#man is just out there trying to let merlin know he cares so deeply for him

[lit-in-thy-heart]

thinking about how it's almost worse that the true lancelot thanked merlin at the end of 4x09 because instead of having some comfort in thinking that the shade was only the image of lancelot, merlin has to live with the knowledge that his lancelot was there the entire time, locked away, and he did nothing to help him until it was too late

[pippin-katz]

Arthur’s Love Confession

The word choice for Arthur’s confession is really… interesting. As many people have pointed out, if you remove the pronouns from the conversation, everything Arthur says can be true for Merlin as much as Gwen.

Here’s the thing: I’m a writer. I’ve said this before, and I’ll keep saying it when it comes to posts like this.

If I was writing a love confession from one of my characters, I wouldn’t have what they say be so vague that it would be unclear who they were referring to when taken out of context.

If you showed this conversation to someone who had no idea who these characters were other than a knight and a servant, it would be completely believable that the knight is talking about the servant he’s with.

Hell, Merlin’s reaction to Arthur being unable to say he’s in love and how certain he is that nothing could happen seems a bit strong considering the conversation is about Gwen, not him. He’s her friend and would understandably try to convince Arthur that they could be together, but the dialogue does it in such a round about, vague way before they get to the point. There’s no reason for them to be vague. They both know full well who they’re talking about.

I suppose I have to say this is an opinion of the writing because I can’t claim that the writers did anything with underlying intentions. It’s just seems strange to me how perfectly the description aligns. Even the lines not here could easily have the pronouns swapped and still make sense.

“How can I admit that I think about her (him/you) all the time? Or that I care about her (him/you) more than anyone? How can I admit that I don’t know what I’ll do if any harm comes to her (him/you)?”

It still works. We can’t prove that Arthur thinks about Merlin all the time, but there’s a damn huge amount of evidence that he cares for him deeply and can’t handle him being hurt. Anyone wanting to argue with me on this, go watch The Poisoned Chalice again, which is the FOURTH EPISODE by the way.

Other than that iconic episode, there’s plenty of other things. He doesn’t let Merlin drink the “poison” during the test at the labyrinth. He denies any accusations of him having magic whenever they come up, which is because he genuinely doesn’t believe he has any, but it also has to do with the fact that he would be executed. He always protects him in dangerous situations and tells him to run when things get too dicey. We all know how he acted when Merlin was believed to be dead.

Like I said, it’s weird how well the lines match up. And Arthur looks at him like this before the conversation:

And like this after this conversation:

Maybe I’ve just never had a “true bestie” because I have never looked at someone or had someone look at me like that. Arthur looks so flirtatious in that second gif man.

But anyway! That’s just some thoughts I was having about the love confession!

[georgies-ftts]

just another Merlin headcanon/fic idea that i may or may not write… (AU: Post canon/nobody dies, Arthur knows about Merlin’s magic but not quite what Merlin does for Camelot in his spare time)

Merlin and Arthur have been teetering around each other since the Battle. Arthur showing a more protective and outwardly caring side to the younger man. Merlin leaving lingering touches and soft glances whenever he’s able, defending Arthur more openly and strongly to those he never would’ve dared to before.

The Knights have bets on their relationship. Leon is winning. Gwaine is in debt. Percival wants to rip his hair out, Lancelot and Eylan are secretly betting on Gwaine going bankrupt before Merlin and Arthur even admit their feelings out loud.

After a particularly close encounter with his servant, soon to be court sorcerer, Arthur finally works up the courage to ask Merlin if he feels the same as he does, to tell Merlin that marrying for an heir is what the court want, he wants to marry for love, and he loves Merlin.

He asks Merlin, by a letter that he thinks gives a clear light to his intentions, to meet him outside the castle, in a spot they sometimes sit at together when the days have been long and stressful. The spot where the moonlight shines brightly over the flowers and the grass is somehow soft year round and in the summer a small refreshing cross breeze is created by the way the trees are sprayed out scarcely before them.

But Merlin never shows and Arthur feels embarrassed, hurt, somehow more betrayed than when Merlin revealed the gold dragon within the flames of the fire but he understands that Merlin must’ve read Arthur’s intentions loud and clear and saved him the mortifying rejection of his manservant. So instead he turns to avoiding Merlin, that seeing him after the clear rejection would only send him into a spiral so he tries his best to stay away.

However he notices that, despite his effort to avoid him, he hasn’t seen the sorcerer anywhere at all, his chores untouched, a dreadful feeling that hasn’t been there until that morning fills the air. It’s obvious the others within the castle feel it too.

Arthur turns to the knights, questioning if they have seen Merlin, if he is okay and well, but they have not seen him and that only causes Arthur to panic more.

He sends the guards to search the castle, the stables, Gwens house, even the small opening by the lake where Merlin traipses off to when he’s feeling rough, when he’s hiding. But he’s never gone this long.

He orders them to tear Camelot apart if they have too.

But he’s found in none of those places.

Instead Merlin and Gwaine find him, bloody, broken and shivering beneath the castle where he hasn’t been able to move himself for the past two days even calling for help had been pointless so far below the occupied layers of the castle.

Merlin is rushed to Gauis as he his eyes flutter and Arthur can do nothing but sit and panic as Merlin’s wounds are tended too.

Once he is awake and competent Arthur sits beside his cot and, though it feels wrong too, he questions him deeply, his voice tremors and his fingers shake but he does it anyway.

And Merlin tells him everything, how he received the letter and his heart almost gave up on itself at the thought of alone time with the King, how he’d been sneaking around near the stores, trying to find a bottle of wine or two just before their meeting so they could truly relax after a stressful council meeting and had caught the assassin that had been snooping low in the castle. A poisoned dagger strapped to his belt.

He had been strong and relentless and had nearly left Merlin with less than his life but Merlin had fought for Arthur and he had won, even if he ended the scrap with blood coating his body and an ache in his ribs that made him hiss and cough with each movement.

That even before Arthur knew about his magic this had been a large part of his daily life, to keep Arthur safe and to never let him know just how much it hurt him, how much it broke him. He jokes that he doesn’t even know where the tavern is.

But Arthur echos that now he doesn’t need to hide, he can ask for help, and he will receive it.

Then Arthur realises that Merlin truly had no idea what he was going to ask him and he knows that if he doesn’t do it now he won’t ever be able too again.

So he asks.

And Merlin replies.

[sevendeadlyheadcanons]

the sins helping gowther who is literally like a baby emotionally and gets scared a lot-

YES!!!! I love Gowther content!!!!

I’m gonna do this by character because I want to add a few points to each

Meliodas

-when he hears him scream or cry he’s very nonchalant, will be like “You good?”

-Will run his hands through his hair and calm him down by telling him that the seven deadly sins are all here to help him

-Would definitely sit down with him and talk him through it all, help him ground himself and tell him about how much everyone loves him.

-He’ll often check his room to make sure he’s all good and see if he needs any support.

Diane

-His new mother. She makes sure he’s fine constantly. Let’s him hang out outside with her while she sleeps so he’s not alone

-If he gets spooked she will take him away from the situation and talk him through it all.

-Will try to take his mind off his worries by letting him try on her human-sized clothes and dresses. They have a little fashion show where only Hawk is invited (the equivalent of rupaul of the nnt universe, nakaba suzuki told me himself true and factchecked)

-She will pick him up and put him on her head so that he’s far away from whatever is spooking him and close to something he’s comfortable

Ban

-Ban does NOT know what to do in this situation. He’s not grasped Gowther and his emotions yet. He’s like “Heyyy bro… don’t cry… cmon man,” and gives him the most awkward hug

-He absolutely does care about him he just doesn’t know how to show it. He can’t exactly cook for him. He does let him spill all of his trauma onto him and he’ll offer a shoulder to cry on for him.

-He will steal books for him as gifts because he knows that he likes those and they make him feel comforted. Once wrote him his own book that was really badly grammatically wrong and had the worst drawn pictures in it and Gowther loved it because it was His.

-He’ll stay up all night if he needs to stay up with him to comfort him through his stress, just to make sure he’s ok.

King

-Quite apprehensive at first, unsure of whether he is genuinely upset or if he’s gonna be like “wahaha this is a social experiment i have no heart”

-Once it becomes apparent to him that he’s 100% serious he will try his absolute best to make him comfortable. He’ll take him out to bookshops on days he’s so down in the dumps he doesn’t want to leave his room.

-He’ll offer his pillow to him so he can hide behind it

-He’ll reassure him that everyone is here for him now and that things won’t go back to how they used to be.

-Gowther often gets upset about how he hurt the group and King has to reassure him that it’s all in the past and the fact that he’s able to feel guilt over it now shows he’s truly a better person

Merlin

-She knows about his creator and has been told about his past, so she’s able to source his feelings and comfort him

-She’ll let him sit in the room with her while she conducts experiments so that he can feel nostalgic over Goatdad

-She asks questions about Nadja to better understand her. Not the type of questions that would trigger trauma but the type to make him look back and smile.

-She’ll ruffle his hair and kiss him on the head since she still sees him as something like a little brother to her.

-She hugs him while joking that it was either feeling these emotions or going back in the stuffy armour.

Escanor

-During the night he will fetch literally anything he needs. Handkerchief? Books? He’s got it

-He’ll ask him to proofread his poetry to get him to take his mind off what he was originally anxious about

-During the daytime he will be hesitant to show he cares but he truly does. He’ll show it by asking him to come along hunting or asking about Merlin in the past. Things to take his mind away from the pain.

-He deeply respects Gowther and would do anything to help him. Always talks him through crying fits and helps him ground himself. Reminds him that men are allowed to feel (even though he wasn’t even aware of the norm of men not being able to show emotion?)

Elizabeth

-Always prepared to hug him!!!! She doesn’t know him as much as she knows the others but she’s so willing to help him out!!!

-She’s aware Nadja was her auntie but doesn’t want to pry him out of fear she’ll cause him to cry

-Always wiping his eyes and clearing the tears from his glasses because though she doesn’t know him well she still loves him!!!

-Asks him to tell her about the books he’s reading in order to show an interest in him and let him know she cares

-Like Meliodas, she also makes sure to check on him!!!

I hope you’re having a wonderful day 💙💙💙

[local-cringe-writer]

Tristamp x Blue Eye Samurai au

Idea from:

Thank you @mewhoismyself for the idea!! I enjoyed writing this and honestly this au is just <333 I hope you like it:D

Cw // character death(?)

Vash

"A Samurai on a Journey"

★ similar to Mizu, Vash is seeking out revenge, and is always on the move. He wears piles of clothes that hide every part of his skin besides a small bit of his face. He ALWAYS wears a Tengu mask, believing he isn't human / he's trapped in a human body. Though he mostly only wears a Tengu mask to hide his face, he will only take it off to respect anyone who he may have killed in battle / or on occasion any body he stumbles through his journey. Like in the Trigun lore, he will NOT fight anyone. Unless of course the sword is drawn on him first. He will fight if he absolutely needs to, but he let's the other know that peace was possible between them. He seeks on revenge to the one who he believes have killed his caretaker. (In this au, I'd like to think Rem was taken out by a mysterious person) so that's the point of his journey. In this au, there is no tension between him or his brother. (In my opinion, but it's up to you in the end) .

Status: Alive, just barely.

—— —— —— —— —— —— —— ——

Nai

"A farm boy, but also vash's brother"

A stay-at-home brother who believes his brother is going to come home. Before Vash left on his journey, Nai was told and was well informed that Vash was leaving. In denial, Nai didn't believe Vash. When Vash left and never came back home, Nai fell in a pit of despair. Keeping in mind that "vash will just come home tomorrow" he tends the dying garden, taking whatever is alive and makes something out of it. He eats dinner alone and leaves his brother's bowl at his seat at the table. Eventually, the food will rot just like the other bowls that were left there. Just like Vash, he would also wear layers of clothes until everything but his face was covered. He is seen as "just a farm boy trying to make it through" around the 20th day of Vash being gone, he decided it was time to go find him. And so he left to go find him and never was found since. Just like his canon counterpart, he is a serious person and is the one to start fights if he feels threatened.

Status : unknown / missing (presumed dead)

—— —— —— —— —— —— —— ——

Wolfwood

A "claim-to-be" religious man

Like Vash, he is known to wear a Tengu mask. However he wears his to keep evil spirits away. He attempts to remain more on the religious side so he can rest in peace when he is long dead. Funfact! He gave Vash the Tengu mask, believing that the world would take pity on Vash while on his journey. He cares deeply about Vash and is very aloof. He's simple, and is often not "acting" religious when he claims to be such. Never the one to start fights, but always wins in the end. Used to be a Samurai, he retired after losing a childhood friend. Nowadays he tries to stay out of the way and trying not to snap and end everyone in sight. Wolfwood wears mostly traditional outfits and only hides his legs (who is covered in scars from his past 'job' as a Samurai)

Status : Alive! (Somehow..)

—— —— —— —— —— —— —— ——

Meryl

"Vash's temporary apprentice!"

A simple, yet stubborn girl who has trouble accepting a "no" as an answer on most things. An ex farm girl who dreamed to be more. When she first stumbled on Vash while he was traveling by her town, immediately caught her interest. She begged Vash to be his apprentice, and kept trying even when Vash politely told her "no". It wasn't until when Vash finally caved in, she became Vash's apprentice. Even if temporary— Vash is currently training her to be a better version of himself. In public she isn't a girl, but a man. She holds a masculine name (mostly "Merlin" depending the city she's in) and wears varieties of cloaks to hide most of her body. Due to her cocky attitude, it often leads to sprawls.

Status : Alive and well

—— —— —— —— —— —— —— ——

Roberto

Simple man, father figure to many

A man with common sense to stay out of danger and tended to not get into fights. Keeping Meryl under his wing for a few years until she moved out to travel with Vash. Not soon after Meryl left, he died due to unknown reasons. He never was a Samurai, nor was his parents. He had almost no interest in pain or suffering in others. Spending most of his days outside, just sitting around while the streets remained busy. Seeming boring to many, but like Vash, just wanting the world to be a better place. He is now resting peacefully.

Status : dead

That's it! Please let me know if I should add more / make more posts surrounding this au <3

[roohuh]

Perilous Proposals

Part 10 of the Obliviate Series

Ominis x MC

Summary: After Celebrating at the Three Broomsticks you and Ominis take a stroll in the moonlight.

Warnings:

The Centaurs only brought good news. All of the work you had put in was finally paying off and you are ecstatic; the region around Hogwarts has become somewhat of a sanctuary for all the beasts dwelling in it. You and Poppy chatter excitedly as you leave the forest. Earlier that day Sebastian had insisted you and Poppy would join him and Ominis at the Three Broomsticks that evening in celebration of the good news you hoped to receive. As you approach the tavern you can see Ominis and Sebastian casually chatting at an outdoor table. Sensing your approach the boys stand and greet you.

“How did it go?” Ominis questions before taking your hand planting a kiss on the back of it. Blushing you reply,

“It went rather well I would say.” Looking to Poppy for reassurance.

“Well? It went better than we could have hoped! The poachers have all but entirely moved out of this region and the wildlife is booming! All thanks to MC or as the poachers call her Merlin's Wrath.”

“Shut up Poppy!” Hitting Poppy you desperately try and change the topic

“How about some butterbeers?”

“We better listen, we don't want to invoke Merlin's Wrath.” Sebastian laughs leading the way inside. It is difficult to find a table so you grab your drinks and walk up to the tables on the upper level. The tavern beneath buzzes with conversation as you cheer for your victory. Poopy who has had a crush on Sebastian since her second year plays with her hair nervously as she asks

“How was Anne this weekend?” He turns to her almost as if just now noticing her presence and smiles.

“She is doing the best she can, I suppose. She fights the curse but this hot weather makes her tired.” Poppy sympathizes as Ominis nudges you amused at her attempt to flirt. Sebastian seems completely oblivious to her advances as he starts into a monologue about the renovations he has planned to make their dwelling more comfortable for her. Ominis laughs at his friend as he squeezes the top of your knee.

“It is quite loud in here. MC would you care to stroll down to the lake with me and enjoy the fresh air?” Seeing what he is doing you play along and wink at Poppy.

“You two stay here we shall not be long.” Waving your hand over your shoulder to your cherry red friend. Once outside you laugh to Ominis

“What a splendid idea now maybe Sebastian will notice the poor lovesick girl.” Ominis smiles, tucking your hand in his arm.

“I do not know what you could be speaking of. I just wanted to be alone with you.” His voice drops low at the end and you blush deeply. Walking hand in hand in the moonlight you stroll around the streets of Hogsmead. Eventually reaching the bench hand in hand facing the lake you sit watching the moonlight dance across the water. Crickets serenade you with the song of the night. With a sigh you place your head on Ominis shoulder content. After a while Ominis hand reaches for your face drawing it up to his placing a small kiss on your forehead. Then your nose. And finally your lips.

“Oh how brash of you little brother.” A man teases from behind you. Drawing his wand, Ominis moves in front of you.

“What do you want?” He snarls.

“I have come to make peace.” His hands raised in the air.

“I do not trust your peace. Be gone with you.” Ominis keeps his wand trained on his brother.

“Oh but Ominis; I have a deal you can not refuse.” Placing your hand on Ominis shoulder you try and calm him,

“Let’s just hear him out. His wand is away. He seems like he just wants to talk.”

“Alright, but be quick.” He sighs, keeping his wand trained on Professor Gaunt.

“So distrustful.” He tisks and shakes his head in mock disappointment. “I know how to make it so you and your little beauty get to be together.”

“And what is in it for you?”

“Liberation.” A slow smile spreads across the elder brother's face as if the words alone give him satisfaction.

