#he called me the n word several times (which I thought was funny bc im white)

[i-am-going-to-skream]

Today i was reminded of how annoying people can be and how they are inferior to animals.

Sure my cat might piss on everything bc he’s a dickhead. But at least he doesn’t call me slurs, tell me to kms repeatedly, and act like an edgy child tryna look cool.

[strwberri-milk]

Passing Hands: Chapter 8 - The Layers of You

Bridgerton!AU || Diluc x Fem!Reader || Drama, Falling in Love, Slow Burn || 3251 words

a/n - i swear im a kaeya simp tumblr doesnt look like it but im In Love with him also my coworker/friend deadass reflexively choked me when we were figuring out breaks and i think its the funniest thing ever bc she felt so bad and it wasnt hard but it was so funny uraefioeardf

You spend another morning entertaining a number of prospective suitors, all tired out by the time their numbers begin to cease. Now you’re sat in the middle of the drawing room, relaxing and having your first biscuit by yourself for the day. You relish in the privacy of your drawing room, having asked the staff to stand outside of the doors instead of inside. 

As you sit by yourself, you find your mind wandering back to the conversation you were having with the Duke. It seemed that Lord Alberich was decidedly leaving him alone, giving you two ample opportunities to chat. The conversations felt shallow yet polite, most likely the result of the etiquette teachings. Still, sometimes you thought that you could feel a warmth seeping into his words, a semblance of affection from the letters in his voice. 

Despite those issues, you find yourself becoming more and  more entranced with this withdrawn side of him, wondering what more you could do in order to begin pulling apart at his intricate layers until you’re able to sit with the Duke on the same level, his smile becoming much less cold and a look that only you can see. 

Sometimes, you think you can imagine what it’d be like for him to hold you, closing your eyes and bringing yourself back to the ball where you first spoke. You can remember his strong arms as he held you to dance, flexing gently under the fabric of his clothes with each step. It’s quite scandalous to imagine such things but you cannot help it. The way he looks at you fills your being with warmth and you wish to feel him admire you with the burning scarlet in which he views the world. 

A day can only contain so much imagination and you get up with a sigh, deciding that perhaps you should finally ask one of the staff to join you on a promenade. They were quickly becoming a better way to spend time than staying inside and practising what were deemed to be lady-like pursuits that you needed to know to stay presentable. You decide that perhaps you can ask one of the staff to join you. One of the maids was beginning to warm up to you and surely it would not hurt your chances to invite her to spend an afternoon with you. 

As you’re about to call for her the doors open to reveal the Butler greeting you. 

“I see you’re about to leave My Lady. Would it be possible for you to stay for just a while longer? It seems you have a guest.” 

“I’ve entertained far too many suitors this morning and would rather spend some time with my thoughts for now. Would it be possible for him to come back another time?” you ask, already dreading more socialising with another man intent on courting. 

“Oh, I’m not here to court,” a lofty voice calls and you recoil. Lord Alberich. 

“Do not say that. I do not wish to encourage scandal upon my family’s name. I am simply here to visit.” 

He pops his head into your drawing room and grins, a woman you recognise as the Ragnvindr’s Housekeeper trailing closely after him. 

“My Lord wished to speak with you and hoped that bringing these would make it worth your while.” 

She hands off the basket to the Butler who reveals the contents, several bottles of well aged wine with Dawn Winery’s emblem placed delicately on beautiful glass. You gasp at the beauty of them, having known that Dawn Winery was the best but not understanding why until now. 

“Tis a gift from both the Duke and myself. His Grace has been experimenting with grape juice flavours but I’ve included my personal favourite wines in the mix. May I sit with you?” he explains, clearly not expecting a no. 

“I believe a rejection would be rude,” you grumble, making your true feelings clear. 

“Come now, don’t be so cold. Can’t I just visit with the only woman who’s caught my dear brother’s eye? As much as it seems we cannot stand each other, I do want things to work out. Don’t just shut me out.” 

He gives you a look reminiscent of a kicked puppy and you sigh, gesturing to a seat in the room. 

“Right, well first things first is to do something that will impress him. Diluc values accomplishments, something tangible and the result of hard work. Are you good at anything?” he asks with a raised brow. 

You sigh to yourself. Clearly he thought you needed to become better for his brother, deciding to use his ridiculous amount of free time to show up on your door. The Lord didn’t seem to mind his rudeness, making himself at home as he takes a biscuit and crossed his legs at the knee. He feels your stare and only grins cockily in response, giving you his whole attention while he waits for a reply. 

“That is quite a rude way to ask such a question!” you huff, sitting down across from him and crossing your arms. 

“But if you must know, I take care of myself. I’ve been working since I was young and even pay for my own room and board with wages from the club I work at. It's quite a lovely arrangement and I soon shall own my home,” you say proudly. 

Lord Alberich lets out a low whistle. 

“Impressive indeed. You don’t see many people like that up here. No, not at all. Talk to him about that. The trials and tribulations that you had to go through. I’m sure that the pathos of such a story will impress him,” he muses.  

“Do you think this is some kind of game?” you snap, having enough of his antics. 

“Of course I do. It’s called a season, is it not? One could say all these theatrics is much like hunting game, or waiting for the right time to pick the fruits off the trees,” he chuckles. 

Somehow, that was the exact wrong thing to say and you ball your hands at your side before pointing at the door. 

“Get out.” 

“I don’t think I will,” he says simply. 

“I said get out before I tell everybody that you came here to court me officially, even thought up the idea to propose to me and was simply here this morning to test the waters. I’m sure there are many people out there who saw your carriage and I refuse to take this insult to the life I’ve had to live. Sure, I may not be born to a rich and powerful family like you, but I worked hard for every penny I have. I do not need your help to charm your brother and if he relishes in the fact that I have struggled to be where I am today it will only attest to the fact that your whole bloodline is insufferable.” 

The two of you sit in silence, your anger much too strong for you to realise that somewhere within your spiel, he had already decided his role in affirmative action was now finished. 

“Do you want to know why it is that he responded to your letter?” Lord Alberich says as he gathers his things to leave. 

“I do not care. Leave.” 

“You live just a couple streets over from where I believe I was born. And you know what that means, right?” 

You look at him, realising that this was some piece to the intricate puzzle that was the life of the Duke, and one that not many were privy to. While you weren’t rich, you lived in a part of the city that was home to people who could at least make enough money for their own keep doing jobs that did not make as much money, but at least did not require the prostration of one’s self. However, just past that area lived those who had to do the jobs nobody wanted to do for money that could barely feed half a mouth. 

“You mean to tell me that-” 

He cuts you off before you can speak again, seriousness slipping into his normally aloof disposition. 

“You must understand that Diluc is really a good guy. Any woman would be lucky to marry him. You’ve already made a very good impression on him, do not doubt that. The man you’ve met is but a mere shadow of the person he really is. Father’s kindness is what allows me to enjoy the luxuries I have right now, and I will not have you be a less than perfect match for him should he continue his pursuit for you. The late Duke Ragnvindr wanted only the best for his sons, and I shall enforce that for the one that carries his blood.”

Your head spins at the drastic difference of the man in front of you and the one from just a few minutes earlier.  His words are heavy, a thinly veiled threat peeking out from behind them and greeting you. If you’d known he truly had good intentions you never would have been as cruel to him as you were. 

“I expect Diluc will be making more calls to you in the future. My work here is done. As far as I’m concerned, you passed all my vetting and are now, formally, invited to pursue my brother.” 

“I was unaware he was not allowed to make his own decisions,” you respond, the normal bite in your voice no longer there. 

“He is, but he’s quite dense when it comes to his own feelings. Therefore, I have to make those decisions for him. If you were to think this in terms of Diluc being a lady of breeding, I am her brother giving you, her suitor, permission to court her. Do I make myself clear?” 

You nod and he nods with you, patting your shoulder before taking his leave. 

When the Lord told you to expect the Duke’s visits more often, you had no idea that he meant that very day. 

The Duke is now seated in your drawing room, looking slightly uncomfortable at the prospect of being alone in the said room and you take pity on him, calling in the staff. At that, he visibly relaxes and you laugh, making him laugh a bit too. 

“Apologies. I just do not wish for your honour to come into question should someone find that we were alone. On the insistence of Kaeya, he has suggested that I try to relax more around you and I will now try that,” he says when the two of you fall into a silence, clasping his hands together in his lap.  

He’s awkward, like a foal walking for the first time and the only thing you can think is that it’s very endearing. To keep him comfortable, you sit a little ways from him, but notice the warm tint of his skin and his pulling at his collar. With how pale he is, you can tell that he’s beginning to flush and you can’t blame him. The room is incredibly warm, you having changed from a heavier dress to a lighter one to combat the heat. 

“Your Grace please feel free to remove your coats. I’m sure that you must be sweltering under all those layers,” you offer, worried that he was going to be dangerously close to collapsing. 

He hesitates for a moment before complying, sighing in relief and removing the layers. You watch as his tailcoat comes off, revealing his waist coat. It’s evidently too warm for that garment as well and he unbuttons it, the light muslin giving you a better idea of his form hidden underneath the layers of clothing. His hair drapes over his chest, long red locks spilling over as he tilts his head back and rolls up his sleeves, revealing muscular forearms that have your mind wandering, even more so as he undoes his ascot to give his throat room to breathe. 

“At any moment if you would like me to get dressed again do let me know. It seems this room directly faces the sun and leaves me feeling much warmer than usual. I might even get more freckles at this rate,” he complains, fingers tenderly touching his face as though he could feel them as they form. 

“If you do, I'll be sure to tell you,” you reassure him. 

“Thank you. That will be much appreciated,” he jokes back, a much easier smile on his face before he seems to remember something and shifts back to a more neutral expression. 

At that you frown, fiddling with your hands a little. Diluc notices this and sits up a little more, becoming more attentive. 

“Would it be possible for you to leave the room but keep the doors open?” he asks your staff who listen, leaving the two of you alone. 

“Listen,” he starts when they leave. “I really don’t know how to do this. Any of this. The past couple of years I’ve spent primarily focusing on taking care of my Dukedom, keeping Kaeya in check, making sure the winery is thriving the way it should be and countless other tasks. Social relationships on a more intrapersonal level are not something I can be taught. 

“I understand how to charm someone and how to say things that people want to hear. That is all easy. But somehow, sitting here and just speaking to you is terrifying and I cannot fathom why.” 

You get the sense that he’s speaking honestly, fingers worrying over each other as he waits for your response. The easy look on his face is betrayed only by the stiffness in his body and you realise that this reaction he’s giving you, the fear he’s imparted he feels is because of you and you forget about all your initial reservations. 

