#have these sketches I made over the course of the last few months

[jimjamjommeron]

[owliellder]

The Finer Details

Post DI! Leon Kennedy x Painter f! Reader

MDNI 18+

(Session 1, Session 2, Session 3, Session 4, Session 5, The Reveal)

Description: Leon realizes that retirement is in his best interest now that he's getting older. All of his accomplishments as an agent mean he's truly earned a painting to commemorate..

Warnings: Not Proofread, Age gap! (reader is anywhere between mid-late 20's and Leon is 40), Porn w/ Plot, Use of she/her pronouns, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Alcoholism, mentions of trauma/PTSD/depression, P in V smut (wrap it NEOW), Leon cries during sex 💔

Tags: Older Leon Kennedy, Younger afab!Reader, Leon is SAD but he is your muse, Crying, mentions of Leon masturbating, starts off with Dom! Leon and Sub! Reader, falls into switch territory because that man needs some serious TLC, Praise kink, Hickeys, Handjob, Nipple play, Oral sex (m! and f! receiving), and a heavy dose of Aftercare

Author Note: You know how each president of the U.S. gets a painting at the end of their term? I'm thinking like that. Plus, my favorite hobby is recreating renaissance art, so I figured this was a good fit (hopefully).

Cross posted onto AO3

Session 1: The Sketches

It was late at night when Leon made his decision to retire fully.

He had gotten home over an hour ago from reviewing mountains of paperwork, most of which pertained to missions that other agents have gone on or will be going on.

Younger agents. More energized agents.

The fact that he hadn't gone on a full mission since San Francisco was driving him up the wall. But that's what he wanted. He requested to hang back the last two years.

Both Chris and Claire had fully retired themselves right after San Fran, Claire being the first to retire to focus on her growing family with Chris following suit only a few months later. Jill was still around, but she was doing similar work that Leon was, only she was in a completely different department which was states away.

Of course Leon still talked with them all as regularly as possible, he'd go insane if he didn't, especially with Claire having a couple kids now. He wasn't the greatest with children, but it was refreshing seeing his friends achieve such normalcy. He wanted them to have the best life they could away from everything.

Having turned 40 a few some months ago, Leon was having a bit of a mid-life crisis. The mission to San Francisco a couple years ago had made him realize just how much toll the job itself had taken on his body. After being assessed and allowed home a few nights after returning from the mission, his body ached; joints creaking, back nearly thrown, just... tired.

Don't get him wrong, he was always tired after missions, but this was different. This wasn't just the regular aches and pains he dealt with after being tossed around like a rag doll, this was age.

Deep in his mind, Leon was still that 21 year old boy in Raccoon City. He never got the chance to properly grieve and move on, his mind forever changed by that event. Mentally, he was stuck there and had been this entire time.

It had taken the man this long to truly recognize the fact that he's older now. He's not that boy from Raccoon City anymore. He hadn't been in a long time.

What was he do to now? Leon had wanted so badly to serve and protect the people, but not like this. Not like he has for the past 29 years.

He spent his most formative years fighting unimaginable horrors, watching people suffer, watching people die. You don't just come back from something like that.

And unlike the friends he's managed to keep close, Leon didn't have someone he trusted. Hell, he barely trusted himself most days.

So now here he was, sitting drunk in his shower with his legs pulled up to his chest, his arms resting atop his knees while the water pelted down on him, silently mulling over everything he's ever seen and done during his time as an agent.

The water had grown cold at this point, Leon having quickly lost track of how long he was sitting spaced out like that for. Thankfully, he'd already cleaned himself before he ended up sitting down, so the hardest part now was just standing back up to get himself back out.

It took him a couple more minutes before he finally hoisted himself up with a tired groan, both his knees popping from being stuck in position for such a lengthy amount of time.

Once out of the shower, towel loosely wrapped around his waist, Leon stared at himself in the mirror; busy studying the crow's feet on both outer corners of his eyes as well as the prominent bags sitting under them, the smile line around his mouth, his now brown hair, the stubble on his face and neck that's he's neglected to shave, and just how exhausted he looked.

How has he never noticed any of this before? Why's he look so different now?

Settling into bed after this brutal realization was a tough task. The man followed his nightly routine of taking four Tylenol and two of his prescription sleep meds before setting his a/c 65 degrees Fahrenheit. He learned quickly many years ago that tossing and turning at night would make him overheat and sweat.

But tonight, nothing Leon did could ease that sinking feeling in his chest, that feeling of unfulfillmemt and shame weighing on him more than ever before.

The poor man barely slept at all last night, hangover evident by the way he was still slightly uneven on his feet as he leaned over the center island in his kitchen, head between his forearms while his hands sat clasped together.

Leon knew what he had to do. He's been feeling it ever since Chris and Claire made their departure, but it was so easy to deny. How was he suppose to give up the one thing that made him important? Sure the stress of his work was heavily tasking on the mind and body, but it's what gave him purpose. He felt useful doing what he did.

The man showed up for work late that day, barely having managed to dress himself. He didn't know exactly who to go to in this scenario, but everyone seemed surprised that the Leon Kennedy would show up for work in some ratty t-shirt and grey sweatpants. The stares were making him incredibly uncomfortable and he was quickly regretting showing up at all.

After sitting in his own office for awhile to avoid the looks and whispers, Leon eventually sauntered over to his superior's office, an almost solemn look on his face as he let himself in after knocking.

Needless to say, Leon was relieved his superior knew this was coming. Slightly offended, but relieved nonetheless.

It had been a long time coming, and it was only a matter of time before Leon threw in the towel, especially since he was now just working behind the scenes instead of on the frontline.

He was allowed to return home for the rest of the day if he wanted to, which Leon quickly took. He really didn't want to be in that building for much longer.

As soon as he returned home he went right back to drinking. And as ashamed as he is to admit, he even cried a little, half empty whiskey bottle in one hand while the other was clenched tightly into a fist as he gripped the pant leg of his sweats.

There wasn't anyone Leon could talk to about this. Chris and Claire had their own respective partners to come home to after retirement, but Leon? Leon had nothing besides a dingy and cold two bedroom house with only the basics inside, including his alcohol cabinet.

The man didn't even give himself time to date, only the occasional one night stand with randoms from the bar. He was too afraid that he would endanger anyone he allowed into his life like that, not to mention he'd been betrayed one too many times to trust in someone that way again. It was his way of keeping himself and everyone else safe.

The therapists he was assigned throughout the years all had the same concern regarding his love life, and deep down Leon was just as concerned, but he rationalized it with that hero complex he developed.

But he just couldn't rationalize it anymore. Leon was alone. He was alone, sad, and afraid.

About a month after Leon's retirement was processed and announced, word spread quickly throughout numerous government branches. There was a celebration set up at the White House to honor his service as a field agent.

The President had separated him and Leon from the party to slowly walk through the many hallways in the building. The old man could tell just how bothered the now ex-agent was by his retirement, so he figured now would be the best time to talk to him about his final task.

"You know," The President spoke up after a couple minutes of the two walking in silence, prompting Leon to slowly turn his head to listen. "I'm sure you've heard it so many times tonight, but you truly were one of the best agents I've ever seen."

Leon chuckled quietly, shaking his head a bit at the compliment. He had heard it a lot tonight, but obviously it was different coming from him.

"I'm serious. This county, probably the entire world, would've been in shambles if not for your hours spent." The President continued, slowing his walking to a stop.

"It means more than you know." Leon responded simply, voice a bit gravelly from the few drinks he's had. He took a couple steps more before stopping as well, turning around to face the prominent old man.

The President sighed, giving him a sympathetic smile while nodding. They stood in silence for a brief moment before the old man spoke up again, pointing lazily down the hall. "Follow me, I've got something I want to show you."

From there, the two wandered further down the halls until eventually reaching one hall that had lights more centered towards the walls, highlighting the picture frames that sat evenly spaced out amongst them.

Leon seemed a tad confused until he was able to focus on the first painting they walked by. He knew each president got a portrait painted after their full term was served, but the man in this painting wasn't a past president.

He stopped walking to stand in front of the painting, admiring the details it had before glancing down at the bottom of the elegant frame, a placard reading a name he didn't recognize. What he did recognize, though, was the word Agent that sat in front of the man's name.

While zoned into the placard, Leon didn't register the gentle hand that had been clasped on his shoulder, the President's voice breaking through his trance. "For as long as there's been bioweapons, we've had agents fighting to stop them. But only a few agents have truly outdone themselves. Agents like you."

Leon blinked a couple times before turning his head to look at the hand on his shoulder, eyebrows furrowed. He wasn't quite understanding what he was saying.

The President took his silence as a cue to continue, his sympathetic smile turning into a happier one as he gently tugged Leon's shoulder to get him to start walking again. "The D.S.O. has produced some of the greatest agents since Benford created it back in 2011. You were amazing before, but you've outdone yourself time and time again."

Leon still wasn't quite understanding, really only half listening as he kept his eyes trained to the numerous portraits of agents as he slowly passed them.

The two stopped in front of the last painting in the hallway, only a few spots away from leading into another hallway. It was Chris and Claire in this painting. Chris was sitting down in a chair while Claire stood next to him, hand resting on back of it, both of them smiling.

He studied the painting for a minute longer before whipping his head around to face the President, who was still smiling, as the realization slowly settling in.

"I-" Leon struggling to speak, glancing back at the painting before quickly looking back at the old man standing next to him.

The President simply nodded his head, smile widening with a gentle laugh. "Right. The painting process takes a bit of time, but I think you've more than earned this."

The ex-agent had so many questions. Firstly, why hadn't Chris or Claire mentioned this? But more importantly, he gets to have his own portrait painted?

"The painter knows all about you. She's excited to meet you." The President started down the hall again, Leon not far behind, still stuttering out nonsense as he attempted to form even a sentence. "I'll give you the information you need to get started with her. I have it written down back in my office."

A painting?

A painting. A painting for him. A painting to honor him. What?

Leon was once again sat on his couch, blankly staring at the small business card with a date and time written on it in pen. He'd read the info on the card so many times already, wanting to make sure he got absolutely nothing wrong.

Apparently he didn't have to call and confirm, all he had to do was show up to this random address at a specific date and time, which was soon. In a couple days kind of soon. Also, he thought he was reading the time wrong, but no, it was four in the morning, not four in the afternoon. What an odd and rather inconvenient time.

Even after memorizing the business card front to back, Leon would be lying if he said he didn't forget about meeting up with this mystery painter. He'd been rather aloof the past couple months, it was hard to pull himself out of that funk. He'd been staying up late and sleeping in even later, so hitting snooze on his alarm a good few times was just muscle memory at this point.

It was almost 5am when he realized where he was suppose to be, eyes shooting open as he yanked himself out of bed, desperately trying to clean himself up enough to be at least presentable.

The man was mentally chastising himself the entire drive. It was a short drive, which he was surprised by, and the building seemed quaint; red brick with large windows that sat on what looked like either a second or third floor.

He parked his bike right near what he assumed was the main door, pulling off his motorcycle helmet before knocking and waiting.

The last thing Leon was expecting was you to unlock and open that door; young and pretty, so pretty...

"Mr. Kennedy?" You asked, eyebrows raised slightly with a small smile. He nodded, just barely noticeable, reaching a gloved hand up to wipe at his eyes as he caught himself staring.

Your smile only widened at his nod, stepping aside to allow him into walk in. It took him a minute to realize you were still talking, shaking his head out to refocus himself.

"-again, really, no need to worry about being late. I was trying to work with your schedule but I should've known it's changed up a bit by now, right?" You lead him up a set of narrow stairs, though he was mostly following the smell of your perfume. It was such a light smell but he definitely picked up on it.

You opened a door immediately to the left of the stairs, letting Leon follow you inside. The sun was just starting to rise, shining through the large windows in the open room.

The place was cluttered, yet organized. Crowded, but that just made it all the cozier to Leon. His house was bare and lacked any sort of personality, but this... this place was covered in you.

"I'm glad you like it in here." You said in a quiet voice, looking up at him as he took in your workspace. He was smiling ever so slightly, which you mimicked with a smile of your own. "I try to make it welcoming in here, my apartment is the same way.."

Your voice trailed off as you walked over to a mostly put together set up near the back of the room where the only wall without windows sat. There was a chair sitting close to the wall, the same chair Chris was sitting in for his portrait with Claire, along with your easel sitting empty a few feet away.

Leon stood frozen, only moving his head around as he took everything in. He followed you with his eyes as you fumbled around with something, eventually producing a blank 24" x 36" canvas that was still wrapped in thin plastic.

His mouth made an 'o' shape as he pulled himself from his small trance once again, beginning to slowly make his way over to the set up you've made. He placed his helmet down on the floor beside the chair.

After placing the canvas on the easel, you walked back over to where you'd gotten the canvas from before grabbing a heavily used sketchbook. It was a large one, the paper a light brown instead of white.

Leon had only just realized that there was a faint sound of some form of classical music playing from somewhere in the room, glancing around for speakers before looking back over at you.

"I'm not getting started today, we're a couple steps away from that, so don't worry about appearance just yet." You said softly with a breathy laugh, quickly making your way back over to where he stood next to the plush chair in your setup, his hand feeling over the worn maroon fabric.

Leon nodded silently, moving to sit down once you requested he did, furrowing his eyebrows as he watched you drag over a small table. You worked fast, that's for sure.

Eventually, you'd set up a little tabletop easel to sit on the table you'd dragged in front of him, grabbing your swivel chair to sit in as you placed your sketchbook on the easel, open to a blank page.

"I just need to get some basic ideas of your facial structure since that's most important when it comes to these kinds of paintings. You're gonna be wearing a nice tuxedo when I do the second- no, third sketch for the final painting, but this is just for me to get a feel for you and vise versa." You rambled quickly, pulling out a pencil from one of your pockets before fully sitting down on the chair, bringing your legs up to sit criss cross.

"Uh.. Alright..." Leon responded, clearing his throat a bit. He didn't really understand what you'd said, you spoke a little too fast for his tired brain to keep up, but it seemed like whatever you were doing was necessary so he just rolled with it.

He was left a little speechless again at how you just began sketching, glancing up to his face and down to the page you were working on over and over. "...do you need me to, I don't know, pose or something?"

The way you kept looking at him was making feel a little uneasy. Granted he's never been in this sort of situation before, this whole process was very unfamiliar to him.

"No, no. You can move your head around and stuff. Get comfortable." You waved off, eyes wrinkling as you smiled at him. Leon nodded again, deciding to take the opportunity to look around your workspace again.

It really was a cozy space. Full of color and life, even the curtains you had lining the windows offered so much pattern and detail to the room. The back of the room where the two of you sat was more cluttered with less decor, but the front of the room was a whole different story with those massive floor pillows, blankets of all sorts strewn about, that big fluffy looking area rug, it was all so... homey. It was even inspiring him to decorate his own house a bit.

The sound of your pencil scribbling on paper and the faint sound of the classical music playing was all Leon could hear for awhile, eventually letting out an anxious sigh before beginning to talk. "So... a painter, huh..?"

"Oh yeah, I've been doing this since I was little. Obviously I wasn't that good back then, but I really improved after high school." You immediately responded, voice a little louder than his. Clearly the topic excites you. "If you want, I can hand you one of my other sketchbooks to look at while I do my thing over here?"

Leon patted his hands against the arms of the chair before nodding to the side, pursing his lips slightly. "Mm, sure. Let's see what ya got.."

As soon as he agreed, you stood up and shuffled over to the corner of the room where some desks sat arranged in a makeshift cubicle. You opened a drawer and pulled out a couple sketchbooks, still as raggedy as the one you were using now.

Walking back over, you carefully handed them to him, which he slowly took after meeting your eyes for a brief moment.

Once you made your way back to your chair, he placed both sketchbooks into his lap, opening up the one on top first. The man flipped through them silently as you began to sketch him out again.

You'd zoned into your work, adding just a bit of shading to your sketches to help emphasis some features when Leon cleared his throat again. You leaned to the side to look at him, your smile quickly returning when you saw his baffled expression.

"These are... wow, okay, how old are you?" Leon asked, head jerking upwards to meet your gaze once more. You just giggled in response, using the pencil as a fidget before returning to sketching.

"Sorry-uh, I don't mean to come off as rude or anything, but to be honest, I was expecting you to be some old lady when I saw the portraits you've done." Leon was quick to try and explain, probably misinterpreting your lack of response for unease.

Your giggle turned to a small laugh, leaning to the side once more to look at the man. "Well, I'm glad I could surprise you a bit. Hopefully I don't look old."

Leon groaned and wiped his hand down his face. "Again, sorry. Didn't mean to imply." He shook his head and looked back down at the two sketchbooks sitting in his lap, continuing to flip through them.

It was only a couple hours until you decided you got a good enough feel for drawing his face. Grabbing the sketchbook, you stood up, pencil still in hand, looking down at the sketches you made as you slowly walked over to him.

The man noticed you standing up, quickly moving to close the sketchbooks you'd given him in favor of seeing your new sketches.

"I... I think this'll be enough today. I don't want to keep you too long." You said, handing him the sketchbook. Leon took it from you, careful not to smudge anything as he finally got to see what you've been doing for the past two hours.

He furrowed his eyebrows as he studied the sketches you'd made of his face, seeing all the different angles, even the smile, how'd you get his smile?

You seemed to grow nervous the longer he stared at your sketchbook in silence, his intense look making it seem as if he didn't really like them. "Are they... Are they okay?"

Leon jostled the sketchbook a bit in his hands before standing up, now towering over you as he kept his eyes on the paper. "Just okay? These are beyond amazing."

You let out a small breath you didn't notice you were holding, heat rushing to your cheeks as you smiled at his compliment. "Oh, thank you.. I'm sorry, normally sketches don't take this long but it was stressed to me that your portrait was very important so I wanted to get everything as perfect as I could.."

"Seriously, you're a mad woman if you think these wouldn't be good." Leon chuckled, handing the sketchbook back to you. He kept his eyes trained on you, even after you turned to look down and close the sketchbook. Only a fool would miss that blush on your cheeks, it looked good on you.

"Anyways, when should I come back for the next.. uh..." Leon paused, crossing his arms loosely as he struggled to think of the word.

Luckily, you finished the sentence for him. "Session. Again, this painting's importance was stressed to me a lot, so probably the next time you're available?" You talked while you shifted the small table back to where it had originally sat under one of the numerous windows, tossing the sketchbook down on the chair cushion.

"Alright, since it's importance has now been stressed to me as well, I can probably clear up some stuff in my schedule. How's tomorrow sound?" Obviously, Leon had a completely free schedule, but you didn't need to know that.

"Tomorrow works great! The sooner the better!" You laughed, placing a gentle hand on his bicep as you walked past him to grab a sticky note. "I'll give you my personal number, just let me know when you're thinking of coming over and I'll meet you here, okay?"

Leon looked at your number before pocketing the note, nodding his head with a smile of his own. "Sounds good. Same way out?" He pointed to the door that you brought him in through, bending down to pick up his motorcycle helmet right after.

You confirmed with a thumbs up, now drinking water from your water bottle as you'd forgotten too while focused on drawing. You felt bad for not offering him any water while he was here, but you won't forget next time.

The man gave you a curt wave before leaving the room, quietly shutting the door behind himself.

You had to admit, you've worked with a very small handful of agents since it takes a lot for them to earn their own portrait, but Leon Kennedy had to be the one of the most handsome men you've ever worked with. Maybe even one of the most handsome men you've ever seen.

Lucky you pay attention to detail, cause you definitely didn't see a ring on his finger.

[bettyfrommars]

nightmare!eddie x reader

a Nightmare Factory blurb

I had several smut blurb requests to do with Eddie working his magic to give us a wet dream, including one from the lovely @jo-harrington that I will probably do something with separately, and it's literally all I could think about today, so I spit this out.

18+ONLY, somnophilia, smut, unprotected sex, squirting, reader receiving oral, pet names. Okay so, this is somnophilia because reader is actually asleep, but it's also...a dream. This is a consensual relationship, and they've been together for a while at this point (for those following the story, this is a time jump). It's a wet dream, but there is also evidence that they really had intercourse. wc: 1.3k

masterlist

authors note: I've decided we are going to jump around a bit in theis series because the non-linear way is more fun, I think. I still have a Headless Horseman Eddie coming soon, but this one felt very important xoxoxox

-------

Eddie got to work early that day and threw a sheepish grin down the hall at Kevin before plopping down in his chair for the group safety meeting to do with falling from extreme heights in dreams.  

He hadn’t been able to see you in weeks and—my god—he missed you so much it made his heart hurt.  

You’d been keeping your nightmare boyfriend a secret from your family and friends, but it was hard not to mention Eddie when you’d made sure his face was a fixture in your life.  It started out as a few sketches when you first woke up, trying to keep his image fresh, but then it progressed to paintings and even a few sculptures.  You had a whole journal full of notes and different ways Eddie had appeared to you, dating back to before you ever knew who or what he was.  

“Last night, he came to me as ghostly whispers that swam in my head, and sang to me a haunting melody.”

You weren’t afraid of anything anymore, especially not your nightmares.  Being chased by a masked killer? It was just Eddie, strolling by to say hello.  A glimpse of a shadow monster behind you when you stood at the bathroom mirror? It’s just Eddie, coming around on his way to another job.  A clawed hand grabs your ankle from under the bed? Of course, it’s Eddie—-he wants to tell you a story about something that happened at work before he forgets.

Two months ago, things had become more intimate between the two of you.  There had been some yearning kisses before that, a bit of hand holding, but it was always a gamble because he said he didn’t want to mess up and get “taken off your route” completely, as if he were delivering newspapers or soliciting magazine subscriptions.

That afternoon, you took a nap, and woke up in the throws of a wet dream so fierce, you were barely able to touch yourself before you were cumming so hard it made you shake.  When the wave subsided, you rolled over and looked at the ceiling with a smile spreading across your face: “Eddieee, was that you?”

You took that as a sign that he would return that night, and so you slept naked, ready to tempt him.  The anticipation made it hard for you to drift off to sleep at first, but it wasn’t long before you felt his calloused hands moving up your thighs.

“Fuck, I’ve missed you so much, sweetheart,” Eddie whispered, waiting for you to acknowledge him.  “Did you miss me?”

You moaned, still half asleep, but cognizant of his presence in your dream.  

Your lower back bucked off the bed when his tongue sank between your legs, making your cunt throb.

