#glass onion is very good and you should watch it

[palpietine-1]

I was thinking about Glass Onion, as one does, and the one thing that baffled me is why Andi received a box.

Miles killed her. There was no reason to send a box with a stupid puzzle. He knew she wouldn't be able to open it anyway.

My only explanation is that he ordered the box to be sent to Andi's address way early (maybe even before the trial) and he just didn't think about cancelling his order. If he had cancelled the order, Helen would have never gotten the invitation, so she would have never seeked out help to take revenge. And then his scheme would have never been revealed!

(except if Duke connected the dots but who knows)

But no! He had to be stupid and forget about it!

Gosh I love this movie.

[confused-stars]

something about the way Miles uses celebrity branded products clearly for their name only

because everything about his life is performative and inauthentic. everything is just built on lies because he's actually completely hollow inside. if you get rid of all the fake stuff, there's only a miserable pile of money left

[floral-hex]

birthday

[essegigi]

Just watched Glass Onion, would love to reblog all the gifsets and such but very much do not want to spoil anything. But it's so good. Even if you haven't seen Knives Out (though you should see that, too), please consider checking it out.

Not a spoiler, but something I didn't realize until I was watching it - its the first piece of media I've seen that's set in 2020, and fully acknowledges the pandemic and even uses it as a tool to give more insight into characters. Someone shows up in a mesh mask? I literally laughed, bc what a simple but effective way to show us a bit of who they are. There's so much more, but... just see for yourself.

[communistkenobi]

I think succession was the main catalyst for the trend of rich people writing self-flagellating media for the amusement of the masses, and while it’s admittedly very enjoyable watching rich people being horrible on my television, these various shows and movies never quite stick the landing because there is usually some redemptive element to it. glass onion for example is a good fun movie and I especially enjoyed how awful all of the rich people are in it, but it fumbles the ending when all the other characters finally turn on edward norton. the movie rationalises it by literally burning the financial power he holds over his friends and freeing them from the economic obligation to side with him, but I think that rationalisation is there to allow said rich shitheads the opportunity to still be good people at the end of the day, despite their wealth and freedom from consequence. because these shows and movies are written by the exact same people who went to celebrity parties during the pandemic, or more charitably, turned down invitations to celebrity covid house parties. they either are friends with or are themselves people who require a PR babysitter to prevent them from tweeting racial slurs all day and, most importantly, they run in the same circles as the people who open sweatshops in the imperial periphery. this is i think largely why the characters in succession or glass onion feel so intimately real, why their awfulness feels so precisely correct.

so while this new subgenre of Watch Rich People Be Horrible television is very entertaining to watch and I enjoy it a lot, you should not be fooled into thinking there is anything genuinely radical going on, because while this feels like a frank expression of self-deprecating humour, the self- part of that humour prevents any larger structural critique of the system that produces said rich shithead behaviour that is rendered so lovingly on screen in the first place

[setsugekka]

❥west side (m)

↳ a very special valentines with your two boyfriends.

lee minho x fem!reader x bang chan — kitchen table poly threesome, established relationship, explicit adult content. [6.5k wc] cws: penetrative sex; no barrier method used, creampie, oral sex (m+f), name calling, humiliation, light degradation, a little good ‘cop’ Chan bad ‘cop’ Minho type of vibe, Chan has a Big Dick, double penetration (m+v), little bit of facefucking, facial, little bit of hair pulling, cum eating, three-color safeword system (only green is used).

“When is he getting home, I’m starving!”

Across the apartment, nestled between black marble countertops and dark blue cupboards, Minho huffs out a laugh at your lack of patience for the third party accompanying the two of you this evening. Playfully petulant as you sprawl yourself across the large, black, faux leather couch like a child throwing a fit, you puff out your lower lip even in spite of the fact that you’re well aware that the man in the kitchen be much too busy with the chopping of green onion to give you the attention that you’re looking for.

“Couldn’t be much longer than ten minutes, you know he always works late.”

You kick your feet lightly again, just before giving up on the childish display and reaching for the remote atop the glass coffee table in the living room. Switching on the television, you instead decide on settling in comfortably — because ten minutes to Bang Chan can quite possibly mean an hour, in reality.

 But then, you hear the jingling of a ring of keys just outside of the front door of the shared apartment.

 Minho turns slightly, glancing over his shoulder and behind you with a knowing grin. “Told you.”

 The door cracks ajar, a booted foot prying between the wall and the wood to push it further — you hear the rustling of paper and plastic bags as they meet one another in Chan’s hands — full of all of the things that you and Minho had requested of him during his shopping trip on the way home.

 Minho quickly rinsing and drying his hands rushes over to the man as he enters the apartment with a bit of a struggle, carefully pulling bags from the man just entering to help him with the load — you watch with love in your heart, because what a magical way to spend Valentines Day, really.

 Not that this is all that much different from every other day, of course.

 One of the things that had you falling for Minho in the early stages of your dating phase — aside from his affluence in the kitchen and his love for cats, was his willingness to be down for just about anything. All of the places you wanted to travel to, he was interested. Trying any bizarre foods, sign him up. And sexually? Suppose he knew little to no bounds as far as that one was concerned.

 And after seven years together when you painstakingly brought up the fact that you thought a poly lifestyle might suit you more — emotionally and mentally prepared for it being the end of your relationship — you figure looking back that maybe you should have seen it coming: that is, Minho’s willingness to give it a go.

 Six months after that initial conversation and through numerous others about what your relationship would look like from here on out: you met Bang Chan.

 It was easy. So much easier than you had anticipated. When it came time to introduce the two of them and as nerve wrecking as it was, you instead found yourself in a somewhat humorous situation of nearly third-wheeling with how well the men got on with one another, and later that evening during the individual check-in’s, you found that both absolutely adored the other one.

 And so, you find yourself with two boyfriends. Six more months later, Minho asks you if you think Chan would be interested in joining the household.

 “I totally forgot to go myself after work,” Minho says as he sets the bags down onto the tile flooring of the kitchen next to his cutting station. “Sorry I had to employ your services.”

 “Nah, it’s good.” Chan answers back with a wide, dimpled smile as he unlaces and begins the removal of his shoes at the door. “Gave me extra reason to get the hell out of the studio.”

 “I’m starving to death and no one cares.” You finally whine out, feigning dead along the length of the couch. The display pulls Chan’s attention to you, smiling wide again, and with shoes removed the man makes his way to the living room area to kneel down and plant a kiss on your forehead.

 “Poor thing, she almost didn’t make it.”

 “I know, then we might have to eat her.” Minho casually responds from the kitchen, as if cannibalism an everyday practice in the household.

 “Well, I have a feeling that’s on the agenda for tonight, anyway.”

 You reach out to playfully slap at Chan’s arm as he goes to stand again, not before kissing you on the mouth, of course, and offering a gentle “missed you.”

 Heading into the kitchen alongside the other man, Chan grabs an apron off of the hook next to the stove, tying it around his waist and attempting to make himself useful there. Of course, Minho more or less only shoos him out of the way the majority of the time — instead, handing the man a bottle of wine and telling him to pour the glasses, along with making the table for the bountiful dinner display soon to come from Chef Lee, much to the both of your delight.

 When five minutes until dinner remains, Minho calls out for the two of you to get dressed for it. It’s a small, fun sort of thing that’s become a bit of a tradition in the house now: staying in for special days and events, dressing up as if the three of you were to be going out for the evening, and only to get undressed shortly after dinner.

 For you, it’s a small, strappy, champagne colored dress with a plunging neckline that leaves little to the imagination, not that it matters all that much, given the company present.

 For Chan, black, pressed slacks and an expensive, purple silk button down with more than a couple of the buttons left undone.

 As for Minho, under the protection of the apron in the kitchen, he also wears a perfectly pressed pair of black slacks, as well as a navy blue button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows to grant him the ability to do his magic as far as food goes.

 Seating yourself at the fully set table, the delicious smell of a perfectly made dinner radiating through the room, you watch as Chan saunters into the kitchen once more with the inherent need to make himself useful in any way that he can — of course, Minho waves him away once more, urging him to sit down and that he has the serving of dinner under control. Chan knows better than to argue with the man, instead, grabbing the nearly forgotten bottle of wine from the kitchen island top and carrying it over with him to the table — topping off your glass just a tad before setting it and himself down next to you. Shortly thereafter, your primary partner joints, serving all three plates and setting the dish off to the side before seating himself for the meal that the three of you are to enjoy together this evening.

 “It looks amazing,” Chan is the first to say, and much to Minho’s delight as a smile pulls at his lips. “As expected from the chef of the house.”

 “Thank you, thank you.” He responds proudly. “Don’t fill up too much, there’s also dessert.”

 A coy commentary on what’s to come later in the evening. He can’t help himself, after all.

With the three of you clearing your plates and emptying your wine glasses, Chan takes it upon himself to stand first and begin clearing the table — Minho once again insists that it not be necessary and especially not need to be tended to right now — but Chan waves him off just for a second as he quickly ushers dirty plates and glasses to the kitchen sink to be rinsed and placed into the dishwasher before any remanence of food be left to stick to the dinnerware. You watch as Minho smirks at the mans earnest, reaching your hand over to take his with a gentle squeeze.

 You can’t imagine a happier life than this one, with the two men you love in absolute.

 “So then—”

 The words ring out from behind you, Chan, as he waltzes back over and stands just between where the two of you sit, placing a hand on each of your shoulders, you look up to find that charming, sweet grin that you’ve grown to adore so deeply as it takes the corners of the mans lips.

 “—How about that dessert, yeah?”

 Tonight, the three of you decide on the largest bedroom: your primary bedroom with Minho as in it resides the largest, king size bed of the apartment. Naturally, Chan is no stranger to this space, having spent many a night sleeping with the two of you as well as engaging in other such activities. He has his own room as well, enjoying his space to himself should he want it and far more utilized in the earliest stages of his having moved in, but as the months passed and the love and comfort grew, it was more often than not that he would be cozily nestled within the sheets along side of you and Minho, whether it be a result of sexual endeavors or not.

 Immaculately made bedding displayed before you, it’s almost a shame to have it torn apart shortly — of course, this is a thought that comes and goes from your mind quickly as the first hand of Minho’s splays across your lower back — urging you forward and towards the piece of furniture.

 “So,” he says, the two men stopping near the doorway as you spin to face them and sit at the edge of the bed to take in the sight of the real feast of the evening. “What’s on the agenda? Do you feel good tonight?”

 Nodding, you lean back against your palms. “Yeah, I feel really good. Maybe even want to get a little bit crazy, ya know, since it’s a special occasion.”

 A single eyebrow propping up on Minho’s face at the words, he turns to look at Chan who meets his eyes simultaneously — both with grins pulling at their cheeks. “Alright, give us the rundown, darling.”

 With legs crossed, you slowly pull them apart with intention of granting both of the mean a sneak peak of what resides under your dress — which is thin and little as far as additional clothing goes. As both of their eyes hone in on the sight before them, you hum to yourself innocently as if to have no clue what it is that you’ve done.

 “Been a while since we got nasty, messy,” you begin. It’s true, too. The comfort of domestic life having fully taken hold of your relationship in all ways — the majority of the sex you find yourself having being with one or the other, and rarely the three — and in the event that it is, it be relatively vanilla in nature.

 But not tonight, if you’re to have your way.

 “A good night to revisit some of the earlier fun: a little name calling, a little humiliation, even.”

 Reaching his hands up to begin unbuttoning the few left fastened on his shirt and pulling the bottom hemming out from its tucked place, Minho’s eyes darken at the words and all that it entails for him. “Right, after all, you weren’t satisfied with having just one man, now were you?”

 Happy with his quick uptake on precisely what it is that you’re looking for, and something that certainly comes with years of experience together, you grin sinisterly at your loving, adoring partner for life. “Sure wasn’t.”

 With Chan sidelining briefly in the beginning as the two of you lay out the scene for him to fit into, Minho moves his hands down to his belt as he slowly begins the unfastening of that — the jingling of the metal ringing through the otherwise empty silence of your bedroom.

 “Good thing you have him here to be sweet to you, can’t promise that I’ll do the same.”

 And slightly out of character, out of scene, you stare him directly in the eyes as the whisper leaves through your lips. “Good.”

