#hate him for it and that they are unforgivable

[cordeliawhohung]

I’m taking advantage of this open request inbox and am requesting a Simon and chip carving pumpkins because because because because because idk

pumpkin carving | an In Limbo extra | simon riley x reader | fluff

happy fall <3

A silvery sheen glints off of blades in the amber light of the kitchen. 

Sterile. Laid flat. Spoons made for gouging litter the countertop next to toothpicks and bowls. These are tools for gutting. Tools made for hurting. Ripping out entrails and the essence of life in ivory seeds and webby viscera. 

Victims sit in perfect silence atop the counter. Cold. Unknowing. Unable to speak.

“It’s pumpkin carving, sweetheart. Not surgery.” 

“You take it… very seriously,” you humor. 

Simon’s smirk gleams brighter than the knives sitting near his fingertips. There are very few times when you’ve caught that ardent excitement brewing in the depths of his eyes, but you never expected him to be so ecstatic about carving pumpkins. 

“Course. This is a serious occasion,” he deadpans. 

“Uh huh.” 

Knuckles tap against the two pumpkins in front of you. He must have found the two largest ones at the market. Fresh and unblemished, they’re so big you swear they’ll burst. Their circumference trumps that of Simon’s own noggin. If you hollowed one out and put it on his head, he’d look like some blinded astronaut. 

“Want me to cut your top off for you?” he asks. The blades adorning the counter are long, yet Simon’s hands dwarf them as he picks one up. 

“My top, or the pumpkin’s?” you quip. 

The next time he smirks, his teeth peek between his lips. “Whichever one you want, sweetheart.” 

You roll your eyes, and it isn’t long before blades are sunk into taut orange flesh. Stems cut away, the fibrous strands are left exposed beneath the unforgiving lights above you. Tilting the pumpkin, you dip your hand into its guts. Nothing but sinew and cold goop greet you, and you try to hide your discomfort in the way it burrows beneath your nails. You toss the entrails into a bucket where they fester and sit. 

“How do you do this for fun?” you question, looking at the mess in the palm of your hands. “The texture makes my teeth hurt.” 

“Had worse on my hands before,” Simon admits. He’s using the side of a spoon to scrape and thin out the walls of his pumpkin, nearly twenty steps ahead of you.

“Dare I ask?” you mumble as you shake your hands. 

“Used to be a butcher,” he shrugs. 

“I feel like a butcher now.” 

“Least you don’t smell like one.” 

He helps thin the walls of your pumpkin when it’s sufficiently gutted. Black sleeves ripple and curl around his biceps, having rolled them up to keep them clean. Forearms exposed, you watch the muscle dance. Tendons pull taut as his arm moves repetitively back and forth. He’s so involved with the work he doesn’t catch sight of you staring. Gawking. You hate the feeling of pumpkin guts caught in your fingers, but you think you could watch him carve them all day. 

Next, he has you plan out your design by poking guide holes with toothpicks. Simon has a system. Expertly planned and thought out. He tells you how much Joseph loves carving pumpkins, and how Beth was the one who came up with the idea with the toothpicks. It’s hard to drive back to Manchester just for pumpkin carving, but now he has you now to partake in the Halloween festivities with him. 

“Careful now,” Simon warns. “Just sharpened them earlier, yeah?” 

“I know how to use knives, Si.” 

Hands up in playful defense, he lets you get to work. 

Simon is an artist, you learn. Really, it shouldn't surprise you that he takes an interest in it, saying how nearly half of his body is covered in sharp designs and ink. It’s nice watching him work. Brows furrow with focus while deft fingers transform a simple gourd into a sculpture — he looks like a work of art himself. 

Chiseled out of marble with pick and hammer, the hands that made him were clumsy, yet you’d kiss them all the same. Just the same as you’d kiss the crooked bridge of his nose and the deep settled scars and keloids that jut from his body. The soft curve of his abdomen. The rigid lines along his back. 

“Ow, fuck…”

“What’d I tell ya?” 

