#go figure i saw a tumblr post and was inspired to write a story loosely based off a fic im working on

[shmaptainwrites]

i think i just wrote a song?

[thomaslightwoodenthusiast]

hey you guys, here is a little something i’ve been working on! it’s going to be quite long so apologies, but i am going to eventually post it on wattpad too! enjoy!

(this piece revolves around thomastair, but is NOT thomastair only. they are going to be the main theme, but i don’t like writing pieces only on a ship. also it’s gonna be good anyways bc it has drunk and pining charles at one point)

A NOTE: i realised there is a problem. if i wrote the entire thing in a tumblr post, it will be far too long. but it also isn’t long enough for a work. i have decided i will upload in different parts. please let me know if after reading this you are still interested! if not, that’s fine and i’ll probably post it to wattpad lol. but i haven’t written in a while now and i am scared it’s not as good lol. anyways here u go

enjoy!

desc: in which christopher decides that everyone needs a pick me up after recent events, and concludes that the best way to do so is to hold a talent show at the institute. what could possibly happen?

———————————

Alastair scrunched up yet another ball of paper and threw it atop the ever increasing pile beside his desk. He had been trying for days- no, weeks now, to write a letter to Thomas. Despite feeling that he did the right thing in walking away, he could not scratch the feeling that he had hurt him. He wanted at least to apologise, and to let him know he believed it was the best decision for them both.

But was it? Alastair could not lie to himself. He did not feel as good as he thought he would. I’m doing this for his sake, he thought. He is more important to me than I will ever be to myself.

“So, what do you think?”

Alastair looked up. He’d almost forgotten about the ‘Talent Show’ Christopher Lightwood was arranging at the Institute. He was actually considering turning up to prove the point that he was not going to accept Matthew’s ill treatment of him, but he had little energy and currently could not be bothered to waste time on him. He knew that Cordelia was going. She and Lucie had chosen to audition together. They were going to act out a scene from ‘The Beautiful Cordelia’, with Lucie as Cordelia and his sister as one of her many lovers Lucie provided her with.

She was wearing his clothes.

“I think you look utterly mad. In a pleasant way, of course.” It was true. Cordelia looked amazing in his clothes. Not as good as he did, but a close second.

“Thank you, oh cheerful brother of mine. Are you quite alright? There is a rather large pile of paper beside you. Not to mention you look as if your eyes have cried the tears of the earth’s oceans,” she replied. There was the usual sibling tone of mockery in her voice, but also a tone of genuine concern. Alastair looked at himself in the window and realised Cordelia was right; he must have been crying, though he had no recollection of doing so.

“I am fine. Go and have fun. You deserve to, after this gargantuan mess.”

“Alastair, I am not stupid. I know when you are hurting. And what’s that on your desk?” she asked. Before he could stop her, Cordelia had made her way across the room and grabbed the piece of paper sitting in front of him. Alastair had not realised it, but he had written a few of his earlier thoughts on the page.

Cordelia frowned as she read out loud, “‘He is more important to me than I will ever be to myself.’ Alastair, I swear on all of the angels if this is about Ch-“

“It isn’t! It isn’t. I...well I suppose it’s just thoughts. Feelings.”

Cordelia was not having it. “If it’s not about him, who is it about?”

“Well, if you want a clue, his friend is the reason I cannot be at all bothered to attend tonight.”

Cordelia thought, and there was a long pause. She furrowed her brow. She seemed to be remembering something. “It’s not...is it Thomas?”

Alastair closed his eyes, as if the name pained him. “How did you guess?”

Cordelia had to admit; she wasn’t entirely sure. But a few observations she’d made over the past months had made her think. She remembered the time on the bridge when Thomas refused to show his tattoo- until Alastair had asked to see it. The time at Anna’s, when she had asked everyone what names they would want and Thomas had quietly admitted he would want only one, never saying who.

The time she and her brother had been speaking with Charles, only for her to notice Thomas had been staring at them.

“I don’t know. Sisterly instincts, I suppose. Do you want to tell me about it? Actually, no, hold on. I will not give you the option. You bottle up far too much, Alastair. Please, pray tell me, what this is about?”

Alastair sat for a moment, unsure where to start. “You remember the day, don’t you? When I defended Thomas in the Sanctuary? It starts long before that; but I fear if I tell it all you may miss out on your night. I had said that I followed him because you were fond of him. That was...” He trailed off. The words were not leaving his mouth. Cordelia smiled sympathetically. “It was only part of the truth. I came to find that I myself was indeed...quite fond of him. And I was afraid that if he went out alone with a murderer on the loose, something would happen. I couldn’t bear the thought of it being my fault; I have done enough damage. When I saw him being arrested I panicked and did the only rational thing I could think of.”

Cordelia raised her eyebrow. “Follow him the whole way to the Sanctuary risking getting caught by the Inquisitor, then further increase your risk of getting caught by sneaking into the Institute and hiding until you were needed?”

“What can I say?” her brother replied, seeming distant. “You do...odd things, when you care about someone.”

“Alastair, you risked your own safety doing what you did as well. I do not know what on earth I would do if something had happened to you without my knowledge.”

“My dear Layla. When one’s heart is so encompassed with love for another, rationality is quite frankly defenestrated.”

“What exactly does ‘defenestrated’ mean?”

“Thrown out the window,” Alastair replied, matter-of-factly. Cordelia moved towards the door of his room, realising she had to leave soon. “I only want to ask one more question. Is Thomas aware of your feelings for him?”

Alastair laughed to himself. “Quite. In fact, in the Sanctuary, I discovered that being held in confinement with someone who is as handsome as he is kind can result in interesting outcomes.”

Cordelia mocked a gasp. “Alastair Esfandiyār Carstairs, did you spend that whole night-“

“Ah ah! An honourable man does not kiss and tell.”

Cordelia’s eyes widened. “YOU KI-“

“Fine! Quieten down, lest mother is given a heart attack! Look, what happened is staying between us only. But I can tell you this; we did have a long conversation, in which he told me that he liked men. He also told me how he had figured that out; turns out that it was essentially me. I was quite shocked, because I thought he was referring to our school days when he mentioned feelings for me. I was, however, promptly proven wrong, shall we say.”

Cordelia’s face burst into a grin, before she sensed there was something else to the story. “Wait. What happened? What did you tell him?”

“You must understand, Layla, I really do care for him. But his friends- they hate me. Matthew cannot even be in the same room as me without hurling an insult. I cannot be with him; it is too complicated. I do not want to break that poor boy’s heart again, not after the Academy. I told him what I just told you, though I fear my last statement may have been too late. The letter you have in your hand and the paper you see on the floor are all my attempts at an apology. I just...walked away. Left him there. If only I had the chance to apologise to Matthew, this could have been different. But he will not accept it. He will not stop hounding me with comments, and I feel as though I can never stop being fifteen years old. I know I deserve better, but it can be tiring to fight when all your life you’ve been at war with yourself.”

Cordelia made a decision in that moment. She looked at Alastair and observed the similarities in how he and Thomas had been acting. Thomas looked a weight had been lifted off his shoulders, only to have one twice as heavy dropped on again. Alastair seemed even more quiet than usual. “You are coming with me. I don’t care when you turn up, you are turning up. I will ensure there is a piano nearby so that you can demonstrate your own incredible talent. If Matthew makes a jab at you, I will take care of it. If these rules are not met, you will be cut to pieces with Cortana. See you there,” she said, concluding her speech and leaving. Alastair watched as she left the house. He felt inspired by what she had said. He realised something within himself, too.

I cannot run from my past, but I cannot be forced to stay in it either. I am worth more than that.

And I’ll take any opportunity possible to make sure Matthew knows I refuse to take it anymore.

[just-incorrect-beastars]

Beastars Fandom Interview!

This post starts a series of interviews I want to make to artists in this fandom! I’m really sorry for the delay with this, but I had to take care of some business irl! The first interview it’s with @dooptown, talented artist and writer of Craving More Than You’re Given, Beasts in The Stars and co-author of We’re Only Animals with @nilesthewhitetaileddeerqueer! Enjoy! If you want to submit other questions feel free to do it!

How did you get into the fandom?

My friend showed me its debut cover on Shonen Champion back in like 2016? At the time I thought the art looked weird so I put it on the backburner. Fast forward to May of 2017 and the same friend started reading it and recommended that I do as well. And the rest is history.

What do you feel about Beastars? Has it improved or not with the latest volumes?

My relationship with Beastars has definitely been complicated. If you go way back on my blog you're sure to find text posts of me complaining endlessly about it because that was back when I thought the whole thing would devolve into a romance story. I saw the romance between Haru and Legosi as forced and shallow (I don't think that anymore, although I do wish it was given more focus so we can really understand it). After the Meteor Festival Arc I got really invested in it, and I believe the Murder Solution Arc is the strongest in the story. The slice of life leaning of Legosi living on his own is really good too. Melon's introduction kind of marked the descent into the Weirdness we're seeing now. I love Melon to bits but the story right now is really weird and weird things keep happening. I still enjoy a handful of the chapters coming out currently, and the last few have been really great, but it's definitely not as good as it used to be. What I crave most from Beastars is slice of life.

Do you have a favorite character?

Overall? I'm not sure. I'll just say it's Louis.

You are considered one of the first Lougosi writers/artists and one of the most looked up to. How does it feel?

While there were certainly a handful of Lougosi fics before mine as well as some art, I do remember that ship being a bit barren when the manga wasn't as popular. I'm not aware of just how influential or far reaching my work with this ship is, since this is the internet and tracking that sort of thing is kind of impossible and I tend to be a bit of an aloof hermit. Knowing I'm relatively well known in a community I care a lot about is a nice feeling, though! But at the end of the day I'm a fan just like anyone else.

How has the fandom changed since you joined, especially since the anime came out?

It has blown up, that's for sure! The tumblr tag for Beastars back in 2017 was me and maybe four other regular posters, and I was the only artist posting consistent Beastars art back then (that I remember) As time went on it definitely gained in popularity, mostly by word of mouth, but even in March of 2019 it had a virtually empty Ao3 tag. So the anime, understandably, launched Beastars into the mainstream (or at least close to it). This is awesome and I love that it's seeing so much popularity and praise! Of course that also brings with it the ugliness of general Fandom Drama. Beastars Discourse is the most unwelcome thing to come of this popularity and it's the reason I no longer track the tag here on tumblr or look it up on twitter.

Your art is very popular. Have you ever thought of making a comic?

I would like to make comics but comic layout is intimidating and so is the whole process. Maybe one day.

 3 fics that you would recommend?

serendipity by elkieistrying

  Want a Haru/Juno story with a nice helping of Lougosi on the side? Serendipity can scratch that itch. Both ships are very well written and I love the characterization so much in this story.

Ashfall by Skeptacles

This fic doesn't seem to have many hits, and I think that's because people are turned away by it being a Game of Thrones crossover. As someone who has never read, watched, or even knows anything about Game of Thrones, I can say this fic is a great read! Skeptacles presents the setting and worldbuilding in an easy to understand way and if you have no GoT knowledge like I do, it simply seems like a Beastars Fantasy story.

To one I am tied, to the other I am true by Sinpie_Senpai 

This was the first Lougosi fic I ever read, and it is the second English Lougosi fic on Ao3. It was very influential to my decision to start writing Lougosi fic, and if you haven't read it yet I think you should.

How much have you worked on merging the manga’s plot and your story for Craving More Than You’re Given?

For CMTYG the merging of the plot just happened naturally. I started it in March of 2019 so at that point Legosi just had his birthday and hadn't seen Louis in a while, so I figured a birthday party would be a good reason for them to meet again. I wrote from there while also paying attention to where the canon plot was going to see what I wanted to incorporate.

You think you're gonna include the turf war in your fic? And are there any new characters you want to include?

Since this story was conceived long before this manga plot started, I won't be including it. Things are going to go very differently. As for new characters, I don't think so.

What inspired Beasts in the Stars?

As for Beasts in the Stars, I've always been a Sci fi fan. This story is loosely based on an AU I made for my OCs back in 2015, as well as some Sci fi ideas I've had bouncing around in my head for years. I can't point to any specific inspirations, but people compare it to Cowboy Bebop, which I can see since both of a laid back hard Sci fi aesthetic. I also write Star Fox fanfic, so I’m definitely using some of my experience from that. 

Legosi in the fic is homosexual or what? What about Louis?

Their sexualities will be explained, but I usually work off my headcanon of Legosi being bi and Louis being gay.

What other characters do you want to include in Beasts in the Stars?

BITS will hopefully include virtually every character from Beastars in some capacity.

What's the difference between writing a story more anchored to the manga and one that isn't?

Writing a fic that's manga-compliant is fun because you have to take into consideration past actions in the story and make sure it lines up with what they're doing in the fic. Of course, there's less freedom there, so that's why writing an AU also has its positives. Using the characters as a base to work off of in a new setting is very exciting.

Any spoilers you would like to share for both of them?

CMTYG: Next chapter is being written, and the summer clothes Legosi pics I've been drawing definitely play a role ;) 

BITS: Next canon characters you'll be seeing are the Drama Club folks. I hope people enjoy how I adapted them for this story.

And this was it! If you are an artist in the fandom and you want to partecipate to this please feel free to write me, I’ll get back at you as soon as possible!

[delimeful]

First time they saw Patton cuddling with Virgil? (Like y’know the energy thing maybe?) Or Virgil protecting the three of them from some other alien?

Okay, now that Making Adjustments is out in full, I’m posting all the asks that inspired me for certain parts or even just to continue writing! Thank you to everyone who sent in ideas/what they wanted to see/theories, I really appreciate it! All asks under the cut!

@ironwoman359 said: I’d be really interested to read about what the first week or two aboard the ship with all four of them was like. I’m sure it was a big adjustment for all of them, and it’d be really cool to see!

@skeletonsloverockcandy said: WINBAR prompt - Virgil’s first night on the ship, is not with Patton, and gets a nightmare. Logan finds him and Virgil has to explain his nightmare/dreams

@the-princey-pie said: Logan mentioned that Virgil would probbaly have trouble fitting through the space ship doors. Now I really want to see Vorgil stepping into their spaceship the first time/navigating it for the first few weeks.

@indigomasquerade97 said: WIBAR prompt. Virgil is Stitch from Lilo and Stitch. You know the scene I’m talking about! ;) Roman is still freaked out with the idea of having a human on board, and one night (maybe on patrol, since he is still jittery from loosing Patton and doesn’t want to loose him - or Logan - again) and he gets freaked out by the nocturnal human suddenly being in the room? IDK

Anonymous said: So. I was wondering for the WIBAR prompts, what was Virgil’s first night on the ship like? How did Roman and Logan act towards him? And is he worried that his relationship with Patton is going to change now that he’s back with his family? Sorry if this is a lot…

Anonymous said: WIBAR prompt idea: Food! Since food is often culturally connected for humans, would it be the same for our alien friends? And if they have any, from Virgil’s pov., strange food items etc. Would be interesting to see considering they are all from such different species. :D

@justanotherpurplebutterfly said: WIBAR: did Patton tell his crewmates how to interpret Virgil’s body language? Did they figure it out for themselves? Did they struggle to remember when they saw him smile or stretch (and make himself big) or something?

Anonymous said: I would love to see some V POV or adjustment period/cultural differences! (particularly L/R’s reactions to V smiling, differences in diet/hunting styles, what V considers a threat vs. what LMP consider threats… anything that highlights the deathworlder in Virg! (Space Australia is like my fav thing that came out of tumblr)) also maybe some more of L/R’s thoughts on Patton befriending a space boogieman?? I really really love this au! :)

Anonymous said: OoOOooh okay how about,, Virgil’s POV as they head back to Roman and Logan’s ship and get on, (and maybe if he doesn’t know the species Logan and Roman are he could ask? That seems the easiest way for us to learn more about the boys without it being too awkwardly shoved in) and V’s probably awkward because he doesn’t know Lo and Ro and Ro’s openly hostile and he wasn’t expecting to go along with them and idk you decide. Also :DD wibar’s not done yet!! Tysm; I’m really enjoying it!

@bishopriecke said: Okay, so I’ve got a couple prompts so I’ll send them separately in case that’s how you’d wanted them? The story is absolutely adorable and it made me think of the sleeping habits back on the ship. There’s space for Virgil, but will Pat gravitate to sleeping with him, since it was such a comfort and Virgil only gets sleepy if he snags energy during cuddles? If he’s tired/virgil’s stressing over something will he wander over to where Virgil is chilling and settle in his lap? How’s Ro&Lo react?

@bumblebeekitten said: Do any of the others attempt to learn Virgil’s language? Or maybe Virgil quietly tries to dispel some of the more hurtful rumors about ‘deathworlder humans’?

Anonymous said: What would wibar Roman and Logan do if they couldn’t find Patton? Would they assume Virgil had done something?

Anonymous said: While waiting for more WIBAR, I keep re-reading everything (Act 1, Intermission, all the world building asks). Right now, I just want to plead with Patton to go find Virgil as he needs comfort, to calmly tell Logan that I don’t blame him, and to hiss at Roman that, while he has had bad experiences and that is valid, he needs to be nicer. Granted, a reaction like that from a human fan-nut probably wouldn’t help Virgil’s case… but he needs a hug so much right now!

Anonymous said: i’m thinking there’s lots of potential for hurt/comfort with this chapter. Virgil’s obviously panicking so i reckon he’s gonna have to try and convince himself that he can trust Patton if not the others. i feel like virgil still wont trust the others but they’ll get to see that he’s not always this big, strong deathworlder and he gets scared just like them. he’s been traumatised and he cares for Patt a lot and theyll try to understand eachother better and hopefully become friends/gain some trust

Anonymous said: that is very much wishful think and a need for my boys to be happy though haha. soz, that probably wasnt very helpful for writing but thats just something i’d like to see happen but i KNOW that whatever you end up writing is gonna be fabulous (ran out of room on my last ask and couldnt even sign it, whoops)

@justanotherpurplebutterfly said: I’m mainly really curious how Roman will react. If he has even have as big of an imagination as buobba Roman then he will probably interpret Virgil’s outburst as a violent attack and try to frame him as a danger they shouldn’t keep on the ship. However if he was able to detect Virgil’s fear then this might be the first step of them growing closer. Idk which I like better, because on one hand I want them to to get along and witness wacky human things in an amicable atmosphere, but on the other hand, misunderstandings are soooo good!!!! Most of all I want Virgil to get a hug though. Poor boy deserves one. I don’t care with who it is, although I suspect it will be Patton because no way the other ones trust Virgil enough and vice versa.

@yalltookmyurlideas said: Haha wibar fears? There are,,, so many. My main fear is that Roman will misinterpret Virgil’s panic to mean he’s hiding something and not see it for the panic and fear it is.

Anonymous said: I was thinking about for WIBAR, are we going to find out more about Virgils life on Earth? Is there angst there or is it irrelevant? Also would Logan and Roman go after Virgil themselves so as not to worry Pat or would they realise this was a situation they couldn’t solve? OR does Roman think V is attacking them and goes to hurt him? Sorry long ask but I’m excited for the chapter 😅😅🥰🥰

Anonymous said: Ayyy super late gang, barely got a hour of sleep bc anxiety/nightmares so yeehaw. I guess for WIBAR, the most essential thing to consider is how you want Making Adjustments to sorta add onto its characters & how they interact. Idk that ofc, but I think the situation is going to resolve into a ‘im only human’ (the irony) kinda situation and the crew (maybe minus patton??) only /starting/ to grasp the human is a bunch of damaged goods who is lowkey more scared of them than they are of he (½)

Anonymous said: (2/2) how i see the situation going down? Depends who finds him. If it’s Pat, he could sing him clam like in the cell. If its Roman or Logan, odds are Virgil’s gonna b scared & his response will be to Fight or Freeze, as he already did the Flight option. Virgil reacting like a cornered animal would be terrifying Ro and Lo. (Also Ro and Lo going to wake up Pat for Human Help has the same vibes of a child waking up their parents to tell them they puked lmao)

@killerfangirl3 said: After where you left last chapter, I am 100% terrified Roman will find Virgil before Patton and cause real danger to everyone. After all Virgil is flooded with adrenaline right now and he barely knows how his strength affects the metal? of the ship as it is. The sudden increase in strength if he was attempting to defend himself could cause him to put a hole in the ship.

@hotchocolatehugs said: Oh! Also, would Virgil calm down if Patton found him, or would it just make him worse/more crazed? I dunno about his state of mind, but if I were in his position I would probably be acting aggressively to anyone who came in. Do aliens have hot chocolate or tea, or some equivalent drink? Because I think Virge needs a calming drink. (sorry if this is too much!)

Anonymous said: I saw your latest post and all I could think about is Virgil stuck on the appliance, really high up and close to the ceiling unseen while he sees Roman and Logan below. Maybe a bit of a language barrier while they say some words that Virgil may not no yet and jumping to conclusions and filling in the blanks in the sentences

Anonymous said: I’m afraid that In WIBAR, Roman may keep Pat from going to find and comfort Virgil and just…leave him up there

@katelynn-a-fan said: Mission impossible theme while looking for Virgil. Too short can’t see Virgil on top appliance. Mission impossible theme continues and fades into the distance. (That’s all I got)

Anonymous said: WIBAR suggestions/predictions/fears: I worry about Roman or Logan finding Virgil before Patton - Roman because I don’t think he will be understanding about how afraid Virgil is; Logan because I think that would scare Virgil more. He might break out of his flight stage into fight, and that could make them fear him more. But, while worry about this scenario, maybe it would be for the best. Maybe one or both need to find him at a low to see that he isn’t a monster, just scared.