 Taking his cue, Chan begins to come around to the other side of the bed; shirt and belts discarded similarly to the man still present in front of you, you feel the soft, indentation in the mattress of him crawling up behind you long before soft hands find their way to your shoulders — fingers looping into the straps of your dress and delicately dropping them down your arms as his head dips down enough for his lips to find the flesh of your ear. Closing your eyes, your head lolls to the opposite side of where he is as you savor the feeling of having your other boyfriends hands on you — hands now pressing forward and to the front of your chest to palm you through the thin fabric of the garment, and only for a moment before allowing his hands to slip in through the dip of the top and feeling the warm comfort of his bare hands cupping your breasts.

 It’s easy to lose yourself in moments like this — the sort of soft, caring, graceful lover that Chan be — a man that always carries with him a tendency to touch you as though you’re glass capable of breaking, a far cry from the tough and rough role that Minho fall into so naturally. Of course, your primary more than willing and capable to offer the same realm of love-making as Chan, but suppose everyone has their niches.

 And thus the relationship balance together so beautifully well with the both of them by your side.

 Attention honed in on the way that your partner touches you from behind, you fail to notice that Minho slithers into place just in front of you, already fallen to his knees between your own and hands coming to the inside of your thighs as the first alert of his being there. It doesn’t alarm you, feeling his presence — instead welcoming him with the careful slide of your legs open wider to accommodate his placement as he grins up at you.

 “Wore your smallest panties, huh?” He says with a tone lustful and dark as his hands slowly make their way up your legs. “Been waiting for this? Wanted it that bad?”

 Kneading hands into the flesh of your chest, Chan rubs a feathered, pointed circle over one of your nipples at the absence of response to the man between your legs. “Answer him, darling.”

 You whisper out a simple “yeah” in response as a single finger of his reaches your slit and glides up the length of it — through the shiver the contact sends across your body, Minho glances up at you again just as you look down upon him.

 “Who’d you do it for?” Minho asks now as he applies the slightest bit of pressure against your clit. “Me, or him?”

 “M-Minho…”

 A humiliating question, and if the man in question be inside of you right now he’d surely be able to feel precisely what it is that such a thing does for your arousal.

 Of course, he knows without it, too.

 Catching onto your reluctance to answer the question, your primary partner scoots himself forward, hooking his arms under your knees to pull you closer to the edge of the bed as well and with little hesitancy past that point, licks a firm strip up your pussy and punctuating the motion with a loud smack of suction against your clit that has you quaking within the arms of both men.

 Pulling up ever so slightly to look at you again, Minho grins like a man with all of the upper hand in the situation. “Answer, or no one is coming tonight.”

 The worst threat the man could conjure up, because at the very least you need to watch one of them carry on to completion this evening.

 Swallowing down your humiliation, you close your eyes and lean your head back against your boyfriends shoulder before allowing the name to fall from your lips. “Chan.”

 “Good,” he quickly replies as he settles back into his working position. “I better get you ready for him then, huh?”

 The words send an additional shiver down your spine, interrupted by the feeling of his hot mouth against your pussy and two fingers burying deep inside of you.

 On the other side, you feel Chan’s lips feather across the skin of your face from behind you still before whispering into your ear so lightly that you consider it might truly be intended for your ears only. “Going to take me so well, won’t you? He’ll get you ready for me, know you can’t have it that easily.”

 This time you know that Minho can feel the way your walls close in around his fingers — Chan is right, though. Two men offering two very different experiences and their dicks no different as far as that goes: Minho only slightly above average in length and girth and something you’ve been taking for many, many years already. Chan, on the other hand — well, suppose there had been a question of physical capability when it came to girth the first time you had seen it.

 You’re more weathered for the storm nowadays, but quickies with him be a bit of a pipe dream, certainly.

 Third finger prying you open from the man between your legs, you bring a hand down to bury into his hair as he relentlessly circles your clit with his tongue — simulating the penetration of taking cock with the smooth, careful glide of his hand between your legs, you melt into the both of them as Chan talks you through it all so lovingly. “You’re already doing so well baby, can you come for him?”

 Nodding furiously at the question and only a whimper verbally, you feel the pointed shift of Minho’s ministrations against you — knowing exactly what it takes to get you to your peak — looking down at him through half-lidded eyes as he never breaks eye contact with you for even a second as you clench around his fingers and every muscle in your abdomen and legs tightens with your impending release. You get approximately five seconds of the orgasmic build up before your partner pushes you over the edge entirely and has you coming around his hand, fucking and sucking you through your first high of the evening as you desperately whine his name out for the both of them to hear.

 Slightly pulling back, Minho kisses along the inside of your thigh a handful of times before standing again and presenting himself for your viewing — pants already discarded you suppose well before him having made his way between your legs, he reaches out for your shaky hand and taking it, you allow him to pull you up into a standing position for the man behind you to assume the position you had only just been in — slipping his own slacks and underwear down his legs and kicked to the side before once again placing hands on your sides again.

 It’s the perfect opportunity to fully disrobe you now, as well. Chan’s thumbs slipping into the sides of the useless fabric and pulling it to drop and pool at your feet, you kick it to the side as Minho pulls you into a full, passionate kiss — all teeth and tongue, want and desire laced throughout — he moans into your mouth at the feeling of you wrapping a hand around his length, nearly fully erect already at the promise of the activities soon to come.

 Behind you, Chan palms over himself at the sight of the two of you — his free hand ghosting over the flesh of your body in front of him.

 When shopping for a new bed a few months ago, scenarios such as this were held strongly in the forefront of yours and Minho’s minds. The closer to the floor, the better.

 Breaking the kiss, Minho whispers into your mouth quietly. “Why don’t you go ahead and sit on it, baby? Face me, want your mouth around my cock while you take him.”

 Dizzying words and a request that you’re more than happy to oblige, you step backwards as Chan’s hands grip your hips to help you down and into position atop him. Reaching between the both of you to grip his length, as the wide tip of him meets your entrance you waste no more time bearing your weight down to sink onto it slowly as your legs shake from the struggle of holding yourself up enough to not try to take him in one, swift go.

 Minho keeps your free hand in his as you embark upon your mission, your other hand flat against Chan’s thigh in an attempt to distribute the weight — eyes screwed shut at the delightful stretch of the man under you pulling you open to accommodate the width of him inside of you.

 Thankfully, Minho does thorough work, and within a few seconds you find yourself fully seated in the lap of your third addition to the relationship. Comfortably full of him.

 Giving yourself time to adjust to it, you instead swing your attention back to Minho in front of you, lazily stroking himself at the view displayed before him as you take the cock of another man — his gaze upon you heavy and lustful — stepping closer to you, you bring a hand up and around his length to replace his own. Licking one, long stripe up his cock, Minho groans at the touch and the visual of you before hastily pulling the head of him between your lips and sucking off with a loud ’pop.’

 Chan has other plans as you cock warm him, one hand reaching around to the front of you to first feel the place where he stretches you open before the pads of his fingers nestle against your clit to rub slow, firm circles into you.

 Bringing one hand up, Minho runs his fingers through your hair before fastening his fist in place at the top to pull your mouth forward and onto him once again — moaning around him, his eyes roll at the sensation of the warm, wet glide of your mouth along his cock.

 “Mouth feels so good, baby,” Minho whispers out with his eyes fully locked onto the way that he disappears inside of you. “Want me to come in your face?”

 His voice sounds so loving and delicate despite the dirty things he’s saying to you, and groaning around the girth of him, one corner of his mouth pulls upwards at the response.

 “Or on your face?”

 You groan around him again, Chan’s circles into your clit increasing in pace as well as the quickness in which you fuck your mouth along Minho. The intensity of the situation and the way that it’s so arousing bringing you to a point of near desperation in releasing at least one of the men you’re lucky enough to be engaging with tonight.

 It appears that Minho feels it, as well, his head falling back momentarily before bringing it back to cast his eyes upon you again. “You’re gonna make me come fast if you keep going like that, love.”

 “Think she wants your cum,” Chan says from behind you as his lips once again find their way to your ear. “Look how hard she’s working for it, she wants it so bad.”

 “Didn’t she just say she wanted to be stuffed full of your cock?” Minho replies back to the man behind you, the two of them carrying on a conversation over you almost as if you’re not even there. “Guess she’s just hopelessly needy for cock and cum, huh?”

 “Guess so.”

 “I’ll give you what you want then, my perfect little cumslut.”

 You realize it’s been such a long time that Minho call you a name like that with the way that it has far more impact on your arousal than you might have anticipated. Walls gripping down on Chan upon hearing it, you feel the way his lips pull up into a smile without saying anything about it — allowing you and Minho the moment to yourselves as you continue running your mouth along the mans length with needy quickness. As he finds himself closer and closer to peaking, Minho’s fist in your hair tightens to hold you still as he instead takes control of the momentum, fucking quick and shallowly into your face before burying himself inside and beginning the release of his cum down your throat with a throaty grunt.

 The first pulse of his release comes full and you swallow it down as he pulls himself from your mouth and rubs the wet tip of his cock along your swollen, red lips — the remaining two, three pulses of his cum far less powerful and only dribbling along the skin of your mouth, cheeks and chin as he comes to full completion on your face with a heavy sigh of contentment.

 “You look so pretty like this, covered in cum and stuffed full of cock. It’s like you were meant for this, my love.”

 Hand releasing from your hair, he brings it down to the art done along your skin, shoveling the most prominent streaks of his release into your mouth and allowing you to suck his fingers clean of him, only to lean down and fully press his own mouth to yours for another deep kiss.

 “Now,” Minho says, pulling away from you and taking a full step back. “You should give her what she really came for tonight.”

 “Is that what you want now?” Chan asks into the shell of your ear — he doesn’t bother to wait for much of a verbal response, however, before leaning backwards and lying you flat against his chest. “Want me to fuck you open for Minho’s viewing pleasure?”

 Feet flat against the mattress and knees bent, it gives the man the ability to fuck into you properly now — one arm wrapped around your chest to hold you firmly in place as he begins his slow, steady drive into your drenched, welcoming pussy.

 Even just the first, full plunge of him into you feels electric with how stimulated and aroused you are by now.

 Whimpering out as his pace hastens, you can already feel the threat of your second orgasm bubbling in your gut — one of the perks of a man with such a massive cock — the constant, unrelenting press against every inch of your insides as he fucks into you expertly and with full intent of having you come undone around him.

 To the side, Minho climbs up and onto the bed next to you to watch you take your other boyfriend as he watches on with a very gentle glide of his hand along his own length. Not an impossibility by any means that he be able to bring himself to full erection a second time in the evening, deep down, you find yourself hopeful for the possibility, as well.

 “Gonna come around his dick, baby?” Minho asks with a hedonistic desire lacing his tone.

 Nodding quickly again, Chan pulls his hand away from between your legs. “Think you can come around me untouched? Just my cock?”

 You think it’s a very likely possibility, and the dialogue surrounding it certainly making it much more reasonable.

 “What do you need to come? Tell me.” Minho says, cock standing at nearly full attention once again as the grip along himself becomes slightly more firm at the sight of the both of you in front of him.

 Asking for you to tell him what you need to come around another man, untouched.

 “Faster, harder—”

 You can only manage out those two words, which are plenty enough and Chan is happy to oblige as he fucks into you harder and faster just as you had requested. Arm wrapped over your chest holding you harder against him to keep you in place to take his unrelenting pace into you, the feeling of release this time so overwhelming that you feel the beginnings of tears pricking at the corners of your eyes as you bite into the bottom of your lip in an attempt to hold yourself together. The intensity of this orgasm unmatched, far and away better and stronger than the first, you begin the chants of begging for him to keep going, not to stop, that you’re so close — and through the crack of one eye opening, Minho looms over you from the side with such a sinful grin splayed across his features as he watches on.

 “You’re fucking her so good I think she might cry, Channie.”

 Leaning down to lie lengthwise with you, Minho presses his lips against the shell of your unoccupied ear, reaching a hand up to feather fingers over your forehead and brush stray hairs away from your sweat-covered forehead. “Can you take his load like a good girl for me? So I can fuck it into your messy little pussy when he’s finished with you?”

 The juxtaposition of the nastiness of the words with the softness of his tone sends you spiraling, walls gripping tight against Chan’s length as you nearly shriek in release through an otherwise clenched tight jaw. Growling into your ear at the feeling of you clamped down around him, his thrusts into you becoming sloppy and uncoordinated in an instant as his own orgasm rushes to him.

