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integra1127grimmreaper · 2 years

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Partner In Crime, Partner In Life, Partners Forever - P.I.C final (John Winchester)

Series Masterlist

Part 3

Warning: swearing, slight angst, gun violence

Note: Y/N - your name

Y/L/N - your last name

Y/N/N- your nickname

Summary: The Fourth and final part of Partners In Crime. The relationship between John and the Reader continues to sour as surprises pile up on top of each other, along with possible tragedy

Note: This is long ass chapter as finally conclude the story of Detective John Winchester and Detective Reader

Dividers created by @firefly-graphics

Week Six

Today marked exactly six weeks since you were at the doctor’s after you had gotten the call of having missed your scheduled birth control appointment. Which meant today was the day you had been advised by your doctor to finally take a pregnancy test.

You made the decision to take the test on a day that you knew Dean wouldn’t be home, so you chose; Thursday, which was Pub night, which meant you’d have the apartment to yourself until the next day.

Your paranoia getting the better of you; you make sure to lock both the bedroom and bathroom door while you took the test.

You were sitting on the closed toilet seat; lost in your thoughts, when the phone alarm went off. Taking a deep breath, you got up and reach for the test lying on the counter. “Oh, my FUCK!” you loudly cursed out at the positive pregnancy test in your hands.

“Maybe it’s a mistake” you shake your head at it, “doc spoke about false negatives, maybe this is a false positive.” Grabbing another test, you do your business again, “yeah, that’s it” you try to reassure yourself, “this one will definitely be negative.”

An hour later; you found yourself sitting on the bathroom fall, hands clutched deep in your hair as you silently stared at the three positive pregnancy tests staring back you.

This better not be happening. You thought to yourself, especially not now with how the situation between John and you were. Exhaling heavily, you got up from the floor, tossing the tests into one of the draws. Washing your hands, you then exit the bathroom and drag your butt off to bed.

When morning came, out of desperation; you decided to take the last two pregnancy tests. Definitely can’t be happening. You blankly stare at the positive tests. Grabbing all the tests, you throw them into the paper bag they were originally in and head for the kitchen trashcan to get rid of them.

You had just gotten off the phone with the doctor’s office, when Dean entered the kitchen. “Morning…” Dean yawned out, grabbing himself some coffee.

“Oh, hey…” you greet, heading to the refrigerator to grab ingredients to start on breakfast.

“You ok?” Dean looks at you with concern.

“Huh?” you look at him confused, shaking you head to snap out of your daze, you faintly smile at him, “I’m ok… just have a lot on my mind.”

“Does it have to anything to do with Dad?” Dean asks.

“What?” you ask, a bit surprised at his question. Heading to the kettle as a distraction, you start it up to make some herbal tea for yourself. “Why would you ask that?”

“Ran into Jones yesterday, he told me about the huge blowout between you and Dad just before the reassignment” Dean explains.

“Oh” you turn around to face him, “your Dad snapped at me over something stupid, can’t even remember what exactly.”

“Is that why you bailed out of the resent Pub nights? And why you guys got assigned new partners?” Dean frowned, seeming genuinely disturbed by what had he learnt.

“I thought it would be best to stay out of his way for the time being” you answer with a shrug, “we’ve been partners for the past five years now… maybe it was time for a change.”

“I’ll have a talk with him” Dean states, disappointed with his father’s behaviour, “you’re family… he shouldn’t be acting like an asshole towards you.”

“It’s fine Dean” you try to get him to drop the subject, “I don’t want you getting into a fight with your father over me.”

“But-” cutting Dean off, you respond with a stern look. “Drop it, Dean. Just let it be.”

“Fine…” Dean grumbles, “but if he does or says something in front of me that I don’t agree with; I’m putting him in his place.”

“Ok” you smile at his overprotectiveness of you.

Dean then tilts his head at you, “you sure you’re ok?”

“Yup” you answer, “why do you ask?”

“Because you’re drinking herbal tea first thing in the morning, as opposed to your regular morning coffee…” Dean points to the mug in your hand.

“Oh…” you blink at him dumbly for a second, letting out a chuckle, you respond “still detoxing…”

“Oh” Dean chuckles as well, “almost forgot about that.”

“No sweat” you smile at him.

Following Week, Monday

“The doctor will see you now, Ms. Y/L/N” the receptionist at the front desk informs you.

“Thank you…” you smile at her and head into the examination room.

“Y/N…” Doc. Davis greets you with a smile, “I take it you’re here because you had a positive result?”

“Yup” you sigh in response, throwing yourself heavily into the seat at his desk.

“Ok… So, I’ll get everything ready for the blood tests, while you get comfortable on the examining table” Doc. Davis instructs you.

“No need” you drawl out, throwing your head back against the seat, “I took five tests… they all came out positive…”

“Wow…” Doc. Davis chuckles, “then you definitely are pregnant…”

You let out a deep groan, “guess so…”

“Then in that case, I’d like to do an ultrasound to see if the pregnancy is progressing well” Doc. Davis informs you, “we’ll still be drawing blood though, just to check if everything is well with the both of you.”

“Ah… there we are…” the doctor announces, “you see that little fella there…” pointing towards what looks like a blob to you. “That’s your baby…”

You laid there dumbfounded while the doctor did his magic with the ultrasound wand. So, this is real? It’s truly happening? You’re pregnant, not only that; you’re pregnant with John’s baby… What the fuck am I going to do? John already can’t stand you at this moment, he’ll surely hate you even more for this.

“Fetal pole is present and baby seems to measuring up to date, I’d say you’re about seven weeks” the doctor informs you, “and now for the real magic…”

You’re suddenly brought out of your chaotic thoughts by loud, rapid sound waves echoing through the room. Staring at the monitor wide eyed, you turn to look at the doctor, “is that…”

“Yup…” he nods at you and smiles, “that’s your baby’s heartbeat. Strong and healthy too…” He pressed a few more buttons on the machine and then removes the wand from inside you, “you can get dressed while I go and arrange your next follow up with reception.”

Sitting behind the wheel of your car in your reserved parking bay at work, you silently stared at the printed picture of your baby’s ultrasound. My…baby… You silently think to yourself. I still can’t believe this is really happening… Oh-my-god… I’m going to be a mother…

You faintly smile at it then; you always wanted to be a mother, although this wasn’t how you had pictured it would happen… you found yourself becoming excited at this new adventure in your life. Regardless of the situation with John, this baby was yours and you planned on keeping it.

Staring one last time at the picture, you tuck it deep at the bottom of your handbag, getting out of the car to head inside.

“Hey, Y/L/N where ya been?” Jones asks as you enter the office.

Placing your bag and gun in the draw of your desk, you respond, “had an appointment I had to go to.”

Jones nods at you in responds and that’s when you notice John curiously staring at you. Please don’t interact with me right now… You silently plead. When he turns away to head in the opposite direction, you let out a sigh of relief.

Checking to see if the Captain was alone, you decide to that now was a good time as any to disclose your pregnancy to him.

“Hey, Captain…” you knock on his open office door, “could I have a word with you.”

“Sure, come on in…” he replies, “what can I do for you, Y/N?”

“Um…” you stammer a bit while closing the door, taking a seat at his desk, “I thought I should inform you; that I just came from the doctor’s and… I’m pregnant…”

“Wow…” the Captain blinks at you in surprise, “well, congratulations… you do know I have to report this to the higher ups?”

“I know, Sir” you nod at him, “I only have one requested though. Could this remain just between the two of us and the higher ups for now?”

“Sure” the Captain agrees, “I’ll assign you and Jones to risk free cases for now, but eventually you’ll be assigned to desk duty.”

“I understand, thank you, Sir” you reply getting up from your seat to leave.

“Y/N…” the Captain calls out to you before you open the door to leave, “once again; congratulations.”

You smile at him in response, “thank you, Sir.”

Once you had come to terms with becoming a mother, you drove head first into ensuring that this pregnancy would go smoothly; getting the prenatal vitamins the doctor had prescribed you and making some changes in your eating habits.

“Morning…” Dean yawned out, heading directly for the coffee as usual. “What heck is this poison?!” turning around from the stove, you notice Dean staring in disgust at the mug in his hand.

“Oh” you head to the coffee machine next to the one he had poured from, “that’s decaf…” you explain replacing the mug in his hand with the one you just poured, “this is normal.”

“Since when do we have two coffee makers?” Dean raised a brow at the two machines standing next to each other.

“Since just drinking herbal tea started making me miserable…” you answer him matter-of-factly.

“Ok… who are you? And what have you don’t to Y/N?” Dean arches a brow in suspicion at you.

“Ee…” you shrug, giving him an evil grin then, “maybe I’m her evil clone sent here from outer space to infiltrate and destroy mankind…”

“Don’t- do- that!” Dean physically shudders, looking at you bug-eyed, “you scare me when you do that… I almost believed you for a second.”

“Then stop being so nosey” you chuckle at his response.

As the days went by, you truly started feeling pregnant once the nausea had kicked in. Luckily for you though it wasn’t full-on morning sickness, so it was manageable for you to hide from everyone.

“Nah, this ain’t right!” you hear Jones moaning while going through paperwork at his desk, “we keep getting all these crap cases, with no action at all. Y/L/N, what do you think about this crap?”

“Huh?” your head pops up from behind your computer as you blankly scan the room in confusion. “I guess so…” you shrug, popping a saltine cracker in your mouth.

Jones raises a brow at you, “that all you got to say?”

“Mhm-yep…” you mumble with a mouth full of cracker.

“Are you on some sort of diet or something?” Jones suddenly asks.

Taking a sip of your seltzer water to wash the cracker down, you look at him, “why do you ask?”

“Because, you’ve been eating that flavourless crap whole day for the past few days now” Jones answers you.

“Something of the sort, yeah” you reply.

“You need to eat real food, Girly or you’re going to make yourself sick” Jones remarks in disapproval, sounding every bit the middle-aged man that he was.

“I’ll be fine…” you shrug it off with a chuckle, suddenly pausing mid chuckle when you notice; John staring at you with narrowed eyes as if he was trying to figure something out.

“Y/L/N!” you hear the Captain call out your name from his office doorway, “I need to see you for a second.”

A bit confused at why the Captain needed to see you, you enter his office with a nervous frown. “Is something wrong, Captain?”

“No. Not really” he responds with a sigh of regret, “but I’m afraid that I’ll have to bench you sooner than we thought.”

You look at him in surprise then, “what? Why?”

“The others are starting to complain about the high workload being given to them and Jones is complaining about the lack of it” he explains to you.

“I understand…” you drop your head in defeat at the fact that you could no longer avoid the inevitable.

“I’m sorry about this, Kiddo but I have to be fair towards everyone” he looks at you apologetically, “and I also have to make sure that you’re not in any dangerous situations during this pregnancy.”

Nodding at him in understanding, you get up from your seat with sigh, “guess I’ll get started on my new duties…”

“Y/N, hold on...” the Captain stops you from leaving. “There’s something I think you might be interested in. An old buddie of mine called me up recently from Tulsa. They’re opening up an O.C unit, which he’ll be captaining and he was wondering if I could recommend one of my people for the Sergeant’s position.”

“Ok…” you stare at him, a bit puzzled at where he was going with this conversation.

“I recommended you” he informs you.

“B-But I don’t have a sergeants rank” you respond, surprised at what he was telling you, “and I’m pregnant.”

“I know that…” the Captain smirks at your response, “I informed him about it all and he’s still interested in having you as his second. You’re one of my best detectives, all you have to do is take the Sergeants exam and then you’ll be set.”

“I’m honoured that you thought about me for the position” you reply, “but… I’m not sure…”

“Just think on it for a bit” the Captain suggests, “it’s a greater opportunity for you, especially now with a baby on the way.”

Biting your lip in thought, you then nod, “I’ll think about it.”

A Few Days Later

“Morning…” a still half-asleep Dean enter the kitchen with a yawn.

“Good morning, Bubble-butt…” you greet him while tenting to breakfast at the stove.

“Say… what’s this?” you suddenly here him ask out of the blue.

“What?” you turn around to find him staring at your open laptop.

“Are taking the Sergeants exam?” Dean looks up at you in surprise at seeing the opened police manual on your laptop screen.

“Maybe” you shrug, “still thinking about it.”

“Is Harris retiring?” Dean then asks you.

“Nope” you answer.

“Then why are thinking of taking the exam?” Dean looks at you confused, “unless…” his face then shows one of revelation, “are you transferring out?”

“There’s an opening coming up that I was offered” you explain to him, “but it hasn’t been decided yet.”

“Where?” Dean presses for more details, “does Dad know?”

“Can’t tell ya” you answer with a shake of your head, “at least not until I’ve decided. John doesn’t know, no body else but you and the Captain knows and I’d to keep it that way for now.”

“Ok… fine…” Dean huffs out all sulky, “but I wanna be the first to know once you’ve decided.”

With a huge smile on your face, lifting your palm up; you then spit in it and extend the hand out to Dean, “DEAL.”

“I hate it when we have to do these…” Dean pulls a face as he does the same.

“You’re the one started it in the first place” you chuckle at the look on his face as stared at his now spit covered hand.

“Yeah, but that was when we were in the academy and we were mostly drunk when we did it” Dean remarks, physically shuddering as he goes to wash his hands at the sink.

“Fair enough…” you continue to chuckle for a bit longer at him.

Thursday

“Happy- Birthday- to- you-” you entered Dean’s bedroom singing, a piece of pie with a candle in it and a cup of coffee in hand.

“Aww… thank you SIS” Dean smiles at you as he blew out the candle.

“My pleasure, Butthead…” you respond, placing a kiss on his forehead, “breakfast will be ready in 10.”

“You got any aspirin?!” Dean calls out to from the hallway.

“Bathroom medicine cabinet!” you call out in response, regretting those words the instant you said them. You had forgotten that was also the place you kept your prenatal vitamins.

“Dean, wait!” you call out, rushing to your room to stop him from seeing them, but it was too late.

“Err… what are these?” you find a surprised looking Dean standing in your bathroom holding the box in his hand.

“T-That’s nothing” you nervously answer, silently trying to figure a way out of this predicament.

“Really??” Dean arches a brow at you, placing a hand on his hip in a sassy manner, “because there’s a pregnant woman on the box and it clearly says; for pregnant woman. Y/N, are you pregnant?”

Grabbing the box with a sigh, “come on...” you nod for him to follow you to the kitchen.

“Eat your breakfast and I’ll explain everything in a minute” you instruct Dean as you get water to take your vitamins.

Grabbing your breakfast, you take a seat next to Dean, “to answer your question; yes, I am pregnant” you remark, taking a bit of food thereafter.

Dean stares at you with a blank daze for second, “was it that dude from the bar?”

You burst out laughing at his question, “honey, I’m almost twelve weeks. That’s highly impossible.”

“Ok…” Dean seems quite confused then, “do I know the guy?”

Yes. It’s your father. I silently answer in my head. With a faint smile, you reply, “No, was a once off thing.”

“So, you’re doing this on your own?” Dean responds with a frown.

“Yes” you answer.

“Don’t worry” Dean grabs your hand, “I’ll be here for you.”

“Dean, you don’t have to” you tell him.

“Nope” Dean waves his hand in the air to silence your protests, “what kind of BROTHER would I be if I wasn’t there for my SIS in her time of need.”

“Thank you” you smile at him, tears welling up in your eyes.

With a huge smile on his face, Dean excitedly hollers out, “I’m gonna be an UNCLE! Hell yeah!”

Softly chuckling at Dean’s goofiness, you allow him to hug you once more while in the back of your mind you were thinking. No, honey. You’re going to be a big BROTHER again.

Later That Evening

You were feeling miserable with your nausea kicking your ass, but no matter how terrible you felt, you couldn’t pull out of Pub night tonight; not with-it being Dean’s birthday.

You were slouched over the table, head rested in one hand as you lazily snacked on the bowl of salted pretzels in front of you.

“You ok, Y/N/N?” Sam looks at you in concern.

“Huh?” you look up at him.

“You’re aren’t eating any birthday pie” Sam points out, “you just seem to be drowning yourself in those pretzels.”

“It’s probably for the nausea” Dean remarks around a mouth full of pie. “Ouch!” he suddenly cries out when you kick him from underneath the table, sending him a death glare.

Dean’s eyes then widen when he realizes the slipup he had just made. You had made him promise to keep your pregnancy a secret for now from everyone, including Sam and John.

“Nausea?” Sam tilts his in confusion.

“Haven’t being feeling well these past for days” you quickly try to brush it off.

“That’s not good, Y/N/N” Sam looks at you highly concerned now, “have you been to a doctor?”

“Maybe if she got her ass up from that desk she’s been lazing behind then she would be healthier” John sneers out as he glared at you.

“That’s it!” you jump up from your seat, glaring down at John, “I’ve had enough of your fucking bullshit attitude towards me! I thought getting reassigned from you would lessen it, but I guess I was wrong!”

“So, you’re the reason I got stuck with that pussy of a rookie” John smirks at you vindictively, “guess you were too much of a cry-baby that you had to go run to the Captain and complain about 'mean-old John'.”

Shutting your eyes and taking a deep breath, you then open them to look at John once again. “You know what, I don’t have to take this from you anymore and don’t plan doing it for long either.” Grabbing your bag, you turn to Dean, “Happy Birthday, Bub. I’m going to leave before it gets spoilt any further.”

“Seriously, Dad!” Dean glares at his father as Y/N walks away, “did you have to be such an asshole?”

“Watch your mouth, Boy” John warns him with a glare.

“No, Dad” Sam then jumps in, “Dean’s right, you were being a total ass toward Y/N.”

“I was only stating the truth” John shrugs in response, taking a sip of his drink while both his sons stare at him in disappointment.

The next day after the huge blowout between John and yourself, you made the decision to take yourself out of the picture with the Winchesters. You loved Dean and Sam like they were your own siblings but you just couldn’t stand being around their father anymore.

Whatever bit of love you had left for John Winchester had died that night, the man despised you that was clear to see. So, for your own mental health and that of your baby’s you decided to go to your Captain and inform him that you were going to take the Sergeants exam, as well as the job in Tulsa.

After weeks of completely ignoring John; avoiding any and all interaction with him, you throw all your energy into studying and finally taking the Sergeants exam. Dean of course knew about it and that you were going to take the position offered to you, but what he didn’t know; was that it was in another State, you planned on telling him once the time for you to move was nearer.

You were well into your second trimester by this time, so you had begun to wear more looser clothing in order to hide your bump while outside your apartment.

