#he’s definitely crying himself to sleep about this album being pushed back again n again

[sunmisbf]

this is making me cry

[watchmegetobsessed]

THE DEAL

a/n: i literally wrote it in less than a day because i was inspired by a movie... of god, i have issues, but ANYWAYS! this one is a classic friends with benefits to lovers story with so much angst and a grandiose love confession at the end so buckle up, you are in for a treat!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEEASE give feedback if you enjoyed it!!

pairing: Harry X Reader

warnings: some, drinking, sexual content, a hell lot of it, angst and messy emotions, it’s a lot!!

word count: 11.8k

masterlist

If your life was some romantic comedy his would be the moment where the camera would zoom on you, your eyes blankly glued to the ceiling, makeup from last night smudged under them as a muscular, inked arm gets thrown across your chest, a snoozing man beside you as you have the internal little monologue.

“You’re wondering how I got into this situation, right? Completely naked with one of my best friends after a night spent with heavy drinking and ending up fucking in his apartment until we both fell asleep.”

Yeah, this is probably what the voiceover would say as the camera would slowly get farther from you, Harry’s sleeping figure coming into the frame while you’re still lying like a damn statue. This was not supposed to happen. Not that it was bad, because oh God! Harry really is as good as his ex-girlfriends gushed to you when you met them on night outs. You could never blame the women for falling for him, he has the charm, the personality, the humor and definitely the looks. If you weren’t you, you’d be one of those girls who would do anything to get his attention just for a split second. But you’re not.

Growing up with a single mother that was repeatedly fucked over by several men, you were taught to be the kind of independent woman who needs no man. Who only uses them for whatever reason and throws them away before they could even realize what’s happening. Feelings could never be involved in the equations, those are just not for you.

For a while you thought you weren’t even capable of feeling anything at all. But the way you cried when your hamster you got for your sixteenth birthday died changed your mind and you realized that you are just saving yourself the time of allowing people to make you develop feelings for them and then give them the chance to break your heart. You’ve seen that happen to your mother enough times to know that you don’t want to go through that. It’s not worth it and why would you risk it all when you could easily get what you need and move on to the next one?

Your friends always joked how you’re gonna be the single aunt to their children later who would take them to clubs and honestly? You’re just fine with that. Because you always thought that while your married friends will be busy with keeping their marriage together with whatever pathetic man they chose to marry, you’ll be living your best life without a worry on the world. That sounds pretty good for you.

There’s no need to make it prettier than what it is, you’ve had a lot of hookups the past years but you always tried to keep yourself in check, have some kind of rules to follow so you don’t hurt yourself or anyone else in the process. One of those were that under no circumstances would you ever sleep with a friend. No matter how badly you want to, no matter if they are begging, it can never happen.

But you broke that rule.

Turning your head to the side you look at Harry’s sleeping face squished into the pillow and you almost wince, because you know that when he wakes up, this gonna hurt like a bitch. He’s gonna freak out, or what’s worse, he’ll want to take it further, take you out on a date… be in a relationship with you! And you’ll have to break his heart because none of those will ever happen.

You and Harry went to high school together and he is one of the very few people you stayed in touch after graduation. Though you grew a little apart when you went to different universities, later on you both somehow ended up in New York and while you’re working as a graphic designer at a magazine, Harry is making good money from writing music for other artists. He’s been one of your closest friends these past years and while you’ve always found him attractive, you should have never let this happen, because it will mess everything up and you didn’t want to lose such a good friend.

Harry stirs in his sleep next to you, his hand squeezing your side before his eyes blink open, green irises finding your wide eyes. He stops for a moment, looking around, taking in his surroundings before his eyes fall closed again.

“Wow, must have been one wild night?” he mumbles into the pillow before a raspy chuckle falls from his lips.

Last night, the two of you and a couple of your mutual friends celebrated that Harry has gotten his biggest deal so far, having to write an entire album for an up-and-coming artist, so you all got pretty wasted, especially you and him. It’s a little blurry how the two of you ended up like this, but you do remember wildly making out hidden somewhere behind the bar before he asked if you wanted to come to his place. You stupid little thing, should have said no…

Groaning, Harry rolls to his back, his arm falling from you as he lies sprawled out next to you.

“The tequila shots. Shouldn’t have had them,” you rasp out, a smirk tugging on his lips at your words. “So, um… we both can agree this was a one time thing, right?”

Harry peeks at you, pushing himself up a bit so his head rests against the headboard. The sheets slide down a bit lower on his body, revealing his toned chest and his several tattoos. Memories of you kissing them eagerly last night flash into your mind and you can only hope you’re not blushing like a school girl.

“What if I don’t agree?” Harry cocks an eyebrow and you almost groan. You knew this was going to happen!

“Harry, I’m not going out with you. You know me, I don’t do that. It’s nice that you think that it could work between us, but I don’t do relationships and I’m not changing my rules, not even for you.”

Harry starts laughing, as if you just said the best joke of the century, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. You give him a puzzled look as you sit up, holding the sheets to your chest.

“Who talked about dating, Y/N?” he then asks. “You said last night was a one time thing. We fucked last night. What if that wasn’t the only time we did that?”

You start to put the pieces together, though you’d definitely be sharper if you already had your first coffee of the day.

“Are you trying to start a… friends with benefits thing with me?”

“I mean, you could call it whatever you want. I personally really enjoyed last night and judging from the way you were screaming my name, you did too.” Now you’re for sure blushing. “Why not do it again?”

“This is not a movie, H. I don’t think it’s manageable without ruining our friendship.”

“Have you ever tried something like this?” You shake your head no. “Then how could you know?”

“Have you tried it?”

“Never,” he chuckles. “But that doesn’t mean I’m wrong. We are both cool, smart people. I think we can give it a try and whenever someone is feeling like they had enough, we’re just gonna stop.”

“What if you catch feelings?” you ask, raising eyebrows at him.

“Oh, but what if you fall for me?” he throws the question back with a cocky smirk and you smack his naked chest.

“You know I never do that!”

“I don’t think you can just decide that, but alright,” he chuckles, holding his hands up in defense. “I promise you I won’t catch feelings for you, Y/N. I swear on my…”

“Your mom’s and sister’s life!” you point at him. It’s clear that he thinks it’s silly, but you just keep staring at him until he gives in.

“I swear on my mum’s and my sister’s life that I will not catch feelings for you, Y/N.”

“Alright. And we can end it anytime?”

“Whenever you’ve had enough of me,” he smirks back, so pleased with himself that it’s clear he doesn’t think that could ever happen.

“If you keep that cocky look on your face it’s gonna be a very short deal, Styles,” you warn him, but he just laughs before he quickly pulls you back down to bed, getting on top of you, his hips sinking between your legs and you gasp when you feel that he is already semi-hard.

“Why don’t we get a head start on it then?” he offers, his lips crashing against yours before they travel down your body and soon enough he gives you something that’s a thousand times better than a coffee in the morning.

At first you’re clearly hesitant about it. Not sure if it was a good idea or you just ruined everything between you and Harry, but soon enough you realize that it wasn’t as bad of a decision as you thought it to be.

Harry is the one to call you for the first time, two days after the night you drunkenly hooked up. You’re just leaving the office when he hits you up, asking if you have plans for the night or you’re free to go over to his place. An hour later you find yourself pressed up against the wall of his apartment’s hallway, both of you eager to get each other out of your clothes. Now that it all happens without either of you being drunk, you actually have the chance to think about how good it is with him. He is just the perfect mixture of dominant and soft, knows when to be the boss and when he has to slow down a bit.

He makes you cum three times. Three mind-blowing times, and you also give him two orgasms. You try to make it equal and make it three, but he respectfully says no.

“If you touched my dick again I think I would start crying,” he chuckles jokingly, so you don’t even think about pushing it.

Instead, the two of you order Chinese, have dinner together, talking like you always used to before the deal and then you go home. There’s no awkwardness, no weird situations, not even when you leave. Harry leans closer and for a moment you think he is gonna be corny and kiss you goodbye, but then you feel him smack your ass before pushing you out the door, just like he always did before, joking about how he is gonna charge you rent if you stay any longer.

Nothing has changed, only that you now spend a good chunk of your time together naked, moaning each other’s name before you get back to your usual.

So after that you don’t shy away from reaching out to Harry as well. It becomes a regular thing, the two of you meeting up about two of three times a week. You fuck, hang out a bit and go your separate ways. Slowly, you start to forget about times when you stayed dressed up for more than ten minutes after meeting Harry.

You keep switching between your and his place, but sometimes meet somewhere in the middle. You’ve had sex in a restaurant bathroom, in his car in a parking garage and even in his cousin’s place in Brooklyn. That was a bit odd but still quite pleasing.

Tonight is going to be the first time you’re gonna be out with all your friends and Harry since the deal was made. No one knows about it and you intend to keep it that way.

Once you’re done at work you head home, texting Leticia, another friend from high school to meet you at your place to get ready together. She was Harry’s friend at first, what’s better, she openly hated you at first for some reason.

“You just had a punchable face at fifteen, you can’t blame me,” she used to tell you. It was actually Harry who made the two of you friends and you’ve been close ever since.

You get to your apartment almost at the same time. Leticia starts rambling about her asshole of a boss at the law firm where she works at as you open a bottle of wine to start the evening while you roam through your wardrobe for an outfit.

“Is Leo coming? I owe him a few bucks from last time,” Leticia wonders, digging into your dresser for a pair of tights she can borrow to pair with her leather skirt.

“I think he is, but he is going to be late. He is coming from Staten Island from his dad’s,” you muse, checking yourself out in the red dress you just tried on, not quite pleased with the look, so you quickly work down the zipper and look for something else.

“Um, whose is this?”

Turning around you see that Leticia is holding up a shirt Harry left at yours a few days ago. She is clearly confused about the men’s clothing between your stuff, because you are not one to steal them from the men you sleep with since you don’t really want anything from them to remind you of them.

“Oh, um, that’s… That’s Harry’s. He left it here a few days ago,” you shrug, not making a big deal out of it, but Leticia is nosier than that.

“And why is Harry leaving his clothes around your place?”

“Is that a crime?” you snort, trying to play it cool.

“No, but in what kind of situation did this shirt come off of Harry and end up in your dresser?”

You can’t think of a good answer that would stop her from interrogating you, and the way you’ve just gotten silent is telling her more than words could. She drops the shirt, eyes widening at you and it’s clear that she put two and two together.

“Oh my God! You’re sleeping with Harry!”

“No! I’m… I just—We…”

“You two are totally fucking! What the fuck!” she gasps in complete shock as you pinch the bridge of your nose.

“Let me explain it, alright? W-We hooked up on the night when we went out to celebrate his big album deal.”

“When I couldn’t go, right?”

“Yeah. So we were both very drunk and it just happened. And I really thought it would ruin everything but we somehow ended up making a deal.”

“Jesus, you guys are acting out the Friends With Benefits movie? Who are you, Mila fucking Kunis?”

“It’s not like that!” you defend yourself quickly, but then you realize that it’s just like that so far. “Well, it kind of is, but the ending won’t be like that.”

“Do you really think you can just do it with absolutely no strings?” Leticia sighs, her hands coming to her hips as she stares back at you.

“It’s been going great, so I really think it’s doable. And if any of us decides they had enough, we’ll just call it quits.”

“Yeah, because it’s that easy,” she rolls her eyes. “One of you will catch feelings and someone is gonna end up crying, Y/N.”

“No, that’s not gonna happen,” you shake your head stubbornly. “He promised it won’t happen.”

“Feelings don’t give a shit about promises! I hope you really know what you’re doing, because I don’t want to have to choose between the two of you,” she grumbles before throwing Harry’s shirt back into the drawer, grabbing the tights she’s been looking for.

Leticia doesn’t hold a grudge for the news she just found out, but she surely has gotten you thinking. Is it really gonna end bad? Why can’t there be a scenario where it goes perfectly fine and no one gets hurt? Harry promised it’s gonna be alright and he has been proven right so far, so why are you having second guesses now?

Arriving at the bar the majority of your friend group is already there, including Harry. You sit across him in the small booth, just exchanging a quick smile before the first round arrives and the evening starts. You allow yourself to take a better look at him while he listens to Mitch’s story and you can’t say that you don’t find him hot. He is wearing a vintage, floral printed shirt, the first few buttons left undone, so you have a nice view of his chest and his necklace you’ve felt under your lips so many times before when you were kissing down his body. He keeps twisting and playing with his several rings and it makes you stare at his hands for a tad bit longer than you intended to. God, he looks so damn good, you really just want to fuck him here and now.

You keep changing who goes up to the bar to order and the third round is yours, so sliding out of the booth you go to the bar and wait for your turn. A young, handsome guy is making the drinks and you clearly catch his eyes.

“And what can I get for you, beautiful?” he smirks at you when it’s finally your turn.

“Two vodka sodas, a martini and three vodka cranberries,” you smile back at him with a hint of flirting in your tone.

It’s kind of second nature to you, a few charming smiles and winks have gotten a lot of free things for you in your life and you never miss a chance to use your advances.

“All that for one pretty girl?” he teases you.

“I would be all over the floor if I drank all of it,” you chuckle, pulling your card out of your wallet, tapping it on the terminal as he finishes up the drinks, kindly putting them on a tray so you can easily bring them over to the booth.

“Don’t worry, I would surely pick you up then,” he winks at you, placing the last drink to the tray before you thank him and head back.

As you take your previous seat you notice that Harry is watching you intently.

“What?” you mouth him over the conversation at the table.

“Nothing,” he shakes his head, turning his gaze away, grabbing his drink and focusing back on everyone else.

You go up to the bar two more times, once to ask for some chips and once for some napkins after a drink has gotten spilt onto the table. Every time you exchange a few words with the bartender and you have to admit, he has a great sense of humor paired with his looks.

Sometime later in the evening you decide to switch to water, so you go up to the bar a fourth time, the bartender coming to you right away at this point. As you wait for him to grab you your drink you feel a hand on your lower back. Turning to the side you see Harry standing next to you.

“Hey, want to come to my place after this?” he asks, leaning closer to your ear. His hot breath hits your exposed skin on your neck and a shudder runs down your spine, especially with his hand still on the small of your back.

“You want a rerun of your first time?” you smirk back at him, referring to the drinks you both have had, though it’s definitely not as wild as that night was.

“No, but this dress is making it hard not to want to rip it off,” he bluntly tells you as you glance down at yourself. At last you decided to wear a black bodycon dress that surely shows every dip and curve of your body and apparently Harry has been enjoying the show.

The bartender arrives with your water, his eyes falling on Harry and you see that he is a little taken aback by his presence.

“Hey man, can you get me another one as well? I’ll pay for both,” Harry nods at him and there’s something foreign in his tone that you can’t really put your finger on. The bartender just nods back and goes to grab another water.

“What if I wasn’t in the mood?” you tease him, continuing the discussion where you left it a moment ago.

“Oh, please!” he chuckles smugly. “I saw you eyeing me from across the table, Y/N. I know you are definitely in the mood.”

He is right. So damn right. You’ve been crossing your legs under the table for a while now, feeling your arousal growing every time you saw him run his tongue over his lips or whenever his finger played with the lip of his glass, imagining him doing the same with your body.

Biting into your bottom lip you need to take a deep breath, but when Harry sees your teeth digging into your lip, he loses his patience.

“Or we can just do it now,” he growls lowly, grabbing your hand before he starts pulling you towards the restrooms. You don’t even have the chance to protest, not that you want to.

He is quick to pull you into an empty restroom, locking the door behind the two of you before his lips attack yours, pushing you against the door with vigor and hunger. His hands are already bunching your dress up around your waist and you moan his name when your hips meet and you feel his hard length through his jeans.

“We have to be quick, so no one notices we disappeared,” he pants as he helps you up to the counter, your back hitting the cold mirror behind you.

“Then shut up and just fuck me,” you challenge him and it makes him absolutely feral.

You don’t have time to enjoy it the way you usually do in bed, but the excitement of the situation alone has gotten you so wet that you’re already dripping when he pushes your panties to the side with one hand while his other works on his own pants.

“Fuck, already so wet for me, huh?” he breathes out, his lips brushing against yours before they kiss you fully.

“Just like how you’re rock hard for me,” you grin against his lips, a hand wandering down to his cock as you pull it out of his boxers, stroking it a few times before he pulls a condom out of his back pocket and wraps himself up. “Were you counting on this quickie, Styles?” you ask when you realize that he just had a condom ready on him.

“I knew for sure I’m gonna fuck you tonight, but wasn’t sure how long I’m gonna last,” he grins, capturing your lips again before he pushes himself inside you with no warning, making you both gasp.

“Fuck! Harry!” you moan as he starts moving rapidly, definitely not taking his time like he usually does. He is pounding into you without mercy, panting against your lips as his ring clad fingers are digging into the flesh of your thighs.

“You like that? Like it when I fuck you somewhere public?” he growls, making your legs curl around his hips.

Your hands move up his chest and neck, fingers tangling into his curls and you give them a tug, earning an animalistic grunt from him as he starts going even harder and faster. You’re rapidly getting closer to your orgasm.

“You close?” he pants and you nod. “Come on, cum all over my cock, Y/N.”

A few more thrusts and your walls tighten around his dick, squeezing him as you gasp, riding your high, your head falling backwards, meeting with the mirror behind you. Harry follows you a few pushes later, moaning your name repeatedly before his movements come to a halt and you both take a moment to catch your breath.

When he pulls out you both just quietly clean yourselves up, fixing your clothes and hair so you don’t entirely scream sex with your appearances.

“My offer to come to mine after still stands,” he smirks, running a hand through his hair before you head out.

“Tempting, but I have some work to do in the morning, so no,” you turn him down, stepping out to the dark hallway that leads back to the bar. Harry grabs your hand and pulls you back, his lips smashing against yours, surprising you with his move. He kisses you deeply, sucking on your bottom lip hard before he pulls back.

“What was that for?” you ask out of breath.

“If you’re not coming over, I needed something to have a good night,” he shrugs with a smug smirk before you return to the bar.

You catch the bartender’s look as you finally get your waters and Harry pays for them. You catch the two men eyeing each other for a moment before you and Harry return to the table and you forget about the whole thing.

A Sunday afternoon you’re lounging at Harry’s. You jumped at each other’s bones when you arrived, but now you’re chilling on his couch, watching a series you both wanted to start so you decided to give it a go together. Your leg is lying across Harry’s lap, his hands absentmindedly kneading your thighs. It feels nice, like a massage, especially after how sore he made you earlier, stretching you out more than he usually does with a new pose you tried out.

Your phone chimes next to you and tearing your gaze away from the TV you check to see who just sent you a text. It was one of your coworkers, Anthony, he sent you a raging text about how he still has no idea what to wear to the company party that’s gonna be next Saturday and you realize that you totally forgot about it.

“Shit!” you curse under your breath.

“What?” Harry asks, pausing the show.

“I have this stupid work party next weekend and I totally forgot about it,” you growl, checking your calendar quickly if you can squeeze in a quick shopping spree before Saturday or you’ll have to find something in your closet.

“Aren’t those things nice with a lot of free food and drinks?” Harry wonders.

“Yeah, but I don’t like it, because all my colleagues bring their partners and I’m usually the only single one and they keep trying to set me up with someone,” you roll your eyes even at the thought of having to suffer through another one of those awkward conversations about your love life. Like it’s any of their concern!

“I can go with you if that helps,” he offers and you give him a look over your phone. “What? I’m sure if you brought someone they wouldn’t bug you.”

“But we are not together,” you remind him narrowing your eyes at him.

“They don’t have to know that. It’s a win-win, Y/N. Your colleagues would stop nagging you and I can eat and drink for free,” he smirks, clearly pleased with his little plan.

“I mean… you’re not wrong,” you sigh.

“See? Then it’s settled,” he pats your legs, smirking widely at you, but you’re still not entirely convinced. “Come on, Y/N. It’s gonna be fun!”

“This is so cliché, Harry!” you groan, your head falling back against the arm of the couch. “Pretending to be a couple? Straight out of a damn movie.”

Harry lifts your legs up so he can get out from under them, placing them back to the cushion before he climbs over to you, half of his body pressing onto yours as he squints his eyes at you.

“We can fuck in the bathroom, if you want,” he bluntly offers and you just start laughing at his dirty mind and technique of convincing you. “What? There’s literally no better offer out there. Free food, free drinks and free sex. Really good sex, if I may add,” he points out and you smack his chest lightly.

“Didn’t know you were thinking about charging me for the sex,” you joke.

“Might as well do, baby. Especially if it’s the best you can get,” he smugly huffs and you’d retort something funny, but you get caught up on the name.

“Baby? Since when are you calling me baby?”

“Since we are gonna be a couple next week. Gotta rehearse, baby,” he repeats the nickname and a foreign feeling bubbles in the pit of your stomach. Why is this one little word making you feel things you haven’t before? “And you know what else we can rehearse?” he continues, oblivious to your inner dialogue.

You don’t get to answer upon feeling his hand slide between your legs, fingers gently pressing onto your clothed clit and though you can’t stop a moan from slipping through your lips, you still grab his wrist and pull him away.

“My legs are too sore, I wouldn’t enjoy another round of you pounding into me,” you tell him and you can see the proud glimmer in his eyes that he was the one who got you into this state, though he luckily doesn’t comment on it.

“It doesn’t have to be pounding, then,” he smirks and leaning down he kisses you, taking his time as his hand frees itself from your grip and slides under your shorts and panties, fingers meeting your already throbbing bud.

He repositions himself so one of his thighs are between your legs, his lips never leaving yours as his fingers start drawing circles on your clit, sending pleasure down your body in waves.

“Fuck,” you breathe out against his lips when two of his fingers tease your entrance before pushing all the way inside, curling them between your clenching, wet walls.

“No, we are not fucking right now,” he smirks, never missing a chance to joke around and you want to retort to his comment, but words get caught in your throat when his thumb starts playing with your clit, fingers sliding in and out of you in a steady rhythm.

“So, are we on for Saturday? It’s gonna be fun, hm?”

The little shit is using his fingers to convince you and he has the audacity to ask you questions when you are about to see stars. Sometimes you really do hate how big of a smug fucker Harry is, but it’s hard to feel hatred for him when he is about to make you cum again.

“I-I don’t… Harry!” you gasp when he abruptly pulls his fingers out of you, right when you were so close. “I was about to fucking cum!” you growl, raging eyes meeting his green irises.

“I know,” he chuckles. “Say that you’re in and I’ll make you cum.”

“You motherfu—“

You don’t get to finish, his lips smashing against yours as his fingers return, moving faster than before, quickly pushing you towards the edge again.

“Say it. Say it, Y/N,” he mumbles against your lips as your chest is heaving and you start buckling your hips to meet his movements.

“Fuck… Okay! I’m in, just please make me cum!” you whine, hands gripping his shoulders like your life depends on it.

“Good girl,” he smirks and finishes you off without any more teasing.

You cry out his name, fingers digging into his muscles as you push your thighs together, trapping his hand between them while he keeps fingering you oh so perfectly. He makes sure you ride out the last waves of your orgasm before he pulls his fingers out and without batting an eye, he just licks them and fixes your panties and shorts before returning to his previous position with your legs across his lap, starting the show like nothing really happened.

Saturday morning you’re able to quickly get your nails done and Leticia comes with you, the two of you having brunch together afterwards. You go to a new place near the nail salon and as the waiter arrives with your orders, you notice that he slides a napkin onto the table with a small smile.

Grabbing it you see a phone number scribbled onto it. Normally, you send back a smile and tug the napkin into your purse, but this time you just leave it on the table and decide to ignore it.

“What the hell is up with you?” Leticia asks and glancing up at her you see her gesturing towards the napkin. “You don’t seem too thrilled about the approach which is very unlike you.”

“Yeah, I don’t know. I’m just… not interested,” you shrug, reaching for your fork.

“Not interested? The dude looks like the lovechild of Chris Hemsworth and Johnny Depp. He is exactly your type, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

“I’m just not seeking another hookup right now, that’s it.”

“Oh my God!” Leticia gasps and you give her a puzzled look.

“What?”

“You don’t want other men because of Harry!”

“What? That’s crazy,” you laugh, because she has clearly left her mind at the salon for even thinking that.

“Have you hooked up with anyone else than Harry since you’ve made your little deal?”

“I, uhh… Flirted with the bartender when we were out together.”

“Flirting doesn’t count, not even in relationships.”

“I don’t think many would agree with that, Tish,” you huff.

“Okay, but did you have any interest in fucking someone else?”

“I don’t get it why you are making a big deal out of it. Why would I seek anyone else if I’m perfectly pleased by him?”

“Honey, that’s like… how relationships work.”

“That’s not true,” you shake your head, though what would you know about relationships? Your first and only one was when you were seventeen and it lasted twenty-one pathetic days.

“Are you fucking with anyone else?” She asks, eyebrows raised at you as you shake your head no. “Are you fucking him?”

“Obviously,” you scoff.

“Do you spend time together that doesn’t include sex?”

You are almost quick to say no, but then you realize that would be a big ass lie. Every time he comes over to your place or you’re at his, it’s never just the sex. That’s always primary, but not everything you do. All the dinners, the movies and shows you’ve watched together, when you sit on your tiny balcony with a bottle of wine, talking and laughing like you always did before the deal, something always happens after the sex.

Your silence once again answers Leticia’s question. Reaching over the table she takes your hand in hers, giving it a soft squeeze.

“Girl, you are totally dating Harry.”

Leticia once again manages to put a flea in your ear about this whole Harry thing. You wish she didn’t say a thing, because now you can’t think of anything else than the fact that you really are doing all the things with Harry that people who are dating do.

You get so riled up that you almost cancel on the evening, but you’d hate to have to sit through the evening with your colleagues alone when you said you’d be bringing someone. That would make their usual nagging a hundred times worse. So instead, you suck it up and decide to ignore the issue just for the time being and you get ready.

You were able to find a new dress beforehand, the yellow dress is truly a sight to the sore eyes with the corset-like top and very subtle lace details here and there. It’s a little daring, but everyone goes all out for these parties usually and you definitely don’t want to be underdressed.

Harry texts you that he is in front of the building a little before seven, holding up the taxi he came with so you quickly grab everything you need and head out.

