#haha loser bird

[sickiepickle]

Scientist 1: Yo, bro. Look at that bird over there. What do you think we should call it??

Scientist 2: Well, it has uniquely blue feet, so how about ‘The Blue Footed Bird’?

Scientist 1: …

Scientist 1: …y’know what would be hilarious

[bob-artist]

Instead of putting my plants out on the balcony, this month I will be growing mourning doves. 😬

They moved in yesterday. Poke bird was not a fan at first, but I think she's getting used to her new neighbors. Orzo is clueless; I don't think he's noticed them yet.

I can't get good pictures because I don't want to scare them, but here's the happy couple:

[miss-atena]

Sometimes I think "Dang, I wish there was more content of this ship or this cool character" and then I remember THE SHIP IS MINE, AND THE CHARACTER IS MINE, I AM THE ONE THAT NEEDS TO CREATE IT And then I go through all stages of grief in no particular order

One day... One day I won't be the only person on earth who draws Fernie, Brutus, and Nicholas or who draws and writes for Floy'nya... One day...

[goosewizard]

1 for mirth

2 for mirth

3 for mirth

4 for mirth

5 for mirth

6 for mirth

7 for mirth

8 for mirth

9 for mirth

10 for mirth

i really like crows

[toontowncreepypasta]

YES YES YES IM SO EXCITED WTF. THAT LOOKS SO GOOD

HAHAHAHA THANK YOU.... ILL BE MAKING MORE SOON

[luxthestrange]

Beastars Incorrect Quotes#36 Losers~

This is a song I feel resonates with...Pretty much Louis, Pina, Bill,Riz, Legos-But imagine singing this to the club members... herbivores and carnivores...

Y/n*After seeing and hearing everyone's pasts...while others were piece of work, You look at your clubmates, You sighs and stand on the stage*...

So things look bad, and your back's against the wall Your whole existence seems fuckin' hopeless You're feelin' filthy as a dive bar bathroom stall and Can't face the world proudly and dopeless~

You've lost your way, ya think your life is wrecked Well, let me just say you're correct~

Louis*Is sitting down, feeling the worst then eyes widen confused at you* Wait, what?

Y/n*Smirking at him taking dancing steps back with a beat In your step,making a "L" with your finger on your forehead and looking at everyone* You're a loser, baby A loser, goddamn, baby You're a fucked up little whiny bitch~

Lous*Offended seeing you dance around him mocking him* Hey!

Y/n*Dancing around Bill now with a smirk* You're a loser, just like me~

Bill*Rolling eyes and gives you the bird* Thanks, asshole

Y/n*Smilling as you twirl Juno and making a "crazy" finger at Riz You're a screws loose Loser An only one-star reviews-er

Y/n*Twerking and laying dramatically in the floor pointing at Pina*You're a power-bottom at rock bottom But you got company~

Drama Club: This supposed to make me/Us feel better?!

Y/n*Looking at your own reflection and thinking about your past of your own past...and traumas* There was a time I thought no one could relate To the gruesome ways in which I'm damaged But lettin' walls down, it can sometimes set you straight! We're all livin' in the same shit-sandwich

Louis*Looking at his own hands at all the damage and hurt he caused others from his less-than-ethical deeds and now people close to him and what he did...just to survive for his father*...I sold my soul to a psychopathic freak -

Y/n*Snickers at that and raises a brow at him, Holding a hand out for him to take to spin him around gleefully and patting his cheek...then rolls eyes* Haha! And you think that makes you unique? Get outta here, man!~ We're both losers, baby We're losers, it's okay to be a~

As everyone stated their own truth about themselves

Y/n*Getting close to Juno with a smile* Baby, that's fine by me~

Juno*Smiles and starts to get into the groove and proudly singing* I'm a loser, honey~ A schmoozer and a dummy But at least I know I'm not alone~

You then finally reach Legoshi and hold your hand out for him to grab...which he does as you pull him into the light

Both of you in harmony: You're a loser, Just like me~

Legoshi*Leans on your back and looks at you affectionately* You're a loser, baby~

Y/n: A loser, but just maybe if we~

Both of you: Eat shit together, things will end up differently

Y/n*Both of you start to dance in each other's arms as you sing to him your feelings* It's time to lose your self-loathin' Excuse yourself, let hope in, baby Play your card, be who you are~

Legoshi*Swinging with you and stepping on beat*OOOoooooh~

Both of you holding each other's hands as you gaze into each other's eyes: A loser, just like meeeee!~

[linkedspirit-fanartfunart]

Look out its a Linkblr Dashboard Simulator!

3 notes

🪶 redwingskies Follow

So who was gonna tell me the Surface is Real, huh? Who.

🎶 ocarina-macarina Follow

Where are you from?? What....what are you??? ....God?

🪶 redwingskies Follow

Nah turns out she's my best friend though.

🪶 redwingskies Follow

Hey btw, If I kill a god does that make me one? Is there like. Rules for this? Asking for a friend. (Like seriously. I don't care. He does.)

1,680 notes

🚋 train-life Follow

Today's Fact: Did you know Trains are the reason New Hyrule has Standardized Time Zones? As citizens needed to know when to get to a train station, the council lobbied for standardized time that could be applied precisely for travel by train! The entire modern perception of time is because of the Train!

⌛️ forestchild Follow

Thanks, I hate it. Lets go back to living by the sun rise and set.

🌸 dont-look-at-me Follow

??? We've always had standard time zones??? What are you talking about. Trains didn't invent that.

🚋 train-life Follow

...they literally did. I re-researched this to double check. What are YOU talking about?

🌸 dont-look-at-me Follow

Time zones? Like. The era of Legend, the Golden era, bullfish like that?

🚋 train-life Follow

... you can swear you know? I'm 12 not a baby.

🌊 kingoftheseagull Follow

you're HOW OLD? I thought you were a Royal Engineer???

🚋 train-life Follow

12? It's in my bio?

🌊 kingoftheseagull Follow

I love you but get the hell off of this website why are you here

🌟 excuuuse-me Follow

Can we go back to the weirdo who thinks Time Zones are HISTORICAL PERIODS?

🌸 dont-look-at-me Follow

Haha yea total weirdo, what, are they like 400 years old or something? Lol

🐴 goatman4life Follow

Actually I wanna get back to why a 12 year old has a job

1,203 notes

🐟 indigo-gos-official Follow

Hey anybody willing to lend me bail money? I'm short like 10 rupees and it's really annoying.

⌛️ forestchild Follow

Wait shit wrong account! Wrong account!!

🐴 goatman4life Follow

Why do you have access to a hyper-famous Zora Band's account??

⌛️ forestchild Follow

Their lead guitarist died in front of me and I am very nice. Now get me out of jail goatman.

23,045 notes

🌳 wildflowerwastaken Follow

.

#hi #i saw a cool bird today #the camera was left on selfie mode so it only got a picture of me squinting at it #the bird noticed the flash and it pecked me until I fell out of the tree #straight into a malice puddle #the bird was pretty tho #so I say my day went great!

