#he doesnt need the beard i just wanted to see what it looked like

[druidonity2]

Anduin + long hair + beard.

[gibbearish]

Congrats on sending that application!

THANK UUUUUU

[bear-remn]

—shu headcanon's!

hi! I've been thinking a lot lately about the Sakamaki brothers and I came up with some headcanons that maybe you guys can enjoy too, the first one in this series is shu so enjoy! also a little art piece i make during maing this post.

tw: there are some nsfw headcanons!!! if you dont like that content dont read it!

his looks and selfcare

i do think that shuu is very, good looking, shu has that kind of elegant beauty, with his fine face and a straight nose, clearly his eyes are what attract the most attention when you see him for the first time, also shu has a very penetrating and fixed gaze, in addition to the fact that his blue color makes him have a captivating look and sometimes makes people nervous without realizing it, just because of his natural gaze.

even so, shu does not realize how attractive he is, at least not entirely, mostly bc he doesnt take care of his face, like he dont put any cream or special soap on his skin, he is totally the guy that barely wash his face and has a perfect skin.

but i do think that when he wants to, he definetly put sunscreen bc thats what he thinks is makeup for men.

and maybe this is a little... dirty? but i truly belive shu does'nt shower too often, maybe three times a week? or sometimes two, and he does not smell, like too bad, bc he dont sweat for some reason, but does sometimes stink with that smell, when somebody is for too long in a bed... that kind of smell.

and the times he showers he truly takes that shower like if it was his last, ofc is a bubble bath and he puts some candles and music while he just rest in hot water. is shu's private moment with himself. and he loves vanilla and chocolate candles.

and about shaving, he has a happy trail, but cant grow a hole beard, for some reason it just grow under his chin and it bothers him so he shave it right away. and about his body hair it is very thin and not so visible.

talking about skin, something shu needs, is to feel soft things to the touch, like his sheets, he makes his bed all the time and loves the smell of vanila or lavanda the bed has when its recently done, and its the same with his clothes, he needs cotton clothes, if shu feel something that is minimally rough or that makes his skin itchy, he never wears it again or throw it away.

shu does not brush his hair too often, mostly bc its not hard to control and he likes how he looks with messy hair.

i like to think that shu has a wide body, big shoulders and a thick waist, he has a prominent v line, his arms are a little thick too, and his hands are big, but his fingers are more thin and long, as he use to play piano. and he takes care of his nails, doesnt put nail polish but do cuts them and keep them clean.

random stuff

sometimes shu doesnt realize his shirt is inside out, and he realize just when somebody else point it out. but shu dont care.

shu is actually a goosip, so he puts one of his earphones bad just so he can hear what people are talking even if it had nothing to do with him.

and a little secret of him, when shu cant sleep and is alone, he looks at cute/funny (mostly shitpost) videos, memes and photos of animals, shu is totally an animal lover.

on his vacations shu loves to watch a reallity shows, he loves drama of famous people, but ofc shu doesnt talk about this with anyone. and definetly watch them when he eats. not too often tho, it has to be a really good show.

shu has a record collection in his room, next to a wall full of vinyls of his favorite music, he doesn't use them much but enjoys collecting them.

and bc of his childhood he is actually really smart but bc he is miserable and lazy he just dont show it nor in his life or in the academy. and also as a little revenge to his father (who punish him by sending shu to alaska lol).

shu actually dont like human food, he find it boring, but do enjoy eating meat, almost raw, but not too much, bc after that his stomach hurt a little. he does like coffe or hot chocolate sometimes and better when it has milk.

and my favorite little thing about shu, i think shu dont play in consoles, not play station, not xbox, not nintendo, nothing like that. so he only play games in his phone, but not anygame. shu either playes puzzles games or play subway surfers, or both, who knows. and he loves the music of that game, it always stick into his mind when he hears it.

NSFW

so, shus dick... is great, maybe too dirty of me to say but u truly belive that shu has a pretty dick, like maybe more thick than normal, with two prominent veins and heavy balls. and its a little biger than average, probably like 19 cm. i had to say it.

also, i belive shu is a switch, ofc loves to be dominant but also enjoys being dominated, with a limit.

shu loves to tease people in any chance he gets, like, when someone (specially a girl) find out that he likes to hear woman moans as music, he tease them to make them nervous like "what? would you prefer me to just hear you? want me to make you moan? hehe". or when a girl is wearing something too revealing too close to him, like he sees someone underwear or a little peak of her chest shu be such an ass "wanting to show me something? how lewd of a woman you are huh" all of that with his sly smirk.

he flirts in a very... one of a kind, like he teases but also like to make physical contact, at firts he just do it in a way to make the other person nervous but with the time he craves the physical contact, he loves feeling his skin touch another skin, what makes him sleep naked.

shu is more perverted than laito canonically, but i think that shu is more romantic about it, like put passion in it, you can feel the conection with him when having sex. specially bc he loves making eye contact and touch everything he can. he craves to melt into your skin and its really intense. he holds you with possessiveness, hard and intense. almost needy, but shu isnt like quick and fast or desesperate. he is more the kind of sloow and deep, nice and steady. kind of guy.

and bc of his intense desire, he loves foreplay, and best of it, he knows how to do it right, i just know he can read people to know what someone like to make them weak. he also loves kissing, tongue. theeth and lips, he have to kiss at every moment, and if you moan into his mouth he just gets worked up. he would definetly make you grind on his leg while kissing. clearly he does the leg thing, he know things.

shu is a big fan of 69, like he loves to get sofocated while you suck him, and he does it right, loves to play with your clit like crazy, but he isnt rough, but if you ask for him to be more rough he get into it, until youre fucking trembling. and he expect you to cum in his face, afterwards he is happy just to be there.

and his favorite position in bed is either cowgirl or spoonign, firts bc he like when you take control, and seconds, he gets to hold you and be close to you and not making too much effort.

in the case of cowgirl, he loves pushing up to go deeper, and all of that while watching you face, damn he loves it. also likes to hold you waist, and watch you support your body with your hands on his legs, that way he can see better your boobs as you move. when he is close he bites his bottom lip so hard just bc he wants to see you how you cum as well, literally make you look into his eyes while doing it. and if he can, shu will sit up just to kiss you and and look into your eyes up close. he loves to intimidate you with his gaze.

"cmon... keep looking at me... dont take your pretty eyes off mine..."

and if you refuse to lok at him, shu would hold you face to make your eyes meet his.

and in the case of spooning, he grabs you close, like if shu wants to get into your skin, would hold onto your tits or your belly with one hand while he other is in your neck, making you look back at him while he trust into you deep and nice. would kiss your shoulder, your neck, your back, any little part of your skin that is close to him, he would kiss it gently, and if shu speed up a little, you would hear his hot breaths in your ear, occacionally biting it.

"fuck... you're mine, you know that?... only mine.. say it..."

"you're my woman... hear it?... say it... i want to hear you..."

the aftercare is another story to tell, basically he would be either too lazy to get up or just by luck he has something to clean up in his drawyer. he is the kind of men, that would prefer to stay dirty for a while just to hold you a little longer, definetly tease you for another round or just kiss you softly as he carees you hair or skin.

this man craves you with passion, and its touch starved.

── more of my content here!

[shotgunbunny]

Anon who asked if you take requests here, i wanted to ask you if you could write a third part to lumberjack!ari because he doesnt want to leave my mind 😩 i read both fics yesterday and ive been thinking about him non-stop. If you want and can could you write a third part where he got his little wife pregnant, her period is late but doesnt wanna get him excited for nothing so she goes by herself in town to buy a pregnancy test. He finds out and goes home mad, ready to punish her but once he gets there and sees the positive pregnancy test all his anger goes away and all he does is kiss her and praise her for being such a good wife who will soon give him a baby

༻𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐩𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐩𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐩𝐬༺

WC:3.1k+ GIF by evansensations

{soft!dark!lumberjack!Ari x pregnant!reader}

{Warnings!! Soft!dark!Ari!! Ari being possessive!! Mentions of sex!! Mentions of abortion but like just the word!! Being pregnant!! Morning sickness!!}

Like real people do {part 1}

Eyes always seeking {part 2}

Ari was much softer after that night in the hot tub. From his glaces at you to how he held you. It was as if he was trying to apologize for how rough he could be through his gentle affection. And you were loving every second of it. It was such a change from his usual character. You were used to sharp glares and steeled looks and now when he looked at you, you saw adoration swirl in his blue eyes and a smile on his face. His hands that once held you so firm, now cradled your waist as he burried his face in the crook of your neck to drink your scent in and leave gentle kisses.

You had no idea why he had changed but you couldn't bring yourself to complain as you adored bathing in his love. Everyday after work you would make dinner and he would eat every bite with a peaceful smile on his face. Followed by him asking for dessert which always resulted in you on the kitchen table with your skirt of dress pulled up and Ari feasting on your pussy until you coated his beard with your essence. He devoured you everytime and would ask for a kiss in return. Loving Ari got easier by the day, and he couldn't help but let himself drown in your love.

Ari had changed after that night due to the overwhelming love he had for you. You accepted his gift and thanked him endlessly making his ego sky rocket. He knew that it was a gateway for an attempt to escape yet you never even tried, the thought had never crossed your mind. The fact that you had never even thought about running away from Ari made him soft. You wanted him just as much as he needed you. Being so gentle with you was so simple and easy that he fell into it. He loved holding you so closely and ghosting his lips across your neck. It was as if the final jigsaw piece finally slipped into place and Ari felt complete.

✧──────────────────────────────────✧

It had been a month since that night and Ari had made love to you nearly every night whispering sweet nothings to you while he wrapped his arms around you and showered you in his love. Every moment was perfect in the Levinson household now that things had changed and Ari had opened his heart to you fully.

You remember when you were laid across his chest listening to his heart beat, your head rising with his breathing. Your hand was interlaced with his after a night of love making. You stared up at him, mapping out his beauty so that you could forever remember his glory and write about it in a poem one day. He glanced down at you before holding your gaze. He raised an eyebrow at you, and you giggled making his heart beat faster causing you to blush.