You’re the first one to see him through the glass entrance doors of your building, he is standing next to the car in a simple black suit and a soft yellow shirt underneath. It was actually your idea to match your outfits and he surely understood the assignment, especially seeing his also yellow nails.

Part of you is still hung up on what Leticia told you, but a bigger one is so excited to see him and also very into his look for the evening, that you push your doubts to the back of your mind and step out of the building with a shy smile on your lips as his eyes fall on you and you see his lips part.

“Wow! This dress is… wow!” he breathes out, his eyes raking your frame up and down shamelessly as you walk closer.

“Do you know any other words than wow?” you tease him, biting into your bottom lip.

“Yeah. How about: I would love to bend you over this taxi and take you here and now in this dress?”

Your face heats up immediately, slapping his arm, but then you leave your hand on his bicep and give it a squeeze as your answer: you’d definitely love that if it wasn’t kind of illegal to have sex out on a busy street.

The ignorance in you is so high that you don’t even mind how Harry keeps a hand on your thigh in the car, what’s more, you’re quite liking the warmth of his touch on you. His fingers are gently tapping against the music the driver is playing and he even hums a little along the songs.

“Hey, how is the album writing going?” you ask to break the silence a little.

“Great! They asked for fifteen songs until the end of August, so I have plenty of time, but I’m already done with six,” he beams, and you smile back at him proudly.

“That’s amazing. Can I hear any of them sometime?”

“I mean… if you buy the album?” he chuckles, making you roll your eyes at him. “I’ll see what I can do about that,” he then adds, giving your leg another squeeze before turning towards the window.

The party is just the same as it always is. A luxurious evening to celebrate the company’s success in the past six months, a way to give back to the employees and make them feel appreciated with all the free stuff. It’s nice, but you don’t feel like it’s necessary, people would be happier with a raise after all, than one night of free food and drinks.

Harry holds your hand as you walk in, the majority of the guests already present, music playing and there are several open buffet tables and bars in the gigantic ballroom that was decorated in a forest-like theme just for tonight.

“So you did not lie about bringing a date!” Anthony beams as soon as he sees you, his boyfriend, Pete following him right behind, both of them wearing matching burgundy suits.

“Have I lied to you about anything?” you chuckle awkwardly.

“Plenty of times,” he points out before turning towards Harry. “Hello handsome, I’m Anthony, Y/N’s favorite coworker, and this is my boyfriend, Pete.” They all shake hands, Harry smiling back at them warmly before his hand finds yours again, his fingers lacing together with yours in an instant.

“Nice to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you, I’m Harry.”

“Oh my! The accent!” Anthony gushes, clearly already a fan of Harry’s. “I was really afraid Y/N just said that she is bringing someone so we would get out of her hair this time.”

“I feel offended,” you give him a look, but he just shrugs it off, even though he is more right than he knows.

“Come on, let’s get you guys a drink, we are all sitting over there!”

Joining all your coworkers at the table, you get a head start on the food and drinks, not shying away from stacking everything you like onto your plate. Talking, mixing and mingling, Harry stays right next to you, charming everyone the two of you meet, earning you some approving looks from your colleagues that usually try to set you up with someone they know. This time, you’re left in peace the moment they see Harry with you, his hand always somewhere on you, holding your hand, the small of your back, your hips or waist or, your personal favorite, the back of your neck under your hair. His presence is uplifting already, but his tiny touches just warm you even more on the inside.

“I have to say, Y/N, you are absolutely glowing!” Dianne, one of the editors compliment you when the two of you are at the bar waiting for your drinks to be refilled. Harry stayed back at the table, deep in conversation with Pete about guitars, from what you could understand from their conversation.

“Oh, thank you!” you chuckle softly.

“This man is for sure treating you well. It’s so great to see you finally finding your person.”

She meant well with her comment, but it’s what brings everything you kept hidden in the back of your head out to the front. Tonight was supposed to be all pretending, making everyone believe something that’s not even there, but then why do you feel like it’s real? Like you fooled yourself with everyone else as well?

Your eyes fall back to Harry at the table, who is intently listening to something Pete is telling him and as if he had a sixth sense, his eyes snap at you, a smile stretching across his pretty face at an instant that makes you stomach dance again, heart beating oddly fast.

What is happening to you? This cannot be real, you can’t be having feelings, especially not for Harry. No, you do not allow that for yourself, emotions are off limits for you, because if you fall for someone that gives them the chance to leave you and break you and you’ve seen what it does to a woman. You got enough of the suffering through your mother and you vowed not to let it happen to you. And not even Harry Styles will change that. This is about sex and nothing else, no feelings are involved and that will not change. You won’t let it.

Excusing yourself from Dianne you quickly go back to the table, the refills long forgotten as you take your seat next to Harry. His hand instantly finds your leg as he looks at you with a sweet smile at first that turns into slight confusion.

“Thought you went for a refill?”

“Forget the drinks,” you shake your head, leaning closer to his ear. “You promised me bathroom sex.”

You feel the shift in him right away, how he bites into his bottom lip, his bright green irises darkening at your words, his hold on your leg tightening. His gaze flickers to your eyes and you want to devour him, you want him to take you here and there to prove you that this is all it’s about: sex.

Clearing his throat he mumbles a lame excuse as he pulls you from your chair, tugging you towards the restrooms, you try to keep up with his pace in your heels, but you also can’t wait for him to slam you against the door and fuck you quick and hard.

As soon as you’re locked away from the party in one of the bathrooms, your lips collide with his as he pushes you up against the door, a leg coming between your thighs and you can’t stop yourself from grinding on him.

“Fuck,” he rasps out, hands cupping your jaw as he angles your head just right while your hands are already traveling down his body to reach his pants, eager to get them undone as fast as possible.

However the sudden rush and desperation catches Harry’s eyes and he grabs your hands, stopping you mid-action.

“Hey, everything alright?” he asks, out of breath, concern filling his eyes.

“I just need you to fuck me,” you bluntly reply, but he doesn’t move.

“Okay, but why do you look so shaken up? Did something happen?”

“Harry, stop babying me! I said I’m fine, I just want you to fuck me!” you snap, losing your patience. Not sure if it’s with him or with yourself though.

“You’re obviously not fine! You are snapping at me for being decent and making sure you’re okay!” Harry steps away from you, the moment completely ruined as all physical contact ends with him, his eyes staring back at you in disbelief and you feel like a ticking bomb that’s about to explode.

“It’s not your concern if I’m okay or not. We have a deal, just go with that and leave the rest to me!”

“But above the deal we are friends too. I’m not gonna just… fuck you senseless when you’re obviously upset about something. You’re not in the right mindset.”

“Oh my God, stop being so fucking nice! Stop making these grand gestures and stop pretending like you give a fuck!” You raise your voice and it surely surprises him, but he is still more concerned than angry at your outburst.

“What do you mean pretending? I do care about you! Is that a fucking crime now?!”

“It is because it is for the wrong reasons!” you retort, feeling your throat closing up at the same time. Oh God, you hope you won’t start crying, that will make it even worse. “I think you are taking this pretending a little too far tonight. We are not a couple, this is not real, Harry,” you remind him.

He stares back at you for what feels like eternity and you wish you could read his mind, because you can’t read anything from his eyes, he just stands there like a statue and you feel panic crawling up your spine, slowly digging its claws into your flesh.

And then he finally breaks his silence.

“And would it be so bad if it was real?”

You can’t help a sob that emits from you, feeling like your guts are in a tight grip by his words. This is exactly what you didn’t want to happen.

“No, take that back!” you whine.

“I’m not taking it back! Y/N, what we’ve been doing these past weeks is exactly what a relationship is like and you didn’t seem to have a problem with it until a label was put on it. It doesn’t have to change anything!”

“But it is! And you know I don’t do this!”

“Don’t do what? Feelings? You don’t get to choose that!” he chuckles bitterly.

“I do! I fucking do! And I chose not to have them so… this is ending here, because you clearly caught feelings,” you pant in desperate need of getting out of the bathroom, but when you are about to open the door Harry’s hand snaps against it, keeping it closed. You rest your forehead against the cool surface of it, feeling Harry stand so close to you behind, his chest is touching your back.

“Don’t just walk away, we are in the middle of a conversation,” he growls, his voice filled with anger and warning.

“I don’t have anything to say to you,” you whisper, shaking your head as you turn around and face him, your back pressing against the door.

“But I do,” he simply replies. “Why do you think you can just run away from feeling anything for the rest of your life? Why would it be so bad if you fell for someone, huh? I know you do have feelings, I know you well, Y/N. You’re not some cold hearted jerk, you are a caring and loving person, so why won’t you let yourself be happy?”

“I am happy the way I am, have you thought about that?”

“No, you’re not. I’ve known you half my life, I know that you want to be cared for, you want to be loved and cherished, yet you push away everyone who wants to give you that.”

“Because it’s not that easy, Harry!” you snap at him. “It’s never just the lovey-dovey shit! Feelings come with hurt and pain and heartbreaks and I don’t need that! I can’t handle that!”

“It’s not always the case! But if you never put yourself out there, you’ll never find the happiness you’re seeking!”

“Well, for me, it doesn’t worth it! I don’t want to fall for someone, plan my future with them and open up to them completely only for them to fall out of love with me one day and decide they don’t want anything to do with me! I don’t want to give anyone the chance to hurt me like that, because I’ve seen what it does to a person! I witnessed it all, Harry! I will not be a victim to that!”

You’re full on shouting, tears rolling down your cheeks at this point. You are letting everything out that’s been bottled up deep inside of you all this time. Nothing can make you believe in the fairytale that will never become your reality and you rather save the time and pain than experiment with it.

What really hurts is that now you are losing your friend. Your best friend. Because the way Harry is looking at you makes it obvious that you’ll never be like before the deal. The hurt, the shock, the panic and the anger, it all mixes in his wide-eyed gaze and it’s like a knife into your chest.

“You promised me, Harry,” you sob, voice now barely more than just a whisper. “You swore you wouldn’t catch feelings but you lied!”

“I didn’t lie,” he simply answers clenching his jaw. “I said I wouldn’t catch feelings for you, but truth is… I already had them. I was already in love with you, have been for a while. And you know what? I think you love me too, but you’re just too afraid to admit it. I know it because I can feel it. The way you touch me, look at me, the way you talk to me, it’s written all over you, but you choose to ignore it.”

“You don’t know shit,” you shake your head vigorously. “You think you know it, but you don’t.”

“Stop denying it, Y/N! You can’t just switch it off! Loving is not as horrendous as you think it is! Yes, it comes with pain too, but the good is always there to make you forget about it. You have to give it… you have to give yourself a chance!”

“I don’t have to do anything, Harry,” you sass back, pushing him away so you have the chance to sneak out of the room before he could stop you. But he doesn’t let it end that easily. Running after you he catches your wrist before you could get out of the hallway, pulling you back.

“Don’t just fucking walk away, Y/N! We need to talk about this!”

“No, we don’t. And I’m done with this. Done with… you.”

It hurts. The words rolling off of your tongue hurt, but you choose to ignore it once again as you shake his hand off of yourself, marching back to your table to grab your bag and leave.

“What do you mean you’re done with me? Don’t do this, Y/N! Let’s just fucking talk!”

Harry keeps trying to stop you, but you’re determined to leave. Your coworkers notice the little scene, but you don’t pay it any attention as you head out of the room, knowing well they’ll talk shit about you behind your back as soon as you’re out of the building.

“Y/N for fuck’s sake just stop already!” Harry snaps, grabbing your arm once again when you’re outside, pulling you back, but you’ve had enough.

“No! I’m not stopping, you need to stop! Stop trying to make yourself believe this is anything more than just the deal we made! It’s not and it will never be, because you don’t get to have the privilege of hurting me, nobody gets to do that!”

“Who said I want to hurt you?! That’s the last thing I would want to do! It’s not as cruel as you imagine it, Y/N. I know that your mum had a terrible love life when you were younger, but that’s not the only side to love! There are so much good about it, so much to fight for and endure with the bad sides, you can’t just throw all of it out the window because you decided love is just not for you!”

“I can and I will. Watch me!” you bite back, tearing your arm out of his hold as you step to the side of the pavement and wave a taxi down.

“Please don’t get into that car, Y/N, let’s talk!”

“We talked enough,” you huff as the car stops in front of you and you hop inside, but just as you are about to close the door Harry once again stops you.

“Y/N, I love you. Please don’t do this!” he begs, so much sorrow and pain radiating from his face and for a moment you fall weak. You almost reach out to him, because part of you hates seeing him like this, especially knowing that it’s because of you. You just want him to be happy, but you know it’s not gonna be with you. You can never give him what he wants and needs. He’ll be better off without you.

“I’m sorry,” you choke out before pulling the door closed and the car drives away. Turning around you see him stand on the pavement, completely broken and shaken, his hands tangling into his hair as he angrily kicks at the dirt before the car melts into the traffic and he falls out of your sight.

You did it for your and Harry’s sake. It had to be done and you are both better off this way. At least that’s what you’ve been trying to convince you to believe.

But why does it hurt so badly then?

Harry tried you calling a million times after you left him at the party, he even came after you and banged on your door for thirty minutes straight, begging you to let him in and just talk, but you didn’t even answer him. Just waited until he left before you curled up in the shower and cried for about an hour.

The calls and texts kept coming in the next few days, but after a while he gave up. He got nothing but silence from your side and one last, long ass text that you didn’t even read because you knew you’d just start crying again, he finally gave up.

You were left alone with all the pain and emptiness and you realized how big part of your life Harry played before. Somehow, everything reminded you of him and you couldn’t do anything without wishing he was with you.

You truly believed that time will heal you, that soon you’ll realize that you made the right decision, but days turned into weeks and nothing changed, you just learned to live with the pain. You stopped going out with your friends and not just because you were afraid of seeing Harry, but because you genuinely couldn’t get yourself to leave the house. Your evenings consisted of binge eating all the ice-cream you could find in your freezer and watching reruns of your favorite shows, but nothing could really take your mind off of Harry.

Day after day you cancelled on Leticia as well until she had enough of your hermit life. She got fed up watching you sink into your pit of sorrow and decided to take things into her own hands and not let you run away from her.

A Friday evening you’re doing what you’ve been doing for weeks now, lying on your couch in sweatpants, scrolling through Netflix when there’s a knock on your door. You wait, hoping whoever it is will think you’re not home and go away, but another obnoxious knock rips through the apartment and you growl.

“I know you’re in there bitch, open the fucking door!” Leticia shouts from outside and you curse the day you became friends with her. Maybe you would have been better off as enemies.

“I’m busy!” you call out, but make your way to the front door anyway, opening it to reveal her.

“Yeah, I can see that. Busy with being a bag of trash,” she comments on your appearance, walking inside without an invitation.

“Jeez, you really did wake up today and chose violence,” you mutter under your breath as you shut the door closed.

Leticia is quick to turn the TV off and open up the windows as you just stand there, not sure what she is doing here.

“When did you clean this place? And when was the last time you took a shower?” she asks, her nose scrunching when she takes a better look at you.

“Okay, did you come here to offend me? Because I don’t need that so please leave.”

“No, I’m here to beat some sense into you.”

“Good luck with that,” you scoff, taking your spot on the couch once again. You reach for the remote with the intention of turning the TV back on, but Leticia stands in front of the screen, blocking the device completely as she stares down at you with a disapproving look, arms folded on her chest.

“You’re acting like a child, Y/N. Avoiding everyone and being mad at the whole world, are you an emo teenager now or what?”

“I’m not mad at the whole world!”

“Okay, then you’re mad at just Harry, still, it’s a mistake.”

“I’m not mad at only Harry either,” you admit truthfully.

“Who else then?”

“Myself?” you mumble, eyes falling closed as you slide lower down on the couch.

“That makes the two of us, but why are you mad at yourself?” she asks, finally moving from her spot in front of the TV as she sits next to you on the couch, crossing her legs as she waits for your answer.

“Because…” you start with a sigh, opening your eyes, but you avoid looking at her, instead, you stare at the wall across you. “Because I can’t fucking stop thinking about him,” you admit and your lips start trembling instantly, just like every time you think about him. “I miss him so fucking badly, Tish! I miss our conversations, I miss his stupid jokes, I miss him raiding my fucking fridge and I miss…”

You bite your tongue, not wanting to admit the next thoughts loudly. Because you miss kissing him, you miss holding him and be held by him. You miss sex too, but you miss the tiny things even more, the way his lips feel against yours, how he smiles against them when you whimper his name and you miss the awkward little things the most. When he accidentally bumps his head against yours or when say random shit right before he pushes into you just to make you laugh, or when he leans in for a kiss but misses it and ends up kissing your nose or just the corner of your mouth. You miss everything about him and you hate him for that, but you hate yourself even more. It feels like your own conscious has betrayed you.

Shutting your eyes closed you let the tears roll down your cheeks as Leticia scoots closer and wraps her arms around you, cooing soothingly at you.

“It’s alright. It’s totally normal, Y/N.”

“It is not! Not for me at least!” you protest pulling back, wiping your cheeks with the back of your hands.

“Stop with the bullshit already!” she growls in annoyance. “You are not some kind of ice queen who is incapable of loving! You love me, right?”

“Yeah, but that’s different,” you roll your eyes.

“Not really. You love your other friends as well, right?” You nod. “And you love your mom,” she adds and you nod again. “Would you do anything for these people?”

“Of course.”

“Do you like spending time with them? Do you care about them in all kinds of ways?”

“Yes,” you sigh, fumbling with the hem of your shirt.

“Do you feel the same way about Harry? Do you care about him, would you do anything for him to make him happy?”

“Yes,” you whisper truthfully.

“Then don’t complicate it. You love him, no big deal! And he surely loves you back, because he told you, right?” You nod. “Then pull your head out of your ass and just let yourself be happy for once.”

“Why are you coming with this too? I was happy on my own too!”

“No, you were getting by,” she points it out. “You were doing good, but you weren’t… a whole. Harry gave you everything you missed, but for some fucked up reason you think it’s the end of the world to depend on someone else partially when it comes to your happiness. Which can be a smart thing, it’s important to be your own person and be independent, but sometimes we need some help from others. From people that love us and we love them back. It’s not a crime, Y/N.”

“No, but it’s gonna end up with me being heartbroken.”

“You already are,” she ruthlessly replies, bringing your attention to what you’ve been trying to ignore all this time. “Hate to break it to you, but this is what that feels like. So why not just go with it, you already felt the pain, now you could go for the good parts as well.”

“I don’t know if I can do it, Tish,” you breathe out, resting your head against the back of the couch. “Even if I did it, I know I would mess it up and hurt him or maybe he’ll do something stupid and hurt me and I don’t think I can handle that.”

“So what? It’s part of the deal. And besides, you’re already hurting each other, so you better get your shit together,” she scoffs, poking your side playfully.

It’s part of the deal. Are you ready to make a new deal? One that you’ve been avoiding your whole life? Are you ready to cut yourself open for someone else and just hope for the best?

Probably not. And probably you’ll never be. But your tactics didn’t succeed so far, you still ended up in pain so why not give it a chance? Even if it’s gonna be the hardest thing you’ve ever done?

“Do you think he hates me now?” you ask quietly, peeking at her scared of her answer.

“He is a bit mad at you for shutting him out, but he could never hate you. That man loves you so much, it’s almost disgusting,” she admits, making you chuckle. “Just… be honest with him and talk to him. You need it. You both need it.”

Harry’s fingers strum against the chords again, trying to get the tune right, but he fails again, a frustrated growl leaving his lips as he lets his head fall forwards. He’s been trying to finish the song for hours, but it still hasn’t come together the way he imagined and his patience is running short.

It’s been hard for him to focus on writing, with you on his mind all the time, everything seems like a hard task. He has written plenty of songs since the night at the party, but he could never use them for his job. One, because they are so fucking sad and depressive and they asked for upbeat hits from him, and two, because they are all so personal, he could never give them to someone else. He can’t let anyone else sing the lines he wrote to you, but you’ll probably never hear them.

Giving up on finishing the song today, he puts the guitar aside and calls it a day. Walking into the kitchen he opens the fridge and realizes that it’s completely empty aside from a bottle of ketchup and a single banana. He’s been such a mess lately, he forgot to go grocery shopping yesterday. Huffing to himself he grabs the banana and reaches for his phone to order something right when his doorbell rings. He is not expecting anyone, but Mitch has been popping in every few days to check in on him since everything that went down with you, so Harry is convinced it’s him again.

“Great timing, do you want Italian or Chinese?” he asks, walking up to the door, but as he swings it open he freezes when he sees you standing on the doormat. “Y/N…” he breathes out as if he was seeing a ghost.

“Hi! I-I hope I’m not bothering you o-or anything…” you ramble nervously.

“No! No, come on in!” He snaps out of his trance and steps aside, letting you walk inside. A feeling of nostalgia hits you right away as you think back at the last time you were here. Just a few days before the party, when everything was different.

“I’m sorry I came without asking, I just… I would say I was nearby, but that’s not true,” you chuckle anxiously as the two of you walk into the living room. You notice that his place is a little messier than usually, but it’s not nearly as bad as yours was before you did a deep cleaning yesterday after Leticia’s comments on it.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it. What… What brought you here?”

“I, uhh… I’ve been thinking. A lot. And I have a few things I need to tell you.”

For a moment Harry’s stomach drops, because he thinks you came here to tell him off one more time for breaking your deal, for everything that happened at the party. He is already bracing himself to just let you lash out on him, but it never comes. And when you speak up again, he nearly faints.

“I love you.”

It’s a strong start, definitely a surprising one. Harry’s lips part and his eyes widen, his look almost comical, but you’re not laughing, not now. You have a lot to tell him and you can only hope he won’t throw you out after everything is said.

“I love you and I’m sorry it took me so long to stop ignoring it, but I promise you I’m done with that. And I’m sorry for everything I said to you that night, I was… mad and confused and I didn’t know how to deal with everything at once. I was delusional and ignorant and… a fool for thinking that I could just choose to never have feelings, especially for you,” you add with a tiny, nervous chuckle. “You were right. About everything. That I can’t live without ever putting myself out there and risking it. And I think deep down I knew that, but I was so afraid of getting hurt that I made myself believe I’m good on my own, but I’m not. Not entirely, to be precise. Because sometimes it is worth risking it and… and I realized that you are the person for me who is worth this risk.”

The tears are already blurring your vision, for the millionth time these past weeks, but it feels right now. Opening up to Harry and telling him all of this is hard, but with every spoken word you feel lighter and more relieved.

“I’m sorry if I made you think that I don’t love you, because I do. I really do. You are my best friend and these past weeks have been hell for me without you. I was so keen on avoiding a heart break that I ended up breaking my own heart,” you chuckle bitterly, the first tear running down your cheek.

Harry reaches out and wipes it away with his thumb and you involuntarily melt into his touch. You’ve been starved for it and now it feels like home. When you look up and your eyes meet his, you see that they are red too and it just makes you want to cry even more.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, I just thought that I was doing the right thing, but I was so far from that. So I’m really sorry and I understand if you don’t want to see me again for the way I acted. I was… a horrible friend and… an even worse girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend?” he asks quietly.

“Yeah. Because you were right, we were more than just the deal and… if you choose not to throw me out after this, I would… I would love to give it a try with you. I want to be the girlfriend you deserve and though I’m sure I’ll mess it up a lot of times, I promise I’ll try my best, becau—“

He makes your rambling stop in the best way possible, lips smashing against yours as he cups your tear-soaked cheeks in his warm palms, pulling you close to him, your arms curling around his waist immediately.

Harry has kissed you several times before, but none of them compares to this. It’s messy and salty from both your tears, but you wouldn’t change a thing about it, the way his lips move against yours, tongues meeting, devouring each other, making up for the lost time and full of promises for the future. You hold onto his shirt at his back for dear life as he just keeps kissing you over and over again until you both run out of breath.

“So, does this mean you’re not throwing me out?” you joke, breaking the silence once you’ve pulled back.

“Fuck no,” he laughs, pecking your lips a few more times before his lips meet your forehead. “You are not leaving this place, ever. You’re trapped,” he adds to the joke and you break out in a relieved laughter.

“Wait, so I’m stuck with you now?” you whine playfully, but all you get is another kiss on the lips, hard and demanding.

“Yeah, forever, baby. You won’t get rid of me now, not after the speech you just gave me,” he smirks down at you, his arms coming to curl around your shoulders as he keeps you pressed against him tightly. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” you reply, your heart soaring as you hear those words again from him, this time, not even trying to dodge them in any way. In fact, you just want to hear him say it every minute over and over again for the rest of your life. “And I’m happy to be stuck with you,” you add with a shy smile as his grin widens at your words.

“Yeah? So we have a new deal then?” he teases, kissing the corner of your mouth.

“Absolutely.”

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

[svnflowervol666]

An interview during self-isolation with Zane Lowe (Harry Styles x fem!Reader)

Word Count: 2.2k

Author’s Note: I’ve gotten a ton of asks to the tune of this scenario - about what a quarantine video with Harry and his family would look like. I put as many of them together as I could for you all! Hope you enjoy and it’s not too confusing, as this isn’t my typical writing style, but I tried my best to make it worth your while! Take care and TPWK.

“Harry, can ye’ hear me alright?” Harry heard Zane Lowe’s voice fill his right ear as he readjusted his headphones.

“Yeah, I can hear ya,” he responded, running his fingers through his hair once everything was situated and his laptop was balanced perfectly on his knee.

“I’ve just been video calling and chatting it up with everyone on how they’re navigating the pandemic, so I’m very thankful you’ve agreed to join in.”

“‘S no problem. Thank you f’ having me.”

“Oh!” Zane interjected his own strain of thought, “I see you’ve brought a special guest for us today,” he said when Harry’s screen finally focused and he was able to see everything on Harry’s end.

Harry chuckled, the dimples on either corner of his mouth growing wider at the mention of the sleeping body on his chest that’s got a fuzzy blanket tucked into their sides and draped over Harry’s upper half.

“I have,” Harry agreed, “Though he’s not gonna be worth much. Being a two-year-old is exhausting apparently.”

He gave the toddler a few gentle pats on the back and continued to look at Zane through the webcam.

“This is your son, right?” Zane asked.

“Who? Him?” Harry asked, nodding his head in the direction of his child, “Nah. Found him on the street.”

