#he's kind of actually very kind in a way where I'm at ?

[talaok]

PostOutbreak!Joel likes reader but he tries to hide it because of the age gap. To try and put us off, he can be a bit standoffish/mean but Ellie can tell it’s a facade and tells him to drop it and the age thing doesn’t matter if you really like each other. Then a fluffy confession omggg

Pairing: PostOutbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader

Warnings: unspecified age gap, joel being a lil insecure and scared, and Ellie being a menace, but its mostly all fluff who am i kidding

a/n: this was the cutest fucking request ever, thank you anon

You know those books or movies where it's painfully clear to everyone but the two main characters that they love each other, and you keep reading or watching thinking "How could anyone not see that he likes her?" as you increasingly get more frustrated and annoyed?

Well, this is a bit like that,

not a bit actually, completely so.

And in this metaphor, you and Joel were the two oblivious main characters, while Ellie, poor Ellie, was the unfortunate witness of your blindness.

It was so incredibly clear to her that she sometimes struggled not to laugh at your interactions.

I mean the first time Joel saw you was the very first time she'd seen him blush and forget how to speak in the span of a second- it was hilarious.

And then when he'd catch him staring at you or pretend not to purposely take the longer route home just to catch a glimpse of you outside the bakery... it was hard to only chuckle underneath her breath, but she managed... 

until today

Joel slammed the door as he got it, like really loud, not like his usual slam.

"what's wrong?" Ellie asked, her brows frowning in suspicion as he kicked his boots off his feet before halfheartedly dragging them to the kitchen where she was sitting.

"nothin'" he grumbled, 

Now that made Ellie sigh with annoyance,

he was always the one to blab about how she could always confide in him, and if that was the truth, then that meant it went both ways.

"Y'know a grumpy old man once told me that it's good to share how you're feeling" She tilted her head to the side, raising her brow as Joel rolled his eyes, filling a glass with water "Would be real hypocritical of him to not take his own advice..."

Said old man, was now rolling his eyes even harder, drowning the full glass in a second

"'s nothing, don't worry 'bout it"

"Joel" Ellie only glared at him,

and as always when it was her,

he was convinced faster than he liked to admit

He sighed, before speaking "It's stupid" he said

"I don't care" Ellie shrugged, placing her elbows on the kitchen counter where she sat and using her hands to support her head, her whole focus on Joel,

who sighed, again.

"I just-" he placed the glass in the sink before turning back to her "I just saw y/n talking to I guy I-"

"Oh my god you're jealous!" she said it with such enthusiasm and with such a smile pulling at her lips that you would have guessed she'd just won the lottery

"no" Joel frowned, shaking his head "What are you on about? I'm not jealous, I just don't like the guy"

"yeah" Ellie snorted "I'm sure you just "don't like the guy"" she air quoted as she laughed 

"Why would I be jealous?" Joel went on pretending,

perhaps lying to himself together with her, the jury was still out.

"I'm just worried for her-" he argued "she's too kind and too fucking nice and Jake's an asshole"

again, Ellie only smiled as she watched him lie so blatantly

"why would you be jealous?" she pondered his question with amusement "well I don't know... maybe 'cause you have the biggest fucking crush on her"

"What!?" he spat "I don't know what's going on with you today, where did you get all these ideas? I-"

"Oh my god please shut up Joel" she groaned, rolling her eyes "That rude asshole act you do around y/n may work with her, but you don't fool me, Miller"

Ellie could swear she saw a hint of panic in his eyes

"I know you like her, just like I know she likes you" She finally said, done with this little act "I honestly don't get why you two don't just declare your love to one another and live happily ever after or some shit"

It was like he froze,

and while Ellie thought it was because he'd just been busted by a 14-year-old, it was for a wholly different reason

"she doesn't like me" he stated

And at that, at that Ellie could just groan as her palm descended dramatically down the length of her face

God, she'd always known he wasn't the brightest, but this? This is a little too much even for him

"Are you blind or something?" she threw her hands out for emphasis "She's definitely better at hiding it than you, I'll give you that, but I mean, still... it's fucking obvious dude!"

"Ellie" Joel only shook his head "you 'don't know whatcha talkin' 'bout"

Ellie was now very close to yelling at him.

"Joel I'm serious, she likes likes you!" she argued, "why do you find that so hard to believe?"

But of course, Ellie couldn't have known what was going on in Joel's mind, how certain he was that it wasn't true,

about how he knew he didn't deserve someone like you, someone so kind and beautiful and smart,

how he had spent months trying to get the thought of you to leave his tainted mind,

how he'd decided to be mean, rough, rude to you in the hopes that you would stop being so nice to him, in the hopes that you would start to avoid him, to hate him, and he'd never have to see you or that gorgeous smile again.

And finally, Ellie didn't know about how he was too incredibly, terribly old for you, for such a pretty young woman.

Half his hair was gray for god's sake, he never had a chance

"I could be her father Ellie" he finally confessed what had been eating up at him for so long "I'm too fuckin' old"

Ellie didn't even need a moment to take that it, she listened, thought about it, and immediately rolled her eyes

"SO WHAT?" 

You don't understand how long she had to pretend not to want to give the both of you a good shake, 

it was only right for her to finally shout it out

"First of all, you're not that old" she started listing, "second of all, she obviously doesn't care" she continued "and finally Joel, if you really like her, and if she really likes you, then it doesn't matter!"