“Damn, I love how wet you get for me,” he kissed your inner thigh and ran his nose along your slit, darting his tongue into your aching hole. His tongue was…longer than you remembered, and you could feel it fill you up and twist inside of you like a big snake on the run.

You whimpered and twitched, making him smile against your engorged pussy as it dripped for him and only him.

“You came so hard for me earlier today,” his whispers were far away but also right at your ear.  One mouth sucked at your nipples and licked them while the other latched onto your core—as if there were two of him.  “I need to taste it this time.”

Under your closed lids, your eyes moved from side to side and your jaw went slack as a long groan escaped.

You were close, and Eddie knew it.

He could feel your arousal bloom in his mouth, and he rutted it in the air of the celestial sphere the two of you were existing in.  

Your whole body stiffened as you came, gasping, hips bucking up to meet his mouth, to let him suck every last drop from you.

“God, I’m so crazy about you,” he mumbled against your slit as he lapped you up, licking all the way back and teasing there a little bit. 

You could feel your eyes fluttering open and you worried that you were waking up, “no no no no…” you repeated, becoming aware of the infinite blackness around you.

You saw Eddie’s head pop up from between your legs. “Do you want me to stop?”

“Eddie,” you breathed, relieved. You wanted to put your arms around him, to spread your legs wider so that he could be inside of you, but your limbs had minimal strength. “Where are we this time?”

It looked like you were floating in a dark night sky surrounded by a sea of bright, blinking stars. It felt like you were on your bed back in your room, but there was not a trace of anything familiar.  

With a grin still wet from your gift, he crawled up on top of you to plant a few sweet kisses on your face.  “We’re in the same astral plane with the rest of the soul suckers and the sex demons.  I’m doing my best to lay low, so the head Incubus doesn’t know I’m here.”  

Talking to your boyfriend and kissing him was great but you were suddenly hit with another blast of horniness so strong it made you clench.

“I need you, Eddie,” you whined against his mouth, finally able to move your hands up to undo his belt.  “Inside of me this time.”

His clothes were off in a split second, as if he’d never been wearing any to begin with. Your hole gripped at nothing when the tip of his hard length rubbed against it.  

“That’s it —fuck—just like that,” he held your hips up and sank in deep as your eyes fell closed again.  You drifted in and out of the astral plane as he made you his with long, slow strokes first, hitting that perfect spot inside each time.

You chanted his name as he worked his fingers in the right spot, just like you'd taught him to the last time you were together.  "You're doing so good, baby," you hushed. At one point, you felt like you were being lifted off the bed—becoming weightless—while he kept a steady pace.  

He hesitated abruptly, pausing there, and you managed to open your heavy eyelids to look at him. 

His expression was a serious one. “I’m about to cum, baby, but I wanted to tell you that I think I…I think I…”

But he couldn’t finish the sentence and your head rolled back as he continued, cursing at how good it felt.  

Your second orgasm hit with a sense of release you’d never felt before, and you cried out, trembling, as sunburst exploded at your core and a velvet whip cracked.

“You’re cumming…all over me…oh my god,” and the sight of your release spraying onto his cock made Eddie pour himself into you on the spot, stuttering as your walls milked him, each of you babbling incoherent words of worship to the other.

In the aftermath, he took you in his arms from behind to spoon you close.  He could feel your breathing change, and he knew it wouldn’t be long before you left dreamland through the magical door.  

“I think…” he started again, brushing his lips on the shell of your ear.  “I think I’m in love with you.”

—---

You took your time waking up, guiding yourself through another orgasm as the remnants of the dream lingered.  As always, you tried to hold onto the feeling of him for as long as possible, gasping his name as you came again, and your head lolled from side to side on the pillow.  

Once you were fully awake, the all too familiar sadness set in; the realization that he wasn’t really there, with you, like you wanted him to be.  

Your spirits soon lifted when you felt his seed drip down your leg on your way to the bathroom, elated at the realization that you had successfully kept a piece of him with you. 

One day, you’d figure out a way to keep all of him.

[heartateasee]

“Four”

Word Count: 10k

(Part four of ‘Goodnight and Go’)

⋆★★⋆

*One month until the wedding*

My phone vibrates as I sit at my desk at home - working on a couple of sketches I needed to complete for some upcoming clients. I finished my apprenticeship at the shop about four months ago, and my books had been filling up more and more. It felt nice to finally be working on my own when it came to something I had been striving towards for such a long time.

I set my pencil down as I grab my phone, and I see the notification is for a text from Harry. Sucking in a deep breath, I stare at the screen - trying to decide whether or not I wanted to read what he had to say right now.

He's been trying to get me to come out for his bachelor party tomorrow, and I've been avoiding giving him a direct answer. It's not that I didn't want to go - I just didn't know if it would be in our best interests for me to do so.

These past few months had been tense between not only Gwen and I, but also between me and my mother. I was still involved in planning the wedding, but Gwen had stopped letting me hang around her place any longer than I needed to if she, Harry and I were all together. Once whatever wedding thing we were working on was finished, she made it obvious that she was ready for me to leave. I obeyed every single time - not really wanting to stick around anyway.

My mother and I were hardly on speaking terms. If she was around for any of the wedding planning, she acted like I was invisible for the most part. All of her attention was on Gwen, regardless if I was contributing my opinion to the situation or not. It was obvious she didn't care about what I had to say or suggest, and she was only going to hear Gwen out.

I was more than shocked when Gwen said that I could invite a plus one to the wedding considering Harry had invited Kieran as a separate guest now, and Kieran would be bringing her girlfriend.

For the sake of comfort, I had ended up asking Alfie to join me. I remember the night I told Gwen that I had invited him. We were working on table charts at Harry's apartment, and she seemed overjoyed that I had asked someone to come with me. It wasn't until she had stepped out of the kitchen to use the restroom that I finally met Harry's eyes after breaking the news, and he had a stern look on his face. We didn't talk about it, and we still haven't talked about it. I hope to keep it that way.

Some higher power above must have been looking out for me in terms of Gwen's bachelorette party. She was traveling to Vegas with all the bridesmaids and, of course, I was supposed to be included in all of that. An opportunity arose at the shop where they were needing volunteers for an upcoming tattoo convention in the area, and I immediately jumped in to help out. It was the same weekend as her bachelorette, and I lied. I told Gwen that I had already signed up previously before her engagement, and that there wasn't any way for me to back out because they wouldn't be able to get help last minute. I told her that it had slipped my mind until three weeks before the trip.

I expected her to be angry - to curse me out and tell me how ungrateful I was that she would even include me, and then I'd just deny her.

But she didn't.

Gwen didn't even care that I wasn't able to go, and I can't tell you how much of a relief it was to know that I wasn't going to get a mouthful from her regarding it. I knew overall she'd probably have a better time without me there anyway, but I still expected her to have something snarky to say.

During her trip away, Harry had asked if I wanted to come over to help him put together some ideas on gifts to get his groomsmen, but I declined. The last thing I needed was my mother to find out that I had gone over there when Gwen was out of town. I would've never heard the end of that.

Harry had tried to talk to me about what happened at the engagement party on a few separate occasions, but I dismissed his invitation to do so every time. I just told him that we both had alcohol in our system, and that I didn't know what I was saying when it came to separating ourselves from each other. Even though I said I didn't mean it, I know he could still feel that I was gradually doing it. It sucked because now I was the one to sporadically text him when he used to be the one doing that to me.

But it was necessary - for both of us.

Deciding not to put it off any longer, I lick over my bottom lip as I click on the notification to open up our message thread.

From: Harry 8:47 pm Hey, are you busy? I wanted to talk to you about the party tomorrow. I know you haven't given me an answer, but I'd really just like to go over the details with you.

I read over the words a couple of times to get them to register - chewing subconsciously on the inside of my cheek while doing so. Almost every part of me wanted to go, to be there for him, but something inside of me was telling me it would be a mistake to go. I had the fear of Gwen overreacting about it, or my mom using it to justify her claim of me playing some 'game' with my sister and her relationship.

Then there was the part of my brain that kept nagging me, reminding me that this could really be one of the last times Harry and I get together - just the two of us. The wedding was in a month, and after that, I knew that I would probably hardly see Gwen and Harry both.

I push myself up from my desk and head over to my couch. I lay myself down on it, staring up at the ceiling as I contemplate whether or not to call Harry, but I know that ultimately I need to.

"Here goes nothing," I whisper to myself as I press the call button next to his contact, bringing the phone up to my ear.

My fingers play with the hem of the cropped tank top I have on, my legs sprawled out across the cushions of my couch in my cotton pajama shorts. The phone rings a few times before I hear it click.

"Hey."

I close my eyes at the sound of his voice - a bolt of electricity shooting straight to my heart. My stomach stirs due to the giddiness I'm feeling just by talking to him.

My body's reaction to his just his voice was enough evidence to tell me no matter how much I tried to distance myself from him, my feelings would still remain.

"Hey you," I say back, tucking my bottom lip between my teeth.

"I'm not bothering you at work or anything, right?"

My lips turn up into a soft smile as I shake my head - even though I know he can't see me. "No, I'm just at home. Laying on the couch now, but I was working on some sketches before I called."

"Oh yeah?" I can hear the excitement in his voice, and it causes me to smile even wider. "That's fucking awesome, Carter. The shop's been treating you well since you finished your apprenticeship?"

It stung a bit to know that we hadn't really discussed that accomplishment together, but we've just never had the time to do so. My father was the only one that really talked to me about it, and even though he was hesitant about the whole tattoo thing in the beginning, I could tell that he was over the moon that I had actually completed that goal for myself.

"Really well, actually," I tell him honestly. "I've had a lot of clients come through. Some of them have even booked me on the spot for another tattoo after they see the work I can do. I'm working on two pretty decent sized pieces right now. One is a thigh piece for this girl, and the other is a quarter sleeve for this older guy. He's fucking badass, dude. The piece is for his grandchildren."

I almost hold back from saying what I say next, but I also can't help but let it slip out. "He reminds me a bit of you, actually. His one arm is completely tatted, but the arm I'm tattooing is pretty much blank except for a few here and there. He said he was keeping it clear for sentimental ones."

"Damn, no way," he laughs into the phone, and I can tell that he's smiling just as wide as I am. "Well, if he reminded you of me, how do I look as a grandfather? Tell me the truth."

I burst out laughing, tossing my head back a bit on the pillow it was resting on. "Harry, he doesn't look like you or anything!"

"Sorry, I just had to ask, you know? I hope I'm sexy when my hair is all silver and shit."

"If you have any hair left at that age," I tease with a smirk - knowing that Harry has freaked out in the past several times about going bald at some point.

"I know you didn't just say that," as angry as he tries to sound, his tone is still playful. "You better take that back right now."

I giggle softly. "Or what?"

"Then I revoke the invitation to my party," he responds, and I can see the smug look he'd be wearing on his face right now if I were to be with him.

"The party that I haven't even said 'yes' to, by the way, so your threat is a little low on the scale there."

There's a beat of silence, and I can feel that the conversation is about to shift. I close my eyes - bracing myself for what he could say next.

"Do you really not want to come? I won't make you feel bad or anything if you don't want to. I just...I don't know. I've just always pictured you being there for it since I started planning it," his voice shows vulnerability, and it initiates a tug to my heartstrings.

"It's not that I don't want to, Harry. I just don't know if it's the best idea with how things have been," I sigh, starting to pull on a stray string on my shorts.

I knew that I didn't need to elaborate on what I meant any further. He knew exactly what I was talking about.

"I've already talked to Gwen about it, and I'm not going to lie, she did try to fight me on a little bit. I let it rest for a while before I brought it up again, but I explained myself further the second time, and then she understood. She's okay with you going."

I let silence take over again for a moment as I process his words.

"I just know that we can get a little wild together," I start, closing my eyes as I drape my forearm over them. "I just don't want her to get upset if we get too drunk or something."

"It's my bachelor party, Carter. I think she expects for me to get a little wild," he chuckles. "Within reason, of course."

I'm quiet for a little longer before I speak again. "I just don't want to cause more issues than I already have."

I was never told about what happened between Gwen and Harry after I left their engagement party, and I didn't care to know. I'm sure that he got yelled at. Him being belittled or talked down to was something that I didn't wish to hear about. Harry didn't deserve that. The only person that had tried to talk to me further about everything that happened that night other than Harry was my father. He said that he wanted to hear what I had to say because he knew that my mom was probably exaggerating what she had seen.

For the first time, I opened up to my father about my feelings towards Harry. He had been none the wiser when it came to how I felt towards my best friend. I was surprised that my mother hadn't told him about what she had suspected, but he said that she had never uttered a word about it. Just like Kieran, he actually encouraged me to speak up, and as much as that warmed my heart that he now understood me, it also made me feel guilty. Guilty because now I wasn't just coming between Harry and Gwen, I was also coming between my parents.

One parent furious that I could ever feel such a way, and the other trying to steer me towards pure honesty with the one person who needed to hear my feelings the most.

"I understand where you're coming from, please know that I do, but...I know I've said it before-"

"But who knows when we'll find the time to do these things once you're married?" I ask, dropping my arm back down away from my eyes to rest my hand on my stomach. "Yeah, you may have said that to me once or twice."

I hear Harry sigh through the phone, and I curl my fingers into a fist - knuckles brushing against my skin. Never in my life have I ever been anxious around him like I have been these past few months. It was an odd feeling. I just never knew what he would say next, and I think it's because most of what we talked about had to deal with a lot of outside forces. Our friendship was now being slightly controlled by those around us.

"Yeah," Harry breathes.

My heart is slightly rattling against my chest now, and I don't even know how to respond. I want to ask why it's so important for us to spend so much time together before he's married, but I know that his answer won't match why it's so important to me.

That causes me to swallow the question down.

I try to steer the conversation away from Gwen and my mother being why I'm so hesitant so that it can grow a bit lighter. "Your groomsmen won't think it's weird that you've asked a girl to come along?"

I knew most of Harry's friends, a couple of his groomsmen were guys we had gone to college with, but a couple were also from back home in Holmes Chapel. Those were the guys I had never met before. Harry always talked about taking me there, but we never got around to it after finishing college. I had only met his parents before because they came here to visit him.

"Well, you know that Lance and Gavin will be more than happy to see you. I told them I was trying to get you to come, and they were hoping I could convince you," he huffs a laugh before continuing. "Ross and Shane are aware of who you are, and they don't think it's strange if you're there. They know how close we are - how much you mean to me."

Harry has said that last phrase so many times in our friendship, and it never ceases to cause my whole body to tingle. I know him saying that means something completely different than when I say it to him. It serves as a permanent reminder that I have to take his words for what they are - not what I want them to be.

"You don't have to stay the whole time. Even if you just come for a couple of drinks, I'll be happy. I'm actually keeping it really low-key. We're going to one of the bars that's not too far from you, I think? It's called Chemistry."

I knew of the bar he was speaking of, and he was right, it was only a couple of blocks down from my apartment.

"Yeah, that's just a little ways down from me," I run my fingers through my hair. Swallowing down my doubts, I conjure up all the courage to power through. "I'll meet you there. What time?"

"Wait, really?!" The octave of Harry's voice changes drastically, and I can tell he's both excited and shocked that I've agreed.

"Really," I laugh, still pushing my nervousness down. "Just tell me what time, H, and I'll be there."

"We're planning to meet around ten. Does that work for you?"

"That's perfect. I get off at eight tomorrow, so that gives me plenty of time to come home and freshen up before going back out."

"Fuck, okay," he laughs, and I can tell he's more than excited. "I'm so happy you agreed. You know I'd never make you feel guilty for not coming, but I just really wanted you to be there."

"I'll be more than happy to be there," I say, twirling a piece of hair around my finger. "Always want to be there for you."

"Same with you," Harry croons. "I've got to get to bed, but I'll see you tomorrow night, yeah?"

"Yeah, I'll see you then, Harry."

"Goodnight, Carter."

"Goodnight."

We disconnect the call, and I rest my phone on my sternum as I stare up at the ceiling again. I'm glad that I found it in myself to finally agree to go to his party, however, I'm just hoping that it's everything he wants. I would hate for Gwen to completely change her tune come tomorrow, and go off on Harry for having me there. I'd feel so guilty.

I push myself off the couch to head back over to my desk, and I hesitantly pull out one of the sketches I've been working on here and there lately. My fingertips brush over the paper as I stare down at the design, and I pick up my pencil to continue adding to it.

It was the heart that Harry had said he wanted after the wedding was over. The anatomical heart.

I haven't told him that I was working on this. I was hoping that I could surprise him with it once their honeymoon was over, and have it be part of a secret wedding gift.

After a couple more hours, I had put Harry's sketch away for later, and I finished up on the two that I had been working on for my clients. I store them away properly to take back to the shop tomorrow, and I head to bed - willing away the anxiousness as to what tomorrow could bring.

⋆★★⋆

I've probably changed my outfit at least ten times now, but I think I finally decided on the one I was going to wear tonight.

Standing in front of my full length mirror, I nibble on my thumbnail as I take in my appearance. I've settled on an off the shoulder flowy white top with bell sleeves, and a pair of dark brown trousers that were a bit cropped at the bottom, so I rolled them up a little more. It looked formal enough, but was still casual so it didn't look like I was trying too hard.

I straightened my hair for the first time in a while, and I also put on a little more makeup than usual. It had been a while since I had gone out at all, so I was planning on making the most of it.

Catching sight of the clock out of the corner of my eye, I realize it's half past ten. "Shit," I hiss, quickly turning to dig through my shoes in my closet to find a pair.

I decide on a pair of all white platform Vans authentics, pulling them on quickly before grabbing my jacket and my purse - throwing them onto my body as well. Racing out of my apartment, I turn around to lock it up as fast as possible before I'm heading down the street.

Thankfully it hasn't gotten too cold yet given that it's early November, but today is a bit windy, and it's drizzling - it definitely makes it feel cooler than it is. I pull my hood over my head and shove my hands into my pockets to keep them warm, although I won't be walking very far.

I had tried all day at work to keep my nerves at bay, and thankfully I had a day packed with clients so I was able to keep tonight off of my mind for the most part. This was the first time Harry and I would be around each other without my mother or Gwen watching our every move, and I hope that we can fall back into the same routine.

I just have to make sure that I remember to keep that barrier up between us.

My thumbnail swipes across my cuticle in my pocket as I walk, and I'm nibbling on my lower lip out of stress. I just don't want Harry's night to get ruined because of me coming. I'd feel so awful, and guilty if that were to happen. I just have to hope that Gwen really does stick to her word, and that she won't make a big deal about me coming.

I approach the bar and pull the door open, immediately putting my hood down as I step into the main area. My eyes search over the crowd to spot Harry, Gavin or Lance, but I'm having no such luck. There's a couple different rooms to this bar, so I'm guessing they must be in one of those that's off the side of the main room. I turn my body to make my way through the mass of people, heading towards the room to the left first as I know that's where the dart boards are, as well as the pool tables.

Finally I make my way into the new area, and I catch sight of Gavin. He's facing my direction, and I see a large smile appear on his face once we make eye contact. "Carter!"

Harry's back is to me, and he immediately whips his head around. He sends me the boyish grin that I'm so familiar with - causing my heart to flutter. There's still a good amount of people between myself and the table they've seemed to take over, but I notice that Lance is starting to make his way through the crowd to me.

"No fucking way," he chuckles as he throws his arms around me.

I laugh as I wrap my arms around him as well. "I haven't seen you in forever!"

Soon Gavin appears beside him, and I give him a large hug before we head towards the table to join Harry and his friends from Holmes Chapel - Lance's arm around my shoulders. I send a soft smile over to Harry's friends as I shrug my jacket off. I place my purse onto the table as Gavin takes my jacket, and I see he puts it on the back of the barstool with his own.

I've yet to look over at Harry since I've gotten to the table, and it's mostly because I noticed how good he looks as soon as I set my eyes on him. He's wearing a rainbow striped shirt with a pair of light washed blue jeans that are flared. Looking down at our feet, I notice that he's also wearing white Vans authentics, and I take in a deep breath - the small coincidence having me feel a certain way.

"What do you want to drink, Carter? I was just going to get a round," Lance says, and I purse my lips as I stand on my tiptoes to peer over his shoulder so I can see the beer taps.

"I'll just take a Modelo for now, please," I respond, and he gives me a nod before heading towards the bar.

I figure it's best to stick to beer for my main drink since I'm sure we'll be doing plenty of shots, and I tend to last longer on these kinds of nights if I choose not to drink a cocktail in between.

"Hey," I hear Harry's voice, and I finally look up to meet his sage eyes. "I thought you maybe weren't going to show for a second there."

He laughs softly, and I shake my head. "I told you I wanted to be here for you. I wouldn't miss this after telling you I'd be here. Time just got away from me a little bit."

He nods before stepping forward to wrap his arms around me. I close my eyes and sigh softly as I nuzzle my face into his chest. My arms find their way around his waist like normal, and I can feel his cheek pressing to the top of my head. I hate how at peace I feel when I'm in his embrace like this. We haven't hugged like this since the engagement party, and it's almost embarrassing how much I've missed it.

"Oh, I'm being so rude," I hear Harry say as we pull apart, but he keeps one of his arms around my torso as he turns us to face his two friends that I've yet to meet. "Carter, this is Ross and Shane, my friends from back home that I was telling you about."

"Hi, it's so nice to meet you," I tell them, reaching one my hands out to give them each a proper greeting.

"It's nice to finally meet the infamous Carter," I hear Ross say, and I feel heat rising in my cheeks. "Felt like I already had, especially in the college years since you're all this one wanted to talk about."

He points his finger at Harry as he speaks, and I look up to see Harry blushing as well. "I talked about other things," he tries to say, but I hear Shane scoff as well.

"Yeah, okay," he says jokingly. "We both know that's a lie."

We're interrupted by Lance coming back with a tray of drinks - passing them out to each of us just as we ordered. I see that there's six shots in the middle of the tray as well and he nods to them. "Everyone grab a shot," he says before looking over at me. "We were waiting until you were here to get the first round of them."

"You guys didn't need to do that," I say, but I'm still smiling at the kind gesture. "Thank you though."

"It wasn't complete without you here," Harry shrugs as he holds my eyes - both of us with a shot glass in hand.

I don't know what to say back, and I'm fortunate that Gavin begins to speak. "Shots in the air everyone! Cheers to Harry's last big night out as a bachelor!"

We all cheers our shots together following by tapping them on the table below before tipping them back to our mouths. I wince as the liquor coats my tongue, and I swallow quickly to get the taste away as quickly as possible while reaching out for my beer. I gulp down a few good sips of it before the taste seems to dull.

