#he did a manipedi on her

[larrysballetslippers]

I just spent the last 15 minutes looking at a dad being so great for his daughter. First of all, ouch, but also my ovaries...

[minispidey]

01: Barbie and the Giftshopist.

Steven Grant x f!bimbo!reader. series masterlist. next part.

01. This Barbie is his new neighbor!

warnings: uses y/n once, get ready for kinda cringey bimbor!reader. over-use of the word like. extremely feminine reader. reference to elle woods. NOT BETA READ.

"Yeah, but like, I totes believe her. I mean she's totes being framed. I wanna help her." as Steven got off of the lift, he sees multiple boxes out in the hallway and hears a woman's voice talking to someone.

You walk out of the flat in front of his to push in the rest of your things. You were wearing something someone moving in shouldn't be wearing: a pink lace top, flared pink pants and cute high heels. You had a purse and everything.

"I need an alibi from her. Like, she can't just like go to jail for something she didn't do. That's a crime itself." you held your phone in between your shoulder and ear "I'm totally bugging. Where's a good manipedi here?"

"Uh, I think there's a salon across from the baker around the corner?" Steven spoke up from behind you.

You turn to face him, blinking twice "I'll call you back. I'll see you at the office." you end your call and smiled at him "Thanks so much. My nails have suffered too much this past week. Oh, we're neighbors!"

"It seems like we are."

"I'm Y/N. It's so nice to meet you." you two shake hands "I'm like, really struggling with these boxes. And I know I'd be like super desperate, but I am, but can you help me, please?" you smiled brightly, even batting your long eyelashes.

"Oh, uh, yes, absolutely." he said, taking a couple of the boxes from the hallway.

You kept kicking some of the boxes in with your pink high heels, clearly impatient and trying to push them all in. Steven halts your actions by picking them up and setting them down inside.

"You gotta uh, carry the boxes inside. They get stuck when you just push them." entering your flat, he placed more boxes down. He could see your walls were already painted a different color: pink. Steven was surprised to see such a bold choice of color, but he could already tell by your outfit what kind of woman you were.

A woman with great fashion-sense.

You were beautiful. Something about you was just so alluring, so hypnotic. He couldn't even believe a beautiful woman like you was talking to him, let alone letting him enter your flat. But he did notice you were a bit of a ditz.

"Do you need any help with anything else?" Steven asked, turning around as he spoke. His ears were slightly red because of the way you looked at him.

"That's all. Thanks so much." you smiled "I just moved here, and like, still adjusting."

"It's not a problem at all. If you need anything, don't be shy. I'm just in front."

"That's so nice of you! Totes, I'd definitely need some help. Oh shoot, I never got your name."

"It's fine. I-It's Steven."

"It's so nice to meet you, Steven."

His eyes shifted to the racks filled with clothes. Pink, to be exact. You were extremely feminine. He spots furs and his brows furrow a bit "Er... uh..."

"They're faux fur. Can't tell the difference anymore." you giggled, wheeling them to a corner with the rest of your clothes.

"Oh. Well, they're very nice." Steven smiled "Are you a model?"

"Gosh, that's such a compliment. No one's ever said that before. But no, just love clothes. How about you? Wait wait! Let me guess..."

Steven found it adorable as you squint your eyes, thinking of what his job is.

"Are you like... a sculptor? No, a painter! Am I close?"

"I work at a gift-shop, actually. A giftshopist." he smiled.

"No way. You have really pretty hands, you could be like a hand model. Or like I said, a painter."

Steven blushed like a mad man "Thank you. No one's ever complimented my hands."

"You're pretty handsome, you know? It's like... gosh you have a nice nose too." the way you complimented him was as if he was a sculpture.

Steven's heart almost stopped when you casually mentioned how handsome he was. You were incredibly blunt about it for someone he had just met.

"Thank you." he said, his cheeks turning a shade of pink. Something about you saying it that make his body feel all warm. It's such a strange and unusual feeling for him.

"No, but like seriously. You are so handsome. It's like driving me a bit cray, you get it, right? Gosh, I sound like a total creep."

Hearing the same thing two times in a row sent him into quite a little flutter. He had never been one to be flirted with and the combination of how direct you were, plus how much you were repeating yourself certainly made him feel something.

"No, it's fine. No, you don't sound like creep, it's totally fine." he looks back up at you "I'm just... I'm not used to... it."

"Used to what? Being called handsome?"

"Yeah." Steven chuckled, the sound escaping his mouth in such a high pitched and nervous way that it sounded almost like a squeak "And uh, being flirted with..."

Your phone suddenly rings, making you two jump up. You take your phone out, looking at the caller ID "So sorry. I gotta take this."

"Oh, no worries." he clears his throat, taking the opportunity to collect his thoughts and calm his racing heart and mind.

"I, uh, I should go now." he says "I'll see you around, luv."

"I'll see you around, Steven." you gave him a smile before answering your phone, pacing back and fourth across your flat.

As Steven enters his flat, his heart calms down but his cheeks were still red. His eyes shifted towards a mirror, a clearly judging Marc staring right back at him.

"So. You like her?"

"Oh come on, Marc. I just met her."

That evening, Steven heard a knock outside his door. His ears were perked up as he approached the door, opening it to find you in your cute animal print night dress and holding a casserole dish "Okay, so like, I got called in to the office earlier and I never got to properly thank you."

"It's not big deal, luv." he blushed "They're just boxes."

"And really heavy ones. You are like, super strong. Plus I finally got my manipedi." you giggled "I made lasagna in the office but I got leftovers, do you wanna split?"

"Uh... actually I'm vegan."

"Oh gosh, I'm like so sorry. That explains the fur thing!"

"Yeah." he nods "It's alright, luv. I don't wear a big ol sign saying I'm vegan."

"Well... I was just hoping we could hangout because you seem like a really nice guy. I mostly bond with food."

"It's alright, uh..." Steven looks behind him, looking if his place was presentable "If you want, you can eat it here while we chat? Maybe a cup of tea? I've stepped inside your flat, might as well welcome you into mine."

"Really? That's so nice of you! I swear, when I get my stove and oven I'll make you something vegan."

"You really don't have to. I assure you, it's alright."

"Don't worry! I can cook."

Ever since that day, Steven is ecstatic to wake up everyday and greet you in the morning as you both went off to work.

Your clothes were always consistent with the pinks and whites, but you always looked professional as you head off to work.

Steven began to guess what your profession was. You said you weren't a model, perhaps a designer? A professor?

He snapped out of his thoughts when you placed a plate of fried tofu with some sauce over it and spring onions.

"Stevie, do you know where I could like, donate books? Mine are sooo expensive but someone might want to use them." you asked as you cleaned up your countertop.

"Yeah, why?"

"Okay so like, Jean, he's like a newbie, he totally bugged me. Brags that he loves to donate his stuff. He once donated a canoe. He says like he was a hoarder back then. I thought to myself, am I hoarding?" you spin, facing Steven "I totally am! I have books I won't need anymore and I don't have bookshelves anyways."

"I have spots in my bookcase. Maybe I could take them off your hands?" Steven looks up at you with a smile "I don't mind. They have sentimental value?"

"Very. Plus, they were soooo expensive I swear. I could've bought like fifteen more pairs of heels if I hadn't bought them. Or maybe just a pair of Choos."

"What kind of books are they exactly?"

"Law."

"Law?"

"Law." you clear your throat, lifting your arm and bending your wrist in a dramatic way "I'm a lawyer, obvi."

Steven was slightly taken aback by the news. He certainly wouldn't have guessed that right "You're a-a lawyer? Oh, wow, that's super impressive. Wait, how are you dressed the way you are if you're a lawyer? Don't they make you wear suits and stuff?"

"Duhh, I wear pink ones! You see me wear them to work every morning." you smiled "I have a lot."

Steven's truly never met a woman like you.

"You're incredible..."

[messycunt]

So like…Vil’s one of the most popular show cows, right? And thus the farm would do anything to keep him happy. So, what if he was assigned a handler who could not give less a shit about his status. They call him “your highness” sarcastically and just scoff when he makes an unreasonable request.

So, he asks the farm owner for a bed warmer during his heat (is that what it’s called? I forgot I’m sorry) and he wants his handler. The handler is offered a lot of money for the job, so much it’d be stupid to turn it down.

Vil always gets what he wants, he’s the farm’s star after all!

hcs + a blurb, not proof read

cw: afab reader, male lactation, hybrids(hucows), dubcon(Vil is an entitled lil prick ok i made him extra bitchy)

With a silky blond hide, gorgeous ivory horns, and a face card that never declines, Vil is the shit and he knows it. Everyone else does too if he has anything to say about it. Well everyone but you.

The fact that his presents didn’t leave you completely star struck upon your first meeting irked him more than he’d like to admit.

If not for his beauty he usually receives positive recognition for how much work he puts into maintaining it but you couldn’t care less. If anything you see him as boujee and stuck up, not admirable and hard working.

You irritate him beyond belief but he truly is unreasonable for the most part.

The look he gives you when you roll your eyes at his request to have you personally prepare his meals instead of eating the same as everyone else or to tailor the outfits prepared for him by Crewel yourself rather than just sending them back could kill a man. Still, you remain unphased. 

He wakes up at 5:30 sharp every morning and has a skin care routine with more steps than any dance routine he’d ever be expected to pull off. It's all so.. exhausting. 

He has won so many blue ribbons that he’s lost count you know? And his father was an international show bull too? The fairs he’s featured in wouldn't be half as lucrative without his name attached -or so he says- so the least you could do is put in some effort to help him stay on track with his personalized diet.

At first you were surprised to learn that Vil does any physical work at all let alone regularly but as you come to know him it makes sense. 

He’s not lazy- far from it actually. His insistence on stressing you to your wits end and then some is some kind of sick power game to him you reason. 

Still you remain unphased.

Helping him wash and dye his hair and the end of his tail is one thing but giving him a full manipedi every other day is much too much.

Milking him is practically a nightmare.

He bitches about you handling him too rough or the suction being too high when the machine is barely sucking faster than the milk is flowing out.

Insistent on using the main house bathrooms and showers, despite having his own personal one in his room, Vil will snap at anyone who questions him about it.

Oh what joy was hearing the news that your beloved “special princess”, as you liked to teasingly call him, had gone into rut.

This meant not only that you would both be blessed with a much needed break from each other but also that maybe just maybe getting laid would help him loosen up some. 

Too bad you only got a few hours into your first day off before receiving a call from a certain black haired man urging you to come back to the main house to hold up your end of a deal you simply could not refuse.

Vil looked a hot mess.

The heady smell of warm vanilla and some expensive cologne he loved to wear and you never remembered the name of smacked you in the face the second you stepped foot in your room. Having already set your things down you made your way to your bed, pulling your top over your head and plopping down on the corner next to his head.

 “Awwww did her highness decide to grace her lowly servant with her presence today? I’m surprised you didn’t bring your little boyfriend with you.” up close he looked more pathetic than you anticipated. Hair undone and sticking to the clammy skin of his shoulders, back and forehead. A defeated look on his face all wrapped up in one of your bed covers. 

“‘M not up for your teasing, not today. Did that old crow relay my message or do I have to tell you myself?” he chided. Words coming out slurred and jumbled as if he had drool pooled inside of his mouth. 

“Yeah yeah ‘In return for your services you will receive 50% of the next month and a half’s show and exhibit earnings! Aren't I a generous employer!?’ or somethin’ like that” Looking up at you with glazed over eyes and a straight flushed face he seemed unimpressed by your Crowley impression. 

“Good. You won’t mind this then” A sound akin to that of a startled puppy left you as Vil dragged you under his body still covered by one of your favorite blankets. This isn’t the first and probably wouldn’t be the last time he took it upon himself to manhandle you. Still you remain unphased. You squint a few times to let your eyes adjust to the light blaring down on the both of you. “You know from this angle, and without all that makeup you don’t look half bad.” you snickered before pulling your features into a more stern look. “Now get offa me” 

Wiggling in an attempt to sit up only pulled the two of you closer than you’d deem comfortable. “Ough gross. Please tell me you weren't laying up under my sheets ass naked the whole time I was gone??? Vil I swear the second this whatever you’re going through wears off I-” A pristinely polished thumb hooked into your mouth. Sitting up some his other hand reached down to pull down at your shorts. “You agreed to this, yes? So stop being a pain and let me get it over with”

Having discarded your bottoms he pulled the thumb that was sitting inside of your mouth away to unceremoniously shove inside of your cunt. “Tight and inviting, surprising. I was almost certain a whore like you would have made her way around the block a few times and then some” his words stung but not enough for you to let it show. “Trying so hard to look unbothered. It’s cute but I advise you to quit it.” Easing his thumb out of you to push and roll against your clit he lined up his head against you. ”Unless you want to make this harder for the both of us”

Feeling an inch or two ease its way into you made you tense. Vil dropped his face back down closer to yours, close enough for you to taste his breath. “I’ll be soft and sweet with you this time, but I have full intentions of breeding and breaking you until you can think of nothing but me.”

You’re going to kill Crowley. 

12.4.22 - more

[kens-ramblings]

i think jason would be a big time girl dad. like i’m talkin let’s his little girl get away with anything at any age. when she’s little he would let her do make up on him and paint his nails and he would rock in public 0 embarrassment. when she’s older they go to the nail salon and get manipedis together somewhat frequently. she gets basically anything she asks for(within reason). if she gets in trouble at school he is there in 0.5 seconds and ready to make sure the punishment is exactly fair. like if she’s being blamed for something she either didn’t do or had every right to do(ex.: reacting to someone repetitively provoking her, someone touching her w/o consent) he’s in the principals face threatening to get lawyers but if she did do something that deserves punishment he’s pushing for dealing the discipline at home because he knows he will deal fair punishment and he trusts no one with his babygirl. he started teaching her self defense pretty much as soon as she could say that she was cool with it. and bc he knows his family is the way they are, he knows that she will become a vigilante eventually. he puts strict rules on it, she starts serious training when she’s like 13 and is only allowed to start joining him to patrol when she is 18. can go on her own after a year of being a team but he is still always in her ear on comms so he is able to make it if she needs anything.

basically he just gives me (over protective) girl dad vibes and i felt like talking about it.

