#god tho he just looks So Good....... i am going insane :)

[carnavoyeur]

Josh Homme @ Pinkpop 2023

[ohbo-ohno]

Okay but *gulp* soap with his dick slipping out and accidentally pressing into the wrong hole. Doesn’t stop him from continuing tho

listen LISTEN listen - yeah!! soap is 100% the kind of asshole to do this!!

1.7k soap x f!reader "wrong hole" drabble 🫶 (cw: pwp smut, noncon anal sex between partners (also unrealistic anal sex), pussy drunk johnny)

You arch further into Johnny, slick skin sliding along slick skin as your mouth drops open on a moan.

“Jo-Johnny,” you pant, gripping tightly to his broad shoulders. “Feels ssooo- so good.”

“Yeah?” He grunts from above you, mohawk messy and dripping sweat. “Bet it- bet it feels big, huh?”

You whine, pushing your hips closer to him as he slams home inside of you. “So big,” you agree, your mind draining from you slowly as he pulls nearly the entire way out on every thrust, leaving you almost empty before filling you to the brim. “God, you’re so good, Johnny.”

“Fuck, yes,” he pants, arms wrapping around your back and squeezing you tight to him. Your hips are pushed a little further up, a little closer to him. You wrap both your legs around his waist, hold him as tight as he does you. He only manages to keep up his rhythm through pure strength, easily able to overpower your grip.

“So good,” he mimics, eyes squeezed shut. You can’t look away from him - the sweat dripping down the side of his tanned face, the wrinkles and scars decorating his skin, the way he looks like he’s either in agony or euphoria. “Feel so perfect, so tight. Fuck, missed you so much, lass, missed your perfect cunt.”

Your eyes nearly roll back in your head when he hits the perfect spot inside of you, body limp in his arms. You feel almost like a doll, like a toy for him to fuck, but he’s so good at it that you can’t even begin to care.

The both of you devolve into moans, occasionally trying to speak and choking on your words. You might feel embarrassed of what a mess Johnny’s made of you, if he weren’t in the same condition.

He pulls out completely on several thrusts in a row, both of you gasping at the sensation - you, because it’s a shock to go from nothing to everything completely and him, because every thrust inside of you when he’s pulled all the way out feels like the first. You dig your nails into his muscles, pushing your chest against his for all the physical contact you can manage.

It happens too quickly for you to even really notice. One second Johnny is rearranging your guts, giving you the best dick of your life, and the next you feel like you’re being torn in two.

You nearly scream, eyes flying open and nails dragging down his back, peeling skin off. Johnny’s loud groan drowns you out almost entirely, and he doesn’t seem to notice what he’s done.

You notice. Your unstretched ass feels like it’s on fire, and after your first sound of shock you can’t get enough breath in to try and say it hurts. 

Johnny can’t thrust the whole way in, like he had in your pussy. Your body gives him too much resistance, which is what finally makes him realize.

You’re nearly blinded by the tears filling your eyes when he finally blinks open, staring down at you.

“Holy shit,” he breathes, and you can feel his heart racing against your chest. “Did I-? Am I in your-?”

“Pull out,” you gasp, tapping at his back desperately. “Oh my god, Johnny, pull out, I can’t- fuck, you’re too big.”

That’s the wrong thing to say - instead of pulling out, he groans, dropping his forehead to yours and letting his eyes fall shut again. You let out a long, high whine when his hips push forward, slowly spearing you further and further on his cock.

You’re made mute by the pain, left only with your nails as defense as you try and tear his back to shreds. You should know better, though - Johnny’s a masochist, and pain you inflict only drives him more insane.

“God, you’re fuckin’ stranglin’ me,” he pants, pulling out just enough to force himself a few inches deeper. “Thought your cunt was tight, but it’s nothin’ compared to this.”

“Johnny- please.”

“So fucking warm.” He looks nearly delirious above you, pupils blown so wide you can barely see his iris even as close as you are. “Tight.”

“Johnny,” you whine, even as the slide becomes a little bit easier from all the slick dripping from your cunt. “Hurts, please, you gotta… gotta stop.”

He makes a sound that’s somewhere between soothing and a snarl, a low sound that makes you instinctually arch further towards him and then yelp when that gives him more leverage.

“You’re fine,” he comforts - well, the words should be a comfort but his tone is almost dismissive. “You’re wet, I can feel it.”

“Not enough,” you cry, half choking on a sob when you feel him finally bottom out inside of you. “Ok, ok, please pull- pull out, Johnny.”

“But you feel so good,” he purrs, butting his nose against your temple. “Fuckin’ hot little ass, huh lass? You’re squeezin’ me so good, you sure you want me to pull out?”

“Yes!”

You feel the sharp smile pressed against your temple and hiccup a sob, shifting your legs so that instead of wrapping around him you’re trying to push him away. But he’s too strong for you to make him move, and he only shoves himself even further inside of you by leaning his weight forward.

“I think you’re lying,” he almost sings, grinding his hips deep inside of you. He shifts briefly, holding himself above you on one arm and sneaking the other between your bodies and down to your pussy.

You cry out when his fingers work quickly at your clit, tight fast circle that have you shaking and moaning. It’s almost enough to drown out the pain of having your back hole stretched so ruthlessly - almost.

“Here,” he says, dipping his hand down a little further to almost scoop the slick dripping from you, smearing it around your plugged hole like he’s trying to make up for the lack of lube in the first place. He pulls out about halfway, thrusting back in and moaning when you cry out. “Th-there, how’s that feel?”

“Still hurts,” you manage to get out through your sobs, eyes squeezed shut against the pain.

Johnny’s panting like a dog above you as he starts to fuck you again, his pace sharper and uncaring about your sensitivity. You can’t help but clench down, your inner muscles squeezing tight in an attempt to push him out that only drags him further in. 

You can’t do anything but lay there and take it - as he moans repeatedly into your ear - while he fucks you. The pain eases after a bit, your own wetness making the path at least slightly easier, but the sharp sting never fully dissipates. Your tears don’t dry up, and you’re nowhere close to the orgasm that had been building before.

Johnny’s your complete opposite - he’s lost in his own pleasure, and your desperate scratches down his back only make things better for him. If you’d thought he was euphoric before, he looks like he’s found Nirvana now. You’re not sure if he’s so wrapped up in his own pleasure that he can’t hear your pain, or if your pain is what’s driving him more and more insane with pleasure.

For your own sake, you pray it’s the first.

He doesn’t last long - thank God - and only a few minutes later his thrusts get choppier and choppier, jerking in and out of you without any rhythm at all.

“Gonna make me come, bonnie, fuck.”

You can only stare wide-eyed at the ceiling as Johnny buries his face in the crook of your neck and comes deep inside of your ass, the hot spurt of his come a distant sensation with the stretch of his cock still at the front of your mind.

“Alright, alright, pull… pull out now, Johnny, please,” you beg again, too shell-shocked to even flinch at the embarrassing crack in your voice.

He obeys wordlessly, pulling his limp cock out slowly enough to make you whine when he finally leaves you empty.

“Hush, hush,” he quiets you, pressing a kiss to your cheekbone and brushing over your spread hole with his fingers. You jolt and whine, turning to press your face into his sweat-soaked mohawk. “You’re alright, didn’t even tear.”

“You-you sure?” You sniffle.

He chuckles a little, the sound vibrating through your chests. “Yeah, you’re alright, lass. Didn’t think I would really hurt you, did’ya?”

You can only whine.

His fingers dip inside your back hole just long enough to drag out some of his come, moving up to shove it inside of your pussy.

“There ya go,” he soothes, repeating the process again and again. “Still got a nice load in your guts, you're alright." His fingers lift to your clit, rubbing in perfect circles to make you arch and gasp, squirming for more pleasure despite the growing ache in your other hole.

He brings you to a slow orgasm, one that has the last of your tears dripping down your cheeks and clinging to his shoulders like a life raft. Your breaths are uneven, heartbeat quick in your chest, and you feel fuzzy around the edges.

Unlike usual, Johnny stops at one orgasm. You almost expect him to keep going like he always does, never satisfied with less than three for you and two for him, but he pulls his hand away after your first pained whines start again.

He doesn’t get off of you, letting his weight push you deeper and deeper into the couch cushions. You wrap your arms around his neck, holding him close to you and breathing in his musk. It takes a while to get your breathing even again, though Johnny’s levels out in moments.

You only let your eyes close once his snores start up, loud in your ear. The rumbling of his chest is a comfort, and you float into sleep with Johnny’s sweaty body pressed firmly against every part of yours, and the ache in your ass only growing more noticeable with every breath.

