#he's deeply wounded

[wylanslcve]

The next time I see someone call Wylan "boring" because his trauma isn't "as bad" as the other Crows' (namely Kaz and Inej's) I'm going to throttle someone. Firstly, trauma isn't comparable: trauma is trauma, regardless of what traumatic experience a person goes through. The point of Six of Crows is that all the Crows are traumatised but find comfort and solace within one another and galvanise each other's healing process.

Secondly, Wylan is a victim of ableism and emotional, mental and physical abuse - which is traumatic - and his story makes me feel physically ill whenever I think about it. As a disabled child, Wylan needed accommodations that his father refused to give him: instead, J*n treated him as something that needed fixing, and treated his disability as pure stubbornness that could be forced out of him with punishment and abuse. He "tried specialists, tonics, beatings, hypnotism" - which are traumatic. J*n also manipulated Wylan into believing that it was his fault by constantly shifting the blame to him (a behaviour very typical amongst abusers). As a result, Wylan never acknowledged his father's behaviour as abusive, which is why he tells Jesper in Crooked Kingdom that "he isn't evil" despite J*n literally trying to kill him twice. In fact, Wylan tries to justify how his father treated him, claiming that he "had done his best to care for his son, and if he’d failed, then the defect lay with Wylan." He also takes it as a display of affection and the desire to protect him, claiming that "his father might sound cruel, but he wasn’t just protecting himself or the Van Eck empire, he was protecting Wylan as well."

Wylan blaming himself for his father's actions doesn't stop there: in the period after Inej is kidnapped by J*n, Wylan feels responsible for what happened despite knowing that "he couldn’t have prevented his father from double-crossing the crew and kidnapping her. He knew that, but he still felt responsible". The guilt is eating away at him because he's so accustomed to taking the blame for his father's wrongdoings. Even after finding out the truth about his mother, which was really the catalyst for him recognising that J*n is indeed evil, his initial response is him blaming himself for it: "it was me. I caused this. He wanted a new wife. He wanted an heir. A real heir, not a moron who can barely spell his own name." This is only made even more sickening when we learn that Wylan would hear how his parents "fought all the time, sometimes about me", which would only amplify his feelings of responsibility for his father sending Marya away, stripping her of her life, family and fortune.

This is all without him not being allowed to grieve his mother's "death". This is all without the imposter syndrome and self-loathing Wylan experiences as a result of all of this, the fear that the Crows would see him as worthless and defective the way his father did and abandon him.

tl;dr: stop overlooking Wylan's trauma because he too has deep mental and emotional scars.

[genderqueerpond]

We don't talk enough about the fact that Amelia Pond, s5 Amelia Pond, before the timeline is reset, isn't just a normal orphan. Her parents didn't die, didn't abandon her, and didn't send her away. They never existed in the first place.

And if her parents never existed, then Amelia cannot exist. She is a causal impossibility.

"People fall out of the world sometimes, but they always leave traces." A photograph. A face carved into an apple. Yes. Sure.

A child.

Now that's too big, surely.

But that's what she is. She is exactly the same as these things. A trace. An echo of something that could never be, never was, never could have been.

And the universe should never allow it. A whole person, that's just too much. She could not have continued to exist indefinitely, in normal circumstances, after her parents never existed.

In normal circumstances.

Because the Doctor didn't just save her from things coming out of the crack in her wall. He saved her from going into it. And he didn't just save her from the threat of going into it simply because of its vicinity.

No, by arriving when he did, he interrupted a process that was probably already in motion. And then by arriving again only moments later on a cosmic relative timestream (too quickly for the process to complete) and yet in the local relative timestream, years later --- years of a potential future caught midway through the process of rewriting -- he solidified that existence. Amy is a creature from another timeline, caught in amber. The Doctor prevented her from never existing, but only after she could already never exist.

And so, no one around Amelia thinks about it. Neither does she. There's some kind of consciousness block, because if you thought about it, really thought about it, for two seconds you'd realize she cannot exist. And the human mind can't deal with that. So, to protect itself, everyone's brain simply slides off it before ever noticing. They just assume that her existence makes sense, and don't question it, and don't notice what they don't question, that is staring them in the face.