2 notes

🌟 excuuuse-me Follow

Hey apparently I need to update people on my boundaries. So. Here is a list of what's okay:

Hugging

Kissing me

Kissing me directly on the lips

👀

Parasocial relationships where you praise me constantly <3

And this is NOT okay

Hunting me for my blood to revive the prince of darkness

Ignoring me

Thank you, that's really all, I'm kinda sad that this has to be said but clarity is wisdom and all.

👑 princess-of-hyrule Follow

Link. This is not what I told you to post.

🌟 excuuuse-me Follow

Well EXUSe ME if my boundaries look different than yours!!

25,690 notes

⚒️ smol-smithy Follow

Hey pulled the Four Sword again so we need help figuring out who gets to run the blog lol.

Thanks everybody

⏳️ forestchild Follow

Lol this loser doesn't know how to make sideblogs

🎶 ocarina-macarina Follow

The poll says "Who gets to be Link on MAIN" though, so maybe they do? They just wanna have one person in charge of the first blog?

⏳️ forestchild Follow

The path to truth is unity. Many voices can be heard within one "main".

-The Diety

⏳️ forestchild Follow

...ignore him, I've made him a sideblog and he refuses to use it.

⚒️ smol-smithy Follow

Hey wait no let him come back, he's the only smart person I've ever heard

-Green (?)

⚒️ smol-smithy Follow

I am going to kill you.

#we have all agreed to not utilize this blog until the poll is complete #so shut up green

10 notes

[ministarfruit]

mini femslashfeb 2023 (scenario edition) prompt list

here's the prompt list for femslashfeb 2023 for the early birds! once again, I'm just doing this for fun but if you’d like to participate on any day with any prompts, please feel free!!

⬇️ full text version of prompts under the cut ⬇️

First time meeting

Accidentally touched your hand

“I like hearing your thoughts”

“One more word on this topic and I’ll kill you”

Came to the rescue!

Oh My God They Were Roommates

So we meet again

“Damn, dude, you live like this?”

It’s Time For Crime

Making music together

“Girl help”

“Get in loser we’re going shopping”

Sharing secrets

Hit me with your best shot!

“Haha get pranked bro”

You’re gonna wish we never met

Pep talk

“Go to sleep!”

Let’s mess this town up, babe! <3

Get you a girl that can do both

“This reminded me of you”

“There is something deeply wrong with you”

Rats! Foiled Again!

“Got into your nerd activity because I love you”

Planning a future together

“Regrettably, that’s the love of my life”

Did it for you

Parting gift

[puddingcatbeans]

tim gets injured and assigned to bedrest except he, on principle of being tim drake, refuses to stay in bed, so it's just an entire week of the batfam chasing him down and dragging him back to bed when they inevitably find him in the cave working on a case. i want like a bugs bunny comedy vibe like.

dick patting himself on the back for finally tucking tim back into bed, only to turn around and there's tim click-clacking away on the batcomputer again, god fucking dammit

steph straight up tries to bribe tim. he took the bribe and did not break eye contact as he rolled out of bed and stepped out of his room

damian getting titus to sit on tim and it works for half an hour, but only because tim is severely sleep deprived and he passed out for a bit

jason rolling tim into a blanket burrito and swaddling him like a baby, haha baby bird, stay put. which takes tim over an hour to get out of. tim doesn't appear in the batcave so jason thought he'd won, but only because tim was too busy fucking up jason's room as revenge

duke (smart) watched the proceedings of the above and gladly helped to open the door for tim. he'll help jailbreak the guy if it meant his electronics stayed safe, ok

bruce tries to "disappointed dad" guilt tim into staying in bed but he should know better because tim is immune by now and is caught sneaking out the fucking window

cass gets the closest to winning this terrible "the untitled tim drake" game. she guilts tim into napping with her, and it truly does work, until she wakes up to find he's dragged his laptop onto the bed somehow and has finished a whole ass report

damian, a sore loser: we should just let him loose. good riddance jason, cracking his knuckles: or i can just put him to sleep, bruce, tired: we are Not finding was to cause more harm to your brother.

in the end it's alfred that finally manages to wrangle tim the escape artist. no one knows how he did it though, the door was closed, no one can prove a thing. and, as alfred always says, a gentleman never divulges his secrets.

[creatorisdumb]

‼️‼️Random Smiling Critters headcannons I made for no reason ‼️‼️

All under cut. This one is long af, I don’t wanna take up too much room with my silly billys 🥺🥺🥺

DogDay:

•He’s a leash child. There is no way he isn’t a leash child. Anytime he and the other critters go somewhere new they HAVE to put him on a leash or he’ll get lost.

•He also has a mussel(?) that they put on him whenever he’s being a problematic emo puppy. He doesn’t wear it often but every other month CatNap just puts it on him.

•Speaking of the mussel, DogDay HATES baths. The girls got so tired of his ‼️STANK‼️ that they forced him to take a bath. He was so uncooperative that they used both a mussel and a cone on him.

•Whenever Picky cooks something with cheese DogDay will just sit beside her and beg for some. Average dog moment Ngl.

•His favorite toy is an old ass, gross fucking tennis ball that Kickin probably gave him. The amount of times he has been hit in the face with it is insane.

CatNap:

•He’s selective mute. Anytime he does speak he’s either forced too, high on the nip or VEEERYY annoyed. Whenever he needs to communicate he’ll just use sign language.

•CatNap can fall asleep anywhere. He could fall asleep on a cactus and he wouldn’t care. He’s a cat, anything is possible.

•He plays like a cat. Lasers, those feather toy things, catnip, boxes, string, anything.

•One of his love languages is gift giving. He’ll often give people he likes dead rodents or random trinkets. He likes to give Bubba dead or fake rats.

•Sometimes Bubba will give him catnip. Whenever he does, CatNap gets hyperactive and really talkative. He also tries to get Bubba to give him more, although any attempts will fail.

•He’s kinda the only critter who can climb. Because of this, to get some sleep time, he’ll just climb the tallest/closest tree he can find and sleep on a good branch.

Kickin:

•Short ass loser. Probably the shortest male. What a beta male Ngl. /j

•A very angry child. Whenever he’s angry he kicks (Haha get it?) and screams. Often times someone has to hold him back from beating the shit out of someone (That someone most likely being Hoppy)

•I don’t know if chickens are like this but idfc. He doesn’t like being touched on the back or under his wings(or arms..? Ig..?) for bird reasons. Bubba is completely aware of this and sometimes rubs those spots to piss off Kickin.

•When being held from beating the shit outta people he pecks at their arms to get free. His beak is rather sharp so it often hurts. Although Bubba is usually the one to hold him back so he tries to avoid pecking at Bubs arms. With anyone else tho, their arms end up slightly bloody.

•He probably uses Gen Alpha slang ironically (same bro)

Bubba:

•His favorite school subject is math. What a fucking loser. Lame. Lame!! Loser!!!! (Shhh…! Don’t look at my grades-!!!!)

•He’s probably the biggest of the male critters. He’s really heavy and kinda a fat boy 0-0 the only one who can get him at least a centimeter off the ground is Bobby. This freaks the shit out of him.

