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turkfra · 1 year

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Fic Characterization Post

Howdy y'all! So this is a post describing the traits of the main characters in my different AUs. This includes body/appearance, age, identity, family, and past relationships. I just wanted to clarify these things so my characters can come alive on the page for my readers!

Note: contains brief mentions of abuse, eating disorders, substances, religion and death. François can be called Francis if you prefer anglicized spelling! His middle name is Pierre. My middle name for Arthur is Gordon bc Gordon's gin and it just seems to fit him? idk sorry I know it's a dork ass name

Dancing With A Stranger

Arthur Kirkland:

30 years old. Paralegal recently turned lawyer.

Heteroflexible/Bi cis man, mostly attracted to femininity. Has only been with Amelia before François.

Cat dad to Petunia, a white British longhair. Has twin sons, Al and Matt, 5 yrs old, with Amelia. Came to America from London England for school. Met Amelia in law school, he ideally wanted to get married, she did not, they have been broken up for 2 years. He is the second youngest of 5 brothers and his parents had him quite late in life. His family is fairly upper middle class though not wealthy. He and his folks are on good terms and communicate occasionally. Went to religious school as a lad, now indifferent to religion, sometimes gives François a hard time but is coming around to his faith.

Medium-short true blonde hair, a bit shaggy. A handsome face, though not particularly striking. Gentle eyes and a charming smile. Freckles along his nose. He is 5'9 and average weight, used to be lanky. Is still thin, but leaning towards burly as he ages. Stronger than he looks, but doesn't look weak! Broad shoulders and and chest, a very square frame. Hank Hill Ass Syndrome, like all of my Arthurs. A decent amount of dark blonde hair on most parts of his body. Not a twink not a werewolf but closer to a werewolf! He doesn't really care for maintaining his appearance. Has zero fashion sense, typically wears a sweater (vest) with shirt, tie and khakis, or sometimes a suit for work. Grandpacore icon.

Pretty averse to substances with the exception of a bit of scotch or beer, hates the smell of cigarettes, but smokes 1 (one) of François' when he's stressed.

François Bonnefoy:

29. Writes columns and op-eds for newspapers.

Pansexual but heavily androsexual, genderfluid/bigender, confident in his body and likes to switch things up with his expression.

Practicing Catholic despite a penchant for sinning. Roommates and besties with Anneliese since childhood. Has lived in America for 5 years. Extremely flirtatious and romantic. The only child of doting, supportive parents who live nearby, and had him fairly young. Pierre, a chef, and Paulette, an artist. Happy, although humble childhood in Paris France, very positive relationship with his folks. Various mostly short lived past relationships, including an arrangement with Lovino.

Although I always write François as fairly feminine, this is my most masculine characterization of him. This is also ironic bc Arthur mistook him for a woman at first. He will certainly wear dresses and makeup, though enjoys showing off his hairy chest in button downs with fancy ties and trousers as well. Mostly lazes about in yoga pants and pajamas tho. Shoulder length golden blonde hair, can and does grow a beautiful beard. Sparkling blue eyes that crinkle when he smiles. Sometimes wears glasses due to terrible night vision! A good dusting of dark blonde hair on most parts of his body, will very occasionally shave to pull off an outfit better, but prefers not to. He is also 5'9, lithe and well built (toned, not muscular) slender, though far from underweight. Has long legs and defined shoulders but is very narrow compared to Arthur. Gorgeous forearms when he rolls up his sleeves. Wears lots of cologne or perfume. Sometimes goes all out in an evening gown and thick makeup. Soft skin, tans well in summer. Nice round hips and big, firm ass.

Not quite an alcoholic but loves wine, liquor and cigarettes and the occasional pot brownie. Has a Xanax prescription.

Boys Don't Cry

Arthur Kirkland:

27, bartender/manager.

Bi cis man. Toxic masculinity for days.

Has 6 year old twins Al and Matt, with Amelia who has passed away. They were together for about 7 years or so, meeting when Arthur arrived in America from London and seriously dating/engaged until her untimely death. Best friends with Gilbert for 8 years, and has worked at his bar for just as long. Popular in his recovery community. His family has not been discussed, he comes from a rather rough part of London, probably grew up in poverty and got into trouble a lot as a youngin. Let's say he has 4 brothers (UK bros) and a late father, and a mother who is worried sick about him but has given up. He probably isn't a huge fan of religion, but is respectful nonetheless.

TALL. Taller than canon. 5'11 - 6'. Fit and muscular everywhere and covered in old school/sailor tattoos on chest, arms, hands, etc. Has some hair on his chest/elsewhere on body + hairy legs. Super hairy pits. Choppy blonde hair, pale enough to occasionally dye fun colors like pink and green. Multiple piercings in ears, lips, eyebrows, and nose. Has Crazy Eyes™ but kind of a smug baby face thing going on. His teeth are in terrible shape and he washes with drain cleaner, probably. Mostly wears some combo of jeans and band t-shirts with Doc Martens and different leather jackets, plus leather cuff bracelets sometimes. The kind of guy to hold onto threadbare socks and underwear with holes in them. Likes to paint nails black.

Recovering addict, smokes cigs like a chimney. Sober from hard drugs and alcohol since Amelia's death.

François Bonnefoy:

30, first grade teacher.

Androsexual, mostly femme bigender/genderfluid. Doesn't mind she/her or he/him pronouns, will often refer to him/herself as a woman.

Also very Catholic. Was in a serious relationship with Antonio for many years in his 20s, has now been single for a year after being abandoned. Work friends with Feliciano. His familial relationships are very strained but he still has some contact. Abusive alcoholic father, Jean-Claude, enabler mother, Mathilde. An older brother Philippe and older sister Marianne. They are middle class and live in Paris.

The most feminine of my characterizations. Like I said, mostly lives as a woman but uses either pronoun, and wears a beard on his chin. Big blue doe eyes, long eyelashes and perfect plump lips. Long wavy blonde hair, sometimes wears it up. Has moderate body hair, it doesn't bother him but he will shave on occasion depending how he feels. Needs his drugstore-fancy products to survive. Very petite (5'3 to 5'4) and fairly slim with a curvy hourglass/pear shape, so wide hips and ample bottom, short legs. Delicate but not ultraskinny. Soft and plump in the right places, with velvety skin. He is romantic, but more reserved now after the breakup, and acts/dresses pretty modestly. Likes to wear skirts and dresses, though this is controversial at work and he often gets harassed for it by his boss or coworkers who know he is AMAB.

Enjoys a moderate amount of wine. His dad is a severe alcoholic so he's careful with it. Smokes cigarettes despite worsening his asthma.

Sugar, We're Going Down

Arthur Kirkland:

54 years old, CEO of conglomerate corporation

Heteroflexible cis male I guess? Bicurious, more attracted to femininity.

Father to Al and Matt, 22, and married to Amelia for 24 years. In an unhappy marriage for at least a few years now. Not much is said of his extended family, assuming his parents or at least his father have passed away. Most personally successful of the UK bros and came from old money, generational wealth. Kiku is his assistant, and Ludwig is his driver. Practices Capitalism and worships money.

A striking, serious face, wicked eyes. Will often wear reading glasses. Messy, graying blonde hair, sometimes he'll slick it back. Very average frame, 5'9 or 5'10, strong and somewhat thin but closer to broad than lanky. Freckles on shoulders. He takes meticulous care of himself since being with François, and likes expensive designer products, clothes and watches. Not excessively hairy, has moderate amounts of body hair especially in his middle age, will usually shave his chest for a more professional appearance. Has beefy, hairy Daddy forearms. Wears suits pretty much every day.

Drinks Scotch religiously. Likes cigars, will have a cigarette once in a while, or a cheeky line of coke when partying with his Sugar Baby.

François Bonnefoy:

24, Barista turned Sugar Baby and dog/cat Mama

Androsexual flirt, genderfluid bigender femboy who certainly doesn't mind being referred to femininely

Best friends with Alfred and Matthew, his Sugar Daddy's sons. Met them in college. Friends with their boyfriends, Ivan and Carlos as well. Used to be friends with Gilbert and Antonio, but they didn't approve of him dating an older married man. Not much is said of his family, but his parents live in Paris. They're fairly supportive of his choices and he's gone to see them since being with Arthur. Maybe younger siblings? Probably raised Catholic, but certainly not acting Godly.

Also pretty small, maybe 5'5 or 5'6? Slim bordering on underweight bc he doesn't eat much. Curvy bone structure and tiny waist, somewhat defined chest and shoulders but no muscle. Nice juicy booty and hips. Shoulder length wavy, naturally golden blonde hair, sometimes gets it lightened to platinum or curls it. Currently growing it out longer. Usually keeps some body hair incl his armpits and little chin beard; like other characterizations, will sometimes shave if he needs or wants to. Has a baby face and flawless skin, flashes his puppy dog eyes or bats eyelashes to get what he wants. A very bold dresser, always wearing designer. A fancy lil boy in fitted designer tops, slacks, and loafers, or a dolled up lil girl in tight dressers, Louboutins, and lots of jewelry. Owns probably millions in makeup and skincare.

Pills and wine for dinner ass bitch. Drinks too much and also smokes cigs, loves to get stoned with his friends, snorts coke, over-dependent on prescription sedatives and would probably do anything someone handed to him.

American Boy

Alfred F. Jones:

23, Junior Investment Banking Associate

Pan/bisexual cis metrosexual Zoomer boy

Has a twin brother, Matthew, who is his best bro and text each other 'ily' every day. Friends with Matt's fiance, Carlos, though they sometimes compete for his attention. Probably popular with the ladies in school, but no past relationships (he's a virgin) maaaybe had a fling with Ivan but it didn't go anywhere? His mom, Amelia, died in childbirth. His father, Arthur, raised him and Matt alone and lives fairly close by. Their relationship isn't necessarily bad, they just don't talk much. Middle class upbringing, now has a well paying job. Identifies with Christianity although not super religious, probably some flavor of protestant. He's 1/8th Native American (Wampanoag) on his mom's side.

Golden retriever puppy dog himbo football player all American boy. 6 feet tall, 200 lbs of muscle, biceps and ABS and a firm juicy little man butt. Tans easily and clean shaven above the belt. Twinkling blue eyes, a perfect set of teeth and kissable lips. Sandy blonde hair with a very slight strawberry tint. Takes fairly good care of his hygiene for a guy in his early 20s. Likes mid-luxury brand names like Calvin Klein and Tommy Hilfiger. Usually wearing a bit too much cologne and thinks he's the shit. At work, ties and crisp shirts, at home, sweats and graphic t-shirts.

Hates cigarettes but loves vaping his Juul. Will sometimes have a joint with Carlos and Matt, who are stoners. Likes energy drinks, but François is getting him hooked on lattés.

François Bonnefoy:

38, Former housewife, painter.

Androsexual but appreciates the feminine, non-binary/genderfluid/bigender but isn't a huge fan of labels! Any pronouns, he/him default but she/her is fine too.

Newly divorced from Jean-Jacques, who is 17 years his senior. They were married almost 16 years. Stepmother to Michelle, mid 20s, who is estranged. Not much is said about his family, but he grew up fairly humble in Paris and has roots in the countryside as well. Catholic, but removed from his faith since his ex-husband disagreed with it. Is now rediscovering it. I see him having a large family, but being kind of removed from them since he was married to an obscenely wealthy man for so long.

I haven't decided on a set height for François in this, he is fairly petite especially compared to Alfred. I want to say maybe 5'6? Since the divorce, he's been depressed and not eating, so he's rather skinny and lanky. He has a defined waist and nice curves, wide hips and a shapely bum even though he's lost so much weight. Gentle, tired eyes. Long blonde hair that he often wears up especially if he's painting. Grows a chin beard definitely, sometimes a light beard on his jaw too. Some body hair. Smooth soft skin, especially for his age. Has a brilliant fashion sense, loves designer clothing but isn't too flashy about it. Will often laze about in lingerie or robes. His ex-husband's initials, JJB, are tattooed on/above his left buttock, and he has a cross tattoo on his thigh.

Dislikes drugs and drug culture. Drinks plenty of wine and chainsmokes cigarettes, also needs his coffee and chocolate to function.

#my writing #please don't crucify me for my opinions #these aren't general headcanons they're just specific to my different works!!#ukfr #fruk #usfr #frus #hetalia #francis bonnefoy #aph france #françois #france hetalia #arthur kirkland #fanfic #fanfiction #aph england #alfred f. jones #aph america

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fowlblue · 1 year

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excessively detailed headcanons for Jon!! 9 (makeup), 19 (what do they think about before falling asleep), 43 (how far did they get in formal education)?

Yesss okay-

9. (makeup)

To make a long story short, Jon has a… complicated relationship with the concept of the ‘traditionally masculine’, and such complications left him inclined to avoid things typically seen as feminine (such a makeup) as a result- not out of dislike, truly, but when one is already grappling with the idea of being ‘man’ enough, something like makeup becomes less appealing, at least in Jon’s case. Excessive amounts of jewelry was about as far as he was willing to go.

Over time, however, he’s come to terms with that (at least externally) and coupled with a genuine love for ‘flash’, he can be found on occasion trying his best to get gold eyeliner on evenly, or something of that nature. Nothing complicated (art was never his strong suit), but as someone with a high appreciation for matters of appearance, he enjoys it on the rare occasion he considers a gathering worth dressing up for beyond business clothes alone.

(Arno helps him put it on sometimes but don’t tell anyone!)

19. (what do they think about before going to sleep?)

Hmm… the obvious answer is business, financial matters involving Fission Chips most likely, figures and the like, but I also imagine that before bed he has a ritual of sitting on his bed with a cigarette (lit, before he worked to quit- after, merely holding it in his fingers/mouth), pondering the little events of the day he gets too wrapped up in work to think about. Who fetched his coffee (decaf), what the gossip was that he overheard in the halls (he’s always listening), what rumors have been spread about who’s coming after him next. Thinks that would otherwise clutter up in the back of his brain- he does that until he thinks himself asleep.

(Sometimes, he gets the blessing of quieter things to think about. The new food joint on the opposite street corner he wants to try sometime, what the younger members of his estranged family are up to- he hopes they get a better start to life than he did, even if he can’t find the effort to know much about them-, what day next week he’ll supposedly take off and go out for a change. He never does, but he likes thinking about it, and for him that’s enough).

43. (how far did they go in formal education)

So, Jon grew up in a small-town suburb in the South, in a family that didn’t have much faith in higher education. From a young age, Jon was expected to make it through high school, find a nice wife and steady job and settle down. Maybe work on a trade of some kind instead, if he wanted variety. Jon always had an ambition to go father than that, he hated the idea of ‘settling’ for anything, especially in his hometown.

Jon was a surprisingly good student, supposedly wild at parties but always keeping his grades up, and with lots of looking and applying for scholarships, he got into a university near Chicago in the hopes of obtaining a Business degree. Unfortunately, both personal strain on family ties and his relatives’ insistence that he was trying to be ‘better than his name’ led to him having no support in that regard- Jon spent his high school graduation alone and resentful, and left for college the next day, the first in his family to do so.

While there, much like in high school, he did fairly well! Business came naturally to him, and while writing-intensive courses bored him, he was good with numbers and even better at making connections, even if he focused so hard at times on his schoolwork in the name of ‘success’ that he never made any close ones. He graduated with a Master of Business Administration, and then began pursuing internships and opportunities in the various fields of business that interested him: shipping, stocks, and eventually that which he’d come to be known for- communications!