"How out of commission are you, Carter? You used to drink those shots like they were water," Lance comments, and I reach my hand out to press against his cheek - pushing his face away.

"I'll leave right now if you're not nice to me," I threaten, and Harry is quick to gasp.

"Absolutely not," he says and I feel his arm snake around my waist before he's pulling me into his side. "Stop bullying Carter. She can't leave."

I stick my tongue out playfully at Lance as I curl into Harry's side, holding the pint glass in both of my hands. Gavin rolls his eyes at us before speaking.

"Here we go," he shakes his head. "Just like old times - no one fuck with Carter or else you're going to deal with Harry."

"Damn fucking straight," Harry says, holding his own beer towards me, and I smirk before tapping my glass against his.

We each take another sip of our drinks, and I notice that Harry hasn't made any movement to remove his arm from around my waist. I glance down to my side where his fingers are resting - watching as they slightly curl around my hip as he starts talking to both Ross and Shane.

I can feel a shiver run up my spine at the sensation it brings as his thumb glides over my hip bone, causing me to suck in a deep breath through my nose. This touch wasn't something out of the ordinary for us, but I had gone months without having this sort of contact with him. The absence of it was causing this moment to feel bigger than it was, and I was cursing myself internally for the way it was affecting me.

Every part of me is telling me to move away, and to let his arm fall back by his side, but I can't. It's so selfish, and I know it means way more to me to have him hold me like this. I just keep remembering that this is probably it. So, I'll take a bit of Kieran's advice for tonight, and I'll be a little selfish.

Without trying to think too much into it, I curl into Harry's side even more as I take another sip of my beer as I keep my eyes on both Ross and Shane. They're talking about how Harry is planning a trip to come to Holmes Chapel a few months after the wedding, and I find myself cringing when they bring up Gwen going with him as well. The mention of her name almost has me pulling away from Harry, but I remain.

As Harry is talking to Ross and Shane, I'm keeping up the conversation with both Gavin and Lance. I hadn't seen them in a few years, so it was nice to know what they had been up to since the last time we saw each other.

"Okay, let's take a group photo here at the table, and then there's a photo booth near the pool tables that we can take pictures in too," Lance says as he puts some of our beer glasses together onto the table to create a makeshift phone stand before doing a self-timer.

We step back from the table a bit so that we're all in the frame, and as much as I hate it, I make it a point to stand between Gavin and Lance instead of standing next to Harry. I know this photo will end up on social media, and I know that Gwen would probably blow Harry's phone up if she saw us standing in the photo next to each other.

Once we click a few pictures on Lance's phone, we gather our stuff and head over to the pool tables as the guys are talking about playing a few games. The first game was Ross and Shane against Gavin and Lance, so Harry and I stood against the wall as we sipped our beers. I was almost out, and so was he.

"Do you want me to grab you another?" I ask, looking up at him with the inside of my cheek between my teeth.

"Yeah, in a minute. Do you want to go in the photo booth? We can snap some pictures just the two of us before we take the group ones," Harry suggests, pointing over to it. "And then we can get another round."

I smile up at him, finishing up the rest of my beer as we place our empty glasses down onto the table that was near us. "That sounds like a good plan."

Harry places his hand on my lower back as we maneuver through the people to get to the photo booth, and then we step inside. I raise my eyebrows when I realize it's larger than your typical one, but you stand instead of sitting down. I watch as Harry swipes his card to start the machine, and then he goes to adjust the camera.

"Well good thing I wore my platforms today," I joke as he tries to get the right angle to get both of us since I come up just short of his shoulder. "This would be a much worse situation if I hadn't."

Harry chuckles as he gets the camera into a good spot, and then he presses the start button. I move closer to his side as I feel his arm wrap around me. Just before the first picture clicks, Harry pulls me closer and lifts me off the ground so that I'm in the frame better.

I let out a squeal as I was caught completely off guard, and I'm quick to wrap my arms around his neck. He looks up at me, his bunny teeth on full display as he breaks out into a fit of laughter. I'm looking down at him with wide eyes, and soon I'm laughing right along with him as the next picture snaps.

"Wait, hold on, let me get on your back," I state, and he puts me down quickly so I can get behind him.

With my hands securely on his shoulders, he bends down and I straddle his lower back. He lifts up while I lean my head down so my face is right next to his - cheeks pressed together. We're still dying down from our giggles as the next picture goes off. I get a little brave, and I move my hands down from his shoulders to where my hands are now pressed to the center of his chest.

Harry pulls his cheek away from mine to look up at me, and he's still wearing a big smile as we're staring into each other's eyes. At this moment, I've forgotten all about the fact that we're taking pictures. I'm so drawn in by the look that he's giving me with that expression on his face - my pulse quickening just by looking at him.

The final picture snaps, and the flash draws us both of the trance we seemed to have been in. He lowers me to the ground carefully, but instead of letting me walk away, Harry places both of his hands on my hips as he continues to stare down at me.

"I'm really happy that you came, Carter," there's such sincerity to his voice, and I can tell he means every word as he speaks them. "It just feels right having you here. It's like everything about the night is complete."

Lifting a hand up, I do what I've always done. It was a habit I told myself to break, but tonight I choose to break that rule instead. I run my fingers through the front of his curls to move them off his forehead as I tilt my head to the side.

"I'm happy I came too, H. It's been really nice so far."

We move out of the photo booth to collect our photos from the drop, and we're immediately laughing over them. There's two copies so we each take one. I'm quick to put mine into my purse so I don't misplace it, and Harry puts his in the inner pocket of his jacket.

"Another beer?" I ask him with raised eyebrows, and he nods as we begin to head towards the bar.

Once we're at the bar, I feel Harry hook his index and middle finger into one of my belt loops, and I look down at them for a moment. This was something he picked up on doing when we were in college so that we wouldn't lose each other in large crowds, and the longer we've been at this bar tonight the larger the crowd has grown.

The bartender comes over, and I'm quick to lean forward against the surface so he can hear me over both the music, and the voices. I order Harry and I another round of beers as well as a round of shots for our group. I back off the bar a bit as I look over to Harry, and I can see that he's just staring at me with an unreadable expression.

"What?" I laugh, biting down on my bottom lip.

He shakes his head, but he doesn't make any signs of looking away. "Nothing. Just..."

Harry trails off, and I tilt my head to the side. "Just?"

I may be mistaken, but it's almost like I feel Harry's fingers closing down even more around my belt loop, as if he wants to pull me closer, but we're interrupted by a call of my name.

Looking over my shoulder, I'm met with Duncan and a few of the other guys from the shop. "Oh my god, hi," I pull away from Harry as I walk over to them, giving each of them a hug. "What are you guys doing here?"

"Just stopping by for a couple of beers after a show we were at," Duncan says. "How about you?"

"Oh, I'm here for Harry's bachelor party," I say, stepping back to place my hand between Harry's shoulder blades. "You guys remember him, right? I've tattooed him a few times."

Duncan nods and steps forward, extending his hand out to Harry. "Yeah, I remember," he nods. "Nice to see you again, and congratulations on the wedding."

"Thanks, mate," Harry shakes Duncan's hand, giving a small wave to the other guys as well.

"I've got your next round of shots, alright?" Duncan asks.

"Oh, we just ordered-"

"I'll tell them to put it on my tab, and just tell them Duncan has it covered the next time you order some," Duncan interrupts me, and I smile.

"Thank you," Harry speaks up. "You didn't have to do that."

"Not a problem, man. Enjoy your night."

Duncan and the guys head off just as the bartender places our beers down, as well as a small tray with the shots on it. I pull my card out of my pocket so that I can properly start a tab for myself, and the bartender takes it - telling me they'll give it right back.

"No Alfie tonight?" Harry asks, and I let out a hefty sigh.

"He's closing up the shop. We stay open until midnight on the weekends for piercings" I state, already chugging down a few sips of beer. "And I've told you, Harry, it's not like that."

I hardly hear Harry's hum in response due to the volume around us, but I still pick up on it. The bartender comes back over to return my card, and I thank them as I grab the tray of shots while Harry takes my beer for me.

We walk back over to the other guys while Harry's chest is practically pressing against my back. He's not able to grab me in any way since both of his hands are full, so I know he's trying to keep as close as possible.

"Here we go guys!" I announce as I set the tray down on the table.

Just like before, we each take a shot and down them before the others return to their game.

I prop myself up onto the high bar stool that was by our table, and Harry drapes his arm across the back of it. "Carter."

Looking away from the intense game of pool between our friends, I look up into his eyes. "Yes?"

"Thank you for being my best friend," he exhales before running his tongue along the inside of his cheek. "I don't know what I would've done without you these past few years."

I set my beer down on the table and place my hands on his shoulders. "I don't know how I possibly would've survived without you, Harry. I'm so grateful for you."

The corner of Harry's lips twitch into a soft smile, but it doesn't meet his eyes.

"Hey, you two!" Gavin's voice sounds off, and I drop my hands away from Harry as I look over for him. "Shane and Ross lost, so it's the two of you against us."

"Do I have to?" I groan, pushing myself off my bar stool.

"Yeah, does she have to? You guys know she sucks at pool," Harry says as he walks behind me, and I turn around to slap the back of my hand against his chest.

"Don't be a fucking dick."

Harry chuckles as we approach the table, and we each take a pool cue. "You guys will give us some slack since it's my bachelor party, right?"

Lance rolls his eyes. "Yeah, sure...absolutely not."

I giggle at this answer as I hold my pool cue to my chest.

Tonight feels like old times, and I don't think that I realized I missed it as much as I do until just now.

⋆★★⋆

"See you guys in a few weeks!" I call out after Gavin and Lance as they head down the street towards the hotel they had booked not too far away from the bar.

Shane and Ross had left about an hour ago, both jetlagged from the flight as they just got in today. They would be staying here until the wedding, but they were going to be doing some traveling in our surrounding states since it was their first time in the US.

Harry and I now stand together outside of the building, and I look up to see him with a concerned look on his face as he stares down at his phone.

"Everything okay?" I ask.

"Ubers are so fucking expensive right now. The surge has the price way up there. It's almost 70 dollars for me to get home," he shakes his head. "Let me check Lyft."

I stay quiet as he does so, and he huffs out a groan. "Almost the same price."

Pursing my lips to the side, I choose my next words very carefully. "Well...how about you come back to mine? You can hang out until the surge ends, or you can stay the night. I don't care either way."

Harry looks over at me for a moment before he shakes his head. "I wouldn't want to impose."

"Oh, fuck off with that," I say, hooking one of my arms around his. "It's not imposing when you're my best friend. Now put your phone away and let's walk."

We start down the sidewalk, and I'm starting to feel the effects of the liquor I've drank tonight. I wasn't obliterated by any means, but I was definitely feeling the alcohol. Harry tucks his phone into his pocket, and he keeps me close as we walk.

"Did you have fun tonight?" I ask, resting my cheek against his bicep.

"I did. It was all I could've asked for, really. How about you?"

I nod in response. "I think I probably had the best time I've had in a while with everyone tonight. It's so wild to me that Lance and Grace are having a baby."

"Oh my god, I know," Harry gasps. "We make some pretty good matchmakers, huh?"

I giggle at his statement, curling more into him due to the harsh winds. "We really do."

Harry and I had set Grace and Lance up together during our final year of college. We knew they both were attracted to each other, but neither of them would make the first move. We took it upon ourselves to plan a hangout with just the four of us without telling them. At first Grace and Lance were a bit irritated, but after an hour of us all talking, it was like we had all known each other forever.

"I would say maybe I'm a little better though," I blurt out, squeezing Harry's arm into my chest. "I set you and Gwen up too technically."

It's quiet between us for a few moments before Harry speaks. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

We walk into the building of my apartment, and once we approach my door I unlock it. We head inside, both of us toeing off our shoes and shedding our jackets. "Did you want anything else to drink? I have some tequila."

"Yeah, bring the bottle over to the couch. We can just take turns swigging from it - if that's okay with you," Harry says, and I nod.

Harry plops down onto my couch, and I can see that he's manspreading out of the corner of my eye. I let my eyes dwell for just a moment before I look away - heading into the kitchen. I push onto my tiptoes to grab my bottle of tequila off the top of the fridge, and then I fill up two glasses with water. I skillfully tuck the tequila under my arm so I can bring everything over to the couch without catastrophe, and I thankfully succeed.

Smiling at Harry, I put both waters down on the coffee table with the bottle of tequila in the middle. I collapse onto the couch beside him, and I look over to him with what I know is a drunken smile on my face.

"You should just stay the night," I tell him. "Like old times. One last old time, yeah?"

If I wasn't mistaken, I see something almost resembling pain when I speak those words, but Harry quickly covers it up. "Okay, yeah, I'll stay."

"I can take the couch if you want to take my-"

"I'm not taking your bed, Carter," Harry shakes his head as he reaches out to grab his glass of water. He gulps down half of it before setting it back down. "The couch is just fine. I've spent plenty of nights on it already."

"I know," I sigh, closing my eyes for a moment. "It's just...this is your night. I want it to be perfect for you."

The feeling of Harry's hand on my thighs forces me to become more aware, and I open my eyes to look over to him. "It's already been the most perfect night, I promise."

I hum as I look at him. "Well, I'm glad, H. You deserve it."

Sitting up on the couch better, I go to reach out for the tequila bottle at the same time as Harry, and we both break into a fit of giggles. "You do it," he instructs me.

I grab the bottle and pull out the cork before I shuffle onto my knees on the couch. I move closer to him, and I just let my body and mind do what they want for once when it comes to Harry these days. My hand wraps around the back of his neck, and I tilt my chin up.

"Head back," I move my torso so I'm practically hovering over him. "I'll pour it."

Harry keeps his eyes on mine as he does what I've asked. He parts his lips, and I tilt the tequila bottle so the liquor starts to drip into his mouth. I count slowly to five before I stop, but Harry is quick to swallow it all down.

"That's it?"

I roll my eyes playfully, and he snatches the bottle from me. "Your turn then."

My heart skips a bit as I lower my ass down onto the heels of my feet, and Harry moves around so he's over me just a bit. I open my mouth just as he did before I start to taste the tequila against my tongue. I breathe through my nose as the alcohol fills up, and once he stops, I swallow immediately. Groaning, I grab my water to chase it - shaking my head.

"This game sucks, why did I start it?" I choke out, and Harry lets out a loud laugh.

"It's not a game, flower," Harry sets the tequila bottle down. "We're just drinking."

Flower.

It's been years since he's called me that, and I'd honestly forgotten that he ever had. I don't dwell on it though - mostly due to my slightly intoxicated state.

"Can't believe you ever got me into tequila like this," I scold him, although I'm fully teasing. "You're my reason for many, many hangovers, Harry."

Harry reaches out and tugs at my septum piercing. "You love it, don't fucking lie."

I gasp at him, and I push back up onto my knees. "That's not fair. You don't have any piercings for me to get you back."

My eyes trace over his frame, and I smirk as I reach forward. I go to clamp my fingertips down around each of his nipples, but Harry's hands wrap around my wrists in an instant. I let out a yelp of surprise as he pulls them into his chest, and he shakes his head.

"You had four options for that, and you went with the main two? Playing it safe?"

I giggle, going to answer him, but I feel my nose knock against his as I tilt my head up to do so. I didn't realize just how close we were at the moment.

The alcohol is causing my head to swim, and I may be interpreting this all wrong, but I feel him lean in at the same time as me as we keep our sights on each other's eyes.

The next thing I know, our lips are connecting in a soft kiss.

There's a tingle that starts to evolve throughout my body as we keep the small connection - neither one of us really moving. We pull away, and the sound of our wet lips parting fills the room. I flutter my eyes open to look at Harry once again.

Opening my mouth, I go to apologize before I feel Harry's lips on mine once more, and as it deepens, his hands slide down to my forearms until they're dropping to my waist.

He hauls me into his lap, and soon the noises of our lips and tongues clashing against each other is all that bounces off the walls. I can feel my tongue ring rolling along the roof of his mouth as I tangle both sets of my fingers into the back of his curls. Our chests are flush together, and as much as I know this is wrong, the only thing I can think about at the moment is him.

The interaction becomes heated in just a few seconds, and I can feel Harry's fingertips digging into the small of my back from where my top has ridden up. I pull back as he ghosts his hand towards my stomach until he reaches the hem of my shirt. His eyes hold mine as if he's asking for permission, and I give him a nod. My arms raise above my head as he starts to lift my top off my body. He tosses it to the side, leaving me in my strapless bra as I tighten my thighs against his.

"Are you okay?" I ask, my chest heaving.

Harry's eyes look up from the revealed skin to look at my face, and he quickly nods. "Yeah, this is more than okay."

One of his large hands cups my face while the other drops to my thigh, and he pulls me down to connect our lips once more. His thumb swipes over my cheekbone as our tongues glide together.

My mind is absolutely racing, and as chaotic as it feels, I can only focus on how exactly I'm feeling. The one thing that I've wanted for so long is actually happening.

I feel Harry's hands all over me it seems. He caresses my body, treasuring it like I always knew that he would. I moan as I feel his palms encasing my covered breasts - resulting in me rolling my hips against his.

I tilt my head back with a gasp as Harry's lips trail down my jawline, and then my neck. His teeth nip at my collarbone before he works his way back up the side of my neck he didn't tend to before - lips journeying to find mine again.

Harry sucks my bottom lip between the two of his, and I moan. My eyes roll into the back of my head as I grip to his shoulders with an arched back.

"Harry," I whimper, his name muffled as he grazes his teeth along my tongue.

He soon runs his own tongue over mine to soothe the ache, and I can feel his bulge growing against my inner thigh. I trail my hands down his clothed stomach until my fingers grip to the hem of his shirt. He mimics my actions from before with his arms in the air, and I pull his shirt up and off his frame. I look down as I feel my palms in contact with muscles - my hands covering his defined abs.

"Holy shit," I'm dumbfounded at just how fit Harry has gotten. It's been years since I've seen him without a shirt, and even though he's always been very toned, this was another level.

His butterfly tattoo now accentuated his chiseled abs, and I could see the tips of the ferns peeking over the waistband of his jeans - his hips narrowing down into a 'v' shape below the denim. My hands can't stop smoothing across his torso, and I lean forward to have my lips mold against his.

As time goes on, the more I can feel my body heating up, and I want more.

I rock my hips against Harry's with more force, and a groan rattles within him that I feel vibrating back against my hands that are resting on his toned chest.

My lips venture away from his as I begin to tend to the skin of his neck like he did for me - his hands now securely on my hips as he keeps guiding me to grind on him.

"Oh, fuck," Harry moans before I begin to kiss him again.

My hands slide down to his jeans, and I undo the button and pull down his zipper as I lightly suck on the hinge of his jaw.

"That's it," he breathes. "Just like that, Gwen."

My movements cease, and it's like time completely stills as the name that isn't mine leaves his mouth.

I immediately feel tears burning in my eyes as I lift myself up to look at his face - his eyes still closed. After a moment, Harry flutters his eyes open, and he looks at me with confusion before I see the realization take over.

"Carter, I-"

"No, no," I shake my head, climbing off his lap, running a hand through my hair as I search for my shirt. I locate it and tug it over back onto my body as I wrap my arms around myself. "We shouldn't have done this anyway. That...we should just talk about it in the morning when we're sober."

"I didn't mean to, please, I don't want you to go to bed angry at me," Harry goes to reach out for me, but I move even further away.

"I'm telling you, Harry, the conversation needs to happen when we're both in a better state of mind," I tell him. "You know where everything is to get yourself situated."

Racing into my bedroom, I shut the door and press my back against it as I try to catch my breath. I can feel the tears streaming down my cheeks, and I give it a moment so I can gather myself before I walk into my ensuite. I've never been more thankful for having a full bathroom in my actual room until this moment.

I strip my clothes off after turning the shower on, and once the water is scalding hot, I step underneath it. I let it wash over me as I cover my face with my hands - reflecting on what just happened.

I just made out with Harry. My best friend. My sister's fiancé. The man I'm truly in love with, but he doesn't even know. The man who doesn't love me back in that same way.

Gasping to catch my breath due to how overwhelmed I was getting, I reach out to grab the bar of soap, and I start to lather my body. I continue to rub the bar over my skin again and again until I'm starting to truly scrub.

What Harry and I did just now was so wrong, and I need to scrub his touch off of me.

I exit the shower with bright red skin, and I change into my pajamas before I begin to brush my teeth. I stare at myself in the mirror as I do so - pressing a little harder tonight against my gums than I usually do.

His taste is still on me, and I need to rid myself of it.

Once I finish up in the bathroom, I collapse into my bed. I pull the covers completely over my body to hide myself away. As much as I don't feel like I could get sleep after what just happened, I know the alcohol is playing a factor into me feeling tired, and I drift off to sleep.

⋆★★⋆

The next morning, I'm woken up by a muffled voice outside of my bedroom door. I groan as I glance at my phone on the nightstand, and I see it's only a little past ten in the morning. Slipping out from under the covers, I rub my palm into one of my eyes as I open the bedroom door. I recognize the voice as Harry's, and I can tell that he's on the phone with someone.

"I was at Carter's, Gwen. I was going to get an Uber but they were super expensive, and I had one too many drinks at the pub and couldn't drive. I-"

I knew how Gwen could be if she was accusing you of something. I knew that's what she was doing to Harry right now.

She hardly allowed you to speak. It's been that way my whole life. Whether she was trying to say I took a shirt from her closet, or that I misplaced her favorite lipstick - she would always get out what she wanted to say first before hearing anything else.

"You don't believe that I'm actually here at her place right now? Do you want me to go and wake her up because I can? Where else would I-"

I can now hear Harry shuffling around my living room which makes it a little harder to hear the conversation. I'm sure he's trying to gather his things.

"Yeah, I'm about to leave right now. I'll take an Uber back to my car. I'll see you soon."

I give it a few more seconds before I make my presence completely known, and I walk out into the living room to see Harry already by my door - slipping into his shoes.

"Are you already-"

Harry cuts me off before I can even finish my sentence. "I'm sorry, I have to go. Gwen is pissed, and she's not going to hear me out until we're face to face."

I look down at my hands at I fiddle with my fingers, brushing my thumbnail against my cuticle out of a nervous habit. "I was going to fix us breakfast, and then I was going to drive you back to your car at the bar."

"I appreciate that, Carter, but I can't stay. I'll...I'll talk to you later."

I look up just in time as Harry slips out the door, and I feel my heart sink into my stomach.