But Joel was not convinced, he'd spent too long telling himself the opposite, and he couldn't even fathom the possibility of what Ellie was saying

"you just have to tell her"

she said it like it was easy, like the mere thought of it didn't give Joel a minor heart attack, like he hadn't woken up from multiple dreams where he would confess his love and you would laugh at his face, or worse, tell him you felt the same, something Joel knew not to be the truth.

Also, Joel had no idea when exactly throughout this conversation he'd admitted to liking you, but I guess it didn't matter now, it made no sense to keep the farse on.

"I can't Ellie, I-"

"oh my god you're such a chicken" she moaned "You're the one that always tells me to be brave!"

"that's different"

"how!?" she bugged her eyes, holding her palms up in show of her frustration "I get that it's scary, but what's the worst thing that could happen?"

And that, for some reason, stuck with him,

He really had nothing to lose,

It's not like you were friends or you would talk often, it's not like he would be ruining a relationship, there wasn't one,

And yet... yet it still terrified him,

"Ellie... I don't know"

"c'mon man, but your big boy pants on" she groaned "I'm telling you, she fucking likes you"

__ __ __

Joel didn't do it.

He couldn't. He just-

You were perfect, you were perfect in a way that made him feel all the more dirty,

like being close to you, talking to you, touching you... would be like plucking a flower with torn-up hands, 

And fuck him, but Joel was scared, like he'd gone back 40 years and become 16 all over again.

He couldn't do it, he couldn't, wouldn't do it, and he'd set his mind to that, made peace with his cowardness and dread.

Until of course, Ellie's twisted mind came up with a way to force his fears to life.

"Howdy"

The kid was smiling so broadly that she looked like a child with a brand-new toy,

but Joel's eyes were somewhere else,

he was looking at you

"Hi Joel" you smiled, punching a knife into his gut

You were at his front door with his kid, who was very clearly plotting something, and Joel wondered for a moment if this was what would finally make his heart give out.

"Hi," he said, his voice sounding distant

Why is she here?

"Aren't you gonna let us in?" Ellie urged, 

Us?

"Uhm, I-"

but Ellie had already sneaked inside, dragging you behind

And now the awkward scene was even more awkward, just at the entrance of his home.

"All alright" Ellie clapped her hands, watching Joel stare at you as you tried to avoid his gaze "I'm gonna go to my room," she said, shouldering him not so subtly

"Cool down dude" she mumbled, before disappearing upstairs.

What the fuc-

"I'm sorry to barge in like this" you finally spoke, a gentle smile on your lips "Ellie said you needed to tell me something, so I just... came here I guess" you finished with an awkward laugh

Fuck-fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck-

"If it's too much trouble I'll just go-"

"no," Joel said, before he could stop himself, finally realizing he was still holding the door's knob, and in a spur of bravery, deciding to use it to close the door.

"Oh, ok" you mumbled, puzzled by his demeanor "so uhm, what is it you needed to tell me?"

God damn that fucking trick-playing kid of his

"do you- do you want something to drink?"

the question took you aback, but then you did something that stunned Joel even more, you laughed,

you laughed softly, quickly, like you were letting out all this stupid awkwardness in a simple gesture

because that's how you were: Magical

"Sure" you shrugged, grinning "some water would be nice"

If Joel had to watch your face for an instant more he feared he was gonna explode, so he did all he could think of, he walked to the kitchen, only glancing at you again when he handed you your drink,

to his dismay, finding a smile still drawn on your lips.

"thank you" you said, taking a sip

god, even the way your lips wrapped around the rim made him want to drop to his knees.

He needed to get a grip.

"so... are you gonna tell me or do I have to guess?" you joked, your fingers drawing patterns on the glass

Was this really happening?

Was this hell?

"I..." he trailed off, running a hand through his hair as he glanced from the counter to you on repeat "I wanted to tell you that..."

"that?"

"that- the uhm-" he shut his eyes for a second, searching for words "the...bread you gave us this week was real good"

Goddamnit

"oh"

Even you couldn't hide your disappointment

I mean, you certainly didn't expect it. A compliment from Joel Miller? What universe were you in? 

Just like you didn't expect any of this... him actually letting you in his house or offering you water...

You had half expected him to shut the door in your face,

The most he had ever given you was a half smile at a joke you told him while he was picking up bread, the rest were all rude grumbles or just a bunch of stoic looks... 

and yet... yet a part of you couldn't help but have set expectations a little higher.

What a silly fool you'd been, 

hoping for a love confession from a man who has made it very clear he despises you,

but still- a girl can dream, right?

"thank you" you mumbled, as Joel cursed himself over and over in his head "that's very nice of you," you smiled, stalling a second to see if he was gonna say something else, interrupt you at some point,

but he remained silent

"well if that's all, I'm gonna go then, thank you for the water I-"

Until he wasn't

"no-stop- I-"

Ellie was right. 

He had to do this, he had to win his fear and try at least, or he was gonna regret it for the rest of his life, and he already had too many of those.

The problem was that you looked really beautiful today, and he'd never been good with words

Fuck it- if he was gonna make a fool of himself so be it,

He had nothing to lose and everything to win,

he had you to win.

"Yes?" you asked, trying to tame your hopes down

Think Joel, think

how the fuck do you tell a woman you like her?

"There's one other thing I've been meaning to tell ya" he cleared his throat, standing up straighter as he took a step closer to you.

"'m not great at doing this type of thing" he admitted, shaking his head slightly "but Ellie... she's right, I'm always tellin' her to be brave and everythin', so... I guess it's my turn now," he said, letting out a short, anxious laugh "I don't even know- I guess what I'm tryna say is that I'm gonna be honest now, but I want you to know that- that I know what you're gonna say and it's ok" he swallowed thickly, preparing himself from your inevitable rejection "I understand, really, I just- I thought I should try at least" 

What was going on?