“I understand that some feel like a changed person when they pick up a quill and begin writing, their thoughts able to become much clearer and given the time to sharpen their wit until it becomes a fine sword. I suppose that’s how you must have felt when penning your notes to me,” you say in hopes of alleviating his reservations. 

“Yes, that’s right,” he says quietly, eyes looking back up to meet yours. 

“The man in the letters feels like an entirely different person, but I suppose he is somewhere if he was able to create those letters for you.” Your continuance hangs in the air as  the two of you fall silent but this time it feels less strained as he thinks to himself. 

“Could I ask you a favour?” the Duke asks to break the silence. 

“Of course Your Grace. Whatever could it be?” you say quickly. 

“Could we put the letters behind us? I would like to continue our relationship, whether it be platonic or romantic. It feels disingenuous for me to stand here in front of you like this yet simultaneously exist in your mind in such a different manner. Perhaps we could start with a blank slate and give all of this another try?” he suggests, giving you a hopeful look. 

“Perhaps, but only if you’re willing to afford me the chance to ask you a question,” you challenge, speaking again when he nods. 

“I have heard from several people that you refuse to court anybody. What about me made you decide to begin trying?” 

He sits back and considers the question. 

“Well, if I must be honest the answer is fairly simple. You aren’t anything like the rest of the women who try to pursue me. I feel as though I am a prize, something to be won, not a person. And while I am used to that feeling, I do not feel as though that is conducive to a healthy relationship. It is because you are different that I am willing to give you a chance. Does that satisfy your query?” 

“It does,” you nod, thankful that his reason was ultimately something simple. 

“I’m glad that you feel differently around me,” you continue. “It would never be my intention to make you feel like some sort of toy or a possession that I just aim to pass the time with. It’d be a grave dishonour to you and to your being. I can’t imagine that’s a pleasant feeling to have in the least.” 

“It isn’t,” he confirms, and you detect a lightness in his tone. He smiles at you, this smile small but much more genuine than the ones you’ve seen before, even the ones he gave you during your promenade a few days ago. 

“But with you I feel at ease, which is a feeling I seldom have. I quite appreciate it and I think I could get used to it. And if you’ll allow me, I think I would like to further pursue that feeling.” 

Quickly, you move to sit next to him, boldly reaching over to take both his hands in yours. He stiffens slightly but gives in to you, letting you touch him carefully. The show of affection is innocent, but you know that him allowing you to do something so innocuous and innocent is a show of his faith in you and the willingness to further let you in. 

“I would love that,” you say quietly, wishing you could properly intertwine your fingers together, feel the warmth of his palms without the fabric of your gloves between the two of you. 

After a second, he shifts your hands to hold yours, bringing your gaze to meet his. It seems almost as though he is searching for something within your eyes, a desperate last minute plea for an answer that only you can answer if you knew what the question is. His grip tightens a little. You can feel the flex of his fingers, the heat of his gaze as he stares at you, face so close you’re sure if you were to move forward the slightest bit your faces would touch and the honour he promised to maintain perhaps scandalised but you find that such a thing would be more than just welcome if it meant having it done so by his hand. 

You don’t know how long you two sit here with each other, not a single word passing between the two of you as some sort of understanding is achieved. As all good things must come to an end, so too must this, the warmth of his body disappearing as he moves back. His hands leave yours and he redresses, leaving you in awe as his fingers work over his clothes carefully, pulling his hair out of his jacket before standing up to bid you farewell. 

“I have to take my leave now, but I hope that you will not mind my visiting more often. I can assure you that you shouldn’t have to worry about me courting someone else. As far as I’m concerned you’re the only promising candidate,” His Grace says with a slight chuckle as he packs up. 

“Really?” you let your excitement best you, practically jumping up at his words. 

“Really,” he confirms, looking as though he wants to reach out to you again before turning to leave. 

“I’ll see you again when I have time. I hope you’ll be willing to wait for me.” 

The words leave you flush as you nod dumbly, bidding him farewell with a flutter in your chest.

[luminous-shifting-vibes]

actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server

out of context of course, what do you take me for? a sane person?

"they made lightning mcqueen hot"

"inch resting"

"Nix: Cars (2006) several people are typing..."

"im evaporating"

"enjoy precipitation"

"tow mater is more attractive than lightning mcqueen/hj"

"lightning mcqueen looks like he would call me a slur"

"why did I come back to a discussion regarding the attractiveness of vehicles"

"lark is the braincell of shiftblr tbh"

"you all need some grass in your life"

"me over here simping for block men and now literal cars"

"didn't nick wilde commit fraud canonically"

"i have no strong opinions on whether or not nick wilde is attractive"

"I AM AROMANTIC AND I AM NOT IMMUNE TO NICK WILDE"

"I am bisexual and I. Am not into Nick Wilde based on a simple fact he looks like he will drink all my pepsi and call me names"

"What is shiftbkr but not a bunch of simps"

"cries in Bianca Monroe"

"listen i have a folder called gayass

it is mostly pictures of kyoka jiro and virgil sanders"

"Nick Wilde x Reader where he steals your car 📷 carjacker to lovers AU 📷"

"he says "mama i like to step on keyboard""

"MY MOM JUST WALKED IN AND I HAD TO TELL HER I WAS LOOKING AT LIGHTING MC QUEEN HUMAN FANART"

"crab walks away"

""Y/N..." Nick whispered into your ear. "Your car...is a Honda Civic, right?" You looked up at Nick with a baffled expression. "Nick, my beloved? Whatever are you talking about?" "Just asking..." He said as he let you out of his embrace. "Hey, wanna see a magic trick, babe?" Your eyes sparkled. "Really, Nick? Of course!" Nick smiled. "Ok, close your eyes!" You giggled and closed your eyes, waiting for Nick to tell you to open up. Instead, you heard the loud rumble of a car starting up, and you open your eyes. Nick has stolen your car, and he has driven off into the sunset..."

"did y'all know his name used to be canonically Montgomery--he changed it to lightning mcqueen to get rid of his past"

"That is my exit number"

"cars trauma arc"

"wait do y'all know about car jesus" "as if jesus wasn't a ford focus in the bible"

"oh yall do not want to know about the trauma in my cars dr lmao"

"Dewit tau style babey make Lightning McQueen outlive everyone and stalk their reincarnations"

"Do they baptize other cars in like gasoline then"

"there is a pope car in the cars universe which means car jesus died for cars sins"

"NOT THE BOOMER MEMES"

"-lays facedown on the floor while caramelldansen plays-"

"like im serious how many of you guys endorse me falling face down on my floor" (NOT THE SAME PERSON AS PREVIOUS QUOTE)

"I will be Tall and no one can stop me"

"is a soft floor?"

"stop I thought faceplant meant like a succulent in the shape of a face instead of falling onto your noggin for a solid 10 seconds"

"Touch some grass??? What about eating grass"

"what if for every employee of the month i just printed out really horrible boomer memes"

"what ab smoking grass /j"

"Can the grassdirt smoothie be a special in the cafe"

"PLEASE IM ROLLING ON THE FLOOR REWRITINH THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE WHIKE SPEEDRUNINT MINECRAFT"

"you have to get good dirt from like the middle of a pennsylvanian forest for it to taste good though"

"I ate a four leaf clover as a kid cause i thought it would make me lucky"

"guys how do i see the mee6 leaderboard"

"I used to think i was half dragon and I ate plants out of sidewalk cracks"

"i think i punched someone"

"my parents told me to stop doing that so I looked at them and ate a flower"

"I ate grass when I was 9 bc I read warrior cats and thought I was a medicine cat ....................."

"bees are just spicy flies"

"I had a mental breakdown when I was three cause I didn’t know how to turn off a phone"

"My mom drank a bee once"

"when I was a baby I kinned ink sans."

"bro who here find the yellow hat man from curious george fine as heck 📷📷📷"

"mY LUNGSSSSSS"

"no one topping Him"

"I like em big"

"I think Moto Moto has no game like move over hunky boy I could beat you 1v1 Roblox Arsenal 📷📷📷"

"If you didnt have a crush on springtrap, jeff the killer, or Underfell/Gaster/Error sans don't talk to me /j"

"LOOK THEY'RE BOTH DILFS WITH ABS THAT WOULD FIGHT GOD"

"ZORO IS BANNED"

"Guys please help I found my old fnaf fanart from when I was 8 I'm in literal tears"

"OH NO BOT MY FIFTH GRADE HAMILTON PHASE"

"The worst attraction ive ever had has to be Sombra Overwatch"

"My family is like "save all ur art so I can sell it when you're famous" I literally could not sell this if I tried"

"screaming puppet"

"I just remembered Ive drawn overwatch/hamilton crossover fanart"

"my hermit crabs ate each other again"

"we're cannibals ????"

"having me here is a curse you have inflicted on yourselves and I for one am glad for it <3" "scitters around like a crab in anticipation"

"CARB DAY"

"WE NEED TO HAVE A WATCH OARTY"

"hey y'all ill be right back i have to throw away a crab carcass"

"if I watch cars I'm going to start laughing in the middle of it nonstop just because the word cars is funny and also cars are funny like how do you move silly little metal box with rubber circles"

"Lark asleep post catboy pitbul"

"Mwista Wowldwide! Nya!" "hermit crab 2: electric boogaloo"

"Is that why your name is chaos"

"manifest the crab power!!"

"cool dex fact: i can't read 📷"

"sighs adds to worship these entities list"

"with a knife <3"

"yeah and if he betrays me I could probably throw him across the atlantic ocean"

"give me his eyes"

"my good citizen i am a- wait no im nonbinary nvm"

"it worked on a fish idk what to tell you"

"what is gender??? Is that a board game?? If so can I be apples to apples that one's my favorite"

"CHUTES AND LADDERS"

"anyways actually my gender is Candyland"

"Oh god romes the destroyer of friendships/j"

"i am a simple gay i see math i run in the opposite direction survival instincts 101"

"math my beloathed"

"algebra makes me want to rip open a bag of swedish fish and swallow them whole"

"cackles in they're au characters and this will be very fun"

"pog !!!! me too ksajgks one of my drs is a sanders sides au"

"Is that bipper"

"tumblr sexyman"

"Good because he’ll fuck u up if u hurt a child"

"I want a wing-suit"

"looks like a bean would poison someone"

"my hermit crabs are cannibals what can i say"

"sonic the hedgehog kinnie"

"get yourself a man who is capable of the most ungodly actions but won't do them because of their morality owo"

"tell him he can steal my wallet"

"eyes"

"idk about y'all but I need blueberry sweet tea to live"

"y'know the red souls from soul eater i really want to eat those"

"but like only respectable crimes like stealing from elon musk"

"You can go cultbashing with he!"

"He acts like a flamboyant gay man, but if a flamboyant gay man was straight."