 “Oh love, you feel so good on me,” Chan whispers from beneath you through a shaky, orgasmic voice just as he fully buries himself inside of you in anticipation of his finish. “I’ll pump you so full of my cum, just how you like it, yeah?”

 You nod, knowing you not need to respond to it — feeling the initial expand and pulse of the mans cock as he does precisely what he says he will and empties himself deep into your cunt.

 Kissing along the side of your face and allowing the both of you some time to come down and back to earth, Minho still so cautiously and lovingly making himself present next to you — you rise and fall in tandem with the inhales and exhales of Chan beneath you as the both of you work to catch your breath.

 Of course, your primary partner has other, messier plans for you, however.

 “Think you’re ready for me, darling?” He whispers against the side of your face, teeth presented through the grin on his face — a devilish man with devilish plans that you’re more than happy to participate in.

 You nod in response, and Minho takes the opportunity to pull your limp, tired, and used body from the other man to lie you face first into the mattress, circling around behind you and pulling your hips up into position before him.

 “Color?”

 Still trying to catch your breath, Minho places a gentle hand at the small of your back, slowly and lightly rubbing up along the length of your spine and towards your shoulders before coming back down to the place in which he began. “Don’t rush, if you’re not ready we can slow down—”

 “No,” you huff, turning back to look towards him with a look that nearly asks if he’s fully out of his mind. “Just needed a second to catch my breath, I’m good, green.”

 “Yes, my love.”

 With how disheveled you look you think that perhaps another man be less willing to take your word for it, trust your judgment — Minho, however, in all of your years together more than happy to trust and accept you.

 The glide inside of you is easy this time — having already been fucked fully open and cummed in by Chan who still lie next to you and watching on with glee in his eyes — Minho only bothers to give you a passing moment before digging fingers hard into the dip of your waist and pulling you firm against his cock in full with a throaty, heavy groan.

 Crying out at the feeling of him, your own fingers digging into the sheets below you as he fucks you open all over again on his own dick, you stabilize yourself onto one side and against your shoulder so that you’re able to reach down and rub circles into your clit as he relentlessly fucks into your messy, used hole.

 “Feel good, baby?” Minho groans, settling into a quick pace against you from behind. “Tasting my cock wasn’t enough for you, huh? Needed to be filled up by me, too.”

 “She wants both of her boyfriends to come inside of her,” Chan adds from where you left him, head turned now to enjoy the display as it carries on next to him. “Fuck my load deep inside of her and fill her up again.”

 Whining loudly at the implications of the words, you grip harder into the mattress beneath you, only for Chan to reach one hand up and lace fingers between your own as you do.

 “Is that true?” Minho asks despite knowing the answer fully well. “So much of his cum has spilled out while I fuck you — so filthy and wet for us, but don’t worry, I’ll make a mess of your cunt all over again, love.”

 Circling harder and faster against yourself, the familiar coiling of orgasm creeping up a third time with the aggressive, rough pace that Minho fucks into you — he pauses briefly and much to your dismay — leaning forward and gripping into your hair with a fist again, yanking your head back and to the side to keep your eyes on him as he continues to chase his second high of the evening.

 “Look at me while I fuck you,” he finally demands through gritted teeth — a tough, domineering side of him that you don’t often see but quite enjoy as a treat from time to time. Tone dropping to sound so much deeper than before, your walls pressing down around his cock as his hips meet your own with constant succession. “Whose is it? Tell me whose it is.”

 “F-fuck, Minho—”

 “Tell me. Say it.”

 “Yours, it’s yours!”

 “That’s right, that’s such a good girl. Pussy made especially for my cock, so I’ll fuck it when and how I want, right?”

 The dirty talk doing all of the work of bringing you to the edge of an orgasm that you otherwise weren’t sure of your ability to find, you pull your eyes briefly to Chan as he gazes upon you with nothing but love and respect gracing his features.

 You couldn’t be luckier with the two men you ended up with.

 “You better answer him, darling. You know he won’t let you come if you don’t.”

 Squeezing your eyes shut as your release looms — thighs shaking at the relentless pace in which Minho slams into you to chase his own high — nodding quick against the mattress, you devolve into babbling and begging all over again with the threat of orgasm teetering on the edge.

 “Yes, yes! Minho, please—”

 Grinning, the mans grip into your hair tightens only briefly with the oncoming full, hard snaps of his hips against you to pull the release from you. “That’s right baby, come on my cock too and I’ll give you what you want.”

 Coil snapping in your gut, it’s a near silent shriek that the man elicits from you after all of the events of the evening — mouth hung open and feeling the loving comfort of your boyfriend already spent and to the side as he softly squeezes your hand — shortly after you begin yours, Minho follows right after. Two, three more drives into you and burying deep into your guts as he paints your insides with his cum now, the man pulls from you only seconds later with only the tip of himself still nestled inside of you as he strokes the wet, exposed, length of his cock — milking himself of the majority of his load before fucking it back into you hard with a few more rough, full drives into your soiled, messy hole.

 With a sudden, floppy drop, Minho finds himself laid out on the other side of you now, chest heaving just as Chan’s had been not too long before and plenty spent from the full itinerary of the evenings activities. Glancing over at him through a barely cracked open eye, you’re happy to find a wide, fucked-stupid smile sprawled across his lips.

 A job well done, and evening gone off without a hitch.

 “Should I run the shower?” Chan asks, having had the time to recuperate while the two of you tired yourselves out entirely in the meantime. With Minho entirely unable to respond, you turn to cast your eyes upon your thoughtful, caring, partner.

 “Put the kettle on first? I want to have an evening coffee.”

 “Of course.”

 Turning to face you, Minho finally attempts to speak through a dry throat. “Coffee this late? What are you, some kind of heathen?”

 Playfully slapping his thigh, you lean in to press a kiss onto his mouth, but with his hand reaching up and to the back of your head — the intimacy of it deepens unexpectedly, but pleasantly all of the same as you melt into it and the love that he offers you.

 “I love you so much,” he finally whispers against your dry, bitten lips. The sparkle in his eye all the more telling of his adoration for you than any words could ever hope to match. “You’re amazing. Perfect.”

 “I love you, too.” You respond back to him, just as Chan reenters the room — the sound of the shower running only just down the hall.

 The both of you looking up and towards the still naked man in the doorway opening, he begins to tell you that the kettle is on and the water running, only to be cut off abruptly by a simultaneous offering from the partnership still sprawled out on the bed in front of him.

 “We love you.”

 It takes him a moment to process the words despite it not being the first time he’s heard them, and as a big smile takes his face with signature dimples present, he presses hands into his hips and cocks his head to the side playfully, as if completely taken by the thoughtful offering.

 “Well damn, I love y'all too.”

 Stepping towards the bed and offering each of you a hand, Chan helps hoist the both of you to your feet, keeping said hands held firmly inside of his own for just a tad bit longer than really necessary.

 “Let’s get washed up, and get you that coffee, eh?”

 “Yeah, lets.”

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ hope you enjoyed! please check out my navigation for more (´｡• ᵕ •｡`)

—this is a oneshot, there will be no part 2.

[slexenskee]

What are the heroes opinions on No Scrubs music? And are there certain songs that some of the pros empathize more with?

Been pretty curious about this since Erasure and the Detective talked about how there are plenty of off duty pro's in the crowd of a No Scrubs concert.

Ahaha should I just go down the list? Tbh idk if I'll ever get to most of these reactions so it's a good thing this was asked haha

Echo: Biggest stan. He can do no wrong. She was shocked to hear he's Dabi, but also loves the more chaotic No Scrubs songs (I Write Sins not Tragedies, But it's Better if you Do, Jesus of Suburbia etc) and is like, nahh that checks out. Her favorite album is "Good News for People Who Love Bad News".

All Might: listens to them during his hospital stay bc Naomasa recommended it to him (the troll lol). He loves them on first listen, bc he really digs american alternative music and is shocked he's only first hearing them now. His favorite album is Death Before Decaf by a landslide. He worries about his Satoru-shounen, bc some of these songs deal with a lot of trauma. Also is like... wait a minute Semi-Charmed Life is my favorite song and why is it about crystal-meth??? Satoru-shounen?!

Eraserhead: thinks "... this guy has a lot of songs about women, for a guy who historically has never slept with a single woman." His favorite songs are 'This Ain't a Scene it's an arms race' and 'Sugar we're going down', bc he appreciates the irony of some of the lyrics

Present Mic: loveesss the vibe of Glass Onion Heart, as he's a pop-fan. He was really surprised to find Ru-kun and Dabi are the same person, but he respects the hell out of Ru-kun and adores his music and has also mad respect for Dabi after he saved the kiddos on multiple occasions, so he's a major stan. His favorite song is Tokyo, or Moving to New York, bc they both have that 'electropop sound'

Midnight: Her favorite song is Misery Business, or Thanks for the Memories. She's more of a peripheral fan than Present Mic, but she enjoys their music. She adores Dabi/Ru-kun's 'aesthetic'.

Endeavor: doesn't know how to feel. Is very overwhelmed. Somehow he could handle watching his son blow up a terrorist cult on live TV but has heart palpitations watching him perform in a wig and a Sailor Moon outfit. there's too many songs for him to parse out. He tries the acoustic album first because it seems less overwhelming, and it just makes him kind of sad. And full of regret in a way. His son is so talented and Endeavor had always been so full of himself that he'd never realized. His favorite song is No Such Thing - he identifies with it a lot and lowkey hates himself for it bc he 'realizes' how similar he and Touya must be to go through similar circumstances. He also really likes Notion from the same album. He hasn't managed to branch out to the other albums, but he always listens when the songs are on the radio. He only really dislikes hearing Say It Aint So, for obvious reasons, even though the whole alcoholism and step-father thing confuse the hell out of him.

Tensei: Obviously has a soft spot for the acoustic album he bullied ru-kun into making, but his favorite is Good News for People Who Love Bad News, bc that's the album he first found them through and he feels nostalgic about it, but he absolutely adores all the songs/subliminal messages of Death Before Decaf. I'm Not Okay is his favorite song, although it's a tough call. He obviously was the first hero to find out Ru-kun and Dabi are the same person, and he's also lowkey moonlighting as an online forum warrior defending Dabi to his dying breath lol. He'll be very embarrassed if anyone finds out his screen name.

Best Jeanist: Not his kind of music, but he digs the ✨aesthetic✨ and is obsessed with some of Ru-kuns more performative outfits, even the ones that aren't jeans. He's actually a lowkey fan of Mitsuya's designs (but doesn't know his real identity) and can spot one from a mile off. He would absolutely slink up to Dabi at a random event and ask him where he bought his jeans.

Miruko: Also not her kind of music, but once the 'SixWings' stuff drops she's curious enough to give it a listen. She likes Glass Onion Heart the most bc of its more pop sound. She definitely just wanted to be nosey and see if any of the songs were blatantly about Hawks, but is a little confused to see most of them seem to be about women.

Edgeshot: Actually digs their latest album Infinity On High. Has a soft spot for the Green Day songs, Jesus of Suburbia, Holiday, and Hitchin' a Ride - although he's emphatically not an anti-establishment rebel like those songs would suggest lol.

Kamui Woods: Lowkey another major stan that keeps it lowkey like Tensei. Also has a gay crisis over Ru-kun. 1979 is his favorite song. He's unknowingly a Smashing Pumpkins fan, so he likes Today, Cherub Rock, 1979 and Mayonaise.

Hawks: I mean we'll def get his reaction in the fic but yes he's a fan, once he starts listening to it. His favorite is Mayonaise... for what will be obvious reasons... and also Island in the Sun for similar reasons lol. Outside of those he's actually similar to Endeavor (which he doesn't know how to feel about lol) in that the acoustic album is his favorite and specifically No Such Thing and Notion. Although when he turns 23 he changes his ringtone to What's My Age Again.

Not really heroes but do the students count??

Jirou: Favorite song is Misery Business, but her favorite album is Thanks I Hate it Here. She's a massive fan of all their songs, but with her keen ear for music she's especially fond of the really great riffs in Death Before Decaf. Her second favorite would be Smells Like Teen Spirit.

Katsuki: His favorite song to play is Reinventing The Wheel to Run Myself Over, + he likes that song in general bc he just identifies with it lol. He also really likes Homesick at Space Camp, again becuase it's just a fun song to play on the drums. Most repeated No Scrubs song on his spotify is actually My Heart Is The Worst Kind of Weapon from Ru-kun's acoustic album... bc he's a massive simp and is absolutely obsessed with ru-kun's voice. Like he'd buy random super racy bodice-ripper audiobooks narrated in a language he barely understands just because Ru-kun was narrating them.