The one thing you were grateful for was that you could freely walk around your apartment without having to hide your pregnancy. After the night of Dean’s birthday, both he and Sam had apologized for their father’s bad behaviour. You of course didn’t hold the BOYS responsible for something they didn’t do, you even allowed Sam in on your secret. He of course was just as excited about it as Dean was to play UNCLE, they both also came to the decision that, John should no longer be allowed to come around the apartment, as stress wasn’t good for you and the baby.

The day had finally come and you had been called in by your Captain; whom happily congratulated and informed you that you passed your Sergeants exam, and that they were eagerly awaiting your arrival in Tulsa in two weeks’ time.

That same night, you arranged a dinner evening with Dean and Sam to inform them about your moving.

“Guys” you speak up to get their attention.

Both of them then look up from their plates to stare at you. “What’s up?” Dean curiously stares at you.

Taking a deep breath, you then continue, “the reason why I called for tonight’s dinner was to inform you that I passed the Sergeants exam and that I’m taking the new position I was offered.”

“Why, Y/N/N, that awesome!” Sam gasps out in excitement, “congratulation!”

“Thank you…” you mutter out, your eyes dropping in somewhat saddest that you were leaving behind the people that you considered to be FAMILY.

“Wait…” Dean furrows his brows in suspicious, “there’s something you’re not telling us.”

“Yes…” you sadly sigh, looking up to them again, “the position, it’s in Tulsa…”

“What?!” both of them yell out at once.

“Shh…” you tell them, “inside-voice, fellas…”

“Sorry” Dean responds in apology, “but did you just say, that you’re moving to Tulsa?”

“Yes” you answer matter-of-factly.

“Why??” Sam stares at you in confusion.

“Because it's a great opportunity” you answer, “especially with a baby on the way.”

“But that means we won’t be around when the baby is born” Dean responds, looking genuinely hurt at the idea.

“You guys can always come visitor” you try to lessen the blow for them.

“But it won’t be the same-” Dean whines out like a little child, “I wanted to witness you becoming a whale first-hand…”

You gasp out, slapping Dean up against the head, “Dumbass.”

“But I’m your Dumbass-” he remarks with a smirk.

“That you are…” you chuckle out as he gets up to pull you in for a hug.

Sam then looks at you, saddest clearly in his eyes as well, “we’re really happy for you, Y/N/N. We’ll miss you, but we understand that you have to do what’s best for you.”

“Aww… Sammy-” you start to tear up, “come over here, you big lug” you motion for him to get in on the hug.

“Does Dad know?” Dean suddenly asks and you physically finch at the question.

“Dean…” Sam scolds at him.

“It’s ok, Sam” you faintly smile at the both of them, “no one in the squadron knows yet. I asked the Captain to wait until tomorrow to make the announcement, wanted you guys to know first.”

“Are you planning on telling him about the baby?” Sam inquires.

“No” you state matter-of-factly, “he can’t stand the look of me as it is, so why should I tell him. You guys can tell him once I’m gone if you want to though, just please wait until I’m gone.”

“Fair enough” both boys agree.

Next Day

To say you were a bit nervous when entering your unit office this morning would be an understatement; today the Captain will be announcing to the entire squadron about your transfer.

You were seated at your desk for only a few minutes after stepping into the office when you noticed the Captain step out of his office.

“Attention everyone, I have a announce to make!” he calls out to the open office floor. Everyone turns their attention towards him them. “Y/L/N, can you please here” the Captain calls you over to his side.

Everyone was looking at you then as you walked over to him, you feeling quite jittery as you stood by his side. “I would like to inform you all that our very own, Y/N over here…” the Captain then pulls you into a side hug while smiling, “has made Sergeant.”

The room is then filled with clapping and cheering as you politely smiled at everyone. “Hold on, that’s not all!” the Captain speaks up for them to quiet down. “as much as this pains me to say” he pauses for second and then continues, “the next two weeks will be Y/N’s last here with us, as she’ll be starting her new position in Tulsa as Sergeant in their new O.C unit.”

There was a huge silence in the room as everyone seemed surprised at the news of you leaving, but the one person’s face that showed far more shock than the others was; John. That’s right asshole, you silently smirked, you won’t be seeing my cry-baby self for much longer.

John found himself completely stunned as he heard the Captain say that Y/N was not only leaving the unit but that she was leaving the state as well. Not being able to properly process the information, John blindly rushes out of the office in order to lower his heartrate at the panic of loosing Y/N. She was leaving… she was leaving the unit, leaving the city, leaving the state and even worse; she was leaving him…

When John finally came to his senses he was driving, where to? He wasn’t exactly sure. Still not able to process all that he had heard, John pulls over in order to call Dean.

“Hey, Dad…” Dean answers the phone.

“Did you know about Y/N?” John immediately asks Dean.

“Uh… what exactly are you referring to?” Dean asks, treading carefully as not to accidently let slip of Y/N’s pregnancy if that wasn’t what John was referring to.

“Her moving to Tulsa” John growls out in frustration.

“Oh, that” Dean responds, “yeah, she told us about it last night.”

“Us?” John enquires.

“Sammy and I” Dean replies.

“And you didn’t think to maybe let me know about it?” John growls out at what he thought was a betray on his boys’ part for keeping him out of the loop.

“Well, you were such a dick to her lately” Dean responds, “thought you wouldn’t care to know.”

“She’s been my partner for the past five years” John snaps at him, “of course I’d want to know!”

“Didn’t seem like that was the situation of late” Dean mutters, “she believes you hate her.”

“I don’t hate her…” John whispers out softly, shocked to hear what Y/N thought.

“Well, you sure have some way of showing that you don’t” Dean remarks.

She thinks I hate her? SHIT. Truth was, that he was mad at himself for not being man enough to step-up and tell her how he truly felt about her. Truth was, John was madly in love with Y/N, something that he hadn’t left since the day he lost Mary and that scared the hell out of him. Could he open his heart up again and run the risk of having it torn out again? That was something that constantly ate at him, John feared loving someone again only to have her ripped away from him. This time though things were different, because the one ripping Y/N away from him was himself; he pushed her too far with his inner struggles, he pushed away the woman that he loved.

John lets out a heavy sigh, “I have to go, son” ending the call.

You had taken a half day from work in order to prepare for your move to Tulsa; first you went to your doctor to see to having your medical records transferred for the rest of the duration of your pregnancy, thereafter you headed to the bank.

You were standing in line, awaiting your turn when suddenly two masked men came rushing in; guns waving about. “Everyone put your hands up and nobody move!” the one robber yells out.

Doing your best to remain calm, you do exactly what they had instructed; the cop in you struggling to remain dormant as the mother in you took control, knowing you had to do everything in your power to ensure the safety of your unborn child.

“Everyone, take out your phones and wallets!” the one robber instructs and everyone obeys, “now I want you to toss ‘em on the floor and then my partner is gonna come around to collect all your jewellery and wallets! Don’t try anything stupid or I’ll shoot you!”

You do as told and when it was your turn, you remove whatever jewellery you were wearing and toss it in the bag that the robber held out in front of you.

“Hey!” the robber then begins waving his gun in your face, pointing toward the silver chain that was sticking out from underneath your shirt, “didn’t my partner just say, all of your jewellery?”

Staring down at it, you then calmly look him in the eyes, “that’s not jewellery.”

“Bullshit! Then what is it huh?!” he snaps at you, reaching out to pull it out from your shirt. “FUCK!” his eyes widen in shock once his sees your badge daggling from it.

“What?!” his partner yells out in confusion.

“She’s a fucking cop!” he responds.

“What the fuck?!” his partner begins to visibly panic, “SHIT! You got a gun on you?”

Remaining calm, you reply, “yeah.”

“Ok…” he mutters out, becoming more agitated by the second, “take it out real… slowly… and hand it over to my partner.”

Calmly exhaling, you slowly reach for your shoulder holster that was hidden inside your coat to remove your gun. As you unholster and pull it out, you suddenly hear the loud bang of a gun going off, along with those of people screaming out in fear. Your eyes are wide with shock as you feel a warm, burning sensation in your chest.

“What the fuck?!” the robber standing in front of you cries out, looking at his partner in shock and then back at you.

Slowly your eyes drop downward to your chest, and that’s when you realized; that you were the one that was shot. Your knees suddenly give out from under you as you drop to the floor, your hand clutched at the wound in order to stop the bleeding.

“You shot her!” the robber stares at his partner, “you shot a fucking cop!” He then looks down at you on the floor and that’s when he notices your bump, “FUCK! She’s pregnant! You shot a pregnant cop!”

“She was about to draw on us!” his partner yells out in a hyped panic.

“No, she wasn’t!” the robber yells back at his partner, “she was handing it over, like you ordered her to do, you idiot!”

“Well, she moved too fast for my liking. How was I supposed to know!” his partner argues back.

“Shit! This place is going to be crawling with cops soon” the robber remarks in a state of panic, “lets get the fuck out of here!”

You laid there on the cold floor; bleeding and in pain, trying your best to remain calm and not panic as the fear for your baby’s life took over. As you felt yourself become weaker, the fact that you might be dying and might never get the chance to say goodbye to the BOYS ran through you mind. But what haunted you the most was; that John would never know how much you TRULY loved him, that he would never get to meet his child. The tears were flowing down your cheeks as you fought to stay alive, but your eyes soon began to feel heavy and suddenly there was nothing but darkness.

“Where’s Winchester?!” the Captain rushes out of his office in a panic.

“I think he went to take a leak” Jones answers from behind his desk, looking confused as he watches the Captain sprint down the hallway.

“John! Thank God…” the Captain exhales breathlessly as he catches John exiting the men’s bathroom.

“Captain?” John stares at him in concern, “are you ok?”

“I’m fine…” he exhales, waving his hand, “but we need to get to the hospital…”

“Why? What happened?” John looks at him in confusion.

“There was a shooting an-” he tries to explain but gets cut off by John. “Dean?!” John stares at him in panic.

“No…” the Captain shakes his head.

“Sam?” John asks then, at a loss to what was going now.

“No, it’s not your boys” the Captain responds, “it’s Y/N, she’s been shot.”

“What?!” John stares at him in shock, all colour drained from his face, “b-but… she went home early… how?”

“She did” the Captain replies, “there was an attempted robbery at the bank that she was in.”

Not even hearing the Captain’s words anymore, John rushes to his desk; grabbing his keys and runs out of the office.

“What’s up with Winchester?” Jones asks the Captain as he watched John running out like he was being chased by the devil himself.

“Y/N’s been shot in an attempted bank robbery” the Captain explains, heading to grab his own keys.

“Excuse me…” John rushes towards the hospital emergency reception desk out of breath, “has a Detective Y/L/N been brought in? Gunshot victim.”

“And you are?” the nurse enquires.

“I’m here partner” John replies, flashing his badge at her.

“She was brought in five minutes ago” the nurse responds, “they’re working on her as we speak to save both her and the baby.”

“Baby??” John echoes, stunned at her words.

“Yes” the nurse nods, “according to medical records she’s about five months pregnant.”

Five months? The undercover job were they… that means…

John’s thoughts are then interrupted by the arrival of the Captain, along with Dean and Sam.

“Dad!” Dean rushes up to him, “how’s she doing?”

“I don’t know…” John lets out a tense breath, “I was told that they’re still working on her.”

As they all waited for the news as to how Y/N was, John silently sat in a corner; mulling over what the nurse had told him. Was I really that bad? John thinks to himself. Was he really that horrible for Y/N to decide to hide her pregnancy from him. Choosing to move to another state rather than have him be a father to her child. He knew the baby was his, there was no doubt about it. The question now was; would he ever get the chance to be a father to that child and will he ever get the chance to tell Y/N that he LOVED her.

It was well over two hours when a doctor came to speak with them. “Are you here for Detective Y/L/N?” the doctor asks.

“Yes, how is she?” the Captain asks.

“It was touch-and-go for a while but we managed to stop the bleeding” the doctors explained, “had the bullet gone a few cm’s to the right, she wouldn’t have been so lucky…”

John exhaled a breath of relief that she was ok, but then he remembered…

“And the BABY?” Dean suddenly asks, causing John to wheel around in surprise.

“You knew she was pregnant?” John stares at him in disbelief.

“Yes” Dean guiltily drops his head.

“And you didn’t tell me?!” John excuses him.

“It’s not Dean’s fault, Dad” Sam defends his brother, “she asked us not to… said we could once she had left for Tulsa.”

“You knew too?!” John looks to Sam with a betrayed face.

“Of course…” Sam stares back at him in confusion.

“I’m guessing you knew too” John glares at the Captain, “of course you knew! That’s why you benched her.”

“Look Dad, it was Y/N’s decision not to tell you and her right as well” Sam tries to make John see reason.

“What about my rights?!” John snares at him, “I had a right to know!”

Dean looks at his father in confusion, “why would you- OH…” his eyes widen once the dots have connected. “Five months ago, you and Y/N were alone undercovering… that means… it’s you… you’re the FATHER of Y/N’s baby.”

“Honestly, I’m not surprised…” the Captain chuckles out, “all my years, I’ve never seen partners so close and completely in sync as you two were.”

“I’m not surprised either” Sam smirks, John then arches a brow at him and he continues on, “I always knew she had feelings for you. I could see it in her eyes, especially on those nights you’d leave the Pub with a woman. I could see the heartbreak.”

John physically flinches at Sam’s remark, hating himself for having caused Y/N so much pain.

All this time when he was picking up random women in a quest to distract himself of his want for Y/N, he was in actual fact hurting her far worst than he could have possibly have known. John had no idea that Y/N felt the same for him as he did her. If he had known; those women would never even had been in existence for him then, she would have been the ONLY woman to exist for him. Truth be told, after having been with her… no one was good enough; no other woman could get his mind off of her. The last woman had slept with was Y/N, he had tried to get her off his mind with that blonde that evening but with just one kiss; John knew that he wouldn’t be able to get himself to sleep with her no matter how hard he tried. Because there was only one woman that he wanted and that woman was; Y/N.

“So, I was the only one that didn’t see this coming?” Dean looks dumbfounded by it all.

“That’s because you’re an idiot” Sam answers with a snicker, “and you two are as close as siblings and you wouldn’t have thought of her and Dad in such a manner.”

Dean pauses deep in thought, then nods in agreement, “true…”

John shakes his head at his sons in amusement, then turns to the doctor, “when can we see her?”

“She’s still under sedation but should come around in the half an hour or so, you can go in to see her though” the doctor answers.

“Thank you doctor…” John responds and heads for Y/N’s room.

Opening her eyes, Y/N finds herself lying on a bed in an unfamiliar bedroom.

Getting up from the bed, you look around the room, “where am I?” you ask out loudly in confusion, letting out a gasp upon catching your reflection in the mirror. “Why am I not pregnant anymore?!” you yell out in panic, clutching your middle, “where’s my baby?!”

Rushing out of the bedroom, stopping in your tracks when you’re standing in a hallway. Slowly you begin to walk it as you look at the pictures hanging on the walls; pictures of the BOYS when they were little, the ones of Dean and you graduating the academy, other pictures that you had taken with the Boys and John over the years. But it was the ones after those that had you at a puzzled shock, they were of John and you together, they were wedding pictures; your and John’s wedding. The two of you were lovingly staring at each other as you stood in front of a church, then there was a second with the Boys standing next to the two of you. The next were of a smiling John standing behind a heavily pregnant you as he rested his chin on your head while cradling your belly in the palm of his hands. The final one was a picture of you; lying in a hospital bed, John had his head rested against yours while you both were staring down and smiling at the baby sleeping on your chest.

Tearfully smiling at the picture, you reach out to touch it when suddenly you hear a sound coming from down the hall. Your curiosity getting the better of you, you move towards the sound to see what it was.

Reaching the slightly closed door, you slowly push it open and there sitting in a rocking chair across from you was; John gently cradling a bundle in his arms as he rocked back and forth in the chair.

“You’re awake…” John smiles at you, stretching his hand out, “come here SWEETHEART.”

“Is that?” you ask staring at the bundle he was holding.

“She finally fell asleep, but I think she was looking for her MAMA, that’s why she was so fussy” John replies.

“She??” you look at John in surprise as you stepped closer to them.

Just as you reached them, you suddenly felt the room begin to spin. “What’s happening?!” you clutch at your head, “John!” you try to grab onto him as you felt yourself slowly slipping away….

You let out a soft moan as your eyes slowly fluttered opened, “where am I?” remembering the shooting, your first reaction was to reach for your stomach and that’s when you realize that someone was holding your hand. “John?”

“You’re awake…” John gently smiles, lifting your hand up and kissing it.

“W-What are you doing here?” you pull your hand away, confused at his sudden change in behaviour.

“We came as soon as we heard what happened” John answers, looking slightly disappointed at your reaction towards him.

“We?” you ask.

“The Captain and the Boys are outside, only one person was allowed while we waited for you to wake up” John explains, “I’ll go get them.”

“Hey sleepy head…” Dean smiles at you.

“Glad to see you’re awake” the Captain smiles at you as well.

Looking behind him, you see Sam silently studying you with a worried look oh his face. “Sammy?”

“You ok?” he asks, a faint smile on his face as you reach out your hand for him to come closer.

“I’m fine…” you answer grabbing hold of his hand.

Turning to Dean with your over hand, you grab hold of his hand, “the ba-”

“The baby is fine…. According to the doctors; she’s a fighter, just like her mother” John answers before you could even finish your sentence.

“She??” you look at him surprised that the dream you had about the baby being girl was correct.

“It’s a girl, yes” John smiles at you.

“Guess that we’ll have to redo that custom-made onesie we had made for her” Dean suddenly remarks.

“What do you mean?” you stare at him puzzled.

“Well it says on the front; ‘My Uncles got my back, so don’t mess with me’ and at the back is a picture of Sam and I” Dean replies, “but now we’ll have to change it to; ‘My BROTHERS got my back.”

Your eyes widen at him in shock, “how did you find out?”

“Your five months pregnant, it wasn’t that hard to figure out” John mutters out, staring at you like a wounded animal.

“I think that the two of you have some things to discuss, so I’m going to go” the Captain speaks up, “glad that you and the baby are safe.”

“Yeah… we’re gonna go too” Dean remarks as well, “we’ll drop by later again.”

The room was awkwardly silent once they all had left, neither you nor John saying a word. Placing a hand on your stomach, you suddenly smile when feeling the baby kick at it.

“What it?” John looks at you in concern, “what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, she just kicked” you answer smiling at the fact that she was alive and well.

