#he is so deep in denial and truly has lost his mind. that many has so much wrong with him

[prettyboykatsuki]

arthur morgan is so eldest daughter coded GOD

[foxglovebells]

Lost Star

Azriel x Rhysand!Sister Reader

Summary: Rhys’s mother and sister, Y/n, were kidnapped and murdered by Tamlin’s family centuries ago. Everyone mourned their deaths but especially Azriel. His mate’s death had changed him and he was never truly the same, he still held onto the hope that you were still alive. Turns out he was right.

Warnings: Slight mentions of torture/blood/violence

Notes: This doesn’t follow the plot of Acotar exactly, many small details are also changed. This will be the part 1 of I don’t know how long of a series yet. Ignore any typos 😬 Enjoy:)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

****************************************************

Azriel had seen and experienced a lot of violence in his life. He had felt so much pain and suffering. His wings had been shredded on multiple occasions. He had been held in a dungeon and tortured for days. He had come to deaths door step more times than he can count.

But nothing, nothing, compared to the pain of feeling his mating bond with you break. The pain of his heart collapsing as yours stopped beating. The feeling of his soul shredding and his humanity being ripped away from him. You were his everything, and you been taken from him.

Your death was the first time he had cried in centuries. Azriel and Rhys cried together, for the loss of the person they both loved the most in this world. Your beautiful soul too pure for this corrupt world.

Since that day Azriel has been in denial. He felt the bond break, he felt you die. But somehow he still felt a whisper, a small shadow of the bond still remained. The beautiful golden string gone, but as if it still lingered. Perhaps it was his minds way of coping, of giving him hope that you were still out there.

When he has told Rhys of this, he had shut him down. “You’re in denial, brother, I know it’s difficult to process, but we both felt her die, we both felt her heart stop. She’s gone.” Rhys wrapped Azriel in his arms as he cried again, and again, and one day he just stopped. Stopped feeling.

Over the decade he’s started to heal, he’s started to let himself live again, rather than burying himself in him work. But even as he did begin to heal, the whisper of your bond still never went away. His shadows were always restless when he thought of you. It was as if they were telling him that something wasn’t as it seemed. Azriel ignored them though, they mourned the loss of the bond just as much as he did.

****

The first time Azriel met Feyre and had heard that she was Tamlin’s bride he wanted to throw up. How could someone love the monster that took away his soul.

But Rhys had told him of their mating bond, and Azriel was happy for him, he was happy that Rhys would finally get to experience the greatest joy in the world. If he couldn’t be happy, he was glad that at least his brother could be.

****

“Rhys?” Feyre asked one day while they were in bed.

“Yes, darling.” He unconsciously stroked her hair.

“Who is the girl in the picture?” She asked gently while staring at the painting he had of his family hanging above the mantle. It was a painting from before he had started his high lord duties. He was still young in that picture, maybe around 16. Your mother stood behind him from where he sat on a stool, one hand was on one shoulder and the other was placed atop his father’s hand on the other. His father was standing as well, he had you propped up on one of his hips as you laid your head on his shoulder with an innocent smile. Your hair was long and black and your eyes were the same violet as Rhys’s.

He froze, his hand stilled over Feyre hair as he decided how to approach the topic. His hesitance caused Feyre to quickly tell him, “You don’t have to talk about it, I’m sorry for asking.”

“No, darling, that’s all right.” He took a deep breath. “That’s my younger sister, Y/n, Tamlin’s father murdered her and my mother a long time ago.”

“You said your father was a cruel man, he looks so happy in that.”

“He had a soft spot for Y/n, she was a daddy’s girl and could do no wrong.” He smiled fondly at the memory. “Whenever my dad was in one of his nasty moods or would push me too hard, all Y/n has to do was flash her innocent little smile at him and he would drop everything for her. I was envious of her at times, but also thankful.”

“I wish I could’ve met her.” Feyre says and looks into his eyes. She sends love and adoration down the bond and he kisses her gently in response.

“Her death hit Azriel harder than anyone.” Rhys continued.

“Harder than even you?”

Rhys nodded his head solemnly, “They were mated.”

Feyre pulls away and gasps. “They were.” Her eyes full with empathetic tears for Azriel. She knew first hand exactly what it felt like to feel the break of a mating bond. Luckily, she didn’t have to deal with it for a centuries. She couldn’t even imagine how Azriel felt, how he still feels.

“Is that why he’s so closed off.” Feyre asks as she settles back into Rhys.

“Partially, a little bit it just because that’s how he is, but it’s mostly because of her death.” He tries not to think to much about her death because it still brings him so much pain. “Feyre, Darling.”

“Yes?”

“Why did you ask now? You’ve seen that painting so many times.” Rhys asks curiously while looking at her.

“If I had known I would tell you sooner.” Feyre starts.

“Tell me what?”

“She used to appear in my dreams every night when I was in spring. I didn’t even realize it was the same girl until a couple days ago.” Feyre tells him.

“Your dreams? Will you let me see.” Rhys asks, a little bit unsure. Feyre nods and closes her eyes, trying to conjure a memory of one of the dreams.

Feyre was walking through the halls, the image hazy because it was a dream. Everything was silent except for the a banging coming from the floor.

“Help me” it was quiet the first time.

“Help me” it was louder now.

“Help me” louder, urgent.

“Help, help, help.” Pleading, begging, crying.

And then you appeared like a ghost. Your dress was bloody and ripped, the same one you’d been wearing the day you were killed. Your hair was in a matted braid and your eyes were dull and bloodshot. You were bony and deathly looking, your cheek bones were too sharp and you’re eyes too sunken.

“Help me, I’m in the—“

And then it was over, Feyre had woken up.

When Feyre opened her eyes she hadn’t expected to see tears cascading down Rhys’s face. “Oh baby, I’m sorry.”

���Feyre, this is going to sound crazy, but I think that she’s alive.” Rhys looks into her eyes and she wipes away her tears.

“I believe you.”

“I need to talk to Azriel.” He sits up and looks at her apologetically.

“Of course you do. I wouldn’t expect anything else.” He graciously pressed a kiss to her mouth before pulling on pants and rushing out of the room.

Cass, Az, Mor, Amren, office now. It’s urgent.

Rhys waits restlessly in his office leaning over a floorpan map of the spring court manor. Azriel and Cassian walk in together, both sweaty and dirty from training. Mor and Amren follow second later.

“What so urgent?” Amren breaks the silence as everyone waits for Rhys to start talking.

He doesn’t respond just yet. He just raised his head and looks directly at Azriel. Everyone can see his red rimmed eyes, proof that he had been crying.

“Rhys what’s going on.” Cassian tries to push again.

“Az,” Rhys starts lowly. Azriel look confused but there’s something it the back of his head telling him that he’s about it say something about you. “I think,” a deep breath, “I think that Y/n is alive.”

Sharp intakes of breaths are heard from each one of them. “That’s as awfully big assumption Rhys.” Cassian is the first to speak.

Rhys’s eyes are still locked on Azriel who is frozen in place, he might not be breathing. “Let me show you guys.” And so he does, Rhysand replays Feyre’s dream for all of them, holding back tears as he rewatches your face contorted with pain.

When it’s over Azriel stumbles as he falls into the nearest chair, his fingers press against his eyes as to stop to flow of tears. “I knew it,” Azriel breathes out, “I knew it and you told me I was in denial!” Azriel points an accusatory finger towards Rhys.

“Calm down, Azriel, this is just as hard for me as it is for you.” Azriel knows this, but after all the pain he’s suffered thinking you were dead has caused him to act irrationally.

“We’re going to get her, right?” Mor asks, stepping forwards to look at the map that Rhys was leaned over. “Would she be in the dungeons?”

“No.” Azriel said simply. “I’ve scoured every inch of those dungeons repeatedly with my shadows, she’s not in there.”

“Wha about if we went even lower.” Amren suggests, “Some High lords had magic shelters built even further beneath the dungeons. During the first war when none of you were alive yet, there were metals that stopped the frequency of magic. If you combine that metal with a low altitude, magic may be almost, if not completely blocked off.”

“Holy shit, Amren, I think you’re right.” Mor adds, “Gwyn was telling me of this old text in the library about ancient materials. There was a metal that blocked all physical magic and the only loophole is spiritual magic at short distances; which was probably how Y/n was able to appear in Feyre’s Dreams.”

Amren looked to Azriel, “It blocks bonds to, makes it appear as if it’s broken. That’s why you and Rhys thought you felt her die.”

“Oh, cauldron.” Cassian mutters in astonishment.

“How do we find out where it is? Everytime my shadows were down there they didn’t sense any other door.” Azriel a tried to think of any possibility that he missed something, but he couldn’t come up with any.

“Maybe the magic blocked your shadows too.” Cassian added, “if it blocks everything else there’s no reason it wouldn’t block magic shadow.”

“We have to get down there and look with our eyes, no magic will find it, that was the original purpose of why this metal was used to build rooms, it’s magically untraceable.” Amren informs.

“So we have to get Azriel in there.” Rhys says, “the next high lord conference is at the end of the week. Tamlin will be away long enough for Az to sneak in a look for any door in the dungeon.”

“What of his borders though? He’ll know when someone enters them.” Azriel tells Rhys.

“I’ll get into his head and block his conscience.”

“I don’t know if I can wait 4 days until then, Rhys.” Azriel looks at him with so much sadness in his eyes.

“I know, Az, but it’s our best shot at getting her home to us.” Rhys walks over and places a reassuring hand his shoulder.

He could do this, he waited 2 centuries already, what’s 4 more days?

[sanjisblackasswife]

okay i want your opinion: how do you think would sanji know that he fell in love for real? and zoro? i think zoro wouldn't know until someone tell him

How Sanji & Zoro Know They Fell in Love

Edit: yeah this will be considered a drabble💀

Its pathetic how much ive thought about this

Im going to give a half assed answer because im half sleep rn while working

So first off I genuinely believe how he acted towards Viola is like the closest we ever got to how he’d probably act if he were in a relationship.

And i also I think Sanji would not fully acknowledge his stronger feeling to said person until he catches his change of demeanor. Because i think he knows in the back of his mind that he does has a DEEP LOVE for women, but he isnt IN love with any of them yk? He may have thought he was with a couple women (hell i can even add Nami possibly) but those feelings subsided when he found a new woman in his path.

I believe a fine example on how he’d probably truly fall in love w a woman would be having a deep late night conversation. Mind u him and said person would have been probably friends for a cool minute, they know each other by this point. And in this conversation there is No lustful gazes, no blood, just like raw one on one time. She’s maintaining eye contact, she is patient with him as he speaks, etcetc

I do also think it would be a new feeling for him and that girl would intimidate him in a way he is more cautious with his actions around her. And im not going to say Sanji will stop bleeding and go on to have his fits with other women no but i do think when he is around the girl it’s like a switch hits.

Basically the mf turns into Mr. Prince and its hot🧍🏾‍♀️

I also believe he would ask her out eventually but it would take some mental preparation and reassurance somehow that she feels the same feelings because he has been rejected by many women but this one he just couldnt bare.

Now as for Booty Hunter Zoro..

Denial.

Denial

Denial

Absolute denial

He does not want to believe it. He cannot believe it and he wont.

Doesnt matter how much he thinks about u, is subconsciously near u, how he always have a strong urge to pull you to the side just to be alone with you. He will give every excuse in the book before he admits he is in love.

He finds no use for it, he would use excuses like “Love would slow me down” or some bs like that. But then after a few years he begins to get frustrated because now he may be wrong. He may just be wrong about not being in love

The warm feeling he has when he is in ur presence

The way how he remembers the small things about you

The way how even when he gets lost he will always happen to FIND YOU

He even picks up some of ur mannerisms and HE HATES IT SM. He may even act colder towards u for it. He doesnt mean it he is just confused on these new emotions he has never experienced and the poor idiot dont know how to express his feelings all that well so if you ask about why he has been avoiding u he will get defensive.

It doesnt diminish his feelings for u tho u just have to take ur time with him, approach him, talk to him. And if u happen to put two and two together and call him out of his BS he maybe JUST MAYBEEEE be willing to open himself up to a chance of being in love

Idk tho.🧍🏾‍♀️

Half assed answer but i hope u understand what i was trynna say

[jestersfinaljest]

Could you write for the wonderful, amazing, beautiful, silly Ace Trappola? Like him falling in love with a male reader who isn’t the prefect and is just a normal student and is totally in denial that he’s gay? (Sorry if that doesn’t make sense)

｡.｡:∞♡*♥ ︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶┊┊❁ཻུ۪۪♡ ͎. ｡˚ °

‘Okay, I’m man enough to admit when a guy is pretty, I mean, Pomefiore guys have some pretty guys, I am confident in my sexuality to admit that!’ Is what Ace kept telling himself. He had quite literally bumped into a student, just a student from another dorm, just a normal student. A totally normal student who had made his heart pound in his chest. Ever since that encounter, Ace has been out of it, making up excuses in his head, saying things to himself like, “I’m not gay, I can’t be.” or “My heart was beating like that for different reasons!” But deep down, he knew he couldn’t deny it.

The student he had bumped into had very little thoughts about the ‘incident’, sure he thought about it a couple of times, seeing the ginger’s flushed face before he ran off, leaving him slightly confused with a newfound liking. He just stood there after the ginger ran away, questioning a little bit, but nothing he wouldn’t lose sleep over.

Ace, on the other hand, lost tons of sleep, waking up from dreams of kissing or cuddling with the student. 'I don't even know his name! And now I'm having dreams about him??? This is crazy, this didn't even happen with my girlfriend in middle school!!' The more he kept denying that he may have a thing for the student he bumped into, the more the student was on his mind. He had seen him around NRC, just peacefully walking around or chatting with a friend, and every time he did he made a beeline to the opposite direction of him. Now come on, Ace thought he did a good job keeping his little problem under wraps, but it's Ace we're talking about. The ginger got distracted during so many basketball practices that it got the attention of Jamil and Floyd. They didn't bring it up, yet, but time will tell when they would. Deuce and the Prefect had brought it up though.

"I'm just saying, you seem to be pretty distracted lately, we're just concerned is all." The Prefect had told him, Deuce standing next to them nodding full heartily. "Yeah, so what's got you like this? It's weird hanging out with you when you're not so loud and annoying." His arms were crossed over his chest, continuously nodding like he was only saying good things. Grim was too distracted with eating a can of tuna Prefect had bought him from Sam's store to even care what the topic of the conversation was about.

"I'm fine! It's just.." Ace felt hesitant to tell them about the feelings he had so desperately wanted to leave. He wasn't sure how they'd take it, I mean, in an all-boys school? What if they get disgusted by him and think he's weird or gross? These are concerns he'd never think he'd have to think about. "I think I might like the guy I bumped into a week ago, okay??! And I've been stressing with these feelings because I just can't be gay, can I??" Ace felt a weight being lifted off his heart, and then a heavier one dropped down. His heart pounded with anxiety and fear at their reaction.

"Well, why not? Being gay is normal. It's not necessarily a bad thing, you know." Prefect had said something first, shrugging their shoulders. "There's probably a lot of gay people in NRC, I already have a couple of suspicions..." They trailed off, looking away to the side. Deuce, once again, nodded in agreement before stopping himself. "Yeah, that's right--What, uhh, no. Not that last part, uhm, anyway...What me and Prefect mean is that we don't mind who you like because, at the end of the day, you're still our friend!"

A truly lovely and heartwarming scene for Ace, who was given love, support, and confidence to talk to the student! After sorting out his feelings and emotions, he went out and walked around campus for a bit, searching for the student. Around ten minutes passed and he finally found him, sitting on a bench in the courtyard, on his phone. He summoned all of his courage and sat down next to him, his leg starting to bounce out of nervousness. The student had heard someone sit next to him, and by Seven, did Ace feel something when the student clearly brightened up seeing his face.

"Oh, hey! It's you, the guy who bumped into me and then ran away!" He chuckled lightly and turned his head to face Ace, who was feeling extremely jittery and suddenly a bit aware. "Ah, yeah, uhm, I'm sorry about that...I just wanted to apologize for that. I'm Ace Trappola, freshman." The student nodded, "Apologize accepted. [Name]'s the name, also freshmen." Ace felt his heart skip a beat, he finally knew his name. They both stayed silent for a while, too awkward to say anything, maybe.

After a moment or two, one of them finally spoke up, neither of them knew who said it at the time, but one of the two knuckleheads blurted out,

"I think you're pretty cute...!"

Cue matching red faces and a pair of freshmen with no clue what to do now.

______________________________________________________________

a/n: i am so sorry if this is not what you wanted, i usually work better when i have thorough details, since i always want to give the reader exactly what they want so...but thank you for requesting!! this is my first time writing for someone who isnt a friend.

[chemicallywrit]

Happy Audio Drama Sunday! What a week! Let's talk about audio drama!

⏰ Nine To Midnight has its own feed now, which I appreciate, as a listener to many of the involved pods, because I didn't get like six iterations of the show in my feed. I did have to go seek it out though, but I'm so glad I did. These stories!!! These STORIES. The second episode in particular stuck out, just banger after banger. Also, what's up David Ault! Always fun to watch David Ault flex.

😈 Dungeons and Daddies this week was on the short side, but woof. I. Love. The Stamplers. I love them. I love you Ron Stampler and Terry Jr. Stampler and Scary Terri Marlowe Stampler. They are ridiculous and excellent. Honestly though, their wonderful energy was just the prelude to the truly heartbreaking Close clan. These boys are so deep in denial they ought to be worried about the bends. Yikes. I'm really looking forward to watching them try to save hell and make up for lost time.

⚡️ Electromancy! Of COURSE it's all happening at the dance. What kind of school story would this be if everything wasn't going to go down at the dance? Like with all fantasy about young people, I love the mixture of extremely high stakes (colonialism and revolution) and extremely low stakes (but what am I going to WEAR). I can't wait for part two. @electromancypodcast

👟 Keep It Steady!!! New episode of Keep It Steady! Our teenage burnout is faced with the mortifying ordeal of having real friends who love him, which is a wild thing for a teen to have to accept when he has zero self esteem. And then on top of everything, he gets concussed! My boy! @keepitsteadypod

⚖️ The Adventure Zone Imbalance has appeared on the feed, which is a relief to me, a person who hates listening to things on youtube. And Davenport is there! My main man! If y'all need to know anything about me, it's that I love Davenport. I missed these guys so much.

