#have we considered: funniest and best idea ever

[arrowpunk]

Teaching myself audio editing for reasons and I am enjoying it way more than I thought I would. It's like kind of relaxing and meditative tbh...

[sanicsmut]

Gojo Satoru x Confident!Plus Size!Reader

Warnings : she/her reader, fatphobia, mention of food but it’s not related to reader’s weight, use of the word ‘fat’ but positively. I don’t know if it could be considered slight angst if reader isn’t affected by the fatphobia.

Words: 733

Robin’s comment: We need more fics with a fat reader who doesn't feel bad about being fat and doesn't doubt being hot even when confronted with fatphobia. It’s pretty short. I don’t have the attention span to write a long and coherent thing, so I hope it’ll be enough. Keep in mind that I don’t actually write that much, and that english isn’t my first language and I don't have a beta reader. If the use of the word 'fat', even in a positive way, is triggering for you i'd advise you to not read this.

Like every day, you decided to visit your boyfriend during his break. He wasn’t on a mission, thankfully, which meant you could steal more time with him. You walked through the streets of Tokyo, your black skirt fluttering in the wind as you walked. You thanked your past self for thinking about wearing shorts, you didn’t want all of Tokyo to see your backside, this was a privilege for your boyfriend after all. Your handbag was filled with all kinds of sweets for him — how else would you thank him for being the best partner you’ve ever had ?

You were passing a café near Jujutsu High when you heard people laughing. You didn’t pay attention to it, initially, but when you heard the words ‘whale’ and other very funny — sarcasm — comparisons. It was true, you were fat. Yes, fat, not chubby or plus sized. No, fat, and not in the ‘norm fitting’ way that would make you an acceptable type of fat in the eyes of skinny people and the beauty norms, no you were… just you. Fat. You always said it wasn’t a bad word, people said skinny with no negative connotation after all, so why not fat ? And you weren’t ashamed of it, you loved your body, you loved how your clothes looked on you, you loved your fat and your rolls and even your stretch marks and everything that came with being bigger than average. Really. But that pride didn’t stop stupid and ignorant people from commenting on your physical appearance as if it was the funniest shit ever.

You turned your gaze to a table in front of the café and, surely, a group of people was sitting there. Boys and girls alike were laughing, some looking not very subtly in your direction. You walked towards them and they all fell silent.

“A whale, huh?” You said. You almost wanted to laugh at their dumbfounded expressions.

“We… uh… We weren’t talking about you.” One of the boy managed to say awkwardly. He kept looking everywhere but you.

“Oh but you were. What did you say?” You asked, looking at the girl sitting right next to him. “What was it? There’s gonna be an earthquake if I keep walking?”

She shrunk in her seat. You could be very intimidating when you wanted to.

“That’s funny.” You commented, not looking amused in the slightest. “Now let me tell you. All of you. You’re lucky I’m not ashamed of being fat. As a matter of fact, I’d say I’m pretty hot. So your comments don’t do shit to me. However, there are people out there who aren’t as confident as I am. Do you have any idea of the impact these kinds of comments can have on someone? Do you think people can choose to be fat ot not? Do you think we don’t know we’re fat? Do you think saying this will change our life and create a miracle maybe? It’s our life, our bodies, right? If you’re disgusted by fat people, you’re the problem. Go see a fucking therapist and work on your inner insecurities, because this is pathetic.”

Silence.

“It’s easy to talk when you think we can’t hear you, but you fall silent when I’m confronting you?”

You scoffed.

“That’s what I thought. Anyway. Next time you see someone who doesn’t fit your beauty standards, maybe keep if for yourself because nobody cares. And try not to insult them, I doubt you’d appreciate if I commented on your very obvious physical flaws.”

They all looked pretty uncomfortable, you simply threw them another condescending glance before walking away. What a group of stupid idiots.

“Now that was pretty hot.”

You could recognize that voice anywhere.

“Satoru!” You exclaimed, beaming.

You turned around and, surely, he was here in all his glory.

“You were a bit late so I went outside to wait for you.” He grinned, taking you in his arms. “I’m glad to see my beautiful girlfriend is still as fiery as ever.”

You practically melted in his embrace, pressing a kiss on his lips.

“I couldn’t let them think they could get away with this.”

“And you did a good job, sweetheart, I’m proud of you. I'd say no one can mess with my girlfriend, but at this point you don't even need me to defend you.”

You smiled, leaning away just enough to take the sweets out of your bag.

“Here, for being the best boyfriend ever.”

“Are you trying to make me fall in love even more?” He said lightheartedly. “Thanks, wanna share them?”

“Gladly.”

[squerlly]

Fair Exchange Chapter 5

------"some silences can scream louder than words ever could"--------

Alastor x (F! wife doe reader)

The Doe-----------------------------------------------------

It was later in the morning when Charlie wanted us to do a show and tell day, we all reluctantly agreed but Alastor stayed behind to eat his breakfast. it was Angel's turn claiming he wanted to show us his "best film." I figured it was a movie or play but... it was a porn video...

I tried to keep my eyes away, swiping invisible dust from my dress attempting to stay distracted. Husk eventually jumps in arguing with Angel "Everybody likes to bitch to the bartender! I know everything about you and these motherfuckers" he points at Pentious "That one's an insecure buffoon who watches you all sleep at night" he then points to Charlie and vaggie and then me "that one's constantly taking bullets from everybody because she's a pushover and nifty, tch you don't even wanna know what her deal is." I'm not a pushover...

the argument is short-lived when Angel gets a call from his boss calling him in for work, talking about some emergency shoot and storming out.

Charlie wanted to go and help get Angel some time off of work by talking to his boss, I would have gone with her but I know Alastor wouldn't be too happy if I was out in the Vees district without him. seeing as how our last visit went I don't think it would be a good idea.

Charlie left and I went back upstairs to Alastors room to pick up his dishes, knocking on the door "Alastor? may I come in" There was a long pause before the door opened, Alastors shadow giving me a grin as he stepped aside to let me in. I don't really see Alastor's shadow that often considering he only uses it for scouting, investigating, or fetching things when I'm not available.

however, when I stumble upon his shadow, it stares at me with that same evil grin. from what I have gathered over the years, the shadow is just an extension of Alastor, mimicking his personality and actions. Sometimes, if you look closely, it can display his emotions with its cold black body and inky blue tongue. It's more curious than Alastor, peering around people's shoulders and poking through others business. I never seemed to mind it.

there's something different this time, it's acting off. usually, it just pokes around and then returns to Alastor but not this time. No, it's staring at me, watching me, almost like it's inspecting me... I try to ignore it, walking over to pick up Alastors dish "Thank you my dear" "of course, is there anything else you need?" "no, your free to enjoy the rest of your morning"

I turn to leave but then remember something "Oh I almost forgot, do you mind if I grab a book from your shelf, I finished my other two.." not looking up from his desk he says "As long as you don't touch the books on the top shelf" I look at the shelf of various books next to his fireplace, walking up to choose one. I like to read romance and fantasy, but Alastor as romantic as people say he is, doesn't collect those types of novels. he likes books that are mostly nonfiction.

I ended up choosing a book that wasn't too thick just enough to pass the time and left the room, heading to the kitchen to drop off the plate. on my way there I see something rush from the corner of my eyes but when I look around there's nothing there, that was until I turn back to keep walking. I ended up running right through Alastors shadow, A cold chill running up my spine from its solvent body.

I quickly regain composure, making sure to not drop the plate in my hands "Oh for all that is unholy, you scared me!" I said looking at the shadow "Do you uhh... need something?" it cocks its head and smiles like I said the funniest thing in the world "ok... I guess not." I continue on to the kitchen, washing the dishes before heading upstairs to my room to read, all while having it follow me the entire time.

I walk into my room, kicking off my heels with a tired huff and I plop down on my bed "Are you going to stay here all day?" I say to the shadow that is currently looming around my room, snooping through drawers and various items. I should tell Alastor that there is something wrong with his shadow, but... I'm curious to see what it wants.