"What are you looking at, little love?" He said it so softly yet his chest still rumbled almost like a purr. You kiss his chin and he hummed producing the purring noise again. "You. You're so pretty Ari. Thank you for giving me your heart." His ears turned red and he smiled so gently. He brought your joined hands up to his lips and pressed a soft kiss to your knuckles and brought them back to lay on the bed. "Pretty? I've never been called pretty, but I'm glad you find me so appealing little wifey," a beat passed and his arms tightened around your waist. "Thank you for giving me your heart first little wifey. It's my most treasured item."

You blushed and giggled, everything he said was like poetry and it made butterflies errupt in your stomach. "I promise to protect your heart forever my handsome husband." Ari grunted, his eyebrows knitting together causing him to frown. Your heart sped up and you couldn't help but fear you had said something wrong when he suddenly kissed your forehead. You looked up at him and spoke it a hushed voice almost as if telling you a secret. "You shouldn't protect my heart, my love. That's my job. I'll defend every bone in your body, I'll protect your heart and soul, and I'll always keep you safe." And just like that you fell further in love with him.

You cherished that memory so dearly, yet the next morning wasn't as romantic. You awoke feeling so ill and ran to the toilet, you were as quiet as possible as you left the bed yet Ari immediately felt you leave and his heart raced. He heard the sound of you heaving in the toilet and quicky approached. He stared, worry swirling in his iris's as he saw you with your head in the toilet bowl. He walked over slowly and caressed your back, before gathering your hair out of your face.

When you were done, you groaned and felt Ari's hands leave you before you registered him returning with a glass of water and some medicine, you smiled up at him and thanked him.

That should have been your first sign but you assumed it was the new takeout that Ari had brought you last night, and he assumed so too. When you threw up the next morning Ari remained asleep. And it kept continuing, you'd get up and be sick while Ari slept peacefully. You hated it so much, throwing up nearly every morning was causing your mood to change to fast that Ari didn't know what to do. He assumed that it was your period yet didn't mention it as he was scared of offending you or upsetting you.

✧──────────────────────────────────✧

You had woken up to empty you stomach again, early in the morning. You flushed it away and brushed your teeth, trying to think of what could be wrong with you. You spat out the remnants and rinsed your mouth with water before heading back to bed. You cuddled up to the sleeping bed, needing his heat after running out of it and into the cold. You decided to keep your ill episodes secret, you didn't want Ari to change how he was with you. Logically you knew he would take care of you and make sure you were okay, but the otherside feared he saw you as a sick wife he didn't want.

You sighed and stroked a lock of his hair out of his face before heading to sleep too. You were awoken an hour later by Ari's soft lips pressing on your forehead and a whisper of 'I love you.' before he headed off to work. You hummed and cuddled closer to Ari's side, breathing his scent in. You relaxed and fell back to sleep, dreaming of Ari and him building a treehouse.

You slowly awoke again, much later in the morning and yawned. You reflected on your dream and smiled, Ari as a dad would be so perfect. One day you'd have your own but for now you were happy hogging all of his attention. You knitted your brows together. Thinking of pregnancy sent your mind racing until it lingered on the big question: When was the last time you had your period? You gulped. It must be late.

Yet the more you thought about it the more things made sense. Your increases sex drive which Ari was thriving off. The sickness you were enduring every morning. Even how your eating habits had changed. Your heart raced. You needed to settle your mind, with a determined huff you dragged yourself out of bed and remade your bed. You decided you needed to go to town and get a pregnancy test.

You put panties and sighed remembering how they felt. You hadn't worn any in such a long time because Ari often claimed he wanted easy access to his wife. You chose to wear a simple dress and glanced outside. It was sunny, so you'd skip the jacket. You smiled, you hadn't been to town in such a long time. You decided to do a bit of glam, and decided to do a cute look so that you didn't look overdone, but you definitely looked pretty. You grabbed your bag and stuffed your phone and purse in, before heading down the stairs.

You slid your shoes, you hadn't worn them in a while either. Ari hadn't let you leave the house, but why would you want to leave, everything was so beautiful here. And Ari had made so much of the furniture that you often marvelled at it. You grabbed the pair of keys that dangled on the side and headed out and locked the door. You decided to call an Uber to get into town. You smiled, maybe you'd go and see friends. You shut that thought down quickly remembering how Ari had told you what they were really like. You were so grateful for a man like him, he took such good care of you.

You snapped out of your thoughts when you saw your Uber pull up. You checked that the door was locked and headed into town.

✧──────────────────────────────────✧

Ari wiped the sweat from his brows after delivering another blow to the tree he was currently chopping down. He felt his phone buzz and he groaned before he pulled it out. He saw a text from his friend Richard, his heart started racing. Richard had agreed to help keep an eye on you, especially if you decided to wander.Suddenly all the heat he was feeling from the sun and his work disappeared, as he felt ice settle into his blood. There on his phone was a crisp picture of you in town.

His jaw tightened and his eyes fired up with rage. How could he be so stupid as to let his guard down. Ofcourse you'd wander, you're so curious about the world. He'd chain you down when he got you home. That was for certain, he'd teach you a lesson on trying to leave him. He dislodged his axe from the tree and threw it at the ground in a fit of rage before he stormed off to his truck and yanked the door open. He got it and slammed the door shut before speeding off home.

He'd wait for you at home, so you could do your walk of shame and give your shitty excuse as to why you'd even dare leave the sanctuary he had created for you. He parked his truck before unlocking the door. He practically kicked it open and closed. He stomped to the living room and sat brooding allowing dark cloud to linger over him and rain dark thoughts into his mind. He crossed his arms across his chest and he let out an angered huff. He'd wait for you.

✧──────────────────────────────────✧

You were browsing the aisles with a shy look on your face. You kept your eyes down until you reached the feminine health section. You looked around and strolled past the pads and tampons, you swallowed. What if it was just a late period and you were over reacting? You sighed it was better to be absolutely certain rather than letting your mind torment you. You looked at the variety of tests. There were so many options. Your eyes glanced until you saw the named brands and you decided to grab 2 to be absolutely sure.

You headed to the self checkout with the clutched in your fist and scanned them both before pulling out your cash. You never remember having cash in your purse, maybe Ari put it in there. Your heart fluttered at his selflessness. He was such a good husband. Although you haven't had a proper ceremony yet, he did manage to get you both married with the forms. You cried tears of joy that day, you were officially Mrs. Levinson. But you couldn't help but ache for a beautiful church ceremony, and Ari had promised that soon he would grant your wish.

You put the tests in your bag as well as the receipt before heading out and ordering and Uber back home again. Your heart was speeding up at the possibilities and soon your hands began to shake both out of fear and excitement. Your Uber pulled up shortly and you began your journey back after a short trip into town. No one had really noticed you or cared.

And that was all thanks to Ari and his subtle threats at town meetings. How he had staked his claim on you in front of all the folks. How he had waved your certificate of marriage in all their faces and then told them if they wanted to keep their houses warm and their buildings etc. Then they'd obey his rules when it came to you. Ofcourse you were oblivious to him manipulating the whole town, and believed his every word when he claimed that they didn't care about you except him.

✧──────────────────────────────────✧

You got out of the Uber and immediately noted Ari's truck parked outside. You were trembling, did he know? You had no other option but to bite the bullet. You sucked a breath in and slowly headed towards the door and opened it. You slid your shoes off and hung the spare key up. You turned around and jumped at the enraged look in Ari's eyes. Your eyes immediately filled with tears and before he could even utter anything mean out you babbled out, "I'm sorry! I don't know! But if I am we- we can have an abortion or something!"

Ari stopped functioning. His eyes went blank and his mouth went agape. He stared at you and your timid stance. Your eyes filled with tears and your bottom lip wobbling. You stared at him begging, pleading for any sign from him. Yet he was too busy in a loop of thoughts.

'Abortion.' That's all that echoed in his head. They are linked with pregnancies. And that would mean that you're pregnant. But that's impossible because you had your period. However Ari had been presumptions about it and when he thought you were, you had sex and there was no blood. Over and over his thoughts looped. His mind flashing with possibilities when he heard you voice sad and soft breaking him out of the inner discussion in his brain.

"I-I don't know if I am. I don't wanna get our hopes up." Ari immediately bundled you in his arms keeping you close. You weren't leaving him. You were potentially having his child. He felt his heart grow ten sizes, he pulled away and looked down, a stern look still planted on his face. "Why were you in town?" You gulped and reached into the bag pulling out the two pregnancy tests. Ari's eyes widened. His heart started racing suddenly coming to terms with the fact that he could potentially have gotten you pregnant. He might be a dad.

He gulped and looked down at you, "Have you taken them yet?" His voice was a whisper and you glared up at him. He was just too happy over what might be happening to realise how silly his question is. "They're still in the box. So no I haven't." You snapped at him. Ari felt more puzzle pieces connect. Your change of mood, the strange food you started eating. He stared down at you. "What are you waiting for? Take them."

You both ran upstairs, you went into the bathroom and Ari stood outside pacing, stroking his beard feeling every second drag on way longer than it should have. You came out and looked at him. "It takes about 2 minutes. I've left them on the side." Ari drew his eyebrows together before he headed towards you and gathered you in his arms. "Listen baby, all the sign point towards yes. But don't worry too much about my reaction okay. I'm happy if you're pregnant or not. All that matters is that you are okay and healthy." You stared up at him and nuzzled into his chest.

You felt safe, you felt loved. You both stood there embracing the moment not knowing what to do or how to act. You just simply stayed in each others arms where you knew it was safe and loving. Where nothing bad could attack, and nothing cruel could hurt you. In that moment you were just Mr and Mrs Levinson. And that's all that mattered.

When you pulled away, it had been way over 2 minutes. Ari looked down at you. You half smiled before heading into the bathroom and letting out a sigh. You looked down at both tests and tears gathered in your eyes. Ari felt his heart race at your watery eyes. You turned to him with a massive grin on your face holding both the tests. "I'm pregnant!" Ari had never moved so fast. He scooped you up in his arms.