🚀 Travelling Light is a new show from @monstrousproductions, and I am THRILLED. I love a travelogue, I love a character with ties to religion, I love a warm scifi show, I love a recipe. I know from their tumblr that the writer and narrator of this show is Quaker, which is a tradition I'm not very familiar with, so I'm interested to see how that perspective influences this story. It's just so NICE.

👻 I started listening to Magenta Presents this week, in an effort to listen to everything Lindsay Sharman has ever done, and this is spooky. Beth Eyre is always a treat to listen to, and Lucy Roslyn, whose work I am not familiar with, is also a fantastic actor. They have great chemistry. I love a true ghost story, and I love a protagonist who feels like she's slowly losing her mind. @longcatmedia

🪓 I've finally arrived at the bit of Woe.Begone where other actors are showing up, and surprise! It's David Ault again! He's everywhere! I haven't interacted with fans of this show, so I had no idea, and apparently fans hate his character. To be fair, I did too, but now David's here doing the voice, and it's so much WORSE. Well done, David.

🍕 I finished s1 of Gastronaut and started s2, and I find myself enamored with this guy, coming from a place of relative privilege, tearing his preconceptions apart with a fork and a knife. The writing is lush, the story is fascinating, and it really hits the spot for me of "moody thoughtful nonfiction." I love it so much. I can't believe there are only two seasons. How dare they. (I trust them though.)

🧛🏻‍♀️ Re: Dracula is done, and we have announced Carmilla! My role in Carmilla will be less than it was for Drac, but I'm still very excited to get in on making this story. It's going to be amazing.

🧟‍♂️ The Dead's second episode has appeared, and I am continually impressed with the people I work with. What a death scene from Marquis Moore! What good acting from Brandon Nguyen! They are a joy to direct.

As for me, I'm about to start getting Inn Between ready to post! Are you hype? I'm hype. If you like what I do and want to give me a hand, please check out my ko-fi!

See you next week!

[noaltbruh]

How about 🍨 and 🌺 for Narancia, Bruno, and Abbacchio, please?

Yes! More requests with them! 😊 You don't know how happy I am that you asked for these :)

🍨 Are they more chill about their relationship or a bit more possessive towards their S/O?

Uhm...Abbacchio is rather...Contradictory when it comes to this, to be honest.

This is because, like I mentioned before, he has an hard time fully accepting that he's fallen for someone, even after confessing to you for a bit, and he categorically refuses to come off as clingy or obsessive.

On the other hand...This man is deeply afraid of losing you. He's already lost someone who was dead to him, and he would never forgive himself if the same thing were to happen to you.

So, at the end of the day, he WILL be a bit possessive, but never in an explicit way. So, you may either not notice, or if you do, he'll be able to deny everything.

~~~~~~~

Something Bruno truly values in a relationship is reciprocated trust and respect. He feels safe in being your partner, as he deeply believes you'd never leave him, and he'd never leave you, so he doesn't feel the need to be obsessive over you.

Besides, he cares about group harmony, tries his best to act as a mediator and make everyone get along. He wants you to care about the ones around you too and doesn't wish to only keep you to himself, despite how tempting it may seem sometimes.

Although Bucciarati does check on you quite often, whether it's through messages or phone calls, if he gets even a minute of break from an important...Ahem, business trip. He has your safety at heart and worries about you a lot when he's far away.

He's watching over you even from a distance, and rest assured that he'll fill you with attention any time he can actually be close to you.

~~~~~~

Listen, I'm not going to deny it: Narancia is the sweetest, cutest, most affectionate boyfriend you'll ever find, but he will be very clingy and rather possessive too from time to time. He's this way without even realizing it, he just cares about you more than anything else.

Once you become part of his life, he can hardly even imagine a world that you're not in. He'll go in full ass denial if you were to brought up even the remote possibility of the two of you not being together forever.

Needless to say, it obviously comes from his trauma. This boy will do anything to see you smile, to always make sure that you're cared for and that you have some company when you're feeling down...Or you know, just in general. He just...Wants to be with you, he's being left behind and abandoned by too many people, his mind just can't stand the thought of losing you too.

If he does get a bit overbearing...Try to talk things out. Narancia will always be willing to listen, even if it may hurt at first. But at last, he'll realize that if he really wants you to be happy, you're going to need some space too.

🌺 Do they believe they deserve their S/O or sometimes feel like the latter is too good for them?

Do you really think Abbacchio thinks he deserves anything or anyone that brings him joy?

No, absolutely not.

This man genuinely does not understand why you'd ever choose to be with him. I'll tell you more, he wouldn't get why you would even just talk to him, when he specifically acts to keep everyone away and not let anyone get close.

Why do you insist in being with him so bad, no matter how much he had tried to push away, and even knowing about his self destructive habits? He thinks you deserve someone more...Functional than him, you could say.

What amazes him the most, is how you still remained by his side after eventually finding out about his past. He thought that telling you this, you would have inevitably started to see him as a horrible person...Yet you didn't.

And while he may be taken aback by this decision...Deep down, he couldn't be happier you took it.

~~~~~

I think that with Bruno such problems would hardly ever emerge. He does his hardest to be a good partner to you despite his job and considers you his equal, he thinks you're both deserving of love.

Don't take this the wrong way though, it's not that he doesn't think you're special, he really does. He just feels a very deep respect for you and is faithful you feel the same way. He's truly glad to have you by his side, but he also sees that you seem rather happy with him, so he doesn't think he needs to worry about him being "undeserving" of your love...

...Most of the time. This is because Bucciarati's heart can't help but ache every time he tells you he won't come back that night, or that he doesn't know when he'll he able to leave his office. He knows it pains you too, and this is the only time he wishes he was someone...A bit different, someone who could give you all the affection you could ever wish for.

Please, show him your patient side and that you're not mad at him, when he comes back. It'll be more enough to soothe his worries away.

~~~~~

Narancia abandonment and self-esteem issues Ghirga? Ohh boy you're in for a ride-

This boy doesn't really...Feel very deserving of love in general. He's deeply scared and scarred by negative experiences. Despite how much he doesn't want to think about it, he does live in fear of you growing tired of his presence, leaving to find someone better.

And to be honest...He wouldn't even blame you. He knows he's not as charming as Bruno, as flirty as Mista, as bright as Fugo or as tough as Abbacchio. Why would you...Why would you ever choose him? He doesn't think he has anything to offer you that you wouldn't be able to find somewhere else. He's aware that he can be childish and annoying, even if he doesn't mean to be.

Some cuddles and comfort words will be more than enough to distract him from these thought though. When you're there, he just knows that everything is okay.

[ad0rebrial]

I got an Idea: Male reader giving Travis affection and Travis just- not knowing how to react (can be romantic or platonic)

I GOT TWO REQUESTS IN ONE DAY LETS GO!!!💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

I just know that this whole thing is just going to be a trip😔🙏💜

Travis Phelps Becoming Dumbfounded When Given Affection from Male! S/O

First off, let’s start by saying that Travis is definitely not used to receiving affection. He isn’t use to any of the basics such as hugs, compliments, and other things because he’s never truly got that. He doesn’t understand himself and his feelings and he struggles when it comes to receiving or be the one initiating affection of any sort.

Let’s say that surprisingly you and Travis are kinda close. You wouldn’t say friends but most likely acquaintances (Travis has a shit ton of walls built around him so it’s best to just say that you two are acquaintances.)

Keep in mind just because you two have this sort of “relationship” doesn’t mean that he won’t act like an ass to you. If anything he isn’t full blown rude like to Sal—instead he toned it down a tad bit.

When you first do some sort of affection or at least something that’s compassionate which can be comforting him about his struggles he would slightly feel weird in a way. Again, he isn’t used to these sort of things. He’s always more used to just closing off these hidden feelings with such a tough exterior that you’re going to have to break down yourself. He may not stress over it to much but it will get him thinking about it consistently. He wouldn’t tell you this (duh) but he is grateful that you took the time to sit down with him and allow him to ramble a subtle amount about his struggles.

When he’s really in a tough, depressive state it really gets him worked up. He gets more anxious, more tempered than usual, and he’s just overall more at lost. He doesn’t know how to express his emotions in a more calming way considering the fact that he just bottles them all up into a big ball. He tends to put his anger out on you when you try to step up and help him. Remember, you have to not back down. If you really want to break this barrier he’s created around himself your going to have to be persistent in a healthy way that shows that you care about him and want to listen to what he has to say.

If you were to hug him out of the blue he would most definitely shove you away and cuss you out, no joke. But deep down he craves that kind of warmth, he wants to feel that warmth again but he’s not the one to open his mouth and straight up say it.

Giving him some sort of gift would make him confused and annoyed with you because why are you just giving him a gift out of nowhere? He would tell to fuck off and get out of his way but remember patience is key! Just keep shoving the gift his way and soon enough he’ll be sick and tired of it and actually accept it. He won’t open it in front of you or anyone though, he’ll do it in private. Upon seeing what was inside of your little gift bag he stares at it in awe. He doesn’t know his to react to something like this at all and confusion grows from within. He would scoff and roll his eyes as he shoved the item right back into its spot and shoved it in his locker. However, he will cherish it for all his life.

Of course, this all will make him have mixed feelings. He would get confused with his own feelings about you, whether it may be platonic or romantic. He just doesn’t know how to react to things in this will cause him to be in a lot of denial and confusion about getting close to you in such a way. it gets frustrated because no matter how many times he tries to push away always come right back to him with such persistence it leaves him in confusion. also be disgusted with his own self because he doesn’t know if this is right or not. But does he want to have his life? No. He wants you right here by his side because he knows that nobody else will be close to him like you are with him. he thinks it’s pathetic it’s not. He just wants somebody who has the patience and time to actually stay by his side, despite his harsh exterior around him and his personality. It makes him feel wanted and some sort of way. Travis knows that you wouldn’t ever just leave him in such a fashion knowing how you take the time and effort to make him feel like he deserves something better. He’ll also try to make an effort for you but that may not be as easy as it sounds. But always remember that patience is key. In order to get to the surface, you have to allow yourself to stay calm and be persistent. Travis isn’t an easy person to talk to but that’s only because some people don’t try. That’s okay though, cause you’ll try for him whether he tries for you or not.

I hope this was good! I really do need to start writing more about Travis. His character and background interests me so much. Thank you for requesting! ❤️❤️❤️

[oceanlix]

Day 7: Rowoon + Daddy kink

Pairing: Rowoon x female reader

Genre: Smut

Word count: 1323

Warnings: Daddy kink, dirty talk, slight degradation, orgasm denial, nipple play, slight dacryphilia, begging, slight biting, fingering

Kinktober 2022 Masterlist

Your pride always got you into all sorts of trouble, but you think the mess you’ve gotten yourself into now just has to take the cake. You ex is balls deep inside you, your fingers laced together tightly as he fucks you from below.

“Daddy,” you whimper, knowing you need more from him to come. You decide you can hate yourself for running straight into his arms later, after you’ve had the mind blowing orgasm he’s about to give you.

Seokwoo smirks, squeezing your hands with his own. The gold chain around his neck rests in a pool of sweat, his skin glistening in the low light of the room. “You love it like this, don’t you?” he sighs, grinding his hips up slowly. It ruins the momentum of your orgasm, so you cry out and try to pull your hands away from his. When that fails, you try to bounce yourself on his cock instead. But Seokwoo is too strong, so you’re left to whine in frustration.

“Poor baby,” Seokwoo teases, his strength keeping you pinned exactly where he wants you. He’s always loved seeing you turn into a desperate mess on top of him, willing to do whatever it takes to get off. Right now, it’s your punishment for thinking you can leave him; a reminder that nobody will ever fuck you this good again. That may or may not be true, but he’s letting it feed his ego for now.

“Turn over and sit on my cock,” he instructs, motioning with your interlocked hands. You’re annoyed, but you decide to listen to him because you know your orgasm depends on it. You stand up, his cock falling out of you. The emptiness is annoying for a second and then you turn around, grabbing his dick and lowering yourself back onto it. Seokwoo’s hands grab your hips and guide you, soft moans leaving your mouth as you take in his massive cock inch by inch.

“Please,” you whimper when he bottoms out and grabs your breasts in his hands. He rubs your nipples until they turn into stiff peaks, holding you tightly against his chest as he thrusts up slowly into your pussy. “Seokwoo, it hurts. I need to cum…”

“Do you think you deserve it?” he hisses into your ear, pinching one of your nipples roughly. “You can’t even remember the right name for me, Y/N.”

“Daddy,” you correct yourself, tears welling up in your eyes. You knew what you were getting yourself into when you turned up at your ex’s door tonight; he always loved to punish you, even when you were together. But you’d been here for hours already, Seokwoo taking you in so many different positions you’d lost count. And your orgasm has been ruined by him every single time, so your pussy is throbbing with need. “Please daddy, I’ll be good from now on.”

Seokwoo slides his hands down your sides to your hips. He presses kisses along your shoulder, teeth nipping at the skin every few inches. “You promise, huh?” he muses, one of his hands wandering down to your clit and rubbing it teasingly. “You won’t leave me again?”

You shake your head furiously. Now that he’s touching you where you want him most, you’ll say anything to keep Seokwoo there. Though you’re not exactly lying either.

You’d be hard pressed to admit it in any other situation, but dumping Seokwoo had not turned out to be the great decision you thought it was. For one thing, all the sex you’d had since him had left you unsatisfied, maybe even borderline irritated. Your other partners had been to scared to treat you the way you wanted to be treated in bed, too insecure to use the toys you liked to use, too vanilla to have sex the way you truly wanted.

Aside from that, you weren’t respected outside of the bedroom either. Though your partners couldn’t find the balls to smack you around during sex, they certainly had no problems with degrading you in public. They never lasted after that because you had enough self respect to not allow that treatment. Seokwoo had apparently been your perfect match, and not just in the bedroom.

“You’re zoning out,” Seokwoo reminds you suddenly, pinching your clit. Your hips jerk in surprise and you let out a mewl, your head falling back onto his shoulder. He takes the opportunity to kiss you deeply, his fingers digging into your hip so hard there will definitely be bruises tomorrow. A nice little reminder for your momentary lapse of judgment.

“You promise you’re going to stay with me this time?” he asks again, looking into your eyes. Despite the situation, you can tell he’s serious and that if you give him the wrong answer, everything will stop.

You nod anyway. “Yes, I’m not going anywhere,” you tell him. “I…I made a mistake leaving you.”

Seokwoo smiles, a genuine one for the first time since he opened his door tonight. He grabs your hips and starts a brutal pace, bouncing you on his cock so quickly that all you can do is moan loudly.

“Right there, daddy,” you gasp, clinging onto his arms so you don’t fall over. His strength would never allow it, but you need to ground yourself somehow.

“Daddy’s gonna take care of you,” he grunts, holding you close to his chest. “You’ll never leave me again when I’m done with you.”

You feel the knot in your stomach tightening, and before you can do anything else, you’re coming all over Seokwoo’s cock, your walls fluttering around him. He holds you through it, kissing your neck.

When you’re done, he pulls you off of his softening dick and lays you down on the bed, immediately wrapping his arms around your body as he presses up against your back. “What about you?” you murmur, too tired to do much but still able to feel his hard length brushing up against your ass.

“Later,” he assures you, kissing the spot behind your ear. Seokwoo’s hands gently rub all over your body, making you shiver and sigh as you relax into his touch.

“This doesn’t feel like later,” you laugh breathlessly when his fingers dip into your folds a few minutes later. Seokwoo swings his leg over you and smirks, rubbing his tip along your entrance teasingly.

“I’ve got a lot of time to make up for,” he says, pushing inside you again. You grab at his broad shoulders, your walls still sensitive from your earlier orgasm. The pace is much slower this time, but feeling him moving inside you turns you on so much that your orgasm builds quicker than before.

“Daddy,” you gasp. “Right there! Feels so good, don’t stop! Please don’t stop.”

Seokwoo kisses you deeply, his hand sliding between your bodies to rub circles over your clit. You start shaking from the pleasure, moaning as you hold onto his shoulders for dear life. His thrusts get sloppy as he reaches his orgasm, his hot cum filling you up. It sends you into your own release, your walls milking out what’s left from him.

Spent, the two of you roll onto your backs, looking at the ceiling. You wonder about where to go from here, but Seokwoo gently laces your fingers together and you turn to look at him.

“I really did miss you,” he says. “Not just the sex, either.”

You can’t help but laugh at that, though you feel the same. “I know what you mean, Seokwoo,” you agree. “We were good together and I stupidly threw it away.”

Your ex looks at you with his big brown eyes, and it’s so intense you have to divert your gaze after a few moments. It’s another few beats of silence before he speaks up, surprising you. “We could always try again, couldn’t we?”

You’re not sure if it’s a good idea, but you want to try.

[intimidating-fettuccine]

Ticci toby dealing with the 5 stages of grief

I will place a content warning on this one, there are mentions of Toby harming himself in this one. This occurs in the anger section, towards the end, and is not described in great detail, but mentioned.

Denial:

Toby practically doesn't even have a denial stage from how much pain and realization he's going through. He died the moment you died, he cried as you cried, he swore he could practically feel the pain you were feeling despite his physical incapability to do so. Toby crashed the moment you left the world, and the instability you'd helped him decrease had shot back up as he no longer has you to help him control his emotions and mood swings. Toby has no state of shock, but rather, one quick emotional eruption of pain. 

