#have the final say yes i understand i ultimately choose what i wanna do

[dizzyjaden]

hihihi soooo. I want this to involve Kaeya, Xiao, and Dottore (heheh) if that’s okay. Pick whoever u want if only one ! But anyways

What if you’re a member of the armed forces (a knight of Favonius, a member of the millelith, and a fatui agent respectively). And you get injured on the job. Like, injured enough to warrant a hospital stay. Pretty *badly* hurt. What are those three doing, yknow? How do they react? Are they helping? How so? That type of stuff

✦ GENSHIN MEN WHEN YOU GET HURT ✦

Thank you for asking, let's find out.

Pairings: Kaeya, Xiao, Dottore x gn! Reader

♤ Summary: You got hurt and need medical assistance.

♤ Warnings: Severe injury (abdominal stab wound, broken arm, various bruises and cuts), slight yummy angst, soft Dottore

♤ A/N: I know this isn't exactly a request but I'm treating it like a request because I wanna get stuff posted. I'm also really not the best at Kaeya, so forgive me in advance if he's fugly. Enjoy!

Kaeya:

As a knight, you know that when an issue arises in Mondstadt, you’re going to stand on the frontlines for your city. It’s what is expected of you, and what you have accepted for yourself. You don’t mind it, your city is important to you. Your job is important to you. It’s actually how you met your boyfriend, Kaeya, who is also very important to you. Perhaps that’s why when the two of you were out fighting off abyss mages to protect a group of civilians, you threw yourself right in front of him as a shard of ice, summoned by a cryo abyss mage, was sent flying straight towards his chest. Instead of his chest, it impaled you in your stomach, right beneath your ribcage.

It takes him a moment to process what just happened, in an instant everything pauses and he’s focused entirely on you. Needless to say, when he sees you fall to your knees, holding your stomach in agony, he practically rips the remaining mages apart and hurries to tend to you.

Thankfully the wound is not horrifically deep, the distance between you and the mage prevented it from flying fast enough, but you are still bleeding from your stomach, which is rather alarming. He hides his panic though, not wanting to upset you further when you’re already injured. He ties his belt tightly around the wound and picks you up, you’ve never been stabbed before so obviously you’re quite concerned with your injury, because of this he chooses to gaslight you while he rushes to get you back to the city. “It’s fine, I’ve seen way worse! You worry too much.” 

Kaeya wants to remain by your side when he does finally get you to a doctor, he is quite irritable when he can’t go back with you but ultimately waits, impatiently so. When you’re all patched up he rushes into the room and gives you a tight, slightly painful hug. When you remind him that you’re freshly injured his face falls and a hurried apology leaves his lips.

The two of you spend the rest of the day laughing and teasing each other about the unfortunate incident, Kaeya is glad it’s already something you can laugh about, but he truthfully feels guilty he let that happen to you when it was such an easy fight. He’ll get you whatever you need until you’re fully recovered.

Xiao:

Honestly, Xiao would just prefer if you called his name before you fought anything. Yes, he knows you’re trained. Yes, he knows you’re strong. But he’s an adeptus and he’s willing to protect you. Why won’t you just utilize that and not put yourself at risk? He doesn’t understand. But he doesn’t ask any questions when he’s called by you in your time of need. He teleports straight to your location, where he finds you gravely injured with multiple gashes and bruises on your body, and a small crowd of ruin guards encircling your fallen figure. He quickly stands in front of you, calculates how much time he has based on the severity of your injuries, and then tears them all to shreds. 

As he fights he counts each second that passes, thinking about your blood loss. He manages to defeat them in thirty-one seconds, but he was planning on thirty. He teleports back to you, picks you up, and then teleports you to the nearest hospital. You’re too weak at this point to really register anything so he hands you over to the doctors wordlessly and then leaves you there.

When you’re fixed up and a bit more conscious, you quickly call his name and he meekly appears with a bouquet of flowers he’d gathered while you were getting treated. “For the single second that I let you bleed.” He explains his intention behind the small gift. He’s convinced you’ve probably been irritated at him since you got to the hospital, but you are entirely unsure of what he means. Xiao is such a perfectionist when it comes to keeping you safe, but you’re just grateful he came at all. When you take his gift, you express this and he isn’t sure what to make of it, but he doesn’t wish to make it a bigger deal than he already has so he simply nods and then lectures you for nearly an hour about not calling sooner.

Dottore:

When Dottore hears from an associate that you’ve been injured while out on a mission, he is right on it. He doesn’t ask any questions about your condition, he can figure that out when he finds you. And when he does, he is livid. Whatever opponent you faced completely broke your arm! It doesn’t matter if you were already about to receive treatment, he trusts nobody but himself to help you. As a harbinger, what he says goes so he’s going to take care of it. 

While he’s fixing your arm he’s asking you questions about who did this to you. He’s disappointed to hear you already managed to defeat them. He was hoping to have the opportunity to make their death so much longer than the merciful quick bullet you gave them. But, at least they aren’t alive anymore.

Once that’s out of the way, he gives you gentle kisses and hushed words of comfort to take care of you. Really, it’s not that big of a deal to a fatui soldier like yourself and you find his reaction dramatic, but he likes taking care of you and he just has to smother you right now so, tough luck I guess.

He makes sure you take it easy for a while, not allowing you to do anything strenuous. If you happen to argue with him about it, he’ll simply order you to stay home and rest. He’s a harbinger, remember?

[daydreamingoncloud9]

The fact that the "Yoo Joonghyuk from the 0th turn was willing to go through 1864 regressions solely to see Kim Dokja again" notion is so popular kinda irks me because of how it 1) strips YJH of any nuance in his character by reducing him to a pining lovesick man 2) kinda disregards an arguably more heartfelt reading of the scene

To clarify, I'm not gonna argue that YJH did not consider KDJ in his decision to regress, he evidently did, but it drives me nuts when people act like that's the only reason why YJH regressed.

Now granted, YJH did kinda start this whole conversation with "If I choose you as my Constellation sponsor, will I finally get to meet you?" and so I understand when people think that meeting KDJ face-to-face is the reason why YJH chose to regress despite the slim chances but I also want people to consider one of YJH's enduring characteristics.

YJH has always been portrayed as wanting to know the truth of the world he lived in and wanting to understand his origins. He seeks to reach the conclusion because he wants answers for his suffering and the hardships he went through. Hell, one of the things he says to KDJ during this scene was "Who am I?" and then he goes on to ask whether "the secret of this world lies beyond the wall, where you are?"

YJH of the 0th turn has reached a point in his life where he is happy but he says that it's because of that that he's "even more curious about what lies beyond the wall". He wishes to take the time to understand himself after achieving such happiness and this really feels like an example of someone seeking self-actualisation.

And this also ties into my second point because understanding YJH's (imo) primary motivation ultimately frames this scene as one where two individuals who deeply love each other have to separate because one of them has decided to dedicate their life to a certain goal while the other (reluctantly) accepts their decision because they understand that it would make their loved one fulfilled.

It's a different flavour of bittersweet from the popular reading because what separates them is ultimately YJH's desire to reach self-fulfillment and KDJ accepting his desire even if it he thinks YJH is a "dumb bastard" for doing so.

After spending so much time with YJH, both as a character and as a companion, KDJ understands better than anyone that this is what YJH needs to do. And so he lets him go.

Even if it hurts. Even if he knows that YJH would eventually resent him for it. Even if he thinks regressing will just make him miserable. He lets go because he knows that this is who YJH is and he would be remiss if he let his own personal feelings get in the way of respecting his agency.

And yes, this sucker punching line right here "Tell me, you fool. If I continue to regress, will I ever get to meet you again?" does imply that half of his reason to regress is to meet KDJ irl but! I also wanna point out that KDJ never really confirmed to YJH that he could meet him again. And taking that into consideration alongside YJH's final words to KDJ, "I shall pray that you may continue to exist somewhere too" and that he still didn't stop to second-guess his regression, you're kinda left with the impression that YJH would have still gone on this journey even with the possibility that KDJ may never show up again in the future. He regresses with the small hope that they will meet each other again but he doesn't move forward solely because of that small hope.

I like to think that it's because in the 0th turn, YJH already considers them to be companions and even if he doesn't meet KDJ again, that doesn't mean their bond didn't exist.

Because, as he said about his other companions, "Just because I will forget about them, doesn't mean they'll suddenly stop existing".

Much like how the Demon King of Salvation won't stop existing even if he forgets him.

But like, regardless of whether my interpretation is right or not, I just think that YJH going forward for his own truth rather than just a desire to see KDJ again makes for a sweeter narrative after the bittersweet ending of the 0th turn.

Because as luck would have it, KDJ would once again guide YJH towards the end on his 1864th turn in the future/past, just like how he did during the 0th turn.

Regardless of YJH's personal motivations and KDJ's personal hangups, the two are irrevocably linked and that small hope from seemingly aeons ago finally became reality after countless lives.

Maybe this is why they are called "Life and Death Companions".

[aces-and-angels]

i understand this would take a lot of time so this is not a request and rather just a query, but would you consider doing character analysis for the relationships but with all 3 routes (blood/merge/shadow) ? 🙂

Thanks for the message anon! To answer your question: I have and haven't done what you're asking lmaoo- lemmie explain (adding a read more bc tis long and I am incapable of simple saying yes or no, I gotta get into it lol)

---

My methodology when developing my 'final thoughts' posts is fairly simple:

Use my main route save as a reference

Use Rowan's greatest desire seen in the Power realm to determine their ending (blood/mixed/shadow)

See where that takes me lol

I have the ability to see how each route (blood/mixed/shadow) can end with each of the characters. In fact, I have played through each of them with Abel, Amalia, and Matthias. Looking at the other variants was mainly a tool for me to help strengthen my talking points for my canon endings (and to see what could happen, obviously lol) For example: I used MC losing all their nerve if they chose to merge with their Power-half to add to my discussion on why they ultimately become human in Amalia's route.

For Matthias- I responded to a very sweet message (which may or may not be you as well 👀) which you can read here; it goes into Ro's shadow ending with him if they split the Power between themselves aka the 'Power Couple' ending. Highly encourage peeps to stick around till the end of that post bc there's a bonus question that I'd like answered ♥

Since I have seen every variation for his end routes I'll fulfill your request for Matty right here, right now ☺

As for a mixed!route with him- to the best of my knowledge- there isn't a way for your MC to stay with Matthias without merging with the Power. If there is, it really puts a damper on my whole Matthias is only loyal to the Power rhetoric I've been harping on about lol. I think my statement here pretty much covers my thoughts across the endings he can have w/ Ro: humanity and Matthias do not mix. Period. If MC is rocking with Matthias in any way, it points to a very deep character flaw (or slay if you wanna think of it that way lol). They mirror Matthias' insecurities, ambitions, and drive. They both believe that as they are before the conclusion of the series, they are not enough. Utterly desperate and ruthless in their quest to make their desires a reality.

Ro's choice to side w/ Matthias and then betray him as well is a very good twist on a similar thought I had with Abel x MC mixed ending. With the end of their route, I see Abel and MC as a couple proving their words ("But if we truly love each other, we won’t hold each other back.”) with the progression of their relationship post-finale. Whatever transpires between them, it happens with the intent of seeing each other achieve their greatest potential. The double-cross ending is the ultimate I am choosing ME story. Ro chooses themselves over Matthias. Over their 'true purpose' made by Loha. Over the bonds they may have formed between the members of the ILW crew. All of that is cast aside in favor of possessing an unimaginable amount of power. To someone who believes they've never been granted the opportunity to forge their own path, receiving this level of autonomy is gratifying. Absolutely nothing holds Ro back from getting what they want. And nothing ever will again.

---

Luckily for me, I was able to unlock all three endings (blood/shadow/mixed) amongst all the LIs with my main saves.

Abel: mixed

Amalia, Lincoln, Matthias: blood

Jocelyn: shadow

The plan I have right now is to write out my full thoughts on Jocelyn's route first because I have yet to analyze a shadow ending that doesn't end with Rowan and Matty burning the world to the ground lol.

My approach with Lincoln will be slightly different.

By the time I get to writing his post, I will have shared thoughts on all of the possible endings at least once. My main save with Linc allows Ro to successfully achieve each end without losing too much nerve that they need to be revived/killed. Because of this, I decided that I will choose the ending, and not solely base my choice on what is seen in the Power dimension.

---

So after a very lengthy how-to, where does that leave this anon's query? I think I will have a better understanding on what I want to say about each of the routes (blood/mixed/shadow) in regards to each character when I've completed going through all my save files. For now, here are my initial thoughts on alt. routes for the LIs. I will make additional posts if I come up with anything substantial worth mentioning in regards to a specific LI ♥

A mixed ending with Joss as an LI has the highest probability of lasting out of the mixed endings with the other LIs. Disclaimer: I have yet to see Jocelyn's route, but I do know that she is the only one who chooses to stay and help hunt horrors. The others express their desire to leave those days in the past.

The shadow route just hurts- I can understand why it's difficult for players to want to end their journey like that and why it's slipping in the polls LMAO fr tho yall need to give shadow route more dang love its achingly wonderful

But seriously, it's altruism to the extreme. This is a stark contrast to Rowan's reasoning to claim the Power as their sole form in Matthias' route; Them severing all ties to their humanity for the sake of saving the rest of the world is the ultimate sacrifice. What's even more heartbreaking is that the majority of the world will never know of it.

The ones that do (the LIs) hold the heavy burden of trying to honor that sacrifice by enjoying the healed world around them while simultaneously grieving the loss of what they considered to be their world: Rowan. It's a love story that transcends realms- expressed not with soft caresses- but in the soft breeze in the air, the gentle warmth from the sun that hits their skin, the stars that shine brightly in the sky. A physical representation of the peace that was restored by paying the ultimate price.

Blood route: As of 3-9-23, this route is leading the polls as players chosen ending. I've said before that I connect most with a mixed ending. So it is a bit more difficult for me to frame Ro as solely human by the end of the series. If I'm strictly just answering the question of 'will they last?' the Blood route offers the highest potential of achieving a long lasting, established relationship for Ro x their LI simply because the majority of the LIs are ready to move on from their involvement with the Power. Makes sense. They are, in fact, human lmaoo. The drawback with this route is Rowan's guilt for leaving the Power behind. A somewhat selfish, albeit less extreme version of the double-crossing option, choice to put themselves over others in order to achieve their version of happiness.

Overall, each of the LIs will help Ro through this grief. Their approach may differ slightly, but the goal is the same. My main talking point that I think is worth mentioning is how Ro's guilt will manifest post-finale/the consequences of that.

The end scene right before credits roll is Rowan suffering from another nightmare- an indicator of their survivor's guilt. Their ability to move past that guilt is determinant on a player's interpretation

My take: To be connected to the Power for that long, to have it be an integral part of your identity- I cannot see Rowan not getting back into the fold in all things Power-related. Maybe it's my personal bias of wanting a mixed route, but I truly feel that Ro pushing themselves towards 'normalcy' by going full domestic isn't the answer to them overcoming their guilt (except maybe in Amalia's story, since I played the ultimate bff to lovers story) This might not be the case with other MCs. If you played as someone who yearned for that lifestyle, I think your MC will have an easier time coming to terms with their life as a human. How I view MC in the majority of my routes however, makes me think otherwise.

I'll refer to this line from Devon to Rowan to frame my stance:

Devon: Think we can count on you to help us out with that? Rowan: Me? But I'm just a full human now. Devon: So? Most people are just regular humans. I might not be anymore, I guess, but all of our other friends are. Rowan: I... I'll think about it.

This moment alone gives enough opportunity to speculate the POSSIBILITY of Rowan turning back to the life of the Power. To what degree? I can't say, but I play Rowan as someone who has deep ties to their connection to the Power, even if by the end of the Blood route, they have no physical ties to it.

Whew. That was a lot. If you made it this far- CONGRATS! Here's another secret poll so I can see how many people made it to the end 😊

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: March 30th, 2021- Part 1

We’ve been really focused on getting the Step 3 DLC done and keeping up with asks kind of got away from me, aha. Thank you for waiting for a reply! We’re still definitely behind, but here’s a good chunk of responses!

I love Our Life so much but if the release of the step 3 dlc is in April, please don't "release" it on April 1, my poor heart can't take that prank 😭

Don’t worry! I’m horrible at pranks, haha. When we do post something specifically for April Fool’s it’s always to pretend it’s a joke when in reality it’s something we’re actually planning to do. But we don’t have anything like that arranged for this year. Any posts on April 1st will just be like normal.

Omigod, can you end the game in love with Cove but not in a relationship? My character stayed calm at the restaurant and Cove slept over at her home and I think I may have missed it. I'm delirious if I did, may never stop laughing. The children are idiots 

Haha, yes, it is possible to be in love and still not get into an actual relationship. There’s no forced ending where the two are made to confess their feelings and accept, it’s all optional/avoidable.

How can you see the new main character cut-in images? I'm not trying to be rude, but, all of my playthroughs, but I haven't seen them yet. (I know you can go through an entire game without seeing them, but I have went through multiple games.) 

It’s a bit of a spoiler to say here, but you can check out the guide we posted on Steam HERE!

Is it possible to win first place in the library quiz with Lizzy (Step 1 DLC) 

Yep, it is! Someone made a guide for the answers HERE (it’s also on Steam). We probably shouldn’t have required a perfect score to win a children quiz, but oh well, haha.

Hello!

In the future (in step 4) can you marry Cove even if you are friends? I would love to have a platonic wedding with him!

I’m afraid not. As much as he cares for the MC when they’re besties, Cove would only really want an official marriage if it’s based on romance.

Hello! I bumped into Our Life randomly last month, and it is one of the best coincidences I have ever laid on. I love how the choices and little details in the story changes throughout the game, and I'm excited to keep supporting you! I'm absolutely in love with Cove and would like to ask what keeps him to be especially interested in the MC? Other than how you can choose what fondness level you have with him, what ultimately leads him to be in sync with us? Sorry if it's a little much & thank u! 

Cove likes the MC because, regardless of the different personality traits you can give the MC, they meet him on his level, listen to him, understand him (even if you’re indifferent and not really close the MC still gets where he’s coming from), and if you’re fond/crush/love than you’re there for him. He finds the MC someone he can respect, trust, and, if they’re close, feel safe with. I’m glad you enjoyed the game!

hi there! for xoxo droplets i see the that female pronouns are used in the description, in the actual game can you change the pronouns or are they stuck as female? i'm aware the game is free, but i have a bad habit of buying dlc's before playing the game so it would be helpful to know before i spend money on it. if anything i'll save that money for more our life dlcs when they come out :D

XOXO Droplets does have a set MC. It’s the story of a specific person rather than a game about making your own story. All of our games prior to Our Life were about exploring MCs that were fully fleshed out people in their own right, so you can’t get the OL experience from what we did before. But we do plan to do more custom-style MCs going forward from here!

For the our life nsfw dlc, will you have to be in the patron to have it or  will there be another way for people who really support the game but can't pay to get it? 

I’m afraid not. We might put it up for sale somewhere other than Patreon someday (though never on Steam or Itch) since we know not everyone can use that site, but it will still cost money on any other hosting page we use. It’s unfortunately not a piece of content we can give away for free.

Hello! I finally got to play Xoxo Blood Droplets and it mentioned about a DLC coming out soon. Is it already out or are you still planning it?

We are still planning to finish it when we can, we just had to put it on hold because 2020 was a tough year and we needed to put all our focus on Our Life. There’s some of the extra DLC stories available for beta testing on the Patreon.

Is there a link to the soundtrack for Xoxo Blood Droplets? I really like the music in this game! 

That’s not available yet, but we’ll probably put it up for sale once the rest of the stories are done.

Would there be any chance for XOXO Droplets OSTs to be released in the future? (Please take my money-) 

We might! There are some things we wanna do and fix before we really start advertising XOXO Droplets things again, but hopefully it all comes together.

Why does Cove dislike Shiloh so much despite all of Shiloh's efforts to get along? I can understand his dislike for Lizzie, but why Shiloh? 

They met under bad terms (with an arranged play date he had no choice in), Shiloh’s sort of pushy himself when it comes to trying to get along, and Cove thinks he’s just kind of unusual in how he interacts/reacts with people. They don’t click, basically.

Is there a way to have your character be a tsundere? And have Cove toughened up a bit due to that? Sorry if the is a stupid question! ^^;

Maybe? The options in the game aren’t based on those types of personality tropes and I don’t know them well enough to say if you can accurately find a way to make it work with the available options. But it’s not a stupid question, I’m sure plenty of other people have considered something similar c:

do voiced names work only with their exact spelling? cause my mc is called Sophia and one of the voiced names is Soffia so i was wondering but if only works like that it's fine (sorry if i made any mistakes, english isn't my first language) 

“Voice” and “text” are separate! You can pick the “voice” you want and then type in whatever “text” you prefer. And your English is really good.

