#he really made a show where everybody is gay

[apotelesmaa]

A while back I saw sm1 saying tsukasa expresses emotions like it’s his first time experiencing them & while it’s very funny and true I think it’s also worth noting that unlike tv/movie actors, stage actors have to really exaggerate their body language/expressions so that their emotions are readable for everyone in the theatre. On screen you can easily pick up the micro expressions on an actor’s face because you’re like 5 ft away at most and the camera often zooms in on their face. From the back of the theatre you can’t read subtle expressions so the actors need to over emphasize and use their whole body. All this to say: given that u cannot take the theatre kid out of tsukasa I feel like his acting just bled into how he expresses his emotions.

Emu also does the body language thing but it’s harder to tell as she’s normally expressing a smaller range of emotions than tsukasa (she’s naturally joyous and whimsical creature & tsukasa is usually given ample reasons to express annoyance). I think that’s more of a result of her exaggerating her happiness so that other people are also happy rather than an acting thing though. Gestures at her refusing to show negative emotions. Entertainer/clown (actual clowns, not the insult) vs stage actor. Really good examples of them doing this is the clip of rui imitating tsukasa & the clip of nene imitating emu.

[inadequate-nefelibata]

but in watching hacks and all the details that go into making it as deep as it is, and seeing all the queer cast talk about representation..i'm really like. what am i doing. what have i been DOing this past weeks

[fryingpan1234567]

some CHB headcanons

every cabin has LEDs around the inside, but there’s a constant battle over what color they are

Percy has his rippling back and forth from teal to blue and it looks like light dancing through water all over his walls and floor

the Apollo cabin can usually settle for orange and yellow as a common ground

the Aphrodite kids have a different color for each time of day and sleep with pink on the lowest brightness setting

the Hermes cabin has like ten different strips and they’re all constantly shifting

Demeter cabin’s shifts with the seasons

ANYWAYS MOVING AWAY FROM THE LEDS

they have movie nights, which I will talk about in a different post

before everybody goes back to school, the Aphrodite and Hecate cabins have a massive salon at the end of the summer with new haircuts and magic hair dye and outfit recommendations and fake but enchanted sturdy nails and a whole bunch of other stuff and basically it’s a week straight of spilling hot tea between everyone in camp

if someone asks where a camper got their hair done when they get back to school they just go “oh, um… summer camp.” and their friends will snort and be like bro isn’t summer camp the opposite of a makeover?? but they get no argument, just a shrug and a half smile

when I tell you pride month over there is a fucking riot

because Mr. D is in on it, right?? because he’s the god of gender?? and Chiron is aroace and has been raising dumbass gay heroes for literal centuries?? PLUS the sheer fucking amount of queer peeps up in there?? dude yeah

cabins competing for who shows the most pride

Demeter’s roof is covered in rainbow flowers

Hecate’s is enchanted to emit actual light in whatever flag colors of whoever uses the front door, even when they’re straight (it’s just a rainbow)

Percy collects a bunch of shed scales from the hippocampi at the bottom of the lake and then puts them all over his cabin

I could make a whole post about CHB pride but

every single Apollo kid is also a theater kid fight me

Rachel Elizabeth Dare painted a skateboard for Percy’s birthday and he brings it everywhere now, it even sits in his backpack at school

Leo, Annabeth, Percy, and Piper fucking love horror movies. Frank, Hazel, and Jason fucking hate them. They watch through their fingers, if at all

Piper loves the band Surfaces with all her heart, but she also is a die hard Green Day and P!ATD fan

Jake Mason is covered in burn scars up to his neck, just like Deadpool, just not bald lol

Hephaestus and Apollo kids faintly radiate warmth (like more so than a normal person)

the Stolls sometimes stay at camp year-round because their mom is off on international missions that are too high-risk for them to help with

the seven are AVID Smash Bros players

really everyone but

not as many people go to the Athena campers for help with homework as you might think, but whenever anyone does, they’re happy to help

the sun chariot blasts music at a frequency only the Apollo kids can hear, so their life kind of has a shitty soundtrack that consists of a mix of Broadway, Queen, modern stuff, and random bits of Beethoven every now and then

the Romans swear on few occasions

the Greeks know when to swear and when to be polite

the Valhalla peeps swear unbridled and all the time

the Egyptians never swear (in English)

for the longest time, Will Solace thinks the only gift from his dad is his healing prowess— which is obviously great, but he expresses being upset over the fact that he’s not very good at archery

well, considering this is the dumbass who didn’t bring a weapon to actual fucking Tartarus, Nico drags him to the weapon shack thing immediately afterwards and made him pick something out

he's immediately drawn to the Celestial Bronze shotgun.

Nico’s just like “what in the redneck shit did you just pick up” and Will jokingly aims it at his chest and grins and says “you know I’m from Texas, right?”

that’s how they find out Will is one of the damn best marksmen in Greek demigod history

some of the Disney nerds in the Apollo cabin sing What Once Was Mine to the little ones who need bandaids for knee scrapes and give them lollipops afterwards

Percy Jackson absolutely used to make poverty and struggle meal jokes all the time, but he got weird and concerned looks for it at CHB, so he kind of just stopped. But one day, aboard the Argo II, the PERFECT opportunity came up and he just HAD TO and as per usual— everyone else looked at him like he’s crazy— but Leo laughed so hard chocolate milk came out of his nose and that’s the story of how the two of them became Best Friends

[mediumgayitalian]

fic rec friday 10

hi!! welcome to fic rec friday. every week, i pick five fics i have bookmarked and rec them with a little review. check them out!

something borrowed by @rosyredlipstick

In the Solace Wedding Planning agenda, on the fifth page into their summer schedule, there are carefully scrawled out notes reading this: Bride and Groom - Hazel Levesque & Frank Zhang Best Man & Maid of Honor - Percy Jackson & Piper McLean Wedding Court - Annabeth Chase & Jason Grace Mellie & Gleeson Hedge Reyna Ramírez-Arellano & Leo Valdez Ring-bearer - Chuck Hedge Flower-boy - Nico di Angelo - Will plans wedding and now, apparently, Nico stars in one. Except...sometimes there's a bit more confusion on that last part. AKA the AU where Will plans weddings and thinks Hazel and Frank are going to have to cutest, gap-toothed ten year throwing flowers down the aisle, all while wondering why this 'Neeks' guy is always hanging around, and what business he has looking that good.

yes i am back on my rosyredlipstick (dude she's GOOD okay). however this one is my favourite i think. this is the kinda story you could use to explain to people what dramatic irony is bc LORD i wanted to SHAKE THEM 😭😭 will falling like deeply in love with nico and being intensely stressed about everything the whole time is so real and on brand. i love him and i love the fond exasperation that just bleeds from this fic its GREAT

2. Rental Love by @rosyredlipstick

*Read Terms & Conditions - Male/22/Long Island N.Y.C. Tired of showing up stag at holiday events? Want your family to stop thinking there’s something wrong with you? Just want some arm candy for a work event? Look no further. Your solution is here! I will attend holiday events with you as your paid date. Accepting all genders as applicants. Email solace.w@fastmail.com if interested. Interview & application will be set up there. - Nico di Angelo has been telling Hazel Levesque about his boyfriend for weeks. The bad part? Nico doesn’t have a boyfriend, the holidays are coming up, and not all of Jason’s ideas are horrible. They’re all a bit surprised about the last one.

THE LEVEL OF STUPID THAT THEY ARE...😭😭 kills me fr. like this whole fic is just a manifestation of truly one of the best tropes of all time…..like what if we took a hallmark movie and made it gay as all hell. iconique indeed

3. A Match in the Making by @coconutcranberries-blog

“You’re a morning person,” Nico muttered, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his palms. He ran a hand through his black hair, which stuck up in disarray, the same way it did every morning. He was a mess, and Will Solace looked annoyingly put together, and Nico didn’t even care, really, he didn’t.

friendship is the core of romance!! it is!! every time!!! and it's such a core in this fic....which is fucking??? ten years old??? im just realising?? jesus christ??? anyways. "Nico had the sudden, warm feeling that Will Solace had never bought his act." i YELLED

4. Perception by scorchedtrees

In which everyone thinks Nico and Will are together.

i love this trope i love it SO BAD. both ways. when your love is so obvious that no one misses it.....love to see it truly. and will can have one second of beingn smooth and not a dweeby loser. as a treat

5. the world is brighter than the sun now that you're here by @finalizer

It was hard, Nico eventually concluded, to maintain one’s air of spooky otherworldly detachment with a blinding ray of sunshine trailing one step behind him every minute of every day.

grouchy nico my beloved truly. honestly hes such a bitch i love him like "Seriously, give the guy a perm and a few cats and he’d be that weird aunt that everybody avoided around the holiday season." why does he ALWAYS have something vile to say 😭😭 hes a mood fr

thank you for joining me this saturday friday!! happy reading!!

[dodger-chan]

Look we all have to write the steddie flirting through DnD scene don't we?

Consider this a Christmas gift if you celebrate and something to do while everything's closed if you don't.

“How touchable are my boobs in this?”

“I think I’m falling in love with Eddie.” Steve replied. He had not meant to say that. He’d been helping Robin pick out clothes for her date with Vickie that night, and the thought had just hit him. Steve tried again. “Your boobs look great. Vickie will definitely want to slip her hands under that shirt.”

“Perfect.” Robin threw herself down on her bed next to Steve. “Let's go back a few seconds. Why do you think you’re falling for Eddie?”