Anger:

His anger stage is incredibly strong and toxic. Toby had always had anger issues, had always had mental and emotional instability, but you were the thing that always grounded him, the person that could get him to relax back down and center himself. Without you... He's constantly going off, constantly yelling, screaming, throwing fits, hitting, and scratching, and the other residents don't know what to do. Sure, Toby wasn't always bubbly and excited, but it seems that now all light and happiness has vanished from him and turned into deep, bitter anger. It's going to take a long, long time for him to get out of his anger stage. He's just going to have to keep pumping out all of his anger and negative emotions until nothing is left inside of him until he's tired of bruising his fists, tired of cutting unfeeling marks into himself, tired of clawing at reddened skin, tired of streaking bloody paths into himself. Toby copes with his anger by hurting himself and those around him.

Bargaining:

Bargaining comes very soon after his flames of anger have finally burned out. It's Tim and Slender that he clings to most during this time. Tim and Slender were the two consistently there for him through his anger phase, never leaving him truly alone no matter how many times he would hit them or yell at them, and so of course, it's them that he leans on in this phase. They help him process his trauma, his anger, and his sadness. They talk with him, hold him, comfort him, and give him whatever it is he needs as he settles back into a somewhat stable sense of mind. He's mostly emotionless and tired during this phase, just drifting along with whatever they say and trying to get back into a healthy lifestyle. 

Depression:

Depression comes into play somewhere around the middle of his bargaining phase but hits full force shortly after it ends. He's tired, and he's utterly depressed and empty. Toby spends a lot of this time trying to make up for the way he behaved during his anger stage. Fixing and replacing broken items around the house, apologizing over and over again to those he hurt, doing favors, and trying to make it up to everyone, although for the most part, they all understand and don't hold it against him. He drifts along, finding a sort of dull contentedness in being welcomed back into the arms of the ones he had spent so long pushing away. After everything else he's been through, Toby finds this stage to be the easiest to cope with and move through. 

Acceptance:

Acceptance for Toby happens fairly smoothly. In his mind, it's like he's been underwater, lost in an ocean amidst a torrential storm, eyes clenched shut, hiding himself away. However, after all the help, all of the effort to better himself, and all of the comfort from his loved ones sinking over him, one day he peeks his eyes open, slowly, hesitantly, and the ocean that was once drowning him and storming is calm. He opens his eyes, and he's surrounded by clear, calm water, and as he pushes his head above the surface to a sunny sky, he feels as though he can breathe again, no longer drowning amongst the storms. You were his sunny sky, and now, as he thinks fondly back on you, he feels as though you're still out there, telling him everything will be okay, that he'll make it through. He decides that for you, he'll try.

[canyouheatmeuponafrozennight]

Watched: Kamen Rider Faiz Paradise Regained

"What is the answer?" "The answer... is to keep asking that question." "Are you trying to play it off?" "I am"

A shallow, awkward, pointless, meaningless, weightless movie, which raises the question if they even still knew what Faiz was as they made it. (namely, Faiz itself fell off halfway through, but instead of trying to save face after that, it only sunk itself deeper)

None of the characters in this movie have a role, but let's start by talking about Kamen Rider Muse. At first her "don't look, that's so embarassing" gimmick made no sense to me, but after a while I figured it was meant to be an Eve imagery, the shame of being naked, and later she regains Paradise, no longer feeling shame of baring herself. Which makes absolutely no sense in multiple layers. First and foremost, she isn't naked, she isn't getting naked, she's going from dressed to armored. To make this symbolism? metaphor? work, what needed to be done was either the henshin actually ripping her clothes off, or the inverse, she feels shame of being untransformed. She arrives on the battlefield transformed, and at the end of battle de-transforms and runs away embarassed because she wants not to be seen as anything other than KR Muse. And once she regains her Paradise, she doesn't run away or shows her face without thinking anything of it. And why did she regain Paradise even? Offering Mari to Smartbrain made her obtain "God's forgiveness"? It might be pointless to even try to think about it, as I think most of this movie's beats were made on a whim, not with a purpose.

Paradise Lost, while still barebones, constructed a barely passable Adam in Takumi, but Paradise Regained had a void. He says so many empty lines that try to sound deep or philosophical that one would think he is pre-Loss Adam though, as there's not a drop of knowledge in him. Is Takumi being a husk of his former self, not the guardian of dreams or a fighter with any reason, meant to represent Adam's ignorance pre-loss? Which is a complete denial of his story in the show, and thus makes the fact this is a sequel pointless? And if you think about it, Orphenochs are a new humankind, yes, but there's so many of them and they reproduce by killing humans, why are we making Takumi an Adam and Muse/Mari his Eves? (Paradise Lost used the Adam/Eve images very well, its final scene being truly worth of the title) Muse has no backstory, no reason to her love for Takumi, she simply enters the story, says she loves him and dies. If that's the use for the character, it could simply be written so: She was created to be his partner, being conditioned to be obsessed with him. Then in reality she was just there to watch him not step out of line and deal with it accordingly if he ever showed signs of no longer wanting to be SB's dog, but when it happens, she's grown too affectionate to eliminate him and lets him go. Not anything ground breaking or amazing, but at least would make her story have a drop of sense, there'd be some writing to it, not just hollow loose statements disguised as a character.

Onto the other Eve, why is Mari suddenly Takumi's love interest? What was great about Faiz (to me) was that they never had anything going on. Takumi protected her, meddled a little with her love affairs, but was never part of it himself. Why do they have Orphnoch sex? Whose fetish was it to have two monster suits making out? SHOW YOURSELF Takumi isn't the guardian of dreams, is in love with Mari, doesn't have a single thought in his mind, did someone write this movie after watching one episode of Faiz or reading a series summary? Also I hate how they turn letting someone blow his food into a love language, feels even worse now that he's this old. 50yo man gets his gf to blow his food because he's too sensitive DELETE THIS MOVIE NOW ⚡️⚡️⚡️ I SAY IT WITH 100% 1000%

EXTRAS

oh kusaka is in this movie too but it's so stupid and forced that it's obvious they just wanted to sell a new Kaixa toy and have some "i clapped because i know that" when Kusaka smiles funny. He has no arc no role and no point in this movie, an insult to all Kusaka stands for (nothing but respect for my main villain that happens to be a kamen rider). Writing room must hate him, because neither movies or show bothered to treat him with respect when he carries the show. I don't think I need to say it, but the "twist" is braindead. No excuses.

The new characters are even more worthless and pointless than him, doing nothing for the story and being ugly suits. My favorite thing about Faiz was how every orphnoch was beautifully designed and looked great, that original designer probably wasn't available or might not be alive anymore, so they hired someone who does modern suits and we got those awfully ugly orphnochs.

RATING

0.5/10 because I liked listening to Justifaiz, but I think it should have played when he transformed using the original Faiz Gear, not a few minutes later when the final battle starts.

[wallflowerimagines]

Hello! Um... I don’t really know how to start this but say I love your hc! I think you do a fantastic job on them, there all very sweet but being the s.o.b I am I’m here to ask for some angst. How would you think the lords act if their S/O died?

...I'm feeling mean. 😈

Warnings: Angst, Death, Horror Game villains making bad decisions/not coping with tragedy, suicide.

Alcina Dimitrescu

Denial, Denial, Denial

You can't be dead. There has to be something, anything that she can do to save you. Alcina scrambles for a solution, attacking the problem from all sides, despite the reality of the situation staring her in the face.

Immediately injects your body with Cadou in a desperate hope to save you. Any possible chance that he has to save you she's going to take it.

It's not likely that your corpse reanimates, but it does mutate. At the end of the process, what's left of your body hardly even looks like you anymore, and she can't bring herself to look at it.

She builds a gilded crypt for your body-- it's stunning. It's inspired by you, all your favorite colors, styles and hobbies are incorporate to make the room feel full of your spirit. Alcina is an artistic woman, and she throws herself into the project like she's possessed.

It might take years, even decades to complete. It has to be perfect. When it's done she feels accomplished, but twice as empty. It might be one of the most beautiful dedications she's ever made, but it can't replace you. She has the room sealed off with no way to get to it, so she can't be tempted to visit. She just needs a piece of of you still in her home, or she can't get through the day.

...If your corpse does reanimate, it's actually worse for Alcina. Whatever she brought back was a shambling, horrifying mess of mold wearing your face. It couldn't think for itself, or even follow commands--it just wanders in circles and attacks anything that gets too close.

She keeps your reanimated corpse in a cell, unable to bring herself to destroy it completely. Sometimes, she'll go down to the basement and talk to the thing like it is you, telling it about her day, having one-sided conversations and thinking of all the wonderful memories the two of you shared.

When its dead eyes meet hers, her lungs seize in her chest and tears gather in her eyes. Alcina doesn't cry often, but when your corpse meets her gaze she starts to sob. Those eyes used to look at her with life and love and now...

Still, she can't stop herself from visiting it. It's a compulsion she can't stop, and it tears open the wound every time, but some irrational part of her deep, deep down thinks that one day, she'll descend those steps and you'll be there to greet her with a warm smile.

In either scenario, she will never have another partner. You're impossible to replace, and she feels truly, genuinely empty without you. Rest well, Darling. You'll never be forgotten.

Donna Beneviento

There is such a thing as a last straw, and this is it for Donna.

Please remember: this is a woman who has lost everything. Mother Miranda might have given her a new "family", but Donna is not nearly as attached to these new members as she is to her original family. And the loss of her original family has shaped her in such a way that if you died? She would be absolutely devastated.

It's not fair to put this kind of pressure on you, but in a very real way you were her last hope for normalcy. She had all these plans to fix her family with you. You were so instrumental to her hopes for the future that now that you're gone, it feels like she has no hope at all. You were her missing link, her one true love, and now that you're dead...

Donna screams until her throat is raw when she finds out you're gone. Angie can't help her, nothing can. She just can't cope with reality anymore.

She'll build a life sized Doll of you to try to help herself cope, but the minute she tries to implant of piece of her Cadou in it, she is filled with such a vehement hatred of the thing that she starts scream-crying before she takes an axe to it's face and hacks it to pieces. How dare it pretend to be you?!! It's not even close to the real thing, she shouldn't even have tried--

She might try to induce a hallucination of you to help her get through the day to day, but it's not the same. She can't perfectly mimic your laugh, or your smile, or the way you tuck her hair away from her face. It's so obviously not you, and Donna is... alone.

I do hate to say it, but she will absolutely try to kill herself if you died. You were the one person who understood her, empathized with her, and you were her best friend. You were her support system, the one person who could carry her through the worst times in her life, but you're gone. Donna can't believe that anyone else could be there for her like you were.

Salvatore Moreau

Absolutely, irreparably broken.

When the two of you were in a relationship, you busied yourself not only with smothering Salvatore in all of the love and affection that you could, but you also did a lot to help his self-esteem and mental health.

You made sure he knew that he was loved, that you could never hate him, and even on your death bed you make him promise never to forget how wonderful he is.

Once you're gone, though, Salvatore cracks.

He clings to every bit of you felt behind. All of your jewelry, clothing, pictures and sentimental items are preserved to the best of his ability. Your living space is transformed into a shrine dedicated to you.

It's not healthy, but he also deifies you in his memory. Mother Miranda is no longer the only person that he worships-- the memory of you is now sacred to him. You become something holy and perfect in his mind's eye. It doesn't matter how many flaws you had in reality, your death has turned even your worst flaws into traits to be admired and praised. His perception of you is totally twisted.

Speaking of Mother Miranda, he regresses a lot. His adoration of Mother Miranda was something you were helping him work through, but now he's right back at square one, and even worse off than before.

Moreau can't make a decision on his own anymore--from what to say, to what to do, and sometimes even what to eat. After all, it's his fault that you died, isn't it? You were his partner and he used to be is a doctor. How could he possibly trust himself with anything when he couldn't manage to save the most important thing in his life?

To the rest of his family, he's more pathetic than before. His obsession with his Mother was usually limited to when she was in the room, but now it's constant.

If he ever hears the quote "It's better to have loved and lost, then never loved at all," he gets supremely, violently angry. No. No, that's not true, it's bullshit, how dare you even say that to his face.

If he hadn't loved you, you would be alive. He would be alone, but you would be safe. You would be happy.

Now he's alone, and all you are is dead. He can't ever come back from it.

Karl Heisenberg

Rage. Unending, earth shattering Rage.

Whatever killed you better start to fucking pray, because Karl Heisenberg will not quit until it's suffering.

He doesn't kill who or whatever it was. He let's it sit there, mangled beyond belief, and uses his knowledge of mechanics and biology to keep it alive in constant, unending pain.

It's cathartic for him, but not in a healthy way. The more he hurts it, the better he feels, but at the end of the day, you're still gone, and he's still alone.

He's... lost.

Heisenberg should be angry, fuck he wants to be angry more than anything, but the longer he keeps the thing alive... emotions seem like they're too far away anymore. He wants to scream, he wants to cry, he wants... you.

He keeps something of yours in his pocket at all times, just to run his fingers over it and remember you. Your eyes, your laugh, your smile... It's almost like a stress ball, and these days sticking his hand into his pocket to wrap his fingers around the thing is the only way he can calm down.

Sometimes he turns to ask your opinion on something, or tell you a joke with a big smile on his face because this one is going to make you laugh for sure-- and then he freezes when the reality sets in once again. You're not here.

Remember, Heisenberg has idealized the two of you as this perfect partnership. You were the first person who looked at him and loved everything that you saw. You weren't just his first real relationship, the first person that he implicitly trusted, but you were also his very first real friend.

He wasn't the most friendly person to begin with, but he did get better because of you. He was still spoiled, a little socially awkward, and maybe his dark sense of humor would slip and get a little too much, but he grew as a person.

Now that you're gone, he can't even remember what it's like not being a cruel, empty shell of rage. All he has left is his hatred of Mother Miranda.

After a while, it doesn't matter if he's ready to take her on or not. He's going to face that bitch head on and kill her, or die trying.

If he wins, he's finally free. If he doesn't... that's not so bad either. Karl doesn't really believe in an afterlife, but there's something appealing about joining you wherever you might be.

[holypapaya]

Peaches (Konro Sagamiya x Reader NSFW 18+)

Fem! Reader

Konro and his girlfriend run home to escape the rain. When they decide to eat sweet peaches as a snack.

Warnings: age gap, denial, rough sex, oral play, begging 

Skip to ** for sexy time. 2,000+ words. 

________

God, how is she so beautiful? And, how in the hell didn't I notice her before? 

These were the two questions Konro would ask himself repeatedly whenever he took Y/N out on their weekly dates. Unfortunately, the morning was a sweltering and humid day that overwhelmed the Great Tokyo Empire. Konro suggested that they have their date later in the evening to avoid the rain and the burning hot sun. Y/N's clothes hugged her glamorous curves as her skin glistened from a thin veil of sweat. The lantern lights that hugged the walls to local businesses created a soft glow.

Staring at her in awe was not a part of the plan. Well, none of this was a part of any plan, actually. Not even his life plan. They've been dating for a little over a month since Konro first met Y/N. His typical routine trip was to see Seamstress Granny to fix any rips in his uniform. That day he tore his pants while rebuilding Asakusa after the most recent Infernal attack. With his uniform in hand, he walked through the door, the bell ringing as it slid open. Just as he was about to call the elderly woman, he noticed the most beautiful, enchanting woman he’d ever laid eyes on. Konro was so stunned by her beauty that he didn't hear her greet him or ask what he needed to be done. Since then, he’s gotten to know Y/N well over time.

Before running her Granny's store full time, Y/N would visit Asakusa three times a week to help around. That’s why Konro found it unbelievable that he never noticed her before. Honestly, it was probably because of the increase of Infernal activity, but that was no excuse in his mind. Y/N stood slightly taller than most women in the empire and was curvier than other women too. Her full breasts always pulling at her shirt and plump ass tight, giving a slight jiggle as she walked. Despite all of this, Konro still towered over her. Don't misunderstand this, though; he is dating her not for her body but because he earnestly enjoys Y/N's company. Y/N made him feel things he hadn't felt in years or even within his lifetime.

Y/N's thumb gently rubbed the back of his bandaged hand as they held hands while walking down the street. Y/N was smiling greatly as she continued to talk. Konro wasn’t exactly the talkative type, so hearing Y/N talk brought him immense joy. The self-proclaimed hermit has found a friendly, outgoing puppy to love day in and out. Being with Y/N even made Konro feel young again. He's heard that having a significantly younger girlfriend can change a man's energy levels, but Konro didn't expect to feel this young. Especially his sex drive.

Being overwhelmed with work duties almost made him forget what a sex life was. Work. Eat. Sleep. Repeat. This was his routine for many years. However, when he was younger, Konro always managed to find time to "express his sexual desires" is a polite way of saying it. In other words, straight-up fucking. But as the years flew by and seeing Benimaru become captain of the 7th, Konro had more distractions, to say the least. With Y/N, it was different, though. She sparked something deep inside of him. In his many years of life, Konro never had the animalistic urge to make a woman cry, scream and mess them up during sex as much as Y/N.  He almost had the chance too. Almost.

Last week, Y/N and Konro decided to go back to base for some privacy. During that time of day, mostly, everyone would be out making rounds or going out to eat, so it seemed like the perfect time. Right in front of him, Y/N laid bare. Her head bobbing up and down his shaft, her right hand moving in sync with her head, her left hand gently caressing his hip. Konro's deep blue eyes stared at Y/N, hypnotized by her beauty. Carefully, he placed his hand on the back of her head, adding a slight pressure, silently asking her to deep throat him. Which she happily obliged. That's when he heard it -the Infernal alarm. Y/N's eyes grew wide as she met Konro's. She released his now soft dick from her mouth as she watched Konro get up and hurriedly dressed himself.

It's only been a week since they've last had time for each other. Yes, they would greet each other outside or maybe have a small lunch if they had the time. But, they were never truly alone, just two people immersed in a chaotic world. Konro couldn't help but think  about if he would ever get a chance to redeem himself. He could kill a man at this point to see Y/N's lush body naked in front of him again.

Y/N let out a sound of confusion, "Konro, I think it's going to start raining," she looked up at the sky after feeling something damp hit her face.

"Hmmm," he mused, still lost in his train of thought.