“What is the plan?” You pipe up intrigued.

“You are going to kill our father.” He says flatly.

“No!” Ominis shoots back.

“Just think about the evil you would be obliterating. Not to mention freeing yourself from his control.” The silver tongued brother persuades.

“If it is such a good idea why don’t you do it yourself?” You eye his cautiously.

“Because I made an unbreakable vow to serve our illustrious father after I graduated Hogwarts and if I kill him I will be breaking that vow. He will force you to do the same Ominis.” Unsure of what to do, you turn to Ominis.

“Kill him yourself if that is what you want done but you can not send her to fight in your stead.” Ominis speaks sharply.

“I know she can do it after that lightning show the other day I am sure she can get the job done.”

“You sent the spider?” Bellows Ominis. Shrugging innocently the young Professor puts his hands in his pockets,

“I was just confirming she was capable and was she ever? You are magnificent. If you ever want the real Gaunt experience you should ditch Ominis and spend a night with me.” In an instant Ominis fist meets his older brother's face. Lurching forward you grab Ominis in an effort to restrain him.

“Stop! He is a Professor! You can not fight him. You will be expelled!” You plead. The brother backs off laughing, rubbing blood from his nose.

“I did not think you had that in you little brother!” His eyes shine with the adrenaline of battle and he raises his wand pointing it at you.

“ I shall have you know if you try anything foolish I will punish your prize foolish brother.” Shoving you behind him Ominis stands ready for a fight.

“You never were good at picking enemies. Just think about it.” With that Professor Gaunt vanishes.

[thetorturedpoetsintern]

Pink Valentine

Note: set during The Chamber of Secrets. I wanted to explore their dynamic as a couple during their first Valentine together. And what their attitude at Lockhart's constant advances towards Anastasia might be. The little poem that appears in this one-shot is copied from a haiku page online. I chose it because I thought it reflects what Severus feels for his beloved. Enjoy!

Warnings: pure fluff and some NSFW content, so minors DNI

Anastasia’s eyes flutter open as a ray of sunlight touches delicately her eyelashes. Turning around, she notices the other side of the bed is empty and panics for a few seconds, sitting bolt upright trying to process what is going on. Of course, he woke up early to teach his first class, just like last week and the week before that, since the term started.

As Ana’s heart calms into a steady rhythm again, she starts to get ready for today, groaning loudly as she remembers it was Valentine’s Day. And on top of that, Dumbledore agreed to a dinner dedicated to love, which, of course, was the idea of none other than Lockhart. It was stupid in her opinion to endulge this kind of behavior amongst students, as if it wasn’t sufficient already that the staff almost every night patrol found at least one couple of older students getting caught in the heat of the moment. Ana could remember her days as a student at Ilvermony, and she had her fair share of dates as a Cromwell, but in her teenage days it was all sweet, lots of kisses and cuddles, but never more. She could swear these kids got hornier with each passing year.

Anastasia was now making her way towards the dungeons. It was a relatively long way if one considered her quarters were on the fourth floor, but that was the perfect excuse to think in peace, kind of like drinking coffee while reading the day’s news, as she did while she lived in the muggle world, and the only care in the world was letting her target slip and get lost. 

"Did they upset you enough this morning or do you require my assistance to be properly irritated?" Severus turns around and glances at the beautiful witch that stays by his office door. A small smile tugs at the corner of his mouth as his eyes travel up and down her body.

"Since when do you wear dresses? I can count on my fingers the number of times I’ve seen you wear one. "

"Since that Lockhart prick almost invited me as his date for this evening's festivities, I just want to mess with him a little today" she says as she envelops him in a hug, one hand making its way to the back of his neck, gently slipping her fingers through his hair.

Severus couldn’t contain a mock scoff at her words. Ever since Lockhart started teaching at Hogwarts, he followed Ana like a lost puppy trying to get her attention. He remembered one episode at lunch one day when Lockhart kept pressing her to accept his invitation to go out with him.

"I already date someone whom I deeply love."

"I apologize for my intrusion, but I think you are just playing hard to get. You must know how to hide your little lies better than this. "

"What do you mean, Lockhart?"

"Well, Anastasia-"

"This is Professor Cromwell to you."

"Professor Cromwell, it is then. You barely leave the grounds, so that little apology of yours doesn’t stand, you see? "

"Look Lockhart-"

"Gilderoy, please"

"Lockhart - the thing is, I don’t date blondes. I am blonde, you are blonde. We won’t look as attractive together as you look single. "

"We will have nice, good-looking blonde children nevertheless."

"Sorry, Lockhart, I plan on making another man a father."

And even though they didn’t discuss the subject of children-they were together for barely a year, and they wanted to savor their relationship and not rush into things like other couples. For Merlin’s sake, they weren’t even an official pair-seeing Ana putting Lockhart into his place and hearing her say she wanted his-Merlin, HIS-children did something unexpected to him. That night they didn’t sleep until late, when the dark started to fade. 

"And pink? Merlin, woman, you have no mercy whatsoever for that poor fellow."

"I wanted to fit today’s aesthetic. Plus, I have your favorite boots on, so let's just say I am not all girly today. " She talked about a pair of high-heeled boots that no matter how many times she wore them, they still made her feet sore.

"My favorite boots? Ana, your feet will be a mass of painful flesh by tonight. " Worry was clearly audible in his voice.

"I agree with you, but then you get to massage them and make them better with your gorgeous hands, sexy," and as she says that, she kisses him.

"Happy Valentine's Day, my love!"

"Happy Valentine’s Day to you too, my little troublemaker!" He smacks her playfully over the barely visible curve of her posterior. She had a pink baby doll dress that ended a little over her knees, the curves he loved hidden by the tulle. "And don’t go around lifting your skirt around the corridors."

"Promise I'll lift it only when you're there," she winks at him before kissing him goodbye and heading to her classroom.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"You look exquisite, Anastasia! Though I have to point out the fact that you could have been more extravagant, it is a special occasion after all," Lockhart approaches her with his "Witch Weekly's" winning smile. Ana bites the inside of her cheek in an attempt to not storm at him in the middle of the Great Hall. Joining Pomona and Minerva turns out to be an inspired choice, as Gilderoy doesn't seem to try anything else.

But just when Ana starts to melt, locking eyes with her lover across the room, making his way towards her through the mass of dancing students, the euphoric moment crumbles when she hears on her right: "Did you like the flowers I sent to you?" 

"I liked them so much I cried most of the day." Gilderoy's smug smile seems to inflate more than usual. "But from allergies. If you actually paid me attention as you claim to be doing, you would have noticed that the flowers I received on Christmas from the students were charmed to eliminate the pollen. " 

"But, you never told me-" 

"I am going to tell you once more. I already have someone. " She can't take her gaze away from Severus, who is only a few steps away."I want you to stop trying to pick me up because it won't work. You're not him and you could never be him." And at that, he reaches for her hand and their fingers intertwine, hidden from the rest under Severus' cloak but visible enough for Lockhart to notice. 

"You can't be serious, Anastasia. You're still playing me." Lockhart's voice trembles in an attempt to control his, not a minute ago, proud attitude. 

"I suggest you put all your effort into teaching the kids the real stuff and not just how to hide from pixies and run after another man's woman. If you don't, I'll know, and then you'll know too. " 

At Severus's remark, Gilderoy's face loses its color, and with a shake of his head, he lowers his gaze and walks away. 

"My charming prince came to the rescue," she says in a low note destined only for him. "Thank you!" 

"It was my honor, my princess!" He gives her a small bow of his head, his eyes gleaming in a way that tells her he would be smiling if they weren't in public. 

"I got your message. Poor owl almost went head first into the window." Severus sent her a poem during her third class.

"Did you read it?" He asks nervously.

"I more than read it, I memorized it. ' Like captured water, you hold me in your cupped hands. I flow on your palm.’ "

"Did you like it?" 

"So much that I think only special physical attention to the writer could convey the amplitude of my appreciation, and even that wouldn't be enough." Severus couldn't drown more in anticipation of what was to come in mere hours.

"My quarters tonight?" 

"I'll be there as soon as all the students are in bed." He squeezed her hand one last time, still hidden by the cloak, and she reciprocated with the same ardor. One last loving glance afterward, they parted ways to chaperone the students with the other professors.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

"For the love of Merlin, why did I have to wear these damn boots the whole damn day?" Ana angrily mutters to herself as she goes down the stairs leading to the dungeon. She can feel every step she makes as part of some cosmic twisted torture.

Severus excused himself earlier than her as his Slytherins proved to be the most responsible students in the school this night (he later confessed to her that he actually secretly let them host their own party in their common room as long as they didn’t sneak booze and remained inside because "I will know if someone does something stupid and then you’ll all suffer my displeasure"). 

She was free to go when Minerva, Pomona, and Filius sent their students to bed and all the professors took one tour of the castle to make sure there weren’t students in the corridors or abandoned classrooms.

"Honey, I’m home!" she almost sings as she enters his quarters, giggling silently as she steps carefully in an effort to attenuate the pain she’s feeling.

"Finally, the long-lost princess finds her way to her prince." He welcomes her by the door, kissing her, tongues colliding, hands searching for something to hold onto. Severus picks her up by the back of her thighs, never breaking the kiss.

His bed feels cold, but it’s a coldness Anastasia finds refreshing, like the feeling of the wind on a summer morning or the moment when one surfaces out of the water and little drops of water still cling to one's naked body.

She moans in relief when he takes her boots off and starts to rub a mix of oils on her feet.

"Better?" 

Ana just nods and reaches out to grab him by his shirt.

"And now I think I promised you something."

She maneuvers him to lie on his back, and she climbs on top of him. Severus’ hands start going up under her dress as Ana licks and gently nips the skin of his neck. At the feel of a pair of lace thongs, he takes a deep breath.

"You naughty little witch! Wearing something so scandalous under your clothes all day. "

"Only your naughty little witch, baby!" she breathes and resumes the attack on his neck while grinding hard on his swollen cock. 

"Better not let me wait for my reward or I might take it myself," he manages to say between whimpers.

"Don’t worry, baby! You know I don’t let my savior prince wait," she says as she slides her hand into his pants…

[mycheese-tasted-like-applepie]

#99 - GIMME THE ANGST. With Gwaine and Lancelot (who the reader ends up with is your call !!) She is v close with both of them but only one relationship is..intimate. and the other is brotherly. But Gwaine/Lancelot doesn’t realize that 😅 PLUS #8, #31 (obviously), andddd #72??

I can try my best💖 We all know my feelings on Gwaine, so we can guess where this is going😂

*Maybe a bit of angst*

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Only One

You wonder why your heart did it; made a love that can’t be shared between two men you cared for deeply.

#8 “Why are you crying?”

#31 “I’m not jealous.”

#72 “Did you just… wait, you love me?”

#99 “It kills me to think about you having a life with someone else.”

You never thought that two men could possibly pine over you so much. I mean, Gwaine was an obvious flirt, but Lancelot was also rather charming. These men have managed to worm their way into your heart, but you knew that you couldn’t have both.

There was only room for one.

However, you cared for both Gwaine and Lancelot deeply. How could you possibly just pick one? In the end, you decided to just do nothing. You would let this play out until your emotions made the choice for you.

It was not easy.

Things started with a banquet in honor of a tournament that was going to be held. There was dancing, food, wine, you name it. Several of the guests were out dancing, and you were one of them.

You were in the arms of Sir Gwaine, with a very peeved Lancelot watching from the sidelines.

“Wish that was you?” Merlin asked in a teasing manner when he noticed Lancelot watching the two of you with his arms crossed.

“Why would I want to dance with Gwaine?” The knight asked back in an irritated manner, causing the sorcerer to smile.

“So, you are jealous?” Merlin pushed again.

“I’m not jealous.” Lancelot answered rather quickly, giving Merlin the answer. He was all too aware of the rivalry going on between Gwaine and Lancelot.

“Right.” The servant said with raised brows before deciding to leave Lancelot in peace. After a quick glare, the ever-loyal knight continued to watch you dance in the arms of someone else.

Meanwhile, you were conversing with Gwaine while he danced with you.

“I didn’t think you could dance, Gwaine.” You pointed out, and he faked an offended look.

“Well now, is that how you speak to such a good friend?” Gwaine emphasized that word in order to prove his point. He’s been by your side for as long as Lancelot has, but of course he thinks he’s he better man.

“I guess not.” You said with a slight laugh, changing the mood and causing Gwaine to frown.

“You know Y/N...you are quite a lovely woman.” He said to you in a serious manner. That charming grin didn’t adorn his face like usual, making you blush a bit.

“Thank you...” You said, your voice barely above a whisper. The two of you continued to dance for a while before he sighed, bringing up something that actually got him flustered.

“It kills me to think about you having a life with someone else.” He admitted, causing you to feel both a bit guilty and flustered. Gwaine must know that Lancelot wants you as well. However, this right now was a confession from Gwaine. 

“I’m sorry Gwaine...I need time to think...” You said with a couple of tears brimming your eyes. He nodded in understanding, but you could tell that he felt a bit saddened. You were as well though.

Because, well, you did love him dearly.

But you didn’t want to hurt Lancelot.

The very thought of it left you torn one night. You were sitting in one of the corridors, staring out at the night sky. The moon was full\ and making things all bright. However, that was the opposite of how you were feeling. There were tears streaming down your face, but you were hiding your sobs rather well.

All of this was too much for you. Lancelot and Gwaine. Holding love for both, but only being able to be with one. The worst part being that you loved Gwaine more, in an intimate way. Lancelot was still close to you, but in a brotherly type of way. You just couldn’t picture anything else.

But he didn’t know that. 

“Why are you crying?” A certain familiar voice, but one you weren’t ready to hear, came from behind you. You slowly turned around to see Lancelot giving you a concerned look.

“I...I’m just going through some stuff...” Was all you could confess to him as you wiped at your eyes. The knight slowly walked over and placed a hand on your shoulder. It was meant to be a loving gesture, but you could only get an older brother vibe from it.

“Anything I can help with?” He asked in a polite manner, smiling to try and make you feel better. However, it only made you feel worse.

“I...I don’t think so...” You mumbled while wiping at your eyes again. Seeing as words weren’t working for you right now, Lancelot furthered his arm around your shoulders. The touch was becoming too much for you, and against what your heart was telling you, you pulled away. 

“I-I’m sorry...so sorry...” You cried while giving him a pitiful look before fleeing the scene. Lancelot just stood there, confused by what he did to make you more upset.

What were you sorry for?

You were now back in your room, still crying from the episode that just occurred. Your bed was comfortable, but it held no warmth when it came to how you were feeling. 

A sudden knock on your door made you freeze.

“Y/N...are you alright?” Who you thought was Lancelot turned out to be Gwaine. After a couple seconds, you heard him announce that he was coming in. When you looked up, you saw that the knight was out of his uniform.

He looked so normal and approachable.

“What’s wrong?” Gwaine asked in a gentle tone, hesitantly sitting beside you. Your lip quivered a bit at that because Lancelot had asked you the same thing. That, and the problem was still the same. You couldn’t stop yourself from leaning into him.

“It’s just so hard...I love you, but...” You couldn’t believe what you just said because you thought you said it in your head. However, the look on his face told you that you voiced your thoughts.

“Did you just… wait, you love me?” Gwaine’s voice was soft, shocked, like he couldn’t believe what you just confessed to him. I mean, you couldn’t believe it either, but you cried when you heard him ask the question.

“Y-Yes...but Lancelot...” That’s all you needed to say before he put his arms around you. 

While Gwaine was glad he was the one to win your heart, he felt for sympathy for his brother in arms. The knight couldn’t imagine you with someone who wasn’t him, so he imagined Lancelot felt the same.

“He’ll understand. I’m sure of it.” Gwaine tried to reassure you, but you still seemed a bit upset about this.

“I see him like...like a brother...I don’t want to hurt him.” You confessed to Gwaine, who merely rubbed your shoulder before gently resting his forehead against yours in a comforting manner.

You knew it was the right thing to do instead of leading Lancelot on. A little pain now is better than a lot of pain later. Plus, he was right. Lancelot is an understanding and caring man, so you hoped he wouldn’t let this get to him. He could have any woman he wanted.

“I guess...I’ll have to tell him...just not now.” You sniffled before hugging Gwaine more, finding comfort in his embrace. However, little did you know that you wouldn’t have to worry about telling Lancelot anything.

He was eavesdropping on the whole thing.

