#he also had autism eyes because I’m projecting

[xxkai-the-fryxx]

Random headcannons of The Outsiders:

Curtis Family

•Mrs. Curtis’ name is Jane.

•German descent.

•Ponyboy is the only one that actually learned German and still speaks it.

•The reason Ponyboy looks different compared to his brothers and parents is because of recessive genes from his Grandma on his mother’s side specifically.

•Darryl Curtis Sr was never really in contact with his parents after Soda was born, because he was raised with high standards that he didn’t reach. He didn’t want to raise his children like that although he did do it accidentally to Darry, which is why Darry also puts pressure on Ponyboy after the Curtis parents died.

•Darryl Sr had a drinking problem that both he and Jane hid from the kids. The only drinking they saw from their father was on special occasions. It was only on their parents funeral where they realized that their parents died due to drinking and driving. Both sides of the family knew except for the Curtis brothers.

•Jane grew up in a strictly religious family and her side of the family might’ve given Ponyboy religious trauma. He was the only one that payed attention. Darry was old enough to just say that he didn’t want to and Soda was too distracted to pay attention.

Darryl Curtis Jr

•Overworks himself

•Bi-curious

•He/Him

•Often hides his emotions when it comes to certain situations.

•He only felt like he had to stay strong for his brothers at their parents funeral. When he thought Ponyboy was dead, he just broke and felt terrible. He didn’t even regret crying when he saw Ponyboy at the hospital.

•He is dating Two-Bit and Tim Shepard because yes.

•Doesn’t really enjoy the idea of gangs but will participate anyway.

Sodapop Curtis

•ADHD and Dyslexia

•He/They (Transgender male)

•Pansexual

•Wears his heart in his sleeve unlike most of the gang (canon)

•Often stayed up late at nights wondering what was wrong with him because he felt so stupid unlike his little brother who was basically a child prodigy in his eyes.

•Clingy towards Ponyboy, especially after Windrixville.

•He doesn’t really show it but he can be VERY protective over Ponyboy. One time a Soc came into the DX and started badmouthing Ponyboy and Steve had to hold Soda back from beating the Soc’s face in so that they wouldn’t get fired.

•Dating Steve Randle fr fr

Ponyboy Curtis (Warning: This is just pure projection. And there will be mentions of Self-harm, suicide, trauma, SA, and sensory overloads.)

•Autism, Depression, and PTSD (Diagnosed when he was about 19)

•He/Him (Transgender male)

•Gay

•It really depends on what mood Ponyboy is in if he wants to express his emotions or not.

•Definitely self-harmed and was suicidal after Windrixville. The only reason he didn’t out that in his theme was because he didn’t want Mr. Syme to tell Darry or Soda.

•A couple months before The Outsiders took place, Ponyboy was asked to see a teacher alone in his classroom. I’m not gonna go into detail but let’s just say that Ponyboy didn’t tell anyone because he was scared. (This is just pure projection, I’m so sorry)

•Whenever Ponyboy gets Overstimulated or goes into a Sensory Overload, he starts scratching or hitting himself. He also has difficulty breathing at times due to the sound amplifying, the lights being too bright, or just his skin not feeling comfortable to him.

•Books, Movies, and music are the ways Ponyboy calms down. The genre of books/movies he often enjoys are Dramas, Coming-of-age, and even Romance.

•After Johnny and Dally died, Ponyboy wore their jackets and Dally’s necklace. He never forgot a jacket again.

•When he was older and told the gang about his diagnoses, they all finally realized why Ponyboy was so different. It all made sense now.

•Does like Rock music but got tired of The Rolling Stones since it was so overplayed while he was growing up.

•He even made some music, himself when he was older.

•He wanted a career in the Entertainment Industry and was actually able to.

•Jobs he did in Entertainment: Screenwriting, Acting, Production, Wrote actual books, and even did modeling for a bit.

•Whenever he came back home, he always had gifts for the gang.

•He’s had to stay closeted for years due to the area he grew up in.

•Ponyboy has quite a few scars on his face but A LOT on his body.

•He stims in multiple ways. But he often hand flaps, jumps, runs, humming, or even squealing. Others would often call him a pansy whenever he stimmed in public.

•Ponyboy never really tried in English. It was definitely his strong suit.

•Similar to Soda, Ponyboy would often stay up at night, wondering what was wrong with him before his diagnoses. He almost felt cursed with knowledge.

•He often spent sleepless nights doing nothing but reading or studying for school.

•He got a Scholarship to New York University.

•Dating Johnny Cade and Curly Shepard.

I will do the rest of the Gang, I just got really tireddd.

[bobbybutterfly]

SO @32girassoisdevangogh! REMEMBER WHEN YOU TOLD ME YOU WANTED MY DESIGNS TO BE MARKETABLE PLUSHIES?!

Well. These are not exactly plushies but…

Tada! I can’t believe I actually managed to “finish” them in time. We’re leaving for England on Monday so it was a race to have them somewhat finished. I made Bamsaegi first. Originally the plan was to make these “dolls” completely out of cotton, loads of glue, some pipe cleaners and sting. It did not go as planned. First up instead of cotton I ended up buying wool because I figured it’s close enough.

It was just SOOO MESSY and wouldn’t keep its shape no matter what. My mom saw it wasn’t working and asked me why I didn’t get proper cotton from the drug store. I only went looking in arts and crafts because I thought what they would have in the drug store would be pressed into round shapes. You know. Those things you use to remove your make up. The next day mom took me to the drug store and turns out they had exactly what I wanted.

Finally. I could get properly started. Except no! It was a horrible material to work with! The cotton constantly kept sticking to my paintbrush I used to apply the glue. Additionally the cotton kept picking up all kinds of dirt. At times turning black. Would not recommend. I don’t know how the YouTuber I watched made it look so easy.

I was at the end of my patience. If I want to make 3D stuff I would have to go and use DUN DUN DUN polymer clay. Or regular clay. JUST NO. I hate the feeling of clay stuck to my hands. Autism? What are you doing here?! I had to figure something else out. I didn’t feel like learning to sow. So. This thing with cotton and glue reminds me of something else. Papier Mache!

I actually used to think that this cotton mess would be better. I thought that papier mache takes an enormous amount of paper. Probably because the one time I did it prior to this project was in art school as a kid with a neurotic teacher. So. Where was I going to find the paper I would need?

There’s this saying in Slovakia that we’re one hundred years behind monkeys (joke about evolution meaning we’re behind the rest of the world). I didn’t even need to leave the house to get what I needed. The mail box was full to brim with catalogs. Plus there were recently the EU elections. Which meant a large news paper looking thing with all the parties written out on it. Perfect!

So that’s how Bamsaegi came to be. I first made a skeleton out of pipe cleaners. Covered that with crumpled paper. I found it kind of ironic that I’m making a character from a communist propaganda cartoon out of a bunch of advertisements. Additionally papier mache would be something you couldn’t do in North Korea. From the book I read paper there is rare and kept a close eye on. For obvious reasons of course. If I would ever have a serious gallery exhibition of these dolls/sculptures I think I would expand on that.

As you can see I ended up covering him in cotton. I wanted the texture and also it smoothed out the bumps. This was before I learned that if you want it smooth you got to cover it in a bunch of small pieces of paper. I first covered the base with glue. Then took a thin bunch of cotton. To smooth it out and to make it stick better I would run the paint brush across it in the direction of the fibbers. Lastly I painted it with watered down acrylic colours after it dried. I was surprised at how painting it went so smooth. Very satisfying.

I decided to first do a more show accurate character. I thought the stylised proportions would be easier. Obviously he’s not perfect. With the colours and the off proportions he’s looking very retro. Like the 70s and 80s communist era toys I saw in an antique shop. I like to think that if they made official toys back then they would look like this.

Onto Geumseagi. He started off as a Disney Prince Eric from Little Mermaid doll by Mattel. So the size of your average Ken. I sadly don’t have the original doll photo. He cost 14 euros (technically 13,99). I thought I would cut him out of the papier mache and use him as base for other dolls. He’s still buried in Geumseagi today. I didn’t want to risk cutting him out of there. And I like the added weight. Those stupid boots were a terror so I don’t think I would want to deal with them when making a new project.

So the head. Originally I wanted to mould it out of clay. But once I realized that I wouldn’t be cutting him off the doll I decided to use the original one. The clay one would be too heavy and hard to keep on the neck. As you can see I chopped off his nose, chin and let’s say gave him a rather brutal hair cut. Knowing what I know now I would have cut off even more of the hair. From my drawings I know big foreheads on squirrels do not look good.

And there we have it. Geumseagi in my style. In 3D. There are 2 tiny spots on the legs where the original doll pokes throught. The pants were rushed not gonna lie. I like that it’s a bit wrinkly. It reminds me of my paintings with the different thicknesses of paint. Making something 3D that looks like my paintings is something I wanted to achieve for a while. I’m glad I don’t have to learn how to use Blender. Unfortunately it does mean I can’t use the dry brush technique because it emphasises those crevices. For shading I then have to go manually where I want it. Like under the chin and around the pockets.

I’m excited to see what ya’ll will think. Sad that I discovered this just when I’m leaving. Grandma probably won’t want ripped up news paper and glue all over her kitchen.

PS. I’m adding his tail when I return. Too much work.

