#glad the brain worms helped

[dove-da-birb]

i swear the siren mozart thing and the pirate captain yves thing are the first concepts to giev me writing motivation this month GAHHH i feel like im slowly transitioning into an ikemen blog and i dont know how to FEEL

Here's the great thing though, it's your blog and you get to write what you want!

Your blog can be a collaboration of ALL your interests.

Inspiration comes in many different forms, but as long as you have fun that's all that matters.

For Mozart, I'm feeling a mixture of the original sirens from Greek myth (bird wings and feathers) but also the more recent of just mermaids being sirens in general. Like barn owl wings and opalescent scales.

For Naval/Pirate Captain Yves all I'm imagining is pastel Rococo-inspired naval uniform. Less ideas with him though.

We are just bards, spinning our tales with verses. Inspiration comes in many different forms, but we should accept the muse in whatever form they may come in.

[nerice]

me: yeah im ok with having slashed the faye/raiu content in the main book also me: trying to keep normal brain function while rewatching the mkm/dnj mind control snail feed scene for the 500th time in the op

[gglitch1dd]

How woulda Izuku react to his wife coming home from being out with Mina, Denki, and Yaomomo and she’s drunk? He would he take care of her? I’m sorry I js love when ppl take care of their partners 😭😭🙏🏾

(Sorry to answer so late Anon)

Mister Tree

Husband Midoriya Izuku x Wifey Reader

Warning: Effects of alcohol, YN being thirsty for her man.

He would take such sweet care of her. He finds it more funny than anything because he knows that you probably didn't want to drink that much initially but one drink turned into five and suddenly he's helping you out of Momo's car.

"I'm so sorry, Izuku." Momo bowed as Izuku shuffled to hold you in his arms, carrying you bridal style. "I tried to slow them down but then Denki made a bet and then Mina was on it and then-"

Izuku chuckled. "It's alright, Momo. Really. I'm glad she-"

"WEEEEEEEE!" You threw your hands out as you wiggled your legs in his arms at being off the ground.

Momo looked at you surprised but Izuku just laughed. "I'm glad she enjoyed herself. Thank you for getting her here safely."

"It's no problem at all. I'll see you soon." She waved her hand as she entered back into her car.

Izuku carried you towards the open door of your home, watching as you nodded your head side to side. He kicked off his outside shoes and put back on his slippers as he closed the door behind him.

He then noticed that you were struggling against him with a frown on your face. You pathetically tried to fight against him, pushing at his face as you let out huffs. "Don't touch me, Mister Tree! I have a husband!" You shouted at him as you wiggled in his arms like a worm.

He paused before chuckling at your antics. He found it endearing that despite being drunk out of your mind, you still were faithful to him. He carried you towards the stairs. "I know."

You gasped. "Men." You scowled, shaking your head. "So disgusting and shameless. My husband... He's going to mess you up, mister Tree." You said with a glare on your face. "He's gonna super Dutroit smash your face in."

"Oh really?" He asked with a raised eyebrow as he carried you up the stairs.

You nodded your head with a proud huff as you folded your arms over your chest. "He's super strong! He's a prohero! The Number One one..." You paused at your sentence structure, taking a moment to realise your redundancy before your face split into a grin and you started giggling to yourself.

Izuku tried to stop his own laughter from bubbling out as he carefully moved to set you down onto your shared bed. He took off your shoes and socks and moved to your closet to grab your pyjamas. You were still giggling to yourself like it was the funniest thing ever.

"Sorry about this sweetheart but I've got to change you." He warned you before hand as he moved to grab at your shirt and pull it over your head.

You gasped as you wrapped your arms around you and tried to scramble off the bed. "HUBBY HELLP! THIS STRANGE GREEN TREE IS TRYING TO UNDRESS ME!" You shouted as you squirmed in bed. Izuku had to hold onto you and try to keep a good grip on you. "I mean he's kind of hot BUT I'M NOT INTO TREES LIKE THAT!"

"Y/N!" He shouted trying to get your attention. You paused as you looked at him. He looked down at you before giving you a gentle smile. "I'm your husband." He told you as he showed you the wedding band you got him on your wedding day. He wiggled his ring finger and smiled. "It's me." He told you as he carefully took your small hands into his large rough ones. He kissed your hands and put your hands to his heart. "Izuku."

You paused as you stared at him for a moment. Recognition clicked in your brain as you saw him. Then your face morphed into a smirk as you looked up at him with a giggle. "Boy, you fine as hell."

A pink blush bloomed on his face as he laughed. "Thank you. Now can I please undress you?" He asked.

You wiggled your eyebrows as you lay back, not even trying to fight. "Oh you can do more than undress me." You let out slyly. Izuku only burned redder as he moved to take off your shirt and your bra. "How do you want me, big boy? I'm alright with anything? Matter fact, sir, I can spread my folds for you and-"

"Y/N please!" Your husband laughed as he tried to focus on purely undressing you and getting you into your soft pyjamas. "I'm not going to have sex with you tonight."

You paused. Then a frown came to your face. "You don't want me?" You asked sadly. "It's the nose isn't it?"

"I love your nose, Y/N." He informed you simply as he moved to finally slip you into your pyjamas. He smiled as he cupped your face and kissed your nose. "But you're drunk. You aren't in a right state of mind. How about we put a rain check on that okay?" Izuku left you to go put your clothes in the hamper and grab some water. Suddenly when he came back you were crying.

"You're so sweet!" You whined. "And so hot!"

Izuku shook his head as he came over to sit at the side of your bed and snuggle you in. He gave you some water to drink before making sure you were comfortable.

"Izu..."

"Hm?"

You looked up at him with a tired expression. "You're a very sexy tree." You stated.

"Okay, thank you Y/N. But can you please go to sleep." He said laughing.

"You're so sexy, I swear you could lay down your wood on me, anytime."

"Y/N-"

"Rub your bark on me, baby."

"Y/N PLEASE! Please just sleep."

-Glitch1d

[Midoriya Izuku Masterlist]

[gale-force-storm]

He refuses to fall for the first person to show him kindness. He may be feeling sorry for himself, but that's a bridge too far.

Even if they are beautiful. And kind to everyone, not just him. And brave. And clever. And strong. And they love animals, and reading. And they have a wry sense of humour that he adores.

He won't. He can't. Besides all else, this is decidedly not the time. A bomb in his chest and a worm in his head and a weight on his shoulders and a shame in his stomach and a shattered heart he's still trying to gather the pieces of. Desperately clinging to the cloak of his past, wrapping himself in his former confidence, pretending it hasn't been worn threadbare with time in isolation and eaten ragged by the moths of doubt and fear and past mistakes.

He fell from grace so far so fast, but he cannot beg affection off the first hand to offer him help up, even if it is the first time he's touched another person in months. Even if that hand did send a sudden warmth through him and feel so right in his own he could almost cry from it.

...This is getting out of hand.

He can just be friendly with them, surely. How does one make friends, again? Shared interests? He mostly just has the one, so he'll share what he can. They pick it up quickly, and the warm magic that surrounds them is a balm on his soul. Right up until they imagine kissing him, and his heart skips a beat. It can't be. It can't be. They can't want him back. It's not possible. And how, after it all, after everything, is he meant to resist the overwhelming temptation of being wanted?

They don't let up, either. Lingering glances. Warm smiles. All but propositioning him at the tiefling party. If there is a single positive thing to be said about his year of orb-imposed abstinence, it's that the willpower he had to build up and the practice denying himself were the only things that enabled him to decline their advances.

Well, that and the risk of blowing up the both of them, along with everyone else in or near the camp.

The warm smiles and lingering gazes and casual touches still continue, though.

This is fine. He's fine. He can't remember the last time he felt like this, someone cared for him like this, and he can't do a damn thing about it, but he's fine. Everything is fine. As fine as it can be, anyways, given everything else about the situation.

He supposes he should probably be more upset about Mystra's orders. At this point, though, it's hard to feel like it's anything besides a way out. A relief that he can be good for something. One more miserable experience, and then he's done with it, and all their problems are solved. There are worse things.

Except.

They're so angry about it. Everyone is, but them especially. Arguing with both him and Elminster the entire time, insisting there's another option. That they'll find or make one. Whatever they have to do to keep him around.

Gods help him, but he does want to stay with them. Stay for them.

He sleeps that night, and awakens with a jolt, a groan, and a realization. He's glad that prestidigitation exists to clean himself up without leaving his tent and risking the others' notice. His body had, apparently, caught up with certain implications before his brain. Though from what snippets of his dream he remembers, maybe it was only his waking mind that had been lagging behind.

He wants them, and he can finally have them. Can give them as much of himself as he's able, in the time he has left.

He had refused, at first, the idea of falling for the first person to show him kindness. And he hasn't. He's fallen for someone who is so much more that that. And he will not, cannot, die without letting them know. If he has to leave them, and he fears he will, then he will not leave them feeling unappreciated, or uncherished, or unloved. Not when he can finally embrace the full depth and breadth of what he feels for them. Has felt for them for what can't have been more than a tenday or two, but feels like a lifetime and a moment all at once.

He will not leave without showing them the full scope of his admiration and appreciation and sheer joy at their presence. The full scope of how impossibly deeply he already loves them. Not while he has any say in it.

[oh-stars]

Recognition

Love is showing up when someone doesn’t ask.

a @steddielovemonth prompt | 1257 words | CW: N/A | Rating: G

“What time will you be home?” Eddie asks, perched on the couch like a bird, elbows on his  knees and sitting on his heels, toes straining under his weight. He feels like a little gremlin, body needing a way to expel all the energy his boring day off built up while Steve’s been at work. 

Steve sighs and adjusts his tie in the mirror by the door. “If all goes well, eight?” 

