#he will end up spoiling the shit out of the mech whether he likes it or not

[transingthoseformers]

Little crack idea but Megatron, upon capturing Optimus, learns just how terrible this mech is at self care and this leads to the funniest of dances where Megatron is gradually increasing Optimus's freedom / QOL and trying to show him "look life can be better than that now take the fucking fancy soap"

[wheremytwinwatches]

[Where My Twin Watches]: Puella Magi Madoka Magica Episode 9 Review

Tephi was upset that I didn't include this in my last post:

Ah, Farquaad. Who I just looked up the voice actor of- John Lithgow?! Wow, ok then. Farquaad, you may have been one of the few characters who had absolutely no redeeming qualities. I mean, at least the pictures I posted were of characters who had beneficial goals, even if they went about them in the most cartoonishly evil ways possible. Farquaad was just a dick. But that quote does a damn good job of summing up Bunny-Cat.

Afraid that I’ve been busy studying for a test this Monday, but I think I can snag some time Tuesday morning to start Ep 10. Until then, maybe a short post on my thoughts-

Keeper of Tales said:Ranubis you have probably noticed the sharp up-swell in conversation since you began hitting oh, episodes three, six, eight and nine. Part of this is that you came into this series with a very different mindset than usual and there was a real risk of ruining that. If you read this before the next episode could you tell us what your thoughts upon the characters are and how they have changed? The entire cast if you can. Thank you for your time.

Ok, make that a detailed response on each of the characters. Here we go!

Madoka Kaname

Our title character and protagonist… who’s kinda just been along for the ride all this time. She really bucks the trend of main characters that I’ve gotten used to in most shows. No powers, no real strengths of her own beyond her kind nature. Heck, if she wasn’t the first character to appear and the show wasn’t named after her it wouldn’t be hard to call her a side character. I think back to Gurren Lagann, how Simon had the same meek attitude and was overshadowed Kamina. But then, he got his mini-mech by the end of the first episode, Madoka has yet to pick up any tools. Even Sayaka showed up next episode with a baseball bat, Madoka’s just been tagging along.

And yet, everything revolves around her. Madoka had the Future Dream at the very beginning. Sayaka got involved because she was Madoka’s best friend. Homura focused on Madoka that first school day and tried to warn her away from the trials of Magical Girl-ing. Mami tried to recruit Madoka because she sensed she would become a powerful MG in helping defend the city. Kyoko, who showed up as a hard-line Magical Girl, in the space of apparently a few days joined the Madoka Protection Brigade. And of course, it’s clear now that the Incubator’s been manipulating things to ensure that Madoka makes a Contract, that will net it a ton of emergy.

Still, we’re nearing the end of the show, and I’m 50/50 on whether or not that Madoka will actually make a Contract, especially if Homura has anything to say about it. I mean, if the Incubator flat-out tells her that only she with MG powers can save the day, her helpful attitude is going to steer her straight into selling her soul. The question remains: how far is Homura going to go to stop that?

Sayaka Miki

Best friend of the main character, initially I was amused at how she bucked the Red Oni, Blue Oni trope as being much more outgoing and aggressive than Madoka (pink is a lightish-red, it fits). That got flipped around later when she turned into a Paladin and contrasted with Kyoko. Such a fun character, cheerfully bringing a common baseball bat to fight the monsters, calling herself an Ally of Justice, a great heroine. Unfortunately, it seems that that is Urobuchi’s favorite character-type to stomp on, the show could probably be called “Everything goes wrong for this poor girl Sayaka”. She loses her soul, her crush, her idealism… guh,

It was just depressing, seeing how Sayaka kept going further and further into her Paladin identity until she had nothing left. Losing her optimism, going on a Roaring Rampage of Despair fighting familiars instead of getting Grief Seeds… I keep thinking about Homura about to kill Sayaka. She said it was to protect Madoka from more suffering, but I think that there was at least a little bit of mercy to Sayaka there too. Kill the girl, before she becomes a Witch.