"Simp Satan 📷"

"definitely arson"

"They look like they enjoy lemon squares and other lemon desserts"

"Satan is all-powerful but he spends most of his time building honeymoon locations because he is convinced that the protag loves him"

"bc shes the reincarnation of his dead wife or something i guess"

annd here's a quote from our very own dream (@shiftingwastaken) that sums this post up:

"shiftblr but context makes it worse"

[pigstepmp3-moved]

holy hell, gamers, i finally reached one whole thousand followers! how bonkers is that! when i first made this blog in december 2018, i was just trying to start over in a new fandom. ive been active on tumblr for a looong time (since i was like 11, which is. not great, but we wont get into that). i cant remember quite why i decided to remake, but i never imagined getting a higher following than i did before, but i did! 1000 followers is bonkers, i’ve never had a thousand of anything! i seriously cant thank each and every one of you enough, whether you followed me for 911 or for mcyt or for whatever!

now, since ive reached this absolutely bonkers milestone, im feeling particularly sappy! so under the cut, i have some friends and mutuals tagged who are super great n who are always an absolute pleasure to see on my dash! <3 again, thank you all so much! (ps, if we’re mutuals and i didnt tag u in this, that doesnt mean i dont love and appreciate you!! i mostly am just picking people to tag based off how often i see them on my dash! i love all of u so much <3)

♡ 911 FRIENDS ♡

(aka the ogs, aka the fire fam)

♡ @lovelessmotel ♡ emily!! god, where do i even begin with how much i love and adore you!! i know youre one of my big sisters, but wow i am so proud of how much youve discovered yourself since we’ve met!! like wow, look at this epic, gorgeous person whos one of MY close friends! im so lucky to be friends with you! thank you so much for being my friend, i appreciate you and all the sisterly advice you’ve given me more than i can ever put into words!

♡ @eddiediaz-buckley ♡ sav!! mom!! i love u so unbelievably much!! i am so unbelievably grateful for you and everything youve done for me! all the advice youve given me and all the times youve let me vent to you have been so important to me and i cannot thank you enough for all that. im soso appreciative of you and im so glad that i have someone as amazing as you as my mom/big sister (we’ll never really figure out our fams family dynamics, will we?) (ps, whenever i go outside and have my keys with me, its always so comforting to feel the keychain you got me! its like my moms with me everywhere i go!)

♡ @liesoverthec ♡ bonbonbonbon!!! i love you so much, you wouldnt BELIEVE how much i love you!!! im so glad we met bc you are so unbelievably kind!! there is a very good reason a nickname for u is bonbon bc you are just as sweet as candy!! maybe even more so!! i love having you as one of my big sisters, you give such wonderful advice and talking to you always makes me feel a million times better!! i love you and i am soso glad i get to call you my friend!

♡ @marauder-girl ♡ sabsabsab!! i love u so much, u funky lil future lawyer!! im so proud of u and i can hardly believe ur gonna be my Lawyer big sister!!! thats so awesome!! i cant believe such a rad person is one of MY friends!! how lucky am i!! i love having you as one of my big sisters, youre so kind and funny and talented and your advice has always been so helpful to me too! thank you so much for being my friend and for always being there for me!!

♡ @nighting-gale17 ♡ cait, my love, my wifey!!! wowowow i love u so much!!! im so glad we’re friends, you are so unbelievably lovely!! youre also so unbelievably talented like??? hey queen wanna hand some of ur writing ability over to the unfortunate (like me). i’m so glad we’re friends, youre so sweet and even tho we dont talk as much as we used to, i still have SO much love for you in my heart

♡ @africaneuropean ♡ rae, my father!! i love u so much!! i know we havent talked at all in. who knows how long. but i still have so much love for u in my heart!! you are so iconic and cool and funny, im so glad i met you n became friends with you!! ur one of the coolest people i know, i hope i can be as cool and mysterious and wonderful as you one day

♡ @evaneddie ♡ DHYL!!! dhyl pickle i love u so much!!! whenever u pop into my inbox with random nice messages, every part of me lights up!!! u are so kind to me and for what!! i miss talking to u as much as we used to, you are so sweet and you are such a good friend!! i love u n im SO proud of how far youve come with gif making, i still remember when u first started n youve gotten SO amazing at gifs lately!! i love u soso much n im so glad we’re friends, youre so awesome!!!

♡ @basil-the-writer ♡ des!!! i love u so much!!! i know we’ve never rly talked all that much but im glad we have interacted in the ways that we have!! u are so sweet n so talented!! like the fact that u have the patience for those lil video edits u do?? that is so cool!! all ur edits are so cool, i cannot imagine being able to make stuff like that without dying every single time. u are so cool n i love being able to call u my friend!!

♡ GRIFF ♡

(aka griff)

♡ @yawnralphio ♡ u get ur own section bc u are my only 911 friend who isnt an og, but thats ok bc u are so swaggy!! i love being friends with u griff, u are so cool and funny and i am so glad that u still want to be friends with me despite all of the horrifying things u’ve learned about mcyt from me jdhfajkdhfa. i love u so much n i am so excited to get to know u more n get closer to u!!

♡ FRUITBLR ♡

(aka mcyt friends)

♡ @fear-epidemic ♡ atlas u are so swaggy and funny!! tumblr funny man!! im so glad we’re mutuals, i love u a whole lot. that one time u me n wilby played bed wars together was so fun even if we’re really bad! n that one time we played on the fruitblr server while on vc was so fun, i loved talking to u n playing with u so much, we gotta do that again sometime. i love u so much chapin n im so glad we’re friends!!

♡ @netheritedream ♡ hari my beloved... i love u so much. like literally so much that its really embarassing. i am so glad u tagged me in that one follow forever post n put the offer on the table to let me join the server. i love being ur dumb lil husband!!! jus like actual fundy, i would risk it all to watch treasure planet with u. i love u sososo much, i wish i could live closer to u so i could actually talk to u more often </333 im going through severe withdrawal, pray for me. im gonna stop talking for now bc if i kept going on, this post would be several miles along n nobody has time for that </3 just know that i love u so much and i love having matching icons n i love being ur husband, i love u so much

♡ @sootswilbur ♡ tommy... i care you so much. little bromther!!! im sososo glad we’re friends bc u are so kind to me all the time n u are so easy to talk to!! ur also so talented, ur writing n ur gifs are so amazing n im so proud of all the awesome stuff u make!! seeing u experiment more with ur gif sets n trying new things is so awesome n inspiring and i love seeing ur experiments work out!! i love u soso much n im so happy to be ur big brother!! (or one of them at least)

♡ @fruitbur ♡ virgil my Other beloved... i love u so much!! u are one of the kindest people ive ever met n im so glad i met u!! i know ive already told u this before but ur tagging system is so sweet n i love seeing u reblog my posts bc im like “yay alastair is gonna tell me that he loves me in the tags :D” i also lovelovelove ur theme, i love the soft pink and the lil aesthetic board that u have pinned, its so nice to look at!!! ily sososo much <333

♡ @theartofmining ♡ hey fruit ily. like genuinely, u are so unbelievably funny that u make my ribs hurt so much. i know we’re like never rly that serious but i love u so much. as much as i joke about hating u, i really am glad we’re friends n i really look forward to becoming better friends with u. i love u a whole lot rain, i love seeing u on my dash bc ur full of good takes n funny posts

♡ @sapnaplive ♡ dream.... bonks our foreheads together... i care u so much. my other half!!! i love u with my whole little heart. u are soso cool and im so lucky to be able to call u my friend!! ur themes are always so cool, i wish i could be half as cool as them!!! ur art is also so epic like??? u are a triple threat: good at art, tumblr themes, AND minecraft building. and ur also so kind!!! u are one of the sweetest people i know, i love u so much and im so glad im friends with u!!

♡ @dreams-little-kitten ♡ corn u are so weird and i mean that in the kindest way possible. u are so cryptic n i love that so much about u. ur like the wilbur to my philza sometimes and i think thats so awesome. that one time u came into my inbox to talk shit about that one cuphead boss was so funny and absurd, i loved that so much. i love You so much. i love how ur just so effortlessly funny, n im so glad i can be friends with u

♡ @dreamsmp ♡  JEL!!!! i love u so much holy cow. u are so sweet!! all the time!!! ur also so talented, ur gifs always look so good!!! i love being friends with u, ur always so nice to me n u always leave rly nice tags when u reblog my gif sets that make me so happy!!! i think about that one time u rbed my fundy gif set n said “FUNDY GIFS” and “GIFS BY FUNDY” it made me so happy!!! i love u a whole lot, im so glad we’re friends :)

♡ @leaguelol ♡ damien!! i love u so much u funky little cryptid!! i love when u pop into the gc just to share cryptic thoughts, u are so strange but i think thats so cool of u!!! i honestly see u kinda like a lil sibling, im always so proud of u when i see ur art on my dash!! u are so talented at art!! i love u so much n i love being ur friend, ur rly sweet n i love seeing u on my dash and in the gc!!

♡ @its5undy ♡ idk why im putting u on this, ur my mortal enemy. jkjk, i actually love u a lot clay! i love joking around with u, ur so funny and for what. im so glad u joined the gc bc i love talking to you so much!! i still love that one time u reblogged that fwt gif set n tagged me in it moments after I reblogged it. i love that u thought about me, that rly warms my heart! i love being friends with u sososo much

♡ @cavalreee ♡ oh hey, another great big fruit!! i dont think we talk all that often, which is a shame, bc ur so sweet!! and also so fucking funny, why is everyone in this friend group so fucking funny, its not fair. i love seeing u on my dash talking with ur other friends, u always have the funniest convos ever. also? ur desktop theme is SO epic, it threw me off the first time i saw it but its so swaggy, just like u!! i love u soso much azzie, n i hope we can talk more in the future bc ur so cool

♡ @technosoot ♡ i love u even tho ur a br*t /j /j /j. jannat u are so unbelievably sweet. im so glad u joined the gc bc u are such a kind presence both in there and on my dash! u radiate very Warm, Friend energy. ur friend shaped. i love u so much n i love being friends with u!! im very eager to become closer friends with u bc u seem like a really amazing friend to have

♡ @sortasortaspicy ♡ les where are u in the gc i miss u </3 i love u so much, u fit in so well from the very beginning n brought so much more fun and laughter into the gc. i dont know u all that well n i dont think we’ve talked one on one like. at all. but id love to get closer to u bc ur so rad and ur so sweet!!