#here we go! sorry if these are a little long- I rambled a bit!#ask #asks #tw smoking #jon spiro #headcanons #disclaimer: I’m not in school for business so if an MBA is not what one would typically get in that field forgive me

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gay-jesus-probably · 2 years

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unpopular opinion: a lot of the LGBT encanto headcanons are bad actually (an accidental essay)

I've decided that actually y'know what I WILL talk about my thoughts on Camilo Madrigal, specifically the Encanto fandom's incredibly bad takes on him. I am so fucking sick of having to see people cheerfully talking about how 'well this shapeshifter turns into men AND women sooo obviously they must be genderfluid, and definitely can't use just the one set of gender pronouns they have in canon'.

I don't know how to explain this to you, but insisting that a character is genderfluid specifically because that character can become biologically male or female at will? Not the progressive statement you think it is. Actually taking us back a few steps there.

You know what's a lot more interesting? Camilo being a cis guy who has no problem shapeshifting into women, because gender is a lie and biology only means what we want it to. The world isn't divided into 'trans people' and 'people who are physically unable to examine their gender identity'. Why the fuck isn't anyone writing about Camilo as a boy that's been able to shapeshift since he was five, and has the perspective to see that his physical form changes nothing about his identity, and he is a boy because that's how we feels, not because he's AMAB? Am I the only enby person that actually WANTS cis people to examine their gender identity and decide that biological sex isn't very important and their assigned gender being correct was just a happy coincidence?

And again, cannot stress this enough, while I understand why the idea of being able to shapeshift away from your dysphoria is appealing, and you want to project that fantasy onto a shapeshifting character, declaring a character genderfluid because they are capable of shapeshifting into men and women has some incredibly fucked up implications, and you should probably put some more thought into that.

Look, if it was just Camilo, I'd give the fandom the benefit of the doubt, but I fucking see how Mirabel and Luisa are the only other characters getting trans/enby headcanons. Especially looking at you, people who saw a character that's very tall and muscular with a deep voice and decided she must be a trans woman, all of you are fucking banned from making gender headcanons until you get your heads out of your asses. And I've definitely noticed the suspicious absence of nonbinary Isabela headcanons, that's not a great look for y'all. The 'Mirabel is enby' team doesn't seem to have quite as much blatant transphobia behind it, but also I do kind of get the vibes that y'all latched on to her specifically because she doesn't qualify as beautiful by eurocentric standards, and I'm not super comfortable with how that ties into the idea that brown/black women don't get recognized as women unless they can perform femininity at a standard that white people deem acceptable, but that's. Not really something I'm qualified to talk about.

And of course all of this ends up coming back to the main problem, which is that this shit is being done by white people whose understanding of intersectionality is shaky at best. So I'm honestly not sure how much of the white Encanto fandom understands that the characters being latine means they will have a different relationship to their gender/sexuality, so things that are progressive in white characters might carry unfortunate implications in brown characters.

Being queer isn't just a white thing of course, and having queer headcanons for non-white characters is great. But a different culture is going to have a different queer culture as well. People aren't getting mad about LGBT Encanto headcanons to be homophobic, they're getting mad about it because white people aren't writing queer latine characters, they're writing characters who read as queer white Americans that happen to live in Colombia. The writers are projecting their own experiences and culture on to the characters, and completely ignore all but the superficial details of their actual racial identities. So yeah. That's why latine people keep yelling at you to stop headcanoning Encanto characters as queer and/or neurodivergent. It's not because they're homophobic/ableist. It's because you don't know what you're doing, and keep whitewashing the characters so you can project onto them.

Fuck, I've seen a genuinely disturbing amount of white fans who assumed a detail in the movie was about them, got informed it was actually a Colombian/latine culture thing, and decided to argue with them and appropriate it anyways. For example, the part in What Else Can I Do where the plant pollen Isabela's throwing around forms a Colombian flag on her dress, which white people have been outright arguing was actually just a messy take on the lesbian flag. The people arguing that like Isabela and can relate her to her exploring who she is and celebrating her sense of identity. It's just that those people can't relate to connecting to their race and culture and finding a defiant joy in celebrating that aspect of their identity. But instead of realizing and accepting that that specific detail isn't meant for them, they're just... twisting the moment to try and make it belong to them anyways. Because acknowledging that the experience of being a white lesbian and the experience of being a brown woman share some similarities, but are ultimately completely different? That's not super fun, and makes it hard to project onto Isabela. But ignoring and twisting the nuance to interpret the character as an extension of yourself, oh, that's both fun and easy, no uncomfortable feelings required! Or how white fans hold up Bruno's habits of knocking on wood, throwing salt over his shoulder, and holding his breath as evidence of him having OCD. But those aren't abnormal behaviours; they're common, socially accepted actions for bringing good luck in Latine culture. The only significance they have for Bruno's character is highlighting that he's very superstitious. He also has a habit of crossing his fingers and avoids stepping on cracks, but those are never brought up as proof of him being neurodivergent, because those aren't considered strange to the people making the headcanons, so they don't register; that just looks like a normal, harmless bit of superstition that just brings a little peace of mind. And again, these headcanons are from white people with OCD who saw a character performing strange rituals to ward off bad luck, and saw themselves in him. But they're missing the wider context, which is that Bruno's actions aren't personal, compulsive rituals that look strange and unnecessary to the people around him, he's just making casual gestures that other character see as being on the same level as crossing your fingers for good luck. They see a character doing things they consider weird, and feel a connection to him, without realizing that they're just projecting their own values onto a different culture.

Honestly, this sort of thing is an especially serious problem for white American fans; they're used to a very self absorbed culture that places America as the default option, the center of the world, so trying to understand another culture just... doesn't come naturally to them. Meanwhile literally everybody else has experience having to put up with stuff that assumes they're American, and therefor gets frequent reminders that other places exist and have different cultures. Like, if I'm writing a fanfic set in another country, I'll do a little bit of research about what their normal is, and I'll try to make sure that stuff I consider standard doesn't slip in unless it's a thing there too. Meanwhile I've seen Americans write fics where prom night is an important high school experience in South Korea, fics where a badly injured Canadian is terrified of the medical bills pilling up while he's in the hospital, fics where going from Denmark to Sweden involved passports and border checkpoints, fics where gun ownership was treated as normal for average civilians in Japan, and fics where Russians living in the city while also owning a second house for vacations in the country was only for crazy rich upper class people. There's just this sort of built in idea that Americans have where the every modern civilization must be just the USA with some cosmetic differences.

I mean, cultural blindness/appropriation is global problem, anywhere you go you'll find people who think their idea of normal is the universal standard. But it's especially common in Americans, and they're the most resistant to accepting that they can connect to the similarities they find in stories from/about other cultures while still acknowledging and respecting the differences.

#encanto #camilo madrigal #isabela madrigal #bruno madrigal #this. this got away from me.#started as me being mad at transphobic takes #ended with me being mad at racism and ethnocentricism #maybe should've made two posts for this #eh whatever its all the same train of thought #this just in im still adhd

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vampscience · 2 years

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some post-canon roxy analysis regarding gender and stuff!

ik a lot of people hc roxy as transfeminine so i want to state ahead of time that i will be using he/him pronouns for roxy in this post and that i don't mean that as an attack on u guys, but i haven't seen much exploration of the themes present with transmasculine roxy and i like him a lot so i wanted to try and do so myself. i will also be discussing transfeminine interpretations that i've seen bc i think roxy can be read either way and i want to look at that as well. i will also state that i am EXTREMELY new to this fandom and i realize that i am quite possibly just re-hashing old points, i just felt like saying some shit bc i feel like transmasc roxy is underappreciated.

roxy is introduced to us in the original comic as someone who is very tied with biology. the ending of his name (xy) is described as chromosomal and we're shown that he likes to clone cats. he's very closely tied to the act of creation and as his beta-self is known to us as mom, he is by extent associated with motherhood. this association is strengthened by his preoccupation with rose's existence and continues throughout the series with ectobiology and the creation of the matriorb.

he is also somewhat stereotypically feminine with his pink text and his outfits and his relatively boy-crazy attitude (which we know was more out of loneliness than anything). he is constantly drawing attention to his own femininity by describing himself as a hacker femme fatale. this combined with the previous point about motherhood, especially in the sense that he always seems to pursue it through unconventional means, is what to my understanding initially caused people to headcanon him as a trans woman. and i like that hc a lot, especially within the context of the original comic. i think it's a great reading of the character and without considering the epilogues/homestuck^2 it actually makes more sense than roxy being being transmasc.

however, in post-canon we do see roxy as transmasculine, and i think with a slightly altered reading of the same content, this is still a quality interpretation of the same character. sex has to do with biology and gender is entirely to do with social expectations as it is a social construction. this is sort of basic, gender 101 type information, but transmedicalism would have you believe that these two things are inextricably tied together and that if you are going to transition to any extent in one sense, you must support that by transitioning in the other. roxy's specific relationship to transness sharply highlights the divide between these concepts.

roxy's highlighting of his own femininity is exclusively in joking context which, with the perspective of roxy being transmasc, can be taken as masking a discomfort with that femininity. while he is otherwise somewhat lacking in obvious indicators of transmasculinity, roxy's aspect is void; he is unknowable, nebulous--we aren't supposed to know everything about him and none of his friends know everything about him either, so much so that it has somewhat become a plot point that dirk does not know how to write the story around him. sometimes trans people are people you don't expect, and those people are just as valid as those who have known and expressed gender accordingly for much of their lives.

in one timeline, he has a son and has yet to transition, but he reflects that what made him decide not to at the time was that the experience of motherhood made him feel like his body was not gendered; it was simply performing a biological function. he does, however, imply that transitioning is not off the table for him in the future. in this way, just like in the original comic, roxy's pursuit of motherhood has been unconventional; he has been a mother, but he may eventually be a father. it's not about the social role for him; it's about the act of creation. his issue isn't necessarily with the body he was born with; in fact, he's awed by its capabilities. but this doesn't make him any less trans than someone whose body causes them to experience dysphoria. what he seems uncomfortable with is the social construction of femininity; he plays with it in some ways by keeping his name, his pink text, and his black lipstick, as well as his choice of heart sunglasses, but he comes at it from the stance that he doesn't have to be feminine. he can engage in gender in whatever way he chooses. in this new world that the kids created, he is working to deconstruct gender as it has been constructed.

anyways, i love roxy, i love that he's trans, and i love that he says fuck transmeds

#homestuck #homestuck^2 #homestuck epilogues #roxy lalonde #homestuck meta #homestuck analysis #transmeds dni #jochlo.txt #sorry if this is completely fucking stupid and incomprehensible lmao

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aetherarf · 3 years

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Queer (Specifically Gender with a LITTLE BIT of Sexuality) Headcanons for Pride Month!

(Please note that Arf is queer but you are not entitled to knowing my identity, and while these are my personal headcanons I will not enforce them into my writings unless requested. I will answer genuine questions but I will not tolerate any form of intolerance.)

Under cut for length.

ALBEDO: If truly pressed for their identity, they would say "Non-Binary", not really considering themselves a man or a woman. But, in the end, it's not too important so they don't fuss if you call them a he or a she.

BENNETT: He/They. His dad's don't really get it but his friends do so that's okay :). Some of his dad's are doing better than others.

CHILDE: While comfortable with being a cis-male, he sometimes toys with the idea of being he/they, simply because "There's something that feels nice about it." They have no reasoning beyond that. Also Pan-He is equally attracted to all genders.

CHONGYUN: Non-Binary, but born as a female. He prefers presenting a little bit more masculinely, but he has no strong ties to either being a man or a woman. His presenting closer to a man than woman has everything to do with trying to find peace with himself and his pure-yang spirit, and admits to a higher level of dysphoria than most would expect.

DILUC: Epitome of 'Agender'. He cannot be bothered to care. You can call Diluc a he, she, they, a woman, man, person. And Diluc does not care. They would wear a dress without caring. Most refer to him as a man solely because he is male, but he has no commitment to masculinity and no aversion to femininity. He is also Aromantic and Asexual, meaning he is never attracted to anyone, sexually or romantically. He CAN still romantically love, And he CAN enjoy sex, he is just very slow to love, and it might be somewhat odd in how he shows it, but when he does love it's A Lot.

FISCHL: She/They. Her words, "I simply cannot be bound solely to the confines of the femininity imposed upon me by my form..." Oz's Words, "She's a woman but a little to the left."

JEAN: She's a Trans Woman--And she began presenting early into puberty, and did more about it as she got older. There was a little bit of gossip before she had become the Acting Grand Master but as soon as she did, everyone realized how wonderful she was and any doubt was erased.

KAEYA: Trans Man who prefers He/They. Jean, Diluc and Albedo are the three people who know outside of those he purchases binders and whatnot from. He grew up with Diluc, Jean learned during their years as Knights, and he is Albedo's test subject when it comes to tampering with hormones. So far they've done well with helping him look more masculine.

RAZOR: what is a gender. they do not know. they do not care. they are wolf, is that gender? Bennett said no.

ROSARIA: Trans Woman. She knew early on but only transitioned late into her teens. She's extremely protective of any younger kids who may face hardships due to their gender, and around them is one of the only times you will see her softer side.

SCARAMOUCHE: Intersex Man. Specifically XXY. He hides it dramatically, and wears a sort of binder to avoid questions even if his chest isn't that big, he says the 'binder' (admittedly a generous term) feels more comfortable than going without it.

SUCROSE: Also a Trans Woman. She lost her friends about a year after coming out so it messed with her head a little, and she doesn't talk about it a lot... But she confides in Jean a lot. She was the one who found a way to slightly alter her and Jean's bodies to grow breasts and whatnot, however she is unable to figure out how to assist Trans Men. She's getting there, though.

VENTI: It pretty much changes 'with the wind'. Whatever they're in the mood for, but they also don't take it very seriously. They could change their pronouns 10 times in an hour, but they don't really expect anyone to keep up on it, they just do it for themself.

XIANGLING: Also a Trans Woman! She's early into transitioning and very appreciative of Chongyun and Xingqiu being there for her.

XIAO: Agender, but born to a feminine but intersex body. They prefer to distance themselves from masculinity and femininity, finding them uncomfortable to apply to themselves.

XINGQIU: He/They. Enough said.

XINYAN: She/They. Enough said.

ZHONGLI: A slow-to-change Genderfluid. He will change what he wishes to present as quite often, simply because he does what he feels like. For the past several years, he feels like a man. But, eventually he will decide to be both male and female at once, or maybe just female, or perhaps neither. He is content with being a man for now. They/them is a safe bet no matter what, though.

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dabi-drift · 3 years

Text

Yaoyorozu, Hawks, Bakugou, Amajiki, Dabi, Mirko & Geten with a Genderfluid S/O:

If you want any characters adding here or to anything else I write, just drop me a comment or an ask!

Momo Yaoyorozu:

☿ It was hard enough for you to acknowledge your own gender- fully understanding it was a different topic - so coming out to Momo was going to be tough.

☿ Really tough.

☿ She was a lovely girl and a wonderful girlfriend.

☿ But could you really expect her to be supportive of something so complex?

☿ Your gender fluctuated a lot - sometimes you'd feel distinctly outside the binary, and sometimes you'd feel more masculine, or more feminine.

☿ You hadn't noticed this until recently; you rarely gave gender a second thought.

☿ Looking at yourself in the mirror and questioning everything that felt a little off, you'd figured that maybe you just wanted to feel special, a little different.

☿ So you researched. A lot.

☿ You had a system that no-one understood because you were still deep in the closet: a different coloured strand/extension in your hair (on one side only) that stood out but was never questioned.

☿ Red = Feminine, Purple = Non-Binary, Blue = Masculine, Green = Third Gender/Multigender.

☿ Coming out was a decision you spent countless nights debating.

☿ No-one 'deserved' to know, it was really nobody's business…but being gendered correctly 100% of the time did sound nice.

☿ Deep breaths, and positive thoughts.

