#he looks like bigfoot running off

[chevs-and-spiders]

more Rainsford and Zaroff 🥺

i plan to make a small comic of this, so hopefully yea, more rainsford and zaroff :)

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[maybe-a-dinosaur]

seijoh 4 as summer camp employees

hanamaki takahiro is BUILT for this he has fun hair he’s weird he’s engaging his he’s colorful his water bottle is covered in stickers he has sandals on toes Out he is shameless he’s kinda unhinged it so works. he’s a counselor but almost never has a cabin to himself he’s more like a sub if someone else has gets sick or whatever but when he shows up it’s like a celebrity sighting a monumentous occasion. if he’s not needed anywhere else he’s helping out with arts and crafts his favorite artworks are the ones where you can’t tell what the fuck it’s supposed to be. he has lots of string friendship bracelets he knows how to make them but lies whenever someone asks he just gives them one he gatekeeps cuz he thinks it’s funny and teaching is too much work. he tells the most Outrageous ghost stories and is the reason only half of the kids will go in the lake he talks about bigfoot and campers who went missing and the town’s curse he is carrying on legacies he is SO fun.

iwaizumi hajime is the Coolest fucking counselor ever. bandana around his head sleeves cut off of the uniform tshirt (muscle tee now) he has friendship bracelets a beat up watch one anklet his water bottle is on its last leg he has a dinosaur keychain on his backpack he like epitomizes cool guy the kids idolize him. his cabin wins every single camp-wide competition every time like he’s peak athleticism and he’s just like so awesome or whatever it’s contagious. he picks kids up and throws them in the lake and pool if a frisbee gets stuck in a tree he gets it every time he caught a snake once and took it back to the woods everyone wants to sit next to him in the mess hall he can’t build a fire and is mad about it he sleeps like a fucking Rock and snores like a lawnmower and eats enough for 3 people at every meal.

oikawa tooru is a lifeguard. at the pool at the lake he’s always around the water somehow and Everyone has a crush on him. up on his lifeguard chair sunglasses on his skin is all golden whistle around his neck or spinning on his finger his hair somehow always looks good he wears a headband one day and someone literally faints. he teaches swimming and canoeing lessons and is really good at it he almost Never has to save anyone for someone who works by the water you’d think they’d swim a little more. he’s pretty quiet when he’s on duty he takes the job seriously but he’s a fucking motormouth when he’s off that chair he will Not shut up. he sits w the boys at meals running that fucking mouth pisses them off So Bad he blatantly flirts/fights with iwaizumi when the kids aren’t around and Refuses to get into a canoe with him bc it always ends up getting flipped. he’s really good with the younger kids they’re his favorite to work with but he is generally well liked throughout the camp he’s like everyone’s counselor crush and he always eats raisin bran for breakfast.

matsukawa issei is the camp cryptid he works with the older kids who like go backpacking and spend all their time in the woods he emerges looking like he’s been there all his life. he kinda just appears sometimes doing odd jobs taking things to the lost and found feeding the chickens fishing things out of the lake general camp maintenance he materializes out of the trees with a fire extinguisher a neon yellow backpack and a missing camper. he’s often accompanied by the camp dog so there are theories (encouraged by takahiro) that he’s actually a werewolf and that’s why he’s everywhere some people think he is the camp dog issei thinks this is very funny. the only place he’s consistently found is the mess hall at meals otherwise when not wandering or in the forest he can be found hanging out with hiro coming up with new ghost stories playing some sort of sport with hajime or pouring water on tooru’s head wherever he happens to be. issei is the best campfire builder on the property and some of the kids are scared of him he never has his phone can only be contacted by walkie-talkie he is the jack of all trades.

[louloulemons-posts]

Feral Boy

Eddie Munson X Reader

Summary : Just Eddie being his wonderful Munson self.

Word Count : 1.2k

Warnings : not proofread, cuteness, just eddie being a gross boy, kisses, swears, sexual innuendos, petnames (eddie calls reader baby/babe), just eddie being a cute goblin.

A/N : Guys! There’s now 800 of you! This is crazy, I can never thank you enough, I love you all so much 🤍

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

Eddie was strange to say the least. He really didn’t care what people thought of him, he was weird and he loved that. You loved that. However, you genuinely thought his weirdness and his ‘fuck it’ mentality would be the death of him.

These are some of those situations where Eddie was just being his wonderful Munson self.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

“Eddie come on!” you whined, tugging on the boys arm. “No I wanna try!” he argued.

“How many times, those aren’t for you to eat, stop!”

You and your boyfriend had decided to walk through the woods, just wandering. However, Eddie had seen a plant that he thought looked delicious.

“Eds it could be poisonous!”

“But what if it isn’t?”

“But what if it is?”

“We’ll never know if we don’t try!” He pulled out of your hold and ran to the bush.

Popping one of the leaves in his mouth he chewed, his face slowly changing. “How is it?” you teased.

“Tastes like dirt.”

“Who would’ve thought.”

“Yeah yeah okay, you were right.”

“What was that?”

“Oh stop being smug,” he rolled his eyes, pulling you towards him.

The boy attempted to kiss your mouth, but you turned your face, lips brushing on your cheek. “Hey!” he whined.

“I don’t want to taste the plant!”

“You’re horrible to me.”

“Tell you what Munson, you buy me a shake and I’ll kiss you.” Eddie huffed a laugh, pulling you by the hand and through the woods. “Better be the best kiss ever!”

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

Lay on Eddies bed, you were resting your eyes, the day had been long and you were so ready to sleep. Waiting for your boyfriend to get out of the shower, you were lay half on the bed, your feet still on the ground.

You heard the door creak open, Eddies stomping footsteps moving across the room. You did once tell him he was bigfoots son.

“You comfy?”

“Mhm, it’s nice.”

“Baby,” he whispered.

“What?”

“Baby.”

“Eds what?”

“Baby.”

“Munson I swear to god,” you pushed up to be sat on the bed and looked at the boy. All of him, he threw his damp towel in your face.

Cackling to himself, he walked over, shaking his soaking curls all over you. “Eddie!” you squealed. You could feel his bare skin all over you, damp and sticky.

“Get off you big lump!” you couldn’t help but laugh as the boy rubbed his wet hair all over your face. “But it’s so comfy!”

“Jesus christ at least put some pants on!”

“What you don’t wanna see my-“

“Finish that sentence and I’ll chop it off.”

“Fine fine,” giving you a wet kiss on your cheek he climbed off, giggling like a maniac.

“You are something else Edward Munson.”

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

Sat with your knees to your chest, bowl resting on them, as you munched on your cereal. You heard thumping coming from the other room, Eddie was finally awake.

You had tried to wake him up multiple times, however when that boy slept he was dead to the world. He came hoping down the hall, tugging his shoes on.

Running past you, he halted came back, kissed your head and said “Love you.”

“Wait,” you said, pulling on his shirt.

“Babe I’m gonna be late.”

“Just hang on,” you laughed, placing your cereal on the coffee table and standing up.

“Arms out,” you said.

“What? Baby, now is not the time for a quickie.”

“Your shirts backwards Munson,” you smiled, pecking his mouth, “Arms out.”

He chuckled, pulling his arms into his shirt, allowing you to turn it round, before he slid his arms back in.

“There you go.”

“Okay now I need to go.”

“No you don’t,” you said.

“It’s 9:00.”

“It’s 8:30, I put the clock back thirty minutes. So sit, eat.”

“I love you.”

“I know,” you grinned.

“Maybe we do have time.”

“Time for what?”

The boy smirked, tugging you into his arms and throwing you over his shoulder. He took your cereal bowl in the other hand, drinking the milk before dropping it in the sink and running to the bedroom.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

You were walking down the hall, you’d had a free period so decided to swap your books in your locker for your next class. You’d almost made it when someone put their arms around your waist and dragged you backwards.

You screamed as you were lifted from the ground, the door being kicked closed. You began swinging your legs when a familiar voice came, “Chill! Baby it’s me.”

Eddie let go of you putting you down, “You are such an arsehole!” you smacked him with each word. “It was funny baby you have to admit.”

“You gave me a heart attack! You horrible boy.” He pouted at that, putting his hands on your face gently, “I’m sorry.”

“No, no puppy eyes. You really scared me.”

“Please forgive me,” he said, kissing your cheek softly. “It was real mean Eds.”

“I know I’m sorry,” he kept pecking your cheek, even going to your neck.

“Eds,” you sighed.

“Forgive me,” he whispered.

“Horrible boy.”

“I know, but you love me.”

“I do.”

“Forgive me?”

“Of course.” You could feel his grin against your neck, “Don’t you dare.” It was too late, he blew a raspberry against your neck, leaving it covered with his saliva. “You’re so gross!”

“Oh am I?” he laughed, licking your cheek.

“Get off me you little goblin!” you squealed.

“Let me love you!”

“No!” you couldn’t help but laugh as you ran from him.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

You were attempting to do homework, attempting being the key word here. It was near impossible to focus on something when Eddie was around, because of course he always wanted your attention.

You felt a light tug on your hair, “Stop,” you said. You felt his hand leave your hair, leaving you to read something in your text book and take notes, but soon enough another tug came. It was harder this time.

“Munson.”

“What?”

“Stop it.”

“‘m not doing anything.”

“Sure you aren’t.”

Another few minutes passed, then another tug, you slammed the book shut. “Okay I’ll bite you little demon, what do you want?” you turned to the boy, seeing him lay on the bed, smile on his lips.

“Cuddles.”

“I don’t think you deserve them honestly.”

“I do!” he whined.

“No.”

“Baby please, I just … I need some attention please,” he pouted.

“God it’s a good thing you’re cute.” A full grin broke out on his face as you put your textbook on the floor, laying down beside him.

“Can I have scritches please?” he whispered. You opened your arms and the boy moved quickly, one arm wrapping around your waist, face nuzzling into your neck, leaving soft kisses.

You hand tangled in his curls, gently scratching his head. The boy almost purred at the feeling, snuggling in closer. “I love you,” he said softly.

“I love you too silly boy.”

And it was true, although he was strange and weird and a freak or whatever else people called him, you loved him. More than anything.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

Thank you so much for reading! Please leave any requests 🤍

[onwednesdayswewrite]

flawless {vada cavell}

Pairing: Vada Cavell x Reader  

Warnings: smut (18+) smoking weed, vaginal fingering, oral sex, language, talk of the shooting,  joking about the queen of england (please don’t come for me lol rip)