@enby-phoenix said:

OK so wibar thoughts! I’m a little concerned that Roman will think that Virgil was genuinely trying to attack him with that chair and also probably trying to hurt Logan, and he’s gonna get upsetti. I also think that the way they figure out what’s made Virgil go all fight or flight will probably involve Logan doing the memory share thing, but it’ll take them a bit to get close enough without Virgil threatening to bite Logan’s hands off.

Also PLEASE let my boy eat a full meal and get some proper sleep!

I would also love to see Virgil curled around Patton protectively but everyone knows that it’s Patton who’s making Virgil feel safe.

Another prediction is that Logan, realizing that SOMETHING bad just happened, and knowing that all his information on humans seems to be incorrect or at least not apply to this one, will go to Patton for advice on what to do regarding Virgil’s sudden change of behavior, and how to calm him down again. Cause Patton is the resident expert on Virgil.

I also imagine that Logan might keep his note taking to himself again for a bit, until Virgil believes that he’s not the bad kind of scientist.

I love that Virgil climbed on top of the tallest thing he could find, and I imagine that if it’s above everyone else’s usual eyelines, they each walk past him multiple times while they’re worriedly searching the ship for him.

I’m mostly imagining Virgil clinging to Patton like a lifeline and the other two aliens worrying for their tiny friend but Patton knows that Virgil is just scared and sings him the “calm down baby it’s okay I’m here” hatchling soothing song until Virgil calms down a little, and then still staying with him while explanations are had. They do not come out of the small space on top of the tallest appliance and Roman doesn’t like that but he’ll deal.

Now that I’m thinking about it more, one of the best ways for Logan to gain (at least a little bit of) Virgil’s trust would be for Virgil to see his honest reaction to what the other scientists did to him. Cause based on what I know of Logan, he would be horrified. And that might help Virgil to realize that Logan ISN’T LIKE those other scientists.

Anonymous said: *gets out the defibrillator to help kickstart the creative juices* At this point Virgil is running on fumes and when the trio find him Patton tries to comfort him. But he’s too stressed and feels betrayed and there’s just too much inner turmoil for him to hold back so he finally breaks down in front of them. Perhaps it’s not Patton that manages to calm him down, but Roman who finally recognizes him as a traumatized person rather than “just an evil human” :D

@enby-phoenix said: tbh Virgil probably hisses at either Logan or Roman at some point and it makes them nervous and confused.

Anonymous said: Roman forcing Virgil down from his hiding spot. 'Blade’ to his neck and tying him to a chair. Virgil thinking that he shouldn’t have run and that they are going to be even angrier at him now, ergo more painful experiments. Begging to be put under for the cutting away and to please don’t get mad at Patton (just in case Patton was trying to be a good friend).

Anonymous said: Suggestion for WIBAR - Roman goes looking for Virgil, all ready for a confrontation. But, when he finds him, Virgil unknowingly makes some sort of gesture that means fear/terror to Roman’s people and he stops and evaluates the situation with clearer eyes. This gives Patton/Logan/both a chance to get there.

Anonymous said: Can we get somr wibar fluff/angst?

Anonymous said: I’m just waiting for WIBAR Virgil to just pass out and the panic of everyone that sees him. Or Roman threatening him or Logan goes to touch him and BAM he’s on the floor!

Anonymous said: Stuff for WIBAR: 1: who’s gonna find Virgil? 2: what’re they gonna do with him? 3: how’s he gonna react? – Options: Patton: tries to comfort him Virgil: can’t decide whether to trust or not, maybe leading to emotional outburst and sad PatPat – Logan: scared cuz danger goblin had an outburst at him. Wondering what he did wrong & how to best proceed Virgil: 'he’s gonna do tests on me’ fight or flight – Roman: 'so, if you hurt my friends imma hurt you’ Virgil: fight or flight – ½

Anonymous said: 2/2 Of course those aren’t the only options, but it was fun for me, and I hope it got creative juices flowing for you as well. I love all your writing, and I want you to know that you can take as long as you need to be proud of your work. It’s okay. And take care of yourself too! You can’t make as good of work when you aren’t feeling as good as usual

[solesurvivorpaigeargot]

Instinctssss

WIP Sampler Basket

[Summary on this one is a re-write of Hancock’s first affinity dialog, within the context of his and Paige’s relationship. I shall post a snippet. EDIT: I attempted to put a read-more in this, but something fucky is going on with Tumblr’s dash rn. Apologies for the long post]

The cork came loose with a satisfying pop, and Paige found the now-opened bottle being offered back to her.

“Everything... okay?” Paige quested gently, hand wrapping around the glass neck. She didn't take a drink though, watching him curiously. Next to him, she saw him both in profile and more head-on in the reflection of the dirty mirror as he turned his attention back to the bag to rifle through its contents. His affect had changed-- he'd been on a grinning high when he handed the whiskey over, but now? His brow furrowed down over dark eyes, and the smile had turned into a pensive, flat line across his face.

“Yeah, yeah, it ain't the bad kind of talk. Just... what went down. I know it was a bit ago, now, but... I guess I just wanna say my piece and get it off my mind. When I sent Fahrenheit down there, I figured someone was gonna end up with a bullet in their head. I didn't like it-- that sorta dictatorial shit, ain't usually my style-- and you got caught up in the middle of it.” He scoffed, shaking his head as his hand emerged from the bag with a tin of mentats between his forefinger and thumb, the other three fingers curled around the long end of an inhaler for jet. “Hell, you managed to talk Bobbi down.” “Wasn't easy-- it could have gone either way; she tried to trick both of us.” Paige noted, finally knocking back a swig from the newly opened bottle-- damn if that wasn't a blast from the past. The taste was different, of course- two centuries of aging tended to have an effect, but she could still recognize the base flavor, and the nostalgia went well with the burn when she swallowed.

“And most folks woulda blasted her brains out for that-- Fahrenheit was ready to, on my say-so.”

Hancock departed from the bureau, snagging the armrest of the nearby chair and noisily dragging it across the patched floor until he could pitch it back, turn it on one of its wooden feet, and plonk it down near the bed before letting himself down into the seat with all the grace of a ton of bricks getting dropped off a roof. He splayed out, elbows out past the armrests and his legs kicked all the way out; heels on the floor and the toes of his boots pointed up and out.

“Guys like me use their sway to do that kinda harm, to folk who don't deserve it... makes me sick.”

Paige had followed after him, bottle in hand, to eventually pass him and put herself down on the edge of the bed. She didn't speak-- she didn't need to. He wanted to talk; all she had to do was listen.

“... hell, that sorta bull's the whole reason I became mayor in the first place.” He continued. “Some ass named Vic ran the town for I don't know how long before that. Guy was scum. Used us drifters like his own personal piggy bank. He had this... goon squad he'd use to keep people in line. Every so often, he'd left them off the leash; go blow off some steam on the populace at large.”

The memory made him angry; he couldn't stay slouched in the chair. The chems he'd picked up got stashed in some pocket inside his red coat as his body came up and pitched forward, and he gathered in his legs to brace his elbows on his knees, hands gesturing along as he recounted the leadership he'd replaced.

“Folks with homes could lock their doors, but us drifters, we got it bad. There was one night, some drifter said something to them. I don't even remember what, but they cracked him open like a can of Cram on the pavement, and we all just stood there. Did nothin'.”

Paige had heard stories like his before-- not exactly the same, of course. No, her stories came from before the bombs fell, when she'd been working public defense-- a lawyer for those who couldn't afford defense in a court of law. Working for those at the bottom of the ladder? Fear was the driving motivation of most things. Fear for life. Fear for family. Fear for oneself. It drove a lot of good people to do terrible things-- all because they were trapped at the bottom of the heap.

She recognized the edge in his voice. It was angry... and ashamed.

“Outnumbered and outgunned, sometimes nothing is the only thing you can do that doesn't get you killed.” Paige noted, softly. “You can't blame yourself for that.”

He scoffed. “You're right... but it was still spineless.” He rebutted, shaking his head. “I felt like I was less than nothing. Afterwards, I got so high, I blacked out completely.”

His eyes closed for a second, as if reflecting back to that exact moment. Maybe he was.

“When I came to, I was on the floor of the old statehouse. Right in front of the clothes of John Hancock. John Hancock, first American hoodlum and defender of the people.” He paused a moment, possibly second-guessing telling the story but going on anyway. “I... might've still been high, but those clothes spoke to me, told me what I needed to do. I smashed the case, put 'em on, started a new life; as Hancock.” The name was practically growled out-- there was weight to it for him, even now. “After that, I went clean for a bit. Got organized, convinced Kleo to loan me some hardware... Got a crew of drifters together and headed out into the ruins, started training. Next time Vic's boys went on their tear, we'd be ready for 'em.”

“Guessing that was one hell of a negotiation with Kleo.” Paige posited with a faint smirk. “You try to charm the bolts off of her?”

He blinked, and actually let out a faint laugh that interrupted the gravity of the story he'd been telling. “You'd be surprised how quick she warms up to someone who knows how to work munitions into sweet talk... plus she didn't have any love for Vic's crew-- not that it's my story to tell.”

“Still, it's smart; gather up support, make allies, get armed, fight back... Vic may not have been the British Empire, but sounds like you got the right kind of inspiration going.”

“Right?” There was a note of relief, at being understood. “Same wavelength-- justice for the oppressed.”

“So you got a militia together.” Paige encouraged. “What came next?”

“We waited for the next time they were gonna go through and raise hell-- night of, we all got loaded, let Vic's boys get good and hammered, and burst from the windows and rooftops where we'd been hiding. They never even saw it coming; we didn't have to fire a shot. We didn't have to, but we sure fucking did. It was a massacre. Once we'd mopped up, we strolled right into Vic's quarters in the statehouse, wrapped a rope around his neck, and threw him off the balcony.” He straightened up, recovering from the slouch he'd been holding for the majority of the story so far and letting his hands hang between his thighs. “And there I am, gun in hand, draped in Hancock's duds, looking at all the people of Goodneighbor assembled below. I had to say something-- the first time I said 'em? They didn't even feel like my words: Of the people, for the people... it was my inaugural address. Became Mayor Hancock of Goodneighbor that day. And from then on, I vowed I'd never stand by and watch. Ever. Again.”

Paige was quiet for a moment, considering the story, sensing it as he looked to her for some kind of assessment or reaction-- or maybe just an opening to ask questions.

“Vic woulda shot me for not killing Bobbi.”

He blinked. Another beat of quiet, as he considered that.

“... yeah, he woulda. Or worse-- you're too pretty to just shoot...” He made a face, not elaborating on that particularly disgusting thought. “You got a point, though. I ain't Vic... just didn't like that what I did made me feel a little closer to him; sitting up in the statehouse and deciding someone's gonna die who might not have fully earned it. Getting innocents caught up in the crossfire who definitely didn't.”

“You were worried you'd become him... is that part of why you decided to go with me? Climb back down and remember what it was like to look up at the balcony, rather than stand on it?”

“I ain't really the ponderous type.” He reminded her, picking up that smirk of his again. “When an instinct takes hold, I listen. This time around, instinct said I should join up with you... seems it was a good one.”

“Maybe your instincts are just a sucker for a pretty face.” Paige suggested with a sly smile of her own before kicking back another swig of her whiskey. “Or is it just girls with hardware?”

“That would explain why I bet on Kleo.”

[captainkippen]

Hi Aaron, I read your writing tips tag & found it really helpful, but I was wondering if you had any other advice for me. I used to write original works years ago but I lost a lot of motivation & stopped. Recently I've thought about getting back into it, but this time trying to write fanfiction as well. I've never written fanfic before. How do you come up with ideas and, more importantly, share your writing & open yourself to critique from others (i've never shared my writing publicly before)?

Hi, Anon! First of all, thank you! I'd forgotten all about that tag. I'm glad it's been useful for you!

Loss of motivation is tough, and getting back into the swing of things can be difficult, but it's never impossible as long as the desire to write is there. Good on you for wanting to get back to it and I'm excited for you to delve into the world of fic writing!

Brainstorming ideas

Music

To answer your first question, there are a lot of ways I personally come up with ideas. First and foremost for me is music, I like to sit down with my headphones in and let my thoughts wander while I'm listening. A lot of inspiration can come from lyrics, or from the tones of songs, and sometimes even just letting yourself drift results in ideas popping into being. That's not for everybody, but it definitely works for me.

Imagery

Another is imagery. Try looking at Pinterest or on other social media for pictures that might give you a spark. I like looking at specific aesthetics I enjoy and building scenes in my head from there.

Prompts

On Tumblr, or even just googling, you can find a lot of writing prompts which might give you a start for ideas. Try looking at those, or even asking people you talk to for prompts, and use it as an exercise to see where you end up.

AUs & Borrowing Storylines

That might be a misleading subheading — I'd like to clarify I do not think you should commit plagiarism. What I do mean is, when it comes to fanfiction at least, a lot of stories are borrowed from books and films. Sometimes it's fun to write an AU based on a romcom or a fairytale, in a lot of fandoms you can find a 10 Things I Hate About You AU, and as long as you're using your imagination (not copying the OG source word for word) and clarifying that your story is loosely based on something else that's fine!

Many fics are set in AUs (alternate universes). You could try looking at types of AUs and seeing if any of them spark an idea for you. AUs are the best thing about fanfiction in my opinion. Ranging from Canon Divergence - set in the canon universe but taking a different course of events according to the writer - to Coffee Shop AUs, they give you a lot of scope and room to breathe. You can have fun with AUs, and the best part is that, even if someone else has already written a particular AU, fanfic readers are always hungry for more. I'd once again like to underline the importance of not plagiarising — stealing other's work is not cool. There's a line between taking inspiration and straight up copying.

Looking For What's Missing

I would have a think about the kind of fics you love to read, and ones that you haven't yet seen in the fandoms you want to write in. If there's a hole you think needs filling, especially if it's very niche and just for you, then go for it. Be the one to bring that story into being. It's a great feeling.

Research & Artefacts

I've found in the past that looking at specific objects or events can often inspire ideas. Say I had a tin of tea, or saw an old sign on the road pointing to Polperro, I might decide to look into the history of those objects and find myself several hours later up to my ears in research on the tea trade of the 1800s or Cornish smugglers. Researching things that catch your interest is a great way to develop new arenas, characters and narratives in which you want to tell your stories.

Have a look for news articles or interesting nonfiction books you have lying around and flick through them, they might contain that first spark of an idea and lead you down that research path for yourself.

Writer's Notebooks

Leading on from that, the next thing I would recommend for generating ideas is writing things down. Ideas will pop into your head more than you think and it's important to get them on paper (or in the notes app on your phone - mine is an absolute mess) because you never know when two ideas might link and turn into a full story.

Another way to use a writer's notebook is through observation. Go out and pay attention to your surroundings. Make notes on any people, places or events you come across which catch your interest. This way, if you're ever stuck, you have a bank of inspiration ready and waiting.

Sharing Your Writing

Offering up your work for others to read can be really nerve wracking. I'm doing my MA in Creative Writing and I still find it downright terrifying to share my work with my classmates, however critique and feedback are really useful tools for developing your writing skills.

I like to think of my fics as writing practice. When I publish them, the feedback I get is helpful in figuring out any chances I need to make to the story or to my style. The best thing about fic readers is they're generally very friendly and understanding. I find that focusing on that fact makes me feel a little more confident in posting. This confidence will help you develop your original works too, you'll be more open to sharing with others and getting feedback. It's especially interesting to share with other writers when developing ideas because sometimes you just need a different perspective to bounce your thoughts off.

Taking that first step and hitting publish is the most difficult part, but once you've done it once it gets less scary. My advice to you is just to write something that makes you happy, make sure it's edited to a readable standard (I am often guilty of giving up and pressing publish without giving it a second glance, sorry guys, you don't want to be me with this), and it's something you want to share. Having other people read your work and talk to you about it can be really fun, you've just got to dive in headfirst.

This answer for away from me a little. Anyway, thank you again for your kind words and I hope my advice is helpful! Enjoy your fic writing endeavours, wishing you the best.

[ngame989]

I'm new to writing fanfic, and always work solo, so when I saw you have a whole team at your disposal, it blew my mind. I've got a list of questions about that: 1. How did you guys find each other and get started? 2. How does your work flow look for a story vs. a page/chapter of the comic? 3. How much do you love having an editor? 4. How does your work change from draft to final? 5. The quality of your prose is very consistent, is that just you as a writer, or is it your team keeping you good?

1. Seddm, EA, and Dino were all good friends of mine from the fandom from before or during Season 3 (I started watching the show between 2B and BFM). Toxic started watching the show sometime in late 2018 and messaged me on Tumblr for some sort of formatting help, or tips and tricks for getting posts more noticed in the fandom or something? I don’t remember and Tumblr DMs are awful to navigate, but we quickly bonded over what really matters most.

Lawchan had been a longtime follower of the show and fanfic author who inspired me to get into it back after 3A and we started talking and became friends at some point in the last year or so. BMC popped into my askbox when I opened it up to headcanon suggestions and ended up sending me over 100 in a span of 3 days that were all wonderful and creative so we started talking more. This really is a “team” in a loose sense, I just have a ton of awesome and creative and supportive friends willing to help out with this.

Oddly enough, this project started less than a day after (and was inspired by) Lake House Fever. I had already been thinking about getting back into fanfiction writing after S4 ended and we were pissed and salty and just needed good Starco thoughts so I hit him up and we started chatting and thought “huh wait a Star and Marco section of a family photo album would be a cool concept for some sort of series” and it evolved from there. We’d planned out a lot of the basics for the comic before the show ended and were waiting on the canon resolution before going any further, and Cleaved shook a lot up for what the postcanon status quo would be, so my whole aforementioned group all sat in a Discord channel on and off for literally 8+ hours the day after Cleaved and roundtable’d the entire backbone of the Earthni timeline for almost every major character (so if there’s people in the credits for TGG that haven’t shown up directly in any works yet, that’s where they contributed).

2.  Overall I’m the project lead and head writer so the majority of specific ideas, what should this page have or where is the story going, etc, come from me although anything we do gets signed off on by at LEAST me, Toxic, and Seddm first.  For comics, I usually plan the concept (Star goes here, these people are talking to each other, happy or sad, etc) and then let Toxic do his thing - he’s great already but is SUUUUUUUUPER amazingly wonderful at reading my mind and making visuals that represent my thoughts even better than the visuals in my head for them. He’ll do a rough page layout and sketch, we workshop that, then he does line-art, we look for any issues or revisions there, then he colors as I make the dialogue.  Usually takes a few days of back and forth.

Honestly my workflow for writing fics is absolute ass and you should not learn from us (ESPECIALLY me) if you’re getting into the game, hahahaha. Every day that I say I’m gonna write something, I usually end up dicking around at my computer until 1 AM and THEN decide to write a little bit and lose sleep over it. A lot of Glow was written between 2 and 6 AM on a Saturday night. I’m ridiculously nitpicky of my own work and half the time before I even finish typing a sentence I’m already erasing it because I decided it was dumb or did something wrong, which makes drafts take F O R E V E R, but the silver lining is that my first draft is already very polished by the time it’s done.

Overall, we play to our strengths - Seddm and I are general idea guys, “wouldn’t it be funny/cool if X” or “we should tell a story about Y” etc, and Toxic is especially wonderful at coming up with fantastic visual designs or gags or whatever else. So there’s plenty of times where I’ll give him the rough outline for a comic page and he’ll slip in some goofy background thing that makes it so much better, or I’ll give him a joke idea and it’ll work amazingly. I also like to call Seddm my “internal debate moderator”. When I’m struggling to figure out what to do for something, I’m often torn between a few ideas. Getting outside advice on it can obviously be really helpful, but there are times that it leaves me even more confused about what to do. But because my and Seddm’s understandings of the characters and senses of design and humor are so damn similar, he can basically serve as both a neutral voice and still part of my own thought process at the same time, which really helps me get my own personal ideas in order before running them by others.

3. Editors are great and wonderful and perfect and I love my friends to death for graciously helping week in and week out with this when I ping them with “hey guys shat this out, sun has been up for an hour so im gonna go fucking die now bye”. As stated earlier, perhaps my need for one isn’t AS high because I self-edit so compulsively as I go, but it’s soooooooo easy to get caught up in your own head and intentions and not spot obvious issues with your own writing that outside voices help a ton.

4. Whoops I guess I answered already. Very little.

5. Given that edits don’t change much about the structure of my writing, I guess it’s me - thanks! But my team is great about keeping me in line with my own vision in editing and hitting any lines that just seem out of place. There was one particular cut line in Glow that I won’t post here that was easily a full standard deviation of naughty greater than the rest of the fic’s tone (unintentional, it was very late -_-) and that got caught and shot down real quick lmfao.