I just wish that things could have been better for Sayaka. She meant well, wanted to save people. Yes, there was an element of wanting to be with Kamijo in her Wish, but can you really blame her for that? She wanted to be a hero. Instead, she became a monster.

Kyubey (Incubator)

Yeah. I can only imagine how you jerks were sniggering in my early posts. I mean, I start out thinking “Ok, here’s the show’s mascot, I’m a little creeped out by the red eyes but whatever.” Then I start thinking he’s cute, plays off the girls well. Then I get annoyed at how he keeps acting like a salesman, really pushing the girls on the Contract. Then… well, then Bunnycat was revealed for the absolute jerk it is.

Seriously. The show’s mascot turns out to be the main villain, twisting plans and leaving snide little comments to achieve it’s goal of turning these young girls into batteries. No, not batteries, coal: fit for one quick burst of energy, who cares where the smoke goes afterwards. All that smiling, those cute comments, those pushes for a contract to be made, not telling the girls the true cost of the Contract even when he knows, or rather because, it knows how they will act, implying (but never outright lying) actions that play right into its tiny, bloodstained paws.

And we can’t even kill it, apparently. Homura shot it what I would normally call an unnecessary amount of times. But as it turns out, it was just a waste of ammo, since the Incubator can just show up in a new body. It can show up without an invite apparently anywhere, it can’t be killed… in a show of murdering Witches, it is the real monster.

Mami Tomoe

Mami… :’(

I was so happy when she showed up that first episode. An experienced Magical Girl who can summon a ton of muskets? Standing up to the (apparent) Bad Girl, taking our main character and sidekick under her wing? And she only got better from there, teaching our characters about the world, fighting a Witch one-on-one, destroying it with an artillery piece and then landing for tea.

Classy.

Then we get a tragic backstory, she’s shown to be lonely. But our characters are there to help her fight these monsters and stop whatever plan the Bad Girl is brewing up! And look at that, she and Madoka are so adorable together, I can’t wait for them to-

And then Urobuchi took my heart and stabbed it.

Mami’s story should not have ended there. If she had just listened to Homura about the Witch, if Madoka or Sayaka had Contracted and could help her, if she had not gone into that fight distracted and happy about the future and focused more… but she didn’t. And she died.

Ever since that episode, Mami’s absence has cast a pall over everything. Madoka is understandably terrified from seeing her mentor eaten right in front of her, Sayaka was driven to imitate Mami’s lone fighter style, Kyoko got involved because she was attracted to the “open territory”, and Homura seemed to hope that it would scare off the Muggles from Contracting.

For a while, I thought that “Ok, that took me completely by surprise, but now I see what will make the girl’s Contract! Madoka will wish for Mami back, we’ll get our lovely team fighting these monsters a little more cautiously now that they know the risks but it’ll still be exciting and they will be adokrable on these missions and Sayaka will tease them for being so cute and…”. But nope, it was just the start of the Pain Train.

Kyoko Sakura

Oh jeez, has my perspective of Kyoko changed from that first scene of her looking down on the town. At first I thought she’d just be a competitor, maybe an ally of Homura. Then she spouts off her philosophy of letting Familiars go to kill people, and she supplanted Homura (who I thought planted that Hospital Grief Seed and caused Mami’s death) on my List. Urobuchi then worked his magic and made me sympathetic for a character who had so much working against her, with a backstory more tragic than Mami’s, the discovery of the true nature of Magical Girls, and her growing attraction to Sayaka even as the Ally of Justice was crumbling, all culminating in me screaming at my computer as she kisses her Soul Gem and sacrifices herself to defeat Sayaka’s Witch and save Homura and Madoka.

Kyoko, I would like to apologize. I can understand where you started from, seeing your family die in connection to your well-meaning Wish, and how you would focus on yourself after being hurt so badly. I am so proud of you, for rising from that and regaining your morals, to the point of helping out Madoka.

Homura Akemi

Homura. Homura, Homura, Homura.

