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Static Shock: Shock to the System and Aftershock Review

“You know what? 13 years ago, me and some friends sat in a restaurant all night and daydreamed about the kinds of stories we would tell if we had the chance. We wanted to expand the concept of superhero to include characters that kind of looked like us, who had some of the same background, experiences and dreams as we did. We wanted to create something fun that a new generation would respond to the same way we responded to our childhood heroes -and damn if we didn't succeed beyond my wildest dreams. Today, Static Shock is a household name with millions of fans of all ages (Is there stuff I'd do differently? Yeah, almost all of season four but why nitpick?) Static is the most successful thing I've ever helped create and I'm both proud and gratified that people have taken it into their hearts. “ 

Dwayne McDuffie, Co-Creator of Static and Writer for Static Shock

This review is dedicated to Dwayne McDuffie and Robert L. Washington III.                                                        Rest In Power Static Shock is awesome. I grew up with the show watching it both first run on the WB and second run on Cartoon Network and loved it as much as I did other large parts of my childhood courtsey of DC like Batman the Animated Series, Teen Titans and both Justice League Shows. What makes this unique among the DC Properties is that Static wasn’t really a big name when he got a show. He wasn’t even part of the DC Universe. 

See as I had no idea for probably a good decade, Static actually came from Milestone Comics, a company ran by and focused on african americans. The goal was understandable: While black heroes existed at the time, and there were some fantastic ones like Storm, Jim Rhodes and Steel... these guys weren’t the center of their universes. The big faces of the big  companies, Spider-Man, Wolverine, Hulk, Iron Man, Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, The Flash.. were white. So milestone was a shakeup of that with the main teams and heroes all being black, from Icon, an alien who’d lived among man but rather than end up in kansas like say superman ended up imprinting on a slave woman centuries ago and has been with us since, who was encouraged by an energetic teenager named Rocket to put on a costume and do something with his powers and his community, Hardware, a tech genius who had his work stolen by a white asshole and wanted to fight back and BLood Syndicate, a group of gang members all caught in the “The Big Bang”, a huge fight between all of Dakota, the midwest city where the comics take place, that ended when the police released a bunch of experimental gas that gave them all super powers. 

As most of you who have watched the show already know, this is where Static comes from. Static was the company making their own Spider-Man, i.e. a nerdy teenager who suddenly gets super powers, in this case Virgil Hawkins who at the prodding of a friend took a gun to The Big Bang to get revenge on a bully. .but ultimately couldn’t go through with it, decided it wasn’t him and got rid of the gun and ran.. and still ended up in it, becoming Static, a young hero dedicated to using his powers to fight other “Bang Babies”.. a term that dosen’t really sound that great and they really should’ve thought through. But Phrasing aside the character was great and I look forward to reading more and only haven’t because I have to buy the issues gradually, but DC is currently re-releasing the individual issues of Static, Icon, and Hardware weekly in anticipation of a reboot of Milestone Coming in May digitally on Comixology at only 2 bucks a pop, and rereleased the original print collections that were long out of print for 10 bucks each, though i’m getting static on it’s own since i’ts really not that much less expensive as it only collects four issues while Icon and Hardware both collect 8, so I can wait a bit there on Hardware and already own Icon: A Hero’s Welcome.. and really need to review it at some point. 

While Milestone’s output was good, at least from the two books i’ve read, with Robert Washinton III, who sadly not only ahs also passed but was fucking homeless for a while  in the 2000′s.. what the actual hell, writing Static alongside Dwayne McDuffie, whose later moved onto animation writing tons of Static episodes all of them classics including the school shooting episode, the first three rubberbandman episodes and both Anasazi episodes. Point is it had good writers and artists and even had a distrbution deal with DC, so they had a leg up on the glut of other comic book companies.. but happened to start at the start of the comic book crash, a huge downturn in sales in the 90′s as the speculator boom, i.e. a bunch of people assuming every number one would be worth golden and silver age money, forgetting a character has to BUILD INTREST and this stuff takes time, and whose attempts to sell fast flooded the market with comics no one wanted,, caused the roof to cave in and with a bunch of assholes pegging milestone as a “Company for black people” rather than you know, a company trying to add fucking diversity and represntation to the comics industry, and that simply wanted a unvierse that was centered around people of color instead of white guys. The company eventually had to shut down, and was left to lisencing.  This is where the show comes in. Producers HAD been trying to make shows based on Milestone for a while, as far back as the mid-90s and the company was was all for it but the closest it got was an x-men style team series using various characters whose first draft was terrible and whose second draft by Alan Burnett, a producer on various DC Animated shows who’d go on to produce Static Shock, that McDuffie and others really liked but sadly did not get picked up. eventually though with presistance Static ended up getting a series and as I said McDuffie went on to write for it though he did not develop it. Some changes went into place naturally to make it work for an early 2000′s kids show and while i’ll probably miss so since again, only read one issue as we go. But due to Milestone coming back my intrest was peaking, hence finally reading the copy of Icon I had to buy from the library years ago due to keeping it overdue but am now EXTREMLEY glad I own as i’ts incredibly rare and really damn good, and wanting to read static, doing so lately since it’s finally on digtiial and again not too expensive. So join me as I give you a shock to the system and revisit this hell of a series to see if it holds up.. which just to cut that short it does and i’m only holding off binging MORE because I want the first two eps to be fresh enough in my head to review properly.. and also go over the various voice actors because that’s a thing with me now and charcter co-creator dwayne mcduffie because he’s awesome. 

As I like to do when covering a series first episodes, let’s run down the voice cast. 

First up is an UTTER LEGEND, and I use the term voice acting legend a lot, and mean it every time and have good reason to use it when I say it, and Phil LaMarr is a GOD in the buisness, having done a metric ton of voice acting roles, and being easily the most proflific black voice actor in animation. He’s also done some acting work, mostly in pulp fiction which I have not seen, but his true staying power and talent is in animation so here’s just the roles I feel are most notable or may not be very notable but i’m bringing up anyway because it’s my list. 

His roles besides Virgil include Lester Payton the Texas Ranger who showed up for one very good episode of king of the hill to be badass and show up the hickish, stupid and very punchable local Sheriff, Gearld’s obnoxious older brother Jamie O on Hey Arnold, Hermes Conrad from futurama, Carver from the Weekenders (PUT IT ON PLUS DISNEY), Axel Foley for exactly one bit in Clerks the Animated Series, but anyone whose seen it will know exactly which one, Micheal on the Proud Family, Black Vulcan on Harvey Birdman (In His Pants), Hector Con Carne and Dracula on Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy and Evil Con Carne, Jack on Samurai Jack something I didn’t know for decades (and I didn’t know about the carver thing till today though i’ts obvious in hindsight), John Motherfucking Stewart on Justice League and later Steel and Adult Static in the Unlimited seasons, Osmosis Jones on Ozzy and Drix, Bolbi Strogofski on Jimmy Neutron (And yes i’m just as shocked as you are.), Wilt on Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends, Marcus on Life and Times of Juniper Lee, Bull Sharkowski on My Gym Partner is A Monkey and Also a Sociopath Please Help God My Life is a waking nightmare..... okay the rest of that title is implied but we all watched the same show, we all know in our hearts that was the title

Moving on, he was also, and yes there’s MORE: Maxie Zeus on The Batman, Philly Phil on Class of 3000, Both Robertsons AND Fancy Dan on the Spectacular Spider-Man, Jazz on Transformers Animated, Kit Fisto and Bail Organa on Star Wars the Clone Wars, Gambit and Bolivar Trask on Wolverine and the X-Men, Aquaman I, L-Ron and Green Beetle on Young Justice, J.A.R.V.I.S. and Wonder Man (Simon Williams) In Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, Gabe and Carny on Kaijudo: Rise of the Duel Masters (Really miss that game and have been snapping up what cards I can get lately), Baxter Stockman in the 2012 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (And there’s also an awesome photo of him with 2003 Baxter... the two best together in one place. I got chills), Dormammu (I’ve come to bargin) in various Marvel Shows, Noville in Mighty Magiswords, Zach’s dad Marcus in Milo Muprhy’s Law, Craig’s Douchey Brother Benard on Craig of the Creek, showing he’s clearly come full circle, And Mr. Scully on the Casagrndes. And given It took about two paragraphs to cover all of this, yeah, I MEANT legend. 

Next we have Kevin Micheal Richardson as Virgil’s Dad Robert, and it’s the first time since I started introducing Voice Actors on a show that i’ve overlapped. I already covered him during the second episode of legend of the three caballeros, but for the short version he’s also very acomplished, very damn good and I somehow missed he played the old blind guy in hey arnold> Needless to say the dude is awesome. 

Virgil’s Sister Sharon is played by Michele Morgan who was in the rap group BWP and did some smaller roles outside of this the one exception being Juicy on the PJ’s, which I have not watched much of but REALLY do not like, though i’ll at least give it credit for being a decently long lasted black claymation sitcom at at time when there were, and hoenstly still aren’t, many black animated shows. 

Back to long casting sheets, next up is Jason Marsden, who is one of my faviorites as i’ve realized recently as Ritchie. As I also found out only recently he started on the Sitcom Step By Step and while that show is .. ehhhhhhhhh, he is great in it because he’s great in everything. He also apparently has his own internet variety show which I have to watch now. His roles include Max Goof, ironically given I was just talking about that role a few days ago, Haku in the english dub of Spirted Away, Micheal, the kid being yelled at by a bunch of 80′s cartoons characters not to take drugs in Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue!, Nermal in the DTV Garfield movies and The Garfield Show, Tino on the Weekenders (SERIOUSLY DISNEY), Snapper Carr on Justice League, Rikochet on Mucha Lucha! for the last season (Why I do not knkow and while I love the guy he was not the right choice), Felix on Kim Possible, Chase Young on Xiaolin Showdown (WHich I did not realize was him and now I do easily his best role and I REALLY should’ve), Red Star and Billy Numerous on Teen Titans, Speedy on Batman Brave and the Bold, Impulse/Kid Flash II on Young Justice, and Fingers on Kaijudo. He hasn’t done as much lately which is a shame but hopefully i’tll pick up again. 

Next up is Hotstreak, Virgil’s brutal bully turned unhinted pyromancer played by DANIEL COOKSY, another actor i’m happy to talk about and another faviorite I haven’t seen much of lately. Daniel was an actor from childhood, playing Budnick on Salute Your Shorts, but he quickly gained a long and storied catalogue of VA Work: His first big roll was as Montana Max on Tiny Toon Adventures and if there is a god he’ll be back for the reboot, Stoop Kid on Hey Arnold, the incomprable Jack Spicer on Xiaolin Showdown, far and away his best role and part of why Chronicles sucked so bad was he was he didn’t get to reprise the role, The titular Dave the Barbarian, Django of the Dead on El Tigre (Had no idea), Kicks utterly insufferable big Brother Brad on Kick Buttowski and apparently he’s back at it again after laying low for a bit as he’s voicing Snag in Long Gone Gultch.. which I already really needed to watch but hot damn, I missed him. Sign me up. 

Frieda, Virgil’s crush and close friend who in the comics was his main confidante and love intrest but here is eventually pushed aside, is voiced by Danica Mckeller whose work didn’t seem all that familiar.. until I found out she was Ms. Martian on Young Justice. Hello, Megan. Very talented and she did get a major role in a dc show eventually so good for her. Can’t wait for season 4. 

So with our major players out of the way,  let’s talk about Dwayne. McDuffie is an AWESOME man and my respect has grown for him more and more with time. A writer and editor at Marvel, McDuffie has a decent resume doing smaller but awesome books, which I got most of for free last year when Marvel was giving out free digital collections due to the lock down, like Damage Control, a sitcom set in the marvel universe about the company that picks up after superhero battles and the logistics and antics that insue and Dethlok, about a pacfist trapped inside a cyborg zombie. He was as mentioned one of Milestone’s founders, and wrote Icon, Hardware and co-wrote the first few issues of Static. He’d go on to a pretty stacked career in animation, writing on this show and Justice League before becoming  story editor and show runner for Unlimited , even making a return to comics as a result writing the Marvel miniseries beyond and an arc of Fantastic Four in which Black Panther and Storm filled in for Reed and Sue while the two of them worked on their marriage after Reed did.. pretty much everything he did in Civil War. He also became head writer and show runner for Ben 10: Alien Force and Ultimate Alien, revamping the franchise a bit, and Alien Force, at least the first two seasons are awesome and I feel people overreacted on the changes. Ultimate Alien is okay, but has it’s problems but the finale was awesome and left the man’s legacy on a high note.. as he sadly passed in 2011 due to heart complications. He is truly missed and produced some utterly amazing stuff whlie he was alive. So on that melacholy note let’s see what happens when his creation hits the tv screen shall we?

Shock to the System:

This episode is written by Christopher Simmons, who is apparently a huge art designer guy.. but i’m not sure that’s the same chirsptoher simmons. Much more notable is the writer of the episode after this Stan Berkowitz, who was showrunner for season 1 and has done a LOT of DCAU work and is suprising talent, having written a lot of awesome Justice League episodes including Secret Society and The Royal Flush One. Point is we’re in first class hands.  Before the episode itself I want to talk about the intro and how it’s unique among DCAU shows. Like most Western Animation the intros for DCAU shows didn’t change much over the seasons with the most I can see is JLU changing up the footage to preview the current episode and later adding Hawkgirl to the intro after her return to the team. I THINK superman the animated series changed some of it’s footage too, but I can’t confrim it and may of just been imagining it. As i’ve talked about on my blog it’s normally a pet peeve of mine, mostly because shows you know, change after season 1, characters get added some one shot characters used for the intro never return, and after a while it can feel dated especially in more recent shows where the status quo is not at all set in stone and things change quite a bit. But sometimes it can be good enough that either the dated elements don’t matter or general enough that you don’t need to change it and i’ts just that good.. and given Batman the Animated Series has both in spades, you can see why i’ts probably my golden standard for intros and after superman the animated series DC mostly followed suit. But being part of the teen superhero boom of the 2000′s Static is unique in that it splits the diffrence: It’s intro gets the character across perfectly like a good intro should starting with Virgil getting out of bed and running a comb across his head before showing off to his sister to bug her and literally running into his dad who hand shim his bag and smiles, silently showing off his family. He then runs to school and runs into some trouble.. and said trouble changes for each intro, with Rubberband Man for season 1, Kanga (Whose name I only know because I happened to run across it) for season 2 and your guess is as good as mine for seasons 3 and 4, though Hotstreak is a constant. They still save some money for seasons 1 and 2 by recycling some animation.. but that’s alright with mea s it was good animation, and the improtant thing is cycling out old villians for new ones, while Season 3 is the only out and out redo to show off Richie taking on the Gear identity, adding about 10 seconds of intro to let him show off.  Seriously it’s an utterly great intro and like the other DCAU intros outside of superman, stuck in my brain. 

The other change that’s ENTIRELY diffrent from the rest of htem is that the music changes each time. The first two have the same formula just with a difrent vocalist and backing track: a superhero theme but with some hip hop beat boxing over it. The first intro is fine enough, not specattcular but stilll god. The second song.. is eh. Not really great and feels like a marked downgrade from season 1 and just dosen’t blend an ocrehstiral superhero theme with the beatbox elements NEARLY as well. The third song though is my faviorite.. even if I HATED Little Romeo as a  kid because I really did not like his nick show, it’s more a straight up rap song, but it has a faster beat that fits the intro better, and Romeo’s bragging fits Virgil’s character and penchant for Spidey quips perfectly. I also find it ironic that the theme that blends in with the dcau the most, the first season’s, is the one from BEFORE they decided to put it in the same universe. Still this season’s intro slaps, I just like the LIttle Romeo one a bit more.  The opening scene is picture perfect. Some masked crooks looting a warehouse are loading some stolen TV’s into a van when suddenly the lights come on one by one above one of the crooks before his tv switches to various channels before going haywire. Cue our heroes’ entrance. Let’s tak ea good look at him

Static’s Costume is awesome. While I prefer the season 3 redesign, and clearly DC agrees as the redeisgn was used for both pre and post new-52 when they used him, and while he’s getting a fresh design for the reboot, said design takes a lot of cures from said outfit. As for how the outfit differs from the comics itself  this is the design he had in the comics

It didn’t change much from the first issue, with the exception of his now iconic big puffy jacket which was added pretty early into the character’s history but I was unaware of that and just assumed he had the bodysuit the whole time. The more you know. But as you can see outside of the cool puffy jacket over a costume the two couldn’t be more diffrent. While the Dakotaverse outfit is more a standard superhero outfit, with some regular clothes touches on top the first cartoon outfit comes off more realistic, looking fantastic, but still coming off as something two teenagers could realistically have thrown together with what clothes they could buy, while still looking awesomely superheroy. IN short it’s perfect and only topped by the season 3 onward look...

But the slicker look, with an even cooler jakcet and the new colors all fitting the lighting ascetic better, but fits: not only has Virgil come along farther since he started, but with Richie now having a genius brain as Gear, he can provide a far slicker, far more professional superhero outfit on the budget the two have.  This show is just great  at costume design. 

So getting back to the episode at hand, Static puts up a huge sign in elecrticy saying “Bad guys here”, PFFFT, and then hides away and narrates that a few days ago he’d be the last person anyone would’ve expected to be a hero. Cue Flashback. 

We meet Virgil Hawkins on an average day: rapping into his razor, getting into a petty argument with his older sister Sharon, as a younger brother myself I relate to this, and talking to his dad who tries to get them to cut that out. We find out his mom has passed via his sister making really terrible eggs and saying that’s how mom made them. Exposition! Though we do get a great bit through this as when his sister gets distracted by her boyfriend calling, he uses the opportunity of her leaving the room to dump the eggs.. after having earlier jokingly prayed to his mom for a way out of breakfast. “Thanks for looking out for me mom” That’s both very sweet and very hilarious. 

This is a change from the comics it turns out as I was utterly flored to find Virgil’s mom alive and well when reading the first issue of Static. Turns out this was a change made during development and one Dwane McDuffie admitted in the interview I got the tribute quote from to not liking as he had a good reason for having Virgil have a nuclear family, as most black families in media at the time were just one single parent and a kid or two with the other having either left or died. He wasn’t too bothered by it as while he preferred what he came up with in the first place, the show DID get some really good stories out of her being gone and didn’t just have her be absent because shut up. Virgil is still working over her death and the way HOW she died ends up playing an important role in this episode and gives Virgil a dislike of guns, as she died to gang violence. So the change wasn’t for stupid or racist reasons, but likely both to keep the character count down while giving them something to work with for storylines. Or it could’ve been for stupid reasons and the writers simpily made lemonade out of that very dumb lemon, either way it ended up working.  Virgil also plans to ask his friend Frieda out. Frieda was a bigger deal in the comics, being Virgil’s friend and confidante as well as his ocasional love intrest, but here while she was inteded to at least be his love intrest here, that sorta fizzled out. As for the best friend role we meet her replacement in Richie, which McDuffie conceded was the kind of change a studio would make swapping out a female character for a male one. That being said the crew made the best of it and Richie is awesome, a bit of an overcompensating dipstick at times, but a good sounding board and pal for virgil and funny as hell too. He was also gay, something only revealed post series by McDuffie.. but unlike say Dumbledore, it’s a bit easier to swallow here: The early 2000′s were an even worse time for gay characters in tv let alone cartoons, and if they couldn’t kiss or have sex scenes on regular tv, there was no way we were getting any representation in a children’s show. So it was largely just hinted at by Richie overcompensating in how “into girls” he was and i’m once again fine with this being word of god as it was literally the best they could do and his counterpart in the comics was also gay, if not as relevant.  Ritch encourages Virgil to work on his opening to ask her out as it’s awkward as heck, hits a bit close to home.. but I do appricate the show just .. having him try and ask her out from the first episode. They likely would’ve drug thigns out a bit granted had they used Frieda more, i’m not blind to the convetions of the time. .but as someone who got the very wrong idea from tv that just waiting around meant a girl would like you eventually, when no you need to actually try even if rejection happens, I honestly wish we had more of this in media than the other garbage morals at the time. 

So he prepares to , not helped by her mentioning guy after guy is asking her out.... but before he can F-Stop, the future hotstreak, shows up.  F-STOP

That being said...... it’s not as bad as the original gangster name for the comic’s version, Biz Money B. Yes BIZ MONEY B

So yeah while F-Stop is no more intimidating, it at least means I can stop laughing. Francis, because I can’t type F-Stop without laughing and this review is already behind, shoves Virgil out of the way and agressively hits on Frieda, even saying “you smell good”, the international sign your a douchebag and also to call the police. Virgil steps up to the guy and gets PAINFULLY slammed into the lockers, something I give the animation team a lot of credit for, as you can FEEL how fucking painful that was. Virgil is saved by Wade, another local gangbanger who in the comics was a close friend of Virgils but here saves him seemingly just because.. seemingly. 

On the way home though Virg’s problems don’t end as naturally, the giant sized asshole with nothing better to do has his goons corner virgil before VIOLENTLY beating him.. off screen but the noises, and the clear brusies including a black eye, on virgil afterwords.. just holy damn i’m suprsied they got away with this but it shows just how horrifing it was and that this is a step above regular bullying, which make no mistake is absoluttley terrible and the series would later do an episode on it and school shootings, into straight up gang violence. Wade shows up again and gets the bastards to flee.. but also makes it clear he can’t keep doing this.. and forces Virgil to meet him at his base under the bridge. And it’s a tense sequence, with Virgil KNOWING this is a bad idea but having no real choice and Wade making it abundantly clear that he wants Virgil to join his crew, and makes a chilling point: while Virgils dad RIGHTFULLY dosen’t want his son to join a gang as Virgil points out.. he can’t be there for him all the time and eventually one of those times, Francis will be around. And he may not surivive that. Virgil nods noncomittaly.  At home it gets even more grim as he dosen’t open up to his family, understandably as his dad would jsut say to call the police and well.. we’ve seen how the police treat black people. At best they’d just try and use Virgil as an informant and that likely wouldn’t end fucking well for Virgil. Ritchie points out he can’t join a gang, virgil’s mom died that way.. see told you it’d be important to the plot.. but I like how the story dosen’t offer an easy answer.. well okay he gets electric powers soon enough but without the fantastic element this is just an innocent kid caught between either joining the very thing his mom hated or hoping a system not built to protect him will keep him alive. It’s utterly saddening and chilling and holy shit is it amazing a cartoon in the early 2000′s was able to get away with.. ANY OF THIS, and they handle it great, paired down a bit from the comics but even then it’s still incredibly balsy they got THIS much in. 