“I stole one of Dustin’s old DnD manuals and I’ve been looking through it to figure out how their nerd game works. I bought my own copy of Sacred Heart. And I'm trying to read The Hobbit for the third time.”

He was forty-eight pages in, the farthest he’d made it yet. He might make it through the whole book this time, now that he’d decided he could skip the songs. 

“Oh, it’s like when you studied for the SATs with Nancy!”

“Even though I’d already taken the exam. Exactly.” Steve sighed. “It’s been going on for weeks. How did I not notice until now?”

“Because you’ve spent most of your life purposefully ignoring it when you liked a guy.” Robin ruffled his hair. “Hey, at least finding him hot isn’t news, right?”

“Yay for small victories, I guess.” Steve fixed the mess Robin had made. “But what do I do about it?”

----------

A part of Steve had wanted to show up in his rattiest t-shirt and jeans, to do his best to blend in with the rest of the club. But it wasn’t like the other guys didn’t know who he was. And Steve wanted to find out if Eddie might like him, not some nerd that looked like him. So Steve wore a polo shirt and his best jeans. The only way he could have looked less like he belonged was if he’d pulled his letterman out from the back of his closet.

“Are you playing with us Harrington?” Eddie asked when Steve sat down at the table.

“Um, is that okay? Bobbie had a thing come up and she asked me to sub in for her.” Robin’s thing had been a second date with Vickie. At his house, so the girls could kiss without worrying about getting caught. Steve needing to spend four hours in the Wheeler basement gave them plenty of alone time, too. “I might need some help with the math, but Robs gave me a character sheet and some basic instructions.”

Eddie and his friends exchanged looks. Steve really hoped they weren’t going to tell him to get lost.

“Steve? You’re playing?” Dustin practically threw himself down the stairs when he saw Steve. “How did we finally convince you? Was it Robin? Where is she?”

“Robin’s busy. I’m her sub. If Munson’s cool with it?”

Faced with Dustin’s pleading eyes, Eddie didn’t stand a chance.

----------

Steve mostly kept quiet at first, observing how Eddie ran the game, what strategies the kids preferred to use. Mostly he let them make the decisions and when they were in combat he hit the biggest enemy with his morningstar until it stopped moving.

It felt kind of familiar, but way less painful.

After a little while, Steve thought he had the hang of it enough to try Robin’s plan.

“Wait a second,” he stopped Mike before they attacked the mysterious cloaked figure. “Isn’t everybody’s health kind of low?”

“We don’t have time to rest and heal, Steve.” Mike was being weirdly patient with him. “The enemy has already seen us.”

“Yeah, but I could try charming him instead of fighting. Robin said her character was supposed to be charming.” She’d had this long explanation about charisma that Steve hadn’t followed but she’d summed it up as flirt with the NPCs. “If I flirt with him, maybe he’ll let us by without a fight.”

“He’s a guy, Steve,” Dustin pointed out. “Robin’s character is also a guy.”

“Gay people exist.” One of the older Hellfire members, Steve thought his name was Gareth, spoke up. He hadn’t expected any of Eddie’s friends to help him out with this. The three of them had their eyes on Eddie.

Eddie wasn’t saying anything.

“He’s seduced at least one girl in every town we’ve passed through,” Lucas explained. “Usually two or three.”

“It’s kind of a running joke,” Will added.

“He could like both.” Steve said it with a casualness he did not feel. “Some people do.”

“Buckley’s not going to be upset you made her character a little gay?” Eddie asked him.

“Nah, she won’t mind.”

“Then roll for seduction.”

Right as he rolled, another of Eddie’s friends - Steve had missed his name during introductions - bumped into the table. The dice fell onto the floor and one rolled under the sofa.

This was apparently a catastrophe.

“We won’t be able to get the die without moving it! We’ll never know what you rolled!” Dustin whined.

“Couldn’t I just roll it again?” This was, for some reason, the worst question he could have asked, as it sparked a lecture on the sacred and inviolable nature of the dice rolls.

“Have him role play it,” Jeff suggested. Eddie shot his friend a dirty look.

Steve briefly wondered if Robin had been talking with the older members of Hellfire, but that didn’t seem likely. They wouldn’t have any reason to help him out. 

“I don’t mind.”

“If that’s what you want.” Eddie shrugged. “Show us you can be as charming as your character.”

“I’m pretty sure I’m exactly as charming as Sir Dingus des Cheveux.” Steve wasn’t sure if he should be flattered or disturbed by how much Robin’s character was based on him. Though it certainly made playing him easier. “Tell me what I see.”

“I already did. Cloaked figure, no obvious weapon.”

“Yeah, that’s what I’d notice if I was looking for a fight. Can I see his hair? His face? His eyes?”

“Um, his hood is up, so no.” Right. Eddie was going to make this difficult.

“Okay so I step forward and I stand, uh, shit. It’s hard to describe.” Steve could be just as difficult. “Can we act it out?”

“Act it out?”

“I mean the NPCs are all you, right? So if you could stand in for this guy?” A lot of flirting was physical and, for Steve, automatic. He didn’t know exactly what he was doing until he was doing it. 

“Do it, Eddie.”

“Yeah.”

“I’ve always wanted to see The Hair at work.”

Eddie’s friends egged him on. Lucas nodded along with them. Dustin had grabbed a blank sheet of paper and seemed prepared to take notes. Will seemed somewhere between uncomfortable and fascinated. Only Mike looked unhappy about it, but that was just how Mike was. 

Date a guy’s sister for a year and not even saving his life could make him smile at you.

Eddie rose from his seat.

“Okay, Harrington. Charm me.”

Steve stepped forward, until he was almost close enough to touch Eddie.

“Hi,” he said, tilting his head to one side. He smiled a slightly goofy smile that he knew invited teasing. “What’s a nice boy like you doing in a dungeon like this?”

Eddie burst out laughing.

“Seriously? That’s what you’re starting with?”

“Is that you or the character laughing?” Steve asked.

“Both.”

“You have a beautiful laugh.” Steve spoke in character. Eddie stopped laughing, surprised. “I bet your face is just as lovely.”

“He pushes his hood back to reveal the face of a drow. The face is not lovely, but scarred. One particularly nasty scar on his right cheek creates the illusion of a smile. He says, You lose.”

“I don't know about that.” Steve stepped a little closer and lifted his hand. “May I?”

Eddie nodded.

Steve pushed Eddie's hair away from his face, lightly brushing Eddie's scars. Taking care that the back of his thumb caressed the most prominent one, the one that tugged down the corner of Eddie's lip and gave his smile a permanent look of irony.

“You have the most expressive eyes I've ever seen,” Steve murmured. Eddie pulled back.

Shit. That wasn't in character. Steve tried again.

“I think I won, but I wouldn’t want to contradict anyone with such enchanting eyes.” He dropped the smile but kept the teasing tone. “What do I lose?”

“Your life,” Eddie replied, but his heart clearly wasn't in it.

“You don't want to kill me.” Steve’s smile widened. He'd won this round as soon as Eddie had laughed. “If you’re having trouble thinking up a forfeit, can I suggest a kiss?”

“Okay, okay,” Eddie said with another laugh. “You have successfully seduced the drow. He does not attack your party, or summon reinforcements. Your one night stand allows for a long rest. Because the drow is a cleric of Loviatar, you only recover half your health.”

“Worth it.” He winked at Eddie before sitting back down at the table. “Sir Dingus had an excellent time. Is there a fantasy version of asking for a guy’s number? In case I have to sub in for Rob again?”

He didn’t want to saddle Robin’s character with a boyfriend when Robin had been using him to flirt with girls, but he didn’t want to leave Eddie with the impression that Steve moved on from people as quickly as Sir Dingus did.

“The life of an adventurer is hardly conducive to long term relationships.” That did not answer Steve’s question. “But, he tells you his name is Ghauntel Kenduis and should he see you again, he will remember yours.”

--------

Dungeons and Dragons was not the worst way to spend an afternoon. The combat was kind of boring, and the bickering over what the party was going to do next made Steve sympathize with the guys who’d stuffed nerds into lockers. 

Okay, DnD was not his thing at all and the only thing he really enjoyed about it was getting to flirt with Eddie.

Steve slid his hand over the scars on Eddie's neck. Slowly, carefully, he brought their lips together for a kiss.

Well, Eddie’s characters, which wasn’t exactly the same thing. And after that first time, he hadn’t had to do nearly as much roleplaying. But it was still fun.

“You kept breaking character,” Eddie commented when the game was finished for the day. 

“What do you mean?” The kids had, unsurprisingly, vanished upstairs as soon as it was time to clean up. A little more surprising was that the rest of Hellfire had also cleared out, leaving Steve and Eddie alone.

“When you would flirt. You kept losing the characters. You’ve never played before, so flirting with me instead of my NPCs would be an easy mistake to make. Or…” Eddie trailed off. “Nah, you’re just bad at the game.”

“I mean, I am. And breaking character wasn’t something I tried to do on purpose.” Steve stepped close to Eddie again. Close enough to reach out and touch him. “But I kept doing it because I wanted to flirt with you.”

“Why?” Eddie asked. “I'm a freak and kind of an asshole a lot of the time. And I’m not exactly a pretty face these days.”

“Well, it turns out that weird and passionate nerds are kinda my type.” And Steve was sick of dating girls who weren't his type. “May I?”

Wordlessly, Eddie nodded.

Again, Steve pushed Eddie's hair back, tucking it behind his ear. Eddie leaned into Steve's touch.

“You really do have the most expressive eyes. I wish you didn't feel like you have to hide them.” 