Will OL:NF be based on a season/break like the first game? Or some other type of setting? 

Our Life: Now & Forever takes place over the full course of Autumn. So, the start of school and then into the fall holiday season type of time period.

Will we ever see a jealous cove😭😭 please im begging u- 

Only in small ways, really. Sadly, I’m just not someone who enjoys jealousy in stories and therefore I don’t know how to implement it in a way that feels enjoyable. Maybe I’ll figure out a angle I can work with in future projects.

Do you have any plans with Our Life once step 4 has been released along with step 3's DLCs? 

After the Step 3 DLCs and Step 4 we’ll be releasing the Cove wedding DLC, the Derek romance DLC, and then the Baxter romance DLC. The project will likely be considered fully complete at that point.

Hello, I just needed to first of all sat how amazed I was when I discovered this game. I thought I would be disappointed by the lack of love interests, but you worked so hard to make sure Cove is the Best Boy for so many different people!! It really has been my comfort game for a while now, and I think all the different choices you allow make it the best romance game I’ve played in my life. The only problem is now my expectations for love are Cove level, and no one can live up to that. You’ve put so much consideration to make this game super inclusive and I think it’s amazing. If I can ask, for the exclusive NSFW Patreon dlc, will it only be available for the month it comes out? Or could I become a patron months later and still be able to download it. I just don’t have a job right now otherwise I would LOVE to subscribe to your Patreon and definitely will once I have the money again!! Thank you so so much for making such a lovely game that’s brought me so much joy.

&

Hiya! I'm so sorry for sounding like a complete degenerate for asking, but will the nsfw moment on patreon still be available even if i'm not a patron of the month it comes out? (e.g. i didnt pay/join the necessary tier before the moment is released) Thank you for your hard work on OL, I really connected with Cove in a way I never anticipated.

Thank you very much for such kind words! The Patreon DLC will be up for download on the Patreon indefinitely once it’s done. Just like the normal DLCs, you can pay to get it whenever you like but it won’t be up for sale until it’s finished. So take all the time you need.

Sorry to bother you guys, but there was an earlier ask detailing the OL LI's love languages and I was just wondering- Would that be for them personally, as in what they do, or the love language they enjoy receiving the most? Because I know for some people it's different for both on giving and receiving and was a bit confused, haha. Sorry for the trouble, your games are really nice!

For Cove and Derek it’s what they like to receive and what they give. For Baxter, it’s what he likes to get. What he gives is tailored to his partner. He’s flexible that way~ And it’s no trouble.

asking (and also fanning... fanboying? fangirling? fanpersoning? screw it- from a distance) anonymously because my confidence is nonexistent.

will you be doing a kickstarter for our life: now and forever? i know it's probably been asked and mentioned before, but will you be doing a kickstarter akin to the one done for our life: beginnings and always? if so, will you be doing similar tier rewards? (if you guys do so, i will [politely] throw my money at you).

now, to the fan.. personing? FAN. uhm. to the part where this anonymous agender idiot will begin to act as the fan they are.

THE GAME IS SO. SO NICE. IT'S CUSTOMIZABLE. I'M REALLY HAPPY ABOUT THAT PART. AAAAA I ALSO ENJOY THAT YOU GAVE US THE OPTION TO JUST STAY BEST FRIENDS OR SOMETHING A8DBAIHEW- AND YOU INCLUDED AROS AND ACES IN THAT SEXUALITY CHOOSING PART- aaaAAA AND YOU MADE ELIZABETH FILIPINO- THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR CREATING SUCH AN INCLUSIVE GAME!!!

to summarize; will you be doing a kickstarter? and thank you for creating such a nice game. i, and likely the majority if not all of those who have played the game, am thankful.

Aw, thanks <3! I’m so happy it was such a nice experience for you. We are planning on having a Kickstarter for Our Life: Now & Forever. It’ll have similar rewards to the Our Life: O&A Kickstarter, but some changes will have to be made. Like, we’ll definitely need to increase the rate for getting a voiced name. Originally it was $3USD, which was super low for how much work it really took to add in a customized piece of voice acting, aha. Live and learn.

So sorry if you've already answered this, I looked but I couldn't find anything. Is the 18+ DLC coming out alongside the Step 3 DLC, or do they have different development timelines entirely? I'm so excited for all the DLC coming out in the future, and even though the release dates aren't out, I'm already counting down the days. :)

They have different development times and will come out separately. Despite taking place in the same Step period, they’re disconnected pieces of content and making progress on one doesn’t mean the other is closer to being finished. The normal Step 3 DLC is releasing first. It’s great to hear you’re looking forward to them!

Hey!! I'm absolutely LOVING Our Life! I have been pondering on one question though, what's Cove's ethnicity, if there is a set one? Or is it something we can Headcanon? 

&

hi hi! i wanted to say first of all that i absolutely adore our life. it's one of my favourite games of 2020, and i think it was just the perfect dose of positivity we all needed, even if you didn't intend to release it during such a hectic year lol! secondly, i wanted to say: if it's alright to ask, what ethnicity is cove? :-0 and what about his parents? i was just curious about it ^^)/ thank you!!

Cove’s mom, Kyra, is white. But his dad’s, Cliff’s, race doesn’t come up and players are able to headcanon it. So Cove is half white and half whatever you prefer Cliff to be! 

hello! there was a post on the patreon where you can run your fingers down cove's chest in errands - how do you get that scene? ♥ 

That was an old mistake on my part- you can only get that scene in the Ending rather Errands. You have to leave the big family dinner at the restaurant to go into the car, be dating Cove for a while, have Cove come see you there, and then mention using your hands when Cove makes a joke about hands.

in baxter’s dlc, is there any point where you can tell him about the previous renters of the condo? 

You can talk to him about that in the normal Step 3 DLC!

—– —– —– —–

Thank you for all the interest in our games everybody :D

We released a new FAQ! It answers common questions and we’ll keep adding more to it. Please check there before sending an ask. FAQ   Also, if you prefer to just see the main posts without all the asks/reblogs, feel free to follow our side account instead: GB Patch Updates Blog

[sisterspooky1013]

Only One Choice, Part 2, Chapter 4

Read it here on AO3 / Tagging @today-in-fic

Finally, after fifteen minutes of staring at her mostly full coffee cup, Mulder tosses both their drinks in the trash and trudges back to the Hoover building. He had plans to work late, but seeing Scully makes focusing on work impossible so he goes home to lie on the couch and stare at the ceiling instead, replaying their one-sided conversation over and over. Upon reflection, he realizes that he didn’t speak a single word to her other than her name. He was paralyzed, his feelings for her in direct conflict with his desire to never again feel the way he felt after she left his apartment that final time. He wishes that he’d asked her what she wanted from him, why she was there.

The phone rings and he rolls off the couch to retrieve it from his desk.

“Hello?”

“Will, I’m surprised you’re home. I was expecting to leave you a message.”

He smiles at the coincidence of Valerie calling him at this exact moment; she always seems to intuit when he needs to hear from her. Like he does with everyone, he had directed her to call him by his last name when they met. She did so for a while, but when things took a turn towards the intimate she informed him that she could not call a man she was sleeping with “Mulder” and sought to find an alternate moniker, Fox being out of the question. He was Maverick for a bit, then Sly, and for a brief moment Doug (he was never clear on the origin of that one). Ultimately, she went with his middle name, William, and finally shortened it to Will.

“Oh, and why’s that? My bustling social calendar?” he retorts, finding his way back to the couch and sitting heavily.

Valerie snorts. “More like your hopeless addiction to work. How are you? It’s been too long.”

Mulder sighs. “I’m...okay.”

“That bad, huh? You wanna talk about it?”

He considers the question. Talking to his ex-girlfriend about another woman seems a bit uncouth. “I’m not sure it’s something you’d want to weigh in on.”

“Girl trouble, then?” she says with a smile in her voice.

“Something like that, yeah.”

“Spill it,” she demands.

He tells her everything, about meeting Scully, about getting to know her, falling in love with her. He spares some of the gory details on their sexual encounter and her visit the next morning. He finishes on seeing her that day, and the reason he begged off work early. This is the most he’s shared with anyone about Scully, The Gunmen being great friends, but not the sort you seek dating advice from. It feels good to get it all out.

“Damn, Will. That’s a lot. Shouldn’t you be happy, though, after seeing her today?” He can hear the crunch of potato chips as she speaks, ever the dedicated snacker.

“It was good to see her in a sense, but it also feels a bit like a step backward. Like I’ve lost progress in the effort to move on.” He’s lying down now, one leg kicked over to rest on the coffee table and Priscilla curled up on his belly.

“I don’t get it,” Valerie says deadpan.

“What do you mean?” he asks.

“You’ve been pining over this woman for the better part of a year, and she turns up to tell you she’s single and she realizes that she should have chosen you all along. That’s somewhat of a fairy tale ending, is it not? Aside from the whole cheating-on-her-fiancé-part, I guess.”

“No, Val, she said that getting involved with me was a mistake, which I already knew. If anything she was rubbing it in, which seems uncharacteristically cruel.” He runs a hand down Priscilla’s back and she cracks an irritated eye at him until he stops.

“Oh my god, Will,” Valerie replies, pulling the phone away from her cheek and sighing in exasperation. “You know, for all that fancy education your parents paid for, you’re really dense sometimes.”

“Well then by all means, enlighten me.”

“She said she ignored the signs and made the wrong choice. She’s divorced now. The marriage was the wrong choice, you dolt. That other guy was the wrong choice. The signs were telling her you were the right one.”

Mulder sits up suddenly, Priscilla clinging to his chest in a last-ditch attempt not to get dumped on the floor and piercing his skin painfully. She ends up on the couch beside him.

“How sure are you about that?” he asks, his heart starting to race.

“Pretty damn sure. The way you describe her, she sounds like a thoughtful person. I don’t see what motivation she’d have to reiterate to you that what happened was a mistake; she’d already made that clear in the first go-round. The only reason she’d want to say all that to you is if she realized she was wrong. She wanted to set the record straight, and apologize. Not for what happened with you, but for choosing the other guy.” He can hear the slurp of her eating something like soup in between sentences, the wet smacks making this revelation sound like an offhand comment.

He’s quiet for a long moment, replaying his interaction with Scully today through the lense of her wishing she’d walked away from Ethan, that she’d chosen him. He closes his eyes. Does he dare hope that Valerie is right?

“You still there, Will?” she asks impatiently.

“Yeah, yeah I’m here. I’m just...trying to wrap my head around all this.”

“Well, I gotta run, so hopefully you can do your ruminating solo. I didn’t even get to tell you the reason I called.” He can hear her up and moving about, opening and closing drawers and cupboards.

“Shit, you’re right. Sorry. What’s up?”

“I’m pregnant,” she says, and then waits a beat before adding “it’s not yours, if that’s where your brain is going. We haven’t slept together in almost two years, you may recall.”

“Uh, yeah...yeah I do recall that seeing as I haven’t slept with anyone in almost two years. Are you...should I be offering congratulations? This is a good thing?” He’s hesitant, unsure if they’ve reached a stage of life where a pregnancy is happy news.

“Yeah, it’s a good thing. I’ve been seeing this guy for a little over six months. It wasn’t planned, but we’re excited. The relationship is still pretty new, obviously, but I think I can see myself growing old on a porch swing with him.” There’s a smile in her voice, a dreamy contentedness that makes his chest ache. It’s the reason they broke up, so they might each have a chance at something like this. He hopes he’ll have his chance too.

“That’s great, Val. I’m happy for you,” he says with a tight voice.

“Thanks, Will. Sounds like you found your person, too. You just gotta go out and get her.”

“Yeah, I guess I do.”

“What does she call you, by the way?”

“She calls me Mulder.”

Valerie laughs softly. “Must be fate.”

———

The days since seeing Mulder have been dreary, both in terms of the weather and her mood. She has already lectured Missy repeatedly over her terrible advice to see him again, opening up fresh wounds and sealing shut doors that she had previously held out hope might open again. The morose look on his face as she admitted that she wished she’d chosen him was a kick to the gut. It was too late, far too late, and he wasn’t able to forgive her. Though it’s what she knows she deserves, it still hurts.

She sits in the clean and quiet autopsy bay, filling out paperwork that she tends to reserve for the end of her days. She’s been working more overtime lately, in no rush to return to an empty apartment and be alone with her thoughts and self recrimination. The idea of dating seems obscene, and yet she can admit that she’s lonely. But not lonely for just anyone; she wants only the one person she knows she will never have.

“Excuse me,” calls out a smooth baritone from behind her, and she turns on her stool to see Mulder there. His charcoal grey suit and white dress shirt stand in contrast against his red tie, one hand in his pocket in an attempt to be casual. The cool bravado she saw in him before is absent, replaced with something vulnerable and raw. She feels adrenaline rush through her limbic system, stealing from her the ability to speak.

“I’m looking for the pathologist on duty,” he continues, and she feels a rock in her gut. He had to come here for work, and see her again. She feels guilty for existing in a space that he is forced to enter.

“I’m the pathologist on duty,” she responds regretfully.

He approaches her cautiously, taking the stool beside her without invitation, and considers her for a moment. With a look of trepidation, he holds out his hand and she gives him a quizzical look.

“Fox Mulder,” he says, his green eyes so earnest and open. There is no anger, no resentment.

“Dana Scully,” she replies, her voice catching as she understands, slipping her hand into his.

They are starting over. A clean slate. A new chance to get it right.

“You don’t look like a Dana,” he says, and there’s just a hint of playfulness in his voice.

She laughs, her mouth smiling while her eyes glaze over with tears. Their hands still clasped, he pulls her close, her stool rolling into the space between his knees as he wraps his arms around her shoulders. She should be embarrassed by this unprofessional display out in the open, but the only feeling she can muster is relief at the smell of his cologne and the press of his chest into her cheek. How many nights has she mourned the loss of this? Hundreds. Perhaps last night will be the final time.

“Would you like to get coffee with me?” he asks against her hair and she laughs again, nodding as her cheek brushes his shoulder. “Are you free now?” he adds.

She pulls back and looks at him, his eyes shining back at her with hope they’d both given up on.

“Yes, I’m free,” she answers.

[cotton-candy-in-a-thong]

Noncon stories, Fantasy vs. Reality, and more. fucking. issues.

Recently, I’ve been hit with some drama as to why I’m a “bad person” by various, anonymous users in this fandom. I thought I’d try to address the claim, address my stance on fics that involve noncon, and what I think about the “Tumblr mentality” after everything I’ve seen of this place. I should also note that I’m going to use the specific words and phrases I’ve been forced to constantly repeat as explaining my stance has been very difficult for me, as I’m a person who’s apparently challenging to understand.

This is going to be a long post, with subjects that's obviously going to trigger people so here's a warning right now..

That being said, I’m going to dive into this with some shit I’ve definitely said before:

“Consensual Noncon” Kink

The Appeal of this Theme in Fanfiction:

I don't think calling fics that involve noncon "rape fics" and those who enjoy it "getting off to rape" is a very good way to put it. Many engaging and well done media pieces often involve some very dark themes. Again, Monster by Meg and Dia is a song that features the main character sexually abusing a girl he met. You COULD call this a "rape song", but acting as if the rape is the only thing that matters in this story would be pretty..naive. The story has to do with an emotionally, and physically neglected/abused boy, who grows up and becomes an attention/love starved monster who's SO starving for validation, that he believes forcing himself upon a girl he knew would "prove" to himself that he's capable of being touched and loved. Of course, the main character eventually realizes that rape is not love, that what he did was wrong, and later kills himself in his own bathtub with kerosene and a match.

However, the assault aspect of this song is still a meaningful and alluring part because it talks about how emotional and physical abuse can warp someone's perspective on reality, to the point where they think forcing someone to "stay" with them is how to create a healthy relationship. That's the same energy I have for noncon fics, especially in the slasher fandom. Many slasher fics that contain noncon often have to do with the slasher preying on the reader because of their own fucked up mind. It's intriguing because, let's be honest, pretty much none of the slashers are in a pretty good mental space lmao. Thus, noncon actually falls more in line with how slashers would go about what they believe is a "good relationship" more often than quite a bit of fans here seem to believe. Again, Michael got boners, Jason chained someone up, Fredddy smooches people against their will, Billy Lenz is a sex offender, Chromeskull makes snuff, yada yada yada, you know the drill. That being said, it's interesting to see noncon being expressed with these characters because it gives us a new perspective on how fucked up they'd likely be if the world of sex and relationships was introduced to these characters.

Now why would some people become sexually aroused by the events of the story? First of all, how does “Consensual Noncon” kink work?

u/Jumbledcode. (2015). ‘Can anyone comment on why people (someone like me) enjoy rape/non-con story lines?’. r/TwoXChromosomes.

“I'd suggest that there are several factors that make up the appeal of non-con fantasies.

Guilt/Self-image: For many people, their sexual/relationship desires don't necessarily match their image of themselves, or alternatively they feel guilt over others' perceptions of those desires. Rape fantasies allow them to mantain some illusion of denial over their desires while still indulging in the idea of them.

Responsibility/Laziness: The appeal of abdicating control isn't limited to avoiding guilt; it's very tempting to want a scenario where you have no responsibility for maintaining your lifestyle/happiness. Similarly to before, it's the appeal of being given what you secretly want without even having to choose it.

Transgressiveness: A rape scenario has overtones of danger and taboo-breaking. These can easily be exciting and can therefore be a turn-on.

Desire: Being wanted is often a huge turn-on, and the idea of someone desiring you enough to break laws and disregard everything to have you plays into this feeling.

To me, it seems that most people who fantasize about being the subject of rape do so due to some mix of these motivations I've mentioned. Of course, there are also those who have experiences which have taught them to associate non-consent with their sexuality, but that's a separate issue”.

What if the Fanfic Only Involves the Act though? Wouldn’t it Encourage Actual Rape?

Let’s differentiate fantasy and reality. Towards those with the noncon kink: it offers arousal because of the ideas listed above (the idea of the reader not having to make any moves and the character doing the “intimate work” FOR them, the excitement of such a taboo sexual encounter, and the feeling to be desired through an altered, brutish encounter). Rape is the use of sex to remove control over the victim’s mind and body. The readers DO have control over whether or not they get to “encounter” (the choice to even read) this fantasy, so right away consent is present in reality, and no actual rape is being done.

Now does this mean that the kinkers are getting off on the idea of rape? Not really.

The thing with self-inserts is that it allows you to be connected to the story. That way, even if the story has you bruised up and begging for mercy, a part of you-you (if you’re a kinker) wants to keep reading it as you find it exciting. That way, as you and story-you are connected, what you really want in such a fantasy is for it to keep going despite the brutish, possessive, however yet desired nature of the character you’re dreaming about dealing with. (repeat: the idea of the reader not having to make any moves and the character doing the “intimate work” FOR them, the excitement of such a taboo sexual encounter, and the feeling to be desired through an altered, brutish encounter). That being said, it’s still entirely possible for kinkers to have their personal space and wishes crossed, and ultimately assaulted. Us enjoying the fantasy of such a reverie sexual encounter does not spell out to real life because (in reality) we’re not horny all the time, we would still like our bodies to be respected when we find it necessary, and we still have feelings as we’re still human.

“Fantasy (including video games) leads to violence” fallacy.

It would be like assuming that shooters in games like GTA fantacise about murder, encourage it, and would do it in real life. Taking fabricated anger out on virtual bodies or NPCs is quite different from the weight of murder (the killing of another human being). One can play video games with lots of violence towards such fabricated characters, while discouraging violence towards human beings. The act of using a game controller to beat up Donkey Kong in Smash, to shoot Nazi zombies in a Black Ops game, or to kill a Geisha in Little Nightmares is incredibly, and immensely different from completely eradicating the life of a person on Earth, and to assume that everyone who plays violent video games would spill out to violence in reality would be to participate in a ridiculous fallacy. Yes, there are outliers who are feeble minded enough to let their fantasies influence their actions towards actual people, but I must repeat that there are also people who utilize these fantasies for their personal satisfaction, while understanding the weight of the real world around them (and choosing not to act so detrimentally). Therefore, it wouldn’t be fair as it would be unnecessary to blatantly say that all fantasies are horrible and should be entirely eradicated if there ARE many people who ARE aware enough to understand that some thoughts are better off staying in fiction.

