#he does the pining look so well - that's an ACTOR right there

[divineandmajesticinone]

25 Ji, Akasaka de (2024) I 1.04 "Wanna rehearse our kiss scene?"

[h2llish]

⁀➷ ˖ anonymous sender

notes ─── happy birthday sapphy @shinysparklesapphires love you little sib :3 hope you like it

VIL SCHOENHEIT ─ a secret admirer and the language of flowers.

warnings ♡ fluff, gender neutral, mutual pining, lowercase intended

vil would not call himself a coward. he has his faults, and he's done things he's not proud of ─ but he does not run away, and he does not avoid his problems. whether it was as a child when the other children failed to understand the difference between fiction and reality, or when he found the duties of a model, actor, housewarden, and student, troubling to handle at times; he's always faced it head on and found a solution ─ he never ran away.

but his problems have never been romantic.

vil has never experienced romantic feelings for anyone (and he's quite sure no one has caught real romantic feelings for him before either). he's never had a crush ─ he's never been close with anyone enough to gain such feelings before. when it comes to romance and feelings, he's, simply put, lost.

and he's learned that, that scares him. ─ catching feelings for you scares him.

but vil knows he can't be a coward forever. ─ at least that's what he tells himself, even though he's not so against the thought of leaving his feelings to simmer and boil and itch at his skin unbearably, to which he would only ignore them completely.

but that is not who vil schoenheit is ─ he has to face it eventually. he has to accept that he has feelings for you; he has to do something to put his feelings to rest, to face them. to tell you how he feels so that he may face rejection, or your own feelings that returned his.

perhaps it was selfish of him ─ confessing to you when there could be a possibility that you returned his feelings. (there has to be, right? he was one of the people you would actively seek out, one of the people you admitted to being the most comfortable with. surely there is a possibility you feel as he does?)

vil did not know romance outside of the media ─ he grew up raised by only his father, who had no romantic interest in his life, so vil had no one to look to. he did not know how to go about his feelings for you, and the ideas rook came up with were of no help (they scared him). he thought to ask his father once, but did not want to bother him with his love life (and risk his father asking to meet you when vil could hardly manage to calm the way his heart tore at his chest in your presence).

vil has never wondered what love would feel like; he has never wondered if he would be in a relationship in the future. he has always had a thought, an idea, as to what he wanted his future to look like, to perhaps one day be behind the camera, to one day be casted as the hero. falling for someone was not among that idea of his future.

he doesn't know quite how long he had feelings for you ─ when it was only just a crush that could have been fleeting before it turned into something more. when he realized his feelings for you were so real, he, admittedly wished to ignore them. he didn't think exploring his feelings for you would end well, you were from a world that wasn't there's after all. ─ but, in the end, he supposes selfishness won him over; or perhaps he underestimated how unbearable it was to leave you feelings to boil over like an unattended pot on a stove and loathed to handle the spill.

regardless of the reason, he was planning out his confession with the same thought he'd put into brewing potions for class. (and he realizes that perhaps he is a coward, for the choices he makes are quite cowardly.)

white daisies

getting up that morning, you hadn't expected anything to be any different. you did as you always; get up, ignore grim's complaints, get ready and wait for ace and deuce to show up to walk to class together as you did every morning.

so when you heard a knock on the door, you didn't think anything of it, expecting the heartslabyul duo to be waiting outside. ready to hear a complaint about you taking too long to answer, as ace always did regardless of how much time really passed. ─ but you were surprised when you were met with, not the couple of freshmen you called friends, but a ghost and a vase of flowers with an envelope attached to it, your name in beautiful (familiar) handwriting written on the front.

"delivery for [name]!"

"uh─" you gasped as the vase was pushed into your arms, quickly positioning it so it didn't fall before looking back at the ghost, ready to leave you with questions. "wait um," you said, looking between the vase of white flowers in your hands and the ghost who was dressed for delivery, "who is this from?"

the ghosts smiled, "i was told it was from an anonymous sender!" and then the ghosts turned away and was gone, leaving you standing in your doorway with a vase in your hands and your face twisted in confusion.

"anonymous sender?" you repeated to yourself, backing away from the door and closing it behind you, before making your way back into the lounge. you set the vase on the table and sat back on the couch with the envelope in hand. you stared at the flowers for a while, trying to guess as to who would send you flowers, one's that looked fresh and were certainly real.

giving up on guessing, you finally thought to open the envelope with you name on it. you recognized the handwriting, but couldn't quite pin it to someone, thoughts drawing a blank the longer you looked at your name.

"what's that?" you flinched at the interruption, turning to the ghost leaning over your shoulder with a smile of mischief. you glared at the ghost while the other two appeared over the table, examining the flowers.

"does our prefect have a secret admirer?" one of them asked, laughing and drawing closer to try and take a peek at the envelope you were just about to open.

you sighed and rolled your eyes, pulling the envelope close to you, "shut up. go make sure grim is up."

they snickered, but still listened to you, vanishing in a haze and leaving you to your own.

you shook your head, and looked back down at the envelope, sealed by purple wax with a stamp shaped in a crown. you squinted your eyes at the wax as you pressed your thumb against it to break it. when you finally had the contents in your hand, a letter written in the same familiar handwriting, you set the envelope on the table beside the flowers, before leaning back and holding the letter up to read.

white daises can mean many things when given to a person. they symbolize innocence and purity, but to you, i give them as they are often associated with first love.

i understand any confusion you might have receiving these, and i also understand if you let these flowers wither. don't worry, i am not giving them to you so you may coddle them, i only wish to get my feelings across.

i do not intend on revealing myself, not yet. perhaps, you already have an idea, or perhaps you're staring at this letter with reservation. but i hope you can come to accept my feelings for you as genuine, as i have after too long wondering what it is i felt.

you are the first person to stir these feelings inside me, [name]. you are my first love.

"hold up," you let your hands fall in your lap, the letter still in your grip, blinking exaggeratedly at the paper. "what?"

"hold on, wait," ace grinned at you, and you narrowed your eyes at him in return. you had only brought up the flowers you received as a passing comment, just to see if perhaps they knew anything about it. but you forgot that ace was not a helpful individual. "you have a secret admirer?"

you stabbed a fork into your food and rolled your eyes, "it seems that way."

"who is it?"

"it's a secret admirer ace." epel said, nudging an elbow into his side, "they're not supposed to know."

ace pushed the boy away with a glare, "i mean," he looked back at you, "do you have an idea of who it is?"

you paused, thinking back to the handwriting and the purple wax stamped with a crown. you finally looked back up at the heartslabyul first year and shook your head, "no. no idea."

ace sighed, exaggerating, but before he could say anything else, epel was pushing his head down. ace pushed epel off, ready to complain, but the pomefiore first year had already turned to look at you, "ignore him, prefect."

"i'm sure whoever it is, will reveal themselves eventually, right?" deuce asked, "that's how this stuff works, doesn't it?"

"this stuff?" ace scoffed, "jeez, deuce, this isn't a movie."

"i know that!"

you stopped listening as an argument broke out between ace and deuce, rolling your eyes and turning back to your food.

you didn't know who had sent those flowers ─ you think, you have an idea but ─ you were skeptical. the handwriting was very familiar, and the crown gave a lot away; but you felt almost foolish accusing someone like him of sending you flowers ─ of confessing his love for you in a letter without even signing it off.

pink carnations

the next time you received flowers from the anonymous sender was the next morning ─ greeted with the same ghost from before, this time with a vase of pink flowers.

"what's that?" grim had asked, awake to watch you receive the gift unlike the day before. he followed you as you set it down on the lounge table and watched as you removed an envelope tucked between the flowers, looking it over with your lips pursed.

climbing onto the table, grim circled the vase for a moment before looking at you again as you began to open the envelope, "ace called 'em a secret admirer, right? is that who these are from?" you didn't give a verbal answer, but you did give him a nod, focused more on the letter you were now reading over.

pink carnations have a number of meanings, fondness, elegance, admiration, and gratitude.

i am grateful for what you have done for me. despite my actions, you tried to help me in a time where you would have the right to let me stew in the regret of what i've done. you lent me a hand and stayed silent in a time where my career relied on it.

perhaps offering you the help i did at the time was my way of repaying you; or perhaps it was simply my feelings developing into more.

it is only the second time i've sent you flowers, and yet i do not think i'm doing well at remaining a secret. maybe you've caught on, maybe you haven't.

regardless, thank you [name].

you squinted your eyes at the letter, taking a moment to think to yourself as the ghosts joined grim. perhaps they were waiting for you to let them know what the contents of the letter said (you wouldn't, you don't think it would be appropriate, nor do you think your admirer would be fond of your choice if you did).

"okay," you sighed, folding the letter and tucking it back into the envelope carefully. you grabbed the vase of pink carnations and stood, tucking the envelope under your arm for safekeeping and turning away to exit the lounge.

"whatcha doin'?" grim asked as he jumped off the table to follow you. you didn't answer him as you turned a corner to a hall leading to many empty dorm rooms, staring down at the flowers with a thoughtful look. ─ and you made a mental note to visit the library later.

"so," you didn't have to look at ace to know he was grinning as he took a seat beside you, his arm thrown over your shoulders, and his free hand poking your cheek. you swatted his hand away and glared at him from the corner of your eye, but that didn't dissuade the heart. "i heard your admirer struck again."

you scoffed, placing your hand on ace's face and pushing him away from you, "get off."

"oh come on," ace backed away and you removed your hand, but his teasing smile didn't fade. "so what was it this time?"

"carnations."

"what?" ace asked.

"hold on." epel pulled out his phone, typing into it before he turned it to face you and ace, showing the flowers you had received that morning in different colors. "these?"

"yeah," you nodded, "pink ones."

ace hummed as he examined the flowers on epel's phone, before leaning back, hands clasped behind his head, "you think they'll send you more tomorrow?"

you took a moment to answer, but eventually shrugged in response, "probably."

red roses

your secret admirer (although you're quite sure you were well aware of who it was now) did send you flowers the next morning ─ roses.

ace and deuce were there this time around ─ so they got to see you set the roses on the table in front of the couche in the lounge while you sat back with another envelope, sealed by purple wax and stamped with a crown.

"roses, huh?" ace leaned over the table to look at the flowers, reaching down to take one from the vase. but deuce had quickly slapped his hand away, and glared at his dormmate.

"these are for the prefect, ace."

"i wasn't going to mess with them!" ace scowled at the spade.

you rolled your eyes, opting to ignore the duo as you broke the seal and removed the letter from inside.

hello, [name],

perhaps you were expecting these by now. i wonder if you're suspicious of me yet. i can't say i've been very good at staying anonymous, my last letter i had realized too late revealed quite a bit than i intended.

you haven't approached me, so i almost thought you perhaps hadn't caught my mistake. but i doubt it, you likely were already suspicious, weren't you? my last letter probably confirmed what you were thinking, i imagine.

red roses are the natural flower a person would give to the individual they're infatuated with. they're a universal symbol for romance. i sent you seven red roses, meaning secret love, admiration from afar, affection from a secret admirer ─ however you wish to view it, that is my intention. regardless of how secret my admiration is now.

"hey, prefect, what does that say?" ace asked, leaning over to catch a peek at the words, but you were already leaning away and folding the letter back up to tuck into the envelope.

"none of your business, ace."

you grabbed the roses as you stood from the couch, but before you left to place the flowers and the letter in your room, you turned to the duo, "i need your guys help with something, okay?"

the boys looked at each other, sending you a similar questioning glance, as ace shrugged and nodded slowly, "uh, okay."

red chrysanthemums

the sky had turned a mix of yellows and oranges when everyone had finally begun to return to their dorms, wrapping up any study sessions or dorm activities they had been busy with prior. and it was no different for vil, who had just returned to his dorm after helping his club members pack up for the day.

it was only a few minutes after he'd entered to his room, that there was a knock. still dressed in his uniform, he approached his door, expecting it to be one of his dormmates, likely there to ask him for help with something. ─ but that wasn't the case as he opened the door to reveal epel, a bouquet of red flowers in his arms; chrysanthemums, vil recognized. epel held out the bouquet, and vil noticed the envelope tucked in the middle of it.

"someone asked me to give these to you."

vil narrowed his eyes as he took the bouquet from his underclassman, "who, exactly?"

"uh," epel paused, glancing off to the side with a quick shrug of his shoulders, "they didn't say. well, bye!" and before vil could question him any further, epel quickly turned and walked away, almost nearing a jog.

vil had half a mind to stop him and maybe scold him for running off but reserved that for later as he sighed and shook his head, shutting the door while remaining careful of the bouquet in his hand. he removed the letter from the bundle of flowers as he set them on his desk, before taking a seat in his chair.

the envelope wasn't sealed, and there was no writing on the front to give away the sender. with a confused hum, he opened the envelope and pulled out the letter tucked inside.

it didn't take much time to recognize the handwriting on the paper.

hey vil!

i don't really know how to start this. did you know red chrysanthemums mean "i love you"? you probably did, since you're the one sending me these flowers and telling me their meanings but i still thought it was nice, fitting to send too!

i love the flowers you sent, by the way. they're very pretty. but they probably won't last very long, i'm not very good at caring for plants. i'll try to keep them alive as long as possible though!

i forgot what i wanted to say, this letter was supposed to start off a lot differently, sorry about that.

well, you were right. sorry if i kinda interrupted your whole plan with this secret admirer thing. did you have more plans? well, still, you were probably expecting this. or maybe you weren't, and that means i surprised you!

i forgot where i was going with this again. don't laugh at me, although you probably are. too bad i'm not there to see that, i think you're really pretty when you laugh. well, i think you're pretty regardless, actually. you probably already know that too. you're told that a lot, aren't you?

oh, wait, i went off track again, sorry about that. this is getting long so let me end it here.

i love you too vil, hopefully we can say this in person instead of through flowers and letters. tomorrow, maybe? i'll be in the botanical garden, near where trey grows his strawberries. see you then!

not a secret admirer, [name].

it wasn't part of the plan, but vil can't say he has any complaints.

this didn't go exactly as planned and it was meant to be much longer but um, i kinda forgot what other flowers i intended on using, and uh yeah i don't know what happened. still hope you like it sapphy!!

do not repost, translate, copy, or run my writing through ai

[tpwkwriter]

PLEASEE do one when H and y/n are at Harrys DWD premier and Chris pine is very flirty with y/n and looky with her and harry just gets protective and does all the things he can do to prove to him that y/n is his, pleaseee that would be so cute

you.

