.

Bcs i think they're (english isn't mother lenguaje 😅) being played by Grrm? He knows we like to escape to fantasy worlds and seeing the evil be defeated, but also he knows of our taste for blood, vengeance and retaliation.

I know what he said about he not being a strict pacifist believer. But is still contradicts his beliefs to burn alive someone for example, crucify a bunch of people, torture of innocent girls, or torture, simple torture.

One of the mayor problems of Grrm is the ethics and morals of his readers(and his).

Oh, I certainly agree that our acceptance of casual violence as a culture (I say this as an American, perhaps it is different elsewhere), has made a lot of fans miss how critical he is of violence in all forms. There’s a disconnect between what we believe the solution is (killing) and how he shows that to be ineffective. As in, Aerys starts killing people in an unjustified way which leads to a justified rebellion, but in that rebellion, innocents die (Elia, her children) and characters like Ned and Robert, who are victors, have their relationships changed, change as people, never recover what they lost--themselves or their loved ones. It's not a happy ending, not merely because both of those men die by the end of the first book, but because we also know that Aerys’ daughter is coming for revenge and will unleash devastation on Westeros in her effort to reclaim it.

Or we can look at Joffrey killing Ned (unjust), the North going to war (totally understandable), but we’re shown how the smallfolk suffer, that it doesn’t save the Starks from further suffering, and Robb and Cat die. Even when wars seem justified or necessary, Martin refuses to glamorize them the way the fandom wants and might expect. I’ve said before, depicting something isn’t condoning it, and we all land in very different places on certain subjects, “is this for a purpose or is this revealing a disturbing thing about the author”? But justice, mercy, war, peace…that all seems to have been of great interest to him from the get go which means we as readers should try to listen very carefully for that authorial guidance when determining what he is saying about it. Ned chose to save Jon (commit treason), he was ready to defy Robert over Dany, he warned Cersei in an attempt to save her children, and I think fro all his mistakes elsewhere, in these moments, we were meant to see that his was the moral choice:

What strange fit of madness led you to tell the queen that you had learned the truth of Joffrey's birth?" "The madness of mercy," Ned admitted. (AGOT, Eddard XV)

I understand how we get swept up in that feeling of power when a hero can easily kill the bad guy and guarantee a happy ending, but that isn't Martin's world, and in fact, he used Ned to show us how much he valued mercy instead. I recently watched The Last Kingdom: Seven Kings Must Die and Uhtred told someone that if you kill a man it only means three sons will rise up to kill you. It made me think of Ned's death, his children who want to kill Lannisters, of the North's loyalty to him, the reality of Dany returning, there is a cost to violence in Martin's story. Obviously, the good guys kill, you're right, he doesn't create a way to be a complete pacifist, and yet, I do think there may be a misalignment between his generation of hippies and our own which is also anti war but otherwise...shall I say, a little more open to violent means.

If we look at Ned's answer to a potential problem (whether that was Jon being a Targ who might grow to hate "the usurpers" for what they took from him a la Dany, or Jon being a bastard who might resent his trueborn "siblings"), he thought love would save them. That Jon growing up loving and being loved by his children would be the solution to a potential future problem. I've said before, I believe Jon will help in retaking Winterfell, will protect Ned's children when he failed to, because Ned, even if he is naive and people suffered for it, had the right ideals.

I believe this is why Sansa is so important because she has that ability to care and show mercy for enemies of her house and people who wrong her specifically, so it seems to me, that she would be someone who might strike compromises for peace rather than resort to further violence. War, death, that doesn’t seem to be Martin's preferred solution, and certainly, cruel deaths, torture, slavery, none of that is acceptable to him which feels like a silly thing to point out, but it is of course, an unpopular stance in the fandom, nonetheless true, and one we should keep discussing! I quite frequently see people act like those of us who write “anti Daenerys” (a tag we use out of consideration for her fans, a consideration that anti Sansa people have never given us) content are engaging in a ship war, but if one wants to understand what the author is saying, I don’t think you can avoid it? Is it really more reasonable to conclude Martin wants us to be fine with burning a slave alive than that we’re meant to be horrified? Tbh, if he didn’t want us to condemn it, doesn’t that demand we condemn his moral framework? It’s a different kind of fandom engagement, perhaps, but trying to understand what the author is saying is the basic form of engagement with a novel, shouldn’t be as offensive as people pretend.

I say this a lot but I always want to reiterate, I love that people who speak English as a second language still engage with the fandom. I know that English speakers are spoiled with content and ease of engagement, and that it can be intimidating to reach out for anyone, more so if there's anxiety about the language barrier, but I'm very happy you did it anyway, and hope you know how much I admire you for it!

[longbobmckenzie]

Hellooo! There are so few Roberto fans around. I was wondering if you had any HC’s about his home life, like what he’s like as a boyfriend? What he’s like if they’re long distance? What kind of car he drives and things like that? Love our beautiful portugese man 🥺

Hello, sweet anon!!! Thank you for the ask, our beautiful Portuguese man deserves some lovin' 🥺🥰

Fusebox only gives us random facts, so it's up to us to fill in the details...

Roberto Headcanons

Home life

So, we know based on the date and how much Roberto talked about his family that he's very family-oriented and close to his parents, grandparents, and siblings. I think he probably lived at home for a while simply because he didn't see the need to officially move out while he was in school, and because as a pilot, he's often away anyway. But he did eventually move to his own place, but not too far from his parents. Probably with a cousin or two as a roommate, tbh. He still goes home all the time though because that's where his loved ones are.