He felt tears gather in his eyes. You were pregnant with his child. He was going to be a dad. He finally had a family. "You're pregnant baby!" You giggled wiping your tears and wrapping your arms around his shoulders hugging him tightly. He pulled back and placed his forehead against yours. "We're going to have a baby!" He whispered it so excitedly that you giggled. He put you down gently and you stared up at him seeing nothing but love reflecting in his eyes.

"We're gonna have a baby! You're gonna be a daddy!" Ari immediately began to smother you in kisses, making sure to kiss away all those tears. His anger from earlier melted in seconds, he was glad you went out. He pressed a kiss to your lips. Pulling away and swiping hair behind your ears, "You make so me so fuckin' proud mama. You're gonna have my kid! You're so fuckin' amazing!" You both smiled and laughed.

Ari looked down at you, his eyes returning to concern, "You haven't had morning sickness though?" You looked down shyly before gently saying, "I have. Every morning about an hour before you start work it happens. And I can't wake you because you look so peaceful when you sleep." You pouted. Ari immediately tilted your chin upwards, he stared down at you sternly, "Listen here wifey, I don't care how peaceful I look. You wake me up, you let me help you. It's my job baby. I need to take care of you. Got it?" You nodded and kissed him.

He smiled and his features softened up, upon feeling your lips against his. He was so happy in this moment, he couldn't stop kissing you and holding you. He admired every part of you. Feeling nothing but love fill his bones and his blood. You both stared at each other, drowning in adoration when Ari spoke again, his voice was a murmur and all you could hear was a rumble due to your head on his chest. "You're so perfect wifey, you're giving me a child! God I'm gonna keep you pregnant forever baby, that's a promise."

[luciusspriggss]

thoughts.

the whole dream sequence felt like an actual dream. the future he hopes to happen. because he thinks none of them need him anymore.

i feel insane for thinking there will be another season, movie, spin-off, etc. to see what actually happens to everyone after he is gone, and ted lasso himself, but i feel like they are hinting at it?

rebecca and sam never got resolved, because ted didnt know about rebecca and sam.

he imagines beard and jane getting married, but it was stated from the beginning beard doesnt like marriage. and i know you could argue that he changed his mind because of jane, but i personally see them doing some weird shit and ted somehow being involved. i don't understand why ted wouldn't be there (unless he thinks beard doesnt want him anymore)

can keep going on about all the different futures and how ted isn't in ANY of them, AND it cuts to him waking up?

it's depressing because it seems like ted only feels like he is useful for helping people better themselves, and once they are good he leaves. like that is his job. he helps others. he keeps finding people to help.

never once doing anything for himself. it's like he doesn't think he can be part of anything that is lasting. it is just so fucking sad

and in the end he is coaching his son, but to me he doesn't look happy? i dunno if it is because i am autistic or something?

also, bitter that ted and trent never had a heart to heart like everyone else did. i'm not saying they needed to acknowledge ted and trent being a thing, their story just seems unfinished.

in his dream sequence, he finishes it, thinks it needs to be renamed, and trent becomes a best selling author

i dunno, it just feels unfinished because we don't know anything about trent's book or how ted actually feels about it, and if he ever reads the full thing at all. from what we have seen from ted's perspective, is him making it to 40something. we never see him read the entire book, he always puts it down.

the whole future montage just felt like a dream to me the whole time of what ted thinks is best for everyone

i dunno. i could be completely wrong, but the show feels unfinished. i guess i'm a BELIEVER there is going to be closure in some way kind of

or MAYBE that is the whole point. we have to look at everything that was shown to us, the implications that ted dreamed of that future, where he ultimately ends up, and we need to BELIEVE he is going to do what's best for him, which is going back to Richmond.

they don't want to show us it, we have to believe?

oh boy do i got them clown shoes on you best believe

[darkniters]

jschlatt whos a bartender

im adding onto this post

your group of friends all leave one by one, leaving you the only one of your group left in the bar, waiting for your lift home (because you cant drink drive!)

you decide not to drink anything else, having your fill for the night and just ready to conk out the second your head hits the pillows.

youre reproached by the bartender, youve been sitting at the bar while you wait, not thinking one person is worthy to occupy an entire table. he greets you with a smile.

“you want anything else?” he leans forward as he asks this, smile on his lips. you shake your head, leaning in closer again.

“no, no, im done for the evening, thank you though!” you can tell yourself its because you dont want any alcohol in you all you want, but really its because that shit costs money.

“hey, if you want i can make you something alcohol free?” he offers, “it’d be my honor, and i’ll even make it on the house. just for you toots” he grins, subtly flirting with you

a roll of your eyes and a small chuckle leaves your lips. “alright, if you insist.”

it seems as if this bartender cant stop smiling, as he moves away, he’s got the widest smile youve ever seen from a person, teeth showing in all their pearly glory. he briefly walks away to get a glass.

while he’s gone, however, the universe decided that you’re its next victim.

a man approaches the chair beside you, and sits himself down. theres a strong attempt from you to pay him no heed, to focus on the man behind the bar making your elaborate yet alcohol free drink, but this man is in dire need of your attention it seems, staring you out while you look forward.

you sigh, turn towards him, and give him a small, unmotivated smile.

you’re not really listening to what he has to say, but he does say “whats a place like you doing in a girl like this” which is just. not right. at all. it makes you laugh though.

you don’t care about this guy enough to listen to him babble on about himself, and it seems the same comes from the bartender, finishing your drink and setting it infront of you.

while the guy doesnt seem like trouble, youre still wildly uncomfortable, and you give a sideeye to the bartender. his brown eyes are already on you, as he scratches the side of his face. the beard below his nails make a noise.

he understands your look, and he nods subtlety.

“hey man, this is my girlfriend youre speaking to. may wanna back off a bit.” the bartender says monotonously. he then reaches out his hand and grabs ahold of yours, gripping it softly.

the other man is surprised, probably just as surprised you are. you play along though.

“yeah sorry, i just wanted to see this man on shift, cant get any better than a man in uniform, right?” you regard cheekily. although its brash, it’s exactly what you’re thinking.

his tight fit black shirt is doing something to you, and he’s now looking out for you? you gotta come back here more often.

the bartender grins as the man leaves in a huff, giving up on his attempts to further advance with you. at some point, his fingers began to run left to right over your knuckle, without either of you noticing, it seems.

when you look back to him, his face is red, still gripping your hand. he clears his throat “apologies, i didnt mean to go to that level of extreme… in which saying we were together…” he seems flustered and embarrassed that he thought of that, and he physically cringed at himself for even bringing it to light.

he attempted to move his hand away, but your clamp on his hand was stronger. the heat between you two couldve melted the ice in your still undrunk drink. you cant help but smile. “i didnt mind at all, thank you.”

both of you are overjoyed that there are more than one bartenders working tonight, because everyone else wouldve been left waiting, your red faces looking into eachother as your hands stay pressed together.

he clears his throat.

“um. its not often time i find myself asking this but. can i give you my number?”

you pretend to think, lifting your unoccupied hand and tracing a finger around the rim of the drink he made for you.

you respond quietly, jokingly, “only because you paid for my drink”

a smile is exchanged between you to. he writes his number on a napkin, and leaves you to put it in while he runs off to server other customers, his eyes often looming back over to you while you drink your final drink of the night.

you call him over before you leaving, letting him know that youre going.

“please let me know when you get home!” he calls out as you walk away.

you turn your head and smile his way, giving a quick nod and a wave his direction.

when the bartender finishes his shift, he finally gets access to his phone again, you shouldn’t have your phone with you behind the counter! you’ll get distracted easily!

he sees he has 3 messages from an unknown number

‘hiiii im home btw :]’

‘wait i didnt give you my name oopsies‘

‘anyways GOOBDIGHT’

he cant help but let out one of those large grins he does, hoping he will see you at the bar, or other places, again soon.

[tellmegoodbye]

For the Tarlos ask game!

💞 How did the first "I love you" happen? Do you hc that 2x12 was the first time they said it properly? Do you think it came before 2x04?

💬 Share some notable moments from TK and Carlos' message history.

Hi Eliza! 💚

💞 How did the first "I love you" happen? Do you hc that 2x12 was the first time they said it properly? Do you think it came before 2x04?

While I don't think 2x12 was the first I love you, I do think that it was the first time they said it with that much weight.

When I think about how TK and Carlos were both afraid of expressing and accepting love for different reasons, I think about how something like this is likely to have slipped out in a quiet moment, as opposed to some big grand statement like 2x12 was.

I imagine they both felt it pretty quickly after getting together, that what they were feeling went beyond attraction, it's love. And that scared them. Carlos probably said it to TK several times while he was sleeping, just to know what those words feel like when they leave his mouth, and every time he says it it feels more and more undeniable.

TK knows he feels this way too, but after Alex he wont let himself fall too fast. He still doesnt feel secure in the relationship because it's so new and he hasn't yet learned that Carlos' love for him is unconditional. It isn't until Carlos lets it slip on a night when TK only appears to be sleeping. It isn't until TK hears those words and feels a sense of belonging and joy that he hadn't felt in a very long time, that he finally begins to let himself accept the fact that this is different. That it's okay to love Carlos, because Carlos loves him too.

💬 Share some notable moments from TK and Carlos' message history.

The first one that comes to mind is a conversation from 2x02, after Tim died.

Carlos: I heard about what happened. I'm so sorry.

Carlos: I know you weren't planning on staying here tonight, but I don't want you to be alone.

TK: I don't have any clean clothes.

Carlos: You can borrow mine. Just tell me what you need right now.

TK: Just you. And a shower.

Carlos: Done.

Carlos: I'll see you soon. I love you ♡

TK is a menace, as per usual, and a very enthusiastic lizard dad.

TK: image attached

TK: Lou is going to look so handsome!

Carlos: TK, it's July. Halloween is months away.

TK: Who said anything about Halloween?

Carlos: You bought our bearded dragon a cowboy costume for no particular reason. Why does that not surprise me?

