#no i do not think my year old art stands on its own now BUT i was cooking with this concept and the coloring

[lazycranberrydoodles]

a short fully colored lan wangji animatic from march of last year that i didn't post??? yes please! / feat. Death Couldn't Tear Us Apart by LVCRFT

[seithr]

Randomly remembered the half-reason i call my oc-verse by the name it has while laying in bed. One-half of the reason i still knew, but I had forgotten what had truly, really cemented it jointly until now

(it was a song from my favourite band I haven't listened to in a while.)

(the song fit so well at the time, still does, that i needed to hold onto it for the main protagonists forever, by partially naming their story in reference.)

Does this explanation make any sense? Does anyone know why I'm tearing up remembering this. Aahh

[sadlynojellybeans]

Please, imagine a post-TOA scenario in which Apollo manages to become Co-Director of CHB.

He can now spend as much time as he wants with the kids. Better even, he can share his passions with them, unbury his teacher abilities (coughGodofKnowledgecough) and combine his desire to share what he loves with his desire to help the demigods improve their lives. I bet he would introduce new music, art and poetry courses. He would help with archery lessons, but he could also help with other things. He is over 4600 years old. That is a lot of time to get good at or at least knowledgeable about things, even if they are not strictly part of his domains. Furthermore, I think he would simply be delighted to listen to the kids share their own passions.

Apollo would ask Harley about his creations, starting a passionate rant that ends up with the both of them in the forges and Apollo maiming a piece of metal, because he might be the god of arts and crafts but metalworking is not his thing.

Apollo would hear by chance the kids from the Aphrodite cabin either complaining about fashion or gossiping with each other and would not be able to resist joining the conversation. I imagine him and the kids having "girls' night" kind of meetings where they put on make up, nail polish, try on different outfits and complain to their heart's content about the silliest things.

I imagine Apollo, theatre kid supreme, deciding there needs to be a theatre course in CHB, and butting heads with Dyonisus because "What do you mean you what to teach them theatre, theatre is MY domain!". I imagine Dyonisus finally agreeing to co-teach because like Hades he is leaving Apollo in charge of a theatre production. I imagine Dyonisus seeing Apollo teach the kids for the first time (because of course up until then D tried to stay as far away from the demigods) and being shook to the core by how much Apollo cares, by the passion and attention he puts in everything. By how close he let himself become to the mortals (so stupid, he of all gods should know how it ends, how it always ends, even when tragedy does not cross their paths but their life just makes its natural course).

I imagine someone suggesting a musical for the next production and Apollo literally lighting up because that is a fantastic idea, all the while Dyonisus complains he will not stand for it (but is secretely pleased to see his brother so incandescently happy, especially after the difficulties of the last few years).

I imagine Apollo, sooner or later, coming up with the idea of adding philosophy classes (because apparently that's also part of his domains) and he starts all of them with apparently inane questions ("what is the best shape for potato chips?) that then devolve into deep discussions about the meaning of beauty, individuality and life once he keeps pushing the kids to explain themselves and their opinions.

I imagine the Hermes kids realising that Apollo has a tendency towards starting tangents and making up a game of seeing how far they can make him stray from the original topic of the class without him noticing. Once Dyonisus happens to pass by and asks why the hell they are talking about the cut of women's dresses in the 1400s when they were supposed to be learning beginner guitar. Apollo just stares at his brother for a moment, completely baffled, then looks at the kids around him, down at the guitar in his hands, and you can hear the gears turning in his mind, trying to figure out what happened. Even after he figures out, he keeps falling for it, because they are asking, it wouldn't be fair not to answer, especially when it's such a simple little, question... Eventually someone (probably a child of Athena) is put in charge of keeping him on track, to the great displeasure of Cabin 11.

Just imagine all of this. He is happy. He is with the people he loves, doing what he loves.

Life is good.

[fallen-doll]

Craving

you awakened in a new body one day. made seemingly of porcelain, but deceptively sturdy and flexible. a body that does not ache or..feel? your beloved did this to you, a courtesy as she says.

"my lovely..that old body of yours was simply falling apart..the pain you must have experienced daily for so many years..." she trails off, deep in thought. she was right, and you know it. you were wheelchair bound by the end, because standing simply hurt too much. your bed while soft, did not help you any. "you said before, that you would give anything to not hurt anymore..so i learned how to do this for you. i learned the only way to take the hurt away, and keep you for myself still." you reflexively attempt to smile..but without a sense of feeling, you can't actually tell if you're doing it right. over time, you adjust to the new body. its unusual, but you find each day easier than the last. for a while, it really seems like everything is ok. you still have feelings, emotions, just no physical sensations. a mistake one day...you trip, your face slams into a table. it doesn't hurt. you stand up to see shards of yourself on the ground beneath you, but no blood or anything of the sort. you look to the mirror and see a large crack on your head, extending down through your left eye. "oh dear me..lets fix that hm?" your love says, as she hurries to you. it takes only moments, and you are pristine once more. too clean..far too clean. it feels wrong to you, and you know that now. the broken reflection you saw, felt correct. you miss being in pain. you miss hurting. being devoid of that horrible pleasure is something wonderful. or it should be? you find yourself craving it again. you begin to experiment on this body. you start small, allowing the imperfections to remain hidden. a stab to that pretty leg, hidden by your skirt. claw marks digging into that lovely torso, hidden by your blouse. none of it hurts, but..the damaged body looks correct to you, so you continue pushing the bounds until one day--- "darling? what are you doing!" she asks in a panic, as she arrives home earlier than expected only to see you trying to break your own arm off. you freeze. you can't summon the words to explain any of this..you feel a different kind of pain now. but it too is mended in moments by her soft, gentle voice. "i see..do you truly think you deserve this, my doll?" you look down, sunlight passes through your body, the numerous cracks you have made creating an odd sort of art with the light. do you think you deserve this?

[mugentakeda]

opinion on Iroh living in Ba Sing Se in the comics ? :3c *bats eyelashes at Iroh meta mutual*

personally I get the political reasoning for it (he very much was well known for participating violently in the war so it'd be a pretty awkward way to start peace talks and such) but like... as an Iroh + Zuko codependency truther... hmn...

though he DOES come to the FN later in the comics to help Zuko out so its like.. did you leave him because you were terrified of making things worse ? were you convinced he didn't need you anymore and so lumbered off to BSS in self-imposed exile certain that you'd be a burden to his personal growth ? or did he just underestimate the distance .. forgot Zuko wouldn't be able to hop on a Bison all the time to visit him... driving me Krazy.

honestly. i think a horrific combination of all of these could work simultaneously. like theres political merit but also iroh might also personally somehow think him being away from zuko will benefit zuko (as if zuko didnt miraculously managing to undo his lifetime of Bad Things in less than like. A year. entirely through various methods of suffering. things that would take grown men their whole life and then some to undo, if even that. And hes like 16 and now hes a monarch and hes gonna be busting his ass everyday for the rest of his life until hes too old to stand up straight). and that yeah hed also underestimate how much being a world away from zuko actually sucks

because something i lovee highlighting in my art of them is that iroh doesnt just love his nephew, he likes his nephew. hes fond of his nephews crankiness, the hovering, the theatrics, the shouting and stomping, the awkwardness and thoughtfulness. there are probably days where iroh just cant work up the typical jovial customer service and diplomacy energy and just broods in the jasmine dragon because he keeps accidentally brewing enough tea for two, cooking enough dinner for two, calling through the house for his nephew and then remembering hes stuck cooped in the caldera, having screaming matches with his councilmen over how to deal with shit iroh and his brother and their forefathers did to scar the world not even before lunch time.

so its like. a combo of the Grand Lotus in iroh who focuses on the political merit and worldly benefits of him being in bss, the shitty ill in the dome codependent Uncle iroh who mopes over not having his prickly ass barnacle of a nephew looming over his shoulder and glaring at people all the time, the Bad At Emotions And Communicating guy in iroh that gets so ashamed of what hes willing to put his own kid through for the sake of the world that he doesnt know if he even has the stomach to visit the caldera and look his nephew in the eye as he drowns under mountains of stress dealing with irohs baggage, etc etc.

and there are also probably things zuko doesnt know about and iroh isnt sure if hed ever have the strength to tell zuko about. at the beginning of zukos joke banishment, the white lotus had been like well if you do decide to take the throne once we figure out how to take down ozai youll need an heir and if your nephew is as good deep down as you claim then maybe mold him to align with us so when you step down he could at the very least be a puppet ruler so we can ensure he doesnt start another war. and then that plan just got adjusted slightly and expanded upon once the avatar wasnt a fairy tale anymore. it hurts worse now after they had reconciled before the comet because now zuko looks at him with a loving, trusting, praising look, despite how little iroh believes he really deserves it. and worst of all he doubts theres anything he could really do to convince zuko that he doesnt deserve that because iroh would bet anything that zuko genuinely thinks hed deserve it if iroh decided he didnt want anything to do with zuko.

hes like doing these weird gymnastics where he pushes these hoity toity white lotus beliefs onto zuko despite barely even abiding by them himself , and then also knowing he doesnt deserve the blind adoration zuko has been showering him in lately. its like iroh takes all his conflicting emotions and opinions, puts them in a blender, drinks it, and then throws it all back up. i doubt theres anyway to conclude his thought process in a paragraph or less basically.

like i know a lot of people agree leaving zuko for bss retirement era is stupid and i agree but also consider the angst potential and also the white lotus is stupid and iroh is stupid and zuko isnt stupid but he also thinks iroh hung the sun and stars so its more sad on his part than anything because he cant even escape getting the short end of the stick with IROH and doesnt even know it. and it will probably stay that way. Lol!!!!!

