#give us a little razzle

[poebrey]

I need snw to do better with diversity just so I can stop seeing the dudebros calling it the not woke star trek

[raginglesbian2006]

Who's a good boy?

Lucifer x reader

A/N: I've wanted to write a romantic scenario for my second best boi (first is Alastor, obvi) so here we go. Look at how cute he is :3

It was another day in hell, just as hellish as the day before. You couldn't complain though, having found a home at the Hazbin Hotel.

You were there at its doorstep the day the princess of hell proposed her idea on the news. Despite its bad reception, you knew you had to go visit. You had no clue why you were in hell in the first place, having made sure you were good when you were alive. So, a place in hell that was made for redemption and a chance to go to heaven meant the world to you.

Being in hell helped you get used to the manipulative and cruel sinners that walked down the streets like they hadn't just killed off a bunch of people two seconds ago.

Even though Charlie was an exception when it came to the people you'd usually meet, you hadn't expected her dad, the literal king of hell, to be such a sweetheart.

⊰──── 《∘◦♡◦∘》 ────⊰

You were with the other residents of the hotel, decorating the place the moment Vaggie got on your asses about making the best first impression for Lucifer's arrival.

You had been tasked with baking cookies. Given your affinity for the culinary world when you were alive, you started on your task right away. You pulled out the glazed soft apple cookies, your favorite, from the oven and left it on the kitchen table to rest. You stood there guarding the dish, just in case Niffty tried to take some for herself.(She did but you held her back pretty easily).

"Ok guys, it's showtime!" Charlie yelled suddenly. You rushed to the hotel lobby with your tray of cookies and stood there with the others. You wished you had more time to tidy up but your flour-caked hair and apron would have to do.

Charlie opened the door to reveal a short pale man with a ridiculously large hat. That...was Lucifer?

"CHARLIE!" the man exclaimed, wounding his arms around his daughter's frame and hugging her tight.

"H-Hi Dad!" Charlie stuttered as she struggled for breath. Once she was finally let go, she took a deep breath in and showcased the somewhat okay-ish decor of the hotel and its residents.

You saw Lucifer bend down and give his attention to the little kit "Kee Kee" and then turn his attention to "Razzle" and "Dazzle". You chuckled at his behavior. No way was the original bad boy of hell this adorable.

After his unsavory introduction to Alastor, Charlie started introducing him to every one of you.

"Annnd, this is our resident baker! They make amazing treats for everyone from time to time!" Charlie said, introducing you to her dad.

"Greetings your majesty, it is a pleasure to meet you," you gave a little bow, "I made some cookies for you to try, if you like."

Lucifer picked one cookie from your tray and inspected it for a bit, before taking a bite. You did not know whether you held your breath because you were scared of his critique or because you did not realize how gorgeous he looked up close. He was an angel, alright.

His eyes lit up and he looked up at you, "This is excellent! You really have a talent in this."

Your face heated up at his compliment and you mumbled out a small thank you.

This was your very first interaction with the king of hell.

⊱ ──── 《∘◦♡◦∘》 ──── ⊰

After the fight against the angels and the rebuilding of the hotel, Lucifer started spending more time at the hotel to help out his daughter.

While searching for Charlie, he found you bustling around in the kitchen, preparing something.

"What are you doing?"

Your head hit the underside of the cabinet at the sudden interruption. You emerged out with a whisk in hand, nursing your wound.

"Y-your majesty, I was making a strawberry rhubarb pie...well, at least trying to," your eyes glanced over at the mess that was your creation. Instead of a flaky solid crust, you ended up with something that could only be described as "a lump" and your fillings decided to make themselves known outside the crust, spreading all over your pie- almost resembling a massacre.

You were usually good at stuff like this. You wondered what you got wrong with this particular recipe.

Lucifer hummed and asked for the recipe.

"I suppose it's only best to start over, shall we?" he said, as he started walking towards where the bag of flour was kept. You could only follow behind him, your face flabbergasted. You suddenly felt very nervous.

What you would come to find out, during this little interaction, was that Lucifer was really good at baking. Like, really really good. His hands were swift but precise when handling the dough and his instructions were clear and concise as the two of you worked through the steps to create the perfect rhubarb pie.

When you pulled out a successful pie from the oven, your eyes gleamed with excitement. You looked over at Lucifer, who was already getting ready to slice up the pie.

"Thank you for helping me out, Your Majesty, " you said, giddily, "Your baking skills are honestly out of this world!"

Lucifer laughed, his smirk widening, "Well of course! Just because I rule all of hell, doesn't mean I can't bake a mean pie!"

He looked at you and said, "And please, do call me Lucifer."

⊱ ──── 《∘◦♡◦∘》 ──── ⊰

Over time, the two of you bonded over your love for cooking. He would frequently join in on your cooking/baking escapades, sometimes acting as the taste tester for your new creations. You enjoyed his presence and grew comfortable with him as the days went on. Safe to say, he felt the same way.

One day, you decided to visit him in his workshop with a plate of freshly prepared caramel apples --something Lucifer himself taught you.

You knocked on the door, announcing your arrival, "Lucifer! It's me! May I come in?"

You heard a loud crash on the other side of the door and a very distinct "shit shit shit" coming from the king of hell himself. Your brows scrunched up in worry. What was that man up to?

You were about to barge into the room yourself but you were interrupted by the door opening to reveal a very disheveled Lucifer.

He called out your name, "Welcome to my workshop! What brings you here?"

As you entered the room, your eyes gazed upon the innumerable rubber ducks that spread across the area. You almost stepped over one as you made your way inside.

"Pray tell," you turned towards him, eyes narrowed in scrutiny, "What was that loud crash I heard?"

"What crash?" Lucifer chuckled uncomfortably, his eyes looking everywhere else but yours.

You sighed and placed the tray of caramel apples on his work desk.

"You do realize I've spent enough time with you to know when you're lying, yes?" you enquired.

He tsked, "Lying? pshhh, I don't lie!"

You have a half-hearted nod, clearly not believing his bullshit. He ignored your obvious sarcasm and moved closer to the delicious treats laid out on the desk.

"Oh my! You managed to make these all by yourself!" his hands reached out to one of them, taking a bite, "And they're delicious!"

You chuckled, "Well I did learn from the best, didn't I?"

His pale complexion reddened as he avoided your eyes once more, focusing more on the treat he was munching on.

You were about to ask him about the crash you heard again, but you were interrupted by a loud oink at the door.

"Fat Nuggets!" you cheered, as you got down on what little space was available to you at the mercy of the overbearing amount of ducks in the room.

You patted your knees which signaled to the little pig to come bounding towards you. You giggled as he jumped into your lap and snuggled into you.

You scratched his pinkish skin, "Who's a good boy?"

"Me."

Your hands paused, resting on the pig who let out a single oink. Your face started heating up as you looked up towards Lucifer, who was still focused on munching on the caramel apples, already having had two.

"I-I'm sorry...w-what?" you stuttered.

Lucifer turned around to look at you , mid bite. His face scrunched up in confusion, "What?"

Silence occupied the room for a few seconds, save for the pig oinking every now and then.

It was as if the light bulb popped up on top of Lucifer's big hat and his face started turning the same colour as the bright red caramel-dipped apples he was chewing on.

"I-..." Lucifer trailed off, suddenly finding it difficult to swallow his meal.

Picking up the pig into your arms, you got up. Unable to meet his eye, afraid that he would see your face flushed in embarrassment, you said, "Welp, I guess it's time for me to do..the thing I was...supposed to be doing!"

Before you could turn around on your heel, Lucifer reached out, "W-wait a minute-"

You gasped as he stepped on one of his rubber ducks and stumbled to the floor, his hat falling off his head.

"I'm okay!" he grumbled, as he got up, his hands dusting over his garments. He picked up his hat and brushed over it once, before putting it on his head. He looked towards you, confused to see your eyes trained on something lying on the ground.

His eyes followed yours and landed on a rubber duck. A rubber duck that bore a very similar resemblance to well...you.

Lucifer fumbled, picked up the duck, and hid it away from your sight,.

"Oooh boy, how did that get there, haha!" he laughed, awkwardly.

Your face might as well start boiling at this point.

"D-did you make that....for me?" you enquired, the pig already having jumped out of your hands and on his way back to his owner.

Lucifer's eyes widened as he sheepishly said, "Maybe?"

You walked closer to him.

"M-may I see it?" you asked.

Lucifer gulped once, before moving his hands from behind his back, to reveal the duck he had spent so much time working on.

You gently took his creation from his hands and held it in the palms of your own, your eyes lighting up as you looked at the mini-duck version of yourself.

"I-I promise, I wasn't being creepy," Lucifer started, "I was going to give this to you once I worked on it a little more. I know it looks a bit undone and-"

"It's lovely," your voice interrupted him.

His golden heart started beating impossibly louder at the sight of your widening smile. You were smiling...at something he made... for you. He worried if you could hear his heartbeat.

"I- I'm still not satisfied with the product, " he looked towards the floor, fixing his bowtie out of nervousness.

You let out a chuckle, "Is that what the loud crash was about? Did you fall out of your chair trying to hide this from me?"

He looked towards you, embarrassed that you'd guessed right. You laughed louder at his silent admission. Watching the king of hell squirm under your gaze as his face turned fully red, was indeed a sight to behold.

You tiptoed closer to him, took off his hat, and gently lifted his tomato-faced visage. His eyes widened as you cheekily smiled at him. Then you kissed his forehead, relishing in the way he stiffened. He was too adorable for your own good.

You stepped back, putting his hat back on his head, and placed the incomplete duck version of your likeness into his trembling hands.

"Do keep working on it till it is to your satisfaction, hm?" you said.

He nodded his head fervently. His face still held the same shade of red.

What came next was something he swore would be his undoing.

You leaned in closer and whispered in his ear, "Good boy."

It took him a while to recover from that assault.

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

maaan it'd be so EASY for chaggie to end up with an adopted cannibal kid after the battle with heaven, tho

with Vaggie's past (and that being a Thing she can Charlie can talk about now), her having her big WAIT THIS IS EVIL IM BEING EVIL moment over a cannibal child she couldn't bring herself to kill....

add to that Charlie, who is now the DIRECT reason quite a few cannibals are Extra Super Dead, thanks to her inspiring them into battle with her song-

"Have you ever felt like you're willing to die-"

very rousing, maybe less fun for her to remember after some of them DID die-

oh hush y'all eat ppl im sure dying isn't the most shocking outcome of a night out that you can imagine

Charlie legit pitched facing final death as a "chance to travel" and "see more of hell" and she did it with a jolly song and dance and GOOD ON HER for getting a fighting force to protect the dream of sinners someday being redeemed! ....but yeah. kinda heavy for her to remember later on, i'd think

and Cannibal Town residents are so tight knit with each other that it's a literal PLOT POINT Charlie has to face off against- no way they don't have families, no way there weren't families broken up by the battle at the Hazbin Hotel- at Charlie's hotel

No way Charlie wouldn't feel guilty about and responsible as FUCK for any little cannibal kid who ended up orphaned as a result....

ahem

(is that kid wearing like frisbee on their head?? whatever. it looks kinda like a halo don't it. kinda ironic. isn't it)

Rosie would even have to SUGGEST anything! She's got a good read on Charlie now and she's 100% on board with Alastor's plans to "guide" Charlie (cough manipulate and use cough cough)

and what would make a better leverage point than introducing a little cannibal kid for Charlie to worry and feel guilty over? an ORPHANED cannibal kid. Orphaned by the same fight Charlie led the cannibals into. Orphaned when the kid's parents DIED fighting for Charlie

(great way for Charlie to always keep Cannibal Town in mind anyway. Good way to make sure she's protective of it)

but oh the irony if Rosie didn't even MEAN for chaggie to end up with the kid!

if Rosie DIDN'T fully understand- just how much Charlie would want to give a loving family and childhood to someone, when she herself had one and is now dealing (trying to deal) with all that crumbling away as an adult-

ALSO THO. IF. Hypothetically. the orphan was the same kid Vaggie spared. Like how many sinner kids are there in hell. Not too many running around. If it was the same kid. if Vaggie saw that

....if the kid saw her- or, no, even better- if when she tried talking quietly with them, and when they heard her voice like that they looked up at her suddenly like

cannibal kid: "...Go."