Now is the time to address what’s been said:

...Firstly, I think it’s very disgusting that random users, on Tumblr of all places, are trying to manipuate random victims of sexual assault into hating something or someone just because these users FEEL like “it’s the right thing to do”.. People, victims of sexual assault aren’t your fucking dogs. They’re not carriage horses, they’re not your work mules, they’re not your guns and swords...they’re just people who normally wanna be left the fuck alone like everyone else. Plus, there ARE people who have experienced sexual assault who take joy in reading such dark storylines. What would these users have to say to them? That they’re not “real” victims? That what they’ve experienced “never happened”? That they’re “just like” their own perpetrators for using the consensual nonconsent to miraculously help them overcome their trauma? Should they really abandon their coping mechanism just because there are other victims who cope in different ways?

..If you seriously believe that all people who have gone through a traumatic event are gonna cope in the exact same fucking way, you literally don’t even know enough about PTSD to even be making a bold statement about cope.

This is the part where I finally realized that people, and especially those on Tumblr, don’t actually care about rape victims as much as they may claim. Many users on here, on this platform and in this fandom, don’t truly give a flying monkey shit about rape victims as people, nor what they have to say about the subject. Rape victims..on this place..seem to be used mainly as a means of figurative weaponry for a group’s subjective morality.

I find the similarity close to radical feminism. Radical feminists often believe that women, from near and far, have to do everything in their power to “destroy” the patriarchy. This would mean disobeying the societal expectation of women, even if there are some women who take joyment in engaging in some societal standards for their personal liking. An example would be sex work. Radical feminists acknowledge the flaws in performing sex work, but believe that NO woman should EVER partake even if the woman wants to do it out of her own free will. In demonizing and ostracizing any woman who doesn’t fall into the radical feminist agenda, radical feminists actually contradict their purpose to “let women be free”. At this point, you realize that radical feminists often don’t actually give a fuck about what any woman wants for herself. Instead, radical feminists want to utilize any woman they can find just to flip off men as a group.

In Tumblr users trying to “stand up” for rape victims for their personal “holier-than-thou” ego, they fail to care enough about the very people they defend to understand the dynamics of some of their coping mechanisms, thus begin to bully some members of the group they claim to protect because of the very narcissism, misunderstanding, and controlling nature going on behind their own “activism”. So now that some users have found something to hate, in this case being noncon stories, they attempt to manipulate victims of rape into ostraciszing and demonizing fantasies and other victims of rape just because the “activists” themsleves don’t like it. Even trying to argue that rape victims have a “duty” to agree with everything these “activists” try to do for them.

Sounds awfully familiar to the attitude democrats have towards any minority when it’s time to vote. “I care about you...but you have to agree with everything I say and believe because I want what I think is best for you. If you disagree with me, you’re ungrateful and a traitor”.

Now...a little about myself.

I’m not sure of everyone else who’s into the noncon type of story, but I use it to get away from my past. In noncon stories, I want to read what happens in the chapters. I want to imagine them for morbid curiosity and arousal I feel at the time being. In reality, my attackers didn’t care when I wasn’t in the mood, and never gave me a choice. In noncon stories, I get to choose the character I want to encounter in the fantasy and NOT have it picked FOR me. In real life, I didn’t get to choose who did some things to me. In noncon stories, I get to stop reading them and do something else whenever I’m not feeling it anymore. In reality? My attackers kept going because, in the situation, it was no longer up to me. After noncon stories, my body doesn’t walk away with bruises, bite marks, and physical reminders every time I take my clothes off or try to masturbate. In real life...that shit can mark you, disease you, and then traumatize you. With the stories, I get to delete my search history, join another fandom, and act like nothing ever happened. For reality? Your own body is a reminder of what happened because it was real. In reality, I’m NEVER gonna fucking forget what happened. I’ll be lucky if my own mind and body doesn’t haunt me for at least one day..

So seeing that someone, and probably multiple people not only tried to use victims of sexual assault for their own “go get em” dogs, but to try and phrase me as someone who loves and encourages such an assault on human beings? After the things I felt? After the things I tasted? After pathetically searching for the support of relatives, just to get shut down with “you’re lying”?..

...All the times I've been held down..threatened..clothes getting snagged off..parts being opened and touched after I've fought to just get the fuck away from certain people...

According to this anon..."she likes rape".

...I guess I just fucking LOVED EVERYTHING THEN.

You know...all my life I’ve been misunderstood by many people. It’s honestly really disappointing that even now when I’m better at explaining myself than ever, I’m STILL being phrased as a “psychopath” by random people who haven’t even taken the time to even know me. Not even from a minute-long conversation through a damn computer screen. And you wanna know the funny thing? I’m probably being laughed at as this is being read. Some of these users, these internet stalkers, are probably giggling, smiling, and saying “Haha YES we GOT the bitch!! Cry you piece of shit SLUT!!”. So maybe explaining my past experiences to help everyone understand why some people may use noncon stories to their fantasy advantage is gonna land me messages going: “You haven’t been raped you lying bitch”, “Maybe you should get raped again”, “You definitely enjoyed it”, and the overused, yet strong “Kill yourself”.

So how am I gonna end this message? With me saying that many of you, who THINK you’re doing the right thing by justifying harassment and trying to manipulate others into joining your little crusade to bully people away from the fandom (over extremely mundane fucking things)...aren’t really good people. At best, in this case...you’re fucking stupid. You will never truly speak for any of the marginalized groups you claim to know like the back of your hand. Simply, you will never. be. a hero.

If by chance, by an astrological chance..that any random user wants to come up and apologize out of the blue for talking such shit and for saying such things..I don't even wanna hear it...just get the fuck out of my face..

[harrytpotter]

A Dangerous Bet — Chapter One.

Plot: A big change can make a person do crazy things. Take on dangerous bets. And that’s exactly what Y/N and Sirius Black did. Can a random and thoughtless occasion completely change two people’s lives?

Pairing: Sirius Black x Fem!Reader.

Warnings: Sexual content.

A/N: And here is my newest series, this time starring Hogwart’s ultimate heartbreaker Sirius Black! My original plan was to make the Reader house-neutral but for the sake of the story, I decided it would be better if she too belonged to Gryffindor. Hope you guys like it! :) ps: it’s unrevised because I’m lazy sooo I’m sorry for the probable grammar mistakes.

It’s always an unsettling feeling to go through a massive change. When something you thought would last forever just ends suddenly. When you realize it was all just a big lie. You feel like a complete fraud. Frustrated. Cheated on by the universe. And that was exactly how you were feeling. Like a big fat deception.

“How are you feeling?” Sirius’ voice popped into your ear, his mouth clung to it so you could hear him through the loud music that echoed in the common room. You realized you had been staring at the void, lost in your thoughts.

“Honestly? I don’t know. But if I had to choose a word to define it, I’d go with relief,” you screamed into his ear, a dose of firewhisky in your hand.

“That’s actually the last one that I’d ever think of,” he laughs. “Why is that?”

You started answering him, but Sirius shook his head and pointed negatively to his ear, letting you know that he couldn’t hear a thing. Pulling you by the hand, Sirius led you out of the party that was happening at full-force inside the Gryffindor tower. Once the two of you reached the hallway, he leaned against the wall and waited for you to answer his previous question.

“I don’t know, I just... think we’ve been together for this long because we were used to each other, it was...”

“Commonplace?” He completed the sentence for you. “I always thought you deserved better anyway.”

“Says the guy who’s with a different girl every week,” you joked, rolling your eyes at him.

“Ouch!” He laughed and scrunched in mock offense. “I know I’m one to talk, but you’re one of my best friends, L/N. I know you. He was just...”

“Too plain for me,” you roll your eyes at him, laughing. “I know, you’ve been saying that to me ever since he and I went on our first date.”

“Excuse me! Because he was!” He laughed even harder than before.

“I’ll never give you the satisfaction to say you’re right if that’s what you’re expecting, Black!” You retorted, lifting a brow at him.

“You don’t need to say it, love, knowing you know that is enough for me,” he winked at you.

“Come on, let’s head back,” you smirked with a roll of your eyes, pulling him by his hand back to the party.

Sirius never left your side at the party, making sure you were having the best time. You were both completely drunk and lost inside your own little word, which made the fact that your ex-boyfriend Bentley Styles was snogging Clark Summers go unnoticed by the two of you.

“SIRIUS!” You shouted suddenly amidst the loud music, feeling the alcohol cursing through your veins.

“YES?” He shouted back, smiling as he put away a strand of your hair that was stuck into your sticky forehead.

“I WANNA DO SOMETHING CRAZY! SOMETHING STUPID!”

“LIKE WHAT?”

“I DON’T KNOW! YOU ARE THE MASTER OF MISCHIEF HERE, BLACK. SURPRISE ME!”

Sirius smiled wide at you for a second before taking his right hand to the back of your head and pull you into his direction, a mischievous spark flickering in his eyes. He brushed his lips against yours teasingly, a grin playing on his features, before nibbling your lower lip. He then stared into your eyes with a burning intensity.

“Is that the best you got Black?” You asked teasingly and you could see his eyes darkening a little.

“Y/N L/N...” he adverted you.

“Sirius Black...” you retorted in a challenging tone, enough to drive him over the edge.

Next thing you knew, your tongues meet and briefly tussle with each other, quickly escalating into an epic battle for dominance. Your lips remained locked as your tongues danced tirelessly, until you finally gave in and let him had it. And he did. It was a kiss like no other, something you’ve never experienced before. It was like both of you were kissing with all of your senses, electricity flowing through every inch of the two of you. You tangled your fingers in his hair whilst he grabbed your waist with a tightened grip, both feeling the need of something to hold on to, both wanting more of each other even though you couldn’t get much physically closer than that. After what felt like hours you eventually pulled away, both out of breath and holding a look of pure longing. You couldn’t hear the music or any other noise for that matter. It was like the outside world had just disappeared and the two of you were the only ones in the room.

“Well, guess I can say I understand the appeal now,” you smirked weakly at him, the longing crystal clear in your face. “Unfortunately, this was not stupid or crazy enough for me.”

Sirius took one of his hands to your cheek, his mind clouded and fuzzy from what just happened and his heart aching with a burning longing. “Y/N, we’re drunk...” he said in a husky low voice, sending shivers down your spine.

“I know. But I’d still be doing this even if I was sober. Wouldn’t you?” You asked with a whisper.

Sirius stared at your lips and started brushing his thumb across them. You closed your eyes, enjoying the sensation. “Yes. I would,” he finally said.

“Good. Come with me,” you said, taking his hand in yours and leading him out of the tower.

As the two of you exited the portrait hole into the seventh floor, you dragged Sirius to the left corridor. Walking past through it three times with a very specific scene in mind, a door suddenly materialized itself on the wall, right in front of a tapestry depicting the attempt of Barnabas the Barmy to teach trolls ballet. Sirius smirked at you as you pushed the door open and pulled him inside, a mattress laid on the floor in the middle of the room. Pillows and cushions were scattered all around it on top of white pieces of fabric that covered the floor. Some pieces of fabric also hung from the ceiling. The walls were enlightened like a projection screen, showing landscapes like an old movie. Closing the door behind him, Sirius decided he couldn’t take it anymore and advanced towards you, grabbing and kissing you hungrily. You quickly entangled your fingers in his hair for the second time in the night as you felt his mouth sliding through your jaw on its way to your ear. Sirius nibbled your earlobe before trailing kisses and nibbles down your neck. You tilted your head a little, pressing him against your body.

“I want you so bad, Sirius,” you mumbled. You could feel his skin crawl at your words.

“Not more than I want you,” he whispered into your ear before kissing you one more time.

Sirius led you in the direction of the mattress and as soon as you approached it, you undressed each other hurriedly, barely containing the desire that was spreading through you like wildfire. Getting on the mattress, your bodies began to swing together in a rhythmic pace, hands sliding through each other’s bodies as sounds of pleasure started to fill the room. Both you and Sirius felt ecstatic, completely wrapped in this sensual, spicy, magical moment where your bodies fitted perfectly together, as if one was the exact match of the other. It was fast, rough and hungry, yet gentle. You went on this high for as long as you could draw the moment, falling exhausted next to each other after you both cried out each other’s names as you came almost together. Sirius slid his arm underneath you and wrapped it on your shoulders, pulling you close to him. You rested your head on his chest, staring thoughtfully at the ceiling.

“What’s going on in that mind of yours? Regretting your crazy, stupid decision already?” He asked with a laugh whilst drawing circles on your belly with his index finger.

“Although it was most definitely the stupidest and most reckless decision I’ve ever made, I don’t regret any bit of it,” you laughed, turning your head so you could look at him.

Sirius smiled and shifted his position so he was facing you. He took his free hand to your chin and gently pulled your head to him so he could kiss you. “So what are you thinking about?” He pressed his forehead against yours and brushed his nose on your own.

“That you’re surprisingly sweet after sex!” You exclaimed with a mockingly frown, earning a hearty laugh from him. “I was thinking that one time wasn’t enough, actually...” you added with a lustful look. Sirius got the message and smirked playfully at you before starting it all over again.

——————————————————————

“Morning, beautiful,” Sirius said as you opened your eyes, giving several pecks on your lips, causing you both to smile amidst them.

“You know, you never stroke me as the kind of guy who slept in and awaked the girl with sweet kisses in the morning,” you teased.

“That’s because I’m not, but since you’re my best friend I figured you deserved a little effort,” he shrugged playfully.

You opened your mouth in defeat at his remark before bursting into a laughter and threw a pillow to his face, getting up and starting to dress yourself.

“So, what are we doing now?” He asked, getting up.

“You i don’t know, I, however, am going to take a nice and long bath.”

“Want some company?” He winged his eyebrows at you, grabbing you by the waist.

You rolled your eyes with a smirk, playfully pushing him away. “Will you put some clothes on for Merlin’s sake?”

“Why? It’s not like you haven’t seen it before,” he winked at you.

“Aren’t you so full of yourself, Black?!” You rolled your eyes at him once again.

He laughed whilst throwing his underwear and pants on. He suddenly stopped with his shirt in hands, studying it with a fabricated interest. “I think we should talk,” he said, looking into your eyes. As you stared at him with a brow lifted, he added, “about what happened between us.”

“Sirius...” you sighed. “We’re cool. I know you don’t do feelings, besides I just got out myself of a long-term relationship, it’s not like I’m looking for anything serious right now.”

“And here was I thinking you were looking for all things Sirius right now,” he joked, his and your laughter echoing in the room.

“You really are something else, aren’t you?” You smiled at him. Sirius smiled back at you and the two of you stared at each other for a while.

“So, setting the record straight here, this,” he pointed back and forth at you and him, “was a one-time thing right?”

“Well... yeah,” you shrugged.

“Works for me, L/N,” he smirked at you.

“Goodbye, Black,” you smiled at him, taking a while longer before heading off.

——————————————————————

As the hot water streamed down your body, you closed your eyes, reliving all of the memories from the previous night. A smirked appeared on your face as you reminded of Sirius’ hands trailing your body. It was hands down the best night you’ve ever spent with a guy and you knew it had set the stakes high. But it would never happen again, it couldn’t. Sirius was your best friend and you knew him way too well to know that he’d move on to his next prey and never look back. Even with feelings off the table, he was not the kind of guy that engaged on something casual. He was a one-night stand kind of guy. Which was too bad because you could use the distraction yourself. Getting off the bath, you threw your uniform on and got ready for the day with an unusual disposition.

Glancing at your watch, you stormed off your dorm and the Gryffindor tower, fastening your pace in order to be able to have breakfast before your classes.

As you entered the Great Hall, you spotted all of your friends already sat on the table, including Sirius. Suppressing a smile, you went to take your seat between Lily and Alice.

“Finally! Where the hell were you?” Marlene asked as soon as you entered her field of vision.

“Yes, L/N! Where were you? It’s not like you to be late for breakfast,” Sirius shot a mischievous glance at you. You could sense his smirk from behind his mug.

Before you could say anything, James jumped in and said with a brow lifted: “you’re awfully cheerful for a Monday morning, Pad, which is not like you at all.”

“I had a good night of sleep, Prongs. That’s all,” he shrugged to his friend and sent a discreet wink on your way, cautiously so none of your friends could see it.

“You’re lucky, I barely got any sleep and my head hurts like hell,” Alice said, massaging her temples with her fingers. “Please never let me drink firewhisky again.”

“You always say that and end up drinking it anyway,” Peter noted, nodding vaguely.

“Wormy is right, Alice. Besides, it’s not like any of us could’ve helped you out, the whole night is pretty much just a blur to all of us,” James said proudly at the outcome of the party he had planned.

You smiled at your friends, gratitude filling you as you stared at each one of these weirdos. They were your family away from home. Amidst the vibrant discussion about the previous night, Remus reached for your hand, giving it a light squeeze.

“Are you okay? I mean, with all that kissing and everything,” he asked, looking sympathetically into your eyes, searching for any traces of hurt. He had seen Bentley and Clark kissing at the party and assumed you had as well.

You chocked on your cuppa as you tried to look innocent and avoided Sirius’ eyes at all costs. “Kissing? What kissing?” You managed to say after pulling yourself together.

Your little group of friends fell dead silent, eyes wandering from you to Remus.

“Oh,” he opened his mouth in realization. “You haven’t seen it, have you?”

“Seen what exactly, Rem?” You asked, genuinely confused.

“Bentley and Clark. They looked... pretty cozy at the party,” he shrugged as if he was apologizing.

You just shrugged, unsure of what to say. You could feel Sirius’ intense stare burning holes into your skin, but you didn’t dare to look at him.

“Well, we should probably get going if we want to make it on time, Minnie doesn’t look to be in a good mood today,” James said, breaking the awkward silence.

Slowly, you and your friends got up and headed out of the Great Hall. Sirius, James and Remus walked together, joking and laughing. Alice and Marlene were on their trail, engaged in a conversation with Peter. You and Lily walked a little slower, detached from the big group. The redhead was unusually quiet.

“I know why you choked on your tea earlier,” she said, bluntly and suddenly.

“Excuse me?” You tried to play dumb.

“I saw it. You and Sirius kissing at the party,” she said, stopping in front of you with a concerned look on her face.

You bit your lower lip, once again unsure of what to say. After a while, you shrug.

“Y/N... Do I need to remind you that you used to have a crush on him before you started dating Ben?” She asked, a mother-look taking over her features.

“Lils, it was a very long time ago! We were kids back then! Besides, it’s not like I’m expecting something from him or anything. It was simply a one-night stand,” you said, crossing your arms on your chest defensively.

“For your sake, I really hope it was. It’s a dangerous bet for you to take. Don’t get me wrong, he is one my closest friends, but he is...” she started, pausing suddenly.

“Sirius...” you finished her sentence with a heavy sigh. “Don’t worry, Evans, he might be my best friend but I’m not stupid to ever think he’ll commit to anyone. I was just having fun,” you reassured her, linking your arm in hers and leading her to class.

[asthmark]

❝ stuck ❞ l.dh

request → “Hi~ I'm absolutely in love with your work. It makes me so soft uwu. I was wondering if you could write a Haechan one similar to the roommate Jeno one you wrote. About what it's like to just live with him” —@demiwizardstay​

pairing → demon!haechan, reader, guardianangel!mark

word count → 4.5k

a/n → whoops i made this into a demon!haechan au hahaha sorry i hope this is domestic enough for u tho :D

your eyes must be playing tricks on you.

there’s no other reasonable explanation. 

on the other hand, the shadow splayed out ever so comfortably on your couch seems to be very real. it must be just as aware of your presence as you are of its but to your surprise, it isn’t telling you to put your hands where it can see them or demanding to know where all your most valuable items are. it sits there, peacefully as if it owns the place. for a split second you consider the possibility that you walked into the wrong apartment but the key in your hand reminds you that the situation you are in is not your fault in any way. 

“so... are you gonna scream or just stand there?”

the figure’s voice is unmistakably masculine and drips with sass. you know you should feel scared. your heart should be pounding as your shaky fingers dial 911 and you hysterically report an intruder to the authorities and beg them to come fast. however, it seems that this stranger’s calm aura has rubbed off on you as you respond with an equally as unbothered tone.

“well, i would appreciate it if you invited me in.” you pause. “oh wait, it’s my apartment.”

with that, you step inside and go about your regular routine with a calmness you didn’t know you possessed; especially when there was an… unwelcome visitor lounging on your sofa. despite that, you kick off your shoes and toss your jacket somewhere on the floor like you normally would. you twirl your keys around your fingers as you go to turn to flick on the light switch. it rids you of the darkness that had settled upon your apartment and the stranger is completely revealed to you.

the first thing you notice about them is their sun kissed skin that’s littered in the freckles you would compare to the most captivating constellation. although, the stranger’s flawless complexion is the least of your worries considering the two horns that peek out from underneath their tufts of brunette hair. 

you physically restrain yourself from asking for his skin routine and instead opt for yet another sarcastic comment. “all ready for halloween, i see.” your eyes lock onto the appendages, choosing to ignore how realistic they were. “was party city having a sale?”

your comment seems to get your uninvited guest out of his daze as he scoffs. “are you kidding?”

