#god i wrote this during class i hope i stayed on topic

[raposabranca]

Okay, I'm going to talk about this on my main art account because I haven't seen this being addressed yet (there are obviously other pressing matters) but I believe it deserves to be acknowledged both by art appreciators and artists alike:

ANIMATIC ISN'T WHAT YOU MAY THINK IT IS. "Fan animation" IS NOT called "Animatic".

This is not me being a snob, it's what the words were created for, and using them wrong may be misleading at best and upsetting/unrealistic at worst. Allow me to explain in as much detail as I can right now, so watch out for a long post:

ANIMATION, ANIMATIC, AND WHY IT MATTERS: THE LONG POST

First of all, remember that every animation is a film or video. Even if it's an animation that is composed by mostly static images and it may few weird to call it "animation", it's still a realized video or film (or MV - music video -, student film, etc)

Very roughly put and with many caveats as every studio/person is different, once the pre-production stage of an animation moves into production the process goes like this:

STORYBOARD: A storyboard is a graphic portrayal of a narrative, concept, or script, divided into sequential scenes (panels). Usually, it is done based on a written or roughly drawn script, and it serves to translate the story visually so placement, movement, timing, and camera angles are better understood or articulated. It's often done even for live-action movies.

They can be as detailed or as general, as clean and shaded or as scribbly as they can. Their point is being a visual sequential reference to the script.

Examples (more here):

Batman: The Animated Series opening

This Batman storyboard puts a lot of effort in making the images very clean and readable and in high contrast, which is useful in a noir series.

Super Mario Odyssey cinematic sequence

Mario is a lively series where depth, character silhouette, and fluidity are favored, so it's okay if the storyboard is scribbled if it's coherent to the movement and characters.

ANIMATIC: An animatic is a string of storyboard images edited together with sound to illustrate how a sequence will flow in motion. (...) [It] is basically an animated storyboard. The same images you’ve already created as a storyboard are now put into a video and can include dialogue, sound effects, and music. 

TL;DR it's a storyboard, that is, those static panels that can be as detailed or as rough as they must, put into motion and with added sound.

Animatics are useful to keep track of timing, placement, acting, etc, which you can't do very well with static images. They may contain placeholder images, stock photos, live-action acting frames, and even fully animated sequences that were previously done - whatever it's needed to help. Technically, some are animation. But they are, by definition, unfinished animation.

Examples:

Coco - "Un Poco Loco" finished animation vs animatic:

This is Pixar here and the animatic is scribbles. There is fluid, expressive animation there in order to communicate the livelihood of the sequence, but no more.

This wonderful thing:

Dan Harmon recorded a real court order discussion and drew the animatic on top of it, but he didn't intend to do a finished animation from this. Therefore, those are cleaned-up simple static drawings that still convey the absurdity of the video so it can be presented to the audience, like a sketch.

Mari Flexion's "Epiphany" , from the eponymous "fluff" extra from The Magnus Archives:

Like Harmon, Flexion never intended to fully animate this piece, but unlike Harmon - whose style is simpler and more cartoony - Flexion did this with time and in an elaborated style. There are moving parts and even simple animations in there, shadows and fully conveyed details like clothes and freckles. However, by the nature of being a sketch of an animation, it's an animatic.

ANIMATION: Once you have the storyboard and (if necessary) the animatic fully realized, the "animation" stage can start - this is the refining and production of what will become the final film. This stage is composed of many other stages that characterize how close to the final product something is. Stages will vary depending on the type of film you're doing, but Ill use some of my work to show some of the most common ones in 2D animation. (you'll notice that the timing changes from one place to another; that's because I'm only one person doing that on my pace and not a studio, and also I'm a gremlin)

Rough animation: The closest to animatic; some animatic can be considered rough animations:

Cleaned-up: Rough animation that has the final lineart/style that will be used in the end (sometimes static elements are already finished; animation can be weird)

Flat colors (or flats): Where the colors without effects/shadows/lights are added.

Final: With everything else (and here, because it's a video, it contains the music I timed everything on)

Originally posted here (final video) and here (work in progress gifs)

AND THEREIN THE ISSUES BEGIN

I've been observing in the last years that a lot of people are calling near-finalized, very-into-production animations "animatics". Not only fans are saying that, but sometimes artists themselves seem to consider stuff such as the following as animatics:

Shandzii's "It's tough to be a god" (original characters)

It could be argued this is a very elaborated animatic, but the amount of finished animation, detail and cleanness would put it at rough/almost clean-up animation.

@twinkle-art 's and @worldformula `s "The Magnus Archives - villain(빌런)"

This is a finished video, despite the lack of "animation" mostly.

SprectroliteAAA's "Death by Glamour - Mettaton vs. Frisk Fight"

This one has been bothering me for years now - it's a fantastic, almost fully realized rendition of this sequence, it's called "rough animation" in the opening, but it's called "animatic" on the title hhh

"But Branca," I can almost hear you say, "why does it matter?"

Well... it's not something that is urgent, or pressing, like I said before. AI- generated stuff and N/F/T/s are actual problems, but that's beside the point. Still, it's a trend that is becoming stronger, and the immediate issues I see are:

For artists: you'll look like a fool: No one is born knowing stuff, but that's inadequate vocabulary in artistic circles - especially in animation ones. If you call an animation "animatic" because it's digital, fanart, or a music video, it may sit wrong with people in the industry. You want to know which words mean what.

For art appreciators: it may sound derogatory: If someone posts their finalized film and you call it an animatic, it may rub the artist the wrong way. What if you wrote a whole fiction book and someone called it "your notes"? It's finalized work - call it for what it is.

For people who make/hire artwork: "But that's not what I/you asked for": The idea that animatics are "supposed" to get to more and more polished levels cause potential conflict between art professionals and costumers. The terms are laid out for clarity, and if "animatic" has a double meaning, people can be upset for getting "less" of what they wanted to get. Worse, calling animation/film "animatic" creates unrealistic market expectations. "Well X artist did that kind of animatic, can't you do that?" is a very hard situation to be in, as an artist. We may sell our work for crumbs just so we get the job, being exploited to do work we're not really supposed to due to a fiction.

For everyone: it can generate confusion and conflict: "Animatic" a term from the film industry. Some terms from some places may be redefined into something better or more appropriate, but this one creates miscommunication for the reasons mentioned about. Worse, it can create miscommunication between groups of people, particularly in fandom. Knowing the right words is the most conducive course of action.

Anyway, I hope this long ramble helped! Go spread the love for animatics and animations and videos all around!

[letsgetrowdy43]

Call Your Mom (Rowan’s Version)—

Adam fantilli x Sunny Hughes

Based on the song "Call Your Mom" by Noah Kahan (ft. Lizzy McAlpine)

I cut out a part of the song cause it gets a little too dark for what the fic is about

Warnings: Beware its angsty (lots of Emo Adam)!! Very dramatic and very unedited

Au Masterlist!!

Ro’s 1000-follower celly

“Oh, you're spiralin' again, the moment right before it ends you're most afraid of. But don't you cancel any plans, 'Cause I won't let you get the chance to never make them. Stayed on the line with you the entire night, 'Til you let it out and let it in”

“I hate losing,” Adam raked his hands through his hair, biting the inside of his cheek as he nodded along with the interviewer's questions, “it’s not a feeling I want to get used to.”

Sunny watched every post-game interview that featured Adam, but she had to stop this one half-through. The normal, cocky Adam was not present in this video, he looked discouraged and deflated, like he had been punched in the face before they pulled out the camera. A frown broke out on her face as she watched Adam teeter between keeping his composure and letting his emotions get the best of him.

She dialled his number quickly, scooting to the edge of her bed, as she pressed the phone to her ear. Her fingers pulled at the chapped skin of her lips as the line rang in her ear.

Adam picked up after a few rings, his voice tired as he mumbled a quick hello, “You saw the post-game?” He whispered, he sounded defeated, as he buried himself in his duvet. “I did.”

He let out a soft sigh as he sunk even further into the mattress, “It was embarrassing, this team is embarrassing,” he mumbled, voice rough with sleep as he groaned with annoyance. Sunny shook her head, “you’re passionate, it’s admirable,” she said, her tone genuine as he went silent on the other end, "it's normal to feel this way when you enter during a rebuild, it's gotta get worse before it gets better baby."

“I really don’t want to talk about this right now Sun, Sorry, I think I need to sleep or something,” he changed the topic, the annoyance that once filled his voice was now diminishing as she hummed in agreement. “Okay love, call me in the morning, I love you,” she said as the line went silent and he hung up.

Her heart was in her throat as she stared at her Home Screen of the two of them on his draft day, a notification popped up just seconds later.

“Sorry for hanging up, I’m being dramatic, love you too ❤️” he wrote causing her to let out a little laugh at his sweetness before she turned off her phone and finally crawled into her own bed.

★★

"Don't let this darkness fool you, all lights turned off can be turned on. I'll drive, I'll drive all night, I'll call your mom.”

Sunny wanted to be there at all times, but this was something she knew he needed to conquer on his own. So with the dry responses and the lack of communication she let him be for the time being, hoping that if he needed her he would know that she was always a call of text away.

“Have you heard from Adam in a few days?” Luca asked as they walked to their shared English class, his face full of worry as she shook her head, "Oh god, did you guys..." panic written all over his face as they stopped dead in the middle of the hallway to resume this conversation. “God no, I’m just trying to give him some space,” she frowned as she looked at the boy who had worried eyes, “I think he's feeling suffocated with the media and stuff, the same thing happened to Jack in his rookie year,” Luca nodded, "I just don't want to make him feel like I'm hovering."

"I don't think he could ever feel like you are hovering, he loves you a lot," Luca softly smiled as her face heated up. "I know," she said as they started walking down the hall again, needing to make it to class on time, "I just know he doesn't want to talk about it all the time, so if he needs me, he knows I'm here."

“I feel weird not hearing from him everyday,” he shrugged as she nodded sadly at him. “I hate it, but if he needs us he will reach out,” she shrugged, her tone unsure if she even believed her own words. Luca hummed in agreement, “I hope so.”

★★

“Oh, dear, don't be discouraged, I've been exactly where you are. I'll drive, I'll drive all night, I'll call your mom"

Another loss, it seemed repetitive at this point.

The promise of a better tomorrow is to be followed with an unfulfilled expectation. It was like clockwork, Adam's personal hell, and he was burning out quickly.

He scrolled aimlessly through his phone, wanting to get lost in something that wasn't the game for just a few minutes, needing just a moment of peace.

He ended up on Sunny's Instagram story, a picture of her at dance practice, a wide smile on her face as she did her sequence of turns perfectly and then turned to her friend and squealed with excitement. His heartstrings pulled a bit as he scrolled through her highlights, landing on the one of him and her, a collection of photos and videos of the two of them over the past year and a bit, of a timeline of their growing relationship.

"Thinking about you tonight my love, call me when you're feeling up to it” the text notification popped up on the top of his screen, as if she knew he needed her a little bit more at that moment. His eyes stung as the tears started to build up in his eyes as he rolled over forgetting about his phone, not feeling enough energy to text her back and silence the cries for help he was trying not to let out as he tried to get comfortable in his bed.

★★

"Stayed on the line with you the entire night, 'Til you told me that you had to go"

The next night he sat on the edge of his bed, scrolling through the numerous texts she had sent him through the week that never received a message back before dialling her number. His bottom lip pulled between his teeth as the phone rang in his ear.

Sunny heard a quiet sniffle on the other end as she picked up, "Hey baby," she said softly as he listened to his relieved sigh on the other end, "why are you up so late?" "Just missing you I guess," his hands ran over his face as he got his emotions under control, "just been having hard time and I feel bad," he whispered as the emotion in his voice came back again.

Sunny sat up in alert at the hurt in his voice, "I miss you too, much more than you know, do you wanna talk about what has you so upset?" she softly asked as he sighed. "I'm sure you already know Sun, it's just not how I expected it to be going, and it's upsetting," he mumbled as she hummed in agreeance. "I've been such a bad boyfriend and brother lately too, I feel like I'm falling apart over here," he groaned, staring aimlessly at the ceiling. "Me and Luca understand, okay? We just want you to be okay,” she said reassuringly, “I don’t want you to worry about us, we know that you love us, you could never hurt us, Adam”

He let out a sound of relief as he got comfortable under the covers of his bed, “get some rest babe, call me in the morning and we can talk some more if you need to,” she whispered, “love you” “Love you more than you’ll ever know Sunshine”

★★

“Don't let this darkness fool you, all lights turned off can be turned on. I'll drive, I'll drive all night, I'll call your mom”

Adam hung up the phone first, a quiet, defeated 'I love you' leaving his lips as he rolled over to get some sleep.

Their phone calls became nightly occurrences of him calling, filled with sad conversations and words of reassurance, her becoming one of the only people in his life that he felt comfortable enough to reach out to and vent to.

She looked at her bedside alarm clock, a big 8:34 pm staring at her as she sat with this unsettling feeling in her chest for a second.

She needed to see Adam.

“Oh, dear, don't be discouraged, I've been exactly where you are. I'll drive, I'll drive all night, I'll call mom”

Sunny shot out of her bed and found the closest bag to her, shoving random articles of clothing in her tote bag before finding her car keys and heading out the door.

The highway was empty, she was white-knuckling the steering wheel as her eyes fixed on the road in front of her, head so full of thoughts that the Phoebe Bridgers song that had replayed about twenty times hadn't even registered to her.

She finally took a deep breath the second she saw the "Welcome to Columbus" sign as she entered the city, not a thought bouncing around in her head other than seeing Adam and needing to get to Adam. She was on autopilot as she drove through the nearly empty streets, navigating her way through the roads before she found herself digging through her purse for her spare key card to his apartment building.

She finally came back to consciousness the moment she loudly knocked on his front door, hearing a tired “one second” from the other end before the door swung open to reveal a tired Adam standing on the other side.

“Sunny?” he mumbled as she collapsed into him, her arms wrapped around him as he just held her for a second, “why are you here? You were just in your bed?” Her hands bunched up the fabric of his t-shirt as his cheek rested on the top of her head “I just needed to see you,” she mumbled into his chest as she felt him begin to shake, sobs ripping through his throat as she pushed him further into his apartment and shut the door behind them.

They stayed like that for a few more minutes before she pulled away to wipe away his tears and pressed a kiss to his jaw, not missing the way he melted into it as he hummed at the sensation. “Let’s take a shower and get some rest,” she whispered, her voice choked up as she watched him nod and felt him squeeze her hip as she led him to the bathroom.

★★

"Medicate, meditate, swear your soul to Jesus. Throw a punch, fall in love, give yourself a reason. Don't wanna drive another mile wonderin' if you're breathin', so, won't you stay, won't you stay, won't you stay with me?"

Sunny woke up first, her fingers brushed over Adam's face as she admired the innocent look that filled his sleeping expression. She brushed his hair out of his eyes as her heart warmed at the way his unconscious self pulled her closer to his chest.

Her thumb ran over the stubble that was sprouting on his cheeks, fingers finding themselves in his outgrown hair at the back of his neck. Not missing the way his nose scrunched as he woke up, eyes fluttering open as he stared at the girl whose face was mere inches away from his.

"Morning," she whispered, he leaned forward slightly to kiss her temple before pulling him into his chest. "Thank you for coming here," he mumbled into her neck as she clung to his tired body, her warm breath hit his neck as she fought off the urge to smother him in kisses. "No need to thank me," she pulled away to look at him, straddling him slightly as he sat up against his headboard, "I will always come for you, I hope you know that."

Adam nodded, teary-eyed as he watched her face soften, his lips formed a straight line as he fixed her messy hair, tucking it behind her ears, "do you want to talk about it?" "I feel like it's all I do lately," he whispered, defeatedly as she shook her head. "Don't do that Adam, let yourself feel, it's a big change." "It's a big change that I don't think I can handle," his hands left her hips to dig the heels of his hands into his eyes to shield her from seeing the excessive amount of tears in his eyes.

"I am nothing without Hockey, I don't know myself without it, and I've put all of this on you" "I am okay with that Adam, I'm here to listen, I just want you to be okay." "But I'm not okay with it Sunny, I'm not okay with putting that all on you."

He let out a sigh as he rested his forehead against her shoulder, her hands cradled the back of his head, holding him for a second as he searched for the right words. "I think I need to find my purpose," he pulled away and looked at the girl who watched him with furrowed brows, "on my own, for now. I think I need to learn to deal with all of this without putting this strain on you and our relationship"

Sunny stared at him for a second before nodding her head, trying to be really strong for him as she removed her hands from his face, "Okay," she said with tears in her eyes as she removed herself from his lap, "if this is what you need then I'm okay with it," she tried to smile but her lips began to tremble. "Please don't be mad at me I just-" she shook her head and grabbed his hand reassuringly. "I could never be mad at you for needing space or breaking up with me to better yourself, Adam, I just want the best for you," she whispered as his hands moved up to wipe away the tears rolling down her cheeks.

He sniffled as she looked at him with a weak smile, "I love you, I hope you know that," he whispered as she nodded. "I know, I love you too," she said as he pulled her in for a hug, taking in a deep breath while his senses became overwhelmed with her.

He walked her to his front door, awkward silence between the two of them as she stood there staring at him, unsure of how to say goodbye. Tears in his eyes as she took a deep breath, "Don't be a stranger, if you need help or to talk, call me, I will always answer," she said as he nodded.

★★

"Don't let this darkness fool you, all lights turned off can be turned on I'll drive, I'll drive all night. I'll call your mom"

"He did what?" Luca nearly dropped the beer can in his hands as Sunny stood next to him, nursing the whiteclaw in her hands as she nodded.

She didn't want to get into the confusion of it all here, in the middle of some frat party that she had been dragged to just a few days after Adam asked for space. She wasn't even fully sure if it was a breakup, or if they were just on a break until Adam figured things out.

So many unanswered questions and Sunny was too drunk at this second to find the explanations.

"Just please check up on him and stuff for me," is all she said before she hugged the boy and headed to where her friends were on the other side of the room.

Luca stood in shock for a second as he looked at Gavin and Nick who looked at him with confusion, "Why do you look like that?" Rutger laughed as he nudged Luca in the side. "Adam broke up with Sunny?" he said in disbelief as he watched the boy's faces fall.

★★

"Oh, dear, don't be discouraged, I've been exactly where you are. I'll drive, I'll drive all night. I'll call your mom"

Adam stared at her contact for a second, his thumb hovering over the call button as he fought off the urge to call her and just spill his guts.

He knew he made the right decision, he knew this was what he needed, but it also felt so wrong to not have the chance or the freedom to just reach out and talk to her. Not just about his shit season, or how he's been feeling better, he just wanted to hear her speak.

He missed her voice, her face, her laugh, he missed it all.

He stared at his phone before he dialled a number and put the phone up to his ear, his heart beating in his chest as the phone rang.

it rang

and rang

and rang a third time before she finally answered.