I started this show convinced that you were the Big Bad, or at least an agent of them. Then, before I learned the true nature of the Incubator and thought that there was an anti-Kyubey running around causing the Witches (I can only imagine how much you lot enjoyed that, thank you so much for not spoiling me), I considered that maybe she was just trying to secure her own power, remove competition so that she is secure. Then there was the huge “Homura summons Wally-Witch to get a Super Grief Seed, cannot put down what she called up” theory that I thought would culminate as the series finale, give our main characters time to shine and teach Homura the power of Friendship.

Then the true nature of Magical Girls was revealed, and she was not surprised. Then she attempted to kill Sayaka, citing that doing so would spare Madoka pain. Then she killed the Incubator (but not really).

Then we learned that she is a time traveler.

Just… just wow. It actually makes sense. All of my crazy theories, and time travel trumps them all. She knows the truth about Magical Girls because she learned it in the previous timeline. She knows Bunnycat is a dick because it pulled all this shit before. She tried to warn the girls away from Contracting because she knew the costs, and that they would turn into Witches. She knows that Wally-Witch is coming, to the day, because that’s what happened before-

Oh! I get it now! I really get it! That Dream Vision, Homura fighting the Super Witch but losing, reaching out to Madoka… I get what happens now. Madoka arrives to see Homura is losing. She knows that with all the other MGs dead, there’s no choice. She makes the Contract with the Incubator.

And for her Wish? She Wishes for Homura to get another chance, or something along those lines. And the Incubator (who is a dick) ‘interprets’ that in the way that best suits its interests, and throws Homura into another timeline, so that they can harvest Madoka twice.

Damn it. If I understood the credits-teaser right, next episode is going to be Homura’s story. If we see this happen, Homura reaching our timeline only to try and warn people, but no-one believes her… this is going to be rough.

[armageddon-generation]

Starting the DCEU right: fixing BvS and its lead-up

BvS is really frustrating, so I rewrote it, re-ordered the existing movies and inserted in a Batman movie

1. Wonder Woman

Start the DCEU off with  a ‘bold’ statement with the first female led superhero movie, and the first chronologically.

2. Man of Steel

Bright colours, bloody hell

Cut the heavy-handed Jesus/Messiah symbolism. Superman was created by Jews anyway, Christiansing him feels disrespectful

Put it in chronological order starting in Smallville, so we’re invested in Clark’s struggle

Pa Kent doesn’t die in a tornado, that scene is ridiculous

Move the Krypton sequence in the beginning to when Jor El is explaining Clark’s origin to him in the Arctic ship, so we maintain the mystery and don’t repeat ourselves

Focus on Clark trying to live a normal life – his relationship with Lois, becoming a reporter, while he fights regular crime in secret (the Smallville blur trope)

Zodd attacking disrupts that peace and forces Superman to go public for the first time

Thematically, classic ‘regular guy doing the right thing’ Richard Donner Superman is fighting off the ‘detached alien Messiah figure’ Zack Snyder Superman Zodd wants him to become

Metropolis’ destruction and Clark being forced to kill Zodd still happens, but show Clark trying to avoid populated areas and save bystanders instead of fight, Zodd just won’t let him.

3. Batman: Under the Red Hood

Under the Red Hood (UtRH) with a depressed robin-less Batman

Follow basic outline of UtRH animated movie (75 mins) in a 2-hour movie, incorporating elements of The Killing Joke

UtRH is a mystery that lets us focus on Batman’s detective side

Talia resurrected Jason as an apology to Bruce – allude to Damian’s existence when we visit the League of Assassins and establish their past romance

UtRH is the perfect story to introduce the batfamily - Bruce still isn’t talking to Dick after kicking him out to become Nightwing, the Red Hood pushes them to work together, but uncovering Jason’s identity fractures their relationship further (fight?)