“hey, this is my place, i ask the questions,” you scold.

he ignores you, instead going to tug on his horns. “these are all real, baby.”

you force yourself to maintain eye contact with him, waiting for him burst into laughter and tell you it was all a prank. instead, his unfaltering smug gaze pierces into you. you swear you stop breathing when his eyes flash bright red for a second.

“alright, you can tell the camera crew to come on out.” you glance around hoping this really was just some sort of hidden camera–practical joke type of thing. you half expect ashton kutcher jump out and tell you that you had gotten punk'd but you’re never granted that privilege. your eyes end up back on the boy lounging on your sofa and he returns the stare, eyes narrowed and mouth curved into a smirk.

it was almost… devilish. 

“oh my god.”

“not quite.” he finally stands, stretching his limbs out without a care in the world. “wanna try again?”

you stay silent, mouth slightly agape. there was only one other explanation. 

he’s satan. and he’s also in your living room. and the worst part was how undeniably hot he is.

you regret giving him the satisfaction of your stunned silence as it seems like that was the exact reaction he wanted. he laughs at your expression and it just sounds evil. 

“alright, alright. i’ll tell you what i am. but only because you mortals are always so cute when you’re scared.”

“i’m not scared, you idiot,” you interject without a second thought. “i just didn’t know i’d be selling my soul today. it’s a total bummer. i’m so young, i still have so much to do. i never even got around to trying yoga with ryujin!”

the boy’s eyebrows furrow in confusion. “your soul? did i say i wanted your soul?”

“well, you’re like, satan right? isn’t that what you do?”

he rolls his eyes. “i’m obviously a demon. satan is a loser who never leaves his fiery throne. which, by the way, isn’t as cool as it sounds. we’re not on the best terms at the moment.”

“so... you don’t want my soul?”

he shakes his head vigorously, looking disgusted at the mere idea of it. “what would i even do with it?”

“i don’t know. honestly i’m just going off of what i see in the movies.”

“that was your first mistake, baby.” he makes his way closer to you. “this isn’t the movies.”

“okay, back it up,” you say, attempting to put some distance between you and him.

he raises his hands in defeat as he obeys, retreating back to your couch. 

“why are you here of all places? shouldn’t you be sipping on a piña colada with satan right now?”

he crosses his legs nonchalantly. “like i said, we aren’t on speaking terms. in fact, i’m kind of… banned.”

“banned?” you echo. “from where?”

“hell? duh.” 

you scowl at his attitude. “it’s not my fault you’re on timeout.”

he pinches the bridge of his nose in frustration. “don’t call it that. it’s just a punishment.”

“same thing,” you say, making your way into the kitchen. you weren’t sure if leaving a demon unattended in your living room was the best idea but the initial shock had already worn off. besides, it seemed like he had been in your apartment for a while already. “what did you do anyway?”

“it’s not even that bad,” he grumbles.

“must have been if you got kicked out of hell.” you chuckle to yourself as you open up your pantry, looking for something to stuff your face with. “do you understand how bad you must be if even the devil himself can’t stand you?” 

“i’m not bad, per se,” he says, picking at his nails. “just a little annoying.”

“no kidding,” you grumble to yourself, rummaging through your pantry, in pursuit of your favorite snack. you were sure everything would make more sense once you got some food in your system. when all you find is an empty, crumpled bag where your chips had once been, you whine loudly. “did you eat all my hot cheetos?”

“they reminded me of home!”

“i can see why they kicked you out,” you retort. 

“listen, i get that this is an inconvenience—”

“that’s kind of an understatement.”

“but, this is the only place i can stay. turns out people freak out when you appear in their living rooms. you were the only one that didn’t.”

“yeah, people usually don’t take too kindly to that—hold on, did you say stay?”

he crosses his arms over his chest. “where else am i supposed to go?”

“anywhere but here.”

he gives you an unamused stare, his eyes glinting red once again. 

“i mean, don’t you have any demon friends you can stay with?”

“not here. we avoid earth at all costs. it’s trashy. that’s why this is a punishment.” 

not even you can argue with that. “understandable. well, how long are you gonna be here?” 

“don’t know.” 

you blink at him. “so… you’re planning to crash with me until satan decides to be your friend again?” 

he groans. “first of all, he’s never been my friend. second of all, yes, that was the plan i had in mind when i broke into your house.” 

“broke in?” 

“well, actually i used teleportation powered by the dark arts to get in but i don’t think your tiny human brain is ready for that conversation.” 

“and i don’t think it’d be in your best interest to insult the person you’re currently trying to move in with.” 

that seems to shut him up, as he purses his lips together and stares at you blankly. 

“listen, if we’re going to do this, there’s gotta be some ground rules, okay?” 

he stays silent so you decide to continue. 

“you have to pull your own weight around here. you might be some powerful being of the underworld but that doesn’t mean you get out of laundry day and doing dishes, got it?” 

he seems displeased, if the frustrated huff of air he lets out is anything to go by. 

“and you have to promise me that by staying here you aren’t putting me in any kind of danger.” 

“well, i can’t guarantee i won’t cause problems,” he says, raking his fingers through the hair in between his sharpened horns. “but i can protect you from whatever crap comes our way.” 

you contemplate it. you weren’t entirely sure what a demon like him was capable of but it seemed like it would be a list that was equally lengthy as it was impressive. yet, you still can’t bring yourself to agree to anything. 

as if he senses your apprehensive nature, he grabs your chin, forcing you to look into his hazelnut eyes. you only get to admire the warm tint for a split second before his eyes flash red yet again. they stay glowing longer than any of the previous times; long enough for you to notice how shiny and bright they are, reminding you of ripe cherries. 

“i promise.” 

the tone of his voice is surprisingly firm and definitely the most serious you’ve heard him the entire night. he retreats his hand from you and you find yourself leaning forward, almost craving his touch. his eyes go back to their original hue and you feel yourself regain your senses. 

“what did you just do?” you ask, leaning back from him. “what kind of dark magic was that?”

he tries to conceal his smile but ultimately fails, his pearly whites coming onto display. “that wasn’t magic, baby. i believe you just got lost in my eyes but don’t worry. i would too.” 

you let out a bitter laugh. “oh my god, you’re vain.” 

“do you mortals have to mention him every five seconds?” he chides, grimacing. 

it takes you a moment to realize who he’s referring to but when you do, you erupt in laughter. “really? that gets to you? you’re pretty sensitive for a big and bad demon.” 

“i have a name, baby.” 

“so do i.” 

his lips curve into a coy smile. “donghyuck.” 

you give him your name in response, not even bothering to think about it twice, much to your surprise. most would probably be more hesitant to introduce themself to a demon, much less invite them into their home. 

yet here you were, doing both. 

he offers you nothing more than a grin—it seemed more genuine than the last—before turning on his heel to make his way farther into your apartment. “so, where will i be sleeping? i was thinking your bed would be ideal.”

“well, i was thinking you could start with a thank you,” you suggest, trailing after him. 

he saunters down the hallway, twisting the knob of the door second to the left and peeking in. you can only imagine how much snooping around he had done before you had arrived, judging by the fact that he maneuvered your home so expertly. 

he hums as he scans the room as if it’s the first time (which you’re sure it’s not). “it looks comfortable enough for the two of us.” 

you can tell there’s no arguing with him, especially as he steps inside and sits himself on the edge of your bed, hands running over the soft fabric of your comforter. he bounces up and down a couple times, seeming satisfied enough with the mattress. 

in the blink of an eye, he’s underneath the heaps of blankets, tucked in snuggly. 

you exhale, trying to maintain patience. “i can tell this whole dark magic thing is going to be a problem for me.”

even though only his eyes peek out from beneath the polyester sheets, you’re positive he’s wearing an obnoxious smirk. his voice comes out slightly muffled when he answers, “think of it as a blessing, not a curse.”

“we’ll see.” you try to suppress a yawn but it manages to escape you, eyes squinting and your hand clamping over your mouth. “right now, i gotta sleep. hopefully i’ll wake up tomorrow and realize this was all a dream.”

“so, what you’re implying is that i’m a dream?”

“i meant to say nightmare.”

“that’s more accurate.”

as if the dazed tone of his voice didn’t give his sleepiness away, donghyuck’s drowsy eyes and horns sinking into the soft plush of your pillow certainly did. he looked the least threatening right then and there and you decide that this is the donghyuck you like best. you can’t help the sudden urge you feel to curl up in bed right next to him and doze off into blissful unconsciousness. 

“what are you waiting for? get in here.”

could demons read minds too? you can’t be bothered to think about it for another second before you take donghyuck’s very tempting offer and crawl into your bed. you don’t care that you’re not in your pajamas or that you smell like coffee beans, courtesy of the cafe you worked at.

all you can seem to focus on is the feeling of donghyuck’s soft breath against your neck and his oddly cute snores. it was ironic; a demon all cuddled up beside you, sleeping like a baby. you almost giggle at the striking comparison. 

needless to say, you fall asleep with a smile on your face.

+

“you know, it really pisses me off to come home and see you sitting in the exact same position you were in when i left.”

donghyuck rolls his eyes, an expression he’s mastered over time. “what else am i supposed to do? you made it pretty clear that you hate my demonic rituals and that’s kind of my speciality.”

you shrug as you kick your shoes off upon entering your shared apartment. “i don’t know. but binging the entire marvel movie saga can’t possibly be healthy.”

“we don’t have this in hell!” donghyuck exclaims, gesturing to the television his eyes remained glued on. 

“well, you should get used to life on earth considering you don’t know how long you’re gonna be stuck here.”

“i’m already on it. pop culture is actually really informative.”

“not what i meant. i was thinking more along the lines of a job.”

donghyuck finally tears his eyes away from the television to give you an unamused stare. “that’s really funny, y/n.”

“i’m serious! would it kill you to get off the sofa?”

“no. nothing would. i’m immortal, remember?”

you narrow your eyes. “oh yeah, almost forgot. you’re gonna be a bother to me forever and ever.”

“this isn’t the ideal situation for me either. but no need to torture me with low life mortal tasks.”

“bills gotta be paid, it’s a part of life,” you respond, taking a seat beside him. “or else we’ll both be breaking into people’s houses and begging them to move in.”

“i didn’t beg, alright? and i didn’t break in either! i simply...  appeared.”

“that’s even worse.”

“you didn’t seem to mind when you were all snuggled into me this morning.”

donghyuck’s words paired with his taunting tone cause you to feel slightly warm but you ignore it for the sake of a comeback. “you seemed comfortable yourself because when my alarm for work went off your arm was pretty tight around me.”

you swear you see him pout for a moment. “that’s not my fault! there aren’t many people open to cuddling in hell! i was just… seizing the opportunity.”

“since you’re all about opportunities, you should really look into that job. remember what we agreed on? no slacking off.”

“i’m not! just look in the kitchen!”

you know whatever it is, you’re not prepared for it. nevertheless, you tiptoe to said area, hoping your roommate had simply followed instructions and done the dishes and swept. but, of course, that itself is too much to ask as you watch the sink overflow with suds, plates and silverware scrubbing themselves clean and floating into their respective cupboards. a broom dances across the tiled floor, dust flying everywhere. you find that the mess in your kitchen resembles a train wreck; you want to look away but you just can’t. 

you call out to donghyuck, eyes still trained on the chaos before you, asking, “what did we say about rituals?”

“it’s a little more complicated than a ritual, baby!”

once you finally gather enough willpower to walk away from the kitchen and whatever is happening in it, you return to the living room, placing yourself in front of the television that donghyuck is so entranced in. 

“you’re coming with me to work tomorrow, got it?”

donghyuck groans for a second before rolling his eyes dramatically hard. “fine. now, can you move? the avengers are about to fight thanos.”

you comply, retreating to your bedroom but not before shouting back, “iron man dies!”

you shut your door, donghyuck’s frustrated screeching still coming through loud and clear.

+

your phone alerts you that it’s 6 am by playing an alarm so loud donghyuck falls out of bed. comically enough, it’s the loud thump! that comes when donghyuck makes contact with the floor that really gets your eyes to flutter open. you peek over the edge of the bed, every bit of grogginess leaving your body the second you see your roommate tangled in your sheets, limbs sprawled on the ground. 

“are you okay?” you ask, laughter lacing your words.

“doing just fine,” he mumbles in response. soon thereafter, his eyes shut once again.

“hey! no way are you going back to sleep, we have work!” 

you drag yourself out of bed over to where donghyuck lays, attempting to resume his peaceful slumber. you grab his arms, attempting to hoist him up. you’re almost positive he’s making it more difficult than it should be as he lets his body go completely limp in your grasp. when you finally get him standing upright, he smiles lazily at you, obviously still half asleep. 

“c’mon dork, you need to get ready. you’re gonna make some cash today!”

+

donghyuck makes it clear he understands nothing as the morning progresses.

he doesn’t get the importance of being on time or even working in the first place. he offers to just take out your landlord, which according to him will “solve all your problems”, more times than you count and you’re sure that if he mentions it one more time you’d actually consider it. he also claims he doesn’t understand the concept of a shower, asking you to help him out, yet the knowing smile on his face lets you know he’s more than well aware of what it entails. unfortunately, you realize this after spending more time than you’d care to admit explaining the concept of getting naked to him in a tight, confined space to him only for him to request a demonstration. 

upon leaving your apartment, more new things are revealed to donghyuck. you can’t help but admire the wonder and awe in his eyes. the adoration quickly wears off when he throws a temper tantrum at the subway station, refusing to board it and you have to physically force him on and promise that no, he won’t get trapped inside.

despite the slight bumps in the road, you arrive at your shift with time to spare. the clock tells you that you won’t have to be behind the counter for another five minutes so you grab your apron and provide donghyuck with one too. you give him quite possibly the quickest tour of the cafe ever and explain to him over five times what you were there to do (“so, we just take people’s orders? we serve them?” “and they pay for it.” “just when i thought it couldn’t possibly get dumber”). you end putting him on cleaning duty since you were well aware of his lack of social skills. he frowns when you tell him he has to do it himself, no magic allowed. the last thing you needed was someone getting nearly knocked over by a levitating broom and bringing it to your manager’s attention. speaking of—

“good morning, y/n,” greets doyoung. his hair is slicked back and his eyes shine, as always. “always a pleasure to see you on your shift.”

donghyuck watches you cautiously, observing the way you smile nervously and avoid meeting doyoung’s eyes. he assumes he has some kind of authority over you. 

“and hello there. who might you be?”

doyoung is now very aware of donghyuck’s presence, giving him a wide smile but a menacing stare. you don’t get a word out before donghyuck’s giving him a polite smile and nod of his head.

“i was just hired, y/n is showing me the ins and outs. i honestly could not be happier working under leaders like you, sir.”

doyoung hums, obviously enjoying donghyuck’s praise enough to let it blind him from the fact that you hadn’t even been hiring in the first place. “sir, huh? haven’t heard that one before.” 

donghyuck holds his breath, wondering if he had overdone it.

“i like it. you seem like a hard working fellow. glad to have you on the team.” your boss gives him a firm pat on the back before walking away, probably to go scare some other employees. 

donghyuck sticks his tongue out at him once his back is turned and you simply laugh, smile still present on your face when your first customer arrives.

+

“i’m here!”

you glance up from the cash register to catch your coworker rushing in, looking frazzled… as always.

“hey mark,” you greet, giving him a welcoming smile. “i’m so glad you’re here. there’s been this crazy demand for frappuccinos all day and you know i suck at those.”

mark chuckles as he ties on his apron. “no offense, but the only order you should be taking are the puppuccinos.”

you shoot him the most non-threatening glare possible which ends up with you bursting into a fit of laughter. “i’m not even gonna argue with that.”

“hypothetically, if i made doyoung’s coffee explode on him but made sure he didn’t know, would you be mad?”

you roll your eyes at donghyuck’s bold entrance yet you still giggle. “at this point, i say go for it. ooh, maybe we could even sneak out while he’s cleaning it up. what do you say, mark?”

where there would usually be a giddy laugh, there’s nothing but silence on your coworkers behalf. you put a pause on counting the money in the register to steal a glance at mark who’s eyes are dead set on donghyuck who also seems to be intensely focused on the blonde. 

“demon,” mark mutters.

you feel yourself freeze up; how could he possibly know? despite the panic that settles upon you, you’re sure donghyuck will find a way to handle the situation. you expect a lie, maybe even some magic if the situation called for it. when you see his lips curve upwards sinisterly, you know you’re in for an entirely different outcome.

“angel.” there’s a teasing lilt in donghyuck’s voice; it sends chills up your spine.

mark’s jaw is clenched and you know he’s equally as tense as you are. “we should go, y/n.”

“mark, he’s just—”

“now.”

the sudden desperation yet dominance in mark’s tone is even more alarming than donghyuck’s. 

“you know,” donghyuck begins, rounding the counter, dramatically. “i’ve never been a fan of the way guardian angels think they own their person.”

you swear your brain shuts down. there was no way you had come into contact with a demon and now an angel—your guardian angel. and there was definitely no way it was your closest coworker, right?

“it’s our responsibility—she is my responsibility.”

donghyuck folds his arms as he gives mark a once over. “you won’t mind if i take over, right?”

mark chuckles, begrudgingly. “you know i can’t let that happen.”

“i’m not hurting her, i’d never hurt her.” donghyuck takes his place next to you, wrapping an arm around you. he peers down at you, eyes glowing red for the first time since your first encounter. “my angel.”

you know the nickname is to piss mark off and you assume it works as you observe his hands clench into fists. although, you’re more focused on how the pet name effortlessly rolled off donghyuck’s tongue, like temptation itself. 

“don’t make this difficult for yourself,” donghyuck continues. “you know feelings are dangerous. that’s what they tell you when you first sign up. just don’t let that get you into trouble, got it?”

the tension is suffocating and you almost wish a customer would enter the currently empty cafe to save you from it. although, donghyuck makes sure that you don’t have to endure it any longer as a second later, you’re both gone, only a cloud of red smoke left behind. 

mark stands alone in the cafe.

he had gotten this job for you; to look after you. 

perhaps he had caught feelings, as well.

he assumes that was his first mistake. 

+

when donghyuck takes you back to your apartment, it seems the awkward atmosphere from the cafe has followed you home.  

“uh, can i ask what that was all about?”

“that guy, mark was it? yeah, he’s your guardian angel. i can’t stand it when those guys act like they’re in charge of the person they’re sent to look after,” he seethes. 

you watch donghyuck’s fit of frustration carefully, eyes wide. when he sees how confused you are he can’t help but sigh. 

“i’m sorry, i just… didn’t appreciate him acting like you were his. guess i don’t really like the thought of that.”

you would have to be oblivious beyond compare to not realize donghyuck was completely and utterly jealous. you prod him further, asking, “well, then who would you rather i belong to?”

he glances up at you. “whoever you want, baby.”

“you know what? i think i have somebody in mind.”

not even a second later, donghyuck takes you back in the security of your bed, under your piles of fluffy blankets. what feels most comfortable (and strangely familiar) is the feeling of donghyuck’s arm clinging to you, making you sure you’re pressed right into his chest like a puzzle piece. 

“the person you had in mind was me, right? ’cause if not, this might be awkward.”

your eyes roll back despite knowing he can’t see it. “no, it was mark.”

“not funny.”

your shoulders shake with laughter. “it’s a little funny.”

“whatever, keep laughing. just let me hold you, alright?”

“that would be heaven.” silence settles upon the both of you as you go into nearly hysterical laughter. “get it? because you’re a demon… from hell… and that’s like, the opposite—”

“yeah, i get it, baby.” he pauses. “how many more lame jokes surrounding me being a demon will i have to endure?”

“i definitely have more where that came from so my guess is...  more than you can count.”

he moans in displeasure. “you’re lucky you’re cute… for a mortal.”

[caffernnn]

Final stroke spoilers: ⚠️‼️

I just saw a post on Twitter about the Haru and Rin scene and how they didn’t feel that it was that ooc of Haru. I thought I was the only one who felt that it was kind of justified on Haru’s end. Because both Rin and Ikuya put Haru and their friends through so much when they were lost and wanted to swim with Haru again. And I get that professional swimming is entirely different than what they’re used to, but it really sucks that as soon as the competition got a little hard they decided to just drop free and only swim their preferred styles. That’s got to be a slap in the face to Haru, because what was all of that other stuff about? Like Rin wanted for YEARS for Haru to swim on the world stage and after the first race is like “you’re on your own.” He honestly deserves it to be honest even if Haru would’ve never said anything to protect their friendship he was clearly thinking or thought these thoughts. For a show where Haru is the mc we rarely get to see how he feels about things. I wish we can see the movie soon, cause I really wanna see how that whole sequence takes place.

