#he's also painstakingly aware of how watched he's actually being

[candlecordyceps]

Ok I’m taking the time to Yap now WARNING FOR ANIME SPOILERS IF YOU HAVENT WATCHED IT!!!

This is just my raw emotional reactions, opinions, and just general interpretations of the last few scenes in the episode.

Starting off, I’m beginning with Shuro confronting Laois for what he did. Shuro seems to be a very high-standing fellow from what I’ve been given so far (as an anime only currently- I will start reading the manga once it finishes releasing I promise). He has guards that are close to him, and I assume he’s rich, and knowing that he will DEFINITELY care a lot more about black magic and laws, because they effect him more due to his (assumed) status. He’s understandably terrified of what this means for Falin. And he confronts Laois by asking him,

“Do you know what you’ve done?” He tells him all the hell that he can go through for it, what FALIN will go through for it, Marcille will go through- but Laois knows.

He’s well aware of the consequences and he was willing to do it anyways. For Falin. For his sister. Because she was willing to risk her life for him and for everyone, everyone followed suit, and the desperation to do so was so powerful they were willing to do what it took. And Laois ALSO knows, that despite what Shuro is doing right now,

He would’ve done the same. Shuro won’t kill him, because he knows he would’ve done anything too. Laois doesn’t GET people. He thought he could trust Shuro to be quiet. At this point it’s pretty obvious to me, especially in the episode with him being clingy and friendly with Shuro, calling him the one of the “only ones to call him a friend”, despite Shuro’s very obvious uncomfortable-disturbed-annoyed attitude toward Laois and general unwellness being unnoticed (until told specifically of it, to which Laois immediately got onto Shuro about his health). Yet, he knows Shuro would’ve done anything too.

Shuro stays his sword, Laois wishes for understanding, Kabru gets a drama boner (I find it funny how into it he is), and the scene changes. And FUCK man.

Laois loves Falin so much, and he knows how much Shuro cares. He cared enough to return. He told him everything because he needs the help, and he’s banking on the care for Falin to be enough to work with him to return her to safety. I’m SOOOO hoping he does help. That he breaks down and the sword falls from Laois’s neck. That even though it goes against a law so potent it could get everyone involved into extremely deep trouble, the bonds he’s made are enough. I don’t know Shuro well enough at all. Lord knows if he’ll even keep it to himself if they get out of the dungeon. But GOD am I not thrilled to figure out more. AND NOW, to the scene that made me scream from my seat multiple times,

Faliiiiiinnnnnnnnn GHHHHHOOOODDDD. When I tell you I GASPED. Watching the hands that we had witnessed painstakingly put together. The hands That two people took the care into fixing and making sure each was in the perfect place- scraping against the floor. Bloody around the sleeves, clawing forward- on a mission for someone she doesn’t actually know. Her mind is warped by the mission of the mage. Put back together just to bleed and be reshaped and melded to something scary and unknown and new-

AND ITS TERRIFYING. LOOK AT HER. JESUS CHRRRIIIIIIIST. Someone so loved and someone they all want to protect is RIGHT THERE, but she’s almost unrecognizable beyond her face, and mentally she’s so incredibly far away.

I can’t imagine the distress in everyone as they realize that they have to fight the exact person they’ve been fighting for. Because there’s no way she is peaceful and there is no way she’ll just “be Falin” without some extreme inbetweens. There’s no way that the mage doesn’t return if/when they succeed. I’m SOO excited to witness them figure it out and try to save her once more.

IF YOU MADE IT HERE THANKS FOR READING ME YAPPING!! This is mainly a little storage for me later when I wanna revisit and figure out what I thought before I knew what happened. Have a nice day/night readers!

[saltygilmores]

THOUGHTS WHILE WATCHING GILMORE GIRLS: S3/EP6: TAKE THE DEVILED EGGS (PT 4)

Meanwhile, in Boston, the GG's arrive at Creepy Sherry's baby shower. Although Lorelai only intended to drop Rory off and skedaddle to do some shopping, Creepy Sherry lures Lorelai into the affair with the offer of free food and booze. The first half of the event is fairly unremarkable. Sherry isn't exhibiting the same alarmingly weird behavior around Rory as she did the first time she met her (YET). Crusty's incoming spawn will be named Georgia “GiGi”. As far as which Gilmore Girls infant’s life is more fucked just by virtue of being born, Gigi or Doula, at least Gigi has a slight positive advantage by having a normal name. Crusty's apartment is way too nice for a human cockroach to be living in. Sherry claims Christopher doesn't care whether his child is a boy or girl and why would he it's not like he's going to be spending any time with it whether it be boy girl or four eyed purple martian.

Sherry.... ran over a bunch of people with her car and her friend helped her cover it up? The tone in this woman's voice and Sherry’s non response to this accusation are way too netural to tell if she's kidding or not. I tried Googling whether or not this was a reference to some current event of the day (did some celebrity run down a bunch of people with a car in the early 2000s?) but it was inconclusive. Edit: thank you @katereads for confirming that there was indeed a publicist who rammed her car into a group of people in the early 2000s and this is likely what CreepySherry's friend is referencing. It made big headlines at the time and Lizzie Grubman was a household name and late night talk show fodder. I knew I wasn't dreaming that.

I'm sexually attracted to painstakingly alphabetized collections of things and I hate that this beauty resides in Crusty's home.

Women are always cleaning up after useless men on this show.

I beg to differ.

The party continues with little incident as the ladies play silly baby shower games. Lorelai and Rory are uncomfortable because they're quirky and Not Like The Other Basics and Rory kinda looks she has been swallowed alive by social anxiety nearly to the point of tears and Lorelai's pop culture references & jokes don't land causing awkward silences (again). Rory performs some truly ear-splitting karaeoke. Lorelai provides Sherry with her special brand of very helpful commentary.

Okay "I have to childbirth at 5pm" is hilarious. No ine is asking the important question. How did Crusty manage to land this intelligent, beautiful and ambitious over achiever? She claims to live less than 3 miles from Harvard University, yet Crusty is the best man the entire city of Boston has to offer?

Says Sherry as Christopher's first baby that she's at least somewhat aware he had no contact with for 16 years sits feet away from her. Pregnancy hormones have scrambled her brains and she's talking complete nonsense. (but she's clearly already lost her marbles long ago seeing as she had sex with Christopher to begin with).

That is...a thing someone wrote.

This is the distance Sherry claims she lives from Harvard. How utterly convenient. Some very casual and not scientific Googling where I could very well be wrong tells me that the distances between the closest points in Boston proper to Harvard are a lot further than this, more like 5+ miles, but okay. Fine. It's close enough. It's tv. Sherry and Crusty might also live in a Boston-adjacent area and everyone is like eh close enough, let's call it Boston anyway, like Dean saying he's from Chicago the city but he was actually raised in Chicago's sewers. Honestly I just wanted an excuse to go on a side quest to determine if AmyShermanPalladino pulls these numbers completely out of her ass or if there's some research behind it. Like where 22.8 miles from Yale lands you on a map. Sherry claims she doesn't like children and never planned to get pregnant but Crusty got her pregnant anyway, quelle surprise. Hooo boy! Creepy Sherry's about to turn up the Over Familiarity to Eleven.

I cannot be the only person who finds this woman's strange behavior toward Rory alarming. Why do you always want to get so close to Rory, creepy lady? Worry about your own CrustySpawn now. Dial it back. Creepy Sherry is just chock full of presumptions ain't she. Among her wild presumptions are: 1) that Rory will get accepted to Harvard/ that she won't end up at another school entirely 2) that she actually cares about having a half sister 3) that she actually wants to spend every minute of her free time in college with Crusty and an unfamiliar infant 4) that Crusty will still be around when the baby is born 5) that Rory in any way shape or form consented to any of these plans 6) that Rory's visible extreme discomfort upon hearing these ideas is just something to be ignored 7) (as Lorelai points out a moment later) that given the choice she will prefer to spend her weekends with Crusty and Sherry instead of with her own mother who is she is extremely close to. The only assumption that Sherry has correct is that Rory is going to have virtually no life in college besides academics and couldn't use "I'm too busy" as an excuse to escape forced after-school bonding with her father, creepy stepmother and emotionally neglected half-sister.

This...doesn't make a molecule of sense. Lorelai's nephew is Jess, lol. Ain't that grand. I wish Luke and Lorelai had gotten married a lot earlier for no other reason than Jess could start calling her Auntie as soon as possible and call her that all the time. Just to fucking piss her off.

Another round of applause for the prop food on this show. Incredible.

I am of the belief that Crusty has a sniper perched on a rooftop with a red laser dot aimed at Sherry's head and she has to praise him at all times to anyone who will listen, even though everything she says is about how great he is is complete baloney, or it's lights out. Well, this was originally my conspiracy theory as to why Lorelai feels the need to constantly praise Dean and I'm carrying it over. Besides blackmail, hypnosis, a voodoo curse, or brainwashing, there's really no other explanation in either of these cases. Sherry continues that Crusty's supposed attentiveness which is totally a real thing that's happening right now comes as a shock to her because she initially thought Christopher was going to leave her to become a single mother. Now where would she ever get that idea? It was apparently something Lorelai did or said that inspired him to return to Sherry when she would have been better off raising the kid alone like Lorelai did. What did Lorelai do exactly? They did the horizontal mambo at her friend's wedding and then he skedaddled. Please, fill me in Creepy Sherry.

We know what happened. Please don't make me relive it in my memory. There's no way that 1 and a half minutes of boinking between Lorelai and Christopher was THAT good. If you blink, you'll miss Sherry admitting to Lorelai that she almost had an abortion.

[amazing-spiderling]

Top 5 superheros?

Hopefully these answers aren't too cliche. ;)

#1 - Nightcrawler

What can I say? Even thought Batman was my introduction to superhero comics way back in the 90's, it wasn't long before my friend started introducing me to X-Men and Excalibur. She was really into Kitty Pryde but I immediately fell in love with this blue dude. (Thankfully they appeared in a lot of comics side by side so she had lots of books for me to read.) I had a pirate phase because of this guy. I watched a lot of Errol Flynn. I have Flaming Carrot comics on my shelf because of that one time he had a FC t-shirt in one scene. He's my rotten soldier, hes my sweet cheese, my good-time boy.

#2 - Honey Badger (Gabby Kinney)

Maybe the only Marvel comic book gal I've ever cosplayed? She's just... fun. I appreciate that even at her young age, she's really been through it. As a clone "granddaughter" of Wolverine, she's got that tragic backstory down pat, but she looked at all that trauma, and how Logan and Laura responded to it, said, "nah" and went on about her life caring about animals and being besties with Deadpool. There's probably a metaphor in there about generational trauma or something, but needless to say, I'm just glad there's a superhero girl out there who wears pants and looks and acts her age.

#3 Spider-Man (all of them)

I know, everyone is so surprised. The most popular superhero in the whole world. XD As a middle schooler, I lived on a steady diet of Gargoyles and the Spider-Man animated series, both of which introduced a lot of (dubious) scientific concepts before my science class got anywhere close to talking about stuff like genetics or cloning. I know Peter Parker is written to be this supposedly relatable everyman, so it's not hard to project on to him, but that means there's a lot of *there* there. I think Spider-Man is also one of the heroes who best understands his position as a symbol. Other characters go about their super-lives, making choices that they think are right, but in the back of his head, I think Spidey is always aware of the fact that kids look up to him, and that holds him to a stricter code than a lot of heroes. He walks this razor thin line and is stressed out about it all the time, and that's what the kids call a complete mood.

#4 Foggy Nelson

Putting up with Matt Murdock's crap is a super-power, actually.

No, but seriously. I LOVE a best friend type (see also: Nightcrawler) who provides that pragmatic (but not gloomy) perspective that other "more exciting" hero types need. They're not just there for comic relief, or so bad things can happen to them when shit goes down, they're essential, and Foggy performs his role admirably in basically every incarnation.

#5 The Bowler (Mystery Men)

Shut up, I'm putting a Mystery Men entry on here because that movie kicks ass and more people should watch it. I was vaguely aware of this movie when it came out (because of my aforementioned interest in Flaming Carrot comics) but I wasn't in a position to go out and see it. A few years later I picked it out of a bargain bin and it rocked my socks off. Mystery Men's greatest crime is being ahead of its time. It's a pastiche that came out before the world was oversaturated with big budget super-flix. And the Bowler is easily best of the bunch. I have a soft spot for Janeane Garofalo who brings the exact energy this role needs. I love her for being a competent hero who is still flawed and has her own shit going on, and I love that she's just... a woman out there doing her best... FOR REVENGE. I painstakingly made her costume for Halloween one year and literally nobody got it and actually I do not care, it's dope.

[silverflame2724]

WWX decides to kill two birds with one stone and with the help of WQ reforges the Stygian Tiger Seal into a artificial golden core replacement which she implants into WWX.

WWXs eyes are now permanently red and he has the full power of the seal at his fingertips at all times because its part of him now.

Another side effect of this Stygian Core is discovered when WWX misses JZXs ambush and is instead attacked and disembowled in Carp Tower in full view of the cultivation world but then immediately regenerates without a scratch and blood ruined robes.

Watching WWX be more annoyed at the bloody robes than being disembowled because the Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation has apparently cultivated to immortality USING RESENTMENT shakes a lot of people.

“Huh.” Wen Qing says as she observes yet another failure of Wei Wuxian’s inventions quite literally blow up in his face. “So this Seal of yours protects you?”

Wei Wuxian coughs from the smoke of his busted invention, “Well, yeah. What about it?”

“It’s sentient, correct?”

“Yeah....?”

“Hmm.” Wen Qing observed the Seal slowly bobbing up and down. “Can you circulate resentful energy through the Seal for a moment? Don’t make it do anything. Just channel resentful energy through it like you would if you channeled spiritual energy normally.”

“Okayyy??” Wei Wuxian was perplexed but nevertheless obeyed and watched as Wen Qing’s eyes brightened. “What? What is it? Wen Qing, tell meeeeee! Don’t leave me out!!!!!”

“Brat, I’m trying to concentrate.” She scolded him, but her tone was fond.

Wei Wuxian waited a few more moments before it seemed like Wen Qing had seen enough.

“I want you to calm down when I say this, but I think you can reforge the Seal into a core which I can transfer into you.”

Wei Wuxian was silent......for about two seconds. “............What?”

Wen Qing sighed. “Wei Wuxian, when you channeled resentful energy through the Seal, the Seal acted much like how it would if someone were to channel spiritual energy through their core. The Seal can be made into an artificial core is what I’m saying.”

“I.....you are sure?” Wei Wuxian asked. He knew Wen Qing wouldn’t joke about this.

“Yes. I’m about eighty percent sure this will go well. I can even knock you out when I cut you open this time.”

“I.....okay.” Wei Wuxian was at a loss for words.

“So I’ve rendered you speechless.” Wen Qing smiled. “That kinda feels good.”

Wei Wuxian pouted.

...........

It took a few days to reform the Seal into a form that would resemble a core but Wei Wuxian was a genius and having Wen Qing there to bounce ideas off of helped in giving him a clue as to how a core should look and feel like.

“Are you ready?” Wen Qing asked.

Wei Wuxian, who was one hundred percent not ready, said, “Yes.”

Wen Qing saw through this. “It will be alright.” She squeezed his hand. “This time, it will be alright.”

That was the last thing he heard before he was knocked out.

.

.

.

When he awoke, his eyes had burned for a little before the pain dissipated.

Wen Qing had been in the midst of declaring the operation successful when she suddenly paused, “Huh.”

“What is it?” He asked nervously. Did something go wrong?

“Oh.....it’s, hmm. A’ Ning, get me some water, will you?”

Wen Ning returned not long later and locked eyes with Wei Wuxian. He seemed quite startled and that made Wei Wuxian even more curious. Based on Wen Qing’s reaction, it wasn’t anything bad, but still.....

“Wei Wuxian.”

“Yes?”

“Look at your reflection and you’ll understand why A’ Ning and I looked startled.”

Wei Wuxian did.

And he was shocked to see that his eyes have now become a brilliant shade of red. “What the hell?”

“Mmhm.” 

“Why are my eyes red???”

“Well, Wei Wuxian, I’m not sure if anyone’s told you, but you’re aware your eyes turn red everytime you use demonic cultivation, right?”

“Umm, no??”

“Well, they do. And considering what your core is, well. I’m not entirely surprised this happened. It was certainly unexpected though.” She finished cleaning up and left Wei Wuxian to just sit and admire his reflection.

...................

A week and some carefully supervised experiments later, Wei Wuxian had full control over his core. It was really just the same thing as how one would normally use a golden core, so it didn’t take long for him to get the hang of it. However, considering his core is the Seal, he also had the ability to control thousands of corpses and this time without any of the side effects.

He also spent time trying to get Suibian to respond to him using resentful energy. Considering that the sword was a spiritual sword, he was unsure of the compatibility but Suibian seemed to adapt well enough and Wei Wuxian was so glad he didn’t have to give up ever using his beloved sword again.

The next step on his agenda was to update the wards. Using the power of the Seal to strengthen it was a walk in the park and Wei Wuxian finally felt like despite how the cultivation world was always on the verge of killing him and the Wens, they’d be safe. The wards would hold out.

He then started absorbing all the deep-seated resentment in the soil to make it more fertile as well as trying to clear the Burial Mounds resentment by listening to the stories of the dead and helping them pass on. He also painstakingly dug up all the strewn about corpses, burned them and held proper funeral rites for them.

The crops flourished, the Wens and him were well-fed, and the Burial Mounds started to lighten up. Wei Wuxian no longer looked to be on the verge of death and he was able to cultivate without any problem.

Like this, time passed peacefully.

..........................

He was invited to his nephew’s one month celebration not long later and Wei Wuxian decided that this would be a good time to show the cultivation world that he truly is the grandmaster of demonic cultivation they all claim him to be. (In truth, he never considered himself to be any sort of grandmaster considering how little he knew of demonic cultivation, but it was different now.)

He told Wen Ning and the other corpses - of the resentful spirits that stayed behind saying they wanted to help him - to watch for any Jins since he trusted they’d take this chance to attack the Burial Mounds.

After he put on a concealing talisman for his eyes - since he knew that his different eye color would make a huge uproar -, he took to the skies with Suibian and nearly teared up. He’d missed flying. He’d missed this feeling. Laughing happily, he circulated the resentful energy in his core and sped up, becoming a black blur as he flew straight over Qiongqi Path.

When he landed at the foot of Koi Tower, invitation in hand, the Jin guards seemed surprised to see him there but had to let him in, not wanting to offend him. 

Jiang Yanli-- no, it was Jin Yanli saw him and waved excitedly, beckoning him over. Out of his sight, Jin Guangyao and Jin Guangshan seemed surprised to see him there.

“A’ Xian!”

“Shijie!” The form of address slipped out.

Her face softened. “You made it!”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world!”

The whispers of the people around him, wondering why he was there, surrounded him, but he ignored it. “Shijie, here’s my present!”

She looked at the bell with a little bit of wonder. “What does it do?”

“It’ll ensure that high level resentful beings and below won’t be able to move!”

“Oh, A’ Xian! This is perfect.”

“Thank you.” Jin Zixuan said, awkwardly. Wei Wuxian had forgotten he was there.

“No need! If it’s for Shijie’s son, I’d do anything!”

“He’s my son, too.”

Wei Wuxian made a face at that. “Well, yeah.”

“Wei Wuxian!” Jiang Cheng called and then stopped. “You have your sword?”

Wei Wuxian shrugged, “Yep!” He twirled around. “I started picking Suibian up again! But let’s not focus on that, Jiang Cheng!”

Jiang Cheng seemed hesitant but dropped it readily enough as they started bickering like they used to.

Suddenly--

“Wei Wuxian!” Someone yelled.

Wei Wuxian groaned. Can one day go on without someone yelling my name with hatred??? Like, please??

“Yeeeeeees?” He drawled tiredly.

And some Jin guy that vaguely looked like Jin Zixuan stomped in, looking murderous. “You, remove the curse that you put on me!!”

Murmurs started up all around them.

“Curse?” Wei Wuxian looked confused. “What curse? And who are you anyway? Am I supposed to know you from somewhere??” 

“You know who I am!!”

“No, I don’t actually.” Wei Wuxian scratched his head as he walked forward to get a better look. He really didn’t know!

“That’s Jin Zixun.” His shijie said, coming up to him. “From the Phoenix Mountain hunt?” Before Wei Wuxian could say anything, she continued. “The one that was supposed to apologize to you.”

“Hmm?” Wei Wuxian thought really hard. “Oh! I remember you now!” He said to a rather red-faced Jin Zixun. “Sorry about that buddy, but uhh I didn’t curse you! I didn’t even remember you until now!”

“It must be you! It has to be you!!” He screamed and it was really grating on his nerves. “See! Look at this!” He ripped his robes open and everyone gasped at the evidence of the Hundred Holes curse on his torso. 

Wei Wuxian whistled. “Well, that’s quite some curse. But I still didn’t do it.” Jin Zixun looked ready to refute so he continued, “Why would I curse you secretly when I usually make a big production of those I kill?”

People had to admit he had a point.

Jin Zixun continued to scream expletives until he finally rushed forward and in a rather bold move, drew his sword, plunging forward. However, in his anger, he completely missed his target and the direction of the blade pointed towards Jin Yanli.

“A’ Jie!!” Jiang Cheng screamed

Wei Wuxian was the closest to her and pushed her back, stepping in front of her taking the sword to his gut.

“A’ XIAN!!!” “WEI WUXIAN!!” “WEI YING!!” Jin Yanli, Jiang Cheng, and Lan Wangji, who was actually there, all screamed.

And Wei Wuxian who had just been disemboweled, grit his teeth and pulled out the sword. Which, in hindsight, was a horrible decision since blood got everywhere. Though not so much when his stomach stitched itself back together. “................Huh.” I knew I regenerated quickly considering how often I got hurt plowing the fields and digging up the corpses to put them to rest, but damn that was quick. Though..... “My robes!” He fake-cried, turning his attention to a stunned Jin Zixun. “You ruined my robes! I just managed to scrounge up enough money to buy this new pair and you ruined them!!!!” He fretted over the large rip over his abdomen. “What am I going to tell Wen Qing? She just told me not to stain them!”

