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yunhoszn · 7 months

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motive

PAIRING choi san x f!reader

WORD COUNT 3.37k

GENRES kinda fluff ig﹒smut

WARNINGS 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, mature language, friends to lovers, reader is lowkey down horrendous, but san is too i guess, um tbh this is just porn with minimal plot… 😭, reader gets jealous, Tension, i can’t think of anything else for the tame aspect so, making out, exhibitionism, soft dom!san, marking-ish, scratching, vaginal fingering, multiple orgasms, they’re like kinda clumsy in the way that everything is a fucking joke to them, actually a lot of kissing, san’s a sweet talker, public sex, shower sex, unprotected sex (pls be safe), creampie, cutesy ending

SUMMARY it’s annoying that your gym partner constantly gets flirted with right in front of you, especially when you have a crush on said gym partner. good thing your gym partner has a crush on you, too.

MORE HELLO oh my god okay, this is my first written fic on this blog and im actually so nervous posting it… but fuck it! we ball! this wasn’t originally the first fic i was gonna post but,,, the other one is still marinating in the drafts so you get mr. choi san instead <3 ALSO THANK U SM FOR 100 FOLLOWERS HELLO. my blog is 2 weeks old that’s insanity 🤕 big thank u to the loml @kimsohn for betaing for me ilysm maya <<3 pls reblog if u enjoyed and pls moot me :( i need more atiny friends 💔

“Wow, San, you’re so strong,”

You scoff to yourself as you watch the trio of girls surround him, dainty fingers touching anywhere they can. He laughs sheepishly, shifting his seat on the weight bench. You think it’s funny, really, the fact that he was eating up their attention and acting like he was so shy about it. He was supposed to be your gym partner.

With a small grunt, you take the dumbbells in front of you and focus on your form in the mirror. You make attempt after attempt to ignore the commotion behind you, but ultimately fail. How could you not stare with all the obnoxious giggling? Even as you lunge, eyes zeroed in on the perfect 90° angle your legs make, you can still make out the group’s reflection in the mirror.

Every drag of a manicured nail along his bicep, each twirl of hair, it was pissing you off. You had no real right to be mad, though. It’s not like San was your boyfriend or anything. You were just friends, and he’d volunteered to help you out when you mentioned struggling at the gym. What started as him spotting you when needed and giving tips to help improve your workouts, turned into waiting around for him to stop flirting with the girls who flocked over to him.

Maybe you were being a bit dramatic. It’s not like this happened every time you came to the gym, but it was enough to be irritating. There was also a very high probability that it ticked you off so much because you had a crush on San yourself. Your infatuation was less superficial, however. Yes, he was an attractive man, that was one fact that couldn’t be refuted, but there was more to him than his big muscles and handsome face.

You’d known San since you met in your first year Anthropology course. This was way before he started hitting the gym and building his physique. He used to be this thin, pretty boy. Girls thought he was cute, but that was about it. No one was jumping at the chance to ask him out, or giggling at his every word. No one except for you.

He was not only cute, but he was sweet and funny and just about every good quality you could think of. You didn’t want to be one of those people who thought you were special because you knew him before his insane bodily transformation, though in a way you were. San was your good friend above anything else, and you had a fear instilled in you that that’s all he would ever be. The idea made your stomach churn.

”Do you think you could bench me?”

A sigh pushes past your lips when you see one of the girls get a little closer to him. You’re over working out at this point, ready to just call it a day and go home. What were you doing here if your partner was going to ignore you the entire time? You set the dumbbells back on their respective rack, grabbing your phone and water bottle while simultaneously turning up the volume on your headphones to drown out everything around you.

You don’t bother telling San that you’re leaving, making your way into the changing rooms to grab the rest of your things from your locker. The frown etched onto your face as you do so serves as a reminder that he would never see you in that way. Perhaps you were perpetually stuck as the girl space friend. With a giant emphasis on the space.

There’s a gentle grasp around your wrist, making you jump in surprise. You turn around with wide eyes, pushing your headphones off your ears. San stares back at you with an unreadable expression, lips slightly pursed.

”God, San, you almost gave me a heart attack,” you hold a hand to your chest, heaving up and down a little.

”I tried calling your name, but you didn’t hear me,” he shrugs, releasing your arm and shoving his hands into the pockets of his athletic shorts. “Why didn’t you tell me you were ready to leave?”

”You looked busy.” Really, you wanted to hide the jealousy and bitterness from your tone, but ultimately failed, even throwing in an unintentional scrunch of your nose. It feels like your heart dropped to your stomach, resembling a prey caught by its predator when you realize the connotation behind your words.

San smiles at you, a smug grin that’s so out of character for him, you’re a little nervous now. He takes a step forward and you back up until you reach the lockers, one of his hands coming up to rest on the surface near your head. A small chuckle breaches the sound barrier, his eyes drinking in your figure like he might never get the opportunity to do it again. “Y/N… are you jealous?”

Instinctively, you shake your head. What he doesn’t know can’t kill him. But then he’s raising an eyebrow in question and you feel like a puppy with its tail between its legs. You blink up at him, nails digging into your palms to keep your composure. “Should I be?”

His tongue darts out to wet his lips, that same cocky smirk on his features. He knows what he’s doing, you think to yourself. He has you cornered and he’s using it to his advantage. The hand that isn’t holding his weight comes up to your face, fingers gliding along your jaw with a feather light touch. “No, I don’t think so. The only girl who’s attention I really care about is right where I want her.”

Your breathing stutters, halting in your throat and momentarily winding you. Choi San might very well be the death of you. Especially with that darkened look in his eyes, the chocolate brown color now resembling the night sky. His thumb swipes across your lower lip, letting it resume its original place. “What do— what do you mean by that?”

He was giving you a bone, a hint that he could potentially feel the same as you, but you wanted to hear him say it. You wanted the words to leave his mouth and verbally confirm that for you. Want wasn’t even good enough. You needed it.

“There’s no way you don’t know,” San says, voice hushed. “No way that you don’t know how badly I’ve wanted you since first year.”

Something similar to a choked groan departs from you, your pulse racing in your ears, thumping beneath your chest. You’re too stunned to move, frozen in your spot in case this is all some fucked up dream. It doesn’t even occur to you that someone could walk in, doesn’t even cross your mind that you’re in too public of a setting for this conversation or where it could go.

“I don’t— I didn’t…” Your eyes attempt to stay on his, but keep flickering down to his mouth.

“It was so hard for me to play nice guy for so long,” he whispers, a pout adorning his expression. “And today? I couldn’t even stare at you shamelessly because of those damn girls. It’s so fucking annoying when they bother me while I’m trying to flirt with you. But since I’m Nice Guy San, I can’t be rude.”

“You flirt with me?” You snort, your shell shock wearing off and a goofy smile worming its way onto your face. He laughs along with you, tilting away to hide the warmth blooming on his cheeks. The tension is still present, but it’s a lot more bearable.

”I guess I’m not very good at it if you couldn’t even tell,” he glances down at his feet, the confident San from before long gone and now replaced by a bashful version. “Am I going crazy, or is this gonna go somewhere? I don’t want to misread anything and ruin what we already have. The ball is entirely in your court.”

It’s your turn to be shy, shrinking in on yourself slightly. Acknowledging that you had feelings for San was a separate can of worms. There was a big difference between him confessing to you and vice versa. You know if given the stage, you’d just start blabbering on and on about how you feel for him, and that would just be embarrassing for both of you. So instead you say, “Can I show you?”

When he nods, your fingers raise to his jaw, cupping it gently as you lean up. Your lips brush his softly, barely grazing them. His eyes flutter shut, a shiver running down his spine simply from your kiss. A pleasant buzz courses through your veins from your lips to the tips of your fingers. You’ve wanted this forever, you don’t think you could ever go back.

You pull back and San fists the fabric of your t-shirt on your waist, eyes still closed as he chases your mouth. “Fuck, Y/N, can I kiss you again?”

“Please,” you whine, enveloping your lips with his as soon as you get the green light. This time is desperate, noses bumping each other. You’re going lightheaded and dizzy, already intoxicated by him. Your back presses into the lockers behind you, arching into his chest for more.

He deepens the kiss and it’s almost too much. You’re overwhelmed by the emotions taking control of you, not at all prepared for what would come with actually being with San. It had always been a distant fantasy, something that felt so completely out of reach that you didn’t dare let yourself indulge in the notion for too long. The way his lips lock with yours, fluidly and synchronously like missing pieces of a puzzle, you think you can die happily.

“As hot as it would be to fuck you right here, I’d rather not get kicked out of this gym,” he chuckles breathlessly. “And since we’re both sweaty from working out, I think we could use a shower. Don’t you?”

You leave a kiss on the corner of his mouth, nodding frantically at his suggestion. Though you imagined your first time with San being in a bed, slow and sensual, you’d be so stupid to complain about this. Fucking in one of the gym showers, where anyone could hear you? Go big or go home.

He scopes the area to ensure the coast is clear before hauling you into one of the stalls, dragging the curtain shut. You kiss roughly between removing articles of clothing, San turning on the water while his lips make quick work of your neck. Goosebumps form on your skin when the cool water hits it, your fingers combing through his wet hair as he sucks harsh marks into your collarbone and sternum.

“You’re so gorgeous, babe,” he mutters into your skin, nipping lightly at the tops of your tits. One of his hands travels south, sliding through your folds with ease. He rubs tight circles into your clit, prodding at your entrance with his ring finger. “I need you to cum for me once before I fuck you for real, okay?”

“Mhm,” you moan quietly, hiking one of your legs around his waist. His finger pushes inside you to the knuckle and then curls. Your eyes all but roll to the back of your head, back arching off of the tiled wall. “Feels so good, San…”

“Yeah?” He smiles against your skin, trailing pecks up your neck and along your jawline. You whimper in his ear, cunt sucking in his finger greedily. He adds a second, the middle one, and applies pressure to your clit with the heel of his palm. The sight of you falling apart by his hand alone is sending blood rushing to his brain.

Your body feels hot to the touch, risking a downwards glance at where his fingers disappear into your pussy. It forces another whine out of you, your head tossing back. You tug at the strands of hair that stick to the nape of his neck, steeling yourself the only way you can in this position. San just seemed to know you, to know exactly what you needed without you having to tell him. Either he was really good at guessing, or everything he did seemed to be perfect, because you’ve never climbed to the summit this quickly before.

There’s a knot in the pit of your stomach that weaves itself tighter and tighter with each curl of his digits and each swirl of his thumb on your clit. You think you could cry from how attentive he was, from how determined he was to provide you pleasure. Your cunt contracts around his fingers, and he can sense the precipice of your orgasm, speeding up his pace.

You squirm around in his hold, allowing him to spread apart your thighs so he can brush the pads of the digits buried inside of you up against that spongy sweet spot. You’re trembling now, nearing the edge of that familiar cliff. “San, baby, I’m— god— I’m so close,”

“Let go for me, my love.” He coos into the corner of your mouth, hushing your moans. He doesn’t slow his assault, inching you further and further towards your release like it was his own personal mission. That knot in your belly begins to unravel until it slips through your grasp completely, your orgasm rocking into you like a tidal wave.

San aids you as you ride out your high, already spent before he’s even gotten the chance to be inside of you. He kisses you tenderly, pulling out his fingers with caution since you were still so sensitive. Your nails claw down his front, scratching his abdomen with a purpose. He shudders beneath you, lips curling up into another soft smile.

“What?” You ask with a giggle, mirroring his expression when he wipes water from your face.

“Nothing,” he shakes his head, grin unwavering. “You just look really pretty like this.”

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were trying to get into my pants, Choi San.” You tease, yanking him down for a saccharine kiss. He reciprocates without hesitation, drawing his palm on your thigh so he can wrap it around his waist again.

“Me? Never…” He laughs along your mouth. “Is it working, though?”

You roll your eyes playfully, reconnecting your lips. “Are you gonna fuck me for real now?”

“What kinda question is that?” He glides the tip of his cock between your folds, shutting you up instantaneously. He’s heavy where he sits, slipping the shaft through your lower lips. “I’m gonna fuck you so good, you forget where you are, baby.”

Before you can even let out another sound of appreciation, he’s stretching you out, cock thrusting up into your pussy without warning. You jump up a bit to hook your other leg around his hips so he’s supporting your whole weight. The new angle makes it easier for him to delve deeper in your cunt, his dick accessing places you’d never knew existed.

After he’s sure you’ve adjusted to his length, he starts to move, pistoning in and out of you much more forcefully than he did with his fingers. Your lips part for a voluminous moan, but then you hear a group of loud girls entering the shower area and San slaps a hand over your mouth. He makes no effort to stop, fucking into you without a single care for the people on the other side of the shower curtain.

“Did any of you see where San went? He disappeared so fast.”

You recognize the voice as belonging to one of the girls who was openly flirting with San while you were working out. Not even needing to see her, you can picture the exaggerated pout on her face based on her tone alone.

“He probably followed after that stupid bitch he’s always with.”

Your half lidded eyes meet San’s but he still pays no mind to them, digging his nails into your plush thighs. He pulls all the way out, just to slam his cock all the way back in. His pace leisures, but his power doesn’t, abusing your cunt with every snap of his hips.

“I think I’m gonna ask him out next time I see him. I have to stake my claim before someone else does.”

He holds back a laugh, hiding his face in the crook of your neck. You drown out their conversation after that, too focused on the feeling of his cock dragging against your walls so deliciously to even worry about those idiot girls. Little did they know he was closer than they thought…

Thankfully, they leave not much longer after that, and he uncovers your mouth. You gasp for air, panting feverishly when he picks up his speed again. Your bottom lip quivers with a whine, too fucked out to conjugate words that make sense.