Naturally Wade calls in his favor and our hero is forced to come running.. and soon finds out Wade’s brought him in for a massive gang war. Welcome to the big bang, baby. He hands Virgil a gun as things get started and Virgil.. drops the thing and tries to escape, in a harrowing sequence.. and runs into Francis because god apparently REALLY hates this kid today. As if to prove that the police show up and while that prevents a beating, they demand they disassemble. then release untested gas on them because of course they do. 

As a result the big bang truly begins, with the various gang members getting mutated.. and naturally so does virgil. Though he wakes up the next day seemingly fine. How’d he get home? Does his dad know where he was?

I don’t know and we’re not getting any answers, but Virgil soon finds weird stuff happening like his clock shorting out, change being attracted to him and his razor going wild. It’s only once he get sback to his room he gets an inkling of what’s going on and calls Ritchie to meet him at the Junk yard.. though it is a bit of a dick move as he dosen’t you know, tell him anything about Wade or Francis right away. He does at the yard though.. and that he has powers, having finally figured out how to use them to a point. And the series does provide a decent justification later as to why he’d get this so quickly: Virgil is a smart kid, gets great grades at school and apparnetly there’s even an episode later where he gets a scholarship to a fancy genius school. So him getting how elctromagntisim works or being a quick study on it makes perfect sense. 

Richie suggest the obvious.. to become a superhero. And the thought.. hadn’t occured to Virgil. It’s honestly a nice twist on the old trope. That he hadn’t thought of it, not because he’s selfish or any of that or needs to learn a hard lesson, those have been done.. simply because the rush of getting his powers, and implicitly of having a way out of his current predciament, a way to keep Francis off his back and keep Wade from pulling him in further. His own path. But once i’ts brought up.. he jumps on it. Part of it is being a nerd like you or I, of course he wants to.. and being a good intetioned one, he knows this is the right thing to do. It’s waht makes a superhero a hero: Anyone can get powers in a universe like this, esepcailly the dcau, but it takes true courage and heart to use them selflessly and knowing you’ll be in danger. It’s why I love surperheroes: they often didn’t ask for this but they do it anyway because somebody’s gotta. We also get an intresting wrinkle is superman is, at least I think in this episode I could’ve missed it or misremembered things, mentioned as a fictional character. That’s because originally like the comics this wasn’t part of the DCAU.. but eventually the crew decided it shared staff from it, shared a network, both first run and on reruns, why not just make it part of the DCAU proper. I fully support this decisionf: While i’m midly annoyed unlimited never really used anything from static shock outside of Static himself in the time travel episode, despite you know Static and Gear having BEEN to the tower and not being much younger than Kara and defintely older than Courtney, I chalk it up to weird rights issues or something like that. But having Batman, Batman Beyond, Superman, Green Lantern and the Justice League itself all guest star was a good idea, and expanded both static’s universe and gave the DCAU something differnt as most heroes in it were older and more experinced in contrast to the up and coming virgil. Again really would’ve been nice if he and gear could’ve been a part of the expanded league but production might of just been too far ahead or, given he had his own series, they might just have wanted to stick to toher characters. Also begs the question why Icon or Hardware wasn’t adapted for the expanded League but hey, questions for later and the tricky logisitics of the milestone rights might’ve been the issue. I don’t know I wasn’t in the room. 

So we get a costume montage, including Black Vulcan from Superfriends, who again ironically would be voiced by Lamarr not too long after this, though weirdly they DON’T use his outfit from the comics for this montage. I mean why not? It fits the gag and would’ve been a good second to last choice.But what could’ve been aside we get our winner and cut back to present day...

Thanks boys. Static finds out one of the things in the warehouse is a shipment of computers for the school and can’t help but show off, showing up to the school, where Frieda and Richie are setting up for the dance, and dropping off the computers, and even saying his catchphrase for the first time “I’ll put a shock to your system” (Which Richie chimes in with awesome line and I agree, great catcphrase), before helping set up and flirting with frieda. 

Though as Richtie says he’s a natural. He’s not wrong as he can work a crowd. .but back it up too as his first run out had him easily taking out the crooks, and as many teen superheros and fans of heroes of hte type, myself included will tell you, getting it right in one is not easy. Not even Miles MOrales was immune. All Static needs now is a villian. 

And the end of the episode provides one as we see, in horrifc and once again damn suprising detail most of hte new metas aren’t doing so good and are melting and other stuff and we catch up with Francis whose burning up.. and naturally given that hair, though given he named himself F-Stop it’s the least of his problems, he’s got fire powers and escapes to “Have me some fun”

So with that we end episode 1. And it’s excellent, a great way to introduce the hero and while the warehouse opening is a bit superflous, it is a decent addition, showing our heroes first outing in costume and giving us a bit of an action scene to get us through the very heavy rest of the episode. But the rest of the episode is no less grippping, telling the tale of a teen caught in an unwinnable scenario who suddenly finds a way out. And speaking of which waht of Wade? Will we see him again? Is he perhaps Ebon, the series big bad as I thought when I was a kid? What comes of the man who directly caused static’s origin?

Yeahhh that’s the one mistep I think the pilot makes. Frieda is understandable as that was likely a simple change in creative direction. This though? Why build this guy up if your not going to bring him back. I mean where he went was probably the grave, as he probably did due to his mutation, but it’s still VERY weird to spend a whole episode focusing on this guy, building him up as a big personal threat to our hero.. and NOT have him become the series big bad. And maybe he WAS supposed to be ebon and they just changed their mind. I don’t know but it bothers me it bothers me a lot. Otherwise though flawless. ONe more to go. 

Aftershock: We open outside an electronics store, as our heroes watch the news reacap what happened in the first episode, with the media dubbing it the Big Bang and revealing their could be hundreds of “Metahumans”, as Virgil dubs after deciding the media’s term “Mutant” dosen’t fit, a nice wink to the fact that that’s the term used in dc comics and I believe milestone but could be wrong there. Me I like the term, has a nice ring to it. 

At the store while Richie mulls over waht this means Static finds out he’s a human CD player.... this was before mp3 players and streaming on your phone made them horribly obsolete mind you and if you don’t know what one is congradualtions you live in some sort of bubble and you made me feel really old junior. 

Frieda happens to be there and Virgil quips “What’s the matter they run out of britney cds”. Dude she’s not bad. Also be careful what you wish for man. Nickeback returned the year after this. You have not truly suffered through bad music yet my young friend. They spot a kid looking feverish, and he soon turns into a purple werewolf, as you do. It’s a bang baby.. those are richie’s exact word and you may not want to start a panic there bud. Just saying your best friend is one. THeir not all like this. Our heroes book it only to run into Francis who naturally refuses to let them leave and only doesn’t try to beat up Virgil because Virgil points otu the werewolf and nonplussed, he goes to fight it, scarring it off by revealing his own powers. He’s now dubbed himself Hotstreak which points for getting an actually good name kid. No points for what happens next as unsuprisingly getting powers did NOT mak ehim a better person and he attacks Virgil who blocks with a garbage can lid and thankfully is blasted into an ally. Richie tries to guard frieda for damn obvious reasons but gets hsi shirt burnt up because shut up Thankfully Static shows up, and we get our firsdt full on superhuman fight as both fight each other with aplomb, and it’s a damn good fight.. and one that goes pear shaped for Virg as he’s caught off guard when he finds out Hotstreak can use his powers to fly, and tackles him and his previous trauma causes him to freeze up. Thankfully , as Frieda put in a call earlier, the fire department arrive and HOt streak has to retreat, though Virgil is bummed that he “Choked”. And I love this as it not only shows Virgil’s inepxerince, as this is his first time fighting a bad guy but that just because he HAS power now dosen’t mean trauma and his previous fear of Hotstreak goes away or you won’t freeze up from time to time. It dosen’t make him weak or anything like some assholes would call it .. it makes him human. Humans make mistakes, and it makes him all the more relatable that he’s not pefect and that he did freeze up as I know I certainly would at last once in the circumstances. 

Things don’t get better at dinner as Sharon and Pops argue over the bang babies with Pops calling them a meance and Sharon pointing out Static exists so they can’t all be bad. See assuming a group of superhumans are bad because a handful of them ar edick sis why the x-men had to get their own island nation. You can only save an ungreatful populous so many times before you say “fuck it i’m getting my own island, pay me for life saving drugs, save your damn selves and stop doing genocides on us. Kay thanks”. But he does bring up a valid point that rattles his son: We don’t know anything about the Bang Babies or their biological structures and it’s likely they might further mutate into monsters, Static included. 

Virgil, understandably, wants to check this and thus he and richie compare blood samples in science, to no real conclusion. She he checks out with his doctor who assumes he’s sexually active in a great getting crap past the radar bit and a bit of realisim, but he agrees to the test though if something came up he would have to tell Virgil’s dsad and is up front about this. Nice dose of realisim.

That night City Council has a meeting and the Mayor TRIES to deflect Papa Hawkins questions about the bang babies which again, while being a judgmental ass as not every person hit was a gang member (Virgil, and as we discover later some others), and not every gang member is there by choice, some by circumstnace some, like virgil almost was, because they HAD no other option. Again years of reading x-men may of just made me a bit touchy on assholes admitely assuming superpower people bad. But it’s clear the public is upset and while she says an investigation is underway... Virgil and Richie are not only not convinced, but figure she’s actively covering it up. And unlike everyone else there who probably suspects the same, they can do something about it and tail her.  It’s during this, and cleverly as I didn’t realie till writing this using similar skills to his human cd player act, Virgil listens in and discovers whose behind it: Edwin Alva, whose apparently richer than bill gates and a beloved phinarophist Alva, as it turns out, was actually the arch enemy of Hardware in the comics, taking advantage of the guy in his civiliian idtentiy and thus casuing him to launch a war on the asshole. He does transition into this series well though, being the one behind the gas that caused it and with the mayor agreeing to back off, planning to simply dump the info about the big bang on a disc then destroy everything for now till the heat dies down. Yup sounds like a corprate douchebag. 

Static tails him, finds the lab and infiltrates it, stealing the disc.. but getting caught by Alva’s goon, and trapped in a glass prison, forced to use ALL his power to escape and barely getting out alive, but not before bouncing off alva’s car. Still he now has the proof.. and meanwhile Hotstreak, who I was wrong did get captured, is forced to take pill sbut spits them out once the orderly is gone. Dude.. WHY DIDN’T YOU WATCH HIM. Make sure he swallows that shit especially since, as he has no powers right now and can’t harm you. 

Hotstreak escapes off screen and our heroes discuss the disc before he shows up, and we get a REALLY fucking amazing scene: Virgil ducks into an Alleway and ritchie is worried.. and Virgil disarms him with just one word responses Ritchie: Virg you can’t take him.  Virgil: Gotta. Ritchie: Well at least wait for the fire department Virgil: Can’t.  It’s simpile but it gets the point across: This is his fight, he can’t wait for help, and people need him. And this is what makes a true hero: It’s easy to be a hero when everythings going well.. but it’s the true ones who stick it out against the odds and fight anyway. And he’s going to.  So we get one hell of a fight, though naturally Hotstreak burns up the disc. And I do like this as it dosen’t feel contrived.. yes Static could’ve left it with ritchie.. but he wasn’t thinking in the moment and dind’t really have time to think abotu the disc, only that people were being hurt and he was all they had between them and Hotstreak. It was no choice at all. Still that pisses Virgil off that the last night’s work is now worthless, and he fully charges up and curbstomps francis who retreats into a clearing. Hostreak brags when static follows, as even he’s figured out Static needs to be around metal, as he’s usually on his disc or the street, and in the park there suppodsidly isn’t any. But he’s not THAT smart as Virgil points out two things: one, he hoped to do this on PURPOSE so they wouldn’t be around people and no on e would get hurt and 2).. this is a city, there’s metal everywhere.. and he awesomely and cleverly proves it by unlodging a sewage pipe with his powers and dousing his foe, winning and proving his stuff. I love this solution, it’s a clever spider-man type way to disarm him, using smarts and the einvroment instead of just brute forcing it. Though the sewage part wasn’t intetional our hero still won and gets praise from the people dumb enough to follow the fight. 

However at home Virgil points out it was  Pyrrhic Victory and shows off his smarts by telling the tale behind it, which I didn’t know,because tv tropes didn’t exist yet: king pyrhus fought the romans and WON.. but had so little armies left that he still lost overall. That’s what this feels like to Virgil: he beat hotstreak but any chance at a cure for Bang Babies and Alva going to jail for causing them is gone. His mood does get a boost though as the doctor calls and reveals he’s fine, he just has a bit too much elctrolytes and just needs to lay off teh salt. He celebrates, we get a quick gag and the episode ends

Aftershock is another stellar episoe, giving us Virgil’s first super foe and a personal one at that, while showing some growth. As richie tells him he’s not virgil anymore he’s static and he can’t let his past get to him.. and he does’nt going from cowering in fear to easily beating his foe with simple logic. It’s a good followup that answers questions you may have from the first ep, like what does this do to virgil’s body, who supplied the gas, and why has no one done anything about this, and sets up another villian for Static in Alva. Great stuff. I highly recommend these episodes and the show as a whole: it’s fast paced, grounded and enjoyable, having just enough levity to not be too dour but just enough tension and stakes to be intresting. A throughly fantastic superhero show and one that i’d certainly love to revisit on this blog If you have an episode of static or the dcau in general you’d want me to cover, my comissions are open and details are on a tab on my blog or can be gotten simply by asking me via ask or dm. Tommorow we’re going deeper underground, there’s too much damage in this town as the Lena Retrospective continues. So expect gay ducks, straight ducks and some terrfirmains. See you next rainbow. 

[iamwhelmed]

In light of the new advances of the GKND, I figured I’d share my little KND babes, my future Sector V:

Overall plot:

At the end of Operation INTERVIEW, Rachel went looking for Nigel, and a year after Operation INTERVIEW, she found him. One thing led to another, and Rachel found herself returning to Earth a decade after she became a fugitive of the KND with no Numbuh 1 to show for it, heartbroken and almost empty-handed.

At twenty years old, Rachel was carrying perhaps the only proof that Numbuh 1 hadn’t just fallen off the map-- his one and only baby, not that he knew, of course.

10 years following Rachel’s return, there’s a new Sector V, and an Uno is once again at its helm.

Claire McKenzie:

Operative Numbuh 21. Claire has bounced from place to place her whole life, never really having the time to make friends, and having a fugitive as a mother didn’t help. After hearing stories from her mom about the legendary Numbuh 1, she looks to joining the KND herself, hoping to follow in his footsteps and one day meet the man she so adores. She starts training at the Arctic Base with new trainee Numbuh 25, a girl named Jodie [REDACTED], and makes quick friends with her. Her boyfriend, Soopreme Leadah Numbuh 799, Samson Grey, gives her a cold shoulder most of the time, but she just knows he cares about her, deep down!

She falls into a leadership role immediately after being transferred from London to United States, Virginia, appointed as Sector V Lead. Her loyalty to her friends becomes one of her most defining characteristics, right below her naive optimism and her determination to follow in her dad’s footsteps. Claire aims to become the next greatest KND Operative the world has ever known and, finally, maybe, impress her father enough to convince him to come home.

Timothy Dickson:

Operative Numbuh 7. You read his name right-- Dickson. He’s Numbuh 274′s son, he knows it, and he’s darn-well proud of it. Completely oblivious to his father’s transgressions as a traitor, Timothy inherited his father’s serious demeanor, as well as his hand-to-hand combat skills and expert-level marksmanship. He’s the best of the best, it’s in his blood, and other operatives should bow down as far as he’s concerned. He’s the perfect operative-- but it’s never quite good enough for him. He has to be better, reach his father’s level and go beyond in a way the KND has never seen before. He’s not entirely sure how he’s going to do that, yet, and neither is the rest of Sector V.

He and Claire but heads as two KND Legendary namesakes, but Claire proves herself a worthy rival and loyal friend, and Tim warms up to her, while he proves himself capable of seeing beyond the mission in a way Claire isn’t capable of and earns her respect and trust. He still firmly believes his father was the best KND operative ever, and that Numbuh 1 was a deserter never deserving of his name. He’s fiercely protective of his team in a way none of the other operatives are.

Daisy [REDACTED]:

Operative Numbuh 388. Perhaps the prettiest girl to walk the Moonbase, Daisy is as feisty as she is sweet. She’s not above toying with admirers to get them to do her schoolwork, but she’s perfectly serious when it comes to KND work (most of the time). Totally unaware of [REDACTED], Daisy is very much 01101000 01100101 01110010 00100000 01100110 01100001 01110100 01101000 01100101 01110010 01110011 00100000 01100100 01100001 01110101 01100111 01101000 01110100 01100101 01110010 in a punch-first-ask-questions-later kinda way, with a power in her punch to match. Despite the flower in her hair and the pretty face and her collection of Rainbow Monkeys, Daisy is not the most feminine of girls. She’s totally uninterested in romance-- unless we’re talking about matchmaking, which many a KND operative has been the victim of in the past. She’s not Sector V’s covert specialist for nothing!

Daisy spends most of her time bickering with her brother Tank (who she doesn’t think likes her very much), and snarking at his collective group of “idiot” friends. She’s exceedingly close with Sector V’s 2x4 Tech Officer Jodie [REDACTED], and when they’re not lazing around the treehouse with magazines and complex prank blueprints, they’re getting themselves into what Jodie has affectionately termed “side quests”-- wild adventures that define what childhood means to the two of them.

Their partnership is the bane of Claire’s existence.

Tank [REDACTED]:

Operative Numbuh 488. Daisy’s younger brother and self-proclaimed Daisy-plaything. Tank is pretty boyish. He loves basketball, and the small group of friends that he plays with, though friends would be a stretch in his opinion. A lot of the time, he and the other guys are exchanging insults. He likes to hang with these guys when he’s off the clock, but Sector V are his actual friends. 

He’s less ready to throw punches than Daisy is, but if his fists go up, they won’t go down until he hears a bell. Relentless, Tank is short and overly sensitive, but also scathingly sarcastic. He may be the team medic, but he’s equally as good at digging salt into wounds as he is patching them up. If you land a hit on him, be prepared to get it twicefold back. Even if he and Daisy don’t get along (often), Tank loves his sister very much, and he is the only person allowed to hurt her feelings.

Jodie [REDACTED]:

Operative Numbuh 25. The youngest of two, Jodie grew up fascinated with her older brother, 01001000 01101111 01100001 01100111 01101001 01100101, a brilliant mechanical engineer who never became a KND operative, but has been awarded several medals for his valiant assistance in the Great War of ‘18. He’s 13 years old, and she’s just ten, but he’s her whole world. She’s close with her mother and her father, and though she’s a nerd through and through, she’s the coolest nerd anybody has ever known. 2x4 motorcycles, charisma, wit, and a pair of goggles strapped on her sidebraided head, Jodie is likely the craftiest of Sector V. Brilliant and somewhat obsessive, Jodie takes her work very seriously-- but she also takes her play very seriously.

No prank or plan can be half-baked. She’s got blueprints on blueprints of ideas she and Daisy are yet to unfold-- from pranks that trick every boy on campus out of their lunch money to treasure maps to hidden places nobody has ever explored. Jodie was Claire’s first friend, as they were assigned partners during extensive KND training. There was something... that called her to Claire, and Claire to her in turn, almost like they were meant to meet each other (Jodie’s mom thinks Claire looks little familiar, but she’s not sure where she’s seen her). It was during this training that Jodie fell head-over-heels for, at the time, Senior Operative Samson Grey/Numbuh 799. Claire expressed her interest in Sam before Jodie could, and Jodie knew how bad it would hurt her if she went after him, so she relented and encouraged Claire to make a move.

[metanoiamorii]

❛A DEVIL'S FINEST TRICK IS TO PERSUADE YOU THAT HE DOES NOT EXIST.❜

Dámianus took in a breath when he heard the familiar, annoying footsteps stomping forward. With haste, came the familiar, annoying voice. "Can you believe it?!"

Breathing in, it took his full strength to keep a leveled tone, not show his annoyance. "Believe what?"

His brother scowled, as if he was the idiot present. "They failed!"

"Pity." Was all Dámianus could think to say. He had to hide his smile upon hearing the news. He had an act to keep. "They must have not followed the plan, I did give them detailed instructions after all."

"How are you so apathetic?!" Makjo scoffed, eyes rolling. "That's our father—"

"Your father." Dámianus corrected. "You are his son, I am his errand boy."

"Oh wow, its a misery you proved yourself capable and he saw your potential!" Makjo mockingly threw back, going as far to make a fake, crying gesture to accompany his words.

Dámianus, however, quick to smile, tilted his head to the side. "Oh, does that mean he saw no potential in you?"

It was worth it, to watch the brat's features scrunch and his face to go red. A finger raised, and going to bite back. "You—"

Already walking off, Dámianus tucked the parchment beneath his arm. "I suppose I will go meet with our allies and see what went wrong." Casually he spoke, striding forward, leaning down, pecking his brother's cheek, and using the opportunity to quietly whisper, "Don't grow too comfortable. Many people will come for your crown." Before Makjo could reply, he had already taken his leave, to find better company he could tolerate.