•At states earlier, CatNap likes giving him dead/fake rats. This has become such a common occurrence between the two that anytime CatNap gives him a gift box he has someone else open it.

•^^^ Bubba is terrified of rodents, especially rats and mice. He has mice traps everywhere, mostly in random, barely noticeable corners. (Blame CatNap, he’s done this one to many times)

•He’s got MAD rizz bro. Everyone but Picky (I headcannon her as lesbian) and Hoppy has had a crush on him at some point. Kickin was the only one who got lucky tho.

•His little charm thing can glow, although it has to be turned on for it to glow.

•He’s a bit chubby… he’s got that good chub. Make him a big boy, he’s an elephant, make him big.

Hoppy:

•You cannot tell me she doesn’t own a trampoline bro. You ‼️CANNOT‼️ tell me she don’t own a trampoline.

•That being stated, she will often stargaze on it during them good nights. She will also play on it with the other critters, although they often get off it once she gets a little too silly.

•She will often tease Kickin for being gay despite her being biromantic. The most sibling ever.

•Dumbass probably vegan. Carrot. Dumbass loser!!!

•Whenever she runs a certain speed she does a bunch of hops to pick up speed. No one knows why she does it. Not even her, she’s been doing this since she was a lil bun bun, it’s a habit at this point.

Picky:

•Girl is VERY protective of her precious kitchen. Whenever she’s cooking she doesn’t let anyone but Bubba or DogDay in. Anyone else and they will be yelled at in angry pig language.

•She cooks mad food bro. If she isn’t there you might as well just die, it’s not worth it.

•”Can we get McDonald’s?” “We got McDonald’s at home.”

•Her favorite show is Hell’s Kitchen and her favorite movie is Ratatouille and Rainy with a chance of meatballs. Change my mind.

•She and Bubba are high-key sibling core Ngl. On the second Tuesday of every month they exchange information. Picky will give him the other critters current diets, weight and physical health and Bubba will give her cooking recipes. No one but them knows about this.

CraftyCorn:

•Girlie definitely ate paint and drew on walls. She is the least likely to have never purposely tasted the purple watercolor pigment and drank the cursed paint water potion.

•She gets high off of scented markers, I don’t make the rules. Her favorite flavor of marker is blue.

•She probably bedazzles everything given to her. Oh that moldy chicken nugget? It’s shinier than a disco ball now. Your favorite hoodie you gave her bc she’s ur tiny girlfriend? She’s now a walking diamond. Your grandmas ashes? Granny has never looked better! Your kidney? The only kidney stones I’m seeing are the stones blinding me because holy shit, i have a bedazzling problem.

•She teaches the others how to draw during the weekend. Whenever someone finished a project she hangs them on her walls and her favorites go on the fridge. Bubba can’t draw, but he still tries.

•Since she’s the only one who really has hair, Bobby likes styling her hair into silly little styles. Her favorite to put on her are pigtails and braids.

Bobby:

•She loves physical affection. She loves touching, being around people, yes. She definitely gives the best hugs out of all of them.

•Bitch probably wears heart shaped glasses when out with the girlies. They do find it attractive.

•We need more fat girl appreciation bro. Make her a big girl. I wanna see people draw her as a unit. She’s a bear, give her chonk! Healthy fat girls are hot, make her hot XCCCCCC ‼️‼️‼️‼️

•She’s decently strong, due to bear. Not as strong as Bubba, but still pretty strong as she’s the only one who can lift most of them off the ground at the same time.

•She probably writes love letters to the others but never sends them. Right to the shredder!

•She and DogDay are in a poly relationship with the other critters. They are in a very happy relationship and it’s very wholesome.

Finally just for shits and giggles, here’s every time I mentioned a critter outside their own head cannons

DogDay: 2

Catnap: 4

Kickin: 3

Bubba: 11

Hoppy: 2

Picky: 2

Crafty: 0 (Fucking loser)

Bobby: 2

I do not have a bias. No

Not one.

[coeluvr]

i love luceris calling mc little bird/bird (ive done it with dnd characters with similar themes to mc!! feeling/being trapped and wanting to escape)

may i put forth the suggestion of "birdie" or "song bird" when luceris is feeling particularly snarky

like "oh the song bird's really acting up today" shit

Yay! I'm glad people like the idea because I was hesitant since I thought people wouldn't really like it haha

Those are nice ideas, they made me think of MC and Luceris having a meal together and being served chicken or pigeon or whatever birds people eat and Luceris being like hehe haha 😈 in the pathetic loser way he is LMAO but also imagining little scaredy cat MC starting to cry because they're just a baby 😭

[nattinatalia]

Jack Harlow x Reader : INSTAGRAM AU

Liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, g_eazy, yourbestiename and 8,567,345 others

yourusername 🎶 Que me dé duro, que me diga cosas nasty. Que me quite el estrés y me quite los panties 🎶 🚨 new music coming soon ‼️

View all 1,300 comments

yourbestiename OHHH HOT DAYUMNN 😋 🥵

g_eazy 🔥 🔥 😍😍😍😍

yourbestiename Go away loser

druski why is another man on your shirt and not your actual husband?

yourusername You’re annoying!!!

urbanwyatt HAHA 😂 but like answer the question y/n

yourusername I’m about to kick you out, stop instigating

jackharlow 😍😍 damn my wife is sexy ass hell goddamn I’m hard.

yourusername Jackman, act right.

jackharlow I’m admiring your beauty and letting you know what your beauty does to me 🥵 💦 🍆

yourusername Your mom is on here, she’s going to call you and scold you.

jackharlow She just did 😩

user not Jack ignoring g eazy comment

user he doesn’t care that’s why

user no he just doesn’t care because he shares her with all these rappers.

jackharlow 😂😂😂chill out

claybornharlow Why do people make things up? Straight out of their ass? My brother is happily married, has two beautiful kids. He doesn’t have to address a damn thing because he knows everything at home is perfectly fine. So can you guys stop.

urbanwyatt Plus Geraldo is a groupie, he’s been wanting to get with y/n and y/b/n

jackharlow 🙄 Over it

•

Liked by yourusername, claybornharlow, neelamthadhani, urbanwyatt, and 4,344,976 others

jackharlow It’s their world, I’m just living in it.

View all 1,300 comments

yourusername Mis amorcitos 🥺

urbanwyatt Mia is a mood

yourusername Come get your goddaughter because the way she was acting before the picture was taken, total diva 💅🏼

urbanwyatt 😂😂 I believe it.

jackharlow She demanded a little spa night because her day was “exhausting” from making sure her little brother didn’t run off into the penguin sanctuary 😭😭

urbanwyatt Who’s gonna tell her Ezequiel is afraid of penguins?

druski how is one afraid of penguins? Oh Jackman’s seed only 😂😂

jackharlow I’ll fuck you up. If I recall correctly, didn’t you have him feed a duck and he got poked??? So now he’s afraid of ALL bird animal related.

cozane Dru be terrorizing kids everywhere.

yourusername That’s why my kids terrorize him back 😈

druski They really do, won’t forget the time Mia called me broke 🙄 she’s lying to everyone.

claybornharlow Don’t lie on my niece now.