[saltandfire-blog]

Lucerys Velaryon x Aemond Targaryen

Salt and Fire

Summary: Lucerys Velaryon belongs to both sea and sky. His whole life he has tried to prove his blood runs thick with not just fire but salt, despite the scandalous accusations that have haunted him and his brothers. Aemond Targaryen is nothing but fire, and before their families tore them asunder, his nephew was one of the few people he did not scorch. History books would have you believe the green and black children of House Targaryen grew up enemies, but before eyes and loyalties were slashed, there was once devotion between the two second sons. As boys grow into men, it is easier to repay an injury, because forgiveness is a burden and revenge a pleasure.

When you fall in love, you will carve out your heart and throw it into the deepest ocean. You will be all in - blood and salt.

Notes: I'm super excited to be introducing this idea of mine and I hope you'll enjoy the ride. This story will mostly be from Lucerys' POV but I felt I needed to introduce it from Aemond first. Since reading Fire and Blood, I had thought Aemond sounded like a cool villain in the whole civil war, and then the show runners were just so brilliant fleshing him out into a real character I couldn’t help but write my own take on it. I’m so into Lucerys’ story, but I’m just as much in love with humanizing the angry young man we meet in the show who was bullied and disregarded as a child. I'd like to also add, Lucerys' developmental delays Aemond helps him with is from my own experiences. So I'd like to dedicate this chapter to my sons. My son has autism, so my family went through much of the same experience, and his brother was also very involved and interested in helping to get his brother to talk. However in this fic, Lucerys does not have autism but a developmental delay a lot of children commonly grow out of. It is M/M eventually folks, so if you're looking for fast smut, although i love em myself, this is not the fic for you I'm afraid. Please leave comments and constructive critism is welcomed!

Chapter One:

not the type to give yourself enough love.

[ace-in-the-author]

Never Nothing To Talk About!

Reader lowkey-highkey hates couples mb

As with all my writing, the reader is somewhere on the spectrum, both the aroace and autism spectrum. Allistics can still read this though, because I don't think it's a prominent detail? I'm unsure.

Alastor is DEFINITELY ooc in this, I think. It's probably me projecting how I want to have silly friendships with unimaginable horrors of which reside only in the deepest, darkest corners of Hell.

•——————————————————————–—–•

| •<~ *~. . ~*.•.*~ . .~* ~>• |

•–——————————————————————–—•

The venture to my and Alastors favourite park was peaceful; or rather, it was as peaceful as it could realistically be in Hell. Conversing with each other about how we’ve been, how our day went, and what we’ll be doing later had made the distance between the hotel and ‘our’ park seem significantly shorter than it truly was.

Before either of us had realised it, we were making our way into the entrance of the park.

“We’re already here? Wow, either we started walking faster, or our memories got worse. I swear the park was further away last time!” I chuckled, “No matter, Al, are you ready to see the horrors of which are… couples?!” I dramatically gasped.

Alastor, ever the drama queen, played along not missing a beat. Drawing his hands up to hold his face; which had his eyes widened, smile shrunken just enough to form a farce shocked look. “Oh, the horrors! I shall face my fears and venture into this horrifying park alongside you!” He places his hands upon his hips, “These face-sucking terrors have no chance against two of us!”

A large smile granted itself solace upon my face, muted laughter breaking out through my nostrils in the form of breath. Soon enough, I gather my resolve and lend my arm out to Alastor; patiently waiting for him to interlock his arm with mine.

As we walk toward our favourite quaint gazebo —wooden, kept safe from modern renovation, many trees behind it, surrounded by beautiful grass and a few benches along the way.— Alastor snaps his fingers and the wonderful gazebos center is given a matching table with two chairs. A nice table covering spread over it, a delectable meal (not flesh!) you both thoroughly enjoy, and of course the tea set; in place and prepared.

“Mm, just as lovely as last time!” I thanked Alastor, skipping up to the gazebo with him, unlinking our arms to sit in our respective seats. Placing my forearms on the outer-edge of the table, I clasp my hands together to lean my head against, “So… Mind sharing anything that’s happened at the ‘princesses peace project’? I will say, I’m utmost curious, do tell!” and near instantaneously, Alastors eyes literally glow in excitement.

“I’d be glad to satiate that curiosity! She has received her first pathetic demon wishing to enter Heaven! I believe his name is… Sir Pentís? No, no, it’s Sir Pentious.” He quickly corrected, before continuing, “He had shown up again six hours after blowing our front wall off with a poorly made cannon in his poorly made ship. Ha ha!” He waved his right hand up and down in amused disbelief.

“Only six hours? and he was let in? She allowed him into the hotel? I swear, she has placed an unreasonable amount of faith onto the sinners here!” I comment in astonishment, enthralled by the information. Alastor details, “Not only had the princess let him in, but she had reprimanded Angel Dust for rightfully questioning his intentions!” He paused to sip at his tea, leisurely observing the unimportant demons also residing in the park currently.

I followed his gaze, bearing sight to a… rather shameless couple of demons on one of the periodically placed benches near our precious gazebo. “This is improper of me to say… But have they no shame? Why in the seven rings must couples do… That?” Deciding to jest my thoughts more I mimic the two, “It’s as if they think ‘Mm… lets go outside and play tongue twisters on each other for everyone to see! mm, oh, soo hot!’ As if we already don’t get romance, even Hell knows we need not to see that.”

Alastor nods slowly, turning away quickly with disgust present in his ruby eyes. “It is an unpleasant and grotesque display, yes.” He shakes his head, “Though, I’m relieved to know you have common sense, my dear.” He tries to rid that scene from his mind by closing his eyes, before snapping them open again, caught off-guard by my following sentence.

“What if… We twist their intestines instead?” Excitedly, I pondered aloud to him. “...” He stares at me for a moment, “Pardon? I may have to retract my previous statement, dear.” Covering my mouth with one of my hands, “My apologies,” I laughed, “I’m feeling a smidge hungry for violence, is all. Surely, you can agree? Perhaps, my revulsion has surpassed yours after all?” I tease as I near the end of my explanation.

Alastor gives another gracious sip of tea, responding back, “Ha, ha! I doubt that.” then serves the jambalaya in serving size for the two of us, his mothers recipe; of course. “As much as I agree with you on the… ‘Situation’ over there, I have yet to finish recounting the hotel's newest addition!”

“Oh yes, I nearly forgot!” Weary of the temperature, I spooned up a portion of the delicious jambalaya, “And you’ve brought the best food to go with this story! Your mothers recipe, I presume? You are one phenomenal cook, Al.” At my compliment, Alastor metaphorically perked up again, ego stroked and heart warmed nicely. Taking a bite of the astronomically delightful dish, I usher him to continue on with his story.

By the time he had completed telling ‘the drama’ to me, we had finished our bowls of the wonderful jambalaya; resorting to commenting on the other demons in the park, making jokes about each of them.

Suddenly, one of the hellborn children we were observing, had idiotically ran straight into a tree headfirst, then got back up only to trip on a large stick! I must admit, I do not regret wheezing at the sight. “Holy Hell-” Interrupting myself with more laughter, “The- they fell twice! Oh, Satan, my day could not possibly get better than this!” All the while, Alastor had simply chuckled, breaking into his loud ‘radio-man laugh’ as I named it, after my commentary.

“HA HA HA! You weren't lying about your itch for chaos today, were you!” Alastor pats the table before standing, “Alas, our outing is unfortunately coming to an end, my dear. Would you care for a parting dance?” Holding his gloved hand out to me, he gleefully adds, “As per our ‘tradition’, of course!” And I immediately grasp his hand, standing to follow him out to the grass nearby our gazebo.

Bringing both of my hands into his, I ask, “Are we gonna do ya’ swing dance, or my style this time?” Smirking, Alastor pulls me into a 180° spin, “Neither, only a quick dance to bid each of us a good afternoon!” He grinned, spinning me back around to face him and side-skipping to the right, as I skipped to the left.

We turn swiftly to face each other halfway and switch places, grasping the other's opposite hand and pulling ourselves closer that way. Circulating in the opposing direction, I quickly place both of my hands into his, moving farther away again. “The great spin, hm?” I casually jested, my left hand disbanding from his right, finishing the dance after a few minutes and dramatically bowing.

“It was a wonderful experience dancing with you once again, my friend.” He bowed back, “But I am afraid we must depart now. Will I be seeing you in Cannibal Town with Rosie overmorrow?” He asked, lifting his head before the rest of his upper body followed. I nodded my head in confirmation, “You will, and I wish you a good afternoon, Alastor! I will see you in Cannibal Town!”

And with that, we walked out of the park and to our respective jobs, all but impatiently awaiting our next outing alongside Rosie.

[vivi-in-the-sky-with-diamonds]

What Goes On In Your Heart? (MedStudent!reader x Paul)

(Photo by Linda McCartney <3 also to note, I personally imagined 1964ish Paul in this but you can imagine whatever you like since it really has no impact on the story lol anyway, I chose this photo for *ahem* reasons)

This wasn't my original post plan (especially given I was due to post yesterday, oops) but I remembered I wrote this a couple weeks ago and thought I'd post it instead! It's heavily inspired by this post by @mysweetgeo (not connected but you should read theirs first because I said so /hj) and my stupid amount of knowledge on the cardiac system (thanks, autism!). That said, that hyperfixation was awhile ago, though I did research while writing it, but if anything is inaccurate, let me know and I'll make changes! Originally written with a specific character in mind, but changed to be a fem!reader, so if there are any remnants of her written Scouse accent, please ignore lol. Proofed in UK English, like all of my Beatles fics. Anyway, enjoy c:

CW: light nudity, brief sex joke (can tag if needed)

I walk into the bedroom I share with Paul. “Paul?” He hums a response as he continues flipping through the book he’s reading. “I have an exam coming up tomorrow, and I was wondering if you could help me study.”