⚠️ Talking about Free! Final Stroke spoilers below the cut ⚠️

It’s wild to me (it probably shouldn’t be surprising; idk) how even going off of just spoilers, there is a clear divide in the reactions people are having to Haru’s actions in the movie, especially in reference to the sudden shift leading up to the fight with Rin. I can see why people are surprised by it on a base level because so much of his successes in DttF, paired with the camaraderie everyone seems to have for a majority of the movie, leads you to believe Haru has emotionally matured and stabilized since high school, which is true! He’s more open to change and examining his emotions, especially as he starts to grapple with a high-stakes long-term goal for what feels like the first time. With that said, all of this can be true at the same time Haru is going through a steady breakdown that can/will likely lead to burnout. So many people who’ve been put through rigorous academic programs or career training or anything else equally as intensive can attest to the frustration of feeling like every few steps forward (gaining experiential knowledge, making connections, learning more about your identity in reference to x goal, etc) are followed by a step back (exhaustion, plateaus, expectations you can’t meet, mistakes spilling out when you can’t keep repressing the negatives in the name of “productivity”). Haru was able to make it this far because he has grown and started to heal some of the cracks in his support group, but the sheer amount of pressure makes it easier for him to break, and old wounds that never fully healed have time to fester.

I probably sound like a broken record in these movie-related posts when talking about Haru getting obsessed with becoming stronger and not knowing what to do with that fairly new and overwhelming drive. I can’t be mad at Haru completely for his choices here (can’t wait to be called a Haru apologist when the movie comes out in more places jfjdjd) because he partially fell victim to circumstance. This is one of the first times Haru takes the expectations of him being a “hero” or “prodigy” into consideration, and now he’s trying to navigate the expectations of success that come with those titles while not being sure 1) what exactly they are beyond winning, and 2) not being sure if they’re actually attainable for him. Along with that, he’s putting faith in Ryuuji’s instruction and guidance because he needs someone with any sort of credibility or experience with the pro circuit to show him how to get to the top. Even though from an outside standpoint it’s easier to discredit and reject Ryuuji’s assertion that everyone at the top has to give something up to get there, there are a number of reasons Haru reconsiders the notion with everything he’s seeing. He’s seeing his newest rivals reach crazy success and strength through isolation, and Ryuuji is dangling a golden opportunity in front of his face by going to Haru in the moments where he’s most vulnerable and saying “yes, that strength you crave is possible for you, but only if you pay this specific price for it.” Nobody should bear the weight of “saving” Haru from his circumstances (especially not his friends on their own journeys… Ryuuji and other mentors watching this trainwreck can eat my shorts tho), but dealing with this ultimatum while his core support group is pushing forward through their own challenges and/or busy in another country, I can’t be too surprised when he starts to overextend himself and burst at the seams.

As far as the blow-up with Rin, I won’t say it’s fully justified, but it’s understandable. The way Haru has had to make peace with his hardships with Ikuya and Rin has largely been by atoning for his own involvement in those rifts and trying to turn over a new leaf without expecting much in return. He took the opportunities of swimming with both of them again to replace any apologies on their parts and largely made peace with it. As much as it’s going to hurt to watch, I’m interested to see this fight play out because it sounds like it addresses a problem we bring up a lot in meta analyses posts: there needs to be more explicit conversations and apologies between characters, or the closure feels flimsy and temporary at best. This fight isn’t about closure (it’s about a lot of things both involving and excluding Rin, but I ranted about that in the other spoiler post) but it’s acknowledgement after all of this time that there’s still a need for it. Having Rin back in his life as a rival and friend has held the caveat in the back of his mind that Rin will leave his side again if Haru’s friendship/rivalry stops serving all of his interests. Haru’s ultimate fear of being abandoned by people, of people using him without understanding him and then throwing him aside for someone/something else, is drastically coming back to the surface in all of his stress. Rin and Ikuya choosing to continue their pro careers with strokes that better suit their strengths isn’t abandonment, just like Makoto choosing a university in Tokyo wasn’t, but Haru is so lost in his own stress and despair that he can’t see these choices as anything but personal attacks in the moment. These choices don’t have to do with Haru and we’re never meant to hurt him (which he comes to realize by the end of each fight), but the unresolved issues mixed with his fears make him explode.

It’s not a black and white situation where only one side is in the right, and I hope whatever resolution comes in the second movie acknowledges that. Rin didn’t deserve Haru’s taunting and wrath in that moment, but I do want him to reflect on the whole mess and recognize that Haru’s in a desperate place not unlike the one he was in when he first went to Australia and seemingly cut everyone off. I want them both to consider that avoiding airing out those insecurities because it’d be uncomfortable or embarrassing ultimately led them back here, unsure how to talk about changes and concerns without first having one of them explode or hit rock bottom. They can be friends outside of swimming, I’d want them to be friends outside of swimming, but I think Haru isn’t blind to how much of their connection is reliant on intrigue in the water, and a part of him is scared that Rin won’t have a reason to stick around if they aren’t rivaling each other in the same stroke anymore.

All of this can make for a great chance of resolution in the second movie, if done well. There’s opportunity for Haru to realize that the trajectory of dreams can change, and just like Rin changing his stroke or Makoto changing his training emphasis, you can honor the parts of the dream that first inspired you while finding a path that honors the person you’ve become. There’s opportunity for Haru to break from the dangerous echo chamber he’s currently in telling him he has to do this all alone in a few ways. Maybe he’ll have a moment where he’s like “I gave up everything and still couldn’t get stronger, so now I need to get back to finding what gives me strength personally.” Maybe he’ll have a moment where he’s like “if my only option is a path paved in loneliness, I need to find a new dream.” There are so many directions the story can go in at this point, and I’m excited to see what happens next (and maybe write about the paths they don’t choose lol).

[project-ohagi]

Keigo Takami ღ Hawks {Omegaverse AU}

Buy me a coffee!! <3

Fantastical visions of the future were few and far between - the hectic nature of professional heroism always managed to choke the life out of other, more selfish pursuits. Romance is considered within this category, for it seems to benefit none but those whose involvement is direct. Finding a mate under such conditions becomes an endeavour worthy of Hercules himself. The pain and fatigue were discouraging, and no-one kindled his interest - not even remotely.

Yet, instincts and unbearable yearning dictated his Omega's flight pattern. Although his heat wasn't in-bound, his heart refused to beat alone. To the contrary, its canary-song extended both encouragement and guidance to the love-lost and wandering Keigo: "In aeternum, find your forever."

Forever, huh? Who'd be willing to spend the rest of their life with me? Bet I seem a tad too cocky for an Omega, being the Number Two and all that. What does 'forever' even mean? I could do forever, without a doubt, but...who'd do it with me?

Naivety glimmered behind his eyes, as he contemplated 'forever'. What were his requirements for an Alpha? How could an equipoise be bridged between work and domestic life? Which mask would he choose if...if 'forever' remained elusive? Keigo's prior method of coping was simple, but effective: KFC and cry. While ultimately refreshing, in the moment, death always seemed sweeter. It never advanced into a viable option, but a dramatic flair was par for the course.

"-and that's the courting process of a Red-Tailed Hawk!"

Keigo's over-investment in daydreams and quandaries had apparently immunised him from any outside force, until that very moment. Sparing a glance toward the ground, he recognised the familiar figures of humans and...hawks?? Wait...there were falcons, too.

So many birds of prey...and they're all so well behaved. That woman...is she a Falconer? The Omega nestled within Keigo's soul soared at the mere thought. ...Is she an Alpha?

Little cooperation could be plucked from his mind, which knew wisdom from folly. However, despite its best adjudication, Keigo and his Omega (at this point, almost assumed to be two separate entities) decided against rhyme or reason. After all, if a bird squawks at you for submission, squawk louder to assert dominance. That tactic was flawless. Keigo puffed out his wings, swooping ever-lower, praying for even an ounce of attention. He received far more. At the instant of his descent from the heavens, the birds alerted you. Every syllable rolling from your tongue became jumbled, a crimson hue paining the canvas of your cheeks. This man...celestial, god-born...he was no stranger to your heart.

"Is that Hawks??" One of your students yelled, excitably. "What's he doing here?? We're nowhere near Fukuoka!"

"He does have wings, idiot." The venom-laced retort went unchecked - you were busy ogling those symbols of beauty and strength.

Subtlety wasn't an art you had perfected, but where was the consequence? Keigo certainly relished the experience, finding comfort in every sweep of your eyes, every compliment and feather-light touch. Had you asked permission? No. Did he care? Did he fuck. The opportunity for a congenial introduction had passed, and if honesty took the reins, How in the Fresh Prince of Hell do I approach this? KFC won't solve every dilemma. Think, Keigo! What would the Colonel do? How would he weasel his Kentucky fried ass out of this? Not like...I need her to like me, obviously, but I need to say something! She could be my forever...

Unfortunately, your avian protectors (whom Keigo had ignored and then forgot existed) deliberated among themselves for all of two seconds, settling on a guilty verdict and sentencing him to death. His crime? Fuck knows, who cares? Their shrill cries and fiercely-beating wings sliced through the mirage of tranquillity.

You sighed. "Hestia, Rhea, inside voices please. Juno, Asmodeus, you aren't menacing, so stop pretending to be. Why don't you greet him, rather than saying all that nasty stuff, hmm?"

"You can understand them?" Incredulity punctuated his words - how fortune must finally be favouring him.

The birds were indignant, but eventually resigned. Just one of hopefully many triumphs for Keigo.

"Yes, that's my quirk. It's confined to birds though, so not particularly useful." You smiled, failing to notice your students silently slipping away. "Oh, and eh...sorry. I didn't ask before touching you. Your wings are just gorgeous."

"Haha, nothing wrong with that. You've got good instincts." He mused, feeling his cleverly-constructed character melt away, bit by bit.

Strident melodies and the giggling of tiny cherubs played games with his ears. "About that...are you an Omega, by any chance? The news always says you're a Beta, but you don't have that scent."

"I am." He was too eager and willing to provide such information.

"You're an Alpha?"

Do you wanna get married? No...I can't ask that. That's beyond stupid.

You nodded. "Yeah, both my parents are Alphas, so it was practically a guarantee. Don't mind the birds," You added, after noting a sudden stare-down between Keigo and Asmodeus. "they're...flighty."

"That one hates me, for sure." He huffed.

"He hates everyone, especially the people who get my attention. And...most male birds. He doesn't get to decide how I spend my time though, despite his best efforts." The gentle caress you afforded Asmodeus sent envious, yet calming whispers to his heart.

She'd be good with kids. Can I...can I make this work? Am I allowed to...? She's looking at me the same way I'm looking at her...

Was he a hostage, or a voluntary captive? What did it even matter? If this happiness, so pure and unbridled, was a vice, then hurry and cast him to the depths of Hell.

In aeternum...I think I've found forever.

[Word Count: 946]

[nct-oli]

I also miss atots! I wanna read your ramblings so may I ask what are some of your head canon for phutian whether it’s during the series or post-series.

HI!! You’re so sweet. I am so sorry that I haven’t responded to this sooner! Life got really hectic, and it honestly kind of stole my creativity, to the point where I read this back when you sent it, but I could not think of a single headcanon at all.

But I’m here and I’m going to finally talk about some because I rewatched ATOTS with a friend and it sparked some headcanons in the process!!

1) This is probably my biggest headcanon. Phupha and Tian wrote emails to each other during their two years apart. I’ve seen some people say letters, and of course letters are super cute and classically romantic. Plus they are fitting given that’s how Tian was communicating with Phupha when he returned to Bangkok. But the reasons I like emails for them are:

Getting letters domestically to a rural village is one thing, but getting them internationally without some of them getting lost feels a bit less likely. And I think Tian and Phupha would know that. So emails are a more consistent and reliable form of communication.

Obviously Phupha can’t access the internet from the village, but you know who does have internet? Dr. Nam. I very much love the idea of Phupha strolling into the clinic every so often trying to be all cool and not at all giddy to check for a new email from Tian, and Dr. Nam never, ever letting him use the computer without a lot of proud best friend teasing. Remember when Phupha went to Dr. Nam to ask what a scar on the chest would mean? Yes, just like that, except regularly. (And when Phupha doesn’t go to Dr. Nam’s clinic, he could go to town to check his email too.)

This part doesn’t really fit the canon storyline at all given Phupha was still gazing at the only photo he had taken of Tian two whole years after taking it and also Phupha never told the children where Tian was. BUT think of the photos they could send each other. Tian sending photos of himself in various places in the US, his hand with Phupha’s ring always visible so Phupha can be there with him for every adventure. Phupha sending photos of the kids as they grow, the tea sachet business (or whatever the villagers end up doing with Mr. Sakda gone), the very rare selfie by a rather self-conscious chief... sending physical letters limits the number of printed photos they could send each other. Plus printing photos may be a bit easier for Tian, given he can just print them at a nearby Walgreens or something, or even have them ordered online. But that would be tougher for Phupha, needing to leave the village and find somewhere. So emailing photos back and forth would be easier.

Imagine Tian printing every email sent back and forth and collecting them. Imagine him in the library with the biggest smile on his face, printing out emails to and from his mountain boyfriend back in Thailand and his university friends watching him with the most confused but intrigued eyes. I love it. I love that idea.

I remember there being discussion post-finale about whether Tian and Phupha communicated in that time at all. The discussion revolves especially around how at ease they seemed in their Pha Pun Dao cliff reunion and they didn’t quite act as though they had been fully apart for two whole years. And I fullheartedly believe they had contact, even if very infrequent. I think they found a way. And while I do think letters are incredibly romantic and fitting, I just have this fondness to emails. Maybe it’s a result of watching We Best Love recently. I’m not sure.

2) Tian chose to go to the US ultimately on his own. Now, we all know his mother is the one who picked the university for him and “sent him away.” But I do like the idea that, after coming to terms with the fact that maybe running away to Pha Pun Dao immediately wasn’t the best plan, especially if Phupha wanted to forget him, he grew to like the idea of going abroad. It would be his chance to have probably as much freedom as he could get. He wanted to go to the US before he died (episode 3 conversation with Tul). He could take time to himself, without the influence of anyone else, and figure out just what he wanted for his life. And when Phupha showed up at the airport and they got their true feelings out in the open, Tian didn’t feel like his family was pushing him away from the man he loved and the life he wanted; he felt that he had agency in choosing the US and asking Phupha to wait for him, to give him the chance to figure out this new chapter first. I find comfort believing Tian didn’t board that plane feeling resentful but instead feeling hopeful. And when he returned, he wasn’t filled with regrets. He was filled with excitement that he was returning home to Pha Pun Dao and Phupha right on time. (Plus Phupha had more confidence when Tian returned to him that he truly wanted to be there in the village with him, because despite literally traveling the world and seeing so many options available to him for places to build his future, Tian still chose Pha Pun Dao.)

3) The teacher’s house remains Tian’s home too. Hear me out: I don’t mean full time. I’m obviously a massive softie for domestic PhuTian, so I want him to still stay with Phupha. And Phupha probably can’t leave the base permanently, as he’s the chief and needs to be there regularly for his rangers, so the two of them can’t move into the teacher’s house fully either. But Phupha’s room is quite small. I love the idea that Tian still escapes sometimes out to the teacher’s house where it’s quiet and he can still have his own space. A space to lesson plan, to take the students when they need a new environment, to feel connected to his three original months in the village when he fell in love with the people and his person (Phupha). That house was his home, and while Phupha’s place is now also his home, I like the idea that Tian still keeps that house for himself too. At least so long as it isn’t needed by anyone else. (Also, if Phupha and Tian need space, well, there’s no Yod out there to start knocking.)

4) This semi-connects to the last one. When Tian and Phupha finally get married, they have a ceremony in the village and Tian convinces Tul to stay a night in Pha Pun Dao. His parents come to the wedding too, but they stay in a hotel in the city, where Tul stays some nights except for the night Tian gets him to stay with him. Tian and Tul stay in the teacher’s house, and Tian tells him all about his many nights sleeping there. Tul is, well, not convinced of its appeal at first, but watching Tian share his stories with the brightest smile, he decides he can warm up to it a little bit. And after seeing Tian with Phupha, with the kids, and with the rest of the village, and finally understanding how perfectly Tian fits in Pha Pun Dao, it starts to make sense to him why some of the luxuries don’t matter to Tian anymore... will Tul himself ever move to a rural village like that? Absolutely not. He’s not convinced that much. But the joy that village life brings his best friend and the glow he exhibits is enough to leave Tul content for one night on a hard mattress inside a mosquito net in the middle of seemingly nowhere. (No but really, imagine the chaos of Tul trying to live in Pha Pun Dao for a night. I want to watch that so much.)

5) Okay, I hope the couple that got married have a child and that child goes to school under Tian’s teaching. Or someone else in the village has a child. Imagine Tian getting a new student and having to navigate a classroom with early teenagers and a tiny kid. (Headcanon within a headcanon: Tian did a LOT of research during his two years abroad specifically on multi-aged classrooms because he knew he wanted to return to Pha Pun Dao one day and would need the skills.)

6) Longtae and Tian most definitely go on that trip across the border that Longtae wanted (just a couple years late). And they have the best time. Longtae tells Tian about any new stories from university. Tian shares stories about his students and tries not to talk about Phupha too much but occasionally can’t help it, to which Longtae smiles brightly like the cute bestie he is. And the two of them get the CUTEST photos that Longtae prints for Tian immediately when he gets back to the city.

All of these headcanons are for those two years away or after he returns. I’m trying to think of some headcanons for the show prior to ep 10 part 4/4...

6) OH this doesn’t necessarily have to be before ep 10 part 4/4 in the timeline, but Phupha and the rangers apologize to Tian and the villagers for not telling them about Torfun’s death sooner and that burden being left for Tian to carry instead. I just want that settled.

7) HERE’S ONE FOR WITHIN THE SERIES TIMELINE. At the wedding in episode 4, Phupha didn’t deny it when Dr. Nam called Tian Phupha’s guy. So yes, of course Dr. Nam started calling Tian that all of the time, to which Phupha did eventually argue against but he secretly liked hearing it. His guy.

8) I’m back to going outside of the timeline again... all of my headcanons are for after the series it seems. Oops. But Tian most definitely brought the kite to Pha Pun Dao with him, and it hangs very proudly on the wall in their room. Tian tells Phupha about how he had it flying back at his family house in Bangkok, how seeing it blow in the wind brought him comfort when he felt homesick for the village and for Phupha. That knowledge had Phupha smiling for the rest of the week.

I’m running out of ideas. I kind of wanted to hit ten, but I just don’t have ten headcanons off the top of my head. BUT if I think of anymore, I’m sure I’ll post about them somewhere. Maybe I’ll even write a ficlet about some of these... I used to write those here and there, way back when... we’ll see.

Thank you again for your message, anon! You are a wonderful human. I’m sorry for taking so long to respond, but I didn’t forget about your message or ignore it. I just couldn’t get my brain to give me anything to respond with! I hope my rambling was sufficient for you. <3

(Also man, I miss writing about ATOTS so ridiculously much. This felt so familiar and also kind of sad. Phupha, Tian, villagers... come back to us. I miss you.)

[blackfemmecharacterdependency]

BFCD Reviews by Nesha: Final Space, Season 3

Everybody that know me know that I’m high class #Quillective trash and my main thoughts and feelings go out to Quinn Ergon and Gary Goodspeed - precious Gemini gems, and of course the BABIES: Little Cato, Ash and Fox #NeshaLuhDaKids I had some attachment to Avocato once upon a time, but that n***a got on my LAST nerves this season, so we currently at “Do you, Boo” status by the end of S3, and eventually, yes, I’ma get to why that is. 

Disclaimer for somebody who stumbled across this post because of the fandom tags - I am an independent partaker of this content, not “part of the fandom,” and my audience in particular is NOT for everybody. SO: If you may have been criticized in the past for casual racism, tone deafness to Black women’s concerns or accused of misogynoir or antiblackness, leave now. 

If you don’t like cussing, AAVE, general ratchetness and mean lesbian energy, you too might wanna go. A bitch can be eloquent, but I type like I talk, at times, so it is what it is and I don’t curate for kids, dudes, or nonblacks. That’s just what that is.

I wanna start with Ash Graven. This season is about Ash more than anybody else, despite the fact that there was a lot of emphasis on Avocato’s toxic ass man pain and growth in Quinn and Gary’s relationship, ULTIMATELY, nobody in the crew did more coming into fruition as Ash did, and I have a lot to say about her, because I have a lot of feelings.