He didn't even look at me once before he left.

[oops-all-concrete]

Hello lovelies, 💘HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!💘

I'm back with more BG3 headcanons! Today's prompt is;

💕Modern AU; Ways the BG3 (romanced) companions are idyllicly sweet with Tav!💕

No spoilers! Tags are; A whole heckin lot of fluff and cuteness!

Lae'zel -

You have to be careful with what you say around Lae'zel. Made a minor comment 3 months ago that you wanted to revisit somewhere in the Sword Coast? Get packing, you guys are all booked to go. Asked Lae'zel to get you candy on the way home? She has 3 full bags. Say that comment her folks made last time you visited made you uncomfortable- you have a paragraph text apology from all of them the next day. She's not just someone who wants to spoil Tav, she fucking will. (If Tav manages to talk her out of going nuts with the pampering, she's surprisingly sentimental. You bet she keeps a rock in her pocket that reminds her of Tav)

Shadowheart -

She is so excited to post you. She doesn't like social media and tends to keep to herself, but after watching Tav post pictures of them both, she wanted to do the same. The minute she gets even the smallest romantic gesture, she's scrapbooking, she has a wall of Polaroids joined by a horde of hand made sketches, she's putting together little snack baskets and mailing them to Tav, she's about as obviously head over heels as a person can be, really. She's always got a camera aimed at Tav, even if they're just for her. (A good 90% are just for her eyes)

Wyll -

This man never plays games/gets online with both sides of the headphones in. It doesn't matter if the game is online, offline, urgent, time sensitive, dependent on his concentration- if Tav so much as makes a peep, he's out of his seat and across the room. Hells, he takes every chance he gets to go give Tav some attention. In the drift of leaving the waking world, Tav will definitely hear a little "One minute, Tav needs me" despite them not asking. Some footsteps. And then moments later, the warmth of the duvet being tucked all over their body and a gentle kiss to the cheek. Whispered "I love you"s and then a quiet. "I'm going to hop off for a few hours." So you can have some quiet.

Karlach -

She's one of those people that really makes you realise you have good taste in other people. Like, you can't think of a time you went on a walk and she didn't pick up some trash, help an elderly person across the street, immediately offer her seat to a pregnant woman. No matter how prideful Tav might be or not, there's a pride in the admiring looks other people give her. Little girls pass in the street and say "mum, I want to be like her when I grow up!" Everything she does makes Tav proud to be with her, yet somehow Tav is always the one under a spotlight to her. "Oh, me and my partner-" this. "Oh, my partner-" that. "I'm so proud of my Tav. Ugh, I am so lucky" she insists at every turn.

Gale -

He's a night owl, much to Tara's dismay. Wether that's because he can't sleep, he likes being awake in the dark hours or- his brain won't stop nattering at him for a gods damned minute, but either way. He's probably working, quietly cleaning, organising Tavs things so they don't have to worry. In quiet moments, between possibly making them breakfast because of course he's up that early- he's just kissing Tav on the forehead, gently, trying not to wake them. He needs them to sleep but there is not a moment in his day where he doesn't think: "Does Tav know I love them? Can I remind them once more? Even if its just for my peace of mind?" Because he will not rest if he has an inkling his live for Tav isn't at the forefront of their mind.

Astarion -

If you even suggest to this man that you should do matching outfits, he's excited. He always wants to take the wheel, but also wants Tav to have a foot in the idea. He will give ideas left and right, opinions up and down. He doesn't care if it's a date or not, cringe solstice photos, or just gym clothes, he's all for it. If you guys didn't have matching pyjamas already, you have them now, congrats. (If he's still a bloodsucker, he'll definitely still go out of his way to learn how to cook for Tav. Tokyo Ghoul rules though, so Tav gets to taste test a lot. Only the best for his little capri-sun) Overall he's just unashamed and excited to be with someone who very obviously wants to be his, visibly as possible.

(Bonus Halsin!)

Halsin -

This man lives for shared activity. He's quite alright on his own and can allow Tav their space, but going to get massages, haircuts/styles, wine tasting is his total vibe. Just relaxed gatherings together. Nobody lives a spa day like this man. It allows a level of intimacy that nature intends. Cleansing. Careful. Close. He will learn how to do Tavs hair and makeup if asked. Will take pleasure in being able to undress them and put them to bed at the end of a long day. Go on hikes and camping trips, walks through the woods, carving names into rocks and bringing back souvenirs to press into a book that's only getting thicker.

[swiftllama]

December Compliments ☀️🔍

[Compliments Masterlist]

And so we have reached the last Compliments Post of 2023! Can’t believe we’re here and everything the last 6 months have brought us - it’s been a whirlwind! I shall ramble more at the end of this post, but for right now, let’s get into it :-

December 2023

MY DEAD FRIEND (BTS & Livestream)

To kick off the month we were blessed with what I would consider my favourite sketch of the year, and of course along with that we also got…

Bloopers: My Dead Friend

Ian and Anthony were ON ONE in this, it was wild! Not that I’m complaining!

-

I&A: [discussing Anthony carrying Ian in the sketch]

Anthony: “And now we’re going to learn what it’s like for me to hold you, to cradle you like a baby while I’m wearing this stuff [his costume].”

Ian: “Yeah, you seem to really want to do that…”

Anthony: “I do really want to do that. I’ve written it into every sketch and this is the first one that finally made it to camera.”

I mean… WHAT!? Anthony’s written himself carrying Ian into every script 👀 Well glad your wishes came true Anthony - hope you get to do it again!

-

Anthony: [climbing up trees to remove wind chimes]

Ian: “Be careful Anthony.”

Anthony: [removes them and passes them down to Ian] “Wow, we’re domesticated.”

Yes, yes you are 🤭

-

Then came the moment of Anthony (and us) had all been waiting for - Anthony carrying Ian 🙌

So they tried a few different ways before settling on the one that was in the sketch (bridal/baby style), and Anthony was being so cute reassuring Ian that he could carry him ☺️

Anthony: [lifts Ian up over his shoulders]

Ian’s: “Ohhhh goooo-ohhhh.”

Anthony: “I got you bud.”

…

Anthony: “Jump.” [lifts Ian bridal style] “Also easy.”

Only reason Anthony works out is so he can carry Ian 😜

…

Anthony: [carrying Ian over his shoulders again and finds out Ian didn’t want matcha today] “Wait, I’m not carrying a matcha girlie right now?”

Ian: “No, there’s no matcha girlie today.”

Anthony: “You get down.” [sets Ian down on the ground]

Ian: [pouts] “But I want uppies.”

Ian perpetuating the bby girl title once again 💁‍♀️

-

Okay, now what to say about the ending of this BTS… I can’t describe it as anything other than Ian and Anthony just basically flirting for 5 minutes 🤭

I&A: [smiling at each other]

Anthony: “Don’t get near me.”

Ian: “What?”

Anthony: “I know you’re trying to…”

Erin: “He still has it doesn’t he?”

Anthony: “Yeah he has it, he’s trying to put it in my pocket.”

…

Ian: [continuing to mess about trying to put the thing into Anthony’s pocket]

Anthony: “Do you think that I don’t notice when you’re touching inside my pocket?”

…

Ian: [laughs]

Anthony: “What is so goddamn funny?”

Ian: [still laughing] “Nothing…”

Anthony: [tries to talk about the sketch] “-why do you keep looking down all weird?”

Ian: [laughing] “What…?”

Anthony: “What’s in your hand?” [tries to grab Ian’s hand] “What’s in your hand?! Drop it!”

Ian: “What?”

Anthony: “Drop it!

Ian: “What?”

Anthony: “What’s in your hand?”

Ian: “Nothing’s in my hand…. Nothing’s in my hand…” [shows empty hand] “Nothing’s in my hand.”

Anthony: “This guy has some weird shit in his hand.”

Ian: “There’s nothing in my hand!”

Anthony: “I’m watching where your hands go.”

…

Ian: [flings what he was holding into Anthony’s costume and points at it] “What’s in there? What’s that?”

Anthony: [shaking his head] “Wow I could have never seen this coming.”

Ian: “What’s there?”

Anthony: “I can’t believe it, the thing I put in your pocket is suddenly- I can’t reach it cause my arms don’t reach, don’t move that much. I literally can’t reach it because…”

Ian: “This thing?” [reaches into Anthony’s chest to pull it out] “I can’t get it, it’s gone forever.”

Anthony: “Some good exclusive members only content right there.”

Ian: “Just violently groping you.”

Anthony: “Yeah, I will not say how hard my nipple is or is not.”

Ian: “Okay…. Well thank you guys so much for watching, thank you so much for supporting this…”

I&A: [laughs]

Anthony: “Smoshtastic and Smosh Royalty members we could not do this without you.”

Ian: “We cannot do- we cannot violently grope each other without you.”

Anthony: “And I know that’s what you came here- I know that’s why you paid $5 to $10 a month.”

And maybe it is Anthony! It’s money well spent! But seriously, that last section of the BTS was a gem! ✨

MY DEAD FRIEND Watch Party

Of course also on sketch Fridays we get a livestream and so this was just a few moments from said livestream that I took as complimentary :-

-

Ian: [trying to click something away on the computer] “I don’t know how to put this- get this away.”

Anthony: “Oh yeah, now Ian’s clicking- just click in the text box.” [points on screen on what to do]

Ian: “Oh yeah. Yeah, you’re smart.”

Just a cute little moment I wanted to include 😊

-

[discussing Ian’s birthday but then get distracted talking about BTS content]

Anthony: “Anyways, I’m seeing lots of references aside-” [places hand on Ian’s shoulder] “Do you want to speak anything more about your birthday, birthday boy?”

Okay but Anthony stopping mid-sentence when he realised they’d got distracted and moved on from Ian talking about his birthday and checking in incase he wanted to say something else 🥹 he’s so cute!!

-

[Chat question: Was it fun carrying Ian?]

Anthony: “Yeah. Did you watch the bloopers? Cause it shows in the bloopers that I tried to do all these different carrying positions…”

Ian: “Uh huh.”

Anthony: “But the baby- I wanted to cradle you like a baby, it’s funniest.”

Ian: “Yeah, it was good.”

Anthony: “It was fun. He’s good- he’s a good… he’s a good object to be carried.”

Ian: “Thank you. Oh my gosh.” [places hand over heart] “He called me an object, guys. Thank you.”

Okay know they’re kinda joking about here, but Anthony’s dug himself this hole that he enjoys carrying Ian so I couldn’t not include them referencing it again.

-

[talking about Amanda’s character in the sketch having a horrible date with Ian but still having a good time]

Anthony: “I think she’s just looking for a fun guy who’s willing to switch things up, and you, you really do, you provide that.”

Just Anthony complimenting Ian on being a fun date 👀

And that was it for this livestream! Moving on…

Is Anthony Nervous For His Funeral Roast? | Smosh Mouth

So Anthony was a guest on Smosh Mouth again, this time along with Courtney to discuss his upcoming funeral, and during the podcast they also spoke about Ian (of course) :-

Courtney: [talking about how the funeral, along with all the roasts are, is a celebration of the person in the casket]

Anthony: “Thank you. Thank you. I feel like it is, it’s not just me though. It’s a testament to both Ian and I coming together and reflecting on the beginnings of Smosh and what made it so special. And a huge part of that was Ian and I being able to just have fun together as friends, try to make each other laugh, be passionate about creating little fun projects, getting people excited about little dumb jokes and fun moments. And that’s, you know, going into working with everyone here. That’s what I really wanted to push, is for everyone to have the same kind of freedom to be passionate about creating funny, little dumb things together…”

He’s such a sweetie 🥰

-

[asking Anthony what he’s most nervous about for the roast]

Anthony: “Honestly, anytime that I’m roasted about something, even if it’s a little uncomfortable for a moment, I feel actually better about it because it’s not something that’s like not spoken about. Kinda like when Ian and I first came together on camera, and where like I’m reading my angry letter to him and stuff like that. Like, it was uncomfortable for me to see the things that I wrote 6 years earlier. I’m sure it was uncomfortable for him to hear some of that stuff, but because it was out in the open it made it feel like it wasn’t a taboo subject that couldn’t be spoken about anymore. And what’s interesting is that Ian and my friendship started deteriorating because there was so much pressure from every angle to work so much that we didn’t have any line of communication anymore. And I feel like if back then we had ways to even incorporate it into our work like it is now, then we would’ve had a closer friendship outside of work too. And it’s interesting that there are now these outlets for everyone here to kind of get stuff just out there and said. And it doesn’t feel like anything’s really too taboo to talk about within our group.”

Again, he’s so cute. But also bringing up what Ian and his friendship needed back in the day, knowing that they have that now will never not just be the nicest thought and something I’m so happy they now have ☺️

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Shayne: “Who are you most nervous about as far as roasts? Like, is there a person you’re most afraid of?”

Anthony: “Umm… Yeah. Ian. I think he’s gonna go hardest cause he’s known me for so long.”

[Others discussing who they think will go the hardest]

Anthony: “I do think I am afraid of Ian’s most only because we have 20 plus years of history. So he can go anywhere.”

Shayne: “That’s true… Are you worried about him bringing back something up from like middle school or something?”

Anthony: “I have preemptively decided to bring up some stuff from our earliest years because I think he will do the same for me, so I have decided that is where I’m gonna go with some of these.”

[Others saying how they’re excited]

Amanda: “Okay, so Ian is the one that you’re most nervous about. And I guess Ian should be most nervous about you because damn.”

Anthony: “Honestly, yeah.” [points to the camera] “Ian, if you’re watching this, watch out. I hope your roasts are better than mine. I hope they go deeper. I hope you found something that I can’t remember. Likely not.” [taps side of head] “I got everything in here.”

Love how Anthony brings up Ian here, even with it being in the context of him being nervous for Ian’s roasts, Ian’s still on his mind. Even when the others were putting out other people who they think will go hard on him, Anthony still reiterated that Ian’s roast was the one he was most afraid of, and also how cute him bringing up twice how long they’ve known each other 😊

Reacting to Our Best Funeral Roasts

So another bit of promo they did for the Funeral was this livestream with Courtney, Shayne, and Tommy where they complied a list of some of their favourite past previous funeral roast moments that Anthony hadn’t seen for him to react to, to give him a taste of what he’d experienced at his own.

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During the live they also had a board up with different incentives that would be unlocked depending on how many tickets they sold.

One of the incentives was that a fan submitted tweet would be posted off Anthony’s account. They quickly passed this incentive and went through a lot of different options before settling on the one that was tweeted, which was…

You heard it folks, Anthony loves his Ianussy 😏

-

Another cute little moment they had was when they were down to their last two cans they opened each others and then interlocked arms to eat cause besties! ✨

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[Reacting to Ian’s funeral counter-roast and Ian saying to Courtney that “after Anthony left [she] stepped up and became the new person who shuts down every single idea [he] has.”]

Anthony: “I still don’t get that one cause I never shut down your ideas, Ian! You’re going to have to explain yourself at some point.”

Oop 🤭

Poor Anthony hates that bit so much, it isn’t the first time it’s been brought up 😅 HE WANTS EVERYONE TO KNOW HE BIGS IAN’S IDEAS UP 😤 His No1 supporter!

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[reacting to Ian’s [REDACTED] bit from Noah’s funeral]

Anthony: “That’s round of applause worthy.” [clapping] “That was really good. That was definitely my favourite bit I’ve seen so far. That was so good.”

Of course Ian’s bit would be his favourite ☺️

-

Coming to the end of the live, they were wrapping up and saying their thank yous and goodbyes, and Anthony had one last thing to say :-

Anthony: “The world knows now that I love my Ianussy.”

I mean, we been knew 😌😉

PARANORMAL EASY BAKE OVEN (Flashback)

Time for another Flashback with Smosh! This time reacting to the classic sketch Paranormal Easy Bake Oven.

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My favourite editor was pulling it out the bag as always on this eps - bless you Kortney 🙌

[Ian eating a taco]

Anthony: “Oh, Ian’s going ham on them already. Oh.” [catches packets of sauce being flung to him]

Obessed with this!^^

Anthony: “Do you want, would you like some hot taco sauce? It’s for a hot taco.”

Ian: “I am a hot taco.”

Anthony: “Yeah.”

Ian: [reading what the packet says] “It’s hot for taco.”

Anthony: “Oh.”

Ian: “You thought it said it’s for a hot taco?”

Anthony: “Yeah.”

Poor Anthony. Your attempts at flirting were still good, babes. I’m sure Ian appreciated it 😘

You can also find a clip of this moment I posted at the time here.

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[Reacting to the scene where we find out Anthony just wants Ian to sleep in his room]

Anthony: “What was the joke we were even getting at? Like, it was kind of a throwaway joke. I have no idea if we were implying that… I want you to sleep next to me?”

Ian: “Yeah, I think you just wanted a friend.”

Anthony: “Aw, I just want a friend.”

Ian: “To sleep next to you.”

Anthony: “Yeah.”

Ian: “You had your stuffed animals, and then you wanted your best friend in the bed too.”

Anthony: “Yeah, of course.”

Aw Anthony, you just wanna sleep next to your best friend 🤗

I spent a day with SHAYNE TOPP

So Anthony had Shayne on as a guest on ISADW and, of course, Ian was brought up - Anthony cannot help himself 😅 it’s very sweet though ☺️

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[Talking about Shayne doing impressions of people]

Anthony: “Like earlier you did an impression of how you know when Ian’s nervous but he’ll never say it.”

Shayne: “So Ian whenever he’s leading a meeting, he gets like nervous burps I think, maybe.”

Anthony: [laughs]

Shayne: “But he’ll just kind of like, he’ll have the clicker for like the thing and he’ll be like ‘uh, yeah, so, um [covers mouth], we’re.. yeah, we’re doing that and um, it’s pretty good, and um yeah we’re really, we’re really excited.’”

Anthony: [laughing] “These are all the things that I noticed growing up with him.”

Anthony is so adorable, I love it! Also he loves bringing up the fact him and Ian grew up together/how long they’ve known each other, similar to what he done in the Smosh Mouth eps - what a cutie!

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Anthony: [thanking Shayne for sticking with Smosh all this time] “I really, really respect everything that you’ve done, everything that you’ve contributed. How much you’ve um, you know been there with Smosh through so many ups and downs. How you’ve had so much faith in this brand and how you’ve pushed it to continue to be what it has always been at the heart, which like you mentioned a second ago, which has really been about that friendship and that connection that you feel with the people that you’re making this stuff with. You know the way that Ian and I started it was we just loved to make each other laugh, let’s capture that genuine friendship that we have together, let’s see if this connects with anyone, let’s see if it resonates with people and it did…”

Wouldn’t be a Compliments Post without Anthony saying something sappy about their friendship and making me want to cry 😩 I also took him thanking Shayne for sticking with Smosh as him also thanking him for sticking with Ian. I’m sure it somewhat softens the blow a little bit that even when Anthony himself couldn’t be by Ian’s side, Ian still had great people around him 🥺

Anthony's Funeral

So since Anthony died in Food Battle it was finally time to have a funeral for him! This was such a highly anticipated event and it did not disappoint! Of course as the Funerals go, it was mainly about roasting Anthony, but there's still always room for compliments and nice moments in amongst it all.

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So it came to the end of the funeral and our host Pastor lan was wrapping up and after dubbing himself 'the hot one' and roasting baby Anthony, it was time to lay, in lan's words, 'Smosh's 2nd Hottest Member to rest’, but before that, as his script told him, he had to ‘insert a quick genuine comment about Anthony’ and boy did it deliver :-

lan: "But seriously though, I do feel so fortunate to have become your friend again, and honestly like I probably would have still been working at Chuck E. Cheese if it wasn't for everything that you did for Smosh. You are one of the hardest workers, you have such a great eye for content, and I'm so proud to be going down this path with you. Um... I love you.”

АААААННННННН!!!!

IT HAPPENED!!!!! IT REALLY HAPPENED!!!!!

I still cannot believe this is reality and we actually heard lan telling Anthony he loves him. I WILL SCREAM ABOUT THIS FOREVER!!!! And from the reactions of Anthony and the rest of the cast, this was HUGE. I don't lan had ever told him before 😭Also, during that whole speech Anthony was getting emotional after lan told him he loves him you see him trying to hold back from crying which just makes the whole situation even more tender 🥹

Before lan can show Anthony his 🍆 lol, Anthony rises from the dead for his counter-roast, and the first thing he mentions is about having water in his eyes whilst he wipes them away 🥺

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During his counter-roast he keeps teasing lan as if he's next, but of course he leaves his bestie till last. After roasting him about how he hides his emotions, embarrassing stories from their childhood and his flirting techniques, Anthony thanks everyone and says how appreciates everyone welcoming him back into Smosh and how he is proud of everyone who played a part in making the funeral what it was and for showing him love by roasting him.

Anthony: "I am just so grateful for you... lan said when we bought back Smosh, 'If we burn it to the ground I'm happy to do that with you' and after tonight... I think that sounds pretty good, I'm going to burn the place down. You have 5 minutes to get the fuck out and meet us at our VIP Aftershow."

Yes he ended this with a joke but all the nice stuff beforehand still stands, and to bring up what lan said about 'burning it to the ground' is so sweet 🥲

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And speaking of the Aftershow, we got some moments from that too, including another very special moment :-

Sax-Man: "Can I just say, comparing how I look and how you look is the difference between when Anthony was here and when Anthony wasn't."

Anthony: [laughs]

Sax-Man "I'm just like a virgin nerd and all of you are so sexy."

Cast: [laughs]

Sax-Man: "And that's what Anthony does."

lan: "That's what Anthony does."

Just lan agreeing that Anthony brings the sexiness 👀

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[Q: Anthony what was your favourite roast?]

Anthony: "How about the one where lan laid into my baby photo? It's not my fault I got past my ugly phase super quick."

Okay, so slight compliment with a roast, but still, he chose lan's roast as his favourite!

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And here was the special one!!

[Q: Anthony can you say 'I love you' back to lan?]

Anthony: "Aww..."

lan: [leans forward and puts his hands under his chin]

Anthony: "Yeah, and it's not that hard cause l've said it before." [places hand on lan's knee] "I love you, lan."

lan: [touches hand to his heart] "Stop. Stop. Stop."

THEYRE SO FUCKING CUTE!!!! I cannot believe we got an ‘I love you’ from both of them to the other!!! I'll be reeling over this for A LONG TIME!

Bloopers: Bluetooth Speaker Ruins Date

BTS of this sketch and as is a given with the Bloopers videos, a gem as always!