The entire cultivation just stared at him in silent shock, making Wei Wuxian feel a little self-conscious. 

“Uhh, what are all of you staring at me for?”

“Wei Wuxian,” Jiang Cheng said with all the patience of an exasperated brother. “Is that the only thing you can ask?!” He glared, signaling for two Jiang disciples to restrain Jin Zixun from anymore stupid ideas he’d like to enact. “When did you cultivate to immortality?”

“I didn’t??? What do you mean??”

“Wei Ying.” Lan Zhan said, checking him over. “Are you alright?”

“Hmm? I’m a little dizzy considering all the blood I’ve lost, but it’s nothing big!” He grinned. It felt nice to have Lan Zhan care for him rather than fight with him.

“Wei Wuxian, stop flirting with Hanguang-Jun and answer the damn question.”

Wei Wuxian turned his attention back to his brother and pouted at him, missing Lan Wangji’s red ears. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“A’ Xian.” Shijie said and Wei Wuxian abruptly realized her robes had his blood on them. 

“Shijie, I’m sorry I got your robes dirty!”

“It’s fine.” She patted him. “But A’ Xian, I know you didn’t pay attention to those lectures, but only immortals can heal from wounds like that that quickly.”

“Really?”

“Mn.” Lan Zhan confirmed.

“Huh. So I’m immortal?”

“Yes.” Jiang Cheng deadpanned. “And you didn’t even notice it. In true Wei Wuxian fashion.”

Lan Zhan frowned then. He had still been checking Wei Wuxian’s pulse. “Wei Ying, what happened to your core?”

“Hmm? .........Oh shit.”

“Why is it covered in resentment?”

“Oh. Umm.” Wei Wuxian really was at a loss for words now. “We can discuss that later?”

“Wei Ying.”

“Aiya, how do you make my name sound like reprimand?”

“Don’t try to deflect the conversation.” Jiang Cheng said, now paying attention.

Wei Wuxian groaned. “Okay. Well, everyone would have found out sooner or later but umm. I might have cultivated to immortality accidentally via demonic cultivation? Haha, ha......”

No one laughed with him. They all looked pretty shaken and Wei Wuxian wanted to laugh at their reaction. He felt pretty detached from it all, to be honest.

“Can we all just forget about this and continue celebrating Jin Ling’s one month celebration?”

And everyone collectively said, “No.”

“Aww.”

___________________

To this day, I’m still unsure of whether it’s Carp Tower or Koi Tower.

[sneezemonster15]

I am new to Naruto fandom. Even newer to SNS fandom. I observed the shipping wars, and frankly, participated in it a couple of times. Just to see what it's all about. And I have come to one conclusion.

It's bonkers how far one will go to convince oneself about one's shipping whether it makes sense or not. At the end of the day, it becomes not really about the content itself, but one's comprehension and understanding of content. Which helps me understand why SS, NH, or NS stans exist. Their projection (which it certainly is) almost seems delusional and definitely inconsistent with the content itself.

When I first started watching Naruto, I wasn't aware of Naruto fandom. I am a cinephile and I am used to analysing content involuntarily while I am watching it. I wasn't expecting much from Naruto, I definitely underestimated it and wasn't expecting any emotional impact given it was shonen and I am very hard to please (yes, I am a film elitist). But as I kept watching it, I had to grudgingly change my opinion. By the time I reached Shippuden, I could tell that I was almost fevered with excitement and looking forward to more emotional impact.

I didn't watch it with any romantic lens, I was mostly interested in the fighting sequences initially. Hell, that's all I was expecting from a shonen show about ninjas. But at the end of vote 1, I was like, hmmm. What?? This was so emotionally wracking. Are they really just rivals, or friends? Now, I am a fully fledged cinephile and have watched a lot (a. Lot.) of LGBTQ films, given my interest in shows about emotional and sexual repression. And throughout my first watch of the first part, I kept picking up on the subtle sns moments without actively thinking about them. I was really into the story and wanted to see what will happen next. But at the end of vote 1, I had to stop and think, wait what, are they in love with each other? They are definitely not just friends. Or rivals. The language of their interaction in vote 1 is so fraught with underlying currents of repressed emotions that it just made the cinephile in me ask, what am I watching exactly? Like isn't it shonen (I am also relatively new to anime/manga) where gay relationships are a strict nono? Like why does it have all the tropes of repressed homosexuality in men, just like all the films I had seen. The way Naruto and Sasuke constantly gravitate to each other, their interactions at times feel like a borderline attempt at just staying close to each other, their violent, strong feelings and devotion for each other (land of waves arc) and then denial of those feelings (after the land of waves arc), their contant physical fights for no apparent reason, Sasuke goading Naruto for no apparent reason especially when Sasuke is not the type to talk without reason which had been made abundantly clear. Sometimes, it literally felt like he was flirting with Naruto (during the chuunin exams) while rejecting Sakura. Sasuke constantly appears to be caring and attentive towards Naruto while treating Sakura like trash. This was even acknowledged by Naruto who asks Sasuke to be nicer to Sakura. But Sasuke doesn't even think about it. He instead flirts (?) with Naruto. It made me think, why did the writer choose to do that? Why make it clear that in hierarchy, Sasuke keeps Naruto much higher than Sakura, so early in the show (when there hasn't been so much development either, we were mostly shown how they keep fighting and arguing with each other)? If they are supposed to just be comrades or friends, why pinpoint this? Why use this trope at all if it's about friendship, especially in a show that can't include a gay relationship.

And this kept happening consistently. The writer made the interaction between Sasuke and Naruto to be major turning points in the plot. Vote 1 fight made it clear to me that there was something more going on, but I didn't want to be presumptuous, so I kept it on the side and kept watching.

After watching Shippuden, I was convinced that none of it, was accidental. The writer painstakingly wrote a gay love story and was even obvious about it in a very clever way. Like he fucking got away with writing a gay love story in shonen. I know Naruto is basically a kids' show meant for entertainment purposes, but it touched so many important, dark and adult themes. I knew that it would be difficult for the writer to actually give a proper conclusion to these themes because they really aren't that black and white or even appropriate for children. So I wasn't surprised that he couldn't actually show peace being achieved after the war arc or slavery abolished in Hyuuga clan.

But one thing I was sure of. He wanted to show a gay love story, maybe out of a twisted sense of humor, I don't know. But that's what he did. He could not have made it clearer. He flagrantly used all the related tropes, visuals, sound, dialogues, hell the story. The fucking story...

He was so shrewd about it too. He made it so that people can take away whatever they wanted to take away from it as long as there was some plausible deniability about things that weren't made clear in the show itself. That fucking minx! But he knew that anyone who watches shit carefully, will be able to see what he actually did. He knew that at least some of us will be able to connect the dots. He went out of his way to make sure we connect the dots. There is no other way to explain why Sasuke repeatedly kept asking Naruto why he cared for him so much. There's no other way to explain why he concluded everything with the dialogue where Naruto explains that he hurts when Sasuke does. There's no other way to explain why that affected Sasuke to such an extent. Kishimoto went out of his way, like seriously, to tell the audience that they are Not just 'friends'. He basically used this friend thing with so much saturation and intent in such a twisted way that he made it into something else entirely. In that sense, the concept of 'friend' changed its meaning. Like you can try, but you can't change my mind about it.

Whether I approve it or not, but my takeaway from content depends mostly on the content itself. I do believe that more often than not, the simplest explanation is the right one. And this applies to the phenomenon of Naruto as well. Of course, as a viewer, I can't ignore that my suspension of belief relies on my own understanding of the external world and how I perceive visual language. But that is something that happens anyway, in tandem with consuming the content, while I was pretty much consistently objective about it.

I believe I have a pretty good understanding of how cinematic language works, and I know every creative or narrative choice has a reason and meaning behind it. Absolutely None of it is random. Cinematic language may not be universal in terms of styles, but all the styles definitely have a common ground. And any creator worth his salt knows it, he knows how his content will be perceived and what it is exactly that he wants to show or say. Do not delude yourself that it was accidental or on a whim.

I know for a fact that Kishomoto wanted to show a gay love story. I know for a fact that he wanted to show that Sasuke has feelings for Naruto and he knows it. He also wanted to show that Sasuke not only had feelings for Naruto but also knew that he couldn't show them openly. He wanted to show that Naruto has feelings for Sasuke as well but is confused and naive, like he is about so many other things. He wanted to show us that Sasuke is not into Sakura, that he doesn't even respect her. Any enthusiast of visual/cinematic language and narrative can tell all the above things without going into headcanon or deluded explanations (like SS, NH stans), with just on the basis of content they consumed.

At the end of the day, I don't ship SNS because it's in my head. I was forced to see and believe SNS by the creator. Not forced literally but forced to notice and acknowledge the emphasis and meaning of the twisted/manipulative ways of the creator.

Kishimoto, hats off to you, you sly bastard. You succeeded in trolling people endlessly, you had a lot of fun pitting people against each other, didn't you? Hahahahaha. Well, I call your bluff/or non bluff in this case since you obviously knew what you were doing.

[anne-i-write]

sweet love

| who would have known that the local bakery could get sebastian to show his soft spot |

sebastian moran x reader

word count: 3609

tw: sexual implications but no actual spice (mostly from sebastian’s “flirting”)

a/n: a little new years gift from me to all of you! i’m sorry it took so long to get another post up but i enjoyed writing this one! hopefully sebastian isn’t too ooc in this idk ig i just have a thing for making characters ooc but it’s very sweet and possibly tooth rotting. i also realize that i got carried away making this one and now you can read through my brain rot lol. ALSO APPARENTLY HES 6’6 THE MAN COULD ABSOLUTELY PUNT ME WHAT anyhow, i hope you all enjoy!! p.s. if you see grammatical errors and incoherent sentences, i just copy pasted from google docs lmao good luck

Sebastian grumbled under his breath, annoyed with the work that William had him do.

“‘Those who do not work in this house aren’t treated as people.’” Sebastian scoffed as he glanced over at the list. “Louis should be glad I’m on good terms with William.”

The ex-colonel should’ve been back at the estate an hour ago but he felt somewhat spiteful and decided to stay out longer. He had finished everything he needed but he had no clue what to do. It was already lunch and his stomach was silently growling but he refused to face the brothers just yet.

That was until he stopped in front of a quaint bakery with the words Fox’s Biscuits painted on a hanging sign.

“Isn’t this…” He looked at the bakery window, mouthwatering biscuits on display for everyone to see.

“These are the biscuits Father bought for me when I was younger.”

Longing for a sense of his childhood, Sebastian walked into the small shop.

In an instant, the sickly sweet smell of chocolate hit his nose and the bell above the door rang out. It was a small space but one could feel the dedication put into the little treats. “Hello?” Sebastian called out as soon as he realized he had been alone for at least two minutes.

“Just a moment!”

Crashes and clangs could be heard from behind a door that presumably led to a kitchen. You burst through the door, your apron stained with chocolate and your right cheek was covered in a light dust of flour.

Sebastian stared at you with wide eyes, not sure if he should focus on the disorderly ruin that was yourself or the absolute charm that you carried. “You have a little something—” He pointed to his cheek and your cute eyes widened a smidge.

You frantically turned around, swiping at both cheeks and turning around when you felt like you were clean. “How may I help you today?”

Sebastian’s heart skipped a beat when you smiled widely, his cheeks feeling a little flush. He shook his head.

“Those biscuits by the door; how much are they?” You took a step to the side to see which one he was talking about. “Oh, it’s 10 shillings for each one.” You informed him, walking to the stacked treats with a cloth in hand. “How many would you like?”

A sly grin painted Sebastian’s features and he turned to face you. “3 pieces please.” You barely picked up the second biscuit before you felt a presence looming behind you. “Perhaps, I can have you too if I pay extra.” He whispered in your ear.

Heat spread across your face as you quickly shoved the rest of the biscuits in the small bag. You shoved the biscuits his way and held out your other hand expectantly. “Th-That’s 30 shillings!” You cursed the way you stuttered.

Sebastian laughed at your flustered state as he handed you the payment. He shot you a teasing glance.

“I can’t bake very well but I can show you how good I am with my hands.” Your eyes widened again at the implication and you shoved him towards the exit.

“Thank you for coming to our bakery!” You breathed out a sigh of relief. One patron down… only many more to come.

The ex-colonel swung the bag leisurely as he strode into the manor, forgetting about lunch. “Where were you, Sebastian?” Louis asked as soon as he opened the door.

“Getting myself food.”

The bell rang in your little family shop and you smiled, heading out to greet the next customer with freshly baked biscuits in hand.

“Good afternoon–” Your smile dropped when you realized who came into the bakery.

“What’s with the frown, sweetheart?” Sebastian cooed and you narrowed your eyes at him. “Did you not wish I would come back?”

“I wish you never came at all.” The man stilled for a moment but laughed when you walked past him to restock the display case. “You were here yesterday, were you not?” He turned to see you carefully placing the treats on the platter. “Yes but I’m here to buy more of those delicious biscuits you sell.”

Sebastian stalked closer to you just as you spun around to point the tray in his face. “Personal space, please.” He raised his hands in resignation and backed up. You walked back to the counter to place the warm tray on top. “You weren’t complaining yesterday.”

“I didn’t expect yesterday. Now, how many biscuits would you like?” Before he opened his mouth, you continued. “And buy enough so I don’t have to see you again.”

Sebastian laughed again, enjoying your quips. “You seem very spirited today, m’love.” You rolled your eyes. “Either you buy something or you can get out of the shop.” The man walked towards you but you stood your ground this time, arms crossed.

“Your biscuits are delicious but I bet you taste even better.” Your face heated up and Sebastian grinned. “Th-The way out is right behind you.”

Why do I always stutter?

“You’re adorable when you get shy on me.” You shot him a pointed glare and he chuckled. “I’ll have the whole display.” Sebastian thoroughly enjoyed the way your shy attitude appeared when he spoke.

“Th-The whole—” Sebastian chuckled and leaned on a nearby wall. “Yes, sweetheart; the whole case.” Of course, you needed the money but could the man even afford it?

“Th-That’s 100 shillings.” Sebastian took another glance at the display and shook his head. “Come now sweetheart, all of that is at least 600 shillings.” You shook your head.

“600 shillings is too much!” The thought of even getting mad at his previous words flew out of your head as he insisted on paying the full price. “Please, I’ll lower the price.”

Sebastian smiled as he reached into his coat and pulled out a satchel of coins. “It must have taken a painstakingly long time to make all those biscuits, it’s only right I pay you in full.” He placed the bag on the counter and you slid it back towards him. “I don’t have time to count 100 shillings! Please, that would be more than enough.”

This continued on for another ten minutes before he finally got you to settle on paying half of the original price.

“Enjoy your biscuits!” You called out to him just as the door barely closed behind him. Thankfully the door had a large glass pane and he turned around, offering a small wave before walking off.

You watched as he left the front of the shop and your eyes drifted to the empty display case.

“What in God’s name happened.”

Sebastian was aware that the last time he saw you was the other day, but he did comprehend that coming back the day after buying 60 biscuits would look rather odd. Telling Louis he had to run an errand in the town, the ex-colonel set off to your little bakery. Considering how empty it was the last two times he saw you, Sebastian expected it to be the same.

What he didn’t expect was a large crowd that seemed too big to be inside of the bakery.

Sebastian carefully opened the door and was greeted with the bustling sound of people chatting as they waited for their treats. Being the tall man he was, he searched for you in the crowd until he saw you rush out of the kitchen with your hair a complete mess.

“Thank you for being so patient, have a great day!” You said breathlessly and the patron nodded, wishing you well before leaving. They passed by Sebastian and he watched as they left the shop. He turned his attention back to you, who wore the same smile that made his heart stutter as you helped the next customer.

God only knows how long Sebastian was in the shop but the last customer left and you slumped against the counter. “Is that how you hold yourself in front of your patrons?” You groaned and he laughed.

“You bought 60 biscuits the other day and I still have to make the next batch, why are you back?” You glanced up at him and he shrugged. “Can I not wait for the biscuits?” You kept staring at him and he shot you a questioning glance.

“I can give you an estimated time for when the biscuits are done.” You yawned as you stood up and stretched. “I saw you come in a while ago, do you not have anywhere to be?”

Sebastian leaned against the counter and sighed. “Not today.”

Not having the energy to make him leave, you simply walked back into the kitchen and he watched as the door swung behind you.

It had been three minutes since you disappeared behind the doors and Sebastian was about to leave before you emerged from the kitchen. “If you’re staying until I make the next batch, then I want you to try this.” You said as you place down a small plate with two chocolate covered biscuits. “My father doesn’t know about these so I want to see if these taste good.” He took a glance at the plate and looked up at you.

“You couldn’t try them yourselves?” He asked as you stood across from him, arms folded. “I’d be favored to like them because I made them.” A beat of silence passed as you stared at each other.

“They’re not poisoned, if that’s what you’re worried about.” An impressed look crossed Sebastian’s face as he picked up the biscuit and ate it. You watched closely as the man in front of you chewed your creation. “Is that jam and cream?”

“Don’t talk with your mouth full, it’s indecent.” Sebastian snorted as he took another bite. “You sound like my mum.” You smiled softly as he started to reach for the second one.

“Keep staring like that, I might have to eat something else.” He said as he winked at you.

“Y-You—!”

Sebastian’s visits became routine and each time he came in, your day got a little better. You scoffed. Like you would ever tell him that.

“Darling!” Sebastian called out as he opened the door. “You know, I don’t even know your name and you’ve been coming here for two weeks.” You stated as you cleaned down the counter.

“Aw, you want to put a name to a face so you can moan it tonight?” He cooed and you slammed your towel down, flustered. “O-One day without suggesting those things! I-Is that too much to ask?” Sebastian laughed and you went back to furiously wiping down the counter.

He smiled as he walked towards you and placed his hand on yours. “If you keep scrubbing like that, the wood will wear down.” You sighed and relaxed your grip on the washing cloth. “Your hands are warm.” You said and he chuckled.

“The cloth’s gone cold.” He pointed out and you rolled your eyes. “I didn’t realize.” Sebastian snorted and took the cloth out of your hands. “Here.” He took both of your hands and held them in his, breathing out slowly on them. He looked at you, taking note of the dark circles under your eyes.

If you were working yourself that much, he would make you take this short break to relax.

You looked up at your hands and suddenly felt shy at the intimate contact. “(Y/N),” you muttered, looking away.

Sebastian glanced up at you and huffed softly. “Sebastian.” You continued to let him warm up your hands.

A serene silence fell over the two of you as he exhaled softly on your hands.

That was until your sister barged into the shop, back from the market. “(Y/N)!” All three of you paused as you stared at each other. You watched as your sister’s eyes traveled from yours to your intertwined hands and you instantly flared up.

“I was just handing him biscuits!” You yelped, yanking your hands out of Sebastian’s. You looked at him and nodded your head towards the exit. “Thank you so much for coming!” Sebastian grinned and he leaned in closer to you. “I’ll come back for you tomorrow, sweetheart.”

He knew he said this loud enough for you sister to hear. “Good day!” He smiled innocently, nodding to the girl by the door and walked out.

You watched as he left, not noticing your sister walking up and taking her place next to you. She watched with you as Sebastian walked away and took note of the subtle starry gaze in your eyes.

“Now I understand why you always want to watch the shop.”

You fidgeted as Sebastian walked into the shop once again. What was this? His 40th time at the shop? You shook your head. It didn’t matter.

I will ask him!

“What’s troubling you, sweetheart?” Even through the teasing tone, you could hear some worry and you just decided to spit it out.

“Would you like to accompany me to the moorish dance tonight?” Sebastian’s eyes widened as you stared up at him with unintentionally large eyes. The man knew he had a persona to hold in front of you but felt himself failing as he struggled to fight the blush rising on his cheeks.

“Only if you’ll accompany me to my bed tonight.” He watched as your eyes narrowed and you puffed out your chest, crossing your arms. “Forget I asked.” He laughed as you turned away from him. “I’m just playing around!” You stuck your tongue out childishly and turned away again.

“You’re pouting!”

“No I’m not!”

You two continued to bicker until he apologized, albeit through laughs. “I’m serious though, Sebastian.” He looked at you with a fond smile and he exhaled.

“I’d be honored.” You turned to face him with the same smile you used when you first greeted him, except this time it was wider and you looked like you were about to bounce over the counter. “But I really thought I would be the first to ask you.”

“Let customs lay themselves to rest for a bit, Sebastian.”

The dance was some time later at night so you decided to close shop early and walk around the town with Sebastian.

He had never seen you so talkative before and it was very interesting to see you speak without having to put him in his place every five minutes.

“So, do you and your sister run the bakery by yourselves?” Sebastian asked as you walked down the bustling road. “Lately. My father had been overworking himself so my sister and I decided to take over for him.” You smiled as a girl ran past your legs, her little brother following shortly after.

He watched on with a fond look as you continued talking about the bakery and all the baking mishaps that made you the person you were today. “That sounds like it requires a lot of effort.” You chuckled as you reached a secluded tree, not too far from the town but enough to be alone.

“It does, but the son of my father’s friend likes to help from time to time.” The sound of a possible competitor peaked his interest and sat down beside you on the grass. “The son of your father’s friend?” You nodded as you stared at the town and leaned on the tree.

“He’s a wonderful boy, very enthusiastic about helping me and my sister.” You turned to face him with an excited expression. “Oh, I’ll introduce you at the dance later! He’s helping the men set up but we should be able to see him!” The alpha male in Sebastian refused to let himself lose the one good thing he could possibly have in his life.

“You hid the whole jar?”

“Mrs. Pettor makes the best jams! I wasn’t going to let my family finish it!” Sebastian laughed as you defended yourself.

It was almost time for the dance and you both were walking to the town center.

“I’ve been talking all this time.” You realized and you turned to Sebastian. “Tell me more about—” You cut yourself off with a squeak as you were lifted off of your feet.