He heard a cheery hello on the other side as his stomach untied itself from the knots it had previously been in

"Hi Mom," he said, relief filling his voice as he heard her excitement at his call, "do you have time to listen, I need to talk?"

-

-

-

This is soooo dramatic :)) I'm sorry for the emotional damage this may cause to the Sunny and Adam lovers out there!! But uh yeah don't hate me for literally ruining my little angels

[kun-summacumlaude]

SUMMA CUM LAUDE? #17

Happy New Year!!!

I could have started this post with so many things considering I abandoned you all for close to a year. (8 months is closer to a year than you think). Honestly I’m sorry for the terrible inconsistency, once the strike got called off the rest of the semester happened so quickly, I had no time to do anything but school because I didn’t pick up a book for 6 months and all of a sudden, exams were knocking on the door. I was in soup.

Strike Recap

I took a data science course and built an improved version of an old web app I made for CS50. I did a lot of drumming and singing. That’s about it.

Back to School

So I just read my last post. I sounded so ungrateful when I was talking about getting a 4.88 just because it wasn’t the 4.93 I had hoped for. Plus I said everyone should study during the holiday, LOOOOOL. The current holiday I said I’m not reading anything o, even though the initial plan was to study. I’m enjoying Breaking Bad a little too much to study right now.

I don’t like how I can’t put things in detail due to my inconsistency. I PROMISE to do better this semester. First week back in school, we took our EEG213 test and before I submitted that day, I knew I was done for. I actually told my siblings I could get 5/20 and was hoping for a 10/20. After that I wrote a bunch of other tests and they were all better. Some were shaky but I didn’t feel hopeless after any other one. MEG211 was terrible though, it was Isometric to Orthographic projection and I used the wrong side as the Front. My lecturer barely came to class all semester and he never mentioned the rule for deciding your front elevation. A day before the test, he sent the slide for that particular topic to us and we followed the pattern in the slide, that was my undoing. There was a rule and not a “pattern”. My desire was to get all As but after concluding my tests, I wasn’t confident, only hopeful.

When tests were done, the only things left were exams. 300-500 Level started two weeks before 100-200 Level. The initial rumour was that we would write in January and I was happy but after concluding exams on the 23rd of December, I was so happy that didn't happen. Before exams, I saw the Unilag overnight culture in full flow. Also, the World Cup was happening at the same time. And the last issue, where to study. Last exam I was at a private hostel, I never thought about where to study but being on campus, it was a problem.

Studying in my hostel during the World Cup was challenging because as a football fan who stayed away from the screen at Jaja's Quadrangle, I couldn't block out the noise and of course I would want to know what was happening. That was one place to study, on my bed in the room. The second place was the office at Arts. During exams I just did not go there at all because it was packed, I'm not the only one that goes there and I'm down the pecking order if I'm being honest, it wasn't going to work. So I asked a friend in 400 Level Finance where he studied and he said AKT. AKT isn't bad, you just need a good spot but it wasn't going to work for me in the long run (I had to eat, toilet and all that. The distance was too much), I went there only two times. That's three place's now. A fourth place which never took off was my relative's office at Architecture, he was busy outside so he wasn't available. And finally, the last minute place I am really thankful for: The Faculty.

I don't know of it was deliberate but Room 115 was always free, it really mattered to me during the exams, plus they began to open classes for overnight which meant I could stay and study till 11pm which was how I liked to do if. Electrical and Civil classes but on weekends they were locked which gave me serious problems. Weekends were terrible and I had to manage my room. We Thank God in the end.

Overnight Culture

I am not a fan. Simple and short. I prefer to study through the day and sleep well at night so I can start my day in the morning, works much better for me. Lots of people study overnight and I just can't. Do what works for you, it's all self discipline. Overnight is also an avenue to deceive yourself. If you can't focus on your books around a particular person or people, don't try to study with them, you'll waste your time and regret it in the end. Important PS: Stop Littering! Overnight guys were so dirty gosh. And the classes had bins. Sad. I almost forgot. The scary thing about overnight was the consumption of Energy Drinks. The rate of consumption was crazy, I'm sure they sold thousands of bottles during exams. If you can't stay up at night to study even with prior sleep, help yourself by studying during the day. It was honestly scary to see because those drinks are sugar.

Examinations

I started my exams on the 17th of December, MEG211 being the first paper. It was 3 hours long, enough time in my opinion but I was under so much tension I made mistakes in three different drawings so I had to do all three of them twice. This affected my Isometric Drawing, I couldn't complete my Isometric Circle. It hurt but I had to move on because I had 9 other papers to prepare for. —Before I move on, it pays to study through the semester and not try to work magic through overnight. Put in the effort. — I enjoyed my sleep during exams, I didn't even use an alarm except for the last day because it was different from others. Two exams on Monday, one on Tuesday, two on Wednesday, one on Thursday and three on Friday (7am). EEG213, the bane of my semester was actually really great. The exam was one of my best papers. Hopefully the results match. Wednesday was crazy, we had Strength of Materials and Engineering Mechanics back to back. It was a lot of writing and drawing my goodness, but both exams went well. After Wednesday I relaxed a bit because I was done with the scary part of exams. Little did I know, EEG211 people were about to do me dirty shege.

So Friday the special day was special because we had EEG211 and EEG231 at 7am, you'd start one and do the other in one sitting. Being the serious student I am and wanting few minutes to prepare for my paper at 9am, I got to DLI very early that day. I logged in, did everything and started my paper. On the first page I saw questions on Sinusoidal Steady State Analysis (which we were not taught! It wasn't mentioned in class) so I skipped those questions and did the 9/15 on that page that I knew. On getting to the second page. I heard the Invigilator say "PART OF THE RULES IS THAT YOU CANNOT GO BACK". EXCUSE ME WHAT?!! Something actually left me the moment I heard that, it was like I saw the A flying away from me because I was so prepared for everything we were taught. I couldn't believe the Lecturers would take away the option to go back to questions you skipped in an EXAMINATION. We has 35 questions and 25 minutes, of course I wouldn't want to spend a second on questions I'm not sure of if there are questions I could answer in much quicker time. They gave us little time and took away our flexibility without informing us and I guess it was sweet to them, it made them happy because they all say they want us to do well but they act differently. What even made me more upset was the Invigilator saying "Part of examination is to read the instructions". Here me out, THERE WERE ZERO INSTRUCTIONS ON THE SCREEN. It was just login and start, nothing said about anything, we were set up real bad. And in the heat of it all, before I moved to page 3, it was 15-15-10. I checked all 15 questions to be sure I didn't skip anything, on getting to the third page, I saw that I actually skipped a 7th question. I couldn't believe I checked twice and still missed it. This whole thing flattened me. In the end I answered 28/35 questions, let's say it's over 60. That means I'm fighting for a 48/60. At this point I don't know how I'm going to get an A but I'll just continue to pray and trust in God. We had two tests, first was meh and second was good. I attended all classes and did all assignments so we'll see.

EEG231 was also a nonsense exam really. 40 questions and 20 minutes. Made no sense. I guessed a lot and I also have to just wait hopefully that this result also surprises me. Asides these two, the rest were okay.

Second semester starts in less than a week, I will be here preparing myself mentally while I complete Breaking Bad.

Turned 20 yesterday, Grateful to God.

I've attached a picture that shows my progress in how I felt about each course from time to time based on exam reading. The last ones were just before the exam. The ones with arrows shows a change after the exam. I've put two Bs there but I pray God surprises me.

Bye for now. I’m thinking one every two months. Don’t want to put up short posts every week you know.

[diazactually]

if you’re still doing the sleepover: buddie + first ‘i love you’

you know what i’m literally gonna write a little ficlet for you about that😌

it’s a mess, since i wrote this in like one sitting but it’s just for fun and the idea wouldn’t leave me alone🥰

buddie + first ‘i love you’

fluff, established relationship

He was standing in the kitchen by the sink, working his way through the dirty dishes which despite his best efforts kept sneakily piling up during the day. He didn’t understand when or why Christopher picked up the habit of using a new glass each time he wandered into the kitchen to drink during a quick break from playing video games with his friends, this was the fourth one and he literally did the dishes last night. He will have to have a conversation with his son about that. And on top of that, it wasn’t even his turn to do the dishes. Buck volunteered to do them after breakfast and then disappeared without a word, which, rude. It’s been over an hour.

Eddie was considering calling Sophia just to have some company until he’s done with his chore when he heard the front door suddenly open and close with probably a bit too much force. About time, he thought, as he quickly dried his hands with the kitchen cloth, turning around just in time to see Buck enter the kitchen with a wide grin on his face and two cups of coffee in a holder in his hand.

“Well, well, well. He lives! I thought I would have to sick Athena on you,” he said as he folded his arms over his chest, settling against the kitchen counter.

At that Buck stopped, taking in the situation. Eddie saw the exact moment he came to a conclusion after his eyes went from Eddie’s raised eyebrow to the half-done dishes in the sink and his expression turned sheepish.

“Sorry. I had to go and pick up something real quick.’ he said with an apologetic smile. ‘But! I come bearing beverage!” he added as he pulled out one of the takeaway cups from the holder and presented it to him with a bow, his smile turning teasing. This goof. “Black, just like your heathen self likes it,” Well.

“You cannot talk. You drink sugary milk with a tad bit of coffee,” he deadpanned but decided to take the coffee as a peace offering.

“Lies,” Buck replied while taking a sip of his own cup before setting it down on the counter. “Anyways! Let’s move on to more pressing topics! You and Chris are free tomorrow, right?” his boyfriend asked excitedly, eyes sparkling, giving the perfect imitation of a golden retriever puppy wagging it’s tail.

“Uh, yeah. I was thinking maybe we could set up the inflatable pool in the garden. Chris has been pestering me about it and it’s not really a one-man job,” It’s not like he can ever say no to Chris when he wants to try something and they bought the pool in the beginning of the pandemic but never got around to setting it up. The only person who might be even worse at denying Chris’s wishes is Buck so it’s not like they ever really stood a chance. Eddie can’t seem to feel bothered by it though.

“That’s great! But actually I was thinking something else,” Buck grinned, basically vibrating with excitement as he pulled something out from his pocket and trusted it in Eddie’s face who amusedly took one of the three somethings from his boyfriend so he could actually see what it is. And when he did he almost choked on his own spit.

“Are these—?”

“Tickets for the aquarium!” Buck exclaimed, doing a little hop he always does when he is overjoyed. “Chris has been talking about it nonstop saying how several new exhibitions had been added while it was closed for the pandemic. And you said how you wanted to take him to the reopening tomorrow since it’s much safer now but they were sold out of tickets in minutes.” He remembered the heartbroken look on his son face and how much he wanted to do anything to make it go away. “Both of you were so heartbroken about it that I couldn’t let it go and so I had an alert set for the websites people go on to sell their tickets if they decide not to use them. I didn’t have high hopes because the aquarium gave out such a limited amount of tickets but guess what! I managed to buy three tickets so we can all go tomorrow!”

“You did?” he asked softly looking up to take in his boyfriend.

“Yeah, but don’t tell Chris! It has to be a surprise! He deserves it, he’s got an A in most of his classes so this could be the perfect opportunity to celebrate,” Buck said as he began reading the text on the backside of one of the other tickets, starting on the research that inevitably will follow later.

Eddie barely even registered reaching a hand out to cup Buck’s face to turn it up so his boyfriend’s gaze met his, surprise painting his features. And for a second he only stared at him. The need to just pull him into Eddie’s arms and cherish him forever was overwhelming as he leaned in to softly press their lips together. He just stayed there for a moment, breathing in the sweet scent of Buck’s cologne, tasting the sinfully oversweetened coffee on his tongue, just taking it in, all his senses focusing on Buck, Buck, Buck, before he pulled away and leaned back to look the other man in his beautiful, stunnigly blue eyes.

“Gosh, I love you,” he said, sweeping the stray locks off Buck’s forehead, running his eyes over his features as the other man gave off a choked sound. He loved Buck. He thought of how this realisation sneaked up on him slowly, moment by moment as they spent time together. There wasn’t any other possible outcome, they were headed here all along. Every conversation they had where day by day the topics became deeper, every selfless act of service which they did for the other without having to be asked, ever since the beginning, every movie night which forged their little family unit of three.

He was brought out of his thoughts by smooth lips pressing to his and his face being cradled so gently. Seems like somebody caught up as well.

“You love me,” Buck breathed after they pulled away but only barely, their lips still brushing as they formed words. His voice barely a whisper, full of wonder.

“I do,” he said, moving his other hand up to tenderly slide his thumb over his boyfriend’s temple.

“You love me!” Buck said again giddily, sounding more sure now, understanding the words for what they are and letting them settle over him.

“Yes, I’m aware,” Eddie chuckled.

“You said it first.” God, he was such a dork. And Eddie couldn’t do anything but love him all the more for it. He was hopeless, but when he was with Buck that thought didn’t scare him, when he was with Buck he wasn’t filled with dread over being vulnerable because he knew that no matter what came, Buck would catch him.

He felt hands on his face, felt them pulling it backwards so he was forced to look into the eyes of the man he adored and he was met with a blinding smile and a softness in his boyfriend’s eyes that he knew his own reflected perfectly. “I love you too,” Buck said, giving Eddie’s lips a gentle peck, his fingers running through his hair. “So much.”

And they stayed there, holding each other while trading soft kisses and even softer words, as the dishes sat in the sink, long forgotten.

[dynyamight]

meet cute number 47 is interesting!

send me a writting ask

47. Texting the incorrect number but continuing the conversation.

“You got all that, right?” Shinsou asks, readjusting his stance, so others can leave their classroom door easily.

Midoriya hums absentmindedly. He’s still quickly jotting down the last few digits onto his planner. “And, you said tomorrow morning, around 7? At the library?”

“Yeah,” Shinsou shrugs, “Or anytime really. The deadline isn’t until next month, you know.”

“I kinda just want to get it done, as soon as possible.”

Shinsou breathes out a snort. “Figured you’d say that much. Just make sure you got my number. Repeat it, if you need to.”

“No time.” Midoriya drops his bag to the side, shoving his now closed notebook inside. “Thank you! I’ll text you later tonight!” He offers hurriedly, before taking off down the campus halls.

Shinsou’s warning falls deaf to his rushed mind.

He has to run the entire way, in order to graciously catch the last bus for the hour. Sweaty and flushed, Midoriya slumps into his seat in relief. Fortunately, he was able to cop a seat for himself, settling by the window and his backpack right next to him.

Staring out, Midoriya tries to remind himself of the rest of his priorities he needed to do.

He still needed to start on Doctor Chiyo’s online Physiology exam, and gather his notes for the open book portion. It was a bit bothersome to handle tests online, but if the rest of class prefers it, there’s nothing Midoriya can do about it.

Speaking of which, Ochako had requested for copies of those exact same notes, since apparently she barely writes anything during lectures. He wants to suggest to her to just simply take better notes, but alas, he will gladly help her out.

And, finally, Midoriya has to collect reliable, approved research articles for his and Shinsou’s debate, in their argumentative project in Communications. Being assigned “PRO SOCIAL MEDIA INFLUENCE”, while being the most uninvolved people on the internet, Midoriya and Shinsou had a lot of work to do.

Not to mention it was already 18:00 by the time he reached the school’s dormitories. And yet, he needed to shower, make dinner, water his plants, and watch the newest episode of his favorite drama, airing tonight.

University was eating him alive.

Thankfully, he’s able to complete half of his list.

He finishes the exam with a 98%, and quickly snaps the pages of his notes over to Ochako and Iida, making sure to highlight the main topics questioned in the exam. Ochako sends a ‘thank you’ gif, and Iida texts a long, yet endearing message of gratitude.

Midoriya doesn’t have time to shower, instead blasting the TV volume loud, as he waters his indoor plants at the same time. He overwaters them a little bit, busy glancing back at the screen for too long. But, at least he’s able to watch the episode. He pouts when it ends on a cliffhanger, almost drowning his bonsai tree in frustration.

He’s only able to warm up a plate of leftovers, and read through only one research article, by the time it’s already blinking 21:30 on his phone. Sighing, Midoriya closes his laptop and grabs his cell phone instead.

An all nighter wasn’t preferable. But, if Shinsou is working overtime at his late night job, Midoriya supposes he can stay up and keep looking through more articles, until he has at least the required ten.

Flipping open his planner, Midoriya inputs Shinsou’s number into his phone. He adds his name, a contact photo of him sleeping, and finally taps a quick message.

(21:38) < You working?

When Shinsou doesn’t respond right away, Midoriya simply sets aside his phone on his desk. Stretching his arms, he sighs in defeat, now expecting Shinsou to be stuck at work.

He’s never worked at a restaurant, but he bets Friday nights can get pretty busy. And, Shinsou always complains that group outings and dates tend to stay over, even after the place is supposed to close. And, Midoriya trusts his word.

So, by the time his phone dings, Midoriya has been clicking through more articles on social media, bookmarking a few to go over later, as he went.

He lifts his phone, and with a bright screen, a message stares back at him.

shinsou hitoshi (21:58) > Who’s this

Oh, he did forget to specify. But, Midoriya smiles, having a small prank in mind. There was no harm in teasing his friends, let alone Shinsou, who definitely needed a good laugh, now and then.

(21:58) < It's the cutie from your communications class ;)

shinsou hitoshi (21:58) > So, no one

(21:59) < Haha! I guess you’re right about that

(21:59) < Anyways, it’s Izuku! You still working late, Hitoshi?

shinsou hitoshi (21:59) > This ain’t Hitoshi

Midoriya's face drops, blinking. Oh god, did he mistype the number?

(21:38) < Wait, you’re not???

Another text pops up, shortly after.

shinsou hitoshi (22:02) > You got the wrong number

Embarrassment burning his entire face red, Midoriya wishes he could delete himself from the world.

(22:03) < I’m so so so so sorry!

(22:03) < God, I thought I wrote down my friend’s number right

(22:03) < But, I was in this stupid rush to get on the bus that I didn’t make sure

(22:04) < And, listen, if I had missed that bus, I would’ve had to wait

(22:04) < Not like a few minutes wait

(22:04) < Like, a whole two hours wait!

shinsou hitoshi (22:05) > I didn’t ask

Deleting the conversation, Midoriya erases the new contact completely. And instead, he looks back to his planner, and retypes the numbers in his phone onto a new conversation.

Hopefully, he has typed the correct series of digits.

(22:07) < Hey, Hitoshi! It’s Izuku

unknown (22:08) > ...

unknown (22:08) > What the actual fuck

unknown (22:08) > You've still got the wrong number, you goddamn idiot

Slamming his phone onto his desk, Midoriya grabs a pillow off his bed and shoves it in his face. The temptation to scream sounds awfully pleasant, but it’s too late at night to do so. His dorm neighbors would definitely wonder what the hell is wrong with him.