We also know he can cook, so he's not just going home out of necessity. He's absolutely a mama's boy (and avó's boy), but he helps out in the kitchen because there'd be hell to pay if he didn't!

He's also the only boy with two older sisters. Despite being the youngest (and he was absolutely teased in every way growing up), he's fiercely protective of them.

As a boyfriend

Roberto has dated extensively, but he's ready to settle down and he knows what he's looking for in a partner. He's also ready to learn from past mistakes (and there have been a few).

Roberto is basically Prince Charming. He's attentive, romantic, and will do whatever he can to make his partner feel loved and appreciated. I think his love languages include quality time (especially receiving) and gift giving (how he shows love to others). He's outdoorsy, so he'd love a girlfriend who's willing to do some of his favourite activities with him, and he'll absolutely return the favour - romcom night? Roberto is there. He'll be the guy who buys opening weekend Barbie tickets for him and his girl before Oppenheimer, just saying. Will cook a romantic candlelight dinner. In his own words, he wants the person he's into to feel like his entire world.

He's just as attentive as a lover. He's sensuous. His girl comes first, literally. But he'll very much enjoy the process, teasing her to distraction and edging her until she's begging him to let her come. He's not a dom, not really, but if he's in the right mood, he'll take all the control. We also know he's into costumes and roleplay (no wonder he has a job with a sexy uniform). You might expect his favourite to be pilot/flight attendant or passenger, but that hits a bit too close to home. Plus, you know he's been there, done that 😏But he'll indulge his girl if that's what she wants to do.

Long distance relationships

He hates it. Absolutely hates it. He thrives on being around his people, and he wants his partner there with him. He's already away from home a lot, so not being able to come home to his partner being home for him sucks.

That said, he's on Love Island knowing that a long-distance relationship is a possibility. And he's willing to relocate for the right person, even if it means being long distance for a while before that happens to make sure it's right. He'll be facetiming his girl from hotel rooms all over the world - it's the first thing he does when he checks in - and begging her to travel with him. He's absolutely paying for her tickets, too. Trying to plan his flights so he can see her or take her with him for a mini-vacation. Flying her to Portugal when she's able to get away from her own work/family so she can be there when he's home.

Ultimately, he values experiencing life with his partner. So if his partner isn't around, well... things get difficult.

What he drives

I debated this one. I think he'd like something sporty, but not too flashy. But at the same time, he needs something practical because a) he's not always home to drive, and b) he likes to do sports and go to the beach, and he's not gonna risk getting sand in his nice car all the time.

So, he drives a Seat Leon Cupra. It's a hatchback, so it's practical enough for his outdoors activities. It's got a nice body, but isn't too flashy. It's a fun drive, and it's a good daily driver. Someday he'll get something flashier (possibly an Alfa Romeo Giulia), especially once he's worked his way up and has a bigger salary, but for now, this'll do.

---

This is long so I'll leave it at that, but I'm always happy to chat about our charming boy! Thanks again for asking!

[moochi-daisies]

18+, Minors DNI

- series contains drinking, smoking, cursing and tension~

Find the rest here!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2012.01.

I'm comfortable making mistakes.

Well-

I guess comfortable isn't the right word. I'm used to making mistakes, I'll put it that way. There's not much use regretting mistakes, sometimes they even turn into happy accidents, right?

I never wanted to consider meeting him a mistake. But here we are- so let's go back.

It's late Fall of 2012 and I'm 20 years old. And I'm in a bit of a "fuck all" era of life. My mom had moved us out of state to live with her alcoholic, albeit sweet boyfriend of the moment and I had no idea what I was doing with myself. There was no direction I was headed in in particular, life was happening and I was simply drifting along with it. Trying my best to stay afloat, trying my best not to panic or drown.

Things were...not the best at home. A polite way of insinuating that traumatized parents were traumatizing their children. That isn't really the point though, I'll spare the details.

I worked part time at a big shot make up company, I went to college classes (sometimes) and I partied. I had been terrified of partying my entire life until my senior year of high school when I decided to swallow my anxiety and learned a loophole around my social fears: drinking.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was young, ok?

I had been aimlessly scrolling through Tumblr one night, mindlessly doing make up in an effort to recognize my face in the mirror when I came across a flier for a show a few states away. It was being held in some bar, the person who posted it being advertised as the main DJ. Looking closer at the picture on the flier, he was cute. Dark hair and pouty lips. A serious gaze and a smirk that flipped my stomach over.

I messaged him on a whim;

Hey you, I wanna come to your show but won't have a place to stay. Gotta room open?

I snorted to myself, surprised by my own audacity. But what the hell right? You only live once as the saying goes.

I put my phone down. Looking back at my reflection, my mood quickly grew somber. Big brown eyes, pouty bottom lip, straight eyelashes on one eye, curly on the other. Each part of my face felt separated. Like they belonged to multiple people. Like they didn't belong all together on just one face.

The girls at work were customer service friendly. Meaning, they knew I bought my makeup from a convenience store and wore hand me downs to fit the dress code. Meaning, they were never cruel to me but I wasn't invited for drinks after our shift was over. I was allowed to be there but didn't "fit in".

I was used to not fitting in. If you passed by me, you'd probably assume otherwise. Not because there was anything special about me, quite the opposite- I looked just like a regular girl. It was not being able to act regular that got me into trouble. Growing up I let many bully me into normalcy, thinking if I could figure out the rules they were setting that I would be able to appease them.