Eddie groans and falls back, limbs flailing. “If they expect you to go to school after hours, they should at least pay you,” he says, face squished into the fabric. It’s miserable being on different schedules. He’s been working at the plant until the construction is done on his shop, which means weird hours and being completely off rhythm with Steve. He barely sees the man! 

“Tell me something I don’t know,” Steve huffs as he smooths down his shirt, walking towards him. He carefully bends over to kiss Eddie’s pouting lips, laughing at him. God, Eddie’s so glad this man is his. He’s too precious to let go. “I’d stay if I could,” Steve says softly. “You know I hate going to these things.” 

Eddie sighs, giving him a small smile as he touches up the few strands of Steve’s hair that were betrayed by his hairspray. “I know,” he says. “I could always come with you.” 

Steve shakes his head, cheeks pink. “Thank you, but you, uh, really don’t want to go to a boring PTA meeting. All they’re going to do is fight over which classroom should get the crayons.” 

“I’d go for you, Steve,” Eddie says. He sighs again and pushes Steve away. “Go so you can get back.” 

“I love you,” Steve says, stealing another kiss before he finally stands up. 

“Love you too,” Eddie says, smashing his face back into the couch. “I’ll be here, rotting away until you return, my sweet knight.” 

Steve shakes his head and grabs his wallet and keys off the coffee table. Then he’s gone, with the rumble of the Beemer and the faint sounds of David Bowie announcing his departure. 

Eddie lasts a whole three minutes before he’s shooting up off the couch and pacing around the living room as he thinks of something he could do to occupy his time. He’s done about as much housework as he could manage for the day, he doesn’t think he could practice anymore today or write at all with how depleted his creative juices feel, and he knows nothing good comes on TV on Tuesdays in early January. 

That’s how he ends up piddling about Steve’s desk. Steve keeps all his papers that need to be graded meticulously organized, with the ones that are fair game for anyone to grade (aka the ones with scoresheets) in the blue folder. On days where Eddie’s brain was too much, when he couldn’t even look at his guitar without feeling pain or pick up his pencil to be creative in any fashion, he needed something to do to get the excess brain energy out. Robin’s much the same way, so Steve started setting aside his pop quizzes and multiple choice tests in the blue folder for either of them to grade if they needed. Otherwise, he’d get to it eventually. It’s mindless enough to calm their brains, they feel good helping Steve, and it helps give Steve more time to focus on the essays and presentations that need more time to be graded. It’s a win win all the way around. 

The blue folder isn’t as full as normal, but there are a few worksheets Eddie can take care of for Steve. He reaches for the sticker book and the purple pen (Steve’s signature grading color) in the mug Wayne gave him that’s an apple with a little worm for a handle that he uses as a pencil cup. That’s when he sees the PTA flyer. It’s jam-packed with information and minutes from the last meeting, but in big, bold letters at the bottom of the flyer, Eddie reads:

Join us to honor this year’s Teacher of the Year, Mr. Steve Harrington, eighth grade English. 

Eddie puts down the blue folder, the pen, and the flyer. He’s still for exactly one minute before his body goes into flight or fight mode. Within ten minutes, he’s dressed in his nice date clothes and his hair is tamed back into a tight bun, threatening to snap the band. 

Time crunch or not, he drives like a bat out of hell. He has plenty of time to get to the school, they live close enough, but he needs to make a few stops first. All in all, he gets there right as the principal is starting the meeting. 

He tucks himself in a corner in the back, watching the whole thing patiently. The problem is, he can’t really see Steve. Eddie cranes his neck and bounces on his toes, trying to find a way to make it to one of the seats in the center of the auditorium, closer to the stage. 

His opening comes after the chorus does a performance, when the parents at the front scurry their students away before the meeting can continue. First off, rude, but it works in Eddie’s favor. Steve’s award is next and Eddie isn’t missing this. 

Eddie slips into the front row as the principal starts shifting gears, whispering to the vice principal as the crowd settles. 

She announces Steve to a polite applause, but that’s just not good enough for his Steve. 

His palms ache with how hard he’s clapping, just shy of letting out a loud ‘whoop’ – and he’d do it if it wasn’t for the pretty way Steve’s face and ears are pinkening up. Their eyes meet as Eddie beams. 

“Hi,” he mouths, trying so hard to not vibrate out of the seat. 

Steve’s smile softens as he gives a wave of appreciation to the crowd, eyes darting back to Eddie. As the principal sings Steve’s praise and when she hands over the microphone for Steve to say a few words, Steve’s eyes never leave Eddie’s. It isn’t until a few of his students get up to speak that Steve finally looks toward the speaker, his shy smile turning into one of pride. Eddie knows he could care less about the words themselves (it’ll be later tonight that Steve will have a crisis and finally let the kind words sink in, where he’ll cower into Eddie’s body and panic over how much these kids trust him), but rather seeing how brave his kids are for speaking to a crowd this big and doing it so well. 

The award is the last part of the meeting, so after another round of applause, everyone is dismissed. Eddie jumps up to meet Steve at the bottom of the stage. 

“You didn’t have to come,” Steve says as he jumps down. 

“I wanted to,” Eddie says. “I’m proud of you,” he adds as he bumps their shoulders together. 

“I’m just doing my job–”

“Stop,” Eddie says kindly, “you deserve this.” He grabs Steve’s hand and gently tugs him toward the exit. “C’mon, I’m taking you to dinner to celebrate.”

“What about my car?” 

“I’ll drive you to work tomorrow.”

Steve’s blush is even stronger up close, but he doesn’t fight Eddie. And it’s an absolute privilege to watch as Steve gets all shy again when Eddie presents him with flowers once they’re at the van, stammering his thanks as Eddie kisses his cheek swiftly. 

--

Ao3 Link

Thank you @lady-lostmind 💜

[jedipoodoo]

Please I want more hunter or crosshair x pregnant reader is the best thing in the world to read that.

🥹🥹

I'll give Crosshair a break with this one 😘

Warnings: Mostly fluff, slight body horror (pregnancy). Crosshair learns more about babies, Dad Crosshair, Pregnant reader.

Cold Winter's Night (Crosshair x Pregnant!Reader)

The blackout was an inconvenience more than anything. Crosshair was able to see a bit better in the dark than most humans, but squinting into the dark for too long without a visor of some kind strained his eyes.

And so the fire roared long into the night as Crosshair kept watch. Without the constant hum of electricity in the background, and the snow continuing to fall in heavy drifts outside your cabin, it felt too quiet. He didn't like it. He wished he could fall asleep as easily as you did, your head resting on his stomach as you curled around your belly beneath half a dozen blankets.

He gently stroked your shoulder as you slept, giving his hands something to do. You shifted in your sleep, and the blankets slipped off your belly as you stretched out a cramp in your leg. Crosshair reached down to tuck the blankets around you again, and stopped.

Your belly was moving, stretching in a couple spots like something was trying to break out.

It stopped just as suddenly as it had started. Crosshair blinked, wondering if his eyes were playing tricks on him or if he was just going crazy. Then it happened again.

"Sarad, sweetheart, wake up," He jostled your shoulder harshly.

"Mmm, Cross, wha-?" You mumbled, still half asleep.

"I think you have a parasite or something," He panted heavily, thinking of the report on Geonosian Brain worms Tech had read to him as an attempt at a horror story. They still kept him up at night sometimes.

You blinked up at him to clear your blurry vision, and Crosshair couldn't help but think of how this was not the time for you to look so cute.

"I have a what?" You asked, pushing yourself to sit up.

"That!" Crosshair pointed at your stomach as it started to move again.

You watched the jostling and stretching for a little bit longer than Crosshair was comfortable with, especially when you didn't start freaking out like he was.

"Crosshair, that's just the baby," You said at last.

"What?"

You laughed softly, and lay back down with your head on his lap. You gently took one of his hands and placed it against the baby bump.

"Baby's been a little active lately. They're just stretching, trying to get used to having so many limbs."

"It can do that?" He asked.

You nodded, "It's the sign of a perfectly healthy baby. They've been doing it more often because it's been so cold, and it gets the blood flowing more."

Crosshair relaxed his hand against your belly, feeling the baby kick firmly against his palm.

"Does it hurt?"

You half-groaned, half-laughed, "Sometimes. I'm kinda used to it at this point."

Crosshair looked at you in awe. "You are so much more terrifying than I give you credit for."

You grinned back at him, "I know."

Crosshair leaned down, gently pressing a kiss to your forehead and then your lips.

"Go back to sleep, Sarad. I'm sorry for waking you."

"Are you going to go to sleep too?"

"Yes, dear," He sighed. You nodded, satisfied with his answer.

As your eyes fluttered shut and you snuggled closer to him, Crosshair leaned over to your belly, whispering so only the baby would hear.

"I'm glad you're not a parasite, but you need to settle down so your mom can get some sleep, okay?"

You giggled, and Crosshair flashed you that little heart-melting smirk he knew you loved.

"I think baby might be able to do that. For one night."

[beescake]

yea i very much agree with ur take on sollux in his relation to older technology, u get it

please id love if youd share some more of ur analysis on his character (as well as ur art bc that shit is 👌👌👌)

either way, thanks for feeding my brain worms

im glad it resonated!! :') always happy to explore his character, he contains multitudes!!!

i think i may be out of sollux analysis for now, in the sense where i don't have anything new to add that hasn't already been covered in these posts? (please add if there's more...)

why i like sollux (lackadaisicallexicon, 2014)

comprehensive sollux status guide (syblatortue, 2016)

bioware machine (lime-bloods, 2016)

fridgestuck (LaureledEevees, 2017)

mary sue (3d-gla22e2, 2019)

favorite sollux trait (3d-gla22e2, 2020)

doom-bound static (gendertrickster, 2023)

however i will say there's another thing i really like abt him:

his Range!

he has a v flexible face.. even with his neutral expression, you cant help but read a tinge of melancholy/pensiveness to it.

he deters people from getting too comfortable with him by acting crude, but no matter how unapproachable he looks you can't help but wonder if he's ok. seems like he's never content with himself.

just like karkat, anger gives him purpose = something to care about & react to. without it he can appear aimless/uncertain.

it's especially interesting when you compare him to aradia, who despite having endured a lot of shit, ends up enjoying the freedom of expanding her worldview, riding the unpredictable tide of the narrative and observing the changes. sollux... doesn't.

he doesn't like watching major things progress in a way he can't predict. the lack of certainty actually overwhelms him.

and it's pretty clear why; imagine the only reassurance you get after unknowingly killing ur gf is that "it needed to happen". the only way to appease that sort of emotional turmoil is by intellectualizing those events as inevitable and out of your control.