[doublel27]

Alright, @paperstorm and @liminalmemories21 , based on this post, and your very sweet anon who asked what Carlos thought about TK getting snuggly with his dad:

Carlos is a man who wouldn’t imagine an adult relationship with his father with that much physical contact or intimacy and seeing this very attractive man who has an amazing relationship with his father probably was really, really appealing to Carlos.

We know, now, after four seasons, that Carlos desperately wanted a better relationship with his father than the one he had. When Carlos meets the Strands in 1.01, he finds a father and son team who work together who came down from New York, together, to join the 126. And the idea for Carlos that you could have an active working relationship with your father where the two of you were on the same team and there was as much respect as TK clearly had for his father when Carlos deeply believes his father never wanted him to be in law enforcement because he’s too soft. Carlos Reyes cannot imagine a world in which he is allowed to work with his father and be so unabashedly proud of him.

And then, LATER, at the bar, when Carlos is looking at this man who is actually too attractive to be real, he watches as TK snuggles in and leans on his father, and I agree with @paperstorm that part of this is about touch and that TK is snuggly and this is a good sign. BUT ALSO, that a grown man would cuddle his father in public and his father would ALLOW it. WILD. INCONCEIVABLE. And so very attractive to a man who I think WANTS that.

Which leads me to the part of my essay in which we get to how this leads to 2.04. It’s no secret, I adore 2.04. The lead up from 2.02 when TK is like “you spend so much time around my crazy family, when do I get to meet yours” and Carlos being like “refill?” and then the issue got forced at the farmers market. In the fight that ensues after the farmer’s market, the thing that Carlos says when he explodes is about how not everybody grows up with parents that threw the closet door off the hinges. Because Carlos is deeply envious of TK whose parents didn’t go silent when he came out and then pretended it didn’t happen. He’s envious of a TK who if he had tried to marry a woman a year later would have been like “Ummm….what the actual fuck, TK?” and made him sit and talk about it. (Do I still hate this storyline, yes? But it fits the narrative in this way) and like…not only did you, TK, come out and be accepted and encouraged, but it didn’t put a chasm between you and your parents of what they thought a man should be and what you were.

Like Owen Strand accepts and encourages the man that TK is. He accepts that TK is a gay man who is incredibly physically affectionate with anyone he loves and that’s okay. They still have a physical relationship and it’s not a problem and it’s actually something that is encouraged, meanwhile Carlos hasn’t said an honest thing to his father about who he really is and what he wants outside of showing his father he’s a good cop and a good man. And like, they’re not-not physically affectionate, Gabriel is a hugger, but the hug in 2.08 where Carlos is clearly craving more because his father whispers in his ear about the right kind of instincts still hurts every time, and the way he’s so pleasantly surprised with the hug from his dad in 4.08 after he asks Gabriel to be his best man and they hug for even a little longer and it’s just so happy that it’s relieved almost and that required a lot of work on Carlos and Gabriel’s parts to get there.

And so yeah, I think if we think about who Carlos says he was, and who we knew him to be in season 1, this man who was very clearly locked up in his own sense of who he should be versus who he is at his core, and what he craves. The narrative throughout season 4, that Carlos brings up, is that TK was the key that unlocked a lot of the parts of himself he didn’t accept and wanted to fix. And I think he saw this grown man who is gay and his age having the kind of relationship he wanted with his father and that man’s father not only accepted it but openly encouraged it and wasn’t embarrassed…I think it meant the world to Carlos.

I think he saw TK and not only wanted him but wanted to believe that the life TK had was possible for himself, and he wanted to get there. And damn it he did.

Which I think made it even harder for Carlos, in seasons 1 and 2, who was working to get rid of the idea that the queer parts of him and the parts of him that didn’t live up to the machismo of his community were broken and in need of fixing, to introduce this very unabashedly unashamed person to his parents. In 2.04, Carlos talks a lot about not wanting to shove his gayness in his parents’ faces, because in some ways the concept that being gay is something in him that needed fixing comes from his family and their lack of conversations in the years before TK.

To introduce TK to his family is the chance to have them confirm that they do feel that way, to reject Carlos and TK, to a man who strives for perfection and doing the right thing…terrifying. Not only for Carlos, but for someone to come and wound TK like that. So he avoided it, until he ran right into it…and then was mad because TK gets from Gwyn and Owen something Carlos wants desperately, and TK has always had it. And then to think of Carlos afraid of his parent’s reaction to TK when Gwyn and Owen just like love Carlos unconditionally…yeah…yeah, I think he was into it and envious from the start.

Which makes me want to go rewatch scenes between Carlos and Gabriel for their physicality for more research. Damn it, haven’t wanted to do that in awhile. Also, if the show would kindly retcon the murder of Gabriel Reyes and I can have a redo of the finale with Gabriel as Carlos’s best man (even though I hate that trope and want Carlos to have friends) as the start of season 5 I may start to forgive them.

(Please go watch With, Love to be filled with joy and rage about what we could have had as Benito is at his other gay son’s wedding…)

[chaussetteblanche]

If you still write for kit, can I request something where the reader is kits gf and comes out to him as bisexual, and is really nervous about it even tho he’s super accepting (like are you sure you’re okay with it) bc they get scared but he’s super reassuring 🥺

hi love ! yes, i still write for kit ! of course :) thanks for requesting !! sorry for taking so long to answer !

pairing : kit connor x female!reader summary : you come out as bi to kit word count : 1.2k warnings : none, i think

You'd first felt it when you were younger. You loved the Totally Spies and spent your afternoons watching the show when you'd come home from school. And you especially loved Britney. She was like the perfect mix of Sam, Clover and Alex. Who wouldn't love her ? But you didn’t think anything of it back then.

Then you had the same sort of feeling when you'd first watched Pirates of the Caribbean as a young teenager. Will Turner was gloriously handsome, of course, but you felt the same way about Elizabeth Swan. She was graceful, not to mention beautiful, and could handle her own in battle, she could shoot, kick ass... What couldn't she do ? You didn’t think twice about it then, either.

Same happened when you met a girl at camp. She was nice and beautiful and really funny. You were so happy to be her friend. You didn’t realize what the butterflies in your stomach whenever she touched you meant.

You'd never thought too much about these feelings, figuring everyone felt the same. It's totally normal to wonder what it would be like to kiss your female friends, right ? Everybody did that, didn't they ?

A lot of your friends came out over the years, so you grew more familiar with the LGBTQ+ community, sexualities and gender identities. But you never questioned your own. And why would you ? You were now dating Kit, had been for a few months, actually, so why would you even think about questioning your sexuality ?

And then Kit got cast for Heartstopper. And with him, you dived even deeper into the world of queerness. And more than once, when helping him rehearse his lines, you'd read the script and thought : hey, I feel this way sometimes, too. But still, you didn't think too much about it.

And then, Heartstopper finally came out. All of the cast gathered to binge watch it in one day. You had been invited too, along with the other significant others. Everyone had to bring something, so you and Kit had made a heart-shaped chocolate cake that morning.

You were all snuggled up on the couch and Joe finally pushed play on the first episode. You were leaning in Kit’s side with your legs laying over his lap. He wrapped an arm your shoulders and pressed a kiss to your head when the intro started.

You squealed along with everyone when Joe first appeared on the screen. Everyone screamed and laughed whenever a new character would appear on the screen. You watched episode after episode, glee filling your being and shining with pride as you watched Kit’s amazing performance.

You got quiet when Nick started questioning his sexuality. Your heart sped up when he did the “Are you gay” quiz on the internet. You quickly excused yourself to go to the bathroom.

You tried to take deep breaths as you locked yourself in the bathroom. You’d felt the same things for women that Nick felt for men. Was it possible that you weren’t- straight ?

You locked the door behind you and leaned on the sink. Did you- like girls ? You looked at yourself in the mirror and winced at the look on your face. You didn’t like this. You didn’t like not knowing. A knock at the door startled you.

“Y/N ? You alright, love ?” Kit. You splashed some water onto your face and flushed the toilet, drying your face. “Yeah, just really had to go all of a sudden,” you lied as you unlocked and opened the door. Kit looked down at you and chuckled. “Oh, sorry, my love.” “It’s fine,” you laughed, “no worries, babe.”

You couldn’t get it out of your head for weeks. Did you like girls ? Were you pretending to ? Were you a lesbian ? No, you liked Kit. What were you ? You talked it over with your friends a lot. They all told you the same thing : “With time, you’ll know.” Maybe you would think you were bi for a while and then discover that you didn’t like men at all, or the contrary. It frustrated you to not know. No one else but you could know what your sexuality was. And the answer wouldn’t magically appear on a silver platter, as much as you wished it would.

Kit noticed your change in behaviour. Your temper was shorter than usual and you acted distant from him. After worrying for a few weeks, he finally confronted you. You were in the kitchen, making some instant ramen when he finally talked to you about it.

“Y/N ?” he asked tentatively. “Yeah ?” you hummed absent-mindedly. “Is something going on these days ?” You tensed at his words. He noticed immediately and touched your arm. “I don’t mean to upset you, love, but I just want to let you know that if something’s the matter with you, with us or with me, I’m here and you can talk to me about it you want to.”

You wanted to cry at his kindness and thoughtfulness. “I-“ Your voice caught in your throat. A ball formed in your stomach as you thought of voicing your thoughts and worrying. How would he react? Of course he'd understand, but- What ifs flooded your brain as you spluttered like a fish out of water. He took your hand in his, bringing you back to reality as he kissed your knuckled. "You don't have to talk about it if you're not ready to, you know." "No, I- I want to." You took a deep breath. Kit looked at you, giving you his undivided attention. "I've been feeling like this for a while now, and it only got stronger when we watched your show together because it really put it in front of me. Like I couldn't ignore it any longer, you know?" Kit tilted his head to the side, somewhat confused as to what you were speaking about. "I- I think I'm bisexual." The word felt alien in your mouth. "I think I like both boys, especially you, of course, and girls. I- I'm attracted to both."