•

Liked by yourusername, djdrama, neelamthadhani, yourbestiename, and 7,334,876 others

jackharlow Did you miss us? 🤪

View all 1,300 comments

yourusername WE’RE BAAACKKK 👀

urbanwyatt They not ready 🤫

druski I missed you only!!!!! Should’ve left y/n stranded on the island

yourusername I hate you.

djdrama 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔜 💿

cozane Tell a friend of a friend, THE HARLOWS ARE BACK!!!

jackharlow 🤪 💜

•

Liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, jackharlowsource, neelamthadhani, yourbestiename, and 8,567,345 others

yourusername ✨ Life lately ✨ what it’s all about. The three loves of my life.

View all 2,300 comments

jackharlow 💜💜💜

jackharlow I love you

jackharlow Also not me missing the last slide 😭 you play too much

jackharlowsource 😂☺️

druski You swear, he gave that chain to me

yourusername Damn then I guess he has two different ones because I was just wearing it while riding him

druski 🤮

yourusername 🤪🤪🤪

urbanwyatt My babies 💜💜 lmao at the last slide!!!!! It was really like that though.

user explain 👀

urbanwyatt no iykyk

yourusername 😭😭😭

•

TAG LIST

@heavyhitterheaux @harlowsbby @arination99 @cmalass @jackharloww @minkookie95 @deannaard @jacksmoviestar @harlowcomehome @fdl305 @httpkoylinnn @xoxokiaraaxoxo @hoodharlow @automaticpeachsong @amethyst09 @aliciacat20 @allyson15 @gabbylovesreading @stefansalvatoresgf @violetdreamsworld @carma-fanficaddict @jasminxts @itsaaliyah2 @itsyagirljaz @harrycanyonmoonn @neon-lights-and-glitter @awhore4moree @toocriticalharlow-deactivated20 @thefemalestorywriter @lightsoutstyles @violetslays818 @fantasywritersstuff @Killatravtramp

[cookieswithay]

"The happy feelings club!"

🧡Ichigo x Orihime🧡 Ichihime fic

💝Episode 2: Yasutora Sado! (More like Chad!) Ep. 1🧡

°○°•●•°○°•●•°○°•●•°○°•●•°○°•●•°○°

• Orihime's pov!

• Beep! Beep! Beep!

• ...Huh?

• I opened my eyes and rubbed them a bit. What time is it?

• Beep! Beep! Beep!

• Better yet...what day is it? I grabbed my phone and pressed the power button.

• "Thursday."

• Thursday...a school day! Ah! I gotta get ready! I (almost) fell out of my bed and scrambled around my room. There's so much to do! Breakfast, clothes, my hair! Oh! And where's my bow!? I can't leave without it, Sora bought for me! And it's so pretty-

• 💭Orihime.

• I stopped in my tracks. My brain was suddenly full of moving pictures from yesterday...that guy. ...Ichigo. Ichigo Kurosaki. I get to see him again today. I wonder...if he wants to see me too. Did I make a good first impression? Or...was I too much again..?

• My door suddenly opened.

• "Orihime! Are you awake?"

• "I made breakfast alre-"

• Eep! I jumped and covered my chest.

• "Sora! I'm getting dressed!"

• "Leave!"

• My brother covered his eyes and shut the door. That...was scary and a close one. I should really lock my door more often. Or ask Sora to knock more. But, he usually does-

• 💭Meow.

• Oh yeah, the kitty! I hope Mr. Shunshi found it a good home. Or maybe it's living at his house.

• Wait...

• The guy who saved the kitty...

• He was really tall and reminded me of that one cupcake I ate.

• ...

• I wonder who he is.

              🧡🏵🌼🍊(Intro song)🧃☄🧩🧸🧡

• "Morning, Orihime!"

• "Morning, Mrs. Suzuki!"

• Everyone always is so nice in the mornings. The street rules are followed. The dogs are lively. And the birds actually let me take pictures of them! Hopefully, I have enough memory in my camera this time.

• "Orihime!"

• I turned around. It was Tatsuki! I waved back.

• "Hiiii!"

• She caught up to me and pinched my cheek. And that really hurt!

• "Why didn't you wait for me?"

• "I told you I was gonna be late."

• Oh yeah. She did, didn't she? I blinked back tears.

• "I was waiting! But then, I saw a pigeon and I followed it!"

• Tatsuki sighed and let me go. I rubbed my cheek. ...Was that bad? She pushed her hair back. She always does that.

• "Oh well."

• "I caught up to you now."

• She slung her arm over my shoulders.

• "Now show me that pigeon you took a picture of."

• Oh yeah! The pigeon!

🧡

• Ichigo's POV!

• This desk is making my face really cold, but it's better than interacting with my class. Haha, they think I'm sick. (And, trouble. Cause my hair) Although, I'm sure I can't keep up this flimsy facade, at least it'll hold me for awhile. Maybe I'll even trick Keigo and Muzuiro. ...Probably just Keigo.

• Wait a second...

• I can hear myself breathe. Why's it so quiet all of a sudden. I raised my head.

• Hey...

• "Is this class 2-B?"

• (I had to guess the class, the internet was useless!)

• It's that guy again. The one who saved the cat the other day. He goes here? Everyone looked too scared to say anything, so I stood up. Losers.

• "Yeah, you got the right place."

• He looked at me.

• "Thank you."

• He said. Everyone freaked even more when he fully walked in. A few one 'em looked like they might even pass out. And this guy is completely oblivious. I "coughed" and pointed to the empty seat next to me. I hope this guy gets the hint. He strikes me as someone's who slow on the uptake- Oh, nevermind. He's coming.

• ...Goddamn, he's tall. The moment this guy sat down, I was...intimidated? No, not intimidated...overwhelmed. He's HUGE. His hair covers his eyes and he's tan. He's probably not from here. And if I get crap for just my hair, this guy probably has loads of problems.

• ...

• Do I wanna be friends with this guy-?

• "Ichigo!"

• I looked through the door. It's Orihime! Kensei won't be back for a hot second... Maybe I can just say hi. (Keigo said it too, but I drowned him out.)

🧡

• Orihime's POV!

• I tried not to laugh as Ichigo "walked" towards me.

• (He tripped over someone's backpack and his friend was tugging on him🤭)

• He eventually got out of the classroom and leaned on the door.

• "Good morning, Orihime."

• I smiled and bowed down. All my hair falling with it.

• "Good morning, Ichigo."

• He cleared his throat and looked off. ...Do I have breakfast on my face?

• "Do you want something or are you just saying hi?"

• That's...a good question. I...don't have a reason. I just spotted his orange tuft of hair and spoke to him before I could even think about it.

• So, I shrugged. And that made Ichigo laugh.

• "Ah-em."

• Oh yeah...Tatsuki's still here. How embarrassing.

• "Since when do you two know each other?"

• Wait, Tatsuki's knows Ichigo? Since when? Did she always know him or did they become pals here?

