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heartandfangs · 2 years

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NOT IF IT'S YOU— PART TWO.

GENRE University AU, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers, Romance, Angst, Smut, Fluff

PAIRING Nerd!Heeseung x f!Reader

WARNINGS 18+ ONLY MDNI, Jealousy, Cursing, Making out, Arguing, Anxiety, Depression, Flirting, Mentions of food, Brief violence, Brief mention of alcohol, Brief mention of somnophilia, Crying (all sorts), Degradation, Breast worship, Multiple Orgasms, Squirting, Coming untouched, Heavy spit play, Light BDSM, Edging, Spanking, Oral Sex, Unprotected Sex, Cream Pie, Hair pulling, Dry humping, Praise kink, First-time blow job, Ball sucking, Fingering, Cum eating, Ear licking, Biting, Public Sex, Light bondage, Dom!Heeseung, Brattysub!FemMC, Sub!Heeseung, Softdom!FemMC, Other OC’s

WORD COUNT 29k (Fic Total)

SUMMARY Befriending a nerd who wants nothing to do with you in a coding class you want absolutely nothing to do with becomes the challenge of the semester— and you’re determined to ace that shit no matter what.

AUTHOR’S NOTE See end for author’s note cont.

Masterlist, Part One

Jake was nice enough to take care of closing the cafe so you and Heeseung could slip away undetected. You didn’t want to risk lingering in the area at the nearest bus stop, so you called an Uber to his place instead. The ride to Heeseung’s apartment was silent, and you stared out the window the entirety of the time, running back what had just happened in your head. Part of you wished you had interfered and repaid his ex tenfold for that slap, but you knew it wasn’t your place.

It wasn’t until Heeseung uncurled your tight fist and laced his fingers through yours that you realized the amount of tension whirring throughout your body and the unspoken affection in his touch.

What— what is he doing?

You’d be lying if you said you weren’t surprised he recently broke up with someone. It had been several months since you’d broken up with your ex, so you understood the stage that he was currently in, but everyone experienced things differently. Despite how he cut her off back at the cafe, were there any residual feelings he kept hidden for her? It had only been just over three months, after all, and who knew how long they were together for.

But it’s not like you two were together in the first place, so why did it matter so much to you?

You willed yourself to stay calm.

“I feel like I owe you an explanation,” Heeseung said suddenly.

“You don’t.”

“As your friend, I do.”

Friend, You glanced at your intertwined hands.

Silence followed.

It turns out there were more things to talk about than you both wanted to.

The Uber came to a stop, and you were about to untangle your hand from Heeseung’s until he opened the door and tugged you out his side. The building's unassuming facade was a blur as he bypassed the lobby elevators and took you up flights of stairs in a rush, presumably to avoid any awkward moments of silence with you at all costs. Plus, it must’ve given him a reason to hold on tight to you, and you let him.

You’re not slick, Heeseung… then again, neither am I.

By the time you arrived at his apartment, you were panting slightly and most definitely envious that Heeseung didn’t seem the slightest bit affected by scaling those stairs. He slowed down once he realized he’d been rushing you, and you were grateful.

“Sorry. Come in,” He finally let go of your hand and shut the door behind you. His touch left your hand tingling.

The lights flickered on to reveal a cozy kitchenette and quaint living room; the whole apartment smelled just like warm sugar, and you felt slightly more at ease despite the tension in the air.

You thought Heeseung was going to get straight to the point, but instead, he turned to you, “Are you hungry? Can I get you anything to drink?”

He always took care of you in that manner.

“I’m actually not even that hungry,” You admitted, propping your backpack up against the wall.

“Same. Well, let me make us some tea, at least. Oh, but you had tea already,” Heeseung paused, “If you’d like to wash up in the meantime, I can lend you some clothes. I know it’s been a long day, and it’s pretty late. You can stay the night if you’d like.”

Your heart rate picked up, “Stay the night?”

“Only if you want to. If not, I’ll accompany you home in an Uber when you leave, I don’t trust ridesharing services at later hours.”

Now it went from just having dinner to staying the night.

Heeseung’s a man, and you would’ve been able to spot his agenda from a mile away, but his intentions weren’t what stumped you. He could be flirty when he wanted to be, but he wasn’t single-minded or disrespectful, so you knew he wouldn’t try anything without your permission.

It was the fact that he was proposing it in the first place, despite everything that had just happened.

“Um,” You took in the room as if in thought, eyes eventually landing back on him.

Heeseung straightened up and patiently inclined his chin; he didn’t appear overly eager or aloof as he waited for your answer. Rather, his expression appeared sensitive, as though he was still reeling from the past hour.

Perhaps he actually did want your company for comfort.

“I should probably stay since it’s getting late,” You decided.

I guess we’ll have a friendly sleepover.

His eyes softened, “Alright, you‘ve got my room to yourself. Let’s get you some clothes.”

You tentatively followed Heeseung into his bedroom, feeling extremely out of place. Still, you figured this would be an interesting experience.

Unbeknownst to Heeseung, you covered up a giggle when you spotted a shelf collection of elegantly displayed wands.

Really, he didn’t have a whole lot of stuff except for piles of comics scattered about, a fairly high-tech-looking workspace— which was to be expected— and a vintage record player with a vinyl collection you’d love to peruse some time… that is, if he ever invited you back. You rubbed your arm and tried not to focus on the dwindling time you had left with Heeseung.

It was actually the size of his bed that took you by surprise— it was modern and large, even roomier than yours.

The thought of him sharing it with someone annoyed you to no end, for some reason.

While you took a gander about his room, Heeseung gathered several items of clothing from his drawers, all were either a dark wash of black or gray, save for a fluffy white pair of socks with a tag on them.

“Here's a bag for your laundry, and these are some sweatpants that don’t fit me anymore, but they’re adjustable. Also, there’s a shirt; the fuzzy socks I never wore. They were a secret Santa gift I got from Jake last year. I’ll shower after you. No rush.”

“Thanks,” you took the pile of clothes and slowly stepped backwards into the bathroom.

“Okay,” Heeseung left around the corner immediately, making you laugh despite the heaviness that weighed down your heart.

There was no way three months ago you could’ve predicted you’d be at Heeseung’s place under such shitty circumstances, but being able to advantage of his hot water made things slightly better in that moment… slightly.

As the hot water soaked into your hair, you reached for the only bottle of product on the edge of the tub and glanced at the label. God, he would use a three-in-one shower product, but at least it was a nice lavender scent.

Excitement nearly overtook you when you realized it was the lavender scent.

While you lathered down with it, suddenly, the titillating image of a damp-haired Heeseung flashed behind your eyes.

You imagined him pulling you back against his bare chest and spreading the creamy pastel purple substance all over your breasts from behind, massaging it into your skin until bubbles spilled over his thick fingers and down your ribs.

Suddenly you felt dizzy, your nipples hardening at the intrusive thought.

It was more than easy to picture him pressing you up against the damp tile walls and running his hands across all your sweet spots, especially dipping his fingers between your legs to draw lazy circles there, taking his time with you like you knew he would.

Ah, the hallucinations are already starting. Great.

Definitely helped with ensuring you felt mentally stable before talking to Heeseung about his deep past and trying to figure out your feelings towards one another.

Maybe you should eat something or at least ask if he had some alcohol stashed away somewhere.

Having nearly lost track of time, you rinsed fast and shut off the water. Taking care not to slip, you emerged from the lavender-scented steam and quickly dried off over the soft bathroom mat.

It dawned on you that you had no extra underwear. You stared at your plastic bag of dirty clothes that you kicked under Heeseung’s sink for the time being.

Well, you’d just have to make this work.

You rolled the cuffs and waistband of Heeseung’s grey sweatpants as much as you could without it looking dumb and then slipped his dark-wash long-sleeve over your head. Lastly, you ripped off the tag on the fuzzy socks and tugged them on, taking a last look at yourself through the foggy mirror.

Felt kinda airy down there, but at least you were clean and comfy. It wasn’t much different from the clothes you threw on while at home.

You gave your soaked hair strands another good squeeze before hanging up your towel and heading into the living room to let Heeseung know you were finished.

Just by the rich aroma in the air, you could tell right away he had cooked something. His eyes grew slightly when he saw you, and he had just transferred ramen into a bowl, by the looks of it.

Secretly your mouth watered, and you almost felt guilty that you’d just fantasized about this sweet boy in his own shower not a moment ago.

“Sorry, it’s nothing special, but I made something for you anyway. Still, don’t feel obligated to eat it, just know that it wasn’t my ideal first meal to make for you,” Heeseung set it on the counter with a set of utensils, a glass of water, and all the while, he’d hardly blinked since laying eyes on you.

You shuffled forward and pulled up a stool, “Actually, I was getting hungry all of a sudden, and you read my mind. Thanks.”

Heeseung seemed to find your appearance enthralling because he failed to answer in a timely manner, “Sure, I’ll be quick.”

He left the room, and despite feeling incredibly self-conscious, you devoured that bowl of steaming ramen. Something about eating it late at night just made it ten times tastier, especially after such a bizarre day. It warmed you up for the time being until you set down your utensils and downed your water. With a full belly, you stood up and did your due diligence by giving the dishes a good scrub over the sink and leaving them out to dry on the rack.

Exhaustion was quick to hit you like a truck, and the temperature suddenly dropped in the room, a chill running across your skin. The anxiety of speaking with Heeseung must’ve settled in your bones.

I probably should’ve asked for a hoodie or something. Also, putting off our inevitable conversation isn’t helping my restlessness either.

Cautiously, you padded into his room and stood in the doorway, considering if you should look in his closet for a jacket. It wasn’t ideal for you to trespass and sift though his things, though.

With chattering teeth, you surveyed the thick duvet and inviting pillows on his bed. The sound of the shower running was still audible, so you hastily slid under the soft sheets and curled up onto your side with a shiver. It was so much warmer underneath, and the sheets smelled nice like he’d just washed them.

If he asks, I’ll just tell him I was about to freeze to death and I didn’t want to rummage through his belongings.

Feeling a tiredness wash over you from the day, you pulled the duvet up to your chin and momentarily closed your eyes.

Behind your eyelids, you somehow noticed the lights turning off and slowly awoke from your nap. You fought to stay awake and laid eyes on Heeseung’s back illuminated by moonlight, just before he passed through the doorway into the living room.

“Heeseung…” You called out groggily, “Wait, we need to talk….”

Heeseung looked over his shoulder, “You looked so peaceful, I didn’t want to wake you up.”

“I’m awake,” You insisted, despite the heaviness weighing your eyelids down.

“Mhm. I’m glad you made yourself comfortable,” He teased, approaching you with his hands in his pockets.

“You left me no choice, I was cold….”

As you gradually sat up in bed, Heeseung clicked on the bedside lamp and took a seat on the edge. You noted his unexpected appearance; he wore black sweatpants and a vintage, dark gray long-sleeve with some sort of gothic script writing across it that you couldn’t make out in the dim lighting. His hair was damp and messy compared to the tame way he always wore it in class. The guy would look this good right out of the shower.

You bit your lip as you were reminded of your fantasy of him but nearly jumped when Heeseung slid the tips of his fingers over yours, “You’re warm now.”

“Geez— you’re not,” His skin felt like ice. He had to have taken a cold shower.

Heeseung was quick to retract them and lean back on his palms with a smirk, “Thought it’d wake you up.”

“It did,” Mindlessly, your hand inched across the sheets and slid under his own just to feel him again.

For several seconds, all you could hear was your heartbeat, and you tried to interpret the restraint behind his gaze.

Heeseung broke the silence, “Are we gonna talk?”

“Yeah,” You nodded.

“Okay. We can start wherever you’d like,” Heeseung slowly withdrew his hand.

You blinked, then sat back against the headboard. You looked up at the ceiling in thought but still felt his eyes on you. “Hm…”

Just treat it like a sleepover night, like you’re interviewing and asking your best friend to spill their darkest deepest secrets when you just can’t sleep.

“So, how long were you together with your ex?” You supposed you didn’t want to beat around the bush if he was willing to share.

Heeseung glanced at the carpet, “I broke up with my ex at the beginning of the semester, but we've been together for about five years. I was a little younger than I should’ve been when we first started dating in high school, but we’ve known each other since we were kids. Back then, I thought things would end up alright between us.”

Your stomach dropped at the connotation of their relationship, and the distaste you felt towards his ex only grew.

“What exactly happened that led you to break up with her?”

He leaned onto his knees and folded his hands together, “She was also my manager at my old serving job— her family owns this restaurant group. I… caught her in the back with a new hire. It pushed me over the edge, but I had to keep my job for a few weeks to make rent. I eventually quit since things were already building up to it.”

“That’s… awful. I’m so sorry.”

“After knowing her for so long, I think I saw it coming from her, but it still shocked me. As you can tell, she’s not someone who makes it easy for you to go against her wishes, but I’ve made things very clear with her.”

“Yeah,” You pursed your lips, “Was she always this way?”

“No, actually. She changed at some point when we got older. I cared for her when we were younger, but I can’t remember the exact moment when I stopped loving her. I think I only stayed because I was afraid, and she was all I knew.”

He loved her at one point.

You had no words to comfort an inevitable heartbreak like that.

“I think I understand where you’re coming from. My ex cheated on me at the start of the year,” You could hardly believe the words that were coming out of your mouth, but somehow found the courage to continue.

Heeseung’s head shot up, “You?”

“I like to think I was just too much for him to handle, but who knows what really drives people to hurt their supposed loved ones like that. I really figured he’d be my first and last… maybe if I were in a video game or something. Left me depressed for a few months, but I’m better off these days,” You gave him a sad smile and pulled up your knees to wrap your arms around them.

“I didn’t know…” Heeseung’s words faded.

You picked at the comforter. “Just another peek past the facade. I only brought that up because, well, you’re not alone.”

When the room fell silent, you glanced up at him only to find his pained eyes that stirred up emotion in you.

“How do you feel now?”

You paused at the question, really turned it around in your head. He forced you to look inside of yourself, past depths of stagnant emotions you had no desire to uncover or acknowledge, but he gave you no choice.

Tears pricked at your eyes, and you pressed them shut with a shake of your head.

Why so suddenly? Why am I feeling everything again now?

You felt his knuckles brush across your cheek. Heeseung took his time swiping away the tears that kept falling with his thumbs, and when you opened your eyes again, his own were glassed over, but he didn’t turn away from you.

“Oh. No, no, don’t—“ Absolutely flustered, you drew up on your knees and pressed your sleeves over his eyes to soak up his tears. You were terrible at comforting emotionally distressed people, let alone yourself.

Is this boy really crying for me?

You were unable to help from chuckling weakly as you watched his sweet little lips tremble, “I’ve already cried so many pitiful tears for myself, it’s not even worth it, Heeseung. Trust me.”

Finally, you drew your soaked sleeves away from his bleary eyes and cupped his flushed cheeks in your hands, “Trust me, sweetheart.”

He nodded and gently set your hands down on the sheets but held onto them. This all was definitely cathartic for you both.

“It’s okay to feel the way we do,” Heeseung regained himself, “It’s just— I don’t want you to feel like I’m using you to fill the void, that period of emptiness people usually experience— that I experienced. I’m not. I sat alone in it for weeks after everything happened and came to terms with it.”

Nodding, you listened to his words, shocked at how much of his heart he was bearing to you.

“___, I care about you. Do you understand that?”

After countless times he’s proven that to you, you acknowledged his words, “I do.”

“Good,” Heeseung’s torn expression eased into something more fond when he regarded you, “Because I was grateful for you and your consistent requests for help, and I tried to repay you in the only manner I was able to at the time. In a way, you distracted me a bit from everything going on in that part of my life.

At the start, I threw myself into my studies, but it’s true that I also took advantage of the chance to be near someone, to be needed, even if just for a class period.”

Both his words and soft gaze disarmed you— slowly, every insecure thought you had about how he felt toward you diminished.

“You know, your persistence really threw me off, but I was adamant about keeping some distance between us. I wasn’t trying to hop from one relationship to another and cling to someone— I needed time too… Turns out the time I needed was shorter than I thought once you came along.”

A small smile pulled at your lips, “Are you saying I knocked some sense into you?”

“Yes,” He admitted, “Knowing that I hurt you when you were just trying to get to know me made me realize I’d taken things too far. That I didn’t need to push people away anymore.”

A newfound admiration bloomed in your chest for Heeseung.

“You made up for it, though.”

“Have I? I feel like I’m still working on making it up to you.”

Heeseung has been generous with me ever since I met him, regardless of how private he had been. Even during our rockiest moments— even now.

You looked down, “Don’t feel like you have to keep making up anything to me, because you don’t.”

He brushed a damp strand of hair away from your eyes.

“I could say the same for you. Sometimes we do things not because they need to be done, but because we want to.”

Heeseung quietly watched surprise take hold of your features.

Unable to hold yourself back any longer, you threw yourself on him and wrapped your arms around his neck in the biggest hug you swore you’d ever given. Your heart was beating out of your chest, but you squeezed him hard just to let him know how much you cared and were astonished when he drew you against him even closer.

“Thank you,” He whispered in your ear.

Your eyes fluttered open, realizing your lashes were damp with secret tears. “Anytime,” you breathed.

Heeseung chuckled against your neck, and you refused to move, so he drew you under the sheets with him. Instead, you relaxed into his embrace fully, letting his peaceful, lavender scent encompass you for the whole night.

The first emotion you experienced upon waking was frustration; you were pulled from the kind of dream you didn’t want to forget but had absolutely no recollection of. All you knew was that it left you feeling hot in all the right places and you didn’t want it to end— and then someone was playing with your hair.

A shiver worked itself up your spine as they ran their hands slowly through your strands, stroking gently along your neck, and it felt so, so nice. You stirred but feigned sleep a little longer just to enjoy the sensation of tingles running down your back. When you finally came to, you grumbled and pressed up against the warm body beneath you.

Heeseung.

He looked slightly startled but smirked at you, his laid-back appearance taking you by surprise first thing in the morning. The fact that you had fallen asleep next to him for the entire night began to settle in your mind, and you suddenly felt incredibly shy.

Especially since he was playing with your hair. Exactly how long had he been awake?

“Morning.”

“Hey. I must look like a wreck,” You said, a bit embarrassed.

“You look like you slept well,” Heeseung hummed.

Oh, his voice sounds deeper in the morning.

You rubbed at the sleep in your eyes and tried to smooth down your bedhead, “For some reason I did… I-is that drool?”

Mortified, your eyes bore into the dark patch on his shirt in disbelief, then your hands were grabbing at his collar, “Change out of that right now.”

“It’s fine,” Heeseung insisted, resting his hand on your wrist.

“No, I can’t look at it!” You pulled at the fabric in a panic.

“It’s not that big of a– I– Okay!” He sat up and pulled his shirt over his head; you snatched it and hid the evidence behind your back, already planning on burning it if you could find a lighter in his flat.

“I’m sorry,” You sighed but did a double take and stared because any normal person would, just not for as long as you did. His lean physique took you by surprise, especially when he always wore oversized clothing.

With an amused smile, Heeseung leaned forward to swipe his thumb against the corner of your lip as if there were drool there.

He tilted his head, “Are you?”

You lept off the bed in search of another shirt in his drawers, “Stop that.”

“What?”

You ignored him.

A black T-shirt caught your eye, and you balled it up to launch it across the room at him but flinched when you suddenly felt Heeseung’s presence behind you. His hand brushed against your back in an attempt not to scare you.

“Someone’s jumpy in the morning,” Heeseung commented, taking the shirt from you to pull it on. You got another peek at his cut waistline just as he was adjusting the fabric over his head.

“Usually I’m not….”

For as much of a nerdy person as he was, he certainly took care of himself. You thought back to the first time you’d gotten a glimpse of his skin after class and compelled yourself not to turn into a stuttering idiot after blowing things out of proportion first thing in the morning.

“Well, I have a 9 am final I need to leave for in about 15 minutes. There’s an extra unopened toothbrush in the drawer and stuff if you want to get ready,” Heeseung called over his shoulder as he dug out different pieces of clothing to wear. “Clothes-wise, wear whatever you want.”

“I’ll just wear this out. I’m gonna head back to my apartment to change before my afternoon class anyways.”

Heeseung’s bathroom was very minimal, with a few basic products that were easy to find. It looked tidy because of that… couldn’t exactly say the same for yours.

You splashed water on your skin with a bit of face soap, and after patting it dry, you found the extra toothbrush and toothpaste he mentioned, letting your mind drift while you brushed your teeth.

When I think about it, I can’t believe we’ve become this comfortable with each other. He’s a much more emotional person than I initially thought. Staying overnight was a pretty risky move in the sense that anything could’ve happened. I mean anything. Also, it was pretty gross that I drooled on him, but he was hardly deterred. He even played with my hair…

The brushing came to a stop.

…And he actually cried for me last night.

Heeseung filed in next to you and casually started brushing his teeth. You wanted to laugh at how unfamiliar the simple act felt but ended up staring at him through the mirror, noticing his puffy eyelids. Yours were hardly any better.

Then he wriggled his eyebrows at you, causing you to spit immediately into the sink. So much for brushing for a full two minutes. He seemed like himself again.

You rinsed and patted your mouth with a towel, “So weird.”

Heeseung shrugged and finished up in the bathroom when you grabbed your laundry and went to locate all of your belongings ahead of time so you wouldn’t hold him up by the time he had to leave. As you organized your laundry in your backpack, the previous night's events continued to flash through your mind.

“Hey, what are you gonna do about your glasses?”

Heeseung emerged from the bathroom and tipped his head back to place something in his eye, “Wear contacts until I can get them fixed.”

“Ah.”

You fell into thought as Heeseung finished inserting his contacts, “I was wondering about this for a while, but when we first ate Thai together… Why were you acting so weird after I mentioned you looked different without your glasses? I said you looked cute either way, but it seemed like I offended you.”

“Oh, that? No, you didn’t offend me…” Heeseung murmured.

Your brows furrowed, “What was it then?”

He pulled on a pair of sweatpants and nearly stumbled from misstepping. “It wasn’t what you said. It’s just when you touched my hair and what not— I just… I realized I wanted you, but it didn’t feel right yet.”

As if his own words had just dawned on him, his hands froze on the waistband of his sweats. At the same time, you looked up at Heeseung from rummaging in your bag.

Every little flirtatious interaction and hint of jealousy clicked together in your mind like puzzle pieces, confirming his longing for you since then.

It’s not like you didn’t come to that conclusion, but even back then? And to admit that aloud, now?

A thrumming tension hung between you two as you stood up.

“You wanted me?”

Heeseung swallowed thickly as you approached him, forcing him back against the foot of his bed. If only you knew what your presence by his side every day and in his most private spaces had done to him, maybe you’d show a little mercy and understanding.