You’d even kiss that stupid smirk on his face. 

It vanishes the moment he sees the blood drip from the side of your finger, choosing instead to coo and corral you out of the kitchen. Arguing with him, you tell him it’s not as bad as it looks as he sits you on the sofa in the living room, but he doesn’t listen. It isn’t long before he’s knelt in front of you, wiping the blood clean and patching up your trivial wound. 

“Gotta prevent cross contamination,” he says just as the blood stops flowing. 

“Cross contamination?” you repeat. 

“Yeah, between you and the patient.” It takes everything within you not to scoff at him as he secures a band-aid around your finger. “Y’know, I always thought surgeons had steadier hands than that.” 

“Insulting my work?” 

“You might never practice medicine again.” 

This time you truly flout him with a huff. He’s finished patching you up but he stays knelt before you, pinching your finger between his own as if he can’t quite cauterize the wound. 

“Anythin’ else I can do for you, doctor?” he hums. 

Sighing, you look over your shoulder toward the kitchen. Your oversized squash sits midway through surgery with a half formed eye. “Might as well finish up my work for me. You know, since my license is about to be revoked.” 

Simon gets you to look back at him as he gently tugs on your finger. You watch as he raises your hand to his lips where they gently curl around your digit in a kiss. His eyes don’t stray from you for a moment. Unrelenting. Adoring. 

“Yes ma’am.” 

You’re left sitting there with a sliced finger that burns with the weight of a kiss as he goes to finish carving your pumpkin. It’s too late to worry about contamination; you’re already afflicted with warmth. Some raging sickness that leaves your skin on fire. Still, you thumb over the fox themed band-aid with a smile as your lips begin to tingle in jealousy. 

[bruciemilf]

Watching Isle of Dogs and God. The Jacob Kane vibes. The human need to pity a mean dog would get to me. Especially him with Kate and Bruce? I’d die.

Need a scene where Kate visits her father, — because he is her father, despite them liking to pretend otherwise, — and he does what he always does when he sees her. He drinks. A lot.

“I heard you didn’t want to take Bruce in.”

“No,” he shakes his head in confirmation. “Pennyworth and I made a deal. I get to bury your aunt wherever I want. He keeps the boy.”

“You broke promises before. Why is this different?”

He gets so quiet, for a moment, — not in his way; Her father is silent by nature.

But he’s not voiceless, not a void. Right now, he is, and she hates it.

“When you were 10, you had a nightmare. You came to my room. I just came back from a tour. It was dark, you were scared. Kids get like that.”

Not him. He was raised in it.

“I think you just wanted to hug me. Why wouldn’t you— you were my daughter. I guess… You scared me. I punched you so hard I broke your jaw.” He shakes his head. “He looks like Martha.”

And it’s not different from Bruce.

And I specifically need one of the batkids to witness it, — I don’t need them to excuse, or forgive, or rationalize. But they do need to see it. I need them to understand.

“I am not your father,” Jacob speaks so coldly Damian feels the winter breathe into his bones. His baba doesn’t shake at all,

“I am not your mother, I am not your Alfred. If you fail, I don’t care about you. I won’t wait for you.”

It’s hard, and unforgiving, and everything Batman can be.

“I bite.”

[spacebagfullofstars]

Evolution X-Men meeting Deadpool for the first time

An idea for the first episode Deadpool would appear in the show. It'd take place during early season 2. I don't have enough ideas to write the whole thing but here's the introduction

After the Brotherhood fled and the old warehouse was empty once more, the X-Men could finally focus on their unexpected guest. Through the darkness where he stood, they could see him sheathing his katanas and stretching his arms.

"Phiii-ew! Nothing like a good workout after a mind-numbingly boring sail home!" He said, rolling his neck and shoulders. "Warms my cold, unfeeling heart to see the streets just as crime-infested as I left them!"

After a second, the man stepped towards them and into the light. The younger members of the X-Men couldn't help, but gasp when he revealed himself to them.