(hs, A6I5)

when you’re just a tool for the author, trying to sit out is just feeble self-preservation until you’re needed again. if you’re not called on stage to help/assist in some way, it feels like your presence spells doom (either you or someone else will get hurt). so you avoid Events as best you can.

[mylovelies-docx]

Sorry, I Love You - Part 14 (END)

I AM PUTTING AN END TO YOUR SUFFERING!

Thank you all so much for sticking around for this story! I'll admit I lost steam during my hiatus, but I'm glad I finally found the time to finish this for you guys.

This story took so many twists and turns that I was not expecting - I honestly had nothing after the first few chapters planned, I just let my brain run with whatever it came up with. And it FINALLY wormed its way to a in my opinion satisfactory conclusion.

Hope you all enjoy :)

Plot: You and Bucky have a good thing going - best of friends that also have more than a little chemistry between the sheets. Everything is fine until you develop feelings for the man who doesn't want a relationship. What will happen when Bucky finds out?

C/W: FLUFF, EMOTIONAL HEALING, SMUTTTTTT (in a FWB fic? No way). 18+, MDNI

Word Count: 2,470

You wake to the feeling of Bucky’s hand gently shaking your shoulder.

“Do you still want a bath? You can always take one tomorrow,” he murmurs to you. 

You hum and nod your head, still determined to wash yourself before crawling under the covers of your bed that you’ve missed oh so much over the last year.

Woah, you think, it’s been a whole year since I left?

You look up into Bucky’s eyes as he hovers over you. There are dark shadows under his eyes now and his hair is shorter than it was this time last year, even if it has grown out in these last few months. His face is weary, tired from his lack of restful sleep, but his eyes are soft as he looks at you. You can see something in his gaze that wasn’t there in all your intimate moments prior to this: there’s something soft, tender, where there used to be only lust.

Your heart beats a staccato rhythm, excited and hopeful at what you think – what you believe – that look means. You reach up, placing one hand on his jaw and swiping your thumb across his cheek.

“Help me?” you ask tentatively.

Bucky’s eyes widen a fraction, and you see his throat bob as he swallows hard. His face crumbles slightly as he looks down at you. “I can get one of the nurses?” he proposes instead. “Or Wanda and Natasha if you’d like.”

You shake your head softly and continue to look into his eyes. “I want you.”

He sucks in a breath before taking you by the hands and gently pulling you to sit up. He slides down onto his knees in front of you and holds your hands tightly between his own, as if he’s afraid that you’ll take them away.

“I…” he starts. “I know there are still some things you don’t remember. People, and places, and events that are missin'. There’s… there’s somethin’ that happened between us – there’s somethin’ I did to us.” His eyes had been on you while saying this, but now he looks down at your clasped hands and starts fiddling with your fingers in nervousness. “I’ve said things to you that I never should have – hurt you in a way that you didn’t deserve. You don’t ever deserve to be hurt. ‘Specially not by me, not by things I say.”

Bucky blows out a breath and looks back up to your eyes. “We were… together. Last year. I asked you for somethin’ that I never should have because I was selfish. And you are so good, such a good person, and you agreed even when it was a bad idea.” 

At this point, you retract one of your hands from Bucky’s grasp, feeling him tighten his hold before letting you go. You place that hand back on Bucky’s cheek, cupping his jaw and feeling the movement as he speaks.

“Then you told me that you liked me,” he breathes. “You told me somethin’ so amazin’ and sweet and somethin’ I should have cherished, but I didn’t. I got mad and I pushed you away – pushed you so far away that you weren’t even on the same continent, doll.” Bucky’s breathing is ragged, but he still looks into your eyes, begging you to see the truth and feelings behind his words. 

“When you came back, I told you I was sorry. But I didn’t get to finish what I’d been plannin’ to say because then you-'' a breath, “then you told me you didn’t love me anymore - that you realized you had never liked me in that way, just got caught up in what we were doin’.” He reaches one hand up and holds onto your wrist. “I was gonna tell you that I felt the same way you did – that I liked you and wanted to try again. But after you said you didn’t have feelin’s for me, I realized I couldn’t do that to you – couldn’t put you through my shit again.”

“Bucky,” you whisper, but he doesn’t let you finish.

“So we went back to bein’ friends and I was just happy to have you back in my life again. Glad that we could talk and hang out like we used to. Then we met Petre on the mission and I – I got jealous.” Bucky bites his lip and shakes his head in agitation at himself, his actions. “I got jealous because you were always with him, because he got to be with you and talk to you. You kept laughin’ at everythin’ he said, smiled at ‘im. And I said more stupid shit, more hurtful things to you. And then…”

Bucky pauses for a moment before moving both his hands to your waist, gripping your hips with one thumb swiping over the part of your shirt that hides the scar on your stomach. “Then you got hurt and I wasn’t there. I wasn’t there to protect you and I almost lost you.” Tears well along his lower lashes, but don’t fall.

“You died,” he whispers. “I had to give you CPR ‘til the rest of the team showed up. Then I just watched you lay there in the jet on the way back. Then your surgeries. Then as you were in and out of a coma for two months. I couldn’t let you out of my sight,” he sighs out. 

Bucky’s arms slide from your waist and go around your back before lowering his head down until his forehead rests on your chest. He continues, words muffled by your body. “I was so afraid you’d disappear again. That you’d leave me and not come back and I could never tell you how sorry I was or how much I love you.”

You circle your arms around him and lean over his body where he’s wrapped around you, heart hurting at the pain you both have been dealing with.

“I know,” you whisper into his hair. “I remember.”

Bucky leans back, looking into your eyes once again. “And you’ve let me do this?” he questions. “Dealt with me not leavin’ you alone and smotherin’ you?”

“You’re not smothering me,” you console, pushing his hair away from his forehead and scratching his scalp. “I missed you so, so much. I just wanted you to hold me like you used to, even if you still didn’t feel the way I do.”

“What do you mean?” he wonders, eyes darting between your own, searching for an answer before you give it.

“I lied,” you say. “I lied when I came back. I just thought it’d be easier on the both of us if I told you what you wanted to hear – that I didn’t like you and that we could go back to being friends.” You smooth the lines that appear on Bucky’s brow as his eyebrows furrow. “I knew I loved you last year. And I still love you – I think I always will.”

“Yeah?”

You smile at the hope in Bucky’s eyes. “Yeah.”

“I love you too, darlin’ – always will,” Bucky mutters as he slowly closes the distance between your faces. “I’m sorry it took me so long to say it.”

You shake your head and continue to smile at him. “You’re worth the wait, Buck.”

Bucky’s lips connect with yours; tentative at first, trying to remember the rhythm the two of you used to have. It comes back quickly, muscle memory working and getting you both reacquainted with one another’s kiss.

You feel Bucky’s hands slide up from your back, caressing your arms, shoulders, neck, before holding onto your face, keeping you in place as he slides his tongue against your lips before slipping it inside your mouth.

You hum at the familiarity of the action. You spread your fingers against Bucky’s chest, feeling his heart beat hard against your touch.

Bucky rises, lips still on yours, and pushes you further onto the bed. He guides you backwards until you’re lying under him, one of his legs between your own. He snakes a hand under your shirt, massaging your breast. You gasp into his mouth when he gives a quick pinch of your nipple between his thumb and forefinger. Needing to feel more of you, Bucky removes your shirt and bra so that he can lavish kisses onto your breasts, sucking your nipples into his mouth and tugging gently.

You slide your hands down, down, down his abdomen, hooking your fingers into the waistband of his jeans. You run your index finger against his skin behind the metal button before popping it open and pulling the zipper down. You tug Bucky’s pants until his cock springs free, already hard and hot. You grasp it in your hand, slowly stroking him.

Bucky groans into your mouth, kissing you harder. Without warning, he backs off of the bed. You start to protest at the loss of him, but he just grabs your hips and pulls your leggings and panties off your body in one motion. Cool air caresses your moist folds as Bucky pulls your legs apart. He settles himself between your thighs, mouth leaving a trail of kisses from your knee and down, down, down to your core. He breathes you in before licking a quick swipe up your crease.

You twitch at the sensation, not having been touched by anyone in so long. Your hands grasp Bucky’s hair, pulling him further into you. He uses his fingers to part your folds, delving his tongue into you. You pant helplessly as he works you quickly toward the edge. He remembers exactly how to make you come, and it seems he’s on a mission to make it happen as quickly as possible.

Wetness collects under Bucky’s tongue, dribbling down onto the sheets below you. Before you reach your peak, you try to push Bucky’s face away.

“Bucky - unh,” you cry. “I want you.”

“I’m right here, doll,” he mutters into your core, continuing to lick and thrust his tongue. “I’m not goin’ anywhere.”

“No,” you say. “No, I want you inside me. Please, Bucky.”

Bucky moans into you before leaving one last kiss and crawling up your body. He tugs his shirt over his head and kicks his pants completely off, pulling your legs so that the inside of your knees rest against his hips. He begins to lay down on you, his elbows resting beside your head and chest coming flush with yours, but you wince.

“Gentle, baby,” you plead. “My ribs are still a little sore.”