I decided to leave it alone since it's not causing much trouble, it's just exploring. I lay back on my bed against the headboard and opened the book to the first page, I only got to page 10 before the shadow poked its head through the book to look at me "Alastor will be mad if you're over here, I suggest you behave" it hovered over me with a frown and it felt almost illegal to see, Alastor never frowns and to see his shadow do it feels wrong "wait... I'm sorry I won't tell him you're here, promise" it doesn't smile but it's not frowning either, it just leans closer to me until I'm nose to nose with it.

it brought a hand to my face and to my surprise I could feel it, not just that cold feeling when it runs through you but its hand was well...there. not knowing what to do I just sat there watching as it caressed my cheek earning a blush from me. what is wrong with me, blushing at Alastors shadow, it's not even a real person, but it feels like it is "What is it you want...?" I say practically whispering.

the door opens startling me and making the shadow turn its head. Alastor stands at the door with a strained smile "Enough!" he says, his voice laced with static. the shadow frowns and retreats behind Alastor "Apologies my dear, it has a mind of its own..." he said through gritted teeth, shooting the shadow a glare "I-it's ok it didn't do anything bad-" "This will never happen again, I will make sure of it." he says in a harsh tone. I opened my mouth to say something but quickly shut it, not wanting to aggravate the situation more.

"Alright..." I say and he turns on his heel to walk back to his room, the shadow looks back at me one more time before it follows Alastor down the hallway. I feel almost sorry for it, even though it's not technically its own person it's still capable of feelings... Alastors feelings. but it makes me wonder, if that shadow is a part of Alastor, emotions, thoughts and all, what was it doing? Why was it following me? and why was Alastor so angry...

there was a loud thud downstairs and I slid off my bed, put my shoes on, and walked downstairs. Charlie had returned but she looked pretty upset "Charlie, how did it go with Angel?" "I messed up, I- I made him angry at me and-" vaggie walks up to her rubbing her back "Hay it's okay, maybe he didn't mean it!" Charlie bursts out in tears and vaggie whisks her away to comfort her.

Husk scoffs from the bar and I scowl at him "Don't be like that!" he growls and takes a swig from his bottle "She's too soft for her own good" I sigh and walk over to take a seat on a stool "a lot like you, showing kindness to other who don't deserve it" "is it so bad that I don't want to be like any other person in this horrible place!" he raises a brow at my sudden outburst "what's on your mind..?" "there's nothi-" "yes there is, your frustrated."

I stare at the counter thinking about my next few words before I speak "Do you think Alastor hates me?" I feel stupid for asking such a thing, but Husk doesn't question it "I doubt that creep likes anyone but himself" I frown and he seems to notice because of what he says next "But I wouldn't be surprised if he did like you" I throw him a puzzled look "why do you think that?" "tch, haven't you ever questioned why Alastor made you his wife" he was right, Alastor was an overlord, if he needed somebody to prepare his meals and clean his house he could just...buy a maid.

"no, I- I haven't..." When Alastor and I first discussed our contract, he said that he and my ex-husband would trade places, me being married to Alastor in exchange for complete devotion to him...and my soul. in the 1950s it was looked down on to divorce your husband or divorce at all, and now that I looked back at it I didn't care about my reputation enough not to get a divorce. but I was desperate for an escape, and desperation makes you do stupid things.

"if he didn't tolerate you, he wouldn't have married you, it's one of the weirdest contracts I ever saw but I wouldn't pry into it too much, just know you're the last person on his shit list" I nod but that doesn't explain why he was so angry, was he even angry at me? suddenly the door to the hotel opens and Angel walks over looking spent.

he plops down on the stool down from me and asks for the strongest drink Husk can make "Excuse me, didn't think this was a drink to forget kinda night" Angel and Husk end up fighting about Angels "acting" resulting in Angel throwing a bottle. I stand away and steer clear of the glass shards before watching Angel storm off "Angel wait..." he pushes past vaggie and out the door. vaggie tells Husk to go after him and Charlie leaves to go make "100 apology letters."

eventually, Husk returns with Angel, laughing and talking while being dirtied and damaged. Charlie rushes over to Angel and apologizes over 50 times before he reassures her "He he he he he said HE FORGAVE ME!!!" Charlie says in tears while vaggie carries her back to their room. I quickly run up to Angel checking up on him "Angel!! are you ok you- you're covered in blood."

"ahh don't worry tuts, I'm alright" I breathe a sigh of relief, thankful that Angel isn't hurt "Come on, let's go get a drink" "Oh angel I don't-" "I won't make you anything strong, Alastor would kill me if I did" I hesitate but agree "Ok, but just for a little while..."

so sorry this came out late but here it is!! chapter 5!!! I got writer's block halfway through but still managed to make it work. I will be gone for the weekend to Knots Berry Farm for a family trip so expect chapter 6 to be a little late. and with that have a wonderful day/night love you all!!!

-squerlly

@kimmis-stuff @pooplyface1423 @strippezzz

for more content and chapters please click this masterlist

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Elsie Ames (General Nuisance, His Ex Marks the Spot, The Taming of the Snood)— This woman managed to get one of her feet up on a table and held it there long enough to get the other foot up before her body fell to the floor in The Taming of the Snood. I have no idea how that's even physically possible but the woman is a brilliant comedic actress, the like of which we will probably never see again. She's pretty and ballsy and the funniest person who ever lived. I know she's not considered a starlet or anything, but she's a starlet to me and all my sisters.

Juanita Moore (Imitation of Life)— She was the third black actress to be nominated for Best Supporting Actress! She was also friends with James Baldwin (!) and got her other friend Marlon Brando (!!) to finance his play. She also met her husband of fifty years by nearly being hit by his bus which should be in a romcon, tbh. There's also a whole documentary about how she'd been ignored and overlooked due to Hollywood racism, so she deserves more attention!

This is round 1 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut]

Juanita Moore:

[pixiedustandfairypowers]

The Mario/Bowser/Peach love triangle will always be the funniest thing to me

I know many of you are thinking that it's not really a love triangle since one of them is clearly more evil than the other and there's absolutely no chance that Peach would ever actually get together with Bowser... right?

I dunno about you, but it seems to me that this kind of reaction is a bit more than just being worried that he's going to hurt his friend. The second one especially is in the context of a scene where Bowser starts offering Peach flowers and this panicked reaction seems to indicate that Mario has some sort of insecurity that she might WILLINGLY choose Bowser over him. Like the whole ordeal that she had been through wouldn't be enough to turn her off of Bowser completely.

And Bowser himself was quite insecure throughout the 2023 movie:

"So like Peach was super impressed?"

"Does the Princess like him?"

"DO PRINCESSES FIND HIM ATTRACTIVE!?!?"

Also another way that they're similar:

Even when they're imprisoned all they can think about is their love for her while there's romantic song playing.

Mario is obviously a good guy but his motives for rescuing Peach seem less than perfect, as on some level he just really wants to be with her and I think he's under the impression that for all the obstacles he clears for her to rescue her, that Peach might one day reciprocate his feelings. And in Bowser's case, he thinks that kidnapping her and giving her all the best things in the world would win her over: the finest dress, the finest cake, a wedding on the moon, he'd even steal a powerful star so they could be invincible together.

I also think that both guys feel insecure because the other has something that he doesn't: in Mario's case, he's just a lowly plumber who has feelings for a princess, and there's no way that someone of his status would ever be interesting to someone like her. And in Bowser's case, he may be a king and have many riches to be proud of but he's also not human and therefore has reason to be insecure about whether or not a princess could ever find a turtle like him to be attractive.

But as we all know, she just straight up rejects both of them.

"Enough!"

But with the way she's scolding them, it's like she's putting both of them ON THE SAME LEVEL, like she's just tired of constantly being caught up in their silly love rivalry where at the end of the day, it was all just a way for them to show off and win her over without really taking the time to consider her feelings at all. Even if she did truly have romantic feelings for Mario somewhere, do you really think her priority is trying to navigate those when she's under the constant stress of being kidnapped and running a kingdom to go with it?

On some level, I'm not really sure I ever want this love triangle resolved. It's just too funny otherwise. This idea that Mario and Bowser are actually friends deep down...