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I&A: [talking about the Anthony shrine]

Ian: “So even though Anthony is long dead and gone, he’s still there in our hearts.”

Anthony: “I’d like to know that if I died, you would have a little, just a little shrine of me.”

Of course he would, Anthony! That’s your bestie who cannot live without you so you must live forever! 😤

-

So this next bit they were just messing about but still funny and complimentary-by-extension (in a way lol). Ian starts doing a bit called Pickleball TV and creating a character for Anthony as he’s on a streak of keeping the ball up, until, he eventually drops it and he falls to his knees pretending to be devastated and everything Ian starts saying he repeats :-

Ian: “I bet he’s never going to recover from that.”

Anthony: “I’ll never recover from that.”

Ian: “I bet he’s really rethinking his life choices.”

Anthony: “I’m rethinking all my life choices.”

Ian: “I bet he thinks Ian’s the hot one.”

Anthony: “I think…” [laughs]

Ian: “Yeah, I bet he thinks Ian’s the hot one.”

Anthony: “I think Ian’s the hot one.”

He said it so I’ll take it! Anthony thinks Ian’s the hot one 😌😜

Bluetooth Speaker Ruins Date Watch Party

Of course we got our usual sketch Friday livestream which included a few complimentary moments :-

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Ian: [mentions gross man who I will not name and his “university course” 🤮]

Anthony: “I don’t know enough about that, I don’t listen to alpha male podcasts.”

Ian: “You don’t need to go down that rabbit hole, my boy.”

Kings! Yes, do not go down that rabbit hole - you’re actually decent men and that’s why we love you! Anyways, just thought it was cute how Ian referred to him as ‘my boy’.

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Anthony: [reads chat comment] “Oh, your sweater is matching your eye colour. Was that on purpose?”

Ian: [leans forward, batting his eyelashes and acts all cutesy]

Anthony: “Was that on purpose?”

Ian: “Maybe…”

Anthony: “Cause it brings out of the colours of your eyes?”

Ian: “Maybe…”

Anthony: “That’s so cute.”

Just Anthony basically telling Ian he looks cute in his sweater 😌

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[talking about the sketch]

Anthony: “Um, but Arasha was amazing and I had such a good time writing it and then getting to direct those scenes,” [looks at Ian] “with you, and Arasha.”

Very cute Anthony just wanting to tell him what a good time he had working with him ☺️

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Ian: [talking about the reasoning for casting Arasha as his date in the sketch and how they wanted it to be more of a short-film feel] “But Arasha is like rom-com lead material.”

Anthony: “I agree. And you’re rom-com lead material too.”

You think Ian is rom-com lead material Anthony 👀

Speaking of rom-coms, this live quickly spiralled into I don’t even know what as Ian goes off on his rom-com plot spiel. I summed it up in this post I made here.

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Anthony: [reading chat comment telling Ian good job on Pastor Ian]

Ian: “Oh yes, thank you.”

Anthony: “Ian, you fucking crushed it.”

Ian: “Aww, thanks.”

And just a full-out compliment from Anthony to finish off this live 😊

Which Friendship Will Win? (Everybody 1, 2, Switch)

Also on the same day we were blessed with this video! It finally happened! The boys played 1, 2, Switch again! And of course the compliments were flowing and the bestie-ism shining through 😁 Like the last time they played this, there were just so many moments that instead of writing them down I thought l'd put together a little compilation of some of the best moments like I done before. Hope you enjoy! :-

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An Honest Conversation with Smosh

So we got another 2hr interview with the boys! This time on The Colin and Samir Show podcast. I quite enjoyed this interview as they talked about some different things and it didn’t just feel like we were hearing about a lot of the stuff we already know this time around so it was interesting getting to learn some new stuff :-

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Ian: [talking about their work/shoot schedule]

Colin: “Is that how your mind kind of works? Like are you the producer mindset?”

Ian: “Hell no.”

Anthony: [laughs]

Colin: “No, you’re not?”

Ian: “No.”

Anthony: “But he does handle a lot more of the pre-production with approving the looks and ideas for kind of what we were thinking while writing.”

Ian: “Yeah, yeah, I try to because Anthony’s got like a whole different channel that he’s also working on so I’m trying to handle like more, generally like trying to handle more of like the shot listing.”

Anthony: “But I’ve got my hands deep in post-production because that’s, when we first started making the videos, Ian was handling a little bit more of pre-production, I was handling more post, and we kind of just fell into that naturally again because I’m obsessed with editing and I love it. I was an editor on all the Smosh videos myself for like 10 years or something and so,”

Ian: “And I hate editing.”

Anthony: [laughs] “So because I did it for so long myself I feel like I have a grasp of how to communicate ideas in that sense, so yeah, he’s more pre-production and I’m more post-production.”

What I was saying about us getting to learn some new stuff, they’ve not spoken much about how they work on the production side of things. But I like that they seem to have worked out a good balance, again goes back to all the talk of their dynamic of working together. I also love how they threw a little compliment in there to each other - Anthony chiming in to say how Ian handles more pre-production. And Ian brining up how Anthony has another channel to work on. Very sweet ☺️

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Ian: [explaining how the original ‘new cast’ weren’t introduced properly at the time and how audiences were (rightfully) not happy but how it panned out alright in the end and how some of the cast have been there 8 years now]

Anthony: “It did pan out but it needed to be a slow, gradual thing and the audience needed to slowly and gradually get accustomed to them and we found places-” [points to Ian] “You know, you found places where the new cast can shine in their own right…”

Just love Anthony stopping himself mid-sentence to highlight and give Ian the praise once again for the work he done with the new cast.

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I&A: [talking about how they didn’t stay in touch much during the ‘between years’ and thought they couldn’t be friends again because they thought they’d became totally different people and grown too far apart]

Samir: “What was the experience of watching each other’s content at that time?”

Anthony: [smiling] “I looked at Ian because I don’t think he’s ever answered this.” [laughing]

Ian: “Um, I mean like I watched it in the beginning, like when he first like split off cause I wanted to like keep eyes on like what he was doing.”

This is something they’ve mentioned before, about the fact they were keeping tabs on what the other was doing, I think it just further adds to how much they were missing each other during those years 🥺

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I&A: [talking about the resentment they felt and how they were trying to prove to people they could make it without the other]

Anthony: “…So I feel like when I kind of, when I started you know going to therapy, learning about myself, learning where these insecurities came from, learning where that like frustration was actually coming from and it was my own insecurity, my own desire to have validation and my own sense of self worth attached this thing [Smosh]. When I learned all those things I started to kind of let that stuff go.” [points to Ian] “Ian had his own personal journey as well, but we each kind of had to have our own journeys apart, accepting what had happened, accepting where we were now for you know when we finally did end up meeting up - one of Ian’s friends, you [Ian] mentioned this before you were talking to them, kind of mentioning me and they were like ‘why don’t you just meet up?’”

Ian: “Yeah.”

Samir: “Diana?”

Ian: “Yeah.”

Anthony: [laughs] “Yeah, yeah. Yeah so we ended up meeting up over lunch and because we didn’t hold on to that resentment anymore at that point we were able to just, really just genuinely connect. I felt him like listening to me in a way that like the past, like the final like 5 years of me being there kind of had disappeared. I was genuinely interested, we were just like had this genuine interest in each other - we were cracking little jokes and we were laughing just like we always had. I had learned a lot also with my own show and how to communicate better, how to listen better, how to have conversations about things that I’m genuinely interested in and every single thing, every single thing that we had done apart I feel like culminated in this moment of us together and reconnecting and realising that we really were at the core still the friends that we’d always been.”

Yes we have heard this so many times but I’ll never stop loving Anthony being sappy about their friendship 🥹

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Ian: [talking about how new entertainers and content creators coming up now grew up watching Smosh] “I think like now with like us buying Smosh back like this is such like an exciting time, an exciting generation for Smosh. It feels like a new sort of like stage.”

Samir: “I hope you feel the and get the credit for sticking it out and believing in it because belief I think is an undervalued component of these creative businesses because you have to work through times where either in the beginning when you have so much belief because like no one’s watching, like you [Anthony] were talking about launching a new format, it’s like you’ve got to believe that this thing is going to work and your creative is good and for you, like the belief through these tumultuous years that Smosh was so important and it was, it had a good storytelling DNA and it was a good comedy brand like as it’s going through this turbulence, that’s hard.”

Anthony: “Yeah, I definitely lost my belief in it.”

Samir: “It’s easier to go ‘forget about it’.”

Colin: “And people are commenting ‘what are you doing?’ and you’re like ‘I don’t know. I don’t know but I can’t tell you that’.”

Anthony: “Yeah, I felt so slighted by Defy that I completely lost hope in what Smosh was. So yeah, I mean the fact that you [Ian] stuck through it, even though I didn’t see it, a lot of people didn’t quite see it.”

Ian: “I mean I feel pretty validated now.”

And you should Ian! 👏

Always here for Ian getting the praise he deserves!

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Samir: “How do you guys ensure that you don’t split up again?”

I&A: [laughs]

Samir: “Like how do you think about that now, obviously you’re at a different maturity level, but you know we’re also, we started the conversation talking about creative partnerships, we’re in a creative partnership, like for other people who are doing this together how do you, what have you learned from your journey and how do you take that into the future?”

Anthony: “I learned that our biggest issue was lack of communication. I was thinking all these things and getting frustrated about things but never just outright saying it. Also I think there was a period of time at the end where we just completely stopped saying ‘how are you?’, you know ‘what’s going on in your world?’ and we stopped just hanging out for the sake of hanging out, it was only, cause we were working so much and we were probably spending like 40 hours a week together but we were just working, working, working the whole time so for me it’s about just having this space where it’s not about work, where it’s about connecting, where it’s about understanding, it’s like ‘how are you? how are things going? what did you think about the way things went today?’, I think even that feels like it’s enough and also I’ve been doing a a lot of work on myself through therapy to understand where certain things and feelings start coming from so I’m not quite as often feeling like it’s external things in my life that are upsetting me and I realise that it really is something that I need to work on myself that’s upsetting me, so that’s helped.”

Ian: “And I think we just have like a healthier approach to the process when we are working together, like when it comes to writing we’re not trying to put this like insane crunch on us where like ‘we need to just get to work right now and we have to write a script by 12:00pm or else we’re going to be-’ like we try to lay a whole day out so it’s like I show up to his place and we hang out, we talk for a little bit, we don’t like get right into it if we don’t have to.”

Anthony: “It kind of feels like it’s necessary now to have those breaths.”

Ian: “It’s just for us, it’s like it’s just finding like a flow, rather than feeling the stress that we sometimes do feel if we are constrained by time - then it like stops being fun, like it’s like you know, it’s like sometimes you do need that, you do need like a little bit of a…” [makes a prodding motion]

Anthony: [laughs] “A prodding?”

Ian: “Motivation.”

Just wanted to pause here for a moment before continuing with this section of them talking about this topic. It’s something I’ve reiterated time and time again, but I love that they take that time now for each other to catch up and see how the other is doing. I know it’s something that has been touched on multiple times but I think it just shows how serious they are about making their relationship work in a healthy way so that their connection does remain strong and they do remain together as a team. It’s such lovely growth between them and just shows how far they’ve come.

[All continue chatting about how it’s important for creative partnerships to have time to connect]

Ian: “…I want to say like when uh, so we carved out an entire weekend, we were like ‘okay we’re going to treat this like a writing retreat’ for when we wrote Food Battle, but like the first, like I think half of the day we probably, we were dealing with like personal issues and we just like talked through that.”

Anthony: “And you were saying that part of you was like ‘[looks at fake watch] okay but we gotta work.” [laughs]

Ian: “Yeah, I mean yeah, but also it’s like ‘let’s get right’ and like obviously you know we had things that were going on and it was like you know, I think it’s important for us to show up as friends first.”

Food Battle Sleepover Weekend 🙌 I’ll never get tired of hearing about this! And I think it’s so special they done that together and from the sounds of it, it’s something they really needed to have a good heart-to-heart 🥰

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Colin: [asks what they want Smosh to be known for in the future]

Anthony: “I mean for me it would be about creating a place where, I mean just creating a really, really great environment for people to work and be creative and have fun and share laughs and create comedy. I want- I would love for people to look at Smosh as a brand as something that still carries those, the root of Ian and my friendship that it was built on with it…”

Anthony being a sap for their friendship once again and making me cry, once again 😭

And with that last little sweet moment from Mr Padilla, that brought us to the end of the compliments for this interview.

The Smosh Episode - 100 Thieves Cast

The following day, we got another podcast featuring the boys. I really enjoyed this podcast also - it felt more like just a laid back chat than anything else so it was a nice change from the other podcasts they’ve done. There were a few complimentary/complimentary-by-extension/just general cute moments that I wanted to include so here we go :-

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Peter: [introducing the podcast - the series being called Boomer Vs Zoomer]

I&A: [waving fists in the air]

Anthony: “Wooo! Let’s go - Am I the boomer or the zoomer?”

Peter: “Usually the couch is for the zoomers, I will say.”

Ian: “Really?”

Anthony: [looks at Ian] “We’re the zoomers, bro! Let’s go!”

[celebratory Ianthony high-five]

Always gotta include their little high-fives 😊

(Gif quality is horrible I know but I tried lol 🫣)

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Ian: [talking about the women’s skinny, low-rise jeans the girls he liked in high school convinced him to buy] “But I was in cross-country so my legs were like pretty meaty…”

Anthony: [points at Ian] “He had a gyatt.”

I mean do I really need to say anything here 👀👀👀

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Anthony: [talking about when he got into high school and learning that he could just tell people that he was attracted to them and if they didn’t like him back he could move on]

Peter: [asking him how he learned that so young when it took him years to learn that]

Anthony: “Um, I think I just got luckyyyy… I don’t know. I have no idea.”

Peter: “I mean you are extremely good looking which helps.”

Ian: “It helps.”

Ian just agreeing that Anthony is extremely good looking 😏

Continuing on this with same topic :-

Anthony: [talking about how he hasn’t faced much rejection when it comes to asking people out but that he thinks he’ll have a rude awakening very soon]

Ian: “It’s not going to happen, I’ve seen his dad. His dad’s hot.”

Anthony: “Brooo… I’m gonna let him know you said that. He’ll be very happy with that.”

Ian: “That’s fine.”

Anthony: “He’ll be pleased with that.”

Ian: “That’s fine. He’s a handsome man.”

Anthony: “You know he’s let his grey go now too. He looks really good.”

Ian: “Oh hell yeah.”

So Ian what you’re saying is that you know Anthony will still be good looking when he’s older because you think his dad is ‘hot’ and ‘handsome’ 👀 Got it. Good to know your thoughts on Anthony’s looks 👌

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Peter: [talking about having an anxiety dream about the podcast and being nervous to meet Ian and Anthony]

Ian: “Was the handshake good though?” [when he was introducing himself]

Peter: “No, handshake was solid.” [two thumbs up]

Ian: “Yeah, handshake was solid.”

Peter: “I’d give it like a good 9, 9.5. Good, good solid contact. Good amount of time. Not too firm, not to like display your dominance on me.”

Ian: “And I have really soft hands too.”

Anthony: [points to Ian] “He does!”

The compliments on this podcast have been… something to say the least 🤭

And with that, that wraps up another section!

Annoying Orange Creator Breaks Down Controversies

Last Flashback of the year, this time with Dane Boe as a guest. Was the first non-Smosh guest they’ve had on the show so was quite a different eps. They watched some original Annoying Orange sketches and also watched the eps they featured on back in 2010, they ended up getting on to topics surrounding gender and the LGBT+ community and all in all it was a very wholesome but important chat that I definitely recommend checking out if you haven’t.

Now in terms of Ianthony compliments in this video, there weren’t really any besides this one little moment, another complimentary-by-extension moment. Where Anthony makes a pun-y joke and Ian puts his hand up and they give each other one of their little high-fives and because it is also another sub-genre of these posts, and Friendship Always Wins, how could I not include it 😉

(Again, terrible gif quality but like I said, I tried 😬)

Also another quick shoutout to Kortney - the editing did not disappoint as always 🙌

Anthony’s Nostalgia Kick

So over the holiday’s Anthony got to feeling a little nostalgic, sharing each of these to his Instagram story which I think is incredibly sweet, and complimentary when you think of him reminiscing on how far they’ve come :-

Ian also reshared the picture of their first business cards to his own story. Just a very cute thing all round! ☺️

Drawing The Smosh Cast From Memory

Anthony wasn’t the only one on a nostalgia kick - as a little holiday bonus, members got an eps of Smosh Is Bored! 🙌 The nostalgia that hit me, and I’m sure many others, when I saw that intro 🥹

So throwing it back to just like old times, they had a drawing competition between them, this time drawing some of the new cast members. We also got a few complimentary moments between them, even if they were laced with slight sarcasm because let’s be real, none of the drawings were good lol. But hey, ho - I’m including them anyways 🤭 :-

-

[drawing Arasha]

Anthony: “Our skills are elevating the further we get.”

Ian: “Yeah.”

Anthony: “I feel like I’m tapping into like a secret primitive drawing ability that I didn’t know I had.”

Ian: “I recognise your talents.”

Anthony: “I like the detail that you added to the mouth. I think that was like really above and beyond.”

Ian: [looks at him and smiles] “Thank you.”

Anthony: “Yeah, you’re welcome.”

Ian: “Thank you.”

Anthony: “You’re welcome.”

Double the ‘thank yous’ and ‘you’re welcomes’ lol, they’re so cute.

-

[drawing Chanse]

Anthony: “And I made him saying ‘Who’s Anthony?’ cause that’s his one joke.”

Ian: [smiles] “Nice.”

Just them approving of each other roasting their employees, the usual lol.

-

Ian: [draws Angela as a feral Guinea pig]

Anthony: [uncontrollably laughs and claps hands]

Ian: [explaing his drawing]

Anthony: “That’s amazing. I love those lips…. But you gave her a flesh coloured face, that’s something I missed out on. For some reason I thought she was just ghastly white. But yeah, she’s got some Guinea pig spots- I like the little tail. That is a cute little tail on her…. I also like how her hair is like, somehow, kind of a mane behind her ears.”

Ian: “Yeah. Yeah… Yeah!”

Anthony: “That is the cutest little feral rodent.”

Anthony was particularly complimentary about this drawing for some reason 😄 but cute nonetheless 🐹

And with that, that brought us to the end of the video and to the last of the compliments of 2023 🥹

-

Before I wrap this up, I just want to say a massive thank you to anyone who has read, commented on, reblogged, and liked these posts over the last 6 months 💖 I really appreciate anyone who has left kind words about them, makes it all worth it ☺️

I cannot believe everything these last 6 months has brought us and I’m so happy it’s even a reality that I’m able to make these posts. If you’d told me this time last year about everything that would happen I never would have believed you - we’re truly living in the best timeline and I cannot wait to see what the new year has in store for us 🙌

I want to wish everyone all the best for 2024 🫶 and here’s to another year filled with many more Compliments ✨

[cabinet-man-colors]

my first ever animatic- and its gay lawyers. you know how it is.

siblings of mine who will see this! maybe dont watch yet? i know you guys havent seen the full trilogy and i dont wanna spoil it for you- i know i showed aloe the sketch version but thats bc i forgor and it also wasnt super legible so its fine probably.

uhhh spoliers for phoenix wright, ace attorney trilogy (including the last case of the third game. so be warned!!!)

a little bit of info about the process below, i guess?

this project was a bitch to work on, and yet i somehow made it in less than a month. i drew a rough draft on paper (ft: chibi phoenix and edgeworth lmao) before moving it into clip studio, where i dont have the ability to animate for more than a few seconds, so i drew each picture seperately, with 4 frames per layer, then slapped it into an editing software and cropped it so it was just one frame visible, then slowly matched the frames to the lyrics.

and then i decided "actually i wanna refine this more" and went back into clip studio and refined the sketches a lot more. and then i decided to color it. and that took a while. and then i had to replace each frame in my already edited version (that hadnt been exported yet thank goodness) and then i added subtitles.

this sucked to make but im like. okay with how it turned out tbh. im proud of it i think. i did get better at drawing these two nerds so- thats a plus! they change throughout the animatic because i made this over the course of a few days, and i changed how i was drawing them midway through, but i didnt wanna redraw them for some scenes, so the two frames before the last one look a lil wonky and the last frame doesnt match them at all but like its fine! i had fun and thats what matters.

i did it poorly but i did it. and thats what matters.

[kaeyas-beloved]

Holiday Happenings

Characters: Albedo, Childe, Freminet

— spending the holiday season with them is never a dull moment

CWs: gn!reader (no pronouns), fluff, modern!au, Freminet's is platonic/Albedo’s is romantic/Childe’s can be read as either-or, alcohol (Childe), kissing, petnames (love), reader is gifted a necklace in Childe’s but it’s design isn’t described, Freminet might be OOC this is my first time writing him!!

This is my contribution to the 2023 Genshin Secret Santa! @mechalily this is for you and I hope you like it!! ('m sorry for being a little late <3)

Albedo

"You're not seriously working during Christmas break, are you? I thought you finished all your assignments already?" When you entered your boyfriend's dorm room during the evening hours you really weren't expecting him to be hunched over and writing away at some chemical research… thing. Actually, you thought he’d be either sketching or reading. “Albedooo, you’re not supposed to be a slave to the education system for the next few weeks!”

Your little comment left him unfazed as he finished writing his thoughts down before glancing up at you. “This is no assignment love, just merely research I conducted on my own time from my own curiosity. It’s quite fascinating really, and I think it’s something you’d enjoy as well.” While your heart does indeed warm at the thought of him keeping you in mind during his day-to-day activities, and you'd be more than willing to sit and listen to him for hours, you came here with a purpose dammit!

Nonchalantly you stand behind him, draping your arms over his shoulders and resting your head beside his. He gives you a look, blank for the most part but you can see the underlying suspicion in them, a silent What are you planning?. You just smile like you’re not up to anything, even though you most certainly are. Subtly you move to grab something from your pocket, getting ready to reveal it along with your notorious plan.

“While I most definitely want to hear about your research, I think you should be relaxing just a little more and doing more holiday activities or your regular hobbies than something you’ve been doing nonstop for the last few months. And I’ve got just the idea for you,” and with that you pull what you had in your pocket out, holding it above the both of you.

“Kissing me under some mistletoe!! …followed by cuddles 'cause it’s cold please and thank you.” At first he blinks, then his eyes move between your expectant face and the plant and that was all it took for a small smile to find itself on his lips.