Bucky immediately rises up and places a soft kiss on your lips. “Of course. I’m sorry, Doll.”

You shake your head and pull his lips back to yours. “Don’t be sorry.” You circle your hands around his waist and tug his hips closer to yours. “Just go easy on me.”

Bucky lines himself up with your entrance and slowly pushes inside, watching your face as your body acclimates to his after so long apart. Your lips part and your breaths come in pants as you slowly open up around Bucky’s girth.

He caresses your face, smoothing your hair back so he can see your face clearly. You catch his eyes as he looks down at you and you give him a happy smile. “I’ve missed you,” you whisper, massaging the back of his neck. 

Bucky slots his lips against yours and kisses you deeply. “I’ve missed you more,” he replies. You both smile into the kiss while you adjust. After a few moments, Bucky pulls away to ask, “are you ready?”

You nod your head and plant your feet more firmly against the mattress, knees still resting against Bucky’s hips. He slowly pulls out inch by inch until the head of his cock is all that’s left. Then, he pushes back into you, the rigid head and veins sliding against your walls and sending pleasure through you. You sigh in content, relishing the feeling of having Bucky inside you again.

Bucky takes his metal arm and pulls one of your hands away from his neck to place it on the mattress, twining your fingers together as he continues to pump slowly in and out of you, making sure to angle himself just right so that he drags against your walls where you need. 

You make love slow and gentle, neither of you in a rush. You take your time touching each other’s bodies again, exploring the places your hands and mouths still remember. Bucky kisses your jaw and down the side of your neck, suckling on the tender spot just above your collarbone. 

You arch your neck backwards to give him more room, but he takes the opportunity to untwine your fingers and move his metal hand between your bodies, cool thumb making circles around your clit. You release a whine, your body stiffening up as the coil inside you tightens and then dissolves, sending waves of pleasure tingling along your nerves. Your walls flutter and pulse around Bucky’s shaft and he grunts softly at the pressure, the vibration of the noise tickling your neck where his lips still rest.

You grab his face in both hands and bring him back up to you. You pepper his face with languid kisses – his forehead, cheeks, nose, eyelids, and finally his lips. You lick the inside of his mouth, your tongues sliding against one another. 

Bucky gently bites your lower lip and sucks it into his mouth to soothe it. He continues to thrust into you, your body still tingling from your first orgasm and swiftly approaching the next. You start to quake in Bucky’s arm from the overstimulation, but you still yearn for him. You begin to gasp and whimper, the noise rising involuntarily from you. 

Bucky kisses you one more time and moves his hand to the small of your back, raising your hips up to meet his. You keen at the new angle, toes starting to curl.

“You got one more for me, doll?” Bucky gasps. “Come on, pretty girl. Come for me.”

Your body heeds Bucky’s command, shivering around his cock once more. Feeling your pussy gripping him so tight, Bucky comes with you, his warm seed coating your walls and seeping out of you.

You lie together for long moments, staring into each other’s eyes and breathing deeply, lips connecting every few seconds for more kisses. Bucky lifts you up, cock still buried inside you, and turns so that you’re lying on top of him. Your legs straddle his waist and your head rests on his chest, listening to the thud of his heart. 

You lay there until you’re almost asleep, but Bucky kisses your head and picks you up to carry you to the ensuite, where he re-runs the bath with hot water and another lavender bath bomb. He places you down into the steaming water and climbs in behind you, where he takes his time lathering you up and washing your hair. You lean into him and surrender to the affection.

After you’re clean, he dries you off and slips his t-shirt over your head. He carries you back to bed and pulls the blanket over your body before sliding in beside you and pulling you on top of him once again. He places one hand in your hair to massage your scalp while the other smoothes over your back. 

You both lay together in a contented, blissful quiet. You fall asleep with the knowledge that whatever comes your way, you and Bucky will work through it.

Together.

Fin

Tag list: @jackiehollanderr @rabbitrabbit12321 @12345sebby @blackwood-bodecker-housewife @lauraashley93 @themorningsunshine @happinessinthebeing @nash-dara @calwitch @stany0url0calwh0res111 @pono-pura-vida @learisa @introverbatim @kentokaze @marvelogic @kaz11283

[verysmolnerd]

Doc ock visiting a doctor

He hasn’t been to one in years. For good reason too. Last time he was there, a team of doctors that joked about his dismay attempted to cut off his metal appendages.

It took some convincing on everyone’s part: Norman, Harry, and even Peter. He needed to go, not for just a checkup, but an analysis on his spine and skin.

They offered to come with him, they had done their dues and gone to one on their own times. They’re distrusting of regular doctors too, some of them are unsure or too confident. They’re either afraid of the process or too confident to use it at all.

However, his newfound family has reassured him that there’s now a doctor that specialized into scientific accidents. How such a thing came to be, he’s not so sure. But the world is ever changing, he supposed.

According to Norman, the doctor assigned to him is also his own. A trusted professional that spent years of study, even being the Osborn’s personal doctor before the messes started to happen.

So, now he sits in a waiting room. He wasn’t one to be nervous, but his foot is tapping and the actuators are worming around the small room. Granted, this office is tucked away, it’s a smaller floor in Oscorp’s one of many buildings.

There wasn’t anyone else in the room, but he can’t help but feeling that the empty space in the room is judging him. Mocking his every move, warning him that he could be trapped just like he was before.

The door separating the lobby from the office opens. “Otto Octavius?” His head goes up to the name, like a deer in headlights he looks at he doctor.

You’re calm, patient with him. So he’s a bit nervous when walking over to you, however, the only way to know is how his actuators are acting.

You do the general checkup on him: height, weight, etc. without really saying a word, it was obvious that the former doctor was nervous, you’d rather not spook him. So you moved slowly.

The X-Ray was also calm. He fully expected to see your expression worsen when you saw how warped his spine is. It was a little funny, his nasal laugh brought you out of your panic.

That’s when he started to talk to you, “I know my weight isn’t flattering, but I swear to you, it’s all adamatium.” You shake your head, the traces of a smile show on your face, “Well, you’d be perfectly healthy for your age. Save for your metalic friends over here.”

Otto nodded, it’s to be expected, Rosie really cleaned him up after college. He started to develop healthy habits for the longest time and still do them in her absence.

However, you know you frightened him when you said, “I can get those off you. If you’d like.” He went stiff, which was what you expected.. but the why is the matter to you.

You had to wrack your brain for a moment, but you made sure to wait for his answer while you tried to find then source of the issue.

You vaguely remember seeing a hospital being designed by a patient, along with the public announcement of a bunch of doctors found dead. You can only assume that they took this situation unprofessionally… it’s disappointing seeing how many doctors on their high horses.

“Do you have a process?” Otto asked, his expression unreadable. The actuators fully trained on you. “I’m glad you asked,” you clasp your hands, “Vibrainium magnetized saw. It’s quick and painless I can either remove each tentacle at their bases, so the waistband remains.”

You take a deep breath before introducing the alternative “Or I can remove the needles in your back with open surgery on your back, which is a little more complicated, so you would be sedated for a few hours.”

Otto was speechless, blinking rapidly. Which made you reassure him, “We’re going at your own pace here, don’t worry about making a decision. Just know that you are in good hands.”

“No,” he glances at his failed project, “I want to.” You smile, “What way would you like them removed?”

..

When Otto returned to the lobby, Norman was there, sitting cross-legged on a sofa. “How was it?”

“Hopeful.” He says, his thumb resting on the card detailing his next visit.

[laufeysodinson]

Simps and Riddles

Pairing: Chris Evans x Actress!Reader

Rating: G

Warning/s: none??? too much fluff?? too cheesy?

Summary: reader is asked the question, “how did you know chris was the one?”

A/n: i read after i do by taylor jenkins reid and was inspired. i haven’t written in a year, please be kind! 🥹🫶🏼 also not proofread!

also!!!!! inspired by @astranva’s pe universe but is not related in any way to her series. the pe universe has inspired me to write and get in touch with the creative part of my brain once again. thank you for sharing your brilliant ideas and writing with us! 🥺💖

“i know in this film your character is in love and married to someone whom she instantly thought to be her other half… now i know you don’t usually answer questions like this, but i’m taking my chances. so….” the interviewer smiled and put her hands together.

“you’re married to chris evans. how did you know he was the one? what moment made you think, ‘this is it. this is the man i’m going to marry’?” you were never one to talk about your personal life during interviews. but just this once, you figured you’d humor them because you were tired and bored of the same questions you’d answered repeatedly. as if it was another script you’d memorized for a film.

“well it wasn’t like in the movies where one thing happens and then you have this profound realization or some sort of epiphany… it was a collection—i guess a supercut.” you laughed, thinking about how cliché it could be to use this term related to movies as a metaphor.

looking at a spot next to the interviewer, thinking deeply you continued, “there was him saying ‘what can i do? how can i help?’ there was him sending a text that said ‘this made me think of you.’”

you looked back at her, seeing her listening intently with a small smile on her face. you chuckled, remembering a moment which you were sure the entirety of the internet also knew. “and—and there was the time when he was trimming dodger’s fur and accidentally shaved a bald spot on the side of his body. he sent me the picture with a message that just said ‘i think i did something wrong. send help’ and i could remember looking at it and laughing so hard.”

of course there were the more intimate moments—ones which you’d like to keep just to yourself and hold onto so tightly with the memories in your hands. these were the quiet nights where you both couldn’t sleep and end up in the kitchen at 2 in the morning to eat taco bell leftovers from the other night just for your stomachs to regret it a few hours later.

times when you’d both be reading a book in the living room, seated on opposite ends of the sofa with your legs right next to each other and asking him, “if you woke up one day and i turned into a worm, would you still love me?” he’d look up from siddharta—reading it for the thousandth time—smile at you with a twinkle in his eye and say, “of course, honey.” then his head would tilt to the side, “would you still love me if i turned into a worm?” you would smirk and say, “ew. no.” he’d tackle you and put you over his shoulder with his other hand tickling your side, you squealing “fine! i would—i still would! chris!”

realizing that you’re getting lost in your thoughts, you snapped back into the present. breathing out you said, “these moments are what made it all click together like a riddle i’ve been trying so hard to figure out my whole life.”