The person who joined their fight was wearing a red and black costume that covered his whole body, including his face. Outside of the twin katanas on his back, he had two gun pouches attached to the sides of a multi-pocketed belt. His white eyes stared at them with unclear intent.

"You?!" While Kitty, Rogue and Kurt were intimidated by his presence, Scott and Jean stood their ground. They appeared to be more disgusted than afraid. Surprisingly, the man seemed to recognise them as well.

"Jeanie! Scottie! Long time no see! Come here and give uncle Deadpool a hug!" He said, spreading his arms. Before he ran at them, Jean used her powers to throw him into the air. His enthusiasm faltered.

"Cold. I guess you don't want all the radical gifts I bough you abroad!" He said, starting to levitate upside down. "Do kids these days still say it? Do they say 'radical'? I hate that word. I hope it'll die out quickly."

"You know this weirdo?" Kitty whispered to them.

"He calls himself Deadpool." Jean stated. "He used to break into the Institute regularly."

"That's all you have to say about little ol' me?" Deadpool interrupted, then traced a line from his eye down his cheek. "You can't see it, but I just shed a sad tear. I thought we were friends."

"We're not-"

"As (I'm pretty sure) my pop used to say, if you want something done right, do it yourself!" The mercenary clapped his hands, interrupting her again. He kicked his legs and pushed himself back up so he could face them properly.

"I go by many names! Deadpool is one, but some prefer to call me the Merc with the Mouth!" He stated, pointing his thumbs at himself. "The world-famous mercenary willing to do any kind of job for a good pay, weapon expert, master of all known fighting styles and three times Champion of Hot Dog Eating in West Virginia! This city used to belong to me, but the merc job is unforgiving and I had to leave it for like twenty years!"

"We haven't seen you in two years." Scott corrected.

"It felt like twenty to me, so it must've been! Now I come back and see that you X-Dorks grew in numbers!" Deadpool continued, then crossed his arms and looked away. "Not that I'm bitter, or anything. I can do so much better than your little rich kid houseclub anyway."

"... Wait, he was an X-Man?!" Rouge asked, baffled.

"Professor tried giving him a chance once." Jean sighed. "He almost blew up the mansion."

"Like that old thing doesn't blow up every other week, am I right, guys?" Deadpool snorted and rose his hand. Outside of the distance between them, no one was willing to give him a high five. He waited a few more seconds and then high fived himself.

"Is it bad that he kinda reminds me of Kurt when he has too much sugar?" Kitty snickered.

"Don't even joke like that!" Kurt didn't like that.

"The only difference is that Kurt isn't..." Scott began, then whistled and swirled his finger around the side of his head.

"I believe the term you're looking for is 'able to think outside the box', three eyes." Deadpool overheard them and air quoted. Without any warning, he disappeared in a small flash of energy.

"What the-?!" Kurt cried out as they all stepped back in surprise. After a second, the mercenary reappeared behind them.

"And who those adorable new faces might be?" His voice startled them all. "No, no, don't tell me! You look like Jessica," He said, pointing at surprised Kitty. "Your super power is shrinking. You look like Bridget and you love being different!" He pointed at Rogue, making her scoff at him. "And you look like Elvis! You have an eternal bad hair day!" He said, pointing at Kurt.

"What?" The blue boy squinted.

"Deadpool, stay away from them!" Scott warned, flashing his visor in readiness. "Whatever you came here for, you're not getting it from us!"

"Look at you all grown up and shouting orders like a boss man! Relax, kid, I have no quarrel with you today. I just wanted to catch up and meet new people! Speaking of..." Deadpool said, then reloaded his gun that he suddenly grabbed. Something darkened in his eyes. "Where's Wolverine?"

The other X-Men could see Jean and Scott getting tense. It seemed that despite their distate, they were scared of the man after all.

Suddenly, Deadpool seemed to hear something and his head perked up a bit. They could almost see a smirk forming on his face.

"Right on the clock." He mused. He spun his gun in his hand, then without any warning, whipped back and fired a single shot.