“You’re taking me so well, baby. Taking me like a fucking princess,” San praises. He groans, water droplets slipping along the valleys of his sculpted chest and abdomen. It drips with every roll of his hips and every thrust of his cock into your pussy. This was what he had been building up to, what he’d been dreaming of for years. “Who’s fucking you like this?”

“Mmm,” you moan, supping him in deeper, further, as cavernous as humanly possible. “You, San— fuck— y-you are.”

You arch your back, sneaking a hand in the middle of the two of you and pressing the pads of your fingers harshly on your clit when you do so. San holds you closer to him so your pelvic bones nearly clash each time he punches into you. The change in depth that he fucks you has your cunt squelching, any semblance of coherent thought escaping you.

Your vision goes blank, stars decorating the backs of your eyelids as your second orgasm blindsides you. Not a sound leaves you after it knocks into you, cumming with so much force you think you might pass out in San’s arms. When you’ve finished, you let out a guttural groan, walls fluttering around his cock.

“Gonna cum— shit— where do—“ you interrupt him with a whimper.

“Cum inside of me,” your begging tone has him spilling into you practically on command. He fills you up perfectly, a moan from deep within him reaching your ears. You both stay like that for a moment, skin sticking to the other’s due to the thin sheen of sweat coupled with the steam of the shower coating your bodies.

You can feel the rise and fall of his chest when he breathes, one of your hands coming up to caress his back gently. He pulls out with a wince, palms resting on either side of you as he recuperates. He breathes through his nostrils, forehead glued to your shoulder. His hands rub up and down your sides soothingly.

“It’s safe to assume you’re gonna turn that girl down when she asks you out, right?” You ask suddenly, attempting to diffuse whatever’s in the air between you now. San laughs into your shoulder.

“Y/N, I’m turning down any girl who asks me out from now on,” he stands upright, biting his lip before kissing you gently. “I don’t think my girlfriend would appreciate that very much.”

You raise an eyebrow at him. “Girlfriend?”

“Am I being too overzealous?” His nose scrunches up.

“You’re being the right amount of zealous, I think,” you brush away a strand of wet hair that falls into his eyes. “But I think your ‘girlfriend’ would like it if you actually asked her to be your girlfriend.”

Choi San is the prettiest man you’ve ever set your sights on, but somehow, he looks even prettier smiling down at you after having sex with you in a gym shower. It’s a feat that should be considered illegal, and you should receive restitution for the distress it’s caused on your heart.

“Will you be my girlfriend, Y/N?”

And well, maybe you’d deal with that later. It was kind of difficult to ignore that sparkle in his eyes, especially when it was directed at you. You nod without a second thought.

“I would love nothing more.”

#ateez #ateez x reader #ateez smut #ateez san #ateez choi san #choi san #choi san x reader #choi san smut #san x reader #san smut #yunhoszn

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midnightmah07 · 9 days

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Hello Mah! ♡

I'm actually so curious from your post on Trey that I just wanted to ask... if you were going to design Trey as a character, how would you make him look? ♡ (or, how would you want him to look?)

Thank you! ♡

OH MY GOODNESS I LOVE THIS QUESTIONNNNNN UHMMM I THINK—

Ok joking aside😭 I ACTUALLY MADE A DESIGN FOR MY VERSION OF TREY... SIMPLY BC THE IDEA OF REDESIGNING HIM WAS SOOOOO FUN

I will ramble a bit on my desicions, my inspirations and the personality traits that I changed/added since I also wanted to do something else with Trey's personality, sorry Sheepie I just think he's a tiiiiiiny bit boring to my taste💔

However!!! Before I go on and on I just want to say, this is NOT me hating on Trey by any means, while he might not be a character I'm excited about, I do understand that there are people (like our lovely Sheep here💙) who really love him and care for him just the way he is, and I'm happy for that!! I just did this because i thought it would be fun :)

Appearance!! (Ryu from Kimi ni Todoke, Kim Namjoon and Kurosawa from Choking on Love)

I wanted to change Trey's hair DESPERATELY because I personally don't like Trey's haircut, I don't think it looks very flattering on him💔 So! I gave him a buzz cut!! While I'm always saying I love how men look with longer hair, I absolutely adore buzz cuts, so I thought an easy fix would be giving him a haircut that I think would be flattering to him, taking inspiration from all of these but specifically Kurosawa, I even gave Trey an earring like Kurosawa lol

I like thinking my Trey is more muscular than canon Trey, maybe even a bit taller? He's just a bit more buff generally speaking, I think that adds a fun touch✨

I also wanted to make his face shape similar to Namjoon, I made it a bit rounder and I also gave him dimples, which I think would be such a cute little detail everytime he smiled (which isn't a lot so... Hehe) :]

His clothes didn't change much, but I took inspiration from how Ryu wears his uniform, so I got rid of Trey's tie, but kept the rest the same! Also, I changed the placement of the clover symbol because I didn't like it before, I kinda still don't but? I think it looks better on the corner of the forehead

Personality!!

Trey's personality is lovely yes but a bit bland to me... So I took a lot of inspiration from Kurosawa, Ryu and even Mori from Ouran and decided to make him more reserved, quiet even. My version of Trey is a guy who looks intimidating on the outside, he doesn't smile all that often and he usually doesn't speak much, but he's actually a really caring guy, and helped Yuu and the others bake that tart with no problem really, as he wanted peace in Heartslabyul to be back again

I like thinking that my version of Trey wouldn't be like that when he was a kid, but he became more quiet after what happened with Mrs. Roseheats. So, my Trey would've felt so guilty for the humiliation his parents and Riddle had gone through, that he started believing it wasn't worth speaking out anymore, so he simply stopped speaking much ever since that day, he became super obedient too, and that's also part of the reason why he let Riddle continue with his awful behavior

My version of Trey would still be great a baking, and it would be a surprise factor for a lot of people, since he doesn't look like the type of guy who'd bake, (in my head Deuce even confused him for a delinquent, which couldn't be farther from what my Trey actually is lol) I think it'd be a fun detail to add... Also, I'm so sorry, but I'm taking away the Trey liking tooth brushing as a hobby... LIKE IM SORRY WDYM. THAT IS NOT A HOBBY DUDE. WHAT😭😭😭 My Trey is still interested in this very niche thing, maybe he even wants to be a dentist instead of continuing on with the bakery, but it's nowhere near the same level... His hobby could simply be baking itself

Anyways!! I think that's it?? I'm sorry this is WAYYYY TOO MUCH SJDJSJSKSKSJS BUT I GOT SUPER EXCITED..... Sorry to have changed your man sm Sheepie😞

#💙! mah's answers #💙! sheep<3 #💙! mah's art #twst #twisted Wonderland #trey clover

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xomakara · 2 months

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Here is my ATEEZ MASTERLIST where you will find ongoing/complete series and stories.

NCT ML here → Look at me!

Everything here is NSFW or 18+, unless otherwise specified.

Please see the little symbols that will differentiate the type of post.

Smut, Mature, NSFW, 18+, Explicit - 💦

Fluff - ✨

Implied suggestive - 💋

Angst - 💔

SFW - ⭐

Anyone under the age of 18. PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT with anything rated NSFW or 18+.

The stories are NOT actual representation of the idols’ personalities in real life and are just works of fiction.

SERIES

Sailing Into The Unknown | OT8 x AFAB!Reader | Ongoing | You sail together with the pirates of Ateez on an unforgettable journey filled with adventure, friendship, and love that is as bold and untamed as the seas themselves.

BY MEMBER

💦 Beyond The Bounty | 7K words | smut, western au, bountyhunter!Seonghwa, cowboy!Seonghwa, outlaw!Reader When you get caught by Seonghwa, the bounty hunter, for the hefty bounty on your head, you can’t help but want to know his story.

💦 Welcome Home | 3.2K words | smut, idol!Seonghwa, jealousy In which you jump Seonghwa’s bones after he comes home from tour.

💦 Tides of Rivalry | 5k words | smut, pirate au, captain!Hongjoong, captain!Reader You and Hongjoong have a rivalry to be the best captain of the High Seas. You constantly bicker with each other but you both hold high respect for each other. You both get stranded on an island and then feelings ensue.

💦 Caught Red Handed...Sort Of | 2.9K words | smut, idol au You catch Hongjoong jerking himself off and you decide to give him the best night of his life.

✨⭐🩵 Kindergarten Love Story | 4.3K words | fluff, dad!Hongjoong, sfw Attending elementary functions as a single mom with other pretty, attention-starved, flirtatious moms is a struggle. Especially since the new kindergarten teacher is Hongjoong, an old friend of yours that you haven't seen since your university days. You're torn between telling Hongjoong that he's your daughter's father or keeping everything a secret.

💦 Passion On The High Seas | 4.7K words | smut, pirate au, historical/fantasy, pirate!Yunho, noble!Yunho After running away from your life as a noblewoman to become a pirate, you meet Yunho, a handsome pirate who has an equally shocking past.

💦 Love In Turbulence | 4.1K words | smut, strangers to lovers, wedding au You're on the way to your best friend's wedding and you accidently drool on your seatmate's shoulder, not knowing that he's the best man.

💦 Game On, Love | 4.6K words | smut, gamer au Yunho’s a gamer and so are you. In fact, you’re both so good at it, you reach top rankings in international competitions, and that’s how you notice each other. But romance is more than a game—or is it?

💦 All Eyes On You | 2.9K words | smut, idol au Yunho gets a bit jealous when you’re fussing over all the members’ clothes, hair, and makeup.

💦 Office Secrets | 8.5K words | smut, office au, established relationship You're in a relationship with your boss, Yunho. Except no one in the office knows that you're together.

💦💔 Breathing | 7K words | smut, historical/fantasy, slight angst You were betrayed by your betrothed and left for dead. You’re rescued by a healer named Yeosang, who nurses you back to health. As you recover, you share your past with Yeosang and express your desire to live a quiet life, away from the rumors and hatred you faced.

💦 Sweat and Seduction | 4.1K words | smut, gymrat!Yeosang You’re a yoga instructor that teaches yoga and well-being. When the girls in your class get distracted by Yeosang, a regular gym client, you can’t help but fall for him too.

💦 Riding The Heat | 3.4K words | smut, omegaverse You, an omega, go on tour with your alpha, Yeosang, and his group mates since your heat is due to hit soon. Tensions run high during the concert when your heat starts and you can't help but wait until after the concert to ride out your heat with Yeosang.

💦 The Man Next Door | 4.6K words | smut, neighbors, San is your brother’s friend and your next door neighbor. Despite the constant bickering, you can’t deny the attraction between you both.

💦 Fevered Gaze | 3.9K words | smut, threesome You end up dancing with San and Wooyoung at the club where you can’t help but want them.

💦 Roomies With Benefits | 7.3K words | smut, college au You have no choice but to be roommates with San when there is a glitch in the leasing office’s system. The more time that you live together, the more that you both can’t help but want each other.

💦 Bump and Trim | 2.2K words | smut, pregnancy San helps you trim the hair around your intimate parts since you're pregnant.

💦 Rhythm of Desire | 6.6K words | smut, idol au You and Mingi get paired up for a special song collab that calls for sexy dancing and smooth seductive vocals and rapping. You can’t help but want each other.

💦 Wanted Dead or Alive | 7.9K words | smut, western au A handsome cowboy is injured while tending to a wild horse he’s rescued miles from town. You’re on the run, and can’t afford to stop on your way to your destination – but you can’t ignore the wounded man when you see him, and decide to help him despite the personal risk.

💦 Elevator | 2.5K words | smut, office au, public sex You and Wooyoung are stuck in the elevator with nothing to do but talk. But when you are awfully aware of how close he is, you can’t help but act on your urges.

💦 Fevered Gaze | 3.9K words | smut, threesome You end up dancing with San and Wooyoung at the club where you can’t help but want them.

✨⭐🩵 The Baby Bug | 3.5K words | suggestive, fluff, dad!Wooyoung Wooyoung comes home from work after taking care of a baby and he really wants another child.

💦 Crossing Boundaries | 8K words | smut, childhood friends, age-difference You are older than Wooyoung by two years and is best friends with his older brother, so you always saw Wooyoung as a younger brother. But Wooyoung wants to be so much more than a younger brother.

💦 Craving You | 5K Words | smut, friends to lovers When you accidently send a nude of yourself to Jongho, he can't help but look and start to crave you. The only thing standing in his way: your friendship.

✨💔⭐🩵 Forever Lost, Forever Found | 6.2K words | suggestive, slight angst & fluff, soulmate au, fantasy You're cursed to live an immortal life since you had broken the rules of the Celestial Realm. It's the modern time and you meet Choi Jongho, a man that resembles someone you fell in love with many centuries ago.

✨💦 Second Chance at Love | 7.1K words | smut, dad!Jongho, dilf!Jongho, fluff Jongho’s twin daughters really want you to be their new mom ever since you have been taking care of them after their mom passed. They’re trying to play matchmaker between you and Jongho to fall in love, but in actuality, you and Jongho already have feelings for each other.

💦 Beyond Friendship | 9.3K words | smut, college au, friends to lovers, oblivious friends You and Jongho are best friends who secretly harbor intense sexual desires for each other. After a night out, you finally confess your feelings…

#ateez #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #ateez stories #ateez fanfic #xomakara masterlist

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helluvapurf · 4 months

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*deep breathes* Sooo, those last couple mins from the latest "Full Moon" ep... lets talk about that🍵🍵

Welp, here it is folks... the ep that finally gave us that hyped up "Asmodeon crystal" exchange teased at in the S2 Pt. 2 trailer. And... hooooo boi, I have formed so. many. thoughts. upon rewatching that scene a few times. Some that are... kiiiinda on the rant-y spectrum the more I lingered on 'em, so how bout I share them here lmao

Fair warning in advance, this maaaaay not be particularly "nice" to Stolas in these rambling thoughts, so if anyone out there's a big Stolas(+itz) fan... yall might wanna skip reading ahead- lol .w.;;

*claps*

Okay, so to start things off on a (semi?) positive note, the animation & lighting here is quite beautiful to look at. The glittery curtains, the shine in Blitz's eyes throughout his shifting emotions, even the shots of that one broken chandelier (which I thiiink might've been the same one him & Stolas played under as kids?) was a neat bit of symbolism ngl.