☿ "I identify as…no, I am genderfluid. You, eh…you should probably know that."

☿ This sweet, precious thing was confused at first.

☿ But you explained it:

☿ "Sometimes I'll feel more masculine, more like a boy, sometimes feminine, neither or both/all genders? I'm still wrapping my head around it too, but eh…it can change a lot. Sometimes a few times a day. Um…sometimes one gender will stick for a while. That's why figuring it out can be…confusing. But it's also enlightening, uh…kinda nice, warm, y'know?"

☿ Instantly says she understands and supports you.

☿ Expect a flurry of hugs and kisses.

☿ Acts like a very proud girlfriend.

☿ Pays extra attention to your hair - never wants to get anything wrong.

☿ If she does, she'll apologise immediately and reprimand herself.

☿ Go easy on her, she'll be an utter mess.

☿ Overall, her love for you is unconditional, and she makes sure that you know she's sorry.

"You shouldn't ever have to be scared to explain who you are."

Keigo Takami/Hawks:

☿ Keigo knew something was amiss.

☿ You'd been dating for two years, and although he never pried, he couldn’t help noticing the way you'd suddenly become uncomfortable when someone addressed you, or when you stayed in one set of clothes for too long.

☿ It wasn’t always the same, and he just figured it was anxiety and general insecurities coming to the surface.

☿ So he held you closer, wrapped you in his wings and fussed over you for hours (or however long his job would allow).

☿ He didn’t have a lot of time to consult the internet.

☿ He also didn’t want to pressure you into revealing anything.

☿ But now, the topic was unavoidable.

☿ You'd broken down, crying and mumbling to yourself when you thought he couldn’t hear you.

☿ He finds you kneeling in front of the full-length mirror in the bedroom.

☿ Rushes to your side in an instant.

☿ "What did the mirror do to you, dove?"

☿ Very, very worried, feathers shaking around you.

☿ Defensive birb, ready to protect you from that loathsome mirror.

☿ "I-I look so…so girly today! It's awful! My chest, and…and…I don’t have a binder, and I…"

☿ Doesn't understand, but is determined not to worsen your mood.

☿ "Hey, look at me. What are binders, and where would we get one?"

☿ He places both hands on your cheeks, and you lean into him.

☿ "They're…they flatten your chest, um…sports bras and binders…I-I've never bought one, so I don’t know…"

☿ He nods. "Do you wanna come with me to look for one?"

☿ You're perplexed - shouldn’t he be weirded out by this?

☿ He laughs, and somehow, it warms your heart. "I just want you to be happy. I'd do anything to make that happen, angel. You might need to explain all this to me, though. I'm a newbie, after all."

☿ He takes physical notes - nothing will catch this man out.

☿ If someone misgenders you, he'll correct them immediately.

☿ If someone acts ignorant or spiteful, he'll 'politely' tell them how to adjust their attitude, and how to address people outside the gender binary.

☿ I.e, respect them even if you don't have a complete grasp on their identity, and never, ever misgender or marginalise them.

"You are yourself, not how others perceive you."

Katsuki Bakugou:

☿ You decided to use pronoun badges. There were some awesome-looking designs out there, and you'd been feeling a little more confident lately. It couldn’t hurt to clue your classmates in, right? Plus, you supposed Katsuki ought to know…he was your boyfriend, after all. He'd definitely be pissed if he discovered this a few years down the line, rage about you not placing enough trust in him, and it'd be a huge mess…

☿ You'd never interrogated him on LGBTQ+ issues, so you weren't sure how he'd take your news; he wasn’t always the most accepting (Midoriya & the quirkless community being obvious testaments to that).

☿ Needless to say, instead of being confused, he was frustrated. Why was he with someone who didn’t even know their correct pronouns? He pointed it out, very matter-of-fact.

☿ When your dazzling smile suddenly dropped, he became concerned. Was he the idiot after all? Why did he upset you? What in the Nine Circles of Hell possessed him to do that?? He didn’t even say anything bad! All he mentioned was…

☿ Oh. Shit.

☿ This boy isn't accustomed to apologising, so don’t expect it to flow naturally. He’ll try, because he loves you, but he won't keep eye contact for very long and he'll recant every few seconds.

☿ This perceived insincerity only masks his guilt, though. He’ll beat himself up for years, unless you stop him. This boy has no chill. He's always the first to go off on people when they disrespect or degrade you, so he's gotta make amends in some way, right?

☿️ Honestly, if there are any pronoun badges with really cool or pretty designs, he'll buy them for you. He'll also get for himself, to prove his acceptance and solidarity. He won't ever allow you to feel alone again. He's more than okay with your identity - it changes absolutely nothing about you. If anything, it gives you a sense of completion. He's here for that, 100%.

☿️ You better believe he'll fight for your rights.

☿️ If there's any hate/intolerance directed at you, he'll explode. Quite literally.

☿️ You'll be tasked with ensuring no-one dies. Unless you want them to, of course.

☿️ They'll deserve it.

☿️ Katsuki is very perceptive, so when he gets to grips with it, he'll most likely notice every indication (however subtle) of a gender change. He'll carry spare pronoun badges around, just in case you lose yours.

☿️ Secretly, he's swimming in pride.

☿️ He's kinda like 'Yeah, that's my awesome partner! Look how cool they are, flaunting their pronouns like that, all confident and happy!'

☿️ This boy adores the ever-loving shit out of you. He hates reflecting on the day you came out, because he handled it so poorly at first. Thankfully now though, you're more secure.

"Gender doesn't matter. I'm gonna be a hero, not a hater."

Tamaki Amajiki:

☿️ (Y/n) wasn’t a dead name, but sometimes the very mention of it made your skin crawl.

☿️ It was a gift from your parents, so you wanted to keep it.

☿️ But it was a very gendered name - you couldn’t escape that.

☿️ So you decided on a few more - ones both your mind and heart adored.

☿️ The names corresponded to different gender identities, and although you weren't out just yet (though you planned to be shortly), they gave you the fluffiest feeling.

☿️ Because you hadn't come out, you didn’t bother making it easy for people - no different coloured bracelets, rings or anything to highlight your gender at the time.

☿️ In your heart, you knew who you were.

☿️ Still…everything seemed tied to the binary - official documents, school, the chatter of other students…you'd seen and heard it all.

☿️ These people didn’t accept non-conformists.

☿️ So why should Tamaki?

☿️ Sure, he was kind-hearted, heroic…amazing, but what would he do? What would he say, when you finally came out? You couldn’t remain in the closet forever.

☿️ No way that was happening! You were human too, your feelings mattered! Surely you were allowed to voice your truth…

☿️ Tamaki loved you.

☿️ He'd be accepting…right? Memorising some more names and pronouns shouldn’t be so tricky.

☿️ To minimise discomfort for both of you, you chose to explain things in his room.

☿️ He got really nervous at first - he thought you wanted to break up.

☿️ Boy was sweating profusely, coming up with all sorts of counter-arguments in his head. He really, really loved you.

☿️ "(Y-Y/n)-"

☿️ "Um, could you maybe call me (O/n) today? It's an…off-spectrum day."

☿️ Cue more confusion than Momo.

☿️ He'll ask about it in a really gentle voice - being anxious himself, he can easily pick up on other people's signs.

☿️ "Basically…my gender's fluid, so…you know how 'sex' is biological and 'gender' is a sense of identity? Well, sometimes I align with my birth sex, sometimes I don't. Today is…one of those days."

☿️ He'll hold your hand while he listens, squeezing it periodically to reassure you.

☿️ Now it's your turn to question the strength of your relationship.

☿️ This boy's love is deep, though; he cares way too much to let anything come between you.

☿️ Plus, nothing about you has actually changed.

☿️ You've just come into yourself, gained more comfort in who you are.

☿️ Tells you how proud he is.

☿️ Asks you to let him know when you sense your gender change, so he never calls you by the wrong name or pronouns.

☿️ It's They/Them today, but who knows about tomorrow? Or even an hour from now?

☿️ Finds gender-neutral compliments and nicknames, and does a ton of research.

☿️ Has an entire script in his head - if you want to come out but can't speak for yourself, Tamaki will push aside his anxiety and recite the words he's practiced a million times.

"You've finally found yourself - only change if it feels right."

Touya Todoroki/Dabi:

☿️ Your identity was really important and dear to your heart.

☿️ But that didn’t stop those you cared for tearing you apart whenever you tried to speak up.

☿️ Your family, your friends…you loved them, but they just couldn’t accept you.

☿️ So you killed them.

☿️ You went on the run, evading police and heroes alike for years.

☿️ And then, you found the League of Villains - a strange dynamic, kind of like family but much more welcoming.

☿️ Yet, your identity stayed hidden. You didn’t have the strength to harm all these people, if they rejected you.

☿️ Besides, there was more solidarity here than there ever had been with your blood relatives.

☿️ Dabi was your companion, though whether that meant closest friend or love interest, you didn’t know.

☿️ He was observant, transforming his thoughts into words regardless of how that affected people.

☿️ He pointed things out immediately.

☿️ "New bracelet?"

☿️ You paused, half-shocked, half-afraid.

☿️ You knew that he'd see through any lie you posed.

☿️ The truth would be the only thing to save you from his flames.

☿️ "That means something, doesn't it, (Y/n)?"

☿️ Step 1: put the drink down so you don't shatter it in anger.

☿️ "Yeah, um…this colour means 'masculine'. I'm a guy…now."

☿️ His face betrayed nothing.

☿️ "Like a reverse Magne?"

☿️ You wondered if that was a genuine question or an attempt at humour.

☿️ Todorokis don't understand jokes.

☿️ "No…she's a transgender woman, I'm genderfluid. I'm not confined to a single gender. It, uh…it changes."

☿️ His nod didn’t instil you with confidence.

☿️ "You out to the others yet?"

☿️ "Didn't think they'd accept me."

☿️ He made a 'Really? You're the least weird of the bunch' face.

☿️ "Ah, I'll just burn 'em if they don't."

☿️ You were too stunned to employ a comeback.

☿️ He contemplated for a while.

☿️ "So, you got any other names?"

☿️ Helps you plan how to come out to the rest of the League.

☿️ Will legitimately burn the haters.

"Found families are more accepting than the real thing."

Rumi Usagiyama/Mirko:

☿️ You bought three mugs - 'It's a Girl', 'It's a Boy' and 'It's a Mess'.

☿️ The excitement had been bubbling away inside you for weeks.

☿️ Rumi still didn’t know that you were genderfluid, but she was about to learn.

☿️ There wasn’t a doubt in your mind that she'd accept you.

☿️ You hadn't told her yet because it was a big thing - lots to take in, and you needed to be completely sure of it, and of your relationship.

☿️ You weren't gonna tell just anyone.

☿️ Dating Rumi was awesome, and this was just the next stage.

☿️ It didn’t go according to plan.

☿️ Not at first.

☿️ "You're pregnant?!" Was her very concerned response.

☿️ She kept muttering about how she needed some space to think things over.

☿️ Until you dragged her back, exasperated but determined to explain yourself.

☿️ "It's in reference to myself. I wanted to let you know, in a funny way, that I'm genderfluid. There's a Girl and a Boy one, and the other is for Non-Binary."

☿️ She made a noise like she understood, but you saw the confusion.

☿️ "Today's an Enby day, but you might have a girlfriend tomorrow. Or a boyfriend. Who knows?"

☿️ In an instant, the biggest smile took control of her face, and she brought you into a crushing hug.

☿️ "So I could have a girlfriend, a boyfriend and a murder partner??"

☿️ "Eh…if you can do the jail-time, count me in."

☿️ This one won't necessarily search for information herself, but she will consult you whenever she's having a difficult time processing something.

☿️ You're like,, the expert in all things LGBTQ+, and she loves listening to you talk so passionately.

☿️ She's really glad you told her - that you trusted her with something so important.

☿️ She feels loved, and makes sure you do too.

☿️ Asks if you ever thought she'd reject you.

☿️ "Nah. We'll go strong forever, Rumi."

☿️ She's overjoyed, honestly.

"You're so brave for coming out, and if someone doesn’t like it, I'll kick their butt."

Geten/Iceman:

☿️ Geten didn’t have the faintest clue about gender identities. He accepted male and female, but without a proper education or motivation to learn anything beside his quirk, you didn’t expect him to understand. You would've held it in, if you were strong enough to deal with the constant misgendering.

☿️ If you use Neopronouns, you're especially worried. They aren't as widely welcomed as the general She/He/They. And Geten being the angry, feral gremlin he is, his temper was a major concern.

☿️ You couldn’t change for him, so if he decided to lash out or disapprove, you'd be crushed. You'd obviously have to walk out of the relationship, if he didn’t do so himself. As deeply as your love ran, you simply couldn’t put yourself through such anguish. You weren't of the soundest mind, so to be rejected by Geten…

☿️ He isn't gonna understand unless you sit him down, crack open the slideshow presentation and maybe start crying? He'll feel guilty, but he doesn't ever wanna see you in distress. He said as much, in the beginning of your relationship.

☿️ So cry. Cry your little heart out, and he'll do everything within his power to comfort you. He's not the most receptive to other people's emotions, but with you, it's different. He's always by your side, always watching over you. His hugs are a little stiff, but wrap your arms around him tightly, and he'll protect you with his life.

☿️ "So…genderfluid?"

☿️ His tone is gentle, like he's afraid to cause any more tears.

☿️ "Yeah, um…you identify with your birth sex, right? Well, I don't…not all the time. And if you could…could use those pronouns? That would mean…a lot. To me. It'd mean everything, actually…"

☿️ He's quiet for a while, still trying to make space in his brain for all this new information. It isn't something he needs to 'come around to', though. He'll be completely painful and respectful. He's bound to slip up a few times, but he'll always correct himself.

☿️ Hates seeing you cringe whenever he makes a mistake. Always vows never to let it happen again.

☿️ You're okay though - you know it's gonna take time.

☿️ Angry boi never uses your gender identity as an insult, and openly condemns (threatens) anyone who does. He'll want to prove himself - prove he's gonna love you regardless of gender, regardless of everything!

☿️ Honestly doesn't know why you were so nervous to explain this. When he said his love was unconditional, he wasn’t lying.

“There’s no way I couldn’t accept who you are.”

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bao3bei4 · 3 years

Text

girlbosses, male wives, and other lesbian genders

a post about jing wei qing shang. but also mostly about another unrelated movie. spoiler-free.

for a lot of people, mulan 1998 is their definitive “ohhh i’m a chinese woman dressing as a man for contrived reasons and i get absolutely nooo erotic pleasure from this” movie.

however, because i am very special and unique, for me it’s the love eterne 1963. it’s the shaw brothers adaptation of butterfly lovers, the classic chinese folktale. here’s how i’d summarize the movie:

zhu yingtai, an aspiring scholar, convinces her parents to let her dress as a man to attend school. on the way there, she meets liang shanbo, another prospective student, and they become sworn brothers. they study together for three years, growing closer, until zhu yingtai returns home. liang shangbo accompanies her for the eighteen-li journey home while she hints she’s a woman, but he remains oblivious. by the time he learns her gender, her parents have engaged her to another man. he dies of grief, and while she mourns at his grave, it splits open, and she buries herself inside with him. two scraps of her torn outfit turn into butterflies and fly away.

it’s worth noting here that like. this movie is made in the huangmei opera style. so both zhu yingtai and liang shanbo are played by women (betty loh ti and ivy ling po respectively). because of this, basically every level of the film is preoccupied with gender: if we take zhu yingtai’s male performance as credible (as the characters in the movie do) the leads bond through male homoeroticism; the text is ultimately about a heterosexual romance; it is acted out by two women, in a performance that is difficult to mistake as heterosexual or even feminine; and the dialogue of the movie can’t help but remark on this.

basically it asks: what if lesbians could be gay both ways? wouldn’t that be based?

like opera was traditionally made by single gender casts, so roles tended to be genderless, in that the gender of the actor doesn’t determine the gender of the role they play. roles are instead typed into four categories: dan (fem), sheng (masc), chou (clown), and jing (painted face). it’s a sick gender quadinary. each of these roles has further subtypes that are represented through stylized patterns of singing, makeup, costuming, movement etc.

so in butterfly lovers, betty loh ti plays a dan, and ivy ling po plays a sheng. but because of the textual cross-gender play, you end up with a woman playing a woman playing a man who falls in love with a woman playing a man.

i’m going to make a brief digression here into talking about like.. acting theory. in the european tradition, you see it evolving out of early concerns (from stanislavski, brecht) about the fourth wall, and its permeability or lack thereof. in chinese opera tradition, the fourth wall didn’t ever really exist. and mei lanfang, the legendary fanchuan performer, claimed that his success wasn’t just due to his appearance, but rather, his mastery of some nonliteral feminine subjectivity.