Didn’t he just look so dreamy this day? 😭thanks for the request bc I’m actually crying of how cute this concept acc is😫 enjoy!❤️

PLEASE NOTE: I am aware Chris pine would never hit on a taken woman this is for story purposes only!!!!🫶🏼

Warnings: jealousy, cussing, some flirty behaviour, angstyyyy, upset Harry 😭, fluffy ending!!!

— — — — —

It was a sunny day in Venice, the sky was a light blue, the sunshine was really doing its thing, it was a perfect day to be a plus one at Venice film festival.

When y/n heard about Harry’s upcoming physiological thriller ‘don’t worry darling’ she was ecstatic.

Every moment in his crazy career she was there for she hadn’t missed a a single thing.

“Y’not joining me for the carpet?” He asks realising her hand was no longer locked in his.

“This is your moment H, m’happy to watch” she smiled.

He glanced over to the carpet to which Chris pine, gemma chan and nick kroll were already occupying.

“I wouldn’t have done with film without you lovie, c’mon” he said pressing a kiss to her forehead and taking her hand once more.

“Fine” she sighed.

When Harry revealed them from the black curtain that shielded them from the world, the mixed audience of fans, film enthusiasts, paparazzi and journalists, erupted into cheers and heckles.

“Harry, Harry over here!”

“Harry we have questions for you!”

And to y/n’s surprise even some directed to her.

“Y/n you look beautiful”

“Y/n are you proud of this movie”

In a loving and protective manner Harry slid his arm around the girls waist and guided her next to Chris for photos to be taken.

As the main cast/crew member pictures had been taken, Gemma went off to have an interview? Nick found himself speaking to Harry which left y/n and Chris still next to each other.

“You Look good y/n” Chris says turning to the girl now having his full attention.

“Oh Chris, thank you! You don’t scrub up to bad either!” She playful gested

“Y/n, Chris come over we have some questions!!” a male reporter chanted.

Chris placed his palm on the lower of y/n’s back and walked towards the reporter.

Harry took a glance back at where he thought y/n was, a panic filled his mind when he couldn’t see her or Chris.

“Don’t panic mate she’s right there with Chris” nick noted making him turn the opposite direction.

“How did you-?” He asked.

“I know you too well, she’s all you think about” nick laughed.

Harry turned to his girl who spoke to the microphone the man was holding towards her.

Watching her do the most simple stuff made Harry realise how lucky he truly was.

The only thing he was sure of is the eyes of the one and only Chris pine staring her down.

Now, Harry wasn’t normally a jealous type but when a man like Chris appears, he can’t help but feel like he has no chance.

“Yeah, no y/n has been great! She delivered us all hot coffee and if we were lucky then donuts” Chris laughs thinking about the fond memories there shared through the filming.

Chrises hand slowly rubbed up and down her exposed arm as she spoke.

That did not go unnoticed by Harry.

“But filming was super fun to watch and seeing the movie made it all really worth it! I mean everyone involved did great”

“And it’s amazing seeing the actors behind the-“

Harry had snaked his muscular arms around her waist forcing Chris’s to remove his, and pressing a sweet kiss to her cheek.

“Oh hi Harry” she giggled

“Carry on Angel” he reassured.

“As I was saying yeah- um it was really interesting seeing behind the scenes”

Harry continued pressing mini kisses to her cheek and using his thumb to slowly trace her waist.

“The world is going to go crazy over this” the camera man laughed.

Y/n blushed and placed her hands on top of Harry’s.

Once the interview was over Harry pulled the girl close to his chest.

“Y’do know the world can see us” she said giving into his touch nonetheless.

“Oh well, at least the world know y’mine” he emphasised.

“Hey guys” a familiar deep voice chimed.

“Hey man” Harry replied reluctantly letting go of his girl.

“You 2 joining us for some fine dining?” He said straightening his blazer and hair.

“You up for it baby?” Harry asked looking back to his girl

“Oh yeah of course” she smiled.

“Great well I guess I’ll see you then!” He said patting her arm and heading off into the posh car to be taken to the location.

“God he has a thing for you” Harry said annoyingly with a roll to his eyes.

“Harry” she laughed

“Chris pine has a thing for me?” She continued.

“Mmm not sure about that love” she giggled.

Y/n wrapped her arm around his waist.

“I love you” she mumbled into his side.

“Love you too”

— — — — —

The cast of ‘DWD’ sat around a table that was located in one of Venice’s fanciest restaurant and poshest experiences.

Y/n couldn’t deny Harry had looked devilishly handsome the whole day and despite being next to the idols like Chris and Nick she only had eyes for him and will only have eyes for him.

Y/n was sandwiches between Harry and Chris with jemma, Nick opposite with Florence and Sydney head of the table.

“I love the material of your dress y/n” Chris nonchalantly mumbled while running his fingers on the red satin dress.

“Yeah it’s nice right, don’t you look beautiful baby” Harry was quick to say pressing a kiss on her temple.

“Where is it from?” Chris asked.

“Oh this is-“ y/n started.

“This is Gucci isn’t it darling? My very own collection tailored and measured especially for her” Harry spoke.

“Yeah, yeah that he did” y/n bash fully laughed.

“Wow! That’s crazy, I’m invited actually to be one of Guccis models for next month’s catalog” Chris bragged maintaining eye contact with Harry.

“Maybe you two should do a fashion collab” y/n mentioned taking a sip of her wine.

“100%” Chris mumbled into his napkin that he delicately patted around his lips.

The rest of the night went down a blast the girls shared laughter and gossip as the evening went on, Harry and the rest of the boys managed to have a conversation and the dining experience itself was great.

Harry just couldn’t take his eyes off of what Chris was to do next.

While y/n was speaking to Gemma who was adjacent to her Harry noticed Chrises heart eyes.

“Oh it’s lovely, me and Harry went a few years back missed it ever since” she began

“Where’s this y/n?” Chris interrupted.

Harry noticed the sudden interruption due to him, he placed his palm on her knee and gave it a light squeeze in a way to show he’s sorry for the interruption.

“Oh just telling Gemma about almafi coast, me and H went a few years ago” she smiled turning back to hemme and continuing her story.

As y/n carried on her conversation, it was the little things that Harry noticed. The way Chris would look from her dress all the way to her eyes, the way he would bite his lip when he had his attention. It was driving him mad.

“And so i Definitely thin-“ y/n started

“Y/n, I have to say your looking beautiful tonight” Chris blurted.

“You interrupted her to say that?” Harry said placing his arm on the back of y/n’s chair and leaning forward to meet eyes with Chris.

“Harry-“ she warned.

“Is a compliment a bad thing?” He answered back.

The tone in the both the boys caused the table to turn to the three of them.

“When I’m right here yeah” Harry scoffed.

“Harry-baby-“

“All I’m doing is complimenting her, something I haven’t seen you do all night” he laughed, causing the rest of the table to watch in shock, those who knew Harry knew when it comes to his lovie there’s no messing.

“Chris” Nick gasped.

“M’not hearing this all night, I’ll be outside y/n” and with that Harry rose from his seat and made his way to the exit of the restaurant.

A cold chill blew over y/n’s spine, this escalated from 0-100 very quickly.

“All over a compliment?!” He laughed taking a swig of his whiskey.

“I should go see him-“ Nick offered.

“It’s fine” y/n sighed.

“I’ll go” she begins as she stands and grabs her bag and slings it over her shoulder.

“Thanks for tonight guys” she said trying to be as friendly as she could.

“I’m sure he’s fine he’s just a bit stresse-“

“You don’t Need to explain yourself to us y/n, go find your man and keep us updated” Sydney said with Jemma and Flo nodding in agreement.

Y/n pushed the cold glass door open with her palm and slowly walked around the place in search of her boyfriend.

“Hey you” she said gently to the familiar figure that stood just by an alleyway.

“Fuck, love I’m so fucking sorry” he started.

“Hey hey hey” she said voice softening.

With a glance she could note the glossy eyes, without another word she wrapped her arms around his blazer clad waist, brung him in tightly.

“How about we get to the hotel and you can tell me what’s going on hey?” She offered using her fingers to play with the curls at the back of his head.

“Mmhmm” he hummed.

— — — — —

The ride back to the hotel was silent but not at all uncomfortable or awkward y/n knew he was hurt by something and she was determined to find out before the night ended.

They checked back into there hotel rooms and much to Harry lamberts disgust there fancy clothes ended up remaining in the floor for the night.

Y/n changed into one of Harry’s hoodies and her joggers.

Y/n joined harry on the bed and immediately made her self comfy, and cuddled straight into him.

“What’s going on H” she lowly whispered.

“Feel like I don’t appreciate you enough” he started.

“Hmm?” She hummed confused

“All night he had something to say, ‘oh your dress’, ‘oh your makeup’ and I just, I don’t know, feel shitty” he said honestly.

“And every look he gave you, every compliment, every touch he gave you it just scares me” he said pushing his head into the nook of her shoulder.

“Scares you?” She asked.

“I can’t lose you y/n, and Chris being this admittedly handsome guy, and giving you so much more attention then I did, it’s understandable”

“Harry”

“Baby, never, ever worry about that, no Chris or any other person could ever take me away from you ever”

She traced the back of his neck with her gentle fingertips.

“Only have eyes for you my love, only for you, and I don’t need your affection to feel loved by you, knowing your next to me or even in my life makes me feel like the luckiest girl ever” she stated whole heartedly.

— — — — —

[the-kr8tor]

Hello! If you haven’t yet I was thinking for fluffy Friday I could leave a suggestion

So Hobie is doing work as reader is watching their favourite slow burn Romcom but readers get all frustrated when the characters that have been pinning over each other for 3 whole seasons still haven’t kiss

You can tweak anything about this btw!

Thank you for requesting, angel! ❤️

Pairing: Hobie Brown x gn! Reader/ Spider-Punk x gn! Reader

Tags: No use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader, cw food mentions, some swearing, FLUFF.

ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ

“Arrghh!” You bite your pillow in frustration. The sound makes Hobie look up from fiddling with his web shooters on the kitchen table.

It's a quiet night in your shared flat, save for the mutterings on the telly and Hobie’s tools clunking and squeaking. The atmosphere is relaxed, added with the smell of popcorn and skittles mixed in, it truly feels like you're in the movies without the company of a large crowd of course. It's just you, Hobie and the couple on your favourite show that's been pining for each other for the past three seasons. Frustration doesn't cut it anymore, you're pissed. You just want them to just kiss and finally start their life together. But alas it just doesn't work like that, the yearning always gets to you, makes your stomach flip from all the tantalizing stares, entertaining banter and lingering touches. You commend the actors’ chemistry but you would like it very much for them to just snog each other, or at least confess.

You sit with your legs crossed over the other, fluffy socks tickling your bare legs. He looks at the back of your shaking head curiously, the telly's blue light casting a halo around you.

Hobie drops what he's doing, mechanical parts clinking on the wooden table. He turns off his lamp, promptly sauntering over to you. Draping himself over the back of the couch, his body folded in half just to look at the angry face you're making.

“Does that pillow taste good, lovey?” He picks up a popcorn, flicking it inside his mouth. Chewing, he tugs at the pillow you're currently munching on. “Why make popcorn when you've got our throw pillow, huh?”

“I'm fucking seething” sure enough, you grit your teeth, letting the poor pillow go.

“Not at me right?”

You scrunch your nose, “No, I'm not mad at you. Why? Is there something you did?” twisting your body, you look behind you, expecting a fire right on the table. It wouldn't be the first time.

You exhale out a relieved breath after finding the kitchen still intact and fire free.

“No? Not that I can think of” Hobie mumbles out.

“What's that?”

“Nothin'. Why are you mad?” He pokes your side.

“Because!” You gesture wildly at the telly. “These bitches are so stupid!”

Hobie laughs loudly, the sound bouncing off the walls. “Woah, language!” He jokes, earning you a soft chuckle. “What did those ‘bitches’ do to make you this angry?”

“They haven't even confessed to each other yet and it's been three fucking seasons of pining and longing! It's driving me nuts!” You wave your hands dramatically.

He looks at you with a half smile and a twinkle in his eyes the entire time you were ranting. Hobie slides his hand to your upper arm, rubbing affectionately to calm the fire in you.

You sigh, bumping your head to his, leaning towards his touch. “Sorry, too much?”

“Nah, I like it when you're passionate. Makes me feel normal about me ranting to you about…well everythin’” His back aches from the prolonged position, he doesn't mind though because he can still reach over to your cheek to press a soft kiss. Now his neck aches.

“Tell me more” He grunts, snaking his entire body down towards the couch, head bumping to your legs. You help with your hands over his shoulder and back, guiding him down for a softer landing.

You tell him about the plot from season one to where you're currently caught up. He listens intently, nodding and eating popcorn along the conversation. Hobie replies back a snarky comment or scoff when you're in a particular plot point that is incredibly ridiculous that no one in the world has probably experienced. Still, you and Hobie end up watching the show’s greatest hits and important bits because he insisted himself, he needed to see it with his own eyes. It's safe to say he ended up being invested in the story and characters.

Hobie ends up curled up with you on the settee, blanket draped over your legs that's wrapped in his long ones. His cold feet make you jump when he decides it's a good time to tease you when a boring part comes on. His arms envelope your entire torso, hands hidden under your shirt, resting on the soft skin of your hip.

You're completely relaxed, head resting on his chest, cheek smooshed, hands tracing his sides, eyes slowly drooping. Fighting a yawn, you hear the deep rumble in his chest, an unmistakable chuckle.

Peeking up, you raise an eyebrow questioningly. There was nothing funny happening on the screen, not even a throwaway joke.

Hobie notices your stare, a smirk playing on his lips, you have no idea how the telly's light makes him more handsome, you didn't even know it was possible for him to become more attractive.

“Why were you even mad? They're just like us before we were together”

You lean back, scoffing, eyebrows knitted together. “No, we weren't like that”

He looks at you with a face that says: are you sure about that?

Gasping, you look like a meteor struck you with realization. Now you remember why some of the (most frustrating) scenes in the show were so familiar to you. Because you lived through it with the man next to you. (He's currently laughing his ass off)

“Fuck! We used to be those stupid bitches!”

[torturedblue]

Part 2 of endless Disaster Twin parallels, the not so fun version

Part 1, the fun version

Considering the series shows Donnie coming off as autistic, he’s portrayed that way much more in fan art and fanfics, etc. We often see it in fan portrayals through an aversion to touch or his senses getting overwhelmed, etc. In the show I noticed Leo actually has a consistent aversion to anything with a gross texture too: like in the first episode when they’re all sliding down Draxum’s vines and he’s tripping over himself, the only one bothered by them “I hate this!”