[ameliora-j]

happier

word count: 825

warnings: angst, mentions of not eating, uh i think that’s all but pls lmk if i missed something 

a/n: this is my first ever writing i’m posting pls be nice. i didn’t mention any characters but it’s based on the harry potter universe and it’s based off the song happier by olivia rodrigo. can be read as a gender neutral reader

----

we broke up a month ago

your friends are mine you know, i know

you've moved on, found someone new

one more girl who brings out the better in you

you stared longingly as you watched the boy you’ve loved for years laugh with a girl you used to call your friend. that used to be you. tucked under his arm and laughing as you ate.

it had been a month now and you still couldn’t even bear the thought of food. you pushed the lunch around your plate as you blinked away the tears. your friends were his friends. and now you had no one. you sat in a sad silence at meals, if you even went at all. he’s moved on... and now you have to as well.

at the sound of his laugh you pushed the plate away from yourself. giving up on yet another meal, you stood from the table and collected your things. silently, you walked out of the great hall and returned to your dorm. he’s moved on... you have to find it in yourself to do the same.

and i thought my heart was detached

from all the sunlight of our past

but she's so sweet, she's so pretty

does she mean you forgot about me?

the boy was still your potions partner. no matter how much you had implored the cold and emotionless man that you call a professor to just please let you sit anywhere else in the class. he wouldn’t let you. even when you told him the situation. even when you explained to him what happened. even when you broke down crying in front of the man, begging for him to just please move your seat. he just stared back at you indifferently.

now here you sat, watching the pair shamelessly flirting across the room. your heart stopped beating against your ribcage and your lungs refused to take in air as you saw a small paper butterfly fly across the room and land on her desk. that was your thing. you attempted to shake away the feeling of your heart breaking into millions of tiny pieces as you continued to stir the cauldron.

you moved to ask the boy a question, but you saw he was already in conversation with the new love of his life. the way he stared at her with so much adoration in his eyes shattered your heart even further. that used to be you. you breathed deeply, keeping the tears at bay as you spun on your heel and decided to get the valerian root that you needed on your own.

this was so stupid. now he has a new girlfriend and suddenly you don’t even exist anymore? what should you care though? you aren’t even together anymore. he can be in love with anyone he wants to be. just not her... merlin’s beard, not her.

and now i'm pickin' her apart

like cuttin' her down will make you miss my wretched heart

but she's beautiful, she looks kind

she probably gives you butterflies

you sat against a tree at the black lake, studying for your upcoming charms exam when you heard the unmistakable sound of his beautiful laughter. when you turned your head, there they sat. at your tree. talking and laughing.

you stared for a while longer, trying to find something. anything. a blemish. a scar. a flaw. but you couldn’t. she was gorgeous. everything you wished to be. everything you wanted to be. especially now that she was his.

nothing will heal your heart now. he’s replaced you. and you have to live with that. he was your everything. and now he’s nothing. beautiful strangers is all that the two of you had succumbed to after nearly three years together. you’d done everything together. he was your first everything. and now he’s nothing but a stranger. cutting her down won’t make him miss you. nothing will.

he’s not coming back. he never will...

i hope you're happy

just not like how you were with me

you love him enough to want his happiness. you need him to be happy. at least for you. if you can’t be happy, at least he can be.

a simmer of a smile graced your lips as you watched from a distance at the way he smiled with her. you hoped that she at least made him happy... just not happy like he was with you.

you hoped that nobody would ever make him feel the way you could.

i'm selfish, i know, can't let you go

so find someone great, but don't find no one better

they were good together. they looked good together. what else would you expect from the two people deigned the star couple of hogwarts. he found someone amazing. you could only hope that she wasn’t better than you were now.

a selfish hope... but a hope nonetheless.

i hope you’re happy but don’t be happier...

[drarrily-we-row-along]

Veritaserum (Part 7)

Here we are friends, the next installment! If you haven't read the other parts I recommend that you either jump over to AO3 to read it or start at Part 1. I'm anticipating there will be three more chapters (maybe four?) and am hoping to have it all finished up by the first few weeks in August. Enjoy!

--------------

"Harry," Draco called as he entered the house, the comforting scent of the herbs in his greenhouse still clinging to him. "Could we order some lemon tree saplings?"

There was no response, so he wandered through into the living room and saw Harry sitting at the desk with a file spread out, papers in stacks and piles, as he read through a letter. He was rubbing his forehead like he was getting a tension head ache.

"What's wrong?" Draco asked, coming around to look over Harry's shoulder.

Harry looked up, seemingly surprised to see that Draco was here. "I got a letter from Hermione," he said, offering the letter to Draco. "She's gotten them to agree to a trial."

"Well that's good news, isn't it?" Draco asked.

"It's tomorrow."

He blinked and took the letter from Harry's hand, skimming through it, "She seems to feel pretty confident."

The other man hummed and went back to looking at the notes spread across the desk, "I don't know," he replied, gesturing to the notes he had spread across his desk. "Here are the case notes Hermione sent over. She's hopeful, but..." he trailed off.

"But?" he asked as he conjured a chair and started looking through the case notes.

Harry sighed and Draco turned his head to watch as he pulled his curls up into a messy bun. "I don't trust them," he said flatly. "There's no nice way to say it. But I don't."

"That's sad," Draco teased as he picked up the notes again, "Aren't you supposed to be the paragon of hope and optimism?"

He bumped Draco's shoulder with his own and a thrill ran through his belly. "Shut it." He shook his head, "What were you asking when you came in?"

"Lemon trees," he murmured distractedly, "But it can wait."

(Read more below the cut)

"Right," Harry replied, shoulders drooping a bit, "Well, I'm going to go make some lunch."

"Is it okay if I look at these?" Draco asked.

Harry's brow furrowed as though he couldn't understand the question, "Of course," he replied, "Let me know what you think."

-------------

Draco spent most of the day going through case notes, reading about his own case, about the cases that set helpful precedents, and about all of the research Granger had done. "Merlin, but she was thorough," Draco said later on, rubbing his eyes to try to get rid of the headache that was hovering near his temples.

"Here," Harry said, handing him a cup of tea. Then as he sat down on the couch he asked, "What do you think?"

"She seems to be very prepared," he said.

Harry nodded slowly, "But do you think that we'll win?"

He hesitated, Harry was really invested in the results of this trial he couldn't let his pessimism sway the other man. He sighed, "Honestly?"

The other man nodded, bracing himself as though he was expecting to get hit with a curse.

"I don't know," he confessed. "They really don't like me, the Ministry wants to make an example of me but they have you on the other side of this. I'm sure that they're weighing your value to them against the 'lesson' that incarcerating me will teach others."

Harry scowled.

"Hey," Draco said, setting down the papers and moving over to sit next to Harry. He bumped his knee against the other man's, "No matter what it'll be better than what you rescued me from."

With a huff, Harry replied, "That's not very reassuring."

"Let's talk about something else," Draco suggested, he couldn't bear to see the sour look on Harry's face for another minute and if this was going to be the last night he spent here, he didn't want to spend it worrying.

"Alright," Harry conceded, blowing out a breath. "Tell me what you were thinking about planting in your garden."

-------------

Draco dressed carefully the next morning, putting on a pair of slacks and a pale blue button up shirt, carefully combing his hair into place and using the shaving spell his father had taught him years ago. He stared at himself in the mirror for a moment before he wandered outside to look out over the ocean.

His chest ached as the tide rolled in and the waves trailed over his toes, the warm breeze ruffling his hair brought tears stinging the back of his eyes. And Harry, Merlin, Harry; the bottom of his stomach dropped out and his chest felt tight at the thought of leaving him, he was never going to see him again after today.

It was almost enough to make him beg Harry to let him stay. Almost enough to make him ask if they could just forget about this farce of a trial and spend the rest of their lives here. Together.

But he had to go, there was no choice. It was selfish to think of staying, to imagine trapping Harry here away from his friends and family, away from the world that he'd saved.

"Hey," Harry murmured behind him.

"Hey," Draco replied, glancing at him over his shoulder. The dark circles under his eyes indicating Harry had slept as poorly as he had. "It's going to be alright," Draco assured him.

Harry hummed. "We could just stay here, you know," he said softly. "We don't have to go back at all."

His heart twisted painfully and he had to take a deep breath before he could trust the words about to come out of his mouth. "They'll never stop hunting me, Harry. And they'll never let you come back to the Wizardng World if you don't take me back now."

"I don't care!" Harry exclaimed and the gulls that had been on the beach near the house took off, flapping their wings to lift into the air and away from the noise. "Draco, I don't care," he repeated.

Draco turned fully to look at him, "Your bravery has always been your undoing."

Harry looked down and slowly reached for Draco's hand and Draco stopped breathing as their fingers slotted together. "I'm not sure about this," Harry said, squeezing his fingers.

"I'm not either. But we have to try," he said. Then with a little smile he added, "Besides, your friends will never forgive you if you don't let Hermione use all the things she's been working on."

Harry let out a tiny huff of a laugh, "You're not wrong about that." He shook his head and released Draco's hand, "I'm going to grab the portkey."

After he went inside, Draco turned and wandered one last time through the greenhouse that Harry had built for him. Admiring the work bench and the cupboards, brushing his fingers through the ferns and inhaling deeply near the lavender. Consciously trying to store all of the sun, and fresh air, and plants away for the dark days ahead.

When he emerged, Harry was standing there waiting with and old hat in his hands, "Ready?"

Draco nodded, then he said, "Before we go," Harry's eyes snapped to his. "I just wanted to say thank you for all of this," he said, gesturing around him to the little slice of heaven he'd enjoyed living in for the past few weeks. "And thank you for saving me."

Harry's eyes filled a bit and Draco cleared his throat and looked away, trying to keep himself from crying.

"I will never forget what you did for me," he said and then he held out his wand, "Would you keep this for me?" he asked.

He watched Harry's adam's apple bob as he reached out and took it.

"Then if everything goes well you can just hand it back and if it doesn't," he shrugged one shoulder, "At least I'll know it's with a friend."

Before he could say anything else, Harry was pulling him into his arms and wrapping him in a tight hug. "We don't have to do this," Harry murmured. "Say the word and we'll stay right here. I'll order your lemon trees, I'll-"

Draco pressed a quick kiss to Harry's cheek, "You're a good person, Harry Potter," he said before pulling back and clearing his throat.

"So that's a no, then?" Harry asked.

The corner of his mouth tilted up, "That's a no, but thank you."

With a nod, Harry turned and headed into the greenhouse to hide Draco's wand away. "I'm not turning in your wand when they check us in at the Ministry," he grumbled. Then he looked at Draco for a long moment, "You're sure?"

"As sure as I'll ever be."

After another long pause, Harry nodded once and activated the portkey. Draco took one last, longing look at the only house that had ever really felt like home before he was being whisked away to a trial that Draco couldn't ever imagine would have a good outcome.

----------------

Veritaserum Prompt Part 1 Veritaserum Prompt Part 2 Veritaserum Prompt Part 3 Veritaserum Prompt Part 4 Veritaserum Prompt Part 5 Veritaserum Prompt Part 6

[hxlyhead-harpies]

Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of You (R.L.)

Requested: Yes

Pairing: Remus Lupin x Reader

Summary: The reader can’t stop staring at Remus and he doesn’t understand why

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings: Mentions of injury and bullying, cursing

Title from: Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of You by Franki Valli

The library was full and bustling with students. You sat near the back, your assignments sprawled out in front of you. And while your quill floated above your parchment, dark ink sliding off of the tip, your eyes were trained on someone across the room, your essay forgotten.

Remus Lupin sat on the other side of the library, surrounded by books and his friends. You watched as his eyebrows drew down in concentration and how he flexed his hand as he thought. The habit was familiar to you as you watched Remus quite often. It wasn’t in a creepy way but in a sad lovesick way. You were a Slytherin and the boy who had garnered your affection was a Gryffindor so it seemed as if the only way to know him was to watch him. The old house rivalry stopped most Gryffindors and Slytherins from ever interacting, so you soaked up Remus in any way that you could. So you found yourself watching him at meals and during class. You almost felt bad for how often your eyes were on him, you were almost surprised that you hadn’t burned holes into him from your stare. But to be fair, with Remus, there was a lot to look at.

Remus was tall and lanky with surprisingly broad shoulders. He was often slouched and when he was tired he’d roll his shoulders back and stretch. His hair was a golden brown with slight curls spilling from his head. It often flopped in his face when it got long and he was constantly running his fingers through it. His fingers were long and nimble with the nails bitten down and callouses against his fingertips. You often found yourself imagining what it would feel like if he slipped his hand into yours and if they were as rough as they looked or if the skin was soft. 

At this moment, you found yourself staring at his scars. The way they zigzagged across his exposed skin; one down his neck, one down his cheek, carving out his high cheekbone, and one running through his left eyebrow. You thought his scars were beautiful, adding a hint of ruggedness that juxtaposed his soft nature. You wondered how he felt about them and you wished from deep in your soul that he didn’t hate them. 

You knew how easy it was to hate scars. You had a nasty one that ran from the back of your knee down to your ankle, gently curving around your calf. You had gotten it when an older student had pushed you down in the courtyard in your third year. You had fallen back into a bush and your skin had gotten caught on a branch. While the pain of the injury faded, the pain of the memory had not. You wished, however naively, that the memories of his scars didn’t cause him too much pain.

He looked up from his book and caught your eye. The second he noticed your staring he glowered back at you. You flushed deeply and looked away. You had been caught staring a few times now and you had a feeling that he had found out about your feelings towards him. You nervously tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and continued with your essay. 

The next time you saw Remus was in potions class. His friends had dragged him over to the table next to yours and you could only assume it was because Lily was your partner. You heard them bickering quietly as they came over.

“Do we really have to sit by them?” Remus hissed under his breath. James huffed.

“Yes, we do, Lily is over there. Now’s my chance,” he muttered back. Remus made eye contact with you and you pretended not to notice when he rolled his eyes despite the pang in your chest. James gave Lily an exaggerated wave and she just scoffed before turning back to you. 

You had met Lily through Severus since he was in your house. He wasn’t your favorite person, you found him a bit creepy and his crush on Lily seemed to be a tad obsessive, but you were grateful that he had introduced you to the redhead. The two of you became fast friends, you loving her sharp wit and her loving your ambition and drive. 

Lily started talking to you about the upcoming Hogsmeade trip when James called out her name.

“Oi, Lily,” he said with a smirk, “are you really consorting with the enemy?” he asked, gesturing towards you. You felt your cheeks burn and you ducked your head. 

“Oh sod of James,” she replied, “Why must you always be so immature?” You smiled slightly at her words. You turned to look back up at the boys. James’s face was flushed with embarrassment at Lily’s words and Peter and Sirius were laughing at him. You stole a glance at Remus to see him glaring at you. You frowned and looked away. 

You sat in the Gryffindor common room with Lily while you worked on your potions project. It was getting late but the two of you wanted to finish the project early. Lily had offered that you spend the night in her room and you had agreed. You weren’t a fan of your dormmates anyway and would jump at any chance to spend a night away from them. They were loud and brash and had no issue with loudly proclaiming their thoughts on blood supremacy. It made your skin crawl.

“Ugh I have to go to the bathroom, I’ll be right back,” Lily said, setting aside her book. You sent her a quick smile as she got up. When she was gone you continued working on your assignment. The portrait hole swung open and Remus walked in, seemingly coming back from his rounds. His eyes narrowed at the sight of you. 

“How did you get in here?” he asked harshly. You shrunk under his gaze. 

“Lily invited me. We’re doing school work,” you explained, gesturing down at your work. He crossed his arms.

“Where is she then?” he questioned. You shrugged.

“She’s in the bathroom,” you replied. 

“I think you should leave,” he responded. Your eyes widened.

“What?” you exclaimed.

“You should leave. You shouldn’t even be in here in the first place,” he pushed. 

“Now just wait a minute, Lily and I-”

“I really don’t care. Just get out of the common room and go back to the dungeons,” he said, practically sneering. Your mouth hung open in shock.

You had liked Remus because of how soft and kind he appeared to be. Everyone loved him and it was because he always wore a compassionate smile and had understanding eyes. But it appeared that you clearly would never be on the receiving end of his kindness.

“What is your problem?” you asked, feeling anger building in your chest. He rolled his eyes.

“You’re breaking the rules, you need to leave,” he retorted. 

“I’m not talking about just this, what is your problem with me? You always treat me so poorly and I can’t seem to figure out why,” you answered. Remus scoffed. 

“I don’t have a problem with you,” he said, folding his arms across his chest. 

“So you just have a problem with Slytherin’s then?” you spat, venom filling your voice. Remus’s jaw clenched. 

“I don’t particularly like blood supremacists and Voldemort sympathizers so I guess I do have a problem with Slytherins,” he said. You laughed. 

“You can’t honestly think that we’re all-”

“Do you know how many dark wizards have come out of Slytherin?” he asked, narrowing his eyes at you. “Because it’s quite a large number. And the way you seem to always be snooping around and staring makes me think you might be one yourself.” You gaped at him.

“You can’t actually be serious?” you sputtered. Remus shook his head.

“Just leave before I deduct any points,” he said quietly before turning towards the stairs. You stood up from your seat on the couch.

“Now wait just a minute, Lupin,” you practically yelled. He turned around with a clenched jaw. 

“What?” he spit out.

“There is nothing about Slytherin that is inherently evil! There is nothing evil about ambition or determination. Just because you have some twisted idea of what my house represents doesn’t mean that you’re right. I reckon that every house has the same chance of fostering evil. Blind bravery can be evil can’t it? And loyalty to the wrong person? And intelligence can be incredibly dangerous,” you shouted at him. Remus stared at his shoes. “And let’s not forget all the good wizards that have come from Slytherin! Professor Slughorn may be a bit odd but you can’t tell me that he’s not a good man. And for Godric’s sake! Merlin was a fucking Slytherin,” you yelled. Remus looked up at you.

“What about you then?” he asked with his arms crossed, “Where do you fall?” You swept a hand through your hair exasperatedly. 

“I’m not a dark wizard you dimwit! I don’t stare at you because I’m a spy or whatever dumb idea you came up with! I stare at you because I think that you’re bloody handsome,” you yelled. Remus’s eyes widened. 

“You- you what?” he sputtered. You groaned and began to gather your stuff. 

“Nothing, never mind,” you answered, shoving your parchment into your bag. Remus came up beside you and grabbed your arm.

“Wait,” he said, trying to get you to stop. You pulled your arm away. You turned to storm out of the portrait hole when Lily’s voice rang out into the room.

“Where are you going?” she asked, her eyebrows furrowed. You turned to Remus angrily. 

“Ask him,” you responded before storming off towards the dungeons. 

A few days later you were sitting by the black lake with a book in your hands when you felt a presence beside you. You looked up to see Remus with his hands in his pockets. You rolled your eyes. 

“What do you want Lupin?” you asked with venom lacing your voice.