[fictionismyreality3]

How Price Flirts

Warnings: romance and everything that comes with it

Notes: I am a pure and holy person (I would wear his bucket hat while we fu-)

the cheekiness of this man is only rivalled by god 😤

he will tease you and he WON’T stop until your a blushing mess

little quips about how you’re wearing your hair differently, how your uniform looks, what you’re reading on your breaks

once he’s okay with the fact that he likes you, he doesn’t give a fuck about anything but making you his

if your younger than him, expect comments about your age

“Come ‘ere, little one.” “I’m literally an adult, John.” “You’re still little to me, sweetheart.”

he won’t admit it, but he has a massive age gap kink 🤤 and it WILL influence how he interacts with you

in his eyes, you’re the most precious thing ever

every little thing you do is just so cute and he would gladly show tell you

if you make a mistake during training, he’ll be on your ass for the rest of the day

not in an annoying way tho, he’ll just endlessly joke about how “you seem distracted, luv’”

if you’re shorter than him he’s gonna use you as an arm rest 🤭

he WILL come to stand beside you only to rest his arm on top of your head and WILL keep a totally straight face the whole time, not missing a beat if he’s talking

but he’s not just a cheeky bastard

he’s insanely protective 😭 like to the point where it’s probably unhealthy

when you and the team go out, he’s always either within 10 feet of you, or sitting with the squad and glaring at anyone who comes near you

the man will use all 6’ feet of himself to stand between you and anyone who he thinks doesn’t deserve to look at you have good intentions

he’s big and he knows it

if you’re sitting across from him and he catches your gaze straying he will spread his legs to make you stare at his cock slip up

once he’s attached to you he’s not letting go easily

when you’re around other people who aren’t in the 141, he’ll take off his bucket hat and put on you 🥺 and won’t let you take it off

you wouldn’t realize but everyone else with half a brain knows it’s his subtle way of marking his territory

[dumbseee]

soft launch.

in which, mick is soft launching you.

mich schumacher x reader.

fc: sophia birlem.

liked by maxverstappen1, estebanocon, y/n and 789 009 others.

mickschumacher: holiday season 🏝🗺

_

fan1: wait a damn minute…

fan2: WHO IS THAT

fan3: with all due respect you look delicious but WHO is that lovely lady?

fan4: the pic is so cute omg

fan5: whoever that is i hope she’s good to him

fan6: NOT MY HUSBAND

fan7: mick soft launching?

fan8: the rings 🫠

fan9: who is that slut next to mick?

fan10: new wag alert

fan11: those comments are not it, he’s a grown ass man let him be

fan12: i bet he’s going to ditch her after summer ends lmao

view all comments.

_

mickschumacher just posted a story!

y/n just posted a story!

liked by mickschumacher, estebanocon, francisca.cgomes and 240 103 others.

y/n: say hi to mickey <3

_

fan1: YOURE SO BEAUTIFUL OMG

fan2: mick is one lucky mf

fan3: they’re going to break up in a month mark my words

fan4: i’m literally heartbroken rn

fan5: my new parents

fan6: girlie run they’re coming for you

francisca.cgomes: cuties

liked by y/n.

fan7: they compliment each other so well tho

mickschumacher: hi pretty lady

liked by y/n.

fan8: mick i hope you can fight bc your girlfriend is GORG

fan9: the pictures are so cute omg

fan10: the mick girlies already crying in the comments

fan11: he hid her so well wdym he had a whole gf this entire time?

fan12: i’m so happy for him qjjabakzlzm

fan13: thanks for your service y/n, we now have tons of pictures of bf material mick

y/n: 🫡

fan14: the BIG ASS hickey in the first picture wtf

fan15: ew you can tell she’s classless

view all comments.

liked by mickschumacher, lilymhe, carmenmundt and 192 023 others.

y/n: my camera roll is full of cats we met on the street and mickey

_

carmenmundt: ♥️

fan1: their vibe is so chill, they really match each other

fan2: i’m a lil sad that mick is dating someone but she seems nice

estebanocon: i see two owls in that pic

fan3: nooooo they’re so cute

fan4: she’s getting so much hate on twitter but she’s just minding her business??

fan5: WHORE

fan6: don’t worry guys she won’t last till the end of the season 🤭

fan7: the obsession y’all have with random men who don’t even know y’all exist is insane

fan8: so CUTE

fan9: i bet mick paid for everything lmao

mickschumacher: she actually paid the whole trip, i’m just her sugar baby

fan10: JAKQOSPSPPSPSOS BRO

fan11: and that’s how you clap back at haters, guys

fan12: if only others drivers were defending their gfs like mick is defending y/n

view all comments.

liked by mickschumacher, estebanocon, luisinhaoliveira99 and 501 019 others.

y/n: ‘cars outside’ is out :)

_

fan1: not it being a love song for mick :(

fan2: WHY am i crying hysterically about two adults being in love

fan3: "oh darling, all of the city lights, never shine as bright as your eyes." GOD

mickschumacher: why did i do to deserve you?

fan4: they’re so in love it’s almost disgusting

fan5: esteban will have to third wheel now lmao

estebanocon: i’ve been third wheeling for a year now

fan6: A YEAR???

fan7: THEY’VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR A YEAR??

fan8: a year like 365 days? damn schumacher

fan9: nah but hiding a whole gf for a year when you have crazy groupies up your ass every single day is insane

fan10: the cutest couple if you ask me

fan11: i just fell to my knees

fan12: WHEN IS IT MY TURN GODDAMNIT

view all comments.

taglist: @ferrariloverr

[etherealstar-writes]

I WANNA BE YOURS | LIONESSES X READER | PT 7

pairings: lionesses x reader

summary: in which you're accidentally added to a random group chat, not knowing they're all actually famous footballers, and obliviously end up having many of them competing for your love and attention.

part: seven

part one here

✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦

THE NATIONAL DIVING TEAM

the REAL karate kid

good afternoon losers

and y/n <3

the imposter

hey

willybum

good afternoon you dumbass

and hello to you too y/n

the REAL karate kid

rude

how are you y/n?

the imposter

eh i'm doing fine i guess

stairway

is everything alright

the imposter

i got fired from work today 😔

lotte

what happened?

if you don't mind me asking

the imposter

so i told ya what i do for work yeah?

well i've worked for this company for the past

whole year as their main solo media manager

and then my boss found out that his good old

friend's son was looking for a job and he's also

a photographer and social media manager so he

decided to fire me and hire him instead to

keep his relationship strong with his old friend

the REAL karate kid

that really sucks

your boss sounds like a terrible person

the imposter

yeah he was a really difficult person

i am kinda glad tho ngl

i don't have to see his annoying face ever again

but back to job hunting again 😔

neev

if it makes you feel better

leah got head-shotted in the head

by lessi during training

the imposter

i really hope someone got proof of it

stairway

i gotcha

maya

HELP

lotte

got K.O-ed lol

willybum

this isn't funny

i got a full on concussion

i'll get you back russo

the REAL karate kid

not my fault you're a terrible defender 🤷‍♀️

willybum

EXCUSE ME?!

the imposter

dam

them calves 😮‍💨

has anyone ever asked you

to step on them?

neev

um y/n is there something you'd

like to share with the group ...

willybum

weirdly enough yeah

i have been asked that

elton

it was actually just y/n asking

on a secret account

the imposter

don't expose me like that 😩

meado

every time i open this group chat

i get deeply concerned for you all again

i don't even know who y/n is and i feel like

i should be concerned about her as well

the imposter

woah

meado

i thought we were getting along well 😔

stairway

well if meado is concerned then

i guess she's offering to pay for

our therapy so let's go gang

the imposter

also

why do guys always train and

play football together?

elton

oh you know

we just like to play football together at times

stairway

yeah

it's fun

the imposter

okay ....

who am i to judge

✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦

THE LION KING SQUAD

russo

uh

so guys

i have done something

toone

oh no

that is never a good sign

le tissier

okay i'm intrigued

this is gonna be bad

wubben-moy

the fact that she's using the group chat

without y/n is not a good sign

stanway

is she about to introduce her new wife

to us or something? did you like run away

and get married in vegas or something?

charles

we literally saw her yesterday georgia

so if she had then that would be

insanely impressive

toone

is that why you weren't at training today?

greenwood

ella looked very lost today

it was worrying

russo

yeah

i ran away with y/n and we got married

toone

HUH

stanway

WHAT

charles

EXCUSE ME

russo

OF COURSE NOT YOU IDIOTS

not yet anyway 😏

but back to the point

leah was also in on this

bright

oh like that's any better

williamson

excuse me??

wubben-moy

here we go

russo

okay

so

you know how y/n's looking for a job yeah?

well leah and i thought we'd put in a

good word for her in our media admin so

that you know .... maybe she can get

offered a job here and you know we can

actually meet her and get to know her irl ....

stanway

that is actually ....

the most decent idea i've heard from ya

charles

yeah fr

hemp

oh my god y'all are such simps

stanway

shut up

toone

i do wonder when y/n will find out about

who we are or if she ever will

charles

nah she's got to find out soon with

the euros starting next week?

williamson

i reckon we tell her after the euros

wubben-moy

well that shall be eventful

part eight here

[starbabyg]

Can you do a smutty jack Hughes (like juraj and arber) ??