What the fuck was he saying?

"Joel, what are you talking about?"

This was it.

It was now or never.

"Y/n I-"

his heart was beating out of his chest, and his legs felt like jelly, but he had to do it, he had to take a leap of faith-

"Y/n I like you" he breathed like the words longed to be out of his mouth "I like you a lot, I have for a while now"

he watched your mouth part, your whole face filling with shock as you blinked over and over, trying to make sure this was really happening.

"Y-you like me?"

"yes" he nodded "And as I said, I know you don't feel the same, I know I'm old, and I've been an asshole to you all this time, so it's ok, really I-"

"stop talking Joel" you huffed a laugh, stepping closer, and then closer again, until your hand was on his arm "please just-" you bit down a smile, and he was so confused, so fucking confused, "say it again," you asked

"I like you y/n" he murmured, trying to get his mind to start working again,

but you were leaning closer,

and who cared what his name was anyway

"you were rude to me"

"I was, I'm sorry I-"

You pretended to be thinking about it, glancing upwards as you pursed your lips together

But who were you kidding?

"you're forgiven" you smiled, looking up at him as you slowly raised yourself on your tiptoes to gently, oh so gently, press your lips to his.

Joel was certain he had just died.

But then he opened his eyes again, and you were still there, beaming up at him, and he felt such a wave of happiness that he could have started crying right there,

only he took on a different route and grabbed each side of your face with his hands, crashing his lips with yours and kissing you, kissing you like he'd been dreaming of for months

exactly how you imagined he would,

better than you imagined, actually

so much better.

"Ha! I told you, Joel!"

He groaned as he leaned away, shooting Ellie an annoyed glance

"What are you doin' here?"

"just came here to gloat" she shrugged, watching you two with a grin plastered on her face

"I think you've done enough of that" he muttered, but you could only smile

"thank you, Ellie," you grinned "Thank you for doing this"

She raised her brows, looking at Joel as if saying "See, she's thanking me, why aren't you?", but then her expression got more genuine as she shot you a smile

"you're welcome" she smiled "Better having to see you kiss than having to put up with Joel being all sad 'cause you're talking to Jack or any other guy"

You gasped with amusement as Joel shut his eyes in embarrassment, his cheeks tainting with red

"Ellie-" Joel grumbled, 

A soft giggle flowed through the room as Ellie turned away and went back up to her room, seemingly satisfied with her work

"You were jealous?" you teased him, your hands on his chest, while he'd moved one of his from your face to your waist.

"maybe I was" he fessed up

You smiled even brighter 

"And you like me?" you asked for the thousandth time

"yes, sweetheart, I really fuckin' like you" he smiled too now, his lips finding yours again in a kiss that made time stand still and the world spin around

"I like you too Joel" you finally said, giving the man an actual mini-stroke.

"say it again"

[simon-newman]

TIL I learned that the initial plans for Smaug in the Hobbit movies had him with four legs and a pair of wings like an actual dragon should be:

Supposedly the original design was still used in the first movie original cut and only changed to show winged forelimbs in the enhanced version.

what we ultimately got is the bat-like front limbs that serve as both arms and wings.

NGL. I still love him but there's this tiny voice at the back of my head saying "this is a wyvern".

Now. Why was the change made?

The official answer is:

"Originally, the dragon we envisioned was bigger. The idea was to get the fear through his bulk. In fact, if you go back and look at the first film and the scenes that he was in, he was actually a four-legged dragon because we just had him stomping through Erebor in all of those flashback scenes," Letteri said. "But we realized that once you saw him performing -- we especially got this from watching Benedict perform. He got down on the grown and starting slithering around like the way Tolkien described Smaug in the books, which is as a big worm. Once we saw Benedict doing all of that, we realized you can't have him be this four-legged creature with wings on him back, he needs to be two legs and his wings need to be his arms properly, as you would expect a creature to be like a bat or a bird."

So in order to make him move like Tolkien described they had to make him not fit the Tolkien's description of having four legs.

They made him less accurate to make him more accurate?

Plus. The excuse that he will be slithering around means he can't have four legs?

This is Fatalis - the most powerful monster in the Monster hunter franchise. It's an Elder Dragon with uniquely Draconic design.

Most regular MH monsters are some kind of a wyvern with four limbs. Elder dragons are different and like Fatalis many have six limbs.

Uniquely - Fatalis is the classic European dragon in terms of design - something that set him apart from other monsters in the franchise.

It is a monster and destroyer of kingdoms.

And he slithers around.

He can move in two ways - by lying flat on his belly and pulling himself forward with wings - in this case the forelegs are held close to his body.

The other method is to actually use the front limbs instead of wings. This gives him multiple means of movement depending on the situation and intentions.

He has a few more animations where he just lies flat or jumps forward - both ending with him flat on the ground and able to stand up easily. Those are attacks that intend to crush enemies with his entire body.

Four legs don't interfere in the slightest with all those movements.

The excuse is weak.

It is just my theory but seeing the recent push for "realistic" design for dragons I personally blame the Game of Thrones.

It began airing too late for the first movie to be changed as the production was likely in a very late stages.

Second one tho? Yeah. I could see how they implement the idea based on G.R.R. Martin's design.

For REALISM.

Of a mythical, flying, fire breathing monster.

I'm just waiting for "realistic" dragons appearing alongside creatures like gryphon and pegasus with the same excuse being made.

...

Thank you to listening to my rant.