“I wanted to apologize,” he said softly, digging his shoe into the grass. You sighed.

“And what do you want to apologize for, exactly?” you questioned with a raised brow. 

“I’m sorry for being so rude to you and for insinuating that you might work for Voldemort,” He answered sheepishly. You nodded. 

“Thank you,” you responded before turning back to your book, assuming that he’d walk away. Instead, he sat down beside you.

“I just- I saw you staring at me all of the time and I was confused as to why you’d even do that,” he began, “And you’re a Slytherin and I just assumed that you had some motive or something. It didn’t even cross my mind that you thought I was handsome,” he said with a slight smile. You blushed and looked away. 

“I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable,” you murmured, “I didn’t realize I was being so obvious.” You stared anywhere but him. 

“If I had known why you were looking at me, I wouldn’t have minded,” he said softly. You furrowed your eyebrows and looked up.

“Huh?” you said. He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. 

“If I had known that you fancied me I would’ve just talked to you instead of coming up with an idiotic conspiracy theory,” he admitted. You looked at your lap. 

“Oh.”

“And I feel so stupid for thinking that you could be so terrible. I had no grounds for it other than a dumb stereotype. I’m really sorry,” he said. You turned to him.

“It’s alright I suppose. I just don’t understand how you jumped to the conclusion that I was some sort of spy because I was looking at you,” you said with a slight chuckle. Remus ducked his head.

“I don’t know, it never crossed my mind that you might like me. I’m not exactly much of a looker,” he replied. You furrowed your eyebrows.

“What are you talking about? I think you’re quite good-looking,” you admitted with a blush. A small smile played at Remus’s lips.

“Didn’t think that anyone would ever think that of me,” he said softly, his hand absentmindedly rubbing the scar on his cheek. You frowned and reached up to remove his hand from his face. You lifted your finger and traced along the scar, causing Remus to gulp and avert his eyes. 

“Well I think that you’re beautiful, every part of you,” you said as you finished tracing the pink line. His amber eyes were back on yours, a deep vulnerability shining in them. His eyes flickered down to your lips for a moment and you held your breath. Slowly, he began to lean in. 

He kissed you just as softly as you always imagined he would, though it felt better than you ever could have thought. His rough hand cupped your face while you tangled your hands in his silky hair. When the kiss broke you were breathless. You watched as he ran a hand through his hair and sent you a shy smile, his freckled cheeks flushed a beautiful shade of pink. Even now, you couldn’t take your eyes off of him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[readyplayerhobi]

Jung Hoseok and the Magic to Happiness | 05

; Hufflepuff Teacher!Hoseok x Reader

; Genre: Fluff, angst, future smut

; Word Count: 3.5k

; Synopsis: An unexpected issue with your Ministry of Magic job leads to you taking the role of Transfiguration Professor at Hogwarts. It’s here that you meet your best friend’s younger brother for the first time in years, the Hufflepuff Head of House, Jung Hoseok. While you contend with seeing him once again, Hoseok tries to show you that he’s very much a man and no longer the gangly teenager you once knew.

; A/N: Not as much of an ‘interesting’ chapter as the last one, but hopefully you’ll enjoy it all the same! I know some of you have been hoping to see this character and what their thoughts are all about what’s going on. This chapter is more of one that’s just self-assessing!

Last Chapter ; Next Chapter

-

You don’t go to breakfast the next morning. Not because you’re trying to avoid Hoseok or anything, but because you didn’t fall asleep until the early hours of the morning and so slept through the morning meal. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what had kept your mind occupied instead of letting you drift off.

Thankfully, no one questions your absence. It might be because most of the castle is likely sleeping in today or is packing for the Hogwarts Express. You don’t have to be present when the students begin their journey back to London and you feel that’s probably a good thing at the moment. 

The awkwardness between Hoseok and you would be excruciating for anyone to be around, particularly yourself. So you’d burrowed into your duvet when the usual alarm went off and only woke up properly around noon. 

You’re still in bed though, the covers pulled up to your chin and helping you to feel snug and warm against the constant coolness of your stone room. Which means that you’re staring up at the ceiling of your bedroom intently, brows furrowed as you think over the night before once more.

As if you haven’t already replayed every moment in excruciating detail, latching onto the most ridiculous things. For instance, you couldn’t stop thinking of what Hoseok’s lips looked like up close or the heady scent of him that no longer inspired only safety and friendship in you. How hot his hands had felt against you.

It was embarrassing how often that thought morphed into you imagining the same scenario but minus any clothes. Would his hands be warmer? Would they be as gentle as they’d been on your back last night? Would his hands feel soft on your bare skin or would you be able to feel the subtle callouses formed from years of caring for magical animals?

Groaning out loud, you roll onto your side and bury your face into your pillow. How are you meant to face him when all you can think about is the taste of him on your lips? 

A delicate chiming causes you to peek at your bedside cabinet, eyes narrowing as the noise repeats itself. You don’t even need to check to see who it is; you know already. So you reach out and blindly grasp for the magic mirror, eventually feeling your fingertips pressing against the smooth, reflective surface.

Now your grimace is more because you know that you’ve just smeared fingerprints all over. But you don’t get a chance to clean it because as soon as you look at the hand-sized surface, it activates with a gentle tinkling. The silver mirror shimmers slightly and you’re left looking at the image of Jisoo’s pretty face, smiling at you.

For a moment, you forget that you’ve not even bothered to get out of bed yet. You’ve not been able to shower, and the crustiness of your eyes tells you that your makeup wasn’t removed either. You’d obviously been in more of a fugue state than you’d realised when you’d gotten back to your quarters.

Normally it wouldn’t bother you as Jisoo has seen you in much worse states. But this had been caused by Hoseok, her brother. Her little brother. Her little brother who was incredibly attractive, a great kisser and had looked at you like you’d hung the stars when you’d pulled away from him.

As you think that, you immediately remember his annoyance at any topic relating to age and feel like hitting your forehead. Chaeyoung was right; he did like you. Merlin, how stupid were you to miss all those obvious signs he’d been giving? The poor guy had been practically shouting it from the rooftop for weeks now.

“I’m so stupid!” You curse, spitting out a few more severe swear words after that to the surprise of Jisoo. It’s not helped when you notice how similar they look, maturity making the familial genes even more prominent between the two. Just your luck.

“Hi...are you okay?” She asks, her brow furrowing in concern and you sigh deeply. Ignoring her question for a few seconds, you take the time to push yourself up the bed and fluff up the pillows, letting them act as a backrest for you to prop yourself up. A quick spell cleans your face and mouth, studiously ignoring the fact that it’s considered lazy to use magic for these kinds of tasks.

Still, you feel a little more refreshed and not like one of those zombies from muggle television shows.

Taking a deep breath, alongside a few swallows of water from the glass you always keep by your bed, you pick up the mirror once more and smile at Jisoo. It’s pretty obvious that she doesn’t buy it though and you didn’t expect her to. She’s known you too long to let you get away with pretending, so you drop it quickly.

“I’m...okay, I promise. I just...I’m a little confused about something.” You’re not entirely sure that you want to admit the fact that you might fancy her little brother just yet. Jisoo is very open-minded and she’d always thought Hoseok’s obvious feelings when he was younger had been cute. But the unrequited emotions of your teenage brother are very different from the mutual attraction between your adult brother and your adult best friend.

“Oh? Did something happen last night? Hoseok was acting a little strange as well when I talked to him earlier.” The urge to sink under the covers is very strong when you hear that, but you use pure will to remain in place.

Of course, they’d already talked. 

Scanning Jisoo’s face closely, you try to use your own best friend's sixth sense to see if she already knows that you’d kissed him last night. But she’s either a master of acting or she has no idea because there’s only genuine concern in her expression.

You feel the need to talk though and you want to do that with your best friend, even if she is Hoseok’s sister. The feelings you have are confused and you just want to try to sort through them all. 

“I kissed Hoseok last night.” The words rush out in a breath, almost mumbling with how quiet they are. Still, Jisoo hears them perfectly thanks to the spell on the mirror. From the way her eyes widen in shock, you know that Hoseok hasn’t revealed that little tidbit to her. Part of you wonder if that’s to protect your privacy, but you don’t get a chance to consider it further.

“Merlin...so that’s why you’re both being odd! What happened? It was the Winter Solstice Ball, right?” Relaxing back, you nod and make an affirmative noise while chewing on your lips.

“Yeah, it was. It was all going fine, the students were having a good time and all that but then Hoseok finally arrived and-” Pausing, you frown before groaning out and running a hand across your face. “You don’t want to hear this! This is your brother.”

“Ignore that. As long as you don’t give me...descriptive details then it’s fine. This is one time that I have no interest in hearing about how well he kisses or what he’s like in bed, so keep that to yourself. Otherwise, keep talking.” Mortification runs through you at Jisoo’s mischievous smile and she laughs in delight.

“We didn’t do that! I swear.” Muttering, you reach for your glass and take another swig in an attempt to give yourself time to get yourself under control. Partially because you’re embarrassed about Jisoo thinking you’d slept with her brother so quickly but also because you’re feeling a little warm at the thought of sex with him.

A thought that you’d likely come back to at a later time but isn’t something to consider right now.

“I didn’t think you had. Firstly, you’ve never been the kind of person to shag someone on the first date. Or before the first date, I guess, as you’ve not even had a date. Secondly, neither is Hoseok. Don’t ask how I know, I’m surprised he didn’t blurt this news out this morning.” One of your eyes narrows in contemplation at that and you realise that you don’t want to ask.

The idea of Hoseok sleeping with someone else causes an unpleasant sensation to bubble in your stomach. Something else you don’t feel like analysing at the moment.

“Okay...well...firstly, I hate the word ‘shag’ and you know it. Secondly, I’m really confused right now. I mean, objectively I’ve known Hoseok is hot. Like, I’m not stupid. I have eyes and he’s well...yeah. But I think I’d always managed to have some kind of barrier between us, you know? Like...he was your little brother and he was just my friend here. But then last night he came into the hall and Merlin. It was like something switched in my mind, and I finally realised that he’s not just attractive, but he’s...he’s my kind of attractive.” You realise halfway through talking that you’re just telling Jisoo your thought process as you go through it.

She doesn’t respond though, just gives a considerate look with her lips slightly pursed before taking a sip of her drink. You don’t know what she’s drinking as it’s a mug, the image on the front just a generic cat. The fact it’s not moving gives away that it’s a muggle creation.

“And then we just kept talking, all night. Even when we had duties, we kept meeting back up and it felt so natural and normal. It’s like I’ve known him for all my life or something, our conversation is so easy and I don’t feel uncomfortable around him. You ever have that with someone?”

“Once or twice. It’s a good sign though. I know you’ve become pretty good friends over the last few months so maybe that’s why it’s all clicking now. Relationships that start from a solid friendship usually end up being some of the best. Maybe that’s why it’s all feeling a little more natural than normal. You’ve found someone that makes you feel comfortable and safe.” You wonder how many times you’d told Jisoo that her brother inspired those feelings within you since being here at Hogwarts.

As that runs through your mind, you suddenly become distracted with an entirely different thought.

“Hang on, did you suspect that I might like him? You’ve always been very accepting of my friendship with him and if I remember right, you’ve been the one encouraging me to spend time with him. Is that why you’re not surprised at this?” Jisoo’s cheeks blush a pretty pink, so like her brother that you can’t help but smile.

“I may have suspected something. I am your best friend, after all. And his sister. When you’re close to both sides, you notice things.” Her voice is teasing and you wonder if other people have been suspecting this as well. 

Suddenly, all the times your fellow professors had arranged for events and Hoseok had happened to just be attending as well began running through your mind. Was everyone scheming?!

You’d never considered yourself a suspicious person before but you certainly were now. Seokjin and Chaeyoung, in particular, were going to be at the end of a very serious set of questions whenever you next saw them.

“In all seriousness, I didn’t think that you might like him. I just thought you were enjoying having a good friend at Hogwarts as Hoseok is someone you already know, so you at least had a link with him. You finding him nice to look at was expected; I’m not stupid, I know he’s pretty. He’s my brother and I’m gorgeous,” There’s a slight smirk to her smile, and you roll your eyes at her ego, fully recognising that she’s trying to cheer you up. “But you never really gave the inclination that you wanted anything romantic with him, so I didn’t suspect too much with you.”

Humming, your nose wrinkles as you look away from the mirror and contemplate her words. She’s not wrong, mainly because you hadn’t considered that with him until last night. Hoseok had been firmly in the friend box in your mind. It’s only now that you realise he’d been subtly creeping into the romantic box without you noticing.

“That’s because I didn’t realise I wanted that. I feel like I missed something really obvious, and everyone around me knew. I’m pretty sure Chaeyoung and Seokjin knew; there’s no way that they wouldn’t try to interfere. They’re those kinds of people, you know?” Jisoo giggles lightly, running her hand through long, silky black hair.

“Sounds like my kinda folk. Seriously though, don’t stress over it. All you’re going to do by over analysing things is get yourself tied up into knots. I know you and you’ll just talk yourself out of anything that could potentially happen. There’s nothing wrong with going for what you want if it’s going to be good for you. As his big sister, I can safely say that Hoseok will be very good for you and to you. He’s a good guy and I don’t want you to throw away a chance at happiness.” 

You groan yet again, pulling one of your spare pillows to stuff your face into. Even if you’re feeling completely confused about what to think or do, you’re glad that you get to talk it through with Jisoo. She always knows just what to say and how to help you come to decisions that felt right.

Shifting, you sit up straight and look at Jisoo’s image in the mirror, feeling even more thankful that she’s willing to talk about this particular subject. At that thought you frown, knowing that she’s close with her brother.

“Did you suspect anything with Hoseok? You said that you got to notice things from both sides…” Trailing off, your eyes narrow as you watch the way she bites her lip in an almost coy way. It wouldn’t surprise you as she knows her brother far better than she knows you.

“Yes, I did with him. He fancied you so much when he was a teenager and I thought he’d just...grown out of it, you know? Neither of you saw each other for ages so I just assumed his hormones had finally settled down. But then he practically jumped at the chance to help you apply for the job and...well, he’s being very obvious lately. I swear, every conversation has to include you in some way and he gets this look on his face.” Jisoo says, brow creasing as she thinks back.

“What look? Does he get a look? What kind of look?” The questions pepper her but she doesn’t look annoyed by them. Instead, she just smiles before laughing lightly, taking another sip from her mug before taking her time nibbling on a milk chocolate covered digestive biscuit. It makes you scowl, realising you’d given yourself away once more.

“Yes, he gets a look. I don’t know how to describe it to you but it’s like...he gets this smile and I swear his eyes get all shiny. He’d be appalled to know I’d noticed this as he’s never come out and said anything but I know what he looks like when he likes something. Hoseok talks about you the same way he talks about anything else he loves.” The last word makes your eyes widen and you’re thankful Jisoo doesn’t comment on it.

She’s noticed though, you know that she has. 

“Oh, okay. Well...I haven’t noticed.” What a stupid thing to say, but you don’t have anything else.

“Obviously.” Jisoo gives you a droll look, causing you to glare at her. It’s probably not as effective as you’d like given the two of you are hundreds of miles away and only visible through a reflective surface. Still, it makes her laugh at least.

Not the reaction you wanted but you’ll take it.

The conversation between you both falls into a lull, the silence of your room almost deafening. It lets you start to think once more and you don’t think that’s a good idea. Jisoo is right in that you tend to talk yourself out of things that might have a big impact on your life.

You’d taken a whole month to finally apply for the job here at Hogwarts and even then, you’d had to have Jisoo convince you that you should accept the offer when they made it. A good choice now, but you had a constant fear that big change might have negative effects on you.

The possibility of beginning something romantic with Hoseok was perhaps the biggest change you could do and it had the potential for so many repercussions if it went wrong. He was your work colleague, your friend and your best friend’s brother. It wasn’t like if you tried dating him then you could just never see him again.

Hoseok was likely to always be a part of your life in some way.

But he was such a good person and he could be something positive in your life, too. You found him to be charming and kind, funny and thoughtful, intelligent and attractive. There were a lot of reasons against trying a relationship with him, but there were so many more reasons for it.

“Would it not bother you? If anything happened then you’d be stuck between us, and he’s your brother so you’d have to take his side.” Your words are quiet, almost reluctant. Jisoo doesn’t respond immediately though, giving you the benefit of thinking seriously about your question before shaking her head.

“I would be stuck between you both if it ended badly. But I don’t either of you are the kinds of people to make me choose something like that. More importantly, I have high hopes that kind of scenario won’t even happen. I have a good feeling about this, for both of you. You both have to decide what’s right for you but...I don’t have any issue with it. If anything, it’d be great. My best friend and my brother getting together? If you married him then you’d be my sister-in-law and your kids would be my nieces and nephews!” There’s palpable excitement in her voice now, matched by the way she almost vibrates as her imagination runs wild.

You, on the other hand, feel your cheeks going warm with embarrassment as you try to follow where her mind is running. It feels a little overwhelming if you’re being honest, but you just push those thoughts away.

The last thing you needed was to start fantasising about marriage when you’d only kissed the man once.

“Jisoo!” You scold.

“What? I don’t get to live this life of romance so let me have my dreams. I’d rather you marry him than anyone else. Your babies would be so cute.” She wriggles in her seat, hands clapping and you’re reminded once more how similar the siblings are.

“Jisoo,” Whining, you pout at her before rubbing at your temple. “Don’t marry us off before we’ve even talked after last night.”