Wolverine had entered the warehouse and managed to sneak behind them. He quickly released his claws and slashed the bullet mid-air. Before other X-Men could stop him, Deadpool switched, pulled out his katanas and teleported again. He reappeared right in front of Logan and took a swing at him. His weapons and the mutant's claws clashed.

"Kurt, get everyone outta here!" The X-Man shouted. The boy nodded. The kids came closer and he teleported them away, leaving the two alone.

"I had a feelin' I smelled a rottin' brain somewhere!" Wolverine growled.

"You're the one to talk, dog-breath!" Deadpool retorted, trying to slash him again. Wolverine blocked him. "Dog, or bear, or some other animal that smells bad! I don't want to say badger, because I feel like I'd be beating a dead horse at this point-"

"I miss the silence already!" Logan said. He roared and tried to throw a punch.

Meanwhile, the group reappeared outside.

"What does this Deadpool guy want with Logan?!" Rouge couldn't help, but grow concerned.

"They have... history." Scott explained. "I'm pretty sure they hate each other."

"Like he and Sabertooth?" Kitty asked.

"Honestly? We have no idea." Jean admitted. "It's best to just stay out of the way and let Logan handle it. He always does."

As soon as she said that, they heard an explosion that made them jump. Suddenly, Wolverine fell out of a window with a trail of smoke following him. Deadpool jumped after him and skilfully landed on the ground. When he stood up, the kids saw that he was holding a bomb with his face painted on it.

"He has explosives?!" Kurt shouted, tugging his hair. Logan returned on his feet, smoke from the explosion still dancing on his body.

"I thought you were done takin' bounties on me!" He shouted.

"I am, but it's an emergency!" Deadpool said, throwing the bomb from hand to hand. "I need this money more than I need food and water!"

"A sellout through and through!" Wolverine said, then charged back. Deadpool let him get close, teleported, and then tried to throw a bomb at him from the distance. Logan kicked it right into the ocean and it exploded in the water.

The mercenary quickly switched back to his katanas and charged with full force at his opponent. There was a lot of slashing, dodging and rolling involved. Neither of them managed to reach each other for a good while. Finally, Wolverine used an opportunity to pin Deadpool to the ground with one arm behind his back.

"Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!" He cried. "That's foul play! You're disqualified for being a bad sport!"

"Cry me a river, Wilson." Logan tsked. "Whoever hired you must've not known that you always lose to me."

"Yeah. That might be true." The mercenary said, another almost visible smirk appearing on his face. Little did Wolverine know, his free arm was trying to reach for a hidden pocket in his costume. "By the way, don't think that I forgot to bring a souvenir or two for my bestest friend. Why don't you let me go so I can show it to you?"

"I ain't lettin' you go that easily, bub. You're gonna tell me exactly who sent you and what kinda money made you break your promise."

"Oh, I love to talk! Especially with you!" He quietly unzipped the pocket and reached inside. "But you know I can't talk about my employers. Merc 101. Buuuut, I can tell you all about the crazy places I've been to for the past two years! I learned like three different languages! Do you want me to say something in Chinese?"

"If you're tryin' to make me angry, it ain't gonna work. We've been doin' this song and dance long enough for me to know when you're lookin' for a distraction."

"Awww, you care about me enough to know my strategy! You so deserve that little treat I bought you!"

"Logan, look out!" Rouge shouted, but she was too late. Logan felt a sharp sting in his leg. He gasped and quickly pushed himself off Deadpool. He looked down and saw a dart sticking from his thigh. The X-Men were ready to intervene.

"Do not get involved!" Logan snarled, sensing their intent. His head was already beginning to spin.

"Yeah, you better listen to Papa Wolvie! This is between us adults!" Deadpool shouted, looking at them as well. The mutant suddenly fell to his knees, trying to fight whatever Deadpool injected into him, but it seemed stronger than his healing factor. His eyes started feeling heavy, and finally, he fell lifelessly on the ground.

"Logan!" The kids yelled. Jean was already floating whatever she could to throw at Deadpool.