[zombflesh]

how do you think ak!jay likes to be hugged (i miss him)

I'm about to yap a lot for this one so strap in. I personally think that Jason wouldn't exactly be used to hugs even before he was tortured. Physical attention wasn't something he was given that much as a child, and he's way used to touch being a negative instead of a positive. His short time with Bruce probably helped him accept that touch wasn't a negative thing until the Joker ruined it all. After Arkham Knight, Jason would not be able to properly stomach any kind of physical contact. He's been tortured, beaten, and is at his lowest point. Jason doesn't even feel human at this point because after everything he can only see himself as a shell of who he once was. The littlest things are a trigger to him. Something as simple as a pat on the shoulder makes him want to claw at his own skin. Jason's S/O would need to be very patient at first. Physical affection is a concept that has been tainted for him. He's trying hard to get used to your gentle touches because he wants to be with you. Jason doesn't want you to be with someone that can barely take care of themselves. Jason wants you to be with a person instead of the ghost that he perceives himself as. Jason heals and slowly but surely, he leans into your hugs. Now to actually answer the question sorry for going on that long ass tangent

At first, Jason's hugs would feel like hugging a statue. Very stiff and he barely moves a muscle. That stiffness slowly melts away the more he heals. And when this man hugs believe me, he HUGS. Jason is starved of affection, and he feels safe in your around. When he hugs you it's always firm but gentle. Jason wants to make you feel safe in his arms like how your presence makes him feel safe. Snuggling with him would feel like hugging a giant teddy bear. Jason would hold you to his chest while his fingers would either rub your back or play with your hair. Of course, there are always those hugs where he picks you up and spins you around. Jason's hugs would be so tight and so warm.

Jason is a forehead kisser and anyone who says otherwise is wrong. After every hug he's give you a big smooch on the forehead. Hear me out on this next part. Little spoon Jason. HEAR ME OUT PLEASE!! Yeah, he prefers to be big spoon. But Jason would melt whenever you hold him. Just imagine the realization that Jason is being held hitting him and he just leans into the hug. He would bury his face into your shoulder and let out the most content sigh. Love, security, and warmth are all things he can find in your arms. Jason would love it if you held him before he fell asleep. His face would be pressed against your chest as he listens to your heartbeat. The rhythm of your heartbeat would help him fall asleep because it's just comforting to know that your still there. He relaxes as soon as you brush your fingers through his hair. Or even hearing you talk is enough to make him unwind.

There's something so sweet about Jason letting himself be held idk what it is

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

You know what I realized. We saw what would have happened if Vil successfully poisoned Neige in Chapter 5. What if for future updates we see a future where Leona sanded Ruggie and trampled Malleus and where Riddle actually killed Ace with the rose trees? Jamil and Azul wouldn’t have blood on their hands though they’d just be ruling over Scarabia and a magic and skill thief.

THE WAY MY JAW DROPPED WHEN I SAW THAT NEIGE HAD FLATLINED 😭 That was honestly one of the scariest parts of book 7 for me so far. Knowing that Vil was driven into a corner to the point where he fully intended to KILL his rival to come out on top with a cheap, hollow victory... It's so gut-wrenching (and incredibly delicious at the same time) 💦

I'm so anxious about what kinds of scenes we'll see for the other OB boys now... Azul may not have gone for anyone's jugular, but Leona and Riddle may have some dark implications or casualties by way of Malleus/Ruggie and Ace, respectively. (The only "good" thing about that is that if Malleus is "dead" in Leona's dream, then that means Malleus can't be physically present as an obstacle to the crew). Also?????? The dorm leaders seem to be woken last within their dorm, meaning by the time we reach Riddle, we'll have Ace "awake" and recruited to our group. KINDA FUCKED THINKING ABOUT HOW ACE MIGHT BE WATCHING AN ALTERNATE VERSION OF HIMSELF DYING IN THE ROSE GARDEN... Leona killing Ruggie is so twisted too????? That would surely fuck with Leona's mental health.... There's always been fan theories about how Leona would have reacted if he actually did sand Ruggie (I've speculated about the idea myself), so it would be so cool to see this realized in the darkest depths of Leona's dream. I'd love to see how he canonically handles it.

I think there's also potential that Jamil might kill Kalim? Since he has a line where he says as long as Kalim as "alive", he will never know peace. I don't know if Jamil had intent to do away with Kalim in book 4, but this could be very real in the darkest parts of his own dream.

[wholoveseggs]

Hello. Was wondering if you’d be willing to write about a dom Elijah with a reader who’s just being an absolute brat and he’s over it please?

Cat and Mouse

18+ ---- {Masterlist} {Tag-List}

It's your anniversary party, but you are terribly bored, and the one person you actually want to be around isn't playing fair.

♡♡ Thanks for the request anon(s) This was a blast to write, dom Elijah makes me feral too ♡♡

5.3k words - Warnings: smutttt, Elijah being playful, dom!Elijah, rough sex, anal sex, choking, hair pulling, Elijah using his tie as a leash, oral sex, and a game of hide & seek....

Elijah was a gentleman in the most basic sense of the word; his smile was disarming, his words were polite, and his eyes were soft and caring. And, for the most part, that was true.

And to the untrained eye, it looked as though Elijah was simply guiding you to a quiet corner, hand placed lightly on the small of your back, a gentle smile on his face, and a sparkle in his eyes.

But once you were alone, it was very clear Elijah was not going to be as kind as he was making himself out to be. You had been misbehaving, and he was about to give you a reminder of exactly what happened when you did.