“Fine, fine, spoilsport. Anyway, it’s your decision. Yours and his. But just know that I think you’d both be good together. Don’t push him away because you’re scared, he’s a good guy. Not saying that just because he’s my brother, either. If you decide no, then don’t be afraid of that either. I know him, he’ll be a gentleman and will accept it.” You know she’s right and it makes you feel a little better as you take a deep breath.

Nodding slowly, you give her a weak smile before wincing when your stomach gurgles almost painfully. A glance at the clock shows that it’s been a very, very long time since you last ate and your stomach is not happy with that. 

“I’ll think it through, I promise. I won’t make any rash decisions. For now, I need to just analyse my feelings and thoughts regarding him before thinking about anything else. But I’ll admit that I’m not opposed to the idea. As much as I’d like to continue this conversation though, I need to go get something to eat or my stomach might eat itself. I’ll talk to you again later, okay?” It’s only a few minutes later before you’re ending the spell on the mirror, watching as it turns into a reflective surface once more.

Placing it onto your bedside table carefully, you let yourself fall back onto the mound of pillows and simply stare up at the ceiling. 

Of all the decisions you’ve made in your life, this one seemed to be the most daunting. Yet just the thought of his bright smile makes your lips quirk automatically, causing you to let out a breathy laugh.

Yes, he’d be good for you.

[deadpcnned]

let’s talk about... sex? you&me? (s.b. x reader)

pairing: sirius black x reader 

summary: sirius and y/n struggle with the two things that make a relationship. sex and communication. 

warning(s): mentions of sex, uh i guess “steamy” scenes but no smut, sirius is written possibly ooc, also kinda angst ? 

word count:  6.7k 

a/n: this is sort of a mess but i enjoyed it anyway so oh well :p ALSO if you think anything i wrote in this is unconsensual in anyway pls lmk i do not support that AT ALL. anywayy here’s my first fic on this account hehe

A giggle left Y/N’s swelling lips as Sirius lowered her onto his bed. It had been luck that none of his dorm mates were there, but he was pretty sure he wouldn’t have cared if they had been. Not when the girl in front of him was letting out such beautiful labored breaths, a sound that only he got to hear. 

Y/N reconnected her lips to his, bringing her hand to cup the back of his neck. Sirius’ lips left hers again, but she didn’t have to let out the whine that was at the back of her throat as he began to nip at the skin of her neck, immediately turning it into a strangled moan. Tilting her head she allowed him to pepper straggled kisses down her neck to the exposed skin of her shoulder that peeked out from her jumper. Or rather his jumper. One of his hands gave him support as he hovered over her, while the other was pressed firmly to her side. He let the pad of his thumb rub circles into more exposed skin and Y/N felt the knot in her stomach grow. It was as though she couldn’t get enough of him. Her hands moved down from behind his neck to start unbuttoning his dress shirt. Sirius began to pull away from her neck but she quickly caught his lips in hers, causing him to smile against her. Her desperate kisses let him know just how badly she needed him. But as he pulled back again, he shifted his body so that he was now laying beside her, his arms sprayed out above him. 

Y/N’s eyebrows furrowed at the sudden lack of touch and she turned to Sirius with questioning eyes, “Are you okay?” 

“Hmm,” Sirius looked at her with his eyebrows shot up, as if the sudden shift of energy was completely normal. “Oh yah, of course, love. ‘M just tired. Wanna cuddle?” 

No. Y/N didn’t want to cuddle. Not when she could still feel his hands on every part of her he had touched and the effects of those touches on the parts he was yet to. But if Sirius was tired, then that was fine. It was actually only right. So she quietly rested her head on his shoulder (not missing the way he stiffened for a second), finding a different kind of pleasure in the way his fingers eventually began to run through her hair. 

It had been a few days since the awkward occurrence and Sirius seemed to be making it a point to do virtually everything in public. Every second that he had to spend with Y/N alone, he always seemed to be suggesting they spend it in some public area. Studying? The library. A walk? Near the quidditch field, where his mates seemed to interrupt every few minutes. But now they were running back hand in hand straight into the common room, trying to make sure they reached before Filch caught up to them. Their laughs were loud and their breath heavy as they ran through the portrait hole. Sirius collapsed onto the common room couch, not paying much mind to how empty the common room was. 

“I’ve got to hand it to you, Y/N/N,” Sirius spoke, still attempting to catch his breath. “Ditching potions to try to sneak into the kitchens was bloody worth it. Even if Filch might still be on our arse.”

Y/N chuckled as she stood across from the dark haired boy, taking in the site of him. He had shut his eyes and was clutching his stomach with one of his arms while the other was extended across the right side of the sofa. He was smiling, though, indicating that he truly did enjoy their endeavour. Merlin, he was beautiful. 

“If it was such a good idea,” drawled Y/N, her legs slowly carrying her closer to the Gryffindor boy. “Why don’t you give me a treat?” Sirius’ eyes snapped open as he felt her fall into his lap and her hands cup his shoulders. 

“After all, I didn’t really get that dessert…” she spoke, looking at him through her lashes. Sirius gulped, as he hesitantly wrapped one hand around her waist. Before Sirius could convince himself otherwise, he was responding to her. 

“You’re right,” He rasped. “Bloody Filch. How am I gonna treat my girl?” At this point their noses were brushing against each other, lips mere inches apart. 

“Mm, I have a few ideas,” Without another word, Y/N connected their lips. Her right hand weaved itself through his black hair and he let out a groan as she tugged on it. His hand had snuck under her robe, traveling up to her bare thigh as it reached the edge of her skirt. As Y/N realized Sirius made no plan to go further, she decided to take initiative. Pulling her lips away, she inched closer once again, lightly biting his bottom lip. Sirius gasped and she stuck her tongue into his mouth. Sirius didn’t even try to fight for any form of dominance as her tongue explored his mouth. All he could focus on was the way her hand was clutching his shoulder so tightly and the noises she was letting out against him. She moved her hand from his neck down his chest, and slowly (so slowly that Sirius wondered if he might’ve imagined it) she let her fingers barely brush past his crotch. But Sirius was sure he wasn’t imagining the way he was hardening underneath her. He quickly brought his hand to her neck, pulling her back and effectively disconnecting their lips. 

“Wha-” Y/N yelped, as Sirius set her beside him and jumped up from the couch. 

“Y/N! I completely forgot, James and I thought of this wicked prank!” Y/N hazily stared at the grinning boy, still trying to pull herself down from the high she had been experiencing. 

“Sirius, why don’t you tell me about it with James… you know, later.” She had a pout on her face, but Sirius laughed ignoring it. 

“Yes, let’s go right now. I’m pretty sure him and Peter are headed to the library after class.” He grabbed her hand but she halted his movements, causing him to look back at her with a confused expression. 

“There’s still an hour before classes end. We can’t go back right now.”

“Oh it’ll be fine, we can just go to the last of our classes,” Sirius began to walk, but was stopped once again by a quiet voice. 

“That’s alright. You should, um, go back to class. I think I’m going to head up to my dorm.” Sirius cringed at the way Y/N’s voice cracked at the end of her sentence, but he made no effort to show her he noticed. He nodded, his shit-eating grin unwavering. As she quietly went up the stairs Sirius sat back down on the couch, dropping his head into his hands. 

Upstairs, Y/N wiped her unwanted tears as she sat down on her bed. Sirius and Y/N had been together for nearly a month, which may not have been very long, but they had been pining after each other for a year and for even longer subconsciously. She was more than ready to go farther than just kissing with Sirius, but he seemed to be on a completely different page. Of course, Y/N didn’t mind that the guy she felt so deeply for wasn’t ready to go farther. In fact, she wanted him to feel more than comfortable when they did get there. What bothered her was that it was Sirius that she felt deeply for. Sirius Orion Black, the infamous lady’s man. He had slept with so many girls at Hogwarts that he had lost track (no really, he tried to keep a list when he had first lost his virginity). The same Sirius Black that had told Y/N that it was childish of her to not talk about sex with him because it was “completely natural and something friends talk about” when they were fourteen, was now making no move to do anything of the sorts. How was she not supposed to feel insecure when he had been thinking of James Potter while making out with her? What the fuck. 

Despite her insecurities and, frankly, her sexual frustration, Y/N had put her qualms aside by the next day. If Sirius wasn’t willing to have sex yet, that was completely his decision and she had to respect that. So, she sauntered into one of the classes they shared seating herself down next to him and kissing him on the cheek. She playfully winked at James who was glaring at her (he hadn’t quite forgiven the couple for kicking him out of his spot next to his best mate). 

“Hey,” Sirius said cautiously. “I didn’t see you at breakfast.”

“I overslept,” Y/N responded honestly. “I missed you though.” She grinned cheekily at the boy in front of her as she rested her arms on the table in front of her, resting her head on top. 

Sirius chuckled, scoffing, “Yah? You saw me yesterday.” He carefully watched her to see her reaction to him referencing the previous afternoon. But when her smile remained intact, he felt himself relax. She wasn’t angry. 

“I know. What can I say, you have that effect on me.” Sirius’ smile grew even larger, which Y/N didn’t think was possible but was so glad it was. “We’re still on for tomorrow right?”

“Obviously,” Sirius rolled his eyes, jokingly. “I would never miss a date with my girl.”

“Never? Be careful, Black. That’s a deadly promise.”

As the next day rolled by, Sirius found himself knocking on the young girl’s dorm. The door opened to reveal red hair and a pointed look. Lily stared at the boy in front of her and seemed to be sizing him up. 

“Lily?”

“Yes?”

“Um, is Y/N there?”

The red-head narrowed her eyes and carefully said, “she’s just finishing up in the bathroom… So where are you taking my friend, Black?” 

“Oh, c’mon, Lily. Don’t act like a stranger,” Sirius scoffed, obviously referring to the pair's very close friendship. Lily, who — though she’d never admit it— knew she was being a tad bit dramatic, kept her face stoic as she replied. 

“Well, when you date my best friend, this is the Lily you have to deal with. You chose this, Black.”

“If it means I get to date the girl of my dreams, I’d say it's an easy price to pay,” Sirius cheesily spoke, but the look on his face was genuine enough to elicit a positive reaction from his red headed friend.

“Good answer, Black. You’re welcome to come in,” Lily smiled, rolling her eyes. 

“Why, thank you. That’s very thoughtful of you, Potter.” Howling with laughter, Sirius dodged the pillow Lily harshly chucked at him from her bed (“I will never be a Potter!”). Sirius placed himself on Y/N’s tidied up bed and found himself smiling at her corner. He had been here multiple times before, but something felt so different now. Suddenly the muggle nightlight she kept between the corner of her bed and her night stand made his heart beat faster. And now getting to see the moving pictures of her friends and her lining her walls was a reminder of how lucky he was to be accepted into her life. And the poster of some famous wizard made his stomach turn with jealousy. Every mundane thing about her side of the room, had him spiraling out of control. 

“You didn’t have to meet me here, I could’ve just come to the common room,” Y/N’s voice pulled him out of his head and he shot up taking her in. She had a short white dress adorning her body and a carnation pink cardigan in her hand. Her hair was pulled into a loose ponytail, defining her cheekbones that carried a light blush. She looked gorgeous. She was gorgeous. 

“Thought I’d pick you up from your door like in those muggle movies you like.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s not exclusively a muggle thing, but still very thoughtful, nonetheless,” Y/N mused, leaning up to kiss her boyfriend. 

“Yes, please pretend I’m not here.” Laughing, Y/N pulled back from Sirius. Apologizing to Lily, the couple left hand in hand. 

“Alright, babe, what’s the plan for today?” Sirius inquired, his hand quickly wrapping around Y/N’s shoulders pulling her closer. 

“Right, so since we still have class tomorrow, I know we can’t go anywhere, really. But I wanna show you something special. ”

“Ooo, somewhere special you say? Now tell me, where can my precious Y/N be taking me?” 

“You’ll just have to see,” Y/N winked up at the boy. 

Y/N’s destination had been the herbology greenhouse, which had sparked a lot of questions from Sirius. She explained that she had asked a professor to let the two of them spend some time there if they promised not to touch any of the plants. At first, Sirius had begged Y/N to let him steal some of the ingredients he needed for an upcoming prank he had planned on Severus, but quickly quieted down when he saw the disappointed look on his girlfriend's face. As he finally started to listen, she began to explain why the two of them were here. The night had ended with the two deciding to sneak some leftover dinner out of the kitchen and eat it in the astronomy tower. 

Huddled under James’ invisibility cloak, the teenagers tried to keep their giggles at a minimum.

“Oh, would you stop knocking your head into mine?”

“Me?! You stop!”

Finally, after a lot of hushing and, as a result, even louder laughs, they had made it into the Astronomy tower and were now situated on the floor. The pair ate their dinner in a comfortable silence, each of them reflecting on how they had felt that day. Sirius felt loved. They hadn’t shared the three words yet, but there was no other way to explain it. It felt like he had finally found the light out of the tunnel that he had been running through for the past six years, ever since the Sorting Hat had placed him in the house that bled red and gold. He felt loved, safe, worthy. And that terrified him. Throughout the last six years, all he had heard was that he ruined everything. The taunts came from the only other woman he had ever loved. Yes, it was in a very different way but it was his mother. He loved her and all she had ever done was tell him he didn’t deserve the same in return. But as he looked at Y/N as she silently gazed at the stars in front of her, he knew she would never hurt him like that. She was here to stay. Despite this, he still couldn’t bring himself to do the one thing he was yearning to do. 

However, Y/N wasn’t on the same page. She began to move her hand up and down Sirius’s thigh as she rested her head on his shoulder, peering up at him. “Sirius?”

“Hm?” But he never got a reply, instead having her capture his lips in a sloppy manner. She shifted so she was propped back on her elbows and Sirius responded by laying her down further.  After a few more moments Sirius could feel that this was once again headed in a direction he had been avoiding. His suspicions were confirmed when Y/N let her fingers play with the hem of his sweater, as if waiting for him to give her some form of permission. As she waited, she brought one of his hands to rest low on her inner thigh, giving him access to move it where he wished. Sirius’ mind was yelling for him to pull away, but as he looked at her laying beneath him he couldn’t help but give into his desires. His hand disappeared under her white dress and pinched at the soft skin of her thigh. Y/N let out a whimper as he began to rub circles in addition to occasionally pulling at the skin. Sirius pulled his lips away at the same time that he moved his hand to rub against her lace underwear. He couldn’t believe the sight in front of him. Y/N had her eyes squeezed shut as she let out quiet moans at the way his fingers were moving against her core. Sirius’ lips trailed down her throat as he considered what was happening. There Y/N was, underneath him, her arousal pooling in his hands, and her breaths showing just how desperately she needed him, and yet he couldn’t go through with what he wanted. Sirius opened his eyes and - somehow surprisingly to Y/N - pulled away, heaving. But Y/N figured if he wasn’t going to respond to her physical hints, she would just use her words. 

“We don’t have to stop,” Y/N mumbled, resting her hand on his cheek as she stared into the swirling storm of his eyes. 

“No, that’s okay.” Taken aback by his brashness, Y/N let a few minutes pass before she spoke. Everything in her mind was telling her it was a bad idea to voice her concerns, but she had to at least communicate with her fucking boyfriend. 

“Sirius?”

“Yes, love,” Sirius was looking out the window, his arms now extended behind him propping him up. 

“Why won’t you fuck me?” Sirius’ eyes snapped up to Y/N’s, a look of pure shock on his face. She wanted to run away and never meet his eyes again, but she held her ground. This was normal. Couples talked. 

“I- what? I’m not not - I don’t,” Sirius blabbered before he was cut off by Y/N.

“Don’t bother denying it. I mean you’ve been avoiding doing anything past making out, which is fine! I just… i just wanna know why, is all.” Her gaze was stuck on the ground as she whispered the last part.

“I don’t know what to say,” Sirius said, dumbfounded. 

“Um, I guess - well, are you uncomfortable? Are you not ready yet?” Y/N’s suggestion was innocent, but all Sirius heard were accusations. Sirius wasn’t necessarily the most mature lad and Y/N implying he was nervous about having sex (one of the things he prided himself on knowing best) seemed like an attack to his pride. 

“What? Of course not. I am not the least bit unready.”

“Oh, great then! If you’re worried about me, then you don’t need to be. I’m ready too, Sirius. I really want you.” FUCK. Sirius’ bloody ego had gotten in the way of his only decent excuse as to why he wouldn’t have sex with his own girlfriend. Who was now even closer to Sirius, a welcoming smile on her face. 

“N-no. I mean I’m ready but…” 

Y/N stared at Sirius unsure of what to do. This was definitely the most awkward moment the two had found themselves in in all the years they had known each other. Staring for a couple more seconds, Y/N leaned closer only to have Sirius lightly push her back. 

“Siri-”

“I DON’T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU, Y/N!” He had uprooted from his spot and was now staring down at the girl, making her feel like an irritating child. She slowly rose up from her spot, tears now brimming her eyes as she looked at Sirius.

“Oh… so it’s me.”

“No.” Upon her eyes looking at him with a little more hope he quickly sputtered out, “I mean, yes. Yes, it’s you.” And just like that, tears were streaming down her face. She quickly ran around the slender boy, invisibility cloak be damned. Sirius’ shouts be damned. 

The next morning, Y/N had decided what had to be done. She greeted Lily with a smile as she normally would. She got ready for class as she normally would. And went down to meet up with Remus (who had a tendency to wake up late, just like her) as she normally would.

As the two friends talked casually, Remus didn’t even realize Y/N had sat down next to him in the Great Hall. But everyone else had. Y/N and Sirius had sat next to each other since second year. James claimed one side of Sirius’ while Y/N claimed the other. Even James had at times sat in other spots around the table, whether it was to try (and fail) to charm Lily or to tease Peter and Remus. But Y/N had never sat anywhere but next to Sirius and Sirius next to Y/N.