If I kept my male feelings, even just a trace, it will betray my true self; then how can I compete for the audience’s affection for feminine beauty and guile?

i’m not going to argue that there’s like, an essence to being a woman because i’m not a fucking idiot. but there’s something to be said for the idea that the gendered interplay between the audience’s perception of the actor, the actor’s perception of themself, and the character they play is a massive part of the appeal of fanchuan performance.

this is echoed by david hwang’s m. butterfly, in which gallimard memorably says, “i’m a man who loved a woman created by a man. everything else—simply falls short.” btw sorry for having the type of brain disease where i constantly reference chinese crossdressing related media. you already know why i have it.

anyway. parallel to that (but far less morally detestably), jin jiang argues “young male impersonators in yue opera embody women’s ideal men—elegant, graceful, capable, caring, gentle, and loyal.” so, trivially, 1) the eroticism embodied by fanchuan performers is distinctly different from their “straight” counterparts, and perhaps less trivially 2) it’s way better.

back to the love eterne for a bit. one of the many reasons it’s lodged itself into my psyche is because there’s something more interesting at play than just all that. normally in opera, to compensate for any perceived residual femininity in the sheng, the dan camps it up even further. so this is how zhu yingtai first appears, this bratty femme pastiche of womanhood. yet within a couple minutes she’s dressed as a man, which she’ll stay as for the bulk of the movie. they do however make compromises with the makeup--more gently lifted eyebrows than the steep angles of the sheng opera beat, and an improbably masculine smoky eye.

that’s right. they performed girlbossification on her.

i don’t want to suggest that she’s straightforwardly feminine. i could write an entire other thing on her relationship to masculinity. instead i want to highlight the erotic interplay not just between the “girl” and the “boss” but also between her and her counterpart: the male wife.

liang shanbo is ostensibly straightforwardly male, but his relationship with zhu yingtai isn’t gay in the ahaha what if i was into my bro way-- it’s a what if i was into my bro and i was his wife way.

that’s right. they performed force fem on a cis woman-man. like when zhu yingtai tells him he can’t watch over her as she recovers from an illness because “boys and girls can’t sleep together,” liang shanbo asks “are you implying that I’m a girl?”

there’s a lot of shit like this that builds up over the course of the movie. it all culminates in that final 18 mile journey. along the way, zhu yingtai compares them to a pair of mandarin ducks, one male & one female. liang shanbo sputters “i am a man inside out-- you shouldn’t--” before graciously conceding, “you may compare me to a woman.”

this is like. a simple punchline. but it’s incredible. it’s true! liang shanbo isn’t a man inside out in that he’s a man and only a man, but rather that he’s a man seen inside first, built for desiring, by a woman & for a woman. as a perpetual object, he becomes a more believable woman than zhu yingtai. and at least in his view, it seems more likely that he could be a woman than her. but beyond that, his permissive tone reads as a kind of wanting in itself--recast, if she wants, “for you, i’ll be a woman.”

obviously this is a classic lesbian mood. who among us has not seen “no gender only lesbian” posts. and speaking of classic lesbians, you might ask. did you just tiresomely reinvent butches and femmes but with a more annoying name? yes. no. okay. well.

first, like butch/femme dynamics have both historical specificity and a classed character such that it’s not rlly that appropriate to impose them on the love eterne. and i guess more importantly, i wanna talk about stuff that isn’t real.

we fight all day about people who confuse performance with performativity, (i use we lightly here. for instance, i go outside every day so i don’t care about discourse) but what if we actually wanted to talk about the former for once? something specifically, whether we choose or are forced into it, that we pretend to be?

anyway. what the hell does all that have to do with jing wei qing shang. i’m going to start by first making the argument that there’s no such thing as a naturally occurring girlboss. i think, honestly, she’s a product of capitalism (“boss” should be the tipoff here) but because both of these stories are set in ambiguously historical china, i’m going to say, instead that she’s a product of uhhh primitive accumulation.

semantics so that i can be canon compliant with marxism aside, if girlbosses are made not born, can you choose to be a girlboss? sheryl sandberg says yes. i don’t disagree, i guess, but i will say: stop glamorizing it! humans only become girlbosses when they’re greatly distressed.

you become a girlboss when you have no other choice not to be one. when your wants are too great to be a woman, when the things you want are not things that women should want-- whether that’s something that really no one should want, like being a ceo, or whether that’s just something like loving a woman (or, as it is quite often, both) -- you have to become something else.

another important part of being a girlboss is that other people are not. your excesses mean that not only do you lose something in the process, but your bosshood comes at the expense of others. the girlboss necessitates a girlworker, or so to speak.

now we’re getting to jwqs. i’m assuming that you haven’t read jwqs, because most people haven’t. that was me until like four days ago. in broad strokes, the novel is about a woman, qiyan agula, who was raised as a prince, and her quest for revenge against the kingdom who slaughtered her people. of course, this involves marrying one of the princesses of that kingdom. it’s all very exciting (lesbian).

what’s striking about jwqs is that both of them seem to fit the girlboss paradigm, in vaguely similar ways. qi yan (agula’s assumed name) seems to follow the lineage of zhu yingtai, who pretends to be a man to achieve her goals. she’s forced to give up much in the process, and also sacrifices a, uh, lot of innocent people. similarly, nangong jingnu, the princess, is inherently a girlboss because royalty sucks. but also, qi yan girlbossifies her over the course of their relationship.

but i wouldn’t say jwqs is girlboss4girlboss. there’s something a little more complicated happening. qi yan isn’t zhu yingtai in that she’s a dan pretending to be a sheng. it seems more like that she was a sheng all along. it’s something that the women of the novel return to often: qi yan seems to be better than a man.

for instance, nangong sunu, jingnu’s older sister, reflects on this.

Nangong Sunu had seen many foolishly loving women who sacrificed everything for the sake of their husbands, but there were rarely any men who would do the same for them.

(...)

Thinking it through, Nangong Sunu felt that Qi Yan was truly becoming more interesting. She intended to observe discreetly for a while, to verify if such a man truly existed in this world. (ch 221)

and i forgot to write down the citation for this, but nangong jingnu also seems to argue that not only is qi yan prettier than a man, but she also seems to be prettier than a woman. (it’s the bit where she’s watching qi yan sleep. help me out here.)

moreover, the way qi yan relates to nangong jingnu is suggestive. jingnu brings out the elements of wanting to be a woman in her. it’s jingnu’s body that makes her wonder what she would look like if she was more feminine. it’s jingnu’s happiness that she resents, wishing that her people could have that as well. it’s her desire for jingnu that makes her a woman.

(another important distinction i suppose--while one person can’t be both a butch and a femme, because the girlboss and the male wife are things we pretend to be until we embody them / them us -- there’s greater slippage between the two.)

anyway, the girlboss/male wife dynamic is reversed wrt who’s actually dressing as a different gender. that suggests an inversion in the implications we see from the love eterne, if we are to take the love eterne as the paradigmatic girlboss text. which i do, for no reason in particular.

so then, is qi yan pretending to be a man? under the opera framework, we’re forced to say no. she’s not pretending to be a man any more so than liang shanbo (as acted by ivy ling po) was. but that, of course, feels incorrect, just looking at the text. is she, then, pretending to be a sheng? i’d strongly say no. the things that others see in her, they authentically see; and she does authentically feel the same things as liang shanbo wrt femininity.

so it has to be the opera framework that jwqs is subverting then. if qi yan kept some trace of her once-womanhood, if qi yan reveals her true self, and yet she still can compete for the audience’s affection-- jwqs’s inversion of the opera framework seems to argue instead that it’s that true self that allows you to compete. it’s being masc that lets you be a desirable woman; it’s being feminine that lets you be a desirable man.

there’s an increased gender ambivalence to jwqs, which make sense, i guess, seeing as it’s not meant to be a het story the way that the love eterne was. for instance, nangong jingnu crossdresses to go out in public, and qi yan remarks that jingnu’s disguise fooled her on their first meeting. when qi yan and jingnu go out in public, both disguised as men, they’re repeatedly perceived as a gay male couple. there’s freedom in that: they could be gay women only privately, they could be straight officially, but they could be anonymously gay publicly.

so it’s through the gay male pretense that they can be gay women; it’s through the qi yan pretense that agula can love women; it’s the qi yan caring husband persona that coaxes jingnu in caring for qi yan in return-- jwqs, more precisely, argues that you can’t be a woman if you’re going to love them, and even less so if you’re going to be loved by one.

this is perhaps well-trodden ground for anyone who has read wittig & certainly many people who haven’t. but it’s the layer of pretense that for me complicates these two narratives.

i think it’s a relatable feeling: wanting something anticipating getting something, or wanting something for yourself anticipating knowing that you already had it. that is, desire in itself being constitutive of that reality.

or less abstractly, knowing that you’d want to be a lesbian if you could, knowing that you’d want not to be a woman if you could-- anticipating any realization of either.

the dramatic excesses & wants of the girlboss, i think, are a decent literary stand in for being a lesbian.

i wanna note here that this is rlly just based on my experience being a transmisogyny exempt nonbinary diaspora lesbian lol. it’s fun & cathartic to overread this history & place myself in the accidental implications.

i don’t think most of the things i say are literally true. and i don’t want to overstep & say any of this can be generalized. please lmk if something here doesn’t read right! ok kisses bye

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jewfrogs · 3 years

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What was the place of trans people in Ancient Greece? I don’t mean myths, but accounts of irl trans people. I once read something about priests of Aphrodite whose initiation ceremony was castration and wearing women’s clothing, which could be reinterpreted through a modern lens as Ancient Greece’s version of trans women, so to speak. Perhaps even non-binarism, though I don’t believe there was basis for escaping the gender binary and the very much enforced roles in the Greek patriarchy.

this is another great question! i’m going to broaden our scope a little bit to include some discussion of rome as well, because there’s a lot of useful stuff there and the two are interlinked.

discussing trans people in any historical context is difficult, because the framework through which we understand it doesn’t exist. that isn’t to say that people who didn’t conform to their assigned gender didn’t exist (gender variance has been documented for about as long as history), but that applying modern labels and understandings to them doesn’t always work, and there’s a lot of overlap between some categories (e.g. could we understand this individual as a trans woman or as an effeminate [gay] man? what does that mean when neither of those identities are contextual during the individual’s time?). all that to say: there isn’t a lot that directly corresponds to trans people from antiquity, but there’s certainly not nothing.

one reference to trans people in ancient greece comes from lucian’s dialogue of the courtesans (c. 120-190 CE), where the character megilla/us seems to be remarkably like a trans man: “I was born a woman like the rest of you, but I have the mind and the desires and everything else of a man.” this is an excellent post that discusses this passage in depth.

according to pliny the elder, there was a noted phenomenon of women turning into men: “The change of females into males is undoubtedly no fable. We find it stated in the Annals, that, in the consulship of P. Licinius Crassus and C. Cassius Longinus, a girl, who was living at Casinum with her parents, was changed into a boy; and that, by the command of the Aruspices, he was con- veyed away to a desert island. Licinius Mucianus informs us, that he once saw at Argos a person whose name was then Arescon, though he had been formerly called Arescusa: that this person had been married to a man, but that, shortly after, a beard and marks of virility made their appearance, upon which he took to himself a wife. He had also seen a boy at Smyrna, to whom the very same thing had happened. I myself saw in Africa one L. Cossicius, a citizen of Thysdris, who had been changed into a man the very day on which he was married to a husband.” (Plin. Nat. 7.4) it seems likely that this is discussing intersex people, since pliny references them immediately before, but it is interesting to see evidence for at least some form of transition and for the acceptance of said transition—arescon has a wife! that’s pretty neat! these people seem to be fairly well-accepted, which does make one think about how transition in general might have worked or been seen.

with regards to the priests, i haven’t read about anything like that with aphrodite (although i would be remiss not to mention aphroditos here, particularly her mention in macrobius’ saturnalia), but i’m guessing you’re thinking of the galli, priests of cybele (a phrygian goddess, often correlated with rhea and with the intersex deity agdistis) as well as her lover attis (who was castrated as well—catullus 63, which i am going to write something about one day, is a retelling of their myth). they were castrated and generally wore women’s clothing, and many sources refer to them with feminine language. firmicus maternus (c. 4th century AD) said of them negant se viros esse, et non sunt <mulieres>: mulieres se volunt credi (“they deny that they are men, and are not <women>: they want to be believed as women”). there are certainly parallels that can be drawn here!

in addition, there can be a lot of blurred overlap between gay readings and trans readings. in ancient greek & roman thought, the categories of men-who-are-penetrated and women-who-penetrate (or, well... hump, since one of the latin words for these women is tribades, or “rubbers”) are almost genders in their own right, or perhaps the intersection of two genders: men-who-are-penetrated are like women but not, and women-who-penetrate are like men but not. (it can definitely be interpreted, to some extent, that these people want to be read as the opposite binary gender to the one they were assigned—which raises the question of whether we simply don’t know some of these stories because people did pass and therefore it wasn’t outwardly transgressive.)

this is probably best encapsulated by an excerpt from the fables of phaedrus (a first-century CE roman author who is supposedly adapting aesop’s work), where the question tribadas et molles mares quae ratio procreasset (what reason brought [lesbians] and [effeminate men] into existence?) is asked, and this is the answer:

The same Prometheus, creator of the clay crowd (which is broken the moment it offends fortune), had made those parts of nature which decency hides with clothing apart from the rest for the whole day. Just before he could fix the parts to the right bodies, he was suddenly invited to dinner by Liber; when he had watered his veins well with nectar, he returned home late at night on faltering feet. Then, with a half-awake mind and a drunken mistake, he applied maidenhood to a type of man and affixed masculine members to the women; thus desire now enjoys perverse joy.

there are different ways this can be read, because “applicuit virginale generi masculo” and “masculina membra applicuit feminis” can both be taken as an aetiology for either tribades or molles mares. take one: the first line refers to molles mares, making them men in body with women’s spirits, and the second line refers to tribades, making them women in body with men’s spirits. take two: the first line refers to tribades, making them men in spirit with women’s bodies, and the second line refers to molles mares, making them women in spirit with men’s bodies. these are both really interesting readings that both resonate to some extent with transness and specifically with the space in between gayness and transness.

as an example, take the figure agathon (a fictionalized portrayal of a real playwright) from aristophanes’ thesmophorizusae. agathon is notably effeminate—he’s first introduced by a character saying εγώ γαρ ουχ όρω άνδρ’ ουδέν ενθάδ’ όντα, Κυρήνην δ’ όρω (“I see no man, but I see Cyrene”, in reference to, as one commentary puts it, “a dissolute woman of the day”). that is to say: agathon is read as a woman. when another character in the thesmo needs to dress up as a woman, he doesn’t borrow a woman’s clothes—he borrows agathon’s. could we read agathon as a trans figure? perhaps! but his effeminacy is tied to him being, as the greek puts it, ευρύπρωκτος—literally “wide-assed”, but often translated simply as a certain six-letter word that starts with f. agathon isn’t a woman, exactly, but he’s not quite a man either. i wouldn’t necessarily call this in-between space trans, but i don’t know if i could call it cis either.

tl;dr: there are few depictions of people we might call trans as we understand it today from ancient greece, but there are a lot of interesting questions we can ask and consider with regards to gender that touch on transness and antique experiences analogous to modern-day trans ones. also gayness and transness are very much intertwined.