♡ EPIC PEOPLE  ♡

(aka mutuals who are so cool n id love to be friends with u pls talk to me)

@eurytherm ♡ @vampkings ♡ @weelbur ♡ @wilburtheesoot ♡ @quackityskarl ♡ @wimblrscoot ♡ @technofarmer ♡ @wooteena ♡ @bloodforblood ♡ @smpsapnap ♡ @literallynotfound ♡ @hearty-an0n ♡ @enderanboo ♡ @springbonniecpu ♡ @pandascanpvp ♡ @tommylnnits ♡ @strawberrygogy ♡ @timedeo ♡ @nymika-arts ♡ @h-isforhome ♡ @eboykarl ♡ @joe-alkaysani ♡ @betwecouldmakesome ♡ @squirrelstone ♡ @maddieandchimney

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for dating Peter Parker

Peter Parker x reader

warnings:

a/n: YES I MADE THE MEME ON THIS POST PLS DONT STEAL IT i’ll post it separately if u want i feel like im on a roll

prompt: @babiehonoret: “Hiiiii! Could you do a headcanon for what it would be like as Peter Parker girlfriend?💜”

peter was very new to the whole “dating” thing

but it didn’t bother you one bit, you loved how dorky and awkward he could get

you were both students at midtown high, you attracted his attention after rushing over to one of his science projects at (what seemed to be) random

it’s like he...sensed you

“hey, hi, sorry! i noticed that a pretty important piece was loose on here, which would either be anticlimactic or cause an explosion. i doubt you want that”

“wow, um, thanks a lot..?”

“y/n”

he got lost in your smile

“‘y/n,’ that’s a nice name.........oh! i’m peter, by the way”

“good luck out there, peter. i’ll see you around”

you got in second place at the fair

peter got in third

but he congratulated you and asked if you’d want to go and get pizza

which is a no-brainer

goofing off the entire time you guys were in the restaurant together

“peether! look at dis sheeze!!” (peter! look at this cheese!!)

*cue to an extra cheesy pizza stretching from your mouth to across the table*

and the peter realized you were perfect

he walked you home and it was a looong walk

but you guys enjoyed every moment of it

and as soon as you were home safe, peter rushed back to his apartment to gush to his aunt

“may? may! you’re not going to believe the day i had!”

“you won the science fair?!”

“third place, not important! i met the perfect person for me!”

he was literally jumping on the couch

it wasn’t long before you and peter were practically joint at the hip

his friends teased him so much

“so, when’s the wedding?” -mj

“very funny”

“please, parker couldnt score someone like y/n” -flash

you told your parents about him and they really wanted to meet him!!!

which scared him and his aunt had to talk him through table etiquette

“i dont think it’s going to be that fancy, may”

“it’s best to be prepared, come here”

she fixed his hair and did that thing where someone licks their thumb and wipes something off of someones face, you know what im talking about

“mayyyy”

the dinner went pretty good, all things considered

peter tripped over his words a whole bunch, your parents thought it was adorable

“so, y/n tells me you used to intern with the tony stark”

“y-yes sir”

you walked him out when it was time to go and gave him a peck on the lips that he couldn’t process

“goodnight peter”

and then just like that you were dating

but something seemed really off about peter

he was always sore, he’d disappear at random, and he had these faint bruises and wounds that he swore were from gym class

you snuck out to spend the night with him

may didn’t mind

“keep the door open three inches” -may

“sorry, she just finished season three of stranger things”

staying up late, way too late

peter was a new fan of cuddling

cant tell me aunt may didn’t try to bring out the baby pictures

you couldn’t get enough of it

after peter drifted off, you felt a bit cold

you tiptoed to his closet in hopes of finding a hoodie, but found a red and blue onesie instead

*confusion*

*realization*

*looking at your sleeping boyfriend, then the suit, then peter, and the suit*

“holy shit, no way...this explains so much”

grabbing a jacket anyways and laying down with peter again

sneaking back into your house the next day (no one suspected a thing)

you kept peters jacket, he insisted

popping up at school the next day with a hug from behind

“were you going to tell me that you were a superhero?”

you weren’t mad, just intrigued

he put the pieces together right there

“huh??? what??? i dont know what—”

“save it, i think its cool. just dont get killed and i’m all good”

“you are amazing...”

“says spider-man”

now that his secret was out to you, he’d stop by your house every once in a while

injured or just to say “hi” and “i love you lots”

the knocking on the window was hard to get used to

“shit!”

*peter waving with an awkward smile on his face*

he introduced you to happy

not on purpose, he was just with may and it was hard to ignore him

“y/n, this is...harold”

“since when are you calling me by my first name? happy hogan, it’s a pleasure”

peter is always late

and there have been several times hes had to “save you” (just an excuse to hang out while hes on patrol)

covering for him constantly

“oh, peter? yeah, he’s in the bathroom, i wouldn’t go in there. we had a taco bell date that he’s regretting right about now”

later on...

“mr. parker! hope you’re feeling better, try drinking some water”

“huh?”

peter’s the type of guy to send you memes from across the classroom then peering up at you to watch your reaction

Pete🕷💖: “sent an attachment”

Y/N✨: PETER STOP I CANT CONCENTRATE

you’ve definitely sang “the itsy bitsy spider” to peter

he cant decide if he loves or hates it

bonus if u start tracing his back it makes him tingly

“your hair is so fluffy!”

fluffing his hair while he makes his lips even thinner

awkward pda

but you give him cheek kisses before every class

spidermankissspidermankissspidermankiss (i had to)

school dances with you as a couple.....chaotic

also you punched flash one time after he called peter a new insult

flash is now a little bit intimidated by you

peter showed you how he makes his webs

“whoa, we could totally use this in b—”

“please dont say it”

“sorry i just like the way your cheeks get all red”

giggle fits that last too long

he has his arm around your waist a lot and it makes u feel all floaty

cant forget about his squad

mj and ned are protective of peter!!!

“if you hurt him we’re gonna come for you”

“yeah, that’s right”

they became your friends too

and you geek out together bc thats just what friends do

and i think thats it for now!

[alphaketoglutaricacid]

@onehithero said: also we know theres at least some actual animals besides gadoll liek the scorpion n cows tht show up for a sec in ep 1 so tankers hav tht going for them re: food sources ..SORRY FOR RAMBLING SO MUCH deca dence essay got sleeper agent activated

onehithero said: i rly like what usaid abt kabu from natsumes pov too but i cannot form a half cohernet thought abt tht one

onehithero said: ALSO ALSO i think its interesting how the ep 8 conversation w minato is i think the only time kabu talks abt being jealous of humans being able to choose their own paths

onehithero said: also how minatos convinced hes like a good lil cog in the machine yet hes done 50 things tht wuld get him labeled as a bug but he just ignores all tht. the both of them can be so disconnected w reality

onehithero said: like minato didnt know abt 1)natsume 2) how the system has made kabu so severely depressed n he culdnt put up w it anymore.n minato continues pushing the just go along w the system shit he doesnt understand tht he was contributing to kabus misery.. n bc of tht kabu doesnt trust minato enough to tell him abt natsume for so long but then he goes n asks smth so big of him as go against the system

onehithero said: thinks abt how kabu n minato r obviously so important to each other but minato understands him less n less over time & kabu kinda already knew its risky to confide in minato like minato did know abt pipe which was a long time ago but he didnt know abt natsume til kabu was already sacrifing himself for her sake. n yet kabu then goes n tries to get him on his side anyway cuz he wants tht so badly..

onehithero said: OMG OMG CHEWS THESE WORDS SLOWLY N THROUGHLY SO DELICIOUS THANK U THANK U u get it u understand i love reading n writing essay lengh responses abt deca dence & again u just hit the nail on the head w this

Please let me know if this @ u 8 times and sorry if it did.  I will reply under this readmore but i love this enthusiasm! I like discussing this stuff so if u want keep it coming. I wanna understand deca dence better and i think i will by sharing ideas w other ppl. 

I think kabu and minatos relationship  is as good as it is because theres clearly a lot of mutual love and respect between them even when they don’t understand each other and thats why minato still runs after him when he hears kabu going suicide mission lets go baby. I think its interesting that minato was like ready to lie down and accept getting mass scrapped until he hears kabu go im about to be hilarious and hes like actually living and staying alive sounds great actually forget what i said about it being over.   you are so right about kabu and trust and natsume. I will always cherish episode 5 where kabu gives this big rousing speech about how natsume inspired him and saved his life and minatos there like ..who? ..what?? I think they may not be used to hiding things from each other. Also I think them drifting apart mirrors natsume and feis drifting apart tho I think while feis the instigator on that side kabus more on his side and minato like natsume is like wondering what in da world is going on. I think someone else wrote about this better than I can.