As the werewolf and witch’s laughter finally died down, they looked up to see the whole table staring at them. It was at that moment that Remus noticed the empty spot to the left of the boy across from him. His eyes shifted back to the girl next to him, watching as she quietly ate her food. 

“So, Y/N,” James began, a questioning look in his brown eyes. “Don’t wanna sit next to your boyfriend today?”

Sirius’ eyes were already trained on Y/N and the solemn look on his face couldn’t be missed. Her eyes met his for a fraction of a second before turning to James, a polite smile on her face as she replied. 

“Don’t have a boyfriend to sit next to,” She deadpanned. The clash of a fork was heard and now everyone, but the one person he wished was, was staring at Sirius. Unbeknownst to Y/N his eyes had gathered tears and he was looking at her as if his world had turned dark. Which it had. Her words had extinguished any form of light and now he was just wandering blind. He quickly shot up from his seat, looking frantically at the faces around him before running out of the Great Hall, ignoring his friend’s requests to slow down. 

“What the fuck was that, Y/N?” Y/N had expected James to be the one to shout at her, even Remus maybe. But when she recognized the voice as that of Lily’s her eyes shot up and she furrowed her brows. Had she really messed up? It might’ve been dramatic, but she didn’t think it was uncalled for. He didn’t want to be with her, she was cutting him loose. But the way Lily was staring at her, the judging glare she reserved for everyone but Y/N, made her question whether her ploy of embarrassing Sirius was worth it. But she was also upset. Maybe irrationally, but genuinely upset. So she shrugged her shoulders and continued to eat. 

The rest of the day had gone by at an alarmingly slow pace. Y/N’s head was pounding the entire day and all she wanted was to crawl into her bed. She hadn’t seen Sirius in any of their classes and Remus had informed her that he hadn’t attended other classes either. She felt guilty at his words, but she didn’t let it show as she told him she didn't really care what Sirius was up to. The worst part of the day was that while everyone seemed to be treating her normally - granted a little cautiously - her best friend had been giving her the cold shoulder. Since when had Lily become a fan of Sirius? The two shared a strong friendship, but she had warned Y/N at the start of her relationship that Black wasn’t the type of guy you trusted with your heart. Of course, at that time she had been referring to the fact that he often only sought out relationships with girls that ended in him receiving a sexual favor. Ah, the irony of it all. 

With Lily giving her the silent treatment and her growing headache, Y/N had opted to stay in her dorm for dinner. Instead, she decided to take a short nap to keep her from feeling everything she felt right now. 

“Wake up.” The voice that woke Y/N up from her sleep was harsh and belonged to none other than Lily Evans. As Y/N slowly sat up, Lily pointed to the plate of food she had brought her before exiting the room. It wasn’t fair. Sirius probably had all his mates with him consoling him (or rather cheering him on for his new found freedom) and Y/N didn’t even have the one person she was meant to. Sighing, she picked at her food and had a small conversation with Alice who had stopped by for a bit. Y/N could tell she was dying to ask her about the break up, but was refraining. One thing she could definitely go her entire life without dealing with, was the rumors she was bound to hear the next day. 

It had been a couple hours since Lily had left the plate with Y/N and Y/N’s ability to sleep had seemed to disappear. Which meant it was just her and her thoughts. She wondered if Sirius was okay. No person, let alone a man like Sirius, would be happy with the way she had ended things with him. She felt stupid for caring about what he felt. He basically said Y/N was sexually repulsive. The boy that fucked anything with legs, had said he didn’t want to sleep with her. The boy that was supposed to make her feel special.

Yet, all she could think about was that her notes wouldn’t be good enough today to give him for the classes he had missed. And she hoped that he had ate a proper lunch because in the last week him and Peter (who had been missing with Sirius at lunch) had been too busy playing stupid pranks to eat proper meals. She also wondered if he had talked to any other girls. She knew plenty of girls, even some of her friends, that had put their plans of seducing Sirius on hold because of her new relationship. Feeling the little bit of food she had managed to consume travel back up, she forced herself off her bed heading to the common room. She had to distract herself. 

She noticed her friends in one corner of the room, but when Lily’s cold gaze met hers she looked away and headed to another corner. She was lucky enough to find a few of her other friends to converse with. She hadn’t really put much input in the conversation, but she listened carefully to what her friends said in hopes that their gossip would distract her. 

“Y/N.”

Y/N’s eyes trailed up to meet Remus’ soft ones and a sympathetic smile on his face. He nodded his head to the other corner of the room, indicating for her to follow him. She slowly followed him, her nimble fingers playing with the frayed edges of her cardigan. 

“First of all, missy,” Started James a mischievous smirk on his face. “You are not allowed to just sit away from us. Even if some of us are being unnecessarily harsh.” Y/N’s eyes widened slightly as she realized he was referring to Lily. His Lily. But in that moment she was too grateful to worry, especially when he lovingly wrapped his arms around her shoulder letting her rest her head on his chest. She mumbled an apology and wrapped her arms around the torso of the boy that had treated her just like a sister since first year. 

“‘s no problem, bug. Just don’t make the same mistake twice.” She nodded her head, falling back asleep within minutes. When she woke up, James wasn’t holding her anymore and instead she was wrapped in a soft cashmere blanket on the same loveseat. It took her eyes a moment to adjust to the darkness, but when they did she had the breath knocked out of her. Across from her, on a slightly longer sofa, was the boy that had just been in her dreams. Sirius looked different from in her dreams, he appeared troubled even in his sleep. But beautiful nonetheless. 

Y/N quietly walked over to where he was laying, crouching next to him. She knew it was wrong but all she wanted was to feel his skin under the tips of her finger. She carefully moved the hair that had matted to his forehead behind his ear. She didn’t miss the way he was sweating and the smell of fire whiskey that left his open mouth. But she stayed right there next to him, tracing her fingers lightly across his cheek. Y/n wished she could freeze time right there. Because this way, he wasn’t bothered by her and she could have him right by her side. 

“You lost the right to touch me when you broke up with me,” Sirius’ rigid voice startled Y/N and she quickly pulled her hand back. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were up. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have,” her words left her mouth in a rush. Hastily, she began to head for the stairs but Sirius caught her wrist before she could leave. 

“Don’t go. Please.” The vulnerability in Sirius’ voice was enough to make her turn around. He was still laying on the sofa and he made no effort to explain himself. He just looked straight into her eyes, the fireplace casting shadows across his face. Her wrist was itching from his touch and her eyes burning from his stare. She swallowed her nerves and sat at the end of the sofa, releasing herself from his grip. 

“I shouldn’t have been so childish this morning,” Y/N murmured, her eyes looking straight at the fireplace. She shifted her gaze to look at him knowing she had to do this. “I’m sorry for the way I ended things, I should’ve done it in a more mature way.”

“You shouldn’t have done it at all.” Y/N would’ve scoffed if it wasn’t for the fact that Sirius looked like he was one wrong move away from falling apart. 

“That isn’t fair, Sirius,” Her voice rose slightly, but she recognized that the common room wasn’t the right place for her to unleash all her emotions. “You can’t expect me to stick around when you don’t even want me.”

Sirius simply sighed, using his arms to get up and bringing his knees to his chest. “You’re crazy stupid, love.”

Y/N was ablaze with anger now and was about to get up before deciding against it. She was going to speak her mind, no running away from this. 

“Yah, I’m so crazy for not wanting to be in a relationship where the guy I love doesn’t even want to have sex with me.” She was so angry she didn’t even realize what she had said.

“I love you too,” The raven haired boy replied, breathlessly. 

“What?” 

“You said you love me. Do you mean it?” Y/N cursed under her breath before looking at her lap as tears began to fall from her eyes. 

“Yes, Sirius. I love you,” The tears were falling harder now but she persisted. “But don’t lie to me. If you don’t love me, that’s okay. But stop pretending you do,” she was sobbing now. Her whole body was racking with sobs as she brought her hands up to cover her face. The long forgotten headache was slowly creeping back into her head and all she wanted was for it all to stop. But apparently the universe had other plans for her, because she was now being wrapped into the arms of the one person she wanted to get the farthest away from but also impossibly close to.

“I would never lie to you,” Sirius began, rubbing the young girls back. “Especially not about this. Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t. I love you so much, Y/N. I don’t think you could ever understand how much I need you.”

The young girl didn’t respond, instead just letting her heart pour itself out in the arms of the boy who was squeezing it. Eventually, she pulled back from Sirius. He felt cold. Despite the fire that was lit right next to them, he felt so cold without the contact of her body. 

“How,” she sniffled. “How can you love me but say what you said last night? Do you think I’m unattractive? Or is it something I do?” Sirius had never seen the girl so unsure of herself. She almost always exuded confidence. Authentic confidence. He couldn’t believe that the girl he was meant to make feel secure, was doubting herself because of him. 

“Listen to me, Y/N. You are the sexiest girl I have ever seen. And that’s not just some bullshit I’m spewing to make you feel better. No, I mean you are literally the sexiest girl in all of Hogwarts and I am yet to find someone more attractive than you in any other place I’ve spent time. I’m pretty sure it’s impossible. You’re so fucking hot that - Merlin, this is embarassing - in fourth year I had my first wet dream about you.” At this the girl in front of him couldn’t contain the chortle that left her throat. 

“What?”

“I know, it’s so fucking embarassing. I never told you because I thought if I expressed how attractive I thought you were it would ruin our friendship.”

“Oh,” sensing the forlorn feelings creeping back into her mind, Sirius continued.

“But you’re also beautiful. Like heaven and the stars above on earth, ethereally beautiful. Do you remember last year, when you, Lily, me and the boys went to that muggle ball over summer holiday. The one Lily took us to? I, um, actually one moment,” Sirius without another explanation ran up the stairs. However, within seconds he ran back down a book in his hand. “You can’t tell anyone but I have a journal-”

“You have a diary?

“A journal.”

“I like when guys write in diaries.”

“It’s a diary, actually,” Sirius smirked when he saw a bigger smile spread across her face. He wouldn’t stop till he got one that met her eyes. “Well, this is my diary from fifth year. On the day we went to the ball, I wrote quite a lengthy entry - I’m sure you remember a lot happened that night. But, I wrote this first. I think I might be fucked. I’ve never doubted how attractive Y/N is, but today was different. She looked like an angel. I mean a literal angel. Her dress was gold and it had one of those necklines that makes a v-shape. That’s probably what they’re called actually. But, by Godric, she looked so gorgeous. When she was walking down Lily’s stairs to meet up with the boys and I, I had to pinch myself. I actually pinched myself, because I thought I was at my bloody wedding. A wedding?! Why the fuck did I think I was marrying my best friend? How is it humanly possible to be that beautiful?’”

“A wedding?” Y/N’s eyes were blown wide, as she looked at Sirius with worry.

“Don’t worry, love. We both know I have a tendency to be a bit dramatic We can table the wedding talk for a few years from now,” He winked, and this time he heard the laugh she let out. “What I’m trying to say, Y/N, is that your looks are not even in the question. Neither is anything you're doing. Which by the way can I just ask, how are you so good at that shit?” 

Her cheeks flushed and she was glad that it was dim in the room. Ignoring his question she proceeded with one of her own, “Then why, Sirius? If you’re ready and I’m ready and your diary knows that, why don’t you want to sleep with me?”

“I do, more than anything. I don’t know why I didn’t just say that yesterday,” Upon receiving a skeptical look, he continued to explain himself. “I want to be with you in that way and in every way possible, but I don’t want to rush it. Not because I’m nervous, per say, but because that’s what I always do.”

“Baby,” Sirius shifted closer as he heard the endearment leave Y/N’s lips. “I know you're more experienced than me, but that doesn't bother me. I’m not going to think that I’m just another one of your conquests, if that’s what you’re worried about.” 

“That was one thing I was worried about, but I also just think I need to take it slow for me. I’ve never had a girlfriend before. You had that one git early last year,” He grumbled, eliciting an even louder laugh from you. “But, I’ve never been in anything serious. And I think I need to assure myself that I can build a connection - a romantic one, that is - outside of sex. I’m quite shit at communicating, as we have gathered from recent events. I need to work on stuff like that first I think.”

The y/e/c eyed girl felt her heart swell as the words left his mouth and it took everything in her not to throw herself on top of him. 

“Are you upset?” It was Sirius’ turn to basfully face away, as he awaited a response. 

“How could I be?” Y/N moved closer to Sirius so that they were both face to face and her hands grabbed his. “I’ve been blessed with the best boyfriend in the world.” Sirius’ ears perked up at her words.

“Boyfriend?”

“If you’ll forgive me? I should’ve tried to understand you better. I shouldn’t have been so rash.”

“Wasn’t only your fault, I definitely had my part to play.”

“Hmm,” She hummed. She pulled at his hand in a way that indicated she wanted to lay down. He pulled her into his chest as she continued. “In that case, we can work on it while building our connection.”

“I like the sound of that,” Sirius nuzzled his chin into her hair, before resting his cheek over her head. “Now, tell me. How was your day without the amazing Sirius Black?”

“Oh, Sirius,” she started, already feeling better that she could vent to him. “It was utter shit. I mean not only did I not have you, Lily was so angry with me. All of the boys were so sweet, but Lily wouldn’t even look at me.” 

“Shit.”

“What?”

“Um, I might’ve told only Lily everything I just said to you, this morning. And I might’ve left out my harsh words last night.”

“Sirius!” Y/N tried to hit her fist against his chest, but he caught it easily. 

“I’m sorry! The boys wouldn't have understood what I was saying. I’m actually the most sensible of the bunch.” 

“Okay, well that just isn’t true. But too bad, Lily’s my best friend, you get the three boys that barely make one brain together and I get the smartest girl in our year. Do you understand?” She sassed, only a little mirth evident in her voice. 

“Yes ma'am,” Sirius grumbled. 

“Good.” 

“You’re wrong by the way,” Sirius spoke, continuing upon seeing Y/N’s confused stare. “You’re the smartest girl in our year.” 

She rolled her eyes before replying, “I can’t be the sexiest and the smartest girl.” 

“That’s why you’re so amazing, you defy the odds!” At his compliment, the girl simply mumbled for him to shut up and he pulled her closer. 

“Y/N, can you say it again?” She didn’t have to ask him what he meant. She knew.

“I love you, Sirius,” She whispered, pressing a kiss against his clothed shoulder. “I love you so fucking much.”

“I love you too, darling.”

“I love you.”

[onlydreamofmysoul]

Cardigan (Wolfstar)

I sat down to write a teeny drabble with two lines from the song Cardigan by Taylor Swift. It quickly spiralled into this. (I really love it though).

Set in the cannon universe, cw for mentions of death, injuries and scars. (Nothing graphic though).

I knew you, dancing in your Levi’s drunk under a streetlight. 

“Shh! Pads. you’re gonna get us caught!” Remus half-whispered, his own voice a tad too loud for his own liking but his slightly tipsy state didn’t allow for a lower volume. Sirius spun into him smushing his fingers right up against Remus’ lips, both of them chest to chest under James’ cloak. It was hard to believe the four of them mused to fit under this - now it only just about covered Remus and Sirius even with Remus ducking down to Sirius’ height. 

“Come on Moony, you’re ‘Perfect Mister Prefect’,” He said, punctuating each word of the grand title with his index finger poking into Remus; chest. “Even if we do get caught, you can charm our way out of it.”

Remus rolled his eyes, but followed. The passage was dim and the ground was uneven and to be perfectly honest, they hadn’t yet discovered if this particular passage way had been caved in since they last explored it the previous year, but Sirius seemed sure of himself and that was enough for Remus. If Sirius was the one leading, he’d always follow. 

“Alright, but I’m late on a transfiguration essay, so if Minnie catches us, you’re on your own. I need to save my charm for that.” He said, his tone stern, but all his reserve melted when Sirius smiled up at him and pressed a victorious kiss to his cheek. 

“I take back your title.” Sirius said dramatically, looking at Remus with a smug righteousness. “Apparently ‘Perfect Mister Prefect’ isn’t so perfect after all.”

He pressed his mouth right up next to Remus’ ear just as they stepped out the little secret entrance, ducking under the ivy trellis that hid their little passageway. “It’s a good thing I like bad boys.” Sirius breathed, and Remus couldn’t wait any more, not caring whether the cloak revealed their ankles or not when he pulled Sirius in for a blazing kiss. 

“I love you, you know that, right?”

Sirius smirked and kissed him again. “That seems to be the general consensus.”

Remus laughed and took off walking again, tugging the cloak off as soon as they were far enough away from the school, catching hands and spinning under the soft glow of the lamplights illuminating the path to Hogsmeade. Sirius tilted his head back, still spinning, their hands acting as the axis that centred the entire universe. 

“I love you too.”

I knew you, hands under my sweatshirt, baby kiss it better. 

“Sirius, if you don’t start being more careful, I’m gonna-”

“What?” Sirius teased, wriggling his eyebrows suggestively, looking far too haughty for a man sitting on a countertop, his legs dangling in the air. “What’re you gonna do Re? You gonna punish me?”

Remus pursed his lips to try hide his smile, but gave in, kissing Sirius once briefly.

“No,” He said, pulling up Sirius’ jumper to get a proper look at the gash he had acquired after climbing a tree. Then subsequently falling out of said tree. “But I will send you to Madam Pomfrey and have you try to explain to her that you thought you’d be able to pull off a levitation charm if there was a ‘more extreme sense of urgency’.” He finished, mocking Sirius’ words from earlier. 

Sirius just scrunched up his face playfully in retaliation, before breathing in shakily as Remus coated the cut with a liberal amount of salve, watching in fascination as the skin knitted back together.