I never figured out the rules.

My phone buzzed, shaking me out of my inner ramblings.

Haha, hey yourself. Yeah, sure. My roommates are down. I'm Yoongi btw, hope the show is worth it.

I stared at the message for what felt like 5 minutes, my mouth falling open. Then I closed my phone, sitting completely still, frozen in disbelief. A laugh bubbled up and out of me before I opened up the message again. I left my phone open and stood up, shaking out my legs. A buzzing excitement starting to build in my bones.

Okay, I thought to myself, now I just need to figure out how to get there.

The money from my job went to my mom. In an effort to prevent me from partying and to help her not feel completely reliant on her boyfriend for money. I didn't have a car, and there was no way she was going to let me travel out of state to go stay with a guy I randomly messaged on the Internet.

I had a small amount in my savings meant for school. Logically, it would make more sense to spend it on what I wanted to do instead of wasting it on something I wasn't even committed to, right? I wasn't even sure what I was going to school for and had switched majors at least three times within the past two years. This was a convincing enough argument for me to make up my mind.

The show was a week away, and I figured the cheapest route would be by bus considering the short notice. I searched for the tickets, slightly gawking at the 13 hour ride length before exhaling and clicking the purchase button.

I decided only to tell my younger sister, who gave me a wary look and made me promise to check in with her. I decided not to tell my mom, to avoid any unnecessary fighting or being told "no".

I spent the following week in a daze, excitement building with each passing day. Each time I checked in with Yoongi to give him an update, a swelling in my chest made it difficult to breathe.

Was I really going to bus 13 hours to see a random dude DJ on a whim?

Yes, yes I was.

Was this absolutely insane and for the experience more than anything?

Yes, yes it was.

Life experiences felt like collectibles to me at this time. If it wound up being a bad experience, what a story I would have to tell to friends later on. If it was a good experience, what a memory I would have to cherish.

Looking back now, I don't know how to categorize the experience. There's a lump in the back of my throat that I choke on whenever I let it come back.

If I could go back in time to November 2012, if I could stop myself from going and ever meeting Yoongi-

I couldn't.

Some things in life can be avoided while others feel inevitable.

We would have crashed into each other no matter what ended up bringing us together.

[batrachised]

Why We Loved Gilbert Blythe

(Title and quotes taken from this article)

Discussing my love for Gilbert Blythe has brought to mind the tragedy of the actor's death a few years ago. I remember it because after it happened, many women I know and other women online came forward to talk about why they loved Jonathan Crombie, and particularly, why they loved his Gilbert Blythe. As the article states, Gilbert Blythe was many girls' first love.

As a 7th grade girl, I loved Gilbert not only because he was charming, but also because he was safe. Speaking very broadly, I think a lot of women, as they grow from middle school to teen to an adult, experience the need--or the pressure--to make themselves smaller. Essentially, we grow to learn how to become unthreatening to men and their ego. Parks and Rec has a funny ironic quote that kind of gets at what I'm saying here: "Guys love it when you can show them you're better than they are at something they love." When you're a teenage girl trying to impress a boy, a lot of the time (although not always!) it involves showing them that they impress you. You laugh at their jokes; you make them feel good about themselves. Although this can be harmless and people just peopling, it can also become a harmful relationship dynamic. There is a variety of complex reasons for this tendency to soothe over men, from actual safety to peacekeeping to sheer habit, but it begins around the age that a lot of people find Anne.

What I'm trying to say here is that a lot of the experience as a teen girl (and as a woman) is the pressure, whether societal or self imposed, to change who you are so that you can become lovable on society's terms. Sometimes, this means downplaying your abilities so that men aren't offput or irritated when, as parks and rec states, you're better at them at something they love.

Gilbert Blythe defies this. As the article states, Gilbert likes Anne for who she is.

Being a 7th grader and coming across AoGG is finding a world that suggests perhaps, the right man will like you for who you are. He'll like if you do things well or even better than him. He'll respect you.

I think that that really sums it up in the end: Gilbert respects Anne. Not just in the sense of the very low bar of not bullying her or treating her rudely, not just in the sense of following the rules of etiquette that any human being should, but he respects Anne's specific qualities and dreams. He treats Anne as an equal in a believable yet romantic way. He's specifically connotated as not being the dashing knight of Anne's dreams that's more fantasy than real (that maybe, just maybe, a lot of 7th grade girls might also dream of), but instead a real, flawed person who is charming but who makes mistakes--but who also tries to be better. In doing so, he becomes a romantic ideal; or, as said earlier: Gilbert Blythe becomes our first love.

[cowboyjen68]

Hi Jen,

I’m reaching out because the advice you give has opened my eyes multiple times. I’m at a point in my life that feels so uncertain, and a perspective would be a lot of help.

I have thought I was bisexual for almost all my life. I am twenty one now, and have dated both men and women. However, I experienced deep trauma as a child, and have experienced more as I’ve grown. It feels like I have been living my life in a somewhat disconnected haze. Recently, it feels like a switch has gone off inside of me. Where I thought there was attraction to men, there is now disgust. I can’t fully say I enjoyed any of the interactions I’ve had. But I am a firm believer in sexuality being immutable, and you are born however you are. A lesbian would not willingly have sex with a man. But now I don’t know what I am. I am on shaky ground. I don’t want to step into a community I do not belong too.