Hagakure: Immediately downloads all the albums after the news breaks bc she stans Dabi and omgggg he's a sexy rockstar on top of that?! Yeah she's a bandwagonner and she'll fight you about it. She really loves the fun, teenage-rebellion type songs - What's My Age Again is a personal favorite, even though she's not 23 lol. She also likes Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner, a Little Less Sixteen Candles, and Sugar We're Going Down.

Ashido: Fellow bandwagonner who stans Dabi and now stans Ru-kun. She and Hagakure absolutely nerd out and giggle in their rooms listening to their favorite villain/artist, and Jirou sometimes joins them. Yui finds the whole thing embarrassing and pretends she doesn't notice them. She's also obsessed with the acoustic album (thank you Tensei lol) bc she daydreams of Ru-kun one day serenading her with his guitar. She likes the classic Fall Out Boy From Under the Cork Tree teenage-romance-angst-drama songs, Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner, a Little Less Sixteen Candles, Sugar We're Going Down + Thanks for the Memories and This Ain't a Scene from FOB's Infinity on High.

Uraraka: feels like she has to get into it bc all the 1-A girls are into it now. She's too embarrassed to ask Yui about it directly the way Ashido and Hagakure sometimes do (Yui usually just hedges the questions off) but she always listens to the girl's answers whenever they do. Her favorites are Dance, Dance and Tokyo.

Tamaki: had totally been a fan before realizing Ru-kun and Dabi were the same person, had the usual gay crisis about it, was mortified to realize he'd made such a terrible first impression on one of his favorite artists and goes on to sulk in a corner for a lil bit but gets over it. His favorite song is My Own Worst Enemy, just loves the all around vibe. He also really likes Jesus of Suburbia and Smells Like Teen Spirit.

Mirio: Had heard of them bc of Tamaki, but had never gave them a real listen until after the news dropped. He likes a classic rock sound so his favorites are ones like Cherub Rock, In One Ear, and the assorted Green Day songs. He also loves Dance Floor Anthem though, just because it's such a fun song.

Nejire: Same as Mirio, it's not really her usual bubble-pop so she's heard of them through Tamaki but otherwise has never really listened to them. Accordingly she likes the acoustic album (omggg Ru-kun's voice is so sexy ~) and Glass Onion Heart's more pop-ish songs like Dance Floor Anthem, Dance, Dance and Tokyo.

The general consensus is very "???" and also "man this guy has been through some shit and has some bad vices about it but damn does he have a great voice" and frankly, take one look at him and think he lives a very appropriate rockstar-esque life lol. Ru-kun has definitely given everyone the impression that he drinks/does drugs/sleeps around with a hell of a lot more women than he actually does (or in the case of drugs and women, does at all).

[my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction]

heyy <3

I’ve had this idea about a soft!Nathan Bateman fic and I realized you’re just the right person for it.

On tiktok I’ve seen these videos about this pet watching robot called "ebo" (that most couples have been using to annoy each other)

link

maybe the reader isn't at home but Nathan's busy tinkering away in his office and they pester him with the ebo. Or it's one of Nathan's new projects he's testing and the reader just finds it so humorous. Whatever direction you wanna go in🫶🏾

Ahhhh thank you so much for this ask! ❤️ Oh my goodness, I had such a lovely time writing this! ❤️

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, I can only write soft Nathan because I’m a big softie and am WEAK for this man.

Ebo

Nathan Bateman X GN!Reader Rating: T Masterlist | ao3 | want to be tagged? | request info

Warnings: Typos! Railroad sentences! Soft!Nathan being a big old lovey dovey softie! Please let me know if I've missed a warning!

Word Count: 983

_______________________________________

“Hey, hey, Nathan, hey,” you purposefully move the ebo into his ankle when he doesn’t look down straight away. “Bateman, hey, hey, hey.”

He tuts and looks down, unimpressed. “Can I help you?” He’s hunched over his desk, sitting at what should be the most uncomfortable angle possible as he types. 

“You haven’t eaten in: six hours.” You put on your very best robot voice. 

“I’ve eaten.”

You tut. “You’re a bad liar.”

“That’s not fair, I’m a great liar.” Nathan picks up the little ebo robot and the live camera feed on your screen goes all wobbly for a second. He carefully puts it on the desk next to him and carries on working. 

You snort and make the robot spin in tight little circles. “You need to eat, you know.” 

Nathan sighs dramatically before looking at you, and you can’t help but laugh at his expression. 

“I never should have got you this, you know.” 

You fake outrage. “What could you possibly mean?

He scowls and then to your absolute amusement pokes his tongue out at you before continuing to type.

A small smile spreads on his face as he hears you laugh through the ebo.

Over your time together he’s grown a lot more playful, far more willing to do silly things just to amuse you, your happiness being the highest award he could get. 

You let him work for a few minutes (and actually do some typing yourself) before you start up again. 

“Nathan Bateman, I have detected an error in your system.” You speak in the over the top robotic voice again, while gently ramming the ebo into his arm. “Your energy levels are: looooow. Please ingest sustenance immediately. Or you will: Power Down.”

He pulls a face at you over the top of his glasses. “I’ll put you in a drawer.” 

“You wouldn’t dare.” 

He pauses for a moment, starting at the little robot before he grabs hold of it. 

“Nathan!” 

There is a split second where you are sure he’s going to follow through and do exactly that, but instead he stands up and walks out of the room, holding the ebo in his hands as if it was a pet. 

He makes sure the camera is facing outwards so that you can see where you’re going as he makes the short journey to the kitchen. 

“I can roll you know,” you say teasingly.

“I don’t trust your driving.” Nathan replies, completely deadpan. 

“What? You don’t trust my driving?” 

“Nope.”

“Well, I don’t trust your driving.”

He scoffs. “I can drive better than you.”

“When was the last time you drove and weren’t driven, Bateman?” 

There is a slight pause, but it’s enough. 

“That’s not the point.” He says at the exact same time you speak: “Ha! See!”

You can hear him laugh, the screen shakes ever so slightly in his hands. 

Once he’s in the kitchen he puts the ebo onto the large countertop. 

“Put me on the floor.” 

He gives you another look over his glasses. “I’m not letting you run into my ankles again.” 

“Meanie.” 

He turns away from you, pretending to look in a cupboard, but you can see his shoulders shake a little as he laughs. 

“How is your work going?” You ask as he chops onion and garlic on the countertop next to you. 

“Hmm, okay, I think I’ve found the main error in the code.” 

It’s a little thing, him cooking. But it means a lot. You know normally he wouldn’t bother, when you’re away his eating habits (and schedule) tend to go out of the window. When you’re there he’s usually the one reminding you to eat. Nathan is surprisingly good at caring for people who aren’t himself. 

You know why he’s cooking now and not later; your time difference means that it will be the middle of the night when he should be eating dinner. He’d rather eat with you than alone.

You chat as he cooks, mainly asking him about his work. You purposefully avoid talking about the conference your attending. Even when Nathan asks, you brush it off with a quick ‘it’s okay’. 

You’ll tell him in detail when you get back. When you can annoy him, lovingly, with kisses in between your sentences. When you don’t have to pretend you can’t see that sad look in his soft brown eyes because you’re not there. 

That’s probably the worst part. The fact that he is trying his best to hide how the distance between you affects him. But it’s still written all over his face. 

He stirs the sauce on the hob, taking a teaspoon from a side drawer and tasting it. He hums for a second before adding a little more salt. 

“Hey, I want a taste.” 

Nathan turns to look at the ebo. You think he’s going to say something sarcastic but instead he gets out a new teaspoon (which makes you laugh) and dips it into the sauce. 

He blows on it, holding his other hand underneath so that it doesn’t drip. Steam floats up in rolling waves and his glasses fog up ever so slightly. Before he brings it over to the ebo. 

He holds it in front carefully and you move forward slowly, pretending to take a bit. 

“Hmmm! Tastes good!”

Nathan laughs. And playfully calls you an idiot. 

When he serves up his food, he moves the ebo from the countertop to the table, you do a double take and are very glad that Nathan can’t see you. 

He’s set a mini place next to him, with a tiny side plate of food. He doesn’t say anything, but you can see him glancing at you from under his eyelashes. 

You make the ebo spin around in a circle before moving closer to your plate and making an exaggerated ‘yum’.

Nathan laughs loudly, it’s the best sound in the world.

____________________________________

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[engeorged]

The Birthday Meal: And Many More

Words: @engeorged

Artwork: @badoobers

Dean sat at his table alone. The cool evening air was refreshing after a warm and uncomfortable day in his office. He’d walked past this place twice a day for the last three years and had longed to go inside but he’d could never think of a reason to. Not until today. Although, it wasn’t quite a happy occasion, it was his birthday. Today was the day he turned 30. He had been a bit anxious about turning 30, but that was more down to the fact that he didn’t have a boyfriend and he didn’t own his own place yet. But he was a millennial living in the city, who could afford either of those things anyway? His sadness was more because no one wanted to do anything for his birthday. He’d been dropping hints to his friends for weeks and none of them picked them up. His brother Sam, who normally remembers everything, hadn’t even sent him an offensive gif yet. And all his work colleagues turned down after-work drinks. They never turn down after-work drinks! They’re all basically high functioning alcoholics

He was feeling old and alone and so this time when he walked past the expensive restaurant with the rooftop terrace overlooking the city, he decided to go in. Fuck the expense! You only turn 30 once! He had no hope of getting a table but lucky for him, the snotty maitre-de left the computer unattended for a few moments so he was able to look at the list and blag his way in.

Normally, he would order a salad of some kind and a glass of water, he’d put on a few pounds in his late twenties and being thirty terrified him so he was desperate to loose the pot belly he’d started to grow. Being tall, he carried it well and you’d probably only notice if you saw him at the gym in the changing room, but he knew it was there. But fuck that shit! Tonight was his birthday, he could eat whatever he wanted! He ordered a whole Camembert and a basket of bread as a starter. It was covered with honey and almonds and was exactly what he wanted to cheer himself up. For the main he’d ordered a 16 oz steak with a side of fries, onion rings and corn on the cob, which he’d eaten with extreme pleasure, helped down with a fruity red wine he’d heard someone else order. To finish, he allowed himself a lavish chocolate and fudge invention that two waiters had to bring over for the theatrics to work. He watched as hot caramel was poured over a smooth chocolate dome which melted to reveal his opulent dessert lathered in cream.

Sitting back he enjoyed the view and the full feeling in his stomach. He’d taken a few instagram photos which he’d scheduled to be posted in the morning so his friends would feel guiltiest when they realised they’d forgotten.

Making his way home he began to think about his life. He’d been a big deal in college, the first openly gay captain of the schools team. There was a lot of interest in him back then. He was a good looking guy, dark hair with piercing blue eyes and a jawline you could fold paper on. A lot of male attention, some public and some private. Quite a few girls tried to turn him straight as well, but with no luck. But it had all gone downhill from there. He ended up in an office job in the city after graduating with hopes of doing much grander things but that had been where he had stuck. Maybe now he was thirty he should hand in his notice and go take a night class or something? Retrain as a chef? He fancied himself as a bit of a foodie. Maybe now was the time to do it?

Arriving home, he fumbled with his keys in the lock, the bottle of red having gone to his head a little more that he had anticipated. The lights were off, which was strange? He had programmed his Alexa to turn them on as he got close by? He patted his hand along the wall, trying to find the switch. He makes contact with it and pushes. The room lights up to reveal his brother, flanked by 30 of his closest friends and colleagues!

‘Surprise!’ Balloons and streamers fly everywhere as they all spontaneously burst into a very out of tune birthday song.

His brother grabbed him and pulled him in for a tight hug.

‘Didn’t think we forgot did you dick face?’ He wraps his arm around his beach and messes up his hair affectionately

Dean pulled his self out from his brothers arm and smooths his hair back. ‘No of course not!’ He lies. ‘I knew you’d do something like this!’

‘Well that’s not the only surprise!’ His brother explains! ‘We know you think you’re a bit of a foodie,’

‘Foodie wanker!’ An old team mate yells in the background, to much laughter from several other team mates.

’Well, most of us have brought along a meal which is special to you. Like something we’ve eaten together in the past or something you cooked for us that we liked!’ Sam beamed with excitement, clearly proud of his idea.