Sebastian watched as a blonde boy swung you around. “A-Alexander!” The boy put you down, a grin on his face.

The blond boy looked at you and you smiled back before Sebastian cleared his throat. “Oh, right!” You turned to face Sebastian and grinned. “Alexander, this is Sebastian! Sebastian, Alexander!” The shorter man held out his hand, blue eyes instantly hardening.

“Hello Sebastian,” Alexander said as Sebastian shook his hand. “Alexander.” You looked between the two and felt a tense aura emanating from them before you clapped your hands.

“Shall we go to the dance?” Alexander let go of Sebastian’s hand and immediately faced you. “Of course!” The blond grabbed your hand and you were barely able to get ahold of Sebastian’s before Alexander took off running.

Cheers and music filled the air and the sound of shoes hitting stone echoed throughout the streets. Despite knowing most of the faces, you spent most of your time talking with Sebastian about stories from each of your lives.

“(Y/N)!” You turned your head and saw Alexander heading towards you, out of breath and sweaty from dancing. You excused yourself from the conversation and Alexander stopped in front of you. “I never did thank you for working more than you should have these last few days.” You laughed as you waved him off. “It’s nothing you should thank me for, Alexander. My sister helped so it wasn’t all bad.”

Alexander took a glance at Sebastian, who had been mobbed by most of the town women and looked like he was trying to hold his own. “Would you like to dance?” His question caught you off guard. “I invited Sebastian, I couldn’t leave him…” You turned to see a group of girls crowding around the man and your smile faltered. “One dance wouldn’t hurt.”

“Sebastian!” He looked up from the group of girls and saw you waving. He was about to move until he saw your hand in Alexander’s. “I’m going to dance for a bit!” You laughed as Alexander pulled you to the dance area. Alexander chuckled at you as you told Sebastian of your whereabouts. At least you had the decency to tell him you were dancing with another man.

“So how’d you meet Sebastian?” Alexander asked as you danced to the music. “He came into the shop one day and just kept visiting!” You smiled and the boy in front of you exhaled softly, deciding to drop the topic and talk to your sister about it later.

The former colonel no longer focused on the girls in front of him as he watched you laugh hard at something Alexander said and his heart beat faster in his chest. Out of jealousy or awe, he couldn’t tell. But the way your eyes shone under the golden glow of the street lamps told him to move and get you.

He pushed his way through the crowd of ladies and kept his eyes trained on your carefree figure. Your skin looked so beautiful under this light, maybe you were the one who lit up the town. Your smile alone had enough energy to do so anyway.

“May I have a dance with (Y/N)?” Sebastian asked as he reached you and Alexander. The blond man smiled and your eyes sparkled in delight. “Of course.” Alexander gently let go of your hand and placed it in Sebastian’s.

“Thank you Alexander!” You called out and he turned around, sending you a soft smile and a small wave before walking towards your sister.

You turned your gaze back to Sebastian and you grinned. “Did you get jealous?” Sebastian scoffed before shaking his head. “I don’t get jealous.” You laughed as you felt Sebastian pull you closer. “I saw you looking at Alexander like he was going to steal me away.” You pointed out with a smug smile.

“He did steal you away.” You grinned at him.

“You’re pouting.”

“N-No I’m not!” You laughed and watched as the tips of his ears turned pink. “Aw, you’re adorable when you get shy on me!” You cooed, using the exact same words he said to you a while back.

“You—” He picked you up by the waist and you squealed as he lifted you up. “You think you’re so smart.” He muttered as he placed you back down and you looked up at him, your skin shining from sweat and short breaths leaving your lips.

He instantly leaned in, placing a short kiss on your lips and your eyes widened before trying to chase him before he pulled away. “You do taste better than your biscuits.” You buried your head in Sebastian’s chest in embarrassment and he laughed as he started to lead the dance once more.

“Because of that, I’m charging you the rest of the 60 biscuits you bought.” Sebastian feigned hurt. “But that’s too much!” You rolled your eyes and smiled up at him. “I’m sure if you don’t want to pay, Louis can help me find something for you to do to pay me back.”

Sebastian’s eyes narrowed and you giggled at the sour look on his face. “I’m sure you can help around the shop to pay them off, if you don’t want Louis to get involved.” His eyes softened before gently grabbing your hand and placing a chaste kiss to it.

“If it means I get to see you everyday, it will have been worth it.”

tags: @zoehanji @infinitebells

[a-little-revolution]

Hello!! Its me!! I live with Elliot! Over thanksgiving my family and i were watching deadpool 2 and theres this fight with juggernaut who, for those unfamiliar, is just a huge huge strong man, and during the fight as he smashes them around, he calls the average heighted characters the m word. So my question was, what does that make that???? Bc on one hand it seems like they just took the opportunity to drop the m bomb, but on the other, the joke is predicated on the fact that the juggernaut is a manifestation of extreme, unstoppable physical violence which is enacted on people who are smaller than him, but who are average heighted, which also plays into the like, irony?? of the joke. So im like, was this the needless inclusion of a hurtful word, or a sharp comment on the violence lp face by putting average heighted people in their shoes? Is it actually that smart, or am i hoping for too much?

Hey there lovely! Solid question - though I'm sure they were trying to be clever in their use of the m slur coming from a super-large being, I doubt it was much deeper than that. People still aren't afraid to drop the m bomb, and many are still unaware of it's history and that it's a slur at all. I do think though, that they were better able to get away with it when dressing it up with scale - I wonder how audiences would react if the slur was pointed towards the film's dwarf character (that's right - watch the prison break scene and there's a dwarf background character on screen for like three seconds).

*

While Deadpool 2 uses it's comedy to satire the racism and sexism in our society, I feel it falls flat when it comes to ableism - despite having the opportunity there in its lap. Its characters have prosthetic limbs, blindness, invisible "mutations", a disabling illness. There's a facility for mutant children that is essentially conversion therapy or a home for disabled children, both of which were prevalent around the time of the Vietnam war when this film takes place. Deadpool's super-healing capabilities come with chronic pain and ware to his mental health, and nearly every character around him has undergone some sort of trauma. This could have been a film that tackled ableism, but it didn't.

Wade's humor towards his circumstances often leans on self deprecation, and we've yet to see character development to that regard. We see him thrown from a wheelchair because 'he can walk', made fun of by his friends, and repulsed by his physical form. He's meant to be a parody of "crazy" villains such as the Joker, but I don't feel his comedy has yet taken the steps to truly break down the ableist themes. And what's frustrating is that Deadpool has made his fame on being painstakingly self aware - he breaks the fourth wall, points fun at the plot, and makes commentary of its audience. And yet with disability sewn into its very fabric, the film seems to make a mockery of it rather than doing any sort of reclamation and revolution.

[my-writings-and-musings]

Answering these two asks in a post so all the content can stay in one place!

The original post in question can be found here!

Drift

·He's delighted to have a whole group of young humans on board to foster diplomacy, and he fully intends to do whatever is necessary to make them feel safe and welcome. Though his introduction is polite, the small crowd immediately takes note of his ever present swords, and to his delight their reaction is purely one of innocent awe at his impressive weaponry. Always happy to encourage responsible sword use, he explains the significance of each blade and is incredibly careful when showing the very tiny and very delicate humans what they look like up close. Their delight is so simple and pure some part of him is reminded of his long gone naivety, and his promise to protect them becomes a vow he never intends to break while his own spark still flickers.

·When he casually mentions time on earth one day the group is surprised and effusive in a sudden burst of questions. When he's actually able to recall a surprising amount of pop culture facts their little minds are nearly blown, and from then on they seem to seek him out just to socialize, something that quite surprises him for a multitude of reasons. Even after all his time with the Autobots, many still don't fully accept him as one of their own, so to be seen as a companion by beings so young and innocent... If absolutely touches him, while also making him determined to ensure they never discover that aspect of his life. He tells himself it's for their safety, and that the young shouldn't be troubled with burdens not their own, but he knows that losing the simple delight of their company and respect would hurt him deeply.

·Due to his need for frequent training to keep his skills sharp, it's no surprise that his little fans one day stumble upon him dicing up training dummies in one of the many gymnasium inspired practice areas. Upon seeing them in action he's soon surrounded by a group of very eager wannabe sword fighters, and while he's still recovering from the idea that he's wanted as a teacher a casual mention of Spectralism prompts a new wave of curiosity and interest that he can barely handle. It takes all of his willpower just to keep from letting on how impossibly touched he is by each and every one of them. They're just... interested in who he is? They look up to him just because they think he's cool and want to learn more about his faith, his skills, and his passions...

·The simple goodness of the relationship is all brought to what he thinks to be the end when his past is exposed by accident. He's not even with them when they find out, but he's devastated, and can't bring himself to face them now that they know who he used to be. It's only through sheer determination on behalf of the whole group, and what he thinks is bad luck for him, that the young liaisons manage to find and speak to him once more. For an instant he breaks and can only apologize effusively, begging their forgiveness for... well, everything from the secret to letting them down to allowing them to believe he was what they thought he was. It takes all of them working in tandem to speak over him and make one thing clear; no one is angry.

·His little group of fans makes it abundantly clear they don't see him as "Deadlock" or a Decepticon or anything but the bot they've come to respect. He's not his past in their eyes, and his present has been nothing but kind and welcoming to each and every one of them. Their little hands take hold of his in a gesture of affirmation, and in the strength of their compassion he can't help but feel dwarfed by each of them. Somehow, the experience brings them even closer, and they can frequently be heard referring to their "older brother" when heading off for the training sessions he painstakingly caters to their size. When some of them begin to show him Spectralist greetings and goodbyes he has to take the time to shed a few tears in private, but they definitely notice how affected he is regardless, and each of them make a point to show him how important he is to them every day.

Rodimus

·It was his own genius diplomatic skills that got these little humans secured on the ship in the first place, so he's quite eager to welcome them on board when the day finally comes. The fact that he stresses about impressing them for hours beforehand is something he keeps entirely to himself though... Yet it turns out he has nothing to fear, because each human is rendered speechless merely by the size of the Lost Light when they first see it, and he can't help but be made giddy as a result. He doesn't need to fake any of the enthusiasm he shows as he takes them on a tour, speeding through the hallways and alternating between giving them lifts in vehicle mode and bot mode, the latter of which has him carrying the group on his shoulders and in his arms.

·It's impossible not to be shocked as he sees the humans all... like and respect him immediately? Everything from his altmode to his jokes, they just... their little faces light up and they compliment him and they all want to hang out with him again as soon as possible?! What is this?! Despite having no idea he happily throws himself into this new and strange relationship with these tiny humans. So many of the interests and hobbies he's been told are "unfit" for a bot in his position are met with fascination, support, and requests for him to teach them all he can. It quickly goes from pleasantly surprising to absolutely touching. The whiplash of suddenly having so much positive attention spurs a change in him, namely one of uncharacteristic levels of protective instinct towards these precious visitors.

·Though he's entirely casual to their faces, behind the scenes he's checking on absolutely everything to ensure they're all taken care of. Are their rooms comfortable? Is the food to their liking? Does the crew make them feel welcome? Can he do anything to make their stay better? The various bots he checks in with to ensure everything is running smoothly quickly grow irritated with his constant pestering, though this new side of him is refreshing to most, particularly because he hasn't ever been this responsible about anything in the past. He even checks in with Magnus on the regular! And submits reports in a timely fashion! All to make sure he's doing everything in his power to keep these young liaisons as happy as he can.

·To the humans themselves though, he's the ultimate fun uncle, introducing them to the entire crew and showing them all the fun things there are to do around the ship. If he hears even a rumor that one of them is missing something about their home or wants to try something they don't have the ability to make happen, you better believe he is going to do everything in his power as captain to get things going. But of course he keeps all this work to himself, he wants to be the most effortlessly cool bot they know, and also doesn't want to concern them with all of the details. Unfortunately a slip up for one particularly epic movie night at Swerve's reveals the many sleepless hours he spent arranging it all, and in his rushed reasurances it comes out that he's been working himself ragged taking care of their every need.

·The entire group is shocked by his dedication, but also his incredible talent. He's funny, charismatic, friendly, and he's also been doing so much for them? The entire group brings him into an impromptu hug of appreciation, and he very nearly tears up in front of them. Somehow, these young aliens have become everything he didn't know he needed. They're his friends, but they look up to him, and his new honorifics of "Fun uncle" and "big brother" are there to prove it. But from then on they refuse to let him do all the work of arranging things himself. If someone has an idea to improve the ship, it gets done as a group, with one very happy bot surrounded by his ever present posse of humans ready to help the coolest captain in the galaxy. They're even kind enough to pretend they don't see the happy tears misting his optics from time to time.

Rung

·Not having ever been to earth, along with never seeing humans outside of their media, means he really didn't know what to expect of the incoming humans. Hearing that they were all exceptionally young just made him concerned, especially after a quick bit of research made it apparent that humans are quite emotionally turbulent in this protoformesque stage. He's not concerned for his sake though, even the tallest human is tiny at his side, he's worried they made need a little extra assistance adjusting to life after such a big change. Thus, he makes quite sure to be present when they're brought on board to introduce himself and extend his services. A small part of him can't help but be delighted upon meeting them; so small, yet so exuberant! They're all polite despite their wide eyed wonder at... everything, but his description of his proffesion really catches their attention for a group exclamation; Cybertronians have psychologists?!

·Having prepared to offer help, he's blindsided by their interest in simply... learning about his career? They want to know about the places he's been and the ships he's served on, particularly when they learn he has models of each, and they're so small he's not at all worried when he brings a couple collectibles down for them to see up close. Watching these little beings clamor to see something most of his own kind finds boring makes the protective feelings in his spark strengthen into a promise to keep each and every one of them safe. He takes note of each individual human's traits and personalities while memorizing their names, being quite aware of how much it means to simply have one's designation remembered, and also commits to guiding them all through their unique interests and goals.

·Spending time with the liaisons in their group as well as one on one, it doesn't occur to him that they don't follow the same pattern as every Cybertronian he's ever met until one of them brings it up; why do the other bots always get his name wrong? It's only in that moment he realizes none of them have ever forgotten, mispronounced, or even hesitated to say his name. The surprise is enough that he can't even reply to them initially. When he does manage to find words they're quite insufficient, and he tries to explain that even he doesn't know, but he's always just assumed his small stature and quiet demeanor simply meant he tended to fade from memory rather quickly. Nothing else beyond his "historical constant" theory really explains it, as far as he knows.

·Ever able to defy expectations, the little liaisons react to his indirect self depreciation with emphatic reasurances that he's not at all forgetable, and are so intent on making sure he knows that they speak over one another in an emotional gaggle of supportive youngsters. It's all more than the quiet psychiatrist could have ever expected. Of course he never enjoyed being forgotten, but he's become so accustomed to dismissing those feelings he has no way to process this sudden outpouring of support. The humans are all around him in a kind of embrace, which is made difficult mostly due to the number of them and the size difference, but the affection in the gesture is still quite clear. It's all he can do to hold them in return as they all promise to never forget him no matter what happens.

·He keeps his tears private, but that doesn't stop them from coming when he's behind closed doors, though he just lets the happiness brim over into the few that run down his cheeks after he removes his glasses. The irony of it all doesn't hit him until he and the group are present at a movie night, and as he listens to them all gush in turn to the cinema selection of the evening it occurs to him that his initial intent to help them has been flipped quite completely around. These little ones have helped him, helped him feel worth remembering, helped him feel like he belongs, helped him find a family... Watching them gather around him almost protectively from a forgetful world, he isn't quite sure if he's been adopted or if they have, but he can't bring himself to care about such details. Neither can any of the liaisons who vowed to each other their new friend would never feel lonely again.

[peaceoutofthepieces]

chapter 27

Fake Making-It

Social Media AU

previous chapter

~^~

Lucas hesitates for only a moment before knocking on the door. He’s not expecting a response and isn’t surprised when he doesn’t get one. The bowl of ice cream he’s holding is beginning to freeze his hand, and he doesn’t quite have the patience necessary for this. He tries to keep his tone gentle, however, as he knocks once more and says, “Sander?” When there’s still nothing, he doesn’t bother knocking again. “I’m coming in, okay? So if you don’t want me to, speak up now.”

More silence. Lucas opens the door.

The room is dark, the curtains pulled in an attempt to block out the wintery sun. Some light still creeps through, making wispy shadows on the thin blue material. A few rays have also snuck in through the sides and the bottom, and it’s one of these that illuminates the lump on the bed, wrapped tightly in the duvet.

Lucas closes the door quietly behind him and approaches, and he can see a few tufts of white hair poking out from under the sheets. His heart throbs.

“That bad?” he questions lowly. He’s not even sure that Sander is awake.

After a moment, he receives a quiet, “No.”

“Will you look at me, then?”

“I can’t listen to you shout at me. Not right now.”

“I’m not going to shout at you,” Lucas mumbles. “Do you think that little of me?”

“No,” Sander repeats. “But of me.”

Lucas huffs. He considers, and then cradles the bowl carefully in his hands and clambers onto the empty side of the bed. The side he slept on, when they first arrived. He settles against the pillows and nestles the bowl on his lap, taking up one of the two spoons. “Okay. I guess I’m eating all the ice cream myself, then.”

It’s a cheap bribe that has only worked on very rare occasions, but this time it’s different. The offer isn’t just the food, but an olive branch.

Sander takes it tentatively. He lowers the covers and peeks at the bowl in Lucas’s hands before looking up at him.

Gesturing to the spare spoon, Lucas raises a brow.

Sander slowly—painstakingly—pushes himself up until he’s sitting next to him. He busies himself for a second with propping up his own pillow, and then he brushes a hand roughly through his hair in an attempt to comb it down. Then he takes the spare spoon and a dollop of chocolate ice cream.

“Is this your breakfast?” Lucas asks.

“It’s still early.”

Lucas sighs. “Not that early. I could make croques.”

Sander hesitates. “This is enough for now,” he murmurs.

It isn’t, but Lucas accepts this with a nod. They eat in silence for a moment, with Sander taking much smaller, slower bites than him.

“It’s not an episode,” Sander mumbles.

Lucas nods. “Okay,” he says simply.

“So you don’t have to freak out, or anything.”

Lucas raises a brow at him, swallowing a mouthful of ice cream. “Wasn’t planning on it.”

“And you don’t have to be nice to me if you don’t want to be. I don’t deserve it, anyway. I have royally fucked everything up.”

The admission is quiet, and not wrong. Lucas has been saying the same thing from the beginning, but it wasn’t quite as satisfying as he’d hoped when Sander came to the realisation himself. There’s no satisfaction in watching him now.

But then again, Lucas hasn’t really been feeling much satisfaction over anything.

He picks off another scoop of ice cream with his spoon, but leaves it in the bottom of the bowl, staring down at it before retracting his hand entirely. He understands, now more than ever. He wants to hide away in the dark, too. Away from the mess they’ve created and the lies choking him and the feelings swimming around in his chest.

“It’s not completely your fault, you know,” Lucas huffs. “I should’ve shut you down at the beginning, but I did the exact same thing as you. Jens asked me and I panicked. So really, he shares some of the blame.”

Sander snorts. Lucas tries not to be pleased by it. “But not you?” Sander raises a brow.

“Nope. I am an innocent victim.”

He’s aware this is very far from the truth, but he isn’t just going to admit it.

Then Sander’s face falls and he looks away again, shrinking down slightly. Lucas pokes at the ice cream again, hesitating, and then sets the bowl aside. He shifts around, stretching his legs for a second before turning his head. Giving Sander his full attention. It takes a little while for Sander to accept it, but then he looks at Lucas with resolve.

“I’m sorry. Seriously. I know you don’t like lying. And the fact that you’re actually friends with Jens now makes it even worse. I didn’t even think about what this would do to you and I’m so fucking sorry.”

It’s not that he hasn’t said it before. He’s said it countless times, in fact. But never has he sounded quite so sincere. Never has his voice broken over the words. Never has he looked this pleading, this wrecked by the chance that Lucas won’t accept his apologies.

Lucas considers him silently, then asks, “What’s it doing to you? What’s all this about?” He gestures at the room around them, and then Sander, even though Sander likely doesn’t need the explanation.

Sander huffs. Self-deprecating and derisive. “I think it’s embarrassment more than anything.”

“Over?”

“Do you want a list?”

“If that’s what you have.”

Sander has directed his gaze to the ceiling. He shakes his head slightly as he swallows. “The fact that I made such a stupid mistake by thinking Robbe had feelings for Jens. The even stupider mistake I made pretending we’re in a relationship. My gigantic mess of feelings for Robbe in general. Dragging you into it and making you hate me.”

“I don’t hate you,” Lucas argues. It’s only half a lie.

Sander seems to recognise this, lolling his head over and giving him a look or pure disbelief.

“I don’t like you very much right now,” Lucas allows, and Sander looks away. “But it’s you. I love you. Even though you are the dumbest asshole I know.”

This startles a laugh out of Sander. His shoulders shake with it, and he drags a hand down his face, and after a moment Lucas isn’t sure if he’s laughing or crying or performing a mixture of both. Either way, it’s infectious. Lucas cracks up with him, lips splitting into a smile involuntarily and letting laughter seep out. It seems to relax Sander, too, and he glances over at Lucas once more and laughs harder.

“We are so fucked,” Lucas sighs.

“So badly,” Sander agrees, shaking his head as he slumps back against his pillow. “Even if we managed to make the breakup thing convincing, it’d just be a bigger lie. Fuck.” He scrubs his hands over his face. “I’ve just screwed up any chance of Robbe ever actually returning my feelings, haven’t I?”

Lucas quickly bites back what he wants to say, which is you’re not the only one. Instead he looks away, down at his hands, and fiddles with his ring. Then he gives up and messes with his bracelet instead.

“Maybe we should just finish the job and go,” Sander says hollowly. “They’ll never have to know. They’ll never care. We can just get through this and then forget about it.”

“What?” Lucas whips his head around to look at him. “You can’t just forget about Robbe. I know you can’t.”