But of course, to some extent they do notice. They can't think it, but they notice subconsciously that there's something they can't think. They notice there's something wrong with her, something uncanny. And they don't like it, and they alienate her even more because of it.

"Does it ever bother you Pond that your life existence doesn't make any sense?"

[thecruellestmonth]

"Jason does it to himself... a tragedy of his own making..."

Yes!

"...He is stubbornly depriving himself of good relationship with his dad and siblings! If only he'd behave at a minimally decent level, then he'd be embraced by his wonderful family. Alas, he has made himself all alone."

Nah, that's the opposite of correct. Could not get any more wrong.

Jason is a tragedy of his own making because he won't let his loved ones go. According to a decent amount of canon evidence and some common sense, he'd be a much healthier, more successful person if he didn't have this family.

Unfortunately, he keeps attempting to find a way to live with them. In varying ways and extents, Jason's loved ones have shown they can accept his death and move on, without his loss compromising their fundamental identity. Jason is the one who rips himself apart, burns himself, hides himself in costume after costume—all to transform himself into a monster too strong to be forced to unhook his claws from the people he loves.

You will pry his loved ones from his cold, dead hands. And after that, he'll come back for them anyway.

[rawliverandgoronspice]

anyways, still deeply invested into my read of Ganondorf being an immense bully to children partially because, in a way, he rationalizes that putting children through the grinder is baaaasically kind of helping them to grow up faster, in a throwing you into the river to teach you how to swim kind of way, and if they can't handle the grinder, they were weak and it's on them and they can either suck it up and try harder, or get wrecked and die

and obviously that says absolutely nothing about how his own upbringing may have been handled, right twinrova, nor anything about how he may have buried a profound bitterness about the fact he was never really allowed a childhood of his own, and it's not fair others, especially hylians, get to spend their own carefree.

of course not.

[riacte]

so hey guys i finished dungeon meshi yesterday and i'm still thinking about it

[beaft]

writing has been like pulling teeth for me lately, but i'm thankful that i'm far enough into my current project that my characters are starting to unmask a little bit. i love repression and hostility and miscommunication as much as the next gay person, but after a certain point you do just want to take your little guys by the shoulders and go "for the love of god, TALK to each other"

[hello-galad]

[isbergillustration]

Thinking about ~15 year old Johnny Silverhand getting blown up in the war.

[spacecasehobbit]

Truly, I think there is a valid and also extra fun reading of Saltburn in which a good chunk of Oliver's fumbling of Felix was down to an early misreading of one of Felix's core personality traits.

That what Oliver read as Felix having a massive savior kink was actually more of Felix having a, "Growing up with Elspeth for a mother and playing witness to her rotating cast of poor dear friends in my formative years instilled within me a deepseated insecurity over the complete lack of interestingly Traumatic Events that I have experienced due to the wealth and privilege I was born with, coupled with an inability to look directly at or acknowledge that wealth and privilege because that would be, like, Bad?? maybe?? so instead of examing or dealing with this deepseated insecurity in any healthy way, I turned it into a weirdly intense and equally unexamined association with 'Struggles and Trauma = How to be Cool'," kink.