“C-Can I feel?” John looks to you with a pleading look.

Silently staring at him for a second, you then let out a sigh and nod at him to go ahead.

Very nervously, yet carefully, John slowly reaches out his hand to place on your stomach. The baby then begins kicking up a storm against his hand and John lets out a soft laugh of be-wonderment and you give a faint smirk at it.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he stares up at you.

“You hated me…” you shrug, “didn’t think you’d care to know.”

“I don’t hate you…” John sighs out, “I could never hate you.”

“Well you’ve been treating me like shit these past months” you remark, “what else could it be.”

“I was mad at myself and took it out on you” John responds, ashamed at his past behaviour, “I’m sorry for making you think that I hated you.”

“Why were you mad at yourself?” you ask confused by what he was telling you.

“Because I couldn’t tell you how I truly felt” John answers.

“Felt about what?” you press him further.

“About you… how I felt about you” John reaches up to cup your cheek, “I LOVE you, Y/N. I have for years… since the very first day I met you.”

“Well you had a funny way of showing it” you look at him with tears in your eyes, “flaunting women in front of me.”

“I was only with them to get you off of my mind” John tells you, “I knew that we could never be because of your close relationship with the Boys. That you would never see me as anything else but your partner and the father of those that you considered as your brothers.”

“I thought the same thing about you…” you softly whisper out.

John softly caresses your cheek, “the first time, when I took you up against the wall… it wasn’t because I figured out they were keeping tabs on us. It was because I was jealous at how that asshole was flirting with you.”

“What?” you look at him in surprise.

“I couldn’t fight it anymore” John faintly smiles at you, “and all the other times after. I hated myself for using the job as an excuse but I was on cloud nine because I got to be with you. Heck, after that, no other woman could compare to you after that.”

“Until that blonde you took home” you remark, pulling away from his caress.

“I didn’t sleep with her” John responds.

“Yeah right” you snort out at him, “you couldn’t get her out of the Pun fast enough.”

“It’s true” John tells you, “we never even made it to my car before she kissed me and I realized she wasn’t you. Besides, I only struck up a conversation with her to make you jealous after the way you were flirting with that guy.”

“I wasn’t flirting him” you defend yourself, “he was flirting and I was trying not to be rube.”

“Well you slow danced with him” John looks at you accusingly.

“That’s because you brought that bimbo over to our table and I wanted to make you jealous.”

John then starts laughing, “look at the two of us… acting like teenagers; trying to make each other jealous because we couldn’t make ourselves admit our feelings…”

“We do sound kind of sound stupid, yeah…” you begin laughing as well. You then look at him with a more serious face, “so… you LOVE me…”

John grins at you, “I do… and you?”

Shyly biting into your lip, you grin back at him, “I LOVE you too…”

“That might be the second-best news I’ve gotten in a long time” John smiles at you.

“Second?” you look at him disappointed, “what was the first then?”

John smiles at your reaction, placing a hand on your stomach then, “finding out that you were carrying OUR little girl.”

Your eyes begin to tear up then as you stared at him. “Aww… SWEETHEART don’t cry…” John console you, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“So, where do we go from here?” you stare up into his eyes.

“First, we get you healed up” John declares, “then you and I are getting married, so that we’ll be a real FAMILY. That’s if you’ll have me.”

“I’ll have your dumbass, yeah…” you smile at him.

“But I’m your dumbass…” John smiles back at you.

“That you are…” you respond pulling him down for a kiss.

Three Years Later

John and you stood silently on the back porch of your house as the two of your watched Dean and Sam playing with their little sister.

“What’s on your mind?” John asks, stepping behind you to rest his chin on your head.

“That I’m actually kind of glad I got shot that day” you respond.

“Seriously?” John arches a brow down at you.

“I know it sounds a bit crazy…” you chuckle, “but if it hadn’t happened, then I would have left for Tulsa and this…” you nod towards the scene in front of you, “you and me, along with Katie and the Boys, being a family… it never would have been a possibility.”

“Do you regret not going to Tulsa and taking that promotion?” John asks seeming a bit uneasy.

Tilting your head up to look at John, you cup his cheek, “of course not. I could never regret choosing OUR family.”

Smiling down at you, John reaches down to caress your belly, “how’s our little guy doing?”

“He’s doing fine, just kicking the heck out of me” you respond with a groan.

“He’s a Winchester, what do you expect…” John chuckled.

“He definitely is your son…” you chuckle as well.

“I love you, MRS. WINCHESTER…” John smiles down at you.

“I love you too, Mr Winchester…” you respond smiling as John captured your lips in a kiss.

Breaking the kiss, “how’s work?” you ask him.

“Well…” John’s exhales deeply, “it’s been some getting used to, but I’m ok with it. Things just weren’t the same without you as my partner, so I’m happy with where I am now.”

After the shooting John and you had both agreed that maybe it was best for you to retire. John out of fear of possibly losing you again with the danger of the job and because you didn’t want him to have to go through the heartache of losing another wife and having to raise your child on his own. And as luck would have it, a few months after that, Harris had retired as Sergeant and John got promoted; turns out the jerk had taken the exam years ago but chose to remain in the position he was. Luck would happen again the begin of this year, as the Captain decided to retire and he made sure to push for John to take over from him.

“Aww… you miss me that much PARTNER?” you coo at him in amusement.

“We’re PARTNERS IN CRIME, sweetheart” John grins down at you.

“And now, PARTNERS IN LIFE” you smile back at him.

John presses his forehead against yours, “PARTNERS FOREVER…”

tags: @melixson @regalbanshee

#john winchester #john winchester x you #john winchester x reader #detective john winchester #detective reader #supernatural #Jeffrey Dean Morgan #JDM

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tombeane-blog · 4 days

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My Coconut Diagnosis

"You put the lime in the coconut, you drink 'em both together Put the lime in the coconut, then you feel better Put the lime in the coconut, drink 'em both up Put the lime in the coconut, call me in the morning"

Harry Nilsson - "Coconut"

"Why do you keep going to the gym Tom? Shouldn't you be relaxing and enjoying retirement instead of pushing your body way beyond normal human limits Navy Seal Style all while your gym-mates just stand around you with mouths agape gawking in awe."

"Well Vern, I have two goals:

1) I want to outlive each and every person on Earth that ever hurt me in even the slightliest of slightly ways, literally, alliteratively and figuratively.

2). And if I'm lucky, I may hear this conversation as I float far far above heading to the great beyond.

Mortician's Assistant: "For someone of his advanced age Mr. Beane is in great condition."

Mortician: "Well, yeah Vern. All except for the whole being completely dead part!"

I do admit I spend more time with doctors these days than I ever have before.

Recently while waiting on-line to computer schedule a checkup I was listening to elevator music - occasionally interrupted by minuiated facts about the human eye.

From that I learned that the human eye can distinguish more than 10 million colors.

Which caused me to wonder... why can't I name more than 6 colors without using adjectives like dark or light?

After a long and pointless wait, I went old school and called to speak to a human. While waiting I was reading my provider's pre-appointment questions.

One of which was, Is a patient language interpreter required?

I'm thinking, "Cool. Personal service!".

When a human finally answered I requested an interpreter with a West Texas accent.

At my appointment:

"Doc, as usual I've done exhaustive research on The Google and I know precisely what is wrong with me and what you should be doing to fix it. But....... just to be thorough I'd like a second opinion."

"Ig..hack..orant..cough..id..mmph...iot!"

"What did you say Doc?"

"Nothing. I was just clearing my throat."

"Sounded like you said something."

"No. I think I said enigma or idiom or something like that. Pay no attention. Just medical muttering."

"Lets get back to your checkup shall we? Listening to your heart I think your extra heartbeats are sounding a little different today."

"(Hmmm, he murmurs as he continues.) It looks like you are becoming a very interesting patient!"

"Is interesting for you scary for me?"(This is followed by 30 seconds of semi-understandable medical word parsing.)

Thus began two plus weeks of tests to include three sets of blood work followed by a whole crap load of medical 'grams' - electro, sono, insta and I think one very uncomfortable mammo for some reason.

All of which concluded with me wearing a heart monitor for 48 hours.

After all of that, I go find my cardiologist for his assessment.

I won't confuse my friends from Resume Speed, Georgia with all the medical jargon - so to put it simply the diagnosis was, "You've had these PVCs forever Tom. There's no problem. Everything is just Hunky-Dory."

All the way home I was trying to figure out how I was gonna break the news to my wife that everything was fine and she had nothing to worry about.

I mean let's be honest, she's been saying for a long time, "I don't know if I could ever live without you Tom.... but I think almost every day I might like to give it a try".

0 notes

xarrixii · 4 months

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Cinder_23 : "Conscious" ━━━━━━━━━━━━━

CW: previous chapter | beginning | masterlist

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“Hey, you.” A familiar voice scratches from somewhere. “R&D sends its thanks. Half the guys in the main data vault have never seen fire controlled so precisely before. Jackstalk fucked you up good, huh?”

Harlow stirred, eyes gently resting on Dawn.

“I’m not the greatest bedside care, but Liam’s busy making sure the cops don’t have anything on the situation yet. I’d say other people would stand here, but…” Dawn shrugs, complacent. “Sorry. Touchy. Uh⸺ Permission to help? You’ve been out for a while, and Liam was insisting we don’t touch you besides actively open wounds.”

He gazed down at the red-soaked bandage around one hand, flexing it against the sheets only slightly before it erupted with pain. “Yeah, yeah, go for it.”

“You need meds? I’m sure Doc would happily oblige.”

“I, water, probably.” He barely remembered a thing, just the noise of electricity flying around him. Dawn nods, whisking herself away and returning with tea instead.

“Doc said cold water would fry you again, and I don’t know if you like water warm, so this was the next best thing.”

Harlow lets a laugh escape him. “I’ll trust the guy with the degree.”

Dawn sets the cup on a table, moving to adjust the mattress.

“No, no, I can probably⸺”

He moves to push himself up, shock ringing throughout every last nervous cell he probably had working. It definitely was not his muscles falling asleep. Someone had zapped him half to death.

“That’s why I was doing it. If it helps, Doc snuck pain meds into the tea when he thought I wasn’t looking. How does this thing even work? He said it was simple…”

“Doc’s the guy in the doorway?” Harlow feels as though he’s set himself on fire. Dawn swivels her head.

“Doc! A little help?”

“I’ll take it from here.” He strides into the room, taking Dawn’s place beside the bed and shifting the upper half more vertically. Dawn left, leaving only Doc’s piercing gaze as he went for the sink behind a cupboard door. “Jackstalk sends his condolences. He thought you were a similar threat as Raijin.”

“Clue me in, will you?”

“Raijin’s the guy you mutilated in yesterday morning’s rainshower. I had to set an appointment up for the bastard the moment I saw it.”

“When did I…?” Harlow watches Doc dry his hands, walking back over with a pair of gloves he strings on. The memories come back in a wave. “Raiden. Where’s⸺”

“Gone.” Doc is blunt as he picks up the tea.

“Gone?”

“Amaterasu sent out a search party last night when Liam came to the new tower with you slung over him. If it brings you any solace, her little signal’s making her walk in flats today.”

Harlow’s heart pounded, recalling the reason he’d fought Raijin in the first place. No. No.

“Don’t dwell on it right now. There’s nothing anyone will let you do about it until you’re moving again regardless. Here.” Doc helps Harlow with choking down some of the tea. “Need anything else before that kicks in?”

“Who is… you said their name was Jackstalk?”

“He⸺” Doc’s voice filters out with his thoughts drifting off.

He takes in a sharp breath of air, coughing.

“Kid,” Liam rushes over. A patch covered one side of his jawline. “Doc said the tea probably hit you back under. Didn’t expect the aftermath of Jackstalk to be that detrimental. Kicked you out for an extra two days. What kinds of soup you like?”

“Hold on.” Harlow lifted a strained arm over his chest, taking in a few moments. There was an IP drip and heart monitor now. “What’s all of this for?”

Liam slowly blinked, looking at the monitor before staring back. “You almost died.”

“Wait, wait,” Harlow coughed a few more times, pain racketing out from his chest. “What, what do you mean I almost died? How the hell did, I was fine before I passed out.”

“Amat⸺” Liam paused. “The initial search party came back with nothing.”

Harlow connected the dots from there. He hadn’t expected much himself, only something bordering on hope. Raiden woke up, spotted waving on a rooftop, speeding down a highway, anything. Then he remembered his last conversation with Doc. “Everyone keeps talking about this Jackstalk guy like I’m supposed to know who they’re talking about.”

“I think it’d be better to just meet him. First, soup.”

“Anything is fine. I’m not picky.”

“Right. I’ll come back with soup. And Jackstalk. Especially the soup.”

“Some part of me liked you better when you were being an asshole.”

“There’s a difference between being an ass and being an asshole, and that difference is whatever the difference between me and you is.”

Harlow chuckled as Liam left, drifting out again.

“Mmm,” Harlow was uncomfortably jerked awake, the lonely rumbling of a ceiling fan overhead.

Sunset filtered in through a nearby window, his phone vibrating against the nightstand. This time, there was no one waiting around him. He raked a hand through his hair, shying back at the pain it brought. There was a calendar on the wall he assumed Liam had been marking off. September 20.

With a groan, Harlow sat up and picked up the phone, stifling down just how much everything ached.

“Hello?”

He sank back into the pillows at the voice that responded. “Where are you?”

“Out.” He could almost smell the way his mother was smoking out on the balcony.

“And that is not home, why?”

That was not a question he knew how to answer.

“Harlow,” the name grit through her teeth.

“Mmm?”

She hung up the line with an irritated grumble, allowing Harlow to pull the phone back and look at all of the missed calls. Another coughing fit exploded along his lungs suddenly, phone slipping from his hand and clattering along the floor.

The door creaked open, Liam helping him sit upright again. Liam set the phone back on the nightstand.

“Don’t⸺” He shuddered out. “Don’t. I’m fine.”

“Urban,” Liam said with a tone alike to that of when he’d been begging him to retreat with the rest of Cinder.

“Has anyone found Raiden?”

Liam’s face dropped. It was all the answer he needed. “Will you stay awake long enough for me to make you food?”

“I can try.”

He left the door mostly ajar to a view of the hallway, television left on. The news was apparently still covering the old Cinder building collapsing, despite several days passing. He couldn’t exactly blame them, the police must’ve been losing their minds over it.

Shit. Raiden’s dad.

Harlow reached over for his phone again, biting back the pain as he opened it up and speed-dialed his number. It picked up relatively quickly.

“Urban, Christ. Where have you and that rascal been?”

“It’s… it’s complicated. Um… you can’t tell anyone.”

“We both know⸺ One second, Urban.” Garry Roy shouted back at the rambunctious Ty in the background before returning. “We both know what happened the last time I agreed to that, but what’s up?”

He didn’t realize how difficult this would be until it came to it.

He decided to leave out most of the details.

“Raiden went missing.” Whatever Garry had been doing, he stopped. Strain hacked away at his voice. “And I’m pretty sure it’s my fault.”

“Urban,” Garry’s voice was even, “I can almost certainly assure you that there is no way something like that could be your fault. Unless you yourself threw them into the back of a van and drove it off a cliff, it couldn’t have been you.”

Damn it.

Liam came back in holding a tray, frowning at the phone. “Kid, come on. You can barely move. Focus on yourself first.”

It was very easy to strangle the phone free from his hand, and Liam held it up to his own ear. Liam stayed silent for a few seconds. “Amaterasu’s looking for Raiden. Hold off reports for as long as you can, keep the building incident away from their name. It doesn’t matter how, that’s how you’re going to disconnect the two.”

After a few more seconds, Liam tapped the phone off and gave Harlow a look of pity.

“Look, kid. I don’t care what anyone says, as soon as you get your strength back, if you want to help us look for them, I will let you in a heartbeat. Please eat something.”

Liam left again, keeping the door open only by a crack.

Harlow brought his knees up to his chest and started crying.

next chapter

━━━━━━━━━━━━ ▲ missing a content warning? let me know

#fiction #original story #original characters #magic #dystopian #fantasy #angst #i am not a medical professional #i do not give out medical advice #but i can say you shouldnt get hit by lightning #would suck

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deep-dark-wisps · 1 year

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I have always stated that once I was done having kids, I have a hysterectomy because of periods and the high risk of cancer! Seriously! I had have genetic screening in my late 20s.i was probably on 3 or 4 cancer scares. It was either the precancerous cells on my cervix or cysts in my breast that urged me to get tested at Mount Sensi for my cancer risk. I am a carried of that B1 gene or something.

After Kj, i want 1 more child...BUT, a hugh but. i was very sick during my pregnancy.. i was for 11 weeks with my first son, A. Post baby with an ob, thst totally miss the preclamsia because she want to wait for csection after she had vacation for a week. Believe i fought to ve hear and seen...it took another doctor to over ride her descision. She made it clear, that i should highly get a hysterectomy. Another pregnancy could very well kill me or the unborn child.. My nurse praticnor felt the same. Here I am 6 weeks post partum/ death hearing now my uterus gotta go! ( Due to medical factors, which of years talking with Np, that birth control wise, this best option)

September 22 to Feb, denied, denied! The reason.. Your 38 years old and childless... You still may want children.. My Np, was like WTF. In my refferal I gave sound medical reasoning for such surgery...In Feb, for some reason, I believe the urogolist request a update ulteasound on my pelvis...Even before I got talk to Np about my scan or the urologist, the radiogology ask for a follow up in April.

The found a "cystc" formjng on left ovary, my uterus was congested and possible bump too. Was it left over from csection? My lining was thicker then normal since Kj birth.. Ok so they concern.. My Np..could wait till April for my next ultrasound, I am booked for March...

My uterus now has a bigger mass, cloudy, there growths that looks like the ones burn off my cervix 8 ish year prior. Those were precancerous.. The cystc on my ovary grow that may not be a cystc..

Um ok, I am scare... Np now very concern.. I been to m ER i n pain that rock your core.April I have 3 rd ultrasound in 3 months.. They "cystcs" are not really cystc like because they wven bigger!

It reach the point to be honeest, that I am throwing up every day, my bladder not holding well from the weight of my ovary and uterus. There is torsion and my uterus already tilted.. I was already having bladder issues from bad gentics.. So, urologist stated a bladder sling is vital for my health.. He want that sling put in same time as hysterectomy because, I have be open for both and recovery time same thing.Yes, some Gyneos that that.