• "I'm the new member of the 'happy feelings club'."

• Oh, he's gonna explain.

• "I'm sure Orihime told you all about the cat situation."

• Tatsuki sighed.

• "She sure did. She called me the moment she got home."

• As they talked, I looked through the window of class 2-B. Huh? Most of the girls in this class are the ones that say they'll come to the HP club, but don't. ...It's the kitty saver again!

• That gives me an idea..!

🧡

• Ichigo's POV!

• "Ichigo, be more careful, you moron."

• Tatsuki sighed, crossing her arms.

• "You would've died, if Orihime didn't come along."

• "I know."

• I already got the 'be safe' careful speech from Yuzu yesterday. (Mr. Shunsui gave my old man a call about what happened.)

• "Ichigo! Ichigo!"

• I looked down. Orihime's on my arm. She's making the "lean down" motion too. So I did.

• "Can you do me a favor?"

• She "whispered." I nodded.

• "Sure, what is it?"

• She looked back at my classroom.

• "Can you ask him to join our club?"

• Huh? I looked up.

• "Who?"

• The ginger pointed at the new guy who's sitting next to me now. Mm...that might be tough. Not only did I only say 2 words to 'im, I don't know if we can trust him yet. He seems quiet, but I've been duped before.

• "Are you sure?"

• Orihime nodded.

• "He's a good person, I sure of it.

• Okay...um...

• "I'll have a answer for you after school, okay?"

• She smiled. Whew, it's okay.

• "Well, the bell's gonna ring soon so..."

• Orihime let go of my arm and stood next to Tatsuki again.

• "Bye, Ichigo. I'll see you later!"

• I chuckled and waved. Tatsuki nodded to me too. I watched them off, thinking.

• ...

• How the hell am I convince that guy to join the happy feelings club!?

🧡

• Sometime later...

🧡

• Chad's POV!

• I think Ichigo wants to be friends with me. (I saw his name on his folder earlier.) All day, he's been asking questions and just staring. I don't mind, I guess. I think he might be doing it for his girlfriend though. I saw them chatting in the hallway earlier. And right now, Ichigo's following me. Or is he grabbing the volley balls too?

• ...

• This is getting awkward.

• "Uh, Ichigo."

• He looked up.

• "Do you need something?"

• He looked away. ...I thought so.

• "Y'know, you don't have to hang around me out of pity."

• "I have friends that don't go to this school."

• I hope I didn't come of as rude but... This isn't the first time this has happened. I just want to end it before he does.

• ...

• I don't hear anymore footsteps. Guess I got my point across.

• "Hey."

• I turned around.

• "I'm not talking to you out of pity."

• ...

• "I genuinely want to be your friend."

• He walked past me and grabbed a ball.

• "Whether you want to be friends with me is your choice."

• "But just know,"

• Ichigo held the ball up to me.

• "I'm choosing you to be on my team for the game."

• I didn't say anything, but I nodded. I'm...I'm okay with this.

🧡

• Orihime's POV!

• "Alright, Orihime! You're up to bat!"

• Tatsuki shouted. We girls have baseball for p.e. today! West girls against East girls! (Our school is split into two. It has a interesting reason but, I can't remember.)

• I gripped the bat tightly. Loly's pitching. If I don't hit the ball at the right time, it'll hit my breast! Or my throat, or stomach, or somewhere else painful. But, me and Tatsuki have been practicing. I'll...be okay.

• "You got this Orihime!"

• (Chizuru cheered.)

• "Good luck!"

• (Michina)

• "Hit the winning point!"

• (Machana)

• My friends are cheering me on. I can't miss the ball now. I took a breath and stared in Loly's pink eyes.

• I can do this.

• The ball flew.

• I swung.

• And..!

• "Oof!"

• A volleyball hit me in the face instead? I fell one my butt, a little dazed.

• "Orihime!"

• Is my nose bleeding? Or is that...it's probably blood. Someone pulled me up to my feet.

• "Who the hell did that!?"

• "I'll give the most painful and slow death ever!"

• It was Tatsuki. (And the other bit was Chizuru.)

• I was leaned against her shoulder. My nose doesn't hurt anymore. So, I should probably save whoever's facing Tatsuki's wrath. I stood up straight.

• "Tatsuki, it's okay. I'm fine-"

🧡

• Ichigo's POV!

• Shit!

• I moved Tatsuki out of the way. And stretched forward. I won't forgive myself if Orihime falls!

• I missed her by a second.

• Dammit!

• Whoosh!

• I saw Chad's hand grab hers.

• (So, I named the guy cause I don't know what's on his birth certificate. Sue me.)

• "Sorry about the ball."

• He said, oddly calm. He always is, but this was a serious adrenaline rush. My chest actually hurts. Orihime looked down. I nearly saw spirals in her eyes.

• "I'm...a-okay!"

• Whew, at least she sounds okay. Hold on-

• "Whoa, you're nose is bleeding."

• Like ALOT. Damn, how hard did I spike the ball? (...Really hard. Ikaku kept taunting me.)

• She stood up and wiped her nose.

• "Ah. No, Orihime. You'll get blood on your arm."

• I said, using my own shirt to wipe nose.

• "What's going on over here?"

• Dammit, it's Coach Zaraki. All the girls (except Tatsuki) hid behind Chad. I swallowed hard. Guess I'll explain.

• "We, uh, accidentally hit Inoue here with our volleyball."

• "So, we're just apologizing."

• Zaraki narrowed his eyes at me and then looked at Orihime. And he cupped her face with one hand. I flinched. That's not hurting her, is it?

• "Hmm..."

• The blood trickled on his hand.

• "You're fine, child. Just get some napkins and get back to baseball when you're done."

• "Got it?"

• Orihime nodded. And he turned around. FINALLY, he's leaving-

• I felt a big hand on my shoulder. Dammit, I spoke too soon!

• "You can go with her, but in exchange,"

• "You're coming to the ring tomorrow."

🧡

• Orihime's POV!

• Uhh...Ichigo looks scared! Is Coach Zaraki telling him something scary!?

• I felt a tap.

• I looked back. The cupcake guy wanted something. Oh, and he has a tissue. I took it and blew.

• "You're Orihime, right?"

• I nodded. I am but...how does he know? We just met now.

• "I saw your flyer and Ichigo brought you up."

• He did?

• "Was it nice things?"

• I did NOT mean to say that outloud.

• "Uh-huh."

• No details. Okay then...

• "Ichigo told me you need new members."

• "Do I have to bring something to the table?"

• I gasped and almost cheered! But, I covered my mouth and took a deep breath.

• "Just bring anything that makes you happy."

• He remained quiet and nodded. I think I saw a little smile though! (And a brown eye too!) He picked up the ball and walked away.

• ...

• Aw, bean sprouts! I forgot to ask his name! Ichigo popped back up next time me.

• "Okay, I grabbed a hell ton of napkins and-"

• "Oh, you already got one."

• He looked around.

• "Chad went back?"

• I nodded. (That's his name?)

• We walked to the fence and I used a few more napkins.