[anonthenullifier]

About Me

So I was tagged in different about me games by @multifandommiscellany​, @her-storybooks​, and @scarletxvision​ (thanks for the tag!), and figured I’d just combine them all into a big one instead of doing separate posts. 

ONE: Name/Alias - Kat

TWO: Birthday - May 31st

THREE: Zodiac sign - Gemini

FOUR: Height - 5'2

FIVE: Hobbies - Reading, writing, playing strategy boardgames, hiking, baking, and co-op video games. 

SIX: Favourite colours - Deep purple and red. 

SEVEN: Favourite books - This is a big question...My top three (in no particular order because the order changes based on my mood) are

Lords and Ladies by Terry Pratchett

To Say Nothing of the Dog by Connie Willis

The Martian Chronicles by Ray Bradbury

EIGHT: Last song I listened to - Third Eye by Florence + the Machine

NINE: Last film I watched in theatres - a double feature of The Lion King and Toy Story 4 

TEN: Inspiration for muse - This is a very good question. I love learning, so I read a lot of scientific articles, blogs, and wiki pages for fun, so I get inspiration from that. I also find lyrics from songs can lead to story ideas. I also draw a lot of inspiration from my own life -- whether that be experiences I have had or theories and issues I learn about for my job. 

ELEVEN: Dream job - I am extraordinarily fortunate to say that I recently landed my dream job --  a tenure-track position that is nice balance of teaching and research.

TWELVE: Meaning behind your URL - When I started leaving comments on AO3, I always used Anon because I was too lazy to figure out a name. So when I needed a name for AO3 (and then for Tumblr), I stuck with Anon and then added the Nullifier to it because 1. Anon was already taken and 2. nullification is a legal concept I find really fascinating and to nullify means to invalidate or reduce to nothing. Essentially I am doubly anonymous as Anonthenullifier. 

Nickname: My parents, much to my chagrin, still call me Katie-bug. That’s it, that’s my only nickname.

Gender: Female

Where I’m From: U.S.

Dream Trip:  New Zealand

When I Made This Account: May 2017

Why I Made This Account: I was a lurker on SV tumblrs since AOU and saw someone post about there being a Scarlet Vision Exchange. I decided that I wanted to participate and so I made a Tumblr account. Turned out it was an old post from the previous SV Exchange. Which then led into Anya hosting an SV Exchange because we had both joined Tumblr at the same time for the exact same reason and dammit, we were going to have an Exchange.

Hogwarts House: My spouse (the HP fan in the house) swears I would be a Ravenclaw but the Pottermore sorting quiz put me into Gryffindor, it was suggested I take the version with all the questions possible from Pottermore and I am now a Ravenclaw. .

Favorite Animal: Um...this changes frequently. Currently it is narwhals.

Followers: 612 incredibly awesome people!

Last one...

Rules: Bold everything that applies to you and tag ten people you’d like to get to know

I’m over 5’5” // i wear glasses // i wear contacts // I have blonde hair // I prefer loose clothing to tight clothing (for shirts, anyway) // I have one or more piercings // I have at least one tattoo  // I have blue eyes // I have dyed or highlighted my hair // I have gotten plastic surgery // I have or had braces // I sunburn easily // I have freckles // I paint my nails // I typically wear makeup  // I don’t often smile // I am pleased with how I look // I prefer Nike to Adidas // I wear baseball hats backwards

I play a sport // I can play an instrument// I am artistic // I know more than one language // I have won a trophy in some sort of competition // I can cook or bake without a recipe // I know how to swim // I enjoy writing// I can do origami // I prefer movies to tv shows // I can execute a perfect somersault // I enjoy singing // I could survive in the wild on my own // I have read a new book series this year // I enjoy spending time with friends// I travel during school or work breaks  // I can do a handstand //

I am in a relationship // I have been single for over a year  // I have a crush // I have a best friend I have known for ten years (twenty years...holy shit, never actually calculated it before) // my parents are together // I have dated (married) my best friend (not the same as the knowing for 20 years best friend) // I am adopted // my crush has confessed to me // I have a long-distance relationship // I am an only child // I give advice to my friends (only when asked)// I have made online friends // I have met up with someone I met online

I have heard the ocean in a conch shell // I have watched the sunrise // I enjoy rainy days // I have slept under the stars // I meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me // I enjoy the smell of the beach // I know what snow tastes like // I listen to music to fall asleep // I enjoy thunderstorms // I enjoy cloud watching // I have attended a bonfire // I pay close attention to colors // I find mystery in the ocean // I enjoy hiking on nature paths// autumn is my favorite season (but I hate pumpkin spice stuff...gross)

I can fall asleep in a moving vehicle // I am the mom friend // I live by a certain quote // I like the smell of sharpies  // I am involved in extracurricular activities // I enjoy Mexican food // I can drive a stick-shift // I believe in true love // I make up scenarios to fall asleep // I sing in the shower // I wish I lived in a video game // I have a canopy above my bed // I am multiracial // I am a redhead // I own at least three dogs

I never know if people like to do these or if they’ve been tagged before. So I am going to tag a handful of people and you are welcome to do all or some of these or none. If I don’t tag you but you want to do it, please go ahead! @chestnutbrumby, @my-name-stitch, @artemisegeria, @rachelillustrates, @theskyismadeofpenguins, @thegeekunlisshed, @always-untilstarsburnout, @magistrate-of-mediocrity, @dianaggv

[101flavoursofweird]

Hmm I noticed in your fanfic “Life’s a Journey” you cut out the chapter about Des giving Kat a wolf and then switching it out for Ernest. Is there any reason for this? I’m just curious lol. But anyway I love your work and hope you have a great day

Hi, sorry I’m late getting back to this! Thank you for reading my fics :D 

I’m sorry for removing that part of the fic so suddenly, and the part about Kat and Co at the beach. Each oneshot was was originally inspired by the ‘30 Day Layton’s Mystery Journey Art/Writing Challenge’ organised on Tumblr back before LMJ even got released. Altogether, I only managed to write something for six of the prompts lol. It was quite difficult to write about the game when there was so little information about the new characters or premise available at that time. Alas, some of my theories for LMJ were relegated to AUs, including my hope that Ernest could be Raymond’s grandson. (We actually saw a portrait of Ernest’s real grandfather, Maximilian Richmond, during the final case.) And then Desmond didn’t even get a cameo in the game!

Long story short, I went back and edited Life is a Journey with everything we’d learned from the LMJ game and the anime, like the canon character ages, so it fits more with the canon now. (Between the game and the anime, even Level 5 can’t decide what’s canon at this point, but I tried my best.) Surprisingly, most of the oneshots I did still fit within canon with only a few tweaks. I guess that’s one plus of not seeing many of the old characters in LMJ.  

I wanted to make a series of loosely connected LMJ fics. These would focus on older characters who haven’t made an appearance yet - like Flora and Alfendi, Kat’s SIBLINGS. (Here’s Autumn)

Then there are the current characters and events in the anime that I really wish would receive more attention. Like the Relic Stones and Layton’s reasons for pursuing them… and for leaving his kid-daughter behind. Does he think Kat is a reborn Aurora? There’s also Luke and Marina*s’ relationship and just Older Luke in general. If you’d like to read some melodramatic angst and fever dreams from Luke please check out Blue and Do apprentices dream of Azran sheep? 

Aaaanyway, sorry for using your ask for a promotion, Anon! I really do still like the ‘Ernest-is-Raymond’s-grandkid’ theory and Disaster Uncle Des, so I’m going to republish that oneshot as its own AU thing. I haven’t posted anything in over a month, so thanks for that

(*I know we might be getting more on Marina in the next Relic Stone episodes. I’ve seen a couple of theories she could be a mysterious hooded figure… which I’m all for. Please, Hino, just give her something.)

[eggutamaplz]

Unbelieveable (Original Story)

So even though I haven’t gone on Ao3 in a really long time, I have been working on school and other personal projects...

And that includes a genderbend AU.

Yup! I've been currently writing a story that centers around a genderbend classic adventuring party AU based on this post. Because it does not belong to a fandom, I can't post it to Ao3, but it is available on my Wattpad! Without the "behind-the-scenes" background inspiration on characters, this can be seen as an original story on it's own! Yes, I am aware it's spelt wrong, but my friend Megan, who I'm collabing with on this fic (she's going to make art and animatics with VOICE ACTING from our friends! It's so exciting!) is the one who named it, and so the series is named that way forever I guess. I've decided to post it here to Tumblr as well. I hope you'll give it at least a little skim!

Series Summary

Briana is tired of the life of a princess, and wants to go on adventures sailing the vast sea. One night, she gets the offer along with her two trusted knights and a group of her friends from a mysterious drunk who claims to be a pirate... Join a "band" of adventurers as they set off into a journey filled with comedic moments, treasures, and ships... of both kinds!

Genderbend/Classic Adventuring Party/Pirate AU featuring friends. Roles of all the characters in the story will be explained as they appear, and loosely based off a zodiac textpost. All roles explained in the first chapter. Characters involved in the story: *Names are listed as "genderbend first name, last name, (irl person first name)". Evan Maldo (Emma) Mason Shen (Megan) Kaleb Ung (Kayla) Ashley Khon (Asher) Erica Ai (Eric) Briana Min (Brandon) Aden Daniel Bale Chan (Belle) Nicholas Ye (Nichole) Hannah Chu (Hansen) Sabrina/Sabi Cusainovic (Sebastian/Sebi) Carlos Obrusnik (Carmela) Anthony Carillo (Anna) Kaden Vasquez (Kassandra) Brenda Lee (Brendon) Created 09/04/17 in collaboration with dis_lazy_otaku.

Chapter 1: The Royal Ball (Briana's POV)

"And I present to you, Princess Briana of Uminami!" Hundreds of individuals in attendance bow or curtsy in respect as I enter the ball room. Straighten your spine, smile, greet other attendants, act like the princess that is expected at a diplomatic ball, blah blah blah.

No thanks. I'd rather be with the pirates.

Externally, I am that perfect princess. Briana of the royal Min family and crown princess of Uminami. But internally, fuck all of that. I want to be Briana. Just Briana. No royal duties, no "suitors" to be married to (almost all of them are dickbags anyway), no titles. No connection to the royal family, because frankly they pressure me on my future as a "princess" and it's not like I'm already pushed to the brink with all my studies as it is. I make my way over to a corner in the ballroom where no one really goes to. Others have said it has this weird dark aura that radiates depression. I find it the best spot in the vast area where I am trapped tonight, because everyone avoids it. I want to be free from all this, free to do whatever I want. Fuck hierarchy. Fuck the law. Fuck this b- "Hello there miss." I look up to see a prince with dirty blond hair, blue eyes, that one hairstyle I've deemed "The Fuckboy Haircut™", and a suit decorated with medals and pins. He probably bought them to make himself look good. In summary, I could already tell this guy was a total douche. Fuck the external perfect imagery. "I was wondering why what a wonderful lady such as y-" "Yourself is hanging out in a shady corner all by herself, yadayadayada. Go away, I've heard all this before," I say, quickly shutting down the dickbag prince and giving a death glare. "Aw, c'mon sweetie," he said back, "don't say that to Prince Quincey, future ruler of Uminami." My cold stare intensifies. "How about you go marry some other princess who actually falls for your shit so called 'flirting techniques', because it's not going to work on me buddy. So final warning, back off." Can't this guy seriously take a hint? I think. To be safe, I look over to my most trusted knights, who are standing guard not too far away from me. They catch my glance, nod, and silently march over to me, ready to back me up. Prince Quincey, however, does not notice, and I can clearly see the annoyance in his eyes. "You know, a princess should not have such a filthy mouth," he says while slowly invading my personal space. "But no matter. It'll be even filthier when you su-" His advancements are stopped with a quick kick in the shin from my foot. I was aiming for his genitalia, but it'll do. "Princes like you are such hypocrites. I told you, final warning. Next thing I will kick is your ass out of this castle and Uminami if you do not cease your behavior this instant." "Why you-!" Prince Quincey snarled. The look on his face was hilarious. "I'll show you who is dominant in this society." He stepped dangerously close when two swords blocked the distance between me and him. "Huh?" Quincey said, stepping back when he saw Kaleb and Evan, my guards who I mentioned earlier, as well as some of my closest friends, cross their weapons in front of me. "With all due respect, your majesty, the crown princess of Uminami does not appreciate your unauthorized advances," Kaleb said, his voice dangerously low. I could see his jaw clench. Evan slowly stepped towards Prince Dickbag, sword poised to strike. "Rest assured, Princess Briana could probably take down your prideful gait in a flash, as I am eyewitness to that. If were not for her being a representative of her kingdom, you would already be out cold." His face laced with displeasure and anger... his trademark "Angry Dad Glare™", as we called it, had resurfaced once again. He held up his sword to the prince's neck. "She has said it twice, she does not have to say it again. Step. Away. From. The princess." Quincey faltered, fearful eyes darting from Evan's sword to his face. Then he sneered. "Now, I remember you. You're Evan Maldo, that commoner that always snapped at me and my comrades. You disappeared from my kingdom a while after. Glad to get rid of scum like you." "Hierarchy does not determine purity of the heart and soul. Maybe you could learn a thing or two if you actually paid attention to your royal studies." Evan's face remained unamused and stony, his voice steady. "I will warn you one last time to step off, or I will show you how this commoner became a royal knight." He pressed his blade closer to the douchebag's jugular. "May I also mention I know the places where a body bleeds out the fastest?" Prince Fuckboy whimpered, then stepped back, tripping and falling on his ass. "My father will hear about this, and there will be no trade deals with our kingdoms!" "For what," Kaleb growled, stepping forward. "Making unwanted advances on a princess, getting shut down by her and her guards, and then taking the defeat sorely? Not a good image for a future ruler." By this point, nearby attendants have their attention over to our fight. They watch as Quincey storms back into the crowd, oohing at the event of him being ridiculed by me and my knights. I then silently walk away from the corner and outside the building, Kaleb and Evan by my side. As soon as we are out of sight, Kaleb hugs me from the side, worry laced in his features. Evan turns and grips my shoulders tightly. "I swear to God, Briana, did that ass of a prince try to hurt you in any way possible because if he did I swear I'll-" "Okay Dad, calm down," I reply laughing, using Evan's nickname amongst my friends. Evan is a person who is extremely loyal and fiercely cares for comrades and close friends, so much that we ended up comparing him to an ideal father figure, and it's been that way ever since. I can see why he became a knight, and if he does become a real father in the future, he'd absolutely raise a great child. "You witnessed what happened, and you stepped in when he crossed the line. I'm fine, don't worry." "Okay, good." He lets go of my shoulders. Kaleb still hugs me. Despite his armor, his hug is enjoyable, the cool metal soothing compared to the brief excitement. "Princess Briana? Sir Maldo? Sir Ung?" A voice calls from behind us. We turn to see my father's messenger. Oh no. "Princess, why are you outside of the castle? Your Majesty has called for you three in his study. It seems you have caused a stir in the ballroom?" My eyes widen, and so do Kaleb's and Evan's. We turn to each other, knowing what a summon from my father to his study ensued. Oh crap. TO BE CONTINUED...

Characters introduced: Briana Min, Princess of Uminami. Tired of royal life, wants to be free from the castle walls. She constantly dreams about running away from the castle, living life at sea where her kingdom was built around. Her favorite places in the castle are corners where she can curl up and sit there. Briana is able to play a clarinet, and is also learning how to play a tenor saxophone. Is constantly accompanied by her royal guards and friends, Evan and Kaleb, of which the latter she has started to experience strange feelings?... (Virgo) (Person based off of: Brandon, Clarinet-senpai) Kaleb Ung, royal knight and guard of Princess Briana. Dedicated to his country, and even more so to the Princess he's sworn to protect, he became a knight through the ground up. Kaleb met Evan through knighthood training. Both were assigned to the princess, and is close friends with them as well as several people throughout Uminami. He also has a knack for drawing, and is able to play trombone. Has seemed to have feelings more complex than just friends to the princess?... (Taurus) (Person based off of: Kayla, Trombone-Kohai) Evan Maldo, royal knight and guard of Princess Briana. Hailing from a family of medics in a farther kingdom, he trained to become a knight from a younger age, but still picked up some first aid, as well as a little bit of healing magic?... As a commoner training for knighthood, he was constantly ridiculed for his bloodline by the higher classes, especially the royalty; however he was moved to Uminami where he met Kaleb, as well as more people whom he became close friends with. Accepted as the fatherly within his friends, he is affectionately called "Dad". Evan is fiercely protective and loyal to friends, as well as incredibly empathetic. (Taurus) (Person based off of: Emma, or me lol)

Thanks for reading! Constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated!

[tellerford13]

MO ASTOR- CHAPTER 25

We don’t own the bikes, brothers, or any “related” Sons of Anarchy, trust us, if we did we wouldn’t have the time to write. No money is being made from our stories. So, please don’t sue. It’d be a fruitless endeavor indeed. That being said, Harley, Journee, and any other newbies are ours, and we don’t share. :Whispers in creepy voice: “My precious.” The universe This reality is a mix of cannon, and our own ideas. We strive to keep the boys cannon, but since we will be shifting around some of the events, that will reflect in our writing and their personalities as well. It’s our goal to provide you with quality fiction, and solid, fleshed out OFC. We appreciate constructive criticism and love LOVE reviews, they are a writers life blood and definitely help encourage us and inspire us. We will be posting on our Tumblr where we’ll have fun pictures from time to time as well. http://tellerford13.tumblr.com We’ll also be taking requests for one shots, preferences or imagines for all things Sons at our other Tumblr, so check it out and send your thoughts!http://tellerford13oneshots.tumblr.com/ And just for fun, we’ve decided to start a Pinterest for the story! So if you want a glimpse at our girls and see into our world, check it out! https://www.pinterest.com/tellerford/

A/n: Thank you all for the incredible support you’ve showed us. Telford’s birthday rocked and she thanks you for the kinds words.

                                           Mo Astor Chapter 25

Lee

My phone rings and “Thank you for being a friend” plays, making me squeal. She’s here!

I hit answer. “You’re home,” I breathe the words like a prayer. There’s so much I want to tell her, hear, and discuss. It’s been hell having her away while my worlds completed shifted.

“I am. Why aren’t you here?”

“Because you have a husband now. You two need time to settle in and continue your honeymoon over the weekend before its time to head back to the daily grind.”

She snickers. “You’d be the only one who thinks that. Jay ambushed me and talked me to death on the way down, and then Gemma demanded we show up at the family dinner. So, get your ass over here we need to talk.”

“What about Chibs?” I ask. The last thing I want to do is make him feel ignored or disrespected. Journee and I together, are a lot. We practically have our own language, and it leaves plenty of folks feeling left out. “He took pity on me and went to say hi to the boys at the club.”

“Say no more. I’ll be there in five minutes.”

I’m like a teenage girl on her way to her first slumber party as I stand from the couch, grab my purse off the table, and rush to my car. We’ve both had so much happening in our lives. It’s time to get caught up and reconnect. She’s as much my anchor as Charming, and the Sons are. There’s power in loyalty and familiarity.

I crank the engine and all but peel out the driveway. I whip into her driveway and pause. It’s no longer her house. It’s their house. My best friend is a married woman. Mrs. Journee Telford. It’s funny…I can remember her writing that name in an elegant font in notebooks and on a countless number of loose leaf pages when we were teens. Who would’ve thought we’d end up here one day?

From the minute they admitted their feelings they’d moved at hyper speed. It’d be too much for anyone else, but with these two it made perfect sense. Why beat around the bush when you’d been putting in all the work for years.

The only thing that had kept them from being an official item before was labels. There had been many nights when I saw Chibs leave her room in boxers and a t-shirt, and the look in their eyes never screamed just friends.  I’m over the moon for both of them, but it’s a dynamic change I’m still feeling my way around. I’ve never had much reason to spend a ton of time around Chibs, and I’m waiting to see what kind of husband he’ll be.

Some men like to keep a woman mostly to themselves. I wouldn’t blame him if he did. They have a lot of time to make up for. Still, the thought of losing my best friend in any way sends me into a slow panic. I push the door open and climb out walking toward the door as I try to outrun my fears. I’ve been left alone so many times in my life, I’ve almost come to expect the relationships that mean the most to me to eventually end.

The door opens, and we hug. Her scent is familiar, and her embrace is tight. My anxiety eases back. This is Journee. She’s never let anyone come between us. Why would now be any different? Because he’s her dream come true. She pulls back, frames my face and brushes our lips together. I hum.

“Well, hello to you too, beautiful.”

She smiles. “Those pretty blue eyes are looking stormy. Come in and talk to your Journee.”

“Are you still mine? I think your husband might disagree,” I say playfully.

She studies me in that scary calm, still, way that makes one feel like she’s peering into your soul.

“Me belonging to him now doesn’t and never will make me any less yours. After all, we’ve been through together, the bond we have is unbreakable. If you’re worried about things changing, don’t. I talked to Daddy about this early on.”

“You did?” I whisper humbled by the actions she’d taken on my behalf.

“Yes, babe. So stop worrying.” She frowns. “You don’t seem like yourself.” She wraps an arm around my waist, and we head inside. She closes the door, pauses to enter the alarm and leads us to the couch. We sink onto the cushions and curve into one another.