At least the brat was an idiot. He had yet to see through everything. He had slipped up with their father, the bastard caught on at the last second. He barely corrected that.. But he had no doubt with Makjo, the brat would never see anything coming... still. He needed to be more careful if all were to be successful.

♧ Chosen Name: Dámianus D'truiryxr

♧ Aliases:

• Dame

• Dami

• Damocles Aliah Teivel; his human guise

• Your Glorious Insane Highness

• Ali; reserved for his nanny alone

• Funny Monkey Man; reserved for his partner

• Lord Teivel

• Princeling

♧ Known as:

• The Angel Of Darkness

• The Mad One of The Void

• The Mad Trickster

• The Mad One

• The Trickster of Madness

• The Bane of All

• The Lord of the Citadel of Madness

♧ Gender: Agender

♧ Preferred Pronouns: He/They

♧ Race: Old One

♧ Sexuality: Grey-Asexual; Aromantic

♧ Ethnicity: Will appear Kiyese in a human guise

♧ Height: 7'02 in his true appearance; 6'03.5 in a human appearance

♧ Age Appearance: In a human guise he appears in his late thirties, early forties.

♧ True Appearance: Dámianus is said to take after his mother more than his father. From his father he inherited the smooth rounded ears and slim, nearly hairless tail with a tuft of black fur at the tip. As the natural red eyes he possesses. He's rather slim, but tall, with pale skin. He possesses a set of dark wings that tend to drag behind him and are rarely used. For the most part, humanoid.

♧ Human Appearance: For the life of me, I cannot find out their name, so if anyone knows it please tell me.

♧ Key Personality Traits: Manipulative, Cunning, Brilliant, Quick-witted, Vengeful, Well Mannered

♧ Alignment: Lawful Evil

♧ Parents:

• Rihtyxr, father

• Unknown mother

♧ Siblings:

•  Hinvyka, brother

• Kysia, sibling

• Tysie, sister

• Nevzan, brother

• Makjo, brother [deceased]

• Mal'rybos, brother

• Slyra, brother [deceased]

• A several hundred other siblings

♧ Partner(s):

• Misam

♧ Other Blood Relations:

• Tyronjis, uncle

• Kaiuroga, aunt

• Arz-Ler'erso, uncle

• Trik'Rjrkite, uncle

• Au-Zaiur'hka, aunt

• Rons'ta, uncle

• Gazini, cousin

• Ao-Ao, cousin

• Eoau, cousin

• Ny'jsetti, cousin

• Jitka Shirin, nanny, sister and maternal figure

♧ Allies:

• Isfétte

• Jitka Shirin

• Kregznic

• Marzomme

• E'aligesri

• Rohabizal

• Ao-Ao

• Eoau

• Gazini

• Jinx

• Ianira

• Misam

• Mehpijka'om

• Eskrja

• Grumpy

• A few hundred others I haven't fleshed out

♧ Enemies:

• Rons'ta

• Tyronjis

• Kaiuroga

• Arz-Ler'erso

• Trik'Rjrkite

• Au-Zaiur'hka

• Rihtyxr

♧ Brief Backstory:

The eldest of Rihtyxr's hundreds of children, Dámianus always served closer as an errand boy than a son. He grew up fast, without the choice of a childhood, to take care of his siblings. Early on, he accepted his role in the family and gracefully handled the responsibilities thrusted onto him. The older— maturer— he became, the more he would distant himself form his family and those family ties. He treated his family like colleagues and allies and not a family.

Only by the influence of Jitka and Isfétte would Dámianus finally accept his gifts and natural talent as a mastermind, and one manipulative son of a bitch. With their assistance and guidance, he would hone his talent to have power over them. When he finally held a strong belief in himself, he set himself to the task of consuming power. Slowly, he turned the allies of his family against them, buying their loyalty to serve him.

With the dependence the family held on him to make their plans and ensure their survival, he was able to trick them. He fooled them into going to war with Khaalida, and trapped them under her watch. The power vacuum was his for the taking... But he decided to play the long game. He allowed his siblings to fight for the power, and he accompanied his cousin— G'javinizia — on his travels across the multi-verse for a time. To further his own knowledge and powers.

When he finally became confident in himself once more, he returned. He got his old allies in line and began to form new ones. And soon, he finally began to get involved in the affair of Viogia to plant his influence. When his influence was sewn deep, Dámianus created his human guise and entered, to act first hand and began inacting the plans he had started so long ago.

♧ Weapon of Choice:

• Roibac'da, The Whip of Insanity

• Tac'bet, a sentient chain

• A set of chained gloves

• His signature cloak

• His sword collection

• A treasured fan he's gifted to his partner

♧ Classification: Trickster

♧ Power Domain: Madness, Trickery, Illusion, Psychic, Enchantment, Time, Wishes

♧ Playlist:

• Burn, Beth Crowley

• Where The Lonely Ones Roam, Digital Daggers

• Coming Home, Avenged Sevenfold

• Feeling Good, Michael Buble

• Broken Crown, Mumford and Sons

• Leader of the Broken Hearts, Papa Roach

• Centuries, Fall Out Boys

• Everyone Wants To Rule The World, Future Royalty

• When You're Evil, Voltaire

• You're Gonna Go Far Kid, The Offspring

• Hard To Kill, Beth Crowley

• Trouble, Valerie Broussard

• You Can Run, Adam Jones

• The Dark Ones, Karliene

• Keep You Safe, Crane Wives

• She Lit A Fire, Lord Huron

• Control, Halsey

• Castle, Halsey

• Monster, Imagine Dragons

• When The Day Comes, Nico and Vinz

• Last One Standing, Simple Plan

• Soldier's Dance, Adrisaurus

• Final Warning, Skylar Grey

• Angel of Darkness, Alex C

• Meet Me On The Battlefield, SVRCINA

• Night Of The Hunter, 30 Seconds To Mar

• Bad Man, King 810

• Throne, Bring Me The Horizon

• I'd Love To Change The World, King 810

♧ Current Wip: Coming Home [CH], The Legacy of Vires Ius [TSOVI], Mercy No More [MNO], A Rope In Hand [ARIH]; he's likely to appear in all of my wips in Viogia as a source of problem starter.

COMING HOME:

THE LEGACY OF VIRES IUS:

A ROPE IN HAND:

GENERAL:

ON ALL:

♧ Some fun facts!

• He has a pet cat named Grumpy, it's based off a displacer beast!

• He takes a shot of whiskey every time one of his idiots does something stupid.

• He's a man that just wants a vacation at this point, somewhere nice and quiet, a distant beach, without responsibilities.

• He says he doesn't like children, but if given the opportunity he'd probably adopt an entire orphanage or seventy.

• The only people he will possibly listen to, to get him to back down from doing something, is Jitka and Isfétte.

• He knows how to hold a grudge. It doesn't matter how many years it takes, he'll get payback... In an extreme fashion that is probably unwarranted in that degree.

• Given the chance, he would kill 96% of his siblings and family...

• Although he's the source of major chaos in the universe, he cares deeply for order and rules.

• In public he will dress in tailcoats, but as long as he's home he prefers to wear a variety of kimonos.

• The only way you can upset him is by: mentioning Rons'ta in his presence, favoring his siblings in his presence, dissing his nanny, being disrespectful towards women when he's around, hurting and/or belittling children and animals in his presence. And then, and only then, he'll kill you without remorse!

[dragonprincess18]

Third Place Event Prize!

This Fluff Alphabet is for my own character from The Dragon That Will Pierce The Heavens, Hikari, as requested by @erilerichan! I hope you like her!

A-Activities: What do they like to do with their boyfriends/girlfriend? How do they spend their free time together?

*Hikari tends to be content as a homebody

*Yes, their home is a ship, but that’s not the point

*As a dragon, her instincts prefer staying close to the ‘nest’, which is the Sunny

*So her favorite activities tend to be things like reading a book while cuddling in a hammock, or knitting while leaning against one of her boyfriends

*Considering all of their pretty bad childhoods, all five are big cuddle-bugs with varying levels of acceptance

*Luffy is usually hanging off her back like a monkey, or buried in her cleavage, sometimes napping with her boobs as a pillow, which Hikari has gotten very used to at this point

*Zoro will pull her onto his lap for naps, and Hikari usually takes the time to read a book if she’s not feeling like a nap herself

*Law is secretly a nerd, as we all know, and Hikari often collects coins to sift through with him for his collection, or they’ll read comics together in the secrecy of their cabin

*When Kid isn’t being so handsy, Hikari will hang out in his workshop, talking about whatever project he’s working on

*Other activities usually involve the ‘kids’, like joining Zoro in training Gina, or helping Chopper and Sora study whatever subject Law introduced them to, or supervising Luffy as he plays a game of Tag with Merry or Kid while he tests out whatever he built with Gina

*Really, though, Hikari’s favorite is when all five end up in a lazy cuddle-pile

I-Inspiration: Did their boyfriends/girlfriend change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things, or helping them overcome personal problems?

*When Hikari ran away from home, she was much more prickly

*Certainly a more sarcastic personality, trying to hide that she really cares a lot

*Meeting Luffy was the first step to her really opening up to humans after what happened to her mother and brother

*By the time they started the alliance with Law and Kid, Hikari was much more comfortable with showing her caring, nurturing side while still being the Adult of the Straw Hat Pirates

*It’s because of how Luffy and Zoro helped her that Hikari joined in influencing changes in Law and Kid

*Neither would ever admit it, but they were definitely calmer and happier after joining the relationship once everything settled

*So really, all of them influenced each other into healing, and the five of them are definitely better off

K-Kiss: Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

*Hikari tries not to think about if she’s a good kisser or not

*Either she does it spontaneously (usually when one of her boyfriends finds her a key) or is surprised by one of them giving her a kiss

*Kissing around others always flusters Hikari when she’s aware and not acting on impulse, so she’s very shy about reciprocating

*Luffy doesn’t mind at all, and kisses her whenever the impulse comes upon him

*To Luffy, she’s like the best candy in the world, all soft and sweet, and he just can’t resist

*Hikari tends towards lazy make-out sessions with Zoro, usually in the privacy of their cabin, and his sleepy wake-up kisses always give her butterflies

*Kid is honestly shameless, somehow more than Luffy, always going for deep, wet kisses no matter where they are or what’s going on at the time

*Hikari knows he does it because of how flustered she gets, but can’t help blushing and squeaking every time

*Punching Kid in the ribs does nothing to dissuade him

*Law is almost as private as she is, preferring short, sweet kisses if any when out on a new island or around strangers

*But among their crews, or when someone tries to make a move, Law is pointedly indulgent

*Much to her embarrassment, Hikari’s very first kiss ever was the one she gave Luffy back in Orange Town when he gave her that first silver key for Nikora

*Just like her first kiss with Zoro was in that weapons’ shop in Loguetown, when he gave her Moro’s key

*And her first kiss with Law, when he gave her a silver key not long after their alliance started...

*And then again with Kid, who saw what happened with Law and immediately went out to find a silver key for himself...

*Law, bless him, at least doesn’t bring that up

*Unlike the rest of them

*So Hikari doesn’t think she’s much of a kisser, but her boyfriends vehemently disagree

[curious-minx]

Denis Leary is making an animated vignette series based on Dogs Playing Poker and 10 Other Pieces of Kitsch Art That Should Be Turned Into TV

KITSCH auction house tremors and stampedes.

Dennis Leary basically discovered sex, drugs and rock n’ roll with his 2015 two season FX series Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll. Leary’s always been one of those guys that can’t be beaten down  in spite of how dopey and cynical his edgy working class personal brand is. He’s got an entire deal set up with Fox, the flailing broadcasting company has placed all of their chips on a Denis with only one lousy  “N” in his name. I can’t even with this fake Irish Bostonian droid. Relish in the delicate thought process of Leary and leftover former Daily Show producer, Jim Margolis,  bringing up a Pinterest screen grab of the Dogs Playing Poker by Grand Master of Kitsch Cassius Marcellus Coolidge and money signs popping out of both of their heads. Here is a dramatic retelling of this thought process:

“Yo, get this Big D,” salivates the recently fired from Netflix Jim Margolis to Leary over a Zoom, “Fox got this Bento Box Animation Studio sitting around doing nothing but churning out animated interstitials for the Masked Singer, Paradise PD, The Prince, The Blues Brothers animated series, animated Harold And Kumar, Housebroken, The Great North, and ugh..um..Hoops..”

“I fuckin love Hoops, Jimmy! Why aren’t we pitching this on Netflix again?”

“Because Dogs Playing Poker is going to work so much better as pregame filler for live Sporting Events...on Fox.”

“Oh yeah. All of those rotten good for nothing grease monkey and lunch pail people will probably be giving each other Budweiser flavored Covid at the local saloon with these damn dog pictures hanging up. It’s like when old drunks would stay out late and watch the Flinstones at the bar, did you know that actual human male adults would sit in a town like Boston and waste away in a bar watching Flintsones. Can you believe that Johny?”

“My name is Jimmy, err Jim, but yeah Denis we’ll send you the scripts over. Any idea who we should cast?”

“Get me the hot blonde from Inspector Gadget 2, God dammit I miss Louie..are we sure we can’t get Louie back on air?”

“Afraid after Patton Oswalt dognapped his role from him in Secret Life of Pets, Louie CK has been banned from ever appearing as a talking dog again.”

“So bogus. Bobby Kelly will have to do.” Denis gets a text. “Dammit, Adam is getting all thirsty for this juicy  delicious bone. Gotta throw a  big bone to my dog Ferrera. Who else?”

“Ok. I’ll get one of those sad Daily Show losers. Um picking one at random, Roy Wood Jr. They’ll pretty much jump into anything, because John Oliver was in Love Guru they start thinking they can fail their way up.”

“I said no politics at the table! Paws off the table! This is going to be so fucking lit!”

////

Kitsch Art deserves so much more. George Lucas, retired American filmmaker, robber baron of childhoods and all around  mensch has been heavily invested in the kitsch art of Norman Rockwell. There are a bounty of stories to tell. Too many of them are far too white and basic, but there are rich narratives to be found in his out of date even for his own time romanticism of The Old Masters. Hopelessly out of date could have been a failing of Rockwell, but his politics grew progressive as his career went on and fought against the system. Cassius Marcellus Coolidge is the man that operated the first bank in Antwerp, New York  had the astronaut-like grace to wonder, “what if dogs played poker like people played poker?” A painting that dates back to 1894 used as means to sell cigars. What strikes me most about this painting is that they aren’t wearing clothes, but I bet when you try to imagine the painting you imagine these dogs fully decked out in some sort of work coat. There is a further anthropromized version of the ad called “His Station and Four Aces” that depicts a glimpse at a look at an entire canine furry society. His ideas of putting an animal in clothes remains to this day one of the most novel and surefire commercially friendly means of artistic expression. The original cynical man laughing all the way to the bank, his own bank that he founded to boot.

Seen above: An example of a Comic Foreground that also demonstrates the failings of having too few people in your party to properly partake in the comic foreground experience. 

“Cash” Cassius wasn’t the first man to imagine a domestic pet in people clothes, but he’s probably one of the few to do so with such commercial finesse. The man also at one point filed the patent on the “Comic Foregrounds,” which is the technical name of one of those carnival boards with holes to stick your head in. In post Covid times how many more heads will be salivating and rushing towards those holes to pop their heads in to create a lasting memory, if only for a second. So when I start learning more about this remarkable weirdo Cassius Coolidge, a man according to his official website dogsplayingpoker.com’s Biography: “Trying to chase mischievous boys from an abandoned house, he fell from a window and hurt his knee, leaving him injured for the rest of his life.”

Flash forward back to 2021 and Denis Leary and his career a man with a wikipedia with fun entries about all the accusations of plagiarism and hate speech against autism I start to worry about the legacy of more Kitsch art falling into the hands of other greedy and desperate TV executives. That being said if you are a greedy TV executive who happens to be a maniac that likes reading rando’s tumblr pages do I have a list for you!

TOP TEN PIECES OF KITSCH ART THAT SHOULD BE TURNED INTO SOME KIND OF SOMETHING

“We Are Having a Heavenly Time” Columbian Bike Monkey and Parakeet by, once again, Cassius Coolidge

Coolidge’s anthropomorphic foresight strikes again! This time he effortlessly establishes a captivating duo that could be easily voiced by an endless combination of celebrity voice actors. PAUL RUDD as “Monkey” and ISSA RAE as “Parakeet” present “We Are Having a Heavenly Time” present a travel show. You could basically use whatever leftover footage you have lying around from the many Conan O’Brien segments and plug Monkey and Parakeet and their trusty bicycle anywhere for an irreverent glimpse into the foreign World around us.

2. “Clown and The Girl” by Haddon Sundblom  

Now I know what you’re thinking, that title is miserable! I agree, but with a little  reverse engineering you get The Girl and Clown, which could be a whole new addition to the Girl on a Train, Girl with a Dragon Tattoo, Girl with a Dangly Earpiece, the Girl-Verse! The girl appears to be quite fearless of this clown, which is good because we need someone to be brave for when the clown takes off his mask.

Sundblom is also the original artist for the Coke a cola Santa Claus and how is it that we have gone this many rotations around the sun without a single Coke a cola Santa Claus special is the real reason why Christmas will always be the saddest time of year.

3. “Clean Your Fornasetti” based around the artistic Plate collection of Pierro Fornasetti 

Muk bangs, videos of people eating are a huge cyber traffic boom. People love watching people eat. Why not add the element of surprise by what kind of playful Fornasetti chanteuse is hiding underneath this plate full of gruel? Fornasetti is an artist with over 11,000 items created in his name and over 500 of them are based around a variety of expressions of a single woman. Clean Your Fornasetti is a deep and poetic rumination of the romance between the act of someone cleaning their plate and the reveal that the plate contained a visual feast all its own.

4. “Mickey’s Kinkade Playhouse” by the one and only Thomas Kinkade

The Kinkade Studios features over 63 “narrative panoramas” featuring Disney characters, but largely Mickey and Minnie, simply vibing. It’s time we stop pretending that small children like Mickey Mouse and market him for wistful older audiences that want to radiate in a nice long warm bath of color and sound. I am not sure I am even pitching an actual series but more of a Narrative Panoply. One thing that is missing from Disney Plus, and streaming services in general, is a severe lack of programming frills and flourishing. The iconic Adult Swim bumps are something completely lost to the dustbins of programming history left to remain in youtube compilations. Thomas Kinkade is a lot like Enya. Art critics treated him like a comedic punching bag for so long, but I doubt there’s an artist that grasps the kind of sterile enchantment people want after a long day of opioid benders. We’re all trapped inside doing puzzles why not do the bare minimum of slightly animating a pleasant scene of Mickey and Minnie roasting marshmallows or enjoying a breath of fresh Alpine air?

5. “Dust Lickers” by Odd Nerdrum

Quick! Get me Trash Humpers’ Harmony Korine on the Line Show him Shit Rock! The world of Odd Nerdrum is a harsh and primeval one that would make for an astonishing animated landscape. Odd Nerdrum himself feels like a worthy subject of some kind of documentary based around his imagery and insistence on making his art in the most arcane and old fashioned methods possible. Once again, maybe the visual world of Odd Nerdrum may not make for a full on narrative series, but once again would make for one hell of an animated segment.

6. “Homemade Pasta” by John Currin 

A cozy Queer slice of life cooking drama based around the two charming fellows of John Currin’s Homemade Pasta scene. A series of vignettes based around the completely unfabulous and domestic version of bliss that was denied many people as a result of the AIDS crisis. You can’t tell me you don’t see those two nice guys getting cozy and making pasta together and you aren’t dying to see how they go about rolling out their own focaccia bread.

7. “The Velvet Elvis” by the Collective Conscious 

David Lynch at one point in time was trying to crack into making his own Elvis biopic. I think it’s pretty safe to say that the age of a public wanting a David Lynch directed Elvis biopic has probably passed, but that does not stop Velvet art enthusiasts. TheVelvetStore.com is featuring a remarkable promo that could really bump up what a David Lynch Elvis movie could be like and the horror of having one’s soul trapped inside of a Velvet Elvis rendition painting seems like a pretty fertile place to begin a proper story about Elvis in America. 

8. “Big Eye Bunch” by Margaret Keane 

Yes, it was only a matter of time before Ms. Big Eyes herself, Queen of Kitsch, Margaret Keane would come up on a list like this. Tim Burton tried and sort of kind of captured what it so endearing about Keane’s work, but I think a fully animated dive into an orphanage full of sad Big Eye kids that time travel and meet other Big Eyed children version of historical figures is a Big Idea that could make a whole new generation keen on Keane.

9. “Banality” by Jeff Koons

An animated series based around the artistic sensibilities of Jeff Koons would be a tricky affair, but just the kind of gaudy whimsy that someone like Michel Gondrey could use to proper effect. A series based around someone trying to steal the fifteen million dollar Michael Jackson statue would also be appropriate.

10. “Groovenians reboot” by Kenny Scharf

Scharf is the only artist on this list that actually was a kitsch artist that caught the attention of early aughts adult swim. A tv show that only features the artistic sensibilities of Scharf but also a voice acting cast that consisted of Paul Reubens, Rupaul, Vincent Gallo, and Dennis Hopper. There’s also a theme song performed by the B-52s and musical direction by Devo’s Mark Mothersbaugh. One of the only known published reviews of the pilot describe the show as needing mind altering substances to enjoy and that it is essentially like “watching a cartoon reflected off of a funhouse mirror. This is basically a description of the modern tik tok addled twitchy type content that makes a killing on the Internet for millenial and zoomer types. Basically the whole aesthetic of a warped and broken looking cartoon is the exact sort of thing weirdos deep diving at youtube at four in the morning are looking for and seeing that this gets a failed pilot and Denis Leary’s Dog Poker vignettes get greenlit is exactly what’s wrong with the world.