"Don't worry, X-Kids! I promise to give him back as soon as I get my money! Follow your dreams and stay in school!" Deadpool gave them a peace sign before he kneeled in front of Wolverine and teleported away with him.

[xoblondie]

Dark!Mattheo Riddle Headcannons 💋

TW: 18+, stalker, Kidnapping and non-con content

Dark Mattheo who…

Switches up so quickly. One moment he's the soft and loving boy you fell for in hogwarts. The next he's tossing you aside like your a cigarette bud, and stomping you out.

"You're so gorgeous my love." In soft, playful whispers when you wake up in his arms.

To "Get out of my sight you disgusting bitch." Over the tiniest of mistakes.

If you ever try to leave him, he'll make sure you can't ever leave him. Locking you up in his manor, wandless and afraid. And if you ever escaped...

He would have Theo, and his friends on your tail within minutes. His death eaters would have no shame tearing you away from muggle establishments and would dispose of whatever and whoever got in their way. All adorned in those lifeless silver masks, that often haunt your dreams at night. A power move on Mattheo’s part to spread more fear into you.

Or he would catch up to you with ease, taking matters into his own hands when you’ve especially pissed him off. Pinned to the forest floor, with his dirty death eater boot on your throat, threatening your ability to breathe. The old blood caked on them displayed like a portrait of sins, to your struggling eyes.

Yet he’d spoil you any chance he got, with jewelry, new dresses and lacey garments. All to doll you up and show you off to his friends and lower-class men. After all you are his most prized possession and such beauty must be shared with the world.

Dark Mattheo that would stalk your every move, watching you when your out with your friends, not letting you get any “ideas” of leaving him from them. Or letting you talk with any guys that weren’t his group of friends.

Dark Mattheo that would hold a blade to your throat, ignoring your tears and pleas, if you ever disobeyed him. Threatening to harm you if you didn't listen to him and comply with us demands. Who would carve his name into your soft skin, so that no one but him would ever be able to claim you. You were his.

(Omg the power difference!!)

You were never a star pupil at hogwarts, and you had always struggled with wandless magic making it easy for Mattheo to leave you powerless. So Mattheo often wouldn't let you carry your wand with you while in the manor.

"You're much too clumsy my dear, nothing in here would require you to use magic when the house elves can do it for you. I'll keep it safe for you though." When in reality he didn't want you to be able to escape his grasp. Or potentially overpower him.

Dark!Mattheo who makes you sit in on all his meetings, presenting you as a trophy of his. Watching as death eaters eye you up and boats about his prize to them. If anyone spills information you were never supposed to hear, he wouldn’t hesitate to obliviate you. Who cares if it left your brain fuzzy, you were to pretty to use it anyways!

There would be Wards and Spells on the manor that shift your perspective on its layout. Never letting you plan a way out or be able to leave the grounds without Mattheo going with you. The forest around would be worse, a labyrinth designed to trap you if you were to ever escape.

And though he was possessive and manipulative, he was still the same boy he was at hogwarts. Just hidden under the weight of his father’s legacy.

He was often still intimate however, letting you cuddle with him, shower together and share passionate moments. He would take you on romantic dates and treat you like a princess when he knew he had gone too far. (Rather than apologize…)

Sex is either the most passionate and loving experience, or purely hateful. On his good nights, he treats you like you were carved by the gods and put on this earth by them specifically for him. He’d focus solely on you and your needs, worshipping you for hours and just watching you cum over and over again.

“Fuck baby, you’re doing so good for me”

“that’s it baby, just a bit more”

But on his bad nights, he's rough and unforgiving, not caring for your needs or even if you wanted this in the first place. He would tie you down just so you’d stop pushing him away and lick your tears from your face as he forced himself into you.

“You wanna act like a slut then I’ll fucking treat you like a slut.”

“You wanna show off in front of my death eaters, but can’t handle being used by one?”

But in the end, you can’t help but to love his boyish grin or the way his eyes soften as he looks at you. Or the whispered promises of how he’ll marry you one day and leave all of this death eater stuff behind.