Hi. Let me share a quick story. One of the lesbian couples I look up to most in this world were both married to men for the better part of their teens and early 20’s. One has a son the old fashioned way. They were introduced by their husbands at work and, well, something clicked. Neither of them were happily married no matter how well they tried to fake it. One man was awful. The other was a good man and husband, but still a man. They were honest with themselves, found lesbian community and finally had the support to leave the “known” life and face the unknown together. They are still together over 30 years later. They are lesbians. They have alway been lesbians. 

If actions proved or disproved our sexuality many of my older generations of friends would not be lesbians. Do not mistake “consent” for willing and enthusiastic participation. Women are conditioned from the moment it is declared “it’s a girl” to not ruffle feathers and to make sure others are comfortable. We often do this at our own discomfort and even harm. 

I have said this many times. I believe most of us have an innate sexuality but it is our understanding of it that sometimes needs time and experience to fully grasp it. Often, youth, exploration and attempts to fit in has us dating people and putting ourselves in sexual situations that we don’t want. Part of growing is trying and learning what works and what doesn’t and there is no shame in making mistakes. 

Your past does not define your sexuality. Your sexuality defines your sexuality. 

I promise you. Reach out and form lesbian friendships and you will find you are by FAR not the only one of us who thought they were bi or had sex with men all the while thinking. “This CAN’T be what all the fuss is about on tv, in love songs and from my peers”.  Get to a women’s festival, subscribe to Lesbian Connection. Meet older lesbians (and Bi women who can have some insight) and you will definitely be accepted. AND us elders who have experienced a lot of life will understand your journey and support you as you land where you best fit.

[caddeter]

Skimming through the RWDE tag after the Volume 9 final aired reminds me of how the FNDM will defend the show by saying ‘people make mistakes’ and ‘the writers are only human’ because now the show seems to be sending that message.  It also reminded me that I wrote over 1000 words explaining why I think that’s terrible.

‘People make mistakes’ is the absolute worst argument in defense of something that I have every heard. I find it even more insulting than the infamous ‘don’t like, don’t watch,’ because it implies that putting effort into your craft is optional.  What this argument says is that I am in the wrong for expecting anything more than garbage. You are legitimately saying, ‘It could have been better, but you’re wrong for saying so.’  Yes, I realize that nobody is perfect and that they are going to screw up every now and again.  That’s why I’m criticizing it.  I mean, when was the last time you heard people get criticized for doing something right.

This argument of ‘people make mistakes so you can’t complain’ also ignores the moment after, where they look back on what they did wrong and learn from it.  That’s why we make mistakes, so that we can grow as people.   Why should we try to improve ourselves if we’re already ‘good enough.’ ‘People make mistakes,’ is a fact of life, but that does not mean we should throw up our hands and give up all attempts to get better and it certainly doesn’t mean we should accepting bad stories.

But enough about my philosophy on mistakes, let’s talk about this one, specifically how situational it is:

Twilight is recognized across the globe as one of the worst books ever written.  Even ignoring the way it bastardizes the concept of Vampires, it’s a story that reads less like a romance and more like a drug addiction. The lead characters have all the chemistry of a brick and a dead rat.  The relationship it tries to push as beautiful and grand is downright abusive at points.  And this isn’t even getting into all the misogyny and racism and pedophilia in those books.  But people make mistakes, so I guess we shouldn’t hold it against Myers.

Sword Art Online is one of the most infamous anime there is.  Despite its large following, whenever someone looks over it with a critical lens, they come to the conclusion that it’s utter crap.  The plot and worldbuilding are inconsistent. The characters (Kirito especially) exist more to fill out roles in a fantasy than as actual people.  It’s all about making Kirito look good and ensuring he comes out better than when he came in, no matter what.  It goes out of its way to include some kind of sexual assault of the lead female character in a given arc with no respect for the subject matter, to the point where it’s hard to tell if Reki Kawahara thinks rape is the worst crime a man could commit or if he has a fetish for it.  But people make mistakes, so the critics are more in the wrong for making videos on it.

In spite of (Or rather, because of) its troubled production, Sonic 06 is one of the worst video games in existence.  It’s so glitchy, it borders on unplayable.  The story is bland at best, flat out terrible at worst.  The new characters it introduced were all unlikable for one reason or another.  Level design was horrendous and boring.  People have made numerous videos and blogposts explaining why it is one of Sonic’s worst games, if not one of the worst games period.  But people make mistakes, so we should stop complaining.

Post season 4, Spongebob Squarepants took a downward dive.  Characters became little more than one unlikable trait.  It crossed the line from mischief to malice, so good characters suffered while the bad ones triumphed.  It was extremely evident that they had already run out of ideas, because they kept rehashing the same episode plot over and over again and needed to pad out some episodes.  But people make mistakes, so they should never have tried to fix this.

Lucy is the most boring movie I ever sat through.  It’s just ‘This girl gains reality altering powers, be amazed at how easy everything is for her.’ There is never any point where she is in any sort of real danger or anything actually threatens her.  She loses all empathy for her fellow man and has no problem throwing them away like broken toys (In an Asian country when our main character is white, mind you), yet it expects you to see her as the good guy throughout. Instead of being terrified by her rampage, it expects you to be amazed.  And maybe that would have worked if it used said reality altering powers in more creative ways.  But people make mistakes, so I guess it’s a good movie.

I could go on for ages and never run out of examples for any given form of media.  And this is all ignoring examples that are actively malicious, like stories that are intentionally sexist, racist, or homophobic.