“Spill, babe.”

“You’re supposed to be telling me all about Scotland.”

“And I will, right after you tell me what’s got you so antsy.”

“There’s a lot of changes happening, and we both know I’m a creature of habit,” I say glumly.

‘Uh huh. And this has nothing to do with the little head to head with Wendy.”

“Ugh, Of course, he told you.”

“Yeah. I heard his side. Now I want to hear yours. Are you okay?”

I sigh and glance up at the ceiling. “She’s right. I mean, no we weren’t fucking around behind her back, but if I was her, I’d be pissed. We’ve been so busy with our own happiness. We didn’t give a second thought to hers.”

“Ugh, Stupid bitch is still fucking shit up.”

“Down Mama Telford. I know she made the mistake of touching your man, but she’s also knocked up with Jax’s kid. We have to tread lightly—.”

“No, you need to set boundaries and figure things out before this kid comes and she runs or does something else equally stupid. J was all she had. When you came out at the wedding, the last of her hope was stripped away. That puts her in a dangerous place.”

“Shit no wonder she came out breathing fire.”

“That girl slept, ate, and lived, Jax. Even I can admit he was wrong for doing her the way he did. He had a loyal woman. Just because she let him walk all over her didn’t mean he should have. But that was the old Jax.”

Her words hit home as they line up with the same things swirling in my brain. “You see the change too?”

“Yes, thanks to you. You’ve always challenged him and forced him to be a better person. A man who thinks shit through and remembers his humility. Now that you’re together that effect increased tenfold.”

I sit up and lick my dry lips. “I see someone I know, but then don’t when I look at him these days. I was worried maybe I was projecting.”

“Oh, no, you got that boy sprung.”

“What?” I chuckle.

“Oh come on, he makes cow eyes at you.” She blinks slowly and widens her eyes making me giggle.  “He does not.”

“Oh, My God Are you kidding me? He thinks you’re sexy, he wants to date you, he wants to marry you,” she sings.

“Thank you Miss Congeniality,” I say already feeling lighter.

“Look, I’m just calling it how I see it.”

“Right.” I shake my head as I wipe away a tear.

“Feeling better?”

“Much.”

“Want to tell me what had you uptight?”

“How fast this is all going. I don’t let people in like this, but he was already behind my walls, and now he’s infiltrating...” I trail off unable to speak the words out loud.

“Your heart?” She says.

I nod my head.

“Trust me, babe. When it’s meant to be, and you’re with the right person, it won’t matter how much time goes by. This isn’t a bad thing.”

“Yet,” I say quietly.

“Honey he’s not like any man you’ve ever been with. So, stop comparing him. He’s always been there. Why would he not be more committed now?”

“Because this shit never ends up well for me.”

“Do you remember Kyle and the various men who came before him?” she asks.

“That’s different.”

“Why?”

I shake my head unable to answer her.

“We both deserve to be happy. We have our wounds. They’ll lead to doubts, and us picking ourselves apart until we don’t know which way is up and which is down. But we’re lucky because we have something most people don’t.”

“Oh yeah, what’s that?” I ask

“Each other. I’m here to tell you I refuse to let your past ruin your future. Search your heart and your memories. Would Jax even start this with you if he couldn’t see it through?”

I shake my head. “I don’t think so.”

“You know he wouldn’t. My brother is many things, but being reckless with his girls isn’t one of them, and I’m not talking about the warm bodies who’ve played placeholder in the role of girlfriend. I’m talking about You, Gemma, and me.”

I sigh. “It sounds good logically. But.,,” I shake my head.

“We’re far too used to pain and disappointment, but this is our time to be happy. In no universe would I find everything I ever wanted and you not have the same thing. Our worlds are connected.”

“I’m so fucking scared. He could break me. I always hold back with men. I can’t with Jax, and that terrifies me.”

“That’s how you know he’s the one,” Journee says as she squeezes my hand.

“After everything happened with Wendy, he left. I know he needs space sometimes, but it scared me.”

“You know I won’t share his thoughts. That’s his job. But I can say this. You’re not the only one who’s scared. This is new to him, and he’s trying his best to rise to the occasion and be what you need. It’s a learning curve, for both of you.”

“Why the fuck do you make it seem so easy.”

“Cause I’m outside of it, not in it, and I know you both.”

“What the hell am I going to do?”

‘Sit back and enjoy him slaying the dragon for his lady fair.”

I huff.

“When the time is right you guys will find your comfortable spot. Both of you are complex people. It takes time to get through all those layers and wade through those crowded heads on your shoulders.”

“Fuck you’re already old, married, and wise.”

She shoves me, and I laugh as I chew on what she said.

“Seriously, though. I appreciate your input. I’m going to… quell my stinking thinking.”

She smiles. It was an old phrase we’d both adopted from my Gran.

“Good. Did I help some at least?”

“You helped immensely. Thank you for helping me walk through it. Enough about me. I want to hear all about your trip.”

“Fact number one, Filip is a fucking beast in bed. That wedding night was no one off.”

I can’t help the squeal that leaves me lips. “Are you serious?”

“Me and my Kitty are dead serious. I can’t even walk right.”

“Wait. You’re serious.”

“Umm. Yes.”

“Well, now I just have to see it for myself.”

“Lee,” she whines.

“Nu uh. Get your ass up and walk for me.”

“So demanding,” she says with a wink as she eases into a standing position.

The pronounced hitch in her giddy up has me giggling on my back on the couch.

“No sympathy!” She flings a pillow at me, and I clutch my stomach.

“I’m sorry. It’s too good.”

She rolls her eyes and I sprawl out on the couch and blow her a kiss.

“Since you’re here, you can help me with this slide show I have to put together for Ma.”

I shake my head. “She couldn’t wait to get all her children together again.”

“Typical Gemma. Tell, don’t ask.”

“Hope your old man knows what a crazy family he married into.”

“He has one of his own.” I listen as she launches into her tale about his nephew Padric and his mother, Chibs’s sister, Greer. I tear up when she tells me had a chance to speak with his daughter and how they’ll keep in touch now.

I wonder if she realizes she’s given the man everything he could’ve wanted.

[tornrose24]

Only a Voice part 9 (A Moana fan fic AU loosely inspired by the Little Mermaid)

In which Moana finally meets Tamatoa. Also I posted ahead of time because it was Tamatoa tuesday.

Note that this can also be found on fan fiction.net under the name HolyMaiden24

There was a dark laugh as a cloaked figure stood behind the writer who was tied into a chair. Strings of pearls and rope were tied around her wrists to the rests and she stared at them in confusion. “See, I can’t take any chances with you like with your precious readers.” The figure reached out and rested his hand’s on the writer’s shoulders. “Consider yourself lucky I didn’t do anything worse.”
“Uh...” The writer frowned at the ‘binds’ “I know this isn’t as bad as decapitation by the moon from Majora’s Mask but this is just awkward.” She cringed “Seriously, string of pearls for rope? Ugh, and then I keep forgetting that you’re a Disney character, which makes this a lot more weird.” The figure laughed. “In a good way sweetheart!”
“What happened?!” The writer demanded. “I thought we had a truce! And I feel betrayed!” She frowned as a genuinely hurt look was on her face. “I mean, I thought we were becoming friends! And why do you call me ‘sweetheart’?” She asked. “In fact, why did I write out that you would call me ‘sweetheart’ that one time?” “Oh you mean the A/N version of me?” The figure laughed and the writer shot him a confused look. When he pointed, she turned around to see another version of Tamatoa in the human form she imagined him and he was also tied up in a similar (but more sparkly) manner. “I took care of him too.” He added. “Explain why there was a version of Maui’s little friend playing video games and also knew who I was.” The A/N Tamatoa asked her in an annoyed tone. “And can you explain WHY I’m a human?” The writer groaned. “Oh this’ll give me and the readers a headache with the reviews.”

“Well, off to pay a visit to the little human.” The cloaked figure laughed at the readers before looking at the writer. “By the way.... I realize you’ve been trying to restrain yourself from me despite allowing my other self to give away love to the readers. I understand why, you don’t want to be THAT kind of fan.” “No, I am not THAT kind of fan and I am aware that you aren’t MY kind of guy, even if I do like characters like you.” The writer snapped before she realized something. “Wait, what did I just say?” The figure laughed as he patted the writer’s head. “Oh you silly little human, I know you can’t resist me.” He then went off. “Have fun with the denial.” The writer just stared in dumbfounded disbelief before staring at the A/N Tamatoa. “He’s... kidding, right?”

My sadistic side really enjoyed this chapter. Now I’m not trying to make enter an angst phase in this story for the heck of it. Imagine being a teenager who is going through a really difficult time, in addition to having to deal with a lot of pressure of the difficulties of adulthood and that is the painful reality that is happening here. It was also interesting for me to do something new and explore the other sides of such issues within the family and how these events are effecting them, but of course this is a story where things are about to get MUCH worse. Speaking of which... As stated before, I wanted to keep the description of Tamatoa’s human form to a minimum, with the exception of a few key details. This is so that you, the reader, can envision your favorite humanized version since there are so many awesome ones out there to use (I know I have mine on tumblr and deviantart (also, its under the name tornrose24 if you need to take a quick look), but I’m curious to know which version you opted for in the reviews). Of course there was one thing I had to include in his description no matter what because I don’t think Motonui would be an easy place to maneuver around without it (especially without a walking stick). Yeah, sorry about that. So I did some alterations to some recognizable songs. The first song might be unfamiliar because I changed most the original lyrics but if you know the song Suppertime or its reprise from Little Shop of Horrors...well, you’ll see. (it’s one of the best broadway songs in my opinion, not to mention downright creepy). And in case a select few of you are wondering, no I didn’t use ‘Goodbye Moonmen’ from Rick and Morty or ‘Mermaid’ from Flight of the Concords as fitting as they would have been. Sorry. :(

Chapter 9: The lure of the Siren When night came there was a strange quietness upon Motonui. Even the sound of the ocean in the distance seemed to have dulled down to the point that its calm nature was missing. It was only if you were more aware of your surroundings that you would notice this, yet most of the villagers were in a hushed excitement for the visitors that would come tomorrow and the fun that the events would bring. Only a select few dreaded the day that was to come, yet one resident held a special kind of fear for her role. Grandma Tala finished her drink in silence before turning to see her granddaughter huddled under the protection of the tapa that depicted Maui in all his fierce glory. She had her head bowed and her arms were drawn into her body as her arms were around them in a tight grip to the point that she looked like an unmoving rock. Her injury was cleaned, treated, and bandaged up, but nothing could be done to fix the pain within the girl. Pua sat by Moana’s side and looked up at his human friend with sorrow and whined as he wished there could be a way to cheer her up but he didn’t know how. Tala sighed as she set the drink down. She would not let her son be anywhere near his daughter for the time being as there was too much anger and heartbreak for them to be in each other’s presence. Normally she would be more than happy for Moana to come spend a night with her, but this was not a happy visit. “I don’t think I can smile when I dance.” Moana finally spoke in a pained voice while she was still curled up. “I can’t think of a reason to. Not after what has happened.”
Tala wished that she could posses all the knowledge of the world, for sometimes there was no true way to comfort someone so that they could be happy before the sun rose up the next morning. She knew that feeling when her husband died and it took awhile for her to smile again, but she knew that what Moana was going through was something entirely different. Her soul had almost been crushed completely when the boats were about to be destroyed by her father’s hand and she was going to lose a friend as a result. Worse yet, she had to experience the pains of not only growing up, but the heavy burdens she knew her future would bring in her role as a leader. “I saw you leave Motonui on that boat, but I did not say a word about it.” Tala finally spoke as she tried to find a way to help the girl. “I could not see you clearly but I could feel your happiness as if you were beside me. I had prayed that the gods would make that dream come true, and they did.” “But now its a tainted dream.” Moana looked up and revealed how utterly miserable she was as well as a slight redness in her eyes from crying. Even now it looked like she was trying to hold herself together. “I thought this would be the best day of my life, but when I remember what happens after I go back to the island, I’ll always remember how badly it ends. Even the best part of today had to be taken away from me by father.” Moana let out a small, bitter sigh. “I don’t think I’m meant to have happiness.” Moana confessed. “I’m always kept from the things I want more than anything and if I get one taste of it then I’m punished for it. If people try to help me, then they get punished. And now I am expected to play a part and smile and dance as if nothing happened.” She closed her eyes. “I feel like I’m suffocating because I want to be a leader for my people, but I don’t think I could be able to live up to their expectations. I don’t know if I’ll ever find a husband that I would like or if I’d even be able to have a child to continue the line when that day comes. I’m drowning and this time there is nothing that can pull me out or save me.” “I’m scared, Grandma.” Moana looked at her grandmother with quiet despair in her brown eyes. “I’m scared because I will always have to make sacrifices whether I want to or not. I can’t make my own choices because its like fate has something in store for me and I don’t know if I want it. I don’t know if I can wear a smile for a mask for the rest of my days.” Tala stared at Moana before she took a breath. “So you think you don’t have a choice in what you say?” When Moana shook her head, she continued. “Sometimes there is no telling what the world wants us to do or what fate has in store.” Tala told Moana. “We can’t change the past and we can’t always correctly predict the future. We can’t decide to be born into the life we find ourselves in, and the given circumstances limits our options, but we do have a choice. We can chose to stick in the same spot forever or we can get up and try to move on. You can make the most of what life offers, you can fight your way out, or you can let someone else decide your path. You can stay on this island or you can leave–” “I can’t!” Moana cried. “I can’t abandon my people and yet I–!” She gave up and sighed. “Not a lot of people in my life have ever considered what I want, especially considering who I’m destined to become. And yet, of all the people who gave me that freedom to have that one day to be out at sea was someone who could have easily taken it away from me. Someone who took a serious risk for my sake.” “Ah yes, the one who cannot speak.” Tala smiled knowingly. “But why would you think that way of the one who you tried to get away from through trickery and who you could not stand? I thought you regarded him as arrogant and–” “He is!” Moana confessed as she threw a hand out. “And he treated me like a bratty child when I acted like one! Yet–” She dropped her hand as she thought about her friend. “The more I spent time with him, the more I could really see him. Arrogant, smug, and a bit of a trickster, but...” She pondered over her words as well as the man on her mind. Had her opinion of him changed that much? “He went against father’s wishes to make my dream come true and I can’t think of too many people who would be willing to do that. It took me awhile to really know him, but I could see someone who could be fun, reliable, incredibly daring, adventurous, and determined. Someone who listened and who didn’t treat me like a Chief’s daughter, but as a regular girl, and was willing and patient enough to teach me all I wanted to know. There is more to him and I want to know more about him, like what he used to do. If I could have another day on the sea with him, I would take it in a heartbeat and not just because it would mean that I would have that day on the sea once more. And if it was in my power, I would do anything to pay him back for all he did. I’d even give him his voice back if I knew how to do it.” And in truth, she almost wished it were possible that he could stay in her life a little longer or at least that he could come back to visit her. If he was to leave her life forever, she doubted that she could ever forget him that easily. “And its all my fault that he’s going to be sent away.” Moana sighed. “For all he did, he gets banishment as repayment and I can’t do anything to stop it or say goodbye. I don’t think I even gave him a thank you hug in all the time I knew him.” Come to think of it, did she ever have a chance to do that? She verbally thanked him, but she never expressed it in the gesture that would have meant so much more and would tell him everything that she would not be able to say. Tala frowned as she thought some things over. “Would he be worth defying your father?” She finally asked. Moana looked up in confusion as Tala added “Some people and causes are worth defying all odds. Some sacrifices are worth making and no matter how large your foe may be, you can overcome them by being your true self as well as being true to yourself. Remember what I said about having a choice?” Moana was about to ask her grandmother what she really meant when they heard footsteps coming towards the fale. Afraid that it was her father, Moana hurried to one corner of the room while Tala got up with her cane and went to move the entrance aside. “May I speak with you alone?” It was her mother and she sounded desperate and lost. “Its about some things that happened today.” “I will in a second.” Tala nodded and walked to Moana where she knelt beside her. “Remember, if you really don’t feel up to dancing tomorrow, you can always claim illness at the last moment.” Tala whispered to Moana. “It works every time.” She then raised her voice as she got back up. “Would you like me to bring anything back? Some fruit perhaps?” Moana shook her head before turning to Pua. “I’d like to be alone for a bit, Pua.” She told him. “Could you go with Grandma?”
Pua was reluctant to do so, partly because he didn’t want Moana to suffer alone, but also because he sensed that there was something wrong in the air. It was as if there was a strong force, like a large amount of mana that was compressed all together and stuffed into a coconut shell that could barely hold it in, but it wasn’t comforting and he had no idea what it was. “Please?” Pua reluctantly left Moana and followed Tala out of the fale as his concern for his friend won over his concern for the strangeness in the air. He hoped that Moana would have some time to clear her thoughts before they got back. Moana watched as Tala and Pua left and she could see a row of torches outside that illuminated the black darkness in their welcoming glow. When the entrance fell, she could see the lights from the torches through the tapas as well as the designs upon them. She turned to the tapa that she was originally under that depicted Maui–that intense gaze and those barred teeth made her think of her friend’s moment of anger from earlier–and she recalled her dream with the mysterious woman. So long as you are by the ocean or within it, it will protect you from a certain danger.” The words rang in her head but they only made her annoyed. “What good was being safe near the water when all it did was cause me trouble?” Moana asked the tapa of Maui before turning around to look at all the tapas. “What could can any of you be to me now?!” She demanded with a scowl as she walked around the room and shot accusing looks at the characters. “I can’t overcome my foe because he wishes to control my future! I can’t just abandon my people, no matter how much I want to leave! I’m not a hero like some of you and I don’t have the power like the rest! I can’t save my friend and I can’t save myself!” She felt like she was suffocating again, like she was choking on something unseen. “I know father will still try to burn down the boats.” She felt herself going into a panic. “I let our heritage be destroyed because of me! I let one person get in trouble because of me! I just can’t get out of the dance because of how much it means to me! I’m expected to do things that I don’t know if I can or not, I’ll always have to mask my real feelings–” She was drowning in her stress and she tried to swim back up in an angry outburst. “No one cares about what I want! Why would any of you start caring?!” She cried out to the characters. “Do any of you understand how I feel?! I can’t be the person–I don’t want to be–I–!”
She didn’t know what she wanted anymore. “I don’t know what my true self is.” She stopped at the tapa of Tamatoa and collapsed under it. “I can’t–” She felt her tears coming. “I can’t–” She curled herself into a ball again and tried to calm herself as her head bowed into her knees. She was terrified and she wanted out. She didn’t want tomorrow to come and she wanted to defy all odds but she had no clue how. She couldn’t be true to herself and she had no idea who she was anymore. All she knew was that she was just a stupid, selfish little brat who couldn’t do anything right. Moana started to sob as her tears came flowing out while the ball of stress was still locked inside her body. The light from the torch outside illuminated the tapa Moana was in front of and it revealed all the sinister details that made up Tamatoa who was right above her. Yet an ominous shadow of a figure from outside walked forth and stopped in front of the tapa and covered up the character on it. The shadow blocked Moana from the light, trapping her in its darkness, and as she continued to sob, the shadow waited for a few seconds. “Hey little princess hello...” A smooth, yet deep sounding voice sang out from behind Moana. Moana ceased her crying as she took in the voice through her stress filled mind. “Wh-whose there?” She sniffed as she slowly raised her head and acknowledged that she was not alone. “You’re looking glum as can be...” She never heard such a voice before; it had a smooth, calming quality and yet there was an odd seductiveness about it that made you want to hear more.
“Hello?” Moana’s voice rose in strength with her demanded as she began to forget her concerns. Who was outside the fale and singing as if it was for her and her alone? “You’re looking mighty sad.” The voice continued to croon and it was at this point that Moana finally got up, but the figure retreated away from the tapa as if he sensed what she was doing. “It’s so plain to me.” Moana wiped her tears off her face as she walked over to the entrance to the fale and opened it to see an almost human like figure in strange cape like garments of dark greens and browns that completely covered him from head to toe and slightly dragged upon the ground. He took one of the torches off the ground and proceeded to walk away from the fale with a strange staggering movement as if his steps varied between normal and uneven. “Well if you need a friend,” He continued singing as he went about his way “I got a hand to lend.” Curious as to who this strange singer was, Moana watched as he got farther away before she went over to also grab one of the torches. She watched as he headed his way on a side trail that lead somewhere near the mountains and forested area of the mountain in that strange walk of his. Could he be her friend? No, she was positive that couldn’t be what his actual voice sounded like (and she wasn’t sure if he did escape) but she felt compelled to follow this man who didn’t sound like any of the men from her village. No man she knew of possessed a voice that seductive or that unique. If truth be told, any distraction was a welcome to the girl and this was a very interesting one. “Come on, come on,” He sang as if he knew she was following him as he got further and further away into the darkness of the night with only a torch to guide him. “Come on, come on,” And follow him she did, away from her grandmother’s fale. “Come on, come on.” His singing continued to make Moana forget her troubles from earlier that day and her sadness turned to a burning curiosity. She wanted to know who this person was while at the same time she was drawn to his voice, which seemed to numb away her inner turmoil. “Poor unfortunate soul,” He sang another song. “In pain, in need. This one longing for their freedom, this one longing to escape, and do I help them? Yes indeed.” Moana was barely paying attention to his words as she continued following this strange figure farther and farther away from the village. It was easy to follow him due to his limping movements and his torch which he held as far away from him as possible, yet she was unaware as to where exactly he was going as they continued. Moana wanted more than anything to see the face of the one who possessed such a voice. She already had to go through many years wondering about the face of the voice she tried her hardest to remember. If her savior’s voice had been like a warm day with the sun at its highest point in the sky and was deep and full of life, then this voice had a strange playfulness about it and a smoldering quality, with a rich depth unlike that of the ocean. Eventually he changed his song again that practically radiated with confidence. “Well Tamatoa hasn’t always been this glam,” He crooned. “He was a drab little crab once. Now he knows he can be happy as a clam, because he’s beautiful, baby.”