Kit smiled at you, squeezing your hand. "Thank you for telling me. I know it's not easy." "No," you chuckled, wiping a stray tear from your eye, you didn't even know why you were crying, "it's not. But you make it easier." "And how do you feel about it?" "I- okay, I guess. It's good to know there are others like me, like us. H-how do you feel about it?”

“I think it just gives me one more thing to love about you,”

“Are you sure you don’t mind?” you asked nervously, worrying your bottom lip. Kit nodded, still smiling. "Not in the slightest. I'm so proud of you. Can I kiss you?" You nodded. "Of course, this doesn't change how I feel about you in the slightest." He hummed and leaned forward, wrapping you up in his arms as he pressed his lips against yours. You closed your eyes, relishing in the feeling and comfort he brought you. He pulled away. "I don't think I'm ready to tell everyone yet, though." "No, of course, you don't have to tell anyone you don't want to. You don't owe anyone anything."

[alexisntedgy]

I love that the captain was never really closeted.

some of his scenes in season 1 are so blatantly gay, people joke about cap being repressed but he actually didn’t seem particularly repressed at the start of the show at all (“he’d make a very fine soldier”). and by season three it’s clear that everyone knows, save for kitty because her brain doesn’t quite work like that.

and then his jokes and gestures start to become more intentional, he has a greater understanding of how people like him are perceived in the modern day after seeing the wedding, it’s somewhat of an open secret. so by the time he shares how he died, it isn’t a coming out scene, because everybody knew already- it was him confronting his death in the same way they all had. there was no “you like men?”, there wasn’t even a hint of surprise because they all knew and he knew they knew. and they still loved him now that it was even more blatantly out in the open.

I’ve never been able to relate to big coming out stories where characters drop it on everyone like it was a secret, or try desperately to hide it. my parents knew I was a lesbian when I was 9. cap’s coming out story made me feel seen because it wasn’t about coming out

[beanghostprincess]

also thoughts on yamace now that you've seen them

Stabbing me in the esophagus would have hurt way less than watching these two interact. I want to give you a proper answer like I always do instead of incoherent screaming, but I watched the flashback so recently that I'm still fucking sobbing. I can't stand gay people and their daddy issues. They make me insane. But since I'm an annoying writer, I will try and explain why Yamace has suddenly made his way to my top 5 ships in only three episodes. I'm pretty sure everybody knows all of this already because I'm late to the boom of episode 1015, but damn, I really need to talk about this or I'll die.

Okay, first of all, their personalities are so good together. They're both silly and fun to watch and impulsive and they want to be free from the chains their fathers put them in (metaphorically and, well, also literally). Perhaps the animation and direction of the show (especially on episode 1015 because oh my fucking goodness) helped a little in setting the romantic mood, but the interactions were all them. These two are literally something else.

To me, it's the angst of falling in love in the span of a night with a stranger with whom you have a lot in common and then watching them go, hoping to see them again- Like, basically being the only thing you look forward to because you don't have anything else except them and the freedom they promised you. And then watching them drift away between your fingers without being able to do anything. It's the frustration and helplessness and the way Yamato's life was the best it could've been and then crumbled down to the point where he had to place his faith in a man who he only knows because Ace talked about him constantly without shutting the fuck up because he's the most annoying brother ever (I love him).

And- I don't know, man. The chemistry is unmatched. Like, I actually felt I was interrupting their romantic moment watching that shit. If I hadn't known anything about them I would have genuinely thought they would kiss.

The whole "You can't choose your parents" and "What do you really want to do?" left me crying and sobbing on the floor. I literally had to sit down on the floor and cry because I couldn't take the parallelisms between them, both being children of important pirates and feeling (a very valid) resentment towards them. It's so good. The way they bond and talk to each other,,, The way they look at each other? This is the type of thing you only see in a romcom. Because quite literally: What the fuck.

And it's not only the obvious parallelisms or the fact that their personalities match perfectly (and also that, aesthetically, they look amazing together. But I think that's what happens when both boyfriends are hot af) but the fact that in the span of a night... Their feelings were so genuine. Ace wanted to come back, he just wasn't strong enough at the time and he was so positive and determined to become stronger so he would go back to Tama and Yamato,,, And Yamato? Waiting for Ace? Yamato waiting for his only friend to come back but knowing he will never do it? Yamato was so cute and excited to meet Ace, and seeing him hurt but it hurt less knowing that he would come back. The fact that he's dead takes that away from him. It just makes him have more faith in Luffy because he carries Ace with him.

How can a ship be so fucking good in only three episodes???? Going fucking wild. Ace taught him the meaning of living freely. Ace made him want to fight to be free. Ace changed his life and, honestly, Yamato changed his life too because it was the second biggest promise (first one being with Luffy, about not dying) he made and he had to actually train and fight to fulfill it. And he wasn't able to do it, but the whole "Luffy carrying Ace's promise" thing makes me go fucking wild.

Well, basically, to finish this: Expect a lot of posts from me about Yamace from now on and also a lot of edits to Taylor Swift songs.

This is so,,, God. It's so romantic. The lightning. The smiles. The fact that they're literally two intersecting lines that will never meet again. It makes me sick.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - When good chemistry goes bad

May 2023 Wk 3 

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

La Pluie (Sat iQIYI) ep 4 of 10 - yes it jumped to the top of the standings, the kiss was THAT good, best of the year so far. So soft and yet so sweet and yearning and with a proper chemistry - body, breath, everything. Also... there was plot happening this ep, but who cares about that? Some additional thoughts, now my brain has rebooted from that kiss. I do suspect Pat of still being a player: he is awful smooth, and he may want revenge for being jacked along for 2 years (I would). Ep 4 is early for a kiss like that, which means pacing-wise we may be in for a separation/break up around ep 8. 

Step By Step (Thai Tues WeTV & Gaga) ep 5 of 10 (MDL still says 12, but Gaga still says 10) - Pat, dear, your gay is squirting all over our screens. Meanwhile… That is the smallest presidential suite bed I’ve ever seen. Lucky for us of course. And lucky for Jeng. Me with the side dishes = UH OH. 

Our Skyy 2 (My School President) eps 9-10 - Alt reality where Tinn is in charge of the music club and Gun is the school president with the crush. Basically, it’s an excuse for them to play each others’ parts (which just highlighted how well they were cast, originally). Ultimately, Gemini is a better piner, and Fourth is a better tsundere. Although the reversed “holding it over his head” was v funny & Fourth IS a decent seme. (I also realized what I like so much about Fourth, like Saint he’s one of those rare full body actors.) Sound was a great uke and I loved how they changed his makeup for the role (did you notice?). TiwPor were as adorably ridiculous as ever. I liked the minor baby pairing for Aun, too. Still my NO SIGNING holds (although there was lots of dancing to counterbalance). In the end, all this really did was make me wanna rewatch the original. Which is not necessarily a bad thing. FYI The MV was a parody of HCTM, BB, 1k*. 8/10 

A Boss and a Babe (Fri YouTube) ep 12fin - It was a cute sappy ending for a cute-ish sappy-ish show. I cannot abide that the mom who condoned the rape of her daughter got forgiven. No. Stop it GMMTV. Review below. 

The Promise (Thai Weds YT & WeTV) ep 9 of 10 - I'm in trouble when I'm rooting for everybody BUT the main couple. I guess Nan doesn’t have a NO SINGING policy. Also I guess Nan was waiting for Phu all along? This show. ALSO could we not have just ended it here? 

Past-senger (Thai Weds Gaga) ep 11 of 12 eps - I don’t understand. What? Where did all these new characters come from? Do we care about the hets? Not even slightly. What is anyone doing? What’s going on? do I care abotu anyone anymore? No. Please make it stop. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Our Dining Table AKA Bokura no Shokutaku (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 7 of 10 - OMG so adorable, so repressed, so reserved, so soft, so awkward, so special. Heart melting. Also. Hungry. The WAY Minoru looks at Yutaka when he’s eating (now that he knows the history). The way we got to see the exact moment that Minoru realizes he is in love. Perfection. 

Star Struck (Korea iQIYI & Gaga) ep 1-2 of 8 - Zuho (Kpop SF9 - noted good egg) opposite rookie actor Kim In Sung (the one with the crush). icky is being weird about it but it looks like Gaga also picked it up? Depends on your territory I suppose. Anygay: Friends since childhood, jock/nerd, puppy/cat and I sense bi-himbo confusion and pining introvert gay. There’s family strife plus class issues and it has some interesting things to say already about the nature of friendship, romance, and jealousy. I like it, weirdly reminds me of something that might have come out of China. Not early CBL, but some of the later stuff that was censored but hearkened to Addicted. This has the feel of what China could have made now (were things politically different). Because of this feel, I’m not confident in this being an HEA or even a true BL but it is interesting enough for me to bump it way up the ranks. 