“There.” He said, straightening up to stand between Sirius’ legs, pulling down his jumper again. “Good as new.”

“Nah ah.” Sirius countered, shaking his head as his legs locked behind Remus’ back, binding them together. “Gotta kiss it better.”

Remus wet his lips, shaking his head in fond disbelief, but leaned in willingly, feeling the hot slide of Sirius’ mouth against his own cooler one. 

“All better?” Remus asked, panting slightly as they rested their foreheads together. 

Sirius shrugged, hooking his arm more firmly around Remus’ neck. “Close, but not quite better yet.”

Remus huffed a laugh through his nose, but gladly locked their lips together again, the pair fully intertwined as if they had been made for each other. 

(And maybe they had. For what else was the moon to do but love the stars?)

And when I felt like I was an old cardigan, under someone’s bed, you put me on and said I was your favourite. 

“Sirius?” Re said softly, pushing the door to their dorm open slowly. “Are you here?”

“Yeah,” Came a muffled reply. “I’m here.”

Remus stepped into the room, looking first to Sirius’ bed to find it empty. Remus frowned, looking around to find Sirius curled up on Remus’ own bed, his favourite cardigan folded gently around him.

“Hi sweetheart,” Remus said, voice hushed as he climbed onto the bed next to the other boy, noting the red stained eyes and puffed lips. “What do you need?”

At the words, anything that seemed to be holding Sirius together until that point shattered, the raven haired boy collapsing into Sirius’ arms. 

“Re,” He gasped, between his sobs as Remus just pulled him closer. “Why is it possible to love someone who hates you? Isn’t love supposed to be good? If it’s so great, then why the fuck does it hurt so much?”

Remus’ heart clenched. Regulus. 

“I don’t know sweetheart,” He murmured, holding Sirius close. “But it makes us who we are.” He cupped Sirius’ face so he could meet the raging stormy eyes. “It’s better to have loved and have lost than to never have loved at all.”

Sirius just blinked at him. 

“But for the record,” Remus said, touching their heads together. “I don’t think you’ve lost him. He’s just lost right now. But he’ll find his way back to you.”

Sirius nodded, and slumped against Remus’ chest, no longer crying, just breathing deeply. 

“You know Remus Lupin,” He whispered after a while. “I don’t care how long it takes, but I’m gonna marry you someday.”

To kiss in cars, and downtown bars, was all we needed.

“Oh Merlin, they’re snogging again.” Peter commented as he turned his head to spot James and Lily, leaning in for a kiss. Remus, currently with his tongue in Sirius’ mouth heard this, but let Peter discover the other couple in his own time.

“Christ, the pair of you are too. You’re all fuckin at it.” He grumbled. If Remus’ mouth wasn’t already a little preoccupied, he would have laughed. There it was.

“Right, I’m off to find humans capable of holding decent conversation.” Peter muttered and he might have left. He could have stayed and done a jig on the table for all Remus cared, but in this moment, he noticed none of it. What was the poem he had read somewhere? Stars and moths and rinds slanting around fruit. This moment.

You drew stars around my scars and now I’m bleeding. 

“Hey, look at this.” Sirius said somewhat excitedly, rolling away from Remus momentarily and returning with a quill and a jar of ink. 

Remus eyed him skeptically, his arm tucked under his head as they lounged on his bed, the curtains drawn to create the illusion of their own little oasis. 

“I bet I could draw stars on your chest and then your scars could connect them, like in astronomy.”

Remus bit his lip, looking at Sirius’ appraised expression. “I feel like I should say no,” He said slowly, even as he unscrewed the ink. “But go for it.”

Sirius grinned triumphantly and studied Remus for a minute, brushing the quill over his lips as he concentrated. Remus couldn’t help but muse that if Sirius put half as much effort into his schoolwork as he was doing here, he would be top of the class. Finally, Sirius ditched the quill, dipping a finger into the ink directly. 

“I don’t want the point of the quill to scratch you.” He explained, after noticing Remus’ raised eyebrow. Something warmed inside Remus’ chest while something cold trickled over the outside. Remus closed his eyes and let himself focus on the slightly ticklish, but mostly soothing sensation of Sirius tracing patterns over his skin. 

“Done.” Sirius muttered after a while and Remus opened his eyes, raising his head a little to peer down at himself. He looked like some abstract piece of art, covered in black and blue and red and green, scars shining silver between it all. 

“Woah,” He breathed, “That’s pretty cool.”

Sirius grinned, then pointed to a star just over Remus; appendix. “That’s Sirius right there.”

Remus hummed, pursing his lips together, then grabbed a jar of ink, tracing a star a little messily, right over his heart. 

“Nah,” He countered, “Sirius is there.”

Sirius rolled his eyes, but came up to press their lips together. In the morning, they both looked like works of art.

But I knew you, stepping on the last train, marked me like a blood stain. 

“I can’t believe this is the last time we’ll be taking this train.” James said, the four of them standing in a row on the platform, not yet ready to get on. 

“We’ll be back.” Remus said. “Someday, we’ll be back.”

Sirius linked their fingers together. As one, the marauders stepped onto the train. 

Mischief Managed.

I knew you, tried to change the ending, Peter losing Wendy.

Remus just stared at the auror. 

“Mr Lupin,” The man said gently, playing his hand tenderly on Remus’ arm. Remus didn’t know what his name was. It was probable the man had said it but Remus wasn’t listening. Everything had gone dark. “I realise this must come as a shock.”

Remus wrenched his arm back, shaking his head. “A shock?” He laughed a little manically. “No, you’re wrong.”

“Mr Lupin, we have evidence that Sirius Black was the one to-”

“Well you’re wrong!” Remus yelled. Or maybe he had whispered. It was possible he hadn’t even spoken at all, but the words swirled around and around in his head. “I don’t know how, but you’re wrong. You’re wrong, this isn’t right, you have it all wrong, he would never-”

Remus gasped, pressing a hand to his cracking heart as if it would hold him together. “He would never.” He repeated, his voice breaking, tears streaming down his cheeks. When they had gotten there, he didn’t know, but their presence was suddenly noticeable with the cold rush against Remus’ skin. 

“I’m so sorry.” The auror said and then he was gone. And Remus was alone. 

Had it always been this way? Remus alone. Remus with friends. Remus with Sirius. Remus alone. 

Maybe he had made the entire thing up. 

But dreams didn’t leave you feeling like the last kiss you’d ever had was from a  dementor, not your true love. 

It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. He had said that to Sirius once. 

What a fool he had been. 

I knew you, leaving like a father, running like water, when you are young they assume you know nothing. 

“It is believed this was a plan Mr Black had been staging for quite some time now.” A newspaper read. Remus snorted and threw it in the fire. Sirius couldn’t even plan a week in advance. What they fuck did these people know. 

But then, what did Remus know? His love was long lost, Rapunzel in a tower. Remus was no knight. 

But he knew in his heart, none of this was true. He knew. He didn't care what anyone else said, they may have known his thoughts, but Remus knew his heart. 

But I knew you’d linger like a tattoo kiss. 

Sirius’ leather jacket still hung in the cupboard under the stairs. His hair potion, still in the shower. Remus couldn’t bear to see them. He could never throw them away. 

I knew you’d haunt all of my what if’s.

Remus should have fought harder for Harry. 

He should have, he should have, he should have, he should have. 

He should have known better.

What if.

A smirking smile and stormy eyes. Hair held up with a wand. Those same dark strands coiled around Remus’ fingers. 

The smell of smoke would hang around this long. Cause I knew everything when I was young. 

Remus woke up to James’ scream. Except it couldn’t be James. Unless… Had this all been a dream?

James opened his eyes and suddenly there was Lily. Lily and James and they didn’t know who Remus was. 

(Remus had been the first one to hold baby Harry. Before even Sirius. And now he didn’t even know him)

I knew I’d curse you for the longest time. 

Remus hated Sirius. Not for being the notorious mass murderer Sirius Black. But for leaving him alone.

Why is it possible to love someone who hates you? Remus wanted to laugh. His question to Sirius now would be this; Why couldn’t he stop loving someone he should hate.

Chasing shadows in the grocery line.

The students all murmured about the Grimm. The paintings gossiped about little else. Even the staff room had a few words on the subject matter. Remus tried not to let his heart flutter. 

(But his boy was free. And there was a grim on the loose).

I knew you’d miss me once the thrill expired.

Walking down to Hagrid's hut, Remus thought he saw something rustle in the bushes. He stepped off the path and looked closer, barely even breathing as his heart thundered, but the shadows that had lurked were gone. 

And you’d be standing in my front porch light.

“Lie low at Lupins.”

For the first time in twelve years, amber met grey. 

“Re,” Sirius croaked, and Remus shattered. He pulled Sirius inside the door quickly, shutting it and reinforcing all of the charms around his little cottage, drawing all the blinds shut and placing a charm around the area so he would know if anyone approached the house before he finally turned, and there he was. 

And I knew you’d come back to me.

Not Mass Murderer Sirius Black. 

Not even Padfoot. 

But Sirius. Remus’ Sirius. 

“Re,” Sirius said again, “It’s not true, it’s not true.” He said, repeating the words as he shook his head, eyes filling. “It’s not true, I would never.”

He would never.

Remus shook his head too, pulling Sirius into the tightest hug they ever might have shared. 

“I know.” He whispered. “I know.”

You’d come back to me.

Sirius after a few weeks of good food and warmth looked a lot more like the boy Remus had once known, but there was no denying the person with his was now a man. Remus supposed they both were. 

You’d come back.

“I love you.” Sirius whispered one night as they were curled under a blanket, Remus reading as Sirius lay on his chest, the position comforting and oh so familiar. 

“Do you think you could ever love me again?”

Remus’ heart cracked as he set down his book and curled his fingers gently around Sirius’ jaw, tilting his head so Remus could look into that swirling sea. 

“Love you again?” He said, his voice nearly cracking in disbelief. “Pads, how could I love you again when I never stopped?”

And when I felt like I was an old cardigan, under someone’s bed, you put me on and said I was your favourite. 

“I can’t believe you still have this.” Sirius whispered, pulling the same cardigan he always stole out of the back of Remus’ drawer. 

“It used to smell like you.” Remus admitted. “But I wore it too much, I missed you too much.”

Sirius smiled, shrugging it on, it curling around his shoulders the way he curled into Remus, tilting his head up and pressing his lips against Remus’. 

“I can fix that.” He whispered and Remus held him close, taking his time. 

(For what else was the moon to do but love the stars?)

[iliveiloveiwrite]

Battle Scars and Wedding Rings // H.P.

Request: Hi lovely! Would you be able to write a harry potter x reader where reader is a healer and takes care of Harry after he comes back home injured from a mission? (Harry and reader are married) thanks in advance! I love your fics so much 💕 - anon 

A/N: God, I love writing healer fics. I love writing healing fics. I’m so happy with how this turned out, I haven't written anything this long in a while so it makes a nice change. I hope you like!

Warnings: mentions of injuries, mentions of procedures and hospitals she/her pronouns, use of ‘wife’ and ‘woman’. FLUFF AND COMFORT FOR OUR MAN, HARRY.

Word count: 4.1k

Harry blinks up at the fluorescent light dizzily; a headache starting to form behind his eyes. Gingerly, he reaches up and removes his glasses, rubbing at his eyes to see if that improves his vision.

It doesn’t. If anything, it makes it worse.

He groans as the pounding in his head becomes worse. Now, he can hear his pulse sounding in his ears and he wonders briefly how to silence it. He’s a wizard who in his teens conquered the darkest wizard to have ever roamed the earth, yet right now, he can’t seem to remember a simply numbing spell to ease the effects of his headache.

Harry flinches as the curtain to his exam room is pulled back, but he relaxes the moment he hears your voice. “Love?” You ask, “Is this why you couldn’t make it home for dinner?”

Harry groans as he pulls himself to a sitting position; pausing partway to stave off the wave of dizziness overtaking him. He hadn’t felt this bad since he fell off his broom in Third Year; waking up in the hospital wing of Hogwarts with little to no recollection of the match and his injury.

You titter as you rush over to him; forming incomplete words as you help him sit up. Gently, you run a hand through his too long hair, dropping a kiss to the forever messy locks.

“How are you feeling?”

Harry sighs, “Malfoy checked me over. I have a concussion and a few broken ribs. Looks like I’m taking it easy for the next few weeks.”

You frown, “Did Draco leave your x-rays?”

Harry nods, not seeing the point in fighting with you. He knew Draco knew his stuff; he also knew that you knew Draco was far more than qualified for his job in the emergency room, but as a Healer yourself and someone in love with the patient, you saw it fit to check out the scans yourself.

You hold his x-rays up to the lightbox, inhaling deeply when you see the breaks in three ribs on his right and two ribs on his left. Clamping your lips against the wave of tears that threaten to appear, you turn to your husband, “Do I want to know what happened this time?”

Harry shakes his head, but he answers all the same, unable to keep anything from you, “A damned raid went wrong. I got blown back against a wall; hit my head and felt my ribs crack.”

You hold your hand to your mouth; worry alight in your eyes. “You’re not in pain anywhere else?” You ask; your Healer hat on for the time being until you’re at home and in private where you can let yourself feel the near loss of your husband without the prying eyes and ears of your colleagues and patients.

“No, just my head and ribs,” He replies wincing at the pain growing ever larger inside of his head.

Panic settles over his for just a moment; it’s been years since he felt this sort of pain. It’s been years since his head had hurt so bad that he wondered whether the faded scar on his forehead was truly coming back to life. He rushes the very thought from his mind; instead, honing his attention back in on your worried but loving face.

It wasn’t the first time you had been called away from home or a patient to see to him, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. However, with each call, you get more worried. The little voice in the back of your head taunts you with questions of which injury will finally be the one to make him stop; which injury will be the one that finally comes too close to taking him from you for good.

You had already experienced the numb sensation of what losing Harry would feel like. You were there that day when the Dark Lord had his body carried into the courtyard for the remaining student body and teachers of Hogwarts to see. You watched as the twisted wizard gleefully declared his death.

You could never forget the numbness that settled over you like a weighted blanket. Never in your days had you experienced a feeling like it, and with Harry’s risky choice in profession, you could only pray to Merlin that you would never feel it again. It would be too soon; it would always be too soon.

Your attention comes back to the small exam room at the feel of Harry’s hand on yours. He watches you with a quizzical expression, “Where did you go just now?”

You shake your head, “Nowhere of importance.”

He brings your left hand up to his lips; kissing the finger upon which a golden band sat, “Everything you do and everywhere you go is of importance to me.”

You roll your eyes with a smile; stepping closer to your husband, “Don’t try to get on my good side, Potter. I’m still pissed at you.”

Harry huffs a laugh before stopping abruptly at the pain lancing through both sides of his body. He smiles weakly, “You have every right to be pissed, but can you be pissed off at home? I really want to go to bed.”

Fondness for the man in front of you rushes through your body. You caress his cheek; your thumb brushing over his cheekbone, taking in the scratches that litter his face. A consequence of hitting the ground. You smile softly at him, “Let’s go home, Harry.”

-----

You decide against apparition. The swiftness of it would be too much pressure on Harry’s ribs and any further injury was something he, and your sanity, could not afford.

Instead, you wander slowly to the tube, helping Harry down the stairs to the platform and giving him the only empty seat on the carriage. He begins to protest – ever the gentleman – but a stern look from you has his argument dying on his tongue.

He remains quiet on the ride home; his mind caught in his earlier panic. Truthfully, he’s had two panics tonight. One in the exam room when the pain in his head started to become too much for him to manage, and two, earlier when he was blown back against a wall and started to lose consciousness. His only thought in those final few moments before darkness descended was of you – your eyes, your smile, your kiss. They were all of you.

When he came too in the emergency room with Draco Malfoy sitting in the corner of the room, he wondered briefly whether this was it. However, soothing words from the friend he once considered an enemy had him calming down enough for his ribs to stop screaming in agony.

The fresh air helps as the two of you walk from the tube station home. The summer evening air helping him take deeper breaths as he inhales the heady floral scents coming from the numerous gardens lining their street.

He keeps a hand on his right side as he steps up to the front door. Harry watches you rifle in your bag for your keys; thinking that your bag reminds him of the one Hermione charmed in their Seventh Year. You flash Harry a wide, triumphant smile as you pull the set of keys from your bag. The keyrings clink together as you unlock the front door and sigh, turning to him, barring him from entry for one moment.

You look him up and down, “What do you want to do? Bed or couch?”

Harry glances inside the house; his eyes flicker to the stairs and then to the living room door. He sighs painfully as he answers, “Bed, please.”

You nod, smiling reassuringly as the man you have loved since you were sixteen. You hold your hand out to him which he takes gratefully. “Bed it is,” You smile.

It’s slow going; pausing every two or three steps for Harry to catch his breath and to ride out the wave of pain that brings it with nausea and dizziness. You walk behind him; your hands at the ready should you need to catch him if he should trip or fall backwards.

Harry takes a seat on the edge of your shared bed; a pained expression leeching all colour from his face.

“I take it you don’t want the bath I’m about to offer?” You ask; hands on your hips as you take in the pale face of your husband.

He shakes his head wordlessly; apologies written in his green eyes.

You frown as you wander over to his dresser, pulling out the comfiest pieces of clothing he owns as well as a shirt for yourself. Quickly, you change out of your shirt and throw Harry’s on; the familiar and welcoming scent of broom oil and sweet orange washing over you.

Turning back to your injured husband, you find him watching you with a faint blush on his face. Harry’s pain forgotten for an instant as he watched you change into his clothing; it was his weakness, seeing you in his shirt or his jumper. He loved how his clothing melded itself to your every dip and curve; he adored the feel of the material against your skin when he slid the hem of shirt that little bit higher on your waist.