TK: Carlos!! You said "our" bearded dragon. I told you he'd grow on you!

Carlos: Yeah yeah. He's okay I guess.

Finally, this is a moment that came to mind when I was writing my wedding fic. A conversation just before the ceremony, because they can't help but text each other even when theyre supposed to be apart.

TK: Miss you already.

Carlos: We're going to see each other again in two hours, TK.

Carlos: I miss you too though.

TK: How's your mom?

Carlos: She's okay. We had a good cry.

Carlos: I'm really happy, TK. I know I haven't been the best fiancé lately, but I love you so much. I won't ever let you forget that.

TK: I love you too baby. I still can't believe I get to marry you.

TK: My dad is micromanaging the schedule again. I have to go reel him in.

Carlos: Please do!

TK: I'll see you soon, almost-husband ^_^

Carlos: I love you. Almost-husband.

---

Send Me Tarlos Asks!

[adidegmez]

spn s14 spoilers

s14 ep1(stranger in a strange land)

i want to watch spn but at the same time i dont. last 2 seasons. i dont want to say goodbye. but i need to kearn how their stories end. i must say dean looks amazing. they'll find dean, sam and cas theyre trying so hard.

s14 ep2(gods and monsters)

poor nick, lucifer used him. i love bobby. when he came back i didnt think we would see him this much. its nice to see him he is like our bobby but he is not him. i wish he could come back. cas' speech was beautiful, he changed so much. i love him. jack is right and i dont like that. dean would agree with jack. but dean cant die theyll find another way. and theyll save dean. why didnt cas go with nick? dean isnt dean its Michael right? that was the plan. i hope he is dean but i dont think so.

s14 ep3(the scar)

dean is back. the beard, really dean. I thought Kaia's story would be left unfinished. im glad theyre telling it. Jack is still young and has been through so much already. jack saved the girl. and now he is sick. i love dad cas, when he is talking to jack he is awesome. dean said yes and saved his brother and son. yes michaelhurt people but dean did what he had to do.

s14 ep4(mint condition)

dean wanted a friend like stuart. when he was mad at his dad he could just go and hang out with his friend. he now has cas but it wouldve been nice for him when he was young. i love fanboy dean. his love for movies is beautiful. i hope they can have a nice halloween next year. i would like to see the cosplay.

s14 ep5(nightmare logic)

jack and cas finally went to hunt. i wish we could see that. i love bobby but he needs to be more chill. he is bobby but not our bobby. our bobby's relationship with the boys was different, it was beautiful. i missed him. i didnt think bobby would live this long. i thought they would kill him. im glad he is alive. i am not sure about bobby and mary tho.

s14 ep6(optimism)

i missed Charlie. They had planned everything but the "old man" destroyed Dean. He never expected this. he is offended. jackrealy played his role. i like both of them. they are amazing. i like how both of them thinks Michael is their fault and not the other ones. i love how jack is trying to convince dean to forgive himself. i liked how sam convinced Charlie to stay. i missed our Charlie and bobby. jack is truly a winchester. he is not okay.

s14 ep7(unhuman nature)

hi cas! nick learned some stuff from luci, like torturing:(. dean let jack drove the baby:'). and what is wrong with dean? jack is their son dean'S cas' and sam's. and they love him so much. i mostl forget jack is just a baby. at least rowena helped, it was nice of her. nick is a psychopath. he lost his mind. if he doesnt want to feel those feelings he shouldve asked for help from the boys or he couldve killed himself but he chose lucifer. when lucifer comes back there will be chaos. hell cause so much pain but nick doesnt even care. i thnik luci will save jack probably not willingly but i think jack will live because of him. maybe hell get his grace back.

s14 ep8(byzantium)

no no no no. this cant be happenning jack cant die. dean and cas werent with him. even if they were he cant die. theyll bring him back. im glad kelly got the chance to see her boy. the winchesters and cas, they raised jack well. he is amazing. empty is ruthless. im glad it didnt take cas now but it will take him when he is finally happy. i hope it cant but this story will end, cas' story will end. and i guess thats how it will end. this is bad but for now both cas and jack are safe. im happy for lily she saved jack and she got her reward in the end. the winchesters are back together again. i wish Chuck would come. he couldve beaten Michael easily. and the boys wouldnt have to fight with him. but Chuck is with his sister idek what theyre doing but it wouldnt take long to kill Michael. boys are great dads. they have their son back, they really love their son. i love seeing team free will 2.0. they are all amazing.

s14 ep9(the spear)

no garth wouldnt do that. i think he is working with the winchesters. i love garth. i think i love ketch too. he did some(a lot maybe) bad things but he is trying to do the right thing. i dont like the fact that dean lied to kaia. yes they need the spear, hopefully theyll keep their end of the deal and return her to her home. why did Michael let sam live? what did he do to him? no! Michael took dean, again. dean isnt gone hell beat Michael. dean will win.

s14 ep10(nihilism)

hi pamela. dean's dream, its beautiful. but where is jack in that dream? i cant ake Michael serious. he has dean's face. btw ill always choose dean againts anyone and anything. because hell always win he is always on the right side. jack shouldnt believe what Michael says. im the cage?! dean is so powerfull. hell keep him there for a while. at least billie helped them. 1>14,000,605. dean will save the World, again.

s14 ep11(damaged goods)

Dean says goodbye to everyone. thats not good, hes going to do something. well, what deans doing is not the perfect solution but it can provide more time for others to find a good way to get out of this situation. dean didnt say goodbye to cas and jack?

s14 ep12(prophet and loss)

i thought nicks story ended. dean you did everything you could do for sammy and you are still apologizing. sam, did it. he conviced dean.

s14 ep13(lebanon)

No one can steal the baby. i hate that girl. omg! he wanted his dad. john is back. winchesters are back together. cant they be happy just for once. constantine:) . im glad they all got to spend time together but i hoped john could stay and they could be happy. but this is supernatural and they dont get happy endings most of the time.

s14 ep14(ouroboros)

jack is using his soul more:(. i love rowena more now. rowena cares about them. she cares about jack. i dont want jack to be soulless. yes jack is a winchester and i think cas is a winchester too. if Michael is really dead and jack got his power back then whats gonna happen rest of the season?

s14 ep15(peace of mind)

jack doesnt have a soul, great! well, at least he is trying to do good things.

s14 ep16(don't go in the woods)

i dont like those kids. i hope we'll never see them again.

s14 ep17(game night)

nick became lucifer. i couldnt tell the differance. he was a monster. jack didnt do wrong, if he didnt kill nick he would try to do the same thing again. yes something is wrong with jack but he will get better. Mary pushed Jack too hard, maybe if she left him alone for a few minutes he would be able to pull himself together.

s14 ep18(absence)

No, Jack couldn't have killed Mary. dean and sam theyll be devastated. dean dont be mad at cas. he was just trying to do what he thought was right. The flashback scenes are killing me. I get sadder with each scene. There is 1 season left, I have been watching their stories for 3 months. I don't know how to say goodbye to them. rowena changed so much, i like the winchester affect. she cares about jack and the others. i didnt think mary would die. but she did.

s14 ep19(jack in the box)

hi bobby! i hate dumah now, i didnt like her before and now she is worse. Jack is very open to manipulation. cas did a good thing. dumah doesnt deserve that kinda power. They should have known that box couldn't hold Jack. Dean can be so cruel sometimes, he lied to Jack so easily. and sam he wasnt okay with it he struggelled while lying to jack. i hope they can figure this out. and thing could be way it was. lucifer always makes everything worse.

s14 ep20(moriah)

Chuck!! if jack was sam den would do anyhing to save sam. jack could be saved. jack will return only he can beat Chuck. and he will beat Chuck, he has to. Chuck is a monster. jack is just trying to be good. im glad dean didnt kill jack. he saw jack was struggling and he was trying to do te right thing so he didnt kill him. 1 last season

[hella1975]

hella can u give me a visual description of some of ur ocs for toab i need to draw them

anon is facing the classic dilemma of taob readers since the dawn of time (august 2020) and for once im gonna actually do something about it so i present unto you, artists of tumblr dot com, an exhaustive rundown of taob oc descriptions:

kanut: i feel like kanut is one whose appearance is pretty solidified now. he has white hair that falls down to the base of his back that he typically pulls back into a half-knot, with a short white beard. go grandpa go. he's described as generally having a 'rough' 'sea-faring' apperance bc he's one of those people that really doesnt give a fuck about appearance especially when it has nothing to do with his healing, so while he wears the typical water tribe clothing, he'll usually have his sleeves rolled up or stains on his tunic etc. he has blue eyes and isn't very muscled because he stays out of all combat due to being the healer, but he's one of the taller tribesmen. he has those scars on his hands that cover his palms and knuckles and quite sharp features.

chena: COLOSSAL freak of a man. like i wanted him to be comically large seeing as i was working with a kids show universe where shit like that happens, so zuko literally just stands past this man's ELBOW. fucking giganotosaurus rex. he's incredibly broad and muscled as well as just tall, very thick-necked and beefy face. like it's v important to me that chena's muscle isn't the streamlined, airbrushed kind; he's a total beefcake. he's COVERED in scars like he has a specific slit in his eyebrow that needs to be mentioned bc ZUKO GAVE IT HIM but aside that honestly go ham with the scars. his eyes are grey but more of a blueish grey, and he has dark brown hair that he does quite detailed braids in to pull back out of his face and fall down his back.

tomkin: he's v skinny/lanky and trying very hard to look bigger than he is. he wears his dark brown hair in a warrior's wolf tail and effectively looks like an older, less-burdened-by-The-Horrors version of sokka. he does tend to style the braid part of his wolftail to come out of his hair a little though instead of lying flat bc he thinks it makes him look taller (it doesn't). his eyes are a very light blue.