I am 9 month into quest to have my surgery, I am in serve pain and cannot afford my cannibis that only thing controlling the pain. I am deem emegency. I been denied like 5 times, here in Barrie. I cannot trust the one in Barrie who he do consult due to wont listen to my bestie and blotched her surgeries not 1 but 2x. She need a new doc who can exactly do the surgergy properly..I cannot trust the one in Alliston.. Where next?

Well, that surgeon will not being doing my surgery.. Went to Alliston today. It took 10 mins of my time, to find out she won't be listening to me as patient and concerns.. It will be her agenda, her way and despite 5 doctors/ nurse praticnors stating I need the surgery, and the following things...It her way.I cannot trust her to lay on a table stressing she can complete the surgery complexities, even if she did the surgery.

She felt surgery was not best option, I did not need the biospy,and despite my medical history, a iud was the answer..Um no,that option explore for last 10 years.. and cannot even be consideration.

3 strikes happen rapidly in this appointment....she could not repair the bladder, not her area, she just a plain gyneo..At this point, fine I just have be open again but the way my uterus twisting and pulling my bladder down, it should be taken care of immediatly. 2nd strike, she said looking at your history, you need a Iud. My just dropped. I clearly stated, No, not option be explore hence I am here.. The subject should been closed.. No she march on with her slew of words of great a Iud and me saying No, no, no! I am not dven discussing further. So, with both us puff up, she states I wont be doing a biospy because it not needed. I just glare, she like fine... I do it, if makes you feel better...That was broken my camel back.. I like thank you, but we done. I got up and walk out.

My so called avocate fawn, and sat glue to their seat. Then reliaze, I seriously left..They said I act like child back there.. I like I brought you to fight with me not against me..Needless say, they not invite back to my doctor battles. Thy turn in a wall flower, beliving in the false fallocy of doctors are right, patients are stupid therefore, we should comply. I was not being a child to b clear.. i spoke calmly, held my position, and when, I was not being heard, I simply left.

People stop being sheep to the medical system.. Wake the fuck up.. You allow to say No, you can fired your doctor if not happy. If they did injustice to you, pin their ass to provial wall of accountabilty!

Mic drop..

Abz

#encouragement #self help

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floral-hex · 1 year

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First appointment today with the audiologist and it went.. baaaaad. Not a good start. Basically said my ears look fine inside, made me feel stupid, told me I was rambling, just… blegh. I’m sure My memories about it are more negative than the actual event, but it really felt bad. So my hearing is just fucked. And I made ANOTHER appointment with my hearing aid doc, for May, but I’m not hopeful. Just going to hear more nothing advice. Depressing. So it’s almost 1am now. I’m incredibly depressed still. Still feeling hopeless and anxious and hard to focus. I didn’t want to be awake at night again, but I had to sleep today (benadryls and no sleep the night before will do that to you). I’m gonna do dishes and then probably go out for another drive later. Last nights drive was nice, and while I really don’t have the funds to keep buying myself little treats and wasting gas, I think needing to get through this period right now is more important. I have an appointment for my mental health in the afternoon where I’ll beg for some Xanax or something fast working to help while whatever new antidepressant I get on works its way into me. It’ll be okay. I mean, I want to disappear. I feel like a ghost living on a dead planet, but it’ll be okay. The sun doesn’t stop existing just because you can’t see it at night, so I just have to believe and hold on until it comes out again… or whatever. Something profound like that. Pretend I’m hopeful.

Anyway, here’s Oreo, who always wants attention. He’s napping next to me now, but was nice enough to raise his head for this pic when I poked him.

#Hey!#how bout all these text posts?#I added a cat pic because I feel bad choking your timeline without something worthwhile interjected #I’M! SO! ALONE!#hey… this is desperate and stupid and cringey… but…#if you live in central arkansas and want to send me a message just saying ‘hey I live here too!’ that’d be cool #I mean I probably wouldn’t really talk but there is something comforting knowing that there are actually people living nearby #I need to stop being awake at night while everyone is asleep #it doesn’t help the loneliness when no one else is out and about #I miss 24hr stores or gyms I could hang out in at late at night and feel like I’m actually in a living world #are you real? are you alive?#anyway the doctor today made me fill like shit #it’s all just basically ‘who fucking knows. get used to it.’#first off: DEPRESSING. second: what if I need to get on disability if I can’t work a job? Third: VERY DEPRESSING!#I’ve been seeing doctors about this for what a couple of years now? and he makes it seem like I’ve barely done anything.#fuckiiiiiing…. dude…. not nice #maybe I can be a truck driver. that’d be cool. just sit in a truck all day. i like driving. that’d be very lonely tho #I need to reiterate that I CAN still hear. on good days my hearing is rad. I’ve just been having really bad days where everything is BAD!#my hearing actually cleared up a bit today and I can hear decently. but this persistent tinnitus is driving me crazy #my mom corrected me today and said ‘you’re not crazy… it’s DRIVING you crazy but you’re not crazy.’#I thought that was funny. but it’s nice to know an actual other person can see how this is affecting me #anyway. it’s 1am. it’s too quiet which is never really quiet for me. I have the tv up. I drank coffee. I need to distract myself now.#okay I love you #you can ignore this #text

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christowhore · 3 years

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Redeeming Myself

pairing: chris evans x professor!fem!reader

summary: after breaking your heart and losing your trust, chris makes it his mission to prove to you how much you mean to him.

word count: 6.3k

warnings: age gap (reader is 29, chris is 40), angst, reminiscing on past actions, fluff, talks with therapist, chris makes up for bad behavior, slight alcohol consumption, smut, happy endings, rpf !!! 18+ MINORS DNI !!!

notes: the final installment of Pining for Professor. it was only supposed to be a one shot, but i got inspired and expanded it. it took a while cause writers block, but it’s here. for anyone who has read the series, thank you and hope you enjoy ! 💓🥰

i do not allow the reposting, rewriting or translating of my fics. these are works of my own and i do not give permission for any of the acts stated above.

join my taglist !

SERIES MASTERLIST • MAIN MASTERLIST

For a month and a half following that afternoon, Chris began to go above and beyond to mend his mistakes in an effort to regain your trust.

He knew that he shouldn’t have been forgiven for the hurtful words he hurled at you, the voice he raised, and his cold demeanor through it all. But you forgave him nonetheless, which he was eternally grateful for.

Chris suspected that his venom-laced words still took a toll on your overall being. He sensed it in the way your usual humming was kept to a minimum, as did your soft caresses to his body. The fun facts that you would randomly blurt out had basically become nonexistent.

You hadn’t tried initiating sex with Chris due to still being affected by his actions, which was understandable to the brunette.

He could tell you were being cautious around him, which broke his heart more than he could’ve imagined.

The two of you never really talked in depth about what happened, deciding to push it under the rug and move past it. But ignoring the elephant in the room could only last for so long.

That morning was no different. He had spent the night at your place and decided to wake up and make you breakfast in an effort to mend the faltering relationship.

You woke up to an empty bed, something that you were used to since Chris had always been an early riser. Getting your morning routine out the way, you made your descent downstairs with the smell of pesto guiding you down the steps.

Walking into the kitchen, you saw the sight of your topless boyfriend, donning only a pair of boxers and an apron. You watched as he studiously focused on the skillet in front of him. His intense focus and the sounds of eggs frying in the pan made him oblivious to your arrival.

It wasn’t until you made your way towards the fridge next to him, that he registered your presence. “Morning princess, you sleep well.”

“Yeah, I slept fine,” your voice still a bit gravely from your slumber. You poured yourself a glass of orange juice, ignoring the intense gaze from Chris in your peripheral vision.

He was so used to having you touch him in the mornings. Not so much in a sexual way, but more intimately. The way your lips would ghost against his shoulder blade, your palms would hold his sides and pull him against you so that way you could bask in his warmth. Your arms would wrap around his front until your fingers absentmindedly toyed with his lower abdomen, playing with the wisps of hair on his happy trail.

He missed when you would move your lips until they met the space behind his ears, giving light open mouth kisses. The sound of you whispering ‘Morning daddy’ would leave him awestruck. Even though the words were a regular occurrence for him to hear, it was the way you would say it in your morning voice that made it ten times more special.

Though those actions might seem minuscule to others, they meant the world to him and it was killing him that he hadn’t been able to experience such tender moments with you in a while.

“I’m making breakfast- pesto eggs and some bacon for you. It’ll be done in a minute.”

You nodded along before heading to the table, phone in hand while catching up on your morning news.

It didn’t take long before a steaming plate was placed in front of you, the scent of garlic and basil already making you salivate.

Chris sat besides you and watched as you dug a fork into your meal, a smile reaching his face as he heard your content moans.

The two of you ate in silence, only the sound of soft chewing and utensils hitting your respective plates could be heard.

Every so often, you would feel Chris peek at you, hoping for you to start up a conversation with him like you always did. It’s not like you didn’t want to, it was just that you were still hurting due to his words. You know from a psychological standpoint that there was something going on inside of him that caused him to lash out, which you understood. But it didn’t aid in diminishing your apprehensiveness towards opening up to him, afraid that another fight would break out and hurtful words would again be hurled.

He could sense the internal struggle battling within you so he spoke up, breaking you out from your subconscious.

“I know I’ve been saying this repeatedly over the past few weeks, but I want you to know how sorry I am,” Chris sympathetically stated, “You didn’t deserve what I put you through, the things I said. I just hope that we're able to someday go back to how we were.”

You sat there staring at the man in front of you. Was there a way that the two of you can revert to what once was? Could you actually forgive him?

Not knowing how to properly respond, you simply nodded. A tight lipped smile was evidence that Chris had a lot of making up to do.

Finishing up breakfast, you excused yourself to your office to go and work on your dissertation, leaving the brunette alone with his thoughts.

He knew that he needed to do something big to make up for his actions. He also knew that he needed to figure out why he lashed out on you.

Taking out his phone, he clicked on a saved contact and listened to the dial tone ring in his ear.

“Morning, I’d like to make an appointment as soon as possible. It’s an emergency.”

Chris sat on the plush maroon couch, his eyes getting reacquainted with the familiar setting. The office had a few knick knacks littered around the space. A potted plant here and there. Motivational, yet cheesy posters on the wall. An assortment of magazines on the coffee table.

He hadn’t been here in a while, his usual talks were about his anxiety and dealing with fame. But for this appointment it was about you- specifically how he treated you.

The new topic was foreign to him, resulting in the brunette not knowing how to address it. So he silently sat there as his therapist, Dr. Reynolds, held her pen in her hand and studied his behavior.

“So,” she cautiously started, “What brings you in today?”

Chris sat there twiddling his fingers at her question. There could’ve been a few reasons that brought him in, but the main one was why he said the things he hurled at you.

He proceeded to spend the next 10 minutes recapping the events that had transpired, making sure to not spare any detail. After his spiel, Dr. Reynolds skimmed through her notes that she jotted down during his explanation.

Looking up from her notebook, she locked eyes with the brunette. “Do you think that some of your actions correlate with self-sabotaging behaviors? How, when you opened yourself up to her so suddenly it made you feel scared? Scared that you might need to face those fears that are plaguing you.”

Chris sat there incredulously, “Well- I mean no. I don’t think so.”

The pair talked for over an hour, going over the usual allotted time as they broke down why Chris had acted a certain way.

He realized the anger he felt was a coping mechanism to avoid feeling what he truly felt: fear. Mainly his fear of commitment. Part of him was scared that any future marriage would end up like his parents, in divorce. He feared that you would stop loving him. He feared that he would stop loving you.

And that fear was ultimately pushing you away from him. Which uncovered the biggest fear of all, losing you.

Dr. Reynolds eventually received a knock on her door, indicating a waiting patient, causing their therapy session to be cut and saved for another day.

“Thanks doc, I think I know what I need to do now.”

After some much needed self-reflection made in the meeting with his therapist, Chris knew what he had to do. Leaving the office, he pulled out his phone and dialed his publicist, Megyn.

A few rings later, he went into detail to the blonde about his plan. Not caring about what the press might say, or how his fans might react, he needed to get it done.

She wasn’t too keen on dealing with the impending press that would come from it, but she was happy that he was able to find someone that he truly loved.

He went back to your place that evening with a refreshed mind. The rest of the day went by as usual, you both did your own respective things, the tension still heavy in the air.

As you both started on your own night routine, his main focus was on you. He didn’t even know he stopped brushing and was staring until you snapped your fingers in front of his eyes.

“Earth to Chris, everything alright?” your tone was light and airy, hinted with a bit of joy.

Chris looked at the slight smile on your face and was reminded all over again as to why he fell for you. That smile was something that was so ingrained in his mind that not even old age could make him forget it. It warmed his entire being whenever he was sad and it made him realize he could never take it off your face for the rest of his days.

“Yeah princess,” he whispered, still lost in you, “I’m alright.”

You nodded along to him, though your eyes squinted a bit due to being curious of his change in demeanor. Before he was overly cautious around you, now it seemed as if he couldn’t get enough of you.

Before you could set your toothbrush down and set out for bed, he stopped you with a hand on your elbow, pulling you into him. Not caring that there were still dribbles of toothpaste in his mouth, he leant down and attached his lips to yours.

The kiss was soft, he was desperate to feel your softness against him though wasn’t trying to rush the act in any way. Moving his hand up, he held onto your cheek in an effort to pull you even closer than you already are.

The smell of your lavender night cream instantly calmed him, making him feel safe in your embrace and absentmindedly smiling into the kiss.

Chris finally pulled away, only slightly, to look down on you with a dopey grin. “God I’m in love with you.”

For the first time in weeks, a genuine smile reached your face to match the man across from you.

“I love you too love bug,” you sighed against his lips, “You probably should’ve rinsed your mouth though, I can taste your toothpaste.”

A deep chuckle rumbled from his chest, “Sorry, just got caught up in the moment.”

Chris kept you secured in his arms as he continued to stare down at you. There was something different about him, specifically the way his gaze was directed at you. Though you were not complaining.

“How about we bring back date night? I can cook and we can finally sit and talk to one another like we used to.”

Your heart fluttered in your chest at his pleas. It had been a while since you two sat down and basked in each other’s presence. The thought had you hopeful that things could go back to normal.

“I would love that,” you began, “How about Friday? I have a test for a few of my classes this week so we can do it once I’m all free.”

Chris smiled down at you with eyes evident of his admiration for you, “Friday is perfect.”

The rest of the week went on rather differently than previous ones. Your touches came back to his body, fingertips grazing alongside him whenever he was close. Chris would regularly kiss your cheek or top of your shoulder anytime he had the chance.

You did take notice of him on his phone a lot, part of it filled you with uneasiness but the rational part of your brain told you it wasn’t something to ponder too much over, so you let it go.

Chris had been spending the entire week making sure that his plan was rolling smoothly. He had the entire date night planned to a T. He informed his family about it, who were ecstatic for him, making his own mother tear up due to how happy she was. He made sure to have everything ready at the house so that everything would be successful.

The day of the planned affair, you were stuck in your home office grading the last set of tests before being able to officially clock out for the evening. Inputting the grades into Blackboard, you were brought out of focus due to the sounds of buzzing from your phone. Picking up the device, you unlocked it and saw the incoming text from your boyfriend.

Chris: Baby, I know you’re still probably finishing up, but dinner will be ready at my place at around 7. I put something on your bed for you to wear. See you soon!

The endearing message made you smile and also feel a bit elated. You missed the intimate moments shared between you and Chris. The loving looks sent your way, the delicious food and engaging conversations. But most importantly, you missed the sex. Before, the two of you were like jackrabbits, the longest you both went without getting hot and heavy was about 2 days. Now going on over two months, you were becoming insatiable.

Quickly inputting the final test scores in your online grade book, you got ready for your night in with Chris. Heading up the stairs, you walked into your room to be hit with a bit of nostalgia. Laying on the bed was the same black dress that you wore on your first date with him.

With the amount of dresses you had in your wardrobe, it was a shock that he was able to find the specific one you wore that night. The sentiment warmed your heart and filled you with hope.

Rushing to get ready, you went and got dressed, making sure that you appeared your best before heading out.

It was only a quick drive to his home, before you were sat in his driveway.

Your mind was plagued with worry. You feared that if this night didn’t go well, then it would ultimately mean the end of your relationship with the man. Taking in a deep breath, you calmed your nerves before exiting the vehicle and made the trek towards his front door.

Using the house key you still had attached to your own ring set, you unlocked the door and walked in though you didn’t get far when the sight before you made you stop and gasp.

Starting from the front door laid a trail of rose petals leading you through the house. The thoughtful effort made tears begin to form in your eyes and your breath unsteady.

Following the trail, the same smells of vegetables sautéing brought you back to that time over a year ago.

Once you made it inside the kitchen, you saw Chris with an apron adorning his massive frame on top of his suit. Once he took notice of your arrival he turned around and smiled at you. “There you are sweetheart. I was waiting for you to show.”

He turned down the fire before gliding towards you, about to reach down and kiss you when you beat him to it.

Grabbing a hold of either side of his face, you slammed your lips to his; the action surprising you both. You delivered him repeated pecks which caused the brunette to laugh between every one of your kisses.

Getting enough of your intimate fill, you pulled away from him and looked up. “What’s the special occasion? I mean I know it’s date night, but still.”

Chris brought his hands down to rest on the dip of your back before pulling you in closer to him. The action caused your neck to crane up to look directly into his eyes.

“I wanted to make things right with my best girl.”

You playfully rolled your eyes at the slight Captain America reference before delivering another kiss, “Thank you, I love it.”

The meal went according to plan, the two of you enjoying the same shrimp scampi dish he made on your first date together.

You were sipping on your glass of wine when you heard Chris speak up.

“Though I’ve said it more times than either of us can count, I need you to know how regretful I am of how I acted.”

You sighed at his words, “Chris, I said it’s-”

“No, it’s not okay (Y/N),” he interrupted you, “It wasn’t okay for me to lash out at you. It wasn’t okay for me to hurt your feelings.”

“Tonight, I tried to recreate our first date together to show you just how much you mean to me.”

Chris had rehearsed what he was planning on saying for the past few days, but here now in this moment he couldn’t remember a single prepared line. So he just decided to follow his heart.

“(Y/N). The day I met you, it was one of the greatest days of my life. It wasn’t supposed to happen, but fate brought us together- well I guess I should say Ma did with her insisting.”

His words caused you to chuckle, “I can see where you got your determination. She really didn’t quit until she finally got us in the same room.”

The memory of Lisa bringing you two together that afternoon warmed both of your hearts.