A part of Lucas jumps at the idea, urges him to agree, to say Sander has a point. They would never have to know. Lucas would never have to look them in the face and see the evidence of their betrayal. He would never have to withstand the disappointment. It’s a powerful desire, a flash of fire that putters out just as quickly and leaves behind a simmering pain.

He thinks of sticking around to finish the job, of sharing what he loves with Jens and talking with Jens almost everyday and having Jens look at him in the subtle way he does, intrigued and inspired and irritated all at once. He thinks about having that and then just...letting it go. Never knowing. Always pretending he never cared. Disappearing into thin air without being able to take even a trace of Jens with him.

And that small part of him, the analytical part of his brain, urges him to do it. Says it’s an easy way out and the best option he has.

His heart screams no.

He knows that Sander would never be able to just forget about Robbe. He knows. Now more than ever, he understands.

“We have to tell them,” Lucas whispers.

Sander looks at him, incredulous.

“It’s the only way,” Lucas insists. “When you think about it, chances are they won’t even care. They’ll think we’re dumb and weird as fuck, maybe, but they’ll accept that we panicked and then didn’t know how to explain. We don’t even have to tell them why.”

Sander shakes his head, licking his lips as his eyes flick down. “It’s not better. A half truth isn’t enough to make up for a lie like this. No, if we’re going to tell him, then I want to tell him the truth.”

“Okay. Then that’s what we’re doing,” Lucas decides. At Sander’s blatant terror, he adds, “You’ll never know if you don’t try.”

Sander sucks in a breath, then lets it out with a slow nod. “Okay.” He looks at Lucas again. “But I just...can you just give me a little time? Let me figure out how to tell him. Please.”

It’s the opposite of what Lucas wants, which is to go back in time to before any of this even happened. But he understands. He does. He understands, and he’s gotten more than he was expecting. Now that Sander has made such a promise, he won’t back out. They might as well drag it on a little longer. Another few days, or one more week, won’t be the end of the world.

Lucas could probably mostly avoid Jens for that time. He doesn’t have to do any more lying. Not really.

Then, well. Then he’ll see. If it can work out for Sander, maybe he’ll have a chance, too.

Lucas slides his arm around Sander’s shoulders and tugs him towards his chest, and Sander goes easily. He slumps into Lucas with what sounds like a sigh of relief, tucking his head into Lucas’s neck and sighing when Lucas presses a kiss to his hair.

“Okay. Deal.”

~^~

tag list: @allthewayornowayy @wedarkacademia @lockerfivethreefive @yellowballoon @gucciboner @nora-keinwitz @moonskam @painfully-oblivious @zoenneforever @akucecilia @hischbabe @evaksobbe @alittleemo @boring-side-effect @franboos

next chapter

[robininthelabyrinth]

Silver Mist - part 2/3 - ao3  or tumblr pt 1

warning: adult content, read the ao3 tags

From then on, Nie Huaisang made a habit of going to his brother’s room every evening to unbraid his hair, which his brother permitted with more outward grumbling than actual resistance. It helped that Nie Mingjue had very obviously missed Nie Huaisang just as much – well, maybe not as much – as Nie Huaisang had missed him in return; he was happy, now that the war was over, to find reasons to spend more time together.

“Would da-ge like me to come by in the morning, too?” Nie Huaisang asked one evening. “I could do your hair then, too – better and prettier than you ever do!”

“Do you think you even can wake up that early?” Nie Mingjue asked, grunting as Nie Huaisang worked his hand up and down his cock. His da-ge’s hands were bound behind his back to keep him from interfering – Nie Huaisang had introduced that just a few days back, another small modification, and his brother had acceded to it beautifully, all those Nie sect lessons about self-control and fearsome tempers working wonders to dupe his mind into seeing it as a reasonable precaution rather than purely an instrument for Nie Huaisang’s pleasure. “I get up every morning to train, don’t forget.”

“I haven’t forgotten,” Nie Huaisang said, mentally resigning himself to a few irritating days or even weeks of getting up early to cross the hallway to his brother’s room. In time, of course, he would suggest that it would be easier for him to simply stay overnight, and the morning braids could be turned into morning delight – patience, Huaisang, he scolded himself, have patience.

It was difficult, though. His brother was so good to him.

He waited until Nie Mingjue was just on the edge of coming, then hummed that very particular stanza – his brother cried out, pleasure flooding through him, and sank into the quiet all at once, the post-orgasm languor seamlessly merging with the artificial relaxation of Nie Huaisang’s spell. It was important in these early days to reinforce the trance state as much as possible, to make it seem welcoming and relaxing, to associate it with good feelings. After all, if he were going to start playing more dangerous games, he would need to be able to pull his da-ge back into that state quickly and cleanly, to avoid any disruption to his brother’s mental state.

Any lasting disruption, anyway.

“You’ve been doing so good, da-ge,” he said encouragingly, petting his brother’s hair. His brother’s eyes were so beautiful like this, blank and accepting. “I think we’re just about ready to take the next step, don’t you? Get on your knees. Huaisang will show you what you need to do.”

He ended up needing to resort to the command sooner than he’d expected.

It was his own fault, really. He’d been so busy thinking about all the wonderful things he could do in the future when his da-ge was properly his that he’d forgotten that his da-ge had some very annoying habits, especially early in the morning.

“Since you’re already awake, you can join me for morning training,” Nie Mingjue said, his hair already fully braided – he must have gotten up especially early – with a broad grin; he twirled Nie Huaisang’s saber pointedly at Nie Huaisang, who scowled in return, rubbing his eyes and yawning. He preferred to sleep late whenever possible, had forced himself to make the sacrifice of getting up early, and now this?

It wasn’t that he minded his da-ge’s pestering, not really. He knew it was one of the way his da-ge showed him that he loved him, all that scolding really just a mask for his concern for Nie Huaisang’s well-being, and unlike that incipient interpersonal disaster brewing over in the Jiang sect he, at least, knew how accept a bit of sour with his sweet. But on the very first day?

Nie Huaisang was a Nie, too, you know. He also had a temper.

He hummed.

Nie Mingjue’s movement stuttered, and he paused, his eyes slowly starting to blank out, but Nie Huaisang didn’t finish the stanza, not in full. “On your knees,” he ordered.

“Huaisang?” his da-ge asked, looking confused, but his body obeyed, dropping down onto the floor, just as Nie Huaisang had taught him, his hands locking onto his wrists behind his back. “Huaisang, what…? What are you doing?”

“Getting undressed, da-ge,” Nie Huaisang said. “You’re not going to be able to suck my cock through my clothing, are you?”

“Your – what?!”

Nie Huaisang’s canines were sometimes a little sharper than most people, and he bared them at his disobedient da-ge now with a fox’s smile. “It’s not very nice of you to ambush me like that,” he said, pushing aside his clothing and leaving himself bare and hard in front of his da-ge. “Scolding me about my saber training first thing in the morning? You should put your mouth to better use.”

“Huaisang! You can’t – we can’t –”

“I want to see you choke yourself on my cock,” Nie Huaisang said conversationally, and Nie Mingjue leaned forward and took him into his mouth, his eyes wide and round. He was bad at it, quite frankly: other than the brief teaching lesson the day before, it was fairly obvious that he’d never sucked cock before. He went too fast, hitting his gag reflex and sending tears to his eyes, but Nie Huaisang never claimed to be anything other than petty and vindictive when crossed. “Do you like that, da-ge? You like sucking your didi’s cock?”

Nie Mingjue made a noise of protest.

“No? Are you sure? Look at how eager you are. Look at how you use your tongue on me, how you try to take more than you can handle, like you’d die if you didn’t pleasure me.” Nie Mingjue was visibly struggling now, unable to stop his mouth from moving or release his hands from behind his back no matter how much he tried. “I bet you’re hard. Do you like being hard for me?”

Of course Nie Mingjue was hard. Nie Huaisang had put it in the instructions the day before – had painstakingly taken the time to associate the feeling of Nie Mingjue touching himself just the way he liked it with the feeling of Nie Huaisang’s cock on his tongue, so that one sensation would instantly recall the other.

“You can touch yourself,” he added, and Nie Mingjue’s hands finally released from behind his back at last – but they went to do Nie Huaisang’s bidding, not to push him away the way Nie Mingjue had clearly intended. “Don’t come until I say you can.”

He put his hands on his brother’s head, the gesture far from a massage this time, and started fucking his brother’s face. “Maybe this’ll teach you to be nicer to me,” he scolded – but gently, most of his irritation already abated in the wake of his excitement and pleasure. It didn’t take long for him to reach his peak, spilling into his brother’s mouth with a grunt and watching with pleasure as his brother obediently swallowed all that he could and licked up what he couldn’t. “Good boy, da-ge. Well done.”

“Huaisang,” his brother rasped, looking up at him with pleading eyes, one hand still working himself hard and fast, the other tucked down to cup his balls. “Huaisang, what did I do…? What have I done to you…?”

“Oh, da-ge,” Nie Huaisang said, his heart growing warm. Even now, after this, his brother blamed himself before he blamed Nie Huaisang – if that wasn’t love, what was? “Don’t worry. I’ll make it all better.”

He hummed the rest of the stanza, watching the remaining threads of awareness fade away.

“You can come,” he said, and smiled when it only took a few more strokes for his brother to finish. “Forget everything that happened this morning. It was just a bad dream you had, the details of which are unimportant and already gone – except maybe for a slight unpleasant association with surprising me with morning saber training. When you wake up, it’ll be just as it was before I first walked in.”

He walked out of the door and broke the connection, firmed up his resolve, and went back in to get dragged outside for morning saber training, which was the worst.

Still, all things considered, Nie Huaisang felt that he’d gotten out ahead.

Sniggering at his own pun, he lifted up his saber and dragged himself through all the old routines, watching with an indulgent smile as his brother enthusiastically jumped around, barking out suggestions for improvement and correcting his form.

Yes, he thought happily to himself. This is good.

And it’s going to get even better.

-

“Da-ge,” Nie Huaisang said, and his brother looked at him in question. “Are you a virgin?”

“What type of stupid question is that?” Nie Mingjue asked with a glare, and Nie Huaisang held up his hands in a protestation of innocence.

They were at the private baths today, the little grotto with its own hot spring that was reserved for the exclusive use of the Nie clan. Just as the Lan sect had its much-prized Cold Spring, the Nie sect had an entire network of hot springs, with various locations scattered throughout the Unclean Realm. The temperatures of the springs varied from warm to near-boiling, and the water in each one was rich with minerals that cultivators required to strengthen themselves; unlike the Lan sect, the Nie sect believed in rewards as well as discipline, and each spring was stocked full with all sorts of soaps and creams to help ease sore muscles, toughen bone and sinew, or even enhance mental fortitude. They were excellent places to cultivate as well as bathe, and were accordingly extremely popular with the disciples, whether Nie sect disciples or guest disciples who had earned an invitation.

Naturally, the one reserved for the Nie clan was the finest of the lot, and Nie Huaisang loved it dearly. As a member of the Nie clan, he was allowed in as often as he liked and he took full advantage of the privilege, ignoring his brother’s occasional complaints that the baths were meant to supplement cultivation, not replace it. He knew his brother didn’t mean it, that he was happy with anything that would help Nie Huaisang improve – indeed, that he’d been very happy with the extent of Nie Huaisang’s recent improvement, which Nie Huaisang had ascribed to a sudden bout of enlightenment in connection to one of his meditation techniques.

There had been no such enlightenment, of course, but he wasn’t about to tell Nie Mingjue that the improvement in his cultivation came from all of cock-sucking he’d been doing – and receiving – lately, his da-ge’s vigorous yang energy strengthening him much more than he’d anticipated.

(It was because he held his brother’s heart in his hand, he realized, and belatedly understood why his mother’s voice had taught him all those tricks to get people to fall in love. The stories said that the nine-tailed fox spirits enticed men to be their lovers until they lost their souls, and only then devoured them – Nie Huaisang could see why, if the yield was so much greater.)

And that was all just from hands and mouths so far! He was sure that the results would be even more impressive once they started dual cultivation in earnest.

Which was the plan today, in fact, except right before they’d been about to begin he’d thought of the question he had asked, interrupting the flow of things.

Even now, Nie Mingjue was crouched in front of him on the ledge near the pool, his large legs splayed apart and Nie Huaisang’s cock nudging at his well-stretched entrance – he’d had him fingering himself for the last ten minutes straight, convincing Nie Mingjue that it was a natural and normal thing to be doing in the bath with his brother, who was clearly far too busy chattering about nonsense to notice; he had wanted the first time he entered his brother to be with his cock, and anyway he loved a good show.

“I’m just curious, da-ge,” Nie Huaisang said, pouting exaggeratedly until his brother rolled his eyes in amusement. “Won’t you tell me? I thought you told me that it’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

“It isn’t,” Nie Mingjue said crossly – he was often cross, these days, even though Nie Huaisang was doing such a good job of helping him work out his anger through the regular and routine application of pleasure. “It’s a stupid idea, that’s what it is. Experience is experience, inexperience, inexperience; there’s nothing more to it than that. And yet people assign value to it, even condemnation in the case of women –”

“Yes, yes,” Nie Huaisang said, interrupting before his brother could get carried away on yet another rant about the foibles of the cultivation world and how it treated the female victims that had survived the Wen sect with lives but not chastity intact. It was one of the many subjects his brother was taking issue with against Jin Guangshan, who wanted to be Chief Cultivator – as far as Nie Huaisang was concerned, the odious man could do as he liked with the title, but he understood why his brother was so upset about some of his policy decisions. Certainly a slut like Jin Guangshan had no business telling any woman that they couldn’t marry because they’d been involuntarily despoiled. “I know, you’ve told me already. But that doesn’t answer the question, da-ge. Are you a virgin?”

His fingers slid causally in the form of a hand seal, encouraging complaisance – he couldn’t always be humming his brother into a trance, after all! Sometimes one needed to be a bit more subtle.

“If I tell you, can I sit down already?” his brother asked, long-suffering. “I’ve had enough of your games.”

“You can never have enough of my games,” Nie Huaisang said, smiling his fox’s smile. “But yes, da-ge, it’s a deal – just remember to go slow. Now, tell me.”

“Fine. Whatever,” his da-ge said, and grunted a little as he started lowering himself down on Nie Huisang’s cock. “Yes, I’m a virgin. As it happens.”

“Really?” Nie Huaisang said, swallowing and wetting his lips, resisting the stimulation. “But da-ge is so handsome. You really haven’t taken a woman to bed before?”

“Too much trouble,” Nie Mingjue said. “All the fuss and bother of finding a suitable female cultivator who wouldn’t feel pressured by my position, or ambitious for a place as my wife, and then there’s the risk of pregnancy… it didn’t seem worth it.”

“What about men, then?” Nie Huaisang asked. He watched as his cock slowly disappeared, bit by bit, into his brother’s body. “No risk of pregnancy there, and most of them wouldn’t think of marriage.”

“No,” Nie Mingjue said, panting a little. “Huaisang, do we really have to sit here? It’s a little uncomfortable –”

“We’re just sitting in the baths, da-ge,” Nie Huaisang reminded him, reinforcing the message with a hand seal and a bit of spiritual energy. “It’s not like we’re doing anything strange. Just sitting and relaxing, that’s all. Nothing else. Any discomfort you have will pass once you’ve adjusted.”

“Right,” his da-ge said, and pushed himself the rest of the way down with a grunt. “I don’t know what’s gotten into me.”

Nie Huaisang’s lips twitched. “It’s just the heat, I’m sure,” he said ironically, and put his hands on his da-ge’s hips. The sensation of penetration wasn’t new to him, of course, but there was a thrill of pleasure to be had in being balls-deep inside his own brother while he told him how much of a virgin he thought he still was. “You train so much; I bet you have all sorts of muscle cramps that are just now finally relaxing. If you feel any more discomfort, it’s probably just that.”

It was important, he felt, to guide his brother into these things slowly – the enchantment he’d cast was strong, especially with how often he’d repeated it and how open and trusting his brother was towards him, but in the end it was still only an enchantment; his brother could still break free and recover himself if there was something he found too strange, too sudden, too much. Far better to gradually accustom Nie Mingjue to the sensation of having a cock inside of him – or getting his own cock inside of someone else, for that matter – before Nie Huaisang started taking him to his bed on the regular.

“So, why not men?” he asked, picking up the earlier thread of conversation. “It seems to avoid most of the issues you raised, and I know you like men, too.”

“Not the issue about finding a proper partner,” Nie Mingjue said with a sigh. “I’m Sect Leader Nie before I’m anything else – the men in the Nie sect are loyal to me, required to obey me, and after I took the mantle of general in the Sunshot Campaign, many of the other sects feel the same. Who’s to say that someone wouldn’t feel obligated to say yes, even if they didn’t actually want to…? I couldn’t do that.”

You’re a better man than me, Nie Huaisang thought. I want my ‘yes’ no matter how I have to get it.

“Did you ever like any of them?” he asked, and his brother scowled at him. “You did! Was it san-ge? You liked him so much when he was with us.”

“It was,” his brother reluctantly admitted. “Don’t get any ideas, though; that was in the past! Anyway, in his case, it would have been even worse, wouldn’t it? There were already so many rumors about his background. Imagine what people would say if they thought we were lovers!”

“People already thought you were lovers,” Nie Huaisang said dryly.

“All the more reason not to encourage them, then.”

“Mm, I suppose da-ge has a point,” Nie Huaisang said. “You’ll have no choice but to stay with me forever.”

Nie Mingjue huffed and ruffled his hair, making a face when the movement changed the angle a little. “Whatever you say, didi,” he said, indulgent as he was only towards Nie Huaisang. “Now, do you want to meditate a little?”

Nie Huaisang considered it. “Yes,” he finally said. “That’s a good idea. I’ll meditate, and you’ll warm my cock.”

“What was that?” Nie Mingjue said, lips twisting into a scowl. “I didn’t quite hear that last part.”

“I’m agreeing to meditate,” Nie Huaisang said innocently. Instructing his da-ge to immediately forget anything that drew his attention to their current situation had clearly been the right choice; it made this all the more fun. “Just like you suggested.”

“You’re being remarkably cooperative these days,” Nie Mingjue said. “It makes me think you’re up to something.”

“Me? No way, da-ge. I’m far too lazy to scheme.”

“Not if it’s something you really want, you aren’t.”

Nie Huaisang, seen, smiled. “I suppose so. How do you feel right now, da-ge? Physically.”

Nie Mingjue considered the question with the seriousness of a man with a great deal of concern for his health, and many people asking him about it. “Good,” he finally said.

“Full?” Nie Huaisang asked, moving his hips a little to fuck up a bit into Nie Mingjue, who let out a small, involuntary moan.

“Yeah,” Nie Mingjue said, biting his lip a little. “Yeah, full. Kind of – stretched? Not in a bad way. Like when you’re cultivating and you draw in too much qi all at once, but a bit more… physical.”

“If you want to get yourself off, I wouldn’t mind,” Nie Huaisang said comfortingly. “I’m going to meditate, after all. It’ll be as if I’m not paying any attention to you at all.”

“Maybe I will,” Nie Mingjue said, his cheeks flushing red – even after all that work to convince him that this was something he could do without shame, something he should do, he still got all embarrassed when they talked about it. He was so cute! “You meditate. I want to see a noticeable improvement in your strength by the end of the week, you hear me?”

“I don’t think that’ll be a problem,” Nie Huaisang said honestly, and settled in to watch his da-ge touch himself, jerking himself off in that casual and efficient manner he had when he thought he was all alone. He could feel the effect of it already, spiritual energy flowing through his meridians and condensing in his core – dual cultivation was going to be amazing, he just knew it.

“You like the feeling, the one you can’t quite put your finger on right now,” he murmured, letting his words flow right into his brother’s head while he was distracted by pleasure. “It feels good to you, makes you feel secure, happy. Gets you feeling hot. One day, I’m going to make you need it, crave it, beg me for it – I’ll come into your office where you do all the work and you’ll be shifting around anxiously, unsure of what it is that you need, and that’s when I’ll give it to you. I won’t even make you beg me. I’ll fuck you over your own desk, come inside you, plug you up and leave you like that.”

Nie Mingjue might not pay any attention to his words, but he sure noticed it when Nie Huaisang bucked his hips up, fucking up into him; he gasped, leaned forward, and braced himself on Nie Huaisang’s shoulders.

“I’ll have you in the main hall on the throne,” Nie Huaisang said dreamily. “I’ll ride you until you’re weak at the knees and then have you suck me off, and then we’ll invite in our guests, no one the wiser that you’ve got my come in your mouth and yours in my ass. I’ll grow strong, da-ge, until you don’t need to worry about me so much – until I can hold you down. Until I can make you need me.”

“Huaisang,” Nie Mingjue muttered, his eyes hazy as he worked himself. “Shut up. You’re supposed to be meditating.”

Nie Huaisang pressed his lips together and smiled, watching his brother finish in his hand, instinctively fucking himself down on Nie Huaisang’s cock to get more of what felt so good.

“Actually, da-ge, I think I found something that I think will help my cultivation even more,” he said conversationally once his brother had somewhat recovered, and as expected his brother turned bright eyes to him. “Here, put your hand on my belly – aren’t I stronger already?”

“You are,” Nie Mingjue said, surprised. “Even compared to this morning! Not much, but definitely something – you must be very compatible with this new cultivation technique you’ve found.”

“I heard it was one that my mother used to use,” Nie Huaisang said, and it wasn’t even a lie. His mother had always liked Nie Mingjue, from the stories he’d heard; he was perhaps the only one of all the people in the Unclean Realm that she actually liked, and Nie Mingjue paid back her affection by loyally ignoring all of the speculation and whispers about her – he didn’t question it. “I’m having some trouble picking up the technique fully, though; you know how I am. Could I ask you to help me with it?”

“Certainly,” his brother said, reaching out to ruffle his hair affectionately. “You don’t know how happy I am to see you making progress.”

“It needs a lot of practice, though,” Nie Huaisang said, widening his eyes and pouting. “Lots and lots of practice – will da-ge help keep me on track?”