What’s wrong? Oh, he has completely done one of the most dreaded imaginary scenarios in his head; text a complete stranger. Twice.

What was he supposed to do now? Never text back? Delete it? Block it?

How is he supposed to contact Shinsou now?

His phone dings again.

Lifting the pillow off his face slightly, Midoriya eyes his phone warily from his swivel chair.

That definitely wasn’t supposed to happen. Another text from the same stranger sounds a bit unheard of.

After a seconds-long hesitation, Midoriya lifts his phone and opens it once more.

unknown (22:13) > Double check next time

unknown (22:13) > You can fucking wait the two hours, dumbass

Midoriya grows a little irked. He has a bad feeling that his stranger isn’t too friendly, to say that least.

There was literally no reason to text back something so rude.

(22:14) < Well, that wasn’t nice

unknown (22:15) > Wasn’t trying to be

(22:15) < ..Are you always like this?

unknown (22:16) > Pretty much

(22:16) < That’s sad

unknown (22:17) > What’s fucking sad is that I was woken up from my sleep

unknown (22:17) > Because a damn moron didn’t write down the right number

Midoriya winces. He hadn’t even thought about the other person’s predicament, let alone if he had interrupted anything.

(22:20) > I really didn’t mean to do that, I’m sorry :(

unknown (22:22) > Yeah whatever

(22:24) > You should try to go back to sleep, then

unknown (22:25) > I was

unknown (22:25) > But the same moron from before keeps texting me

(22:27) > Who?

(22:33) > Oh.

(22:33) > It’s me, huh?

unknown (22:34) > No shit

(22:35) > Right, of course. My bad!

(22:35) > I’m going to just stop now

unknown (22:36) > Thanks

(22:36) > For the umpteenth time, sorry! ><

(22:37) > Okay, Okay! I’m stopping now, for real

Midoriya desperately needs to call it a night.

After going through his nightly routine, he slips under his bedsheets, exhausted. He sets an alarm for 5:00 on his phone, hoping Shinsou will show up at the library, regardless of the missing confirmation text on Midoriya’s end.

He keeps his phone on awhile longer, swiping through his professors’ emails, before a surprising text notification pops in front of him.

unknown (23:01) > FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

(23:02) > …

(23:02) > What was that for??

unknown (23:04) > I CAN’T SLEEP

unknown (23:04) > GOD, I CAN’T GO BACK TO FUCKING SLEEP

unknown (23:05) > AND IT’S YOUR FAULT

(23:06) > What do you expect me to do????

unknown (23:07) > HAHAHAHA OH DON’T WORRY

unknown (23:07) > IF I CAN’T SLEEP, NEITHER CAN YOU

unknown (23:08) > AND IF YOU TURN YOUR PHONE OFF I WILL SEND HELLFIRE

(23:09) > Wait

(23:09) > No, please

(23:09) > My alarm is on my phone, I need it on

(23:10) > I need to go to an important meeting for a group project at 7:00!

unknown (23:10) > Aw, really? :0?!

(23:11) > Yeah! I really do!

unknown (23:11) > Sike. I don’t fucking care

unknown (23:12) > Hope you eat shit tomorrow

(23:13) > ..Why are you like this?

(23:13) > I could literally be a twelve year old, for all you know

unknown (23:14) > I doubt fucking twelve years do group projects

unknown (23:15) > But whether you’re a damn infant, or grown adult, I hate you

(23:16) > I wouldn’t say I hate you. That’s too harsh

(23:16) > But, wow, you are very unlikable :/

unknown (23:17) > That’s the fucking nicest thing anyone has said about me

(23:18) > It wasn’t supposed

(23:19) > Nevermind.

(23:19) > Do you have any friends? Just might as well ask

unknown (23:21) > Surprisingly yeah

(23:22) > Oh, so you also agree. That it’s a surprise

(23:22) > At least you’re self aware :0

unknown (23:23) > Yeah, they are annoying as hell

unknown (23:24) > But, also pretty good people, I guess

(23:25) > Pretty good or pretty dumb?

unknown (23:26) > SHUT IT

unknown (23:27) > Only I can make fun of them

unknown (23:27) > You. Don’t.

(23:28) > You’re right, I shouldn’t have said that

(23:29) > I’m sorry :(

unknown (23:30) > You like apologizing, huh

(23:29) > There’s a lot to apologize for tonight

unknown (23:30) > Still, you don’t have to say it every damn minute

(23:32) > You probably don’t ever apologize

unknown (23:33) > Fuck no

(23:35) > Right, of course

(23:36) > Well, you know what I need to do tomorrow

unknown (23:37) > Unfortunately

(23:38) > What about you?

unknown (23:39) > I’m covering a shift at my shit job at the ass crack of dawn

(23:40) > Unnecessary visual, but I digress

(23:40) > Uh, where do you work?

unknown (23:42) > No. I don’t even know your damn name

(23:43) > I told you?? It was in my first text

unknown (23:44) > Yeah, I ain’t scrolling

(23:48) > Well, it’s Izuku. Midoriya Izuku :)

unknown (23:49) > Great. I still ain’t giving you mine

(23:50) > ?? Is there anything I can know about you??

(23:50) > You know more about me, than I do about you

unknown (23:51) > You know I hate you

unknown (23:51) > That’s plenty

(23:52) > But, I have been staying up for you :(

unknown (23:53) > Because it’s your fault I can’t sleep

(23:54) > You aren’t feeling sleepy yet?

unknown (23:56) > ..Are you

(23:57) > I asked you first

unknown (23:58) > I asked you second

(23:59) > That

(23:59) > Look, it’s almost midnight

(24:00) > Oh, now, it’s actually midnight

unknown (00:01) > I have fucking eyes. I can see the time

(00:02) > And we BOTH have places to be tomorrow

(00:02) > So, let’s just sleep. Call a truce, please

unknown (00:03) > What about my petty retribution

(00:04) > PLEASE LET ME SLEEP

unknown (00:10) > FUCK

unknown (00:10) > FINE

unknown (00:11) > I STILL CAN’T SLEEP BUT WHATEVER

unknown (00:12) > HOPE YOU FUCKING OVERSLEEP TOMORROW

The rest of the night, Midoriya hears his phone go off, but he doesn’t bother to open the messages. Fortunately for him, the time staying awake quickly catches up to his body, the moment he shuts his eyes. And, in an instant, he falls asleep, heavy.

However, he’s jolted awake by the ringing of his phone, the tone alerting him of an incoming phone call. Banging his head on the headboard, Midoriya blindly grabs and answers his phone. “Uh, H-Hello?” He blurts quickly.

“Tch.” A low voice emits, “You owe me, Deku.”

Click. The phone call ends.

Confused, Midoriya hurriedly rubs his eyes open. Running his messy curls through his fingers, he lifts his bangs up, in order to correctly look at the time.

The time was 5:10. And, his 5:00 alarm had been off the entire time.

And, instead, that same unknown number from last night was his saving grace.

[atlabeth]

death by a thousand cuts - asami x fem!reader

i listened to this playlist while i wrote this in case you wanna feel my pain while you read this 

summary: in which you and asami fall out of love.

wc: 3.1k 

a/n: good god i am so sorry

warning(s): so much angst. breakups. falling out of love. crying. there is no happy ending 

based off of death by a thousand cuts by taylor swift | gif credit

breaking up with asami sato was the hardest thing y/n ever had to do.

she had never met anyone more.. perfect. 

her raven hair that she loved to tangle her hands in, the emerald green eyes that sparkled whenever she smiled, her infectious laughter that never failed to brighten y/n’s day. the confidence she carried herself with was extremely attractive, and it was one of the first things that caught y/n’s eye.

she never understood her long-winded rants about engineering or what was going on in the business world, but she would listen to her girlfriend read the phonebook if it meant she could hear her talk about something so passionately. the way that she put her full heart into everything she did, the way she loved so fully, it was impossible not to fall for her. 

asami was the smartest, kindest, most beautiful woman that y/n had ever met in her life, and it tore her apart to have to let her go. if someone took a knife to her heart a thousand times then ripped it out of her body, it still wouldn’t hurt as much as losing asami. 

but that was the thing about falling out of love. it wasn’t her fault, it wasn’t asami’s fault. it just.. happened.

and it was terrifying.

at first it wasn’t obvious. they were both college students with full lives, so they knew things were going to be busy. y/n was doing an unpaid internship at her dream job in hopes that she would be able to work her way up the ladder, while working another part time to keep herself afloat. asami had always said if she had any money troubles she would be more than willing to help, but y/n preferred to be able to support herself. she never denied an opportunity for her girlfriend to spoil her though. asami was working with her family business and it took a lot of time up as well. combine that with their classes, it was a miracle that they had any free time at all. 

but they made time. any spare moment they had was spent together. they always made it back to the apartment at the end of the day, and they would stay up far later than they should’ve to make up for the time apart. whether it was cooking something together at 2am and making a mess of the kitchen or telling each other about their day or just laying together in bed in each other’s embrace while they fell asleep, they did it together. 

together, together, together. 

there was no better place to be. because when they were together, asami and y/n could face the world. 

people envied them. hardworking women that managed to do it all, high school sweethearts that had been madly in love for years ever since they met their junior year. they danced around the topic of marriage, never fully stepping onto it, but both knew that it was something they wanted. they both thought they were going to be together till the end, so they had plenty of time before they took the plunge. 

y/n didn’t know that asami looked at engagement rings in her spare time, trying to think of one that her girlfriend would love, something that would be able to express how badly asami wanted to spend the rest of her life with y/n. 

asami didn’t know that y/n had a folder of numbers for wedding planners, caterers, musicians, lists of people that would work at a wedding or a reception. the thought of proposing was on her mind constantly, and she wanted to be able to express how badly she wanted to spend the rest of her life with asami. 

but things started to change.

late nights got later, and they no longer ended every day at the apartment. asami had to start going on business trips — future industries was in trouble, and she had to do everything to keep it afloat. this business was her livelihood, her family’s life work, and she couldn’t let it go. y/n understood and was nothing but supportive at first — she knew who her girlfriend was, and she admired her work ethic. 

but the time apart did something to them. just like their love slipping away, it wasn’t noticeable at first. small. but it grew, and the cracks started to form in their perfect relationship. 

asami had been called away on another business trip, this time to the fire nation to try and negotiate some kind of deal between another company. it was taking much longer than expected, so calls like these had become a regular. they would usually start after y/n got home from work, and they would just.. be with each other. sometimes they talked for hours, sometimes they just sat and got their respective tasks done — it was easier when they knew that the other was there. 

y/n was in the worst mood today. she had spent the last ten minutes ranting about the horrible day she had at work, and how she didn’t earn nearly enough to pay for the classes that she took, and textbooks should not be this expensive, and unpaid internships were bullshit. asami was being the same helpful angel as always, but for some reason y/n couldn’t stand it today. 

“y/n, if you’re having money troubles, you know that i can help you. i want to help you, all you have to do is ask! you don’t have to work these insane hours and stress yourself out.”

“asami, how many times do i have to tell you that i don’t need it? how many times have i told you that i want to be able to forge my own path? i don’t- i don’t need you to baby me.” she regretted the words as soon as they left her lips. they had come out so much harsher than she meant and it was obvious by the moment of silence that it had hurt asami. they didn’t have many arguments, so when they did their jabs hit hard, even when they were the smallest of things. 

“i’m not trying to baby you, i’m trying to help my girlfriend so she doesn’t have to worry constantly about money! i mean, what’s the point of having a fortune if you can’t use it to help others? i love you, y/n, and i want to h-” 

“i don’t need your help, asami!” she didn’t mean to yell. she never liked yelling — the couple had always been able to work out their problems before with a level head and talking normally — but this just slipped out. the silence that followed after was deafening, and y/n let out a sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose. “i— i’m sorry. i have to go.” 

y/n was about to hang up, but even during fights she didn’t leave without saying it. especially when her girlfriend was in another country, she couldn’t leave without saying it. “..i love you too, asami. goodnight.” 

that was the first sign that things were going downhill. they never had arguments over something as petty as this — y/n wasn’t jealous of asami in any way, she was proud, and her girlfriend succeeding made her happier than anything — but lately it felt like mishaps like this were happening more and more often. 

y/n passed it off as stress from the job — for some reason, asami offering to help just made her take even longer hours — but deep down, she knew. something was changing between her and her girlfriend, and she didn’t like it. 

the things that she used to find endearing were now annoying. she began to tune out asami’s rants about the business world, and her confidence started to come off as cockiness. she was snapping more and more often and found it scary how easily their conversations now irked her.

the same things were happening on asami’s side. she used to love y/n’s brazenness and how she said whatever came to mind, but now it just bothered her. the independence she once admired was getting to her as well — why couldn’t she just accept her help? asami had money, she was willing to help, but she was met with the same stubbornness every time. it was tiring. 

their calls that used to occur every night and last for hours became far and in between, replaced by goodnight texts and i love you’s. and even those ceased -- it wasn’t uncommon for them to go whole days without talking while asami was away. and the worst thing? it didn’t bother her. y/n used to not be able to go an hour without talking to her in some way, but now she was just.. okay with it. 

asami could feel y/n slipping through her fingers, but she couldn’t do anything about it. because she was slipping away as well. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

they couldn’t keep going like this.

both women were ignoring the problem. it was partially out of shock, but mostly out of fear. how could they have lost their love like that? the flame that they tended together, the wild, passionate flame that was their love, had gone out. what were they supposed to do? what could they do? 

asami was coming home today. y/n would normally pick her up and they would greet each other with the biggest hug and kiss, and then they would spend the entire ride home talking each other’s ears off. but not this time. this time, asami did it all herself. drove herself to and from the airport, taking the parking fees over y/n driving her. she was surprised at how much she enjoyed the silence on the ride home, but it gave her time to think. too much time to think about what was going on with her and her girlfriend. 

but she already knew the answer. 

asami fidgeted with the key into the apartment and pushed the door open, trailing a suitcase behind her as she walked into the empty room. “y/n?” she called, only being met with the echo of her own voice. “i’m home!”

her eyes drifted around and saw the door out to the balcony was open, y/n leaning against the railing. she looked absolutely beautiful in the moonlight, but the pang she felt in her heart was just sadness instead of happiness. and just like that, she knew she was going to have to bring it up. 

they couldn’t keep going like this. 

y/n turned around as she heard footsteps, her lips quirking upwards ever so slightly as she saw who it was. “hi,” she whispered. 

“hi.” asami returned the greeting and she came to rest on the balcony next to her. neither of them said anything for a long time, but somehow they both knew. the statement hung in the air. five simple words, five words that would end it all. five words that neither of them could say, but both of them knew had to be said. 

that was one thing about being together for this long — they knew each other better than anyone else, and they wouldn’t ever be able to forget. 

“how was your trip?” y/n asked, wanting to break the silence. anything was better than standing here waiting for the hammer to drop. anything to stop those words from being uttered. 

“it was alright,” asami murmured. “we secured the deal, so future industries is safe for now. i’ll probably be gone again on another business trip before you know it, though.” 

“i’m happy for you.” that wasn’t a lie, but the thing that scared her was how she felt nothing knowing that asami was going to be leaving again. she wasn’t sad, she wasn’t disappointed, she just felt nothing. and that was the biggest sign yet. 

both of them turned to look at each other at the same time, and y/n was almost taken aback by the pure melancholic expression asami wore. in that moment, she knew. she knew because that was the exact same expression she had when she looked in the mirror in the morning. 

y/n opened her mouth to say something, say anything, but before she knew what was happening asami’s lips were on hers. her eyes shut and she instinctively pulled asami closer, hands already tangling in her hair. it was too easy to get caught up in it all again, too easy to forget. because they both wanted to forget. 

y/n wanted nothing more than to stay like this. she knew it couldn’t stay like this, she knew that holding onto their broken love was unhealthy, but she just couldn’t let go. even though there was nothing behind the kiss, she just couldn’t let it go. it was the scent of asami’s perfume pervading her senses that caused her to pull away first. 

y/n pursed her lips, feeling the familiar sting behind her eyes. she smiled sadly and breathed out a laugh, shaking her head in an effort to avoid eye contact. it didn’t last long. “we can’t put it off any longer. this— us. it’s over, isn’t it?”

“i’m so sorry, y/n.” y/n didn’t know if she was apologizing for kissing her or for their lost love — for all she knew it could’ve been both. her green eyes sparkled in the moonlight, and as she stared into them all the memories of the last couple years came back. years of happiness, laughter, nights spent together and waking up next to each other. “i.. i don’t know how it happened. it felt like one day, everything was perfect, and the next, i just—“

“you don’t have to be sorry, asami.” y/n took asami’s hands in her own as she spoke softly, and spirits. their hands fit together so perfectly that it hurt. “i felt it too. i didn’t want to acknowledge it, but.. i knew. i’ve known since that first phone call.”

“how did this happen?” she rasped, rubbing circles on y/n’s hand with her thumb with a far off look in her eyes. “did we do something wrong? i- i thought you were the one. i know we’re young, but i can’t see myself with anyone else. in every future i‘ve imagined, you’ve been by my side.” 

spirits, that made things so much harder. that was exactly how y/n felt. asami sato had always been who she saw at the end of the tunnel, the one who she thought she would spend the rest of her life with. it was a rare feeling, the love they shared, and trying to cope with the fact that that love was gone was like trying to wake up from a walking nightmare. 

“i.. i don’t know.” it seemed like the only thing she did know was that the love of her life was gone. she didn’t know how it happened, she didn’t know why it happened, she only knew that she no longer had asami sato. y/n blinked back tears and had to let go of asami’s hands. it hurt too much, knowing that she would never get to hold her hands, hold her, in the same way they used to. it hurt too much knowing that the spark was gone. she rested her forearms on the balcony, the faint night breeze blowing all around her. 

“we’ll still be friends, right?” asami’s voice was faint as she came to stand against the balcony with y/n once more, eyes sparkling with unshed tears. “we spent the last seven years together. that- it doesn’t just go away now that we’re no longer…” she didn’t want to say the words. saying it meant that it was real, it meant that all of this was really happening. it meant that she was really losing the girl she thought she would get to call her wife one day. 

“i…” she bit the inside of her cheek. “i hope so. i sincerely hope so. but i’m going to need some time before we can be.. ‘just friends’ again.” y/n pressed one of her hands into the side of her head and shook her head. “i’ll- uh, i’ll move my things out this weekend. i have a friend i can crash with tonight and until i find an apartment.” 