Killing Joke happened recently and Barbra is still recovering. Show the events leading up to and after it in PTSD flashbacks, but framed through Barbra’s empowering story of recovery, not the traumatic incident itself. Maybe introduce Leslie Thompkins as her therapist.

Bruce is also estranged from Commissioner Gordon as a result of Killing Joke. When Jason finds out the Joker paralysed Barbra after he died and Bruce still let him live, he’s even angrier

This story is the perfect set-up for the DCEU’s (recast) Joker; he’s a secondary villain to Jason, but by mixing both UtRH and Killing Joke, his two most famous/heinous crimes, he immediately becomes a terrifying bogeyman with an established relationship with Batman

Stealth set-up for Birds of Prey (Oracle), Nightwing, and Red Hood and the Outlaws movies

By the end of the movie both Jason  and Joker escape and Bruce is left isolated and questioning his no-kill code after Jason’s arguments, Joker escaping yet again, and all his recent trauma, setting up his emotional state for BvS

The only ones to stay by his side are Alfred and Lucius Fox

4. Batman vs Superman

Clark is our protagonist, Bruce the sympathetic villain who’s redeemed by the end

After killing Zodd in MoS, Clark is determined not to kill – CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT through an opening action sequence

He and Lois are newlyweds 

Clark wants to be trusted, and that means conforming to government control (like in The Dark Knight Returns, except this time it’s sympathetic) – his moral dilemma is whether them controlling Superman is a good thing

Clark hates Batman because Bruce is becoming more and more recklessly violent (The Dark Knight Returns) since UtRH and The Killing Joke and his support structure collapsing. Clark reports on how the Bat-Brand is causing criminal deaths (which is now a big No-No for Supes, without him being  a hypocrite) - cut the unimportant conflict with Perry White

During the Metropolis attack Bruce loses someone. I don’t like killing a black character, but it makes the most sense that Lucius Fox would be in the Wayne Tech building and die. The audience has a history with the character – not only was he in UtRH, but also the Dark Knight Trilogy.

Alfred loses a leg, as in the Earth One graphic novels – that gruffer version of the character is similar to Jeremy Irons’ portrayal anyway

Bruce now has legitimate reasons to fear Clark, and he has no support network left.

Wayne Industries is funding the rebuilding of Metropolis, in collaboration with Lexcorp (like in the No Man’s Land comic event). Lex (recast) is presented as an ally to Bruce, sympathising with and stoking the flames of his Superman hatred

Insert the Diana subplot in here – BUT DON’T SPOIL HER BEING IN THE MOVIE IN THE TRAILERS. Bruce catches her snooping around at one of Lex’s fundraisers for rebuilding Metropolis. 

Lex doesn’t just have her photo – in the hundred years since Wonder Woman, Diana has become a protector of mythological beings (Nick Fury for the Gods). Instead of the email attachment of Justice League teaser trailers, Lex has stolen information from Diana that reveals the locations of Themascyra and Atlantis, the sister cities.

Bruce and Diana can have a philosophical discussion about new gods outmoding old gods without it being out of place – Diana is unsure of her place in this changing world

Lex is also planning to run for President – he encourages Bruce’s anti-authoritarian sentiment. The GCPD have started a manhunt for the more brutal Batman. Legitimise this sentiment further by having Clark’s main contact to the Government be morally corrupt Amanda Waller (replacing Holly Hunter’s Senator) who wants to use Clark in black-ops missions.

We see one of these missions. Amanda wants Clark to kill, which he refuses to do, only for her to kill the targets anyway. (a version of the drone strike scene that opened the original BvS)

This causes huge moral conflict for Clark – show he and Lois debating and supporting each other at home – Lois doesn’t trust Waller and starts investigating her.