♡ Ash Graven

1. Ash is a kid. Lol. Everybody got very confused because of the unnecessary transformation that Invictus gave her. Ash did not “grow up,” her body was altered. That’s a fuckin kid in a woman’s body. A kid who has previously been living with survivor’s guilt, parental abuse/neglect/exploitation, chronic trauma, and a disastrous superpower that most people could not be trusted to carry. She’s a child having a coming of age moment in this season that is mostly molded in manipulation. If you hate on Ash, go fuck yourself. ESPECIALLY if I’ve caught you stanning other characters who have been shit characters, in this fandom or not. Ash was dealt a shit hand and nobody had her back but her brothers, and she’s done what she could and thought was best to care for them. Anybody that missed that - just don’t have kids, K.

2. Ash has no parental guidance. As far as she knows, the only adults who have ever had her back are dead and the ones that she’s stuck with now, she GAVE a chance to try to trust them. She gave Quinn a chance to try to see some of Nightfall (the only adult that we’ve seen not exploit her) in her. She gave Gary a chance by choosing him over Clarence, when she had to make a choice. She even gave Clarence’s ass another chance - with which he responded by dying to not fail her. Now, she has Gary, who just a few days or weeks ago, idek, forced her to try to summon her powers while she was both injured and also upset over having to leave her brother behind - TO SAVE HIS GIRLFRIEND! And she got snatched away in the process and left behind with the enemy, to be mentally assaulted and returned changed, only to have them not trust her.

I love Quinn too. I love her dearly. But the facts were that she was dying and having an episode that nobody could really help with, and Gary didn’t take the time or consideration to think about the stress that he was putting on Ash by putting her in the position to make her feel like she needed to save Quinn for him. Whether or not she was the only one who could, that is a lot to put on a child, and not only did he do it, but he didn’t even seem to think that hard about it whenever he then left her ass. Sure, he was glad when she was returned, but that was a fucked up situation that yet another adult put her into, and the first thing that he should have wanted to do when seeing her was to apologize and try to make it right. It was a huge miscalculation to treat her as a potential enemy that he and Avocato needed to vet. EVEN IF that’s what she was to them, both of them should have had the sense to assess while still treating her as the kid that they supposedly knew.

3. Most of her trauma has been recent and continuous. She looked up to Nightfall, watched her die, and had a meltdown. The events from Season 2 (with Clarence almost killing Fox and leaving him to die, her leaving his side to help out, seeing that Sheryl was treacherous to her own son, losing Nightfall), and the events that are taking place in Season 3 are only in the span of a few months.

They were only stranded for a month whenever we see them surviving together. That girl has had more happen to her to hurt her than to help her and nobody around her BUT Little Cato has been sensitive to that. And they are all fucking adults.

These things being noted - changing Ash’s design was the absolute worse fucking thing. Aging a girl up to make the bad things that follow more palatable is what that seems to be. Ash is still a kid. And THEN, they allegedly made her a queer kid. I say allegedly, because that “reveal” was so poorly done and subtle and weak that I, an almost 40 year old queer, didn’t realize that that’s what they meant whenever they said that they were gonna reveal somebody as a character who is part of the LGBT community.

So... FS production just gon’ decide not only to transform her body into that of a woman, when her mind is still full on traumatized child and hormonal teenager, but also, she likes girls, and they didn’t even do it in a cohesive way that added to the story. They threw it in, like, “BTW, she likes girls, and also, she’s full grown now.” then immediately went for the “Villain” lever, and bitches just ate that shit up. Fuck y’all, forreal. 

& Fox

He didn’t deserve that shit. And, I know a lot of people felt that he was pointless and boring, but his ass was sweet and caring and searching for love and acceptance. As a background character, I liked him. But, he was literally just fodder for Ash’s downfall, which was unfair and problematic, considering that his ass is definitely Black coded. Don’t play. He was voiced by a Black man, spoke with a blaccent, and definitely would be read as Black if you wasn’t looking at him and seeing an alien. They gave him a sacrificial negro trope, the big friendly negro that can kill you but loves everybody trope, and they used his death to just push some narrative forward to set up the one verified queer character as a villain. They got they ass in a vehicle and rolled right over another Black character, and another queer character. Chile...

 ♡ Little Cato!!!

My precious have not been getting some good for too long, and I have had it. He’s not focused on so much this season as he is in the background of other people’s stories, but a very important takeaway is and will always be that Little Cato, aside from Fox, really was the only one here who consistently treated her like she mattered, so it made a lot of sense that he could be the catalyst for her finally having ENOUGH with these people.

I really wish that he could have found out the truth about his past from Avocato, because that’s really who OWED him that truth, but Ash did the thing that I’d expect and told him, to be honest with him. She even told him that Avocato wanted to tell him and that she took that right away from him, because she didn’t believe he deserved it, and I’m respecting her for that, too. I wish she could see how much it hurt Little Cato for her to try to take him away from his home. 

Little Cato has lived before, for a while, and he’s not mature enough to behave as a man, but he at least has a loving foundation to draw from, and having had that support, this is more of his home than it is Ash’s. He doesn’t know how to explain that to her, and she doesn’t know how to understand that for him. Just a tragic situation for two kids with a lot of problems.

♡ Quinn Ergon & Gary Goodspeed

Quinnary notes that might not be featured in the BFCD Reviews by Nesha:  (Quinn Ergon/Nightfall x Gary Goodspeed) rundown - 

I've had two favorite parts of this season so far and they're very mediocre things that you wouldn't think would be like my favorite part but they are. One of them was that the first thing Gary does when she wakes up is to ask her about her sister (someone obviously very important to her who he's previously promised to allow to let live through Quinn's memory and says he wants to hear about her when he's trying to keep Quinn from dying). Because... He really did care and wasn't just saying something to keep her.

Quinn's mother fucked her up in a way that is so frustrating because Black mamas really will traumatize you about their younger kids. That shit hurt. You showed your daughter dead bodies to make her think about that in the event that your other daughter might be in battle? Bitch wtf

Whenever we say that Black girls are programmed to put everybody ahead of us, that's unfortunately not just including Society, it's in households too. And Quinn comes from this place where that is her reality... Then she meets Gary and he doesn't even register for her as anything special. He doesn't appear impressive or incredible in any way... But he (admittedly) weirdly locks on to her and shares himself - thinking that he's showing himself to her, and ultimately he DOES. And he wants to see her too, beyond all this, who she is, at her most humane. He wants to know about her sister. About someone who mattered to her enough to have the helm of her trauma when she was out of touch with reality. Very soft. Very sweet.

The other was when they were talking about how they met and stuff and Gary absolutely cringed thinking about how corny he was when he approached this woman. A lot of dudes never do that. The complaint of earlier seasons that Gary was overbearing, obsessive and creepy , if you missed the fact that he has terrible abandonment issues from his father’s death and his mother’s rejection, here we have him, in his adult state, looking back at the way he was and being embarrassed about it, and that’s growth!

A close third is whenever at the beginning of the Season he says "Quinn it's been a month eventually you have to open up to me about what you've been through" and she says "I will in time" and he respects it but he reiterates that he's there whenever she needs him. I don't think that people realize how revolutionary that kind of statement is especially for a character like Quinn to hear - who has always felt like she had to take charge, had to take the lead, had to make the sacrifice.

Even when she realized that she was dying, she didn't want to burden him with the information. Not even like ‘a thing that she knew if that could help prevent it and she didn't want him to have to go after it,’ but... she didn't even want him to have to deal with knowing about it!

Maybe she thought that she would just drop, maybe she didn't realize that he was going to have to see her in that condition. And then once she realized that he was going to have to see her in that condition one of the first things she says is "I should have told you." Girl is on her deathbed wishing she had done it differently, for Gary's benefit.

I saw somebody on Twitter tried to come for her about not going to Gary after he killed Fox (you know, shortly after her surgery to save her from the very brink of death, and listen... Quinn comes to see about Gary when she can. She’s done it several times. In fact, I’ma make a whole POST about Quinn and Gary moments SPECIFICALLY to point out to haters in the main tag - where they got Quinn Ergon, and by extension, me, FUCKED UP.

Stop Playing in Quinn Face

HI! HELLO. ACTUALLY MY FAVORITE PART OF THIS SEASON IS THAT QUINN AND GARY JUST FUCKED. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. THANKS. OK. Back 2 bidness

See.. after Gary and Quinn got over the humps of Quinn’s Final Space poisoning... everyone got it... nobody told her until Avocato was mad and told her during a lash out, and let me say something about Avocato’s fucking audacity this season... 

♡ Avocato (Note: His name is A-V-O-C-A-T-O. Some of y’all be tryna stan and y’all can’t even spell his name.)

I done seent Avacata, Avocata... That’s not that dude name. Be writing whole ass expositions about some other Ventrexian n*gga. Hope this helps:

AVOCATO. Listen, boy. YOU decided to be a traitor to your people and your king and queen. YOU decided to dedicate your cause to the Lord Commander and lied to your son his entire life about killing his parents, raising him, and never talking to him about it.

Yet and STILL - whenever you had the chance to finally tell him, you ain’t do the shit. Lord Commander gave you the perfect ass opportunity - WHEN IT CAME UP, and even then, with that boy looking you dead in the face and being glad that now he knows everything... you ain’t Ventrexian man up.

Then, whenever you were supposed to be checking on Gary after his traumatic murder fight with Fox and Invictus, you turned it around and literally made it about you. attacking him in the process and only after a physical fight did you apologize. (And y’all still didn’t get back to what had happened to Gary, which was no real fault of his own). 

Fast forward to after you willingly agreed to stay behind and fight and y’all lost. Now, it was Quinn’s turn to be the center of your blame and you lashed out at her because everybody is dying, despite the fact that y’all agreed to stay behind and fight, nobody even told her that y’all were sick, AND you still wasn’t 100 with Little Cato. 

You just had a lot of mothafuckin audacity this season, Avocato, and I personally was not here for the shit. Even when Ash blasted yo ass, your main thought was to threaten to kill her if she took Little Cato, instead of assuring her that despite what you’ve done, Little Cato was safe with you. No, she wouldn’t have listened to you. But, the words you chose tell us about who you are and how you are. You a war mongering killer that don’t ever take responsibility for his shit, and even in those brief moments that you do, its always somebody else’s problem. 

I’da thunk that LC getting snatched away would be humbling for you, but I guess you were chosen by the writers for minimal growth. Bye, Avocato. Witcha bitch ass. We is not cool right now, but you do you. Hope you find some growth up there in ya ass, where ya head been. 😁 Can’t believe I mourned yo ass. You coulda stayed dead as hell.

FINALE NOTES:

OK BITCH OK THIS FINALE WAS HYPE!

Let me pull it up so that I can liveblog it for the shit that I need to conclude this journey. 

We start out after Ash done took Little Cato and burnt off. Gary and AVOCATO done said they finna go get they son. Chile, I cannot handle Biskit voice. I like that lil’ dude but ya voice, Mane. I can’t with it. 

OK OK OK... Whenever Quinn comes up to Gary to talk to him and say potential goodbyes, she look like she wanna say some and that makes me think about whenever she looked like she wanted to say something in season 1 and didn’t. Quinn as grown a lot in her feelings for Gary, but she still has that hard time with talking about her feelings, but I love that you can see them in her face.

Chile... these folk was kinda taking they time gettin started, huh? Knuckas, do y’all remember that everybody finna die of FS poisoning? Lol. Also... why didn’t they start hallucinating and shit? I guess its not until it covers ya face? 

NIGHTFALL. 😥 I love you, Sis. I miss you. But, “Because I’m you and WE think of everything...” YES. I HAVE BEEN SAYING THAT! EVERYBODY EXPECTS QUINN TO THINK OF EVERYTHING AND WHENEVER THEY DON’T THINK OF THE THINGS, SHE GETS BLAMED FOR MAKING THE TOUGH DECISIONS THAT NOBODY ELSE COULD EVEN MAKE. Underappreciated, really. And people still mark Nightfall as a villain, despite the fact that she not only sacrificed herself, but also came specifically to help another Gary. Sidenote - Nightfall didn’t actually pursuit Quinn’s Gary until Quinn was trapped in Final Space and she thought she got a signal from him. So, I’m still salty AF that she been labelled as a villain just because people don’t like her, when her actions have all been to try to help. Here is no difference. She thought of the things that she didn’t think a younger version of her would think of, and left it for Quinn to find. Nightfall be on RNS, and most of y’all didn’t deserve her.

Quinn’s identity crisis is so sad, but I liked that Nightfall EVEN thought about that. And Sheryl... you kinda starting to grow on me. I hate to give shitty mothers who find compassion in old chance a try, but she do seem to really be giving it a go. 

Ash is so fucked up that she rushes right into the devil’s arms. This reminds me of when trafficking victims go back to their abusers because they don’t have the resources to adjust in the system. 😪 She REALLY believes what she’s saying. She really feels like Little Cato is safer with Invictus with the Team Squad. That’s sad as fuck, bruh. 

THE. ACTING. AND. ARTWORK. IN. THIS. CONFRONTATION. SCENE.

Avocato... I’m proud of you for FINALLY taking responsibility ad opening up about it. Little Cato’s reaction is precisely how kids in the system are, as well. They wanna be at home with their parents, no matter who their parents are or what they’ve done. and Avocato meant what he said and did what I referred to earlier as “Ventraxian man up.”

“I’m sorry we failed you,” from Gary was so important. Because, they technically did fail her. Had Ash seen the same amount of love from Gary as she’s seen him give to others, she might have been more receptive to the truth and less susceptible to lies. But, as she had just said earlier, it was too late for kind words. She’s currently beyond accepting them from him. For a brief moment, it breaks through, but without that ability to know love from an adult properly, she can’t accept that apology right now.

H.U.E. with his big robot, Lord Commander...EYE. There’s so much happening right now bitch processing has left the room girl. Biskit did so damn much this episode. And it was good to see everybody on the team have a moment to help things, instead of like one person having to handle the bulk of things. 

Quinn’s begging voice... its such a contrast from whenever she sent out the SOS in season 1 and was afraid and angry. Like... the desperation here shows her softness. 

Ash’s RAGE Bitch...

Gary’s “I love you...” She looked so happy! And then she just sat with it. I feel like she definitely loves him too, but she doesn’t communicate that way. But, her FACE. She was just... did she think that he didn’t before, or was she just speechless because she didn’t expect to hear it? Because, we gotta be real... Sis probably has not ever heard those words from anybody before. And that first time, when it’s really there is a DOOZIE. She had an abusive mother, a seemingly jealous or competitive sister, and we saw how nobody in the Infinity Guard respected her ass when she was serving them the real. I think this is the first time she’s been in love or felt it and when Gary said it, she had to collect herself. The way she ran to him and jumped into his arms??? SHIPPING CRACK. And Mooncake was a part of their hug too. I have a lot of feelings about this dynamic since Quinn and Mooncake are the only characters that we’ve seen Gary have these “love at first sight” reactions to and Mooncake is the first character that I recall Quinn being nice to in S1. 

So.. my heart was very full when they ripped it from my chest moments later. Mooncake has been watching Team Squad members be self sacrificing for a little while now, and he loves his family and Gary so much that he rushes straight towards danger. (Sure, I don’t think that he estimated how powerful Ash could be at this moment), but he had to at least consider that he might be caught or left behind.

Bitch, Ash is GONE. She said, “Fuck all y’all!” Not knowing whether or not Mooncake is destroyed makes it very hard for me to know how much I can stand this, but I also want to hope that he is gonna survive. Quinn having to make the decision to lightfold is hella sad, but even though Gary is destroyed, he has to know that this is exactly how Ash must’ve felt whenever he had to make the call to leave Fox behind. She hated to do that to Gary. She even seemed more regretful about it than Gary did whenever he had to leave Fox and when he left Ash. Sure, its because she loves him more than he loved Fox and Ash, but its a terrible position to be in to have to hurt somebody you love like that. On the other hand, they gave her hella shit for them not escaping when could have the first time, so naturally, she was going to make this decision. 

It very much sucks that Invictus is free and my brain can’t eeem FATHOM what that means for everything and everybody, but the Final Space poisoning left the Team Squad’s system, so maybe there is a rejuvenation of some sort in Invictus’ power? Or does Final Space poisoning leave your system as soon as you leave Final Space? I don’t think that was clarified. 

Anyways, I still don’t hate Ash. Y’all can say whatever about it, but I see sad white boys get forgiven all day every day on this site, and I’m upset, but I’m not letting my baby go. I’m not cheering her on, but unless she dies, I’m gonna hope for the best for her, like I said here. 

DAMN this season was some shit. Ionknow if I’m emotionally capable of watching another season of Final Space in progress. If they make it back for another season, I will most likely just wait until the end to dive in and let them shock my senses all at once instead of on a weekly goddamn basis, because GODDAMN GODDAMN GODDDAMN!

@andromidagalaxie @daintyurbanprincess @shslargue @space-finally​  The Quinnary Moments Masterlist probably won’t be ready by Quinn’s birthday, since her birthday is the day before Juneteenth, but I’ve started on a little fic that I might have the first installment of posted by then. We shall see. 

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Here is my JOURNEY during my first watch of the first two seasons of the show. (I watched Season 3 in progress and waited until it was over to write up this review) and my probably incoherent tag of whenever I do me a lil’ liveblogging: Nesha Watches Final Space, and here is my review on Quinnary: BFCD Reviews by Nesha: (Quinn Ergon/Nightfall x Gary Goodspeed) FINAL SPACE

[eideticmemory]

EVER SINCE NEW YORK VIII | MATTHEW GRAY GUBLER

Description: I was messaged saying: “If you don’t write a young Matthew enemies to lovers fic featuring an obsession with sucking on boobs then what’s the point 😔.” So, here it is, folks! The ultimate College!Matthew fic.

PART 8! Read Part 7 here!

SOUNDTRACK:

Cry Baby - The Neighbourhood.

Past Lives - Børns.

The Few Things - JP Saxe.

Word Count: 2,832.

Rating: M.

Warning/Includes: Sexual intercourse, drinking, recreational drug use, a bit of angst.

Spring, Senior Year.

Los Angeles, 

California. 

“Not pregnant.”

You fell to your knees, grasping at the air in a fit of relief. You clutched your stomach and gasped for breath. 

“Not pregnant.” Claire repeated, looking at the second test. “Not pregnant.” 

“Fuck!” You shouted. “Thank God!”

Claire broke out into nervous laughter, “Not pregnant! You’re not pregnant!” She squealed. She dropped the tests and ran over to you, kneeling down to embrace you. 

You held each other in a deep hug for a long time. You missed her. You missed her so much. She was your rock. You once thought that when things were going to shit, you wanted Matthew. 

But who you needed was Claire. 

“I’m sorry.” You whispered to her. 

“You’re sorry? I’m sorry!”

“I was stupid.”

“I was more stupid!”

“I love you, Claire,” you told her. 

“Aw,” she smiled. “I can’t even say...how much...”

“I know,” you nodded. “I know.”

You didn’t go back to Matthew’s. You threw those terrible tests in the trash, scheduled an appointment at the student health center, and subsequently spent all day with your best friend. You spilled your guts. Told her the full Matthew story from beginning to end. It was like a rush of information, a physical rush of word after word after word. And Claire just listened. She chomped down on some twizzlers, dressed in her pajamas, drowning out the movie on in the background. She didn’t speak a word until you were completely finished. 

“Pass the oreos,” she said.

“That’s it?” You laughed. “I tell you all of that and all you say is pass the oreos?”

“I need oreos to properly digest all of this information, duh.” 

You handed her the blue package, which she gladly took and ripped open. Oreo in hand, a little caught between her teeth, she said, “If he hurts you, I’ll kill him.”

“I know. He knows.”

“I mean it, kid,” she looked you in the eye. “Matthew and I...we just fooled around. You guys passed fooling around a long time ago.”

“I guess...” you shrugged. 

“You guess? [y/n], I know you better than anyone. There’s never been a guy like this. Why...why aren’t you dating?”

You gulped, “Oh.” You looked down at your fingers, “Neither of us ever brought it up. It’s just...too messy. Don’t wanna deal with it. It’s fine.”

“So, you don’t wanna be his girlfriend?”

“I—“ you were cut off by the sound of your phone ringing against the couch. You picked it up to see Matthew’s name flashing on the screen. You declined the call.

Claire watched you set your phone back down, and you recognized the somber look on your face. “Well?” She continued. “Do you?”

After that, you simply refused to continue any kind of Matthew conversation. Claire noticed your sudden urge to keep quiet, and she pulled back on all the questions. 

“So,” you said. “What about you? Seeing anyone?”

She cleared her throat, awkwardly shuffling in her seat.