[mean-scarlet-deceiver]

Wilbert's Worst

Right, so I really was open to having my mind changed on The Worst One but nobody’s argument has budged me.

I was going to write a complete, balanced essay on The Worst W. Awdry Book, but I’m a) mired in the research phase (hey if anyone knows someone with an encyclopedic knowledge of Tom and Jerry hit me up, for real) and b) right now I wanna talk about the characters and their Beloved Dynamics instead. 

So I'm just gonna get this out of the way so I can post the poll and move on to answering fun asks and watching Tom and Jerry in peace. Behold: a salty and unbalanced review.

Wilbert’s biggest failure of a children’s storybook? 

Henry the Green Engine 

Ohhh… because of the, uh, ra —?

Because of the racism, yes!

Oh. You do know that since 1972 they’ve republished it without the n-slur? 

Good for them. Two things: 

1. I know it used to be there, I’m never able to read it without knowing it was there in the first edition.

2. I consistently try, when ranking the books, to consider them in the context in which they came out. Because of this, I don’t like using “things that happened later” (like a new character never being properly used again or whatever) against the book. This helps me evaluate the author’s successes and failures against what they were trying to achieve when they wrote it vs what I would most want (blorbo content). It helps me not bring to bear the whole weight of fanon and fandom on a text that should be able to stand or fall on its own. Tl;dr I try to read the books like a guy who picked it up in 1951, or whatever. 

And yeah, if I’d bought this when it came out it would have had the slur. I’m going to judge it accordingly. 

Look, racism is bad, no argument, but does that mean the book as a whole must be condemned? 

Yeah, I think the slur and the “aaaand suddenly, blackface! heeheehee” bullshit fuck over the entire book, game over. Go directly to jail, do not collect $200. 

The Railway Series is not a work of high art or deep thorny complex literature. The books are meant for children — small children, at that. Children small enough to get bedtime stories read to them. The main goal of each book (especially this early on — you do have to manage secondary priorities like “pleasing the long-time fanbase” the longer you go, but right now we’re only 6 books into the series) is to create a happy imaginary world to enhance childhoods and family lives… to impart to other parents and kids a similar cosy happiness to that the author and his own kids enjoyed when he was workshopping/drafting the stories for them. When we say “children’s book” we really do mean little’uns — these average 1.25 full-color illustrations per page!

And these books sold in large numbers. This means it’s a certainty that somewhere in 1951 there was a Black family who owned the whole series, who went out to the shops, whose kid was like “ooh! Henry gets a book, neat…,” who like everyone else enjoyed the wild ride of Henry’s inspection and coal and wreck and rebuild… only to get verbally spat on one page from the end. 

Real mood-killer there. Epic fail, as the cool kids used to say in my youth. 

All right, fine, cool kids never said that. Anyway, statistically speaking there was certainly even more than one family that got that experience. Not to mention the non-Black families who even in 1951 were like “... wtf? i’d smack my kid if they ever said a word like that around me, geez. no.” Just a lot of people who had the light the book was kindling in them snuffed out all at once. 

You can actually be totally racist and your book not commit creative suicide on the penultimate page! Awdry flubbed his job of 'bestselling books-for-six-year-olds' here. Creative failure. Unforced error. Automatic zero. 

But times were different then, you have to consider it in the context of the time. 

1951 U.K. was not the nadir of multiracial equality or Black power, but jfc. I can assure you that over 99% of children’s books published that year in the Anglosphere managed to not use the n-slur. 

All right, all right. That was bad. But this feels off-topic. If you had never known about what used to be “Henry’s Sneeze,” would you still rank the entire book as dead last in the Wilbert Awdry corpus? 

Not dead last, but it is not a strong book. “Coal” and “The Flying Kipper” are super-interesting as material for Henry, but after that the book kind of falls off a cliff; the intrigue drops dramatically. The railway incidents chosen to make stories of are all solid choices, but it was not only “Sneeze” where Awdry’s handling of the material feels clumsy and weird. (And I’m not even talking here of the “heehee blackface — ain’t i a stinker?” gag in “Sneeze.”) 

But… “The Flying Kipper”? C’mon. It’s a superb story and no book that contains it can be the absolute worst in the series. 

“TFK” remains easily the best single TVS episode ever – but a lot of that is down to Britt and David’s artistry and judgment. 

Don’t get me wrong, a full-on railway wreck makes interesting material. But I don’t think the book does nearly as much with it as it could (and I’m trying sooooo hard here to forget about the amazing TVS adaptation, as I think it REALLY shows Awdry up. Even so, the storytelling here is surprisingly tepid and low-stakes). I get that Awdry probably wanted to lean into the comic angle and not make Henry’s condition afterwards seem too grave, in order to ensure the material wasn’t too dark for his young audience? (*mutters* again, a level of tender consideration for his readers’ youth that went right out the window when it came to small Black kids, evidently coz he couldn’t imagine that they read) Understandable, laudable — but if he outright refuses* to make the wreck too dramatic or scary then, well, then the wreck isn’t real scary or dramatic. And it can’t save the rest of the book from its flaws. 

*For all I know it could have been the publishers who insisted that the wreck be made preschooler-safe, that’s possible (although it’s also consistent with Awdry’s brand of humor and his overall low degree of emotionalism in his writing). Either way, though, the end result book is what it is and it will be judged accordingly. 

In addition to not being as exciting as many remember... @trainsupessandhuntresses asked me once if I thought some of Awdry's stories were "mean-spirited." I had to assent vigorously. And a surprisingly high proportion of those "mean" moments are in Henry the Green Engine? For some reason? It’s not just the racism. Awdry was not in the game to give Henry a deserved happy ending, he’d wanted to kill him off (the fuck?) and when his publishers prevented him (I don’t say this often, especially since I love how salty the Awdrys get about their publishers, but this in case good job, publishers!!) he wrote “TFK” with the primary motivation of giving Henry a new engine basis. Any soft or hearty emotions we get out of the deal are a side-effect — the only emotion that was fueling Awdry as he wrote this was spite, spite and a weird resentment towards his poor, long-suffering, invaluable illustrator. (I don’t blame Awdry for being frustrated that the engine illustrations were continually inaccurate or confusing, but I do think it’s weird to read all this great Henry material knowing that it was written with such poor grace.) 

So his ‘happy Henry’ stuff feels perfunctory; his Percy interlude is just brutal (why did you have to drag Percy into Henry’s book purely to give him a fuck-up, a scolding, and a messy dunce cap?); Gordon’s savaging of Henry for being too happy after recovering from a near-death experience is such an incredibly low point for Gordon that it’s hard for me to accept it as canon (there’s being proud, boastful, and self-absorbed, and then there’s being the straight-up raccoon dumpster fire Gordon is in that scene). Oh, and I think “call the police [local constabulary, doesn’t bear firearms]” woulda probably a less reckless way of dealing with the rock-throwing youths than the sneeze of hot locomotive ashes, which of course the Fat Controller doesn’t like, that shit coulda been real dangerous! Mind, there are small rays of kindness throughout that do get me (the interactions between Henry and his crew feeling to me the least perfunctory and most heartfelt), but this is overall such a mean-spirited book. God. It starts off with such a gentle story (almost a non-story, if you’re in it purely for the “railway incidents” game and not character drama), but in short order the vibes just sorta suck. At least in other RWS books, when the vibes are off, they’re usually off near the beginning and then improve by the end. This one gets worse as it goes on. Oof. Don’t like that. 

Also, the last page is sooooo lame. I suspect the publisher strong-armed Awdry into writing most of it so that at least the slur wasn’t on the last page of the book... and if Awdry had any idea of how much he’d just empowered Henry and all his fans in this book he shouldn’t have found it hard to find 50 extra words to sum things up. As it was, he’s just filling space and running out the clock, lol. Lame wrap-up. Boring. As usual when it comes to every little thing about this book, Britt and David closed this up better (mind, their closer – “He had taught Gordon and silly boys a lesson, with a whistle and a sneeze” – also sucked. But at least it was blessedly short.)

Didn’t you once list HtGE on a list of your favorite Wilbert Awdry books? 

I did list it as one of the books that “at one time or another” have been my favorite in the series. Unfortunately in the case of HtGE, that was back when I really couldn’t read a story that I knew from the TVS without mentally substituting the adaptation into my brain as I read… largely overriding the actual text. Plus, everything I knew from TVS as a kid kind of automatically got a halo effect. Plus, I was super into Henry’s arc. 

The first time I read HtGE after calming down and actually reading all the books as books... massive disappointment. There is such a gap there between what I'd thought the book said (all our incredible fanon work overanalyzing and headcanoning Henry and building this beautiful fantasy arc about disability!) vs. what it actually said (limp and careless writing, mean vibes, airbrushed n-slur, bad aftertaste). 

I do think there is some stuff about the development of Awdry’s storytelling technique here that is interesting (again, Tom and Jerry superfans reading this, please shoot me a message!) but it doesn’t counteract everything else. 

At least we’re over the racism stuff? 

Nah, I’m not over it, actually. 

[xannador]

Have you considered going to Pillowfort?