Jack Hughes smutty thots

you don’t gotta tell me twice to write about my baby daddy!!

Jack has such boyfriend energy when it comes to sex

Like that boyfriend you have in college that you experiment with and the two of you have a lot of firsts together

He loves having sex anywhere and anytime

He’ll drag you into the locker room before a game

“Come on y/n, no one’s in here they’re all on the ice for warm ups. It’ll be quick.”

You’re always so hesitant but somehow he always convinces you

He spends a lot of time beforehand just staring at your naked body

Hands running down your chest and stomach, “Fuck, you’re just so perfect”

Ohhhh how fine he looks as he bites his lip

Sometimes he forgets foreplay, that horny boy just wants to get straight to fucking

So you talk him through a lot

“Am I doing it right?” He’ll ask innocently as he’s going down on you

He’ll always look up at you while he gives you head, always trying to make sure you feel good

The fingering and clit sucking combo he does is immaculate

Once he gets the hang of it he’s perfect

He hits juuuust the right spot with his index and middle finger while swirling his tongue around your rose bud

When you squeal in pleasure he can’t help but laugh while still attached to you, chuckles reverberating through you

Much more of a receiver than a giver, he’s selfish with sex (he’s such a spoiled brat but I can’t help but love him)

He just lovessss how good you look while choking on his length

Holding your hair in a ponytail, he nods in approval “mmhmm just like that. Keep going and I’m gonna cum babe”

I feel like his dick is so pretty

Like it’s cut and the tip is a cute rosy pink. It has a single vein that just runs up the underside.

He either keeps is nice and trimmed or has a small bush, not too much tho cause he’s a manscaper lmfao

He has a lil happy trail that leads from his v-line downwards

It’s not a thick happy trail but it’s visible

He’s a biter

He loves to leave sloppy kisses along your tummy that end in tiny lil bites

It just leaves shivers down your spine

I feel like he loves a good hair tug

you give him the slightest bit of pressure when you tug his locks, ouuu it sets him off

He’s a freak for public sex

Has a list of places he wants to do it. This includes a beach, the movies, while he drives, and on the private plane (which are all going to be smuts soon wink wink lmk which one to do first)

He also has a voyeurism kink,,

Like he loves to fuck your loudly while his friends are over

It’s like he wants all of them to hear you screaming his name

“Mhmm, let ‘em know who’s making you feel this fucking good”

He’s just always so horny

He has to fuck you like five times a day

He wakes up, wants to fuck, before practice, wants to fuck, right before bed, wants to fuck

It’s insane that his skinny lil body has all that stamina

He loves to cuddle afterwards

He keeps a rag/baby wipes by the bed so he can clean you up as fast as possible because he just wants to lay in your arms

He honestly just loves being [half] naked with you

Little to no clothes is his favorite

He loves when you just wear one of his t shirts and your panties

It’s easier to access, just bend you over and fuck you wherever you are

Sex with him is just fun and cute

It gets hot and heavy

But it’s like young love sex

It’s romantic and silly and something you just remember forever

God I’m getting heartbroken cause I can’t fuck him rn!!!!

[fairyhaos]

how seventeen help their s/o who experiences vertigo

requested by anon: "svt + an so who sometimes gets dizzy when they stand up too fast ? is that called vertigo or am i absolutely insane"

notes: as someone who also experiences vertigo (low blood pressure lol) this was fun to write haha

masterlist

seungcheol, minghao, hansol

has crazy lightning fast reflexes. you stand up from the sofa to get something before suddenly freezing and stumbling, but before your knees are able to even begin buckling he's leapt upwards, arms around your shoulders, leaning your weight against him. constantly asks if you're okay, rubbing your arm as you blink rapidly and try to refocus yourself after the sudden dizzy spell. you tell him it's just bc you're dehydrated and he tsks at you, telling you that you need to take care of yourself better. is somehow always, always there when you feel a little disoriented after standing up and is always, always so so quick to steady you

junhui, joshua, chan

catches you so fast like you don't even realise you're wobbling bc you blink and suddenly you're pressed against his chest, his arms around you. you blink up at him, he blinks down at you, and then he's grinning and going "i guess you just fell for me, huh?" and you're laughing and slapping his chest. he might be joking around about it, but he is genuinely worried for you. definitely knows that your dizziness was caused by iron deficiency and low blood pressure, so he then insists that you have something to eat. sometimes he chuckles when you stumble adorably but most of the time he's just reaching out concernedly before you hold up your fingers in the 'ok' sign to let him know it's alright

jeonghan, wonwoo, woozi

i can genuinely hear him going "aigoo aigoo jagiya are you okay?" all worried when you stand in the doorway before suddenly bending your head, disoriented and dizzy. you tell him you're okay, and that it happens sometimes, but that isn't good enough for him so he does some research and figures out it can happen due to low blood pressure, iron deficiency or dehydration. gives you a light scolding, telling you to take care of yourself better, then he's buying you iron supplements and making sure you drink enough water and looking after you at every turn bc god forbid his darling has to suffer

hoshi, mingyu, dokyeom, seungkwan

screams. is The Most concerned for you when you stand up to walk over to him when he comes into the living room only for you to suddenly pause on the spot, swaying severely and slowly crouching down onto the floor with a hand on your temple. treats you like you're dying, hands fluttering in panic and is basically screeching and sobbing at the same time. pats your hair and hugs you to his chest once you're finally not too dizzy, telling you that you terrified him and Not to do that again bc he can't lose you okay??? sometimes tho he gets dizzy when he stands up too fast too and he pouts when you just laugh at him when he stumbles into the wall rather than fussing all over him like he did to you

request guidelines

reactions tags:

@jeonginssa @magicaltonaru @weird-bookworm @minhui896 @turningcarat @nakedgrapes @bunnyiix @slytherinshua @haowrld @belladaises @iheartyujin @summery-bat @newgirlygirl @moonlitskiiies @ejspencer14 @mirxzii @wonranghaeee @saythename-chess @yonabutnotyuna @youthoughtiwasfeelingyou @crackedpumpkin @wqnwoos @butiluvu @sunshinekyeom-sang @ocyeanicc @zozojella @thesmellofcoffeeandrain @kthstrawberryshortcake-main @kawennote09 @a-wandering-stay @icyminghao @nananacomeonnnn @valenhui @sweet-like-caramel @hansolaria @gam3bo1z @marisblogg @evasaysstuff

[ivysangel]

in an alternate universe partition was written about dick grayson because it's so him i just KNOWWW he'd do that shit!! with his cocky smile and everything 🤭

NONNIE NONNIE NONNIE !!!!!!! saw this ask half asleep while checking my notifs and had to force myself to get some rest instead of answering it bc i got SO excited even in my delirious half asleep state. obviously i'm listening to it rn while writing this, like NONNIE ??? i'm smiling, literally not joking i'm cheesin like a fucking loser. quick ro lore before we get into the GOOD stuff: massive beyoncé stan, MASSIVE partition stan !!!! massive music lover and pop culture fiend too like this might just be my favorite ask ever. anyway.

who said in an alternate universe bc it's definitely this one. i literally ghostwrote the song with dick grayson in mind err? like i do just wanna be the girl he likes (everybody point and laugh). like the song, aside from being about super hot sex, is about being so into your partner that you'll give everything to them, do anything for them, put all this effort into catching their eye as if you don't already have it. 'take all of me i just wanna be the girl you like' (cassie in euphoria s2 is that u?) IS SOOOOOOOOOOO REAL TO ME !!!!! like i would do anything for him. (side note, why am i listening to partition and hearing jay on the bg vocals? like am i going insane orrr)

(everything under the cut is just smut)

'he popped all my buttons and he ripped my blouse/he monica lewinski'd all on my gown' and 'took forty-five minute to get all dressed up and we ain't even gon' make it to this club' ??? oh exactly. you put all this effort into looking good for him, and unlke CASSIE in eufuckingphoria season 2, it works out for you oh my god it does. 'driver roll up the partition please/i don't need you seein' yoncé on her knees' bc...car sex. but you're not going to a club, no it's a wayne enterprises gala and you don't even get there until hours later because you're almost fully naked in the back seat getting dicked down by dick grayson !!