...but all of their fighting, their famous deep seated rivalry, is not so much due to them hating each other personally, but instead it's all because of a girl.

[magicxc]

Aunt Flo

Pairings: Survey Corps x Black!Reader

Word Count: 1052

Warnings: none

A/N: Because most of us have a very intimate experience with periods, it’s come to be a normal part of our lives; and in a sense something we’ve become desensitized to. The mood swings, the cramps, the pain, the heavy flows, the birth controls we take to stop it, etc. The list literally goes on. But disassociate, if you can, a life without periods and tell me really, which guy you’d be like if your partner had them.

Eren - lowkey disgusted, but holds it together for your sake and gets better over time. 

Eren vocally gagged the first time he saw your stained underwear. He’s no stranger to blood but he’s found it quite tricky to wrap his head around vaginal bleeding. He’s patting you on your back with a broom in hopes that you’ll feel better because he’s just not that far on the emotional intelligence scale yet. But as time goes on, the more he gets used to the idea of it and while he’s still a bit iffy, he’s nowhere near as repulsed as he once was.

Levi - the clean freak is not having it. 

While he is an adult about the situation his efforts to ensure you, a heavy bleeder, doesn't stain anything can very easily cross over from comforting to annoying. In the beginning he’s lining your side of the bed with absorbent pads; like the ones you train your pets to pee on. But not just for sleep, you must use them for sitting as well. His hydrogen peroxide has since tripled considering he washes all the clothes for you both. But your last straw was him suggesting you wear a tampon with your pad. Levi had the physical part of things down packed. It was his sensitivity he needed training on. In time though, he becomes more considerate.

Erwin - understands that it's normal and is very neutral to it all. 

He isn’t rolling out the wagon with any treats or anything because it's human nature. It is literally another day for Erwin. To say he doesn’t care is an exaggeration and a bit unfair. He does care about your wellbeing, but he doesn't really view periods as a sickness or hindrance because, well, he is a realist and doesn’t think too much of it since, once again, it’s natural. So long as you’re not in any physical pain, he’s fucking off to work somewhere. The most you’ll get out of him is herbal tea and extra forehead kisses; a back massage if you’re lucky.

Connie - The learner; literally tell him everything there is to know.

The first time Connie saw you stain the sheets from your vag of all places, he thought you were dying. He was literally two thirds of the numbers in from dialing 911 when he woke up to such a scene. That was top three funniest reasons you ever woke up laughing, and on your period no less. Even though he’s unfamiliar about most things aunt flo, teaching him has been an absolute joy because he’s genuinely interested and keeps you cackling. You’ve taught Connie the ins and outs alongside your personal preferences for such a time. And with his piquing interest eventually the grasshopper became the master; oftentimes pre-empting your visit before you get the chance to - and accurately at that.

Jean - another neutral one who doesn’t too much care for the occasion. 

Jean carries on as usual in his daily activities. Periods don’t bother him and he understands that the only effective way he can help is gonna be followed by 18 years of child care. Therefore he lets you keep to yourself and tries his best to stay out the way to avoid making you any crankier. It isn't until he overhears Sasha and Mikasa talk about what a perfect period would look like for them does he get a light bulb moment to interfere a little. Jean still leaves you be for the most part, and he's still off doing whatever it is that he does, but he has made an effort to shower you in a few comfort items when the time comes. 

Onyankopon - the know it all. 

While you are grateful for such an intelligent man, you’ve come to dread the month for two reasons now. Ony, for whatever reason, actually knows more about the topic than you do, treating each month as a biology lesson on why the uterus sheds its lining “every 23-35 days” and the benefits behind it. That big beautiful brain of his is something that you wholeheartedly adore, but just not during aunt flo. In fact, it’s you who evades him. Eventually he comes to understand that it may not be the most appropriate time for in depth learning, but still comes prepared with a fun fact or two.

Reiner - moral support is the best he can offer you at this time. 

Reiner just about doubles over at the idea of blood shed, even if this one is quote on quote natural for you. He doesn't find it disgusting but after all the fighting he’s done, he simply cannot take it. That, coupled with the idea that it brings you pelvic pain, tender breasts, and ongoing headaches? The man is practically in agony right alongside you; bedridden and anxious. He may prove useless for the time being, but he tends to shower you with gifts and good loving afterwards to make up for his squeamish ways. 

Armin - he is the boyfriend these bitches can only dream of having. 

Armin literally tracks your period so that he can know exactly when to expect aunt flo. He’ll have movies, hot compresses, and snacks on standby. In fact he installed a shelf in the bedroom, chocked full of goodies and essentials you’re bound to need for that time of the month. You want a massage? Hot oils are on the lower left. You forgot to restock your pads, he’s got an emergency pack all the way to the bottom. Cramps are killing you? Middle right is where you’ll find a selection of pain meds to choose from depending on the level of aching you’re currently experiencing. He is the definition of prepared and is willing to wait on you hand and foot.

Floch - the complainer.

You have cramps and can't be touched? Suddenly you no longer love him. Sex is a no go for you at this time? Maybe he’ll just combust of blue balls instead. Cravings on an all time high? Well you ate his snacks too. The saying that men catch their pregnant wives' symptoms rings all the more true for Floch during your periods. He gets just as cranky, hungry, and even once complained of tender joints. Its safe to say you want to slap him most months.

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

Best and Worst of Both Worlds (part 20)

Tw: a bunch of profanities, nothing much in this chapter , short chapter tho

Vote below, i will only count the first 20 votes

Part 21

"You are so funny, (name)!" She laughed and playfully slapped you on the shoulder.

You laughed along and continued your conversation with her.

You finished all your classes for the day. You agreed to accompany her to the cafe because you have five grand in your bank account, courtesy by Yves and you can afford to treat her and yourself.

You didn't touch the food Montgomery gave you. Neither did Evangeline, because she too suffered from bad food poisoning when eating at that takeaway. It was thrown in the trash by her, it twisted your heart a little but you knew it wasn't edible.

Yves sent you a couple of texts asking you to call him when you're free along with pictures of what he found interesting. You muted him and chose to interact with your new friend instead.

In the end, the two of you shared the same opinion of Montgomery, that he may be creepy, but ultimately harmless. It's as if you completely had the memory of him punching Yves in the face erased.

It's nice. Someone around your age that shares the same humor and interests. Someone human unlike Yves and someone socially adept unlike Montgomery.

Good god, you can't believe you somehow considered Montgomery a friend.

"Hey (name)? I got this crazy idea."

You asked her what it was.

"Let's do a prank call on Montgomery." You gasped and said no way. But your tone betrayed you, it does sound like a fun joke. As long as the proper safety measures are taken.

"It will be the funniest thing ever. C'mon, here's the plan."

The both of you huddled together and discussed her nefarious ideas.

__

Her internet sleuthing skills are impressive, to say the least. All he needed was his phone number and his first name. You managed to find out he came from a family of farmers, 20 hours by car away from the city. Montgomery has been to more than 10 cities in the past decade, working various jobs and then quitting it to move onto the next place.

He once rented an apartment, but was evicted when he couldn't pay his rent on time. So you and Evangeline assumed he was living out of his car since then.

"Oh wow. You are proactive!" Giggled Evangeline when she saw you already saved his number under "Do not answer".

She is using your phone. Evangeline dialed Montgomery's personal number and pinched her nose to create an unrecognizable nasally voice. It was set to speaker mode.

After a few seconds of ringing, someone on the other end finally picked up.

"Hello?" It's undoubtedly him, coupled with the sounds of jackhammers rattling in the background.

"Heller, is this Mr Yeller? Montgomery Elizabeth Yeller?"

"Yeah, you got the right person. Who is this?"

"Yerr, this is Anita. Do you remember me, Mr Yeller?"

There was a pause.

"No, your name ain't ringing a bell. Anita who?" He finally replied.

Evangeline struggled to stifle her giggles. "Last name, Bath."

"Anita...Bath?" Montgomery was genuinely trying to remember someone in his life named that.

"Yeah you fucking do, stinky." You and Evangeline burst out cackling.