He sets his book down. “’course I can. Not sure how much help I’ll be in your field, though.”

I giggle. “That’s alright. I mainly just need you as a dummy.” I stop before saying, “Not a dummy, like a mannequin!”

Paul chuckles. “I dunno. I fit the dummy quite well.”

I slap him playfully. “You do not! Er, could you strip to your pants for me? Professional reasons only!”

He smirks as he does as told. “What exam could you possibly have that needs me like this?”

“Exam on the cardiovascular system. Well, it’s less of an exam and more of a project. I’m supposed to give a cardio exam to someone I know and report the results,” I answer. “I’m gonna be using my stethoscope, alright?”

“Whatever you need, love.”

I straddle him—only because it’s the easiest position for what I’m doing—before beginning my run-through. “Right, so first I’m supposed to check a bunch of things; make sure you don’t have cyanosis or oedema or things like that.”

He chuckles. “I dunno what any of that means but I put my trust in you.”

I laugh slightly. “Well, you’re not blue, pale, or swollen and you’re breathing fine so that part’s finished.”

I run through the rest of the visual things very quickly. “Alright, now, give me your wrist, please.” He follows my directions. “Ninety. Interesting.”

As I write the number down, he asks, “Is there somethin’ I should know about that number?”

“’s normal, if that’s what you’re asking,” I reply. “Well, a bit high but still in normal range. Something on your mind?”

“Oh, no,” he answers sarcastically. “Just watchin’ my bird straddle me, stethoscope round her neck, lookin’ like the sexiest doctor I’ve ever seen.

I blush slightly. “Shut up! Can I have your other wrist, please?” I feel for a moment before saying, “Okay, good, that’s in sync. Right arm, please.”

“Aren’t you gonna explain any of what you’re doin’?” he asks, giving me his arm. “Most patients, includin’ me, don’t have a clue what you’re up to.”

I blush. “Right, I forgot that part. Alright, what I just did was check your pulse and made sure it was synced in both arms. Now, I’m checking your pulse in a different spot.”

He chuckles as he watches me. “How many times are you gonna check it?”

I stick my tongue out. “Well, I only had two more, but now you’ve earned a third, since you wanna ask stupid questions.”

He pouts. “That’s no fair.”

I roll my eyes with a smirk. “Bollocks, where have I left my— oh, it’s right here.” Paul chuckles at me as I continue, “Blood pressure. Checking it in both arms. Professor said lying and standing aren’t both required so we’ll just do lying.”

“I don’t like that thing,” he whines as I strap on my blood pressure cuff.

“You’ll be alright,” I reply. “’sides, you agreed to this, didn’t ye?”

He pouts again. “That was before I knew it entailed all this.”

“Keep quiet, I can’t hear!”

A look of pure sarcasm covers his face.

“126/80.” I write the number down as I continue, “A bit high but normal, to match that ‘a bit high but normal’ pulse you’ve got. Gonna check the other arm now.”

“How do you even know what you’re listenin’ for?” he asks when I finish the other arm.

“Identical,” I murmur to myself before saying, “Come here.” I strap the cuff around my own arm and situate my stethoscope. “I’m gonna squeeze the cuff. You’re gonna hear a thump, alright? That’s what you’re listening for.”

He nods—though I’m not sure he completely understands—before closing his eyes to dedicate his attention to his hearing. “Oi, I hear it!” he says after a second.

“What’s the number?”

He squints to read the tiny numbers on the metre. “110.”

“Alright, tell me when the sound is gone.”

A silent moment passes before he speaks, “There. 70.”

I give him a sly smile. “Congratulations, Macca. You’ve just done your first blood pressure reading.”

He gives a proud smile. “Alright, what’s next?”

“Take a wild guess,” I answer sarcastically.

He rolls his eyes. “Where this time?”

“Neck, but I’m gonna listen first. Chin up.” I place the diaphragm of my stethoscope against his neck. “Breathe in and hold, please.”

I can tell he’s getting a bit put out with the number of things I have to do in an exam.

“Right, nothing wrong there.”

“Pardon me for askin’,” he interrupts, voice dripping with sarcasm, “but what was that for?”

Ignoring the tone in his voice, I answer, “Just checking for murmurs and bruits so I don’t give ye a stroke.”

He quirks an eyebrow but chooses not to pursue the question. I place two fingers on his carotid pulse.

“Everythin’ good?” he asks, his voice vibrating my fingers.

“Yep, still ninety,” I reply. “Right, time for your punishment pulse check. Spread your legs for me.”

He blushes and asks, “Why?” as he follows my directions.

“Gonna check the pulse in your femoral artery,” I answer. I place my hand where his leg meets his groin, putting my other hand on top. “Interesting how the pulse here is 115.”

He blushes deep red. “I dunno why I agreed to this.”

“Because you love me, yeah, yeah, yeah,” I sing. “’sides, my professor didn’t ask for that pulse so I’m not writing that down. Right, here comes the fun part. Well, fun for me. Checking your pulse again but on your chest this time. Hands to your sides.”

He does as I ask before I place my hand on his chest. I check in a few different spots before he says, “I’ll bite. What you doin’ now?”

“Making sure I can’t feel any murmurs. You can feel some of ‘em, ye know.”

He makes a surprised face. “I actually didn’t know that.”

“Now this is my favourite part,” I say emphatically, donning my stethoscope. “Mainly because it’s the easiest since I’ve never actually seen a patient with a murmur.”

He chuckles a bit and asks, “Well, what do I need to do?”

“Be very quiet.”

He lets out a little chuckle before going silent as I begin auscultating every area of his heart with both the diaphragm and bell.

“How’s it soundin’ in there?” he asks, startling me slightly.

“Still ninety, if that’s what you’re asking,” I reply after gaining my composure. “Or are you asking for a listen?”

“Askin’ for a listen on you,” he teases.

I roll my eyes with a grin. I know he’s not serious, but I humour him anyway. “Mitral. Tricuspid. Pulmonary. Aortic.” I move the diaphragm around with each word. “And just for you, Erb’s point. Not a valve but we listen there anyway. Don’t ask me why because I don’t know.”

“Mitral’s my favourite,” he blurts.

“Don’t go all ‘cardiologist’ on me, Macca,” I laugh. “Don’t worry, it’s mine too. And with that, I can safely say you, Mr. McCartney, are healthy as a horse, as far as your heart’s concerned.”

He smirks. “So, what do I get for participatin’ in this?”

“I’ll give you a stress test later.” I give him a quick kiss before climbing off him and reporting the rest of my findings.

[doriansredroses]

Okay I am so fucking pissed off. In college so far, my mental health has been awful. It was the first time I considered taking my life and lost my desires to live in a major depressive period. During this, I’ve completely lost my ability to take exams efficiently. Last semester, I failed all of my finals and winded up with B's and C’s despite having all A’s prior to the final exams. Someone who was working with me at school actually stated that I should file for alternative assignments instead of exams as an accommodation because my mental health and grades had plummeted to very unhealthy levels.

So, I talked with a professor about it and she is letting me do a project that weighs as much as the exams and it goes over the exact same topics. This is great. My other professors are downright ableist (the ones who are giving out the exams). I spoke with my English professor about this because he had the audacity to list the exams as “in-class writing assignments” in a lingo that meant writing a small assignment and sharing in class, when in reality, it was a fucking test. So I had to scramble to rework my accommodations because he told me he was refusing to help me out unless I had documentation (which I’ve also been denied). I have no time to study now except cramming over the weekend.

He told me that he has faith in me because I’m insightful in class every session and I clearly know a lot about the subject (literature in early 18th century England). I specifically told him that I’ve nearly failed classes before due to exams and he’s not budging, saying it’s extremely unfair for the other students if I have a format I need. What’s unfair is that he’s setting me up for failure in a class I used to enjoy. I get it, doing an essay instead of a test can be unfair in some eyes, but if I start actually failing courses, I could lose my hefty scholarship that covers more than half of my tuition. And if that happens, it’ll likely send me into another severe depressive/manic spiral. I’ll also have to drop out so close to getting my degree.

The class is made up of exams, which means there’s no chance of me succeeding, and what’s worse, it’s an English course. Having a C or below in literature is a mockery. A mockery. My professor told me to just come to class on Monday and take the test like everyone else, even disregarding my previous accommodations such as extra time and a private room. I’m screwed and I feel invalidated because I can’t study and take exams like a neurotypical student. I was diagnosed with autism (Asperger’s when the term was in use) and anxiety as a kid. My anxiety has skyrocketed since 2020. I’ve been degraded by professors before, but this one just seems ignorant. He doesn’t understand and now I’m going to have to pay for it (with bad grades and possibly dropping out since I have another professor who won’t even talk to me about the same issue).

I’ll be spending my weekend trying not to vomit and have an anxiety attack instead of celebrating the arrival of autumn. Am I overreacting?

[fairchilds-glasses]

Hii Sophie, it's Austin, I'm back and I was randomly rewatching the Chucky series and saw the signs of autism with Jake, Devon and Caroline:

For starters; hyperfixatation. We already know that these three seemed to almost be obsessed with their passions/hyperfixatations on a tremendous amount. Like the amount of dolls Jake had stored, Devon creating a whole fucking podcast and having posters, Caroline's fit over not having Chucky, etc.