And then there’s that other group of people this argument conveniently doesn’t apply to:  The critics.  If people make mistakes and you think we should just ignore that, then you can’t challenge the critics on any ground, because they made a mistake by talking about the writer’s mistakes.  If we are not allowed to judge your writer, then why are you allowed to judge ours?

Not to mention how this logic is almost self-refuting. When you say this, what you are saying is that the only thing wrong with the criticism is that it is criticism.

Furthermore, this argument also somewhat undermines the effort other artists and writers will put into their craft in order to make something as best as they possibly could. If we should all just accept when someone fails to make something good, then why should we recognize how Fictional Games ensured that Amnesia The Dark Descent had an atmosphere which on its own could leave you terrified rather than relying on cheap jumpscares?  Why should we praise Tatsuya Endo’s writing for blending heartfelt, humorous, and action-packed when he wrote SpyXFamily? Why should we celebrate Avatar the Last Airbender not just for its amazing story of multiple cultures coming together and strengthening one another, but also for its fully realized and fantastical world?

By saying that we should accept mistakes and that it’s wrong to criticize bad writing, you wind up saying that all of their effort was pointless.  Why bother trying to make something as best you can when people will accept anything?  If we’re not going to pay attention to what a story or writer did wrong, why should we pay attention to what a story or writer did right?

‘People make mistakes,’ means just that, that people make mistakes.  So how about we treat those mistakes as mistakes and hold people accountable for them, rather than act like everyone and everything is perfect and infallible?

[fritextramole]

standing alone at the top of the stairs

part 2 of a Jenny Humphrey playlist - best heard in order

tracklist and quotes under the cut

The Anthem ~ Good Charlotte

At my high school It felt more to me Like a jail cell A penitentiary My time spent there, it only made me see That I don't ever wanna be like you I don't wanna do the things you do

Fences ~ Paramore

Don't look up, just let them think There's no place else you'd rather be You're always on display For everyone to watch and learn from Don't you know by now? You can't turn back

Are You Satisfied? ~ MARINA

High achiever, don't you see? Baby, nothing comes for free They say I'm a control freak Driven by a greed to succeed Nobody can stop me

Sometimes ~ Nick Lutsko

I cut my tongue on the rust of a silver spoon I bet my billionth bottom dollar on a hopeless case And now the devil on my shoulder has a knife to my face

Teenagers ~ My Chemical Romance

The boys and girls in the clique, the awful names that they stick You're never gonna fit in much, kid But if you're troubled and hurt, what you got under your shirt Will make them pay for the things that they did

WTF Do I Know ~ Miley Cyrus

Think that I'm the problem? Honey, I'm the solution

Cherry Bomb ~ The Runaways

Can't stay at home, can't stay at school Old folks say, "You poor little fool" Down the streets I'm the girl next door I'm the fox you've been waiting for

Since You’re Gone ~ The Pretty Reckless

Since you been gone My life has moved along Quite nicely actually I've got a lot more friends And I don't have to pretend

killing boys ~ Halsey

And I'm not breakin', I won't take it And I won't ever feel this way again 'Cause you don't need me anymore, woah

Rebel Girl ~ Bikini Kill

I think I wanna take you home I wanna try on your clothes When she talks, I hear the revolution

Can’t Be Tamed ~ Miley Cyrus

I wanna fly I wanna drive I wanna go I wanna be a part of something I don't know And if you try to hold me back I might explode

Stop Me ~ Natalia Kills

Tonight we're gonna dance to the devil's drum And I need someone, need someone To stop me, stop me Stop me, stop me Stop me, stop me You can't stop me, stop me

She’s Leaving Home ~ The Beatles

She (We never thought of ourselves) Is leaving (Never a thought for ourselves) Home (We struggled hard all our lives to get by) She's leaving home after living alone (Bye-bye) For so many years

Nobody’s Child ~ Traveling Wilburys

I'm nobody's child Just like a flower I'm growing wild No momma's arms to hold me No daddy's smiles Nobody wants me I'm nobody's child

Fell In Love With a Girl ~ The White Stripes

Can't keep away from the girl These two sides of my brain need to have a meeting Can't think of anything to do, yeah My left brain knows that all my love is fleeting She's just looking for something new, yeah Said it once before but it bears repeating now

Horns ~ Bryce Fox

She can crush every hope Got her heels stompin' down my throat She got horns like a devil Pointed at me and there's nowhere to run From the fire she breathes

Yeah Right ~ Evanescence

My one mistake was giving more and more and more More and more and more

brutal ~ Olivia Rodrigo

They say these are the golden years But I wish I could disappear Ego crush is so severe God, it's brutal out here

I Got Stripes ~ Johnny Cash

I got chains - chains around my feet I got stripes - stripes around my shoulders And them chains - them chains they're about to drag me down

Like a Rolling Stone ~ Bob Dylan

Once upon a time you dressed so fine Threw the bums a dime in your prime, didn't you? People call say 'beware doll, you're bound to fall' You thought they were all kidding you You used to laugh about

Trust ~ Lucy Dacus

I've learned a lot since I began But I think I was wiser then I've done too much and not enough

Lua ~ Bright Eyes

When everything is lonely I can be my own best friend I get a coffee and the paper have my own conversations With the sidewalk and the pigeons and my window reflection The mask I polish in the evening by the morning looks like shit

Pressure to Party ~ Julia Jacklin

I know I've locked myself in my room But I’ll open up the door and try to love again soon