“yeah, of course. of course— as much time as you need.” her voice cracked on the last word and asami swallowed hard. “if you need any money, you can ask-” 

“asami.” y/n hated how her name sounded on her lips now. it used to be so full of love, happiness, a reminder of every good thing in the world. now it just reminded her of what she no longer had. it felt empty. 

she wished she felt something. y/n knew it wasn’t fair to asami, but yelling and screaming at her would’ve made her feel better than this emptiness behind her heart. anything would be better than this nagging feeling in her chest. 

she stopped talking and they faced each other, so close but worlds apart. asami’s hands itched to reach for y/n’s again, and y/n wanted nothing more than to find herself in asami’s embrace again. before they knew it, they were both leaning in. 

their lips met again in one final kiss, one final plea to all the spirits that their love would suddenly come back. that the butterflies, the electricity, the almost overwhelming happiness would re-emerge; that this was all just a cruel misunderstanding and that they could go back to being together. but as y/n pulled away, she felt nothing. and she knew asami felt the same way.

a single tear trickled down y/n’s cheek as she stared in the eyes of her former love with a sadness that words couldn’t begin to describe.

“i’ll always love you, asami sato.”

“i’ll always love you, y/n y/l/n.”

the whispered declarations were more like goodbyes, and as y/n walked back into the house, wiping away rapidly falling tears, asami was doing the same as she gazed up at the moon. their thoughts mirrored each other’s. 

“why did it have to be us?”

[lonelyreputation]

2021 (AU)

A/N: Got a bit wine tipsy & wrote a teeny story! It’s a bit different from what I’ve written before, so I hope you all enjoy!! Would love to hear your thoughts!! Was thinking of making it a little series, so!!! Happy 2021! I hope this year (so far) has been kind to you !  💥💞 

Prompt: One-sided enemies to lovers (kinda) & No dialogue

MASTERLIST | LET’S CHAT 🥂

Warnings: One swear word // WC: 2.6K // Angst & Fluff

He stared at you.

No, he glowered at you.

He couldn’t stand to be in the same room as you anymore. He’s been with you for as long as he could remember; from elementary school, middle school, high school…He was always a shadow in the room whenever you were in it. Always had been. Always will be.

His earliest memories included you scoring the top grades in school, teacher’s favorite student, handed in every assignment early, and you would always be picked first for a team in recess and gym class. He always resented you more for the latter. Ever since his best friend, Brian, picked you first for his kickball team in elementary school and not him…He ripped the title of best friend away from Brian.

Shawn Mendes hated you.

And he was fairly certain that you reciprocated the same feelings of hatred towards him.

In high school, Shawn studied day and night, turning down countless offers to parties because he was determined to receive the valedictorian title. Looking back on it now, five years since the high school became his alma mater, Shawn was still hung up over the fact that you stole his position of the highest education honor in high school.

He had the perfect farewell speech prepared for graduation. It was the perfect blend of a look how far we’ve come since freshman year speech and a see you later speech. Shawn was fairly close to the dean of student’s secretary and they may have tipped him off that he––more than likely––would be the valedictorian. So, his mother already had a copy of the speech framed and hung in the family room, next to his senior portraits, before the school year even ended.

Shawn finished the year with an exceptional GPA of 4.7.

But you…You finished the year with a slightly higher GPA of 4.8.

The feeling Shawn felt in the pit of his stomach was hard to pinpoint when he found out he was not valedictorian. Enraged didn’t feel like a strong enough feeling. Frustrated seemed like an adjective too soft to describe his disappointment. But the one feeling he could trace back as the reason for his clenched fists, locked jaw, and blinding vision of rage was resentment.

He remembers when the school sent out a congratulatory email to the top 10% of the graduating class. He expected to see Shawn Mendes as the name written on the top of the list. But instead, he saw your name on the top line, and his name at #2.

Shawn had even planned for his graduation party to be on the same day that the valedictorian announcement was made. He wanted to celebrate his achievements with his family and friends because he expected to have the title. He stayed up in his room for nearly an hour at his own graduation party to calm down his rage.

Maybe if he pushed himself a little harder, then maybe he would’ve beaten you out for the top spot.

Shawn Mendes detested you.

After all the years he spent with you––all the way from elementary to high school––he finally felt free after he was handed his high school diploma and shook the principal’s hand. He was leaving the small town of Pickering and attending university in Toronto where he would never have to see you again.

But Shawn wasn’t that lucky.

Because during an orientation session, a week before the first day of classes, he saw you walk on campus with your own orientation group. No amount of breathing exercises could calm him down. All he saw was red. And worst of all, you caught his blatant glare and offered him a small wave.

He ignored you, turned his head back to his group, and tried to engage in the ice breaker conversation.

Luckily, he only saw you a handful of times a semester. He had a different major than you; and always let out a sigh of relief when he walked into a general education class and saw you nowhere in attendance. It would’ve been ideal if he didn’t have to spend another four years with you, but he didn’t see you as much as he did in high school.

Until it came to senior year when you two both landed an internship at the same company.

Shawn thought he was in his own personal hell when he saw you in the lobby, on the first day, chatting with the other interns. He didn’t know what he did in a past life to deserve this kind of torture, but he would repent for the rest of his life to make sure it didn’t happen again. Thankfully, he was interning in a different department than you. But word somehow always got back to him about how wonderful every supervisor thought you were.  

When he finally received his university diploma, that was the day he felt truly free. He was done with school, done with his internship––Done with you. He drank a little too much in celebration that night. He drank to never having to see you again and drank to celebrate the job offer his internship offered him.

He didn’t have to worry about either you or trying to find a job as a new university graduate.

So when he showed up to the place where he was now an employee––dressed in a new suit––his smile disappeared when he walked out of the elevator and saw you. He tripped over his own two feet, spilling some coffee on his coat.

Shawn, I’d like you to meet the other new hire––I believe you interned with her.

In the lobby of his first job was where he silently apologized to any God he had ever offended. If this was punishment for missing Church for the past seven years, he begged for forgiveness. If this was punishment for getting into a fight during one of his hockey games, he begged for forgiveness. He begged for forgiveness, but he didn't think he’d be pardoned any time soon.

Because in his new office space, at his first real job, he was only three desks away from you.

/ / /

You stared at him.

No, you gazed at him.

You absolutely loved being in the same room as him. You’ve been with him for as long as you could remember, and you wouldn’t want to have it any other way. From elementary school all the way through the wonderful years of high school. You always saw yourself as being academically equally to him. Although admittedly, you thought he was better than you.

A memory with him that was stuck in your mind was one from elementary school; you were nine and it was gym class. Brian had enlightened you that Shawn liked girls who could run fast. And after learning that bit of information, you convinced Brian to pick you first so that way Shawn would notice how fast you could run. So, Brian picked you to be on his team first…Not Shawn.

But after that day, Shawn stopped talking to Brian. And Brian came crying to your nine-year-old self while you were at the arts and crafts table saying that Shawn was ignoring him.

You had a little crush on Shawn Mendes.

But you weren’t all that positive that Shawn reciprocated those same feelings of giddiness you felt whenever you saw him on the playground.

In your eyes, you were one and the same with ambitions. School never came easy to you; so, studying for absolutely every subject was a chore. But you knew how smart he was, and you wanted him to think you were smart too. Along with studying, you buttered up to the teachers so that they would give you the benefit of the doubt and round that A grade––that was nearly an A+––to be an A+. 

You knew he used similar tactics, but he wasn’t as obvious as you.

While you made studying a priority in high school, one of your friends mentioned that Shawn liked outgoing girls. So, you turned down some study sessions, and went out on either Friday or Saturday nights––sometimes both––in hopes you could strike up a conversation with Shawn. But you rarely saw him at the parties you attended.

And even five years after you graduated highschool, you were still hung up about not spotting him at more parties.

You had all the right words to say if you ever bumped into Shawn at a party. You had it all prepared, and even went as far as practicing in front of a mirror more times than necessary. Stored away in your mind was an endless list of topics you could talk to him about. You knew he played hockey, so you made a note to ask him about his games. And you were tipped off by a friend that Shawn liked when people complimented his ability to play guitar.

Granted, you had never heard him play guitar, but you were still prepared to praise him. You would’ve felt proud of yourself for stepping out of your comfort zone to talk to the boy who made you shiver with a pleasant bundle of nerves.

Shawn was a smart person. If you remembered correctly, he was the smartest person in school. You always admired his ability to keep up with his course load, play hockey, and balance out a well-planned social life. A little bird flying around the halls whispered that Shawn found smart and well-driven girls attractive. So you worked harder than you ever had in your life to miraculously pull your grades up higher.

You finished with a well deserved 4.8 GPA.

Shawn finished with an admirable GPA of 4.7.

Ecstatic didn’t feel like the proper word to describe how happy you were. Relief seemed like an adjective that was fairly representative of how gratifying it was to read that email. But one feeling you could trace back as the reason for your blinding smile, infectious high-spirited mood, and rose colored vision was how proud you felt. 

Because the information in that email confirmed that you and Shawn were academic equals. And you knew how much he valued education. 

You spent nearly an hour in your room––at your own graduation party––to write in your journal about how amazed you were with Shawn’s intelligence. Tucked away in a shoe box, your high school journal was still under your childhood bed with that entry.

You were in love with Shawn Mendes.

After your years in school together came to a bittersweet end, you felt slightly deflated when you received your high school diploma. It was your final parting place with him. You didn’t know what his plans were after high school––Always too nervous to make small talk with him. You were leaving the small town of Pickering and facing your fears of living in a big city and attending university in Toronto. You thought you would never see him again.

But you were lucky.

Because during orientation week, you were walking back from coffee with some new friends, when you saw him. You felt your breath get caught in your throat when you saw him sitting on the lawn with his orientation group. All you saw was a familiar rose color when you caught his stare. With a deep breath, and a little pep talk in your head, you offered him a small wave.

Instead of waving back at a familiar face, he turned his head back to his orientation group. You felt a little sad, but you brushed it off thinking he didn’t see you. One of your friends saw you wave at him, and they excitedly took hold of your wrist, and whispered; is that him?

Unfortunately, you only saw him a few times a semester. You figured he had a different major than you; but you always held your breath in anticipation when you walked into a general education class. But when the professor started class, and he didn’t rush in late through the doors, you always let out a disappointed sigh.

You accepted the fact that you and Shawn were no more than people who had grown up in the same town and went to school together. The past was in the past, and you were trying to move on as you filled out multiple internship applications.

Until it came to your senior year when you two both landed an internship at the same company.

You thought you were in your personal paradise when you saw him walk into the lobby, on the first day, that you stopped talking with the other interns. You didn’t know what you did in a past life to deserve this positive karma, but you would keep up whatever good deeds you were doing. Unfortunately, he was interning in a different department than you.

But even as you worked in a different area of the office, you always heard words of praise about him from multiple supervisors. And you always reiterated how diligent of a worker he had been since high school. You even tried your best to try and go on a coffee run with him, just to see him for a little bit, but those plans were never successful.

You dreaded the day when it came to receive your university diploma; that would be the actual day where your thin ties with Shawn would be officially cut. And then you would have to wait for either high school or university reunions just to get a glimpse of him. You were done with school, done with your internship––Done with him.

You had a quiet celebration with your family, opting to go out to a nice dinner instead of having a blow out party. You only drank a little champagne to celebrate the night. You sipped to all of your academic accomplishments, sipped to celebrate the job your internship offered you, and sipped in sadness as regret filled your body.

Because even after having four more additional years of school and an internship with him, you were still too nervous to talk to him.

But when you were in the lobby talking with the head of Human Resources, the ding of the elevator caused you to turn your head. You didn’t think the smile on your face could shine any brighter. You thought he looked really nice in the suit he was wearing, and he seemed just as surprised to see you when he stepped out of the elevator. He tripped over his own two feet, some coffee spilling over the lid.

Shawn, I’d like you to meet the other new hire––I believe you interned with her.

Not only had you interred with him before; you also grew up a few streets away from him, went to elementary school, middle school, high school, and university together.

In the lobby of your first real job was where you silently thanked any God up in the sky that answered your prayers. 

If this was a reward for all of the nights you spent crying over sophomore year biology, you thanked your lucky stars. If this was a reward for the one time you went to one of his hockey games, and got a bag of ice for the athletic trainer when Shawn got hurt, you thanked your lucky stars. You thanked your lucky stars because you didn’t think you would be given a third chance to see Shawn any time soon.

Because in your new office, at your first real job, you were only three desks away from him.

tag list (add / remove yourself!): @adelaidestreets, @alilovesshawn, @alina--jpeg, @fallinallincurls, @lights-on-mendes, @mendesficsxbombay, @particularnarry, @shawnmendez, @shawnsreputation, @turtoix, @badreputatiom, @5-seconds-of-mendes, @pupsandpucks @musicalkeys, @madatmendes @im-salt-but-not-salty @sunkisseddreamer @determined-overthinker @fortheloveoftheaussies, @illuminatepotter , @par_r, @perfectlywrongsm @lovelysunset1 @samaratheweirdo @sarcasticallywitty15 @repostcentral​ 

[shozaii]

Hey can I request something with todoroki where his s/o break up with him cus endeavour makes them and when shoto finds out he goes mental at his dad then goes to get his s/o back thank you sorry for bad grsmmer I’m not English ❤️

(a/n): hello! this took me a while and for that, i apologise :( i hope this is a good read! i also wrote something similar to this, and you can read it here.

requests are still open!

masterlist

^^^

always.

todoroki shouto x reader

warnings: angst!

ps: this setting is probably around 3-4 years of them dating, so that the legit emotion would kick in :P

---------------------------

your heart couldn’t take any more than this. 

regret, pain, anguish. you felt weak to the bone. you didn’t want to get up anymore. you wanted to stay on the ground. 

no one was going to lift you up anyway, right?

“shouto would never say that! i-i’ll only believe it when i see him!”

“and how exactly can you prove that he hasn’t done so?” endeavor boomed, his tall figure’s shadow looming over you. “even it was not, i would never hand him off to someone like you.”

“he doesn’t take orders from you, endeavor,” you growled underneath your breath. “i can’t believe i’m saying this to you but-,” you paused, slowly looking up to his face. ”todoroki shouto is not your carbon copy. he is a free bird, living to be the hero he has always wanted to be.”

his eyes were glowing with every ounce of hatred towards you. you were right. shouto had his decisions. he knew what he was up to. you even asked him about your dad and he said;

“my father has and never will have anything to do with you, love.”

so why this? why has endeavor made his way to you, claiming that his son doesn’t want you anymore?

when shouto could have done so?

...but then again, what if these were his decisions?

“what... what did you do with shouto?”

“he has requested me to be here, to tell you about this matter. you can run along now. i have even picked the one for him to marry in the future. which, of course does not involve you.”

you could feel your heart sinking slowly the chamber you grew away from. 

“i want to see him.”

“no! you are not allowed to step foot into the todoroki household anymore! now leave before it has to turn ugly.”

that felt like your very last straw. you wanted to run away, you wanted to scream. you wanted to do so many things.

you wanted shouto.

taking the hint that you had already understood, he walked away from you, never once looking back. why should he care, anyway? why did it have to matter to him?

why did this have to happen when shouto was far away from you? he promised he was going to return to your arms. did he plan all of this earlier? was he really done with you? did nothing else about you mattered to him anymore?

“shouto,” you said shakily. “at least tell me what i did.”

hands on your head, you sobbed. once again, your body brought you down to the grass. you heard someone shouting from the back; but it didn’t matter.

nothing mattered.

^^^

when you woke up, your eyes opened to the familiar ceiling.

the common room.

“they’re up!” you heard someone whisper-shout.

were you out for that long? what happened?

“y/n!” a girl’s voice called out to you softly.

“give them some space to breathe!” someone was chopping the air with their hands.

your eyes were wide open. you jolted up, taking a good look at the faces who were around you. “guys? what am i doing here?”

“you were with endeavor. d-don’t you remember, y/n?” midoriya asked.

“endeav-,”

the memories filled your head, one by one. the confrontation. the ground. his glowing blue eyes. the hatred.

the tears.

the unofficial break up.

moments later, tears flood your eyes once more, pouring out without a warning. here you were, thinking it was a nightmare. maybe when you woke up from it, shouto would be in your arms, calming you down. telling you that you had nothing to worry about. and then you would fill him in with kisses, he’d giggle and hold you closer.

“where is shouto?” you trembled.

“y/n, he...,” the green haired boy began. he hesitated. what was going on? why were you crying? why did you faint? so many questions ran in his head but he had to continue anyway.

“he went out of town, remember? and today endeavor came here to talk to you. in private.”

“i don’t think he would be coming back to me, though.”

“what?!” your friends around you screamed.

“he broke up with me.”

^^^

most of class 1-A have already completed their internship in various cities, including you. 

everyone, except for shouto. it was a day later than most of his classmates. he went along with it - but without you, it was painful.

he couldn’t call nor text you during the internship. those were the few things he had told his s/o before leaving. you understood because the whole class had to comply with that, too. no one was allowed to contact anyone else, either.

with you promising that you’d wait, he smiled. he was glad to have someone as understanding as you.

which was why he couldn’t wait until he had met you.

the train ride back to his home was a blur. he was exhausted from the extensive work he was given. it was part of his father’s agency, anyway.

expected? maybe.

he checked the time. 

it was already 12 a.m.. assuming you were asleep, he had to resist the urge to call you. what’s worse was that he only got to see you in the evening. he had a few errands to run at his home before heading to the dorms.

in less than 30 minutes, he had reached his destination. he grabbed his bag and left the train. a few more minutes and he would be lying in bed, satisfied.

not as satisfied if the first person he saw was his father.

but whatever he was never desiring seemed to come along his way. there he was, at home. his siblings were long asleep, he reckoned. “i’m home,” he mumbled, earning a hum from him.

as he entered the room, he was bewildered.

natsuo and fuyumi were right in front of him. fuyumi placed a finger on her lips; telling him to be quiet, while natsuo signaled him to close the door behind him.

“it’s about y/n. we got a call from your friend, midoriya.”

his eyes widened, slamming the door. “what happened?”

^^^

shouto felt as if ten thousand icicles had stabbed through his chest. 

he swung the door open. “you could’ve done anything else and you have even decided to interfere what i love most?!” he growled, palm starting a low flame.

“who? them? are you serious?! their quirk matches terribly with yours and i don’t see any compatibility between you two!”

“how- what kind of a sick person are you?! obsessed with power, fame, strength. have you ever focused on your loved ones?”

“you don’t have to remind me of the past. i don’t want you to fall in love and leave your hard work behind.”

“i think the real person leaving their work here was you. you, endeavour, have made a decision to say things that i would never say to them. to think that i would let you face them without any warning. stupid. i’m such an idiot. to allow myself to talk about them in front of you.”

“your relationship makes me feel sick, shouto! this is not the right time for you, so stop dreaming of it.”

“don’t tell me what to do!” he screamed. “don’t you dare tell me what to do! forget your future plans for me and let me do the honors. stop pestering me!”

tears flowed down his cheek as he gritted his teeth and clenched his fists. the little flame he had on his palm died down.

“do you actually think they wouldn’t set foot in this house?”

“shouto, forget about them. this topic is over.”

“answer me, father,” he spat. “do you?”