Long answer down below:

I have been to the Sheezys, the Buzzlys, the Mastodons, etc. These platforms all saw a surge of new activity whenever big sites did something unpopular. But they always quickly died because of mismanagement or users going back to their old haunts due to lack of activity or digital Stockholm syndrome.

From what I have personally seen, a website that was purely created as an alternative to another has little chance of taking off. It it's going to work, it needs to be developed naturally and must fill a different niche. I mean look at Zuckerberg's Threads; died as fast as it blew up. Will Pillowford be any different?

The only alternative that I found with potential was the fediverse (mastodon) because of its decentralized nature. So people could make their own rules. If Jack Dorsey's new dating app Bluesky gets integrated into this system, it might have a chance. Although decentralized communities will be faced with unique challenges of their own (egos being one of the biggest, I think).

Trying to build a new platform right now might be a waste of time anyway because AI is going to completely reshape the Internet as we know it. This new technology is going to send shockwaves across the world akin to those caused by the invention of the Internet itself over 40 years ago. I'm sure most people here are aware of the damage it is doing to artists and writers. You have also likely seen the other insidious applications. Social media is being bombarded with a flood of fake war footage/other AI-generated disinformation. If you posted a video of your own voice online, criminals can feed it into an AI to replicate it and contact your bank in an attempt to get your financial info. You can make anyone who has recorded themselves say and do whatever you want. Children are using AI to make revenge porn of their classmates as a new form of bullying. Politicians are saying things they never said in their lives. Google searches are being poisoned by people who use AI to data scrape news sites to generate nonsensical articles and clickbait. Soon video evidence will no longer be used in court because we won't be able to tell real footage from deep fakes.

50% of the Internet's traffic is now bots. In some cases, websites and forums have been reduced to nothing more than different chatbots talking to each other, with no humans in sight.

I don't think we have to count on government intervention to solve this problem. The Western world could ban all AI tomorrow and other countries that are under no obligation to follow our laws or just don't care would continue to use it to poison the Internet. Pandora's box is open, and there's no closing it now.

Yet I cannot stand an Internet where I post a drawing or comic and the only interactions I get are from bots that are so convincing that I won't be able to tell the difference between them and real people anymore. When all that remains of art platforms are waterfalls of AI sludge where my work is drowned out by a virtually infinite amount of pictures that are generated in a fraction of a second. While I had to spend +40 hours for a visually inferior result.

If that is what I can expect to look forward to, I might as well delete what remains of my Internet presence today. I don't know what to do and I don't know where to go. This is a depressing post. I wish, after the countless hours I spent looking into this problem, I would be able to offer a solution.

All I know for sure is that artists should not remain on "Art/Creative" platforms that deliberately steal their work to feed it to their own AI or sell their data to companies that will. I left Artstation and DeviantArt for those reasons and I want to do the same with Tumblr. It's one thing when social media like Xitter, Tik Tok or Instagram do it, because I expect nothing less from the filth that runs those. But creative platforms have the obligation to, if not protect, at least not sell out their users.

But good luck convincing the entire collective of Tumblr, Artstation, and DeviantArt to leave. Especially when there is no good alternative. The Internet has never been more centralized into a handful of platforms, yet also never been more lonely and scattered. I miss the sense of community we artists used to have.

The truth is that there is nowhere left to run. Because everywhere is the same. You can try using Glaze or Nightshade to protect your work. But I don't know if I trust either of them. I don't trust anything that offers solutions that are 'too good to be true'. And even if take those preemptive measures, what is to stop the tech bros from updating their scrapers to work around Glaze and steal your work anyway? I will admit I don't entirely understand how the technology works so I don't know if this is a legitimate concern. But I'm just wondering if this is going to become some kind of digital arms race between tech bros and artists? Because that is a battle where the artists lose.

[gigidragonbbxxx]

a personal struggle + an education

this is all just gigi's opinions + thoughts

Reader, I'm struggling with empathy right now.

Don't worry, I'm not suffering from a personality pathology, I promise I am quite sympathetic and empathetic. It's just battling the feeling of wanting to be kind but also seeing a major problem and knowing I need to get it off my chest.

Let me give it to yall straight (with tweaked/paraphrased details to protect privacy and not to out anyone):

I saw a favorite loass coach/twt account/subliminal creator make fun of an "old timey" English sentence either from Neville Goddard or Edward Art. They proceeded to say that they "hate" it and "why can't they just say it simpler". and then someone else commented "they're talking bullshit fr".

The convo thread on twt devolved into an echo chamber that essentially boiled down to the old fool's adage "If I don't understand it, it must be stupid and not worth it."

This really triggered me because

The phrase quoted was not that hard to understand.

It was clear these women were not educated

Why am I judging or mad at people for their ignorance? (this is why I kept quiet on twt and went here to vent. I acknowledge that two things can be true, I can be kind and still be honest.)

I was and currently am still wrestling with these things within me.

On one hand I don't want to judge. I want to be inclusive and welcoming and supportive.

On the other hand - yall don't look educated, yall wind up looking dumb.

I'll say a harsh truth yall and you can go argue with a damn wall but I know I'm right: stupidity is not cute.

My Hot Take (not so hot when you think about it)

The Law of Assumption rewards those who feed their mind with knowledge

Before you argue with me, think about it. Seriously.

I don't want to seem ableist if someone suffers from dyslexia or if someone struggles in school. It's totally okay to have different paths to learning. The importance is still obtaining the information. You can read or listen to the audiobook, etc. The paths to knowledge are varied but in the end the result is the same - THE KNOWING.

The "old timey" sentence that the creator complained about COULD BE READ BY NINTH GRADERS BECAUSE OF SHAKESPEARE EXPOSURE.

That's why I was exasperated. They were complaining about English (the only language in which they are fluent) that is regularly taught to 14 year olds.

Guys. Stand up. Please stand the fuck up.

Who in this world is gonna take you seriously without BASIC COMPETENCY in literature or math?

Lemme roast some of yall if you want to disagree:

Yall wanna be master manifesters and claim to understand the double slit experiment but can't even name the fundamental laws of science or explain them.

Yall wanna be successful in your businesses and don't know how to calculate your profits.

Yall wanna be seen as intellectuals who "understand" more than the majority of the population and yall can't even fucking read Descartes or Shakespeare.

Yall wanna be content creators and don't know how to proofread.

One time I bought an affirmation tape that came with a pdf with all the affirmations listed. The tape itself was excellent but the pdf was riddled with errors! It makes me sad because something that can help change your life, like a sleep tape to saturate, "cheapens" in its authenticity at the price of minor errors. Sigh.

Let me tell you that 100% you can be successful in this world just by going to the end and claiming it.

BUT YOU LOSE A LOT OF TREASURE BY NOT GIVING YOURSELF THE TOOLS TO DIG FOR IT.

THERE IS SO MUCH FOUNDATIONAL INFORMATION WITHIN THESE "OLD TIMEY" TEXTS.

and if you don't like any of it and just wanna watch sammy ingram and manifest like that THEN GO AHEAD BUT DONT CLAIM TO NOT UNDERSTAND A SENTENCE AND THEN CALL IT BULLSHIT.

just be honest and own it!

be honest that you don't wanna read, that you don't wanna be academic and that's 100% okay and you're still beautiful and worth everything but

do not put down the value of what is being said just because you don't understand it

That's why I am frustrated, reader.

I am educated enough to recognize when someone's ignorance is just that - ignorance.

But I am human enough to be annoyed.

So please give yourselves some grace and take the time to appreciate knowledge. Without the knowledge of the law of assumption, we wouldn't all be here interacting with one another.

xx, gigi

p.s. for those of you who are more familiar with reading the Bible via the law of assumption lens - I beg you to think of Solomon. He was asked by God what he would like and Solomon chose wisdom over material things. Why is that? Because through wisdom comes the ability to know how to obtain all one's desires. Food for thought.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Jamil, Idia: Desires so Deep

Ignore me getting a late start on this new birthday series 💀 (Got busy with irl stuff!!)

Oddly enough, the vignettes don’t mention Jamil’s birthday at all; they’re at the National Art Museum in the Land of Dawning to celebrate its 100th anniversary. It seems this new series (Platinum Jacket) will have vignettes with more focus on how the boys relate to and what they think about important historical figures in Twisted Wonderland!

… Also, the fact that the book 7 part 5 update came out a few days before Jamil’s birthday… and then his vignettes go and show a Maleficent painting in them… Yeah 😭 but what’s even funnier to me is that Idia calls Jamil a chuunibyou WHich iS SO ACCURATE, THANK YoU fOR CALLinG HIS ASS OuT, KING 🙏 What is Jamil doing in that sussy Groovy if not being a chunni…

A Tale as Old as Time.

Contained within a shining platinum frame was an illustration of a starry scene. A man in a fine white turban crowned by a single violet plume. A woman, perched on a balcony, in a refreshing blue-green, a jasmine flower set into her long, dark braid.

They stared longingly into each other’s eyes, conveying an emotion not spoken aloud. No words were needed for what they had: a love so tender it made the night weep. The stars into glittering tears sliding down the face of darkness.

Standing before the painting of the happy couple, Jamil folded his arms and frowned.

… Can feelings truly defy social status?

"A street rat marrying a princess… Hah."

His fingers curled to fists, digging into the pristine white fabric of his suit. Jamil's expression remained neutral, no hint of the bitterness brewing within. He was a master of leashing it.