That's when he felt it. A sudden shower washed over the both of them. Y/N pulled Konro by his arm, leading him down a side street. 'Let's go back to my place,' she called back behind her. Konro followed her, watching droplets run down her soft skin.

'Please, one more chance,' Konro chanted in his head all the way to her apartment. As they entered the one-bedroom, Y/N handed Konro a fresh towel. Then, she walked over to the refrigerator, asking her boyfriend if he liked peaches.

** "Yeah," he said, watching her pull out the fruit and a knife to cut it. Y/N cut the delicate fruit in half, pitting it, and proceeded to slice it. With every movement, her hair stuck to her neck and shoulders. Konro walked over to Y/N, pushing her damp hair to her shoulder, exposing her neck and collar bone. His calloused fingers massaged between her shoulder and neck. He saw goosebumps wash over her skin and grinned to himself. Leaning forward, Konro kissed Y/N's jaw and noticed a slight coat of pink on her cheeks. Y/N pushed a peach slice towards his lips. As Konro was just about to take a bite, Y/N took it back and put half of it in her mouth. She looked up at the older man with what he thought was a look of innocence and lustful hunger.  Y/N offered the other half of the peach that was sticking out of her mouth. With his large hand, Konro tilted her jaw up and took in the fruit.

On Y/N's bed, Konro propped himself up on his forearms to make sure not to put his total weight on Y/N. She laid beneath him in nothing but her bra and underwear. Konro was already halfway undressed with only his pants remaining. They kissed each other for a long time. While feeling his tongue slowly go in and out of Y/N's mouth, Konro imagined his cock doing the same thing inside of her. Konro continued to grind his hard cock into Y/N’s clad pussy.

Y/N let a long feminine sigh followed by a moan, feeling pressure onto her wet lips. She gently ran her nails down his abdomen, feeling his chiseled abs, before finally reaching his belt. She pulled at the material, hoping to touch his dick directly. Just the thought about touching it again caused her pussy to throb with excitement. Konro released her mouth from his and grunted in her ear,

"Not yet, baby," Konro nibbled on her earlobe, "Just wait a little longer. I'll treat you just as good as you treated me last time".

Konro moved Y/N's bra strap down her shoulder to have access to her collarbone. Then he nibbled and sucked until he left a light mark on her skin. Konro snaked his arm behind her back, unclasping her bra. Removing the material, he threw it onto the floor. Konro grabbed one of Y/N's full tits in his hand, gently but firmly. He flicked her nipple with his tongue, causing Y/N to inhale sharply. Frustratingly slow, Konro then started to suck her nipple, flicking it now and then. Y/N whined in frustration how Konro was still dressed.

He released her nipple, and while undoing his pants with one hand, he still massaged her tit with his other. Konro smiled down at Y/N almost wickedly as he watched her flushed face looked directly at his crotch. He kicked off his pants with one swift movement and found his way to Y/N's underwear, taking it off. Konro pulled down the thin material, excitement further boiling in him, realizing how wet Y/N was. She wasn't just wet but soaked. While kneeling, Konro grabbed her slender ankles, bringing her legs over his shoulder. Y/N's glistening lips in direct view of his face, and of course, his mouth. With a big lap of his tongue, Konro tasted Y/N's pussy greedily. He wasn't just licking her but also sucking on her drenched lips and swollen cit. Slurping and sloshing filled the room.

Y/N stared at Konro hazily, pleasure surging through her distracting her from any thought. She gripped her sheets tightly as her moans echoed. Seeing her boyfriend liked this not only made her feel wanted but happy. Konro has always been a very giving man. He gave up everything for Asakusa and Benimaru. So when the demon Infernal came, Konro didn't have to fight it alone. Instead, he chose to, for a simple but heroic cause. To protect the people he cared for. So seeing him eating her out hungrily and groping her body greedily made Y/N realize that Konro could express what he truly desired. He could tell her what he wanted and how he wanted it openly. Of course, in Konro's mind, he was primarily doing this to pleasure Y/N, but Y/N enjoyed seeing a different side of him.

Taking one last swipe at her clit, Konro lowered her legs, peering at his lover. A deep shudder swept across his body as he saw Y/N's face. Her cheeks flushed pink, lips slightly parted as her eyes stared at him dreamily—her chest lifting with every breath she took. Y/N looked absolutely decadent. However, she wasn't ready yet. Only eating her out wasn't going to be enough to stretch her for the pounding of her lifetime. Again, he grasped her lips with his own, tongue snaking into her mouth. Y/N let out a feminine sigh as her eyes fluttered shut as she was engulfed with pleasure. Her arms found their way around his neck, holding his closer. Carefully, he lowered his weight onto Y/N, causing her to open her legs further.

One hand trailed down her abdomen, finding its way to Y/N's sweet drenched hole. He flicked her inner lips teasingly before sticking one digit in. Next, he curled his finger upward, finding her g-spot. Y/N ended to kiss to arch her back in pleasure. Konro chuckled at her reaction, slowly rubbing the inside of her pussy.

"Just a little longer, baby. I need to open you up cause you're so tight."

He inserted another finger. He spread the two as far as they could, expanding her walls. Then he would bring them back together rubbing the top of her velvety walls. This went on in a pattern, almost like he was massaging the inside of her pussy. His rough fingers thick fingers felt so right inside of her. But there was something else that she needed with urgency. Something else belonged inside of her. Y/N grabbed his thick biceps, her head turning to the side. She bit her lip, begging Konro.

"Kon, please, please-"

He ignored her pleas, "Are you gonna coat my dick with your cum like you're doing with my fingers," he felt her walls tighten around him.

"Yes, I wanna cover your dick with my cum. Please", Y/N cried.

"Say my name, the way I like it."

God, he's so cute, Y/N thought to herself.

Looking at Konro softly, she said, "Kon-Kon."

Konro smiled with satisfaction removing his fingers.

He wrapped Y/N's thighs around his waist as he watched her quiver. Cock in hand, he rubbed the tip along her slit. Y/N's juices slicking his thick tip as pre-cum drooled out of Konro. Then he gently pushed his cock into her slowly as her walls stretched around him. Konro tilted his head back, moaning, feeling Y/N's velvety warmth grip around his pulsating member. Then, as Y/N let out a cry of pleasure, Konro stayed still just for a moment, letting Y/N get used to his length.

 Gently, he caressed Y/N's face with his large hand, cupping her cheek. Konro rubbed her lower lip with his thumb. 

"See, baby," he practically purred, "You're so wet you took me in one thrust." 

Konro shallowly thrusted into Y/N's tight pussy wanting to see her reaction. Y/N rubbed her cheek into his palm, letting out a soft moan. To Konro's surprise, Y/N opened her mouth slightly, inviting his thumb inside. Then, she gently sucked. Konro took in a sharp breath, feeling his cock twitch with excitement. His Y/N was always full of fun surprises.                  

 Y/N released his thumb, eyes glazed with sexual desire, "Kon-Kon, I'm ready."

Say no more.

Konro pulled his cock out before slamming back into her. Y/N dug her nails into his back as her eyes widen with surprise. She felt a knot in her stomach as her pussy clench down on his thick cock. She couldn’t hold back her voice anymore. A load cry escaped her lips. Konro looked his lover with a sensual but firm gaze. He was in complete control. He was the dominant one. Each thrust reached further and further back to her cervix. 

Y/N’s loud moans matched the rhythm of each thrust, echoing in the small apartment. Her pussy aching in the most pleasurable ways. She moved her head to side as Y/N felt her body heat up further. Konro gently cupped her cheek again, turning her gaze over to his. 

“Look at me, baby.” 

Oh no. That was a fatal mistake. 

Y/N felt her pussy clench as Konro’s deep blue eyes met hers. The slight curve of his dick ran over her G-spot mercilessly. His body warm, skin soft, muscles tensed. How did Konro go untouched for so long? There had to of been someone in the whole empire that tried to sleep with him. It’s unbelievable that no one had tried.

Y/N gently wrapped her arms of Konro’s thick neck, bringing him closer.

“Kon-Kon. Hold. Me. More. Go. Deeper. Please”, Y/N moaned between each thrust.

Konro smiled, kissing Y/N’s forehead. How could he say no to such a cutie. She even said ‘please’. Konro wrapped one arm around Y/N’s mid back, clutching her body to his. As his thrusts became deeper and wilder, Konro cooed soft nothings into Y/N’s ear as her pussy tightened and her moans grew louder and louder. Then her body grew tense, a small gasp leaving her lips. Y/N’s urgent moans came to a stop. Konro felt the wet walls that cloak his cock spasm as his girlfriend’s body arched up. Y/N dug her face into Konro’s shoulder, orgasm ripping through her body. 

Swiftly Konro removed his dick to coat Y/N’s soft abdomen with his cum. He placed soft kisses all over Y/N’s flushed face, asking her if she was okay. Konro knew he wasn’t a small man, both in height and cock-wise. He cared about the well-being of his little puppy. Y/N ran her fingers through his jostled hair as she kissed his neck. 

“You can go rougher, you know.”

Konro smiled. Noted: can go rougher next time.    

[rocorambles]

Beginning of Forever

Pairing: Iwaizumi x Reader x Oikawa

Genre/Warnings: Yandere, NSFW, Greek Mythology AU, Poseidon!Iwaizumi, Zeus!Oikawa, Kidnapping, Non-Con/Rape, Non-Con Drugging, Attempted Suicide

Summary: You learn the consequences of rejecting a god.

It only makes sense that when the two gods meet, they meet on Earth, the middle ground between the sky and the sea. A neutral space where they can throw off the responsibilities and weight of being Zeus and Poseidon. A free for all zone where they can pretend to be as human as they possibly can, donning the names Oikawa and Iwaizumi as they challenge each other, seeing who can seduce more mortals, indulging in carnal pleasure.

The competition is always stiff between the two of them, equally overwhelming crowds naturally flocking towards the two men. They never can decide on a clear winner in the writhing, moaning mess of naked bodies sprawled across their hotel room. Counting is the last thing on their minds as they toy with mortals, bringing them to delirious levels of pleasure unlike anything they’ve felt before. The details don’t seem important as they stick their cocks in the countless warm holes aching for them. And as they finally sit back and relax, watching as a few insatiable lustful humans go at it with each other while the others slump in exhausted post-coital bliss around them, Iwaizumi and Oikawa smirk at each other.

Another successful conquest. Just more proof of where humans are on the totem pole compared to gods like them. Mere playthings for them to have fun with.

So imagine their shock and annoyance when they meet you on their latest venture to the mortal world and you don’t spare either of them even a second glance, eyes brushing past their figures blankly before you turn to a bartender and order a drink, back turned to them as you walk away.

Maybe you just don’t appreciate the already swarming crowd forming around them. Maybe you think that they wouldn’t spare you a glance when they already have so many people vying for their attention.

They take pity on you, going out of their way to make the first move, approaching you, gracing you with their full attention.

So imagine the fury in chocolate brown eyes, the hardened edge in green eyes, when you brusquely wave them away from you as if they’re nothing but annoying bugs flitting around you.

The. Fucking. Audacity.

Neither god has ever been completely graceful about being denied, rejected, or told no, even if it came from another deity. So to come from a worthless mortal, a speck of dust in their lengthy existence? Unacceptable.

The gods always get their way.

You learn that the hard way when your surroundings suddenly change, the background noises of music, voices, and glasses fading to nothing, the dark ambiance replaced by pristine white and blues, shimmering seashells and pearls, and the crowd around you gone, leaving only two familiar faces left staring back at you.

Your first guess is drugs and you curse yourself, fear building inside of you as you try and think back on when someone could have possibly slipped something in one of your drinks. Anxiety has you scrambling away from the two men who just impassively continue observing you, green eyes curious, brown eyes amused. And even as you turn around and race away from them as fast as your shaky legs can take you, you can feel those burning eyes on you, waiting, watching.

You almost sob in relief when you see a doorway ahead of you, praying that despite the hallucinatory imagery swirling around you that this is real, that you’ve found your escape. And you prepare your lungs, ready to scream for help the second you step outside. But as you open your mouth the same time the door flings open wide, water crashes around you, overflowing all your open orifices, soaking you, drowning you, until you feel nothing except the accelerating drum of your frenzied heart.

All you can think as your vision goes dark is that this feels all too vivid, all too real.

Dazzling white blinds you as your eyelids flutter open and you wonder if this is heaven, if you’ve passed on. If only you knew how wrong and right you are. Not that the knowledge will do you much good, as Oikawa is eager to show you. Iwaizumi snorts at how Zeus radiates with dark glee, handsome face twisting in something cruel as he revels in your almost tangible fear that permeates in the air when he reveals exactly who they are and the consequences of your disrespect. He’ll never fully understand his fellow god’s obsession with these silly mental and emotional games, but he can be patient and let Oikawa have his fun before they both indulge in you.

After all, meat is always so succulent after being tenderized and marinated.

Oikawa’s always loved the surge of power he feels at being the reason a sweet little thing’s heart races, pupils blown wide in fear, sparkling watery gems forming in eye ducts. And all this just from revealing his name. Zeus. It’s not the joyous worship he’s used to from the old world, but there’s a certain reverence in the way his title incites recognition in you, the way he sees an unbeliever like you finally forced to faith.

He’s not as much of a fan of the way you still shy from him, hands futilely trying to keep him at arms length from you as he insistently approaches you. But he understands. You’re scared. You don’t know how to worship and love him yet. You’re still a new believer.

So it’s up to him to guide you.

You’re not the first terrified and reluctant follower he’s met and Iwaizumi watches in appreciation as Oikawa uses a blend of force and sway to have you bend to his ways. It’s always fascinating to see how pleasure and fear intertwine and mingle in humans and Iwaizumi can feel his arousal grow as you can’t stop the litany of moans forced from your mouth, can’t stop the sticky river beginning to trickle from between your legs despite the way you cry and beg to be released.

Humans really are such simple creatures so vulnerable to their base desires. Even cornered and hopeless, you writhe and wantonly groan as Oikawa’s mouth and hands thoroughly touch every part of you, back arching and eyes rolling back when his cock easily slips inside your drenched cunt. You don’t want to feel good. You shouldn’t feel good. Yet you can feel a familiar coil tightening inside of you with every slide of his shaft against your walls and when he forces you to gaze into those hungry eyes and orders you to cum, you obey.

You’re so malleable, so well-behaved, by the time Iwaizumi finally has his way with you. It’s hard to believe you’re the same arrogant woman who dared to turn them away when you easily let him spread your legs, not even bothering to hide how lost in pleasure and desire you are, clenching around his cock and begging for more, more, more. And Iwaizumi almost feels a pang of regret, wishing you had a bit more fight and resistance left in you, not as into the mindless sex doll appeal Oikawa enjoys.

But he’s not disappointed when the haze of sex fades and the fire returns to your eyes, fueled even more by disgust at yourself and them for the night of decadence. And he laughs when you lash out at them, vicious scathing words dripping like venom from your lips, claws sharpened and ready to strike. It’s his turn to break you apart and he relishes in the way your nails painfully attempt to pierce his skin, the way your eyes glow in their rage.

He’s not Oikawa and you learn that the hard way. He knows what this is. He’s not arrogant enough to believe you truly want this, that you’ll ever want this. But he doesn’t care. If anything it only excites him more, the way you ferociously fight him. And he grunts in pleasure as he pins you from behind, forcing your head into the ground as he thrusts into your raised and exposed ass, marking and claiming you inside and out, treating you like nothing more than a prized animal.

It’s disarming and overwhelming how different and similar the two are, your mental barriers unable to keep up and adapt to their various approaches. You try to resist, try to look for ways to escape your luxurious prison deep under the ocean surface. But you find your resolve crumbling, find yourself craving Oikawa’s filthy demeaning words, find yourself waiting expectantly for Iwaizumi’s more physical proof of ownership. And when you look in the mirror one day and see yourself covered in bite marks and blooming spreads of purple, black, blue, and red, you sob, unable to recognize the woman staring back at you.

Your resistance has been laughable as of late and Iwaizumi sighs as Oikawa gloats, taking bets on how many more days it’ll take before you completely break and accept your place, before you grovel on your knees and beg to please them and praise them. How much longer until you become a true believer?

But it’s Iwaizumi’s turn to excitedly smile when he senses you attempting to leave his domain once again, in desperate pursuit of a watery end. And he chuckles at the irritated tsk from the god beside him as he leisurely takes his time to forcefully rescue you from the liquid flooding your lungs.

“You have some work to do on your seduction skills, brother, if she'd rather die than be with us for a second longer.”

Darkness has never felt so welcoming and you bask in the feeling of your consciousness fading to black, finding peace even as your lungs ache and burn from lack of oxygen. But you thrash as much as you can while submerged when a pair of strong hands grab you, wailing in denial as air rushes through your heaving body.

“Oh, darling. You didn’t think you could escape us that easily did you?”

A handsome face crowned by wavy brown locks sweetly smiles at you and dismay numbs your body, making your limbs heavy, your mind blank. And you just dumbly stare back as Iwaizumi moves behind you, lifting a golden goblet to your lip, submissively sipping whatever he offers you, thinking it’s just water to help clear your mouth of the salty ocean still clinging to your senses. But what you aren’t expecting is the unnatural warmth that floods you, has you gasping and contorting, only Iwaizumi’s reassuring hold and Oikawa’s voice grounding you throughout the chaos.

“Ambrosia…”

You can hardly believe your own word as you voice it outloud. A nectar meant only for the gods. A substance created for longevity and immortality.

Oikawa coos as hot tears run down your face when realization sinks in, when the promise of a lifetime and more, of forever, settles in the pit of your stomach.

“Oh sweetheart, don’t cry. We knew this would be a difficult change for you, so we added something else to the ambrosia to help ease you into things. Can you feel it?”

And you do feel it, whimpering and moaning as the aphrodisiac they had mixed with the fragrant beverage streams through you, nipples hardening, pussy aching and dripping, staining the ground underneath you that you find yourself helplessly grinding against for delicious friction and relief.