“Like I do your saber training?” Nie Mingjue said dryly.

“Well, I’m more compatible with this one,” Nie Huaisang said, ducking his head to hide his grin. “If da-ge agrees to help, I promise I’ll do my best to practice as often as da-ge recommends.”

“We’ll see how long that lasts,” Nie Mingjue remarked with – admittedly justified cynicism. “All right. What’s the cultivation technique? I’ll help however I can.”

“Let me show you,” Nie Huaisang said, and rolled them both over. “Put your hands on the beam there above your head – yes, perfect – spread your legs a bit more, tilt your hips up…”

He pulled out and thrust in hard, punching out a fucked-out little exhale from his da-ge that he rather liked the sound of, so he did it again, and again, and again, until he was really getting into it.

“Look at that, da-ge,” he said sweetly. “I’m working up a real sweat. Isn’t that good?”

His brother didn’t respond, of course. Fucking him like this, after he’d just come, was overstimulating him to the extreme, reducing him down to little mewls and whimpers and breathy punched-out sighs as he spread his legs wider and tried so very sweetly to encourage him to keep up the good work.

Somehow, Nie Huaisang thought he’d be able to defy his brother’s expectations and actually stick to whatever training regime his brother put together for him this time.

Somehow.

Clearly, all he’d ever needed was the right incentive.

[zosonils]

what are some random papyrus headcanons you currently have?

ooughwhhghgh anon you know the EXACT way to my heart. got a map to it and everything. a real good and fancy map. the ones with sea monsters in the corners

autistic adhd papyrus real

he tends to think of anything he doesn’t understand [and even some things he does!] in terms of puzzles, since they’re a lifelong special interest and they help him contextualise things! for instance if he’s navigating someplace he’s never been before it’s easier for him to visualise things as an incomplete map that he has to find the pieces [landmarks] of than it is to just wander until he finds his way or go up to someone and ask for directions [talking to people he doesn’t know very well is also a puzzle and he has more trouble solving that one because sometimes the clues lie to you]. this approach to things makes him astoundingly good at working through things logically, although between the difficulties applying this sort of thinking to unpredictable social situations and his occasional penchant for insane troll logic he doesn’t have a 100% success rate

in addition to this he’s a really visual thinker and can understand almost anything really quickly if he has a way to visualise it, whether it’s explicitly given to him or he thinks of one himself and suddenly goes OH I GET IT NOW. anything that doesn’t come with a coherent visual metaphor is borderline impossible for him to grasp, though. dude needs his diagrams

he likes playing video games, at least when he isn’t hyperfocused on his duties as a royal guard in training, and he tends to get an insane amount of mileage out of them because once he beats whatever objective the game explicitly gives him he’ll start making up his own self-imposed challenges or ‘puzzles’ instead. like if you gave him tetris he’d be super into the standard a-type and b-type modes, but once he gets tired of those he’ll start doing stuff like trying to play in time with the music, or without rotating any pieces, or painstakingly arranging incomplete lines so that the empty spaces form some kind of intricate pattern

gloves and especially scarves are a comfort accessory for him! even before/after the battle body is a thing and he’s wearing different clothes from one day to another pretty much every outfit he wears includes those accessories. if it’s too hot for a huge warm tightly-wrapped scarf he just grits his teeth and wears it anyway

the reason pap hates grease so much is that it sets off literally every single sensory issue he has. it sticks to you when you touch it just a little, it feels just as gross through your gloves, it’s hard to wash off, it stains your favourite scarf so you have to put it through the washing machine twice to make absolutely sure it doesn’t smell weird later and stress you out again, it has a gross taste that stays in your mouth for ages, it’s just the worst! how his brother stomachs the stuff he’ll never know [and it’s not because he doesn’t have a stomach, that doesn’t mean he can’t have standards either]

papyrus knows that sans suffers from depression, and he understands what that actually means as opposed to just having a surface-level grasp on ‘sans isn’t happy as often as he should be’. the issue isn’t that he doesn’t understand or desperately want to help, he does, but the sheer magnitude of sans’ issues is just substantially more than papyrus has any frame of reference for. the best he knows how to do is to be as blisteringly positive as possible in hopes that some of it will rub off on sans, while also refusing to enable any of the lazy or blatantly self-destructive habits sans has that papyrus can tell aren’t making him feel any better. short motherfucker needs a trained therapist and/or antidepressants more than anything but papyrus is doing everything he can, and while papyrus being papyrus is already enough to keep sans going he’s helping as much as he does specifically because of the deliberate effort he makes to beat sans’ depression over the head with a bone until it runs off hissing

wow that one got long lmao sorry i just really hate when people portray papyrus as completely oblivious to sans’ problems when he’s pretty strongly hinted to understand them to at least some degree and 1. it literally makes for such a better story on both the heartwarming and crushingly tragic ends of the spectrum if pap knows and is doing his best to help 2. even if it didn’t people are still deliberately ignoring huge chunks of papyrus’ characterisation in favour of portraying him as the smol little innocent cinnamon roll uwu bean who doesn’t understand anything and y’all have got to realise the implications of forcing this personality on the most heavily autistic coded character in the game :|

on a more lighthearted note, papyrus can reluctantly but wholeheartedly appreciate a good pun or cleverly-planned prank, he just knows that sans likes getting a rise out of people with them and goes with his instinct to groan over his instinct to laugh because it makes sans happy. sans is completely aware that papyrus is doing this, so there’s an unspoken self-aware undertone to their whole routine lmao

whenever papyrus, sans, and undyne are together they have this wacky dynamic where they’re all constantly tossing the straight man role around like a hot potato and i want a dumb sitcom about the three of them living in the skeleton household that goes absolutely mental with this wacky dynamic and god damn it i’ll write it myself if i have to

papyrus gets to kin me for this one, there’s like a single phineas and ferb dvd that fell into the underground a few years ago that made its way to him in one way or another [sans probably gave it to him with no way of predicting the special interest hell [positive] he was about to unleash] and he immediately became obsessed. he can recite entire episodes from memory because he watched them so many times the audio got burned into his brain. his favourite character is doof and he considers the annoying dog his personal perry the platypus. when he gets to the surface and finds out that there’s like 200 more episodes he cries with happiness

aroace papyrus also real

it’s getting late so i’m going to leave this here but i am always down to talk about papyrus. i fuckin love papyrus so much guys

[im-moreofa-dogperson]

A Fearful Encounter - Part 4

Featuring: Dr. Jonathan Crane aka Scarecrow x Female Reader

Warning: gun violence

Summary: After John’s promise to free you from the wretched Gotham city, he teaches you how to defend yourself so you can make it on your own. However, when pushed far enough, you may just be more than he’d made you out to be.

Words: 1890

Previous parts: part 1 part 2 part 3

**Sorry it took so long to post this new part!

____________________________________________

As if on cue, as soon as John had professed his intents to help you escape from the vileness of this city, you were startled by a knock at the door.

You both looked at each other, as if questioning whether the other knew who was there. After it was clear neither of you were expecting company, John grabbed hold of your hand and pulled you quickly to your room where there was a fire escape.

Just as you unlatched the window, you heard the door swing open and crash against the wall. You hurried along raising the window, scattering the dust that had collected on the frame, and quickly climbed out with John right behind you.

He jumped down to the ground first and caught you by the waist after you landed right next to him. It wasn’t until you’d made it into his car and drove 3 blocks away when you finally felt it was safe to breathe again.

You rolled your head over against the head rest to stare at him. “Who was that?”

He glanced over at you and quickly back to the road before responding, “not sure.”

You sat with this uneasiness for a few blocks before he finally pulled up to what must have been his apartment building. It was far more casual than you had expected although you weren’t quite sure what it was you were expecting.

A young girl and her mother were exiting the building as you were walking in and they barely gave you or John a single glance. You wondered if any of the residents were aware of who they were more or less bunking with. Maybe John paid them off to keep quiet.

Upon entry to his apartment, you slowed down in the door frame to take it in. Although you hadn’t been picturing a dungeons-like cavern with spikes on the windows and knives fanned out on the coffee table, you also hadn’t expected such a pleasantly pleasing atmosphere.

The living room was well furnished with a not so well-lived-in couch pushed up against the wall of which an antique, baroque style painting hung from. The dark, morose hues of the depicted scene fit well with the borderline demented passions of the man who hung it.

Otherwise, the room was casual and almost homey. John had been studying you while you took in his apartment before finally speaking up; “you need to learn how to defend yourself.”

Taken aback, you glance at him and respond, “what”?

“Well, this is only a temporary residency,” he goes to say, plopping his keys into a turquoise bowl on the coffee table. “Eventually you’ll be on your own where I won’t be able to jump in and rescue you.”

You snort at that and reply, “Yeah, and you won’t be able to put me in a situation where I need rescuing either.”

“Either way, you need to learn.” He smiles slightly, and it’s a smile that used to suspend you in uncertainty, but now you’re able to get enough of a read on him that you know he’s simply trying to assure you of his sincerity.

You agree to his proposition nonetheless as he leads you to the building’s basement to practice self-defense.

******

For the next few days, you painstakingly practiced fending off attackers through physical altercations as well as how to shoot a gun. John didn’t make things easy for you, constantly pushing you to do better.

You were reminded of the disappointed expression he’d wore on his face when he’d found you’d overwhelmed a security guard through force during the Fear Aversion Therapy.

Ironically, the very thing he’d once punished you for doing, was now the very thing he was teaching you to be better at.

During your lessons, you noticed there was an abundance of physical contact between the two of you. You suddenly recalled the first night you ever spent together when you’d kissed him in a lapse of judgement.

You tried not to dwell on these thoughts too much as John held your trigger finger under his in an attempt to better your aim. You could feel his breath against your exposed neck and once again fought the urge to turn around just then and kiss him.

To take your mind off these intrusive thoughts, you considered how you were in need of fresh clothes. Afterall, you’d been living at John’s place for three days and still hadn’t revisited your old apartment for your stuff.

After badgering John to drive you after your lesson, he finally agrees, and you head out back to your old home.

******

Walking up the concrete stairs that you’d once found so familiar felt alien to you now. Though it hadn’t been long since you’d resided in this home, you still felt as though you’d changed so much.

It was almost as if it wasn’t you that had once climbed and descended these stairs for years, but rather a stranger you’d left behind in the past. For good reason.

When you reached the door, you extended an arm out to the handle, but as soon you did, John gripped your wrist and held you still. You give him an inquisitive look before realizing what he must have been thinking.

The intruder that you’d barely escaped from three days prior most likely wouldn’t have cared enough to shut and repair the door they’d just busted through. Meaning someone else has been here. And that someone could still be here.

John clearly was thinking the same thing as he took out his gun and cautiously opened the door handle.

When he pushed the door open, what you saw made you drop your gun. You barely even registered John mumbling ‘shit’ under his breath.

“Dad?”

******

“Thought I was dead, huh?”. Your father simply asks. He was lounging on the couch as if he’d never left. “That why you look like you’re seeing a ghost?”

The state of shock you’re in prevents you from even answering him. John, however, recovers much quicker than you.

“Thought I told you what would happen if you ever came back here,” he says. You immediately sober up at this threat of John’s. The implication of it being he knew your father was alive and never actually killed him like he’d told you. It was simply another tactic to instill more fear in you. Fear of him.

You know you should feel betrayed. You should hate him for tricking you yet again. All that was behind you now, however. Now all you felt was pure disdain for the man sitting in front of you, the throw blanket you’d once lent to John lying at his feet.

“What are you doing here?” You ask as apathetically as you could.

“Straight to the point, huh? Not gonna ask how I’ve been, what I’ve been up to, if I wanna catch up-“

“Like you ever gave enough of a shit to ask me any of that,” You scoff.

Abruptly jumping to his feet, your father points an accusatory finger at you and replies, “I did give a shit about you! Everything I did was for you! You don’t even know the half of what I’ve had to give up. For you.”

His statement was so foreign and ridiculous to your ears that you feel like laughing. How could someone be so delusional?

“Everything you did was for yourself. The best thing that ever happened to me was hearing about your death.”

At that, John whips his head to you. He’d been watching your argument back and forth like a tennis match, in an almost amused way. He knew some sort of violence would ensue upon seeing your father, but this he didn’t expect.

“Fine,” your father says sighing, and sitting back down. “I’m here because I need your help. Well, I need your connections. I’ve come into some trouble… something that I can’t run away from.”

You squint your eyes trying to decide what he meant by all this when John suddenly laughed mockingly and said, “Sir, I thought I made it clear that if I were ever to see your face again, mine would be the last you see. What makes you think I’d submit to any request of yours?”

Having put everything together given your advanced knowledge in the deceiving ways of your father, you answer for him, “because he thinks I’ll convince you on his behalf.”

“Look, I just need you to use your little home-brewed concoction on some guys who think I owe them money.” You shake your head at the all the unearned confidence your father must have in order to talk to Jonathan Crane like that.

“Or maybe I’ll use it on you,” John simply threatens.

“Enough!” You finally say. “No one’s doing anything to anyone. Dad, we’re leaving. You’re on your own. Your favorite game of scaring me into doing your bidding is over.”

John puts his hand on your waist to push you out in front of him towards the door. As you leave, however, your father begins to laugh. It’s a guttural laugh that stirs your darkest memories of him.

Without thinking about it, you slip your hand into John’s jacket pulling out his gun and train it at your father’s head.

John eyes you curiously, and in the strangest of moments you finally realize what draws him to you. You’re unpredictable. You act in ways in even you can’t anticipate.

Your father’s laughter stops when you pull the trigger.

******

The walk back to the car was a blur. You remember vomiting in the stairwell and then John eventually scooping you up after your legs had given out.

When he set you back in the passenger’s seat and began driving, you knew you needed to pin down how you really felt before you drove yourself insane. One of the many lessons you once learned as John’s patient.

You knew it wasn’t regret you felt. Although the information of your father’s murder had once been used to threaten you against escaping Arkham Asylum, you had still sighed a breath of relief at the mention of it.

Now, to see him again was like a waking nightmare; unsure whether his presence was real or imaginary, but positive that it was unwelcome.

You definitely felt shock. You’d been imagining this scene unfolding for quite some time, but even you were surprised to have found yourself reaching for the gun and pulling the trigger in such an unyielding manner.

Though, what it really boiled down to was exhilaration. You felt as though a weight had been lifted off your shoulders and for once, it was by your own hand. You were no longer the scared girl you once were standing with her back to the sea and a total dependency on the hand extended out before you.

You giggle as you almost compared yourself to the Great Loch Ness Monster in all her green finned glory that you once thought you’d be swallowed whole by. Your giggle soon turns rampant and you fail to stop the uproarious laughter that then pursues from you.

Even with Scarecrow in the driver’s seat, you felt as though you’d finally taken control. Of your mind, and your trigger finger. You laugh like that all the way back to the apartment.

______________________________________________

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Christmas Specials: Fishcake

CW: Some hint of dehumanization and references to Bahram’s depression/past breakdown at the end, some brief emeto references, but really this is just fluff. Oh, also brief unintentional ableism that Miah calls out.

Introduction | Siren Song | Cries | Here | Not Sure | Draw Blood | Fish | Signs | Stop | Something New | Help | Please Don’t Let Me Drown  | Fish Food | Squeaky Toy | Fading | Fishcake

---

BAHRAM’S NOTES

December 24th, 20XX 11:15 pm Mer in Residence: 71 Days

Miah showed up tonight with a Christmas present for me, and now I feel like a giant dick for not having anything to give her. 

Christmas just isn’t a thing in my family. I mean, I have cousins who go overboard with it, kind of a fitting in thing, but my family never did. Baba does some kind of fast, but for Maman it’s just another day and for me it’s always meant mostly a day where I played video games all day because I didn’t have to be at school or work. 

Oh, I need to call Baba and Maman tomorrow, note to self. She always gets worried about me right around the end of the year, what with how they figured out I was quitting school and everything.

I guess getting a phone call from a hospital leaves a bloody impression.

Anyway, Miah comes in with this big shopping bag in her hand, waving at me all bright and sunny and cheerful. She set the bag down long enough to berate me for - she assumed - having not taken my medicine on time. 

For the record, she was right, but I didn’t tell her that.

Nearly drowning in saltwater made my lungs apparently terribly angry with me, so for the next eight days I’m on a run of antibiotics to handle a lovely case of bacterial pneumonia. Would’ve been far handier to get pneumonia right away, but instead I ended up in Urgent Care yesterday, paying 200 dollars and waiting two hours to see a doctor for less than ten minutes. 

Dr. L says she’ll reimburse me the cost, but still. 

Miah asked me how I was feeling, I said I felt fine, really, and then of course I had an awful coughing fit just to prove myself a wonderful liar. The coughing’s the worst part - every time I really get going, it’s like being underwater all over again. I can feel my lungs fighting to inflate, to take the air in, and I can hear how hard I’m working to get enough air to stop coughing at all. Miah can’t hear it, but she can see it all right, and she looked worried.

I signed, “I’m fine, it’ll stop, the doctor says it will,” and she frowned at me, but let it go, I guess. While she had her face turned away to greet the mer, I opened the pill bottle and dry-swallowed the meds really fast. Sometimes there are benefits to Miah not being able to hear things.

The mer - Kima, I can call him by his name in these notes, the ones only I see - was already at the side of the tank, watching us. He’s perked up a bit lately, since I started giving him live fish on the days Dr. L isn’t around and Miah brought him all these enrichment things. We’re doing what we can, but I know it’s still not enough.

Enough would be figuring out where his bloody family is and getting him back to them, but I just… I can’t even begin to explain, even to myself, the logistical nightmare of hauling a six-foot-long mer back to the ocean and finding someone who would take him back up north where his family likely is in the middle of bloody fucking December.

It’s the right thing to do, yeah.

But it’d just be too hard to pull off, not without losing… my whole taped-together life, yeah? Plus I’m still dealing with trying to figure out who exactly is my real employer at this point - who’s paying Dr. L - and what they want from the mer’s… thing he can do.

Miah glanced over at him and signed, “Don’t worry, I have something for you, too,” and Kima just looked back at her, head cocked to the side. She looked over at me and signed, “It’s a fish-cake.”

I have to admit, it took me a second to even begin to respond. My hands just… hung in mid-air, before finally I asked, “A what?”

“A fishcake. It’s like a fruitcake, but so much worse.” She leaned down to dig around in the big bag and pulled out a box, pausing to add, “I had to wrap it and box it or the car would have smelled horrible for days,” before she picked up and laid the box on my desk, opened it, took out something wrapped in layers of plastic, and unwrapped that, painstakingly slowly.

I glanced over at the mer, who watched with total fascination. Maybe he’d caught the sign for fish, he’s incredibly food-motivated. Which makes sense, of course, probably with his pod he’d spend a lot of his day eating and hunting for more, but

Bahram. Focus.

She was right - as soon as the plastic came off, I could smell it. 

“How can you handle that? Isn’t your sense of smell… really good?” Ah, yes, I am always so proud of myself when I forget a sign for a word I want to say and have to sort of cobble together the spirit of it with other signs.

She looked at me with this sort of dry are you kidding me expression, then signed, “I’m deaf, B, not a superhero,” in a way that made me feel about ten inches tall.

“Sorry. That’s an awful smell, though.”

And it was. I like fish as much as the next man, but this was foul. She grinned at me and picked up the tupperware the fishcake was in using towels to protect her hands from picking the smell up too, I guess, and went over to the ladder up to the platform. Her back was already to me, so I couldn’t ask her the question I had, or tell her not to do that one-handed. Instead, I just sort of… got up and hovered uselessly while she climbed up without looking back, and then followed her up there.

The platform makes me… nervous, now. I stay closer to the ladder, farther from the water. I hope the mer, that Kima doesn’t think I don’t want to be close to him or something.

Miah took the lid off the tupperware and waited. Soon enough the mer popped up near us, interested in what we were doing on the platform. 

I watched those nasal slits open wide when he smelled the fish. And I watched how his eyes went big and shiny with excitement. Whatever Miah had put in the foul thing, he wanted it.

She dumped it into the water - I didn’t see much, other than a sort of loaf-shape and a sense of texture I never want to think about again - and Kima tore into it. It was the grossest thing I’ve ever seen, and I have actually watched Kima eat raw fish that was living seconds before. I had to look away - and so did Miah, but she was laughing. She can’t hear herself, only feel the vibration in her own throat. Her laughs kind of sound almost honking, choked-off, just totally un-self-conscious noises she’s barely aware of.

I should tell her that I like the way she laughs.

Oh, I absolutely should not do that.

Maybe I should, though.

She grinned at me, still laughing, and signed, “This is disgusting!”

“It is,” I signed back, “And it’s your fault, don’t forget that!”

She was still laughing when Kima looked back up at us, fish bits smeared around his mouth, and she signed, “Merry Christmas, K-I-M-A,” to him. He stared back, signed yes, and then dove back under the water, present utterly devoured, leaving only gross little particles I will probably have to hose off the sides of the tank on cleaning day when the filters can’t quite pick them up.

Miah looked at me, and I just thought, you know, she’s really pretty even under the sun lamps, and nobody is pretty in that light. Then she signed, after this moment of stillness, “I bought you a present, too.”

“Me?” I pointed back at myself, blinking, surprised. “I don’t do Christmas, M, I’m sorry.”

She shook her head. “I know. But I still bought a present. Can I show you?”

“Um, sure.” I get nauseous when I’m nervous. For a second, climbing back down the ladder, I thought I’d just get sick all over myself. I was badly designed, my defense mechanism is just to vomit on myself to scare predators away, clearly my body thinks pretty women are dangerous and I have to embarrass myself until they stop looking at me.

Finally, though, we were back at my desk. The smell… lingered. I’ve since burned the candle Miah got me, and the sulfur from the matches and the scent of the candle itself have largely done away with it, but when we got back, it was still powerful. 

She didn’t pull anything out of the bag, instead she just took a small card out of her back pocket and handed it to me. 

I looked down at it. “Alborz?” I realized I’d spoken out loud, looking down, and looked back up quickly so I could repeat it in sign, so she could see. “A-L-B-O-R-Z? A gift card to a restaurant?”

