#grandmaster of demonic cooking

[eialyne]

Preorderes for the MDZS cookbook zine I'm in had pre-orders open this week! There's a fabulous slew of fic, art, and of course recipes in this collection, as well as some absolutely precious merch, and I can't wait until others get to see it all ^_^

I'll see if I can do up some preview images before the end of the ordering period, but my dish contributions include treats for good boys, treats for bad boys, and an utterly stupid pun that wouldn't leave my brain alone. - Shop - Zine Website - Zine Twitter - Zine Instagram

Interseted in the zine but don't have cash to burn? Just keep your eyes peeled on one of the socials listed above, as a digital copy will be available once all orders have been shipped out and delivered!

[bibbiosis]

RECENTLY FINISHED READING MDZS LIVE LAUGH LOVE WANGXIAN 😭🫶🫶

[ID in plain and alt text: digital painting of wei wuxian and lang wangji walking off into the distance in a field of flowers inspired by the last scene of the main story. wei wuxian is riding on little apple the spotted donkey with lan wangji walking beside them, their backs facing the viewer. End ID]

[sillygoofyqueer]

MDZS AU where both Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian are Fae from different courts (Winter and Summer, maybe? You know I love my symbolism((literally no-one knows that)). Maybe Wei Wuxian is taken into the Autumn court by the Jiangs, but he is of the Summer Court, which was maybe overthrown by humans), but they absolutely misidentify each other all the fucken time. Like, they both mistake the other for a human on numerous occasions, and it's just internal monologues of 'How the hell did a human get so far into our forests? Why hasn't it been eaten or attacked by any monsters? It looks arguably handsome - for a human, of course. Ugh, what is it even looking for?' and it's always like, super Fae related things. For instance, Wei Wuxian is sent into the territory of the Winter Court to retrieve this ancient Summer Court artefact from the ruins of the old palace of the Winter Court, and Lan Wangji bumps into him when he gets almost immediately lost, begrudgingly helping this human because he wants Wei Wuxian out, and Wei Wuxian is just like..huh, I didn't know that the Winter Court kept pet humans...

Neither of them have seen humans, by the way. They're relatively sheltered on that part - Lan Wangji because he doesn't care for humans or anything to do with them, and Wei Wuxian because...well, his court was overthrown by jealous humans. He's a Summer Court Fae, what would they do if they got their hands on him?? He's reckless, but not that reckless. So they see each other's unnaturally gorgeous features and just think that's the norm for all humanoid creatures - as well as the pointed ears, because the books don't mention anything about curved ears. The features that differentiate the different Courts are what make them think that the other is a human. Winter Court definitely hold more Lan features, with light coloured eyes and impossibly pale skin, their black hair the only way to pick them out in the snow of the Court. Maybe they even have white hair, who knows? Lan Wangji has been around Fae from the Spring and Autumn Court, which is why he assumes that Wei Wuxian is a human - he's never seen a Summer Court Fae, considering they're...all dead. Summer Court have darker skin tones, and darker eye colours (because people with brown eyes can handle looking at a lot more light than people with blue eyes and such), but it's been so long since anyone has seen a Summer Court Fae that it's hard to pick out any distinctive features aside from rumours and conflicting stories from the other Fae Courts' elders. The Autumn Court is quite possessive of the Summer Court Fae in their grasp, to the point where most people even within their Court have no idea Wei Wuxian even exists, let alone other Courts. So, Wei Wuxian has only seen Autumn Court Fae, meaning he just assumes Lan Wangji is a human because he doesn't recognise the Fae's features to be Autumn Court.

[lazycranberrydoodles]

a short fully colored lan wangji animatic from march of last year that i didn't post??? yes please! / feat. Death Couldn't Tear Us Apart by LVCRFT

[96crewlove]

I DID A THING

[blue-mood-blue]

Danmei Faves Meet Chopped: The Thought Experiment

(with the caveat that I have not read All The Danmei so actually this is “a limited selection of danmei faves” meet chopped) (also as of their official translations, no spoilers pls)

The Contestants:

1) Xie Lian

Pros: There is not one single thing that you could put into a basket that this man would be intimidated by. Not a single thing. He will cook anything that you hand to him, and be delighted to do so. You cannot phase him with unlikely ingredients or conflicting flavor profiles, he has risen above these concerns. He is smiling at everything he pulls out of the basket and probably scaring the other contestants in the process.

Cons: He might kill someone. Not on purpose. He will be out after round one, guaranteed, once the medics standing by in case of cuts intervene for a severe case of “all the judges are now poisoned.” Filming will probably have to stop so ambulances can be called. The crew generously allows him to take his leftovers with him.

2) Wei Wuxian

Pros: He is going to pack so much flavor in every bite! Every single bite! This man knows and embraces spice, and no one will be able to tell him that his meal is bland or underseasoned! Chili oil all over the damn plate!

Cons: The flavor is pain, he’s used every pepper the pantry has, and if he makes it to round two it’s only because of Xie Lian accidentally unleashing the horrors in round one.

3) Mo Ran

Pros: He’s a good cook! He makes a variety of dishes, and he’s gotten used to adjusting recipes for specific preferences. He’s well-traveled so it’s likely he’s encountered many ingredients and had practice in a variety of conditions, which is good experience to have in this competition. He’s been doing his best to be on his best behavior, but heaven help anyone who monopolizes the fryer.

Cons: Again - he’s been on his best behavior, but that’s really for one person who is not currently in the kitchen. He also only really cooks for one person, who has particular tastes.

4) Luo Binghe

Pros: Also a good cook! He, too, has a range of dishes he knows how to prepare, with years of practice going back (probably) as far as his adoption in his early childhood. He is well-traveled as well, with such exciting and… unique locales such as Hell Dimension (aka Endless Abyss) where he probably had to make… questionable culinary choices, so he probably won’t be thrown by whatever’s in the basket.