Vaggie: (instantly standing up) "Right, sorry- I'll go get Charlie, or- would you rather Rosie-" (stops) (looks down)

Vaggie: "...?"

cannibal kid: (is holding onto the end of her hair ribbon)

cannibal kid: (whispering) "Run."

cannibal kid: (hopefully) "Now...?"

Vaggie: "...you, remember?"

cannibal kid: (nods)

Vaggie: (slowly sits back down)

Vaggie: "Yeah, hey. That was... that was a thing, wasn't it. It's, been a while. Three years... didn't think you'd recognize me."

cannibal kid: "Didn't. Look different."

Vaggie: "The long hair, missing eye and missing wings is a lot of change, huh?"

cannibal kid: (shrugs) "You're happy." (sniffles) "It's different."

Vaggie: ".....well, Charlie's the one who did all that. She's, pretty great at that stuff. And she'd like make things different for you too now. If you want."

cannibal kid: "........if I stay at the hotel... can I play with Razzle every day? Not, not just when princess Charlie brings him over?"

Vaggie: "Kinda looks like your stuck with him either way to me. Maybe check he's getting enough air, stuffed down into your coat front like that?"

cannibal kid: (unbuttoning an air hole for Razzle) "But he belongs at the hotel, where Dazzle's murmur- marble- um- murder dial-"

Vaggie: "Memorial..?"

cannibal kid: "Where Dazzle's memorial is."

Vaggie: "If you're okay leaving Cannibal Town, you can belong there too."

cannibal kid: "I'm okay leaving town."

cannibal kid: (beat)

cannibal kid: "It's boring."

Vaggie: "Yeah well, the hotel is definitely not gonna be boring."

cannibal kid: "Does it get blown up EVERY week, or just on special occasions?"

Vaggie: "It sure felt like every week but we're trying to cut back."

cannibal kid: "Dang."

please imagine tho, Charlie seeing this sad orphan kid who won't talk to anyone, maybe even "hasn't so much as had a nibble on anyone, the poor little biter" according to Rosie, since being orphaned-

and the next time Charlie visits she brings RAZZLE

and she introduce the two of them, then stands back and watches her childhood plushy turned demon win over this kid SO FAST, disappearing into their tiny but fierce little hugs, getting them to share a donut with him, showing them how to do a little song and dance routine (one him, Charlie, and Dazzle used to do) bringing a bit of normalcy back to a kid who's parents are dead because of her-

Charlie thinking to herself, that the least she can do, really, is give this kid as many of the best parts of HER own childhood as she can

[aryesdanger24]

Hot take: Alastor doesn't like being the weakest in a room and especially wants to be noticed (he is the center of attention). We can see it when Carmille addresses him at the table for his absence and immediately brushes him off. We see him prickling at the comment but he let's it be since he knows them well and recognizes they still know him enough to recognize his absence.

So, Alastor notices immediately how much everyone puts into seeing Lucifer (we see how he observes when he walks in the room), and I bet there is some envy at the attention. Especially when he doesn't immediately notice Alastor and heads for his daughter.

Then Lucifer leaves Charlie to greet the things not even addressed in the show yet like Kiki and the Razzle Dazzle boys. Instantly putting him below everyone on the list in terms of meeting him.

So, he is thoroughly offended and brings attention back to himself by discussing the wall and instantly Lucifer is confused why his daughter didn't answer and then proceeded to belittle Alastor....which uh clearly leads to a FUCK you comment.

It is the result of not only being ignored and belittled, but also that Lucifer is physically and mentally not as focused on his appearance which I feel might play some part Alastor's jealousy. Lucifer doesn't have to constantly defend himself from people. No one underestimates Lucifer so Alastor takes it upon himself to be his number 1 hater. He revels in his own ability to use Lucifer's daughter as a shield and even a cover to create more distress in the other.

A show that is directly pointed at Lucifer and using Charlie's trust in him to his advantage, he shields and pisses off Lucifer in the process by acting fatherly. That way Lucifer cannot harm him unless he wants Charlie to hate him, which also doubles as a way to be better than Lucifer.

After all, Alastor loves to prey upon weakness and be right about it.

I am not saying that Alastor is not potentially affected by someone (Lillith perhaps?) Which leads him to act this way. Also I am not sure why Alastor let Lucifer finish his father daughter song with Charlie if he aimed to strike issue between them. I think the dad off duet might've been in some way showing Lucifer how absent he was as a father to motivate him to be better.

Regardless of motive, I stick to my theory of Alastor wanting attention which why he has his radio show despite not even killing. He is searching for people to notice him and his absence. Much like when a kid goes on vacations and comes back hoping people ask where they have been.

Update: I have since watched the finale of Hazbin

My view has not changed other than solidifying this envious narcissistic Alastor theory.

The envious part of his so easily seen at the end of the finale as he sang to himself. He desperately wants to be free and clearly has some power being held away by the one who owns him....which only plays into this envy he has towards others.

Moreover, it makes all his little jabs at his character all the more intriguing. He knows his power has been strapped away to some degree but like he tells Charlie "A smile can hide many things and keep you in control no matter what."

That is Alastor's game.

He offered true advise for her for 2 reasons:

1. To avoid extermination since he himself has been limited in power.

2. To reward her for being so easy to manipulate (giving candy to a good kid)

It shows to viewers that Alastor is confident enough to give his behavior away to Charlie. Despite her position she always gave him the respect and fear he craved while being easier to manipulate than most.

Being around her makes him feel powerful and even the hotel does...which is another reason why I believe he is so touchy about being reminded of his deal. This place is clearly a hunting ground that he doesnt want Husk ruining since he is bound here. He is attached to either a main cast member (Charlie being the more obvious choice) or the hotel itself but it's much more likely a cast member.

All and all, that fact makes all the power positioning and false threats and pompous attitude a front to avoid people sensing weakness, but I really believe Alastor craves to be noticed since he gets so many comments about radio being dead and such. He is finding relevancy despite the potential dangers of someone actually calling his bluff. It shows his narcisstic attitude well, that he truly believes he can either talk or bluff his way out of any situation with a dangerous smile.

Also I live for Lucifer and Alastor's rivalry and hatred toward eachother, I hope season 2 has more of their banter.

[goldenamaranthe-blog]

Dumpster Baby 2: Chaggie & Baby

Charlie: (panicking) Perri!? PERRI! Perri, sweetie, come down for Mommy, please?

Perri: (short for Perriwinkle based on her hair and color theme, wings flapping 100 beats a minute as she barely manages to hover around the chandelier in the very, VERY high ceilinged lobby) Hehehehehe!~

Charlie: Sweetie, please come down. Mommy's worried about you falling. Your wings aren't strong enough for those heights yet! (to Angel) How did she even get up that high?! You were supposed to be watching her while I went to the bathroom!

Angel: What? She flapped her wings and used the surrounding furniture to get higher. She can hover pretty damn good for a little tyke.

Charlie: (scolding tone) Angel!

Angel: Tyke! Tiiiiieee-k. Not dyke, Toots.

Vaggie: (flies up to Perri and holds her hands under her belly) Come here, mija. You're about to give Mommy a heart attack.

Perri: (giggles impishly in a way that almost sounds like Lucifer's giggle when he calls Razzle and Dazzle) Mita! Mita! Hehehehehe~

Vaggie: (gently guides Perri to "fly" into Charlie's hands)

Charlie: Oh, thank goodness! (holds Perri tight) No more flying above the coffee table!

Angel: What the fuck is Mita?

Vaggie: (blushes and bristles)

Charlie: (blushing) U-umm.... Perri heard me call Vaggie "Mamacita" one night when I thought she was asleep. And ever since, she's called her Mita.

Angel: HA!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Holy Shit!!! Vaggie's mom name is because you guys had sex with the little tyke in the room!!!

[strawbeerossi]

Warmth

Pairing: Gn!Reader x Aaron Hotchner

Description: When you end up leaving your winter clothes at home before leaving for a case in Alaska, you’re convinced you’re gonna freeze to death. Thank god for Aaron.

Content Warnings/Other: Course language, case matter (nothing specific), tooth rotting fluff, mutual pining, little bit of awkwardness, a nice cuddle session in the end for the ole razzle dazzle

Word Count: 1.7K

Navigation || Masterlist || Request

Fulfilling a request for my beloved @cr1minalskies, I hope you enjoy sweetie. 💐 I did change a few things up, however I still think I captured what you were looking for!

A/N: Also it’s my first gender neutral fic! I’m gonna try and do more Gn!reader and male!reader fics as well to branch out from my typical fem!reader

PS: This wasn't proofread, I just let my heart guide my fingers in writing this. Sorry if it's rough

How did you manage to forget a jacket? You knew that you were going to Alaska for a case and you knew damn well that the weather conditions would call for temperatures cold enough to turn you into an ice pop. It should’ve been something that was triple checked for; a jacket, a beanie, a sweater, a scarf, mittens, anything to combat the freezing temps.

Instead, here you were, arms pulled into your shirt as your bare arms were hugging your torso, trying to use your own body heat to bring warmth to your limbs.

Aaron had quizzed you on what you packed in your go-bag the previous night when you were being called in to go over the case at hand. You were confident to say that you were all set and packed enough warm garments to keep you toasty for a month straight.

What a big liar you were. It wasn’t that you purposefully chose to be freezing to the point where you felt your fingers were going to fall off, you just managed to grab the wrong bag out of your closet.

You strived yourself on having one bag for warmer weather and one for colder weather that you claimed to have labeled and ready for any last minute cases. 

Weren’t you surprised when you pulled out a pair of shorts this morning, which ultimately led to you throwing every article of clothing out of their rightful spots in search of your sweater. 

The end was near, that was all you knew. This weather wasn’t easy, especially due to it being mid-December. There was fresh snow blanketing the grass, the impending snowfall giving a harsher chill to the air.

You always thought that you’d be taken out by an unsub in the line of duty, an honorable death that had meaning.. What cruel fate to know that it was going to end with you being a popsicle instead.

With a blanket wrapped around your shoulders, you were currently standing in the middle of the police precinct. You fiercely denied any kind of jacket from your work colleagues, even if Derek was trying to force his coat on you to cease the incessant chattering of your teeth.

Last thing you needed was for them to be frozen just because they were hellbent on helping you. That would just leave plenty of guilt on your end.

Aaron had taken notice of you earlier in the day though, his eyes fixated on your chattering teeth, blue lips, and rosy cheeks. You were freezing, so bad that you were shaking in your boots and yet you kept refusing jackets, even Spencer’s purple scarf that he’d never share under any other circumstances.

He’d finally had enough though when your nose was almost as red as Rudolph’s. 

“As useful as you’d be navigating us through a winter storm,” Aaron began, a play on the old reindeer tale as he was taking off his puffer jacket and placing it on your shoulders. Unlike the others though, he held the coat in place while you tried fighting him on it.