'handprints and footprints on my glass, handprints and good grips all on my ass' ugh real music literally real fucking music. you're straddling him as he manspreads, cock buried in you, and your fingernails are digging into the black leather seats. his ties been loosened, shirt opened, and there's red smudged on top of blooming hickeys. the glass is foggy, the only semi clear parts being your handprints from when the pleasure got overwhelming. 'now my mascara runnin', red lipstick smudged/oh, he so horny yeah, he want to fuck' like it's dick grayson, he'd fuck you into next week on a normal day so ofc he'd do it when you get all dolled up. ofc everyone's wondering when pretty boy grayson's gonna make an appearence in front of the flashing cameras. 'over there i swear, i saw them cameras flash' rolls down the partition just a smidge, to tell the driver to park somewhere private so you're not caught in an extremely compromising position. not that he really cares, everyone already knows he gets play anyways, it's more about your comfortability. tits out and pussy facing the world, on the cover of tmz and shit bc he got just a bit too cocky. no never that.

'cheauffer eavesdroppin' tryin' not to crash' you and the driver both end up getting a tip that night. he's sorry, he really is. but he just couldn't resist you, not when you were dressed like that. your intention was to have amazing mind blowing sex with dick that night but not in the back of a moving car. 'driver roll up the partition, please/i don't need you seein' yoncé on her knees' bc it was just supposed to be some quick head and now his pants are ruined, your dress is torn, hair messed up on both ends, and the amount of hickeys between the both of you is concerning.

you'd do it all again tho, and he knows you would. shit, he would too !!! and that's so evident in the way he teases you for the next few weeks about it. asking if he should take the dress to the dry cleaners knowing it looks like you'd been in a fight, suggesting you wear the lipstick shade from that night, asking if you need a cheauffer anytime you have to go anywhere, and giving you knowing looks everytime someone asks why you guys showed up at the gala over an hour late. "wardrobe malfunction and car trouble." he says with a smile. it looks normal to whoever you're talking to but you know it holds a level of cockiness that is so completely unfathomable, a level of cockiness he only gets when he fucks you.

(got a little carried away nonnie my b. ughh how i love a good lyrical breakdown, even out of order lol. seriously, this made my day. literally woke up and got straight to it. did not proofread this bc i...just woke up lmao)

[ceruleancattail]

ceruruuuuuu whats ur favorite cater card art?

…. Excellent question.

OK MY HEAD WAS BLOWING STEAM WITH THIS ONE, I GENUINELY LIKE ALL OF HIS CARDS… for varying reasons. It’s not because I’m biased because I like him, uh nuh-

I have all the cards of cater released in the en server but that’s just a coincidence, trust me on this one ok-

BUT MY FAVOURITE HAS TO BE HALLOWEEN CATER. HALLOWEEN CATER.

Ok just look at this. He’s serving✨

I love the unique angle of this card, the way he’s slipping off the hat, and the detail of the veil covering his face. It just goes to show the layer he keeps within him and the people around him.

The way he keeps a distance, despite still being “Cater”. I really like the contrast his eyes have to the warm orange lighting and the dark background, because they seem to almost glow, giving an eerie, ghostly sort of effect to this entire card.

The lighting of the Jack’o lanterns illuminating him with a soft orange, ember sort of glow is just so cool. It feels like a sort of artificial warmth, surrounded by the chill of the night. I love love love it so so so much.

I might be reading too much into this card but I have to tear this apart with my teeth I love it so so so so so much GRRRRRRR

THE GROOVY HAVING A INSANE CONTRAST FROM A WARM SOMBER SORT OF LIGHT TO THIS COLD, STRANGE MIST LIGHTING IS INSANE. JUMPSCARE FR.

I love like deranged he looks now, compared to the picture perfect model from the earlier card. His hair is tousled up, he’s on all fours, stretching out towards the camera, reaching for something for me teehee (delusional) AND THE WAY THE LANTERNS LOOK SO MUCH MORE SINISTER BEHIND HIM????

BRO CLIMBED RIGHT OUT OF THE GRAVE WITH THAT SMUGASS SMIRK RRRRRR!!!!!! Biting this card like a freaking chew toy-

FOR THE LONGEST TIME THIS WAS MY HOMESCREEN CHARACTER OUTFIT SHENEJKSW I FUCKING LOVED IT

ISN’T HE CUTE? ISN’T HE SO NAUSEATINGLY ADORABLE???? THE LITTLE WINK??? THE SMILE AS HE HOLDS UP HIS HANDS IN THE “ROAR” POSE???? GRRRRRRRRRR I’M GONNA THROW UP FROM HOW GOOD HE LOOKS!!!!!! HANDSOME BOY HANDSOME BOY!!!!!

I LOVE THE LACE CORSET THING HE HAS GOING ON FOR THE ENTIRE OUTFIT SO MUCH. THE WHITE ROSES (?) ON HIS SLEEVES AS WELL WKSNWJWKWKWKWKEKEKJE IM GNAWING ON THEM!!!!! THE DETAILS THE TATTERED CAPE THE LITTLE SKULL ON HIS FUNKY LITTLE HAT IS EVERYTHING TO ME. EVERYTHING.

I’m just questioning the crotch… like…. Hm. Why? Why is it laced there? Oh well-

BUT EVERYTHING LOOKS SO GOOD HEARTSABYUL ATE THE MAKEUP WITH THE SMOKY EYELIDS MAKES ME INSANELY FERAL I HAVE NO IDEA WHY PLEASE SAVE ME FROM THIS MAN.

ALSO THE GROOVY VOICELINE SLAPPED ME SO HARD I’M STILL SEEING STARS LIKE ON GOD- YANA KNOWS CATER’S TARGET AUDIENCE FR FR ITS ME I’M THE TARGET AUDIENCE/j

FUCK!!!! THIS WAS SUCH A SHOCK TO MY ASS LIKE I JUMPED AND WAS LIKE OH NO I’M BEING CALLED OUT-

Like you could take this two ways. One is the whole “you took the effort to know the real me (dug me up), so you’re now an important figure in my life, please don’t leave me”

AND THE OTHER IS THE WHOLE YANDERE SCENARIO THING LIKE “You know who I really am, unearthed the real Cater Diamond… don’t think I’ll ever let you leave me.”

Am I delusional? Yes. Am I self aware and properly ashamed of myself? Yes. But this VOICELINE gave me brainrot for weeks so this card makes me so so so ill. Ill for this man!!!!! THIS MAN!!!!!

HIS STORY WAS SO FUCKING SAD IN THIS CARD THO I WAS LIKE NOOO!!!! I HATE YOU BUT LIKE BRO DO YOU NEED A HUG??? DO YOU NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO??? MY MAN????

but yes this is my favourite Cater Card to date. Sorry for the whole ass ramble I got too silly.

[yun-fangz]

I agree it is a bit difficult to find recent jongho fics lately, and as I am in love with this man it makes me sad.

so I am here!!!! I wanna ride him while he praises me for doing so good, I wanna mark up his pretty neck ESPECIALLY THAT GOD DAMNED FRECKLE ON HIS THROAT I LOVE IT SM JONGHO I SWEAR LIKE THIS MAN HAS ME ON MY KNEES FOR HIM ITS INSANE—

HIIIII THANK U FOR SLIDING IN <3 JONGHO NECK. i could go into heat just thinking about it oh my god his neck is so pretty i just want to nip and bite and kiss it SHEHWHWHWBE *rabid noises* anyway though heehehe lemme see what i can do 😁

thoughts under the cut! mdni.

just imagine him laying back on the pillows of your shared bed, eyes heavy as he trails them over your moving frame. you were eager to do so good for him, riding his cock like your life depended on it.

"yeah, work yourself on me just like that pretty girl" he'd say as you rock your hips against him.

"riding me so well, making me feel so good" he continued to praise in between the deep throws of pleasure.

the praise did nothing but spur you on, your lower body moving with a newfound passion as you leaned forward, connecting your lips with his for the nth time that night.

you let your lips mingle together for a while before moving and trailing open-mouthed kisses down his chin and straight to his neck. wasting no time, you immediately began to nip and suck at the sensitive skin.

jongho's hiss of pleasure had you clenching around him, slowing your pace ever so slightly to focus more on biting and marking all along his neck.

you continued to move around his neck, wanting to mark every inch of skin you could see, spending extra time on the area where his mole was placed.

feeling satisfied with your work, you move to sit back up and the view has you going absolutely feral. jongho with his heavy eyes staring right into yours, his neck littered in angry red marks, the skin slowly getting darker by the minute.

you couldn't help but moan out at how good he looked all marked up, identical to how you were at the moment.

it was romantic in the most primal way, marking eachother up to show that you belonged to one another.

he belonged to you just as you belonged to him.