#i didnt include any myths bc this is long enough already and u said not in myth BUT.#mythological depictions do also add another layer to this #bc there are stories like iphis or leucippus or tiresias or hermaphroditus that Smack of transness to varying degrees #ancient greece #classics #anonymous #ask

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foilfreak · 3 years

Text

Beauty and Her Beast: Chapter 7 (aka the ‘big boobie vampire mommy’ and ’mutant servant girl that is very horny for her’ chapter)

WARNING PLZ READ BEFORE CONTINUING: This fic is rated NSFW and contains graphic depictions of things some people may find disturbing or alarming, including, but not limited to: violence, gore, unhealthy family relationships, Oedipus complexes, gratuitous amount of pornographic literature, ableist language, physical, mental, and emotional abuse, etc. If you are someone who does not enjoy fiction with these elements in them, then I suggest you refrain from reading this, because this fic will have all that, and probably a lot more. So, this is your first and final warning to turn around and go somewhere else if stuff like this just isn't your vibe, because from this point forward, your emotional wellbeing is in your own hands, and I will not be accepting blame if you disregarded my warnings and ended up reading something you didn't like. Idk why I feel compelled to write one of these despite this being Resident Evil fanfic, but I figured I'd cover my ass just in case.

(AO3 link below:)

“Good evening, sir. Is there something I can assist you with, tonight? It’s quite late, and my mistress has already retired for the evening due to the strenuous nature of today’s events, so while I’m sure the good Lady Dimitrescu won’t be too terribly displeased if you’ve come with urgent news that requires her immediate attention, I’m afraid anything outside the realm of absolute importance will have to wait until morning, when my mistress will be better rested and therefore better able to address whatever concern you’ve brought” The low and smooth voice of an older teenage girl said, staring slightly downward at Salvatore with a level of such blank indifference that he would have wondered if the girl hadn’t seen him had she not outright greeted him upon opening the door.

With piercing red eyes, dark skin and long, black curls tied up neatly and carefully into two thick buns on either side of the top of her head, and dressed in a pretty, but still practical dress, the older teen looked every bit as much the role of a dignified estate’s head servant as she acted, right down to the pencil straight stiffness of her body. Despite how uncomfortable the stiff position looked to Salvatore, the subtly bold way she carried herself did give the older teen an air of confidence and reliability, however what it didn’t do was answer the multitude of questions flying around in Salvatore’s head about who she was, and more importantly, where she came from.

And then it hit him.

“Y-you’re… Alcina’s g-gift… aren’t y-you?” Salvatore asks aloud, though seemingly more to himself than the girl standing in front of him. Said girl furrows her brows in confusion for a moment before huffing in, what appeared to be, mild offense. Though what on earth Salvatore could have done to offend the young teen, he had absolutely no idea.

“I have no idea what you mean when talking about these so called “gifts”, however I think it's important for you to know that I am a very busy woman with a great many things to do, so if this is all some kind of sick game you’re playing to waste my time then I’m going to have to politely ask that you take your rotten whale behind and go throw yourself into the nearest body of-”

“Anastasia?” a low, feminine voice booms from somewhere behind the older teen standing before him. The girl immediately stiffens, her skin around her nose and cheeks darkening even further, her eyes growing wide and her breath catching in her throat as she turns around. Immediately abandoning Salvatore at the still open front door, the young servant clumsily made her way further into the room before disappearing out of the narrow view the hooded man had been given of the castle through the crack in the door.

Taking a step forward and opening the door enough to slip inside, making sure to close it securely behind him, Salvatore lingered along the walls of the room, merely observing the events before him unfold as the young girl, Anastasia, quickly moved to stand in the center of the circular design on the floor of the entrance hall. Waiting for her on the landing at the top of the stairs was none other than the lady of the house herself, Alcina Dimitrescu, standing as tall, proud, and intimidating as Salvatore last remembers, though it would appear that the disfigured man’s fear of the much larger woman was not shared amongst everyone in the room.

“Y-yes Lady Dimitrescu! Is there something I can do for you this evening, my Lady?” Anastasia asks, hands clasped together in front of her and eyes blown wide at the gargantuan woman leering from above, like a lovesick puppy dog waiting for a command from its beloved owner. Eager to perform. Eager to please.

“Why yes, my sweet, I was just wondering what on earth all that racket was and if it could wait until morning to be finished? The girls and I have had quite the taxing day and I do so wish to retire to the sound of peace and quiet” Alcina coos warmly, causing Salvatore to pause in confusion.

“Oh goodness, I apologize, mistress. It’s just that there was a visitor at the door and despite my repeated attempts to convince him to come back when you were rested, he insisted upon making a nuisance of himself. Please forgive me if my attempts to preserve your restful evening were for naught” the girl said sadly, bowing deeply in apology as she continued to speak.

Alcina practically purrs in delight at the teen’s polite, but genuine behavior. “Fear not, my dear, I had only just taken off my earrings when I heard the commotion. I came out here merely to see if things were getting out of control, but it would appear as though you’ve handled things perfectly.”

The girlish blush on Anastasia’s face only darkens in color as the young teen casts her adoring gaze to the floor, joyous glee from having been praised by her mistress evident all over the younger girl’s body.

Not wanting to stay here any longer than absolutely necessary, especially if this is what he’d have to witness the whole time, Salvatore gathers all of his strength and uses it to clear his throat and take a step forward, revealing himself to both women as he gingerly comes out into the light.

“YOU!” Anastasia yells, immediately turning on her heel and making a beeline toward the increasingly anxious Salvatore. “So not only have you made enough of a nuisance of yourself to disturb the lovely Lady Dimitrescu just as she’s about to retire and rest from a very long and taxing day, but now you’ve decided that you’re so above everyone else that you can just waltz right into someone else’s home without even the slightest hint of respect or admiration for the incredible woman living in it, how dare you be so crash and selfish you overcooked blowfish, exit this castle immediately, or I’ll shove my boot so far up your rear end you’ll be fishing around for it for weeks you-”

“Anastasia, calm yourself, dear” the loud, but calming sound of Alcina’s voice said, causing the young teen to pause in her angry scolding of Salvatore.

“My Lady?” The young teen asks, dutifully awaiting orders.

“Let the wretched man inside, he’s the furthest thing from a threat to us, even if he is an annoying little manthing. Although, I’d be lying if I said a visit from you at this hour of night is something I’ve come to expect of you, dearest elder brother.”

The disfigured man swallowed thickly as he stepped past Anastasia to fully face his other younger sister, who looked all the more intimidating from her looming perch upon the upper story.

“I-I know this is s-sudden…” Salvatore begins, hoping he’d at least be able to explain himself before Alcina tossed him back outside on his ass.

“I’ll certainly say” Anastasia bursts in angrily, but she’s quickly silenced and sent away to tend to her other duties by Alcina, who motions for Salvatore to ascend the large set of stairs leading up to the rest of the castle and join her on the landing for a moment.

“Spunky little thing, isn’t she?” Alcina says when Salvatore finally makes it to the top of the stairs, panting slightly as he follows the much taller mutant’s gaze to the door that Anastasia had just exited the room from.

“Th-that’s certainly… one way… o-of putting it” Salvatore stutters, not wanting to offend Alcina by calling her servant rude, but clearly not seeing what’s so great about someone who just yells at you a lot the second you walk through the door.

“Yes! She apparently received a strain of cadou that was quite similar to mine, however her need to consume blood to maintain herself is far more similar to that of leeches. Rather than having to consume it regularly in smaller doses, like myself, she’ll only require one feeding every few weeks or so, which I thought was quite interesting. The only issues Mother Miranda brought up was the fact that her hunger, if it gets bad enough, can trigger both her transformation, as well as some sort of feral and animalistic meltdown that only ends once she’s finally had her fill. Apparently more than a few villagers were lost in the process of learning this information” Alcina comments casually, tucking her hair behind her ear. “Mother only brought her over earlier today, just before dinner, and yet she’s already managed to carve quite the little space for herself here. I hadn’t realized how dirty this place was without any girls left to take from the village until she went through and washed all the walls in the west wing spotless. It was like night and day, I could hardly believe how open and bright the halls looked” Alcina stated.

“W-wow… so th-then… d-do you think y-you’ll keep her a-around… long term?” Salvatore asks curiously, craning his neck so he could get a better look at his sister’s face.

“Perhaps. I’m certainly thinking about it. Not only is she an incredibly hard and fast worker, but she’s also got such a lovely spark of energy and excitement to her, and she’s always very polite and respectful, if a bit obvious in her “admiration” of those she looks up to… not that that’s a bad thing, necessarily. It’s quite sweet, actually!”

“S-she did look… q-quite taken… by y-you” Salvatore comments, having noticed the girl’s far-too-eager-to-be-innocent disposition when Alcina was in the room, vs. when it was just him. Not that it was a terribly surprising turn of events. Alcina, for all her monstrous height and sheer mutant bulk, was still a very beautiful, and very desirable woman at the end of the day, meanwhile Salvatore was only about 2 rolls of the genetic dice away from sharing a more recent common ancestor with the blobfish than he did humans.

“I know, isn’t she adorable? She came exactly like this, too. Mother Miranda has no idea if this is a result of the mutation process or if it's merely her former personality finally returning now that she’s awake and out of containment, but I suppose the logistics of things aren’t really important in the end. I'm so glad I chose her over the other two, I don’t know what I would have done had such a promising and delectable little morsel like her go to waste on the rest of you imbeciles” Alcina coos in amusement. “Regardless of what Mother Miranda said however, I was almost certain this whole “gift” situation was going to be nothing more than a pile of useless drivel that I’d be left to clean up all on my own once the novelty wore off, however after having Anastasia here for these past few hours, and seeing all that she’s willing and capable of doing, I’m beginning to wonder if perhaps I’d been too hasty in my final decision.”

“Funny… K-Karl thought m-much the… th-the same thing i-initially… w-when I t-talked to him… th-the other day… th-though… knowing him… I doubt h-he’s having q-quite as much… of a ch-change of heart… as you a-are” Salvatore said suddenly, more than anything due to the incredible shock that was the concept of Alcina and Karl sharing a similar opinion, at the same time, while both occupying the same dimension of reality.

Alcina’s face immediately turns sour at the mention of Karl. “Oh, did he now? That’s an unfortunate thing to learn,” she says in annoyance, clearly displeased by the notion of agreeing with Karl on anything.

“Y-yes… he… he th-thinks that maybe… M-Mother might b-be using the g-gifts… to d-distract us w-while she’s g-gone away… o-on her mission… b-but that maybe… sh-she also wants… s-something else out of a-all this… something… th-that she isn’t t-telling us… f-for some reason” Salvatore explains, unsure if he should be revealing all this information to Alcina, notorious and open critic of Karl and quite literally everything the younger man has ever done and said, is doing and saying, and will do and say sometime in the span of his chaotic lifespan.

Contrary to what Salvatore assumed, however, instead of looking bored and uninterested in what Karl thought about this whole situation, Alcina looked just the slightest bit… intrigued, if still clearly wary. “Really? And what, pray tell, does our dear sweet little brother Heisenberg believe will come of this whole situation then? Did he say?”

“H-he… he never m-mentioned anything s-specific… but he th-thinks that the g-gifts… might p-play a l-larger role… in all th-this… than M-Mother has been l-leading us to believe.”

“I see,” Alcina says, remaining silent for a moment as she thinks, looking almost concerned by what she’s heard. “And what do you think of this whole mess, Salvatore?”

“U-um… well… I-I think it’s nice… th-that Mother trusts us e-enough… to g-give us her p-previous experiments… and u-use them however w-we want… b-but I’d be l-lying if I s-said… that I d-didn’t think Karl… was o-onto something… I-I don’t know w-what I believe to be t-true a-at the moment… but I d-do know… th-that I’d like t-to give… g-give a gift of m-my own… to Nadine… and that… and that y-you might be… s-someone else who c-could help me… w-with that” the hooded man explains nervously, hoping that Alcina was in a good enough mood to feel like humoring him and his sudden request.

“Nadine?” The tall, pale woman asks in confusion, before suddenly nodding in understanding. “Ah, your gift…”

Salvatore nods. “D-Donna… is f-fashioning a n-new dress… for her… a-and even gave me… this b-beautiful nightgown… to hold h-her over until… until the real one is c-complete. I th-think she w-will… e-enjoy the nightgown b-but… but I’d like to… l-like to get her something else t-too… like a… like a necklace… a-a gold one… o-one that w-would… c-complement her skin tone… j-just right.”

Alcina briefly stares at Salvatore with a blank expression, momentarily making the hooded man worry that he’d overstepped his boundaries and said something to offend the much larger woman. His nerves are thankfully calmed when Alcina turns and orders Salvatore to follow after her, which the disfigured man happily does if it means what he thinks it means.

The two siblings arrive at Alcina’s personal chambers just as Anastasia is exiting them, her arms filled by a large basket of blood soaked towels and clothes, some collected from Alcina’s room, the others likely from either Bela, Cassandra, or Daniela’s rooms.

“Good evening, Lady Dimitrescu! Are you finally retiring for the evening?” Anastasia asks, bowing cheerfully as she finally notices her mistress approaching her. “I’ve already gone ahead and prepared your bed for you, as well as collected all the soiled laundry from today’s harvest. Is there anything else I can do for you tonight?”

“Thank you, my dear, but not quite, I have one more matter to attend to before I fully turn in. Since you were so kind to offer however, I would greatly appreciate it if, once Lord Moreau and I are finished with our affairs, you would be so kind as to escort him to the front door and bid him a good night, for me. You are free to retire to your own chambers for the evening once he’s left” Alcina orders softly, which the young girl obediently nods her head to.

“Of course, mistress, thank you very much! And I’d be happy to see Lord Moreau out for you, so please don’t hesitate to call me once you’re finished with your meeting” Anastasia says, bowing lowly to both Alcina and Salvatore before wordlessly skittering off to do… whatever it was she planned on doing to those dirty garments.

“Now, about that gift you were talking about” Alcina says upon entering her personal bedroom, immediately striding over to her vanity and beginning to sift through several boxes worth of jewelry, “you said you wanted gold, correct? And a necklace specifically?”

“Y-yes! I-if you have anything y-you’re willing to… g-give away… of course… I’d feel t-terrible taking something i-if it meant a g-great deal to you” Salvatore answers, standing awkwardly in the doorway as he waits for Alcina to return to him with whatever she finds.

Of all 3 of his siblings, Alcina was the one Salvatore was easily the least close to, despite having been the only two around for a considerable amount of time before the eventual arrivals of both Donna and then Karl. It wasn’t that Salvatore was displeased when Mother Miranda first informed him that he’d be getting a “sibling” all those years ago, but Alcina’s natural personality, coupled with her terrifying size and strength from the mutations, had made the very meek and timid Salvatore hesitant to reach out and form any kind of sibling bond with the younger woman, like he had with Karl.