Both men laughed, but Harry tried to lower his volume as to not wake up his son.

“Well, he looks an awful bit like you t’ be a stray, don’t ye’ think?”

“I suppose the curls are quite convincing, aren’t they?” Harry sighed, playfully rolling his eyes.

“What’s brought your bubs along with you for this interview?”

“Erm,” Harry thought, wondering if he should be talking this much about his personal life but ultimately deciding it wasn’t too invasive, “Y/N’s been pretty tired lately, so I’m just trying to keep him out of her hair so she can rest. He’s going through a phase where he’s very clingy right now so he’d probably be crying f’ me at some point if I left him in his room.”

“Oh, that’s right!” it suddenly dawned on Zane, “You two are expecting again, aren’t you?

“We are,” Harry smiled softly yet proudly into the screen, “‘s kinda scary for us right now, but we’re hoping everything is cleared up before it’s time.”

“Yeah, yeah. I was just about to say right now’s probably not the greatest time to be havin’ a baby.”

“Well, the baby’s not due for a few more months so I think everything’ll be alright, but it’s still just kinda nerve-wracking ye’ know?”

“Absolutely,” Zane added, “This has all got t’ be tough on your guys; having to self-isolate with a toddler plus having one on the way.”

“Ehh, it’s not so bad,” Harry countered, rubbing his eyes with his knuckles as he spoke. “We’ve been spending a lot of time t’gether, which is pretty great. I just got done with all of the album promo, so I’d already been gone for a while. Plus, I was about to leave for tour for like a month so we were kinda sad about having to say goodbye before, but now I don’t have to. We talk to our families a lot and keep in touch with everyone pretty regularly so we don’t feel like we’re going too crazy.”

“Good! That’s good.”

Harry nodded in agreement.

“I was going to ask you about tour actually. You’ve pushed the European leg of your Love on Tour to next year, is that correct?”

“Correct.”

“That must be hard for you, I’m sure. I bet you were so ready to get back on the road and to have it all pulled out from under ye’ was probably not the greatest feeling.”

“I mean, it’s obviously disappointing, but like, in the grand scheme of things, it’s not the most important thing in the world. But I think everyone kinda understands that there’s not anything you can do about it and ye’ have to do what you can to keep everyone safe, ya know?”

“For sure,” Zane nodded, readjusting the hat on his head.

“Plus, it gives you time to practice doesn’t it?”

Harry’s belly shook as he laughed softly.

“Definitely gives us plenty of time to be prepar-”

Harry stopped in his tracks and looked down at his son who was still napping away, lifting his hand up from where it had been rested on his tiny bum.

“Everything alright?” Zane asked Harry after he was still quiet for a few seconds and his eyes were as wide as saucers.

“Uhh, yeah,” Harry stuttered as a noticeable heat climbed to his cheeks, “Think m’ son’s just farted on me in his sleep.”

This made Zane laugh even harder than he had before, clutching his chest while Harry remained embarrassed that his son had just passed gas on him during his first interview.

The commotion seemed to stir Harry’s son from his sleep. His pudgy legs began to stretch against Harry’s chest and his balled-up fists reached up to rub at his closed eyes. Harry seemed to sense some trepidation, like his son was going to start fussing at any given moment, so he quickly began bouncing his small body against his knee to soothe him and shushed him quietly in his ear. Zane didn’t draw much attention to it, but he couldn’t help but swoon over how easily Harry’s son settled back down.

Harry whispered, “’s alright, bubby. You’re alright,” before kissing the top of his curls gently, no doubt making the viewers lose their minds at home with how gentle he was being towards his boy.

“So your boy farts himself awake, huh?” Zane joked.

“Wouldn’t be the first time. He’s an absolute mess,” Harry added.

“Does he take after you or Y/N?”

Clearly, neither of them were interested in talking about music or tour anymore. Harry’s son had stolen the show, and he wasn’t even conscious.

“A little bit of both I’d say. He’s extremely kind and caring like Y/N, but loves to mess around like me. Can’t really say he got any of Y/N’s looks, though.”

“Absolutely not,” Zane chuckled into his mic, “That one’s all you.”

Harry laughed again, rubbing the tip of his nose with the palm of his hand out of habit.

“Is he excited to be a big brother?”

“Ehh, I think he kinda gets the idea, but not really,” Harry tilted his hand back and forth to symbolize the fact that his toddler could just barely come to grips with there being another baby in his mum’s belly.

“He knows there’s ‘something in mummy’s tummy,’“ Harry noted using air quotes, “And he like, gives Y/N’s stomach kisses all of the time because we tell him to and he sees me do it, but I don’t really think he’s come to grips with it.”

“Well, that makes sense,” Zane responded, “He’s only two.”

“Right, right,” Harry agreed, “But he’s, like, super cuddly and loves his stuffed animals and stuff, so I don’t think he’s gonna have a hard time at all really.”

Just when Zane was going to try to get back on topic with his prepared list of questions he had written up for Harry that didn’t involve his son, there was a commotion on Harry’s end that occurred somewhere beyond the view of the camera.

It was the sound of a door shutting a feet padding against hardwood steps.

“Harry!” a voice called out.

“Have you seen my laptop charger? I’m trying to FaceTime Gem- Oh,” the voice stopped.

“Sorry, baby,” Harry spoke above the laptop screen to whoever had just walked into the room, “Couldn’t find mine and I had t’ talk t’ Zane.”

“Which Zane?”

“Is that Y/N I hear?” Zane asked Harry.

Harry laughed at his wife’s words, quickly specifying that it was Zane Lowe and not his former bandmate.

“Yes, it is Y/N. She’s awoken from her beauty sleep it appears.”

The camera wasn’t able to pick up the way Y/N rolled her eyes at Harry.

“Gimme one of those,” Y/N demanded, holding her hand out for the other earbud that Harry wasn’t wearing so she could join in on his conversation with Zane.

Harry swung the free earbud around his chest with his free hand as to not disturb their son, smiling smugly at his wife while she settled onto the sofa next to him and cuddled into his side.

“Hello, gorgeous,” Zane greeted her.

“Hello, handsome,” Y/N responded, “How come you never call to talk to me anymore? Why do you only care about this nobhead?”

She playfully shoved Harry’s shoulder, but not hard enough to actually knock him sideways.

“He does have the number one album in the country right now. Kinda makes sense to check in on him now, dunnit?”

“And I’m his baby mama, so where’s my praise for carrying his little spawns?”

“You truly are a saint for tha’ one. I won’t lie.”

Harry feigned offense but failed to hide the smile that tugged on the corners of his lips.

“I’m sitting right here!” he scoffed.

“We know, love,” Y/N cooed him as she looked over at him and brushed his curls that had fallen onto his forehead back into his mess of hair. 

“How are you doing, though, Y/N? We talked a bit about you while you were away. Harry said you’re strugglin’ a bit?”

“Umm, I mean, it’s just normal pregnancy stuff,” she dismissed his qualms as she absentmindedly stroked her protruding belly that was just barely in the frame, “I’m at the point where everything hurts all of the time and everything Harry does annoys the piss out of me, but other than that I’m pretty much normal.”

“Goodness. He didn’t tell me that part,” Zane chuckled, “Please elaborate.”

“Okay, well first of all-,” Y/N started.

“Why are you acting like you were just waiting f’ someone to ask you that question?” Harry forced through laughter.

“Because I’ve got a lot to say!” she exclaimed.

“You don’t pick up your dirty clothes, you leave your tea mugs all around the house, and you and your son eat all of my bread!”

“I do not eat all of the bread!” Harry started to playfully argue with his wife.

“I caught you sneaking into the pantry at midnight eating bread right out of the bag, Harold.”

“Well, what were you doin’ awake in the kitchen at midnight anyway, hmm?”

“I’m pregnant. I’m allowed to be hungry every twenty minutes. You’ve got no excuse.”

Harry sighed in defeat, meanwhile, Zane sat back and enjoyed listening to the two of them bickering like children. 

“Sounds like the quarantine might getting t’ the both of you, huh?”

“Oh, no,” Y/N dismissed Zane, “We’re always like this.”

Just then, Harry felt the weight distribution on his chest shift, and saw a pair of emerald green eyes identical to his open and look back and forth between him and Y/N. His pudgy cheeks were flushed a warm, crimson color and the t-shirt he had taken a nap in was tugged over to the side from how well he had slept.

“Well, hello there, bubby. Nice of you t’ join us,” Harry spoke calmly to his son that was in the middle of waking up, gently brushing his fingers along the side of his face.

“Dear god. He looks just like you, Harry,” Zane said in disbelief.

This made Harry blush and hide his face in his son’s plush blanket, and Y/N looked lovingly down at her two boys.

“I know he does,” Harry confirmed, “Poor thing.”

Y/N rolled her eyes at Harry’s comment. As if that was meant to be an insult.

“Hung-y,” the three of them heard the toddler mumble.

“What’s that, lovie?” Y/N perked up.

“I hung-y” he repeated, his arms outstretched for his mother to which she happily accepted.

The boy crawled right over Harry towards Y/N, his foot sinking deep into Harry’s gut and making him grunt in reaction. 

“You’re hungry?” Y/N asked, “You want some lunch, bubs?”

He nodded into Y/N’s shoulder where he had tucked himself away, clearly still in the mood to be loved on and cuddled.

“Well, let’s go make you something to eat then. What do you want? A banana?”

“Bread!” cheered the two-year-old, which earned a laugh from everyone in the room and an eye-roll from Y/N.

“Of course, you want bread. Wouldn’t expect anything less from your father’s child.”

“Why are you bullying me?” Harry fired back.

“Because you’re eating all of my damn bread!” Y/N yelled before scooping their son up from the couch and teetering out of frame into the kitchen.

“Alright,” started Zane, “Seems like it’s time for me to leave you three alone. Thanks for stopping in t’ chat.”

Harry chortled, readjusting his headphone one last time to sign off.

“Thanks again f’ havin’ me. Sorry my family crashed your interview.”

“It’s no bother at all, mate. ‘S actually quite refreshing seeing ye’ like this. I’m sure everyone watching would agree. Reminds us all that you’re human and not some robot with perfect hair and the voice of an angel.”

Harry hid his face in his hands, blushing for what felt like the thousandth time during this video call. 

“I hope you lot continue to stay safe and healthy through all of this.”

“Thank you so much. You as well,” Harry added.

“Of course. Tell Y/N I’ll ring her up soon.”

“Will do,” Harry nodded, “If she doesn’t kill me f’ asking her t’ make me some toast first.”

[mobagehelllocal]

“you are the best thing, that’s ever been mine”

Hi! If you could can you write the dorm leaders squishing/reacting to their s/o’s soft and adorable cheeks, or just them cupping their cheeks in their hands (like those vids with the dogs fitting themselves in their owner’s hands)

- from Anonymous

A/N: Hi Anon~! Thank you so much for this! I listened to Taylor Swift’s whole Speak Now album to get into the vibe... and “Mine” seemed to suit it... so that’s where the title is from! ... This almost got called Chubby Bunny but... I never liked that game xD

--

"Uwawa~ Riddle this is delicious!” You had hummed, a fork pressed against your lips, and a hand on your cheek as you chewed happily. Riddle was torn between being incredibly pleased or embarrassed at the amount of praise that you were casually throwing at him. 

“Of course!” Riddle decided, as he puffed his chest out and straightened his back. 

“You definitely learnt from last time.” you giggled, as you remembered how he had actually taken Trey’s statement seriously about the oyster sauce...

“That was Trey’s fault.” Riddle defended himself and you giggled again. 

“Either way, this is delicious~” you pop another slice of it into your mouth. “Ish really good~” 

“Don’t talk with your mouth full.” He scolded lightly, as he brushed a gloved hand at the corner of your mouth to remove pie crumbs. At the action, you beamed at him brilliantly, and his heart melted at how adorable you looked. 

Unconsciously he found himself cupping your cheek as you chewed your pie. You blinked at hm in surprise, and as you swallowed, you closed your eyes and leant your face into his palm. He felt his face flare up in response.

Under the light of the hot afternoon sun, surrounded by the red roses of Heartslabyul and the colorful tea set prepared for the Tea Party...

You--serene, eyes shut, and the way you leant into his touch so naturally--his pulse leapt in response. 

Resplendent.

“You...”

When Riddle began to speak your eyes opened to peer at him curiously. 

“...” 

“Riddle?” 

“I’m glad I met you.” Riddle said, his heart pounded in his ears. 

“Hrm?” 

“If it weren’t for you... I don’t think I could be myself.” 

“You give me too much credit... Ace, Trey, everyone... they were there too.” you laughed lightly, but he shook his head. 

“Yes but... you’re here right now.” he said very quietly, as he reached his other hand to lace with your own. “You’re by my side. You’re my friend, and also my...” here he paused as his blush brightened, and you couldn’t help the grin that spread across your face in response. “My lover...” he whispered.

“Thank you.” he smiled gently, “for helping me find who I want to be... and for accepting me as myself.” 

“Silly Riddle.” you giggled as you leant forward to press your forehead against his. “That’s not something you need to thank me about!” 

“So you say but...” 

His eyes fluttered shut, and his heart might be beating fast--but he was at peace with you by his side. 

‘Thank you, [Name]... for being mine.’

--

Leona felt something tickle his nose, which made his whole face twitch. As he jerked his head away from the ticklish sensation, the light of the morning sun hit his eyes, and he blinked rapidly. 

‘Morning.’ he sighed, already exhausted just at the thought of it. When he looked away from the wide windows of his dorm room, he glanced down to see your head lying on his right arm. ‘No wonder I couldn’t move it.’

Since he couldn’t move (not that Leona wanted to move), he decided to watch you until he fell asleep again. He raised a hand and began to brush it through your hair--aimlessly choosing to untangle your hair. He snorted softly to himself as you let out a particularly loud snore against his arm.

He resolved to tease you about it later... but for now.

He spent the morning admiring the way you looked in his arms, in his bed--in his room, greeting the dawn of a new day by his side.

To be honest...

‘It’s not a bad look on you.’ he decided, ‘it’s something I can get used to.’ 

His tanned hand trailed down, from your hair, and cupped your cheek gently--brushing the pad of his thumb against your cheek. 

Your cheek was soft against his touch, and from this close he could see the way freckles dotted your skin. He loved to nap in patches of sunlight, and since you constantly spent time with him--he had, on more than one occasion--dragged you to lie with him under the sun. When his thumb brushed underneath your eye, your lashes twitched.  

“Mhm... Leona...” you muttered, and his ear twitched in response to that. 

“Are you dreaming about me, herbivore?” he asked lowly, at which you didn’t respond. You did however turn your head. Originally you had tucked your head underneath his chin, and had tangled your legs with his at some point in the night. You turned your whole body so that all your back was pressed against the bed--your head still on his arm. 

As the light of the sun illuminated your whole form, he could see the way your eye lashes twitched, but determinedly stayed shut. He chuckled at that. He slowly slid his arm out from underneath your head and moved to straddle you. 

His other hand still cupped your cheek, and he leant down to brush his nose against yours.

He cherished this quiet moment. 

He knew he wasn’t the best person at expressing his happiness with you being by his side. It was just... difficult for him. 

You--ever so kind, and understanding--you knew these things without prompting. You had never demanded more of him than he was comfortable giving--even if (and this is something he would never tell anyone--) he would push himself--if it was something you truly wanted.  

“When did I become so smitten with you?” he asked, underneath his breath as he stared at you--as if your sleeping face held all the answers to his problems.

And wasn’t there a sense of truth in that? 

When he had asked the universe for a mate who would see him--

The universe had delivered you to him. 

Under the morning light of the sun, as he pressed a brief kiss against your forehead, he renewed his promise.

‘You will never be left wanting,’ he thought, ‘you are mine.’

--

You had been standing with Azul next to the huge window of Octavinelle’s Mostro Lounge that peered into the depths of the sea when you feel something enter your eye. 

“Ack--!” Azul’s head whipped in your direction when you start making uncomfortable noises.

“[Name], are you alright?”

“Hngh... Yeah--just--something got in my eye.” You rapidly begin blinking, but the irritation causes you to start crying. Azul twitched at that--he hated seeing your tears. So he reached forward and gently cupped your face in his hand before he leaned in.

“Which eye?”

“This one.” you point at your left eye as you rapidly blink. “Blow please?” 

“Of course.” Azul gently brushed the tears away, as he raised his lips to gently blow at your eye. “How’s that, my love?” 

“Still there.” you said as you blinked again. Azul repeated the process until you finally confirmed that it was gone. 

Azul had chosen not to let you go though, and as you blinked your tears away, he would gently swipe them at them with the pads of his fingers. In the process of that, Azul began to grow lost in thought.

Azul hated your tears as much as he hated his own.

He had always hated that he was quick to cry about almost everything--especially about anything that made him feel upset.

He hated your tears because it meant that you had been hurt. He (and the twins really) always fell into an overprotective state whenever your eyes would turn glassy. 

You--who had chosen him despite all his flaws...

Despite all of his mistakes, his faults, his imperfections...

He had long accepted that he wasn’t worthy of your love, to have your presence at his side.

But for some reason you chose him--you had still chosen him.

It’s because of that, that he was so grateful you were willing to stay by his side. 

The least he could do is make sure you will never cry. 

The least he could do is be the best person he can be, so you would be proud to call him your lover. 

And if in your future you would cry--then Azul will do everything in his power to at least make them tears of joy. 

You stared into Azul’s eyes. You could tell he was a million miles away, deeply reminiscing... 

“See something you like?” He flinched at you suddenly speaking, and realized he’d been holding your face for a socially inappropriate length of time. 

“Sorry I’ll--”

“You mean you don’t like what you see?” 

“That’s-- of course not!” His face brightened, going from the lightest shade of pink to a brilliant shade of red. You giggled in response.

“You--why must you keep teasing me like this?” he sighed, as he rubbed his fingers against your cheeks. “You didn’t use to do this.” 

“I got it from Jade and Floyd.” you chirped back, and you giggled at his angry mutterings of ‘corruptions’ and ‘why I oughta--’

He’s distracted from his ramblings when he felt you lace your fingers with his hands. 

“Such gentle, caring hands.” you hummed. “the hands of the one who makes me happy.”  

You thought it was impossible for his blush to intensify--but it did. 

The way your eyes fluttered close in bliss, the happy smile on your lips and the way that the ocean’s waves illuminated your skin made him think--

‘You belong here, right by my side.’ 

“I’ll,” he paused as he cleared his throat, He blinked rapidly, and hoped that he wouldn’t start crying. “I will do my best to be someone who can make you even happier.” 

“I’m already happiest by your side Azul.” you beamed up at him, your eyes contained the endless depth of your love, and he felt like he could drown in them. “Just never let go.” 

“I have no plans too.” He said, serious, at which you giggled.

“I think this is the part you kiss me.” you said, all cheeky, and though the red on his cheeks flare up again, he leant down to kiss you.

If Azul used contracts to make a deal with other people--what you had were his kisses. 

Azul’s tender kisses were his promises to you--of never letting go, and of happiness in your relationship. 

--

"Do you like the food [Name]?” Kalim beamed at you, and you couldn’t help but beam back--your cheeks filled with tasty treats from the Land of Hot Sands.

“Mhm! Kalim ish good!” Kalim only laughed at how adorable you were when you spoke with a mouth full. 

“I’m glad you like it!” Kalim nodded happily as he too began to eat, “Jamil cooks very well after all.” Jamil twitched as he was mentioned, and when he looked up from his meal, he’s instantly blinded by both of your brilliant smiles.

“Jamil! Thanks!” Jamil felt his brow twitched as the both of your spoke with your cheeks filled with food.

“Stop talking with your mouths full.” he reminded, while he thought ‘these two were made for each other.’ You both simultaneously swallowed your food, cleared your throats and spoke in unison again--

“Jamil!~ Thanks for the food~!” you both beamed. 

‘Ugh, bright.’ he thought, as he sighed and looked away, his hand tugging at his hoodie. “Yeah yeah, just eat already.” 

In response the two of you promptly dug in and kept eating. 

“Mhm~ I really love the spices used.” you hummed. 

Kalim couldn’t help but just smile at how much you enjoyed spending time in Scarabia and taking a part in his culture. He wanted to bring you home with him for sure during one of the breaks--he would love to share with you the culture of his home. 

You were adorable already in your enthusiasm for his culture, he can’t wait to write a letter off to home to ensure that you would have clothes from his culture too. He was sure you would be thrilled with it. 

You chewed happily, but when you looked up you noticed that Kalim was looking at you with a really goofy grin.

“Hrm? Is something up Kalim? Do I have something on my face?” 

“No, you’re just really cute.” he said with a grin (a few seats away, Jamil thumped his head against a table and groaned in disgust). 

You felt your cheeks flare up in response.

“Aw! You look even cuter with red cheeks!” Kalim declared as he reached forward to cup your face in his hands. You swallowed, nearly choking in the process as you felt your face become hotter.

“Ungh! Kalim! Don’t embarrass me!” 

“But I can’t help it! I adore you!” he said, with a wide grin and your heart pounded in your ears because this boy was going to be the death of you. 

“Kalim is cuter than me!” you protested, as you reached forward to press your hands against his cheeks.

“No, you are!” he mushed your cheeks together, and laughed as you struggled against his hands.

“No you are!” you pinched his cheeks in response, and when both of your gazes meet, you shared a giggle at how silly you two probably looked like. 

“You two...” you both flinched as you see Jamil give you both a death stare. “Finish your food or so help me...” 

“Sorry Jamil!” you both yelped as you dug in back into your meals--though that didn’t stop the two of you from sharing a glance, and giggling to yourselves. 

--

"Hold still, my sweet potato.” Vil ordered with a roll of his eyes. “I need to put this eyeliner on you.” 

“I just don’t like things close to my eyeballs.” you tried to defend yourself. “It scares me.” 

“I’ve been doing make up for a long time, sweet potato.” Vil chided gently. “Do you not trust me?”

“Yes?” you would’ve shrugged if Vil would’ve let you but he didn’t. “No? Yes? It’s me? It just... makes me uncomfortable.”

“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear you say you didn’t trust me.” Vil huffed, before he quite literally used his other hand to keep your face still by cupping your cheek. “Do not move, or we’ll have to start from the top.” he threatened, you let out a whiny sound.

“I mean it, sweet one.” Vil said, “I’ll have to reapply the moisturizer, the foundation--” 

“Alright, alright.” your fist clenched as you tried to hold your position.

“Close your eyes.” you obeyed, and you caught the satisfied smile that spread on your lover’s pink lips, before you completely closed your eyes. 

Vil leant in as he began to line your eyes with a deep violet color. He could see your eyelids quiver at his movements, and the way your lips twisted downward in discomfort. Despite that, you put up with him. It made his smile slip into a much gentler one. When he pulled away, he immediately warned you not to open your eyes yet so that the liner could dry. You mumbled out a protest, but kept your eyes shut. 

Vil couldn’t help but chuckle underneath his breath.

You were truly--

peculiar. 

His hold on your face slackened, and though you twitched in response to that, you didn’t open your eyes. He leant forward, and began to gently blow over your lids so they’d dry faster. He could see the minuscule twitch of your eyes, and nose at the sudden sensation. He pulled back a little to admire your face against his palm. 

Don’t get him wrong--you were always going to be splendidly beautiful in his eyes--whether he was waking up in the morning to see you snoring away, or when you were busy stuffing yourself away with your favourite food but--

But because he was a social media celebrity, he knew that some people didn’t like you. There were people out there with ugly hearts who refused to acknowledge your relationship because of it.

You always told him you didn’t mind, that what mattered was that you both loved each other.

While that placated Vil, there was just one thing he wanted to do.

He wanted to show you off.

He was very happy to be taken, and proud that you were his partner. 

He wanted people to realize how amazing you are.

He wanted them to realize that you were a steal--and that you belonged to Vil as much as he belonged to you. 

So when he’s painting your eyelids lavender to match the tips of his hair, and your lips the matching pink shade on his own lips--he’s declaring that to the world--

‘This person is mine. Just as must as I am theirs. They are the best thing I have and no criticism you throw our way will get in the way of that.’ 

“Vil, are you done?” you asked.

“Let me just put the finishing touch.” he said, as he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, and leant in to press a soft kiss against your lips.

A soft one, just so he doesn’t have to redo anything.

When he pulled back, he’s delighted to see the red tint rise to your cheeks.

“Beautiful.” he smiled, “you can open your eyes now.” 

Your eyes fluttered open, and his heart leapt--

you looked so good in his colors. 

--

You eagerly stared up at the monitor, back at Idia, and repeated this several times before the Ignihyde dorm leader finally gave in.

“Alright.” he sighed very deeply as you cheered. “I’ll help you make your character.” 

“I want them to look like me please!” you requested, and Idia nodded. 

It was easy enough for him to maneuver the mouse around to make sure that the character model had your hair, and body type. Then he zoomed in on the face.

“Come closer.” he instructed with a tone of confidence that you normally didn’t hear from the Ignihyde dorm leader. You blinked in surprise, but shrugged. Once you had pulled your chair closer to him, Idia wasted no time and cupped your face with his hand. He brought his face close as he began to customize the character’s face to look like yours.

“[Name]’s forehead is small, but cute...”

“Their brows should be like this...” 

“[Name]’s eyes are sparkly, I can get blinded by them...” 

“Cute. Nose.” 

“I love kissing their lips... The shape are like this...” 

“The jawline--yes, soft and adorable...” 

You could feel your face heat up as he muttered all this lovingly underneath his breath--as if that would make it so that you couldn’t hear it. 

“Alright, I’m done.” Idia’s smile was wide and pleased as he turned back to you. 

Your face was red. 

“Are you okay, [Name]?” he tilted his head in concern.

“That is...” you muttered as you lowered your face to hide your expression.

That’s when it hits Idia that he’s holding your face in his hand.

“Eeek! Sorry!” he yelped as he pulled his hand away from yours. 

“No--no it’s fine.” you squeaked in response as your hands flew to your face, as you hoped you can get the red flush on your cheeks to calm down.

“I’m sorry! I held your face without permission!” 

“No--no it’s not that Idia!” you protested.

“Then--what, what was it?” he asked, his own hands covered his face. He felt his heart get hit by a bunch of arrows when you shyly look up at him through your lashes. 