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: Love, Maybe? {23}

Chris Evans X Reader OFC Vixen Giovanni

Warning: Mild Cursing, Plot, Slow Burn, Fluff

Word Count: 4K

Summary: After a night of drunkenness you wake up next to warm, hot as hell body, a migraine and no memory of the night before. When you come to realize that the hot body belongs to none other than Hollywood’s golden boy Chris Evans you freak out. As events unfold you become even more panicked to find out you got married in your drunken haze. What else is there to do but get it annulled, right? Before walking away, you share one more night of molten kisses and passion. Three years later you are still living with the repercussions of your brash decisions, but the surprises don’t stop there. The past has a way of coming back and have you questioning is this fate that you’ve been running from, hell could it have been love, maybe?

Note: Italic texts is an inner Vixen thought. Bold Italic texts is an inner Chris thought.

**Slightly Edited/Proofread**

***Interactive**

Thank you guys for reading!!!! If you enjoyed this please LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG. 😊 ❤️  ❤️ ❤️

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 23: The Four Musketeers

-Chris-

He’d never been more scared in all his life, and that included when he was ten years old walking him from school after he’d cut Jenny Park’s hair. He was afraid because he had to face his mother and whatever punishment she came up with and then had to face his sister Carly. It was not a fun afternoon. Matter of fact he didn’t have any fun for a month.

  He was filled with the same feeling of dread today, standing outside his sister Carly’s house where his siblings were inside waiting for him. Thanks to Scott and his big mouth they all knew, and he knew it was a matter of time before his mother also did. Now there was this new bit of information. Sighing, he walked the path to the front porch. Once in front of the door, he lifted his hand to knock, but the door flew open, and he was face to face with Carly and Shanna who each had a similar look of anger and confusion. He groaned and thought to himself it was going to be a long day.

   He walked inside and to where Scott was no doubt hiding, the kitchen. Sure enough there he was sitting at the island sipping a beer. When he walked in, Scott turned and gave him an apologetic look. “Ya didn’t even last a day!” Just like that they all began talking at once, over each other. He heard what they all said and responded as they spoke their next sentences. It went on this way for a full ten minutes before Carly let loose a loud whistle. Everyone stopped and looked to her.

“Everyone shut your yaps!” He groaned and lamented the oncoming conversation and questioning. He walked to the fridge and took out his own beer. After opening it against the side of the wooden island he took a few heavy gulps.

   “Chris, sit down,” Carly instructed. “I’d rather stand for now.”

   “I’ll sit down,” Shanna said, sinking into one of the stools at the island. Silence filled the room, and he realized all their eyes were on him. He rolled his eyes.

   “Okay, let me start,” Scott began. “Oh, I think we’ve had enough of you starting,” he interjected.

   “It slipped out Chris; I didn’t mean to say anything. I’m sorry.”

   “Why were you trying to keep secrets from us anyway? What the hell, Chris!”

   “I didn’t know how to tell you guys. Plus I knew once you knew then ma wouldn’t be far behind.”

   “Oh, ma is gonna kill you. Explain!” He raked his fingers through his hair and leaned on the fridge.

   “Who is this woman? How the hell could she keep something like this from you? What kind of woman does that?” Carly was livid. He didn’t know if her anger was more directed at him or you. He didn’t want his family hating you, but he knew once the truth came out the possibility was likely.

   “We had a fling in Vegas a while back, one or two nights. She went her way, and I went mine. I didn’t know until maybe two months or so ago.”

   “Two months? Chris,” Carly sighed out. “Where was the protection?” He scoffed and drank more from his bottle.

   “The one time it didn’t cross my mind.”

   “Jesus Chris.” She paced then spun around. “Who is this woman!?” He’d heard the question the first time, but he bypassed it. He couldn’t now.

   “Just a woman.” Shanna jumped up then and scurried to her bag then came back with a magazine in her hand. She flipped through the pages and dropped it on the island top. “Is this her?” He took the magazine and leaned closer to the blurry image. It was you he knew it. It looked like it was taken outside the same place you both were bombarded in front of her restaurant. He clenched his jaw and sent a text to his incompetent lawyers to get to work on it. He didn’t want you hounded.

   “It’s her, isn’t it?” All three of them grabbed the magazine and dug their noses in it trying to make out what they could. He was grateful they couldn’t make out anything.

   “Don’t worry about who she is. You have a niece. Her name is Ella, and she will be two soon. She’s perfect.” He put his phone down showing them the picture you’d sent him earlier that day of her eating a cookie. Shanna and Carly both gasped then let out a collective “aw.”

   “She has your eyes, Chris,” Shanna informed. He nodded. “She’s gorgeous,” Carly added. He smiled unable to hold it back anymore.

   “What kind of woman hides a child from her father?”

   “She says she didn’t do it out of spite. When we knew each other, I wasn’t this stable. Remember me almost three years ago?”

   They each slowly nodded. “You were pictured with a different woman almost every night,” Shanna very vocally announced. “It was not every night.”

   “Yeah, it was. You couldn’t keep it in your pants little brother,” Carly added. Scott snorted and tried to stifle his laughter.

   “Whatever. I was single and enjoying life. Anyway, who I was then—a kid—there was no way that would have worked. I’ve done a lot of thinking and assessing mainly taking my feelings out of the equation. From an outsider looking in which is what she was, I was a hot mess.”

  “Are you saying you condone what she did?” He looked at Carly’s big eyes. She was shocked. He was too. Two months ago he would never have been able to admit you were right, or think about the fact that your worries and concerns were valid. He could do that now. He didn’t condone what you did, but he was able to understand your choices; especially after spending time with Ella and feel the smallest part of the weight of having a child. He wanted to protect her from anything and everything. He understood how you felt.

   “I don’t condone it, but I understand where she was coming from. I don’t like it, not at all, I missed a lot, and I’ll never be able to get that time back. Sometimes it makes me angry and resentful, but I don’t want to live in the past anymore. I want to find a way to make this work. She’s incredible, and I want to be her father.”

   His siblings stared at him, then their smiles appeared.

  “Wow, little brother all grown up, a baby,” Carly said as tears filled her eyes.

   “Shut up you sap.” They all laughed then hugged in a group. He was grateful this wasn’t too bad, grateful that they weren’t angry with him for keeping this secret and thankful they’d accepted it so easily. He’d imagined tens of different scenarios where this went a whole lot differently.

   “Ma is going to kill you.” Again, they all laughed, but it wasn’t a humored laugh. It was a nervous one, one they shared because now they all knew the secret.

   The four of them sat at the island and ate some of the lasagna that Carly made while they asked tens of questions about Ella, questions he happily answered, and the more he answered he realized he knew a fair amount about her. That fact alone made him realize how far things had come.

By the time he left his sister’s house it was nearing nine. He made a stop at his friend’s house to pick up Dodger and went for a long walk hoping to clear his head.

   As he walked down the familiar streets of his childhood, he allowed his mind to wander without controlling it. He smiled when he caught a whiff of apple pie. He could go for a slice. He followed his nose and made it to the nearby bakery and ordered a pie. As he drove back to his place his mind ran on you. He wondered what you were doing right now and imagined you were lying in bed scrolling through the tv lineup or working nonstop. He got the feeling you were a workaholic. As his mind drifted to what you may be wearing he took notice to how his palms began to sweat.

   In the last week since the night on the cliff he’d had plenty of dreams about you, some were innocent, and others were so far from innocent they would make the worst sinner blush. He’d thought long and hard about what he may be feeling, and where his head currently was. He knew he didn’t hate you; he also knew that he still found you attractive, he also knew his body still reacted to you like oil to flame, and he struggled more lately to keep tight reins on his wanton thoughts.

   The news that you were in fact still married was a huge monkey wrench for him. He’d just gotten used to the fact he had a daughter that he didn’t know, only just got used to the fact that you’d lied to him for so long. He’d just gotten over most of the hurt of knowing all of that and was beginning to figure out his place in Ella’s life. Now he still had a place in your life as well.

   When he walked inside his home, he let Dodger roam free then laid out some food for him. He decided to hop in the shower. He hoped the steam would help him unwind. After ten minutes of thoughtlessness he was ambushed by thoughts of you again.

   “Does she even want me in her life?”

   The question was one he’d asked himself before, but it was concerning Ella, always with Ella. Now he was thinking of you alone. Your actions were polite; they didn’t point to either possibility. It looked as if you could take him or leave him. Your indifference made him a little insecure, and it drove him crazy. He wasn’t used to the feeling. He was always secure with himself. You gave off the feeling like you wanted to keep space between you. Every time the two of you seemed to be having a good time, or conversation was flowing, and the air around you changed something always happened, and in seconds it felt like the ice age. He didn’t know what he’d done. He began to wonder if this was from the present or the past. He wanted to bring it up, but he also didn’t want to ruin what was. You’d just gotten to a point where he didn’t lash out because of your actions, and you didn’t become angry defensive. He liked where you were now, but he couldn’t ignore the part of him that wanted more.

   “I want more.” He sat on his bed still wrapped in his towel, staring out shocked by it. “How much more?” That was now the question. “Does she want more? Bro, she doesn’t act like it.”

   Groaning, he dropped back onto his bed and sighed out trying to push the thoughts away. Suddenly his eyes snapped open. “We’re still married. Maybe if I keep it that way it’ll give me a chance to get to know her—outside of Ella.” He sat up and thought about his half-brained plan. “Maybe I should date my wife.” The words together had him laughing; it was ridiculous.

   When he finally sat back down, he had the apple pie with him. He turned on the TV in the bedroom and allowed dodger to jump up on the bed. It was there they stayed. When his phone rang he reached over for it and saw it was a Facetime call from you. He smiled as he answered.

   “Hi.” Your face popped up, but you didn’t speak. Your eyes also weren’t looking in his. He looked down and realized he was shirtless. He thought to turn the camera away to pull on a shirt but decided against it.

   “Let’s do a little experiment.”

   “Vixen?” You shook your head and cleared your throat. “Sorry, hi.” He smiled and straightened his back against his headboard.

   “Did I wake you? It’s after eight.”

   “Uh, no, it’s actually close to midnight where I am, and no you didn’t wake me.”

   “Where are you?”

  “Remember I told you I had to go back home for a day or two?” You closed your eyes and hit your head.

   “I forgot, I’m sorry. Wow there’s been so much going on here.” He smiled and nodded; he completely understood. You worked too much.

   “It’s okay; I get it. You’re doing a lot, being supermom, your restaurant, it’s a lot.” You didn’t speak again for a few moments. You just stared at him.

   “Um, I was uh I was thinking about Ella’s birthday.”

   “It’s coming up, right?” You nodded. He smiled getting excited. “What are you planning?”

   “I wasn’t sure. It’s like so many things are different now.”

   “What do you normally do?” You took a deep breath, and it was then he realized you were in bed. The nightgown you wore was a low cut one, and he could tell you weren’t wearing a bra. He shifted in the bed forcing his brain to focus on what you were saying.

   “Well, it was her first birthday we did a party. I wanted to do one this year too but you’re—present and no one knows. I haven’t told my parents.”

   “You’re not alone there. I told Scott my brother told him not to say anything, he did, and now I just told my sisters. My parents still don’t know.” You were looking down. “You okay?”

   “Do they hate me?” You looked scared, and he had an overwhelming desire to protect you. Again, he shifted in the bed.

   “I won’t let them hate you.” You looked to him with a shocked expression on your face.

   “Don’t you hate me?” He began to wonder if that’s what you’d thought this whole time. He sat up and leaned closer to the camera and licked his lips. Your eyes fell to them.

   “Vixen, I don’t hate you. If I’m being fully honest I tried to hate you. I tried really hard, but I couldn’t.” Several more moments passed with neither of you speaking; you just stared at him. He wondered what you were thinking.

  “Why not?” You were really asking the tough questions, questions he still had yet to ask himself because he was afraid of the answer.

   “Guess you’re just that likable.” He took the punk way out; he could live with it for now. You looked down, and it was then he heard Ella’s screams. You smiled then bent down, and Ella’s face came into frame. His smile spread.

   “Cwis!” she waved excitedly into the camera, and he did the same.

  “How are you?” She nodded then laid her head on your chest, which brought his eyes to your exposed cleavage. He was glad the camera stopped just below his chest.

   “Why don’t you tell Chris what you did today, Ella.” She smiled sheepishly then began talking, and he just sat there listening to her broken words as they mixed with some proper ones to form a very detailed description of her day. He could listen to her talk all day, and he was getting better at understanding her words.

   By the time she finished talking, she ran off, and he was left with your smiling face. He released something close to a content sigh. “You okay?” he nodded.

  “I’m telling my parents tomorrow.” You make a yikes face then lay back onto your pillows. Your bed looked like it smelled of candy and flowers.

   “It’s okay if you let them hate me. I understand.” You sounded defeated. He knew they wouldn’t hate you. They’d be angry and concerned for him. They’d also worry you may be like the women they’d warned him about in his early Hollywood days.

   “They won’t hate you. They’ll be cautious,” he clarified. You snorted and shook your head.

   “That's just a nice way of saying polite hate.” He smiled and sunk in his bed. Dodger dropped a paw across his face.

   “Oh my god, is that a dog?” He shifted the camera to show Dodger, and your eyes bugged out.

  “Oh my god, you have a dog. Duh. Wow.”

   “What do you mean duh?”

  “Through the years I’d seen magazine pictures of you and your dog, and heard you mention him in interviews. I just forgot.”

   “Are you saying you’ve been keeping tabs on me these last few years?” Your eyes bugged out again, and you looked like you wanted to die. He pinched his lips thoroughly enjoying the fact you were embarrassed.

   “Uh—I didn’t—I didn’t say that.”

   “Yeah, you did. you followed my interviews and tabloid sightings?” You were squirming, and he loved it not only because you’d let something slip but because you looked so tortured.

   “Wow, that is not what I meant. In passing you’d be on magazine covers and friends would read the articles and talk about it,” you stuttered out. You then groaned. “Shit, not what I meant. Damn, fine yes I’d see things about you from time to time. How could I not you’re everywhere.” He laughed, and you soon joined in. “I wasn’t stalking you.”

   “Oh, I know. You would never, right.” You shook your head and rolled your eyes. Again, he put dodger into the frame. “This is Dodger. Can you say hello Dodger? This is Vixen.” Dodger licked the camera, and you smiled.

   “Hi, Dodger. You’re such a cute little thing. Yes, you are.” Dodger barked then yelped into the camera which prompted the cutest little smile he’d ever seen. It was then Ella came running back in. “Doggie!” she proceeded to marvel over Dodger who was equally interested in this tiny human. Ella grabbed your phone and from then on it was her and Dodger, neither you or he could get any screen time.

   After almost an hour, Ella was finally asleep on your chest, and Dodger whimpered clearly missing his new fixation. He was okay being replaced as long as it was by Ella. Your face came back into frame, and it was then he felt like he’d gotten hit upside his head with a brick. This was what he wanted. He wanted to hear Ella talk all day and all night until she passed out mid-sentence. He wanted to watch her, and Dodger interact and love each other, he wanted to watch her cuddled to you at night, he wanted to be domesticated. His chest felt heavy and tight all at once. He grimaced as the tightness intensified. He’d never felt like this before, and if he didn’t know his body he would think he was having a heart attack, but he knew that wasn’t it.

   He wanted Ella, and he wanted you. He wanted lazy mornings, and he wanted fun-filled afternoons no matter if they included the meltdowns of an almost two-year-old. He wanted calm nights filled with The Little Mermaid and every Disney movie ever created; he wanted playgrounds, potties, tea parties, dress up, unicorn themed dance parties and everything else that came with that little girl. He wanted to be by your side when you accomplished every goal you could dream up. He wanted to see every smile, wipe every tear, and give you that beautiful life Zack wanted to. He wanted his family.

   “Hello, Chris!” your voice pulled him out of his haze. He didn’t know how long you’d been calling him.

   “Yeah, sorry.” You smiled as you held Ella to your chest.

   “It’s okay. I’m going to put her down. Do you wanna go or stay?” It was a loaded question for him; it didn’t mean ending the call or not; it meant so much more. He swallowed and heard the gulp. It was so loud that Dodger shifted and looked at him with concerned eyes.

   “Stay. I wanna stay.” You didn’t respond or get up right away; instead you studied him. It was as if you’d heard the double meaning in his words. You shook your head and gave a small smile, a smile that spoke of timidness. You didn’t expect him to say it.

   “Okay, I’ll uh—um—I’ll be right back then.”

   You placed the camera down, and he got a view of the sheets and your exposed thigh before you stood and slowly walked toward your door, the hem of the nightgown danced just under your backside and the reminder of his desire nudged against his sweatpants. He closed his eyes and tried to take some calming breaths. He’d only ever gotten this reaction from you—no one else. He’d taken notice the first person he’d been with after you, of course he pushed it to the side and out his mind and worked to keep it buried but there it was.

   His mind went back to their night together at his house. It went over every detail again until he opened his eyes. Leaning over to the nightstand, he took up his wallet and took out the folded paper he held there. He took a deep breath and opened it and reread your words.

   When you get the paperwork, send it here and consider it done. Have a nice life. 5578 Carsington Way P.O Box 2687, San Francisco, California.

   “Have a nice life” was all his eyes saw. The way he read that sentence three years ago was nonchalant; he didn’t take too much time to think about how you’d meant them. Now he kept thinking about how’d acted the last few weeks; your house in Ella’s room, avoiding him, in the rain, the cliff and every encounter since then. Everything pointed to you not being interested just as you must not have been interested then. He studied the note and continued to debate with himself. When he saw you walk back into the room you leaned forward giving him a perfect view of your cleavage but his body did not react. Insecurities he’d held at bay for years rushed him.

   “Sorry that took so long she left a bit of a mess in there, had to clean it up. She laid on her side with her hand holding her head up. The new angle of the camera gave him the perfect view from your head to your thighs. You looked like a dream. His dream.

   “But am I hers?”

   “Is everything all right?”  

   He shook his head, “Yeah, sorry, I’m—lost in my head tonight.” He rubbed his face trying to snap out of it.

   “It’s okay. You’re entitled. Um, I’ve been thinking a lot the last few days,” you began. His breath hitched, and his pulse sped.

  “About what?” You chewed your bottom lip and toyed with your fingers.

   “Um—well—the last few months have been great. You’ve gotten to know Ella better, and she’s gotten to know you. She likes you, not a little either, like a lot. You’re really good with her, and I can tell you care about her.”

   “I love her.” You froze, and he saw the glisten of tears in your eyes before you lowered your head. After a few moments you cleared your throat.

   “I know we haven’t gotten everything ironed out with how we’ll co-parent, but you said you wanted to be involved--.”

   “I do, more than anything,” he added. You nodded.

   “So--you’re going to be around.”

   “Yeah, definitely, as much as you let me. I’d love to be around more for her too.”

   You didn’t speak again, you looked down, and his insecurities said you didn’t like that. For all he knew you probably didn’t want him anywhere. Looking at you he felt more insecure than he’d ever been. It was a feeling he didn’t like.

   “It’s late,” he began. A look of shock washed over you before you covered it with an aloof expression. Irritation filled him.

   “Yeah, night,” you responded and quickly ended the call. He sat there lost in his thoughts and unsure what he’d said.

~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~

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[babygirlofwakanda]

A Time To Give Thanks | Chapter 1

CHARACTERS — Giselle X Chris Hemsworth

CONTENT — Pre-Thanksgiving Shenanigans, Family Ties, Soul Food, Tradition and Southern Hospitality

PLOT — The Hollywood couple and their children fly out to Giselle’s hometown for Thanksgiving this year.

NARRATIVE — The unstable rhythm of the sprinter van speeding over the pavement of the highway greeted Giselle on her journey back to her hometown; Austin.

With splotches of autumn’s color palette speeding past her window, Giselle struggled to capture the essence of the South knowing that she couldn’t come down here as much as she would like.

While the actress fought to inhale the raw scent of Texas in the compacted van, Giselle abruptly felt a rough texture brush against her acrylics before it’s rugged surface touched her smooth palm. Already knowing who’s hand it was the brown beauty let a smirk slowly settle into her face before flicking her chocolate orbs over to stare at the baby blue ones.

Watching the Aussie lift her palm up and ghost his damp lips over the pigmented surface, Giselle gazed up at Chris before she felt his lips press into her skin.

“—I love you.” She saw her husband mouth, before lowering his eyes and breaking their hands to adjust the position of their baby boy sleeping in Chris’s lap.

Slowly gushing at the precious scene, the actress brought her gaze back to the window and pressed her forehead to the glass before dozing off to the sight of the rural scenery and slow rocking.

With an hour and a half passing Giselle’s nap was interrupted by a few soft shakes from Chris, “Wake up baby, we’re here!” She heard the Aussie say, with excitement inflected in his voice. Annoyed at his lack of jet-lag Giselle envied his amount of energy while she sat up and stretched her body as she yawned.

Immediately recognizing the familiarity of her parent’s property she stepped down from the van and helped Chris retrieve their bags while their kids ran off to the front door and pressed on the doorbell; which was guaranteed to gain her parent’s attention.

—and within a couple of seconds, Giselle caught the visual of her mama and papa opening the door with wide arms and matching smiles in her peripheral.

“Wassup boy!” She heard her father greet Julian while scooping him into his arms. Grinning at their interaction, the actress turned around and grabbed her purse to tip the Lyft driver before she heard her parents walk down from the house. Smiling at both of her parents, the couple were welcomed inside of the warm embrace by Mama Janice and Papa Alex.