“Please take it. I don’t need an agent in the hospital with pneumonia.” He stated in a simple tone. He may have had a hard exterior with a tough demeanor, however he wasn’t heartless and about to let anyone freeze.

However with the harsh cold outside, it was his turn to shiver. He knew he couldn’t go for a few days without a jacket, especially knowing this case could last days, maybe even a week because of how deep this damn lead was buried. 

So, he’d managed to slip away in the middle of the day, en route to one of the shops in town where he could get a jacket. However, this jacket was for himself. As much as he loved his thick jacket, he would have to admit that you looked much better in it. 

When he caught up to the team again, he acted as if nothing changed, even if you were paying attention to his new jacket, your heart dropping. You knew he’d end up freezing and here you were, selfishly wearing his jacket while he went out to buy a new one. 

You felt like an ass, your brain not being fair by not reminding you that Aaron forced the coat onto your shoulders and how he practically begged you to wear it in order to avoid you getting sick.

Later in the night, you were gonna make it a point to go talk to Aaron, to return the jacket and tell him that you’d reimburse him the money for the jacket he’d gotten. 

“Going to your boyfriend’s room, Y/N?” The words made you scoff, turning your head while making an obscene hand gesture at Derek. “Fuck off, man. I’m just going to return his jacket.” You huffed, unable to help the heat rising in your cheeks. 

He was your boss and one of your close friends, although you knew that some part of you yearned to see Aaron in a less professional setting and a more intimate one. There was a delusional part of you that assumed that he’d reciprocate those feelings, that he’d want to be with you and give his all to you. 

Vulnerability wasn’t easy for Aaron nor was it easy for you. The walls you both had up seemed impenetrable, even the toughest equipment not being able to knock them down.

That was what killed the hope of anything serious happening between you both. He was your boss anyway, you figured it’d be an HR nightmare in regards to filling out paperwork, fighting transfers, the lot of it.

After a brief knock against the hotel door, you let your hands hold the jacket close to your chest. Even in the hotel, it was freezing. You had on some sweat pants and a long sleeve shirt and yet you were still shaking, the socks on your feet not doing anything to shield your feet from the freezing tile floor. 

Why did it have to be Alaska? It could’ve been in Florida, or maybe even Texas. At least in those states, you wouldn’t be freezing to death. You’d opt for extreme heat to combat the chill.

You were being taken out of your thoughts as soon as you heard two locks clicking and the door opening. What was behind the door though had your eyes nearly bulging out of your sockets. This man was shirtless with pajama pants that hung low on his hips. 

“How haven’t you frozen to death yet?” You asked, dumbfounded. You were covered head to toe and you were freezing but this man didn’t have a shirt nor socks and he seemed comfortable.

“You’re being dramatic, Y/N. It isn’t bad inside the hotel at all.” He commented, the normal stoic expression being broken by a lopsided smile. “You wouldn’t find me like this outside though.” He chuckled, now stepping out of your way as an invitation to come into his room.

“What are you doing up? Not that I don’t mind talking to you, you just seemed exhausted.” 

“Well, I uh.. I wanted to return your jacket. I noticed you went out and bought a new one, it bothered me to know that I made you freeze while I was comfortable.”

The words had his eyebrows knitted together in confusion. “I offered you my jacket because it bothered me that you looked like you were locked in a meat locker. I’d say we are even, hmm?”

“Aaron,” You let out an exasperated sigh. “I just want to return it.”

“That won’t be necessary.”

“What?’

“You look better in it than me. I couldn’t wear it around the team again without them telling me that I don’t look near as good as you.” 

The words made your heart beat rapidly in your chest. He thought you looked good in his jacket?

“Y/N, I’m serious. Keep it. It fits you nicely and I know for a fact that you’ll be warm. I won’t have to worry about you not having anything warm either.” Aaron had offered a smile before watching as you hugged the jacket without realizing, looking like you were going to faint. 

“I don’t mean to be forward,” Those words made you feel like you were going to puke. “But I was just about to relax for the night. Wanna watch a movie with me?”

This was a dream. You’re dreaming. Aaron Hotchner asked you to spend time with him. One on one.

“Sure!” You said quickly while clearing your throat soon after. Smooth like crunchy peanut butter. “I mean, yeah. I would love to. I am freezing in my room anyway and yours seems warmer..” 

The black jacket was being placed on the nightstand in the room while you approached the bed to sit down, Aaron nodding as he was seated beside you. “I’m sure it’s because my room is warmer.” There was a hint of teasing in his tone while he leaned against the headboard, holding up the blanket for you. 

The minute that you were crawling beside him, you could already feel a warmth radiating from his bare skin. 

Suddenly, you weren’t shaking from the air anymore. Your cheeks were pink, your hands on your lap as you stayed put beside Aaron. This seemed asinine. You never pictured him being the type to ask for company on a whim. If you were honest, you always assumed he’d be asking people to leave him alone instead.

It seemed silly because you’d known him for years now, however it felt like meeting him all over again. You awkwardly sat, gaze on the small television that was on some random channel just to fill in the silence. 

“Y/N? You alright?” There was that concerned tone again. “I’m okay! Just.. Cold.” You laughed, rubbing the back of your neck, gaze falling on your close friend on the team as he was offering a small smile, his arm wrapping loosely around your shoulders. “Well, you can get a little closer, if you want. I really don’t mind. I’ve been told that I’m like a human furnace.”

Well, he was hot, kept you very warm, and he was able to make you comfortable. Maybe that really was the case. “You’re sure it’s not weird?” Although your body was already leaning against his, your head was unable to help itself as it rested against his shoulder.

“Not weird at all.”  

[pr3ttyb0ym2g]

BODYGUARD ꒰CHARLIE 𝘅 male! 𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳꒱

𝙎𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮 ;; Platonic, fluff. In which you're another one of Charlie Morningstar's guards, like Razzle and Dazzle, you are an extremely powerful being gifted to guard Charlie, courtesy of Lucifer. A clump of multiple scenarios I thought of. Doesn't make 100% sense. 𝘼/𝙉 ;; I love the bodyguard trope.. Also, I desired a found family type of fic. Started strong, ended bad. This was going to be deleted, but uh, i have too many request drafts to finish. SO HERE IS A LIL SMTH. If people like it, i'll write more with this concept.

While you weren't entertained, you weren't bored of being Charlie's bodyguard either. Truth be told, you used to be a servant of Lucifer, a strong fighter who obeyed whatever command he asked. You were one of the first few sinners to enter Hell and quickly associated with the devil. You were eons old and stuck by Lucifer's side, without a soul contract as well. If you were asked why you never left him, you'd answer, "There isn't much else to do in Hell." And plus, Lucifer was a special individual; for the devil, he had his quirks. But what shocked you for the first time in centuries was Lucifer appointing you as his newborn daughter's guard. Seriously, of all guards, he chose you? You offhandedly mentioned how he had several other talented servants who could serve Charlie just as well as you would, but Lucifer seemed oddly insistent on you. Lucifer trusted you more than any other, so you agreed. You watched as Charlie grew up, taking care of the girl as Lucifer went through his depression and Lilith began distancing herself. You didn't sign up to play babysitter, but you did it nonetheless. As Charlie reached toddler age, Lucifer would give her two other guards named Razzle and Dazzle. They were two dragons that had transformation abilities, but they would typically stay in their smaller forms. Charlie was an interesting girl, from childhood to adulthood, she stayed interesting to you. She was compassionate and caring. "[name]..?" A young Charlie would peer up at you, her eyes filled with admiration and adoration for you. "Yes, Charlie?" You responded, looking down at the small child, she was extremely short compared to you and no taller than your knee. You secretly hoped she had not inherited Lucifer's height, but Lilith's instead. "Can you carry me?" She nervously pleaded, reaching a hand to tug on your pants' fabric. "Of course, whatever you desire." You cautiously took a knee, wrapping your arms around the small girl and hugging her close to your chest. Charlie had asked to be carried often, something conditioned by Lucifer and Lilith. They both coddled the girl and often held her in their arms. But as the couple suddenly began to dispute and grow increasingly busy, neither of them could hold Charlie. So you did. You held her often, walking in her stead. You don't recall a single day she wasn't held by you. Maybe you were also conditioning Charlie's dependency, but you'd never admit that. "Charlie? Sweetie, where are you?" Lucifer asked with a panicked laugh, practically flipping the whole castle upside down to find his daughter. It was one of the few days you were away from Charlie and Lucifer just couldn't find her. Lucifer was freaking out. Charlie was a good kid, not a trouble-maker at all! So where did she go? No way she ran away, she's only a child.

And Razzle and Dazzle also couldn't find the girl. While they had keen senses, they couldn't smell Charlie over the heavy bloodshed outside. All they could smell was iron. "Honey, please come out, your dad is getting a little worried..!" He was 100— 300% worried. God, he just prayed you got back soon. You always knew everything about Charlie, having spent the most time with her, as shamefully as Lucifer could admit. A loud crash was heard outside the castle, causing the building to momentarily shake, adding onto Lucifer's worry. "Dad!" Charlie cried out, scared and running into the room with her arms out. "Charlie!" Lucifer quickly hugged the girl and took in a deep breath. "Where were you hiding?" "I hid where [name] told said to." Charlie cried, sniffling into her father's white collar. He smelled of faint gunpowder up close. "Where [name] told you to..? Now why would you do that, Char Char?" "He said to hide in our secret place if I'm scared while he's away." Lucifer paused. Ah, you set up an area for Charlie if anything went wrong during extermination day, the only yearly event day you're gone. You did this as a precaution, you didn't really trust Heaven since Adam was leading the extermination. And Adam was a fucking nutjob, so you didn't expect him to maintain their deal of sparing the Morningstars. You thought you were just being paranoid, but paranoia is better than a dead child and all Hell breaking loose. "[name], you're back." Lucifer greeted you, watching as you entered his office, covered in blood and grime. You stared at him as a mix of liquid dripped onto his carpet. Lucifer was at his typical large desk, resting comfortably on his large chair and staring straight at you. "Your majesty." You returned the greeting, giving a mock bow, clearly dazed. You were too exhausted to think straight. "Did you see Charlie yet?" Lucifer interlaced his fingers in front of himself, giving you his undivided attention. "No, I haven't." You didn't know if sweat or blood dripped down your forehead. "Are you feeling okay? Looks like Lilith sent you on a tough one." Lucifer was aware of why you were missing every extermination day, it was due to Lilith's orders. Specifically orders he was not allowed to know. Lucifer respected Lilith's boundaries and never questioned it. "Splendid. Would you like me to speak to Charlie?" You responded quickly as if you were dismissing his concerns. "No, no, you don't have to talk to her now. She's probably asleep anyway. How about you take a shower?" Lucifer urged you, giving you a smile. "I will do so. Goodnight, your Majesty." You spun around, beginning to walk out with your sore legs. "Oh and [name]?" You paused your step. "Thanks for looking out for my daughter."

[respectthepetty]

Not only is the matchmaker in I Cannot Reach You a Pink Person, Hosaka (he has a pink barrette in his hair and pink bags),

But the show is about to win a colors award because it uses a COLOR-CODED bokeh effect!

I repeat,

The bokeh effect is color coded!

And it happens every time one of the boys has BIG feelings

So of course, Blue Boy Yamato is always in his feelings

But Kakeru, who is a Yellow/Orange Oddity, is starting to question his feelings more and more.

Even the opening credits has their colors combined in the effect.

And when they were reminiscing about their childhood, both their colors appeared.

