#ha.... i have so so many emotions and thoughts rn as i finished it

[guplia]

Hello anon! First of all, thanks for the ask! (asks? idk I received three anon asks at almost the same time, it would be weird if they didn't all come from the same person lol)

fix recommendations? read mine /hj Sure! Just note that while I've enjoyed a lot of wips, I'm only gonna recommend completed fics rn.

Okay! Here's all I can remember rn:

"Clouds" by youngmoInactive (fanfiction.net):

Original summary:

"Even though he's a hero, he's still a human. CONTAINS CHARACTER DEATH. A nice look into Kai's perspective as he watches a close friend slowly lose a fight for his life."

Okay all I've gotta say on this one is that IT MADE ME CRY. OVER AND OVER AGAIN. Obviously I can't speak for everyone who read this fic but I think this will hurt Lloyd lovers. I have re-read it so many times to the point where I have half the fic memorised word-by-word. This is a must-read.

(if you're on the phone it's better to add "m." To the start of the URL)

"a day in the life of a fatherless child" by holographicknife (Archive of Our Own):

Original summary:

"lloyd has a panic attack *confetti* title suggested by my friend lol loosely based on a crack rp between friend and i   Warning for: mentions of suicidal thoughts and medication, explicit descriptions of a panic attack, including tight chest, difficulty breathing, nausea, and headaches. Proceed with caution."

This is a Kai And Lloyd fic, and I love Kai And Lloyd fics! Specifically ones where they address Lloyd's trauma from Morro and where Kai comforts him. So if anyone's into this sort of stuff I'd recommend it!

"A Courageous Escape" by Lilac_Lily234 (Archive of Our Own):

Original summary:

"In the midst of possession Morro hatred flows freely as he seeks to make Lloyd suffer for taking what he believes as his rightful title, but his cruelty know no bounds; Lloyd however refuses to give up but knows that time is running out, and in his desperation will find either salvation, or death.  - I don't own Ninjago, this is an au"

Ahem... once again, Lloyd goes through pain. A season 5 canon-divergent AU, from which my favourite part was... you guessed it! Lloyd having a panic attack and being comforted! But it's still a cool story besides too, season 5 being one of the best seasons imo.

While this fic is finished, the AU is not but I think this one has a good ending on its own.

"Out for revenge" by lloyd_slander (Archive of Our Own):

Original summary:

"Harumi’s plan to resurrect Lord Garmadon failed, during her time in Kryptarium prison she heard about Morro, the master of wind, and guy who had managed to make Lloyd’s life a living hell. Wanting revenge, she doesn’t stop from anything, not even from getting Morro back from the dead. Or The duo we always wanted, but never got. Lloyd is in for a hard time. Head the tags, guys!"

Okay. This one is rated Mature for drug usage and blood (there was nothing sexual though)

So it's a Morro traumatising Lloyd fic again, but this time he's with Harumi! So it's double trouble for Lloyd! (things go VERY BAD for him >:3)

Honestly I can't say much except read the fic, the summary's right there lol.

"Revealed" by Nation_Ustria (Archive of Our Own):

Original summary:

"Lloyd Garmadon is used to being hated. That's just how his life works—if someone knows that he's the son of the warlord who attacks Ninjago City on a weekly basis, they hate his guts. That's why he's made sure that his team—the only people he's ever been happy with—don't know who he is behind the mask, with the small price attached that he doesn't know their identities, either. It's not like they know each other's, anyways, so it's not a big deal. But then they find out. The fact that Lloyd's elemental power makes him an empath doesn't help, either. Basically the premise of the movie pre-reveal with show elements and personalities, and Lloyd's Green Power is him being able to sense and be influenced by the emotions of those around him."

Okay so here's a fic without Morro! (that's cause it's in the movie-verse) Another type of fanfic I like reading is where Lloyd in tlnm keeps his identity secret from the other ninja and it ends up getting revealed (like this one.).

I've seen this fic being recommended more than once and it's one of the fics with the most kudos in the entire fandom on AO3! So 2000 others agree with me on how awesome this fic is!!!

"What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger" by @crystaleclipse10 (CrystalEclipse on Archive of Our Own)

Original summary:

"Lloyd batted Red's hand away. “’m fine.” His head pounded, but at least it was quiet and dark. His hair tickled his nose. “What happened?” “We…didn’t get out in time,” Red whispered. “The missile exploded. We got everyone else out, though.” Lloyd relaxed and slumped forward as pure relief washed over him. They’d done it. They’d beaten Garmadon’s game. They’d freed the civilians and survived. Didn’t feel great, though. ~OR~ Lloyd and Kai get trapped under a building when it collapses, both injured. Angst and bonding ensue."

So it's another tlnm au fic! And this one has Kai And Lloyd bonding specific so I like it!!!

As I was reading this when it was still being updated I was very excited every time a new chapter would come out and my heart hurt for Lloyd each time! It IS worth the read! Just note that while tis fic is completed, the au is not.

"Officer Smith, Do You Copy?" by @hijabiwriter (same username on Archive of Our Own):

Original summary:

"Everyone has their reasons for becoming a police officer. Maybe they were forced. Maybe the profession stood out to them. Maybe they had some experience that prompted the idea of becoming a police officer. But that's only a few reasons. There are others, too. Like for instance, one of these officers is out for revenge."

This fic is entered around Nya, who's a police officer alongside Jay, Cole and Lloyd (for some reason Zane is not in this au/fic). Anyways her dark secrets are explored in every other chapter alongside the progressing story, and of course, an explanation is given to everything in the end.

On a personal note this is the fic where I left my first comment on my Ao3 account lol (the historic moment is on chapter 13!!!)

"Too Late to Say Goodbye" by @greenamethyst16 (same username on Archive of Our Own)

Original summary:

"Kai gets stabbed and Lloyd helps him... :D"

I think length-wise this is the shortest fic on the list but that doesn't make it bad!!! Basically Lloyd downplays his injuries and there are consequences... :D

"All the ways I say "I love you"" by @ninja-knox-ur-sox-off (Leonardo_Charles_BlueWood_21 on Archive of Our Own)

Original summary:

"Cole loves his team. They're his family and he does everything in his power to keep them safe and steady. He does his best to let them know he cares about them in every way but one.  Or  Seven times Cole couldn't quite say "I love you," and the one time he could."

Note: This story can only be read if you're logged in on AO3.

I like this fic because it encouraged me to remind my own irl friends how much they mean to me. In this story Cole believes that he's "the rock" of the team, and hence he doesn't show his emotions much. He's never told even one of them that he loves them and thinks that they deserve better than him. So stuff happens after that :D

Okay, I've read a lot more than this but this is all I'm gonna write about now cause I'm tired and I think this post has became too long. But if you wanna read more just check out the profiles of the writers! I haven't read everything myself but most of them have other good Ninjago fics to read!

If I've tagged you or mentioned your fic and you want it removed just let me know! I have no problem with removing it! :D

[hyunjinz]

ahhh.....

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

how to not be overstimulated

[twisted-king]

OOOO IDEA, how about the OB boys with a s/o who has an ESA (Emotional Support Animal) that they somehow convinced Crowley to allow them to have (because they literally need the animal). And the esa comforting them after their OB 🥺

Literally kissing you on the forehead rn.

Sorry about the exlusion of Jamil, idia and Malleus.

No ideas about Jamil, not sure how Idias would fit in... and Mal mal isnt finished

This is angstier than I thought it would be <3

TW: Panic attacks (Isolating + silent types), narcolepsy

Feel free to correct me if i got a certain experience wrong, I am a studying Psychology major so it would help me with my understanding of anything!

Remeber: ESAs and Service animals are different!

Overblot gang with an S/O with an ESA

First things first:

Lets say you're in second year, so you're dating the OB boys before the OB.

Going to keep the particular support need vauge, but it is panic related, reader is sensitive to loud noises and textures feeling wrong.

You 100% convinced crowley to let your ESA to stay with you because:

he is sooooo kind

you wouldn't let a poor defenseless panic-prone human in an ALL MAGIC BOYS SCHOOL alone would you????

Now with that out of the way:

Riddle Rosehearts

Animal: British Shorthair (cat)

I'm gonna call this cat Queenie

Riddle's Overblot wasn't really something you were ready for in any capacity.

Your usually kept together boyfriend was suddenly some... angry, monsterous thing.

This wasnt the Riddle that got you high quality noise cancelling headphones for unbirthday parties, the same Riddle who you spent so much time learning and growing with. Your dutiful boyfriend who was learning how harsh his punishments were with you...

That Riddle wasnt here right now.

Queenie circles you, nuzzling into your legs.

But its too late, you've shut down. Its hard to move, your heart feels like it doesnt have a beat but the hurt of an ever beating heart remains present.