He wished you were aware of how every room you occupied was imbued with your scent and how he couldn’t sleep a wink last night because you were pressed up so soundly against him, unable to stay still as you dreamt of things he so desperately wanted to be a part of.

Wished you knew how happy it made him to see you casually interacting with his belongings like you already owned them, eating the simple ramen he made for you, getting comfortable under his sheets, and wearing his clothing without a second thought now.

Wished he was insane enough to pull your chair towards him once everyone in class had left, slide down on his aching knees, and bury his head between your thighs to make you scream his name over and over until your sweet voice grew hoarse.

Heeseung wanted to indulge you with his deepest desires.

He supposed all crossroads led to this very moment— Since the day you walked through the classroom door with a smile and he forced himself to pretend your existence wasn’t that important, that he wasn’t in the slightest bit affected by how frighteningly beautiful or intimidating you were to him when you found the need to be.

There was no way he could ignore someone like you for long, not when you showered him in attention and simply couldn’t leave him be. Even when he’d act overbearing and nagging, proving to be a bit much for you at times.

As fate would have it, he was destined to bend to you, his mind, body, and soul more than willing, even if he fought it at the start.

He should be afraid of putting so much trust in someone who held so much power over him, but he wasn’t— not anymore.

Every bit of him wanted to be dialed into now as you reached out and rearranged a few pieces of his bangs around his eyes, running your fingers softly through his hair, setting off alarms in his body like you had all those weeks ago.

“I wanted you,” He admitted.

Truly.

The second he leaned into your touch, you did it a little more roughly, and the look he gave said that you were treading on thin ice with him.

Despite his piercing eyes, you remained calm and tucked a stray strand of hair behind his ear before tracing the outline of it with your fingertip all the way down to his ear lobe, noting how a soft sigh escaped his lips as you massaged him there. You ignored the urge to take his ear lobe into your mouth, despite wanting to hear the beautiful sounds he might make for you.

Instead, you let sweeter thoughts motivate you and ran your fingers along his jaw, holding him close as you stood on your tippy toes, stare flitting down to his lips. You didn’t have to reach much, Heeseung was already leaning down, meeting you more than halfway.

When your lips met, it felt delightful and sure, sparking like a kiss that had been a long time coming— but an undeniable intensity dominated the caress from the sheer amount of desire you had for him since the very start. Heeseung responded immediately, and you could sense his struggle to manage his eagerness for you.

Intentionally keeping the pace slow but sensual, you pulled back and swiped your tongue against his lips any time you felt him get worked up under your touch.

It frustrated Heeseung, who simply wanted to be as near to you as possible, so once your lips connected again, he slyly tilted his head to deepen the kiss, reveling in your startled moans as he caught you off guard. His hands slid up your smooth back and dug into your skin, pressing you close so he could finally feel you against him and keep you there.

Of course, he tasted like mint, and his touch was more than covetous by how he grazed your shoulders under your shirt, revealing your skin and sending sparks down your spine once more. Suddenly breathless, you parted for a moment, but Heeseung held you tightly against his heaving chest, letting you know that there was no escaping him as his heart beat wildly beneath your palms.

“And now?” You had the gal to ask when you were the one waning under his passion.

“Mm,” His lips caressed your cheek, “Don’t think I’ll be able to get enough of you.”

Heeseung’s breath caught when you dragged your hand against the soft fabric covering his chest and abdomen. You gathered the shirt higher on his waist, then ran the tips of your nails up and down his stomach, circling his belly button to tease him. Then you stoked the flames, pressing your hips flush against his, and could feel his excitement sear against your thigh.

A breathy hiss left his lips, and he gazed at you with heavy eyes, the mere sound making you throb with need for him. You enjoyed smoothing your palms beneath his shirt and over his lightly toned chest.

“Don’t stop….”

Your fingers just grazed his nipples as his hips jerked against yours.

“Show me where, but do it slowly.”

Heeseung shamelessly tugged the waistband of his sweatpants down on his hips and took your wrist to gradually draw your touch lower, much lower, until you were palming his hard length through the thin layer of his black briefs. Even through the fabric, he was hot to the touch and pulsing against your fingers.

“Heeseung,” you drawled accusingly.

“Fuck,” His head dropped forward into the crook of your neck as you began to squeeze and rub along his thick cock. He held onto your wrist and began grinding into your hand, his panting growing heavier against your skin by the second. You could feel his wetness starting to form where you palmed him over and over.

“Hey, be honest with me. Did you get hard sleeping next to me?”

Heeseung licked his lips, “Just a little.”

Your curiosity got the best of you, “And did you touch yourself?”

Heeseung stiffened against you, “Only a bit when you’d grind against my side. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have been able to last the night….”

He groaned when you firmly groped his cock through his briefs, making him feel like he was yours.

“When I’d grind on you?” You asked incredulously.

“Ah– Yes, you were the exact way I am right now– rubbing against me, all breathless and whiny. Must’ve been a good dream; made me jealous,” He revealed, even as a smug smile grew on his face.

Your recollection was faint, but you knew he wasn’t joking.

“Did you feel me up when I was asleep?”

His grin dropped, and his voice tightened, “No. You know I wouldn’t do that,” His doubtful expression then shifted to one of cautious inquisitiveness, “Not unless you wanted me to….”

He caught how your brows rose at the meaning and found your reaction entertaining.

Of course, Heeseung would never touch you without your approval, but the fact he just brazenly put it out there as an option was wild to you. He’s so unassuming that you weren’t sure what to think after he casually suggested a naughty offer like that as if it were just a pre-planned favor he could easily take care of for you.

Heeseung seemed to surprise you in many ways, but you should’ve known to expect the unexpected from him at this point. Maybe you’d take him up on his offer later, but for the time being, you were intrigued by this side of Heeseung you just glimpsed.

An impish idea came to mind as you desired to provoke him further and draw him out of his shell. You twirled around in his arms and arched your back to press your ass against his bulge, enticing him to grind on you. Once you tipped your head back to look up at him and reached overhead to tug at his dark locks, you made your neediness undeniable to him.

Heeseung recognized it too and, for a moment, was taken aback. He could tell by the glint in your eyes that you wanted to relinquish your control to him; it was that similar kind of fascination you looked at him with in the restaurant when all he wanted to do was bend you over that wooden table and please you in every which way.

“And if I’d woken up all needy and begging for you, what would you have done?” You nestled your cheeks against his cock, delighted by how he tucked his lip under his teeth to stifle a moan, “Would you be nice, Hee? Or would you ruin me?”

His initial shyness soon morphed into complete hunger as one of his hands found your waist, and the other snaked up between your breasts to wrap around your neck. Heeseung anchored you to his chest, and when you felt him take hold of your jaw to kiss you over your shoulder, you melted in his arms.

“Why don’t I just show you?”

It didn’t even register that Heeseung shoved you onto the bed and pressed you onto your stomach. He forced your legs apart with his own before holding you down by your nape and hip, letting you know your place. Instantly, he began grinding his hips into your ass, and all you felt was the unyielding pressure and heat that threatened to undo you right then and there.

“Oh, fuck yes—“

It felt so good to be pinned beneath Heeseung, let alone a person who you entirely adored from head to toe. His weight bearing down on you felt delicious and heavy; you could only imagine what the full force of his thrusts felt like, especially without any barriers of clothing.

God, you really thought you’d be the one to bring him to his knees first, but here you were. The sensation of his hard length dragging between your ass caused your pussy to dampen your sweatpants uncontrollably.

Even Heeseung could feel it.

Oh shit. Shit—

“Making a mess already, baby?”

“Shut up,” You gritted out, his words setting your face aflame.

Yes, yes— you’ve turned me on since the day we met!

Is that what you want to hear me say?

He was soaking in his briefs just minutes ago. Who was he to talk?

You were barely able to quiet your yelp in time when Heeseung slid his hands past your waistband and pushed the fabric just beneath your cheeks to knead at the soft flesh. He did it in such a teasing way that made you feel delirious and frantic at the same time like you wanted him to strip you bare and run his tongue all over your body right after.

“Talk to me that way again and see what happens,” He warned, egging you on. His hands on your ass grew more insistent as he gripped and massaged your flesh, making you grasp at the sheets.

Ah, you couldn’t believe Heeseung also had this side to him, but at the same time, you had an inkling. What a crazy contrast to how he was whimpering under your touch just moments before. Typically, he was so patient with you in class, but you just knew he had an itch to scratch when it came to you.

Excitement bristled through your entire being, and it didn’t go unnoticed.

“I said shut–”

He brought his palm down before you even finished, and god was there power behind it.

A moan ripped from your throat, the sharp sound of flesh meeting flesh ringing in your ears as his hands possessively ran over your stinging ass.

“Again,” Heeseung baited you.

Astonished with yourself, you bit your lip hard. At the same time, your pussy clenched, juices spilling onto the sheets. You loved the feeling but realized you weren’t going to last with how swollen your clit felt from his words and the way he handled you. Even just jerking against the mattress after the blow Heeseung landed nearly made you come.

“No?”

This is insane. There is no way I’m going to come just from getting spanked once. No fucking way.

You shook your head and rubbed your thighs together as Heeseung pressed a wet kiss to the flushed skin he’d marked.

“Mm, that’s what I thought.”

The cold air hit your legs and pussy when he yanked off your bottoms in one fell swoop, and then he was flipping you onto your back and running his large hands against your sides to gather your shirt over your breasts.

“Heeseung,” You gulped, suddenly feeling very exposed in the morning light.

“___, be good for me,” He tipped your chin up to capture your lips in a reassuring kiss, “I just wanna make you feel good like you can let go without worrying about anything. Trust me?”

His words calmed you immediately.

“Of course.”

“Good girl,” Heeseung kissed you once more, and you relaxed into it, letting your legs fall open so he could press closer. That is, until his hands were back to slowly stroking up and down your curves, thumbing at your peaking nipples.

“You are gorgeous,” Heeseung smiled, noticing a deep flush creeping across your cheeks, “So soft and sensitive…”

He squeezed your breasts together and dragged the flat of his hot tongue between your cleavage with a flick. The visual was so fucking overwhelming you hung your forearm over your eyes with a whimper.

“…But you could have me on my knees if you wanted to, and you know it.”

Doing as he pleased, he took the edge of your shirt and pulled it tightly over your breasts so that your nipples would harden with every pass of the fabric. Each time he tugged the edge of the shirt over the swell of your breasts, your nipples would perk up against the cold air, tempting Heeseung to teasingly place kisses around them before repeating it all over again.

He was receptive to your minuscule reactions, watching closely at the way you wet your lips and arched your back to press your chest against his face anytime he drew near.

“A-ah— Hee,” You complained, threading your fingers through his hair, desperately wanting his mouth fully on your tits, “Fucking tease….”

You felt him mouth kisses at the underside of your breast and swipe his tongue back and forth while your nipples tingled, begging for attention.

“Acting like you’re not enjoying this? Someone really likes to play dumb around me,” He kissed your throat as you squirmed underneath his rough touch, your thighs drenched in arousal.

Finally, Heeseung tucked your shirt above your chest and dragged his hand down the valley of your breasts and over your stomach, stopping right above your clit, just to make you even crazier.

“That’s how you keep me wrapped around your finger, isn’t it?”

He came back up to seal his lips over your aching breast and suckled deeply against your nipple. The sloppy noises caused your body to clench and fold under him; you were twisting in his grasp, barely able to withstand the expressions of his deep-seated desire.

Then he stroked you down there, let you rub your sensitive slit against him, and make a drooly mess over his palm. You moaned unabashedly at the feeling of him finally palming your pussy.

“Oh my god!”

Having sensed your uncontrollable surge of arousal, he lapped at your sweetness on his hand, brought your leg around his waist, and let you rut your bare hips against him. As you curled around his head and clutched him against your chest, you grinded against him messily like you were in heat, using him to satiate the growing fire in your core without a care if you were soaking his shirt or getting a cramp in your side.

Heeseung pulled you up to sit on his bulge, and your hands shot out against his chest to support yourself over him. He held you firmly by your love handles and let you hump against his cock to your heart's content, clearly enjoying the view of you above him with a coy smile.

“Shit! Hee….”

Heeseung squeezed and rolled your breasts in his hands, “Had a feeling you’d like riding me. That little clit must be so swollen and pink—“

Soon enough, he found himself preoccupied with lapping his hot tongue against your other breast, coating it in saliva before smacking your nipple against his lips. You threw your head back and moaned deeply, the thrusts of your hips unrelenting. Heeseung’s hands blazed up your thighs and ass, insistent on making it known how much he’d been holding himself back from touching you.

Heeseung snapped his hips up into you, causing you to nearly keel over on top of him, thighs shaking and spit spilling from your lips onto his chest. He easily caught you, his chuckle vibrating against your skin, and laid you back against the sheets to lick over your chin and slip his heavy tongue against yours. He moaned into your mouth, tasting you deeply with every stroke, and you simply allowed him to devour you.

He knew you were purely holding onto him for dear life at this point.

Abruptly, you heard Heeseung curse under his breath upon seeing the time on his bedside stand. “You don’t have class ‘till later, right?”

His words almost didn’t register in your lust-hazed brain as you chased his lips for more kisses.

“Wha? No—“

Suddenly, Heeseung was gripping your thighs, pulling your legs over his shoulders to fold you in half. He dragged his fingers through your slicked folds again and circled your clit before sucking the taste of you off them.

“Good,” You gasped as he smirked down at you, then his perfectly aligned hips rolled into yours— and stopped for nothing.

With a broken moan, your eyes fluttered shut at the sweet, sweet heat. The friction of his sweatpants only heightened your pleasure as his hips drew deep, slow circles against your bare pussy, your eyes rolling back into your head every time he made contact with your swollen clit just right.

“Hee— Heeseung—“ Your call devolved into a litany of moans, filling his ears like pleasing notes.

He was almost fed up with himself for not making a move when you embraced him after your talk because he could’ve been enjoying your mewls of pleasure all night long. Almost. Truthfully, he wouldn’t have traded anything for the endearing way you tackled him onto his bed with abandon and curled up in his arms to sleep, even as torturous as laying next to you was.

“I love being needed by you,” Heeseung confessed against your lips, “Even though I know you don’t really need me.”

“No— I need you,” You whimpered against him, your nails digging pretty red crescents into his shoulder blades. The force of his hips was jarring enough to make you feel like you were losing your sanity as he drilled you deeper and deeper into his mattress.

“Yeah, baby? How badly?”

The pace of his thrusts quickened if that were even possible.

“So fucking badly! You’re— you’re gonna make me come,” you warned, “Fuck—“

You felt the knot in your stomach begin to unravel, and then in seconds, quick pulses of emanating heat dragged you under a blanketed haze of pleasure.

Heeseung was beyond pleased with the blissful expression you wore, knowing you saw fireworks behind your fluttering eyelids. As though in tune with your body, Heeseung eventually slowed his thrusts and took in every bare inch of you that glistened with a pretty sheen of sweat, basking in the sound of your shaky moans.

If you had the sense to peel your eyes open, you’d crumble even more under his fervent expression as he gently pressed his hips against your clenching pussy and kept the perfect amount of pressure there for your enjoyment.

“Mmn!” Inevitably, you trembled and huffed against him from oversensitivity, in disbelief of how hard he still was.

He caught your chin between his thumb and forefinger— kissed you like you had breath to spare.

“See, you like being teased, don’t you, baby?”

“Hee… fuck…”

When you eventually came to, you glanced down between your bodies and saw the aftermath; the sheets and front of his sweatpants were stained with your release. However, the tent in his pants is what caught your attention, and you salivated at his twitching dick, knew how big it was under your hand— wanted to see it drip with pearly cum.

Despite being lightheaded, you grabbed at his hips with determination.

“Sorry, I got carried away, but I have to go,” Heeseung caught your hands and was already gently tugging you to sit up so he could clean you off.

“But—“

“I know we’re gonna be so busy starting today, but do you want to meet up Thursday evening in one of the study rooms? The day before our final? I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

Make it up? After everything he just did, make up for what? Did he mean make out? Your brain was unable to compute, and you just found yourself nodding.

Heeseung chuckled and sealed the deal with a kiss that conveyed a deep affection you felt unworthy of. His hands threaded into your hair, it almost felt like he wasn’t going to let you go, but he did.

“See you then.”

Knowing Heeseung didn’t come during his first time with you haunted you for several days up until your final study session with him of the year. He certainly had to be aware that you had no intention of leaving him high and dry, but it still frustrated you. Timing was the biggest obstacle then, and you were determined not to let it get in the way today.

Like a diligent student, you had studied for all your classes and prepared for your finals like it was the apocalypse. Despite your worries, a majority of them you already knocked out; the final project for your coding class consisted of an entire presentation of your work the following day, officially making it your most concerning project.

You loathed public speaking, and of course, there was a mistake in your code that you failed to catch in the haze of exhaustion while you were burning the midnight oil, so it gave you all the more reason to look forward to seeing Heeseung. Thanks to him, you actually had a chance at acing the class rather than just having survived it.

Plus, you were glad to have an excuse to talk about something other than what went down at his apartment because you were still working your brain around the different sides of himself he’d shown to you that morning.

You smirked to yourself.

Will I encounter the angel or devil today?

It was always chilly in the library, so you felt your nipples pebble under your favorite sweatshirt in reaction to the air conditioner. The outfit you chose to wear was slightly out of the norm but purposeful. You ditched the bra opting for comfort, and with Heeseung in mind, you traded your typical pair of sweatpants for a white, pleated skirt that matched your casual sneakers.

Usually, you stuck purely to skincare, but your make-up was fairly light for today, save for a touch of red coloring your lips and liner with mascara to brighten your eyes. It was a nice mix of your signature relaxed look and a touch of coquette. Obviously, it wasn’t over the top, but you felt pretty cute.

You spotted a focused-looking Heeseung through the study room window at the end of a long row of shelves. He’d chosen the most inconspicuous study room on the top floor, and you had to applaud him for that.

A wave of confidence overcame you as you approached the room at an unhurried pace.

After two knocks, you pulled open the door.

“Oh, I almost didn’t recognize you, specs,” You smiled, dropping your bag onto the table and comfortably leaning against the edge.

“Yeah?” Heeseung sat back against his chair and took off his new glasses with a snort, inspecting the plastic frames, “My original glasses are taking a while to get repaired. Weirdly, I got some stares from people in my other classes and customers at work without them, so I just picked up a shitty pair from the Dollar Tree. They give me a headache but beats the odd looks….”

He scrambled to slide them back in place once he noticed your atypical attire, his gaze slowly trailing up your legs.

“Sounds like they were checking you out. I guess I can see where they’re coming from,” You crossed your legs, holding back a smile.

He exuded an interesting vibe today himself, his cute glasses served as the biggest contrast against his black ensemble consisting of gray jeans and a black shirt. If he’d worn only his contacts on top of everything, it would’ve been too much for you to handle.

Inwardly, you snickered as the tips of his ears blushed red, and he quickly glanced down at his keyboard. Even you were still trying to figure out how this was the same guy who relentlessly teased your body to death earlier that week.

Oh, he’s the shy one today. Let’s see for how long…

You eased the attention off of him, “I’m probably gonna need you to double-check my project.”

“That’s fine. I’ll help you after you tell me how this tastes.”

You tilted your head, “Hm?”

“I baked you something.”

“You— you did?” Your eyes brightened as he rested his hand on a simple, ribbon-wrapped package sitting next to his laptop that you hadn’t noticed before.

“Yeah, don’t worry, it’s edible,” His grin made your heart thrum.

Heeseung handed you the package and patiently looked up at you with wide eyes as you unboxed its contents. You tugged at the ribbon delicately as it unraveled and peeked under the lid.

“Macarons!”

“The decadent kind. Try it,” He reached over and took out a cream-colored macaron, set the box aside, then held it to your lips, “You look pretty, by the way….”

Eep!

“Thank you,” You gave him a sincere smile, causing him to nibble on his lip.

You tucked your hair behind your ear and leaned forward to take a bite. The texture was marvelous; one bite in, and you were sold on the delicious buttercream filling.

“Mmm— the butter,” Your mouth watered in between chewing, “This flavor beats all the others out of the park! I think it’s my new favorite. Seriously.”

“No need to savor it, I can always make more,” He reminded you.

“Wait, really?”

“Yeah.”

You stared at him suspiciously. Did he mean it? As in, he intended to stay in touch?

“If I wanted some next week, you’d bake me some?”

He nodded, “Sure.”

“But what if I wanted some for Christmas?”

“I can bake you more, along with some other treats I’ll be testing for the holidays.”

“And what if I wanted some next semester?”

Heeseung chuckled, “I’d make you barely enough; that way, you have to keep asking me. There. Satisfied that you exposed my ploy?”

You stared at him, feeling overwhelmed. The time you thought would come to an end with him wasn’t as concerning of an issue as you had thought all along. Whether or not Heeseung thought that to be obvious to you both, you weren’t planning on taking his words for granted.

He gestured at the remaining macaron half he held, but you ignored it and slid into his lap, nestling against his firm bulge. He groaned softly but welcomed you, his free hand squeezing your bare thigh as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders.

“And will we still be friends by then?”

“No,” His eyes shone with knowing, “No, I don’t think so.”

You inhaled deeply, “How about next week?”

He slowly shook his head and found himself staring at your lips.

You tilted his chin up so he’d meet your eyes. “And what about now?”

A bashful smile spread across his face, and he brushed the macaron against your lips, ”You tell me….”

Gently, you took the piece into your mouth, brushing your glossy lips against his fingertips, succeeding in stealing his breath away.

You held his hand between yours and took your time to suck the pads of his thumb, then index finger into your mouth as your voice dropped to a whisper, “You’re mine.”

And the look in his eyes said he knew it.

The air around you two dampened with lust.

“I missed you,” Heeseung wet his lips and thumbed at your own, “Let me taste, please?”

While still seated in Heeseung’s lap, you leaned back against the table, his hands settling on your soft thighs as you reached off to the side for another treat. You split the macaron in half so you could gather the white filling with a lick, then stick out your tongue past your lips. You stayed relaxed against the table, legs hanging on either side of his lap, and beckoned him with your finger.

In a blink of an eye, Heeseung was leaning over you to pull you against his chest and taste every inch of your mouth he could reach. The kiss was ravenous and sugary sweet, with way too much tongue; everything you could’ve wanted after spending a few days apart.

“Mm,” you moaned against his lips when his palm slid over the side of your neck to hold you in place.

You knew he was just bursting at the seams of his pants. After all, he never got the satisfaction of finishing like you had, and now it was your turn to play with him.