The show was already giving me color-coded phones, different color-coded bags and them eating different color-coded foods (and juice boxes)

But now it's giving me a color-coded effect as well as a color-coded amulet for a love confession.

And we ended this episode with Kakeru in a blue shirt hiding with Yamato under an orange and yellow blanket.

This show is adorable. It understands the color-coding assignment and has also thrown a little razzle dazzle on top (like those cute color-coded floating orbs and the implication that Kakeru has loved Yamato a lot longer than he realizes).

You're doing great, babe. Don't change.

[phenphoenix]

Something I wrote with a semi-canon mindset. This could happen, it may not. Just for fun, really

[In Charlotte's room at the hotel, an alarm goes off which Charlotte blows up. Razzle blitzes to the kitchen to gets coffee whilst Dazzle gets Charlotte's bathrobe and wraps it around her. She takes her coffee, drinks it and puts the mug back before standing over Vaggie] Charlotte: Rise and shine, Vaggie! [Charlotte gets passed an accordion, with which she plays it loudy and wakes up Vaggie] Vaggie: *groans* Babe, not the accordion again… Charlotte: jumps into bed Hey, blame dad. He inspired my love of music and showmanship. [Razzle play the same note on the accordion as Dazzle hands Charlotte notes] Charlotte: So, on top of the usual shit {mutters} redemption, love and feelings... {normal voice}, he wants a talk about what happened with the… vibrators… I got a thing down in Lust with uncle Ozzie, sorry you can't come. I'll… get some more vibrators… but that should allow us time for dinner. I know this great place just outside of Cannibal Town we can try. Vaggie: *sits up in bed* Charlie… I… are we doing the right thing? Charlotte: sighs Again, Vaggie? Look, I don't give a shit who knows who I date, and neither should you. *cute cuddle moment* Vaggie: Yeah… *looks down at her phone* Charlotte: *teleports to her side* I know some breakfast will cheer you up! I got us burgers! Vaggie: *snickers as they get out of bed* Anyone tell you you're a maniac? Charlotte: Burger time! Burger time! BURGER TIME! [laugh together as they exit the bedroom. Vaggie gives a sad look. Cut to later when Vaggie enters a room and walks to Velvette.] Velvette: Well, did you get it? Vaggie: takes phone out Yeah… [Vaggie reluctantly hands her phone over, Velvete snatches it.] Vaggie: Please, don't-. Velvette: Did I ask your opinion? [Vaggie looks scared then sad] Velvette: *looks through the phone* Hell's princess in my back pocket. I won't just be an overlord, I'll be the queen bitch! [Vaggie looks sad about what she did. Velvette smiles and opens the opens a file, causing the phone to fly across the room in a grand display and project a widescreen image. Much to their shock, Charlotte stares at them] Charlotte: Hi, Velvette! [The two stare in shock] Charlotte: Oh yeah, I know who you are. And I know you put Vaggie up to this. Seems you have no idea who you are FUCKING with! [Vaggie looks scared, Velvette rolls her eyes] Velvette: Calm down, babydoll. It's a recording [Velvette swipes at the image of Charlotte, only for her to be right behind it.] Charlotte: No, it isn't [Velvette stumbles backwards in fear] Vaggie: Charlie, I-. Charlotte: Was told to get blackmail on me by this little bitch? I know. The youngest and dumbest of the overlords who thinks she's tough shit. *hugs Vaggie* Don't worry, I don't blame you. [Vaggie starts tearing up. Charlotte lets go as Vaggie disappears, teleported by the princess. Charlotte walks over to Velvette, who's scrambling to leave] Charlotte: Ah, ah, ah~. You and I have business. The way you treat Vaggie is… shitty. So, you have three options; You can give her to me and I'll never see your dumbass again. You could keep Vaggie's soul… under supervision… [Velvette looks to the side, seeing Razzle or Dazzle with a bat.] Charlotte: Or… I can fucking END YOUR LIFE!! [Velvette looks up in fear] Charlotte: We both know what Vaggie is. So if I can't do it on my own, and I am going to be thorough, I know where she keeps her spear. *leans in* What's it gonna be?

Ohhhhh! I like this! Could def be the base for a more fleshed out storyline that happens later on!!

[americanhoney913]

I'm obsessed with Hazbin Hotel and Pokemon, so I just had to give everyone teams! I didn't want to give anyone specific types but things to fit both their personality, growth, and just Pokemon I thought they'd have.

Explanations below:

Charlie's main Pokemon is her Umbreon, to represent KeeKee, and Dreepy to represent Razzle and Dazzle. Hisuian Typhlosion is said to purify spirits before leading them to the afterlife but can also unleash those spirits when they're enraged. Quaxly and Mime Jr. are just fun little nods to Charlie's love of dance and Mime Jr. can also learn the move Sing. I imagine them singing and dancing along with her.

Vaggie's main Pokemon is actually her Absol. I was going to make it her Iron Valiant, which I believe all Exorcists would have, but I wanted to do something different for her. I gave her Pokemon that have weapons and a moth to call back to her earlier designs. Her Espeon is a parallel to Charlie's Umbreon. Because they might be the reverse in personality, you still have Heaven (the sun) and Hell (moon).

Alastor was difficult to give Pokemon to since he's such an enigma. His main Pokemon would be a Rotom that inhabits his microphone. Skeledirge has a microphone and is a ghost type. I'd imagine the Skeledirge has is much more malicious than is typical of its species. Dedenne is another Pokemon that I'd link to radio waves while Froslass and Runerigus are "evil" Pokemon. Runerigus even has strange tentacles like Alastor does. Unfortunately, there are no evil deer Pokemon but Autumn Sawsbuck are the most aggressive of the four seasons.

Angel Dust was a fun one to create. Because he's such a complex character. My first thought was to give him waifu Pokemon from different regions but I didn't want to focus on that aspect of him. Or just give him all spider Pokemon. So I focused on the Pokemon he might surround himself with. His main Pokemon is, obviously, his shiny Lechonk to represent Fat Nuggets. His Ariados plays on the fact that he's a spider but is also a poison type Pokemon. Togepi and Sylveon are both fairy types and Pokemon linked to empathy and feelings. Morelull could be the closest nod to shrooms or other drugs since it's, you know, Pokemon. I gave him a Mawile because it's feminine Pokemon with a scary bite.

Oh, Niffty. The funniest idea would be to give her an all bug team. But that would be mean to the bugs. Her Scyther is her main Pokemon because it's a bug but also has sharp knife hands. So I gave her a Joltik as her one bug Pokemon as a connection to bugs and Alastor. Her Minccino is another Pokemon that evokes the part of Niffty that's the hotel's maid. Mimikyu is just a creepy Pokemon that hides behind a cute look. And I just threw in Tyranitar because Niffty would have an insanely strong Pokemon that's a little crazy.

Yeah, unlike the others, I did give Husk mostly cat Pokemon, but they all fit his personality or the idea behind his character. His main Pokemon is his Meowscarada because it's a magician, just like Husk. Meowth represents the more regal yet greedy Overlord he used to be. His Torracat has very similar colors to Husk with the black and red. His Litwick reminds me of the magical lights Husk put up and were lit with Charlie's magic and his Purrloin represents his deviousness regarding his Overlord days. His Rookiedee represents his wings and chivalry when it comes to some of the characters later in the show and his steel exterior.

Sir Pentious was obviously going to have some snakes on his team but I also wanted to give him some steel types and psychic for his high intelligence and love of engineering. His main Pokemon is his Steelix. It's snake-like but in-your-face snake. He has an Arbok but it's not his main Pokemon. He has Exeggucte to represent the Egg Boiz, but also kind of Togedemaru since it's friend-shaped but spikey. Metang and Golurk represent things that have been created/man-made, which is his thing.

Cherri Bomb was fun because most of her Pokemon know the move Explosion. Her main Pokemon is her Camerupt, which shares her personality. Her Golem and her Electrode are for the whole, you know, bomb thing Cherri's got going on. Her Cherubi and her Hattrem are the more feminine Pokemon on her team but her Hattrem likes to terrorize people just like she does. Her Magnemite has the single eye like she does and also explodes.

Lucifer was really fun because I was originally going to try to give him Pokemon to match the forms that he changes into during the fight with Adam but then rethought the plan. Obviously, he needs to have an Applin for the forbidden apple that will eventually become a Hydrapple. And a Ducklett because of his love for ducks. It was between Ducklett and Psyduck but I thought the cuteness of the small Ducklett just makes me think of Lucifer putting a top hat on it. Lucifer's main Pokemon is actually his Hisuian Zoroark, which is the Baneful Pokemon. I was going to have his main be his Seviper but him being tossed out of Heaven and retreating into isolation and shadows once Lilith left him just fit Hisuian Zoroark. Spiritomb has evil spirits inside it which I think matches Lucifer being in charge of the evils of the world. And Lucario is based of Anubis, who is the guide of the dead to the Underworld.

Thoughts?

[fizziepopangel]

“I’ll shelter and adore you more than anything…”

Touch and words of affirmation are his top love languages. He’s been through a lot that’s really shaken his confidence and his beliefs. Hearing someone actively reassure or compliment him is a huge boost for him, as is feeling something solid and consistent in the form of touch (especially when these come from someone he cares for).

Lucifer absolutely blasts show tunes and sings at the top of his lungs while he’s in the shower.

Flirting goes straight over his head sometimes since people often use the “did it hurt when you fell from heaven” bit on him and it usually results in him trauma dumping and showing them the actual physical scars he has from literally falling from  heaven…. He never understands why people seem to drop out of the conversations after since they did ask him.

He frequently uses the phrase “I knew him personally, so I know that God only lets things grow until they’re perfect. Some people get there sooner than others.” when someone makes fun of his height.

He sleeps in duck footie pajamas that Vaggie gifted him on his first father’s day since he and Charlie began talking again. Though she was embarrassed to give him a gift, he was absolutely over the moon excited since this means that his daughter’s girlfriend likes him.

Unbeknownst to the rest of the inhabitants of the hotel, Lucifer has a rubber duck that resembles them all. He often has to remake Alastors because when he’s upset with him, he tends to take his anger out on the Alastor-themed duck. At least one radio demon duck gets destroyed a week.

Eats candied apples religiously

He only wears the hat to look taller. Alastor knows this and frequently steals his hat and then pokes fun at his height as the king of hell wanders around looking for the accessory.

Lucifer loves animals so once a month he gathers all the pets (this included Razzle and Dazzle prior to Dazzle’s death) of the hotel for a little playdates. He buys them cute little outfits, takes them to pet parks to play, buys them each a new toy, and gets them hell’s version of a pup cup.

Yes, he did try to take Husk once because he does in fact view the man as a giant kitty that he really wants to win over…. And yes, Husk does go once, he regrets it immediately.

Despite them not exactly seeing eye to eye (partially because of the height difference), Lucifer and Alastor both enjoy cooking and get together with snacks to watch their favorite cooking show once a week. It started by accident, but since it became a weekly occurrence, they put aside their differences for the one night to enjoy the show together.

Lucifer bakes muffins and banana bread every weekend. He even teaches Niffty how to do it, she’s a flour covered mess by the end of it and her bread usually comes out rock hard and her muffins rarely rise, but Lucifer actually really enjoys the company and he finds the tiny woman rather amusing to spend time with.

After reconnecting with Charlie, Lucifer made it a point to have father/daughter dates once a month in an attempt to get to know her again. After realizing how big a role Vaggie plays in her life, he would start inviting her out with them too and referring to her as his future daughter in law.

He absolutely hates geese.