“That day we met was the day I knew that there was no one else in the world that would matter to me as much as you would. Every single day that I get the pleasure of seeing that look on your face will forever make me the luckiest man on the Earth. So when I hurled those words at you and took that smile away, it made me feel horrendous.”

You didn’t even realize you had started crying until you felt the warmth of your tears sliding down your cheeks.

Chris reached across the table and curled his fingers around your hand, slightly stroking the back of it with his thumb.

“I know I haven’t been the best boyfriend that I could be. I realized that my own fears of commitment caused me to take out my frustrations out on you, and absentmindedly pushed you away. But I realized that pushing you away was the last thing I ever wanted to happen.”

He felt his heart rate race and his organ beat heavily in his chest, his anxiety slowly rising.

“You are the greatest thing to happen to me. You make the worst days seem minuscule whenever you’re around. I love the way you’re able to always help push me through any obstacle I face, no matter how big or small it may be. The way you easily get along with my crazy family. And I love how you make me feel like I am floating on cloud nine anytime I kiss you.”

Chris felt his hands begin to sweat. One of his hands clasped onto yours, while the other held onto the small box in his left pocket of his slacks.

“A few days ago I had a session with my therapist about you. And during it I realized how much I care about you, and how losing you, even though it was brief, was the worst thing I had ever experienced.”

Slowly standing up on shaky legs, he brought you up with him.

“I had to secretly figure out the right size while you were sleeping the other night,” he began to joke, “You don’t know how hard it was to get the measurement done considering how light of a sleeper you are.”

You felt your heart pound in your chest. You suspected that something was different about his behavior and this evening, and your suspicions were slowly coming to light.

“I can’t ever experience the feeling of not having you by my side again. Waking up to a cold bed and not seeing the way your nose would sometimes crunch up while you're deep in a dream is something I never want to go through again.”

Chris reached into his pocket of his pants and pulled out a cherry red box. The sight of the gold inscription labeling 'Cartier' made your breath catch in your throat and tears fall freely down your face.

The height difference was changed when he steadily dropped down on his left knee, his tear filled blue eyes looking up at you.

“(Y/N), you make me the happiest man in the world. And I know it’s a stereotypical line for me to say, but it’s true. I love how you’re able to bring the best out of me and everyone around you. I love how you love everyone unconditionally. God, I love how fucking breathtaking you are. I am in love with everything about you.”

Letting go of your hand, he held the box in his grasp before cracking it open. The action caused your hands to cover your mouth and you to bend at the knees. With the aid of the lights around the room, it unveiled to you a marquise cut diamond. One either side were two stones. On the left was a pearl, indicating his June birthstone. The other side showed your gemstone, the rocks pairing perfectly with one another.

“So,” Chris began with a shaky breath, “(Y/N) (Y/L/N), will you do me the honor and make me the luckiest person in the world. Will you marry me?”

Your body shook with sobs as you nodded along to his question.

“Wait, are you saying yes?” Chris asked, excitement evident in his tone. “I don’t know if that’s you nodding yes or no.”

Removing your hands from your face you grasped on to your now fiancé’s, “Yes, I would love to marry you.”

Chris didn’t even get the chance to put the ring on you before raising up and slamming his lips against yours. Both of you tasting the salty tears that expelled from the other.

It was his turn to lay a continuous stream of kisses to your lips. Soft chants of ‘thank you’ leaving his mouth between every one.

Pulling away, he retrieved the ring from its box as you held up your left hand. You watched as he slid the band down your finger until it situated perfectly against the base. A content sigh left the both of you.

Chris brought your hand up and kissed the back of it and then your ring finger before locking eyes with you.

You two stayed like that for a while, your gaze flicking back and forth between each other’s lips until finally you two connected them.

This time, the embrace was intimate, more passion filled. Your hands folded against the nape of his neck, the coolness of the gold band making him smile with contentment.

With his hands holding onto your hips, he guided you back until you were met with resistance from the wall behind you; the sudden force causing you to lightly grunt into his mouth.

Lowering his hands until his palms rested on the back of your thighs, he tapped on your skin, an unspoken request for you to jump. While securing your hold on his neck, you jumped up and rested in his palms. With you in his hands, Chris began to walk the two of you towards his bedroom. Since Dodger was staying at his mom's house, he didn’t bother closing the door, not worrying about any sudden intrusion.

Your mouth was still attached to Chris when he laid you down, you head against the soft pillow on the plush bed. His frame towering over you as he shook off the suit jacket from his body, kicked off his shoes and toed his socks away.

“I love you so much (Y/N),” he swooned through kisses.

“I love you too Chris.”

Untying the front of your wrap dress, the silk material fell to the sides of your body, revealing your figure which was only covered by a thin, lace pair of underwear. The sight of your half naked self made him growl down at you in desire.

Removing his lips from yours, he descended down your body, leaving kisses in his wake.

“You’re all mine.”

His lips kissed around your taut nipple, his tongue poking out to flick at your pert bud.

“Forever and always.”

You felt him leaving traces of wetness from open-mouth kisses on your abdomen.

“The love of my life.”

His fingers dug into the sides of your thong before dragging it down your legs.

“My beautiful fiancé.”

You breathing hitched as you felt his warm breath fan across your exposed cunt. The hot air was a stark contrast to the cool slick of your dripping wetness.

“The future Mrs. Evans.”

And with that, Chris flattened out his tongue before running a long stripe up your pussy, lapping up your wetness until he curled it around your clit. “Oh fuck, Chris.”

How exhausting the sexual hiatus that you experienced with the brunette was evident due to how you were squirming on the bed. Your hands spread throughout the sheets, gripping and tugging in an effort to gain some form of steadiness. Over two months without having him on you had you mewling into the air. “Please baby, don’t stop.”

With his tongue occupied, Chris continued to devour you. His tongue alternated between long drags and quick flicks between your folds. You felt the tip of his tongue prod at your opening in a desperate attempt to taste more of you- to feel more of you.

Removing his mouth, he heard you begin to groan in disappointment before it turned into a moan when he spat on your cunt then suctioned his lips around your clit. With one hand holding your stomach down, he used the other to enter your soaking hole with his index and middle fingers.

Chris was gentle with his digits inside of you, dragging his pads alongside your ways, stroking your contracting walls and feeling every ridge. Once he was knuckle deep, he scissored your cunt, basking in the sounds of your squelching around his fingers paired with your content moans of relief.

He replaced his mouth with his thumb, using the limb to draw slow, tortuous circles on your mound as he watched you fall into the deep recesses of ecstasy.

He observed your neck stretch back, exposing a slightly bulging vein running up the expanse. The way your lips quivered as your moans flew freely out. Your legs began to shake when he hit the spot he was all too familiar with deep in your core.

“Look at me,” Chris demanded, his Boston accent evident in his request, “Need’a watch my pretty girl cum all over my fingers.”

The eye contact with the brunette was intense, more fierce than ever experienced before, but you reveled in every second of it. You noticed how his pupils had become blown out, only showing a small ring of blue surrounding the black.

You tried to keep the gaze locked until you felt your orgasm come full force through your body like a tidal wave. “Christopher!”

Upon hearing your screech of desire and feeling your essence begin to soak his digits, he replaced his thumb back with his mouth, longing to taste every single drop of your sweetness. His fingers continued to pump inside of you, prolonging your release and causing more of your juices to flow into and around his mouth.

Chris finally removed his fingers to drink more of you until you attempted to feebly push his head away, the orgasm causing you to lose most of your strength.

“Sorry princess, you know Daddy just can't get enough of you,” Chris moaned as he licked your essence off his lips.

He rose up your lower half and hovered over you staring down at your exhausted self. You mustered the power to raise your arms and grasp his face in your hands before bringing him down to connect lips once more.

The kisses were lecherous, the both of you yearning to taste every single part of the other. Your tongue was firm against his as he massaged yours while you swallowed each other's moans.

Your body felt on fire with the way his large hands were massaging and caressing every inch of your exposed skin. His fingers digging into your softness and pulling you flush against his frame.

Taking your hands away from his face, you began to unbutton his dress shirt, peeling away the material until it unveiled his tattooed chest. Your fingers tracing the large design on his chest before making its way down to his belt, unbuckling it in the process.

Dragging the leather through the loops and away from his body, you unzipped his trousers before reaching in to palm his obvious erection. The action made the man above you keen against your tongue. “I wanna taste you Chris.”

With your thighs around his hips, you nudged him until your positions were switched. His head against the same pillow, he watched as you tugged down the material on his lower half, leaving the two of you completely bare for one another.

You laid down on your stomach between his legs before grabbing hold onto the base of his cock, drawing a hiss from Chris.

His head craned back at the feel of your wet mouth tonguing his length, the wet muscle licking a stripe from the base to his tip. “Ohh- that's it baby.”

You collected your spit before it dripped from your mouth and on his head, the liquid cascading down the massive length. Using it for your advantage, you began to stroke him while attaching your lips around his tip. Your tongue flicked his slit while drinking up his precum.

“God, I love you so much (Y/N).”

Removing one of your hands, you began to swallow his length, stroking off what you couldn’t take down. His moans and groans only stir you on as you bask in the feel of him throbbing in your mouth. With your free hand, you began to palm at his balls; the action making him grip the sheets as well as tenderly holding the side of your head.

His mouth was parted, showing only his tongue, as he panted out. “That’s it baby, such a good girl for me.”

Chris felt his peak slowly approaching, the buildup steadily growing with every swipe of your tongue, suction from your lips and tug at his balls. Though he would’ve loved to release down your throat and watch your mouth milk his balls, he wanted- needed to feel your warmth surrounding him as he coated your walls.

He went to unlatch you from his cock and raise you towards him. “I need to feel you,” he breathed out, “I miss the feel of you around me (Y/N).”

You crawled up his body til you were straddling his hips. Reaching down, you pumped his length a few times before positioning it for entry. The second you began the descent and his head met the resistance from your cunt, you both groaned out.

Chris couldn’t wait any longer so he brought his hands to your hips and fully sank you down on him, sheathing his entire cock inside of you. The action made you lurch forward with your hands planting themselves on his chest in search of stability.

“Oh that’s it princess,” professed Chris, “Missed this tight fucking cunt choking my cock. Missed you so goddamn much.”

With the help of his hands on your hips, you began to slowly work yourself on his dick. Every rise and fall of your hips made you experience the delectable feel of his veined shaft drag against your channel.

“Oh Christopher,” you cooed as you felt him throb inside of you.

“That’s it princess, I’m right here.”

You brought your hands from off of him and covered his large ones. Removing them from your body, you intertwined digits. The new position of your hands allowed the newly added engagement ring to gleam under the light.

If he had a camera, he would’ve wanted to capture the beauty of you in that moment. Every buck of your hips caused your breasts to bounce, the action enticing him even more than already. The sweat that began to form on your body caused your body to shine from the bedroom lights, making your body appear as if it were glowing.

He wanted to frame the glorious sight of you, but he decided to settle with the fact of knowing he would be able to recreate this exact moment for the rest of his life. Recreate with you as husband and wife.

He rose up from the mattress and maneuvered your legs to wrap around his waist before sitting on his haunches. The new position of your naked chest pressed up against his own while he fucked you on his cock was a sort of intimacy that couldn’t be explained.

The closeness of your faces allowed you to feel each other’s breaths warm your features. You could see pupils being blown, feel the sweat dripping off one another, and hear every single sound that escaped the other's mouth.

Attaching his lips to yours, Chris moaned into your mouth. “That’s it baby, cream all around my cock. Milk me til I fill you up with my cum.”

The heels of your feet dug into his lower back and your fingertips gripped onto his neck, leaving scratches in its wake.

You knew for certain that you would have bruises on your waist with the way he had latched onto you, raising you up and down his length.

With every thrust, your sweaty skin slapped together as his balls spanked up against your ass.

“Ahh baby, I- fuck Chris I’m almost there.”

“I know (Y/N), I’m right behind you.”

A few more harsh thrusts as his tip slammed against your g-spot and you were suddenly slammed into the blissful abyss of your orgasm. The tightness of your contracting walls caused Chris to achieve his own release. The shouting sounds of you two reaching your respective peaks echoed throughout the room.

Warmth flooded your body and your cunt as you felt Chris’s cock shoot ribbons of his seed deep into you. He continued to drag you along his length, hoping to prolong the glorious feeling of your pussy throbbing around him.

After the sensation of your peak began to wane, he fell back against the mattress, bringing you down with him.

The two of you laid there in each other’s arms, basking in the warmth radiating off the other.

Chris strokes your back, long traces of his thumb running along your spine as you both regain your breath.

“I’m in love with you (Y/N). So goddamn much.”

Still a little too spent, you nodded while your hands toyed around with his chest.

While you two sat there, a realization popped into the brunette's head, making him begin to stand up. “I’ll be right back.”

You watched his ass jiggle with every step out of the room, the sight making you chuckle. When he returned, he held his phone in his hand.

“Seriously Christopher, you wanna make a sex tape right now?”

A boisterous laughter left him at your assumption, “No sweetheart, not that.”

Chris sat back next to you on the bed as he scrolled through his phone gallery. After a few flicks on his thumb, he finally found the photo that you two took on your first date. You were as beautiful as ever, smiling at the camera as he looked in awe at you.

You watched as he loaded up Instagram and clicked on the plus sign to create a new post. “Chris, what are you doing?”

“Something I should’ve done a long time ago.”

Choosing the desired photo, he went to begin typing out his caption that would unveil you to the world.

chrisevans: A little over a year ago this photo was taken on our first date. I knew from that moment that I wanted to be with you for the rest of my life, that’s why I eagerly asked you to be mine. (Y/N) you make me the happiest man that I could be. I know this past year and a half has been a tough one, especially with everyone in the world claiming that they were dating me while I kept you in the shadows, but enough is enough. There’s no one else that I would rather be with. There’s no one in this entire world that holds a candle to you. To your beauty, your kindness, your everything. You are the love of my life. As of tonight, my fiancé. And soon to be my wife. I love you more than words can describe princess. (Y/@/N)

Chris finished typing out his message before looking down at you, silently asking for approval. He watched as your index finger raised up and clicked on the share button, indicating the end of your secrecy.

A dopey smile made his face before he looked at you, phone in hand, “Now, about that sex tape.”

You laughed at his joke as he made his way to kiss you once more. The embrace was full of contentment due to knowing that things were back to normal with a growing relationship full of unwavering love, reinstated trust, and pure happiness.

A/N: and that's a wrap folks. thank you to everyone who read this series.

also i would like to say that this is in no way an indication of chris evans personality or character. this is just fiction.

if you enjoyed this, please make sure to reblog and comment. feedback is much appreciated !

* divider credits : @firefly-graphics *

#chris evans #chris evans series #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans smut #chris evans one shot #chris evans fluff #chris evans x fem!reader #chris evans rpf #chris evans x reader #chris evans angst #chris evans fic #steve rogers smut #andy barber smut #ransom drysdale smut #pining for professor

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millerflintstone · 2 years

Text

The good news - I'm no longer on the pager duty rotation!

The bad news - hey...remember that MRI I had for my eyes / optic nerve? Turns out...

Like...what? I downloaded the report the night before the follow up, which was on the 7th. Unfriendly and I had a long talk.

I don't have any classic stroke symptoms. I don't remember having a sudden painful headache, but with grieving my mom along with the loss of my entire nuclear family, there is a lot I don't remember between early November and December.

The radiologist report states this -> "Small area of acute/recent lacunar ischemia in the left cerebellar hemisphere suspected. No large territory infarct seen" . My blood pressure is normal. Sometimes the bottom number gets in the high 80s. LDL cholesterol was high in July. That's currently being rechecked. My A1C is normal. I haven't gained any weight since losing 25 pounds in 2020. Minor fluctuations but I haven't been strictly intermittent fasting for a good 8-9 months. I'm still overweight and do need to get some kind of activity going in my life because I haven't since about October.

Gonna put the rest under a break because this got longer than I intended.

The TL;DR is I saw another neuro for a second opinion, saw a cardiologist at the practice I went to in 2017 and am on a heart monitor for a month. I have further tests at the cardiologist but we're still in the diagnosis phase of this.

I'm better about it today. Nothing I can do to change things immediately. Just gotta focus on taking better care of this flesh vessel and step 1 was telling work I have heavily advised stress reduction from my doctor.

This past week has been doctor appointment week. The neurologist I saw said it could just be an artifact since I don't have obvious slurred speech, numbness, loss of mobility, etc. It could be a small silent stroke. It could just be aging.

I was not happy with how the follow up went. It was supposed to be TeleMed and I never got a link. Just a phone call, which I asked him directly about and it just seems that office is scattered. (That's a whole nother post.) But that neuro talked to the other neuro in the practice and he wasn't 100% sure either. I was told to follow up with my PCP and a cardiologist.

My PCP didn't have a specific neuro to refer me too for a second opinion because the one she used to refer folks to is closing her practice due to a terminal illness. She did give me some names. The guy other folks were happy with doesn't actually take stroke patients. Just tumors and I forget what else the office person said. But that office gave the name of one that does that is in my insurance network. I got a second opinion from a vascular neurologist. He had a cancellation last Wed and they were able to fit me in. He confirmed the same things of it really not being known / definite and agreed with the recommendations of the first guy along with re-scanning in about 4 months.

Honestly I've been stunned and now that I'm less stunned I realized things I should have asked and didn't. I figure I can just ask for an in person follow up with the first neuro in person after all the cardiology tests are in.

Cardiologist appointment was Friday. I had to go to one in 2017 due to a new PCP at the time. She was concerned about my EKG and wanted me to see a cardiologist. They did all of these tests including an echocardiogram and determined my heart was normal for me. Structurally it was fine. They didn't see a need to do a stress test then. I was told to not overdo caffeine because abnormal but normal for me EKG indicated my heart could go out of rhythm or very fast but neither of those things have happened. Anyway, this practice has a "before" of my heart. On 1/24 we're going to do the "after" tests and I get to wear a heart monitor for 30 days. Last time I only wore one for a week I think. It was enough for that doc to determine I didn't need a stress test.

So that's the new current thing in my life. My body refuses to calm the fuck down I guess.

In terms of stress, my PCP did think it was a good idea to reduce it where I can. I decided to tell my bosses about it. I went back and forth about being vague about it but these people are thick and lack common sense and empathy (more on that later) . I was matter of fact about it and phrased it as "In light of this, I will not be able to participate in the pager duty rotation" ( this was Unfriendly's suggestion).