Second; monotone or too expressive expressions. Jake seems really expressive, while Devon and Caroline seem to have this straight face usually all the time. And the eyes - like they're analyzing every single detail about what's in front of them or their enviorment.

Special interest; like I said, Devon is obsessed with true crime and still is, Jake is obsessed with dolls, art, sculptures, Caroline is obsessed with Chucky and dolls and murder. Like Devon was literally reading true crime at 7 am.

Difficulty making friends; Devon doesn't really seem to have this problem A LOT but it's really shown in S2 how he has a slight difficulty with making friends that probably only adapted with his mom. Jake is repeatedly remarked and shown to have difficulty making friends, and so does Caroline, said by Lexy that she "rarely even speaks" meaning Caroline is probably selectively mute as well.

Black and white thinking; this seems to only really be shown with Devon. In S2, he seems to have a black-and-white certain way of seeing and overlooking things, which is one of his greatest traits and his greatest problem. With Chucky, he barely bothered to hear anyone out since his black-and-white thinking.

Stimming: I have my reasons to suspect why Devon barely does this, but Caroline is seem to be swaying or tapping her fingers, Jake bounces his leg alot, messes with his rings, cracks his knuckles even when he's not anxious. And Devon sometimes does it too, but he's probably used to masking a lot, especially near Lexy.

Pattern recognition; This is like the hugest thing with Devon and how he was even able to brainwash Chucky. Because he saw the patterns in his behavior and the way Chucky operated, and was able to exactly determine what would break him and how to break him. Which is also why I think Devon may have undiagnosed apophenia, since he seems to find patterns or meanings when others don't.

Sensory issues: This is shown with Caroline and her disgust with being touched, and I think Lexy made some kind of remark that she had a meltdown because she wore the wrong sweater. And both Devon and Jake collectively try to avoid certain patterns and textures with their clothing, you can literally see how Devon rarely wears anything tight, showing skin, like Jake's now wardrobe a little bit. He specifically sticks to sweaters, shirts, all that.

Little or too much eye contact: Was I the only one who watched Caroline and thought that this little terror was almost staring into everyone's soul? Devon kinda does it too, like keeps main eye contact too the point it would kinda be unnerving if you were talking to him long enough while Jake seems to make little eye contact and only really does it with those he feels comfortable with.

In conclusion, all of these fuckers are autistic.

Oh thank god you noticed, I thought I was the only one!!!

It’s a lot more obvious and in your face with Caroline considering the meltdown in ep 3 and of course her aversion to touch but I’m really glad you noticed the more subtle things with Jake and Devon as well. Also obviously in season two Nadine is very blatantly autistic and I love it so much and obviously as I’ve stated multiple times Miss Fairchild also shows autism/ADHD tendencies as well. So yes I’m conclusion they’re all autistic 😌

I didn’t know if I was just projecting but knowing that you see it to has just validated it for me.

[bonefall]

Aaaa hc’s sorry I’ve just been thinking about these for the past week. This is how I’m gonna write the characters in my rewrite lol totally not projecting on any of these especially not Squilf haha

Leafpool is autistic but she instead holds eye contact so strongly that it kinda freaks people out, but she does it so she can really pick up on the social cues. When stressed she just starts organizing things and the healer den is always incredibly tidy when she’s in there. But if anyone messes with her herbs, moves them around or doesn’t tidy them back up properly she’ll have a minor meltdown and goes on a cleaning spree to fix it all back up. Noises really bother her as well, at gatherings she always has to put two little moss balls in her ears to muffle the noise enough. Not very social and can’t hold relationships that well but when she does have her people around (her family, mothwing lol) she’s like empowered and so much happier.

Squirrelflight has both autism and adhd but none of her traits got picked up so she’s struggling a lot bc her society holds her to the same degree as everyone else. She cannot hold eye contact for the life of her and is constantly have so many thoughts that she gets overwhelmed incredibly easy. But she’s so good at masking her meltdowns and stress that it’s all internal. Like her sister she’s also pretty bad with social cues unless she’s expressly focused on the person speaking to her. She can make many small relationships but has a hard time keeping them, sometimes just forgetting cats exist which she hates. Almost always on a energy high or a crash and has to sleep a lot because of this but she also has insomnia because she thinks so much so she usually can’t. While her sister finds control in ordering herbs she finds it sorting patrols and such and it’s her favorite part of her routine everyday. If interrupted or messed up she meltdowns and has to go to the woods to calm herself down, or to her sister for help.

Sandstorm has adhd. Less thought about this one but she’s very passionate and emotional. She’s even more energetic then her daughter as a apprentice and always went on dawn patrol to get her energy out. Has a lot of hard time focusing and can get a little tunnel visioned on tasks. From finding she’s good at hunting it’s always her favorite thing to do and finds the most comfort in it.

ADHD Squirrelflight is SO real I can feel it. It also probably what makes her so good at setting up patrols and making every member of the clan feel important; she's always considering the strengths and weaknesses of the cats in front of her who clearly don't have a task to do.

I would love to see her create memory aids for herself, like carving reminders into the walls of her den. I have a corkboard on my desk and it helped a lot when I needed it, it would be super cool if she had a sort of Warrior Cat Compliant chart she used to remember everything.

She could even have little figurines for each member of the clan! Like a thorn is for Thornclaw, a really brightly colored rock is Brightheart.

(My ThunderClan Scourge AU brainrot is informing me that he made an actual small statue of himself for her to use; I see him as a craftsman, as many BloodClan cats were.)

Sandy and Leaf are perfect no notes

You know who else is nd? Bluestar. That woman is autistic, and I'm correct about this.

[person4924]

pandora headcanonsssss

their enby (no one can change my mind on this, you cannot look at them and think that’s a woman. they are non-binary)

okay sorry that was harsh i think they go by they/them but their also fine with she/her (they aren’t really but their too nervous/anxious to correct anyone so they say they are (i’m not projecting at all))

their pan

their autistic

one of their special interests is marine biology

and astrology/astronomy is one of their special interests and they got hyperfixated on it once and whenever they met someone they asked like everything about them so they could tell their zodiac signs and stuff and see if they like them or not

their very very very mirrorball coded and then reggie is their the archer bestie

FOLKLORE IS THEM THEM IS FOLKLORE

every song in folklore is them. i could and will write paragraphs

they have an ED and them and prongsie bonded over it because they both have one and so one time dora was pacing the hallways one time during lunch and james just came out from hiding in the bathroom and they locked eyes and just understood and then they were friends from then on

again with the prongsie and dora cus they mean a lot to me so they were both the mirrorball friends in their friend groups, the one everyone could rely on and talk to the stable sane one and everything so when they were with eachother they could just be them and not be stable or sane

but!!! reggie and dora kinda had that too but in both friendships they understood eachother in different ways, in james and dora they both understood because they both struggle with EDs and know how eachothers brain works and with reggie they both are autistic so they can communicate in a different way

OKAY AUTISM I LOVE IT LETS DO IT

so they were never diagnosed or had a word for it (it was like the 70’s) and so they never had a word for it, they just were the way they were and that’s it and everyone close to them understood how they kind of worked and moved and everything and so lily, i love her sm realized and understood dora in the way where sometimes when there’s a lot of noise, they stop talking and can’t talk and they get really anxious and everything (in the beggining lils just noticed they left the room bc they didn’t want anyone to know) so lily got dora noice blocking headphones and then whenever they would put them on lily would play with their hair and one time it just started where she would draw on them and it was like a thing, whenever dora would get overstimulated dora would put their headphones on and then lily would check up on them and start drawing on the headphones

dorcas and them would have like hair days every once in a while and they would put like cool crystals and stuff in eachothers hair

with their friends they would kiss them on the nose and tap them on the nose and say “do you feel booptiful?” (this is something me and my sister do)

them and evan when they were young and bored just completely made up their own language and they still speak it like all the time and reggie keeps trying to decipher it but he can’t and it make him really mad

[neurosky]

Hi there- I’m pretty new to Tumblr so I still don’t 100% understand how it works. Also, my head is pretty fuzzy so the writing here might be really stiff and confusing.

I also have PANS/PANDAS. There aren’t many online that talk about it. I was incredibly happy to see your blog and diagnosis (which was pretty recent I think). Congratulations!

My symptoms started many years ago, when I was around 9. My behavior changed, my handwriting got really bad, etcetera. It got much worse when I entered 4th grade though. I remember freaking out over not being prepared for something, and was taken out for the first week. (I only found out about the first week bit again since I barely remembered that). Around this time, my mother was trying to find any kind of help. We eventually found one doctor, but since we lived in the USA we couldn’t afford the care. He actually mentioned PANDAS but we weren’t able to go through with any diagnosis.

I left the school I was at in the middle of 4th grade. Changed again when going into 5th. I barely remember anything from that point in my life. It just kinda sucked a lot. I couldn’t understand what any of the teachers were saying. Couldn’t do my homework. Couldn’t interact with others. We thought it would be better to go back to my first school, so in the middle of that year I switched again.

It was much more settled then. I had my old friends and knew the people there better. I also was in a better place family-wise (was living with my grandparents away from my dad during the other schools era). I still had trouble with things of course. I had to stay in during recess everyday because I was never able to finish my work. I still had trouble interacting with others, but I had old friends this time.

!!!/Warning for choking related thing. Don’t want that to trigger something

Over time I’d develop very specific fears that prevented me from doing things. I had an incident involving choking, and after that eating was incredibly difficult. I’m sure you could also relate to other people thinking you’re overreacting or faking it. My friends’ parents would ask, “why can you eat X but not Y?” My fears would get better over time, but switch out for new ones. They haven’t fully gone away either. I still have trouble swallowing, I have to sleep with my eyes covered in fear of sleep paralysis etc.