Vada and reader are both 18+ in this

Word Count: 1.7k

hey y’all, I’ve had this one in the works for a while now, but it’s finally done! Next part of this hell with hopefully be done in the next couple of days!

~~~~~~~~

“And don’t even get me started on the Queen like I’m lowkey not even sad she died. No cap, the old bitch definitely had something to do with Diana’s death, that shit is suspicious as fuck” Vada’s rambling trailed off at the sensation of your fingers running up her leg. The prickle of her unshaven legs tickled your fingertips. Her baseball shorts rode up her thighs as she sat on your bed. You were supposed to be getting ready for Nick’s party, but Vada had somehow roped you into smoking before you went so she could chill more.

“Baby, what the fuck are you doing?” You practically jumped out of your skin at the sudden rise in your girlfriend’s voice. The smoke from your joint left the air between the two of you hazy. The mischievous look that filled your face was enough to tell Vada you were up to something.

“Oh I was just wondering when you stopped being my girlfriend and became Bigfoot” you fired back. A laugh fought its way past your lips as one of her eyebrows shot up. Vada snatched the joint from your free hand, narrowing her eyes at you as she took a hit.

“I’m wounded that you tried to use my dude Bigfoot to insult me” Vada was a little out of breath, and her voice scratched as she spoke. Her attempts to contain her cough from the long drag failed for a moment, but it didn’t stop her from taking another hit before handing it back to you.

“Like Bigfoot is THE MAN, he’s my icon, the legend” with each word her voice raised an octave to the point she was almost yelling, her hands waving about to emphasize her point. “I think I might love him” Her voice trailed off to a whisper as she finished, her eyebrows knit together in confusion.

You sat up in bed and leaned on your elbow to look at her. Her eyes were red now, and a dreamy haze seemed to cloud them. She leaned forward to take a drag from the joint still between your fingers, she didn’t pull away though. She seemed to linger for a moment, contemplating her next move. Her lips brushed against yours as she exhaled, milky smoke filled the space between the two of you, and began to enter your lungs. She didn’t move for a moment, allowing you to get the smoke, before she dramatically pushed up from her spot.

“I’ve always wanted to do that” Vada giggled, rolling ungracefully across the bed.

“You are an Idiot, Vada Cavell” you took another hit from the joint before setting it in the ashtray on your bedside table.

“Well, I think you’re beautiful” Vada’s voice shifted when you returned to the bed. All the chatty energy had faded and left something else in its wake.

“Nah, I think you're just high, V” you tried to shake her off, you knew there would be no way you would make it to Nick’s party later if you let her get her way.

“No, I’m being for real y/n, you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen” Vada took your hands, settling them on her hips. From all her moving around, Vada’s shirt had bunched at her waist. The exposed skin of her stomach was warm under your hands.  Her own hands started to caress your back under her soccer championship hoodie.  

“Flattery won’t get you anywhere, V '' but Vada knew she had won when she felt your hands tighten around her waist, pulling her closer. Her lips brushed over yours.  

“Oh I think it will” Her lips were soft and pillowy against yours when they finally met. Your hands left her hips to settle on her neck, tugging lightly on the hair there. Vada’s soft moan vibrated against your lips. You tugged again softly just to hear her moan against you again before you let go. Her dark hair cascaded over her shoulders as your fingers hooked around the tie holding it back.

The taste of weed still lingered on her lips when she finally pulled back to catch her breath. Her hair fell over her shoulders and tickled the side of your neck. Sunlight trickled in through a crack in your curtain. Sometimes when the light hit the brown in her eyes, it turned them almost golden. Like pools of honey. Now, with Vada’s knees on either side of your hips and hands roaming your body as you felt the sun hit your skin, you didn’t want to go to Nick’s party anymore.

You kissed for a while, Vada’s lips never leaving yours for more than a second to catch your breath. You could feel her getting impatient. The way she kept shifting, trying to get you to move your hands a little higher. The way her hands pushed your shirt up until it gathered at your chest. Her fingers played dangerously with the band of your sports bra, just begging you to take it off. And Vada did win as usual, your shirt hitting the floor with a soft thud.

Reality came crashing back to you like a freight train when Vada’s fingertips brushed over the healed gunshot wound on your thigh. A painful reminder of the first day you met Vada all those years ago. Though neither of you talked about it often, the incident left more than just physical scars on both of you. None of you deserve it, but that’s just how the world is now, cruel and unfair. But at least you had someone to weather the storm with.

You could practically hear Vada’s breathy laugh bring you back to the present ‘I can’t believe you just called it the incident’. You remembered the night Vada had told you all about her therapy sessions, including all of the hassle she had put that poor woman through. In this moment, you were thankful the weed allowed your mind to shift easily from the pain. A droopy smile fell on your face at the thought of Vada.

“What’s got you all smiley now” her breath tickled under your nose as her fingers carded through your hair.

“Just thinking about you” you whispered, seeking the side of her neck. Your lips left lazy kisses around her ear. Your body craved her, to feel her touch again.

“Now who’s pulling the flattery card” Vada snorted, her freckle-spotted nose wrinkling against the side of your face.

You too began to grow impatient, and It didn’t take long before Vada’s back hit your mattress. Your heartbeat thudded in your chest as you fumbled to get her stupid basketball shorts and boxers down. Her squirming settled when your hand found her wet heat, her eyes fluttering shut.

“God, you're so wet” you murmured against her lips, but you knew you wouldn't get a response. You never did, not when she was like this. All of her chatty energy and confidence disappeared when she was under you. A whine left her lips when you moved your hand away. But she was settled quickly when her sports bra joined your shirt on the floor

“Fuck” Vada moaned out breathlessly as your mouth closed around her nipple. You take your time there, kissing… and biting just to hear a soft gasp fall from her lips every time. It doesn’t take long before Vada grows tired of waiting. Her hips shifting under you in an attempt to draw your hands back to her. Eventually you did give in to her, and when you did, the moan that fell from her lip when you gently began rubbing her clit was so worth it.

Vada drew your lips back to hers, her hands wrapped in the hair at the base of your neck, tugging you back to her. Her kisses became sloppy, desperate little whines fell from her lips as she gripped tighter at your hair. Her movements became more and more frantic, her hips shifting and thrusting up to meet your fingers on her clit.

“What do you need, baby?” your movements slowed, and the whine that fell from her was almost pathetic. Her hands tugged harder on your hair, her lips brushing against your neck, anything to get you to continue. “You gotta use your words, baby” you prompted again.

“Your mouth” her voice was low as she tried to stop the moan that threatened to fall from her at your slow movements on her clit.

“Good girl” you wanted to tease her, you really did. But Vada’s arousal was almost dripping onto your mattress now, and you felt bad. The stubble of her thighs tickled your cheeks as you placed kisses there. Her hips shifted, she was getting impatient again. Your hand left her clit to hold her hips in place, and she whined at the loss of contact. But you didn’t leave her for long, your tongue soon replacing where your fingers had been. She hummed, finally satisfied with getting what she wanted.

“Jesus” she moaned out, not quite expecting your finger to press against her entrance. Vada’s cheeks flushed with embarrassment with how easily your finger slid in. Her head fell back and she no longer tried to stop her whimpers.  She was a mess under you now as you slipped in a second finger without losing your rhythm. You knew she wouldn’t last long like this. Not with your tongue lapping at her clit too.

Her nails dug into the back of your neck tugging again on the hair, as she tightened around your fingers, she was close now. You curled your fingers, as you sucked gently on her clit. Her thighs were shaking against the side of your head now. You entwined your fingers with hers as she came. Vada let out one more moan as her body went rigid under you.

The California heat combined with your recent activity left you sweating and trying to catch your breath as you rested your head on Vada’s thigh. Her thighs were still shaking under you, and her breaths coming out in pants, jostling you.

“Let's forget about Nick’s party” Vada’s breath was hot against your neck when she finally reached down and pulled you back up to her. But she didn’t have much to worry about, any thought of that party was long gone.

[actual-changeling]

This was supposed to be a short little Folie à Deux meta, but several hours of writing, thinking, and script research later, and suddenly here we are.

Welcome to this glimpse into my insane mind.

So! Let's go on a little journey and discuss the ending of season five, because Folie à Deux not only sets the foundation for The End but actively makes it so much worse than it could have been.

In the previous episodes, Mulder has been ditching her and blowing her off more and more, he keeps doing things behind her back without telling her, they keep having fights about belief vs. hard facts, and then, at the beginning of that episode, what happens?

MULDER: I must've done something to piss him off. SCULLY: What do you mean? MULDER: Get stuck with this jerk-off assignment or have I finally reached that magic point in my career where every time somebody sees Bigfoot or the Virgin Mary on a tortilla I get called to offer my special insight on the matter? SCULLY: You're saying "I" a lot. I heard "we." Nor do I assume that this case is just a waste of our time. MULDER: Not yours, anyway. There's no reason both of us should go to Chicago. I'll take care of it. SCULLY: Mulder! MULDER: I'm monster boy, right?

He actively and intentionally breaks them up against her will. Mulder is making decisions for THEM without consulting or listening to her, and what can she do except let him run off like he so clearly wants to.

Now, what do you think she takes away from that?

After being left in the dark about his undercover mission in the episode before? After Mulder showing her, one way or another, that he does not want to work with her, that he's fine leaving her behind?

But alright, she stays behind, it's simply Mulder being Mulder.

She does the research he asks her to do. She shows up and helps out when he gets taken hostage. She listens to him, tries to understand, she's concerned because he hasn't been sleeping. She does the fucking autopsy even though he went behind her back and tricked her into it. She keeps looking and looking and looking, and by the end, she's not relieved that the case is finally done or that Mulder is no longer actively insane.

Folie à Deux—a madness shared by two, that's what she believes is happening to her, to them.

Shared by two. Scully thinks of them as a pair, a team, an "us" and a "we".

We all know what he tells her when she visits him at the hospital, but let's really really think about the consequences of it.

MULDER: Scully, you have to believe me. Nobody else on this whole damn planet does or ever will. You're my one in five billion.

Yeah, alright, that sounds intensely romantic and affirming of their partnershi— oh that?

Oh, that's Diana. No, I never told you about her even though she's arguably one of the most impactful people in my life. I found the X Files with her, she believes in my theories without giving me any resistance, we were in a relationship, she's back now and I am spending more time with her than with you while ALSO not paying attention to you.

If I will tell you about her now? No. But I WILL treat her like she's my partner and not you.

SCULLY: Say that what you're suggesting were even possible, who'd want to kill a kid whose abilities would offer you the ultimate advantage—I mean in business, in war, in anything? DIANA: Maybe somebody whose business is in keeping secrets. MULDER: Well, let's test him. I think the kid will stand up. Let's run a brain scan and a psych evaluation on him. (looking away) You know what to do, Diana.

Not a single word of recognition towards Scully after the shitshow that just went down with Gibson. Way to go, Mulder, way to go.

On top of that, it is worth mentioning that Fowley calls him by his first name and he calls her by hers. Scully can probably count the amount of times Mulder has called her "Dana" on one hand, and she doesn't call him "Fox" because, and I quote:

MULDER: And I... I even made my parents call me Mulder. So... Mulder.

So, Diana is an exception. Why? Why does she get to call him that? Why she but not Scully?

Why does she get to reappear in his life after leaving without an explanation and have Mulder welcome her back with open arms, offering Scully's position on a silver platter?

Scully needs to ask TLG for help and information about Fowley, and it makes everything so much worse. Within their work-relationship, she's the scientist, that's her job, that's who she is, that's why Mulder needs her, and Fowley isn't one.

Right?

LANGLY: She was there when he discovered the X-Files. She has a background of para-science.

Oh. Oh, okay. Sure.

A big thank you to @sentientsky for sharing the script, which gives us this wonderful additional information:

So, to summarize, she's hot, Mulder's type, has exactly the kind of background that someone working on the X Files needs, and they have an old dynamic to fall back into—a dynamic they fall back into period.

She goes through all that, stays up all night to make sure her evidence is scientifically sound, just for Mulder to not even back her up when Spender and Fowley challenge her.