Props to Brandon Rogers as well for his voice-performance on Blitz here cause... gawd did it hit me in the heart how much hurt you feel from his yelling ;-;💔

Curious to see more of the use of Blitz's new Asmodeon crystal in future adventures (esp from that one shot in the trailer w/ him using the portal effects against the DHORK crew), it looks cool~ ✨👍

....ummmm, ok I think that about covers my positives atm. Onto the problems I have with this exchange:

Stolas... okay, you were this close to actually doing a good job ending the Full Moon deal. Admitting to how "wrong" the transaction part of their dynamic was, allowing Blitz more "freedom" via-the crystal (that could also help avoid any legal issues that the Grimoire gave), even wishing him good luck with his I.M.P. business as the night drew to a close... ...buuuuut then Stolas just had to muddle everything up by his whole "even tho you don't have to be with me, I want you with me if you want it~🥺" ...which honestly came off selfish to me than anything else?? Like, dude... if you really ARE regretful of how long you let this deal go for, and truly DO want to let Blitz go... you CAN'T throw in such sappy, lovey-dovey words on top of that?? Otherwise, how can one blame Blitz for getting as confused & flustered as he was throughout that convo... you've basically just sent even more mixed-messages in the grand scheme of things, my dude-🤦‍♀️

"I have wanted you for SO long, the fact that you couldn't believe that I might have these feelings about you, that your first instinct is that its always about sex..." ...Ummmmm Stolas... did you seriously forget HOW this whole deal of yall's started?? 🤨 Waaaay back in the initial-series pilot, to the first official ep, and pretty much the majority of Season 1:

As far as I checked, Blitz wasn't the one who kept making everything about sex... that. was all. YOU. 😒Heck, literally one of the first things you told Blitz upon reuniting as adults in "The Circus", was that you expected he wanted to "ravish" you-

-so like, get outta here with the whole pushing-the-perv-responsibility-bs onto Blitz... you ain't helping your case >>

Finally... like, it was already getting bad enough by the point of Blitz begging & pleading out of fear he'd lose his livelihood without the book, AND not being allowed space to breathe after getting further pushed away (and thus, more pissed off-)... but THEN on top of all this, Stolas just haaaaad to throw in this lil gem: "Blitz... I think so very highly of you. I didn't realize you think so low of me..." ...Stolas, with all due respect... stfu with that lousy, last-minute uwu-ing self-pity party crap😑Just because you TRIED to show more attentive care & concern post-"Ozzie's", outside of the typical bedroom stuff... that ain't gonna prove shit if you're not gonna be consistent with it. Where was that "high opinion" of Blitz during the two of you getting stuck in the sitcom set during "Seeing Stars", when Blitz was having that panic attack performing live, where all you ended up doing was... just hitting on him/praising his bedroom skills again?? 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Like... couldn't you have just, I dunno... TRY to actually cheer him up/comfort him like an actual friend, would? Encourage him on his jokes, "just be yourself", promising another way out of there on his own merit... literally, anything could've worked fine and it wouldn't have come off so skeezy imho >>;;

...*sighs* so, yeah... thats basically what I had to get off my chest regarding the ending of "Full Moon". Honestly, had the writers actually committed to Stolas cutting off Blitz (even if harsh), giving the crystal with no strings, then going about their separate ways afterwards, I would've been totally fine with the scene tbh. But all this... odd lowkey-blaming of Blitz thrown in, the sappy words, and Stolas not once actually-apologizing during all this (Like, literally I checked and the only utterance of "sorry" seemed to come from Blitz's end before he got kicked out... for what, I dunno- 🤷‍♀️). Sorry for the length btw, but hopefully that about covers my thoughts on the matter-

#helluva boss critical #hellaverse critical #hellaverse rants #stolas critical #(*apologies in-advance again for this getting a bit lengthy but...hoooooo BOI did this whole scene get me steamed =_=;;*)#(*i know I've mentioned I was already not a big Stolas fan before but this... hhhhhhh it is SO not helping that opinion sway >>;;*)#(*again if you DO genuinely like/love Stolas then by all means more power to ya!*)#(*I aint here to stop anybody & I'll still find myself occasionally enjoying some Stolas content at times...*)#(*for now I just... need a -bit- of a breather & to honestly give Blitz a hug cause omlllll did the guy get done dirty here </3*)

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vettelsvee · 2 months

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me trying to figure out which way the yn and seb will go before realizing what fools they were and that they were born to be together

love this and you all so much because there's no way you're so hooked to the story when it hasn't even started at all yet 😭😭😭😭

actually, to tell you a little bit more about the story, seb and yn meet again because yn posts a song she composed on youtube and accidentally gets viral! everyone on the paddock happens to like the song, and seb gets really shocked once he recognized yn’s voice! he also hooked up with a girl the previous night because it was yn’s birthday (april 27th actually) and he was feeling so bad (he sends her an email wishing her happy birthday every year since they broke up even she never replies 💔)

i'm posting more of the aesthetic here because guys, i just can't keep containing myself anymore, i'm soooo excited about this!

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mulders-too-large-shirt · 30 days

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s3 episode 23 thoughts

the previous episode was SO good. but, it is true, i was distracted by the dog. it was SUCH!! a perfect episode. EXCEPT for that one thing. so i hope that today, i can face this episode with a clear head, free of judgement based on the fate of little dogs.

well, boy, i did face this episode with a clear mind, and wow. wowza. another AMAZING ep... and i will keep the angst from this episode in my heart forever and bottle it and take a nice long swig when i need my msr feels, which is basically always. wow. an exclamation point doesn't even feel APPROPRIATE, it just needs to hang in the air for a bit. (wiping tears away) wow....

let us go back to yesterday's notes, which shall commence below:

reading the episode description... so this one features murders linked to a device that alters television signals… huh. man, too many people i know don’t even have cable anymore. this simply would not work in the modern era. imagine if hulu or tubi or something made you kill people though lmao that would be silly to imagine.

we open with a guy digging a hole in the woods. always a promising start. seems he’s in an orchard of some sort? and the music is very very creepy.

okay, so just as you suspect, this dude is burying a dead guy. sometimes your gut instinct is correct and tropes are not meant to be subverted. but the dude who is burying him says “your killing days are OVER” so is this actually a justice arc??? hmm. it is not clear. man, it would be hard to dig a hole like that.

shovel murder man is at home washing the blood off. but then someone else approaches him and he kills THAT GUY TOO WITH THE SHOVEL?? huh? what is going on.

police at da guy’s house. everyone has the same face as the dude he just killed??? so they tase him. and then the faces go back to their REAL faces. now what is going on here!!!!!!!!!!

as the real faces return, the man realizes he killed someone named sarah!!! and he seems sooo upset by the fact that he killed sarah!!!! poor sarah :(

so does the tv make you see other people’s faces on the bodies of random people….? omg that’s insidious...

we now shift to a different scene, one where mulder is sitting in his car at 2 am. doing what???? waiting for some guy!!! he was waiting TWO HOURS for this guy!!! who is this guy...? it's giving blind date/drug deal.

the man who enters his car gives him a newspaper clipping about the murders we just saw. and mulder came here after getting AN ANONYMOUS EMAIL in the middle of the night??? this is crazy because literally so many people want him dead and this would have been a very easy way to accomplish that goal. wow. seriously, no self-preservation instincts on this guy.

mystery man says he has no obligation to explain what is going on, but if mulder walks away from it, more people will die. so no pressure!! xx

cutscene to a hospital, where mulder is watching our murderer through glass, while scully comes in saying that she is sorry she is late, but “the beltway was a parking lot”. beltway refers to interstate 495! thank you wikipedia i love your services!

murderer is named joseph. and he claims to have been killing the same guy over and over again, and that he wouldn’t die. which seems pretty awful.

OH! and the week before, in the same town, a babysitter attacked the kids she was watching because she thought they were WOLVES??? omg that is horrific??

they’re talking to the physician, dr. stroman, who says perhaps this was provoked by amphetamine abuse. then joseph starts SCREAMING. he sees a guy on the TV- miriskovic- sorry y’all idk my post-soviet history 💔 (update: i googled it, i don't even think that guy was real because all the results are links to wikis on this specific episode... reveals how little i truly know)

anyway, seeing that guy's face on the TV seems to have triggered the screaming situation. does he have trauma from the country he used to live in and seeing references to it makes these things happen…? that would be a wild episode. put me in the writer's room and let me cook.

scully quickly picks up on the fact that this case is Weird, and mulder admits it came from some random guy, which makes her suspicious. but they go to the crime scene, and, like always, he lifts the crime scene tape up over her head, and it’s very charming despite the lack of sensibility in going down this whole rabbit hole.

the minute they get in, they hear screaming and a gunshot! but it’s just some kids watching TV??? eating popcorn in a crime scene??? LMAO WHAT?

mulder kicks them out and scruffs one of the boy’s heads... ohhhh he needs to be a father so bad huh... like i have been saying this since s1 he just has a Need to tease and spoil children. well, we can unpack that another time. there's crime afoot.

so he watches the tv and it starts to go all static-y because a guy outside is fixing the wires. scully finds a TON of tapes and they’re just shelves and shelves of cable TV shows!!!

“there must be hundreds of videos here”, she says, to which he asks “anything good?” <- idk why this made me giggle. it sounded like he was gonna put one in and chill for a bit lmao

scully starts to wonder if seeing the cable news, like joseph had recorded, was what triggered his episode back at the hospital. ooooh! a theory!!!

cut to mulder watching a tape in the bed of his motel, making an absolute pile of sunflower seeds- this dude is gonna attract mice or something someday omfg- and also he has a cola which is peak american culture. LMAOOOO he has a HUGE pile of tapes on the floor i’m crying... my type A self could NOT deal with him!

he says he watched 36 hours of bernard shaw and bobbi batista and is now also ready to kill someone as scully welcomes him into her room, which also has cola but is much more nicely organized! she found something weird on the tapes from late april, each a night when he committed a murder

AND WHY DID MULDER GET ALL COZIED UP ON HER COUCH?????? hooooooly fuck i have never seen such a baby girl of a man

OMFG??? all the reports from the murder nights feature that miriskovic guy!!!

so did seeing violence make him violent? mulder says no, and that theory assumes that “americans are just empty vessels, ready to be filled with any idea or image that’s fed to them like a bunch of pavlov dogs, and go out and act on it” oh if only this man could see the news lately……… insert ben affleck smoking a cigarette image here to describe the things we see in our current age. mulder you would not believe.

he’s really bashing her theory, but she’s saying maybe he was high and seeing these things sent him on a spiral- makes sense to me

he is leaving to go get some sleep (after admitting he can’t explain what is going on!!! which always endears me) but scully says she is going to watch the rest of the tapes… a herculean task for our girl

middle of the night and it’s still tape time for scully, but she hears the phone ringing. she hears mulder having a conversation. and he says “no, she doesn’t” which is weird… that is suspicious… what doesn't she...

scully chews her ice which is so funny because me too sometimes. she has chewed all of her ice and must fetch more. and get a cola ofc!!! nothing more american than a cold soda iktr!

but she sees mulder in his car??? lighting up with cig man???? HUH??? and handing over a tape? omfg this is crazy. i assume she is hallucinating though, because no way….

cutscene to a lady named helene watching “the price is nice” (lmaooo) and washing some dishes. but the soap in the dishes starts to look funny- and everything is glitching around her!!! she sees a man outside in a hammock… kissing a woman!!! and oh, she is furious!! she gets her SHOTGUN?? this has escalated very fast. and we hear some shooting!!!

scully is still very visibly disturbed. mulder is reporting the murder, but she seems like a shell of herself. she checks the ash tray in the car, and there is no ash… she notices the car has been moved and he says he got a paper…. why do you ask…. “nothing. it’s nothing” OHHH THIS IS JUICY

so the crime scene has a very bloody hammock. and a dead man, who the wife claims he saw in the hammock with a blonde. but the only other creature at the scene was a dog!!!

OH!!! the hammock man wasn’t even helene's HUSBAND??? this really is LAYERED!! she killed the NEIGHBOR thinking it was her husband, who wasn’t even in town!!!!!! how do you mess this up so badly?

despite the fact that scully is clearly suspicious of mulder, she is sharing the umbrella with him in their usual fashion, and the sense of tension this produces is delicious

they go to investigate the crime scene and mulder finds some sort of bike and immediately climbs upon it while proclaiming that television does NOT cause violence (LMAOOO HE IS SO WEIRD i need him.)

they find a bunch more tapes and AGAIN the same guy is messing with the cables outside while they're investigating!!!! mulder is in chase mode!!!! but he cannot chase this dude in the van!!! no man, even a track star such as him, can outrun a van carrying secrets!

scully is trying to fast forward the TV and she looks out to see mulder climbing the pole…. average day for a man like him. he finds a weird cable scrambler in there. she wants to send it to the crime lab, but he says he’ll do the analysis, and she should go interview helene the murderer. OH... she is so suspicious, she just wants to go home…. scully :((( mulder is deeply confused as to why she is being so weird

so he takes the thingy to the lone gunmen, who say it looks like it’s used for blocking premium cable channels, which i didn’t even know was a thing, you learn so much with this show. but it doesn’t block anything!!! HOWEVER, if you compare a tv with the machine and one without it, the one with the machine is slightly different. hmm...