He also starts flailing in a panic after a worm jumps on his face (and do I even need to bring up how the texture of worms ain’t all that enjoyable let alone on your face), recoils when that evil Hidden City massage guy pours hair serum all over his head, and he’s the most visibly repulsed when Raph gets trash all over them in the beginning of Battle Nexus: New York. So on multiple occasions he comes off as pretty texture or germ averse as well

Both also have insecurity issues about their role to the team: “If mystics can do everything I can but better then why would you guys even need me?” “I’m nothing without them!”

Ironically, in Many Unhappy Returns, Splinter thinks Leo doesn’t know what he’s doing and isn’t taking the mission seriously, saying he should’ve brought Purple. But in the same episode during fights with Shredder Donnie’s seen texting on his phone half of the time. Which is also very parallel to Leo making quips in the beginning instead of helping fight like Donnie and the others

In that same fashion, Donnie’s also goofiest when everyone’s acting serious in Insane in the Mama Train, while Leo’s the unserious one in the following episodes. Another role reversal from their norm

The show also portrays these two as feeling the most affected by Splinter’s history of emotionally distant parenting. Donnie constantly talks about his unmet need for parent-aged-adult approval/validation, and Leo shows his struggle in a more Leo-like way, constantly finding father figure connections in other people like Jupiter Jim and The Dunk. He also rejects/roasts Splinter a lot too, which seems more like a form of overcompensation; acting like he doesn’t totally need or crave Splinter’s attention. The exact opposite of Donnie’s methods. “No! I’m not going back to what’s-his-rat.”

“He’s my all-time favorite actor/role model/father figure!”

“That eccentric billionaire, who was kind of a surrogate father figure to me, has shown me a version of myself I don’t like.”

Leo acts like he doesn’t pine for his affection. I’m sure he sees the way Donnie openly, desperately goes after it when it’s offered and then gets crushed even harder with disappointment (ahem Turtle-dega Nights). No way Leo’s opening himself up to that. I mean come on how sad is the moment when Splinter says they should do something together and Mikey is so eager to jump on the opportunity before it gets taken away, only for Donnie to have to pull him aside and remind him it’s usually some kind of trick or he’s likely possessed? Just for Mikey to immediately respond, “You’re right, I always fall for this!” Ouch. Honestly considering Mikey’s empathy and emotional maturity in mind, the reason both he and Raph seem to handle Splinter’s lack of attention so well is probably also because in addition Raph became a second parent himself, and taking on that role like Splinter, he knows from his own experience that even though their dad doesn’t show it in the ways they wish he would, of course he loves them and what he does do to take care of them as a parent proves that

I think the parallels and direct contrasts between how Leo and Donnie show their dissatisfaction in their relationship with Splinter is probably the most developed and interesting one to me 💔

I mean Leo’s the only one who would actually say something like this to Splinter and you can’t tell me there’s not some deep-seated resentment in the way he looks and the way he says it…

So yeah. There’s the sad edition of Disaster Twins parallels. Let’s all cry together 😃

[wangxianficfinder]

In the mood for...

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1. hi there!! i’m really fond of your page. i wonder if you’ve got fics with wei wuxian as an idol but lan wangji with another job and falls in love with wei wuxian before discovering that he’s an idol or something like that. preferably mdzs fandom instead of cql-verse, if you could? thank yoou so much beforehand 💕

When the Lights Come Up by brooklinegirl (E, 50k, wangxian, modern, Notting Hill AU, famous WWX, non famous LWJ, Break ups and make ups, Musician WWX, bookseller LWJ) Not an idol but rock star wwx and bookseller lwj!

The Fault in Our Stars by Vamillepudding (T, 17k, WangXian, Modern AU, Getting Together, Romantic Comedy, Comedy of Errors, Misunderstandings, the title makes it sound like a cancer story, it's not a cancer story) They were both famous, but don't realize the other is as well. A lovely rom com fic.

Twitter fic by @/cerbykerby

does your pretty face see what he's worth by defractum (nyargles) (E, 27k, WangXian, Modern AU, Rock Band, Ballet, Second Chances, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Long-Distance Friendship) has rock star WWX and ballet dancer LWJ, but it's not LWJ not knowing WWX is famous, exactly, just discovering his friend from dance class has gotten famous while he's been busy building a career.

you'll always know me by ana_cp (E, 127k, wangxian, modern, Actor WWX, Teacher LWJ, Getting Back Together, Exes to Lovers, is it exes to lovers if you never quite defined your relationship?, Angst with a Happy Ending, LWJ being cute with children alert, WWX rides a motorcycle, LWJ writes as a hobby, Back hugs as a love language, Sharing Food as a Love Language) Another one where WWX isn't exactly an idol (he's a famous actor) and LWJ knows him from before he was famous, so maybe not exactly what they're looking for, but a great story nonetheless.

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2. Do any mods have some longfic recommendations? I prefer wwx-focused ones since he's my fav character!

Not sure what your definition of a long fic is but the ones that pop into my head right now are:

🧡 a stone to break your soul, a song to save it by rikke (M, 180k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, arranged marriage)

🧡 Night of the Living History (an edutainment special!) by Aerlalaith (T, 51k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Workplace Relationship, Fluff and Humor, Museums, living history, Some Plot, Slice of Life, Injury, a minor haunting)

🧡 I Don’t Want to Debut! by countingcr0ws (G, 56k, WangXian, Modern AU, Reality show, Idols, Actor LWJ, Forced Contestant WWX)

🧡 Song of Suibian and Bichen: Or, the Greatest (And Only) Furby Master of Demonic Cultivation by moonwaif (T, 64k, WangXian, Suibian/Bichen, Fix-It of Sorts, Canon adjacent, The spiritual weapons are furbies, Angst with a Happy Ending, Mutual Pining, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon-Typical Behavior, Taking my favorite parts of every adaptation and smashing them together)

Mud and Canvas by StormsBreadth (M, 109k, WangXian, Larping AU, Fluff, Angst, Role-playing, Camping)

- Mod C

--

💖 Cut Him Out in Little Stars by ChaoticAndrogynous (E, 69k, WangXian, Canon-Typical Violence, Grief/Mourning, Existential Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Memory Loss, Dementia (referenced), Suicidal Thoughts, Battlefield Surgery, Blood and Injury, Immortality, Loneliness, Isolation, Explicit Sexual Content, Oral Sex, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Consensual Non-Consent, Bondage, Top/Bottom Versatile | Switch WangXian (mentioned) )

💖 love, in fire and blood by cicer (E, 360k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, YLLZ WWX, Arranged Marriage, political scheming, Gratuitous Domesticity, Pining, slow burn, The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known, bottom LWJ)

💖 Pentimento. by orange_crushed (E, 73k, wangxian, modern, college/university au, art conservation, museums, pining, not actually unrequited love, angst w/ happy ending, misunderstandings, smut, major character injury, hospitalization, hurt/comfort, past incarceration, forgery)

I went with two older ones and one I bookmarked somewhat recently ~Mod L

--

Other recs:

live from new york: an snl au series by varnes (E, 105k, WangXian, XuanLi, Modern AU, SNL AU, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Pining, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Idiots in Love, and they were ROOMMATES, Frottage, Light Bondage, could not be lighter or gentler bondage)

In Imitation of Life by travelingneuritis (E, 70k, wangxian, modern cultivation, scifi au, android WWX, tone: neon seedy, rich people are bored and terrible, post-apocalyptoc landscape, happy ending, smut, severe major characger injury, time loss)

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3. Hello there! For the next itmf, does anyone know of any Greek gods/mythology wangxian fics?

something so precious about this (so wretched about this) by lazulink (E, 26k, WangXian, Inspired by Eros and Psyche (Ancient Greek Religion & Lore), Touch-Starved, Loneliness, Learning to be Loved, Mpreg, Ancient Greek Religion & Lore Fusion, canon adjacent, Royalty, Angst with a Happy Ending, Pregnant LWJ, Top/Bottom Versatile | Switch WangXian)

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4. Itmf WangXian Bichen smut? Or other sex toy smut? Preferably not modern. Thank you! <333

try Better Things to Do with a Flute in Wartime by Anonymous (E, 365k, MingXian, WangXianJue, Sunshot Campaign, Fix-It, Magical Healing Cock, Dual Cultivation, mild Dom/Sub, Undernegotiated Kink, Golden Core Reveal, Breathplay, Choking, Painplay, Subdrop, Topdrop, Major Character Injury, Canon Divergence, What-If, Temperature Play, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Fisting, Spanking, PTSD, Trauma, Self-Harm, (in the pursuit of cultivational badassery)) and the series it starts. Especially later on, the main thruple really get into some kinky explicit stuff. Mind the gore, it’s not part of the sexy stuff, but the series starts during the sun shot campaign and it’s explicit.

[MANHUA] Incense Burner 2 (Parts 7 - 29) by Haruka_Forever (E, 189, WangXian, The manhua artist unofficially drawing the incense burner extra 2, so what you'll read is canon to the novel, Masturbation, Bichen used as a sex toy, Non-Consensual Blow Job, Rough Sex, Non-Consensual Spankings, But also tender Wangxian) here's the manhua artist drawing the incense burner extras

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5. Itmf for fics with just a lot of love for the characters we adore. Like I'm talking about fics where the love and fluff just bleeds through the page and makes your heart turn into goo and curls your toes. Complete sugar for everyone. I feel like we could use some right now. @gentil-minou

Love Cats Series by so_shhy (T/G, 14k, WangXian, Modern AU, Meet-Cute, Fluff, First dates, Falling in Love, Officr party, POV Outsider)

Bunny Tales Series by sunnific (G/T, 7k, Modern AU, Meet-Cute, Fluff, Falling in Love, First kiss, Making out, Rabbits)

First Errand by Zacksy (G, 7k, WangXian, Accidental Baby Acquisition, temporarily, turning into, Volitional Husband Acquisition, glorified shopping trips, glorified free Sundays)

🧡 A Study in Fluff by WeaverOfTheNight (T, 29k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, no plot just vibes, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Domestic Fluff, literal plot bunnies, Getting Together, POV Alternating)

Dazzle Like a Diamond by Tsukimiko_san (T, 4k, WangXian, Dragon LWJ, Crow WWX, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, No Angst, ok maybe a tiny sprinkle of angst but like, usual lwj thinking wwx is just teasing him, it doesn't last long, Getting Together, they are both so whipped, Boys Kissing, Courting Rituals)

The Art of Communication by mrcformoso (G, 4k, wangxian, Modern College/University au, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Meet-Cute, Engineering Student WWX, Music Student LWJ, Swimmer WWX, Martial Artist LWJ, POV Outsider, POV WWX, POV LWJ, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, When your individual communication issues complement each other, Communication Issues, But Wanxian Makes it Work, LWJ has limited words, WWX has too many words, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Love Languages, Requited Love)

Secrets by handwritten (onefromanotherworld) (G, 1k, WangXian, Fluff, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Getting Together, Smitten LWJ, Smitten WWX, courting gifts) i haven't read the rest of the series yet but i assume it's just as sweet

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6. Hi! ITMF for time travel fics where the time traveler(s) physically goes to the past, not just them returning to their past body.

花无百日红; the flower that withers by yiqie (M, 29k, wangxian, Time Travel Fix-It of Sorts, Case Fic, Spells & Enchantments, Hurt/Comfort, Forgiveness, It’s about the emotional catharsis, If you have ever laughed at WWX clowning himself for the 'no one will marry you’ scene, This fic is: for you)

Melody of the Lost and Found by esama (T, 48k, WIP, XiXian, WangXian, Time Travel, Canon Divergence, Grief/Mourning, YLLZ WWX, There are two WWXs in this)

❤️ Tragedy is Not the End by Hobbsy3 (T, 358k, wangxian, Time Travel, Torture, Hurt/Comfort, Golden Core Reveal, Canon Divergence from Qiongqi Pass, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Yunmeng sibling bonding, good dad wwx, good dad lwj, JZX Lives, JYL Lives, Junior Quartet Dynamics)

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7. Hi hi thank you so much for your hard work!! This blog means a lot for me to find many many fics🤣

...

Now, I'm in the mood of fics where wwx is the one being rich rich, meanwhile lwj financially struggle or at least not as rich as wwx, I am hoping for wwx family disapprove of wx relationship as well (maybe because of past incident, difference status, etc) basically the opposite of usual wx relationship in fics, and of course wx endgame and happy ending🥺🥺. The setting can be a royalty, modern, cultivation world, or anything else.

Thank you so much🩵🩵🩵 @yourslwj

there is a fic like that, i know it, i just can’t really put my finger on it. LZ is basically working as a sugar baby and WWX is his sugar daddy. I also remember LZs Mother being a nurse and working really hard to keep them afloat. I think she got sick at some point? Im sorry, i really want to help. If anyone knows what this is called, i would appreciate it a lot.

finally safe (for me to fall) by sassybluee (E, 77k, WangXian, Modern: No Powers, Sugar Daddy, Age Difference, Sex Work, Rich WWX, Older WWX, Service Top WWX, Poor LWJ, Single Parent LWJ, Sugar Baby LWJ, Family Issues, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Slow Burn, Cockblocking, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, No Lube, Lube, Addiction, Compulsory Heterosexuality, Implied/Referenced Abuse, wangxian + others) it's a sugar daddy/sugar baby fic where lwj is a single father and struggling to care for himself and A-Yuan

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8. Hi! I was wondering if you have stumbled to a juniors see the yiling laozu phase in action or react to him in that mode.. also are the past react to wei ying in laozu phase post canon like a time travel or something😅 @myst1210

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9. itmf for dads wwx and lwj but i want lwj to be the lenient parent and wwx the strict one, thank you!

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10. Can I make an odd fic request? I want to expand my skills as an author and try to write with more personality and flair. I know this will come with experience and that I will eventually find my own style, but I want to also open my eyes to great examples from more experienced authors. So can everyone please recommend their favorite fics that have a unique or memorable writing style/author’s voice? If possible, include in your rec what in particular you like about it. Thank you all so much!