Bring in the Sons of Batman subplot from The Dark Knight Returns – Batman’s brutal new tactics inspire a gang of, deadly copycat vigilantes. Possibly you could turn them into the We Are Robin gang from Scott Snyder’s comic run

We learn about the gang from the POV of one kid – Tim Drake (or Duke Thomas, but we’d have to give him Tim’s origin – figuring out Batman’s identity as a child detective)

Tim experiences the terror and violence Batman’s new brutality is inspiring on the streets of Gotham – he goes to Wayne Manor, only to find it abandoned. Alfred lets him into the Batcave to shake some sense into Bruce, and Tim gives his pitch about Batman always needing a Robin to balance him. Bruce kicks him out.

A scene where Lex inducts the wheelchair-bound Metropolis victim into his scheme.

The conflict and tension is driven up by Superman breaking up a Sons of Batman rally, then confronting Batman while he’s torturing some criminals.

Bruce is working on his power armour, exhausted. Here we see a version of the Knightmare sequence:

Future!Barry runs in, grabs Bruce and zips into the post-apocalypse to show him the future. This is the only time we see Batman kill in the movie – driven over the edge. He is fighting Evil Superman, bearded in the black suit, looking a lot like Zodd. Darkseid looms as a dark, unidentified figure in the distance. Barry runs Bruce back, yelling to find him in the present and watch out for Luthor, but Darkseid’s Omega beams hit and kill him just as Bruce is thrown back into the Cave.

He passes out, then wakes up later, convinced he’d had a dream about Superman destroying the world.

Lex lets Batman steal the kryptonite – he’s getting desperate

Finally, with the Batman crisis worsening, Waller orders Clark to take Bruce down.  Bruce is waiting with his power armour.

The fight should be a pastiche of fights from the comics – sonic weapons and kryptonite gas, but also Red Sun lasers and that moment in Hush where Bruce electrocutes Clark with the mains supply of a whole city.

Meanwhile, Lois’ investigation into Waller has uncovered that the government agents ordering Clark around answer to Lex Luthor. She realises Lex has been manipulating Superman and Batman into fighting in the hopes of killing both (supplying the kryptonite etc). Mercy Graves shows up to kill her but Lois escapes.

Meanwhile, Tim breaks back into the Batcave and steals a Robin suit.

Both Tim and Lois arrive at the scene of the fight and stop Bruce delivering the final blow. Instead of MARTHA!, Tim and Lois talk their respective heroes down, Lois explains Lex’s role. Bruce remembers Barry’s warning – was that dream real?

Lex realises what’s going on and releases his Big Bad, Metallo (replacing shit Doomsday), a kryptonite-powered cyborg mech created from the wheelchair-bound Metropolis victim and  Kryptonian-killing weapons technology from Zodd’s ship. This way the fight ties in with the consequences of Clark destroying Metroplolis.

Diana, having been in the Lexcorp facility to steal her information back, arrives to fight with Clark and Bruce. She’s decided she’s still a hero.

The power is out in Gotham after Bruce used the mains to fight Clark, and the city is in chaos.

Bruce enlists Tim to evacuate the city and stop rioting while Clark and Diana fight Metallo – adapting the Dark Knight Returns sequence where Bruce rides through Gotham on horseback, enlisting the Sons of Batman to do some good.

This is the culmination of Bruce’s arc; accepting Superman is needed while stopping a repeat of Metropolis’ destruction by damage-controlling his fight. He’s also taking responsibility for his impact on Gotham through the gang.

Lex remotely sets Metallo to self-destruct when he starts losing the fight. Clark tries to save his enemy (DEVELOPMENT from MoS) but dies in the explosion due to the fatal dose of radiation poisoning. This death sets up the next 'phase’ of movies

We’ve set up several threads for future movies – we are aware of Atlantis thanks to Diana’s information, without having Aquaman thrown in our faces.

Lex gets away – Bruce breaks into his office and confronts him, but Lex is untouchable and still running for President

Bruce is now privately investigating what he saw in the Knightmare, including finding Barry Allen

Tim starts training to be the next Robin – Bruce is learning from his mistakes with Jason.

Amanda Waller sets up Suicide Squad

Lois is revealed to be pregnant with Clark’s child at the end, paralleling Clark’s natural birth in Man of Steel