“you know how television works?” “yeah, you click it on, you have a picture” <- the man who said that line went to oxford btw

it seems that this cable blocker thingy is adding some sort of frequency, but they can’t tell what… hmm.

mulder on the road. scully calls and only asks “where are you” in this very flat and creepy tone and OH i’m scared!!!!

he tries to explain that there is some sort of signal being introduced to the tv- he even says she might be right about the tv inducing violence theory! but she isn’t answering… she hears a clicking, like they're being listened to, and she says he never went to the detective…. let’s wait and talk on a landline, he says.

despite being in his car many miles away, he can tell that there is something very wrong with scully. he says don’t go anywhere, he’ll be right there, and redials after she hangs up. it's very much echoing when she said something similar to him in his crazed gargoyle quest.

but she is so scared, she rips the phone out of the wall and takes it apart!!!! and then the lamp too, and the table. she is checking everything for any sort of bugs!

holy hell, we have never seen her like this before... but i’m actually gagged because she is usually relatively stoic and seeing her paranoid is so different, but it also feels very natural??? she is acting her ass off here as she rips up everything in this motel room. big shoutout to GA, i love your work.

and the static that set in helene's vision earlier is setting in hers now!!! she hears a car pull up and drops to the floor…. she hears a man say “she’s in here” and a pounding on the door.

OMFG someone tries to open the door and she FIRES 4 SHOTS RIGHT AWAY??? but it’s mulder!!!!

(author's note: i was thinking after i finished the episode, and we know that she is a good shot- remember how she hit just the right angle to knock mulder out but not kill him at the end of s2? so she is either SO out of it that she cannot even aim straight, or there is a tiny tiny tiny part of her that still thinks that mulder isn't worth killing. please mull over which option brings you greater angst)

he’s coming in with his gun and his hair is blowing in the wind and he can’t FIND HER!!!!! it was really very dramatic. hair blowing in the wind has this effect.

cutscene to scully’s mom’s house, and we see a picture of young scully on the table... AWW stop she’s so cuuuute and one of missy as well 😭😭😭

OH! it’s mulder on the phone calling mrs. scully in the middle of the night!!! NOOOO he has to tell her that he doesn’t know where she is :( NOOOO poor mrs. scully has gone through too much. he feels SO bad breaking this news, that he even apologizes for hanging up right away, something he never ever does. he must be in deeeep distress to do such a thing.

and why does he hang up?? because SKINNER IS HERE!!! he’s leading a manhunt for scully, and mulder is saying she shouldn’t be hunted like a convict… but skinner says dude SHE FIRED FOUR ROUNDS AT YOU AND SOME RANDOM GUY last night!!!!

despite this, mulder insists that he can get her to listen to him if they just keep her safe; she’s suffering from some sort of paranoid psychosis. skinner is being quite patient as he tries to explain that the video tapes made her do it. skinner says well... you better find her before these guys do.

GASP!!! he’s putting up the x on his window! and doing that thing where he bounces his basketball because he cannot relax!!! stop i'm emotional!!!!!

the lone gunmen call to say they found something on the tape…. and it induces electrical activity…. MIND CONTROL???

but why wasn’t he effected?

! MULDER LORE REVEAL ! HE’S RED-GREEN COLORBLIND???? THIS IS AN INSANE LORE DROP TO GIVE NEARLY 4 SEASONS IN??????

wait, is this just for plot purposes, or is DD actually colorblind and they decided to roll with it? because now i’m gonna be looking at all the red-ish things we see on screen (like his tie he is grabbing to emphasize his point) and wonder, can he see that? how does this impact his tie selection process....

okay that really threw me off guard. man, i was getting to think we'd never get another lore reveal, which is a shame because i quite like formatting those facts in that way. good to know we could get more at anytime!

he gets a phone call from maryland state police. the lone gunmen ask if she’s okay and he says no, he has to go and ID the body. WHAT!!!! WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!! he is trying to keep composed. holy fuck………..

(heavy breathing as i grab your shoulder and squeeze) hey man. hey. he was trying so hard to be strong.

so he pulls up to the morgue and stops before he gets out of the car, and holds his head above the wheel STOP I’LL CRY???? i’ll cry… what are they putting him through??? losing her again……..

(i mean i have SEEN gifs of scully in seasons past this one, so i know she's gonna pull through, but HE doesn't know that, and must be reliving the worst days of his life AGAIN, and aughhhhh!)

but the mystery guy from the start of the episode that give him the info on the muders pulls up and says get in right now!!!!!! mulder is furious, he says he’s busy. in a shocking display of insensitivity, mystery man says he does not give a fuck. mulder is yelling that this is all his fault. mystery man says “they” are destroying the evidence, and they’ll finish it by tomorrow if he keeps searching for her, but he kicks the door shut and ignores him.

(omg…. he loves her enough to break him out of his bloodhound mode… the dogged ahab-like quest for answers and revenge… i’m getting flashbacks to his conversation with missy in one breath…….. realizing he needs to put the ones he loves before his need for revenge sometimes..... wow)

so he walks into the morgue, and the dude in there says they found a body nude and shot in the forehead.

he closes his eyes to try and brace himself before taking a peek, to prepare to see her lifeless, probably reliving those many hours by her bedside when she was in the hospital, trying to imagine her shot in the forehead, the scully he knows and loves with her dry humor and her teasing smile and caffeine dependency, the her that is so full of life, lifeless…

but it isn’t her. PHEW!

despite this being good news that he has to share- she's not dead! her mother isn’t answering her phone…. so he goes to her house. and i'm thinking, oh my gosh, did she do something rash in her grief?

but mrs. scully answers the door and claims dana isn’t here. he bursts in and says he needs to see her right now. omg, he saw right through her lies.

(also, it always feels weird to refer to her as dana, but moving on)

NO!!!! she has him at gunpoint and says he’s here to kill him!!! poor guy looks so flabbergasted… and her mom is trying to get her to please put down the gun, and he’s trying to explain what is going on!!! he is so singularly locked into her….

“he’s lied to me from the beginning. he’s never trusted me” “scully, you are the only one i trust” AUGHHHHH (rips my clothes off of my body in biblical levels of grief)

“you’re one of the people who abducted me” AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (rips off not only my clothing but also my hair as i experience emotions that rival what job from the bible went through)

she’s CRYING, and saying he killed her sister while her mom gets between him and the gun… and she’s saying she knows she’s safe here, that’s why she came here, and to put the gun down. and she falls into her mother’s arms sobbing.

WHAAAAAAAAT. and he had to watch all that… oh my scully oh my goodness my poor scully…

timeskip a little bit. he shows up to the hospital where scully is with her mother, and mockingly puts his hands up in surrender, because he is so STUPID and he always has to make a joke, and i love him so terribly, so so so terribly, because he loves HER.

she's laying in the bed, and he shuts off the tv and asks how she’s feeling. she says she is ASHAMED- as if being a victim of mind control was a personal failing. scully, i want to yell, you have NO REASON to be ashamed, let me take all the shame from you and carry it elsewhere. she says it was like the world was turned upside down.

and he makes ANOTHER stupid joke about the world being out to get him, and now she knows how he feels-

before leaning in and explaining how joseph, the first murderer on this case, became convinced he was killing the bosnian war criminal who people called “the modern hitler”, which was especially important to him because both of his parents survived the holocaust. hence his line about the killing days being over!!!

and helene was scared her husband would cheat on her. so somehow the TV signal turned their worst fears into a living nightmare.

OHHHH HER WORST NIGHTMARE IS HIM BETRAYING HER. HIM BEING RESPONSIBLE FOR HER GOING MISSING AND LOSING HER AUTONOMY AND MEMORIES... wails into my shirt.

(this reminds me of that episode in s2- irresistible- when we learn her biggest fear is that humans are capable of terrible horrific things and grasping to trust despite that knowledge. we’re seeing that again right here. how uncertainty seeps in)

THEY CALL HIM THE CANCER MAN!!! wow very official canon recognition of the name (yeah it’s happened before but it happened again so that is cool) anyway she says she saw him giving cancer man the tapes and reporting.

he says that maybe cancer man was behind this, but then he whispers “why don’t you try and get some rest?” and there is something in me that melts so entirely as he leaves her to sleep.

(perhaps it is the fact that hurt/comfort and whump are my favorite tropes. because is there anything more intimate than letting someone see you at your most vulnerable, and them choosing to love you at it? is there any feeling more cutting than seeing your loved one suffer and knowing you’d stop the world for an instant of their relief? the terrible desperation of both parties, the wordless connection upon recovery, someone being the last thing you see before everything fades to black and then the first person you see when you return... yeah. it’s cathartic. but also it makes me want to yell and cry. pls give me all the hurt/comfort content)

so the doctor found high serotonin levels in her that maybe can be associated with mania, but now they’re back to normal. he asks if someone in her situation would be diagnosed with amphetamine abuse, and she says no. then he quickly calls the hospital where joseph is staying… what is he cooking in there…

he wants to talk to joseph's doctor, dr. stroman, who left behind only a number from the motel…. and he had JUST checked out…. so he’s going through his stuff. and asking about his calls. and he DOES find a cigarette in his room but a lot of people smoke so… try not to jump to conclusions juni… but the cigarettes mean one thing in this show!!! was this innocent-looking doctor behind such a cruel experiment?!

he calls and has the last number the doctor called get checked from the folks at the lab… so he goes to visit the place of residence and creepy music is playing. the dude from the cable company we saw before rolls up!!! he walks right inside the house, so mulder peeks inside. it seems the people in the house set up a trap of some sort, as they are talking about “him” showing up at 7.

he bursts in after hearing gunshots and both of the men in there are dead!!! shot in the head!!!!

who is there... but X???? X says he HAD to kill those men- he just hoped mulder would get them first. and oh, mulder is YELLING AT X!!! he is letting him HAVE IT!!! he says he is a coward, he was too scared to unveil the situation with the mind control TV murders himself….. he says X NEVER risks his own life, but he sure does make him risk mulder and scully’s.

OH! he is holding X at gunpoint. all X is saying is that he failed, and that mulder needs him. so he walks out, confident he won't pull the trigger. and he doesn't.

WHAT! i need to kind of just let that sit for a second. i need to figure out this X fellow, but i get the sense i never will…. he failed… because he chose to try and save scully…….

cutscene to skinner’s office, where mulder is giving him a report. and scully walks in and says that dr. stroman DIED IN 1978!!! when skinner asks about the killer, mulder jumps in and says he remains unknown… oh, skinner is def gonna pick up on that….

so now we see X in a random back alley. getting into a car…. WITH CANCER MAN?????? X REPORTS TO CANCER MAN??? he asks if he has completed his work, and X reports that he has cleaned out all the personnel, everything is removed, but mulder still has a device. and mulder’s source has been eliminated. but the source’s source remains unknown. oh, he’s def lying through his teeth.

OOOOOOH this episode was SO good.

oh man, my brain is racing in a bunch of different directions. scully breaking down and sobbing into her mother’s arms…. scully convinced that mulder is a traitor, that he did those terrible things to her…. mulder so scared that she was gone, bouncing his basketball, getting a call from the police department that he had to go identify her… choosing her, even in what he thought was death, over following the Truth… the sick and twisted relationship he has with X, and X with Cancer Man, and Cancer Man with the world… it’s making me think of how mulder broke into his house that one time, was going to kill him over what he did to scully, and cancer man had the nerve to say he liked mulder… OOOH my brain is just racing racing racing.

poor scully… how scared she was, how horrified afterward…

other things that are on my mind, in no particular order: the bond between scully and her mother; mulder being all babygirl on that couch; mulder hopping on that bicycle and picking up some random doll from the murder victim's house; how haunting scully's voice was when she asked him over the phone where he was; their cola drinking; mrs. scully trusting mulder no matter what; how he tried to cover the grief in his voice when he told the lone gunmen he had to go identify her body; how he kicked the door shut of the mystery man, damning the investigation to pay his respects; how his head hovered above the wheel of the car before he got out to do that; how X uses and uses him to no clear end, and what is HE doing reporting to cig man, and what was that random doctor doing conducted fucked up experiments on random people; and scully's miraculously bad aim; mulder's conviction he could talk sense into her (spoiler: he could not); her shame at being convinced he had been the one who abducted her; how terrifying that must have been; and his stupid jokes when he walked into her hospital room, with the sincerity he tries so hard to outrun and outfox breaking through in his whispered why don't you get some rest?

so needless to say, i see why this one is a fan-favorite. this is certainly one i will be revisiting in the future when i need something strong. i have a million things to think over that will stick with me Forever, and i am in no rush to move on from this. in fact, i took these notes yesterday, but in the process of editing them tonight, i have decided i am not ready for the season finale and will have to save it for tomorrow because i'm still feeling So Many Things. so stay tuned to see how that goes, because whew!

#man i did all the typing of the notes yesterday but editing them took another hour today because RAHHHHH there was so much here to unpack #and i am going to KEEP unpacking it for a while #someone please give that man a child it is becoming increasingly evident he loves being around kids #let's get him to talk about his feelings first and then he can have a baby okay? one thing at a time #OHHH WHAT is this X fellow UP TO?!?!? AUGHHH i need to know #scully. my poor poor poor sweet scully. you deserve no pain and yet such pain has been inflicted upon you.#and her poor mother :( she is just the sweetest :( the pictures of dana and missy on her bedside table...#she is so loved :( and she loves mulder too which is so important :(#WAHHHH <- more crying!!!#so good. but in case you were wondering this still didn't bring actual tears to my eyes.#i guess that is just for poor little doggies getting eaten by beasts...#juni's x files liveblog #the x files #txf

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kit-kat-jo · 28 days

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My Murder Drones Finale Analysis... 2/2 - 1/2

jesus, imagine getting your entire life force RIPPED out your body, and being able to look back at it. i feel like this is only a taste of what the dissassembly drones went through during transformation.

uzi desperately trying to scoop her core back into her gaping open chest will haunt me for life, i think. and her hands haven't regenned yet, leaving her to scramble even more. absolutely. horrific. probably gonna be the most gruesome moment in this series for me altogether. didn't even notice N getting yoinked away there lol

this whole sequence as well… we, or N starts hearing a second voice while she repeats “let me in,” but who is it?? the actual cyn? one thing i know for sure though, is here is where N starts to get his past flashbacks, specifically of being torn apart and transformation. fuuuucked. up

i realize now that Uzi’s protecting her core from Cyn’s callback pings in all the times she’s grabbing at her chest, but at first i really thought she was terrified of losing her core again. which: UNDERSTANDABLE GIRLIE!! MY heart?? broke.

so, N did see the actual Cyn while he got tore open. and now he’s having proper trauma flashbacks and getting back bits and pieces. this absolutely breaks my heart, seeing how desperately panicked he gets, watching memories of what i’m only assuming is V being transformed. my sweet baby. for a moment i thought for sure he was going into a full panic attack. it’s a good thing hand holding pulled him out of a full on episode, but i think this man deserves a nice big breakdown after everything to process all the shit he’s been through. pretty sure V needs the same thing, having held onto these memories a whole lot longer. post series group therapy sesh?

i think i'm gonna hear CALLBACK PING in my nightmares, actually.