Your breathing quickens, your knees buckle in from under you.

the dull thud of of your body hitting the slightly overgrown grass of heartslabyul is the last thing you hear as you slowly drown further into your panic.

Riddle, on the other hand, Just came to from his OB, staring at his dormmates worried and horrified faces. He feels weak, he knows what just happened, and he feels HORRIBLE....Oh god.

Are YOU okay??? where are you? Where is his S/O

That's when he spots you, your tear striken face, Queenie laying on top oof your chest, your hands shakily petting her back in sporadic, unrythmic strokes as her face snuggles further into your chest.

What has he done?

Riddle feels awful.

He promised to never be the cause of any panic for you. He wanted to be a safe space for you.

But his need for order seems to have taken over and ruined yet another important relationship in his life.

Despite his fatigue, he hesitantly appraches, keeping about 2 meters away from you. He knows you don't want anyone too close by right now.

When you show signs of calming down, He's there, silently and patiently sitting across from you.

"Do... do you want to talk about it..?"

You respond with a shake of your head.

He nods, you two remain in silence. One preparing for a potentially life-changing talk, the other rocking about as they cradle their cat

Leona Kingscholar

Animal: Corn Snake

His name is Zazu (shhhh)

Leona liked things quiet, and calm.

Thats what made you two work, at least according to him.

But, you knew and Malleus and Magift was a sore subject for him, you were kind of ready for his yearly temper, it caught you off gaurd last year, but this year you felt like you could really stand by his side!

Besides, a year in this hectic world with Zazu really helped stabilize your mood!

Until it wasn't.

A roaring stampede instead of a crowed, screams of terror instead of cheer, and your boyfriend, slowly turning your friend, Ruggie, into sand.

It was too much, too many shoves, too much noise, your friend almost died

You hold Zazu's little head gently, the soft, smooth texture of his scales your only vice as you duck under the bleachers of the magift stadium.

It's there and only there, all alone with your snake that you're able to break down and cry.

Leona groaned as he came to, he knew this was a stupid plan and a stupid decision. He could have just trained everyone properly, spend some actual time with you. He could have- Wait... where were you?

Despite his drained energy, he needed to know where you were. He put a hand up, stopping the chatter of his former victims, attemping to listen in for any sign of you.

He hears the soft mumbling of your attempts to talk to yourself

"Can't even trust em enough to tell me, I knew i should have stayed at home, this is why no one will accept yo-" hisssss

Okay, he had to do something

He rushes across the nearly empty stadium, suprising everyone (Except Ruggie maybe, he's kind of used to Leona)

"Herbivore?!" he stands outside the stands you're under

"I don't... I don't want to see you right now... I don't want you to see me."

"Babe- I... alright. Can I be with you right now?" "no." "I'm coming in anyway."

and he does.

He enters the darker space to find you huddled ong the ground, gripping onto your sleeve with one hand, the other coiled but zazu, who seems to lay still across your shoulders.

"I'll just be here." "Why?" you mumble "For you." he states

That makes you chuckle "You sap.."

Hisss <3

Azul Ashengrotto

Animal: Mop dog

Mop dog named Max...uh... Maxie

Okay so, unfortunately Azul did NOT like Maxie at first

But he got used to him because you two are a package deal

You knew Azul had insecurities, and his own...moments

You and Azul had a comfortable routine, you and him are both realtively particular, he needs a level of order in his life, and his comfort zone is very well kept. So you two kind of fell into a step.

Despite your realtive bliss spending most days in his office or the backrooms of the Lounge. You knew his business was his passion.

You also knew he tended to get a bit... ambitious.

You and Maxie knew to stay away during midterms, it was bound to get chaotic. And Azul gets kind of... gift-bomby around this time... it isn't the most comfortable.

Things typically died down a few days after midterms, so you decided to visit your boyfriend.

On the complete wrong day.

You took Maxie with you, ready to greet Azul after his busier week but instead you find...

Leona? with a pile of sand around him by Azul's vault... Oh no.

Maxie softly appraches a sullen Azul and nudges his leg with his paw.

Something seemed to snap because all of a sudden the sneaky yet loving Azul Ashengrotto you knew was... huge eight tentacles and crazed.

He shoves Maxie away, sending him to the ground (mind you, he's a pretty big dog)

He shoved your dog.

He's stealing things, he's refusing to be "worthless" "weak" "stupid and clumsy"

Everything you've always secretly felt you were... oh no...

Maxie rushes toward you.

You slowly place yourself on the ground.

You've fainted.

Azul comes to, he sees Ace, Deuce, the Prefect... Leona... and you? when did you get here? on the ground... Maxie gaurding your sleeping form.

He... overblotted.

How could he be so stupid?? everything seemed to be in pla e did he not count something or- WHY ARE YOU HERE?

Azul approaches you and Maxie, he dismisses the prefect and gang, solely focused on you.

Maxie opts to lie on top of you, promptly waking you up

"oof... what... what happended"

"I'm... so sorry" "Oh. right."

Maxie greets you with kisses, happily nudgeing your cheek accompanied by his happy barks. You sratch his head "I'm ok... down boy."

Azul apologetically stares at you, hesitant to say more.

You look up to him, sighing against Maxie. Your eyes narrowed "I thought we agreed." "I know I just... I can't help it." "Therapy." "I'll apply tomorrow afternoon, I promise."

Vil Schoenheit

Animal: Poodle

Her name is Georgette

Vil and Georgette get along realtively well. She doesn't shed, you keep her well groomed, and you're usually more on task with her around.

You like to joke that Vil reminds you of Georgette. He claims he is much more refined than your dog. She doesn't seem to like it much either.

He likes taking you out to set with him. He trusts you to behave and know's you feel safe both around him and whenever Georgette is around, he respects that.

Vil pets Georgette like an evil mastermind sometimes? So maybe that should have been a warning sign.

The VDC was fast approaching, Vil is under a lot of stress; he's been a harsh coach, his popularity stays at the same place consistently, he's FINALLY given the opportunity to beat Neige "once and for all"

VDC happens, you're helping the Prefect overlook how things are running. Overlooking the practices.

Vil does absoltely beautifully! and for once, Georgette agrees.

Neige does this old nursery song, and you're more than confident Vil will win.

You leave the prefect to handle the rest while you head to the stalls to buy a drink for Vil.

He deserves a treat after all <3

When you come back, everything seems fine but, the stadium is empty though...

And suddenly everything is falling around you

You take Georgette and quickly duck behind one of the seats.

Vil's distorted voice echoes throughout the stadium, you cannot quite see him but you see the giant MONSTER lurking behaind him.

When he comes to..

Vil is downright ashamed. He knows trying to poison someone is wrong. He knows he doesn't get to decide whether or not someone lives... Especially not for a glorified popularity contest.

And that's when he spots Georgette's thankfully obnoxiously large bow peeking out from behind one of the seats.

That is when he knows he has to check in on you. You are never far from Georgette.

"Darling? Meine Geliebte, are you alright.." You're huddled with your poodle. Rubble is strewn about around you. Your eyes remain shut as you mutter to yourself.

"It's ok, it's fine. you're safe. I-it's okay.." Georgette's fur is soft, you continue to trace little patterns into her well groomed coat.

Vil sighs to himself, relived you're at least ok, but he's worried. You have Georgette for a reason, and he knows just how much progress you've made to gain the confidence to live your daily life and he may have just destroyed that.

He remains by your side

[thegoober010]

BOO!! Did i scare you :3

I LOVEDDD THE LAST ONESHOT JT WAS SO CUTE IM GOING CRAZY GOING FERAL

ANYWHOOO i hope your day has gone well!!! Make sure youve eaten and youve drank water!!! Ill know if you havent 👁️👁️ /j

BUT I HAVE A REQUEST. As always. Whos surprised. *theres no sound but a few crickets chirping and someone yelling “GET OFF THE STAGE”*

But basically its Shane x reader who is his secret admirer, like he’s been getting letters from them and he doesnt know who its from. And reader is usually kinda sarcastic towards him so he doesnt think its them UNTIL he sees them writing something down like a grocery list or something and recognizes the handwriting immediately.

It can be a oneshot OR headcanons, I don’t mind :)

SOSOSO SORRY IF THIS IS TO SPECIFIC. I just have. So many thoughts. THANK YOU IN ADVANCE!!!

-🐾

OH MY- I FORGOT ABOUT THIS BLOG WHAT THE SCALLOP

IM SORRY SM YALL IM FINALLY BACK THO FOR A BIT MWEHEHEHEH

ALSO IM SO SORRY FOR MY ABSENCE IMA DO SOME HEADCANONS CUZ LIKE IM RLLY BUSY RN AND NEED TO FINISH HOMEWORK BUT IMA FINISH THIS FIRST!! GRAAAA ITS GONNA BE PRETTY SHORT THO SORRY BOOKIE :<!!!

gender neutral reader as usual <3!!