The kisses quickly evolved into eager smacks and dips of his warm tongue against yours, your shenanigans to blame. You broke the kiss after a particularly sloppy caress and watched thick strands of saliva dribble down his chin.

“A-ah…”

You eyed the cherry red stains of your lipstick on Heeseung’s lips and lapped up the strands with several hot strokes, earning a whimper from him. Obsessed with the sounds he just made, you messily reconnected your lips with his and pulled back again, catching strands of his saliva with a flick of your tongue.

He moaned deeply, brows knit together, his eyes glazed over and pleading. At this point, his glasses had been slightly knocked askew on his nose, and you chuckled at the dreamy look in his eyes.

Heeseung was panting deeply, his nipples standing hard underneath his shirt; the boy looked like he wanted to be devoured by you.

“You like it sloppy, huh, baby?”

“Yes—,” His hips bucked excitedly against yours, but you could tell he was trying to control himself.

“I’ve always thought your ears are so cute,” You whispered hotly against his skin, making them grow a shade darker of blush, “You don’t mind if I suck on them a bit, do you?”

Heeseung’s eyes widened behind his crooked glasses, ”No….”

“You clean ‘em, right?” You teased, sweeping your nail up the fluttering pulse at his neck.

Heeseung pouted, “Yes, every day—“

“I know, cutie,” You adjusted his glasses and traced the curve of his ear with your tongue, holding him in place by his jaw.

He gasped at the sensation and shut his eyes to really enjoy the way you were toying with him. When your teeth began to tug against the tip of his ear, he bit back a small groan, making you smile against his skin.

You soothed your assault with several laps of your tongue before moving to suckle at his ear lobe and grind down on his hard-on.

“Oh god…” Heeseung’s eyes fluttered, and with desperate hands, he clung to your waist, barely hanging on by a thread. He twitched beneath you; enduring your teasing was as torturous for him as it was gratifying for you.

You released his sensitive earlobe with a smack and then slowly dipped your hot tongue into his ear, in and out, pressing deeper each time. You felt Heeseung’s jaw loosen in your grip, his mixture of pants and moans growing heavy as he nearly went limp under you.

“Ah… fuck…” Heeseung drawled. He could barely stand hearing such lewd sounds— could feel himself leaking and hard in his jeans as you turned his brain to mush.

“You like it when I fuck your ear, don’t you?”

Heeseung moaned incoherently, and you moved just beneath his ear to nip and kiss his neck harshly.

“Look at me, Heeseung.”

When he turned to you, he looked completely out of it. It was apparent that the sweet thing needed a break from his studies to let his mind go completely blank, only to be filled with the most manic thoughts of you.

“Kiss me properly like a good boy.”

He obeyed you, gingerly taking your face in his hands and capturing your lips with care. The shared moment gave you both time to breathe and remember where you were, in each other's arms, completely focused on pleasing the other.

And you wanted more of him, so much more.

“Can't stop thinking about you whether I’m awake or asleep,” Heeseung whispered, “Can’t stop touching myself.”

Shit.

Your brain conjured up images of Heeseung palming himself in the same bed you had slept in while you had been fast asleep, experiencing a wet dream. Even in his shower, since that was a probability…

“Yeah, baby? Messing around like we did tends to alter your brain chemistry for a bit, y’know?” The skeptic in you teased.

Heeseung placed a kiss under your jaw but scolded you, “Don’t be like that. I’ve wanted to share that with you for weeks.”

“Oh,” Despite blushing wildly, you answered coolly, “You sure like to take your time, then.”

“___…” Heeseung frowned at your seemingly nonchalant attitude.

“I’m just joking with you. I know you like to take your time and that you’re a man of action over words. I’ve come to love that about you, even though sometimes, it can drive me crazy,” You held his face in your hands and ran your fingers through his hair, before kissing him hard.

He liked that a lot, you felt his cock jump so you rocked into him.

Heeseung sulkily nudged his nose against the side of your neck, taking in your scent, “You do?”

“Yeah, I do. When you’re alone at night, all you need to do is call me, baby.”

He smiled this time, “I’ll definitely do that….”

You didn’t hesitate to connect your lips with his and let your tongue roam the deepest it had in his mouth, gently prodding at his throat to taste the rich flavor of buttercream against his tongue. When you tried to pull back, Heeseung retaliated and sucked on your tongue.

“Mmm—”

His boldness spurred you on to hungrily press your lips against his once more, his taste intoxicating to you. Feeling your inhibition slip completely, your panties began to soak through onto his lap, clit pulsing from the heat of his body under yours. You dragged your hands up beneath his shirt and caressed your fingertips over his warm, firm chest, causing him to shiver in pleasure.

He moaned when your fingers began to twist at his nipples, “I-I love it when you… play with me….”

“Yeah, baby, I can tell,” You regarded him with a curious smile before asking, “Do you like blowjobs?”

His eyes widened, but he slowly found himself nodding.

You giggled and tilted your head, “Not sure?”

He searched your eyes for judgement, “No, I’m— I’m, I mean, who wouldn’t? I’ve just never… gotten one before.”

I’m sorry— what?

The inevitable look of disbelief you gave him had him fidgeting in his chair, your hands coming to a still against his waist.

Well, fuck his ex to hell and back.

You shifted forward into his lap to press your breasts flush against his chest and caress his cheeks. “Well, I’d love to give you one. Would you like that?”

“I’d love that, please,” He bit his lip, his gaze on you already unfocused.

You were unable to help the giddy feeling in your chest as you kissed him and pressed the heel of your palm between his thighs.

Heeseung ground up against your hand as you felt him up through his jeans before swiftly releasing him from their confines. The subtle curve of his flushed cock was more beautiful than you imagined, as were the pulsing veins lining the underside of his length. He was heavy in your hands and soaked to the touch in his arousal, much like you were between your thighs.

“Oh, you must be aching. Been dying to taste you….”

“I’m not going anywhere this time,” With a shaky breath, Heeseung gathered the edge of his shirt in his grasp to reveal the sharp dips of his abdomen and the light trail of hair leading to his erection, watching as your lovely eyes turned dark.

“So thick, you’re unreal.…”

Slowly, you kneeled between his legs to cover his dripping cock in hungry kisses and played with his pre-cum on your tongue, immediately making him twitch and moan in want. You’ve been dying to reduce him to this mess of a state for the longest time.

“Like it when I kiss you all over?”

“Yesss— haahn,” His words slurred when you took the head of his cock past your lips and sucked while swirling your tongue over his milky slit.

He was stunned at how your delicate hands worked at the rest of his length, jerking him with a firmness he wasn’t used to but definitely loved. Despite your touch feeling foreign, it felt different than his own in the best possible way.

How would he last any longer than a minute? All of the sensations you were gracing him with were too much, too good.

“Your balls look so full, baby…” You could feel your mouth salivating as you tongued at his swollen tip.

“Ohh—“

Out of the corner of Heeseung’s eye, a figure whizzed by the window to his right, and he froze. He only experienced a second of relief when he realized it was just the back of an oblivious student passing by, but he was brought back to reality by the fact that the two of you could be discovered.

While you were obviously aware of this from the start, you sensed the sudden discomfort through the line of tension in his body.

“We could get caught, you know….”

You pulled off of his cock, and smirked, your fingers tightening around his girth, “I’m sure you knew exactly what you were doing when you invited me here. If you’re so worried, then keep your voice down,” You raised an eyebrow at him, “You are a bit loud, sweetheart.”

Heeseung tugged on his lips between his teeth, feeling timid despite the truth. He tried to steady his breathing and swallowed thickly as he glanced out the window for any sign of movement, although the majority of people minded their own business in the library.

“Heeseung!” He heard a familiar voice call.

The face of his friend, Jake, peeked out from behind a bookshelf through the window pane of the study room.

His knee immediately slammed up against the table the moment he felt you mouth at his balls. Heeseung’s breath caught in his lungs, sneakers skidding against the floor as he braced himself against the table. The boy was barely able to process the sheer amount of pleasure from the warm, tight suction of your wet lips around him.

He just wanted to melt to the floor.

“Fuck—“

In a panic, Heeseung barely managed to swallow a groan of pleasure when his friend shot him a look of concern through the window. From this angle, you weren’t visible from under the table, but Heeseung was sure he appeared oddly curled over his laptop, hands sprawled across the surface of his books and papers.

“You good man?” Jake slowly began to approach the door to the study room.

You heard Rin’s muffled voice, “Have you seen ___? She won’t pick up her phone.”

“I’m okay!” He insisted with a grunt, “Sorry, I haven't! Wait, no— Don’t come in, I just really need to focus right now,” Heeseung raised his voice slightly so they could hear him clearly through the glass.

You ran your tongue across the tender ridge between his balls before humming sweetly against his skin. Pre-cum bubbled at his slit and poured down his length onto your fingers, so you cruelly jerked his cock even quicker than before.

Heeseung pressed his fist against his lips to stifle a moan, trying to play it off as a cough before waving goodbye in Jake and Rin’s direction, hoping the two would get the hint.

Jake chuckled and shook his head, “Oh, alright then. See you at work!”

“See you, Heeseung. If you see her, tell her to stop ignoring me, she owes me dinner,” Rin winked.

“I— I will,” He did his best to plaster a smile on his face until your friends disappeared around the corner.

Once they left, you heard a sound of frustration rumble throughout Heeseung’s chest as he pushed away from the table to stare down at you with his hand covering his lips. His eyes nearly started to brim with tears behind his glasses as he watched you slurp around his swollen balls and then suck them tightly into your mouth.

You noticed his conflicted expression and cooed at him, “Does it feel that good, baby?” Then you were back to hollowing your cheeks around him.

More profanities spilled from his lips.

Knowing he was lucky to be sitting instead of standing, he let his knees fall open, his joints completely weak with pleasure. His reasoning skills were non-existent, but it registered in his mind that the girl he fantasized about day and night was so willingly stuffing her mouth with his filthy cock and balls. He could hardly believe it.

Admittedly, you were impressed at the pretense he managed to keep up in a moment of crisis, and as a reward for his self-control, you gave his balls one last harsh suck, then let them drop from your lips, “You did such a good job holding out there….”

Saliva pooled in your mouth before you spat along his length and continued to pump him at a messy pace, working your spit into the tip of his slippery cock. You rubbed your lips along his sensitive skin, planting open-mouthed kisses and teasing him with a view he was guaranteed to be daydreaming about for a while.

“___, please,” Heeseung begged for you and started playing with his nipples over his shirt— your baby just couldn’t keep still.

So fucking cute.

You gripped his base and let the tip of his cock slip against the soft palate of your mouth, then nearly all the way to the back of your throat with a gag.

“F-fuck— Ngh!”

The action jarred him immensely, and he looked absolutely fucked out with his glasses falling off his face, his hot breath fogging up the lenses. God, it stirred something deep and primal inside you to know you were able to bring him to such a vulnerable state.

You just adored this side of him, and could feel your panties sticking against your lower lips as slick dripped down your thighs. The soreness in your knees hardly registered while you began to thrust your hips, longing for friction even just from your panties; your swollen pussy throbbed incessantly.

The pace of your relentless bobbing quickened as you choked around his cock, unexpected tears stinging your eyes from how deep you were taking him. You let them spill down your cheeks, only wishing you could take him even deeper somehow, wanting his cock kissing and rubbing against your insides while he took you. The tell tale sensation of your clit twitching was the only warning your body gave you before you were overrun by an orgasm you couldn’t have anticipated.

With a muffled sob, your pussy fluttered then began clenching around nothing in deep contractions that rocked you to your core, clit begging for more stimulation as you somehow came untouched just from the mere thought of getting pummeled by Heeseung.

One hand remained curled around his cock while you shoved the other between your thighs to work rapid circles over your panties— and then you were coming even harder, spurts of cum creating a messy puddle at your knees.

He felt your uncontrollable moans shoot up his cock and was unable to escape from their encompassing vibrations.

“Fuck—!” The curse was drawn out, and gruff— full of desperation.

Despite how incredibly tensed up Heeseung was, his palms brushed atop your head as he threaded his trembling fingers through your hair, attempting to nudge you off of him. His whole body was trembling, but you wouldn’t let him, even as he shook his head, calling your name in a wrecked voice.

Unadulterated pleasure allowed you to ignore the discomfort and swallow around him as deeply as you could; he broke at the sensation of you choking around him.

Heeseung’s head lolled back in complete silence when he was left with no choice but to let himself go. His bare hips shot up from his seat against your face and made your throat convulse, rendering himself an absolute wreck under your touch.

You kept him suspended in pleasure for as long as you could, spit and cum spilling from the corners of your lips— even when he finished and fell limp on the chair, you licked him clean, suckling on his sensitive tip to the point where he was whimpering.

His incomparable taste only made you wetter, and your knees gave out as you collapsed on the floor. You rested your cheek against his thigh as you proudly played with his thick, musky cum on your tongue, exploring the texture. It tasted equally addictive.

“___,” Heeseung was blushing as he took your jaw in his hand, his thumb pressing into your lips, “You’re crazy. Spit that out….”

“What? No,” You frowned, “Where?”

Heeseung scanned the room in a panic for a non-existent trash can before he cupped his palms together, and held his hands up to your lips.

You nearly choked on his cum from laughter. However, you sat back and spread your legs to reveal your ruined panties glossed over with your release.

“You—“ Heeseung gasped as you pulled back the fabric from your skin to show off the way your pretty pussy glistened for him.

He didn’t want to believe his eyes when he witnessed his cum dribble from your pink tongue onto your skin like a sweet glaze. Prayed they were playing tricks on him when you clenched the second it hit and how you smeared it through your folds as you twitched and pleasured yourself for an intimate moment before licking his cum off your lithe fingers…

“You taste so yummy.”

And how dare you look at him with those eyes.

Heeseung snapped and was already hauling you to your feet; you just ensured there was no way you were leaving this room without getting fucked.

Now there wasn’t a single bone in him that cared if a library staff passed by and threatened to throw the two of you out. He would take his time finishing you off with them standing there, and then carry your limp body out of the building if he had to.

He’s never felt more deranged in his entire life, and that was a testament to you.

“That’s fucking dirty,” Heeseung gripped at your hips and held onto your skirt as he pushed you up against the wall, towering over you.

“No, baby,” You pulled him down against your lips and he melted into it regardless, “Not if it’s you.”

You sneaked your fingers over his spent cock, but he shoved your hand away. With a laugh, you allowed him to press his knee between your damp thighs and squirmed against him, “You’re getting hard again, Hee.”

The pleats of your skirt gathered in his grasp as he squeezed your ass hard enough to make you yelp. “Who liked sucking my cock so much that they squirted in their panties?”

“T-that was definitely a first time for me, too,” You grinned up at him as he worked on rolling your skirt high on your waist.

“You know what you just did tells me?”

He groped at the front of your breasts and kneaded them greedily over your sweatshirt, drawing heavy moans from your lips as your nipples remained hard under his hands.

“No bra,” He muttered under his breath.

It felt like your body was overheating again, “What— What does it tell you?”

The way Heeseung dragged his lips over your pulse, and gradually marked your skin with continuous suckles weakened your knees.

Your eyes shut tight from the overwhelming desire dripping from his voice, breath hot against your skin, “It tells me you’re a sweet little slut for my cum.”

“Ah, a cum slut,” You panted, “Says the one who couldn’t stop tasting me the other day. If anyone’s a slut for cum, it’s you, baby.”

‘Baby.’

Ever since you started to call him the term of endearment, he felt sick to his stomach and imagined himself doing one other thing besides kissing you senseless—

Heeseung fell to his knees, not once taking his eyes off you. It felt like the right place to be, it always had from the start.

You stopped breathing altogether when Heeseung removed his glasses and haphazardly slid them to the side on the floor. His half-lidded, hungry eyes bore into yours.

Even though all signs indicated you were in a dangerous spot with him, you continued, “You’re the one on your knees, ‘boutta—“

He gripped your thighs and licked a thick stripe against the soaked fabric of your swollen mound.

Oh god.

Your fingers curled into his messy locks to steady yourself.

“Arms behind your back. Keep them there until I’m done cleaning up this filthy pussy.”

You hesitated, “But—“

Heeseung slapped the back of your thigh so he could strip you out of your soiled panties. He gave you a look that had you swallowing your complaint.

Quietly, you locked your arms behind your back and leaned against the wall, although your expression was far from delighted, likely because you were just coming off of your high from being in control.

“___,” He spoke softly, “If it gets too much, you know you can tell me to stop at any time, right?”

“I know, and trust me, I will.”

“I want you to choose a safe word for today.”

“Ah,” You felt your cheeks flush, that was the first time anyone’s ever asked you that. “Buttercream…?”

His eyes creased in amusement. “Perfect. I should’ve guessed.”

Heeseung dragged his middle finger between your folds and watched a mixture of your fresh arousal and his cum string along his fingers; it gave away how much you were enjoying this. He licked the mess off his digit and splayed his hands over your tummy, feeling the warmth of your supple skin under your skirt.

“See!” You accused him.

“Behave,” He nipped at your inner thigh, “I’d hate to have to punish you again.”

“I’m sure you would— Aahn—“ The delicate kiss he planted on your clit had you pressing your mound against his face.

He might’ve been rough with you to start, but he knew you were sensitive from your orgasm. His hands pushed and pulled at your flesh, but his lips were tender on your pussy. He made you so wet when he laved his tongue against your clit and littered kisses over it, you could hardly help yourself from dribbling onto his chin.

“Oh, Heeseung….”

He hummed in satisfaction against your pussy when you moaned his name so sweetly.

Tension was ever present in your body, and sweat trickled down between your breasts at the effort of standing over Heeseung, enduring his torture when all you wanted to do was collapse on him.

The lapping of his tongue grew more insistent between your folds as he tasted the mess of himself there, as he tasted you.

“Hmnh— Aah!”

“Stay still. You’re not clean yet,” Heeseung pinned your hips against the wall and plunged his tongue into your slit to collect your arousal. It was impossible not to rock against his pretty face whenever his nose nudged your engorged clit.

Once his lips enveloped the nub, your vision blurred, and your knees shook as you tensed up, drawing to the tips of your toes while you fought to stay standing.

“Heeseung… Heeseung— Hee, I can’t!”

Just as your legs gave out and your back slid down the wall, Heeseung broke your fall and caught you in a heap on his lap.

“Heeseung,” You let out a frustrated whine against his neck.

Since you lacked the strength to stay right side up, your orgasm was ripped from you, and Heeseung stopped pleasuring you right before you were able to reach your high.

He gripped you by your thighs to lift you into his arms and stood up. You heard the shuffling of papers and textbooks dropping to the floor as Heeseung shoved them out of the way and laid you on top of the table.

“Poor baby couldn’t stay still. You know what happens now, right?”

Your surroundings melted away, and when your vision finally focused, all you could see was Heeseung hovering over you, caging you in below him. With your arousal covering his swollen lips and sweat dampening his hair, he looked like a complete wreck and genuinely the wildest you’ve ever seen him.

The lethal look in his eyes took you back to that night you said goodbye to him in front of the bus stop, but even then, they held only a fraction of the intensity compared to now.

You tried to gather yourself before speaking up but found it difficult to catch your breath.

“I’ll— I’ll be a good little slut for you,” Even though you felt fear, your words still had bite to them, “Is that what you want to hear?”

You weren’t sure what possessed you at that moment to give Heeseung a hard time, but you liked the surprised reaction you got out of him; it felt fair after he edged you the way he did.

“On second thought, why don’t I just—“ You dared to sink two fingers into your pussy and began pumping in and out of yourself. Rolling your neck to the side, you moaned softly at the intrusion.

Heeseung grabbed your wrist and yanked your fingers out of you. It was challenging to put up a fight when he slammed your hands back onto the table and held your arms above you, “Quit being a brat.”

You felt him reach for something on the table but realized it was the thin ribbon when he tied it tightly around your wrist in a knot.

“Is your cock that needy for me?”

“If we’re gonna talk about needy,” You felt Heeseung’s warm breath against your ear as he curled his fingers into you, “Let’s talk about this tight little cunt.”

Heeseung, you bad boy.

He was much, much dirtier and meaner than you gave him credit for. He caught on easily to what you liked, when you wanted it, and enjoyed it all the while.

You arched your back off the table. “Mmn— You hate being so sweet, don’t you?”

With one hand holding your trembling thigh open, Heeseung leaned down and spat against your clit. You gasped as your body jolted, head falling back against the table with a thump. You could feel it dribble down into your entrance as he added a third finger and moved faster inside of you, deeper.

Heeseung watched intently as your chest rose and fell at an irregular rate, feeling you squeeze around his knuckles.

“Fuck,” You licked at the corner of your lips and continued to mock him, “M-must hate being around such a needy girl like me who’ll use you for all your worth without a second thought—“

“Quiet,” He dug his fingers into the flesh of your cheeks, “Show me that tongue.”

You tilted your chin up and flashed your pink tongue at him without hesitation. That shameless expression of yours, paired with your dewy make-up, made his cock twitch heavily against the table as if you hadn’t just milked him dry.

“You look like a real pretty mess, baby.”

Heeseung’s cock brushed against you as he leaned in close. With no effort, he spat harshly against your tongue, and the second his saliva hit, your mouth watered. Heeseung chuckled darkly, seeing that your eyes couldn’t have rolled further into your head.

“Yummy?”

You relished his saliva on your tongue and excitedly wrapped your legs around his waist to pull him against your core, “Fuck me.”

He pulled out his fingers and enjoyed the sweet taste of you on them, before kissing you mindlessly.

“That’s more like it, ___.”

He tugged your ass to the edge of the table, then flipped you onto your stomach, forcing your feet to touch the floor.

“I have a condom,” He mentioned, running his hand down your spine, and was prepared to reach for one.

“No, let me feel you. I’m on a pill,” You revealed.

Heeseung lazily swiped his fingers back and forth against your folds. “I see how it is….”

“Mm, god,” You pressed your cheek against the table and could hear the rustling of his jeans.

“You can’t wait for me to fill you up with my hot cum, can you?”

“I can wait all day,” You lied through your teeth, “But clearly someone just likes to take their time— ah!”

You jerked against the table in surprise at the sharp slap of his palm over your ass. His eyes roved over the arch of your back and the curve of your ass appreciatively.

“I’ll take all the time that I want. Now, be honest.”

Your nails dug into your bound hands; you wanted him inside you so badly. “Fuck….”

Another harsh slap landed against the same cheek.

“You wore this little skirt to show off this tight ass and perfect pussy,” Heeseung snapped his wrist, landing continuous small blows atop your skin that grew harder each time, causing your skin to turn red. “I can do this all night, and I don’t care who comes around that corner.”