AND THIS IS WHERE I FUCKING CRY!!! after everything, after learning J was never on their side, V breaks. she needs to let everything out in the open to N. her apology and genuine emotion is so, so important to me… she LOVES him! always did! and it fucking hurt to have to hide like she did, only for it to all be a trick! she wanted to be honest with him this whole time, but she was so scared! she felt like she HAD to resort to acting resentful towards him and pushing him away! it gets me so, so bad.

and then N sacrifices his own safety to save her.

also teefs.

sorry

oh god. when V realizes that she’s only led N to his death… and that this long ago promise was only one big trick… everything falls down around her. she desperately grasps at being able to fix this. she blames herself. as Eternal Dream plays in the background… it was always their song, man. it was always V singing to N. so many of the lyrics fucking HURT now, putting it into this bittersweet context.

“let my body keep you warm, let my essence be your breeze, can you hear me calling? please look out for me. can you set me free?” it was always a love letter to N. (platonically. i see it platonically, better yet, in a sibling way.) the wishes she had for him to know everything. for them to be together. for her to not have to hide. to go home, to be set free from her neverending dream. it’s all so horrible and lovely and poetic to me. she deserves everything. they deserve everything.

and then her expressions as Cyn’s about to eat N’s heart, agonizingly slowly, staring her straight in the eyes so mockingly to pour salt in the colossal gaping wound. HEGGDHHSGSGGH💔

on a side note, i find it so interesting how, seemingly, a drone’s core magnetically gets yanked back to the body as soon as it gets a tiny chance. very ehm… helpful.

bi uzi tho. QUEEEEEEN PROUD OF HER FOR COMING OUT 💜

“glad you’re not dead or whatever.” waaaahahahh. they care for each other. bwuhuhuhh.

here, howd she stop letting the callback ping effect her….? just from being cringe and free?…. queen i guess?

also, she can effectively control the solver without cyn making it go crazy anymore. is this a result of just practicing and gaining more control over it? she’s just built different? or another plot hole? shrug noise. i said i was oddly okay with the plot holes, so that stands true here too.

nori already flinging herself into mom mode with her terms of endearment had me CRYING BRO!!! development!! she went from “i caused every horror in her life,” i gotta stay away from her, to HELL YEAH THAT’S MY DAUGHTER, KICKING ASS!! mom of the year ❤️

the entire fight scene was SO GOOD!!! i need AJ Dispirito’s “Bite Me” song injected into my bloodstream RIGHT NEOOWW!!

i’m obsessed with seeing them hold hands to calm each other down after a moment that affects one of them. it’s my favorite thing. we came so far from episode 6…… wipes tear

the lyrics focused on these two here is interesting to me… V saying to let her go, Uzi saying she’s not worth saving… either i’m looking too deep into it or OUCH GUYS NOOHOHO, MY SWEETIES

this had to be giffed. also, i love these scenes breaking the immersion several times and showing that all this time the nightcore is just playing through uzi’s ipod in the distance. absolutely genius.

i’ll admit, i was so confused from the black hole scene at first. but now i understand somewhat. after uzi grabbed her core and formed a [null,] she essentially had cyn’s life force. all those times she got away by turning herself into a black hole and floating off... that was essentially HER. in the void here, cyn had to try and get it back to come back to the living, like a drone putting their core back in their chest but in a weird, eltrich cyn way, i guess? instead of her core, its the manifestation of the solver itself? cyn’s and tessa’s bodies are so far gone, that all that’s left is the solver? and as soon as uzi saw what was happening, she knew she couldn’t have it back.

she fucking eated it…. homph. that was not on cyn’s bingo card. the eyes are HILARIOUS

awwwww husband wife reunion! she is so uzi’s mother.

and now, before we get into the end of things, my vizzy propaganda. not only did lizzy KNOW that v wasnt dead, and distracted j for her, but now, in @ottterpops' words, the sentinel is just like the pet she doesn’t want. its her and v’s daughter now, it’ll grow on her for sure : )

and now, my chosen video! :D

EVERYTHING about this scene, N calling for her, the HUG, him squeezing the LIFE out of her, her noises of getting choked and giggling, sent arrows straight through my heart, THEYRE SUCH CUTIES AAUHHHHG!! n spinning her around and throwing her in the air, her tackling v, ugh! THEY GOT THEIR HAPPY LITTLE ENDING!

she’s a fucking mary sue guys, ohhhh my lord. the eyes are so so cool though, they literally look like a sunset. she is living her best mary sue life now, jesus christ. she deserves it ❤️

uzi, uzi my beloved. she feels like a dear, dear friend, my sweet little emo who goes through the horrors and comes out of it with all her unhinged goofy cringe. i love her so, so much, and i’m SO fucking proud of these three. they deserve the happiest little life together.

and lastly, end credits!!! during the series rewatch, my friends and i joked that the finale should involve n getting to play a game of cards with everyone. and HAHA SKFHSJCKSJDHDJS

oh they’re def watching a scary movie… look at the way they hold onto each other, i’m done 😭😭 if i redraw anything, it’s gonna be this first tbh.

i ran out of space for images again, but! the solver still being alive in uzi is so good, she’s gonna be a real pain in the ass… the implications this brings up is so fun to think about, ugh the possibility for spinoff series is crazy! i’ll be waiting with baited breath for more content from glitch, whatever it may be! i’ll be happy!

alright, this is probably the longest frickin post i’ve ever made. but god, did i love this show. i’m so grateful my friend got me into it, and i can’t wait to continue loving it, rewatching it and messing with my stories for as long as that’s gonna last.

thank you Murder Drones, Glitch, and Liam Vickers. now to waste money that i don’t have on merch!! 💫

#murder drones #md #uzi doorman #serial designation n #murder drones finale #serial designation v #serial designation j #cyn #tessa james elliot #liam vickers animation #glitch productions #series analysis #GOD im gonna miss these guys!! what a lovely lovely experience #mwah mwah mwah

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f10werfae · 2 years

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My own Milf

pairing: Tom Holland x Older!Girlfriend!Reader

summary: Fans retell the best moments of what they see from tom holland and Y/n’s spicy relationship (Tom is 26, Reader is 31) (Requested by Anon)

Likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated🫶

Tom Masterlist, Full Masterlist

@/bornintheflesh: Tom finally posted a pic of him and his new girlfriend, and she is so hot. What a milf. I really don’t care if she’s 31, they make such a sexy couple wtf, did y’all not see the photo of them at the beach. TOM IS ENJOYING HER BLUE BIKINI A BIT TOO MUCH, his hands are gripping onto her ass for dear life😭😭

@/osterfieldlol: Harrison said on his story that he introduced Y/n and Tom, and that the first time Tom saw Y/n he said to Harrison “I’ve got to get her number mate” So he likes to think they’re the reason they got together

@/Marvelgyal101: Why are you guys hating on their age gap? Just cause it ain’t you. They’re such a beautiful couple and they both treat each other so well, that video of them both feeding each other at Tom’s family barbecue was everything!🫶

>> @/loserlovers: So true! I’ve seen some people call her a gold digger, but don’t they know she’s literally one of the only women representing her field?! Lord have mercy these people are dumb. Anyways Stan Y/n L/n, she’s a gorgeous independent woman who wouldn’t even need Tom to sustain herself

@/spiderwickman: Can Tom just marry her already? They acting too cute to just be bf and gf, surely he’s already put a ring on her? That story Tom told where every morning Y/n gets a shower and he ends up joining her just to piss her off, THAT IS TOO MUCH FOR MY HEART TO HANDLE

>> @/Y/nL/n: PSA. The only reason it pisses me off is because he gets too handsy and then that leads to a two hour shower and then I get hungry. THEN I HAVE TO COOK BECAUSE HES TOO LAZY.

>>> @/TomHolland: Now come on love, you love my pancakes

@/bunnyrabbitexpress: Did anyone see Tom’s tattoo? It’s a tattoo of a dove on his shoulder, and he said it’s because it’s what he used to call Y/n when they first started officially dating😭 Don’t mind me just sleeping on the highway tonight😭

@/Y/nL/n: Can someone please tell @/TomHolland that i’m not talking to him until he returns all underwear to my closet, he’s such a pervert and now i’m left going commando 25/8. Or i’m stuck wearing his stinky boxers, 😪

>> @/TomHolland: Well i’m telling you, Y/n Holland, I prefer you without em, plus those lace things look terribly uncomfortable. So i’m doing you a favour, stick to the granny panties or go bare❤️

>>> @/liviaughholland: HE HAS TURNED INTO A SEXUAL BEAST, WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM😍😭😭 Lowkey lovin the PDA tho, so keep goin

@/Biggiraffe: Saw Y/n and Tom out in London walking Tessa, well actually, it was Y/n walking Tessa while Tom took videos of them from behind laughing and giggling as Tessa just trotted pulling Y/n along to her hearts desire.

@/princesstulip: My sister saw the Holland couple on the beach in Spain, she told me Tom was literally all over Y/n like a rash. Reapplying her sunscreen for her, refilling her drinks, kissing her body literally EVERYWHERE, puckering his lips for a kiss anytime she complimented his sand castle he built around her and adding a moat to “protect his queen”

@/lestalk: No one makes me happier than seeing fan girls get humbled. While Y/n and Tom arrived at the airport in New York, they were absolutely ambushed by fans and paps, to a point where Y/n was physically pushed over because someone had clearly deliberately tripped her. AND TOM WENT BALLISTIC, SHOUTING AT PEOPLE TO “Calm down and step away from me and my girlfriend please! We just want to get out of here” Poor Y/n I think had to be seen by a medic because she hurt her knee or something💔

@/TomHolland: Happy 32nd birthday to the love of my life, and my forever home, Y/n L/n (will be Holland soon I promise) Thank God I went to Harrison’s party and met you, because I seriously don’t know where i’d be without you. I love your gorgeous self, mind and spirit; that ass too but that’s for later ;).

Lots of love, your Tommy

@/butterlfycocooon: Y/N AND TOM ARE ENGAGED, SHE JUST POSTED A PHOTO OF THEM AND HER HOLDING HER HAND UP WITH A DIAMOND RING OMGOMGOMG. THANK GOD WE ONLY HAD TO WAIT A YEAR AND A HALF, IT WAS GETTING DESPERATE

@/britishteafluff: Y/n is glowing, I don’t know why or how, but she’s got a different kinda beauty going on right now and i’m in love, sorry Tom. That photo Tom posted of her in a sundress with his family has gotten me starstruck, the way she carries herself so elegantly! Also not Tom’s mom hugging Y/n and not her own son, rip Tom lol

@/DailyMagazine: Breaking News! Tom Holland and lover Y/n L/n seen shopping at baby aisle at the local Target, does this mean a new arrival is on the way? Y/n and Tom have been together for 2 years now, with her being 33 and him being 28, last year we saw the couple engaged by the Swiss Alps; now are we seeing another new Holland?! Not only that, fans are also gushing at the sight of Tom wrapping his arms around his stunning fiancée, the couple seen to be as in love as the day they revealed their relationship. Whatever the pictures mean, we wish the happy couple the best!

———

PSA: As some of you know because of Taglists getting too big for some of my writing, I am making a library blog where I will simply reblog all my writing and ONLY my writing. Everything I write will still be posted here! Instead of my taglist, you can now follow @f10werfaes-cosy-collection 🫶 You can turn on post notifs if you wish, and instead of receiving a tag, you will see i’ve reblogged my own writing onto my library blog! Hope that isn’t too confusing, if there’s any questions then let me know♥️

Taglist (Until my library blog is ready!):

@Kaydesssssssss @esposadomd @imahallucinationnn @elenavampire21 @stuckysgirl27 @cookielovesbook-akie @theekyliepage @thoughtsofreid @acornacre @fdl305 @alexxavicry @bookfrog242 @alina02 @aerangi @mischiefsemimanaged @nikkitc0703 @hallecarey1 @misshale21 @stormcloudss @uwiuwi @marvelgurl @tinyelfperson @vrittivsanghavi

#tom holland #tom holland x female reader #tom holland x reader #tom holland imagine #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland fluff #tom holland x older!reader #tom holland x y/n #tom holland one shot #tom holland x you #tom holland x fem!reader #romance

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darkstripes · 20 days

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tumblr stop ruining photo quality challenge 💔

I’ve never posted my art on here before, but i’m kinda happy with how these came out so I figured I’d post em. So! Here’s a couple of messy Darkstripe refs

First ref is before Tigerstar’s (first) death. A pretty lanky dude with emo bangs. His fur is more medium in length, but he slicks it back (probably with some kind of sap?) and keeps up with it pretty well, so you can’t really tell his fur is on the longer side.