This fandom has so many incredible writers. The ones that come to mind immediately with a unique voice are 💖 Pentimento. by orange_crushed (E, 73k, wangxian, modern, college/university au, art conservation, museums, pining, not actually unrequited love, angst w/ happy ending, misunderstandings, smut, major character injury, hospitalization, hurt/comfort, past incarceration, forgery) link in #2 live from new york: an snl au series by varnes (E, 105k, WangXian, XuanLi, Modern AU, SNL AU, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Pining, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Idiots in Love, and they were ROOMMATES, Frottage, Light Bondage, could not be lighter or gentler bondage) In Imitation of Life by travelingneuritis (E, 70k, wangxian, modern cultivation, scifi au, android WWX, tone: neon seedy, rich people are bored and terrible, post-apocalyptoc landscape, happy ending, smut, severe major characger injury, time loss) (Those last two can fit for the long fic category too) Everything by spodumene Honestly it's hard to not just say like a hundred of them sjsjfj - Ah I just finished reading the rest of the request. What I like most about their writing is that they have this ability to pain the world they wrote like a picture. With these lines that leave me sitting in awe

i 100% agree about the loads of fantastic authors in this fandom. i wanted to mention 2: s6115 - i love how they get to the absolute heart of the characters and express their emotions, and they also balance it with humor very well H_Belle - i would call their writing…. snappy? idk if it's the right word but they keep the writing tight and moving and intriguing

For 10: anything by ScarlettStorm, her writing has a really solid voice! Also paired wings soaring by typefortydeductions (E, 33k, WangXian, Modern, slice of life, domestic bliss, angst, fluff, smut, hurt/Comfort, kissing, bdsm, artist WWX, poetry translator LWJ, slight somnophilia) has a very unique and wonderful narrative style.

I would recommend ScarlettStorm, who has great found families and depth of character and a particular breezy style I like. Also Ariaste, who has a similar style and excels at getting the most out of a premise. Also Sami, in particular the Paper Moon series because of her thoughtfulness about character development and how that drives the plot and the neat way she weaves the story together and has excellent narrative consistency. One more - hansbekhart is a tremendously skilled writer who, like orange_crushed (recced above), can just hit you with a brick of emotions. Highly recommend both authors as those who can drag deep, vast emotions out of you and leave you feeling as if you're a different person after you've read their fic. In particular, I suggest Roots Grow Riotous by hansbekhart.

for an example of fantastic writing, Twelve Moons and a Fortnight series by stiltonbasket on ao3 is EXCELLENT (intricate layered worldbuilding in vast timeline, awesome imagery and characterizations and build towards pivotal scenes). Also I personally love Cradle by dragonesque (one of best/fav show down diss scenes, politics) & The Murder of Crows by cerbykerby; to name a few

Say More by lettered (E, 55k, WIP, WangXian, Modern AU, Pining, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, non-graphic drug use, non-graphic withdrawal, Drug Addiction, one suicidal thought, negative thought, wwx struggles with Mandarin and feeling connected to Chinese culture, this is not a large plot point but bears mention, Compulsory Heterosexuality, wwx kisses a girl, Sexuality Crisis, Gay Panic, some gender confusion and questions without serious gender questioning, incorrect definition of omnisexuality, Open Relationships, Masochistic Fantasies, non-graphic sadomascochistic realities, humiliation fantasies, Submission Fantasies, some D/s realities, one condomless blowjob, suggestions of some unhealthy co-dependence, Possessive Behavior, Slight Consensual Non-Consent, Frottage) For the itmf ask about works with unique voices I can happily recommend lettered's "say more", currently a wip. They use frequent semicolons and extreme mood swings to illustrate what's its like in wwx's fast-branching and self-effacing thoughts.

总有一天; a place to hide (can’t find one near) by yiqie (E, 76k, WangXian, Modern AU, Pianist, Getting Together, Mental Health Issues, Suicide Attempt, Suicidal Thoughts, Depression, Hospitals, Overdosing, Eventual Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Additional Warnings In Author's Note) for great writing this story is amazing. It will make you cry, and there is a happy ending

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11. hello! hope y’all are doing great 🥰 idk if there are a lot of fics for this ask but recently i read one of your recs luminous by azuresummer and i absolutely love it, in the fic wwx is a jiaoren who is unable to verbally communicate with lwj so for the next itmf, i would appreciate more recs of fics where there is a language barrier between wangxian, any au is fine. Thank you so much ! 💖 @makkachiin

💖 splash;; by defractum (nyargles) (E, 11k, wangxian, F/F, modern cultivation, Gender Changes, Merpeople, Humanfucking, the opposite of monsterfucking, Rule 63)

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12. ITMF Wei Ying appreciation fics!! People realising how much wwx did for them and continues to do so. Bonus if it's ANGSTY

Hi for #12 itmf here. It's good, but not what I wanted. For example, wwx got injured, and now people are really worried like oh wwx did so much for us , i wouldn't handle it if he were to no longer be here. Also it can be about people loving wwx, bonus if there's good yzy and lqr.

New Perspective by mrcformoso (T, 8k, WangXian, Angst, Hopeful Ending, Fatherhood, Regrets, Flashbacks, POV LWJ, LWJ-centric, Canonical Character Death - WWX, Pining LWJ, LWJ Has Feelings, LWJ Needs a Hug, Character Development, Dead WWX, Introspection, Feelings, LWJ is Bad at Feelings, Character Study, Regretful LWJ, Breaking Toxic Cycles, Canon Compliant, LWJ in Seclusion, Post-LWJ, in Seclusion, Child LSZ) you asked for angst and you shall receive. lwj appreciating wwx after he died, and using that as a starting point for change

And Time Is But a Paper Moon by sami (M, 139k, WangXian, XiChengQing, Time Travel, Fix-It, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Healing, Mental Health Issues, PTSD, Hurt/Comfort, Depression, BAMF WWX, BAMF JC, BAMF LWJ, BAMF JYL, Getting Together) And Time Is But A Paper Moon, time travel fix-it, has a situation in the middle (starting at chapter 28) where it's evident everyone cares for Wei Wuxian, and the story as a whole has great Yu Ziyuan and Lan Qiren, and develops their relationships with Wei Wuxian in interesting ways.

See all this and more for just ten dollars a month! Series by ScarlettStorm (E, 382k, WIP, WangXian, Modern AU, Getting Together, Pining, Porn, like in the writing and also as a plot point, onlyfans au, repressed lwj, sex worker wwx, Minor Angst, major shenanigans, hornt(tm), mental health, therapy is good actually, Nonbinary NHS, Gender Exploration, Hurt/Comfort, past trauma, genderfluid wwx) ScarlettStorm's got a series (See all this and more for just ten dollars a month!) where they're both in therapy and work through all their issues like real adults including past trauma but also household budgeting, etc.

leave all your love and your longing behind by ScarlettStorm (E, 143k, WangXian, Modern AU, no magic, Meet-Ugly, Panic Attacks, autistic lwj, neurodivergent wwx, the neighborhood asshole dog, if you’ve met one then you know, Hurt/Comfort, Pining, Minor Angst, major shenanigans, Happy Ending, for everyone including the asshole dog, Eventual Smut, switch rights, Sex Toys, horny yearning, Masturbation) Also recommend the meet ugly story, leave all your love and your longing behind, for just, grown up adulting WangXian + extended family

I'm Sorry & Thank You by Iamnotawriter (T, 12k, wangxian, post-canon, Canon Compliant, Golden Core, Canon-Typical Violence, LQR's epipheny, Angst with a Happy Ending)

u may want to check out variations of watching/reading the series tags. Some follow exactly with great character reactions like The Characters of MDZS Watching the Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation by emma_screams (M, 147k, WIP, WangXian, Humor, Fluff, Angst, Drama) book canon Misunderstood by Silver_Flame_2724 (M, 250k, WIP, WangXian, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Heavy Angst, Suicidal Thoughts, Canon-Typical Violence, Self-Worth Issues) very au/diverging au, set immediately after first seige w/ wwx backstory that happened 'offscreen' & dif resurrection

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13. Hi loves! Thanks for all the word you put into the blog! I check it so often it might as well be the newspaper 🤣

For the next itmf I’d like something kinda specific: wangxian, established relationship, when they fight, but like fighting the way married people do, as in a “healthy” fight or because they care about the other or things like that. It can have angst but it must be happy ending or my heart won’t be able to take it! Don’t want cheating or infidelity tho, and no ABO please either.

Thank you!!!!!!!

Waiting for Spring by thievinghippo (E, 130k, WangXian, Modern AU, Mutual Pining, Pining while fucking, slight angst, Happy Ending, for a baseball fic, there’s not a lot of baseball, Sports, Baseball) the second fic in boys of summer comes to mind, with feelings Saturday. Not much arguing though more lots of healthy communicating

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14. Hi, do you know any fics about the kids crushing on wei ying like post canon embarrassing sizhui about his milf dad or him accepting that his dad is interested basically in a random lunatic twink? @quxxnrandonmness27

Help, My Dad Is Fucking Someone My Age!! by sweetlolixo (T, 3k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Humor, Crack, Fluff, Romance)

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15. ITMF where Lan Wangji is a little more outspoken and Wei WuXian is a little less oblivious and they get together early. The less angst the better.

Thank you for your time ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა @tinyfoxpeach

Pigtail Pulling by protos_metazu_ison (G, 3k, WangXian, Fluff and Humor, Crack Treated Seriously, Cloud Recesses Shenanigans)

💖 Magical Marriage Ribbons Series by starandrea (Varies, 1m, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Accidental Marriage, Fluff, Happy Ending, Telepathic bond, Kink Negotiation, Family Drama, Magical Pregnancy, Dual Cultivation, Shapeshifters, Modern with Magic, Immortality, Yilling Wei Sect, podfic) Super fluffy, very little angst, they figure things out shortly after the handfasting in Lan Yi's cave.

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16. In the mood for fics where LWJ loses his golden core & how he deals with it. Don't mind whether WWX also loses his or not, but hard pass on anything where WWX gives LWJ his core (unless they find a way to share somehow). @thispatternismine

stay, fury, your wrist wrapped in silk by spookykingdomstarlight (E, 228k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, Yiling Laozu LWJ, LWJ loses his golden core, yiling wei sect, Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, Major Character Injury, Injury Recovery, Temporary Character Death, War Crimes, Wen Remnant, wangxian Get a Happy Ending, Revenge, LWJ goes dark for a while, WWX has a hard time with the bad shit going on around him, JGS is a bastard, Protracted Sunshot Campaign, War is war and hell is hell and of the two war is a lot worse, temporary impotence, growing intimacy, LWJ and WWX and the Wen Remnant live in the Burial Mounds together, WWX travels with LWJ and stays at his side post-Sunshot, Spanish Translation)

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17. Hi Mods! hope you have a good day! for the ITMF I have two things I would like to ask A) a fic with a wangxian wedding in detail! like what they are wearing and doing, and B) a fic with some focus on Ouyang Zizhen bonding with WWX,

17A)

This Time With Lanterns by ChaoticAndrogynous (T, 6k, WangXian, post-canon cql, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Light Angst, WWX's canonical self-esteem problems, Friendship/Love, doting husband LWJ, Cultivators In Love, the duckling squad ship them so hard, not really arranged marriage but surprise wedding)

🧡 a stone to break your soul, a song to save it by rikke (M, 180k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, arranged marriage) It's been a while since I read it, but pretty sure -- has a lot of detail about the wedding and the leadup.

17B)

卧薪尝胆 by RoseThorne (G, 978, WangXian, OYZZ & WWX, Petty LWJ, Bunnies, False Accusations, scapegoating, Cultivation Sect Politics, Chief Cultivator LWJ, POV Third Person, POV WWX)

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

[farfaras]

Steddie week. Day 1: Pining. 1.2k words. Ao3 link.

Have some fluff! Also, written from the point of view of the non-pining person.

~

Steve is not sure how he got here. Although he’s actually not complaining. But after the end of the world part 4 (and hopefully final), Eddie Munson seems to be… courting? Wooing? Him? Whatever, he’s trying something. He was already kind of flirtatious during the apocalypse, at first Steve thought that was just a defense mechanism or just how he is. To a degree, he does have a flirty personality. But he does not treat everyone else like he’s treating Steve.

Steve is almost 99% sure that he has not opened a single door while Eddie’s around. Every time he goes to leave a room, suddenly Eddie is in front of him opening the door for him. It’s a miracle he doesn’t bow or some shit equally as embarrassing. Steve can feel the party’s eyes on them, and he doesn’t know why Eddie seems so unaware of it. In similar fashion, Eddie picks up everything he drops (he’s a klutz, sue him) so quickly that it almost looks like he hurts himself a little.

Are all the seats taken? “Have my seat, Stevie.”

Steve forgot a jacket? “You look cold, here’s my jacket.”

Steve mentions being thirsty? “I’ll get you some water!”

His car was in the shop one time, so Eddie picked him up for movie night at the Wheeler’s. When he dropped him off, he didn’t just make sure he got inside from the comfort of his car. No, no, that wouldn’t suffice. Eddie walked him to the fucking door.

Also, the pet names. God, there’s so many! One would think Steve is a fair maiden in the 1800s with the amount of terms of endearment he’s subjected to on a weekly basis. Angel, sweetheart, darling, honey, love, and even goddamn beloved. Who the fuck uses beloved? In this day and age?

Steve has not had this much attention, since, well, ever. Eddie seems to notice every single thing he does or says. One time he mentioned in passing how much he likes cool ranch Doritos and the next week Eddie showed up at Family Video with a sandwich, a bag of cool ranch Doritos and his favorite flavored soda. “Here’s your lunch, sweetheart.” Steve could only say thanks before he walked out with a wink, leaving him confused as ever.

He’s very much not confused now. He knows what Eddie is doing.

Every chance he gets, Eddie makes sure he knows how good he thinks Steve looks. He even compliments his outfits, which at first Steve found hard to believe it was sincere because come on, why would Eddie say he likes his polos and jeans if not to just get him to like him? But the more he did it, the more Steve started to notice the look on his face. If he wasn’t being sincere he was a hell of an actor because Steve could swear his eyes almost shined with fondness and/or adoration.

There’s a corner on his desk that he has designed for little trinkets Eddie has been gifting him. This has to be the weirdest part of it all because why would Eddie give him a piggy keychain? A freaking I <3 NY magnet? Has he even been to New York? Where did he get that? Steve’s favorite is this bracelet that spells ‘lovely’ surrounded by green and blue beads. Because of course Eddie knows what his favorite colors are. Ah shit, did he make that himself? Eddie should stop being this adorable, because now every time he enters his room and glances at this pile of [perceived] junk an involuntary smile starts to bloom.

Whenever they go out to eat together (as friends, Robin!) Steve goes through the same argument when Eddie insists on paying. Steve rarely wins that battle.

It all feels, weird. Steve doesn’t know how to feel about all of this. On one hand, does he enjoy all this attention? Of course. I mean, who wouldn’t. Steve is sure that if he asked any girl if they enjoyed the attention from guys that they didn’t particularly wanna date, they’d say yes. Right? It seems logical. Everyone likes to feel special. On the other hand, how is he supposed to react to all of this?