• "Did...he say anything to you?"

• I smiled.

• "Yeah! I think we got a new member of the club!"

• "High five!"

• Ichigo chuckled and put his hand on mine. (It wasn't hard like a normal high five though.)

• I sighed. A new friend and a new member.

°○°•●•°○°•●•°○°•●•°○°•●•°○°•●•○°

• "Bye, Orihime. See you tomorrow."

• "Bye, Michina!"

• I gotta round up my things quickly. Sora's picking me up today. And I have to babysit Nel. Plus, I'm getting really really hungry, since I lost my lunch earlier. I picked up my satchel and zipped out if my classroom.

• (Not before leaving my finished assignment on Mr. Jushiro's desk. And a candy bar too. Can't let his blood sugar go down.)

• "Excuse me!"

• I dashed through the hallway. Once I get in the car, I'll test Tatsuki that I'm getting home safely-

• Once again, I slammed into something. But, this time it was a back. A tall-ish one.

• "I'm sorry. I should've been more careful!"

• I saw GLASSES next me. Oh my goodness, I bump them hard!

• The person (turns out a boy) picked up the glasses and put them back on. Huh? He has band aids on his fingers.

• "Be more careful next time."

• And he walked away. Hm. I stood up and dusted my skirt off. Sora's probably waiting-

• Hold on a sec. I bent down.

• It was a keychain. With a beautiful little doll on it. I looked at the bustling hallway. Was this the glasses boy's doll?

°○°•●•°○°•●•°○°•●•°○°•●•°○°•●•°○°

(Tag list time: @elyonholic, @o0o0thorn0o0o, @ichihimelover1503, @ichinoue, @takibikaen, @usoppsstar)

°○°•●•°○°•●•°○°•●•°○°•●•°○°•●•°○°

This accidentally longer than the first episode, but I hope everyone enjoyed this! And the intro music. I...wish I fleshed this episode out more, but I have good plans for the next episode! So please, stay tuned and warm😎)

°○°•●•°○°•●•°○°•●•°○°•●•°○°•●•°○°

[astridthevalkyrie]

chand ko chakor dekhe, tujkho naseebo wala (the bird looks at the moon, a lucky one looks at you) | hawks x reader | chapter 6

“You’ve died twice? From clocks? “I know you’re not blind to the rocks and debris flying literally everywhere! The world would be better off without you in it!” you scream at the villain. The machine is even louder as it breaks and jams into the ground. “Flying building pieces or something, I don’t know—one hit me yesterday. The first day I got knocked into a wall, and then I woke up hugging my body pillow. Same thing the next day. And the next, and the next. Did my number three pro hero partner save me? No, he let me get stuck in a fucking time loop!” Or, you’ll do a lot of things with infinite time on your hands, but falling in love with Keigo Takami isn’t one of them.

a/n: yesssss update's out have a fun time reading!

warnings: suicide attempts (with the understanding that she will reset), hawks pins reader to a building, rudeness, icky romantic stuff 🤮

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

“Whoa.” Your hands come up in front of your chest as the kid’s arm crackles—crackles?—with lightning. “Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa hang on, I don’t fight children!”

You don’t think the nerd hears you, because he’s jumping forward with wide, fearful, despaired eyes. “Detroit”—of course he’s an All Might copycat, USA lover, star spangled stripes, would still smash their number one hero, though more like she’d smash you because she’s super strong—”SMAAASH!”

Fuck your life. Truly.

—————————————————

You go back to the beach the next today. Not to kill All Might again, even if you did cheat and break the vow you’d made to yourself the first day you officially started training to be a hero (haha your soul is broken you’re going to hell except you’re not because you’re stuck in a time loop and ohmygosh maybe this is hell maybe when you got hit by the rock that first day you died what the shiiiiit). No no, you won’t kill him again, because you’re just far more interested in who this tiny little green loser is and just how he KOed you with one punch.

That’s not, like, easy. You killed the top ten heroes minus the dumb bird! By right of passage, that makes you the number one! Or at least the number two if Hawks is de facto one even though he totally isn’t. He admitted MULTIPLE times that he would have just let you kill him. Who needs a flimsy number one hero like that?

Speaking of flimsy number one heroes.

You’re probably losing your mind more than you thought. Why are you looking at a chibi version of All Might?

Goddamn are heroes stupid! You’re perched up just barely out of view and neither the LITERAL NUMBER ONE or his protege have noticed you as they eat and yap about CLASSES of all things!

Okay, so when you killed All Might, he wasn’t exactly himself because he hasn’t had his Snickers bar yet or whatever. Which means you didn’t really kill the number one, and so the right of passage still leaves you at number two (yeah yeah, de facto Hawks number two, then you). 

So if Small Might (good one! that’s original!) can’t fight you, that would mean the real foe you’d need to defeat is YOUNG MIDRORIYA! Only problem is that YOUNG MIDORIYA! is a child and y’know, you’re not quite that comfortable in your amorality yet. Already you feel queasy every time you think about the way you killed LightMight. 

Still, one doesn’t just go around California Cabana-ing every single person they see, so when YOUNG MIDORIYA! starts walking back to whichever hovel he crawled out of, you follow him until you see someone trip in front of him, large drink in their hands. 

What would have soaked his shirt now completely coats his face with just a liiiiitle bit of wind.

Respect your elders, kid. You’ll never be the next Mini Might with that attitude. Although, that isn’t any reason to apologize that profusely to the lady that spilled the drink. No, there’s no need to buy her a new drink either, your face got soaked, not her’s, she was the one not looking where she was going. OFFERING AN AUTOGRAPH FROM ERASERHEAD? HUH? DID SHE LOSE HER DRINK OR DID SHE LOSE HER WHOLE GODDAMN FAMILY?

Oh, she doesn’t even know who Eraserhead is. Ha. That’s right, walk home with your sorry little green head all wet. That’ll teach you not to bribe civilians.

—————————————————

The next day, you wake up, ignore Hawks’ text first thing in the morning, open your window and jump out. Then you wake up in your bed again, and repeat. Repeat. Repeat. It’s entertaining for all of six minutes before the nothingness and despair becomes passionless.

What’s left? What more is there?

Well, it was kinda fun taking Ryukyu up to space (no it wasn’t?). You could try that again. Opening the window, you go up this time, instead of down.

Today, you’ll try to reach the sun.

First, you’re shot by someone who must think you were a stray bird. First, rude. Second, still illegal. Rot in jail. You love being a pro hero, the police do whatever you say with overt rudeness but begrudging submission. 

Second, you look into the sun too long and uh. Die. That one’s embarrassing.

Third, claws dig into your hips and yank you down. 

“Hey!” You scratch at the hands assisting gravity in bringing you closer to the ground. “What the hell, what are you doing? You never get here this early!”

“What are you doing? Where are you even going?”

“I will kick you in the balls if you don’t let me go, you dumb shit!”

“You’re so nice,” Hawks drawls, and his legs wrap around yours too, one arm around your front to pin your arms to the side. Now it’s only his wings keeping you afloat, his air giving you flight. It infuriates you, appealing muscles aside. “Someone just took a picture of us, by the way. Have fun explaining that one.”