The script actively states that this is what Diana has been waiting for during the meeting—to refute Scully.

Fowley questions Scully's capabilities as both an agent and a scientist during a meeting right in front of Mulder, and Scully looks at him. She waits for him to say something, to defend her like he usually would, but he doesn't.

He doesn't even look at her.

The betrayal she must have felt, ESPECIALLY after what he told her at the hospital. It's no wonder she writes off anything and everything he says to her when he's injured in some form after that experience.

She needs to make herself believe he was just talking like that because he was having some sort of episode, because what are the other options here?

One in five billion, until someone better comes along?

Until he no longer needs her to do something for him?

Until she has outlived her usefulness and has transitioned from being a vital part of their investigations to being annoying and overly sceptical?

Until it becomes clear that Mulder isn't the issue in their partnership, it's her? That all her fears and anxieties weren't so irrational, after all?

Because it's important to remember that this is the day after she saw him and Diana at the hospital.

After THIS:

How much do you wanna bet that she spent the last, what, twelve hours since seeing them trying to convince herself that it's not what she thinks?

That, of course, Mulder is still her partner. That they're still a team. That she is not an indulgence to Mulder or the X Files, that she belongs down in that basement just as much as he does.

You and me. Me and you. Right? ...Right??

The case goes off the rails, Fowley gets shot, Gibson gets kidnapped, CSM delivers a Star Wars line and later burns down their office.

She stays at his apartment for the night, and we see them interacting when Skinner calls, but Mulder is still not fully acknowledging her. He asks her about Fowley and any news regarding their assignments, but that's it.

No "how are you feeling about potentially getting fired, Scully?"

Now, there's this tiny but important part that they decided to cut, which emphasizes the emotional gap between them; it re-affirms what we have seen for way too many episodes.

Mulder cares about her, but he is completely taking her and the safety she offers him for granted. He is, and I mean this in the least negative way possible, essentially using her as a crutch—without even noticing. Scully notices, though, and in lieu of an explanation from Mulder, she is forced to draw her own conclusions.

I'm going to stay here (your life) if that's okay with you (if you still want me in it).

When they're standing in the ashes at the end, it's just as horrifying and terrible for her as it is for Mulder, and she clings to him for the both of them. She clings to him to keep him from breaking, and he doesn't hug her back.

Scully is giving him her everything, she's trying so incredibly hard to keep him in one piece and soothe his pain, but, tell me, who is taking care of her?

There's a limit, she has reached it, and Mulder doesn't even realize it.

Is he acting maliciously at any point? No, definitely not. However, he is carelessly cruel sometimes, doesn't communicate how much Scully means to him, and simply keeps taking and taking because she keeps giving.

Five years, and yet he still blames and distrusts her when she doesn't immediately jump onto his insect zombie bandwagon. Five years, and never once did he mention the person he found the X Files with. Fowley so easily takes Scully's place and she understandably feels rejected and unloved.

WE know he loves her, yes, but she isn't sure of that anymore. Loving someone comes with feeling comfortable around them and being yourself, yet he is incapable of fully understanding the responsibility they both have to keep each other safe from each other.

Scully is sacrificing herself to keep him from breaking and he does not even notice how she is falling apart right next to him.

[mustainegf]

anything with cliff and reader getting high together and being silly

THIS IS LATE TO BE POSTED CUZ I TOTALLY FORGOT I HAD IT DONE :P

𝟐 𝐈𝐃𝐈𝐎𝐓𝐒 ¹⁹⁸⁵

The sun was sinking below the San Francisco skyline. Normally, the Metallica house hummed with energy, but tonight it was just Cliff and me, in the garage. I mean, the band had been working on new material forever, now it was our turn. Cliff rolled a joint, and we were off and running.

This garage was stuffed with instruments and amps everywhere, with crap all over. Together, the smell of metal mixed with the sweet scent of marijuana. It made me giggle to myself, Lars hated when we smoked in the garage, because it made his drums smell like weed for weeks. I could imagine the Dane getting red in the face, whining that his snare suck like dope.

We were sitting in an old, ratty couch, worn out for sure, but we were laughing and talking on it about nothing and everything.

Cliff dragged on his end of the joint hard, then passed it back to me. His eyes streaming with NOT a care in the world, he said to me, "You know, if I wasn't playing bass, I'd probably be a rocket scientist. I mean, how hard can it be?"

I snorted, nearly choking on my hit. "Oh, totally. You'd be the first rocket scientist with a denim jacket and jeans.”

He laughed again with that deep, infectious laugh I so loved. "Hey, at least with my way, I would look cool.”

I passed the joint back to him and settled back; that warm tingle began spreading through me. "You know, I've been thinking," I said, my words a much slower and softer than usual. "What if aliens are just future versions of ourselves? Like, they're us—a million years from now?”

Cliff's eyes widened, and he nodded wisely. "That makes total sense. That's why they keep coming back… to make sure we don't fuck things up too badly."

We fell into an ocean of giggles, the kind that made your stomach ache and your eyes water. Just then, the garage door creaked open, and James stepped in with an expression on his face that was just plain annoyed.

"What are you two idiots laughing about now? I can hear you from my room," he asked, shaking his head but clearly fighting off the urge to smile at how dumb we were being.

Cliff grinned up at him. "Hey man… You ever seen an alien?”

James raised an eyebrow. "I’m looking at two right now."

I leaned forward, my eyes glinting. "Shut up James… cliff is a rocket scientist..."

James chuckled. "Yeah, and I'm the president."

"No way!" Cliff gave me a high five… for no particular reason. "You'd be the worst president ever. All you would do is drink."

James shook his head again, still smiling. "You guys are hopeless."

I took another hit, then handed the joint over to James, even though I knew he didn’t smoke weed, he was more of a cigarette kinda guy. "Come on, join us. We're on a roll here. Next we're going to figure out if Bigfoot is real."

Shockingly, James took the joint, a rare indulgence, and took a small, weak puff. "Alright, but only if you promise not to make fun of me."

Cliff and I exchanged a look, then burst out laughing.

James plopped down on an amp, relaxing a bit. "So, what's the deal with Bigfoot?"

Cliff leaned back, seemingly to consider it. "Well, obviously he's real. He's just really good at hiding I guess... Like, world champion or some shit."

"Yep," I chimed in, "he's probably just hanging out in the woods, laughing at us as we try and find him."

James shook his head in disbelief, laughing. "You two are nuts. This is why I don’t smoke.”

Cliff put an arm around me and pulled me close. "That's why you love us, man."

James hit the joint again and passed it back to me. "Whatever, no more rocket scientist talk. I can't handle it."

Finally, James stood up and shook his head, almost for the final time. "Alright, I'm outta here."

He left, and Cliff and I burrowed back into the couch, still giggling. "You know," he said in a low voice, "I love being an idiot with you."

[nino-rox]

ANOMALY PART 1

STILES STILINSKI x MALE READER | O

Warnings : None, Teen Wolf AU, Teen Wolf x Original Male Character, Teen Wolf SPOILER ALERT

Disclaimer : This is a Fan-fiction story written for entertainment purposes only, no part of the story implies or affirms anything regarding real world events or individuals. Please be of the appropriate age ( i.e, Adult as per your country’s stipulations and regulations) before interacting with this post.

Author’s Note : the car in the picture below is Y/N’s new car

“Y/N, I’m leaving for work. Make sure you don’t get late for school, and drive safe, honey!” You heard your mom say as you packed your back for your first day of school, “Okay, Mom! Have a great day at work,” You responded.

You had just moved to Beacon Hills with your mom a day ago because of her new job at a hospital here. The school was about 20 minutes from your house, and you’d only visited once before for admission.

You made your way to the main door, manoeuvring between the still unpacked cartons. Your new house wasn’t particularly big, it was a small 2 Bedroom, 3 Bathroom apartment on the 1st floor. It wasn’t fancy, but you liked how the windows opened into an amazing view of the town.

You sat into your new car; it was by far the thing you were the most excited about, after all… that’s how your mom managed to bribe you when you said you didn’t want to move to some small town and leave Los Angeles. Your new car was a Black 5-seat Volvo XC40 Hybrid. It was as beautiful as they come - the best breaks, sexy design, brand new release, Electric + Gas - And it felt amazing to drive.

With those thoughts in mind, you drove off to school.

Your mom had given you strict instructions that if you got caught skipping school, she would ground you until the next semester and take the keys to the car. As you reached the school, reality began to set in. You were in some faraway town, away from home, away from your only close friend, and didn’t know anyone. But at this point, it was nothing new to you. Your mom was a famous double board-certified general surgeon, and thanks to that title, her job always made her move around the country.

Perhaps this was why you looked down at your new school - Beacon Hills High School - it wasn’t as big, pretty, or well-known as your previous one. Still, on the upside, you had heard interesting stories about the place and how “weird” things kept happening, so you at least hoped you’d run into Bigfoot or something on one of your regular late-night walks. ( A/N: LMAO HE ABOUT TO REGRET THAT- Sorry)

As you parked your car, a chill went up your spine. You really had no idea what to expect. You took in your surroundings as you got down; the grass was long and wild, the buildings were old, and everyone was … well… they didn’t have the same flair as people in LA.

Suddenly, your phone buzzed. It was a message from your best friend that said, “Hey, listen, Y/N, I’m super late for class right now. I wish you all the best for the first day at Beacon Hills. Oh, and don’t be a judgmental bitch, please. It is a town, not LA, but I’m sure you’ll survive. Don’t worry, stay safe and DO NOT GO LOOKING FOR DANGER…also, let me know if there are any hot guys. Maybe I can come over then.”

It was crazy how she basically knew what you were thinking, so you sent her a message saying, “No hot guys in sight … not one,” to which she replied, “STFU and get to class bitch.”

And as you walked towards the school entrance, you decided it was time to start working on becoming a bit more social and meet some friends here… or not, because who cares…right…?

As you locked your car and began walking to the entrance, you saw a blue Jeep parked next to it; it looked pretty banged up as if a lion had scratched it. You just hoped they didn’t accidentally scrape your car.

Two boys were getting out of the jeep. One was tall and athletic, the other an inch shorter and much skinnier. They looked around your age and looked like they were talking about something serious.

You continued walking in. Your first class of the day was AP (advanced placement) Biology. As you walked in, you prayed the teacher wouldn’t make you introduce yourself; you weren’t in the mood… but oh well.

The teacher spoke as you walked in, greeting and asking you to introduce yourself to the class.

“Hey everyone, my name’s Y/N Shepherd. It’s a pleasure to meet all of you!” You said as you saw a beautiful redhead who later introduced herself as Lydia Martin smile and wave at you, signalling for you to sit with her.

You welcomed the friendly gesture, smiling back and walking over to her before taking a seat.

“So, pretty boy, where are you coming from ?” Lydia asked. “LA, and thanks, you’re quite beautiful yourself,” you said, winking at her, which made her blush slightly.

You were always good at this part, faking a smile, being all friendly, sweet and social when really you never cared.”

Before Lydia could continue interrogating you, the class started.

Over the next hour and a half, the lecture went by.

After the lecture ended, Lydia told you that she would go find out where your locker was. She also gave you some tips on the teachers she thought would be easy and hard and things like that and warned you to not step out too late in the night in Beacon Hills. She mentioned that sometimes people hung out together outside of school and invited you along.

“Thanks! This will definitely help me fit in better,” you smiled.

Lydia smiled and walked off after showing you to your locker. As you began to open your locker, two boys suddenly ran up to you and held the locker door shut. You turned around, ready to rid anyone of the false notion that they could even try to bully you, but your gaze softened a bit when you saw the two boys from the jeep next to your car,

“Heyyy, man, sorry I kinda put some stuff … uh … in there and forgot to take it out last semester. Could you just give us a bit so we can take it out?” The shorter, skinnier one said, almost suspiciously, as if there was a dead body in there. “So? Take it out now. I need to put my stuff in,” you said, opening the locker as you noticed the taller boy sigh in defeat. Suddenly, your eyes went wide; the moment you opened the lock, a huge, maybe 10-foot iron chain began to fall out; the loud sound even made teachers step out to see what was happening. The skinny boy spoke up, “Yeah …. About that … uh.. we can explain … um, it was,” “Don’t bother, I don’t really care, just get it out before you make me late for class”, you interrupted, visibly mad that the whole school probably thinks “you” were the psycho who had iron chains in his locker - when that really wasn’t the case. “We’re really sorry about this,” the taller boy said, grabbing the chains and leaving you in peace. You were judging…you were really judging them. You didn’t care about the chains, but the fact that everyone’s gonna think it was you.