‘Ah bro. That’s so lovely.’ Dean was touched at the gesture, but the three course meal suddenly felt very present on his stomach. How much food is there? He wonder.s

‘Hope you’re hungry!’ He brother takes him to the kitchen where there are dozens of carefully and lovingly prepared plates of food all piled up on the counter. Dean’s heart dropped.

One of his work colleagues, Marvin, was the first to approach him. ‘Hey man, Happy Birthday! I can’t stay long cos I’ve got to go relieve the babysitter but here’s my meal. It’s the jerk chicken my wife made when you came round that time to fix our computer! We were so grateful!’ Marv takes a napkin and picks up a big piece of the chicken and hands it to Dean and waits expectantly. Dean remembers the chicken, it was the best chicken he’d tasted and Marv’s wife had sent him home with a Tupperware full of the stuff. He raised the chicken to his lips and took a bite. It was as good as he remembered and spicier! The juices flowed into his mouth as he ate. ‘Mmm, so good’ he gestured to Marv who was waiting for his reaction. He clearly expected him to eat the whole thing so he obliged. Soon the chicken had joined the steak in his stomach, leaving a firey taste in his mouth and his lips burning. Marv clearly pleased shook his hand and left for home. The pleasant feeling of fullness was beginning to take hold. Maybe this wasn’t so bad. Just a mouthful of all these dishes would be ok? He thought hopefully. As long as he could pace himself.

He didn’t have to wait long before a steady queue of people had arrived to wish him happy birthday and explain their food. He soon realised he couldn’t get away with just one mouthful of food. People had spent time and effort over these meals and they were all expectant to see him eat. A thick European stew with dumplings, some belly pork and a home made scotch egg, all decent portions, now added to the volume of food in his belly. A big slice of a home made meat loaf finally pushed him past some barrier, making him feel overfull and bloated. The fullness was no longer a warm gentle experience but was becoming a bit more pressing and much less comfortable. He made an excuse and headed to the bathroom. Locking the door behind him he pulled up his shirt and took a look at his belly. It was very distended and swollen. Pushed out with food and restricted by his belt, which he undid. Angry red welts appeared underneath which he tried to rub away. Looking at himself in the mirror he tried to give himself a pep talk. ‘You can do this, these people love you and have made these meals for you. You used to eat big like this when you were younger all the time. Like a bottomless pit Sam used to say. It’s one night, how bad can it be! Pull yourself together and get back out there!’

He threw some water on his face and went to button back up his pants which wasn’t happening. He looked in the laundry Basket and found some joggers which he pulled on. Not having the pressure round his waist helped and giving his belly a rub had eased things slightly. He moved back into the party and headed for a sofa where he installed himself. He didn’t have to wait long till Bex, his college bestie brought over her offering. ‘These are actual fish tacos from that food truck we visited every time we went out for a night out!’ She explained! Forgetting how full he was for a second he got super excited. They truly were the best fish tacos he’d ever had! ‘How the hell did you get these?’ He asked. Bex smiled smugly ‘I know a guy!’ She said in place of an explanation. She handed him two loaded tacos and sat down, waiting for him to eat them. Dean obliged and took a bite. They were as good as he remembered and didn’t take long to eat. He’d already ignored his ‘just a few bites’ policy but these were definitely worth it. He shifted his weight in the chair as he finished and Sam handed him a beer which he gratefully took. He drank it whilst him and Bex caught up for ten minutes which gave him a little respite.

The next hour, Dean faced a steady stream of nostalgic calorie laden meals. Pacing himself, he managed some chicken panang, a creamy chicken pasta dish, A thick beef dansak, a pile of bbq pulled pork, some sliders and a large slice of chicken and mushroom pie. Everyone had made their dish with love and was keen to see Dean enjoy it. No one offered him a one bite portion, they all dished up a fairly decent taster for him, some were more generous than others. He fell into a sort of eating trance, just nodding and smiling and chewing and swallowing. Mouthful after mouthful sliding into his expanding stomach. Sitting down seemed to help, he was able to prop himself slightly reclined which didn’t add any pressure to the swell, but he was definitely blowing up. He could feel his shirt beginning to become tight around his middle and the relief offered by the joggers was a thing of the past. His ballooning belly was now pushing against the elastic.

A temporary respite came and he took advantage and stood took up for a toilet break. On the way to the bathroom a few large empanadas were literally pushed into his mouth which he obligingly took, swallowing down heavily. Reaching the bathroom he locked the door and leant against it. He pulled his pants down under his growing bulge and peeled his shirt back, noticing he’d popped a button at some point without realising. He belly was rounded out and tight to the touch. Looking in the mirror he saw the damage. His belly was huge, the biggest he’d seen it. He was feeling guilty about being so mean to everyone in his head when he thought they’d forgotten his birthday. And he was very much regretting the three course meal he’d enjoyed a few hours earlier. Without that, he would have still struggled but it would have been a lot easier! He’d have ended the night as he was now rather than what’s to come. He knew there was food he’d not tried yet and there was no way he could turn any of it down. A moment of panic hit hmt as he remembered the photos he’d scheduled to be posted at midnight to make his friends feel guilty. If they went live they’d know he’d already eaten and he would be the one ending up feeling guilty. He needed to find his photo and stop them. Pulling his shirt down was hard so he grabbed a polo shirt from the basket and sprayed some deodorant on. The shirt used to be loose which it definitely wasn’t right now but at least it wasn’t painted on like his work shirt. The joggers had to stay where they were, under the curve of his belly but they were covered by the shirt so that should be ok. He flushed the toilet and washed his hands, grabbing some painkillers for the ache that was beginning to grow in his belly.

Leaving the bathroom he began to look for his phone. He found a beer and swallowed that down, hoping it would numb the pain a little. The belches helped which was good. His apartment was full of people and he was struggling to find it. As he was looking he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned and saw Yolanda from his work beaming holding her offering. A big steaming plate of bunny chow in the traditional bread bowl. She’d made it for him when he started and it was delicious. She handed it to him and gave him a spoon. It was a whole portion. She clearly expected him to eat the whole thing. He reluctantly started spooning the curry into his mouth, it was the perfect temperature and consistency and went down easily into his distended stomach, adding to the swell. She beamed as he ate and so not wanting to disappoint her he shovelled it down. When he’d finished the curry she nodded at the bread bowl . ‘I made that too!’ Proudly. ‘I’m sure you did’ signed Dean as he tackled it. The curry was easy to eat but the bread was now dense and saturated with the sauce. As delicious as it was, it was heavy going and pushing it into his stomach felt difficult. He eventually managed the whole thing, but it left him feeling super overloaded. ‘Thanks so much’ he said, giving her back the plate. She left looking happy and he continued the search for his phone. He found it by the door and belching softly he found and deleted the pics. Phew. That was close.

Moving back into the apartment and trying to stay discreet is difficult when it’s your party and you’re carrying a large food baby round. The bunny chow had pushed him into uncomfortably full and he was concerned about eating much more food. He just wanted to lie down and rub his belly till he fell asleep but that probably wasn’t an option. Sam sees him and heads over. ‘You enjoying the party bro?’ He sees Deans bloated stomach and pokes him in the belly button. ‘Ooof’ Dean wheezes, belching hard in response. ‘Yeah it’s great thanks. I’m so full.’ Sam grabs his belly and gives it a shake, although it doesn’t move that much. Turning to the room Sam announces. ‘Anyone who’s not given their food to Sam better hurry up before he pops!’ Laughing a few people head to the kitchen to grab their meals. ‘Thanks Sam’ Dean says sarcastically and heads back to the armchair to accept his fate. He sits down and makes himself comfortable and just allows whatever comes next to happen to him. The next barrage of culinary memories begins to make its way to him: A bowl of gumbo, a sausage casserole, a pile of samosas, some Chinese dumplings: all become stuffed down into his now substantial gut. Joining the vast quantities of already consumed food. Now it’s the end of the evening, the desserts start coming too, a heavy sticky toffee pudding, an Apple strudel and some delicious cream cakes all end up in his belly. He’s no longer enjoying or tasting the food, he just feels like an eating machine. He knew Sam was joking when he said people needed to get in before he popped but he was now worried that that was a possibility. He stretched stomach was huge and the skin was sensitive and tight.

He looked up and there was no one waiting, he hoped it was over. He looked pregnant, there was no other way of putting it. He gingerly touched the bloated flesh of his abdomen, it was hot and turgid, so full of food. He felt like he’d swallowed a bag of cement which was slowly beginning to set.

Suddenly the lights dimmed and out of the darkness appeared a glow of light. Sam ventured out with a huge chocolate birthday cake covered in candles. The room began to sing to him and he tried to sit up, pinned under the mass of food lodged inside of him. Sam moved the cake down for him to blow the candles. Dean leant to the left to blow and instead dislodged a belch that burst out of him and blew them out anyway! The room went quiet except for a few muffled laughs from the back. Sam covered it up

‘Thank you all for coming to celebrate my little brother turning 30! As you can see he’s very much enjoyed all your food!’ Pause for laughter as the eyes of everyone turned their attention to Deans massive engorged belly. ‘Anyway, let’s hope he has room for cake!’

To Deans horror, Sam cut a huge slice of the decadent cake and hefted it onto a plate which he popped on top of his swollen belly shelf. The room went quiet, all eyes on him as he lifted a bite to his lips. Forcing it into his mouth, the chocolate goodness packed a punch. Rich and creamy. He chewed just a bit and managed to swallow it down but the room was still watching. He relented and began to shovel the heavy cake into his throat, literally feeling every mouthful push his belly out that little bit further. His stomach was so big now the polo was stretched over its surface. A small sliver of his furry belly peeking out from underneath it. But he was past caring about how he looked, he just wanted to be done. The last mouthful was a struggle but somehow he managed it to a big round of applause.

He was done. Finally. Totally zoned out he stayed int he chair for the rest of the evening, all his energy focussed on digesting his food. Sam kept him supplied with beers which did numb the pain of the bloat but probably added to it as well. He wouldn’t have been able to see it but his belly rounded out as the food was redirected round his body. His belly changed from being top heavy to watermelon round in a few hours. As people began to leave, he was able to smile and thank them for coming. In the end there was just him and Sam who had finished tidying up.

‘There’s tons of leftovers if you get hungry in the night!’

Dean jokingly gagged. ‘Don’t talk to me about food!’ He said

‘Holy fucking shits! You really ate a lot this evening man. Your belly is huge, look at it!’ Sam pointed out helpfully.

‘No shit Sherlock!’ Sam retorted. ‘It’s as if someone arranged all my friends to load me up with food for an evening!’ He pulled his polo up, revealing his guy in all its bloated hairy glory ‘look at what you did!’

Sam laughed and leant over to give it a rub. ‘Don’t worry little bro. You’re thirty now! You’d better get used to the spread!’

[twwings]

Big Festivids Recs Post!

Last weekend was the big Festivids GoLive, which meant the release into the wild of 160 brand new small fandom vids (aka fanvids, edits, etc.) Right now the collection's anonymous, but tomorrow is vidder reveals, so I wanted to write up a recs post for some of my absolute favourites from this year's collection. If you know Yuletide, well, Festivids is like Yuletide, celebrating small/weird/underappreciated fandoms! It's an exchange fest, so people ask for the small fandom vids of their heart and, then, receive one.

Honestly the collection this year is SO high quality, you should really go and browse the works yourself in their entirety; there are so many vids that I absolutely loved that I didn't put on this recs list, because I was trying not to get carried away (and also trying to get it done). But just to get you started, here are a smattering of my favourites. I tried to represent a bunch of vid genres and source types here, but ultimately it's just my taste.

RECS RECS RECS!

Andor: Level Up

AHHHH this is a vid about Andor and fascism and collective action and One Way Out and it's so gorgeously done. Perfect song choice, perfect vid, makes me cry and I will rewatch it many times.

Andor: be ready and be brave

Focusing on Ferrix, its history, its people, and its revolution. Absolute chills. Also I'm SO happy whenever I get to watch a vid to a Mountain Goats song.

Mosquita y Mari: como siempre soñé

Such a sweet, soft, slow romance vid. I ACHED for these two. Like reading a 300k slowburn but in three and a half minutes.

Dropout TV: Nothing in my Head

The Dropout TV vid of my DREAAAAAMS! (largely Game Changer but with lots of stuff in there!)