Evidence for this theory includes: -Felix delightedly telling all his friends the story of how his bike got a flat tire and he had to be Dramatically Rescued by an Intriguing Stranger! One slightly bad thing happened to that boy and he was so eager for it that he was telling everyone he knew at the first and also probably every opportunity for days -Felix responding to Oliver's early lies with things like, "You're really brave," and, "Seriously, you're a fucking inspiration, mate" -"What did they teach you in boarding school?" followed by Felix, listing off a few non-answers before staring deeply into Oliver's eyes and smacking a hand on Oliver's inner thigh before finishing with, "annnd... child abuse." -Felix seeming genuinely baffled by Annabell's assertion that none of her friends would want to sit next to Oliver at a dinner party, because... of course Oliver is interesting??? Oliver has Trauma! What do you mean his Traumatic Backstory makes him less interesting, this literally does not compute?? -The one thing that makes him instantly ditch Oliver, on the other hand, being Oliver calling him out as rich and spoiled while calling his room disgusting, which happens on the same day that he ditches Annabell, aka that girl with the baffling and nonsensical opinion that Being Rich is, like, more interesting that Having Trauma?? -Felix being a Harry Potter fan? Allows him to both appear totally normal because everyone loves Harry Potter, while also publically indulging his guilty little daydreams about how cool he could have been if he'd been a sad little orphan with a Tragic Backstory, but one who also got to still be wealthy and important via inheriting huge amounts of money from his dead parents and being the prophesized savior of the world -Felix sharing his family's rock throwing tradition but needing to awkwardly include that he's only ever done it for his dog = simultaneously a trigger for all his insecurities over his own lack of interesting Trauma but also an opportunity to live vicariously through Oliver's much more interesting Trauma -Felix being furious and deeply betrayed by Oliver, while also deciding that he couldn't possibly kick Oliver out before his birthday party, as the idea that literally no one at all except him and maybe Elspeth would have even noticed if Oliver was completely absent from his own birthday party does not even cross his mind, because he's the only one who knows that Oliver doesn't have interesting Trauma actually

And anyways, I like to imagine that half of this Felix's issues with the discovery that Oliver was lying was over the fact that it required him to grapple with the incomprehensible idea that Oliver did not, in fact, have much in the way of Interesting Trauma in his life either, apparently, but he'd still convinced not just Felix, but Elspeth that he was Interesting anyway?

And Felix's brain was neither prepared nor remotely equipped to process this idea in any way whatsoever besides just running away, sticking his fingers in ears, and going, "LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU," until the uncomfortable thoughts and also Oliver went away so he could get on with turning The Oliver Situation into his first real interesting Trauma that was already over and thus cool now, instead of still there and making it deeply and unpleasantly obvious that maybe traumatic events were actually just, like, really terrible things to live through while they were still happening, in fact???

[wylanslcve]

I'm sorry but Leigh Bardugo did not write "now it was risk filling up his nose and mouth, making him feel giddy and invincible. He loved it, and he hated himself for loving it. He should be thinking about the job, the money, getting out from under his debt, making sure his father didn't suffer for his antics. But when Jesper's mind even brushed up against those thoughts, everything in him recoiled. Trying not to die was the best possible distraction" for you to perceive Jesper Llewellyn Fahey as simply the flirty sharpshooting comedic relief who third wheels Kanej.

[lovrbooy]

i feel like i have very unpopular opinions on dennis within this fandom. i am scared of fandom spaces so. to the tags i go

[sciderman]

i once got a door shut on my hand with so much force i was afraid my fingers would get legit for realsies crushed and i cried so openly in front of all my coworkers it triggered one's mom instincts and she checked my hand for me, so i dont think you're lame sci ;w; (my hand was fine)

[blindmagdalena]

The part of the trailer with A-Train looking at a jar of hair, a picture of stormfront, noirs sword, and a milk bottle? (not sure if that’s what it is) in I’m assuming homelanders penthouse?

I forget how creepy our man is sometimes. 😭

y'all remember the deleted scene where Homelander approached Maeve while she was brushing her hair?

I can't stop thinking about him returning to that same room after she's gone and looking around. Taking his gloves off to touch her things. Finding her hairbrush and picking it up to inspect, to touch, to smell.

Maybe she was never his, but there was a time when he had her. He thought he'd always have her.

His heart is both empty and heavy. It hurts.

He's supremely gentle in unwinding the hairs from the bristles, moving them between his fingers. He collects every one that he can and he puts them in a jar because he'll never have her again, there's no picket fence, no little rugrats, there's no happily ever after, but he can keep a little piece of when he once believed there would be. A little piece of her.

[moe-broey]

Fuck tjis shit I'm making base Alfonse my greeter again

AWESOEM......

[lit-in-thy-heart]

thinking about how it's almost worse that the true lancelot thanked merlin at the end of 4x09 because instead of having some comfort in thinking that the shade was only the image of lancelot, merlin has to live with the knowledge that his lancelot was there the entire time, locked away, and he did nothing to help him until it was too late

[annamaryllis]

I would like to know exactly how luke asking annabeth to run away with him went down.