You were going to pay dearly for what you had been doing. And it was all because you were bored.

You had spent the last twenty minutes trying to get Elijah to notice you, and you had been failing at it miserably.

The party was his idea, and you didn't care much for them. But, like everything else, Elijah was very convincing and got you to agree. You were now regretting that.

It was your anniversary, and while you were happy to be with Elijah, you hated parties, especially ones where you were the guest of honor.

Elijah had made sure every last detail was taken care of, and he was determined that everyone had a great time, and that included you. So when he caught you rolling your eyes, or looking bored, he was quick to correct you.

You only wanted one thing out of this special day, and it wasn't something you could do in the middle of the crowded ballroom.

So, after yet another failed attempt at getting him to pay attention to you, you decided to do the only thing you could think of.

You would start annoying him.

So far, the only person you'd managed to annoy was yourself. You hadn't even made Elijah blink.

So you decided to start small. You started with little things.

You would pretend to affectionately adjust his tie, but leave it in a way that you knew would irritate him. He didn't even acknowledge it.

When he pulled you on to the dancefloor, you would purposefully step on his toes, scuffing up his perfectly polished shoes. He just chuckled softly and held you tighter, but still didn't say anything.

After that, you got a little more desperate.

You were standing beside him, trying to talk to one of the other guests, but you had no idea what they were talking about, and you didn't really care. Your hand wandered from his side, down to his hip, then further down to his ass. You gave it a little squeeze.

Elijah didn't even flinch.

He kept talking like nothing had happened, and you had no idea if you had managed to piss him off, or not.

That was until he excused the two of you and guided you away from the ballroom, his hand firm on your back, his smile gone, and his eyes dark and serious.

"Do you think you're funny?" Elijah asked, his voice low.

"Yes," you replied.

His hand was still light on the small of your back, but his fingers were pressing into your spine, forcing you to stand straight. His smile was still pleasant, but his lips were tight and his jaw was set.

You were in a quiet corridor, out of earshot of the other guests. He backed you up against the wall, his hands on your hips, holding you firmly in place.

"You have been acting out." His voice was still calm, but his tone was sharper, and you winced at his words. "You've been defiant, and rude, and you disobeyed me, and I'm beginning to suspect it's a deliberate choice."

He was right, it was deliberate, you wanted to piss him off, make him react. You liked pushing his buttons, but he was always so controlled, it was getting harder and harder to get a reaction from him.

You had this secret fantasy, to get Elijah so riled up that he would lose his cool and fuck you like an animal. To fight, and struggle, and have him pin you down, and take what was his. You had always felt safe with Elijah, he is your loving husband, he would never hurt you, but sometimes, when you were in the mood, you wanted to play rough.

And when you saw him in his perfectly tailored tux, you couldn't get the image out of your head. You needed it, so badly. You couldn't wait anymore, you were sick of him being so polite, composed, and controlled.

You wanted him to be rough, aggressive, and dominant. You wanted him to hold you down and have his way with you. You had discussed this fantasy with him before, and he'd been... not dismissive, per se, but not willing to fulfill it. He'd explained why, he was afraid he would hurt you. But you were no delicate flower; you were a vampire like him, and you could take a rough fucking.

"Yes, and?" You replied defiantly.

His eyebrows arched slightly and a slow smile spread across his face.

"Since you want to act like a child and play games, let's play one," His voice was steady and smooth, but the fire was in his eyes, and a thrill ran through your body. "You will run and hide, and I will come and find you, and when I catch you..." he leaned in, his mouth next to your ear, his breath hot on your skin, "I will have my way with you."

Your mouth went dry, and you could feel your heart pounding. You licked your lips.

"What do I get when I win?" You asked, your voice trembling slightly.

"You won't," Elijah said matter-of-factly.

You stared at him for a moment, waiting for the inevitable 'but,' but it never came. You didn't have a chance of winning. He was faster and stronger than you, and you both knew it.

"3...2...1." His voice was soft and playful, and then you heard the sound of his feet as he rushed off.

You spun around and tried to catch him, but he was gone, and all you could see was a blur. You began to run, your heels clicking on the hardwood floor as you hurried through the compound.

You sped all the way back to the party, stopping suddenly when you entered the ballroom, your chest heaving as you tried to catch your breath. You quickly fixed your dress and looked around. There was no sign of Elijah, and you breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe he wasn't following you, maybe he was giving you a chance.

As you looked around the room, searching for a place that you could use to your advantage, you felt his warm hand on the small of your back. He pulled you against him, his hand sliding up and caressing the nape of your neck, his fingers threading through your hair.

"Behind you," he whispered, his lips brushing against your ear, his other hand sliding around your waist. He pulled you flush against him, his hands roaming over your curves.

You pulled away from him and spun around but he had vanished. He was faster than you, his movements quicker, and you struggled to track him.

It was equally infuriating and arousing how he teased you, playing a cat and mouse game. He was having fun, and it made you want him even more.

The crowd of guests parted and you saw him, leaning against the far wall, a glass of champagne in his hand, his gaze fixed on you. You stared at him, daring him to approach you, but he didn't move. He was just grinning, his eyes sparkling as the music changed, and Elijah moved.

You watched him walk toward you, his steps confident, his shoulders squared, and a wicked smirk on his face. Then he was suddenly gone, and you gasped.

You searched the crowd frantically, but he was nowhere to be seen. He had disappeared again, and you knew it was futile to search for him. You knew he was watching, enjoying the chase.

"Just admit defeat and I'll go easy on you," his voice was a seductive whisper in your ear. You didn't know how he did that, and it sent a chill down your spine.

