#goodreads list

[deadpanwalking]

Could you give us 5 books to read after you’re 30? All anyone online wants to talk about are the books to read before.

Do not answer this, but whoooo the fuck is talking about books that way? What's the meaningful difference between the shit you can read at 28 and the shit you can read at 32? Man, it reeks of Reese Witherspoon's book club, I cannot sanction this buffoonery. Anyway, here goes:

Book That You Never Got Around To Reading by That Author You Enjoy

Favorite Author's Favorite Book by Your Favorite Author's Favorite Author

Book of Collected Short Stories by Author of That One Short Story From English Class That Changed Your Whole Shit in High School

Book That Looks Good by Author You've Never Heard Of

Book You Are Intimidated By by Author Who Had No Vested Interest in Your Self-Esteem When They Wrote It

[teaandspite]

The Great Goodreads Diss List (Part 1)

Context: For many years now, I have been collecting funny lines from Goodreads reviews to share with my coworkers. (I do collection development, reader's advisory, and weeding at a public library, so I read a LOT of reviews)

Are some of these, perhaps, rather mean? Yes, but they are also very funny, and come from a place of honest frustration. In the tradition of Bargepole threads and lists everywhere, names and titles have been censored.

"First, I want to say that I understand how hard it is to write a book and how amazing it is when it is actually published. Congrats to the author for that accomplishment. That said--"

"Warning: This review will be lengthy due to pure hatred."

"I found myself feeling really, really annoyed with the world that this book is allowed to exist. We live in a universe where the passenger pigeon is extinct but this book goes along merrily being read by unsuspecting lovers of words and ideas and stories? It just seems like too much, you know?"

"Don't do it. Don't spring the cash for the hardcover. Instead, eat an entire bag of Twizzlers, spend some money you don't have at a high-end department store, look up on Facebook the shady college boyfriend that made you cry, research the current value of your home or 401K and then read all about how the big hedge fund managers are faring during the economic crisis. You'll feel about the same stomach pain if you waste your time reading this book."

"This wretched novel begins with the mugging of an old lady and it appears I may be in the process of repeating that loathsome crime as [author] was 78 when she wrote it. It is not nice to put the boot into such a poor defenseless old creature lying there with only a damehood, a Booker Prize and a few million quid. It’s a nasty job but somebody has to do it."

"I think this is the way dead people would write, if they could."

"I am considering setting up SPABB: Society for the Protection of Accurate Book Blurb. This blurb appears to have been written by someone from the publishers who met [the author] the night before, got very drunk, lost his notes and then constructed something in a fug of hangover the next morning."

"I congratulate [the author] on the early half of his book, which was thoroughly fun and made me laugh and think. I congratulate [the author] on the second half of his book, for finishing it. It reads like that was difficult."

"…a woman whose taste in contemporary literature has roughly the same batting average as a pitcher in the National League."

"The author is a pompous windbag."

"Recommends it for: No one. Recommended to me by: A friend who apparently wished to cause me great suffering."

"Makes me wonder: is it possible to obtain similes at a volume discount?"

"The repeated phrases made me want to mail a thesaurus to the author."

"I'm disappointed in myself for finishing this book."

"if the author described [character's] eyes as "obsidian" one more time I was tempted to write her and ask if her thesaurus broke."

"They say that an infinite number of monkeys with an infinite number of typewriters would, if given infinite time, eventually produce the complete works of William Shakespeare. [This book], on the other hand, would probably take the average monkey just under two hours."

"I can't imagine what the author had to do to get this nadir of Western literature printed on innocent trees, but he does seem to know a LOT about being well-connected in New York."

"This book is so bad it is almost worth reading just to make you appreciate the other books you are reading."

"Reads like it was written by a brilliant author, the night before it was due."

"raises interesting questions, like: can a book be so bad as to constitute an act of terrorism"

"has this author ever spoken to a human woman"

"This acorn has fallen so far from the tree that it can’t even see the forest."

"I’m guessing they are touted as ‘beach reads’ because no one will care if they get dropped into the ocean."

"This book begins with all the energy of a hand vacuum near the end of its battery life, and the pace doesn't quicken much from there."

"At least everybody’s eyes stayed the same color this time around.”