He stopped to grip your ass cheeks and watch your flesh bulge over his fingers. Shortly after, Heeseung smacked your ass with the most force he’s used to date, and you couldn’t contain your broken moan.

“You enjoy being what you are, and you know exactly what that is. Say it.”

Your lip began to sting from how tightly you were biting down on it to stifle your voice. He plunged his fingers back inside of you without warning, and you cried out, tensing around him in need, then he left you empty.

That felt so damn good.

Your plan to rile Heeseung up was indeed working, even though you weren’t sure where it’d lead the two of you. Even though you hadn’t ventured into such extreme dynamics in your sex life, with the way Heeseung submissively fell into step by your side earlier, you were burning to find out if you could take the heat.

“You—You’re gonna have to make me,” You huffed.

Silence. Then more swishing of fabric.

Heeseung neatly gathered the ends of your hair and looped the strands around his hand until he was sinking his grip into your scalp. His bare chest pressed against your back, and at the same time, his rumbly voice tickled your ear.

“If we were back at my place, I’d make you do all sorts of things…” The promise in his voice caused your skin to break out in goosebumps, “… But making you admit something as simple as that can certainly be done right now.”

The swollen tip of his cock pressed against your entrance, and there was hardly time to brace yourself when Heeseung eased into you at a begrudgingly slow pace. As he fed his raw cock into you, your walls contracted deliciously around his wide girth.

“Ah!”

“Easy, let me in,” He urged, thrusting in and out of you at a rather sweet tempo; he had yet to bottom out. “How else is my little slut going to get her daily dose of cum?”

A gush of your arousal soaked his length and trickled down your thighs as Heeseung worked you open.

“So wet but so tight. Maybe I should just—“

He slammed the remaining way in, and pushed you up further onto the table. His hand sank into your hip, so you stayed right where he wanted you.

“Oh, god!”

Before you could fully adjust, he began to piston his hips into yours at a ruthless pace that made you drool uncontrollably. You tried to hide your moans, but Heeseung’s hold on your hair made you struggle to steady yourself on your forearms if you didn’t want it to be painful.

Intent on making you work a little, Heeseung guided you to curl up higher onto your elbows and eventually your palms with the slight tug of his fist. Sweat gathered at your temple from the effort of stabilizing yourself.

His other hand moved from your hip to caress your bouncing tits under your sweatshirt, then smooth over your throat so he could bend you back even further and look you in the eye.

That was when you realized he was going easy on you. Even with the unceasing thrusts of his cock, you could see him take a moment to tentatively check up on your state of being, and your heart swelled.

“How’s that feel, baby?” Heeseung swiped at the drool beading along your lips, and you saw him note the tears that threatened to spill from the corners of your eyes.

“So good, I can feel you so, so deep… I can take more,” You insisted.

The clapping of his hips against your ass began to slow significantly, causing you to draw in a deep, painful breath.

No, no, no—

“But, I thought you said you’re not my cum slut?” He released your hair as he straightened up, leaving you longing for his warmth against your back. “I just remembered, you’re not my little whore….”

So cruel.

He could feel your pussy fighting to keep him inside, but only his angry red tip remained as you tried to push back against him.

“No, don’t stop!” You begged, “I’m your… your….”

“You’re my what?”

Tears of frustration finally spilled down your cheeks which were burning from embarrassment as you helplessly stared at the blurry wall of the study room. “I’m your fucking cum slut. I’m— I’m your whore—“

You felt his strong hands wrap around your waist and arm to tug you up to sitting. He slid your bound hands over his head so you could cling to his neck as he pressed close to your tear-stained face.

“Mm,” Heeseung soothed you, kissing your tears away, “And you’re so, so precious to me. You’re all mine, baby— Isn’t that right?”

“Mhm,” You hiccuped against his lips as his thumbs kneaded your puffy nipples, feeling like you were in a roller coaster of a dream.

There wasn’t a gleam of light in his eyes, yet you felt their heat consuming you. It felt natural to be held by him like this, with your sweaty chests pressed together and your ankles hooked at his lower back, breathing each other’s air.

It never felt like this before, for you.

Heeseung filled you to the brim with his cock once more, “Good girl.”

The mere stretch of his girth had you clenching erratically, and likewise, you had him on the verge of coming a second time which was a feat in itself. Each quick drag of his cock along your walls was a solace; it made his balls spasm, and he found his thrusts growing more chaotic by the second. To be able to feel you uninhibited like this was a pleasure he couldn’t have fathomed, ever.

“Bet you can’t even imagine how good you’re making my cock feel right now—“

Heeseung was so big, and never even came close to slipping out of you when he’d swiftly wind his hips up only to slam back in. Since his cock made you feel as if you’d burst, his tip kissed the deepest parts of your insides and made you feel completely inundated by his obsession to ruin you.

“Think you’re gonna be able to walk up in front of the class without looking like you got fucked every which way?”

You shook your head vigorously. He loved the way you tugged the damp hair at his nape harshly as a warning and could tell his words were getting to you.

“I know, baby.”

“H-Heeseung—” You felt your tummy start to tense up, and your clit throb madly, “Ah-aah—”

“That’s it, beautiful—“

There was no need to say a word beyond his name, Heeseung knew you were ready. His deft fingers stroked your sensitive clit with precision, and he watched you come undone on his cock with rapt attention, like the most fascinating visual treat was unfolding before him.

You were so entrenched in pleasure that you couldn’t utter a single word; white blinded your vision as your head fell back, and you felt Heeseung secure you as you seized around him, toes curling in your sneakers.

With a yank, the collar of your sweatshirt slipped over your shoulder, and you felt him sink his teeth into the side of your neck— swore you heard a deep growl rip from his throat across your skin. It didn’t hurt at all, it just made you feel so weak.

Heeseung knew he could count on you going utterly limp, and he stuffed you silly with his cock until his creamy cum spilled and sweetened your insides. His own limbs threatened to give out from the force of his release, but he braced himself over you with heavy pants until you tugged him down, wanting to feel his comforting weight on you.

He groaned but cherished your embrace and swallowed your pleased sighs with a kiss that made it known you were loved. Heeseung licked over your bruised, glistening skin and murmured your name.

“I’m really proud of you, baby, I know that was a lot. How do you feel?”

A single groan was your only response as you kept your eyes shut tight from pure exhaustion and bliss.

“___.” Heeseung insisted on hearing your voice.

“I’m fantastic…” That earned you a smile from him.

Satisfied, Heeseung removed your clenched fists from around his neck and held your wrists in place to snap a taut portion of the ribbon with his teeth. The release of pressure was a relief; your skin had subtle marks from the ribbon that would disappear within an hour, but Heeseung rubbed gently at the slight indents while looking you over.

“I’m not crazy,” Somehow you opened your eyes a smidge, head still pounding with dull pleasure, “You’re crazy.”

He kissed over your wrists and flushed knuckles. “Too crazy…?”

“No. No, I loved it. All of it,” You reassured him, already anticipating aches and pains.

“Was there anywhere I went overboard? You can always tell me, even if you think of something later.”

Heeseung pulled out slowly, and you watched as his warm cum oozed out of your entrance, pooling onto the table by your ass. He wore a teasing smile as he made sure to spread his cum over your pussy and then give it a light slap.

You shuddered at the sensation. If he wasn’t careful, he’d definitely turn you on again.

“Oh my god. Um, uh…”

You were able to breathe easy when he returned to cleaning you up as gently as possible with a pack of wipes he unearthed from his bag.

“I really liked it all. It’s fun putting up a fight when you boss me around,” He snorted when you playfully tapped under his chin, “I guess you could always stand to be a little meaner to me, Hee.”

“Really? We’ll have to chat about that then,” He proposed.

“Sure… Mm,” You twitched as he dabbed a fresh wipe between your sticky thighs. Heeseung noticed and squeezed your thigh comfortingly.

“Don’t bother trying to move for the next five minutes. I’ll clean up here, then let’s get you something to eat.”

“Okay. Don’t you have work?” While you rearranged your clothing, you glanced out the window overlooking the campus and couldn’t believe the sun had already set. At least a couple of hours must’ve passed.

Heeseung scurried about the room to gather his shirt and the abused textbooks he’d discarded in the heat of the moment.

“I took today and tomorrow off for finals. I’m all yours.”

Heeseung knew exactly what to say to make your face warm.

You reached for a macaron off to the side and licked at the filling as your legs dangled over the edge of the tabletop. “Then can we pick up Thai and eat at your place? You still owe me some feedback on my project.”

“Yes. We can do anything you’d like.”

“Can I shower with you and sleep over again?”

Heeseung paused in his tracks and flashed you a knowing smile, “I’d like that a lot.”

You swiped his sweaty bangs away from his brown eyes that somehow still had a touch of naïveté in them and kissed him with a mouthful of buttercream. After several seconds, the books slipped from his grasp onto the floor, but neither of you flinched.

The two of you parted only to stare at each other in heat until you traced at his lower lip and he licked at the tips of your delicate fingers, placing kisses on each one— an ardent expression of devotion blended with desire.

All that you’ve ever wanted.

“Wouldn’t you, baby?”

—

A/N CONT.

Waaah, I loved writing this fic so much, almost as much as I love Heeseung. Please like, reblog or leave feedback if you enjoyed! Comments are always greatly appreciated 💗

For Hee’s characterization, I wanted to capture the different facets of what I think makes him loveable, and I adore how he came to life here. I reworked this fic a lot until I was satisfied. About 5 months has passed since I started working on this, and since then I’ve been working on my career, questioned my life choices because of it, wanted to give up in general, turned 24 (HELP), slept way too much, saw Enha 3x and got a flying kiss from Hee! 😵‍💫

Maybe I’ll share some concert photos bc he’s fucking stunning (they all are) and they put on a sublime performance through and through.

Anyways, I’m still figuring out life like the rest of you are. Woo.

Even though I write fiction and smut for fun, I wanted to make sure this was still a quality read with hopes to inspire more people to write about what fulfills them first and foremost. Before I abruptly left for a while, I felt a weird pressure from this site to perform and it hampered my creativity, making me super self-conscious. I think a lot of people can relate. I don’t want to sweat it though, because that can take the fun out of things.

Thus, any future fic posts will be like today’s; less frequent and more intentional when I’m ready. If you don’t mind that, feel free to stick around for the ride (a lot of you already do understand and I’m grateful). I’ll probably lurk a bit more here again since I’ve always liked Tumblr more than any other platform, you guys are my preferred deranged people heheh.

I did write NIIY so that I can continue Hee’s + MC’s story if I ever wanted to. If you followed me over half a year ago, then you know I lost all my fic drafts. Well, by a fucking miracle, I managed to recover everything just last week from my deleted google drive which is a MAJOR WIN. There’s a pretty obvious hint about what one of my next AU fics might be which was in my old drafts, but I’ll give more of an update of future fics when they’re closer to being finished which is likely months out.

If you ever want writing advice or just wanna talk Enha/recc fics feel free to tag or message me. 🙂⚰️

— P.

#heeseung smut #heeseung x female reader #heeseung x reader #enhypen smut #lee heeseung smut #heeseung hard hours #enhypen hard hours #heeseung fic #heeseung ff #heeseung fanfic #enhypen hard thoughts #enhypen fanfic #enhypen ff #jake smut #sunghoon smut #jay smut #jongseong smut #jaeyun smut

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simply-ivanka · 1 month

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How the Biden-Harris Economy Left Most Americans Behind

A government spending boom fueled inflation that has crushed real average incomes.

By The Editorial Board -- Wall Street Journal

Kamala Harris plans to roll out her economic priorities in a speech on Friday, though leaks to the press say not to expect much different than the last four years. That’s bad news because the Biden-Harris economic record has left most Americans worse off than they were four years ago. The evidence is indisputable.

President Biden claims that he inherited the worst economy since the Great Depression, but this isn’t close to true. The economy in January 2021 was fast recovering from the pandemic as vaccines rolled out and state lockdowns eased. GDP grew 34.8% in the third quarter of 2020, 4.2% in the fourth, and 5.2% in the first quarter of 2021. By the end of that first quarter, real GDP had returned to its pre-pandemic high. All Mr. Biden had to do was let the recovery unfold.

Instead, Democrats in March 2021 used Covid relief as a pretext to pass $1.9 trillion in new spending. This was more than double Barack Obama’s 2009 spending bonanza. State and local governments were the biggest beneficiaries, receiving $350 billion in direct aid, $122 billion for K-12 schools and $30 billion for mass transit. Insolvent union pension funds received a $86 billion rescue.

The rest was mostly transfer payments to individuals, including a five-month extension of enhanced unemployment benefits, a $3,600 fully refundable child tax credit, $1,400 stimulus payments per person, sweetened Affordable Care Act subsidies, an increased earned income tax credit including for folks who didn’t work, housing subsidies and so much more.

The handouts discouraged the unemployed from returning to work and fueled consumer spending, which was already primed to surge owing to pent-up savings from the Covid lockdowns and spending under Donald Trump. By mid-2021, Americans had $2.3 trillion in “excess savings” relative to pre-pandemic levels—equivalent to roughly 12.5% of disposable income.

So much money chasing too few goods fueled inflation, which was supercharged by the Federal Reserve’s accommodative policy. Historically low mortgage rates drove up housing prices. The White House blamed “corporate greed” for inflation that peaked at 9.1% in June 2022, even as the spending party in Washington continued.

In November 2021, Congress passed a $1 trillion bill full of green pork and more money for states. Then came the $280 billion Chips Act and Mr. Biden’s Green New Deal—aka the Inflation Reduction Act—which Goldman Sachs estimates will cost $1.2 trillion over a decade. Such heaps of government spending have distorted private investment.

While investment in new factories has grown, spending on research and development and new equipment has slowed. Overall private fixed investment has grown at roughly half the rate under Mr. Biden as it did under Mr. Trump. Manufacturing output remains lower than before the pandemic.

Magnifying market misallocations, the Administration conditioned subsidies on businesses advancing its priorities such as paying union-level wages and providing child care to workers. It also boosted food stamps, expanded eligibility for ObamaCare subsidies and waved away hundreds of billions of dollars in student debt. The result: $5.8 trillion in deficits during Mr. Biden’s first three years—about twice as much as during Donald Trump’s—and the highest inflation in four decades.

Prices have increased by nearly 20% since January 2021, compared to 7.8% during the Trump Presidency. Inflation-adjusted average weekly earnings are down 3.9% since Mr. Biden entered office, compared to an increase of 2.6% during Mr. Trump’s first three years. (Real wages increased much more in 2020, but partly owing to statistical artifacts.)

Higher interest rates are finally bringing inflation under control, which is allowing real wages to rise again. But the Federal Reserve had to raise rates higher than it otherwise would have to offset the monetary and fiscal gusher. The higher rates have pushed up mortgage costs for new home buyers.

Three years of inflation and higher interest rates are stretching American pocketbooks, especially for lower income workers. Seriously delinquent auto loans and credit cards are higher than any time since the immediate aftermath of the 2008-09 recession.

Ms. Harris boasts that the economy has added nearly 16 million jobs during the Biden Presidency—compared to about 6.4 million during Mr. Trump’s first three years. But most of these “new” jobs are backfilling losses from the pandemic lockdowns. The U.S. has fewer jobs than it was on track to add before the pandemic.

What’s more, all the Biden-Harris spending has yielded little economic bang for the taxpayer buck. Washington has borrowed more than $400,000 for every additional job added under Mr. Biden compared to Mr. Trump’s first three years. Most new jobs are concentrated in government, healthcare and social assistance—60% of new jobs in the last year.

Administrative agencies are also creating uncertainty by blitzing businesses with costly regulations—for instance, expanding overtime pay, restricting independent contractors, setting stricter emissions limits on power plants and factories, micro-managing broadband buildout and requiring CO2 emissions calculations in environmental reviews.

The economy is still expanding, but business investment has slowed. And although the affluent are doing relatively well because of buoyant asset prices, surveys show that most Americans feel financially insecure. Thus another political paradox of the Biden-Harris years: Socioeconomic disparities have increased.

Ms. Harris is promising the same economic policies with a shinier countenance. Don’t expect better results.

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graysoncritic · 5 months

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A (Negative) Analysis of Tom Taylor's Nightwing Run - Who is Dick Grayson?

Introduction Who is Dick Grayson? What Went Wrong? Dick's Characterization What Went Wrong? Barbara Gordon What Went Wrong? Bludhaven (Part 1, Part 2) What Went Wrong? Melinda Lin Grayson What Went Wrong? Bea Bennett What Went Wrong? Villains Conclusion Bibliography

When asked to describe Dick Grayson’s character, many will say he is good. He is Bruce Wayne’s light, the person he could have been had someone offered Bruce understanding and guidance after his trauma. Dick is a leader. A big brother. A mentor. He is someone people can look up to, someone others can trust. He is “The Heart of the DCU.”

(Williamson, Joshua, writer. Sampere, Daniel; Herbert, Jack; Camuncoli, Giuseppe; Sandoval, Rafa, illustrators. Dawn of the DCU. Dark Crisis on Infinite Earth no. 7, e-book ed. DC Comics, 2022. pp. 28)

Characters, much like real people, are more than just a trait. Jason Todd is more than “angry.” Bruce Wayne is more than just “brooding.” Tim Drake is more than just “smart.” Characters are multidimensional. They have multiple facets, some of which may contradict one another because characters, just like people, are not created out of mathematical equations where two plus two always equals four. Humans are emotional. Their being is informed by past experiences, biology, culture. The intricate combination of these vastly different factors leads to inconsistency in rationality that may not always be logical. Dick being “good” does not mean that Dick can’t be angry, that he can’t make mistakes, or that he can’t lash out or be unreasonable, especially when stressed. Dick being “good” does not mean he can’t brood, does not mean he can’t be suspicious, nor does it mean he will always like everyone. Dick being “good” does not mean he can’t be his own worst enemy, that he can’t be calculative and strategic, that he always needs to be upbeat, or that he can’t be the most intelligent person in the room.

(Grayson, Devin, writer. Zircher, Patch, illustrator. Slow Burn. Nightwing no 93, e-book ed. DC Comics, 2004. pp. 10-11)

Sam Humphries also demonstrated this during his brilliant story, The Untouchable. There, Dick’s relentless determination to save people from the Judge’s machinations grows so intense that it becomes self-destructive. The story demonstrates how Dick’s “goodness” comes from a form of toxic perfectionism that has been with him since he was a child — a perfectionism born of a low self-worth that eats at him from the inside out

(Humphries, Sam, writer. Janson, Klaus; Campbell, Jamal, illustrators. Ruthless. Nightwing: Rebirth no. 37, e-book ed. DC Comics, 2018. pp. 08)

Even the 2003 animated series Teen Titans understood that in trying to catch the bad guy — almost always Slade Wilson in the case of that show — Dick could sometimes go too far.

Dick’s goodness causes him to see himself as a danger to not just his loved ones, but everyone who stands near him. He carries the world on his shoulders, taking the blame for every tragedy and seeing every death as a personal failure. When pushed to its worst, Dick’s goodness becomes an obsession which pushes others away, leading to isolation as Dick’s entire existence narrows down to accomplishing one specific goal.

It is this reductive characterization of Dick – the idea that his one defining trait is that he is “good” – that leads many to misunderstand the appeal of his character. As I mentioned above, characters are multi-facet, and Dick is no exception. However, the ways in which Dick is multi-facet are very different from the ways in which most characters are multi-facet.

Please do not mistake what I am about to say by claiming these other characters are not complex. Or even that some of them might not subvert popular tropes. What I mean saying is that Dick’s complexity is demonstrated differently than what I believe most people are accustomed to.

For example, everyone knows Bruce Wayne keeps his feelings locked up inside. He compartmentalizes his emotions and his trauma in order to solve the puzzle put ahead of him. But everyone – characters and readers alike – understands Bruce is doing this. Everyone can tell that he is hiding something from others and keeping them at a distance. The reader is always aware of how Bruce’s trauma informs his actions, his interactions, and his thought process.

(Grayson, Devin; Barr, Mike W., writers. Davis, Alan; Robinson, Roger, illustrator. Procedure. Batman: Gotham Knights no. 25, e-book ed. DC Comics, 2002. pp. 20)

Take, for instance, Part One of Murderer/Fugitive. Although a major source of tension from the story surrounds the question of Bruce’s innocence, there’s never any question in the minds of the reader and the character that Bruce is hiding something. Tim Drake questions whether Bruce truly did kill Vesper Child and is hiding his motive, while Dick is certain of Bruce’s innocence and instead believes Bruce is hiding his alibi or the clues that would help them find the real murderer. Barbara Gordon, for her part, wavers between the two, but like Tim, Dick, and the reader, she is certain of one thing: Bruce Wayne is hiding something from her, from them… From us.

Similarly, Jason Todd’s anger comes from a place of hurt and a place of love, from insecurities and a need to prove himself. But like Bruce, all of that is clear to see. His anger and his hurt are simple to understand. Please, do not mistake this for me claiming that Jason is not a complex character — instead, I’m stating that his temperament, his trauma, and his actions are so interlinked that they are clear for the reader to see. His character, while rich, is more accessible. It does not take a lot of effort to know that Jason is angry because of what was done to him. It is easy to see that he is hurt because he equates Bruce’s love to the Joker’s death, and therefore sees Bruce’s failure to avenge him “proof” that Bruce does not love him as a son.

(Winick, Judd, writer. Battle, Eric, illustrator. All They Do is Watch Us Kill: Part 3: It Only Hurts When I Laugh. Batman no. 650, e-book ed. DC Comics, 2006. pp. 13) Dick, on the other hand, does not wear his emotions, his motivations, or his goals on his sleeve. Dick keeps his secrets not by constructing an impenetrable wall like Bruce, but through misdirection. This is why those who are unfamiliar with Dick misinterpret him so much. They take what is on the surface at face value because they do not have the character history to serve as context to understand what lies beneath As a Dick Grayson fan (From this moment forward will be referred to as Dick Grayson Fan A) said “good Dick writers teach readers how to read him and bad Dick writers just have that surface level interpretation.” (I was actually talking to her about this idea and how I’m presenting it in this essay. The example I gave was one she suggested after I asked if she could think of good moments that exemplified this idea.)

As an example, we can look at this moment from Grayson, in which Dick sucks a lollipop while receiving a mission assignment. Someone who is not familiar with Dick and is looking at Dick and Helena’s interaction might be easily fooled into thinking that Dick is the pretty, strong, but annoyingly childish and slightly dumb male character who contrasts the serious, intelligent, and highly competent woman. The characters’ expressions, actions, and the onomatopoeias are certainly leaning into that familiar trope.