nanook: he has shoulder-length hair that's a light brown colour but ive realised some people mean 'nearly blonde' when they say light brown whereas i just meant 'not nearly black' like a lot of the other warriors. he wears a bead on one of the front strands and it usually falls so that it's sitting by his jaw. nanook is the tallest of the tom nook & ko trio and he's pretty toned but more in a 'has actually grown into himself' kind of way than a 'seasoned warrior' kind of way. he has a round face and generally looks very steady and calm. he has a birthmark on his hand (between his thumb and forefinger) that looks like a wave and he wears ivory bracelets on each wrist.

aput: IDC WHAT YOU DO WITH APUT BUT KNOW HE'S HOT. HE IS THE FIT ONE OF THE SWT. HE'S THEIR CASANOVA. MAKE HIM ATTRACTIVE OR DIE BY MY BLADE. he has black hair that falls to around shoulder length and he doesnt usually style it in any way, and he's the second burliest in the group. he's got a much more lean muscle than chena and it makes him quicker, so fighting-wise those two are almost evenly matched (chena just wins out though. pure aggression will get you everywhere). aput has a sharp jaw and deep blue eyes

tulok: he's the smallest of the adults and has brown hair that falls to the middle of his back. he usually just braided it back or wore it in a style very similar to korra's with the blue ribbons, but since shuhon prison he's been wearing it in an earth kingdom braid. he's easily the most put together of the group bc he has a real thing for keeping clean and tidy, so his clothes are always pristine and his personal grooming is always up to date.

tovah: she's incredibly tall and lithe with sleek, black hair that falls to her hips that she wears in a PERFECT ponytail like not a HAIR out of place. she's all sharp angles and narrowed green eyes and she tends to wear earth kingdom uniform. her skin is tanned and she doesn't visibly carry any weapons on her unless she's undercover in the army and they're military-issued.

some references from beautiful fanart i have the absolute pleasure of being gifted! i wish i could put every bit of art ever made for my ocs here but im going mainly off whose showed up first when going through the tag and also any that i think just Really Captured how i personally see the character in my mind:

this portrait of kanut by @pyro-bee

atla-style tovah by @lordrei

tom nook (+ zuko) by @gloomybirdie

tovah elle woods supremacy by @herebutnotpresent

another pyro-bee kanut by @pyro-bee

tovah character sheet by @herebutnotpresent (this one is SUPER helpful)

and tons more under the 'taob art' tag if it helps!

[stiffyck]

thinking about genderqueer scar.

thinking of scar wearing super masc clothing in s4-5, thinking how he looks at cleo and joe and how free they are in their gender expressing, but if he isnt wearing masc clothes, how will the others react? thinking how he desperately wants to hide his scars when he first joins hermitcraft, how he's afraid of judgement and losing the connections he made. looking at how iskall just wears dresses without any remorse and feeling jealous. but hes a man, why would he feel jealous of someone wearing a dress? he likes wearing suits! he likes looking fancy!

cue s6, concorp vs sahara. grian pulls out ariana griande as propaganda and scar just cant stop looking. keeps feeling jealous at how everyone seem so comfortable in their own skin and how the minute he sees his scars in the mirror, or he sees his body, himself, he doesnt see himself. he feels disgusted. cub notices and asks his long time friend if he wants to do promotion ads, like sahara seems to do with ease. scar reassures him hes fine, they dont need to do that. cub just shrugs and tells him the offer will always be there for him.

scar doesnt know what to do. so, he sews mystic suiits for him and cub, and tells him they can do the promo together. and he added glitter and bright blue, sparkles and blue handkerchief. and cub didnt say anything how it wasnt manly enough. just grins at him and tells him how beautiful the garments are. and scar wears them and it doesnt feel wrong, not like his bomber jacket, and he adds flowers to it, flowers that dont match, but people expect it from clumsy, oblivious scar.

s7, and after discovering cub wont judge him for not wearing masc clothes, his outfit of the season is wizard robe. he has an excuse to wear something long, something without pants. and to say he liked it would be an understatement. thinking how he wore this robe for a good half of the season, and thinking how he would twirl it while he walks in his magical village. the beard was itchy, he would only look in the mirror if he was only wearing the robe, still hiding most of his scars. thinking how it would be his comfort clothing after a long day of wearing the aqua town outfit. thinking how he made his mayor outfit ugly bc people wouldnt question how not manly it looked. purple suit with yellow pants? what a silly idea, sounds like scar. bdubs complimenting the outfit almost everyday, cub helping with the turf war wearing a pharaoh robe, which made scar adding long tails to his jacket.

s8 and embracing the most eccentric outfit. yes, he was wearing pants, but he was wearing a hat! and being complimented for his looks, saying his scars made him look badass, not being alone, he felt ready to show more of himself. looking in the mirror doesnt bring that sense of disconnection. heck, taking his shirt off during third life was the best thing that could've ever happen to him. people being distracted by it, he felt this sense of confidence.

wearing the wizard robe again in last life, to twirl again, to give himself a break from the pants, even growing his hair for the first time, just feeling free. it didnt help he ended alone, needing to make contracts with others to gain some sort of friendship. but they all went back to hermitcraft, and mumbo forced everyone in boatem to have a mandatory sleepover, to let everyone cry bc crying was a human thing to do, and no one judging scar to arrive with a nightgown.

and in s9, he forgone the masc look completely, embracing the fem look. long hair, fancy dress, earings, tiara, everything. and people saying he looked beautiful. and thinking how great he felt. and thinking how he looks himself in the mirror, in his tree, and finally seeing himself. this is scar. that's him.

just thinking about genderqueer scar

-- bloop anon (sorry for giving you this best of word vomit, and no, i havent watch any episode from s6 to s4)

YEEESSSSS OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

[am-i-sans]

dnd adventures 41

we spent a long time talking about weed and shadow the hedgehog

inferno pops out of eeby deeby by tori oh no. frog says hi. tori is cursing at this lol. frog shows sunnie inferno's cat. suzy tackles him lol. frog introduces inferno to sunnie. inferno pretends to not know sunnie xD suzy says he told her to beat up sunnie. inferno got a 22 to deceive but sunnie also got a 22 wtf. sunnie trusts the kids more xD tori and sunnie just give each other a look.

suzy bites inferno for covering her mouth. clamped down lol. he manages to escape tho! tori says she normally tries to stop suzy but not when it involves inferno. inferno flips her off lol. cam goes eeby deeby. sunnie asks tori what inferno did, so much my guy.

dess and dans are still getting high. talking about how fucked up eeby deeby is. dess mentions another storage and freaks dans out. 'dess are you ok?' 'what do you think?' 'i think no but i wont push.' dans asks why dess joined this weird journey and she says she has a contract. cause of tall ass creepy elf man. cant talk about it cause contract stuff maybe lol. dans peeks in the bathroom on undyne shes snoring up a storm. he says his lawyer could help dess get out of her contract xD his lawyer is gaster and hes a nerd. dess says "oh 2 of them thats weird." "yeah thats weird."

suzy is poking inferno lol. run away inferno! sunnie asks if thats normal xD tori asks if sunnie is in town long. not long just research. inferno is still running from suzy lol. frog makes sunnie put them on his shoulders. sunnie is ghost hunting? he doesnt believe in ghosts tho like wtf xD frog says cam got possessed by a ghost lol. sunnies like what?! tori's like yeah lol. sunnie is also a flat earther nooooooo!

inferno is just walking randomly. he walked in a loop oh no welcome back. suzy pokes him again lol. tori is critiquing sunnie for not believing shit he writes xD suzy kicks inferno in the shin. sunnies next research is a haunted house outside of town. let frog go! sunnie pretends to not know infernos name and tries to take his name xD 'wouldnt you like to fucking know.' tori is surprised he still does that lol.

lady of the house set fire to it and killed everyone side, sounds familiar. very ironic. he was invited to investigate by a fan of his books. a bit sus. sunnie is fucking blind. both tori and sunnie said no ghost hunting DX tori tucks suzy under her arm like a football. tori has sunnie kneel and she peels frog off his head. tori mentions undyne is out of commission and inferno gets excited.

dans and dess finished the boof and now shes pacing. dans is a bit worried. undyne sings in her sleep xD. dans asks dess if shes worried about berdly. kinda but theres a lot on her mind. 'what are you a cop?' fuck no xD he says again she doesnt need to tell him if she doesnt want to, hes just all ears. shes worried from the crossover event cause she didnt appear in spingledorfs future. dans says maybe she just settled down somewhere. she cant go home, same buddy. 'you are fucked up and abnormal. i like you.' dans is so high he sees 3 of her lol. this is her first time seeing a bearded dans lol.

as dess and dans hang out undyne starts sleep walking and broke the bathtub. dans tries to lead her toward the bed and she fucking smacks him wtf. dess throws a snowball in her face to wake her up. doesnt work and she barrels toward dess. dess tries to restrain undyne with magic but since shes high it turns into wild magic lol. dess is blue now oh no and undyne slams into her and they fall over.

group 1 arrives at the hotel. sunnie pats frog on the head he was glad to meet them. tori asks if theyll see him tomorrow. suppose they will! tori sends the kids upstairs. inferno follows. they see undyne outcold ontop of a blue dess. dans is trying to pull her off dess. she wakes up finally. shes so confused lol. dess shuffles away lol. dans hands her some water. he tells her she was sleepwalking and smacked him in the nose for a nosebleed lol. and destroyed the bathtub. inferno says tori wont let us go to a haunted house. dess calls undyne a murder slut xD dans tells inferno theres a soap cart at the end of the hall lol then removes dess blue curse.

tori comes up and is very concerned. dans asks how brother time was and dess takes it the wrong way and then walks into a wall. cam pops out of eeby deeby by dess with an egg in their mouth xD dans catches tori up on what happaned with them. suzy and frog ask tori what cannabis is xD ask again in 10 years.

we long rest and frog is very energetic and they want to see sunnie. breakfast first kiddo. dess tells frog cannabis is a plant lol. cam says dess really likes quests. undynes got a headache and dess picks up frog from jumping on her. dess says she saw frog die 40 times or so. like girl what. tori of course really hates that. after breakfast frog runs out and starts asking people where the haunted house is.

frog you smell like weed stop that xD the guy just runs.dans is just having vani sniff out sunnie and undyne follows him. haunted house! frog just runs in okie dokie. frog avoids a hole then starts yelling for sunnie. time to split up! very burnt home. are we sure this isnt tori's family? after a long investigation i didnt bother writing, inferno sees a ghostly woman. cam returns to eeby deeby lol. undyne just wants to leave. ghost lady hates the husband guy i guess. sunnie isnt here.