You made your way to your economics class, and to your most unpleasant surprise, both those boys were in your class. As if it wasn’t bad enough already, only one seat was left, and it was right beside them. You chuckled at the irony of the situation - You didn’t know whether to laugh, cry, or strangle them, so you decided to ignore them and keep it cool.

The class was easy; you already knew everything, so you couldn’t help but get bored. As you began observing the classroom, the skinny boy passed you a chit - you took it hesitantly - it read, “SO SORRY - Stiles.” And had a smiley face drawn next to “stiles,” which made you think. What the hell is a stiles?

You glance back at the boy only to see him grinning at you; at that moment, you feel something - confusion - before you can do anything, you hear the teacher call you to solve a question on the board.

While solving the problem, you kept glancing at the two boys - you could feel their stares burning through your skin. The teacher seemed impressed when you finished solving the question and said, “You see that, Greenberg? That’s how it’s done.” Damn, this man really hates this Greenberg dude, what’d he do? You thought to yourself as you returned to your seat.

You could still feel the two boys staring holes into you; you were beginning to get irritated. You needed to finish some work, and these boys clearly weren’t helping you concentrate.

As you tried to return to your book, the taller boy mumbled something and pointed his finger at you. You were really starting to lose it, but the two boys suddenly got up, telling the teacher they had to go and ran out of the class - what the fuck is wrong with those two, you thought to yourself.

A while later, you were finally done with classes for the day. So far, it had gone well. The teachers liked you, and your classmates did too. The only issue was the whole corridor thing with those two boys, but as long as you stayed away from them, you’d be fine, you thought.

You received a message from Lydia asking you to come to the benches outside the cafeteria. That’s where she was hanging out with her friends after school. You texted back, letting her know you’d arrive in 5 minutes. You were in the mood for a walk and wanted to get some fresh air after that awkward morning.

As you reached the benches, you were absolutely fucking appalled; how is it that wherever you went, you’d run into those two boys - they were sitting next to Lydia - you sighed, taking a deep breath as you walked over, putting on your best smile.

[chasedbyatlantic]

when you wash your hair, joel miller

summary: IN WHICH — you decide to surprise a sleeping joel after you've been working all day outside of jackson's walls, but it doesn't go as you plan.

warnings: gender neutral x joel miller, post outbreak!joel, jackson!joel, mentions of you and joel in a relationship, sub!joel, joel has ptsd, joel almost hurts reader (doesn't tho so dw!), lots of fluff at the end, cute ending, lots of swearing, ellie being annoying as per usual LOL. lmk if there’s anything i missed <3

wordcount: 2.6k

a/n: hiiii this is my very first fic on tumblr! i have been obsessed w/ tlou for the LONGEST time now so why not start writing for my fav fictional mass murderer? anyway- hope u guys enjoy! i plan to post a ton more so stay tuned xoxo

—

You had just finished an ungodly long shift along the outskirts of Jackson, keeping everyone inside safe from- well, whatever lay outside (scary squirrels, mostly). It had been so different since you arrived, with Joel and Ellie. For starters, you weren't kept on edge every single second of every single day - Joel was, which you always got pissed at him for, since you two were more than safe inside these walls. There was also the fact that life had sort of just- resumed, after twenty years of fighting for your life. It was alright, though, a sense of normalcy was nice, even if it were to only last for a little while (you were hoping it lasted forever).

As soon as you were inside the gates of Jackson, you rode over to the stables in which your horse, Leo, was housed at. The big wooden doors were opened by a stable hand that looked no older than Ellie, maybe she knew who this was, you thought to yourself.

You had slid the kid a small "thank you." as they closed the door behind you, and you hopped off Leo. You reached in your bag and scrounged for a second, before pulling out an apple core, the remains of the apple you had eaten earlier. "Here boy," your hand raised towards the horse's snout with the leftovers in-palm, and he took it as if it were the best thing in the world.

Leo munched away while you swapped his bridle for a halter and lead, tugging him to his freshly-mucked stall. He had walked over to his water bucket and you moved with him, undoing his girth and removing his saddle. It was hoisted over your arm as you moved out and locked his stall. "Excuse me," You called over to the stable hand that had let you in as you put all of his tack on the stand in front, "Do you mind brushing him down for me? I've had a long day and gotta get home quick."

The kid nodded their head eagerly, which had earned a smile from you. You weren't lying about having a long day or needing to get home quick - besides, you had always stayed after your shifts, right now you were just craving to see your favourite person (and a warm bath too, you had guessed).

You had removed your gloves as you took one last glimpse at your boy before you left him to be taken care of by the stable hand. As you walked out of the stable, you were greeted with a nice breeze. It wasn't exactly winter yet, but it sure as hell wasn't summer. Autumn was close on finishing, which only meant the days were getting longer.

It took you a mere twenty five minutes to walk back to the Miller residence. If you had a little pep in your step, it would've taken no longer than fifteen. But, being up since before sunrise has its cons. Anyway, it isn't your fault that Tommy and Maria (Joel's brother and new sister-in-law) placed you guys in the farthest house literally ever.

As you approached closer to the home, you could see the familiar little (she would kill you if she heard you describe her as little) girl. The girl took notice of you too, "Fucking finally!" Ellie had kicked up her skateboard, grabbing the tip of it, and came running over. "Jesus Christ, I thought you had got eaten by like- fucking bigfoot out there!", She seemed to be only half-joking.

"I was not eaten out there, Ellie." You sigh as you messed her hair up slightly with your hand, "Is Joel still out on patrol?" You had asked the girl. Her face dropped, earning an "ugh!" from her. "You two love birds are gross. You should care more about me than him! He's a frail, broken, old man while I'm a super cool, and totally awesome young person." You rolled your eyes, an automatic laugh escaping your lips. "Another half an hour out here, Elle. It's almost sundown- and please be careful, for fuck sakes. I don't want to be popping your kneecap back in place because of a fall off that- board."

You weren't Ellie's mom, and you didn't mean to take any place of a motherly figure in her life - it just, sort of happened. After what had happened in Salt Lake City a year ago, and you had fought for Ellie back alongside Joel, you couldn't help but grow so much more attached to her- you and Joel both. This is when your motherly instincts (you were never a mother, not before or during this apocalyptic world) kicked in. You both shared a special bond, one that would never be broken, despite the cruel world you both live in.

A small grunt and a "fine" escaped the girl's lips as she flips her board down and kicks off down the street. You shake your head with an almost disapproving look and walk down the rest of the block to your home. A small smile plays upon your lips as you approach the house with a mailbox at the bottom of the driveway that reads "MILLER". Your last name was not Miller, but you were in a relationship with a Miller, so that could maybe, in the slightest, count as your name too.

Your hand brushed past the rusted metal box as you walk up the paved drive way, you're excited to see Joel. Hell, it feels like it's been an eternity since you've seen that man - when in reality, it's only been since this morning. You climb up the wooden stairs at the front of your porch and remove your boots before entering the house - this saved horrid amounts of mud that would scatter in the small foyer of your home. Once your feet are out of your dirty boots, you silently enter the home.

The door was never locked, not when Joel knew you or Ellie weren't home. You didn't know why he kept it unlocked- maybe in case something had happened and you needed to get home fast, or in case you would lose your keys while out and about. It wasn't that big of a deal, though; nobody else lived in this part of the town (besides Tommy and Maria, who were distant neighbours).

It was dead silent when you entered, too eery for your liking. "Joel?" You called out as you shrugged off your autumn layers. No response. "Joel?" You call out once again, moving to where you had seen the light. You approached tip-toeing, starting to get a bit on edge. Joel was always there to greet you when you got home, unless he had patrol duty himself. As soon as you step foot in your living room, all of the previous worries you had melted away as you saw your favourite person curled up on the arm chair, sitting back and mouth open slightly. You wish you had a camera, god a polaroid of this would be amazing.

You approached him, quiet as ever, sliding the sleeves of your soft-knit sweater over ninety percent of your hands. You had brought your face closer to Joel's once you were close enough. The smell of his vanilla and rose scented shampoo had engulfed you. Joel said he hated it (in reality, he definitely did not), but if it made you love him a little more, he would wash his hair with it.

"You're perfect, you know that." You whisper to him, even though he was sound asleep. From the faded freckles over the bridge of his nose from being out in the sun too much this summer, to the small scars that littered his forehead from years of just surviving, he was perfect.

You breathed hushly as you moved your hands up to his face, to cup his cheeks. You thought it was perfect, for him to wake up to you (as if he didn't every morning) at this moment. You knew he missed you when he wasn't with you, he told you multiple times. This would be a nice thing to make his day slightly better, you had thought. Your fingers made soft contact with the flesh on his face - but, this is where it all went wrong.

Joel had shot up from the deep (well, you thought deep) sleep he was in and grabbed the hands that were touching his face. It hadn't registered to him that it was actually you who was touching his face, and not a clicker, or a raider, or anything else. Rage and a sense of fear filled his eyes as they shot opened, eyebrows furrowed as they looked around frantically - he was ready to fight.

A loud grunt and an "ow." escaped your lips once your hands were grabbed and yanked. It had happened within a blink of an eye. You weren't exactly in the mood for getting manhandled in this current moment, but here you were. "Joel- hey, hey, it's just me. You're okay." You spoke quick, trying to pry him off your hand.

It was now that his eyes had met yours, and it took him a moment (which felt like eternity) to process it was you. "Baby.." His grip immediately loosened and his eyes fell. He looked horrified, at himself rather than anything. "M'sorry." There was a tone in his voice that made him sound ashamed, like he had just broken bad news to someone he loved.

"Don't apologize to me, Jesus Christ." You spoke almost too fast and brought your hand to his face again, you felt bad for scaring him awake- your plan had massively backfired. It took Joel a minute before he melted into the touch of your hand in his cheek, something he will only do when it is only you and him around each other. "Shouldn't have been sleepin' while you weren't home." He muttered, his eyes looking everywhere but at yours.

Your heart ached, he shouldn't feel like this- fuck, you're so stupid for doing this you thought to yourself. "Don't apologize baby, hey-" You brought his focus to you, and only you, "-listen, you're alright, okay? We're safe here, you know. I'm safe, Ellie's safe, you're safe." You reassured the man in front of you. "If you want to sleep all day without a care in the world, you can do it."

Joel was being extremely vulnerable right now- and he knew that you sensed it. This part of him never came out, he was always the strong one in the relationship (not that you weren't, he just had that aura linked to him). Your finger rubbed back and forth over his cheek. "M'sorry for waking you from your nap- I was just too jealous of how peaceful you looked. All comfortable in your blue sweater.." your eyes started to trail down his body right in front of you, "-your sweatpants.." you snapped yourself out of the trance you had fallen in, your eyes reaching back up to Joel's.

He was just quiet, in his own thoughts. "Ya'know I love you." you told him. He looked like he snapped out of his own thoughts once you said this to him, the smallest smile known to man appearing on his face (it was genuine, though). "I know, darlin'." This was your cue, you reached forward and placed your lips onto Joel's. Now this, this was home- god, you could've had your lips on his all day for eternity. Joel melted into the kiss, and placed one of his hands on your thighs.

Things had got heated between the two of you within seconds, suddenly the positions were switched and you were straddling Joel on the armchair in your living room. It wasn't until you tore apart from his lips that it hit you. "Ellie’s going to be home soon, baby. We can't have her catching us like this- not again." You tell him as you catch your breath. His lips find your neck, he only hummed in response. After a moment of no proper response from him, you tap his shoulder, "Seriously, Joel!". He had grunted, basically forcing himself off of you. "So let her see us, not like she don't know 'bout it." He muttered, leaning back in the chair you two were in. "Oh, suddenly you're mister PDA?" You asked as you got up, stretching.