Eventually, Montgomery caught on and became upset.

"Ha ha. Very funny, you little shits. How the hell did you get my number?"

"Through Joe!"

You and her giggled. You pressed your palm against your lips.

"...(Name)?" His voice became soft and hopeful.

Suddenly it wasn't funny anymore. You signal her to cut it out, but she squeezed your shoulder.

"Joe Mama!" She laughed so hard that she had to cradle her side.

"Of fuckin' course." Montgomery's tone returned to being unfriendly. "Don't you fuckin' kids have homework to do? Instead of wastin' y'all's time and y'all's future botherin' strangers?" He snarked.

"No, because we are smart enough to get a scholarship to Ligma!" You heard him scoff from the other side.

"The hell is Ligma? Ya think I fuckin' care if-"

"Ligma balls!" You and Evangeline had tears running down the side of your faces from chortling so hard. "Y-you fell for it three times, Mr Yeller! What the fuck?" Evangeline added between laughs.

"...Stupid good for nothin' kids." He grumbled before hanging up.

Evangeline tried calling immediately after. To your surprise, he still answered.

"I ain't playing with y'all unless you're callin' in to apologize."

"StinkySayHuh."

"Huh?"

You and her let out the loudest scream of glee that he managed to take the bait. The remainder of the call was filled with mocking laughing from you two.

"Y'all can go straight to hell." He scolded before hanging up.

You found it so hilarious despite it being juvenile humor, your howling turned silent and your face became red. You couldn't breathe from guffawing too hard.

"Again, again!" She pressed the button call on his number.

It was declined. She pouted while you're still recovering from your giggles.

She tried calling him repeatedly, but all other attempts went to voicemail. His phone wouldn't receive any texts either.

"Aw, looks like he blocked you." Evangeline handed your phone back to you. Grinning, you thanked her profusely, this is exactly what you wanted.

"No, thank you for hanging out with me. This is the most fun I've had for months!" You laughed along and took another look at your phone.

You had that instinctive jerk upon seeing the time. Her smile dropped and changed to a confused expression.

"What's wrong?"

You were in the middle of packing until you realized you didn't have to take the bus. You apologized and explained yourself.

"Oh, that's totally fine. Hey, what do you say we hang out at the beach?"

You told her that Mr Jones is probably waiting for you.

"Daddy isn't just driving one person around all day. He's like an on-demand taxi! He's going to come to you only after a phone call."

You never knew that.

"Besides, you don't have a stuffy ol' Sir Yves to entertain. You're free! You get to go wherever you want to, whenever you want to." She gave you jazz hands to bring home her point.

"The sun is out, but it isn't that hot. We can dip our feet in the water to cool ourselves down."

You rubbed your chin. That does sound nice, and you don't want to reject your only friend. It's not like you have anything to do at the moment.

"But we're gonna need to take the bus though. I haven't had my driver's license yet." She added.

It takes an hour to ride the bus from the university to the beach. You're full from the junk you ate from the cafe, and you have enough money to buy whatever you want from the stalls.

You could always call Mr Jones up to drive you home from the beach.

However, you should probably go home and talk to Yves. You're barely answering his texts while he was excited to show you the attractions around his hotel.

"So, what do you say, (name)?" She asked with a hopeful smile.

You thought about it.

[dearparrishh]

here are the different possible byler endings, and why i don’t think (or do think) they will happen.

1 - mike accepts will after he comes out and moves on with his life

honestly, the fact that anyone thinks this will happen is the funniest thing ever. how can anyone think will is going to spill his feelings extremely openly (whether telling mike about his crush on him or not) and mike will just be like “oh, cool, thanks for telling me dude”. its the 80’s, may i remind you. i’m not saying everyone was homophobic back then, but it wasn’t seen as ‘normal’ to be gay, so the idea that they will just make mike have a very bland or ‘nice/kind’ reaction just isn’t it, not when mike and will have been best friends for years and regardless of whether you react well or not, it’s a big thing to learn about a person, especially considering how ‘unconventional’ it was in the 80’s. will being gay is a storyline that ESPECIALLY in s4 has been pushed to the extremities it can without explicitly stating ‘will is gay’, and for mike, will’s best friend AND will’s longtime crush to have a bland, kind of nice response, would be literally the shittest writing ever.

2 - mike doesn’t accept him

i think we all know this won’t happen. to throw away 4 seasons of best friendship between mike and will is such horrid writing, mainly because it’s just something that doesn’t have to happen. will has already gone through indescribable traumas, and currently believes that the one person, his best friend, who he has been in love with for years, will never love him back and has in fact come to accept this. to end his already heartbreaking arc by making the first and only person we know he has had any canonical romantic feelings for not only reject him but also not accept him, proceeding to make his arc end depressingly, is just such awful writing. also the simple fact that he has already accepted mike will never love him back already, before s5, raises the fact that unless mike does like will back, there’s not many other deep or exciting ways to end their arc, ending a whole 4 season long deep and complex relationship in either a bland or very awful way.

3 - mike accepts will while experiencing an inner turmoil

ambiguos byler ending is not it, not at all. again, no clever director would ever do this, I PROMISE. this just leads to so many questions, the main one being ‘why is mike experiencing this inner turmoil?’, because to anyone who doesn’t care that much (the ga), mike could accept will, no questions asked, with the kind of bullshit excuses of ‘they are best friends and he loves him (platonically)’ or he doesn’t accept him, and ‘it wasn’t typical or normal to be openly gay in the 80’s’, but, in all seriousness, regardless of how little i want those things to happen, (ESPECIALLY the latter) they have more depth and meaning than a ‘will he won’t he’ kind of ending. that would be horrendous writing, especially when said relationship has been built up for 4 seasons, and they couldn’t even end it with purpose or strength. that is never going to happen.

4 - byler endgame (mike accepts will AND himself)

try and tell me it wouldn’t be the incredible writing to have one closeted gay character and another closeted gay character, one with internalised homophobia and the other with acceptance that his crush will never like him back, happening to be best friends, and ending up together. not to mention, making mike anything other than gay with internalised homophobia would be throwing away a perfectly good character that could have had brilliant writing, because it would mean his whole thing from s3-4 would literally just be because he’s a bitch. not to mention it would be really awful writing because, it’s not like mikes character gets tremendously worse, he just, gets progressively more annoying and bland for 3 whole seasons? yeah, you can’t convince me that that is even the slightest bit likely. because mike was kind of all you could want in a character for s1-2. how come he literally just becomes a shit friend and an even shitter boyfriend for absolutely no reason whatsoever, simply to remove any of the great qualities he had in s1-2? like, that would just be so odd and weirdly written. not to mention the completely unnecessary fact of will having a crush on mike in the first place. like, it didn’t need to happen, and the idea that they will just make will even sadder than he already is due to everything he has faced over the past years by making the first and only person he has only every canonically romantically loved reject him and/or not accept him, consequently having his arc end awfully, would just be awful awful writing. and may i remind you of this scene, one that single handedly secures my hopes in byler endgame :

[oodlyenough]

aa5 update while i'm thinking of it:

finished 5-3 turnabout academy the other week and honestly i enjoyed the hell out of that entire case, lol. i thought the npcs were all funny (robin is the MVP), a lot of the reveals were hilarious, i am dual destinies klavier's #1 fan apparently.

assigned prosecutor at birth

the lore of Law High School was something i'd seen mentioned in fandom sometimes and i always rolled my eyes at how stupid it was but in true ace attorney fashion it was in fact SO stupid it came all the way around to being hilarious. themis pumping out under-educated self-described prodigies who only know how to eat hot chip, forge evidence and lie. funny as hell. junie and apollo's weird oedipal moment right in front of klavier and athena's salads was hysterical.

i love the idea that japanifornia has stricter age limits for being a crane operator than for being a lawyer or a judge. hugh the 25 year old deciding to go to themis instead of ... regular law school.... so he could experience the triumphs and defeats, the epic highs and lows of high school mock trials is funny as all hell

athena's ptsd sprites are pretty haunting looking, i have to say.