I do think minato does know kabus severely depressed because theres this line in ep 4 where he puts his hand on kabu and says like you’ve toiled enough at that awful job. and also in episode 11 when he and kabu talk and kabu says he was in a similar place as minato now in that he was waiting every day to be scrapped minato has no reaction until kabu says but that bug saved me. I think he knows kabus very depressed but he does not know how to address it cuz the system never gives either of them the tools or options for it. Though also I feel the system discourages meaningful relationships between the cyborgs so I think what minato and kabu have is likely pretty rare. Kabu donetello and turkey also fought together for a long time but turkey turns on donetello in a second even tho they fought together, he was his number two, and they were in prison together, and were pretty much all they got and donetello kills him in turn. I also think minato probably knew because he’s empathetic. Like I’m not sure about compassion but he’s very good at understanding where other ppl are and how to meet them in the middle so both parties get something they want. That’s how he got all the gamers to collect the old deca dence parts. Not by cashing in on ppl doing the right thing but by framing it as the final mission. He gets his lgbt community center coworkers for fight with him one last time by appealing to their sense of duty. He got the system to put kabu in jail instead of getting scrapped when Mikey got scrapped for a lesser offense. The list goes on. A tangent but I think the fact he acknowledges the living conditions of the humans are gonna get worse if nothing’s done even tho he’s apathetic at best towards them shows even when the system tries to mold the cyborgs into the roles it wants, sometimes the traits they have just keep on going despite themselves. I’m gonna stop myself before I go into jill and this theme but I’m gonna talk about it someday. So I think its more likely than not he knew but he didn’t know how to navigate around it also because it’s heavily implied he’s going thru the same thing and I think kabu might genuinely have no idea Bc kabu lacks empathy but his heart... is huge. When he hears minato express his feelings of not knowing what he wants he instantly tries to reach out and explain minatos not alone in what he feels. This is why they’re good foils. while kabu moves past where he was in the start where he states he does not intend to oppose the system and his compliance while also trying to do the bare minimum drives him to suicide, and finds the willpower and a reason to live and rebel against the system through his connection to other people (first natsume , he hangs out w kurenai sometimes too, and then with the jail robots). Meanwhile minato whos stuck in his literal ivory tower (it’s a Metaphor) never makes any of these connections. It’s the irony of kabu working at a armor repair job giving him some ability to connect w others vs minatos higher position isolating him from everyone else. I think kabu living amongst the ppl he harmed drove him to give up on life quicker, while minato being far apart shielded him from rlly having to see the effects of his actions I think he was headed a lil slower in the same direction. I think we’re led to believe minatos okay where he is but I think towards the end it’s clear minato has spent most of the series also in a bad place. I think he views things very similarly to kabu in that he wants to use what power he does have to protect the ppl he cares about similar to how initially kabu tried to just convince natsume to quit several times and he was like whatever at the rest of the humans who are natsumes comrades dying but he chooses to put it all on the line and try for some systemic change when he sees natsumes determination to fight. Also I think minato holds very little loyalty to the system cuz he doesn’t only like breaks 1000 rules for kabu (the hypocrisy) but he also looks the other way a lot. For example, when he overheard the top rankers talk about limiters he’s like I’ll pretend I don’t hear it also turn on private mode next time and he doesn’t berate them for considering cheating. Also donetello has been using an illegal avatar to climb to S rank again (isn’t it interesting that even after the ranked system is abolished something similar took its place). And his avatar looks the same as it did when minato worked with the guy. There’s probably like not that many ppl in s rank. And he calls himself donetello. Minato knows he’s supposed to be in jail but does he tell anyone? He’s like well.. that looks like someone else’s problem if they notice *goes and vapes* it’s so funny how little minato cares but it’s also not funny Bc some of minatos cruelest actions and things he’s complicit in are born not outta malice but apathy to everything. I think it shows (tangent number 4?) how the systems use of excessive force is counter productive cuz neither minato nor kabu are willing to report anything to disrupt the order Bc neither of them think the level of punishment is warranted. I also think that minato is probably the first person kabu really opens up to about why on a personal level he feels the system needs to be destroyed after Ep 7 is really interesting. It really speaks to how deep their [mutual and not platonic relationship I don’t know how to label ] is. I also think that he admits to minato that he envies human is rlly interesting and would like to hear what u have to think! I think it’s interesting that what really sets minato off is kabu saying he wants to choose for himself and also wants other cyborgs to have that freedom and I think it’s one of the few times we see minato get genuinely angry and have it not stem from worry. Tangent 5 I’m really extrapolating here but I think it’s very likely given how high up minato is that he likely knows of several cyborgs that rebelled against the system for similar reasons as kabu and knows how it ends and I think it probably feeds into his defeatist attitude. I think his role in the system must really kill whatever grasp of whatever minato has cuz he constantly has to act like it’s almost the end of the world and he’s strapped for resources all the time for like decades and decades of having to fake that type of desperation to entertain ur player base and cuz ur also on tv to entertain the general populace to distract them from their soul sucking jobs. I think that’s gotta mess with his perception of himself and also his ability to see that struggle as real and genuine. I think that’s also gotta be hard cuz he seems like out of his whole fuck we r under attack persona he seems like he’s a lil closed off but generally chill and somewhat upbeat to ppl who know him and he just wants to be isabella from animal crossing. I got really off track here. I think what really gets me is their relationship is built on knowing each other so well and so long , and how it’s managed to survive and persist through all this tragedy. They really mutually respect and love each other and that’s why kabu let’s minato walk away from his revolution even tho it compromises everything he works for. It’s why minato ultimently accepts kabus willingness to die for a tanker even tho he really doesn’t get it at all and it means it’s goodbye forever. But it’s still not enough to save either of them. Minato can’t save kabu from trying to passively starving himself to death and I’m not sure if kabu even knows where minato is at mentally. Sometimes no matter how close u are to someone there r things u miss and things u can’t help each other with. Even tho the two resolve to fight and then die together cuz this seems like the best choice Bc the system they were born into offers no alternatives, the deca dence doesn’t even activate without the help of other ppl. I think it shows one relationship cant support all that weight. In the end it is through their bonds with other ppl that gets them to an ending where they both survive when they decided alone their only option is death. Also u are so right about the other animals existing I totally forgot ty I cannot believe I forgot about the scorpion which calls to natsumes hairstyle which is a visual gag on how natsumes a bug and how like a scorpion, although unassuming, and fucking kill u, just like how her trying to get her boss to open up eventually leads to the whole thing toppling down. I also have a lot of thoughts about natsume but I’m still thinking of them and thinking hard Bc sometimes she becomes kabus inspiration Pinterest board and I don’t like that. When she shines she really shines but it starts getting sloppy towards the end so I have to think a lil longer about it. Okay I’m done. Also it’s kinda hard for me to look like I’m agreeing to ur points and nodding in this format but I really appreciate ur thoughts and will try to convey this. Maybe by formatting as a response to each of ur replies next time

[istheresomebodywhocanimagine]

Bang a Gong//Get It On (SMUT)

anonymous said: Hello! I LOVE your writing!! I was wondering if you could write something about Roger and reader where they're like roommates/friends and one day she accidentally walks in on Roger while he's playing with himself and some sexual tension starts to develop cause like holy fuck that was hot and Rog is like big or something idduno ❤️

(a/n: almost 6000 words so its a big boi i’m such a crackhead i added a little bit more to the request than asked bc I wanted to make it kinda funny hehe okay but it still follows the request don’t worry  ANYWAYS yall im a mess this week hbu? Listen to T-Rex’s Electric Warrior album thx)

It was late afternoon when you decided to head over to yours to continue your study session with Brian. He’d already graduated, but he had taken some of the same science courses as you, so he promised he’d help you in exchange for a warm, home-cooked meal that Roger had zero part in. Whether it was because he distrusted Roger’s cooking skills or fearing being poisoned since they’d been bickering more lately, you had no idea, but you did know one thing – Roger would most definitely be home at this time. He usually got home an hour or two before you, so he wouldn’t be expecting you and you were just hoping he wasn’t eating any of the food you were planning on making.

The sound of T-Rex’s newest album, Electric Warrior, greeted you when you opened the door to your shared flat, Brian directly behind you. Immediately, you zeroed in on the source, knowing that Roger was most likely listening to it in his room, and you wondering where he’d scrounged up the money for that as you sat your book bag down on the hallway floor, pulling your shoes off individually before sitting them next to the bag. Brian followed suit, grimacing at the loud volume of the gritty-sounding blues song that was playing out of Roger’s speakers.

“Rog?” you called out, making a futile attempt to get a response from him as the music overpowered your voice. When you heard nothing, you sighed and rolled your eyes. “He’s going to go fucking deaf before he even goes blind, I swear it.” Pulling your hair out of the bun you’d had it in for most of the day, you locked the door behind Brian before grabbing your book bag again, heading for the couch.

“Wonder if he can hear the record, maybe he needs to turn it up a bit,” Brian joked lamely, making you snort and shake your head at the attempt at a jab. Not his best work, but the message was clear. You decided it was probably a good idea for you to go ask him to turn it down – if Brian did the same, you imagined it would end about as well as any of their other interactions had recently – in flames.

Dropping your bag at the end of the couch, you heard Brian go into the kitchen for a glass of water while you headed down the hallway, the music becoming almost unbearably loud as you approached his slightly cracked door. You could just see into his room, his disheveled honey blonde hair visible as he had his back to you – the headboard of the bed was directly next to the door, since he was a big fan of the whole ‘run into the room and immediately flop on the bed’ movement. Not appearing to be doing much except for laying there, you rolled your eyes at the fact that he was asleep right now.

“Got your music loud enough?” you yelled teasingly, throwing open the door and almost screaming at what you walked in on. Roger had his trousers and briefs pushed down just a bit, and he’d unbuttoned them as much as he could, fully freeing his cock from any restraints. He was laying down on top of his duvet, at least before he realized you’d barged in, after which he’d scrambled to tuck himself back into his briefs before rolling over away from you and pulling his duvet with him. The frantic action caused him to fall off the bed, and he landed with a thud and a loud groan as he disappeared from your view for a moment.

Your jaw was practically to the floor as you stood there, in absolute shock at what had just happened. The music was still playing loudly, and you felt your cheeks burning with embarrassment as you tried to grapple with what you’d seen. After a moment, Roger’s head popped back up over the side of his bed, and he looked both pleasantly annoyed and humiliated as he stared at you, seeming twice as embarrassed as you were. “You said what about my music?”

The attempt to change the subject was a valiant effort in itself, but was lost on you as you pressed your hands to your cheeks, laughing in horror for a moment. “Shit, Roger, I’m- I meant to knock, but the door was open, so I-“

“You can turn down the music,” he interrupted, giving you a pointed look before glancing at the record player to your right. Still in a mild daze, you nodded and turned slowly, turning the music down as the lead singer’s voice barely whispered out ‘You’ve got the teeth of a hydra upon you, you’re dirty sweet and you’re my girl.’ That only made things far more awkward than they already were, Roger’s piercing blue stare upon you the entire time you moved. It felt so uncomfortable as the singer yelled out ‘Get it on, bang the gong, get it on!’ that you had to shut your eyes for a moment, then open them again and give Roger a strained smile.

“I’m making pasta and garlic bread. Bri is here.” With that, you nodded curtly and scurried out of the room, trying to mask the conflicting emotions on your face as you reemerged into the living room.

“Thank god he listens to you,” Brian remarked as you passed, going directly to the kitchen. “I think I would have gone mad if he hadn’t turned it down. The man’s an animal.”

You almost choked at the last part of his sentence, coughing to cover it up as you pulled out a pot to boil some noodles in. Your cheeks were still bright red as you moved along, boiling the water and grabbing ingredients to make alfredo while you tried to erase the image of Roger splayed out on his bed, in the middle of getting himself off.

For the moment you’d seen him in what he thought was alone time, his face was pleasantly void of emotion, in a state of bliss as he rested back against his pillows. He looked utterly relaxed, careless – and dare you say, enticing – as he played with himself, probably assuming you wouldn’t be home for several hours yet. So when that bliss had erased itself because of you, you felt a twinge of guilt. After all, who were you to deny him that pleasure?

And something else twinged inside of you too – envy? Desire? Something darker, deeper than you’d expected had blossomed in your stomach, which wasn’t new – Roger was by far the most attractive roommate you’d had, well, ever. But this time, it was overwhelming, and you had to shove it down until it was buried when you’d almost finished making the pasta and Roger sauntered into the living room, his eyes immediately on you through the doorway. There was a look on his face, a warning one, and he glanced at Brian before raising an eyebrow at you. You realized he was wondering whether Brian knew, so you shook your head and offered a small reassuring smile, returning to the pasta and letting out a breath you didn’t know you’d been holding.

“Oi, Roger, done destroying your eardrums?” Brian teased, Roger rolling his eyes as he started towards the kitchen, still lazily sauntering as if nothing had happened.