Second ref is after Tiger’s (first) death. He really lets himself go. Doesn’t really groom his fur anymore, so his longer fur is actually visible now. He’s lost weight, but it’s hard to tell under the fur. He’s got eye bags, too—probably not too noticeable though, at least farther away, because he’s got darker markings under his eyes. He probably started to let himself go a bit after Tiger’s exile, but only a tad; it actually gets bad after his death.

Please don’t repost without credit :)

#Warrior cats #warriors #warriors cats #darkstripe #kin #my art #wc #wc designs

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lynn-vdg · 22 days

Note

HALLO!!! Im Reading the jjk manga right now so just checking in because it has invaded my brain and rraaaaaaaah jjk jjk jjk… 😭 I BLAME U FOR THIS (I love jjk)

First of all, I LOVE THAT LAWYER SORCERER, he seems genuinely cool and he just reminds me of ace attorney tbh, Edgeworth if he was a jjk character FOR REAL

And this panel is also SO CUTE ONG.. YOU WERE RIGHT YES I AGREE WITH THE FACT THAT CHOSO IS THE BEST. Yuji deserves his brothers for realsies, THEY ARE BOTH AWESOME. And I keep seeing stuff saying how Todo VS Choso would go down, but I kinda think Todo would respect Choso (and ask for his workout routine MAHAHAH)

I’m even starting to get MY FRIENDS to watch it. DeterminedFanartist, aka my pookie 4evahs, IS ALSO WATCHING IT RIGHT NOW!!! My irl bruh called Choso “Cheese” and they ALL SIMP OVER GOJO. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY IRLS SIMP OVER GOJO IT IS CRAAZZZYY…

Maki’s power up WAS DESERVED and oh mah lord… I’m on chapter 202 AND KENJAKU WAS MANIPULATING MAH AMERICAN GOVERNMENT IS KENJAKU 2024 REAL?!?!! 🤩🤩🤩🤩 He’d be my president 🫡🫡🫡🇺🇸🇺🇸🏈🏈🏈🌎🌎🔫🔫🔫💪💪💪

About to read chapter 203 and… no… wtf like IT IS ALREADY STARTING OFF LIKE THIS. A “you will die” IN ANY MANGA THAT ISN’T STATED TO THE MAIN CHARACTER IS NOT GOOD NEWS…

Praying… praying right now I know EVERYONE is dying in this series but pllleaaseee GEGE LET ME HAVE THIS ONE THING PLEASE PLEASE DON’T TAKE HIIIMMMM PLEASE NO NO NO PPPLLEAASEEE 💔💔💔😭😭😭😭😭💔🥺🥺🥺😢😔😔😱😱😢😢😔😔😔😔

Anyways you weren’t lying when you said you were in your inactive arc, hoping you join me back soon DON’T LEAVE ME HERE MICHAEL MICHAEEEEEEELLLL 🔥🔥🔥🔥

I AM ALWAYS RIGHT! MY TASTE IN MEN IS IMPECCABLE! 😈 And yeah you”re SO RIGHT I fucking LOVE Higuruma (Miles edgeworth looking ass.) I don’t know how Gege always cooks so hard when it comes to characters 😩, Yuji’s and Choso’s relationship especially, HE’S THE COOK WHO COOKED UP OTHER COOKS 🙏 And i’m glad my jjk brainrot virus is spreading throughout the utmv/utc or whatever the flippio you call it at this point-

Also my fucking GOAT Maki out here destroying those dumbass sexists is absolute GIRL. BOSS. BEHAVIOR.

Ya better read up, cause in 3 weeks JJK ENDS. actually crazy but it’s true 😭 I miss it already….

Also, another suggestion, if you haven’t watched or read it is Jojo’s bizarre adventure 🤑, outside of part 1 which I dislike and part 3 which was boooooring, part 4 onwards is absolute peak, ESPECIALLY part 7 and 8 (sadly no anime for those yet 😔)

As for my inactive arc, i’ll try to revive more often, because i’ve actually just straight up been DEAD outside of looking at some random notifications I got, ALSO WHAT RLLY PISSES ME OFF IS WHEN I GET A NOTIFICATION ABOUT A SPECIFIC POST AND I CLICK ON IT AND IT JUST TAKES ME TO MY FEED, Like bitch I came to look at a specific post not search up that specific account and go through their posts 😭

As for why i’ve been dead eeehhh it’s mostly just I forgot a bit about Tumblr and started using Discord a whole lot more, not to mention i’m working on utc games 🤑 (Oh fuck, i’m in the money! I love money 🤑)

Now, my final question before I dump my doodles on you…

“Are you brainrotted because you’re 3dogbones, or are you 3dogbones because you’re brainrotted.”

I would post more doodles but there’s a 10 image limit 😭

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amberjazmyn · 1 month

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we ain't angry at you love, we'll be waiting for you love🥺🫶💔

pairing : f1 grid x platonic singer fem!reader, horner fem!reader

summary : daughter to red bull's christian horner, best friend to the grid, a singer and now an american college student that releases a song with noah kahan 'you're gonna go far' before she leaves. this chronicals the song, her leaving for college as well as everything else including her warm return back to everyone again.

warnings : a little bit of angst, fluff, comfort, noah kahan lol, a swear word, most of the grid (dramatically) missing reader

a/n : don't ask me how i thought up of this because i have no fucking clue but because i adore the thought of writing a singer!reader, this is what i came up with lol. also, obviously, geri is reader's step-mum but their relationship is basically the same as a biological mother and daughter

a/n 2: y.n is your name, n.n is nickname, your bff is your best friend forever and your ex bff is obviously ur ex bff

fc : my face claim is a mixture of olivia rodrigo and pinterest girlies because wtfn

liked by christianhorner, gerihalliwellhorner, maxverstappen1, redbullracing, charlesleclerc, yourbff and 12k others

y.nhorner met noah kahan and may have written a cheeky (soppy) song with him, double thumbs up from father horner and study notes because ya girl doesn't stop the grind now that colleges applications are opening!

view all comments

christianhorner i'm so proud of you darling girl, and like mumma always says, you're gonna go far! liked by y.nhorner

y.nhorner christianhorner thank you daddio! i love you forever

gerihalliwellhorner you are a superstar y.n! i love you so much baby liked by y.nhorner

y.nhorner gerihalliwellhorner thank you mumma, i love you so much more

maxverstappen1 how are your notes so perfect wtf liked by y.nhorner

y.nhorner maxverstappen1 because i actually want to finish school and get into my dream college and i put in effort??

redbullracing not only is she the princess of red bull but she is a singing queen as well as an academic queen as well! liked by y.nhorner

y.nhorner redbullracing ily rbr admin <3

charlesleclerc you're releasing a new single??? liked by y.nhorner

y.nhorner charlesleclerc did i say that???

yourbff i still cannot believe you met noah kahan without me, you lil snitch... liked by y.nhorner

y.nhorner yourbff last time i asked if you wanted to listen to him in the car you said no???

otherbff yourbff y.nhorner go off queen, you tell her bestie! liked by y.nhorner

landonorris if you've written a song with noah kahan, i just know it'll be fantastic and very emosh! liked by y.nhorner

y.nhorner landonorris thank you lanny! love you boo

username hold up, please tell me whatever you've written with noah that you'll release it and soon!!! liked by y.nhorner

y.nhorner username i have written a song with noah like mentioned in my caption but i cannot disclose whether or not it's gonna be released just yet i'm sorry but do keep your eyes peeled though <3

danielricciardo oh i just know you are slaying right now! liked by y.nhorner

y.nhorner danielricciardo thank you danny ric! you too are slaying right now

oscarpiastri i have WAITED for you to release new music so i really hope whatever you've written with noah gets released!!! liked by y.nhorner

y.nhorner oscarpiastri don't worry oscy, you'll know soon i promise!

username the way y.n likes and replies to each comment, i love her your honour! liked by y.nhorner

y.nhorner username you guys are the reason why i'm here so it's only fair i respond to as many as i can! and i love you too <3

it made y.n horner laugh a little after posting that sneaky post. it was very true that whilst she had met noah kahan that they had indeed written a song together. it was a song that noah had already started to write ages ago but suddenly got stuck when he lost inspiration and just trashed it. that was though, until he met y.n horner, and she told him that she was trying to write a song about how her family felt about letting her go so she could study in america after they had let her travel around the world with them for formula one. showing noah the text messages between her, her dad and her mum, it was clear to noah that the song he had trashed was basically the exact same song that y.n was wanting to write. so, what they decided to do was to mash the songs together, finish writing it and collab together on the song as well as letting noah have his own solo version of the song. and y.n loved it so much and so did noah that they knew that they just had to release it. but, obviously, they couldn't do it straight away so they started to create some mystery around it.

that was until she could no longer keep it a secret so she started to slowly release more details after watching noah do the same on his socials.

y.nhorner posted to her instagram story

[caption 1: missed me guys? well, this is where i've been so keep your eyes peeled my loves, the 'thing' is coming soonnnn💌 caption 2: tb to my first ever show! been missing it since all i've been doing is picking and choosing which colleges to attend in america]

gerihalliwellhorner replied to y.nhorner's story i'm excited my love! is it a single or an album?

y.nhorner thanks mumma, i'm excited too and it's a single but sadly that's all i can tell you at this moment but you'll love it and so will daddio!

gerihalliwellhorner the single you subtly posted ages ago with noah? well i'm very excited now and i cannot wait to hear it🤍!

y.nhorner thank youu, i'm so excited as well! and yes, the single with noah, i cannot wait for everyone to hear it either!

maxverstappen1 replied to y.nhorner's story is this the single that i think it is and that being the reason why you were showing me messages between you, christian and geri???

y.nhorner if i say yes, can you keep it a secret???

maxverstappen1 i can i can i can i can! omg i love you so much y.n!!!

y.nhorner hehe, i love you too maxie!

landonorris replied to y.nhorner's story omg is this the single that you referenced in your last insta post???

y.nhorner maybeee

landonorris fuck, does that mean it'll make me cry???

y.nhorner probablyyy

carlossainz55 replied to y.nhorner's story new song? since when, what is going on in the house of commons???

y.nhorner firstly, what do you think i was revealing in my last post and secondly, please never say that again and don't tell me it was lando who taught you how to say that for the love of god!

carlossainz55 honestly, i don't know, i just thought you were being sneaky like you were last time you announced a single! and i'm sorry, i won't say it again but would you believe me if i told you it wasn't lando but one of your fans???

y.nhorner i'm only joking with you carlitos, i know you've been waiting forever for a new single and so have i so me and noah are trying to release it asap! and, honestly, yeah, i would believe you if you said it was one of my fans. and for that, i apologise that they taught you that and blamed it on lando!

it was after releasing these instagram stories that noah rung up y.n to let her know that they had been given permission by their shared record label to release the song. and that they were releasing the song that very day! it was an exciting moment and she had only just posted those two stories so, now she had to post so many more stories and instagram posts about the release of the new single, it's name as well as the meaning of the song.

y.nhorner posted to her instagram story

[caption 1: releasing tonight is me and noah kahan's newest single titled 'you're gonna go far' and we are so excited and blessed to finally be able to let you all finally hear it after trying to keep it a secret💌 caption 2: not only do i feature on noah's song on his newest album 'forever' but he also has his own solo version that is on this new album along with the duet of the song as well so you get two versions of the same song! enjoy my lovelies!]

y.nhorner posted to her instagram story

[caption 1: for my nosy lovelies, this was one of the first inspirations for 'you're gonna go far' that i shared with noah. there was more to the messages than just this one between me and my mum obvi but this is where this part of the chorus 'we ain't angry at you love, you're the greatest thing we've lost' comes from as does the rest of that entire verse💌. caption 2: then this is some of the other inspo for yggf comes from. it was more than just this convo but obviously this was where the title of the song and the main hook comes from. and yes, i did joke to dad that one day these messages between me, himself & mum would be written into a song one day lol💌.]

landonorris replied to y.nhorner's story omg i cannot stop listening to the song! it's gorgeous and yes before you even ASK it made me cry! i don't want you to leave for college in hawaii!!!

y.nhorner aw lando, i'm sorry! i really was hoping it wouldn't make you cry! and i know and i'm sorry but it's my dream college but i was still just as shocked as everyone else when they accepted me!

landonorris i can still visit you though when you are at college right?

y.nhorner of course you can lando! dad has allowed all of the grid, if they please, to visit me whenever they want with permission from the other team principals!

carlossainz55 replied to y.nhorner's story the song is making me cry so much more now that i know it's context in relation to these messages! please don't leave meee, my heart is forever broken now!

y.nhorner i'm so sorry carlos, i hope you're not crying as much as lando is! and i don't wanna leave either but i have too!

carlossainz55 of course i'm not crying as much as lando is! but i'm still upset, don't have too much fun without us!

y.nhorner aw carlos! i promise you, you will get to visit and i won't be able to have any fun cause you guys won't be there with me!

maxverstappen1 replied to y.nhorner's story whilst i wish i didn't hear the song and these messages before everyone else i'm glad i did because no one could see my tears but now you releasing the text messages are even worse because they'll all know and i'll be exposed!

y.nhorner i'm sorry maxie! but noah suggested it since he was sharing messages between him and i to his socials so i decided it would be a cute backstory to share with everyone! but trust, no one will know that you were the first one to hear the song and to see the messages!

maxverstappen1 i'm totally messing but genuinely, i am so proud of you and this song that you've created and released with noah. it's beautiful and it's truly gonna be very relatable to everyone who hears it. as much as i wish this song wasn't written because of you moving to america for the next few years for college, i am so thankful it was and i am so glad i got to be privileged enough to know about it first. you're gonna go far, y.n and i cannot wait to see how far you actually go, whether that's here in england or in america. i love you endlessly, and thank you for being my best friend during my time under your dad's realm of red bull racing 💌

y.nhorner oh, maxie! that is so sweet of you and now i'm gonna start crying! i'm absolutely scared to move to america for college but i truly believe i'm going to do great things. as much as it scares me, i know that i'll always have you and the rest of the grid supporting me every step of the way. dad and the rest of the tp's giving you guys permission to visit me whenever you feel like you need to! i love you just as endlessly and i won't accept your thank you for being your best friend because there is nothing at all you need to thank me for since it's also been an honour to have you as my best friend💌

logansargeant has replied to y.nhorner's story this is so sweet y.n! the song is beautiful and might have made me a little teary eyed especially knowing why you created the song. also, what made you choose america as a place to study? i know i'm always so patriotic but, why the u.s?