Lucifer keeps his wings tucked away for most of the time when they aren’t needed, but he usually sleeps with them unfurled and spread across the bed when it’s warm out, or with them wrapped around himself when he’s cold.

While most people would think that the big boss of hell would be the all business type that drinks his coffee black, he actually prefers a soothing warm tea to coffee when given the option…. But if he has to have coffee, he usually has a cup that tends to be more creamer than coffee and it has to be tooth rottingly sweet.

There’s a cabinet in the Hazbin Hotel kitchen full of mugs. Lucifer has 4 duck themed mugs in that cabinet… there were 6 but Alastor “accidentally” broke two.

Lucifer keeps one of Charlie’s baby photos in the pocket of his jacket, but as their relationship improves, he keeps a newer photo of the two of them together in his pocket with it too.

There’s a cabinet in the Hazbin Hotel kitchen full of mugs. Lucifer has 4 duck themed mugs in that cabinet… there were 6 but Alastor “accidentally” broke two.

Lucifer keeps one of Charlie’s baby photos in the pocket of his jacket, but as their relationship improves, he keeps a newer photo of the two of them together in his pocket with it too.

[sinner-sunflower]

P.2 HH Lucifer-centric AU 2/?

STORY 1, PART 1, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9, PART 10, PART 11, PART 12, PART 13, PART 14, PART 14.5, PART 15, PART 16, PART 17, PART 18, PART 19, PART 20, PART 21

Writing this while listening to Christian songs is my process lajsdlkajkld

You guys need to listen to the soundtrack of Journey to Bethlehem. What bangers and amazing pieces!

-------------------------------------------

Once they got inside, Charlie locks the hotel up using keekee.

Vaggie: You sure that will hold them up?

Charlie: Of course! Besides if any of them try to sneak in then I'm sure Razzle and Keekee will keep them out yes? Yeah? Awww yes you will~

Charlie gushes on her guardians for one more minute before moving close to where her dad was seated on the couch.

Charlie: You okay, dad?

Lucifer: I'm fine, sweetie. Just a little dizzy. I've been using that ability more in thebpast few months than I ever did for 10000 years. It's always draining.

Alastor has disappeared, probably in the kitchen making her dad tea.

Cherri: Not gonna lie. That was kinda hot.

Angel: Yeah. You gotta keep doing whatever that was when you can, short king. Preferably when I'm there to see it. You know, I give full consent for you to do that to me in be-

Charlie: Angel!

Angel: What?

Alastor: Do you never think before you speak, Angel?

Saved by the radio demon. Lucifer smirks as gladly accepts the tea handed to him.

Angel: I'm just here expressing my feelings, Al! And princess, didn't you say that was a redeeming quality.

Vaggie: You are so lucky Lucifer- uh sir- is not killing you on the spot.

Angel: Hehe sorry, handsome. Just a lil fun~

Lucifer chuckles at this. Charlie sure did find some funny individuals.

Lucifer: None taken, Angel. And Vaggie, I told you to stop calling me sir. Lucifer is fine, or if you want.. dad.

Vaggie blushed so so golden that she went to hide in her girlfriend's shoulders in embarrassment.

Vaggie: okay… Lucifer sir.

The King of Hell chuckles in amusement. Well, he'll take what he can get.

Someone clears their throat causing everyone to look at the source.

Lucifer: What is it, Satan?

Satan: As cute as this is, I think we need to discuss what happened earlier.

Lucifer: Can I say anything that will make you guys just drop it?

Various statements from All: Nope. No. Sorry, shorty. Nuh uh. I don't believe so, my dear.

He sighs.

Lucifer: Worth a shot.

When Lucifer doesn't make a move to speak, Charlie kneels before him to hold his hands in hers. There's ringing in his ears.

Charlie: Dad..

Fatherdamnit! Why is he so weak when it comes to his baby girl? He's the Devil for fucks sake and-

And… he's a father first.

Lucifer: It was my brother. Michael.

Everyone's eyes widened in shock except for the Sins. They knew who it was but what they want to know is why.

Angel: Woah woah woah! Like St. Michael the Archangel ?? From the Bible??

Lucifer: Angel, I'm from the Bible.

Angel: Oh yeah.

Charlie: Do you think this is about the last extermination?

Vaggie: But that was already a few months ago. If Heaven had a problem with what happened, I'm pretty sure that we'd hear from them much earlier. Unless..

Husk: It could be cos of the mess in the 7th ring?

Lucifer doesn't answer any of them again. Instead, he looks on to the Heaven shaped planet in the sky.

Asmodeus: Luci… is a war coming?

Lucifer: I can't answer that.

Liar. Why are you lying again? You know why Michael did that. They can help. They will listen!

Alastor: Cannot or won't, my Majesty?

He should've known Alastor will see right through him. Smiling prick.

Lucifer: Does it matter?

The demon's grin doesn't falter.

Alastor: I do not know, my King. Does it?

The faint ringing in his ears is getting louder. He can't ignore it for long.

He stands and dusts himself off.

Lucifer: I don't have time for this. I need to go to Heaven as soon as possible. Preferably right now.

Loud protests echoed in the hotel lobby as soon as he said it.

Alastor: Mon ange, let us not be too hasty.

Satan: Are you fucking kidding me?!

Leviathan: No way.

Mammon: So it is a war???

Ozzie: On your own?!

Bee: What if they kill you?? One of us will go with you.

Belphegor: At least take someone from the Ars Goetia. I'm sure Paimon would gladly give you a strong familiar.

Angel: I make stupid choices so I know this is stupid- ow! The hell, bitch??

Vaggie: Shut up, Angel. But they're right, Lucifer sir. And sorry but what brought this on?

Charlie: Let me come with you atleast.

That's it.

Lucifer: No!

That stopped the talking atleast.

Lucifer: I need to talk to Michael and I'm pretty sure he's not going to come down here. And no, I am not going to take anyone with me. It's too dangerous, Charlie. Don't worry, he's not gonna kill me up there. Just… I promise I'll explain what I can after but right now… I need to go

He can see the Sins about to argue again but he gave them the softest look he can muster and it did the trick because they all clammed up.

Lucifer: Do you trust me?

The look they give him makes him reminiscent the beginning. A time of nothing and all he had was Lilith and the newly born Sins. He sometimes forgets that they were still a lot younger than him and for a long time, he was all they got.

Satan: Of course.

He hopes the smile he gives them is reassuring enough. They melt into his hold as he rans a hand through their faces to cup them.

Lucifer: Good. Take care of my daughter and Hell, okay?

Finally appraoching Charlie and her friends, he draws small pentagrams that embedded themselves unto their skins.

Lucifer: These will act as a ward to anything that poses as a danger to you. Consider it a gift from me.

He locks eyes with Alastor and they form a silent agreement.

His deer takes his hand and bends down to kiss it.

Alastor: With my soul, my love.

Lucifer smiles and suddenly a golden flurry engulfs him, tranforming him back to what he originally looked like before Roo.

When Leviathan gave him a look, he waves in dismissal.

Lucifer: I don't need Michael or Heaven knowing about all this mess. As far as they're concerned, Roo never happened.

He calls upon Keekee, who turned into a key to open a golden portal. Vaggie can see that wherever he opened it, it wasn't the pearly gates of Heaven. It looked like… a room? And since when was Lucifer allowed to open any door in Heaven on his own? This is all suspicious if you ask her. But she bites her tongue.

Before the King could step in, he was grabbed by the arm. He looks back to see his daughter having a tight grip on his wrist.

Lucifer: Char-char?

Charlie: Come back, dad. Okay?

He wishes he just lived a normal life with his beloved little girl.

Lucifer: Promise…. Love you.

-----------------------------

Found the comic with the baby Sins thanks to user @s-arina!

Baby Sins Comic by aogs_47777

[wolfoftheblackflames]

Nyeh! I'm back at it again my fellow Tumblr gremlins! Enjoy some cuteness!

It had finally happened, little white specks fell from Hell's red sky, scattering across the landscape. Alongside this, Hell became slightly colder than its normal sweltering heat. The hotel crew blinked watching this phenomenon.

Charlie pretty much squeed, bouncing up and down like crazy making the others look at her. "Hon you look ready to burst. What is it?" Vaggie asked clearly confused.

"It's an Ashen Storm! It only happens once every decade, so it's very rare. It lasts for about a week, and during that time, people can make cute little ash men and have ash ball fights. Though I wouldn't recommend having your tongue out, it's very dusty and tastes like charcoal." The princess proclaimed quickly, dashing away into a room.

"A week is a long ass time for this shit." Angel Dust commented but looked intrigued by the beautiful landscape.

"I'll admit, it's kinda fuckin pretty." Husk muttered seeing out the window.

Though, once Alastor opened the door since he was curious, all the denizens shivered as the radio demon quickly shut the door. "My word, it's like a million ice packs mashed into the ground!" He narrowed his eyes at the Ashen Storm.

Charlie came back with some warmer clothes for everyone as she grinned. "Yeah, last time I got play in one was when I was small. My dad would make so many ash duckies with his fancy mold." The princess grinned, looking fondly at the ash covered grounds.

Vaggie couldn't help but find the outfit, Charlie had come out in super cute. It was a red sweater with a white stripe in the middle that had an apple like motif going on, and casual black slacks that draped loosely down to her ankles. She then looked down at the clothes Charlie had handed her. It was a soft looking grey and purple stripped sweater that looked like it'd float on her. "Did you know one was coming?"

"Yep." The demoness giggled, handing the other clothes to her friends. Angel Dust got a rather cozy pink sweater that said, "I'm a ho ho hoe." along the chest, making the spider twink smirk a little. Husk got a rather nice black sweater with card symbols running up the sleeves. He actually smiled a little since it was rather cozy. Alastor got a what looked to be a deer themed one where it was mainly red and black, he looked a little thrilled by it. With the last one being Niffty who blinked taking hold of what looked like a cozy little white one with fur decorating the hem, cuffs, and neck.

"Oooo, it's so fluffy and cozy!" She cooed wearing it.

"I like it, thanks toots." Angel chuckled, putting his on. He even noticed it had extra arm holes for his lower arms.

"Yeah it's not half bad." Husk slipped into his as he then fidgted to get his wings through the back slits.

"Thank you, my dear, for thinking of us." Alastor was already wearing his looking rather proud.

Vaggie chuckled wearing hers and looking rather adorable. "Is it me, or did you purposely give me a you sized one?" She playfully smirked at Charlie, who lightly scratched her cheek with a blush. "Maaaaybe." The blonde giggled.

Razzle flew in with his own little sweater that was a simple white with a golden trim. His brother Dazzle was in a black version of it as the two looked pleased. Sir Pentious blinked slithering out with a sweater on as well, his was more of a gear motif which he looked rather pleased with, his little eggs matching him. "Thank you for the sweaters. Your little friends helped my egg boys get dressed." He smiled at the princess, giving her a polite bow.

"I wasn't sure if you were busy or not, Sir Pentious, but I'm glad you liked my gift." Charlie beamed. However, she soon scurried off to the kitchen following Razzle and Dazzle as the two goat boys motioned for her to follow.

What followed up next was everyone having a small get-together, which blossomed into a party. Cherri had come by to bug Angel but blinked when she was offered to join the festivities. "Eh why not. I ain't fuckin goin back through that cold shit. Plus I came to mainly bug Angie." The cyclops woman smirked at Angel who chuckled.

"Well here, you get one too!" Charlie handed Cherri a sweater that was black and white with the words "Bomb-tastic Babe" on it. Seeing how it was cold as fuck out there, Cherri Bomb shrugged and put it on already feeling a lot warmer.