(King, Tom; Seeley, Tim, writers. Janin, Mikel, illustrator. The Raid. Grayson no. 04, e-book ed. DC Comics, 2014. pp. 02) However, Dick Grayson fans know that when it comes to the mission, Dick is as serious as Batman himself. Highly intelligent, Dick is considered to by many the world’s second greatest detective (there are many instances in canon when he is referred to as such), making him more than just a pretty face who knows how to fight (It should be noted that in this tweet, writer Tom King also ranks Dick as the second best fighter in the Bat Family). Furthermore, context matters. Dick is deep undercover throughout the duration of Grayson, and this scene is set shortly after the death of one of the agents of the organization Dick has infiltrated. In other words, Dick is in a highly stressful situation without allies to provide him with back-up or emotional support.

His posturing in this scene, then, can be seen as an attempt to misguide and misdirect. He does not wish to let those around him – people he is not sure yet if he can trust – know the full extent of his capabilities or perceive any potential weaknesses in his value of human life. Positioning himself as the annoying and childish pretty boy who does not pay much attention to serious matters is a strategic choice that his fans readily pick up on.

That is not to say that Dick’s smiles are all lies. Rather, Dick’s upbeat nature is a natural aspect of his personality that he will exaggerate depending on the setting in order to keep his privacy. He is a natural performer, a showman, and so he utilizes misdirection to his advantage.

A classic example of Dick’s misdirection and how he is misinterpreted by others is how some would characterize him as an “attention seeker.” However, the term “attention seeker” has negative connotations as it implies someone who seeks the spotlight at the expense of others.

That is the opposite of who Dick is. But that’s not Dick is. As a mentor, a leader, and an older brother, Dick will often invite others to join the conversation. He pays attention to what they say, he strategizes based on their needs.

(Johns, Geoff; Wolfman, Marv, writers. Nauck, Todd, illustrator. The Brave and the Bold. Teen Titans no. 33, e-book ed. DC Comics, 2006. pp. 15)

Simply put, Dick is incredibly empathetic and always in tune with those around him. This is why he works so well as both a Bat and a Titan, and why his personality in each team is so distinct. As a Bat, Dick is often portrayed as cheerful, his bad puns are meant to cut the tension, the is the shoulder for his family to cry one; as a Titan, Dick is a leader, he is a strategist, he demands others take things seriously and will not tolerate slacking off, he is trying to instill good work ethics and ensure that the team dynamic stays in top shape.

As JL Bell writes in their essay Success in Stasis: Dick Grayson’s Thirty Years as a Boy Wonder for the book Dick Grayson, Boy Wonder: Scholars and Creators on 75 years of Robin, Nightwing, and Batman explains, “in contrast to how Robin behaved with Batman. [Dick] is usually [the Titans’] serious leader.” (Bells, JL “Success in Stasis: Dick Grayson’s Thirty Years as a Boy Wonder.”Dick Grayson, Boy Wonder: Scholars and Creators on 75 years of Robin, Nightwing, and Batman edited by Kristen L. Geaman, McFarland & Company, Inc., Publishers, 2015, pp. 22)

That is because Dick knows that when he is with his family, he needs to play one role, and when he is with his friends, he needs to play another. The Bats have their strengths, so Dick adjusts himself to play up on those strengths while also making up for its weakness. Same thing with the Titans.

Mark Waid perfectly exemplifies Dick’s adaptability when portraying him in his World’s Finest (2022) and World’s Finest: Teen Titans (2023). There, Dick brings levity to his work with Batman and Superman, keeping an upbeat attitude while still taking the job seriously.

(Waid, Mark, writer. Mora, Dan, illustrator. Manhunt. Batman/Superman: World’s Finest no. 14, e-book ed. DC Comics, 2023. pp. 07)

Yet, when he is with the Titans and feels the weight of leadership on his shoulders, he is more serious, being the one to get the Titans to focus on their objective, getting them to look at the big picture, while also making the most of their abilities as individuals and as a team.

(Waid, Mark, writer. Mora, Dan, illustrator. Team Spirit. Batman/Superman: World’s Finest no. 08, e-book ed. DC Comics, 2022. pp. 05)

So yes, Dick is a performer, a showman, but he is not “attention seeking.” In fact, his use of misdirection illustrates that Dick is a very private person. And how could he not be? While it is true that Dick grew up in the circus, after his parents’ death, he went to live with Bruce, and in doing so, was put into an intense amount of public scrutiny. The murders of John and Mary Grayson happened on a literal stage with dozens of people watching. As a result, Dick’s very private tragedy became a spectacle.

After the death of Dick’s parents, Dick isn’t allowed to disappear into anonymity. He is not afforded privacy to grieve. He is taken in by Bruce Wayne, Gotham’s most famous playboy, billionaire, philanthropic who is also a bit of a selfish airhead (at least, that is how the public perceives him), and as a result, Dick is subjected to an immense amount of public scrutiny, not just from the media, but also from Gotham’s elites, and even his peers at school. Not only that, as Robin, the Boy Wonder and the first ever sidekick, Dick also is put on the spotlight while also being aware of the necessity of keeping secrets.

As a result of having his tragedy broadcasted and having a new mission that requires secrecy, Dick becomes a very private person. He is not an open book; instead, he is meticulous about what he shares and he prevents people from looking at what is not of their business by using his showmanship.

Furthermore, Dick’s role as a performer who, as Joshua R Pangborn describes in his essay about the Robin costume, “experiences […] the full spectrum of emotions, each and every night, for the catharsis of others,” transforms him into a literal vehicle for emotional catharsis and empathy. (Pangborn, Joshua R “Fashioning Himself a Hero: Robin’s Costume and its Role in Shaping His Identity”Dick Grayson, Boy Wonder: Scholars and Creators on 75 years of Robin, Nightwing, and Batman edited by Kristen L. Geaman, McFarland & Company, Inc., Publishers, 2015, pp. 42) In their essay, Bell argues that while Bruce Wayne embodied “the mid-century ideal of the American male,” who is always “in control of his feelings, not letting them overcome his judgment nor displaying them broadly,” Dick Grayson “can express deep emotions, not only his own but Bruce’s.” As such, Dick often acts as a sounding board for his family, friends, team, and romantic partners. As a performer, Dick embodies whatever persona is necessary to create a safe environment where others can process their emotions and achieve catharsis. (Bells, JL “Success in Stasis: Dick Grayson’s Thirty Years as a Boy Wonder.”Dick Grayson, Boy Wonder: Scholars and Creators on 75 years of Robin, Nightwing, and Batman edited by Kristen L. Geaman, McFarland & Company, Inc., Publishers, 2015, pp. 12)

Dick's performance, then, comes not just from a desire for privacy but also from a deep place of empathy. It comes from a desire to help others work through their own stories. This is why he can step into other's narratives without overshadowing them. In fact, he’ll often elevate those characters by complimenting them and creating the circumstances needed for them to shine. As a performer, Dick is naturally adaptable and always willing to fill the role necessary to create the space required for others to work through their emotional needs.

But, as with everything, Dick’s performance is also a result of his destructive perfectionism. Dick equates “good” to “perfect.” He believes that he can only be wanted by Bruce if he is the perfect Robin, he can only be wanted by his friends if he is the perfect leader, he can only be wanted by his siblings if he is the perfect older brother, he can only be wanted by his partners if he is the perfect boyfriend. As Humphries’s The Untouchable demonstrates, because Dick was raised in an environment where failure could be fatal, he internalized these stakes to every aspect of his life.

(Humphries, Sam, writer. Janson, Klaus; Campbell, Jamal, illustrators. Ruthless. Nightwing: Rebirth no. 37, e-book ed. DC Comics, 2018.pp 20

And it doesn’t help that all of the people in Dick’s life do prove that assertion right. Everyone holds “the Heart of the DCU” to an impossible standard that, when Dick fails to live up to it, he is crucified and punished for it. If he tries to be perfect, he's told off for being the Golden Boy, but if he fails to be the Golden Boy, then he is told off because he let people down when they were relying on him. Ironically, this is done by characters in-universe real-world fans. As Dick Grayson Fan A pointed out in a discussion about depiction of Batman Family members killing their antagonists, “there's always this pressure to have Dick ~fall from grace~ and I do lowkey resent that. Dick should be allowed to be good, not punished for it.”

This creates an environment where Dick constantly needs to maintain perfection in order to be in everyone’s good graces. Failure is not met with understanding and comfort, but with punishment. No one expects him to fail, no one likes when he fails, no one forgives him when he fails. That also means that Dick doesn’t feel safe opening up about his insecurities because to do so would mean “proving” he cannot stay on the pedestal he’s been put on. And so, he is forced to perform the role of a “perfect good guy” by using misdirection so people won’t abandon him for being human (this was said during a very interesting discussion and addressed both canon and fanfic writers. There’s a lot that can be said about Dick’s parentification and how that is viewed in the context of fandom. This is not the essay for it, and, to be perfectly honest, I’m not entirely sure I’m the best person to open said discussion).

Taylor does not portray Dick as someone with this many layers. Taylor’s Dick is perfect simply because he is good. He is the perfect friend, who is always happy to support others. He is Barbara Gordon’s perfect boyfriend. Dick is the perfect older brother, the perfect son, perfect model citizen.

But by equating being “good” with being “perfect” without exploring the negative consequences that come from such pressures, Taylor robs Dick of the emotions that humanize him. In Taylor’s run, a good person will not be angry at their friends, will not be frustrated with their siblings, will never disagree with their romantic partner. This strips Dick of all of his nuances, and instead reduces him to a non-descriptive “everyman hero” with a limited emotional range whose only narrative purpose is to serve as a blank canvas for readers to project themselves into.

Simply put, Taylor is uninterested in writing Dick as a character because he does not see value in Dick for who he is. Nightwing #105, which removes Dick from its story in order to allow its readers to “be Nightwing” illustrates how Taylor and DC at large only value Dick his connections, not for who he is.

(Chen, Jess [jesswchen]. “Tweet Message.” 18 March 2023, https://twitter.com/jesswchen/status/1636971185782259716?s=20.)

Be Dick, and you can be good friends with Superman! You can be Batman’s son! You can be Batgirl’s boyfriend! Robin’s big brother! Flash’s best friend!

As a Dick Grayson fan, this feels insulting. I’m not saying Dick needs to be anyone’s favorite character, or that anyone even needs to like him. I’m not interested in dictating anyone’s taste. But to someone who loves Dick Grayson, it is insulting to think that those responsible for his stories fail to see his value. To Taylor, the person who, as the writer for both Nightwing and Titans, has the most control over Dick’s portrayal, Dick is nothing but a tool that will soon wear off its use.

In treating Dick as such, Taylor and DC send a clear message to those of who love Dick, and that message is that the things that make Dick special, the things that made us love him, do not matter.

For his near century long existence, Dick served as a stand in for those who feel othered in society. While I do not have the time to go into a gender studies and queer reading of Dick, it is notable that his character often spoke to many people who felt different. As Mary Borsellino’s 2006 essay “A lot like Robin if you close your eyes” Displacement of meaning in the Post-Modern Age explains:

The things which a Robin-like figure can contain, but which are cut off from being embodied by Robin himself, lose none of their importance simply because they are rejected by a restrictive, corporate-controlled status quo […] It's worth inspecting what was excised from Robin, and charting where these elements instead found articulation: in those from lower socioeconomic backgrounds; non-White people; young single parents; and HIV positive people. And, especially, girls and women (Borsellino, Mary “‘A lot like Robin if you close your eyes.’ Displacement of meaning in the Post-Modern Age, 2006)

While Borsellio’s essay focuses on the Robin mantle, as the creator of said mantle, such assertions can also be applied to Dick. In fact, Bell concurs with the idea that those who were othered have always took a preference to Dick when stating that “Robin’s status as the littlest guy in the fight increases the character’s appeal for some children, especially the ‘youngest and weakest.’” In other words, it is crucial to Dick’s character that he is not an “everyman hero.” He is not the hero of or beloved by the average individual, but rather by those who were ostracized by society.

Taylor’s writing exemplifies the “restrictive, corporate-controlled status quo” imposed by DC that Borsellino speaks of. His characterization is the manufactured image that removes Dick’s “socially deviant/rejected” qualities his fans loved about him so that he can be palatable to a more mainstream audience. (Bells, JL “Success in Stasis: Dick Grayson’s Thirty Years as a Boy Wonder.”Dick Grayson, Boy Wonder: Scholars and Creators on 75 years of Robin, Nightwing, and Batman edited by Kristen L. Geaman, McFarland & Company, Inc., Publishers, 2015, pp. 11)

This, of course, is not necessarily new. As Mason Downey argues in their 2015 essay In Defense of Dick Grayson: Objectification, Sexuality, and Subtext, DC has often struggled between leaning into the audience Dick has and wanting to erase any “othering” elements from his character. As they point out:

The more sexual and idealized Dick was allowed to become, the more attention he got from female and queer fans, the more the industry had to work to combat the past anxieties revolving around the character. This resulted in more and more heteronormative romances for Dick on the page. We can’t grant Wertham’s fears any legitimacy, we can’t make these stories “for girls.” Writers did so in a few ways, some obvious, some less so. On the page, we had Dick’s deflection of female sexuality that he was not in control of, and we had a level of emotional posturing with relationships he was in control of. We had moments where we saw him manipulating with or being manipulated by sex. There were editorial pushes to lean into Dick’s popularity with women and queer men coupled with the simultaneous desire to not acknowledge or grant legitimacy to the fanbase he found in those demographics. This translated to more sexualized poses. More pin-up style spreads. Multiple bait-and-switch wedding, marriage, and relationship teases which turned out to be fakeouts or got written out. Long strings of female side characters were introduced exclusively to be love interests. Off the page, we had more concrete examples. We saw a lack of merchandise and lack of representation of him in other forms of media. There was a pervasive hesitancy in broaching his existence outside of the spheres of already established fans. For example, Nolan’s The Dark Knight Rises featured Joseph Gordon-Levitt playing a character literally named Robin, who was invented for the film franchise rather than allowing Dick himself to exist in that cinematic universe. Dick Grayson is a character built upon one repeated mantra aimed at what eventually become two of his largest demographics, “Remember, this is not for you.”

(Downey, Mason “In Defense of Dick Grayson: Objectification, Sexuality, and Subtext” Women Write About Comics. December 2015)

What makes Taylor’s run unique is that in trying to have Dick tackle social issues such as homelessness and in trying to create a class commentary, Taylor attempts to create a progressive, albeit simplistic, veneer while erasing the important and “other-ing” aspects of Dick’s character that was so beloved by his fans.

This, I believe, is one of the many explanations why many of those who praise Taylor run claim that this is the first Nightwing run they ever enjoyed, while many (though admittedly, not all) those who have been longtime Dick Grayson fans feel betrayed and frustrated by the way their beloved character is being handled. Dick is currently being appropriated into a more mainstream, palatable hero. He is being taken from those who loved him and being scrubbed clean to be suitable for an audience who could not appreciate him for what he was, only for how his connections could give them a wish fulfillment fantasy. As another Dick Grayson fan expressed:

I see no heart in [Taylor’s] work, only soulless marketing. He sells himself as something good and work on his perfect public image and everyone who disagrees is wrong and it gets on my nerves like nothing else. […] I wouldn't be as salt[y] if Taylor was genuinely trying to writing something good. I don't have the heart to [be salty] at someone working with passion, even if I don't like it.

(Henceforth referred to as Dick Grayson Fan B... This was actually said during a discussion in which we expressed how we wish we could be as excited about Taylor’s run as many others are.)

#nightwing #dick grayson #anti tom taylor

255 notes · View notes

dearly-somber · 11 months

Text

RBF | j.jk

-> pairing. wolf shifter!jungkook x human!reader (f)

-> genre. slow burn, eventual romance, eventual smut, fluff, f2l (friends-to-lovers), pining, found family, high school!au

-> w/c. 1342

-> rating. 13+

-> a/n. This one is pretty Yoongi centric, but it’s important for later installments (and also I wanted to build more on Y/N’s relationships with the pack outside of Jungkook heh).

-> warnings. Yoongi’s kind of a dick 💔

-> collection. mini-series

-> started. Jun. 30th, 2022 @ 18:24

-> fin. Mon., Oct. 4th, 2023 @ 22:48

-> edited. Wed., Nov. 1st, 2023 @ 09:47

-> divider credit. @mmadeinheavenn

“Why does Yoongi hate me so much?”

Jungkook looks up from where he’s been sketching a picture of what he thinks your wolf would look like if you had one, a frown on his face. “Yoongi doesn’t hate you,” he says.

“He does,” you pout, pulling at a loose thread in your socks.

“He doesn’t.” Jungkook sets his sketchbook aside to give you his full attention. “Where’s this coming from?”

You sigh. “It’s gonna sound stupid…”

“It won’t.” Jungkook holds your hand. When you finally look up at him, you’re met with a boyish grin that melts your insides.

You sigh. “I went down to the kitchen earlier to grab something to drink…”

“Yeah?”

“And…” You chew on your lip, sighing again before letting your thumb rub over the back of Jungkook’s hand in an attempt to calm your nerves. “And Yoongi was there. I accidentally bumped into him on my way out and he spilt coffee all over.”

“And he got mad?”

“Yeah.” You take a moment to get the words right, briefly reliving the older shifter’s scorn and flinching at the memory. Even just thinking about it has you biting on your lip to stop yourself from crying. “He got really mad. Started growling and cursing at me; shooed me upstairs… It’s the angriest I’ve ever seen him,” you whisper.

“Oh, angel.” Jungkook takes it upon himself to lift you up under your arms and set you back down in his lap. You’re surprised because, first of all, you never realized just how strong he is, but also because you find you don’t hate it as much as you should—nevermind “angel”.

Usually you hate being manhandled, especially into such intimate positions or poses, but you know deep down that you can trust Jungkook and his motivations, so you let yourself accept and bathe in his affection and affirmations.

You don’t mind when he guides your arms around his shoulders. You lean into him and let your eyes drift closed when his arms wrap around your back, holding you to his chest. “I’m sorry Yoongi hyung growled at you,” he says.

“It’s not your fault,” you mumble into his shoulder, already feeling lighter than when you’d sat back down next to him after the whole ordeal took place. “I just… I wish I knew why he disliked me so much. We’ve been friends for ages, now! Everyone else has warmed up to me already.”

Jungkook sighs, running his fingers up and down your spine as he thinks. The feeling sends shivers down your body. “Yoongi hyung is…protective. He’s had past relations with humans and it didn’t end well for him or the people he cared about. I’m not saying what he did was right, but there’s a reason he’s such a dick to you all the time,” Jungkook explains softly, trying and failing to subtly nose at the juncture of your neck.

You pull away from him as gently as you can, sliding off his legs. As you sit knee-to-knee with him, you settle your hands in your lap and stare. Thinking.

Finally, you speak. “Fine.”

Jungkook raises a single brow. “‘Fine’? What does that mean?”

“It means I get it. But he’s got his head farther up his ass than I thought if he thinks it’s an excuse for him to treat me like shit.”

Jungkook smiles with a fond shake of his head, sighing, “There’s the Y/N I know and love. There might finally be peace in the world once you and Yoongi start actually liking each other.”

You roll your eyes, laying back down as he reverts back to sketching. “It’s not my fault he’s got a stick up his ass. He needs to realize I’m not the same human who hurt him gods know how long ago. I might be more annoying, but I’m not going to hurt anyone.”

Jungkook smiles down at his sketchbook, muttering something under his breath. “It’s actually—“

“Y/N!”

“Oh gods,” you groan, hyping yourself up at the sound of Namjoon’s voice ricocheting off the kitchen walls, “what now?”

“Don’t be mean,” Jungkook chides, shoving you with his foot on your way out the door. You stick your tongue out at him, shaking your head with a dumb smile on your way downstairs.

“What’s up, doc?”

Namjoon frowns at you as you lean your elbows against the island. “I’m…not a doctor…”

“It’s” —you sigh, waving him off— “nevermind. What do you need?”

“Yoongi’s out back. He asked me to call for you.”

“Yoongi?” you ask skeptically, an eyebrow raised.

“Yep,” Namjoon says. “Off you go.” He shoos you out the patio doors like an old lady, disappearing back inside the house after sliding the doors shut.

“Great,” you mutter. You trudge through the wet grass and mud to the little backyard leading into the woods where the pack likes hanging out when they’re shifted (and sometimes even when they’re not. Ever since you came along, they added a little bonfire and a few camper chairs for when you’re hanging out with them).

As you near the backyard, you spot Yoongi sitting, in wolf form, on one of the several rock-slash-boulder formations surrounding what is now the bonfire pit, his fur dirtied from running while it’s wet outside. Under his mud-laden paws, you spot a dirty but otherwise intact article of clothing you thought you’d lost forever.

“Is that my Toothless sweater?” you ask, surprised. You thought you lost it after forgetting it in the woods the first time you were invited to go swimming in the river with them.

Yoongi’s ears perk up on his head as he raises his head to glare at you, dragging his tongue over his maw. He sits a little straighter the closer you get, watching you so close you can feel your heartbeat instinctively pick up its pace.

“I thought I lost this,” you mumble, wrapping your fingers around the stiff fabric and tugging to get it out from under Yoongi’s large paw. You utterly fail, because the dickhead decides to tease you by pressing down harder on it and refusing to budge until you’ve exerted all your strength, nearly sending you ass-first into a puddle of mud.

You glare at him as his wolf seems to snicker—shoulders shaking and tail wagging ever so slightly behind him.

“You know…” You rub the fabric between your fingers, contemplating whether or not you’ll get mauled to death and deciding you don’t actually care. “I like you when you’re like this.”

Yoongi’s head tilts to one side, his ears flopping. How dare he look so cute when he acts like you’re the devil more than half of the time.

“When you’re shifted,” you clarify. “Guessing your mood based off the way you hold your tail is much easier than trying to decipher your emotions based off your resting bitch face.”

Immediately, the backyard fills with a low, warning growl. Yoongi’s head is back to its righted position, but slightly lowered so you can see just how hard he’s glaring at you.

“You know what, no!” You clench your sweater in your hand as you point an accusatory finger at the rumbling grey wolf. “I’m tired of you bullying me, Yoongi. Not all humans are bad, you know!” You scoff at the way his eyes widen, comically round in this form. “I’m not going to hurt you, or anyone else! Jungkook loves this pack, and I love Jungkook.” Yoongi’s tail shoots straight up, ears perked high on his head. “I wouldn’t do anything to hurt him.”

You pause, clearing your throat so you can muster up the courage to say, “He’s my best friend. Don’t make this more difficult than it has to be.”

Yoongi stares at you, but you can’t read his facial expressions—can’t guess what’s going on behind those burning cocoa eyes of his. Not even his tail gives him away. So instead of hurting your brain overthinking his reaction, you huff and storm off, leaving a very intrigued shifter behind to contemplate several things at once.