I told two co-workers - the good dude who was really worried about me after my mom passed and the gal I work with on one specific problematic vendor. The guy is also on PD and I thought he should know why. Things happened this week that showed me management is still careless so I wanted him to understand I just wasn't being a dick. That is also another post.

#pcp = primary care physician #not drugs lol #body reset 2022 #I guess that will be the tag for this current thing #tl;dr is too long didn't read #I saw someone type td;lr or something that I forget where and it made me chuckle #too didn't; long read #honestly not being on the rotation was a huge lift off of my shoulders #I do have another wtf is wrong with my now ex manager post to share

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aleksa-sims · 7 months

Text

RL Simselfstory (18+)

CW: unplanned pregnancy, pregnancy stuff, addiction, drugs ⚠️

It was Friday. Finally! That was my last day of work in that fucking asylum I worked. 🥳 Goodbye Mr. B., on never reunion! 😡

I had a date with N. I haven’t seen him all week. Which kind of unsettled me. After all there was still his.... fiancée or ex-fiancée. Second, I’ve probably been pregnant, since our last night together in his Mom's house.... Anyway, first I went to Sandra, to visit her and little Liam, who, btw.... shit on me. 🤨 Yep, little stinky pooped and the poop escaped! 💩 My dress was the target. So, Sandra lent me something to wear.

Sandra was the only one I told about Nico and that I might be pregnant. S. was so happy for me. She said, I have to keep this baby! Who knows, if I will ever get pregnant again, after I had those issues in summer last year? It's like a little miracle she meant. Also this was the second time I was pregnant by N. So this time, I just have to keep it, she said. But what about Daniel? I was so sad again. When I stopped by my apartment at the beginning of the week, to check if everything is still ok there, I had that sad dream about Daniel. I was totally depressed because of that. But apart from Daniel and Nico’s ex- fiancée, there was a really serious problem, that will await me and my baby, if I am actually pregnant. 😥🤦‍♀️ My fucking pills! I relapsed a few weeks ago and had to start that drug replacement therapy again. This damn thing ruined everything. That’s why, I’m going to make an appointment for an abortion. But Sandra and my Grams will save my Baby. 😞 They’re gonna change my mind at the last second! 🩷🧡 But as for my addiction & pregnancy, I think I’ll have to make a own post about it. I mentioned once, at the beginning, that I had a high-risk pregnancy. And well, this was the reason.

Anyway, Sandra tried to calm me down..

Sandra: Don’t you worry, sweetie! After the weekend we will get you a pregnancy test and if it's actually positive, I'll help you. 💛

Me: Ok. But what about Nico? He doesn't even like Babyies. Besides, he’s gonna hate me for taking those damn pills.

Sandra: Yeah, that’s pretty serious A.... But your doc said your pills won’t hurt your baby in case of pregnancy. So don't worry, it's gonna be fine. 😟

Me: Yea, but he also said, that my baby might get withdrawal symptoms the first days after birth. Daniel and I talked about all this earlier. But Nico? He's gonna hate me! And he's right! I'm gonna die if my Baby gets withdrawal. But my parents are gonna kill me anyway. 😩🤦‍♀️

Sandra: I'm sure N. ’ll love your Baby.... Once he’s here to pick you up, I’ll give him Liam. You’ll see, he’ll like it and he’ll change his mind about Babies.

Nico came...

Sandra: Hi, Nico! Nice to see you. Glad you're back. (😬)

Nico: Hi, S.! Yea, good to see you too. Kind of crazy. I barely left for a year and everyone has babies. Philip told me a bit last summer... Are you ok?

Sandra: Yea all fine. He's my little sunshine. He has changed my whole life. I'm so grateful for my Baby.

Nico: Glad to hear that. You look good S.... Oh, and I got a little something for.... Liam, right? Here, just a gift card, nothing special. I'm not that good with all that baby stuff.

Sandra: Whaat??.... Thanks, N. This is so cute, but you didn't have to! 🤩

Nico: Not a big deal.

Sandra: Now I see it too, you’ve changed, N.... I like that. 😊

Me: Aww, you're so sweet. I missed you.

Nico: I missed you too, you’re so pretty, babe.

Nico (to S.'s bf): Yo, man!... What happend to your black suits? Is that... hipster, nerdy look, your new style now? 🤨

S.'s bf: What happened to your tracksuits? Ha? 😮‍💨

Nico: You’ve never seen me in a tracksuit, so what’s your point?

S.'s bf: Hm, that’s how I remembered you. Maybe bcs of your... soccer thing, you know? 🤨

Nico: Yea, anyway 😒 ...... Let’s go, babe. Today I’ll take you to my place.

Me: And you're sure we'll be alone there?

Nico: Don't you trust me? I told you, I broke up with her. It's over.

Me: But why didn't you want to see me? I was so sad this week.

Nico: I wanted to see you! I just didn’t have time, I was busy with soccer. Was pretty tough that week. But you knew that. I called you. Every day.

Me: Yea. Idk? I thought maybe she was with you? And I was so sad about Daniel too. But when you’re with me, that pain is gone.

Nico: Why didn’t you just tell me?... I was at practice and I couldn’t come to you bcs of your parents .🤷‍♂️ But let's talk later about that.

I think Liam thought Nico was Daniel. 🙁 He started crawling all the way to Nico. Just to look and smile at him. He was literally cracking up about Nico. This was so funny. I’ve never seen and heard Liam laugh so loudly and much. So cute! Sandra asked Nico to take Liam in his arms. She wanted to see, if he was really afraid of Babies. Nico hesitated. But I could understand him! Liam just pooped, that little stinky. Again! 💩💩🤷‍♀️

Nico (to S.): Can you please take Liam. I think he’s pooping.

Sandra: OH! Ok sorry. Yea, just give him to me.

Nico: Heh! I knew it, I knew it! 😄

Sandra: Oh no, Liam! That new baby food, is probably not really good for you, huh?

Nico: This little dude seems like a little shit. 😉😄

Sandra: Just wait till you get your own little shit.

Nico: Nah! No thanks! As long as I can avoid it, I will.

Sandra: Are you sure you’re doing everything to avoid it?

Nico: I hope so? 🫤

Sandra: But seriously Nico. What if A. wants a Baby? Will you say no to her?

Nico: Am... If she really wants a Baby, I won’t say no to her, of course.

Sandra: But what about you? Will you take care of your Baby?

Me: 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Nico: I'll have to, I guess... Babe? You ok?... What's up?

Me: Nothing! Let's just go.

Nico took me to his place, where he and his ex-gf lived together. I was so nervous. I was afraid of what to expect. He warned me and said that some of her things are still lying around there. He tried to put everything away today, so that I feel comfortable there, but some of her stuff, she still has to pick up. I could see he was nervous too. Rather worried that it could hurt me, to see, how the two have lived together.

He also told me, when she moved in with him, she has the entire living room newly furnished, without Nico knew about it. She just ordered everything in Nico’s name, so he got the bill at the end. A friend of hers studied interior design or something and that girl, wanted to redecorate his whole apartment. But Nico came home from abroad in time and was able to stop this shit. He was totally pissed! He didn’t want to pay that bill and told her that she has to do it, or he's gonna dump her. Well, her parents had to pay for the new living room.... This is so crazy!! I'd never do something like this! Even now not after all those years with him.

Anyway, next time I will tell more about her and I will meet her there myself. 🤦‍♀️ Actually, she was ok. And tbh, I felt bad about her. She told me what happened to her a few years ago. Something really bad! That’s also why Nico couldn’t just break up with her, like he thought. She threatened to hurt herself, if he did. I thought that was totally stupid of her!! And I was mad at Nico, bcs he allowed her to succeed with that pity shit. But you'll see soon what I mean.

Previous/ Next

#ts4 #sims 4 #sims 4 story #myrlgameplay #rl story #simself #18+ content #cw addiction #cw pregnancy #cw abortion #cw drugs

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bedbellyandbeyond · 3 years

Photo

Contraband

(Story Post)

“Dax, sorry to keep you waiting,” Syd said as they came into the exam room. “No, it's fine,” Dax said. “I'm just happy to get some possible answers today.” Syd sat down at their desk and crossed their legs. “First of all, have you recently been in contact with either Jeffrey Matthews or Oliver Larson?” “Yes, Jeffrey has been over to my partner's house a lot, and I met his cousin over a week ago. Why?” “I had Oliver in today and he informed me that he shared a substance from this container with you, is that correct?” Syd took out the container of protein powder and placed it on the edge of his desk.

Dax blinked and turned it around. “Yes, he let me try some. I was looking for a new protein powder. Why? Is there something wrong with it?” “Yes, unfortunately Mr. Larson was mistaken of its contents,” Sydryn explained. “The container has been misused to carry alien made contraband that is almost certainly the cause of your incident a week ago.” Dax stared at the container. “…That caused me to do all that?” Sydryn nodded slowly. “It belonged to and was created by one Bler 9 Tid, a Prilarian formerly acquainted with Jeffrey Matthews. It has the ability of altering one's internal anatomy to create a womb capable of bearing viable live offspring in persons without one. It also increases the consumers libido and hormone production, causing the consumer to go into a chemically induced oestrus. Tid gave the contraband to Matthews to be able to impregnate him.” Dax was still for a few moment, unsure what to say. Piecing the events together in his mind, it all started to make sense. “…So, you're saying that the ‘protein powder' I added to my smoothie that morning actually made me grow a uterus and put me in a manufactured heat?” “Correct.” “So…” Dax was still searching for what he wanted to say. “…I was in heat, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend and when that didn't work…I just went to the next closest guy I knew… And now what, are you saying I could be pregnant?” Sydryn exhaled. “Yes, that is why we need to draw blood again.” “What happened to the blood you drew last week?” Dax asked. “We only tested it to check your hormone levels,” Sydryn said. “Also, a pregnancy cannot be confirmed until the second week.” “But it's only been one week,” Dax pointed out. “Yes, I failed to add earlier that this contraband you consumed also doubles the speed of a human pregnancy,” Sydryn said. “One week for you is two weeks for a pregnancy, if an egg was successfully fertilised.” Dax put his head in his hands trying to process all this information. “…After all that…I could be pregnant…with Kent's child?” Sydryn uncrossed their legs and leaned forward to place a hand on Dax's shoulder. “I understand that this is a lot to take in. We cannot confirm a pregnancy yet until the results of a blood test, but we can confirm the formation of a uterus now with an ultrasound.” Dax took a deep breath. “...Okay. Do whatever you have to do, I guess... I need to know.” “When was the last time you ate or drank, by the way?” Sydryn asked. “I had water on the way down, but I haven't eaten anything since last night, at like 8pm,” Dax answered. “How much did you drink and have you urinated since drinking today?” “Uh, maybe half a litre? And no. Is that bad?” “No, a full bladder is ideal to lift the organ we are looking for. A full litre is ideal, but we should be fine. I will have to press which may cause some discomfort.” “Okay.” “Alright. Please lean back and lift you shirt. Unbutton your pants as well,” Sydryn directed as they got up to start the ultrasound machine. Dax did as instructed and they proceeded with the ultrasound. Syd was able to confirm the uterus as well as a thickening of the uterine lining. Afterwards, they drew a sample of Dax's blood. “It will take some time, but this has been prioritised so you should hear from me tonight or tomorrow,” Sydryn explained, as they put away the test tubes. “Do you have any questions for me?” “If I am pregnant, what do I do?” Dax said. “Can I even really have a baby? Like, carry to term?” “The research is new, however yourself and Jeffrey's family are not the first to have been exposed to this particular Prilarian contraband,” Sydryn stated. “So far, all who've taken it and carried out a pregnancy have carried healthily to term.” Dax blanched. “And if I don't want a baby?” “You have all the same options as any other pregnant person,” Sydryn said. “Since we have not confirmed a pregnancy as of yet, you should abstain from receiving unprotected anal penetration during intercourse. If you have done so within the last 72 hours, you can take a morning after pill.” “I haven't,” Dax said. “But will I have a uterus forever now?” “No, if you are not pregnant, it should pass within a month. The same would occur after a pregnancy,” Sydryn said. “We can go over the details of that later, once we have your results.” Dax nodded slowly. “Okay...” “Did you have a talk with the therapist like we discussed last time?” Syd asked. “No, not yet...” Sydryn woke up their computer. “Let's make you an appointment to come talk with me, how about that?” “Uh, sure,” Dax agreed, nodding. “Monday at 1pm?” Dax took out his phone out and opened his calendar. “Sounds good.” “I will be calling you as well as soon as I have a result for you,” Syd reminded, getting up. “How are you feeling? Do you think you'll be alright for now?” “Yeah, I'll be fine,” Dax assured getting up as well. “This is just...a lot to take in.” “I understand.” “Well, I wouldn't be surprised about Jeffrey, but his cousin,” Dax inquired as he started walking out. “Is he alright? I imagine he's been taking that stuff for a while without knowing...” “I can't share such information on my other patients,” Sydryn stated as they escorted him. “Ah, yeah... Maybe I'll try to contact them,” Dax said. “Nathan should have Jeffrey's number...” “I wouldn't stress yourself with their well-being for now,” Sydryn said. “You should take some time to yourself. Relax.” “I just, I don’t know if it's the teacher in me, but I worry about those kids,” Dax said. “I don’t know if you know, but I taught Jeffrey in high school. A good teacher cares about all their students.” Sydryn placed a hand on Dax's shoulder. “That is admirable, but he is not your student anymore. Neither of them are your responsibility.” “I know...” When they got to the lobby, Reid was sitting waiting for Dax. He got up as soon as he saw them. “So? How did it go? Is he dying, doc?” Sydryn furrowed their brow. “You're here for Dax?” “No, I thought I'd come in for a shift,” Reid said sarcastically. “Aye, I made sure to get him here in good time. We're friends now, you know.” Sydryn sighed. “We’ll have a talk about that later, but anyway, are you driving him home?” “Well actually, he drove us here,” Reid said. “Why? Should he not drive? I can drive if I have to. You didn't answer if he's dying or not.” “He's not dying,” Sydryn stated. “He can drive, but you, however, are not clear to drive yet.” “I'd like to talk about that, actually.” “Bring it up in our meeting on Monday,” Sydryn said turning to go back to the exam rooms. Reid patted Dax's back. “You alright? What'd Syd tell you?” Dax sighed. “I'll tell you on the drive back, alright?” “Sure, sure. Let's go then.”

#lore #Sydryn #Dax

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just-dreaming-marvel · 3 years

Text

Out Of Time ~ 134

MASTERLIST

< previous chapter

Word Count: 2,685ish

Summary: A few surprises are in store. (Read the note at the end of the chapter.)

They had had many more nights of passion and love after that one, slowly healing them together. And the two hadn’t been so caring about protection. Five weeks after that first night, Y/N was sleeping, cuddled up to Tony. Suddenly, she popped up having the sudden urge to puke. She rushed to the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet in time. She was still letting out her guts when Tony came into the bathroom, worried.

“Oh, honey,” he knelt by her, rubbing her back. “Dinner not sitting well with you?”

“No—“ She cut herself off, throwing up more into the toilet. “Tony… I think we’re in trouble.”

“Trouble? Why would be be in trouble?”

Wiping off her mouth with her sleeve, Y/N leaned against the wall, facing a still too skinny Tony. “We haven’t exactly been the most safe with our recent sexual escapades.”

“Sexual escapades?” Tony repeated, wiggling his brows and smirking. “I like the sound of that.”

“Tony, I’m serious… I think I need a pregnancy test.”

Tony’s eyes bulged. “Are—are you sure?”

“I don’t know… that’s why I want to check.”

“I’ll run out to the store and grab a test.” Tony scrabbled to his feet. “I’ll be right back.” He was out the door before Y/N could stop him.

Y/N sat there, thinking about how they could have let this happen? How could they have been so reckless? But the more she thought about it, the less she could excuse. But how where they going to be parents, when she felt that they had failed their child the last time? And what if something more was wrong with her? What if she couldn’t protect this one either?

When Tony came back, he found Y/N on the same spot on the floor.

“I didn’t know which test worked the best so I grabbed them all,” Tony told her, kneeling in front of her and showing her the bag of tests. “I also grabbed different snacks and such, but I left those in the kitchen because I didn’t know how you’d react to them. So, which test do you want to try first? And do you want be in for them or waiting outside the door?”

Y/N inhaled shakily. “Can you just wait outside?”

“Of course.” Tony nodded, quickly pecking her lips before standing up.

“Don’t shut the door,” Y/N practically begged.

“Okay,” Tony nodded. “I’ll be right here. Everything’s going to be fine.”

Tony left the door open enough so that Y/N could see him leaning against the wall beside it. His hand was wrapped around the molding, as if to tell her he was still there. Taking a deep breath, Y/N began the tests. Once done with one test, she lined it agains the wall and grabbed another. After all 11 tests were finished, Y/N walked out and washed her hands.

“Can you put on a timer for ten minutes?” She asked quietly, her voice slightly filled with nerves.

“I got it,” Tony responded, and with a few touches to his watch a ten minute timer appeared on the mirror. He could tell Y/N was nervous so he came over and wrapped his arms around her and brought her back into her chest. Their eyes met in the mirror.“Everything will work out the way it’s suppose to,” he whispered. “And, whatever you want to do, I’ll stand by you. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

It was the longest ten minutes either of them had ever experienced. They held each other, watching the mirror’s timer count down. Once it went off, they were frozen in their spot. Eventually, Tony turned Y/N around to face him.

“Together?” He questioned softly.

“Together,” she gave a little nod, pressing her lips to his for a quick kiss.

Holding hands, the two went to where the tests were. Y/N squeezed Tony’s hand as she closed her eyes and face her head down. While willing herself to open her eyes, she heard Tony let out a breathy, yet happy, chuckle. Opening her eyes, she finally saw the tests.

“You’re pregnant,” Tony grinned, kissing the side of her head. “You’re pregnant!” He grabbed Y/N and spun her around. “We’re going to have a baby.”

“We’re going to have a baby,” she repeated quietly, clearly in a state of shock. “I’m… pregnant… Tony…” She looked up at Tony’s large, excited brown eyes. “What if… what if I screw it up again?” Her eyes become watery. “What if I lose this one too?”

He ran his hand down her arms until they attached to her hands. “Listen to me, very carefully, I love you. And I already love the life you have growing inside of you. I will do absolutely anything in my power to make sure that you both are healthy and safe. I will get the best doctors and get the house finished faster and eliminate all the stress I can. You will not lose this baby. And it was never, or either will be, your fault for losing AJ. At least not yours alone.”