“absolutely.”

“do you actually think i would marry someone of your choice?”

“this is ridiculous. you’re behaving ridiculously, shouto.”

“do you think they haven’t met mother?”

endeavour’s eyes widened. “already?”

“as long as i get the green light from her, your words mean nothing to me.”

“no it does n-,”

“quit it.”

shouto grabbed his bag, said goodbye to his siblings, and left the house with his needs.

“this break up would be in your wildest dreams - heck - possibly in the deepest pits of hell.”

^^^

some of his classmates were still up. 

they didn’t really get any sleep after your breakdown.

“they’re in here. i’m sure they’ll be very happy to see you again.”

“thank you, midoriya.”

as he left shouto to his own, his knuckles hesitated to bring themselves to your door.

the pain he had inflicted was not only on him, but also you.

knock, knock.

“i’m doing fine, midoriya. the door’s open anyway.”

shouto turned the door knob slowly, revealing a dark room. the only light source was from the big, bright moon.

he saw a little figure staring at it, sobbing quietly.

“y/n....?” he called out softly, careful not to startle you.

you looked up, your eyes adjusting to the darkness ahead of you. but it didn’t have to wait for too long.

“shouto! shouto, oh my god, sho!” you stood up clumsily, your heavy legs bringing you to your boyfriend.

he grabbed hold of you, peppering countless kisses on your tear stained cheeks. it all happened so fast - your heart couldn’t believe it.

you let out a muffled scream into his shirt.

“i’m here now.”

two pairs of eyes were drowning themselves in an infinite amount of tears. as shouto held you, he brought the both of you down to your knees. he still didn’t let you go. it felt so right.

two pieces of a puzzle fit together like never before.

“none of this was your fault, love,” he let you go, wiping away your tears with his thumbs. “you did nothing wrong.”

“your f-father told me you sent him here and i- i didn’t know what to do, i forced myself to not believe it,” you said in between sobs. 

“what? no, he has nothing to do with us. it’s my fault. he had to be there when i told natsuo and fuyumi about you. i didn’t want that to happen - let’s just say his presence didn’t mean anything to me at that moment. and for that, i’m sorry, y/n. i promise you, this would never happen again.”

your eyes met his. “breaking up with you was never on my list,” he continued. “i guess he’d planned this earlier.”

“shouto.”

“i’m listening.”

“i love you.”

“i love you more.”

“always.”

“always,” he whispered.

-------------------------------------------------

(a/n): MJKJDNDOWJD i hope it was good!! :(

[oingo233]

I am loving how much thought you're putting into these ship requests ❤ so I thought I'd ask too!

I'm a heterosexual Ravenclaw female. I like to read and write. I used to peer tutor. I like to laugh. My sense of humor is pretty sarcastic. I like to play board games and watch movies and TV. I like being outside but just to relax and enjoy the weather. No camping or serious hiking for me lol. I have green eyes and dark blonde hair. Think you could do a ship for both ears? If not whichever you want is fine. 😊

You sound so awesome!  (Total side note: but yall or too cool for me wtf I just adore you) I kinda went off with the marauders ship, and since I wrote so much for it I decided not to do the Lightning Era ship, which I hope you don’t mind, but if you really want one just let me know and I’ll get to it.  Also sorry this took me forever, I’m the worst at posting/writing.  But I hope you enjoy it! <3 

Anyways, based off of everything here is what I think....

Marauders Era

I ship you with James Potter...

- He saw you were giving peer tutoring lessons so he lied and said he needed “loads of help.  Please, you’d be doing me a huge favor.  I’ll pay ya back?” he’d say with a wink, you’d roll your eyes and fight your smile because truth be told him and his friends always made you laugh with their pranks and you were always a little curious about this charming and handsome boy.

- You agree, in the name of education and graciousness of course.  No other reason... none at all.  Definitely not because he smelled good, and you knew he was passing that class with flying colors and so he had to be into you too, right?

- He was, oh god he was so into you.  He spent more time staring at you than the books you used to study.  It was often you’d look up to see if he was “registering” the information and he’d just be gazing up at you through his glasses, mouth slightly agape in a smile.  You’d blush and ask him an on-topic question, he’d answer correctly and you’d only blush more.

- He always made you laugh till your stomach was in knots and the two of you were kicked out of the library.  It was one of those time when he asked you out on your guy’s first “date”.

- The two of you were standing outside the library doors, cheeks flushed and eyes alight with humor.  He told the worlds best story about his first time on a broom, and how he thought he could fly into outer-space and bring back a star for his mom. (he was very little and didn’t know any better, his dad of course was right next to him and raced after him, but James was so fast.  Afterwards at dinner they scowled him, but knew he would be just great at quidditch.)

- “But it’s all true, all of it,” he says, laughing as you shake your head in disbelief.  He is walking beside you as you two wander the halls, not sure where to go but not wanting to part from one another. “But I’ll tell you, nothing has ever made me feel so free.  Just flying like that, nothing can hold you back.” he says, a large smile on his face.  You smile up at him and his heart nearly drops.

- “Sounds nice,” You mutter, only half paying attention to your own words because James looked so kissable then.  He smiled wider and walked closer to you, blushing as his nerves took over.  “I could teach ya?  If ya want, of course.” He asks you.  Without hesitation you say yes.

- That weekend you spend the whole Saturday together, learning, it seems as though he was the tutor now.  You nearly fell off the broom from laughing so hard, and James’s face would genuinely twist with worry when you would try new moves, he wouldn’t want you getting hurt.  The weather was just wonderful and the brisk breeze caressed your skin, yet the sun kept you warm.

- It was on that beautiful day, that you two laid back on the field of grass to rest and enjoy the weather, he leaned over and kissed you.  You were in shock and he almost pulled away, ready to apologies and die from embarrassment but then you started kissing him back and he found something he for sure liked more than flying...you.

- You two fell in love and have been dating ever since.  His sense of humor is both terrible amazing puns, and sarcasm so you two are always laughing your hearts out with the rest of the Marauders or even just alone.

- You two play board games a lot because he actually started to like them around the same time he found out you did (coincidence...I think not). When you two played together he’d get so into it, he’d just stare down at the board and figure out his next move, giving you perfect time to admire him in silence.  He truly was beautiful.  You’d see his glasses inch down his nose, and he’d slowly push them back up, still focused.

- Whenever you let him win (rarely) he’d would boast about it all day, but it made him so happy you learned to sit there and take it, you knowing the truth about your mad skills was enough.  Sirius and Remus knew it too.

- He’d always watch movies and TV with you, but only if you two were cuddled up.  It’s the only thing that helped him stay still long enough to really get lost in and take in the film.  His fav cuddle positions were when you’d lay in-between his legs, ontop of him, and cuddle your head on his chest, you were so warm and he’d play with your hair and give you forehead kisses .  

- Or, his all time fav cuddle was when it was switched, and he was laying atop your chest.  He loved how he could hear your heartbeat, and feel when you laugh.  You also just run your hands through his hair and if he isn’t careful he could just fall asleep like that, zenned out and warm.

- Since you like being outside so much, but no hard activities (gurl, same!) he would always set up a picnic for the two of you.  Outside on nice days, he’d cover your eyes and lead you across campus to this spot beneath a nice, shady tree.  Lying underneath it would be a blanket, your favorite book and foods, and some pillows.  He’s let you lay your head in his lap and he’d read aloud to you.  He’d put on voices for the characters and make sarcastic commentary that always made you laugh.

- During quidditch matches he gave you his spare jersey to wear and begged you to “Just for one day, be a Gryffindor.  I’ll give ya me jersey, splash some face paint on ya, and no one will tell the difference.” because he’d want for you to sit with Remus, and Sirius and Peter and cheer him on, because then he wouldn’t have to look all over the stands for his favorite group of cheerleaders.  You always kissed him before a match for good luck, he swears by it.

- But he also loved that you were a Ravenclaw.  He admired your intelligence, wit and creativity the most and it wasn’t like you were lacking the Gryffindor traits that he took so much pride in.  He also liked the different perspective you could give him on situations considering your different houses really shaped you both individually and he spent a lot of time with fellow Gryffindors.

- He’d pull the best puppy eyes to convince you to let him read whatever you are writing.  He adores every word you put on paper and even asks to keep his favorite story of yours that you’ve written so he can read it over summer.

- Overall, you both love and support one another so much!  And it was a match made by cupid himself aka me

I hope you liked this!

[izzy-b-hands]

One Last Party

One of my last fics for Tim Weekend (I have one more for this day that I’m hoping to have finished and posted before Sunday is over!) This event has been an absolute delight, both in participating in it and reading/seeing everything that’s been made for it, and I hope we might see this event happen again in the future! I know I’d be eager to participate again!

For this fic, I went with the Queen party prompt, as I wanted a chance to get some Freddie and Tim interactions written. This was one of the first fics I wrote for Tim Weekend, and it’s dear to my heart. I hope folks will enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

The only major TW for this is that there is the implication of Freddie’s illness in this; it isn’t addressed directly or anything, and Tim doesn’t know of course, but he’s aware that Freddie seems a bit out of it compared to prior years. 

My love to all who read/like/reblog!

He doesn’t want to bother him. That above all is foremost in his mind. Freddie is an old friend, yes, but they’ve long-since fallen out of touch with each other. 

And he looks tired. 

There’s been nothing formally said as to how well or unwell any member of Queen might be, but the papers are intrusive and eager to suggest theories based on the smallest, stupidest detail. It doesn’t help that, in Tim’s experience, musicians are often horrid gossips (and he can admit that he has to include himself in that, at least sometimes.) 

He doesn’t want to make any assumptions of course, but regardless, there’s the worry that he’d only irritate Freddie if he should be feeling less-than or otherwise exhausted from the party. 

Tim has spent the party milling at the edges of crowds, talking to folks if the mood takes him. He can keep to that, happily.

Or he tries to, until a rotation around the main room of the club lands him at Freddie’s table, in a seat right beside him. 

He says nothing, sitting awkwardly to the side in the chair. Even here, the goal is to let Freddie be; let him enjoy the night. 

But Freddie turns, and his face lights up. 

“There you are! Brian and Roger said you might try and make it, but we haven’t seen you all night so we presumed the worst,” Freddie leans in so they can hear each other over the dull roar of the party-goers. 

“Dead?” 

Freddie laughs. “That you couldn’t make it. But dead would do that as well, I suppose.” 

“I’ve been here,” Tim shrugs, and tries to hide his discomfort. Why is he here? Even the people among the crowds that he knows seemed shocked he showed up. 

“I’m glad you made it,” Freddie says. “And I’m glad you made it to one of us, at least! I haven’t seen the others in a bit, but-” 

Freddie peers into the crowd in front of them, as if he might somehow see through them. But if Roger, Brian, or John are anywhere close, they aren’t within sight. 

He shakes his head. “Well. They’re off doing who knows what, who knows where. But you and I can still catch up.” 

“There’s not much for me to catch you up on,” Tim tries to laugh, to keep it lighter than how he feels. 

Freddie rolls his eyes and smiles. “If you mean in regards to your attitude, then no, there isn’t. Still self-deprecating to a fault. But if you can honestly tell me that nothing else has changed; that you’re still stuck in that dingy student flat, then we’ll leave right now and I’ll move you into someplace nicer myself!” 

There’s a glimmer of their conversations in their college days in that, and Tim lets some of the stress out of his shoulders. Freddie never did suffer fools; he’s still talking to him, so he must truly want to hear him. 

“I’ve upgraded,” Tim chuckles. “A dingy house, but it suits me and the family.” 

“Wife and kids?” 

Tim nods. “And a day job, all that. It’s horribly boring, I’m afraid. You?” 

“I doubt that,” Freddie replies, artfully dodging over Tim’s question about family. He catches a waiter walking by with a gentle touch to the elbow. “It’s rather too loud in here; is there anywhere else my friend and I-” 

Before Freddie can finish his sentence, the waiter is gesturing them up and down a set of hallways, babbling about an empty VIP space. 

The room is cozy, it could fit maybe ten people if that, Tim figures. It looks VIP as well; velvet couches and low tables and a few chairs sat far too close together. But it is much quieter, and that’s a blessing. 

“Gets overwhelming,” Freddie remarks as they sit on one of the couches, watching the waiter leave. “Doesn’t it?” 

“To me, maybe,” Tim says. “I’m not a pro at things like this like you and the other lads are.” 

Freddie snorts. “Bullshit. You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t know how to handle it. Besides, being a pro at these means nothing. Less than nothing. Can you hold a drink and ramble on to some executive you’d rather not be talking to? If you can do that, you can handle a night like this.” 

“Fair enough,” Tim nods. “Still, you’ve all got more experience even with that than I-” 

“All I know right now,” Freddie interrupts softly. “Is that I’m hearing a friend talk poorly of himself for no good reason. And that’s not the conversation we should be having. How have you been? What have you kept busy with?” 

Tim hesitates to reply, but Freddie nods to urge him on. “I’m married. I already said that, but...yeah. She’s lovely, if anything, I should say I’m luckily married!” 

“We’ve all ended up with people too good for us, haven’t we?” Freddie smiles. 

“Sounds about right,” Tim lets himself sit back, and breathe. “Especially with...everything. It’s been lovely overall though; I really shouldn’t complain.” 

“Do,” Freddie instructs. “You have my permission, if it helps. We can bitch and whine to each other about things, like we used to. Just not about professors and classes anymore, is all.” 

“I might have some complaints left in me about some of them,” Tim smiles, and it’s a delight to hear Freddie laugh. He’d made this harder than it was. “No, no...ah, but like I said. Got the dear wife at home, some kids. I’ve done a lot since we last talked for any length of time, odd jobs-” 

“And music?” Freddie looks eager to hear about that. 

“Um. For fun, yeah,” Tim mumbles. “I considered myself ‘retired’, if you will, back in 1978. It’s been all TV and films and models and special effects since then.” 

Freddie frowns, but nods. “Well, I’m sure whatever you’re doing ‘for fun’ is still fantastic. And I’d love to know what you’ve worked on otherwise, maybe I’ve seen it…” 

He lets himself get into a flow with it, but then talking about work is easy. Freddie might not understand all the shop talk, but he listens intently, and grins whenever a project comes up that he knows of. 

But the topic only has so long a life, and it drops sooner rather than later. For a few moments, silence drifts over them. 

“What about you?” Tim tries again, gently. “I admit, I’ve not kept up close on everything Queen has done, so anything you say is likely new to me! And what about, you know, family and all that…” 

Freddie doesn’t look upset. But he’s studying Tim with a very certain look. Careful and serious, his eyes fixed on Tim’s. 

“To go over everything we’ve done,” he laughs softly. “That’s a lot, I suppose. I’m proud of it all, let’s say that. Even though we’ve bickered over so much of it, my god, if you could have heard us.” 

“I’d have rolled my eyes and tried to break it up?” 

“Probably,” Freddie replies with a faltering smile. “I...look. Anything more we talk about…” 

He sighs. “Privacy is important, yes?” 

Tim nods. “If you’re meaning that you don’t want anything about your life sold to any papers, you don’t need to worry about that. I wouldn’t use them as rags to clean up a mess, much less read them or give them any information about anyone.” 

Freddie perks up at that. “That’s a relief. It isn’t that I don’t trust you, or anyone-” 

“But you do have to be careful, and that means you can’t really trust anyone,” Tim interrupts without meaning to, the words flowing before he can stop them. “Or at least, you can only trust them so far.” 

Freddie nods. “You get it. Thank you.” 

“Of course,” Tim says. “I wouldn’t want anyone knowing my business if I didn’t intend for them to hear it.” 

“Exactly,” Freddie says. “That said…” 

The smile is back, bright. “His name is Jim. I’m lucky beyond words to have him; I can’t begin to tell you. Not that it’s all sunshine, I mean, what relationship is, but compared to what I’ve had before…” 

“Night and day?” 

Freddie nods. “Ah. No kids, of course, unless you count the cats-” 

“I absolutely do,” Tim laughs. “We’ve had our share of pets over the years; I’m certain the wife and kids would get them out of the house during a fire before they’d drag me out!” 

“Stop that,” Freddie giggles and shoves at his arm. “They’d get you out; the real question is if you’d be like Brian and John and Roger and be running back in to save equipment and instruments.” 

Tim considers it for a moment. “I have to admit it, I might. Some of what I’ve got in the home workshop is expensive, you know. Not as irreplaceable as Brian’s guitar or anything-” 

Freddie interrupts him with a laugh. “Nothing is as irreplaceable as that. It truly is, but all the same-” 

“Brian,” they say it in one playfully disparaging voice, cracking up at the coincidence. 

“You know,” Tim sighs. “I was trying to avoid you, if I’m honest. Not out of not wanting to talk to you! But I was so afraid I’d be bothering you or wearing you out or something; that was silly of me, wasn’t it?” 

Freddie nods. “It was, but I get it. I’m not exactly charging for the spotlight myself on nights like this. People come up to me, and I’m fine to speak with most of them. Happy, even! But I’m better here, sitting back and doing something like this instead.” 

He tuts, and shakes his head. “Maybe I’m just getting old, hm?” 

“Aren’t we all,” Tim replies. “This has been lovely though. I don’t know how much longer I can stay, but if you’d like…” 

He hesitates. Maybe this is a step too far. One night of catching up, even with Freddie telling him things so personal, cannot make up for years of not having talked at all. “I’d love to meet up with you again, outside of a party, if you’re comfortable with it. We could have you and Jim over for lunch, maybe.” 

Freddie’s smile is soft, but his eyes are bright, and he seems the most genuinely happy Tim has seen him all night. At least, it reminds him of the Freddie met in college. 

“I don’t know what our schedule is like going forward,” Freddie replies. “Myself and the band, and myself and Jim, of course. But I’d like that. Let me get you my number…” 

They exchange numbers scribbled on cocktail napkins, and Tim has to bite back a laugh. Friends going back as far as college, exchanging numbers like two people in a bar not quite brave enough to just take each other home instead. 

But he thinks as Freddie helps him find the exit (“It’s a maze back here, I swear; we can’t have you getting lost!”) that he’s not been so happy at a party like that before. He had a good time; only when he was with Freddie, but still, he had a truly good time. 

The cocktail napkin is warm in his hand as he takes it out of his pocket and pins it onto the little notice board at home. Among the calendars and appointment reminder cards and everything else for the rest of the family, is something for him. 

A friend, and as he readies for bed, Tim finds himself already excited for their half-planned lunch. 

[hellzeldagirlsfanfic]

Cost of the Throne - Chapter 5

[Pervious] * [Next] * [First]

Two weeks.

It only took two weeks for the combined force of Fortuna and Mallet to defeat Quebel. Quebelian army had put a good fight but they were overpowered by the invading armies. It didn’t help that the people of Quebel welcome the Fortunan and Malletine armies as heroes sent to their land to free them from tyrant rule of Harald.