“and it doesn’t stop there. i think everyday there are still moments that add onto this supercut in my head. there are still moments that solidify or kind of—i don’t know… like… emphasize this thought in my head that says ‘hey! this is the one, dude!’”

another core memory popped into your mind, your hand about to go to your belly but remembering that the world doesn’t know and you’re not ready to share the most special one just yet.

you shrugged and smiled sheepishly, “sorry for rambling! i hope that made sense.”

“no i absolutely loved your answer!” the interviewer gushed—no doubt more than glad about the insider scoop she received from you that others didn’t.

once the interview aired, it went absolutely viral. everyone in your family and friends (both from yours and chris’ side) teased you about it, not used to you getting really personal during interviews. sending screenshots of headlines that say “who knew y/n would be a simp for chris evans?” to group chats where you and chris were both in.

fans on twitter going absolutely wild, with tweets that became a topic of conversation between you and chris during breakfast or when you’d both walk dodger together.

@/cevansfan: i want them to adopt me PLS

@y/nchris: THEY BETTER END UP TOGETHER FOREVER

@y/nforlife: wow what a great day to lie down on the highway 🥰

and a few months later, you were finally ready to share one special moment from your supercut with the world.

chrisevans

Liked by imsebastianstan and others

chrisevans The answer to all riddles✔️

Worm❓

Love of my life✔️

Wife✔️

And just a few weeks ago… Baby mama✔️

What else could I ask for? 💙 @/yourusername

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octaviaspencer I cannot wait to see you guys soon!!!!!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

y/nchris WAS THAT IN REFERENC ETO Y/N’S INTERVIEW A few mONTHs AGO I’M CRYinG

scottevansgram Feels like yesterday when you were my father in a play 😂😂😂 now I get to see you as an actual dad. Love you guys!!!

pic by henrygolding on ig! i love him and liv and their little baby so much ❤️

[nerdalmighty]

hey! so, i just recently started playing baldur's gate 3 after seeing people put it all over my dash for months--and you're one of the people i've seen reblogging a lot of posts about it LOL. so if you don't mind me asking, i was wondering what kind of character do you/did you play as? and do you have any sort of backstory for your tav that you'd like to share?

Hoooooooooooooh my god thank you so much for asking. I have a friend who comes over to watch me play on Thursdays and I make a powerpoint every week to catch her up on what she missed - this week's powerpoint literally has slides about my Tav's background (more on those later). This is about to be long, I'm about to drop ALL my lore so buckle up! AND THANK YOU FOR PUTTING UP WITH MY BG3 BRAIN WORMS!!!!! I'm glad they convinced you to play 😈

So to begin, I've been in my first ever dnd campaign with a group of friends for a little over a year now. I didn't know much about Baldur's Gate except that it was a dnd video game and that you could romance people. Me, being a Big Fan of Romance And Fantasy was like "okay well I'm in" and my friend actually let me start a game at his house. Through that, I met Shadowheart, Gale, and Astarion.

Backing up a bit to my character; I decided I'd put my character from my irl dnd campaign into the game since I already knew her whole deal. I get pretty overwhelmed with making decisions, ESPECIALLY with big open world games like bg3, so knowing who/what I wanted to be really helped me out.

In the campaign I'm in with friends, it's pirate themed, and I play a half-elf bard named Birdie Harp who's secretly half-siren (murder mermaid). To make a long story very short, she was born in the arctic and escaped her murderous pod during a coming-of-age trial where she also lost her siren abilities (hypnotizing voice, breathing underwater, etc).

I've watched a ton of Dimension 20 which is an actual play show on Dropout.tv (an "actual play" is where you watch other people run a campaign of dnd - like Critical Role, which a lot of people have at least heard of - HIGHLY recommend Dimension 20, as I find it incredibly funny and easier to get into than CR because of the episode lengths), and I knew that I really liked the silliness and theatricality of the bard class. I also loved the bards from The Owl House which helped influence my decision as well.

To be honest, Birdie is my first ever dnd character, so she's basically a self insert but with a MUCH more traumatic backstory than me (this IS dnd after all). As for the half-elf aspect, it was more of an "I want to be half mermaid, what's similar to that?" as opposed to a love for half-elves or something.

BACK TO BALDUR'S GATE - knowing I wanted Birdie to be in the game, I felt a lot less overwhelmed to come up with something entirely new - I knew a lot about the bard class having played one so I wanted to CONTINUE playing one (and I've learned even more since playing bg3!).

When I finally got my own game (I no longer play at my friend's house, but in the comfort of my own home), I recreated Birdie and started on my journey in earnest. I'm VERY MUCH someone who likes to be in control and know what to expect, so I've had guides and walkthroughs to help me the whole time - SUE ME! When it came to first meeting Shadowheart, Gale, and Astarion back at my friend's house, Gale actually immediately stole my heart - a kind, witty wizard who likes books and cats? Literally say less. I went home from that session with my friend fully thinking I'd be a Gale girlie until I really looked into the other options and saw The Vampire.

Blah blah blah, he's hot and funny, but he can also be incredibly soft, which really won me over in the end. So I've been romancing That Guy.

Through Acts 1 and 2, I wasn't all too sure about this version of Birdie's background - sure she COULD still be that half-siren from the arctic, but the game kept suggesting she was FROM Baldur's Gate. I LOVED the inclusion of the harpies in Act 1 and thought maybe that was a viable entry point for her backstory, but so far, she was kind of just... me? She was making the choices I wanted to make (and a few that I knew Astarion would like lmao), but she wasn't really her own entity apart from me except for her name. She also felt vastly different from that character I'd created for my friends over a year ago. For instance, my irl Birdie currently has a crush on a Gale-type character, but this Birdie is ass deep in Astarion (hey, sorry I said "ass deep in Astarion"). The thing I love about Baldur's Gate 3 is how you can really come up with your own backstories, since the in-game one for your Tav is so vague. It's totally fine to ignore tiny details in the game and mold them to your own headcanons for your Tav, but I was so unsure of what I wanted for this Birdie that I kind of internalized that she was from Baldur's Gate.

HEADS UP! The following has some spoilers for Act 3 and some side quests, so STOP reading if that's something you'd care to avoid (the last 3 paragraphs of this post are SAFE from spoilers):

When Act 3 finally rolled around (which is where I am currently, I only have the one playthrough so far because I become INCREDIBLY attached to things), I stumbled across the Water Queen's House in Baldur's Gate. Ah ha! Now this felt promising.

A temple dedicated to the Vengeful Sea Goddess, Umberlee, and her loyal Wave Servants to serve her. It's ocean themed, it has mermaid undertones, and their goddess is basically evil. Seems like the perfect place to FINALLY insert this version of Birdie. I wasn't 100% sure until I completed the Iron Throne mission and was faced with either handing a (mostly) innocent man over to the Wave Servants, or fighting to defend him.

Here are a few of the slides from this week's powerpoint that I mentioned all the way back at the start, starting with SOME background on the Wave Servants:

Ass and Shart are what I affectionately call Astarion and Shadowheart (Also I got this beautiful "Birdie" art on Pinterest which originated from someone named Dantrelium on Reddit):

Apologies for the small text here, but there are some more details about THIS Birdie here, which I literally made up/figured out earlier this week:

Essentially, this Birdie was born at the Water Queen's House as Kittiwake Crest - Kittiwakes are common arctic birds, which I thought would be a nice little homage to the original character she was based off of. She was raised by the collective of Wave Servants there, the main one being Flood Tide Allandra Grey who seems to be head honcho at the Wave Mother's House (in this reality, she is).

Since Umberlee is such a vengeful goddess, I imagine she asked her Wave Servants to commit unspeakable acts in her name, mainly drownings, which THEY see as merciful, but I think Birdie always saw as horrifying. Who were they to decide the fates of others? I also think that the Wave Servants themselves were abusive during her upbringing to keep her in line (but much like how Nocturne was a light in the darkness for Shadowheart, I don't think EVERY Wave Servant was evil). GOTTA have a classic tragic backstory.

Upon researching Umberlee, I learned that most of her servants are clerics, so in my mind, that means Birdie was raised to eventually become one, with her official title eventually going to be "Seawind Kittiwake Crest." Is she still half-siren/mermaid though? Not entirely sure. This IS a magical world though, so I'd be inclined to say yes, probably.

But when we first meet the Wave Servants, they're singing beautifully for their drowned sister, Holli. I think Birdie REALLY loved music and singing with her sisters and secretly trained herself in bard magic when she should have been learning to be a cleric. It's also a classic trait of bards to hide their pain through humor, so I often imagine the type of stupid things Birdie gets up to to bring herself joy (my favorite headcanon being when you meet Skittle the Rat in Wyrm's Rock prison - he's a rat merchant who speaks exclusively in puns. I think Birdie and Gale would excitedly throw puns back and forth with Skittle while Astarion and Shadowheart begrudgingly (and affectionately) roll their eyes in the background).

Another thing I love about the game is how you can string together your own ideas of how companions react to things between big cut scenes. For example, in my head, in my game, Astarion has really become a Big Softy thanks to how fucking Stupid (affectionate) Birdie acts in life and has drawn him out of his shell, but also runs a tag team scam with her where she plays her lute to distract people while he loots an entire place. Gale is Birdie's partner in crime when it comes to tomfoolery and loves to joke and fool around with her (so long as it goes easy on his knees). And Shadowheart is basically a sister figure who flip flops between sassing with Astarion and joining in on the fun. THEY'RE JUST THE BEST, OKAY? OF COURSE I'M GONNA WALK AROUND WITH A BUNCH OF IDIOTS. I LOVE THEM.