Happy Merry Ending (Korea Thurs Gaga) eps 7-8fin - I get why SJ pushed JH away, but I kinda agree that SJ is too much work. Abused or not, I wouldn’t put in the damn effort - so I guess I’m glad SJ took a year off to figure his shizz out? Far be it from me to agree with a year break in a Kdrama, tho. I didn’t even mind that they were separated most of these 2 eps: it was nice to see a Seme told no, who actually backed off and did as he was told. Plus the running of the gays (how Japan of you SK). I’m assuming that this was the final episode and that Viki thinking that there are 2 more is bonkers? Because this felt like a finale. For me this one had a stronger finish than any other aspect of the show (odd when the couple spent the bulk of it apart). Oh! And someone give Shin Myung Sung (the surfer bestie) his own damn BL, m’kay? Review below.

Love Mate (Korea Thurs Viki) eps 5-6 of 8 - Longest elevator ride in the world. Honorifics discussion! My favorite! And, “there is only one bed but they slept together on the floor anyway” trope. A BL staple. Also the tie/lanyard grab. Another fav. Still pushy puppy stalker remains creepy manipulative obsessive warped hotness. Basically KBL version of trash and… I’m into it. We all got our kinks, I guess. 

Vian the series (Vietnam YouTube ) - Such a cat. I’m reminded of Milk. It’s cute. They cute. I like it.

Naked Dinner AKA Zenra Meshi (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 6 of 12 - So is the nude dining meant to be some kind of weird allegory for repressed gayness? 

It’s Airing But ...

My Story (Pinoy Sat YouTube) 10 eps - I bounced at ep 4. Someone will tell me if I should bother with the rest. 

House of Stars (Thai Mon iQIYI) 12 eps - I bounced at ep 3. Will binge if told it is worth it at end. 

The Day I Loved You (Pinoy YouTube) eps 6-7 of 10 - Terminal illness for the sunshine. I bounced at ep 6. DNF. 

Ended this week

Love Syndrome finished its run on WeTV (I stopped at ep 2) - anyone wanna weight in with thoughts on the ending and whether I should binge or not? I do love Lee Long Shi.

Happy Merry Ending - Stars Lee Dong Won (KNK) as an ex-idol turned wedding singer with an abusive ex and a panic disorder + the sunshine pianist who falls in love with him. Timid tsundere & sweetheart gay is an interesting match. They’re gentle together, almost kindly and there is a calm ache to their pairing. However, it lost its way as a BL, being more about the main character’s struggle than the romance. It had a strong finish but ultimately the premise & characters meant this was never going to be one of my favorites. 8/10  

A Boss and a Babe - With an inconsistent narrative and self-sabotaging characters this was not the Thai BL office romance I was hoping for. I spent most if it feeling manipulated without good reason and sorry for ForceBook. They did their best with a shoddy script (AGAIN!) and none of its flaws were their fault. This show was all over the place and so am I about it. It’s better than Enchanté but that’s not really saying much. 7/10 I guess

In Case You Missed It 

BL Express reported that Taiwanese production companies have announced 7 new BLs (4 of these from Vidol.) Stories range from office romance to crime drama. 

Someone did a survey on KBL watchers. 

Build Jakapan has been cleared of all charges. 

Next Week Looks Like This:

Starting this week: 

5/26 Be My Favorite prev title: You Are My Favorite (Thai YouTube) Adapted JittiRain y-novel (2gether, FUTS, ToL, Vice Versa) one of those “rewrite the past to change the future.” Stars Krist (SOTUS) + Fluke Gawin (DBK, Not Me). Expect this to be v low heat, full of LIES and manipulation.

5/27 The Luminous Solution (Thai ????) 10 eps - Thana is having trouble at work and in his relationship. He can't seem to catch a break. So he makes a wish to change everything. The wish has a price.

5/27 Takumi-kun Series 6: Nagai Nagai Monogatari no Hajimari no Asa (Japan) - NO ONE ASKED FOR THIS (but that has never stopped Japan before) and no, I have no idea where to get it, why would I ?????  (Say it with me everyone: Oh Japan, must you?*)

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED)

This Week’s Meta Moments 

naturellement (Step By Step naming its trope.)

The Promise calling out the uke archetype, Mary Sue much? 

ALL THE DANCING. Live the dream! Live the trend! Live the trope! 

4 tropes in one! Drinking, piggyback, feed him, product placement. Very nice GMMTV & GeminiFourth. I’m impressed.  

nash

(all My School President’s Our Skyy - kinda a masterclass in using ALL THE TROPES and ALL THE BL references.) 

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

The unmitigated irony of so-called fans of ZeeNunew coming after this show for this moment (not to mention the self sabotage). Truly mind boggling. (Step by Step)

The two boys who didn’t win the boy but totally should have. This show makes me wanna drink too. Next week... soju! (The Promise)

Yes please and thank you GMMTV. (My School President) 

I do love the kinkification of Phi. (Boss & Babe) 

These tiny idiots it turns out are, in fact, totally hilarious. La Pulie (side dish friendship group)

(last week)

Current Kpop earworm? Key & Taeyeon’s Hate that... (which if it wasn’t an OST SHOULD have been)

[elliespassagerprincess]

I've been obsessed with john buckleys "everybody here wants you" I'd love to see your take on it maybe from the readers pov like where we are admiring ellie

Everybody here wants you - (ellie williams x reader)

Hi anon! your wish, is command... I hope you enjoy <3

This story is based off the song Everybody here wants you by Jeff Buckley, if you can please listen to the song as you're reading:)

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

Requests are always open feel free to leave one or just send me a song and I'll take it from there:) or just send me your thoughts....

HUGE Warning: obsession, stalking, murder, gore, self harm, reader is unhinged, Dina slander (we love Dina but for the sake of the plot we're haters)

Summary: In which you fell in love with someone you couldn't have

wc: 1.9k

29 pearls in your kiss

A singing smile

Coffee smell and lilac skin

Your flame in me

I'm only here for this moment

When you first laid eyes on Ellie it felt like your body was on fire.

Ellie awakened some deep desire in you, that even you yourself didn’t understand.

When she caught you staring all she could do was give you a small smile, and you felt your stomach erupt with butterflies. Even after she caught you, you couldn’t help but to continue staring.

 The way her autumn brown hair was in a half up, half down look, the way the red and green flannel hugged her arms the right way, how her side profile looked. Just everything about her. Everything about her was without fault.

god really has his favorites huh?

You didn’t know who she was, you didn’t know her name but god she was doing things to you. You got up from where you were sitting and walked behind her. As soon as you walked past her, a strong scent of pinewood hit you.

Wow jesus, ok does she bath in her perfume? You thought to yourself.

As you stood at the other side of the room watching this beautiful woman you heard someone scream “Ellie” the autumn brown haired girl’s head snapped up, looking at another girl.

You wanted to vomit.

You wanted to stab your eyes out after watching Ellie smile with someone else.

“Dina!” Ellie screamed back standing up and immediately running to the girl with dark hair and hugging her. Even though you were filled with jealousy you knew her name now.

Ellie.

Your Ellie.

I know everybody here wants you

I know everybody here thinks he needs you

I'll be waiting right here just to show you

How our love will blow it all away

You weren’t stupid. Ellie was an attractive girl. The day you met Ellie you saw how people looked at her. The way their gaze’s lingered on her beautiful face. Whether it was men or women it seemed that Ellie’s beauty had everyone in awe.

Everybody here wanted Ellie. Everybody in this room did.

How would Ellie notice you when there’s hundreds, probably thousands of people throwing themselves at her.

That day when you first saw Ellie and found out her name, you spent exactly 72 hours looking for her Instagram. You went through thousands of accounts trying to find her. When you eventually found Ellie’s Instagram you learned a lot more about her.

She loved skating, she’s very gay and she has a best friend named Dina.

You let out a sigh of relief when you realized that they were only friends. But the way Ellie smiled at her made your stomach churn.

You saw Dina as a threat.

Who wouldn’t? She was everything you weren’t. And at least Ellie knew of her existence.

You clicked on Dina’s profile going through each one of her posts, comments and everything about her. You memorized Dina’s page, every post, comment and caption. You had to figure out what Ellie saw in Dina. You had to become Dina.

A week went by, and neither Ellie or Dina posted anything. You felt like you were losing your mind. As soon as you wanted to give up and move on, Dina made a post that she was throwing a huge party. A smile appeared on your face. This was your chance.

Miracles do happen. You were going to that party. And you were going to get Ellie’s number.

Hmm, such a thing of wonder in this crowd

I'm a stranger in this town

You're free with me

And our eyes locked in downcast love

I sit here proud

Even now, you're undressed in your dreams with me

You shouldn’t have come here. Everybody in this room wanted Ellie. The way they all started at her with hungry eyes, the way they were practically undressing her with their eyes. You didn’t like this. You didn’t like the way they were looking at your girl.

You were burning holes into the back of Ellie’s head at this point. Ellie turned around frowning when somebody bumped into her, and for the first time in almost two weeks the two of you locked eyes again.

Ellie gave you a smile. That fucking smile. The same one she gave you two weeks ago. You sat there frozen after she turned away. You didn’t know if you should cry or be excited. Ellie smiled at you. She definitely wants you.

You felt out of place. Everyone in this stupid party knew each other. You felt like you didn’t belong. You hated being here, but if it means you’ll be in Ellie’s presence a little longer you’ll put up with it.

“Hi” you heard a voice say behind you, and when you turned around your eyes met with Dina’s.

“Hi Dina” you said softly.

“How do you know my name?”

fuck how did you know her name?

were you supposed to tell the truth? that you were stalking her?

“I’m a friend of Ellie’s” you smiled.

“Oh! A friend of Ellie’s is a friend of mine!” She gave you a bright smile bringing you in for a hug.

 “It was nice meeting you” Dina smiled as she started walking away. Your eyes followed her seeing that she was walking towards Ellie.