“You know,” he starts, shifting in his seat to face you better, “all you had to do was ask. There was little need to go to such lengths.”

“But that takes all the fun outta it!” You pout, still hoping he’ll humour you and fulfill your holiday wish. You even playfully try batting your eyelashes, intending to sway him.

Of course, Albedo never needs to be swayed to give you a kiss, or even cuddles. Besides, who is he to go against the ‘must kiss under the mistletoe’ rule? So, without much convincing, soft hands cup your cheek and lower you towards him, his lips soft and delicate as he gifts your long desired kiss. It’s not too short and not too long, just the right length to make you feel warm and your lips tingle with the memory of him.

When he pulled away he deftly plucked the mistletoe from you, placing it on his desk before looking back at you, his thumb stroking your cheek, eyes full of tender love. “If I recall, you requested some cuddles as well, yes? Let’s not waste any time then, as I too have been craving all that is you.”

Childe

The thrum of the music in the house vibrates deep in your chest, the cacophony of sound mushing together in your head, evoking the beginning of a headache. Leaning against the kitchen counter, you're left wondering how a noise complaint hasn't been made yet, positive everyone within three blocks of the house is ready to riot for their right to peace and quiet.

Taking a sip of... whatever juice mixed with vodka that was provided, your eyes bounce between the bodies and faces of the other university students, each having one thing in common: skipping the books in favour of having some end-of-the-year fun. There's one face you're looking for in particular though, and the moment his bright ginger curls catch your eye you're on the move towards him.

As if sensing your gaze, Childe turns and smiles, raising his own cup in greeting. “You actually came, I’m quite surprised."

You suppress an eye roll as you lightly bump shoulders with him, returning his smile with one of your own. “I wouldn’t miss this for the world. It’s been too long since I’ve gone out and had some fun.” You take a greedy gulp of your drink then, letting yourself relax now that you’re in the presence of a familiar face. Childe mirrors your action before setting his now empty cup on the coffee table, guiding you up the stairs to a quieter place. He takes you to the first empty, and most importantly quiet, room he could find before shutting the door behind the both of you.

“While I’m all for a good time, even I’m starting to get a headache from how loud it is. Hope you don’t mind.” You’re quick to dispel his worries with a smile and a shake of your head. Acting like you own the place, you set your cup on the closest stable surface and walk over to the other side of the room - a lavish bedroom now that you take a look around - opening up the balcony doors before stepping out. The cold hits you instantly, but it’s a welcoming sensation against the smothering heat of the party. Childe isn't far behind you, leaning against the banister as he gazes out at the snow-covered city, dotted with lights.

While you're more than content with sitting in silence, your banister buddy has something on his mind, so he's anything but hesitant to relight the conversation, "oh! That reminds me…” he pulls something from the pocket of his hoodie, “this is for you. Merry Christmas.”

He hands you a thin, rectangular box, red in colour and a white ribbon wrapped around it and tied into a bow. By weight and the slight noise it makes when you took it, it was clearly a jewelry box, and the moment you pull the silk off and lift the lid you’re met with exactly as you thought it’d be.

You whisper his name on a breath, picking up and examining the design that hangs on the chain. “Oh wow… this is lovely Childe, thank you!” The male smiles, glad he was able to pick out something to your liking. He watches with eager eyes as you put it on, everything about it suiting you to a T.

“Glad I still know what you like. Now..." He chuckles, a mischievous look in his eyes showcasing the clear tease he’s trying to make, "where’s my gift?” And really, he leaves himself open to your own teases. You can’t help but be a little mean.

“Nice try, but naughty boys don’t get Christmas gifts,” you snicker, crossing your arms and turning away from him. Cue the ginger’s normal antics of practically hanging off you, a smile and a pout on his face at the same time as he pesters you about forgetting to get a gift for your favourite person. These things don’t bother you one bit though, staying calm as an overgrown baby clings and pleads for the gift he knows you got him.

Finally, you give some crumbs, “Okay, okay, maybe, just maybe, I got you something. And maybe, it’s sitting at my house, waiting for you.”

When his eyes brightened, shining with pure delight as he grabbed your hand and dragged you out of the party and towards your place, you can’t help but think his joy was the best gift you could get.

And if he’s this happy over hearing he got a gift, then you can only guess how over the moon he’ll be at the life size plush he’s gonna get.

Freminet

"This is your first Christmas away from the orphanage, right?" You ask softly, digging through your box of Christmas ornaments while sparring the young boy a glance. Wordlessly, he takes the miniature top hat decoration you hand him, nodding softly as he stands and places it on the tree.

“That’s right. It’s also the first one I’ll be spending without Lyney and Lynette… so I’m very grateful that you’re letting me spend it with you,” he said, smiling softly. You huff a chuckle, handing him another decoration.

“Of course, it’s my pleasure to have you here this year. I’m just sorry the snowstorm prevented your siblings from coming home.” your words are genuine in nature and for that the young boy nods in thanks, hanging a couple more decorations with you in silence.

Over the years of knowing the three orphans you've come to notice a lot about each of them, and something about Freminet was that he was a quiet child, quieter than his sister at times. It speaks volumes about his character, and through trial and error, you've uncovered the why and how to work your way around it. He's quiet, but that doesn't mean he has nothing to say. Coincidentally, this also works in your favour, a simple segway into your little surprise.

"So, did you have any Christmas traditions?"

"Christmas traditions?"

"You know, opening a single gift on Christmas Eve, the Christmas pickle, leaving cookies and milk for Santa, those kinds of things!" As you listed things off his eyes widened slightly, lit with understanding. He makes a small humming noise, obviously thinking how he should phrase his response.

“Well, I’ve heard of each of those, but the only one we ever participated in was leaving treats out for Santa and his reindeer. I did always want to open a present on Christmas Eve though, but I never asked if we could; I was content with just getting a gift.”

Your smile widens a bit, “why don’t you open one then? How about that one, the red, perfect square one?”

“Are you sure? Like I said, just getting a gift is enough for me…”

“I insist. Please Freminet? Pretty please?” Although reluctant, the boy finally concedes and picks up the gift you pointed out. It was light in weight, as if there wasn’t much or anything at all within. One last glance up at you and Freminet is carefully tearing into the wrapping paper, revealing a bland, brown cardboard box. Lifting the lid, the blond tilts his head, pulling out one of his brother’s signature magic cards. Flipping it over reveals a simple message: Merry Christmas Freminet &lt;3

Confused, he turns to look at you for an explanation only for his eyes to widen in shock at the familiar faces standing next to you.

Lyney flourishes his hat, bowing at the waist, “and just like that, with a little Christmas magic, Lynette and I reappear before your very eyes! Merry Christmas Freminet!”

Lynette smiles softly, not as eccentric as her twin, though the love behind her words is very clear, “Merry Christmas.”

Freminet stands at a loss for words, looking between his two older siblings before shifting over to you. "But... the storm... weren't they supposed to be...?" His lips part to ask you his burning questions, but all you do is wink and lift a finger to your lips. It wouldn't be magic if the magician told their secrets after all. He doesn't need to know you pulled some strings to get them home earlier than intended, simply because you knew Freminet wanted to spend Christmas with them.

And the young boy doesn't push for more from you, instead stepping forward and embracing his siblings, glad they could be home for the holidays. Now, he gets to spend it with all of his loved ones.

Tag list: @spoopy-fish-writes // @that-enby-alien // @xenuuu // @kaeyaloml // @mariposa666haruka // @quackquackmfs // @kunikuzushiii // @ajaxstar // @genshin-impact-writings // @ventisweetheart // @lordbugs // @leena-shi // @lemontum // @akiria12167 // @ari-the-wr1ter // @dontmindmebeing // @xiaos-wife // @irethepotato // @milkwithspiceyicecubes // @stygianoir // @francisnyx // @leemidnightmoon

[meadowlarkx]

elvenkings

Fic for @sindarweek day 2: Locations | AO3

Afterwards, they went back. No tale contains this part: no one set it down. Few set out: Oropher, his tall, gangly son, and a handful of others. A small cluster of green shoots. Spring was returning to the forest, and it smelled sweet, like unfurling leaves and old rot melting. They were very careful. They moved and slept in the trees, wishing their foliage fuller and missing Melian’s temperate cradle. But at the rushing Esgalduin, before Menegroth’s bashed-in mouth, there were no boughs to make the going safer.

“Finrod’s brother,” one said, weeping, “wished his mortal’s beauty to live on unmarred in his memory.”

Oropher looked searchingly at his son. Should we not have come back? the look asked. Should I not have brought you back?

Thranduil shook his head. He was serious-faced, with an edge of temper and a merry wit that darted free at times like a bird startled from a branch. No humor glinted in his gaze now. He was named for the spring, but perhaps it had been this kind of spring. “We had to,” he said simply. “Pass me a lantern:” and he crossed the stone bridge and went inside.

Ringing silence, orchestral silence, the tremor of the air from breath and speech shimmering up the vaulted halls roofed by gleaming roots, through the wide proud galleries with their pillars fashioned like beech-trees. No robbers or kinslayers had made lair of this place. Still they trod softly, reverently, until in the garden with its fountain gone quiet—not the throne room—Medlithor sang out clarion a love-song of Daeron’s, and briefly illuminated the dark like lightning.

Three of Nimloth’s gowns for the little princess. Torn tapestries—gleaming silver. A great book of heraldry, and another of sketches, plans for uncarved statuary. Daeron’s prized notes nowhere to be found. A chest of Oropher’s things, still fastened shut, guiltily perfect. A zither broken and unsinging. The dark space where the bodies had been heaped and burnt atop the frozen ground by their enemies. White bones of a few they had missed. The tree-roots embracing them, the new moss blanketing them. Circles ever widening outward, months late seeking children who would never be found.

Somber return, days in the making. Thranduil sat on a pier and watched the silt swirl and mingle with the clear salt of the ocean. Something tugged in his young breast: he could not name it. It was not sea-longing.

“It was very fine. The floor was fashioned like a vast ocean, sweeping out—oh!—with bright fishes, and strange sea-weeds like purple flowers, and amongst them, stars.” Evranin’s hands fluttered like birds, even when she was not at her stitching. “You used to hop from one spotted ray to the next.”

Elwing nodded dubiously.

“You remember it, don’t you, my girl? I know you do.”

“I think so,” Elwing said.

“Your great-grandfather planned it. He was the first to make the journey across the Sea, and he returned with a beautiful light in his eyes: they glowed in the endless dusk under the starlight.”

Elwing flinched.

“Not thus, sweet,” Evranin said, “like auntie Idril’s. ‘Twas a shine like the dawn, though of course, we knew no dawn then.”

Elwing looked confused, then squinted her eyes like two clenched fists, as though trying to work out a time before sunlight. Evranin thought this very Bëorian of her. At last, satisfied, she gave a little nod of approval.

“He loved the Sea: your great-grandfather. He and his brother meant to cross and live by the shore on the other side—where the fish leapt in the colorful shallows, and the stars’ reflection could yet be seen.”

“But he did not,” Elwing interrupted, frowning. She knew this part, and meant not to be appeased.

“He loved your great-grandmother more, and the woods’ green smell underfoot in the summer. But his brother—your great-great-uncle—did cross over, and he built a fair city for our people by the water. When you look west, my dear, think of all your family waiting to meet you. We live on the shore now, just as they do.”

“I don’t remember the floor of that gallery,” Elwing said quietly. “But I remember the music of the fountains through the room, and Naneth dancing with Ada. There were nightingales in his hair.”

If you looked carefully, as Bilbo was wont to do, you could see the places where the tapestry in Elrond’s library had been repaired. It nearly covered one complete wall of the hexagonal room, confidently draping languid and liquid across space where more books and scrolls could have been squirreled away. Its colors seemed to shift, unearthly, and the weave was finer than any Bilbo had seen—which made the repairs, neat as they were, quite obvious. The image was one of a shadow-crowded forest of brambles and feathery boughs, and in the foreground dark, shimmering water. Shapes were awakening beneath the stars in the twilight by the water’s edge, stretching up glistening bodies and dancing and drawing one another in to embrace. At one corner the winding border had been singed and the damage had not been mended. Still, it was very beautiful. Nearby, upon a varnished wooden stand, a book sat partly open, with thin, cracked pages of birch-paper. It was full of sigils, but Bilbo, despite making a study of Elf-lore, recognized none of them.

“Nor do I know most of them,” Elrond said, when asked. “It is far older than I, and a gift from Oropher from long ago, ere he left eastwards. See, though. Here is Beleg’s seal, and Mablung’s: the marchwardens from Túrin’s unhappy tale.” Bilbo exclaimed over these a while, and then asked: “What about the tapestry?”

“Melian the Maia wove it in the Elder Days.” He did not need to add: I thought it should be admired.

They had argued bitterly on the day the gift was made. It was vanishingly rare to see Elrond angry, but Oropher had managed it.

“Name me not king. I have chosen my king, and I am his herald. Leave it, I have begged of you. I won't ask again."

“And in what world am I to be named lord, while Elwing’s son bears no title? While our prince—”

“You might stay!” Elrond said rather wildly.

“And you might come with us—to oak and elm, the deep forest, people of our own ways—”

“I have made my choice.”

Silence fell between them, a silence of set jaws and brittle gazes. It was from an excess of care that they crossed wills.

“You are so like Lúthien,” Oropher said at last. Pride was soft in his voice. “Nay, your mother in her lordship. You are so like all of them.”

Elrond did not know what he meant.

“Accept these at least. They are your own inheritance. How I wish we had been able to offer you more.” Oropher said nothing else, but Elrond heard in his inmost heart all he meant, and opening his own heart he offered him forgiveness for the harsh words freshly spoken and for the old aches, the beaded necklace of orphans upon orphans, the bruise-tender childhood, the sunken continent, the houseless shades of the dead that crowded like moths: all the wounds still bleeding, and in which Oropher was faultless.

When Amon Lanc grew too dangerous, Thranduil knew what had to be done. Harried and unmerry was the Wood-elves’ journey northwards through the forest’s tree-paths. They took from the hill only what they could carry. Those of Thranduil’s people whom he met on the way—for many lived simply in the trees throughout Greenwood with their companions and children, and had joined themselves to no great settlement—spoke with him in troubled voices, though on the nights his following gathered around their small talans wine flowed and songs were sung.

“We need to make fast a stronghold,” he said. “Underground: a place of stone.”

“Better to go through the trees quickly! to travel lightly!”

“And if there is nowhere left that the Shadow has not touched?”

These Elves shook their heads and he read their thinking: we have always dwelt in this forest. But Thranduil’s heart misgave him, insisting the direst hour was still to come, and that he ready all his scattered people a sanctuary in advance of that hour.

Kingship did not rest easily on this son of Oropher. He had not been born to it, and he had meant never to find it. He preferred swimming the forest’s rivers and downing the sweet nectar of more summery lands to difficult counsels and deference, however warmly they were offered him. Very often since his father’s death, the way did not seem clear.

It was clear in this moment. He felt Elu Thingol’s hand cool upon his shoulder, as surely as if the king sojourned with him in the dappled wood and spoke as he had at the height of his wisdom. He saw in his mind’s eye the bridge that would cross the running water, the enchanted door, the roots that would be sung into high ceilings, the beech-carved pillars, the golden lamplight.

__________

From The Silmarillion: "But the Elves also had part in that labour, and Elves and Dwarves together, each with their own skill, there wrought out the visions of Melian, images of the wonder and beauty of Valinor beyond the Sea. The pillars of Menegroth were hewn in the likeness of the beeches of Oromë, stock, bough, and leaf, and they were lit with lanterns of gold. The nightingales sang there as in the gardens of Lórien; and there were fountains of silver, and basins of marble, and floors of many-colored stones. Carven figures of beasts and birds there ran upon the walls, or climbed upon the pillars, or peered among the branches entwined with many flowers. And as the years passed Melian and her maidens filled the halls with woven hangings wherein could be read the deeds of the Valar, and many things that had befallen in Arda since its beginning, and shadows of things that were yet to be. That was the fairest dwelling of any king that has ever been east of the Sea."

[starsarefire824]

Byler Fic Recs

I haven't posted some fic recs in a while so I thought I would!

Here are some ones I love:

In Undertow (M) by olliecoddle (@souverian-are-we): This is my favorite thing I'm reading right now. It's. Just. So. Good.

The Wheeler’s lakehouse was a two-story wooden building with white siding and blue shutters on each of the little windows. It sat on the edge of a large blue-green lake, a long backyard full of tall tufted grass that ended in a wooden dock extending out over the water. Will had been to the Wheeler’s lakehouse twice as a child, once when he was eight and again when he was sixteen. Now, he was twenty-nine and pulling up to the long driveway of the house in his beaten-up Ford Escort, his stomach in nervous knots that he was trying to calm with a half-full can of ginger ale.

or, four months after one byers/wheeler couple breaks up, another gets married. and, of course, will and mike are both the best men. and, of course, there is a plot to get them back together. nothing goes to plan.

one soft infested summer (M) by wheelersboy (@lucasvenkman)" The Stoned Byler to ever be stoned. And it's sexy and emotional and just delicious summer vibes. And I'll forever be thankful for the Director's Cut. 😉

The Party spend their last summer before college together at Summerfest in Milwaukee. Oh yeah, and they're stoners.

My Teeth In Your Neck (T) by @foodiewithdahoodie: Boarding school, sexual tension, and fencing. It's dope.

Mike and Will used to be friends. Best friends! But after one fight they couldn't come back from during the summer, they haven't spoken to each other since. The only time they cross paths is on the piste, with epee swords brandished, as fencing rivals for their opposing boarding schools - Hawkins High vs Lenora Hills Prep. This year is no different, except it kind of is. Something pulls them together and this time they can't escape it. Because there's no Mike without Will and there's no Will without Mike. Simple as that.

the strawberries are dying (T) by @eggowls Rated T: the world needs more historical au Byler fics, and this one is perfect. Beautifully written and an interesting premise. I have to catch up on this one.

At the height of the stock market crash, the Wheelers are the richest family in Roane County and in need of domestic servants to fulfill their estate's needs. In a bout of desperation, they end up hiring the Byers family, much to everyone’s (except Nancy’s, who has a crush on Jonathan) chagrin.

However, in the midst of it all, two outcasted young boys from completely different lives find a light in each other. And—slowly—their lives begin to intertwine to the point of no return.

need, lie, mean, cry (T) by @willow-lark: a good shorty fic with lots of angst!

Nobody needs Mike Wheeler. He probably wouldn't be so mad about it if Will hadn't lied and made him think otherwise.

Let's Go Crazy Together (but not like this) (M) by Julia_Skysong: Byler hate each other and end up sharing a room at rehab. It's awkward. I'm only halfway through, but I'm loving it.

Anger, fear, trauma, grief. One turned to alcohol. One turned to drugs. Now, somehow, they've ended up sharing a room at the same mental hospital. Will and Mike are stuck, forced to work through their issues together, for better or for worse.

things i can't say (T) by @chiquitablanquita. Switched notebook trope, my beloved. I really liked the writing here.

Will’s sketches contain a confession: he’s in love with his best friend. Unfortunately, his best friend’s journal looks a lot like his sketchbook.

If You Stay (M) by Flurryofstarz. A The Proposal AU, Byler edition. It's fucking cute. Impatiently awaiting an update.

Faced with the threat of deportation, career-oriented Mike Wheeler says he's engaged to his hapless assistant, Will Byers. Will commits to the lie while imposing a few conditions of his own. With a skeptical immigration official waiting for them to slip up, the two must work together to fool their friends and families into believing that their once-strained relationship has since evolved into true love.

But what happens when they start to believe the lie too?

Or, the fic inspired by the enemies-to-lovers rom-com, The Proposal (2009).

he could be a bee to a blossom (E) by anonymous: I loooveed the writing. Truly a Tragedy that it's anonymous.

Mike reached down and grabbed something. He was seated on the edge of the bed, curled towards him with his knee resting near Will’s pillow. He had a carton of freshly washed and cut fruit in his hand. “I already went to the grocery store and got, like, a million things. We could probably shelter in place here for a month and a half.”

Mike said it in a way that was not remotely sexy, but it still made something in Will’s stomach heat. He almost felt like purring, kneading his hands into the mattress with satisfaction. [My alpha got that for me. My alpha is making sure I’m healthy and hydrated. My alpha is taking such good care of me.]

A record scratch went off in Will’s head. Christ alive, Mike was NOT his alpha.

(A/B/O AU… And they were roommates!)

Be mine through the Hawkinspocalypse (and I'll be yours forever) (E) by TikaWayward: I love this whole series. It's unique and sexy and well written.

Mike was long. Long frame extended in a stretch. Long limbs shaking from exhaustion. Long fingers clenched around ripped sheets. Long hair damp with sweat, sticking to his long pale nape and freckled shoulders. Even his back seemed long as he tensed. Will had to commit this view to memory, engrave it in his mind forever. Even if it was the only time they ever shared such intimacy, even if Mike had only asked him for help because he was there, familiar, convenient, and they needed his heat to stop as soon as possible. There are goddamned monsters out there Will, I can’t be in heat right now, I can’t! He needed to revere this moment.

Mike truly was the most beautiful creature Will had laid his eyes on. __________________________________________________________________

Or Mike presents as an omega in the middle of his patrol with Will in a monster infested forest.

The Best Ever Death Metal Band Out of Hawkins (M) by olliecoddle (@souverian-are-we): uhmmmmm, I'm obsessed with this. Rock star angsty Byler.

Will had the same pre-show ritual before every gig he ever performed. About twenty minutes before he had to go on stage, he would lock himself in any confined space he could find. In a bathroom stall, his dressing room, the maintenance closet, he would turn off the lights and hide for a few minutes. Today, though, it was five minutes before he had to go on stage, the clock ticking down, and he had spent the last half hour wandering around the venue looking for Mike Wheeler.

Will needed to talk to him.

or, the party has a band. will and mike make out on stage. for the bit, of course. it causes problems.

I’m a Wreck (Without You Here) (M) by @talkingtothelights. I'm only on the first chapter but it's so heartbreaking and emotional. Good shit.

Mike has been living 2,200 miles away from his family and hometown for the past fourteen years. He rarely visits, but when he receives heartbreaking news, he’s forced to return home for a funeral. It’s in this unfortunate chapter of life that Mike must come to terms with the consequences of abruptly running away from home and perhaps reconnect with the one person he’s tried his damnedest to forget about.

not strong enough to be your man (T) by @perexcri. The prose is fucking beautiful. I really enjoyed this one.