y.nhorner aw, thank you logie! and honestly, i chose america because i've been all around the world but the one place i felt safest was hawaii. and i just knew i had to try my luck and see if i could apply and have it work and it did! but don't worry, like i've told carlos, lando, max and now you, your tp's have all given you guys permission to come and visit me whenever you feel like you need to!

logansargeant that's cute and i'm glad you felt safe enough in hawaii because i know that not everywhere in america is especially safe! and also congrats for even getting into college in hawaii as i've heard it's usually quite hard! and, i'm so glad you've mentioned we can visit you because you best believe i'll be the one helping you move into your dorm room!

y.nhorner you're so sweet logie and i'm glad as well otherwise if i didn't feel safe in hawaii, queensland australia would have been my second choice! and ikr, i was godsmacked that they had approved of my application for hawaii pacific in honolulu! and i'll hold you too that logie, now that you've said it, you will be helping me move into the dorm!

oscarpiastri has replied to y.nhorner's story i'm so proud of you y.n! and these messages are heartbreaking but also so sweet and tender! i know logan's already mentioned it probably but now that you've gotten into hawaii pacific, him and i are helping you move into your dorms because i know for a fact that all the team principals have given us permission to visit you when we need it!

y.nhorner aw oscy, you are so cute and took everything i was gonna tell you out of my mouth! and thank you and yes, logan has put it out into the universe that he is gonna help me move in but didn't mention you but i'm sure he meant to!

oscarpiastri he didn't mention me??? now i'm gonna cry more

y.nhorner no, he didn't oscy but it's fine cause it's been mentioned now and i'm very thankful that the two of you are gonna help me! so please don't cry more!

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y.nhorner has posted to her instagram story

[caption 1: look at these two little lovelies (+ kelly) who wanted to see me off before their flight back to monaco and before my flight to hawaii! miss you guys already💌. caption 2: charles keeping me company but not even looking at me for the photo at the airport sitting on my very huge suitcase before he sees me off to hawaii 💌. caption 3: and yes, lando was there to see me off alongside charles as was carlos and like charles, lando was not looking at me for the photo either. and. fyi, carlos hid himself magnificently every single time he saw my iphone come out of my pocket lol so sadly there is no photo of him this time. miss you guys so much it's actually insane but i promise i'll see you all soon💌]

maxverstappen1 has replied to y.nhorner's story i hope you know that as soon as penelope and i both got onto my private jet back to monaco that we both burst into tears, poor kelly didn't know how to react! leaving you to go to hawaii for four years is devastating me!

y.nhorner aw, maxie! i miss you, kelly and p insanely! but i do promise you'll see me soon!

maxverstappen1 have fun and stay safe!

y.nhorner i will, i promise! both mum and dad have said the same speech as you!

maxverstappen1 i wasn't going to give you the same speech but i'm glad you understand!

charlesleclerc has replied to y.nhorner's story the only reason why i never looked up at you during every photo you took of me was because i knew that if i made eye contact with you, i would have legitmately started crying and i wanted to be out of the airport and inside my car before my eyes even started to feel as though they were tearing up!

y.nhorner awe charlie, i'm sorry i was making you cry! i miss you as well but did you cry in the car after you guys waved me off onto the plane?

charlesleclerc it's fine n.n, it wasn't your fault, i was gonna cry regardless and i'm just proud that it didn't happen in the airport or when you were around! and yes, i did cry in the car, the entire way home to the point that carlos was scared i was gonna crash the car with me, him and lando in it sooo yeah.

y.nhorner omg charlie, who wasn't crying in that car on the way home from the airport cause there is no way you weren't the only one!

charlesleclerc at individual points, it was all of us but by the time we reached the car to go back home it was just me that was still crying so it was carlos that took over after he asked me to pull over on the side of the road

landonorris has replied to y.nhorner's story and yes, i did cry the minute you left me, carlos and charles! charles and carlos also crying but i'm sure you knew that cause i'm sure both charles and carlos has already told you that too!

y.nhorner i love you lando and i am so sorry that i made all of you guys cry (max and penelope included) but i promise the tears won't last too long!

landonorris THE TEARS WON'T LAST TOO LONG?? FOUR YEARS IS TOO FUCKING LONG N.N!

y.nhorner is it still too early to say that it's too much for little lando norris then?

landonorris YES IT IS AND NOW I'M CRYING AGAIN BECAUSE IT IS TOO MUCH FOR LITTLE LANDO NORRIS!

carlossainz55 has replied to y.nhorner's story how dare you expose me for not wanting to be in any photos whilst i was actively GRIEVING THE LOSS OF YOU FOR THE NEXT FOUR YEARS! my heart was shattered, and there was no way i was letting you take photos of it happening!

y.nhorner how many times do you need me to say sorry carlitos?

carlossainz55 you don't need to apologise anymore n.n but next time, please don't take photos of your best friends saying goodbye to you...nah joking, next time i'll make sure i cry before i've even left you for the second time and force you to take photos lol

y.nhorner ok, i'll note that for next time carlitos hahaha! but srsly, charles and lando have both mentioned that all of you were crying at one stage before you and lando calmed down except for charles to the point he started crying whilst driving you guys home and you had to ask him to pull over...yeah, i am so sorry for being the cause of that!

carlossainz55 yeah, it was intense and a very upsetting moment for all to witness. for sure do not let charles drive when he's crying though cause it is utterly terrifying and i thought i was gonna die so i started praying in spanish! even when i was the one behind the wheel because charles did take the entire drive for him to stop crying!

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y.nhorner the chronicals of me leaving mumma and daddio and moving into my new college dorm at hawaii pacific university for the next four years alongside the wonderful help of logie sarg and oscy pastry!!

📸 of mum and dad on the train taken by logan with oscar's supervision as they took the tube in together to the airport and 📸 of me taken by carlos who alongside max, lando and charles were at the airport as well to see me off with logan and oscar!

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christianhorner miss you already my love! i know logan and oscar are keeping you safe and helping you sort out your dorm! liked by y.nhorner

y.nhorner christianhorner i miss you too daddio and they are keeping me so safe and helping me out tremendously which i am so grateful for!

gerihalliwellhorner miss you baby! please tell oscar and logan we say thank you for helping you move into your dorm room!! liked by y.nhorner

y.nhorner gerihalliwellhorner i miss you too mumma! and i have thanked them both and they don't want any thanks for it. they're doing it because they want to! they didn't come to hawaii with me for no reason

maxverstappen1 why is my heart literally breaking even though i already knew you had left and i was with you guys at the airport for me, kelly and p's own flight back to monaco??? liked by y.nhorner

y.nhorner maxverstappen1 i'm sorry maxie, i knew today would be hard! does it make you feel better if i say that my heart is also breaking?

landonorris i'm actually so uspet about this and i have no clue why! liked by y.nhorner

y.nhorner landonorris so am i lando but don't worry, you can visit soon i promise!

noahkahan omg, you've actually moved to hawaii now? i didn't realise it was happening so soon! liked by y.nhorner

y.nhorner noahkahan yeah! it's insane noah at how fast it's all happened but yeah, hawaii's my new home for four years!

oscarpiastri honestly, your dormroom looks magnificant right now. who knew logan and i were such great dorm decor artists? liked by y.nhorner

y.nhorner oscarpiastri i know right, oscy? it looks perfect and i am so thankful for you and logie for helping me ease into it all!

logansargeant i think the three of us did an amazing job with your dormroom, y.n! liked by y.nhorner

y.nhorner logansargeant we really did! thank you so much logie

carlossainz55 my heart is breaking into too many pieces all these hours after we saw you off at the airport liked by y.nhorner

y.nhorner carlossainz55 mine is too, don't worry carlitos!

charlesleclerc this is too much for me! how will we survive?! liked by y.nhorner

y.nhorner charlesleclerc damn, i was hoping you'd have the answers cause this is too much for me as well and i don't know how i'll survive!

yourexbff you got into hawaii pacific in honolulu, usa and you never told me?!

y.nhorner yourexbff because i knew you would have reacted horribly and been a jerk about it, telling me to come back home because you can't handle not having the same control over me for college that you had during high school liked by yourbff, charlesleclerc, carlossainz55 and others

yourbff yourexbff y.nhorner honestly, that's some queen shit and i'm so proud of you y.n! well done on no longer tolerating this bitches shit after so many years of dealing with it liked by y.nhorner

username congrats on your move to hawaii! but i'm so sorry to ask such a stupid question but where is hawaii pacific uni? liked by y.nhorner

y.nhorner username thank you lovely! and don't apologise for asking me, i'm happy to answer any questions anyone has, 'stupid' or not! and hawaii pacific uni is in honolulu, hawaii💌!

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y.nhorner has posted to her instagram story

[caption 1: me crying on my insta stories is now going to become a regular thing btw! so do not be alarmed when these start to happen on the regular💌 caption 2: reason one why i'm crying: college is kicking my arse rn and i wanna kms! caption 3: reason two why i'm crying: i miss home and formula one and ofc my grid family and my actual family back home in england! anyway, how's your day been lovelies💌]

christianhorner has replied to y.nhorner's story oh honey, are you okay? has college really been getting you in the bum? really wish i could do more to help you bubs!

y.nhorner thanks daddio but i'll be fine i'm sure, i just needed to have a little cry! i'm just a little homesick and you're gonna go far playing in my spotify playlist whilst studying did not help me at all!

christianhorner as long as you're sure bubs and speaking of your new song, it's absolutely gorgeous, mum and i love it so much! not only do we play it all the time but it's also playing on the radio often when we're in bed so we fall asleep to it!

y.nhorner yeah, i'm sure dad! and that's so sweet, thank you so much! i'm glad you and mum love it! and i'm glad it's also getting played on the radio! well, i have to go back to studying and doing stuff in my sorority but i'll talk later, love you daddio!

christianhorner bye darling, talk later then! i love you too and have fun xx

yourbff has replied to y.nhorner's story heyy girly! sorry that school's royally kicking your bum, wish i could be there to help you! the grid is missing you terribly but i'm keeping them company and trying to lift their spirits! we've for sure been blasting every single song and album of yours, especially you and noah's newest! also have you heard anything from ex.bff lately?

y.nhorner hey girly pop! it's fine, i'm getting through it the same way i got through h.s and i wish you were here too but it's coming up so soon! i'm missing the grid so much more, i can't even express how much! and that's amazing, i'm glad you've been blasting all the songs, not just the new one because maybe, just maybe i'm gonna come out with a new announcement on my insta grid soon! and not that i've seen, she's most likely blocked me on every other social that i haven't, why?

yourbff that's so good, i'm glad! and i'm only asking about ex.bff because she's been asking some of the drivers, mostly max, lando, carlos, logan and oscar for some paddock passes for the grand prix that you're surprising them at just before summer break happens and she isn't taking no for an answer so maybe you or christian could tell her to fuck off but we'd need permission for you to let daddio horner to tell her to fuck off though...

y.nhorner oh, okay, that's gross and very fuckin weird! there is no way she is going to that grand prix period, paddock passes or not, at the gp that i'm surprising my family at, no fucking way! and go ahead, let daddio tell her to fuck off even though he realistically doesnt need my permission on how he treats and talks to her anymore because she is no longer my friend and doesn't need to be treated as such! dad can say whatever tf he wants to say to her!

yourbff thank fucking god! i'm with christian rn and he's been hanging for your response so, thank you thank you thank you! i could kiss you on the mouth rn if you weren't in hawaii! and wait, did you just say that you were going to announce a new release soon???

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y.nhorner i'm so sorry for my social media absence my lovelies except for a few instagram stories here and there but college was kicking me in the rear end real good and i also may have finished my very first album in my first year at american college in my newly redecorated dorm room at hpu that will be getting released worldwide tonight at five minutes to midnight...

for those wanting an album breakdown since it is my first ever one, i will do the full thing for the songs in a separate post. however, in short hand i will say that there are six originals (including me and noah's song) and four covers of my favourite songs from some of my very well loved artists! thank you so much for all the love and support you gave to me and noah about our single, it's been incredible stepping back and just seeing at how much you guys really love it, it's truly humbling and rewarding! but now saying that, it makes me even more proud to finally be able to release my first ever album because i have worked so hard on it and the reason it's come out so quickly it seems is because all six of my originals had already been written and drafted, i just needed to finish and record them which thankfully didn't take too long. also good to mention that whilst i did finish writing them in my dorm room, every song except for you're gonna go far was recorded in my dorm room! so the acoustics are no joke my lovelies! in saying all of that though, i hope you loves all enjoy my first album, 'little life' 💌

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yourbff so this is what you were talking to me about that day when you left me on read when i finally realised you had mentioned it because i was distracted in letting your dad go off on ex.bff? liked by y.nhorner

y.nhorner yourbff yes....please don't kill me i'm sorry!

christianhorner i'm so proud of you my darling girl! both me and your mum knew you could do it when we were telling you to continue on creating new music and writing new songs whilst at college! liked by y.nhorner

y.nhorner christianhorner thank you daddio! and yes, you and mumma were very much correct and i'm glad that you were!

gerihalliwellhorner well done my darling! you should be so proud of yourself for releasing your very first album! it's going to do well, i'm sure of it! liked by y.nhorner

y.nhorner gerihalliwellhorner thank you mumma! and i am, i'm really proud of myself for what i've done! and i'm glad someone thinks that it's gonna do well!

redbullracing after making all of us cry with you're gonna go far, we'll make sure to stock up on the tissues when it's released because you best believe it's going to be blasting for everyone to hear in the paddock at the next grand prix! liked by y.nhorner

y.nhorner redbullracing omg admin, are you ok? but, thanks i guess for the free promo though!

maxverstappen1 i'm literally standing in my bathroom in shock right now, y.n! how could you do this to me, to us?! you know we're not ready for this! liked by y.nhorner

y.nhorner maxverstappen1 i'm sorry maxie but i was too excited and i couldn't keep it a secret anymore! you know i hate keeping things from people!

landonorris well, there goes all my tears for the rest of the year and next year! liked by y.nhorner

y.nhorner landonorris even though i usually call you dramatic or sympathise with you, this time i'm gonna have to agree with you and say yes after hearing these songs your tear ducts will be dry for years!

oscarpiastri oh crapola! this was not the announcement i expected after getting the notification that you've finally posted again after awhile! liked by y.nhorner

y.nhorner oscarpiastri i know and i'm sorry oscy! but i won't ever be gone for this long again!

carlossainz55 hermana, are you seriously just gonna go away for ages and then hit us with this announcement and think all of us are going to survive? liked by y.nhorner

y.nhorner carlossainz55 yes and no? i'm sorry carlitos but i promise though that you'll love the album though!

sebastianvettel this is fantasic news bubs! i'm so proud of you and i cannot wait to hear this new album after loving your recent single with noah kahan! liked by y.nhorner

y.nhorner sebastianvettel sebby! i've missed you so much and thank you! i can't wait for you to hear it!