What nonsense. I doubt their happiness lasted long. The difference in their standing is far too vast to be bridged.

Jamil lowered his gaze and looked away.

Adjacent to the loving pair was a spindly man with a curled goatee. His crimson and black headdress resembled the flared hood of a desert viper—a look iconic to the Sorcerer of the Sands. He gleefully clasped a golden oil lamp in his long, bony fingers. A remarkable achievement, an item he had been searching his entire life for.

Now, here was a great man. Someone who had slaved away and earned his reputation, climbed in social ranks on merit alone. The Sorcerer of the Sands would die a highly accomplished man, advisor to a sultan, renown scholar mage, and seeker of truth.

The very symbol of Scarabia’s spirit of deliberation.

"Jamil-shi?"

The voice was soft and nervous, like that of a specter not yet parted from this world. A faint blue glow fell upon the Sorcerer of the Sands.

Jamil turned, releasing a sigh when he realized who had appeared beside him. "... Oh. It's you, Idia-senpai."

"Eeep!" His upperclassman jumped at the mention of his name. He clung to the doorway, and anxiety evident on his pale face.

"Well? Don't let my presence deter you from appreciating the artwork."

"N-No, that's okay!! It was getting to be too crowded in the main hall, so I wanted to dip and take a breather somewhere quiet to let my stamina recharge... b-but that's completely pointless if other people are still around!"

"You won't even notice me. I not a snake—I don't bite," Jamil insisted flatly. Not unless I want to. "You look suspicious lurking in the doorframe. You may as well come in."

Left with no other choice, Idia awkwardly shuffled into the exhibit.

He positioned himself a good distance away from Jamil, not saying so much as a word as he stared at an ornate figure of a broad-bodied ape. Its lips were twisted into a grotesquely wide smile.

Nestled in the monkey’s palms was a massive red jewel, glistening even in the scarce light. Idia's own terrified reflection bounced back at him in the gem’s many facets.

"Can't believe I got dragged out for this," the third year grumbled under his breath. "I-I wanted to go to that pop-up Sled Over Heels collab cafe with the walk-in museum... Instead I have to be here and gawk at the same pictures I've seen over and over again in magic history textbooks... Aaah, it totally doesn't compare at all to cute anime girls pouring all their passion into the artful sport of sledding!"

Some small, fragmented part of Jamil grimaced at the disrespect, try as he might to close off his ears, to not engage. No good ever comes of provoking a stubborn mule, he chided himself.

But the devil on his left shoulder pounced.

"Idia-senpai," Jamil spoke carefully, a slight edge to his voice. It made the hairs on the back of Idia's neck stand at attention. "Are you not a fan of this style of artwork? Or is it the subject matter you find distasteful?"

His upperclassmen startled. Horrified as the realization that Jamil had heard his every complaint, the tips of his flaming hair colored pink.

"W-Well... I'm not exactly a buff for this kind of thing," Idia stuttered. "It's ancient history. Been there, don’t that. Th-There's really no point in being on that grind cycle if it all just amounts to the same ending anyway. That's basically all history is, anyway."

Jamil bristled—though he took care to not let it show. "I beg to differ. The story of the Sorcerer of the Sands defies such paltry notions. He struggled much in his life, even served under a carefree, incompetent sultan that barely listened to a work he said.”

I know what that’s like.

“Jamil…!”

A smile he thoroughly detested flashed in his mind. So big and pearly and irritating as he offered him his hand.

“Let’s start over. We can be rivals… but we can be friends too.”

But that boy was a fool.

Feelings can’t trump social status. Not then, not now. Not ever.

“And yet it was thanks to his contributions that he is remembered today as one of the greatest men to have ever lived. The Sorcerer of the Sands was able to break free and live as he desired. He acquired the Genie of the Lamp and phenomenal cosmic power. He decided his own destiny.”

"Uweh, sounds like he's your kami-oshi, Jamil-shi... I guess it makes sense though, since you and the Sorcerer of the Sands are the same character archetype and everything. Chunnibyous gotta stick together and all…”

"… What is that supposed to mean?" Jamil planted his hands on his hips. He didn’t understand all of Idia’s slang, but he also wasn’t sure if he wanted to.

Idia's eyes—wide and anxious—cut away from him. “I-It’s nothing important…”

“Then why are you hiding it?”

“B-Because you’re definitely the type who would hold a grudge if anyone pisses you off!!”

“How rude. I’m offended that you think so lowly of me.” Jamil allowed himself a little smirk. “I’ll have you know that I won’t stop there. In fact, I’ll enact a vengeance plot so excruciatingly humiliating that you won’t ever be able to face the light of day comfortably again.”

“S-See?! That’s what I meant!! Y-You’re a certified chuunibyou!!”

“Whatever that means, I assure you that I’m not. Is it so wrong to look back on history and to appreciate how far we’ve come since?”

“Th-That’s…”

Jamil found himself returning to the painting of the Sorcerer with the lamp. He was almost drawn to it, lulled into a hypnotic trance. An item that could make all of his hopes come true…

“Let me ask you this: if you could have any wish granted, what would that wish be?”

“E-Eh?! Any wish…” Idia fiddled with the glittering buttons on his suit. He nibbled on his lower lip, a darkness having swept up what little color there was left to him. “I-I can’t say it, but… more than anything, there’s someone I want to say goodbye to.”

“I see. A fond farewell.”

Letting go.

Jamil’s chest tightened.

In a distant memory, flowers of fire lit up the night. He had been dancing then, hair and fabric flying as he spun and spun and spun. When had he last felt so free? His wings unbound, the sky as his limits.

“As for myself, what I wish for most of all is…”

He glanced back at the painting of the two lovers. Star-crossed, against a star-streaked sky. Adventure calling, liberation beckoning.

A look most malicious graced his careful controlled features. Lips in a lopsided smirk, eyes like daggers, glinting sinisterly in the dark. Concealed weapons rising to the surface.

“… to be well-connected with people who may prove useful in attaining my dreams. Yes, that’s it. Useful.”

[lolotheparagon]

Rating Every TNBA Redesign Cos Why Not

The New Batman Adventures was the last season of the infamous Batman the Animated Series, although it moved to another less strict network. Because the producers wanted to do crossovers with the Superman animated series, they gave the series and its characters a more streamlined style to it. Now I dont wanna blame Bruce Timm entirely since there were many artists on staff back then who did the redesigns but because I hate this coomer, Im going to anyway. In BTAS, you can tell each character apart and they have their own unique outfits and looks to them. But here, these are some of the most unimaginative superhero/villain designs Ive ever seen. Although some did surprise me and were not that bad. So, for a bit of fun, here's my look at each Batman character's redesign in the final (and worst) season of the show.

(Not counting Robin cos he's a different character to Dick Grayson or characters that had very little changes like Clayface or Harley Quinn)

Batman

The big emo rodent himself. For his redesign, I like the more sleek look to Batman's cape...thats it. His original design is really hard to perfect. Its got everything. Why tamper with perfection?

Batgirl

I actually kinda like Batgirl's redesign. The yellow gloves and boots really help her stand out and its the one of the few times the darker toned outfits actually accentuate a design rather than ruin it. Too bad Bruce Timm couldn't stop salivating over her and the rest of the women in this show. So next time you see someone consider Bruce Timm this legendary storyteller of Batman, give them a healthy reminder that he shipped this college girl character with her mentor/surrogate uncle figure FOR YEARS.

Alfred

Its like they sucked away all of Alfred's snark and replaced it with a cardboard cutout. Literally, he looks so sterile and empty. Who had the idea of making Alfred look more bored and done with everything? Also whats wrong with his chin??

Commissioner Gordon

Good ole Commissioner Pringle got off pretty much unscathed but I think they made him a touch too old considering they gave him a more lanky body, which makes him look more feeble and weak. Dude looks old enough to be Babs' grandad

Joker

Ohhhhh boy. So Joker's redesign is infamously considered by fans as one of the show's worst redesigns, to a point even the showrunners were like yeahh. And thats not unwarranted. He looks like an inverted Dr Draken and im so glad they redesigned him again for Batman Beyond and onward.

Seriously he's A CLOWN WHERES THE MAKE UP?!!

Two-Face

I know Two Face is just a redrawn version of the original design with the TNBA streamlined art style but I want to draw special attention to the monster side of Dent's face. Notice in the original it looks more manic and feral? Heavily contrasted with the conflicted, guilty look on Dent's normal side? But here, in the redesign the monster side is less scary and Dent looks way too bored and angry. The overuse of black lines doesnt help.

Catwoman

She looks like Harley Quinn or Barbara wearing a catsuit. Starting to see a pattern here?

Baby Doll

Its a tough call cos they both look very good but Im gonna lean towards the redesign cos shes got that creepy doll look down to a T (Annabelle would be proud) whereas her original design looked more like a Tiny Toons character.

Scarface and the Ventriloquist

I like the redesign cos of the exaggerated style of the rest of the show perfectly captures Scarface since he's, yknow, a puppet and having the Ventriloquist be shown to be scared and submissive really does show how the puppet is ironically the puppetmaster.

Penguin

Actually I like both of them. They both give off that sophisticated element Penguin is known for and after so many reiterations of him being this crass Scouse-talking crime boss, its nice to see versions of him going back to his rich asshole roots.