He said something under his breath that you couldn't catch, but chose not to pressure him about it. "But hey.." You grab his hand and help him up, "Maybe you could help me in the shower, hm? Let me borrow some o' that good smellin' shampoo ya' got? Wash my hair for me?” Your eyes met his, a smile completely lighting up your entire face. "I'on mind, doll. Maybe you could help me with a few things too," He reaches down, pressing a wet kiss onto your lips.

You take this as the perfect time to slip your fingers between his, and lead him up to the second floor of your large house. Even though you had completely scared the shit out of Joel earlier, and you thought you were a dead man for a split second, he forgave you. He always forgives you - this is why you love him.

Joel had promised you that he would always stay, no matter what had happened between you two. After years of being together, through your ups and your downs, through your serious arguments and your little scares (like this), he was yours. Joel was always yours, and you were always his.

You two come laughing down the stairs, completely soaked from the shower you had taken together. Joel was back in the clothes he wore when you got home, and you were changed into one of his shirts and a pair of sleeping shorts you had. He had his hand in yours as you lead him down the stairs. Before you could even step foot on the first floor, an "ew!" was yelled by a familiar voice.

"That is fucking disgusting- I cannot believe it! I can't leave you two together for more than thirty minutes before you turn into fucking rabbits. I may as well start thinking about names for the baby!" Ellie over exaggerates, acting completely disgusted from you and Joel holding hands.

Joel shoots Ellie a death glare as he drops his hand from yours momentarily, about to open his mouth before you interrupt. "Do I need to send you to your room, or something? You're so fucking crazy Elle!" You had let the little nick name slip out of your mouth, "You know I would never do anything unholy under the same roof as you." Well, you weren't lying. You and Joel never did it while Ellie was there, you didn't want anyone hearing what happened while you two were alone.

"Don't care, that's gross! Dinner is already made, I am GOING TO BED!" She had yelled as she was already half way up the stairs to her room on the second floor. Joel's hand snaked around your waist from behind as you tsk. "We got stuck with the most batshit crazy kid, I'm telling you."

Joel's hand tightens a smudge when you say that, "I love her though, and you I guess." He rests his head between the crook of your neck and slightly lets go once you add that. Even after the little bicker between the teenager, you couldn't help but smile to yourself.

Even though you were in the midst of an apocalypse, life couldn't have been anymore good to you. They gave you Joel, and you were content - more than content - with it.

—

when you wash your hair, matt maltese

[polarspaz]

InfectionRE AU Tidbits #2

Another eccentric solider living at the base with Leon is named AJ. He's from Maine and he works security during the night shift, specifically from the rooftop outside.

Leon stays up late, ((He is more active at night)), so he often encounters AJ when he's looking for some fresh air. Sometimes Leon will even keep him company, help him chase away the hours of tedium with some idle chat.

It's during one of these conversations that Leon learns about AJ's obsession. Cryptids, Bigfoot especially.

The first time it's brought up AJ explodes into this literal hour long rant about his theories and various stories he's head. In fact the main reason AJ accepted this job was because of it's remote location. Which, according to AJ, was prime Bigfoot real estate.

Leon doesn't really buy it, but he plays along, knowing AJ likes to talk about it. ((plus the stories, Leon finds, are ironically really entertaining)) However his opinion changes only a few months later.

One night, Leon goes into the woods with AJ to collect some trail cameras he put on some trees outside the perimeter. Leon hates the cold, but he hates boredom even more, so he shuffles behind AJ even though his teeth and pincers are rattling.

It's pretty uneventful until they come across the third camera. Just as AJ is about to take it down from the tree, Leon notices the lack of life around them. The constant noises of the forest, birds calling, animals playing, bugs singing, they were all gone. Nothing left but suffocating silence.

Before he can make a remark, an inhuman scream shatters the stillness around them. Leon has heard nothing like this before in his life, and he's heard a lot of crazy sounds. Zombie moans, Licker shrieks, Birkin's guttural wheezing and roars, hell, even some of the noises he made freaked him out.

But this scream, someting about it scares the hell outa him. Whatever made it sounds at least a mile away and he wants nothing more than to turn tail and run in the opposite direction.

He looks down to see AJ is crouched next to him, completely still and looking straight into the dark woods with wide, trembling eyes. He opens his mouth to say something when the scream bellows out into the night again, only this time it sounds like it's only 100 yards away.

Leon doesn't think himself a coward, but every single one of his instincts is screaming, RUN. DEATH. DANGER. RUN. RUN. Even more disturbing was the fact these feelings were coming from him and not the Plaga. ((which is starting to get scared now that Leon is freaking out.))

After the second scream, AJ takes off like a shot and Leon follows right after him. The rapidly encroaching sounds of the twigs snapping and guttural panting is all the encouragement Leon needs to just pick up AJ and run even faster.

They make it back to base in less than five minutes.

The whole time AJ was chanting, "Run faster! faster! OHFuck-Fuck-FUCKOHGOD-!" and he only stops when Leon dumps him onto the floor, slams the door shut, and slumps against the wall gasping for breath.

-Leon and AJ tell no one. When they go back to the same spot the next morning the cameras are missing. The animals and noises are back but some of the trees look like they were violently ripped in half. Even with his mutated strength, there was no way Leon could even do that himself, so what the hell did?!?!?!?

Was it....BIGFOOT!?!?!

[spectralscathath]

Tour Guide to the Unexplained- A Gravity Falls Fanfiction

Chapter 1: Pines vs Gnomes

Stan and Ford didn't expect much when getting shipped up to Gravity Falls to stay with estranged family. Not gnomes, not a town full of secrets, and definitely not the Mystery Shack and their lying uncle who runs it. But with Ford's smarts and Stan's punching, there's no mystery they can't solve.

Ao3 Link

Stan didn't know what he expected of the old guy Shermie called their Grunkle Dipper, but it wasn't what they got. Ford closed the door to their new attic bedroom as Stan stood in the middle of the room, looking between the two beds. Not bunk beds. Nothing like home. 

The silence was thick, so Stan broke it with a laugh. "What a load a' hokey, whaddaya think, Sixer?"

He expected Ford to start laughing and making fun of all those stupid 'exhibits' in the tourist trap their grunkle called the Mystery Shack. Fake cursed stuff, fake monsters, and fake ghosts. Fake and fake and fake.

Ford wasn't laughing. He stomped past Stan and threw his backpack and duffel bag at one of the beds, immediately claiming the left side of the room for himself. 

Stan picked anxiously at the edge of his wrist brace, unsure what to do with himself as he stood in the middle of the room. "Sixer?"

" What , Stan?" Ford snapped, already climbing onto his bed and emptying out his stuff with less care than usual.

"Is this 'cuz I called it hokey? I know you like this stuff, Ford, but that's all definitely fake down there-"

"I hate it." Ford growled out, gripping his typewriter as he pulled it out of his backpack. Dad was never able to pawn it, so it became last year's birthday present. 

"You hate it?" 

"Yes! There's actual real anomalies and stuff out there- we saw the Jersey Devil for cryin' out loud- and he's making a big stupid joke outta it!" Ford's face went red with anger, six-fingered hands shaking. "Outta freaks!"

Stan got the jolt that he needed to move, scrambling up onto Ford's bed with him and shoving his shoulder against his twin's. "Kay then, let's go kick his butt about it."

"Stan!" Ford instantly looked stricken. "We can't do that!"

"Why not?" Stan punched his fist into his palm and winced at the twinge of pain in his bones. "He's made you feel bad so he gets the left hook. Them's the rules."

"He's an adult."

"Adult, schmadult-" Stan waved off. "Screw that-"

"And mom said you can't punch anyone for another week until you get the brace off."

"Then I'll kick him! Ka-pow!" Stan kicked his feet out in demonstration of his awesome fighting moves and Ford snorted, giving him a small shove. 

"He's twice your size, knucklehead."

"So we'll team up," Stan shoved him back. "Kings of New Jersey, right?"

"Kings of New Jersey," Ford repeated, already looking less mad. Sad. Smad. "We still can't fight an adult though."

"Sure we can! I'll trip him and you jump on his head when he's down-"

"Stanley," Ford rolled his eyes, but he was smiling, so that was a plus. That was Stan's job. They only ever had each other, and they only ever would, because neither of them would ever have any friends, but that didn't matter, and this was why. Things were always better when you had a twin to have your back. 

"Okay, okay. But he can't make us work here. He's got that cashier and that handyman guy, and he has to run tours, so we can just run off in the woods. It'll be fun, let's find Bigfoot."

"Do you think he'd be out here?" Ford's eyes lit up and he scrambled for his notepad and pencil, already scribbling a vague map of the area from his recollection of the trip from the bus stop, probably. Ford's brain was so cool, he had to be the smartest person in the history of ever. 

"Sure, it's forest-y." That was his thing, right?

"Then let's find Bigfoot." Ford grinned and hopped off the bed, flicking the collar of his jacket up like he was an adventurer. A real one, not the fake kind Grunkle Dipper dressed up as. 

"Bigfoot!" Stan jumped off and threw his fists in the air. "Let's go!"

"C'mon, Stanley, you gotta wear a jacket."

"Nah, sleeves are for nerds."

"Hey!" Ford punched his arm, grinning bright. "Don't call me a nerd, goober."

"Don't call me a goober, nerd!"Stan punched him back and ran out the door, past their grunkle's bedroom with its big 'no kids allowed' sign, and down the stairs, taking a big jump over the last two, nearly crashing into Dipper at the bottom.

"Whoa-" Dipper darted back, holding something behind his back. He was still dressed like some Indiana Jones rip-off, like he should be diving into old cities for gold but here he was, running a tourist trap. "You're in a rush, what's going on?"

"We're Bigfoot hunting!" Stan blurted out.

"Can it, Stan!" Ford ran down to join him and slapped a hand over his mouth. "We're gonna go exploring- EW, STANLEY!" He ripped his hand away as Stan finished licking his hand. 

Dipper stared at them before shrugging. "Yeah, I was the same at your age. Just don't go too far, alright? Oh- and hang up these signs, while you're out there." He pulled out a hammer and signs from behind his back and tossed them down. 

"What?" Stanley stuck out his tongue even as he caught the hammer, Ford fumbling the signs as they clattered on the carpet. Heh, and mom thought Stan needed to wear glasses more. Lame. "But we're exploring."

"Explorers have to mark their trail, don't they?" Dipper grinned and struck a pose, tipping his hat. "As this town's resident monster hunter, paranormal investigator, and Tour Guide to the Unexplained-" if Ford didn't hate it, Stan woulda applauded the showmanship- "I'd know."

Ford bent down to pick up the signs, grumbling under his breath. Dipper didn't hear, but Stan did. 'Faker' was accurate. 

Stan spoke over him to prevent either from getting in trouble. "We'll hang up the dumb signs."

"Yep." Dipper patted them both on the head as he walked by. Stanley tried to scrub his hair clean of the touch. What was that for? "Don't get too disappointed if you don't see Bigfoot today, alright? Gravity Falls is a pretty sleepy town. Be back by dinner!"

"We will!" Stan only lied a little, following Ford out through the gift shop, past Carla reading a music magazine behind the register, past Boyish Dan lifting boxes out of Dipper's beat-up old pick-up truck, the faded blue paint chipped and dented, and past the attached shed where Waddles Jr. took pictures with tourists.

Ford stopped at the edge of the trees, the signs gathered in his arms before he handed them to Stanley. "We'll show him. Let's find that Bigfoot."

"Yeah! Let's show this place how we do things in Jersey!"

#

Gnome bites really hurt. Were they venomous? Surely not, but maybe he should test their wounds for toxins? Even if there wasn't venom, there could be bacteria! Who knew what gnomes ate- and Ford bet they didn't even brush their teeth. "What if we get some magic gnome disease?"

"Uh- soup, I guess?" Stanley carried most of Ford's weight as they limped out of the woods, covered in twigs and dirt and a lot of scratches. "Mom always makes soup when we get sick."

"Yeah. Soup is a primitive but effective cure for ailments." But it wouldn't be Mom's soup out here. "Where did you even get that switchblade?" And how did Ford not know about it? Tying a knife to a possum was one thing when they were nine- but Stanley had a switchblade and Ford didn't know about it.

"Nicked it when we were packing." Stanley shrugged as if that wasn't the scariest thing Ford had heard and they just stumbled on gnomes making abduction plans. Didn't Stanley remember getting grounded for a whole summer? 

"But, Dad'll be so mad-" 

 "Dad won't notice." Right, with the renovations. With all the asbestos and lead paint the city was making him get rid of, a single switchblade might not be missed. He could see Stanley's logic, but he still wasn't sure. And it didn't answer his real question anyway.

"So… why did you take it?" 

"I dunno- in case of mountain lions? Or bears? Maybe there's wolves out here!" Stan grinned, a gap in his teeth. "And definitely for scaring gnomes. Did you see that guy's face?"

"Yeah," Ford laughed because it seemed like the right response, still uneasy. "I'm glad they didn't chase us too far. I wish we could have caught one though, just to show Dipper."