TW/CW -> none! Just some swearing but- wtv!

"All my emotions feel like explosions when you are around"

Honestly he always enjoyed your company, of course at first he was rather grouchy (and an asshole) whenever you were near him. Always giving you a scowl or rolling his eyes when he saw you getting near him, but he slowly started to get used to your company. What!? It's not like he enjoyed your company! Of course not! What a foolish though. (sarcasm)

He got more used to your company, allowing you to be seen more often near him but he was still not used to the gifts you'd give him. He understood it was so he could be more comfortable around you and be more friendly but he wasn't really used to getting gifts. But he didn't really think anything of it

After a while of you two hanging out more often, you both were always seen together, so much to the point people asked if you were dating which of course you both said no, but you both didn't seem uncomfortable with the idea whenever asked... Anyways.. Shane always came over to your farm where you'd always give him a nice meal and a very small amount of beer (each time he came over you'd reduce the amount of beer given and slowly start getting him to drink more water to try and help with his addiction, you'd also regularly listen to him through these meals about any of his problems and in turn he'd listen back) and you two would just chill, watch TV, play some games or go out and fool around!

After a good 4 months though he started to get strange notes... he didn't bother reading them at first until he noticed a word that quickly grabbed his attention, 'love'. He was honestly indifferent towards the letters, he didn't really care for them until he started to get them more and more often. It was rather confusing as he started getting all these letters all of a sudden, and not just any letters but love letters! It was a bit overwhelming to be honest, he never knew anyone would feel such a way towards him, not like he cared much..at first, after a while though he started to wonder who liked him and he even wondered if.. maybe he started to grow attracted to the person just through these letters!

Once you were with him he told you about the letters and even showed them to you, your face turned red and you immediately left him all confused as you wouldn't answer any of his questions on why you were as red as a damn tomato. He never really got his answer for a while. Due to your sarcastic nature you kept on teasing him about the notes and whenever he asked you questions like, "Who do you think it is?" or things of that sort you'd always roll your eyes and just go "oh I wonder who!" in a monotone voice, leaving him a bit confused.

After a while the letters started to die down, but that doesn't mean they got any less romantic, no, in fact I'd say they had even more romance talk than ever! They started to allude to the fact that the anonymous sender of these messages will confess soon, often reading "P.S lots of love, and I promise I'll see you soon <3!" or things to that nature

To be honest he actually started to look forward to these notes, although he found them a bit creepy at first or boring he started to get rather happy? The thought of someone liking him romantically so much to the point they send him love letters and admirer notes was sweet to him in a sense?

One day he randomly went to your farm and barged into your home, you know like how best friends do. He grabbed a few drinks from your fridge as he watched you make a grocery list. You were humming a soft tune while Shane's eyes got wider and wider as he saw you write. He spit out his drink causing you to stare at him strangely. "Shane! The hell dude? You alright?" You'd ask and he just stared at you like '😲'

You look at him like 'wtf?? you okay???' and he just wipes off the juice on his chin and helps clean up the spilt juice. His ears and cheeks were turning red as he did so, covering his mouth and stifling a nervous/awkward laugh.

"Your handwriting... I recognized it from the notes." he says quickly and you just go from "what??" to "WHAT" very quickly, absolutely shocked he could figure it out so easily from such a small detail!. You both stayed in awkward silence for a good 3 minutes as he helped clean.

He let out a cough and just quickly ruffled your hair and looked away "Don't worry.. I like you too.. the letters are uh nice too by the way.." is all he says. You both stay in an awkward silence for another good 5 minutes

After the awkwardness you both have a good talk and decide LETS MAKE IT OFFICIAL!! Yall both like eachother! Yall both wanna be together! So like why not!?!??! And oh wow he is one of the best boyfriends you've ever had :)!

He tries his best to improve his flaws, he knows he's not the best person and he's willing to change not just for himself but for you too, he wants to feel better about who he is now that he has you and he wants you to see him as who he wants to be as well.

You both plan out lots of activities together while dating and such, both of you are pretty much inseparable and no one is surprised you two started dating :)! (I FEEL LIKE MAKING SHANE BF HEADCANONS NOW OMG-)

For your guys' anniversary what he does is make you a letter and sends it with flowers, usually signing it 'secret admirer' and at the bottom he puts a little 'P.S it's actually your bf' just so that you don't get uncomfortable thinking it might be someone else lmao

You get really embarrassed when he brings up the fact you wrote him secret love letters and sent them to him, you thought it was a little cringe of you to do and it made you seem weird, but to him it was rather sweet, he loved it. From time to time he asks you to make some if you're comfortable with since the letters always made his day when he read them everyday! they made him feel better about himself :)!

..

bonus - > (definitely the little spoon when cuddling ANYWAYS.)

[yuri-is-online]

Sorry if this ask makes absolutely no sense I just need you to know the absolute emotion I feel because of this Ayuu.

I need you to know just . how close to tears I am . I just reread your Azul meeting his Yutu and I am. IM CRYING. THE “Your daddy’s here” IS TAKING ME OUT AND SHOOTING ME DEAD . IM GENUINELY TEARING UP. I think I’ve read every part so far twice over, barring the Yuu specific ones cause they Hurt Me. Speaking of hurt, Deuce!Yutu and Riddle!Yutu hurt me so so bad . All of the Yutus do, but they’re the ones that just came to mind rn and it’s so so sad. Especially Riddle! Yutu because he hates his dad :( Idek why I might’ve blocked out why LMAO,,, I love all the Heartslabyul characters and their kids it makes me cry. Especially Trey. He’s such a weirdly domestic freak that the idea of him being denied the family life he’s always been content with is so so sad. ALL OF THEM . THEY MAKE ME SO SAD BECAUSE THEY WANT TO BE WITH YUU!! They want to be with Yuu, and most of them are obviously happy to have a kid, but to know that that’s been taken away from you by circumstances that are literally destroying the world you live and love in? Yeah. That’s Rough!!

I would love to see Jamil!Yutu and how Jamil reacts to his child feeling guilt for something he never did, was never responsible for, and again has to suffer through because of the family theirs has been forced to serve. I think he’d be so mad, so so mad this boy has grown up thinking he’s the biggest blight of his father’s life, the cause of his death, when in reality he’s probably someone Original Timeline! Jamil would have cherished.

I LOVE YOU RUGGIE BUCCHI!!! Sorry I needed to cry that out this made me love him so much more!!! And Rook!! I love you Rook Hunt you weirdo. Ruggie being like “Idrk what to do… but I can bug Leona about it” is so so real. Him not caring if his son is charismatic as long as he knows his cards and is able to survive. Rook as a phantom is genuinely breaking my heart idk why. All of the phantoms break my heart. I don’t want to imagine anything abt them if I do because if I imagine them having even a fraction of sentience I’m heartbroken. Imagine being unable to prevent something from possessing you. Imagine your body and soul being used to tear your home apart— imagine seeing any of that through your own eyes. Imagine seeing your own kid after years of thinking them missing. I would genuinely not be able to handle that. It’s giving the Last of Us zombies where they’re completely aware and conscious throughout the first phase. Scared . Heartbroken .

Anyways, this au is 100000/10 I need you to know this. YOUR MIND IS SO SO BRILLIANT!!! I’m probably gonna keep rereading everything you’ve written so far about it because I’m having so many brain worms . So so many. Sorry for this ramble!! Please ignore this ask if for any reason I might have said something you didn’t like >:]]]] I HOPE YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL YEAR!!!!

;-; ty so much for your kind words anon I am injecting them into my veins to continue writing. You have said nothing wrong, rambles are nice to receive, though my ask box is a bit cluttered at the moment and I am super busy so getting to things in a timely manner is not something I am able to do.

Riddle! Yutu was the first one to get a post, and I am tempted to re do it as I was still figuring out the format. He hates his dad because he wasn't there for him when he was a child and he doesn't know why. In the good timeline he's something of a daddy's boy; he really wants Riddle to be proud of and praise him

After I finish editing the second part of Rook's post you will be pleased to know the next post is about Jamil. I'm still formulating the outline of it because I've been thinking some thoughts about stars and unique magics

The way I write the phantoms they posses the instincts of their former selves but the individual lacks the input you might associate with consciousness. I'll get more into it in the second half of Rook's post... but there is a degree of awareness of their actions.