He swallows down a flurry of all the things he wants to say – every moment and untold truth and aching thought that’s bruised his mind for years – but it comes out so plain, so stark and oddly-jagged in the silence following the lighting, taking up space where thunder should be:

“I meant it, Will. You’re not an inconvenience.”

Will shakes his head and turns.

Mike wants to feel like he's meaningful, like he's an active part of his own life - worthwhile.

It's a good thing Will needs him now more than ever.

Right?

Make Believe (E) by FlurryofStarz. One of all time favorites. Amazing slow burn and super interesting a/b/o dynamics. Mike centric. I cannot wait until the plot point I think is going to happen is revealed. 👀

There's absolutely no way to know what a person will present as ahead of time, but Mike's never been more certain about something in his life. Will Byers is going to be an Omega--a male Omega--and the second that happens, he'll lose everything. Some knothead Alpha like Troy or James will claim him as their own and no one will be able to stop them. Luckily, the Party has a plan. It might be complicated and unconventional. It might not even be legal, but it's something and that's all Will really needs. Something. And Mike's more than willing to try it if it means saving Will.

But what if Will isn't the one who needs saving?

*** if you’re listed here and want to be tagged let ms know!

[teejaystumbles]

⭐  give us the bonus features/making of for your big bang fic!

Ooooh! OK!

For "Hell or High Water" it all started with a poll I made in May 2023 to decide which kind of fish half to give merman Hob. The British or Common Skate won and my merman Hob was born. The rest is kinda history lol.

For months I drew sketches and came up with a few scenes, like Morpheus being a freediver and dropping the ruby for Hob to find. I watched a documentary on freediving ("The Deepest Breath"), and skates of course. I talked a lot to mutuals like @amielot who helped me come up with some ideas for the story and whose drawings of Hob and Johanna shaped the way I wrote their relationship a lot.

Thinking about mermaids and movies with mermaids made me remember "Dagon", which has an ending scene that has very much made a lasting impression on me (and made me realise that I am quite a bit thalassophobic), and so I thought - "let's make it a bit creepy, a bit Lovecraftian."

I listened to "The Shadow over Innsmouth" and a lot of other Lovecraft over the next months, put together a playlist for writing and got to work on gathering more information to build my world. I decided to go with Lovecraft's love for ancient cultures as the cradle of weird/inhuman cults and made Hob's ancestors be descendents of Tiamat, originally living in the Mediterranean and Red Sea, using Accadian and Cuneiform writing as their form of communication. I have a whole Gdoc dedicated to notes for the fic, and another one for the story outline. I really put in a lot of effort but it was worth it. I love research and world building, I loved learning about freediving and revisiting my knowledge about Accadian language (I did two semesters of "Oriental studies" at the beginning of my time as a university student). At that point I don't think that I had decided to write the fic for the Big Bang, but then I thought, "why not? The pressure will help me actually write it." And it worked!

While writing I think I changed a few ideas of the story. For example, I had debated to let Thessaly try and romance Morpheus and make Hob even more jealous, but I decided to cut that short and let her focus on the ruby. I also needed a lot of time to figure out what to do about Johanna's selkie skin, there were different ideas, like have Morpheus stumble upon it where Jo had simply forgotten it. I think the final solution came to me fairly late into writing, but I'm very glad I thought of Rachel. It was my first time taking part in a Big Bang and I hope to take part in the next. There's nothing better for me than a project deadline actually forcing me to focus on one thing, as I tend to let my creativity wander and drop things halfway if I don't have to finish something.

Thank you for asking, I hope this was a bit interesting. 🥰

[jinx-on-mars-19xx]

Something Unholy

😈 Previous Parts 😈

Dom x Colson (Yungblud x Machine Gun Kelly)

Warnings: priest Kells, ??? Dom, religious kink, priest kink, self hatred, self homophobia, spooky season gift fic so SPOOKY, improper use of rosary beads implied, fear, panic, Kells thinking he's going crazy, needy boys, being given vodka when sober, come ons, feeling sick, choking, Dom being playful af 😈 rating: mature

Colson was finally starting to feel a little better after his nearly midnight confessional. It had been a few days and he was genuinely questioning if he'd even actually met the stranger or if it was a stress dream. He'd finally started getting control of himself and had even found a hint of charm for his sermon that morning, so there was a bounce in his step as he said goodbye to the last of his congregation and disappeared to the rectory to remove his robes. Of course that jade gaze was trapped in his mind's eye but he could almost etch-a-sketch it out when it popped up. He set aside his Bible and twined his rosary around his belt loop before heading back to clean up.

"Hi Father!" A perky voice sounded from somewhere near the pulpit and he couldn't stop himself from being startled. Even though he was feeling more himself he was still on edge.

"Oh- um, hey Jess." He stuttered back when the girl finally stepped out from her accidental hiding place. Though he was wondering if she hadn't meant to stay out of sight. He always made sure everyone was gone before he cleaned up, he liked his quiet reflection time after mass. He honestly just liked being alone to be honest. He was the most introverted priest most people had ever met but he didn't care. He could take care of his flock and still hate having them around. "Shouldn't you catch up with your parents?"

Jessica was a beautiful girl, soft in all the right places he supposed but he didn't notice that as much as she wanted him to. She had a sharp wit she tried to hide behind demure innocence but he knew she was smarter than her family wanted anyone to know. She wasn't even twenty yet but her clueless parents had been trying to push her to him for the last few months, mistaking his air of progressiveness to mean he wasn't celibate and never planning to get married he guessed. He didn't intend to though and even if he did he wouldn't go for someone so young. Every time they were alone he got the ick.

"They wanted me to help you. Mom suggested I stay and cook you lunch. Unless you'd like to join us all?" She smiled and flipped her strawberry blonde hair over her shoulder. He tried not to visibly shudder at her offer. All the ladies in his church thought he needed fed, they could never realize he did eat, he just didn't gain weight very well.

He tried to grit his teeth and play nice, moving past her to start his ritual. Fix the Bibles, straighten the pews, and pick up anything left on the floor. It helped because he had to pace the large room and normally he was able to zone out in the process. He didn't know how to tell her to leave without being rude but he needed space. "I'm alright but thank you. I have lunch ready in my kitchen. You can tell your mom I'm good." He soothed but of course it didn't work.

"You know how she is. I'll just help you in here and then we can whip something up." She smiled what he was sure was a beautiful smile. He just didn't think of her like that. He'd been trying to help her out of the obviously sexist home she'd grown up in, he knew she could be great in college, but for some reason she'd taken her parents idea and run with it no matter what he said.

His phone buzzed in his pocket, he always kept it close just in case. Their town was small and had plenty of older people, he liked to be available for counseling and last rites whenever he could. He ignored it for the moment, hoping to get rid of the girl first. "Thanks, seriously Jess but I need to study."

"That's okay, I can be quiet." She hummed, she wasn't even helping, she was following him as he walked through the pews. If anything she was making a bigger mess by fiddling with shit he'd already straightened. He could feel himself shaking, not many people made him so nervous as the pretty girls the congregation pushed at him.

He felt another buzz as he turned to face her. "Jess, why don't you call Benji and see if he wants to go to lunch? I'm sorry but I'm really busy. If you need guidance, okay, but I'm never really off the clock." He tried to be a little more blunt but her blue eyes just stared at him like he wasn't making sense.

"Benji is a boy, I don't like spending time with him like that." She huffed, genuinely trying to pout at him like that would get her way.

"Benji is your age." He tried to explain but he knew it wouldn't work. Even if he wasn't celibate and liked women like her he wouldn't date someone so young.

"Just let me give you something to eat." Before he could even reply his cell buzzed again.

He finally pulled it free of his pocket to check, he didn't think they had anyone sick at the moment but he didn't want to miss any emergencies while trying to be polite to her. He didn't recognize the number but he had a few texts that almost made him blush.

Unknown: She's pretty yeah? Innocent. Bet she tastes like strawberries and cream 😋

She can be quiet? I bet you could make her scream.

She wants to give you summat to eat??? Forgive me father…

He blinked down at his phone a few too many times. He felt frozen in place but it… it couldn't be. His fingers shook as he texted back. He hoped perhaps it was someone- anyone else. He couldn't help feeling like there were eyes on him so his gaze flicked around the room.

Colson: Who are you? How do you have this number?

"Father, are you okay? You look white as a sheet." Jessica asked but he just pocketed his phone and tried to lead her to the door without touching her.

"I'm not feeling well, I think I need a nap before lunch. I'm sorry Jess but I need to ask you to go." He tried to stay polite but she looked determined not to listen. As he led her down the hall to their entryway he kept thinking he saw shadows in the shape of a person but when he tried to look directly at one it disappeared. His pace quickened and she almost tripped so he tried to slow his steps and act like a normal person but it was a stretch on his best days.

"Did I say something to offend you?" She asked as they reached the door but he thought he heard footsteps behind them and it was hard to focus.

"Yes- no! Sh- um no. Jess. I'm sorry. I think I'm going to be sick and you shouldn't have to see that. That's all." He soothed, swallowing hard. He could feel sweat breaking out on his skin, he felt sticky and lightheaded but when he opened the door to let her leave the wind felt hotter than it should.

"That's alright! I don't mind taking care of you. You know I help my parents with my little siblings." She tried to stay yet again but something felt like ice down his spine and his stomach ached with nerves.

"I'll call you if I need something, how about that? You know how men can be when they're sick." He attempted a different tactic, he knew how staunchly male her father was. He was exactly the kind of man to hide in his cave when sick and deal with it on his own. That almost seemed to make her giggle but even then with her soft wind chime sound, all he could hear was the darker laugh. That sensual chuckle. What the hell was going on?

"Aw fuck. Did I miss mass?" A new voice made the Father jump but this time Jessica reacted too. He didn't want to look but he turned his head comically slow. He already knew what he'd find, he recognized the accent. He could feel it down to his bones.

The stranger was standing at the base of the church steps, sunglasses over his jade eyes. He was a sight in a white button up shirt with the word 'cunt' embroidered over the pocket- barely buttoned, fishnet sleeves under it, a plaid mini skirt, and thigh high pink socks. His red hair was wild and his lips as thick as Col remembered. He was ashamed that his nerves felt more like butterflies but he tried to swallow it down. He'd been trying to show Jess out but now he almost wanted to keep her as a shield between them but that wasn't right. Shit.

"You did. I was just trying to have lunch with the Father but he's not feeling well." The girl explained for him since he couldn't seem to make his vocal cords or mouth work and he watched as the boy texted something before his own phone buzzed. He was too scared to look at it yet.

"Aye, ya look sick Favher. Poor fing ya look like you seen a ghost or summat." The stranger purred and even with the sunglasses he could feel him wink. He could feel his gaze like a weight on his skin and it made him ache in a way he couldn't explain. He felt stripped bare.

He cleared his throat and wondered why his collar felt so tight. "Or something. She's right. Unless you need something I really should rest. You can join us later for mass. Jessica, thank you for understanding." She hadn't at all but he hoped it would help her take the hint and even though she pouted she started walking down the steps.

"See you later Father. I hope you feel better." She said with a smile but she kept looking back at the other man. He understood, it was hard to look away and he didn't know if it was because of the show he was all on his own or the beauty. "Nice to meet you-" Her polite upbringing had her pausing to be nice and the man pulled his glasses off. He tucked them into his pocket and offered her a grin that felt filthy on principle.

"Dom." Really? Of course it was.

"Dom. I hope you like our church." She nodded, giving him one more once over before wandering off to her car. Colson watched her until she drove away, something inside him didn't want to leave them alone until he knew she was safe but the moment she was out of sight he looked back to Dom.

"Ain't she a sweet fing? Ya don't even notice do ya? No. Your eyes are all for someone else." Colson didn't know what it was about the boy. Something dark seemed to follow him, something just felt off. Other.

"Yes, God." He tried to stop whatever the kid was working up to tease him about. He still couldn't believe he was back. He'd honestly started thinking he dreamed him up.

"Proper cheesy innit? I didn't fink you was allowed to lie." His voice dripped with something like sensuality as he took a step closer. Another. He was going to close the gap before Colson could make his feet work. He needed to move. He had to.

"I'm not lying. I don't- I'm not- Was there something you needed Dom? As she said, I'm not feeling my best." He stumbled back when there were only two stairs between them and the stranger gave him a Cheshire grin. For just a moment it looked like a Glasgow smile but when he blinked it disappeared. Fuck, maybe he was going insane.

"I can tell you missed me. Sick man. You been dreaming bout me." Colson couldn't shake his head faster but that one was a lie. He couldn't stop thinking about him. Why was he so scared?

"I- I have to- come back later please?" The last word was almost a whimper and he had to rush inside and close the heavy door between them. Finally he could take a deep breath. Finally he could ground himself. There was that laugh again, it felt like it was inside his skull and under his skin. His phone buzzed again and he full body jerked. It was too close to his cock and he was already hard. Just having the man so close had been too much, his body reacted no matter how his soul felt.

He gave himself a moment to calm down before he pulled the phone free. He knew what and who it was but he couldn't help wondering. Somehow even though he was desperate to get away, he craved the kid like a drug. He hadn't allowed himself an addiction in so long. It was terrifying how easily he was slipping back into it like an old favorite t shirt.

Unknown: I could make your mouth work. You want us alone? You jus had to ask.

Ooooh, hide and seek?

My favorite.

While he was holding the cell it buzzed again and a new message appeared.

Unknown: peek-a-boo!

I

See

You

Col swore he felt a breath on his cheek and a gentle touch over his cock. A soft noise escaped his lips but he tried to shake it off. His legs shook like a baby foal as he stumbled down the hall and towards the rectory. He needed a drink- of water of course. He needed to sit and breathe. Clear his mind. Buzz- his phone went off and he ignored it, keeping it down in his shaking hand. He pressed the volume down button hoping to silence it. Something he never did. By the time he got another door between him and the stranger he almost felt better. He just needed to relax, he was giving too much credit to someone who was probably just a boy with a priest kink.

He grabbed a bottle of cold water from his fridge before making his way to his study door and closed that behind him too. He still felt butterflies and nausea and was still so sweaty his shirt was going cold but still, he was feeling a little better. The first sip cooled his raw throat and wet his dry lips. As he took a seat he downed a little too much of the bottle but every drink felt amazing. When half of it was gone he set it down and looked at his phone again. He couldn't keep it on silent, he worried too much for his people.

Unknown: You look so nervous. I'm flattered 😉

Mmm, parched? I know wha'll hit the spot

You can run… Well you know

Another message appeared as he was reading and he felt a shock go down his spine.

Unknown: Boo 👻

His peripheral vision came back into focus and he realized he wasn't alone. Perched on the corner of his desk was the boy with his legs spread a little too wide. Colson refused to look. "H-how did you get in here?" He asked, his hand moving to set the phone down and drop to curl around his rosary. He didn't know what good it would do him but it certainly normally grounded him. His gaze flicked behind the boy to see the door open but he never heard it and that thing normally creaked.

Dom just smiled and tapped his foot against Col's knee as he swung his legs. He had to force himself not to realize how scandalous the kid was posed, he was leaning back on his elbows and spread out on the desk like he was waiting to get- fuck. He had to stop this. "I fhought you needed 'elp. Didn't want to leave you alone. 'Ere." He hummed, leaning closer to swipe his thumb across the Father's lips. It came away pink, as if he'd bled at some point. He knew he'd been chewing his lip but he didn't know he'd bit it so hard.

He watched rapt as Dom licked his finger clean and yet again he had to blink away the sight of black eyes. Maybe he was schizophrenic. Maybe he needed a doctor because it felt like God wasn't helping him at the moment. He cleared his throat and took another drink of his water but he choked on a mouthful, gagging when instead he tasted vodka. It spilled down his shirt and onto his lap and his hand shook as he tried to set it down. What was happening? He hadn't had a drink in years. He refused.

Dom giggled, reaching to help him out of his shirt but he stood too fast and knocked his chair back. Every time they touched he felt a jolt of electricity between them. "Someone's jumpy. You alright luv? Tha' collar looks a bit tight." The moment he said it the collar was choking him and he fell back against a bookshelf as Dom hopped off the desk and stalked closer. "But maybe you like tha'. Dirty Daddy."

Colson gasped for air, ripping his collar free as his dick throbbed in his suddenly too tight pants. He threw it away to fall discarded on the floor and didn't that feel like a bad analogy? Was his faith so easily shaken by a pretty boy? Was he demonizing someone just because he felt attraction? Once Dom was far too close he grinned and reached for the beads at Col's hip, teasing his fingers around them. "You ever wrap 'em around ya cock? Shove 'em up your ass and pull 'em out slow?" His voice dripped sin and made the priest tremble. Maybe he wasn't doing anything against the kid, maybe Dom truly was a test for him. Or maybe no one cared enough to try.

"Of course not. What do you want from me?" He asked, feeling defeated. Every breath was hot with alcohol and every pump of his heart filled his dick harder.

Dom dropped the rosary and let the Father breathe. He stepped back and halfway turned, making his way to the door, his hips swaying with every step. "Jus' you Colson. Jus' you. You'll see." He shrugged but before he could make it to the door he gave him one last smirk.

Something struck the priest, an old idea he'd heard in school. All the men had teased each other with it, calling each other out as demons. It had been a childish game but now he wondered how true it was… "Christo." He whispered, his throat still tight. He watched as the boy's eyes switched again, a blackness filling them before they faded back to jade. His mind quickly told him he hadn't seen anything though, he couldn't believe monsters truly existed. He was one of those priests that believed demons were simply vises- drugs, sex, alcohol, things like that. Inner battles. His mind swore that was why he was so scared of the boy, he was a mirror for his own inner demons but his hind brain had other ideas.

"See you later Favher." He purred before disappearing, taking the heat and the butterflies with him. Colson was left with a mess in the room, his nerves shot, and his cock so hard he was shaking. He looked at his rosary and thought to pray, but all he could picture was how nice it would feel wrapped around his shaft. Fuck- he had to get control of himself, put back on his collar, and find his calm. He had to stop being silly.

Author's Note/Tags: @iamnotanearthlingmotherfucker @hollywoodxwhore @jaxbreaker @fenoy7 @cole-way-iero28 🖤

I hope you're enjoying the Spooky Season gift! I've never really written horror but I'm having fun finding the sexy/scary line. Dom is a menace and I love it, I hope you do too! 👻🖤

[blackrabbit111]

~Twst android au, prequel draft~

"You are the sole heir to the worlds top tec company that makes everything from military weapons to remotes. Raised alone by your grandfather, you've found yourself alone since his passing and are struggling to find someone to turn too.

On a whim you go looking for one of his crack pot inventions in one of his old factory's. Only to find more then you were looking for"

An au fic I wrote months ago but never shared cuz insecure, But I'm down so I say heck to it 👍

Feed back and critic is appreciated especially on grammar😅Not sure how much I'll keep or if I will even make more but I might as well share what I've already made

The sound of a switch echoed as the warehouse lights shot on in uniform order one by one until the massive hanger sized warehouse was lit up. 

The walls and roof were vast and the rows upon rows of shelves were endless, each filled with who knows what? All different types of machinery, a tec nerd might see this as some gold mine full of decades worth of technology going back nearly fifty years according to your newly bequeathed assistant. 

You hadn’t even changed clothes yet. You were still in these uncomfortable shoes, these stuffy black clothes that were far too warm to wear indoors, even your hair had been newly styled at your “guardians” request. 

You don’t even remember most of the day ... just stepping into the car. 

“Master Yuu?” Your assistant’s voice tore you from your mindlessness, you hadn’t even noticed they’d stopped. You’d just kept walking down the isle of discarded tec. 

“O-oh? Sorry Mira, and please don’t call me that” You asked, your voice quite as always. You hated having to force a smile but manners like other things had been drilled into as a child, so you had no choice. 

“Of course, sorry” She gave you a sympathetic smile, one of the few you’d had despite the circumstance. With your years forcing smiles you had grown to recognize when someone else was faking it too. 

Mira was genuine at least “Are you sure you're up to this? We can wait a few more days?” 

You appreciated the thought, but your hand was going numb from signing forms. The owners of such documents, the sources of most of those forced smiles, they knew better than to be honest about what they wanted. Or else risk upsetting you and with the power you now had none of them could afford such a thing, for some literally. 

You shook your head no “I’m fine, just tierd. This is the third warehouse we’ve checked after all”  

Might as well of been the one hundred with the size of these things?! Your college campus was half the size of the last one 

“Could you go check with the site manager and see if they had any luck tracking it down? I’d like to keep looking around on my own” 

She nodded, lingering a bit before turning back to leave the way you both came her footsteps faded to echo’s and suddenly you were alone. 

The shelves were daunting like this, shaded over from the different levels framed the discarded bot shells in a creepy way. Yet that wasn’t what was on your mind. 

Not much … had been on your mind lately …  

Everything had felt- fuzzy? 

You were never the greatest at showing your feelings, you’d certainly been teased enough because of it growing up. 

It was easier to just make friends. (literally) 

Rustling through your pocket you pulled out an old worn leather-bound book. Its pagers were flakier than the old coot that had left it for you. Sticky notes and faded pages stuck out and fell lose as you flipped back through its ancient pages. 

Sketches, notes and old diagrams were all etched into it. Most had been released, just one of his many sketch books you’d had the ‘joy’ of flipping through. 

But there was one page that had caught your interest, 

“Project Wonderland” God he sucked at naming things. 

Among the faded doodles these few seemed the oldest, added in safter the pages had already been filled? Even Mira didn’t know what it was, and she seemed to have known more about his company than he had. She knew him more than you had... 

“Project Wonderland, Log #037. 

So far, all prototypes for model “Heart” have remained lacking, subject Ace ________ ____hap ___ _______ ___ ___ ___  ___ ____  ___________________ ________Riddle remains____ __________ ,strict rules_ _________. Further_______ ______ ______” 

The rest was too faded. 

Most of the scribbles summed up that amount. Even the more salvageable ones left too many holes to piece together anything that made sense? 

You groaned trying to make sense of it all. This was just a way to get away from all the work you still had to do, Mira’s suggestion, if not you’d probably still be sat behind that oversized desk, in that oversized chair signing the endless rotation of papers brought by your newly acquired legal department.  

Attending the by hourly meetings on new bot colors, branding and all the other topics you didn’t understand. That didn’t stop the bombarding you with requests and asking your opinions … more demanding... 