//

I started to develop an increasingly intense urge to daydream and pace. I’ve always had it, but it got to a point where it would take up most of my day. Spend hours walking in circles rethinking the same scenario in my head over and over.

8th grade came around and I went to another school again. The one I went to in 5th grade (confusing I know). This time around it was actually a lot nicer. I still didn’t interact with others -only one person a bit- but I was able to do my work well. There would be the one project once in a while that would make me breakdown of course. Especially if it had to do with presenting something. End of that school year though, I moved to Europe.

Moving to a new country was very difficult. I managed the first school year and finished my finals (I wasn’t fluent in the language I genuinely do not know how I passed) but by year 2 I couldn’t handle it. Second week I had to be taken out and we found a special therapist. I wasn’t able to reintegrate well but I could go for an hour a day sometimes.

It took a long time but my therapist was able to get me to a doctor that specializes in autism and other conditions. I went a couple times and after interviews and tests they brought up the idea of me having PANS/PANDAS. One doctor had a colleague that specialized in PANS/PANDAS, and was going to help us see him.

A couple days ago, I just finished my third IVIG treatment. Today, we just got news about all the care and benefits I’ll be able to get. It took very long, but I’m on my way to healing. I’m already feeling better in many areas. I’m nervous, but I’m more hopeful for the future!

I’m so sorry that was so long. And I’m sorry I’m posting this anonymously, I’m just a bit nervous about giving away too much information.

Just know that you aren’t alone! I related so closely to all the stuff you talked about. I read about you eating that salad and it reminded me what I did! Just a small positive thing like that make me so happy. I wish you the best! And it CAN get better!!!

Thank you so much for sharing your story! I'm sorry you had to go through this too, but I'm so, SO glad that you're on the road to recovery now. I totally relate to a lot of what you said too. It's so important to have a community and people who you can relate to.

I'm glad my posts can make you happy!! And you're right, it CAN get better <3

[vonkarma2]

4 + 14 + 23 + 27 + 34?!

4. How did you find the name for a certain character?

I have the same process pretty much all the time I feel bad bc this is such a fun question or it would be 😞 no ones named after anyone or like has their name chosen based on the meaning actively I just like look up names for the place and time period and pick whichever I think fit the character or I already have a name in mind when I make them. I’m like wondering if there were any exceptions. Oh I did want my character Adam’s name to sound like a pseudonym instead of a regular name right bc he’s an SCP agent type like mysterious or whatever. So I used a stage name generator to find out his last name (Adam I just liked how it sounded + the fact that it was biblical). I also like the last name King bc he is also in a position of authority over the other characters at times so it makes sense I guess. 

14.Which OC/s do you relate to the most?

Kind of embarrassing to answer lol like this has to be at least a little personal. I like actively try to make OCs different from myself so I’m not just projecting onto them yk. Like that would be first of all embarrassing LMAO but second of all it it wouldn’t be very interesting to explore I feel like. In my opinion it’s better to start with something you can understand, but like have layers of complexity that you don’t relate to at all or whatever. I don’t really know. But to answer the question I think I relate to like the 3 main OCs of Rocio Angel and Cirillo the most :P maybe Lucia as well. 

23. Have you ever seen something/someone that looks like one of your characters IRL? What was it like?

I actually haven’t that I can remember like not particularly. I have seen some people sometime where I was like ok I should draw a character’s hair or eyes or etc more like them. Like bc I was trying to draw them a certain way but wasn’t 100 sure how but I’d see someone who looked like them irl and I was like ok ok like that. Ofc Ive seen people with some shared traits, but no one who really looked exactly the same, no one where like I was like omg it’s like seeing them irl yk. 

In terms of seeing people irl that remind me of them though like vibes wise what I have seen is people whose clothing really reminded me of like certain characters. Like not that they would actually wear the same thing because I don’t live in a fantasy world in the 1940s but like that remind me of their personality like that they would wear it yk. One time I was like walking around in a city and saw like 10 people with really nice outfits trying to memorize them all to write them down and draw ocs in them later. I ended up doing one of them but I didn’t like how it turned out 😔

27. What's the nicest thing someone has ever said about an OC/OCs?

This question is so embarrassing I have to admit I remember specific nice things people have said about OCs. I do remember specific nice things people have said though. It is hard to pick like 1 nicest thing. You saying Rocio had autism swag is up there. My irl cousin said a bunch of REALLY nice stuff a while ago she likes reading so it was nice to see her reaction. But like every time anyone has said anything like they like a character’s personality or design or storyline or anything it’s really nice I definitely appreciate it and I will remember it forever <3 

34. What scene that you've written/imagined is your favorite?

That’s a good question. I literally don’t know at all. Bc I don’t have like all the details down for most of the scenes I’m thinking so all the ones I’ve like thought abt vividly just have a cool visual to go with them and that’s abt it. That makes it sound shallow it’s not that it’s just like I like the emotion of the scene and the idea behind it but not really any of the specifics you know. So I feel like if I tried to pick one it wouldn’t be like a nuanced pick it wouldn’t be like because it develops the character in this way yk it’d be like bc it’s the climactic scene where this character almost dies and it’s so cool or something like that. Does that even make sense. 

Ok time to actually answer the question. I wish I had thought of more scenes that like show the dynamics between characters that I like bc my plan with that was to write it in wherever it felt intuitive yk. Like check up on the chastcters’ emotional states to see how they’re reacting to plot events. I just realized as writing this I think I want to have Tiago live for longer. Ok ignore that thats not important ummm I think the only scene I’ve really thought much about along those lines is the one where Cirillo and Laura meet again after a long time. I like the conflict there I like the characters a lot and I think it has the potential to be a very satisfying scene <3. Also maybe like denouement stuff where Rocio is like hi getting back from thr underworld was so annoying anyway sorry for almost ruining your lives and getting you killed. As you can see I haven’t really developed that part of the story yet but I think it’d be cool to see as well

[5sosfanfictioncatalogue]

Artist!Luke Masterlist

Aquarelle (ao3) - antisocialhood michael/luke N/R, 3k

Summary: Michael was slow fucking into him, taking his time to build a pace that would ultimately drive Luke nuts and probably give him the best orgasm of his life

Brush Strokes (ao3) - falloutmuke michael/luke M, 667

Summary: luke has autism with a love for art. michael is an artist with a love for luke.

do you wanna touch (yeah) (ao3) - kingscrossinseptember luke/calum G, 1k

Summary: Calum always had trouble knowing what a normal amount of time was to look at another person, so when his brain kicked back into gear, he quickly dropped his gaze to his shoes, realized that was probably too obvious, and then darted his eyes around the aisle until he settled on staring intently at the rows of paintbrushes sticking up in front of him. Hopefully the pretty stranger was too focused on whatever errand he was running to pay attention to some weirdo fondling brushes. Alas, luck was not on Calum’s side.

every now and then the stars align (ao3) - merlypops luke/calum E, 3k

Summary: Calum gets in trouble a lot, Luke's had a bad life, and Calum would do anything to keep him safe. Anything at all.

if i knew from the start, would it change a thing? (ao3) - acetominophen luke/ashton N/R, 35k

Summary: “All I painted was you, Ash. It was always you.” But Ashton wasn’t listening to him at all. His silver-lined eyes were trained on the hand-written words at the bottom of the canvas, unblinking.

Luke’s gaze followed his and his lips parted because shit, he’d forgotten. He’d forgotten that he’d titled this one.

‘Poisoned myself again. LH’.

Artist!Luke Cowboy!Ashton

if my wall clock tells me that it's 4 in the morning i'll give it hell (ao3) - crankgameplays luke/ashton N/R, 1k

Summary: basically writer!ashton with a small case of lukesomnia and artstudent!luke who also cant sleep and he draws ashton a lot okay its not his fault the boy has such a nice face, he /has/ to draw it.

Line Work (ao3) - ashtonhours (heartandmindxx) luke/ashton, michael/calum M, 21k

Summary: Ashton Irwin, 07/07/94, no known medical conditions and not under the influence of drugs or alcohol – and originally from Sydney, as it turns out – is looking to get a bird on his neck.

“A California condor,” he says for about the twelfth time, “on my nape.”

a story about boundaries, trust, and a line in the sand.

no you don't need to be careful (ao3) - xieagle luke/ashton, michael/calum N/R, 3k

Summary: ashton irwin hasn't spoken in a large number of years. he works in the coffee shop his foster parents own, and is constantly dealing with the idea that no one will ever truly understand and accept him.

luke goes to university, studying art. he loves going to the local coffee shop to find a caffeine boost and to meet his friends, michael and calum, the two he is rather jealous of. he says it's a good boost for his muse, but never says why.

Paint Me (ao3) - @daydadahlias​ (cornflowerblue (daydadahlias)) luke/ashton E, 17k

Summary: “Holy shit, hold on a minute,” Calum says, “is that who we’re supposed to be drawing?”

“I can’t draw him,” Michael gawks, “I’m not a Goddamn renaissance painter.”

Or, the one where Luke is an art student practicing realism for a month and Ashton is the nude model in his portrait class.

twink boy bottom erotica. (ao3) - badomensbaby luke/calum E, 13k

Summary: in which luke agrees to be calum's model for his photography project.