“Did your granny say, listen to your heart?” He continued as his voice picked up in volume. “Be who you are on the inside?” I need three words to tear her argument apart: your granny lied.” Moana became aware that they were now somewhere between the forests and the mountains as he continued in a more upbeat, show-offish manner. “I’d rather be shiny! Like a treasure from a sunken pirate wreck! Scrub the deck and make it look shiny! I will sparkle like a wealthy woman’s neck!” For a brief moment Moana was reminded of her friend’s earlier smug behavior and felt convinced that if this man wasn’t him then these two would probably get along. In that moment she felt a twinge of regret and she completely missed part of the man’s song. When she came back to reality, she only heard “-they chase anything that glitters! Beginners! Oh, and here they come, come, come, to the brightest thing that glitters!” At this point the man stopped at a small dead end of an area where the earth rose up to serve as walls, though one wall was low enough that you could see the tops of the nearby trees. There were some plants and a few boulders and rocks, yet there were a few torches already placed here and there to give the area equal illumination. It was here that the man hummed the rest of the song and he thrusted the torch in between a few boulders and Moana stopped a few feet away to see what he would do. He cracked his head to one side and took the odd garment off before quickly throwing it away as far as he could as if he hated it and he let out a deep sigh of relief. He made to roll his head for a moment but then he paused for a second when he seemed to be aware that someone had followed him. “Well, well, well,” He sang with a low, amused tone as he turned around to face Moana, who almost flinched in surprise and even backed away a few steps when she realized that he was now fully aware of the fact that she followed him. This man was not ordinary in appearance. His clothing was unusual in that the vibrant colors were impossible to create with any ordinary dyes, nor did they look natural. His adornments included strange looking objects and materials that flashed and shone in the light of the fire and he even wore them as accessories. His appearance was so peculiar and flashy, yet so other worldly, that Moana had no idea if she was standing before a warrior, a lord, or even one of the gods. When she looked down, she realized why the man walked so oddly–he was missing part of a leg on one side and he was wearing some sort of prosthetic unlike any she had ever seen as a replacement so that he could be able to walk like a normal two legged person. “What have we here?” Moana looked up when the stranger asked in an amused and eager tone of voice. His talking voice was slightly different than his singing voice as he had specific accent that was more prominent and made the emphasis on some of the words come out differently than what Moana was used to. “I thought I heard someone following me.” He flashed the girl a strange grin that revealed a set of crooked teeth as he walked over to her. “I didn’t expect that it would be the young princess of this island herself!” He then bowed before her in a dramatic flourish, his upper body bending low as far as he could and his free arm extending completely out to the side. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Your Highness!” “I–uh–” Moana felt a little unsure as to what was going on. “I’m not a princess.” She told him with a slight awkwardness. “I’m the Chief’s daughter–I’m afraid isn’t the same thing.”
The stranger let out a strange scoffing sound. “Aw, it doesn’t matter.” He got up and rolled his eyes before walking towards her. “From what I know, the titles are all the same.” He then did something Moana didn’t expect when he got close enough– he reached out and took her free hand with an almost light as an air hold and extreme carefulness. It was as if he was barely touching her and was trying to avoid completely grabbing her hand as if doing so would break it and he lowered himself slightly to her level as his other arm went behind his back. “Enchante, mon princesse.” The stranger gave Moana a wide, yet oddly charming smile before he raised her hand to his mouth and kissed the back of it. It was such a sudden gesture that Moana had no idea how to react, yet she felt herself blushing at the contact of his lips against her hand. She couldn’t deny that there was a strangely charismatic nature about this man, despite his other oddities. “Was that too forward?” The stranger flatly asked with a frown after kissing her hand when he saw the blush, yet his eyes hinted at a pleasure towards her reaction. “You’ll have to forgive me.” The stranger continued as he lowered her hand from his face and he looked into her eyes. “I know that’s not the traditional greeting around these parts, but I’m a collector and I tend to pick up more than just treasures when I go out and about in the world. Its quite educational and some of the things I find are beyond your wildest imagination.” Moana heard his words but she was looking at his eyes–they were a beautiful shade of deep blue, like certain parts of the waters around Motonui, yet his left pupil was slightly larger than the right one. She wondered how that was possible (an injury or something he had since birth?) and she missed hearing the stranger brag about his career as a collector until he finally said: “Hey, babe?” The stranger’s unique eyes narrowed in annoyance. “Just pick one to look at.” “Sorry!” Moana shook her head with a cringe of embarrassment and focused on his face altogether. “You must get easily distracted a lot, don’t you?” He asked as he finally let go of her hand and he stood back up. “Granted I can’t blame you since I’m impressive looking to begin with and I know I got a nice set of eyes.” He let out a smug smile at this as he gestured to himself with a dramatic flourish. “I actually quite enjoy the staring, so I forgive you for stalking me.” “Wha–?! No, I–!” Moana didn’t know whether to be offended or not by his earlier words but she didn’t want to embarrass herself either, nor did she want to seem offensive (she did notice that he was missing a leg after all, in addition to the differences in his pupils). “I mean I did follow you,” She stammered “But that was only when I heard you singing and you were covered up and–and you are a great singer!” She quickly added before she could offend him. The man’s face dropped in confusion for a second. “Wait... you actually liked the singing.” “Yes.” Moana smiled a little after making that recovery as she moved her torch in her other hand. “I’ve never heard a voice like yours. I was feeling depressed about some things that happened but I forgotten all about them now, so thank you.” It was true, she did forget her troubles. The stranger stared at her in disbelief before he let out a smile that felt a lot more genuine then the others. “You mean it?” He laughed in delight. “Thanks, mon princesse! The last time I sang, I was told to shut up!” “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.” Moana frowned as she wondered how that happened. He was a great singer, so it couldn’t have been because he was terrible. “Yeah, well he got what he had coming to him!” The stranger’s following laugh was now more out of amusement but there was an odd thing about it that felt wrong and almost mean spirited. “Actually it was kind of ironic, now that I think about it!” His laughter died down for a moment and the humor in his eyes vanished. “You know its almost funny.” He mused as he suddenly became lost in thought. “There was a time when I thought my voice alone could make others see some sort of value in me. In fact it used to be my only favorite thing since it could make others happy.” His eyes became melancholic and he paused for a few moments to turn his head around to try to look at his back for some odd reason. “And then you find out that no matter what you do, all people care about is what’s outside and whether or not you’re–” He quickly shook his head and that smugness returned when he moved his head back to the confused girl. “But hey, why should others care about how you feel, right?” He closed his eyes as he cupped his chin with one hand. “Its not like it’s more important than politics, preparations, appearances, or why the sky is missing some stars at night.” The stranger opened his eyes and let go of his chin to wave his hand out. “Though I can see quite a lot above our heads right now.” He looked up for a second. “I wonder how they shine like that.” One part of what he said was oddly specific and yet it caught Moana’s attention all the same. “You know that Maui’s constellation is missing too?!” She asked. “Tell me,” She stepped forward. “What do you know about it? Why has it vanished?”
“Oh?” The stranger seemed rather interested in her reaction. “So you hum–” He was about to say something but then hummed it instead before changing his words ”–you noticed that, didn’t you?!” His eyes then narrowed at Moana as his mouth turned into a smirk. “Question, O daughter of a Chief–well, its more like a personality question. Not one of the annoying kinds, like what your favorite color is!” He waved his hand but then he paused again. “Jewel tones.” He quickly threw it in as if he considered the answer but then he waved his hand again. “Anyway, its something more meaningful like...” His smirk deepened as his voice lowered to a strange, ominous tone as he leaned in towards Moana “What would you say if Maui turned his back on the human race and left them because they all took him for granted?” Moana stared in disbelief. What kind of question was that? “No,” She shook her head. “No he wouldn’t do that!” She denied this. “We appreciate all that he has done for us! We tell his stories and they inspire us even today! He wouldn’t just leave us like that!” That couldn’t be why the constellation vanished because Maui was said to genuinely care about the well being of humans. It just wasn’t a good enough of a reason. The stranger was taken aback by this but then he let out an odd snorting sound mixed with a laugh. He tried to hold it in yet he covered his hand as he snickered at Moana’s reaction and she thought she heard him mutter something behind it. “Oh sorry forgive me, something about that reminded me of something amusing that has to do with an old friend.” He shrugged and waved his hand again. “So despite all the less savory tales about him, you honestly believe that Maui is still a hero to you all? That he won’t get upset because one or two humans took advantage of his generosity over the years? You really think he is selfless enough to care about the feelings of at least one human if he goes missing, let alone if he actually does exist?” His words struck a small blow into Moana’s heart but the anger she held came back. “You probably know as much about him as you know about me!” The man stared at her and was taken aback by her outburst but then he shook his head as he threw his hands out when he shrugged. “Like I said, mon princesse–it was just a personality question.” “Of course I know enough to know that you were hiding a few secrets of your own and that you got in a lot of hot water with your daddy earlier today.” The stranger added as he walked around Moana, who was forced to turn around to follow him. “You are a little like me in a way–you can’t stand being like the others and being trapped and unable to do your own thing is suffocating you. You know that you were meant to shine and someone is trying to keep you in the dark. I know you have dreams and goals, mon princesse, but you can’t for reasons either beyond your control or because someone tells you not to do the things you want. And I’ve experienced enough to know that being selfless isn’t going to help you in the long run.” He gave her a sideways glance. “Trust me, I’ve been there and done that. I’ve been lied to before by someone close to me about how inner beauty can get you by in life. Unlike all your subjects and your family, I can give you a way to get off this island as far as you’d like to go.”
“What do you mean?” Moana asked as something in her head was screaming that something wasn’t right. “Well, if you do everything exactly as I say, you can get off this island before tomorrow night.” The man shot her an incredibly wide eyed look and a mischievous grin–the effect didn’t make him look human and it started Moana for a moment. “You see, I can guarantee that the way things are going, you are going to be stuck here miserable and forever doing what everyone wants you to do instead of the other way around. Now if you are willing to ignore the ‘voice’–” His features relaxed back to normal when he used his fingers with one hand to make air quotations on that word “–in your heart and give in to being a little selfish, you can free yourself and get what you desire the most. And all my ideas and back up plans, mon princesse? Every one of them gets you right off the island.”
“So what do you say?” He stopped and held a hand out to her. “Want to free yourself from all these people and get off for good?”
Moana stared at the stranger before staring at the hand. She wanted so badly to get off the island after all that happened, yet this was all too good to be true. “Why exactly do you care about what I want?” She asked. “Why me, of all people? I don’t see how this benefits you.” “Hey, I recognize a real diamond in the rough when I see one.” The man told her. “You got out on a boat one time, but it wasn’t enough, was it? Don’t you want more of that? To be part of that world?” He gestured out to where the sea was. “Even if one can almost drown in it or if there are a bunch of storms and monsters down below, I can’t blame you. The ocean gave me a heck of a time when I tried to get here but its better out there, take it from me.” Moana hesitated and she was about to ask what the man wanted from her when she realized something. How exactly did he know about the boat and her dad being angry at her in the first place? How did this man get on the island without anyone being aware of him? Wouldn’t someone have told her and her grandmother? And how did he– He mentioned drowning. Moana paused and looked at his garments and at the strange objects he had that seemed to shine in the firelight. There were not many objects she knew of that could do that and fact some of these strange objects shone so well that the shine was almost a brilliant white. Something shiny hit her in the eye earlier today and it wasn’t the sun. The angle wasn’t correct and she wasn’t looking at it, so you would have needed something reflective to have the light bounce off. Then it hit her like a rock to the head. “You,” Moana gasped as she held a hand to her mouth in shock. The man raised an eyebrow at her and, despite her warning scream in her head, she let it out “You were the reason I–!” Then Moana realized that the man had deliberately lured her away from the village. He knew where to find her and he had something in mind when he got her away when she was all alone. In fact this area had been set up as if he was expecting her to come to him. She was beginning to be afraid. “I...I just remembered that my grandma will be looking for me.” Moana avoided the stranger’s gaze as she tried to walk backwards away from him. “In fact I think there might be some people out around this area tonight.” She lied with a straight face. “Maybe I could come by tomorrow instead.” She turned around and was about to walk away when she heard the man approach her and grab her free arm in a painful squeeze. “You know its very rude to walk out of a conversation that hasn’t ended yet, babe.” The man’s voice came out in a warning hiss before Moana turned around to face him. “Weren’t you taught better than that?” The stranger’s pleasantries faded and his eyes narrowed at Moana, who now realized that despite his impressive appearance there was something about this man that was wrong. She was just too distracted by her issues and his showiness to see it. She couldn’t put her finger on what was wrong with this man, but there was something hiding behind the grandiose surface and within his eyes. Her grandmother’s warning on how appearances could be deceiving could not have been more effective in any other situation. “You were the reason I was blinded on the boat today!” She trembled as she yelled out her accusation. “You caused that to happen and I almost died!” She narrowed her eyes at the man before her. “Did you tell my father about me being out on the sea too?!” She demanded. “Who are you and what do you really want with me?!” The look of embarrassed surprise in the man’s eyes was all Moana needed to know the answer. “Oh ho, aren’t you a clever one.” The stranger scowled as annoyance flashed in his eyes. Moana slowly stepped back as the man got closer to her as he kept his hold on her. “I’ve yet to meet your daddy, so no I wasn’t the reason why he found out, but he’s getting too curious for his own good at the moment. The thing is, you have no idea what you got yourself caught up in and I’m afraid I’m going to have to resort to a drastic measure.” He made as if to take something out of his clothes. Moana took no chances–she waved the torch between her and the man as hard as she could. The man recoiled in terror from the torch as fast as he could and almost stumbled backwards but by then she made a run for it. The man groaned in annoyance as he regained his balance before running after the teenager. “Why did I forget the bloody fire in her hands?!” It was almost as if the person who brought fire to the humans was still around her! Moana ran as fast as she could as she tried to figure out where she was and how close the village was with her fire in her hand. She might have a chance to outrun the stranger since he had a handicap (it was not the first time she took advantage of something like that), but she had no idea what it was that he really wanted with her and she didn’t want to take any chances. “GET BACK HERE!” The stranger yelled as she heard him coming. “I SWEAR IF YOU DON’T, I’LL MAKE THIS MUCH MORE DIFFICULT FOR YOU!” Moana chose not to respond back as she ran as fast as she could. Her injured leg was still recovering and was protesting against her actions, but she ignored the pain. A part of her wished there was someone by her side to help her, but she also felt confident that she could find the village. If she was close enough or else she could see it, then she would yell for help. At the same time, if she yelled for help, he would find her based off the sound of her voice. She once swore to never let herself be kidnapped again and to be ready if something happened, and now that was going to be put to the test. “I MEAN IT, YOU GET ONE CHANCE TO COME BACK!” He yelled again. The voice that was once so pleasant was now a cause of alarm and fear. “DON’T BLOW IT, BABE!” Where was she?! She thought she knew this island by heart and yet the darkness made it unfamiliar to her. Any moment the stranger could find her and already it seemed that her insides were starting to hurt from all the running! She knew that there was a freshwater pond and a waterfall close by if this pathway was familiar in the light of the torch. There was also a set of rocks she could hide behind over there if she was careful, but that meant that she would have to sacrifice her light. It was the only give away to her location and although she was afraid of doing it, she had no choice. The stranger sounded as if he were getting closer to her. She wished deep down that there was someone by her side and she wanted to scream but she couldn’t. Her heart was pounding and adrenaline was kicking in. She could barely even feel whatever she was stepping on underneath her as she ran for her life. Finally she found the small, narrow pathway that lead to the waterfall and she ran into it. When she finally saw the waterfall and the pond that turned into a stream that headed to her village, she glanced at the rocks, before hurling the torch into the waterfall. She quickly darted right to the rocks and crouched behind them where she was forced to wait. The darkness that she once feared could now become her greatest ally in this time of distress. “BABE!” The man sang. “WHERE ARE YOU BABE?!” Moana closed her eyes and covered her mouth as her body shook out of fear. Her breathing was already heavy from the hard work and it would be a give away to her hiding spot. Don’t find me, don’t find me, don’t find me. She pleaded. The footsteps slowed down and they got closer and closer to the waterfall. Moana held her breath. Her family and her friends raced though her mind as she feared what would happen if she was caught. The footsteps stopped. Moana pleaded to the gods to divert his attention away from this area. The steps then sounded as if they were retreating until there was a silence. Moana looked up to see that there was nothing out there; the sound of the waterfall cascading down into the pound was the only thing to break the silence. It seemed that the darkness was truly her ally for once in her life. With a huge sigh of relief, Moana got up from her hiding spot and held her face in her hands as she walked around the rocks. She would need to be extra careful getting out of here and she would have to alert the village about the stranger. She needed to get help and she needed to hide in a place where there was a lot of people. Moana took a few moments to calm herself down and she took a few deep breaths before she lowered her hands and opened her eyes to face the waterfall... and let out a strangled gasp of horror as her heart stopped. Staring right back at her was a large and incredibly monstrous face. She couldn’t make out what it was supposed to be, but it had intense colored markings of garish pink and dark blue on its face and somewhere illuminating the silhouette of its mountain of a head was a bright light blue glow. There was also pink and black colored antennas above its eyes–white eyes that were huge with a small dot of purple in each one and they were staring right at her. The water of the waterfall made the face ripple and distort a little, which only made the overall effect even more sinister. Moana took a few steps back before turning around as quickly as she could, only to come face to face with the stranger she had been trying to escape from. But now there was a big change in his appearance–the stranger also glowed in the darkness like the monster in the waterfall. All the peculiar adornments and accessories that he wore now glowed with that same light blue and he too also bore the blue and pink markings on his face. Even the whites of his eyes glowed as their blue color turned into the bright purple that belonged to the monster. Moana gasped in terror as she turned to try to get away before she found herself facing the monster in the waterfall again. She then hesitated as she stared up at the monstrous face and then realized that there was supposed to be a wall of earth and rocks behind the waterfall and there was nothing behind the stranger to cause that reflection. “What... what the...?” Moana gasped as her eyes widened while she tried to make sense of what was going on in her state of panic. The monster’s eyes narrowed at Moana and the purple of his eyes changed colors–one became light blue and the other became a garish pink. At the same time, his mouth grew into a big grin to reveal his white teeth which were as crooked as those of the one behind her. “Oh, babe, babe, babe.” The monster’s mouth moved, but the voice that spoke out belonged to that of the stranger. Moana turned around–her eyes wide with fear–as the man grinned and his eyes also changed like those of the monster’s. He took out a strange necklace with a purple shell with golden flecks that gave off a faint glow and he held a hand out to her. “You really shouldn’t have seen that.” In her panic, Moana made to run as fast as she could around the man, but he grabbed her when she was close enough and slammed her into one of the walls of earth that trapped her in this area with him. The strength behind the move was far more powerful than that of a normal human being and the force against the wall was enough to almost knock the air out of the young girl. While she was stunned, she fell to the ground and struggled to catch her breath as the man came and bent down to her level. Moana cried out as the stranger grabbed her neck with one hand, and forced her back up to her feet against the wall. Moana tried to scream but his hold was too tight to the point that he was almost chocking her; she tried to kick at him, but he kept his distance as if he expected it to happen. Instead she was forced to try to pull his arm away from her with her hands and she tugged as hard as she could, but it was futile. “I can’t believe you are the only thing in my way, but I can still use this to my advantage.” The stranger growled as he glared at Moana, who now tried to scratch at his hands while kicking at him. He then smirked as the hand that held onto the necklace flipped it in the air within the safety of his grasp before it was dangling down low between his fingers and thumb. “You humans with your embellishments to stories.” The stranger continued with a chuckle as he raised the necklace in front of Moana’s face. “Of course there are ways to make them real if you have the right possessions on hand.” “Wh–” Moana struggled to snarl at the man. “What are you doing?!” “Ever seen one so shiny?” The man sang as he waved his free hand and the shell of the necklace waved back and forth in front of Moana’s eyes. “Soak it in because it’s the last you’ll ever see.” Moana made to pull to the side, yet the man kept his hold and forced her off the wall and into a position that forced her to bend her knees as she furiously tried to pull his hand away as hard as she could. “Ces’t la vie, mon ami, I’m so shiny!” He sang in a dark cheerfulness as the glow of the shell grew and Moana tried her hardest to break free. “Now I’ll claim you so prepare your final plea, just for me.” He almost begged it as if it gave him pleasure. Against her will, Moana’s eyes were being drawn to the shell of the necklace that seemed to wave in time to the beat of the tempo of the stranger’s song. The more it glowed, the more she was drawn to it and her struggles were slowing down as the whites of the man’s eyes and the eyes themselves shifted from blue to pink and back again in a crazed manner and his grin widened. “You’ll never be quite as shiny,” He taunted Moana as her head began to throb and the browns of her eyes were slowly being taken over by a milky purple color. “You’ll wish you were nice and shiny!”