Alastor playfully smirked as Niffty pushed in a piano. "Here you go sir!" She saluted as Alastor nodded. "Thank you my dear." He soon perched on the seat and began to play for the crew.

"Oh Al you didn't have to!" Charlie chuckled but took this chance to dance with her girlfriend.

"Nonsense, you gave me a gift after all. I figured some music would be nice." The radio demon stated as he casually played.

Sir Pentious fidgeted but gulped going over to Cherri. "Um... W-Would you... Do a dance with me?" He asked offering his hand.

"Eh fuck it why not. I'm in a good mood." Cherri humored the snake man.

"Now ain't that cute. Someone's crushin' hard." Angel chuckled but then blinked at the hand that was offered to him. "Come on, you look like you want to as well." Husk stated with a slight smile. Angel blinked but returned the smile and went to go dance with the cat demon.

Niffty was just perched on the piano happily swaying her head listening to Alastor play what seemed to be a fun jingle.

The night continued with more dancing, a lot of tasty food thanks to Niffty and the goat boys, and finally playing some board games since everyone seemed to be in a good mood. Angel smirked, taking an empty bottle. "How about we spice shit up, eh? Does anyone wanna do truth or dare?"

"Hell yeah!" Cherri smirked casually leaning against the couch.

"Eh there ain't nothin I don't know about you folks already, but why not." Husk had a bottle of booze in his hand as he took a swig.

Charlie giggled excitedly. "Just nothing too weird ok Angel? But it does sound fun!" The blonde had Vaggie in her lap as she snuggled into her girlfriend.

Vaggie looked a little skeptical but shrugged. "Eh, fine, but if we don't like the question, we can pass.." The smaller woman replied narrowing her eyes at Angel.

"A game where you do something foolish or tell a secret? Sounds fun!" Alastor had a playful glint in his eyes as he sat on the lone arm chair.

"Ooooo is there gonna be pain involved?!" Niffty grinned with a maniacal giggle.

Angel Dust rolled his eyes but chuckled. "Alright, now since it's my game, here's the rules. Who ever the bottle lands on, the spinner gets to ask for a truth or dare got it?" He explained as he soon smirked. He started the game as bottle soon spun around.

The first victim Angel Dust got was none other than Vaggie. "Ah fuck..."

"Truth or Dare Vagina." He playfully teased, making the smaller woman growl at him. With a stern look, Vaggie answered. "Dare." She challenged as Angel Dust rubbed his four hands together.

"I dare you to do a stripper pole dance." He smirked, knowing Vaggie would refuse. "On this no less." He pointed to one of the pole like columns in the room.

Vaggie flipped him off but reluctantly left Charlie's lap, her competitor streak kicking in. "Alright, try not to get too horny." She smirked and went to the pole.

Husk, Sir Pentious, Angel, and Cherri all had a jaw drop moment once Vaggie started her enticing dance on the pole. The music was provided by a stereo thanks to Razzle and Dazzle. Charlie was beet red with her tail flickering behind her. "Damn princess, ya got yourself a nice find, eh?!" Cherri teased as the dance ended. Charlie was too busy being engrossed by each movement to really form words.

"Interesting, but of course Angel Dust would dare that." Alastor remained unphased since he expected it.

"Wow you're a fuckin natural!" Angel commented surprised but looked over at Charlie and laughed. "Too much so you've got little miss rainbow speechless!"

Vaggie blinked but shyly scratched her cheek only to sit down beside Charlie. "You good, sweetie?" She waved her hand in front of Charlie, who came out of her daze. "Uh huh..." The blonde managed to get out and cleared her throat.

Vaggie got to spun the bottle next. It landed on Cherri. "Dare." The bombardier grinned, wanting a challenge. Vaggie rubbed her chin trying to think of one, but then noticed Sir Pentious watching Cherri and got a devilish smirk. "Kiss Sir Pentious."

"The fuck? That's lame but alright." Cherri easily kissed the snake man on the lips. It made him jolt and blow up with all his eyes becoming swirls. "Wow..." He flopped over being the happiest man in hell right now.

Angel Dust laughed at this. "You cheeky little shit, not bad toots." He smirked, looking at a smug Vaggie.

"My turn!" Cherri spun the bottle.

The night continued with several antics, Alastor kept passing on his turn, Niffty never got one as she pouted, Husk had gotten drunk so getting him to do stupid shit was fun, Vaggie had a small rivalry with Angel going on and it made Charlie just flustered since the spider would get her girlfriend to do some reasonable kinky shit, and Sir Pentious was knocked out due to that Cherri kiss.

Cherri, Angel and Husk continued the game since it was fun to mess with the drunkard while Alastor gleefully watched. Niffty also joined in with messing with Husk but was kept in check by Angel. Vaggie noticed the heat radiating off Charlie and took her girlfriend to the balcony outside to cool off.

"Sorry about that, babe." The smaller woman apologized as she rubbed her neck. "I swear Angel knows which buttons to push.." She added with a grumble.

Finally, not a hot, flustered mess, Charlie smiled softly, looking up at the Ashen Storm. It's particals falling gently onto the ground. "I'm glad you had fun though and that I got to spend this once in a decade chance with everyone." She smiled warmly at Vaggie who remained close since it was getting very cold.

Vaggie looked up at Charlie. The soft lights really brought out those ruby eyes of hers as the taller woman looked back at her. "Hermosa..." Vaggie blushed realizing what she said.

Charlie blinked but then took one of Vaggie's hands and brought it to her lips. "I love it when you talk like that." She smiled, though Vaggie did see a playful yet adoring glint in those eyes. She felt the hairs on her neck stand up, feeling Charlie's warm breath on her neck. "Quiero hacerte el amor toda la noche, querida. ¿Puedo?" (I want to make love to you all night my darling. May I?)

It was Vaggie's turn to become flustered, fuck when did Charlie learn Spanish?! "O-okay.." She couldn't help it as her heart fluttered while pounding so hard against her ribcage.

Charlie smirked and gently scooped up her girlfriend taking her back inside and to their room for the rest of the night.

(Wooooo! I had this scene in my head for awhile. Yes I had the Ashen Storm kinda modeled after a heavy snow storm. I figured why not since I wanted a cute as fuck hotel gang friendship plus some funny yet spicy Chaggie/Starmoth.)

[into-the-hellaverse]

Spoiled

Proofread and co-written with my lovely mutual, @razzle-n-dazzle

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Vox groaned as his monitor vibrated and beeped, sounding off his alarm to get up. He started to sit up, before getting smacked in the face by Valentino, who was still deep in dreamland and had no intention of getting up at the ever-so early hour of 8 AM.

Vox growled, now fully awake. He tossed Val's arm off, sitting up and stretching as he turned off the alarm. He looked to his side, noticing how his boyfriend took up half of his large bed. And that their girlfriend was missing. It was usual for her to be the first one out of bed, so Vox thought nothing was wrong.

When the Vees started their throuple, they developed unspoken rules or agreements, things they would do for each other. One of those things, food. Velvette took care of breakfast, since she was usually an early riser. She was usually up at 4 or 5 in the morning, so why not put together something quick for her boys? Vox would take care of lunch for the three of them, usually just ordering something from a nearby restaurant and having it delivered. He wasn't the best in the kitchen. And, by order of elimination, Valentino would make them dinner. He was fairly skilled and everything he made was good, so they had no complaints.

Vox stretched and yawned loudly as he walked to the kitchen. There was no sound of sizzling bacon, or the smell of fresh pancakes, or the beeping of the Keruig finishing their coffee. It was a little odd. That when he noticed the note written on the whiteboard on the fridge.

Busy schedule. Every demon for themselves. Love you, lazy fuckers.♡♡♡

Velvette

Vox smiled gently, starting the Keruig as he looked for something easy to make for him and Valentino. It didn't happen often, but they were used to the times when one of them had to skip their meal. Sometimes work just got in the way and there wasn't much you could do.

He found a box of pancake/waffle mix and followed the instructions on the back of the box, hoping that he wouldn't find a way to burn them this time. He turned and looked over his shoulder as best as he could when he heard foot steps coming towards the kitchen. A familiar groan and sigh filled the air as Vox felt two pairs of arms wrap around his torso. "Coffeeeeeee..." Valentino whined, pressing his forehead against the back of his monitor.

"Made it fresh," Vox said with a little smile, reaching up and grabbing Valentino's ridiculously large coffee mug.

"Where's Vettie?" Val asked with a yawn, taking his mug and filling it to the brim with black coffee.

"She had a busy schedule. Her note is on the fridge," he said, gesturing over to it as he finished up the last waffle.

"So you decided to burn breakfast?"

Vox glared at him. "One more comment like that and I'm breaking your dick. She'll probably get things sorted out in a couple days."

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One month. Velvette had been busy for one whole month. The longest time any of them had fend for themselves for a meal was two weeks, when Valentino had to work late for some porno he just had to finish. Velvette would leave before Vox or Val had gotten up and come back long after they were in bed. The couple of times they stayed up to wait on her, to try and get some explanation, she worked 50+ hours straight and passed out in her studio. If they tried to visit, all they got was "she's busy and not taking visitors", and her assistants wouldn't take any excuse or threat they gave. If they texted her, she would ignore it for hours and only give a response like "srry I was bsuy" and not give any other explanation. It was started to get really fucking sick. And they missed her cooking. You can only have so many almost-burnt waffles and half-cooked pancakes before you will willingly starve yourself until lunch.

Today at lunch, Vox ordered from Velvette's favorite restaurant and brought the food up to her studio. He ignored the interns trying to sheepishly explain why he couldn't go in, and he just barged in through the doors.

The studio looked terrible. It was like a hurricane came through and wrecked the place. Clothes, fabric, and various accessories laid strewn across the floor, and every surface was covered in similar messes. And the only sound echoing throughout was Velvette screaming some jumbled mess at her underlings.

Vox could finally see how badly this past month had affected her. Velvette always put thought and effort into her appearance. She wanted to keep up with the trends and look fabulous. But this look... It was disgusting, to say the least. Her red hair was thrown up into a messy bun. Not an aesthetically pleasing messy bun, an actual messy bun. Her hair was unwashed and unbrushed, just thrown up into a ball on top of her head and held together with a couple of hair ties. Hair was falling out of the "bun" and falling on her face, making her look almost deranged.

Vox got a better look at her face as she whipped around to yell at someone else. She wasn't wearing any makeup, which never happened with Velvette. Without any makeup, you could finally see all the stress on her face, the bags under her eyes from the lack of sleep, and what looked like the start of crows feet.

Her outfit looked so out of style, as well. She would put thought and dedication into each outfit she wore, making sure to stay up on the latest trends and wearing what was in style. But this? It was like she just grabbed a random outfit and changed as she was walking to her studio. And Vox was about 50% sure that her clothes were on backwards. Velvette looked like a mess. Vox knew he had to do somethi-

"WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK DO YOU WANT?!" Velvette screamed, finally noticing his presence. "GET THE FUCK OUT!!!"

"Yes ma'am." Vox put the food on the nearest table and practically ran out of the studio. As he walked back to his control room with a heavy sigh, he called Valentino.

"Hello, my darling~" Val said, making no big deal of throwing in the background. "How was our little princesa?~"

"Terrible, to put it bluntly," Vox said. "We seriously need to get her home tonight."

"Understood. Are we-"

"We're gonna have to. Cut your shoot early."

"Yes, sir~"

"Now is not the time, Val! Just cut the shoot and meet me outside in ten minutes."