"Let's go do that tomorrow. They look pretty small, and pretty stupid, so you should figure out a trap easy." Stan gave him a friendly squeeze. They didn't hug so much anymore, Ford missed it. All part of growing up though, that's what this trip was about. Toughening up and becoming real men, dad said. Learning how to pull their weight instead of letting other people carry it. Speaking of-

"I think I can walk now." Ford pulled away and tested his foot. Still hurt a bit, but felt better. "Thanks, Stan."

"Hey, that's what I'm for, Poindexter," Stan grinned and reached into the back of his jeans. "And look! We didn't lose Grunkle Dipper's hammer either!"

"Yeah, and we found this too." Ford smiled and reached into his jacket, pulling out the diary they'd found. It was definitely a girl's diary, neon purple and covered in sparkles and puffy stickers that were peeling off and a painted-on shooting star that trailed rainbows. The big number 3 inside the star was what really held his attention. Were there other diaries? The writer's name was missing, and the pages stopped halfway through, and the scratch-and-sniff stickers on each page had lost their sniff, and the entries grew increasingly paranoid. He wondered where the writer was now. Were they the ones who left all those scratches on every tree around the Shack?

There were so many questions. He had to know more.

"Do you think that diary's right about 'Gravity Falls having a secret hidden dark side'?" Stan did a pitch perfect impression of Ford, spinning the hammer his hand and nearly dropping it on his sneakers.

"It was right about gnomes in the forest," Ford shrugged, flipping through. Some of the illustrations were wacky and cartoony, some were more realistic, some had googly eyes glued on, and all of them were the coolest things he'd ever seen. He liked the stickers too, some of them were cute, but he couldn't admit that. Stickers and cute things were for girls. 

"Are you gonna show Grunkle Dipper?" 

Ford hesitated, an inexplicable feeling of being watched settling right between his shoulders. He turned around, looking at the forest behind them and didn't see anything. 

Waddles Jr. oinked loudly from his pen, making Ford jump and Stanley laugh at him. Stupid pig. Why did Grunkle Dipper even have a pig? It was so big too, he thought pigs were supposed to be smaller.

No. He didn't want to tell Grunkle Dipper. Dipper wouldn't understand, he'd just use it to make more fake anomalies. He wouldn't believe it. He wouldn't believe Ford. He might even laugh at him for carrying around such a girly-looking book.

Ford put the diary back into his jacket and looked at Stan. "I don't want to tell him."

"Cool, super twin secret." Stan agreed immediately, holding up his braced hand. "High six?"

"High six," Ford smiled and gently tapped his palm against Stanley's, careful not to aggravate his healing wrist. Stan said it was a boxer's fracture, and he complained about it hurting after a boxing lesson, so it had to be. Stan was a good liar, way better than Ford ever could be, but after the Jersey Devil incident, he'd agreed to never lie to Ford again. 

The bell jingled as they entered the Mystery Shack, closed for the day and devoid of suckers for their Grunkle to swindle, Carla the cashier and Boyish Dan the handyman already gone home for the day. Just them and their Grunkle, the conman.

"Wow. What happened? You two look like you got in a fight with a- a wolverine? Or something?" Dipper stood up from where he sat behind the counter, his hat hanging over the register. Ford hadn't noticed the little tree pin on the hat's band before. 

"You should see the other guy." Stan slapped the hammer on the counter, following Ford towards the house section of the place. Ford didn't want to talk to their Grunkle, he just wanted to check his gnome bites and read the diary until his eyes fell out. 

"Uh- hey!" Dipper called after him, and they both stopped. Dad made sure they had manners, after all. Dipper cleared his throat, tapping his pen against his chin. "Listen- I know this was last minute, but I want you two to have a good summer. Tell you what: you can both pick something from the gift shop as a welcome present, on the house."

"Really?" Did he think he could bribe them into liking him?

"What's the catch?" Stan asked, instantly suspicious. Dad would never allow that. The only way he ever gave stock to them was as a birthday gift if he hadn't been able to sell it and didn't think anyone would ever buy it. They didn't get very many birthday gifts from him. Ford's typewriter had been the first in two years. 

"No take-backsies?" Dipper chewed the top of the pen- gross- and shrugged. "No swaps, how about it?"

"Deal!" Stan nodded and dove into the aisles, Ford following behind at a sedate pace. Just one thing? But there was so much choice, so much stuff that was weird for a gift shop to have. He could see socks, bookmarks, mystery gift bags, survival kits, all sorts of gemstones and crystals, weird runestones, keychains, power tools, snow globes, Waddles Jr. bobbleheads, question mark headbands, bottles of formaldehyde, fake cyclops skulls, baseball hats, postcards, toys, t-shirts, salt and pepper shakers, jars of fake body parts…

He stopped in front of the grappling hook box and stared at what was in the next basket, 'world's strongest magnets!!' emblazoned on the packaging. Seeing the two next to each other was like a localised lightning strike of inspiration, his brain sparking with an idea, a need to create. Not the grappling hook- too unsafe- but the general shape…

"Can I have these magnets?" He grabbed them and held them up to show Dipper. 

"That's a good choice," Dipper leaned over the counter to see. "Just don't aim them at your fillings and you should be fine."

"We don't have fillings." They were still losing all their milk teeth, after all. Dad said they wouldn't need to waste money on dentists until they had teeth worth losing. It was factually incorrect, but their father was not a man to argue with.

"Then you're good to go." Dipper smiled at him as Stan ran out from the aisles. "Whatcha got there, Stan?"

"Smoke bomb kit!" Stan yelled excitedly.

"Not like- brass knuckles?" Ford blinked in confusion. There were probably some for sale in this place. Stan was good at punching. 

"I'm gonna make smoke bombs!"

"Have fun with those." Dipper popped on his hat. "I'm gonna feed Waddles Jr., be ready for dinner in ten."

There was a moment where Ford wanted to tell him everything, that the gnomes were just outside the treeline, that they got into a big fight with a whole colony of them after Stan fell into their cave and saw them practicing their human disguise, that they got away with just a few bites and scratches. 

Ford wanted to tell Dipper that the supernatural was real, the anomalies he sold to tourists as a hoax were real , but all he had to go on were some bitemarks and the diary of a mad artist. 

And Dipper would probably just blame squirrels for the bitemarks. Just like everyone else always blamed clumsiness for everything else. 

No. Ford couldn't trust Grunkle Dipper, who only Shermie spoke fondly of and no one else in the family had seen or talked about in years. Grunkle Dipper wasn't someone he could trust. No one was.

Except Stan. 

Ford tucked his magnets next to the diary and ran upstairs to join his twin, head spinning with a million questions and a deep, burning surety that he could find the answers himself.

#

Dipper waited for all the lights to go out before he slipped out of the Mystery Shack, a denim jacket thrown over his pajamas as his boots crunched on the dirt, vanishing into the woods under the full moon. 

He hopped down into the gnome caverns, the moss springy under his feet. "Hey, you gnomes! I wanna talk to whoever's in charge!"

Gnomes popped out of every crevice- he nodded once in respect at Schmebulock, who nodded back- and one of them pushed through the gathering crowd until he stood on a rock that put him just at Dipper's knee height. 

"Well- since the old queen got eaten by a badger and we're looking for a new one, I'm currently the one giving orders." He flicked his suspenders with a smile that Dipper wanted to punt. "Name's Jeff. And you're-?"

Dipper lifted his bangs in answer, watching the gnome horde start chattering nervously amongst themselves. Yeah. He wasn't thrilled about his reputation with the secret side of Gravity Falls either. Still- it could be useful. 

"There were two human kids today." Dipper dropped his hair and crossed his arms, cutting in before Jeff could start talking more. "I want everyone in the forest to know not to hurt them. They're my nephews."

"Well- they caused some trouble in our territory, so you see, we had to-"

"No. Don't care, not interested." Dipper reached into his jacket and pulled out his flashlight, brandishing it like a weapon at Jeff, the crystal attached set to 'shrink'.

"Now hold on-"

"Tell everyone in the forest: no one messes with the Pines twins. Or else I start showing real attractions again." Which would tank his profits unless he picked very carefully, and would be more trouble than it was worth, but the forest didn't need to know that.

"No- no, we're all fine and dandy with how things are!" Jeff laughed nervously, waving his hands. "Alright, gnomes! You heard this guy, no one kills the new kids! Someone go tell the manotaurs!"

"You do that." Dipper started walking towards the exit, throwing out one more suggestion for the road. "And don't kidnap anyone this summer, alright? It's seriously messed up when you do that."

Stepping out of the gnome cavern had him drawing his jacket tighter and doing up a few buttons to ward off the feeling of being watched. He could hear the faint rustling behind him of a hundred gnomes rushing off in every direction, the wind catching in the pine needles, and it sounded like an echo, laughter in the back of his head. 

He left the trees and returned to the Shack, past Waddles Jr., and into the gift shop. The boys were- well, a setback, but one he could work around. He just had to keep them alive for the summer and send them home in one piece. Why did he even agree to this? Didn't matter, he did, just had to work with it now.

The vending machine slid open with a hiss. Just one small setback. Mabel would understand. She just had to wait a little longer.

He wasn't going to let the rest of the family ruin things.

[m-y-fandoms]

COMMISSION: Kokichi Ouma dating a taller woman (headcanon list + drabble)

Word Count: 1.4K words approximately

Warnings/Details: SFW was requested, so any NSFW headcanons would have to be a separate piece. Expect fluff, romance, and possible unhealthy relationship elements because it’s Kokichi, but still SFW overall.

(A taller woman is defined here as literally even an inch taller than him, all the way up to a major height difference. I’ve dated a man only an inch shorter than me and definitely noticed that inch difference so we have a wide height range to work with here! I personally am imagining a woman at least a good five inches taller than him in my mind, but again, anyone taller than him in any way would work!)

As friends before you two were officially dating (but he had a crush on you):

Kokichi is definitely the type to tease and pick on the people he likes. It might even be hard to tell he has a crush on you because he’s mischievous and obnoxious with everyone. Depending on your personality type, you might enjoy just having his attention so often or, you might think he hates you or is just trying to bully you.

If you respond by liking the attention or teasing him back, he would get super confident and a little more touchy each time. It would become increasingly obvious that he’s flirting with you.

If you responded by pulling away or getting offended, he would become frustrated. In his mind it would be obvious that he likes you. Why else would he be giving you so much of his precious time and attention??? He would be a little whiny when you responded poorly or eventually feel the need to explain that he really likes you, but he would hate having to explain it. His cheeks would get all red, he’d roll his eyes, talking to you like you’re some idiot for not picking up on his cues.

Kokichi lies to everyone, even himself, so even though he acts like his height doesn’t bother him and even might joke about it sometimes, it probably bothers him at least a tiny bit deep down. He doesn’t make it a focus in his life but doesn’t like when people point it out, even if he plays it off and has a sarcastic rebuttal for them.

Therefore, when he finds himself crushing on you, a woman taller then him, he for sure would use your height to tease you. If he’s going to feel insecure, then everyone’s going to feel insecure. He doesn’t want you to think his height matters/is a flaw, so him teasing you will prove he’s confident in himself, right?

You’d definitely hear a bunch on uncreative jabs and nicknames: tree trunk, giraffe, skyscraper, stretch, bigfoot, lamp-post, daddy long legs, gigantasaurus, Goliath, stilts, rooftop, and so on and so forth.

He might surprise attack you, running and jumping onto your back and latching on. Whether or not this takes you down to the ground or you carry him around like a baby sloth matters little to him.

After you two start dating:

Sometimes, he will like to prove implicitly that he is not weak and not to be looked down upon for his size…

When you two are alone, he sometimes will pull at your hair or the collar of your shirt to bring you down to his height so he can kiss you or whisper in your ear. 

He likes to put you in physically uncomfortable positions to fluster and corner you. Feeling like he’s in control and can make you nervous excites him.

He will corner you in hallways, push you up against walls and trap you in between his arms.

He’s much stronger then he looks, but like with most aspects of Kokichi, what you see initially, isn’t always what you get.

When you two are alone in his room, he will cage you below him on his bed to kiss you, hold you down, be more assertive and initiate make-out sessions.

If you’re sitting together talking or playing games, he might pull you onto his lap, reassuring you in his own immature, aloof way that you’re not too heavy for him.

The teasing never stops, and certainly not in public. Kokichi isn’t one to bring down his walls and be vulnerable and romantic in front of others. Protective, possessive, or jealous maybe. He reserves his true feelings and mushy moments for when you two are alone, and threatens you with death should you tell anyone.

If he does let out some PDA with you, it’s purposely to fluster you or scare away others that he thinks are interested in you.