A/N: omg enjoy y’all <3 I’m editing this myself so ignore any typos or grammar issues! Also I’m super rusty so send me writing ideas (plz and Ty, I will love you forever)

[reallyreal-madeingold]

LET 👏 MY 👏 MAN 👏 COMMIT👏 ATROCITIES👏

[animentality]

I forced my friend who hates epic fantasy to watch Lord of the Rings with me, and I mean that legitimately, like she literally said I'm not watching that, and I said while you're in my goddamn house, you're watching it. There's no negotiation.

Anyway, she spent the first half of the Two Towers bitching and complaining and saying everyone was boring and no one was pretty - she also called Aragorn mid, which honestly, to be honest, to be truthful, if I killed her, I'm pretty sure a judge and a jury would side with me for that one.

But I digress.

She spent the first half of the movie saying the movie sucked- and then she shut her goddamn mouth for the second half.

Because even the biggest epic fantasy haters in the world shut their whining mouths when they see the battle of helm's deep.

There is literally TOO MUCH cool shit happening for even the most normie of normies to hate on it.

Seriously. Elves showing up when the humans need them most, elven archers with the amazing long range volleys, orcs with ladders, orcs with HOOKS, bombing the wall down, Legolas riding down a shield as he shoots arrows, Aragorn throwing Gimli's ass at the bridge...

Gandalf arriving on his white horse with the Rohirrim to save the damn day...and yes, elsewhere, the Ents being awesome and fucking shit up...

Doesn't matter if you're a hater of all things epic fantasy.

This shit too fire for even you to resist the burn.

[casualavocados]

Don't you push me. You said you would always look at me. ...You asked for it yourself.

KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Ep. 09

[deathandnonexistentialdread]

He has a point.

[clanborn]

my worst wc opinion is that i actually like rootspring you are welcome to make fun of me for this

[presdestigatto]

if i were charles and i saw all those delusional comments on my instagram i would simply never say a kind word about my teammate ever again

[sparrowstarsandsorrow]

You ain't no firing squad, you piece of shit!

[ssaraexposs]

Bungo Stray Dogs // SHIN SOUKOKU // Episode 23 (pt.1)

[detectiveaku]

literally will never get over “you’re scum. Look at me, stop looking away from me. Stop being terrified of me” to “someone who looks at him not as evil or insane or a freak but rather unpredictable. Human”

[cult-of-dollbabies]

I do not understand the hype around that deadpool & wolverine movie. Love the characters, but come on.. movie was not that great. Let's be real

[dukeofthomas]

Something I really especially love about btas is that every character is just… a human. Batman doesn't just show up and incapacitate 30 people no issue, he has to fight and brawl with just 1 or 2 henchmen. He can be taken out by hits and poisons and such. The rogues have to surrender when the cops get guns to their faces, and can be overpowered even by normal people. Joker isn't some pure evil incarnation of the Devil or whatever, he's just… a really bad man. Same for every other villain and character. And Bruce actually gets to show personality and emotion beyond Brooking and Grunting. He makes jokes and laughs and gets sad.

I'm really getting to understand why people call this the best Batman adaptation.

[knucklesex]

what does "jiang cheng is a tsundere!" even mean?

Tsundere (ツンデレ, pronounced [t͡sɯndeɾe]) is a Japanese term for a character development process that depicts a character with an initially harsh personality who gradually reveals a warmer, friendlier side over time.

[quoted directly from Wikipedia]

when does this "warm, friendlier" side of jiang cheng emerge? he literally participated in a massacre (you know, the victims of whom were innocent farmers, even a granny and could have even been a child). he was instrumental in his martial brother's death, knowing full well his sister sacrificed herself to save him. he literally physically and verbally abuses his nephew. he captures and kills anyone who resembles WWX slightly for years after his death--- you know, even if he just hates WWX for some miraculous justification, he is killing innocent people. he even blames and mocks WWX for giving him his golden core.

what "warmer, friendlier" side, dude?