Bane

In the original, he has a luchador-style mask and wrestling suit fitting his Spanish roots. Here, he straight up looks like a gimp. Its really bad. Embrace your heritage, Bane!

Riddler

They went from Frank Gorshin to Jim Carrey for Riddler (fitting cos Batman Forever came during TNBA's development) and I love that. So I love both of them. Nice to see a villain with some fucking colour in TNBA cos im tired of seeing all this black outfits. Also his cane being an extended question mark instead of a question mark on top of a regular cane is genius.

Mad Hatter

Both of them fit Hatter's deranged stalker vibes perfectly, but I wish they kept the colour scheme for the redesign cos Hatter's new colour scheme looks too rounded and doesnt stand out.

Poison Ivy

Killer Croc

Finally, now he looks like an actual crocodile instead of whatever the hell he was supposed to be!

Scarecrow

Okay, who the fuck decided to make Scarecrow look like the Babadook? Cos I want to give them a raise. Holy mother of piss, that is terrifying. That shit belongs in the Arkham games. I still prefer the old design cos it has that perfect blend of goofy and gothic. He looks like a Cacturne now that I think about it.

Mr Freeze

HONEY WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU?!! WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE A FUCKING FUTURAMA HEAD?!! WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK?! YOU HURT MY HUSBAND, TIMM, NOW ITS PERSONAL

[eggsploded]

moar you say.. why then gregor and rodya of coarse....

where would i be without rodigor. where would WE be, without rodigor.

first impression: THE fuckin guy. this dude owns. (insert 50 invasive questions about cockroach anatomy and behavior) i was peeved his roach arm resembled more of a beetle horn than a arm

current impression: when chef greg dropped i got so horny i went to bed lightheaded i still love gregor dearly but my love for him has mellowed like the fondness for a favorite pasta dish.

favorite moment: literally every old fart moment he has. when he forgets names when he berated sinclair for not cleaning his plate when he goes uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh in his dialogue because he doesnt know where hes going with this

story idea: despite his deep frying and boiling during hells chicken i think the bus kinda Likes this guy. gregors a bit of a hot commodity. hes just a fella you can Jive with. a real Stand Up guy. now let him be loved, if obliviously through his own self consciousness. a friendly heathcliff rough slap on the back delays his depressive episode by 15 minutes

fav relationship: oh boy where to start!!!! rodigor. enough on that. meurgreg, not really romantic to me but i like the art of it that is. it revolves around a big fella carrying him under his arm so automatic slay. ive seen a little gregcliff action on the TL but its more of a 'work got me friends with people twice my age like whats uncle greg up to' ordeal to me. now lets get insane. gregsang is incredible to me because yi sang is the only mf on that bus EASIER than gregor. gregor got game? that hes aware of? while stuttering the whole journey? its kind of crazy. i dont actually have a reason why they would even like eachother yet but put rodya in there somewhere to toy with them if you want true crackshipping fun

fav headcanon: hes a little chunky

RODYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my favit

first impression: me furiously searching for her height on the wiki + nodding my head sagely deciding woman with sleepy eyes is peak character design (faust included). i trust her wholeheartedly even if she leads me hand in hand into a woodchipper

current impression: waiting for projmoon to drop more lore on her desperately because i know canto 2 wasnt everything. i feel a disconnect with the fanbase about her because i see rodya characterized sooooo differently than how i think of her. the gambling thing and her effortless confidence for example isnt really questioned like how it is with dons bravado. i see her gambling as an outlet for her complicated views on money. she feels as though being financially 'secure' as the lone survivor as a betrayal to all the deaths she caused. gambling not only aligns with her current im the hottest shit attitude but also is a way for her to not be responsible for money. the hoarding of wealth is what caused her community to starve, why would she want to do something that seems to harm others? shes very self destructive, and feigning as slots star is just one of the ways she forces herself to 'stay in the cold'. ummmmmmmmm anyway im really normal about rodya and think about her a normal amount also her love for decadant food really resonates with me as someone who was poor in childhood because the difference between eating to live and living to eat is Astronomical

favorite moment: shes started branching out and calling other people than greg pet names and it is so exciting. faust has now reached babe status!! good for her!!! also when she infantalizes sinclair its terrible for him but REALLY funny for me when he responds back and reminds her oh right this is a 22 year old man. also her random interjections that are socialist ideology are really funny because they always feel so fucking random and like projmoon is remembering why crime and punishment was written and going drop this bomb ass line itll go so hard guys

story idea: i want her to play poker against yi sang because hes weird and also his poker face is like. genuine and dear adoration for being able to play with his companions because deep in his soul is gardens and butterflies. she would be so freaked out not only because this guy agreed to playing poker but also because he is invasively (he didnt mean it) staring into her SOUL to find solutions

fav relationship: my thoughts are half the bus are in love with gregor and the other half with rodya with cases of overlap. rodya is so epic because shes seemingly got it together to the more deranged sinners but to anyone else its like oh my god this paper mache bitch the former being more faustish the latter being more ryoshuish. faustya is cute because faust initially wanted to absorb more Bad Bitch Strategems and then kinda got a crush and is hardcore malfunctioning also kurokumo ryodion got sumn GOING yall crazy love is love though

fav headcanon: shes actually really short for Lobotomy Corp Backstreets Russia and everyone there is just freakishly tall (see: sonya)

[ereana]

Alhaitham/Cyno - Good Luck kiss

Cyno blinks in surprise when Alhaitham rises from their table at Lambad’s. Usually Cyno is the first to leave while Alhaitham will squeeze out every minute of his lunch break that he can get.

“You’re off early, I thought my joke about the mushrooms was quite good.” He says as he sets his own cup down. If Alhaitham is going then Cyno has no other reason to stay, especially when there’s a fresh case on his desk about a group of suspiciously similar research proposals from a group of final year Vahumana students to investigate.

Alhaitham acknowledges Cyno with a nod as he reaches for his bag.

“Unfortunately, yes. I have about an hour left before facing off against some of the senior academics in regards to the proposed arts programme. Nilou is quite capable of handling their arguments herself but Akademiya politics are tricky.” Alhaitham glances at Cyno’s face before smirking. “There’s no need to pout General, I’ll be with you again this evening as usual.”

Cyno scowls and crosses his arms. He is the General Mahamatra. He doesn’t pout because his partner had to leave lunch early to deal with scholars who cling to their prejudices like toddlers to their toys.

He is simply…disappointed.

Alhaitham continues to look at him, the edge of wonderment to his expression the only reason Cyno doesn’t deny it. Alhaitham has admitted to him in the quiet of night, whispering under the covers of their bed, that he still has trouble believing that Cyno wants him. Cyno is determined to banish that misconception and indulging in a little light teasing is a small price to pay.

Struck by a sudden impulse he stands up from his chair, stretching on the tips of his toes until he’s close enough to plant a brief kiss on Alhaitham’s cheek. There are a few murmur’s from other patrons around them but they’ve been together long enough that the sight of the General Mahamatra and the Grand Scribe being romantic in public has lost its immediate shock value.

Now Alhaitham is the one who blinks at Cyno. Once. Twice. Seemingly struck speechless for a moment by the gesture.

Cyno grins at him. “A kiss for good luck. I don’t think you’ll need it for dealing with a few old men but take it anyway.”

He starts to pull away only for Alhaitham to wrap an arm around his waist and keep him close, eyes narrowed with an intense focus he usually only saves for a particularly interesting or unique book.

“Surely, if the intention is to give luck, a kiss on the mouth would offer the most direct way to pass it on?”

Cyno narrows his eyes but his grim remains fixed on his face. Alhaitham’s tone is almost bored but his eyes tell the true story, one that Cyno can understand in an instant.

“You don’t believe in luck, Haitham.”

Alhaitham shrugs. “That’s not the point. The issue is the most efficient way for you to give me a resource-”

“A resource you don’t believe exists.” Cyno interrupts even as he relaxes in Alhaitham’s arms.

“-and if it can be transferred using a mouth then surely the best way to do so would be mouth to mouth as with air if one were attempting to resuscitate a drowning human.” As he speaks Alhaitham bends his head down until there’s nowhere for Cyno to look but directly into his face. “Are you so cruel as to deny me a potentially life-saving resource?”

Cyno scofffs. “Only you could turn a small gesture of affection into an accusation of neglect.”

“It won’t be an accusation if you kiss me again.” Alhaitham points out and Cyno knows they could quibble about this for hours if they had the time; trading jabs and lofty, well-reasoned arguments about whether luck was real, what the best method for wishing someone luck was, and if it could be compared to the necessity of air.

It would be fun as well.

But duty calls them both and Cyno would feel awful if Nilou was left to fend for herself all because he wanted to be selfish with his partner’s time. He’s not used to wanting someone all for himself, the first time he’s allowed himself to be selfish and it crashes against his control with the force of a flood after a dam breaks.

That and the fact he really wants to kiss Alhaitham again too. A pleased warmth bubbles in his chest as Alhaitham asks him for it, reassuring that Cyno isn’t the only fool in love in this relationship.

Cyno kisses Alhaitham again, a soft lingering kiss against his mouth that makes Alhaitham sigh against his mouth, turning the imposing Grand Scribe into a puddle in Cyno’s arms. 

The kiss ends as Cyno pulls away, Alhaitham chasing after his mouth with the same drive that reshaped a country.

“Good luck.”

Alhaitham pulls him close once more.

“Further testing is warranted.”

Well, they are both scholars after all.