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aemndx · 2 years

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HEYY!!! so my hoe ass has been thinking about this all day & i feel like i could share it with you since you’re our #1 aemond whore 🫡

just imagine how MUCH aemond wants to go down on his girl… like, the first time he does it he starts off kinda slow (giving her constant reassurance) and then he just devours her pussy until she’s a mess… she’s a choking, sobbing mess begging for aemond and him just humming casually like he isn’t fucking torturing his little lady wife.

aemond loves teasing his girl and i will fight anyone who disagrees.

— 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒.

gif credit.

author’s note: y’all……this was supposed to be short -- like, 50 words or less. i wouldn’t consider this a full oneshot… just a mini one. however, my mind truly has no limits when it comes to this man.. i’m sorry in advance. 🫶🏼 anyways.. please reblog, comment + leave ur feedback! it helps keep me motivated to write more. ♡

warnings: minors dni. smut. fingering. cunnilingus. female pronouns. possessive behavior. wife!reader. pet names. romance. fluff. any grammatical errors are my own -- in advance, i sincerely apologize.

word count: 1,8k.

pairings: aemond targaryen x reader (f).

♡࿐ aemond is the type of person who would rather give his partner pleasure, rather than receive it. you’re his newly wedded lady wife, and he’s just beginning to teach you of the many ways of how a real man can please a woman, like yourself.

at first, you’d been shy and innocent and inexperienced.

especially, at the thought of him wanting to put his mouth down there… you were absolutely mortified at the thought. however, aemond just smirked and kissed you softly on your slightly parted lips, reassuring you that this is what he wanted.

so.. you agreed. hesitatingly, of course. you never wanted to disappoint him, no matter what – even at the cost of your own humiliation.

aemond would start slow and gentle, so not to overwhelm you and to make sure you were as comfortable as possible. you were his lady wife, he never wanted to scare you or cause you discomfort.

afterwards, he’d grasp both of your naked thighs in his large veiny hands, lifting them up and over his shoulders easily, before letting them rest on his muscular back. all the while, he’d watch you with his one eye as you squirmed your hips a bit, not used to being so exposed in front of anyone, let alone your husband.

this was something completely new to you – sure, you tried to consummate the marriage, but there had been dozens of eyes on you and you were embarrassed. you had hidden your face in your husband’s neck, trying to make yourself appear even smaller than you were beneath him.

in truth, aemond hadn’t taken your virginity that night, for he could see the terror in your eyes.

ever the gentleman, aemond covered you both with a large sheet and his body, protecting you from preying eyes and was quick to end both of your sufferings, before pulling off you once the deed was finished and he went to take a bath, thinking you’d wanted to be alone.

oh, how far from the truth that was.

you couldn’t really wrap your head around what had happened, your wedding night was only a few days ago, but now… now it seemed like your husband couldn’t keep his hands off of you. you didn’t mind of course, in fact – you welcomed the newfound attention he was giving you.

without even noticing, your cunt was oozing with cream, practically begging for some sort of relief from your husband. aemond chuckled underneath his breath, eyeing up your sweet cunt and seeing how utterly wet it was for him, like it was preparing itself for him.

virgins do tend to get the most wet, he thought.

with one last look up at you, making sure you were alright with the situation, aemond leaned the rest of his head down, until his mouth completely covered your cunt.

it was the most strangest pleasurable feeling you’ve ever felt – his warm tongue running up and down your slit, hearing you let out a girlish squeal in surprise.

“oh, o-ohhh – aemond..!” you wailed, immediately raising your hips up against his mouth.

aemond let out a lazy hum in response to you, his tongue gathering up your cream and swirling it around your buzzing clit, making quick work to flick his tongue back and forth over the little nub of nerves.

with one large hand still grasping hold of the meaty part of your thigh, aemond’s other hand came up and placed his open palm down on the top of your stomach, pressing down to keep you from wiggling away too much.

little moans and whimpers of aemond’s name slipped from your lips, feeling your husband’s skilled tongue swiftly flick back and forth over your clit, making your skin feel like it was vibrating.

unexpectedly, aemond started to suck your clit into his mouth harshly, making your toes curl and the bottom of your feet dig into his upper back painfully.

whether or not you had hurt him, he didn’t say – the only thing aemond was focused on was making you come for him.

your mouth formed into a perfect little ‘o’ shape, your back arching off the bed and your hands fisting the sheets below you for mercy. you could feel something in your belly start to tighten – almost uncomfortably, and you cried out for your husband.

“..aemond?! aemond, what is… what is that?” you pleaded, hoping he’d have the answer.

aemond pulled away from your clit with a soft pop, before looking up at you with a half-lidded eye full of darkened lust, his mouth wet and coated in your arousal.

“what are you talking about, my love?” aemond asked, his tone full of patience and kindness, waiting for you to gather your thoughts. the hand that was holding on to your thigh began to lightly squeeze the flesh, caressing the smooth skin of your inner thigh, his knuckles gently brushing along until they reached your heated cunt.

without rush, aemond began to softly drag the pads of his calloused fingertips along your soaked folds, casually spreading your lips and occasionally dipping in the tip of one of his fingers inside, collecting your cream and spreading it around.

you could barely focus, your eyes half-lidded with lust and pleasure, your limbs sweaty and your muscles tense from almost orgasming.. though, you did not know any better.

“my.. m-my belly feels strange,” you confessed, feeling confused and your limbs were beginning to feel heavy.

aemond nodded, though he knew you weren’t paying any attention to him – instead, you were staring up at the ceiling, your mind else where and your pretty face blissed out.

nonetheless, that didn’t stop aemond from reassuring you that you were fine and safe with him. “you’re alright, darling. you’re just experiencing your first orgasm… don’t worry, i’ve got you. just relax for me, okay? can you do that for me, my sweet girl?”

you let out a little pleased hum, before feeling aemond pinch your lower belly teasingly, causing you to wince in discomfort, your whole body flinching.

“ouch!” you yelped, snapping your head up from your pillow, glaring daggers at your husband’s handsome face in annoyance.

aemond chuckled, “i need a verbal confirmation, sweet girl,” he spoke lowly, though he continued prodding one of his fingers against your leaking hole, hearing a small “yes!” come from you, before sliding one long finger completely inside of you.

“that’s my good girl,” aemond praised, leaning his head back down and dragging his tongue along your clit again, doing figure eights. your head fell back down against the many pillows, your hips instinctively thrusting up to gather more friction against your husband’s mouth.

however, this time aemond did not seem to mind, as he slipped in another finger and pumped them quickly inside you, his lips making a slurping sound as he sucked on your swollen clit.

“oh… please, please! aemond – i can’t.. i can’t h-hold it…” you wailed, your head thrashing against the pillows.

aemond did not stop though, wanting to take everything you were willing to give him. “come for me, my sweet. come for your husband,” he commanded, his words mumbled against your clit, but you heard him nonetheless.

you could feel his teeth just barely scrape against your pulsing clit, just as he tried pushing in a third finger into your greedy cunt, making you cry out into your shared chambers.

once he pushed the third finger inside – it was a tight fit, but your husband managed – aemond started pumping all three fingers as quickly as possible, simultaneously licking and sucking on your puffy clit, making you whine so prettily for him.

“oh, mmm… fuck,” you cried, your eyes widening as you let a curse slip from your mouth.

you couldn’t focus too much on your slip up, since you could feel the beginnings of your orgasm approaching, making the band in your belly tighten to the point of it being almost painful.

aemond quickly switched his fingers for his tongue, his tongue now delving deep inside of your dripping hole, his fingers now swirling your clit in fast, tight little circles. the pressure on your clit as well as the warm and wet muscle of your husband’s tongue was enough to have you coming all over his face.

you were a panting, crying mess – tears were pooling in your eyes and little hiccups escaped you, though aemond did not stop his ministrations on you.

no, the prince kept going, not giving any notice to your shaking thighs that were wrapped around his head or your cries that were echoing off the chamber walls.

aemond’s tongue continued diving deep and licked your inner velvety walls like a starved man, tasting the sweetness of your cream that kept oozing out of you, your inner walls fluttering against his tongue from the aftershocks of your first orgasm.

“aemond.. p-please, i cannot –“ you begged, your bottom half feeling numb.

“mmm… just one more, my love. give me one more and i shall stop.”

you choked on the saliva in your mouth, your breathing was erratic and you felt like your heart would surely explode in your chest.

“oh, gods…” you sobbed, feeling aemond’s fingers part your lips wide with his fingers, before shoving his tongue into your cunt as far as he was able, licking your sensitive walls, causing you to moan helplessly.

simultaneously, aemond’s other hand reached forward and plunged three slick, deft fingers into your cunt, fucking them in and out alongside his tongue.

you screamed, begged and pleaded for the gods to give you mercy.

aemond did not stop, though you could hear him groaning against you as he feasted on the sweet nectar your cunt provided him. “you have the sweetest cunt in all of the seven kingdoms, wife.”

once more, you could feel the muscles in your belly tightening painfully, the blood in your veins felt like fire and sweat was coating every inch of your skin. you tried holding it in, you tried, you tried…

a moment passed, you were sure you blacked out, before your belly contracted and your torso arched up as the most earth shattering pleasure washed over you, causing you to scream your husband’s name in bliss and agony.

there was a ringing in your ears, a numbness tingling your fingertips, soft lips trailing up your navel, leaving delicate open-mouthed kisses along the skin.

“shh, shhh… i’ve got you, my sweet girl. you’re okay, i’m right here, precious.”

you let out a sleepy whimper, trying your hardest to lean up into the loving kisses, but your body wouldn’t allow you to.

you were completely spent.

“aemond… aemond,” you sighed, your eyelids fluttering, trying to remain open, your hands attempting to bring him closer.

aemond chuckled, loving how clingy you were becoming for him.

giving into your neediness, aemond carefully moved to lay next to you, wrapping you tightly in his strong arms, holding you close to him in possessiveness.

you practically purred once you rested your head on his bare chest, snuggling into him, seeking out his warmth.

“rest, sweet girl. i’ll be here when you wake up.”

fin

feel free to send in requests / thots here.

#◜ 𝗇𝗈𝖺’𝗌 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝗄𝗌 ˚✧ ꜝ #aemond targaryen #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond targaryen imagine #aemond targaryen smut #aemond targaryen fluff #aemond x fem!reader #aemond x reader #aemond imagine #aemond smut #aemond fluff #prince aemond #house of the dragon aemond #house of the dragon #hotd imagine #hotd x reader #hotd fanfic #hotd s1 #hotd

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xcalkenf · 2 years

Text

Gojo’s fave positions to do it is probably missionary>doggy style. He wants needs to see your messed up face especially when you’re wearing makeup as it turns him on even more. sometimes he would blindfold you during the spicy times —but don’t worry he’ll make sure the tighness of the blindfold isn’t that hard.

“ng— i can’t..”

“yes you can baby, we did this multiple times -ite? or do you want me to stop?”

“n-no uhhuh..~ don’ wana stowp”

he chuckles, “good girl” he then leaves kisses around your neck and left some hickeys that you’re pretty much sure it’ll stay there for days. As he fastens his pace, he holds your waist by one hand and the other caressing your cheek while kissing you— loud moans were then vanished into small ones. You felt your third orgasm coming which then followed by the tightening of your walls hugging gojo’s cock, a gasp left both of your mouths and he slows down his pace earning a groan from you “urghh- pplease f-faster!! don’ slow d-down!” “impatient are you baby?” . . . . without any further to do, you pushed yourself towards his length earning another chuckle from him “tsk, my baby wants to cum so bad huh?” “p-please..” “please what? use your words”

“please let me cum please please please!! wanna cum so bad ‘toru!!”

“hmm, how about a no?”

—

a/n: thank you SO MUCH for 100 followers!! honestly i wasn’t expecting my blogs to blow up and gain tons of likes and folls! i’m glad you guys enjoyed it, again ty!!

#gojo x reader #jujutsu gojo #gojo smut #gojo satoru x reader #gojou satoru x reader #gojo satoru #gojo imagine #jjk smut #gojou smut

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goldenbuckyyy · 2 years

Text

YOU’RE ALL I WANT

Summary: You and Harry finally reconnect.

Pairings: Harry Styles x fem!Reader

Word Count: 5.7kish

Warnings: Over 3k of smut!! Oral (fem! & male!receiving), fingering, allure to squirting, raw sex, creampie, slight fem!reader!Dom/subrry vibes if you squint!! 🤏🏻

A/N: Hi!! Sorry this has taken so long! The holidays were very crazy and work has been… just as crazy as always! But she’s here and I hope you love her as much as I do.. because I love her!! I’m also going to be tagging anybody who mention needing part 2 since it’s been a while!! Also, this is probably the last part! Song title inspo: “You’re all I want” by Cigarettes After Sex

Divider is by @silkholland!! I love your divider so much! Thank you for allowing us to use them. 🫶🏻

All my mistakes are my own. Please do not repost or translate my fics on any other site nor this one.

I appreciate any likes, reblogs, messages, and interactions. Please message me your thoughts!!! It fuels me!

PART 1 || Main Masterlist

May 20th, 2022.

You tapped your fingers on your countertop as you watched the time slowly trickle by.

3:03PM.

Watching how slow the time was going felt almost agonizing.

You let out a groan as you felt as if time had never gone by any slower. You were still in your pajamas, sipping on your door dashed iced latte, stomach still full of your late morning breakfast, and you felt nervous. Nauseated, almost.

So nervous about seeing Harry tonight that you almost wanted to throw up. And you knew you didn’t have to feel this nervous, but it’s been almost a year that you haven’t seen him. It’s normal to feel this way. You can’t help it.

Harry’s album had already been out since midnight and you had to physically restrain yourself from listening to it. You wanted tonight to be the first night you listened to all of his new songs.

Either way, you knew they were going to be amazing.

You had also already chosen your outfit for the night. Which surprisingly had taken you so long to put together.

Simply because you wanted to look your absolute best tonight.

You searched throughout Twitter for concert inspiration and for any ideas that would help you. You knew fashion. You worked in fashion. You had your own famous fashion line and you still had no idea what to wear to this concert.

You’ve been to plenty of his concerts before. You even remember the outfits you wore to one direction concerts and it secretly made you cringe. Flashbacks of textured shorts and frail crop tops fill your mind.

But now.. now you wanted to surprise him and feel good. It’s been way too long since you had seen Harry's face and you missed him.

So, you did what you do best and you made your own outfit.

You ended up making a black jumpsuit with an amazing sequin fabric which covered every inch of it. It was long enough to pair with your favorite platform heeled boots that were comfy enough to be standing a long period of time in. You made the top of the jumpsuit have a cross neck fixture with a triangle opening right underneath your sternum and you made the back to match.

Now, it was just time for the clock to strike five for you to start to get ready.

So, here you are. Fiddling with your phone to try and pass the time faster.

You hop off the stool and move to your private sunroom in your penthouse that overlooks the river. You bask in the sun on your skin and wonder how tonight will go.

Hopefully everything goes well and Harry’s only expression when he sees you is happiness.

You can only hope.

You tug on your oversized silk blazer as you walk down the backstage hallway of MSG with Jeff by your side.

“Harry might shit himself when he sees you,” Jeff says to you with wild eyes and a loud laugh as you try and match his fast pace down the hall.

You let out your own nervous one as you fix your hair for the millionth time as you follow him.

“Don’t worry. I just might, too.”

You weren’t lying. You genuinely felt sick to your stomach. You had decided to wait until you knew that Harry would already be almost going on to text Jeff that you were waiting at the back entrance for him. Just so he wouldn’t be able to tell Harry you were here.

“The concert already started, but don’t freak. It just started,” Jeff says casually as you start to see the flashing lights from behind the curtain.

You still for a second right before you pass the curtain to let out a shaky breath. Reminding yourself to calm down. That it’s only Harry.

Jeff’s hands are suddenly touching your shoulders and he’s giving you a reassuring smile.

“Don’t be nervous. He’s going to be happy to see you. Trust me.”

You nod quickly and your senses are suddenly filled with loud screams. Thousands and thousands of people screaming for Harry. For your Harry and it makes your heart warm.

You follow Jeff to the side of the main stage behind a barricade, but in perfect view of Harry. And your eyes start to water as soon as you see him.

He’s wearing an adorable white shirt that’s lined with red hearts, black leather figure hugging pants, red sneakers, and a big chunky yellow necklace.

You cover your mouth to hold in your own cry, quickly shaking off the nerves as you settle into the spot next to Jeff, and you zone out as you admire Harry in his zone.

The way the music completely takes over his body and his actions. The way you can tell he lets the music get into his bones by the way he lets it take over and how he dances. The way he lets himself be free in a room filled with people that love him. People that you know he loves. His fans. His wonderful, amazing, love filled fans.

The way he smiles, laughs, and giggles so hard his dimples end up showing. And how he looks so freaking happy it makes you want to burst into tears.

You can easily tell this is his favorite thing to do. Just by looking at him. He’s the type of person that you can just watch and admire because everything he does leaves you in awe.

And that’s exactly how you feel.

Then, at the right moment when he’s prancing around the stage, and running on your side of the stage.. he glances down to look at Jeff and then he sees you.

You both lock eyes at the same time and he trips on his own feet, halting in front of you, and the screaming only intensifies when he breaks out into the biggest smile you’ve seen on him all night.

His hands immediately go to his heart and you see his eyes water as you smile back at him with matching watery eyes. He reaches for you with a small “Hi” leaving his lips and you mouth it back. You can tell he wants to say something else, but he quickly shakes his head with a grin and goes back to dancing around the stage.

You can hear fans calling out your name from around you as now they’ve noticed you. You look around, giving a small wave at the fans near you, and they shriek when you look at them.

You blush under their gazes as it never gets any less weird for you that people actually know who you are. But feeling grateful nonetheless.

Harry makes his way to your corner of the stage after he sings probably the saddest song you’ve ever heard and smiles at you as he settles himself with the microphone stand.

“Now this next song… this next song is incredibly special to me. One of my favorites actually. And…” he pauses and takes in a shaky breath. “The person who inspired this song is actually here tonight.”

The crowd goes wild. Loud cheers surrounding your entire body. You feel lightheaded as you watch Harry on stage.

Watching you.

He gives you a small smile and continues, “This person.. has been my best friend for almost a decade now. We actually met at a Halloween party many many years ago. Her best friend is actually the person I spilled my beer on,” you both chuckle at his words, “I’m getting off track here. But I just want to say that this person is the one person that I absolutely adore. I adore her, I admire her, I respect her, I recognize her, and I love her.” His voice cracks at the last couple of words, his bottom lip quivering and his chin caving in, and tears pool his eyes.

Your eyes are filled with tears at hearing his speech to you and knowing that this is showing his vulnerable side. Which he has always struggled with. You clamp your hands together against your chin as you only smile up at him.

“This is ‘Little Freak’,” he says into the mic as the band starts playing a soft melody.

The first lyrics remind me of the incident in Italy last year and your heart silently hurts. You grip onto the railing in front of you as you listen closely to each lyric.

Finding yourself relating to each word and wanting to pull Harry into your embrace.

Did you dress up for Halloween? I spilled beer on your friend.. I’m not sorry.

You chuckle as you sniffle while slow tears fall down your cheeks and you quickly wipe them away. You watch him in awe as you hear everybody singing along to the lyrics. To a song that came out less than twenty four hours ago.

I disrespected you

Jumped in feet first, and I landed too hard

A broken ankle, karma rules

You never saw my birthmark

Okay. Maybe this is the saddest song you’ve ever heard. Harry holds out the microphone to his fans and gets overwhelmed when they’re singing back his lyrics so loudly. You laugh with joy at how happy he is.

“Thank you so much,” he says into the microphone with his voice wavering, but sounding so grateful.

Just thinkin' about you

He finishes singing the last lyric and he looks over at you with a smile. You smile back with a thumbs up and his dimples show.

The rest of the concert goes by so quickly you can’t even believe it’s been almost two hours since he started.

Every single one of his songs feels connected to you in some way and you wonder if you were in Harry’s thoughts when he wrote this album. You know ‘Little Freak’ is about you since he practically dedicated it to you before he sang it.. but you wonder about the rest.

A part of you doesn’t want to know.

Jeff is by your side as soon as Harry runs off the stage after doing his famous ‘Whale’ and glancing at you quickly.

Jeff wraps his arm around your shoulder, with a smile, he asks, “What’d you think?”

“He’s incredible.”

“That’s our boy.”

You hum in agreement and you both walk off backstage to the chaos that is the loud voices of people congratulating the band and Harry on a brilliant performance.

You stand in the background, watching Harry take each compliment with grace, a shake of each person's hand, and a dimpled smile on his face.

You watch him carefully, bouncing on your heeled boots, heart racing, fingers aching to feel Harry’s skin, and your body trying not to reach for him.

You smile softly when you notice his eyes searching the room and then they land on you. His expression changes to a mix of glowing happiness and absolute joy. He looks like a little kid that just got offered a lollipop at the dentist.

He politely excuses himself from the group he had just thanked and hastily makes his way towards you.

You open your arms to him on instinct, “Hi.”

His arms engulf you into his space, completely tucking you into his body, and you feel complete. His hands wrap around your torso, underneath your blazer, touching your skin, and your arms wrap around his neck. Your faces squeezing into each other’s necks and he whispers a breathy, “Hi.”

You melt into his embrace, smelling his cinnamon roll hair styling crème that he still uses, and it brings back a decade of memories for you. His strong arms squeeze you as he lifts you up off your toes and you can hear him inhaling your scent.

“God, I’ve missed you.”

You chuckle into his neck, “Me more.”

You both pull away at the same time, staring at each other, and you place your hand on his cheek. He leans into it with a small smile, beautiful glossy green eyes staring into yours, and you thumb his cheek.

“I’m sorry, H.” You confess with a soft tone, trying to hold your voice steady while your heart races inside of your chest.

“Don’t apologize. I’m the one that messed up, but.. c’mon.” He wraps his hand in yours, giving Jeff a small signal, and he starts to walk off towards his dressing room.

He leads you into the big dim-lighted room, shutting the door behind you, and locking it for privacy.

You stay in front of him, glancing at him and trying to see if you notice anything different about it.

But he’s still the same Harry. Right in front of you. Finally.

He pulls two cold waters from the mini fridge and hands one to you as he leads you both to the couch. You get comfortable as he kicks off his shoes, leaning into the green couch, and planting his feet on top of the coffee table. You sit back and admire him for a second before drinking some water.

After a moment of silence, he asks, “How have you been?”

“I’ve been good. Missed you tho.”