‘Cute! You were so cute! If he had just a bit more confidence, he’d tell you that everyday and kiss you!’ 

“I...Idia... did you...” you glanced away awkwardly at the monitor, and he followed your gaze to the 3d model of a character made to look like you. “Do you... often, mutter under your breath?” 

“Uh well--Ortho tells me I do it a lot but I normally don’t realize I...” Idia froze in response.

“[Name]...?”

“Yeah?” 

“You mean I... was I thinking out loud?” 

“Um. Yeah.” you squealed lightly, and his whole body turned red. 

“Oh no! Ortho! Your brother is on fire!” 

--

Malleus stared expressionlessly up at the sky as he waited for you.

“Tsunotaro!” you had greeted when you had seen him earlier in the halls. “Are you going on a walk tonight?” 

“I will.” He nodded, beside him Sebek bristled at the nickname.

“Cool~ Wait for me okay?” you beamed, before you skipped off. “See you Tsunotaro!” 

“Lord Malleus,” Sebek hesitated. “If I may be allowed to ask...?” 

“You’re already asking.” Malleus arched a brow as Sebek sputtered quickly.

“My apologies.” he said, as he quickly jerked down to bow, “but I must ask--why do you let that person call you nicknames?” 

Malleus stared down at Sebek who began to sweat at the intensity of the young Lord’s stare. Malleus sighed, and he looked up in the direction you had left. 

Truthfully it was because...

(”Who are you?” an innocent question, and the curious face of a person who didn’t know him.

I didn’t want this person to realize who I was because--)

“Who knows?” Malleus hummed, before he turned away. 

A faint sound disrupted his thoughts.

Malleus blinked, and turned his head to see you creep up on him. You were hidden behind a tree, the shadows overwhelmed your form. (He frowned--you did not belong in the shadows.) 

“Ah, you heard that?” Once you made eye contact, you stepped away from the shadows, and walked right into the moonlight. Malleus could feel his face smoothen at the way the iridescent, soft glow of the moon kissed your features. (’Better,’ he thought to himself.)

“Were you attempting to sneak up on me?” Malleus asked, a smirk grew on his lips. Ah, weren’t you just so adorable and amusing? 

“I tried.” you shrugged, before you finally paused to stand before him. “Hey, why is it that even when sitting down, you’re still taller than me?”

“Perhaps you should sleep early.”

“Eh? Then won’t that mean I can’t accompany you on your walks?” Malleus stood slowly, and carried with him such elegance that makes your breath catch in your throat. Malleus was just too pretty.

Your thoughts halt when Malleus reached forward to cup your face with a hand. Instinctively you lean in, and pressed your cheek against his large hand. 

“You are not afraid at all.” No matter how much Malleus knew this, it never ceases to amaze him. 

He--is a dragon fae. 

He--is the fifth strongest magician in this world.

He--is the heir to the throne of the Valley of Thorns. 

He is a terrifyingly powerful immortal--and you were a soft, delicate mortal with a body that could break and a spirit that could be lost if he is not mindful of himself. 

Yet you let him touch you like this.

He stared into your eyes, tiny windows to the galaxy of your soul. He wished he could read your mind, spend time exploring all of which that made up every facet of you. 

You were so dazzling. 

Your fingers laced with his, as you pressed his cool hand against your warm cheek. 

“How could I be afraid?” your eyes flickered upward shyly as you look into Malleus’ bright ones. 

“This hand could kill you.” 

He said, as nonchalantly as he would speak about the weather.

“No,” you disagreed. “this is the hand of a kind person.”

His eyes widened, and he felt his heart skipped a beat at that. 

“This is the hand of a person who helped me despite not knowing me,” you continued. “this is the hand of a lonely man, who has a pretty smile when I make him laugh.” 

He could feel his face heat up at that. 

Malleus Draconia--blushed.

“I’ve never been called kind before.” he commented idly. 

“Well, people should see that you’re a kind person, Tsunotaro!” you exclaimed, as you puffed your cheeks in frustration. 

He only laughed in response, as he gently squeezed your cheeks. 

“I don’t think I need anyone else to know that.” 

“Huh? but why?” 

He hummed and chose not to answer you. Instead he leant down to pull you in a warm embrace, his hold on you tightened as you tentatively wrapped your arms around his body.

‘That’s because... I need only hear it from you, my bright light.’ 

--

[tinyboxxtink]

"Caught In The Storm" *Part 8*

Alright y'all I know this took me ALL day, but I re-wrote it and tweaked it until it was PERFECT. And by "perfect" I mean "perfectly HEARTBREAKING." I'm really proud of this one to be honest with you, I can't wait to see what you think.

This is the crescendo folks, it's all been leading here. Let's all take a deep breath and get some tissues.

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@wanniiieeee

@milkshqke

@lolliepopsicle

@gibbs274

@objection-argumentative

@word-scribbless

@aprildecker-blog

PART 9 IS HERE!

Over the next few weeks you balanced promoting your album and planning a wedding all at the same time. Surprisingly, Rafael had decided that he was too busy to have an intern anymore so Nathan had gotten a job elsewhere.

You hadn't talked since that night that you got engaged.

So here you were, standing in a bridal shop prancing around in ball gowns, presenting yourself to Olivia Amanda and Kelsey.

“What do you think about this one?” You twirled in a bright poofy chiffon white dress.

“Too poofy,” Amanda laughed.

"Agreed," the other two added.

"We've been here for 3 hours. Can we just throw up a coin and go with that one?" You whined.

"This is your wedding dress darling," Olivia said softly, taking your hand. "This is the dress you're going to wear on the happiest day of your life, don't you care about that?"

"Yeah.. I guess so," you sighed. "I liked the one with a long train that was sleeveless with the tiara," You finally smiled. "Did you like that one?"

"Wonderful choice, baby girl," Olivia smiled.

------

When you got home from the dress shop, Kelsey decided to call you out.

"Okay what was that?"

"What was what?"

"Why were you being such a brat in the bridal store today?"

"I'm just tired," you lied. "I'm tired from all the promoting and the planning and I just don't want to do it anymore."

"Which part don't you want to do anymore?" Kelsey asked with a suspicious look.

"What does that mean?" You eyed her back.

“I think you know what it means." She crossed her arms.

"Whatever. I don't want to talk about this anymore. I've got an early autograph signing." You walked off and slammed your door.

-----

The next day you were at your autograph signing; You smiled and signed politely, lightly chatting to each fan that came up to you.

You did your best to keep light and not bum everybody out, But you were drained. Getting close to the end of the line, you looked down and saw a hand push your album in front of you.

"And who do I make this out to ?" You asked almost in a robotic voice.

"Could you make it out to Rafa?" A familiar voice asked.

You looked up to see Rafael standing there with a small sad smile.

"Rafa..." you whispered. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm buying your album obviously, carino," He smiled again.

"You really don't have to do that" you shook your head.

"I wanted to," he said. Now will you please sign it?"

"Yeah," you smiled. You wanted to talk to him so much more but you still had a line and you couldn't just walk away from all these fans that had bought your album.

"Alright carino well I'm...I'll see ya," He gave you another nod before squeezing your hand softly and walking away.

You couldn't believe that he had taken that moment to come see you. Was it because he didn't want to talk to you? Was it because he didn't want to get into anything? Was he mad at you for saying yes to anything?

All of these things ran through your head as he walked away but again, you couldn't do anything about it and you hated it.

---

Finally it was the night before your wedding. Kelsey had decided to sleep at her boyfriend's house so that you could have the house to yourself, your one final night alone.

You figured people would think you were spending it celebrating, doing your nails or a million other girly things; but instead you were in your sweats, drinking wine, watching romcoms and crying. Not a great sign the night before your wedding. You tried to put everything out of your mind. It got later and later when you heard a knock at the door.

"I knew it. I knew you were going to forget something Kelsey. Did you forget your toothbrush or your herpes medication?" you laughed as you opened the door.

But it wasn't Kelsey, It was Rafael. He looked at you with pure sad eyes and rocked back and forth on his heels.

"Oh my God Rafa, are you drunk right now?" You asked him in pure shock.

"No.. maybe... Can I come in?" He slurred.

You let him come in and flop down on the couch. Your mind was spinning. Probably a lot like the ceiling was to Rafael.

“I don't understand. What are you doing here? You haven't talked to me, you barely said anything to me when you came and got your album signed. You basically act like I don't exist since I said yes to Nathan. So, are you mad at me? And if you are then why the hell are you here right now?” You rambled on, the million questions you had for him over the past few weeks came spilling out of you.

“I’m not mad at you, I'm mad at myself!” He admitted, his head in his hands.

“...What?” You asked, still in shock.

“I know...I know I've waited. I've waited too long.. but every time I try…” He said with his hands still over his face.

“Try to do what?” Tears coming to your eyes

“Every time I've tried to tell you, something has always happened, or my fears have gotten the best of me. or you're dating some prick or getting engaged to some prick,” He huffed when he mentioned Nathan.

“Oh that's really nice Raff,” you rolled your eyes. “Don't blame Nathan for your insecurities,”

“I'm not, I just….” He stopped again, now looking at you.

“You're doing it again, by the way,” you rolled your eyes trying to stay snarky.

“Doing what?” He looked at you in confusion.

“You're chickening out again,'' you said.

“No I'm not!” he angrily yelled, getting up and trying to yell at you but only stumbling and falling into your arms.

“So say what you came here to say, or get out,” You looked at him seriously; you both had tears in your eyes.

“...I'm in love with you Y/N. I always have been, I think I always will be,” He finally said it, after all this time. He was saying the words you had waited for, right here and right now.

“Well.. that's great. I'm glad you finally told me,” You nodded, letting him back down on the couch.

“What…?” Rafael asked, confused. That definitely wasn't the reaction he was expecting.

“I'm glad that you finally had the balls to admit your feelings.” you said more sternly, sucking back your tears.

"Why do I feel that there's a but?" Rafael asked with fear in his voice.

"But...You're too late," You said softly.

"No.. that can't be true. I know that's not true," He jumped up from the couch again only to stumble a bit, but steadied himself on the arm of the couch.

"Why can't it be true, Rafa?!" You yelled. "Because I was so in love with you that I've just been sitting here pining for you all these months, just waiting for you to say something? Like I'm some pathetic puppy?"

"No, but…" Rafael started.

"Because I wasn't, I'm not!" You continued to yell trying to stay angry instead of sad.

"You're right," you sniffed. "You have tried. I know that you've tried. You've had so many chances to tell me this, and every time you've chickened out"

"But if you knew that, then why didn't you say anything…?" Rafael asked while tears were forming in his eyes again.

"Because you're a grown man Rafa!!" You cried, tears now forming against your will. "I can't force you to do anything, I can't force you to want to be with me!!"

"I know that," he replied sadly.

"I went to say something one night at the Supper Club MONTHS ago, but you were kissing that prick...and then Kelsey said that if I really loved you, that I would let you go,"

"....What?" You blinked in disbelief.

"And, and THEN, that night at your party…" He rubbed his head like he was recalling a bad dream.

"Yeah, you mean when you were going to tell me that you loved me, and then just LEFT?" You snapped.

"Are you--" he scoffed with a laugh. "I left because you got fucking ENGAGED, Y/N!!"

"Because you didn't say--"

"I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF SAYING IT!!!" He was suddenly yelling, pissed that you were putting this all on him.

"And then the group interrupted, and then that dickhead PROPOSED, and you said YES!"

"Because you weren't there!"

"Because you said YES!" Rafael wasn't backing down on this.

"If you knew what I was going to say, then don't you think that you could've taken a MINUTE to say “Oh hey Nathan that's really nice but I need to talk to the LOVE OF MY LIFE first before making this LIFE CHANGING DECISION?"

"I…" Your thoughts were racing.

"I hadn't said anything, because I told Kelsey that I wouldn't. And I figured you had moved on! You looked like you had moved on!!!" He continued to explain, but tears were choking his throat.

"I…" This whole time you assumed Rafael would know how you felt because you told him the ONE time. It never crossed your mind that he would just assume you "got over" him.

"And, and THEN...at the party, I thought 'maybe she hasn't...maybe I still have a chance'...and then you said YES!" He was crying now.

"What else was I supposed to think, Y/N? Tell me that, huh?” He looked at you with tears streaming down his face, his voice trembling.

Your head was really spinning now. Fucking KELSEY, how dare she interfere with your life? If she hadn't told Rafael to...and if you hadn't….

"I thought you were in love with that douchebag, and I didn't want to mess with your happiness," He finally ended his rant as he collapsed back onto the couch. The crying and the drunkenness was wiping it out of him.

"...And so what was the other day? Why would you just show up at my signing when you KNEW I couldn't just sit there and 'talk it out' with you--" You continued to interrogate him, you didn’t care how exhausted he was.

"I had this whole thing! I was going to come up to you and when you asked me what to sign I was going to say "sign it I love you too Rafa. And then you would look up and I'd say I LOVE YOU!!!" He explained.

"And..?" You asked flippantly, pointing out the fact that he STILL did not follow through.

"And then I saw that fucking diamond ring on your finger!!!!" He gestured to your ring angrily.

"Oh for fucks sake…" You muttered, about at the end of your rope.

"This is exactly what I'm talking about Rafa." You narrowed your eyes. "You wanna blame Nathan for EVERYTHING, like he 'stole' me from you. But I only met him because YOU left me hanging. AGAIN,"

"...What?"

I was waiting for you at that bar and you once again chickened out coming to see me, so Nathan bought me a drink." You did your best to spin this back on him.

"...That's not true.." he kept going through things in his mind. He knew it was true. He had seen you talking and flirting with him in the window that night.

"Yes it is true. It's like you were pushing me to Nathan trying to get me out of your life, and so I accepted it that way," You really had felt that way.

"You JUST heard why--"

"I DON'T CARE!!!" You screamed.

"I don't care what I did, or what Nathan did, or what Kelsey said. It's EVERYBODY else's fault except for yours isn't it? You should have just TOLD ME, consequences be damned! That's what I did! And you made me pay for it!" You got up in his face, livid that he wasn't owning up to his own cowardice.

"You did this, you got us where we are today and you have to live with it. Now please leave." You walked open and opened the door motioning for Rafael to get out.

"No," He walked towards you as the anger and emotion in him was sobering him up pretty fast.

"No, this is bullshit. You're not going to sit there and accuse me of just 'letting things happen' the way they did. That I didn't fight for you. Because I'm fighting for you RIGHT now,"

"A fight over what, Rafa? There's nothing left to fight for," You rolled your eyes.

I don't believe that," He insisted.

"Why not?!" You asked as a few tears dripped down your cheek.

He reached you at the door and put two hands over your face looking into your eyes with his own green irises.

"Look me in the eyes and tell me you're not still in love with me," He said to you just as you had dared him in his office almost a year ago. The reverse feeling felt almost too cruel.

"No, I'm not, You looked at the ground just as he did before.

"You're lying," he said, mimicking your line.

"Yeah? Well now you know how it feels!"

"I knew it," Rafael said with a smile. He grabbed you, pulled your face into his with a deep, passionate kiss. It was like years of longing and wanting and waiting being released all at once in one perfect kiss. It lasted what seemed like forever, but It was only probably about 30 seconds.

All you kept thinking about was how right this felt, how perfect it was, how it never felt this way with Nathan but... you also thought about what Kelsey said.

Rafael had said multiple times that he didn't love you, and now that he was drunk and had false confidence, here he was proclaiming his love for you. And what would happen when that liquid courage went away in the morning?

"But it doesn't matter,'' you said softly when you pulled away from the kiss. Rafael's eyes went from pure Bliss to instant confusion and sadness.

"What are you talking about?" He asked while his eyes searched yours for an explanation. "That kiss was perfect. You cannot tell me that you did not feel what I just felt in that kiss, you just can't."

"Of course I did, you moron! I've probably loved you longer than you've loved me. I've waited for that kiss for years, since the moment I met you! But you wouldn't let me. You wouldn't let us happen. You broke my heart over and over and over again. It hurts too much to love you! And I won't do it anymore."

"No…" He held onto you tighter. "No, you're not doing this."

"Why? Because you're the only one who knows how to say no? Because you're the only one with the power to hurt someone you supposedly love?” You pushed him away out of your embrace.

“Because everything's about you, and I should just fall into your arms now that you're ready? You couldn't even come over here and do this sober! You're saying all of these things, confessing and promising me things, all while you're drunk off your ass!” You screamed angrily, tears now streaming down your cheeks.

“How am I supposed to believe that tomorrow morning when you realize what you've done you won't immediately take it back like the coward you are?"

"That's not fair…" he whispered.

"It is ABSOLUTELY Fair!! you screeched back. “You have done nothing but get my hopes up and crush them, and hurt me for as long as I can remember, and just because you have a moment of clarity while drinking doesn't undo all of that damage and it won't help once this wears off,"

"It's not going to wear off my end I swear. It hasn't worn off for months, maybe years. I love you I'm in love with you probably more than anything or anyone ever," He grabbed you back in his arms, holding onto you for dear life.

"You know Nathan's a good man." You said softly, pushing him away once again. "He's a good kind man who loves me, who has always loved me and who has always taken every second he can to show me that he loves me,” You crossed your arms so you wouldn’t be tempted to run back into Rafael’s embrace.

“Don't you think that's what I deserve? To be told that I'm loved and I'm beautiful and that I'm wanted?” You asked him softly, all he could do was look back at you with sad eyes.

“...And not that there's ‘too much’ between us, or it’s ‘too complicated’, or excuse after excuse why I'm not good enough for you?" You sniffled.

"I never meant that you weren't good enough for me. I've never meant that,” He tried AGAIN for you, but you stopped him before he got close this time.

"Yeah well that's what it seems like," You said.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry.. I can't say anything else but that. I don't know how else to express to you how sorry I am and I will make up for it the rest of our lives if you let me. I am so sorry that I hurt you and I will never hurt you again." He got down on his knees and clung to you like a child.

"I don't believe you," you whispered.

"What?" He looked up at you in disbelief.

"I don't believe you. You repeated, pulling him off of your legs. "I don't believe that you won't hurt me again, because it's all you do. And all Nathan has done has loved me and made me feel special,"

"But you don't love him,'' Rafael pointed out.

"You don't know that!" You snapped.

"Yes I do!" He shot back.

“How could you possibly know that?”

"Because you have never looked at him the way you look at me!" He exclaimed.

Your face went from upset and sad, to absolute rage after hearing him say that.

"You arrogant, selfish, son of a bitch…" you growled.

"How DARE you say that to me?! How DARE you use my own feelings and how much I loved you against me? Get out," You grabbed his arm and dragged him to the door.

"No look I'm sorry Y/N, but it's true. You don't love him and you're only marrying him to spite me!" He continued to dig himself a hole.

"Well if I wasn't doing it before I sure as hell I'm doing it now. So please do us both a favor and FUCK OFF," You pushed him out and slammed the door behind him. You fell to the ground crying, not knowing if you had done the right thing.

Rafael didn't leave. You could hear him crying through the other side of the door. You sat there for a minute just listening to the both of you cry. You reached for the door handle several times, but every time you reminded yourself of all the times that he hurt you, and that it was his time to hurt.

Finally you stopped hearing him cry. Assuming he left or passed out, You forced yourself to get up and go to bed and forget about it.

-------------

The next day you were in the bridal room getting ready; It was pouring rain outside, it seemed appropriate.

Amanda, Kelsey and Olivia were helping you polish your tiara, ironing your dress, fixing your makeup and all that jazz. Hundreds of fans lined outside the church since someone had leaked where you were getting married. Everything came down to this moment. It was supposed to be the biggest day of your life, and you were terrified.

“You're shaking,” Amanda noticed.

“It's just nerves, you need some champagne'' Kelsey grabbed a champagne flute and shoved it in your hand; you downed it.

“You're doing the right thing,” Kelsey assured you, as if she knew what you were thinking. You looked at Olivia and Amanda.

“And what do you say?” You genuinely asked them both.

“I think that whatever you want to do is the right thing,'' Olivia replied, squeezing her hand. You smiled thankfully, glancing at the door.

------

When it was time, you walked up to Finn who was waiting at the doors of the chapel. He was dressed in a tuxedo with a baby blue tie.

“You look beautiful, baby girl,” he smiled. “Are you ready to do this?”

“Now or never,” You smiled.

The Wedding March began to play as the chapel doors opened. You proceeded to walk down the aisle and looked at everyone watching you. All of your past and present family from the SVU squad was there. Grandpa Kragen and Grandpa Munch, Uncle Brian, Uncle Tucker, etc.

Then you looked at Nathan's family, a bunch of white rich stuffy but welcoming people. You noticed all of the crowds lining outside the windows of the church cheering you on, some crying, some holding signs. Then you looked at Nathan waiting for you at the end of the aisle smiling proudly. He really did love you.

You reached the end of the aisle and took Nathan's hands.

“Dearly beloved, we're gathered here today…”

The Preacher went on through the normal wedding exchanges until he got to your vows.

“Do you Nathan Lee Price, take YN to be your lovely wedded wife, now and forever, through richer and poorer, sickness and health, before and after you both shall live?

“I do,”

“Y/N, do you take Nathan Lee Price to be your lovely wedded husband, now and forever, through richer and poorer, sickness and health, before and after you both shall live?”

You looked to Nathan, then you looked to your side of the wedding, then you looked to his side, you looked to the fans outside again, you looked to the sky, looked to the ground and then you looked back at Nathan.

"I…"

[another-fanfic-haven]

Vivid nightmare

(words: 1247 important note at the end!)

Spring night, almost 10 pm. You're sitting in the backyard on a swing, cup of hot coffee keeping you up and warm... Everybody seemed to forget about your birthday. Bothering is not worth it, you don't want to come out as being pushy.

Someone's pulling over. Maybe it's your neighbor, getting back from work. You close your eyes, lightly pushing yourself on the swing...

You hear someone's footsteps on the driveway, heading to the gate. You noticed two shadowy figures. Well known to you. It's Tabi and Agoti! You knew they tend to call at odd hours, but they never visited you this late at night. Both of them run towards you and you got down just in time to be squished by them. You tried to give them a hug back, well, at least you tried to move your sandwiched arms. - Happy birthday tiny dude! - Agoti pulled you to himself and put his head on top of yours. Usually, you'll try to wiggle your way out, arguing that you aren't this small, he's just a giant, but-- It felt so good this time. - We got you something. - Tabi handed you a pretty big and heavy box. You tried to give it a wiggle, but it's too bulky for you. - What's that? - you eyed the box from every perspective you could achieve. Agoti let you out, so you can check the gift.

You were expecting it to be a glitter-bomb, exploding right in your face, but...

- OH MY-- IT'S-- IS THAT A-- - Yep. - They both answered, taking a sit around the box with huge smiles. For almost two years you were eyeing one, specific jacket. Expensive as hell, a real leather biker jacket with pads on shoulders, elbows, and back, with huge, glow-in-the-dark angel wings. They got you in a gorgeous color combo - black and neon red with white wings. You quickly put the gift on... It's a perfect size. You're stroking your "new" arms, not getting enough of this quality. - It's-- It's perfect. Thank you. - you whispered sobbing the tears of happiness.

You spent the most awesome night, sitting outside until 2 in the morning, laughing, crying.

"What's that? Why's this beeping?"

It's the last day of detention, a day of releasing the album your trio worked on this entire month. Tabi was right last time, this Toyota tried to kill you. It broke down in the middle of a highway. You had just enough time to drive to the emergency lane, brushing against the barrier. You're lucky, though. Just a few scratches and bruises on your neck from the seatbelt.

- Hey guys. - you waved and dropped onto a chair. - Hey he-- -WHAT IS THAT! - Tabi pointed at your neck. - I-- might have had a minor accident. - you brushed your bruises. - A. MINOR. W H A T!? - he screamed at you. - Ey, ey, ey! - Agoti pulled him back. - They're alive, aren't they? Calm down.

- What's going on here! - Solazar stormed into the break room. - Nothin'. Tabi's just gettin' overprotective again. - sighed Agoti. - Why this time? - Solazar, resigned, took a look at the trio, crossing his arms. - Well, "Y/N" had an accident after I told them to get rid of their deathtrap of a car. - Tabi's attitude became protective and anxious at the same time. - I'm fine! Those bruises are just from a belt and the car has just a small dent! - you got up, glancing at your friend. Tabi sighed and looked away biting his cheek. - When you are ready go to the rec room. We have a small party there. - announced Sol, leaving your trio.

"Okay, time to wake up. Wait. Why I can't open my eyes. What's that in my throat? Shit... Stop beeping! It's getting annoying. I have to- damn. My arms are so heavy..."

That's it. You finally moved out of your abusive love home. Finally, on your own rules. You were able to accumulate a small fortune, enough to rent a house and live for few months. You unpacked your possessions and took a tour of your new apartment. It's tiny, but that's enough for you. You relaxed on the couch in the living room. It's all used, but you don't mind that. It was cheap, the landlord seems friendly... you finally can live in peace. You checked the phone. No new messages. Agoti's offline for almost a year now... But Tabi is still on. You texted him and sat back. Soon after you got a phone call... From Tabi. Odd, he hasn't contacted you this way since Agoti's disappearance.

- Tabi? - your voice echoed. No response... What if something happened?! - Tabi! Are you there!? - you screamed into the microphone, ready to get up and go wherever he is. - Yeah... Hey. - you hear him struggling. It's definitely his voice, but-- different. Lower, raspy, throaty. - Dear goodness! Are you okay? - you asked, moving to the edge of that sofa. - Yes, don't worry. - he assured you. - I saw your text. Congratulations. - he added. His tone is changed. Cold. Something really bad happened to him. - Thanks! Want to come over? - you heard a heavy sigh and a long pause. - Tabi? You still there? - I'll come. Later. - he said quickly and hung up. That was... weird. He never acted like that. Maybe he's in a rush, you thought.

It's 9 at night. Someone's banging at your door. Tabi said he will come... maybe it's him?

- Comin! - you rushed to open the door. The figure on the other side... It was Tabi's but... You gasped and froze in place, looking at his head. Tabi sighed, hanging his head.

- Oh my go-- what happened? - you invited him inside.

Wait, what's happening. Why's everything so blurry? No! Tabi! Don't go...