“—ah, welcome back honey.” Mama Janice whispered, into her oldest daughter’s ear while swaying her slowly before trading places with her husband; moving her to Chris. Closing her eyes at her father’s poignant scent of sandalwood, Giselle held onto her dad as they caught up and trailed to the house with the rest of the family following.

After parting from the family for a moment, the couple ascended up the stairs to drop their bags off into Giselle’s room while the kids stayed downstairs and played a notorious game of ‘what’s this and that’ with their grandparents. Flopping on the bed Giselle smothered her face with a pillow before letting out a long groan sending the Aussie into a fit of giggles.

“We’re not doing this, babe. Wake up!” The Aussie chuckled, before whipping his hand in the air to slap his wife’s ass while he walked by; putting his clothes into the dresser. “Nooo! Just come lay with me for a quick second.” Giselle whined, as she twisted to her side and stuck her hand out in a ‘grabby’ motion.

Throwing his head back in laughter Chris strolled over to the edge of the bed; flashing his renowned grin, “Just a sec.” before accepting his wife’s hand and plopping beside her. Grinning as she danced in her spot Giselle waited for Chris to get comfortable before getting closer to throw her leg over his torso.

Snuggling her head underneath his neck attempting to enthrall in her husband’s warmth Giselle kissed his skin, but within seconds she became more persistent and ignited a fire deep within her core. Catching his restricted moans trapped beneath his throat made Giselle upset as she frustratedly grunted before climbing ontop of her stern husband.

“Oh, c’mon Chris. You’re killin’ me.” The brown beauty whined, as Chris quit puckering his thin lips.

Slamming his hands ontop of her ass before gripping it, Chris abruptly flipped them and pinned her hands above her head. “Hey! We’re not playing this game.”

Quickly dimensioning his wife’s antics Chris continued, “Our family is downstairs and you’re trying to work me up— but that isn’t happening.”

“However, if you behave the rest of the day, I’ll see about it.” The Aussie recounted, once he saw a pout tugging on Giselle’s lips. “You better keep your word Christopher.” The actress sighed, making the actor briefly side eye her before releasing his grip to get back up and finish putting away his clothes.

Still trying to suppress her emotions Giselle started to close her eyes only for her mother to start yelling, “—GiGi and Chris!” instantly making the actress slam a pillow back over her face and roll over. Chuckling at her actions once more Chris tried to speak through his laugh but was quickly cut off by a loud engine.

Rumbling through the house from it’s extreme horsepower, Chris peeked through the blinds and spotted the 2019 white Jaguar outside. Smirking at the vehicle the actor looked at his wife dramatically laying face down before he spoke up. “—and look at you trying to start something when your brother just pulled up— come down and say hello GiGi.” Chris teased, using her childhood nickname before he dodged a flying pillow as he exited the room.

Dragging herself out of bed Giselle planted her feet on the plush carpet and walked towards her suitcase before opening it and digging for some fresh panties.

After replacing her underwear and splashing some cold water on her face she slumped downstairs and followed the obnoxiously loud voices. Rounding the corner into the kitchen Giselle immediately noticed the crisp fade and dimples imprinted into her baby brother’s skin as he laughed at their mom’s words.

“Quinton!” She yelled, before picking up her pace to embrace the six-foot man. “Aye! Wassup G.” Giselle heard her brother say before tossing his arm around her shoulders and leaning down to kiss her temple.

“What’s y’all in here talking bout’ huh?” The actress asked, pulling away as Quinton smacked his lips and shook his head. “Mama in here tryna talk to me bout’ grandkids as if you and Chris aren’t creating the bulk of them.” He shrugged, making his older sister pinch his ear while laughing before he smacked her hand.

“Besides, I’m out here tryna to enjoy everything swinging my way. What other way could I have it?”

Scoffing while she rolled her chocolate orbs, Giselle began to rebuttal, but was cut off by her dad entering the kitchen with Chris strolling right behind him.

“—boy, what did I tell your monkey ass bout’ speaking that way?” Papa Alex warned, before slapping Quinton upside his head. “Shoot, don’t worry Janice by the way this boy is talking you’ll be getting more grandkids.” Papa Alex assured, with a firm headnod before rubbing on his wife’s shoulders.

With a collective laugh echoing through the kitchen, the ringing of the doorbell calmed the family before they all walked towards the door with Giselle leading the way. After clicking the locks and stepping back the actress squealed as she saw her baby brother and sister-in-law, baby sister and niece; smiling.

Ushering them in Giselle exclaimed, “Ah! I’ve missed y’all!” while rocking her brother, Niel side to side before embracing her sister-in-law, Elianna.

“—and look at this belly!” The actress gasped, while she rubbed on Elianna’s nine month belly. “You look like you’re bout’ to pop any second. Oo, you need to get in the house and rest those feet!” She directed, with a wave as they walked into the living room.

After getting her sister-in-law settled, Giselle pivoted around to face her baby sister, Iris who was keeping an eye on her daughter, Mia who was trailing drops of drool on the carpet while she struggled to crawl towards her cousins playing with their toys.

“Aw, look at you baby sis! You’re growing up on us.” She cooed, as they both moved forward to embrace.

“Oh, I can’t lie. I’ve missed you, G.” The brown beauty heard her sister mumble before pulling back. Putting a gentle hand on her shoulder, Giselle flashed her a warm smile before moving to pick up her niece.

“—and look at this cutie getting bigger and bigger everytime I see her.” Giselle gushed, as she tickled her niece immediately making her laugh. Caught up playing with her niece while she chatted with her sister, it wasn’t long before Iris got pulled away.

However, while she stood to the side playing with Mia, Giselle felt her husband’s presence before she felt his hand clutch onto her waist before he joined her in entertaining their niece. While they tried their best to keep a gummy smile on Mia’s face, it wasn’t long before a blinding flash captured their attention.

“Alright, alright! Y’all get together real quick and act like you love eachother,” Mama Janice instructed, as she rounded a couch and swatted her hand around.

While Papa Alex crouched down into a stance with his iPhone between both of his hands, Mama Janice stood next to him and wrapped her arms around her husband’s waist. Watching everyone move in unison she beamed brightly as her children lined up from oldest to youngest; Giselle, Niel, Quinton and Iris.

As tears lined her eyes, Mama Janice sniffled and pulled away from her husband before echoing a clap through the living room; breaking up the sentimental moment and gaining everyone’s attention before she spoke, “Alright now, it time for us to get to cooking!”

——————————

The sound of the green beans bubbling from the deep pot over the stove followed by the provoking smell of the glazed ham escaping the oven filled the house. With the women preparing the food, the men cracked opened a couple of beers and bonded over a game of pool while Elliana relaxed in the living room and chaperoned the children who stared wide-eyed at the tv showing the Live-Action Lion King.

Located in the nucleus of it all, stood Giselle over a cutting board as faint sounds echoed around her.

Flexing the knife in her hand, the actress sliced the skin from the sweet potato and placed the vegetable into a bowl before repeating the action. While Giselle worked on the sweet potato pies, Mama Janice tried to focus on crafting the Brown’s special family mac & cheese but was constantly stopped by Iris’s whining.

“—c’mon mama! Just lemme help out Giselle with the pies or start on the dressing.” Iris complained, instantly making Giselle and Janice both exclaim, “No!” causing Iris drop a fork back into the sink.

Hearing her youngest sister smack her lips and frown, Giselle joined her mother in laughter. “Girl, now you know you can’t cook— shit you can’t even make koolaid for God’s sake!” The actress struggled to say, before she let her laugh interrupt her speech.

“Aye! Stop all that cussin’ in my house.” Mama Janice scolded, with a grin across her face as she walked over and pinched Giselle’s side. “Now, your sister does have a point Iris. Do you remember last year when I let you cook the dressing? Sweetheart..”

“—it had no flavor! Had the dressing tasting like Chris made it.” Giselle cackled, making her hunch over and hold her belly. “Which is why I thought dishes and stirring the pot sufficed this year.”

“Aw, honey. Cooking just isn’t in your favor and that’s okay, but I tell you what— you can always bring the styrofoam plates and drinks like your brothers.”

Caressing Iris’s face while she talked, Mama Janice flashed Iris a comforting look before returning to her dish. Leaving Giselle giggling to herself, she saw Iris mugging her before slowly pivoting back to the sink.

As time elapsed and the majority of the main dishes were either marinating or sizzling in the oven; the three women took the time to chat and unwind.

“—she’s starting say little words here and there and it’s just the cutest thing— here lemme show y’all.” Iris cooed, as she pulled out her phone and gushed over short clips of baby Mia.

After watching a couple of videos of Mia babbling, Giselle slowly dropped her smile and exhaled as she sat back and raised the large glass of wine to her lips.

“Now, what’s the matter with you? Y’know I thought you would be waddling around here just like Elianna.”

Turning her attention towards her mother Giselle lightly shrugged before speaking up, “I don’t know, I’ve been in such a weird space lately— I mean y’all know how I am about wanting to space my kids out, but I guess not being pregnant is effecting me.”

Interrupting her speech with a sip of Chardonnay, Giselle twisted her mouth around before dropping her eyes to the quartz countertop. “I thought I was ready to continue my life and career without having another baby, but I guess not y’know? This is the one time where I have everything lined up— the children are happy and thriving, my film schedule is booked and very much busy until 2022, and Chris is home and understanding of my decision, but I just feel stagnant; almost like I’m missing something.”

“I just ugh— I don’t know if this is really what I want. I thought I wanted to be in control of my life but God sure knows how to laugh at my plans.” The actress weakly joked, before finishing off her white wine.

“Well— um, maybe Mia and I can come visit you soon, I’m sure she’ll cure your baby fever right up.” Giselle heard her baby sister suggest, bringing the lighthearted air back into the conversation making Giselle bring her eyes up and send her a smirk while nodding her head. Watching her daughters discuss plans for Iris’s next trip to Giselle’s, Mama Janice kept her squinted eyes on her oldest daughter.

Taking notice of the fullness of her chin, slight swelling of her nose, but overall newfound radiant complexion made Mama Janice abruptly quirk her eyebrow before laughing to herself at her daughter’s oblivion. Entertaining her kids conversation for a hot minute, she waited until the clock reached ten before she interrupted her daughters. “—well ladies it’s time for mama to go on and get her rest for the morning, make sure y’all turn off the stove and oven before y’all go to bed tonight.” Mama Janice instructed.

Nodding their heads they both said their ‘goodbyes’, “Don’t stay up to late y’all,” Mama Janice advised as rounded the table and kissed their foreheads, “—and I’ll take this.” She said, snatching Giselle’s glass and bottle of wine before waltzing out of the kitchen.

“Mama took my Chardonnay.” Giselle whined, with a pout on her lips leaving Iris giggling and slightly tipsy.

“—well, cheers.” Iris announced, with her glass raised high into the air before chugging the rest of her wine.

——————————

While Giselle and Iris continued to catch up as they supervised the green beans, time elapsed to eleven o’clock which sent Papa Alex to join his wife upstairs; immediately causing the men to disperse throughout the house. With Neil, Quinton and Chris barging into the kitchen it wasn’t long before the Aussie started yawning and headed upstairs after relieving a tired Elliana; leaving the kids following behind him and Neil and Quinton at the table with their sisters.

“—we’ll your the one who almost gave daddy a heart attack when you brought Chris home, remember?”

Smacking Iris’s arm the brown beauty scoffed, “GiGi had mama hoopin’ and dad hollerin’.” She heard Niel added, making Quinton topple over in laughter.

“—and now they can’t get enough of eachother,” Giselle included, “plus my babies helped ease their relationship. Now, dad talks to Chris more than me!”

“Oo, don’t even talk about babies around me!” Niel rasped, before throwing back his shot of tequila and slamming down the glass. “Elliana has had me on my toes for the last three weeks and I can’t take this shit anymore; can she hurry and have the baby already?!”

Twisting their lips around, Giselle and Iris flashed their brother a look a sympathy while Quinton licked his fingers and smacked on the leftover buffalo wings from dinner. Cutting her eyes at Quinton, Giselle tried to help ease Niel’s mind. “Trust me I know all too well what Elianna is going through, but all you gotta do is continue to support her. There’s are drastic changes happening to her body and mind as the due date approaches, you just gotta keep being patient.”

“—Elianna needs your support as much as possible right now and despite her protests just knowing that your around will do more than any of your words will; you’re going to be fine.” Giselle reassured, while she leaned over and pulled her brother into a side hug.

“Now, did you ask daddy or Chris for advice?”, “Yea, and you already know dad said what he could from twenty-something years ago— from Iris’s age.” He snapped out, as he remembered his little sister’s name quickly making her drop her grin and mug.

“—but Chris actually told me something similar from what’chu said.” He admitted, as he bumped into her making Giselle beam before dropping her eyes.

“Aw, y’all look at GiGi tryna blush. Now y’know we too black for allat!” Quinton taunted, “Look, don’t start with me, Q. You needa find somebody to make your dumbass smile.” Giselle rebutted. “Right! What happened to what’s-her-face from last year? Ion’ see her running behind you no more.” Iris asked, with a smile pulling her lips as she poorly hid her urge to laugh. “Man, ain’t nobody studyin’ Mya ol’ ass.”

Switching the conversation from Quinton’s love life to his bubbling career in Hollywood, he excitedly told his family the amount scripts emailed to his manager as the series finale of How To Get Away With Murder approached. With congratulations following his news the celebration continued as Iris admitted to starting the process to her second hair salon and boutique in Houston after the relaunching of her online website.

While congratulatory shots and food were shared amongst the siblings, sleep began to call Giselle’s name after she turned off the stove and oven.

After departing from her brothers and sisters with a ‘goodbye’ Giselle went upstairs and turned to go into her bedroom before pivoting around as the faint, but familiar New Orleans styled theme music resounded from the children’s room. Approaching the bedroom Giselle paused at the adorable sight of her husband slumped in a chair cradling Mia as they both slept.

Noticing her three little ones knocked out in the bunk beds as she walked deeper into the bedroom, Giselle grabbed the remote and turned off The Princess and the Frog before she went to grab Mia only for Chris to wake up and clutch tightly onto her small frame.

Laughing at his reflexes, “—hey, relax Chris. I’m taking baby Mia back to her mama. Now go to the bedroom and get in the bed; you’re tired babe.” She advised, while sliding her niece out of his arms and into her own before she returned Mia back to Iris.

Stopping back at the kid’s room Giselle climbed up the bunk beds to adjust their wild positions and give them their goodnight kiss before she returned to her bedroom. Instantly hearing the rush of water coming from the bathroom caused an immediate grin to play on the lips of the brown beauty as she stripped out of her clothing and sauntered to the shower. Seeing the silhouette of her husband’s body behind the frosted glass, Giselle licked her lips and cursed, “Damn.” before she pulled on the handle to step inside.

With an abrupt thrust of cool air filling the shower, Giselle’s arrival quickly caught the attention of her husband. Watching Chris turn around, the actress held a flustered expression as she timidly dragged her gaze from her husband’s dangling manhood.

“—y’know something told me that you’d be joining me.” The Aussie smirked, while strolling away from the shower head and towards his wife; backing her into the wall. With his eyelids lowered from lust and organ spasming upward in need, Chris rushed up on Giselle and cradled the side of her face before his lips met hers. Refusing to gain access to her tongue, the actor started to lower his wet kisses. While he licked his way across her clavicle, Chris began to hear his wife’s moans increase before she rasped, “Fuck!”

Leaning down until he was eyelevel to her breasts, Chris caressed her solid tits and sucked on her dark brown nipples before he dropped down to his knees.

Kissing past her belly button, the Aussie nipped his way down until he reached the bottom of her pelvis.

Clutching onto her hip with his left hand, Chris rested his other around her left ankle before he slowly draped it over his shoulder. Witnessing the intimate spread of her sticky folds caused the actor to lick his lips and flick his eyes up to meet his wife’s lowered ones before he gave her a smile and dived in.

Instantly sending her head back with a soft thump, the Aussie continued to bring his wife to the brim of the sweetest joy until the wee hours of the morning.

AUTHOR’S NOTE — Giselle and Chris are back, again! I just wanted to show Giselle’s family dynamic and do a little somethin’ somethin’ for Thanksgiving 😌 anyways, part two is coming in a couple of days!

TAGLIST — @wakandas-vibranium @oceanscorazon @melaninmarvel @wakandamama @storibambino @wakanda-inspired @blowmymbackout @theblulife @kreolemami @amethyst-dreams-and-candy-canes @lewatigress @lildashofmelanin @blowmymbackout @ororowrites @brittyevans @kumkaniudaku @s0eul @chaneajoyyy @504queen @theunsweetenedtruth @ashanti-notthesinger @blackreaders-assemble

[zayashmaya]

Gamzee x Reader; SFW

You win a prize for Gamzee at a carnival. 

@compositecreature i dedicate this to u and our brainstorming sessions 

The starry night sky was all aglow with an endless sea of neon-lit stalls and a giant ferris wheel dominating the coastline. The boardwalk you currently strolled through with Gamzee was packed with people, creating a never-ending path of obstacles to maneuver around as you gripped his hand so you would not lose each other. You had just gotten off a particularly terrifying roller coaster, and you decided a nice, relaxing walk was needed to calm your nerves.

Except hanging out with Gamzee was always a crazy ride in of itself. You could never predict his strange moods or what excited him. The carnival trip was intended to lift his spirits and make him feel more at ease, yet at certain moments when he thought you were not paying attention, you could see his ever-present smile fall as he stared at the scenery before him.

This was a response you somewhat anticipated, and you certainly knew he would hide this side of him from you. Gamzee never liked to reminisce on the past, after all, always bottling up the unpleasant and throwing them out into the sea of his endless thoughts. You were working on that with him. Once in a while, he would humor you, reaching out for a bottle and popping it open for a quick gander. He didn’t always like what was inside.

You squeezed his hand to get his attention, and as quick as lightening that dopey smile returned when he looked down at you. “WhAt’S cOoKiNg AlL uP iN tHe AgEnDa FoR uS, mY gOoD sIs?”

“That depends on you,” you said. “I’ve been doing a lot of the leading so far. What do you wanna do?”

“I dIdN’t GeT mY tHiNk On MuCh FoR sOmE sUcH oPtIoNs, WhAt WiTh ThIs AlL bEiNg A hUmAn ThInG. aIn’T nOtHiN hErE mAkIn MuCh SeNsE. lIkE tHaT wEiRd MoThErFuCkEr — “ He pointed to what initially seemed like a silver statue, until the performer moved ever so slowly to change his pose while onlookers took photos. “WhAt ThE mOtHeRfUcK iS tHaT nOiSe? aIn’T nEvEr SeEn SuCh ShIt In My LiFe. ThAt BrOtHeR’s GoT hIs PaInT aLl Up AnD oN lIKe Me AnD pEoPlE aRe MakInG sTrAiGhT fOoLeRy OvEr HiM wItH aLl ThE pIcTuReTaKiNg."

You spent a good minute laughing at his genuine confusion as Gamzee glared at his source of discontentment. “I guess they didn’t have buskers on your planet?”

“NoT aNy ThAt gOt ThE mOtHeRfUcKiN gUmPtIoN tO bE mOcKiNg A mEsSiAhS-fEaRiN cLoWn.”

“This is just performance art, Gamzee. I promise he has no idea what the Messiahs even are.” You tugged on his hand to lead him away, offering him a bite of your cotton candy to appease him. He promptly devoured the sugary dessert, licking away the stickiness from his teeth. You eyes lingered on the motion for a little too long, and you quickly busied yourself with finding a new attraction.

The passivity of sitting in rides had lost its charm. It was time for something a little more active.

Your eyes settled on an old arch nemesis from your childhood — the water gun race. The stall’s cheery glowing lights and hoard of prizes mocked you, beckoning you onward as you set course for the game with renewed vigor. Gamzee obediently trailed after you, refusing to release his hold on your hand even as you sped in front of him. “WhAt’S gOt A fIrE lIt AlL uP aNd UnDeR yOu, SuGaR bUtT?”

You froze, a laugh rising out of you so fast you nearly choked on it. ”What did you call me?”

He smirked cheekily. “gOnNa KeEp EaTiNg aLl ThE wIcKeD pInK cLoUdS, gOnNa GeT hIt At WiTh sOmE sIcKnAsTy NiCkNaMeS.”

“Is that your way of telling me you want more?”

“hAhA yEaH bAbY pAsS tHaT gOoD sHiT rIgHt On OvEr HeRe.”

Gamzee effortlessly plucked the cotton candy cone from you after a very quick and one-sided skirmish, swinging his arm across your shoulders and patting your head condescendingly as he happily reaped the spoils of war. You poked his ribs in retaliation. “We’re gonna change things up a bit,” you explained, pointing to the stall. “Fancy a game with me?”

“Oh DaMn, YoU wAnNa GeT yOuR cHaLlEnGe On WiTh ThIs MoThErFuCkEr?” He leered down at you. “BeTtEr SqUaRe Up ReAl GoOd My FuNkY MoNkEy PoO, cAuSe YoU’rE gOnNa LoSe.”

“You’re really going all out with the nicknames tonight,” you snickered.

“OnE oF uS hAs GoTtA aLl uP aNd Do It, SiNcE yOu’Re A dRy AsS mOfO :o) "

“Oooh? Don’t be so sure of that, buggy boo.”

Gamzee's cocky grin faltered, and the tips of his ears flushed purple. He removed his arm from your shoulders, and you momentarily felt the loss before he took your hand once more and led you to the game stall.

Three children were preoccupied with aiming into the mouths of the clown targets, their freakishly gaping maws twisted up into mocking smiles. Gamzee took one look at the array of heads lined up against the wall and glanced at you with an incredulous expression. “yO tHeY gOt MoRe Of ThOsE pAiNtEd Up MoThErFuCkErS?”