[youremyheaven]

as a mercurial person, when I do have my bad moments, I can always rely on someone like my sister to call me tf out. she’s an Ashlesha girlie, and I think she’s amazing, despite her own flaws. we both believe being direct shows we care. calling out bullshit is our love language. we bicker a lot, which includes a lot of cussing. at first, it was hard accepting the truth because I get really defensive (that explains the stream of swear words lol). she gets more defensive, though—she reminds me of a cat hissing at others for intruding upon her space. I tease her about it cus I find it cute. despite our intense arguments, we still love each other immensely. we are each other’s biggest supporters! I am the oldest child, she’s the middle child. all her life, I’ve been very protective of her because she somehow is surrounded by negative energy. we grew up in a tense environment away from our community, so we also felt we didn’t fit in with our new surroundings growing up as we both experienced feelings of isolation. she has her Ashlesha placements in the 12th house, and I have my Jyeshta placements in the 12th house. I think our shared experience strengthened our bond as the years went on. she went through so much, same as I. when I read your post that mentioned Ashlesha Naks and their life struggles, it mirrored my sister’s origin and upbringing. I couldn’t fathom why the people she meets in every phase of her life would take advantage of her and/or project their misery onto her. that wasn’t until I learned about Ashlesha Naks, I fear. ig her relationship with our mom helps explain why, too… anyways, I may be protective of my sister but I also encourage her to go after her goals and fight for what she wants. and she knows this, too, and would encourage the same for me. she doesn’t hold back, and I don’t either. I know it’s good to have that kind of person in my life to rein me in AND to let loose with. however, I know I can’t rely only on her to save me from my flaws, of course. to my fellow mercury folks- let’s not deny that we are far from perfect. hell, I know I’m not perfect myself. I acknowledge that I have intense energy that’s similar to a repellent. life experience and being raised by a distrustful immigrant father assisted in helping me build this wall that surrounds my soul as a safety measure. I’ve been ostracized and bullied when I was a little girl. I was a sweet kid, but those experiences molded me into a person that feared the world, and as I grew up, I resented it for its restrictions. I was jealous of my peers and remained a recluse. it took me a long time to realize I was in control of the outcome of my own nature. I am in control of learning to outgrow my negative mindset and to be open to understanding. what started my growth was my spiritual inclinations that lead me to learning about astrology and such, and they unraveled the truth I’ve been blinded to for so long (besides my sister’s call-outs lmao). Vedic astrology helped me understand what it meant to be a Jyeshta Nak person. I’m not proud of my flaws, but they are there; I just have to learn how to remedy them and grow for the better. I will forever be on that journey. I just pray I don’t reverse the self evolution with self sabotage. I rather not be a wannabe Trump… no thank you 🙏 people are complex, so why paint ourselves as saints when we are not? what makes y’all think we’re the divine exception to the laws of nature? we are here to live this life and to learn from it. and if you make mistakes? own up to them. it’s easier said than done, but it’s much more rewarding to find ways to transform yourself into a more evolved human being. see your own shadow for what it is. you can’t suppress it because it will only shroud you with its darkness. once you start harming others, you are only digging a deeper hole for yourself. living in delusion and in denial is not healthy. and if you refuse to acknowledge that, then I wish you good luck in trying to crawl yourself out from your self made abyss of a grave 🫡

thanks for sharing your experiences 💛💛

[abri-chan]

So I know Attorney Woo had both the exponential absurdness of soap operas where we go from 0 to 100 real quick with regards to how the court cases mix with personal life, and the cheesiness of a happy ending despite it all, but there were quotes or moments in this show that quite inspired neurodivergent people, especially girls and women. Especially the part when Young-Woo said her life is unusual and peculiar, but still valuable and beautiful. Yes it is cheesy and episode title drop but it is also important to hear. Besides we also have hurting male characters like her father and male lead, and the fact that the romance didn't have any of the red flags and borderline (if not outright) sexual harassment we see in other stories, and was actually healthy is a win. The issue of consent was brought up throughout the show too, and while Extraordinary Attorney Woo feels preachy or in your face at times (similarly to how it is quite educative when it comes to autism), it is a good thing we are moving towards a positive direction when it comes to portraying healthy relationships on screen.

There are things I really liked about Woo as an autistic woman, or in general as a woman in the workforce. For example, the fact she is plain and dresses for comfort; that is something positive that we don't often see because we always assume women should prioritize looks over comfort, and they must be beautiful before they are smart. I also like that she wasn't forced into the nurturing role, and in fact was a woman who loved her job, and who got a love interest through her skills and abilities, and not looks. (What I mean is, the myth persists that women are attracted to competence in men, while men are attracted to looks only in women. So while the male lead finds Woo cute, he first notices her for the unusual way she approaches cases and her intellect, and in fact when confessing he talks a lot about how her ability and enthusiasm around law makes her shine in his eyes.) I understand in Korean cultures Woo's loudness and mannerisms stand out more, because the men too are quite composed, but in a Western context some of the things Woo does, like talk out of turn are things we forgive in men and punish in women, so Woo standing out and not being punished for that is a good thing to see. Now there are a few things for which this drama could have gone the extra mile: Woo is too neat, and in fact all the actors clearly wear makeup--especially for an autistic woman, but women in general, we need to get to a stage where women can show their face on-screen without makeup. The fact that Woo, while we can't blame her for her good looks, and in fact autism or lack of has nothing to do with genetics and how attractive a face is, is in fact cute or still attractive presentation-wise, that is to say, makeup, no blemishes, on-point hair, shows we still have miles to go when it comes to female representation on-screen, but it is a first step. I liked that Woo was more weird than cute, and we should keep it that way, and allow women, neurodivergent or otherwise, to keep being weirder on-screen.