It just wasn’t the lower classes that helped out but some of the lords as well. Their number were minuscule and mainly consisted of lords who’s supported the old kingdom. The leader of the small group was Lord Valles, who went directly to Vergil to offer his help.

It was due to Lord Valles’ help the war ended quicker. It was due to his information that Vergil and his elite force were able to infiltrate the palace, killing Harald and his sons.

Now that the war was over the people of Quebel began to celebrate the end of Harald’s rule and the new rule of Vergil.

But for (Y/N), the end of the war didn’t bring any comfort to her. She hadn’t received any news from her mother and she fears the worst.

She now slept less than she normally did and stopped eating altogether as worry consuming her.

Vilho had forced her a couple of times to sleep with his magic.  

Vilho, Debbie, Lady and even Dante forced her to eat though Vilho and Debbie only made her eat a small portion of food whilst the demon hunters made her eat whole meals.

The days continue on with no word from her mother.

(Y/N) had lost hope from hearing from her mother so she began to mourn her loss.

Lady was the first to notice the signs of mourning and stay by (Y/N)’s side, helping her through her grieving process.

The month slowly pass, (Y/N)’s grief didn’t wane but she managed to start eating again and sleeping a bit more.

(Y/N) was now sitting at a table in Gure’s Cellar having dinner with Dante. He had ordered them streak and potatoes with some vegetables. To Dante’s surprise, (Y/N) ate all of her meal.

The white hair man just stared at the (H/C) woman as she finished off her meal whilst he had only halfway through his own.

“Wow! Someone was hungry,” Dante commented.

“I guess my body making up for all the meals I missed,” She replied to Dante as she eyed his vegetables.

Dante turned his plate so (Y/N) could eat the vegetables off his plate freely.

“Well, a growing girl needs all of that energy,” Dante joked.

(Y/N) ignored his joke and continued to eat his food.

Whilst munching on carrot (Y/N) took in the rest of the bar.

Everyone is in their little groups and clusters chatting away. It seemed that something had gotten the attention as they quickly talking and arguing about the topic.

“Everyone seems pumped up about something,” (Y/N) mumbled.

Dante looked around the busy room.

“Yeah…” Dante agreed. “I think some interesting news came out,” He said.

“Interesting news?” (Y/N) asked.

“I don’t know. I don’t keep on top of the news,” Dante said which result in an eye-roll from his friend. “Morrison probably knows what’s up,” He said as he lends back on the chair to wave to the other man over from across the room.

“How may I help today Dante?” Morrison inquired.

“I’m curious about everyone talking. I’m might be out of the loop,” (Y/N) said.

“I guess you are,” Morrison said before starting the news “The news that’s on everyone is from Quebel. Vergil has announced his marriage to Harald’s daughter,” He explained.

Dante perked up at that news. (Y/N) was also surprised that the news. She didn’t know Harald had another daughter.

‘She must have been born after me,’ (Y/N) thought. ‘In the name of the gods, he going to marry someone about fourteen. He must be desperate to solidify his claim on the throne,’

“Oh, really?” Dante said. “Please tell us all about this princess?” He asked.

Morrison chuckled.

“Well, first off she no princess,” Morrison started. “The daughter is a bastard. There’s not a lot know about her as she disappeared about fourteen years ago. Most thought she was dead,” He finished.

(Y/N) processed the older man’s words as she took a swig of her beer.

‘…Disappeared about fourteen years ago…’ Those words slowly sink in then she realised something.

“What? If everyone thought that she was dead, why is Vergil marrying her?” Dante asked.

“That’s because she wrote a letter to her mother that ended up in Vergil’s hands,” Morrison explained.

Harald didn’t have any other daughters. The woman that Vergil intended to marry was her.

Jeanette put her tanker little too hard on the table which alerted Dante and Morrison to her.

“Hey! Are you alright?” Dante asked.

Jeanette’s face had gone pale.

“No,” She confessed. “I suddenly feel sick,” She lied as brought her hand to her mouth.

“Probably eat something bad,” Morrison concluded.

Though Dante didn’t look convinced by Morrison conclusion but kept quite.

“Let’s get you home then,” He said getting up to help (Y/N) out of her seat.

Dante guided her out of the pub and down the street to the boarding house, where (Y/N) stopped him outside the front door.

“I’ll be alright now Dante,” (Y/N) told him.

“Don’t you want me to escort you to your room?” He asked.

“No, I should be fine Dante. It’s just a short walk to my room,” She recurred him.

Dante was hesitated to let (Y/N) go off by herself but her smile told him that she wanted to be left alone. So he let her go.

Dante watched as (Y/N) passed through the fresh-hold, not leaving the front of the boarding house until a light went on in (Y/N)’s room.

Once (Y/N) was in her room, she lite her fire using her magic. She sat on the floor in front of the fireplace with her back against her bed.

Her mind was still processing the news she heard.

Vergil, the eldest son of Legendary Dark Knight Sparda, Nelo Anglo Mallet’s strongest knight and Mundus’ favourite general, now King/Emperor of strongest counties in the world, future King of Quebel wanted to marry her because she carries the blood of Rose-Griffiths. And it was all her own fault.

It was because of her own letter.

‘I knew I shouldn’t have sent that letter!’ She cursed herself. ‘…But… I needed to know if my mother was alive. And still don’t have an answer to that!’

Panic finally started to settle.

‘Oh, the gods! I bet they already tortured Oswin to find out where he sent me. They must be searching for me now,’

(Y/N) felt the contest of her stomach rising up. She lunges forward for the bucket that she kept by the fireplace. She emptied the content of her stomach into the wooden container.

‘My life…’ She thought.

The life she had worked so hard to build was close to being shattered.

What should she do? Runaway and hide for rest of her life or surrendered herself to Vergil.

‘No! I can’t have that!’

Running for the problem wouldn’t solve. And if ran away she would be breaking the oath that she made to herself and the people of Ckville. That she would protect and heal them no matter the situation.

‘I’ll just to fight whoever comes after me no matter what. I won’t let anyone take me away from this life that I’ve made for myself,’ (Y/N) vowed.

The doctor knew some offensive spells that Vilho had taught her. (“There’s no point in becoming a doctor if you die on the way,” Vilho told her once.) And Lady had taught her a thing or two about defending one’s self. Then there was also that power. The one that she inherited from her father.

(Y/N) stared at the flames in front as she thought about that power she had inherited from that man. She reached out to the fire. The flames jumped from the hearth to the outstretched hand. (Y/N) turned over her hand, letting the flame settle in her palm. The flame burned more brightly in her hand than when it was in the hearth. With a little twitch of her magic, (Y/N) turned the flame blue. (Y/N) stared at the blue in her hand for a moment before the horrible memories started to return to her. She quickly snugged out the flame before any more memories return.

(Y/N) sighed and massage her forehead. Once the horrible memories were gone (Y/N) started to clean the sick out of bucket then head to bed.

***

Once more, days start passing by. (Y/N) kept going on with her life, always over her shoulder for Vergil’s knights or soldier.

But for the moment it seemed that they hadn’t found her yet.

Today the hospital was quiet. There had been no big emergency or major cases.

That week also coincided with Vilho’s yearly trip to the capital to raise money for the hospital. So (Y/N) was left in charge of the hospital during the day.

The quiet day allowed (Y/N) to go through the paperwork that she let pile up during the week. But soon the quietness of the hospital was disturbed.

“(Y/N)!” Debbie shouted for her.

(Y/N) rushed from her office to see what had happened.

Laying on the floor not far from the door was a body. It was surrounded by several people, mainly city soldiers of Ckville, labourers and nurses.

The doctor moved closer to see who was on the floor.

When she was close enough to see who it was she stopped.

The person was dead. There was no mistaking it.

But what made it worst was that the person was Joe, the young city soldier who everyone trusted to get the job done.

“What happened?” (Y/N) asked.

“We got into a fight with Lord Kay’s men. Joe stepped into the fight to stop us,” One of another soldier said.

(Y/N) stepped closer to the body, kneeling down next to it. She had seen from afar that there was a bloodstain on the tunic, now she the chance to examine the wound up close.

There were two to three holes in the tunic, long and thin in nature most likely done by sword or knife. By the positions of the holes the blade penetrated the intestines, pancreas and the heart and with the amount of blood that drenched his clothes and floor Joe was dead before he got to the hospital.

“Is there anything you can do for him?” A soldier asked.

(Y/N) was silent as thought about how to reply.

“I can’t help the dead,” She replied.

Gasps came from the group around, followed by cries and angry shout. Some of soldiers and labourers rushing out of the hospital.

(Y/N) held back a cry of her of own as she shouts of the eyes of the young man.

A young man who had a brilliant smile and a lovely soul. Who always walked her home when younger and taught her all about the city that they lived in. Her first friend.

Someone who shouldn’t have been taken away from this world yet.

[3rachabffs]

not a date (maybe a date) ➺ zhang yixing

◦ pairings: yixing x reader 

◦ word count: 2.6k

◦ prompt: parent!au + meet messy, exes + “you have the emotional capacity of a brick.”

◦ description: when sehun tells you that he convinced his friend to babysit your daughter for you, you can't say that you're thrilled. most of sehun’s friends are exactly like him—partiers, irresponsible, so on and so forth. but meeting said friend puts all your worries to rest.

◦ a/n: cross-posted on ao3

“I can babysit.”

“Sehun, you have the emotional capacity of a brick.”

You say that lovingly, of course. Sehun is your best friend and has been since you two were snot-nosed toddlers fighting over who gets to go down the slide first. The only thing that has ever changed in your relationship is that now the two of you fight over who gets to write what editorials for the magazine you work at.

However, you loving him doesn’t change the fact that he’s a semi-irresponsible partier who drinks from dusk until dawn and has no problem with speaking whatever is on his mind, even if it means hurting people’s feelings. As an adult, you can appreciate those traits (to an extent), but imagining him taking care of a child, especially your child… Well, there would be lots of crying and screaming. And that’s only taking Sehun’s reaction into consideration.

“You know,” he replies, “I would take great offense to that if you weren’t one hundred percent correct.”

Sehun spins around in his desk chair and takes a sip of coffee (it’s only 10 AM and he’s already on his third cup, trying to fight the hangover) before promptly turning back around and wiggling his perfectly sculpted eyebrows at you. “I have an idea.”

“Should I be scared?”

“No, no. Of course not.” He pauses, and then sighs. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Like what? I’m not giving you a look.”

“Yes, you definitely are. You’re giving me your “Sehun is stupid and I’m not gonna go along with anything he says” look.”

“This is just my face!”

“No, your eyes are deader than usual.”

“Ha-ha.”

“Just trust me, will you?” And with that Sehun gets up from his chair, smooths out the wrinkles from his suit, and begins to head towards the elevators.

You slowly spin in your own chair to follow his path as he walks, arms crossed disapprovingly across your chest. “And where are you going?”

“To talk to a friend of mine in Art Media. I’ll be right back, babe.”

You can't help but roll your eyes at his antics. You thought he would stop with the pet names after the HR violation but once the higher-ups found out that the two of you weren't dating and Sehun was very much gay, everyone seemed to stop caring about it (including whoever reported the situation in the first place).

Turning back to your desk, you continue typing up the editorial you were working on prior to the whole "need-a-babysitter" fiasco. You're still not quite sure what you're going to do—maybe you should just cancel the cooking class—but that's an issue you can focus on during your lunch break.

Sehun doesn't come back until you're already printing what you wrote so that you can run it upstairs to your editor. You raise an eyebrow at the mischievous smirk on his face.

“What did you do?”

"I got a babysitter for you."

Alarm bells begin to go off in your head immediately. Sehun said the person he was going to talk to was a friend and all the friends you've ever met of his have been exactly like him—partiers, irresponsible, so on and so forth.

Getting out of your chair, you grab Sehun's hand and pull him towards the break room. He follows quietly, but only until the two of you are a safe distance away from the rest of your coworkers. Once you're behind closed doors, however, he pulls his hand away and gives you one of his signature looks, the—

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I appreciate you trying so hard to get a babysitter for me but, Sehun, come on! I've never even met this guy, how am I supposed to trust him with my child?"

"Well, he—"

"Is he one of your clubbing friends? One of the ones you stay out with until 4 am? Oh my god, he's not the friend who drove you home drunk one night, right? Look, I'll find my own sitter, okay? Thanks for trying but you can tell your friend no thanks."

"Or you can."

You practically jump out of your skin at the new voice that interrupts your (one-sided) conversation with Sehun. Leaning against the doorframe is one of the most attractive men you've ever seen, what with his dark, slicked-back hair and proportions that could rival those of a male model.

"I-I'm sorry?" you stutter. "What did you say?"

Sehun claps, looking all too happy for the situation at hand. "Y/N, I'd like to introduce you to Yixing, the friend I was talking about. I brought him with me because I know you would want to meet him."

You squeeze your eyes shut, hoping that in the next two seconds you'll magically be teleported anywhere other than here. But alas, you are not Dorothy with her magic red heels. So, you decide to be a responsible adult and apologize.

"Yixing, I am so, so sorry for anything you might have overheard. It's just... when it comes to Naeun, I'm so protective."

Yixing, bless his heart, smiles at you and alleviates all of your worries. "Hey, it's alright. I'm the same with my kid, too." The surprise must be written all over your face because he continues, "I'm guessing you didn't expect Sehun to have friends—other than you—that have kids."

"Honestly? I didn't. He's kinda stuck with me since we grew up together, after all."

"Well, let me shock you some more. Another friend of ours, Jongdae, also has a kid."

Turning to Sehun, you cross your arms. "You never thought to introduce me to these friends of yours? People that I could relate to?"

Sehun just shrugs. "Not really."

You roll your eyes. "And that's why I never expect anything from you."

"I like not being held to expectations."

Yixing laughs, amused by your bickering. "Not to interrupt but, Y/N, now that you know I'm not one of his quote-unquote clubbing friends, do you trust me to take care of Naeun? I figured it would be nice for her and my daughter to hang out with one another since they're around the same age."

You take a moment to think but, honestly, it's just for show. In the few minutes you've spent with him, you can tell that he's trustworthy enough to take care of your daughter. "That sounds lovely. What time's your lunch? Maybe we can meet and discuss this further."

"I usually take lunch at 2, but I can fit my schedule with yours. I'm the Art Director so I don't think anyone will fight me on it."

Your jaw drops. "Oh my god, you're the Art Director? I'm sorry, I had no idea."

"It's fine, I don't expect people who aren't in the same department as me to know who I am."

"Right, of course not, I was just surprised.” You give Sehun a look, signaling to him that you want to discuss how he’s friends with the Art Director at a later point. Then, you continue, “Anyways, my lunch is at 1:30, so if that's good for you we can meet then."

"Perfect, I'll meet you in the cafe." With that, he claps Sehun on the shoulder and takes his leave.

Now alone, Sehun focuses all of his attention on you. "Oh, a lunch date, hm? Spicy."

"Sp... Spicy?" You fumble over the word, flabbergasted. "No, no, no, no. Not spicy. It's basically a business meeting. I'm just gonna learn a bit about him, tell him what he needs to know in order to babysit, and let him know what time I'll drop Naeun at his house. That's all."

"I don't know, it kinda sounds like a date to me," Sehun teases.

"In what world does that sound like a date?" Huffing, you push past him and head back to your desk. "Whatever, I need to get my editorial to Minseok. Bug off."

"Y/N and Yixing sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N—"

You hit Sehun on the head using your printed editorial, shushing him. "We're not in kindergarten anymore, Sehun! That's enough, I'm leaving."

"Alright, you minx. Go."

Getting into the elevator, you yell, "I'm not a minx!"

You're instantly swarmed with feelings of regret at your outburst when all of your coworkers turn to look at you and couldn't be more thankful when the elevator doors close.

"So, Naeun is four, right?" Yixing asks.

You take a moment to swallow the bit of sandwich you were chewing before responding. "That's right. And your daughter, Hana, is the same age?

"That's right." Yixing digs into the inner pocket of his suit jacket and takes out his wallet. It only takes him a second for him to locate her picture and hand it to you. "That's her, on her birthday this year."

The girl looks exactly like him, dimples and all. Her hair is a bit lighter though, which you assume is a trait she acquired from her mother.

"If you don't mind me asking, is Hana's mother still in the picture?"

Yixing sighs as he gingerly puts the picture back into his wallet. "No, she's not. She decided that being a mom wasn't her calling and decided to chase her passions in Rome or something like that."

"Oh, wow. I'm sorry. That's... wow."

Yixing chuckles, running a hand through his hair and messing it up just enough that a few strands fall perfectly against his forehead. "It's alright. Based on how she acted during the pregnancy, I was expecting the worst. Plus I wouldn't really want her in Hana's life anyway."

"It doesn't sound like you really liked her that much, if I’m being candid."

"No, I guess it doesn't."

The conversation dies down for a few moments as you both take some time to actually eat your lunch. The silence is a comfortable one, which you appreciate. It’s not common for you to feel so at ease with a person you’ve just met.

Yixing starts talking again abruptly. "I think I did love Chengxiao when I was with her. Or at least I believed I did."

You look at him with your cheeks puffed out, mid-bite. You had thought it was a sensitive topic and didn't expect him to continue. Yixing takes one look at you and smiles, handing you a napkin. You take it despite the embarrassed blush on your cheeks. The way he looked at you... It was almost fond. You quickly cast that thought aside, however. Surely you're reading too deeply into things because you’re attracted to him.

"When I met Chengxiao, I was young. 22. I was just starting out at the company and I was so overwhelmed. I was looking for someone to distract me, and she was that person.  We dated on and off for months and things got more serious when she got pregnant.

“My parents suggested I marry her, but she didn't want that and honestly, I wasn't sure I did either. I loved her for what she did for me, though. And even more so now that, because of her, I have Hana.

“But she was a wildcard, always looking for her next adventure. It's why I didn't expect her to stay after the pregnancy, but I'm not upset that she left. I don't think she would have loved our daughter the way she deserves to be loved."

Yixing stops, giving you a bashful look. "I'm sorry, you didn't ask for my life story."

You shake your head vehemently, not wanting him to feel like he overstepped by sharing so much with you. "No, no, it's perfectly alright! I'm glad you were comfortable enough to share something like that with me. It really speaks towards your character."

He raises an eyebrow. "Oh? And what does it say about me?"

"Well..." You pause, wondering where to begin. "It says that you're an incredible father. You care so much about your daughter and obviously put so much thought and care into anything that involves her. It also says that you're kind, almost to a fault. This woman, Chengxiao, she left you. Yet, you're still thankful to her and hold no animosity towards her. I find that to be very admirable."

By the time you're done, you're sure that your face is as red as an apple. Yixing has been paying you rapt attention, staring at you the entire time you spoke. It’s as if everything you had to say was of great importance to him.