You hold up the items of clothing; letting Harry inspect them before wandering back to bed where he sits patiently waiting. He nods at your choices; not overly fussed as to what he’s going to be dressed in to sleep so long as he’s comfy.

“Lift your arms as high as they can go, and I’ll do the rest.”

Harry does so; lifting his arms to the point where his ribs begin to scream for mercy. He hates the fact that his bottom lip begins to wibble form the effort, but he’s had enough broken bones and other injuries to warrant a wobbly bottom lip should he want to.

Dark purple bruises litter both sides of his body; they spread to his back and you can’t help but feel sick at the sight of them. As you peel off his work shirt, you think back to the month leading up to your wedding where the majority of the time was spent in deliberation over your vows. You had written all what you wanted to say; covered all what you felt for the Boy Who Lived and yet you still had one more vow to make. It was a vow of protection; to keep him from harm a soften as you do. It didn’t help that he had chosen to train in one of the riskiest professions within the wizarding world, but as you were training to become aa Healer, you never gave it much thought.

Now, years down the line, you couldn’t help but wonder whether your vow of protection had been faulty. The voice of doubt within your head pestering you about it until you finally snap back at it; claiming that no, it was you who nursed him back to health after any injury and it was you who waited up at night for him to return from a mission. If that wasn’t a spell of protection, you didn’t know what was.

Fighting back tears, you reach for the t-shirt you had discarded the moment you reached Harry’s side. With some adjusting, you slide the t-shirt over his head and help pull his arms through the holes before settling it over his bruised and battered body. After that, you have him stand for a minute so you can pull of his trousers and help him stand into his joggers. By the time, he’s out of breath and squeezing his eyes shut from the pain.

However, he doesn’t miss how your breathing hitches and your hands falter on the fastenings of his joggers. He doesn’t miss the silver lining your eyes and the slight wobble to your bottom lip.  

“Hey,” Harry starts; voice quiet and full of love, “What’s wrong?”

You shake your head; letting a single sob leave your mouth as you fold up his work clothes, making a mental note to throw them in the washing box. A hand on your arm has you stopping this action. You meet his eyes; seeing nothing but love and concern for your welfare.

You want to laugh, because of course. Of course with a concussion and five broken ribs, Harry’s concerned about you; about how you’re feeling.

In an equally concerned voice, Harry repeats his question, “Love, what’s wrong?”

In a fit of helplessness, you gesture to his entire body to which he responds by furrowing his eyebrows. “I’m going to need more than that,” He prompts; smile wane.

“I just,” You start; pausing for breath and to think of the words, “I didn’t expect to see you so bruised. You’ve been injured before and I’ve healed you before but seeing the extent of your bruising just makes it all the more real.”

“Love…” Harry whispers, patting the empty bed next to him.

Sniffling, you sit next to him gingerly, careful not to jostle him too much for the fear of exacerbating his wounds. “Have you ever thought of stepping back from the missions?”

“Darling…” Harry starts, comfort already resounding in his voice, “This is what I’m trained for.”

You sniffle, fiddling with your fingers, “I know that, I do, but I can’t help but be worried each time you tell me you’re going on a mission.”

Harry sighs; turning his head slightly to press a kiss to your temple, “If we look on the bright side, this has the been the worst injury I’ve had for months.”

You groan, “You’ve jinxed us now, love.”

Harry laughs; stopping abruptly at the lance of pain in his right side, “I’m sure we’ll be fine.”

You hum, “We’ve been through worse.”

“We’ve been through worse,” Harry echoes; the very words that had become a mantra through your marriage and each injury. Whenever it seemed bad; whenever the dark cloud of grief or sadness loomed, you reminded each other, you’ve been through worse and survived – so why should this time be any different?

You shake your head; swiping away the freshly fallen tears and plaster a smile on your face. You lean over, gently placing a kiss on Harry’s cheek before saying, “I have an idea.”

He raises an eyebrow intrigued at your words.

“How about I go make us some hot water bottles? Then we don’t need to worry about too much jostling in the night to get warm,” You suggest; eyes darting between the scratches on his face to the way he holds himself up on the bed. Heat would help relax the muscles that are surely to get stiff overnight and will help distract him from any pain that flares up as he sleeps.

Harry nods; a small smile on his lips as he answers, “I could go for a hot water bottle right now, but don’t take too long, please?”

You raise an eyebrow, “Why? Got big plans for me, Potter?”

Harry smirks, patting the bed. His humour still alive despite the pain, “Massive plans and they all involve this bed.”

You cackle as you head towards the door, practically singing your reply, “I’ll try not to be too long then.”

You’re gone for a few minutes. Harry uses this time to think back over the long and winding course of your relationship.

He remembers being seventeen years old, in love and terrified. He remembers stuttering through his explanation as to why he couldn’t love you the way he wanted to right now.

He thought that that would have been the end of this; you would wash your hands of him then and there, but instead you kissed him. You kissed him and made him promise to return to you in one piece.

A promise he barely kept; a promise he barely keeps today, he now thinks as he glances down at his aching body.

Harry thinks of after the war; of how you chose healing as your discipline after seeing the dead and injured lined up in the Great Hall. The stark contrast between the groans of the wounded and silence of the dead something that has stayed with the both of you since.

He thinks of how he almost proposed to you then and there. Covered in blood and dust, barely eighteen, but he’s happy that he chose to wait. He’s happy he had the two years with you before getting down on one knee and asking for your hand.

You re-enter the room with two heavily filled hot water bottles; each are wrapped in towels to keep from burning your feet as the both of you shuffle towards each other instinctively throughout the night.

You smile peacefully at Harry as you slide the hot water bottles into each side of the bed; Harry can tell that you’ve used this time to collect yourself. To have that moment you need after each injury to process what had happened and just how to move forward.

Harry knew all too well how much you hated seeing him hurt; after all, he felt the same way with you when you let a particular patient and their case get to you over the course of your shift. Harry doesn’t like to see you hurting over something you know you can fix.

It’s a balance that you both play off; that was how your marriage worked. You both took from the other but gave back just as much, if not more. Harry can’t think of a simple thing he wouldn’t do for you; he’s already won a war to not only save the wizarding world, but to love you without fear of a target on your back.

You pull the quilt back into place; patting the spot where the hot water bottles now lay, warming up the ends of the bed to stave off cold feet through the night. You make your way back to your husband; watching him with tired eyes, but eyes still filled with the same amount of love and adoration as there was at seventeen years old.

Running a hand through his hair, you glance at the clock on your bedside table and ask, “Do you remember what time you had a pain potion?”

Harry pushes his head into your hand; desperate to keep the contact between you two, “Long enough to need another.”

You nod your head; dipping slightly to brush your lips against his before rushing to the bathroom. Harry smiles like a fool in love as he brings a hand to his mouth whilst listening to your rifle around in the bathroom, opening drawers and cupboards looking for a pain potion.

Harry supposes he is a fool in love. He has been since he was seventeen years old and watching you from afar in the Great Hall at meal times. He’s been a fool for you for so long that he knows no other form, nor does he desire to know.

“Ha!” You shout from the bathroom; dancing into the bedroom with the familiar shaped bottle of pain potion in your hand with a small measuring cup in the other. Carefully, with a trained eye, you pour out the right amount before handing it to Harry.

Harry grimaces as he down the potion; immediately feeling its effects. The pain potion had been around for centuries, and yet, no witch or wizard had been able to find a cure for the acrid lingering aftertaste.

“How does that feel?” You ask; placing the dark blue glass bottle on the bedside table by Harry’s side, knowing he would need more through the night and wanting close by.

Harry takes a breath, enjoying the painlessness of it. He smiles at you, “Good, for now.”

You grin at him, “So good that you think you could manage getting into bed?”

Harry chuckles, “Broken ribs will not stop me from sleeping by my wife. Not now, not ever.”

You bite your lip against the wave of adoration that washes over you. There were times in your relationship and then your marriage where the simplest things said by Harry nearly always turned out to be what you cherished most. You know that he most likely didn’t think twice before saying what he said, but those words settle into your heart, making a home there for you to pull out and revisit should you ever feel low. Simple words that leave your husband’s mouth but affect you so much.

You hold your hands for him to take which he does. You take bis weight as he pulls himself up, standing, pressed against you. Harry takes this opportunity to draw you into a longer kiss; a languid kiss that has you dropping his hands in favour for winding them around his neck to tug him closer. However, right at the last minute, you remember his broken ribs and you pull back with a sigh.

You caress his cheek, “I know what you were trying to do, Potter, and it isn’t working tonight.”

Harry smiles cheekily; the pain potion taking full effect now, “I’m not sure what you mean, Potter.”

You beam at the use of your married name. With a fond shake of your head, you gesture to the bed, “Come on, let’s get comfy before we fall asleep.”

It doesn’t take half as long to get Harry settled into bed; propped up against a wall of pillows and your headboard before you make your way to your side of bed, propping yourself up just as high. Childishly, you rub your feet against the bedsheet, revelling in the warmth being spread by the hot water bottles placed there only moments ago.

Harry chuckles at your action before mimicking it; happy to have some warmth seeping through his body instead of the air conditioned emergency room at St. Mungo’s.

Harry shuffles for a second more before finally uttering ‘Nox’ and plunging the room into darkness.

In the dark of the room, you reach for his hand. Tangling your fingers together, you say, “I’m not asking for you to quit your job, Harry. You love it too much to do so, but I’m asking you to think about slowing down a little. To not jump at each offer of a mission, to think about what could happen,” You pause, “I’m rather fond of you coming home, you know.”

Harry releases a shuddering breath. His sides aching with the effort. He lets himself breathe for a minute or two, counting the breaths in and out of his body. Eventually, as the pain lessens slightly, he says, “I think you’re right.”

“You do?”

Harry nods, “I’m rather fond of coming home to you too as it happens.”

Carefully, cautious of not jostling the bed too much, you shift onto your side, facing him in the dark. “What do you want to do?” You ask; curious to his thoughts on the matter.

Harry sighs, bringing a hand up to rub at his face. “I don’t know,” He starts, “I want to continue working, but I don’t think I can continue if getting this injured is part of the job.”

You purse your lips; attempting to think of a solution when it hits you all at once. You grip Harry’s hand tighter in the dark, “Didn’t you say that Auror Clare is retiring next month?”

“Yes…” Harry comments; voice apprehensive and curious to see where you’re going.

“Why don’t you put your name forward for his job? They haven’t found anyone yet, right?”

Harry blinks once, twice, three times as the idea settles in his mind. Soon enough, a large smile spreads across his face as he begins to nod rapidly, “Love, that’s an excellent idea. I’ve done more than enough field work to prepare me to train new recruits.”

You smile into the dark, “What do you think? Will you put your name forward?”

Slowly, taking care not to stretch too much, Harry reaches for your left hand and places kiss after kiss to the wedding band sitting there. “I think it’s a great idea, I’m going to send an owl to Auror Michaels tomorrow and put my name forward,” Harry pauses for a single second before whispering – something akin to awe in his voice, “How did I get so lucky to have someone like you fall in love with me?”

Feeling nothing but sheer yearning to be close to your husband, you slide over to him, resting your head gingerly on his shoulder. You tilt your face up, placing a kiss to the jawline that has only become more defined over the years. As your eyes begin to droop and a yawn overtakes your body, you whisper to him, “How did we get so lucky to find each other?”

**********

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[thebadgerclan]

Never Cheat On You

Pairing: Severus Snape x reader

Requested by Anonymous

Summary: Severus thinks you’re cheating, but he couldn’t be farther from the truth...

Severus was convinced that his worst fear had come true, in fact, he was nearly certain of it.  You were skittish around him, disappearing from sight and returning hours later with no explanation of where you went, they had his insecurities and fears on edge.  But when he found the letters sticking out of your nightstand drawer, Severus knew that he was right.  Y/N, the most recent letter read.  You’re asking a lot here, but I think I’ll be able to swing it.  I can meet you at 7 o’clock at the place we discussed last time, but I’ll only wait 10 minutes for you, I have other clients who are paying me more.  Hoping to see you then, -F.P.

He skimmed the other letters, tears swimming in his eyes.  Y/N, I’m so glad you reached out to me, glad to hear you haven’t forgotten me, Y/N, I know you said to keep these letters vague, so I’ll try not to give anything away, Y/N, let me know when I can meet you next, there’s a lot we need to discuss…  You were cheating on him, you were meeting another man, doing Merlin knows what, breaking the promise you made to Severus.  He let the tears fall, sobbing where he sat on the floor next to your nightstand.

***

You had a smile on your face as you made your way back to yours and Severus’ rooms.  Your old housemate Felicity had managed to get you an 8 ounce flask of Acromantula venom that you were going to give Severus for his birthday.  It hadn’t been easy, as it was so rare, she’d had to go through a back channel to get it and to get it to you, but knowing how happy Severus would be when he opened the gift made it all worth it.  The flask was secure in your bag, several cushioning charms cast around it.

“Sev!” you called as you opened the door to your room, still smiling  “I’m home!”  But your smile fell when you heard muffled sobs coming from the bedroom.  You entered the bedroom, seeing Severus knelt next to the bed, letters surrounding him, tears streaming down his face.  “Sev, what’s wrong?  What happened?”  Upon hearing you, Severus’ anguish turned to anger, though he knew once he told you what was wrong, he would break into sobs again.  “You know how I despise broken promises?” he asked, voice wavering.

“Yes?” you responded.  “Sev, what’s the matter?”  He picked up a fistful of the letters, crumpling the parchment.  “This, this is what’s the matter, Y/N.”  You knew at once that he'd found Felicity’s letters, and you weren’t quite sure why Severus was upset.  There wasn’t any information in them, you’d specifically asked her to keep them vague, in case Severus found them, you didn’t want to ruin the surprise.  If anything, you thought he’d be confused by the lack of information in the letters.  “Do you remember the promise you made to me when I asked you to be mine?”

“Of course I do, I promised that I would never hurt you and I would be yours and no one else’s forever.”  “Then explain why you’ve been corresponding with another man, arranging secret meetings, and disappearing from the castle!”  Severus’ anger had fizzled out, his voice slightly raised as he finished speaking.  “I notice all your meetings are at different times,” he added, voice trembling.  “And at different places.  I assume you’re avoiding being caught?  Trying to keep under the radar?”  “Severus, wha-”  “You’re cheating on me, Y/N, I know it.  What else would you be doing; writing letters to another man, meeting in secret, disappearing with no explanation…”

Your heart broke for the man sitting before you.  Severus had always been insecure about your relationship, not for lack of loving you, no, he was the most devoted man alive, but because he feared you would find someone better.  But there was no one better, Severus was the best man you’d ever met, and you wanted to spend forever with him.  “Oh Severus.  No, no, Sev, will you look at me?  Please, love?”

He did, eyes red and puffy, tears streaked down his cheeks.  If it was possible, your heart broke even more, and you reached out to take his hand.  Severus let you hold it, still looking at your face.  He saw sadness there, which only made him feel worse.  “Severus, I’m not cheating on you, I would never cheat on you.  I love you, more than anything or anyone in the world, I could never hurt you like that.”

Something in your words told Severus you were being sincere, and he furrowed his brows.  “But…. the letters?”  “They’re from my friend Felicity Prewett,” you explained, still holding his hand.  “Felicity?”  “Yes.”  “Then where have you been going?”  You sighed, knowing that to fully explain where you’d been, you would have to reveal Severus’ gift.  But as you looked at him, tears still falling, you didn’t care about a gift, not when your man was hurting so deeply.

“She was helping me get this,” you said, pulling the flask from your bag and handing it to Severus.  “It was supposed to be a birthday present for you.”  “Is this Acromantula venom?”  You nodded.  “8 ounces,  I wanted to surprise you, I know how rare it is.”  “It is, but how….” he trailed off, but you answered anyway.  “Felicity has connections with a few potion suppliers, she remembered that I mentioned you needed some, and offered to get me some.  I thought that it would make a nice birthday present.

“We had to keep the meeting times and places random so no one caught on.  This wasn’t a legal exchange, strictly speaking, but no one will question why you have 8 ounces of Acromantula venom, you’re a Potion’s Master.”  Severus nodded as you explained, everything making perfect sense.  He put his face in the hand that you weren’t holding, shaking his head.  “Come here,” you said gently, opening your arms to Severus.  He went to you eagerly, your embrace like a balm on his wounded heart.

Unbidden, tears began to fall again, and Severus buried his face in your neck.  You simply wrapped your arms around him, shushing him softly and rubbing his back.  After 5 minutes or so, Severus composed himself and lifted his head.  “I’m sorry, Y/N,” he said sniffling.  “I’m so sorry I accused you of cheating on me, I know that you’d never hurt me like that.”  “I’d never hurt you at all, Severus, and I’m sorry that I made you think that.  I see how you could have thought that.”

“You do?”  “I do, vague letters signed with initials, me vanishing randomly, being secretive.  I’m sorry, Sev, I just wanted to surprise you.”  “It’s alright, Y/N, I understand.”  You pulled him into your arms, holding him close for a while.  When Severus spoke, his voice was hoarse from crying.  “Can we put this behind us?  I love you, Y/N, I love you so much.  I know you’ll never cheat on me, I was being irrational.”  “Of course we can, Sev.  I love you too, I love you so much it hurts.  I swear I’ll never hurt you, never in a million lifetimes.”  Severus nodded, letting you tip his chin up to kiss him tenderly, wiping his tears away with your thumb.  “I love you,” you said against his lips.  “I love you forever.”  “I love you forever, too.”