Also, he’s very much the “Only I can make fun of Y/N” or “Only I can hold Y/N’s hand” type of boyfriend, especially if you’re insecure about your height already. He gets clingy and jealous even when you’re just being platonic with others.

You were sitting in your dorm room for once. Usually, you found yourself spending the night in Kokichi’s, but he was being rather secretive about his room for some reason this week. You sat next to him on the ground, looking at a splayed out deck of cards on the floor. You often spent the nights like this: with him, either wandering the school grounds and getting up to trouble or in his room where he could have you all to himself. He could be selfish like that, clingy. Sometimes seeing others get close to you made him more jealous than he’d like to admit.

And you could most definitely tell when it was one of his more needy days. He’d be more whiny, showing his true feelings through a furrowed brow here or a scrunched nose there. He sighed, tired of leaning his head onto your shoulder. He wanted more, more contact with you, more of you entirely. Without warning, he grabbed both hands firmly onto your legs and pulled you into his lap. He was sitting with his legs criss-crossed, and with an unexpected show of strength for someone of his size, he sunk his slender, pale fingers into the meat of your thighs and slid you effortlessly into his lap. He snuggled you in and you slotted perfectly into the cavity of his hips and thighs.

You squirmed in protest, gasping a little at the surprise of being lifted so suddenly. Your cheeks warmed up at the close contact and intimate position. He placed his chin back onto your shoulder, nuzzling against it every so often and resumed the game, handing you cards and promising not to cheat and peek at your hand (probably a lie).

When moments passed and you still squirmed about uncomfortably in his lap, he grunted, irate:

“Sit still, I’m trying to get comfortable!” He tilted his head, biting down into the skin of your shoulder in a childish display of frustration.

“Well… Kokichi… aren’t I a little heavily? Are you sure you want me to sit here like this…?” You finally voiced the apprehension behind your wriggling. You were bigger then him, and his frame was so lithe and petite. You felt like a beast crushing it’s prey. It wasn’t that you didn’t like the closeness and his touch, but you couldn’t help but feel self conscious.

“Why would I put you here if I didn’t want it, stupid head?!” He puffed his cheeks out in exasperation.

“It just… I mean I feel like I’m grating your pelvis into dust right now…” He wouldn’t say it directly, but he hated comments like this. Though he knew it was your own insecurities against yourself at work, he couldn’t help but be offended for himself, like you thought he was puny and weak at the same time. You would never say that to Gonta or Kaito, right? Even Kiyo, who was thin as could be would be spared from such comments. Why? Because he was 6’2”. Kokichi frowned at your comment, trying not to take out that anger on you, though he really wanted to.

“If you move even an inch, I’m going to bonk you over the head and knock you out…” he grumbled, wrapping both arms around your torso and crushing you into his chest in a show of dominance. He wanted to prove that he could hold you, he could be strong and in control, he could handle all of you.

You relaxed into his hold, feeling the beating of his heart against your back and deciding to let the topic go for now. 

BONUS: In a NON-DESPAIR AU

He gets pissed, crossing his arms and practically steaming when you guys go to amusement parks and people imply that he’s not tall enough for certain rides.

He finds your body super attractive, content to sit back and simply watch you try on clothes without complaint.

He refers to you as his “tall gf” or “huge gf” in many different scenarios, even if you’re just the least bit taller than him.

[sunbun-memes]

Stuff my friends and I have said during Movie Night

Feel free to change pronouns as needed! Be sure to specify a muse if sending to a multimuse blog!

"They've got tanks. I think they'll be alright." "How'd she make it????" "How are they gonna take down the big boy?" "The army is here, finally." "That is the least of your concerns trust me." "Don't worry, it gets worse!!" "Oh that's terrifying, I love it!" "Feed her to the monsters!" "STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM THE BOY!" "I don't think God said anything against visiting the moon or splitting atoms." "I wanna throw the crazy religious people outside." "Old people just do not give a single shit." "Don't stay and fight, run!" "I think 'oh no no, aw no no' is an appropriate reaction." "Here comes the Can of Peas!!" "Rest his crispy, crusty soul." "I don't think it's dead yet, give it 50 more whacks to be sure." "Well, now he's on fire and flying." "Oh yeah sure set the mop on fire I'm sure nothing will go wrong." "Told you nothing would go wrong." "Those bugs are huge. Like small dog sized. Winged chihuahuas." "… y'all might wanna turn the lights off." "Just a friendly bug. Totally harmless I'm sure." "That poor biker dude." "Close the door." "Gonna miss biker dude." "I'm sorry but if I had a kid and someone touched them without my or their permission I'd be forced to give them the roundhouse shuffle." "Can we sacrifice her already?" "Plot armor? Looks more like plot acid." "Word of advice: stop using the term 'tentacle.'" "That seems weird, but I'm not the lawmaker." "Boy you're gonna be screaming in annoyance later." "If everyone stays out of sight from the windows, that could help." "No you're not sorry, you're a coward. I saw how you backed up against the wall when he said help him." "Deserved; but not helpful." "So unnecessarily aggressive so fast." "He's a kid, he's proud and stupid." "Why does he want to go so badly?" "Why does the army wear napkins on their head?" "I think more people should have Bigfoot's baby. He needs to repopulate." "If I passed by that many military trucks, going that fast, I'd be spooked."

[sarcastic-positivity]

     It was the middle of July and despite Tim’s aspirations as a kid, he did not, in fact, have a job that gave him summers off. As such, it was a miserable affair, getting to and from work. Usually Tim would be in an airy t-shirt and shorts but Jon had caught sight of his Hawaiian themed top last week and it had been a close thing to avoid being forced to go home and change. It would be a few weeks before he could get away with such a ‘blatant display of disrespect for work procedures’, as Jon put it, so here he was: sweating his ass off on the tube and praying to whatever god would listen that they’d fixed the AC at the Institute.

     God never did like Tim.

     “Christ above, does Elias want us dead or something?” Tim cried to the room at large as he dropped heavily onto his spinny chair. It was stifling. “What did we ever do to him, huh?? Did someone submit a statement about Bigfoot again?” He immediately started popping buttons on his ‘work appropriate’ shirt.

     Sasha popped her head up from her cubicle and grinned at him. Her waist-length braids had been piled sloppily on top of her head and she looked about ready to topple over from the imbalance. She’d already shed her top layer down to a simple purple tank top but she still had a sheen of sweat on her brow that had her large round glasses slipping down her nose.

     “Pretty sure it’s cause Gerry called him an old codger and compared him to the statement giver from the McGregor case last week. He’s out for revenge now.”

     Tim wrinkled his nose. “What, the stuffy one with the cane who wouldn’t shut up about how the Tories are implementing a surveillance state?”

     “The very same,” Sash confirmed, pushing her glasses back up with a hand. “Though I personally think Elias would be very pro Big Brother. Did I tell you he asked after my aunt the other week?”

     “You told Elias about Matilda’s lung cancer?”

     “That’s just it! The only person I told about that was you, and I’m pretty sure you didn’t run off to tattle to Elias.” She leaned forward in her chair conspiratorial and Tim couldn’t help but do the same. Sash was magnetic when she was like this. It had led to more than one rendezvous in their first year at the Institute. “I think he has cameras down here.”

     It wasn’t the most insane theory she’d come up with, somehow. Just two months ago she’d followed Jon home because she didn’t believe he actually had a home; she’d thought he’d been sleeping in the Institute of all places. Besides, there was that feeling of being watched that pervaded this place. Still, Tim couldn’t help but laugh.

     “I think we’d know if he had cameras, Sash. Did I tell you what he-”

     “What fresh hell is this?” The voice from the doorway was flat and scathing and Tim immediately spun in his chair to grin at the intruder.

     “Gerry!” He called happily. “I didn’t know you were coming in today!” He was wearing his signature black trenchcoat and a scowl that did things to Tim. Luckily for both of them, Tim was well guarded against Gerry’s scary-sexy goth vibe by virtue of sharing a flat with him. There were only so many times you could get a chub from simply looking at your roommate before your prick just gave up on the enterprise entirely.

     “There’s a statement I need but this is fucking ridiculous.” His voice was as deep and rough as it always was but the angry edge to it managed to send a little zing down Tim’s spine. The days that Gerry showed up at work are always so interesting. “It’s at least 10 degrees hotter in here than it is outside. The fuck is Elias thinking?”

     “Gonna rough him up for us, Ger?” Tim asked with a grin and Sasha laughed. “Stomp on him a little with those boots of yours? 10 quid says he’s into it.” Gerard shot him a look but there was a smile playing around his lips, pulling slightly at the snakebite piercings there. His makeup that day was the same as it usually was, eyeliner and three exaggerated lower lashes that made his gaze all the more intense. Thank god for the aforementioned Roommate Protection. Especially when Gerry’s eyes swept over Tim before meeting his eyes again and giving a mocking little smile. His eyes were slate grey and impossible to look away from.

     “Projecting much, Stoker?” He asked in a low tone. It was teasing and Sasha cackled but Tim’s brain stuttered and properly died. What did one say when a hot goth implied that you maybe wanted him to stomp on you with his giant sexy boots? Especially when it was true.

     “What, you wanna find out, Keay?” Tim shot back. That was good. Keep it light, let it plausibly pass for playful workplace banter – a little bit of light flirting to keep thoughts of the heat at bay. Gerry arched a brow at him, face betraying nothing but that same cool amusement. Sasha snorted and shook her head, turning back to her computer.

     “You two are ridiculous,” she told them. Tim shrugged, eyes still on Gerry, and then Jon’s office door creaked open.

     “Oh good, you’re here, Gerard.” Gerry’s eyes flicked away. “You said you needed the Anderson file?” 

     “Yeah, that’s the one,” Gerry said. He passed by Tim’s desk to take the file from Jon. Tim turned back to his desk. “By the way, your workplace is a HSE violation waiting to happen.”

     “Yes, I am quite aware,” Jon said drily. “Make sure to get that one back to me by the end of the day. And not stinking of smoke this time, Gerard. I have more notes I plan to add to it.”

     “No promises.”

・・・

     Inevitably, it was Tim who had to go hunt Gerry down at a quarter to five to get the file back. Luckily the fire exit to the left of the stairs to the archives was conspicuously propped open by an unopened carton of cigarettes and Tim pushed outside into the slightly cooler summer air.

     Gerard was lounged on the steps leading to the back alley, facing away from the door with the file open at his feet and a lit cigarette in hand. He’d tied his hair up sloppily, much like Sasha had hers, but it was so long that black sheets of it still cascaded down his bare shoulders. His trenchcoat had been completely abandoned, laid out on the step beside him, and he was left only in a crop top Tim had never seen before. It was made of a sheer grey material that matched his eyes and had no sleeves to speak of. Even worse, Gerry had a hand tucked under his shirt, shucking the top halfway up his chest. His alabaster skin shone in the dim light of the setting sun and Tim nearly took a tumble down the steps when Gerry tilted his head back to look back at him. 

     “What?” Gerry asked in a gravelly voice when he caught Tim staring. Tim opened his mouth to respond but he suddenly found himself incapable of speech. Gerry rolled his eyes and turned his head languidly back forward, lifting his cigarette to his lips. “AC’s broken inside but it’s barely any cooler out here. Don’t be a prude.”

     That surprised a laugh out of Tim. “A- A prude?!” He choked out. Never in his life had he been accused of such a thing. And this, this was so far on the opposite side of the scale he wanted to laugh. Or cry. Gerry just blew a smoke ring.

     “If you’re here for the file, it’s there.” He kicked at the manila folder at his feet and Tim could hear the wounded noise Jon would make if he were there. Right, Tim had actually come for a reason that wasn’t to ogle Gerry. Supposedly.

     “Right.” Tim cleared his throat and picked his way down the steps so as to not step on Gerry. God, did his legs have to be so long? “This thing has gotta reek by now,” he said as he bent down for the file. “Pretty sure the boss man won’t be too happy with you about that one.” He turned back and around and Gerry quickly lifted his eyes. His eyes were a warm hazy grey, much like the smoke drifting around his head.

     “Afraid of Sims then, are you?” He drawled. His piercings glinted as he grinned at Tim.

     Tim rolled his eyes and made his way back up the steps. He very pointedly kept his gaze on the ground as he did so, enticingly bare torso be damned. “Everything’s a question with you,” he said. “‘Projecting much? Afraid of Sims?’ Just call me a bottom and get on with it.”

     Gerry rasped out a chuckle right as Tim reached the top step. Tim hesitated but couldn’t help but glance back down behind him. Gerry’s head was tilted back, hair messy and top askew, and his eyes half lidded against the dying light behind Tim’s head.

     “Now where’s the fun in that?”

     He was sight to see, all stretched out and half clothed on the steps to the alley. Tim shook his head and turned back inside without another word. Gerry’s rapsing laugh followed him all the way into the archives.

     Damn tease.