“I’ll take that as a yes!” You giggled. “Who is it? What’s his name?”

You sighed, “I’ve been meaning to tell you...but you can’t tell anyone, okay? Especially Matthew!”

You put up your hand, palm facing her. “You have my word. Who is it?”

“Roni.”

You sat back against the couch, physically moved by shock. “R-did I hear you right?”

Claire nodded, “Veronica.” 

“Um...yeah...I’m gonna need you to explain.”

She chuckled nervously, “There’s nothing really to explain. Um, we were drunk...and...you were out with Matthew, and I brought her back here. It—it was a total fling. Until...it wasn’t.”

“Holy shit, Claire!” You exclaimed. 

“I know! But, Veronica, she’s so cool. She’s so hot. She likes classic films, and—and she makes jewelry, and...I don’t know, I like her.”

You smiled at Claire, “I can tell.”

“Y’know, her and I are going to LA this spring break. You should come! You and Matthew!”

You cringed, “I don’t know...you want me to ask Matthew to come on a trip with three girls he’s fucked? Can you say awkward?” 

“Just ask him! We’ll invite more people to make it less awkward, and it’s not like we need to be a foursome the whole time. Just, ask. If he says no, he says no. But promise me you’ll ask?”

You sighed, “I promise.”

For the rest of the semester, you spent a very little amount of time with Matthew. Not only did the whole pregnancy scare shake you up, but you also had a lot of lost time to make up with Claire. She kept her distance from Veronica, as well. Both Matthew and her were very understanding, just taking it to means that the best friends needed some alone time. 

You spent winter break with Claire’s family, and came back with a new, restored friendship. She continued to ask if you’d invited Matthew to Los Angeles, and you always found subtle ways to say no. The trip was quickly approaching, but so was your final ballet performance. You channeled all your energy into practicing, perfecting, all while juggling class and Matthew. 

He brought you flowers on opening night, gave you a secret kiss in your dressing room, and told you to go kill it. You did. You put your soul into the performance, everything you had, everything you were. Until you were so tired that you could collapse on stage. Your ballet friends cheered you on as you exited the stage, and you stayed with them briefly before going into your dressing room. 

Beginning to take your makeup off, you heard a knock at the door. You expected Matthew, but your ballet instructor entered. “Oh. Hey! You happy?” You asked her, stepping up to give her a hug. 

“I’m very happy! You did amazing, [y/n], I’m so proud of you. Proud of everything you’ve accomplished here.”

“Thank you, Ms. Oak,” you whispered. 

“And I’m not the only one impressed by you.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yes...the dean of the department has had her eye on you for a while.”

You tilted your head, “Should I be nervous?”

“No, no, not at all. Actually, she wants to offer you a job.”

You looked at her, stunned, blinking slowly. “A job?”

“Yep. Assistant ballet instructor. It’s a paid position, you’d be working under me. And if you choose to accept, NYU will pay for you to attend their graduate school.”

You jaw dropped, “You’re telling me I take this job, I can attend the graduate film school for free?” 

“Yes, ma’am,” she nodded. “What do you think?”

“I—“ you stuttered. “What do I think? I think it’s amazing! Thank you so much!” You pulled her into an excited hug. “Um, when do I have to decide?” 

“You don’t have to decide until graduation. But, the sooner, the better.”

You nodded, “Okay. Okay, I’ll get back to you.”

The first person you told was Claire. She jumped up and down in your dressing room, squealing with you. “Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! [y/n], this is huge! This is huger than huge! We gotta celebrate. Go find Matthew, we’re going out for drinks.” 

The three of you went out to a bar, and Claire proposed a toast to you. “To our superstar, [y/n], the baddest bitch, the best ballerina, and soon to be assistant—“

“Hey, Matthew,” you interrupted her, turning to Matthew. “Do you want to go to Los Angeles this spring break?”

“LA?” he replied. 

“Yeah, Claire and I are going. We want you to come.” You nodded, cutting your eyes at Claire. She was eyeing you suspiciously. 

“Claire’s okay third wheeling? I mean, you and I kind of come as a package.”

“Well, Claire’s, uh, bringing a friend.” 

Matthew looked at Claire, his arm tight around you. “Really?” He said. “Nice. Do I know him?”

“Yeah,” Claire and you said at the same time. “You do.”

Claire slapped your shoulder once you two got home. “Ow!” You winced.

“Why didn’t you tell Matthew?” She snapped.

“Tell Matthew what?”

“Everything! About LA, Roni, your job offer?” 

You sighed, “I’m going to tell him. Just not tonight.”

Or the night after that. Or the night after that. Or the night after that. 

Matthew didn’t know about Roni until the four of you met at the airport. Awkward doesn’t begin to sum it up. Matthew and Veronica didn’t talk at all. They only acknowledged you, Claire, and other friends, never each other. You didn’t bother asking Matthew what was up, but Claire filled you in. The last split had been bad. It was easier on them now that Matthew and you were...whatever you were. And Claire and Veronica were doing their own thing.

The group of you walked around like typical tourists. It was your first time in California, and you loved every second of it. Matthew and you stuck together like peas in a pod. He showed you around, paid for your dinners, held your hand. He was a perfect gentleman.

Until he got you into bed. Then he was the same old, horny Matthew. He wore you out with a bunch of orgasms. First, sliding underneath the covers and eating you, gripping your thighs, humming against you. Then, he used his cock to fuck you until your legs turned to jello and you came twice. When he told you to get on all fours, you froze.

“Okay, dude,” you giggled. “You have never lasted this long. Ever. What was in your drink tonight?”

“Viagra,” he said simply.

“Yeah, right,” you rolled onto your stomach. When Matthew stayed silent, you turned your head to face him. “Wait. Deadass?”

He laughed, “Yeah, me and some of the guys bought some as a joke. But I took one and now the little guy won’t go down.” 

You glanced down at his rock hard dick, your jaw dropped. You shook your head at him, and placed yourself on all fours, arching your bed into the mattress. “You’re insane, Matthew Gray Gubler.” You giggled.

“Fuck, you didn’t have to say my whole name,” he laughed. He slapped your ass lightly and knelt behind you, lining himself up at your entrance. 

“Why not—ah!” You were cut off by the sensation of him pushing into you. “I—I like Matthew Gray Gubler. Good, strong name.”

“Yeah?” He bit down on his lip, taking long, slow strokes in and out of you. “I like the way you say it.”

“I like...when you pound me.” You whispered, a sly smile on your face. 

He said nothing, just slammed himself into you. Over and over, until you were trembling and gasping. “Fuck,” you huffed, biting down on the pillow. He watched you writh beneath him, held your hips as you pushed yourself back on his cock. Your bodies moved in perfect unison with one another, and it was so good for both of you, even Matthew viagra-boy Gubler was nearing his orgasm. 

He reached around and rubbed on your clit, making sure to keep up his rhythm. You held onto his wrist tightly, calling out his name and beginning to melt into the mattress. You eagerly pushed your ass back, trying to get him as deep inside of you as possible, and make yourself come. Matthew placed sloppy kisses between your shoulder blades. 

“Come on, princess, come on,” he whispered. 

You fell helpless against the bed, your toes curled, your mouth was wide open. He licked the sweat off of your skin and it sent you over the edge. Your pussy tightened around him, and his finished you off with one final thrust. He followed right behind you, finally releasing himself, loudly, into the condom.

Yes, condoms. They’re your new best friend. 

Matthew held you against his chest, the two of you entangled in a soft cuddle session. He kissed your forehead, “My dick’s still hard.” He told you.

You burst out laughing, “Oh, God. Dumb boy, silly boy.” 

“Hey, [y/n]?” He called. 

You looked up at him, “Yes?” 

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something, but I just want you to listen. Just hear me out.” 

You sat up, nervous already. “Yeah?”

He sighed, “Okay,” he whispered to himself. “Okay. When I went out with the guys, we obviously got y’know condoms, viagra—“

“The essentials,” you shrugged.

“Right. But we also went to this film expo. And we’re just walking around, looking for jobs and...this modeling agent walks up to me. Tells me I’m very handsome, duh, and that I, uh, should come work for them.” 

You tilted your head at him, a smug smile on your face. “Modeling, huh?”

“Yeah...yeah...it’s legit. And if I take it, it’ll finally be my chance.”

“Chance to what?” You asked.

“To move to LA.”

You sat back, shocked at his words. “Hey, hey, don’t freak out on me,” he said. “Because that’s not all.”

“Oh?” Your voice came out small, weak.

“Yeah...I, um...I—“ he stuttered. “I want you to come with me.”

Talk about a double shot. You sat in utter surprise, your mouth opened slightly, your body numb. “Come...with...you?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “Let’s just do it. After graduation, you and I, on a plane, going to live in Los Angeles. How does that sound?” 

You stared at him for a long time, “That...that sounds...perfect, actually.”

“But..?”

You shook your head, “No but...let’s do it.”

Matthew broke out into a huge, bright smile, “Holy shit! Really? Really?”

“Really.”

He tackled you onto the bed, both of you erupting into a fit of laughter and joy. “[y/n]...” he whispered.

You looked him in the eye, your thumb tracing his jaw. “Yeah?”

He stared at you, sighed, and leaned in to kiss you. Softly, gently, sweetly. “My dick’s still hard,” he mumbled.

You didn’t tell Claire until after spring break. It was an accident really. She caught you cruising LA apartments online, and you cracked. Spilled the truth.

“Are you...” Claire started. “Are you dumb?”

“I—“

“[y/n], you can’t move to LA with him. You will regret that shit. You’ll end up pregnant for real, he’ll leave, and you’ll be on your own.”

“Claire, what the fuck?”

“Well, it’s true! Matthew’s not even your boyfriend—“

“Stop!” You shouted. “I don’t want to argue! I don’t wanna fight with you! I love you, Claire! But I love Matthew, too, and I want to be with him!”

Holy shit. Did you just...you did. You said you loved Matthew. Out loud. And you meant every word. 

All of your attention left Claire, and you simply continued your apartment search. You spent that night at Matthew’s, cuddled up and showing him your favorite affordable places. It felt right. Real. Being in his arms, planning a future with him. 

Right. Real.

Claire swallowed her tongue a lot on the subject. She had her opinion, she made it clear. But she didn’t want to spend your last year together in a fight. So, you both ignored the situation. Even when you began to pack up your room. Even when Matthew sent you your plane ticket. Even when the future became painfully clear. 

You stuck together all of graduation day. You partied the night before, had a small movie marathon, and fell asleep on the couch. Your families harassed you two with cameras and orders and their sheer excitement bouncing everywhere. 

You did it.

After four long years, you had your degree. Holding it was everything you imagined and more. And as you wandered through the crowd, you came face to face with the best thing NYU had brought you: Matthew Gray Gubler. 

The two of you smiled at each other across the courtyard, and subsequently ran into each others arms. Matthew picked you up and spun you around in your cap and gown. 

“We did it!” He exclaimed. 

“We sure did, and fashionably, too!” You giggled. 

Matthew pulled you into a steamy kiss, one that nearly made you entirely weak in the knees. “Tomorrow morning,” he whispered, pressing his forehead against yours. “I will be in that airport, waiting for you.”

“I’ll be there,” you smiled. 

The next day, you woke up promptly at 7 o’clock in the morning. Your bags were packed, locked, and ready to go. So were you. You hopped up out of bed, dolled yourself up. You took one last look at the room you were leaving behind. And you left. 

You arrived at the airport at eight, after getting some breakfast and saying goodbye to a few friends. You saw the plane. 

You sat outside of the airport, on the bare grass, suitcases at your side. Tears rolled down your cheeks, and you saw the aircraft rise into the sky. And something in your stomach told you that he was on it. That, in another life, you would’ve been on it, too.

You sighed, followed by another slow breath.

“Goodbye, Matthew.” 

[barbecuebabybackribs]

Dating Rosalie Hale Would Include: (Male Reader)

It was a normal day for Rosalie

It felt like the millionth time she went to college, she couldn’t go to ivy league colleges every time- although she wished she could since now she was at an underfunded local college, she was just glad she didn’t need to suffer within the dorms which were- less then hygienic

She already had taken this course dozens of time so her mind was else where, that was until the smell hit her

Something so alluring, it almost drove her mad, suddenly an intense urge to go find something consumed her, she knew what this feeling was, she knew it was her mate- the stories the other told her about described this feeling- she was about to get up and follow it when the door creaked open.

She looked over and saw a young man walk into the room- he looked confused and somewhat embarrassed- it’s him, is all she thought.

Everything about her drew her in, she wanted to run up and embrace him that very second but she knew she couldn’t

She looked around the room, there were a few open chair around the room but most of them were around her- the other humans could instinctively tell something was off with her, that she was a predator even if they didn’t consciously know it- she prayed he would choose a seat next to her

As the younger boy gave a slip to the teacher and then made his way up the aisles to find a seat- they locked eyes for a moment.

Your entire face ran hot as you made eye contact with one of the most beautiful women you’d ever seen, she quite literally took your breath away

You saw nearly half the aisle she was in was empty.

You weren’t quite ballsy enough to sit right next to the beautiful girl in your class- this wasn’t some cheesy romance movie and you didn’t want to make it obvious

so you sat two chair away from her, your palms sweat slightly when she looked at you and smiled- something about her made you nervous but you still wanted to get to know her.

You spend the whole class trying your best to pay attention but being distracted by the fact that Rosalie keeps looking at you- looking strangely excited

Which was accurate, she was practically over the moon, you didn’t sit right next to her but you were close enough- for now.

She had been desperately searching for a mate for her entire life- even her human one.

She has so desperately wanted to be loved, she died because she trusted the wrong man with her love.

She just wanted to be held by someone she loved, to feel a loving embrace, to simply exist in the presence of someone who loves he unconditionally

That’s why she brought Emmett to Carlisle, she thought she finally found someone who would love her.

And Emmett did, but not the way she wanted. He loved her as a Sister, a Friend- but that wasn’t enough

She was so excited but also so terrified of messing up her one opportunity at love- she was ultimately going to leave it up to you whether or not you would date, she didn’t want to pressure you into anything because of how she felt.

So that’s how it went on for almost a week, casting a shy glance at Rosalie and meeting her sweet smile.

You laughed sometimes at how cold she looked whenever anyone else interacted with her but when you so much as looked at her she looked as if she couldn’t hurt a fly

You wanted to say hello but you were so terrified that you had misread the signs and she just wanted to be alone.

So you decided you would simply sit down in the seat next to her but not say anything- you’d leave that up to her

You nearly jumped out of your skin when she said hello.

You looked over and almost got lost in her strangely color honey eyes- they matched her hair, it was beautiful

“Hello!” You snapped out of it, “Uhm, I’m new, I don’t think we’ve ever actually talked.” You hadn’t that why you were so nervous and your heart was beating a mile a minute.

“I’m Rosalie,” She smiled, “And your Y/N, right?”

“Uhm yeah, how’d you know?”

“I heard you talking to the teacher once, don’t worry I’m not stalking you.” Which was true, she always looked down on how Edward would handle the situation with Bella, so she let you have your space

“Oh,” You said slightly embarrassed at how loud you must’ve been talking

“Well it’s nice meeting you Rosalie, we should talk more often, I don’t know many people around here.” You sucked in a nervous breath, almost dying on the spot when she didn’t respond immediately 

“Oh, I’d love that.” Her voice was soft but sweet

From that day forward you two would chat before and after class- about everything.

Simple things like what your favorite things were, what things you disliked, to more complicated things like family. You both could talk about anything and everything and even if you disagreed it was okay, you both accepted it.

You found yourself constantly getting lost in her voice as she told you about her life, her family, literally anything and you were in-captured

You started hanging out, outside of school

First place you went was your favorite cafe- which she was reluctant by but agreed. She ordered a cappuccino

“Rose, you don’t need to drink it if you don’t like it”

“I’m not much of a... coffee person.”

“Then why did you- you know what it’s okay.” You laughed

You decided to find things other then cafe’s to go to

You go to the movies

To parks and just talk, or to goof around

She takes you shopping when your one jacket get’s damaged and she learns you can’t afford a new one with your student loans and student housing debt

Girl wants to cry when she learns how crappy your dorm room is- constantly has leaks from the rain, loud obnoxious dormmates, light’s that constantly flicker and give you headaches.

She makes a vow to try and make your college experience as pleasant as possible.

After a month she finally asks you out

You choke on you drink but manage to wheeze out a yes as she pats your back

She takes you to a cafe- opts to not order anything- and then to the park where she planned a cute little picnic

She’s been planning this for decades and she’d be damned if she didn’t spoil the hell out of you

She ends up rambling about cars when you compliment hers.

Is so happy when you respond with your rudimentary knowledge of cars

She’s so elated the entire day

She drives you to your dorm.

“Are you sure you’ll be okay getting home, Rose? It’s after dark and I wouldn’t mind taking you home.”

“I’ll be fine Y/N... thank you for worrying.”

“Alright... just please be safe alright?”

“Same goes for you.”

There’s a moment of pause and you work up the courage to halfly do what you’d been wanting to all day.

You kiss her cheek

Then rush inside as you almost hyperventilate- was dating supposed to be this nerve-wracking?

You almost don’t go to class the next day

She’s smiling ear to ear when she see’s you

“So about last night-”

“Uh- sorry i should’ve asked- I don’t know what I was thinking, heh, I understand if-”

“No, I liked it.”

“oh”

You blush for the rest of the class

Practically skip back to the dorms

She texts you later that day and asks if you’d want to come to her house during the weekend

You agree although nervous to meet her family so soon

She picks you up in her convertible.

You both find out you have similar taste in music- you sing the songs with her and both laugh at how poorly the both of your singing was

When you pull up you gawk at her house

“Rose your rich.”

“Only slightly.”

“Women- you have a mansion and a convertible- I have a whole in the wall and not even a tire to roll in.”

She laughs and leads you inside

“Y/N!” You almost get tackled by a small pixie like girl,

“Alice!” Rosalie practically hissed yanking her off you

“Uhm- It’s okay? Hi?” You were confused but didn’t want to hurt anyones feelings by being mean

“Sorry, Rosalie.” The pixie girl giggled as a blonde man appeared behind her- are all these people like insanely attractive?

“Y/N! I’m so glad to meet you, I know we’ll be great friends! This is my husband Jasper!” She gestured to the blonde man who smiled stiffly at you.

“Well, Hi. It’s nice meeting you finally, Rose told me a lot about you guys.”

“All good thing I hope,” A kind woman looking in her mid twenties called out from across the room, “Alice why don’t you let Y/N take two steps in the door before you nearly tackle him to the ground.”

You have an awkward but pleasant meeting with everyone before Rosalie swiftly drags you to her room- obviously embarrassed.

“So your family is nice- little odd but nice.” You say when you enter her room.

“Don’t tell them that, it’ll go straight to their heads.”

You end up inspecting her entire room, lots of books on cars- but a lot of other things as well, Medical books, mathematical books, Shakespeare, scientific books and collectibles

“Uhm Rose?”

“Yes?”

“Are you... a genius?”

“No, but I am smart.”

“Rose, your rich, pretty, nice, smart- why the hell are you seeing me?”

You said it in a joking manor but when you looked over you could tell she was taking it very seriously

“Don’t ever say that Y/N.”

“I’m sorry- I didn’t know it’d upset you.”

“It’s okay- just please don’t joke about that sort of thing, your the only person I want to be with.” She breathed out before putting a smile on her face, “Anyways, What do ya wanna do?”

You end up spending the day talking and she shows you around the house, then shows you the cars she’s working on- You also talk to her family some more- Alice and Esme adore you, so do the others they’re just more quiet about it

You end up staying way later then intended,

“I should probably go back to the dorms, I’d hate to keep you guys up to late.”

“Ah right.” Rosalie said awkwardly, “You’re probably tired.”

“Slightly but considering I always stay up to finish paper I’m fiii- Oh no.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I HAVE A PAPER DUE TOMORROW AND I HAVEN’T EVEN STARTED- I GOTTA GO.” You said practically sprinting out the house,

“Y/N- I drove you here!”

You turn around and grab her hand- not even thinking about being embarrassed- “We have to go!” You announced, hurrying out of the house.

You end up speeding home with her and she spends the night helping you with the paper- finding it cute how stressed you got over a relatively easy paper

She ends up spending the night- your dorm mates don’t mind since they’ve had done much more inappropriate things with women while you were in the room then sleep

Rosalie ends up pretending to sleep until you fall asleep, loving it when you- while still asleep- throw an arm around her and cuddle up to her

“I’m really glad I met you.” She said softly letting you sleep in her arms, knowing your safe helps her relax and she gets as close to sleep as a vampire can get

Loves how you look when you wake up- hair disheveled, cheeks flushed , eyes droopy.