There's a lot of tragedy in this ayuu, I'm glad I'm hitting my stride with it c: it's nice to know people are liking it

[freckliedan]

omfg so im reading your linguistics paper rn and im at the part where you talk about how its taboo to post abt the vday vid or dailybooths etc. but i feel like the chains have loosened over the years so to speak? cuz like, on twitter people have just. posted full dailybooth screenshots, or reference the 2009 phan song all the time which itself refs vday. and im wondering if thats like, because the community had gotten smaller after the dapg hiatus that ppl were more lax about it, or if it felt like dnp were more lax about it, or if these are all younger fans who werent aware of this etiquette at all but since so many younger fans have been joining like post coming out they just dont see it as taboo at all? some self-policing does still occur, specifically w ppl reposting dans nakedbooths, but its def not the case of YOU HAVE TO BE COMPLETELY SILENT ABOUT THIS anymore. i havent even finished reading yet but im enthralled

OOH thank you for the question i have so many thoughts on this actually. (context)

i think there's multiple reasons why the taboo on discussing the vday vid & other deleted social media things has grown lesser? under the cut bc i got wordy.

partially i'd chalk it up to the change in phandom demographics. like, there's a way lower proportion of us now who were around for the direct aftermath of the first major leak in 2012, or who even were a part of the phandom when a majority of folks had been present for that. things were so bad and painful then & in the era directly afterwards! people still learn about that but the knowledge of how bad things got is always going to be different from the lived experience.

so that's reason one: i think that within the fandom the strongest emotional reaction to the existence of the vday video & deleted social media posts will always exist in ppl who were around in 2011-2013 & similarly deeply ingrained in folks who joined right after that in 2014-15. and i think there's still a lot of us but there's also just like.. so many less of us now, too. the vast majority of my mutuals from 5 years ago have abandoned or deleted their blogs.

i do think another part of why things have gotten less taboo is bc it's no longer something that has the potential to out dan and phil/how directly they've acknowledged the social media posts (& to a lesser degree the vday vid)?

like. dan literally used screenshots that he almost certainly got from the phan directory in basically i'm gay. they acknowledged that the manchester eye meant something to them in giving the people what they want/witl (watched them at the same time, can't remember which had that in it). i know they knew how people would react to them mentioning iconic teen dalien moments in the big wheel in the sims.

there's also the fact that like... angry phil DMs/copyright strikes are a thing of the past? i'm not going to tell people where to find the vday video but it's stupidly easy to locate on more mainstream platforms at this point in time. shit, that brings me to another point: fans who joined more recently weren't around for the era where blogs were getting taken down for what they were posting. another reason it's more chill now.

like, the openness of the secret is like, something that makes seeking out the taboo less of a thrill?

but on the other hand! learning in detail abt the vday vid and old social media posts is something i think people find less necessary now? that used to be the most concrete like... phan proof. proof they were queer. and now that they're explicitly gay and openly together to the degree that they are it's like. the value of the information has lessened.

to go in a different direction. i definitely wouldn't call it a formalized etiquitte that the youngun's just don't know, especially when it comes to the social media posts—they've always circulated and even 5 years ago when i wrote that paper they were more openly talked about even tho the vday video wasn't (though again: 5 years ago was still wayyyyy more lax than 2013/14).

ultimately there's always just been so much clout tied up to knowing about the vday video & social media posts? so even though being too blatant has always been a taboo transgressing that norm with skill has also always been a phandom value.

i'm not going to get too far into the ways that dan and phil's fandom literacy and the fan response of archiving everything play into things bc i think i covered that well in my paper but yeah!

i don't have a good conclusion but: less % of the fandom being present for the aftermath of dnp being outed by the leak + greater aknowledgement of these subjects by dnp + less value for the information in the vday vid & deleted social media posts = more casual attitude towards vday vid & social media posts and a healthier phandom overall

[spywhitney]

🫱🏻‍🫲🏿Carmy is going to massage Sydney's hand(s) ❤️‍🩹

Unsurprisingly, I noticed something that caught my attention while watching a reaction to s2 ep8 (because I still haven't watched the show myself, I don't want to pay for it and the friend of a friend disney plus subscription I was going to use is paused rn, jesus christ let that not be so-) which was the episode starting with Sydney, a shot of her hands running across a table, then it cut to Carmy's hands. Which kind of inspired this:

Now imagine this: an entire episode with just Sydney and Carmy. I have the image of an episode with little music or very chill, low-key intimate music playing in the background. It's them cooking. Either the tension from season 2 or a more recent friction hangs in the air at the beginning, and it starts off with cold colours.

(Darn, I've browsed so many sydcarmy fics I'm not sure which it was, but there was one I read where they do a catering event for Uncle Jimmy together. If I find it I'll share it in the comments.) Because that's a wonderful, realistic idea that totally fits in the show and what the episode will be focused on.

Episode 3, 5, 6 or 9 would be a good place for it to happen (in Season 3, fingers crossed) and it reiterates just how in sync they naturally are: finishing each others sentences, moving around the kitchen wordlessly, handing each other ingredients before the other has to ask etc. Let a big chunk of the episode just be the shots of them being together, talking kept to a minimum even, so when they do it's more poignant.

Right before they'd be done with a good chunk of the prep, Sydney is chopping onions but stops to cradle her right hand and Carmy immediately asks her what's wrong (could even be a moment before this point he asks what's wrong with her hand but she waves him off).

They both sit on these step stools after Carmy tells Sydney to rest for a minute, then he gestures to her and Carmy starts massaging her hand with his. They need to get the food ready, but Carmy is meticulous: putting firm pressure between her knuckles, rubbing the ache from her fingers, moving in circles over her palm.

And initially Sydney closed her eyes from the discomfort, but once it starts to feel good she keeps them closed (because of course she does). Carmy begins staring at her (because of course he does) and is enamoured by her expression, so decides to start running his hands up her arm.

But then, two things happen: Carmy has a thought kind of like this "I wonder how much she'd let me feel her until she opens her eyes?" And Sydney lets out a sigh/maybe shudders a bit when a certain touch tickles or something.

Lots of emotions simmer below the surface. They both stop. Sydney opens her eyes, Carmy lets go like she's on fire. The tension is broken like the under the table scene. It's a subtle (or maybe not so subtle) wtf was I just doing moment for them both.

Energy. It feels a little more charged between them, but they finish the job, albeit with a cautious distance. The lighting in the episode was slowly growing warmer, maybe it reaches its peak by the end, or it's turned to a slightly cooler tone. It would be cool if the episode ended with no music.

Ty to everyone who has read this ramble to the end (if anyone does).

[pteren]

i just played a text-based RPG for two days straight

it's called Roadwarden and i loved it. you play as an adventurer tasked with traveling the roads between disconnected settlements in a deadly wilderness.

WORLDBUILDING (no plot spoilers) the setting is a dangerous and disconnected fantasy frontier which lies in the shadow of a powerful expansionist nation. everyone has beef with each other and it's not always clear who, if anyone, is in the right. the forces of nature are revered and feared. the monsters are SCARY dude. not in a cheesy horror movie way but in a very visceral "the wilderness is so much bigger than you" way. every confrontation has weight to it and the line between mundane animals and supernatural fantasy creatures is blurred. powerful themes include trust, grief, desperation, societal and personal guilt, trauma, religious tension, colonialism, environmentalism, and quite possibly more i never discovered- i expect to be replaying this game a lot. very casually lgbt positive. queer characters are frequently encountered just living their lives. so thats cool

the story takes itself very seriously but it pays off there are so many powerful emotional moments as a result good grief i love this game GAMEPLAY Roadwarden is played by traveling around and talking to people using simple dialogue trees. these trees are anything but static- they are affected by your tone entering the conversation, your personal goals and beliefs, your relationship with the person you're talking to, and the state of the world. for a good bit of the game you will have something new to say to a character pretty much every time you encounter them. knowledge is power. information you pick up everywhere will influence your dialogue options, and you're encouraged to hoard every scrap of info you can get- these precious details will allow you to solve mysteries, convince npcs of your convictions, and uncover secrets. and combat is no exception! fighting and other encounters use the exact same interface that dialogue does, offering you a list of possible choices. knowing your opponent is as important as your skills and equipment (if not more). you pretty much always have the option to lie when relevant which is so much fun. the game occasionally prompts you to type commands or phrases directly, testing your knowledge and/or creativity. you are also frequently asked for your character's unspoken thoughts about situations. its unclear to what extent this affects gameplay but it's an awesome touch. the game tracks your discoveries in an organized journal and lets you add your own notes. it was never difficult to keep track of what my character knew. (although the dialogue trees occasionally offered me choices i had forgotten about or wouldn't have put together on my own, this was usually an "oh right i remember that" moment and not a "what the hell just happened" moment.) this is not a roguelike. death feels like a very real threat (good writing) but it isn't doesn't end your playthrough and it's pretty difficult to get it to happen in the first place. this is a role playing game. it's about the story and it is stronger for that. WRAP UP so many moments in this game made me say "that's so freaking epic." both narratively and mechanically. i'll leave you to discover those moments yourself, but the way the creators painted individual story beats with unique twists on the same simple gameplay mechanics is nothing short of brilliant characters are great. i fell in love with some of them; i loved hating some of them. there are a few characters i wish were fleshed out a little more.

music is okay. nothing special. gets repetitive but the motifs are nice i finished my first playthrough in 16 hours it's on sale on steam rn go check it out :3

[pillowspace]

Hi! Hey! Hello! I just finished chapter 7 of Celestial Sundown and oh my! It was fenomenal!