Day in day out, 

Right up until- 

-Nya! Lunch time! - 

 You were again torn from your invasive thoughts, the pitchy voice crying out from your pocket. 

-Nya! Lunch time! - 

-Nya! Lunch time! - 

-Nya! Lunch time! - 

Pulling the device from your pocket its screeching only seemed to get louder- 

-Nya! Lunch time! - 

-Nya! Lunch time! - 

-Nya! Lunch time! - 

-Nya! Lunch time! - 

-Nya! Lunch time! - 

Small, grey with a bright blue screen. Its body, an old tomogachi toy you had as a kid, now turned into a travel sized version of an ai interface. Your first attempt, robots were child's play to you. At the age of ten you were making drones on par with your grandfathers. You could code before you could spell your own name, which made passing online tests a breeze. 

Ai was different, specifically intelligent ones. 

Nowadays it was rarer to see a machine that didn’t have some type of interface built in, even kid’s toys could remind the child to brush their teeth. But the ones used for androids, the ones running shop tills and driving buses.  

Those were harder for you. 

-Nya! Lunch time! - 

-Nya! Lunch time! - 

“ALRIGHT! Sheesh....” 

 Generated, Response, intelligence, Model #008. Or Grim for short, you were still working out the kinks. Somehow it had begun to prioritize meal notifications, despite it being near 6pm it kept on screaming for lunch until you clicked off its alarm. 

It’s been nearly 2 weeks since you’d last had a free moment to look at the code, which meant round the clock alerts at random. 

You let out an audible groan “Maybe this really is a waste of time? ….....” 

You stared at the old, tattered book in your hands. His name engraved in white tread across the wine-red material 

“......” 

“......” 

“......” 

How were you supposed to feel? You didn’t know? 

You never knew, so when you could you’d just avoid it. Avoid feeling much of anything? 

Hence the names the other kids called you.  

“Freak-droid”, “Robot”, “dumb as a bot” .... it wasn’t your fault; you just weren’t good at being like them. You eventually learned to pretend, to force a smile or a chuckle when needed. 

It was better anyway; the robots were better. 

More time to hone your skills, why make friends when you can build them? That’s what you told yourself. 

Alone at school, alone at home... 

Nothing had changed … those two weeks ago.. 

You were still eating alone,  

Still spending the evenings alone, 

Still walking through those empty halls alone.... 

He was your only family, yet you were lucky if you saw him twice in one week. Either locked in his lab or at the office. He was never there. He was just, not with you, not beside you. 

You’ve always been alone, so why- 

“......” 

Why now … did you feel so- 

“......” 

His name engraved in white tread across the wine-red material 

You looked back at the books cover, His name still engraved in white tread across the wine-red material... 

 He was gone now... 

You were now … alone... 

“......” 

“......” 

“......” 

It was quiet here.... 

“Project ...wonderland?” you mumbled out loud. You don’t know why, but you began giggling. 

This was so unlike you, wandering around aimlessly. After this crazy idea that- that this MYSTERIOUS project could somehow be for you! Could somehow help you explain how to do a job you didn’t want or how you were supposed to feel or how to make this STUPID AI tell you about something other than LUNCH!!! 

“......” 

“......” 

“......” 

It was stupid of you … to think that... 

“......” 

“......” 

“......” 

You sniffled, having to dry your eyes before anything came out. You shook your head trying to think straight. 

It had been a good distraction, but it wasn’t important. You could get some intern to find it for you, you had those now apparently and they seemed despite. They nearly decked each other the first time you met after asking for a drink. 

Give extra credit to whichever one found it~ 

Perfect! You took another sharp inhale and turned to leave, ready to head back to the office. No doubt there would be a whole new stack of papers there to greet you when you arrive. 

Only to crash face first. 

Stumbling back, you looked up confused, there wasn’t anything behind you a moment ago- 

What you saw made you jump.  

He was tall, like REALLY tall. The dim light in of the war house casting his dark slender form in a shadow simply from looking down at you, his raven hair falling over his broad shoulders, his chiseled features pale as a ghost yet sharp and defined. 

He looked almost ethereal, if not for his eyes... 

They cut through the shadow that painted his form as if they glowed like screens in the dark. 

A piercing green that seemed to dance through the many shades, cut through by the black slit of his pupils. 

You were speechless, almost afraid to move in case he might pounce. A green grew on his face, as if your nerves amused him. 

“Are you okay?” 

His voice was deep, smooth, yet his tone was gentle? You were able to relax a little more but were still wary. Why was he here? Had he been following you?! 

“What do you want?” You ask bluntly, your voice is flat, yet he only seems to grin more at it letting out a small chuckle. 

“You were looking for something weren’t you? It’s a big facility, so I thought you could use some help” 

“How did you-?!” 

“Your assistant went back to speak the site manager; I noticed you weren’t with her, I’m sorry if I'm interrupting you” His appearance was still daunting, but he seemed genuine enough? You assumed he must work here. 

“O-oh? No, it’s alright, thank you. I was just heading back anyway” 

His head tilts “No luck then?” 

You shock your head “Something like that” Your forced smile grew back, deciding to be pleasant instead “I have better things to be doing is all, could you point me towards the exit?”   

A hand lifts to his chin as he lets out a hum in thought. 

“I believe I know a short cut? You took a rather unorthodox route here from what I could tell” He beamed again raising one hand to his chest while extending the other to guide the way, his sleek yet dark appearance, butler like movements plus his kind smile brought to mind a certain show you’d watched a few years ago? 

You thanked him, walking past him down the isles weaving left or right with his direction. 

He walked a few steps behind you simply directing you as a turn came up, otherwise you were both silent. 

The route was bizarre? Weaving in and out like an ally cat over a neighborhood's walls or roof tops, a fair comparison with his dark hair and and bright eye color, all in all you felt more lost than anything? 

Did he really know the way? His assuring nature just made him feel like he knew what he was talking about? 

“Sorry, but are you sure-?” Concerned, you turned to ask him about where he was taking you only to find more empty isles of shelves. This tall dark stranger had vanished, you looked around thinking you might have just gotten ahead of him? But he was nowhere to be seen... 

You cursed under your breath.... 

He had ditched you, you felt stupid for not too of seen this coming. After your little “Episode” you’d been so frustrated to get out you didn’t even think about it. At least he’d only gotten you lost, given your new net worth MUCH worse could have happened. 

You let out another sigh, you were really done with this. 

You began to dig around in your pocket for your phone, deciding to just call Mira and the staff to come find you. 

As you pulled it out your annoying- you're in need of updating Tamagotchi toy tumbled out with it. 

You groaned again, just one more thing gone wrong. 

-Nya! Lunch time! - 

It had slid under one of the shelving units, peering underneath you could just see it on the other side. The lights were out on that side, so it was a little hard to tell? 

After failing to swat at it you relented to having to try squeeze between the gaps of the two units, it was tight and the creaking noises it made as you nudged it made you nervous- 

-Nya! Lunch time! - 

-Nya! Lunch time! - 

But you knew it wouldn’t stop sending alerts if you didn’t get it... 

So, between the metal frames it was~! 

Squeezing your way through, you just managed to make it without knocking much off, you finally reach this annoying pest of a program. 

-Nya! Lunch time! - 

-Nya! Lunch time! - 

-Nya! Lu- 

And off it goes.... 

You’re about to plop your ‘pet’ back in your pocket when a light catches your eye? 

A low flash of red was glowing from the corner pile. 

This space was narrow, a small corner tucked away behind the shelves you hadn’t been able to see with the lack of lighting and old parts blocking your view from the isle. 

Walled in by the units and the warehouse walls, meaning you could just barely squeeze in. 

Stumbling a bit, you saw the source of the low red light. 

Two sleek metal crates, each taller yourself, were stacked against the wall tucked away between bits of cardboard. Each one looked huge black versions of those fancy box's phones come in, the red light shining from beneath its seal? 

Both metal caskets had gold engraving carved into their surfaces, some type of registration number and a symbol?  

“A1-164-♥ & D2-164-♥?” each read with a golden heart displayed above? 

It took a moment to click before you were again digging through your back pocket for the withered remains of a notebook, he’d left you. 

-Model Heart- 

“Project … wonderland?” you mumbled aloud now looking at these caskets like they were some mythical creatures that had hopped out from a children's story. 

Digging through the faded pages had already been difficult, now near impossible with only the glow of these things to see. You scanned it for anything that still counted as language that mentioned these things?  

Finally, a passage mostly filled with flawed calculations caught your eye 

“___ ________ ____ sleep mode while ins____, 

_____ _______________ _______urther funds ____ ______ coffins develop___” 

“____subject Silv____ ___ _______ ________ more time in sleep_____.  

_______ _____ bug reports t_ ___________ later.” 

The rest is more faded calculations. 

The texts were mostly useless, it was the sketches that caught your eye. 

Like most of this leather-bound pile of dust the sketches were rough, looking to be more concepts rather than any type of blueprints? They mentioned some type of access panel on the front, molded to match one of the seven symbols outlined in more detail earlier in the notes. 

It was easy to assume it was that gold heart etched into the metal caskets casing. 

You didn’t really think, more just acted. 

Reaching out, you laced your palm over the etching of a golden heart. 

Nothing happened, at first, but suddenly the gold coloring was painted over by that same crimson red from under the seal. The etching became filled in causing you to flinch and pull your hand back, as if it had sent some type of signal to its twin, the other caskets matching heart also lit up now an almost blinding light. 

“Palm scan complete~ 

Connection established” An obnoxiously cheery voice sang 

“Running security check, 

Running diagnostics check, 

Running personal check” It read off line after line, running upload bars through one after the other. Most of the more complicated one’s were lost on you and your limited knowledge of software; it was much easier for you to follow the hardware terminology meaning at the very least you could piece together it was running checks on some type of high moveability machine? 

“All preparation checks complete for model’s A1-164-♥ & D2-164-♥. 

How gracious~ 

Beginning reupload of data files of model’s A1-164-♥ & D2-164-♥” It had all loaded pretty quickly until now, each screen uploading in seconds, but now- 

“Loading- 

Loading- 

Loading- 

-ERROR- 

Unable to recover crucial data, beginning recovery measures- 

-ERROR- 

-ERROR- 

-ERROR-” Both screens began to flash with alerts, as if the system’s attempts to recover whatever it couldn’t was somehow causing the other files to corrupt. You were by no means an expert, but you knew if you didn’t act soon the whole system would be unsalvageable 

“-ERROR- 

-ERROR- 

-ERROR-” still panicked, you put your hand back to the screen swiping away as many of the alerts as you could to try and get at the recovery icon. 

“-ERROR- 

-ERROR-” 

The alerts were popping up faster than you could close them, with little other choice you did the only thing you could think of in this panicked moment 

“Cancel recovery measures! Proceed with upload as is!” You yelled hoping for some type of response, and just as you did the corrupting screens froze, the loading bar froze, the whole screen froze …. before another loading bar popped up. 

Slowly it filled, there was a brief pause before- 

“Upload complete~ 

All systems ready, deactivating sleep mode for models A1-164-♥ & D2-164-♥” 

A relived sigh escaped you, the screen shut off before the crimson glow faded as both seals jutted forward a white cloud of steam blowing out as the casket undid its releases. 

The doors slid open, tucking their lids around each of their left sides. 

The cloud died down finally letting you see inside, having the squint at first you thought at first you were mistaken. But now you were certain, two figures stood within. 

One with boyish features, red spikey hair and a heart shape painted over one eye. 

The other slightly taller, features sharper with flat raven hair and a spade shape painted to match their opposite. 

Wide eyed, you didn’t notice you held a breath once they stepped forward. You tried to speak, ask them questions like if they were okay or why they were in there? Only for it to come out as mumbles once their eyes both shot open in synch. That same pixelated crimson flashing over their eyes only to fade again replaced by their respective red and blue iris’s. 

The red one blinked, you held your breath again... 

The blue one held its head staggering a bit before both their sights landed on you. 

…..... 

…..... 

….... 

You all stood their starring for a moment; afraid moving might activate some attack mode or- 

“Excuse me but-” 

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH?!!?” 

[japhan2024]

Whew, so here is the sequel to that one fic I wrote! I'm so glad I correctly predicted that the 'angry letter' wasn't such a big deal lmao and also that it was way more stressful for Anthony than for Ian.

Here is the link to part 1:

And here is a link to that one vine that suits this part of the story LMAO (it was shown to me by my former tumblr and irl bestie who I have sadly no contact with anymore T_T)

So here it goes...

"Ian, I'm so sorry, I feel so terrible".

"What do you mean?"

Anthony had to pinch himself every morning to check if he was truly awake or still in a blissful dream world. He and Ian were back together. And not only had they reconnected, but they had bought back Smosh! It was finally Anthony's and Ian's again. They had a great work schedule that they had set up themselves, and they also made it a point to just hang out together and enjoy life outside of Smosh. To be honest with himself, he loved the made-up time off-camera with Ian the most. They didn't have to go anywhere fancy: just chilling, just the two of them, was enough. How Anthony had gotten so lucky as to have that time with his again-best friend was beyond him.

And with great joy and happiness come great levels of stress and anxiety. Anthony knew himself well enough to acknowledge that he was freaking out even though he didn't have to. That his feelings did not care about any facts or numbers. They were raging inside him like a gut-wrenching scream - all the time. His nervous laughter, which everyone mistook for joy, pushed its way out over his lips like vomit. He hated that about himself. So easy to make laugh but so hard to actually make happy... there was only one person in the world who actually could do that second thing.

"Dude, it's okay, whatever it is, you're safe here, okay?"

The last couple of months, Anthony found himself yo-yoing between moments of true happiness and then paralyzing fear that it wasn't real or that it would go away again. And surely, one of the first few videos he and Ian did together already sent him spiraling again. What a ludicrous idea to show Ian his old diary.

"Anthony, you don't have to worry, okay?"

Ian's ability to make things alright had been both a blessing and a curse for their friendship in the past. He would focus so hard on the positive that Anthony would - temporarily - forget the bad stuff. So, on the one hand, Anthony really wanted Ian to know just how hurt he had been, all those years ago, and at the same time, he also wanted to gauge whether Ian had cared at all. He cared now, that was for sure. They had talked like never before. They had built an entirely new friendship on the ashes that lay beneath them. A stronger friendship, a more mature one, but he and Ian were still the same puzzle pieces that fit perfectly together. So perfectly, in fact, that making sketches together felt like no time had passed at all between Anthony leaving Smosh and present day. But some remnants of Anthony's hurt feelings remained, and he just wanted to have complete closure. The only way to do that - he'd thought - was to read his angry diary-entry to his friend that he loved so dearly. How cruel. He had seen the hurt in Ian's eyes. Of course Ian had cared. Even more than Anthony had hoped for. He had considered him a best friend for years longer than Anthony had done.

"I don't want to lose you again".

Right now, he didn't want to look Ian in the eye again. He'd been so dumb. One of his old bad habits was manifesting itself once again: he was begging. Just like he had begged his ex-fiancée to get back together, only to be rejected, just like he had begged Ian all those years ago to force their friendship back to where he'd thought it should be, even though neither of them had been ready at that time... now he was begging once again. At his best friend's doorstep, no less. Ian had let him in, of course, but he probably wanted to do other things right now than console Anthony in the midst of a breakdown just as they both had bought their channel, their company back...

But two soft and familiar hands placed themselves around Anthony's face and turned it upwards. And two of the brightest blue eyes in the world looked at him with love.

"... and I will NEVER, never let anything come between us, ever again."

~

"So that was weird, huh!" Anthony let out a high-pitched laugh. It was a few days later, and he was at Ian's place once more. Ian had invited him to a celebration, just the two of them. It was early in the evening, and they were sat in Ian's pool and drinking champagne.

"Dude, it was just the nerves. I know how your nerves get, "Ian replied. "I was still stressing about all of this too, you know, we are in uncharted territory right now."

"Yeah, you're right." Another nervous laugh. Anthony was relieved, though, that Ian didn't think he was crazy or unstable or anything. He looked at his best friend. He was so fond of the 'new Ian', the one who had done serious personal growth, who - off camera - had apologized to him for more than had been necessary, the one who Anthony could really rely on and trust more than anyone, even his own girlfriend. He also loved that Ian was still as goofy, or maybe goofier than before even. He laughed now, truly and from the heart.

"What're you laughing about?" Ian said in his playful tone.

"Oh, I am just happy. But for real Ian, I'm so happy. This is so nice. And damn this champagne is goood."

"You better not be peeing in my pool again!"

"I might."

Ian laughed loudly, a laugh Anthony knew was only reserved for him. He felt proud and giddy that he still had it, the ability to make his best friend break out in laughter.

"So, Anthony, it's time for something special."

Ian got out of the pool. Anthony couldn't help but notice how Ian's body looked so different than when they were younger. Obviously, he had undergone a transformation himself, but he rarely saw Ian without a sweater or a shirt. He looked good.

"Are you coming or what?"

Anthony quickly stopped staring and joined Ian at his outside lounge chairs. Ian looked like he was up to something.

"So, you just wait right there, okay?"

"Sure."

Ian disappeared into his villa. Now Anthony felt slightly anxious again, that inner scream fighting to resurface once more, but he held it in. And soon enough, Ian appeared again, with a bottle of whiskey and a box that looked like some old-timey book or something.

"Oh, I see, we're going to really celebrate!"

"Yea-he-hess", Ian replied with a smile as he poured Anthony a small glass of whiskey.

"Do you usually smoke cigars though?" Anthony had to ask.

"No, babeyy, this is only for the most special of occasions!" Ian looked at him with a mischievous smirk and handed Anthony one of the cigars.

Anthony was about to put it into his mouth when he said: "why is this weirdly sexual?They both laughed. Anthony loved that Ian was still into the same dumb humor as he was. "Shut up and put it in your mouth!" Ian joked as he lit Anthony's cigar. The moment truly was intimate, and as he locked eyes with his best friend, Anthony felt a different kind of nerves swell up inside him. His cheeks turned dark-red.

"Dude, you're not supposed to suck in so much at once!" It was already too late. An intense tingling took over Anthony's senses, even after he burst out laughing at Ian's remark and almost choked coughing. "Wow, this is some good stuff," he said in a throaty voice.

The whiskey and the cigars kept Ian and Anthony talking deep into the night. The LA skyline was beautiful as they looked at it from Ian's garden. They were still in the lounge chairs, but Ian sat down next to Anthony on his chair, so they were sharing one seat.

"Listen up," he said, "we could have done this for a try not to laugh type video or some shit. But in the spirit of our friendship, I'm showing you now." Ian showed Anthony his phone screen. It was memes. They both laughed hysterically at the first few.

Anthony replied: "Some of these are really old but so good, I didn't even remember them until you showed them to me."

"Listen up," Ian said again - the whiskey bottle was significantly advanced - "I have been curating the absolute shite out of this list for years. Only if I had to physically laugh, no nasal or just grinning, I had to really laugh, THEN I added it. And I curated it specifically for you."

"You haven't shown anyone this?" Anthony said incredulously.

"No bitch, who else would laugh as much at dick jokes except you and myself?"

They were no longer smoking or drinking. They were just laughing at the memes. Anthony couldn't think of anything better than this. It felt so much like old times, it was incredible to him. He felt so warm and appreciated. He felt so at home. As his eyes got heavier, he let his head rest on Ian's shoulder. Not two moments later, he was fast asleep.

[sroloc--elbisivni]

bunnyguard reflection

in the spirit of 'fuckit it's my own blog i can be sappy if i want to' as well as 'this took a year and 78k and i get to keep talking about it for at least one more day' now and here is the time and place for personal yap that did not go in the last author's note.

preliminarily speaking, i had this concept in mind before I'd finished either the usagi yojimbo comics OR watching Rise. i spent so much of both of those series fishing out little moments and choices by leo and usagi that made me go 'oh my god i NEED these guys to meet, i need to watch them bounce off each other.' I kept collecting snips of ideas, and dialogue, and encounters that never quite all panned out or fit together because this was just so much fun for me to play in. I had a lot of wanting to turn this into a real story but no concrete frame to build it on, and then in january i saw the year of the otp prompts go by. and went 'oh haha that looks fun.' it was even the year of the rabbit. and then i went 'oh!! what if i did VIGNETTES for these!!' and then less than three days later the Battle Nexus as political element of the Hidden City, complete with connections to the very different other iteration of it that we'd seen, fell into place and suddenly this silly little whim was an actual big project staring me down with an ambitious goal in mind, and I had no idea if I could pull it off.

structuring it as a month by month thing was something i'd never done before. it forced me to wait to find out what would happen, to keep building to something that didn't exist yet, to lay down the track while I was driving the train. and at the same time, it gave me space to grow, to practice putting together a beginning, middle, and end every month. and it gave me something to look forward to, and the excitement of dropping in threads that wouldn't pay off for months, and watching as it went to see what the audience reaction would be. were people getting out of it the things i wanted to give them? was i hitting the notes i wanted? i had the sketch of the year, but i was still learning what was going to happen until the moment the last word hit the page. plot and character choices, but also big thematic stuff! i described November's fic as 'the ten of swords' to Space and then went 'wait a fucking second' and realized that I could draw a connection, in order, between each fic and a numerical card of tarot's suit of swords. (mostly one-to-one --october straddles 9-10, and December loops us back around to the Ace of swords, for new beginnings.) i couldn't have done that on purpose. if i'd had that thought in january i would have gone 'no that's too pretentious and too hard' and avoided it.

also!! this has been a year of my life!! over the course of this series, i've had four different living situations (that lasted longer than a week), two different jobs, and gone back to school. i had to change meds, which was an anxious ordeal in 'am i even going to be able to focus on anything now?' the cat that was purring on my lap while i worked on the first few months has now passed away. this fic kept me company on the flight for my move to a different continent. it kept me sane in the middle of a very stressful summer. it's helped me meet and get closer to some really cool people. i can FEEL how it's made me a stronger writer.

and on top of all that: i am deeply, genuinely, truly proud of this series. i'm glad i wrote it. i'm amazed at how it's turned out. i can see things i would change if i did it over, but i'm glad i won't be. i'm glad this is the way it exists. and i am utterly blown away that there are people who told me they were looking forward to it every month, that they've been following it since the beginning, that they like what i've done with this place. this is the longest-term project i've ever done. it's the most words i've ever put into a single narrative. i can't believe it's never going on my wip rotation again. whadda hell.

i have no idea if i'll ever do anything like this again. i hope it won't be anytime soon--there are other things i want to do in the meantime. but god, am i glad i did it.