[geminiamethyst]

Skyline Gang. Chapter 20

Prologue: click HERE

Chapter 19: click HERE

Chapter 21: click HERE

Small A/N: again I’m doing a little self projection on Bud from a similar experience that I had as a kid. This was also inspired by a scene from Puss In Boots: The Last Wish.

“What’s that, Sproutie?” Candi asked. She and the others were sat down at a table by time Dude and Bud left the living area. Rainbow had perched himself next to them. Sprout had something in his hands. It was colourful and small. It was shaped like a cylinder. Sprout was inspected it quite carelessly, even nearly dropping it at one point.

“Not sure. Just found it in a cupboard.” He muttered, shaking the cylinder a little. He suddenly spotted a small white tab. He missed it the first time he was looking due to how colourful it was. “Hold on.”

Sprout pulled on the tab. Before anyone knew it, there was a thunderous bang. Whoever was at the table, immediately ducked down low on the ground. Rainbow let out a shrill yelp before he ran away. Dude and Bud covered their ears in shock and a little pain. There was this high pitched ring that took a short while to fade. It was like a confetti cannon but had so much compacted into it. Streamers, confetti and glitter was scattered all around the table and the floor. Even Candi, Mimi, Pip and Sprout were covered in it.

“Sprout!” Mimi shouted, lifting her head up.

“Sorry, my bad!” Sprout responded, hands in the air as his head popped up from behind the table.

“Is anybody hurt?” Dude called over, taking a few steps forward. Everyone gave a quiet, collective response of no. Temporarily deaf maybe, but nothing too serious. Honestly, it was wonder how Dawn hasn’t shown up to see the commotion.

“Bud? What’s wrong?” Candi suddenly asked. Dude spun on his heels. Bud was hunched over, hands slapped over his ears. His body was trembling like an earthquake. His breathing was erratic, seeming like he was struggling to take a breath. His eyes were clamped shut so tight, they might as well be glued shut. Dude took a step forward, but stopped the others from approaching. He wasn’t fully aware as to how Bud would react.

“It’s wrong! This is all wrong! Since the start!” Bud muttered, his hands starting to grip his hair.

“Bud, calm down. No one got hurt.” Mimi said calmly.

“Loud noises surprise me!” Bud wailed in response.

“Really?” Sprout whispered, glancing back at the device on the table. He hung his head in shame as Bud’s words repeated in his head.

“And the structure has been all wrong too.” Bud muttered, seeming to ignore everything around him.

“Structure? You mean this Skyline building?” Candi asked.

“You don’t understand! None of you understand!” Bud rambled on, his knees threatening to buckle under him. “My life has always been about routine. Every day I’ve been going through structures that are in accordance to what I’m happy with. I’ve been fine for the first couple of days but now I’m going into a state of overwhelming anxiety because I can’t do that routine here.”

“Bud…are you-” Dude started

“-on the autism spectrum? Yes!” Bud finished, stumbling a little. Forgetting his previous worry, Dude stepped forward. He carefully placed his hand on Bud’s back, and thankfully wasn’t pushed away. Pip stepped forward and started to help guide him to sit.

“Bud, sit down. Slowly. Try to take deep breathes.” She spoke calmly, rubbing Bud’s back in slow soothing circles. The others stepped forward a little more, but still maintained a safe distance. It was never was good idea to stress anyone more in a state like this. Dude looked around. He had an idea, but he needed someone right here, right now. His eyes scanned the surrounding area. He finally spotted Rainbow. The poor dog was shaking a little himself, tail tucked between his legs. He didn’t look like he wanted to approach, but he still watched from a safe distance. No one could blame him, his hearing was just as sensitive as everyone else’s, including Bud’s.

“Rainbow! Here, boy!” Dude commanded calmly. He wasn’t sure if Rainbow would come near the group, but he had to try this now. Bud might not be able to clam down safely otherwise. Rainbow whined a little, but upon seeing the stressed out Bud, he immediately understood. He padded over. He sniffed Bud a little, then laid down slowly. He gently placed his head on Bud’s lap. He moved slow enough to not surprise Bud. It worked for the most part. Bud sharply inhaled, but then his eyes drifted to the canine. A hand trembled as he made contact with the soft, fluffy fur. Rainbow remained still, letting his body relax as he felt the limb make contact with him. The others backed away a little, waiting for the right time to approach again. Bud started at a snail’s pace with moving his hand. After his heartbeat and breathing started to slow down, stroking Rainbow started to becoming more efficient. It was becoming more efficient as well. Bud’s posture started to become more relaxed and his face sagged a little from exhaustion. No one said anything. There was still the risk of accidentally cause another meltdown. It was better to be safe than sorry in this case.

It felt like years had passed at that moment. The air finally started to feel lax. Bud continued to stroke Rainbow for a full minute. After taking a deep breath he briefly looked up at the others. However, he avoided all eye contact. He couldn’t bear to look at anybody. His eyes refocused on Rainbow, the texture of the fur being his salvation. He wanted to get up and go to his room, but aside from his hand, his body wouldn’t move. He was just stuck.

“Sorry…” he muttered, voice weak from the overstimulation.

“Bud, this isn’t your fault.” Dude spoke softly, cautiously kneeling down next to Bud. “I’m sorry that this hasn’t been easy for you, but you’ve been doing great so far.”

“Thank you. But I feel like I’m not being much help here.” Bud muttered, his voice becoming more quiet. He remembered the research that he tried to conduct, but never accomplished much. “I can’t even do any puzzles on my watch to help calm me down.”

Everyone has their breaking points. Bud had just reached his. It was almost admirable with how long he had kept it in for. However, it wasn’t healthy to do that, for anybody. And everyone knew that. It would explain why Bud would be so quick to hide in his room after a challenge and how absorbed he was in his work. It was his own coping mechanism. However, the stress relief had started to become stressful. Bud had no way to relax or stimulate himself in a healthy way at this point. There had to be another way to help him calm down without it being too much.

“How about the arcade games?” Sprout offered, pointing to the area in question.

“Too noisy…and the lights can confuse me sometimes.” Bud muttered, shaking his head furiously.

“Is that when other people are playing around you?” Mimi asked. Bud stopped his movements and started to think a little.

“I think so…?” He said after a minute.

“Why not give the arcade a try? If it’s too much then stop.” Candi offered kindly. Bud thought about it a little more. Then he finally nodded his head. He started to move, prompting Rainbow to get off of him. Dude offered a hand, which was greatly accepted. Bud wobbled a little, legs feeling like jelly. Dude helped to steady him, and slowly started to assist with walking. He remained slow, allowing Bud to go at his own place. Rainbow walked alongside them, ready to offer a paw if Bud needed it. Sprout whispered something to Candi and took off quickly. Judging by his direction, he was going to get something to clean up the mess that he had made.

“I think I’ve got some noise cancelling headphones in my room.” Pip mentioned, standing on the other side of Rainbow. “They’re more effective when listening to music, but they might help a little. If you think you’ll need them, don’t hesitate to ask.”

“I appreciate that, Pip. Thank you.” Bud smiled shakily. Everyone else had a collective smile. It looked like things were slowly getting better. However, it all depended on Bud will do at the arcade. If things don’t go well, they’ll have to think of something else. For now, they’ll just take things as they come.

[crowsyart]

Some baby spiritstein and spirits pelt pattern(he has a cross mark on his back) of course he’s a lot redder but yeah

Stein is also trans because. I’m projecting

[veinsandknuckles]

Reflect what you are, pt 2

Abed Nadir/Autistic f!Reader. In love and at a loss, Abed turns to self professed woman-expert Jeff Winger for advice with mixed results. Part 1 Rated: pg Warnings: casual ableism, casual sexism, autistic stereotypes, reference to the The Big Bang Theory. If I’ve missed anything, let me know. This fic hasn’t been BETA’d. As a disclaimer, I’ll say upfront that the reader insert’s experiences with and outward signs of autism are based on my own. It’s always impossible to write a reader insert neutrally enough to be projected onto by everyone and I think that’s especially true when portraying a disability that is at once so specific and so varied.  ——–

“...I think I’m in love.”

“Really.” Jeff didn’t look up from his phone.

Abed wasn’t sure why he’d picked Jeff as the right person to talk to. Perhaps it was just because Jeff had lingered in the study room after their last session, leaving them alone in the room, and if Abed didn’t tell someone, anyone, he might literally explode. “Yes. Definitely. I show all the classic signs.”

Jeff didn’t respond. Had his sarcastic, disinterested tone been more pointed than usual? It was hard to tell.

“Did you already know I’m in love?”

“With what’s-her-name, your new study buddy?” Jeff gave Abed a look. “Uh, yeah. I’m pretty sure everyone knows.”

“Oh.” Abed tapped his pen against the table and thought this over. “Do I talk about her a lot?”

“Not really, but we know you. It’s pretty suspicious if you take an interest in anyone who isn’t a fictional character.” Jeff put his phone down and leaned his elbows on the table. “Does this mean you’ve finally come to me for dating advice? It’s about time.”

“Normally, I wouldn’t need advice...”

Jeff’s eyes narrowed. “Because women throw themselves at you, for some reason.” He sounded resentful. “Yeah, I remember.”

“And usually I don’t really care either way.” Perhaps this wasn’t the best approach if he wanted Jeff’s help, but it was the truth. “I mean, the attention is nice, but it’s not important.”

“Well, if you’re ‘in love’” (here, Jeff made so many air quotes he threatened to sprain a finger) “that’s a whole different story.”

“Yeah. I’d be pretty upset if she didn’t like me back.”