“Hello, Brian. Did you know I saw Chrissy today?” Roger remarked to Brian, seemingly offhanded, but you knew he was trying to push Brian’s buttons as he came to the refrigerator, opening it and pulling out a beer. “Talked to her about you, in fact. We had a nice conversation, sweet girl. A bit tame for my taste, but sweet.”

“Really?” Brian asked, trying to mask the anxious tone of voice he suddenly took on but failing miserably. You could hear him hop over the couch and make his way into the kitchen, Roger moving over to get plates down for the three of you as Brian attempted to nonchalantly lean against the doorway and cross his arms. “What did you tell her about me? Fred said he’s been talking me up, but who knows whether that means he’s telling her I’m smart or that I have a big cock.”

You stiffened a bit at that, almost imperceptibly, but Roger noticed. His blue eyes were picking you apart at the moment, noticing every movement, every subtle shift in your body language. He was nervous, afraid that you were going to slip up and say something about it, but you bit down on your lower lip before continuing to stir the pasta. God, speaking of big cocks, who knew Roger Taylor had one? Of all people, my fucking roommate. This is terrible, why am I thinking about this?

“I described you in terms that were positively glowing,” Roger schmoozed, and you turned down the heat to the pasta as you went to go throw in the garlic bread. “Which coincidentally is also how I’d like to see you in hell.”

“Oh, piss off,” Brian grumbled, giving him the middle finger before he went to get himself a beer from the fridge. Peering over your shoulder at the pasta, Brian gave you an appreciative pat on the head before he grabbed the bottle opener from the cupboard, tossing it to Roger once he’d opened his beer. “That looks fantastic, Y/N, you’ve outdone yourself.”

With that, he exited the kitchen, heading to the bathroom to wash up since your sink was full of dishes – Roger was on your case as soon as the door had closed. “Did you tell him? You better not have told him.”

“I- Fuck, I didn’t tell him, Rog, relax,” you stuttered, alarmed by how aggressive he was being all of a sudden. On top of being slightly turned on from how hung your roommate was, now you were trying to fend off even more excitement as he basically trapped you in the corner, his tightly-closed fist resting on the counter near you and making all of the veins in his slim forearm protrude. You finally moved your gaze up from his hand to his face, and he had a stormy look in his eyes, something impenetrable about the emotions flitting across his face. “I know he’d never let it rest if I told him.”

“Good.” With that, he pushed off the counter, giving you a once-over before he grabbed his beer off the counter and popped the top off, taking a drink. “We don’t speak of this, alright?”

“Obviously.” You nodded as you spoke, and he got himself a plate before helping himself to some of the pasta as you pulled the garlic bread out of the oven, your hands shaky. It didn’t go unnoticed by Roger, but he chose not to speak on it, instead just taking a piece of the bread carefully so he wouldn’t burn himself. He then tossed it on his plate, looked up at you, and raised his beer, tapping it to his temple before tipping it at you.

“Cheers.” With a smirk and a final nod, he exited the kitchen, leaving you to wonder what in the hell was going through his mind. He sauntered off the way he came, heading for his room with a sway to his step that hinted he wasn’t nearly as ashamed about what had happened as you’d thought.

And obviously, he wasn’t, because two days later, you walked in on almost the same exact thing.

This time, you were alone, and thank God you were, because Brian would have caught Roger first for sure. You walked into your apartment to find it pleasantly quiet – Roger was playing that same album, but at a reasonable level this time. So, you figured he’d probably be in his room again, and you were right. What you didn’t count on was for the door to be wide open this time, giving you a full display of almost the exact same thing all over again as you approached the doorway.

Roger was pretty much spread eagle again, propped up against his headboard this time – his eyes were closed, his head having fallen back in ecstasy as he stroked his cock at a lazy pace, his grip loose on himself. Long tendrils of blonde hair were splayed out haphazardly across the pillow, and he was just in his boxers and a button up this time, but the button up might as well have been off – it was completely open, displaying the way his chest rose and feel with each shaky breath he was taking.

You debated whether to say anything or not, but you figured you had to talk this out with him one way or another, so you cleared your throat and watched as Roger’s eye peeked open, looking directly at you in the doorway. A sigh left his lips as he grabbed a pillow, covering himself up while he climbed off of the other side of the bed, tucking himself in before turning back to you with a hand on his hip. He kept the pillow placed strategically in front of him, nodding. “Lovely afternoon, isn’t it?”

“Roger,” you replied in a knowing tone, raising an eyebrow as you stepped into his room. “We’ve got to talk about this. What in the hell is going on?”

“You’ve been coming home early,” he shrugged, still standing in that nonchalant pose that was completely disrupted by the pillow. Honestly, you were surprised he hadn’t kicked you out of his room yet. He was still clearly excited, his eyes completely fucked out from how close he’d gotten to his high, so it was a wonder that he was entertaining your conversation right now.

“Not that early!” you retorted, crossing your arms as you crawled onto his bed with a hesitant glance at where he’d just been sitting. Placing yourself near the end, you sat cross-legged facing him and patted the bed in front of you. “Come on, what’s really going on?”

He gave you an eye roll before he carefully crawled onto the bed, imitating your sitting position and keeping the pillow in the same place as he crossed his arms, almost avoiding your gaze. “I dunno,” he offered in a mumble, shrugging again and looking down at his bed as he pursed his lips.

“Roger, I’ve literally been your roommate for a year now. I figured I’d walk in on this sooner or later, but twice in a few days? Your sex drive is…”

“What?” he pried, his head snapping up so he was staring directly at you. “Horrifying? Excessive? Yeah, imagine being the one that wants to fuck like a rabbit. Isn’t fun, thank you very much.”

“No!” you laughed, sitting back and stretching your legs out as you propped yourself up on your hands, resting your head on your shoulder. “Lord knows I can’t speak much on excessive sex drives. You know how many times you’ve almost walked in on me?”

“No fucking way,” he countered, looking at you in disbelief as he uncrossed his arms. “You’re the biggest prude I know.”

“Was Brian not here two days ago, or?” you asked, giving him a questioning look. “Besides, I hide my escapades very well. You’re just unpracticed, is what it is. I’ve had loads of people over that you haven’t even seen – takes skill to hide them as well as I do.”

“You’re lying!” he laughed, looking you up and down for a moment. When you raised an eyebrow and remained as serious as could be, his face was quickly taken over by a look of amazement. “Y/N, a bigger whore than Roger Taylor? Now, that’s news.”

“God, why do you always talk about yourself in the third person? You’re so weird.” You shook your head and laughed as he shrugged, his eyes wandering over your legs for a moment before looking back up to you with an odd, queer look. “What?” you asked, cocking your head as he stared at you as if he’d just thought of the most genius idea in the world.

“Let’s fuck.”

You literally jolted at the statement, not expecting the suggestion at all. Sure, you found Roger hot, and there had been loads of sexual tension between the two of you before, but you chalked that up to just being on your end because you wanted to jump a lot of people’s bones. But with Roger, you guessed it had been sort of different. Never had you held back so much on your own desires – you’d screwed around with plenty of roommates before, but you didn’t want to this time. You wanted Roger around, as much as you hated to admit it. Having him as constant, tantalizing, out of reach eye candy was better than shagging him once and having to move out after things got awkward.

When you didn’t reply, he took the opportunity to continue. “No, I’m serious! Let’s do it. Why not?”

“Why not?” You almost had to laugh, and you closed your eyes as you tried to think rationally. Don’t fuck your roommate. That’s, like, roommate code number 1. “Roger, we’re roommates. I don’t think that’s very smart.”

“I think it’s a great idea,” he replied simply, his slim pink lips parted slightly as he stared at you, a mischievous look on his face. “You’re hot, I’m hot, we’re both horny. It’s a winning situation, really.”

“But what if it makes things awkward?” Roger looked introspective for a moment, mulling over the possible outcomes of what he was suggesting, then returned to his mischievous look.

“Never know if we don’t try.”

He had a point. You tilted your head to the side for a second, wondering to yourself if you were really doing to go through with this, but your body spoke for your mind anyways. “Fuck it,” you murmured, moving to your knees and crawling over to straddle him as he tossed the pillow to the side, meeting you with open arms. His arms snaked around your waist as you smashed your lips against his, taking his face in your hands before threading your hands into his hair. Kissing back eagerly, he pulled you flush against him, pressing your chest against his and digging his fingers into your back a bit.

When you took his lower lip between your teeth and tugged a bit, the sound of his groan set off alarms in your head. On one hand, you panicked because this was Roger, your roommate – this sound should never be coming out of his mouth because of you. But on the other hand, the sound of it was so delicious that you smiled widely as you held on to his lip, lingering for just a moment before you let go.

You were about to say some smartass remark when Roger gave you a wild look, cutting you off by diving straight back in for a open-mouthed kiss, his tongue expertly sliding into your mouth and tangling with yours for a moment before swirling around it. A small noise of pleased surprise emitted from the back of your throat, and Roger’s grip only got tighter on you in response.

After a minute or two of a hot and heavy makeout session to the background noise of T-Rex’s gritty glam rock sound, you felt Roger’s hands sneak under the back of your shirt, pushing it up as he went to unclasp a bra that he soon came to find out wasn’t there. “Ah, no bra? Very naughty,” he remarked, his voice breathy, but amused as he pulled away from the kiss for a moment, looking up at you with an undying smirk on his lips.

“You’re going to be one of those that narrates the entire thing, aren’t you?” you teased, pulling your shirt off over your head and tossing it to the side as Roger’s hands came up to rest on either side of your ribcage, his eyes darting between your breasts and your eyes as he shamelessly ogled at you.

“Wouldn’t have it any other way,” was his equally teasing reply, and you rolled your eyes playfully before starting to push his button up off, which he shrugged off and tossed in the same direction of your shirt. “Now,” he continued, wrapping your legs around his waist before skillfully flipping the two of you over – his hips pinned you to the bed immediately, and you almost gasped as you felt his clothed erection pressing against your thigh. “What d’you say we see if you’re consistent?” His large hands started to tug down your shorts, and he kneeled between your legs as he pulled them off, revealing – to no shock for either of you – that you were sans panties too. “Oh, Y/N,” he almost growled, watching fixedly as you spread your legs, now on full display for him.

“Spoiler: I am consistent.” He chuckled at your comment, only briefly, before he laid himself on his stomach, laying his cheek against the inside of your thigh before pressing a kiss there. This was followed by a series of kisses, each making you tingle with anticipation more and more, and by the time he’d worked his way up to your core, you were practically squirming.

Running your hand back into his hair, you gave it a gentle tug of encouragement as you watched him hook your legs up over his shoulders, giving you an impish grin. “Now don’t be too loud. Don’t want the neighbors to be calling in a noise complaint,” he murmured, and before you could quip something back his tongue was between your folds, licking a flat stripe up to your clit and making you gasp slightly at the sensation. Placing an open-mouthed kiss to your clit, he sucked just enough to make you shiver softly, your fingers curling up in his hair.