Fuck fuck fuck no no no

what happens if she asks Ellie about you? They would know you’re a fake. And you’d never get a chance with Ellie.

“Hey Dina” you called out and she turned toward you, “yeah?” she yelled over the music.

“Can you please show me where the bathroom is?”

 “Oh yeah follow me” Dina reached out you, offering her hand so that you can grab it. The two of you walked in the crowd hand in hand.

Dina was talking too much. She’s so fucking annoying you thought to yourself.  

What does Ellie see in her?

“Here we go” Dina said as she pushed open a door. The room was decorated with white and blue wallpaper, and there was a bed in the middle of the room.

“You want me to pee on the bed?” you questioned.

“No silly” Dina laughed she walked to the other side of the room pushing open another door, revealing a bathroom.

“Wait let me check if there’s toilet paper- “

 Dina’s body landed on the floor with a thud as blood seeped from her head. You stood above her holding a lamp heavily breathing. Tears pricked your eyes.

What the fuck were you thinking? You weren’t a killer. You never wanted to harm Dina.

You looked down at your hands seeing that the blood on top of the lamp dripped down onto your own hands.

“No” you yelled throwing it on the ground. You sat on the bed sobbing.

You were going to prison. You were a killer. You were dirty. You were a bad person.

No.

No you weren’t.

Dina was going to tell Ellie. She was going to tell Ellie that you lied. You weren’t a bad person, you just made a mistake. A mistake that you will clean up before anyone came looking for Dina.

You quickly got up wiping the tears from your eyes, and you locked the door.

You quickly grabbed a towel and you wrapped it around her head to try and stop the bleeding as much as you can to make the cleanup easier. You dragged Dina’s body closer to the bed as you let out a grunt as you placed her on the bed.

You walked to the bathroom looking through the cupboard “fuck yeah” you breathed when you saw a pack of razors. You gently took one out and you walked over to Dina.

She was still breathing, but you knew after this she wouldn’t.

You took the razor and you dragged across her writs. On each arm you dragged it 4 times and you watched the blood pool out of her arms. You gently removed the towel from her head, seeing her eyes were open and her mouth was moving.

 “I’m sorry” you breathed.

 It was an accident. You weren’t a bad person.

You took some blood from her wrists and she winched, you walked over to the wall and you wrote the words “I’m sorry” hoping that they might think that Dina is apologizing for her “suicide”.

 But in reality this was you apologizing to everyone you knew this was going to affect.

You got down on your knees and you cleaned the blood from Dina’s first wound that was still left on the floor. By the time the place was spotless Dina already too her last breath, as the sheets were soaked with her blood.

“I’m sorry” you apologized one more time before you jumped out the window running home.

The only regret you had that night was not getting Ellie’s number.

I know the tears we cried

Have dried on yesterday

The sea of fools has parted for us

There's nothing in our way, my love

“I’m sorry for your loss” you spoke softly.

“Who are you?” Ellie asked.

“I was a friend of Dina’s” you lied.

Ellie sniffled “do you know why she killed herself?” she asked as she looked at Dina’s grave again.

 “No” you muttered

“I thought she was happy”

"me too"

“Wait you’re that girl from the party” Ellie said after a few minutes of silence. Your stomach fluttered at the fact that she remembered you.

“Yeah” you smiled

You and Ellie spoke about Dina for a while, you made up stories about what great friends you and Eina were and you were happy that Ellie could finally talk to you.

The two of you exchanged numbers that day and you couldn’t be happier.

Dina didn’t die in vain. She died for you and Ellie to be happy. There was nothing standing in the way of your love anymore.

Don't you see, don't you see?

You're just the torch to put the flame to all our guilt and shame

And I'll rise like an ember in your name

I know I, I know

Why didn’t Ellie see? You were here for her since Dina’s funeral.

Why wasn’t she falling in love with you? Why didn’t she realized everything you’ve done for her? Every time you would show Ellie affection or love she never showed it back. Ellie saw you as an acquaintance not a friend and it was the hardest thing for you to accept.

You knew that deep down she loved you.

Maybe she’s scared of her feelings. Maybe she didn’t love you. Maybe you need to encourage her. Maybe you need to show her how much you loved her.

And that’s exactly what you did. You showed her.

You stared texting her more often, you started following her around. You sent her letters. And soon Ellie blocked you. She’d throw rocks at you when she’d see you.

 Ellie sprayed you with pepper spray once. Ellie was doing anything and everything she can to stay away from you. She even moved across the city to get away.

But you’d always find her. You’d always get her.

Ellie awoke something in you. Something primal, an animal instinct. You blame her for the way you’re acting. She made you this way.

You tormented Ellie for 2 months she got a restraining order against you. But that didn’t stop you. You just learned to become sneakier. You’d still follow her around you still text but for different number, you’d pretend to be different people.

Ellie was going to love you one way or another. You’d make her love you, with or without that stupid restraining order.

The restraining order reminded you of Dina. It was something that was in the way of you and Ellie’s love. The same way you got rid of Dina, the same way you could get rid of that restraining order. After all Dina was temporary, her life ended. The same was that restraining order was temporary. It will end eventually too, and you’d finally get your chance with Ellie.

I know everybody here, well, thinks he needs you

Thinks he needs you

And I'll be waiting right here just to show you

Everybody at this park wanted Ellie. You hated the way they stared at her as she walked. You hated all of this. You wish you could stick a knife into all their eyes sockets to make them all stop staring at her.

Ellie still hasn’t noticed you after all this time. Even after Dina’s death you thought you had something. But its ok. One day Ellie will realize that you were the one for her. One day she’ll see you the way you see her.

21 days left. 21 days before the restraining order expires. After 5 long years of watching Ellie from afar was soon coming to an end.

You’ll wait for her. Even if it takes forever.

She’ll come around, you know she will, and until then you’ll admire her till the two of you could finally be together.

Authors note: Another long one lmao, but remember you are loved and to always be kind. My requests and pm’s are always open for anything and anyone:)

Yours truly,

Zia <3

[huntingrays]

wrightworth fake dating au

one day, phoenix gets a wedding invite in the mail from a family member. as he’s reading it, he realizes it’s from his least favorite aunt that he had beef with. he doesn’t see her often due to some comments she’s made about his bisexuality (she’s not overly rude or homophobic but the comments still don’t fly with his gay moms), but the encounters he’s had still leave a bitter taste in his mouth and his blood boiling. normally, he’d rsvp no, but he’s petty and desperate to show her up at her wedding to her third husband.

he decides the best way to do this is to propose to his gay lover at her wedding.

the only problem is that he doesn’t have a gay lover.

he’s going to have to fake date someone and make their relationship look real enough for a proposal to be believable. he comes to the realization that only one qualified enough… is miles.

it takes a lot to convince miles (he’s sure it’s a horrible plan and he has no clue why he’d agree to a deal where the only thing in it for him is more unnecessary feelings), but he eventually gives due to phoenix’s incessant begging.

since phoenix wants their fake relationship to be perfect, he has them go on fake dates (that are weirdly similar to the dinners they often go on) as well as go over the details of their “relationship” (they make it similar to their current friendship, just with them falling in love and getting together after phoenix gets his badge back). it took a lot of convincing for miles to agree to the proposal plan on top of the fake dating scheme, but he can’t win arguments with wright when he’s dead set on a crazy idea, so he begrudgingly gives in (as long as he gets to pick out the ring, because he doubts wright would pick a good enough ring for their fake engagement).

the day comes and the two are confident in their plan. the only problem could be wright’s moms, since he’s close to them and he’s not sure if they’d buy him not telling them about him being in a relationship. however, to their great surprise, they buy it pretty easily. one of them said she suspected it would happen sooner or later with how much phoenix talks about miles while the other assumed that they had been dating for years and just didn’t outwardly say it due to it being obvious (“i mean, i had a feeling you were in love with him after you confessed you wanted to go into law to help him after seeing him in the paper” -mrs. wright).

the wedding is fairly uneventful, and phoenix makes sure to show off his “partner” to everybody he interacts with, since he’s sure loudly and proudly being in love with another man at her wedding would piss of his aunt more (by the time the reception rolls around, miles is incredibly flustered despite the whole relationship being fake).

their proposal goes off without a hitch, and phoenix relishes in the furious look on his aunt’s face.

phoenix expects it to end after the wedding is over. after all, he and miles part ways after, and all he has is the memories and his intense feelings for his dear friend.

however, it does not, in fact, end there.

what phoenix didn’t know was that an old acquaintance was the plus one for one of his cousins. she saw the proposal and had to take a picture, confident that a story about the engagement between chief prosecutor miles edgeworth and defense attorney phoenix wright would be just the thing to really kick off her career.

turns out, lotta hart was very right, and phoenix and miles had to deal with their fake proposal being very public (as well as their friends being upset that they weren’t even told that the two were dating in the first place)

[lemonhemlock]

it's amusing to me how ppl will try to criticise alicent's "where is duty, where is scarifice" by saying it's just her demanding why rhaenyra doesn't "submit to men", "scarifice her happiness", "give up her bodily autonomy" blah blah blah.

there is such a smugness and it's made worse by their security in them thinking this defense of rhaenyra is flawless."

submit to men". im not even going to deign to respond by pointing out all the ways which shows this simply isn't true or at least challengeable for alicent, but in the context of rhaenyra....its questionable because who made rhaenyra his heir in the first place? quickly. her father. rhaenyra "submits" to viserys' will by accepting his decision to name her princess of dragonstone. obviously she's only 14 then but it's a decision she continues to, using their language, "submit" to well into her adult life. of course, you could say that rhaenyra wants the throne anyway and that's fair but rhaenyra's own wants/needs are still ultimately irrelevant. they just happen to align with viserys' own wishes that stem from his powerful guilt over aemma and his conviction that he misread his "prophecy" wrong. it's because of these factors that one can find it really questionable that viserys would have listened to rhaenyra if she asked him to change the succession. what's more important, his daughter's happiness, or his need to redeem himself through her? im comfortable saying this because viserys at his core seems allergic doing right by his kids.another way it's questionable because again who is the final "authority" on rhaenyra's sons? quickly. her dad. rhaenyra's word by itself isn't good enough, she still has to submit to viserys' will through getting his protection.