“Yeah!” You sat on one of the stools, and Gamzee followed suit. “You have to shoot water into their mouths to fill up the balloons on their heads and make them explode. First person who does it gets a prize."

“hAhAhAhA wHaT tHe FuCk … “

While the booth operator collected money from you for the next round, Gamzee aimed his water gun with dramatic concentration, his tongue sticking out as he waited for the game to begin. You giggled quietly to yourself and positioned your gun, droning out the sound of the operator explaining how to play. This was your moment. You were finally going to win this stupid game, and claim a prize.

As soon as the bell rang, your water stream miraculously hit its target. You were too focused on keeping your position locked in place to listen to Gamzee curse and fumble with his gun, and you were trying your damnedest not to laugh as his water stream somehow wobbled like a snake in midair and completely missed its mark.

“ThIs ShIt iS sTrAiGhT uP oFfEnSiVeLy RiGgEd!”

“Don’t curse, there’s kids around,” you quipped back, and with the triumphant pop of your chosen clown’s balloon, you threw your arms up into the air and shouted, “Hell yes, motherfucker!”

The operator threw you an unamused look while you excitedly scanned the selection of stuffed toys.

And then you saw it. The perfect gift.

A lavender colored monkey with ridiculously long arms, and velcro stuck on the palms of its hands.

Gamzee chuckled at your choice as you hugged it tightly to your chest, trailing on after you as you continued to explore the carnival. “I’ve never won that game before,” you wistfully said, running your fingers through the incredibly soft fur of the plushie.

“DaNg, HoW’s A bRoThEr SuPpOsEd tO gEt HiS wIn On WhEn FaCeD wItH sOmE sUcH dEtErMiNaTiOn?”

“You never stood a chance,” you teased, and he pinched your cheek in retaliation. “It wasn’t so much about winning for my sake as it was about winning a prize for you.”

“FoR mE, bAbE?”

“Yep!” You stepped in front of him and wrapped the monkey’s arms around his neck, clasping its hands together to make them hold. Gamzee wordlessly held the plushie to his chest, staring down at it with an inscrutable expression. “It’s for your nightmares. Since I’m not always around, I figured maybe this could help you. You know. Like you could hold onto the motherfucker and all that jazz.”

He blinked at you, stupefied and unsure of how to react. You smiled warmly and made to move away, but he grasped your upper arm before you could turn. The monkey’s silly grin accosted your eyes as Gamzee leaned down to press a kiss to your forehead. “tHaNkS,” he shyly murmured, and when your eyes met, you suddenly realized how close he was to your face. To your lips.

It could have been either one of you who made the first move. One way or another, you found yourself on your tiptoes and a hand curled into Gamzee’s shirt, his arm looped around your waist and the stuffed animal between you keeping you both from melting into each other.

Whatever you had expected your first kiss with Gamzee to be like was nothing like this. His lips were cool and smooth, moving gently against yours without a hint of teeth. Your tongue darted out to lick his bottom lip before the shriek of a child jolted you back into awareness — shit we’re still in public — and you reluctantly pulled away, your heart hammering in your chest and your cheeks flushed. Gamzee searched your face as he reached out to caress your cheek, the predatory look in his eyes a stark contrast to his boyish smile.

“Your mouth still tastes like cotton candy,” you blurted out.

“tHaT’s CuZ yOu’Re AlL tHiNkIn LiKe WiTh YoUr StOmAcH aNd NoT yOuR bRaIn. BuT yOu BeTtEr StArT tHiNkIn WiTh YoUr HeArT iF yOu WaNt MoRe Of ThAt TaStE.”

You hid your face in his chest while he chuckled. “You’re so corny,” you said, your words muffled by his shirt.

“yEaH i Am, GoT mE aLl StIfF lIkE a MoThAfUcKiN cOrN-oN-ThE-SlObBeRiN-cOb BeInG aLl CuTe AnD pReSsEd Up AgAiNsT mE aLl SuCh.”

“I knew you couldn’t resist being crass for a moment longer.”

“HaHaHa YoU kNoW iT, mY sWeEt SpAcE mOnKeY.”

“Stop teasing me, you … silly … stevia … “

“wEaK sAuCe.”

You planted a kiss on his grinning mouth to shut him up.

[wheremytwinwatches]

[Where My Twin Watches]: Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood Episode 44

Last time: Doctor Marcoh broke the Hippocratic Oath, Envy chose the worst possible host, and a Central Officer showed Armstrong the Great his collection of action figures. Onwards!

Episode 44 - “Revving at Full Throttle” Oh heck yeah, we’re starting at the family reunion in Liore! Camera shows the radio fixed by the Elric Brothers way back when. [Beard]: “It’s been a long time, huh Al?” [Al]: “Yeah.” *awkwardness intensifies* [Beard]: “So, uh… I saw Pinako recently.” *Rose is standing off to the side, probably wondering about this ‘Pinako’ character her new boyfriend is talking about* [Beard]: “She told me about your body.” *awkwardness intensifies* *awkwardness intensifies* *awkwardness intensifies* [Villagers]: “Hey Mister Ho, could you-” [Beard]: “Oh sweet Leto yes get me out of this family drama. Absentee Anime Father, away!” Wow, really? Al are you just gonna let him walk away from this conversation? You haven’t seen him for a large portion, if not most of your life! Demand some friggin answers! Well at least the cook is trying to cheer Al up, thanking him for fixing up the radio. Al apologizes for the riot being caused by them exposing Cornello, but Cookie insists on looking at the good stuff that happened.

Sure people reacted “badly” at first, but now everyone’s all happily working together to rebuild from the ashes of their home! Can’t fault the man’s optimism. Inspired!Al goes running off to help build, seeing their General getting his hands dirty Toad and Boar (still wearing their winter clothes?) tag along, dragging a protesting Yoki with them. The Villagers are realizing Oh Crap We Interrupted Family Reunion, but Beard’s brushing it off. He left when Al was super young, he probably doesn’t even think of Beard as his father anymore. And have you seen the guy try to smalltalk? He doesn’t know what to say- [Al, clanking towards the group]: “Hey pops! Imma help with the building, cool? Cool. Hey NPCs, gimme that heavy stuff to cart around.” Aw, Beard gets to see that Al being trapped in a cold, unfeeling suit of armor hasn’t kept him from being a decent person. Whoa okay bath time for Winry, apologies for interrupting. Winry’s happy to finally get a good bath after traveling for so long. Rose is chatting with her while laying out clothes, admiring Winry for being a independent Automail Engineer at her age. And she was the one who literally got Ed back on his feet, which would mean later he would help Rose get back on hers. *Goes back to Ep 3 Recap*. That’s right, he told her to Keep Moving Forward, that she needed to use her two good legs to make her own path. Rose tells Winry about her misplaced belief in Cornello, when Winry gripes about Ed’s Tough Love routine Rose says that’s just his way of being nice. [Rose]: “But you already know that, don’t you?” [Winry]: *Stammers, blushes, and tries to hide her face in her tea.* So yeah, Ed exposed the truth behind Cornello’s miracles, and now Liore is learning to stand on its own. “All thanks to Ed and Al.”... yeah, calling it now. We’ll come back to this place in a decade or two, and the old Church of Leto will have been replaced with one to The Armor and the Alchemist. Hey, it’s Lizard dude! Bido, according to Bag of Magic Food. He’s going through a tunnel, griping that it was a bad idea to follow those MPs aw crap he’s wandering into Uncle’s sanctum, isn’t he? Turn around dude! But he’s still looking for Mister Greed, squeezes through some pipes to crap it’s the Golem Room. And are the Officer and Armstrong the Great still there? Quick, pull an Igor!

Ok, so it looks like he got there just before the Officer did his “Look at my cool toys” reveal, he’s hiding behind the pipes again. Officer’s explaining that the Golems are empty dummies that they can bond souls to. Oh, so they’re like Advanced Soul Armors, then? Tell me, have you gotten around the problem that Al’s having of the body rejecting the soul? Anyways, the Golems are immortal and apparently any bonded souls will be completely obedient. Alright Armstrong the Great, here’s the kicker; where do the souls to activate the Golems come from? Officer says that they’ll come from rival nations, “through the course of war”. Hoo boy. This was what I was afraid of way back when the concept of Philosopher Stones was introduced to Armstrong the Great. She is fiercely loyal to her troops and those she chooses to protect, it was the threat against her own forces and the reveal that the Goths were going to harvest the entire country that allied her with our main characters. But an army fueled by the conquest of Others? A chance to not just defeat her hated Drachman enemies, but fully convert them to her cause? Weapons that only grow stronger the more she uses them? I mean, with all the pushing around by Central and bullying of her troops I’m giving her 80% odds to still reject the Golems. But that remaining 20… We don’t get to hear any more as Bido freaks the fuck out and bolts back down the tunnels, screaming his head off. [Bido]: “This place is evil! Pure evil! Why did I ever come here?! Mister Greed would never be in an awful place like this-” Oh hey, it’s Ling! How’s Greed going to react to seeing an old “possession”: happy to see something of old that he gets to claim again, or annoyed that one of his old crew fled rather than try to help him? We’ll get back to that, we’re back in Liore where Al is warning Beard about the giant tunnel running under Liore. Beard tells him to stop talking about the Super Secret Goth Plot To Harvest A Country in the middle of the town square, waits until they’re in the ruins of the Church to discuss the story. He’s letting Al explain everything, does he want to keep his own involvement secret for- well never mind, Al’s brought up his Identical Brother chilling in Central. Beard turns away still acting all Mysterious wait what [Menacing!Beard]: “Did it ever cross your mind that I might be on their side?” But you’re not, unless… NOW HOLD UP. If you’re telling me that we’re looking at a Triplet situation, that Uncle made another copy to Oh ok I get it now. Beard is just emphasizing how trusting Al is, at least with him. But seriously dude, now that I’m thinking about it spilling your entire plan to a guy because you think he’s your father is a terrible idea. Maybe ask him to repeat a childhood memory, or somesuch? So after Al gets his non-corporeal heart to calm down from that scare, Beard says that he wants to tell his Backstory to both brothers in order to save time. Right, about that… Back up in the land of snow, at… “Bank’s Bank”? Really? That’s like a restaurant owned by Mister Burger or a law office run by Johnny Litigator. Whatever. Registers are ringing and checks are being cashed when huh. Sorry, just distracted by the banker’s appearance, she’s a lady with blonde hair but brown eyes and Ishvalan skin. What’s her story, is she an Amestrian/Ishvalan child like Sideburns? Moving on, a giant of a man is making a withdrawal oh hey it’s Monkey, he’s drawing from Ed’s account. Uh, are you that badly strapped for cash? You know that a withdrawal from the Protagonist’s account, by an unknown party no less, is going to raise all kinds of flags in Central. Yup, Monkey got the cash from Ed’s research account, but another banker’s already making a call. Ah, so it was for the medical bill. How much was this doctor charging? Oh jeez, the guy’s chuckling and saying he could charge them even more, Monkey complains that he’s already ripping them off but the doc’s likewise squinty-eyed wife says it’s only “reasonable” considering the risks involved.

Well, as long as they keep their mouths shut well never mind, looks like the cops are already on to them. I don’t suppose they can get a refund? The cops show up and push past the doctor, Lion’s getting bandaged by Mrs. Doctor. Oh great way to sell out the resting patient, our guys had better get a refund if he’s going to cave this quickly. No wait it’s just Monkey scowling from under some covers wait is he trying to hide Ed under the sheets? The cop asks if Monkey was at the bank earlier, and pulls a gun… Outside a guard hears someone walking, another white coat? Doctor #2? Cop #1 is ordering for Monkey to put his hands up oh hey the white coat outside is Ed with some groceries! Outfit change? I suppose his red coat was pretty distinctive. While Monkey’s at gunpoint Lion readies his own pistol and Monkey starts drawing his own gun, things might get loud pretty soon. Wait, is Ed’s hair loose? What happened to the ponytail?

Ok yeah, that was pretty distinctive like his coat. Outside guard is listing off the red coat, blond hair worn in a braid… uh oh. Here it comes. [Guard]: “... and short.” [Ed]: *bites through wooden skewer in annoyance* Nice knowing you, guard. The cops in the apartment hear a thud, and #1 tells another to check out the noise. Outside Guard is out cold, Cop #2 tries waking him up before there’s another thud, #1’s left yelling at the other two for answers when

Wait hold on, is Ed grabbing this guy around the neck? Is he standing on a box or something? Unless… no. No! Is it finally happening? Is my little boy finally getting a growth spurt?! … Wait, but if he’s growing taller, but has an artificial leg whoops better find Winry quick to upgrade, fighting might be a bit difficult if you’re all lopsided. Monkey snarks that Ed just had to take out three MPs on his own, when he hasn’t fully recovered yet. [Ed]: “Don’t treat me like an invalid. My injuries are fully healed, and I’m revving at full throttle!” Title drop! And damn but Ed’s rocking the new look. White coat, loose hair, and a growth spurt? Leg imbalance aside, I am totally down for this. Wait, is this because he “used his own life force” to patch himself up earlier? His body aged up from the energy expenditure? Cool! Mid-ep pictures of Bath!Winry and Older!Ed. So is carrying a wooden skewer in your mouth just a thing now, Ed? The doc’s telling Ed and the Chimeras to shove off, doesn’t look like that refund’s coming after all. Ed snags the Guard’s note in passing, thinking about how they’re just looking for the red coat and braid (pointedly ignoring the “short” comment), guess the outfit change is staying around for a while. Whoops! Took too long, some other MPs have shown up and are demanding they freeze. Wait, “move it kid”? Oh yeah, they’re just telling the guys with visible weapons to stand down, they think that the kid chowing down on bread is a bystander. Who just got grabbed by Monkey and threatened with a weapon! Monkey uses the MPs shock at the hostage-taking to tuck Ed under his arm and run for it, outside some more MPs spot them but Lion shoots some snow down on them. Run for it! One hotwired car later, Ed tells ‘Gorilla’ (“Don’t call me that!”) to step on it, but their stolen car isn’t fast enough to outrun vehicles from Northern Command. Dodge a truck so the MPs crash into it? That they… can’t do, actually. The MPs are catching up when Ed says to turn a corner and park. Plan? Transmutation sounds as they round the corner, the MPs follow but… it’s gone? Wait there’s another car in the road, but… … Ow. Ow ow ow. OW! Sweet Leto, but that hurts the eyes. Really, Ed? I can only assume that the MPs brains have shut off from the sheer garishness of that thing, they drive past the parked car looking for something a little more sensible. The Chimeras immediately ask for the car to be turned back to normal. [Ed]: “And why’s that? I think this car looks cool as hell!” [Monkey]: “Just change it back. Please, we’re begging you!” [Ed]: “You guys got a problem with my sense of style?!” [Monkey/Lion]: “You don’t have any!” Outside of town, Monkey’s answering the call of nature while they all discuss being drifters again. Ed’s wait buddy you’ve got your hair back in a ponytail, it’s not a full-on braid but it’s still close enough that any guards are going to give you a second look. Go back to the loose hair disguise! Ed’s thinking about how he let his guard down around Kimblee, and hoping that Al’s ok. For now, the Chimeras are asking their new boss where to go, Ed says that they need to find Al who’s probably with Marcoh now. [Lion]: “You do know how to find them, right?” [Ed]: “Right, about that…” In Liore, Al’s trying to wrap his head around Beard’s Backstory. Beard understands if Al doesn’t believe him, it’s a pretty crazy story. Then we remember that Beard’s talking to a soul bound to a suit of armor, so the idea that Beard is a Philosopher’s Stone isn’t that far fetched. They chat about being immortal, and thankfully Beard acknowledges the advantages of his form before settling on the fact that seeing everyone he knows and loves wither and perish sucks. Hey yeah, if you have a Philosopher's Stone body, did that affect Ed and Al’s development? Apparently not, Beard says he still has a human body. Unlike Uncle, who’s likened to “a leather bag”. He built a human body around himself and his gathered souls, so if they can destroy the body… Speaking of, the Nationwide TC! Beard looks over the TC and reverse-TC while Al says they can destroy the tunnel below Liore, but Beard shuts down the idea. Pride’s watching over the tunnel. But can they still try before nope we know the tunnel’s finished, and Beard is rather relaxed about the idea it’s complete. “Because it’s not yet time”? How do you know? [Beard]: “Look up, son. You’re too busy looking down when you need to look up.” Oh! I get it, it’s a constellation thing! That explains why the Xerxes King was talking about carving all the Crests before it was too late, the Nationwide TC needs the right positioning of the stars. Can’t do it until then.

Yes please follow along Al, look up to the sky, to… LETO! Bwahaha, Al thinks that Beard’s talking about Sun-God Leto. There we go, turns out Beard has converted to Letoism and plans on praying the Goths away. Or the Man in Central could indeed be waiting for the right star positions, that works too I guess. Oh hey, back to Bido in the pipes. Running? Oh shoot, looks like it was “Annoyed his possession abandoned him” Greed after all. Greed laughs about the chance to kill his boredom, Bido’s shocked to see the Ultimate Shield and hear the voice, yells at Greed for imitating Mister Greed. Wait, does Greed not recognize Bido? Greed boasts about wanting everything, Bido finishes his spiel about demanding the finer things in life. Greed asks who Bido is wait static? Ok, so Greed really doesn’t remember his past iteration? He lost his memories when Uncle reconsumed him? Bido’s struggling to reconcile the Mister Greed he knew with this new guy, while Greed demands Bido answer his questions. [Bido]: “It’s me! I’m your friend, Bido! You haven’t been gone from Dublith long enough to forget!” [Greed]: “Oh, you’re from Dublith! Ooohoho, now it makes sense!” [Bido]: “You remember m SHIT Greed just stabbed Bido! [Greed]: “Afraid not. You must have been buddies with the previous Greed.” Well this sucks, Bido’s trembling in pain and grief while Greed says they’ve never even met wait the static’s back and his arm is trembling and the static is becoming visions of Greed’s old crew. Is his memory returning? Hoo boy Ling’s calling Greed out for killing his old friend. Greed protests that Bido wasn’t his friend, that those memories belonged to the previous Greed. [Ling]: “Then why are you in so much pain?!” Ling’s threatening that if Greed doesn’t pull himself together that he’ll take control of the body again. Greeds gritting out that his old memories were purged by Uncle, that they aren’t part of him anymore- [Ling]: “No, you’re wrong Greed! It’s not that easy! They’ll always be a part of you! You can’t just erase them from your soul! They were the only part of you that you chose! Look at them! Can you not hear their souls crying out? You abandoned them, your real family! You threw them away like trash! Fool, you turned your back on something you wanted. You don’t deserve to call yourself Greed!” Clutching the still form of Bido, Greed screams. End Credits. Post-credit scene in Central at the Bradley Manor, Mama Bradley is suggesting a book to Selim. About an adventurer who travels the world- Bradley’s looked up and Mama Bradley grabbed Selim at the sound of rustling and footsteps. It’s Greed. And he’s not happy.

[the--blackdahlia]

Armageddon Chapter 18 (Dean x Reader)

Title: Armageddon Chapter 18

Summary:  Space. The Final Frontier. But for Dean Winchester, space was the last place he thought he would ever go. His family life isn’t perfect, his job isn’t ideal, but he has (Y/n), the woman he loves. Sam Winchester never thought his life would turn out the way it did. He is divorced, alone, and his brother most likely hates him. Working for NASA was not going to be easy. But, when a threat to the earth has him calling on his family for help, what can he do? can Sam and Dean push past his family issues to keep the Earth spinning another day? Based on the movie of the same name.

Pairings: Dean x Reader; Sam x Jessica

Warnings For this Chapter: Lots of feels

Song for this Chapter: Something to Believe In by Poison

“You can have all these, except this one.” Jessica said, handing Dean the box of home movies. “This one is personal.”

“Ooooo, Jess and Sam made a sex tape!” (Y/n) teased, making Jessica turn red. John was playing with Ashton for a minute. His back had started to hurt carrying things, and Dean, Jessica, and (Y/n) told him to take a moment and relax. So he was spending time with his grandson.

“You sure you want me to have all these?” Dean asked. Jessica nodded.

“I have a friend who works for WOAI and they have been going through the process of copying tapes to DVD. They told me if I wanted to slip them a few home movies at a time, they could do it for me. So I might just grab a few here and there so I can have copies.” Jessica explained. Dean nodded and set the box of tapes with the stuff he wanted.

“I didn’t realize Sam had so much stuff.” (Y/n) said.

“He was always a bit of a pack rat.” Jessica laughed. “He said things had memories and all that.” (Y/n) nodded and rummaged through a box of old toys. She recognized some of them from childhood and assumed Sam was holding on to them for Ashton. She pulled out a bag of cars and almost burst into tears.

“What?” Dean asked, looking over. She opened the bag and pulled out a white, 1968 Camaro Hot Wheels. “Oh my god!”

“I gave him this and told him to kick your butt.” (Y/n) laughed through the tears. “I can’t believe he still has it.”

“Ashton would just love to see this.” Jessica said, holding up the bag. “He’s very into cars right now. After Sam bought him one for Christmas last year, that’s all he’s been about…” She sighed softly. (Y/n) put the Camaro back in the bag and smiled at Jessica.

“Then these are Ashton’s.” She told her. “And maybe when he’s a little older, him, Dean, John, and his cousin can go see a race or something.” She put a hand on her belly. Jessica nodded, tears in her eyes.

They continued to split up things into what was going home with them, what would be donated, and what just needed to be trashed. After awhile, John came back to join them. Ashton was taking a nap on the couch and John wanted to help. As they worked, something caught his eye. A blue bag with black graduation caps on it.

“Wow.” He said. “He never gave you the gift.” He turned to look at Dean.

“Gift? What gift?” Dean asked. John handed him the bag.

“When I found him, he had a gift for you.” John told him. “I don’t know what it is, but he wanted you to have it.” He shrugged. Dean looked to (Y/n).