“I’m sure. So what have you tried so far?”

“Hm.” What had he tried? Shockingly little, now that he came to think about it. “I’ve talked to her a little. We’re working on a project together for class. Oh, and yesterday I threatened to beat a guy up for disrespecting her.”

There was a long pause. “See, this is why you should come to me for inspiration instead of turning to the movies.”

“Yeah, but it was warranted. He’s a bully.”

“Yeah, but still. I never figured you’d go for the caveman approach.”

Abed shrugged. “I don’t really have an approach.”

“Yeah, we established that. So what’s this girl like?”

“I think she’s autistic.”

Jeff’s eyes widened and his mouth seemed to twitch. He didn’t make a face, but it seemed to take him some effort not to make a face. What was he trying to hide? Surprise? A lack of surprise? Amusement? Ridicule? Probably not envy, but what did Jeff know?

“Abed, that’s not a very nice way to sum up a person. We taught you better than that.”

Abed had it on pretty good authority that Jeff had pointed him out to strangers as ‘the robot’ and ‘just don’t call him Sheldon’ several times just this month, but for some reason, people tended to get uncomfortable if the spade joined in and also started calling itself a spade.

“Okay, this is clearly a sensitive issue for you. If I tell you she’s also beautiful and funny and attentive and kind and clever and beautiful, does that make you feel better?”

“That’s a pretty long list.” Jeff smiled. “Beautiful made it in twice, huh?”

It was a fair summary as far as Abed was concerned, repetition included, but Jeff needed to be brought down a peg or two.“I thought that would reassure you.”

Jeff stopped smiling. “Whatever. So if you care so much about her supposed personality, what do you guys actually have in common? Apart from, you know. The A word.”

“I’m not sure. We both pay attention in class, so we already have some similar interests.”

“Okay, so get her talking about those. Women love it when you pretend to care about their dumb opinions.”

Abed was very much convinced that this was not an uniquely female trait and he knew that if he chose to make a rebuttal, Jeff himself would make for an excellent exhibit A. But Jeff depended on his 90’s stand up comedian understanding of gender roles and it would be unfair to take that comfort away from him. Instead, he chose diplomacy. “If she has dumb opinions, I’ll lose interest. Even if she’s beautiful twice.”

“Yeah, you’re weird like that.”

“But I get shy around her, and I’m not used to being shy. I try to plan our conversations in advance, but then when I talk to her I forget everything I was going to say... And I don’t want to pretend to be someone else.”

“You’re overthinking this. Just go up to her and talk, ask more questions than you give answers and if she smiles and laughs at your jokes...” Jeff thought about it, then shook his head. “Huh. Yeah, I see the problem. You still can’t really read anyone. Even I can’t read you and I’m a master manipulator who’s known you for years. If she’s like you...” He seemed at a loss for words. “Don’t you have, like, a secret language or something? Bleep, bloop, Star Trek good?”

How should Abed know? It wasn’t like he’d been ushered into a secret society or subscribed to the local autism mailing list. Maybe there actually was a club and he just hadn’t been invited - that would be a fun, ironic twist. “Not one I know of.” The trekkie accusation he filed away for a later argument.

“Alright. So, when she’s happy or annoyed or on the rag, can you even tell?”

“I think so.”

Abed worried that Jeff misinterpreted the reason for his interest. He couldn’t tell if Jeff wanted to over or under emphasise the autism part, but he could tell Jeff didn’t get it. Sure, it was exciting to meet someone who functioned the way he did, but not because he expected or even wanted you to be a copy of himself. He wasn’t looking for the comedy staple where the weirdo, slash robot, slash dog’s love interest was played by the same actor, slash costume, slash dog in a wig or a pink bow. He was just as desperate to explore all your differences as your possible similarities, and the disability thing was just a small part of that. And he’d underplayed the “beautiful” part, but your mind really was not the only thing he wanted to explore. After all, you’d already turned his head months before he’d realised what you shared.

It dawned on Abed that he really would be just as excited to talk to you if the topics you chose made no sense to him - whatever you said would interest him, simply because you were the one talking. And if he ever accidentally tuned you out, he’d be happy just to watch your lips move.

How could he even begin to explain all of this? Or any of it? If Jeff had ever felt the same way, he would never admit to it.

“She emotes a lot.” By Abed’s standards, anyway. “I don’t think most people can really tell she’s autistic.”

“Why are you so fixated on this?”

“Well, in this case, I mean I think she’s more of a people person than I am. She blends in better than I do and that would take a lot of practice.” He paused. “I never really made friends before I got to Greendale, but...”

“You’re worried you might have some competition?”

Abed shook his head. If anything, competition would be reassuring. But why? “I don’t want her to like me because she has no other option. I want her to choose me.” If that was true, why did admitting it make his stomach feel so cold? Abed swallowed and voiced a fear he hadn’t even been conscious of before. “I’m worried I might be too weird for her.”

Now Jeff made a face even Abed could recognise, if only because he’d seen it so often over the years. It was a face of pained, awkward pity.

Abed was seriously starting to regret being so honest, especially with someone who clearly still expected him to be more ashamed of himself than he really was.  

But Jeff surprised him and his expression changed gradually into a less familiar smile. “Yeah... I think we all feel like that sometimes. I mean, not me, obviously.” Abed nodded and Jeff continued. “I hate to be a cliché, but if you absolutely have to be in love, I really think you should just try to be yourself. If she doesn’t like you, it’s better you rip the band-aid off quickly.” He reached out as if to give Abed a pat on the shoulder but seemed to think better of it and let his hand fall. “Who knows, she might like you better for being a bit weird - I know I get sick of hanging out with normal people all the time. Whatever that means.”

Abed nodded. Especially the band-aid argument appealed to him. Right now he felt that if he didn’t either get to touch you or let go of this obsession within the week, he’d just wither up and die. Wow. He might actually have to resort to a weekend of 80’s rom coms, either to look for inspiration for some big dramatic gesture of his own, or to do what most people probably did when they watched rom coms - daydream about his own crush and imagine you and him up there on the screen instead, kissing and holding on to each other for dear life while the music swelled and the rain pored.  This was so much worse than he’d thought.

[bugnirvana]

🌑☁️”Watch the stars with me?”☁️🌑[Will Byers x Reader]

Warnings: none other than some wack characterization on my end, reader is lowkey autism coded but whatever it’s up to interpretation!, swearing?, mild mention of drug usage, sadness n rejection n being ignored, out of character shit and stuff that didn’t happen canonically (obv)

terms used: he/him, boyfriend, masculine labels (:

what’s up I’m back. Took me less than a week to need a break 💀 anyway, here’s the coveted Will Byers fic! Initially I was going to make this an autistic and ftm reader but I just decided to go w a masc reader in the end. I also thought this was going to be fluffy and shit. Haha. Wrong. Angstiest shit I’ve ever written. Enjoy! Longest thing I’ve written and released at this point. Also don’t @ me in any grammar or plot errors, I haven’t proofread this yet.

It was another day at school for you. You sat at the back of your classes, simply observing.

Nobody really bothered you. It wasn’t that you were well liked by everyone, nor were you hated. Nobody really paid any attention to you, so you thought, and maybe this was a good thing, but it meant you didn’t have any friends. It kind of sucked though because you had a crush on this boy named Will Byers.

At the beginning of the school year, Will moved to Lenora Hills with his mother, brother, and sister. His sister, along with him, were in a majority of your classes.

Will’s sister, Jane, got bullied and teased quite a bit. She seemed very socially awkward, but it wasn’t her fault. In fact, you could relate at least a little.

Despite this, you were sure you were sure of yourself that you were going to ask Will on a date—to hang out at least, mainly because you didn’t know if he was gay or not, but he was doing a report on Alan Turing, a widely admired mathematician, who also happened to be a homosexual.

You were going to approach him after class that day, if all went right.

It was nearing the end of class, the class had been instructed to do a project on important people in U.S. history. You ended up choosing Walt Whitman, however you hadn’t presented yet.

Angela had just finished her presentation on Hellen Keller, which was ironic because of her bullying those who were different, and Jane was called up to give her presentation next. She had made a diorama that you found very cute, it was of her late father’s cabin. As she was explaining, Angela decided to interrupt and bully her. This got her very upset, she went to her seat crying. It truly hurt to see what happened, since you could relate, but you couldn’t do anything but attempt to give her a sympathetic look, but her eyes were directed at her feet as she made her way back to her desk and laid her head down.

Will was obviously concerned for her, as a good brother should be, so after class he raced after her and tried talking to her. That was the last you had seen of either of them aside from a crowd surrounding Jane and Angela, ending with Angela getting dragged away by a teacher.

it was early in the morning. You, however, were going to the Byers household to go and ask Will if he could hang out with you. The both of you lived in similar areas of the Lenora Hills suburb, so it would only take you a few minutes to get there. You looked down at the box in your hands and then shoved your Walkman in your pocket as Flashdance What A Feeling by Irene Cara came on, you softly hummed the music.

When you reached the Byers household, you knocked on the door. Will’s older brother, Jonathan, came to the door.

“Oh…hey?” he said.

“Hi. Is uh.. is Will home?” you asked.

There was commotion from behind the dude standing in front of you as he yelled for Will, but just as he had come to the door, a large van had pulled up at the house. Will came to the door but looked straight through you to the van with a panicked gaze, multiple strings of curses left his mouth as he rushed to his room. Jonathan turned back to you.