[intcritus]

she's flopped over koji with her arms wrapped around him tightly, clinging to him. she doesn't want to let go, not until he promises to let her paint his nails. "i'll paint them any color, whatever you want. lemme do it~"

❝ ━ the last time you tried, it got all over my hands, nina. ❞ koji was just being dramatic honestly, he wouldn't even mind if she did, because he rather liked wearing polish whenever the mood struck him. and if nina wanted to paint his nails some new color she found, well, who was he to not oblige her ? turning his attenton back to his cat video, koji hums softly, not really minding how she clung to him. one thing he knew about himself, he did crave contact, and nina was always in his space and he was grateful that he didn't have to request it. ❝ ━ how about we come to a compromise: you show me the color first and i might say yes. or, i pay for us to get manipedis for the day ? ❞

[attourney-at-lycan]

O_O

Tell me more about Nerine. right now

i think that’s really all i had? i made him up last night w/ a friend but i’ll probably just ramble other facts abt him on the spot or anything i can remember-

RIGHT- bc he used to live in o’khasis, it baffles him how lady aphmau can walk around a village. how can she lower herself? the leader of a village (albeit……. small and run down) run around doing errands for her? why aren’t the villagers running errands for her? this lady aphmau is extremely strange.

but wait till he hears that she was randomly appointed the lord despite not even being around for a year, not know who she is and appearing in the woods out of nowhere

OH RIGHT HE’S A MEIF’WA AND THIS IS A PICREW I MADE OF HIM

he’s such a haughty little fucking shit im so sorry i love insulting him he deserves it

as a meif’wa, he’s very vain about his fur, and he will force someone to go out of the village to buy his favorite “fur-care” materials and will need to get manipedi’s every week- he’ll force garroth and zenix to do the same because their nails look horrific, zenix bites them 90% of the time and garroth… garroth doesn’t even shower on the regular

and did i mention he has to live with them? in the guard tower? in a makeshift room out of jail cell?? this is how they treat their injured patients and nerine is not having it.

this is what i mean nerine is a pain in the ass, 99% of the words that come out if his mouth is a complaint about how horrible his injuries feel or anything about phoenix drop.

here’s some screenshots from yesterday btw

i love making asshole ocs and then making them slowly sort of change for the better but still keeping their assholeness. it’s also much more fun to give them angst. like cmon, nerine was pampered by his family since day one, although he’s still acting entitled and angry and prideful he’s just refusing to show any other emotion bc it’s weak! he’s so sure his family will come and find him so whats the point of feeling sad about yknow?

anyway if anyone has any more questions.. on my kness pls i develop my ocs sm better when i talk abt them to others

[thebadtimewolf]

anyway

everyone complaining about matt murdock/daredevil as soon as they got him still acting like himself despite being the camro guest instead of ususlly being the other way around (ITS HIS FIRST CAMEO/GUEST STARRING IN ANOTHER SHOW BE NICE):

he's still as himself in daredevil, this is just a vacay day for him

like yall saw how kingpin appeared in hawkeye and now daredevil.

i fully expect frank castle just drinking those little drinks with rainbow umbrellas, kicked back in swimtrunks, hair curled because he just went swimming and wearing those shades that have the little palm trees on the side in the next marvel show.

this is their little vacay time - as a little treat. a little manipedi time with how they see fit.

Kingpin wearing hawaiian shirts - Kingpin on Vacay

Matt taking a 5 hr plane ALL THE WAY TO LOS ANGELES then possibly an 2hrs because the driver did get lost JUST FOR (on his end) 30 MINUTE PRO BONO TRIAL FOR HIS NEW TAILOR (i wanna know how melvin potter doing later, maybe this is his vacay time too!) And then basically asked for a normal date, got a mission date and left happily barefoot because he was still masked? - Daredevil/Matt on Vacay

we'll get them all toxic masculinity-therapy avoiding-hospital bill racking-sameoldgritty weh weh later but, for now: let them have their little spa day.

As a treat.

Their god knows they are gonna need it for what will annhilate them later.

"oh they massacred my boy daredevil/matt" listen he's been trying to massacre himself for three seasons and failed every single time. if you think his guest appearence in she hulk and jen courting him and him courting her (or are we forgetting karen and claire and electra) is massacring him, i think matt deserves to have one "self-massacre" win without much internal damage to his ribs and legs and arms and senses.

Because its starting feel less like yall want daredevil back and more like "catered ableism for seeing him getting beat up all the time and if he can get beat up back to back then SURELY I CAN SELF PROJECT MY STONG BOY VIEWS on him because ew happiness and cooties??? ewwww" instead of having the most normal happiest day of his life i have ever witnessed with matt. And I MEAN A FULL DAY NIGHT NOON AND DAY. NOT oh it was good night, oh it was a cute brunch, oh he joked and sassed a little bit and then we went back to NO!

in fact the times with jen and matt in comics are usually happy like this [comic 616 is not tv/film 199999 but both generate the same feeling for platonic friendship and in this case romcom vigilantism]

so i dont know what comics YOU been reading but this? this is it.

i hope jen pop up in LUKE CAGE AND I HOPE SHE POP UP IN JESSICA JONES AND IRON FIST AND PUNISHER BECAUSE ALL OF EM NEED THIS KIND OF DAY you know they need that kind of day. we all saw the same exact shows. they need this vacay day.

the fact that like jessica jones, jen is being target on a psychological level than physical and also WE CAN SEE WELL LIT

- ALSO JESSICA AND JEN BOTH HAD OTHER DAREDEVIL VILLAINS IN THEIR SHOWS BUT NOT MATT (kilgrave for jessica, leap-frog for jen albeit his son taking on the moniker for good JUST LIKE IN THE COMICS) -

FACES AT NIGHT AND FACIAL EXPRESSIONS if it does become ugh i cant see the scene there is NO LIGHT SOURCE GRITTY THAT YALL ARE ASKING FOR then absolutely none of the mcu as a whole is worth watching for you. if you want action movies, we got a whole plethora of them enough to have an grit action-hallmark christmas movie marathon, go over there and stay there.

[mypimpademia]

Valentines Day HC's

Taishiro (fatgum) x black!reader, Bokuto x black!reader, Levi x black!reader

TW: Swearing

Note: I'm late w this bc I procrastinate but I hope yall like this💖

Yall are in quarantine for taishiros bc I thought it'd be a nice lil spin. And a modern au for Levi

I dont claim any pictures used! The pictures belong to the original posters

Thank you to @photosbyameil (aka thee bokuto expert) for helping be on bokutos part💖

TAISHIRO.

You will have the absolute sweetest valentines day ever, literally and figuratively

Hes gonna go all out (as much as he can at least, considering you're in quarantine)

You do a gift swap make little baskets for each other🥺

Full of candy, snacks, gift cards, and other little trinkets

You made them be each other favorite colors too

Yours for Tai would be something like this:

He'd eat every edible thing in the box in a heart beat, and that's how you know he's appreciative of it

His for you would be something like these (more tailored to your liking and in your favorite color if you dont like these of course):

And if you like to get your hair and nails done he'll throw in some packs of braiding hair, crochets, wigs or whatever you do, with some cash

You'd make a nice lil dinner together, consisting of both of your favorite foods and lots of soul food too (you got him hooked)

All of it would be homemade, Taishiro most likely knows how to cook really well considering how much he eats so he would love to make anything with you

You make a huge dinner together, one that will leave you with weeks of leftovers

After dinner, Taishiro runs a nice bath for the both of you (or just you if you dont like that)

Dim lights, candles, bubbles in the bath, rose petals, soft towels and robes, and champagne (or something different if you dont drink champagne)

If you get in together, it's gonna be so soft and one of the most vulnerable moments in your relationship

Holding each other, soft kisses, and Tai will absolutely confess his love for you all over again

If you prefer being in the tub alone, he'll leave you a cute little love note to read while you're in there and go set up a movie

When you get out of the tub and put on some comfy pajamas, you start up a movie together

For dessert you eat your gift baskets together (and lowkey steal from each others)

You eventually crash on the couch, you knock out first because Tais use to staying up from late night patrols

He realizes you forgot your bonet/scarf so he carries you to the room and puts it on for you :)

The next day his final gift to you is doing your hair, because he can do hair and you cant change my mind <3

"Happy Valentines Day, gumdrop."

BOKUTO.

Hes just the sweetest ball of energy

He makes everything a surprise

Koutaro is probably an early riser, and always wakes up way before you

So you wake up and hes already got a bunch of surprises for you

A giant gift basket full of heart shaped candy boxes, snacks, and a bunch of hair products

And im talkin oils, masks, treatments, shampoos, conditioners, brushes, everything

He got you a cute lil outfit too

When you put it on he just gushes about how good you look in it

Kou takes you to get your hair and nails done (we're gonna act like both of these take no time at all for the sake of this fic)

Then he takes you to get couples manipedis with him, and then a couples massage

Once you finally get back home, Koutaro offers to cook for the both of you

Just the thought of it puts you in distress, because that boy is a mess in the kitchen

But his enthusiasm is what convinces you

Until you smell burning

You end up having to run in the kitchen before he sets it on fire

You teach him how to make all kinds of soul food

For dessert yall probably eat banana pudding or cheesecake for dessert

By the end you end up realizing almost everything you did today was for you, and nothing for him, and wound up feeling really bad, but he says he doesn't want anything

"All I need is you, my baby owl. Happy Valentines Day!"

LEVI.

The most perfect Valentines day ever

He plans everything out to the last detail with not a single mistake

He does your hair for you the day before (he can do any kind of hair, not taking any other opinions)

And takes you to get your nails done too

Buys you some nice clothes that you just assume are for different activities he has planned

But you dont even try guessing, because when levi surprises you, you never know what to expect

Now Levi isn't much of a romantic, but he tries

He probably had to look some stuff up to make this valentines day extra special

When you wake up, he gives you breakfast in bed with a nice cup of tea

And he gives you a cute heart shaped box of candy

After you finish breakfast together, he gives you your next gift

It's a pretty gift basket, wrapped up nicely

It's filled with candy, tiny little trinkets, and hair products

A supply of your usual products, plus those expensive ones you always wanted to try

Later that day, he tells you to put on one of the outfits he bought you

It was just a casual one, something you'd wear out if you were gonna be out for awhile, but not to anywhere special

He takes you to a cute lil Cafe for lunch

It's one of those really aesthetic ones but the food actually tastes as good as it looks

When you get back home from lunch, he'll give you a cute necklace with his name on it

For dinner, he makes you put on another outfit that's much nicer

And he takes you to and fancy restaurant and gets you dinner

When you get home, he tops it off with a nice bath with rose petals, essential oils, candles and all

Quick PSA: Don't go through his search history, he looked everything up because again, damn near emotionally numb and clueless on romance <3

"Happy Valentines Day, Love."

Taglist: @myhoodacademia @katsuflossy @iiminibattlehero @ecao @nnnoya @hawklmaoo @strawberry-ice @mixijima @wolfkid22 @mythiccheroacademia @myfandemons @lilsparkyswife @her-majesty-kiara @mindofess @kqtsukisgf @lalayy @1-800-s1mping

[lee-scribbles-and-doodles]

S3 ep4

LEEEEETS GOOO!

Girl Stinky fighting Grandpa for Sal's honor 😍

So many Sams😲

Can the narrator pls shut up

"After they yanked it away they turned their attention on us." "actually I think they were more interested in me."

"Looks like it's time to boil the haggis" I love u Grandpa Stinky

"Need any help?" "No, I've been dreaming of this for years." *Continues to shoot Sam clones*

Skunkape loosing his mind

Oh geez, the dogglegangers kidnapped him

Girl Stinky still denying her obvious relationship with Sal

Oh hey I can make toast... Never mind then 😕

"Ah, I remember when I was a toaster."

Max and Grandpa are having a little too much fun shooting the clones

Why does Stinky have a picture of the DeSoto???

Well, the plan to turn into the DeSoto failed

I really didn't need to read minds to figure out how to get out, but I guess it was a good way to remind players of the tunnel

"Max is so powerful now... Soon he won't even need a partner."

Ew, Grandpa wants to sell clone meat 🤢

Sam struggling to not eat a fudgcicle is super relatable

Oh the tunnel is blocked. Knowing Girl she probably has a backup

I knew it.

"Happiness is a warm gun." "My gun is always warm... and a little bit moist." WHAT

*Gives clone a peanut butter ball* "Ew. It has peanut butter dog mouth. I hate when I do that."

Haha I made Sam eat a peanut butter ball now he's doing that dog lip smack thing

Oh hey, we can take a fudgcicle now. ...Oh, I know what to do!

Presidential Alert: The Stinky's are fighting!

Why does Girl Stinky's tunnel lead to a cloning facility?

The clone Sam approves of Sam's outfit

He stole Sam's hat!!!

"That's strange." yeah, you think!?

"--unholy army of sexually provocative Sam clones" What you just call them Max 👀

Cthulu tenticles!!!

They have spikes

"I'm thinking of a number between--" "Potato!" "That's uncanny."

Sam

"Momma sure does love a nicely turned Sam gam."