“I’m scared. This world… this—“

“This world, yes, is scary. But so was the world before half the population turned to ash. We will protect and teach our child to the best of our ability. We will work with what we have, imperfections and all.”

“You’re too good for me.”

“Oh, honey, it’s always been the other way around.” He pulled her hands up and kissed her knuckles. “I love you. Always and forever.”

“I love you too.” They met for a kiss. “We’re going to have a baby,” she smiled, the excitement finally getting to her.

“We’re going to have a baby,” Tony smiled back.

~~~

Morning sickness was the worst, especially cause it was the biggest lie. It didn’t just happen in the morning. It lasted all day and all night. Thankfully, Tony was always there with a damp rag and a comforting hand on Y/N’s back. Then there was the fatigue, breast tenderness, and the mood swings. On second Y/N would be laughing, the next crying, and the next yelling. But Tony took it all like a champ.

When the cravings began the next week, Tony had already stocked the whole kitchen and storage closet, ready for any possibility. What concerned Tony the most though, was that, even with the cravings, nothing was sitting well with Y/N’s stomach. He had hired the doctor to come in and do the check ups, worried that anything could be too stressful for Y/N and the baby.

“She’s not keeping anything down, doc,” Tony worried, as the doctor squeezed cool, blue gel onto Y/N’s stomach. “Is that normal?”

“Normal, no,” the doctor responded, getting the ultrasound machine ready. “Uncommon, also no. The baby just might be really picky. But I can prescribe something to help with the morning sickness.”

“That would be wonderful,” Y/N sighed in relief. “Thank you.”

“Now, let’s take a first look at the little trouble maker, shall we?”

Moving the ultrasound probe around her stomach, the doctor carefully observed the ultrasound screen. Nervous, Y/N tightened her grip on Tony’s hand as they both also stared at the screen. Neither of them knew how to read an ultrasound, but they were sure trying. Suddenly, the doctor froze the machine’s screen.

“There it is,” the doctor smiled softly, pointing to the screen. “Looks like it’s even a good size.”

“Oh… my…. Gosh…” Y/N muttered, unable to take her eyes off the screen.

“That’s our baby,” Tony grinned, trying to keep from tearing up. “Can we know the gender yet?”

“I don’t like the check until 18 weeks. You’re at 6 now, almost 7, so you have a little while longer.” The doctor pressed a button, causing a few small photos of the ultrasound to print out. The doctor tore the photos from the machine and tried to hand them to Y/N. “Here you go.” But Y/N was frozen, staring at the screen.

“I can take them,” Tony said, reaching over. “Honey? Are you okay?”

“I… I never got to see AJ…” She responded quietly, still staring.

“AJ?” The doctor questioned, looking at Tony.

“Our son,” Tony responded. “Miscarriage.”

“Oh. Well, knowing that I need you to rest. No stress or strain. Understood?”

“I’ll make sure she follows orders.”

“Very good.” The doctor began to clean off Y/N’s belly. “Feel free to reach out with any questions and we can make an appointment for 4 weeks from now.”

“Thank you doc. How about I show you out?”

“Very well.” The doctor turned off the screen and pushed the equipment over into the corner. “I will see you soon Miss Rogers.”

All Y/N could do was nod in response, she was still so lost in her own mind. As Tony left with the doctor, Y/N reached over and carefully picked up the picture of her baby.

“Hello,” she whispered, rubbing a hand against her stomach. “I can’t believe you’re in there… I promise I’ll protect you and love you. And I’ll teach you how to stand your ground and fight. Your father will teach you how to build things and he… he’s going to be the best father and he will love and protect you too. I can already tell that you’re going to have him wrapped around your finger.”

“Just like their mother is,” Tony said, coming into the room. “You talking to the little bean?” He came up and sat on the side of the bed.

“Yes… Tony, there’s a baby in there.”

“There is.” He smiled.

“We never got to be excited about AJ… I’m sorry that we didn’t get that.”

“Me too.” Tony set his hand over Y/N’s that was resting on her belly. “But we’ll make it up with this one.”

~~~

Week 7 was full of the same symptoms as the previous weeks, though the nausea hadn’t been too bad since the doctor proscribed some meds. This week added on frequent urination. Y/N was either in the bathroom throwing up or peeing. Though, Tony wasn’t all that worried because he was currently doing all the research he could on pregnancy and birth.

Week 8 all the pregnancy symptoms were in full force, making Y/N feel bad for Tony. The two had contacted Rhodey, Happy, and Pepper, and told them the good news. The three were so excited, yet promised not to say anything to anyone after Tony swore them to secrecy. Rhodey asked Tony about them telling Steve, but was quickly shut down. Neither of them were ready to talk about or to Y/N’s brother just yet.

It was the first day of week 9 and Tony was up way before Y/N was. It had multiple surprises for her today and he wanted to make sure she was all rested up before he surprised her. Happy was helping as Tony packed up somethings. The cabin was finished and one of Tony’s surprises was going to be moving into the cabin.

“I’ll make sure that this all gets to the cabin and it’s all ready, Tony,” Happy said as the last thing was taken to the elevator.

“Thanks, Happy,” Tony said. “We’ll see you then. I got to wake her and get her to get ready without making anything look suspicious.”

“Good luck, you’re gonna need it.”

Tony was facing Happy as he walked away. “Hey! At least she can’t read minds anymore.”

Tony headed to the bedroom to find Y/N sleeping soundly. He almost didn’t want to wake her, she was looking so peaceful. But he was just so excited for the day, he knew he couldn’t wait. Carefully, Tony crawled onto the bed and knelt over Y/N. He slowly began placing kisses anywhere that she had exposed skin.

“Tony,” she moaned.

“Yes?” He questioned with a smirk, still kissing her body.

“What are you doing?”

“Waking you up.”

“What for? I was actually getting some good sleep.”

“I’m sorry, honey. I have a few things planned for today.”

Opening one eye, she looked at Tony. “A few things?”

“Yes.” He kissed her lips quickly. “Now, your clothes are all laid out in the bathroom, so go shower and then we’ll head.” He gave her one more kiss before moving to stand beside the bed.

“What do you have up your sleeve, Tony?”

He took her hands and began to pull her up. “You’ll just have to wait and see.

~~~

Tony wouldn’t saw a word about where he was taking Y/N after they got in the car. Before she knew it the city was gone and the suburbs were slowly disappearing as well.

“Seriously, Tony, where are you taking me?” Y/N asked.

“We’re almost there,” he responded.

“Almost where?”

Tony chuckled. “You’re cute, you know that?”

Y/N scoffed, folding her arms over her chest and pouting. “And you’re mean.”

“Love you too, honey.”

Tony turned and the car began to make its way up a windy dirt road. Y/N focused on looking out the window, for any clues. Eventually, a lake appeared, with a pier extending into it. They rounded a bend and Y/N saw a cabin.

“Oh,” she gasped, her hand coming up to cover her mouth. “Is that—“

“Yes, honey,” Tony smiled. “Welcome home.”

“It’s… it’s better than I could have imagined it.”

“I’m glad.”

Tony stopped the car and ran around to help Y/N out. Tony helped her up, keeping a hold of her hand once she was standing. Y/N was looking around, in awe.

“When did it get finished?” Y/N wondered.

“A few days ago,” Tony answered. “I wanted it to be a surprise.”

“It’s wonderful. I love it.” She turned and wrapped her arms around his neck. “And I love you.” She gave him a loving kiss.

“Love you too. What do you want to see first?”

“Honestly, I kinda need to pee. So maybe we could head inside first?”

Tony laughed. “Okay, sweetheart.”

With an arm slung around Y/N’s waist, the two headed inside. As they walked further in, Y/N froze. The living room was lit with candles and there was rose petals scattered around.

“Tony,” Y/N said softly, leaving his side to further examine the room. “What is this?” She turned around and gasped. Tony was down on one knee, holding a ring up in his fingers. “Tony…”

“Just, please, let me get through this,” Tony pled, clearly nervous. “The past eight years that we’ve known each other, has been nothing short of a rollercoaster. But, I feel like that’s only made us stronger. We’ve both done our share of stupid shit, but we’ve always somehow ended up back together, trying to make it work… for me, this has been a long time coming. Happy has literally been caring this ring around for years, waiting for me to finally propose to you. And now, I’m going to because, honey, there is no one else in the world that I’d want to spend the rest of my life with. I love you so much and I already love our baby so much. So, Y/N Rogers, will you marry me?”

Biting her lip nervously, she nodded, trying to keep the tears at bay. “Yes,” she whispered. “Yes.”

“Yes!” Tony celebrated while slipping on the ring. “I was honestly so scared.” He stood up and brought Y/N into his chest. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” They began kissing, only for Y/n to quickly push away. “I’m so sorry, but I kinda just peed a little.” Tony threw his head back, laughing. Y/N playfully smacked his chest. “Don’t laugh! That’s mean!”

“I’m sorry, honey.” He kissed her cheek. “Why don’t you go get cleaned up and we can celebrate later?”

“I don’t know if you’ll be celebrating anything after that laugh,” Y/N grumbled, walking away.

next chapter >

I have thought this through and changed my mind many times, but I swear that this time it’s for real. I have decided to do two endings: Tony’s Ending and Bucky’s Ending. I know that Team Bucky may be a little confused about how their ending is going to work after this chapter, but I promise it will. I will be taking a break soon, so the chapters/endings won’t be out too fast. (I will most likely just be posting on weekends for a little while.) But I just don’t want to disappoint either team with whatever I was originally going to choose as the one ending. I hope that everyone will be okay with two endings. I’m going to try to figure out the best way to post the endings so that all my readers will still be willing to read it.

Thank you all for the support! And please be patient with me and the story.

If you want to be added to the tag list, please dm me or send in an ask.

#tony stark x reader #the avengers x reader #avengers x reader #marvel x reader #iron man x reader #tony stark #Iron Man #tony stark imagine #marvel imagine #marvel imagines #iron man imagine

197 notes · View notes

thran-duils · 3 years

Text

Lost in Zero Gravity (P.24, FINAL)

Title: Lost In Zero Gravity (Part Twenty Four, FINAL) Summary: Fem!Reader x Mob Boss!Tony Stark x Mob Boss!Steve Rogers. Reader is a call girl who runs high end parties. She catches the attention of Tony Stark who invites her back to his room with his friend. She might have performed too well because she becomes their new favorite play toy and they don’t like to share. Words: 2,768 Warnings (for the fic in entirety): Smut, prostitution, infidelity, angst, domestic violence, stalking, possessive behavior, drug use

Author’s Note: This took a couple more days than I planned. I had started writing and got to like 1,200 words and then I was like mhm... abandoned that doc and started another. I was grappling between two different paths and I went with the happier one. We’ve had enough angst!

Part Twenty Three || Masterpost (mobile) || Fanfic masterpost

ALT ending (not complete, will not be completed)

Balancing the bowl on your stomach, you laid back eating grapes in silence. You were alone in the apartment. Again. Tony had been acting more distant now that you were really starting to show as you came into your sixth month. It smaller things at first, like you caught him staring at your protruding stomach and he looked away quickly when he noticed you saw or sex being from behind more often than not now. But now it was apparent something was wrong. He slept at home half the week now.

It should not be a shock; he had voiced his opposition to the whole thing from the start and you knew that is what was driving the wedge.

The grapes were doing little to satisfy your craving for French fries. You had just had some yesterday and you were trying to be good today. It was proving to be very difficult when you could just have them delivered and Wylan could bring them up for you.

As if on cue, the apartment door open and the smell of fried food hit your nostrils. You moved the bowl and sat up with some difficulty, spotting Tony walking towards the kitchen with a bag. Your mouth was already watering.

He tossed a look over his shoulder and asked, “Still having the craving?” He took in the look on your face and he cracked a smile. “Looks like it. I see I’ve brought you over to the dark side with it being a comfort food.”

“I don’t want this to last,” you said as you stood up, leaving the grapes behind on the coffee table. “I’ll be hundred pounds heavier if it keeps up.”

You sat down at the table, thankful that you had ordered the pillow covers for the chairs; they were far more forgiving on your backside than the plain hardwood. Tony placed a plate in front of you and handed you the ketchup and mustard before going back for his plate. He sat back down at the table in the chair across the table and began to eat.

Silence fell over the table as you ate some of the fries, paying more attention to them than the burger.

After a little while, you could not stand it anymore and you had to ask.

“Are... are we okay?”

Tony stopped eating and looked up at you with a concerned look. He placed his burger down and gave you his full attention. “What do you mean?”

“You seem… off. You have seemed off. The last couple of months. Like you kind of don’t want to touch me.”

He sighed, rubbing at his face. He looked like he was gathering his thoughts and you stayed quiet.

“It bothers me.” You looked at him expectantly, wanting him to say more when he paused. “You’re pregnant, for one. It’s a... thing for me. Just thinking about the baby in there and my dick around it.” You did your best to not crack at that, even the slightest of smirks. You wanted him to explain himself and not interrupt. “But you’re also pregnant with Steve’s kid. It... it makes me uncomfortable.” He paused and chewed on his bottom lip before meeting your eyes. “I don’t like watching him watch you. At the appointments I mean. He’s just... I know how he is and it’s not a good look that he’s giving you. And he’s so touchy feely about it and it makes me angry. Yeah. It makes me angry. That’s it. I hate it. I hate what he did. And he still wins and gets what he wants.”

“He doesn’t have to suffer through any of it and meanwhile you’re over here with body aches and looking down the barrel of the gun of childbirth. And it stresses me out because Steve told me he wanted to be there at the hospital, and I don’t think he should be in the room with you. He doesn’t deserve to be. Because I was done dealing with him after I learned what he had done.” He hesitated and saw you were still listening with rapt attention. He swallowed sharply before his eyes softened and he said calmer, “And it made me angry you gave him this satisfaction. Rewarded him for his behavior in a way. I wish you would have listened to me and just let me pay him out so this wouldn’t be a thing. And now we both have to deal with.”

You were quiet, staring down at your hands.

“I... I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I think about it too. He didn’t even ask if he could touch me when I was on the table the first appointment, he just did it. And I didn’t make a scene. And he just ran with that as permission for whenever he was around me in the room at the appointments, he could touch me however. And still, I didn’t cause a scene because there was a nurse or a doctor in there all the time, and he seemed to know them all, and I didn’t want to have any bad blood with them myself. Just for the baby’s sake. I might not be keeping them but this whole thing isn’t their fault and I want them to have good treatment.”

“And as far as you paying him out… I didn’t want you to do that. I wanted it to be me. I wanted him to get that payment from me so he couldn’t write it off as someone else just taking care of me. And not take me seriously when I said I wanted to be done. It means more coming from me. It sucks, this whole thing is not a cakewalk. But, I think it’ll be worth it in the end. I didn’t have control of the situation at the beginning, but I do now. I made the decision.”

Tony was letting what you said sink in. He grabbed a fry and ate it slowly, looking lost in thought. He finally leaned back and met your eyes again.

“I get that,” he said sounding sincere. “It always means more if you’re the one that made the effort. Not just for them but for you.” He nodded and then said, “And I’m sorry for making you feel lonely.”

Trying to joke, you said, “I’ve got Luna.”

“I hope I’m not that easily replaced.”

“No. You’re not.”

He smirked briefly before saying, “Only three more months.”

“Or less.”

“Or less. Way to be hopeful.”

<><><>

You had had false contractions before, but these were stronger. And they were going on for longer than they had before. Gritting your teeth, you wobbled to the door and opened it.

“Terrence!” you called down the hallway. He was there quickly, and you leaned against the doorframe. “It’s bad.”

“What’s bad?” He asked sounding worried.

“The contractions. They’re longer and hurt. I think it’s time!”

“Let me call Tony.”

He whipped out his cell phone and dialed. He was speaking to him quickly. “Hey, Y/N says she thinks it’s time? I’m not sure. She said they’re longer and hurt more?” You gasped as you felt a pop internally and then wetness. You grasped at your crotch and felt dampness. Terrence had followed your hand and he looked slightly more pale. “Anddddd, I think her water just broke. Do you want me to take her?”

<><><>

A soft cry greeted you as you woke up. When they had brought you into the room, you had fallen asleep almost immediately, exhausted. How long had you been sleeping? You turned your head to the right seeing the baby next to your bed, fussing weakly. There was a nurse there and she noticed you were awake.

“Perfect timing, momma. I think he’s hungry.”

“It’s still here?”

“Yes?” The nurse said looking completely confused by your reaction and probably more so that you called him ‘it’. She watched you closely, looking suspicious.

Clearing your throat, you adjusted in the bed and asked, trying to sound calm, “Has... has the father come yet?”

The nurse shot a look in the corner, looking even more confused than before. You did not have time to follow her gaze before Tony’s voice sounded, “I only texted him five minutes ago.”

He was sitting on the built-in bench along the window. You had not even noticed him, all your focus on the small life next to you.

“He’s probably trying to get away from whatever he’s doing and get through traffic,” Tony continued.

So, Tony had not called Steve while it was happening. You had been in labor for five hours. Steve was not going to be happy that Tony had not contacted him, and he had missed the birth while Tony had been there instead. But you were relieved that Steve had not simply blown it off; when you had been in the delivery room, the thought had flashed through your mind.

The nurse raised up your bed and helped you open your gown. She adjusted a pillow to rest on your stomach and went back to grab him. You were hesitant but you held out your arms all the same, taking him gently from the nurse. She helped push his blanket so he was bare against you. You were trying to not be stiff feeling the contact.

“A little closer. The skin-on-skin contact is good,” the nurse encouraged.

Doing as she said, you forced yourself to relax more. His mouth was wet, and you shivered, causing the nurse to chuckle softly, saying to not worry, you would get used to that.

No you wouldn’t, you thought instead of saying it out loud.

Your finger traced along his cheek as he sucked, his little hand resting on your breast next to his mouth. He was calm now, serene in his eating.

“Looks like you’re a natural,” the nurse commented happily. “Be thankful for that!”

“He’s fine, then?” you asked her, looking up.

She nodded, “Healthy as can be.”

“Good,” you said quietly, looking back down at him. You searched his small face, trying to see any part of Steve. The nose maybe, but it was a little wide. His eyes had not been open long enough for you to see and you were not going to disturb him, choosing to keep him comfortable as he fed.

<><><>

You were woken again when you heard people speaking. Blinking awake, your vision cleared to Steve and Tony talking in low voices by the door.

“You fucking prick,” Steve was saying, sounding pissed. “I told you—”

“I was a little preoccupied as you can imagine,” Tony retorted quietly.

Steve spotted you were awake over Tony’s shoulder, and he sucked his teeth before clearing his throat. Snapping his head back to Tony, he said in a dangerous voice, “I’d like the room. If you can find it in yourself to back off for just a while.”

Tony looked over his shoulder, seeing you watching, and sighed before walking back over and grabbing his coat, sunglasses, and phone. He leaned over you and said, “I’ll be back.” He gave you a quick peck on the top of the head before moving past Steve, the two of them sharing a cold look.

Steve walked further into the room, and you were fixated on him for a moment before you turned your attention towards where the baby was sleeping. He approached and looked down at them, a small smile painted on his lips. Reaching out, he touched their cheek, his smile growing.

“Look at him,” Steve said quietly. “Perfect as can be.” He met your eyes and asked, “No complications?” You shook your head. “Good. And he fed?” You nodded again. “Look at you. Perfect as can be too. Though I am not surprised about that.”

Always with the flattery.

He collapsed into the chair beside the little bed and yours. He looked disappointed when he said, “I wanted to be here.”

“Sorry,” you apologized. “I was a little busy.”

“I’m not blaming you. I should’ve known Tony would be an ass about it. Always has to get a jab in. This one was taking it a little too far but I’m just glad everything went okay and you’re alright.”

“I was surprised he was still here when I woke up afterwards,” you told him honestly.

Steve told you, “I’ll take him when you are ready to discharge. It would look odd for me to take him before. Would raise a lot of questions that I don’t feel like getting into with the hospital.” That made enough sense to you. “Plus, let him get as much milk as he can from you before he switches over to formula and my wife’s. I’m worried he won’t take to hers but maybe he won’t be picky.”

He had never told you the specifics about what was going on with her child and you had not asked. You were sure you did not want to know.

“Well, he latches well enough to me. I hope she doesn’t have any trouble,” you said sincerely. Steve was watching you intently and you asked slowly, “What?”

His voice was soft, “Don’t you want to know what his name is?”

“No,” you told him sharply.

“Don’t want to get attached? I know a name can do that.”

“I don’t want to know,” you repeated firmly.

Steve looked sour for a brief moment before he remarked, “I’ll fill the paperwork out then, so you don’t have to see it. Have they dropped it off yet? The birth certificate paperwork, I mean.” You shrugged and he said, “I guess I’ll have to ask one of the nurses when they come in.”

“I’ll be staying here,” he continued on. “Just to make sure I get that paperwork and I’m here when you discharge. Won’t be leaving that up to Tony again. Unlike him, I’ll text him when you’re ready to go so he’s here to get you and you aren’t stranded here upon discharge. I’d take you myself, but Cecile is going to come to be able to go home with me and… the baby.” He had almost slipped up and you had a feeling he had done it on purpose.

He sat forward again, pulling the little bed closer to him, peering over at the little bundle.

“You did good, dove,” he murmured, his eyes fixated on his son. “I never doubted you for a second.”

<><><>

You stood up from the wheelchair and stood up, stretching a little. “Now that that’s over,” you muttered as Tony opened the passenger door. You had been annoyed they had insisted that you had to take a wheelchair out of the hospital. You had been in there for two days and you just wanted to walk more than just around your room, although that had not been recommended. You needed to take it easy while your body healed.

Steve’s voice sounded from behind you, and you turned your head, seeing him walking out with a woman. Your eyes snapped down to the bundle in her arms, seeing the little boy she was cradling. As if she sensed you, she looked over, locking eyes. You saw her eyes flick to Tony and you saw in real time the realization wash over her features before her eyes snapped back to you.

“Come on, Y/N,” Tony said at the same time as you tore your gaze away from her. His hand was around you, guiding you into the car.

The door closed behind you, and you waited for him to get inside. He was quiet when he did, pushing the start button on the car.

You snuck a glance in the side mirror and saw they were gone, and you breathed a sigh of relief.

“Could’ve done without that,” you exhaled.

“I’m sure she could have too,” Tony replied as he pulled away from the curb.

The city passed by as he weaved in and out of traffic. Your hands rested in your lap, watching the buildings go by. Your hand slipped up and you felt a small pang of loss at the flat abdomen you were greeted with. Your fingers flexed in, trying to force yourself to remember this is what normal was.

You startled slightly, pulled from your thoughts as Tony’s fingers slipped around yours, coming in between yours and your stomach. He closed his grip, holding your hand tight, bringing it back down to your thigh. He was quiet but he squeezed your hand reassuringly.

It was going to be okay, you told yourself.