In back in the safety of the village, Sina slowly approached the fale of the man who could not speak with a basket of food in her hands. Tala followed her close behind with Pua by her feet and she could only let out a sigh and shake her head when she saw that there was already someone guarding the entrance to the fale with a club in their hands. “Maybe its better if I never tell them.” Sina quietly confessed to Tala as she looked down at the basket. “Maybe I’m not pregnant after all and it was a false alarm. Its not going to make things better.” She wanted so badly to tell Tui that she was positive that this was why her body was behaving so strangely lately (there had been so many signs and one of the women who helped deliver newborns that she confided in earlier was also convinced about this), but now it just felt too early to say. In fact, there could not have been a worst time for a feud to strike to prevent her from letting her family know. “It won’t unless you can help mend the bond between father and daughter.” Tala advised Sina. “If Moana chooses to stay with you tonight, please watch over her, will you?” Sina asked. Tala could only walk up to her daughter-in-law and placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. She carefully patted it before walking away. “Good night, Sina.” “Good night.” Sina responded with a weak smile before heading to the fale and Pua followed after her. When the guard looked up, she held the basket out to show why she was there and he nodded and parted to the side; Sina nervously went inside to see what her husband had done. The man had been tied to one of the central beams that held the fale up. A rope had been wrapped a few times around both his stomach and the beam he was pressed up against and his hands were tied at the wrists to the point that they allowed some comfortable movement, but they still kept them bound together. He had been forced to the ground in a sitting position and he was slumped over in a dejected manner to the point that his head hung low and his hair hid some of his face from view. Sina hated the sight and she wished that her husband hadn’t gone to this extent. She walked over and set the basket down close enough so that he could reach the food. “I’m sorry, I can’t find a good enough reason to excuse why my husband did the things he did.” Sina tried to apologize for something she knew she had no control over. He didn’t look up to indicate that he heard her, which made her lose more of her confidence. Even Pua tried to bump his head into the man’s leg, but he didn’t bother to notice Moana’s little friend. “I’ll see what I can do for you in the meantime.” Sina tried to say. “If it were in my power I–” There was no point in saying anything that could give him hope at the moment. She would give him an empty promise if she did. She sighed again and got up to turn around but stopped. She wanted to say something–anything–to cheer him up or give him closure, but she didn’t know what to say. It was only when she made it to the entrance and Pua followed her that the man finally looked up at Sina. She didn’t see the look of regret in his eyes before the light from outside vanished and he was stuck in the dark once more.

Sina later found her husband lost in thought as he looked at the strange golden brown object in his hands in their fale. She already knew the story behind it, but that wasn’t her concern. “You say that earning trust is important, but isn’t Moana’s trust in you as her father just as important?” Sina asked as she was determined to follow Tala’s advice. “You are afraid of losing her because of what happened in the past, but there are other ways to lose her forever. Could you imagine what would of happened if you did burn down those boats?” Tui turned his head to look at his wife, but he did not respond. “If I was in her position, I would have left the island and never came back.” Sina hardened her gaze. “I try to avoid picking sides and to help the two of you see the other’s views, but you went too far this time, Tui. Moana is also my daughter and I care about her happiness and well being. You cannot burn down those boats or else we could lose her for good.” Tui looked as if he wanted to answer but he could only force his eyes away from Sina, who was angry at this. At least her husband could be able to talk, so this was not excusable. “Can’t you at least let her say goodbye to her friend?!” Sina demanded. “I don’t want her to hate you Tui, but you have to at least make an effort to show that you aren’t the heartless father she thinks you are! What do you think will happen to her when he leaves the island?! What will happen if you choose to burn down the boats when the visitors leave?! What will happen to this family?! Do you think she would want to sleep in her own home with us ever again?!” “Eventually she will forget what happened, Sina.” Tui could only say. “Oh and like you didn’t forget your friend or your father?!” Sina yelled. It was at this point that Pua crawled away as far as he could from the argument. “Why would you bring them into this?!” He demanded. “We can’t forget the people who leave strong impressions on us!” Sina threw her hands out. “Especially those we were close to! So unless you try to find a way to fix this situation, you’ll be at risk of making Moana think that you were a horrible father to her when you were alive! She’s not going to have us in our lives forever!” Sina added. She had to stop herself from saying anything that could make the situation worse. She wanted to tell Tui that she wanted to be able to go to the other islands herself, that Moana might view the man who could not speak as a better father figure than Tui was when she looked back on those lost to her, that maybe his friend would not have appreciated how Tui was ‘honoring’ his memory. She needed to get through her husband’s stubbornness and make him see before her family was ruined forever. Sina glanced at the object in Tui’s hands. “You should return that back where it came from.” She advised with a scowl. “They say its bad luck to take something that belongs to the gods and I would not be surprised if that belonged to one of them.” “Its dark out and we won’t have time for that tomorrow.” Tui countered. “The owner lost it and they would have come for it if they knew it was missing.” “Then I guess you better not burn the boats.” Sina countered. “Because if you’re suspicion is correct, then we don’t know what will happen if the owner is not a friendly being.” Meanwhile a certain teenager was stumbling through the village as if lost in a trance. The moment she saw the Chief’s fale, she paused for a moment to take it in before she straightened herself up and headed towards it with more natural steps. Inside the fale, Pua sensed Moana approaching and he hurried out to greet her. The moment he finally located her coming towards the fale, he stopped and all he could do was stare in confusion. Sina sensed why Pua had left the fale and she stepped out to see her daughter looking at one of the many torches. “Moana?” Sina asked as she went to approach her daughter. Strangely enough, her daughter was dressed in an unusual skirt and top that was composed of a strange hue of magenta, with touches of blue and yellow. Even the clothing was somehow adorned with blue–green stones around her neck and what looked like rows of pearls upon the skirts. There was a string of pearls on top of her head like a crown and the only thing about her attire that did not change was the bandages around her injury. “Moana?” Sina asked again. Moana finally looked away from the fire and her eyes seemed to have a strange look in them like she was somewhere else. “Mother.” Moana nodded with a strange stiffness and a small smile. “Are you feeling well?” Sina was concerned and found herself holding her hands together. Was Moana still suffering and was this the result of it? She also wanted to know where Moana got that dress, but she was more concerned about Moana’s well being. Moana broke into a slightly wider smile as she straightened her back. “I’m perfectly fine.” Moana nodded and spoke in a strangely upbeat tone as if everything was perfectly natural, but there was still something about her that seemed restrained. “I just don’t think I can sleep here tonight. I think I’ll sleep at grandma’s instead.” Pua frowned from where he was as he looked over Moana. Something was wrong about her besides her outfit, which wasn’t exactly her style–there was a strange air about her that didn’t feel natural. He trotted over to her to see what it was. “I understand.” Sina nodded with a frown as she tried to hide her worries. “I know a lot has happened and I understand if you need to be away from your father for a bit.”
Moana’s smile twisted for a second and she flinched at the mention of her father. Sina saw the intense flash of anger in her daughter’s eyes, but to her it felt perfectly understandable since she wasn’t happy at Tui herself right now. “I would like that very much.” Moana admitted. At this point, Pua approached his companion and when he tried to push against her leg, she didn’t acknowledge him by looking down or petting him like usual. “Well... I’ll see you in the morning.” Sina turned around and left, feeling horrible that she didn’t have any other way to fix the situation before tomorrow morning. And who knew what would happen tomorrow while each member of her family was supposed to act like everything was ok? Moana turned around and ignored Pua, who tried to paw at her leg with one of his feet. She went on and walked away without even looking down. Pua immediately regretted leaving her alone. He was offended that she didn’t notice him, but he could tell something was wrong because this behavior wasn’t like Moana. He knew something had happened when he left her alone and it had to do with that strange atmosphere from earlier. He had to be extra careful so that he could figure out what was going on and what had happened to her. And that meant that he could not afford to let any of the villagers put him in an enclosure with the other animals. Moana continued walking and when she passed by the fale of the man who could not speak, the person with a club moved in front of the entrance as if she was going to try to enter it. She only stopped to look at it for one second before glancing back at the fale where her father was. The mask broke as her forced smile darkened into an angry glare and her eyes narrowed at it. What he did today was unforgivable. She would not let him get away with what he had done. Did he want her to be the perfect daughter? Oh she would give him the perfect daughter tomorrow. She shot her angry look at the person in front of the fale and they almost stumbled backwards in surprise at how intense her gaze was. Satisfied, Moana continued on her way.

Somewhere not too far from the village, the stranger Moana encountered stood by one of the torches he stole as he examined his arm. It was a very human like appendage made of flesh and bone instead of a hard shell and when he took the princess’ hand to kiss it, it wasn’t a claw that was holding her hand and his sense of touch had been heightened to the point that he could actually feel her skin. He had taken a drastic measure in order to make sure that the human wouldn’t get in the way. Granted the ocean had been dead set on keeping him off this island and it was one heck of a struggle for him as it tried with all its might to drag him back into its hold until he finally managed to get completely on the island and away from it. He knew the ocean was going to give him trouble. It was partly why he couldn’t go after the girl when he had his earliest possible chance, because that entity seemed really invested in the current events and it wasn’t on Tamatoa’s side. Of course, he knew he couldn’t blend in the way he was, which was why he had the foresight to make a back up concoction that didn’t last as long as Maui’s was, nor did it have the ingredients that took the demi-god’s voice or tattoos away. He was not a magical being but he wasn’t kidding about how going out into the world would be educational because he picked up quite a lot in the vast ocean besides treasures. He lucked out in learning how to turn into a human, but he never had a real need for that until now. The moment he had taken the concoction, it was one of the most physically painful experiences of his life next to the loss of his leg. It was like he was being compressed and something was pushing against him, forcing certain body parts to retreat into himself and he had to bite down on one of the many trees to keep himself from screaming before it got too big for him. Even his insides changing was agonizing and especially when his posture was changed so that he would have to stand like a human. He wasn’t claustrophobic but he suddenly had a good idea what it was like when that happened and there had been a lot of cursing in addition to the screaming. He wasn’t sure if Maui got the better end of the same deal or not at this point. It took the once mighty crab a while to get used to the changes, including learning to move like a human, the change in perspective, and a whole lot of other things that were incredibly disorienting to him. Even learning how to readjust holding onto objects took some time and luckily he had enough while he was still observing and forced to hide in an (unflattering) set of rags to cover the splendor and shine of his human form from the unsuspecting mortals. Being in this form was interesting, but it wasn’t enjoyable if he couldn’t show it off, if he couldn’t see his proper reflection as it currently was, or if it had to come with immense pain with the initial change. Also he wasn’t able to get his missing leg back, which was a huge downside. He did grow a little fond of the human princess and he did appreciate her sincere compliment on his singing. It was disorienting in the fact that he didn’t have to do anything to force her to his eye level (and it had been years since he was large enough to be at eye level with a human) but he had been convinced that she seemed to like him and that he had impressed her by being himself. It was a blow to his ego that the only reason why she was comfortable around him at first was because he was a mortal like her at that point and it did prove his point that outer beauty was all that really mattered in this world. However it did make him wonder what the heck she was able to see in Maui if his body had been damaged by the spell, in addition to losing his voice. But somehow she figured out enough to force Tamatoa to take a drastic measure. It wasn’t a big loss because, from what he understood what was going on, he did her a huge favor that was also going to work in his benefit. As long as the princess was away from Maui, Tamatoa’s victory would come to pass and it looked like the stakes were raising much higher for the demi-god than ever before. He was even considering stopping by and gloating his victory over the voiceless man, just to add more salt to the wound. Tamatoa laughed as he took a fish that he stole from the village (it would help with swallowing down some of the concoction that he needed to take to continue hiding from the mortals and to stay away from the ocean) before he bit down on the once living creature and ripped it apart with his teeth to eat it raw. Its insides spilled out and some of it went down his chin before he wiped it away with the back of his hand (even as a human, the taste was still the same to him). It wasn’t fresh or still alive like he would have preferred, but beggars can’t be choosers. Tomorrow would be the final sunset and now it was a matter of waiting. In the meantime, Tamatoa now had a sure way to keep the princess away from the demi-god until it was too late for either of them to come to their aid.

Moana continued walking until she was near a torch that showed her that her grandmother’s fale was close by and it was here that she stopped. “So you want to get off the island, babe? Well the easiest way to do so is with this.” The voice of the stranger echoed in her head from before he left her to go off and vanish. Moana moved her hand so that she could reach for the back of the top that went with her new dress and pulled out a strange object that the stranger had given her. It was beautifully crafted with purple colored tones of some sort of material that felt like hardened tapa cloth and it had pearls spiraling around it, yet the top part was made out of purple coral that had been smoothed down so that it was safe to hold onto. “It doesn’t matter how you use it. There are many ways you can use it, but each one guarantees a one way trip out of here. Do whatever you like, but I do have one recommendation.” Moana grabbed the top end and pulled the object out of the beautiful sheath before she could hold it out to look at it. In her hands was a carefully crafted dagger made from the bone of an undersea animal that had been carefully sharpened to the point that lightly touching it would cut someone and the ends were jagged on one side. A bit of rope tied the topmost and blunt end of the blade onto the coral handle, and the blade itself it was long enough that it could cause serious injury if plunged deep enough into a person’s body. “At the very moment you stop dancing for everyone tomorrow–the moment you stop giving them the person they want to see–go ahead and go after the one person who held you back.” Moana turned away from the torch to face her family’s fale and glared at it. Without any light around, her eyes glowed with a faint purple which was the only clue to the fact that someone had casted a spell upon her. Compassion, love, forgiveness, guilt–they had been suppressed in the spell that was controlling her. Instead there was a numbness that dulled down her sorrow and stress, but there was a certain anger that had been amplified in the spell and was patiently waiting to erupt like a volcano. “Go ahead and kill your daddy, mon princesse.”

Now is the time to start being afraid since the nods to the original Little Mermaid are starting to become more obvious. I didn’t want to do the ‘hypnotized into marriage’ that was in the original Little Mermaid film because it didn’t fit with what I was going for (though I can imagine how Moana would react to both that and who she almost got hitched to if I did) though in some ways I see that this was a lot darker. And kind of ironic considering what’s happened to Moana (I do get some Te Ka vibes from this corrupted version of her). I admit that this... isn’t the first time I’ve had a character endure a similar fate/spell, or a strange character referring to the heroine as ‘princess’ a lot (looks at ‘Hyrule Warriors Warped’ for a second with a nervous laugh). Of course this is getting to the point where I can’t make Moana the damsel in distress forever. It feels wrong to me that I am doing this to her when she was able to save herself and Maui more than a few times in the movie. I wonder how many people thought that I would make Tamatoa be able to actually hypnotize Moana through voice alone. *laughs* Actually I wonder how many fans were won over by the act he was giving Moana (hand kissing and all) before the cracks in the disguise began to develop. I was kind of inspired by ‘Poor Unfortunate Soul’ by Serena Valentino for that one scene near the end where Tamatoa was observing his human form (there is a scene in the book where Ursula observes how Eric is first drawn to her human disguise under her spell). However I’m NOT going to make Tamatoa a sympathetic antagonist or someone who ‘needs to be fixed’ by someone. I don’t know his whole backstory and while I can only make a guess that it wasn’t a pleasant one, this is a guy who almost ate Moana in the original film and tore into Maui over his own insecurities. Plus I enjoy writing out a good antagonist when I get one. And with that, we enter the climax chapters of our story. Its a race against the final sunset at this point and while I need to do a little more research to make sure I get my facts right on a few things, I aim to give you guys something that feels unique as well as familiar.

“Thanks.” The writer rubbed her wrists and thanked A/N Tamatoa for helping her get free. “Your story self is weird as all heck, you know that?” She took out a special device and stared at two special buttons on her laptop that said  ‘outtake’ and ‘fourth wall hammer.’ “Rgh, I want to use these and I had some good ideas, but I should wait a little longer!” The writer frowned in frustration. “Especially considering what might happen next. It won’t be as satisfying if I use them now.” “So,” A voice asked. “ARE you that kind of fan?” The writer turned in confusion to the A/N Tamatoa who grinned at her. “Do you want a little adoration from me? This chapter was updated on Valentine’s Day.” He reminded her. The writer felt herself panicking as a blush went to her face. “Uh... what?” She stammered. “Uh, no I don’t know if–look I admit that I can develop crushes on fictional characters like everyone else but I’m realistic enough to not fall under the delusions of–And I doubt I’d have a crush for you if you existed in real life, but–” “Oh gods, you stupid little idiot.” The A/N Tamatoa huffed as he knelt down beside the reader and grabbed her hand. “Here you go.” He took it and kissed the back of it. “Is that all?” He asked in a low and very suggestive voice. The writer’s blushing intensified before she collapsed back to the ground with a thud. “Wh... what is going on?” The writer continued to stammer in her state of confusion. “That happened. That actually happened. Why did that happen?! I thought I was above this!” She cried out. The A/N Tamatoa laughed as he turned back into his crab self. “Ok, seeing you act like that was worth it.” He turned to the readers with a grin. “Oh, would some of you readers like some appreciation from me too? Your adoration alone is good enough for Tamatoa.” “I’M GOING TO FIND MY REAL LIFE COUNTERPART AND KILL HER!” The writer screamed.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #65

“i couldn’t take my eyes off her, but that’s not what i took off that night.”