have since started 5-4 turnabout cosmos and so far it's not quite as bonkers fun but i'm enjoying it ok. more under the cut:

it feels like we're finally going somewhere and building to something, with athena lore and apollo lore and blackquill lore, etc. i remain ambivalent to simon but i am thrilled to have finally met his hotter meaner gayer sister and i can't wait for more of her. truly what dual destinies has lacked to this point is a mean woman. deliver me, aura.

unfortunately all the clay-apollo lore is goofy as hell to me, but "goofy" is still more enjoyable than "boring" so i'll take it. the "i'm fine!!!!" thing is IMO a classic example of when a prequel tries to explain something that never needed explaining. it's just not that poignant of a phrase to make the crux of this relationship, and clay never being mentioned before is so mels pond/Jack Black in that one episode of Community-core.

ah yes, we all remember that classic scene from ace attorney 4: apollo justice where apollo talks to his best friend clay.

finally: this is the funniest thing they could possibly have written to follow up on a game that ended with apollo's long lost mother knowing exactly who he and trucy are ...and fucking off out of the country to sell albums without ever telling him.

why do we bash deadbeat moms for not being there for their kids and never question if the child has bad vibes or is unpleasant to be around

a lot of my earlier complaints about DD stand -- primarily and foremost that it's ridiculous how much this game doesn't want to be a game. we are skipping so many opportunities to investigate, to present, to connect the dots ourselves as a player, even fingerprint minigames and stuff like that just get auto-completed by athena. i like athena as a character, but i have to wonder if part of the "mary sue" criticism i've sometimes seen is just misguided frustration about how much she autonomously solves puzzles for the player instead of letting the player participate lol.

but considering how much i really thought 5-2 monstrous turnabout was just. like. absolutely brutal. a devastating low point for the franchise ... at least 5-3 and, to this point, 5-4 are more interesting. thank god

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Thoughts after re-watching Taskmaster season 1:

- Romesh Ranganathan throwing the watermelon on the floor really was the funniest fucking thing that’s ever happened on TV. It really, really was. It was incredible. Not all the credit can go to Romesh, as it helps that it was well set up, contrasted against the previous more careful approaches. The editors get some credit. But Romesh gets most of the credit. Almost all of it. What an amazing thing to do.

It’s the lack of hesitation, I think. There were no cuts in the first bit of that segment. We see him go into the lab, see the watermelon for the first time, and not even break stride as he instantly walks across the room, picks up the watermelon, raises it over his head, and slams it onto the floor. Not stopping for one moment to consider whether this is the best idea. Every time I watch it, even four years after the first time, I can’t breathe for laughing.

- Romesh was very funny in general. I don’t actually know a huge amount about Romesh Ranganathan, except that he has so many TV shows he’s become other comedians’ shorthand for an extremely successful TV guy. I know he gets pitted against Rob Beckett at things in a show I haven't seen, and he was on that sports panel show that looked too horrible for me to touch even during the depths of my panel show phase, when I watched some pretty shit television. It’s not like Taskmaster is the only place I’ve seen Romesh; he’s turned up as an occasional guest on plenty of panel shows that I did watch. But he’s never made enough of an impression on me in other shows to stand out much in my mind. So I managed to forget that he really was a standout on Taskmaster, for how funny he was in nearly every situation. Obviously he played “livid comedian” very entertainingly, but he was also funny when grudgingly going along with things, when indignantly arguing, when visibly resigning himself to things (those might just be different ways to say “livid comedian”, but they are notably different variations that are each funny in their own ways).

- Tim Key and Romesh Ranganathan getting into physical fights in nearly every live task was amazingly funny. Why don’t people get into physical fights on Taskmaster live tasks anymore? It was the way they’d go looking for it. They didn’t just stumble over each other and go for it, they both went into each one planning to pick a fight. When they were blindfolded, they reached their arms out until they found each other so they could fight. That is commitment. There aren’t enough cage matches on panel shows.

- I also forgot how incredibly funny Roisin Conaty is. Unlike with Romesh, I haven’t forgotten about her in general or anything. I do think of Roisin as someone I really like as a guest on other people’s shows, I know she’s good value. But still, I forgot how amazingly good she was in a situation like Taskmaster that played to all her strengths. I think Roisin Conaty is very good at bouncing off other people and at blundering her way through things, and they just let her do that for six episodes straight. She made me laugh out loud so many times.

- That “high five a 55-year-old” task was amazingly funny. I understand why they wouldn’t do something like that again, not wanting to involve the public. There are very good reasons to not want to turn Taskmaster into some sort of prank show, the scourge of social media. Also, it would be harder to get away with such a thing now that Alex Horne is so much more famous than he was before season 1 of Taskmaster aired. If when I’m in London this summer, someone pulls me aside in a mall and asks my age, and the person who’s pulled me aside is Rhys James and I can see Alex Horne standing in the background, I’m going to have some idea of what’s going on.

However, for the one time they used it, it was fucking funny. Maybe the least “in character” I’ve ever seen Tim Key, as he suddenly dropped the mischievous personality when he had to actually do that shit in real life, walking toward people and then running away. Taskmaster is about genuinely upsetting comedians, and that was genuinely upsetting.

- I think Down An Octave is as close as you can get to a perfect episode of Taskmaster. Perfect balance of tasks – something open-ended where they could each come up with a creative way to solve a broad and simple problem (make the ice disappear), something convoluted where they had to find the exact specific way to get it right (score the most points in “squash”), and something that was just there to straight-up torture the comedians (fill the egg cup with tears). It featured a team task, which every great episode should have (the squash one). A nice open-ended prize task (most beautiful item). It had the first-ever task for only one person, with Josh counting the beans. And there was excellent banter in the studio throughout. No notes on that one.

- I’ve remembered Josh’s bean counting task, and re-watching that episode reminded me that it wasn’t just the beans, they made him do it three fucking times with three different foods. Josh was the perfect person to pick for that, too. Someone like Romesh just wouldn’t have done it. Frank would have half-assed it. Roisin would have blundered her way through it, which is usually funny, but in this case, it was Josh’s dedication to getting it right that made it funny. Tim would have found some way around it, which again is usually funny, but would have allowed him to defeat a task like this. This was funny because Josh was the one person who’d do it meticulously and properly.

- I know I’ve said this before, but a video of Daniel Kitson’s Tree has now been released, so we can all confirm that there was absolutely no reason why Tim Key’s character needed short fingernails for it. And he definitely wore shoes.

- They spent several seasons trying to recreate the magic of the first time they brought on Fred the Swede, and I think they came very close at times; a bunch of other Fred tasks have been very funny. But I don’t think any were quite as funny as the very first season. Watching Tim Key try so hard to make someone else blush that he accidentally just made himself blush instead. Roisin losing her mind and talking about back breasts. Romesh over-committing hard. Josh stuttering about the Emmanual films and Claudia Winkleman. You can’t beat it.

- I did notice overall, compared to more recent seasons, a lot more of contestants interacting directly with each other in the studio. I assume this is largely a consequence of the fact that most of them knew each other before the show. It was a smaller show then, Alex wasn’t drawing from all obscure corners of Britcom to find contestants. He was drawing from the pool of people he knew, so they tended to know each other too.

Romesh, Roisin, and Josh clearly all knew each other somewhat well (Romesh played a guest character in Josh Widdicombe’s sitcom at almost exactly the same time, who had about the same adversarial relationship with Josh’s character as the two of them had on Taskmaster, which I found quite funny when I watched that sitcom). And Roisin seems to be good friends with pretty much every comedian, as evidenced by her immediate rapport with any other comedian she gets paired with in any kind of show (often based on telling weird stories about her off-camera relationships with the other people on that episode). Tim Key was slightly more on the outside compared to the rest of them, but it shows how tight they all were that I’m calling the “outsider” of the studio banter the guy who was physically fighting Romesh in every live task. And of course there were Tim’s links to Alex and Roisin’s links to Greg.