[anadrenalineslut]

I need to know what you think about the whole Joe thing because at this point I'm genuinely so confused as to what's going on

i hesitate to even answer this at all, anon, because I'm honestly in the same boat as you.

all i can honestly say is something about this situation doesn't feel right to me. i don't really wanna say too much because i dont want to fan the joe is a beard bullshit but the whole "differences in personality" thing... almost that exact same wording was used during the coverage of the harris x swift break-up. im not gunna look it up but if you research the people article for it, you can see what im talking about.

we also know that as soon as midnights, her most accurate album to date, she wrote sweet nothing about her relationship with Joe. Its a really hard pill for me to swallow that after seven years of music about how supportive and how understanding he is of her career, the thing that broke them apart was "differences in personality."

but then there is haim, gigi, blake and ryan, austin unfollowing him off instagram. why? why would they do that right now, in the middle of her tour being made about this fucking break up, when they absolutely KNOW that people will be reading into those actions. however, there is also the possibility that none of those people were actually following on insta to begin with because he doesnt actually post on there. i have no way of verifying that they actually recently unfollowed him but the words of the same fans who believed he deleted the cat photo of his insta when it was just a story in the first place.

all i can say for certain is the pap pictures are planned easter eggs about a work related project. she knows we expect speak now so it would be the perfect time to throw another curveball at us. i can also see taylor deciding to have some fun with the media coverage of her tour, especially if she is announcing a film soon in which she tackles fame and the media specifically in it, when she told us in lavender haze the way she protects her relationship is by ignoring the media. like, she could be showing us how much of a mastermind she actually is. like, im getting so much deja vu from 1989 era and the fact that she used the same wording as calvin harris break up, that makes me so suspicious. i still think she's planning on coming out this summer so im not sure if this could somehow be related to that?

i keep going back to the coverage of this relationship, the media narrative she crafted of this man who supports her superstardom and just wants to be in her presence and nothing else, and how it's a complete 180 from everything she has let us know up to this point. like, the fact that in the span of 2 weeks, we have had swifties take the narrative from "they broke up" to "he cheated on her" also just makes me feel like super gross about the situation.

like i am just not a fan of all the drama about taylor's personal life all of a fucking sudden now that we think she's single as a fandom. like, wow, and like she spent so much of their relationship shading the people who called it fake or disgenuine, that i just... i dont know. nothing about how this is playing out makes any sense to me.

taylor hid the relationship for almost a year, you don't think she would have waited until the tour was over to release this news??? and then we got the pic of joe, which like, thats the first pap pic ive ever seen of him alone i think and that also makes me question why we're seeing him right after taylor. like, she was so happy right up until tour, it kind of makes me think something dramatic did happen because why did they all unfollow him?

i just don't really know what the fuck is going on. I dont really believe any of what they say is the reason they broke up, i guess. if they did break up, it sure as shit isnt even close to what the media is running with imho.

and then im like idk this whole thing just doesnt make sense and that's really all i have to say about it.

[chipsncookies]

About PLA Ingo, is he an old man or about the same age as his BW counterpart? I mean besides the beard he's growing, he also appears a little shorter, but he doesn't have wrinkles and stuff.

Sorry for taking a long time to answer. I do believe some time has passed but we don't know exactly how much HOWEVER we got new evidence (kinda) now so it's analysis time.

Firstly the shorter stature can be easily explained, Ingo has bad posture. He seems to be hunching and his legs are slightly bent (ingo why)

Secondly from his official art we can see the signs of wear on his hat and coat.

There are many factors that contribute to the wear:

1) Being a warden and living in hisui, hes constantly exposed to the elements (especially if he live with the pearl clan who resides in snowy place)

2) assuming he always wear the coat and hat, and his modern day clothes aren't meant to be worn outdoors they could have deteriorated faster than we expect

Everything else underneath the coat doesnt show signs of wear bc they're either replaced (dress shirt for pearl clan outfit) or (i assume) he got new, similar ones (pants and shoes) so we can ignore them.

I also want to show his hand

They look so wrinkly like old man hand but remember this is meiji era, many things require manual labour like he might need to cut his own firewood (?) and things like that, that could contribute to the wrinkles rather than natural aging

Thirdly is the closest to conclusive evidence for his age we can get (at least for minimum estimate).

Source here, many thanks to them)

I noted before how strange he grew a goatee but keep his hair short but this shows otherwise. It seems like the devs wanted to give him a hair bun? Ponytail? of sorts but cut it in the end, not sure why but this gives us a chance to theorise.

In order to tie a bun you need a long hair, and assuming he never cut his hair, this is what i imagine (minimum estimate):

I couldn't find definitive answer how fast hair grows bc a lot of factors contributed so I'll just theorise from my experience, during the lockdown i spent a year not cutting my hair (my hair was just a bit longer than submas when it started), i grew hair long enough to put in a mini bun. So i think for bigger bun like ingo's he'd need longer hair, which i assume 1 and a half year to 2 years. I have no idea if it's the same for facial hair but i think the hair is more conclusive bc he could have trimmed the goatee a little (seeing how only a spot on his chin is left to grow).

So yeah that's it, based on this analysis i theorise that Ingo has been in Hisui for a minimum of 1.5-2 years.

I hear you skeptics questioning how did a stranger not from hisui become a warden in that short amount of time, but remember ingo is a subway boss, he's more experienced about battles and has more pkmn knowledge than hisuian people AND regular trainer in his original world, i feel once he adjusted to life in hisui he could've speedran becoming a warden.

Also some people raised concern how he gained the trust of irida and pearl clan as a whole, and irida has always valued safety first, but i think this is precisely why they'd take ingo in, he's strong and it's shown in game he deeply care for hisui people, so i think pearl clan has no issue recruiting him as a warden. He's also kinda indebted to them for saving him so i think it makes him more likely to join them.

That's all i could think of so yeah. Ingo could easily be older than what we think but we'll never know unless we receive new conclusive info 😅

[obsessive-ego]

Just go with it part 2

Musical beetlejuice x reader

You have to meet juno and pretend you and bj are getting married

Nsft sorta, mentions of activity

Part 1

"Babes"

....

"Sugar"

...

"Y/n"

...?

"Y/n wake up, come on babes"

...!

"Beej?" You mumble rubbing your eyes "what's wrong?" You say in a whisper.

He doesnt respond, you turn on the lamp by your bed and check your phone clock

5:42am

You sigh, looking back at the demon, now being able to see him clearly, you freeze upon seeing that the demon was now completely purple, his hair, his beard, his tie, all deep purple.

"What's wrong?" You ask again, more fear in you voice then intended

"Okay y/n" he starts, using your name rather then a pet name was never a good sign "so you remember a few nights ago when that suit came by to see if I was lying about our relationship?"

"He's back?!" You sit up, more awake "wait... wasnt the repercussion to that not that bad? Just some extra work for you?"

Beetlejuice rubs his neck "yeah, thing about that, it's not him... my mother is here, to talk to you personally..." he trails off refusing to look at you

"Your mother...." you repeat feeling your stomach drop

"Yeah..."

"What's gonna happen if she finds us out?" You ask in a whisper

"...who knows with her" the demon spits before looking away.

The two of you remain in silence over the shit beetlejuice has gotten you into it.

Beetlejuice huffs out his nose as his focus goes back to you.

"So y/n, I mean honey~" the demon pulls you up from your bed and into a side hug "ready to meet mommy dearest?" Beetlejuice tried to smile, make light of the situation, but his hair betrayed him, remaining a deep purple, even though he tried his best to plaster a grin across his face for your sake.

You didnt know much about Beetlejuice's mother, other then she didnt exactly win mother of the year, beej only opened up about her a handful of times, long story short, you knew this was gonna be a rough experience for both of you, but mostly Beej.

Beetlejuice drops his jacket around your shoulders, pulling the same ring he gave you to fool the suit, the same tacky, pretty ring, the band was black and white, and resembled a snake, the gem was a brilliant green, your heart swelled at the sight of the ring.

The ghoul drops on one knee, and gently slides the ring onto your middle finger, pausing to kiss your hand before giving you wink, under different circumstances you would die from such a cheesy romantic gesture, but now was not that time, you did appreciate beetlejuice trying to lighten the mood.

"Alright honey, you remember the drill?"

"Yes"

"That's my future wife, let's not keep the bitch waiting" he smiles linking arms with you

Future wife...

You couldnt help but give the ghoul a soft smile at the thought.

Beetlejuice takes a deep breath, smoothing his hair back, wiping the purple away in favour of his default green.

The demon grabs your hand begins to lead you to your living room, you could barely focus over the sound of your heart pounding, who could blame you, you were about to come face to face with someone Beetlejuice was afraid of.

As the two of you head down the hall , she was finally in sight, you felt your stomach drop, in your recliner sat an old woman, dressed completely in red, she had a permanent scowl across her face, her whole presence give off a bad feeling.

"Lawrence, you took your sweet time fetching your fiance" she barked causing beetlejuice to flinch

"Ya know breathers, they like their sleep-" he forces a laugh, purple slowly creeping back into his hair

"Nonsense, it's nearly 6am, that's more then a reasonable time for breathers to wake and start their pointless routines" she waves off, beetlejuice frowns and leads you to the couch, where the both of you sit.

"Its been awhile huh Ma? Like I was saying earlier, it's nice to see you again and-" beetlejuice was babbling

"Zip it" was all she said and beetlejuice clamped his mouth shut and gazed down staring at his feet. "Lawrence, I didnt come here for pointless pleasantries" her eyes meet yours "y/n l/n I dont know what Lawrence has done to you or promised you, but I can assure you he doesnt care about you, and just wants freedom, further more Lawrence, do you honestly think this breather could love you? This game of yours needs to come to an end, there is alot of paper work tied up in this farce of yours"

You were taken back by her words, she really didn't beat around the bush.