You shake your head side to side as both gods surround you, but as the hard toned planes of their chests press against you, any resistance disappears and you greedily rub your tingling buds against Oikawa’s bare skin, hands clinging onto broad shoulders, back arching as you shake your ass against Iwaizumi’s hardening cock.

Oikawa’s cruel laughter fills the air, but you don’t have it in you to feel a shred of humiliation, not when everything feels so good, so addicting, and you plead for more even as he mocks you, his fingers meanly twisting and pinching your nipples, sneering at how well you’re responding, how you were made to be used for all of eternity. And how can you even argue against him as you’re forced over the edge again and again, cumming with seemingly every simple touch, body jolting in pleasure with even just a brush of his fingertips?

Is this what it means to be fucked silly? To succumb to lust? You don’t know how much longer you can survive, how much longer you’ll be yourself when they’re through with you, if they’re ever through with you. And you sob in fear? Overstimulation? Overwhelming desire? You don’t know.

You don’t know anything except for the way two cocks stretch you more than you’ve ever thought possible. You don’t know anything except for the joy of having your two holes stimulated, stuffing you full of sticky warm spurts. You don’t know anything except the intoxicating smell of musk, sweat, and sex as your face is shoved between strong thighs, your nose and mouth forced to clean the mess you’ve made of their shafts and balls, only for your lewd messy appearance to cause their dicks to rise in interest and start the entire process all over again.

When your head finally begins to clear, rational thoughts and shame flooding through you, it’s too late. And despite the desperate words of denial you manage to use the last of your will to utter, even you can hear the tremble in your voice, even you can’t deny the way your hips continue to bounce up and down of their own will on the two cocks still buried balls deep inside of you.

You sob as Oikawa tenderly kisses you, nuzzling his forehead against yours in a grotesque version of a lover’s touch, croaking out “no, no, no” as the goblet is held to your mouth once more, Iwaizumi’s hand warningly wrapping around your throat when you take a second too long to part your lips.

“Drink up, darling. It’s the beginning of forever.”

[workofheart]

36+40 with Levi 👁

I love ur writing btw that bodyguard one was WOOOOOOO

this is honestly a fav thank u so much for the request, went kind of ham bc i love this idea. sorry if it hurts ur heart <3

one more | levi + “we’re not just friends and you fucking know it” + “if you’re going to act like a brat then i’m going to treat you like a brat”

warnings: angst/implied nsfw, aggressive levi, “hate to love you” kind of fucking, 18+ minors dni

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

“i have feelings for you. and i think you have them for me, too.”

levi is not a man of many words - that much is obvious. he keeps it short and to the point, not one for meaningless chatter or even thinking out loud, preferring to save his input for when it matters most. 

rare is such a thing due to him being rendered speechless by another person, not able to speak even if he wanted. he’s never been struck so voiceless in his life, dumbfounded and heart sinking at your admission.

his silence is deafening. coming here so late at night, you thought you had all the aces in your palm. you were so sure, but his lack of reciprocation to what you were just so confident tells you all you need to know.

he can’t stand to look you in the eyes, averting them to the papers strewn across his desk. “...it’s not that simple,” is all he can manage.

feeling embarrassed, you swallow thickly. “then what is it?”

“we’re comrades,” he offers, but damage control doesn’t look good on him. you wonder why he’s even trying. “i’d even call you my friend.”

you let out a wounded laugh at that, crossing your arms over your chest.. “come on, levi, are you kidding?”

there you go again, as if you can hear the thoughts racing through his mind before he can think them himself. of course he feels it, probably more than you, if he’s completely honest. but he can’t do it to himself again. he’s not sure if he can love someone like he wants to love you and come out alive on the other end.

“listen-”

“we’re not just friends and you fucking know it” you mutter, turning away from him. you can’t even look him in the eyes, from the humility, from the chance that maybe you’ve been wrong this whole time, from the chance you’re truly just in denial. have you just been misreading it all these years?

patience thinning, he stands from his chair to look at you properly, on your level now. “okay, and so what? you know how things are. you know how this life gets.” his lips are pursed, unwavering, sour.

a bitter expression takes root on your face. he hates it. 

“i’d rather love and lose than be a coward and never love at all.”

levi’s eyes narrow, a harrowing clench to his jaw ensues. it’s a shock to hear it coming from you. in fact, he’s astonished. he’s never seen your seething denunciations first hand, though he’s heard so much in passing, and such abrasiveness from you feels like a brutal strike to the jaw. your acrid words sting his pride, spear through his facade like you knew it would. 

he could tolerate attitude: he couldn’t tolerate being called a coward.

his voice drops. “don’t talk to me like that.”

“someone has to say it. the stoic act isn’t doing anything for you.”

he scoffs, incredulous. “you’re acting like a child.”

“you’re the one denying your feelings because you’re scared of getting hurt,” you argue, volume rising, “that’s childish if i’ve ever seen it.” you voice bounces off the walls of the room, and you can’t even be bothered to care about people hearing you when you’re so beat down.

you don’t even see it coming. with a swift movement, levi is storming toward you, has his hands wrapping around your upper arms, pushing you back against the door you stand in front of. you barely get the chance to look into his eyes before he has his lips on yours, firm and rough and unrelenting and...

and so, so inviting. once the initial shock fades, you can’t help but kiss him back, trying to match his pace, trying to find something to do with your hands when they’re still pinned back. but as soon as he feels you reciprocate, he’s pulling away.

eyes widening, you shake your head at him. “what do you think you’re doing?” you ask, chest heaving as you try to collect your breath. 

“if you’re going to act like a brat, then i’m going to treat you like one.”

his grip on your arms slides down to your wrists and then he’s dragging you across the room, pushing you inside his separate bedroom before you can even process what’s happening.

“you want me to tell you how i feel? fine.” he grumbles, pushing you down onto the bed and shrugging off his suit jacket. “you’re the only person around here who sees through me.”

he clamors out of his shoes and belt, discards his gear straps to the side. you’re frozen to your spot, unsure whether to undress, to walk away, or to wait for levi’s order. it’s almost laughable, how he has you collapsing so easily in a matter of moments.

“you look at me like you know what i’m thinking.”

he’s down to his trousers, shirt tosses carelessly over the footboard, before he’s crawling on top of you, movements calculated and intimidating as he pushes you back further and further like an animal toying with its prey. panting, he hovers over you, drinking up the hazy fear in your eyes.

 “you make me so fucking frustrated.” 

he grips your jaw in his hand, harshly locking his lips with yours, his rugged hold giving you nowhere to go.

levi presses another rough kiss to your mouth, swallowing the lewd sound you can’t hold back and pulls away, huffing as he forces you to look at him. “you make me feel like my life is fucking falling apart. and you’re right, that scares the shit out of me.”

he’s in a pit of turmoil, stuck between his desires and the thought of consequences, but his rash judgment pushes it all out. he’ll worry about regret later. it’s not like doesn’t already have an abundance of that hanging over him at every given moment - what’s one more?

“tell me you want me,” he grunts, stilling his movements. he needs you to say it, needs to hear you so he knows it’s real.

your arms reach up to tangle around his neck. “i want you,” you cry between his lips, hands tugging at his hair with greed, trying to pull him closer. it’s not just confirmation, it’s a plea.

warmth spreads through his body yet he feels himself shiver at the way you cling to him. it doesn’t take long to get you out of your clothes. he wants it off, off, off, and you’re not one to deny him. he bites at your neck, nips at the shell of your ear, whispers cruel teases there right where only you can hear him. each new expanse of skin you uncover for him is a new way to torture you, make you feel how much he wants you now, knowing he won’t let himself have you later in a way more than this.

his eyes are glued to you as he slips inside, staring down at the mess he’s made of you. purple lovebites blossom across your flushed, heaving chest. your cunt is dripping, aching for something only he can give you. you’re hot and needy and lewd, just for him, just how he made you, and you had the nerve to call him a coward. 

your mouth falls open at the feeling of his cock dragging sweet against your walls, squeezing him in the best way possible. it draws a low groan from him; he can’t tear his gaze away from how you tremble, dying for the moment to last, the pure pleasure he’s giving you rewarding him with how absolutely beautiful you look like this.

leaning forward, he drops his forearms to the sheets so he has you caged, chest pressing to yours. by now his skin is glossy, struggling to keep himself together with the moans you let out for him.

reaching down your figure, his calloused fingers find your clit to rub tight, hard circles that have you shaking. he picks his head up just to see your reaction, the way your eyes squeeze together, the way your back arches beneath him, the way you say his name like a prayer when you cum.

levi can bring you to your climax as many times as he wants. he’s more than able, more than willing. your body bends to his commands at a single touch. but the both of you know that’s not really what you’re here for.

he grits his teeth as he chases his own high, savoring the feel of your hands in his hair and how you clutch to his every movement, letting the confession spill off the tip of his tongue.

“fuck, i love you,” he pants into your neck, his heavy breaths puffing against your dampening skin. he feels the start crash over him in more ways than one with tears brimming on his lash line. not letting up, his strokes are smooth and fast and deep, as if he’s trying to make up for lost time, as if he’s trying to coax every filthy sound of reassurance he can out of you in the only way he knows how. “you know i do, shit, and you still make me say it.”

levi is not a man of many words, but god if he won’t give them to you when you ask.

[ultimateluckystudent-writes]

Restraint

Summary: You and Nagito's flirtations are sickening. Izuru still sees himself as a cure. As per usual, he only makes things worse.

Word count: 5.2k

Content Warnings: Uneven Power Dynamics, Under-Negotiated Kink, Possible Dubcon, Dom/Sub, Spanking, Bondage, Choking, Mentions of Sickness, Degradation, Slut Shaming, Sex As 'Punishment', Slight Breeding Kink, Orgasm Denial, Female Reader, She/Her Pronouns

General Themes/Tags: Despair!Era, Despair!Reader, Sub!Reader, Sub!Nagito, Dom!Izuru, Voyeurism, Exhibitionism

Ao3 Link

A/N: Reader is a slut and Komaeda's a freak what can I say... also I'm sorry for doing this before requests but no I'm not I'm busy writing smut <3

Izuru found that there was indeed a certain kind of beauty to the handiwork of his knots. The candy-apple red rope, the color of the ruined sky, the color of his chemically altered eyes, the color of her nails, the color of despair, looked rather fetching when tied around Nagito’s pale wrists. His green-blue veins ran under it, visible through his sickly, translucent pale skin. Izuru could smell the cancerous cells on his breath alone. Just like a dog! A voice in his head that sounded just like hers sounded. Just like a dog, his own voice repeated.

“Enoshima tells me that your… indecision and cowardice..." Izuru droned as he circled around the uncomfortable, between the wooden chair Nagito was bound to and the edge of bed (Y/N) sat on. Unlike the rest of the ‘rooms’ the rest of the Despair were afforded in their base, which were really much more like modified holding cells, Izuru’s room was fitted with a regular queen-sized bed with threadbare sheets. He didn’t mind the sheets, but he wouldn’t have minded staying in a holding cell like the rest of them either. He wouldn’t have minded any of it.

“Has affected the operations of all of the Despair.” He glowered down at them, the shadows on his face looming even darker from their seated positions. Izuru caught her hands fidgeting in her lap, and how Nagito’s ever-twitching leg began to bounce even faster. “How pathetic.” He said of both their actions and reactions. The woman flinched visibly. Nagito’s leg stilled. “You are both acting like children. Simpering after each other expends so much of your time that you’ve managed to become even more useless to us than before as you fail to complete assigned tasks.” He crossed the room to stand right in front of (Y/N). Though all of his steps were light- in the way only the Ultimate Assassin, or Spy, or Ninja, and or the countless other multitudes of titles he fit aptly could be- or rather, perhaps because of this, both of their throats bobbed with a heavy swallow.

“Therefore,” His voice was quiet, but in the otherwise silent room, his two captives could hear him clearly. He placed his hand on her cheek. It was such a foreign movement from him, so calm, so sudden, that she almost gasped from it alone. It was much warmer than she expected. She realized as he stood over her, his well-fitted suit accentuating the already sharp angles of his perfect posture, his clothes heavy with the smoky scent of the fires blazing outside, his eyes indecipherable, that he was so much warmer than she expected. He thought idly that he could name every muscle in her face that tensed under his fingers. “You have been left to my discretion.”

“Ah, of course!” Nagito finally gushed, breaking the tension between the other two at once. Both of their heads snapped to look at the shaking, beaming man. He seemed to be enamoured with simply the prospect. His arms twitched and pulled at his bonds, but he had no intention of attempting escape. He merely forgot in his excitement that he could not hold himself. “I see no fate fitting more for my dearest- to be left to the hands of the Ultimate Hope- to be graced with Kamukura-sama’s presence, his touch-” He uttered a little moan, his eyes fluttering for just a bit. “For him to have already tied me up like the pathetic little vermin I am… He could truly do as he wishes with us...” Nobody in the room was surprised at his reaction, however, (Y/N) was a bit amused that he had shown his true colors as a fanatic quite so quickly. “Whatever despair he induces can only be overcome by the hope you two inspire by nearly being around me!” His eyes finally seemed to focus back onto his lover. They seemed to warm just by looking at her, a detail that sent an unfamiliar rush through her. If he had looked at her before, she had only just noticed, and was still unused to such… vulnerability nowadays. She quickly looked away. “I can only imagine what you must be feeli-”

“Enough.” Izuru finally snapped. Nagito silenced at once. He immediately schooled his expression into one of subtle pleasure. His naturally heavy-lidded eyes seemed almost heated in the particular situation. “This inane drivel is precisely the sorts of issues we’ve been having,” Izuru finally brought up his other hand, which contained an identical rope to the one wrapped around Nagito’s wrist like the perfect present. “And you’ve done little to end it.”

(Y/N) found that she had trouble looking at the red of Izuru’s eyes or the rope in his hands. Both cultivated more of the sickening feeling in her gut, the overwhelming dread that conjured images of Izuru idly pressing his foot down onto her fingers holding the edge of a cliff, supporting both her and Nagito’s weight. It felt like bile rising in her throat, only creeping further as she caught glances of either. As Izuru held the rope in front of her face, a wordless taunt, she refused to break her gaze. She wanted to rot in the feeling.

“Turn.” Izuru ordered. She knew at once it would be the first of many tonight. Though she had watched Izuru carefully as he bound Nagito, it was nothing compared to how despair-inducing it was to feel her miniscule chances of escaping reduce to less than nothing. Her breathing grew heavier as she felt those sure hands tie one knot, then two, then three, until she purposefully lost count of how many loops there were around her wrists. Every time his knuckles brushed against her arms, her pulse points, she wondered more and more if it was truly an accident. She had never known the Ultimate Hope to be capable of accidents. When he finished, the silence rang heavy in her ears. She had foolishly half-expected to hear praise, to hear the words ‘good girl’ fall from his lips.

“Pathetic.” He repeated instead, sending both her and Nagito’s teeth deeper into their own lips. She felt it deeply, kneeling on the bed, her back to the man she knew held her life in his hands, the man she cared for so deeply privy to every little thing that would be done to her without being able to do anything. The feeling in her stomach had begun to sink lower and lower, though it felt much more heated. She was a fool, but not a naive one. Izuru always knew what he was doing, including what tone he was setting. She felt her own legs begin to shake. “I’m sure by now the two of you understand where this is going. Bend over.”

She obliged like it was second nature. She obeyed like it might as well have been her own thoughts asking. She bent over and stuck her ass up and face into the mattress, right in front of Izuru, with a speed that surprised most of the room. Izuru, however, remained unfazed. He almost seemed to expect it. Her whole body felt hot, displayed like this for Izuru and subsequently Nagito. She knew he could see her panties he could see below her short skirt. She’d taken to wearing much skimpier clothes recently, especially when she began her… affair with Nagito. Despite herself, she wondered if he enjoyed them. He wouldn’t have been the first. She liked it when it was hard for people to touch her without coming in contact with her skin.

“Let this serve as a reminder to the both of you.” Izuru said behind her. She wondered how much closer he’d have to get to feel the vibrations of his deep voice. “None of you have any room for affection in you. You wouldn’t be with our association if you could. You saw how easily she bent over for me. You’re nothing special, Komaeda, she would take it from anyone if she could.” He paused. She didn’t even get to wonder why before her head was grabbed and roughly turned to the side so she was looking directly at Komaeda. His face was flushing, beginning to turn the red color of so many things around him, giving into the situation. Though his mouth was slightly agape as he took the scene before him, he seemed to be at a complete loss for words. She’d never seen him like this before. “Do you see how aroused he is at this? How eager he was for me? He’s much the same. You two are, for lack of a better word, whores. Easy-” He didn’t get to finish his sentence, as both of the other two released small moans at his words. (Y/N) thighs clenched as she tried her hardest not to back her eager body back up against him. Nagito rocked his own back and forth, attempting to find friction against his growing erection. Izuru sighed. “Precisely.”

With no other warning, he shoved her panties down her hips. A string of her slick connected them for just a second, quickly severed with no regard from Izuru. Nagito stopped rocking. He stared, mouth agape, at her now exposed pussy. She couldn’t even tell him to stop looking. She didn’t want him to stop looking. Behind her, she heard the familiar sound of a belt unbuckling. Once again, instinct took over, and she spread her legs further for him. The fabric of his pants and underwear rustled as he pulled them down just enough to pull his cock out and stroke it.

“Wow.” Nagito muttered, looking all for the world like he didn’t even realize he was doing it. “Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow- t- to bear witness to this- to-”

“You will speak only when spoken to from here on out, Komaeda.” Izuru said without even looking up at him. Nagito swallowed hard. Behind his chair, he pulled ever so slightly at his restraints. Izuru rubbed the head of his cock up and down her lips, spreading her slick around. (Y/N)’s head finally dropped back down, looking away from Nagito, as she tried hard to not let any more noises escape her. Even if she knew Izuru could feel her desperate arousal in her heavy breathing, the way she wiggled and pressed into him, her fingers trembling in front of him, she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of letting it consciously escape her mouth.