Robin’s told him that he needs to say something. That it’s gone too long. Just to reject him already, or something along those words.

Steve hasn’t.

He can’t seem to bring himself to burst this bubble. To break this kind of spell that he apparently has on Eddie “the freak” Munson.

A freak, though? Eddie’s not a freak at all. If the people that gave him that god forsaken nickname got to know him, they’d sure regret it. Steve’s sure. Because he’s a lot of things, but not a freak. Incredible considerate, for one. Thoughtful and passionate. He’s amazingly kind, and so full of love it sometimes looks like he can’t even contain it all. Most of all though, he’s ridiculous. Greatly so. How does someone go this long, treating a person this special, wooing, basically spoiling them, without asking anything in return? Steve has been sure for a while that Eddie Munson has been trying to get him to like him back. He’s going about it in a ridiculous way.

Eddie Munson is ridiculous.

He’s so so ridiculous.

What’s even more ridiculous is…

It’s kinda working.

“What’s your approach here?” Steve questions. Eddie’s over at his house tonight. They were watching a movie and Eddie just randomly got up, brought over some popcorn and a blanket. Which he put on Steve’s feet because somehow he knows they get cold easily.

Eddie sits beside him. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, you’ve been doing this for a long time. Are you ever gonna…?” Steve trails off. He may have started this conversation, but he really doesn’t know how to ask what he wants to ask.

A flash of recognition crosses Eddie’s face but he quickly schools his expression. “Am I ever gonna… what?” He smirks. The fucker.

“You know what.”

“I really don’t.”

Steve rolls his eyes. “I know you know I know what you’ve been doing. Don’t play dumb.”

“That’s a lot of knows.”

“Be serious.” Steve gives him a look that he hopes conveys how much he wants answers.

“Just say what you mean, then.” Eddie looks down, he looks kinda nervous and Steve feels just a tiny bit guilty about how abruptly he brought this up.

“Are you… gonna ask me out? Anytime soon?” Eddie looks up and although he seems taken aback for a second he just smiles after it.

“Do you want me to?” He tilts his head and puts on his most innocent act.

Steve hums. “What if,” he clears his throat and looks away, “What if I say no?”

Eddie nods like he’s considered this and every other scenario. “Don’t worry about it. I’m not asking you out yet.”

Steve frowns. “Then why…?” His brain catches up and takes notice of the last word of that sentence. “Not yet?”

Eddie shakes his head no. “If I do it,” he searches Steve’s face. Steve doesn’t know what he’s looking for, it takes a few seconds but he seems to find what he needs to say, “When I do it. It’s gonna be because I’m sure you’ll say yes.” Steve doesn’t know what to say. Or if he should say anything. He feels breathless. “And it’ll blow your pretty little mind, honey. Can’t believe you thought I’d do it with karate kid on the background.”

They settle back down, and that seems to be the end of that. Eddie seems content with that for now.

Steve though? It seems like his insides have started bubbling with anticipation. Without asking him for permission, no less!

@steddie-week

[steddieas-shegoes]

i have a request!

maybe one where steve knows he's bisexual before eddie but ofc, eddie thinks he's straight and doesn't think he has a chance, so he just takes whatever he can get with steve's friendship even though he has the biggest crush on steve and vice versa. but when eddie does find out about both, eddie would be internally screaming bc he could have been in a relationship with him and kissing steve ages ago.

i just love gay disaster eddie and confident bisexual steve haha

THANK YOU FOR THIS!!! This one could genuinely be a multi-chapter fic, so if someone has the time, I would love LOVE LOVE to read that. For now, here's a taste of something that kind of checks all the boxes mentioned but at superspeed. If I could write a 20k fic on it, it probably would have A LOT more pining first. I'm a sucker for pining. I hope you love this little thing! - Mickala ❤️

------------------------------------------------------------

Steve was giving off vibes, okay?

Like, major ones.

And Eddie was convinced he was imagining it or just trying to convince himself that something existed where it didn’t to make his chances higher.

When Robin came out, a small part of him believed that Steve had to be at least a little queer. Men didn’t just accept being turned down by someone they liked when they turned out to be a big old lesbian.

But when he casually asked Robin if Steve had ever been so inclined towards the same sex, she laughed hysterically and said Steve was as straight as they came, that she’d never met anyone as straight as him, and that she’d probably end up with a man before he did.

So he let it go.

But then he said stuff sometimes about actors or singers that just left Eddie’s brain a big pile of question marks.

Maybe Eddie just didn’t know how straight dudes talked about other dudes?

So he let that go too.

And then Steve was genuinely checking out a guy at the public pool. There was no other explanation for the way his eyes focused in on his ass and worked their way up his body, a nod of silent approval hidden to all but Eddie.

But he did the same exact thing to Robin when she came out of the changing room, and while he knew he had feelings for her a while ago, they were long gone.

“What was that all about?” Eddie gave in and asked when everyone else started walking to the steps to get in.

“What?”

“Checking Robin out.”

“What the hell? I wasn’t checking her out! I was making sure her bathing suit fit right. One of the things they taught in lifeguard classes was that a too big or too small bathing suit can kill you.”

“So you were just making sure it fit?”

“Yeah. I don’t want her to drown.”

Eddie sighed.

But he let it go.

He stopped hoping for the chance to be more than friends. He was fine with just being friends. More than fine. Great.

He got to enjoy having Steve as a friend.

He didn’t half ass anything.

If he said he was gonna hang out, he was ready to commit the entire day to making sure you had his attention.

If he had everyone over at his house for movie night, he had everyone’s favorite snacks ready to go.

If he was gonna join Eddie at the quarry and smoke and look at the stars, he was gonna do it while making Eddie fall in love with him.

It wasn’t fair.

But he tried to let it go.

It was one of those nights that he found out he didn’t have to let it go.

“You ever just wonder how you could have ever thought you were a different person?”

What? Okay, Steve was high. Past the silly kind and right into the too existential to make sense kind.

“I don’t have a clue what you’re sayin’, man.”

Steve giggled.

God, Eddie was fucking done for.

“It’s just that I thought I was straight for 17 years of my life. And then spent another two years trying to convince myself that I couldn’t be anything but straight. And then life smacked me with Robin and now you and it didn’t really leave me much room to argue.”

“What are you saying?”

“I mean, I’ve had a crush on you since. Well, definitely since you held a bottle to my throat, but probably before that. Like, way before that. Maybe your first senior year.”

Steve was high. He didn’t mean what he was saying, and even if somehow he did, it wasn’t fair to hold him to it. Being high was sometimes like being drunk: the words may be true, but the feelings may not stick around.

So Eddie took a deep breath, bit back the tears he could feel clinging to his eyes and the burn in his throat, and forced himself to change the subject.

It wasn’t fair, but when Steve let him change the subject easily, he let it go.

————-

It took three weeks for him to break.

He was with Steve at his house, waiting for the kids to show up for movie night. Steve was busy preparing homemade pizza because he thrived on being able to cook for everyone.

Eddie loved him so much.

He was staring. He knew he was.

But how could he not when Steve was in that stupid “Number One Dad” apron that Max got him last Christmas as a joke, but he’d sniffled and said thank you like it was the best gift he got in the world?

Steve was humming something, sliding the last pizza into the oven (pineapple and ham for El, Will, and Mike), when it all seemed to hit him.

Steve had come out to him, had admitted out loud that he wasn’t straight and that he’d had a crush on him for a long time.

Sure, he was high when he did, but he’d been high with Eddie lots of times and never given away any top secret personal information like that.

He’d wanted Eddie to make a move.

He was so stupid.

He stood abruptly, nearly banging his knee against the bar in the kitchen.

Steve looked over at him, brows furrowed in concern, lips pouting out unintentionally.

Eddie stalked over to him, not bothering to explain his theatrics. At this point, Steve should be used to them.

He stopped right in front of him, looking down at the suddenly nervous way Steve was holding himself.

He wasn’t letting it go this time.

He sure as shit wasn’t running. He didn’t do that anymore.

“You remember the quarry?”

“Like, in general…or…?”

“A few weeks ago you said something at the quarry.”

“Oh.” Steve looked down at the floor between them. “Yeah. It’s okay that you don’t feel the same. I shouldn’t have put you on the spot like that.”

There was no fucking way Eddie was letting him think he didn’t want him back.

He gripped his cheeks in his hands, palms tilting his face up so he could look into his eyes.

Steve was biting his lip so hard, it looked like it could start bleeding any moment.

Eddie brought his thumb over, pulling his lip from his teeth.

“How can I kiss you if you’re too busy eating your lip?”

Steve’s eyes widened.

“What?”

“Stevie. Did you mean it then?”

“Yeah, ‘course I did. I wouldn’t lie about that.”

“Then I need to ask a favor.”

“Anything.”

Eddie wouldn’t let that go to his head. Not yet.

“Can I kiss you?”

Steve’s responding smile lit up the room, more than the overhead lights, more than the actual sunlight streaming through the window.

“Thought you’d never ask.”

Eddie leaned in as Steve did, their lips meeting in a light peck that quickly deepened, moans escaping their mouths at the same moment.

He let his hands slide down to Steve’s neck, his thumbs rubbing small circles as his tongue begged for entrance into his mouth.

Steve was sinking further against him, his heartbeat steady against Eddie’s chest.

“It’s about damn time. Honestly, I was starting to think I’d have to make Steve come out to you again.”

Robin’s voice shocked them apart, but when they realized who it was, they managed to fall back into each other.

Eddie’s arm slipped around Steve’s waist as Steve rested his head on Eddie’s shoulder.

“The kids will be inside in about 20 seconds so if you would prefer they don’t know what’s going on, you should wipe those lovesick looks off your faces and find a bubble of personal space.”

Eddie kissed the top of Steve’s head before pulling away.

“Talk when the kids leave?”

“Yeah. But first,” Steve pulled Eddie in for one more quick kiss on the lips. When he pulled away, he was smirking. “We’ve got a lot of catching up to do.”

“I don’t plan on letting you out of bed for the next 24 hours after the kids leave. We’ll at least get a good start on the catching up.”

Eddie threw a wink at Steve, ignoring Robin’s gagging noises, and sat back at the bar.

The kids came running in, circling Steve to hug him or ask him what dinner was and Eddie smiled to himself.

Robin nudged him after a few seconds.

“You’re both so hopeless.”

“Not anymore.”

[justoneofthoseghosts]

Back from the dead to scream into the void about Bridgerton because the Polin brain rot is real. I've watched the episodes twice now and have some thoughts nobody asked for:

Colin with all that new found swagger after his hot boy summer just makes me cringe. That whole montage with the ladies - er, no, thanks. Give me back my sensitive Colin please.

Nicola Coughlan is amazing, truly a superstar. She embodies the role so well, in all the bits - comedy, romance, intimate scenes. Ugh. I hope she gets more leading roles!!

Love that Colin drops all pretenses when he senses Penelope's distress at the first ball - sensitive Colin is still there folks!

Also, I think we moved on too quickly from his apology. "There is nothing more I want than to earn back the favor of the one person who has always truly made me feel appreciated." Luke said in an interview that the best version of Colin was the one when he was with Penelope (or something like that) and it does ring true in the first half of the season even if he comes up with this disastrous and misguided plan to help her find a husband. He's always himself when he's with her - there's no postering, no swagger.

I am a huge rom com nerd so I truly appreciated all the rom com elements in this. Nicola just ate that all up. She was amazing in all the awkward moments in the second and third episodes and Luke did a good job too. You could really see their chemistry and how they fed off each other!

They talk about how they first met. Please 🥺 it's the same meeting as in the book and the way they reminisce about it while walking in the market was so cute, straight out of a rom com!

Kinda cringed at Colin's journals because they were about girls 🤡 should have kept them as they were in the book where they were more about his travels.

"We shall gallop along" is this season's "I oiled my way right in" 😂

The first kiss scene was incredible. I think I prefer it to the book because there is much more emotional connection between them - they've been lifelong friends as opposed to acquittances in the book (even if Colin was starting to see Pen in a new light by then). The connection between them is undeniable but they each get something different from it. To Pen, it's the ending. The last thing she would ask from him before she let him go. To Colin, it's the awakening, the shift of his feelings, the beginning of its growth.

Pining, yearning Colin is not as unhinged and chaotic as in the book but I think he might get there in the second half. At least I hope because chaotic, unhinged Colin in the book was pretty great. I mean, interrupting a dance was kind of unhinged of him to do.

But I do like how down bad he becomes after that one kiss 😂 Luke really portrayed it well in the first few minutes of the third episode.

I quite like Francesca and John even though I know how that will end. Curious to see if they'll take front and center in season 4 or if the show is renewed, it'll be in season 5.

I know it is an ensemble show but there seems to be a lot more subplots this season?

lol at Portia trying to get her daughters pregnant when one of them hasn't even done it yet since getting married 💀

Penelope and Eloise ❤️‍🩹 they miss each other ☹️ also, I do not care for Cressida.

I've always liked Violet's talks with her children and how in tuned she is with each of them.

Can't lie, I loved the carriage scene - Colin's confession, the momentary disappointment that he was getting friend zoned, the intimacy but most especially towards the end where they could just laugh together because at the heart of it, they were very, very good friends first.

Also, that look Colin gets when he realizes he's going to marry Penelope? Chef's kiss, 10/10, no notes. Luke really delivered and I think it helps that a lot of the Bridgerton actors are theater actors because they have a distinct way of showcasing little nuisances in their facial expressions.

Needless to say, I enjoyed it. Even if there were some key departures from the book, I think it was a fairly good job. I can't fault them for bringing in an external force (another suitor) to help Colin realize his feelings even more. In the book, a lot of it happens in his head, which can be hard to translate to a show. At least we got rid of the suitor early and it didn't become a legitimate love triangle.

I do need a Lady Danbury and Penelope alliance though. I loved that in the book and I hope they don't drop it!

[bengiyo]

23.5 Ep 8 Stray Thoughts

Last time, the gang decided to gussy up Ongsa for a school event, and we got to see her in traditional Thai clothing. Ton decided to help by stirring up Sun’s jealousy for some reason, as if Sun’s reticence were somehow the issue of the first half of the season. I enjoyed the few moments between Aylin and Luna. Sun eventually publicly declared that she wanted to be with Ongsa, so they are now girlfriends.

I’m with Aylin. She does look like a panda.

It’s taken us eight episodes to get to open mutual flirtation.

Episode 8: The Starry Night

Girl, Sun confessed to you in public. How are we supposed to keep this secret now? Did you talk to Sun about this?