This episode is quickly turning into Max repeatedly saying how hot he thinks Sam is 👀

I guess let's explore the tunnels

Ooh the museum

Doctor Norrington? We get to meet him?

Nope :(

When they jumped back into the tunnels Max raised his hands up and Sam picked him up 😭😭😭🥰🥰🥰

Back through the tunnels

The shadow physics are all messed up

Boscotech!

Harry and Superball are trying to contact Momma. Can she not appear anymore?

Queen? Where are you?

"Keep your eyes peeled, Max." "Ugh, that's disgusting, Sam."

"What do you know about these scary--" "But dashing!" "--toy stealing Sam clones." oh max

"So you don't know where Momma Bosco is?" Sam says with a huge sad face

Superball my love

Max smokes Cuban cigars

"Yes sir, quite the coinkydink."

"I'm going to stand over here and try to shake off the memory of you saying balliwick." *,Literally stands in corner shaking his arms side to side* Max. I love you

*Harry insults Sam* *Max jumps to his defence*

"I'm afraid the contents on my mind is classified, sirs."

I'm going to find Sal

The hat thief stole the car!!!

Buster Blaster!!!

"Max." "that's what they call me at the manipedi." The boys get manicurs

I can't get to Sal or Buster Blaster because of the clones :(

Look a buster blaster's future and he's just floating through space shouting "This is totally awesome!"

Back to Stinky's

Flint Paper!!!

Flint's mind is just noir narrative... As it should be

Girl Stinky realized Max has been reading her mind

Sam and Max role-playing as Flint and Girl has me laughing

Girl tied Sam up into her lies

The fact that the boys don't realize who Mr. S is is astonishing

Great I have to find a cake. Back to Sal?

The clone Sam hugging the stuffed Bunny 🥰

Sam was doing the same to Max 😍

Love for legomorphs is stored in the dna

Oh hey I missed Charlie the first time

Max shares the creeped out feelings Charlie gives me. Good

Sal knows how to cook 💖

Sal is an artist 🥰

I love Sal

OMG is there actual blood on the cake

No! Don't eat Max!

Sam got a kiss from Stinky, lucky dog. I can't tell if he's surprised or grossed out 😂

Flint and Max are disgusted by the kiss

Oh to be kissed by Girl Stinky... or Sybil... Or Momma Bosco.

Sal doesn't want to kill. Good man

Girl and Sal are my new otp

Oh no, power het couple are possessed

Ok, I'm going back to boscotech for now to mess with Harry now that I have Charlie

Max really hamming it up

Oh hey, Max actually summoned Momma

Agent Superball just teleported?!

What is going on with him?

Also he has OTHER superiors

Momma are you hiding something?

"mmm-mm-mm, those shorts sure don't leave anything to the imagination, do they?"

Was Max right, does Momma have a thing for Sam?

Lol she was lying.

She seems to feel guilty about selling her cloning machines.

Max don't you dare mention the poppers in front of me!!!

It's pretty obvious it's Papierwaite

I like it when she spins

Oh, are we going to track down Bosco to get more DNA for her new body?

I'm going to take to Buster Blaster

"Hey, you wouldn't happen to know anything about those Sam clones running around?" "THOSE ARE REAL?" "Yeah." "HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!!!"

He gave us a letter to give to Momma from Bosco.

"See ya Buster." "I AM BECOME DEATH!"

Sam called Bosco "baby Bosco"

Oh hey, I probably should have tried reading Papierwaiite's mind already

Sam picked Max up so he could type in the code

Ew, Norrinton is a chest burster cthulu

Everyone keeps making fun of Sam's weight :(

Max's reaction to Norringron's grandson being named Junior is great

I used the destabilizer to look for the weapon and now Sam is crying profusely

That Romeo and Juliet reference tho

He's fine now

Well that was a lot of trial and error

Got the new toy and killed the tentacles

Time to get Momma a new body

Momma is bald. That's fine

Love that she's fully clothed even though that doesn't make any sense

Yay shooting things!

Oh no we made Sal fall

Momma is so excited to telport

Aw, she held Max's hand while Sam patted his head ❤️

She punched out Girl! Go Momma!

Ha, we made the clones dance.

Yay, we figured out where the toybox is.

AAAAH

I knew Charlie was going to be evil!

I hate evil dolls

The clones knocked the boys out

We're at the statue of liberty now???

Ew, she's got tenticles

Charlie wants to be reunited with Junior. Can't let that happen since it'll cause the apocalypse

Max is more concerned for Sam than the world

Charlie kidnapped Norrinton

Sam is still struggling against the thrall

Oh hey, got Charlie to let Sam talk

Let's mess with the sheet music

The liberty puzzel was fun

Oh shit, did Charlie just kill Norrington and Papierwaite

Ooooh, Max is all glowly

Ok, that last puzzel was kinda easy

Sam got his hat back!

Max, oh no he fell

Sam looked so scared

Oh Max, scared us for no reason

Oh God, he's scaring us for real now

OMG is this because he swallowed some demon yolk?

He's so big and Cthulu-y now!!!

Shut up narrator!

"Well, this is new." oh Sam

Wait the episode just ends there!?

Gaaahd now I have to stay up and play the next one or die from suspense.

After credits scene... Did we kill Sal!? Nooo!!!!

[vjesticka]

@variousmethodsofescaape gets an angry starter !

“ YOU JUST TRIED TO BITE ME ! ” nadia hissed at the vampire as she violently pulled away from him . did he have any idea who she was ? she was a protector witch , and he decided to play with fire .

[operativesurprise]

Dreams I’ve had recently enough to find with a quick scroll on my fb wall

was dreaming about a cave last night. With lots of shallow pools of water along the floor. I feel like if I'd seen the layout from above it would have looked like paisleys. There was a creature there tending the pools. Sweeping detritus away, skimming the surfaces of the water. It took moss that was growing too thick in some places and put it into bare areas, and it was very gentle with the little frogs and salamanders living on the walls.

There was the sound of bats and the dripping and echo of water, and a low hum in the background, but the creature itself made no sound. You heard the bristles of it's broom, and the soft shift of stones it touched, but no footsteps, no breathing, no nothing but a soft chiming noise as it looked in each pool.

The waters all glowed, some white, some pale blue, others pulsed through light pink to deep magenta. The whole dream had this aura of calmness, of being content. It was like being in a giant zen garden but dial the peace up even more. I'm not really sure where -I- was in the dream. My POV was kinda hovering over the figure as it tended to the pools, but I'm fairly certain I wasn't the figure itself. I was like, 6 inches up and to the left.

_____

I've been trying to sketch an image I had in a dream last night and it's just not setting up right. It was like. Honestly it was like the first few seconds of the Adventure Time intro animation - that super fast 'drone camera' POV that swoops down through trees and stuff and focuses in on a character with their back to the camera and then they turn and look?

I was swooping through this orchard of blooming apple trees - and I took note bc for some reason I was surprised they weren't pear and peach trees like 'they were supposed to be'.

But as the camera/I got closer to this feminine figure standing under the branches and the flowers and these really almost black-green leaves in this rich green velvet textured dress (it's totally the dress that's on the original golden book cover of Ella Enchanted), with big free fall bouncy waves of BLOND hair, they turn and instead of it being that kinda anime "turn and wink/smile" and the camera goes to the next, she turned around and it was a dead eyed marionette.

My camera POV just slammed to a halt with the freeze frame of this... entity (which I 'knew' in my dream was The Druid) (Even though this wasn't really an MJ dream) looking up and over their shoulder at me, like they'd become aware of the camera and were looking straight at ME. The branches with the flowers and the leaves above it framed it really close and I couldn't see much other than the scribbly ovals of it's eyes. Then the colors all got desaturated except for the apple blossoms.

And then that dream was over.

___

Vivid dreams last night about being on house hunters. With Lithrick as the realtor.

Also had a very ominous dream about standing in a misty open field, feeling the sawgrass scrape my bare arms and shins, staring up into the grey sky while sharp winged birds with broken bodies 'flew' through the air. It looked like how a washcloth you are swirling in a tub of water looked. There was no sound for that one but I could feel the rain on my face as I looked up.

Then I was dreaming about being on the beach in Belize with the chitons and baby hermit crabs and the breeze and I was watching the sunrise.

___

I've been having zombie nightmares since Sunday. Sunday and Monday were taking place in the shopping mall (which is a relatively new venue for my dreams), Sunday being the Beginning of the outbreak (and star trek themed) and Monday mostly about life starting up in the 'colony' of this gigantic shopping mall.

But last night I dreamed about the collapse of the colony and then survival in the forest.

There was a man in a wheelchair who had arrived at the shopping mall with his mother - both of whom were injured but not infected. We let them in and the mother succumbed to her injuries shortly after.

This left the man in the wheelchair distraught and he would wheel around the open plaza in the center of the mall mumbling. It was not concerning - until other weird things began to happen.

Like how one of the dorm areas had mysteriously become locked, how some people were going missing (presumably they left to try and find their families), and how some older people were getting injuries in the night - explained away by "well, old people have delicate skin and maybe they bumped themselves".

But then the man in the wheelchair wheeled up to the mezzanine and shouted for attention. And then he collapsed, and clouds of mosquitos erupted from his wounds and began to attack people.

Flash forward to a weird mix of irl and larp characters living in the woods behind my house in an abandoned homestead - I had gone from dying by mosquito to being Sano and a group of us avoiding Velociraptors in the long grass as we made our way back to the relative safety of this bombed out building husk.

But then The Rattler Gang came - horribly tattooed and violent and they ransacked through the homestead and were almost into our barricaded room when not-quite-Malaki and sorta-Allison with an ancestor spirit wig on saved us.

The dream ended with us all in a cave explaining to a horrified Morgrym that "see what happens when you're late?"

It was so weird bc as the dreams progressed and became more MJ and less Real World but with Zombies the zombies became less of an issue (I mean, repel undead is a thing)

___

Last night I dreamed about Ridge Road being a swamp instead of a road. The fields on either side were the same, but the road itself was a Louisiana/Florida/Bayou/Swamp thing with hot, moist air, dragon flies, grasses, alligators, everything you could want (though the water was clear as day).

And I was walking along the broken up boards that served as this sorta river trail following the path of the road. Slats were missing in places and it was a distinctive walnut color, and it was rickety and I could smell the heat of it like being on a dock in the summer time.

And as I was walking along I knew I was heading toward Harris Hill farm but instead of the farm it was the Pirate Tavern bar that I dream about fairly often.

(as I'm thinking about it, it kinda has the air of a setting in a Curse of Monkey Island game crossed against Diablo II)

But before I can get into the tavern there was a crowd of tourists wading through the water nearby. Like, the most stereotypical hawaiian shirt white-sunscreen-on-nose and flyfishing capped tourists you could imagine. And they were lost looking for their fan boat but I didn't know where it was - but I also didn't want them to find the Pirate Tavern bc it's a secret and my co-owner Matt Sch would be mad if we had to relocate AGAIN bc non-pirates had found us.

And in my dream I am DISTINCTLY aware that LAST TIME there were also VAMPIRES there, but Skye Collins had bought out their half of that Pirate-Vampire Tavern to own it outright as JUST a Vampire Tavern so this time I went into business with Matt. Not Lithrick, Matt.

And I was -upset- in my dream until I 'remembered' that I hadn't skipped out on Skye and the Vampirate Tavern, I'd just opened another location with a different partner after reaching an amicable business deal. We still traded aligator blood grog for peat moss from the other location to serve a certain cocktail with at THIS one.

___

Had a dream last night that I was diving on a whale fall. But either I was minuscule or the whale was super gigantic bc the rib bones were these looming spires like I was watching a stroll under redwood trees through a low fisheye lense.

Thinking about it I can totally piece out the different dives that meshed to make this dream up.

The stalactites from the Blue Hole, The gelatinous muck on the bottom in the St. Lawrence The cold from the Brownstone Quarry

___

If we want to talk about a fever dream... last night I had a dream about being trapped on a volcanic island while the whole chain of volcanoes were erupting.

The evacuation was happening but I went back to the house for the animals and got stuck there. And other neighbors who couldn't get out in time were coming over with their pets and supplies.

I was watching the lightning and the ash fall outside when I saw three red colored golden retrievers but I could only get two of them to come inside and I spent the rest of the dream upset and trying to find the third one. I found other animals trying to hide from the ash and storm, but I woke up before finding that 3rd golden.

The lava flows were coming down the mountain too.

___

Dream time. So. A classical vampire and an actual bat demon are out on the town looking for something to do when they come across a nail parlor.

What a great idea, they think! We'll get manipedis and then do brunch over at IKEA.

But when they go into the nail parlor there is far too much religious imagery to be comfortable and the demon doesn't want to stay anymore so they go back outside all sad.

Vampire suggests they just kill and eat the occupants of the nail parlor and find something else to do with their day off.

Demon agrees to the plan but they have this 'thing' where when the two of them murder a bunch of people they leave a haiku written in the blood on the wall.

They begin to argue because they both have different accents and can't decide on the syllable count for a certain word.

___

So there's a string of tall, skinny houses in Litchfield after 'The Church' that usually feature in any nightmares I tend to have. Last night did not disappoint.

The lineup was this:

🏚🏠🏡🏠 An empty house, My house, the neighbor's house, and then for some reason my grandmother's house.

And we had gone next door to the neighbor's house for dinner, even though we knew it was dangerous to be outside of our house after dark. But as we gathered in their entryway the spotlights on the rest of the neighborhood started turning on and we knew we had stayed too late.

"They" were out there. You were safe in the daylight, you were safe at night as long as you didn't open your doors. BUT now it was night. And we had to get home.

So we slip out the door and we can hear the neighborhood using birdcalls to communicate the 'all clear'. As we are going down this overgrown embankment toward our house we see it.