(And everyone knows about Frank Skinner so I guess he was in there too. I don’t like Frank Skinner but I think I’ve already mentioned that fact, and why, too many times lately, so I’m trying to just ignore him in this post, rather than getting into all that again. The fact is that I can’t look at him without thinking of how many people I’ve known in real life who’ve been like him, and how awful they were, so even if it was 30 years ago and objectively no longer that big a deal, I subjectively can't get past it. I have no idea whether he’s objectively funny because I can’t enjoy him.)

They were just all all over each other, all the time. There were nearly as many interactions among the contestants as there were between the contestants and Greg or Alex. They were all commenting on each other’s choices, sometimes supportive but usually not. In more recent seasons, we can name specific arguments among contestants (ie. Bananagate from season 15), because they happen a few times a season. In season 1, you can hardly separate them out because they were after nearly every task (though a few do stand out, Pie Breachgate and Boxgate).

I do think the editors might be, for reasons I cannot fathom, screwing us over a bit on that in the most recent season. Sophie Willan mentioned, in the latest podcast episode, that there were a lot of arguments in the studio between John Robins and Steve Pemberton. Nick Mohammed said something very similar in his podcast episode, that he remembered sitting there quietly while sparks went off between those two. But we don't really see that in the edit. And I’ve spoken to someone who was in the studio audience for the one of the season 17 recordings, who told me about a couple of specific arguments between John and Steve in the studio (in both cases, John picking fights with Steve about stuff Steve did during the tasks, but Steve happily engaging). I was looking forward to seeing those arguments when that episode aired, but they were cut, and disappointingly, didn’t even appear in the outtakes. Why are the editors denying us studio friction? It was so funny in season 1!

It may have helped in season 1 that they were physically close together, in the smaller studio. Maybe they need to bring the smaller studio back. It’s easier to pick fights when you’re nearly sitting on top of each other. Made it feel more like a communal thing with all five of them sort of facing each other, rather than them all just going back and forth with Greg and Alex.

- This might tie in a bit to the previous point, but among other weird format things in season 1 (Greg doing little intros for each contestant, summaries of what we learned, much stingier with the points) was more cuts to reactions during the films of task attempts. Often shots of the contestant whose attempt is being shown, but also plenty of shots of other contestants looking shocked at what they’re doing. I’m not normally a fan of “reaction shots” in TV shows (they’re the absolute bane of stand-up specials), but I think they worked in this case, reminding us that they’re all a part of this.

- Overall, I greatly enjoyed that re-watch. There is a reason why I watched this season of Taskmaster and then decided I didn't want to watch anything else except these people and other things like this ever again. And that reason was not just Romesh throwing a watermelon on the floor. But a lot of it was Romesh throwing a watermelon on the floor.

[softstraykidshours]

stray kids fic-mas: day 12

pairing: ot8 stray kids x gn!reader

genre: fluff, headcanon

summary: watching christmas movies with stray kids

length: 750

warnings: slight food mention, christmas mention, low key hallmark movie slander i am so sorry

a/n: this piece was requested by a lovely anon. watching christmas movies with skz sounds so so so so so so so fun, it would be a blast! thanks for cute idea, anon! we hope you enjoy!

ficmas 2022 masterlist

chan

he is just so happy that he gets to spend time with you that he’ll watch whatever you want. any time spent with you is time well spent, so he couldn’t care less what’s on the screen. he’s spending literally the entire time cuddling you while wrapped in the coziest, fuzzy blanket he can find. you spend half the movie saying he’s smothering you, but that's your problem because if you didn’t want to be suffocated by his love, then you shouldn’t have suggested watching a festive movie with your lovey dovey boyfriend.

minho

he has very strong opinions on whatever holiday movie you suggest and will probably argue about why literally any movie you bring up isn’t as good as elf. it is the best movie in his opinion and he will fight anyone (hyunjin) who disagrees. the only exception to this rule is if you say that nightmare before christmas is your favorite movie, in which case he will give you a pass (but you will still be forced to watch elf with him). every year he has an elf watch party with soonie, doongie, and dori and it takes years of fighting (and a bribe to bring elf hats for the cats) before he allows you to join.

changbin

he is a big fan of old timey christmas movies. but specifically the cartoon ones. he loves frosty the snowman and rudolph so so much. he literally has the entire soundtrack for both memorized and will be singing them nonstop for the entirety of the holiday season. he thinks a charlie brown christmas is the funniest movie ever because of the way the teacher talks. he also has a secret soft spot for nightmare before christmas (but don’t let minho know because it’s changbin’s guilty pleasure).

hyunjin

he refuses to watch anything but the classics. he’s exclusively watching films like holiday inn, miracle on 34th st, it’s a wonderful life, white christmas, etc. basically if it was made in this century, he doesn’t even acknowledge it as a movie, much less one that he would watch. it could literally be a holiday cinematic masterpiece, but if it doesn’t fall under the umbrella of what hyunjin considers to be a classic, then he won’t even consider watching it. (when hyunjin catches you watching hallmarks with felix it low key causes a fight.)

jisung

he absolutely loves the santa clause movies, but he basically only watches santa clause 3 because it’s the worst but he thinks its the best. no matter how many times you ask to watch something else, he always goes on and on about the santa clause until you eventually concede and watch some part (if not the entirety) of the trilogy. the best part of the holiday season this year for him was when he heard about the new disney+ santa clause show.

felix

he’s watching hallmark movies basically every single day of the holiday season. for some reason (that you will never understand), he somehow actually enjoys them and finds entertainment value in their cinematic choices. no matter how many times they repeat the same story with the same exact actors, he is always so endeared. even when you try to make fun of them, he always ends up finding a way to turn your insults into compliments. you still watch them with him, though, because you love how much he loves them.

seungmin

just like felix, he is also watching almost exclusively hallmark movies during the holidays. but not because he thinks they are good. it’s for quite the opposite reason. he loves making fun of every last little thing about the movies. like "wait, i thought this woman was a business woman not a starving artist?" or "when is the town christmas festival gonna go into ruin?" or "how will the marginally (not) attractive leads fix it?". you’ve never had more fun in your life than when you’re making fun of hallmark movies with seungmin.

jeongin

he loves absolutely everything about the holiday season, so when you mention movies, he is so down. he has already watched and will re-watch basically every christmas movie ever made. it is a whole event for him. he will have cocoa and cookies and themed snacks ready in less than fifteen minutes if you mention you want to watch movies with him. you will also never watch just one. the second the first one finishes, he already has a recommendation of what you should watch next.

[iron-sparrow]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! get to know your mutuals and followers (ू•‧̫•ू⑅)♡

In no particular order!

LIFTING BIG WEIGHTS. It is a mental and physical struggle I absolutely enjoy, and very few things on this green(ish) earth can give me the same high lifting does. My current highest number is 253 lbs/115 kg for 2 on sumos. The other day I did 227/103 for 3 without pausing. Also, depressed queer lifters are some of the best people you could know!

I freaking love anatomy. Sorta ties into why I'm so into lifting weights + watching others lift. I am obsessed. We all joke about our shitty our meaty flesh suits are, but have you ever just sat and thought about how intricate they are and how long it took nature to evolve us into such efficient sweating endurance machines despite our other shortcomings? I mean, I hate running (flat feet suck), but the IDEA of how long we can hypothetically go for because of how our bodies work mechanically is mind-blowing. And have you seen how an Olympic lifter utilizes momentum and balance with their incredible strength to lift as much as they do off the ground and above their heads? The breakdown of every single limb's motion and muscle movement is SO beautiful that I can't even... WHEEZE...

I don't consider myself a writer, but I really love writing more than drawing sometimes -- no offense to my art degree that definitely wasn't a waste of time or anything. Something about processing images through words just hits different. A freight train slowly crawl by on the tracks versus a bullet train zipping across its rails; a horse breaking into full sprint; bird beating its wings against the air in very specific patterns; houseplant slowly changing directions as it seeks light. My heart feels so heavy that it's threatening to slip from my ribs down into my stomach in search of an escape from the pressure building inside my skin; I think if it burst, I would see it turn my breath into the same abyssal blue we perceive the ocean to be.