-

a/n: i got a little carried away...... sorry 😀

i also tried to include everything u mentioned while keeping it cohesive so i'm sorry if it seems a little off 😭 i'm still trying to get back into the throws of writing again after taking so much time off! lmk what u think tho LOLOLOL

rbs are appreciated :)

[finnlers]

How silly would it be if you did lee!vox hc (100% Ok if you don't want to tho :])

OH MY GOD HI YES

i love vox so much its not even funny bro wkdjwidj

OKAY LEE VOX HEADCANONS LETS GO

probably around a 8/10 on the scale imo

not a lot of people know hes tklish because hes so good at hiding it (the vees would know for sure, maybe alastor?)

near impossible to get vox to crack or admit to it, unless you already know how to get to him. in which case its all over💀

his laugh is loud, more cackling than anything

if you find a way to tease him while tkling him he starts buffering or gets all staticy

also HATES when you use "the word" when tkling him and it just drives him even more insane

very rare, but if you find a REALLY bad spot and catch him off guard, his voice gets high pitched and he glitches out for a moment(everyone who has achieved this finds it so funny and never lets him live it down)

cusses his ler out and throws insults the whole time, this guy will NOT go down without a fight

squirms and kicks like a BITCH the whole time. youre never able to keep him still for too long unless youre stronger than him

as much as he fights and argues the whole time, he knows he likes it and all the attention and it drives him bananas

he seems like a tklish arm kinda guy, running a finger up or down his arm makes him have to look away and hide a smile or a giggle

also like slightly tklish shoulders because i said so

DEFINITELY super tklish hips. 100% death spot you cant change my mind stfu

sides too i feel like would be a death spot. dont ask why idk either

also HIS TV ANTENNAS??? definitely a melt spot like come on now

sometimes his antennas get bent and stuff and one of the vees have to fix them and vox has to focus on nothing else except staying still and not laughing and he loves hates it so much (never once has he gone the whole time without squirming a little and giggling)

anyways i am in love with this tv man and i hope you guys liked reading my thoughts on the silly PLEASE FEEL FREE TO SEND ME MORE ASKS AND IT DOESNT JUST HABE TO BE HAZBIN IM ALSO OPEN TO HELLUVA BOSS OR SBI OR OTHER THINGS IVE MENTIONED BEFORE IM TRYING TO POST MORE SO PLEASE HELP ME

[jadeittic]

HS + Y/I: 2022 (SERIES)

EXTRA (7) -- completely forgot about this account 💀 i'm back tho! (i think)

PREVIOUS. NEXT.

HARRY STYLES + PLATONIC!EX-1D MEMBER!FEM!READER

WARNINGS: i apologise for the countless changes of face claims! it's so hard finding pics for just one fc :((

yourinstagram

liked by harry_lambert, gemmastyles, and 1,164,019 others

yourinstagram is now a bad time to say that i am so terrified of what’s going to be in store for us in the next few hours? if not then lmk xo

view all 41,578 comments

username YN YOU LITERALLY HAVE LESS THAN 3 HOURS UNTIL THE RED CARPET

yourinstagram I KNOW THATS WHY IM PANICKING RN

harrystyles YN

yourinstagram HARRY

harrystyles PLEASE COME TO THE CAR NOW WE HAVE TO GET DRESSED SOON

username 😭

username THERYE COMING THEYRE COMING

username can we get an outfit peek?

yourinstagram best believe im still bejeweled

username WHAT WHAT WHAT

username oh my god

username youre so active on ig lately are you feeling okay

yourinstagram NO IM NOT OAKY IM IN THE CAR RN

username someone help this poor girl out shes boutta pass out

username ARE YOU TWO MATCHING

yourinstagram idk

username now yn…

username are you going to sneak food in again?

yourinstagram actually yes harry and i teamed up to bring pizza in

username NOW HOW ARE YOU GOING TO DO THAT

ynlnnews

liked by username, and 3,176 others

ynlnnews YN JUST A FEW MINUTES AGO ON TWITTER

view all 102 comments

username WHAT’S GOING ON

username aight what did trevor do again

username WHAT HAPPENED

username I GEN DONT KNOW SHE HASNT UPDATED

username heart rate’s going 📈📈📈

username SOMEONE TELL ME WHATS GOING ON I’M SO CONFUSED

celebnews

liked by username, and 29,916 others

celebnews JUST ANNOUNCED: YN LN to host tonight’s 65th Annual Grammy Awards, instead of Trevor Noah. Reasons as to why have not been announced.

view all 583 comments

username OH MY GOD WHAT

username YN IS HOSTING YN IS HOSTING YN IS HOSTING

username ok fine i’m watching the whole thing

username OH MY FOD SOMEONE GIVE ME THE LINKS THIS IS BOUTTA BE THE BEST NIGHT EVER

username she’s already so nervous for the red carpet and the performance. i hope for the best for themmm

ynrry

liked by username, and 71,826 others

ynrry YN LN AND HARRY STYLES AT THE RED CARPET FOR THE GRAMMY’S !!

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username WHATT EH EHLL

username YOURE KIDDING. YOURe KIDNDNDING

username its giving golden retriever and black cat energy

username SHUT IT DOWN

username IM GOING TO DO THE UNFORGIVABLE

username someone put me in jail before i do something none of yall will believe

username suddenly i passed out

ynrry

liked by 12,109 others

ynrry our fave duo at the red carpet

imissyn

liked by 29,715 others

imissyn I’M GOING FERAL I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE

celebnews

liked by username, and 32,572 others

celebnews “I’m quite nervous right now, can you tell? Dear Trevor Noah, why did you have to get sick?! Seriously, I feel like I’m going to pass out right this second. Adele is literally looking at me, I can’t handle this”. — YN LN at the Grammy’s 2023.

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username HER DRESS

username SHE LOOKS LIKE ARIEL SHES SO WOW

username shes so good at hiding it what

username she’s freaking out about adele like people aren’t thinking the same about her

username NAHHHH CUZ SHES DOING SO GOOD RN YOU CANT EVEN TELL

username DID YOU GUYS SEE HARRY TRYING TO TAKE A PEEK AT HER NOTE CARDS

username he literally got slapped in the head moments after LMAO

username is it a bad thing to say that i’m glad trevor had to cancel last minute

username nu-uh ive been feeling this way since it’s been released hehebsjf

username SHES SO CUTE

celebnews

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celebnews Harry Styles and YN LN performing As It Was at the Grammy’s!

view all 311 comments

username WHAT THE FUCK

username I MISSed iT NO I FEKE ASLEEP

username their performance was INSANE i loved it so much

username someone make a new category for this performance and let them win

username i just know yn tried so hard not to say “sing it out for me” 😭

username ITS IN THEIR FACES HAHAHAHA

username i witnessed this live. LIVE.

username forever proud of them

username shut it down 😐 i am in tears rn

ynrry

liked by username, and 42,228 others

ynrry HS + Y/I is THE album of the year ❤️

view all 301 comments

username THEY LOOK SO HAPPY AWW

username HS + Y/I IS A GRAMMY WINNER WAHAHJDJAJW

username words can’t explain how happy i am rn stfu

username WHEN THE TEMPORARY HOST WALKED OVER TO THE FAN I KNEW

username the way their faces melted when it was announced 😭😭

username they were in DISBELIEF

username lizzo was recording i NEED TO SEE THAT VIDEO

username got robbed at soty but it’s all worth it at the end

ynrrymoments

liked by username, and 31,735 others

ynrrymoments “We would’ve never been here, right at this moment, if it weren’t for all of you. Words can’t explain how thankful we are. You all deserve the world, thank you, so much for this”. — YNRRY at the Grammy’s!

harrystyles

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harrystyles Grammys, February 2023. It’s always us against the world.

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niallhoran ❤️

username SHUT UP

username NO WAY

username IM SICK HE SAID ITS ALWAYS US AGAINST THE WORLD AHAIN

harry_lambert GET IT GET IT

username THE ALBUM OF THE CENTURY

username so deserved, so so deserved

username THE LIL GRAMMY ON HIS SHOE

sza last night was INSANE. congratulations!

username icons ICONS

adele Congrats, you both deserve it!!

username and what if she says “its always us against the world” too what will you do

yourinstagram let’s get drunk tonight

username if she says shes gon drink, shes gon drink

username i can feel the hangover from a mile away

username SO HAPPY FOR YOU TWO OH MY GODDDD

username it’s ynrry’s world, we’re js living in it

yourinstagram

liked by anthonypham, gracieabrams, and 3,176,018 others

yourinstagram first pic was me when i found out what was actually happening

i don’t even know where to start, this year has been so beautiful to us. you’ve all been so beautiful to us. we didn’t know where to start, and you all were there. we’re still in shock of what happened. harry is literally eating the pizza we didn’t manage to eat at the event. we’re just in disbelief, thank you. thank you, so so much. i love u i love u i love i love u

and harry, dear harry styles, you are one big motherfucker. you are the most annoying person i’ve ever met. thanks to you too, for everything that you’ve done to me. you’ve worked so hard for this album, your albums, and i will always be proud of you. you deserve everything that you have, literally. i love you so much, it will always be us against the world.

february ‘23, grammys !!