You woke up on the hospital bed, you can't move your limbs at all. Your head feels so stiff. Something is beeping in the background, getting quieter, then louder back and forth. You hear voices, but you are sure you know the words, but can't understand them. It's so disturbing. The world is both slowed and moving so quickly.

Why is someone at your bed? Holding a pillow... You panicked, wanting to scream for help!... but your voice is stuck in the throat.

- Hey! Hey! - you hear someone calling you, shaking you by the shoulder.

You woke up, drenched in sweat, your mouth feeling like a Sahara desert, your heart pounding like you just run a marathon. It was just a nightmare. Vivid nightmare. You're nervously staring at the environment. It's your dark salon, you are in your house. All safe, with your friend by your side. - Oh my god... what a dream. - you rubbed your eyes with the palms. - I heard you screaming. Thought someone broke in. - he said patting your back. - Are you okay? - Ye-- No. I don't know. - you fell on the back piece, still shaken by your nightmare, digesting what just happened. Tabi gave you a glass of water, the bliss of this cold drink in your dry mouth... it was refreshing. He stayed with you until you calmed down and fell back to sleep. This time with no dreams...

--------

A/N: Hello! It's my 100th post, so i really wanted to celebrate that with some... quite lengthy piece! :D

I hope you will like it AND! My askbox is always open. Feel free to comment, send me a message, ask and feel free to reblog! :D

God, I'm terrible at announcements, I really, really hope you all are enjoying my writings so far! Sendin' love down the way!

[duskholland]

Say Goodnight | Harrison Osterfield

Summary ↠ you and Harrison broke up before he left to chase his dreams in Hollywood. With 5,000 miles between you, you’re both struggling to adjust to life without the other; exes to lovers; prompt: “why did you call me at 2 in the morning?”

Warnings ↠ angst with a happy ending, a breakup, one curse word?

Word Count ↠ 2.7k

A/N ↠ I miss Harrison. A lot. And I haven’t written enough for him, so...here ya go! This is definitely inspired by Ariana Grande’s song goodnight n go, which never fails to hit me in the feels (listen to the version from her live album... it’s magic).

This is also my fic for @t-holland2080​‘s writing challenge! Thanks so much for hosting such a fun challenge Sammy - I hope you enjoy this :)

(a repost because tumblr decided to block me out the tags lmao)

You didn’t think it was possible to cry this much.

Harrison’s standing in front of you, glistening tear tracks running down his rosy cheeks. His eyes shift over your face, guiltily running the lines and curves of your cheeks and your forehead, trying desperately to stay away from your eyes, because you both know that seeing the heartbreak reflected in his icy blue gaze will be too much. Your chest hurts and you’re shaking, but you know that everything he’s said is true. You know that breaking up is for the best.

But that doesn’t make it hurt any less.

“I still love you,” Harrison tells you quietly. He rocks back on his feet, his teeth grazing his lower lip before he adds, “I’ll always love you, Y/N. The timing just…”

“The timing isn’t right,” you finish. With shaky hands, you reach up behind your neck and your fingers fiddle with the clasp of the necklace Harrison had draped around you, all those months ago. He makes a small sound of objection as the chain falls heavily into your hands and you hold it out in front of you. “Keep it,” you urge. You finally let yourself meet his eyes, and you try to stay strong as you grab his hand and push the chain into his palm. “So you don’t forget about me whilst you’re off being a movie star.”

Harrison reluctantly pockets the chain, his eyes lingering on the solid curve of the H. “I could never forget about you, Y/N.”

It’s not fair. It’s not fair that the only way Harrison can pursue his dreams is 5,000 miles away, across the Atlantic in America. It’s even more unfair that you can’t go with him because you’re enrolled in university in London. But worst of all, neither of you signed up for a long-distance relationship when you first began dating, and now you’ve had to come to the mutual, heartbreaking decision that breaking up is going to be easier than stringing out a virtual relationship together. It doesn’t matter that you love Harrison more than you’ve ever loved another person, nor that he holds you so closely to his heart that he’s certain you’ve somehow intertwined yourself with his soul: long-distance is too much, and you both think you’ll be too busy to maintain your relationship. Neither of you want to sit by and watch your relationship break down.

So breaking up is simpler, supposedly.

“You should go,” you find yourself saying, swallowing down the lump in your throat. Your hand rests on your front door knob, the cool brass feeling icy against your warm skin. You use your other hand to sweep beneath your cheeks, trying to stop the endless flow of tears from your eyes. “Don’t want you to miss your flight, Haz.”

He runs his hand through his hair, a grimace spread across his face.

“I- Are you sure this is the right choice?” He asks, echoing the words you’ve both been saying for days.

You shrug helplessly. “I don’t know,” you admit. “But I know that I can’t stand here waiting for you to walk away any longer.” You release a deep breath. “Just go, Harrison. Please.”

And he looks like he really wants to stay. His feet twitch, as if he’s about to push his way back into your flat and throw himself down on the sofa like he’s done a thousand times before. But his eyes pass over your tearful, heart stricken face, and he finally sighs, slipping his hands into his back pockets as he manages a weak smile.

“Goodbye, Y/N,” he says softly, his lips curving around the words with ease. The way he says your name so fondly causes the pain in your chest to crack and expand.

“Bye, Harrison.”

And then he turns, slowly, and you watch as he drags his feet down the corridor. Harrison pauses when he reaches the staircase, one hand on the door as he casts his eyes back towards you. Your mouth twitches into a smile instinctively: the sight of his face, his loose blond curls, and his friendly smile never fails to make you feel warmer - even now, as he walks out of your life, taking a piece of your heart with him.

You raise your hand in a final wave, and then Harrison steels himself and walks through the door at the end of the corridor, leaving you standing alone in your doorway, a lump in your throat and a weight hanging so heavily in your heart that you know you won’t be forgetting him any time soon.

[-----]

Life without Harrison is hard.

Before you’d started dating him a year ago, you hadn’t believed love could feel so fulfilling or right. But then you’d stumbled into him at Tom’s birthday party and you’d immediately hit it off, and everything had changed. You think it would be hard not to instantly fall in love with Harrison: he’s charming, witty, and he carries such a bright light in his eyes that he had you hook, line, and sinker within the first ten minutes of your conversation.

As you try to move on, you find Harrison haunting your every move. You open Instagram and you see his posts and stories staring you right in the face, broadcasting his life out in LA with his new friends and castmates, and it stings. When you strike out and find yourself in the pub with Sam, all you can think about is how you used to frequent the place with him, and your eyes find the corner booth you’d used to sit in, your figure usually curled up in Harrison’s lap. You can almost feel the presence of his slender, delicate fingers wrapped around your waist as you gaze longingly at the booth.

And the most frustrating part of it all? Harrison seems fine. He seems completely unbothered, which just serves to twist the knife further into your chest every time your thumb hovers over his contact photo, or you start writing out a lengthy, emotional text. You’ve heard nothing from him, and it makes you question everything you’d thought you’d had together.

Everything changes one Wednesday night, around six weeks after Harrison had left.

You’re woken up by the loud, shrill ringing of your phone. You try to ignore it at first, groaning as you roll over on your side and try to press your head into your pillows, but it just keeps going, and it seems to rattle louder against your skull the longer it prattles on. So, after releasing a stream of your best expletives, you roll over and snatch it off your bedside table, accepting the call before you’ve even had time to check the caller ID.

“Hello?” You croak, clearing your throat immediately as you hear the fatigue hanging heavy in your throat.

“Y/N.”

Suddenly you’re wide awake.

“Harrison?!” You exclaim, sitting bolt upright. You bring your knees to your chest as you pull the duvet around you, trying to hide beneath the warm sheets as if they’ll protect you from the way that hearing his voice unleashes an onslaught of painful emotions. “What’s going on?”

Harrison doesn’t reply for a few moments, but merely the sound of his level, familiar breathing is enough to bring tears to your eyes. You try to push them away as your heart races in your chest, so many emotions flying through your heart that it feels consuming.

“Uh, nothing,” he eventually says softly. “Sorry. It doesn’t matter.”

“Then why did you call me at 2 in the morning?”

The sound of his chuckle is forced, but it’s so lovely to hear him again that you can’t stop yourself from smiling. “Oh, I didn’t realise it was so late,” he says, “‘m sorry, love.”

“It’s okay. I missed your voice.” It slips out before you can really stop it.

“I missed your voice too,” Harrison admits, voice thick. “I miss you so much, Y/N.”

You swallow deeply, running your fingers over the crinkles of your duvet as you think. Your mind runs slowly, clouded with your fatigue and your emotions, and you really don’t know how to take this all, but you know that hearing his voice makes you happy - more happy than you’ve felt in weeks.

“I miss you too,” you mumble down the line. Your fingers ache from how tightly you’re gripping the phone. “How’s LA?”

Harrison chuckles, and you hear a noise in the background as if he’s climbing into a bed. You can almost imagine him: his lanky legs spreading out over the sheets, a low groan slipping past his lips as he stretches out his arms and back. That lazy pink smirk hanging freely from his perfect lips. The image burns into your eyelids.

“LA is mad,” he tells you honestly. “It’s a whole different world over here, Y/N. It’s… It’s exciting, but it’s so different to London. I wish it would all slow down.”

“You’re really busy then?”

He hums lightly. “Yeah. I’m either on-set or doing fittings or rehearsals.”

“Are you having fun?”

Harrison takes a while to ponder your question.

“Yes,” he says, bringing a swell of tears to the front of your eyes. “But I’d be so much happier if you were here too.”

You try to disguise your sniffles, but you’re almost certain he can hear them. “Well… I’m not,” you manage. “I’m glad it’s giving you everything you wanted.”

There’s a very awkward, very thick silence that envelops the line, and it makes you shift uncomfortably in your sheets.

“I should let you sleep,” Harrison says, guilt lacing his words. “I’m sorry for waking you up. I shouldn’t have called you.”

“Oh, okay.” Your free hand clenches into a hard fist as you try to stop your lower lip from wobbling. “Don’t worry about it, Haz. I’m always here if you want someone to talk to.” A small smile flicks out across your lips. “Doesn’t matter what time it is.” I love you - those three unspoken words hang between you. You can feel them, surrounding you, smothering you, and you can almost hear them on the tip of Harrison’s tongue, so you jump in to add, “Goodnight, Harrison,” because you really can’t bear to hear them.

You can feel his reluctance, but you release a deep breath as he says, begrudgingly, “Goodnight, Y/N.”

You hang up quickly, your fingers trembling as you toss the phone down the bed. The blank screen stares at you, taunting you, and you’re overcome with such a strong sense of regret that you almost reach out and call him back. Your body craves him - his soft, melodic voice, his gentle words, his love.

Your phone starts ringing, and you snatch it back up, eyes taking in the image of Harrison’s contact photo as he flashes over the screen. You accept it without a second thought.

“I don’t want to say goodnight yet,” Harrison says immediately, words falling into one another. “I don’t want to stop talking to you, Y/N. Can we please keep talking? Just for a bit.” He pauses, his voice breaking. “I miss you.”

The relieved smile on your face shows no sign of budging. “I don’t wanna say goodnight either, Haz.”

[-----]

It’s a bad habit, but for the entire time Harrison is away, you end up on the phone with him each evening. The first few times had been fairly spontaneous, but soon it becomes a habit: every day, as Harrison finishes filming, he gives you a call and you have a long, rambling conversation. It breaks up your sleep, but you grow so used to it that you start setting an alarm at 1.50am just so you can grab a cup of tea and wake yourself up before he calls.

It’s definitely inadvisable to stay so connected to your ex-boyfriend, but it feels too good to quit. Harrison is your drug, and every time you hang up the phone, you’re left feeling sad and hollow inside. But it eases the pain of having him so far away, and maybe a part of you deludes yourself by reasoning that your calls are helping you get over him: cutting him out completely was too hard, but maybe sharing these phone calls will help you. Eventually he’ll stop calling, and you’ll be able to heal, because you’ll have practised saying goodbye so many times it’ll feel normal.

But Harrison doesn’t stop calling, and you don’t stop answering, and soon enough, he’s been away for six months, and he’s preparing to move back to London, his film complete.

You don’t really know where you stand with him, if you’re being completely honest. He’s still your ex - but you’re still helplessly in love with him, and you’re fairly sure that most exes don’t spend hours on the phone each day, chatting and laughing like you’re still together. You try to bring it up with him, but every time you start the conversation, your heart clenches in your chest and you wimp out.

You ignore the difficult conversation for as long as you can - which lasts until you hear a loud knock on your front door, and you know that it’s him.

It feels almost like a gravitational pull, drawing you back to his figure. You’ve spent all day pacing your flat, fussing over your hair and your outfit, but for the entire time you’ve spent waiting on his flight arriving, you haven’t been sure if you’d be able to open the door and face him. But now you know that he’s here, your heart seems to act of your own accord.

You wrench your door open, and immediately you’re pulled into a tight, crushing hug. It knocks the air out of your lungs and you wheeze as you feel that familiar set of curls brushing up against your neck, and you feel a few tears slip from your eyes as you take it all in. He’s back.

“Haz,” you exclaim, your voice choked with tears. His hands move over your back, clinging to you, drawing you as close as possible as his rich, earthy cologne invades your system. It doesn’t even matter that his jacket has a collection of chilly raindrops clinging to the leather, because it feels so fucking perfect to have him so near you again that you can’t focus on anything other than him.

“I missed you,” he whimpers, as he pulls away from your neck. His large hands fall on your shoulders as he stares at you intently, his focused eyes whipping the air from your lungs. He looks so cute that you can’t really stop yourself from shifting closer and pressing your lips to his. Immediately you relax, and he does too, and he kisses you back softly. Your mouths are tender at first, pressing together softly - testingly - but as you wrap your hands around his waist and bring him closer, it deepens. Your mind spins with dizzy, overwhelming happiness as you revel in the feeling of Harrison, enjoying him utterly, your heart thrumming happily against your ribs.

“I missed you so much,” you mumble against his lips, kissing him between each word. Your fingers drift into his hair, and you smile as he hums in agreement.

“We are so stupid,” he says, drawing a laugh from your lips. “Can’t believe we ever thought breaking up was for the best.” His mouth shifts up to press a lingering kiss to your forehead. “I love you so much, Y/N. Please, can we get back together?” His words are desperate, but they echo the things you’ve been feeling for months, and hearing them is such a relief that you simply have to kiss him again.

“Yes, yes, yes,” you whisper, moving to rest your forehead on his shoulder. Harrison brings you into a warm hug, and you let him hold you as you breathe him in. “I missed you. I love you.” You tilt your head back, meeting his eyes gleefully. “I’m so glad that you’re back.”

Harrison reaches down and pulls a familiar, glinting chain from his pocket. Your gaze softens as you pull away from him and tilt your head, letting him wrap the necklace back around your neck. The H pendant settles gently over your chest, and it feels like coming home.

“Perfect,” he comments, and you’re not sure if he’s talking about you or the necklace, but you’re willing to accept either.

With a warm smile on your face, you move aside and welcome him inside. “D’you want a cup of tea?” You offer.

Harrison steps across the threshold and presses a final, loving kiss to your lips. “There’s nothing I’d like more.”

----

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[lightlia]

And it breaks my heart

Pairing: Dream x reader (irl!Dream x reader) [They/Them] [mentioning Wilbur a bit]

Synopsis: What has gone wrong? Is it the fact that they are pretending to be happy or they’re never meant to be?

Inspired by:  LÉON -  And It Breaks My Heart [stream LÉON music!!]

Words count: 2.6k

[ANGST]

A/N: My first fic on this site, yay! Hope you like it! It could be cringing but bare with me, uwu! Feedbacks are accepted so if you have sth to say, pls do so. I literally didn’t save the damn thing and I had to type it all out again. Fuck me. I didn’t proofread it cuz i’m lazy and tired so enjoy reading this.

♪ Think of days when I was yours

Seems so long ago ♪

Y/N moved in their last stuff into their new home after successfully putting everything in their new place. They looked around the living room before sitting down on the floor. Holding in their am was a box with stuff that they were going to decorate. As they opened the box, it wasn’t the stuff that they would decorate with but a photo album, a sweater and a necklace in it. They held back their tears as they took out the sweater and the necklace and wore them. The sweater wasn’t theirs but it was Clay’s.

“Babe, have you seen my sweater? I can’t find it anywhere.” Clay shouted from their wardrobe, opening each drawer to find his sweater.

Y/N skipped towards their room, “Which sweater? You have like so many sweater.”

“The one with dinosaurs on it. The green--” Clay then turned around to see Y/N was wearing what he described. “--sweater.”

Y/N looked at Clay then down at their clothing. “This one?”

Clay then walked towards them with a grin on his face. “Well, never mind. I’ll find another one to wear. And by the way, you look cute in it. So keep it.”

Y/N was flustered and hid their face in the sweater. Clay wrapped his arms around them and his chin was on their head. “But it would look even better when it’s on the floor along with my clothes.” He smirked, causing Y/N’s cheeks to go red. 

Y/N hit Clay hard with their sweater paws but to him, those hits were like patting. Clay then remembered something and jogged to their bedside drawer and took out a box. He took the necklace out and went back to Y/N. Clay went behind them and put it on for them.

“I saw it when I was out strolling with Nick. He said to pick the one with ‘Daddy’ on it but I’ll buy next time if you want.”

Y/N tiptoed to give Clay a kiss since the man is 6′3. “Thank you, Clay. I love it.” 

♪ Now we're standing in the cold

Nervous when we talk ♪

“Goddamn it! I forgot to bring my umbrella.” Y/N cursed under their breath. They decided to walk through the park but the rain ruined it. They looked up to the sky who decided to rain on the day that they wanted to be away from the loud noises and they wanted peace and quiet before they went back to their workplace tomorrow.

“Should’ve had a roommate so they could pick me up when I call them.” Y/N took shelter under a big tree. Their clothes weren’t helping them shield their head and they were soaking wet from the immediate rain. They hung their head down and kicked the dirt beneath them, cursing the rain.

Then something shielded them from the rain, making them look up to see Clay with his umbrella out over your head. He got wet a bit now that the umbrella was above them. 

“Hey.” Clay opened his mouth.

“Hi.”

Then silence surrounded them both. Y/N shifted around awkwardly to ease the silence around them. 

"How are you?”

“I’m doing great. How about you? Find someone better yet?” Y/N asked back.

♪ Such a sadness in your eyes

And now you're looking down

You try your hardest not to show it

Yeah, I can't hold you, give you hope

'Cause I'm not coming home ♪

Clay then casted his eyes down but Y/N caught the look on his face, sadness. Y/N immediately apologized, “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have asked you that.”

“No, no. It’s fine.” He gave a fake smile to Y/N. “I couldn’t find one and I don’t need one.” He wanted to hug Y/N and asked them to rekindle their relationship but he couldn’t.

“So you’ve been single now for 2 years?”

“Yea. Do you like someone at the moment?”

“Yea, I found someone I like.” Y/N gave him a smile. “But I don’t want to tell him though.” 

“Oh.” 

Clay thought immediately of Wilbur. His initial thought was about Wilbur, probably Y/N liked Wilbur. Of course, they would like him. He was there for them, not physically. But Wilbur would call them to see if they were okay. Wilbur would also talk about Y/N a lot while he was streaming with Clay and others and   told them that Y/N doing fine now, getting the job that they wanted and was in search for a new place to live other than her friends’. Y/N didn’t want to bother them so that’s why Y/N searched for a new place.

But what Clay didn’t know was that it was a lie. They couldn’t tell him that they still need him a bit. However, they moved on because they knew they weren’t  meant to be.

“Let me take you home.” Clay offered and walked out the park with Y/N under his umbrella.

♪ And I wish that I could give you more

When you're leaving me an open door ♪

Clay had been neglecting Y/N a lot lately. They knew about his streaming career and they were very supportive of him. But lately, he had been neglecting Y/N and his food because of his streaming and uploading a YouTube video. Y/N would bring the food up to his office just for him to yell at them for entering his office. He would start missing out on their date nights and the most important ones, the anniversary. He would forget about them and go and hang out with someone Y/N didn’t know. While Clay was having fun with his new friend, Y/N was lying on their bed and crying to sleep. When he was given free times, Clay would be on his phone, typing something. Y/N would peek to see what he was texting but Clay would get up and go to his office, feeling annoyed at their behavior. Clay was never like this so what made him to be like this? 

Then one day, Y/N walked past his office to overhear his conversation with George.

“No, George. You don’t understand. Y/N was never like this. Now they’re annoying. They would ask me whenever I got home like where I went and who I was with. They even brought up Olivia and I told them every time that she’s just a friend but they wouldn’t believe me.”

Feeling annoyed, Clay pushed his hair back and getting frustrated every time he mentioned Y/N.

“Yes, we are happy, George. No. George, you don’t understand. Yes, I know. I’ll talk to them whatever.”

This pushed Y/N to the limit. They tiptoed to the bathroom and just silently cried.

♪ And I wish that I could let you know

How it hurts me, too, that we're moving on ♪

Clay and Y/N walked down a couple blocks then turned the corner, arriving at Y/N’s place. Just as they had arrived, the rain stopped.

“So this is my stop. Thank you for walking me home, Clay.” Y/N smiled and he nodded. “Oh and the rain stopped as well. How convenient.” They looked up to the sky and laughed, making Clay laughed as well.

“No problem. Don’t want you to get sick after all.” 

“Nah, I think I’m gonna get sick cuz I’m soaking wet.” Y/N pointed to Clay. “You’ll get sick too.”

“I’ll be fine.”

Y/N unlocked the door and got in. They were about to invite Clay inside but he held his hand up. 

“It’s fine. I need to get back or Nick’s gonna starve.” Then Clay’s phone went off with someone calling him. He pulled out his phone from his inside of his jacket and he laughed. Clay answered and turned on the loudspeaker.

“Yea?”

“Clay, where are you? I’m starving like I’m gonna die.” Nick shouted into the phone and they giggled at his antics.

“I’ll be there in about 15 minutes.”

“Clay, you’ve been out for about 2 hours and I’m literally gonna--”  Just that, Clay cut off Nick’s nagging and hung up the phone.

“He’ll be furious.” Y/N giggled.

“He’ll be fine. He’s just being too dramatic. I’ve lost a challenge against him and I had to buy his favorite.”

He held up the food package for Y/N to see. 

“You’d better get home quick before he call you again.” Then Clay’s phone rang and they both knew it was definitely from Nick. They laughed once more.

“Alright, I’ll get going then.” Clay said and turned around but stopped to say the last thing. “It was great seeing you again.”

“You too, Clay.” Y/N waved their hand and Clay did the same thing, walking off to the distance.

Y/N watched Clay walking off until he was no longer in their sight. They closed the door and sat down at the door, not worrying about the dirty floor. Clay seemed like he had moved on and got a hold of himself. He was not taking well about the break up at first. So they were happy for Clay that he moved on but they were hurting themselves that they had moved on as well because Clay was everything to them.

♪ Oh, where do love go?

It's right in your hands, then suddenly gone

Oh, no, nobody knows where it disappears

And it breaks my heart ♪

Clay and Y/N sat at their dining table, eating peacefully before Y/N decided to break the silence.

“Clay, we’re not meant to be.” 

“What?” Clay furrowed his brows and moved his hand to place on top of their hand. Y/N shook his hand off and continued talking.

“We’re gotta stop pretending we’re happy when actually we’re not.”

“Baby, what are you talking about?”

“Clay, don’t pretend that you don’t know what I’m talking about. We both know our relationship is dying.”

“Y/N, I don’t understand.” Clay grabbed Y/N’s hand, caressing it.

“You neglected me, you forgot about our date nights and our anniversary just to hang out with Olivia.”

“Baby, I told you many times that we’re just friends.”

As calmly as they could portray, Y/N shook their head and pulled out their phone and slid it to Clay, showing him all the messages Olivia had been texting them.

“No, we’re just friends.” Clay shook his head this time.

“Well, have fun with her. I’ll move out tomorrow. You don’t have to send me off since I’m gonna annoy you.” Y/N got up and walked towards the door.

“Baby.”

“You said I’m annoying so I hope me not being here would no longer make you feel annoyed.” And then they walked out the door to find their friend parked their car outside, waiting for them.

Clay on the other hand, was shocked from the event. He didn’t finish his meal as he hurried to his office and dialed George’s number.

♪ Empty station, 2 AM

See your name on the phone

Sayin', "So good to see you, but it made me really miss you

It's hard to be alone" ♪

Y/N got off the train at 2 am after a night out with their friends at the newly opened bar. The station was empty and quiet, enough for Y/N to concentrate. They were sober as they found an empty seat and sat there, remembering that they had seen Clay at the bar.

Their phone lit up with a notification. Clay’s name was shown on their screen, showing that he has texted them. Y/N opened the text, reading ‘So good to see you, but it made me really miss you. It's hard to be alone.’

Y/N teared up and started to type back. They were about to send long sentences to him but decided against it and just sent ‘It was great seeing you again.’

♪ And if I only could, I'd go back in time

Take back every word, say I've changed my mind

But no, nobody knows where it disappears

(And it breaks my heart) ♪

Clay was there as well with his friends because they didn’t want their friend to be sad anymore. They had seen him sad for the last 4 months after the broke up so they dragged Clay out for a night out. Clay downed all shots into his system and got a bit drunk but he was conscious about his surrounding so when he turned around to look at other people, his eyes saw their figure a couple table from him. He couldn’t avert his focus elsewhere.

Y/N after downed the shots into their system, looked around the table to see Clay looking at them. They too couldn’t tear their eyes away from Clay before hanging their head down. 

Clay wanted to go to their table and just talked to them once again but he knew he would mess up again so he just sat at the table and downed some more shots.

Y/N wanted to talk as well and maybe take back their words and want Clay back into their arms but they didn’t want it to happen again because they had gotten back together before, they had sworn that they would never hurt each other feelings anymore and if they break up again, they would let it go for real.

♪ And you want answers, but I don't have them

Say we were happy, so what happened?

Now you're acting like it's nothing, but it was something

You can't erase me, all the memories, you can't change them ♪

Y/N went back to Clay’s house to get their stuff out. They still got the key of his house and unlocked it. They opened the door and stepped inside. They walked to the stairway and turned to the living room to find Clay sprawling on the couch with booze on the table and their pictures scattered around the living room. He was asleep so Y/N took the opportunity and ran up to their room and organized their stuff.