Karl was a royal pain in the ass to deal with on even his best days, but at the end of it all, there’s still only so much a 6 year old can do to you, anger issues and mutant metal bending powers or not. Alcina was both a royal pain in the ass to deal with more often than not, but also a fully grown adult when she first joined the family, so needless to say the 2 oldest siblings hadn’t been given very many appropriately opportune moments to bond or get along.

That being said however, the simple but elegant golden locket that Alcina procures from one of her many boxes of jewelry has Salvatore wondering if maybe he had misjudged Alcina, having never expected her to show him something as luxurious and real-looking as this, especially when the understanding was that she’d be giving it away whatever item of jewelry Salvatore took a liking to.

“This is an old locket I received for my 3rd birthday from a relative who died long before I was old enough to care about who they were, though all those diamond star details on the front do make me think they could have been close with us at one point, or perhaps they just had that much money to throw around? It’s an old and well-loved piece of my collection, but Duke has been bringing back such wonderful treasures from his travels that I just have to start getting rid of some of these old sentimental trinkets so I can make room for all the new additions I plan on purchasing once he finally returns” Alcina explains, gingerly handing the necklace over to Salvatore, who could do nothing but gawk at how extravagant and, to be perfectly honest, expensive the necklace looked.

With 4 small diamonds, likely real knowing Alcina, embedded into the surface of the locket’s front cover, surrounded by small engravings that give the glimmering stones the appearance of stars in the night sky, the necklace looked like it belonged upon the neck of a fair and noble princess, into which the radiant beauty could then place the photo of the man who’d stollen her innocent heart. Nadine wasn’t actually a princess and Salvatore all but gagged at the idea of a picture of his face, mutated or not, being put somewhere for anyone to see, however the necklace was far too perfect for the hooded man to possibly turn it down.

“So what do you think? Will something like this do?” The taller woman asks, curiously. “I could continue looking if that isn’t quite what you’re after, however if that is the case, then I would like to politely request that you come back and look at them tomorrow. It's already so late and I’d have to have the rest of my collection fetched from the vault downstairs.”

“N-no no… th-that’s alright… this i-is perfect… thank y-you… Alcina… this w-was very k-kind of you to do… f-for me” Salvatore says, carefully tucking the glittering necklace into the bag Donna had placed the nightgown in.

“Don’t fret about it too much, I only did it because I had a bit of time to spare prior to going to bed, and you happened to catch me in a good mood. That’s it” Alcina states firmly, though something in the back of Salvatore’s head can’t help but take the taller woman’s words with a grain of salt, feeling as though there was more to Alcina’s sudden generosity than just pure coincidence. “Besides, who knows what gaudy thing you’d have shown up with had you not made the surprisingly wise decision to invoke Donna’s and my vastly superior knowledge of the feminine experience. I don’t even want to think of what tacky little trinket you’d have tried to gift her. Why the thought of that alone is enough to make me want to run for the hills, how on earth do you think your poor little gift would have felt? I’d have had to murder you on the spot if I found out you tried to pass some disgusting pile of garbage off as an appropriate gift. In fact, if I didn’t know that Donna was working on a more fitting dress for her already, I’d have half a mind to skin you alive for only having a flimsy nightgown to take back with you, but I doubt any of the dresses I have, that would be appropriate to wear with that kind of necklace anyways, would come close to fitting her, and I really do want to start making room for some newer, more exciting pieces. So, with all that in mind, count your blessings that the stars have aligned in your favor tonight, dear brother, because I won’t be doing this for you again… unless, you’d be willing to do me a few favors in exchange for some of the other pieces of my collection, that is.”

Aaaaaaaaaaand there’s the Alcina that Salvatore knows and secretly likes. In vehement denial that she feels anything positive for her 3 siblings and also actively trying to get someone else to do her dirty work for her. It's certainly not how the hooded man prefers to operate, but he supposes that if Alcina can somehow convince everyone around her to do all of her work for her, why wouldn’t she take advantage of that as much as possible?

“I-I think that’s e-enough… for t-tonight actually… maybe i-if I decide I’d l-like to get her s-something else… I’ll c-consider that offer y-you brought up” Salvatore says, bowing politely to his sister as he makes his desire to leave obvious.

Thankfully, Alcina seems more than happy to send her older brother on his way, calling Anastasia to come lead Salvatore back to the front door so he could finally begin making his way home.

“Th-thank you again… Alcina… I really a-appreciate this… an-and I'm sure Nadine w-will love the gift t-too” Salvatore says just as he’s about to bid Alcina goodnight and begin following the young servant girl.

“Yes, yes, you’re very grateful of my wondrous kindness to you, I know, you’ve made that fact more than clear already, brother” the taller woman says with an only mildly annoyed roll of her eyes as she stands just outside the door to her chambers. “Just make sure you don’t waste the opportunity my graciousness has afforded you, do you understand?”

Salvatore stiffens nervously as Alcina shoots him a pointed look that screams ‘don’t fuck this up or I’ll fuck you up’, a threat which the hooded man knows she’ll make good on, should Salvatore make it necessary for her to do so. Salvatore wasn’t sure how Alcina had picked up on the nature of his budding affections for Nadine so quickly, or how she seemed to instinctively know what he was planning despite having never asked directly, but clearly she’d noticed something and was now in the process of making the matter of whether Salvatore successfully courted his gift her business.

Heavens above have mercy upon whomever is unlucky enough to have their problematic situation noticed and meddled with by Alcina Dimitrescu.

“Y-yes… I u-understand… an-and I’ll be s-sure not to w-waste... waste the g-golden opportunity you’ve g-given me… OH! An-and Donna w-wants her mannequins b-back... too… sh-she wanted m-me to tell y-you” Salvatore replies, his anxiety only mildly calmed when Alcina makes a face at the mention of Donna’s yet-to-be-returned-still mannequins.

“Oh for goodness sakes, I always forgot about those stupid things. Anastasia?”

“Yes, Mistress?” The young servant dutifully answers.

“Please make a note to remind me to have Heisenberg come by so he can collect and return the manequins Donna leant me while I was commissioning some dresses from her earlier this month. That foul-mouthed mutt owes me a favor, and so if all goes the way I’d like I’ll be making this his problem in the morning” Alcina says devilishly, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Of course, Lady Dimitrescu, I’ll be sure to remind you of that first thing tomorrow morning” Anastasia replies warmly, though her amicable grin is quickly replaced by a flush and a girlish giggle when Alcina waves and turns on her heel, swaying her hips in an obvious fashion before bending down to enter through the door of her chambers.

Salvatore passed exceptionally confused glances back and forth between his sister and the young servant standing in front of him, totally clueless as to what just unfolded a moment ago as a feeling of disgust, the kind you get when you see something you wish you hadn’t, began to curl in the pit of his stomach. Whatever it was that was going on in the Dimitrescu house, and more importantly with their new servant girl, it was clearly none of Salvatore’s business. Not that he’d wanted it to be in the first place.

Salvatore had enough problems to deal with regarding his own gift, he didn’t have time to worry about whether or not Alcina was already making moves on hers.

“Have a safe journey home, and do make sure to stop by with Nadine if things turn out well between the two of you. Based on how today played out, it would seem as though things are about to get a lot more interesting around here… and a lot more fun too. Goodnight, Dear Brother” is all Alcina says before gently closing the door to her chambers, effectively ending their conversation without so much as a single word from Salvatore, not that he minded being handed the chance to finally get out of here, especially after… whatever the hell that exchange between Alcina and Anastasia was.

Best not to think too hard about it, probably, especially when there was another woman back at the reservoir who was much more deserving of Salvatore’s lustful and impure musings.

“Uuum… the front door is this way… Lord Moreau,” Anastasia says suddenly, her face still dark from embarrassment, though whether it was from her earlier treatment of him before she learned he was another Lord and not just some random man from the village, or from… that thing he just saw that he doesn’t feel like thinking about anymore, the hooded man couldn’t tell.

Nor did he particularly care to find out.

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nonbinaryresource · 4 years

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hi. i wanted to ask whether or not it’s ok to take comfort in a person that has not officially come out as trans but has included many forms of gender expression in their work? i’m trans and when i listened to this artist’s work (harry styles - she & fine line) i connected with the songs immediately? i found a lot of people in the community who too connected to the songs and interpreted the lyrics as a struggle with one’s gender identity. at first i was against calling harry trans because i thought it was wrong, but then after reading master posts i discovered that he constantly portrays gender in his work (using the trans flag on his album cover; being ok with his friends referring to him with she/her, miss, ‘sue’ instead of ‘harry’, and sis; his obsession with babies and especially wanting to get pregnant; relating himself only to female artists; etc.) and now i’m really confused. it feels comforting as a fan to relate to him and i, and a lot of other fans from the community, sometimes refer to him with he/she/they instead of he/him (he never said his pronouns are he/him). is that wrong? every time my (trans) friends and i refer to him with pronouns other than he/him or tell people not to assume he’s cis as he never specified that, other (usually cis. a trans fan called me transphobic and told me to stop seeking validation from cis white men.) fans will start calling us transphobic and delusional and attacking us to the point we had anxiety attacks over it? i’m just really confused right now. i don’t want to misgender anyone but i don’t understand why relating to someone who, from their actions, could be part of the community is wrong. i’m not out to anyone irl and sometimes i wish people caught on to the little things i do and recognise that i am part of the community. i don’t understand why people keep shutting down the idea the harry could be trans when he never said he was cis and was ok being referred to as she.

he has previously said that there are no lines between what's masculine and what's feminine for him anymore. i'm sorry this is so long and thank you

(You also sent in the song lyrics - thanks for the easy reference! - but I’m clipping those for length reasons.)

Disclaimer before I dig in: I am not a Harry Styles stan, I know very little about him, most of what I am going to say specifically about him is stuff I researched about specifically to answer this ask. I want to speak mostly generally to your question.

Okay, so you posed a pretty succinct, straight forward question. “i wanted to ask whether or not it’s ok to take comfort in a person that has not officially come out as trans but has included many forms of gender expression in their work?“ However, there’s also a lot of context to this ask that makes things not so straight forward, and there are several distinct issues touched upon here I want to delve into. But it seems a good a starting place as any to start with the direct question you asked.

Yes, of course it’s okay to find your own meaning in art and role models and relate to art your way from your perspective based on your experience. In fact, that’s nearly the entire purpose of art! And it makes sense too, that we as social creatures would look up to and be inspired by celebrities, artists, mentors, role models, etc. Feeling connected to and less alone because someone in the spotlight plays with gender presentation like you might or want to makes a lot of sense!

However, we have to remember that A) sometimes art is just art, and B) someone being in the spotlight doesn’t mean we actually know or understand them or are/should act familiar with them.

As an example, a couple years back, Will Jay released a song called “Never Been in Love” that pretty much exploded with aros and aces and became a bit of an anthem for a lot of us. Many wondered if he was aspec himself and there was a lot of queries about it (and I saw quite a few blogs reminding folk that they were allowed to relate to the song even if it meant something different to Will Jay or he wasn’t actually aspec). Earlier this year, he released the song “Lies” where he admits that he was writing songs he thought people would relate to and he actually had been in love even before writing “Never Been In Love”. That should do nothing to diminish how meaningful the song was to people, though! If we related to the song, we related to the song, and if it was meaningful and made us feel seen and understood, that’s great! A lot of times, art is personal, but sometimes art is just an exploration.

This concept applies even more to people themselves. It is soooo easy to idolize and romanticize people you’ve never actually met and really only see the persona they want you to see. Yes, they share personal information with the world and they experience a general lack of privacy that makes you feel like yeah, you really know who they are. But how can you really, personally, intimately know someone without interacting with them, chatting with them, getting to know them one on one? It’s fine to have role models and feel represented by and relate to a celebrity - just do not lose sight of the fact that what you’re feeling is personal feeling on your own end. It’s not something that this celebrity has actually built with you.

To put this another way: it is fine to headcanon fictional characters, but it’s not okay to headcanon real people.

Now, what I’m building up to here is that there are a lot of assumptions I am seeing - from both sides - that we cannot truly know because all we know is what Harry [or anyone] chooses to share with us. I’d like to break this down by going through some specific points.

at first i was against calling harry trans because i thought it was wrong

Okay, there are two sides to this.

1) It is wrong to apply a gender label/descriptor to someone without their permission.

2) In a cisnormative society, “cis” is the default gender label/descriptor to apply to everyone, and that’s equally wrong, so I get why it feels like a rebellion of the system to go “well, there are Reasons they could be trans, so I’m just going to go ahead and call them trans”.

We should get away from automatically labeling everyone as “cis”. However, the way we fix this isn’t to just decide we get to apply whatever label/descriptor to someone we want.

If someone hasn’t clarified or specified their gender (and you can’t/it isn’t a good or safe idea to ask them), it’s the safest bet to go by what they seem to be majority being called or what you can find of them referring to themself as.

In some cases, when someone seems to be specifically avoiding labeling themselves or uncomfortable with labeling themselves, it may be most comfortable for you to also avoid labeling them just as much as possible.

being ok with his friends referring to him with she/her, miss, ‘sue’ instead of ‘harry’, and sis; his obsession with babies and especially wanting to get pregnant; relating himself only to female artists; etc.)

It’s worth considering - is this something for friends only? Or is it open to fans and other public sectors?

Usually if something is for friends only, it’ll be kept out of public eye, but if only friends are doing this, is this something that is only being shared with you or is it something you’re entitled to as well?

Aaaaaaaaalso, it has to be pointed out that it’s binarist and cisnormative in it’s own way to equate different names/pronouns automatically with being trans or being a specific trans identity. Wanting to get pregnant? Do you know how many cis women I’ve heard go on and on about wanting a penis so they can pee standing up (like... all of them anytime we’re outside or camping)? Plenty of cis people use pronouns you might not expect! You don’t have to be trans/nonbinary to use multiple or ‘atypical’ pronouns. Cis people are allowed to use other pronouns as well! They’re allowed to have names typically associated with other genders! Not all gender nonconforming or genderqueer people/people queering gender are trans! Not everybody exploring their gender nor gender presentation is trans!

not to assume he’s cis as he never specified that

It’s great to not assume someone is cis! But that doesn’t automatically make them trans.

i don’t want to misgender anyone but i don’t understand why relating to someone who, from their actions, could be part of the community is wrong.

Do you specifically, absolutely need to gender someone in order to relate to them?

i don’t understand why people keep shutting down the idea the harry could be trans when he never said he was cis and was ok being referred to as she.

I’ve only recently seen a tiny bit of this ‘discourse’ around on twitter, but what I see is a few issues/points:

A) It’s not up to us to claim someone as trans if they have not come out as trans. Coming out is an extremely personal choice and should be up to each individual. “Claiming” them is basically dragging them into something that very well may be not theirs. And if it is theirs, why would you want to steal that moment of getting to determine and declare that away from them?

B) We are all so done with cis, able-bodied white folk being prioritized above the rest of the queer community!!! There are actual, legitimate, out trans people that can be your trans role models and they’re being shoved to the back of the closet in favor of a privileged, white Schrödinger’s Trans. Let’s uplift our actual community instead of getting stuck on someone who may or may not be a part of community - and may not even want to be a part of it!

All that being said, I do want to say something really quickly on Harry himself because it ties back into the assumptions we’ve been talking about. Harry’s sexuality has long been a question on fans and journalists minds, and Harry has pretty consistently made it clear that he’s not really interested in labels or boxes. Harry’s gender is not something that has been asked about, talked about, or answered on much. And his comment on masculinity and femininity? Let’s remember that, like pronouns, masculinity and femininity don’t automatically or inherently relate to one specific gender or not. And, quite frankly, it is faucet of toxic masculinity and cissexism to equate a gnc man/man in a dress with being trans. Men are allowed to wear dresses and makeup and heels! Men are allowed to be soft and nurturing and to cry! Cis or trans, men are allowed to be these things, and arguing that they’re trans simply for doing or being any of these does continue to enforce dangerous and strict views of the gender binary.