Thank you, youths, for telling her off for this line of thinking.

I was chatting with @ginnymoonbeam earlier and do like that the drama of this week is “What even is dating?”

I am so invested in this teachers’ romance, you don’t even know.

YES, LIESTEN TO SUN. DO NOT WORRY ABOUT HOMOPHOBES. THEY CANNOT DETERMINE HOW WE LIVE OUR LIVES.

Ongsa, we have ridden with you for two months. She asked for the kiss. Do not let me down this week.

I love that Sun loves action films.

At least one GMMTV show isn’t pushing its pro-mosquito agenda.

Milk is very good at facial expressions.

This show is making me hope for my boy Mawin again.

Okay, Aylin, this was very cute. I like her calling back to the balled paper message.

I real like LOL’d at Mawin and Ton sliding in and out of this window.

Oh, Mawin, I feel for you. I wanted you to ask, but I get it.

All this bonding with Ton is not cutting down on my “Here’s How Euro Can Still Win” agenda.

Wow, Aylin, you got me, too.

That’s right, Luna. Teach her human things.

Chaoren’s rejection was great.

Well well well…HERE’S HOW EURO CAN STILL WIN…

How is it cold in Bangkok? Isn’t it like 80 F at night there?

Kissing with the glasses on? Huge win for lesbians and those who share their beliefs.

That chin grab? I see you, Ongsa.

Whyy are we introducing a separation next week with a study abroad program?

I like Milk and Love, but I don’t know that Love is being served well by this project. It feels like they don’t trust her as an actor and are leaning on Milk a lot. However, View and June are doing a great job together, and I loved the way AJ and Earn played their scenes. I am so invested in the Bambam and Nida story that I sit up every time they’re on screen. I feel like this show really struggled at building to the moments it wants to hit, but knows exactly when it wants us to hit them. It’s not bad, but it’s left me feeling rather unmoored along the way.

Alright, let’s talk about how Euro can still win! He didn’t get to kiss JJ in Dangerous Romance because JJ doesn’t kiss boys, he just teases about it. AJ, however, does! I am side-eyeing Tinh for always checking out athletic boys to the point that his friend finds it sinful, but being totally obvious about Mawin pining for him right next to him. It’s giving…no…I shan’t say…

[palmtreepalmtree]

Alright my friends - the twinkly lights are up, the house smells like pine, you've got every manner of red-green-and-gold wrapping paper shoved in a corner - without a doubt it's that time of year: Christmas. As you know, I've been disappointed to see so few entries into the Christmas rom-com genre this year from Netflix, so I've started to explore further afield to find something ripe for your enjoyment.

And now, I'm pleased to present...

The Worst Movies on HBO/MAX/Discovery+/HGTV??? (idefk), Right Now!

As it turns out sometime last year Discovery+ teamed up with MarVista to produce some Christmas romance content with random tie-ins to their FoodNetwork/HGTV network stars. This has created some really... oh, let's just call it interesting content.

I mean... you gotta know from the outset that there's no way these will be good. NO fucking WAY.

FIRST, as a whole, I don't think these movies know what their purpose is. Are they supposed to promote the reality shows of their cameo stars? Are they supposed to give their reality stars an opportunity to flex some acting muscle!? Are they supposed to be *GASP* good stories? NOBODY KNOWS!

SECOND, it's possible that the point of these movies is just to promote the reality show format as like... a concept. But the thing is -- NOT TO FORESHADOW OR ANYTHING -- that comes with some very weird baggage. LIKE SUPER WEIRD.

Let's break these down in round-up style.

The first movie that apparently created the mold* was Candy Coated Christmas (2021) - *pun intended. This vehicle cameos Ree Drummond, The Pioneer Woman, who gets about two minutes of screen time which apparently warrants her this kind of promotional one-sheet placement:

...like okay.

A shocking number of these stories involve people who are in financial peril. In this one, a hotel heiress finds herself on the brink of bankruptcy, and, on daddy's orders, she heads to a small town to evict the peppermint farmer tenants at her family's property who are, you guessed it, on the brink of bankruptcy.

In this movie, the spirit of Christmas (or spearmint gum in this case), is a plan to rescue these two financial catastrophes, oh, and they fall in love. Sure. Why not.

This movie is an empty candy-coated shell of a romance that I can best describe as serviceable. But apparently it was enough of a hit that the rest of the movies followed. So we can blame this candy cane for the Christmas rogering that followed in 2022.

Continuing from worst to most egregious...

A Gingerbread Christmas (2022) - This one cameos that Ace of Cakes dude (no idea his name and not interested in looking it up) who is judging a gingerbread competition that the main character desperately needs to win to save her dead mom's foundering bakery - YES another fucking business in peril.

Her love interest is the general contractor/baker/single dad who has taken up daily residence in the bakery where he is apparently simultaneously working on fixing the place up and also doing all of the baking........?

Yeah, it makes little sense, and yet somehow this is not the worst of the four entries this year.

Both of these actors are people you'll recognize and will have you thinking heyyyyy where is she/he from? (Let me help you out: The Good Place/Reacher). They're fine.

This is fine.

It's just... not going to leave you feeling much of anything. And that's the exact opposite of what these movies are supposed to do. You're not killing me, you're just boring me. There's nothing spicy in this gingerbread, baby! ZING! Nailed 'em.

There's a kind of nice subplot about a new immigrant entering the contest as well, but maybe I have a soft spot in my heart for that. This definitely does not seem like it's going for the same audience as some of the Hallmark movies, but it's also only gesturing at substantive things rather than really delivering anything of substance. Hey guys, did you know that immigrant Muslims can celebrate Christmas too!?

MOVING ON.....

One Delicious Christmas (2022) - Alright... where do I even start here??? Continuing on our theme of struggling businesses, this one slightly breaks the pattern by telling us a story of the owner of a boutique inn who needs to find a new chef for her family business so that she can bring on a financial partner to help ease the strain of her sole ownership.

The cameo in this one is Bobby Flay who comes in as a restaurant critic to comment on the food. Sigh. I know. Look I'm just reporting here, don't harm the messenger.

Alright there are three things here that just drove me completely batty: First, and I hate calling this shit out, but I gotta say the lead actress here has some partial vocal fry thing going on with her voice that is just impossible to watch for an hour and a half. I just wanted to shake her and be like BREATHE THROUGH YOUR CHEST. Fucking hell. It's a trial being me sometimes.

Second, obviously the theme here is cooking, but the whole story is based around the fact that the chef is doing new and risky recipes that the inn owner is nervous her people won't like... but like... the recipes are super basic? Like scalloped potatoes instead of mashed? Lobster bisque!? None of the new menu items read as dangerous or cutting edge -- especially if you watch the Food Network -- SO WHAT THE FUCK IS THE POINT1?!? Argh, okay.

Last, and this is just a weird thing that probably only I noticed, but like all these movies seemed to go out of their way to do mixed racial castings, which is a good thing, but then they also seem to have not made any adjustments for that in terms of story.

In this one, the love interest/chef is played by a Canadian actor of Filipino ancestry -- but his character name is Preston Weaver. Preston. PRESTON. PRESTON. There are also repeated references in the story to cooking for and with his grandmother, but no mention, not even one, that maybe her cooking wasn't American-style food? I mean, it is perfectly possible for a person to have their family immigrant story have happened so long ago, that even their grandparent doesn't make traditional foods from their country of ethnic origin, but it also seems WEIRD. Like some sort of weird white washing??? idk. Jury is still out on this I guess. I just don't think it would have killed them to reference one Filipino recipe or technique, especially since that's a pretty rich food culture. You know, as compared with making a main plot point that the fucking LOBSTER BISQUE keeps selling out.

(Is there a whiter word than bisque? I don't fucking think so).

I HAVE GONE ON TOO LONG. THE NEXT ONE.

Designing Christmas (2022) - Alright, I'm running out of steam and so I'm gonna make this one quick. This one cameos that dark haired lady from Love it or List it not sure her name not looking it up (Hilary???). This one is about a couple who work as a designer/contractor pair on a reality show and in order to save their failing show they decide their last show of the season will be a restoration of her family's old home that she just purchased and SURPRISE TO NO ONE WHO WATCHES THESE SHOWS there's a crack in the foundation blahblahblah WHO CARES!?

NO ONE.

This one really suffers from the fact that the male lead is just boring.

Honestly, that's a theme throughout these movies. The male leads are super weak and boring. Tepid. Just absolutely forgettable characters played by actors who are deciding whether the fuck to fire their agents.

What's weird about this one is the way that the production really styles it after a reality show -- even including those restoration classic before and after reveals. But that is nothing on the last one......

A Christmas Open House (2022) -- Alright the cameos in this one are that Hometown Whatever couple who have been "restoring" houses in their hometown in someplace in the south and by restoring, I mean flipping but under the guise of home restoration.

ANYHOW - the plot is that this big city house stager teams up with a realtor to sell her family home to make sure her mom gets the best purchase price on the sale. It's just like those old Christmas classics that really capture the Christmas spirit - A Christmas Carol, Miracle on 34th Street, It's a Wonderful Life. You know. Really in that anti-capitalist vein.

Deeeeeeeep sigh.

So... I don't even know how to say this. But this movie involves a Christmas miracle.

See, it turns out the house stager accidentally gave the furniture company the wrong credit card number, so the day before the showing ON CHRISTMAS the furniture people came and took back all of the perfectly staged furniture and GASP knocked down the (fake) Christmas tree! WHAT ARE THEY GONNA DO1?!? HOW ARE THEY EVER GONNA SELL THE HOUSE ON CHRISTMAS NOW!?$!

BUT IT'S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE

The whole town shows up to bring them furniture that they can use to stage the house before the potential buyers arrive. Like... they show up with their odds and ends so that the house can be staged. SO THAT THE HOUSE CAN BE STAGED FOR SALE. Are... are you guys with me here? The miracle that the whole town rallied behind was bringing FURNITURE to STAGE A HOUSE. FOR SALE.

I just... I am walking away.

We are so fucking far from Dickens here we might as well be in a new fucking holiday.

And we are.

Because that's the whole point of all of these movies.

It's not Christmas.

It's American Christmas.

For all the shit that the nostalgic, small-town worshipping Christmas movies get this time of year, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say these movies are more insidious. Instead of blatantly trying to valorize the small town spirit, the support of family and friends, and getting back to your roots, these movies are like the Scooby Doo villain of Christmas movies. Rip off the mask at the end for the big reveal:

IT WAS CAPITALISM ALL ALONG!?!?

Anyhow, I don't know who was supposed to read these scripts before they became movies, but everyone involved will probably be laughing all the way to the bank.

Don't watch these. They're not funny enough to be worth the soul-gutting feeling of realizing what these movies are for.

Nothing.

Empty.

Spiritless.

Candy-coated capitalism.

[astridthevalkyrie]

U want lds thoughts? I gotchu 🫡

I really like all 3 boys, but I'm leaning Zayne bc he's just so husband coded. He's the only one I could see a long-term relationship w. I love Xavier and Rafayel, but I just can't picture them as husbands or dads (at least w my MC/myself). I also desperately need them to interact in game and in the main story, there's just sm potential for chaos and funnies.

I honestly dk what will happen next. Obviously, MC is gonna want to investigate Onichynus and her heart, but idk how that story will unfold or how they'll tie in the stories w each li and their separate myths/reincarnation bit. (Also, the fact that the myths happen in the future doesn't make sense to me yet, so I hope they plan to really flesh that out and not give us questionable writing like most mobile otomes do). Idk how I feel abt Sylus (and possibly Caleb) becoming lis, ig I'll have to see what they're like and if they appeal to me at all, bc so far we haven't had enough Caleb content for me to actually get attached (I was also convinced he was MCs brother so idt I'll ever be able to see him romantically 😭).

I hope we'll get to see more of the side characters and what MCs life is like outside of just the three guys, but I honestly doubt it lmao (more for me to hc abt ig lol).

I have more but this is already rambly and idk how to be coherent rn. This game is giving me brainworms and I'm def thinking abt it too hard. Oh, well. I don't consume media, media consumes me.

i'm telling you it's xavier boyfriend zayne husband and rafayel sneaky link. that's exactly the look and vibe they give off.

i think as of right now zayne is the most popular, at least on ao3 him/mc is the most popular ship. which is just to be expected when you have a levi ackerman coded character LOL. like you said, he's a husband. he just is. he's a doctor and he's successful and he cares for the mc so deeply it just makes sense. i started the game for him because. i mean he looks like THAT. he acts like THAT. he has ice powers and you get to melt the ice in his heart and make him love you i adore that shit see my pinned post for the kind of romance i write you could make a zayne x reader set in the aot universe and it would be my fic. and dooooooon't get me started on dawnbreaker zayne. DON'T GET ME STARTED i gasped during the anecdote when the truth about the kid comes out. he dreams about his past life what the fuck bro what the fuck.

surprisingly, though, while i do love him, he's probably the one i've had the least amount of thoughts about (that's still clearly a lot of thoughts so that's not saying much). i think it's partly because my gacha favors xavier and rafayel a lot more and right now i pretty much am just heavily thinking about whichever guy i consumed the content for last.

xavier and rafayel have me obsessed. i thought xavier would be completely meh because zen from mysme was meh for me. but um. he was not meh. my levi hawks pattern has told me that i love a man who was forced into fighting because of the stupid goodness in his heart and manipulative outside forces. and even though that's not exactly what's going on with xav, he does have that vibe. his is the only myth i've watched in full and i'm just. they should have been able to go to uluru together. the scene where they're both lying on the ground i have watched it so many times. i love love love the royalty x captain of the guards trope so much. the fact that they both serve in both roles is insane. i've read the anecdote about her first life on philos too there's a fucking part in there that talks about how he shares his EARBUDS with you?????? end me.

and rafayel is beautiful. like he's actually beautiful. his english voice actor makes him sound so fucking bisexual + the bi wife energy whenever you're with him is just. UGH. the game is hilarious whenever he's on screen and obviously with the way the main story has ended for now he's the most intriguing. and while you can feel the pining energy from all three of them, his is just. lowkey the most pathetic. and i eat it up. bro started TEACHING AT HER COLLEGE just for the chance to see her. i like that he's not possessive per se but he is very whiny and attention seeking the sassy man syndrome is real. i need to unlock his myth but i'm not patient so i may very likely just watch it on youtube. i need to see hunter rafayel. i need to see him right now.

the main story is genuinely fascinating. i was a little bit bored up until the explosion happened and it really kicked in. bc suddenly it's not just 3 guys and you doing your best, but you actively investigating and them helping you. like i said i don't have raf's myth and i haven't finished zayne's yet (need more fucking upgrades to his card) so i don't have the full story but at least what i'm getting right now is okay. they're all from the past or future. they all remember?? xavier and rafayel definitely do. zayne knows something about grandma who seems kinda shady to me. i've seen the caleb=sylus or at least caleb lives theories. i saw someone say the man at the end isn't sylus though? and his english va is the same as caleb's but in other languages it's someone else. idk.

idk about the others but xavier's myth being in the future makes sense. i'm pretty sure the timeline goes: in our current timeline, earth is about to go bye-bye and become inhabitable bc of wanderers -> survivors go to philos -> xavier and a new mc are both born -> she dies bc of something in her heart and is reborn bc she's the only one who's truly immortal (everyone else on philos lives forever naturally but can still be killed i think??) -> new lightseeker mc and xavier are meant to become guard and prince respectively but philos is dying -> to save mc from being sacrificed again and again xavier decides to go back in time to find another way where he after at least like 200 years meets current timeline mc

i know what you mean about not being able to see caleb as a love interest. the first time i saw him i genuinely thought they had no need to make my brother this hot what the fuck. and then i realized he was just her childhood friend and i went

and then he blew up 😭

i neeeeeed to see the love interests interact. i mean mc barely thinks about the others whenever she's with one but i really hope in the next arc we actually see them meeting each other. beefing or working together or whatever, i need to know (i may also have already started a fic about what's gonna happen next bc i'm mentally ill). xavier has a tracker on her so he should be able to find her and zayne kinda disappeared off the face of the earth but i want them all back. i want interaction. i want it so bad.