One of them.

And then we hear someone sound the alarm, a series of owl hoots. It distracts the thing for a moment and we think we could slip away but it turns and starts trying to get into our house so we run to the empty one next door and JUST barely make it.

Dream me's mother and little sister make it into the screened in porch just ahead of me and I fall in and turn and only just get the door closed in time when It attacks.

It was a zombie. Or a ghoul. Or something. a woman with a bloody face and terrible teeth and honestly it looked like Reagan from the Exorcist and she launched herself against the screen door which I'm trying to keep closed.

I know she can't get in the door but then she makes this horrible noise and says,

"You won't be safe for long. We're getting stronger,"

And the door is almost coming off its hinges but I -know- as long as I keep the door closed at night we are safe and then she laughs and presses her face to the screen and says,

"I'll just get in tomorrow morning. Before you're awake. Because, really, what difference does the sun or stars make? I'll get in tomorrow,"

And then I woke up.

____

My dream last night was so complicated I can barely keep it straight.

I was some grizzled, older ex-con dude pulled out of my soft retirement as a school bus driver because a child genius was being used as the catalyst for the robot war apocalypse by his wealthy mother's greedy board of directors.

And somehow I had a time machine that I was gonna use to bring the kid back to the beginning of all the issues and he was gonna start sabotaging the dangerous inventions so he could just be a regular child genius instead of responsible for global-scale mass murder.

At one point I had thrown the kid's manifesto at him but he hadn't actually read it bc it was too big and there were no pictures but also bad language and he asked me what "twat" meant and the kid was horrified that they would use that kind of language. Like he was ambivalent about the murders but bad language was crossing a line.

And as part of my "wait. He's just a kid I can help him instead of kill him" epiphany for some reason I looked out the time machine window and saw my old motorcycle which was painted in blue tiedye pattern and that memory moved me enough to offer to help the kid.

So the kid grabbed his froggy backpack and offered to give me all of his science fair winnings (which was like. Hundreds of thousands of dollars and two telephoto camera lenses for some reason. And a green and purple feather boa) but I just took enough to buy a new motorcycle and told him to hide it from his past mother so they're not suspicious.

___

Okay subconscious, doing laundry with the elves of mirkwood is NOT becoming a reoccurring dream. Three times is enough. Stop now. ____

I was an undercover secret agent posing as the nanny to a royal family's children. The children had a pool party for the oldest's birthday, and I was in charge of the yacht rides in the aquarium tank. Halfway through the dream, Pirates attacked with large assault rifles, trolls, and fire elementals. I managed to save some of the children, but then Katina was healing the ones that had been injured when a Shadow quick deathbed them and I had to resort to Improv comedy to keep the remaining kids from screaming as their friends turned to ghosts around us. None of the adults would listen to me that the attack had been planned, they were convinced that it was random, and despite the fact that I had a way to turn back time and catch the one woman who had started the fight they refused to do anything but complain that dinner had been delayed.

[punkscowardschampions]