I guess music is another sure way to feel anything, including "happy." Some friends of mine talk about stimming with specific types of music, and I think back to how often I find myself unable to function at all without something playing in my ears. I'm actually prone to sensory overload (high ceilings WHY), so I will always carry around headphones or earbuds with me to help! And really, I'm content to listen to the same tune on repeat for 12-14 hours to stabilize my mood. This fucks with my Spotify statistics in the funniest way. Plus, people are more likely to leave you the fuck alone when you got headphones on, and I like being left alone. (Social misanthropes, rise up.)

My friends make me happy, and I am incredibly blessed to have friends that love me. When they can't support me directly, they walk alongside me so that I can still see their shapes while I traverse the fog. They ask me how I'm doing when I change medications. They tell me my muscles look nice after I've finished a gym session. They watch my OCs turning on the hot dog warmer with me. Some nights, when I'm struggling, I remind myself that I'll be able to talk to them again when I wake up. ♡

[eldritch-spouse]

All this talk of parenthood and babies on here recently made me want to revisit some of the old asks about the staff's parenthood shenanigans but I saw a few of them were gone. Namely the single parent s/o asks. Or maybe I just can't find them because Tumblr's search isn't the best :|.

If they are gone could we see single parent s/o dynamics with Morrell, Nebul, and Gallon (I think those were the people in the ask I don't remember)? I'm a whore for domesticated fluff 🥺

[It's very probable that those are gone anon. Not because I like deleting content willy-nilly, but rather the person who sent those asks had blatantly disrespected one of the few rules I impose here, and as such, I scrubbed them off the blog entirely. I usually keep backups of some of these deleted asks, but not always. I can't find the single-parent one, so I'll just remake it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯]

Morell's a family man. You already got a kiddo? Well that just saves him the trouble of having to work for one! Of course, there'll be more in the future, he assures you, but this saves you both some time. You already know what it's like to parent after all! Morell is super excited to meet the little one, and for such a big scary guy, he's good at making himself seem smaller and offering treats as greeting presents. The shroom has younger cousins who he entertains often with small wood carvings and dad jokes, so chances are this horribly dangerous cannibal will get on your kid's good side way too easily. Morell will hype ideas like camping trips to your kid and then pretend he doesn't have anything to do with it when your child begs to go camping with you and daddy. You can see the glint of victory on the shroom's eyes as soon as that word exits their mouth. Jackpot Piglet. Just wait until they meet the bobbles, the little one won't ever want to say goodbye!

Gallon doesn't really think of himself as prime father material, but he starts warming up to the idea when he realizes your kid is a piece of you, they were made by you, therefore, if he's to ever parent anyone, it should be the child of his cherry. The slime is good at making silly shapes, contorting or otherwise weaving his tendrils in patterns that might amuse the kiddo. What's more, the slime can definitely make kid-friendly drinks, so he can still show off and impress the two of you without having to risk your child wanting to get drunk. He's naturally playful and witty, being a barman means he's heard some of the funniest jokes around and also has some wild (appropriate) stories to tell- He's bound to keep your kid as engrossed in his tales as you. Unfortunately, Gallon does get anxious at times, having to set breaks aside so he can read on parenting. After all, he needs to know what he's doing! Otherwise, you won't even consider him as the great partner he knows he can be. And that won't do. The first time he's called dad or daddy, Gallon is so happy that all his tendrils curl in glee, probably making your kid burst out laughing while you sweat in anxiety.

//-//-//

[I did find a backup of a single-parent ask with Nebul.]

Hey, you didn't forget what I said in that ask, did you? "Looking forward to it, but not exactly dad material".

Nebul looks forward to being a dad in the same way a wildlife biologist looks forward to the opportunity to study a brand new animal. He's not interested in it from a genuine, wholesome desire to start a family, this is just another opportunity to learn. And, well, find out how he can manipulate you more easily by having this child (or children) take a liking to him.

Now of course, this apathetic, disturbing thought process is only the initial stage of his journey into impromptu fatherhood, and even if Nebul can be a very detached monster man, he's likely to come to love your kid like a dad would. Why? Well, quite simply, it's a mini you. It's you, but lite. And Nebul loves you, even if he's not the most "just" of partners, so even if he loves animals more than humans, it's really only a matter of time until he's decided that he'll be the best dad there is.

The ability to sense and influence emotions comes in handy with a baby and toddler, for sure, but it's not something he can rely on forever. Nebul knows the baby is upset, but not always how to fix it. Forcibly altering emotions doesn't mean he solved the problem, so there's still a learning curve. He's prone to talking to the kid as if they were an adult at times, using terms they likely won't understand, or telling them truths of life that kids honestly don't need to know (this mf will just straight up be a killjoy abut Santa).

On the plus side, you're dead on about the head mist thing, he's going to make a lot of silly shapes just to get them to laugh, and he'll even tolerate superficial touches to the more solid "orb" part of it. Oh, and guess who that kiddo's gonna have to deal with? Purpur. Purpur loves babies. So much. He's going to be the most hyper oddball pet ever! Your kid will always be entertained. Expect the two to get up to shenanigans. On the fluffy side, I can see Nebul taking you and the kid out to learn about animals and so on. He'd love to nurture some sort of interest for wildlife in the little bugger.

[stormblessed95]

Hi, I love your blog. You and I have very similar opinions. Except my favorite duos are : 1. Minimoni, 2. Yoonmin. I mean apart from the obvious support of Jikook:)

My question is this: do you know if anything special happened in 2017 that Namjoon gifted that fancy ring to Jimin. I wasn't part of the fandom back then, I know you weren't too, but you maybe seen some content that I haven't.

I mean it was a big enough deal that he told the other members about it. So even he considered it out of the norm. I was just wondering if maybe Jimin did something for RM or gifted him something big that he had to reciprocate. I understand that we will never really know, but maybe with your knowledge of BTS's content you have an idea? Because 2017 seems to be a "give Jimin a big gift" kind of year ( Namjoon, JK).

So what are your thoughts about it?

And thanks in advance!

Hi!! Thank you for all your kind words. Minimoni for you 🥰

I don't think anything specifically big happened or was mentioned to/about Jimin in 2017. I just think Jimin and Joon are best fucking friends. Lol they connect so well and Joon leans on Jimin a lot at times, and vice versa. Jimin also got lots of fancy and expensive gifts in 2016 from various members too (the big ones mentioned specifically that year being YG and Tae!) I think that maybe Joon just thought it would be a really good gift for him. I don't want to get into it TOO much because it's all just.... speculation and rabbit hole spiraling.... lol but he either 1) saw it and thought Jimin would love it, 2) Jimin mentioned an express interest and wanting it and Joon said "fuck it, imma get it for him, he deserves it" or 3) my jikook heart is relating it to jikookery and Joon participating when the other 2 options are MUCH more likely. But I am curious. Because this was a present, on Jimins birthday, in 2017. You can read my post over this gift here

BUT Jimin was seen wearing a Cartier nail ring in 2016 at the airport! With all his other own personal clothing and style etc. So one can assume that it was HIS personal ring. It is rumored it was a gift given to him at a fan meeting. A ring that he wore in 2016 before Joon gifted him a similar one, but this time with his initials engraved in it. A ring that in 2016, Jimin then gave to Jungkook. And I don't think we ever saw again 🤣 so either Jimin gifted his to JK and he has kept it, but it's not in frequent rotation for Jungkook. Or Jimin let JK borrow his ring, and then JK lost it. Lol for which Jimin might have expressed disappointment at no longer owning this ring. The 2016 Cartier Nail ring and Jimin giving it to JK. The funniest part being Jimin's manager behind him reaching his hand out thinking Jimin just didn't want to wear it anymore. Nope, he was just giving it to JK...

And then just continuing to wear it through the airport.... this was 160804 btw

And we see him still wearing it on the airplane too, where Jikook sit together and Jimin posts a short video of them saying goodbye

Jimin wearing it earlier here too btw

So I don't think Joon would drop so much money on a duplicate ring. Maybe it's an upgraded verison? Maybe it's just a ring Jimin loved a lot and it got lost so Joon replaced it with an upgraded engraved verison. Maybe he gifted that one to JK and he kept it and now Jikook have another set of matching rings because Joon got Jimin another one....