You swallowed hard, and looked around. He wasn't there, but you could still hear his voice, feel his breath on your skin.

"Or perhaps you want me to chase you, to hunt you down, and fuck you in front of all these people," he chuckled, and your face flushed, and your pulse quickened. "Maybe that's what you've been trying to accomplish."

"You think too highly of yourself," you retorted, hoping your voice sounded calmer than you felt.

"You look like you're talking to yourself in the middle of the ballroom," Elijah's voice was smooth, and he sounded like he was right behind you. You spun around, but he wasn't there. "You should be careful, or someone might think you're crazy."

You were growing tired of the chase; of Elijah's smugness. You were frustrated, and horny, and you were starting to hate him a little. You headed towards the stairs, deciding that you were going to lure him to a more private setting.

Just then you heard the sound of tapping against champagne flutes. Elijah was making his way to the stage, a microphone in his hand. He looked perfect, standing tall and proud, his smile wide and dazzling. You felt your heart race. You stood there, frozen, as Elijah addressed the guests.

"It's time for my wife and I to make a toast," he said, his voice deep and resonating. He looked at you, gesturing you to come to the stage. You felt everyone's eyes on you and you had no choice but to follow. He wrapped his arm around your waist, his hand resting on your hip. 

"When I first met my wife," he said, his eyes focused on you, "I knew right away that she was the one." He smiled down at you, and you smiled back, a blush spreading across your cheeks. He pulled you closer, his fingers digging into your flesh. "She is the most beautiful, intelligent, and strong woman I have ever met. And now, after all this time, I'm more in love with her than I ever thought possible." He was looking deep into your eyes, and you felt your knees go weak. He pressed a gentle kiss on your lips, and you melted into him. "Happy anniversary my love,"

The crowd cheered and clapped, and the band started playing again. Elijah kissed your cheek, then whispered in your ear, "We're not done playing yet. Go and hide, and don't let me find you." His voice was a growl and his lips were hot on your ear. You pulled away and stared at him, your heart racing, and you saw a glint in his eye. He was still playing with you, and you were ready for him. You rushed off, and Elijah was once again chasing you.

You managed to make it to the top of the stairs, looking around frantically, trying to decide which way to go. You could feel his eyes on you, and it was making it difficult for you to focus.

You decided to turn left, and headed down the hall. As you turned the corner, you saw Elijah standing at the end of the hall, by the window, looking out. He turned and looked at you and you bolted in the other direction.

You heard him chuckle softly as you ran, and he followed close behind. You almost made it to the landing, but his strong arm snaked around your waist and hauled you backwards, you let out a squeak as he threw you over his shoulder and carried you down the hall.

"Let go of me," you demanded, trying to struggle out of his grasp.

He kicked open the door to the nearest bedroom, and stepped inside, kicking the door shut behind him.

"Behave," he ordered, throwing you on the bed.

You glared at him, and sat up, you were not going to give in, not yet. He pushed you back down with one hand, the other undoing his tie and sliding it off.

The vision of him, his hair messy and his eyes wild, his jaw clenched, his hands working at the buttons of his shirt, was one that would be burned into your memory forever. It was the most erotic thing you had ever seen, and you couldn't take your eyes off him.

He smiled, and slid his shirt off, and then undid his belt, pulling it free. He tossed it aside, and his hands went to the button and zipper of his pants.

"Take off your dress," he ordered.

"No."

He smirked, and grabbed the fabric in the center of the dress, and yanked. It ripped apart easily, and he tossed the ruined garment aside.

"It wasn't a request," he growled, pushing his pants down, and stepping out of them.

He grabbed your thighs, and yanked them apart, and crawled up on the bed between them. His hands moved up to your waist, and he pulled you closer, his lips crashing against yours.

You melted under him, and his tongue parted your lips, seeking yours. You moaned as he kissed you, and you could feel his hard cock pressed against you.

"You have been so naughty," he murmured, pulling away, and looking down at you. "And I have been patient, I've given you plenty of chances to stop, and now you've reached your last warning."

He pulled back, and his hand came up to cup your face.

"Be a good girl and apologize," he purred.

"Fuck off." You replied defiantly.

He growled and pulled you up, flipping you over and yanking your hips up, his fangs sunk into your ass, making you cry out.

"Say you're sorry," he growled, licking the bite.

"Never," you hissed, pushing back against him.

"You are such a brat," he chuckled, grabbing your hair and pulling it, making you arch your back.

He grabbed his tie, wrapping it around your neck and using it as a leash, pulling you back against him, his hand reaching down to your panties. His fingers gently rubbing over the wet fabric, a stark contrast to his rough grip on your neck.

"These are a little wet, my love," he teased, sliding a finger underneath the material, and running it along your slit.

"Shut up." You hissed, your legs shaking, and your pussy aching.

"What was that?" He growled, pulling the tie tighter, forcing your head back so it was resting on his chest. He looked down at your desperate expression, your cheeks flushed and your lips swollen, and licked his lips.

He pushed you back down onto the bed, pressing your face into the mattress, and slid the panties off, tossing them aside. He let out a low, satisfied moan, as he got a view of your perfect, dripping cunt.

"Looks like I've found the perfect punishment," he purred, sliding his hands over your ass, squeezing the flesh.

He reached over to the nightstand and opened the drawer, pulling out a bottle of lube. Then he flipped you over onto your back, and pulled you to the edge of the bed, and spread your legs, exposing your glistening pussy.

"You can beg all you want," he said, spreading the lube over his fingers. "But until I think you're sincere, I won't fuck your pretty little pussy."