You growl as fiercely as humanly possible, wriggling in his grasp. “Stupid stupid stupid bird impedes justice, gets murdered for it.”

“Too wordy for a hashtag.”

“Okay, how’s about—” It makes your chest hurt when you do it, but you suck in wind towards you using your own breath, and shoot it down to throw his arms away from you. “Hashtag I Did Hawks’ Dad!”

His wings flap as he falls, but he catches himself in no time. You’re propelling back up already, clouds not even within touching distance yet. Not that you wanna touch them. They’re really cold. Might as well touch Endeavor’s heart while you’re at it.

“For your information.” His nails graze your nape this time, and he grips the back of your uniform. With a grunt, he pulls you back again, too strong for those weak birdy bones. You shoot downwards, gasping. “That would make you a criminal fucker.”

You’re sideways, hair twisting in strange ways as you glare up at him. His wings expand impressively, blocking the sun and giving you a good look at a world of crimson gold. 

“Sorry about your dirtbag father. Can you get out of the fucking way?”

Hawks holds up a finger with a condescending look, pointing to his right, then his left. “See these? These are legitimate directions to fly in. Up is nothing. Up doesn’t have anything for you.”

“You’re a fake friend,” you spit, jetting up with a fist raised. 

He blocks, immediately raising his leg to kick you, but you saw that move coming because sometimes you watch his fight compilations for entertainment (and his compilations in real life too, duh). His foot connects with your arm, and the sunlight gleams in his visor. “Is that so? Elaborate for me.”

“Do you know how fucking bored I am? Do you have any idea how much I hate every single fucking person on this planet?”

You land a square hit on his chest; the victory is short lived. Feathers sneak into your sleeves and pull you down, ignoring your kicking and screaming.

“Who could you possibly hate?” he sings.

“You, for starters, winged piece of shit! And Endeavor, yeah, that’s right, dickrider. Cry about it. I hate All Might too—did you know he’s a fraud? And his stupid ass sidekick, or ex boyfriend, or whatever, I paid him a visit and every time he’s about to tell me my future I end up dying, because life hates me just as much as I hate life! I’m not even allowed to know how I go out! Ryuku and Best Jeanist think they can appeal to my better nature, well, I DON’T HAVE ONE! Oh, I hope you get to marry someone someday, Hawks, and I hope they cheat on you and take all your money.”

It might look like you’re flailing, but you’re not. You’re just trying to air out your own clothes to get the feathers out. The man who had taken a picture of you is not full on recording the fight you and Hawks are having.

You flash him two matching middle fingers. 

“Stop it,” Hawks snarls, apparently fed up now (one word against Endeavor and Fanboy Hawks comes out to play). “That shit’ll go viral, you know it will.”

“Sorry to ruin your perfect image, golden boy.” You finally rip the last feather out of your sleeve, biting it in half and spitting it out just to spite him. “Kiss my ass—fuck!”

You’re pinned. Fully against the building. The feathers aren’t under your clothes, they don’t need to be. They connect with each other to form a link that pins your ankles and wrists individually and before you can suck in any air a few more stuff into your mouth as a makeshift gag. Upside down. “I’m not worried about my image, songbird. Your popularity rating is at an all time low lately.”

Because you don’t pose for posers the way he does. And also maybe how not child friendly you are in interviews. Maaaybe because most of the other heroes don’t even like you enough to team up with you.

Not! That! It! Matters!

Hawks can read you well enough from your eyes. He maneuvers his body upside down to look at you face up, and looks into your gaze with a slight quirk of his lips. “What’s the matter, Nightingale? You hate hero society all of a sudden?”

NO SHIT.

“You wanna skip patrol today?”

NO.

“Why not?”

WE’LL BE CALLED TO FIGHT CLOCKINTHEHOLE ANYWAY AND IF WE DON’T GET THERE IN TIME PEOPLE GET INJURED AND YOU GET ALL SAD FOR THE REST OF THE DAY.

“Sorry, gonna need your mouth to transcribe that one.” The gag is lifted and before you can scream he covers your mouth with his hand, “Hey,” he coos, looking like his hair is flying up, “I’m serious. We can skip patrol, or I can do it on my own. I’ll cover for you, no problem.”

“Dude,” you choke, and the wetness running up your temple makes you realize you’re crying, “I wanna die.”

His face changes immediately, dropping every bit of his persona in an instant. The feathers loosen and release you, dropping you, and he catches you bridal style before you can turn on Aerial. 

“Alright, hang on.” His face is pained as he nudges your window open, carrying you in. “Hang on.”

The blood rushes back to your head, and the tears fall normally. He places you against your headboard, right next to the body pillow you always wake up next to. The sight of it makes you cry harder.

“Hey, hey.” Just like he did every time you tried to manipulate fighting tactics out of him to use against Endeavor, Hawks’ thumbs come up to brush your tears away. He sits at the edge of your bed, as though he’s visiting you in the hospital. “Hey, pretty girl, c’mon. Talk to me. Tell me everything. Let me help you.”

Your hands tangle in your own hair and your eyes shut, looking every bit the crazy lady you’ve become. “I want to fly into the sun. Please, just let me do that.”

“I can’t,” he pleads, taking his visor off and setting it aside. His jacket goes next, and he drapes it over you like the two of you aren’t indoors. And not on a date. He’s watched one too many cheesy romcoms. His favorite is John Tucker Must Die. You think that’s because he has mommy issues.

“I can’t,” he repeats, nudging himself next to you and moving your hands from your hair to your lap. His own hands go up to pat your hair down, and brush your shoulders, touch as light as a feather. 

He’s grooming you. Dumb bird. 

A painful sob escapes you, and you fall into him as he rubs your arms, your back, your hair. His bodysuit quickly becomes wet with your tears, but he doesn’t seem to mind, lips on your temple and arms tight around you. He even leans down and kisses a tear straight off your cheek.

“I’ve been living the same day again and again. I’ve lost count of the days. I killed people and I manipulated you and you keep helping me but nothing works. Everyday I have to go through this. Everyday the universe finds a way to kill me. I haven’t—” Your own wail cuts you off, and he squeezes you closer. “I haven’t seen nighttime in forever! I’ll forget what nighttime looks like soon, I’m so sick of the sun!”

He doesn’t say anything. Sometimes he believes you straight away, sometimes he doesn’t, but either way he eventually takes it in stride. He cheers you up. He takes you places or he talks and talks and talks until you’re laughing, laughing so hard you almost don’t feel the pain when you die.

His lips burn on your skin. He keeps them on your temple, warming you far more than his jacket does. 

“I hate telling you this every time,” you sniff, “I wish there was a way I could fast forward it.”

Still, he doesn’t talk. He moves instead, holding you to his heart like you’re.

Gold.

When Hawks does speak, his voice is thicker than normal, like he’s holding back something. Tears of his own, or a confession. Too many times he’s seen you vulnerable now, even if he doesn’t remember, and you don’t think you’ll ever see him in such a state. 