~~~

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ratonnhhaketon · 3 years

Text

Still Breathing

Read on Ao3 | Next Chapter

Summary: Six months after the defeat of Thanos, the world is still in chaos. The threat of the Flag Smashers combined with the new headstrong Captain America means it's time for Valencia Zicari to help save the world one more time. But, in doing so, she also has to pick up the pieces of a broken relationship.

Warnings: Major TFATWS spoilers, Swearing, Angst, Fluff, Slow-Burn, John Walker (just in general)

A/N: HHH, new fic time! TFATWS has been consuming my brain these past few weeks and it was only a matter of time before I made another oc and wrote for Bucky. I’ve had this in the works since the first episode but I’m super excited to finally be ready to start posting! This fic will be relatively short but I do also plan on doing a prequel fic eventually to further flush out my marvel oc, Valencia Zicari. I apologize that this starts off kinda slow, with just two phone calls at the beginning, but it will pick up a lot in the upcoming chapters. In the meantime if you have any questions or comments about the fic or Val’s story, don’t hesitate to send them my way! Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 1 - Your Number On Speed Dial

Bucky’s eyes shot open, his throat closing and lungs gasping for air. He felt the sweat covering his body, the thin blanket tangled between his legs. The cool metal of his dog tags swung against his chest as he sat up, chest heaving as he sucked in breaths and tried to regain his breathing. He looked around his surroundings, slowly calming down as he noticed he was in his apartment.

Another goddamn nightmare.

Realizing he was alone, Bucky instinctively reached up onto the chair next to him for his cellphone. He flipped open the phone, eyes squinting to adjust to the light of the small screen in front of him. He noticed the time, 3:08 am. While he knew that she would more than likely still be up and wouldn’t mind talking, he felt guilty for instinctively reaching out for her this late. Still, he let his hand press accept and after only two rings he heard her familiar voice pick up.

“Hi Buck,” she said with a smile, exhaustion evident in her voice.

“Hi,” he replied with a hoarse voice, sleep still clinging to his vocal chords. “Shouldn’t you be asleep?”

“I could ask you the same question,” she said with a small laugh. “But, yeah. Probably. I’ve been working my ass off trying to get in contact with Fury and nothing is working.”

“Not even through the SHIELD lines?”

She sighed, a hand coming up to rub at her temples. “I’ve tried, but he’s ‘on vacation’ and is only taking messages if they’re life or death.”

“I mean, shouldn’t he be able to make an exception for you? Given, y’know..”

“Unfortunately I lost the ‘you’re my adoptive daughter’ privilege when I decided to grow up and join the Avengers.” Bucky chuckled in response, his nightmare finally starting to fade from the back of his mind. “I’m just.. worried about Wanda. The whole situation still isn’t sitting right with me, especially since any information has been classified and no one at all can access it.”

“Val,” Bucky said quietly, his metal hand coming up to rub against the chain hanging around his neck. “When was the last time you took a break?”

He heard an audible sigh over the phone and a pause before she spoke up. “Not since half of the world disappeared.”

“Well, how about this. Thursday, you finally put all of that aside for a few hours and we can grab lunch. I’ll buy.”

She thought it over for a moment, Bucky’s breath hitching in his throat in the few seconds it took before she spoke up. “Yeah, that sounds nice. We can go to that sushi place you used to take me to.”

“Sounds perfect, doll. I’ll see you then. Now go get some rest.”

“You too, old man.”

~~~~~

Valencia stood in the common room of the compound, a scowl present on her face as she watched the tv. John Walker’s Good Morning America interview was playing at a low volume. She hadn’t even met the man yet and already hated him. Partly because of how he talked about Steve without knowing the first thing about him, and partly because every journalist in the state of New York had been contacting her in an attempt to interview her about the new Captain America. Pulling her eyes away from the screen, she noticed her phone vibrating to announce an incoming call. She answered, a smile tugging at her lips for the first time in the past day. “Hey Bucky.”

“Hi,” he said shortly. She could feel the anger in his voice. “Have you seen the news?”

“Absolutely,” she replied, her scowl returning to her face. “Everyone has been bothering me about it for the past day. I had to tell Pepper that if one more reporter asked to take a statement from me I’d throw someone out of a window.”

“Jeez. Little harsh, don’t ya think?”

“Probably,” she said with a small laugh.

“Hey, have you talked to Sam recently?”

“Yeah, I was just talking to him earlier before you called. He was telling me about having to go to Munich today, something about the Flag Smashers? I don’t know, he didn’t really give me a lot of information.”

“No, that's great. Thanks, doll. See you Thursday.”

“Alright, Buck. See you then.”

~~~~~

Any normal person would be astonished by the amount of trouble one person could get into in the span of 18 hours. But, in terms of being an Avenger, it’s just a normal Wednesday. Especially when it’s Sam and Bucky’s fault. But, Valencia still found a way to be freaking out when Pepper rushed into her room, shoving a phone into her face to announce that Bucky had a warrant out for his arrest. And had subsequently ended up in a Baltimore jail.

In under an hour she had flown down to the city and found the facility Bucky was being held in. She pulled open the door to the jail, eyes quickly scanning the crowd of people before landing on Bucky’s literal partner in crime.

She made a beeline straight for the dark haired man. “You want to explain to me what’s going on here, Sam Wilson?” Eyes narrowed, lips pulled into a tight line.

Upon seeing her he pushed himself out of his chair. “Val! How ya’ been? You been doing okay?”

“Oh cut the shit, Sam. You better have a good explanation for why I found out that Bucky not only had a warrant out for his arrest, but then ended up in a Baltimore jail leaving me to haul ass down here to figure out what in the hell is happening.”

“First, I need you to calm down. Promise me you won’t freak out?”

She glared at him. “Are you-”

“Val,” he said in a stern tone.

She let out a huff before nodding. “Alright, fine. I’m calm.”

“He helped me with that mission in Munich I told you about and then wanted to introduce me to someone in Baltimore. And he may have missed his therapy appointment in the process.”

“He missed-!” Val immediately yelled out, voice louder than anticipated, which drew the attention of the people around them. Sam put an arm around her shoulder and led the two of them over towards an unoccupied side of the room. “Sam, are you serious? He’s been doing so well! He put in so much effort to make sure he made the appointments and you let him go with you?”

“First of all, I told him repeatedly that I didn’t want him coming, but you know how stubborn he is.”

She let out a defeated sigh and dropped her hands to her sides. “So what do we do now?”

“Well lucky for you they’re actually releasing him.”

Before Val could reply she was cut off by the sound of heels clicking before a familiar voice spoke near them. “Sam. I’ve heard a lot about you.” She reached out to shake his hand. “I’m Dr. Raynor. I’m James’s therapist. It’s good to see you again, Valencia.”

Val gave her a smile. “Good to see you too, doc.”

“So nice to meet you. You two already know each other?”

“I took Bucky to the first few of his appointments to make sure that he would, y’know, actually go. But that was before..” she waved a hand in the air, “everything.”

Sam nodded. “Well thank you, Dr. Raynor, for getting him out.”

“Oh, that wasn’t me.”

From across the room a booming voice spoke up, instantly grabbing their attention. “Christina!” The three of them all turned in unison and were met with none other than the new Captain America himself, taking pictures with a bunch of fans. “It’s great to see you again.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me. You know him?” Sam spoke up with a frustrated sigh.

“Yeah, we did some field ops back in the day.”

“I heard you were working with Bucky, so I thought I’d step in.” Val watched as he approached the group, her arms instinctively crossing over her chest. “Miss Zicari, it’s nice to finally meet you. I’ve been trying to reach out for a formal introduction for several days now.”

“It’s Agent, actually. And unlike you I’ve had a lot of other pressing matters that required my attention.”

“Right. Well, anyway. Bucky’s not gonna be following a strict schedule any longer.”

“What?”

“We haven’t finished our work. Who authorized this?”

“Um,” John used both hands to gesture up towards himself. “He’s too valuable of an asset to have tied up.”

Val’s attention went from John to the sound of a metal door closing behind her. Her head turned towards the sound and she was met with none other than a familiar set of blue eyes side-eyeing the blonde man in front of her. She felt the corner of her mouth turn up in a half-smile as his head turned and saw hers. Almost instantly the token frown he wore at all times faded and turned into his own partial smile. She walked over to him, her arms finding their way around his neck subconsciously. “Hey, Buck,” she breathed as his arms wove around her middle, pulling their bodies flush together.

“Hey to you too,” he said with a small laugh. “Pepper finally let you leave the compound?”

She pulled away to look at him. “Less her letting me leave and more so her immediately getting me a flight and shoving me out the door when she found out you got arrested.”

“Alright lovebirds, break it up.” Dr. Raynor said from behind them. Val’s arms dropped to her side and before she had the chance to correct her, the woman spoke up again. “James, condition of your release, session now.” Bucky let out an audible groan, rolling his eyes slightly, to which Val couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle. “You too, Sam.”

“That’s okay, I’ll be out here with Val.”

“That wasn’t a request.”

She pulled her phone from the pocket of her leather jacket and noticed an incoming call. “Just go, I’ll be outside. I gotta take this anyway.” Val walked outside of the jailhouse, sliding a thumb across the screen to answer the call in the process. She partially paid attention to what Pepper was telling her as the new Captain America walked past her, obviously checking her out with a side-eye as she leaned against the chipped bricks. Her eyes narrowed at him as he turned to steal another glance her way before turning her eyes away and down the opposite side of the road.

“Yeah, he’s okay… no, I don’t know the specifics of how it works out with the pardon... I’ll keep you updated, but it doesn’t look like I’ll be back any time soon. I kinda feel like I’ll be joining the idiots on whatever they plan on doing next… Alright, I will. Keep me updated on the whole Westview situation and tell Morgan to stop stealing the snacks from my room. Oh, haha. Take care, Pepper.”

As she hung up the phone she saw the door next to her swing open with a visibly angry Sam walking out of it. Bucky trudged out a few seconds later, looking angry but more upset than the man in front of him. As the door started to close behind him he saw Val and walked over to her.

“Do you think Steve was wrong about me?” She could tell he was fighting back tears by the way his voice cracked at the end.

Her hands cupped his face. “Bucky, no, absolutely not. Why would you say that?”

He looked away, not able to look her in the eye. After all the nights they spent together, her talking him down from a nightmare, reassuring him and chasing the negative thoughts away, he couldn’t admit that part of him still felt that same way. “It.. doesn’t matter.”

“If it’s making you this upset, then yes it does.”

He let out a huff as her thumb began to lightly rub against the stubble on his cheek. “Sam shouldn’t have given up the shield.”

“I know, Buck, I know. But there’s nothing we can do now, so let’s just try to figure out what’s happening with..” she lifted a hand from his face and used it to make vague gestures around them. “Everything right now.”

The loud siren from a police cruiser halted their conversation, the sound making Val physically jump. She looked towards the source of the sound and scowled. This asshole again. “Gentlemen,” John’s eyes scanned Val’s figure quickly before adding, “and lady. Good to see you again.” Begrudgingly, she followed Sam and Bucky’s lead and walked towards the blonde haired man and his sidekick. “Look, if we divide ourselves we don’t stand a chance, you guys know that.”

Sam crossed his arms over his chest. “So what do you got?”

“Should she be hearing this?” John gestured to Val.

She scoffed. “I’m on board now, so out with it.”

“Alright. Well the leader’s name is Karli Morgenthau. We’ve been targeting civilians that have been helping Karli move from place to place. They geotagged a location, then scrambled the signal. But our satellites have found their symbol popping up in various displaced communities all across Central and Eastern Europe. We think that she's taking the medicine she just stole to one of these camps.”

“Well there’s been hundreds of those put up across the planet since The Blip,” Valencia interjected. “So I guess you’ll have to look real hard.”

“Good thing I have 20/20 vision, huh?” John shot back, annoyance prevalent in his voice.

“Where is she now, Walker? Do you know?” Bucky spoke up, patience quickly being stretched thin.

“No, we don’t know, Bucky,” Walker’s voice rose dramatically. “It’s only a matter of time before we find out.”

Bucky cocked his head to the side, eyes narrowing at the man in front of him. “Things are really tense for you, aren’t they Walker?” Val rested a gentle hand against Bucky’s chest, holding him back as a reminder not to do anything irrational- although she definitely wanted him to.

Sam approached the super soldier, putting a hand in the air to further make him back off. “Take it easy. Look, Walker’s right. It is imperative that we find them and stop them. But you guys have rules of engagement and all kinds of authorizations you have to get. We're free agents. We're more.. flexible. So it wouldn't make sense for us to work with you.”

The trio started to walk off before Walker stood up from the cruiser and spoke. “A word of advice, then.” The three of them turned to look at him once again. “Stay the hell out of my way.”

Knowing that it wasn’t worth it to get a final word in, Sam put a hand on either of their shoulders and pushed them to keep walking away. Once they were a reasonable distance down the street, Val turned to Bucky and noticed he was deep in thought. “What’s on your mind, Buck?” she asked with a hand coming up to rest on his shoulder.

“Well, I know what we have to do. When Isaiah said “my people”...” he trailed off, still staring ahead.

“Oh, don’t take that to heart. That’s not what he meant-” Sam tried to correct him before Bucky cut him off.

“No, he meant HYDRA.” He paused for a moment, feet coming to a stop as he looked between the pair next to him. “HYDRA used to be my people.”

“Bucky,” Val spoke up cautiously.”

Sam scoffed. “Not a chance.”

“Walker doesn’t have any leads.”

“I know where you’re going with this, no.”

“He knows all of HYDRA’s secrets. Don’t you remember Siberia.”

“Oh, you cannot be serious,” Val said as she dragged a tired hand over her face.

“So you’re just gonna sit in a room with this guy?”

Bucky hesitated for a moment, obviously not thinking about his idea that much ahead of time. “Y-yes.”

Val sighed, shaking her head slightly. “Out of all your ideas, this has got to be the dumbest.” She looked at Sam, who shrugged his shoulders and nodded. “Fine. Let’s go see Zemo.”

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