Taskmaster UK: Blood in the Cut

UHHHH. IT'S AMAZING??? It's hot and raw and kinky and hardcore. the vidder has the delicate, precise touch of a bloody scalpel. Yes, this is a vid for Taskmaster, the UK show where comedians do silly tasks. Because yeah, it's that show, but it's also this show.

Slash/Back: Uja

This vidder KNOWS how to vid horror. The way this vid cuts the most terrible images to make them barely-there, more horrifying for being rough slaps against my consciousness . . . yikes. Amazing vidding, super cool and scary, while also maintaining the uplifting, kickass, hopeful tone you want from a collective-action horror movie.

Janelle Monae: I Like That

Glorious, joyful, sexy celebration of being a free-ass motherfucker.

Star Trek: Lower Decks: Hard Times

Boimler vid about how he's essentially a redshirt who is just slightly too sweet to actually die. Absolutely adorable and hilarious.

Woman King: Upside Down

Absolute BANGER of a vid, great cuts, great movement, great character arc and great Dahomey women being amazing.

Romeo + Juliet: Magnetic

We all agree Harold Perrineau is the best Mercutio, SO, with that in mind, here is a flawless celebration of the best Mercutio.

Knives Out/Glass Onion: 'Til You Hit a Nerve

Brilliant comparison vid putting Marta from the first film together with Helen and Andi from the second one, drawing out the similarities and dissimilarities in a visual feast and with a badass powerwalk. Nothing not to love!

David Cronenberg's Films: body

This one is phenomenal. It takes David Cronenberg's entire filmography and condenses it into a vid about all the sexualized body horror. It is deeply horny and deeply disturbing and deeply fascinated by every single finger going into a hole in a body that shouldn't be there. It's soft and tentative and it's very graphic and violent, all at once.

The Wheel of Time: Velodrome

Tower politics and circularity and being bound to one another in every good way and every bad way; what a beautiful vid. I love how this is about a place, and about how that place draws these people together over and over in their shared experience and love and trauma.

The Midnight Sky: The Laughing Heart

Absolutely gorgeous vid of the film to a spoken word + music rendition of Charles Bukowski's "The Laughing Heart" (there is a light somewhere). I have not seen this film but I found this vid deeply moving.

Moby Dick: Queequeg and I

There are four (FOUR!!!) Moby Dick vids at Festivids this year, and they are all amazing combinations of a huge smorgasboard of sources, I heartily recommend them all, but I'll specifically rec two. This one is Queequeg and Ishmael to "Wouldn't It Be Nice" and it is the sweetest queerest thing ever. Queequeg and Ishmael get a happy ending shhhhh they do shhhhh yes this is how it happened they came out of the water they're fine

Moby Dick: a vulture feeds upon the heart forever

This vid is a fucking masterpiece. It is a huge archival multisource Moby Dick vid that weaves all these incredibly different visual together to make a coherent, tragic narrative. And like. The BOOK is not a coherent narrative! This is such gorgeous and amazing fanwork. Don't miss out on it.

Women's 100m Sprinting: Didn't Come to Play

This is GORGEOUS, I don't know anything about sprinting but I know I love these beautiful joyful powerful women running really fast and hugging each other and being amazing. The editing on this is so tight; the vid never stops for a second. Like a sprint?!?!?!

The Golem and the Jinni: סיפור הגולם

This is another book vid, but since this book doesn't have any adaptations, it's using entirely archival source and probably some documentaries and films to construct the story - or, really, construct the vibe of the book, construct the metaphors of the book, and the result is beautiful and powerful and meditative. It's about survival, and making life.

Jesus Christ Superstar: Hope on Fire

This is another umbrella vid, where the vidder is taking a bunch of different productions of the play and mashing them together. This vid focuses on Judas and Jesus/Judas, and it all feels so inevitable and tragic and real and cruel. I really loved it.

Jordan Peele's Films: Goodbye, Honey, You Call That Gone

This is such a wonderful mashup of Jordan Peele's three films, exploring all the parallels and differences and just the rich tapestry of his imagery.

猎罪图鉴 | Under the Skin: Put It On Me

I don't know this source but this was just so gorgeously put together; there's a focus on art and art objects, on hands moving and creating, that's just mesmerizing.

[neuroprincess]

Crying Over Broken Pasta - Melissa Schemmenti/Female Reader

Melissa Schemmenti/Female Reader

Summary: A romantic evening cooking together. Melissa overloaded. Y/N commits the crime of breaking the pasta and things go wrong after that. A fight brings out insecurities.

Classification: Light angst, Fluff

Warnings: Some harsh words, Swearing

Note: Idk, Melissa might seem a little exaggerated in this situation and out of character? But I would be super pissed off if someone broke the pasta, just saying

Word count: +2600

Unrevised

There would be no better date for Melissa than cooking with her partner, the kitchen being a very intimate and important place for her, where she grew up, watched her parents fall in love again and again, made her first lasagna with nonna, had her first wine drunk with Kristen Marie, where she used cooking to take out her daily frustrations. Nothing better than a Pomodoro Penne after an exhausting and stressful day, to forget it all by enjoying the family recipe. But she never considered it a place of romance until Y/N, Joe, although he loved Schemmenti food, never shared this space with the redhead, much less in a romantic way. He ate, he complimented, sometimes he washed the dishes, and that was it. The arrival of this new person in her life also brought her a new vision for the sanctuary, she simply loves to see the girlfriend sitting on the countertops having breakfast, preparing the teacher's tea wearing only short pajamas, almost melting completely when she offers help, either to cut some ingredient or stir the pot. It's just adorable, very special, especially since there are dozens of kisses and hugs exchanged as they prepare breakfast/dinner. This is why, staging a romantic setting, Melissa has prepared the kitchen for the site of a monthly date with her girlfriend. There are fresh tomatoes scattered on the cutting board, bowls full of freshly cut ingredients, the kettle of water boiling behind the couple, while the teacher stands next to her girlfriend, one hand firmly on her waist as the other instructs Y/N how to cut the tomatoes in a correct way.

- Great, amore mio. - she celebrates seeing the little cubes, all the effort was worth it and this would be perfect on spaghetti, she decided to teach the simpler Schemmenti recipes first, hoping it would become a routine couple program - You are a good student. - and left a gentle kiss on the other woman's lips, taking a long time to purposely leave her lips.

- Thanks, Mel. - Y/N laughed, feeling happy and heartwarmed to have such a captivating and patient girlfriend, the task had taken more than five minutes and at no point did she get upset, not showing any irritation - What should I do now?

- The water's already boiled, you can put the pasta in the pot. - the redhead smiles and moves away, making room on the counter to prepare the rest of the ingredients for the sauce. - Meanwhile I'll finish chopping the onion. I should have prepared the pasta, but you know, this week has been really crazy. So we'll have to make do with the store-bought stuff, the fresh ingredients will save our recipe. - she shrugs, taking a sip from the glass of wine she had left there, trying to pretend not to be upset, but feeling guilty deep down for not being able to give her girlfriend the full experience.

- It's okay, love. Seriously, just the thought of tasting your family's sauce makes my mouth water. - Y/N tries to reassure her and walks by Melissa, giving her a half-hug along with a kiss on the cheek - Let's have spaghetti tonight! Made by us!

- Made by us! - this cheered her up again, after all, this dinner has been scheduled just to spend some time together in the kitchen and that's what matters - Amore mio, do you want to wi...? - Melissa turns to ask if she doesn't want more wine and can't finish the word, disbelieving in what her eyes see, the pasta is broken in two in Y/N's hands, that anguishing sound unmistakable for any Italian - What the hell are you doing?

- Putting the pasta in the pot. - she answers simply, not realizing what has just happened, and puts the pasta in the boiling water - Now I stir?

- Yes, you stir. - the redhead controls herself not to sound rude, suddenly very upset and offended by what she has just witnessed. SHE BROKE THE PASTA! And Melissa can't handle it. - It was supposed to stir anyway. - she whispers turning her back, low enough not to be heard, trying to control her own personality in order not to make Y/N upset and sad for cooking the pasta absurdly wrong. But not being able to express herself made her even angrier.

Minutes later they start the sauce when the pasta is ready, Melissa no longer asks her girlfriend for help, putting in and cooking the ingredients on her own, in her own way. No matter how much Y/N offers help every minute, she refuses every time, too focused on not letting her indignation show. She doesn't even respond when her girlfriend appreciates the smell of onions frying at the bottom of the pan, when she is hugged from the side no reaction is shown either, she just rolls her eyes and goes back to watching the sauce.

- I'm ready to eat our spaghetti Schemmenti. - the youngest celebrates, gesturing to the dishes on the table, perfectly presented except for the... incident - Wine? - she offers, shaking the rest of the liquid at the bottom of the bottle, they were sipping until Melissa drank the rest practically by herself.

- No, thanks. I need sobriety for this.

- What?

- Nothing, Y/N. Let's eat. - the two sit down, facing each other, the candle placed there earlier has been forgotten to be lit, Y/N takes a big gulp enjoying the spaghetti, groans that would once have been sinful to Melissa, but now it irritates her. She just stares at her own plate, being sure that her nonna would disinherit her if she ate that.

- Something wrong, love? - Y/N asks, finding her silently staring at the plate.

- Who taught you how to make spaghetti? - the redhead asks rhetorically on automatic, not expecting a real answer.

- A college roommate, I think, I don't remember making it before...

- I get it. - Melissa throws herself back in her chair and takes a generous sip of wine from her girlfriend's glass, sighing. The tension has taken over the environment.

- Did I do something wrong?

- You broke the fucking pasta! - Melissa's voice came out louder than she expected, almost like a scream, and as she gestured with her hands she ended up bumping into the plate, throwing it to the floor, smashing in pieces. - Oh, shit!

- Mel, why didn't you tell me anything? - Y/N asks staring at her girlfriend kneeling on the floor and cleaning the pieces angrily, carelessly - I...

- You don't know how to make a simple spaghetti correctly, that's it. - she rolls the eyes and watches the orange stain start to form on the floor, which frustrates her even more, the night that should be perfect is going down the drain faster than she can keep up with it - You are not from Philadelphia, not Italian and now spaghetti... My family would....

- Oh! - Y/N chokes in realization and looks away, trying not to look at her girlfriend who rubs the floor fervently, knowing that if he saw her in that state any more, she wouldn't be able to stop the tears from falling - I'm going to... I'm sorry. - she picks up her bag from the coffee table and leaves the house, unnoticed by the woman, too busy taking out her frustration on the cleaning to notice.

Walking back to her own apartment, since she is without a car because Melissa used to give her rides from work to her house and from her house to work, Y/N reflects on the night's events, mentally cursing herself for having done that stupid thing, she should have paid attention to the pasta and not taken the easy way out, although she was loving the night, the girl was as tired as Melissa after the school chaos and automatically broke down to save time, without thinking about her girlfriend's culture and much less her reaction. When she didn't show any reaction, Y/N didn't even realize what she had done. She wondered if she should send a message apologizing for the culinary crime or let her calm down first before making any moves, rare were the times she saw the redhead act this way, never a behavior directed at her. At the end of her ramblings she thought it best to give the woman some time to calm down.

And then Melissa's words came into her mind. She had talked about family, about how she is different from everything the redhead expected in a partner, Y/N still remembers the teacher's face when she admitted she wasn't from Philadelphia and had no Italian blood (or just distant family), a smile that died halfway through followed by another that didn't reach the eyes. Still, two months later a relationship began, secret both to her co-workers, except Barbara, and to the Schemmenti. Insecurities began to surface, some that she drowned out so many times so as not to affect the nearly two-year relationship, and some new ones. Several "What if..." took over. What if she is ashamed of her? What if being from Philadelphia is that important? What if dating a non-Italian bothers her? Y/N sighed and decided to try to let go, the tears already dry on her face, leaving a smeared trail of makeup. When she gets home that's the first thing she notices as passing by the mirror in the entryway. And she feels miserable.

The next day, Sunday, she is awakened by the doorbell ringing several times in a row and as she walks to get it she hears the wood being punched, almost getting accidentally punched as it opens. Melissa controls her arm to avoid hitting her and backs away, being very embarrassed by the desperation. Even trying to be rational the fear took over, Y/N hadn't answered any message or call, the redhead is trying to communicate with the girl since the night before, at first she thought it was grief and decided to give her time, but when she didn't get answers in the morning she started to get worried, finally deciding to run to the apartment to check her.

- Amore mio...