She nodded, quickly, signing so fast I was having trouble keeping up. I guess… was she nervous, too? “It’s food like you grew up with, yes?”

“Yeah, more or less. I mean nothing is better than my mother’s food. But why-”

She reached out and grabbed my arm with one hand to stop me, leaned in so close that the smell of this super subtle perfume she wears was stronger, for a second, than the smell of fish. “B,” She signed, with heavy, slow emphasis, “Think about why I bought you this.”

I just looked at her. I didn’t get it at all, and told her so.

I’m so bloody dense.

She sighed, throwing her hands up in the air with an eye-roll and a smile, and then signed, “When are you taking me there?”

She had to repeat the signs three times before I realized she was asking me on a date.

So anyway, I don’t think I’ll sleep a wink tonight, and also I think I celebrate Christmas now.

Date-mas.

That was an awful joke. I’m leaving it there just to properly shame myself if I ever reread this.

---

@astrobly  @burtlederp   @finder-of-rings   @slaintetowhump   @moose-teeth   @misspelledwitch   @whumpfigure   @whumptywhumpdump   @boxboysandotherwhump   @whumpywhumpwhump   @yet-another-heathen   @fanmanga1357-blog @justabitofwhump  

[misterewrites]

Intro to Caitlyn 102 (Mirror’s Edge)

Hey everyone! E here with another chapter. been a busy week so this is a little late but with any luck I'll have the next underground chapter out this week or maybe another chapter for this story. dunno I'm just having fun in general. I hope you are all staying safe, wash your hands, wear your mask, get the vaccine if you can, keep each other safe! Feel free to tell your friends about this, reblog it or leave comments I'd greatly appreciate it. Trying promote myself is weird haha Stay safe and have a great week!

If you’d like an easier place to read the story, feel free to follow the link below

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30599756/chapters/76796408

Summary: Caitlyn has her target thanks to one Finnrick Drift and now it's time to break in. After she takes care a few things at home.

-----

Caitlyn sighed as she was unable to keep her eyes off the slivered hue butterfly hair ornament in her palm, the multi-colored glass shards wings stretched wide like it was ready to take flight.

It was beautiful, it was the perfect and it was expensive.

The sliver was real, none of that cheap painted copper or tin or whatever hairclips were normally made of. The different shards of glass had been painstakingly put into place, each fitting together perfectly like a completed puzzle which must’ve taken months to do by hand. And true to his word, she could feel the energy of this item, the magical thrum of its power. It no longer felt cold and distant but warm, light and carried a familiarity with it. It was strange to say but it was almost like the ornament was breathing in time with her. Like it was a part of her.

Of course it was, it’s freaking magic! Frankly magic could do whatever the hell it wanted apparently. The real question was what hidden power laid within.

Somehow in the back of her mind she knew how this thing was supposed to work: it granted her some kind of temporary movement. What that meant she hadn’t the slightest clue. She also knew it would only last an hour and would ‘refresh’ at every dawn. Because that’s a thing. And she knew the spoken word needed to activate it. Which of course meant the word was angel.

Caitlyn frowned, unsure what kind of joke this was. Finnrick had specifically called her angel twice: once when they first met and when asked what exactly the hairclip did. Clearly it was some inside joke he was in on. She just wished she was too.

“Hey Cat, you okay? You keep looking at the wall.”

Caitlyn shook herself out of her stupor and found herself staring at wide brown curious eyes that belonged her baby brother Lou.

Louis or Lou as he preferred to be called, was 7 years old (soon to be 8 next month). He had messy black hair with a cute button nose. He wore clothing typical of a child his age: A red shirt with a hero splashed across its front and baggy shorts. His sneakers were worn and frayed which reminded Caitlyn she really needed to get him a new pair. Between his chubby cheeks and the gap in his smile he was the cutest kid in the world. True he was a bit pudgy due to his lack of height though if he was anything like their father, he would grow to tower over her.

Caitlyn sighed sadly: two years and still no word of her parents. One day they just up and vanished. She used to think they had died through some cruel act of fate or misfortune. In her weaker moments, she briefly wondered if they just left Lou and her behind to start a new life.

But now, with the realization there was a whole magical world on top of her own, she couldn’t fathom what could’ve happened to them. Her thoughts were endlessly filled with possibility and none of them good. None of them made the pain hurt less.

She pinched herself as hard as she could. The sharp pain cut through her wandering mind and focused her back on the task at hand.

“I’m fine” She gave a sly smile “But have you finished your sandwich? A nice man bought it for you and I don’t want it to go to waste.”

Lou bounced up and down excitedly, pudgy hands tucked into a fist “Yes, yes I did! It was yummy!”

“Awesome!”

“Who was the nice man?” Lou asked quizzically, tilting his head to one side.

“Umm….” Caitlyn was torn: One hand she wasn’t quite sure where her and Finnrick landed on the whole trustworthy scale. On the other hand she couldn’t just say a random name. Lou had an uncanny ability to know when she was lying. Bordering on supernatural sometimes.

She glanced carefully towards her baby brother, searching for any sign of magic or mysticism in his chubby cheeks.

He scrunched his eyes wide and inched closer to her. She blinked, stumbling backwards at his sudden movement.

“I win!” He cheered with a bright smile “You blinked first!”

It took a moment for Caitlyn to process what was going on.

She laughed softly “Yeah kiddo. You win.”

“So what’s the nice man’s name? It’s not Jonas, is it? He was a creep.”

“Yeah he was.” Caitlyn awkwardly agreed. Her stomach churned unhappily at the thought of her ex. “No, his name is Finn.”

“Finn” Lou paused thoughtfully, eyes narrowed in concentration “Fiiiiinn. Finn! I like it! Fiiiiiiiinn. Can you thank him for me next time you two go out?”

Caitlyn rose a hand up no protest “Whoa, whoa, whoa slow down kiddo. We’re not dating.”

“But why not? You said he was nice.”

“I…” she glanced about the apartment wearily: Peeling paint, barely held together furniture and rent past due. So much work and effort for this ramshackle home.

“I don’t have time kiddo. I got to keep working if we wanna keep this place.”

Lou frowned, his face confused as if he couldn’t understand the word work “But you’re always working Cat. When are you supposed to have fun?”

Caitlyn ruffled his already messy hair lovingly “I’ll worry about that and you worry about having fun...and keeping up your grades.”

Lou’s ears perked up “What? Sorry, I think I hear Hedge calling me.” and without further warning, he bolted into his room, picking up his beloved turtle plush Hedge and dove under the covers.

Caitlyn couldn’t help but grin at his brother’s antics.

Then reality set in again.

She rather not deal with this newly found, barely understood magical world but regular folks weren’t paying the bills like they used to. Her fence was giving her less and charging more. Some bulltshit about paying off crooked cops or whatever. Sounded like a half ass excuse to her but they both knew she didn’t have much options.

Real gold. Any loose change from magical folks could easily lighten her burden and the promise of more sat in some entitled prick’s safe.

She couldn’t resist even if she had tried and she hadn’t tried to stop herself in years.

-----

Caitlyn waited till midnight to make her move. It was easier to blend in with darker shades and regardless of who she was robbing, she wasn’t in the business to make enemies. Especially enemies with unknown powers.

Lou was tucked into bed, nice and cozy with Hedge locked in his arms. Mrs. Palmer, a kindly older woman next door, agreed to watch him. They shared a silent knowing look with one another.

Her apartment was on the less than well kept side of town and everyone had their hands in some sort of shady business here. They tried their best to keep their noses clean but sometimes there were dips into less savory methods of getting cash.

Caitlyn was prepped for the mission ahead: A black blouse with black leggings. Thick black hiking boots for gripping walls and a leather black jacket to keep the cold and sharp pointy objects away from her skin.

She took a sad glance at the jacket, remembering all the times her father joked about handing it down to her when she beat him at arm wrestling. She could still hear dad’s hearty laughter echoing down the hall.

Caitlyn’s eyes hardened as she forced herself to look away “They left. No point in letting good gear go to waste.”

She took a deep calming breath as she ripped the tape off the butterfly knife she hid underneath her bed. She hated unnecessary violence but sometimes it took more than a good right hook to get someone off your ass. Better to have it and not need it than wind up with a bruise of regret.

She slipped the knife into her jacket pocket, slung her bag over her shoulder, nodded thankfully towards Mrs. Palmer and made her way out the door.

------

Caitlyn decided to take the long way: True it was halfway across town and took an hour of traveling but she always enjoyed the quiet that came with waiting. It calmed her, allowed her time to double and triple check her plans with the added benefit of shaking out any loose thoughts rattling in her head with each bump of the bus.

She stared at the beautiful ornate butterfly clip currently holding her ponytail up in the window. Caitlyn wasn’t sure what exactly Finnrick had given her but she didn’t want to use it at the apartment in case it didn’t do what it was supposed to. After all, suddenly having the knowledge in her head on how to work the hairclip was a bit unsettling. Okay really unsettling. Better to use it far away from Lou in case it exploded or something else nasty.

She got off the bus at last and hurried her way over to Andor’s, careful to cover her face whenever she spotted the odd store or traffic camera. She didn’t know who actually controlled them and she didn’t want to find out the hard way.

Andor’s Antique Shoppe (really cute elf boy) was the tallest building on the street: three floors that towered over the single story shops nearby. The street itself was nearly pitch black with a street lamp on either end of the block being the only source of light. Not a soul in sight.

Now was a good time as any to try out the hairclip. Caitlyn closed her eyes, exhaling slowly as she focused on the magical item. Goosebumps ran down her spine while the quiet, powerful thrum hummed softly in her ears. The word escaped her lips like it was second nature.

“Angel”

She nearly stumbled as a warm sensation filled her entire being. It covered her like a second skin and suddenly she was aware of the hairclip intimately: It’s weight, where it sat upon her head. She could feel the wings of the butterfly unfold, outstretched and ready to take flight. She heard the shimmering of magic forming into existence and she let out a surprised gasp when her feet lifted off the ground.

Caitlyn glanced in the nearby shop window, tears welling in her eyes:Beautiful translucent butterfly wings extended out from behind her. The outline of the wings were a deep rich purple with the multicolored glass stained shards gorgeously laid across its surface, each as elegant and refined as any art piece she’d ever seen. Each flutter and beat held her aloft, defying gravity’s hold on her. In the shadows of the night, the soft glow of the wings made her look like...

“An angel.” she whispered gently “I look like an angel.”

Caitlyn wiped the tears away. Technically she was a butterfly but this wasn’t the time for sentiment. She had a job to do and the longer she floated out here the more likely she’d get caught.

“Up” she murmured and the wings obliged: she rose silently skyward, each beating of the wings taking her higher and higher. The chill of the wind felt nice across her cheeks and she couldn’t help but relax in its presence.

Her original plan was to simply scale the side of the building and pick the window to gain entry but with her new found vertical movement, it was easier to just go up and over. She made sure she ascended from the end of the street and flew over to the third floor.

Caitlyn tilted her head quizzically as she found herself staring at a haphazardly open window.

“It can’t be this simple.” she narrowed her eyes suspiciously “It has to be a trap.”

-----

Caitlyn stood dumbfounded in the unguarded office of Andor.

She looked to her left then to her right, waiting for some sort of ambush to be sprung.

None came.

“Okay it is this simple.” Caitlyn whispered to herself, opting to just take this stroke of good fortune and run with it. She quietly willed the wings away and with a glitter of magic they vanished into thin air.

She crept over to the black safe tucked lazily in the corner, a stack of important looking documents just thrown on top without a care in the world. She quickly pocketed them and turned her attention to the roadblock in her way. True to Finnrick’s information, the safe itself was fairly simple and wouldn’t take much to break into. Either Andor was extremely confident in his security or really didn’t take being a crook seriously.

Not that it mattered to Caitlyn. It wasn’t her fault Andor hadn’t invested in a good safe.

She pressed her ear against the cool surface of the metal, trying to ignore the icy chill on her cheek as she strained to listen for the nearly inaudible click of the tumblers falling into place. It had taken two tries too many but she allowed herself a smug grin as the safe’s door swung open with a creak.

Caitlyn’s eyes narrowed at the sight of a funny symbol painted onto the back of the door. It gleamed with a strange unnatural light before disappearing all together. Before she could began to guess what bad news that meant, the shouts and thundering footsteps echoed from below answered her question.

“Shit.” She whispered as she began frantically grabbing everything she could: Folders, stacks of papers and clanging metal in heavy pouches. It all went into her bag with as much speed as she could muster.

The footsteps grew louder with a frantic pace. They were already on the second floor if she hazard a guess. Caitlyn made for the window and without a second thought, flung herself outside with all her might.

“Angel!” She hurried muttered but the wings were forming too slowly. She already crossed past the next floor down when they barely began to outstretch from her back. Caitlyn was no physics major but even she knew there was no way she’d be able to slow down in time to avoid breaking her neck. She shielded her face with her arms and tried not to flinch as she waited for the pain to set in.

It didn’t come.

Instead she felt herself slow to a stop midair and just stayed here. Caitlyn opened her eyes to find herself bobbing up and down inches away from the pavement. There were a pair of legs as well: Black slacks and well polished loafers with the bottom half of a black tattered trench coat.

“Falling for me angel? I didn’t expect it to be literal.”

She glanced up to found herself staring at the one and only Finnrick Drift before her, a cheeky smile on his lips and his hand held out.

Finnrick waved his fingers over her and she landed onto the sidewalk with a soft thud.

He offered her his hand but she preferred to scamper to her feet in the most ungraceful way possible. Her cheeks burned with a pinkish hue at the sight of the P.I.

“Thanks.” She couldn’t keep the embarrassment out of her voice “I….thanks.”

Finnrick nodded “Anytime.”

“WHY IS THE DOOR LOCKED?!” A voice roared from overhead.

“CUZ IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE YOU IDIOT!”

Realization knocked Caitlyn out of whatever was going on here but as she turned to make a break for it, Finnrick rose his hand to stop her.

She glanced at him, lost and confused.

“The favor. I’m calling it in.”

“What?! Here?! NOW!? You got to be kidding!”

“I kid about a lot of things.” Finnrick admitted “but not this.”

“We’re standing outside the place I just robbed! This isn’t the time!”

“Yes it is.”

Caitlyn took a step back and cast a suspicious look at the private investigator “You were using me, weren’t you? You didn’t want to get your hands dirty so you let me borrow the wings so I can steal the thing for you!”

Finnrick shook his head.

“Don’t turn this around on me!” Caitlyn snarled

Finnrick answered simply “You were clearly better at locks and sneaking around than I am. I was actually having trouble figuring how to pull this off. Every option ended with a fight with Andor. That’s why I’m out here. Why I busted every cameras on the street and managed to keep the window open. To make sure you were okay.”

“Where even were you?!” Caitlyn tried in vain to recall seeing Finnrick on the street “it doesn’t matter! You want me to trust you?! Just like that?”

Finnrick sighed tiredly “Please angel I trust you.”

Caitlyn’s eyes went cold “That is your mistake, not mine.”

Finnrick stared back at her, his dark brown eyes warm and gentle “Trusting you is my choice. Breaking it lays entirely with you.”

Caitlyn felt the rage and distrust drain out of her and replaced with a tense exhaustion.

Angel. He had let her borrow the wings and while there was no way he’d let her keep them he did give it to her for a favor. A simple favor he promised.

She sighed in defeat “What’s the favor?”

“I need a paper from the stack.”

“And if I give it to you, will you let me go?” She asked, hating how weak and vulnerable she sounded.

“No” Finnrick spoke without hesitation.

Caitlyn's shoulders sagged with disappointment.

“I will protect you.”

Caitlyn couldn’t help but stare at Finnrick: His face was scrunched up in a rather cute sense of determination and his body was relaxed. It was clear he was trying to be as nonthreatening as possible and despite her recent outburst, he seemed more concern with her than himself.

When was the last time someone offered to protect her? Granted she didn’t need any but even Caitlyn had to admit it was nice to hear.

They stood there for a moment, the angry shouts and cursing of Andor and his thugs breaking the silence of the night.

“Which paper is it?”

“It’ll be a single sheet with some fancy silvery writing on it.”

It took her no time to find it: It was thicker than all the others, written on some ancient paper that was aged yellow with time but was otherwise intact. The shining silvery writing was indeed fancy but nearly impossible to make out. She could actually feel her eyes water just looking at it and she wasted no time shoving it into Finn’s hand.

“There!” Caitlyn cast a nervous glance towards the third floor window “I kept my end. Now keep yours. Please.”

Finnrick said nothing. He instead tucked the loose paper inside his coat and offered a hand to her.

Confused but running out of options, she gingerly took his hand in hers. She flushed at how warm he was. Caitlyn let out a yelp as Finnrick pulled her in. She tried to keep her cheeks from turning a lovely shade of red when Finnrick held her close.

Finnrick began chanting, his hands drawing unseen symbols in the air. Caitlyn could feel the same warm sensation from earlier wash over her as Finnrick’s spell took effect.

-----

“FIND MY STUFF NOW!” Andor screamed with bloody rage. He was typical of an elf: Impossible well kept blonde hair that flowed to his back, piercing forest green eyes. He was tall and lean with the tackiest suit anyone had seen. Reds and pinks in some sort plaid pattern. He called it looking good. His goons called it a headache. His pointed ears twitch unhappily as he struggled to listen for any sort of sound nearby but found nothing beyond the usual quiet hum of the city.

Andor groaned unhappily as he made his way to the window. His eyes scanned the street with a clarity not even the most technologically advance camera could match. His elf eyes took in every detail through the shadows: every imperfect scratch on the brick buildings, the asphalt embedded with the grooves of tires, cracked sidewalks that spread out like bolts of lightning.

Nothing. Not a single soul was in sight. The silhouetted street was bare and empty.

“FUCK!” Andor screamed into the silence “FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT! FIND THEM NOW! CHECK THE FRONT DOOR CAMERA!”

“We can’t boss, it was fried yesterday, remember?”

Andor shut the window with a violent thud.

-----

Caitlyn let out the tense sigh she hadn’t realized she had been holding in.

She instinctively looked towards Finnrick only to find empty air.

“We’ll have to be invisible a little longer. They’ll be searching the shop before they think to start fanning outside. Andor will be making the process longer. Let’s get to the end of the street and I’ll drop it then.”

Caitlyn nodded for a moment before realizing he couldn’t see her

He guided her arm into his and the pair briskly walked down the street. It felt weird to walk invisible, arm in arm, while a childish elf baby raged behind them.

When they reached the end of the street, Finnrick dropped the spell. The two reappeared as quickly as they’d vanished. Caitlyn pulled away from the detective, her body shivering from the sudden lack of warmth.

“Thank you.” Caitlyn murmured softly.

Finnrick tipped his fedora “Any time sweetie.”

“What now?”

Finnrick scratched his chin thoughtfully “It is late and staying here would be a terrible idea. I suspect we both have places to be.”

Finnrick reached into his pocket and held out a piece of paper for Caitlyn to take. She stared at it, unsure what he was offering.

“It’s my fence.” He clarified with a smile “I take it you don’t know a magical one. He’s very trustworthy and he’ll give you a fair price.”

“Thanks” she took the slip of paper “I….thank you.”

“Any time. Good night angel.”

“Wait!” She reached for him but drew back when he turned to face her ���Your hairclip? The one you let me borrow?”

Finnrick’s eyes twinkled with amusement “You didn’t hear me, did you? I told you that’s yours.”

Caitlyn could hear her heart thundering in her ears, cheeks ablaze “You sure? It seems like it costed a pretty penny.”

“Pretty amount of gold.” Finnrick corrected with a wink “And I’m pretty sure. I made it for you.”

“Why?” The question slipped out of her mouth “Why me? You barely know me.”

“Not true.” Finnrick nervously bit his lip “You barely know me. I’ve been waiting for you forever now. About five yearsin fact.”

“Me?” Her blush worsened “I don’t understand.”

“You will.”

Finnrick took her hand in his once more and softly kissed it. Caitlyn could feel a flutter of butterflies fill her stomach.

He hesitated to break his hold on her but he did so respectfully. Caitlyn could see his cheeks tinged with a pinkish hue as he began walking away.

Caitlyn stood there and watched the detective vanish into the night.

-----

Okay, so she didn’t just stand there dumbfounded as Finnrick walked away. It was probably a terrible idea and definitely not normal Caitlyn behavior but she followed him.

It wasn’t too hard given her newfound verticality. She just waited a few minutes, noted the direction he was heading and flew over the rooftops. Finnrick didn’t seem to be aware he was being followed. He walked the darken streets of Newton Haven, gesturing to the odd person or mythical being cloak in the darkness. His pace was casual and unsuspecting.

Her concerns about running out of time were unfounded as about 30 minutes later, Finnrick ducked into a fairly decent apartment complex. It was better kept than hers but only by a fraction.

A dark apartment on the third floor was suddenly flooded with light as Finnrick Drift made his way inside. He hung his coat and fedora at a coat rack that stood by the door. The apartment was itself humble: he had a battered desk placed by the window, his tiny kitchen was on one side and the door to his bedroom on the other. There was a large file cabinet next to a battered, ancient fridge. Not the place of a well paid private investigator.

Finnrick sighed tiredly as he rolled up his sleeves. The way his body hunched over with the slow debilitate movements he made, it was obvious he must’ve been exhausted. But whatever he was up to must’ve been important because he began drawing on his lovely wooden floor.

Caitlyn couldn’t really guess what the detective was doing beyond the shape he was making: There was a large outer circle and a much smaller one within. An array of symbols were drawn between the two circles such as stars, a crescent moon, squiggles shaped like trees with a language she didn’t understand.

It didn’t take Finnrick long to finish. He stood at full height, wiping the sweat from his brow as he reached into his pocket and pulled a baggie. Carefully, he opened the bag and pulled out a sliver thread that seemed to shine even at this distance. He placed it within the smaller circle and outstretched a hand like he was grasping at something. His eyes, normally a warm dark brown, glowed with blue arcane power. Magical symbols formed before him and the building groaned and creaked like the mere presence of magic commanded it to speak. He lit a match, his lips moving more and more wildly yet no sound could be heard from within. Finnrick closed his hand into a fist and the symbols sunk into the circle. He flung the match onto the sliver thread and the entire glyph blazed with fire for moment. There was a flash of a brilliant light and the circle had vanished only to be replaced by some strange figure.