James & Ava

James: [let's say he puts up an insta of those bubs playing with those torts for her to see] Ava: 🥰 So happy they like 'em, I would've tried to get a real one but they were not fitting in the hand-luggage and apparently that's illegal 🤷 James: [ages later like] James: picking you up from A&E is one thing, a holding cell is quite another Ava: I understand, there's fast and then there's that Ava: thank GOD my Dad will front my bail 😏 James: & your brother's practically a lawyer so there's that Ava: If it weren't him I'd raise questions about having a 'basically' lawyer take my case but yeah Ava: do the torts have names yet? Ava: keep me posted tah James: they do James: Clover & Dandy Ava: 👏 Ava: very creative, very cute Ava: must take after you James: Matty's suggestions were all rejected for being too confusing, which in my opinion was slightly brutal of Jay, but I do also see her point Ava: 😂 Ava: They can have some confusing but adorable nicknames Ava: I couldn't say either my brother or sister's names for the longest time Ava: stuck being 'Uster and 'Ancy James: & yet if the roles were reversed they'd have had such an easy time James: yet more evidence you're a 😇 Ava: and very easy to spell when I got to School, thanks mum and dad Ava: you were alright, 'til it gets to your surname, bit unfair that James: I used to just do a J James: ironic now but I didn't like writing much when I was younger James: added the a & y later when everyone started calling me it Ava: It must've been something, to get to pass that on James: she did it without asking me James: but I know she could have fared a lot worse Ava: Oh, really Ava: I guess that's a thoughtful gesture on her part James: from an outsiders perspective, yes, but I understand why she actually did it Ava: Why? James: because she wanted me to step up & it was the most obvious way there is to say that she's mine & I had to Ava: Ah, that makes sense Ava: in that case, thoughtful as in well thought out but not beyond that Ava: she took your name from you that's James: I'm happy for Jay to have it now though, she'd hate a 'girly' name James: I would have had to find a nickname she could bear to be called in that instance Ava: Yes, at least she's the one who actually has the name, that's never gonna feel bad James: I don't remember where Matilda's came from, we were barely speaking then James: so that does feel worse Ava: at least there's an excellent book and character waiting James: very true James: & she had terrible parents Ava: You won't be getting a hat glued to your head any time soon James: today I won't, we've all learned so many 🐢 facts Ava: Go for esio trot first James: I will, I haven't read it before James: thank you, Ava Ava: You'll like it, and for Roald Dahl, it's pretty sweet Ava: no bad ideas before bed time, like James: does it have a happy ending? Ava: It does Ava: for humans and 🐢 alike James: I've missed you Ava: I've missed you Ava: Obviously couldn't commit the cliche of meeting me off the plane, but when can I see you? James: what are you doing tomorrow? Ava: Avoiding unpacking Ava: I think I've got a brunch date but beyond that, I'm free James: my dad is out of the office all day if you'd like to come & visit me Ava: I'd like that a lot Ava: I definitely will Ava: that'll be okay, right James: she's not going to also decide to visit me James: or talk to anyone that could see you doing so Ava: okay good Ava: Obviously you've thought it through but got a 😇 rep to protect James: I'll never be reckless when your halo is at stake, I assure you James: it's very important to me Ava: What about my 😈 Ava: You can do something about them too, yeah? James: absolutely James: those horns need to stay sharp, of course Ava: God you're hot James Ava: I've missed you so much you have no idea because I lack the words to explain it in any way that would convey just how hard it's been being so far away from you Ava: but I am very much ready to show you tomorrow Ava: and I'm not just talking about the holiday snaps that were not suitable for public display James: It's vital that the protagonist of my 1st novel is very multifaceted 😇 & 😈 which is why I wouldn't write it about just anyone James: I'll show you tomorrow, why it has to be you Ava: I'm so glad that it's me Ava: fuck James: I've lost hours thinking about the tan lines you potentially do or don't have, I'm very invested Ava: I have a strict no spoilers policy Ava: all will be revealed James: but I need to know Ava: 😏 Ava: It does seem cruel and unusual to make you wait when you've already been waiting so long Ava: too 😈 perhaps James: but sending gifts was very 😇 James: what decision are you going to make? Ava: It was just a little something Ava: if I had to get something every time I thought about you, we're talking grains of sand on the beach level Ava: I can't send you pictures, can I James: no, she has an app that restores any pictures I delete Ava: Hmm James: that said, you don't have any tattoos or anything clearly identifying Ava: that's true Ava: can she see the account of who's sent the pictures Ava: because it doesn't have to be me who sends them, or anyone else that actually exists to hunt down James: how many times are you going to go above & beyond to prove to me that you're too smart for King's? James: I believed you on the 1st tour Ava: I can be smart as long as we need to be smart Ava: and I had to make sure you wanted to talk to me after the 1st tour, of course James: I wanted to talk to you before the 1st tour, you know that Ava: I know Ava: Can I ask you something, if you promise to be honest James: yes Ava: Did you think badly of me for trying to pursue you when I knew you were married Ava: or what did you think of me, I guess James: I was too busy being glad that you wanted to James: but of course I wondered why James: I still wonder what it is that you could ever be interested in about me Ava: I can't profess to giving it particular or cohesive prior thought myself Ava: we both allowed some recklessness that day, clearly Ava: and I know you do, I'll write you a book one day Ava: but it'll take me a while to get down everything I find interesting and worthwhile about you James: I can wait Ava: Good Ava: One job at a time Ava: and this profile is looking pretty realistic and is as close to untraceable as is possible Ava: but I'm assuming she doesn't moonlight for MI5 James: do you? James: because you perhaps should Ava: 😏 Ava: Only to write my award-winning, world-changing exposé James: you're going to be a spectacular journalist Ava: Thank you 😊 Ava: I'll spare waxing lyrical about the vitality of a free press, don't think the readers will be about it when we could be talking more about my tan lines James: please do continue James: on whatever subject you feel the most passionate Ava: [a message request from this fake profile moment] James: [immediately accepts and immediately dies] James: oh Ava: you said passionate James: I did Ava: You're a subject I can get really worked up about, like James: I can see that James: & feel it Ava: Good Ava: Are you allowed to send photos to a fake girl or no? James: I don't care if the fake girl gets discovered James: she means nothing to me Ava: Poor fake girl Ava: still, can't be all bad James: it's not James: because now I can show you how much you mean James: [and does because FINALLY can send each other whatever they want] Ava: [what a glorious moment also over here like don't say ily don't say ily] Ava: OH James: Thrilled as I am to be behind a locked door, I'd be even gladder if you were here too Ava: yeah I Ava: feel that Ava: really feel it James: it's my turn to ask you a question James: do you want to hear the story of what would happen if we currently had all the time we could possibly want to really delve into 2 weeks of thoughts, dreams & wish fulfilment or do you want a narrative that's more realistically framed, so unfortunately there's not much opportunity for description or dialogue but instead every second is intensely action driven because we don't have a single one to waste? Ava: The latter Ava: I know the story, as the protagonist I've been living it with you Ava: Call mystery girl, she'll be as quiet as she can James: [does of course] Ava: Well James: I'm speechless James: but still here Ava: Please stay Ava: I hope you can stay James: I'll try Ava: Remember I told you this is different James: yes Ava: I really haven't felt like this before Ava: is what I'm saying Ava: I'm even more sure this is entirely new now James: understood James: I know you understand that it's the same for me Ava: I do James: Ava James: please stay too Ava: I will Ava: Literally nowhere else I'd rather be Ava: or no one else James: I'll try to understand that Ava: I'll try to make it clearer Ava: long as that may take Ava: not a quitter James: you've also never been unclear Ava: But you should know by now Ava: you know James: that's my error, not yours Ava: Shh James: I can't because Ava: Why? James: none of the blame for what I don't know rests on you Ava: but Ava: yeah, that's true Ava: but there's more ways I could show you Ava: tell you James: are there? Ava: yeah Ava: but you know Ava: scary James: that I do know for definite Ava: You don't think I'm 🙀 James: I think you're brave James: but you recognise when to be cautious Ava: I recognize it Ava: I rarely want to be cautious though James: we wouldn't have a story if you did Ava: 😏 okay Ava: I feel less bad James: don't feel bad at all James: please Ava: okay Ava: I'll try Ava: if you do James: you shake Frank's paw & I'll shake a 🐢's James: arm? whatever they have Ava: 🥰 you are so fucking cute Ava: and it's a deal James: [sends her a pic of him doing it because he can now #nerd] Ava: [send a video of Frank mugging her off like get away from me mother] James: 😂 Ava: I still agree to the terms and conditions Ava: he's just a diva and thinks I'm trying to give him an unwanted manipedi James: I can relate to the dread of an unwanted makeover James: tell him I apologise for laughing Ava: Dad duties? James: the reality of a very controlling wife Ava: 😑 Ava: Well we'll go shopping, one day James: only if Jay can come too, nobody hates having no influence over their own wardrobe more than she does Ava: Of course Ava: she's got to meet Frank James: she would love to, you honestly have no idea Ava: One day soon Ava: I can handle bumping into you at the park without being too 😍 James: I don't know whether to be happy or sad that you can apparently handle that Ava: I'm nothing if not over-ambitious Ava: and over-confident James: I like both of those things about you Ava: There's nothing I don't like about you James: I got it really wrong, you're not trying to age me, you're trying to kill me Ava: Never Ava: What would I do without you? James: you'd survive, as you're always saying Ava: 🥺 Ava: no James: it's okay, we don't have to find out James: I want you with me, not without me Ava: I need you James: Ava James: I haven't got in it me to walk away again, I mean it Ava: Then don't Ava: it isn't what I want Ava: but as well, I really don't think it's right, for you or for anyone, me included Ava: It wouldn't be easy, at all, but if I thought this was wrong, I wouldn't do it, I'd have to stop, somehow James: I know Ava: I'm not a bad person Ava: and neither are you James: you're a good person James: & being with you isn't what makes me a bad one Ava: You're a good one Ava: one of my favourites James: no, but you make me want to be better at being a person James: because you're one of my favourites too Ava: We're all just trying to get better at being people, yeah James: most of us Ava: The rest are gonna wake up and realize they wasted a lot of time pretending they had it all figured out, too late James: I'm so happy I met you Ava: That is definitely very mutual James: even if this all goes wrong again tomorrow or any time before how long we want it to last, I want you to know I won't be sorry about the start or the middle Ava: That means more than that phrase can convey James: & I want to emphasise I'm not only saying so because everything else in my life is going horribly James: if I was happy I'd want to share that with you too Ava: I love you James: Ava Ava: I couldn't not say it anymore, I'm sorry James: I don't want you to be sorry if you're not Ava: I'm not sorry that I mean it, or feel it Ava: but I am if I crossed a boundary James: you can say anything to me Ava: Well Ava: there it is James: what are we going to do about it? Ava: Up to you really Ava: we don't have to do anything Ava: do we? James: but that wouldn't be right James: things shouldn't go on as they are Ava: Sometimes they have to though Ava: anyway, does it even count as a declaration of love if I don't run to your house in the pouring rain in something made of white silk, like James: it counts that you're the 1st adult who has honestly said that to me Ava: Then I'll say it again Ava: I love you, James James: Then we need to find a way to be together properly Ava: Yeah? James: yes James: you can't be this important & the other most important person in my life not know that you exist James: or never have woken up next to me James: I still have no idea how beautiful you look when you're asleep Ava: We'll work it out Ava: be together properly James: I promise James: because I have no intention of breaking it Ava: I'm thinking maybe you want me dead too James: not even hypothetically James: I need you too much Ava: My legs feel like they ache from not being allowed to come run and find you right now James: I keep accidentally hurting you, don't I? James: Frank has no skills as a masseur I assume? James: IOU Ava: I'm holding you to that one like it's a bonafide promise too James: good James: because while I don't technically have any skills of my own, I'm confident you'll let me know if you like my attempts or not Ava: fake girl might be quiet as a mouse but that's not my style unless absolutely necessary James: that's why you're my favourite & she's my scapegoat Ava: 🥰😏 I can only be so sorry James: well, it's fine because apologies aren't what I wanna hear Ava: All I wanna hear is my alarm so it means I get to see you today James: almost looking forward to going to the office myself James: how unusual Ava: They're so welcome for the boost in morale, like James: if I could keep you on my desk all day, I would Ava: When the novel is ready and you're ready to be fired, then we can do that James: okay James: I'll pull a few more all-nighters James: see if I can't get these chapters finished Ava: I'll nap beside you Ava: at my most inspiring when I 😴 James: I find it hard to believe you'd be anything other than distracting Ava: Who, me? 😇 James: yes, you James: you're very beautiful, you know Ava: 😊 Ava: You're lovely James: it's true, you make me wish I knew how to paint Ava: You make me wish a lot of things, I get that James: tell me one day Ava: Every wish? James: yes Ava: Okay Ava: we can count how many have come true James: until they all have Ava: Happily ever after James: it would be over ambitious & over confident of me to suggest I'm capable of giving you anything close & I'm not anything close to being either Ava: You're just less talk, more make it happen Ava: you've shown that plenty already Ava: I believe in you, I always tell you James: I can always feel how sincere you're being when you do Ava: Good 'cos I don't lie Ava: even to be nice James: I like that about you most of all Ava: If I wasn't conceited before 😂 James: you weren't, it's fine Ava: Well Ava: 🤏 Ava: but it is fine Ava: not not fine enough to warrant stopping you complimenting me James: you couldn't stop me, darling Ava: is that so? James: of course James: even if you made me speechless again, compliments don't have to be spoken Ava: 🤤 Ava: can we put that to the test James: give me a minute James: [a dramatic pause that's longer than either of them would like] Ava: James? James: okay, test me Ava: How though? James: how do you think you can 😶? Ava: Oh, that's easy Ava: I just need the help of a friend James: it's easy to give you compliments Ava: I know, that's why I've gotta go hard over here Ava: bear with James: take all the time you need Ava: I won't need that long Ava: don't like wasting time with you ever James: are you saying you think you've already lost? Ava: Um, no Ava: I'm saying it won't be long until you can see the finished product and be 😶 Ava: how rude of you 😏 James: then it couldn't possibly be a waste of time Ava: [sends him a video on the fake profile] Ava: might wanna turn your sound way down James: well, now I want to turn it up Ava: do so at your own risk Ava: I'm very much alone rn so I could be as loud as is necessary James: [sends her a pic so she knows how into that video he was because worth a thousand words] Ava: Now that is a compliment James: like I said, it's easy to be complimentary towards you Ava: I can see that 🤭 James: I need to see you James: why the fuck isn't it tomorrow yet? Ava: It's actually so unfair Ava: dunno if we can claim starcrossed but you know James: it'll feel less tragic once I get in the shower & can actually turn the volume up Ava: You're really gonna inspire a sequel that easily, huh James: a saga James: longer than Twilight Ava: would just about see us through 'til morning Ava: me @ brunch 🥴 James: I'm wide awake if you are Ava: Of course Ava: new challenge Ava: make you speechless and get you to 💤 pass out, like James: I'm not sure if it's an advantage or disadvantage that I haven't slept well for the last 6 years Ava: We'll work that out together Ava: but wait Ava: say night now so I don't miss it later James: it'll definitely prove helpful in the morning since we have a habit of leaving cups of coffee untouched when we're together James: Oh Ava, you're so sweet James: goodnight for later, my darling Ava: True Ava: and Edward is so jealous Ava: you can't help being more interesting Ava: or better at sweet talk James: we'll make everyone jealous, one day James: when you're my girlfriend Ava: I can't wait Ava: legitimately James: me either Ava: Did you have many girlfriends before Ava: or just do hookups James: I didn't have any girlfriends before Ava: suppose you didn't have much time, nah Ava: not for serious ones James: I didn't want a serious one in school & my parents absolutely didn't want me to have one either, for all the good that did Ava: Makes sense Ava: parents rarely get what they want though, like you said James: I was having too much fun not being serious about anything, until I wasn't any more Ava: That's a lot of people Ava: if there's a time for it James: that's everyone I knew then & a lot of different people I also know now Ava: Yeah, it is a bit like they typecast this entire area most of the time James: I'll make every attempt to avoid it when I set the scene in my novel Ava: like you said too, fun 'til it ain't Ava: I always leave before then James: I always did too, until I got to rehab & leaving was no longer an option James: kind of its unique selling point Ava: How long ago was that? James: it's been years Ava: What did you go in for, if you don't mind me asking James: do you remember that expensive drug habit I mentioned as being one of the only things I used to care about? it honestly was Ava: I was just worried you were meant to be sober Ava: 'cos that would've been really awkward Ava: that's amazing though Ava: well done James: I'm mostly sober but sometimes I fuck that up, which is awkward, you're right Ava: I'm sorry Ava: that night was totally my idea, I steamrolled you so hard James: it was my bad idea to get drunk, that's not your fault James: it's also not your fault that I did something I shouldn't to try & stop myself from doing something else that I'd convinced myself that I shouldn't James: because I'm well aware of how well that doesn't work Ava: Alright Ava: but I'll be more supportive now I know, for the record Ava: though I see your logic there, even if it didn't exactly go to plan James: it went according to an even better plan James: because here we are James: & I don't want to spoil your fun, Ava Ava: I can't even claim it as my plan, sadly Ava: 'cos I couldn't even imagine we'd get here Ava: and you won't, you don't Ava: there's more than one way to have fun Ava: every time I've met up with you has been fun and I was only drinking one of those times so safe to say it isn't required, like James: tomorrow won't be any different, I promise James: despite the fact my office has never been fun before Ava: yeah but I've never been there before Ava: obviously the issue James: the main issue, absolutely Ava: having your dad as a co-worker is probably a fair 2nd James: technically he's my boss & how often he likes to make that known is the 3rd Ava: ick Ava: 🙄 Ava: he's not getting in the book James: I'll put him in the acknowledgements for spurring me on in getting the chapters done quickly Ava: 😂 A subtle dig is the best kind James: 🖋 vs ⚔ Ava: your 🤓 brain is sexy James: I'll happily say again that everything about you is Ava: I'll be even happier when I can hear you actually say it tomorrow James: you can hear me say it now James: I'll bring you into the 🚿 with me Ava: I love you James: [okay we skipping to tomorrow for my evil cockblocking deeds] James: Teddy's here Ava: Oh Ava: to visit or put in hours? James: the latter apparently, which he has wisely decided to do when my dad isn't here to supervise him Ava: Well, good for him Ava: right, what's the plan then James: I'm gonna go get Matty, she might as well here too since you can't be James: maybe she'll annoy him enough that he'll leave earlier than he's currently planning to Ava: Cross my fingers, like Ava: she's pretty sweet overall though James: Teddy really doesn't like children though Ava: I can't imagine him interacting with one tbf Ava: keep me posted then, I guess James: he dropped Jay when she was a bit older than Matty, it can't have helped matters James: if nothing else I'll try & leave earlier than I actually need to when I go to pick her up James: it won't give us long but it's the best I can do Ava: Kids are made of sturdy stuff, if my fam has taught me anything Ava: bless him Ava: that's cool Ava: the girls were going on to the shops so I'll just join them James: okay Ava: can't be helped, can it James: not yet James: but I'm still sorry Ava: not your fault James: [sends her all the deets because he's booked her a massage since he can't give her one & she's now got loads of spare time, like ILY babe] Ava: You didn't have to do that Ava: but as far as 2nd best options go Ava: I've lucked out there, thank you James: I'm aware how frustrating all of this is, in every possible aspect of the word James: so hopefully this will help Ava: It is Ava: but you're worth it to me so I'm in if you are Ava: though probably warn me beforehand if it's that kind of massage, otherwise it could get awkward James: 😂 I have heard she's very good but I can't personally vouch for whether or not that's why she's as highly recommended as she is James: you'll have to let me know Ava: 😏 I'll let you know if your friends are shameless perverts or not, yeah James: thank you James: it would be useful information to have because both my parents have separately been there Ava: 😬 Ava: do you reckon that's ever happened Ava: having an affair with the same person by accident James: it must have at some point Ava: I mean, a thruple is the last resort of every middle-aged couple wanting to reignite things so give it a go James: thank god I'm not yet middle aged & my marriage is dead in the water James: it was strange enough when a friend made a pass at me at a party who I know had slept with her previously without seeking us it out Ava: as much as it pains me you aren't, babe Ava: she's not my type either sorry James: understandable, he wasn't mine Ava: you straight? James: shocking, I know Ava: Again, tragically not but I thought I better check 😉 James: as much as she'd probably love that to be the reason I want to leave her, it's not Ava: That cliche really is played out though James: agreed, it's not one of my preferred cliches Ava: Fine, fine, I WON'T sleep with the masseuse, you don't have to beg James: if you could not sleep with anyone else, regardless of their profession, that'd be a relief Ava: 'Course I won't Ava: I love you, there'd be no point James: I miss you so much Ava: I know, I miss you too Ava: not just because all my friends seem to have got new boyfriends at once that they all had to talk about James: two fake profiles would be a step too far, right? Ava: 🤏 just Ava: anyway, fake girl means nothing Ava: I don't wanna claim fake boy either, just you James: maybe you should come to the office & let Teddy see you, it