When you felt his left hand ghosting up the inside of your thigh, you giggled softly at the ticklish feeling it left behind, and he chuckled against your core, the vibration making you moan out his name in bliss. In moments, his fingers were in his mouth, briefly getting wetted down before he slid his index and middle finger into you, just testing the waters. But the feeling wasn’t enough, and you whined impatiently as he pumped his fingers in and out of you, his mouth leaving a small love bite on your thigh.

“More, Rog,” you urged, and you heard him make a pleasantly surprised noise before he inserted another finger, stretching you out more and making you hum in appreciation. “Fuck, yes, like that.”

He curled up his fingers as he moved his mouth back to your clit, sucking harder this time and sending all of your nerve endings into a frenzy as you moaned louder, not caring who heard. This man was a god to you right now, his fingers stimulating places you’d practically only heard about in legends. You thanked whatever gods there were that you’d let your common sense take a break on this one, because by the time Roger was crawling back up to hover over you, your face was flushed from pleasure. Splotches of red decorated your cheeks, contrasting with the blown-out pupils of your eyes, which watched him as he smirked down at you, maybe staring a bit too long.

“You going to fuck me or not?” you challenged, Roger laughing before crawling off the bed, easily pulling off his boxers and finally freeing his hard member once again. Openly staring, you realized you’d been correct in your observation that Roger was genuinely huge, and you could barely take your eyes off it as he grabbed a condom from his nightstand, crawling back on the bed as you sat up. He rolled the latex onto his cock slowly, eyeing you as you turned around and got on your hands and knees, peeking back over your shoulder at him and watching as he kneeled behind you, forcing his knee between your legs so he could spread them more. His broad hands came to a rest on your ass, giving the soft flesh a good squeeze before he looked up at you, thoroughly pleased with this whole situation.

“You sure you want to go through with this?” he asked, wrapping his hand around his cock and giving himself a few strokes as he ran the tip between your folds, eliciting something akin to a purr as he brushed up against your clit.

“Please, Roger,” you almost moaned, pressing your hips back eagerly and chewing on your lip. “Can’t just rile me up like this and then leave me hanging.”

“I mean, I could,” he taunted, pulling his hips back for a moment and sitting back on his heels as you whined in frustration, shooting him a nasty look over your shoulder. “I’m just joking, so impatient.” He clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth as he gave you a toothy grin, rising again and lining himself up before pushing into you, just barely. “You just look so pretty when you beg.”

“You bastard, fuck me already!” You didn’t care if you were being impatient – and to be honest, the thought of you needing him was enough to make him a bit dizzy, but he ignored the hazy edges of his vision as he thrusted into you with a tameless grunt, sliding home quite easily and making you cry out in a mixture of surprise and lust.

Thoughts of how sore you were going to be later edged into your mind, but they were quickly overwhelmed by a wave of pleasure as Roger wasted no time in starting to move his hips. Barely giving you time to adjust, he filled you over and over, making your arms wobble a bit as you moved down to rest on your elbows, barely able to support your own weight. Roger’s hands found purchase on your hips, pulling your ass flush back against him with each thrust, and he couldn’t help but groan your name as the sound of slapping skin filled the room and the smell of sex joined it.  

“Oh, Jesus,” you breathed out, gathering the sheets of his bed in your hands and clenching your fingers around them tightly as you let your eyes flutter shut, your eyelids feeling heavy from lust. Roger was the same, his eyelids threatening to close with every passing second as the view he currently had was phenomenal. Moving one hand to your shoulder to gain more purchase, he thrusted again and somehow buried himself at an even more satisfying angle as he leaned over your body, suddenly rolling his hips agonizingly slow. He then moved his other hand to your jaw, then letting it come to rest on your throat. He applied no pressure as he did so, just letting his hand rest on your skin, but the presence of it and the thought of what would happen if he were to just press in on the sides slightly enough to make you moan. “You’re so big, Rog.”

“Yeah?” he replied, his eyes lighting up as your praise swirled around in his mind, boosting his ego and reinvigorating his big mouth – he was never one for being quiet, anyways. “Taking my cock so well. You like that?” A nod from you confirmed his question, and he let out a satisfied grunt as he pulled out for a moment, flipping you over onto your back and running his fingertips down the bare skin of your stomach. He marveled at how this perspective was even better, getting so distracted by the view that he had to remind himself after a moment that you were waiting for him to continue. Pushing back into you with a quiet groan, his swollen lips parted slightly as erratic breaths came and went, a light layer of sweat making his bangs stick to his forehead in places. But he looked unbelievably attractive like this, the sight of him towering over you as he went back to work on you making you reach down to grab his hand, returning it to your throat.

He caught his lower lip between his teeth as he looked down at you, thrusting at an irregular pace as he struggled to stave off his orgasm, which was rapidly approaching. As desperately as he wanted to make you come undone first, everything about you was threatening to pull him over the edge. The way you closed your hand around his wrist, daring him to choke you, the fierce, almost feral look on your face as you gazed up at him. You weren’t afraid of getting what you wanted, and right now, you wanted him to fuck you until you were seeing stars.

His fingers started to press against the side of your neck as he relentlessly fucked into you, your eyes closing as you relished in the dizzy feeling that it brought to your approach to your orgasm. And Roger noticed this blissful look on your face, the sight of it too much to take as he mumbled, “God, sorry love, I might have to tap out early if you keep on looking like that.”

You were too wrapped up in your own ecstasy to care much that Roger was close, but you paid attention enough to tap on his wrist, after which he released the pressure he’d had on your arteries, and you opened your eyes to look up at him, smiling impishly. “Just let go, Rog. Don’t apologize.”

Those words reassured him and kept his hips moving as he reached up, sliding his fingers into your mouth. He groaned in approval as you wetted them down, and he reluctantly retracted them before reaching down to press them against your clit, rubbing it in time with his thrusts and making you moan out his name lowly. The sound of his name leaving your lips pulled him past the point of no return, and he came as he let out a loud groan, followed by a string of curses, his hips stuttering and pushing into you erratically as he rode out his high.

Panting as he came down from his orgasm, he kept his fingers pressed against your clit, applying more pressure and circling them faster as he still thrusted into you, albeit a lot slower. But it didn’t matter too much if he kept going, because you were soon calling out his name as you came too, your orgasm rocking your body to the core and causing waves of pleasure to consume you. 

Roger kept his fingers on your clit as you rode out your high, the already-sensitive nub in overdrive as he crooned softly to you throughout your orgasm, murmuring words of encouragement. When you were done, you finally collapsed back against the bed, exhausted from the mind-blowing, absolutely out of pocket sex you’d just had with your roommate. God, your roommate. Things were about to get real messy.

Roger pulled out of you slowly, making you feel incredibly empty as he left the bed and the room, disposing of the condom in the bathroom before coming back with a wet washcloth, cleaning you off as you watched him quietly, your chest rising and falling with each breath and heart racing as you attempted to catch said breath. When he was done, he tossed the washcloth God knows where before he pulled his boxers on and grabbed his shirt from the floor, handing it to you. You pulled it on gratefully, starting to button it from the bottom up as he finally came to rest next to you. He was about to speak when something in the doorway just past your head caught his eye, making his expression sour.

You turned your head to find Brian awkwardly filling the doorframe, his mouth slightly agape at the sight of you, pretty much fully naked except for the small expanse of skin on your tummy that the bottom two buttons on Roger’s shirt covered. “Oh shit,” was all you could say, and Roger quickly moved his duvet over your lower half as you tugged his shirt to at least cover up your breasts.

But Brian had already seen everything, so the attempt was futile. “Hey, Brian, mind telling me why the fuck you’re in my room right now?” Roger asked irritably, thoroughly annoyed that the tall, curly-headed man was just standing there, gawking.

Realizing that he was being a royal moron, Brian quickly composed himself, but his voice was lightly and apprehensive as he spoke. “Roger, may I have a brief word with you? Out here?”

“Brief?” Roger repeated incredulously, looking at you before sighing and crawling over you to get out of his bed. “I suppose you could, Bri, but I highly doubt it.” Brian turned after a terse nod in your direction, heading down the hallway, and Roger took the opportunity to turn in the doorway, watching as you crawled out of bed too, your ass peeking out from the bottom of his shirt when you turned for a moment to smooth out the duvet. Chewing on his lower lip, he grabbed your arm as you passed, stopping you in your tracks and making you face him.

“Bri’s waiting for you,” you warned, but he took no heed of your words, using the collar of his shirt on you to pull you in for a quick, searing kiss that left you reeling as he pulled away.

“Sorry, had to.” He quickly reached around you to pinch your ass, and you raised your eyebrow in response, trying not to smile as the devastatingly gorgeous roommate of yours sent you a cheeky smile to match his next words. “We’re not done here. Don’t get dressed quite yet.”

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[igneous]

b99 @ largo los angeles 7/23

what’s good fam! basically there were no photos/videos allowed at this event so i thought i’d share a general overview/some highlights of the night below :~)

official title: “Cast members of Brooklyn 99 - A fundraiser to fight against family separation! with musical guest: Freinklin” @ Largo at the Coronet

my mom and i were front and center! waiting two hours @ will call pays off lmao

chelsea strutted out first onstage (i fainted) and introduced the musical guest, saying that she found them when searching for her child’s first bday entertainment but realized it would be an insult to have them play for her child’s first bday

freinklin was bomb! one of them had a broken leg bc she “got hit by a car” as alleged by chelsea

the cast then all came out (title of ur sex tape lmao) and sat in order of andy, chelsea, melissa, stephanie, joe, terry, joel, dirk

sidenote but seeing terry crews in person is insane bc u know he has big muscles but like when my own two eyes landed on them i couldnt believe .... like... wow???

also everyone was out here lookin like a dime

anyways i fainted again

stephanie thanked us for being there and shared a little bit of her background as an immigrant

there was an empty seat next to andy which supposedly belonged to andre, who couldnt make it

they then preceded to roast andre through a series of letters “from him” that penned his support for trump

they did a table read of goof scripts chelsea wrote -- the first had the characters obsess over chelseaperetti.com with hilarious over-the-top versions of themselves and the second had them cuss every other word (highlight: boyle saying “biotch”)

invited series writer phil jackson on the stage for “feedback” on chelsea’s script and then he presented his own script that was prefaced as “a scene from the season six finale”

ofc everyone was freaking tf out until phil was like “alright pan to the bullpen. everyone sitting at their respect desks, sweating due to unbearable heat. we’re in the deep south. 1938.”