I love that CSDy/n is getting more and more comfy in relationship with sun! They are getting bolder and trust each other more! Sun getting into their room is showing the big progress and trust on both parts! I don't know how CSDy/n but for me to tolerate someone in my room is a big thing. I see it was caused by his anxiety but still its the barrier they crossed one way or the other. It was so lovely and well written, what CSDy/n went through was traumatic and painful but while reading I couldn't stop think about the horrors Sun went through this entire time. If everything is okay with him the prayer should get to him and, correct me if I'm wrong, from what I understood the exact words won't come through It but the feelings and some basic meaning will be send to the God.

Therefore he could easily understood something went terribly wrong, not only that but the prayer suddenly stopped, He is far away, and from what I get without his crown he cannot teleport or manifest in different places. What happened? Are they scared? Hurt? Or maybe it was false alarm! They got scared prayed for him, and then they realised there is no danger so they stopped! But then the other call was sent and I bet If the first didn't, this one send him running. Not only that, the time has passed so he wasn't sure what state they are in, if all this time they were in danger,  but the urgency of the prayer expanded. Did something happened in the house? Was it the woman he showed himself to? Why he can't go any faster? I'm sure at this time he would curse himself out... For needing to see this mural. For not waiting for the morning so they can go with him. For being so weak. If he had his crown he could do something, and now he was useless, couldn't even get to this damn forest as fast as he wanted. He is so slow. Are they hurt? Are they dead? Did the thing that attacked him came back to finish the job and found them instead? He knew them, they wouldn't panic like that over something small. They wouldn't call  him for something small. The terrified calls of their heart  would be fuel for him to keep going. And what would he find getting back? The empty house, with the doors left wide open. He knew something bad happened but for them to leave their beloved belongings exposed like that it was worse then he hoped. And if your shredded blanket covered with human blood, nearby was telling anything it wasn't getting better. They helped him so much, they still are trying to get him home. And he wasn't there. He should have been there. He just had to be emotional again hadn't he? What to do now? Where to go? Their prayers stopped. Is he alone again? He can't locate them. Are they alive? Mortals are fragile, and there is blood nearby but no human, no. The blood of one of his kind, a big puddle. He had to do something, he searched this forest for so long with them, he had to manage! Had to find his friend. And the trail of blood left on trees and ground was the perfect start.

Ajshshs, I'm sorry I just love it so much! Can't wait to see what happens next. The emotions your fic gives me are not from this world, you are so talented and inspiring! I can't get enough of your content. And also you created my hyperfixation of sea slugs! I didn't even know something so pretty existed and in so many forms! Keep up the good work and being amazing! Get yourself a blanket and hot tea you deserved it after blessing us with such a brilliant chapter and so soon!

Sun comfortably being able to enter Y/N's room was something I thought about, but didn't really expect anyone to notice, so I love that you did

I. I. OH MY GODDDDDDD, I JUST READ THE REST OF THE ASK. STARING AT YOU WITH THE WIDEST OF EYES RN. I DRINK YOUR ASK LIKE SOUP !? WOW

Yayyyyy sea slug liker!! YEAH, there is something so wondrous in learning what sea slugs look like. It's like learning magic's real, for me anyway

THANK YOU SO MUCHHHH

[corrodedcoughin]

Hello! I'm back with more thoughts! I've seen so many posts and fics lately where everyone is super mean to Steve and I'm emotional I just want people to be nice to him. He gives so much to everyone! He cares so much! Idk I'm just an emo Steve Girlie rn

Give me a Robin who loves Steve with all her heart. He's her best friend, her platonic soulmate, her favourite guy. Robin, who makes sure to say "love ya, dingus" every time she says goodbye to Steve. When they hang up the phone, when one finishes a shift at Family Video, when one leaves the others house. And Steve always responds in kind, saying he loves her, and calling her Robbie or Robs or Dork or Dweeb. It makes Dustin absolutely insufferable, with him still not shutting up about them dating, but neither of them want to stop. Steve got literally tortured for her, she thought he died down in that bunker and there's no way she's stopping telling him that she loves him.

Robin and Steve who tell each other everything, things they've never told anyone else. Steve who tells Robin about the Halloween party. About bullshit. About how Nancy never loved him. How she broke his heart. He's over Nancy, but fuck, sometimes it still fucking hurts. And Robin who responds by immediately phasing the phase bullshit out of her vocabulary. Who makes sure to let Steve know that she loves him and always will.

Give me someone actually acknowledging that Steve is smart in his own way. Steve, who will occasionally venture into the Wheelers basement when Hellfire runs overtime to round up the kids, only to find absolutely everyone arguing over what to do next. Gareth, Jeff, the other one, all of the party. They'll ask Eddie a question (who is sitting behind his screen looking smug as hell) and then get back to bickering. And almost automatically Steve just says "What about X?" And proceeds to point out a detail that literally everyone missed. Because he's good at noticing things! He's aware! He's smart! He's the one who pointed out the Indiana Flyer music on the Russian message. If it weren't for him - Robin and Dustin still would have thought the message came from Russia itself. And someone says 'Good idea Steve'. And later Eddie admits to Steve that he was 100% right. The others were running themselves in circles, overthinking everything. If it weren't for Steve, they'd probably still be stuck there.

Give me a Dustin who loves Steve like a brother. Who keeps inviting Steve over for Sunday roast with his mother, and for a sleepover and pizza on a Friday after school because he genuinely loves spending time with Steve. Who tells him things he doesn't tell his mother, asks him for help with his hair. Bring back their dorky handshake that they made together when Dustin made Steve watch Star Wars with him (it wasn't super his thing, but he liked the teddy bears and Dustin loves it, so). They argue and bicker and tease each other like siblings - know exactly how to push each others buttons - but they love each other (even if Steve still thinks Dustin needs to learn more about humility and personal boundaries. If he has to hear one more comment about him dating Robin he swears to God...)

Give me an Eddie who starts dating Steve and instantly turns into the sappy, cheesy, absolutely head over heels goofball he really is under all that bluster. He put on a mask of his own, just like Steve used to. The freak, the metal head, the Satanist, and intimidating drug dealing son of a bitch. But he's really just a dorky guy who cares so passionately about the things he's interested in, trying to make his way and find his place in the world. Eddie, who realised he can be a bit of a hypocrite - once saying all jocks and popular kids were conformists and assholes, putting them in boxes - and then dating Steve who genuinely likes his light wash jeans and polo shirts. Who has fun playing basketball with Lucas and watching the baseball with Wayne (and doesn't that make Eddie's heart clench, seeing his two favourite people together). Who does these things because he likes them, actually, not because they'd make him popular.

So Eddie makes sure to tell Steve that the new polo he bought looks really good on him, nice pick babe. (And he's not lying - that shirt does amazing things to his shoulders, and the colour looks really nice with his skintone.) Eddie who smiles and nods when Steve starts talking about this really cool car he saw drive through town the other day, you should have seen it Eds; or about this really awesome play in the game last night, he was on the edge of his seat, because Steve just lights up having someone who listens. His parents never did. Tommy and Carol never did. So Robin does. So Eddie does.

Just Eddie loving and caring for this amazing guy he got the privilege to date (scared as they both are). Steve, his wonderful boyfriend who tries to learn about metal for him, and goes to Corroded Coffin concerts for him, and takes him to the drive in to see a horror that Steve doesn't like but Eddie does.

So Eddie goes on hikes with Steve (they're exhausting, but Steve seemed so happy to have him with him); and tries to learn the rules of Basketball to surprise him; and picks cheesy action movies to watch together because Steve likes them.

I just want fluff

And I just want to live in this. Oh my god this has squeezed my heart to the point of immobilisation. I can’t say anything other then please please if you ever expand on this I’ll be first in line. Steve has been the protector, the carer, the overseer, the worrier for everyone important to him and he is so reluctant to let somebody do that for him. Reluctant because he doesn’t want to get used to something that could be so easily taken away from him.