[vodid]

I really hope this doesn't come across wrong because I don't mean any shade or criticism, just genuinely curious. Why have you progressively muted color in your artwork over the years? Again, I don't mean anything negative. Your artwork is truly gorgeous, and the softer colors suit your style and make it stand out. I'm just genuinely curious since you've mentioned it yourself several times, and I'm someone who struggles with color theory to begin with. Is it a conscious choice, brighter palettes being overstimulating, some combination, etc.? Thank you for sharing your art, and I apologize profusely if this was a bad question to ask.

you're all good! i love sharing my journey. i get this question a lot and all i can really say is uh my brain took color theory a little too seriously and now it can't stop its subconscious descent

basically, once i learned color theory in 2019/2020, my brain hooked onto that concept and could match a lot of colors to a specific hue in the canvas

unfortunately for me, this extended to clip studio paint's UI (and the gray canvas i'd start out with) and it started to influence my palettes. gradually, as i got better with color, the desaturation/low contrast took over because of it. and it just progressively gets worse lol

my old laptop (used 2015–early 2020) had the WORST display for art with insanely inaccurate colors, so i wasn't able to delve too much into less intense palettes until i had gotten my gaming laptop in june 2020. along with that, the UI of my old laptop's clip studio was much lighter and higher contrast than that of its current one

here is a great example of how my art's progressed over time

i think a major pivotal point into my current style (which if you asked me at the time, i would've said nah my style was already desaturated oh boy was it not looking at my art now) was doing huevember, where i had created my own prompts with muted colors. the extreme palette of that event just absolutely set my brain on its path and you can tell by the end of that month (done bottom right first, top left last)

i do find it a lot easier on the eyes, which absolutely is a reason why i still follow it so strongly. i don't do well with bright screens, which is why i ditched the white canvas SO quickly in 2017 when i first started out. funny enough, nowadays i have to turn my brightness up so far just to be able to better see my art ...which absolutely kills my eyes if i switch to my light mode browser or something lol

my art's definitely softened up too since a) switching from pencil to gouache to rectangle brush, and b) colored lineart and then painting over lineart. it's a combination of things, yes but mostly just my brain like to play "match the colors" n all ahaha

that's my ramble 😌 thank you! <3

[bosskie]

2 Years Ol' Blog 'n' 3D Molluck Stuff

Man, having this blog has been a ride... I posted my first post here on 1st April 2022 and created this blog/account a few days before. During this whole time, my mental health issues have affected my blog and I was about to delete it before I even posted anything but I still decided to give it a try since I already got some followers; it felt supportive. I was surprised to have such a warm welcoming here and it still warms my heart. I still had some moments when I had to hide all my posts since I just couldn't stand my own stuff. Sometimes, it still comes to my mind but I'm doing my best to try to learn to at least tolerate my own creations. I feel sorry for being like this but only if it was easy to get rid of self-hatred... I also just tend to only see all my mistakes I have made when I look at my stuff, all the things I should learn...

But I try to be positive here, even I just tend to see darkness when I think about my own future. I just don't believe in myself... Originally, I didn't wanna be personal here but it just happened when one anon asked me if I had more art to show... I didn't since I have hidden all my old art. I have been on Tumblr for 10+ years but never posted anything until I created this blog. What brought me here was the active Oddworld community, the lovely people here. Even I think dim things about myself like every day, I do appreciate your support! Even I have my own difficulties with believing in that I have any talent/skills, compliments are light to my own dark image of myself.

I'll talk more later on this post but now, I'll show some 3D Molluck stuff and well, talk about Molluck... I show first my first Molluck sculpt I did improve today (yesterday):

I would still say that this is a WIP since well, there do is stuff to improve and do but yeah, I think that it would be wiser to let this be now and redo this since this is done in such an amateur way... There is no way to animate this since its geometry is a nightmare... I was able to rig this a bit when it wasn't so detailed, test out animating it but then, it became impossible. But well, the truth is that I do have still made animations with this despite of that... Frankly, the reason why I created this sculpt was my thirst for Molluck, how much I wish I was able to be with him... But this has helped me out multiple times with my drawings too!

I'm still not totally sure about some things of his anatomy but I have been doing my best to figure it out. I also realize that this sculpt makes Molluck look a bit more muscular/bigger than he is (see his neck and head size) but I have tried my best with fixing this situation since he did look even more bulky back then... The difference ain't too big but well, I do can create my own version of him too! I also see that this ain't 100 % correct when it comes to his face too but I tried my best. I'm still a beginner with 3D stuff, so I didn't use the best methods to do this either... I also feel like I just learned new things about his head when I compared this to the SoulStorm model recently... So yeah, this sculpt is a mixture of SoulStorm model, good ol' concept art of Gluk anatomy and my own adjustments. I only say SoulStorm model because it's based on New 'n' Tasty model, so he probably looks like the same under the suit but yes, that naked Molluck model has been my main reference for his body. The biggest change I have done compared to that has been his hands since I love his hand in that concept art! They are just the best hands, the most beautiful hands I know... But well, his whole body is the most beautiful body, at least for me!

Yeah, I think that I have made it quite clear how much I would love to have him... I already have said it but, he is my only desire... I cannot help myself with that Molluck is 'a perfect man' for me... No one else has felt right for me, there was always something off... But frankly, even I have seen multiple people being thirsty for Molluck, I have seen no one else wanting him like I do... None of that 'spicy' Molluck art I have seen reminds me of mine. It's just interesting how differently I see him since in the others' 'spicy art' Molluck has similar vibe and role... I don't really want Molluck because I have a thirst for him; I only have a thirst for him because I love him and for me, it's about sharing and giving love! I truly wish to make him feel good and loved. I have decided that I don't post my NSFW Molluck content but some cropped stuff but I could still post some suggestive things, though like I have said, I see him from a different perspective than the ones I have seen, with what I mean that he is 'the receiver'. I have just never seen him in this role by the others. I guess that this can explain why I have said that for me, he already has 'the stuff', no need for 'the usual additions'. His body also just feels more 'elegant' when there is no such a thing. This is just my preference, you can have yours. But it's just interesting to see how my way to imagine/see Molluck differs from the others. Though yes, I do remember when that one Molluck ask blog was still active and at least one person asked if Molluck liked things in his ass... Might have been just harassment or no one has just published such a content...

Frankly, I do actually prefer his back view instead of his front view, even I have been drawing it more... It's just that I'm unsure of how to handle nudity here... I don't wanna post his ass in front of the people who don't wanna see it... Nudity is natural for me but I just don't wanna make anyone feel uncomfortable because of my naked Molluck stuff... I just adore his body, so gotta draw it... Man, I would just keep talking how much I love his different body parts but I save you from that...

So, yeah, let's move on! I have already shown this one but I feel like reposting it now:

This is my stylized, simple Molluck model from last summer (2023). It's close to be finished since it's meant to be simple but some details are missing. You might wonder what's this style: Back then, I was inspired by Osamu Sato and his old video game graphics, so I wanted to create something similar to his style. I would like to try to rig this and then try to create more 3D models. Man, I would like to do so much 3D stuff... Oh, and yeah, it would be fun to make a naked version of him with this style too! I just have so much Molluck art ideas inside my head...

Oh, and yeah, I have been thinking for a longer time if I should show this or not but this feels like the right place to do it. So yes, I have created like a year ago a Molluck sim for The Sims 2. I know that it can look odd but he cannot look much better without doing own mods... I don't know how to mod these games but would like to learn it.

But yeah, I pretty muchly abused the face sliders here and did my own textures but also found a cigar for him. I did improve his face over time since I also needed to see how it works in the game. I also needed to lift his face after I found the cigar to place it into his mouth. It's basically only possible to create him to The Sims 2 like this because of the Body Shop is such a great tool and it actually lets you to use those face sliders without a limit: just edit the sim over and over again. Though yes, there is a tool to paint your sim's textures in The Sims 1 but it's such a pain to use... Oh, and you might notice those little dots: I just love to add his nevi to him, like you might have noticed from my drawings!

And yeah, my only reason for creating this Molluck sim was my self-insert stuff, even I do prefer him like he is, not as 'an anthro'... I just crave for this Gluk every day... Well, the good thing is that I'm able to create stuff about him, so I get some help even I know that I'll never get him... Also, even I recently said that marriage feels odd, it has now started to make some sense to me... I mean, I have started to feel alright about it. Maybe it's that my feeling of Molluck being 'the one' for me is getting stronger and stronger or it's a sign of my healing since I have just felt like it's better that no one is bound to me... Maybe it's the both. But despite of this, I still value the friendship the most since it's the strongest relationship type, so when the relationship is based on it, it's stronger than mere romance ect. I don't know if it sounds odd or not but for the first time, I actually feel good about marrying Molluck.

But yeah, this has already been a long post but just wanna say some stuff related to my blog:

I have multiple reasons why I tend to turn reblogs off and it's only for my own mental health, not that I had anything against you. Sometimes, I just kinda hate to see myself posting so actively, so I don't really like to see my stuff on someone else's blog either... I have never really known what to think about reblogs... Also, I don't like some technical things related to them, so it also makes me prefer to have them off. Maybe there somewhere my feeling of that I'm just ruining everything, also this community, affects this too... It's at least one big reason why I don't really interact here, even I would like to.