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username tears are streaming down my face

conangray CONGRATTSSSS

lizzobeeating ❤️

username POST THE VIDEO PLEASEE

username I CALLED IT KNEW SHE WAS GOING TO SAY IT

jonnybernthal Congrats, you big babies ❤️

yourinstagram shut it shane

username is he crying like a baby

yourinstagram indeed he is, he just offered me some pizza

username I MIght KMS STOP THSIS

username if no one will put this in history books, i will do it myself

adele ❤️

harrystyles LEAVE ME ALONE

username HARRY

username LMAOO

username i’ve been staring at this for the past 15 minutes, i can’t get over this

username 2023 is their year i can feel it

yourinstagram via ig story

harrystyles via ig story

[vaguely-concerned]

I’m on a Star Wars books roll so here we go with my — unhinged thanks for asking! — thoughts on Dooku: Jedi Lost, specifically the audio play. Short version: I fucking loved this one! For maximum emotional devastation, pair with Master and Apprentice and Padawan the way my stupid ass did and then be sad about it forever I guess that's what I’m going to have to do.

 Long (LONG oopsie) version:

- So. First of all, let’s get the most important thing out of the way on this here old man yaoi website. We all agree dooku and sifo dyas explored each other’s bodies right. Or at least definitely would have if not for the laws of this order etc., potentially. That’s not just me. Good. Thank you. We can now move on 

- Secondly. Well. Guess I’m just going to be inconsolable about Sifo-Dyas forever now. I miss the days in which he was just a throwaway line in AotC spawned by a random misspelling to me, rather than an eternal raw aching wound in my heart

- poor poor ventress just reading through all the proof that dooku absolutely does have it in him to be a good dad I mean master and just — idk got tired of that and went the force lightning route with her. I love the move of having her dead master hang out with her all that time as well (having her slip up and refer to ‘us’ did something to me, god this is so sad. Is he actually there in spirit or is it just her grief dreaming him up because dooku is awful and cold as a cliff  wall and she needs some kind of attachment figure even if she’ll have to reinvent him herself, rebuild him word for word, gesture by gesture. Pain. sorry about your terrible track record with father figures asajj) 

- Lene: (About Averross): He hasn’t changed. 

Dooku: (In the warmest fondest voice you ever heard) And I hope he never does

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH MYSELF? MUST I SET MYSELF ON FIRE TO ESCAPE THE PAIN???

Another strong showing for Rael in general, btw. He’s so warm and charming as a presence even though he’s also a little chaos gremlin. (He’s quite similar to how Sifo-Dyas was when he was young in some ways, I can definitely start to see what Dooku responds warmly to in terms of character traits.) 

- the fact that good ol’ sheev showed an interest in rael, dooku and anakin… interesting huh! He’s just got a soft spot for the disaster lineage I suppose, maybe there’s an element there of luring yoda’s most direct lineage into the dirt with him without yoda even noticing for the longest time. Also cackling at the idea that he looked at qui-gon ‘too fucking stubborn and insufferable to fall to the dark side out of sheer spite’ jinn and went ‘...not that one tho’ fhdskjfa. And obi-wan is more like ‘that one blorbo all my little guys seem wild about but I just don’t get it guys’ 

IF rael’s refusal to join dooku at the end of ‘master and apprentice’ is the last word (which I am not convinced of ;___; be safe cowboy jedi we never see in mainline canon so far), then he’s the only one who has dodged palpatine’s attentions. Wonderful if true love that for him

ALSO rael is one of the few people we know to be on (or at least to consider himself on despite what palps might think lol) first name basis with palpatine. Hilarious. I concur with dooku never change rael 

- Sifo-Dyas: That’s insane. 

Dooku, deadpan: Yes.

Sifo-Dyas: The worst plan I’ve ever heard.

Dooku, somehow even more deadpan: Most probably. 

Sifo-Dyas: I’m in. 

Crying… weeping and dying………… what if someone could have helped sifo with his unfortunate prophecy propensity and they hadn’t drifted apart. Clone Wars averted methinks if dooku still ended up leaving the order he would have been too busy having tender gay sex with the love of his life (and only person who can call him out on his shit and have him actually listen) to be a war criminal (I am being extremely facetious of course this is very much a ‘time traveler killing baby hitler’ situation where the underlying forces causing this point in history are way too powerful to avert the catastrophe in one move. but at least palps would probably have had to pick someone else to wreck the galaxy through and sifo-dyas would be kissed & held instead of going slowly mad. A net plus some (I, me) would say) 

- I just wanted to applaud both the writing and the voice acting for the characterization of Dooku in this, from his young self trying so hard to be haughty and self-possessed but also being like, y’know, twelve and a dweeb and easy for Sifo-Dyas to pull into trouble, to the dry wit and warmth he shows with Rael and Qui-Gon or his sister later. It took me a little while to get into the voice acting specifically (the actor makes no attempt at going the full Christopher Lee, which in hindsight was probably wise), but now I love it. It gets a bit goofy in places but you know what, I am a long time lover of audio plays, that’s part of the charm 

- “Master, have I done something wrong?”

My heart is clenching… do you think… that master yoda’s deal with leaving his student to try fucking everything to have some kind of relationship with him until he just breaks down in tears of despair… is the kind of thing that maybe started a little bit of a generational trauma cartwheel through the ages. The point that bb!dooku is arrogant isn’t without merit and he strikes out incredibly ungracefully about it (in fact I would be a lot more worried than yoda seems to be that he decides to try to kill a tree about it, ‘I felt like destroying something beautiful’-style)  but I just don’t think a… fourteen year old? A teen anyway, Is going to learn what you think he learns from this. I simply don’t believe that silent treatmenting kids will teach them emotional intelligence I guess especially if they already struggle with that naturally lol 

(It is exactly the same mistake (in my opinion) that Qui-Gon makes with Obi-Wan, too, just leaving the kid completely alone and forcing them to come to you every which way for comfort or guidance instead of meeting them or reaching out to them. Especially once you see that really Dooku’s prime emotion/big core wound right from the beginning is loneliness. And that doesn’t only come from a feeling of superiority (which to be sure is also a big factor), because he has no idea where he comes from until he meets his sister. I don’t think the jedi as a whole were unsalvageable by any stretch of the imagination, but Yoda specifically… you are on such very thin ice with me at this point you little green fuck. You’re very funny and moving in yoda dark rendezvous and that’s all that’s keeping you in my somewhat good graces.)

- Okay, coming back a bit later I think I’ve found the right words to say this. more precisely dooku has two big issues which you can later see haunting all the way down his lineage — loneliness and control. (and not incidentally the intersecting elements of the two haha.) We see from his relationship to sifo-dyas that he’s not incapable of having close mutual relationships with an equal, but that kind of crashed and burned for reasons neither of them could really help and after that it seems quite telling that he has the easiest time with deeper connection in a teacher-student sort of form. I think his affection is unconditional and real, but you can’t get away from the fact that he also has the most control in that relationship structure by default, he gets to dictate what form it takes to a big extent. He doesn’t trust other people — the underlying idea ‘Only I can do this’ that eventually leads him down the Separatist path is there the whole way. It speaks both to a sense of superiority and an utter lack of faith that other people can or will help him. And then that echoes down through the master-padawan line: 

Qui-Gon with his self-righteousness and utter refusal to compromise leaving him isolated among the jedi (only he is right. Yeah the Force told him so. Don’t worry I’ve got a permit *insert parks and rec I can do whatever I want meme here*), Obi-Wan with his anxiety and perfectionism and incredible sense of shame and responsibility that he should be able to carry the whole world on his shoulders alone and beating himself up for failing, all feeding into not knowing what to do with Anakin and his complete lack of control of himself and his desperation to gain and maintain connection and love (which earns him the title of ‘Dooku’s least favorite family member’ fhdsa his immediate disdain for him is so funny and so in character. Repress and go slowly mad like a normal person anakin the way you’re carrying on is just undignified and that is much worse than being evil)… 

- Rael gently telling Dooku to take on another padawan soon… so sweet, so sad, local cowboy jedi looking out for his dad. Also highlights something about Dooku I think is true: that he does much better and seems to have an easier time holding to the light when he’s responsible for someone else. Again, I do feel like Dooku’s core problem is loneliness, but it seems like raising kids is the one point where that relaxes somewhat. Maybe if Sifo-Dyas had stayed in a better mental place and they kept in touch it could have been different.