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y.nhorner 'little life' album breakdown in 3...2...1:

song one: 'little life' is the title track. it's a cover of cordelia's song 'little life' and like the hook and title suggests, i really do like this little life hence why i decided to cover that song, put it on my album as the top track and then title the album the same thing.

song two: 'you're gonna go far' ft noah kahan is the first single of this album and i have already mentioned briefly what this song is about. but, for those wondering the full story, it was basically a culmination of trashed songs that both me and noah wrote years ago but never came into fruition because it never worked out at the time. that was until we had our very first meeting and i told noah about me wanting to write a song about me leaving england for america for college and showing him the texts between me and my parents. it was funny though because unknowingly, we were both writing the same song that we just smooshed it into the one that we all know and love now! it's truly one of if not my favourite song on this album too, hence why it's the first single!

song three: 'lacy' is what i would call the fine line between envy and homoeroticism. in one lens of the camera, i'm embracing my inferiority complex by personifying the beauty of a girl i used to be intimidated by in school who's been named 'lacy'. i then succumbed to my habit of comparing myself to other women to an extent so extreme that it seemed like it was a crippling romantic obsession. thankfully though, this was when i was in the middle of high school and figuring out my sexuality and i did that by literally hating that specific girl in my class because i thought she was so much better, prettier and inferior to me. hence why the song was created but i do not feel that way anymore but i knew i needed this song on the album so i could also let people know that i'm not perfect and i also have the same thoughts as them.

song four: 'slipping through my fingers' is the second cover song on this album. for those who know me and know me well will know that 'mamma mia' & abba are some of my favourite movies and singing group to ever exist! i could have chosen any abba/mamma mia song but this was the one i chose because it really fit the theme of me leaving home and moving out of the country permanently for college. and also because it was a movie i'd watch with my mum geri when i was younger right up until my last couple years of high school and before i left for hawaii. i also cried my eyes out whilst recording the song in my dorm because that was the night that i was the most homesick i had ever been and when i posted those three stories on my instagram story sharing my first ever cry online since leaving for hawaii.

song five: 'never grow up' is the third cover song on this album. another artist that i absolutely adore with my whole life is taylor swift. and similar to slipping through my fingers, the reason why i added never grow up to this album was because it was the same song to stmf but through a different lense almost. i remember when i was younger, always telling my parents that i always couldn't wait to grow up and get older whereas they were always telling me to slow down and let myself be that young for as long as i could and stay that age and not worry about wanting to be another year older. and now, looking back, especially when i recorded this song for this album, i really wish i listened to my parents when they told me to slow down and never grow up. because now it feels like it's going by so quickly that it can no longer slow down and i hate it but i also have to embrace it because i can't get any younger, i can only get older but that doesn't mean i can't pretend and wish to never grow up.

song six: 'what was i made for?' is the last cover on this album and it's by the beautiful billie eilish. obviously, we all know that this song was part of the new barbie movie soundtrack and as soon as i heard it for the first time, i knew i had to include it into my first album and here we are! similar to the other cover songs, this resonates with me because there are moments in my life, especially recently, when i've been sitting in the dark, on my bed, in tears asking myself 'what was i made for?' 'what am i doing here?' 'why was i even born?' and i was tearing me apart because i was all alone on the other side of the worl away from everyone i love and i was scared to death! before moving to hawaii, i never had to think about the things i have to now because i was still living with/near my parents and, shyness and modesty out of the door, they provided everything for me so i never had to lift my pretty little fingers or feet for anything. they provided my food for me, they made sure i had clean clothes and a clean room, they made sure i was always entertained, they made sure i always had free things, free paddock passes to every grand prix that i wanted, when i wanted them. and then, the second i touched down in hawaii, i had no idea what to do and how to do it. i'm surprised the lovely girls that are my roommates and fellow sorority sisters didn't laugh at me or call me a spoilt brat because they knew who i was as soon as i walked into that sorority house. but what did they do? they taught me everything and they didn't make fun of me, they didn't laugh at me or put me down and tell me i had to do it myself. they realised that from the way i grew up, i wasn't being snobby or a brat whenever i didn't do something. they knew it was because i didn't know how to do it. so this cover is a nod to my lovelies at hpu and in my sorority that helped me find who i was again.

song seven: 'hope ur ok' was a song i actually wrote years ago when i first met a certain red bull driver, mr verstappen and other friends of mine around the same time. even though i've lost contact with most of the friends i have referenced in this song, this song gives them a reminder that nothing is as bad as it seems and i wish them well and reassure them of how proud of them i am and what they've become. this was another song that had me a little emotional because, fun fact, when i recorded this song, max decided to have a cheeky facetime so he watched as i bawled my eyes out to him, telling him that the first verse and the hook of this song was written about him before he sweetly told me it was okay to cry and that he'd love it if he could stay on facetime with me whilst i recorded it. and obviously, i can never say no to maxie so, he watched me and screen recorded the facetime whilst i recorded it and that recording made it into the album.

song eight: 'happier' is a song that whilst many would think is about an ex boyfriend is actually about an ex best friend. and we all know how painful a best friend breakup is however, this ex best friend was someone that was always what someone would call a frenemy. this girl was never actually my friend and it wasn't until just recently, at the beginning of my journey of college life in hawaii that i realised this and cut her off. even though i say in the song that 'she's moved on and found someone new' i mean it in the most pettiest way possible to the point that i hope that new friend she's made realises just how awful she is and leaves her in the same way i left her. this song is basically a best friend break-up song that has the disguise of a relationship break-up and i love just how petty i play it when i practise it live. the song is basically letting her know that i hope she's happier even though i know that she knows she could never be happier when all she spreads is negativity and plays pretend. hence why i ended the song with the lyric 'so find someone great, but don't find no one better. i hope you're happy, but don't be happier' because i was basically the best person she had in her life but she destroyed it because of her own selfishness of not allowing herself to stop being so rude, narcissistic and fake.

song nine: 'jealousy, jealousy' is a song about the unrealistic standards that society has set for young people, young women particularly on social media. in the track, i sing about the constant comparison and self-hatred that social media can often lead to. before i wrote this song, i released a snippet of an unreleased song with a similar theme which also discussed the warped version of reality that social media presents. this was another song that i wrote years ago during a time i was borderline addicted to being on social media and felt crippled by the comparisons i was recieving. thankfully though, i have recovered from this period in my life but it was still a song that i knew i needed to have on this album since i'm an awful liar and there was no way i'd feel proud of myself if i released an album, my first ever, and didn't let people know what was once happening within myself whilst growing up in front of the entire world whilst they were watching me at every formula one grand prix.

song ten: 'enough for you' is the last song on this album and this is another song about the same ex best friend that is mentioned in happier. all throughout high school, i worshipped this girl and looking back, it was depressing and heartbreaking because of how awful she was from the beginning and i never noticed. and then when i did start to notice it as i got older, i tried to do every little thing i could because, like the title of the song suggested, i just wanted to be enough for her. all i wanted was for her to like me and actually treat me like i was her best friend and not like i was the dirt on the back of her shoe which was the way she treated me. and then in my last year of high school, she started to realise that as it got closer to applying for universities within england and internationally and wouldn't be able to control me anymore like she could at school, she got even worse. her biggest thing was she needed to be in control all the time, every single day and when she wasn't and something didn't go her way, she'd take it out on me and the friend group. and it wasn't just verbally it was also physical. to the point i'd come home with bruises because of how many times throughout the last year of high school she'd lose control over me and the other friends.

song ten cont.: and then, i hit a breaking point and i cut all ties with her before our graduation. as it had now been announced, by me publically, as to where it was i was going to for college and that i was indeed moving to hawaii like speculated by those in the f1 world. she got real mad at that that she decided to publically comment and ask me, as though we were still buddy-buddy, as to why i didn't tell her that i was going to hawaii pacific. and i told her, straight up, as many people saw, liked and replied to, that i knew she'd react horribly, been a jerk and tell me to come back home. with the reasoning being that she can't handle not having the same control over me in college that she had during high school. like the song says in the end 'you say i'm never satisfied, but that's not me, it's you. cause all i ever wanted was to be enough but i don't think anything could ever be enough for you. enough for you, oh. no, nothing's enough for you' and it's true because nothing could ever be enough for her no matter how hard you try you can never be enough for her and that's fine with me because i don't want to be enough for her because i don't need to be anymore and quite frankly, that is more than okay. i just hope that she's enough for herself because once she figures that out, i think she'll realise just how awful she is as a human being and maybe think about changing the way she views everyone around her instead of just making everything about her above everyone else.

so, that is the album breakdown of my debut album 'little life'. i really hope you guys enjoy this album because it has been a pleasure to write this and to be able to finally share it with you all! also, comment down below which track number/song title you are claiming (i claim five, six, two and ten btw) 💌

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maxverstappen1 this is an amazing album breakdown and i cannot wait to finally hear it when it's released here in monaco! i claim five, six, seven, two and ten!

y.nhorner maxverstappen1 thank you maxie and good choices of track claiming but just so you know, you guys on the grid can claim the whole album ;)

noahkahan this is such a good tracklist and an amazing album breakdown! i am so incredibly proud of you for your debut album release! and tracks two & four are mine to claim!

y.nhorner noahkahan thank you noah! you know i couldn't have done it without you and, classic choices!

taylorswift omg i am so proud of you, y.n and thank you for covering 'never grow up' so of course that is the track i claim but i also claim track two!

y.nhorner taylorswift thank you so much tay! i love you so much and good choices

logansargeant this is an amazing feat, n.n and i cannot wait to hear this when it comes out! and can i cheekily claim the entire album???

y.nhorner logansargeant thank you logie and of course you can claim the whole album, the entire grid can!

charlesleclerc bursting with pride for you mon ange! and every single track is mine thank you ma'am!

y.nhorner charlesleclerc thank you cha-cha! and yes, every single track is yours mon ange!

landonorris can i claim the entire album under the act of proudest best friend ever?!

y.nhorner landonorris yes you can lando hehe

christianhorner proudest dad ever! i have to claim slipping through my fingers and never grow up of course!

y.nhorner christianhorner thank you daddio and of course, what great songs to claim!

˚ ༘✿ ⋆｡˚💐⋆˚

y.nhorner has posted to her instagram story

[caption 1: wait, where am i going lovelies🛫💌. caption 2: where's my redbull at babes? caption 3: home sweet home all way in japan with daddio and a max, lando and oscar 1,2,3💌]

landonorris has replied to y.nhorner's story i still cannot believe you surprised us like that!

y.nhorner was it a good surprise at least?

landonorris abso-fucking-lutely, y.n! that was probably why max, oscar and i were on the podium, we had our lucky charm!

y.nhorner aw, i love you sm lando! glad this made you all happy!

maxverstappen1 has replied to y.nhorner's story welcome back little shit! that was so sneaky of you!

y.nhorner hehe, it really was sneaky but i'm glad i got to see win another grand prix, maxie! it felt so much better being there live then watching it on my tv in my dorm room with the girls in the sorority house

maxverstappen1 do you know when you have to go back if i have to bring it back down a sec?

y.nhorner not until after last race of the season, there is no way i'm missing out on you getting your fourth consecutive championship! the one year i could potentially miss it will not be happening! can't break the winning streak now maxie!

oscarpiastri has replied to y.nhorner's story well this was a nice surprise to see after getting a podium in japan!

y.nhorner glad to hear you appreciated it oscy! i am truly fighting jet lag though right now that all the adrenaline has left my body from the race so i think i might go to sleep soon

oscarpiastri if you're tired n.n, you don't have to keep responding, you can fall asleep sweets! i won't be mad and i'm sure the other drivers that you haven't responded to yet won't get mad and they'll understand

y.nhorner thanks oscy...goodnight 💌

fin

wowza, that took way longer than i thought it would to write but i am so proud of myself because this truly came out of nowhere! also i do apologise if anything is incorrect like i know that the podium photo was from a couple years ago but pretend it's from this year lol. and i know i copied some of the album breakdowns from olivia's legitimate genius page because it made sense to do so! if you guys want a part two, i'm sure i can do that since i really did love writing this and would love to if i can find more ideas for this to make it into a little mini series!

#formula one #fluff #angsty #comfort #f1 grid x platonic fem!horner reader #you're gonna go far

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