She was much taller than Finn, so tall in fact the top of her head nearly scraped the bottom of the next floor up. Her hair was wispy, thin threads of sliver that reached to the bottom of her feet. Her skin was pale like moonlight and two dark sunken pits formed her eyes. Her frame was lanky and unnatural like someone had pulled and stretch her into her current form. Her clothes were torn and ragged.

The figure tiled her head curiously at Finnrick who dug into his pocket and pulled out the yellowed paper Caitlyn had given him. The figure was dumbstruck as Finnrick handed it to her with a warm smile. He offered a match to the creature but she shook her head. She gingerly held the paper in her hand, staring at it like was about to vanish into thin air.

Then she ripped it. She tore at it with a fierce, terrifying frenzy. She ripped and ripped and ripped until impossibly small bits of paper rained across the apartment. Caitlyn leaned closer as previously unseen shackles formed upon the figure’s wrist and cracked wide open. They slipped off and vanished into the air.

The figure let out a manic laugh as she shrunk, her limbs realigning themselves until she looked like a proper human sized person only a head taller than Finnrick. Her thin wispy hair fattened to thick, full braids of metallic silver. Her skin remained pale but her dark sunken eyes turned a coal black, full of life and joy. Even her clothes had transformed into a splendid elegant dress that sparkled like stars.

She cried, clear streams of water running down her face as she held Finnrick’s hands tightly. She wailed and shook, unable to keep her emotions in any longer. Finnrick let her, giving only a satisfied grin in response. She handed him a handful of gold, 3 maybe 4 pieces and began patting her dress as if looking for more. Finnrick stopped her, pocketing the gold and shaking his head no. The creature was not satisfied by this and began to gesture wildly about. Finnrick remained steadfast. He gestured to himself, lips speaking but Caitlyn couldn’t read whathe was mouthing this far away. The figure said nothing as a small child matching her skin tone appeared from out of nowhere. The child gestured to his wrist excitedly though nothing was there. The figure scooped the child in her arm and gently kissed his forehead. She glanced to Finnrick and was gone. A gentle warm breeze sailed past Caitlyn’s hidden spot, dispelling the frigid 2 a.m. air.

Finnrick chuckled to himself and despite on the verge of collapsing, made his way to the kitchen. He remained there for a few minutes and reemerged with a steaming cup of those instant noodles found at the store. He made his way over to the window and lifted it open. He placed the foam cup on the fire escape and hastily wrote a note which he folded carefully next to the food.

And with his job seemingly done, he made turned off the lights with a flourish of his hand and made his way to his bedroom. He closed the door and did not reappear.

Caitlyn flew over with the few minutes she had left in her wings. She picked up the cup of ramen, contently sighing with its warmth. She grabbed the note and read it aloud, curious what Finnrick wrote.

Caitlyn felt a chill of run down her spine as she read “Hey! Noticed you watching me and given you didn’t try to attack me, I assumed you had your reasons. If you’re trying to track me for your boss, here’s your warning! I will destroy everything they hold dear. You possibly included. If you just were a person or fae that was just curious, have a warm meal on me! It’s cold out so bundle up. Have a good one and don’t touch the window. I am a powerful warder.” F- :)

Caitlyn couldn’t stop the grin from spreading across her lips as she saw the cute smiley Finnrick had ended the note with.

She held the cup close as she made her way to street level. Finnrick told her she’d understand in time. She wished she understood now but she shocked to find herself more than willing to find out.

[ditttiii]

Finding Me Through You (Part 2)

A Jungkook x Reader Two-shot

Genre: Angst // comfort (soft) // romance // strangers to friends to lovers // a hybrid AU // college AU // 

Warnings: maybe a curse word?

Rating: PG-13

Word count: 4929 for the series. 3400 for this part.

PART ONE (1)

Summary:   You lose yourself to the feeling of having the man you love, kiss you and it feels like a homecoming. It feels like having the stars align perfectly, it feels like having your world tilt back on its axis. It feels like magic, joy—love.

OR

Jeon Jungkook. The campus heartthrob. Captain of the football team. High School Prom King. Teacher’s favourite. Student body favourite. Anyone, and everyone’s favourite. This is the story of how you went from strangers to best friends to finally lovers and if in the way you somehow found yourself? well that was just a bonus.

Nearly six months have passed since you first met Jungkook. You were still a little shy and quiet, but with Jungkooks' help and his constant support and soft reassurances, you had slowly started to come out of your shell. You were in no way shape or form anything like Jungkook was, but you also weren't the doormat that you used to be, and for that you were thankful. 

You hear the sound of approaching footsteps and before you can turn to take a look, an arm is suddenly over your shoulders pulling you closer into someone's side.

You let out a quiet 'umph' and push your hair back from your eyes, craning your neck up and shooting a glare as your eyes catch that of your best friends. 

Jungkook in response only grins wider, ruffling your hair as his hand finds its way to your scalp. With a squeal, you duck and try to push him away, the sound of your laughter ringing in the air like wind chimes in a breeze. 

"Stop! Kook, I swear—Eeepppp!" Your warning is cut off as Jungkook moves his hand from your shoulders to your waist and pulls you closer. Your body slams into his and the breath gets knocked out of you from the impact. You blush as you feel his solid, corded muscles from even under the layers of both your hoodies. 

It was no secret that your best friend was hot—ridiculously hot, you have always known that. Even in the past when you two had been barely acquaintances at best and strangers at worst, you knew he was hot. But the only difference between now and then was that you didn't care before. However, now as you feel his warmth seep into you from between the layers of your clothes, you can't not care. You avert your eyes from his and scratch your ear, casually pulling your strands free from behind where they were tucked and create a curtain of hair over your flaming red cheeks. 

You hear Jungkook laugh at your attempt at ignoring him and feel as he leans down to leave a soft peck on your head. The feel of his full, soft, lips tangible, and real even through the many strands of hair in between.

Sometimes you think Jungkook is the best thing that has ever happened to you, while other times you think your friendship is like a rose, lined with thorns unseen from a distance. Thorns that were your feelings for him, the same feelings which while you couldn't see in the past, now you were fully aware of. The constant prick of them is a presence in your heart both comforting and not.

"What's your next class?" You ask in an attempt to distract him and his attention away from you. It works as you see Jungkook tilt his head to the side and squint into the distance. Deep in his thoughts, as he tries to remember his schedule. 

You think it's unfair how good looking your best friend is, how ridiculously, unfairly good looking he is. His eyes, a soft shade of brown that are always warm when looking back into yours, are big and doe-like, forever curious and inviting. Sometimes, you think if you look into them long enough you'll drown in their depths. You'll drown and never find your way back and then you wouldn't want to because you like being lost more, and—that, That scares you. 

It scares you so much because you have never felt so strongly before. So powerfully that, it's like every single cell in your body calls out for Jungkook, longs for his presence more than it wishes for water or air. Your feelings have never been so consumingly deep—true and as your eyes track the way your best friend's lips move as he talks, you think maybe you never will again. Not after him.

And somewhere deep in your heart, something twinges painfully at the realization that this is it for you. You will forever be that girl in love with her best friend, the one whose love was, in the end, left unreciprocated. 

You snap your gaze away from Jungkook and to the hallway in front of you, as your eyes burn with repressed unshed tears. Tears that you will never let fall, because you would rather choose death over letting Jungkook feel guilt for your feelings.

However, as his hand makes its way back to your waist, the burn grows stronger, the sting in your throat, sharper as you try to ignore the way your heart races, the way the skin under his hand tingles and instead fake a laugh, forcing a normal facade over your longing heart as you continue to pretend like every second of having him close but not yours wasn't slowly killing you. 

You groan as you shift your bag higher up your shoulders, the strain, an annoyance that you hadn't expected to feel in college. 

'What's the point of passing out from high school if the textbooks are just going to get thicker and more unbearable?' You think to yourself as you make your way across the campus, to your next class. 

As you walk by the cafeteria on your way, from the corner of your eyes you see a group huddled around the edge of the cafeteria. You raise your eyebrows when you see just who is in the centre of that group.  

'Ha Rin' your brain supplies in helpfully and you slow your steps, curious to see what Jungkook's ex-girlfriend has been up to, since their breakup last week. They hadn't dated for too long, maybe two weeks. When you look back at it, you don't think that in the time that you have known Jungkook, you have ever seen him date anyone for more than a month. 

It was something that confused you at the start, the boy who had stepped up to defend you— a virtual stranger, was actually a player? It had been months since that realization on your part and while you have slowly come to accept that dating was just Jungkooks’ way of living, it always caught you a little by surprise hearing about another one of his breakups. 

In some ways, it was a reminder that he would pick every other single girl in college before he'd ever consider dating you, and 'Even then he'll probably choose not to date instead', you think annoyed and a little jealous. 

You don't have to look too hard to see what Jungkook must have seen in her. She was undeniably gorgeous, her hair was long and lustrous, her smile wide and beaming. It wasn't hard to see why most guys in your college wanted her, while most girls wanted to be her. You look at the way she throws her head back when she laughs and feel a stab of jealousy run through you at the realisation that, no you'll never be that graceful. 

Tamping down the green, ugly feeling in your stomach, you move to walk away from the group. Hurrying past the group in the cafeteria, you walk as quickly as you can to your next class, but before you can leave the cafeteria, you catch a part of their conversation that makes you pause. 

"—ugh, seriously I don't know who Jungkook thinks he is but I would never let a guy cheat on me and then continue to date me. I mean can you believe the audacity of that guy, sleeping around with other girls while he's in a relationship with me?! No wonder he's as popular as he is, whoring around through half the college will obviously do that for you. He's honestly disgusting, and I am so glad I broke up with him coz like ugh, walking STD much?" 

Your eyes widen as you hear that and register the voice of the speaker as Ha Rin in your brain. Your hands' clench and your claws feel sharp, as your usual iron-clad hold over your anger slowly starts to slip, the more you hear her talk. 

She was talking—lying, about the man you were in love with, the man who had painstakingly taken care of you for the past six months, the man who had pulled you out from your own shadow, the man who had held you close and rocked you to sleep as your tears soaked through his shirt on nights when you couldn't even bring yourself to breathe through your tears and snot—too disgusted by your skin. 

Jungkook had made you fall in love with yourself, just as much as he had made you fall in love with him. Your best friend was many things, but a cheater he was not. 

Blinded by anger and fueled by your newly discovered protective instincts, you march over to their table. Your feet slap hard against the pavement and the sound of you walking, resounds through the cafeteria like an ominous warning before an approaching storm. 

-SLAM-

Your palm comes crashing down, over the surface of the table Ha Rin was sitting on as your gaze locks with hers. Her eyes widen and you lean in closer, the blood in your veins thrumming with anger and your breaths coming out in tiny angry huffs. Your hybrid instincts take over as they shift to protect what you consider family, and you let your eyes turn into slits, menacing, dark, and beyond furious. 

"I am sorry, I don't think, I heard you right, did you say Jungkook was a cheater?" You ask in a deceptively calm voice and the table under your hand creeks, as you lean in closer to her. Your lips pull back in a snarl as you ask that and you can practically sniff the fear oozing off her as your eyes track the movement in her throat, hear the sound of her gulping. 

While Ha Rin was gorgeous, stunning, and elegant in ways you would never be, you were strong, sharp, and lethal, in ways she—a gazelle hybrid would never be. 

You pause, watch her pupils shake, track the drops of perspiration across her forehead, and wait for her to answer. After a few minutes of stunned silence pass, you lean back a little as your eyes glance over everyone gathered. 

Once you are sure that everyone's attention is on you, you growl out, voice still low but not any less menacing, "Jeon Jungkook is not a cheater. Never was and never will be, and anyone pathetic and desperate enough, to be making up lies like that about him, will be answering to me, and I assure you that I won't be so nice next time."

For the first time ever as you leave a stunned, scared crowd behind in your wake, you feel proud. While you might never be Jungkooks' girlfriend, you were his best friend, and to you, that matters more in all the ways that count. 

Your face feels flushed and your legs feel like Jelly as you walk out of your last period class. Your sudden bout of bravery hadn't quite fully sunk in until you were sitting in your class surrounded by your classmates, most of whom were giving you varying looks ranging from scared, to awed, to impressed? 

This feeling of being seen is foreign to you. While your popularity has definitely soared ever since you had started hanging out with Jungkook, it was never because of you or anything you did. You were just Jeon Jungkooks’ best friend. 

But this time, it's different. 

People are looking at you, seeing you for who you are, and not just as someone's best friend. It is a novel, foreign feeling—one that you haven't felt before, but also one that when you think about it, you would like to feel more often.  

You let out a giggle as you think that, your cheeks still flushed, feel warm as you look up at the clear, blue sky. The late afternoon breeze feels cool on your skin as you stroll through the campus grounds, a mile-long grin stretched across your face.

"Y/N!!!"

Before you can turn to greet him back, he is slamming into you, and the breath leaves your body—again. 

"Dammit, Kook! You seriously need to stop doing that before you dislocate my spine, you freaking giant of a human" You playfully grumble as you push Jungkook away with a soft huff and push your hair back, wincing a little when your feet still feel a little unsteady. 

"Are you kidding me right now, woman?" You hear Jungkook speak and then you are in his arms, your feet off the ground as he holds you up high and all you can do is squeal in surprise. 

"The hell Kook! Put me down! What's gotten into you?" You question, your voice shrill and surprised as you wrap your arms around his neck. The thickly corded muscles of his shoulder feel bunched under your grip, and it takes every ounce of self-control that you have, to not blush.

You look down when he doesn't answer and freeze, too lost in your thoughts and worries about blushing, you hadn't noticed how close you two were before. 

But now as you look into Jungkooks’ twinkling, deep, brown chocolate eyes, see the small mole under his rosy lower lip, feel the small, warm puffs of his breath on your face, you realize just how close your faces are. 

Your breathing goes shallow as your eyes flicker all over his face, trying to capture every single detail—from the scar on his cheek to his fuller lower lip, you trace every single feature of his, your actions seemingly beyond your control. 

When your eyes finally snap back to his, you see him already looking back at you, his eyes soft and brimming with fondness, and you don't know—don't understand why.

"Wh-what is this about?" You ask softly, not wanting to break whatever spell has been cast, whatever bubble, the two of you have built. 

Jungkook hums, the sound coming from somewhere deep in his chest, echoing and flowing into you, from where you are pressed tight close to him.

His eyes search yours and yours shy away, flicker down to his throat where you see his Adam's apple bob, as he swallows and suddenly you feel parched. 

"You fought for me." He states, and your eyes snap back over to his. 

"Huh?" You reply back incoherently as your thoughts feel fuzzy and unclear, so close to him. 

"At the cafeteria, you fought with Ha Rin for me, defended my honour. Why? You don't like confrontations, why did you do it then?" Jungkook asks as he slowly lowers you back to the ground, your chests brush against each other, not a sliver of space between the two of you and your hands unconsciously grip his shoulders tighter, too afraid to let go and somehow lose this closeness. 

You try to think through the fog in your mind to find out what Jungkook is talking about. 

However, your remembrance of the scene from the cafeteria earlier serves as a bucket of ice-cold water being poured over you, and you are snapping back to reality, stumbling away from him as your cheeks flush and your heart races. You suddenly wish to run far, far away. Avoid this conversation, as all your bravado from earlier slips and flows down the metaphorical drain, leaving you feeling vulnerable, naked. 

'Stupid. Stupid! How are you going to explain that, you idiot?' your panicked brain supplies before continuing, 'As if having feelings for your best friend wasn't bad enough already, now him and probably the entire university knows about it too.' 

You try to create some distance between the two of you, but before you can move too far Jungkooks’ hand wraps around your wrist and pulls you closer to him. Your sweaty, cold hand leeches away at his warmth as you try not to make eye contact with him, your hope is to be subtle, but you don't think you are.

"Hey, listen to me," He says and grabs your chin softly, turning your face closer to him as his thumb absently rubs over the cleft in your chin. The feel of his calloused thumb over the soft skin of your chin has your face bursting in colour as your pulse rises embarrassingly fast.

You try to mumble out a 'yes', but it sounds incoherent even to your ears, and so you clear your throat and try again, voicing out a soft 'yeah' instead. It isn't much of an improvement, but you also can't bring yourself to articulate better and so you just force your eyes to meet Jungkooks’ and hope that he understands.

Thankfully, he does and then proceeds to take the lead. 

"Hey, it's alright okay? I am not mad or angry or whatever it is that you think I am feeling in that head of yours" He says, tapping your temple softly to emphasise his point and then continues, "I think what you did today was brave, admirable and badass!" At this he grins and gives you a little shake until you finally let out a smile off your own slip and snort out a soft "dork" under your breath.

"I am proud of you." 

Your eyes soften as you hear that and you feel your eyes burn again with unshed tears. 

You let your eyes lock with Jungkooks and feel as his grip over your chin loosens and both his hands, travel to your cheeks, finally curling around your jaw and cradling your face, his fingers slipping behind your ears and softly caressing the sensitive skin there.

The feel of his hands splayed over your skin like that, so soft, so gentle—as though you are an invaluable porcelain doll, has tears springing to your eyes. 

Tiny, warm, tear droplets pool out of your eyes and slip down your cheeks. 

The sight of your tears has Jungkook tightening his grip on you, his face inching closer to yours as your hands find their way to his hoodie, grasping the material and fisting it. 

"I love you," You tell him, tired of keeping your feelings to yourself, you finally let them out. Let your lips form the words, your heart feels every time he is close to you, every time he looks at you as though you are his entire world. 

Maybe you are deluding yourself, imagining things you want, wishing for things that aren't there. But as you look back into Jungkooks’ eye, see them still softened, warm, gentle and brimming with love, you think maybe you're not. Maybe, just maybe, your best friend is in love with you too. 

You inch closer, hesitant but assured by the knowledge that Jungkook hadn't yet pushed you away either. 

You move an inch and Jungkook moves two, the two of you closing the space between together. Symbolic of how your relationship works, how the two of you always stand for each other, protecting, caring—loving, the other. 

Your lips touch his and the first caress, leaves a shiver down your spine. The feel of his full, soft lip is like paradise between your lips. The feeling, everything that you had hoped, dreamed of and more. 

His arms wrap around your waist and bring you closer until there isn't a hairsbreadth of space between you two.Your lips move against each other, full of pecks, soft bites, tongue, lust and love.

Pulling back away from you, he looks into your eyes and you no longer see a boy or a man. No, you see your entire world, your rock, the being your very soul is in love with. 

And then he says, "I love you too" and it's perfect. This moment the two of you have created—magical, surreal, beautiful and oh so perfect. 

You laugh and it comes out sounding wobbly. You think you might be crying but then you look at Jungkook and he is crying, and you think it's okay, and then you kiss him again. Your cheeks touch and his tears mix with yours and it feels like nirvana. 

You lose yourself to the feeling of having the man you love, kiss you and it feels like a homecoming. It feels like having the stars align perfectly, it feels like having your world tilt back on its axis. It feels like magic, joy—love.

A/N: 💖

[slimepuparibaba]

Starconches and Windwheel Asters | Chapter 1: A Bet Sealed

In which Childe and Lumine have a talk on the beach and make a bet...

Okay, I am so sorry in advance, but this one is painstakingly long. I sincerely did not mean for it to be this long, but it's hopefully fluffy enough to make up for it. These first few chapters are going to need fluff. And... and I mean it. Seriously. Childe might seem a little OOC and all over the place, as will this chapter. Hopefully, I managed to capture how scattered Childe's thoughts are. Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Full fic below the cut!

Masterlist -> Next

You can also read this fanfic on AO3!

"Hey, girlie, hold still!"

Those first four words made Lumine's heart thump in her chest.

She will never forget the day she met that Harbinger, the one she was supposed to call her enemy. His codename was Tartaglia, though he went by Childe. He was cunning, bold, and sly. The first day they met, Childe wasn't hesitant to reveal his intentions to her and Paimon. He was here on Fatui business, to fulfill the will of the Tsaritsa.

Even then, Lumine fell.

It wasn't a subtle type of thing, either. Everyone who traveled by Lumine's side noticed that, as soon as she returned to the inn they were staying in, she was giggling to herself... almost on cloud nine.

Kaeya was one of the first to notice it. He had left Mondstadt to ensure Lumine safe travels throughout Teyvat; and, since there was no calvary to be the captain of with the Knights, he wasn't exactly "needed", per se. Besides, Jean and Diluc were still there; surely, the Dandelion Knight and the Darknight Hero would be able to take care of any issues.

Kaeya could easily see through Lumine. He was there when the encounter between Lumine and Childe first occurred. As soon as the ginger gestured her to follow, the knight could tell how smitten Lumine was. And, while the one she happened to fall for was a Fatui, Kaeya wasn't entirely against it. He was glad to see her mind taken off the whereabouts of her brother, after all.

Barbara was the second. She was one of the members of the team to easily read the faces of everyone, whether they seem troubled or happy, or in this case, madly in love. She was hesitant that Childe was the one to sweep Lumine off her feet, but the nun shrugged it off and decided to support Lumine.

Whenever the young Harbinger was spotted nearby and approached Lumine, Barbara and Kaeya weren't hesitant to push her towards the object of her affections. They gave subtle tips, hoping the Traveler would catch on and at least attempt to make a move.

Of course, though, Lumine's comrades weren't the only ones to notice.

Childe was, of course, very aware of the Outlander's affection towards him. In fact, he somewhat formulated it. He heard of the "new girl" in Teyvat who saved Mondstadt and learned she was heading towards Liyue. Since he was already stationed there for the Rite of Descension, he decided that it was best to gain the trust of her and her acquaintances before pulling the rug out from underneath them when the time was right.