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"Are you sure you don't want me to start cooking yet?" Valentino asked. Him and Vox had spent the whole afternoon shopping around, getting wine and ingredients and various gifts for Velvette to have a relaxing night in.

"Yeah. You'll have enough time when she gets back," Vox said as he paced by the bar. "She'll probably come storming in and rant for a while, at least 15 minutes but definitely close to 30. And then she's gonna take a shower-"

"And that will take close to an hour because she needs to clean at least a week of dirt and grime off her body," Valentino cut in, heading over to the bar.

"Yeah, probably closer to a month of dirt. I swear, she looked like walking shit...." Vox commented. "I can't imagine how stressful this month has been for her... Don't touch that!" Vox smacked Val's hand away from the full decanter of wine. "All of that is for Velvette. She's gonna need it. Get your own bottle."

Val rolled his eyes and grabbed another bottle. "You know she's going to drink half of it and throw it at the wall."

"And you know that she learned that maneuver from you," Vox said accusingly. "Just head into the kitchen when you hear a slamming door and work your magic, ok? This is for Velvette."

"I know, I know." Valentino sighed and chugged his glass, pouring a glass for Vox as well. "She's never pushed herself this hard. I just wish we knew what was going on..."

Vox took the glass and kissed Valentino's hand, gently rubbing his thumb over his knuckles. "We'll figure out tonight. It's gonna be ok..."

Valentino gave him a gentle smile, staring lovingly into his eyes. "You always know what to say..."

"That's why I'm the forefront of the fastest growing tech company in the city, possibly all of hell," Vox said cockily, taking sip while Val let out a laugh. He was about to let out another smart quip, when the front door slammed open and a certain someone stormed in.

"HOLY FUCKING HELL, I AM GOING TO KILL SOMEONE!!!" Velvette yelled, storming into the living room. Valentino turned tail and went to the kitchen as quick as possible, while Vox started pouring one of many glasses of wine for Velvette.

Velvette snatched the glass out of Vox's hand and drank it all before throwing the glass at the wall, just like Valentino said she would. She pulled at her hair and screamed at the top of her lungs while Vox poured another glass.

"Bad day?" He asked simply.

"Bad day?!" Velvette said with a murderous grin. "BAD DAY?! IT'S BEEN A BAD MONTH!" And off she went, yelling and screaming about everything that went wrong. Incompetent staff, late shipments, and worst of all, Claire. Fucking Claire. She was the worst model Velvette had. She was more demanding than Velvette herself, somehow! She had gotten the job because she was friends with another overlord, some hoity-toity bitch ass from a club in the entertainment district. Sophia or Sarah or whatever the fuck her name was.

"Anytime I try to fire her, she runs to that stupid little club with her stupid little friend and they come parading in the next day, demanding I put her in the next fucking show or on the cover of the next fucking catalog," Velvette said, finally slamming the wine glass on the bar rather than throwing it against a hard surface. Vox simply took the glass and refilled for her to pick up the next time she passed.

"And you know what?! There may not be another fucking catalog because that bastard Geoffrey CAN'T SEND A SIMPLE FABRIC SHIPMENT TO SAVE HIS SOUL!!!!!!" Velvette yelled, chugging the glass again. She stood in the living room, surrounded by little piles of glass while she panted. She finally looked at Vox, copying his blank stare. "Well?"

Vox was silent for a moment, trying to pick something to comment on. "Claire sounds like a bitch."

"Trust me, she is a nightmare." She approached the car and sat down, sighing and laying her head down on the counter. "I swear you would think it's Lucifer himself in disguise. I would think so too if I didn't know he staying at that...Hackshot Hostel with his daughter or whatever..."

"Hazbin Hotel," Vox said, pouring another glass for her.

Velvette shot her head up and glared at him. "Don't correct me."

"Yes ma'am."

Velvette gave another heavy sigh and took a little sip from the glass this time. "I'm just so tired..."

"I know, Vettie. Why don't you get cleaned up?" Vox said gently. "We got you some of that sugar scrub you like to use, and your favorite face cream." He went around the bar and helped her up, guiding her around the piles of glass to the bathroom.

"The one with the charcoal and brimstone mix?" Velvette asked with a smile.

"Mhm. And when you get done pampering yourself, I'll help you tame that rat's nest your hair has become."

Velvette covered her mouth and giggled. "Honestly, it's not that bad. It's certainly better than that hair catastrophe of '06."

"All I remember was you became a sobbing mess because you were going to have to shave your head," Vox commented. He stopped outside the bathroom and gave her a little push in. "Get yourself cleaned up, honey. Val should finish dinner soon after you get out."

Velvette smiled brighter. "Santa Fe Chicken with seasoned rice-"

"And garlic seared potatoes, yes," Vox finished for her. He smiled, watching her cheer to herself before shutting the door. He went back to the living room, watching as Val swept up the glass piles.

"I was gonna get them, Val," Vox said, taking the broom for him to finish sweeping up.

"I know," Val said. "I'm still waiting for that damn chicken to thaw, so I wanted to help. How's Vels?"

"She's doing better. She definitely needed to rant to someone." Vox took the dust pan, sweeping up the last couple of piles and throwing it all away. "She's in the shower now, if you wanna check on her."

"I won't interrupt her. She probably needs some along time." Val stood there, starting to stare into space while silence filled the room.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Vox asked, going back behind the bar to make them both a drink.

"How easy do you think it would be to get Claire to sell her soul to me?" Val asked, looking over at him.

Vox let out a laugh, pouring some alchohol and mixers into a shaker. "It won't be easy. If she's friends with Sophia, then she might have already made a deal or something. But...she could be accidentally caught in the crossfire of a turf war. Or accidentally get pushed off the roof."

"Or accidentally get shot 20 times," Valentino growled.

"Now, now, we can't shoot her. That's too obvious," Vox chastised, shaking up the drink and pouring it in one of the few glasses they had left. "Drink that and go back to the kitchen."

Val sighed gently and kissed his monitor, taking the glass and walking back to the kitchen.

And now, Vox was alone. He sighed as a comfortable silence filled the air. He searched the rows of bottles for something to drink, and pulled down a clear rectangular glass bottle, a little shorter and wider than most, that seemed to be delicately crafted; With smoothed out rigids and designs that capsulated the bottle. It smoothed out by the top and closed in to create a vase-like-opening, and sitting on top was the lid, square and designed to match the bottle. Vox smiled to himself and poured himself some of the amber liquor.

Velvette had gotten it for him a few years ago, when they first got together. She wasn't the best with words at the time, so she often expressed her love or gratitude with gifts. She said it was an "infinity bottle", and you would "sacrifice" the last two or three drinks of every bottle of whiskey or bourbon or whatever you drank, and you pour it into the bottle. Over time as you slowly fill the bottle with these "sacrificed" drinks, it would develop a unique flavor profile, built by memories and nights of drunken laughter.

Vox drank the small glass, and he couldn't help the smile that slowly appeared. He put the bottle back on the shelf and started to clean up to keep himself busy. He tidied up the bar area (and made a mental note to order more glasses), swept up any remnant pieces of glass, and cleaned up a few tiny messes in the living room. He got Val to help him move the coffee table as well before gathering up Velvette's hair care products and setting them on the side table in the living room. When there was nothing else for him to do, he finally got changed into some pajamas and sat on the couch, waiting for Velvette to come out.

Soft footsteps sounded through the living room, causing Vox to look over his shoulder. He smiled, seeing Velvette wrapped up in the new silk pajama set they had gotten her. It was a solid lavender color, with dark purple pentagrams sprinkled throughout. She wrapped herself up in the matching silk robe, with a black bonnet in hand and her hair in a towel wrap.

Velvette gave him a gentle smile. "You really went all out, didn't you?"

"Of course. You've worked so hard," Vox explained. "You deserve to be pampered, Vettie."

Velvette walked around the couch, plopping down on a pillow on the floor in front of Vox. "I think you two spoil me more than pamper me."

"Vettie, we don't spoil you enough." He took the towel off her hair, letting the tangled mess fall free of its cotton confines. He grabbed the paddle brush and some detangling spray, starting on a small section of the mess while Velvette searched the channels for something mildly interesting. She became enamored with some fashion competition, leaving her quiet and compliant while Vox slowly worked his way through the tangles.

After what felt like an eternity, Vox was finally able to pull the brush through her hair without snagging on a knot, and Velvette was criticizing the outfits the models were wearing. Well, she was criticizing the models more than their outfits.

"Blimp, elephant, fatass, skinny-ass, no ass, and.... Well, she just looks fugly," Velvette commented, drying some of the product out of her hair.

"Nah, she looks hot!" Valentino said as he brought in a couple plates of food.

"Hey! You should only have eyes for me, limp dick!" Velvette chastised. "She's not even that cute! Roadkill looks cuter than her!"

"She's hot because she looks like you," Val said with a smirk.

"Oh. Well, I guess I do see some resemblance," she said with a little blush.

Vox just laughed, helping Velvette get her hair in the silk bonnet. "But no demon in hell compares to you, my love."

"I know! You boys are fucking lucky you bagged me before some Sin did!" Velvette stood up and took her plate from Val, simply smirking at their laughter.

"Really? You think you're good enough for a Sin?"

"I'm good enough for Lucifer himself!" Velvette sat on the couch and got comfy, while Vox and Val cackled with laughter.

"Glad to have you back to your old self, Vettie," Val said as he calmed down.

"Well, when I get spoiled, I act spoiled." She smiled and leaned forward, giving Vox a kiss on his monitor. "Thank you. Seriously."

"It's no big deal, Vels. You deserve it."

"I cooked. Don't I get something?" Val complained.

Velvette rolled her eyes. "I'll suck your dick later."

"YES!"

And with that, they fell into a comfortable silence. Velvette made an occasional comment about some terrible tailoring, and the boys would agree, but not much else was said for the next few hours. After they ate, Val slowly migrated to the couch, sitting between his lovers and pulling them close. Velvette nuzzled up to his chest, and Vox did his best to lean his head on Val's shoulder. Having a tv head did make some problems when it came to cuddling.

Vox felt himself slowly falling in and out of sleep, hours passing in what felt like minutes. Late in the night, Val gently shook him awake and pointed to the girlfriend. The boys smiled, watching her mumbled about shoulder puffs and cravats in her sleep.

"Do you want her arms or legs?" Vox asked softly as he stood up.

"I'll take the arms this time." Val wrapped his arms around her torso and pulled her up. Vox grabbed her ankles and they carried her to the bedroom, gently placing her in her rightful spot in the middle of the bed.

Vox laid beside her, holding her close as his monitor darkened. Val joined soon after, throwing two of his four arms over them like he was trying to protect them, or trap them in the bed. It was probably him trapping them in bed.

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Vox groaned as his monitor vibrated and beeped, sounding off his alarm to get up. He held up a hand, catching Valentino's arm that was about to smack his monitor. He shoved the arm away and sat up, turning off his alarm as he yawned and stretched.

Vox looked beside him, noticing the absence of their girlfriend from the large bed once again. His heart sank slightly. Did Velvette run out again? He quickly got out of bed and practically ran to the kitchen. A smile came to his face when he saw Velvette at the stove, still in her pajamas as she made breakfast.

"Are you gonna keep standing there or are you gonna say hello?" Velvette said, breaking the silence.

"Just taking in this rare and beautiful sight," Vox said. He hugged her from behind and kissed the top of her head. "Morning, darling..."

"Good morning, my love." Velvette patted the side of his monitor. "I do have to head in to the studio, but it's just for a few hours. I'll be done by lunch and then I'm all yours."