"I dont-" you start, voice trembling

"Ma, y/n loves me and I love them, see~" beetlejuice grabs your hand to show his mother the ring, she eyes the ring for a moment, then goes bad to staring daggers into her son, her scowl never faltering.

"Tacky" she huffs, a simple response like that was enough to shut her son down, beetlejuice pulled away from you, pressing his back firm against the couch, lips pressed shut and hands clamped together in his lap.

"As I was saying, Lawrence is a natural born troublemaker, and youd be smart to back out of this farce before he gains life, knocks you up with a life ruining disappointment, and vanishes from your life" she droned as she lights a cigarette, taking a deep inhale, smoke shooting out from her neck.

You swallow hard.

"I would prefer if you didnt smoke in my house, ma'am"

Juno stares at you for a moment, then shakes her head as she puts out her cigarette on your coffee table.

"Ma'am I really do trust beetlejuice, and I love him, this isnt a farce-" you began, but your words were ignored

"If you want to throw yourself into a mess, I wont stop you, I'm not here to save you, but I have to applaud his efforts on tricking someone LEGAL this time for his little game. Even though this mess of yours is going to keep him out of my way for awhile, it doesn't cover the fact that Lawrence's efforts have caused my office nothing but work. And even if this "love" was real the boy ruins everything thing he touches, cant do anything right, having him around only causes headaches, you'll see soon enough y/n," Juno's hurtful words drone on, as if her son wasnt sitting across the table from her.

"Back to the matter, even if you do choose to marry this fool, I wanted to warn you about the mess your getting yourself into, giving him life would only cause you grief, and I dont want to hear it when you get to the netherworld after a suicide his actions caused"

You grit your teeth at that last remark, you knew juno thought poorly of beetlejuice, but did she honestly thing her son was so awful that youd kill yourself over his actions, you felt like you were going to be sick.

"Lawrence, why is your hair purple?"

You glance over to beetlejuice, who infact was completely purple, the deepest purple you've ever seen him wear.

Beetlejuice bites down on his lip, his hands clenched in fists as they sat on his thighs, he was frozen.

"Bee?" You gently whisper as you slowly place a hand on his, the ghoul flinches at your touch, beetlejuice slowly takes your hand in his and gives it a light squeeze.

"Come on Ma, y/n my be dramatic, and get mad at me from time to time, but they'd never kill themselves over anything dumb I'd do, and hell we already talked it over, we dont want kids" the ghoul leans into you for support.

Juno scowls "to remind you both, I'm not here to stop you two, the only thing I'm here for is to warn this foolish breather, and double check to make sure YOU arent mucking about and blackmailing the living again, there is a lot of paper work involved in this little game of yours, and you still havent delt with the paper work of your failed marriage and death by the hands of that poor child you tricked" her eyes narrow down to beetlejuice, juno pauses, then sighs

"Lawrence just come clean, this little game of yours has gone on long enough, even if you didnt blackmail this poor soul into marrying you, do you honestly think they love you? You dont actually think this breather wants you around do you?"

"That's not true, I do-"

You werent able to finish that sentence, with a snap of juno's fingers your mouth is now cover with a strip of duct tape.

"You've honestly fooled yourself into thinking you could be loved didnt you? Pitiful, maybe this breather found you amusing now, but you dont think it's going to last do you?" Her questioning goes on, she was convinced her son was unlovable, you tug away at the duct tape but it refuses to budge, beetlejuice was too focused on his mother's words, to the point where he was starting to believe her, the purple slowly faded from him in favour of white, a color you've never seen on him.

"Lawrence you're little game is over, and you're going to clean up the mess you made, I have a decade's worth of paper work for you to fill out over this farce and every other little issue you caused, I knew from the start this was fake, no living person in their right mind would let you into their life willingly"

A decade's worth of paper work?! Was that so important that she was willing to manipulate her own son into thinking he was worthless?

"Lawrence you are such a screw up, the amount of work your little games keep giving me is coming to an end, you will never be alive, you will never be loved, let alone tolerated, and you are coming back to my office to straighten up ever little issue you have caused, if you think being invisible for a millennia is bad-" she raises her voice with each hateful word.

This duct tape wasnt going to budge, so you went with plan B, you roughly bump into the demon's side to get his attention, beetlejuice looking your way, your eyes grow wide at his expression, he was crying, black gooey tears. The two of you stare at each other what felt like an eternity, Juno's voice no longer reached him, beetlejuice snaps his fingers and the duct tape vanishes from your mouth.

You jump up from you position on the couch "I'm sorry ma'am  but bee- Lawrence isnt worthless, and yes, he can be an ass, and insensitive at times, but I love him and I really do want to marry him! And whatever stupid paper work that is tied up in this, can just fuck off..." your voice tweaks as the ghoulish women sitting across from you stands up, eyes dead set on you.

You werent great with confrontation, and beej knew this, but here you were talking back to his mother, you  his tiny sweet breather talking back to a literal monster. The white from Beetlejuice's hair quickly left in replacement to pink 'I really do want to marry him!' Those words from your lips could have made his heart start beating , tho that was shortly lived when he saw this mother stand, purple took hold of his form once again.

He couldnt let you fight his mistakes alone, though he found it hot that you could be his knight in shining armor.

No, beetlejuice is quick to jump up and link his arm with yours "see ma, this little breather stole my heart, and hell, we've been planning our little wedding for months" beetlejuice snaps his fingers and in a flash his and yours clothes change. Beetlejuice wore a red tux made with crushed velvet, with a lacy front, his whole outfit screamed tacky, but that was him. Looking down at your self, you stifle a laugh, here you were, 6:30am, dressed in a red puffy lacing monster of a dress, in all honesty this wouldnt be your first choice, but now was not that time. Beetlejuice pulls you close, you could swear he could hear how hard your heart was pounding, could you blame yourself? He looked so handsome all dressed up, even if this was fake.

"My, my Lawrence, doesnt that dress look familiar, isnt that the dress you forced that poor child to wear the last time you played this game?" his mother sneers

"Its called a call back, and y/n loves it" he sneers back you nodded in agreement, beetlejuice continues "we're still working on a venue, trying to find a band, believe me, planning a wedding is exhausting, and oh! dont be surprised if your invite gets lost in the mail ma" the demon gives a shit eating grin, you smile seeing beetlejuice has gained SOME confidence back.

"I have no interest in attending your little wedding Lawrence" she spat "it's clear you're not going to budge, and still refusing to take responsibility for your actions, you always were a slacker, and if that's the case, once you die again you will be returning to my office to deal with the mess you made" her focus turns to you "or I could end this little charade by killing your ticket to life"

Your heart stops at her words, she was a demon, Beetlejuice's grip tightens on you, the silence must have been hurting him as much as it did you.

"But I wont, itd be too much a hassle ending a life before it's time"

You sigh in relief, and beetlejuice loosens his grip.

"This will end poorly for the two of you, and I dont want to hear it" juno walks past the two of you, and with a gesture of her hand the livingroom wall opens up to reveal an office full of the dead.

"Lawrence before you join the living I need to deal with one last errand, so I will see you later, and you" Juno's boney finger points to you "you have no idea what you've signed up for" and with that she was gone, the wall closes up as if nothing happened, the two of you collapse on the floor

"Shes gone" you sigh, you've never been more scared in you entire life then you were talking to Juno

"So you like your future mother in law?" Beej jabs you side

"Oh yeah, a delight" you snort, "how long do you think we have before she notices we havent gotten married?" You tone shifts to a more serious note

"No clue, guess you'll actually need to marry me now" he pulls you into a side hug

"What?" You stammer, beetlejuice laughs at your response

"HA! Just pulling your chain there doll, theres no way in hell she's coming back to check, if I know that Bitch shes going to file away those papers for me, there's no way she'll let them just sit there for who knows how long, and this time next week she'll be harping about something else" beetlejuice stands up and pulls you up with him as he sees you struggling to move in that dress, as you raise to your feet you mumble a thanks.

"You know beej, you really do clean up good, I mean, you look very handsome all dressed up" you smile, now that that two of you were safe, you felt it was the right time to say it.

The purple in the ghoul's hair quickly vanishes at your kind words and is replaced with pink.

"Well you know doll, the tux suits me, but it looks even better on the floor, you'll see on our honeymoon~"

"Is that so?"

"Dont believe me? I'll show ya right now baby~" the ghoul pulls you close pressing his chest against yours, as fun as this little exchange was it came to a halt when you yawned.

"What a way to start a weekend, early and terrified, I think I'm gonna get a few more hours of sleep" you grumbled rubbing your eye "you mind helping me out of this dress?" Beetlejuice goes wide eyed at your question, in a flash his hands were groping for the zipper on your back.

"Naughty minx" he purrs before you swat his hands away

"I ment with magic" you breath out, you may be tired, but your genitals were now wide awake.

Beetlejuice grumbles as he snaps his fingers bringing you back into your pajamas and him in his suit.

"Thank you, I guess this wouldnt be good night, see you in a bit" you shrug as you head to your bedroom to get a few more hours of sleep, you glance back at beetlejuice, who was purple once again, you frown

"Beej do you want to sleep with me? I mean you dont need to sleep, I just thought maybe, you wouldnt want to be alone right now?" After seeing his mother maybe he could use some comfort.

There was a long silence as the demon only stares back at you, you panic

"I'm sorry, that was stupid, I'll just, uh, see you in-" you babble as you spin in your heels eager to get away from this embarrassing situation. Before you could hide away in your bedroom you feel the dicey grip if the demon's hand on your shoulder, and in a deep gravely voice he purrs

"Isn't it normal for a husband and wife to sleep together?~" 

you honestly felt a shiver run up your spine.