He had done this before. He would make many swoon for him and gain the information, or the Mora, that he needed. After all, he was Tartaglia, the 11th Harbinger. This kind of work was as natural to him as breathing was.

Thus, he decided to pull the strings on this strange yet powerful visitor...

"Running... errands?" Lumine asked.

"Yup! Exactly that." The ginger teen was leaning against the bar the inn had owned, his blue eyes filled with playfulness. "I've seen how your little tour group over here is faring, and I couldn't help but notice the lack of ingredients and materials you have in that inventory of yours." When he said that, he gestured towards Paimon, glancing at the floating being. Everyone else did the same, glaring at the mascot.

"Hey! What did Paimon do?!" She squealed.

"You ate most of the Sunsettias in the middle of the night?" Amber said.

"You also used our Mora to buy an entire feast for yourself..." Noelle added.

"Paimon, maybe Lumine was right... maybe it's time you become emergency food." Beidou finished chugging one of her jugs of alcohol, slamming it onto the table next to her, and smiling almost wickedly at Paimon.

Paimon was in the midst of a panic, waving her arms around. "No, no! P-Paimon meant to share it with everyone! Really! Honest! P-p-pinkie promise!" At that, Childe let out a hearty laugh.

"Well, as you can see, your team is desperate for some supplies." He looked back at Lumine, who was watching the fiasco take place directly in front of her. She was giggling at the scene, and the sound of that laughter slightly made the Harbinger's heart flutter.

I'm sorry, my heart did what? Childe tried to snap himself out of it. We're here on a mission. We have to find the Gnosis and hand it over to the Tsaritsa... this is just the usual seduction routine we've used before. Stay on track, Tartaglia!

He cleared his throat, continuing. "So, ojou-chan..." He leaned closer to the girl, flashing that signature smile that he always wore. He could tell Lumine was swooning just from the slight red that started spreading on the tips of her ears. "...how about it? You and I can round up some food. After all, I do have lots of Mora, and you are the team's leader. You should know what everyone wants." The blonde started to ponder on it, weighing her options carefully. "Oh, and you need to ditch the small child."

"HEY!"

Paimon let out a loud yelp, taking offense to the last-minute comment that Childe tacked on to his proposition. She angrily huffed, looking to Lumine and telling her to turn down Childe's offer, because it was "not fair to Paimon" and Childe was "super untrustworthy". The ginger reiterated his proposal, putting extra emphasis on the "ditch Paimon" condition, and Lumine had her mind made up.

"Alright. I should be fine around three."

"LUMINE!"

Paimon continued to throw a hissy fit, whining about how she has to come with Lumine because, without her help, Lumine wouldn't be able to hold the food. Even then, Lumine still confirmed that she made up her mind.

This was working smoothly for Childe. He would be able to get Lumine, the foolish girl, alone. No Paimon or teammate could get in between the two of them. He would easily be able to squeeze out all of the information he needed. And, if the time came, maybe the two of them could've even had a sparring match. Oh, how fired up he was just to cross blades with the Traveler.

However, he then realized that it wasn't up to just Lumine to make this decision...

"Alone? With a Fatui?" Amber spoke up, having an obvious opposition to this outing. "Traveler, with all due respect, you may be the Honorary Knight, but he's a Harbinger! You can't trust him that easily. Remember what happened with the Fatui in Mondstadt?"

Lumine looked up at the Pyro Archer and smiled nervously, correcting her statement. "I mean... if we are being technical here, it was mostly the Abyss that was involved with the Stormterror issue."

"And Venti?" The girl responded, crossing her arms. "You told me that La Signora harmed him pretty bad. Signora is also a Harbinger. I don't know what she did to Venti," Amber said, crossing her arms and standing firm, "but I know that it was bad. All Fatui are the same, especially when it comes to the Harbingers. You can't trust them--especially not one like this guy." She glared at Childe, who just flashed a smile her way.

Childe was used to this by now. When he first got promoted to being a Harbinger, everyone that used to be close to him stood far away. Not even his fellow Harbingers could trust them--in the Fatui, you had to learn to trust no one but yourself. Because the Fatui was a place for those who were used to scheming and lying for the sake of the Tsaritsa. That was what he signed up for, anyway.

The archer continued, suggesting that Lumine at least take someone with her, or let them tag along from behind. She claimed it was safer that way so that Childe wouldn't try any "funny business." "You can take Kaeya with you, or even Lisa," she suggested. "Anyone would be fine... just please, don't go on your own with him."

"Well..." The Traveler looked around at the people who were gathered near her. They all seemed to be nodding their heads in agreement, and she felt the atmosphere became much tenser than it was minutes before. "...um, if that's the case, then--"

"Actually!"

One person raised their hand from amidst the group. The Calvary Captain himself, Kaeya, stood up from his seat and approached Lumine from behind, patting her on the shoulder.

"Lumine is more capable than we would like to think. I think she'll be fine," the blue-haired man stated. He made it clear to Lumine that he was on her side--he already knew of her little "crush", anyway, and was willing to play the wingman. "She's strong enough to defeat Stormterror. Who's to say that she can't deal with one lousy Harbinger?" Kaeya chuckled, turning to the rest of his friends and teammates. From the crowd, another figure emerged, standing right beside Lumine.

"Mhm! I think she'll be fine, too!" Barbara clung onto Lumine's arm, backing up Kaeya's stance on the matter. "She's able to harness both Anemo and Geo now, and she's already proven how strong she is in Mondstadt! I know she'll be okay!" The two Mondstadt citizens glanced at each other, nodding their heads in mutual agreement. Truly, those two were on the same wavelength.

"But... but Paimon doesn't trust him!" Paimon shouted out, zooming across the room and staring Childe right in the eyes. "You can see it in his eyes... yeah, like Kaeya said! His eyes... they're suspicious!" Ironically enough, Kaeya pushed Paimon away from Childe, gesturing her to back down.

Kaeya and Barbara gave Lumine the thumbs up, almost as if to say that they would take care of the others and that it was best for the two of them to be on their way. So, catching onto their cue, Lumine coughed and looked up at Childe.

"W-well, n-now that I think of it," she stuttered, trying to smoothly change the topic. "I just realized that I am... not busy right now?" She tilted her head towards the exit to the inn, and Childe smiled softly. He understood clearly.

"Ah... then, shall we head out?" The ginger offered his arm to the girl, and she took it with glee. "Well, then, I'll be taking oujo-chan out now!"

"Bring her back home before dinner!" Beidou called out, gaining a chuckle from Childe. "Or else..."

"Yeah, yeah! I hear ya, Miss Pirate," he laughed. Looking down at the blonde, he smiled. "Now then, shall we get going, Miss?"

Oh, dear Archons, his smile was enough to make Lumine die and revive on the spot. Forget Mora Meat or Qingce Stir Fry--if Childe smiled at her like that, she would instantly have buffs and infinite health restoration!

Slowly melting from his charms, Lumine nodded.

"Yeah...! Let's go!"

Liyue Harbor is a beautiful place.

Childe knew this, considering he had been there for a while. And yet, for some reason, just walking along the beachside with Lumine made its beauty all the more noticeable.

He was able to finally get the Traveler all to himself, and seeing how easily she went with him, squeezing information out of her should be easy. He was slightly disappointed, though. Considering her title as the "Honorary Knight of Mondstadt", he was expecting her guard to be a bit higher. And yet, she came willingly without any additional convincing. How he so wished for her to put up more of a fight...

Lumine, however, noticed Childe's watchful eye on her. She ran ahead and bent down, digging into the sand beneath her. Her intentions weren't exactly clear until she gently cradled a small shell in her hands.

It was a starconch.

The blonde looked back up at her acquaintance and smiled. It was one of the goofiest grins anyone could ever have seen. She seemed almost proud of it like she needed praise for digging up such a small shell.

"Well, now," Childe teased, "must I give you a gold star for digging this up?" He was slightly amused at her actions and wasn't sure what she wanted to do with the shell. "What? Does this ojou-chan want to build a sandcastle?" Childe kneeled and leaned in closer, peeking over Lumine's shoulder. He's done this before--it's just the normal routine. He'll tease them with the possibility of a kiss and then treat them to dinner, before gaining every possible piece of information he co--

"It's for you, actually!"

...I'm sorry, it's for what now?

Lumine giggled, grabbing Childe's hand and placing the small starconch in his. Man, her hands are small, Childe realized. She's only two years younger and yet she's so tiny... so tiny that it's kind of cute...

Wait, cute? No. Not cute! Snap out of it, Childe! You're a Harbinger! What are you doing, falling for the one who's supposed to be doing the falling?!

In an attempt to ignore the feelings plaguing his heart, he cleared his throat and asked, "For me? Your enemy?" He held it up to the sunlight, inspecting it further. "Hm... and, what exactly is your intent with this, Traveler?"

Lumine brushed a stray hair behind her ear and smiled. "Well, I just wanted to give you a present. I can do that, can't I?" Once more did she flash that small grin of hers, piercing Childe through the heart. He even dropped the starconch into his lap when she did that, causing Lumine to giggle even more.

Okay, so maybe she's cute. Fine. She wins that.

"That, and..." The girl looked out to the seaside, watching the waves meet with the sand before retreating away. "...I'm not dumb, you know." Without looking Childe in the eye, she stated ever so calmly, "I know you want information."

Shit. I got caught.

So, this Outlander isn't as dumb as Childe initially believed. Good. That made the challenge all the more fun to him, after all. If it was to be easy, it practically felt wrong and would've been much more boring.

The ginger smirked, taking a seat right next to Lumine on the sand, gazing at the ocean as well.

"Well, well. So, you caught me red-handed," he laughed. "What? Did you pull me over just for that, ojou-chan? Hm?" He glanced at the girl beside him, who was enjoying the calm sea breeze.

She looked quite beautiful in the sunlight, now that Childe thought about it. The sun reflected off her golden hair at just the right angle, and the way she seemed so calm was just something else to him.

"Not exactly," Lumine answered, snapping Childe out of his trance.

Seriously, stop daydreaming and focus, dammit!

Lumine continued, "Actually... I only agreed to come with you because I feel like I can change your mind about some things."

Oh? Change his mind? That was new.

"Change my mind? Hah, on what, girlie?" He scoffed, intrigued. "Being part of the Fatui?" Surprisingly, however, Lumine nodded her head. Childe stared at her for a second, astonished. They... they only just met? Why would she care about him being in the Fatui? "You're... you're joking, right?"

"Nope," Lumine stated, bluntly. "Not joking."

"..."

After a few seconds of silence, suddenly, the ginger started to burst out in laughter, clutching his stomach and rocking back and forth. To him, such an idea was so outlandish that he didn't expect this Outlander to even admit such a thing! Him? Leave the Fatui? That was such a stupid thought that even Childe wouldn't dream of pursuing such a path.

"L-Leave the... hahaha...! L-Leave the Fatu... Hahahaha!" The boy was practically cracking up, still in disbelief. "M-Man...! When did you become so funny, huh, ojou-chan?" He attempted to catch his breath, and yet, he kept laughing. He was in hysterics.

In response, though, Lumine shook her head. She stared directly at the Harbinger, resting her head on her knees. The look in her eyes told Childe the truth.

Lumine was definitely not kidding.

Childe ceased his laughter, an eyebrow raised in confusion and intrigue. What was the purpose of this, he wondered. Was Lumine that smitten that she believed she could reform Childe? That kind of plot-twist was one that was unimaginable to him, so that couldn't be it at all. Did she think that having Childe out of the Fatui would be beneficial to her? Now that option seemed much more plausible.

He sighed, lying down on the sand and looking up at the sky. "Really, now... this is one of the first times I've heard that in years. But..." He turned his head to look at Lumine, a slight chuckle in his voice as he softly smiled, "...I never expected it to be from you."

The girl picked back up the starconch that Childe had dropped onto the sand and placed it back into his hand once more. She curled his fingers up so that the shell wouldn't fall out of his grasp, and she gripped his hand in hers, nodding.

"Well, guess I'm full of surprises." This Traveler was somewhat unlike anything that the Harbinger was able to grasp, but he found that it just made things more interesting. "I... want to make a bet with you, actually."

"Oho, a bet, you say?" Childe sat up, leaning in closer. "Continue... I'd like to see what's on the line. Our lives? Dignity?"

"How about..." The girl started to trail off, looking away before snapping her fingers and glancing back at Childe. "...your title as Harbinger?"

Oh, so we're playing that game now.

"My title? As the 11th Harbinger? No, no, no... see, even if I did take you up on that offer," the ginger stated, before hastily adding, "Which I'm not if I need to make that clear..." He sighed, closing his eyes before continuing with his reasoning. "...I had to go through a lot of stuff just to get that title. There's nothing, and I mean nothing, that you could bet on that would match up with that."

"Well," she trailed off, looking down at her feet and tapping her boots together as if stalling. "...you're right. I have nothing to offer." She looked back out to the horizon, watching the sun slowly start its descent. "You're a Harbinger, and asking you to leave the Fatui isn't something I can just ask you to do."

"Exactly."

"And... I'm sure that you're convinced that we're enemies and that you'd never want to leave in the first place."

"Mhm. Right on point."

"But...!" Lumine tried to continue persuading him, and finally decided to reiterate, "You don't have to give it up if you don't want to by the time this whole thing is over." Childe became even more curious. By the time what is over? "I want to take you sightseeing around Liyue Harbor while we run errands."

Ah, so a date...

...wait, hold up, a date--?

Aren't we moving too fast? We literally just met! Should I even be doing this on duty? Wait, what am I saying?! I'm her enemy! Why am I worried about moving too fast? It's not like I want to... or... d-do I? Damn it, Childe, get your act together!

"And... this time..." The girl, while Childe was in the middle of his own internal monologue, continued with her proposition. "I want you to take a good look and see the people as what they are--people." She emphasized this point, losing the light-heartedness that was once in her tone. "Not as people you need to collect debt from, need to defeat, or need to conquer. Just... as people with families, with lives!" She looked at him with the most sincere gaze. Her amber eyes were sparkling with a glow that was drawing Childe in, almost convincing him--hypnotizing him--to accepting the deal.

Her eyes are actually really pretty now that I have a good look at them...

"I want you to see them as an average human being, just like you and me. If you can do that... then... at least consider leaving the Fatui. I'm not forcing you to leave, but I just want you to keep it in mind, okay, Childe?" When Lumine was finished with her speech, she noticed Childe was just staring at her blankly. It was almost as if he was in a trance, which was uncharacteristic of him. "Um... Childe?"

Were her eyes always that pretty? It's like looking at the sun, but...

"Childe?"

...why can't I look away?

"Childe!" Lumine called out, snapping him out of it. He jolted, just realizing he was in a daze. "Were you even listening to me?" Childe was about to lie and say he totally did until he saw Lumine's pouting face. Her cheeks were slightly puffed, her eyebrows furrowed, and yet she was incredibly...

Adorable.

"U-uh..." Holy fuck, she's cute.

"Hello~?" Lumine started to call out to Childe, waving her hand in front of his face. "Teyvat to Childe. Can you hear me?" Little did the Traveler know the number of jumbled thoughts going through Childe's head.

It was a mess in there. Mountains of gushing ramblings about her were starting to pile on top of each other with some logical part of Childe's conscious trying to compress them and hide them far away into the back of his mind. Even then, the loud thoughts kept bleeding through. He was starting to lose focus.

She's just so cute.

In fact, he was so broken that all that left his mouth were broken words and jumbled up sentences. "Um... sorry, what? I was... um... uh..."

Come up with an excuse, you dimwit! Don't make a fool of yourself! You know better than this!

"I was looking at that... o-other starconch!" Childe stammered, trying to search desperately for some convenient starconch that was placed out in the open. Sadly, he couldn't find one, so he just pointed in a direction, hoping Lumine wouldn't catch on to his poor acting skills. "Y-yeah! That starconch, haha! Over there!" Lumine was about to check in that direction, but Childe immediately tugged on her arm in hopes he wouldn't be exposed.

...wow, he thought, mentally facepalming. This is... a complete and utter trainwreck. Good going, Childe. Good. Fucking. Going.

The Traveler, realizing how off track he was, decided to cut him some slack and summarize it in a few short phrases. She sighed, saying, "Look, I just think you're not as bad as everyone thinks you are." She hugged her knees tighter to her chest, seeming quite sincere about such a concern. "You're a lot nicer than a lot of people would think you would be, even if you're a Fatui Harbinger... you just... need to learn to put down the act, you know?"

How would you know how nice I am? Childe began to wonder. For all you know, I could be deceiving you and ready to kill you at any moment. So why... why are you letting down your guard for such a flimsy hypothesis? Are you choosing to believe that I'm nice just because you've fallen for me? He scoffed, deciding to scold her for such an unusual mindset.

Ojou-chan, that's truly sweet of you, but being smitten for me doesn't change the fact that I'm your enemy...

"Even if you are my enemy..." Lumine responded, stopping Childe from continuing his internal narration.

Shit, did I just say that out loud?!

"I think you're... way too humane for me to brush off as a totally bad person," she explained before turning her head and smiling at him.

Did she just gloss over the whole 'smitten' part? God, why can't I think straight today?!

While she was definitely very pretty whenever she smiled, Childe's thoughts were all over the place that he was just picking out things that he probably shouldn't have been paying attention to. Truly, the Harbinger was completely off his game.

"Haha... hah... humane, you say?" He nervously chuckled, trying to regather his thoughts (as well as what little left of logical thinking he had). "Girlie, with all due respect, I'm a Fatui Harbinger. You know that I'm not here for good reasons, and yet, you still want to deny that?" It was admirable, really, it was. The fact that Lumine was completely ignoring Childe's position as a Harbinger and seemingly not minding it at all was something he hadn't seen in a while, but it was dangerous for her. She was on a quest: a journey across all of Teyvat, fighting against the Abyss and the Fatui alike. So why was she disregarding Childe's position as Harbinger? Why was she denying it?

"Well... yeah," Lumine answered. "Of course I'm denying it."

"But why?"

"Because..." The blonde girl shifted her eyes away from Childe, murmuring something under her breath. Even though she tried to avoid him hearing it, the Harbinger could make out a few words: "...you keep looking lonely..."

Oh? Him? Childe? The 11th Harbinger? One of those appointed and trusted by the Tsaritsa? The one who always shows up wherever the chaos is? How could he be lonely? If anything, he was far from lonely. He was surrounded by colleagues who feared and respected him, who would listen to his every word! How was that lonely?

Lumine, still avoiding Childe's gaze, let out a sigh and said in such a small voice, "I... caught you alone once. You were... writing a letter to someone, if I remember correctly."

Oh.

…oh.

His letters.

The letters that Childe would write to his siblings back in Snezhnaya whenever he had the time; letters talking about the things he had seen, sent over with an abundance of gifts that he so wished he could give them in person but can't; the letters written with stories he wanted to tell by their fireplace back home, where they could all eat Calla Lily Soup together and laugh at the shenanigans Childe was up to.

Those letters.

The letters that he had to send from nations away because the Fatui didn't trust him to stay in Snezhnaya.

The letters that he sent constantly because he felt homesick and wanted to be with his family.

…yes, those were such letters.

How could he be so stupid to let his guard down and have Lumine, his enemy, of all people, see that?

Childe fell silent, not saying anything. His silence spoke volumes to Lumine, confirming her suspicions. She saw the look on his face and seemed to take pity on him, to which he didn't want from her. He was seen at one of his most vulnerable times--when he was homesick and hoping the best for his family. He didn't want the one he was to cross blades with one day see such a thing.

"...you seemed kind of sad writing it." Lumine looked up at the sky as if searching for someone. It was almost as if she knew the feeling Childe had felt when he was writing those letters. "...you must miss them, the person you were writing to." The atmosphere grew tense, with the girl continuing to gaze at the sky with such a sorrowful look in her eyes; the boy, remaining uncharacteristically silent. "...maybe you just joined the Fatui for the sake of that person..." She looked back at Childe, with what seemed to be a look of pain on her face. "Right?"

Why? Childe wondered. Why is she looking at me like that? Like she would know. And why would it matter to her why I joined the Fatui? I'm still her enemy in the end... He looked at the waves touching the sand gently before they moved away, back to the ocean. The waves would touch the sand, then part with it... touch it, then part... what a somber feeling he felt, just from this one conversation.

Was this her plan? The ginger kept pondering. Did she pry into my private life in hopes that she can let my guard down? In hopes that she can strike me down faster that way? Childe was slowly growing paranoid, not believing Lumine's intents to be pure. He kept searching for reasons to antagonize her, to make her the enemy. He kept grasping at straws.

The thumping of his heart, though, kept telling him otherwise.

This entire time on the seashore of Liyue Harbor, Childe was at war with his heart and his head. His thoughts were all over the place, he couldn't understand a thing, and he was making no sense. He was quite lost, though he hated to admit it. The only thing he could make out clearly was the sound of Lumine's voice and her ethereal figure as she sat there, sometimes smiling, sometimes frowning.

So maybe that's why he accepted her offer. Maybe that's why he decided to let his guard down, just this once. Maybe... just maybe, that was the reason that he took up Lumine on her offer.

"...so," he quietly murmured, breaking the silence between them. "...you just want to take me on a date around Liyue and convince me to be... what? Merciful?" He had a slight smile on his face, hoping to lighten the atmosphere. Thankfully, to his benefit, it worked.

"Something like that--wait! Date?!" Lumine almost instantly regained that innocent glow she had before, giving in to Childe's antics. "D-da... it's not a date!" she screeched, turning to him and pounding her fists into the sand. The Harbinger covered his face to avoid the sand from flying into his face, starting to feel a bit giddier.

"Hahaha, yeah, sure! Okay, I totally believe you," he laughed, lowering his arm to catch a look at the flustered girl.

"I'm serious! It's not a date!"

"Oh, then what is it? A business outing? Hahaha!" Ah... she really is a bit cute.

The lighthearted atmosphere that was with them in the beginning returned. For now, Childe told himself, he'll let his guard down. Just this once, he'll try and let Lumine do as she pleases. Some part of him was telling him that it was alright to just be a human rather than a Harbinger around her...

...and for the first time, Childe listened.