"Good. You need a whole week off after that whole shit show," Vox pulled away, grabbing some mugs to make each of their coffees.

"Agreed," Velvette said with a sigh. "I just hope I can take care of Claire once and for all..."

"Oh, don't worry about it, Vettie. Me and Val have it handled," Vox said with an evil smirk.

Velvette turned and smiled at him. "I swear, you boys spoil me..."

[goldenamaranthe-blog]

Who Dares Summon Me: Human Vaggie & Charlie

Vaggie: (sitting in the living room of a piece of shit apartment and reading from a "demon summoning" book. the sound of gunfire and police sirens barely even registers to her ears anymore)

Vaggie: Okay, so I got the Pentagram, a goat (glances at two goat plushies she stole from a name brand toy store) Fuckers will live..... they make millions in a day.

Vaggie: Candles... (glances at the Bath & Body Works, cinnamon and vanilla scented candles)

Vaggie: And... blood.... uh.... (Looks at the bucket filled with water, corn syrup, red food coloring, and cocoa powder to help create a blood effect) Fuck... demons can tell the difference between real and fake blood, right? Dammit.

Vaggie: (cuts her finger with her pocket knife and lets] a few drops fall into the bucket) There. That should work. Now, let's see-

Lute: (comes out of her room half naked and throws a pair of panties at Vaggie) Yo, Vagina! Adam stole your underwear again as a prank, I guess. Here.

Vaggie: (gawks as she catches the garment and spikes it to the floor) Lute! What the fuck?! Can't you control your fucking boyfriend??? How did he even get into my room?! I keep it locked for that reason.

Lute: (grabs a beer out of the fridge, pops the cap off on the counter, starts chugging, and flips off Vaggie as she returns to her room for whatever round she and Adam are on)

Vaggie: Sick perverted sons of bitches... (turns back to the book) Read the forbidden script and make a pact. (Scoffs) Okay, edge lords. I'll give it a go.

Vaggie: (recites the script with some difficulty)

..........

Vaggie: (relaxes her back against the couch) Can't say I'm surprised. I literally bought this online for six-

-Fire tornado erupts from the Pentagram and burning red eyes stare down at Vaggie from the inferno-

Demon Charlie: WHO dares summon the powerful Princess of Hell- Oh, fuck!!! (Trips over the bucket and falls face first into Vaggie's lap, revealing that she is wearing a red dress with black thigh high stockings)

Vaggie: Jesus Fucking Christ!!!

Demon Charlie: (face still pressed against Vaggie's crotch) You have a very comfortable lap.

Vaggie: (grabs demon's horns and pulls her up so they're sitting in front of each other) You're actually a demon?

Demon Charlie: (blinks) Considering the fact that you're still holding my horns, I have this adorable little tail (waves her heart-shaped tail in hello), and I came straight up from Hell because of your summoning circle. Yup! (Sees the plushies and gasps) Oh! You even gave Razzle and Dazzle their own conduits! You're so sweet!

Vaggie: ...........Who?

Demon Charlie: Razzle and Dazzle! You know. My pets. It's written in chatper six, paragraph five, sentence three. (Snaps her fingers and the two goat plushies turn into two living goat demons with wings)

Vaggie: (scouring the book) What?!

Demon Charlie: (snuggling her boys) Also, I know you had to use a little of your own blood to make this work, which I promise to help heal that cut on your finger by the way, but Thank You So Much for just using fake blood! I always feel so bad when people actually use a bucket of real blood. I usually let my dad take those summonings.

Vaggie: (glances at the bucket rolling across the floor then back to the demon) Y-Youre dad?

Demon Charlie: Lucifer, the King of Hell. (Light bulb goes off) Oh! I never completed my introduction! I'm Charlie Morningstar, Princess of Hell and heir to the throne. Pleased to meet you!

Vaggie: Uh.... Vaggie.... I never would have expected the Princess of Hell to be so..... bubbly....

Demon Charlie: I get that a lot. Now! What can I do for you? How can I help? Do you need money? Power? A soul you'd like for me to devour?

Vaggie: N-No... nothing quite like that....

Demon Charlie: Oh, thank Satan! I hate eating souls. Most of them taste so bad!

Vaggie: Uh-huh.... Well.... I don't really have anything for you. I got bored and decided I'd try this out...

Demon Charlie: (disappointed) Really? But you sold me your virginity. Surely, there's something you want in exchange!

Vaggie: I'm sorry. WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?

Demon Charlie: Drop of virgin blood and (holds up Vaggies lavender panties) an article of clothing that covers your most intimate desire.

Vaggie: (silently screaming)

Demon Charlie: H-Hey! If it makes you feel any better, I'm still a virgin, too! (Under her breath) Not from lack of trying on other asshole's accunts, but still....

Vaggie: Ay, Dios mio!

Demon Charlie: Well, I can't take your payment until you come up with something you want, soooooooo! (Transforms into a human)

Charlie: (snuggles up to Vaggie's side) I'll just have to stay here with you until you come up with something!

Vaggie: (catatonic)

[gale-dragon-writer]

Guardian Zestial Pt 1

Something that has somewhat been living rent-free in my brain for a while.

}I{

When Charlie was an itty-bitty little babe, Lucifer started worrying about his precious little girl getting in trouble. Since Razzle and Dazzle aren't in existence yet (idk how old these two are or when Charlie got them as her servants/bodyguards), the King of Hell started looking for a suitable bodyguard that could double as a caretaker. The tricky bit was looking for someone who wouldn't try to use Charlie as leverage because this was Hell.

Therefore, Lucifer made a very detailed list of criteria that he wanted for this Protector for his precious little girl. Someone strong enough to protect Charlie from any type of threat within Hell, wouldn't use Charlie as leverage to get to Lucifer, wouldn't harm Charlie in "Any" way, could care for a child, smart enough to be a tutor if needed, and most importantly, someone Lucifer could genuinely trust.

Simple list, but given that this was Hell, that was a tall order. So Lucifer created little "Speye Ducks" to search the entire Pride Ring for his precious daughter's perfect protector.

Thankfully, none of the denizens of the Pride Ring noticed the Speye Ducks; if they did, they either didn't care about them or thought they weren't worth their time.

It takes a year or two for Lucifer to find some potential guardians for his precious little daughter. A handful of Sinners and a few members of the Goieta. The biggest issue was whether or not he could trust any of these potential guardians. Therefore, Lucifer created a plan to test these potential guardians. An easy test of trust on paper, but easy to fail.

Lucifer summons these people (separately) and gives them a sealed envelope, telling them that he needs them to deliver this secret letter to a potential grand commander for the army he's planning on making. Lucifer makes it a point to tell them he trusts them with this valuable information and not look at it. He sends them off after he tells them where this "commander" is. Once he gives all the potential Guardians the test, he teleports himself to said location and waits.

All but one failed the test. Zestial.

He is the only one to take a moment to weigh his options regarding this 'information', considering the pros and cons of looking at the 'information' and following Lucifer's orders. Seeing that it would be more beneficial to have the Ruler of Hell's trust in his corner over a glimpse at something that would possibly become public once the 'army' was established, Zestial proceeded to deliver the envelope to its destination without opening it.

Zestial is understandably surprised and confused when he arrives at the location and finds Lucifer there.

Lucifer congratulates the Overlord on passing his little trust test and then proceeds to tell Zesital why he did this and why. Ofc, Zesital is confused by all this.

Lucifer goes into more detail on his desire to have a perfect guardian for his precious daughter and why. He explains how Zestial fits the criteria he's looking for and wants him to be that guardian, and ofc Lucifer isn't asking Zestial to do this for free.

So they talk for a while to iron out this little Deal. For the care and protection of Charlette "Charlie" Morningstar (plus the possibility of being a teacher to her), Zestial will earn Lucifer's backing as an Overlord, given protected areas during the Extermination in his territories for the souls that he owns (not the entire territory because that will be too obvious to others in Hell and the Exorcists, but scattered across it in easy to access areas), and the access to the Morningstar Mansion to him and anyone he holds close to his heart. Ofc, Lusicer makes sure to put in the contract that Zestial couldn't use any personal information he gains while at the Morningstar Mansion or while caring for Charlie. Both beings keep their souls.

After solidifying the contract for the Deal, both Lucifer and Zestial agree to it and seal it.

It doesn't take too long before Zestial becomes attached to the cheery little toddler while in his care. While bitty Charlie didn't enjoy the screams of the denizens of Hell, she seemed to enjoy the teas that Zestial brought. The little tot was more interested in the sweeter teas than the bitter ones.

It doesn't take long before Zestial brings little Charlie (maybe when she's 6-7ish) over to the Carmine Family for a get-together. Odette and Clara were overjoyed by the fact that they could be big sister figures to Little Charlie. Carmilla is understandably confused by this, at least until Zestial confides to her about his little charge while the children are playing. Ofc, Carmilla gives him a 'what are you thinking?' talk. Zestial understands his friend's concerns and explains why he accepted the Deal, adding that he asked for Lucifer to also place a Safe Zone in the Carmine Residence and that little Charlie might as well be his little goddaughter. Carmilla couldn't help but agree that the youngest of the Morningstars was easy to love and was willing to look after the youngling in case Zestial was busy, somewhat adding that her daughters would be willing to look after her too. (Family Bonding!!)

Over the years, Zestial learned more about the Morningstars as well as somewhat became part of the family.

But the more subtle yet information Zestial gained came specifically during and after the Extermination. He saw how much the Morningstars loathed that day. Charlie was more obvious about that since she was still pretty young and didn't understand what was going on. Lilith seemed to get irritable. And Lucifer was... Complicated... He seemed to have this strange combination of anger and sadness when this day came around... Zestial watched these moments from the shadows for years, unsure how to broach the subject.

Until one year when the Exorcist decided to have the Extermination a week early when Zestial was out and about with the Carmine Family and little Charlie for an afternoon stroll in a bizarre to get some supplies for said event. The attack was sudden and there was no real time to take cover for anyone. However, Zestial was quick to act and used his powers to grab the Carmines and little Charlie and then teleport them all into the Morningstar Mansion with only seconds to spar.

Ofc, Lucifer is confused by their sudden presence and asks what was going on. When he's told about the early Extermination, Lucifer goes through several different emotions in a matter of seconds. Sock, disbelief, worry, relief, anger, and resentment in that order. Little Charlie rushed into her father's arms in tears, still terrified over the whole ordeal.

That was when Odette and Clara shouted at Lucifer, asking him why the hell he allowed the Exorcist to do the Extermination every year before Zestial and Carmilla could stop them.

Lucifer quickly snaps back in anger, "You really think I want this shit to happen!?" The ruler of hell then says in anger, "But does Heaven listen when I suggest any alternative solutions?! NO!! They don't give a crap!!" Lucifer hugs his confused daughter closer when he says softly, "All I was able to do was make sure they leave the Hellborns alone..."

The Carmine Family and Zestial... Did not know how to respond to this... Reveal... But due to Lucifer and Zestial's deal, this information stays between them. Never to be told to anyone outside the Morningstar home...

A few years go by, little Charlie starts spending a little more time outside the Morningstar mansion. But most of that time was either with Zestial or the Carmine Family, learning a lot of useful skills. Charlie learned about conjuring magic from Zesital while she learned combat and weaponry from the Carmines. It didn't take too long before she could handle any type of threat on her own, mostly. Charlie was still an oddly kind-hearted soul for a hellborn and princess of hell. Zestial usually takes care of the would-be assassins behind Charlie's back by using fear tactics.

To be continued in pt 2.