Anyway, back to Birdie's backstory: she always hated the atrocities that were asked of her, and she was looking for a way out, but was too scared to take that step and leave since the Wave Mother's House is all she's ever known. One night, while stepping out to quietly dip her toes in the water, the Mindflayers captured her, and that's where we start Act One, all the way up on the Nautiloid. She changed her name to Birdie to distance herself from her previous life, fully took up the bard class, and the rest is history.

Back to that dilemma with handing over that (mostly) innocent guy or fighting the Wave Servants: with encouragement from the party, they convince Birdie to face her traumatic upbringing and fight the Wave Servants once and for all. At this point in Act 3, she's basically helped every single person with their problems except her own. Here's another slide featuring Ass and Birdie:

That's right folks, Birdie faced her past! But the bad news is we don't get to see Astarion in this (audio from The Adventurous Adventures of One Direction):

(Video description - Astarion from Baldur's Gate 3 wearing the Wave Mother's Armor with the following audio:

Guard 1: Whoa, check it out.

Guard 2: Hubba hubba hubba.

Gaurd 1: Nice. I love dudes in skirts.

END VIDEO.) I don't want to tell you how many times I recorded that until I felt like I got it right lol. Also yes, I DID do a scum save where I handed the guy over ONCE just so I could see Ass in this outfit, but Birdie did canonically save Redhammer in my actual save file.

And honestly, that's BASICALLY it for now! My most recent save was after that battle, so I need to figure out if Birdie's going to go back with her party to confront the rest of (or most of) the Wave Servants, or if this chapter of her life is closed.

In an ideal world I'd LOVE to make one of those artsy gif edits of my Tav like this and this, but PS5s make it hard to download clips without uploading them to YouTube first which I don't really want to do.

Thank you SO MUCH for this ask, I had a blast writing it!! Sorry it's so long, I just love this game so much and LOVE talking about it. Please feel free to ask more questions OR chat with me about YOUR Tav! I'd love to hear all about them :)

[beewolfwrites]

you’re one of my favorite authors so i’m so glad you’re active again! <33 I’ve started rereading awiaf just to remind myself why it’s my favorite fic ever so thank you for feeding into my brain rot since you started awiaf until now.

on the other side of this ask

I have worms for brains and I desperately need chishiya trying to drop hints that he likes the reader but just… is so terrible at it and gets frustrated because if it. He probably doesn’t even know the first thing about flirting, let’s all be honest.

Hey Anon! This probably strayed a little from your request, but if you'd rather have a fluffier version, I'm happy to redo it :)

The idea of Kuina being a horrified wingwoman to Chishiya's terrible flirting attempts was just too funny not to write about.

(Chishiya x gn reader)

(Kuina = losing hope in all humanity)

________________________________________________

It was killing her to watch. 

She’d given him more expert advice than she’d ever given anyone - heaven only knew that boy needed it - but he was still so stiff, so standoffish, and so goddamn terrible. And now, hiding behind a pillar in the hotel lobby, Kuina felt like crawling into a corner and burying her head in the sand. 

‘Thanks… That’s really nice of you Chishiya.’  

The words had come out in the same awkward tone that one might use when humouring children, or fending off an over-familiar stranger on the bus. And what’s worse, Chishiya hadn’t even realised. 

‘You just pull the pin and it should work,’ he explained, showing off the “pin”, which was actually a keyring attached to a piece of string. 

‘Great,’ (Y/N) said, eyebrows drawing in bizarre confusion. ‘I guess it’s useful to have… maybe.’ 

Kuina bit her hand, fighting the urge to drag him away at his heels. Luckily, she didn’t have to, because without even saying goodbye, or ending the conversation whatsoever, he was now walking away, smiling with satisfaction and leaving (Y/N) standing in the hotel lobby looking utterly bewildered by the events that just occurred. As Chishiya passed the pillar, she grabbed his white hood.

He shook her off immediately. ‘Was that really necessary?’ 

‘What the hell was that?’ Kuina hissed. ‘What about everything we practiced?’ 

He shrugged lazily. ‘I thought it went well.’ 

You can’t be serious?

‘That right there? That was a car crash. You can’t just walk up to someone and give them a bomb as a present. They think you’re insane now.’ 

‘I doubt that. I left a note in their room beforehand.’ 

Kuina felt the colour drain from her face. ‘You did what now?’ 

Chishiya gave a knowing smile. ‘While the games were on, I left a note on the bed explaining that I had a gift. It was hardly a surprise.’ 

Oh my god… This is a disaster. 

She placed both hands on his shoulders, locking him in a firm grip that he couldn’t escape from no matter how much he tried to squirm away. 

‘Chishiya, listen to me now. Normal people don’t do things like this. You don’t know (Y/N) well enough to just walk into their room. You’re gonna end up with some really weird rumours going around, and I don’t want to be part of that.’ 

He finally broke away with a scowl. ‘You’re overreacting. If you’re not going to help, you can find somebody else to annoy.’ 

‘I’m literally trying my hardest to help you, but you’re impossible. This is impossible.’ 

He made a small noise of irritation and stared aimlessly at the white lobby wall. ‘Do you have any other suggestions then?’ 

‘What about telling the truth?’ 

‘No.’ 

‘It’s not that bad. Tell them how you really feel. Admit that you weren’t sure how to show it, and you screwed up —‘

‘I didn’t.’ 

‘Yeah, you did. You haven’t got a clue how to flirt, and that was a horror show to watch.’ 

He averted his gaze, looking anywhere but at Kuina. ‘Any other bright ideas?’ 

She rubbed her temple. ‘I’ll see what I can think of,’ she said. ‘Just let me work on it, okay?’ 

As she parted ways with Chishiya in the lobby, Kuina didn’t have much hope. The situation was eating away at her, because believe it or not, she wanted Chishiya to be happy, even if he was an asshole sometimes. Well, most of the time. However, even after borrowing all of her expert advice and tips, he still couldn’t quite make flirting seem natural. 

And worse, he actually did like (Y/N), even if he had never really shared the depths of his feelings. But Kuina wasn’t blind. She’d seen the way his eyes trailed after them, no matter where they were in the room. He would only ask how Kuina’s games had been whenever (Y/N) was placed in the same group. Anybody else wouldn’t have noticed. Except Kuina wasn’t just anybody. 

I think I might actually feel bad for him. 

Stepping into the elevator, she pressed the button for the sixth floor. She was so lost in her thoughts that when the doors opened, it took her a good few seconds to realise that she was standing face to face with the object of those thoughts - the object of Chishiya’s affection.

‘Oh! Hey Kuina, this is actually kind of cool. I was just looking for you.’ 

Oh no.

Kuina could already see where this was going. ‘Really? We can go into my room if you want to talk,’ she suggested. ‘It’s better than standing out here.’ 

They must have been knocking on Kuina’s door, and since the timing was right, that could only mean one thing. There would be a very long conversation ahead. The two shut themselves away in the privacy of Kuina’s room, sitting on two small chairs in front of the window. 

‘Sorry for the mess.’ Kuina began scooping up the array of lipsticks rolling around on the desk behind her. ‘I think I already know why you’re here.’ 

There’s no point beating around the bush.

(Y/N) tried to hide a grimace behind their hand. ‘It’s… well. Have you noticed Chishiya-san acting strange recently?’ 

‘Strange?’ 

‘It’s just that - this is so weird. He stares at me so much, and earlier when I came back from my game, I found a note from him on my pillow. I didn’t even know he’d been in my room.’ 

Seriously, Chishiya? The pillow?!

Kuina feigned surprise. ‘What did the note say?’ 

‘He wanted to meet with me in the lobby, so I did. Just now, actually, and…’ (Y/N) pulled out a soda can with red and blue wires stretching from the lip to the base, and a tiny pull ring on top. ‘He gave me a homemade grenade.’ 

‘I’m so sorry.’ It was the only thing Kuina could bring herself to say. ‘I really am. I can have a word with him if you want?’

‘That’s not all,’ they added. ‘The other day when I woke up I found something in front of my door too. I don’t have it here, but it was a… a shank, I think?’ 

Kuina fought the urge to put her head in her hands and cry. Chishiya hadn’t told her about this, probably knowing she would disapprove. And disapprove, she did. 

‘I don’t have it with me, but it’s a piece of shaved metal tied to a screwdriver. There wasn’t a note but I think it was him. I didn’t really know what to say to him before. I just, I’m a little confused. I always thought he was kind of cute, but all of this is weirding me out…’ 

Hold on. 

Kuina’s eyes widened. She replayed that last sentence in her head. 

Hold on just one second. 

‘I’m only asking because I care,’ they said, ‘but is he okay, you know, mentally?’ 

‘Look,’ Kuina interrupted. ‘This is going to sound crazy, but hear me out.’

Maybe honesty really is the best policy. 

She took a deep breath. ‘Chishiya actually likes you. As in, he likes likes you. He’s just fucking awful at flirting.’ 

(Y/N)’s whole body froze, eyes flashing with hope. ‘You mean he likes me in that way? He has feelings for me?’ 

Kuina nodded and leaned back in her chair. It was like a huge weight had suddenly been lifted from her chest.

‘I wasn’t going to say anything since it’s not really my place, but the two of you are getting nowhere like this. I know how he looks, but Chishiya’s not made of stone. I think he just wasn’t sure how to tell you and decided to make you weapons for protection. He’s really logical like that. I guess he figured regular gifts didn’t have any value in this place.’ 

Have I ruined it?

She had tried to explain the best she could, to put Chishiya in a good light and dissolve any rumours of him being a homemade weapon-obsessed stalker. But by doing this, did she also sabotage his chances? 

(Y/N) smiled gently. ‘I guess when you think about it that way, it’s actually kind of sweet.’ 