[harrietvane]

So, in response to tags on this post re: a Daniel Henney/Navarre Ladyhawke scenario, I have been thinking for DAYS on who else one would cast.

To make it fun you really want to set boundaries. Stick to a) people you can cast now (it's not open choice eg you can't cast Gene Tierney then with DH now, it has to be both here and now), and b) be of an equivalent career profile (aka you can't cast some rando from an advertisment), and c) stick within the general vibe and age range of the original narrative. However point c) has really challenged me, as I looked up the ages of the original cast for comparison and it has not satisfied me re: contemp. casting.

For example, Rutget Hauer was 41, and Michelle Pfeiffer was 27. Daniel Henney is 44, so far so good, but then when I went looking at actors in the 27 year age bracket I get like the Ella Purnells and Daisy Edgar Joneses and Anya Taylor Joys of the world? I get that people who notably played teens on screen recently are not actual teenagers, i do know this... but the idea of casting, like, one of the flashback Yellowjackets vs Daniel Henney (44) bores me to tears. BORES ME to TEARS. Navarre/Isabeau, despite sharing very little screentime, have a feeling of being adults of an equivalent experience/confidence/capability, perhaps because they are both the Adults when compared to Philippe's Youth, and the Bishop's and Imperius' Age. Phillipe has to seem like a teenager to her, but he'll be a mid-20's actor already so like I'm not super keen on casting gorgeous models who have yet to see the fun side of 30.

But also like Zöe Robins is in her early 30s and the vibe they have in WoT seems dynamic and interesting between them, so I'd not averse to ZR as Isabeau for for funsies, and just have a WoT LadyhawkeAU. However, I scouted around by going up a decade for the hell of it.

Front runners are: Jodie Turner Smith (you definely go 'holy shit that is the Face of Love', and she can play a quiet dignity combined with a 'i do what i want' vibe); hard to miss Keira 'queen of costume' Knightley (you KNOW she could do it, and she does 'pining and pissed off' so well); but my fave is Sofia Boutella - Isabeau does a lot of no-dialogue scenes of her Looking and Reacting to things, rolling her eyes at Phillipe, thinking about things silently, and Pining, and Boutella is a spectacular no-dialogue actor. She has a dance background, so no surprise I guess. I mean she's been in a lot of action-heavy stuff with minimal/expository dialogue, and you can SEE her feelings. She can do angry and vulnerable and quiet in combination. She can rock a 'i cut my own hair off' look like no problem.

Imperius is Simon Russell Beale. I just like to see him in everything.

Casting Phillipe the Mouse is impossible. IMPOSSIBLE. Ladyhawke is essentially a 2-hander, times 2, because Isabeau and Navarre can't interact due to the uhhhhh central premise of the movie. That means the actual on-screen chemistry has to be between Isabeau|Phillipe, and Navarre|Phillipe (| or / depending on your chemstry preferences I guess).

Due to the age range, you're looking at bascially the kind of people who get cast as one of the kids in Stranger Things, and I recoil. Broderick's entire brand is built on having so much Ferris Bueller youthful rocket-fuel charisma he literally defined the man-child archetype at 23. I cannot think of anyone working now in that age bracket who I would not immediately tell to STFU anytime they were on screen. Idk, find some kid who is live on stage as Billy Elliot or in Matilda right now somewhere, that's probably your best bet

[lurkingteapot]

Last Twilight ภาพนายไม่เคยลืม Ep 6

another episode that's UP THERE. Goodness. The watch blog is even more incoherent than usual, consider yourselves warned.

Day is like deflect deflect deflect

god that hangover remedy looks TOXIC

oh fuck I didn't clock that August clocked the flower, ffff

aah I love On

I don't love August

afadsfas Mawk

posturing, oh nooo

how does a wrist wrap make anyone collapse? oh wait, he fell and hurt his wrist?

PIZZA

product placement, huh

oh god Mawk is SO jealous

ajaan On!!!

i see August did NOT get a glass of water

I love On

Mawk seeing a CHANCE huh

August like …

oh god this is STRESSFUL I love ittt

the touching-letting go- touching is. SOMETHING.

are you still talking about the shoes, Day?

this house is so cute

I love Phawjai so much

oh goodness, Mawk's FACE just now

Jimmy's really come far

oh man, are those his own? ohh he fixed them

calling it now the flower thing is gonna be merch too

that was a n extremely fake looking stumble right now, sorry not sorry, you've both done better

we're back to the unspecified time story time!

is August flirting or … what

Day definitely is

asfasdfasdf I love On

Mawk just openly pining in front of everyone's salad

is this the Rangsit U sports grounds again

yeah, looks like it

oh god I hate jealousy as a plot device but urgh

okay at least they did not make the banana eating weird

Mawkkkk don't bring down his hopes--

ah

okay, that's more like it

what's UP here

I love these two together

I mean I especially love Phawjai

but they're so good as friends

you're making her point, dude

this is CUTE and I wonder what's gonna be the nail in the coffin for Day to choose Mawk over August

Hi Night, long time no see!

August is TRYING, huh

birthday coming up, huh

I want Chef Mon's hair

oh, are we getting Night backstory, huh

!!!! HE QUIT

he loves his little brother and it's hard for him that Day hates him, that's my read and I'm sticking to it

this seems like they filmed this early on, idk

leaving it to himmmm

I love that it's not that easy to answer and that they can just leave it at that

Day kicking his feet like a little kid!!!

Mawk FLIRTING

DAY FLIRTING BACK

I cannottttt

is he gonna ---------

no mention of the necklace, huh

OH he's putting his own cologne on him????

holy SHIT that's intimate idk also I need to find that scent

(P'Aof and scents is2g)

I LOVE that they're not being coy about the, whatever it is between them

AUGUST PLANNED THIS on one hand: this is so cute!!! on the other hand: YIKES SURPRISE PARTIES

so that's why August took Mawk to buy drinks

so we'll have, what, 1-2 more eps of AugustDay and then a  crisis and then MawkDay? aaah

August and that condescending little shoulder slap, WOW

but I want that cake kinda

he's gonna bum a cig-- yep

also how tall is that dude to make Jimmy look short

the cig in the cake, oh man Mawk. I get that you're mad, but that's nasty

he's heartbrokennnn and I bet the social status thing plays into it too

I'm not sure I get what's going on rn--

I love how they show anxiety rising here, it's beautifully done

that's like a "putting your name on things to show they're yours' thing and it's not cute august

preview has me super afraid that we're going to get a kiss out of them next part

I love Gee

love the way they have Day made up here, he really looks like someone coming off a BAD moment or five

the bridgeeee

Mawk is like 'what was I thinking', huh

Day's already fallen for Mawk, he's just catching up to that reality now, huh?

oh August isn't bad at looking smitten, either

not on Mawk's level yet, but that's okay

(Ohm is doing really well for a junior actor)

oh????

CALLED IT

holy shit

oh wow what TIMING, of course

of course

poor Mawk, he's so unlucky with his sunflower timing every time

JimmySea fans everywhere throwing a shit

and Jimmy this is probably the weakest acting I've seen out of you so far

what the fuck why did you push him??? what the??????

was that a pity thing???

oh August, you fucker, the road to hell etc

did Day hear that???

asdfasdfasdfadsfasdfasdasdf adfadfasdfasdfasdfasdfasd oh DEAR

oh man Jimmy is MUCH better at being scary than at being kind

oh I unexpectedly love this??? y'know?

Mawk is Day's safe space atm, I love that.

what a terrible ending to a nice Birthday, huh

is this the early morning?? looks like it

ROOFTOP

kiss?????????

I feel like this is not the time?

that's … gonna backfire

tiny "mai" incoming?

no?

okay but Day is kissing back, huh?

Jimmy's eating

oh his voice went low there

but okay this is gonna get awkward I BET

OH we're going to get the "proving yourself / your love" arc in ep 7, huh. P'AOF!!!!

[destinyc1020]

Okayyyy....So, I FINALLY got around to watching this "Don't Worry Darling" movie a few nights ago lol. Everyone kept saying how HORRIBLE the film was, and how bad Harry's acting was in it lol, so I'm sorry, but my curiosity just got the better of me and I HAD to watch it and see for myself. 😅

My Thoughts:

The Good:

I LOVE films that have a little bit of mystery like this...I love trying to figure out and guess what's really going on in a film, so this one was right up my alley.

Right off the bat, I kind of already suspected that what I was seeing was not what was real. I even questioned if they were really in that time period right off the bat. Like, something just seemed waaay too "perfect" about that little town. Immediately, I found myself thinking:

"This film reminds me of 'The Stepford Wives' and the 'Surrogates' movies". If any of you have seen either of those films, then you'll know exactly what I'm talking about.

Can I just say? I love Florence as an actress. Everything I've seen her in so far has been great acting by her. She does an American accent fairly convincingly well too... I didn't pick up on any "slip-ups" like I usually do when most foreigners fake American accents for films lol. 😅 I can't wait to see her in "Dune: Part 2"!

Also...LOVED seeing Chris Pine as a villain in this! And can I just say?? He was ZADDY! LOL 🤣 Something about him in this film was doing things to me lol.

Oh...and I LOVE LOVE LOVED the costumes, and that house! I love styles and fashion from the 1950s and 1960s. Everyone just always looked so classy and put together. People really took pride in how they looked back then lol. I loved vintage styles honestly. 😊

That home was to die for too...loved the architecture.

The Bad:

Honestly, the main gripe I had with this film was that there were just SO many plot holes! 🥴 It was annoying! Like, the movie teases you and teases you, and you're hanging on along for the ride, and then.... It just.... LEAVES you HANGING with sooo many UNanswered questions at the end! 😤

What was up with the airplane crashing in the distance that Florence's character saw?? 🥴

What was up with the mini little earthquakes that everyone was just used to? Was it trains? Was it leakage from the "real life"?

Why did Olivia's character know what was up from the get-go? Who told her? How did she find out? Did she ALWAYS know?

Why does banging your head against the glass cause you to get out of the VR realm?

How did Harry's character get his wife to be able to undergo the VR life? Was he drugging her? Were ALL of these husbands drugging their wives? Were some of these dudes just choosing random women to be their VR wives?? Like, what on earth?

When did Chris Pine's wife know that he was a fraud?? Like, was she always suspecting? OR did that ONE phone convo that she over heard do something to her?

Who were the men in red jackets? Were they all under VR simulation as well?

Why does killing you in the VIRTUAL WORLD kill you in the REAL WORLD, when everything that's going on is just FAKE anyway?? 🥴 That was the BIGGEST mystery to me lol. Didn't make sense AT all.

You almost felt like you watched the entire movie for no good reason when none of these questions were answered lol. I can see why so many people didn't like this movie.

OVERALL:

Overall, I didn't HATE the movie. The movie actually started off very promising in fact! I actually didn't even mind Harry's acting? I mean, he's not really an "actor", so for a singer trying to act, I actually didn't think he did THAT bad y'all lol. 😄 And as Olivia's film debut (is this her first directorial film?) it actually wasn't THAT bad.

I just hated all of the plot holes!

I also felt like actress Kiki Layne was SEVERELY UNDERused in this movie. I would have liked to have seen how she was before she became suspicious. I was actually interested in her storyline as well, but they kind of treated her character as an afterthought.

Anyway...I think people overexaggerated though how much they hated this movie. It wasn't that bad honestly. It was just something fun to watch on a Friday night while eating my dinner lol.

But boy did this movie have plot holes galore! 🤣 It didn't have to end so abruptly either.

Too bad this movie had so much drama going on with the cast lol 😆 It didn't get such a great press tour due to all the drama going on lol. 👀

[life-o-n-m4rs]

An Analysis on the Finale and Aziraphale’s Inner Monologue (Michael Sheen is an Incredible Actor)

Like most Good Omens fans in these tragic, triyng times, I’ve spent hours scrolling through Twitter, Instagram, and Tumblr reading hundreds of people’s thoughts and opinions on the season, particularly the final scene of the season in which Aziraphale is offered to return to Heaven to be Supreme Archangel and Crowley confesses his love to Aziraphale after literal millennia of pining. After my most recent rewatch of the season, I spent a lot of time focussing on the final scene(s) and carefully eyeing every tiny detail. Not necessarily around the coffee, but around everything that came after it. I am somewhat on the fence about the coffee theory. Though I don’t think that Aziraphale decided to go back to Heaven entirely on his own fruition, I don’t think he was completely under the control of Heaven either. His ultimate decision was not entirely out of character.