It takes him time but eventually Steve learns to accept this love from his friends. Let’s himself be loved with no expectations. The thing is it’s hard, really hard. He keeps trying to ‘pay people back’ for the kindness they show him. Thinks it is an exchange and panics when he thinks he hasn’t held up his side of the friendship. Tries to practically throws gifts at them, hoping he can buy their favour and that they won’t throw him to the side.

It gets to be too much and he gets overwhelmed and he cries. He’s in family video with Robin, eddie and Dustin. The three of them planning weekend activities, making sure to ask Steve what he wants to do and he just cracks. Can’t stop himself. Apologises, tells himself he’s being stupid. Takes himself off to the back room. It’s so abrupt that they all follow him, asking if he’s okay. Steves reluctant to say but then they see the tears in his eyes

‘so stupid guys I’m so sorry I’m trying really hard. Please tell me what to do. I need to make it up to you, please. I promise I can’

Robin crowds into his space, hugging him from behind.

‘Steve. This isn’t how this works. It’s okay. You are okay. You don’t buy us. I’m too expensive for that anyway’

Eddie is leaning up against the doorframe, fingers twitching to touch steve, reassure him, but restrains himself

‘Stevie, sweetheart, believe it or not, we want to do stuff with you. I have personally found a deep and unspeakable love for hearing you wax poetic about cars, so please. Now that I am acclimatised, don’t take that away from me?’ It’s all said with a smile but it’s sincere and Steve can see that

Dustin goes to start talking but Steve stops him

‘Henderson if you say one nice word I swear to god I’ll never let you live it down.’

So Dustin just flips his middle finger with a smile but still lets out a ‘love you man’

Steve brushes Robin off, tries to act like it’s no big deal. Tries to accept what he’s been told. Its not instantaneous and it’s not easy but he wants to accept it, wants to try and see what his friends see.

Robin and Steve close up family video, Eddie and Dustin getting in the way and are lovingly pushed out the door. Steve tells them to go wait at his house, that he’s having a movie night and they should get snacks. Robin smiles at him, glad that Steve is letting them stay close, that he isn’t pushing them away after being vulnerable. It’s a big step and they all know it. Steve Harrington is letting himself be loved.

[ginalinettiofficial]

hey what’s up hello okay so i finally just finished s2 e52 of dndads (had a very crazy work week so was listening in bits and pieces) and here’s the thing is that im also currently relistening to the whole season and earlier in this week, the most recent episode i finished, was halt and catch fireball, and before that ya know was mrs. swallows oak garcia’s home for peculiar teens or whatever that one is called where they are just. at normal’s house and we got to actually get to know rebecca a little bit and i have got to say that i don’t know if i could’ve picked a more painful and wild older ep to listen to as a precursor to dood riddance i really don’t!!! literally half of the shit in dood riddance just circles back to that arc in the swallows oak garcia home and it’s CRAZY

like first of all. the red vines, which they called twizzlers the entirety of e52 which was MADDENING as a person who legit just finished e30/31 where the red vines were introduced

but then like. e31 is where taylor gets the anime sword from nick!!! that he loses in e52!!!

there were a few other things that i’ve forgotten in the half an hour since i finished the ep because my brain is a sieve on a good day and i’m just getting home from two back to back 13 hour shifts (with an extra 1hr10/20 each day for the commute) so the brain machine is so fucking broke rn

but mainly. i wasn’t loving e52 esp after dood left i just was not vibing with it, i feel like the vibes were off in the room in a way that translated into the ep for a bit there, but then anthony in those last like three minutes brought it back around and with the roll of rebecca??? after i legit JUST finished listening to the eps that feature her the most prominently and like truly showcase not only normal’s relationship w his mom but also, as is said several times in e30/31 and their teen talks, just how similar normal IS to his mom and how he really clearly is a total momma’s boy and very much so seemed to be a kid who sought solace with his mom more than anyone else in his family and just. having legit JUST reestablished that in my own, made the end of e52 DEVASTATING for me in a way that idk if it was for other ppl??? idk haven’t checked the fandom yet im very disconnected this season but just.

like

i think that okay so we have ten parents it could’ve been, right? and five of those are the kiddads, and none of us want to see them die, so in that moment when anthony was telling us what was gonna happen, obviously my instinct was like “oh god don’t do this don’t do terry jr again but truly permanent” and then my next instinct was that it would be potentially even MORE awful if it was scary’s dad because finally there he is and that’s ALL she wants and for willy to take that moment from her would be INSANE and then (mind you this was my thought process over the course of literally 10 seconds, my brain is ping ponging in my head and has been since the second i got in the car to head home i need to sleep) and THEN my next thought was, oh god, but how fucked up would it be if it were marco??? oh god, how fucked up would it be if it were cassandra?!?!?!?! and then it was time for the roll and truly in those brief seconds basically my brain flicked through every potential victim and said “oh god THAT one would be the WORST”, EXCEPT for veronica and rebecca, and it made the hit of it being rebecca who was low down on my instinctual list to think of but then the second he said her name i was immediately ricocheted back to earlier in the week when i was listening to halt and catch fireball and mrs. swallows oak garcias home and how many emotions i had about normal and his mom just relistening to those episodes and then the fact that i DIDNT think to worry about her just

all of that combined to make that a CRITICAL HIT FOR ME OKAY like i am SO fucked up over this truly that was WILD and i applaud anthony burch for it and now am excited for the finale even though ive spent the last three eps just dreading it for several reasons but now im excited and devastated and i love that

anyways. that was word vomit i just NEEDED to get this out because the connections between those two episodes really will not stop hitting me in the head and i need to impart that onto SOMEONE. if u read this. ur a real one. rip rebecca swallows oak garcia you were a legend and i am so sad about u

[soleilnomoon]

Hi again! Still absolutely adore your Kid fic from your last event 💜 Never got around to asking for a Sanji one, so here I am again😅 But seriously, congrats on over 550 followers!! Love seeing your blog grow, cause you’re really talented and deserve them all and legit can’t wait til you hit 1k+ 🥰

For the event order, may I please ask for a #1 with my boi Sanji, with anmitsu, konpeito, and keylime pie and with honey, please? 🥹 i hate this but need some sanji angst 😭

I also dunno if these three would work particularly well together for a prompt, so you can choose whatever! just really feeling angst and sanji rn and maybe comfort if you’d like 🥰

Thank you for all your works you’ve done so far 💜💜

hiiii omg haha i loved that fic fr (i'm obsessed w that man!!!) also ily for requesting sanji i don't write him nearly enough 🥰️ but thank you sm!! 😭 making me all soft and i am so so sorry this took forever, as u know i am so slow but!!! i had fun tormenting sanji w the angst ngl 💓💓💓💓 also those were great choices for the prompt, i wanted to write more but it would've been 8k words before i finished and who has time for that (i do, but listen... that's besides the point) ✨

2k words, fem reader (honestly gn too now that i think abt it), sfw (SHOCKING i know), 18+ mdni, a lil bit suggestive but nothing wild, angst angst angst city babey, fluff if you squint, also i gave u comfort bc u deserve it bb 💗(and sanji does too); feat. sanji being in denial forever and ever, mutual pining, fake unrequited love, reader is determined and sanji is a coward; also i made myself sad writing this but a good sad bc sanji deserves happiness and i'll fight oda if he doesn't get it i s2g... (if u see grammar mistakes/spelling errors... no u didn't 💗)

“loving each other began this way: threading / loneliness into loneliness / patiently, our hands trembling and precise.” — yehuda amichai

STEP 01:

what does it take to kill a soul? —

a question that’s posed unironically, without a hint of remorse or tact, the words precise and venomous, slicing through the thick veneer that he’s carefully crafted. he’s never been able to answer that question — not at six years old, not twelve or fifteen, and not at twenty-one. his siblings took pleasure in taunting him with seemingly philosophical questions, ones that clamped down onto his thoughts with heavy shackles.

even after he’s extracted himself from that life, he can’t scrub those memories from his mind — no matter how hard he tries. they sit, still raw and bloody, giving rise to unpleasant emotions that make his stomach churn from so many things left unsaid. he never set out to be a pirate, but piracy has given him the sort of freedom that he could only wish for as a child.

it’s with tender hands, with nimble yet graceful fingers, and with a fastidiousness that puts him in a category of his own, that he creates and creates and creates —

he’s told he’s an artist, which only pushes him to work harder, to be better. and when he asks himself why, he doesn’t have an answer. or, rather, the answer he does have only serves as a punishing reminder that he’ll never be good enough. no matter how many times his crew mates thank him — their emphatic, genuine praise a soft, warm breeze against his heart, gentle caresses that he commits to memory — despair still manages to infiltrate, a darkness choking out what little light he has left inside of him.