- Lene Kostana is SUCH a character! Charismatic and deeply fucked up, when it’s revealed how her and Sifo-Dyas’ relationship remains long after his padawan stage is done I felt a little bit sick, to my surprise. Because that could just be kindness on her part, of course, it’s good that he has someone he trusts to look after him when he can’t himself, but also there’s something… queasy about the way it keeps him continually young, in a way. (Notably he still calls her ‘master’ even as an adult, when they’re working together. Not uncommon in Star Wars, of course, but together with everything else going on vibes-wise… hm.) The inherent unreliable narration of this story really worked for me in this regard especially — do we know that young Dooku was entirely wrong when he sensed the dark side in her? She certainly is willing to go to lengths that are… worrying! in her fascination with sith shit, she tempted children into a dangerous place they didn’t understand and couldn’t know the consequences of and she continually puts sifo-dyas in situations that are implied to be a risk to worsening his condition. Run of the mill incredibly irresponsible at best, sincerely sinister at worst. Did she choose Sifo over Dooku because he’s more vulnerable and shapeable? There is an undercurrent of something icky and emotionally incest-y going on with how she relates to Dooku and Sifo-Dyas in general (right down to the ‘NO, no one can know about this’ intensity after the… evil moss cave. I can’t believe I’m this emotional about a book with an evil moss cave). I don’t think she’s a proper sith in any way and I also believe there is real affection there on all sides, but idk something about the whole thing makes me deeply uneasy. Yoda where the fuck are you your son is out there with his irresponsible mom again they’re looking for dirty needles in haystacks and they’re not even wearing any gloves

- dooku telling sifo-dyas he can come back to haunt him if he likes as a joke… well well well I’m sure that doesn’t ring with some dramatic irony at some point down the line lmao

- honestly looking back at master and apprentice after reading jedi lost makes qui-gon's apparent lack of reaction to dooku leaving seem — let's call it highly suspect haha. rael asks him if he's spoken to dooku after and qui-gon is like 'no. why would I. it's literally fine. anyway this topic is done now'. (and rael seems to just go ‘*older brotherly knowing* uh-huh’) meanwhile he's thinking about dooku *all the time* trying to figure out his role as master to obi-wan, thinking about being a padawan himself, the parts of his life he shared with both dooku and rael. The jedi doth protest too much methinks  

ALSO how much of qui-gon thinking the council was too lenient with rael after he had to kill his padawan is about that actual situation, and how much is a ‘our family still likes my older brother more than me even though he Fucked Up so bad and breaks just as many rules as I do’ sort of deal mixed with his own neuroses about how he’s failing obi-wan (to which rael’s situation symbolizes the worst possible outcome, i.e. the kid dies and it’s basically your fault). Many thoughts. 

- moment of silence for jenza of house serenno. Girl your only sin was being surrounded by asshole male family members and I’m so sorry I think you did all you could with what you had to work with here.

Not… entirely sure how dooku’s claim to the title supersedes hers — is he a year older than her? (she’s eleven when they first meet, he might be twelve or older at that point I don’t remember haha) Does she just give up her place in the inheritance order? Are primogeniture and male heir preference factors in Serenno inheritance law? Not the most important thing honestly it works anyway thematically but could have been clarified quickly!

- interesting to see that the council’s restrictive policy against engaging with prophecies had a surprisingly big impact on how things went down. Kostana has a lot of responsibility in Sifo’s fate for insisting he keep it secret, but there is genuine fear for what might become of him if the rest of the order finds out he’s got 24/7 futurevision hovering over him threateningly… listen it’s not like the poor guy can help getting the future constantly pumped into his brain at nightmare resolutions, I think maybe if there had been more willingness to at least engage curiously with the concept of prophecy and how it works, even if you don’t put your faith in the particulars of what the prophecies say, this wouldn’t have had to be such a shitty isolated secretive life for him. hearing him slowly fall apart over the years considering how bright and lovely he started out... oof is all I can say 

- when dooku was a good jedi he was such a good jedi!!! The scene where they’re saving the kids from the collapsing hospital, every time he teaches his students anything…the impulse of someone has to do something about this! that made him so good at saving lives turning dark with the tarnish of frustration and rage over the years… nooooooooo problematic grandpa why did it have to be like this :(

- …do you think infant jedi can sense what’s going on around them in the Force. Because it makes a very sad kind of sense if dooku on some level remembers bodily or in the Force that he was not only abandoned but rejected in disgust as one of the first things he discovered in the world. Oh boy. With all the ways attachment relationships can go wonky in the first few years in real life I don’t even want to consider how much more wrong it can go when the baby is fucking psychic lol

- vaguely related: the way dooku seems to find the very idea of being truly reliant on anyone, emotionally or otherwise, personally offensive, terrifying and humiliating lol. Yoda saves him from being crushed by rubble and he is outraged because that means he can’t save himself (and his newfound sister) without anyone’s help like he thought for one glorious moment he could. The fantasy of perfect emotional self-sufficiency, doing away with all the messiness and risk of interpersonal relationships and cutting off the possibility of really being abandoned again. It’ll get ya every time. This is also a thing you see reflected in his lineage — they’re all quite inward-turning that way until you get to anakin, to different extents and with varying presentations but it is there I think. Qui-Gon turns to the Force, Obi-Wan to perfectionism and shame and rumination, Rael to the bottle and depression and hedonistic apathy, but they all struggle hugely with letting anyone in to help them. Dooku’s line are all much more comfortable being the helpers rather than the helpees, as it were.  

- “Thank you for everything, Lene. Tell Rael and Qui-Gon — tell them… tell them the Force will be with them, always”

Emotional terrorism against me specifically and personally. You asshole you just excused yourself from the non-attachment rules there’s literally nothing in the world except you to stop you from reaching out and telling your children you love them yOURSELF why are you like this

- the recurring theme of dooku seeing something beautiful (the tree in the temple, the tirra’taka as a child and an adult) and ending up lashing out to destroy it… but the tree was old and mighty and he was young and new and couldn’t truly harm it, so he was saved from his own impulsivity. And then when he sees the tirra’taka as an adult he loves it immediately. And in the end he still mangles and destroys it. He didn’t mean to, but he did. He woke it up and hurt it just by existing as a child and then he had to kill it as a mercy because he was too powerful at that point for anything to buffer his mistakes. The parallel with the bird he loved that he also couldn’t protect. He starts out with an aching loneliness somewhere at the core of him through no real fault of his own but by the end it is entirely his own fault that it’s worse, because he starts wrecking everything he loves in an almost absent-minded but definitely intentional way, like it’s a nightmare he’s listening to through the door as it happens in the next room over. He really IS the ‘I just felt like destroying something beautiful’ central of the jedi.

at the end qui-gon is dead and through dooku’s own influence, however indirectly. Rael has had to turn away from him. Sifo-Dyas is dead on Dooku’s own orders and so is his sister, he might as well have done it with his own hands. (though I think it’s very interesting that in each case he didn’t do it with his own hands, he consistently uses a middleman.) He lives within the coldness of his sterile empty castle and horrifically mistreats the one person he might have found something like connection with the way he did with his students before (Ventress), deliberately trapping her in a similar state of utter desolate isolation and telling her, essentially, ‘We’re like this as people and nothing can be done to change it. We can’t escape, we’re already doomed, stop trying, it’s too late. You are just like me (and if you aren't already I'll make you like me)’. And that’s the closest thing he gets to love anymore. When he accused Ky of using her ‘as a salve for his own loneliness’ and you’re like well well well mr projection man how’s that working out for you. He is completely, shatteringly alone and he is so entirely as a consequence of his own actions and he's too far gone to understand or care. I’m howling you useless fucking FOOL dooku  

- dooku 🤝 john gaius

“Hm. I have observed that there are in fact many flaws in our society and the government is deeply corrupt. So if I kill a few billion people here and there in order to fix it, is that not basically okay when you really think about it” 

Dooku making salient points about the political and ethical failures of the Republic and then, just when you think he’s onto something, he goes and makes The wildest fucking decisions about what to do about it. Sure. dark magic and genocide are probably the only ways out of this you’re so right bro. If we make enough minuses to add together surely we’ll end up in plus sooner or later

- *head in my hands once more* I can’t believe I am genuinely emotionally invested in someone called Count Dooku with the looks of a knockoff dracula and ultimate moral character to match right now this is terrible. hey. hey dooks. what you have to go and fuck everything up so bad for huh I’m so incredibly sad now

there is something to be said about how getting to see glimpses of what dooku looked like in the light makes it so much more heartwrenching that he never came back. he could have, a thousand times. and every time he chose not to.