- What do you want, Melissa? - Y/N asks rubbing the eyes and then tries to stop Mel from touching her, failing, as she has a thorough check for Melissa to be assured that she is physically okay, she would never forgive herself if something happened to the girlfriend because of her, feeling extremely guilty for letting her go home alone and walking late at night.

- I... I should have come after you as soon as you left our house. - she takes the girl's face between hands and stares into her eyes Y/E/C, noticing the redness and swelling pointing out that she had cried the whole night, she knows this face very well - I made you cry, My God! Y/N, please forgive me. My reaction was disproportionate, there was the stress of school, the kids.

- Melissa... - Y/N quickly corrects herself - Mel, I can't say it's okay, but I understand you. I just didn't realize I broke the pasta. On automatic.

- It's okay, I made a mistake, if I could go back in time I would never say what I said. Nor would I act the way I did. I just wanted our night to be perfect and then everything was going wrong, I was frustrated, I didn't know how to act. - Melissa steps forward and hugs her lovingly, carefully, tenderly, as if her lover were made of glass. And closes the door behind them with a free hand, placing her against the wood, deepening the hug.

- So you're not ashamed of me?

- Where did that question come from? - the girl tries to get out of the woman's arms, but the redhead pulls her to herself again, a confused expression on face.

- You grumbled yesterday about me not being from Philadelphia, not being Italian, and that made me think about it all night. About the secret relationship and the reasons why. - she let the words flow and felt a little more relieved, finally speaking out loud and not in whispers to herself in the middle of the night.

- I was frustrated, it doesn't matter to me, I don't care where you come from and your blood. Well, at least not anymore... - Melissa confesses - If you weren't such a piece of work you wouldn't have convinced me. I'm serious. Forgive me.

- I know... - Y/N whispers and bites her lips, which does not go unnoticed by the teacher - Forgive me for breaking the pasta.

- All right, but I still can't believe you were eating spaghetti like that. You have to roll it on the fork, when you broke it, you can't do that, it's just wrong, unnatural. A crime! - both laugh and Melissa advances a kiss, pinning the other against the door again - I want to teach you again, properly.

- I wouldn't deny it, you're a great teacher.

- Amore mio, does keeping our relationship a secret make you unhappy? Insecure? - Y/N just nods positively and stares at the floor - Then let's tell everyone.

- What?

- We can organize a dinner with my family, formally introduce you to them. - a quick kiss - We cook together. - Another kiss - My parents will love you.

- Are you sure about that?

- Yes, they'll see what I saw in you. - Melissa interlaces her fingers and kisses her girlfriend's hand - And I will officially make you mine.

- Really? - the girl held her breath trying to think about the meaning of these words, when Melissa says "our home" is because she sleeps more at the teacher's house than at her own apartment, there is a space in the closet for her, they even share the dressing table and in the kitchen Y/N has a cup for herself, matching another one belonging to the teacher. But officially making her Melissa's could mean many things, including putting a ring on the ring finger and saying yes at the altar.

- Seriously, I'll make you a Schemmenti, but first you have to learn how to make spaghetti. - they laugh - It's almost noon, sleepyhead. We can try again today...

- I'm not in the mood now... - Y/N caresses the corner of the woman's lips and deposits a not so innocent kiss, pulling her lower lip between the teeth as she finishes, then finds a pair of green eyes staring at her hungrily - We have better things to do now.

- I think I understand you... - she is pushed against the wall by Melissa and feels a pair of hands grab her by the thigh, easily lifting her against the wood while coral painted lips wander up the neck, kissing and biting the skin carelessly, not caring about marks. Not anymore.

  Communicating better was something they both learned from this situation, Melissa hated herself for making the woman she loves cry and felt extremely guilty for every word, when frustration took over she didn't know how to handle it, so it's something she plans to work on and improve. For the sake of their relationship. Y/N, on the other hand, may have learned not to break pasta, but she would definitely come to repeat it if it led to reconciliation sex, which she found to be one of the best experiences. Even though she had to walk awkwardly the next day and hide the hickeys for weeks.

[holdinbacksecrets]

MTL: cliché but who is seventeen would fake liking your cooking if it was bad lol. thank you! 💘

P.S I love you and your writing and your sweet responses to anons. good luck with school💛

i got a little carried away and ended up writing reactions… hope you don’t mind >.< and thank you!! <3

seungcheol: the pause he takes when you ask him how it tastes is all you need to know

jeonghan: he watched the train wreck happen, and the food delivery comes seconds after you tell him it’s not looking good.

joshua: you don’t let him try it. you don’t let him inside your apartment when he arrives 45 minutes early. “you can’t see me like this. it’s too soon. i’ve been practicing for weeks…”

jun: he fell asleep while you were cooking and trudged his way to the kitchen table. oh how the taste wakes him right up, but he keeps eating, trying to pinpoint where you went wrong. he’d help you make it right a few days later

soonyoung: he would tell you, but blame it on the recipe. “it wasn’t you, babe. they probably missed a step or something. i should send an email reminding them how important editing is. who knows how many other dinners have been ruined over this. irresponsible.”

wonwoo: he eats it with a shit ton of rice and downs three glasses of water

jihoon: the face he makes when he sees how bad it looks... he doesn’t even have to taste it to know. the two of you exchange looks in the kitchen before one of you reaches for the house keys. “there’s that place three blocks down with the vines growing up the brick wall we’ve been wanting to try.”

seokmin: he was cheering you on, taking pictures as you chopped onion, saying how proud of you he was until the smoke alarm went off

minghyu: “i want to try again… on friday.” so you know what he does? he makes the exact same recipe in the morning while you’re at work, hides it in tupperware, and pulls it out before you start sobbing in front of the stove. your poor cat apron is covered in sauce. your hair is certainly an ingredient at this point given the nest your bun has turned into

minghao: he waits for you to try it first and studies your expression to gauge the degree of bad he should prepare himself for. dinner is quiet until one of you starts cracking up “jesus christ. stop eating. i love you too much to make you eat anymore.”

seungkwan: “honestly, it’s better than whatever you made last weekend. it just needs a bit of salt. come here, you deserve a kiss.”

hansol: he tells you it’s not very good, but he also recognizes he can’t do much better, so you clink your glasses and enjoy dinner.

chan: he tells you it’s good. he tells you it’s amazing. he eats seconds. he takes leftovers for lunch. 5 months later he tells you it was horrible when you try to make it again

[hils79]

Hils Watches Mysterious Lotus Casebook - Ep 21

So apparently my Ep 20 Post isn't showing up on any of the tags for reasons I cannot fathom. Will anyone be able to see this post? Who even knows.

Yes, call him an asshole. Because that's what he is

Good lord. Qiao Wanmian just explained, quite clearly, that she doesn't have feelings for Li Xiangyi and that the problem is that Xiao Ziji is the one who can't let go of him. Then she explained her disappointment and anger that Xiao Zijin only took on the sect leader job to spite Li Xiangyi and not because he wants to help make the world a better place. Xiao Zijin, after hearing all this: This is all Li Xiangyi's fault

I legit gasped. I get so caught up in the drama of these things. They are definitely doing a good job of framing him.

I thought they were already married? Didn't everyone attend their wedding a couple of episodes ago?

Di Feisheng and Fang Duobing should bond over their love of teasing Li Lianhua about his ex girlfriend

Li Lianhua, who is half dead, slapped Di Feisheng, who is very strong, on the arm. He looks so hurt, and the way he grabbed his arm. He is baby.

I love that he doesn't ask any follow-up questions. 'My idiot twink is crazy, let's go and see what idiocy he's up to now'

This poor sweet boy. He's frantically trying to cure Di Feisheng's amnesia so he can help clear Li Xiangyi's name

LOL

God, I don't want to be there when he finds out just how much Li Lianhua has been lying to him

Oh he was in Immortal Samsara too

So a bunch of unique and interesting men have been invited to an island, they were drugged when they left so they wouldn't know where the place was, and no other men are allowed. Is this like Glass Onion? Is someone going to get murdered? It does feel like a while since they solved a crime

How dare you let a woman bathe you when I, your boyfriend, am right here

[cursedvibes]

What are you silly headcanons/theories?

In general? Hm...

Mahito forced Kenjaku to watch movies with him. All kinds of genres. Romcom, Western, Horror etc. He tested out different things to see what got a reaction out of them, either starting a discussion between them or making Kenjaku launch into one of their lectures. Kenjaku was probably bored out of their mind for most of it, but endured because it's good for Mahito's growth. Thrillers or documentaries are probably very effective in making them engage.

Uraume and Sukuna first met rather casually. Sukuna was just strolling through the woods when he noticed a really tasty smell in the air. Following it he came across Uraume peacefully cooking some stew. When asking what they were cooking, they listed plainly the ingredients like carrots, onions, gravy, human meat etc. He was impressed by that. Later, when he saw them fight, he decided they should stay by his side and Uraume wasn't complaining. (I have a lot of hc/theories for how they might've met, but that's the most fun one I think)

Yuuji spends generally more time with Nobara. Not to say he doesn't with Megumi at all of course, he might often even be there as well, but with Megumi it's more a quiet coexistence, while with Nobara he engages more actively. They go shopping together, where they discuss clothing styles and give each other a second opinion on what they might want to buy. They try on silly hats and glasses, Yuuji helps her bleach her hair (I'd say she does the same for him, but unfortunately his is natural), she reads some articles and advice columns from teen magazines to him and they discuss how much or little that makes sense. It's just a lot of casual antics between them that they don't even really think about most of the time. It just comes natural. That's also why Yuuji feels her absence the most between him and Megumi because that source of thoughtless joy isn't there anymore.

[alexissara]

My Favorite Movies/TV/Anime of 2023

Going into 2023 I've done a lot more taking in art then in previous years and this section is all about the audio/visual/auditory art I've taken in this year and enjoyed. In fact it's a content and clickable top 10 list! Wow so engaging, much content, please enjoy. This is gonna be inclusive of movies, cartoons, anime, TV shows, etc because I don't engage any one of these mediums alone enough to make a nice little list, at least not this year.

These are roughly in an order by how much I enjoyed them but these are different pieces of art that hit you in different places for different reasons and no one piece of art here is like "Better" than the other. Ask me at a different hour let alone day and this list could be all scrambled.

Adolescence Of Utena

So I finally watched some Utena, I mean I watched a little but of Utena before, just a few episodes with some friends but I watched the full ass movie now so that counts for something. The anime is really artful and it's a very compelling queer coming of age story with all the messy trauma and feelings attached. It's a weird movie, a girl turns into a car, and that's amazing, 12/10, another girl can also turn into a car, we're really just living the dream here. Finally true lesbian representation is when a girl can turn into a car and I am here for it. It's a really great piece of art and I am glad to have finally got to take it in and enjoy it.

Glass Onion

So this is probably the biggest surprise on the list for folks who follow me but one of my girlfriends really loves mysteries and so a Glass Onion I did watch with her. It's super funny and fun, it's just good. The cast has good chemistry, the jokes land, the mystery has fun twists, and it's just a good experience overall.

One Piece Film Red

I am not a One Piece fan, I do not care for One Piece, It's like fine Shonen. However, this movie fucking slapped, it was a good fucking time. Uta is One Pieces best character and she should show up and take over the final arc of the manga because she is so good. The music was fucking killer with Ado slaying every single fucking song and it really just hit. Every song is so good on it's own and in it's context. It's what you want from a truly killer musical experience and every song being from "the villain" is just extra fun. The power of friendship and bounds is really great here, it's just good and well animated even if the women all have the same exact body.

Everything, Everywhere, All At Once

I finally watched this movie after all the hype had died down and well, it was worth the hype, it isn't my favorite movie of all time but it's a good movie. It's funny, amazingly acted, well shot, silly and just in general a good time. It touches on a lot of good themes of family, trauma, homophobia, expectations, and parental relationships. I think the queerness coulda been better in the movie and have complaints on how that is displayed here but I mean it was at least a little bit queer and that's more than most movies. As a former actor who really loves the craft I envy everyone involved too for getting to be in such a fun film, I can only imagine what a blast it was to see the final product of what I am sure was a ton of hard work to make something so fun.