REGARDLESS lol The Jikook ring exchange is cute AF and random too. Namjoons gift is beyond precious but idk what facilitated him wanting to gift him such a pricey and fancy ring and drop that much cash on it! Clearly, he loves Jimin ALOT and it's very sweet. Jimin is SO spoiled honestly. Lol who can give Jimin the best present in 2017? A namkook competition! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Honestly. I'm no thoughts only vibes over here. 🤣 sorry! It is something I'd love to know though. Jimin, do you have two rings now?? What is happening with these nail rings?? Speak into the mic!! Probably not the answer you were expecting here 😅

[soyouareandrewdobson]

Some late Halloween recommendation

(Seizure Warning)

Happy happy Halloween,

Halloween,

Halloween,

happy, happy Halloween,

fuck you Dobson!

Well, haven't talked for a long time, haven't I?

Things got busy again the last couple of weeks and with the sort of posts I am working on being rather long + spending my off time from work on other things than somethin Dobson related, I couldn't bring much to the table.

That said, next month something really big is in the making, starting from November 2th. Other than that, I kinda thought I want to do something small, non Dobson related for the holiday..

So in case some of you are looking for some Halloween related fun to spend the next 24 hours with, I thought I recommend some minor movies and other horror related things you may hopefully enjoy.

So let's start

Creepshow (1982) & Crepshow 2

I am a huge fan of horror anthology movies and Tales form the Crypt like stories (comics and tv show), so when I heard that Stephen King wrote a script for a comic like horror movie in the 80s, directed by George Romero, I was kinda hooked up.

Creepshow is something of a hidden gem people are becoming more aware of nowadays thanks to the internet, popculture and the fact, that on Shudder there has been a tv series based on the concept, that currently runs for 4 seasons. And while the quality of some episodes is varying, it is a lot of fun to watch. Particularly the one episode that is literally Bob Ross fighting the Deadites from Evil Dead.

As for the movie that started it all, separated in five little stories, the movie has something from everyone. From a multibillionaire finding himself attacked by cockroaches in his apartment, a zombie wanting cake for father's day, to a henpecked husband exploiting a weird monster to deal with his bickering tramp of a wife. I know the movie was once on completely for free to watch on youtube, but unfortunately I couldn't find it for this entry as quickly. That said, have the still good, though moref flawed sequel here

The Night of the living dull

still one of the funniest jabs at really awful fans, related to my favorite cartoon from the 90s. If you can find more of the Nightmare Ghoulery online, I highly recommend it.

It is still better animated and way funnier than the actual Tiny Toon reboot we got last month. As evident by that opening alone

Franken Fran

Imagine if Frankenstein created a slightly cute teenaged girl who is a masterful surgeon and biologist/genetic engineer, who tries to help other people with her operations. Only for things to go ever so slightly wrong for the people involved in it. Partly because Fran doesn't care for either good or evil, just science, partly because they kinda deserve their ironic fate.

For friends of horror anthology stories and people who want to laugh at Kamen Rider in a certain way, for free to read here

This

considering I am on tumblr, I don't think I have to introduce you to Helluva Boss. So let me just more or less out myself as a fan of it too. I may think it is in part flawed (the people behind it certainly love to overindulge themselves in musical numbers and gay fluff, while I just wished there was a bit more cartoonish killing), but I have quite a bit of respect for the quality of the animation and some of the ideas going into it. Plus, related to the linked episode itself, "2 Minutes Notice" really slaps and it is obvious, that Alex Brightman has a lot of fun here. So alone for that I recommend you watch the episode.

Deadstream

Imagine Evil Dead 2 mixed with your average youtube douchebag prankster getting his comeuppances. One of the best movies I watched last year, Deadstream is about Shawn, a failed youtuber trying to restart his career by spending a night in a haunted house. Only problem, not only is Shawn something of a slightly dumb piss ant who recognizes red flags way too late, the house really is haunted and the ghosts are certainly not friendly or in need of help at all. While "low budget" by certain standards, the movie has some really great practical effects and decent scares, but also some really great black comedy and slapstick mixed in, without ever really going into full on Scary Movie cartoon-esque antics. Also one of the few movies, where the concept of "livestreaming" is actually utilized extremely intelligently for the sake of the movie's style. As far as I know it is watchable on Shudder, so please. go see it

Negaduck

He is the terror, that schemes at the night.

to wrap this post up, a little still ongoing thing in the world of cartoon related comics. Currently published by Dynamite Entertainment in colaboration with Disney, Negaduck is a tie in series to the current Darkwing Duck comics, focused on one of Darkwing's most popular villains. His personal archrival (and I think multiversal evil counterpart, to me they were always a bit vague with that in my opinion) Negaduck. surprisingly well drawn, this comic manages to capture the cartoonishness of the cartoon in vibrant colors and makes Negaduck a lot of fun, when he tries to come up with an ultimate scheme and in his quest ends up going on a treasure hunt for King Midas' gauntled. You can read the first two issues of more hopefully to come here.

Now with that said, I am off to a party with friends and playing some Luigis Mansion 3. HAPPY HALLOWEEN AND HAVE SOME CANDY

[energywarning]

Disorganized thoughts regarding splat3 story mode+ my agents. Perhaps not the best thoughts ever but heyyy *disclaimer i do not take some events too seriously i like comedy . And on the other i extrapolate on silly things tldr im sillay babey sorry for cringe rocking*

-The power eggs that callie gives harper are from either looking around like a dummy or entering some of the kettles and farming eggs on easy missions *orca voice* you are not an authoriz- "ah fuck off robot thing" it works out... somehow

-It was kinda easy to lose track of time because the artificial walls always were sunny so like. 1 week in and harper was p much convinced they were in here for a year somehow

-Ripley kinds of considers "captain" to be a pity title at some point cus thats when ppl started to be big on the idea of having ripley chill the fuck out and like . Do less work Lol. The reasons why theyre Sitting there the whole time almost is bc they were also technically meant to recover from an injury (so the captain cant talk bc theyre shy thing is like a quarter of a lie thing bc yeah they are a little and they mumble often but rn theyre straight up just exhausted Lol) but ultimately callie and marie are like eh Fuck it. we ball cmon captain do your thing re: building that machine thing+ fuzzy stuff elimination LOL . And then they get injured again oops.

- At the beginning of story mode ... harper is like: hey uh. How do we get out of here by the way... since we fell? From above?

No one answers them..

- After the Ending of storymode harper is very clear about 3 things :

1. hey callie hey marie i kind of feel scammed by your grandpa. Like i should be paid a little right. Like at least a little bit.

2. Madam captain person being. Sorry i dont know your name yet- oh its ripley. Ok ripley you are cool thank you for being nice to me while we were down there 👍.

Yes i know that splat3dlc is going to contradict these but for now in my brain this is the funniest thing ever so it is so for now have this:

3. Unless there is a another world ending scenario im not doing any agent work ever again sorry. Or at least for a long long time(is trying to be nice about rejecting the whole agent thing)

-last discussion eight had w ripley b4 splat3 story mode kind of went smth like : callie saying that gramps is looking for another agent... captain isnt going to do much duh injury and all. Well geez what do you mean you're coming with us anyway dont you girls have a life hold on lemme call ripley theyll tell you all abt it.

Ripley: hi darling, hi Alex. No sorry you both are fired actually for now :^) no yeah i know im not actually the one who can fire people i was joking- no i know- ok ok i get it geez. well either way you cant come with us sorry you both are meant to patrol other places so. ok will be back soon in less than a week probably promise

-I also like to think that they were in alterna for like a month and a half or so... but it felt like much longer re: losing track of time

-harper got all the alterna logs etc but they literally dont give a shit about them and forgot the 3/4 of them

-Post story mode Harper kinds of hate/is scared by deepcut ever since the whole attacking them thing but they are very funny about it cus they hide behind ripley when they see any of em sillay individuals but harper is like so much taller than ripley so its like

-Ripley is kind of harper s honorary uncle

-Harper had an awful roommate situation and ultimately they end up. Living w the rest of the agents (they say its only temporary...)

-callie is harper s favorite squid sister