“Well, go on. Open it.” She smiled. Dean pulled out a card first and read it. Sam congratulating him on his graduation and how proud he was of his big brother. Dean was smiling big at Sam’s sloppy handwriting and his poor attempt to draw the two of them standing by each other. He slipped the card back into the envelope. He pulled out the tissue surrounding a heavy object with glass around it. He picked it up carefully. It was a desk clock made out of gears with Dean’s name on the bottom. But that’s not what made Dean burst into tears.

Underneath his name, it stated that the gears came from a 1967 Chevy Impala that was being fixed up in 1991.

Dean had fixed up Baby that year and had never been able to find the parts he had replaced. He figured that they had just been thrown away at some point. He didn’t realize that Sam had gotten this made for him. (Y/n) hugged Dean tightly as he cried. She felt her own tears running down her face.

“Hey,” she whispered to him kissing the top of his head. “I’m going to sound really, really sappy right now. But, you remember what my dad said… about people we lose not being gone?” she placed his head in her hands putting her forehead against his.

“Y-yeah….” Dean said, sniffling.

“We can talk to them any time we want,” she sniffled, “the wind is just going to cary our voices wherever they are,” she gave him a gentle kiss.

“Yeah. Maybe.” Dean sighed. “God, I’m going to miss him.” Jessica hugged him then, followed by John. They were all going to miss him so much.

****

“All I’m saying is that when they make a movie about this, Jensen Ackles could play you and Jared Padalecki could play Sam.” Jessica said, taking a bite of her pizza.

“Oh come on! That pretty boy looks nothing like me.” Dean huffed.

“So you’re finally admitting he’s pretty?” (Y/n) teased. Dean glared at her as she laughed.

“You think you’re so funny.” He rolled his eyes. “Look, if anyone if playing me in a movie, it’s Mark Wahlberg. That’s all there is to it.”

“I was thinking Ben Affleck.” John said before taking a sip of his beer.

“Not you too!” Dean said. “You’re supposed to be on my side!” John just smiled and shrugged.

“Are we all ready for tomorrow?” Jessica asked. Everyone silently nodded. (Y/n) rubbed her back.

“It’ll be okay Jess.” (Y/n) said. “It’ll be okay.”

****

The Next Day

Dean went driving around early the next morning. He wanted to think of anything except the fact that he was burying his baby brother today. Or well, they were having a graveside funeral for an empty grave, because there was no body to bury.

Something caught his eye as he drove. He pulled over and parked so he could peer through the windshield at the side of the building. On the brick, painted by faded, was an old Pez ad.

“De!” Little Sam said as they walked hand and hand towards the store to get some candy. “Look!” Dean looked over to see the spaceman Pez ad. “We could be spacemen! And eat Pez all the time. Oh! And play with monkeys!”

“Yeah Sammy.” Dean laughed. “Why don’t you be a spaceman and I’ll be the guy who builds your rocket?”

“Deal!” Sam smiled at Dean. “Wait...can I have a nightlight in space?”

Dean didn’t even realize he was crying until he felt the tired burn on his eyes. He got out of the car and slipped on some sunglasses. The store that the ad was painted on the side of was an old toy store. He made his way in, seeing a wall of Pez dispensers.

“Is there anything I can help you find?” The sweet old lady behind the counter asked.

“I, uh...my brother is being buried today. And he was an astronaut. Do...do you have any Spacemen?” Dean asked, feeling awkward right then.

“Oh, let me look hun.” She said, going to examine the collection. She came back a minute later.

“Was your brother one of the ones who went to space and stopped the asteroid?” She asked. Dean nodded.

“We both were up there.” Dean admitted. She smiled softly at him.

“My husband has this priced at $50, but for you, how about $25?”

“I can pay the full price…” Dean said. She shook her head.

“You saved our lives. It’s the least I can do.” She told him. Dean sniffled a little and paid her.

“Sam saved your life,” Dean said as he headed out of the store. “Not me. I’m no hero.” With that, he went back out to the Impala and headed to the graveyard.

Dean’s family was all gathered there, as well as the astronauts from the mission, and even some people he had met for a brief second at Cape Canaveral. Dean didn’t really pay much attention to the service, he just focused on the fact that Sam was gone and he wasn’t coming back.

After it was over and (Y/n) headed towards the Impala, Dean stood in front of the headstone for Sam. He wiped at his eyes and took a deep breath.

“I’ll make sure Ashton knows all about you when he’s old enough.” Dean explained. “And I’ll tell everyone I can about how much of a hero you are.” He knelt down and placed the Pez by the headstone. “You got to be a spaceman after all Sammy.” The wind blew softly and Dean knew, just knew, it was Sam.

Forever Tags:  @anathewierdo @dekahg @marvel-af-imagines @feelmyroarrrr @nanie5 @imboredsueme @gemini0410 @aiaranradnay @babypink224221 @mogaruke @xxwarhawk @sandlee44 @shatteredabby @caswinchester2000 @supernaturalwincestsblog @lauravic @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk @teller258316 @horrorpxnk

Dean Winchester/Jensen Ackles Tags: @queenslandlover-93 @screechingartisancashbailiff @maaryisafangirl @deathofmissjackson @hellabrothers @fandom-princess-forevermore @x-waywardaf-x @webcraft4eveh @deansgirl-1968 @2dead2function @jjjjjjjoshdun @stella20131991@luciathewinchestergirl @sheris532 @bobasheebaby @bella-ca @akshi8278

Supernatural Tags:  @bandobsession98 @mrsdeanfuckingwinchester @fangirlsencyclopaediaofweirdness @ilovetardis @missihart23 @cloudyskylines @sams-serialkiller-fetish @theas-bedtime-stories @huntingfreewill @ocholove @princessofthefandomrealm @getbackhonkycatt @flamencodiva

Armageddon Tags: @thefaithfulwriter

[kim-isnt-seaweed]

On today's episode of Kim's spooky family stories: our houses.

So apparently all the houses we've lived in have been haunted according to my family, except that one apartment(debatable)but that only because it was brand-spanking new, my parents literally bought it before it was even built.

1. The first apartment of the infamous guy with the bloody face who may or may not be my biological father. I've told this story many times so I'm not gonna tell it but if you won't just tell me.

2. The house with the yard. My father, in particular, didn't like this house, he said it gave him the creeps and that he always heard children playing and laughing in the service bedroom downstairs when the actual kids of the house weren't even home (thank you father for letting me play in that room by myself in the time so nice) one day my dad stayed from work because he was sick, in the afternoon he was lying in bed and my mom was sitting in a chair across from him when a black cloud thing entered the room through the window, hovered between them for a few seconds and then left, needless to say, my parents were perplexed. Another different night while they were sleeping my mom felt something wet touch her so she woke up thinking it was my brother who peed the bed but he wasn't even there, then she looked for our dog thinking she licked her but she wasn't there either so she was going to ignore it and go back to sleep but she heard talking so she got up to check and found that the common bathroom pipe had burst and the house was flooding (she says it was angels or something) I didn't have experiences only a highly lucid dream of the apocalypse in that house.

3. The dark house. It was a level floor apartment with low wooden ceilings and I absolutely hated that house so much, no reason I just didn't like it but again I didn't have experiences myself. My parents and our nanny said they could hear things being moved around, being touched or feeling watched, my mom multiple times said the chairs were moved from their original place but me being young and ... I was none the wiser. Neighbors kept calling my parents when we were away because they kept thinking someone might have broken in since they saw movement in the house and stuff like that.

4. Pretty apartment. Nothing really happened there maybe that one time I was alone and everything started to flicker and the kitchen cabinets sounded like they were being shut but I honestly don't know. And maybe that one time when I swear there was a glitch in the matrix or something because my mom and I were alone we hear a loud thump coming from my sisters room, I go check on her and baby sister isn't in her crib, I check under the bed she isn't there as soon as I go out the room freaking out my sister starts crying from under the crib where she wasn't a second before when I checked. Either my sister being the monkey she is fell of the crib and knocked herself unconscious for a good second while my farsighted ass looked or she hadn't finished loading.

5. The stair house. I wasn't in this house long before I moved to Korea but my mom and grandpa swore there was someone going up the stairs every night when everyone was in bed and that they would sometimes walk around the living room and sitting in the sofa. That's why they tried to open? The stairs to see if there was a guaca or something.

That's all I can think of about the houses for now. The only experience I ever had but I'm not sure was in my mom's childhood home in their old (dangerous) neighborhood. My uncle still lived there for a long time and one night, late at night I was changing my clothes when I heard a knock at the window. I lifted a small corner and saw someone in what looked like hoodie standing in front of the window with something silver in its hand But I couldn't see the face because I didn't have my glasses. I ran out of the room to tell my uncle and he ran out of the house to see and there was no one near the house and on one on the streets at that hour. It could've either been a thief or a ghost..we'll never know.

Anyway, i hope you like some stories I've collected over the years of being part of a highly superstitious Colombian family.

[adamsdoyle]

My girlfriend asked me to make her a list of works of fantasy and science fiction so should could feel keyed into references when they come up in conversation. She wanted to feel more grounded in these genres, which she likes, but hasnt made the effort to be on top of everything.

I was happy to compile the most important names, but told her it couldn’t be a short list because recognizing the works of today means honoring their origins, which goes way back into our past. 

What’s below is my best effort to include what I assess to be the most culturally relevant becoming, tempering my favorites, and trying to keep it from being totally overwhelming. I’ve left off works from the past five to ten years because it can take a span of time before we're aware the effects new ideas may have. Felt like sharing here in case you or your friends want a crash course on the bedrock of our imagined landscape. I do try to be globally aware, however this list will reflect my bias as a white, straight, male who grew up in the States. And as this is an ongoing conversation between her and myself, I wanted to be able to vouch for the contents.

-Key-

(Wiki)  Read up for cultural significance *         Personal Favorite +        Hugely influential ^        Non-Essential but worth listing

-Literature-

8,000 BC Aboriginal mythology (pre written language)

2,300 BC Egyptian & Chinese myths+

1,000 BC The Old Testament+

900 BC Greek myths, fables, and all the rest

300 BC - 1800 AD Folk and fairy tales+

1000 AD Beowulf (Wiki)

1100s Legend of King Arthur+ 1200s Norse mythology+

1300s The Inferno - Dante Alighieri+

1500s A Midsummer Night’s Dream - Shakespeare

1600s Paradise Lost*

1700s Gulliver’s Travels The Arabian Nights (Wiki)

1800s Faust Frankenstein* - Mary Wollstonecraft Shelly+ Grimm’s fairy tales+ (Wiki brothers, who collected folktales) The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde* Dracula - Bram Stoker+ Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll+ Flatland The Time Machine & War of the Worlds - HG Wells+ (godfather of SF) Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea - Jules Verne+ The Tell-Tale Heart - Edgar Allan Poe+

1900s Peter Pan - JM Barry The Comet - WEB Dubois Little Nemo in Slumberland - Winsor McCay The Book of Wonder - Lord Dunsany (less known now, he was highly influential in his time for fantasy & mythos) The Metamorphosis - Franz Kafka+ (Einstein’s Theory of Relativity) The Wizard of Oz - L. Frank Baum+ John Carter of Mars - (Wiki) Call of Cthulhu or The Outsider - HP Lovecraft+ Brave New World - Aldous Huxley (Teacher of Orwell https://bit.ly/2xayA23) 1984 - George Orwell+ Amazing Stories magazine - John Campbell+ (writer & editor)

After 1950 Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien+ Chronicles of Narnia* - CS Lewis I Am Legend - Richard Matheson (The first real zombie story. Also wrote for Twilight Zone) Childhood’s End - Arthur C Clarke+ I, Robot - Isaac Asimov+ Farenheit 451 - Ray Bradbury Funes the Memorious or The Garden of Forking Paths - Borges+ Slaughterhouse Five - Kurt Vonnegut Wizard of Earthsea or The Lathe of Heaven - Ursula LeGuin Stranger in a Strange Land - Robert Heinlein Dune Where the Wild Things Are - Maurice Sendak The Neverending Story* ^The Man in the High Castle Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? - (inspired Bladerunner) Philip K Dick+ The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy A Wrinkle in Time The Stand - Stephen King+

After 1980 Invisible Cities - Italo Calvino Xanth series* Communion - (True account of alien abduction) Neuromancer - William Gibson+ Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood Jurassic Park - Michael Crichton+ Snow Crash - Neal Stephenson Ender’s Game* - Orson Scott Card Parable of the Sower - Octavia Butler A Song of Ice & Fire - George RR Martin ^Hunger Games Harry Potter - JK Rowling+ Who Fears Death

-Comics/Superheroes-

-DC Comics- Superman (Wiki how he came to be) Wonder Woman (Wiki how she came to be or watch Professor Marston and the Wonder Women. Very interesting) Batman (and Joker) The Sandman - Neil Gaiman Watchmen* - Alan Moore+

-Marvel Comics- Spiderman* (Wiki how he came to be) X Men* Avengers (the hugely popular films all started with decades of comics) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles* Hellboy*

-Games- Dungeons & Dragons+ Magic the Gathering Netrunner

-Artists & Illustrators-

1100-1200 Anonymous monk’s illuminated manuscript creatures - https://bit.ly/2Ynytf7

1400s Hieronomous Bosch+ Leonardo DaVinci Michelangelo+ 1500s Arcimboldo

1800s Gustav Doré+ Howard Pyle JW Waterhouse

1900s Maxfield Parish NC Wyeth+ Sir John Tenniel Windsor McCay+ Arthur Rackham - fairy tales Jack Kirby - superhero comics Margaret Brundage - Weird Tales covers Picasso - Cubism Chesley Bonestell - space travel, integral to NASA Frank Frazetta MC Escher Heinrich Kley Sun Ra - Afrofuturist musician

After 1980 Jeff Easley - D&D Jim Lee - X Men Michael Whelan  H.R. Giger - Alien films Brian Froud  Syd Mead - design of Bladerunner & other films Roger Dean - album covers Jean Giraud aka Moebius Bill Waterson - Calvin & Hobbes Leo Dillon and Diane Dillon James Gurney - Dinotopia Alan Lee - Lord of the Rings Alex Ross - superheroes Chris Van Allsburg Mike Mignola - Hellboy Mary GrandPré - Harry Potter

-Radio-

1930s -1950s Flash Gordon War of the Worlds (Wiki Orson Welles’ radio hoax) Buck Rogers The Shadow and much more in the ensuing years, including adaptations of The Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, and The Hitchhiker’s Guide

-TV Shows-

After 1950s Twilight Zone - Rod Serling Lost in Space Star Trek - (Wiki) Gene Roddenberry Dr Who (Wiki) The Jetsons (Wiki) Cosmos - Carl Sagan+ (Science fact)

After 1980s Transformers Quantum Leap Twin Peaks - David Lynch (not really either genre but impact has been undeniable) Buffy the Vampire Slayer* - Joss Whedon X Files* Neon Genesis Evangelion

After 2000 Firefly - Joss Whedon Lost* - JJ Abrams Battlestar Galactica Black Mirror* Game of Thrones Westworld* - reboot of Michael Crichton 1970s film

-Films-

1900s King Kong (Wiki) The Wizard of Oz+ Fantasia- Disney+ Monster movies- Dracula, The Mummy, The Wolfman, Creature from the Black Lagoon, Frankenstein (Wiki)

After 1950 Godzilla+ (Wiki) Seven Samurai or Hidden Fortress - Akira Kurosawa+ (Not SF or fantasy but influential) The 7th Voyage of Sinbad - Special effects by Ray Harryhausen (Wiki) Invasion of the Body Snatchers 2001 A Space Odyssey - Stanley Kubrick+ (Wiki) Planet of the Apes Night of the Living Dead+ (Wiki) Superman #Star Wars Trilogy - George Lucas (owing to Joseph Campbell’s monomyth)+

After 1980 Bladerunner* - Ridley Scott ^Legend Mad Max series Alien or sequel Aliens Close Encounters of the 3rd Kind - Steven Spielberg+ ET Star Trek series Back to the Future Brazil - Terry Gilliam+ Tron+ Ghostbusters* Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure* The Princess Bride* Labyrinth* The Terminator & Terminator 2* - James Cameron+ Akira The Fifth Element Robocop Beetlejuice ^Nightmare Before Xmas* Jurassic Park - Steven Spielberg+ The City of Lost Children* The Iron Giant* 12 Monkeys Groundhog Day* The Sixth Sense Ghost in the Shell (1995 anime) Gattaca* Donnie Darko* Starship Troopers (tongue in cheek adaptation of Heinlein’s classic) The Matrix*

After 2000 Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon My Neighbor Totoro or Spirited Away - Hayao Miyazaki ^Underworld Minority Report Lord of the Rings Primer ^The Incredibles Shaun of the Dead*  Pan’s Labyrinth - Guillermo del Toro Moon* Marvel Cinematic Universe ^Idiocracy Inception* &/or Interseller - Christopher Nolan+

[one-who-reads-too-much]

home with the hollands

a/n- y’all my writing is all fluff, i need some angst. this got a lot longer than i thought it would. i didnt want it to be cliché i failed . feedback is always appreciated of course. 

Word count- 2.1k 

Warnings- fluff !! 

Request- Could you do one where tom takes the reader home to meet the rest of the fam maybe love yoyr work <3

enjoy!!

Your hands shook as you gaped out the window. London was beautiful. But it’s allure was overshadowed by the impending doom. Perhaps you were being dramatic, except, meeting your boyfriend of six months parents seemed like an acceptable reason to get a bit tense. Never mind that your boyfriend was Tom Holland, and his whole family could be considered famous. Oh, and the fact that he had probably brought home countless attractive and famous girls. Girls you couldn’t hold a candle to. Forget about it. You were panicking.

Tom, observing your distress reached out, gathering your hands in his own, grounding you. “They’ll love you. I promise,” In return you smiled weakly.

“Hey, if it makes you feel better, remember when I met your parents?” he chuckled in attempt to lighten your anxiety.  “Oh god, I remember. Trust me. But they called me yesterday to say they loved you, despite you breaking my mom’s oldest china.” You replied, giggling as he groaned and buried his face in his hands.

As you pulled up to the Holland’s charming house, Tom leaned over to help you unbuckle, and exit the car. “Don’t worry, I think I’ve chatted you up enough. There’s no way they won’t adore you. My mom already talks about you like she knows you’ll be the daughter she never had.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead. “And remember that I love you, and I’m so glad you agreed to do this.”

Then you had grabbed your luggage, paid the taxi, and you were standing in front of the door. It swung open, and you and Tom took a stride into the foyer, hand-in-hand.

Immediately Tom was tackled by two gangly boys. They must have been Sam and Harry. You had basically met them. Tom FaceTimed them once a week and you had joined in more than once. Once the reunited brothers had extracted themselves from their pile, they immediately turned to you.

“Ay, you brought Y/N!” Harry grinned. “Hi! Wow you’re a lot shorter in person,” you smirked in return. Harry gasped in fake offense.

Next, you twisted to greet Sam. “Hey Sam!” He returned the hello, “We finally get to meet the famous Y/N Y/L/N.” He presented you a bouquet of daisies, bright and colorful, rivaling the dreary weather outside. “Here’s a welcoming present.” Your heart swelled at this considerate gesture. “These are my favorite! Thank you so much!” you exclaimed.

“Beautiful flowers for a beautiful girl,” Harry winked, Sam shook his head in exasperation, while Tom pulled you against his side. “Stop trying to steal my girlfriend,” he play-growled, nuzzling his face into your hair. “She’s mine.”

You pushed away. “I belong to no man,” you giggled in mock-indignation. The boys’ “oohs,” were interrupted by a clattering from another room.

“Tom? Is that you?” A woman’s voice rang out.  The speaker quickly bustled into the room. A slim woman with fiery orange hair quickly enveloped Tom into her embrace. “Hi, mom!” She pulled away and did a double take, giving you a once over. “Y/N,” her smile melted off her face. Before you could respond, or even give her the bouquet you had bought for her, she was back in the kitchen. You glanced up at Tom to gauge whether he had picked up on the slight hostility his mom expressed. He was oblivious, smiling down at you.

You caught a glimpse of a small boy, with a spattering of freckles. When your eyes met he started to shrink back into the shadows. “You must be Paddy! I’ve heard so much about you!” you exclaimed, walking forward to greet the youngest Holland. “I brought you something!” You pulled a pack of football cards from your back pocket. “Tom said you’d like these,” He nodded and thanked you enthusiastically.

Dom shuffled around the corner to aide you with your bags. “Ah, Y/N, we’ve heard so much about you. You’re all Tom talks about. Jeez, what did you pack? Bricks?” he chuckled good naturedly as he hauled them up the stairs. You liked him immediately. As he showed you to your room, Tom trailing behind, he cracked countless jokes, easing the tension from earlier.

The minute Dom closed the door after jokingly laying down the law of “no monkey business, yeah?” you flopped down on the bed, taking in the room. The room Tom had grown up in. There was nothing special about it, yet you found it endearing. Spiderman action figures lined his desk (what a dork) ; posters from old bands covered the walls; framed photographs of his family, friends and co-stars were placed on a shelf above his bed. As you looked closer, you saw that pictures of you took up the majority of the limited space. The one in the center you remembered like it was yesterday: it was just a few months after Tom had confessed his feelings for you, you were on a beach in LA where you had visited for his birthday. You were laughing, head thrown back onto Tom’s shoulder, his arm was encircling your waist and he was staring at you with so much adoration, you could practically feel the heat.

You were drawn back to the present day as Tom flopped down next to you. You turned onto your side to look at him. “I don’t think your mom likes me,” you stated matter-of-factly.

“What?!” he pushed himself up onto one elbow. “Why would you say that?”