Breaking out into a beautiful, dimpled smile, he thanks you. "I'm honored you seem to think of me so highly already. I hope I don't blow it on our next date."

"Our next date...?" Your heart soars.

He nods. "I'd really like to see you again. And not just when you drop Naeun off later."

"I'd really love that."

"What would you think about getting dinner on Friday night? You, me, and the kids."

The fact that he was willing to include Naeun and Hana on your first real date has you beaming. "That sounds perfect. More than perfect."

"I'm so glad."

On that note, Yixing gets up, smoothing out any wrinkles from his suit before throwing out his trash in a nearby garbage. You follow suit and he waits for you inside the elevator, foot holding the door. He presses the buttons for your floors—8 and 11, respectively. A few seconds pass—floor 1, floor 2—when suddenly he turns to you, grabbing you by the waist.

"Can I kiss you?"

You let your body answer for you, capturing his lips with your own. His touch is electric, sending a tingle down your spine. You get so lost in his touch that you don't notice another person getting on the elevator until they clear their throat.

You and Yixing pull away from each other immediately. Flushed and breathing heavily, you share a guilty look, akin to two teenagers who were caught making out underneath the bleachers. The woman who entered the elevator just laughs and shakes her head, before exiting on floor 6.

Soon enough, you arrive to your floor and bid Yixing goodbye.

"See you tonight at 8."

"See you then. I can't wait to meet Naeun."

The doors close, taking Yixing away. You have a strong urge to act like the dramatic lead in a teen romance movie and lean against them so you can slide to the ground in a lovesick daze. But you're not in a movie, you are an adult in your workplace. So, you smooth down your skirt and march over to your desk confidently, ready to tackle the rest of the work you have for the day. No matter how cute Yixing is, you won't let him hinder your performance.

Sehun eyes you as you approach and pounces the second you take a seat. "Tell me everything. I know something happened, you're practically glowing."

You keep your lips shut tight, not wanting to play into his antics. He gasps, taking your silence as an answer in itself. "You two didn't hook up in a storage room or something, did you? That'd be amazing."

Glaring at him, you respond, "No, we didn't." You turn back to your computer, ready to continue your work, but you can feel his stare boring into your side. With a sigh, you concede. "We did kiss in the elevator, though."

"Oh my god, yes! I should become a matchmaker or something, I swear."

You roll your eyes. "Yeah, yeah. Get back to work, slacker."

"Just say thank you."

There are a few colorful words you’d like to say that certainly aren’t even close to being thank you, but you bite your tongue.  "Alright. Thank you."

"I better be your best man at the wedding."

"Oh, Sehun, shut up!"

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #360

“we are the ones that wanna play  /  always wanna go, but you never wanna stay”

"Crawling" or "In The End?" I want to say "Crawling," but I really can't be sure. Both are bomb. Is your window open? No. Monsters Inc. or Shrek? Shrek, my man. What did you last hear that made your jaw drop? Jason's mom died. What is the longest shower or bath you have ever taken? I remember as kids, Nicole and I would sometimes play 'til Mom made us finish because the water was cold by then. As an adult, idk about my longest shower. Do you have a preference of chocolate? Yeah, milk chocolate. Is there anyone you’d like to hug right now? Yeah. Could you ever picture someone writing a biography about you? Definitely not. Do you have a clock in your room? No. Do you shut off the computer when you’re done using it? No, I just close it. Do you usually catch a cold during the winter? No. I just about never get sick. Are you a good multi-tasker? NOOOOOOOOOOO. Do you know any deaf people? If so, is it easy or difficult to have conversations with them? No. Is there a door knocker on your front door? No. Were you ever into Pokémon? Bitch I still am. Do you drink a lot of water? Sigh, no. I'm definitely better than I used to be, though; once upon a time, I literally never drank it unless I was extremely hot and dehydrated. Nowadays, it's usually after I finish my soda for the day that I then only drink water, normally around one full tall cup of it. Do you like fireworks? They're beautiful, but I'm personally against them out of respect for veterans suffering from PTSD as well as animals, because I'm not exactly interested in traumatizing them, either. Is respect given or earned with you? It's given, the way I think it should be. Are you “in the closet” about anything? No. Are you missing any teeth? No. Do you like scrapbooking? I've never gotten into it and am not really interested in doing so. What was or will be your first tattoo? It's a semicolon butterfly on my right wrist. Sometimes I've thought about getting it covered with a cooler design but the same concept; it was literally from Google, and I'm very much not into "sharing" tattoo designs with probably thousands of other people. But, I still think it really is cute, and it's just very special to me as my first, so idk. Do you have any tattoos dedicated to someone special? I have one written in Sara's handwriting inside a heart, and my "ohana" tattoo that I am 100% getting covered was dedicated to my former best friend Colleen. I've talked before about why "ohana" has never really resonated with me, and I just don't like it anymore at all. Thank God it's small. Do you like ghost stories? Oh HELL yeah, lay 'em on me. What was your favorite movie as a kid? The Lion King. Some things never change, ha. Do you own a lot of cookbooks? Mom has looooots, but never uses any. I think her mom gave them to her, so she just keeps 'em. What’s your father’s handwriting like? It looks like every other man's handwriting I've ever seen lol. All the letters are capitalized. Did you wash your hair last time you showered? I wash my hair every time I shower. I have to with it naturally being so oily. What does your shampoo smell like? Coconut. Do you listen to Guns N' Roses? Not a lot, but yeah. They've got some bangers. I actually want "Sweet Child O' Mine" to be the father/daughter dance at my wedding. Have you ever been a bridesmaid? Yeah, at my sister's wedding. What was the last video game that you beat? I replayed Silent Hill 2 a long time ago. Have you ever hyperventilated? Yep. Do you talk in your sleep? I scream in my sleep. Nightmares/terrors are a blast. Whose house did you last sleep over? Sara's. Have you ever been cut by scissors? No. Do you like peaches? It's odd, I like canned sliced peaches, but the actual, full fruit, I don't. I love peach flavored juice, though. Do you enjoy being surrounded by neighbors, or would you be more comfortable someplace secluded? Take me back to the middle of nowhere, please. I'm really not digging being in an actual neighborhood. Is there any sibling rivalry between you and your siblings, if you have any? Not at all. Do you usually root for the good guys or the bad guys? Ha, the baddies... Are you allowed to have pets at your house? We're allowed to have what we currently own and then maybe one dog if Mom finally finds one. Have you ever lived in a trailer park? No. Is there anyone that you know through the internet that you would feel comfortable meeting in person? There's quite a few, actually! Have you ever had a dream involving characters from a game/movie/television show? Yeah. What’s the last thing you wrote down? My signature, I think? Do you remember any phone numbers from years ago that now belong to someone you don’t know? No. Have you ever found something strange in your mailbox? No. Who was the last relative that came to visit you? My half-sister and her husband. Does your bedding all match? Not currently. Are you more comfortable with having short hair or long hair? SHORT. Are you interested in fantasy movies/shows? That's my preference. Have you ever gone whale-watching? No, but that'd be dope. What is something that you have a large amount of? Meerkat plushies. Who is it that you’re in love with? Nobody. Have you ever gotten love and infatuation confused? No. Do you have a steady income? No. Do you take your medications in the morning or at night? Both. Have you ever bought a YouTuber’s merch? No, I wish. :( Do you think oatmeal tastes better when made with water or milk? MILK. I don't eat it with water. When was the last time you ran into someone that you didn’t want to see? Idk. Have you ever tried vlogging, and if yes, did you stick with it? Noooo, I'm completely disinterested in doing that myself. If you go to church, what is your favorite thing about it? I don't go. Even as a kid when Mom made me, I hated it. ^and what is your least favorite thing about it? N/A What do you do for exercise? I don't. .-. I want a pool SO badly to swim and strengthen my legs without having to worry about sweating or collapsing, though. Mom says we don't have space, but we definitely do. Not a lot, but enough. Do you have a birthmark? If yes, what color is it? Yeah, it's just a bit darker than the rest of my skin. Do you need to lose weight? Yes. My sister, Mom, and I very recently started a Weight Watchers subscription and we're all working our asses off to stick to it. Ash has already lost like, 12 pounds (she started before Mom and me), so I'm kinda hopeful. Have you ever had a cat? Growing up, after we took in a stray female, we ended up with a fucking empire of cats, literally around three dozen, I'd say. They were all outdoors, too, and not fixed because we couldn't afford it, so tomcats would come around and, y'know, make matters worse. Eventually, animal control took them all and I was DEVASTATED, but looking back, I understand it was necessary. Anyway, I have one cat now. Indoors and fixed and the prince of my world, haha. Have you ever had a dog? We've had a few. I was born with my dad having a collie named Trigger, but I don't remember her at all; she died of old age I believe when I was very young. Then we briefly had a pup named Angel, but she died due to that disease some puppies just have. We didn't get another dog until Teddy, who was my Christmas present, and he was put to sleep only last year, rest my baby's soul. We also had Dale, Cali, Delilah, and Bentley. Have you ever any other kind of animal? A LOT. I'm probably going to forget some, but we've had hamsters, rats, snakes, fish, a turtle, two lizards, gerbils, guinea pigs... just a lot. Animals have always been very important in my life. Have you ever had a pet rock? HA, yeah. I didn't take it seriously at all, but I had one. When was the last time you painted something? Not since my Painting course in my final college attempt. Do you have any disabilities? Not in the traditional sense, no. My social anxiety though is at such a severity that it majorly infringes upon my ability to do a LOT of things, though. What are five of your favorite stores at the mall? I couldn't name five. Just Hot Topic and Spencer's, really. What season do you want to get married in? AUTUMN. The actual dream situation would be to get married in the snow in a black dress, like can you IMAGINE the pictures, but realistically, it'd be in the fall to avoid the biting cold. Has anyone ever spread lies about you? Yeah. Anything special planned for today? Nope. Blue or green? Blue. How much older/younger than you was the person you lost your virginity to? He's two years older than me. Do you still care for that person? Very much. Can you completely annihilate the first Mario game in less than an hour? I haven't even played the first game. I've never really been into the games to begin with. Did you make it all the way through the Oregon Trail game? Yes! I was OOOOOBSESSEEEEEED as a kid. I would usually play it after school when my mom was an assistant teacher and was finishing up her work for the day. Have you ever contemplated climbing a water tower? Uh, no. Those kind of people got some wanderlust levels that I ain't got, haha. If you have a Facebook, when was the last time you changed your profile picture? It's been a few months. Would you ever marry someone who was lower class? Um, yes? You can deny it all you want, but answering "no" is pretty much the same as saying you'd marry for money. Is there a guy you wish you hadn’t let slip away? ugh Which do you prefer: English or math? English, by light years. Who is a singer that has given you chills? David Draiman's voice in the Disturbed cover of "Sound of Silence" is fucking haunting. Greatest cover of all time. Do you watch America’s Got Talent? I did when Sharon was a judge. Do you think you could win America’s Got Talent? Hell no. What act would you perform in a talent show? uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Have you ever practiced yoga? Yes. I used to be BANGIN at it. What is your favorite thing to buy at the Farmer’s Market? Fruit! Do you get carsickness? No. What color is the rim of your full-length mirror? Black. What is your state’s bird (if you live in the US)? Cardinal. Which style of wedding dress is your favorite? I'm a sucker for ballgown dresses. Do you enjoy editing videos? I used to love it, for many many years. Now, I just don't have the dedication or motivation to. Do you enjoy editing photos? Yes. If you gave birth, do you think you would want it filmed? Um, absolutely not. I would have NO desire to look back on me shrieking my lungs out and essentially dying. I handle abdominal pain very poorly, so I've got a goooood feeling that if I actually wanted to have kids, I'd be that woman screeching like a banshee.

[dianapana]

SasuHina Month 2020- Day 9

Prompt-Prolonged Embraces

The exam had been awful; the questions were formulated in such a way that they were confusing to begin with but the subjects they asked about were also very difficult and hard to cover in 50 words. They had over 30 questions and barely an hour and half to finish, much like her, everyone else walked out of the room with their head bowed looking at the ground and doing everything in their power not to catch someone’s eye in case that person thought to strike up a conversation about said exam. They were also all moving in slow motion and zombie-like. The teacher had been cruel, Hinata had attended all classes, did all the extra work and studied as much as she could. Last night as she was looking over everything one last time, she felt hopeful and sure of her knowledge. When Ino quizzed her, she made no errors. But she barely had time to think so she wrote the first thing to come to mind; she didn’t even have time to look over everything before handing in the exam. Thankfully this had been her last exam this semester, this year and this University experience. Ino finished her exams two days ago and she wanted to go out and celebrate, but Hinata wanted to go home and take a 10-hour nap, wake up eat and then go back to sleep.

“I got out. Not 1 word abt it.” Hinata texted Ino and the blonde replied almost immediately witch a bunch of sad emojis.

Her first stop before going to the apartment and cry a little to let out her frustration and make herself better, was a fast food restaurant, she needed food and fast; thus the location. There was only one person in front of her so she was able to order her sub pretty fast. She sat herself at one of the empty tabled to eat half of it in a hurry. The other half she packed and put in her bag; she’d keep that one for later to eat after waking up.

Ino was in the living room on the sofa applying some more lipstick when Hinata walked in. Ino looked at her with sympathy and gave her a big hug.

“I’m sorry it sucked.” The blonde said but didn’t address more the topic because she knew Hinata didn’t really want to talk about it “What are you gonna do? Do you want to come with me and Sakura to a party?”

Hinata only shook her head. “I’ll go party with you this weekend, now I just want to sleep and forget everything I learned” Ino laughed

“Ok babe, but if you change your mind just shoot me a text and I’ll let you know where I am” The blonde said as she checked her reflection one more time before picking up her fanny pack and putting it around her waist. “Whoever decided to bring these back into fashion was a genius. I have my phone, money and keys in there and I won’t have to worry about losing my clutch or whatever the whole time” Ino’s gratefulness to the fanny-pack-Gods has been something she expressed whenever she went out in the past year.

Hinata went to the fridge and put the remaining half of the sub before kissing Ino’s cheek and dragging herself up the stairs. Before sleeping she decided to take a bath and relax. The tub filled slowly with hot water and she even decided to use one of her citrus bath bombs and some lemon oils. Before stepping into the water, she went to fetch her phone and played some music in the background. The moment she was fully undressed and in the water her muscles started to relax. Her brain started to wander; how she wished Sasuke was there, he would be able to distract so easily. Her body was indeed starting to loosen up but her brain was still overthinking everything about the exam from her actual answers, to how she wrote, wondering if the teacher could even read her scribbles at all especially since she rushed so much. She wrote her name right…?

Shushing her thoughts, she started to wash her body and hair slowly but even as she was rinsing her hair for the second time her brain was still spinning in circles. The bath didn’t seem to help so she got out of it much faster than she wanted. Dressing in her most comfortable pj which were a pair of loose shorts and one of Sasuke’s t-shirts she went to bed after drying her hair for a while; it was still damp but she was too tired to care. She almost wanted to force herself to cry a little because she always felt better after crying but no tears came so she did the next best thing, closed her eyes and thought of Sasuke; of his soft hair under her fingertips, his beautiful eyes when he looked at her, his soft lips as they traced her neck. She fell asleep with Sasuke on her mind and her mind gripped onto that thought and continued it into her dream.

In her dream they were having a panic, they just finished eating and were laying down on the blanket looking at the sky, pointing at clouds and saying what they looked like. She was just pointing to a cat folding origami when Sasuke pulled her closer and started kissing her neck. He breathed her in and hugged her close.

“I missed you so much” Her brain was still half-asleep but she was certain that the voice was real, as were the arms that were holding her close. Hinata opened her eyes wide only to see Sasuke looking down at her; he was still in his uniform. The moment their eyes met she started crying and pulling him as close as she could; her arms were around his neck her legs around his waist; if she could she would live in his embrace.

“I missed you too” she said still crying. She hadn’t seen him in about 4 days, he had been really busy and couldn’t skype; but she hadn’t touched him in over 7 months. Sasuke was a solder in the army and had been deployed for almost 2 years now. He returned for a few weeks when he had been injured 7 months ago but that hadn’t been nearly enough time together.

“How long are you back for?” His deployment only ended in another 3 months as far as Hinata knew. “Oh my God are you hurt again?” She asked and pulled away from him softly and looked at him as he was lying on her bed, he seemed fine.

“I’m not hurt” He told her with a smile and ran his hand over her upper arm. “Things worked faster than then we thought and most of us were sent home. Only a couple people higher in rank had to stay till the end.”

Hinata looked at him for a second. “So…you’re home…for good?” Her voice was trembling.

“Yes. At least until the next deployment which shouldn’t be very soon” His smile was blinding. Her tears were pouring again. Sasuke was on his back on the bed and she crawled on top of him; almost instantly his arms curled around her. They stood there embracing for a really long time. Sasuke was really tired after his journey and Hinata just wanted to hold him close and make sure he was real.

“I’m going to take a shower and change ok?” He asked, his voice was lower and he sounded sleepy. Hinata got up from him and allowed him to go to the bathroom. While he was showering, she went downstairs to the kitchen, she was sure Sasuke was hungry and the only food they had was her half sub which was nearly not enough for both of them. So, she put some water and rice to cook and, in another pan, fried some chicken breasts. The chicken was done quite fast and the rice was still being cooked so she decided to make a sauce; she cut some tomatoes, onions, peppers and carrots and put them into a pan with some salt, garlic, tomatoes sauce and soy sauce. As she was stirring softly two strong arms came from behind and hugged her.

Neither of them said anything; it was common for Hinata to cook while Sasuke was embracing her softly, his head on her shoulder. The rice was cooked so she stopped that burner but the sauce needed a bit more time which was fine since the rice needed to cool off and steam for another 5-10 minutes to be fluffy. The veggie sauce was done too and she turned off the last burner and took a step back into Sasuke. He took one as well and loosened his embrace just enough so she had space to turn around and hug him back.

“Welcome back; I just realized I didn’t even say that” Hinata said as she ran her hands thought his hair, it was longer than last time he was home but just as soft.

“I’m home” He whispered into her neck and kissed the skin just above her collar bone. They didn’t mover for a couple minutes before Sasuke’s stomach started making sounds.

“I think you’re hungry” Hinata said amused. It was amazing how Sasuke made everything better in her world, the exam and her bad mood felt like they had happened ages ago. All she could remember, all that mattered were Sasuke’s hugs. Hinata filled two cups with water while Sasuke fixed 2 plates for them to eat.

“You finished your exams, today right?” Sasuke asked between chewing.