He smiles as he tucks his chin into his chest, arms crossing over his chest, “I did, too. More than you can imagine.”

“Yeah?” You question, playing with the rings on your fingers, and you look at him from underneath your lashes.

“Come here,” he says as he reaches for your hand. Your insides turn and you let him pull you into his lap. Your breathing hitches as he stares at your face, taking you in, and then his eyes land on your lips.

“Of course I’ve missed you. You’re my best friend,” he whispers into you as he slowly leans in and you close your eyes, waiting for his lips to touch yours.

“Do you still want me?” You blurt out bluntly, your eyes going wide, and you suddenly feel weak. You feel vulnerable. Insecure.

Harry tenses in front of you, his eyes going wide, and he searches for words. But nothing comes out. His eyebrows furr in confusion, “What? How-I… Are you serious? I was about to kiss you..”

You look down, ashamed at your question, and you feel him pull your face back up to meet his own eyes with his thumb.

“How could you ever think I wouldn’t want you?”

His eyes are sincere and full of concern. His body leans into yours, his arms that are holding you only grow tighter, and you wrap your arms around his neck limply.

You lean into his touch and try to smile. Your lips wavering when you say, “I.. I ignored you for months.”

“You had your reasons. I was awful to you. I said mean words to you that I should have taken back as soon as I had spoken them. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

His thumb caresses your cheek as you nod at him.

“I’m still sorry,” you say again as you kiss the inside of his palm.

“I have always wanted you.”

“What?” You say with a grin as he matches your own.

“I, Harry Styles, have always wanted you, Y/N L/N. Ever since the first moment I saw you. You are the most beautiful thing I have ever laid my eyes on and you continue being so.”

You let out a watery laugh as tears prick your eyes, you swat his chest playfully, “Stop! You’re making me cry!” You both laugh together as he places a big smooch on your cheek.

You giggle as he slowly starts to kiss your cheek and makes his way down to your lips.

His hands are holding your face when he leans back and asks you, “Can I kiss you?”

Before you can even finish nodding, his lips are on yours.

His lips feel soft and warm against yours. You both held your breath as he waited for you to respond to his kiss, his lips on yours, but full of hesitation.

You relax into his hands, letting yourself finally kiss him back, and a feeling of euphoria fills your body. You both moan into the kiss, tilting your heads for better access, and you pull at each other to feel closer together. He slides off your blazer and touches your naked arms, moaning at feeling your skin against his own.

Your tongue fights with Harry’s and you suck on his bottom lip with a moan. Your hands moving from the back of his warm neck to his curly hair, tugging at the roots, and filling with content when he groans into your mouth.

Harry lets go of your face and he’s moving your body over his own, adjusting himself onto the couch, and you plant yourself down on his hips. Feeling his hardening bulge against your core makes you feel hot. Your core aching in want and you grind against him.

You both meet again in the middle and kiss, lips lapping against each other, open mouthed moans, and pants filling the room. Slow hips grinding against each other.

In the rush of probably the hottest way you’ve ever kissed someone, he’s suddenly pulling away from your body completely.

Leaving your body aching for his touch and your skin feeling burned as his hands leave your waist.

You’re suddenly filled with confusion, furring your eyebrows, and peering up at H.

“What’s going on? Why’d you stop?” You pant out as you try to catch your breath.

H looks like he’s torn between a million emotions as he clutches his eyes in distress, a heavy breathe escaping his lips, and he’s shaking his head. Then.. he chuckles.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this..”

Your heart stops.

“But.. I don’t want our first time to be like this.”

Oh.

“Oh?” You question with a small smile as you sit up on his lap, adjusting your jumpsuit straps around your neck, and he’s leaning against the back of the couch… looking so adorable.

He looks almost shy right now and he blushes under your gaze.

“Yeah,” he says as he reaches for your hand and you let him. “I want our first time to be special. I want it to be in my bed or yours. And I want it…I just.. I don’t want to fuck you in this dressing room. I mean—“

You cut him off as your cheeks flush down to your neck at his words, “I have an apartment here.”

His eyebrows spike up in shock as he looks simultaneously confused, shocked, and you can tell he’s hurt that he doesn’t know about this major change in your life. You reach for his hand and squeeze it when he immediately grips onto yours. Trying to reassure him with your touch.

“Since when?”

“Fairly recent,” you say with a small smile playing on your sinful lips.

“Where?”

“The Copper,” you say with a glint of enthusiasm and he only matches you. Like always.

“You got an apartment there?” His eyes glint with a look of pride.

“I got the penthouse.”

The second that you both walk into your penthouse, Harry’s mouth and hands are on you. And you’re not complaining.

You throw off your blazer at the same time he kicks off his shoes.

His hands are all over the parts of your skin that isn’t covered and he stops when he finds the clasp around your neck. He swiftly unhooks your jumpsuit and you feel it fall over your shoulders and down your chest. Your breasts are now exposed and you feet the cold air brush against your nipples. Perking them up and making you gasp in pleasure.

He tugs on your jumpsuit which makes it pull around your waist and his hands move onto your breasts. He moans into your mouth when he feels them naked since you’re not wearing a bra or pasties. He thumbs your nipples and you whimper into him, licking the roof of his mouth, and sliding your hands underneath his shirt.

He manages to shove you against your couch and you both tumble on it, giggling into the kiss, and his hands are around your body to make sure you don’t hurt yourself.

You giggle as he kisses you, which only makes him giggle with you, and then you’re laying down on your couch. You pull away from him when you feel him get on his knees in front of you.

He slowly slides his hands underneath your jumpsuit, unzipping your boots, and tossing them to the floor. His eyes are only on you.

You watch him with want as he slips off his shirt, tossing it to the side, and you shimmy out of your jumpsuit. Tugging off your black thong with it.

Harry's lips are on yours again and he’s hungry. Kissing you deeply, his tongue fighting for dominance with your own, both moaning and panting, aching for each other, and he’s reaching down to unzip his pants.

Harry’s hands suddenly are off of your hips and his lips leave your own. You whine as you feel him pull away from you and you quickly open your eyes to watch him as he’s watching you, now sitting on his knees on the couch, and his eyes never leave yours.

He slowly lets his eyes wander down your naked body, fully taking in that this is the first time he’s ever seen you naked, and it makes you ache in ways you’ve never ached before. Makes your skin break out into goosebumps at the mere sight of him taking you in.

He stands up, shoving off his leather pants and his red briefs, and his long, thick dick makes an appearance. Your eyes go wide as you look at him, the first time truly looking at his dick, and your pussy only clenches with desire at the same time your mouth waters with want.

His dick is beautiful. Long, thick, and looking juicy. And waiting to fuck you up. His tip is leaking pre-cum already and it bounces with every movement he makes. He moves back to where he was sitting on his knees on the couch, admiring you as you admire him.

“Fuck,” he mutters out as he wipes his face with his hands before he sets them down on your ankles.

“What is it?” You whisper as you move your legs to open up in front of him, feeling your wetness coat your inner thighs, and he bites his bottom lip. His dick twitching in all its hardened glory. He’s almost fully leaking from the tip of his dick.

“You… are beautiful. Breathtaking.. and this is the first time I see you naked. I just wanna admire you,” he says as he pulls your ankle to his shoulder and kisses your shin. You smile as you let yourself spread out more for him as he starts kissing up your legs slowly and sinfully.

Your breathing hitches as he gets closer to your center, you're already antsy when he stops in your inner thigh, kissing both of them, licking them, and sucking small love bites onto them.

You massage your breasts as you lean your head down to get a better look at him.

“You’re glistening,” he mutters against your thigh, kissing right next to your aching pussy. You can help but moan out in want and anticipation. Your hips are getting a mind of their own as you try to hitch them towards his mouth and his eyes move towards yours.

“So inpatient,” he says as his cold fingers are suddenly touching your wet lips, pulling them open, and he spreads you to his liking.

“Oh my god,” you moan out at the sensation that overcomes your entire body at Harry finally touching you.

He moves himself in between your legs, pushing your thighs down on each side, and he lets his tongue slowly lick your pussy. You clench around him, you can’t fully believe that this is happening right now, and you twist your nipples in between your fingers. You tilt your head back in a pant when Harry slips two fingers inside of you.

“Fuck,” he groans out as he curves his fingers inside of you and your pussy only tightens around them. Your breathing has picked up and you can hear how absolutely drenched you are by the sound his fingers are making as he moves them in and out of your pussy.

Harry seems to only fuel himself more with your moans and panting because you feel him start to devour you. You gasp when you feel his tongue lick you from the bottom of your folds all the way to your clit where he swivels his tongue around it and sucks it into his mouth gently. The bundle of nerves makes the pit of your belly harden in pleasure, your back curving upwards, and your hands move into his curls to hold onto something. Anything.

You moan out his name when his fingers start thrusting inside of you, in and out. In and out. And then he picks up his pace, slightly, but making a big difference in how it fuels your impending orgasm.

His fingers continue to fuck you, his mouth devouring you, and his tongue is torturing you. In every possible way. You know this is going to be the best sex of your life. You know you’ll never be able to move on from this. You hope Harry will feel the same way, too.

His mouth moves skillfully against your pussy, his tongue flicking your clit in all the best ways, and you can feel the pressure slowly building up in your lower stomach.

Harry sucks onto your clit, making your legs start to shake slightly, and he inserts a third finger into you. You cry out in pleasure, your body feeling like it’s on fire, your skin is glistening with sweat, and you start to move your hips to match the pace of his mouth.

He doesn’t stop his movements. He only keeps going. His fingers fucking you like heaven, his moans sending shockwaves through your body, and then.. he moves his tongue into the right spot on your clit which makes you absolutely explode from underneath him.

You yell out his name, so loud that if you actually had neighbors on this floor, you’d be scared they’d come banging on your door for being so damn loud, and your eyes prick with tears from the amazing orgasm that overtakes you.

Your toes curl into the couch, fingers gripping onto his curls, entire body clenching and then releasing as you feel yourself soaking Harry's mouth and fingers, and he’s lapping up every single drop of your release. Moaning as you can see his thighs grinding into the couch.

You don’t even let your body come down from the high when you’re hastily moving from being underneath Harry to being on top of him, straddling him, and kissing him hard. Sucking his lips into yours and moaning when you can taste yourself on his tongue.

You kiss him for a couple seconds before you move down his stomach, licking his butterfly tattoo, sucking a couple love bites on his abs, and letting yourself make eye contact with him the entire time.

His pupils are blown out, lips plump and swollen, cheeks flushed bright pink, and he looks fucked.

“Fuck,” he pants out, his voice raspy and blissed out. And he can’t even react before you’re taking in his aching dick into your mouth. Fully deep-throating him that the tip is curving into the back of your throat. Your eyes water as you keep eye contact with him, your hands holding yourself steady against his fern tattoos, and his hands grip into your loose hair.

“Holy shit! You’re fucking-I-you’re fucking taking me all the way, baby!”

You preen at his words, bobbing your head on his dick, pulling up slowly to let your tongue lap over his tip, sucking off the pre-cum into your mouth, and moaning so that he feels every vibration in your throat on his dick. You can feel his dick twitching in pleasure inside of your mouth and it only fuels you to be better. You pick up your pace, nails digging into his hips, lapping him up, and everytime you go all the way down, you let your tongue lick his balls too.

Harry suddenly pulls your face off his dick and you whimper at the disconnection. You look at him with big, blown out pupils, and a stream of saliva connecting your lips with his dick.

He groans as his hands move down to your breasts, pinching your nipples, and then he thumbs your swollen lower lip to wipe off the mess.

“‘M gonna cum if you keep suckin’ me off like that, honey.” His voice is breathless as he cups your face, pulling you up easily, and connecting your lips with his. Your wet core lands on his fat, aching dick, and you already need him inside of you.

You’re aching for him.

You kiss each other roughly, hands all over each other, and you start hitching your hips higher trying to align yourself with his dick. You can feel his dick fluttering in between your folds, wetting him up even more, and then you feel your opening align with his dick. You shift your hips a little bit more and you feel the head of his dick right where you want him.

You lower down onto his pulsating dick and he groans into your mouth. His hands immediately find your hips, holding you steady as you try to lower yourself more, only being halfway.

“God, you’re so fuckin’ tight right now. So fucking tight, give me a second..” He moans even louder as he allows you to lower yourself even more until your pelvis meets his own. You steady yourself on his chest, tightening your arms against your breast, and smiling wickedly at Harry’s expression which only shows pleasure.

You slowly start to move against his hips, slowly bouncing on his dick as his tight grip on your hips help you move, and you can feel how desperate he is for you. How much he’s wanted this. How much you’ve been wanting this.

He slowly starts moving his hips underneath you, quickly changing the pace from slow and sultry to fast and rough. The sound of slapping skin fills the entire penthouse, your moans mixing with his own, and your hands are touching him everywhere.

“You feel so good,” you whimper out to him as you lick the curves of his neck as he pulls you into his chest as he hitches his hips to fuck into you like this.

“You were made for me,” he whimpers back as his arms wrap around your waist.

His thrust only increases in speed in this position. His dick filling you up completely, like nobody ever has, touching every inch of your walls, and your wetness only allows him to fuck into you faster.

You feel the familiar feeling building up in your belly, you lick and suck his earlobe, “I’m so close.”

He quickly turns you over, so that your body is laying on the couch now, his dick never exiting you, and now he hitches your legs to wrap around his waist. He presses down against our belly and it only fuels your climax.

“Oh my fuckin’—” you cry out as you feel Harry fucking you hard and him pushing against your cervix seems to increase the sensations.

“Feel me up here, huh?” He groans out as he continues to push into you at a rough speed which you can only nod, feeling absolutely fucked, and he moves his free hand to your clit. Moving his thumb in circles roughly against it which triggers your orgasm.

You clench around his dick, crying out loud, your entire body breaking out into goosebumps, and instant satisfaction floods you. You tighten your legs around Harry, pulling him into you, waiting for him to cum too, and he’s looking like a fucking god above you.

His curls falling around his face, sweat glistening his toned body and his forehead, fucked out, bright flushed pink cheeks, and you don’t know what comes over you…

You reach forward as he fucks you and you place your hand aound his neck, holding the sides, avoiding the center, and his eyes go wide.

His eyes instantly meet yours and his lips part in shock. And you keep moving your body against his, letting him use you completely, and then.. you squeeze around his neck.

His eyes roll back into his head, biting his bottom lip, fucking you rough and hard, and you know he’s about to cum. You squeeze his throat harder and your free hand reaches underneath his neck to tug his curls.

He lets out the loudest, gut-wrenching moan of the night, and his thrusts start turning animalistic, when he yells out, “Fuckkk!!”

He continues to thrust into you as he reaches his peak, filling you up completely, and you both are a panting mess as you both start coming down from your orgasms.

Harry flops onto your chest, but holding himself up with his forearms on your sides. You giggle as you can still feel his dick inside of you, but you wrap your arms around his neck.

He lifts his head, panting, and eyes glistening. He smiles at you, bunny teeth showing, and dimples carving his cheeks.

“That was…” he stops as if he can’t even find the words, but who are you kidding? You can’t either.

“It was,” you agree as you kiss his forehead.

“That was very much long overdue,” he states with a teasing grin and you playfully pinch his forearm. He laughs into your neck before giving you a soft kiss.

“How long are you here for?” You ask, not really wanting to ask, but you know you should.

“I’m here as long as you are.”

You furr your eyebrows in confusion, lips parting with a question, and he shushes you.

“I’m not letting you leave my sight ever again.”

He places a million kisses over your face, you swat him away with giggles, and then hold his face in your hands. Eyes locking.

“Does this mean we’re boyfriend and girlfriend?” You tease.

“Shit, I’d marry you tomorrow if you’d let me.”

Your eyes glint with amusement and so do his.

“Who says I wouldn’t?” You whisper at him, playing with his curls in your fingers. And he attacks you with another million kisses.

You could get used to this.

And you think you just might.

“So, where’s that secret birthmark of yours?”

@that-daydream-look @harrysfolklore @b-reads-things @tbslnightly @noseyrosey1597 @alwayslovingharry @alreadyjackbestfriend @cevansssss @1cedteaa @feestyles @you-sunshine @awesomebooklover17 @aruima

#harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles x fem!reader #harry styles smut #harry styles x y/n smut #harry styles x famous!reader #Harry styles x fashion designer!Y/N #harry styles writing #harry styles au #harry styles #harry styles angst #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fan fic #harry styles imagine #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic

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queen-of-deans-booty · 2 months

Text

Recreate

Pairing: Biker!Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1.2k

Warnings: fluff, implied smut

Request by @waywardfillorian: Biker!Dean takes his Book tiktok reader girly friend to get as books as she wants at Barnes & Noble.

Summary: As your boyfriend, Dean is responsible for your happiness. Books are what make you happy. Riding his bike is what makes you happy. Recreating famous BookTok scenes is what makes both of you happy… and eager.

Square Filled: play fighting (2022) for @spndeanbingo

Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3

Dean never said where you two were going to go on your date so you decide to dress casually--jeans, a short-sleeved frilly shirt, and the Converse Dean bought you for your birthday. It’s still hot when the sun goes down so there is no need to bring a jacket if you stay out that long. You put two small hoops into your ears and make sure your hair is perfect before hearing the familiar sound that gets butterflies erupting in your stomach.

Dean’s motorcycle can be heard even before he enters the cul-de-sac, and you race to your window to see him round the corner. A wide smile spreads across your face and you race downstairs to greet him. Dean parks his bike when you come barreling out of the house. He catches you in his arms and hugs you while rubbing your back affectionately. He’d kiss you but his helmet is still on.

“Slow down there. What’s the rush?” he chuckles and slides up his visor so you can see his beautiful green eyes.

“Nothing. I just missed you is all.”

“It’s been two days,” he laughs.

“That’s too long. Where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise. You ready to go?”

“Yep!” You twirl to show him your entire outfit. “Do I look okay?”

“Y/N, you are the most beautiful woman. It doesn’t matter what you wear.”

“Even if I was wearing a burlap sack?”

“I think that’d be sexier.” He chuckles. “Come here.”

You step up to him and he grabs the second helmet strapped to his bike. He slides the helmet over your head and makes sure it’s on snugly before helping you strap it in. He’s concentrating so hard on the small task, his thick fingers pressing delicately into your neck. One of the things you absolutely love doing is behaving like a brat for him. He radiates dominant energy with just about everyone in his life, and you’re no exception. He loves you with all of his heart and he treats you like a princess but you love it when he loses his shit just because you decided to have an attitude.

It’s why you reach up and slap his visor close as he is trying to strap you in.

Dean’s entire hand wraps around your throat and he tips his head to the right, his eyes burning with a challenge. A challenge that says, “Are you sure you want to play with me?” Dean tips your head back more and tucks the strap into the helmet to keep it out of the way. Then, he slides his hand from your throat to hook under the helmet by your chin. He pulls you closer so that your helmet bumps against his.

“Keep it up, sweetheart.”

You can’t help the giggle that comes out. He makes you want to melt into a puddle at his feet. Lord knows he’s tried before. Dean gets on his bike and stabilizes it for you to get on. You grab his shoulder and swing your leg over it, settling on the bike right behind him.

“So, where are we going?” you ask. There are microphones inside the helmets so that you can talk to each other comfortably. “I made sure to dress for every occasion.”

“It’s a surprise, princess.” You smile. “Just enjoy the ride.”

Dean turns the bike on and kicks the stand back before peeling back onto the road. You reach around him and grip the very small handle so you have something to anchor yourself to the bike. You wish you could feel the wind in your hair just once without a helmet but there is no way Dean would ever let you ride his bike without a helmet on. He cares too much about your safety to do that, even if you suggest riding around the neighborhood.

An idea pops into your head when you remember a TikTok you watched the other day of a woman who was backpacking for a biker. Thank God no one can see the mischievous smirk forming on your face. You wrap one arm around Dean’s waist while the other rests on his thigh. Without giving him any warning, you slide the resting hand over the front of his jeans and right over his cock.

He stiffens and waits for you to make the next move. You’re playing with fire and he knows it. You love it too much. You love the animal you bring out in him whenever you do this shit to him. You haven’t even moved and he’s already growing underneath your touch. He slows down for a red light and you make the bold move to palm his cock gently. Dean reaches behind himself and hooks his fingers under your helmet by your chin. He yanks you to him and you move your hands to his thighs to steady yourself.

“You’re playing with fire, sweetheart. Do you want me to turn this bike around and punish you at home?”

“Maybe,” you smirk.

“You’re such a fucking brat.”

The light turns green so Dean is forced to let go of your helmet and continue to ride all the way to Barnes and Noble. When you see the sign, you audibly gasp in excitement. Not even the worst of storms will keep you from going to Barnes and Noble. This is your favorite place on Earth as you love reading so much. Your book collection is always growing since Dean loves to spend his money on you.

“You brought me to Barnes and Noble?” you grin and get off the bike when he parks.

“Get as many books as you want. This spree is on me.”

You don’t have to be told this twice. You don’t even take your helmet off before sprinting into the store. There are a lot of genres you love reading but there is one that will be above everyone else--dark romance. You love men in masks, men on bikes, men who murder, men who take what they want, and men who love unconditionally. The sex is always hot between two enemies or between a stalker and his victim.

Dean leaves to go to the bathroom while you browse the book selection. There are so many you have read so you’re always looking for new books to read, new characters to invest into. You grab a book you’ve never read before but have seen all over TikTok and turn to a random page. A smirk spreads across your face when you read all about the two characters fucking. You have no context clues but you can guess the premise when you see the word “Maze of Mirrors”.

You’re so invested in the story that you don’t notice someone standing behind you.

“Is this what you read about? Naughty girl.” You slam the book close and turn to Dean who no doubt has a smirk underneath his helmet. He backs you into the bookshelf and grips your neck with his calloused hands. “Why don’t you get that book and we can recreate that scene at home?”

If he wasn’t holding you, you’d already be kneeling on the floor for him.

“Okay,” you squeak out.

Barnes and Noble will always be here when you’re ready to come back and get more books but there will never be another moment like this with Dean. Every time Dean suggests something like this, it’s always a different scenario. There is nothing about Dean you hate. You really found your soulmate in him.

Want to be tagged? Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

#dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester fic #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester fanfic #dean winchester angst #dean winchester fluff #dean winchester fiction #dean winchester fan fiction #dean winchester fan fic #supernatural #supernatural fic #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fanfic #supernatural fluff #supernatural angst

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justagalwhowrites · 8 months

Text

Halcyon - Ch. 5: I've Never Been a Bad Influence a Day in My Life

You and Joel get closer as you put together your lists. A continuation of Halcyon from the prologue through Ch. 4, a modern no outbreak AU TLOU fic found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: Masturbation, fantasy about P in V sex. Modern No Outbreak AU, No use of Y/N, Slow burn, 18+ only, Minors DNI

Length: 5K

AO3 | Main Master List | Prologue | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

October, 2022

“Why can’t I add to your list?” You pouted a little, can of hard seltzer in your hand as your float drifted to the middle of Joel’s pool.