Kuina was perplexed, to say the least. There was no way in heaven or hell that Chishiya was sweet. Not a chance. The man was cold, stoic, calculating, basically anything but boyfriend material. But she wasn’t going to say this to the one person who might actually be able to change him.  

(Y/N) stood up and grinned at Kuina. ‘Thank you! I think, I might actually go and talk to him now. His room is just down the hall, isn’t it?’ 

“It’s room nine,’ Kuina got to her feet too. ‘I’ll come with you, but I’ll be hiding around the corner. If it’s okay with you, I want to see how this works out.’ 

‘That’s okay,’ they said. ‘I’d like you to come. It’ll be good having you there, for support.’ 

The pair left Kuina’s room and headed down the hallway towards room nine. Judging from the vague shuffling noises they could hear through the door, Chishiya was inside. Kuina gave a wink of encouragement and hid just behind the corner, the perfect place to listen in and spy from afar. (Y/N) knocked on the door, holding the soda can between both hands.

The shuffling noises paused, then the door opened, revealing Chishiya. When he saw who was on the other side, his lips parted in mild surprise. 

‘Hey Chishiya.’ (Y/N) shuffled awkwardly. ‘I just wanted to stop by to say I’m sorry about before, if I seemed off. I was still kind of thinking about my game earlier.’ They held up the soda can. ‘Really, thank you for this. It’ll be really handy in a pinch.’

To anybody else, Chishiya’s expression would seem static, bored even. But Kuina saw the vague tug of a smile on his lips; she knew better. 

‘If you use it in your next game, I can make you another one,’ he replied. ‘Or if you need a knife that you can hide in your jacket. Tasers too.’

‘Tasers?’

He smirked. ‘All you need is an electronic device. It’s a simple rewiring trick.’ 

The two spoke in hushed tones, Chishiya faintly smirking and (Y/N) taking in every word he spoke. Watching from behind the corner, Kuina was delighted to finally see her efforts come to fruition, and she had to admit, these two oddballs kind of suited each other. Who would’ve known? 

(Y/N) peered over Chishiya’s shoulder, their face lighting up. ‘Wait, is that your workbench? Can I see it?’ 

‘Sure.’ He opened his door wider and (Y/N) slipped inside. 

This is the cutest thing I’ve seen in ages, Kuina thought. Maybe I should become a professional matchmaker. 

And then she froze. 

She froze because Chishiya didn’t close the door behind him. Instead, his eyes jumped over to where she was standing, looking at her squarely. 

Busted!

She gave him an awkward wave of her fingers. However, instead of scowling at her for meddling too much in his affairs, he gave her the briefest of nods - a small thank you for the world’s greatest wingwoman. 

[quitealotofsodapop]

I absolutely adore Tang River Water au!

I really like the idea that Tang accidentally drank water from this river and became pregnant just out of carelessness. It's too hilarious. An even funnier thing was that now their child is the rebirth of jade emperor. They can never have a break. Poor guys.

But for some reason it became very interesting to me what type of Tang will be during pregnancy? Will it be easy or will he be terribly emotional? Or something else, I would really look at it. I also think that he would really not like that when he tried to eat his husband's food, and then he started to feel sick just from the smell. He would definitely look at his stomach with anger and disappointment "you. traitor". And he would absolutely ask Pigsy to hold his belly in the later months of pregnancy.

I also really wonder how they would behave with their daughter. I know they love her, but I'm sure they're absolutely scared and DON't know what to do. I just want to know what they're planning to do. Will they overprotect her because she is the rebirth of the most powerful being in all of heaven? Or will they hide it? Maybe they will ask for help from heaven?

referencing.

Hehehe! I'm glad you like it!

Tang was just so thirsty after being in the desert (I believe is meant to be the Gobi) that he just leaps into the first water source he can find. Pigsy yells after him but Tang's already gulped down the yucky muddy stream water before Pigsy reminds him that there's a water purifier in the TEA. By then, the remnants of the Mother-Child River had already begun the process.

After his body adapts to the major magically-induced change, Tang ends up using his condition to get out of work/to get pampered on. Emotionally he's ok, just a little more worried than usual. And Pigsy is such an adoring spouse that Tang's symptoms rarely go unattended. Lots of cuddles and tummy rubs in the later months.

Ankles swell: "Oh Piggy~ My feet hurt." Morning Sickness: "I need tea and kisses!" Cravings: (Tang: "I require oranges, bao buns, ramune soda, takoyaki sauce-" Pigsy: "How about I leave you inside the Speedy Panda with 500 yuan and I close my eyes while you go shop?" Tang: "I love you so much piggy.") Smells: "MK you stink. Take a shower or I will literally barf." Painful Kicking: "Cuddle time." >:3

And if the *cicada* part of the Golden Cicada is acting up; he gets into carving/whittling - cicadas etch tree bark to lay their eggs. Pigsy now has many tables in the restaurant defaced with Tang's "masterpieces".

And I absolutely hit Tang with what (he believes) is the worst symptom on Earth; Food aversion. Specifically towards NOODLE SOUP. His husband's own cooking! He's distraught! Something about the combination of broth and noodles makes his stomach turn! Broth and noodles separate? Ok. Together? Instant morning sickness. He suspects its something to do with the texture of the noodles when their soggy.

Wukong: "Maybe your brain thinks its worms." Tang: *turns green and retches*

Pigsy goes out of his way to prepare dishes for Tang that don't set off his nausea, even if it means altering his traditional methods.

Pigsy: "Ok, I've been experimenting with a new dish for a while and I want your opinion." Tang, delighted: "Ooo hoho! You know I'll always be your taste tester, Piggy." Pigsy: *presents the elements of his noodle recipe* Tang: "Huh?" Pigsy: "You seemed really sad to not eat noodle soup, so I made a dry version so that you can still enjoy the flavours. The broth is on the side so you can drink it. The guy from the somen restaurant gave me some pointers." Tang, getting emotional: "You... you changed your recipe for me!?" Pigsy, grabbing Tang's hands: "Our family recipe, Tangy. That includes you and our little critic." Tang: *bursts out sobbing and shovels the dry noodle fixings into his mouth*

The baby - "Bao/宝/treasure or bundle" (also bao buns were one of Pigsy's cooking Tang could eat) - ultimately looks similar to a baby orc from Dungeon Meshi. A mostly chubby human baby with pig features. She has a puff of Tang's dark hair that becomes little black stripes on her back like a wild piglet.

What the baby takes after Pigsy in appearance, she takes from Tang in greediness. Before she's even off milk she'll try taking bites of other people's food. She's bold and confident, hilarious to anyone seeing a tiny piglet chasing Celestial soldiers like she's her own army.

And of course theres the issue of Bao being the reincarnation of one of the oldest and most powerful deities in taoism...

Pigsy and Tang are def the overprotective types, not so much for Bao being a powerful baby, but because every immortal seems to forget that she's still an uber-fragile preemie. Her health wasn't great when she was born (worsened by the circumstances around the birth). The freenoodles parents atleast have experience raising the little chaos monkey that was MK - the only difference being that Bao can't climb so good. Though she does seem to have control over the weather for some reason.

The Celestial Realm has to catch on quickly that she isn't the Jade Emperor anymore - she gets kidnapped atleast once by Heaven's officials needing the Emperor to approve paperwork. Bao screamed and grunted, rampaging around the imperial Palace the whole time.

The Queen Mother is saddened but adoring - her husband truly has passed on, but this little angel is a wonderful new beginning for him. She hopes to reunite in a later life.

Demons in general are pretty hopeful of Bao''s existance. Now that the Jade Emperor has been reborn on one of their kind - perhaps demonkind will be elevated once more? They'll have to wait until she's out of diapers before they start placing bets.

Princess Iron Fan's immediate reaction (after dealing with the shock of losing her estranged father) is to burst out; "HAH!" at the irony. Her father disapproved of her marriage to the Demon Bull King for his race - only to be reborn as a pig demon! The coincidence is hilarious! The Demon Bull fam does visit the baby girl to send their blessings, and offer advice based on how chaotic little Red was as a calf. Bao adores her giant uncle Bull since he's fluffy and big and smells like her baba when he cooks. She also gets super attached to Red Son for similar reasons - though Tang suspects it's because she smells grilled meat on him.

MK adores Bao, and will kill everything in the three Realms if anything happened to her. Bao in turn loves her big bro - even if she bites him and steals his food.

[cambion-companion]

that drunk fic was beautiful 😂

now I just wish for Y/n who was Aegon's bff, frat boy Aegon and his buddy who always got into the worst of trouble and were a riot to watch at bars, strip clubs/or tavern and whorehouse, they were always around and somehow Aemond grew up and got engaged to them.

he's always in a state of between 'the love of my life, my dear heart' and 'oh gods there's two of them'

Aegon: *face down at breakfast beside his plate of eggs, groaning loudly*

Y/n, still a little drunk and nursing a goblet of dragon-scale coffee while Haelena (who loves them) tells them about her spider: "hell yeah"

Aemond: "I can't not marry them."

haha thank you so much, I am so glad I have wonderful people gracing my inbox with their brilliance. I wrote a lil blurb of the morning after the "worm" incident with hungover Aegon and reader hehe

"Aegon, you have scrambled egg on your face." Aemond's voice, soft and low as it was, grated against every aching part of your brain.

"mmmpfth." Aegon answered, making little effort to clean himself, instead choosing to remain with his cheek pressed to his full breakfast plate.

"Articulate."

"Stop talking, Aemond."

You took a cue from Aegon and laid your throbbing forehead against the cool wood of the table, luckily it was just the three of you at breakfast that morning. You shut your tired eyes against the crisp dawn light.

"I am surrounded by drunkards, it seems."

"Stop talking, Aemond!" You and Aegon spoke together, your groans of pain harmonizing in the dining hall.