would get everything out in the open Ava: I don't think you're ready for that, are you James: there is no way to ready myself for it though, is there? Ava: There's some ways Ava: even if you know your wife is obviously gonna be a nightmare regardless Ava: can ease everyone else in Ava: maybe mention you've met someone to him? see how he is with that first James: I don't really want to involve him to such a dramatic degree, yours is a much better idea Ava: Believe me, I wanna be there as much as you want me there Ava: but I don't wanna fuck it up James: me either, it's gotten so bad with her James: as bad as it's ever been Ava: What are you going to do? James: I don't know, I tried to leave when...after I left you & James: well, I'm still there, aren't I? Ava: It's really fucking complicated Ava: and that's an understatement Ava: it will probably be worse after, when you do leave Ava: but then, when she can't follow through with her threats, 'cos it's all bullshit, what can she do, you know what I mean James: she's said things that mean I can't risk leaving her alone with the children at all now James: not that I particularly did before but there were things I believed she'd do then & things I didn't actually Ava: You'd have to take them with you Ava: so that means you need to keep your place Ava: but I assume the chances of her leaving are slim to none Ava: unless Ava: hmm James: she's said she wants to go, start over, but that means nothing James: I know she'd refuse to just to spite me Ava: Appearance is everything with her, yeah? James: it is Ava: you need to do something that will make her leave then, feel like she's made the decision Ava: like if you were gay, something that she can't make go away on the socials James: we can't have a baby just so she'll fuck off Ava: No, I can't even have news of a fake baby getting back to my parents Ava: but seriously Ava: if we did out us, show people we were Ava: would she find a way to hack that or no? James: she'd find a way to destroy your entire life Ava: No she wouldn't Ava: she's doing that to yours, has been for too long James: she would, Ava James: she's done it before, to your sister, to any other girls she's found out about James: & I didn't even care about them the way I do about you Ava: What could she possibly say about me? Ava: I'm a homewrecker? If she wants everyone to know how unhappily married she is Ava: Everyone knows all about my weird family, I've dealt with that for years Ava: Anything she could say, I'd own up to or I'd prove wrong, she doesn't control my narrative James: even if you are right, she still controls mine James: my children's James: I'm not allowed to just take them, am I? She'll have me arrested or something Ava: Only mentally Ava: you can break that, you will Ava: 'cos she doesn't provide any finances, she doesn't look after the kids, what does she offer, like Ava: there is no hold over you but her mental one Ava: Your name is on their birth certificates too, you're as entitled to be with them Ava: anyway, you don't have to go anywhere, who owns your flat, like? James: my dad owns everything Ava: Yeah, your dad Ava: He's not going to put his grandkids out, even if he doesn't side with you Ava: and if it comes to it, he'll have to have you both out whilst you sort out the divorce Ava: there's no way she's automatically entitled to that flat, it isn't either of yours Ava: and she's not automatically entitled to the kids, especially with all the worrying things she's said, yeah James: but I'm not either, I'm an addict Ava: Recovered, literally went to rehab Ava: and let's be honest, half this town is on it to that degree but they're not owning up and calling it a problem Ava: you did that and you sorted it out James: what if they aren't actually mine? James: she's cheated as much as I have Ava: Oh, James Ava: I don't know Ava: you could find out Ava: if you were ready for that but Ava: I see the appeal of not knowing Ava: she probably does though, if she's thought to use it against you before, it's at least crossed her mind too James: as much as she's said it, I've never actually believed her James: but what if I find out that they aren't, it'll be the end, nothing else that we've just said would even have any relevance James: I can't lose them, Ava, I'd rather stay with her forever than let that happen Ava: Of course Ava: they're yours, you raised them Ava: does she Ava: stupid question but does she actually want them? James: no James: she told me she never did, either of them Ava: I don't Ava: as spiteful as she is Ava: would she keep two kids she doesn't love or want Ava: what about her parents, what do they think? James: they're both at their wits end Ava: They'd back you, then James: they know they can't back her James: too much has happened that her mum knows about Ava: If you have proof and people backing you that she's unfit to be the sole provider, then she'd have to sort out visitation and work with you Ava: and I can't see her bothering, if she means all she's said Ava: but Ava: I don't know Ava: it's scary James: if she knows it's you I'm with, I honestly couldn't guarantee anything with regards to what she would or wouldn't do James: her strange obsession with your siblings is something I've never quite understood Ava: None of this is about me, or my wellbeing Ava: I don't care, there's nothing she can do to me Ava: if that was all we were worried about I'd move myself in today but it ain't James: but what I'm saying is, she could go further than we're thinking she would with regards to the children because she doesn't want me to be happy with you specifically James: not just because she doesn't want me to be happy ever Ava: Okay, I get it Ava: So you'll either stay, forever Ava: or she'll take the kids and you'll have to battle in the courts to see them James: that's how it appears James: & if they aren't mine, she just takes them if I don't stay forever Ava: That's why if you do decide to leave Ava: you need to know that first James: I'm scared to know it Ava: That's understandable Ava: there's few things scarier that I can think of James: Matty wouldn't remember if I disappeared from her life now but Jay needs me Ava: You aren't going to just disappear Ava: whatever you decide, whatever happens, we won't let it be that James: can you forget everything I said about trying to be sober, please, I really need a drink James: lots of drinks actually Ava: Tell whoever you need to that you need to go home, okay Ava: then come meet me Ava: I shouldn't have started this conversation right now, I'm so sorry Ava: come be with me James: I can't, you've got a massage to get to & that's the least of what's expected of me James: not leaving Ava: Okay, have you got Matty? Ava: Because go do that then, spend some time with her James: I don't think I should, she'll pick up on how I feel & then nobody'll get any work done Ava: Alright, are you sure you want to stay, you'll be alright? James: I'll be fine Ava: I'll leave you to it then Ava: try to distract yourself, sure Teddy will help you James: I'll talk to you later Ava: Sure, no worries James: [later] James: I'm sorry Ava: I totally get it Ava: well, I don't, but I totally get that too Ava: I'm sorry as well James: everything is indescribably terrible Ava: Yeah Ava: it's bad James: I'm so sorry, Ava Ava: You don't have to say sorry to me Ava: I chose what I chose Ava: you didn't know what you were signing up for, how could you James: now you know what you're signing up for, if you don't want to be any more, I understand Ava: Don't say that James: I have to say it Ava: Now you have then but I'm ignoring you James: please don't Ava: I could never, you know how I feel Ava: that's not changing, it can't James: I know & you know I don't want it to Ava: I just wish there was something I could do Ava: to actually help James: you do help James: more than I can find words to express Ava: I'm not gonna bring it all up again but Ava: all I can think is we have two spare rooms at mine, alright Ava: if you ever need them James: what about your parents? Ava: I could talk to them Ava: and both rooms have bathrooms, and it's only me on that floor as well so the girls wouldn't have to feel like they've got to meet loads of new people James: but what could you possibly say? Ava: As much of the truth as they need to know Ava: Don't worry about that, they're easier to sort than any of the rest of this, yeah James: I'm fairly certain that'd be the whole truth & that wouldn't be easy Ava: They're big rooms, the girls could share or you could have one with Matty Ava: I'm saying, we don't have to say you could as easily share mine James: I wouldn't want someone as fucked up as me going out with either of my daughters Ava: You aren't Ava: it'll just be the age gap but they'll get over that Ava: anyway, the space is there, that's about all I've come up with since earlier James: thank you James: for even trying to come up with anything while I've just been James: again, I don't know what the word is, or could be Ava: You needed to stop Ava: as much as you ever can James: & now I need to see you but it can never just be that simple Ava: Does Jay have anything on tonight, like a club or a lesson or? James: ballet, so I have to stay because she hates it Ava: Fair enough Ava: Is lunch tomorrow an option or? James: I'll make sure it is Ava: Okay, I'll see you then Ava: could you do a phonecall during ballet, even for five minutes Ava: just so I can hear your voice, tell you all the things I wanna James: no promises Ava: of course James: aren't you glad you came back from holiday to all this Ava: I wasn't planning to stay there forever regardless Ava: you know how much I missed you Ava: still do James: tell me about it, or the massage, or your friends' boyfriends, anything that isn't the subject of my misery Ava: It was a good massage Ava: though the way my shoulders killed, you wouldn't think I'd just been on holiday Ava: you definitely need to try it yourself James: I'll book us in together next time Ava: That'll be perfect James: but before I do, did she try & seduce you? Ava: 😂 Ava: not enough to convince me I need to go back every fortnight 💔 James: did you not tell her I've got a best selling novel to write? Ava: Of course Ava: doing the hard sell on everyone for you, babe James: I appreciate it, very much Ava: I appreciate you Ava: What time will you be back, I'll uber eats you something for dinner Ava: you must be exhausted James: only if you order the same thing, it'll almost be like having dinner together Ava: You have the best ideas James: [a time that he'll be back] Ava: It's a date James: I'll dress up for you James: get out of these work clothes Ava: 😳 'scuse you Ava: warn me before you're gonna be that hot please James: if you were warned, you'd be less likely to 😳 Ava: I'll always blush for you Ava: like it or not James: you know how much I like it Ava: I seriously wish you were here Ava: such a waste of pink James: I wish you were here Ava: Gutted my ballet days are behind me James: she doesn't want to go, is there anywhere we actually could meet? Ava: With the kids? Ava: I hear that new soft play does a good coffee James: okay Ava: It's one place adults are actually encouraged to chat to each other so it won't be weird to Jay James: as soon as I tell her she doesn't have to put her tutu on, that's all she'll care about Ava: Bless her James: not to mention the bun, that's a war I'm happy to call a ceasefire on Ava: I'll put my hair down Ava: not trigger her 😂 James: just me then 😍 Ava: it's still a date, like Ava: got to keep you on your toes James: can we draw the line at a pirouette though please? I'm very tired Ava: alright, another time 😏 James: tomorrow maybe Ava: you'll feel up to it then? Ava: planning on a 💤 night of sleep James: you said the coffee's good James: if I actually manage to drink it, who knows Ava: Don't you know you're too big for the ball pit? James: that's an outrageous thing to say! after the day I've had, I couldn't deserve a ball pit more James: you've really devastated me there Ava: Okay, okay, I'm sorry Ava: sneaky hold my hand under the balls? Ava: please James: regardless of your apology, I'm gonna have to throw you in James: so yes Ava: 😱 Ava: now that's actually outrageous James: 😏 Ava: 😈 Ava: how you play James: with you Ava: so inappropriate to make me 😳 in soft play James: oh, so you want best behaviour? James: I can do that too Ava: No Ava: never said that Ava: I might like inappropriate James: I also think you might, let's find out Ava: 🥰 Ava: Let's James: Ava James: I seriously don't know what I would do without you James: no, that's wrong actually, I do. I'd be in such a state right now, really drunk or worse James: because it's not talking about it that's the problem James: we have to keep talking about it, okay? James: I have to figure out what I'm going to do Ava: I love you, James Ava: of course we can keep talking, I'm not going to leave you Ava: whatever you need means just that Ava: you will figure it out Ava: You will not lose them, okay, whatever that takes James: but what you need is just as important & if that's ever taking a step back, not talking about it or whatever else, do it Ava: Of course Ava: I will, I'll try James: good, I've already dragged you into this & I refuse to also drag you down Ava: You'll see how hard it is to do that in the ball pit James: 😂 Ava: Not without a fight, ever James: if they don't use that as the film tagline, such a waste Ava: They might want you as lead for that Ava: negotiations are ongoing James: you're the face, it's non-negotiable Ava: 🥺 I wanna kiss your face James: I want to press my lips against every single bit of your skin, all the time Ava: Oh James: there's never enough hours for everything I want to do with you Ava: Making up for all that lost time should be very, very good James: we're going to need days, weeks, months James: I want to give you that Ava: You can promise James: can I? Ava: Yeah Ava: we'll find a way, right? James: I promise you Ava: 💙 Ava: I promise you it'll get better James: of course, there's no crying in the ballpit Ava: not even when I beat you James: hypothetically not even then, but you won't so it's no problem Ava: 😏 that's fighting talk James: yes, it very much is Ava: Don't try to swoon your way to victory Ava: I'm definitely not that easy, nope James: I'm not Mr Darcy James: we can both do better than that James: that said, I am wearing a white shirt Ava: Shame there's not a good lake around James: but we should still go swimming some time Ava: Only if you pick the bikini Ava: tradition now James: of course, I'd hate to break tradition Ava: take you off the alumnus James: & then how would I meet girls Ava: 😲 Ava: Cheek James: that's all it is, I assure you Ava: not a threat then? James: no James: I'm not planning to lose you in the ball pit Ava: Good luck Ava: take more than a subtle hint to get rid of me, babe James: it'd be very bad luck Ava: 🍀 James: how soon can you be there? Ava: it isn't far, is it Ava: 15-20 minutes James: okay Ava: You better show up first so I can tell 'em I'm meeting you Ava: convincing a not-bothered 6-year-old I have an imaginary child is one thing Ava: reception will just be getting 🚨 James: I'll let you know when we do Ava: 👍 Ava: I'm looking forward to it Ava: even if it'll be odd to leave it at a kiss on the cheek James: & very odd for you & Jay to finally be in the same place Ava: Yeah, you sure you're alright with it? Ava: No doubt she'll totally blank me, who wouldn't when faced with the joy of soft play James: obviously it's far from ideal for me or you but Ava: I just wanna see you Ava: I'm fine with it James: I know I should probably care more but I swear, if this day ends without seeing you James: I will actually lose my mind Ava: We're not doing anything wrong Ava: you can't help it if random women talk to you at soft play Ava: have to keep you literally locked up to avoid that so James: It does happen a lot & yet I've so far avoided being chained to the wall Ava: Exactly Ava: not even anything noteworthy Ava: and I'm not gonna like Ava: overstep or be too much with either of the girls, you don't need to worry Ava: I wouldn't do that, or anything you weren't comfortable with James: I'm not worried about that James: I'd never have brought Matty over to your house if I thought it was going to make either of us feel uncomfortable Ava: 'Course Ava: you're a good dad James: but if you do feel anything close to it, with Jay or with anything, just tell me Ava: I will Ava: You're doing this well, you know James: I'm trying to Ava: And if she ever says, you know Ava: she doesn't like me or whatever Ava: then you can tell me and we won't meet when you have to be with them Ava: take it slower Ava: I know it would make it harder but I know they come first and I'm totally cool with that James: you're doing this really well too Ava: I hope so Ava: it's new territory for both of us, all of us Ava: we'll work this out too James: I trust you, Ava Ava: Thank you Ava: you can Ava: I'm not gonna let you down James: but you can, like you said, we're all just trying to get better at being people, aren't we Ava: Yeah, okay Ava: Too cocky? Ava: I'll try really, really hard not to let you down, but no promises Ava: How's that? James: I don't want you to think that me thinking you're perfect means you have to be James: 😇 & 😈 remember, mistakes are what rewrites exist for & I already made mine in trying to let you go James: you're allowed to get it wrong too Ava: I just really don't want to hurt you James: I don't want to hurt you either Ava: as long as we know that, even if we do by accident or whatever Ava: that's better, isn't it Ava: than me leaving you alone James: anything would be better than that James: but yes, especially if we know what we want & don't want James: I'd let you hurt me over & over again if it meant you didn't leave but I know that isn't what you want Ava: Never ever Ava: even thinking about it is making me hurt James: so we're not going to let it happen even hypothetically Ava: only fun hypotheticals James: like the traffic not being horrendous so I get to soft play before the children start a riot James: because we're finally ready to go Ava: That's so hypothetical it borders on a pipe dream but maybe the universe will play fair after the day you've had 🙏🤞 James: so much so that I'm hypothetically considering walking Ava: how many hypothetical stops would you have to make 'cos she wants to look at something or pick something up she shouldn't Ava: Frank can make a ten minute walk take a good thirty, easy James: enough that I could hypothetically catch my breath after all the cigarette breaks I've had today & I might not hypothetically pass out Ava: Just thinking of your health, clearly James: I should quit, again Ava: How long did you manage? James: which time? Ava: 😏 most successful time then James: 6 months maybe Ava: Not to be sniffed at Ava: longer than I've gone and I'm a shameless 'social' smoker as if that's alright James: how long have you managed? Ava: However long between whenever I've been offered one Ava: I've not tried really James: do you want me to not offer you any? Ava: Sounds like you need to catch your breath Ava: take that as you will James: okay Ava: 😊 Ava: Tell me when I need to leave James: [a long enough pause] James: you can leave now, if you'd like Ava: On my way Ava: how strict is your sweet policy? James: arguably not as strict as it should be, but I don't share that hypothetical opinion Ava: I'll stop in the shop on the way Ava: now, do I guess and see how my choice rates or do I cheat and ask you what the faves are Ava: 🤔 James: you heard me say I trust you, right? Ava: Okay, I got this James: I believe it & in you, darling Ava: 😍 you could say that again Ava: if you liked James: I've got no end of faith in you, Ava Ava: Ugh, bye Ava: I've melted James: what I'm hearing is that I'm going to have to pour you into the ball pit? Ava: If you can pick me up off the floor, yes Ava: also what I'm hearing is you want a treat too, noted James: of course I'll pick you up Ava: Actually trying to kill me Ava: I'm trying to walk, like James: if I could carry you over the threshold of this soft play centre, I would Ava: Babe 😩 James: not the time nor the place, understood Ava: Sadly not James: when the filmmaker takes certain liberties with the source material, we'll attempt it then Ava: Directors cut, yeah James: yes Ava: right, 'scuse me whilst I focus Ava: 🍭🍫🍬 important decisions to be made James: you're sweeter than any of it Ava: James James: sorry, you need to concentrate 😶 Ava: 😈 you Ava: but 😇 at the same time Ava: how do you do it? James: how do you? Ava: Touche Ava: maybe we're a good match James: I think we are Ava: What a coincidence Ava: Me too James: 🍀 Ava: [do we wanna end it here and just work out how it goes?] James: [yeah we can do] Ava: [I'm saying she went animal-themed and got her like percy pigs and an animal bar and the animal biscuits etc and got Matty some rusks or something soz baby snacks aren't as fun and then got him some candy cigarettes] James: [we all know that'd go down amazingly well done babe & I'm saying the baby made the loudest sound when she saw her again like oh hey girl] Ava: [that would be so cute] James: [we all know they already like each other] Ava: [lbr you haven't got any competition in Chloe, all you need to do is not be a massive bitch] James: [mhhmmm I'm also saying he let Jay decide what she wanted to wear because she deserves that thank you] Ava: [when you're busy living your best life so I assume you'll be alright even if you're like hello stranger?] James: [she'd be in such a good mood thankfully] Ava: [we all deserve this to be a moment, lads] James: [even if it can't be as much of a moment as you'd both like, keep it sneaky lads] Ava: [🐍[ James: [the self control required after the day they've had and how highkey their emotions are rn] Ava: [truly, at least no adults are there to pick up on what is way more than the vibe] James: [the receptionist been knew but who's she telling] Ava: [lmao imagine the amount of people conducting sneaky affairs she stay in her lane] James: [I bet they would cos their kids could not be more distracted] Ava: [its perfect tbh] James: [100% am throwing her in the ballpit excuse us children] Ava: [must be done] James: [let him be young goddamn it, he was robbed] Ava: [be young and have fun] James: [Jau just talking about soft play constantly for the foreseeable but Chloe none the wiser lol] Ava: [gonna steal your kids and your man 'cos you don't want 'em James: [they gotta come back because not only is it a great cover it'd be a really swag soft play like better than the one Louise always goes to even because posh people] Ava: [remember on scummymummies they said that one did booze lol they've got so fancy] James: [you're missing out Chlo, soz not soz] Ava: [literally no one is soz, not even your baby] James: [the baby should have her tort with her because feels] Ava: [awh yas] James: [no other kids steal it thank you] Ava: [baby fight lmao] James: [I hope not because the mum would be so judgey cos he's young & Ava's even younger] James: [not sorry we all serving looks & living our best lives at this soft play] Ava: [no one shall bring them down rn or I'll brawl] James: [but I do hope Jay's hair is the messiest it's ever been because fuck you chloe] Ava: [i always wonder what chloe is actually doing 'cos like, nothing ever is the tea] James: [truly how much shopping can you do girl] Ava: [waiting for your fairytale in your sham of a life, like] James: [ooh Ava should do something with Jay's hair that she actually likes cos maybe she's getting annoyed at it while she's trying to play & live her best life and James is like pikachu meme what is this witchcraft but she thinks he's like 😧 how dare you for the hottest of secs] Ava: [a mood just like lowkey how dare you but also how teach me lmao] James: [just falling more in love with the bae by the second over here] Ava: [queen of understated and simple shoutout to your mother for that one] James: [yas I've always loved that about Bea] Ava: [the levels of fuss Chloe is is not a mood for anyone] James: [one of many reasons Jay hates you babe] Ava: [those poor kids she ends up having like rip] James: [I hope she only dresses James now when they are going out because lord] Ava: [poor boy not a mood] James: [especially now you got the hottest bae ever] Ava: [nothing you can do to cockblock this honey] James: [she should obvs find the fake profile like immediately though] Ava: [we can do that next] James: [& if she messages it Ava will be able to see what she's like] Ava: [the delight that is, okay letgo]