SPEECHLESS. SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP. THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED AND MORE THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE HOLY SHIT IM LOSING MY MIND

[unremarkablehouse]

Domestic Partners: Together at Last

MSR | PG | WC 2075 | AO3 Summary: A look inside the workings of Mulder and Scully’s relationship once they become a romantic couple. This is Chapter 2 but stands on its on, Chapter 1 can be found here. Tagging: @today-in-fic

For Mulder their romantic relationship didn’t begin with their first kiss or even the first time they slept together; it was when Scully started casually holding his hand in public. They’d held hands in private countless times throughout their partnership but something about the way she so easily started transitioning to doing it in a public setting felt like a wall had come down. It was such an innocuous gesture that made Mulder smile every time she did it, and at some point Mulder would always take her hand and kiss it. So formal and old world, Mulder’s hand kisses were always incredibly endearing to Scully. For all the intimacy and domesticity they had shared up until this point; being able to show affection without restraint was the turning point that signaled their romantic relationship. 

Of all the things they had imagined about their sex life, laughter was one element they both completely failed to predict. In fact, neither of them had ever laughed so much in bed as they did with each other. Their love making often held a sense of light heartedness and fun; so starkly different from the rest of their lives. Playful, experimental, magic, the two had a unique sexual chemistry that rounded out their relationship and was the embodiment of people who were truly compatible. Mulder’s stamina and diligence in the bedroom was admirable but Scully had to get him to pair down his routine to a solid 20 minutes on work nights. With a grumble he acquiesced, not wanting to lose sex privileges altogether, but the moment they were off the clock Mulder made up for it with long, languid love making sessions. 

As a couple they formed new routines which slowly phased out the listless void that had been such a large component of Mulder’s life. Unlike previous relationships he’d experienced, they moved in tandem as a team, and his restlessness naturally faded. Scully, was wary of Mulder’s eagerness to throw himself into their relationship and be the partner he believed she wanted. So she spurred him on to keep up his independent interests; and he chased sightings of Bigfoot, looked into conspiracies with The Gunmen, and would disappear on vague trips with little explanations but big hugs. It took a little while for Mulder to understand that this wasn’t a rejection, but Scully’s insightful way of making sure their relationship was sustainable. ‘Two whole and independent people who chose to be together but are able to function apart’ she told him. From a psychological point of view he knew she was right, but he had been functioning on his own most of his life, he just preferred when she was near. 

Discretion was important to them both, which meant no public displays of affection in D.C and their options for dates were pretty restricted. This gave Mulder an opportunity to get creative, adding extra travel days in between cases to take Scully to concerts, eat at nice restaurants and pretend to be normal for a while. Mulder talked of a life outside of The X Files and field work, but Scully was skeptical that he’d be able to give it up and certainly didn’t want him to resent her for this decision in the future. After an endless stream of cases Mulder finally revealed the truth into the darkness like a silent confession. He was tired of worrying about their lives always being in jeopardy, but his real motive was that he’d looked into being a Foster Carer, and he couldn’t bear the thought of making that commitment and letting a kid down because of their work. Scully sobbed at this admission and finally she understood that Mulder wasn’t running away from The X Files to appease her, he was just looking towards a future with her. 

As people who intellectualized their feelings, communicating emotions wasn’t a strong suit, but on long drives or quiet nights one of them would summon the courage to speak of their hopes and dreams, or fears and anxieties. Each time it happened they found it easier to do, a ritual that only they shared and the knowledge of the fact that they were safe confiding in each other. 

However, it was not their comfort with this new stream of dialogue that raised their profile in the FBI, but a display of their non-verbal communication in a meeting with other field Agents and department heads. While Scully was presenting her findings a fellow Agent made a joke at her expense, Mulder arched into action but with a look Scully commanded him to back down. Mulder gave a look of acquiescence and his gaze shifted over to the lectern where their papers were stored, after a nod from Scully, Mulder silently handed her a document. Scully continued to address the Agent who made the joke and showed him a report with the evidentiary findings that proved her point and ended by reminding him that regardless of his diminutive view point, human lives were saved as a result of their involvement. The air was sucked out of the room for a moment as the other attendees struggled to comprehend what they had just witnessed. Eventually Skinner wrapped things up but rumors of the pair developing telepathy became an ongoing joke. Skinner loved to recount stories of silent fights he’d witnessed the pair have in his office after a few drinks and he knew their connection was something to be envied.

For Maggie Scully, there was no official confirmation that Mulder and Scully were in a relationship. Mulder began attending Sunday dinners while their relationship was still technically plutonic, so their bickering and teasing didn’t count as genuine evidence because in that regard, they were still very much the same. Mulder was a welcomed addition to the Scully family dinners, always bringing a bottle or wine or a bunch of flowers as a host gift. The times he brought flowers he always got Scully a bunch too, which she put in water and tried to downplay her delight at his simple gesture. 

After dinner it was quietly understood that Mulder and Scully would do the washing up. Their hushed conversations and stifled laughter made a pleasant hum throughout the house and Maggie loved to silently watch the pair in their own little world. Even Bill Jr begrudgingly got used to Mulder’s presence, unable to deny the happiness he brought his sister, the way he helped Maggie while he was away, and how his son adored him. As men often do, Bill Jr and Mulder had a silent agreement to stick to talking about sports and avoided any topics that could cause contention. Bill didn’t even tease Mulder for tearing up while watching Beauty and the Beast with Matty; although Scully mocked him mercilessly. 

‘Scully, it’s just the lyrics to that one song! “Just a little change. Small, to say the least. Both a little scared, neither one prepared..” it’s us!’

‘I better not be the Beast, Mulder…’ 

With a kiss Mulder silenced her mocking but a few weeks later Scully discovered Mulder had bought the soundtrack to Beauty and the Beast and it was in his CD player. 

The ease at which Mulder fit into her family functions surprised Scully, and he was quickly a favorite amongst her relatives and family friends. Much to her surprise, Mulder was quite comfortable manning the Grill and always willing to help prepare food for the guests. 

Part way through their first Summer as a couple Scully had to ask him to stop accepting every invite to these cookouts and gatherings. Between Sunday dinners and these additional get-togethers, Scully was seeing more of her family than she had in a decade, and preferred to pick and choose which occasions she showed up too. So an agreement was made that all invitations would be run by Scully first to “check if they would be working out of town” and bypass Mulder’s inability to say ‘no’ to Maggie Scully.

Mulder’s diet, which had previously subsisted heavily on takeout and dry cereals, changed dramatically once dating Scully. Most nights in D.C they cooked together. Nothing overly complicated, grilled fish or chicken served with vegetables or a salad. Mulder wasn’t really one for cooking, but he enjoyed helping Scully prepare their meals and they made a pretty efficient team. Once every few weeks they’d go to the local farmers market and buy the fresh produce (as well as a large bag of kettle corn for Mulder). This was one of the many activities they did before they were a couple, but now the chances were much higher that the items purchased would be shared. Every time they went to the markets Scully would make sure to go to her favorite local honey vendor, Hank. A pharmacist by trade, Hank discovered beekeeping as a way to help control his seasonal allergies. Hank explained to Scully all about the studies on ingesting bee pollen or honey collected from local bees for allergies, which she found fascinating. Mulder’s dislike of Hank was juvenile and fueled purely by jealousy. Once they officially started dating, Mulder was no longer allowed to make snide remarks or roll his eyes while she chatted to Hank, so he would just stand next to her silently and watch the interaction with all the intense concentration of a trained guard dog. In a million years Mulder would never admit that he loved Hank’s honey and it actually  helped him a lot during allergy season, but Scully noticed him slipping it into his tea every chance he got. 

Since their first year as Partners Scully had accused Mulder of essentially being a bear who owned furniture with his ignorance of basic domestic care. Her judgmental looks and glares were originally enough to get him to clean his toilet and take out the trash semi-regularly, however he quickly realized if he wanted Scully to spend the night with him, he’d have to up his game. Fresh sheets, clean bathroom (with no empty shampoo bottles on the shower floor), and toilet paper placed on the holder became a regular feature at Mulder’s apartment and he was rewarded with Scully spending half her time in D.C at his apartment.

Like any couple, especially ones who had known each other for so long, they argued. But while they may have fought like all couples they did not fight like a normal couple. There was no yelling or throwing things, their disagreements were more of a heated debate with time allocated for both views to be presented as well as rebuttal. One of their first fights as a couple happened late one night at Mulder’s place. Not willing to concede defeat Mulder became sullen, sarcastic and petulant towards Scully. Rolling her eyes she muttered in frustration that he was being an ass, then she kicked him in the shins and walked into his bedroom to go to bed. From the other room she could hear Mulder give a bewildered laugh and the tension evaporated. With an exaggerated limp Mulder walked into the bedroom to make amends, and was happy to do so more than once that night. 

Their other arguments didn’t always resolve as quickly and they both usually needed a day to reflect on the details. Mostly they got along very amicably though and their bickering reduced dramatically once their relationship became physical. 

There was now a TV in Mulder’s bedroom and Scully found a bed frame with built-in bookshelves for him. While on the whole his insomnia had improved, Scully didn’t like waking up in the middle of the night to find him missing. So now he could watch tv on low or read without worrying about disturbing Scully. Mulder had mentioned cohabitation but it led to one of their awkward standoffs, so he was happy to compromise with sharing a bed with her almost every night.

The road that led them to this point was fraught with so much turmoil, sacrifice and pain. For Mulder, he couldn't remember a time when he had been happier. A part of him understood life would always turn on a dime so he tried to savor this time as much as possible. But for all his anxiety about the future he knew they would continue to fight together, comrades in arms, bracing themselves for the next roll of the dice.

[dalishthunder]

WIP Whenever

Missed WIP wednesday bc Covid has me in it's clutches, but I'm feeling coherent enough to write again so have this!

When the door to the craft finally closed behind you, you visibly sagged, slumping against the wall with a shaky breath.

“Are you alright?”

“That was Akande Ogundimu. That was Doomfist.” You stared at your trembling hands, “How the hell am I alive…?”

“Because you are with me.”

You continued as though you had barely heard him, your voice still heavily modulated from the mask, “And those others? That omnic, Maximilian? And I’d heard stories about a shadowy figure called only Reaper, but I wasn’t sure that he actually existed. It’s mostly just been a source of speculation, a few blurry videos here and there like fucking… Bigfoot or something.”

You were now almost hyperventillating, quaking like a leaf in the wind, and you clawed at the mask on your face, struggling to find the latches to pop it off.

Ramattra placed a hand on your shoulder, steadying you as the ship began its ascent.

The mask clattered to the floor as you finally managed to tear it from you. Your eyes were wild with fear, and you gulped down air as though it would run out any moment.

He… did not like this look on you.

When had you become such a weak spot for him?

Tell me… what do you see when you look at me?

My friend.

That…was the first thing that had come to your mind when you looked at him.

Not that he was an R-7000, not just a figure of war….

“Do they truly frighten you so much?”

“Yes!”

“Why?”

“Humanity has grown complacent in its peace with omnics; Weak and bloated. We have seen where this weakness leads, to crisis, to the brink of extinction. But from the ashes of conflict, we rise. Humanity grows stronger only through our strife, and only through the gauntlet of conflict can we forge our way forward. As the saying goes, the gold that shines must first pass through fire. Akande Ogundimu, Unpublished Manuscript 2, 2071.” Your words were measured again, breaths starting to slow. “There’s a lot more in there, but that was the passage that stood out to me most. He also implied that if he could start a new Crisis, he would. I know… Talon acts as though they’re helping you, but these are very, very dangerous allies.”

“How do you know all this?”

“I told you, I studied them back in college.”