"scarifice her happiness". mind you rhaenyra calls her own life a "droll tragedy". how great could that "happiness" (harwin) have been then? it's also very clear that harwin was never going to be enough for rhaenyra.

"bodily autonomy" I mean, I wish they kept this energy for alicent. but they don't. alicent's line to viserys "to have one child like that is a mistake" is also really interesting to me concerning this whole subject because it suggests that alicent would have been sympathetic to rhaenyra if she had been honest from the very start with jace's birth. but she doesn't and she ends up lying again and again. obviously rhaenyra lying about such a matter is going to be a huge trigger for someone like alicent whose father was removed from his position partly because of rhaenyra lying or not being wholly truthful.

sorry for the long post!

Hi there! I think there's a lot of naff defence of Rhaenyra and hypocrisy towards Alicent in TB's discourse, but, by now, there are a wealth of critical posts available that highlight these discrepancies and, if they don't pose any interest to them, we kind of, at some point, have to let bygones and be bygones and leave them to their little bubble. They can educate themselves from many sources now; it's not like when the show first aired and the meta was dominated by TB content. But if they don't want to engage in good faith arguing, then there's not much point in getting worked up about it. IMO a lot of these posters skew on the younger side, have a rather primitive view of feminism and rely heavily on anachronism, so girlboss pew pew is appealing to them. Maybe they'll grow out of it, maybe not, but we can't be educators for everybody.

That being said, onto the points you highlighted. I think I agree the most with "sacrifice her happiness", because Rhaenyra had all the options in the world for a husband, but she didn't take any of it seriously and exhausted everyone's goodwill after a ton of resources were wasted on her marriage audition tour for nothing,* until Viserys got tired of her tomfoolery and forced her to marry a closeted gay man. This is where a point about bodily autonomy can also be made, because Rhaenyra could have very well married Harwin (who was in her social sphere), had she taken any of this seriously.

*think of the cost of transporting her and hosting so many suitors under one roof - some of the bill being footed by the lords who were hosting her. Perhaps Lord Baratheon had better use of his time and money than organizing Rhaenyra's engagement contest. And you can bet she didn't just leech off of him, she must have visited other castles as well, since she is said to have been gone for several weeks (? can't remember). And all for what? It's very disrespectful.

I do have some sympathy for her because it's a lot to ask a 15(?)-year-old to start seriously considering marriage proposals, when that's probably the last thing she is interested in. And it is normal for teenagers to be immature. But there's got to be some give-and-take here. Rhaenyra can't both be the nominal heir and future queen, entrusted with more power than anyone else in the kingdom, and not heed any of her responsibilities. It is a position that comes with sacrifices and responsibilities; it's part of the job description. Making a politically-advantageous marriage is one of those compromises. Acknowledging that is not anti-feminist lol. God forbid kings and queens can't just do whatever the hell they want all the time.

And Rhaenyra is presented with choices: at no point does she refuse Viserys' offer to name her heir. He straight-up tells her at one point: choose a husband or I will name Aegon instead. She could have very well said "You know what, I didn't really think about what this would entail when you nominated me in the first place and now I kind of realise this is not for me. I don't really want to get married and I'm not particularly inclined towards politics either, so can we find some kind of alternative arrangement here?" Does she? No!

She doesn't want to run away with Criston and eat oranges either. Fair enough, but then you kind of have to move your butt and work towards securing your position as heir to the throne. Does she do that instead? No, lol. She's the definition of eating one's cake and having it too. In ep. 7 she bemoans to Viserys "I thought I wanted it" (i.e. the throne). So she does want it!

As far as her just going along with whatever Viserys wants, I am going to be generous again and say that I get she doesn't really want to disappoint her father and appear diminished in front of him, cool, but at some point you have to start taking responsibility for yourself and not just explain everything away resorting to your shitty childhood and relationship with your parents. And Rhaenyra never does. Especially when the stakes are this high. We're talking about the possibility of civil war here. It's very laissez-faire to the point of irresponsibility to just "go along" with this, in spite of succession laws, when you know people are going to be opposing your shaky claim, if you don't really want the throne deep down and are just half-arsing it.

And Rhaenyra can't blame it all on the follies of youth either. Because there is a time when she is a mature woman with three illegitimate children under her belt, not really putting in the work to diplomatically advance herself, being rude to people at court and just interested in her love affair and doing whatever she wants. But, by that time, Alicent had already produced 4 children, so Rhaenyra could have just noped out of this situation, if she considered it so shitty, and conceded to Aegon. Viserys by then was old and weak, he wouldn't have really put much of a fight if that's what she truly wanted. She could have lived her life as a very rich, privileged lady, but instead she chose to escalate and marry Daemon. And, no, the greens would not have killed Rhaenyra and her bastard children, not because of the kindness of their hearts, but because Rhaenyra's claim is comically weak and would not be taken seriously by any medieval historian, let alone by a person actually living in those times.

So this is where I wrap it up with the "submitting to men" argument. I don't think it's necessarily accurate to categorise Rhaenyra accepting Viserys' decision to name her heir as going against her will, because she is known to want the throne. What I think is more relevant here is to consider that Alicent is in a much more powerless position than Rhaenyra and doesn't really have much of a choice when it comes to defying men. Alicent is the daughter of a second son and she doesn't have a dragon soul-bonded to her who can roast people who annoy her. I think it quite trite to be "angry" with her (lol she's not real) that she has the (normal) coping mechanisms that she has and is not magically transformed into a rebel Lagertha figure who does whatever she wants and takes no shit from anyone.

However, I don't see the solution as Rhaenyra "submitting to men" either. I think that's a misrepresentation of the green stance (although I'm sure there certainly are green-aligned posters that skew more towards the Kinder-Kuche-Kirchen disposition). On my part, I don't see Rhaenyra respecting the basic law of the land as her submitting to men. Kings have to follow succession laws to acquire the throne, too, and then produce legitimate children to succeed them. Of course the law is meant to favour men, but not once does Rhaenyra do anything to further the cause of women in Westeros, only to further herself. She wants to be Queen, but it has to be served on a platter to her and she is not interested in putting any work in. She's not interested in the plight of bastards in Westeros, as long as her own bastards get comfy seats. At one point you have at least concede that she's mainly on a one-woman mission for her selfishness. And anyone is welcome to like her exactly as she is! She doesn't have to be morally pure to have fans.

But there comes a time when, after appraising the inequalities of the world, you also have to adjust your own behaviour so that you won't end up causing more harm in your quest to advance your own interests. You have to find a balance between your desire for absolute freedom and reforms that are achievable, because some progress is always better than no progress.

Some of this stuff is really complicated, like how can you integrate bastards in the inheritance process when most of the wealth is acquired via land and you live in a society in which people of means turn marriages into economic alliances, with vested interests in passing down that wealth to children related to both parents? The short answer is that you have to diversify the sources of wealth, but, for that, you need technological advancement, the rise of the middle class and, ultimately, to dismantle feudalism. Could Rhaenyra have accomplished this during her reign? No. Could anyone? Absolutely not. These are historical developments that happen gradually, over a great span of time, so the best any decision-maker could do is introduce incremental reforms that can help speed up this process, increase literacy rates* (you cannot become free if you cannot read) and, yes, tumblr is going to hate this, but engage in harm reduction - basically don't become part of the problem or an active vector of destabilisation.

That is wisdom that Rhaenyra never comes to possess. And, to cut her some slack again, this is truly visionary stuff, like very few people would be able to be so politically avant-garde. But, at the very least, Rhaenyra could have engaged in harm-reduction. And it's pretty insincere or misguided of TB to reduce this resolution to just "submitting to men".

*But can you even? You'd need to invent the printing press for this. See my mentioning the need to technological advancement.

[barrenclan]

Been too afraid to suggest this for a while bc... social anxiety,, so I'm going anon.

Just another music ask!! "The Line" by Vera Sola feels like a very Barrenclan song to me

Oooh, this is a good one, I can definitely see it. A lot of vibes for original RoseClan/early BarrenClan.

She was the first one to go <- Wheatstar I'll be back for you, the final words she spoke He was the second one to leave <- Ladybugstar Whispered, don't you worry

Because time is a warm dark circle Day is returned to the looping of the line Night is only a passing thing We'll be back again when it's right

Fellas, is it gay to feel like this about your boss?

I don't show it but I quiver whenever you come near And I cannot decipher between the thrill and the fear I wanna stop it but like it too much to let it stop here It's wrong but I want you tonight It's not my own volition but I fell in deep By running the distance I've been advised to keep I trot to the wolf as a doting sheep It's wrong but I want you tonight

Rainhaze works with like 50% of songs ever made. He is my most Ashfur-esque character in that way.