continues an absurd script where hitchcock ends up poisoning everyone and is also jake’s dad 

oh and everyone has southern accents

q&a time! someone asked who melissa would cast for amy’s 7 bros and she immediately said lin and proceeded w diego luna, javi muñoz, and more

my memory is failing me but i asked a q about any fun stories they had from comic con and andy said that on the bus ride back to los angeles, terry made the bus stop at in n out and actually said “terry’s hungry” in the third person (further proving that they all are their character)

lovely lovely comments about representation for latinas and the lgbtq+ community!!

someone asked what each actor wanted to see their character do in the future and chelsea basically mic dropped while saying “disband ICE”

after everyone basically bowed to her, chelsea was then like “now i want some white girls to say im their inspiration”

joe (in response to the q) said he wants to see boyle judge top chef

someone asked about favorite guest star and andy jokingly said “sterling k brown -- he’s emmy nominated” and mentioned sterling several times in light of his emmy snub (all in good fun ofc)

chelsea really had to pee for the last few questions and ran off the stage, saying “no one talk bad about me!”

joel told a really cute story about how he was born and raised in minnesota but always dreamed about living in brooklyn, eventually moved there w his wife and studied theater, and finally ended up in a show called brooklyn nine nine

some gal asked a q and then after they answered, she fangirled saying “i just wanna say that andy samberg has made eye contact with me twice” and then andy proceeded to lift his left hand and point to his wedding band and it was so cute and funny

sidenote i am 800% more attracted to andy after seeing him in person; didn’t know that was possible

again memory failing me but i will update if anything comes to mind

in summary: this cast is a gift from god … so wholesome …. so pure

if you made it all the way through my shifty writing, i applaud you

UPDATE 7/24: lmao i just remembered that the cast has a running set joke where bc they’re actors, they can’t end taping a scene, which is usually signifies by the director/crew “cut cut,” so when they’re tired and want a take to end, they pretend there’s a bird in the ceiling and yell “caw caw”

they said andre is the worst perpetrator of this and sometimes just flaps his arms by his side to pretend he’s a bird

someone asked what other show they would want their chara to be on aND ANDY SAID JAKE ON QUEER EYE

[wanna-17]

kim jaehwan first meeting! AU

warning: just in case if you might be uncomfortable or against religion,  i suggest not reading this as it has mentions 

summary: in which you meet the guy with the sweet voice and a crazy laugh at youth group 

length:  1.7k

a/n: i am back after 2 weeks i am so sorry...as you guys know i had finals for uni, that itself was stressful enough but then after my first exam i got really sick so i couldn’t bring myself to study or write or do anything so i’m really sorry. I FINALLY HAVE A SCENARIO FOR YOU GUYS YAY if you haven’t been to a youth group you can just imagine it as a social gathering where people play games and mingle but if you have i think we can all relate to wanting to meet the cute guy who plays guitar, sings and leads worship. its weird writing this bc im actually a youth leader HAHAHAH well this is something different to my other scenarios but i hope you guys enjoy it :) 

so you’re a high school student and your church has recently had some issues so your family has been looking for a new church to join

so for the past month, you’ve literally been church hopping checking out different youth groups 

and it was just hard to find one where you felt welcomed and really enjoyed it 

so here you were, another friday comes around

and your parents have recently started going to a church saying that the service is really good so they encouraged you to check out the youth group which was on friday nights 

and so you do 

you’re in front of a surprising really modern looking church building 

you took a deep breath and headed in nervously 

you wandered around as it was pretty big inside and finally found the big hall where the youth group was to take place

when you entered you were greeted with loads of loud noise and energy and fairlylights decorated aestheticaly all over the hall

at the front of the room you could also see really professional looking experiments and you thought that the worship here would be really good

the room was also slightly dim creating a nice atmosphere

you were greeted by 3 youth leaders who had a welcome desk set up 

they had name tags on; seongwoo, minhyun and sejeong 

they all stood up and smiled brightly at you

“hello!!! welcome to our youth group!!!” said the girl named sejeong 

“hi uh this is my first time here” you replied nervously

“thats so great we’re so happy you can join us!!” said seongwoo 

“thanks” you replied as you started to be more comfortable around them as they were super friendly and welcoming 

you made some small talk with the three youth leaders and you were surprised at how easygoing and chill they were as most of the past youth leaders you’d encountered weren’t as laidback and harder to talk to 

they gave you a name tag to stick on your sweater and asked what grade you were in 

you told them and they called over the other girls that were in your grade

they came over and were also really nice 

you learned that their names were yoojung, somi, chungha and doyeon 

yoojung and doyeon were from the same school and were  good friends 

somi also recently started coming to the youth group and chungha was introduced by doyeon

they were super lovely and you chatted with them and got to know them before the night officially began 

the girls also pointed out which guys were in your grade 

“there aren’t really any cute guys but they’re all really nice” said chungha as she pointed at a group of guys on the other side of the room 

you weren’t that interested in boys atm so you were like meh 

“oh jaehwan’s the cutest out of all the guys in our grade but he’s a little crazy” said somi

somi looked over at the group of boys “he’s not here yet he’s always running late” 

you didn’t take much notice of what your new friends were saying about jaehwan as you were more focused on settling in 

so the youth group night officially began with prayer etc. etc. 

“ah jaehwan you’re late again” said minhyun who was the youth leader that was the mc

everyone burst into laughter and you turned around catching sight of a boy dumping his stuff at the back of the hall and you could only see his back view

you shrugged and focused to the front 

“ok we’re going to play a game called the chair game..” said minhyun 

you’d played it before so you were excited (basically its a game where everyone has a chair and its in a circle, the person in the middle doesn't have a chair and they have to say a statement e.g. “move if you have been overseas” and then everyone that has been overseas would have  to move to another chair and the last person remaining would be in the middle and it continues by them saying another statement) idk if that makes sense feel free to message me if u didn’t get it and i’ll explain it more coherently lmao

the game started and it was pretty basic and fun and not too crazy 

until.......

someone in the middle was like “move if you are wearing a jacket” 

you were only wearing a sweater so you didn’t have to move but it was hilarious 

bc 10 or so ppl were fighting for seats and when there were only 2 boys left fighting for one chair 

they both rushed to it and one of them started laughing like a psychopath and his laugh echoed throughout the hall as he ran and tried to fight for the chair 

you laughed along as you watched the poor boy with the crazy laugh determined to fight for the last seat 

unfortuately he missed out and fell to the ground as the other boy claimed the seat in victory 

you expected the crazy laughing boy to be pissed off or slightly annoyed but instead he had the brightest smile on his face while still laughing his head off 

“that was a good one sewoon, i admit defeat” said the boy cheekily 

you suddenly had newfound admiration for his sportsmanship and attitude 

“that’s jaehwan,” whispered somi who was next to you 

and when you looked at him, he definitely was a little bit cute 

just as you were eyeing him (well everyone was as he was in the middle) he noticed you and made eye contact with you while smiling cheekily 

“ok hmmmm....move if this is your first time at our youth group” said jaehwan 

you quickly stood up trying to find a chair but you realised you were the only person that was new and jaehwan had sprinted to your chair claiming it as his 

he smiled cheekily at you again and even though you were embarrassed his smile was actually really cute 

so now you were standing in the middle trying to think of a statement 

“WOOOOHOOOOO” cheered jaehwan “WELCOMEEEEEE” he said screamed in a high pitched voice 

everyone else laughed and clapped encouraging you to not be shy and you eventually thought of something and the game went on 

after several more rounds the game ended and it was time for the bible talk 

you were a little distracted as you wondered why jaehwan had singled you out but in reality he just wanted to welcome you and make you more comfortable

plus at youth group he was known for being friends with everyone and taking care of the younger ones too 

the talk was really good and encouraging and you learnt from it 

compared to the other youth groups you’d checked out this was definitely had a great atmosphere and you were able to learn as well 

then it was discussion groups

and then worship 

before issues started arising at your old church you were actually on the worship team and played piano so you curious as to how this church’s worship team was like as the instruments at the front looked quite pricey

minhyun asked the band to come up and you noticed someone familiar go up....jaehwan??

“is that jaehwan?” you whispered to yoojung who was sitting next to you

she nodded, “yeah, he also has a really nice voice” 

you nodded in curiousity as you eyed him go to the centre and take his guitar while standing in front of the microphone

the girl on the piano started and then jaehwan started to sing

and you were blown away 

mostly because was this crazy loud guy with a psychopathic laugh really the same guy that had a voice like an angels?????????

his voice was so pure and beautiful and natural and you happily sang along 

his voice was passionate and you could tell every word he sang he meant it with his heart 

you were so mesmerised by his voice that you didn’t even realise the song ended already 

you didn’t get to talk to jaehwan until youth group ended

it was when your parents came to pick you up and they were talking with another couple

you approached them and the couple started talking to you and asking you how you found it 

they were mr and mrs kim

“oh btw have you met our son?” asked mrs kim 

just as you were about to reply mr kim waved his hands 

“JAEHWAN HERE” 

you were shook bc the ppl your parents were talking to were jaehwan’s parents 

you looked over and jaehwan was pouncing over with a backpack put on at the front and his guitar case swung over his shoulder on his bag y’all pause and take a moment to picture this HOW cUTE WOULD HE BE O M G

he looked like an adorable muffin and you couldn’t help but lowkey fawn over how squishy and cute he looked

“jaehwan have you met y/n? this is her first time here” said mrs kim 

“not exactly” replied jaehwan and he turned to you smiling “hey i’m jaehwan nice to meet you” 

he offered his hand to shake and it was funny bc he had his bag stuck to his chest lmao this boy 

you gladly shook his hand and told him your name

the parents continued talking so you guys continued to talk

“by the way sorry if i made you feel a little uncomfortable during the game” said jaehwan

“nah its fine i enjoyed it” you replied which was true 

“thats good to hear! i just wanted to make you feel welcome we haven’t had a new person in a while so it’s really refreshing and encouraging that you came” said jaehwan

you were honestly touched at his words

“thanks that did help! by the way you were really great at singing and playing the guitar” you complimented him

and you guys started talking about both your fave ccm songs and he learnt that you could play piano too 

he made you promise to show him you playing the piano next time 

you guys talked for a while and it was super comfortable 

sooner than you hoped the parents said it was time to go home 

“oh y/n the kims actually only live two blocks away from us so from now on we’ll be taking turns sending you two to youth group” said your mum 

you and jaehwan smiled in response

you were happy bc that meant more time to get to know jaehwan 

“bye y/n see you next week!!!!” said jaehwan

“see you jaehwan!!!!” 

you knew you definitely wanted to stay at this youth group ^^ 

hope you guys enjoyed this !!  3 more to go get keen 

other members: daehwi (x), sungwon (x), woojin (x), guanlin (x), jisung (x), jinyoung (x), daniel (x) 

masterlist: (x)