“Be honest, (L/N)...” Izuru’s words were so gentle and soft that she knew at once that whatever sharp insult he would throw at her would make up for it. “Tell Komaeda about every Remnant’s cock and fingers you’ve had in your pussy.” She gasped at once, her eyes widening, but as the focus fell heavy on what she would say next, denial escaped hers. She could feel Komaeda’s eyes on her, but she couldn’t even bring herself to look into his eyes. Guilt and shame that she had never felt about her previous dalliances before were searing in her stomach. “Not to mention the people you’ve taken on the outside.” All the while, his cock continued to move back and forth over her hole, never pressing any further. Teasing her, seeing how much she could take. “How many?” He asked rhetorically. “Two dozen? More?”

The enticing idea that it was Izuru’s cock didn’t escape her. It was one of the many details that had made her so wet so quickly. She couldn’t believe that someone so singularly powerful and superhuman was even giving her thought. She couldn’t believe that he had taken the time to notice how big of a slut she was. Nagito wasn’t alone in his obsession with Izuru, she was merely better at hiding it.

“What does it matter?” She spat. A cruel smirk that only Nagito could see crossed her face. “Angry they got to me before you d-” She was interrupted as Izuru’s swift hand came down to firmly squeeze the sides of her throat, literally choking her on her words. Her labored, raspy breathing echoed through the room at once. Next to them, Nagito whimpered, but continued to bite his tongue. Under furrowed brows, his eyes flicked quickly between Izuru’s unyielding face and his hand around her throat. Nonetheless, his smile remained on his face.

“You’re actually less insufferable when you’re just moaning.” Izuru noted. Her eyes rolled back into her head, but she couldn’t do much else. The press of those sure hands was incessant. “I might begin to see why you seem so eager to be reduced to that state so often.” He lowered his mouth by her ear, but his voice was just loud enough to let Nagito hear. “I wouldn’t recommend boring or annoying me. We wouldn’t want me to push you too far past your limits, would we?” His vice-like grip only tightened. Though she could still breathe a bit, every second he held her was a second she became closer and closer to melting like putty in his hands. Beside them, Nagito groaned, deep in his throat, at the idea of pushing her past her limits. Too many thoughts were beginning to swirl in his head, and not having anything or anyone touching him to quell it was only making it worse. Kamukura finally released her. She took a deep breath in and coughed a bit. Izuru’s focus went back to her now soaking pussy.

“Now, as I was saying, the only difference between Komaeda and all of your previous conquests is how… inexperienced he is. That, and his crumbling mental state, means he’s developed quite an obsession with you. Isn’t that right, Komaeda?”

“Yes!” Komaeda practically barked, words bursting out of him like a damn. “Yes, yes, I would devote my body to her so willingly- she’s extraordinary, the- the idea of touching her? The idea of her wanting me,” he rambled, drool finally beginning to spill out of his lips in his practically cross-eyed fervor. His chest heaved with his panting. “Oh, it fills me with such an incredible feeling!” He cried. “I selfishly desire her every day, every moment-”

“Enough.” Izuru sighed. Nagito’s lips couldn’t even shut this time. He moaned once more at the sight and his ideas, hips rocking quickly. “You like the attention. It shows. Look how easy it is for me to take her.” At once, his cock stopped teasing her, and finally sunk in. She yelped loudly at the sudden, intense feeling as Izuru quickly and completely filled her. Her walls squeezed around him, beckoning him to stay as his cock kissed the deepest parts of her. Between the look on her face and Izuru’s hands on his lover’s hips, Nagito couldn’t contain himself anymore.

“What an amazing opportunity this is! What a once-in-a-lifetime chance,” he panted. “To watch hope himself and my love together so intimately… ah, you must think I’m so perverted.” Despite his tone, Nagito’s face remained stuck in a blissed out expression, belaying his enjoyment at his self-degradation. “To be enjoying this so… I’m filthy...” He moaned. There was a pause, for just a moment. His tone changed slightly, but it so happened that Nagito was trapped in a room with the only two people in the world who would be able to tell. “Though… some might call it perverted for you to be doing this at all, Kamukura-sama.”

“Are you... insulting me, Komaeda?” Though he didn’t look back over at Nagito, Izuru punctuated his words with his first thrusts into (Y/N). Her noises were muffled by the mattress, and though the tension in the room eased a bit with it, it still hung heavily above her head between the two men.

“Lowly scum like me? Insult you? I would never dream of it, Kamukura-sama.” Nagito smiled cheerfully. Despite his words, the look that he gave Izuru was not with his usual reverence. Izuru’s own eyes narrowed, rolling the emphasis on his words over in his head. With no other words, Izuru’s hands gripped (Y/N)’s hips tighter until the whites of his knuckles were visible and he was sure there would be bruises the next morning.

"Let me make myself clear. This is only for my relief." He punctuated his words with a particularly rough, deep thrust. A broken keen spilled forth as he bottomed her out. "Both from the constant whining and drivel from the two of you... but yes, also sexually." He tangled his hand in her hair. "Unfortunately, my body is that of a teenager’s. It... is filled with hormones that make my body want to breed." He pulled a bit on her hair. She moaned gutturally, fighting with herself to arch into and out of the feeling. His eyes flicked up to meet Komaeda's. "Komaeda, you would not believe how... exquisite she feels... how warm and inviting she is..." Izuru’s lip twitched into the ghost of a smirk. Nagito didn't miss it, he didn’t miss anything. His eyes eagerly drank in every detail of the two of them entwined.

"St- stop talking about m- me like I'm n- not here." She managed, gasping around every other word. Izuru hummed, like he was considering her words, before shoving her head back down harshly into the mattress. His other hand came down in a ruthless slap to her ass, making her gasp, both for air and in surprise. Her hands clenched around nothing behind her back.

"I've got no need to differentiate how I talk to your face from behind your back." Though his face did not change, his tone held a bit of smugness. It was the only indication that what had left her a panting, moaning mess had any effect on him, besides the slight dampness to his brow. "And this is not so much about you as it is about Komaeda." Once more, his tone carried more of his annoyance than usual. "He is incessant. Obsessive. Possessive. And over all a hindrance to the operations of the Despair in his pathetic desire. I was hoping tonight would see a folly to that… but he’s as worked up over you as ever.”

For a second, (Y/N) and Nagito caught each other’s eyes. Arousal that made her clit throb washed through her as she took in the look in his eye. She had never known Nagito to be possessive, as Izuru had claimed. In fact, he often turned down situations that might lead to being in her presence, citing that she deserved better. However, the completely captivated and hungry look would have made anyone feel like they were his. Even without his words or touch, she felt marked as his. Her noises grew even louder. The pride in his eyes, like she was a beloved toy he was showing off, was almost too much.

Izuru didn’t miss this. All at once, he stopped moving, though he was still buried deep inside her. She whined wordlessly, causing him to deliver another hard slap to her ass. She whimpered quietly at it, clenching around his cock, but said nothing else.

“If you’d like to look at each other so badly, so be it.” His voice was even angrier now. If she didn’t know any better, she would say that it almost sounded like Izuru was growing frustrated with the two of them. She couldn’t tell why though. Izuru finally removed his tie and jacket. Most of his clothes remained on, as the motion was not taxing to him in the slightest, but he felt a bit hot under the collar now. He figured it had to do with her body heat. She was very warm.

He pulled out of her and wordlessly picked her up to turn her and face her towards Nagito. She silently thanked the fact that her hands were tied up for once, since it meant it would be hard to pick her head up and look at him constantly. But as Izuru sunk into her once more, one hand gripped the rope binding her hands and the other her shoulder. He leaned down to speak to her.

“Seems you’re lucky as well.” He murmured to her. Her eyes were wide in surprise. Even as Izuru spoke to her, both of their gazes remained fixated on Nagito. She could feel his hot breath on the shell of her ear. It made her shiver as he held her close. “I’m not so bored I feel the need to hold you by the hair.” He considered her for a moment. Her hands were pressed up against his firm stomach. He felt so solid and tall and imposing behind her. Though he was ruthless and unforgiving in his motions, she also knew he could have done much, much worse had he wanted to. The way he took control of her so quickly, so unquestionably so, was what she had been craving from someone every time she had been with someone else.

She finally realized what he was doing. He was showing both of them that she didn’t need to seek another person to give her what she wanted- didn’t need to seek Nagito to give her what she wanted- because he, and only he, could give it to her.

At once, Izuru picked up speed again. She cried out, her fingers scrabbling at the buttons of his shirt, pulling him close, pulling him closer. The sudden roughness made her cry out, the noises broken by each slam of his hips against hers. She could feel the smooth fabric of his pants, still on him, every time he buried himself in her. His hair began to fall down from behind her, brushing her shoulders and sides, tickling her with their silky softness. For a moment, the mischievous thought of pulling it crossed her mind, before she remembered once more that she was tied up at his mercy.

Her eyes focused on Nagito. He was moaning and mumbling to himself, looking lovestruck and animalistic with his wild eyes and hair. She couldn’t quite hear him over her own noises and Izuru’s breathing by her ear. He was leaning forward as much as he could, taking everything in raptly. She could see his erection pressing hard against his jeans, but he seemed to have completely forgotten about it, at least for a bit.

“Fuck!” She hissed, shutting her eyes tight just to get a bit of respite from the onslaught of pleasure she’d been feeling. “Fuck, fuck, fuck yes!”

“Make use of that mouth without foul language. Tell me, is this pleasurable to you?” Izuru asked, but the gentle, dangerous voice he was affecting was strained now. She squeezed her thighs together, in an unconscious attempt to receive friction on her clit, but she was rewarded instead with a quiet moan from Izuru.

“Y- Yes, Kamukura-sama!” You nodded weakly. In the greatest surprise of your night, you heard him laugh for just a second behind you. Quietly, more of a snicker than anything, but a laugh nonetheless. It was a low, smug noise.

“Mmm. Now admit to both of us, that even with me fucking you right now, you’d rather have Komaeda’s cock.” He demanded, making Nagito’s hips jerk up. “Isn’t that right?”

“Yes! It- It is!” You longed desperately to reach out to Nagito, just to feel him, just to touch him, but you were beginning to understand the true reason Izuru had tied both of your hands behind your back.

“Then say it.”

“I’d rather have your cock, Komae- ah- Komaeda-kun!” She practically shouted. Izuru began slamming into her harder when she’d gotten to saying Komaeda’s name. The irony didn’t escape her, that although it was Nagito’s name she was crying, it was Izuru that was making her feel that way. Nagito was always hard to read, but although she couldn’t tell exactly what he was thinking about, he was enamoured nonetheless.

“I think we’re well past the point of formalities, (Y/N).” Her first name sounded heavenly on his lips. “Go ahead and try again.”

“I want y- you, Nagito!”

“Yes, yes, yes, yes!” Nagito was panting and squirming almost more than she was. It seemed he’d found a rhythm grinding up against his own pants and thighs. His eyes rolled up. “A- again, please, please, please!” He begged, knowing that he was taking a risk by speaking once more. She opened her mouth, but all that fell from it was a squeal as Izuru spanked her with the hand previously holding the rope.

“I made myself clear, Nagito.” Izuru practically purred as he spanked her again and again. She jumped with every one, but she loved the sting regardless. Each one made her feel a little more used, a little more worthless as anything but a toy for the two men. Nagito didn’t like seeing her hurting, but it pleased something deeply sadistic in him, and he wasn’t the one doing it. The friction was barely enough, but he was getting close.

“I- Izuru! Please, please, please…” She pleaded, beginning to rock herself back against his cock sloppily, not in time with his thrusts.

“Hold still.” He practically growled, smacking her once more before digging his fingers back into her waist. She almost couldn’t take it anymore.

“Izuru, please, my- my clit- please, please!”

“Would you like me to touch you properly so you can finish?” Izuru practically purred. She nodded, noises like sobs escaping her mouth. Izuru laughed once more. The hand on her shoulders let go, sending her falling back into the mattress, before he was gathering her hair and pulling her head up once more. “Stupid little girl. You really thought I had no punishment in store for you?” He continued to slam into her, leaving her too mindless to even respond. He was all-encompassing- she could smell him, feel him around and in her, hear only his voice- but all she could see was Nagito, practically on the edge of his seat, getting off to her abuse. “You really think you’re going to cum? How pathetic. You two are suited for each other. If you’re going to cum you’re going to cum from my cock alone. But as much of a dumb slut as you are, I don’t really think you can do that, so you’ll just take it while I finish inside you. After all, my body still wants you bred.”

“W- Wait!” You choked out. Although the smallest part of you that still retained thought worried about what he was saying, the louder part had flooded with a fresh wave of pleasure and arousal at his words. He made no move to pause, but you didn’t have anything else to say. In front of you, you could tell Nagito was close as well, beginning to heave breaths that sounded like laughs. He was sweating, heated by the jacket he was still wearing, but it seemed like the least of his concerns. His noises were high, breathy, and pleading. More than anything he wanted to touch, to feel anything but the confines of his own jeans, but instead he watched helplessly as another man threatened to finish inside his beloved.

Izuru finally began making quiet grunts of his own right in her ear. They were deep and animalistic, something she never thought she would hear from Izuru. However, as he began nearing his edge, his noises only grew more similar in desperation to that of the other two. For just a moment, all three could be heard finding their own pleasure, before Nagito threw his head back with a sobbing noise and climaxed first, emptying into his own underwear. He wished desperately that he was the one in her, even alongside Izuru.

The other two now took their own turn watching Nagito as he finished, their eyes focused on his trembling, his white locks falling back, the way he rutted into the air in his desperation. Izuru’s orgasm took even him by surprise as he watched, and he seated himself in her fully with a loud groan as he filled her up even more. Her noises now sounded broken and pathetic, pleasure overriding her thought process as she let him empty within her without fuss. When he was sure the last of it was inside her, he finally pulled out and set her carefully down on the bed. She didn’t even complain about the loss, since she could still feel his seed dripping out of her twitching core.

She felt his hands on her wrists, which she had grown accustomed to, before realizing that he was undoing his knots. In a couple of tugs, his work came undone, and he laid the rope down next to her. She still couldn’t find the energy to sit up. He then moved around her and to Nagito, still recovering from his own orgasm. Nagito smiled weakly at him. Izuru took Nagito’s hair into his hands, but didn’t pull.

“Clean me up.” He ordered. Nagito seemed shocked, but didn’t waste time. He wrapped his lips around Izuru’s cock, still slick with his cum and her natural lubricant, and began to lick it clean. He moaned and his eyes fluttered shut like it was the most wonderful thing he had ever tasted. Izuru’s nose wrinkled a bit from overstimulation. Nagito’s pink lips moved back and forth hypnotically over Izuru, until finally, he tugged him off with a ‘pop’. He nodded curtly, and tucked himself back away in his pants. Nagito licked his lips, from which drool had begun to escape him again. Izuru moved behind the chair and undid Nagito’s knots before going to redress in his tie and jacket. “Clean up your mess.”

He turned slightly away from the two, listening as Nagito quickly got to the bed, he assumed to tend to her. He looked back when he finished, realizing she was moaning once more. Instead of attempting to help her sit up or speaking to her, Nagito was kneeling between her legs, lips around her pussy, eyes dutifully closed and hands behind his back. Izuru quickly leaned over and grabbed Nagito by the collar of his shirt, pulling him away from his task.

“I told you she’s not to cum.” Izuru growled. “You’ve already gone against my wishes by finishing yourself-”

“My sincerest apologies, Kamu- Izuru.” Nagito’s head was bowed respectfully. “I truly meant only to help put your seed back into her.” His eyes flicked up to meet Izuru’s. They were not filled with the subservience his posture suggested, but instead flickered with his own machinations. “Who better to be filled with your cum than her? The despair of breeding her during such a time means nothing compared to the hope your progeny would bring! If I’m blessed with the taste of the aftermath of your intimate act in the process... well, that’s just my luck.” He practically giggled. “I suppose I’d merely gotten used to not using my hands.” Despite his mad words, Izuru expected something of the sort from him. He sighed, and let go of his collar.

“I’m leaving now. I expect not to see either of you in my room when I return. Let this be the last time we must have this… discussion.” Izuru said, making his way to the door. “Next time,” He paused in the frame. “I won’t be so kind.” With one last nod to the two of them, he shut the door behind him.

*****

A/N: I'm not sorry, except that this is my first time writing something like this w/ three characters so I know it jumps around a lot but eh here you are! Love, love

[mieohmy]

𝖶𝗁𝖾𝗇 𝖨 𝖲𝖺𝗐 𝖸𝗈𝗎 | 𝖧𝗎𝖺𝗇𝗀 𝖱𝖾𝗇𝗃𝗎𝗇

PAIRING: huang renjun x temp blind! reader

GENRE: angst (with a happy ending), fluff, humor, strangers-to-lovers, shared dreams! au, soulmate! au, college au

WC: 7.6k

NOTES: reader is temporarily blind, cursing, mentions of a car accident, trauma, slight anxiety and depression, mentions of injuries/hospitals

SUMMARY: dreams are your place where you feel alive -feel like yourself. the only place you can still see. which means you don’t want to share them. not with this random guy who keeps appearing in them, and especially not since he seems so real -almost like he actually exists in the real world outside of your dreams, but that couldn’t be possible... right?

oof this is late- anyways, it’s this beautiful soul’s birthday today <3 

hbd to our fairy renjunnie ! 

Three months. Three months stuck in that space.  

And all because of a reckless driver. Like they all say, it happened so fast. A single glance of the road. It seemed clear, the pedestrian sign flashing even. 

Then was the rush of a car engine coming closer. 

You suppose it was also your fault. Whoever it was that caused a notification to ping on your phone. It was an almost natural instinct to take it out and check.

But you were never able to find out. 

One of the scariest things in the world is to wake up and wonder why the world is an empty canvas. 

Why you have so many questions that can’t be answered.  

Why you can’t see the spring anymore.

The doctors said it was temporary. Some kind of head trauma from the accident caused whatever nerves to swell in your eyes. 