Overall, some things were cliche, bc such is the format of a drama, but within those constraints, Extraordinary Attorney Woo did some very interesting and original things, and the characters are quite interesting, and in the end, there is nothing wrong with a feel-good drama: showing autistic people that they deserve happiness is a good thing. Plus there is also nothing bad with instilling some morality and cooperation into how people should treat colleagues, and others at large, and that in fact we should all try to be fundamentally good, open-minded tho those around us, and learn from our mistakes, and that redemption is possible even if painful.

(I also liked some of the magical realism aspects, such as the whale scenes or the rotating doors as a dance. Plus the fact that so many women are also formed and helped Woo grow is important, and it is great to see more women in the workforce, along with their diverse worldviews and opinions and choices, even if those choices are not what we might agree with. But that range, and its portrayal, is important for women on screen!)

(now there's an argument for why an actress who was actually autistic wasn't chosen to portray Woo, but I won't get into it. as someone on the spectrum tho, I didn't find the portrayal of Woo in-bad-faith or exploitative, and I did enjoy her character. that is my personal opinion tho, and I can't tell others to think like me. I think it is a step in the right direction, as we get these roles more acceptable and then hopefully soon we'll see actual neurodivergent people on screen playing such characters.)

[chaineaira]

"MY LIFE STORY ABOUT CHILDHOOD TO ADULTHOOD"

My name is Chaine Aira Talingting Cabarrubias, and this is my life journey. I'm so lucky to have a supportive family, especially my parents, who worked tirelessly to provide for their family. Despite the challenges we've encountered together, they showered us with love and encouragement. The house echoed with the sound of bedtime stories, whispered secrets, playing music or instruments, and singing together. It was our comfort zone when we were facing our problems and struggles in life. 

During childhood, I sometimes wanted to be a princess in the coronation night however, we have no money to become a princess therefore it's expected that I'm not the one to win the crown, because this princess competition was held during fiesta celebration and this coronation is just based who has the highest money and were just average family and our opponents was rich so basically we just expects to lost but its very funny because I won and become a princess which is very surprising with the turn of event's the funny thing is that I just only won because one of the candidate wanted to have soft drinks and it happen to be that the mother doesn't have any money left in her pocket except the money in the envelope so the mother take 8 pesos from the envelope just to buy her daughter soft drinks and eventually thats there biggest mistake because thats the reason they lost and I win and I only win to them by 75 cents thats very hilarious right, becoming a princess just because of 75 cents and thats me.

Being the eldest child, it's my responsibility to be my siblings role model, and I really want to be the one they look up to. Yeah, I really tried, but as a human, I know that I have flaws too. I'm trying to be a good example to them. As a child, I used to be pampered and always have my way with everything I desired. My parents have been very doting on me since I was also very obedient to them, but all of a sudden that changed because my brother was born, and suddenly the attention was not on me anymore. It made me feel sad for a while because I thought that my parents loved my baby brother more than me. I was jealous, but I couldn't help it. I also felt bad for my behavior, which is why I realized I needed to change it, and eventually I learned how to love and take care of my brother like the good elder sister I am. Then we grow to be very close as siblings until my parents' children give birth to the other four of us.

When I was studying in primary school, I used to be on the honor roll from 1st grade to 3rd grade. At that time, I knew that I made my parents proud, but when I reached 4th grade, my grades suddenly declined, which made me sad because I felt that I had disappointed my parents. I really feel down, and I'm not the cheerful little girl I'm used to being. At that time, my parents noticed my sadness, and they decided that they had to do something to cheer me up. Since it's summer vacation, my parents plan to spend our vacation in my mother's hometown in the province to have some fun and, at the same time, create some happy memories that we spend together. Also, my parents told me that there's no need to be sad about me not getting an award or honor roll because they said that it's okay as long as I pass, and most important, I did my very best and studied very hard, and that's more than enough for them. At that very moment, I promised myself that next time I'll always try my hardest as a daughter to make my parents proud, and I'll make sure that their effort and sacrifices to send me to a good school are worth it. Although we struggle financially, my parents always make sure to provide us with food and a happy home to live in. They also make sure for all of us to continue our education, even though sometimes they are at their hardest to support our family financially. But still, they strive to do anything and everything to successfully raise us and make us respectful and kind-hearted people.

As a teenager, my high school and senior high school moments were very memorable. I met new people and new friends, and I always wanted to explore and learn new things that could make me grow and develop into who I am right now. At this age, I have learned from the people I've been with that there's nothing permanent in this life because even the people we cherish and treasure the most have to leave us, and it's all part of the journey. Only my family is always there for me during my ups and downs. They didn't leave me when I was at my hardest times in life. They are always there for me every time I feel down, and they always cheer me up and encourage me to go beyond life. And that is why I want to work harder to give my family a stable life, and my goal is to give my parents a comfortable lifestyle during their older years. I'm not perfect, but I'm trying my best to be better because, as humans, everybody makes mistakes, but those mistakes can also make us stronger and teach us a life lesson. I also accepted my failures and mistakes, and my parents also taught me that everybody must accept defeat because not anything in this world you want, you can have it. Because if you can't experience being defeated, you can't be the winner in the end. Life lessons can be harsh; just humbly accept them and surrender yourself to the Lord, who will guide you to be who you want to be in the future.