“You’re so handsome.” She said kissing your nose- smiling when she hears your heart beat quicken.

“That’s rich coming from the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met.”

“Would you guys stop it with that sappy shit!” Your dorm mate said throwing a shoe at you- Rosalie somehow cached it and chucked it back at him.

“Sorry about them.”

“It’s alright, it’s worth it to spend time with you.”

You guys are pretty sappy 94% percent of the time- the other 6% of the time you are on some crackhead shit

“Rose look at this!” “Y/N DON’T GO ON THE CHANDELIER--”

She basically is the only reason your alive

She loves when you pick her up- like loves it more then life itself

She finally gets the loving and comfortable embrace she’s been longing

Will leap into your arms so your guard is always up

Your first kiss is simple but amazing, she doesn’t want to stop  but knows she has too

Once you share that first kiss the damn has been broken

Long make-out sessions, quick kisses goodbye, sloppy kisses, french kisses, Eskimo kisses, butterfly kisses- you guys do them all.

One time she  bit your lip and pulled on it slightly- you let out a moan and that girl had to physically restrain herself from going further

When becoming more intimate comes up she decides to tell you

She just straight up comes up to you and says it

“Stop panicking-”

“I made out with a vampire- why don’t you have fangs?”

“That’s a myth.”

“Oh wow- that’s a myth but what about the blood thing- cause I love you but I don’t know if I’m into that.”

She explains everything to you calmly- answering all you questions

You end up getting pretty excited and rambling about all sorts of things

“Omg, can you turn into a bat because that’d be sick.”

“No- You’re taking this very well.”

“I’m dating a gorgeous, strong, vampire woman- I couldn’t be happier.”

Rosalie loves you so much

From that day forward there are no secrets

She tells you everything- even about Roy.

You hold her when she starts to get emotional, stroking her back softly 

“Thank you for being... you.” She mumbles into you chest.

“It’s my pleasure.”

On a happier note, she loves kissing your neck

Kissing your nose

Kissing you just about everywhere

Holding your hand is a must everywhere

You watch her work on cars and talk to her

She teaches you a few things

Stroking your hair

She spoils you with gifts- you ask her to stop because it’s overwhelming you

You guys don’t wait to get intimate.

In her car or in your dorm is your go to places- the thought of her family or your roommates hearing you makes you skittish

All I’m gonna say is she like’s having power

She only turns you because you get sick- extremely sick.

Treatments aren’t working and Carlisle know’s you won’t make it

He pumps you full of drugs so you don’t feel as much of it as possible

Rosalie holds you and is on the verge of tears that won’t seem to spill

Want’s to take your pain away when you clutch at her blouse and plead with her to make it stop,

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. But I can’t loose you.”

She knew you wanted to be a vampire- she let you make the decision- and the pain was just taking over, but it still killed her

Hold’s you in her arms for day’s waiting for you to wake up

When you do she doesn’t let go

“Rose- Can I get up please?” You rasp out- your throat unbearable dry

“Oh of course.”

Rosalie can’t help but smile when she see’s you smiling at her

She’s about to speak when Alice bursts in the room carrying a mirror “Oh. Y/N you’re so handsome you must see!”

Everyone is somewhat sympathetic but also excited

Rosalie drags you away and swear she’ll be the only one who teaches you about being a vampire- and she does

You guys are an iconic and powerful duo

You insist on carrying her around bridal style since you obtained your newfound strength

She isn’t complaining

Speaking of bridal

You guys get married a few years after your turned

Alice want’s to plan it all and go all out- but you and Rosalie want to plan a smaller arrangement

It’s cute- Alice could’ve made it cuter but it was cute

Wanting to cry during the vows

You guys can break it down on that dance floor- she gave you lessons

You guys go to Paris for your honeymoon- and let’s just say the wedding night does not disappoint

Although the others in the hotel who wanted to sleep are disappointed

You guys are so unbelievably happy together

You’re so glad you found each other, so glad you got to be with the other.

You don’t know what the future holds but whatever happens you know you can get through it together because you have each other.

(Opinions? Also techinically I didn’t lie it did come out when I said it’s just kinda late lmao) @iiconicsfan25 i hope this was okay

[yoichichi]

✨ Anon Playlist

For my ✨ anon, I hope it’s what you were looking for!

warning: slight timeskip!nishinoya spoilers, kissing?

gif not mine, credit to owner

A/N: I tried to make this GN! since I don’t know your pronouns, if you have any problems please let me know!

Relationship Head Cannons

Okok reading your ask I definitely had to pair you with Nishinoya!! Looking at your interests and your personality etc. I think you guys would make a lovely couple :)

He definitely met you while traveling and immediately asked you for your number (this man is so bold and shameless you cannot tell me otherwise); he was probably a little ridiculous about it and loud and he could not believe you said yes

Went from 😉😁😏 to 👁👄👁,,,😳😳😳 so fast

Called Tanaka drunk after you gave him your number talking about how you have to be the one or something cause he just got some gorgeous babe’s phone number at the bar and he’s pretty sure it’s real

Tanaka still laugh’s about it with him all the time and Noya’s always like oml haha so embarrassing😅😅 stop it dude they’re gonna think I’m a creep 🤬

Nishinoya love’s it when you get to meet his friend’s and get along with them!! It make’s his heart so full!

Double dates with Tanaka and Kiyoko!!! And Noya’s just so🤩🤩 guys guys look at my bb!!!!

omg would endlessly brag about your cocktail making skills asjjskfjnkajeke and NO ONE asked but he can’t help himself

Would shamelessly ask you to paint him and then immediately start undressing for a nude painting  adjskfieurir 

Would for SURE ask you to read to him and it’s one of the few times he’s actually calm, he just finds it so calming he gets to stare at you and just bask in you and how much he loves you is the real reason

Love love loves listening to you talk about your current book obsession and just finds it so cute

let’s be honest just worships the ground you walk on

LOTS of stargazing on beaches at night

He would ask you an abundance of questions about literally anything you know or love cause he’s a passionate guy, too!! You guys could definitely talk for hours and hours and never get bored of each other

And the way you listen to him while he rants about literally any and everything makes his heart practically implode

He’s so soft for you too cause he never thought someone would actually be down for his lifestyle of traveling and having a good time but you do! And you enjoy it so much :)!

PHYSICAL AFFECTION

LOVES holding your hand cause not only does it let him run around and make sure he’s not gonna lose you in the crowd but it just makes him feel so close to you? And it let’s everyone know he’s your boyfriend which he takes so much pride in pls

All in all, your guys’ relationship is just so full of fun that when you guys get to lay and look at the stars together and everything slows down for that moment, Noya knows he really loves you and couldn’t imagine finding anyone better

And what you’ve been waiting for... your playlist!

Ok, so I did my best to match your playlist to the indie vibes you mentioned and keeping it to the scenario of just laying with Noya as best as I could!

I sincerely hope you enjoy, please tell me your thoughts!! Below is the listed songs in order and my explanation for each :). And if you need anything changed, please tell me!

1. Lost in Your Love - Colyer: This song definitely is reminiscent of when you two first met, seeing you just hit him like a truck. Now, he could let literally let go of anything in his life as long as you were there with him. He’s quite definitely lost in your love (talk about devoted, sheesh).

2. My Kind of Woman - Mac DeMarco: So this is written with the intent of keeping you gender neutral since I don’t know your pronouns, so I don’t specifically take the “woman” part of this song as inspiration, but rather the idea of the love in the song if that makes sense. But if this song makes you uncomfortable please let me know and I will happily replace this song. SIMP ALERT 🚨 please Noya wishes he could dedicate this song to you with his whole heart. It’s more of him just being in complete disbelief that YOU choose to be by his side (this is a common theme here 🙄) It doesn’t matter how long you two are together he will never get over letting him be by your side

3. Nothing - Bruno Major: PLS THIS SONG IS MAKING ME SO SOFT FOR NOYA😰✋  please, this is your guys song. The epitome of just laying in each other’s presence and enjoying the warmth and conversation between you two, it’s these moments that really make Noya fall in love with you

4. Something About You - sophie meiers: Noya was definitely more nervous to ask you to be an official couple than he was saying I love you LMAO. He was just so scared to be like look I really like you, please just let me be yours and please be mine officially and let me do couple things with you and show you cool things I like (definitely came off like 💧👁u👁..... be my girlfriend? 🧍‍♂️)

5. Pluto Projector - Rex Orange County: C’mon now TELL me this ain’t you and Noya 🙄✋ your relationship is definitely always in that “honeymoon” phase, you guys are just effortlessly obsessed with each other cause not only do you have so much love to give but so does he!! And this song is just pure ~vibes~

6. Fall - Chloe x Halle: Ok, this one is mainly just for the feeling of it, but okok. You and Noya laying and looking up at the stars and it starts to rain but he just won’t get up and you guys just lay there having a laughing fit until you pull him up and make him come back to the warmth of your guys’ home. And as you’re drying each other off and you have a towel around your shoulders and your still dripping a little and you’re handing him his tea and fuck you just look so perfect he can’t help but tell you he loves you

7. Honeybee - Steam Powered Giraffe: SLOW DANCE TIME, everyone's gotta have one right? It’s more soft behavior, but this song? WHEW. Noya know’s he will forever be trapped by you and your beauty and presence but he just couldn’t care less, the things you do to him, god he swears you’re gonna kill him.

8. Intertwined - dodie: There’s no way you could mention laying with your s/o and NOT have me put this song on there, please just listen to this song you’ll understand 🙏 pure cuddly, chill vibes

9. Turning Page - Sydney Rose: stop it this song makes me cry tell me you guys aren’t laying with each other, tracing each other’s features with your fingers, memorizing every little detail there is to notice (fuck this is so intimate i-)

10. Like You Do - Joji: 🚨A LITTLE NOYA ANGST IM SORRY🚨 Noya would be a little scared his lifestyle would become too much and it’s kind of an irrational fear he has for you, but at the same time he knows that you make him so happy and you love him so much he’d be willing to even change this for you if it meant you could keep loving him like you do now.

11. Goodbye Horses - Q Lazzarus: Did someone say late night cuddly and giggly make out sesh? 😳 Noya pulling away every time just to go “oh no sir🤠!” before kissing you again  ( :40 in the song, you’ll know what I’m talking about)

12. Body Language - Miki Ratsula: We get it you two 🙄✋ you like laying down and cuddling together

13. Dogs at the Beach - The Altogether: PLS this is just for vibes tbh

14. Wanna Know - Sabrina Claudio: I do feel like sometimes Noya is a very blunt guy who says it as is, and not everyone else is like that! So I’m sure sometimes he gets nervous that he’s too much for you and whether or not you love him as much as he loves you! But ultimately he knows you guys wouldn’t be where you are now if you didn’t love him (and then he immediately hates himself for even questioning your love, protect him pls)

15. Let Me Follow - Son Lux: TL;DR, all you need is each other’s love to exist and you couldn’t ask for more.

----------

AHHHH IT’S FINALLY HERE , I’m sorry this took so long! I was having a lot of problems with Tumblr and am a fairly new writer, I really hope you enjoyed this, please give me your feedback and thoughts! I want to make sure you got this :(

Feedback and opinions from anyone is appreciated!

request’s for playlist’s are currently closed until I finish the others, but I will make a post when they’re open again! And to all of those who have requested, they’ll be out shortly!! 

-🐇out

[cadomoisspokenfor]

Legion Rewatch Notes,

Chapter 8:

The Revolution

Aw man, how unfortunate what’s happened to Clark. I feel soooooooo bad. I mean he was just humble div 3 agent, doing his job, gaslighting marginalized individuals, participating in a genocide. How cruel of those bad bad mutants to injure him so badly. He was only actively about to kill David. What could he possibly have done to deserve any of this?

In other words, the Clark propaganda is not working on me this time. At all.

Maybe don’t participate in a genocide? Idk :/

I normally hate when people type in the passive aggressive way I have been for the past few paragraphs, but goddamn, Clark deserves it.

He’s not quite as damaged... but he’s kind’ve like old David here, from the over-medicated living with Amy timeline. Again, not quite as damaged as that though.

Clark considers mutants a “threat to democracy.” 🙄 “Moral panic” I guess?

“The second I walk outta this room, i’m going to war.” There’s that word again. Clark could just... not, and they’d probably have more time to figure out how to safely eradicate Farouk. But because he doesn’t and David busies himself with peace treaties, Farouk escapes and continues to be a problem for the next year. Clark has a family. A husband and child who love him to death. And he chooses war over them. This pattern will repeat in other character. Technically this isn’t even the start of it.

Suit change, new cane, same Clark. This really doesn’t change anything, does it? He could go through the rest of the series in the suit he wore before and it wouldn’t make difference. The valiant hero dressing for an expected victory over their long time (relatively) rival, only to be stopped immediately by an unforeseen development. This pattern will repeat... tragically.

Considering Farouk!David woulda just dusted them, it’s probably nice for his friends to see the real him is much less violent. He just stacks em like a Jenga Tower, no need for anything more.

Also, Wilhelm scream from one of the soldiers.

He’s also talking strangely. In an almost too calm voice. Measured. He talks like this a few other times, but I think those times have sadder context. Maybe they reflect on this moment. He talks like how he talked when Farouk was mind-melded with him, but his intentions aren’t evil this time around. I guess this is just his “fully in control” voice.

Clark’s literally shaking where he stands.

The zoom in to Clark’s blind eye is reminiscent to previous zoom in’s to Walter’s foggy eye. I guess Clark has taken on the role of Walter, artificially. Makes sense since he’s now the main D3 representative/antagonist like Walter was before.

“I don’t care if you save me, or the world, if you don’t save yourself.” David will eventually choose himself over the world, and Syd. And Syd will hunt him for it. Goes to show how much things change in s2.

“You know the most dangerous thing about schizophrenia?”

“You’re not-“

“The most dangerous thing is believing... you don’t have it! That’s the trick, the mind killer, your disease convinces you you don’t have it. So, for example, one day in the hospital you meet a girl and she has some friends, and they tell you you’re not sick. You have superpowers. And more than anything you wanna believe it because that means you’re not crazy! That means you can fall in love and live happily ever after. But you know if you believe it, if you surrender to the hope and you’re wrong, then... you’re never coming back.”

“I’m here. I’m real. The power is real. You gotta accept it, otherwise we can’t move on.”

“I was in Clockworks for six years. Drugged, doing nothing. Contributing nothing. And now, finally I can be useful! I can help! Don’t you get it? I am so sick of myself. This only works if it’s not about me.”

“David...”

So... that’s a lot. David believes being crazy means he’s not allowed to fall in love, or be happy. He said the same sentiment to Amy before Clockworks. This whole season and this episode especially push David into his full “I’m not insane, I won’t believe you if you tell me otherwise” mindset. At the very least that’s the stakes we’re playing with. If David fully gives into the hope, even for a moment, he believes there’s no possibility for recovery. No possibility for love or happiness. Why even try after that? It’s life or death for him. “If the choice is between life and death, I choose life.”

I know this is all already known and talked about and circulated 100’s of times over in various fan circles, but it’s probably the most important line for David’s character (the speech, not the Farouk quote). It’s very ableist, yes, but at least in the moment it’s coming from someone who’s just being too hard on themselves, and not ya know, being actively validated by the show.

2 episodes ago David talked about being worried about an “invincible” feeling. The dangers of mania.

We also know from that episode that David is more at peace in a calm, responsibilityless setting (with Syd) than he is out in the real world. David’s gonna take on a ton of responsibility, some of it’s gonna draw him away from Syd. At multiple moments throughout the show David has known his own mental health better than any of the others, and even warned them about potentially dangerous slopes he could fall down without their help. Despite this, David is pushed further down a path he tells them is dangerous and is still blamed for what happens in the end. I feel like Oliver’s line from ep4 is relevant here again, “We are the root of all our problems. Our anger, our confusion, our fear of things we don’t understand.” Everyone wants David to be something other than... David. A hero, a god, there projected image of a perfect partner. Not just... David.

Man, the more I realize about David’s self-awareness in s1 the madder I am at Syd for saying all that ableist stuff to him in s2 as if he wasn’t already down on himself 24/7. “It never occurred to you that you’re the problem not the solution?” It’s occurred to him like 5 times by now and has been shut down by you at least 3 of those times. I don’t understand.

What’s strange is... to my recollection David doesn’t believe he’s invincible at the end of s2. Or that he’s not sick.

“Saint David.”

“I’m not saying that. I make mistakes.”

“Say you’re gonna let them kill me if I don’t let them turn me into something different. Something easy. Something clean.” He sounds sinister here, but it is an indication that he knows he’s not perfect. In fact it sounds like he’s trying to appeal to Chap 1 Syd’s mentality. Your disorder is what “makes you you.”

So what’s the message here?

“We can’t just kill people. Or is that who we are now?”

“That’s who they are.”

The justification for killing here is that they’ll kill them if they don’t. Div 3 will kill Summerland if Summerland doesn’t kill Div 3, is what I meant. David has a similar justification for killing Shadow King in s2. Well, he has a LOT of justifications for it, but that’s one of them. Syd doesn’t hear it then either. She does attempt to kill David herself though. I don’t quite understand where the line is.

“He was gonna kill you, twice.”

“With that kind of thinking wars would never end.”

So... he shoulda just talked to The Shadow King when they were both powerless? Talking is what ultimately ends their fight in s3... hmm...

Cary is more humane to their POW than Melanie and Ptonomy are.

The show doesn’t necessarily say it was Cary’s fault for leaving Kerry. Either way though, Kerry needs some space.

Melanie calls David a “world breaker” and outright says now that he knows that’s what he is, div 3 doesn’t stand a chance. I suppose... knowing that... is why they so readily team with Farouk. They stood no chance otherwise. Even then, at least hide him away till after the intervention.

David’s floating meditation pose is seen more in s2 and A LOT more in s3.

He puts the onus of ending the war on Div 3. As if to say, “If things get violent again, it’ll be on you, not us.”

People keep talking about “gods” “waking up” and “realizing they don’t have to listen to us/them anymore.”

When Clark says it David’s first response is, “Isn’t that the history of the world?” But it’s a red herring (or something else) cause he follows it up with, “People of different nations, different languages, learning to live together?”

Clark is afraid if mutants gain power they won’t show humans mercy or equality. This is a common belief among fascist. The “they’ll treat us like we treat them” argument. Only it’s rarely self-aware, and it isn’t here either. Clark genuinely believes he’s not doing anything wrong. It’s all somehow in “self defense.”

Ah, so Farouk and Syd are connected psychically. He entered her mind whenever she entered David’s. He psychically affects her at multiple points throughout the series.

Syd here is convinced to help The Shadow King by The Shadow King. And while he’s wearing a mask at that. Yeah yeah, this pattern will repeat. But still, Syd gives in relatively quickly here. Perhaps she just... doesn’t fully trust Summerlands capabilities? They are legitimately trying to get rid of Farouk, but Farouk has proven time and time again how dangerous he is. Or maybe the “unmake soup” thing is just that convincing to Syd.

Clark’s still standoffish, but he’s slowly becoming more cooperative.

Syd rolled a 4 on that hero speech. She needed at least a 7.

I legitimately NEVER noticed before that Syd secretly turns on the lab camera feed for Clark to watch. They weren’t trying to show him that.

David gets a chance to look back at his whole life and recontextualize everything.

David straight up halts Farouk’s theme. If Clockworks Podcast is right and he can hear that whenever Farouk shows up, this would be evidence of it. Alternatively, he was halting Farouk, and the music halting was for the audience. A fun subversion of expectations.

David describes him and Farouk as, “The Sun and Moon.”

Division 3 sees it. The monster they saw on infrared. Clearly a separate entity from David Haller. Clearly of a different disposition than David Haller as David Haller has acted very differently and non-hostile compared to when they saw him roaming those HQ halls. The monster and David are not the same. They see who their real enemy is now.

It seems evident there was no chance of David beating Farouk on his own here. I wonder why? Was it true? Is Farouk just too ingrained in his mind? Cary said he was like a, “Computer virus. Learning his systems, bypassing his defenses.” Maybe Syd remembered that, and that’s why she believed Farouk. Cause Cary had already said something similar before.

Clark could've escaped, but he stayed, then tried to help fight Farouk.

I feel really sad Oliver got possessed. It never occurred to me before he could even tell Melanie he remembered her. Melanie’ll just go on thinking he never remembered her for a year.

And thus it’s established. There are “good mutants” and there are “bad mutants.”

No one checks on Ptonomy :(

The Lenny that’s talking to Oliver here is still just Farouk.

Did the orb go back as far as it could? Or was this time specifically chosen? If it was chosen, it was probably because it’s very soon after Farouk had been expelled from David’s head, and before the big race for his body starts.