"I hate you," you spat, as his fingers slid over your ass, coating it with lube.

"I love you, too," he replied, a wicked smile spreading across his face.

He pushed one finger into your tight asshole, making you gasp.

"Hmm, when was the last time I fucked this hole?" He asked, slowly pumping his finger in and out. "Must have been a few months ago, it's very tight."

"Please," you whimpered, as his fingers stretched your hole.

"You'll have to do better than that, darling," he purred, adding another finger, stretching your hole further. His hand came down hard and smacked your thigh, leaving a red handprint behind.

"Fuck you," you growled.

He chuckled, and pulled his fingers out, and lubed up his cock, stroking it.

"Oh, I plan on it."

He leaned down, and pushed the head of his cock into your ass, and then stopped, a smug smile on his face.

"This is what you wanted, isn't it?" He said, his voice low and dangerous. "You wanted me to lose control, to fuck you like an animal."

You tried to wriggle free, but he had you pinned. He was stronger than you, and he knew it. He grabbed your throat and squeezed, cutting off your air.

"Well, here we are." He growled, pushing his cock deeper into your ass, until his balls were pressed against your skin.

He wound the tie around his fist, pulling it towards him, and used it as a leash, dragging your neck upwards, forcing you to look at where you were connected. His other hand reached down, and rubbed your clit, his thumb swirling around it.

"Please," you moaned, and his hand came down again, and smacked your pussy.

"What was that, darling?" He teased, his fingers rubbing circles around your clit, as his cock twitched in your ass.

"Please fuck me, I need you," you whimpered, your pussy throbbing.

He began to move his hips, the muscles in his stomach tensing as he pounded your ass.

"Such a good girl," he moaned, his hand coming up and smacking your face. "You're being such a good little whore, taking my cock in your ass."

You opened your mouth to say something, but his fingers slid into your mouth, causing you to gag and choke.

"Don't worry, I'm going to fuck that pretty little pussy soon," he moaned, his pace quickening, as his hips slapped against yours. "I could never deny my wife such pleasure."

He pulled his fingers from your mouth, and slid his hand down your body, his fingers dancing over your skin, and then slipping inside your cunt.

"Such a beautiful pussy." His voice was thick, and he licked his lips. "And it's all mine."

He was completely in control, and he was enjoying every second of it. The look on his face made you ache. He was so beautiful, and powerful and you loved it. Your whole world narrowed to the sensations his skilled fingers and his thick cock were drawing out of you.

He pulled on the tie, restricting your breathing, and the feeling sent a surge of arousal straight to your core. He pushed his fingers deep inside you and rubbed his palm against your clit, and you writhed beneath him, moaning and gasping. Elijah watched your every expression, pushing you right up to the edge of release and then he pulled away, leaving you glaring up at him in frustration.

"If you behaved tonight, I would let you cum," He cooed, before releasing the tie and sitting on the bed, leaning back against the headboard, watching you with amusement.

"Now you will have to wait for my permission," He smirked. "Come and ride your husband's cock."

You glared at him, but obediently did what you were told, you were too pent up to not accept the compromise. You crawled up the bed, and straddled him. Elijah looked up at you with a smile, his dark eyes sparkling, the lines around his eyes deepening. His arms came around you and slid up your back as he kissed you, teasing your mouth with his tongue. You relaxed into him, and returned his passion, but he caught your hands before you could put them to good use. 

"Turn around, my love. I want you to sit on my cock with that pretty ass of yours." He commanded.

You swallowed and nodded. You rotated yourself, placing your knees either side of his thighs, and rose up onto your knees. His large hands went to your ass, kneading the plump flesh, and spreading it wide. You lowered yourself carefully, moaning as his cock eased into your pussy. You sank all the way down, until your thighs were touching his, your soft rear pressed against his body. 

Elijah groaned and his fingers dug in. You placed your hands on his thighs and began to rock your hips, sliding up and down his length, the friction sending waves of pleasure through your body. His cock filled you up perfectly, and you were soon riding him fast, desperately chasing the orgasm that he had denied you.

He watched the way you bounced, the way your ass cheeks jiggled, the way your wetness coated his cock, the way your body reacted to him. He was hypnotized, his eyes glued to your every movement. It was in these moments he couldn't believe you were actually his wife, that this wasn't a dream. He saw how much you wanted and needed him and it thrilled him beyond words.

It wasn't just the sex. It was the way you'd react to little things. How you would blush at even the smallest gestures, the way you gasped when his fingertips would graze the small of your back as he leaned in close, or the soft little moans you would make when he kissed and touched you, it made his heart ache with love and desire.

You were his drug and he was hopelessly addicted, the chase, the hunt, the thrill was not just pleasurable, it was sustenance. Every time he took you it made him a stronger, more confident, more capable man. And when you would moan his name? He was lost. Utterly lost.

His tie was still hanging off your neck, the fabric moving back and forth against your back with each movement. His fingers danced up your spine and he wrapped the tie around his fist and used it to pull you against his chest.

"Aren't you forgetting something," He grinned, licking the shell of your ear, making you shiver. "Don't I deserve an apology for your behavior from earlier?"

"Not a fucking chance," you hissed, and tried pull away but he pulled tighter and pushed deeper.

"Wrong answer." He chuckled darkly, letting go of the tie and pushing you forward with such force your hands came off his thighs and pressed into the bed, stopping yourself from falling face-first into the sheets. You looked back at him with a glare, but he just laughed and shook his head. His strong hands dug into your hips, and he began to thrust his hips hard, the smacks of his skin against yours echoing in the large bedroom. You reached back, needing to touch him, to get some purchase but he wasn't having it.