STEP 02:

how far are you willing to go to reach the truth? —

when you join the crew, he’s unnerved by your presence, which is wholly unlike him. usually, he’s able to put on his façade of the flirtatious cook, one that’s jovial and sociable, that lives to serve and please those around him. his first conversation with you ends in disaster; he spills the drink he tried to pour for you, despite your insistence that you are perfectly capable of pouring your own drink — and he knows it’s not out of malice, but it cuts into him all the same.

he tries again and again, bringing you little treats that you only agree to eating if he sits and eats with you; confusion eats away at his mind, and when he opens his mouth to decline, you pat the seat next to you and he acquiesces. he sits stiffly, at first, unsure of why he always feels on edge around you — an irritating need to impress you in a way he’s never wanted to for others grows stronger by the day.

you think it’s cute that he always seems flustered around you — that he stumbles over his words, refuses to hold eye contact with you for longer than thirty seconds — you also think it’s cute that the false bravado that he puts on for the world, diminishes immediately the second you come close to him. if he’s skittish, it’s because you always catch him staring at you; despite his quick reflexes, his reactions around you are slow but pure — childish, almost.

lately he’s clumsier and scatterbrained, nearly burning dinner when you decide to keep him company. you lean against the countertop, a teasing smile on your face — the same one that that caused him to bump his forehead against the cabinet door earlier — as you prattle on about a dream you had. he can barely keep up, his eyes drifting from the skillet to your face, gliding around the curve of your cheek, dipping lower in a slow descent along your neck.

he blinks repeatedly when he reaches your clavicle, stunned at his restraint; and it’s only when you call his name loudly that he realizes he’s left the heat on for too long.

“are you okay?” you ask when you see that he’s fussing over how best to save the dish, mouth moving as he quietly mutters to himself. he barely registers your voice, as an insidious one whispers harshly into his ears about his perpetual incompetence and lack of talent.

you can see that he’s retreated even further into his mind, a feat that also leaves you frustrated. you want to shake him but refrain and grab his hand instead. he snaps out of whatever stupor that held him captive just moments ago, lips parting as he sighs softly before glancing down at you.

“thank you.”

the words are quiet, but impactful, as he didn’t think he’d be able to get them out. you let go of his hand too soon, but he doesn’t say anything else, choosing to focus on cooking than embarrassing himself again in front of you.

you take his silence as a silent dismissal, but you don’t fight him on it — it’s bitter, that sort of rejection, and you swallow back your argument with great difficulty.

STEP 03:

what’s the difference between cowardice and self-preservation? —

frustration bubbles underneath his skin when he can’t find where he placed his lighter; he runs a hand through his hair and tugs on impulse, accidentally ripping a few strands from his scalp. they swirl and tumble onto the ground, pathetic in a way — just like me, but he never really says that out loud. he doesn’t hear your footsteps, although you did your best to remain as quiet as possible.

a cigarette sits in between his lips, and he has half a mind to toss it over the railing of the ship, but a warmth suddenly appears in front of him in the form of a flame. you found his lighter on the floor earlier and meant to give it to him, but every time you got closer, he found every excuse to leave. you don’t realize the impact you have on him — not really, anyway — because he’s genuinely surprised that you can’t hear the heavy beats of his heart that grow more intolerable the longer he hangs around you.

always afraid of being found out, he opts to keep his distance. it’s easier this way, he tells himself, better. but he doesn’t quite believe that; the evidence is plain as day when his tongue feels like its grown three sizes in the span of seconds, where his words get lost and forgotten. it’s all your fault, he reasons; you who insists on talking candidly with him, who insists on listening to him ramble about his dreams, who absolutely insists on stubbornly tearing down his walls, steadily chipping away without a care in the world. he looks at you as if you are the source of all his problems, but he also looks at you as if you’re the solution.

the intensity behind his stare makes your hands tremble slightly, it’s a miracle you’ve managed to keep yourself composed for this long. you light the end of his cigarette with ease, as if you’ve done this for him hundreds of times —and place the lighter into his pants pocket afterwards. if he wasn’t so used to you getting in his personal space all the time, he’d retreat immediately. the proximity is almost too much for him, but he doesn’t step back; you take that as a good sign and keep him company for a few minutes.

you don’t care for the smell of smoke, but on him it smells good. you almost tell him that, but instead bite down on your lip and keep your comment at bay, nerves getting the best of you as you nearly choke on the possibility that your feelings won’t be reciprocated.

another time, maybe. cheeks flushed, you turn your face to look elsewhere. although, you wonder if there ever will be another time. with him, you never know.

he’s still trying to figure you out and why he feels a different sort of calm around you; it’s alarming and new, drumming up an irrational fear within him. he doesn’t think he’s deserving of your attention or affection, and he’s convinced himself that you don’t harbor any romantic feelings for him. and why would you?

one by one, his thoughts pummel into him, acerbic and overwhelming. he exhales a sliver of smoke and puts the cigarette out. he gives you a quick, apologetic look before telling you goodnight, the smile on his face is melancholic and barely existent. you don’t dare say a word, keep your lips pressed together stubbornly; exasperated and dejected, you don’t know what’s worse — his inability to lower his guard around you for longer than ten minutes, or your inability to stop yourself from trying to carve pieces of yourself to give to him.

maybe if you helped him fill the gaping holes in his heart, he’d truly understand how you feel.

STEP 04:

if you had to do it all over again, would you do anything differently? —

sleep evades you after that night, and the night after that, and so forth; it gets so bad that you’re yawning in the middle of the day, falling asleep before you can have a cup of coffee or tea. this does not go unnoticed by the others, and after talking with nami, you feel less out of your element and finally can see the parts of sanji that he wants to keep hidden. her advice is simple: approach slowly and with intent; corner him and don’t let him escape.

you bide your time, full confident that you can find a moment to sit down with him and talk this all out. it doesn’t come easy, but franky mysteriously swaps sanji for the night’s watch — something that should strike you as odd, but it’s a small opening that you take without thinking as you hurriedly climb up to the crow’s nest with a renewed sort of energy.

even with his eyes closed, as he sits lazily on the bench with head tilted back against the wall, he knows it’s you.

“go back to bed,” he says firmly, refusing to look at you.

your stubbornness, unfortunately, wins out. “i’m staying.” at that he sits up, his attention completely on you as his eyes widen at your words. he wants to ask you why, but cowardice wins out — again. as his features soften, a flush crawls along his face, lightly painting his cheeks pink. he closes his eyes again, tries to steady his breathing as he counts backwards, only for his efforts to be obliterated with ease the moment you sit next to him.

as your thigh presses against his, you take his hand and on impulse you trace your fingertip along the lines on his palm. he watches you with a morbid fascination that scares him; but then you start to say things like, “you will live a very long life,” and “you are courageous, and you have a big heart.”

a small part of him wants to pull his hand away, so you won’t say anything else — but he remains put, so still that you almost think he’s stopped breathing. your voice is sweet and disarming, even when you carry on this charade of reading his palm. a belated realization hits him forcefully, making him blink several times; it dawns on him that you’ve always been so kind and gentle with him, even when you teased him. he’s spent all this time overthinking and hiding behind his past, that it never occurred to him that he could have simply let you in. you’ve never given him reason to believe that you’d betray or harm him intentionally.

he takes a deep breath, voice a little uneven, “i—”

you lean in close, adoration dripping onto your words as you interrupt him. “hey, have i told you?” the question glides along his skin, the words seeping into him as you continue, the lilt in your voice a honeyed, melodic spell. “you remind me of starlight and the mysteries of space.” your lips brush against his when you tell him that, and a warmth settles into the middle of his chest, makes it hard to focus. he doesn’t think when he curls his fingers around yours and doesn’t think when heleans down to kiss you — tender yet electrifying all the same.

the move disarms you in a way that doesn’t quite make sense to you, so you simply hum in approval and lean your head against his shoulder. a comfortable silence settles around you both, but you don’t mind that at all; it’s nice, not having to tip-toe around him anymore, and the demons that plagued him for so long don’t seem so intimidating with you by his side.

[alquighost]

I'll yap abt Paranormal Order X PJSK (more specifically WxS) and what element I would give to each one of them!!! ★ミ

Translation: I'm seeing people say that they are agents who fight against the paranormal so like- they are in Paranormal Order? They'll fight against blood zombies and such?

When I drew Rui with affinity to Death, I was thinking of "What if PJSK character where in paranormal order?"