have you ever wanted to travel to germany?   i have, yes.  if we happen to be blessed with quite a good income, i'd really like to do that once i have children, go on a big family trip to germany.  i'd need to brush up on my german, though! is marijuana legal for "recreational use" where you live? also what is your opinion on the recent legalization of marijuana in certain states?   i don't think it is... but the whole legalization shit is stupid.  you will never convince me that marijuana isn't dangerous.  don't legalize dangerous shit. do you usually have bad symptoms around "that time of the month"?   i'd say i'm luckier than most, now that i've been on the pill.  i get mild cramps, headaches, and i usually break out a bit. how do you feel about being called sweetie/dear/honey/etc.?   i'd have no problem with it.  jason never called me any of those listed though, just "love," which was my favorite anyway. do you have your national flag hanged up anywhere outside your house?   no, we don't. would you ever go to japan?   omg yes!! have you ever been in a choir?
   i was in the church, yes. have you ever had a speech impediment?   i stutter pretty badly. give out your phone number over the internet?    i have to VERY few people. what do people usually think your ethnicity is?   it's pretty obvious i'm caucasian. how do you feel about people using graphic images as a scare tactic to promote their beliefs? (i.e.: peta, abortion…)   do it.  DO IT.  it may be "too much" for someone, but that's how you initiate action, sometimes.  now i mean if you're going to show something ludicrously morbid or something, sure, censor that, please.  some things truly are too much. do you think gender neutral bathrooms are a good idea?   i'm neutral. how about the transgender bathroom business? you know exactly what i'm talking about.   HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA TUMBLR WOULD FUCKING CLOSE MY ACCOUNT IF I SAID ONE WORD ABOUT THIS MATTER. what are some of your favorite websites for online shopping?   rebel's market makes me moist. do you think it’s fair that people are able to make a reasonable salary and live comfortable lives just by making youtube videos?   not in the slightest.  they're entertainers.  just like singers, comedians, etc... inspired by an event at my school: why do you think there’s so much girl-on-girl hate in our culture?   because the country's homophobic. do you have a nice yard? if so, do you spend a lot of time outside in it? if not, where do you go when you want to relax outdoors on nice days?   there's nothing special about it.  and there's nowhere for me to relax if i wanna go outside.  we have no chairs outside or whatever. is there a group of friends that you used to hang out with but no longer do? why don’t you hang out anymore and how do you feel about them now?   i'll admit i was a loose "member" of the gothic/emo/scene/metalheads/whatever clique in high school.  because i identified most with them.  like we all sat together at lunch and such.  it was hilarious, actually; overlooking the cafeteria, there'd just be this big splotch of black. xD  i didn't "know" everyone in the group, just names, just select people.  i miss a good number of them.  we just had this... weird, underlying connection that said "hey, you're like me." how many siblings does your significant other or crush have?   he has one older brother. what is the movie that you have waited the longest for/which film do you remember anticipating the most/are still anticipating?   WHERE THE FUCK IS "THE INCREDIBLES II" do you have any ideas for a story or movie you’re planning to write or you’d write if you got the time/had the talent? please share a synopsis!   i had plenty of story ideas as a kid, but none i never fully went through, except one.  i don't feel like sharing, mostly because i barely remember it. what is something that an interested guy/girl could comment about you, that would make you instantly open to them (e.g., “that book you’re reading is from my favorite author”)?   i wouldn't just magically say "OKAY I TRUST YOU," but it would in fact entice me to trust you easier.  probably if you mentioned being a gmm fan. do you refer to yourself by any sort of fan nickname (belieber, little monster, etc.)?   mythical beast, motherfucker! \m/ do you ever just get lazy and give up on your friendships?   no.  if you think you're going to "get lazy" with a friendship, omg, just fuck off. if you are single, even if you are normally happily single, are there certain specific things you witness that make you wish you were in a relationship (e.g., people getting engaged)?   honestly, i constantly wish i was.  that sounds very desperate and... easy-to-get-ish, but i'm not lying about myself on my own blog.  single life is very lonely to me personally.  i think almost every human seeks knowing someone is interested in them in that sense and will always be there. out of all your usernames for websites, which one is your favorite? do you use it for more than one site?   my name almost everywhere is "ozzkat," which i really like, as it combines two of my favorite things. are there any cities near you that you’re afraid to go to because of the crime rate or its other bad reputations?   fuck sharpsburg.  where i grew up. do you grandparents ever judge you or stick their heads in your business? if not, is there someone else in your life you dread seeing because of their unwanted input?   my maternal grandmother is... ugh.  she's very closed-minded about important issues; like she only JUST recently opened up her mind to mental illnesses because of some drama in my family transpiring.  so for a long time, my illnesses were invalid to her.  last time i saw her though, we got along quite well. have you ever spent the whole day (or multiple days) just looking up one thing on the internet (e.g., videos of your favorite band, how-to videos, quizzes, etc.)?   ha ha omg just a few days back i spent all day with colleen and chels looking up tats, pinning all those i wanted on pinterest! if you ever think about getting married, what are some aspects of the wedding that you would like to see in a non-traditional manner (e.g., a different color dress or “partners” over “husband” and “wife”)?   well first, i do not want a church wedding, and i'm sliiightly considering a black dress to go with the gothic theme i'm hoping for. do you ask for other people's opinions often? on what subjects do you like to get the opinions or advice of others?   yes, i love asking for other people's opinions, mainly when i'm about to make a controversial decision.  god bless the few friends i have that've always been there to give me advice when i need it. what are you religious views or your thoughts on religion in general? how long did it take you to develop them? are you still confused or trying to figure out your religious views?   i am a creationist christian, meaning i do not believe in evolution, but natural selection, as they go in opposite directions.  this is a VERY fascinating subject and i'd love to give anyone curious a link to the blog post that instilled this belief in me.  i also believe the world was not created in six literal days, but rather the "days" stood for junctures of time.  i'm not sure which christian denomination that is.  i was raised a catholic, so i've literally always believed in god, but i turned to christianity alone in high school i think, as well as creationism when my former best friend mini exposed me to it.  i am not confused in my religion, no.  i'm quite confident in it. are you a rule follower? do you get angry if other people break the rules? can you remember a time that you have broken a rule?   it depends on the rule, really.  ex. i won't kill a person, but i'll download a song illegally.  all depends on what it is, if i support the rule, or if it's legally punishable, honestly. what songwriter do you consider to be one of the best lyricists?   CRADLE OF FILTH AND OTEP OMG SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY have you ever cried from physical pain?   as an adult?  yeah.  i fucking sobbed when i was getting my cyst emptied. what do you like best about taking surveys? do you use them to discuss current events in your personal life?   i like that they give me a chance to just... vent.  i get to talk about my life, yes, and i at least believe i can do it without being lectured. do you feel comfortable being about people your own age? do you feel like you "fit in" with people your age? in general, do you like spending time with people older or younger than yourself?   i feel... inferior to most people my age, honestly.  i don't think i fit in because i do far more unimpressive things compared to most people of my age group.  i'm not in school, i have no job, i'm not traveling to europe, i'm not married, i'm not raising a kid... i just don't feel like i belong.  simultaneously though, i like hanging out with people older than me because they're usually more mature. have you ever read more than one book at once? do you do this often?   i'm sure i have for school, but i don't do that anymore.  i don't read period. what is your favorite book series, and what is your favorite book out of that series?   ha ha omg i was MAD into the "warriors" (you know, the cat books) series in middle school through some of high school.  maybe even in elementary, i don't remember.  i don't have a favorite book in the series though, i think. who do you think reads these?   *shrugs*  i've seen my surveys taken before by people (easy to tell when everything's lower-cased and long as fuck lmao), so i guess they may read some of my answers while adding in their own.  some random tumblr users find them too, probably. can you change the oil on a car?   i cannot. the first time you discovered power:   ... i don't want to go into much detail on this, because after i thought about this question for a minute or so, i realized i have only ever felt power in a sexual situation.  i'm such a submissive person and just don't experience feeling powerful.  after thinking just now, i think me being such the sexual tease i am has to do with feeling powerful.  this is... really wrong, but i enjoyed the anticipatory knowing that jason wanted me a certain way, and because he's a man with respect, i had the say whether he could have me or not.  please do not confuse this for me saying i was controlling with my ex-boyfriend, i was incredibly submissive to him in general, but i felt in control in some sense.  for once. SCARIEST video game monster?   but... i've played so many horror games!!  uhhhh... well, i HATED the regenerators in "resident evil 4."  that fucking smile was horrifying.  hmmm... i also really hate/love the keeper/boxhead from "the evil within" bECAUSE OF HIS FUCKING WALK/JOG.  THAT thing storming towards you like that?  NO THANKS!  the one monster, however, that i think would frighten me the most in real life would be the clickers from "the last of us."  fuck those things.  they're disgusting and horrid. something someone said or did that you found extremely attractive:   well i mean, tons of things.  the thing that i believe affected me the most though was probably the time jason, in a whisper, called me his wife while we were "doing things."  he started out so afraid of commitment, and to hear him call me that in such a confident-sounding whisper, it meant... a lot.  but well.  he's gone now. something you've done that someone at least seemed to FIND extremely attractive:   lmaaoooo i'm open af on tumblr but the thing i've ever done i think jason found the most attractive, i shall not repeat.  i promise, you'd thank me. the farthest distance you would travel now to be with someone you desire:   for jason?  i'd go to the other end of the planet. what you dislike most about having a committed relationship:   i mean, i guess after you've been with someone so long, you're afraid of leaving the person even when necessary for your health.  if you're in a healthy relationship though, there's nothing i can really think of to complain about... your sexiest feature:   ... can hands be sexy?  because they're the only thing i like lmao the physical feature for which you are most often complimented:   my hair, def. a place where you have always wanted to make love:   ... a church fucking murder me the most perverted situation you have ever been in:   LOLOLOL LET'S NOT the first time you achieved orgasm:   i never have, but i think i got like agonizingly close once and had a panic attack because i didn't understand what was going on.  yes, i am truly that pathetic lmao. a person you regret sleeping with:   no one. a person you regret not sleeping with:   first i don't regret literally sleeping with jason, but i'm assuming in this context, you mean "having sex with."  in that case, jason. a fantastic kisser you have known:   only ever kissed jason, and i am QUITE sure there's no one i'll meet who'll be better.  like ffs he only had one partner before me and certain things he did with me he didn't with his ex, yet he always seemed to know what to do...? the book, song, or movie title that best describes your sexuality:   uhhh.  idk? you have a great amount of guilt regarding:   practically sexting my former best friend's boyfriend when i was like 12.  and i was the one who got them together. a moment in your life when your emotions froze and you felt absolutely nothing:   when jason told me he was talking to dillon about our relationship in a negative context... i knew. you are haunted by the memory of:   everyone knows by now. one of your most peaceful moments:   lying with jason on the trampoline, looking up at the stars... a sickness or disease you fear:   more than anything?  alzheimer's/dementia.  i can't forget.  i can't.  i don't care how tragic my life's been, i don't want to fucking forget. a reason for which you would seriously contemplate suicide:   if jason died.  i'd more than consider it. your greatest fear about marriage:   divorce.  marriage is supposed to be for forever; i don't want to marry the wrong person. what's your mood right this minute?   i'm actually... okay-ish.  for once in my life.  i'm talking to my friend jax about a private subject, and it's opening my mind to some possibilities about certain things.  i feel like a weight's crumbling from my shoulders. ever had an internal worm?   NONONONONONONONONO PLEASE GOD NEVER THEY TERRIFY ME FUCK THAT have you ever been in a lighthouse?   no, but i'd love to. :< do you find that you have a certain meal you eat every time you go to certain restaurants?   i always get the same meal when i go to any restaurant. you have the option to have sex right now. do you do it?   only if it's with jason, yeah. would you ever lie to someone to make them feel good about themselves?   depends on the subject. do any medical problems run in your family?   OHHH GOD HERE GOES.  let's see.  heart disease, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, cancer, depression, anxiety, bipolarity, and i can absolutely guarantee i'm forgetting some... something you really want right now?   i'd rather not say. have you cuddled with someone you weren’t dating?   i have not. how long have you been using tumblr?   not even a year yet. what was the last pill you took?   idk.  i take my morning pills in bulk. where was the last place you got completely wasted?   i've never been completely wasted. describe god:   i'd... rather not with how life is right now. your most spiritual moment:   i still believe i had a dream once sent to me by god.  when i was much younger, i had a dream that i walked outside onto my front porch, and two geese, one white, one black, flew in sync with each other to perch before me.  they morphed into my grandfather, who smiled at me, and my former cat midnight, who meowed.  i really do feel like this was god reminding me my loved ones will always watch over me, because the feeling it gave me, it was holy. how you picture the end of the world:   the biblical definition, i guess.  pretty much everything that can go wrong, goes wrong.  it sounds terrifying. do you feel that most wars started because of religious conflicts?   i am honestly not knowledgeable about aaaall the wars in our history to determine this answer fairly.  i do, however, believe a good majority are related to religion. does life exist on other planets?   no.  speaking of "life on other planets," isn't it funny how a trace of water on mars is called life, but an unborn fetus isn't?? do you believe we are descendants of adam and eve?   yes, i do. the first step toward resolving poverty:   hunny, i wish i could tell you.  there are a LOT of factors to this. the worst crime against humanity:   hm.  i honestly don't know what i consider the worst.  i'll think about that and come back to this question if i think of anything. the minimum punishment for those who molest children should be:   fucking kill them. your most beautiful childhood memory of your parents:   probably something regarding fishing... your most horrifying childhood memory of your parents:   hearing my mom screaming in ashley's room, calling her a slut, a whore, worrying i'd be in ashley's place some day... a friend you would name as a godparent to your child:   if we're even still friends then... colleen. the moment you are most ashamed of:   i've told this story enough times.  it's the same moment i'm most embarrassed of. someone who shared this moment with you:   um.  his name is joel. what do you think of people who have fake relationship statuses (like married to their best friend) on facebook?   i mean it's whatever, but it may be frustrating if you wanna know if that person is really in a relationship without asking. if your employer looked at your facebook page, do you think they'd fire you?   lmao after seeing i'm conservative, i'm sure. do you wish facebook had a "dislike" button or would that cause too many arguments?   i'm neutral.  i see both sides. who's your favorite band? how long have they been your favorite?   ozzy and metallica have been two of favorites since middle school started, and the others, i don't really remember.  my most recent favorite band tho is a day to remember, who i've liked for a bit over a year now. do you get annoyed when people try to get you to like their music, even though you've told them before that it's just not your thing?   that's never really happened to me.  now, i've been told my music is pretty much devil music and is nothing about depression, death, and despair because my best friend's fucking ignorant, but she hasn't tried to control the kind of music i like exactly. last concert you were at? was it good?   alice cooper, and it was EPIC.  it was storming and we were all soaking wet outside.  he did that illusion where his head gets chopped off by a guillotine, which was REALLY cool.  towards the end, huge balls were being passed through the crowd and he sang a rendition of "another brick in the wall" by pink floyd and it was just.  holy shit it was badass. who was your favorite band in elementary school? do you still listen to them?   it was probably green day, and yeah, i love them. looking at your appearance alone, would people be surprised to learn that you listen to the music that you do (ex. do you dress goth but listen to country)?   it's pretty obvious what i listen to. pro-gay rights or anti-gay rights?   i am for rights towards certain parts of the LGBTQ+ community.  i'm sorry to tell you, but i sincerely believe there are... certain sexual/gender-oriented decisions... that are not "real."  i won't go into detail on tumblr because it's a liberal parade and frankly i don't feel like hearing it. separation of church and state or no?   DEPENDS DEPENDS DEPENDS.  it REALLY depends on the very unique situation. prayer in school, yay or nay?   you'd best let a child pray to themselves in school. free healthcare (like in canada), good or bad?   make it free, yes. using the word "slut" against women--okay or not okay?   against a woman who deserves it?  sure.  before every fucking reader gets triggered, a slut is merely defined as a feminine character who has multiple sexual partners without much commitment.  ummm, last time i checked, there are women who do JUST that???  it's just a fact???  i'm white.  you can call me white without fucking offending me.  same thing for a "slut," i'd merely be stating a fact about you.  people have made such a big fucking deal out of this word. if you were pregnant, how long would you wait to write something about it on facebook?   OH BOY IT'D BE QUICK.  probably right after my husband knew, really!  i've already got pregnancy announcements planned!  i want to make a really creative pregnancy announcement photograph with my hubby, those are like... my favorite pictures ever. (: when you're on a first date with someone, do you like it when they ASK if they can kiss you?   i'm not really into the idea of a first date kiss, but yeah, i think i'd appreciate being asked. in your opinion, is omitting some of the truth the same thing is lying?   hm.  i do believe i- well... i don't know.  it depends on what you say, i guess, but in general, you're not lying yet...? what's your favorite kind of lip piercing? (monroe, labret, snakebites, etc.)   vertical labret!!!  i really like these because i feel it enunciates the symmetry of your face. what's the most annoying "type" of drunk person?   well i mean, this is far more repulsive than annoying, but angry drunks. at what time in your life were you happiest? if it was in the past, would you want to go back and relive it, though still knowing all the things you know now? if you had the option, would you choose (if it’s in the present) or have chosen to stay here/there forever and never learn anything new?   the whole time i was dating jason.  the first one or two years were the best.  but would i go back there, knowing what i do now?  no.  i can't.  there's no way i could. when is the right time to start having sex with someone you’ve become romantically interested in?   honestly this is the same thing as a question i answered earlier today about when to consider getting engaged.  time doesn't really determine this, but rather the intensity of the bond created.  in general again though, i'd personally wait about a year, i suppose, to ensure you're both very serious about these feelings. if you honestly heard the voice of god talking to you, would you tell anyone? how would you tell them? (i.e., "Conversations with god" is a result of the author claiming to have heard god’s voice loud and clear, but some people would have gone packing to the mental institution, and others would have told their church… etc.)   i would hate that, honestly.  i don't wanna be hearing voices, regardless of who you are.  but i do believe i'd tell my mom, but probably only her. have your parents ever told you that you couldn’t hang out with a certain someone?   that i couldn't, no, that they didn't recommend it, yes. could you forgive a boyfriend or friend who physically hurt you?   LMAO NOPE BYE FAM do you take care of your friends when they’re sick?   the only person i've ever truly taken care of when sick was jason when he had bronchitis. do you own any real diamonds or other expensive jewelry?   i don't think so. has anyone ever gave you jewelry as a present?   mhmm. do you like diamonds or gemstones better?   other gemstones, def. silver or gold?   gold.  i find it prettier and i can't wear silver anyway, i'm allergic. what kind of soda is your favorite?   mountain dew, shamefully. do you use any acne products?   not anymore. what do you take when you have an upset stomach?   peptobismol do you get angry when people criticize your taste in music, or do you just shrug it off?   when people say they don't like it, not at all, but if you're gonna straight-up criticize it like it's "bad" or "wrong" or something...?  i won't get angry, but definitely annoyed.  i find it aesthetically pleasing.  you find your music aesthetically pleasing.  shut the fuck up. have you ever smoked?   i have not.

[onlyonewoman]

Shipping skills, lonely sailors & the love for a fandom

I came to the Black Sails fandom pit quite late. I started watching the show with my common-law spouse when we’d finished binge watching  season 1-3 of Game Of Thrones summer 2013 and asked ourselves what to do with our lives now. Well, since we had HBO and wasn’t gonna cancel it for ten months before we’d explored the supply a bit more, why not look up those series we might have a common interest for. Namely political humour and history. So, we decided for Last Week Tonight with John Oliver and our old favourite Bill Maher on the political humour side and then Vikings and Black Sails on the history side. Since both series had the entire first season available, we could binge watch, which is exactly the way we both prefer. We are nerds and nerds will be nerding (yes, we actually use that made-up verb). We don’t have kids and we don’t want any, we’re both past thirty and to dwell in our books, movies, TV shows, video games and creative stuff is the central part of our relationship. We’ve lived together for more than ten years and literally the best thing on Earth for us, is when we both have a bunch of shows we’re following, sometimes together and sometimes each of us for ourselves, because that makes us happy. I mean, my c-l spouse is literally looking forward for the next release in the GoT book series, even if I’m the only one of us reading it… That’s about how important nerding is to us. Anyhow, Black Sails… At first I found it very hard to get into the show. The first five episodes or so, we were sometimes rightdown annoyed with the series. It’s only eight episodes in the first season, which made it even more irritating. Our impression after watching the first season was ”meh, at least it’s an historical show”.  At the time, I didn’t know what a fandom was… Or fanfics at all. I had definately NOT heard the word ”shipping”. When the second season came, we both got more hooked and I was absolutely stunned by the James/Thomas kissing scene, just sitting there gaping like a fool and my c-l spouse was like ”here we go again with the guys kissing guys stuff… I’ll just sit here and wait for my nerd to calm down”. I was still not into fandom at all, but later on, when season three came I finally got really, really hooked. I alredy knew very well that Vane would die sooner or later, maybe not in that season but c’mon, it’s pirate history and no matter how mixed up it is with fictional characters from TI and entirely new written for the show, anyone with a little knowledge about pirate history, knows that this wont end well for all the main characters. I was still very emotionally taken from the third season and when it was over I was in a period in life where I was out of a job for the first time in many years. I had a very difficult time to relax (I was quite ill from stress, but didn’t understand that until later) and since I felt empty, you know the way you can feel when your feelings have been built up a long time during a show and then suddenly it’s just over and you just sit there thinking ”what the fuck happened”. At least I can feel like that, so I started to re-watch season three. And then I realised there were loose ends I didn’t remember, so I re-watched the second season and then season three again. Which lead me to the conclusion that I probably had to re-watch season one as well – and of course continue with two and three. In total, I watched five seasons in this order: 3-2-1-2-3, catching up on all the little details I never see when I watch a show for the first time. Then, I started to search for reviews and interviews about the show and one day the almighty Google lead me to musemm and shinmaya-aka-fred on tumblr where I stumbled upon Blint. And I was like: what have I missed? No, this can’t be right… Flint and Billy, how could anyone even…? I have to re-watch this shit again. And while re-watching I sorta slipped into AO3 as well (thank you musemm, you lead me there without knowing it!) and I wrote my first fic The Savior (heavily inspired by ”Home is where he is” by @shinmaya-aka-fred​ ). At first it felt extremely strange to write a fan fic. I’d never done it before and I suffer from social anxiety with a very high shame level, so to actually allow myself (yes, anxiety issues are weird) to write a fan fic, or even try to, and in English which is not my native tongue, gave me lots of anxiety at first. I’d spent a lot of time on AO3 just reading fics then, but when I finally decided to make my on account and actually publish the first part of The Savior in May 2016, I had such a high rate of anxiety I was jumping from fear when I saw I was getting a comment on it: I like this, please post more!! I just love the part where Flint saves Billy, I always thought it's such an amazing beginning of their story <3 Thank you so much for this, I hope you'll post the other chapters real soon! That was @musemm (you are just the best!) and I was like ”wow, maybe this is not that kind of Internet forum where people are mean”. Then I read this: Please, please post the rest oh this! There's not enough Billy/Flint -stories (there could never be enough!) And you're an inspiration to me, because I've been thinking about writing some fan-fiction, but also don't speak english as my native language. This was lovely!

That was @fabulatio (and you are just the most fabulous!) and I realised that this really is all for fun. It’s not about being skilled in English and people wont care if it’s not perfect. And then I was like ”shit… people might actually want to reas this crap… I shuld finish it”. Then this came: Of course we are interested in more.:) I'm so happy to see more Billy/Flint writers.:) Keep it up! This is where I stumbled on @rufferto9 (you darling!) and I guess that’s where I realised how fun it was to actually write this for someone else, but still not feel any pressure. I write a lot in my native language, both private and public, and sometimes I feel a lot of pressure. With the fan fics and the anonymity, I don’t have to feel the burden of ”thinking fresh” or think about how the things I write can affect my name or work. I can do it all for fun and share it with other anonymous people who also do this for fun. I love it. It’s also a living proof that an anonymous Internet forum don’t have to lead to people being mean or trolling. I’ve only had ONE negative comment on my 49 works and that was from someone outside the forum (I closed my works from comments outside the forum after that, but I didn’t delete it. It’s still there on chapter 13 of ”A Very Angry Boy”):

Interesting story, but way too much time with Billy's whore. I have no interest in reading about Billy with his whore(s), it makes stories less enjoyable to read, so it's curious you frequent that story aspect. Anything gained is negated by experience of reading whore passages, I don't want to read that and question why you include that device, what do you think it adds? I answered it like this: Well, the whore part is not about the sex as an erotic experience for the reader, as I guess you figured, but about Billy learning to get comfortable with intimacy. I mean, he's been raped, he's insecure about his body and don't really know how to handle his own desires. He's scared, and who else is gonna give him the possibility to show that kind of weakness? A crew member? Hardly. The captain? No way! Or a sailor from another crew? Why should Billy show that weakness to anyone that doesn't do it for coin?