Hinata nodded “Yes, it’s finally over”

“We should celebrate this weekend, you finished University” Sasuke was 3 years older than her; but she was also almost 2 years older than most of her peers; instead of going to Uni right after high school Hinata had to stay back due to some family issues. Sasuke did more courses than normal people for 3 semesters so instead of 4 years he finished University in 2 after which he went directly into the army. Hinata’s dad was also in the army and that’s how they met; during the first event Sasuke attended. They started dating about 2 months after; Hinata was a senior in high school and Sasuke had just joined. (They were 19 and 22 at the time; now they are 25 and 28)

“Of course, we’re celebrating, you’re home” The house was Hinata’s and Sasuke’s but during the 4 years of University Ino rented their guestroom but the blonde packed most of her things and sent them back to her home with a moving truck. She was to leave Wednesday next week.

They ate and talked some more about Hinata’s future plans to teach middle-school English, about Sasuke’s deployment which went really well, besides a few injures, nothing major happened. After they finished eating Sasuke went to wash the dished. Just like he did when she was cooking Hinata hugged him from behind while he was working.

He was finally home; whenever he was gone Hinata always was a bit on the edge but with him close everything was as it should be. “I love you” she said and kissed his shoulder.

“I love you too” Sasuke said and turned around and in a few quick moves picked her up and put her on the counter. He walked between her legs and held her close and kissed her slow and steady. He had missed her so much, not only in a sexual way but in a physical and emotional way. He missed holding her while they slept, missed smelling her perfume everywhere around him, missed her voice and they way she held his hand whenever they were walking together even if it was in the supermarket. Her positivism and innocence also were things he craved. He missed everything that made her her.

He deepened the kiss and Hinata crossed her legs over his waist. He placed his hands under her butt and picked her up still not breaking the kiss. Sasuke knew the house well enough to navigate it while kissing her but Hinata broke the kiss when they reached the stairs and smiled at him.

“Let’s go to our room” She said still smiling beautifully at him. Every part of her body was touching his in their embrace and nothing had ever felt that perfect before.

“Yes, let’s go” He would sleep with her in his arms today; of course, after ravishing some of her innocence.

[vmheadquarters]

We’re still playing our game of written hot potato! Dozens of your favorite authors are taking turns to tell a Veronica Mars mystery story. Each writer crafts their chapter and then “tosses” the story to the next person to continue the tale. No one knows what will happen, so expect the unexpected!

Follow the “vmhq presents” and “murder we wrote” tags for all the installments, or read the story as it develops on AO3. --Chapter Twenty-Six of MURDER, WE WROTE is written by @jeanie205​. And stayed tuned next week for Ch.27 from @nevertothethird​ - tag, you’re it!

_____________________________________________________________

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX by @jeanie205​

Business hadn’t exactly been booming at Mars Investigations lately, and even though she knew her dad was right, that the PI business, like almost everything else, was cyclical, Veronica still chafed under the inactivity.

She’d filled in her time the past few days with a flurry of office organization and some paperwork she’d been putting off for weeks, interspersed with a couple of bread-and-butter infidelity stakeouts. But either the unfaithful spouses had gotten stupider over the years, or Veronica had just gotten a lot better at sussing them out.  Because while the pay had been good - great, in fact - it hadn’t taken her long to come up with the Money Shots.

So now she was at loose ends again.  Even Mac had taken the day off after completing her update of the MI website, which she’d told Veronica was “a disaster.”

“They aren’t going to hire you if your site looks like it was designed in a high school IT class,” Mac had said, shaking her head. 

For as much good as it’s done so far, Veronica thought, sitting alone in her office with nothing to do.

Her glance fell unconsciously to her bottom right-hand desk drawer.  The deep one.

Well, maybe she didn't exactly have nothing to do.  

There was a case of sorts, if she wanted to count guessing the ending of a whodunit written by the least likely mystery writer she could ever have imagined.  An activity that Veronica had so far found not particularly entertaining.  Mostly because the plot was already so convoluted that she doubted the eventual reveal could ever make much sense.

On the other hand, she’d become rather fond of Ruby Jetson, and knew they probably owed her for helping to exonerate Logan of murder.  Besides which, she had promised.

With a guilty sigh, Veronica pulled open the drawer and hefted out a thick envelope.

Ruby had brought her the manuscript nearly a week earlier, eager to know if the story was good enough to “fool” the seasoned detective.  Although she’d shown up without an appointment, Veronica had taken the time to read several chapters, Ruby smiling delightedly whenever she’d frowned in puzzlement.

“I knew it was a good mystery,” Ruby had boasted gleefully.  “That even you wouldn’t be able to figure it out.”

By then, it had become apparent that Ruby expected her to read the whole damn book right then and there!  Thank god Mac had soon caught on and poked her head in the office door, reminding Veronica about “her appointment.”

Ruby had looked disappointed when Veronica carefully re-stacked the loose manuscript pages and slipped them into the large envelope, stowing everything away in her bottom drawer.

“I’ll finish it soon,” she’d promised faithfully.

But she never had, although Ruby had called every day, looking for an update.

“Hurry up, Veronica,” she’d complained only the day before, the exasperation clear in her voice.  “I need to send it to my publisher.”

Veronica had been surprised.  Ruby already had a publisher?

As she slipped the manuscript out of the envelope, quickly flipping to the red post-it she’d left to hold her place, she fleetingly wondered who in hell might actually want to publish Ruby’s novel.

Picking up where she’d left off, Veronica noted the same peculiarity that had struck her the week before.  Ruby’s chapters often varied so wildly in both style and format that it was almost like they’d been written by different people.  She paused in her reading, considered for a moment if Ruby might have some kind of dual personality disorder.  After all, the woman did have two names.

Or... maybe the answer was much simpler.  Maybe Ruby had a collaborator, the same person, Veronica thought with growing certainty, who’d passed along all the personal information that Ruby could never have dug up, no matter how much “research” she’d done.    

And that was another thing.  Veronica’s annoyance rose as she came across yet another intimate-sounding encounter between book-Veronica and book-Logan. Ruby had promised her faithfully that the names in her roman a clef-slash-murder mystery would definitely be changed in the next draft.  Veronica sure as hell hoped she followed through.  Otherwise, the fledgling author was going to be bombarded with lawsuits. And Veronica Mars would be at the head of the line.

She sighed, turning back to the story just in time to find that... Ruby had killed herself off!  

Or at least, she’d killed off Della Pugh.

Veronica’s eyes narrowed in surprise at this fictional turn of events.  Was this some sort of symbolic “killing” of her original self so that her Ruby persona could thrive?  She shook her head, finally deciding she was no better as a psychologist than she was a literary critic.  She flipped quickly to the next chapter and soon wished she hadn’t.  A delusional, Veronica-obsessed Duncan Kane was not exactly pleasant company.

Veronica was considering with wry amusement how the man himself might view his portrayal (should he ever see it) when she was startled by the ringing of a phone.  Not the office land line but the cell phone that she had to dig out from the depths of her well-loved but totally inconvenient studded black leather bag.  

She might not have even bothered had the sounds of the Perishers’ “Sway” not told her it was Logan calling.  She’d assigned him that ringtone in a burst of nostalgia the same day she’d updated his photo from pukka beads to dress blues.

The fact that he was calling was in itself unnerving.  If Logan wanted to communicate with her during the day, he almost always texted.  So of course her mind went immediately to the worst-case scenario.

“Logan!  Is everything okay?  Is my dad...”

“Veronica!” Logan cut in on her abruptly.  “Are you watching the news?  Turn on the news!”

“Wh-what? You mean, like... CNN?”

“No.  The local news.  It’s a breaking story on a continuous loop.”

“Okay.”   Mystified, she grabbed the remote from a drawer and powered up the wall TV that she hardly ever used.

And there was that creepy newscaster, the one who invariably reminded her of Vinnie Van Lowe.

“... a tragedy right here in Neptune last night when promising new writer Ruby Jetson was murdered in her own home.”

Veronica gasped.  It couldn’t be!

“Veronica!  You still there?”

“Yeah, Logan, I’m here.  I can’t... I can’t believe it.”

“Believe it.  And there’s more.  Keep watching.”

Onscreen, the newscaster was just beginning the introduction of an “important witness” to the tragedy.

“We’re fortunate to have with us here in the studio the man who discovered the body of Ms. Jetson.  Neptune’s very own school principal turned book publisher, Mr. Van Clemmons.”

Veronica nearly fell off her chair.  Holy shit! Clemmons was Ruby’s publisher?

She quickly turned up the volume, desperate to hear every word.

“I understand you were about to publish Ms. Jetson’s first novel, Mr. Clemmons?” the Vinnie-clone asked in that fake tone of sympathetic interest that all newscasters somehow managed to perfect.

Clemmons nodded.

“That’s right.  Of course, I’d known her as Della Pugh back when she was at Neptune High, but she’d made some changes in her life, and if she preferred to be Ruby Jetson, who was I to say she shouldn’t?”

Veronica rolled her eyes.  Right, Van.  You were always so forward-thinking.

“And the book?” the newscaster encouraged, refusing to be shifted off-topic by anything about the actual victim herself.

“Well, ah, Ruby came to me with the idea.  Some kind of murder mystery.  Very popular genre, of course.  But the story was to be based on people she’d known in high school. I thought it sounded... promising. And she was just about to deliver the first draft.  Said she’d finished it but was waiting for some feedback from a trusted friend.”

Veronica blinked.  A trusted friend?

She wrenched her mind away from dwelling on the sheer... unexpectedness of Ruby regarding her as a friend, because Clemmons was still talking and she didn’t want to miss a word.

“Ruby kept delaying turning in the first draft, so I stopped by last night to see if I could... hurry her along.”

Clemmons paused briefly, and for the first time looked visibly shaken.

“And that’s when I... found her.”

The newscaster nodded slowly.  “Not a pleasant experience.”

“No, indeed,” Clemmons agreed.

“And the book?”  Vinnie’s doppelgänger was not to be thwarted.

Clemmons shook his head sadly.  “I’m afraid that’s not going to happen after all. Only Ruby had copies of the manuscript, but there weren’t any in her apartment. And her laptop was missing, too.”

“The police...?”

“Didn’t find anything, either.”

“So the book won’t be published.”

Clemmons shrugged.  “I can’t publish what I don’t have.”

The newscaster paused to make sure that viewers caught the significance of his next question.

“Do you think it’s possible that poor Ruby was killed because of something in that book?”

Clemmons hesitated.  “I suppose it could be,” he said finally.  “But I guess we’ll never know.  If there ever was a manuscript, it’s gone forever.”

Veronica stared at the screen for long seconds before she muttered the words under her breath.

“No, Van.  Not quite fucking gone.”

She switched off the television and picked up her phone.  “You still there, Logan?”

“No, I’m here,” he said, appearing suddenly in the office doorway.  “Thought maybe I should come by.”

She nodded, and as one their eyes fell on the loose pages still sitting in the middle of Veronica’s desk.

In seconds, she’d scooped them up and shoved them back into the envelope. But this time, the manuscript wasn’t crammed unceremoniously back into that deep bottom drawer.  This time, Veronica opened their rarely-used safe and locked the thick envelope securely inside.

Veronica thought Logan must have sensed how shaken she suddenly felt because he was across the room like a shot, and in seconds she was wrapped in his arms.

“I’m sorry, Veronica,” Logan said softly, breathing the words into her hair.

“Yeah, me, too,” she murmured into his shoulder.

Then she took a deep breath and stepped back from Logan’s arms, determination stiffening her spine as she gazed up at him.

“Somebody killed Ruby over that damn book, Logan. And we’re gonna figure out who the hell did it.” 

[abigailzimmer]

Favorite Reads of 2020

In this year of slowness, thank god for books to make the world a little larger again. I read several classics for the first time—Shelley’s Frankenstein and Rachel Carson’s Silent Spring and Bernadette Mayer’s Midwinter Day—all of which felt important to return to the source material, to see how these books shaped those that came after them. And I delved into new books from favorite authors whose words I will always seek out—like Kelly Schirmann’s The New World and Heather Christle’s The Crying Book—and I branched out into mystery and romance books because they kept pages turning and tidied everything up so neatly at the end, which if not my usual fare, was sorely needed in this strange year. But since I do love a list, here are the books that sung to me / inspired me / shaped me:

1. Exquisitely told and inventive in form, Women Talking by Miriam Toews centers on a group of Mennonite women in South America who discover they're being drugged and raped during the night by the men in their community. While the men are away, the women meet to decide whether they will stay and forgive their attackers, as their community’s religious leaders ask them to, or leave the colony and start anew. Their conversation over the course of two days questions the role of women, what freedom and forgiveness really mean, how to fulfill one’s calling as a woman, mother, and believer, whether one must choose one thing over another, and whether staying or leaving carries the greater risk. It’s a thoughtful and creative approach to hard questions and the complicated reasons why there’s never a right answer.

2. Ilya Kaminsky's collection, Dancing in Odessa, was one of the first books of contemporary poetry I ever read, lent to me by a friend in college, and I remember being stunned at what poetry could be and do. Deaf Republic stuns in the same way. The poems are incredibly cinematic, telling the story of an occupied town and its people and a couple who fall in love. When a young, deaf boy is shot by the soldiers, the entire town pretends deafness in rebellion, finding excuses to not understand the soldiers. They bear witness to the boy’s death and honor his life. Though a fictional town, the call to political action, to really see those who are being oppressed and stand for justice with them, is resonant for any time and place. Plus, Ilya writes the most beautiful love poems.

3. Another cinematically-inclined poetry book is GennaRose Nethercott’s The Lumberjack’s Dove. In this long poem/myth/fable, a lumberjack accidentally cuts off his hand, which turns into a dove, and then a story parts ways. The lumberjack is not just a lumberjack and the hand-turned-dove is not just a hand-turned-dove, and the story visits both an operating room and a witch, and the story, of course, is one you've heard before and one that brings surprise and wonder to the telling. I simply adored it.

"Living creatures believe they own something as soon as they love it. They refuse to believe otherwise, no matter how many times a beloved vanishes."

4. I fell in love—hard—with The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller and her exquisite, queer love story between Achilles and Patroclus. Miller’s writing is wonderful and after reading her novel Circe as well—another fantastic retelling of Greek myths—I spent the remainder of the year searching for a novel that compared.

5. Some books meet you in the right moment. The Sound of a Wild Snail Eating by Elisabeth Tova Bailey is a slow and attentive book on small things, which in 2020’s period of waiting and uprootedness was a gift. Due to chronic illness, Bailey finds herself confined to a bed with little to do. Her friend brings her a potted plant and a snail whose pace of life, matching her own, becomes a comfort and lessons her loneliness. As she watches, she learns intimately the snail's eating and sleeping habits, its daily adventures, and the conditions it best thrives in. Later she delves into the literature and science of gastropods and weaves her notes in with her own observations and stories of the snail. Her writing is light and funny and holds such tenderness for this very small creature.

"In the History of Animals, Aristotle noted that snail teeth are 'sharp, and small, and delicate.' My snail possessed around 2,640 teeth, so I'd add the word plentiful to Aristotle's description....With only thirty-two adult teeth, which had to last the rest of my life, I found myself experiencing tooth envy toward my gastropod companion. It seemed far more sensible to belong to a species that had evolved natural tooth replacement than to belong to one that had developed the dental profession. Nonetheless, dental appointments were one of my favorite adventures, as I could count on being recumbent. I could see myself settling into the dental chair, opening my mouth for my dentist, and surprising him with a human-sized radula."

6. Insecurity System by Sara Wainscott was one of my favorite books published in 2020. The poems in it make up four crowns—a series of sonnets in which the last line of each poem becomes the first line (or an echo of it) of the next. The playfulness of the form as well as the topics give the book an energy: Sara muses on time travel, levitation, memory, flowers ("people who read poems know a rose / is how the poet drags in genitalia"), motherhood, Mars, and mythical transformations (children tell their mothers they have turned to seals “and it is true”). Sara is funny and wry, and yet she also captures some difficult emotions of grief and depression, a struggle with complacency amid daily obligations “Sentences become drawn out affairs / but I am doing what I can / to answer one word each day.” The poems move from the mundane to a hard feeling and then onward to wonder and a bit of the fantastical, which I guess is just how life goes—I love how these emotions are all rolled together and always shifting.

7. Asiya Wadud’s powerful long poem Syncope is one I’ve returned to often throughout the year. She tells the story of 72 refugees who fled Tripoli in an inflatable boat in 2011 and were stranded for 14 days, despite the presence of 38 maritime vessels who could have rescued them, but didn’t. Instead, only 11 passengers survived. Syncope is both an indictment against those who did not act and a eulogy for the dead, returning humanity to people who were deemed not worth saving but who were “luminous in that / we were each born under the / fabled light of some star.”

“We began as 72 ascendants by that I mean we were a collective many each bound for greatness merely in the fact that we were each still living”

8. Eula Biss’s Having and Being Had is a thoughtful and exploratory conversation about capitalism and its effects on what we do and how we think. In a series of short vignettes, Eula picks apart what consumption, work, accounting, and investment mean on a personal and everyday level (albeit a white, middle class level). Who defines value among boys trading Pokemon cards and how did Monopoly's origins in economic injustice shift to pride in bankrupting players and if one of Eula's favorite things about being a new house owner is easy access to a laundry machine, is her house merely a $400,000 container for one washer and dryer? Her essays bounce from work that is valued, unseen or shamed; the perceptions and realities of being poor or rich; our approach to gift-giving and art-making and pleasure—weaving together research, observations, and conversations with friends.

9. In Grief Sequence, poet Prageeta Sharma’s grieves the loss of her husband in a kind of journal, tracing the memories of his diagnosis, the hard and normal days, the days before diagnosis, and the days after he is gone during which she tries to make sense of her new reality: “How gauche it is to be in this body being unseen by you now,” she writes. “You are not you anymore and I am trying to understand how a human with feelings has disappeared.” Her writing is excellent but it is hard to sit with and next to her pain, and it makes me wonder: when does one read such a book? When you’ve also lost a beloved to cancer? To be in conversation with someone who has, with Prageeta? Do you read for the sake of the living or to honor a body who was once here? Prageeta writes, “Poetry and grief are the same: you are taught to care about it when it happens to you.” I don’t know who to recommend this book to, but it spoke to me, and I’m glad she wrote it, as a monument, of sorts, to a specific togetherness and to a person.

10. The Lives of the Monster Dogs by Kirsten Bakis is a strange and sweet book about a race of genetically-engineered dogs, created initially to be soldiers, who move to New York in the ‘90s while still holding onto the customs and dress of nineteenth-century Prussia, which is to say: I don't know if I ever would have picked this book up had a friend not recommended it. Told through news clippings, letters, journal entries, an opera(!), and the first-person account of a human who befriends them, their story has echoes of Frankenstein as the monster dogs reflect on their creator and what it is to be human, to have purpose and hope, to wrestle with a clouded past and an uncertain future. "It's a terrible thing to be a dog and know it," writes one monster dog scholar after some of the dogs begin to revert back to their primal state. I loved the varied forms, the piecing together of the dog’s history, and the surreal mark they left in the book’s world and my world.

For more books throughout the year, follow along on Instagram at book.wreck.