The truth is that I have never pressed the like button here, even I would have liked to, and it's just because of me feeling like it's better that I'm invisible. I tend to feel ashamed of myself, think that I'm a failure... It's not easy for me to be open and relaxed but I just wish to talk about Molluck so much that this happens... I do have other things in my life too but it's much more difficult for me to talk about them... I just feel like that if I didn't have Molluck, I wouldn't post any content right now, would have disappeared from the Internet. It's like extremely difficult for me to create an online imago, 'sell myself', build a portfolio... It has felt like this is gonna be my doom... My own self-hatred... But I'm still trying my best and going to make a big investment to this stuff this year, so that I can create better 3D stuff and use Unreal Engine. It's just for my future, otherwise I wouldn't feel ready to do it. I'm just trying to believe in myself, even it feels so difficult... I just wanna be honest about what I'm going thru since it affects my content a lot.

I have already written so much, so it's probably the best to end this post. But before that, I do wanna thank for all your support and your understanding, patience... I thought that I would probably be left all alone again after I open up about the hell I have inside my mind, that probably no one actually wants me to be here, like I'm used to think, but I have been wrong. It really touches me that I have been welcomed here and despite of everything, you still wish to support me. It's just about to make me cry, especially when, frankly, suicidal thoughts are quite common for me, been for over a decade. It's just like something daily... I'm so used to it. But something always just tells me not to do it, even I have thought about it like over a thousand times, if not thousands of times... Sometimes, I just think that I should be Molluck's next meat product but in my imagination, he still tells me that he would only lose money if he did that because I'm priceless.

I don't expect that people really read my stuff but I do really appreciate all the time you spend on my stuff since time is valuable! I just kinda need to write this stuff to here since I spend like almost all of my time alone and there somewhere I also wish that all this writing could help the others who also deal with similar mental health problems. I often feel like no healing has actually happened but I see from little things that slow healing is happening, like that I feel now alright about marrying Molluck and it only happened like a few days ago. I'm just starting to find happiness thru Molluck but he alone hasn't still helped me to heal. Even my mind keeps telling me it's a waste to support me and I have difficulties with receiving compliments, all support is still helping me.

Sometimes, I still think about this anon's words from about two years ago: 'I am cheering you and Molluck on and toasting to your brilliance.' The other compliments I have also gotten do also echo inside my head from time to time but I just wanted to say that I would have never imagined something like this to be said to me and these words do really mean a lot to me still. Toasting also just sounded fitting for this anniversary, so even this feels difficult for me, because I suffer from this severe self-hatred, I wish to toast to myself, for keeping going, even it has been so difficult, felt so tempting to end this all... But I wouldn't have still made it this far alone, so thanks for my family, all the lovely people who have supported me thru my life but also OWI for creating Molluck( and Oddworld)! It just feels like a miracle that I'm still here.

~ Much love!

[grimsdeadb0nes]

Let's talk Zeti powers?

In the previous @sonic-oc-showdown, I made a personal-in-mind note of when @nintendoni-art went over Zori's powerset and the mentioning of the Zeti as a race being fairly OP in their own right! Which.... You're not wrong, when you look at it/read about it or just watch them; H o w e v e r Now it's my turn with Zenyx if you dont mind ;3c

As a forewarning, I have my own personal lore (and even a bibble (bible)!) about all things Zeti, so what I present to you may be a smidge different, though I try not to change things too drastically! This is most definitely going to be a bit long (as I will DEFINITELY end up rambling!), so everything'll be under the cut!!

(I will include or reblog some art for this at some point, im just a bit too tired to make anything new rn to accompany it! ;w;)

Let's start with (or I suppose a reminder of!) the base list of what the Zeti are capable of, shall we?

--- and BOY are they Capable <3 ---

Heightened abilities such as Enhanced Speed, Strength, and Durability- and im sure Agility is somewhere in there too! While they may seem enhanced to an average mobian, keep in mind that these (albeit still varying) levels of speed, strengths, and durability are normal to the Zeti themselves! This is like a general average to them, so it's no wonder they happen to see (most) mobians as lesser since their 'average' tends to be much lower. It takes alot to take down even one of these beastly oni, regardless if they're alone or stand as a pack! Well.. if you're not Sonic, I guess! and a metallic virus isn't plaguing the land and people-

Along with these enhanced abilities comes also Longevity; with vast lifespans reaching over 1,000 years at least! They likely experience time differently- in a sense where 1-2 years means little to nothing to them but instead 10-20 years might instead- due to such long lives. Buuut thats just a guess by me. The Zeti will likely be the only still living parts of Sonic's life (Shadow and any bots like Omega and Gemerl aside) by the time Silver's borne time occurs- and I fully believe even Zik is probably still going to be kicking by then too. He's a healthy lil ol' man, I believe in him!

-

An interesting feat they're capable of as well is Energy Projection; Said energy can often vary in color depending on the user, along with what the energy forms as- whether that be tethers, orbs, spikes, or projectiles of some sort! I can only imagine other ways are possible too! However, In game, the first time we see Energy Projection used is in Master Zik's first boss fight- Zazz nor Zomom used the ability (or even acted capable of doing so) until much later (the boss rushes in the final few stages). And yet, going forward from Master Zik's boss fights, we start to see the others using the ability in some form or another. Now you can either chalk this up to "maybe zazz and zom are incompetent there" but I think, rather, its simply due to the power boost they're getting from the syphoned world energy from eggman's machine.. which just seems obvious to me. (Well that, and I think maybe Zik is just capable of it regardless bc he's Old 'n' Wisened and its easier for him or something bc he's experienced idk; let the old man be cool!!!!) In the various cutscenes during Tropical Coast, them turning on the machine is one of them after all! AND its after Zik's first boss fight, so more fuel to my fire. So slipping in some hc here; Energy Projection seems to be a technique only capable by those with well-trained experience under their belt (Master Zik) or those getting some sort of Power Boost- like in LW with the energy extractor OR the Chaos Emeralds during the Metal Virus (IDW) (though iirc only Zeena uses her energy projection (tethers) I think).

-

Another capability of this race is their ability to use Electromagnetic Manipulation; the base power any and all Zeti can have, to varying degrees if trained im sure. Essentially this means any devices that require an electric charge or are connected to an electrically compounded grid can and will be fucked up or messed with by a Zeti’s varying capabilities on command, unless EM shielded or the Zeti themself is being suppressed (i.e temporarily by the Cacophonic Conch, or by Tails’ “Zeti Zappers” in IDW). Be it taking control of bots n badniks to simply opening electronic locks and doors. Devices such as Extreme Gear are also not safe, sorry! We've seen in various instances that this can be a ranged ability, as all Six of them perform it flawlessly this way when taking control and turning the tables.

-

And now we're at an ability I would LOVE to argue about, actually!

So depending on which version of Lost World you play, be it the WiiU/PC or 3DS version, some of them are seemingly Flight Capable. Though even regardless of version, some of them will sorta float here and there for whatever reason. I will give Zor a pass here and i'll explain why later, but I just can't see it, Im sorry! 😂 Despite everything else they're capable of, full on Flight of some degree just aint hittin' with me- so! Im gesturing forward a headcanon or two of mine to replace it, as it feels more likely to me! Yes we're hitting Headcanon Territory! (To each their own tho! If you like the silly flight idea, more power to ya!)

Advantage over Gravity! Or at least the Hex's gravity! The gravity on the Hex seems to be much weirder/lighter(??) than down below on the Surface- given all the floating landmasses and whatnot- meaning the Zeti can often take easy advantage of this depending on the biome or the space for it. In some places and to some people, this can come off as almost a type of “flight” ability, but they aren’t actually flying! They’re simply maintaining air and prolonging their jumps. Their jumps are often skillful and light, flighty and maneuverable. That being said, they’re jumping and acrobatic skills are very powerful! Though of course still various from person to person. However, again due to the Hex’s weird likely lighter(?) gravity, that might mean that if on the Surface Below, the Zeti (or in our case, the D6 due to IDW) may feel a bit weird or heavier than usual, which may or may not affect their usual ease of jumping/etc.

-

There's a few other things in my bibble I go over, but i'll jump ahead to a more rare capability from the looks of it- that being 'Elements'; and okay while its not technically an Element element, it's close enough to ME. Im of course talking about specific Powers of Manipulation- namely Zor's Umbrakinesis / Darkness Manipulation for example. It's easy to hc that theres absolutely other manipulations, like fire/pyrokinesis and water/hydrokinesis and all that, and BOY do I have a long list of them, but I will shrimply not delve too deep into it! The point is, I think it's safe to assume that some Zeti likely have these types of powers- albeit not very commonly! Zor's is described as "an interest in the dark arts that none of the others dare to dabble in", so its alittle unclear if he was born with these powers or not canonically? But I like to think he most likely was. And back from my 'flight argument' before and why i'll give Zor a thin-ice pass; within the abilities of his Umbrakinesis, I do think this may have an interesting effect on him; sometimes making him "weightless" and why he might be able to "fly" or float around sometimes. It's not that he's flying, it's more just his powers giving him a little extra fun if he's focusing enough.

-

So Yeah! The Zeti may be a wee bit OP in their own right, but I think they deserve it- who doesnt love silly unbelievably strong evil creatures?

-

Now In Zenyx's case...

Zenyx naturally has the enhanced Speed, Strength, and Durability- likely being awfully close to rivaling Zavok himself in two of those and surpassing him in one- along with the Gravity Advantage (and Longevity is a given), however, everything else listed needs alittle more explanation on what she's capable of.