The ghoul, now only in a pair of boxers has now cuddled up to you  his legs intertwined with yours, his arms wrapped around your waist, hand rubbing up and down your back, and head nuzzled into your chest, the demon now pink, purred feeling your hands scratching his scalp, his mother was wrong, you did love him, truly and unconditionally, maybe not now, but soon, he will marry you.

Bonus

It's been days since you met his mother, and it seems like beetlejuice has been back to stop caring about it, but sometimes you see him just staring off into space.

The ghoul had only one thing on his mind, replaying the memory over and over, of you shouting "I REALLY DO WANT TO MARRY HIM!"

[midnightmoonkiss]

I know I make pirate Deku out to be this salacious, cruel, horny bastard.. and he is- but.. he has this sweet side to him, you know?

One he’s learned to hide.

You dont survive in his world by being ‘sweet.’

He shows it through merciful acts, sure, but only you really get to see his soft side.

He keeps it closed off for a while, acting like any other sex-craved, lonely sea man. At first, to him, you were just another dame he could graciously use to potentially get his dick wet - you never did allow it, not at first.

Your rejection somehow leads to a small friendship, the wall around his heart weakening with every innocent interaction.

Once you finally crack it?

My god, you swore you were never letting go.

He saves his softest voice, gentlest touches, sweetest kisses and purest love just for you. Only you.

Pirates are known for being unnloyal bastards, but thats never been in his nature. He’d rather take a sword to his stomach than to cause you any sort of emotional pain by batting his eyes at another.

He loves you. He’s devoted to you.

Youve somehow gotten him, one of the most infamous pirate next to Black Beard, wrapped around your finger.

If you told him to walk the plank, hell he’d do it. (Of course you’d never tell him that, but he would do it if asked!!)

This is Deku, after all. It doesnt matter what position he has, he’d drop it all for you.

But.. he’s quite possessive of you. In his mind, he has to be - considering the people he lives with.

He wouldnt ever let them lay a finger on you, but thats not to say you cant be friends with them.

Pirates are just.. yknow.. untrustworthy.

He doesn’t even know how he got you to trust him..

You could easily relax him with a kiss, though. Or multiple kisses. He loves your kisses.

Out in front of others, he’s mean and rough, calculative and a drunkard, but behind closed doors? He’s the sweetest man you’ve ever met.

He’d always listen to you talk, giving you his undivided attention whenever and wherever. He loved to hear your voice.

He was a gentleman to you, helping you jump off the ship or hold open a door for you, getting you food or a drink if you couldn’t get it yourself due to activities the night before.

He’d pay such close attention to you that if something was even slightly wrong, he’d pull you to the side, squat down, caress your cheeks with his hands that nearly covered your whole face, and ask what was wrong with such concern in his voice and in his eyes that it’d always make you feel so loved. Izuku cares so much for you.

He’s an insomniac, too.. its often he’d stay up and mumble to himself while scanning maps, plotting courses, and scribbling in one of his many journals.

When he lays in bed with you, he pulls you flushed against his bare, warm chest, chin resting upon the top of your head.

Sometimes he’d hum to help you sleep, his voice gravely yet sweet like honey whenever he used it for such a purpose. He’d kiss your forehead once he noticed you were asleep, whispering that he loves you against your skin. Sometimes he’d just admire you until he finally managed drift off.

He likes to feel you close to him.. needs to.

In a world where he has to constantly fight to stay alive and live how he wants, you’re his look into a tame life without actually living one. You’re his anchor in open sea.

Just what he needs, you’re the perfect balancing piece.

Never has a man been so in love with someone like Izuku is in love with you.

And he lets you know it every day.. whispers of love and the sweetest kisses..

He’s a completely different person around you...

He likes the person you help him to be.

And if you ever happen to get caught up in a bit of trouble? He’s right by your side and defending you and your honor with his life.

You’ve seen him win multiple sword fights for you, they were all so easily won.

He always got so worked up.. how could you not reward him after?

He’s so sweet, truly, your cute little freckled man.. but as you know.. sweet men aren’t always so sweet when they have you beneath them.

[matchamabs]

I know you didn’t ask for it but- BOTW MONSTERS: RANKED BY HOW HOT THEY ARE,,,,

i do fuck all in the days lemme tell ya

ill admit i havent done EVERY enemy but like. i do enjoy making these posts so who knows, i might actually rank everything sooner or later 🤷‍♀️

,,,,, and if u want a specific ranking of botw/aoc stuff lmk 👀

ahh the ol reliable. the classic bokoblin. he is just a little lad! unfortunately they’re genuinely kind of ugly??? and the idk the singular horn in the middle aint a good look. i see cute comics abt these guys being domestic and thats adorable but also giving them so much leeway bc they’re really Not that cute. not sure what the loincloth is hiding and im not sure i wanna know anyway. 3/10 really kind of. not good. 

slightly bigger loincloth only means slightly bigger things to hide :( i rlly hate these guys noses and whatever the fuck toenails they have why do they have toenails?????? s’bad. the thing is tho they have the proportions of a potentially attractive gerudo which is probably what takes the edge off the general vibes of... u know... being an abomination. its also only JUST occured to me as im writing that these guys r just evolved bokoblins so. glow up i guess. 6/10 what that tongue do

ok bypassing whatever the fuck rule 34 has done to these guys, i actually dig them. i find the huge fat ones way cuter than the lil bug eyed ones. in their case theres rlly no, like... hotness about them. its just cute. i think they’re cute. any monster that is cute and also doubles up as a bed gets my vote 7/10 get urself a fella as flexible as these guys 

u know what, im gonna say it, these guys r actually kinda hot. proportions arent super bad, the face aint bad and generally they have good vibes. aside from, u know, when they’re tryna shank u. id say one of the most bearable monsters to have to look at. 8/10 im not a scalie

??????????? idk what to say. u could tie these little shits to like swingball poles and beat them with rackets thatd b good. aside from that these guys have like no redeeming qualities. they’re a pain in the ass and not in a good way. 3/10 cute but like. is it worth it?

i mean,,,,,,,, someones probably into it. i dont like these guys for a lot of reason and surprisingly the thing that gets me is the fucking hair why does it have that hair its like he-man just went straight over the top with an electric razor its not a good look!!! stop trying to make it work! it wont! and again with the loincloth??? im not into it. the only thing i like abt these guys is the lil waistcoats. they have some amount of decency (but the implications it makes are Not Good). uh. 2/10. barely.

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

,,,,,9/10. but if you see a lynel up close like that chances are you died about half a minute ago

again. ??? i dont rlly like. i mean. im digging the top heavy proportions? its got the same body type as kass so like. 4/10. bit plain around the features but what can u do. i dont understand how but the igneo taluses are like. sexier 

UGHGHHH I FUCKING HATE THESE THINGS okay okay okay like these motherfuckers lure u in by being quite cute and dancin around and then u get a look at their faces and its like fucking JESUS and its even WORSE when you see under their cloak and they have no necks????? and like????? they do that gay little fucking dance that pisses me off???? they’re wearing hoods that give the ILLUSION that they have necks and im im fumin ok i HATE it i hate it i have been betrayed and i will NEVER FORGET ABOUT IT UGHGHGHG I HATE THESE CUNTS -10000000000000000000000000000000000/10 die

hhhhh i just dont like em. theyre too annoying to be cute now. and whats gonna happen if i squeeze one? is like. water gonna come out? r they just gonna deflate? 4/10 tentacles are not hyrules forte it seems ://

trust kohga to send the twinks out on the front line. seriously. they’re not bad tho? kinda small and underwhelming :((( tho i give extra points for the good crazy laugh we love a good manic cackle 6/10 they dont really count as monsters but ah well where else am i gonna put em

now THATS what im talkin about babeyyyyy we love the muscles,,,,, the posture,,, the stride,,, we love it when u fuck up stealth and a torrential downpour of these motherfuckers come down to beat ur ass,,,,, 9/10 its raining men 😎

u know. u dont rlly like. get a good view of these guys when ur balls deep in a battle with them, but the more i get like closer looks at them the more i go ???? like idk. everything about them looks backwards and wrong. but as far as backwards and wrong goes its not a bad look and the boss theme is a banger so 4/10 maybe dont jump on my ass every time i step one foot onto the desert :/

i just. i dont dig it. idk why. aside from the fact they’re a monumental pain in my ass, and now everytime i hear a beep even slightly resembling a guardian i shit my pants, but. idk??? as far as robots go its not like. terrible. they’re like the milfs of robots. the milves, if u will. a rilf. except i wouldnt. so its more like riwlf. but even that leaves too much up to interpretation so im just gonna call em a cunt and go. 4/10 leg game strong

here we are,,, the big boys,,,, waterblight isnt too bad i will admit, but the spear hand is both annoying and mildly inconvenient. its got a rlly big chest but rlly thin arms?? also not sure how i feel abt the strap on beard but oh well its not like ganons got taste. 5/10 kind of average for a blight i think

a hefty motherfucker. a chunk of a lad. big large. the fact this is like one of the easiest blights makes it more forgiveable to me but like whatever its got going on with the 80s hair needs 2 be sorted out. i like its moves but it doesnt hang upside down like waterblight :((( 5/10 calm down kate bush

ok who doesnt like gun arms. and a gun back. this things like fuckin megatron. the whole face plate thing doesnt look bad either. honestly its kind of a look? but its dickheadery in aoc makes me wanna set shit on fire so :// 6/10 hot but will not leave u alone 😔

ok this one is by FAR the sexiest of all the blights. i just cant explain it. i like guys with bad posture. i had an easy time beating it but apparently its given other people a lot of grief and that makes it 10x more sexy to me lmaooo. also it can clone itself which is like. thats a win. 8/10 ganon spilt all the sexy juice into this one

ok i didnt realise how many arms this motherfucker has and the whole hairline behind the ears thing is not a great look. especially w the beard. in fact the longer i look at it the less sexy it becomes tbh. 3/10 they tried to make arachnophobia sexy and it didnt work

10/10 i will be taking questions in my inbox but i wont be taking constructive criticism and you cant make me