Gundam The Witch From Mercury - Season 2 

Gundam ended on more of a whimper than a bang to me. Which is both not uncommon for a Gundam series to have a shitty ending but also not shocking given this series was given it had a much shorter run time. Regardless of me thinking this half of the anime is much weaker than the first half it still undeniably striking in it's animation, stunning visually, engaging to watch with a cast of very endearing characters to watch in the dramatic stakes of it all. The very end was not terrible but the time we spent to get to the final epilogue moments were questionable. Regardless, this show did not kill off Prospera, Chuchu, Secelia or Rouhi and they all were in a lot of these episodes so like an 8/10 cuz their all fucking brilliant and I really like Sulletta a ton too, I am just probably Mio's weakest solider among lesbians preferring my sweet little nervous lesbian settle down with a nice earthian girl or make use of her second hand to be polyamarous.

Kakegurui Twin

I never have and likely never will watch Kakegurui's main series but the twins series female focused cast and yuri energy captured my attention and so I turned it on. Wow, what a fucking ride. This over the top gambling game is Jojo's bizarre adventure, is sports anime, is card game anime, it's the raw spirit of these things radiating in the horny submissive lesbian factory and served back in animated form. The fucking faces these women get to make as they smugly battle in bounts of gambling is just so delicious and the tension they manage to put into each of these games of chance as the fucked up students try and cheat each other and win is just brilliant.

Harley Quinn 

HarIvy is a ship of all time for me, it's hard to have the concept of a show be "HarIvy comedy" and me not to at least kinda enjoy it and I enjoyed it a lot this new season. At the start of the season I wasn't click with it, it felt weird and forced for Harly and Ivy to be placed in these really binary hero and villain roles but in the end that's what it was really about. Neither of them are traditional heroes or villains and the show actually recognized that and let them trying to fit into the strict mold of the universe as an active issue for themself, their sense of self, their relationship, the world and more. From time to time they felt fairly out of character but I am just happy to see this arcs over all themes and the work they put into that.

I’m In Love With The Villainess 

While I would have rather had a tighter pace that went through the first two books of the series rather than one and some tiny jumps into the second book I'm In Love With The Villainess still managed to be one of my favorite things to watch this year with me viewing it multiple times. Rae's Isekai fantasy of being bullied by a hot rich woman and the eventual need to confront her own internalized homophobia and self pity as blocking her path to happiness are fun to see. Rae is really good in the anime adaptation and in it more than any other adaption it feels like everyone is friends and cares about each other which fits the light hearted comedy tone better than the light novels Rae will kill anyone for Clair, she has no friends mindset.

Scott Pilgrim: Takes Off

This was the biggest surprise of the year. I had grown out of Scott Pilgrim, while I was a fan of the comics before the movie was even a thing, I watched the movie before it even released, I even at some point was collecting the colored editions, I eventually soured on the series and sold everything I had of it. I wasn't excited about the anime and felt more like "let it go" then "OMG thing from when I was young" but hearing the good things I heard about it and about the Scott twist along with seeing the great animation in the OP I decided, fuck it why not give it a shot. So I did and wow, it's really good. It's a great take down, commentary, adaption, whatever it is of the original work. It is Scott Pilgrim having grown up alongside me, funnier than ever and a lot better about everything. I really loved all the changes and it still felt very true to the heart of Scott Pilgrim which is messy adults trying to fix their fucked up selves and relationships.

The Magical Revolution of the Reincarnated Princess and the Genius Young Lady

This certainly sits among my favorite anime of all time and very highly if not number one. MagiRevo mastered a light novel adaptations tempo perfecting how to make one season of what would be a nothing slow burn with no pay off at the novel and mangas pace into an exciting action packed yuri with more gay kisses in it than the rest of the years anime put together. It's funny, charming, fun but it also captures some really hard emotions too, I'll never forget the scene with Anis being pressured by old men to have children and stuff and the utter disgust she has at being treated like a piece of meat as she attempts to fill her role to the kingdom. It is devastating and heart wrenching and it just makes all the joy feel so strong.

If you want to help me enjoy more art then consider checking out my Patreon or Ko-fi and giving me a little bit of cash so I can do more of this kind of writing but also like make lots of my own art, art is hard to make and costs money and like maintain my chronically ill and trans body also takes money so anything helps, thank you. If you want more details on any of these I do have reviews for many of the pieces of art above but you can also let me know you want more and maybe I'll write more.

[starryevermore]

sweet memories ✧ benoit blanc

angst city™ library | send in a request (consult request faqs first)

request: Either 3 separate ideas or all together into one: (for Knives out/Glass onion. Any character but probs best for detective Blanc)

● Getting drunk/tipsy and reminiscing their time in their training 

● Blanc (?) and reader on a case and one of them gets severely hurt and it’s a choice of whether they continue to chase suspect or help the other 

● one of them trying to re-enact what theoretically could have happened on a case, person b paying no attention to this, and suddenly person A is in front of them trying different death methods. Someone walking in and being horrified. Person B saying sorry, person A saying it’s normal. - anon

pairing: benoit blanc x male!reader

summary: you and benoit reminisce on your relationship. 

word count: 1,613

warnings?: minor spoilers for glass onion, maybe slightly out of character benoit, established relationship, fluff, gunshot wound, mention of murder, not proofread

Benoit Blanc had not changed much since you had last seen him, you mused. Still had his beautiful, piercing blue eyes. Still had a brain that run a million miles a minute. Still managed to impress you with every single thing he does. It was almost unfair, how perfect the man sitting across from you was. At least he had one fault that you knew of. At least you could still pull out the fact that you’ve beat him at every single game of Clue you played against him. He always hated when you did that, arguing that he wasn’t good at dumb games so it wasn’t fair to keep holding that over his head. But with that sparkling twinkle in his eyes, you knew he didn’t really mean it. Benoit was a teasing man—around you, at least. To the rest of the world, he was the world’s greatest detective. But to you, he was ole Benny, an awkward fella who was a far shout from the greatest at anything. 

“Ain’t seen you in a while,” he said, looking at you over the rim of his glass as he took a long sip of his drink. He set the glass down, smacking his lips. “You solve any good mysteries lately?”

“Nothing as great as you,” you said. “I mean, showing the world that Miles Brown is a complete nitwit? You’re really taking that whole eat-the-rich thing to heart.”

Benoit waved you off, shaking his head. “It was dumber than a game of Clue. Man didn’t even have the ability to come up with an original murder. Stole all his ideas from everyone.”

“Well, look on the bright side. At least you finally won a game of Clue,” you teased, leaning forward, resting your elbows on the table. “Never thought I’d see the day. Someone should put that in the history books, you know. Benoit Blanc: World’s Greatest Detective, Bested by Clue Except for that One Time.”

“That’s a terrible title for a book. Nobody’d pick it up.”

“I would.”

“Probably ‘cause you’d be the one writin’ it.”

You hummed, taking a sip of your drink. “Someone’s gotta expose you as the dork you truly are. Everyone acts like you’re some James Bond type o’ figure. They deserve to know you’re more of…I don’t know. Who’s the silliest character you can think of?”

Benoit hummed. “Clark Kent?”

“I said silliest character, not the character you’ve got the hots for!” you laughed. 

“Oh, come on! The whole glasses disguise? Seriously? No one ever thought, hey this guy looks kinda sorta similar to Superman? I refuse to believe that!”

“Not everyone is as brilliant as you, Benny boy,” you said. You took another sip of your drink. “God, I hate Superman. Remember that one time, when we were working a case together? The jewelry heist case?”

Benoit’s face turned red. He probably didn’t like thinking of that case very much. You couldn’t blame him, if you were being honest. You didn’t like to think of it, either. “You know I could never forget that case.”

“All I really remember of it is bein’ in the hospital. They had stupid Superman movie playing all the time. Man of Steel, or somethin’? I used to like it before, but god, a guy can only watch that shit so many times before it gets annoyin’. I swear, if I see Henry Cavill put on that super suit again, it’d be too soon.”

“I’d prefer to remember it as the day I realized I love you,” Benoit said. 

You let out a laugh. “What, it took me being on my death bed to realize you loved me?”

It had been a complete and utter disaster. It wasn’t often that you and Benoit worked together on a case. But this was a tough nut to crack, so Benoit invited you along, telling the client that if she wanted the case to be solved, it was imperative you be there, too. The client hadn’t really been willing, but recognized she had no real choice in the matter so she bit her tongue. After all, she wanted to make sure she was not the victim in the jewelry heist. 

Things had gone well enough, if you were being honest. After a few false starts and some misleading clues, you and Benoit were close to triumphant. But neither of you could have expected the suspect to have a gun, much less use it. 

He’d been aiming at Benoit. You panicked, your blood running cold. Before you could even think about what you were doing, you jumped and positioned yourself between Benoit and the bullet. It struck you, lodging itself in your side. You screamed as you fell, hitting the floor, hard. 

Pain practically blinded you as you reached up, touching your wound. When you pulled your hand away, it was sticky with blood. You lifted your head, seeing Benoit falling to his knees, his hand covering your wound, applying pressure. You twisted your head the best you could, watching as the suspect ran.

“Go,” you whispered. You couldn’t manage to make your voice any louder. Took too much energy. “You’re gonna lose him. We won’t get another chance like this.”

“I can’t lose you,” Benoit said. 

“I’ll be fine, go get him.”

“Don’t make me leave you,” Benoit whispered, leaning over you, his lips ghosting over your forehead. “I love you. I can’t lose you. I love you.”

“It was an emotional moment!” Benoit argued. “It ain’t strange for things to be revealed in times of high stress, you know.”

“I know,” you said. You reached over, grabbing his hand, giving it a squeeze. “I just hate that it took you so long. To think we might have gotten together a lot sooner if I told you I loved you when I realized.”

Benoit let out a laugh so loud it practically shook the walls of the kitchen. “Oh, come on. At least when I realized, it had a sort of morbid romantic edge. Yours was just me being an idiot!”

“Well, I love when you’re an idiot.”

It was the early days in your friendship. You and Benoit had often worked together back then, honing your detective skills, bouncing ideas off each other. It felt less like a job that way. It felt more like playing a game of Clue (despite Benny’s aversion to the game). In any case, it was more fun that way. Plus, it gave you and Benoit a chance to develop some more unconventional methods of solving cases. Which is exactly what you were doing. 

You and Benoit were working out how the victim may have died. You had narrowed down to a few different murder weapons that might have been it, but you and Benoit couldn’t quite figure out how it had happened. So, it was only natural that the two of you ran through some different scenarios in an effort to narrow some the possibilities. 

That was how you ended up straddling Benoit, who laid on his back on the floor, his hands above his head as if he were surrendering. Your breath caught in your throat at the position. You liked it—you like it a lot. But you forced yourself to ignore the thought about what it may be like if you were in this same position with a little less clothes. You had to remain professional. You had to. 

You raised your hand holding the prop knife, acting like you were going to drive it through Benoit’s chest. As you brought it down, the fake blade pushing itself into the handle, you frowned. This didn’t make sense. The victim had been fighting back, and this position didn’t give much opportunity to do it. “No, I don’t think it was like this. Here, trade places with me.”

You lifted yourself off of Benoit and laid on the floor. Benoit straddled you now. Your breath hitched as he reached down, his hands closing around your throat. 

“The victim had injuries on her hands, like someone’d been tryin’ to pry her hands off of ‘em,” Benoit said. 

“When the killer couldn’t do that, they kneed her in the stomach,” you continued, bring your leg up, pressing your knee into Benoit’s stomach. 

“And then—”

The door opened. There was a shout. Benoit lifted his head, his face tinted red as he looked at the person who walked inside. 

“Oh, god!” the person said. It was your client. Fuck. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean t-to see anything!”

“Oh, it’s not like that!” Benoit said. “We’re just tryin’ to act out the murder!”

You cleared your throat, trying to twist your head to look at her. “Totally normal. All the professionals do it.”

“I-I’ll leave you it then…”

She left as quick as she came, shutting the door behind you. As you and Benoit looked at each other again, you felt like your face was burning. 

“Um, so that seems like it was the way it happened…” you mumbled. 

“Right, right,” Benoit said, getting off of you. “Uh, with that done, we should start narrowing down the suspects, then.”

You nodded. “Yeah. Just give me a moment and I’ll be ready.”

Because, holy fuck, how could you be in a position like this and just expect to continue on as normal? 

“If you love your idiot so much then, how ‘bout you join me in the bath, then?” Benoit asked. “Gets a bit lonely in there, you know.”

Your snorted. “Fine. But we’re not staying there for a week, alright?”

“I’m sure I could convince you otherwise.”

“We’ll see.”

Oh, how you loved your silly little detective.