Okay, it feels like I kinda put you through the wringer, so I want to go back and reiterate: it is 100% valid to relate to and feel connected to/inspired by someone on the basis of their presentation and gender exploration. It is not valid to claim ownership over their identity because of this. It is possible for two people to experience same or similar things and yet come to different conclusions about themselves!

If Harry Styles as an icon is important to you, I’m glad you can have that! But not everyone will or has to share your connection, and the only one actually qualified to speak on Harry’s gender is Harry himself. Harry could be trans, but it’s his right and his right only to claim that label. Any assuming we do is just that: an assumption. And I want you to be careful with your own feelings getting too attached to the image of Harry you’ve built up in your own head only to potentially have them shattered if Harry decides to speak on things and it turns out his feelings don’t mean what you thought.

Your identity is valid regardless of how Harry Styles feels or identifies. You feeling validated and seen and represented by Harry’s actions is valid regardless of how Harry Styles feels or identifies. It’s great to have role models and be inspired by people, but remember that at the end of the day, you need to be able to rely on yourself to keep up your ego and determine your sense of self.

~Pluto

#long post #mod pluto #identity #role models #discourse #gender #gender binary #cisnormativity #cissexism #mod tera #Anonymous

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diaphobic · 3 years

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what would the boys ideal male s/o be like? could you do appearance and personality if that’s okay?

Admin: I write for male s/o’s as well :)

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Shu

- He’d like a guy that is as tall as him, if not taller. He’d enjoy being able to be snuggled and held close. His favorite place to lay is on a guys chest. When he’s there he’ll like his hair played with and his head pat.

- He’d want a semi muscular guy. He isn’t a huge fan of big muscles, but he definitely wants some on a guy. Subtle abs and other muscles are attractive to him. He’s a big fan of Adam’s apples too.

- Shu has a soft spot for longer hair on guys. Bonus points of its partway tied up. He loves the subtle femininity of the guy. Though he doesn’t like much facial hair.

- Shu wouldn’t mind a dominant guy. It’s less work for him if someone else takes the lead for him. That being said, he does love being the dominant personality as well. He would want his lover to take the initiative and start their relationship.

Reiji

- Reiji likes both feminine and masculine males. It really doesn’t matter to him whether his partner is smaller or larger. He looks more for personality.

- The guy should be able to present himself well. He shouldn’t be lazy, uneducated, unmotivated, or uncultured. He wants him to be able to keep up in conversations. Reiji isn’t bothered by having to teach him, but he’d prefer not to have to.

- Reiji is a sucker for guys in suits and gloves. Even though his style is like this, he still loves it in other men. Something about men being dressed up and reserved is really attractive to him. He wants to undo the carefully presented man in front of him. It’s sort of a taboo thing for him.

- Reiji would prefer his partners personality to be more submissive than his own. He likes being in control of his partners. He’ll get really insecure if his partner is more controlling than he is.

Ayato

- Ayato would want a masculine guy. More of a sports body physique. He likes sporty guys that are around his height. He’ll like it if the guy is physically fit. He likes toned muscles.

- A guy that has a submissive personality is right up his alley. He’ll expect the guy to be under his control. He loves seeing his crying face too. He’ll do lots of things to push him over the edge just to see his crying face.

- Ayato thinks guys with sleeves that are too long for them is somehow really cute. He thinks it makes them look submissive and shy. That’s a personality type he really likes.

- He likes shorter hair on guys. He’ll dig hair cuts that are shorter in the back and longer on top. The more neck showing the better.

Kanato

- Kanato would like a more feminine guy much like himself. He would want the guy to look almost female. He likes feminine and soft features on a guy.

- His type of guy would be open minded to all sorts of feminine things. He loves dolls and dress up, so he’d want his partner to like the same. Or at least not be afraid to embrace it. Kanato isn’t afraid to wear dresses either.

- He’d want a guy that’s able to cook. Kanato likes being taken care of to a certain extent. If it isn’t to his liking, his partner should expect a cruel punishment.

- Kanato will like a guy that is overall very submissive. He wants to be able to control his lover. Being in a position of power makes him feel secure in himself. He doesn’t want to be controlled or feel less than.

Laito

- He would look for a guy that isn’t afraid to take control and be the bigger guy. He doesn’t mind being pushed around. In fact, he likes it. He won’t be shy to give his partner a taste of his own medicine either.

- Laito loves the subtle features of guys. He admires the male body a lot. He likes seeing collar bones, Adam’s apples, v-lines, chests. His lover will catch him stealing glances at him.

- He likes guys that are well dressed. Not particularly fancy clothing, but presentable. He’ll enjoy stealing his lovers clothing.

- He’ll want a guy that is emotionally intelligent. Meaning he should have be able to understand why Laito acts the way he does to a certain extent. He wants a strong willed lover that won’t point out all of his flaws, but rather accept them and let him talk first.

Subaru

- He likes guys that are a little bit shorter than him. He doesn’t like to compare himself much to his partner.

- Subaru likes to be the protector, but also enjoys being protected. He wants his lover to take the protector role quite often. Treat Subaru very kindly. He has a fragile heart and a rough exterior.

- He’s a sucker for chubby cheeks. He loves them on guys. It’s a cute and youthful look that attracts him. He’s a fan of semi long hair as well. Not too far past the jaw though. He thinks fluffy hair is handsome.

- Subaru will want the guy to be submissive, but also dominant. Subaru wants the guy to be able to take care of him and be confident in making moves on him. He needs a little encouragement when forming a relationship.

#diabolik lovers #shu sakamaki #reiji sakamaki #ayato sakamaki #kanato sakamaki #laito sakamaki #subaru sakamaki #diabolik lovers headcanons #male s/o

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adhd-disaster-willie · 3 years

Text

seventeen and strung out on confusion; chapter 3/4

chapter 1

chapter 2

So for the sake of this fic, we’re pretending that Alex is actually the youngest and he turned 17 right before the Orpheum. :)

This chapter is a little short, but writers block has been killing me recently.

Warnings: Mentions of homophobia

---

July 7, 1995

Alex remembers Luke once telling him that it would be cool if the weather could shift to match your mood. Like if you were sad, it would start raining in the middle of July, or if you were happy, all the clouds would clear. Alex thought that was stupid, until he woke up on his 17th birthday with the sun shining on his face and not a cloud in sight. It was summer in California so he wasn’t really expecting it to be a gloomy morning, but nonetheless, he’d been hoping it would at least be a little cloudy.

Now, Alex had nothing against birthday’s in general; but considering it was his first birthday away from home and living in a garage (not to mention, having to sleep next to Luke who talked in his sleep and could not stay still. He and Reggie had done rock paper scissors in figuring out who’d get the mattress in the loft and who’d have to sleep on the pull-out with Luke. Alex had lost) he wasn’t feeling very celebratory.

Alex pulled his blanket over his eyes, half-hoping he could just sleep through the day, but apparently his friends had other plans.

“Alex!” Luke called, tossing himself onto the bed and almost sending Alex careening over the edge.

Alex yelped and shot up, glaring at Luke. “What the hell, man?”

“Happy birthday!” Reggie piped up, waving enthusiastically from the loft, promptly followed by a soft shriek, likely from Bobby slapping his shoulder. “What?” Reggie whispered. “I’m just-”

“Dude,” Bobby hissed, nodding his head in the direction of a miserable, exhausted Alex, with horrible bed-head that did nothing to help the fact that he already looked like a vampire that’s just been pulled from his coffin after 100 years. Reggie opened his mouth in recognition, before closing it and smiling apologetically.

Alex pulled the blanket back over his head as if he were a disgruntled 12 year old being forced to dress as a sheet ghost. “Can I go back to sleep now?” He asked from inside the blanket.

“Nope!” Luke replied, pulling the blanket off of Alex’s head and earning himself several mumbled curse words. “We’re going to keep you distracted all day-”

“I’d be pretty distracted if I were sleeping,” Alex grumbled.

“We’re gonna make gingerbread cookies since those are your favorite and you love baking-”

“I was having a really good dream.”

“And Bobbers found an ice-skating rink that is somehow not melted-”

“Why would it be melted?” Reggie asked. “They have like… stuff to keep it frozen right?”

“I was a fish. In the dream. Surprisingly calming.”

“Wait what keeps it frozen though?”

“The water was pink,” Alex sighed, sinking further down until he was hanging off the edge of the bed.

“Sciencey stuff,” Reggie replied to Luke, very matter-of-factly.

“You guys weren’t in the dream,” Alex mused. “Probably why it was so quiet.”

His three friends turned to him now, faces contorted in various degrees of offense. Alex only continued to scowl at them.

“Low blow, man,” Bobby said, shaking his head remorsefully.

Luke clapped Alex on the back and grinned. “Well! It’s a great thing we woke you up, cause now you don’t have to be a boring fish with no friends.”

“I had friends. Fish friends.”

“Doubt it. Now stand up.”

“What if we just practice. I mean we’re playing the Orpheum in like two weeks-” Alex was interrupted by Bobby’s hand over his mouth.

“Shut up, dude! Do you know how much persuasion it took to get Luke not to make us practice all day?!”

“A lot,” Reggie clarified, looking at Alex with wide eyes. “He gets the loft mattress for a week,” he sighed dismally.

It took several more minutes for Alex to be fully dragged out of bed, and it wasn’t for another hour that he was dressed and standing in Bobby’s kitchen, glaring at the oven.

Alex’s stomach tied itself in knots and he fiddled anxiously with the hem of his shirt. He knew his friends had good intentions, and they really were just trying to keep him distracted. But Alex did not want to bake. Especially not gingerbread, even though they were his favorite and he hadn’t them since… Well he hadn’t had them since the day he’d been kicked out. But he wasn’t gonna tell the band that and ruin this for them. Staring at the ingredients they’d already taken the time to lay out (and in order of what got mixed in first too! Just like Alex liked it), Alex’s mouth felt dry and bitter.

Baking had been his and his Mom’s thing. It was the only “feminine” thing she let him do without glowering at him. And every December, they’d spend days making hundreds of gingerbread cookies to pass out to friends and neighbors. Last year, he didn’t get to help make the cookies and every one he ate tasted like cardboard. Alex settled his hands on the edge of the counter in a futile attempt to stop them from trembling. These were just cookies. Stupid cookies. And at least they weren’t making the cake his mom had made him every year for the first 15 years of his life. Lemon with chocolate frosting, Luke hated it but Alex had always refused to cave and make a normal chocolate cake. But this wasn’t the cake, so there was no need for Alex to get worked up. And yet, his whole body felt like it was made of tightly wound springs and he just wanted to cry.

“I feel like that’s not enough sugar,” Luke mumbled underneath his breath. “Alex, come look at the recipe, that’s not enough sugar, right?” He poked Alex’s shoulder and earned no response.

Alex shook his head, not really processing what Luke had asked over the buzzing in his ears. He looked down at the counter again and felt sick. So he ran. It wasn’t until the three other boys heard Now or Never begin very aggressively that they shared a knowing look and jogged off to the garage.

Alex was only half paying attention to his movement, it really was muscle memory at this point. He choked back tears, guilt rising like bile in his throat. They were only trying to help, and he’d ruined it. But he couldn’t make gingerbread; it would only remind him of the way his parents unconditional love gained conditions as soon as he stepped out of line, as soon as he didn’t quite fit into their nuclear family. He almost scoffed at the thought, because really, his family had been far from perfect, they were just good at keeping things shoved underneath the rug. But apparently Alex being gay was too big a dust bunny for them to sweep up.

A sudden cough from the entrance of the studio snapped Alex from his trance. His drumsticks fell quickly to his sides and he looked up, swallowing thickly and trying to rid himself of the lump in his throat. Reggie stopped wringing his hands together to wave and offer a weak smile. “Hey Lex,” He said quietly.

Alex sighed, running his hands over his face. “I’m sorry,” He said. “I- I know you guys were only trying to help but I just-”

“We know,” Luke interjected, earning a glare from Bobby. “Don’t look at me like that! I’m making it so he doesn’t have to explain and start crying again!” He stuck his tongue out at Bobby before continuing. “Gingerbread… we uh, we didn’t think it through.”

Alex nodded. “Thanks,” he whispered sincerely.

“Do you still want to bake though?” Reggie asked. “We can make something else-”

“Can we just practice?” Alex twirled his drumsticks. “I’m already ready.” He smiled hopefully at his friends, two of which let out frustrated groans. Luke was beaming comically.

“Aw man, but then I gave up the loft mattress for nothing!”

“Dude, I’ve been sticking up for you all day, but Lexi. Come on.”

Luke slapped a hand over each of their mouths. “Practice sounds great!” He shouted. “I mean, don’t you guys want to make Alex feel better?”

Reggie and Bobby shared a look. Alex tapped his cymbals lightly and smiled. “Can’t forget the-”

“The Orpheum, we know!” Reggie whined. “But that’s two whole weeks away and my hands are still cramping from yesterday. We practiced for 6 hours!”

“6 hours,” Bobby repeated grimly, shuddering.

Alex grinned wickedly before standing up and throwing an arm each over Reggie and Bobby’s shoulders. “Come on, it’s my birthday.”

“You can’t just suddenly be okay with it being your birthday! That’s not fair!”

“Nuh uh, birthday card is illegal. And just yesterday you almost hit Luke for asking you to play that one drum line again,” Bobby reminded him. But he was already slinging his guitar over his shoulder.

Reggie picked up his bass, pouting. “On my birthday, I’m gonna make you and Luke practice alone while Bobby and I watch.”

“For 6 hours,” Bobby tacked on.

Alex shook his head and laughed. “Deal.”

They never made it to Reggie’s birthday.

---

...sorry about the last sentence, please don’t hate me :)

The next chapter will be about Alex coming out to Julie, because mlm and wlw solidarity and also I can’t write a fic without Julie in it, that’d be treason.

Taglist: @stars-soph, @thatsmyverb

chapter 4

#jatp #julie and the phantoms #jatp fic #sunset curve #alex mercer #alex mercer fic #reggie peters #luke patterson #bobby jatp #trevor wilson #willow writes

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mundungs · 3 years

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ϟ. → robert sheehan : genderfluid : he/they/she : dealer of illicit objects and substances : the raven by the alan parsons project ϟ did you see mundungus fletcher ? you know , 31 year old halfblood who was formally in ravenclaw. some say dung can be quite furtive but are known to be unreliable. they are aligned with the order . maybe that’s why they remind me of naming stray cats, flicking a lighter over and over again, falling asleep on the subway. ϟ

some links for food

bio

stats

pins

playlist

history

ciannán o’donnell is a flighty man, one of many relationships and flings and little loyalty, and so his affair with maeve fletcher does not last long. when she tells him she is pregnant, he moves on to a different woman, and maeve has her son alone, with her sister on her side. and thus, mundungus is born (and giving an arguably atrocious name).

he grows up with his mum – a halfblooded witch and by far his favourite person in the world – in limerick, attending muggle school there. he knew who his dad was, but wasn’t quite sure how to feel about — his father is a criminal, a prominent member of the irish mob.

he meets his dad for the first time at age seven, and was nothing but impressed. his dad showered him with gifts, his mum watching with a furious look on her face but biting her tongue. that moment was a switch for mundungus; he felt the need to impress his dad. he stole some sweets from a store on his way home from school a week later, fished some pennies out of the pockets of his classmates a few months later. when he phoned his dad to tell him, his laugh was warm and filled with life. his relationship with his dad got better as his behaviour got worse. the thrill of stealing, of doing stuff he wasn’t supposed to, lit him not only on fire because it was exciting, but also because he knew his dad would adore it.

but ciannan, a flighty man, pushes and pulls. and so mundungus was fed disappointment by his father, liking love off a shiny knife rather than a spoon ( silver or plastic, what the fuck does it matter ). details omitted, long story made short: his dad sucks and his mother tries, but mundungus is pulled towards that what smells of danger.