Infact, when it comes to Energy Projection- she is incapable of this feat! She can't seem to do it, no matter how hard she tries or how long she went through sessions with Master Zik about it! Regardless if she has a power boost or not! (Not that she likes taking/using boosts of any sort usually anyway, but still). Though when brought up, Zursie does try to put her granbby to ease, as Zursie isn't capable of it either! and neither is Zenyx's father. That being said, I do also hc that not EVERYONE can do it, but its a case of 'more likely of being able to than not', it just takes diligent training usually... usually. SO Zenyx is just the odd one out here out of the Six.

Another specific with her is the Electromagnetic Manipulation; While the rest of the Six are seen to easily do it from a ranged point, Zenyx herself seems to have trouble doing it from a distance. Instead, she has to make physical contact with whatever it is she wants to mess with or control! She just has to give something a lil touch of the hand or even just a finger tap for a connection to be made. If its a badnik for example, if she gives it a lil touch and makes a connection, she can then send it on its merry way to do as she "told" it to. Her not being able to do it from a ranged point seems to confuse most of the others, though Master Zik insists she likely just needs to work on it to better "unlock" the ability. It's likely usual for one to have the ranged ability off the bat, but perhaps sometimes being able to do so just needs to be trained upon instead. She'll get it down someday!

---

And now for something wholly specific to Zenyx! For context, in my bibble, under the 'Manipulation' based powers, I then have an 'Affinities' section; which is more or less just other types of powers, like Healing for example.

Zenyx has what is known as Beast Blood- getting it from her dad, and him getting it from Zursie, and her getting it from her dad, and him getting it from his dad, and so on and so on. Beast Blood, also sometimes known as Wild Blood, is what makes some Zeti better capable of Beast Keeping.... but also the unique yet concerning capability of "Going Feral". And no, I dont mean feral like im sure alot of people think Zazz sometimes behaves; it's not a basic bad behavior, it's a whole different level of being and mindset in this case. You do not want to cause Zenyx to go Feral, you really dont, it will NOT be pretty. Mercy is not in this state-of-being's vocabulary, you WILL get bitten into and likely MAULED if you are not careful! I Am Not Joking! They will get wild, snarling and hissing and roaring and their eyes change and they are not okay! They very much become Beasts in their own right!!! The downside (upside?) to coming out of a feral break though is typically a massive headache or an ache throughout the body, something similar to instant fatigue- along with hoping they didnt rip into anyone they care about. Its been shown by at least one other zeti in the past that the above downside can be bypassed by trained tolerance, but that guy was a masochistic asshole so who cares. Zursie insists to just try not to give in to it too often,,,

On a lighter note; they tend to have a much much easier time making a deeper connection with the beasts and critters around them like mentioned before (Beasts like Sandworms and those Swamp Crocs (called 'Surprise Crocodiles' in game apparently) and smaller critters like Animal Friends/Wisps/Chao for examples); and because of this, alot of people will be wiry at crossing one with Beast Blood, because you never know what kind of creature they might call for to kick your ass if you upset/threaten them! Sometimes its observed that Ferals actually tend to be alot more empathetic & sympathetic than usual Zeti tend to be if at all, but maybe thats just a Zenyx/Zursie thing. That might definitely just be a Zenyx/Zursie thing....

Beast Blood is a fairly very rare trait, with very few bloodlines having it; Zenyx's family line being one of them. Which is probably good... because it's capable of being really fucking scary sometimes 😭 Those with this beastly trait tend to be called Feral/Ferals, though it's usually used in a derogatory way unfortunately.

also fun semi-unrelated note that i've yet to be able to draw; Zenyx will, can, and does usually run around on all fours alot- i swear i will make this visually work someday! She is a very wild lil creechur dont mind her It's not like she was alone for the first 120 years of her life, what do you expect really?

[pansear-doodles]

Heard about a comic where Hunter tells her kid what to do when they have a seizure. It sounds cool, currently trying to find it.

Theres another ask in my inbox after this stating that youve found it. Always use my tags in my blog :) (though i havent had the comic uploaded in the other sites yet)

If you want to, i can longingly ramble about my thought process on making that comic. I know its short, simple, sweet and lighthearted, but for many things ive created for rain world, there is a meaning and story (as everything ive built around the fandom has always been self indulgence and vent art)

When i made that comic, i was sleepy as hell, promised myself to go to bed so i can work on my mass attack (surprise, i still havent done that today due to all-day school, tiredness and a 6 hour video slandering toy story 4 distracting me LOL), but ive randomly thought of the comic after making some cute sleepy doodles (that of which i wont reveal because many of these doodles are for self indulgent purposes(i promise you its all sfw for those skeptical because i just dont not want to flood my blog with similar drawings of hunter and artihunter kisses lol- im doing that all for myself at least!))

A simple doodle of hunter being a parent laying on the couch (because i was sleepy and wanted to project that comforting cushiony feeling onto this to encourage myself to sleep) but then it suddenly sparked to me that ive always wanted to explore a bit more on hunter's role as a parent now that its been long established that they are arti's spouse and chose this lifestyle.

To talk about a bit of my own personal experiences, I'm familiar with living around relatives who require medical attention and support, so I kind of wanted to put that feeling to arti's kids facing the reality that their new parent has some things that pushes them back at times health-wise. My dad is diabetic (and old- hes like in his midish 60s while im 21) and hes been having his struggles. He could not do some basic things like putting his socks on and putting on his shoes without the help from someone and generally has difficulty crouching and standing up. He has to take his meds often. It is hard to see him grow depressed and grumpier over the years, but being apart from him for college makes him realize that he misses and loves me.

My grandmother is old and i think she has alzheimers (my mom is not clear on this to me since i dont generally talk about these types of serious concerning subjects to her about her own mother). Sometimes she falls without almost no warning and has to be around someone to care for her in case that happens, and yet I recognize that despite these things, she is quite sassy and pretty insistent on doing some things herself (despite my mother recognizing the risks and yelling to her about them out of care).

My own mother, while our relationship is not perfect and while i recognize that most of her parenting stuff to me have negatively affected me for the long run, i understand that she is not a flawless human being and most of what she does to me and to my dad and grandma and to anyone shes close with- she does that out of care. She nags at my dad for shutting down business opportunities because of his anger issues. Nags to my grandma who does ignorant actions. Nags to me for- well- i have to admit that I can be lazy. But i can understand all the stress that shes going through- that she has to actively take care of so many people in her life (and i have not even mentioned my brother, who is a whole can of worms that of which im not going to detail, is included) and i sort of wanted to project some part of that stressful experience onto arti and her dynamic with the other characters.

There is some form of resolution to my mother's case though- is that she has a lot of friends who help and support her. Who light her life even when shes busy all the time and goes scampering back and forth. It eases one to know that my arti does have friends, and gourmand has been most supportive of him aside from his own wifeusband. (Which leads to that panel where gourmand is shown also helping hunter and that hunter themselves encourage their child to also ask help from others and not just from their other parent(though i am probably reading a bit too much on this projection since its also just common sense to ask any grown up for help in general haha))

But back on hunter themselves and the relations they have built on their children- you guys know I love Bluey, but not only does the show introduce to me so many lighthearted concepts and coping mechanisms, but it also portrays the relations between parent and child in a way that i find quite realistic and mature. And these kinds of portrayals teach me how to write this dynamic. Hunter is like a Bandit, but I would like to work around the fact that this is Hunter's first time as a full-on parent on a committed relationship, while also having to deal with their terminal illness.

I do not think Hunter would be *the* perfect parent, but I think they would actively try to be a good one at least, and they would understand that their kids are smart and can learn how to fend for themselves from passing on what they know (ESPECIALLY considering the setting... This is still Rain World after all despite its more forgiving nature). Its something i would have wanted as a kid growing up actually- my parents actively teaching me to prepare my future circumstances instead of leaving me to figure out most things on my own or parade me with rewards and decadence expecting good outputs from me to pay it off.

But if there is one thing that they have taught me as a child that suggested that hint that I am smart if they give me the knowledge and reasoning of: are those days when they have to work, leaving only me and my brother at the house alone. They would tell me to never open the door to strangers and I would follow that no matter what.

I think, at some point, hunter and arti would teach their kids something like that. Its a slope see. Theres this short comic ive read long ago i dont remember the name of but whose plot i remember vividly: parents in a level of a video game teaching their child how to jump progressively higher and farther until the child is able to jump high and far enough to reach the other side of a giant pit thats situated so closely to their home. Thats the type of thing id like to portray. Small steps to progressively larger ones. Being taught growing up.

Many of these thoughts seem random, and theres still so much to go on i could talk about, but it all boils down to my tism and connecting some of my personal experiences onto these characters, and experiences i wish I had growing up. I do not have disabilities (or at least i think so), but i have experiences around people with disabilities and I can understand how witnessing these kinds of events involving them can be a harrowing and worrisome experience, especially when its from someone you care about.

In all honesty, i was delighted to know that there exists a disability pride month when I logged onto tumblr one day and saw my first post talking about it. Yes! I did not know it existed before. And now i have and i am glad. Theres been lots of people educating me, outside of the fandom and over the years. I dont remember what and how i was before. My back memory trauma with someone in the past has fucked me over, but its better late than never yunno

Sorry for the long ramble and sorry for being quite dramatic. I hope my words are of some interest and in good faith to you.