[dr-gloom]

This is Halloween (Everybody Make a Scene)

Day 2 of the Sander’s Sides Spook Month! Oi Vey

Prompt: Trick-Or-Treating

Fandom: Sander’s Sides

Paring: LAMP/CALM

Words: 4,326 (sorryyyyy)

Summary: Patton really wants to go trick-or-treating and manages to convince his boyfriends, but not everyone is as enthusiastic as him about the idea of adult trick-or-treaters. 

Tags/Warnings: genderfluid Patton, Nightmare Before Christmas all over the place, I’m not sorry, some anxiety but let’s be honest I can’t write anything with Virgil without him freaking out at some point, mean suburban mom, can anyone feel my distaste for the suburbs yet?

Enjoy!

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Patton couldn’t believe no one was going trick-or-treating this year! Sure, they were all adults, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t have fun on Halloween. For some people, this meant going to haunted houses, or throwing parties, or watching horror movies. However, Virgil’s anxiety, Logan’s too-logical standpoint, and Roman’s tendency to have vivid nightmares for days when he was scared meant that the four couldn’t exactly participate in these things. That was fine with them; they didn’t need to go to crowded, noisy parties or scare themselves on purpose. That’s why they went trick-or-treating!

At least, they used to. The four of them had practically grown up together (with the exception of meeting Virgil in middle school) and they’d always trick-or-treated together for as long as Patton could remember. The tradition even carried on into high school, though Virgil was a little more reluctant after freshman year, which confused Patton (they always managed to talk him into it at the last minute though). Now that they’d graduated and were making plans for their future, the two calmer men had taken it as a sign to stop with the tradition. It was unacceptable!

Patton had been blowing up their group text for weeks with Halloween memes and requests to join him for trick-or-treating for the past few weeks, and so far, all he’d gotten was a confirmation from Roman – who he knew would never skip out on trick-or-treating – and a series of ‘lol’s from Virgil. Logan blatantly ignored anything to do with Halloween, instead sending the other three reminders to get to bed on time, do their assignments, or set their alarms for work. And he called Patton the worrywart.

Patton huffs as he checks his phone, shouldering his bookbag as he leaves his English class. Nothing from any of his boyfriends. Of course. Virgil was either asleep - seeing as he worked nights – or doing homework weeks before it was due – and Roman was undoubtedly at the theater rehearsing. He wouldn’t answer his phone for anything short of a fire. Someone shoulder-checked Patton, muttering something about ‘inconsiderate’ and ‘phones’, but Patton chose to ignore them. He wouldn’t let one grumpy gus sour his good mood!

He sends another message then pockets his phone, heading to the cafeteria. He just had to wait until Logan got out of class and Virgil got to school. He grabs their usual table in the corner of the cafeteria and sets his stuff spread out across the table, effectively reserving the space and letting himself drift off in thought. He didn’t know how long he’d been sitting like this when someone knocked on the table, startling him out of his thoughts. He looks up, smile growing on his face as he takes in Logan standing in front of him. He jumps up, darting to the other side of the table and pulling his boyfriend into a tight hug.

“Logan! Did you get out of class early?” Logan hugs back, his hold gentle but firm. “No, I believe you were simply stuck in your thoughts again, Patton.” Patton grins, letting go of Logan and rocking back on his feet.

“Well, I can’t help it! I was thinking about you-“ Logan blushes. “-and how much fun we’re gonna have trick-or-treating!” Logan blinks, processing what Patton said and groaning. “You’re still going on about that? I thought I told you, we’re far to old to be participating in such juvenile activities.” Patton sighs softly and gives Logan his best Kicked Puppy face. He can’t say no to that!

“No, Patton.”

“… Fine.” Patton wasn’t giving up, though. He will get Logan and Virgil to agree! The two sit down, Logan sitting across from Patton, quickly launching into conversation about their classmates and crazy professors. Virgil shows up not long after, slumping into the chair beside Patton and tiredly accepting his hug.

“Hey V! Did you get lots of sleep?” Virgil shrugs, splaying out over the chair like a true Disaster Gay™. “I slept a few hours last night.” Patton pouts, slumping his shoulders. “Then what’ve you been doing all day?” Virgil looks at his lap, picking at his nails. Patton frowns. “You were pacing your room worrying again, weren’t you?” Virgil doesn’t say anything. Patton’s frown deepens and he rotates his chair to fully face Virgil, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and folding his hands together. “Come on, Virge, talk to us. What’s wrong?”

Virgil looks off at some distant corner as he speaks, unable to make eye contact. “I… Well, you want to go trick-or-treating this year…” Patton perks up slightly. “… I want to too, you know I love Halloween, but… Logan’s right. We’re too old. What if people stare at us? Or get mad at us? I don’t want some suburban mom sneering at us in front of a bunch of kids…” He shrugs, picking at his cuticles. “It’s dumb, I shouldn’t be worried about this, but I am. Sorry.”

Patton shakes his head and takes Virgil’s hands, stopping his nervous habit, his eyes drawn to the blue bracelet on Patton’s wrist. “Hey, none of that. Your worries are always valid, because they’re something that matters to you… If you really don’t want to go trick or treating this year, we don’t have to. But! If we do, it’ll be a ton of fun, whether something happens or not.” He notices Virgil’s expression, tacking on, “And if something does happen, you know me, Lo, and Ro will be right there with you to give ‘em what for!” He pulls back to mime an upper cut and Virgil snrks. Patton’s smile re-appears, and he squeezes the hand he’s still holding. “Whatever you decide to do, I’ll respect your decision, okay?”

Virgil squeezes back, a slight smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “Thanks, Pat.”

After that, the three boyfriends chat about school, the more resigned mood of the previous conversation quickly forgotten. Logan has to head to astrology not long after, bidding Patton and Virgil farewell and promising to stop by Patton’s apartment tomorrow. Once he’s gone, Patton turns back to Virgil, his bright smile turning to something softer.

“You doing okay now?”

Virgil nods, glancing at his hands. “Yeah… you sure you’d be okay with not trick or treating, though? I know you were really looking forward to it.” Patton’s mouth quirks to the side and he shrugs. “Well, I’ll be kinda bummed, because it’s super fun, but I’d much rather be with you guys than walking around by myself for candy I can buy. It’s about the experience.” He wiggles his eyebrows at Virgil. “But if we do,” He leans over and whispers in Virgil’s ear, smirking when the other shivers. “I have a feeling you’ll really like my costume.” When he sits back, Virgil’s face is absolutely red. Virgil pulls his hood up and ducks his head down, grumbling under his breath about ‘unfair sexy assholes’. Patton laughs, standing up and patting Virgil on the head.

“I gotta head to class, but I’ll see you tomorrow?” Virgil nods. “Yeah Pat, see you tomorrow.” Patton leans down as Virgil tilts his head up, the two sharing a brief kiss before Patton runs off to class. Virgil was practically guaranteed to come trick-or-treating now! Maybe Logan will be easier to convince now that he’s the only one resisting.

Patton paces their living room, practically vibrating with excitement. Their boyfriends were coming over!

Okay, so they came over pretty much every free day they had, and they saw Logan and Virgil at school at least three times a week, but still! They’re coming over! And they love them so much! And they were all going to have fun, watch movies, and (if Roman brought over his manipedi set like last time) do their nails! Patton glances at the purple bracelet on their wrist, the stamped-on words reading ‘they/them’. They’d been a gift from Logan when Patton came out as genderfluid. They had a purple one for they/them days, which they were wearing now, a blue one for he/him days, and a pink one for she/her days.

Maybe they’ll have Roman paint their nails purple this time.

A knock sounds at the door, and Patton rushes to answer it, yanking the door open and bouncing on the balls of their feet. Virgil stood on the other side of the doorway, hunched in on himself with his hands shoved in his pockets. His bulky headphones sat around his neck, meaning Virgil was feeling more anxious than usual; he had earbuds, but he used the headphones when he was feeling particularly anxious – they blocked out noise better and made it obvious he didn’t want people talking to him. Patton steps aside, chewing on their lip slightly.

“Kiddo, you know you can just walk in! This apartment is just as much mine as it is any of yours.” Virgil shrugs, sitting on the coffee table. “I know, I just feel weird walking into other people’s homes, even if that person is my-“ He hesitates slightly, and Patton just catches the movement of his eyes glancing down at their wrist. “-datemate. Actually, that makes it more awkward; what if you were making out with Roman? I’ve been humiliated enough.” Patton laughs at that, feeling their cheeks heat up slightly. “Okay, I get it. How about next time you text me and I’ll let you know if it’s safe?”

Virgil nods, propping his feet on the couch. “Sure, sounds good.” He looks around for a moment before adding, “Any idea when the others are going to get here, by the way?” Patton pulls out their phone. “Lo said he’d be here soon, and that was fifteen minutes ago, but you know how he can be.” Virgil chuckles. “Roman said he has to finish running through lines, so he’ll be here around noon. Which is in…” They check their cat wall clock, despite having a phone in their hand. “Twenty minutes!”