Part 2

[theambitiouswoman]

Book Recommendations 📚📒

Business and Leadership:

"Good to Great" by Jim Collins

"The Lean Startup" by Eric Ries

"Zero to One" by Peter Thiel

"Leaders Eat Last" by Simon Sinek

"Outliers: The Story of Success" by Malcolm Gladwell

Success and Personal Development:

"The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen R. Covey

"Mindset: The New Psychology of Success" by Carol S. Dweck

"Atomic Habits" by James Clear

"Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance" by Angela Duckworth

"The Power of Habit" by Charles Duhigg

Mental Health and Well-being:

"The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle

"Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy" by David D. Burns

"The Gifts of Imperfection" by Brené Brown

"The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook" by Edmund J. Bourne

"The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook" by Matthew McKay, Jeffrey C. Wood, and Jeffrey Brantley

Goal Setting and Achievement:

"Goals!: How to Get Everything You Want—Faster Than You Ever Thought Possible" by Brian Tracy

"The 12 Week Year" by Brian P. Moran and Michael Lennington

"Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us" by Daniel H. Pink

"The One Thing" by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan

"Smarter Faster Better" by Charles Duhigg

Relationships and Communication:

"How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie

"The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman

"Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High" by Al Switzler, Joseph Grenny, and Ron McMillan

"Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life" by Marshall B. Rosenberg

"Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus" by John Gray

Self-Help and Personal Growth:

"The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck" by Mark Manson

"Daring Greatly" by Brené Brown

"Awaken the Giant Within" by Tony Robbins

"The Miracle Morning" by Hal Elrod

"You Are a Badass" by Jen Sincero

Science and Popular Science:

"Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind" by Yuval Noah Harari

"The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks" by Rebecca Skloot

"Cosmos" by Carl Sagan

"A Short History of Nearly Everything" by Bill Bryson

"The Selfish Gene" by Richard Dawkins

Health and Nutrition:

"The China Study" by T. Colin Campbell and Thomas M. Campbell II

"In Defense of Food" by Michael Pollan

"Why We Sleep" by Matthew Walker

"Born to Run" by Christopher McDougall

"The Omnivore's Dilemma" by Michael Pollan

Fiction and Literature:

"To Kill a Mockingbird" by Harper Lee

"1984" by George Orwell

"The Great Gatsby" by F. Scott Fitzgerald

"The Catcher in the Rye" by J.D. Salinger

"Pride and Prejudice" by Jane Austen

[folklorespring]

Thought daughters, depressed and tired, burned out artists, all of you need to read "Intermezzo" by Mykhailo Kotsiubynsky. Short story about exhausted artist that reconnects with nature. Translated from Ukrainian.

Read for free here: https://medium.com/@loopyspacey/intermezzo-by-mykhailo-kotsiubynsky-translation-from-ukrainian-eb85f2cffa69

[syl-stormblessed]

low-star goodreads reviews of Harrow the Ninth are so funny. some people genuinely only read the book once and it shows

[kevinsdsy]

this lil thing the apple books app does is so sexc to me

[haveyoureadthistransbook]

Unfortunate mod update: There's a high probability that I will have to take a three to four week break starting this friday due to technical issues on my side (aka my laptop is breaking down and I'm hoping to get a new affordable one during my universities laptop sale, but that only starts in three weeks). We still have around 200 polls to go (10 still in queue), so I will be back and I really enjoy running this blog and seeing all your votes & replies. I might be able to borrow another laptop sometimes to queue some new polls here and there, but I can't promise the same frequency of polls as right now.

[rodrickheffeley]

I wish I had a mental illness that would make me complete my goodreads reading challenge of the year

[geryone]

could you share your list so far for poetry releases in 2024? ive been trying to keep up but im afraid i may have missed some

Hi!! It’s an incomplete list but here are some of the early 2024 pubs that I’m looking forward to:

[vanebookrecs]

My simple review on "The House in the Cerulean Sea" by TJ Klune. This story was so unique and I couldn't put it down. I'm excited for the second book coming out soon!