So, I guess it makes sense to me to add Billy's way from hating his own body, not knowing how to take pleasure in intimacy, to be able to enjoy sex. It's only been a painful experience to him before he met that whore, I mean, he's literally been sexually tortured, and the molly helps him to reclaim his body. That's what I think it adds: character developement and healing progress. I hope it makes sense to you :) I closed my work from anonymous comments after that, because I realised people who’re writing fics themselves, don’t seem to be critical in the same way. And since I’ve been writing for years in public, I’m no stranger to negative response and I have no problem to deal with it, but for me, this is all about fun. Writing fan fiction is a free time doing, something we don’t make money from, something we do beacuse it, to quote Captain Flint: ”Because it feels good.” This is why I write and read fan fics. It feels good. It makes me feel good to explore and create without the pressure of adding my real name to the stories. It makes me feel good to write without any sense of competition. To know that there’s always room for more people to join in, more stories to be written, more pairings, more ideas and that there’s no need to have perfect language skills or coming up with new ideas. That being inspired of someones work and make a similar story isn’t stealing but inspiration and a way of celebrating another person’s story. To know that I can share my love for Black Sails with other people I don’t know, and not having to open up about anything else than our mutual love for this show. And no one I know IRL, knows my alias on AO3 or Tumblr. People in this awesome fandom are using anonymity not to act like assholes (seriously, what’s wrong with people who can’t be anonymous without using it to be mean to people?!) or to compete and that is the healthiest way of socializing I’ve come across in ages. Nerds sharing their nerdy love for nerdy stuff and simply allowing each other to have a place where it’s all about having a good time and live out funny, weird or scary ideas without the pressure of thinking about ”what people might think” or ”wheather I’m good/creative/skilled enough”. I love you, BS fandom. You’ve changed my life. And I still have no idea how or where anyone can see anything even slightly close to romantic or sexual interest between Silver and Flint – and I’ve really tried! I find it quite funny how quickly my viewers counts and kudos rose on my stories with that couple, compared to stories without them – come on, don’t you silverflint people ever long to read about another pairing EVEN if you’re shipping this one?! – and now I’m in the depths of my longest story ever ”An English Rose In December” and I’m still a bit shocked about how I ended up writing so much about a Silverflint relationship. It’s actually the second longest Silverflint story on AO3 now and it’s not even done yet. I don’t understand how that happened… I love to play with these characters. Love to give them different personas than in the series and not make Silver cocky, confident and manipulative. Love to make the battle for power between him and Flint to an old-fashioned historical, arranged marriage story, where the love must be built up slowly if it comes at all. Where manipulative smiles, sexual urges and schemes are only a small part of the relationship and the battle for power is about something much more difficult: to accept a life with someone you’ve not chosen, who’s not chosen you and how to deal with your feelings, with your partners feelings, with both your pasts and with a society where marriage has nothing to do with love and everything to do with power. I love to write my story and most of all, I love this fandom and all the joy it gives me on daily bases. The praises I’ve gotten from my public writing in my real name – the writing most people sadly believe is the only writing that really matters – hasn’t given me half the joy all the ”oh my god, this is so sweet <3<3<3” comments on my fics on AO3. Maybe because no one has to give me praise because they know me or know how hard I’ve worked on a piece. When I see a comment on one of my stories on AO3, I feel genuinly happy and grateful – and proud for knowing I’ve given someone a good time with my story. Because I love to read others stories. It gives me great pleasure and want the person who’ve written it to know that. Don’t ever be afraid to comment on a story you love! Don’t worry about your spelling, your grammar or ”how it may appear”. I’ve been there, I’ve been afraid to write in another language than my own, afraid to not be good enough, to not make my stories genuine enough and to leave ”too silly” comments. I say: screw that! The kudos and comments are a fan fic writers paycheck. More than once has an ”omg I love this” comment or a ”you’ve got kudos” mail made me crack the first, genuin and wide smile on a crappy day, and I’m quite certain I’m not alone in that regard. What I really wanted to say with this suddenly fucking LONG text wall is: *Black Sails fandom – you’re the proof that Internet can be a place where anonymity can be used to spread kindness, support, fun and love, and I’m so grateful I found you. *Never stop nerding! When season 4 is over and we’re experiencing the ”my series has ended” trauma, let’s keep nerding no matter if our favourite ship reached shore safely in the end or not. *Try to widen your pairings… I know, I have my favourit ships as well, but why restraining ourselves? The show will make some of us disappointed, no matter if we’re Silverflint, Blint, Gunnboner, Madisilver, Bonnyrackham or Bonnymax shippers. Not all ships will reach safe shores (if we’re really unlucky, we’ll end up with NO surviving ships and lots of fucking wrecks) and I know for myself I will feel a lot of difficult emotions when the season is over (probably also during the season, because holy shit, those teaser clips are NOT calming!) because it’s been so intense. I hope that more people will write stories about pairings we know CAN’T happen (like Billy/Vane, Thomas/Flint, Miranda/Abigail or why not Low/Idelle – only our imagination sets the limits here!) and pairings we know is highly unlikely to happen (like Silver/Flint, Billy/Flint, Silver/Billy or a repetition of Max/Eleanor) and pairings that already have happened or still have a chance to happen, have a short time of sweetness or even survive to the end (like Silver/Madi, Max/Anne, Billy/Ben, Idelle/Featherstone, Eleanor/Rogers). Or why not do like our freaking fabulous Fabulatio and do a Flint/Billy/Thomas? (Because if you haven’t read ”The life lost from us” already, you really should!) Point is: when the show is over, it will be painful for us, no matter if we’ve been shipping one or many couples, or no couple at all, because it will be an emotional and violent ending with LOTS of deaths. I’m alredy trying to prepare myself to Rackhams very likely walk to the gallows, to an eventual destruction of the Maroon camp with Madi’s people being taken by the English and sold to slavery. I try to prepare myself to the possible beginning of Billy Bones’ increased drinking and development to a bitter, lonely and cruel alcoholic, no Gunnboning OR Flintboning (or even, horrible thought: a Billy Bones fucking a woman, because that would actually make me pissed.) If they’re not gonna make him attracted to men at all after all these teasers with brothel visits where you can’t tell the whore’s sex, rainbow colored belts and a necklace pendant reminding suspiciously much about the male gender symbol pointing straight down instead of up to the right, no dialogue with women – or about women if you don’t count Billy’s questions about ”Mrs. Barlow” – and the way he swallows and lets his eyes linger on Ben Gunn (or by all means, the way he’s looking at Flint like he can’t decide wheather he wants to kill or fuck him) in a way he’s not done with anyone else in the series (sorry, Asheboners, but the few seconds he looked at Abigail doesn’t necessarily make him straight or even bi). Maybe I’ll be an unlucky Gunnboner in the end, seeing Billy make a brothel visit to a woman while Ben will only remain an ally he’s not even hugging. Maybe Flint will never have another kiss from a man, not from Silver or Billy or anyone, and make me cry because that would just be fucking cruel. Maybe all we end up with is Silvermadi, Ellewoodes (my new name for Eleanor/Woodes) and Bonnymax where Anne is devestated for losing Rackham at the gallows. Maybe non of us get what we really want, or even with our second or third wish if our main ship doesn’t reach shore. What we do know is that no matter how Treasure Island ends, Black Sails wont end in perfect connection with that story. The series creators have said recently that season four wont fit completely into Treasure Island so who knows? Jonathan Steinburg said this in an intwerview: ”What we ended up deciding was to treat Treasure Island as a story that was written based on historical events that take place on the show. That book is clearly written in a different tone than the show; to not be able to acknowledge that puts you in a lot of awkward positions in terms of trying to literally marry the two narratives. By the time you get to the end of the season, it��s clear that [the two narratives] are married in a bunch of ways — but we didn’t feel the need to treat it as though it was the next page for the end of Season 4.” So, who knows? All I know is how much joy the series and the fandom are giving me on daily basis. Both as a reader and as a writer. And as writer, I ask all of you who’re registrated on AO3, either as both writers and readers or as readers only: Don’t forget to comment! Even if it’s just a ”Nice story!”, it’s dearly appriciated by most authors, I’m quite certain of that. Use the AO3 and the anonymity as an opportunity to be more ”shameless” in commenting. In the world outside fandom, where we need to act adult, where it’s not cool at all (especially not for people who’re past 30 – and heaven forbid if they’re childfree WOMEN past 30!) to be attached to a show, a character or a pairing that’s ”not real”, giving praise can be quite restricted where it’s important to not be ”too much” or sound ”unprofessional”. I love you, Black Sails fandom. Stay awesome, shameless and ridiculous! The world needs this shit. And @thewalruscaptain and @yasae... Just all the kisses in the world to you <3

[fragmentedimaginationcreator]

He Was a Natural Disaster Trapped in Human Form - Chapter 1/???

This is not happening in the same universe as the Fragmented Imagination but since I’ve decided to give shell at least one character (Protagonist) from this story anyway, I figured that I could use this side of my tumblr as generally posting my stories. (main focus still on fragmented, not to worry)Fragmented News: I’m gonna be posting a slice of Lucas’ life soon too as well as the fixed versions of the Prologue and Chapter 1, as my Beta finally fixed it for me ^^ And after I’ve finished with my current faceup/wig commissions I’ll start writing Chapter 2 for the Fragmented Imagination

Anyway. What is THIS story about?

- - - - - I went out of town to meet a friend. We had not seen each other for a long time and – as a socially impaired piece of shit that I am – I felt extremely nervous to see them again. How come the more time I spend apart from my friends, the harder it gets for me to gather up the courage to see them again? My heart kept racing and I was sure that something weird would happen. Either I would make weird sounds with my mouth (that one could mistake as speech) or I would do something utterly stupid. Maybe I would meet someone new and they would throw my world out of balance. If only I had trusted my gut instinct and believed that it might not be that far-fetched theory, I would have dialed my friend (and actually pressed the ”call” button) and come up with an excuse to move our meeting to another time. If only I had known that I was about to meet the Hurricane that was about to turn my world upside down, I would have turned away, covered my ears, closed my eyes and began shouting until my lungs were sore and no sound was left – anything weird and/or new scared me shitless and I did everything in my power to avoid them. But now that I have met this natural disaster trapped in human form, I would slap my past self in the face if they tried to walk away. I’d rewrite history countless times and I wouldn’t care who I would have to write off or on in to my life if it meant that I’d get to see that person again - even if just to pass by them at the super market. However… It was a chilly afternoon when my buss arrived to the station in this weird town that I had never visited before. My friend had just moved there a month or two ago and had insisted me to come see her new house (I had ”a flu” when her house warming parties were held). My friend, Nelly was her name, was waiting for me in front of the station and waved me happily when she found me stepping out of the buss. We hugged. I was never a fan of hugging - I preferred to keep my personal ”my meter” -space – but I found that it was actually comforting to be hugged by her. We had lived together for 2 years when we were still students so it felt like it had only been yesterday when we spent hours just drinking tea in our kitchen – not 10 years. ”How was the trip? There has been this horrible wind lately and other buss was late for like 30 minutes. So I was a bit worried that something would have happened to you”, Nelly said. She was so talkative. I replied to her with simple ”Uhuh, no, it was all good.” ”So Anon, I hope you don’t mind…” she started. (Shit, I do mind, I hate surprises… Also she must be the only person who still calls me with that nickname) ”One of my friends is staying over at my place – He has had quite a rough year and he is currently homeless so I let him stay at my place…” she looked at me while buckling up her seat belt. She was trying to read my expressions since she knew that I hated people. New people more than anything else. ”I did tell them that you were coming and that you were bad with other people, so just tell me if you’re uncomfortable. We’ve arranged it with my boyfriend so that he can stay at his place if you started feeling… those feelings again…” Ah, but of course… Nelly remembered. I have had my fair share of horrible young adulthood/teenage drama and I even had intensive therapy/medication for that shit – Though I had not been on meds or seen said therapist for a couple of years now. Yet, I still felt uncomfortable around other people, especially with males (funny, since I was a male myself too). Nelly had been the first person I had opened up to. Not that I meant to at the time but since she was there to soothe me when my nightmares were making me insane, she just kinda learned it on her own. ”Then why is he not staying at your boyfriend’s in the first place…?” I muttered without being able to stop myself. I was expecting to hear some sort of explanation. I mean, the guy was homeless -  I was suspicious that he was not completely ”normal” in my books just from that fact. Horribly narrow minded, I know. I lifted my eyes and met my friend’s face. She was smiling with this odd expression that was pretty much the embodiment of ”you’ll see” if I had ever seen one. I was pretty sure she’d also say that out loud but instead she just made a hand gesture, indicating that I should also buckle up mine as she started the engine. It was maybe a 20-ish minute drive when she pulled out to the small yard in the area that looked so old that it was antique (”These houses must cost a fortune to live in”, I thought). ”We’re here!” Nelly exclaimed happily as she took the keys out and outstretched her arms (as much as the small car let her) to make me look at her house. Holy shit. That was amazing house. I had never seen one quite like it before. It was a small (green) dublex with so many details in the windows (white wood with decorative carvings), porch (how many hours had been used just to make that railing?) and steppings (not to mention garden, though it was already beginning to look a bit sad since the cold weather had killed most of the plants already). My jaw must have dropped since Nelly was smiling with even more pleased look on her face. ”My boyfriend’s aunt is living in the other apartment and I get to live here pretty cheap if I help her out with taking care of the building and her – since she is getting quite sick… Oh! But don’t worry! She never comes to my apartment without letting me know in advance! She usually just calls me to come to her side if she needs me!” Nelly said as I was making _the_ face (more people…?). We unloaded the car and I was still awestruck with the amount of wood carving and detailing. Nelly said something like ”Aunt’s grand father was a carpenter and had build this house with his friends and had made sure that the house would be the most beautiful in town” … or something like that. To be honest I didn’t pay much attention since I was in love with the building even without its history. I was actually so fascinated with the building that I had completely forgotten about the person I was about to meet. I didn’t remember or realize it even when I kicked my own shoes away and saw a pair of (filthy) army boots on the clean hallway. (they were so out of place there) ”U came already?” shouted unfamiliar voice from somewhere in the house and I completely froze. (Shit. I was about to meet someone new. Hell to the NO! I’m not ready! Abort Mission! D-A-N-G-E-R-! ABORT MISSION! Abandon the fucking ship!) ”Yeah! Oh! Did you put the meat in the oven when I called?” Nelly shouted back cheerfully, disappearing to the room that was probably kitchen. I was taking off my coat when she came back with a happy expression. She took my luggage and told me to follow her to the guest room. ”We’ll be having some slow-cooked lamb for dinner – I found this awesome recipe for the sauce and I’ve been dying to use it and I just know that you’ll love it!” Nelly had begun to resemble those loving stay at home -wifes with about dozen cats– so she was clearly excited when she got to show off that side of her. As we walked past the room that Nelly had just been to (I was right, it was the kitchen) I saw the back of a man and for a short while, I felt like the world had slowed down so much that it might just as well have stopped. Man had loose jeans which had seen their better day and he had black socks (he was scratching his calf with his other leg) He had dark brown cardigan that was  pretty long and had something that resembled a hood (or just a big collar). He was holding a cup of coffee in his left hand (he had rolled up the sleeves of the cardigan but let the black long sleeves down) and his hair was a mix of natural (ash blonde) dread locks, braids and it seemed like none of that hair was the same length – but somehow it looked utterly cool and stylish the way he had tied it up so carelessly Thumb. I had dropped my bag and didn’t even realize it before the sound but I was not fast enough to react and as the stranger turned around, our eyes met for the first time. He had very captivating eyes and even though some silent voice at the back of my head kept telling me to pick up my bag and run through the front door, I couldn’t turn my eyes away. He had dark green eyes that were framed by long dark lashes, he had thick eyebrows and some beard (or maybe he had not just shaved for a couple of days). He smiled and I saw his lips (pretty narrow) form words. He let his head tilt a little to the left and exposed his neck (so long and more slender that I thought) and he turned around, towards me and started walking closer to me with a bright smile on his face. He had his arm stretched out, waiting to meet mine. Wait… RUN! I woke up from my trance, time started moving again and I crouched a bit to take my bag and stormed away to where Nelly was about to take me. I didn’t look back, didn’t care about the fact that I would see them in a moment again. Okay, I lied, I was scared shitless seeing them again. I was desperately trying to come up with an excuse to leave the house immediately. And I had only been in there for 3-5 minutes. Tops. ”There is towel ready on the table and I’ve changed linens this morning so they are all fresh and ready for you so you don’t need to worry about that! There are also extra pillows in the cabinet so help yourself if you want more. My room right upstairs, first door to the right and -He- is sleeping in the next room! I’ll go to prepare the meal so just make yourself at home,” Nelly kept talking but somehow I had trouble understanding. My heart was still beating so fast. I mumbled and smiled at her and she left the room and closed the door behind her. I stood there for a while, just looking out of the window. Why did the thing just happen? What was that bizarre moment about? It was nothing like I’ve ever experienced before. Freezing on the spot like that and even making an eye contact with a stranger and not even realizing it before they were almost close enough to touch me… But then again, there was something simply mesmerizing about him for sure. He was clearly not like any other person I had ever met before. “That’s bad”, I thought while I began rubbing my arm. I felt bruises forming under my hoodie. Ah… so uhmm… I also have this extremely rare condition called ”Bruising”. It has a long and impossible-to-remember medical name as well as some fancy Latin name but I feel like this street name describes it way better - at least it gives you a good idea what is about to follow. Basically my body is attacking itself. It’s not fatal (well, doctors don’t really know WHAT it is but so far it has not caused any casualties by itself) but it’s more like my body is trying to alarm me about everything. Like normally people with… well for example tenosynovitis, would have to rely to describing their pain to the doctors. My body is showing it physically. I get these bruises and small cuts whenever my body is, in any way, ”ill”. It’s kinda handy, like if I get a food poisoning, I can tell since my stomach starts bleeding a bit. Or if I’m catching a cold, light bruises show up on my throat. And if my body was about to develop a cancer, I’d probably find out about it before the traditional symptoms would starts showing up. Of course, there is always a downside. Like how often adults thought that my parents were abusing me since I was always full of bruises and cuts. And even though I was born with this condition and I’ve always been “hurting”, practically 24/7, it still hurts. (Like I have my better days and then I have my absolute bottoms just like anyone else - some days it’s harder to understand why I must bear with this kind of condition but since in my case it literally makes it worse, I’ve had to learn to look past it). But the worst part is… If I feel emotionally or mentally hurt, it shows on my body as well (usually it shows as bruising in my hands and small cuts, but if I feel hurt enough, it might even show up on my throat or face). I rolled up my sleeve a bit and - sure as hell - a big bruise was forming on my arm. I sighed. I knew that feeling agitated and worrying just made it worse but it’d be hard to hide huge bruise like that for long. And I didn’t really feel like explaining my condition to a complete stranger anyway. I rolled my sleeve back down and decided to keep my hoodie on. Just in case. ”That was pretty rude of you…” said a cold voice from the door. I startled and turned to the source of the voice and I swear that all the color drained from my face as I saw those emerald eyes again. ”I mean, Ya. I get it. U’re shy, but running off like that… Ain’t it a bit much, eh? Not like I’m gonna eat ya up.” said the man while leaning to the door frame. I couldn’t even gather my thoughts and he just scratched the back of his neck. ”I’m coming in, no fainting, ya hear?” RUN! I hesitated and started looking around me, trying to find a magic portal or something like that. Anything that could get me out of the situation. I was trapped. Fuck. He is gonna hurt me!? How dangerous is he!?” ”Oh”, he said and stopped with a surprised expression on his face. He tilted his head a bit and lifted a finger and pointed at my face. ”So you really have it too?” Huh? I felt something dripping on my face and turned to look in the window (there was no mirror in the room) and to my horror, I saw some bleeding above my eyes and huge bruise darkening around the corner of the same eye. By reflex I tried to hide it with my sleeve - of course I knew it at that very moment that it was for vain since he was the one who noticed it first but I felt extremely… confused, to my big surprise. More confused than hurt. ”No point in trying to hide it now, ya know?” The man said with a grin that was kinda hard to interpret. Was he making fun of me? ”Shut up! What would you know…!” I shouted. To my even bigger fucking surprise it actually made his smile turn to a bit kinder, I think. ”Nelly didn’t tell ya?” he said with a cheerful tone. ”And here I thought it was the only reason you wanted to meet my ugly mug!” (He insulted himself yet it sounded like he was actually bragging?) He rolled up his left sleeve and showed how a big portion of his arm had turned blue. ”I get bruised ridiculously easy too…!” … What? - - - To be continued - - -