DRUGS MENT. at hogwarts, dung is sorted into ravenclaw. not at all the booksmart type, he falls more into the chaotic-creativity, random-bursts-of-wanting-to-learn-everything-about-something type of ravenclaw. there’s two worlds, then: the muggle world, where he slowly dips his water further in criminal waters, and the wizarding one, where he’s chaotic and messy but a student. when he grows older, these overlap: dung starts selling some of his dad’s weed at hogwarts, and soon gains a reputation of being able to get people less-than-legal shit.

not getting high off your own supply is not a sentiment he agrees with. not then, not later, not now. dung is fun, always in for a party and willing to supply the goods to throw it. if some rich purebloods lose a few galleons at said party, well, it sure isn’t him! END OF TW

he graduates with two newts, in herbology and potions, failing his dada and charms exams. he’s not an academic.

falling into the family business after graduation is easy. mundungus is attracted by the criminal underworld, both that of muggle ireland and that of the wizarding world. knockturn alley was a place frequented in teenage years, but now becomes more his place. he makes connections, exchanges strange potion recipes for other things. makes an odd wager on a bunch of stolen brass scales and turns a profit.

a career is not something that interests him; he is more interested in bending rules and making quick money. thievery, selling illegal shit, heists, fraud, fuck-all. mundungus is not limited by one descriptor, one kind of criminality. he just does what he wants and hopes to make a good penny.

but then he almost gets sent to azkaban over some, in his frank opinion, bullshit. it’s dumbledore who talks the wizengamot out of it, saddling dung up with some community service and persuading him towards the order. he’s twenty three. the war is still fresh. he has no interest in it, but he owes the old man. fine.

mundungus does vehemently oppose blood purity and any kind of discriminatory ideals, an anarchist in his very bones, but he is also cowardly. to side with self-proclaimed rebels is not in his blood and yet it’s where he ends up, bringing shady ties to the underworld to the table and a sheer ability to sneak around and fuck the law. and maybe, amidst the ranks of the order, dung finds something he’s not very familiar with: a large family. and dung? well, he’s the stoner, gay, super-fucking-chaotic cousin.

personality

if jesper fahey and kaz brekker had a child, it would be dung.

other character parallels: fezco ( euphoria ), boris ( the goldfinch ), doug judy ( b99 ), jason mendoza ( the good place ), chris miles ( skins ), nick miller ( new girl ), creed bratton ( the office ), scott lang ( marvel ), lillian ( unbreakable kimmy schmidt )

technically he’s homeless. he’s got a bedroom at his ma’s place, has a ton of squatter connects in the muggle scene and couch surfes aplenty, but dung doesn’t rent a place. why? landlords are evil. he could afford a place, just doesn’t see the point. life’s better with some adventure.

appears very neutral in public as it’s beneficial to his role in the order???

.... tortured artist. writes poetry and loves to draw and paint.

tattooed the fuck up. some are his own designs.

can usually be spotted wearing The Coat, a rly expensive, vintage long coat that he once stole of a pureblood. he’s enlarged the pockets with some handy spellwork and pretty much carries everything he owes in there, like his produce and his money and his second pair of shoes and his art supplies and probably some random trash.

loves animals. he loves stray cats especially <3 they are his kin.

an anarchist. a bit of a punk. a deep idealist with a cowardly heart so constantly betraying himself (and sometimes others?)

queer! enby! genderfluid! i used he/him pronouns throughout this intro but dung truly doesn’t give a damn what u use. loves to dress up in feminine clothes.

has a ton of aliases, lol, the most important one being marigold fincher.

cusses too fuckin much to be healthy :/

oh no he is a big sad insecure kid deep inside :/ dont tell anyone how embarrassing!!!! shhhh!! it’s a secret.

quick connection ideas

victim. wow please. if your character is rich. let me steal from u. pick ur pockets. break into ur house. get some of ur stuff and drop it on the black market.

customer. dung sells. whatever u need. drugs. weird magical things. ask and ye shall receive. his prices are whack but he does deliver <3

pal. party friends! order friends! random encounter friends! dung has a trashmouth and loves to talk pls let him chat u up and u will never be rid of him <3

couch. he couch surfs. a lot. if ur character trusts dung enough to let him into their home (which they shouldnt) then pls let him sleep over for a night. he will leave a strangely expensive necklace on ur kitchen table as a thank u. or wilted flowers. no in between.

skeptic. ur char is in the order and thinks dung is a liability and maybe they have a point. a point mundungus would rather not face :)

dmle bitches. dung hates anyone authoritative but esp the coppers at the ministry (hit wix & aurors) (yea he calls them coppers sorry he doesnt respect them enough to call them aurors <3). give me that doug judy/jake peralta dynamic. or just someone in the dmle who is like ... sigh this guy again???

fwb/one night stand/fling/etc. he’s a bit slutty <333 give him some ppl he’s hooked up with / will hook up with.

#muddywaters.intro #intro.#this one <3 this one has so much dumb energy in one body <3

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cocovikings23 · 3 years

Text

New Start - Chapter 5 (Modern Ivar x Reader)

This is the fifth chapter, it's the first time I write sex scenes, I'm not comfortable with it yet. Sorry if it's below your expectations.

Words : 2401

Warnings : Sex scene

Gif by The Real Cali Cali

Chapter 5: The Flight

Monday morning 8am...

You arrive at the office, Hvitty and Ubbe are already there, they are working on a big file with a certain Harald who is a friend of their father. They are in video-conference with Harald, they are in a good mood. You sit behind your desk and open your laptop, you receive a notification from Ivar on your e-mail, he asks you to come to his office.

Ivar had left late Sunday morning after having breakfast with you. He sent you a message as he walked through his door to let you know that he had made it home and enjoyed being with you that night. On Sunday night you slept in his place, sniffing your pillow that still had his scent on it. It soothed you, calmed you down...

You leave your office, the two brothers are not paying attention, they are too busy in their conversation with Harald, you go to Ivar's office. The door is closed, you hesitate to knock or enter directly without his authorization but you don't know what mood he's in this Monday morning so you decide to play it safe and knock.

"Come in! "You hear Ivar shouting behind the door, you go in, he is sitting down, he is typing a letter on his computer, "please sit down Y/N", he nods at you and points to the chair on the other side of his desk. You carry out his orders, he is very direct in his words, but despite everything Ivar does not seem to be in a bad mood, however you prefer to stay on guard. You know he can turn around in two seconds.

Ivar speaks again after shutting down his computer, "Good Y/N, thank you for coming so quickly, I have good and bad news. The good news is that I can confirm that you are going with me and Floki...", you feel relieved because you really want to go with him, to be away from his brothers, away from the company, you hope to know another Ivar. Then he resumes, "the bad one: our flight is at 2pm. I have already arranged everything for the flight, we take Father's private jet. I leave you your morning to prepare your suitcase. »

"Oh well, okay...", you're very surprised and you assimilate as much as you can the information that Ivar has just told you and what the fuck?! A private jet? In the end, it only half surprises you.

"If you have, I'd like you to take a cocktail dress with you, we have to meet many of our employees at a dinner. "You can go home now, meet us at the airport at 1pm. ».

" All right Ivar, thank you for giving me this opportunity to go with you and Floki. "

Well, now it's time for you to go pack your suitcase.

You arrive at the airport on time, you see in the distance Ivar and Floki who is visibly happy to see you again, he takes you in his arms to greet you, "Y/N! I am happy that you are coming with us, a feminine touch to this business is welcome".

"Hello Floki, nice to see you again", you blush slightly, Floki is someone who intimidates you a lot. You notice that Ivar observes you hugging each other with a touch of jealousy in his eyes, he soon puts an end to your embrace, "I think that for hugs it's enough, we have to go if we don't want to miss our plane".

A stewardess comes to pick you up and accompanies you to the tarmac, there is a big white private jet with the Lothbrock coat of arms, without any doubt this is the plane you are going to take. A man in a black suit welcomes you aboard the jet, he looks like a bodyguard in a way. The jet is sumptuous and luxurious: the seats are in beige leather, there are champagne buckets between each double seat, the jet's upholstery is light brown with some brown shadows.

Ivar pushes you with his hand to the bottom of the plane, there is a private room quite distinct from the rest of the aircraft. There are only two seats side by side with no armrests separating them, on the other side there is a small fridge. You sit on the seat that is close to the window, Ivar closes the curtain that separates you from the other part of the plane, he notices your surprise, "I don't want us to be disturbed",

"But Floki, he's going to be alone all the way? "you emphasized,

"Don't worry about that old fool, he'll listen to his classical music and start rambling on about his philosophical thoughts, we'll have landed that he won't even realize it.

"All right, I see," you're still worried about Floki, who's friendly and weird, you have to admit.

Ivar gets rid of his crutches and sits on the seat next to you, he adjusts his legs to be comfortable. You look at your hands, play with your thumbs, you're extremely stressed to be alone with Ivar. He looks at you for a little while, he puts his hand on yours, "Don't be nervous, the flight is going to be fine". You turn to him and give him a little smile to make him feel relaxed when it's just the opposite and no, it's not the flight that makes you anxious.

The captain announces that he's about to take off, you hear the engines start up. The plane moves on the runway and in less than two minutes you were already at altitude. Ivar put his hand on your thigh during takeoff and it was still there. He squeezed it tight enough for you to want him to keep that grip on you or even tighten it a little more.

He leans towards you and whispers in your ear, "I've been waiting for this moment for a long time...", he takes your face with his free hand so you can look at him and he kisses you. It was still a form of kiss that the previous times, there is so much lust in this one, your legs wobble, thank goodness you're sitting down. He frees you from the kiss and then plunges his hand under your t-shirt to grab one of your breasts through your bra. You don't move, you remain as if frozen and tense, Ivar feels it "If you don't want me to touch you, I won't", you nod and make him understand that he can continue his exploration.

"Do you want me as much as I want you? "Ivar wants to make sure that he doesn't make a mistake.

"Yes, I want you Ivar", you let go of these words between two gasps, Ivar knows how to deal with you, he immediately found your weak point: your chest.

"Well, I think we can get down to business", his voice is full of eroticism, "but you'll have to help me, unfortunately I can't move my legs as I want and it's a small place", he continues to whisper these words in your ear.

"Yes, of course Ivar, I understand", you remove on your own initiative your t-shirt by letting expose your black lace outfit. What a good idea to have left a touch of feminism on you!

Ivar takes your breasts out of your bra, kisses your nipples one after the other, licks them and gently bites your nipples. You turn towards him so that he is not too bad to reach you. You gasp under his tongue. He is soft and very enterprising at the same time, the perfect combo is Ivar: an iron hand in a velvet glove.

He brings his kisses up to your neck: the second place where you are hyper sensitive! Ivar slips his hand into your pants, he caresses you over your thong, the tissue is so thin that you feel the same sensations as if it were directly on your skin. You raise your buttocks a little and make your pants go down on your ankles, Ivar smiles seeing you there in front of him in underwear, "Good girl".

You blush when you hear these words, seeing you ready to please him Ivar asks you to lie down and stick your back against the window so that your sex is facing him. You do this with shyness. You are so vulnerable in this position but Ivar is delighted to see you like this. He removes your underware, slides it along the legs and throws it over his shoulder. He bites his lower lip when he finally sees your sex dripping with pleasure for him.

He slides his head between your legs and you feel his warm tongue on your lips, lightly tickling your pleasure bud. You're panting, moaning, you've wanted to feel this sensation since the first day you saw him. He speeds up his tongue strokes and then he gently moves away from your entrance to sprinkle little kisses on the inside of your thighs, it makes you shiver and Ivar likes the hold he has on your body, a body he is discovering for the first time but it was as if he had known you forever.

He puts his thumb on your clitoris, the sensation electrifies you, he puts a finger in your wet pussy, starts coming and going and then adds a second one, your head tilts back, he accentuates his gestures with his tongue that plays with your clit. You feel this warmth in your lower abdomen, it has been a long time since you have felt such well-being, then you let yourself go completely to this wave of pleasure that invades you, you moan a little noisily, one of your hands tightens very strongly the leather seat where you do not fail to leave nail marks. Your first orgasm in months and given by Ivar Lothbrock. You gradually come to your senses, then Ivar breaks the silence, "Come on me, I want to feel you, I want to be inside you," you turn your eyes to the curtain for fear of being caught, he notices and reassures you, "No one will come and bother us unless I give the order. »

"Okay, I trust you, I wouldn't want you to get into trouble...", you still say shyly with the rosy cheeks of the previous pleasure,

"I'm the boss, I'll never get in trouble", her voice is soft and Ivar turns around, "However you could get in trouble if you don't bring your pussy on my cock! ", here is the authoritarian boss.

Ivar opens his bag and takes out a condom and... a pair of handcuffs, your eyes widen at the sight of this instrument a lot of things go through your head: How did he get these handcuffs because they are not handcuffs that you can find in a sex shop, no they are real handcuffs. Did he ever use them? Did he foresee what was going to happen?

Ivar takes you out of your thoughts, "Put your wrists behind your back! " Without thinking you do it, he ties your wrists, he tightens the handcuffs, that dominating side of Ivar excites you more. He lowers his pants and boxers to half thigh, his cock is long and thick a real treat for the eyes, you dare not imagine for the rest.

He opens the little package and slides the condom on his shaft, then he takes you by the hips to settle you on him, you slip carefully on his cock. He sinks inch by inch into you, you are warm and tight, he doesn't fail to make you notice it. He gives you a little time to adjust to him, then slowly you start to ride him. You put your handcuffed hands on his knees hoping not to hurt his legs. Ivar helps you by kicking you more, getting louder and louder, your ass bounces off his pelvis, a rattling sound echoes through the booth.

Your warm breaths mix into a fiery kiss, he kisses your neck and goes down to your chest, he bites your nipples hanging down, you gasp under his tongue strokes. His hands cling to your hips to give you more impetus to crush you on his cock. Ivar pushes you to your second orgasm, your eyes roll to the back of your head. You let a loud moan come out of your mouth, Ivar soon arrives and bites your breast and lets out a guttural sound.

You are all panting, Ivar has put his head on your chest, you have your chin resting on top of his head you are out of breath. You look at each other, satisfied with what you've done, Ivar takes your face and kisses you and then pulls himself together, "I'm going to untie you and then you can put your clothes on".

"Thank you Ivar", your voice is still trembling, he unties you then makes sure that he hasn't made any marks on you, he caresses your wrists and puts a delicate kiss on each one. You take back your clothes that are still lying on the cabin floor and put them back on.

You adjust your hair one last time and sit down again next to Ivar, who had specifically pulled up his pants. He looks at you, you smile at him, he puts a little kiss on the corner of your lips and then he takes your hand and keeps it preciously in his.

The flight went smoothly until the landing. Saying to yourself : first time in plane that’s cool !

@youbloodymadgenius @therealcalicali @saldelys @flokisdaughter @waiting4inspiration @whenimaunicorn @zuxiezendler @peaceisadirtyword @peachyboneless @honestsycrets @oddsnendsfanfics @ijustwant2write @thevikingsheaux @castielsangelsx @a-mess-of-fandoms @laketaj24 @ivarswickedqueen @hrhbella @lisinfleur @heathen-whore @car-karaoke

#ivar the boneless #modern ivar #vikings #fanfic #sexscenes #floki #Hvitserk #modern hvitserk #modern ubbe #ubbe

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