[wimbledon2008]

okay i know youre probably really busy so please dont feel obligated in any way to respond but ive seen a couple of your book recs and i was wondering if you could compile them in one post/add any other recs you have? also please give petrie a hug on my behalf ❤️

the only thing i'm busy with is consuming the entire western canon of m/m romance so it'd be my honor to provide you with some recs! of my 23/24 reads, here are my favorites, in no particular order:

whistling in the dark, invitation to the dance, and downtime by tamara allen

seven summer nights by harper fox

magician by k.l. noone

the will darling adventures by k.j. charles (read k.j. charles's entire oeuvre tbh)

we could be so good and two rogues make a right by cat sebastian

something wild and wonderful by anita kelly

the place between and cattle stop by kit oliver

box 1663 by alex sorel

the murder between us and the grave between us by tal bauer

salt magic, skin magic by lee welch

the uses of illicit art by wendy palmer

heated rivalry and the long game by rachel reid (would also recommend role model as the events of the book overlap with tlg)

the spear cuts through water by simon jimenez

death and the devil series by l.j. hayward

farview by kim fielding

happy reading! ❤️

[teaandspite]

The Great Goodreads Diss List (Part 2)

[part 1]

"I've read a few books where the authors should have quit while they were ahead. Occasionally that spot is after they've written down the title."

"As boring as watching my grandma knit"

"if I hear the word 'countless' used to describe what we were repeatedly told were exactly one million ships ever again, I think I'll find something to throw myself off."

"The only crime in this novel worth investigating is the one the author has committed against the English language."

"The breasts of every woman that appeared in this book were described."

"The best thing I can say about this book is that it's diverting. The worst thing I can say is not printable."

"This book could have been an email."

"Someone take the damned thesaurus away from [author]."

"This book is so bad that I literally joined Goodreads just so I could vent about it."

"Why does everybody keep falling for him? He has the emotional range of a potholder."

"as if a spavined mule was trying to do the tango to the music of Iron Maiden."

"too much wrapping and not enough content."

"Can I get a horror comic with real monsters and not a metaphorical one please."

"OH MY GOD WHEN WILL SOMEONE GET MURDERED ALREADY?"

"I did not read this I’m just a hater." 

"Sometimes, if it takes you 10 years to write a book, you just shouldn't." 

"I'd recommend vcr manuals over this."

"She actually wrote 'molten gaze'! Ack!"

"Those poor, tortured metaphors."

"This book only gets a star because the fact that I like words coincides with the fact that it contained words."

"I will proceed to chronicle my transition from literature enthusiast to broken shell of a woman"

"A shortbread tin Brigadoon piece of nonsense"

"It pains me to write this review, almost as much as it pained me to finish this book."

"'Empurpled' is a word that should never be used to describe genitalia. It should, however, be used to describe your prose."

"Well I mean, at least I'll have a new joke to tell my therapist this week."

[joemerl]

In my experience, that's usually code for "turns all the male characters into one-dimensional assholes to prop up the female lead (who might also be an asshole, but ignore that because #girlboss)."

[booksandwitchery]

List of books I’ve mentioned or reviewed on my blog

Here is the master list of books I’ve mentioned, with links to their pages. I will be keeping this list current and linked in my description.

*The ankh symbol [ ☥ ] indicates that this book is especially important to me and/or drastically changed my life

Secular/Science-Based/Skeptic-Friendly:

☥ Atheopaganism: An Earth-Honoring Path Rooted in Science by Mark Green

Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer

☥ Drawing Down the Moon by Margot Adler

☥ DIY Magic by Anthony Alvarado

How to Become a Witch by Julie Wilder

☥ Psychic Witch: A Metaphysical Guide to Meditation, Magick & Manifestation by Mat Auryn

Storytelling Alchemy by Renée Damoiselle

The Beginner Witch’s Guide to Grimoires by Julie Wilder

The Door to Witchcraft by Tonya A. Brown

The Enchanted Life: Unlocking the Magic of the Everyday by Sharon Blackie

The Witch of the Forest’s Guide to Natural Magick by Lindsay Squire

The Witch’s Guide to Manifestation by Mystic Dylan

☥ Witchcraft Therapy by Mandi Em

Wisdom, Psychology, Philosophy, Self-Growth, etc…

☥ The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

Non-Secular:

☥ Sane Occultism by Dion Fortune

Simply Wicca: A Beginner’s Guide to the Craft of the Wise by Lisa & Anton Stewart

☥ Wicca for Beginners by Thea Sabin

[non-conventionnel]

‘Light’

Oil on canvas by Anton Sammut