As they finished packing the last box, a cough blurted out. Y/N didn’t have to turn around to see Clay standing by the door.

“Y/N, I don’t understand. We were so happy together. What went wrong?” Clay uttered.

“I don’t have the answer for that. You can find it yourself.” 

“No, tell me. Why is this happening? I want to know why.”

Y/N sighed before getting up and walking out the door. But Clay grabbed their arm, preventing them from leaving the room.

“Let go, Clay.”

“Y/N, tell me.”

“I can’t tell because I don’t have the answer. Now if you excuse me.” Y/N tried to wiggle their arm out of his grip.

“Y/N!”

“Clay, we’re done.”

“WE ARE NOT!”

“Clay, we fell out of love. You just didn’t realize that yourself. Thanks for the memories, Clay. I don’t think I can’t erase them out of my head and I hope you won’t erase our memories or change anything.” With that, Y/N freed their arm from his grip and walked out their shared bedroom.

Clay dropped to the floor and let his tears flow down. Y/N could hear him sobbing from downstairs and left the house with their stuff.

♪ Oh, where do love go?

It's right in your hands, then suddenly gone

Oh, no, nobody knows where it disappears

And if I only could, I'd go back in time

Take back every word, say I've changed my mind

But no, nobody knows where it disappears

And it breaks my heart ♪

Even though they wanted to get back together.

♪ (But I don't have them)

(And it breaks my heart)

(Say we were happy)

(So what happened?)

(And you want answers)

(But I don't have them)

(Say we were happy)

(So what happened?) ♪

They both knew they weren’t meant to be together.

[moon-stars01]

Riches Or Ruins

S.Coups x Reader

Author:igotstarlight

Summary: Half a year for any relationship is tough, let alone if yours is a secret. A controversey arises between you and Seungcheol, how will your relationship play out?

Pairing:Seungcheol(Svt) x Reader

Gene:Angst,fluff,Little maturity

-Riches Or Ruins-

You paced around your apartment waiting to hear the reassuring jingle of keys unlocking the front door, time seeming to stand still. You’ve been waiting for over an hour for Seungcheol to arrive at your home since you last hung up on him. He kept sending messages, mostly sweet and worried texts, but you could tell he was getting angrier. You went to check the time once again when you heard the doorknob turn. You spun to face an upset Seungcheol, and it took all your power to contain your emotions.

“Why didn’t you answer my messages? I was worried something had happened to you!” He half shouted, realizing this is not the subject the both of you should be discussing at the moment. “Please don’t ignore me if I’m asking where you are. I get nervous, you know this.”

“Sorry, I didn’t think about it,” you answered coldly. You crossed your arms across your chest not knowing where to begin. So you started with food, “There’s dinner on the table. It’s probably cold by now, but I’m sure you know how to use a microwave.”

Seungcheol’s mouth fell open, unused to the tone in your voice. Defeatedly running his fingers through his hair and dropping his bag to the floor, he went towards the kitchen. You stood in the living room, the sounds of dishes clinking together pushing you closer to anger. Knowing that blowing up was just going to make you and the situation worse, you went to your office and started to work on choreography ideas for an upcoming comeback. The time seemed to pass slowly, as it usually did with work, but a glance at the clock told you an hour had passed.

A heavy sigh escaping your chest, you rose to face Seungcheol.

You found him sitting on the couch, face contorted in sadness and frustration, and writing in his journal he kept. Hearing your footsteps he looked up to you, his face filling with hope.

“Y/n, can we talk ab-“

“We’re going to be arguing Seungcheol. Talking is long overdue,” you cut him off, the anger in your voice surprising yourself. You and Seungcheol had been dating for half a year now, and it was going strong until this moment. Your friends reminded you that half a year was the point in relationships where they either broke or prospered. You were fearing for your relationship now. The other guys of Seventeen didn’t seem to think there were any issues or things to make you nervous or worry, but what actions took place at the release party last night told you otherwise.

“Do you think I’m stupid?” you ask, voice cold as ice.

“What? What are you even talking about? Of course I don’t think you’re stupid,” he pleaded, face contorted in confusion. He stood up quickly to get closer to you even though you shied away. “Can you please explain to me what is happening? I’m lost and getting seriously frustrated.”

“How was your release party last night? So much fun you didn’t even want to come home to me?” You knew you sounded clingy and possessive, but you also knew that he went home with someone other than you. He cringed at your accusation, but let you calm down for a minute.

“Y/n, I was a little drunk and the staff wanted me at the dorm with the others. It was a comeback album release party, not out clubbing all over Seoul. I don’t know what you’ve heard, but I didn’t do anything wrong. I went to the party, drank a bit too much, mingled, and went to the dorm with the rest of the guys,” He sighed heavily, trying to contain his emotions. “What did you hear?”

“I heard about Eun Ha, Seungcheol,” you stated. You saw recognition and, what seemed to be regret, flash across his expression. “I know you guys dated before you debuted, but I heard you went back to her hotel with her. I saw photos of you two getting very close. I only know what I heard and what pictures show me, obviously, but the guys haven’t even spoken to me much today. They’re usually raving about the parties or events I don’t go to. Just tell me the truth, Cheol,” your voice cracked in desperation for answers. Your heart felt like it would burst from your chest in anticipation of figuring out where your relationship was going.

He stepped away from you slightly, seeming to register everything you just told him. The only thing you could hear through the silence is the crashing sound of your heart beating in your chest as you waited. After processing what you’ve said, he just looked more frustrated- that gave you hope.

“Well, Eun Ha was at the party last night. She and I did talk for awhile and it was loud, and I’m sure someone snapped a picture of me talking into her ears once or twice. That isn’t a fair accusation, y/n. You know that I have to have that type of close vicinity at those parties; I do it to everyone.,” he stated, totally ignoring to address going back to her hotel room. You tried to focus on what he said rather on what he didn’t say, even if you were anxious.

“Okay, I understand that. That makes sense,” you sighed, feeling some of the weight lift from your heart. Maybe you both would be okay after all. Though you still wanted to know why people honed in on the two to begin with, the photos you saw were sent to you by a caring Seokmin and Seungkwan.

“Well, why weren’t there ever photos taken of us that close and posted online as a rumor of you dating?” you heart sped up again. You did see the article on a popular kpop insider website you followed for other group updates.

“We never acted flirty, babe. Our relationship is literally a secret from everyone except for the other Seventeen members. We were always so conscious about not seeming obvious or giving anyone at the company a hint that we’re an item. So whenever we talked like that at the parties, there was never any flirty body language from either of us. She was definitely flirting with me while we talked, but it was one sided. I swear to you on everything that’s important to me, sweetheart,” he had moved towards you and grabbed your hands while explaining the situation. He was being sincere and honest about that, you saw it in his brown eyes. He kissed you on the forehead and looked back into your eyes. “I promise nothing happened between Eun Ha and I.”

“Did you go back to her room with her?” you asked the blatantly ignored portion of the argument.

“What?” he was taken aback by your question, considering he just told you what happened at the party itself.

“Did you or did you not go to Eun Ha’s room last night after the party?” you choked out nervously, dropping his hands.

“Y/n, she was really drunk… I was worried she wouldn’t make it safely to her room-“

“So, you were in your ex-girlfriends hotel room, both of you drunk, and you want me to believe that nothing happened? Seungcheol, you were in love with her for the longest time, the only reason you broke up is cause of your training and debut. I watched that breakup destroy you, I helped you through that breakup. I can’t believe you think-“ he cut you off angrily.

“I walked her back to her room, she asked me in, I said yes. I gave her water and medicine, told her to go to sleep. We kissed, yes. We kissed a few times. Nothing else happened,” he quickly turned himself in. Your chest felt as if someone had punched the air out of you. You backed away from him, and turned to go to your room.

“You can see yourself out, thank you,” you said quietly. You didn’t want him to see you cry. Didn’t want him to know how badly he ruined all the trust you had built. How much it hurt to know that you worked so hard to hide your relationship from everyone, just to be caught wondering if there were other times this had happened. How many times you were left hanging, and alone, plans ruined because he was either way too busy or too tired. Were those lies too?

“Y/n! Please, can we talk about this. Please… She kissed me!”

“I’m sure she did, and I’m sure as hell you kissed her back too, or did your tongue just happen to fall into her throat?” you spat at him. You were livid now. You spun to face him. “I’m sure she initiated it, she had no idea you were in a relationship. No one could know! But any other kisses after the initial one are on you, Seungcheol! Drunk is not an excuse. Lonely is not an excuse when you fucking had me waiting at home for you! Did you stay with her?” you didn’t care what you sounded like, you wanted answers.

“No, I went to the dorm with the guys. You can call any of them and ask. Call whoever you had babysit me and tell them they aren’t getting paid cause they let me make one fucking mistake in 6 months. I didn’t kiss her back, my tongue was never in her throat. She was really drunk and kept throwing herself at me. I was afraid upsetting her or making her angry would turn her attitude around and make her violent or too upset to even function. There were three quick kisses. She did it once, I said don’t do that. The second I said, ‘Seriously, stop. I’m not interested.’ The third? Well, I said, ‘I’m in a loving relationship right now, and you’re not going to ruin this for me too.’ I left water on the nightstand and left the room and immediately went to Jeonghan. Call him or text him if you want proof,” Seungcheol’s anger faded. He just looked like a sad, beaten-down puppy. “I’ll head out now, I’m sorry I hurt you. That this situation happened. Just know I didn’t cheat on you, please believe that. I don’t give you the attention you deserve to begin with, how could I ever think of doing that to you?” With a final sigh, he grabbed his backpack and left the apartment.

You hoped he didn’t think you were over, that he knew you just needed time to process this all. You needed to call Jeonghan, you needed to calm down.

You grabbed your phone and dialed a reliable friend, Jeonghan. He picked up, thankfully, on the second ring.

“I was expecting a phone call this morning… Hey Y/n,” he said softly.

“Jeonghan, what happened last night? What did Seungcheol go to you about?” you asked quietly, trying not to cry until you knew exactly how to feel.

“Nothing happened, y/n. That’s the weird thing- Seungcheol was just being a nice guy, as he would for anyone, and she thought it was something different. She was really drunk, Y/n. Understand Eun Ha was viciously flirting with Seungcheol, probably for the paparazzi attention, and then when he offered to safely escort her to her room, she must have thought they were going to be something again. You know how he is in a relationship, how he treats his girlfriends, she wanted him back. No one knows about your relationship; Seungcheol was trying to tell her he wasn’t interested, she didn’t care until he told her he was in a relationship. When he came to me after the situation happened, he was in a complete panic,Y/n. He was hyperventilating, near tears, he never wants to hurt you. And remember, he didn’t hurt you, she just didn’t respect him. She’s the issue, not Seungcheol’s loyalty. He didn’t lie to me last night about the incident, I can promise you that,” Jeonghan relayed the information to you. He knew Seungcheol just as well as you did, and if he also could tell Cheol wasn’t lying than you really had nothing to fear.

“Jeonghan, he left my apartment. What if he thinks we’re actually over? What if he won’t let me come back after I blew up at him? He told me he knows he doesn’t always give me what I truly deserve, how he doesn’t always have time to spend with me as a couple rather than a work associate. That sometimes, I’m neglected in that aspect. What if he decides that he doesn’t want this due to that?” You confide in Jeonghan. You really loved that you had the other boys to support you and be there for you. You knew Seokmin and Seungkwan’s intentions with the photos weren’t aggressive or angsty, they were out of worry for you. To warn you what the media was most likely going to post. You had left out that they had defended Seungcheol when they sent the pictures, saying it was Eun Ha’s behavior that was flirty. You had a family here, people you could always rely on no matter what. And you silently thanked whatever heaven’s above for having the in your life.

“Really? You think Cheol automatically thinks it’s over?” Jeonghan asked sarcastically.

“No, but what if it ruins anything?”

“It’s not going to. The second you tell him to come over, he will be there in a second. The second you make up, he will hug you and say how sorry he is. He’s in love with you, Y/n. I know he’s never said it to you before, but we’ve asked him. He’s not walking away that easy, he’s just giving you space. Call him back, he’s probably hanging out in the area waiting to hear from you,” Jeonghan reassured you.

“Thank you Jeonghan, I love you. I’m so happy I have all you boys. I will see you at work tomorrow, be on time this time! Wake up two hours early!” You heard Jeonghan’s rounded laugh through the receiver and then said goodbyes and hung up. You went to your living room’s big window and just stared out of it. It was starting to get cooler; winter was on it’s way. Your heart was happy that maybe your relationship wasn’t doomed, you just had to apologize to Seungcheol. You stole a glance at the kitchen, noting how he had cleaned up everything and put it back where it all belonged, respecting your obsessive-compulsive ways. You dialed his cell phone number, hesitating to press call. Hesitating to find out if this was the end for your relationship.

“Yes, sweetheart?” Seungcheol said softly when he answered.

“Please, come home, Cheol,” your voice broke, tears were threatening to spill from your eyes.

“Open the door, y/n,” he softly instructed. You went to your front door, ear still to your phone as you opened it to a relieved Seungcheol. “Baby,” he whispered softly as you hung up the phone and wrapped your arms around his neck, making you go on your tippy toes.

“I’m so sorry for jumping to conclusions; for yelling. I’m so sorry,” you cried softly. He ran his fingers through your hair, softly consoling you with sweet nothings. He picked you up so you could wrap your legs around his waist and you could hug him more tightly.

“Don’t apologize. I understand what the situation looked like, I don’t blame you for feeling the way you did or for getting upset. I do regret and I’m really fucking sorry for hurting you by saying her and I kissed when it was a one sided thing. I was really angry and upset that you were so upset and not letting me speak. I didn’t anticipate you to assume the worst in me, and it hurt. I tried to get back at you, and it was fucked up. I’m so sorry, I will be better from now on. I will be better for you,” seungkwan confessed. Leaving light kisses on your lips and face as he spoke.

“I’m sorry I assumed the worst, I was hurt and panicked. I love you, Seungcheol. I’ll be better for you, too. I do trust you, I hope you know that. It was just, I was worried that we’ve been together for half a year already, and my friend this is the mark of either a relationship’s end or where it will prosper from. I had that in my head too, and it was a lot of factors. I’m sorry,” You kissed him softly. He returned the kiss with a little more vigor and emphasis.

“As long as you really don’t want to leave me, then I think we’re going to ‘Live long and Prosper’!”

“…Did you just use Star Trek to make up with me?” I asked incredulously.

“Maybe. Did it work?” to answer him, you kissed him roughly.

“Yep, it did. Will you stay with me Cheol?” You smile softly at him in your sincere question. In response to your question, he playfully squeezed your ass since his hands were already there to support your weight.

“Of course I will. You know it is our anniversary tomorrow… Wanna go celebrate early?” He winked at you, kissing you again. You lightly pulled at the hair that was tangled in your fingers.

“For the mature one in this relationship, you sure are dirty,” you smiled, your tone of voice getting flirty. “I guess we can celebrate before we even spend the day together or dinner,” you smile coyly, tugging his shirt to indicate to go to the bedroom.

“Oh, babe, don’t think we aren’t celebrating more than once. There will be a few more celebrations after dinner, too. Maybe even one during?” his voice husky at the suggestion, he still managed to laugh at your shocked expression. He closed your bedroom door behind him and laid you down on the bed, falling on top of you.

“I like multiple celebrations,” you laughed and kissed him.

“I love you,” he kissed you again, deepening it. He stopped his flirty demeanor, sitting up. His face turned serious,” Actually, I’m in love with you. And you need to know that, and know that everything I do, I do for us. For you. I’m not leaving our giving up on us that easy.”

“ I was wondering when you’d say that to me,” you jested lightly. “Choi Seungcheol, I’m in love with you too. I was a mess thinking this might be it for us, but I’m confident in us that we have a long future together,” you kissed him lightly, and started to tease at his mouth. “Now, can I have my first celebration of the night with you?”

He gave you a wicked smile, “You mean the first two celebrations, I’m greedy today.”

You both tumbled into the sheets, bodies becoming one in love.

[laceymorganwrites]

SFW alphabet: Semi

A=Affection

Semi is the kind of guy who always takes care of you. He shows his affection in soft touches, reminding you to bring your jacket, to pack your bag, to eat and drink etc. He doesn´t do this in an obnoxious manner either, it´s not annoying with him, he just wants to make sure you´re taking care of yourself. 

B=Breath

Everything about you takes his breath away. You´re his muse, his drive, his happiness. When you hum one of his songs, he always feels so special and another thing that takes his breath away is every time you take him out on a spontaneous surprise date.

C=Cuddle

He loves cuddling you. His favorite position is when you lay sideways and he can hold your hand, interwining your fingers with each other. He also loves to trace his fingers over your cheek, loves looking at you. Semi thinks you´re the prettiest thing in the world and he loves being close to you.

D=Dream

Semi can´t wait to move in with you, to get a nice apartment or house and spend the rest of his life with you. Somehow the thought of getting all the furniture you need with you, makes him feel all fuzzy and warm inside. He loves dreaming about your future with you, thinking about living with you, waking up with you every day and nothing could make him happier.

E=Effort

He definitely makes a lot of effort in your relationship even though it doesn´t always seem that way. Semi is rather miniscule and doesn´t do over the top things, he´s not one for big gestures but he does the small things that count, like remembering those things you told him that you didn´t think he would.

F=Fear

Doesn´t know how to handle you being scared, he hates it when you feel this way. Always tries his best to calm you down, he will do anything to distract you and never fails to take your fear away even though he´s not too confident in his own abilities to do so.

G=Gifts

He does give you gifts occasionally, he gives you things that remind him of you and things he knows you like and might need. Most importantly though he writes songs and poems for you and he always sketches you.

H=Hugs

Even after graduation he never stopped playing volleyball and working out. Sure it´s not as regularly as it used to be but still, his arms are very strong and hugging you is his favorite. You´re his anchor, when he hugs you, he feels so safe and like he can just let go, like he can be himself and that to him means the world. When he hugs you, he doesn´t have any responsibilities, there´s just you and him.

I=Intimacy

Semi is actually a very intimate person, he loves being close to you. You´re the only thing he looks forward to after a tiring day at work. You quite literally are his happiness and he loves being with you. 

J=Jealous

He´s not the jealous type at all, he trusts you. You two talk a lot and about everything too, so jealousy really isn´t a problem. He trusts you and knows you won´t ever go behind his back with someone. Also he thinks being jealous can become toxic pretty quick, so if he ever should feel this way, he´ll definitely talk to you about it so that yoou two can figure out the reason behind it.

K=Kiss

His kisses are very soft and slow, they feel like falling into the ocean, but the ocean is a nice and warm temperature (wow my descriptive skills rlly are shit lol). Semi also loves taking his time with you whenever he kisses you, will deepen the kiss most of the times, he just can´t help himself. Loves giving you hand kisses, is overall pretty obsessed with your hands, he thinks they´re so pretty.

L=Love

Oh the big l word is scary to him. He´ll take a long time saying it, hell even thinking about it scares him because that means what you have is real. Commitment overall is really scary for him because he´s scared of rejection. All things come to an end and he doesn´t want to think about that. But don´t worry, he´ll say it in his own time, you just have to be patient. Don´t expect to hear those words too often, they hold a very big meaning to him and Semi only ever tells you he loves you when he´s overwhelmed with feelings.

M=Marriage

I don´t think Semi thinks of marriage too much in the beginning of your relationship, but once you reach that point where you just know that you won´t spend your life without the other, he starts thinking about it seriously. He´ll ask you on the couch one night and you discuss the pros and cons rather than him romantically proposing to you. The wedding itself will be small with only your close circle invited.

N=Night out

He takes you backstage to his gigs, goes to fancy bars with you, finds really niche cafes that sell the weirdest food combinations but it kind of works? He also loves night strolls on the weekend with you (when he doesn´t have work in the next morning he doesn´t mind staying up with you since he can´t fall asleep etiher way). I also think he´s a big fan of going to the cinema, but those small ones that show all the indie films.

O=Out of the ordinary

He´ll do everything for you as long as it´s reasonable. Say you´re too tired to get the groceries one day and he´ll do it. He won´t quit work earlier for you though, he also won´t stay up until ungodly hours with you, he sleeps badly enough as it is and he doesn´t want to risk losing his jobs when he´s tired the whole day. 

P=Playful

Well, Semi isn´t really playful in a relationship. Being in love is very serious for him and what you have is something very special. Also he has a very dry humor, so he won´t ever straight up goof around with you. However he´ll crack jokes at the most random times. 

Q=Questions

He´s not a monster, of course he cares about your opinions. He also likes having conversations about politics, the environment and all sorts of other things, like the planning of his next album etc. He really appreciates your help with his music too, he´s so glad to have someone else to help him choose which album cover to choose, which songs to cut etc.

R=Random

Because of his job he can´t really be spontaneous, but he doesn´t like planning dates either excpet when it´s an important one (e.g. your birthday). So usually when he´s free you´re quite spontaneous and just do whatever you feel like in the moment.

S=Sleep

Semi has trouble falling asleep and wakes up at least three times in the middle of the night. With you around it´s easier for him though. Loves holding you in his arms when he sleeps, your presence calms him down immensely.

T=Trust

He trusts you completely even though it took him a long time. It´s not like he ever doubted you, it´s just that he doesn´t trust people overall. He´s the kind of guy to only see the bad in people sadly. But as cheesy as it sounds, you make him believe in the good in people again. 

U=Unique

Semi seems very uncaring as a partner, but he´s really not. He´s the kind of partner that´s very perceptive, he always knows what you need even though you never said it. Sometimes it´s scary how well he knows you. At the same time he acts like it´s not a big deal too, because to him it isn´t. He really isn´t big on romance but he tries his best to give you everything you need and more.

V=Vulnerable

Semi doesn´t like showing his emotions at all, so being vulnerable around you is very hard and will take a long time. Doesn´t cry often and makes sure to be alone when he does. Pushes you away at first, but doesn´t mean any harm. You have to be persistent though and he´ll open up over time. No matter how many times he´s vulnerable around you, he always hates the feeling.

W=Wildcard

He always loses his notebooks and lyrics sheets which sucks because he doodles and writes in them, so you made it a habit to stick the sheets to the fridge or something similar so that he doesn´t lose them anymore. For the lost notebooks you always make sure to search his and your place and when you find them you collect them in a box until you can give them back to him.

X=X-Ray

Semi is quite calm on the outside and will definitely know what to do when you´re injured. He´ll make sure you´re calm too and stay by your side all the time. 

Y=Yuck

He doesn´t like it when his S/O is obnoxiously loud or self centered. He loves it when you get excited about things, he loves it when you share your passions and is always so happy when you do, but something that gets on his nerves is really when you´re arrogant and selfish, only make things about yourself and are just too loud. He doesn´t like overly loud people too much.

Z=Zeal

Semi is passionate in his own way, you can always see the little sparkle in his eyes when it comes to you and his hobbies. He doesn´t express it as vividly as others might, but you can always tell when his lips curl up in that little smile of his which he always tries to suppress.

[atinydise]

Ateez saying something hurtful to their s/o (1/2)

❦ Genre: Angst.

❦ Pairing: OT8.

❦ Word count: Around 2k.

❦ Masterlist.

Part 2

HONGJOONG

Hongjoong had many things to do this week. He was extremely stressed because he cannot compose a good song. For you, of course, all these songs were very good. You always told him that he’s doing well. But maybe a bit too much this time.

You didn’t saw your boyfriend for a whole week. He was busy, composing songs for the new album. Always trying so hard to do his best and impress Eden sunbaenim. As a good girlfriend, you didn’t bother him. Only sent few texts when you went to sleep or woke up. But it was Friday and you really wanted to see your boyfriend. So, after work, you went to KQ Entertainment.

In the hall there was Ateez members except your boyfriend.

“Oh Y/N!” Said Yunho when he saw you at the entrance. “Hi guys! What are you doing?” You asked when you saw them wearing their coat. “We want to try the new restaurant!” Shouted San. “Do you want to come?” You accepted. You were always having a good time with Ateez. “Where is Hongjoong?” You asked, still no sign of your boyfriend. “He’s in the studio. He won’t come with us. Too much work.” Said Seonghwa. You sighed. When this boy will take some time for him? “I’ll go talk to him; we will join you at the restaurant guys!” San & Wooyoung shouted a big “YES”. You smiled, happy to see them. It’s like a big family. “I’ll text you the address Y/N.” Said Yeosang. You thanked him & went to Hongjoong’s studio.

You knocked once. No answer. Maybe the music was too loud. You tried again. Still nothing. You opened the door slowly and saw your boyfriend with his earphones, mumming the lyrics. “Hongjoong.” You called him. He turned back to your figure in the doorframe. Dark bags under his eyes. You sighed. How many hours he slept? “Oh, hi Y/N.” He barely looks at you, focusing again on his computer screen. “The guys and I are going to the new restaurant… you need-…” “Okay have fun there.” “You need to come too. You are working too much.” “I don’t have time for fun, Y/N. I told you I would be busy the whole week.” Hongjoong turned back to you, giving you an annoying stare. “You can just take 2 hours of break; it won’t kill anyone.” As you walked toward him. “I really need to finish these songs. The album will be out the next month, everything needs to be ready.” You sighed, for the second times since you entered the studio. “Hongjoong let’s go eat. It will give you energy at least.” You slowly removed one of his earphones from his ear. “Y/N!” He shouted. “Why do you always need to be behind my back? I’m a grown man! So, go anywhere I’m not for once!” He said harshly. You stepped back, scared. You never saw this look in his eyes. Your eyes became watering, but you refused to cry for this and in front of him. He realized what he said. His mouth was trembling because of the confusion. He stood out from his chair and walked toward you. You blocked him with your hand, adding “Okay I won’t be behind your back again. Have fun composing.” You threw yourself out of this studio. Almost running at KQ’s hall. When your phone started to ring in your pocket. It was a message of Yeosang. “The restaurant is at 32nd Incheon Street!” Wiping a tear of your cheek, you replied “Thank you, but I won’t come. Have a nice meal.” You turned off your phone & walked to your house.

SEONGHWA

Seonghwa was always stressed when Ateez was in a comeback schedule. All the team was stressed but nobody knows why Seonghwa was having such a hard time.