“If you wanna fly into the sun, I won’t stop you.”

You look at him. No hint of a lie in those golden eyes. Pulling away from the safety you’d embraced for a second, you sit back and swallow. “Yeah? No lie?”

“No lie. You’ll come back, right? The day will reset. So it’s okay.”

“Yeah.” Unless today is finally the last day. But you doubt it. You’ll know when it is. If it ever comes.

“Then you can go. Or…”

A few minutes ago, you’d have jumped out the window the second he stopped holding you back. “Or?”

“Or.” His tongue pokes into the side of his cheek. Thinking face. One of the few people who doesn’t have a dumb thinking face. This one actually looks like he’s thinking. “You let me take you somewhere.”

“Where?”

“Surprise,” he says softly, “you’ll like it. Promise.”

And you figure you can always fly into the sun tomorrow. The giant ass star isn’t going anywhere.

—————————————————

He’s had a hand over your eyes for a couple minutes now, guiding you inside…somewhere. Every few seconds he makes a shushing sound, to who you assume are bystanders wondering why the rude hero who trended number one on Twitter this morning (#FrightingaleBreakdown) is wandering around.

“Are you taking me to a strip club?” you ask suddenly. “I really don’t wanna go to a strip club right now.”

“No, but that’s a good idea. Tell me that one later. Or, tomorrow, or whatever. Whenever you want.”

Yeah. Okay.

A door closes, and that’s when he finally moves his hand. You’d assumed you would have to shield your eyes from some ceiling light. But instead, you’re met by even more darkness.

Well. Not total darkness.

There’s a hint of white. A sliver of silver. And it’s everywhere.

You honesttoGod gasp, staggering back as you witness the night sky. The stars twinkle like shiny teeth (that sparkle, adding beauty to my faaaace, my shiny teeth that glisten, just like a christmas tree, you know they’d walk a mile, just to see me smile (woo!) my shiny teeth and me). Your hands tremble as they close over your mouth, and you don’t realize that you’re tearing up until Hawks’ fingers are under your eyes again, catching the tears before they can fall.

“I know a planetarium isn’t the same as the actual night.” He glows like this, how does one do that? What’s his skincare routine? “But…it’s better than nothing, and I’ll bring you here whenever you want. You say the word to me and we’re here. Or anywhere else. If you can’t get out of the loop, then you should take advantage of it. Have fun. Do things you’ve never had time to do before. I’ll help you.”

For all this trouble, you should stare up at the faux sky, not at him.

“And um, to speed up the process.” His cheeks dust pink, and he whispers, “Keigo.”

That’s when you find your voice. “What?”

“Keigo. My name. I’ve never told anyone, so, you know. I’ll believe you faster.” His face is red now, all the way up to the tips of his prickly ears. 

“Kei-go.” You test it out on your tongue, eyes on him. “Well, what if I’m just messing with you and I’m not actually reliving today?”

He exhales in a way that tells you the thought didn’t even cross his mind. As if you’re sooo goodhearted you would never do such a thing. But you absolutely would.

“It’d be worth it.” Hawks—Keigo—shrugs. “To hear you say my name.”

Oh.

You step forward, you think, to kiss him, but before you get the chance the ground shakes, and then crumbles directly under your feet. You don’t even hear his cry of surprise. Is this an earthquake? No, quicksand? But that makes no sense—except the curse doesn’t make any sense at all, so yeah. Sure. You’ll go out like that.

You wake up with the taste of sand and good sense never to try and kiss your partner again. 

—————————————————

“You’re early!” Hawks greets you at patrol.

“Yeah, well.” You sigh, blowing into the cup of hot tea in your hand. “We don’t all take our time like you, Keigo.”

[xamaxenta]

would not put any kink past ace and sabo honestly. sabo doesnt even know until marco goes phoenix mode and lands on the battlefield perched above everything else with his big blue wings stretched out over the whitebeards and sabo suddenly is like woah i never realized he had talons before. like. big talons. Really big ones . he could probably pick sabo up off the ground like a hawk does a mouse and those talons might even kill him on impact if marco wanted them to. marco lifts his wings and takes off again and the railing hed been perched on is completely warped from the force of how he gripped it. its even red hot from the heat of his flames, and a bit of molten metal slides off onto the ground. sabo accidentally explodes a guys skull in his hand and ace catches him like ahahah this fucking loser has a bird feet fetish!!!! whaaaaat are you all worked up about marcos powerful lethal weapons? ahaha youre into his burning piercing talons? what a loser haha. you want him to crush your ribs or something? to open you and feast on your insides like prometheus? he could probably strip the flesh off our bodies with those . ha. haha. they look at each other and then at the railing and then at each other again. sabo: lets stop talking for a little while

It started off as some loving hazing between boyfriends but then Ace realises Sabos totally 101% serious, because, hes hard, and, Sabos boring holes into him like fully locked on the blind eye too and the tent in his pants lmao he wants whatever the fuck Ace is yapping on about and will he shut the fuck up asap bc hes been dying to go whack one out for the past ten mins and he will probably implode if he doesnt get to cum rn

Sabos like fuck i want him to pick me up and toss me about like a small animal i want him to break my neck and scoop out my insides

Ace: sounds like projection mate

[bidonica]

Oooh man I have quite the backlog to go through here not only because I finished the playthrough nearly a week ago at this point, but also because we're entering boss fight, epic cutscene, emotional confession, shameless blorbo thirsting at this point, and we're starting from this totally non ominous landmark at the edge of the map

(Previous adventures in pizza delivery: a Death Stranding playthrough blog)

This is the activation key for the chiral network? Surely nothing dark behind the fact it's a literal BB pod... like they would never put a real baby in here, haha so silly to even think of it

Probably my favorite Norman face in the whole game? At least top 3

Now what was the point of putting up this breathy, slutty intonation for this prelude to the boss fight. Who made that decision and what am I supposed to do with it? Be normal?

Most genuinely grotesque BT you meet

Real talk tho, a thing about Higgs is that he seems the only character who is aware he's in a videogame (save maybe for Amelie and her "Mario and Princess Beach") so he will make this sort of inside joke a lot. Since I'm actually a pretty mediocre player, he asked me "should we lower the difficulty?" embarassingly often... But it also made me think of his Fleabag wink at the camera in the DS2 trailer. We stan a genre aware loser

Speaking of DS2... I said it before and I'll say it again, the mere thought of the Sam and Lou relationship being ruined makes me SPIRAL I mean look at her!!! She's ready to throw hands for her momdad! Nobody loves Sam Porter Bridges as much as BB Lou

Feminism leaving my body,

Sam: *literally almost died, is so exhausted he can barely stand*

Die-Hardman in his airpods: come on Sam aren't you excited to go to the BEACH? Chop chop! The early bird gets the worm!

Well I made Sam take a nap in the private room because I am not a monster.

Coming soon: another Higgs boss fight!, Damn bitch you live like this??, DAD?????, My Sister Has A Lot To Say, a devastatingly emotional scene that makes me cry without fail, bonus content with Metal Gear elements that creates a few continuity problems!