Cons: There’s a non-zero chance that there’s blood in the food.

(Of this particular line-up, I think it would come down to Mo Ran vs. Binghe for the dessert round, which will be a close call - they both have experience with desserts, I imagine, but I think Mo Ran might have a slight advantage considering Chu Wanning’s sweet tooth. He’s made a lot of sweets and more often. Also, can Binghe lean on a “protagonist halo” when Mo Ran is the protagonist of his own story?)

(Assuming the final round doesn’t devolve into chaos and sabotage, which… is very, very possible.)

The Non-Contestants:

Hua Cheng: Could he do well on chopped? Almost certainly. But why would he? He is here to cheer on gege.

Lan Wangji: Would probably actually do better than Wei Wuxian, if he cooks the meal to Wei Wuxian’s taste - I feel like he would be a little more sparing with the spice. Otherwise, his food is probably too bland for the judges.

Chu Wanning: He has one good dish, and it’s [redacted]. He could last a round but after that he’s probably out. He will do his best. He will not look like he is panicking (he is panicking).

Shen Qingqiu: A millennial who choked to death on bad food and rage. He probably has limited kitchen skills, but beyond the powers of having a microwave? Who knows.

Bonus Round:

Li Yu: He would try so hard. He would put every bit of skill he had on the table. He does not have any skill to put on the table. Do not put a fish in his basket, do not do this to him.

Mu Tianchi: Probably wouldn’t even compete. He’s going to steal Li Yu’s food from the judges. How dare they.

Chang Geng: He could probably do well in the competition, if he could be convinced to compete, but he probably couldn’t. He is smiling very politely at the producer, who is feeling a chill down their spine and backing away slowly.

Gu Yun: Do not let this man in the kitchen, he will cause problems on purpose.

[lucky-cat-13]

Wei Wuxian: Do you cook?

Nie Huaisang: I'm always cooking, like, emotionally.

[twistedappletree]

Screaming because I just had a random thought of older/sect leader Jin Ling inheriting Zidian from Jiang Cheng and using it in conjunction with his bow to shoot lightning arrows

I didn’t think the use of Zidian could get more chaotic than JC’s ‘whip-everyone-who-slightly-resembles-wei-wuxian’ rampage but now there’s the possibility of a future moody mistress JL running around with his bow literally air frying everyone and everything in his path and idk how to handle this mental imagery without going into cardiac arrest

[mrcformoso]

Extra number 5 of A Matter of Time, A Matter of Happiness has now been posted! It became a bit bigger than I expected it to, but I'm glad with how it turned out and the themes I managed to present!

Summary:

Lan Yuan had always been a strange child. He knows this.

Just as he had always known that, despite being a former Wen, he was the heir of the Gusu Lan Empire, the heir to everything his parents have built up to the point following their ascent into immortality.

But one day, his Baba announced that he was pregnant.

With his naming ceremony on the horizon, and the whispers about Yangguang-jun and Yueguang-jun having a legitimate heir on the way, Lan Yuan wasn’t so sure what his place in Gusu Lan was to be anymore.

In another story, several years ago, a coreless cultivator climbed the muddy steps of Yilling, hoping to achieve what “Yueguang-jun” did in another time, in another life.

Or: Wei Wuxian gets pregnant, Lan Yuan (soon to be Lan Sizhui) starts having a Mini Existential Crisis, and Jiang Wanyin attempts to reverse fate.

[eialyne]

I went ahead and hijacked the original six days left post because it previewed the fic written by @lomlaling which was written in tandem with one of my dishes! (Oops the title spoils what they are. Yes this is the stupid pun I alluded to in one of my prior posts :p)

- Shop - Zine Website - Zine Twitter - Zine Instagram

Interseted in the zine but don't have cash to burn? Just keep your eyes peeled on one of the socials listed above, as a digital copy will be available once all orders have been shipped out and delivered!

[anotherferalrat]

Guys.

Hear me out.

Yunmeng bros. Ragbros.

Am I cooking???

[sillygoofyqueer]

Mo Dao Zu Shi but instead of Lan Wangji saving Wei Wuxian after the Nightless City Massacre, the Jin Clan (specifically Jin Guangshan and Jin Guangyao) manage to snatch him up while he's still in a daze. They say that they killed him when he tried to struggle during imprisonment but, similarly to Wen Ning, they just pretended to kill him and got some random ashes to pretend to scatter. They kept him locked up in a dark place, trying to force him into evil demonic cultivation things (not knowing that he's secretly continuing his projects, hiding everything in the most batshit places ever, from in his shoes to braided into his hair). Cut to thirteen years later, and bro is back with a Vengeance, ready to break free and wreak havoc with his new and improved techniques.

[mdzs-incorrect-quotes]

Wei Wuxian: "You guys have 911 on speed-dial right?"

Jiang Cheng: "911 on speed-dial??"

Wei Wuxian: "You don't have the real ones on speed-dial? I be calling 911 and I'm like 'Hi 911, how are ya?'"

[wishthefish]

AU where famous chef Lan Wangji promotes Wei Wuxian's new restaurant claiming him to serve the best food he's ever tasted only for people to realize there's no flavor besides tongue-numbing spice after following Lan Wangji's recommendation

[fengshenjunlang]

I saw someone joked about,

Burial Mound F4

Wei Wuxian, Wen Qing, Wen Ning, Wen Yuan

LMAO! Can't help but imagine Wei Wuxian coming out and introduce cheekily,

"We are Burial Mound F4~"

My!! I really, really want to see these 4 people just there, chilling in Burial Mound!