Ateez are preparing for their new full album. It took them a whole month to get all their choreographies perfectly. They were all doing good, as always. Seonghwa, your boyfriend, included. But he was so stressed, he thought he couldn’t do well. The guys and you encouraged him, telling that he was doing a good work, but nothing could change his mind. So, you decided to cheer him and the rest of the members as well. After work, you bought their favorite meals and rushed to KQ building. You were so happy to make this dinner surprise for them. You never saw someone being so happy to eat like Ateez. The sound of the music in the corridor made you leave your thoughts. Wonderland was playing. You’ve listened to it 2 times, but you knew Atinys would love it! You took a look by the little window of the door. Seonghwa was practicing the chorus of Wonderland. Mingi and Yunho were stretching happily as always. Hongjoong was talking to Yeosang and Jongho on the couch. While San and Wooyoung were laying on the floor, visibly exhausted. San saw your face by the window and yelled “Y/N!”. Everyone, except Seonghwa, were looking at you. “I have a surprise for you guys!” said when you entered the room. You show them your hands full of bags. They yelled from happiness and ran to the table like little kids. “Chicken!” Said Yeosang when he saw his favorite brand. “Yes! You need to take a break guys! You are working too much.” While the members were busy picking their food in joy, you noticed that the eldest boy was still practicing his moves. “Seonghwa… Baby. Come eat too. I bought your fav-…” Your boyfriend cut you off straight, “I’m not hungry.” Everyone was looking at him. It wasn’t his habits to talk so coldly and not at you. “You should take some piece of chicken at least.” Not giving up. Yeosang coughed a bit. You knew how precious chicken for him is. “It will give you…” you continued. “Are you deaf Y/N? Or you don’t understand on purpose? Are you stupid?” Since you entered the room it was the first time, he faced you. You kind of wish that he didn’t. Hongjoong tried to say something but Seonghwa added, “We have a comeback in 2 days! Can you stop bothering us with your dishes and let us practice in peace?” He shouted at you. You looked at him sad, angry and confused. But he clearly said his thoughts. You bowed to the guys and exited the room. Hearing Mingi yelling “Yah! Hyung!”.

YUNHO

Sometimes Yunho asked about opinions. Maybe too much because you are used to say him all you think. Bad or good choice. This time he couldn’t handle it.

You are dating Yunho in secret for a year now. Only Ateez members and the staff know about your relationship. It’s too early to reveal it to the world. Yunho’s career could be in danger. Even if it was risky for him, your boyfriend always wanted to hang out with you. At restaurant, at cinema, at park, at mall, … Of course, you don’t mind all these dates. It was exceptional when you know how busy idols are. This time you were near the Han River with Yunho, walking at night. Hands in hands. He has free time and asked you on a date. You were talking about everything. Sometimes, he would push you near the water make you feel like you’re going to fall inside. “Suck a dork”, you thought. You two decided to lay on the grass for few minutes. When you started to talk. “Baby… I think we need to be more cautious.” You played with his long fingers intertwined with yours. “What do you mean Y/N?” You took a light breath, “Ateez are more and more famous. Atinys would definitively recognize you, now.” Your hands started to shake just thinking about him, being bashed in every social media. For sure, the majority of Atiny would be happy for him, but the other part would be another story. Yunho sighed, like always, when you talk about this subject. “I’ve told you that everything will be okay Y/N.” You bite your lips, he was pissed, “But we almost got caught yesterday and we were just walking in the street where no one go.” You added. You felt your boyfriend tense as he detached his hand from yours. “What are you doing? We were having a good time! Are you trying to break up with me?” he stood up from the grass. “Of course, not! I’m just scared. There’s many things we cannot do any more like-…” He cut you harshly, “Like what Y/N?” gripping his head angrily. “I know what I can do and what I cannot do! Stop babying me! You are being annoying!” He turned out and went to the way of Ateez dorm. While you were crying quietly. Everything you wanted was only safety and love. Why he couldn’t understand that.

YEOSANG

Yeosang was really shy when he debuted as an Ateez member. He has less confidence than the other boys. But when you started to date, you gave him more chance to express himself, getting confidence and he was on the good way to be a crackhead. But sometimes, he’s serious and the non-confident him was coming back.

It was a Friday night, as always you were walking to KQ for have some time with Ateez and of course your boyfriend Yeosang. You thought that you will find the boys on the couch taking a break. But when you entered, you saw the manager, hands on hips. The boys were looking at their foot, sad or disappointed. “I hope that you understand what I say, because I will say it only once.” What the heck happened? It’s the first time you saw the manager this mad. “Yes manager-nim.” Said Hongjoong as the leader. The staff left the room, as you bowed to them. Just after they left, San angrily threw his cap on the floor, swearing. Wooyoung went to him, calming his friend. Hongjoong, Seonghwa and Jongho talked about the situation. You walk toward the rest of them, where your boyfriend was. Obviously pissed too. “Hi boys. What’s happening here?” You kissed Yeosang cheek as he hugged you back. “Our performance at MCountdown was terrible.” Started Yunho. “We couldn’t hear well the music even with our earbuds.” Finish Mingi, hands on his face, sitting on the couch. “I’m sure guys that you did your best.” You tried to comfort Mingi, rubbing his back softly. “It wasn’t enough. The manager is really mad at us.” Said Yeosang. “But it’s not your fault. They should manage well when idols are performing.” You smiled. “I’m sure you didn’t heard well cause of Atiny fanchants! It’s getting more louder boys!” you giggled. The members gave you a smile, feeling a bit less depressed. Yeosang was not into it though. “We were not professional, that’s all.” Said your boyfriend angrily. “And what? Humans made mistake. You are not an alien Yeosang-ie.” You chuckled at him, thinking about him being a green alien. “Why do you always need to be funny? Can you be serious sometimes? You need to grow up!” Shouted Yeosang at you. You stopped laughing with Mingi instantly. “I-I just wanted to be nice to you.” “I don’t need you to be nice! I want you to be serious or leave! We need to practice.” As he faced the mirror. Mingi were looking at you, being sorry. You know Yeosang was mad and his self-confidence was gone. But his words hurt you. A lot. You decided to leave, taking back your stuff before slamming the door of their practice room.

Part 2

[btsbaereacts]

Namjoon Soulmate AU: Dreams

Namjoon Soulmate AU: The man you’ve been dreaming of is the kindest person you’ve ever met. When you realize who he is, you start to lose hope that you’ll ever meet him.

. Master List . Synopsis Page . Jin . Yoongi . Jungkook . J-Hope . Taehyung . Jimin .

Soulmate Link: Dreams

Word count: 1.6k

A/N: Honestly, this was a weird one for me to write. Not that I don’t love it, I just struggled with getting it going I think. I’m in grad school, and I have a ton to do today, but I really wanted to get this out to you. LMK if you want a part 2, because I feel like it’s really unfinished....

*not my gif*

The night of your 17th birthday, you were too excited to fall asleep. You couldn’t wait to meet your soulmate. Finally, at 2am you managed to fall asleep. 

Soon enough, you woke up. Instantly disapointed that nothing had happened in your sleep, you started getting ready for school. 

“Here’s your breakfast,” you mom said pushing a bowl of oatmeal towards you. You mumbled a ‘thank you’ before digging in. “How did you sleep?” 

You knew what she meant. On your 17th birthday, you and your soulmate were officially linked. You would be able to talk to them in your dreams, and as you got closer to meeting them, the connection would grow stronger and stronger. Eventually, you would be able to see them, then finally be able to touch them. “Nothing happened,” you didn’t want to cry, but you couldn’t believe it.

“Oh, honey,” your mom touched your shoulder softly, “this happens sometimes.” 

She explained that in cases where you were older than your soulmate, that you wouldn’t be able to hear them until they also turned 17. She also mentioned that your soulmate needed to be asleep too for the link to work. 

The first 6 months after you turned 17 were extremely disapointing. You still hadn’t heard your soulmate, and it was miserable. Not only did you feel bad for yourself, but all of your friends and teachers had also heard. 

~~ 

“Hello?” You heard someone ask softly.

“Yes? Yes! Wait can you hear me?” You walked around the dream, praying it was real.

“Yeah, hi. Are you my soulmate?” The voice asked. It sounded hopeful and calm.

“I guess so,” you smiled to yourself, knowing they wouldn’t be able to see you.

“Wow, did you just turn 17 then? I’ve been waiting for so long.” 

“No,” you replied, a bit confused, “I’m nearly 18 now.”

“Oh,” the voice mumbled, “why couldn’t I hear your before?” 

“I’m not sure…” 

After a few months of occasionally being able to talk to your soulmate, you had figured out that it was not a connection problem, but a timezone problem. You weren’t close enough to them yet to be able to talk about yourselves personally, but you had guessed that they must live somewhere where your sleeping and theirs almost never matched. You had begun napping more often just to talk to them.

~~

You were nearly 23 years old, and you could clearly hear your soulmate's voice. His voice, and especially his laugh, made you smile as soon as you heard him in each dream. As time went on, you started to be able to make out an outline of him. 

The first day you saw him, and really saw him, you were shocked at how handsome he was. He was tall, with light hair, and dimples that you couldn’t stop looking at. Instantly though, you knew you had seen him before. Maybe he just looked familiar, but deep down, you knew him. 

“Lila,” you asked your younger sister, “what’s that band you’re always listening to? The Korean one?”

“Oh, BTS!” She smiled.

“Do you have pictures of them?” 

“Obviously, let me show you,” she said, pulling out her phone and scrolling through what looked like hundreds of pictures of the boys. You gasped, seeing his face again. 

“Lila, you’re like my best friend. And I don’t want you to freak out, but I have to tell someone.”

“What, Y/N, you’re scaring me?” You knew you shouldn’t tell her, but she was only 3 years younger than you and basically your favorite person in the world.

“He’s my soulmate. I finally saw him last night.” You pointed at Namjoon.

“Namjoon is your soulmate? WHAT!” She tackled you. “Oh my god, this is so cool, I’m so excited!”

“I don’t think it’s going to work out.” You said. 

“Y/N, don’t think like that. Does he want it to work? Talk to him, I’m sure you guys will be able to figure it out.”

~~ 

“Y/N,” Namjoon called to you.

“Hi,” you smiled. You wanted to bring this up with him, but you didn’t know how. “I know who you are.”

“Oh, you figured it out,” he said, bringing his hand to the back of his neck.

“My younger sister is obsessed with you guys, and I knew I recognized you.” 

“And you?” He looked at you hopefully.

“I’ve only really listened to your music when I’m with her honestly.” You mentally facepalmed, thinking you should have at least listened to 1 of his songs.

“Oh yeah,” he laughed awkwardly, “that’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”

 “So, I don’t know how this is going to work.” You didn’t want to sound so pessimistic, but honestly, he was a superstar.

“If we can see each other, it means we’re closer to meeting. Don’t give up yet; not before we get to meet.” You couldn’t bear to look at him, but you could hear the sadness in his voice. 

“How can we meet? We live so far apart.”

“We’re going on a world tour in a few weeks, come to a show?”

“I didn’t get tickets.”

“I can get you tickets.” He reassured you. You felt yourself stir, and quickly said goodbye before waking up.

~~

Waking up one morning, you received an email. Inside, were two tickets to the BTS concert. You and Namjoon were finally able to exchange contact information in your dreams. It definitely meant that you would end up going to his concert and meeting him. 

The day of the concert came quickly, and you and Lila were ready. You had picked out your outfits, your hairstyles, makeup, and you had rehearsed meeting Namjoon in person in your head hundreds of times. He had explained in a dream that you would go to the fanmeet after the concert to meet him. He told you to go last in line, so that you could have more time to talk to him. He wasn’t the first in the group to find his soulmate, but he was the only one who had a foreign soulmate. The other boys could just find their soulmates in Korea without creating all of these plans to meet. 

~~

The concert was amazing. You knew it would be, but you couldn’t help but marvel at all of the talent. Namjoon was especially talented, you thought. The way he smiled and laughed at the other boys while they ran around the stage made you smile. You couldn’t help but wonder if he was thinking about you in the audience. You knew that he was busy, so there was no way. The boys were clearly joking about something, but without knowing any Korean, you didn’t think anything of it.

“Sorry ARMY, Namjoon is afraid to look at the left side of the stage,” Jungkook laughed into his microphone. 

Instantly everyone began screaming, asking him why. “Oh haha,” Namjoon laughed awkwardly. “I have a friend watching.”

You felt your cheeks heat up. “That’s you,” Lila shoved against you. You couldn’t look at the stage. You didn’t want this to be the first time you really saw each other. 

After the concert, you dragged Lila to the back of the fanmeet line. She whined a little bit about having to wait so long, but she understood. After over an hour of waiting, you could start to see the boys. Your heart sped up. There he was, looking as perfect as ever.

“Hi, I’m Lila!” She nearly yelled at V and Jungkook, the first boys at the table. They smiled, quickly autographing her album, sighing that you were the last ones in line. 

“Hi, I’m Y/N.” You didn’t have a copy of their album to sign, so you just sort of awkwardly nodded at them.

“Oh. OH.” V’s eyes went wide looking at you. “Namjoon!” 

Namjoon slowly looked over from the album he was signing to see you standing at the end of the table. You saw his face light up, and you couldn’t help but blush. The other boys hurried the last of the fans out of the room, and before you could say anything, Namjoon was running around the table and throwing himself into you. 

“Aw, I got a picture!” Lila squealed in the background.

“Wow, you’re so beautiful.” Namjoon said, looking deep into your eyes. 

“I can’t believe this,” you whispered to him. You were afraid to let go of his hands, like he might walk away and never come back. 

“Let me introduce you,” he said, pulling you towards the other boys. Lila had clearly already found a new group of friends in them as they talked animatedly. “This is Y/N, my soulmate.” Namjoon said with the biggest smile on his face. 

~~

After the world tour was finished, you couldn’t wait to be able to have more time to Facetime your boyfriend. You still lived at home, while he would be going back to Korea. You hadn’t talked much about the future, but you knew it needed to come up eventually. 

“Y/N, I miss you so much.” He breathed into the phone. You could hear how exhausted he was, but knew that he couldn’t go a day without talking to you, even just for 5 minutes. 

“I miss you, too. You know, now that the tour is ending, we should probably figure out what we’re going to do.” 

“Yeah, do you want to come to Korea? I know you can’t just move here, but just for a vacation? We can talk in person and figure it out. I can get you and Lila airfare.” He mentioned. You loved how understanding he was. You didn’t not want to be with him, but you knew that picking up and moving to Korea was a huge change. You didn’t speak any Korean, you wouldn’t be able to get a job there, and you didn’t know anyone else. 

“Yeah, that would be fun. Obviously, Lila will be excited.” You laughed. You hoped that you could figure everything out in person once you landed.

Tag list (open): @mizz-kraziii @cmxo03 @kaepjjang365

[virsamin]

Headcanons of MC being caught masturbating and shouting their name?

I had way too much fun writing this-

Their Reaction to Catching MC Masturbating and Crying Out Their Name:

Victor:

The company had been stressing him out lately. Work had piled up while he was gone a business trip.

MC would come to see him from time to time in his office, each encounter leaving him breathless and wanting more. 

Yet, he refused to worship her body that way in such circumstances. He wanted to love her properly in the comfort of his or her home, but time did not allow that. (The irony-)

He had finally gotten out of work on time for once. He had all of these emotions pent up inside and the only person who could release it from him was his little idiot. 

He pulled up at MC's apartment and took out the shibu-inu customized key she had given him.

He locked the door behind him and threw his long coat on her leather sofa and made his way to her room.

The door was slightly ajar, and soft moans and pants were spilling from it.

"Victor!"

His eyes widened as he saw her back arc off the bed beautifully, her hair falling behind her with a hand between her trembling thighs. 

She'd finally relax, still breathing a little hard when a light chuckle reverberated in the otherwise silent room.

He stared at her, shoulder leaning against the wall, arms crossed as a smirk plastered itself on his lips.

"Couldn't wait for me, MC?"

Kiro:

He was on tour, promoting his new album. It would be a while before he'd finally see his Miss. Chips again. 

They'd call often: when he was on his lunch break, right before his shower, and usually before bed. 

This time though, it was right before a show. He'd texted MC the outfit that they'd dressed him in and she had to call to voice her enthusiasm. 

He sat on the floor of the dressing room closet, phone in hand, as he rambled on about his day to her.

His voice was low and quiet, like the soft whispers he'd say into MC's hair while they cuddled, or the way he'd ask for her confirmation when they'd make love.  

His whispers and those sharp collarbones that were slightly revealed under the cut of his shirt were just too much for MC and she found her free hand traveling to the growing wetness between her thighs. 

She continued to play with herself as he spoke, excusing her soft sighs as a demeanor of being tired.

“K-Kiro!” 

She couldn’t help the name that fell from her mouth and a slight blush rose to her cheeks.

His thoughts clicked in his head as he recognized the cry and a presumptuous smile spread across his face. 

He continued speaking to her, this time telling her how much he missed her and the way she throbbed around his cock. His rambling turned into the dirty talk she loved so much in an attempt to help her climb to her release. 

"MC, you should have told me you needed some help."

There would definitely be a repeat performance after his show.

Lucien:

It was late, or should he say early within the day as it was well past midnight. The sky lacked its stars as a tired professor walked along the streets, making his way to his empty apartment. 

He was exhausted. He hadn't slept well in a while, three days to be exact, and he yearned the comfort of his soft bed. 

Lucien sat on his couch running over his files once more before bed. He'd sigh, throwing it to the side before freezing when he heard a soft "Lucien..."

He waited again, thinking he'd misheard before she repeated it again, but louder.

"Lucien, please!"

He hastily made his way to the wall that separated the two rooms and pressed his ear to it, making sure he was hearing her right.

She moaned loudly, panting heavily as she called out his name, again and again, trying to reach her climax.

Heat would rush to the bulge that was now forming in his pants. He'd close his eyes as he pulled out his hard cock, imagining MC small hands grasping his length and pumping him. 

Her moans would make it so much more real as the two of them sat in adjacent rooms, pleasuring themselves with the thoughts of the other.

His name would fall from her lips faster and louder as she reached her peak.

After they both came, she'd lay on her bed exhausted and sleepy while he slid to the floor with a soft smile plastered onto his face. 

He'd make sure to bump into her 'accidentally' as she was leaving her apartment the next day.

"MC, are you alright? You seem a little tired."

"Actually... I couldn't sleep too well last night"

"Hmm...? You should have called me over, I could have helped you."

(He'd definitely have that cheeky smile of his on)

Gavin:

He had finally been given the chance to come home. 

Day after day, he'd get to one sight and then another, working hitting up his schedule relentlessly. 

Each day spent without the other passed agonizingly slow, and all he yearned for was to see that beloved girl's smile and hear her beautiful voice.

They'd share phone calls late at night and a couple of sparse text messages, but he couldn't afford any more than that. 

When he had found out he was able to go home early, he kept it to himself, wanting to surprise his lovely MC.

He brought her favorite flowers and food in preparation for a special night. 

He walked in the apartment that they shared and faltered at the sound of a whimper. 

Quietly setting his things down, he'd tense and make his way to the sound. 

His actions were rushed as he heard a "Gavin!" from behind their bedroom door.

He pushed the door open so fast that it slammed the wall behind it, MC's head shooting up in the process.

He'd prepared himself to see MC in some sort of danger when she screamed his name, not half-naked and heavy-lidded under the sheets of their shared bed. 

He'd be EXTREMELY flustered, looking away as he blushed and apologized profusely.

Her cheeks were also pink as she took the courage to push off the covers and walk to him, offering to take care of the hardening length inside his pants. 

(rip stuff he left on the counter)

A/N: I was wondering if any of you guys were interested in reading some of the drabbles I've written. Some of them are smutty, most are fluffy. Then there's a couple of angsty ones that hurt too much to make into a whole fic so- let me know.

[kpophours]

a very necessary guide to SF9

so. let’s talk about these underrated kings. be prepared for rambling. I just love them too much. my favorite boys, 10/10 would recommend stanning them.

some basic information

9 members (5 vocals, 4 rappers, 9 dancers and 9 visuals just stating the facts)

SF9 stands for Sensational Feeling 9

debuted on October 5, 2016 with Fanfare (still a BOP)

currently under FNC Entertainment and actually their first male dance group

their official fandom name is Fantasy (such a good name, honestly) and the official color is Fantasia Hologram (aka the  p r e t t i e s t).

debuted after winning a survival show called Dance or Band (they participated as the dance team; the band team debuted as Honeyst in 2017)

7 mini albums so far with RPM being their latest comeback 

... now onto the members (buckle up)!

Youngbin

Kim Youngbin, born on November 23, 1993

LeaderBin aka the Dad™

very charismatic, be prepared for some really intense eye contact (two words: stage presence)

rapper (highest rapping voice out of the four of them)

D A N C E R (a former 1MILLION dance studio trainee), so he‘s obviously 1/3 of sf9′s extremely talented dance line

also 1/3 of hyung line

cutest eye-smile (so soft) + cutest giggle™

rocked his red hair and looks amazing with slightly curled hair (do not fight me on this)

is tattooed (very  p r e t t y)

threatens everyone’s bias at least once

gives amazing (and unnecessary long) pep talks together with Jaeyoon (just let the other boys sleep, please)

gazes so, so fondly at all his members in pretty much every video (no, I will NOT cry)

Jaeyoon is his roommate and secret wife.

Inseong

Kim Inseong, born on July 12, 1993

the oldest (not mentally) aka the Grandpa™

main vocal (those HIGH NOTES, damn). extremely steady voice.

unique beauty. looks a bit like a desert fox (according to himself and everyone with a pair of functioning eyes).

1/3 of extra line (see and hear three loud idiots in all their videos? yep, that’s him ft. Jaeyoon and Dawon)

also 2/3 of hyung line

v e r y intelligent and educated (holds a degree in Journalism and Communication) but also stupid

owner of an extremely cute smile 

t h i g h s  i am not weak or biased at all

SF9’s designated English speaker (used to live in London for a year)

amazing winking-ability, 10/10 will leave you weak-kneed

King of Lies. he’ll probably never pass a lie detector test. but it’s okay we still love him.

is left-handed and really good at drawing

married to Jaeyoon (it‘s complicated).

Jaeyoon

Lee Jaeyoon, born on August 9, 1994

3/3 of hyung line

honey voice (aka OST King)

d i m p l e s.

blindingly white teeth. the most beautiful smile (canines!).

very proud of his hips and butt (as he should be).

his actual name is Ethan

likes to work out and is  f i t (he ended all Fantasies during rpm promotions, so thanks for that)

King of girl group dances and in charge of sexy (Zumba) dances

a  fuc ki ng  tease (again, rip all Fantasies during the UNIXERSE rpm stage)

2/3 of extra line (shares one brain cell with Inseong and Dawon. they don’t use it very often.)

had a pink undercut during the Mamma Mia era and probably made people cry with his outstanding beauty. again, i’m not biased at all

seems a bit shy and quiet at first. don’t be fooled. he is loud and will come for you.

married to both Inseong and Youngbin.

Dawon

Lee Sanghyuk, born on July 24, 1995

oh boy... such a bundle of utter chaos.

e x t r a (3/3 of extra line and probably their President™)

hear something loud and annoying in the background? it’s probably (most definitely) Dawon (helped by the other 2/3 of extra line)

a unique and beautiful voice (he needs more lines or else I’ll throw hands) - rapping, singing, screaming, he can do it all.

a fucking tease 2.0 (seriously, he and Jaeyoon need to be stopped)

Bruce Lee impressions on point

has tattoos

such a meme-face but also so handsome, like H O W

looks amazing and so soft with curly hair must protect

had so many different hair styles during their Mamma Mia promotions, rip his hair (and rip to all new Fantasies trying to keep track lol)

actually very soft. cried when Inseong surprised them during their UNIXERSE concert (which our Grandpa couldn’t participate in due to an injury)

likes to bully Taeyang.

Zuho

Baek Juho, born on July 4, 1996

Mr. Deep Ass Voice™

“my nose is my swag“

such a good dancer, definitely underappreciated. 

looks intimidating at first, but is actually the softest (d u a l i t y)

the best cat dad (Huru has yet to accept his undying love for him though)

composes/produces own songs (@FNC: please, I’m b e g g i n g you to finally put Champagne on an album) and writes lyrics for a lot of sf9′s songs

didn‘t participate in most of their Enough promotions due to his (still ongoing) back problems (#FNCletZuhoRestChallenge2019)

a dork and meme and honestly just so, so cute and lovable

social butterfly (seriously, he‘s friends with literally e v e r y idol out there)

composed a (love) letter to Fantasy while driving a car with Hwiyoung, Taeyang and Dawon sleeping in the passenger and backseat yes I cried

a scaredy cat (ran away and left his members behind when he got scared by a staff member during their Trip with Fantasy)

Rowoon

Kim Seokwoo, born on August 7, 1996

yes he‘s a Tree™. is made up of 90% unnecessary long legs.

main vocal 2.0

1/2 of actor line

very handsome, I know (but he‘s so much more than just his good looks)

a devoted mom of 8

loves all Chanis and not-Chanis equally

almost had a mental breakdown because he managed to hit Chani’s face with a football which resulted in his precious maknae getting a nosebleed

always hugging and kissing and generally just smothering all members with his endless love and affection (especially Chani)

(t) h o t  and knows it (very shy with fanboys though)

has literally only one selfie angle he uses rigorously  

his One True Talent™ is staring sexily into the camera and doing nothing else because yes, he’s just that handsome

tries to be funny and fails most of the time, but he‘s cute so it’s okay.

Taeyang

Yoo Taeyang, born on February 28, 1997

undercover main vocal (has almost as many lines as Inseong and Rowoon)

best dancer, period. his entire body is probably made out of water. such. fluid. moves. - 2/3 of dance line, often in charge of choreographies.

also 1/3 of maknae line

speaks in ᵀᴵᴺʸ ᶠᴼᴺᵀ 

the literal Sun™, his smile has healing properties.

has great hair and pushes it back a lot during his dance moves

a flower boy (literally. wanted to become a florist before debuting as an idol)

looks a bit like Lee Dongwook aka The Reaper from Goblin

you think he‘s soft? uh, sure, yeah. but is also s a v a g e (the personification of that then perish meme)

has a... unique way of drying his hair (ask Dawon, he‘ll show you. even if you don’t want him to, Dawon will show you)

gets bullied by Dawon. bullies him back. very spot-on impressions of Mr. Extraness (as seen on their Weekly Idol episode)

soulmates and married to Hwiyoung, I don’t make the rules.