Virgil nods, and Patton sits on the couch, starting up a movie. Virgil turns around, sitting criss-cross on the coffee table, and leans back so his head is in Patton’s lap. His chest is hanging precariously in mid-air, making Patton laugh as they card their fingers through Virgil’s plumb-pigmented hair. They’re twenty minutes into the movie when Logan walks in, knocking on the door as he opens it. Patton grins at him from the couch and looks at Virgil’s upside-down face. “See? Lo gets it.” Virgil just sticks his tongue out, making Patton laugh as they turn their attention back to Logan. “Hey Lo! We’re just watching Nightmare Before Christmas, you wanna join?” Logan looks at the TV as he sits in the armchair. “I take it we’re waiting on Roman, then?” The two on the couch nod and Logan sighs softly. “Well, as far as Disney goes, I suppose we could do a lot worse than Nightmare Before Christmas.” Patton claps excitedly and goes to unpause the movie, jumping when the door suddenly opens.

“I want adventure in the great wide somewhere  ̴!”

Virgil smirks. “Then go, no one’s stopping you.”

Roman flops down on the couch, his head on Patton’s shoulder. “But not today ‘cause I am tired ̴.” Patton pats Roman’s head. “Bad day at work?” Roman sighs, shrugging softly. “There’s no such thing as a bad day in theater! But if there was… This would definitely fall into that category.” Patton makes an upset sound, hugging Roman. Virgil sits up and turns around to face the other three, looking at Roman. “What happened? I didn’t think theater nerds ever had bad days; all of you are always way too energetic and happy.” Roman laughs slightly, shaking his head. “It was sort of a Murphy’s Law kind of day. The costumes came back from the cleaners with some sort of disgusting residue on them that we can’t get off, my co-star fell off the stage and got a concussion, the director’s partner is in the hospital… No one could focus, and we’re performing next week.”

Virgil and Logan share a look as Patton rushes to make Roman feel better. “Don’t worry Ro! I’m sure everything will sort itself out and you guys will have a great show!” Roman doesn’t look like he believes them, so they continue. “You know what’d help distract you? Planning for trick-or-treating!” Roman perks up, looking between his partners. “You got them to say yes? We’re going?” Logan shot Patton a look, though the latter didn’t seem too guilty.

“I have agreed to no such thing. Both myself and Virgil have agreed-“

“Actually…. I kind of, maybe, want to go…” Patton and Roman wear twin looks of enthusiasm, and Logan looks at Virgil like he just took the last copy of Sherlock Holmes. “I know, okay. I know. But… They really wanna do it, and we always have fun… So why not? At least one last time.” Patton glances between Logan and Virgil, holding their breath. Roman bounces slightly on the couch, bad day all but forgotten. Logan looks between the other three and sighs, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “… Fine. Are we doing group costumes this year?”

His question was nearly drowned out by enthusiastic cheering.

Virgil messed with the fabric of his costume, wishing (not for the first time that evening) that he didn’t care about authenticity. This thing was itchy as hell. He looks up in the mirror, plucking at the burlap to pull it away from his arms. His body was thankfully protected by the pillows he was using as stuffing; The Boogey Man was pretty fat for a sack full of bugs. He checked his makeup one last time to make sure it was okay, thankful that it was supposed to be cold tonight and that he wouldn’t be overheating.

“Virge, come on! We’re going to miss all the candy!”

“Patently impossible; people often buy more candy than they could ever hope to distribute to avoid that dilemma.”

“Don’t logic me, Logan! You’re supposed to be Lock, stay in character!”

“I am; Lock is arguably the smartest of the three, next to Shock.”

Virgil shuts his door behind him, joining the other three in the living room. “So Patton’s the smartest, is what you’re saying.” Roman laughs, and Patton tries to stifle a laugh, wrist showing off a pink bracelet. Logan rolls his eyes.

“You know as well as I that Patton is Shock because she is having a ‘she day’, as we have grown to call it. She was going to be Barrel.” Roman throws an arm around Patton’s shoulders, leaning his weight against her slightly. “Well, she does look cute in that little witch dress, don’t you think?” Virgil looks at Patton’s costume, cheeks pinking slightly. He was ninety percent sure Shock’s dress was not supposed to be that short, or tight. Patton also had a wig on under her witch’s hat, styled to look more like Shock’s crazy hair. It’d taken almost an entire can of hair spray for Roman to get that right, but she looked great, Virgil had to admit.

“I was gonna be Shock even if this was a he or they day, and you know it! You’d never wear this dress, Lo.” Logan rolls his eyes again, adjusting his glasses.

“Yes, well, perhaps we should get going? Roman was insisting on not wasting anymore time.”

Roman jumps to attention, heading for the door. “Right! Off we go, gentleman! And lady.” He adds, winking at Patton and making her giggle. Virgil plucks at the burlap one last time before looking back at his apartment, standing in the doorway. He better not regret this.

They’d been out for about an hour now, methodically weaving their way through the local neighborhoods. Virgil had been extremely anxious in the beginning, hanging in the back of their little group and staying quiet whenever children would pass with their parents. After enough spontaneous singing (Roman) and peppy jokes and stories (Patton), he’d begun to calm down enough to really enjoy himself. Currently, they were headed down the block, skipping a few houses in favor of making their way to the richer neighborhoods; some kid had told Roman there were full-sized candy bars.

The divide between the social classes was apparent in the decorations; those with plenty of money and financial security were more comfortable blowing cash on fancy decorations like animatronic zombies or demon children. Virgil could see the first houses just ahead when he started catching the stares. And the whispers. The children pointing fingers. Parents squinting or shaking their heads. Virgil looked at the ground, a ball of embarrassment and shame tainting his previously good mood.

Patton noticed Virgil’s sudden silence and looked around, apparently catching on to the same thing as Virgil and hooking her arm in his burlap-clad one. “Hey.” Virgil looks up, eyebrows knit in a silent question. “It’s okay. It’s like Dr. Seuss said! Those who mind don’t matter. Right? Let’s have some fun, Virge.” Virgil looks at Patton’s face, pale with Halloween makeup, and nods. “Right. Sorry, Pat.” Patton just smiles and pats Virgil’s arm, walking with him behind Logan and Roman, who were debating the validity of a malevolent spirit attached to a body of water.

The first couple houses they’d visited did in fact have full-sized candy bars. The homeowners had given the four adults slightly strained smiles with the shouts of “trick-or-treat!” but had handed over the candy nonetheless. Virgil suspected it had something to do with there being children around; they didn’t want to ruin the Halloween spirit by yelling at people in costume. He shrugged it off, repeating Patton’s words in his head. Those who mind don’t matter.

The next block or so was full of less-than-pleased adults, muttering comments under their breath that even had Patton frowning a little under her mask that came with the Shock costume. They still got candy, though it was becoming increasingly hard to ignore the stares they were getting, or the comments being thrown in their direction passive-aggressively. Virgil squeezed his eyes shut briefly to ward off the negativity. Those who mind don’t matter.

The next couple houses shut their doors as soon as they saw Virgil and his partners.

Those who mind don’t matter.

Patton didn’t let it get to him, insisting to the others that there’d be more houses further down the road. Besides, they still had the rest of the regular neighborhoods! Those who mind don’t matter.

Roman had been telling the other three about the past week of rehearsals, or tech week, as they called it. Virgil was looking over at him over Patton’s shoulder as they all walked, not bothering with the thin sidewalks and instead travelling down the road like many parent groups did with their children. They’d been passing one such group as Roman monologued, waving his hands around. Virgil hadn’t been paying attention and ended up bumping someone with his shoulder, turning to apologize.

“Ah, shi- sorry about that, I-“

“Are you kidding me?” The woman turned to face him, glaring at him with a force Virgil would have thought completely unnecessary if his brain hadn’t just short-circuited.

“I- what?”

By this point, both groups had stopped, noticing the two had stopped. Logan kept Roman and Patton back, watching silently to see if the situation would evolve. The other parents stood behind the woman, keeping their children corralled as she went off on Virgil, who’d already begun to panic.

“Seriously, how old are you? And you’re out here trick-or-treating like some kid? That’s so immature! Not only that, it’s incredibly rude to the children! You’re taking their candy! Don’t you have a job, you little freeloader? Go get your own! What would your mom think if she could see you right now? You should be ashamed of yourself!”

That was enough for Roman. He pushed Logan out of the way, standing between Virgil and the woman. “That’s enough. You have no right to talk to him like that.” The woman scoffed, looking back to the other parents for a moment before turning back to Roman as Patton walked over and wrapped her arms around Virgil. “You all need to get your brains checked. This is a kid’s holiday, you don’t have the right to interfere with that! Grow up!” Logan joined Roman, his shoulders tense as he regarded the woman with cold indifference.

“I believe it is you who needs to ‘grow up’, madam. My partners and I were simply having a pleasant night. We haven’t bothered anyone who wasn’t okay with this. Several doors have been shut in our face, and we chose to simply walk away rather than demand compensation, as I have seen you do at the house of those lovely Jehovah’s Witnesses. You do realize they don’t celebrate any holiday, don’t you? That was incredibly childish and rude.”

The woman has the sense to look slightly embarrassed at that, and one glance at the other parents shows that they were pretty much in agreement with Logan but hadn’t said anything. Patton joins her boyfriends, still hugging Virgil, whose head is ducked down to hide his face in the hood of his costume (he was glad he’d refused a costume without a hood now). “Yeah! Why do you have to be so mean? He said he was sorry he bumped into you; he’s the sweetest guy I know! I think you need to say you’re sorry.” The woman sputters, looking affronted. “E-excuse me? Apologize? I didn’t-“

“You’re right, you didn’t apologize. That’s not very nice of you, miss. Don’t you want to be a good example for your kiddos?” Patton had that look on her face when she was determined to stand up for something, no matter the cost.

“Mom, seriously, just apologize so we can go? I want more candy.”

Thoroughly embarrassed, the woman stutters her was through an apology. Virgil mutters, “no big” and turns to keep walking, heading toward home. Both groups depart, Logan, Roman and Patton following Virgil with concerned looks. They finally catch up to Virgil at the end of the block, and Roman grabs his shoulder, spinning him around. He still hasn’t looked up from the ground, his hair and the hood obscuring his face. “Hey, come on Storm Cloud, what’s wrong?” Virgil shrugs out of Roman’s hold. “I just wanna go home, okay?” Patton and Roman share a worried look. “Okay… How about we head back to my place and watch Halloween movies?” Virgil shrugs, scuffing his shoe on the asphalt. “Fine, okay. Sure.”

The four head to Roman’s house, Patton holding Virgil’s hand the whole way back and not letting go until they walked through the front door. Logan sat on one end of the couch, and Roman on the other, leaving only the middle cushion for Virgil. He knew what they were up to, sitting between them with a roll of his eyes. Roman wrapped an arm around his shoulder, tucking Virgil’s head into his shoulder and running his fingers through the other’s hair. Logan took one of his hands, running his thumb along Virgil’s palm. Virgil closed his eyes, already feeling himself relax as the title screen for Nightmare Before Christmas played and Patton sat on the floor, leaning back against Virgil’s legs.

They weren’t even ten minutes into the movie when Virgil finally opened his eyes and spoke up. “I’m sorry, guys.” The movie was paused, and all three turned to face Virgil. “For what?” Virgil wasn’t exactly sure who asked; he refused to look up from his lap, and his pulse in his ears was making it hard to hear. Why were heartfelt moments so hard? He chewed on his lip for a moment, trying to force the words out past where they’d gotten stuck in his throat. The others waited patiently, watching Virgil try to draw up the courage to voice his thoughts.

“For ruining Halloween for you guys.”

Roman and Patton open their mouths to object, but Virgil cuts them off; now that he’d managed to say that much, the rest just came flooding out. “I know you were really looking forward to trick-or-treating, especially since we haven’t done it in a few years, and I just made you all come home because I couldn’t get over what one dumb parent said to me. You even said it yourself, Patton; those who mind don’t matter. It shouldn’t matter to me, but it does for some reason and I can’t get it out of my head. I feel like an idiot-.” Virgil’s voice chokes off as he feels tears well in his eyes. Great, first he ruins trick-or-treating, and now he’s going to cry. Perfect, good job, Virgil.

Roman tightens his hold on Virgil, and Logan resumes stroking his palm gently. Patton takes his free hand, drawing his focus. “Virgil. Do you remember what I said when I was trying to convince you and Lo to go trick-or-treating with me and Ro?” Virgil tried to think back. “…Your costume was gonna be hot?” Patton laughs and shakes her head. “Well, yeah, but not what I meant. I said I’d rather sit inside watching movies all night than trick-or-treating, if it was with all of you. Remember?” Virgil nods, cheeks slightly pink. Patton smiles. “I meant it, Virge. If I have you three, I’m fine watching grass grow!” Virgil laughs softly.

“Okay, I get it…. Thanks, Pat. Thanks guys.” The other two nods silently, cuddling closer to Virgil. As verbose as Roman could be, Patton was better at truly expressing how they all felt. Especially at times like this. Patton turns back to the TV, unpausing the movie and singing along to What’s This. Virgil’s smile softens his face as he closes his eyes again, truly allowing himself to relax in the presence of his boyfriends and non-binary datemate. Maybe tonight hadn’t been so bad after all.

[batboys-and-other-messes]

Okay but a headcanon that one time Dick lost a bet and had to go get a manipedi with Babs, Steph, and Cass. Turned out he absolutely loved it (got all his nails painted black with Nightwing designs) and now goes with them at LEAST once a year if not more often.

This is so perfect… the only thing I want to add is that Cass lost the bet with him and this is the only reason she would get a mani-pedi bc Steph asked (forced) her to.

Also, I can so see it being Nightwing themed and he would be so impressed like “How did she paint such details on my nails?!” 

Also consider: “Bruce, touch my feet! They are so soft!

“Dick, we need to talk about your professionalism while in uniform…”

“But Brooooose”