And that’s why you could no longer see the day. or night. anything. 

“It’ll eventually return to normal, and you’ll be able to see again. Just give it time.”

So why has it been three months and nothing except dark moving shadows and pain?

“I’m sorry, we’re not sure how long it’s gonna last. Let’s just wait and see.”

But how much time did you have to give? 

You were sent home in the end. The other injuries were much more minor, and you were just prolonging your stay. 

Only because you wanted to know. You wanted to know it would all go away. That it would be okay.

You just so desperately wanted to see once more.

They only gave you ambiguous answers. Answers that only made the scratchy and uncomfortable sensation inside you grow bigger. 

And here you were now. Four months after the incident and barely living on your own. Sight not improving in the slightest bit.

You lived separately from your parents, far away because of college. They helped you with all the hospital and stupid complicated health stuff, but there wasn’t much else they could do. There was no choice for them but to work hard and earn money instead of assisting you since bills were shit expensive.

You assured them it was fine, you would learn how to deal with everything. 

Friends were a different issue. The thing was, you didn’t have very many considering you just moved to a new school, but the few you did were kind and understanding. 

Except you never told them about the incident. Maybe because you were in denial. Maybe cause you were ashamed of yourself for ignoring them and cutting them out of your life. Because they got to see and experience everything they wanted while you were stuck behind.

And then you were truly alone. Alone with the faint light and shadows you were still sort of able to see. 

Siri basically became your best friend. You never realized how helpful it could be. Just ask, and it would tell you everything you needed to know.

To be honest, there wasn’t much to do. You weren’t able to attend your classes for the time being, and there wasn’t much you could to do without seeing. 

It was hard to adjust to life without your sight. There were a lot of things you couldn’t do without your sight. A lot of things were knocked over. A lot of bruises on your body from bumping into obstacles. That’s probably why you barely went out, only ever leaving your place for necessary resources to live.

This is not permanent. It’ll all go away soon.

You constantly told yourself that, repeating it in the morning. At night before you went to bed. But deep inside, you knew the real reason for everything. The denial, stubbornness.

The answer was clear. 

Fear. 

The fear of a permanent life without being able to fully experience the world. 

The fear of what your life would become without having the chance to achieve all your dreams and goals. 

You knew you should be grateful. For being able to see from birth until now.  You survived your accident with mostly minor injuries. Occasionally, you would get intense migraines- one where you could barely move- but you truly didn’t want to go back to that place to get it checked. You didn’t even want to leave your home.

At least you could still move and function properly for the most part. 

But it didn’t mean it still didn’t hurt. 

There was one thing. When your eyes closed for the day- when everything was okay. 

Because there was no need to feel any emotions asleep. 

But also because of the dreams. Mainly because of the dreams.

It wasn’t every day. You would absolutely love to dream every night, but if you did, then something must not be right. 

The power to dream and be able to recall everything in the world before you lost it all would be your one wish if anyone asked. 

Sure, you could just close your eyes and remember whatever you wanted, but it wasn’t the same. 

Dreams were like a story. A story you wanted to read. And you could only do it because of your memories. 

Thank the universe for memories. Ones that allowed you to still remember and see again in dreams. 

They were the one thing connecting you to the real world. 

The weird thing is, sometimes you would dream and be able to choose what you wanted to say and do. It was just like playing a fun game where you could do whatever you wished.

But it didn’t always happen. it only occurred on occasion. Why? You had no clue. 

But even so, you’ve never had a stranger appear in one of your dreams before.

ꔫ

You couldn’t recall everything that happened in last night’s dream, but when you woke up, a strange face was the only image stuck in your brain. 

You’re sure you’ve never seen him before. 

Can brains make up random faces? Or maybe you just made up a fictional character because of loneliness? 

Either way, he’s the only thing you can clearly remember.

Your eyes flick open, and it’s the same nothingness.

But his face lingers. Pretty and delicate eyes. Brown hair that flutters in the wind and a gentle smile that sucks you in. 

Who are you? 

Whoever this person was, you hope to dream about him again. 

ꔫ

And he does show up a few weeks later. Or has it been a month? You were really losing track of the days, especially now more than ever.

This time, the image of him is stronger in your head, burning into your skull. 

And you curse yourself for not remembering any more than his face. 

You rack your brain, trying your best to just think. 

Why do some people forget their dreams immediately when they wake up? When it feels like you’re just in one, but your mind starts up again for the day, and the dream vanishes just like that?  

You so desperately want to know. 

You can faintly remember images of a grassy meadow? Flowers? You don't recall any field that you’ve been to, but maybe it’s just somewhere you’ve forgotten about... Perhaps your mind just made your dream to be located there. 

As you get up for the day, you still wish to dream about him. A dream where you can fully control yourself and find this imaginary character you created in your head. Whoever he is.

ꔫ

And the world grants you that one wish. 

It’s been a while since you last dreamed. But of course, you never forgot him. 

The setting sun is the first thing that catches your attention. 

Immediately, you smile, standing up and brushing yourself off. 

The place is faintly familiar, a beach. You know which one. The one your parents used to take you when you were little. 

It looks exactly the same as you remember, but this was the first time you’ve ever dreamed about this specific place before. 

Then sounds of footsteps approaching make you look up.

It’s him.

The fictional character somehow procured from basically nowhere. 

What’s strange is that you didn’t even notice how the two of you were now sitting by the shore, watching the waves flow in and out. 

What’s even stranger is that you don’t question it, and neither does he. 

But you do take the chance to look at him, admiring his face.

“What’s your name?”

He looks startled like he never expected you to speak.

“Oh. Uh, R-Renjun.”

“Renjun,” you pronounce. The name feels unfamiliar on your tongue. 

Now how did your mind come up with a unique name like that?

You shrug, letting the dream continue on its own. 

But wait, you realize, if you were able to ask and think your own thoughts not according to the dream’s... that means you can control this-

Your eyes snap open. You can see nothing. And feel an oncoming headache.

Damn it.

ꔫ

You want to know why you’re so curious about this ‘character’. Why you want to see him over and over again without ever getting bored.

It’s just a dream. Or, several dreams that he’s appeared in by now. 

That could be it, you suppose.

You usually didn’t have about the same person, or in your case, the same ‘character’ appear in your dream three times in a row. 

But for some reason, you appreciated having your own imaginary friend in your dreams. 

 He wasn’t a real person. He wasn’t someone you had to watch out for. You could act however you wanted to him and he probably wouldn’t care. 

Wait-no, you correct yourself. He has a name. A name that seems so far but so close at the same time. 

Renjun. 

You go to sleep chanting his name in your head over and over again. 

ꔫ

“Wait... Renjun!” 

A satisfied grin appears on your face from having remembered his name. 

You stroll along the forest path, an unfamiliar one that you don’t particularly remember ever going to, but you shrug it off and continue towards him.

It’s been a while since you’ve last seen him, not having dreamed for a while. 

His eyes widen, taking you in. “Whoa. You’re here again?” 

You frown. “Um... yes? It’s nice to see you.”

Renjun nods hesitantly. “You too, uh....”

“Y/n!” you beam. You’re not sure why you’re so happy to see him, but any company is still company, so no complaining.

Since you figured you were able to control yourself in this dream, might as well take the opportunity. 

If your brain was able to give him a name and a *cough* pretty *cough* face, he must have a personality. And what better than to get to know ‘renjun’ while you still had dreams about him?

“Do you want to walk together?”

He shrugs. 

And since it’s your dream, right? you start on the path, knowing he’s gonna follow you anyways.

You reach an opening overlooking some city. It’s unfamiliar, but the sight is too pretty you don’t think much of it.

You can’t take your eyes away, the view one you’ve never seen before. One that wasn’t from your memories, and it almost blinds you. Especially since you haven’t been able to experience anything new in a while because of... everything at the moment. 

“It’s beautiful,” you breathe.

“It is,” Renjun agrees. 

Why is it so natural for you to sit next to him, get along with him?

“I haven’t been able to go out like this for a while, so it’s a lot to take in at once.”

He glances at you.

“Really? Why?”

Suddenly the air feels tightening. 

“Um. Health stuff. I guess.”

Renjun nods. “That’s understandable. But going out might be good for you. It’s nice to get a little fresh air every once in a while.”

His words hit differently. It rings inside of you, making you sit up. 

“You’re right, Renjun. I should go out more.” Your voice is quiet but smooth. 

Suddenly, he laughs. It’s a beautiful sound flowing out in a beautiful place. 

“I say that, but honestly, I’m also holed up inside all day. I need to go out more too.”

You don’t get what he means by that- why does it matter to a non-existent person how often they go outside?- but the feeling of just being here is incredible. You can’t waste your time in this dream pondering on pointless thoughts. 

“You should take advantage of it. You never know what could happen one day. Never take things for granted.” You finish, voice suddenly serious.

He looks surprised. “Oh. I suppose you’re right. Thanks, y/n.” 

Instead of responding, you sit back on the ground, looking at the dream -but still beautiful- sky.

Your hand pats around for a second before landing on its target. Your fingers wrap around renjun's, pulling him back so he plops down next to you with a grunt. 

“Geez, could’ve given a warning.”

“There’s no need for warnings here,” you sigh. 

Sure, the clouds aren’t real, but you’ll take any chance to see something you can’t in reality anymore. 

“Y/n,” he starts.

And when you turn to look at him, his face is a lot closer than you thought.

There’s a pause. 

The last things you remember are his long fluttering eyelashes and alluring brown eyes- ones that look so realistic and strangely familiar? 

That morning, you wake up with the scent of the woods still lingering in the air and a little more ease in your heart.

ꔫ

Over the next couple of months, Renjun keeps appearing. And you’re completely fine, even delighted with that. 

Now you’re always excited to go to bed, hoping each night that you’ll dream about him. 

Even as the days get hotter and your a/c is definitely getting overused, you find yourself thinking about him and imagining if he was next to you. 

You had to keep reminding yourself that Renjun wasn’t real. No matter how much you wished he was. 

But you still considered Renjun your friend. Technically, your only friend.

And each time you met in your dreams, you felt happier and more content. You felt alive next to him, your heart that always beat faster around him only confirming it. 

Sometimes you’d spot Renjun in a place from your memories, and sometimes he would appear in a completely unfamiliar area to you. 

You didn’t care enough to think twice. A new place with new sights was a highlight to your encounters. 

And today, it was no different. A colorful park. You know you’ve never been here before, but it feels like you’ve seen it somewhere..... perhaps somewhere online? 

Ever since the second time you met him, you noticed a theme with the unknown places you sometimes ended up in. 

Mostly in nature, surrounded by fresh air and plentiful green. You were confused, but I mean, who cares? They were beautiful, peaceful. Places that made you forget everything. 

You find Renjun sitting down at a nearby bench, messing with his hands.

“Hi.”

He looks up, attempting to smile, but it falls short. “Hello, y/n.”

That’s interesting. Renjun always seemed happy to see you. At this point, you can tell when he’s acting strange or not.

You decide to play along. “What’s up?”

“Oh. It’s nothing. Just really stressed about upcoming school stuff.” You cock an eyebrow, amused. This isn’t the first time you’ve felt weird when he says something like that.

“You know, for being an imaginary character, you sure act like a real person.”

“What did you just say?” Renjun stands up.

You follow, getting up and looking at him, confused. “What?”

“What the hell do you mean by imaginary?”

“Imaginary? You don’t exist -like you’re not real?”

“No way.”

Your eyebrows raise. Why was he getting so defensive over this?

“I’m not an imaginary character- you are.”

A scoff escapes your lips. What the fuck?

“Stop talking nonsense.” Even though you’re trying to stand your ground, you can’t help but reevaluate everything. You look at him, panicked but still staring straight into his eyes as if to say, stop the joking right now.

Renjun only stares at you, fighting back with a headstrong expression. “I’m not. So you should stop too.”

You place your hand on his arm, inhaling.

Renjun tries to pull away, bewildered, but you keep your grip.

His arm feels warm, veins partially showing through. Almost like a real.....no way. But there’s even a faint scar on his wrist. Your brain couldn’t possibly be so meticulous as to add such details to a fictional person.

Your eyes flick to Renjun, studying him, memorizing everything you can about him.

Your breathing is heavy as you step closer to him, almost in a daze. “If you’re not just an imaginary person I created in my dreams,” you whisper, watching as he swallows and his adam’s apple bobs up and down-

“Then who are you?”

But before he can say anything, the world fades to black. 

You wake up with an immense urge to scream in frustration but also hide away to just think everything over.

You lay in bed for what feels like hours. Contemplating. Panicking. 

This was a joke, wasn’t it? 

He’s lying. 

Just a dream? 

But this time, you can’t say that it was “just a dream..”

Your hand punches the bed in defeat.  

You don’t understand. How are you able to see another living and breathing human in your dreams? 

All the things and places you were able to dream about were because of your memories. But Renjun... Renjun was a complete stranger. 

So how are you able to see him perfectly fine?

You think back to all the previous times you met him. 

If he truly was real, then he must’ve been dreaming too? Since he believed you weren’t real either? 

And all the unrecognizable places you saw -they must exist in real life? 

That means.... you and Renjun must be sharing dreams.

There were a lot of questions. All that were making your brain pound. 

More importantly, how the fuck are you even able to share dreams with another person? 

ꔫ

You spend every night praying that you’ll fall asleep and see Renjun again. 

Renjun? Is that even his real name?

Oh my god, you don’t know anything about him. 

But for some reason, it isn’t hard for you to wrap your head around the fact that he exists. 

His reaction seemed so real -he couldn’t possibly be faking right? 

You smack your head on the pillow. Many times. Repeating, “Go to sleep. Dream. Go to sleep,” over and over again. 

Until eventually, you do. 

And when you find yourself at your old middle school- gross- you immediately start. 

Getting up, you navigate throughout the old place. Everywhere’s blurry and hazy though, you suppose it’s because you haven’t been here in a while and forgot.  

Where is he? You know he has to be here somewhere. 

You spot his familiar silhouette. Target acquired. 

He must’ve felt your presence too, since he turns around to face you. 

You’re about to say his name, but then you remember the whole ‘he’s actually a real person thing’ and then you can only splutter out an accusing “you!” with an accompanying point of a finger. 

“Me?” His eyes widen. “No-you’re not supposed to be a real person. So who are you?”

“I’m y/n.” You repeat yourself again with more force. 

“This is my dream, and you’re in it. Look,” you gesture around. “This is my old school. If I wasn’t real, could we be here at a place like this?”

Renjun falters, and you exhale. “I’m not joking. I swear. My name is y/l/n y/n.”

He holds his hands out. “B-but how? How can you-?”

You shake your head wearily. “I don’t know. I don’t even know you!” 

He sighs in defeat. “My name is Renjun. Huang Renjun. And I promise I’m not joking either. I truly thought you were just a figment of my imagination.” 

You nod, fidgeting before holding out a hand. “Well then, I believe you. Nice to meet you,” you look into his glittering eyes, “Huang Renjun.” 

When his hand touches yours, you feel a rush of emotions. 

You think he does too, judging by his tightening grip on yours. 

He quickly takes his hand away, making you frown. “And just to prove it, you know the forest we were at once?”

You nod, recalling the pretty leaves. You haven’t seen leaves in a while.....

“It’s near my city in the real world. And that mountain too.”

Then it hits you. You glance up at Renjun, surprised. 

“No way. I know where you’re talking about. You live like, a couple of hours away from me.” 

“Wait, really? Where do you-“

You sit up, feeling the familiar sensation of a blanket around your legs. 

And then let out a loud screech of frustration - while also internally apologizing to your neighbors.

ꔫ

When you meet Renjun in the next dream, you pick off where you left off, and move into telling each other about your actual lives.

“You study plants? That explains why we’re always near grass in your dreams.”

“Hey!”

“I’m joking. It’s really nice. I like it more than you may think..”

“Seriously,” you look up from your position on his lap, “savor it while you can.”

He nods dutifully. To others, it may seem annoying or strange that you’re constantly telling him to enjoy when he still has the time, but Renjun appreciates it. 

It’s always a nice reminder.

He assumes something must’ve happened to you before, but nevertheless, he doesn’t pry. 

“What about you? What are you studying?”

Suddenly, you can’t look at him. You're unable to tell him that you don’t even attend school anymore. 

“Um, I’m still deciding... it’s hard, you know?”

“I get it. Comfortably take your time. You don’t have to rush, do what you want.”

Your heart warms. 

“Can you cook?”

“Eh.”

“What about roller skating?”

“I’m a pro.”

“Bet I could beat you.” 

“Oh yeah? Just wait, one day we’ll go together in person, and I’ll kill you at it.” 

“What about aliens?”

Your eyebrows raise. “What about aliens?”

“What- what do you think of them?”

“Oh. Aliens are cool.” 

“Do you think they’re real?

“Sure. I mean, if we’re able to share dreams like this, then why can’t aliens exist too?”

You miss the growing smile on renjun’s face. 

“.... is this what you really look like in real life?”

“What- yes! Why would I look like someone else in my dream?”

“I dunno, you’re a lot more handsome than most guys I can remember..” you trail off, hoping he doesn’t catch the rest of the sentence. He does. 

That goes on for a while, asking each other random questions. But while you’re still here in the dream, you should take advantage of it. 

Standing up, you brush yourself off. 

“Huh, what’s up y/n?”

“The sky.”

Renjun scowls. 

“Okay, okay, I’ll tell you.”

And then you sprint off, yelling, “first one to the tree gets bragging rights!!”

Renjun falls halfway, and you have to help him and his dramatic ass. 

ꔫ

When Renjun brings up the prospect of possibly meeting each other in real life, you’re both really excited at first. 

But then it hits you. That’s right. You’re kinda blind at the moment. 

You never once told him about your... sight problems, probably because you first thought he wasn’t even a real person, and it never seemed important. 

As Renjun sits there, excitedly listing off ways to find each other that actually while you’re awake, you can only absentmindedly nod, a storm brewing inside you. 

It makes your insides churn. Should you tell him? 