“She just didn’t seem happy to see me,” you realized you sounded paranoid, but you couldn’t help it. “Sorry, I sound stupid right now, it’s just my anxiety and-” he cut you off by wrapping you in his arms. “I know, I know. She’s just a little slow with new people. She’ll love you,” he coaxed, “Though not as much as I love you. That’s impossible,” You laughed, cheeks turing rosy.

“I’m going to go see if she needs help with anything.” you withdrew from Tom’s arms, suddenly very cold. Before you exited, you looked back at your boyfriend, sprawled out on his childhood bed, fingers tapping furiously on his phone, eyes scrunched, his lip was between his teeth. You would go through anything, even suffer through awkward family dinners, for him, you realized as your heart swelled.

As you padded downstairs, you heard muffled voices from the kitchen. You hesitated outside the doorway, not quite eavesdropping, but still hearing quiet sniffling. Peering around the corner, you saw Nicola perched on a stool, her face buried in her hands, shoulders shaking. You meant to make a stealthy retreat from the all-too-private scene and return later, but of course you had to catch your foot on the rug, twisting in a full circle in attempt to catch yourself, only resulting in you crashing full force onto the tile floor of the Holland’s kitchen.

Nicola gave a start, “Y/N! Are you ok?” You smiled sheepishly up at her. “Yeah, I’m all good thanks, I just thought I’d make a dramatic entrance, y’know?” you replied, standing up and brushing yourself off. Instead of acknowledging your feeble attempt at a joke, she turned away, her shoulders still shuddering.

Your humor disappeared in a flash as you placed a tentative hand on her shoulder. “Are you alright? Anything you’d like to talk about?” What were you supposed to do in these types of situations? She let out a sob,

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. It’s just this is the day my mother died a few years ago and it’s a bit hard for me. And I don’t know, you just reminded me so much of her. She was beautiful and witty just like you. It’s just never a good day for me.”

You were taken aback. Not really knowing what to do otherwise you gathered her into a hug. “I’m honored to be associated with someone like your mother,” you consoled, “I bet she’d be proud of you.” She responded with a watery smile.

“Thank you Y/N, that means more than you know,” she paused, then snapped into action. “Now, let's get started on some dinner!” she clapped, her previous grief disappearing.

You glimpsed Tom, who had observed the exchange. He was leaning against the doorway, a faint smile tracing his lips, his copper eyes shining warmly. When you caught his gaze you beamed, and spun back to face Nicola, who was calling in her boys to help her. Before the stampede arrived, she whispered in your ear, “If things work out the way I think they will, I would be ecstatic to have you as my daughter.” You blushed as she winked.

Cooking dinner, all crammed into one kitchen was hectic, to say the least. Tom snuck as many kisses as possible, and the twins tried to start a food fight by sprinkling flour all in your hair, to which you and Paddy teamed up on them and chased them out the kitchen by shoving ice cubes down their shirts. You took instruction from Nicola, who had since not stopped smiling, joining in on the antics. Finally you all emerged from the kitchen with a meal fit to be on Food Network, covered in flour, and in the twins’ cases, sopping wet and shivering.  

The whole family collected around the table and you all immediately dug in. At first the conversation was mundane and you were content to just observe the dynamics of the family, Tom rubbing small circles on your back occasionally, his own way of checking in with you.

Dom suddenly shifted his attention to you, “So Y/N, tell me about yourself,” your anxiety started to spike, and you looked back at Tom, who nodded expectantly.  So you started to talk animatley about your passion, you could feel your eyes lighting up, and your hands starting to wave around. You realized you were rambling so you started to fade off, but looking around at the family who were all listening intently, more so than anyone you had ever opened up to, you continued.

The rest of dinner, the Hollands took turn asking you about your life, and your’s and Tom’s relationship. You found yourself loosening up, and truly feeling at home amongst the repartee.

During dinner, Paddy had been griping about an English project, which happened to be your forté, so you coached him through it after the table was cleared. With your aide, you finished quickly and you went to find Tom.

Once again you found yourself hidden in the shadows outside the kitchen doorway when you heard your name being mentioned. Tom and Nicola stood side-by-side at the sink, elbow deep in soapy water. “So, what do you think of Y/N?” Tom asked tentatively, “Because, mom, I think she’s the one. I’ve never been happier. I just have this feeling, like she’s the one I want to spend the rest of my life with,”

“Oh, Tom, that’s wonderful! I think you two are perfect for each other. I really love her,” Nicola turned towards her son.

“Okay good, because, well, look,” Tom stuttered, pulling out a petite navy blue box. You had to check yourself as you let out a muted gasp. Thankfully, Nicola reacted the same way, jumping up and down like a child.

“Tom! You’re getting married!” She squealed, to which Tom quickly shushed her.

“Mom! She hasn’t even said yes yet,”

“Oh, but she will,” she responded slyly, “Now what’s your plan?”

You slipped away before they could continue. You didn’t want to spoil the moment for both you and Tom. The minute you got to Tom’s room, you spun in a circle, overtook with adrenaline. He hadn’t even asked you, and you couldn’t stop beaming. A knock at the door interrupted your private celebration. It was Tom.

“Hey, love,” he laughed, closing the door behind him, “Whatcha doing?” You turned bright red, “Oh, nothing,”

“How are you doing? What with meeting them, and-” you cut him off, with a kiss, suddenly very affectionate. “I freaking love your family,” He chuckled, “Good, I’m glad. Told you they’d adore you.”

Harry abruptly barged into the room, with Sam trailing behind, apologizing for his brother’s brashness. “You love birds wanna watch a movie?”

And so you found yourself wrapped in a blanket with Tom, his ratty sweatshirt keeping you warm, watching an old horror movie. Paddy sat next to you, and you exchanged sarcastic comments. Harry would throw popcorn at you two every once and awhile to shut you up. As the movie progressed, you found yourself dozing off against Tom’s chest, he soothingly wound your hair around his fingers.

In the fine line between dreams and reality, you glanced around. Though you had met them only today, you felt… safe... home, with the Hollands. Like you were already part of their family. And weeks later, it would be official.

[purghhappenings]

Do you have any headcanons for an alternate universe where Mihawk is Zoro's biological father?

*busts through wall* BOY DO I 

TBH its totally gotta be canon at this point i mean if it’s not, someone will have to pay me for every dead parent/child in one piece

Here’s some HC’s for you! I hope you like them!(sorry it took so long my phone was being dumb and I decided I wanted to write them on my laptop for you)

Mihawk has always been a single dad and when the kid showed up on his doorstep he only had a few questions

1) is this another one of red hair pranks?2) Is it mine?And last but not least(not really a question)3) Fuck.

He panicked when Shanks didn’t jump out immediately, because he just accepted the offer to be warlord of the sea how could he raise a fuckin kid. A kid with Green hair?! “He’s gotta be important” Shank’s had screamed which just made Mihawk scream and right now he was talking to Benn about childcare and why didn’t Mihawk let the fucking baboons eat it?!

“What are you gonna call him Hawky?” Shanks questioned as he stood over the little one’s crib.

“Definitely not after me, it’ll cause him issues later on”“Doesn’t help what you’re gonna call him. Oh! How about SJ, Shanks Jr-”“Roronoa Zoro.”“What?”“It’s a powerful name, from a character I read and I found him in November which is the eleventh mon-”“Nerd shit, got it Hawky.”

He was bad at first. Like really fucking bad. He uh, thought it would be a good idea to take the kid with him everywhere, which in turn means he showed up to a Shichibukai meeting with an infant strapped to his chest and Boa, life long friend(at this point a new friend) was like, what are you doing.“This is a kid who was left on my door and I unfortunately could not leave him there, so I am acting as his guardian.”“No I assumed that from the everything about how shitty you look but, why isn’t he wearing anything more than a diaper you’re sailing with him in the hot ass sun, what the fuck mihawk?!” and Mihawk honest to god thought it was okay to do something like this.

To be fair all Benn told him was “it’s like Shanks is naturally but it can’t talk yet” so Mihawk knew the basics, keep him fed, clean, safe, he can’t hold a sword properly but he’d be there soon, and well, that’s about it. The man was a master swordsman and couldn’t remember the specifics of his childhood.

With a shit ton little help from Boa, (her calling everyone she knew, he got a more extensive idea of child raising) After a few crash courses from none other than A marine by the name of Sengoku and Monkey D. Garp(mihawk prayed for those children) he became perfect

He took Zoro with him everywhere, and when they found a pink haired little girl at the ripe age of 4(zoro was still an infant) Mihawk said “Sure i guess this one too)

He took his two children everywhere and hell be damned if they ever came home with a scratch. No not after the first pirate crew that kidnapped both of them and they were just… Gone.

As Zoro and Perona got older Mihawk personally trained them( he was only in his 20′s when he found the little ones but damn those were his kids)

Zoro expressed interest in swords while Perona was more of a free spirit(haha get it, cause she uses ghosts???? I’m sorry)

But they were both trained on hand to hand combat, the world, anything mihawk could give and teach them was theirs. He taught them responsibility and honor and he was very much a doting parent when it came to Warlord meetings

“not only are they still alive, but Perona just went off to join her first crew” he threatens Moria sixty different ways from hell that if he gets his little girl hurt he’d had better hope he was already dead

Zoro still wants to kick his dad’s ass, but he really can admire the man who can fend most off in his sleep(he’s watched him do it and didn’t challenge mihawk for a full month out of fear for his own life)

When Zoro went off to join his crew Mihawk talked about it for days 

He also worried a bunch, especially when he saw the bounties just. keep. going. up

During the two year time skip Mihawk says “Zoro, do you remember your training when you were little?”

“Yeah, it was hell.”

“I am going to make you the strongest swordsman in the world, or at least throw you onto the path a little harder than before. Can you guess what this means?”

Perona: Bye Zoro, it was nice to have a little brother for a few years.

A father can worry about their child and still kinda want to let them know they’re weak and have a long way to go right? Mihawk thinks so

In an alternate AU Mihawk definitely teaches and trains his kiddos in krav maga along with other hardcore fighting styles and even though his BF Monkey D. Luffy is a crazy good fighter, god have mercy on the man, woman, or grandpa that decided to fuck with any of Zoro’s friends.(Or Peronas)

I said he went from Shit -> Perfect, and I meant it.

Mihawk was on top of school, emotional support, and discipline like it was a career! (His actual career is mob boss enforcer but we won’t go there) 

He is an honest to god lowkey mama bear like, he lets his kids fight his own battles and this is for the safety of the people around him. Shanks one time questioned Mihawk on a decision about Zoro and the rumor is Mihawk broke his arm in three different places before the end of the sentence was out(a rumor that was started among the ranks but it was effective at keeping people in line(shanks actually tripped from a prank Zoro and Perona were pulling and he was too proud to say that))

He’s lowkey because he has a permanent resting bitch face, Dr. Trafalgar has already pronounced it incurable, and when Perona and Zoro are excitedly talking about something his face doesn’t change to the natural human eye, but if you’ve been around him long enough he completely opens up and his small smile is like a shining beam of sunshine

He is always proud of his kids, but not like in the “THEY CAN DO NO WRONG” more of a, they always have a solid reason(or they better, he raised them that way!) and stand their ground, and that’s noble to him it really is, so while he doesn’t always agree with Zoro or Perona, like a needless fight, he knows if they’re honest to god fighting, there is a good reason that they feel they should stand by

He’s also raised them that if they fought and then learned the reason wasn’t that great to admit it to themselves and work on being better

Mihawk never hit any of his two kids and all he has to do is look at them and they behave not from fear but from respect and it’s terrifying to watch the man just command a room, also murder people and then just be a dad in the end like mihawk is a force

Mihawk was a big fan of self reflection as a person and he brought that into his parenting. He’s like “i get you thought it was a good idea to put gum in your sisters hair because she was being a ‘doo doo’ head but why was she being a ‘doo doo’ head”“Cause I kept antagonizing her” “so what do you think needs to be done about this?”And if either one had no clue, he’d tell them it was fine to not know but they should at least sit and think and try to figure it out, or if they needed help he’d help themor if they knew “I need to apologize”“if they don’t accept?”“it’s all i can do to rectify my actions” and man to see that parenting in action???(dont yall fucking wish?)

SO yeah he was a good single dad,

made all the appointments, games, recitals, plays, parties

He won’t admit to most he was shit at first, but he totes keeps updated pictures in his wallet of his two kids, and even has photo albums of stuff like “Perona’s first makeup” and “Zoros first recital” all of it. He has in his room. And after his two kids are moved out, he’ll just drink some really fancy wine, and look at the albums of his two surprise children and thank every star in the sky he was found by them

I hope you like these!!!! Dad!Mihawk makes me feel warm and fuzzy because while he’s a fucking monster to fight, I feel like his parenting skills are just on point because of how cool and collected he is, plus it’d be nice for more than three of them to have wonderful familes

Dont hesitate to ask me questions!!!! I was thinking about playing an ask game, so let me know if you think it’d be a good idea!!!!

Again, I can’t thank you enough for the ask, my heart has melted from Dad Mihawk( I self inserted Perona also being his kid so I hope that’s okay)

Thanks a bunch! Come talk to me ya’ll!!!

[eddycurrents]

For the week of 11 December 2017

Quick Bits:

Amazing Spider-Man #792 continues the “Venom Inc.” crossover and it’s just as much fun as the Alpha issue. Ryan Stegman also provides art for this issue and he proves once again why he’s one of the best at Marvel, particularly when it comes to illustrating Spider-Man. The interplay between Flash, now as Anti-Venom, and Peter is an interesting dynamic, especially with how far Flash has come since high school, and it’s well-explored here.

| Published by Marvel

Animosity #11 gets into some of the divisions that have occurred following the Wake, some of the different groupings and reactions to animals other than humans gaining a spoken voice, and illustrates what animals will find acceptable in propagating their own survival. In this case the subjugation of bees, because they can’t be heard, because they’re little.

| Published by AfterShock

The Archies #3 throws some more kindling on the fire for the troubles of the band, both figuratively and literally.

| Published by Archie Comics

Astonisher #3 is interesting in that just as it looks like Magnus is finally getting the hang of the superheroics, dedicating himself to something more than just his own self-interest, a huge monkey wrench is thrown in his way. Other than just the red worm infecting those affected by the meteorite, there seems to be another insidiousness in the title. Alex de Campi is doing some great work here, both with plot and character.

| Published by Lion Forge / Catalyst Prime

Black Panther: Long Live the King #1 is a digital first comic from Nnedi Okorafor and André Lima Araújo and it’s wonderful. Okorafor sets up an interesting mystery amidst what could be a natural disaster, could be something more, as Wakanda’s capital is struck by an earthquake. T’Challa sees a Lovecraftian monstrosity during the quake, but he seems to be the only one, leading others to question his leadership. Aided by Chris O’Halloran’s colours, Araújo’s artwork is just the icing on top.

| Published by Marvel

Bloodshot Salvation #4 is a flashback issue spotlighting the trouble childhood of Project Omen’s director, the Scarred Man, and his brother, the man who will become Rampage. This issue is wholly illustrated by Mico Suayan, with Diego Rodriguez, and it’s as beautiful as the story itself is troubling.

| Published by Valiant

Brilliant Trash #2 takes us a bit deeper into the world of genetically modified superbeings, mixed a bit with social media and political activism, but not too far. We get glimpses of both sides in this battle, introducing us to more of the players, but we’re still left wondering what’s actually going on.

| Published by AfterShock

Coyotes #2 delivers on the promise of the first issue, following it up with more compelling storytelling, delving deeper into the mythology of the coyotes, where they’re likely coming from, the Victorias, and Red’s family. Sean Lewis and Caitlin Yarsky have something amazing here, with some strong world-building, fascinating characters, and stunning artwork.

| Published by Image

The Damned #6 begins a new old story-arc, reprinting the Prodigal Sons arc from the second mini-series, now with colours by Bill Crabtree. I think it’s still worth it for the colour if you’ve already read the originals.

| Published by Oni Press

Giants #1 is a fairly impressive debut from Carlos and Miguel Valderrama. It takes place in a post-apocalyptic world where kaiju rule the surface of the Earth and humans have taken to the underground, forming gangs to survive. Gogi and Zedo are two kids trying to join the Bloodwolves, serving as our entrance point to this world and giving the book a bit of heart.

| Published by Dark Horse

Grass Kings #10 switches to Maria’s perspective this time as she and Shelly discuss what’s been going on in the investigation into Jen Handel’s death, deciding that it’s time to confront Archie in what he knows. Once again, I’m highly impressed by how Matt Kindt is telling this story, as a mix of Robert Altman and Geoffrey Chaucer, using an ensemble mosaic to propel the narrative.

| Published by BOOM! Studios

Harrow County #28 features Emmy versus Kammi for all the marbles, with an ending that you don’t necessarily see coming, which is going to leave you questioning what Cullen Bunn has just done to us.

| Published by Dark Horse

Judas #1 is one of the most beautiful looking books this month thanks to the stunning artwork by Jakub Rebelka. His art was one of the highlights of Namesake and now he’s elevating this series. I particularly like the black halo following Judas’ death, it’s just a little touch that adds a lot. The story itself by Jeff Loveness is also interesting, giving a kind of bleak, existential crisis from the point of view of Judas Iscariot, trying to figure out his afterlife and how he fit into the story of Jesus’ death.

| Published by BOOM! Studios

Jughead: The Hunger #2 nicely expands upon the factions, adding new players and family members to broaden the story, just as Jughead is recognized by a store clerk, drawing down upon himself the police. Frank Tieri’s setting up the pieces for what should be an interesting confrontation between the Coopers and Jughead.

| Published by Archie Comics / Archie’s Madhouse Presents

Kid Lobotomy #3 starts getting to the root of Kid’s metamorphosis and Kafka obsession, while unearthing some of the skeletons of Big Daddy and the Suites’ closets. All through Peter Milligan’s nutty story, Tess Fowler’s art brings it to life wonderfully.

| Published by IDW / Black Crown

Maestros #3 gives Will and the world a giant pile of crap as Rygol and Mardok join forces to destroy his capital and kill his people. Just when we thought Steve Skroce’s mad fantasy story couldn’t get stranger, it does.

| Published by Image

Monstro Mechanica #1 is off to a good start. The premise of Leonardo building a robot is interesting, as is his assistant, Isabel, allowing it to learn and grow despite Leonardo’s instructions otherwise, but it’s the political intrigue that’s really going to hook you. Along with the art, Chris Evenhuis has a clean, smooth style that really suits the subject matter.

| Published by AfterShock

Port of Earth #2 gets into the implications that the corporations signed the deal with the aliens and sold out the Earth on the basis of sheer greed. It’s not far-fetched, given the current political climate, but there’s also a hint that the port was going to happen anyway, the deal being the only thing that kept humans alive. The bulk of this issue, though, deals with our POV ESA security agents continuing to chase down the rogue alien “visitor”. From it, it appears that there’s a broader scheme hatching.

| Published by Image / Top Cow

Retcon #4...so...aliens. And we’re done.

| Published by Image

Rumble #1 is something I’ve been looking forward to since John Arcudi announced that James Harren was leaving the title and David Rubín was taking over. I absolutely loved the team of Arcudi and Harren, and they really made the first volume of Rumble something unique, but Rubín is probably my favourite new-ish artist to begin working in the North American market in recent years. His art and style is just stunning and fresh, making every character and scene he illustrates something interesting. And he does not disappoint in this first issue.

Arcudi’s humour and quirks, the monstrous and odd characters, the setting, all perfectly mesh with Rubín‘s artwork creating something special. There is a recap of sorts for new readers, albeit biased, so you need not have read the first volume. I still recommend reading it though.

| Published by Image

Runaways #4 is actually a nice moment of respite for the reunited youngsters, as they get introduced to Molly’s grandmother and actually get to relax and be safe for an afternoon. I suspect that the revelation of what Molly’s grandmother has been up to, what they’ve been hinting at since the first issue, is going to be nefarious, but still...somewhat happy issue. Plus, Kris Anka draws some of the best cats.

| Published by Marvel

Slots #3 gives us Stanley’s first fight, as well as giving a look at how Les is an asshole to his “friends”.

| Published by Image / Skybound

Star Wars #40 shows some cracks appearing in the alliance between the Rebels and the remnants of Saw Gerrera’s extremists on Jedha, as Benthic takes a particularly lethal approach to defending what remains of the planet. The artwork this issue, from Salvador Larroca with colours by Guru e-FX, is very impressive.

| Published by Marvel

Other Highlights: Aliens: Dead Orbit #4, All-New Wolverine #28, Ben Reilly: Scarlet Spider #11, Cable #152, Daredevil #596, Dept. H #21, The Despicable Deadpool #290, DuckTales #4, Falcon #3, Gravetrancers #1, Hack/Slash vs. Vampirella #3, Invader Zim #26, Jean Grey #10, Jenny Finn #2, Killer Instinct #3, Punisher #219, Royal City #8, Royals #12, Secret Warriors #10, She-Hulk #160, Sheena: Queen of the Jungle #4, Slam!: The Next Jam #4, Superb #5, The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl #27, Weapon X #12, The Wicked & The Divine Christmas Annual, X-Men Blue #17

Recommended Collections: Amazing Spider-Man: The Clone Conspiracy, Bitch Planet: Triple Feature, Brave Chef Brianna, The Defenders - Volume 1: Diamonds are Forever, Faith and the Future Force, Kim & Kim - Volume 2: Love is a Battlefield, Lady Killer - Volume 2, Lobster Johnson - Volume 5: Pirate’s Ghost, Misfit City - Volume 1, Motor Girl - Volume 2: No Man Left Behind, Peter Parker: The Spectacular Spider-Man - Volume 1: Into Twilight, Rocket: Blue River Score, Star Trek: Boldly Go - Volume 2, There’s Nothing There

d. emerson eddy understands the mysterious nature of the Schwartz. No, he will not teach you.