[msnanu]

Wow there is a lot to unpack in this chapter. They were doing so well in the beginning. Cooking, doing dishes, watching tv, having good conversations that went deeper than sexual stuff. Then she opened up about her dad. Only to hear JK hooking up with another girl. What a slap in the face. And then he has the balls to try and act like the victim at the end there. He really was in full asshole mode. If I were her, I would have acted the same way. If that's what he's going to do, then he's not worth her time. Her actions at the end were totally justified, and she handled it really well. I wouldn't mind her spending more time with Mingyu. I think her and JK need some room to grow. Especially JK. He knows he has feelings that are more than just lust, but he doesn't know what they are or how to process or accept them. So until he learns that, I don't think they can be together. They would just wind up hurting each other over and over again, like they've been doing this whole time. He needs to fully grasp that he wants her on a deeper level, and then he can fight to get her back. The ball is in his court at this point.

I was waiting for your review so eagerly, Ericaaa 🥰

You know, as I was writing this chapter I almost got angry at myself because they were doing soooooo well at the beginning of it, like finally they were treating each other like human beings! But well, good things never last 🤣, at least we got to understand a little bit more about our girl and those defensive attitudes on her side.

I do agree with your approach, JK definitely needs to do some introspective work and accept that the feelings that he has for our girl are genuine and not just a result of being too much time by her side. If they don't address the elephant in the room, it'll always end up badly, that's for sure. And as they get closer, each fight or disagreement cuts deeper than the last one.

It's amazing how everyone is rooting for Minho now 🤭. We'll see if JK is able to face his mistakes and learn from them. Same for our girl. Or maybe they'll keep going with this endless cycle?

Thanks for your support, bubs. Reading your reviews is one of my favorite things when posting new chapters 💜

[stalemateserial]

55

Their schedules were beginning to align closer. They were growing more accustomed to the temporal state of the station, the circadian disruption that was constant sunlight, zero nuance. Judith could hear Ruth coming to bed before she'd fully fallen asleep, and Ruth could still feel the linger of Judy when she woke up. Would it have always been that way, or was it because of their situation? Judith couldn't help but worry. She could have occupied her mind with the experiment, another observation of weightlessness on something they had only ever applied Earth physics to. It didn't matter. They would be replaced, their notes updated by scientists that understood more. Had a better chance. The opportunity to learn from mistakes.

You signed up for this.

Why not focus on the game? The board is opening up now, pieces need to be kept track of. The earlier the development, the better. Judith had always been reserved, thoughtful, the picture of what her society wouldn't disturb her for being. When she was aggressive in chess, she was called decisive, bold. When she was the same way in primary school, she was called to the headmaster's office.

This was supposed to be a place where no one could tell me how to behave.

But even if there were no one else, she'd do that all by herself, wouldn't she? The damage was well and done, after all. She'd develop her bishop early, she decided. Save her pawns.

"Bishop to G2."

"Oh. Oh!" There was going to be more time between moves now, more deliberation. Judith hoped Ruth would have a response when the experiment ended, but she kept thinking. Thirty minutes later, Ruth was looking out at the Earth when she finally announced "Pawn to D5".

"I'm glad you're putting up a fight now."

"It does give me something to think about."

Judith pauses, lets the conversation hang weightless in the air. Maybe mission control would like some notes about that, the effect of weightlessness on awkward silences. She's wracking her brains for something to say, but she can't think of anything. Everything sounds wrong, even now, when there's nothing else to lose.

"Do you think I'll be afraid right up until the end?"

"You're supposed to be afraid."

"I know, but I don't want to be."

"You can't stop being afraid by wanting to be. You have to accept your fear, not let it control your thoughts."

"Let's just talk, it'll help me feel better. Tell me a story about America."

"What kind of story?"

"I don't know, something from when you were a girl."

Ruth leans back, a challenge considering their environment, staring in the direction she'd consider up. "I told you I'm from New York?"

"Yes, and I said I wished I was from the original York instead of Surrey so I could make a little joke."

"Yeah, I remember that now. Well, when I was about nine years old, my younger brother and I took our bikes out from the suburbs to the heart of the city, where you can ride in-between cars since the traffic moves so slow. We'd heard there was an ice cream shop that gave out scoops for a dime on Sundays. We'd made it nearly all the way there when we bumped into this guy. He wasn't huge, but he was still bigger than two kids. We tried to apologize but he gave us this look like he was going to tan our hides into a belt. He starts yelling and screaming, kicking up a fuss, trying to snatch our bikes from us. Just when he's about to get his hands on them, this lady in a suit, had about an inch on the guy in her heels, screams at him that she's got a brick in her purse and she'll bash his head in if he doesn't leave those kids alone."

"My lord, you both must have been frightened."

"Jake and I knew he couldn't really do anything, although I did really like that bike. I was more impressed by the woman, though. She walked us the rest of the way there and sat with us while we ate our ice cream. She said she had a daughter around my age I'd probably get along with who could use some friends. I said I'd be delighted to meet her."

Ruth stopped speaking then, like it was where the story was meant to end. She kept staring up, a soft, easy smile on her face.

"Surely that can't be all there was to the story?"

"I don't have a lot of good stories, Judy. Tell me one tomorrow, and I'll tell a little more."