I REALLY want to think more this au and maybe even write SMTH too, but I'm not that huge of a fan of Paranormal Order, my brother is almost constantly telling me to finish watching Desconjuração and Calamidade, anyways, with that I don't know a ton ABT the universe like other fans do so, I might say SMTH wrong, I did go to the wiki to clear some of my doubts, but even so, I want you to understand that I know almost anything lololol

Now, without further ado, what element of the paranormal would each member of Wondershow have affinity with!!??

I discussed this with my brother once or twice, although I still have my doubts.

I know that the elements aren't really choosed depending on personality, you just feel the elements calling you to take their hand, so, I tried to think as the entity's!!! How? Idk. I just thought "Yeah... Blood really likes those feelings... Yeah, the devil would take you" and that's it :D (altho I thought abt personalit a tiny bit too- but that doesn't matter)

Rise the curtains for our first guest... NENE🤖

With what I've saw ABT her, the only element that would call for her in my opinion is Knowledge.

I would love to see a CHAOS NENE, (a chaos WxS troupe actually-) but I think knowledge suits her more. She's very reasonable most of the time. She still is anxious, but man, she does take so many good actions when needed. The one I can think right away was when she decided to bring Rui to Kaito in "It's on Wonderhalloween". She also wants to learn more and more to become a diva right? And she has a lot of knowledge and ABT videogames I suposse. I do she her as someone who wants to know more to surpass her weaknesses. And idk- maybe knowledge would call for her.

Idk, honestly, This seems too superficial, but I can't think of anything else, sorry Nene :(

ALSO! I can see her as an occultist or a fighter (I don't really know the names for the classes in English, so sorry-) DONT ASK ME WHY- I JUST SEE IT. Maybe as an occultist than anything else but, ykyk- Imagine Nene with a knowledge gun

And now, our world future star, TSUKASA🌟

Blood. Yeah. That's it. Blood.

As I said before, I do also want to see him taken by Chaos, but blood suits Tsukasa so well.

Im not really sure WHY I see him with affinity in blood, but he does let his fellings control him. Maybe not as much, or maybe not with bad intentions anymore, but he still does. Not only that, but his dream to become a star to bring smiles to tons of people started with wanting to make Saki smile. That strong feeling of "Things aren't really good rn, but I want to bring a smile and happiness to the people I love the most" is something the devil would like. Theres so many emotions, Tsukasa created a whole SEKAI because his feelings. And he's so caring too. THOSE FEELINGS ARE SO STRONG. Even if he forgots abt some of them, I'm sure that the element of blood would love him.

Now... For the archetypes... Idk honestly. I can see him as an occultist too. Because - I CAN'T see him as a Specialist. Maybe a Fighter? But i don't really now, but I want him with a gun

It's time foooor~ EMU OTORI 🍬!!!

Easy one, not really a suprise, right? CHAOS IS SO EMU!!! SHES SO CHAOTIC!!!!!

Although... Now that I think about it. Maybe Death is a good one for her too- because you know, she wants to perseve Phoenix Wonderland as identical as her grandpa built and even if, in "Our Happy ending" she act like it was fine for her to ""leave"" WxS she still wanted to be with them and stay as they where, even if she cherishs and wants to see her troupe have their dreamers to come truth.

Death would love her...

IF CHAOS WASN'T THERE!1;;!!!11!11

LOOK AT HER, SHE SCREAMS CHAOS CHAOS. Once, I saw someone say she is like a mini anfitrião. I don't know much about him, but seems accurate. SHE IS CHAOS. SHE IS ENERGY.

Now... As for a class... I really can't think of anything. Fighter maybe??? I don't really know... I wanted to say occultist too but seems a bit repetitive-

Anyways-

Everyone, give a great applause for, ou dearest alchemist RUI🎈!!!!!!! YAAAY THE ONE WHO STARTED THIS ALL (⁠ﾉ⁠◕⁠ヮ⁠◕⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠*⁠.⁠✧

Rui was a HARD ONE, A REALLY HARD ONE. Not only because his my favourite but also because I could see all the elements calling for him. Altho... blood not as much...

He could "choose" chaos because. Well, you know him! His a chaotic child with a wild imagination!

Knowledge could want him because he has such a curious nature, and although that many call him a genius, his thirst for knowledge never ends. He wants to learn so much more. At first I thought that knowledge was the definitive answer but then, I looked at Death.

Death, the element of time, spirals and repetition. Rui wants to experience every millisecond with his friends, and he's the one who seems most afraid of WXS disbandment (not saying that the others are okay with that, Nene says that they will stick together no matter what, emu, yk emu, our happy ending yk- and Tsukasa cherish and appreciates his troupe sm, he also wants to realise his dream alongside them), anyways, but Rui. AAA Rui... He doesn't think about that 24/7, but that "If we disband" seems to torment him imo.

For me, the thing he values the most, It's the time he spends with people and doing things he loves. Maybe that's not what death wants, because it wants you to be absorbed by the spirals. But meh, I like Death Rui.

Now then, he would definitely be a specialist. MAYBE an occultist because... Sorcerer Rui

BUT THATS THE END OF THIS RAMBLE!!! Idk what to say anymore about that, just aaaa. Yeah, that was it :D

Little reminder again! I don't have that many knowledge ABT Paranormal Order so if anything seems off, my dearest apologies... But if you have smth to add or maybe refute, I would love to read it :DDDDD I really wish that people who know these two things would think of this- idk crossover? Au? Idk, ABOUT THIS >:)))

ANYWAYS, HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY!!! :D

[idrellegames]

I just finished a re-read (replay?) for the first time in ages and omg I forgot how fantastic this game is. Like there’s sooooo much to do. I adore the characters (Phaedra marry me 😭). My first playthrough I romanced Aeran and it was so investing and emotional and I still have so many thoughts about it. This time I tried the friends route and I absolutely love how it doesn’t feel any less important than the romanced route (if that makes sense?). The way you describe things is so vivid and compelling. I struggle a little sometimes with imagining environments and settings but the way you write them just makes the scenes come to life. You could write about a chair and I’d still eat that shit up. The little changes depending on your choices are so fun too. Like if Mc has facial hair, them growing a beard while on the ship. I love that. Also the lore??? Amazing. The races you created? Amazing. I love the journal feature so much. Also the word count is absolutely insane. Like you started in 2020 and you’ve already got so much done. Each episode is like the same length (and probably longer) than most books I’ve read. And it isn’t even done. This probably makes like no sense but it’s pretty late where I am rn so I cba editing it. I really just had to let you know how brilliant your writing is. Like I’m sure you’re aware, but still haha

aaaaaaaaaa thank you so so much for the kind words!!! 🥺💖

[sputnikbeomie]

bsd beast lightnovel spoilers //

so,, i just finished reading beast and I am...damn that was so good, far better than I expected

there's so so much I want to say about it, and wish I had annotated it but instead I took a few pics of pages when I could remember to 😭

I don't think I'll ever be able to look at the scene in the anime where oda throws akutagawa over his shoulder the same ever again...the fact dazai actually did achieve death in this book,, the way dazai knew about the book and all the parallel worlds outside of the beast one...the scene where dazai said "for this is the only world where he's alive and writing" actually made me tear up. I think out of the whole novel that scene in particular really got to me, especially after the scene in the bar and dazais emotions are shown so clearly on his face when talking to oda, and just the whole explanation of the book and other worlds (including this particular world) when explaining to both aku and atsushi was just so well done

For me, I considered it rather that of a plotwist reading the whole book only to get to the end for that to be said. And asagiri's own notes at the end of the novel too...what if atsushi was a woman, what if the ada was on verge of bankruptcy, what if chuuya joined the ada alongside dazai when he first left after odas death? Like. Although this was an au, its events are still canon. They're canon because asagiri himself wrote it to show what if... and the fact he purposely has dazai mention the book and the other worlds...even when he starts clapping after shin soukokus fight saying "that's as good as, if not better, than the ship fight you two had"

LIKE?!?!? And the way asagiri literally confirmed that no matter how many au's there are...how oda is dead in every single one of them but beast...I'm crying. I could still go on and on and write actual essays about this book but yeah. I have so much more I wanted to say but my brain is so beautifully overwhelmed rn by the world and novel that is beast. All those thought aside, I would just like to also say how I absolutely love aku's character design in this 😭 his clothes were so well done...and his personality too 😭😭 I just loved this side of him

ANYWAYS after all that being said (I'm sure I have so much more I wanted to say too but I just can't comprehend rn,,)

I'm going to finally start stormbringer !! Time to cry from what I've seen so far 🫶🫶 I'm so excited to read it hehe, and I'm sure I will be even more gobsmacked after finishing that lightnovel than I was beast so 🤧 (I also posted this whole thread on twt lmao but I just needed somewhere to vent cause I have no moots to talk about this with let alone the lightnovels 🤧

here I go 🫡🫡 onto stormbringer