“Because you’re gonna just use that power for evil, not good,” Joel replied.

“Would not!” You shoved off the side of the pool with your foot, floating back toward the middle of the water.

“Am I allowed to put shit on your list?” He asked, sitting on the edge of the pool, his feet in the water and a beer in his hand.

You scoffed.

“Absolutely not.”

“Well, there you go,” he shrugged. “Goes both ways.”

“You’d be a dick about it!” You kicked the water in his direction but the spray of it fell short and you watched him try to not laugh. “You’d put things on there like ‘buy Joel beer for the rest of his life’ or ‘speak in a bad British accent for a week…’”

“Can you do a good British accent?” He asked, brows raised.

“That is beside the point.”

“What are you gonna add to my list, hm?” There was a teasing edge in his voice as he took a sip of beer. “Get a new wardrobe? Get Sarah a dog?”

“OK, both of those are good additions,” you said, defensive. “But no, not what I was thinking.”

“Then what, Goldie?”

“Put in a hot tub,” you said, chin raised.

He barked a laugh.

“A hot tub?”

“A hot tub,” you nodded. “How can I come over to your house and float in the water if it’s too cold to go in the pool? Which it will be in like… a few weeks. You need a hot tub.”

“It’s already too cold,” he said. “That water’s below 70 degrees, couldn’t pay me to get in there now. Lucky I’m in this far as it is.”

“See?” You said. “Hot tub.”

“You’re ridiculous,” he shook his head.

“If your list is shitty can I add to it?”

“If you actually think my list is shitty we can discuss it,” he said. Your float drifted close to him and you were afraid, for a moment, that he was going to splash you. Instead, he just pushed the edge of it with his foot, sending you drifting back toward the middle of the water. “Still down to compare tomorrow night?”

“Think so,” you said, taking a sip of your seltzer. “As long as you don’t mock me relentlessly for it.”

“When do I not mock you relentlessly?”

“Excellent point,” you said. “I should get better friends.”

“Probably so.”

“At least now you come with Sarah,” you sighed dramatically. “So I guess I’ll keep bugging you…”

“God, you two are gonna kill me,” he said, trying to look serious but a hint of a smile on his lips. “Worst idea I ever had, lettin’ you two get to know each other…”

You giggled a little at that. You and Sarah had become thick as thieves since you and Joel had reconnected now two weeks ago.

It was hard to believe that he’d only been back in your life less than a month. But then, it was hard to believe he’d ever been out of your life at all. You’d only gone a few days without seeing him since that night at the bar and, on those days, the two of you were almost constantly texting. It was the most natural thing in the world, having your life fall into step alongside Joel’s. It reminded you so much of high school even though you were in your 30s now, your lives moving in parallel until they collided at the end of the day and you came over for dinner or went and cheered on Sarah at her soccer game or Joel showed up at your door with beer. Even after all this time, he just knew you and you just knew him. You could read his posture as easily as a book, instantly knowing the kind of day he had by the way he opened the door or flopped on your couch. He seemed to be able to peer inside your mind on command, just a raised eyebrow or a sigh telling him everything he needed to know about how you were feeling and how to make it better.

There was one day where you hadn’t intended to see him at all but it’d turned shitty and he just somehow picked up on it from the tone of your texts. New paperwork had come over from Gale’s attorney and you resigned yourself to spending the evening picking over the bones of your marriage with a bottle of wine and a wilted salad - because you definitely didn’t have the emotional energy to go by the grocery store - when Joel texted. It was a meme that you responded to with just an lol before going back to the paperwork. He FaceTimed just 30 seconds later and you frowned, answering it.

“Hi?” You said brows raised.

He nodded sagely.

“What I thought,” he said. “You look like shit.”

“Gee thanks.”

He rolled his eyes.

“For you you look like shit. What’s wrong.”

You narrowed your eyes and he laughed.

“What?” He asked

“How can you just tell?” You replied. “It’s weird.”

“Come over,” he said instead of answering. He flipped his camera around and Sarah made a face, sticking her tongue out, her hair in two springy buns on the top of her head.

You frowned.

“Where are you?”

He turned the camera back around.

“Picking up pizza,” he said. “I’ll grab an extra cheese bread, come over.”

“I’ve been drinking…”

“We’ll pick you up,” he said. “Come over.”

“Please?” Sarah jumped to try to get in the frame and Joel laughed, tilting the camera so she was visible. “It’ll be fun! OH! Spend the night! Come sleep over again, please?”

Joel tilted the camera so he was back in the frame.

“You really wanna disappoint my kid?” He asked. “C’mon.”

“Yeah!” Sarah said, bouncing just out of frame again, just a bit of her bun appearing in the bottom corner as she jumped. “Don’t let down the kid, that’s just shitty.”

“Hey,” Joel said but you could tell he was trying not to smile. She stopped bouncing. “Language.”

“Sorry.”

He turned his attention back to you.

“Be there in 10,” he said. “Can’t let you just sit and wallow. Need pizza for that.”

He and Sarah picked you up and Sarah insisted on cranking Taylor Swift in the car, signing Look What You Made Me Do into her water bottle in the back seat while you balanced warm pizza boxes on your lap, trying not to laugh when you and Joel exchanged glances at red lights.

At dinner, you pulled a pepperoni off your slice of pizza and stuck it on the end of your nose and held very serious eye contact with Joel and Sarah as they spoke, nodding along carefully so as to not disturb the topping dangling from your face. Sarah tried very hard not to laugh and did a pretty good job of it until you made a face at her from across the table when Joel’s back was turned and she cackled, laughing so hard she almost knocked over her soda can.

“You bein’ a bad influence on my kid?” He asked when he handed you the paper towel you’d requested.

“Joel,” you said, deathly serious, pepperoni slice still on the tip of your nose. “I’ve never been a bad influence a day in my life.”

After dinner, as Joel did the dishes, you sat on the couch with Sarah and listened as she told you about one of her friends at school who hadn’t been as kind lately. You nodded along until Sarah seemed to run out of steam, slumping down against the cushion with a slightly tired look on her face.

“Well,” you said. “Have you told her that you’ve been feeling hurt by how she’s been treating you lately?”

She scrunched her face a little.

“No,” she said. “But I thought that’d be pretty obvious…”

You shrugged.

“Sometimes it’s not. She may not even know she’s doing it. If I were you, I’d tell her that you’ve been feeling hurt and ask if she’s doing OK because it sounds like this is a change for her. If she’s hurting you that might be because her feelings are getting hurt somewhere else.”

“I hadn’t thought of that,” she nodded a little. “That’s a good idea.”

“I do have those occasionally,” you said and she smiled a little at you.

The three of you watched part of a movie before Sarah went to get ready for bed and you eavesdropped from the living room as Joel read to her in her room, the door opened just enough to hear when his voice changed with the characters.

“Peeta sighs,” Joel said like Joel before his voice shifted to something that sounded more boyish but still strong and deep, almost what you remembered from when you first met him. You smiled. “'Well, there is this one girl. I’ve had a crush on her ever since I can remember. But I’m pretty sure she didn’t know I was alive until the reaping…’”

Joel flopped next to you on the couch when he was done and you held out your glass of wine. He took it, taking a big sip before handing it back.

“You look tired,” you said, holding the glass.

He shrugged.

“No days off from this whole dad thing. Don’t really want a day off but still… get tired after a bit.” He looked over at you and smiled a little. “Thanks for talking with her. Think she needs someone like you around.”

“Oh, someone who managed to tank her relationship and got stuck starting over in her 30s?” You asked. “That kind of someone?”

He rolled his eyes.

“A woman…”

“Oh, is that all?”

He glared at you.

“A woman,” he said again. “But one who’s lived some life, knows how to navigate the hard shit. One who’s willing to listen to her problems. She’s got me and Tommy for that but can’t help but feel like I’ve let her down by not giving her some kind of… I don’t fuckin’ know, feminine influence.”

“Ahh yes, the mysterious feminine,” you nodded sagely. Joel picked up a pillow and smacked you in the stomach with it, making you laugh as you caught it and held it to yourself. “Joel, you’re doing great with her.”

“Yeah?” He asked, serious now.

“Yeah,” you said, serious, too. “You really are. She’s so lucky to have you, Joel. You have no idea.”

“I’m lucky to have her,” he said, looking toward Sarah’s room for a moment before turning back to you. “So, you have the kind of bad day that you want to talk about it or the kind of bad day that you want to get fucked up about it?”

“The latter.”

“Then chug that wine,” he said, shoving himself off the couch. “And maybe change into your pajamas, I’m getting the tequila.”

You swapped numbers with Sarah at breakfast the next day. You and Joel were both hung over and trying to pretend like you hadn’t been up until 2:30 on a work night getting hammered until you passed out in a heap on his couch only to be roused by a groggy Sarah at 7 in the morning.

She’d taken to texting you then, sometimes just silly selfies, sometimes memes you didn’t really get, sometimes with questions about friends at school. You were pretty sure your heart melted the first time she called you Aunt Goldie, a sense of belonging wrapping around you that you’d never really known before.

“We still on for tomorrow?” Joel asked, eyes following the slow, lazy path your float was making across his pool. “Make a night out of this whole project, kick things off right.”

“Hell yeah,” you said, drifting back to Joel. He didn’t shove you back out to the water this time. “Did I tell you I’m seeing Anna for lunch? I cannot just go into that blind, I’ll need an out…”

“She’s doin’ that well, huh?” Joel asked.

“I don’t know,” you sighed. “She’s supposedly sticking with her program but… I feel like I should be a better sister and try to check in more but then it just feels like babysitting and that doesn’t seem right, either.”

“At a certain point, she’s gotta do it on her own,” Joel said. “You’re her sister, not her mom.”

“I know,” you nodded. “But I feel like I should have checked in on her more after our mom died. She was a teenager and I just left her alone…”

“You were 20 years old,” Joel said gently. “Not like you were equipped for that shit.”

You shrugged and took another drink.

“Hey,” he said, nudging your float gently, just enough to make you look up at him. “Don’t be hard on yourself for that. You were handed a shit situation and you did what you could with it. Trust me, I know.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “Ended up in a similar boat with Tommy. Spent years - literal years - bailing his ass out of jail and begging him to get his shit together. Eventually he did a stint in the army and got it figured out. At least a bit. She’ll get there. But it’s not your job to get her there.”

“Yeah,” you sighed. “You’re probably right.”

“Who, me?” He asked, mocking. “Right? Never thought I’d see the day…”

“Shove it,” you splashed at him, the water dripping down his face and soaking his t-shirt. You snorted as you watched him fight the urge to laugh.

“Gonna pay for that,” he said, setting his beer down on the side of the pool and grabbing your float as you tried to paddle away.

“No!” You shrieked and laughed, shoving your seltzer into the cupholder as more of you ended up in the cold pool water than you really wanted in your rush to escape.

“You started it!” Joel was leaning precariously over the water now, trying to splash you again while keeping you from retreating. “Shoulda just kept those little hands to yourself…”

“They’re not little!”

He yanked your float back toward the side of the pool and nodded down at one of your hands.

“Freakishly small…”

“Yours are just freakishly big you mutant!” You grabbed a fistful of his shirt and watched as he realized a second too late what was about to happen.

“Oh shit,” his eyes went wide and you laughed in victory before you pulled him all the way into the pool, jeans and all. He brought you down as he went, the float capsizing and sending you and your mostly empty drink can into the cold water with a sharp yelp.

You went under, the chlorine stinging your eyes as you twisted and tried to right yourself below the water. You and Joel surfaced at the same time, not even a foot apart and gasping for breath, laughing as you tried to brush your soaked hair back from your face.

“It’s so cold!” You shivered and splashed at him before crossing your arms tightly over yourself.

“Why are you complainin’ to me?” He shivered back. “You’re the one who wanted to be in the damn pool…”

“In the floatie!” You said. “I was mostly dry until you got involved!”

“Got justice you mean,” he said, reaching for your can and pulling it out of the water, dumping it out before setting it on the side of the pool. “You’re the one who put us in here…”

“You’re the one who was being mean,” you said, reaching out for him and pressing your cold fingers to his chest, the heat of him still apparent even in the water. You sighed contentedly. “That’s better…”

“Jesus, what are you, ice?” He griped, tugging you against him with a little yelp. “Gonna fuckin’ freeze to death if you’re not careful… ridiculous…”

You giggled once but pressed yourself closer to him, soaking up his heat and pressing your cold fingers to his exposed skin.

“OK, you could be less mean about it,” he said, pulling back from you just enough to scowl down at you. “Frozen fuckin’ hands…”

You laughed and realized, very suddenly, how close you were to him. You weren’t sure the last time you’d been quite this close to him, the last time you could feel every line of him through his clothes, the last time his mouth had been that close to your own. Your heart sped up. His eyes searched yours and you could feel his breath on your skin and suddenly, you weren’t close enough to him. Not close enough at all.

“Dad?” Sarah’s groggy voice called from the sliding glass door, making you jump, both of your heads turning toward her. Her face was scrunched and a curl had broken free of its braid, sticking straight out from the side of her head. “Is everything OK?”

“Course it is, baby girl,” Joel frowned. “Why wouldn’t it be? What are you doin’ out of bed?”

“You’re being loud,” she groaned. “You’re never loud.”

“M’sorry kiddo,” Joel said, separating from you and working his way to the edge of the pool, pulling himself out of the water and dripping on the stone edge. “Gimme just a second to get Goldie out of the water before she freezes to death and dry her off, I’ll come tuck you in again in just a minute…”

“Can I get another chapter?” She said it fast, the words all strung together, her eyes big. “Please? They just got into the arena and…”

“We’ll see,” he said. “But only because it’s Friday and you’re sleeping over at Emma’s tomorrow so you won’t get one then. Inside, go on.”

He watched her go and then went to the lounge chair at the side of the pool, getting the only towel he’d brought outside and holding it away from his body, spread open wide.

“Hurry up, before I change my mind,” he said.

“Such a gentleman,” you said, trying not to let your teeth chatter and trying to shove the ache that was still growing all hollow and wanting inside you down deep. You got out of the water and he wrapped you tightly in the towel, his arms going tightly around you.

“Not really,” he said, pulling you back against his broad chest and squeezing you so the water from him soaked into the towel before he shook his shaggy curls over you so drops of water got all over your face as you laughed. “There, cured you of THAT notion…”

“Thanks so much,” you said wryly as he released you. You turned to face him as he ran his fingers through his soaked hair and his shirt pulled up just enough that you caught a glimpse of the smooth flesh around his hips and you found yourself drifting closer to him again before you stopped yourself. Joel put his arms down and seemed to notice exactly where you were, just looking at you for a moment before he cleared his throat awkwardly.

“I should go tuck Sarah back in,” he said. “Get into something dry so I don’t get her all soaked…”

“Right,” you said, stepping back from him. “Sorry we woke your kid up because you just couldn’t leave well enough alone…”

“I will throw your ass back in that pool,” he said, going to open the door for you. “Don’t try me.”

“Oh don’t worry Miller,” you teased. “I know just what you’re capable of.”

He started toward the stairs, a little trail of water in his wake as he went, and you watched the pull of the wet fabric of his shirt over his shoulders. You swallowed, hard.

“I’m just going to head out,” you said and he stopped, turning to frown at you.

“You sure?”

“Yeah,” you said. “Really should go wash this chlorine out of my hair. But see you tomorrow?”

“With the list?” Joel asked.

“With the list,” you answered.

“Lookin’ forward to it,” he said, turning to go up the stairs again before looking back over his shoulder. “Drive safe, Goldie.”

He didn’t wait for a response, just heading for his room.

Your heart was still racing.

You left the towel draped over the banister and just pulled on the oversized t-shirt you’d put in your bag before going to your car.

You tried not to think about Joel as you drove home.

It didn’t do you any good to think about him that way. It was Joel. He didn’t see you that way, drifting in that direction was what had ruined things so many years before. You’d just gotten him back, things were so good again, you felt like you belonged again, you couldn’t fuck that up, not because you’d never been able to move past a school girl crush.

But you wanted to kiss him. Fuck, you wanted to kiss him.

You tried not to think about kissing him. You tried not to think about what happened after the last time you’d kissed him. How quickly everything had dissolved, how you’d gone from picturing a future with Joel - a different one than you’d held in your mind outside of fantasy before - to running as far and as fast as you could in a matter of hours.

It’s Goldie, he’d said then. It’s the worst thing that could happen, I wish it was anybody else…

You flinched at the memory, shoving it away. No, you didn’t think about that, not when you could help it. Just like you didn’t think about the way Joel’s lips felt against your skin, how his fingers - warm and think - had traced over you, how he made you feel so clearly seen and adored in a way that no one else had before, in a way your husband had never really seemed to. How he still made you feel that way.

“Fuck,” you muttered to yourself as you parked, dropping your head to your steering wheel with a groan before you went in your house, closing your car door with a little too much force.

You showered and forced yourself to keep your hands away from your aching slit. You were not going to fuck yourself in your bathroom to the idea of sleeping with your best friend. You weren’t. You weren’t a teenager anymore and you weren’t going to act like one. You were better than this.

Your hair was still damp when you gave up on getting any writing or grading done and went to bed, an almost frustrating, throbbing ache between your thighs. You stared at the ceiling in the dark for a while before you all but threw the covers off and rifled through your nightstand for the discreet little pink vibrator you’d bought years ago when you’d first figured out that, while your husband had many talents, making you come wasn’t one of them.

You went to your usual fallback for porn but didn’t find anything that was really working for you, the ache of longing just getting worse as you gently toyed with your clit under the covers in the dark. Your cunt was slick, your wetness seeping down to your nightie and coating your fingers. It felt like forever that you’d been touching yourself and getting nowhere when the batteries on your vibrator died and you whimpered, kicking your legs down into your mattress in frustration.

“Goddammit,” you moaned into your pillow, tossing your phone and vibrator aside, the ache in you worse than you’d ever really remembered it being before. There was no way you were going to be able to sleep like this, your whole body drawn tight and needy. You fumbled in your drawer for the charging cable and plugged the vibrator in before sighing and staring up at the ceiling again.

Your thoughts drifted to Joel again. You couldn’t help it, he’d felt so good against you in the pool. He knew you so well, even after all this time. He kept your favorite snacks at his house and draped a blanket over you when you started getting cold when watching a movie. He was so funny and so handsome it hurt to look at him and he’d felt so fucking good.

Your fingers slipped between your legs again without really thinking about it, brushing against your swollen, sensitive clit. You resisted it for a moment, the idea of falling into the fantasy of you with Joel, but the need drawing everything inside you all tight and molten won.

It swallowed you quickly once you gave in.

The memory of him was there at the fore so fast, the way his lips had felt on you so many years ago. How you thought they’d feel against you now. His hands ranged over you, around your waist, down to your hips, his fingers twisting and knotting in the fabric there as he bunched it up to hold you firmer, reach you better. You moaned and rocked into your hand, sliding lower, your palm pressed against your sensitive nub as you slipped a finger inside yourself with a moan. You worked yourself open slowly, your slick making easy work of it, as you imagined it was his hand between your legs, his fingers sinking into you. How he’d take your swimsuit off and line his cock up with your entrance and push inside of you as he moaned your name. How his fingers would grip your flesh, prying at you as though he was trying to take you apart to keep pieces of you for himself. How he’d work himself so deep into you that you were certain no one else had ever come quite so close to climbing into another person’s skin before.

You rocked your hips against your hand to the thought of him, not sure where memory ended and fantasy began, the fingers not plunging needily into your hole finding their way to your breast, grasping at the soft swell there, your own hand so unsatisfyingly small compared to his. You remembered the way his voice trembled as he breathed your name - his mouth against the tender skin at the base of your ear - as his cock filled you, the whole of him buried inside like he belonged there as he came.

“Joel!” You gasped as your own orgasm hit, tight channel throbbing around the three fingers you’d managed to fit inside yourself, slick pooling in your palm and your tit filling your other hand.

You came harder than you had in years, let alone from only using your hand and not your toy. It took you a few minutes to come down from the high of it, indulging in the fantasy of him in a way you hadn’t done since your freshman year of college. He last time you gave into it was back when you’d first started dating Gale but you’d felt so desperately alone, like no one had ever bothered to learn you at all. So you’d let yourself pretend that your best friend was still your best friend, that he loved you the way you loved him and that fucking you hadn’t been some mistake he’d made on prom night. It had seemed the most supreme extravagance, pretending that Joel would have wanted you to come like that with him. It still did.

You put a stop to all that when Gale proposed, solidifying your relationship in an entirely new way. You tucked the memory of Joel and his body on and within yours away then. You’d never intended to think about him that way again. But then, you’d never intended to get divorced, either.

“Fuck,” you sighed, shoving yourself out of bed to pee and clean up the mess you’d made of yourself. Before you lay back down, you opened the golden notebook on your bedside table and found the page with the list. You went to the bottom and tried to add another line but the pen in the elastic loop wouldn’t write. You groaned before fishing out the red pen you’d left in your nightstand from a night you were editing in bed from the top drawer. You added two words to the bottom of your list - trying to ignore the way the diamond of your engagement ring caught the light from your lamp, casting little rainbows on the paper - and circled them, pressing the pen into the paper harder than you really needed to.

“There,” you said, capping the pen and dropping it on the notebook you hadn’t bothered to close. The pen rolled until it came to a stop, the red cap almost pointing to the newly added words as though they needed any more attention.

That, you thought, was the solution. If you could just figure out how to accomplish that, you could put Joel back in that little box and keep this stupid crush from blowing up your whole life a second time, as long as you weren’t an idiot about it.

You switched off the lamp and pulled your blankets tightly around yourself, trying to ignore the feeling that the words were glaring at you from their perch on your night stand. They blinked at you like neon behind your eyelids and you tried not to see them in the same way you tried not to think about Joel’s body on yours in the pool as you drifted off to sleep.

Get laid.

Next Chapter

A/N: I just adore these two. Honestly, they keep getting away from me, their conversations are so fun to write and explore that I get lost in what I'm trying to accomplish with a chapter. But that's OK! The ride is the point of this whole fic thing, right?

Thank you for being patient with this chapter! I got a bit sidetracked with another project but I think I'm in a good place to get back to my once a week updates here for a while. I hope it was at least somewhat worth the wait!

Thank you for being here! Love you!!

#fanfic #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x oc #halcyon

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