“We’re going to the airport, picking up an old friend from where we lived before,” he said, smiling at you. “You can join us if you’d like, you may want to make the decision quick, though.” You nodded, making your way to the van and hopping in.

“What’s up brochacho? Why are you here? You a friend of Byers’ siblings?” the strange man driving asked. You couldn’t find a way to make words leave your mouth as you admired his hair, it was really really long, you thought.

The seat beside the strange man opened, and Jonathan hopped in. Following suit was Jane and Will. Will held what looked to be a rolled up painting. Jane and Will just looked at you, mostly confused gazes.

“What are you doing here?” Jane questioned in a confused tone. Your face flushed as you stumbled words out.

“Oh uh…I came to—I came to talk to Will, but uh..you guys had to leave so I Jonathan invited me t-“

You were cut off by Will, telling the strange man whose name you found to be Argyle to just hurry and drive. It hurt you quite a bit, but maybe he was seeing an old close friend?

But another thought plagued your mind. Maybe a long distance girlfriend? You didn’t know. He never mentioned any girls from your observations, not even any old ones that he was interested in. Maybe he just didn’t have any luck in the dating world? Again, you did not know. The rest of the ride was mostly spent in silence. You felt incredibly out of place, so many thoughts raced through your head it was difficult to comprehend them, an—

—d before you knew it. You were at the airport.

“Is it okay if I come inside with the rest of you?” You asked Jonathan. He gave a simple nod of approval, so you followed the Byers looking down at your shoes.

You sat next to Jane in the uncomfortable airport seats, the opposing side of her being Will. She was obviously very excited, and so was Will. His smile in turn, made you happy also. You knew it wasn’t directed at you, but you smiled at the sight nonetheless.

Suddenly, spooking you out of your daydream, Jane and Will shoot up out of their seats and ran to a lanky boy around your age with curly black hair wearing a visor, sunglasses, and typical California tourist attire. Jane went up to him first and received a kiss from the boy, which put one of your thoughts to rest.

Will quickly rushed after and stood awkwardly next to Jane. To you, it was obvious that he wanted to show the boy the art he had created, however, he ended up backing out shyly.

“Who’s that?” The boy asked, in reference to me. Before I could respond, Jane responded for me.

“Just a friend from school, c’mon. I have a big day planned for us.” She said, the boy throwing his arm around her. Will looked pained from these interactions, which in turn also pained you.

After the introductions with Argyle and the warm welcomes from everyone else, everyone got back in the van, got breakfast, and began on their way to Rink-O-Mania.

You once again looked down at the box you had carefully crafted for the boy that you thought was perfect for you, thinking about how you could give it to your crush, but decided that now wasn’t the time, and with fleeting hopes, you simply kept staring at the box. Before you knew it, the van had gotten to the aforementioned roller rink. Jane rushed out of the van with the boy. Will lingered for a moment, it seemed he was zoned out.

“Uh— c’mon let’s..go.” he said, looking at you and leading you out of the van. You decided to leave the box in the van and follow Will. Before entering the rink, Jonathan called out to him.

“Hey, Will. We’ll be back at six. Have fun, okay? Uh.. you too, Will’s friend.” It had just occurred to you. Basically nobody knew your name aside from Jane and Will, hell, nobody had even let you complete a sentence aside from two miniature ones to Jonathan. Did it make you upset? Yes, but you decided to shrug it off.

You followed Will inside the rink. He was obviously not focused on you, moreso on the mysterious boy that had just arrived. You didn’t blame him, though, you were just some weird kid that showed up to his door earlier this morning because you wanted to wish him a happy birthday and maybe get him to hang out, and assuming he’s an old friend, you’d probably want to hang out with an old friend instead of the kid that sat in the back of the class, too.

You followed the group to the skate rental counter and rented your size of skate with money you were going to use hanging out with Will that day, but you supposed that you technically were hanging out with Will, so you allowed the thought to slip past you.

The three of them, Jane, Will, and the strange boy, all sat down to put their skates on. None payed attention while you stood there.

“Oh, Mike, you forgot socks.” Jane said. What an anticlimactic name you thought.

“Oh..dang—“ Mike said.

“They sell them at the counter.” Will said, pointing over to the same counter where we got our skates. Mike nodded and got up, giving you a nod of acknowledgment as he passed by.

You found another place to sit and took your shoes off. Soon, Mike came back with some gross yellowy-green colored socks.

“I asked for vomit green, and they gave me vomit green.” He said, eliciting a small laugh from Jane and Will. “Shouldn’t we let him sit with us?” He asked, motioning to me.

“Oh—nah… I almost have my skates on, no need to move.” You assured. Mike, once he got his skates on, he stomped his way over to you.

“Yeah, never got your name by the way,” he said. “The name’s Mike, and you are..?” He held his hand out in an attempt to get a handshake.

“Oh, yeah my name’s [Y/N]. Pleased to meet one of Will’s friends from where he lived before here.” You shook the boy’s hand. You then continued lacing up your skates.

The rest of them end up leaving to go onto the rink. You finished tying the laces and followed suit, a little far behind Will. You attempted to skate up to him, finally getting close enough to tap him on the shoulder, but he ended up skating quicker. You knew he didn’t mean to ignore or brush you off, but his friend from wherever he used to live had spoken to you more than he even had. And that shit stung bad, however, you persisted.

You continued attempting to follow the Byers boy, but you ended up getting lost in the crowd of other skaters in the rink. You looked around from your current spot attempting to find them. To no avail, you decided to leave the rink.

Finally getting out of the rink, you took the skates off and put your shoes back on, deciding to go to the arcade and maybe win a prize for the boy of your dreams.

It was around half an hour later, you had successfully gone broke at the arcade, but it was worth it. You had won a penguin stuffed animal in a claw machine! Will loved penguins, you knew that from the few times you were partnered for projects in class. You couldn’t wait to show him.

Speaking of, where was he? You glanced at the rink and couldn’t see them. The three of them were all giggling and had various snacks from the rink concession stand. They didn’t even bother looking for me?, you thought, ignoring Will scanning the entire building.

To you, it seemed that nobody wanted you here. You had invited yourself, after all. Nobody invited you. You had barely even spoken. You weren’t valued in the current event, but you couldn’t leave since Argyle was the one who drove you here.

It all came crashing down on you all at once, and the words leave kept being repeated in your mind. You needed to seek refuge, and you were lucky enough to find a place to.

You snuck into a room that said ‘employees only’ that appeared to be vacant and sat down. You didn’t really have much else to do, so why not just chill out by yourself?

By chill out, of course, you meant cry.

Sobs escaped from your body, the quiet sounds echoing from the walls of the room.

You found an old pinball machine to sit up against. You were tired, so you decided to go to sleep, ending up laying on the ground and holding the penguin close to you.

Will’s POV

“Dude, c’mon! You’ve been a total sap all day.” He said to me.

“I mean, yeah. I have. I’ve been a total third wheel.” I replied.

“A third wheel? You think that’s the worst thing in the world??” He asked. “You’ve been a complete dick to El all day. Not only that, but completely disregarding the ‘forth wheel’ you brought with you.”

“What?”

“You know? [Y/N]?? You know, the one that’s wanted to talk to you the entire day but you were too focused on me and El all day to even talk to?” He said. “Hell dude, I’m pretty sure I’ve spoken to him and acknowledged him more than you have today, and he isn’t even one of my friends.”

Oh shit.

“Really, dude. All he wanted to do was catch up to you and talk to you. Maybe tell you something, I dunno, but it’s obvious he wanted to talk to you for some reason. We didn’t even get snacks with him. We lost him when we first got on the rink!” He exclaimed. “Dude. I’m pretty sure I saw him holding a penguin plushie when we went and got snacks. Also pretty sure he went broke trying to get it for you in the arcade.”

“Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!” I exclaimed. “Fuck!”

“Yeah. You may want to right your wrongs soon and find him. He didn’t look to happy when we got snacks.” Mike said to me.

“Where was the last place you saw him?” I asked.

“I don’t know. You’ll have to look.” He said, walking away from me. I started panicking. Where the hell was I going to find him? I began frantically scanning the entire rink looking for them. El was with Mike, and [Y/N] was nowhere to be seen anywhere else. I checked the boys bathroom and the entire arcade. No [Y/N]. Finally, I ended up to an employees only closet, and all I could do was hope he was in there.

I opened the door and looked for a moment. I couldn’t find him at first glance, but then I found him.

Your P.O.V.

I was disturbed from my slumber by having to my name being called repeatedly.

“N-no…”

“[Y/N]? [Y/N], please.”

“Will?” I say, opening my eyes and seeing the boy I am so head over heels for right next to me.

“Shit—I’m sorry.” He said.

“Fo-For what?” I asked. “I—I invited myself.. I should be the-the one saying sorry.” And there went the tears.

We spent a good thirty or so minutes crying and talking. Making sure the both of us were okay. This ended in us

“Hey Will..?” I called out.

“Mm?” he replied.

“Would you…um..would you want to—after this—go and watch the stars with me? The um.. the forecast is clear tonight and I know a good spot.”

“That sounds good, actually.. I’ll have to ask my mom though— I’m sure she’ll be okay with it.”

Sorry if the ending was too cliché at all—I didn’t really know where else to take this story. I’m rewatching the goldfinch again and I cannot get enough of boris tbh. finn wolfhard more like find wolfhard LMFAOOOOO okay will byers is the colors yellow and orange and these golden sunsets n shit are just 🤌 Will Byers fr. Okay enjoy um. Sorry if it’s shit