Starting with the coffee and scene with Metatron itself: many people have theorized that The Metatron poisoned Aziraphale with cyanide, which I see the logic in. We saw earlier in the series in the second minisode that poison causes demons–and presumably angels–to act very strange, like they’re high or drunk. When he drank the laudnum, Crowley stops a girl from killing herself, while stating that it was not a kind thing to do as he was “Off [his] rocker on laudnum. Not responsible for [his] actions”. However, Crowley still drinks the laudnum to stop Elspeth from doing it herself, so obviously he was at least somewhat in his right mind. He still aimed to thwart her attempt, so his statement deflecting his actions due to his intoxication could just be another moment of Crowley denying any goodness in him, much like when he saves Aziraphale’s books and tells him not to thank him. So, coming back to the coffee, it is perhaps plausible that Aziraphale said yes to The Metatron because he was not entirely in his right mind. When we see Metatron order the coffee, he does ask for a “dash of almond syrup”, but when giving it to Aziraphale, says that there is a “hefty jigger” of it. That certainly doesn’t sound like a dash. Where the coffee theory starts to fall off, however, is immediately after Aziraphale drinks the coffee. When Crowley drank the laudnum, he immediately felt the effects of the poison, whereas with Aziraphale, we see that he is completely the same afterwards. Of course, cyanide is not laudnum, and it was also, theoretically, mixed in with coffee, so the effects could very well be different. Aziraphale returns to his shop with no coffee in hand, so it is safe to assume that he finished it, and we don’t see any changes in behavior until he starts talking to Crowley. That is when he starts to act off.

If we look at Aziraphale during his conversation with The Metatron, he immediately declines his offer. He flatout says that he does not want to go back to heaven. Not only that, but Metatron tells Aziraphale that he chose him to replace Gabriel as Supreme Archangel because he’s a great, natural leader. That he’s honest and doesn’t just tell people what they want to hear, which is just flatout not true. We see Aziraphale lie so many times in the show, probably more than Crowley, and he especially lies to Heaven on multiple occasions. That’s a huge focus of the minisode in episode 2, that Aziraphale lied to Heaven. He has never aligned with Heaven’s beliefs. He is notoriously insuboordinate. He is by far not the best choice to be Supreme Archangel, especially since he hasn’t properly aligned himself with Heaven, or even spoken to them, in years. This is the first piece of manipulation from The Metatron’s part. Not even necessarily some miracle or poisoning, but he was feeding Azirphale what he wants to hear. He’s praising him to get in his good graces, but that’s only the first half. Aziraphale still says no. It’s not until Metatron presents his second half of the offer that we see something start to crack in Aziraphale. If The Metatron did do something to Aziraphale, it still could not have worked without this vital piece. He offers to let Aziraphale, as Supreme Archangel, restore Crowley as an angel. Crowley can come with. Suddenly things are different, and we see it on Aziraphale’s face. Michael Sheen is an inredible actor and he manages to narrate a deep and painful inner monologue within Aziraphale with just his face. The second The Metatron starts to say that he could bring Crowley with him, his expression changes very subtly, but just enough for us to see that something made its way through to him.

We are deliberately not shown the rest of their conversation. There is clearly something there that we did not see. The only other part of their conversation we see is at the end of it. The Metatron says that Azirphale “[doesn’t] have to answer immediately. Take all the time you need”. All that Azirpahle says in response is that he doesn’t know what to say, to which The Metatron says, “Go tell your friend the good news”, as if he knows that, in the end, Aziraphale will come with him. We watch Aziraphale walk away, and he does not look like he has good news for Crowley. He looks scared.

Something inside of Aziraphale is battling itself in this moment. We see no change in his demeanor until we reenters his bookshop, and even then, it’s not until right before Crowley begins speaking. We see him looking at Crowley and something almost seems to waft over him. He’s no longer scared or nervous about this news. He suddenly wants to tell Crowley all about it.

When Aziraphale cuts Crowley off, he’s suddenly ecstatic about going back to Heaven, which does not at all match how he was feeling less than one minute ago on his way back to the bookshop. So, it might be entirely possible that The Metatron didn’t do anything to Aziraphale until after their conversation. That he performed some miracle on him just as he was walking away. As Aziraphale explains the ordeal to Crowley, he is filled more and more with joy and excitement about all of it. Aziraphale, who, just a few minutes ago, said that he didn’t want to go back to Heaven. I do believe that part of him here is thinking back on when he knew Crowley as an angel. We don’t know much about Crowley’s time as an angel, but we do know that he was an important angel. Important enough to be second to the Supreme Archangel as Aziraphale proposes. We saw a small moment of Crowley when he was an angel and how much he loved building the universe. Creating stars. Countless galaxies that were like his children. But we know very well why Crowley could never go back. So why doesn’t Aziraphale? Aziraphale doesn’t exactly have the best relationship with Heaven. They were the ones who tried to destroy him, to hurt Crowley, to destroy the world and humanity, which Azirphale stopped. Why should we believe that he’s even been forgiven for that? Crowley seems to share the same sentiment that the viewers do–why should Aziraphale go back after what they did to him?–because he immediately assumes that Aziraphale turned down the offer.

Crowley tells Aziraphale that they’re better than that. That they don’t need Heaven. That when Hell offered him a promotion, he said no, without hesitation. Aziraphale rebutes with “Obviously you said no to Hell, you’re the bad guys.” You’re. When has Aziraphale ever aligned Crowley with Hell like that? Especially in the last few years of their relationship. They have been completely cut off from both sides for years. This is the first instance of something slipping through that isn’t entirely Aziraphale. This is not something that he would say to Crowley. Aziraphale says, “...Heaven. It’s the side of light, of truth. Of good.” He has spent all of both seasons of the show whole-heartedly believing that Crowley was good. He has always seen him as such. So, for him to not only include Crowley in the Hell collective, but to imply that Crowley cannot be good without Heaven, is a clear sign that something is wrong. Crowley is begging, pleading that Azirphale said no to Metatron. If we look back, he never gave an answer. The Metatron told him that he could take all the time he needed to answer. But Aziraphale has his answer. He never had a choice in giving one, did he? Aziraphale did say no and The Metatron didn’t take it.

At this point, Crowley can feel Aziraphale slipping away, so he goes on with his confession anyway. It’s clear in his voice that he’s now desperately trying to hold onto Aziraphale. Throughout Crowley’s confession, he plays a tug-of-war with Heaven for Aziraphale. He brings up Gabriel and Beelzebub, saying that if they “can go off together, then we can”. He’s not just bringing them up as a point in his argument to say that it is possible for an angel and a demon to love each other. He’s bringing them up because Beelzebub says flatout that they “found something that mattered more than choosing sides”. Crowley is trying to present himself as that for Aziraphale in that moment. He’s looking him in the eye, allowing himself to be vulnerable, and begging him to forget about sides. What about shades of gray?

Crowley is presenting Aziraphale with an offer. An offer for the two of them to forget Heaven and Hell, to forget everything but each other. But Aziraphale has his mind set, either by himself or by someone else, but it is set nonetheless. Even as he fights whatever is inside of him, pulling him toward Heaven, he’ll be damned if he doesn’t do everything in his power to pull Crowley with him because he cannot bear to be apart from him. Crowley would burn Heaven to the ground for Aziraphale, but he’s afraid of fire.

The best comparison for Aziraphale’s willingness to go back to Heaven, which many people have used, is that of an abuse victim. He has suffered at the hands of Heaven for millennia, but when the expectation is that he must feel worthless, he holds on so tight to any speck of praise like it is high above the standard. When Crowley presents his offer to Aziraphale, he’s not turning it down. He is trying to fulfill it while also getting to enact his hopes for Heaven. He says to Crowley, “Come with me. To Heaven. I’ll run it, you can be my second in command”. This line always stuck out to me. Second in command. When has Crowley ever been a second to Aziraphale? Throughout the series, we see them walking together, always shoulder to shoulder. Neither ever walks behind or in front of the other. They have always been equals. Now, suddenly, Crowley is no longer worthy of being Aziraphale’s equal. Almost as though Heaven is looking at Crowley and saying that he doesn’t deserve to be on the same level as a measly principality. Someone who was once important enough to build galaxies can never be on the same level again because he has fallen. The Metatron is starting to flood into Aziraphale’s head, and Aziraphale is fighting to stay afloat, reaching out for Crowley to pull him out, but if Crowley takes his hand he’ll just get pulled under, too.

“You can’t leave this bookshop,” Crowley says. You can’t leave me. Is what he means. “Oh, Crowley,” Aziraphale patronizingly coos at him. He thinks that Crowley is refusing because of foolish attachments to material objects, something that Heaven has no time or use for. Something Heaven has no patience for. “Nothing lasts forever.” We won’t last forever. Crowley is offering Aziraphale eternity, and Aziraphale is laughing at him for it. At least, from Crowley’s perspective. Through his heartbreak, he can’t see that Aziraphale so badly wants to go with him, but something is holding him down, so he asks Crowley to come to him. There is no halfway point. “No, I don’t suppose it does.” Crowley puts his glasses on while he’s alone with Aziraphale for the first time in years. He spent years carefully tearing down his walls for him, and it’s as if, in an instant, someone came along and pressed undo. All the bricks came magneting back together and built themselves back up. Crowley opened himself up, truly, for the first time ever, and he thinks he’s being rejected becaus Aziraphale doesn’t know how to tell him how beautiful he looks. As Crowley walks away, Aziraphale doesn’t know what he did wrong. Why is Crowley leaving? He’s offering him what is, in his mind, the best possible outcome. He wants to fix Heaven for Crowley. He wants him to be that sweet, happy, angel he was, but Aziraphale’s too naive to see that he never can be. He’s begging Crowley to come with him now. “We can be together,” he says, almost like it’s a compromise. He still doesn’t know how to let himself love Crowley, but he’s willing to let Crowley love him if that means he will stay. He says that they can be angels, doing good, again implying that Crowley cannot be good without Heaven. Crowley cannot be good with Aziraphale. But the fact of the matter is, he may be good without Aziraphale, but he isn’t Crowley. More and more of Aziraphale breaks through in this moment. In his moment of desperation not to lose Crowley, he’s forgetting about Heaven. All he needs is Crowley. He needs him. And when that plead doesn’t work, Heaven surfaces again. He turns to anger. “I don’t think you understand what I’m offering you.” He’s now bringing Crowley down. He’s using the same tactics that Heaven does. Make them feel worthless so that they love you when you give them anything more. But this is also Heaven trying to push Crowley away from Aziraphale. The intention never was for Crowley to be an angel. Metatron knew very well that Crowley would say no. He just needed that option to get in. To break into Aziraphale’s mind, tear the two apart with no hope of mending, and keep them as far away from each other as possible.

Aziraphale gives up trying to hold onto Crowley. Heaven is in his head and in his ear saying, “Give up. He’s not coming.” Heaven has built itself back up in Aziraphale’s head. He has closed himself from Crowley. It’s not until Crowley kisses him that the battle begins again between Aziraphale and whatever The Metatron placed in him, whether literally or emotionally. We see on Aziraphale’s face and in his body language a flicker between wanting and hating it. But he never pulls away. When Crowley let’s go, Aziraphale looks horrified. Like he can’t believe that Crowley just did that, or that he allowed it to continue as long as it did. Deep down, there’s nothing Aziraphale wanted more, but not like this. As he struggles to find his words, his face is first sad. Afraid. He mouths something through an exhale that appears to be what wants to be an “I love you”, but his face shifts. Heaven takes over again and all he can say is “I forgive you”. He goes from sad and lovelorn to a sort of anger with Crowley. We see him flash back and forth between these two many times throughout this sequence.

As Crowley walks away, Aziraphale comes through again, wanting to go after him. He even appears to mouth “No”. He wants him to stay. He wants to stay with him. But then he looks after him with a furrowed brow. He’d better walk away. It’s better for everyone.

He pushes Heaven back again when he presses his fingers to his lips. He wants to remember what that felt like. He wants to feel it again. Desperately. But he changes again and wipes the kiss away. It’s not what Heaven would want, and so neither shall he, for this love is a sin, and angels do not sin.

When the Metatron returns and Aziraphale tells him he didn’t take it well, The Metatron immediately puts Crowley down, saying that he was “always asking damn fool questions”. Now that Crowley was out of sight, he needed to be out of mind as well. He did not align with Heaven or its goals, so Aziraphale cannot think even remotely fondly of him. He must be an angel again, and angels do not look upon demons with an ounce of kindness. Crowley does not deserve Aziraphale’s kindness. He offered him something great, and he was too foolish to accept it. Right?

The Metatron asks Aziraphale if he’s ready to start. Aziraphale never gave him an answer, though, did he? Because there was no answer to give. Aziraphale never had a choice. Crowley had to be gone, and Aziraphale had to be the one to push him away, because how else would they regain control over the both of them? The reality of it has suddenly hit Aziraphale. He’s still fighting Heaven’s control. Suddenly, he can’t leave the bookshop. Suddenly, it must last forever, because this is Crowley’s shop, too. While The Metatron is trying to get Aziraphale out of the shop, he keeps looking at the chairs. The chairs in which he and Crowley sat and drank so many times. Where they laughed together. Where they decided to stop armageddon. The chairs where they decided that their side was the only one that mattered. Aziraphale is doubting. He almost tells The Metatron that he wants to stay. He almost tells him no. But he can’t, because The Metatron won’t let him. He can’t.

In the scene just before Aziraphale gets on the elevator, the music is a key factor. It tells the viewer exactly what’s going on in Aziraphale’s mind. He is still flipping between Heavn and Crowley. Every time Aziraphale leans toward Heaven, the music plays in a major key, with more emphasis on the flute. When his mind goes to Crowley, the strings take over with a melancholy melody. Strings that pull Aziraphale down, back to the world, to Crowley. And then he takes that final breath and steps onto the elevator. The flute takes over again and the music changes to a hopeful melody, but still sad enough sounding, especially when we cut back to Crowley getting into his car. We see one final look of doubt on Azirphale’s face as the elevator doors close. The weight of his choices are hitting him. But he doens’t dwell on them long because he’s finally let go of the ledge. He’s stopped trying to float. He’s sinking down into the black waters of Heaven and his mind has vanished. He’s under the Metatron’s control now. We see him struggling and fighting one final time during the credits until finally, just before both he and Crowley are completely gone, he cracks an unsettling grin. The last ties to Earth have been severed. His uncanny expressions throughout the entire credit sequence are meant to be unnerving. Something is deeply, deeply, wrong.

So, I don’t think I necessarily believe in the coffee theory exactly, though I do think that it is important. There was so much cinematic emphasis placed on the coffee, but whether that be because The Metatron meddled with it or just as a red herring to raise unease from the viewer with The Metatron is uncertain. The only person who knows is Neil Gaiman and we all know just how much we’d get out of him if we asked. Ultimately, if Crowley coming to Heaven was never presented as an option in the first place, Aziraphale would not have gone. But he leaves with blame placed on Crowley, and that’s exactly how The Metatron wanted it.