You hated lying, but there was that growing insecurity rising up. 

What if he finds out everything and doesn’t want anything to do with you anymore?

What if Renjun doesn’t want to be your friend? 

What if... 

He leaves you?

“Y/n???” He waves a hand in front of you. 

You blink. “Yes?”

“I was just talking about how it’ll take around 3 hours to take the subway to your city or, yours to mine. When we both have a free day, we should meet up!”

He looks so excited and cute, but you still cringe. When was the last time you took the subway? 

You nod uneasily. Renjun must notice your expression because he turns concerned, “Are you alright?”

You hastily smile. “Fine. Just really stressed about upcoming school stuff,” you joke. 

That answer must be good enough because he drops the subject. 

What have you gotten yourself into?

ꔫ

And for the first time, you’re scared to dream. 

Scared to see Renjun. 

Stress and anxiety gnaw at your head, swirling thoughts constantly floating in and out. 

Renjun won’t like you anymore. 

He doesn’t want to be with a liar.

And after he excitedly mentions that he obtained an internship near your city in the spring, your guilt and frustration grow more.

Since that one conversation, you’ve been having more and more headaches, most likely because of the lack of sleep from stress.

Renjun’s probably sleeping peacefully hours away from you as you stay up, plagued with concerns.

You shake your head, wanting to get rid of bad thoughts so the pain doesn’t overtake your brain again. 

Think of happy things. Happy memories when you were young and carefree. 

Like.... the one water park you went to with your friends years ago. That was a good memory.

You rack your brain.

Wait a second -what did it look like again?

ꔫ

As the air turns colder, you have to bust out the old heater that hasn’t been used in years-the dust floating in the air lingered for days. 

Overtaking your breathing, your brain. 

Just like your thoughts. 

You’re still constantly worrying about Renjun.  Because of Renjun.

And yourself. 

You and Renjun. 

Renjun and you. 

All those thoughts weren’t good for you. Why you may ask?

More thoughts lead to overthinking. 

Overthinking leads to stress. 

Stress causes the agonizing headaches. 

And those headaches are the bane of your existence.

Because it makes you unable to recall. 

The headaches weren’t a big deal at first. After the car accident, the doctors said your brain seemed clear for the most part. 

But obviously- it wasn’t- since you were here now with daily migraines- the pain multiplied from anxiety. 

And that caused your memory loss.

It was simple things at first, just like what you ate for the day and where you put your stuff. (It was already difficult since you couldn’t see, and the forgetful memory was making it so much worse) 

And then it was the more important recollections. 

Like what your parents' birthdays were. Your favorite restaurant. What schools you attended.

You don’t want to admit that the only thing left perfectly clear in your brain is yours truly, Huang Renjun. 

This isn’t happening. 

Pigs can’t fly and.... you can’t remember. 

Why? Every time you try to think of something, your brain pounds like crazy.

You really don’t want to believe it’s an effect of the accident. And the stress. 

You don’t want to think about it at all. 

But sadly, you were still human and had to sleep. 

Which meant eventually dreaming sooner or later...

“Y/n!” 

Wait. What?

“What’s going on?”

No. What’s happening?

“I know people don’t dream that often, but three months and nothing from you? I went to bed, happy at the thought that we might meet again, but it’s like you’re purposely not sleeping and avoiding me or something-!” 

There’s no way you heard everything he just said, even his irritated tone that you’ve never heard before didn’t faze you. 

Due to the fact that everything except Renjun himself was a blur.

Basically- you couldn’t see shit. 

Your heart rate begins to pick up. You swirl around, squinting and rubbing your eyes like crazy. 

Why? Why is this happening? Why can’t you see the dream world around you?

But you know the reason- it’s quite obvious. 

Since your memory disappeared just like that. And without your memories, everything has crumbled to nothing. 

Ironically, you forgot about Renjun who was still standing there, perfectly fine.  

“Y/n? What wrong?”

He snaps a finger in front of you, and you barely react.

“No, nothing’s wrong.” Your voice has been reduced to a whisper.

“Listen-I-why are you lying? I thought we were friends. I thought we trusted each other enough to talk honestly.”

It’s too much. Renjun’s growing anger plus everything you’re experiencing at the moment is overwhelming. 

“Just stop-!” You screech, arms held out in front to protect yourself from everything. 

He freezes. 

And you collapse on the ground, hands shaking as you look around. Look for anything you can clearly see. 

There’s nothing.

The worst pain ever runs through your brain- the feeling to curl up in a ball and stop everything is strong. 

“Y/n- please. Please talk to me.”

He leans in front of you. 

“I- see-“ you splutter, collecting your thoughts.

Your mouth forms the words but immediately comes to a halt.

He doesn’t know. 

You stare at him, helpless. Your eyes flicking all over the place, pupils dilated. 

Renjun does the only thing he can think of at the moment. 

He places his lips on yours, and your eyes automatically close. 

Your heart steadies, adrenaline slowly fading. 

He just feels... right. 

And then his hand brings your body closer to his, making- 

You sit up in bed, breathing heavily. 

All you can think is, 

what a dream. 

And as much as you still feel the ghost of his soft lips on yours, you can’t get over the fact that everything else was blurry. 

You could only see faint lights and shadows. 

You couldn’t remember. 

ꔫ

No. 

What does the sky look like again? 

No.

Why can’t you remember the day anymore?

You spend days- weeks maybe even- trying to recall as much as possible. And spend less time attempting to sleep for the chance that you’ll have to see Renjun again. 

Your mind is in shambles. One part of you is yearning to see him -find Renjun in the dreams again and explain everything. 

But the other part is scared. Extremely terrified at his reaction. His feelings. 

Will he still- you dare to say- like you? 

I mean, that kiss had to mean something, right? 

Right?

You smack the nearest object in exasperation.

I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore. 

Can everything just stop? 

Your poor pillow has been punched into oblivion by now. 

Either way, you fall into what could be considered a slump. 

A slump in life. 

The uncomfortable sensation grows bigger and bigger each day since the only thing you can do is stay at home and dwell on the fact that your life is basically over now.

There's no recovery in sight -ha- of your future. 

Each night is spent exerting your aching brain to recall. 

The only thing that comes back is Huang Renjun.

But once again, you’re only human. A human that occasionally passes out from the lack of sleep.

Renjun would be nagging at you. Your heart automatically drops at the thought of him. How long has it been since you last seen him?

More importantly- how long has it been since you last properly slept? 

You can’t even see yourself but you know the eye bags you’re carrying are bigger and brighter than your future. 

You call out for Siri. 

“It’s currently 3:21 AM.“ 

You sigh, so desperately wanting to chuck your phone across the room even though you know finding where you threw it would take hours. 

Pathetic. 

And then you figured you must’ve fallen asleep. 

Because you open your eyes. And at first, it just seems like another day of barely making it through life, but no- this is different. 

You’re not in your bed. You’re on a blank, hard surface.  

You realize where you are right as a familiar voice calls out your name. 

The fear that courses through you is a feeling to laugh at.

“What the fuck, y/n.”

There’s no way you’re getting out of this. 

“What’s going on? I just wanna know why. You ghost me for months without saying anything. I deserve an explanation.” Renjun’s fists are clenched at his side, anger barely seeping through. 

You sigh wearily, partly from him and partly from the fact that you still can’t see anything else except his face. 

“I know. I’m sorry. I’ve been going through stuff, okay?” You hope your tone is enough to tell him that you don’t want to talk about this anymore.

But it isn’t. 

“What things? You can tell me, y/n. I thought we were close enough for that. I thought we trusted each other.”

As much as your heart clenches at his words, it isn’t enough to suppress the frustration building inside you. 

“This isn’t about trust, Renjun. It doesn’t matter if I trust you or not. What does it have to do with me telling you about my life? It’s my privacy.”

His eyes burn into yours. 

“So you don’t trust me?”

“What- of course, I do! Why are you so stuck up on that?”

“Cause I care about you,” he groans, running his hands through his hair. “I care about you- a lot- but clearly, you don’t seem to return the feelings!” 

“What? What makes you think that!?” 

“Because you act like this!” He forcefully gestures. “Because you push me away without any explanation and don’t show any sign of your feelings! Don’t seem affected like I am when I haven’t seen you in months and miss you, okay?”

You pinch your nose bridge, annoyed. “Well, I’m different. If you cared about me that much, wouldn’t you have noticed?”

You know your words mean nothing. They’re just randomly produced from the deepest, darkest insecurities that are pent up inside and need to escape. 

“What’s so different about you? As far as I’ve known and seen you, you’re just another human like me-“

“-Because I can’t see fucking anything, okay?” You yell, forcing yourself to take a breath. 

“I’ve been blind for what seems like forever, and at first it was all okay, but now I can’t remember anything except you, which means I can’t see shit. Is that a good enough answer for you?”

You feel your body trembling, barely able to look at him. 

A good silence lasts for a couple of minutes. 

You turn around, anywhere away so you don’t have to look at his face anymore- since he’s stupidly the only thing you can even see. 

You don’t know what to feel. Perhaps relief for finally saying it? Exhaustion from keeping everything pent up and finally letting it all out? 

Then you recognize the sensation. 

You’re waking up. 

You think Renjun calls your name at the exact moment. But it’s too late. You’re already gone at that point. 

And now you don’t know what to do. 

ꔫ

After that, you get the best sleep in your life.  There’s surprisingly no more stress about lying to Renjun, you already spilled everything. 

On the other hand, there is his whole response. But you bury those worries deep inside. 

Maybe it’s for the better, you think. After the fight, you couldn’t the guilt go. The angered lies that slipped from your lips won’t leave. 

Renjun doesn’t deserve someone like you. 

But for once, you decide to go out. To get some needed fresh air like someone once advised you to, and also because you’re running out of food to eat. 

Before you leave, you grab the sunglasses on the counter and put them on. Most people would just think you’re avoiding the spring sun, which is exactly what you wanted.

You didn’t want them to see your blank stare and then realize that you had lost your sight. It was simply more comfortable for you and others. 

It was always a challenge to go out. Strange how normal people would never think twice before closing the door behind them and entering the outside world, but it became something you had to prepare yourself for. 

Taking a deep breath, you close the door behind you and navigate as best as you can to the nearby cafe. 

Sure, you barely left your place, but it didn’t mean you couldn’t enjoy a refreshing drink outside every once in a while. 

Two people bump into your side, and you barely spare them a second, continuing on. 

An apology is given, but you brush it off, hiding your face and quickly continuing on. 

That’s strange. One of the voices sounded really familiar, but it was too quick, and you barely heard the voice enough to pinpoint it. 

It happened all the time- if not always- running into another person. But this time, it was different. After touching the stranger's shoulder by accident, it felt like a flame burst inside of you. Intense enough to make your head spin a little and set your body alight. 

And the sun wasn’t making it better. 

Gosh, why is the sun so bright today? 

You brush it off, opening the door to the cafe and taking your sunglasses off to be polite and not seem weird or suspicious. 

You squint at the board, cautiously walking to the register and ordering. 

After they confirm your order, you find a nice spot alone in the corner. 

It’s not too busy or slow today, you note. But soon boredom overcomes you, and eventually, you find yourself staring at the entrance door whenever someone new enters for no reason in particular. 

The entrance bell rings, and your eyes subconsciously flick to see who it is. 

Wait. 

No fucking way. 

It can’t be. 

Huang Renjun?

 in your city?

Entering the same cafe you were currently at? 

You suddenly remember. One dream, a long time ago when he excitedly rambled on about that internship he got. Located where you lived. That’s right, he said it was in the springtime. And here he was now. 

A string of curses run through your brain, your heart beginning to pick up its pace in panic. 

You debate just leaving. But your order..... oh god, what if he sees you? 

Will he recognize you? Stupid, obviously Renjun would recognize you. 

What if he comes up to you? 

Shit, you have no clue what to do. 

Maybe if you just look away and hide your face when he passes, then he won’t see you. 

You look down, pretending to be occupied with your shirt and shuddering when you hear his voice get closer.

You let out a tiny sigh of relief when he passes with someone else, you suppose a friend. But it’s not over. 

“Order for y/n!”

You unleash more curses internally. Of course, they had to call your name. Of fucking course. 

You desperately hope Renjun isn’t paying attention.  

Exhaling, you try to act as normal as possible walking up to get your drink. But before you even make it there, you can feel eyes on you. It burns the back of your head. 

You scream into your mouth, teeth gritting to barely muffle the sound. 

It’s okay, just pretend you can’t see him -you already yelled at him confessing that you were blind anyway, so maybe he thinks that you can’t see him. 

It’s fine. 

Act normal. 

You obtain your order and take one step carefully at a time. 

Oh no. 

Oh no- he’s coming towards you. You can just barely see in your peripheral view Renjun approaching and getting closer. 

“Y/n.” 

You try not to stiffen at his voice. Just act like you’re blind and can’t see him. 

Turning around, you pretend to act blank. “Yes? Who’s talking to me?”

“Y/n,” Renjun says more insistently. 

“I’m sorry, I don’t recognize you. Who are you?”

And then his hand reaches out to yours.

You panic, swatting it away. 

You hear renjun's breath hitch. “Wait- how did you do that?”

“What do you mean?”

“Y-you,” he stutters, “you blocked my hand. B-but how? I don’t-“

You frown. “Cause I saw it?”

Your hand raises up to cover your mouth. 

You saw his hand. 

You can see. 

What- when did this happen? 

How did this happen?

Why didn’t you notice? 

There are so many things swirling in your mind, but Renjun calls your name again. 

You look back at him, truly look at him, and suddenly it’s like all the puzzle pieces fit together. 

He’s breathtaking. It’s so different seeing him in person and not in your dreams. If anything, you’re jealous of how much prettier he seems in real life. 

You’re not sure how long you stare at each other. Seeing those eyes that once captivated your soul right in front of you. 

“The last time I saw you was in my dream,” you breathe, “but it feels like the first time I’m meeting you.” 

Renjun doesn’t say anything, and abruptly you find yourself in his arms. 

You don’t care that you’re hugging in the middle of a public place, it just feels so right. 

You bury your face in his shoulder, unable to speak.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that I didn’t tell you. I was just so afraid at what you'd say, and I just liked you too much and I’m sorry-“

Renjun pulls back, staring at you like he hasn’t seen anything more magnificent before. 

“It doesn’t matter. You can tell me everything you want now.” 

ꔫ

“I’m happy to report that the swelling in your optic nerves has gone down. It’s like a miracle occurred,” the doctor remarks.

Luckily, renjun’s internship lasted for a couple weeks, and you were able to spend as much time as possible with him. The only time you weren’t next to his side was when he was working or you were at the doctor's to check up on your condition. 

There was no more blankness. There were no more headaches. It’s like Renjun brought a breath of fresh air into your life. It’s almost like he was meant for you. 

You simply smile and laugh at the doctor as you think, 

Yes, a miracle did happen. One where I met the person who seemed only like a dream and learned the most important lesson in my life. 

That dreams really can come true.

Bonus : 

“Renjun, you’re going the wrong way.”

“Well excuse me for not having ever been to this place before.”

“Okay, you’re excused.”

Renjun rolls his eyes, and you grin cheekily before taking his hand. 

“C’mon, we still have to get to the top.” 

“Did you get the blankets?”

“Yep.”

“And the snacks?”

“Yeah, yeah. I got your favorite.” 

It’s been so long since you came here. Your favorite spot to stargaze. The one you went to all the time before the accident. The one you were going to when the car accident happened. 

But this time it was different. You had Renjun next to you. 

After ten minutes of hiking and Renjun complaining, you finally make it to the top of the secluded hill, the night sky seeming so close and yet so far. 

Renjun takes everything in with a breath. “Wow. I can see why you love this place.”

You feel a rush of emotions. How long has it been since you were able to come here and see the stars? 

You two set up the blankets and sit back, embracing the sight. 

He sits down on the blanket, and you automatically lie down next to him, placing your head in his lap. 

“Doesn’t this remind of you that one dream where we saw your city from above?”

Renjun grins. “I remember that. I still thought that you were just a fake simulation or whatever. And now look, we’re together in real life.”

You hum thoughtfully. 

“Thank you, Renjun.”

He looks down at you. “For what?”

Suddenly you can’t look him in the eye. “For everything. For being my friend and never leaving,” you gulp, nervous. 

“I... I love you.” 

Renjun jerks a little, eyes wide. “What did you just say?”

You breathe in, out. “I love you, huang renjun.”

He starts laughing for some reason, leaning down to kiss your forehead. 

“I love you too.”

After that, you enjoy the peaceful silence and the buzz of the insects. 

“...don’t you think this would be a hotspot for aliens to come to? This field is so vast and secluded -if I were an alien, I would come here a lot.”

You shrug. “I don’t know. But I guess I would too.”

Renjun suddenly looks at you with an accusing glare. And you catch on, smacking his side. 

“Don’t even think about it.”

He feigns ignorance. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Okay sure. You totally weren’t gonna say something about how I could be an extraterrestrial creature from another planet since I come here so often.” 

“Well-”

You stuff food in his mouth to shut him up. 

He chews for a minute or two before talking again. 

“.... what if we get abducted by them?”

You roll your eyes. “Don’t be dramatic. I’ve been here so many times, and nothing happened to me.”

“Maybe that’s because you are a-“

“Oh my gosh. Just stop. And trust me, if I were one, you would already be abducted with that face,” you joke.

You look up from your spot on his lap, staring up at the twinkling lights in the dark sky. 

“It doesn't matter, I’m not scared.”

Renjun looks down at you with a curious smile. “Why?” 

“Because everything got a little better when I saw you.” 

And the stars seem to agree, twinkling in the background when your lips reach up to meet his.

You had so many questions that couldn’t be answered. 

But maybe it would all be okay.  

Because you could suddenly see the spring again.

a/n: if you made it to the end, thank you for reading :) 

also i tried my best to research as much as i could on all related topics to this work yadaddaa but if there are errors and inaccuracies, i apologize! 

taglist: @elcie-chxn @dearseungie​ 

unable to tag: @flower-lise