Hwiyoung

Kim Youngkyun, born May 11, 1999

rapper and Mr. Charismatic™

yes he is that guy from their Now or Never mv 

looks bad-ass but is a certified baby boy (2/3 of maknae line)

cute without trying and is actually a cat

has literally the best gummy smile which he used to hide behind his hands (but his hyungs encouraged him so much and now he smiles openly, I am not crying, you are)

grew up so suddenly and had long hair out of nowhere and left everyone sh o ok (should definitely be in a shampoo commercial)

composes songs. put one on SoundCloud just very recently. writes lyrics for a lot of sf9′s songs.

cried during their survival show when he got scolded for continuing to mess up the choreography and had to be hugged by Youngbin (who really is the best dad™)

King of the Cleopatra game thanks to his dolphin screams should probably be part of vocal line

pretended to not recognize his soulmate and roommate aka Taeyang when he had to guess his members from their hands while wearing a blindfold. Taeyang will probably never recover from this betrayal and is most definitely still whining about it.

Chani

Kang Chanhee, born on January 17, 2000

deep ass voice 2.0

d a n c e r (his little solo dance in Now or Never will forever be superior), 3/3 of dance line

Evil Maknae™ (3/3 of maknae line)

2/2 of actor line (yes he‘s that boy from Sky Castle)

speaks fluent duck

Taemin‘s Nº fanboy (literally knows his blood type, like... wow okay)

can‘t remember any of the members birthdays (he actually thought Youngbin was born in August when his birthday is literally in the middle of Winter. Leaderbin was hurt).

always looks like a smol bean, but everyone else is just ridiculously tall

had bright orange hair once only for about one second though lol

constantly smothered with love and hugs from Rowoon and pretends to hates it

has all his hyungs wrapped around his finger and knows it (they‘re all whipped for him, especially when he’s doing aegyo)

has a lot of hair aka (my favorite) coconut head (#freehisforehead2019)

looks expressionless and tired 24/7 (a whole mood and true gen z)

some videos to watch

all of their mv’s of course

literally every comeback stage

the suit versions of Now or Never and RPM

the ghost prank/horror version of Now or Never (I cried laughing) 

this really cute Dingo Music version of Enough 

basically all their dance practices, but especially K.O. (we all know they should have gone viral with that choreography)

their adorable pajama version of Different

them performing RPM on a treadmill (Chani is a mood™ and Inseong’s grandpa waddle is so cute)

these stunning acoustic versions of their songs brought to you by 2/3 of extra line + The Tree™

their kcon New York 2019 performance (+ their cover of Love Shot)

their reality show Trip with Fantasy 

them dancing to O Sole Mio ft. Ostriches

their episodes on Weekly Idol and Idol Room

their girl group cover dance battle on Weekly Idol (ft. Cross Gene)

Rowoon and Inseong on Masked Singer

Dawon on Weekly Idol as part of the Masked Idol segment

the Now or Never choreography ft. dance line and the 1MILLION dance crew

them covering BTS’ Boy in Luv + EXO’s Call Me Baby

the Idol Dance Cover Challenge of Love Shot (ft. Astro, The Boyz and CIX)

this interview (I mean, that title alone... lol)

those are just a few of my favorite videos - there’s so much more content out there, so you’ll definitely never starve, lol.

I could literally ramble on about these nine incredible men for hours on end. 

But this will be the end of my guide (it’s long enough already, lol).

Stan SF9 for (clear skin and good grades) nine hard-working and so, so talented individuals with amazing voices, incredible dance moves, outstanding visuals, chaotic energies and a lot of meme-worthiness.

You won’t regret it, I promise.

(Don’t worry, Rowoon(’s face) is okay).

[masterlist] | [requests] 

[primal-screamer-blog1]

smut prompt request for @bowiesixx 64. “I’m gonna fuck you so hard, you’ll forget you ever met that asshole.” featuring Nikki Sixx A/N: This ended up being way longer than I ever intended it to be. I really only ever mean to write one scene but some of these prompts are really open for development and I like story as much as I like smut! Hope you enjoy. Warnings: 18+, smut, break ups, misogynist slurs links: smut prompts fluff/angst prompts masterlist requests open for guns n’ roses, motley crue

You were crying again. Collapsed on the couch, you couldn’t even feel truly sad anymore; not about him anyway. You knew you’d lost your boyfriend - ex boyfriend, you corrected yourself - long before he cheated on you. It just hurt to finally admit defeat after being together for so long. You’d seen it coming; there were plenty of arguments and plenty of emotional distance for both of you to catch on that things between you weren’t working. But you never wanted to just give up, not without a fair fight at least. Apparently he did. It’d been a month since you broke up and though you’d gotten used to the idea of being without him, it was the long nights alone that left you feeling broken. You’d worked for so much; had an apartment together, a dog, a future. And just like that, it was all gone. No, you couldn’t feel sad. As far as sadness went, you’d already processed those emotions several times over to feel it become dulled. But you did feel displaced. You were staying with Nikki while you were between places. You didn’t want to ask, but he wouldn’t take no for an answer. After the success of their last album, he’d bought a place of his own and it was nothing short of massive. “Of course you’re gonna stay with me while you look for a place.” He told you when you first mentioned you were moving out. “Nikki, I can’t impose on you.” “Impose? Please, I want to help. Besides, it’s not like I don’t owe you.” He referred to years ago, before the money and the fame. Before Motley Crue even started, you let Nikki stay on your couch often when he had nowhere to live. You gave him a weak shrug, unable to figure out how to thank him, too emotionally exhausted to begin to try. “Do you really insist?” “I do.” He smiled warmly at you.  “There are like eleven rooms. You’re not putting me out at all.” When he got back from the club tonight, however, and you were crying on the couch for the third time that week, he couldn’t help but feel frustrated. Not with you, never with you, but he couldn’t stand to see you so broken down. For as long as he’d known you, he knew you to be assertive and strong willed. He always thought you were far too good for your ex, but in the past couple months he’d become unable to stand him. When the fights first started getting really bad, it was almost nightly that you were crying on Nikki’s shoulder, lamenting some horrible thing your boyfriend said. Nikki was disgusted at the things he would call you, hearing you recount cruel taunts of “whore, bitch, cunt, worthless.” And what made Nikki furious, enough to snap that skinny fuckers neck, was that you were starting to believe all those things. The cheating didn’t come as any surprise to Nikki. He was more surprised that you stuck around long enough for it to happen. However, he couldn’t blame you for needing a less ambiguous reason to leave such a long relationship. You were always kind like that to people - you always gave them the benefit of the doubt until you no longer could. This was a good thing sometimes. For the people who appreciated it, it showed just how much those friendships really meant to you. But other times, Nikki had seen you get taken advantage of by people who never deserved your love and care in the first place. More than anything, he hated that your ex had done that to you. You’d done nothing but love and support him. Sure, sometimes things don’t work out and couples break up, that was only reasonable. But Nikki felt an unfamiliar rage kick up in his chest when he thought about him being so unnecessarily cruel to you. He dropped himself hard on the couch next to you, stumbling a little on his way there. He was still a little drunk. You could smell the whiskey and cigarettes of the night heavy on his breath. You didn’t mind. Nikki had the tendency to become a total sweetheart to you when he was drinking. He made strained noise with his throat as he pulled you off the arm of the couch and into his chest. “Come here.” You wiped your tears from your eyes and sniffled a bit, leaning up against him. A few soft sobs kept you shaking. He clumsily pushed your damp hair from your wet eyes, but it just fell back into your face. “You wanna talk about it?” You sat up straighter so that you sat across from him. “I just…” You pulled in a deep breath, shaking off your tears with finality. “I just miss him.” Nikki groaned and thumped his foot on the ground. “I know, I know. I guess I don’t miss him. I just miss our relationship. It’s hard sleeping alone when you’ve been next to someone for a few years.” Nikki shrugged. “You can sleep in my bed.” You shot him a look. “Not like that. Look, I get it. I’m lonely in that big ass bed too!” “I’m already taking up a whole room in your house. I don’t wanna take your bed too.” “You don’t have to if you don’t want to, obviously. I just know how much being alone sucks and that bed is huge. Just might make you feel better.” It did sound nice. The guest bedroom that you were staying in was nice; soft clean sheets, a large TV and a record player with an impressive speaker set up that you were taking full advantage of. You were thankful Nikki had given you such a nice place to recuperate from losing so much. But the nights alone had not been pleasant. If not the lack of touch, the empty space and the loss of body heat and someone else’s shallow breathing served as a constant reminder that you were on your own now. It hurt. And for touch, you ached. God you ached. “C’mon. Let’s go upstairs. You weren’t gonna sleep on the couch were you?” “I was gonna try to read a book or something.” You rolled your eyes at your failed attempt. “E for Effort.” You cocked your head. “It’s ‘A for Effort.” He laughed and stood up. “That doesn’t make any sense.” “No, it’s- nevermind.” While you changed out of your clothes and into your pajamas, brushed your teeth, Nikki took his time showering and getting a glass of water to sober up before bed. It was nice seeing him start to take care of himself and be a bit more mindful of things these days. He still had a long way to go, but to see him make the effort was refreshing. You pulled on a big black Iron Maiden t shirt and a pair of boxer shorts, pulling your hair up before padding into his room. “You good?” You called, knocking on the open door and stepping in a bit. Nikki faced away from the door, still pulling on his boxer briefs, his hair wet and laid flat down his tanned and toned back, his ass surprisingly muscular. You quickly stepped out and quietly cursed at yourself, feeling stupid for not waiting for him to tell you to come in. However, he either didn’t mind or didn’t notice. “Yeah, yeah, come in.” He mumbled and opened the door for you before stepping over to his California King size bed. Everything was black; the carpet, the curtains, the walls, the bedsheets. Nikki stretched out on top of the luxurious satin comforter and let out a long, loud yawn, throwing his long legs askew, his arms splayed above his head on the pillow. His tattooed chest rose and fell with his deep, tired breaths. Still damp from the shower, his body was long and lean. However, his shoulders were broad and his legs were toned from spending most of his time running around on giant stages. His arms the same from years of playing bass. Nikki’s hair framed his face, a rare site to see it in its natural state. With his eyes shut, he lifted a hand and pointed to a stereo on the entertainment system in front of his bed. “You wanna put on a record to fall asleep to?” “Do you have a preference?” You asked, browsing his selection. “Put on Judas Priest.” He said sarcastically, holding up his devil horns. You rolled your eyes and flipped through the records. Knitting your brows together, you pulled out Sade’s Promise. “Really?” You asked, holding it up to him and laughing. “Hey you can bite me, alright? That album rocks.” “Actually, by definition it’s the only thing in here that doesn’t.” You said, looking at the track listing on the back of it. “Everything else you have in here is metal, I can’t fall asleep to that.” “I love Sade. No objections from me.” The speakers cracked with the sound of the needle picking up the first track before the soft music filled the room. Nikki turned over and felt around his bedside table before finding the a remote to click the lights off.  You climbed into the downy satin, the sheets rustling under your hands and knees. You fell down onto one of his king sized pillows and laughed. It was big enough for you to wrap your arms and legs around. “These giant pillows are so crucial.” “I fucking love this giant bed. You could fit ten people in here and I’d never know.” He said in the dark, his weight shifting about on the mattress while he worked himself under the comforter. “I bet you’d love that, perv.” You shot at him. “I wouldn’t ask ‘em to leave.” He threw his hands up, falling back into the pillows. You moved closer to him and settled in under the blankets. Nikki’s breathing slowed and grew hoarse, already drifting off to sleep. Having his presence there was enough to drive off the anxiety you’d been experiencing every night for weeks. Somebody else being there, no matter who it was, just made you feel safe. But Nikki specifically, half naked and sprawled out next to you, was making you feel something else. The thoughts weren’t the only thing that had been keeping you up. Loneliness came well equipped with its own brand of physicality, one that left you gripping your own skin at night, your fingers buried deep between your legs. The bass on the record swelled and you sighed, Nikki’s breath tempting you to feel it against your neck. Your skin vibrated, aware of the blood flowing in the pheromone soaked body beside you. Your senses begged for contact. “Do you mind if I snuggle?” You asked quietly, shaking him lightly from sleep before he was completely out. “Huh?” He asked, confused in his foggy mind before processing what you said fully. He lazily lifted his arm, beckoning you closer. He was warm against you, his heart beat on your back. He moved gently, finding comfort around your form. You slid your legs between his, a slight shiver falling down your back as his hairs tickled your smooth skin. A small, quiet sigh escaped you as his nose brushed against your ear. His hips responded before he did, bucking up into you as he pulled in a gasp through his nose. You rocked back into him and his forearm locked across your shoulders, holding you close. You felt him grow hard on the back of your thigh and he grinded up against you. He shook his head, now fully awake and aware of the situation. His grip loosened and he became still. “You okay?” He mumbled sleepily into your hair. You rolled over in his arms and snaked your own around his shoulders. “Nikki….” You began. But you didn’t have to say anything else. He knew what you were asking. Almost instinctively, he flipped you on your back, holding your wrists above your head with one hand. He moved your hair out of your face and peered intensely into your eyes. “You sure?” He asked. “Please.” His mouth was at your throat with your wrists pinned above you. With his other hand, his palm pushed across your stomach under your shirt and up between your breasts. He wrapped his hand softly around your throat and let go of his grip on your wrists. His tongue was hot along your jawline and he let out a low growl. He held you there and caressed your face, his mouth breathing hot in your ear. “I’m gonna fuck you so hard you’ll forget you ever met that asshole.” Feverishly, he reached down and pulled his erect cock from his briefs as you pulled your t shirt over your head. He took care to push his fingers into you, eliciting a sharp gasp as his mouth latched over your nipple, pushing into you as his tongue rolled over the sensitive tissue.  He pushed his fingers in deep and took a quick, sharp bite and you cried out, letting him know you savored the delicious sensation of pleasure and pain. Your eyes closed, you reached down to feel him, but he pulled your hand away and placed it back over your head. You whimpered, bucking your hips up to him, pleading for more. He pressed his forehead to yours and chuckled low. “Nuh-uh.” He said and laid a wet kiss on the hollow of your throat. “No way, this is for you. Don’t worry about me.” He delivered. Trailing hard, wet kisses down between your tits and taking time to suckle at your hips, Nikki pulled off your shorts and hid his face between your thighs. He worked you hard and messy with his fingers and mouth, sucking and kissing your clit, flicking his tongue quickly against it between hard, wet laps, his fingers moving in and out. Even stopping to breathe, there wasn’t a moment where he let you lose the flow of energy. Your head rolled back, your legs around his neck now and you tangled your fingers into his hair. Cries fell from your lips as you pulled him in closer and harder until finally you feel yourself release and tighten around him. Your body spasms as you cum, aware of his eyes on you as you moan and writhe. Your knees weaken and your legs fall beside him. He smiles as he rises to meet you, happy with his work. He flips his hair back and finally, he pushes into you with hard and hot friction, stretching you around his girth. You let out a low moan as he lumbers on top of you and with a soft “oh fuck….” into you. And then deeper. And then even deeper. He rolls his hips up into you over and over, painfully slow, taking his time to enjoy himself knowing you already had. He takes his fingers and dances them across your lips, dipping them into your mouth as he thrusts in tandem. Your tongue swirls around him, tasting yourself on his skin, a joyful hum coming from your throat. And then he’s faster. You feel him throb and grow harder again inside you and you begin to swell with a new heat around his cock. The head of his dick twitches and you are both slick with his pre cum. He pounds into you hard and then pulls out, holding himself back, leaving you whimpering again. “You want it?” He says through shallow pants, holding your arms above your head again. “Please.” Your voice cracks. “Say it.” “I want it.” You pout, your hips rising up into him. He shakes his head, nearly out of breath. “Say the whole thing.” He commands. “Nikki, please.” “The whole thing.” “Nikki.” You say with more authority, suddenly aware of what he wants to hear. “Please, I need to cum all over your fat cock.” He holds you at the hips and pushes furiously into you, each time with a low grunt from his chest until he snarls. A dizzy rush breaks over your skin and his hands are in your hair, the at your breasts, the muscles in his thigh and stomach jumping and he cums hard, hot inside you like a shot of whiskey. Collapsing on top of you and breathing heavy, he takes a hard bite of your shoulder. You let out a playful squeal and roll onto your stomach, pushing him onto his side. Too exhausted to move, you both lay there, naked and broken, covered in the others sweat. Nikki’s hair clings to the back of your neck, chest heaving. He lets out a gravely sigh and rolls around, swinging his legs around the mattress.  He stretches his arms above his head and you extend your limbs out as far as they can go, your entire body feeling lighter than it had when you first got into his bed. “I’m going to smoke a cigarette.” He said and took a deep drink from a glass of water on his nightside table. “You feel better?” You curled into yourself, pulling the covers over your naked body. “Yes, Nikki, thank you.” You cooed, your eyes too heavy to see a smile spread across his face. He lands a firm pat on your ass through the covers. “Good.” He says and heads out the door while you drift to sleep easier than you had in weeks, not a single worry left on your mind.

[gamerwoo]

Hongseok: Herbs and Remedies

Characters: Hongseok x gender neutral reader

Genre/warnings: woodland au, fantasy, fluff, slight angst

Word count: 1,925

Summary: You’re normally careful when you go hiking, so you’re unprepared when you twist your ankle and can’t find your way home that evening. You’re lucky Hongseok was nearby, though, because he knows just how to get you back on your feet in a few days. You’ll just have to stay with him until you’re better.

a/n: all of these were inspired by the concept photos for Pentagon’s new album, and @softseventeens was the one to give me the idea and actually gave me like, half the ideas for the stories :] 

Jinho | Hui | Hongseok | Shinwon | Changgu | Yanan | Yuto | Hyunggu | Wooseok

You hissed in pain, catching yourself on your hands before your face could hit the forest floor, no doubt getting leaves and dirt in your mouth and on your face. You weren’t sure what you stepped on wrong -- maybe it was a loose rock or a root -- but you lost your balance and twisted your ankle, falling to the ground as pain pulsed in your ankle. But you were in the middle of the woods so you had to try to stand on it and limp home to get it taken care of.

Positioning yourself on your hands and knees, you steadied yourself on your good foot before trying to stand. You kept your other foot off the ground, balancing on one foot for a moment before you tried to walk forward. Your ankle gave out and you cried out in pain feeling your weight on it as you fell to the ground once again.

This time, you stayed down.

“Fuck...” you whined, realizing this was an awful situation to be in.

You were out in the woods, alone, with a bum ankle. You couldn’t walk home, and you had left your phone in the car when you parked to go hiking. You at least had food and water in your backpack, but it wasn’t like you had anything to fend off wild animals or to sleep. You were stuck in the woods and the sun was setting.

That thought alone made you want to cry. You could already feel your breathing start to get quicker and more shallow as the reality of the situation set in. You were in a lot of trouble.

You looked around as you tried -- and didn’t succeed -- to not start hyperventilating. You were on your stomach, eyes scanning the forest like you were hoping some stranger who also wandered off the trails for some more intense hiking would be able to come rescue you. You knew that was a slim chance, but you hoped. What else could you do? You were stuck in the middle of the woods without a way to get back! You knew somebody would eventually realize you were missing, but you’d still have to get through the night here.

After what felt like hours -- but was only maybe 20 minutes -- of panicking and crying and begging to whatever higher power might be out there listening, you heard a soft, “Hello?”

You tried to turn to look at the voice, but you couldn’t see it. It must’ve been behind you, and you’d have to shift to your back to be able to see. But instead, you saw bare feet walk around to the front of you where your head was. The person crouched down a few feet away, and you saw a muscular boy with messy pastel hair and kind eyes looking at you, resting his arms on his knees as he looked at you curiously.

“Are you okay?” he asked in the same soft tone, like he was afraid of scaring you.

“N-no...” you sniffled, trying to form words through your jagged breaths. “I h-hurt my an-ankle, a-and I can’t g-get back, a-an’ I-- I--”

“Shh, it’s okay,” he smiled a little to reassure you. “I can get you fixed up and back on your feet in no time.”

He certainly didn’t look like a doctor, but you had no choice but to trust him right now. He was probably the only human -- at least, you assumed he was human since he looked human enough -- that you were going to see tonight. You just nodded, wiped your tears away with dirt-stained hands, and tried your best to get your emotions under control.

The boy whistled softly, and soon, a handful of small woodland animals came scurrying over, almost ignoring you completely. The boy spoke quietly and quickly to them, the animals going off one by one like he was sending them off to do errands. Just them walking up to him was strange enough alone, but they seemed to understand him, and that nearly sent you over the edge into a complete panic with the state you were already in.

“Can I come a little closer to you?” he asked, tilting his head slightly to one side.

“S-sure...” you mumbled.

He stood and walked until he was right beside you, sitting criss-cross on the forest floor. He was sitting by your torso, but you could feel his eyes looking at your ankle.

“Do you have a name?” he asked.

Even though you knew it was best to not give personal information out to strangers -- especially to strangers in the forest who had leaves and flowers sticking out of their hair -- you quietly said, “_____.”

He smiled, realizing you must trust him at least a little bit to tell him that, “You can call me Hongseok. _____, can I touch your ankle?”

“Is it going to hurt...?” you asked warily, turning your head to look at him.

“No, but let me know if it does,” he chuckled quietly before you felt warm, calloused fingers wrap around your bad ankle.

Like he promised, you didn’t feel any pain as he carefully examined you. Hongseok knew exactly what needed to be fixed, and he knew just how to get you better within a few days -- much faster than normal. But he knew all the secrets of the forest. He specialized in healing the animals, anyway.

“I’m gonna roll you over,” he warned.

You braced yourself for him to gently push you onto your back, but you didn’t prepare yourself to be lifted into his strong arms. You gasped, arms instinctively clinging to his neck in case he dropped you. He only smiled in amusement at your reaction before he was walking through the woods with you in his arms. He didn’t even seem to be struggling at all.

The trek to wherever he was taking you was mostly quiet other than the noises of the forest, and the few questions Hongseok asked you. Up close, he was especially handsome -- especially with the way the setting sun seemed to make his hair glow -- so you just settled on looking at his features while he brought you wherever it was he was going. Hongseok obviously noticed it, but he tried to hide his smirk and just kept walking, keeping his eyes straight ahead.

It wasn’t until you fell asleep from the rocking motion of being carried in his arms that he allowed himself to smile.

*⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*

The first night, you woke up to a soft, fleece blanket covering you. Your shoes and socks were removed along with your backpack, but you were still fully clothed. You looked to be in some sort of... It almost looked like you were somehow under a bunch of large tree roots. But everything seemed warmly lit, though you weren’t sure where the light was coming from or what caused it. The space you were in looked like a very woodsy and warm bedroom.

Across the room, Hongseok was crouched down on the floor, whispering to a fox that looked like it was paying close attention to whatever he was saying. You didn’t catch much of it until he sighed and stood up.

“I’ll be fine taking care of her on my own,” he promised. “You go home -- it’s getting late. She needs rest, anyway.”

Before Hongseok could turn around, you closed your eyes again and pretended to be asleep. You felt warm, plush lips press against your forehead before you were tucked in even tighter.

*⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*

You definitely weren’t happy to hear that you wouldn’t be able to walk for a few days, but Hongseok didn’t find it hard to calm you down. There was just something about him you found very calming, so your panicking soon just turned into calmly wondering what would happen if somebody came looking for you.

“I’ll put you somewhere they can find you, and you can go home,” he shrugged.

But part of you didn’t like that idea, and you weren’t sure why.

While Hongseok was absolutely elated to have a visitor that wasn’t one of his friends or the typical woodland creature that wasn’t much for conversation, he wasn’t really sure...what to do. He’d never had a human around for this long, and he definitely had never gotten this attached to one. You were only supposed to be there for three days but he already was dreading when you’d leave and his home would be empty again.

He spent most of his time around you, claiming he wanted to be there if you needed anything or were in any pain. But with the different mixes of herbs, plants, flowers, and berries he was using, you never felt any pain. Still, you weren’t complaining, and you didn’t realize he was just trying to take advantage of what little time he had with you.

On the last night you were expected to be there, Hongseok sat at the edge of his bed while you were laying down, looking at the side of his face. You’d gotten to know Hongseok a lot better since meeting him, and while you realized he definitely wasn’t something human, you still felt something warm and fuzzy inside for the strange woodland boy.

“Hongseok?” you spoke up.

“Hmm?” he asked, glancing over to you.

“Do you get visitors often?”

His soft smile turned a little sad as he shook his head, “No, not really. It’s usually just people who are lost, but they go home as soon as you point them in the right direction. You’re the first person who’s stuck around this long. Then again, you kind of had to.”

Without thinking, you put one of your hands over his and gave it a light squeeze, “Hey, I would’ve stuck around even if I had the option.”

Hongseok’s smile turned brighter, turning his hand over to squeeze yours back, “Really?”

His smile was contagious, one equally as wide taking over your features, “Really.”

*⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*

“I just got lost.”

That was the lie you kept telling everybody. If you said you were injured, they’d wonder how you were healed so quickly -- though you did feel a dull ache in your ankle, so you were given a brace when you were back in civilization. If you said you’d run into a handsome woodland boy in the woods, that would just make you sound crazy. So getting lost made the most sense.

Still, you had to tell somebody about Hongseok, so you confided in your best friend.

“I’ve read a lot of books about human-like creatures that live in the woods and take care of the wildlife and such,” she nodded. She was always one to be into mythical creatures and fantasy-type things. You knew she’d find your story not only interesting, but believable. “There’ve been a lot of sightings of people like that. What was he like?”

You began gushing about Hongseok, telling her how gentle and sweet he was. How he seemed to know everything about different remedies, and how he was so kind to any injured animals that came to him. 

“I just wish I could--” you cut yourself off as you realized that all you wanted was to see him again. This strange boy had made such an impact on you in such a short amount of time, but you couldn’t help it. You wanted to find Hongseok.

And you were going to try to do just that.