There's a scavenger on the wind alone Where he roams in the land of the dust and bones

Nobody wants to be your friend when you're a scavenger on the wind

My mom is an oldschool fan of Laurie Anderson, and I listened to her growing up, so I was quite surprised to see that this song has become viral on TikTok. I highly recommend listening to the whole song, and her others as well.

And I said, "Okay, who is this really?" And the voice said "This is the hand, the hand that takes"

And when justice is gone There's always force And when force is gone There's always Mom, hi Mom

As long as people keep sending me songs, I'll keep doing them.

Maybe it's just a stupid dream I know you'd never change your life to be with me Six hours north in a city by the sea I want you herе right now I want you here with me

If I were closer, would you remember The way I made you feel in September? You said it's too cold in San Francisco But I keep you warm so you'll take me where you go

I am always here for a musical song, especially Into the Woods. Anything witchy character works for Nightberry.

THREE DAYS GRACE MENTIONED! The actual inspiration for the song came from an El Tango de Roxanne lyric, specifically this one:

"You're free to leave me, but just don't deceive me And please, believe me when I say I love you"

I like this song a lot too. Cormorantpaw works with any thrash-type music.

I have to ask cause I need something to last Too many times I've been left behind <- ohh... the corm......

Will you love me or leave me forever? Will you love me or leave me forever?

HAH I love it.

Yeah I can see it!

My parents sold me to a preacher Now I miss my mom and dad I heard they joined a cult They say, mass suicidal death I’m locked inside the church They say the prophecy’s foretold

They’ll preach salvation as they tie my limbs And rip out my teeth They’ll soak their daggers In the pigs blood As I beg and I plead

The Garden is actually already on the PATFW playlist! For the reasons which you listed, and I agree with you. :) Never Love An Anchor is also Slugpelt's themesong.

It looks like this one has been suggested before, probably for Rainhaze or Deepdark! I love Saint Motel's music.

Nobody has ever seen his face But fear his smile I heard he'll drink your blood just for the taste

Everybody tends to disagree On just how evil A single human being should ever be And all your bones, they scream for more

[pickastitch]

Hai i want to listen to you talk about gem again. Any thoughts on empires s1 gem ? (If u already told me then tell me again plz n thank u <3 )

confession time, the s1 e!gem that is always brainrotting is pretty different from canon s1 e!gem (from what i can remember) so i'm going to talk about my pantheon au version of gem

i like to think gem would say, "it's free to be a hater" after sausage or fwhip does some stupid shit. on a more serious note, i feel there has to be some genuine resentment towards them two for dragging her into their bs, even if it's not a lot it is there. gem killing sausage in that one important lore bit was so cathartic to her

gem really admires katherine mainly because of how non involved she is with everything. she always feels the need to help everyone (see my gem character analysis post), and the fact that katherine just steps back is enviable to her

in my head, gem also uses a lot more fire magic than she does in the series; this contracts nicely with katherine's nature magic. gandalf, her cat, will decide if they like a person or not, and that will be gem's first impression of a person. it's quite hard to break from it too

now i'm going to dip in to some hc s8 territory, but it will come back to esmp s1. at the start of the series, gem has no clue she is bi and false is actually her gay awakening. gem looks up to her a lot, and she watches her run away and leave her friends behind. this leads to her reaction during the rapture (season ending), where she only takes fwhip because he directly asked, instead of helping out everybody. like come on, they both fly away on their base defining organic

fwhip and gem were royalty, but because gender roles, their parents were forcing gem to be king (trans roseblings tust), gem felt like her only option was to run away. when she finds out about the crown made by fwhip, she is a little uncomfortable with the concept but doesn't say anything. though when others try to convince her she should get it gem is beyond pissed

before she ran away, pearl showed her all about rifts (it has something to do with amethyst shards, but that's a whole different post) and offers to take her to hermitcraft, which she refuses. until she wants to run away and then goes to the place she wants to set up her village and then goes to another world while everyone is searching for her

gem's relationship with shrub is very unique because she so wants to just yell at them for bringing xornoth to the overworld and then spreading it across her place. on the other hand, she sees herself in them as someone who also ran away from home. but then that gets ruined when she is infected with xornoth via shrub

when she still lived with her family, pearl and sausage lived in neighboring empires, and they all grew up together. gem and sausage dated a bit when they were really young, so they are exs on technicality. most of her romantic feelings have gone away, but whenever sausage firts with her, a crush appears for a day and then goes away. she hates this more than anything else. then they grow up, and gem realizes she likes women and then realize she likes pearl specifically. and then pearl and sausage get together (actually qpr, but gem doesn't know that), and she swears off of romance

and the connection to the void and the end and all that stuff is a pretty important part of this au but ehhhh y'know

[virusgeist]

REGARDING THE "STOP BEING CUTE MOTHERFUCKER BEFORE I KISS YOU" WOLFWOOD STYLE VASHWOOD

I mean I like it a lot tbh... these are more ideas than anything...

I can see Wolfwood bringing it up a lot like 'stop looking at me like that' or 'stop making those noises' or 'stop acting like that' and Vash usually automatically assumes it's cause he's done something wrong. He confronts him one time about why he's always bullying him but Wolfwood laughs at him for even thinking like that like...

"No... I'm warning you for your own good."

Vash gets angry about him laughing and the rather vague answer. They argue and get into a little scuffle. Wolfwood slamming him up against the wall trying to make him see eye to eye with him. Vash still not getting it and Wolfwood still dancing around the truth.

Wolfwood half yells at him having to explain further, "I'm trying to save you from this nearly uncontrollable animalistic hunger that rises within me when I'm with you!!"

Vash blinks. Finally catching on to what he means and his face flushing ten shades of red. Wolfwood realizing what he's said he blushes too. He didn't mean for it to be as intense as that, more or less merely kissing but... he wasn't going to correct himself sense it still technically was the truth.

He lets Vash go and tries to play it off cool taking out a cigarette.

A few minutes go by and Vash breaks the silence, "I... I didn't know you felt that way around me... I'm sorry."

Wolfwood surprised at how unbelievable Vash is, he truly thinks everything is his fault, "What are you sorry for Blondie- I like you dumbass. That's just how it is."

Vash looks at him bewildered. Nicholas liking the likes of him? It seems unreal... and even wanting to do... Was he even gay-

Wolfwood snaps his fingers in his face,"C'mon say something-"

Vash focuses on Wolfwood again. He wasn't sure what to say. "I... uh... I don't... know what to say."

Vash can visibly see the total disappointment settling in Wolfwood's face. He scrambles for more words not wanting to see him upset,

"I mean- I think I like you too! I just- I don't..." he scratches the back of his head unsure how to put it. "I have never... really been in a relationship like that before?"

Now it was Wolfwood's turn to be bewildered. "You're telling me you're 150 years old and you've never been in a relationship?" Wolfwood furrows his eyebrows and Vash nods.

"Never kissed-" he continues and Vash shakes his head.

"No sex?" He asked hopefully a last time. Vash shook his head again feeling a little embarrassed at these invasive questions.

Wolfwood clears his throat and throws his cigarette on the ground stomping it with his foot.

He starts chuckling to himself and looks up Vash like he's some kind of delicious meal, "Huh. Just... no time for it? or..."

Vash starts shifting in place and just folds his arms not sure where else to put them. "I've never really had the chance okay-"

Wolfwood walks closer to him. Vash stepping backwards till his back hits that same wall they were fighting on before. Wolfwood putting his hand on the wall next to his head and Vash's breath hitched. Unsure of his intentions but Wolfwood grabbing his chin gently with his other hand leaning ever so close making said intentions more clear.

"Well how about now, do you want me to kiss you?" His voice was sultry and his closeness made Vash forget how to speak. All he could manage was a faint, "Uh-huh." and a small nod.

His reaction made Wolfwood smirk and brush Vash's bottom lip with his thumb. "You're so perfect."

...

This is also like. In the middle of a mission and nobody else can get ahold of these fucks for a long while and everybody is worried and when they finally show up they keep asking where the fuck they were and what da fuck they were doing the whole time. Getting angry cause they were worried.

Wolfwood just tells them them they were really busy and didn't look at the time and not to worry about it besides its none of their business. They bicker for a while longer and she notices Vash hasn't said a word.

Meryl glances at Vash and he's just avoiding eye contact at all cost with a permanent blush across his face. She's getting ideas and overprotectively YELLS AT WOLFWOOD LIKE WTF DID YOU DO TO VASH!?

Wolfwood assures her he didn't do anything Vash didn't want him to do. Vash just coughs and suggests everybody to focus on their task again and to forget about it. Which saying that he unknowingly hurts Wolfwood's feelings... like he wants to forget... what they had done and said back there. Like it was just some spur of the moment thing or something.

Though he wouldn't let anyone know he was upset. Not even Vash. He scoffs and says, "Fine." Pulling out a cigarette and walking away cause that's his fuckin coping mechanism bshdjxm

He starts to be cold towards Vash and Vash takes notice almost immediately. Though they only talk about it in the middle of a gun fight later. Which is unfortunate to say the least lol.

Wolfwood pulls Vash off to a safer area and point his own gun at Vash and ask him why he shouldn't kill him where he stands for using him like that. Vash is EXTREMELY confused and Wolfwood has to explain further. Vash understands now how he might have taken it- assuring him that it's a misunderstanding...

He informs him he was honestly embarrassed about the whole ordeal and he didn't mean to hurt his feelings... and that he doesnt wanna forget and is sure he loves him. He does want him to be his first and hopefully last boyfriend.

Wolfwood looks into his eyes for a good few seconds before crashing his lips into Vash's in the most sloppy way. He smiles at him and tells him he's got a gunfight to get back to.