"And churls." Aemond huffed, you heard his chair scrape the stone floor as he rose, making no effort to be quieter.

Footsteps approached where you sat with your head against the table. You sighed in relief, feeling long fingers begin caressing your scalp. The clink of a cup being set beside you caused you to sit up, Aemond still massaging your head.

"A special concoction to help with the hangover." Aemond said softly, giving your scalp a few more strokes before moving over to where you could see Aegon still laying in his food.

"Drink this, brother! Helaena made it, she's become quite adept at the crafting of such potions being married to your sorry personage."

Aemond made no effort to be gentle with Aegon, practically slamming the cup of hot dark liquid onto the table next to Aegon's puffy face, bending over to speak loudly into his ear.

"Fuck you." Aegon complained, nevertheless he sat up enough to drain the mug.

"Hmm. Next time, you will stop refilling my wife's wine goblet the first time I ask, or I will do much worse."

[cairavende]

Worm Arc 11 Interludes thoughts:

AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Ok. Just in order I think. Sorry for the chaos.

Started off with puppies. I was happy.

Then the puppies started getting a little more violent than needed. I was less happy.

Then Victoria got clowned on a little and I was little bit more happy.

Then the unkillable naked zebra lady showed up everything kinda went downhill. For everyone.

Bitch do not join the supervillain serial killer group, please and thank you.

Seriously though, The Siberian is a bit scary. Just, completely invincible as far as anyone can tell. And super strong.

Theo is having a bad day. And unless someone takes care of Jack Slash for him he's gonna have a bad few years.

Jack Slash is such a poser oh my god. Dude. Come one. You aren't all that.

Also. Jack. Do not toss a loaded baby! That baby had a full diaper. You toss that baby and you are liable to have a containment breach. Speaking from experience, you do not want a containment breach. (Also just don't throw babies of course.)

I hope Theo gets cool powers and is able to become a super amazing hero like he dreams of. On the plus side, probably gonna be lots of opportunities for trigger events coming up. On the minus side, he didn't trigger when Jack Slash was planning on killing him so I don't know if he's gonna be able to.

They were obviously going to go for Labyrinth. She has such amazing powers for mass terror. Though I guess Burnscar never tried to actually recruit her. I assume that was the plan though.

Also Burnscar needs to stop excusing her actions. Just be evil or don't be evil. You don't get to be evil and say it's not your fault (that sure will come up again in these interludes).

I fucking LOVED the description of how Labyrinths powers work. Just the details of everything. So good!

Fucking Colin. Of course they had to go for you. Why can't you just go away and leave my robot daughter alone?

Mannequin is fucking WILD. Like, god damn. Those are sure choices you made. Helps you be creepy as shit though. And get through air vents.

Mannequin writing out "U ME" to Pocketknife Man by laying keyboard keys down on the table one at a time has cursed meet-cute energy.

In the end, Colin survives cause my robot daughter saves him. And I guess she's gonna tell him the truth about being an AI. Fiiiiiiine. I will be polite to Colin if he comes over to dinner. He still needs to apologize to my other daughter though.

Also I'm sure glad the Slaughterhouse Nine won't have any use for the magic pocketknife that can cut through anything that Mannequin took. No worries at all I'm sure. It won't do jack shit for them. Might as well just slash the idea and toss the knife out.

Cool. Some Nazis died. That's great!

Not enough though. Disappointed in Shatterbird.

But if one good thing can come of this whole Slaughterhouse Nine thing, maybe Hookwolf can die. I'm not holding my breath though.

Shatterbird has a very interesting power set. Being specifically glass focused like that. Definitely can see how she would terrorize a city.

Dinah PoV. DINAH POV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok well first off, I obviously hated Coil for Dinah already. Enough that I don't really know if the Dinah PoV can technically make me hate him more. But that said, I hate him more. WTF.

The description of her power was so NEAT though! Had a minor moment of "oh hey this paragraph of this precog talking about her power works inside her head is an almost perfect description of how my brain works" which was wild. I don't actually get to see the future though, which is a major difference.

She can actually just full blow see a possible future holy shit! Wow. Like it hurts and she hates it but it's still crazy.

Also I guessed that Crawler was going to come for Traveler in a Vault (that is Noelle's cape name until I am told different) after the Bitch interlude. I was very happy I got that right since I really knew almost nothing about either.

So Crawler just basically can't die and gets stronger every time he gets hurt. I wonder how long it will take him to reach Endbringer level power?

And Traveler in a Vault is just a large monster that is always hungry and can be driven to the point of eating people. That sucks a lot for her.

Also Leviathan came after her too huh? Well that's probably fine and won't matter in the future.

Regent's sister is worse than he is. That's impressive! Like, not good impressive. But impressive.

Getting real close to the "can't exist" physic power set. I guess it's not quite it though.

She should keep a better eye on her phone battery.

AMY DALLON! I knew it would be you.

I knew you were destined to be a tragedy from the moment I met you. You were always going to become a villain. So once I knew the Nine were recruiting it was a guarantee that you'd be recruited.

Specifically, that you'd be recruited by Bonesaw. She is an artist and obviously she is obsessed over the art you could make together.

Holy shit though that chapter.

Lets see. FUCK CAROL. Victoria gets some excuses, she's a kid, she's following her mom's example, etc. But FUCK CAROL. You are partially responsible for what Amy is about to become.

Despite being terrified, Amy seemed to have a dark fascination with everything Bonesaw was doing and saying. Really listened as Bonesaw explained things.

The more detailed view of what Amy's power does is crazy. She really can do just about anything to someone.

“Why not fix your dad?” is where Bonesaw won. It's about 3/5 of the way through the chapter. And she won at that point. That was the killing blow. The rest of the chapter, the remaining 3.5k or so words, is watching Amy bleed out to drive the point home. It is Panacea's death monologue. It is beautiful and tragic and amazing.

All that said, since she is losing anyway, is it bad for me to want more of Bonesaw's notes? SHE HAS LORE! GIVE IT TO ME!

Dad at least seems pretty good. He made the perfect response after getting healed. Unfortunately she was already gone.

AND THERE IT IS. THERE IS THE THAT FINAL STEP. Fucking rewire your adopted sisters mind to have romantic feelings for you. No you don't get to say it was an accident! You chose to do it. Holy shit Amy. You are going to be an amazing (terrifying) villain.

Callback to Burnscar and blaming her power for her actions.

If Worm was a Disney movie Amy would end up with the best song, 100%. Hellfire or similar levels.

[ducktracy]

That "there's no such thing toxic positivity" from your blog post has wormed its way into my brain and gave me an epiphany; the behavior that gets labeled as "toxic positivity" (at least when people are using the label on soneone actually being toxic rather than trying to put soneone positive down) is actually a paradoxical form of toxic negativity where target of said negativity is towards negativity itself

I’M SO GLAD IT RESONATED!!! exactly!!!!! “toxic positivity” is one of my most loathed terms. and i understand why it’s used, it’s a shorthand, it gets a point across, but it’s oxymoronic. if any positivity is toxic, it’s not positivity. someone encouraging you to just be grateful or just smile or bootstrap it or whatever else and dismissing your concerns is not positivity—it is a voluntary ignorance that understandably makes the other party feel guilty and worse. nothing is positive about that!

optimism and positivity really mean a lot to me and are integral to me, and i probably get more defensive than necessary over it. but i’m so defensive because i used to know what the other side of the coin was like! i know what it’s like to be jaded and cynical and even hateful and i can owe that to a lot of bad influences in my formative years. and it’s WHY it’s so important for me to dispel the notions about what positivity and optimism and hope are

i’m not saying you should react to every situation with a smile. there are some scenarios where that’s not possible, especially now. doing so and pulling a “well, it could be worse, you could x y z so don’t complain!” is a statement of ignorance and dismissal and, again, that is not positivity. but what is positivity is the drive to incite change. to band together with your allies. to take action. that is making a positive change. to strive for a better world is positivity. and often, to do that, you have to BE aware of the negative. positivity is not sticking your head in a hole in the ground. it’s confronting what needs to be changed, analyzing it, and using that to help inform your next course of action

positivity is patience and understanding and encouragement, not dismissal and ignorance in the vein of manufactured happiness which is actually just a flimsy mask hoping to hide your fear and ignorance. listen to yourself, listen to your friends and neighbors. listen to their problems and offer a safe space. acknowledge their problems and don’t belittle them for it. even if there isn’t much you can do in the moment, depending on the issue, at least take comfort in knowing that you’re one more person giving someone an outlet to feel safe and be listened to. that is more positive and loving and indicative of a positive future than any sort of hasty dismissal with a smile painted on top.

and obviously this is easier for some to do than others. it is much more easy to be dismissive, nihilistic, negative, and so on and so forth. and, again, some situations demand that—contrary to what most “positive” people say (hint: theyre not truly positive), feeling a Bad Emotion does not mean you are unlovable and in some situations, forcing “positivity” would BE the negativity. but it takes more effort to be courageous and optimistic and a champion of positive change.

this is why it is so so so important for me to stress the importance of positivity and love and solidarity. the more people that do it, the easier it will be for others. it’s amazing how basic principles such as “being nice” are dissuaded on the internet because it’s cool to be rude and dismissive to random strangers for internet clout! cynicism breeds more cynicism, and, conversely, optimism breeds more optimism. it’s harder to do the latter, but so much more worth it, and you can take solace in knowing that you may inspire others to do the same. i speak from experience

there is a bright side to most situations and that bright side is worth striving for, even if that bright side is as simple as “i’m offering an extra shoulder to lean on”. this shouldn’t have to be some grand act of charity. if more people decide to be more optimistic and loving and positive, if we learn to drop these stupid false notions about what positivity is and forget about labels and instead just prioritize being a decent human being, this won’t have to be seen as a grand act of charity. it’s a domino reaction. be a domino.

TLDR: don’t be a dick.