[qu0rky]

New insanity in the fandom

When i was talking about media literacy, i was especially referring to the Hazbin Hotel fans cause how did this girl on tiktok go on to say that Stolas is an awful character and went on to misunderstand the ENTIRE point… Get your hands off of Helluva Boss i am begging you go back to praising your fave one-dimensional Hazbin character but for the love of god leave Stolas out of your shitty ass opinions.

“This fandom can never take opinions” not when you’re blatantly wrong about shit and blaming it on other people for having the comprehension skills of a pebble😭

Stolas isn’t meant to be this morally perfect character, nobody on the show is, it’s literally set in HELL.

But he is a damn good father for one, he clearly loves his daughter unconditionally and tried to give her the best possible life despite all the abuse that he’s had to endure. And he can still learn new things as they both grow, that’s not crazy. But he is almost always apologetic when he understands that what he did was wrong. He was also neglected as a child and decided to break that pattern.

Now, onto Stolitz, a whole other can of worms. You’re telling me, a VOX STAN (he’s my favorite HH character so don’t start) is claiming that Stolas is TOXIC??? I’m sorry, did we watch the same shows? In what universe is Vox a good person, and why do you hold them to different standards??

Regardless of that, Blitz’s view of Stolas is entirely warped due to his insecurities and self-loathing, he does not have the same insight that we, as viewers, have about Stolas’ true feelings and intentions. And if you had an ounce of brain you would know why Stolas acted the way he did in the beginning. I’ll delve into Stolitz further in a different post if some people still don’t understand the dynamic, but for now i’ll leave it at that, there’s plenty of people on this site that have already explained it better than i ever could.

If you don’t ship Stolitz and don’t particularly like Stolas that’s fine, it is an opinion, it’s totally different to outright lie about the character and their dynamic tho, it just makes you look dumb.

Also they said some shit about Stolas’ songs, and it just feels a bit iffy cause it has nothing to do with the character?? Bryan did a fantastic job idc what you think of Stolas leave the man out of this.

[blueskittlesart]

have u ever thought about like. post-aoc type scenarios w zelda meeting links family

GOD. not only have i thought about it i have extensive headcanons that i would turn into a fic if i could write. i am putting it under a readmore tho bc im not totally insane

in my mind, post-aoc-calamity zelda stays at the castle and link goes home with a generous pension to support his family on. Zelda lasts about 2 months in the castle without him before she breaks and rides out towards hateno one night completely alone, telling one singular person (impa) where she is going. link obviously does not know that she is coming so when hes just like. chilling at home and someone tells him that a stranger just rode into town on a horse in ROYAL REGALIA he assumes hes being fucking drafted again. zelda literally did not consider this until he is standing in front of her in mild shock bc he was lowkey convinced he was going to have to fight another monster. to her credit she apologizes profusely.

she ends up staying at the hateno tech lab, which has been basically abandoned since ganon was defeated. it makes a good excuse when her father eventually realizes she basically ran away. purah backs her up and claims that the lab needs someone to look after it, so zelda manages to avoid being immediately escorted home to face her father's wrath.

link's mom and dad are honestly. less than pleased at the fact that zelda is in hateno at first. They've never met her before, and as far as they're concerned she is a representation of the living nightmare that their son has finally gotten AWAY from. it looks to them like his trauma is chasing him down. they're cordial with her, obviously, but it takes them a little while to fully understand what zelda means to link, especially when link is also not super in touch with those feelings and cant really explain. It does help that link looks SO HAPPY whenever zelda is around. he isn't subtle. everyone picks up on it quickly. within a week aryll is calling zelda her big sister and has already asked link several times when he's gonna marry her.

[student-in-nightraven]

Oh ooo ok

So imagine Yuu/the reader has/had a twin back in their world that they havent talked about but miss dearly and they find comfort in being around the tweels

Eventually they confide this in Floyd and Jade and the two basically go "well I guess we have to adopt you now."

God I am a sucker for found family. Yk how it is.

So sorry for the late reply❗I was going through a huge burnout but not to fret I'm back! (Atleast I hope so) thank you for the request dear annon!!

Platonic

A fish of family

Having been in a whole other universe wasn't all just adventure and wonder, it also tugged you away from your family and friends such as being your twin, growing up with a twin always was exciting and never lonely, always having a friend close by but that all faded when you got transported to another universe, worse part was it being a school and you having to worry about schoolwork rather than how to get back to your world and to your family.

"____ come on were gonna be late and it's gonna be off with our heads so hurry up" ace called out standing next to deuce impatiently awaiting

"give me a minute to put the shoes on" you replied annoyed as you stood up ready to go.

Sure being in NRC wasn't boring, and luckily it helped to take your mind off of your twin so you would've have to grieve all the time. during your stay in NRC you came across the Tweels, 2 inhumanly tall clinically insane twins. Of course they gave you the goosebumps too but when they reminded you of you and your twin you couldn't help but let the worries fall away and form a small smile at the memories that flooded within you, you never told them, of course, there wasn't exactly a reason to but you did grow closer to them as they were too intrigued by your "not triggered by them" demeanour.

Floyd was drying glass clean with a cloth standing behind the counter with Jade, as he looked up he spotted you a smile formed on his face

"ahh look Jade it's shrimpyy" "oh? Indeed they are, good eye floyd", the taller eel put the glass down not paying attention to jade's comment started skipping towards your table.

You had decided to go to the mostro lounge to try and keep your mind off of your twin thinking being in that beautiful place would keep your worries away. As you sat down and absorbed the menu you saw a dish that looked like the one you and your twin used to enjoy, you grimaced and your eyebrows knitted at that "ughh great I thought I'd get away from the thoughts but it's just coming to me"

Flipping to the next page trying not to think about it, tho that failed as all you could do was think about the fun times you spent with your twin, tears started to form in your eyes as you got mad that you couldn't keep them in, soon you heard heavy footsteps approaching you to which you panicked trying to wipe the tears from your face as fast as possible

"Little shrimpp~ your backk how are you doing?" He asked as you tilted your head up to him forcing a smile, he's own smile faded at that as his eyes widened"Shrimpy are you crying?" "Huh? No I'm not I just have allergies you know how it is, I've been sneezing the whole day" you replied as to which he frowned "yeah you can trick your dumb friends with that but I can tell lies, i work with azul shrimp" you groaned and put your head on your arms,soon the other twin approached "What's going on here? Did you make the prefect cry Floyd?" Jade raised a brow to Floyd "Ehh? no! I just walked up to them and noticed they were cryin about something" he replied "a penny for your thoughts prefect?" "It's nothing just family stuff" "you have a kid?-" "NO OF COURSE NOT" you yelled at Floyd at that assumption, "*sigh* sorry for the outburst I'm just overwhelmed is all, really you should go back to your duties so that Azul won't rip his hair out again" you said chuckling a bit at the end, "Oh please we have plenty of time to spare, things do get quite boring and who's Azul if he doesn't lose it once in a while?" Jade said looking at his brother who smiled and nodded at you, you chuckled and jade and Floyd sat Infront of you "Now, do tell us what's troubling you prefect"

You told them about your twin and how it's been tough to keep remembering about the memories, to your surprise jade and Floyd listened and actually looked like they felt bad? Jade took your hand "I had no idea you had a twin, and I'm terribly sorry about your situation I can't imagine what it's like to be far from your twin"

"Yeah! I mean I get bored and ticked off when me and jade don't have classes with eachother more than twice so being far from your twin for more than thatm.m sheesh" he shivered and hugged your side

"thanks for understanding, really, I needed to get this out" you smiled, jade and Floyd shared a look then smiled "I see well then, me and Floyd have to go now, we'll see you soon, till tomorrow prefect" jade said as he got up waiting for Floyd, "see ya shrimpp" Floyd said as he waved he's hand.

You sat there deciding to order something and leave soon so you could sleep early.

The next day you were going to chemistry class but soon stopped when 2 tall eels stood in your way "oh hi guys" you looked up "hellp prefect/ahoy shrimp" "we got you something" jade said as he holded his hand out to Floyd, Floyd put a box in his palm and jade turned to you giving the box to you. "What's this?" You asked "open it and you'll see" jade answered smiling

You raised a brow and opened the box, in the box you saw one earring, similar to the one Floyd and jade wore. "Oh wow this is very generous of you but, why?" "You're part of the family now shrimp" Floyd said grinning "indeed,the earrings we wear symbolises family, and from now on you're part of it jade replied smiling at you with closed eyes. You started sniffing and you brought an arm up to hold the tears in

"shrimp? Why're you crying?" "Prefect, is everything alright" they asked worried

"actually it's better than okay, thank you both so much, this means a lot for me, thank you" you said smiling at them Floyd laughed out of happiness and squeezed you as jade hugged you as well "Hehe we have a triplet now Jade" "seems that we do Floyd"

The end

This was so adorable I can't🤧 literally thank you for this request it was amazing, have a good week dear annon 🫶