He could see that you were panting, trying desperately to stay afloat in the ocean of ecstasy he was drowning you in. But the real reward was listening to the desperate sounds escaping your mouth. You loved this, you wanted him to be rough with you and he decided to take it a step further.

Elijah let go of your hips and you immediately got off his lap and started to climb up the bed to escape but his reflexes were far better than yours. He yanked you back by your thighs and you kicked your legs to get free but that only served to egg him on. 

"I've told you to behave." He warned in a low, seductive voice.

You felt the pull of his tie again, and he yanked you backwards, positioning you so that you were on all fours. You gasped as he pushed your knees together, then he slammed his cock inside you, the angle hitting a spot that made you see stars, his other hand wrapping the tie around his fist. He used the leverage to pound into you, the bed slamming against the wall, and the sounds of his groans making you clench around him.

"Elijah," you moaned his name, your hands fisting the sheets, you were almost there, you were so close to sweet release.

You knew this game very well and you played along perfectly, whimpering and mewling as his cock stroked every inch of you. Your sweet sounds fueling him as he continued to ravage your soft cunt. 

"Such an insufferable tease." He groaned. He let go of the tie and tangled his fingers in your hair, pushing your head down into the mattress.

He was completely lost in the moment, his control completely shattered. Your words, and actions, had snapped the reins, and he was letting himself go, to his deepest, most primal, instincts. He gave your hair a hard tug, the way you liked, and your back arched involuntarily, causing him to pound into you even harder.

"That's right, beautiful wife," he cooed. "You're going to cum for me, aren't you?"

You nodded, unable to form any words, your brain overwhelmed by the sensations. You could hardly breathe, your mind a clouded mess. He pulled you up, holding you by the jaw and pressing his fingers into your mouth, making you gag.

"Beg me," he snarled. "Beg me to let you cum."

You tried to form the words, but he was holding you so tightly, his cock thrusting into you so roughly, that all you could do was moan. Your eyes rolled back in your head, drool dribbling out of your mouth, the sounds of your garbled speech muffled by his fingers.

"That's it," he whispered, his lips against the shell of your ear.

"Cum for me, sweetheart."

His voice broke through the fog, and the moment his permission was given, you felt your body convulse, the intense pleasure coursing through your veins, sending you into an orgasm that was so powerful it made your limbs go numb. You collapsed forward, but Elijah held you upright. Your muscles had given out, the pleasure was so overwhelming that you couldn't even muster the energy to keep yourself propped up. All you could do was moan softly and let him continue to fuck you senseless.

He pulled his hand away from your mouth and grabbed your hips, pulling them back into his thrusts, using your spent body for his own pleasure. He was close, his movements becoming erratic, his hips snapping, his nails digging into your skin.

He let out a long, low, groan as his cock throbbed, filling you with his warm cum. He thrust a few more times, emptying himself inside you, and then slowly pulled out, letting you fall on to the bed. 

He leaned over you, gently removing the tie and kissing along your spine, his hands softly rubbing the marks he had left on your body.

"Are you okay?" He asked, his tone soft.

"I'm ok" you sighed. "But my ass is not happy with you."

Elijah chucked and propped your hips up a little, licking a stripe from the cleft of your ass, all the way up to the back of your neck. You shivered, goosebumps erupting on your skin, you felt his hands on your hips and he quickly turned you over, making you squeak in surprise.

He kissed his way down your body, stopping to worship each of your breasts, and then moving down to your pussy. He spread your legs and ran his tongue over your slit, collecting his own cum that had begun to trickle out of you.

"Eli," you whined.

He hummed in response, and his tongue pushed deeper, lapping at your cunt, swirling around your sensitive clit. He was being gentle, his tongue teasing, his fingers rubbing soft circles into the skin of your hips.

You were perfect, his angel, his darling, his beautiful wife, and he had been so rough with you, he couldn't help but try and make up for it. He knew that you could take him, that you loved the rough sex as much as he did, but still, he always felt bad afterwards.

He could never stay rough for too long and tended to give into your soft whining, caresses and sweet kisses. It was why you were his wife, no one had the sort of power over him the way you did, and you both knew it. And there was truly nowhere else he would rather be, then between your legs.

He loved the feeling of your hands tugging on his hair, the way your thighs shook around his head, the way you clenched around his tongue, the sounds of your soft moans and whimpers. It was music to his ears, and he couldn't get enough of it.

"We taste like a dream," he murmured, licking his lips.

You chuckled, and then gasped when his tongue flicked over your clit, making your legs spasm.

"So sensitive," he purred, and then sucked the little bud between his lips, his fingers digging into your skin.

He could feel the pull of your hand, and he lifted his head, his eyes meeting yours, the pupils blown wide. He crawled over your body, and lowered his lips to yours, kissing you deeply.

You moaned softly, tasting the two of you together, and he groaned in response, his fingers tangling in your hair, pulling at the strands.

"That's what we taste like, baby," he growled, his tongue plunging into your mouth. His lips wet and messy, his hands roaming over your body, his hips grinding against yours.

"It's so good, isn't it?"

"Yes," you gasped.

"I love it when you're covered in my cum," he murmured, his lips ghosting over your collarbone. "When your pretty little pussy is full of me, when I can smell myself all over you."

You bit your bottom lip, and let your eyes slide closed, taking in the scent of his skin, the feel of his lips, the way he was rocking against you. He was teasing you, and you wanted it, you wanted his cock to stretch and fill you again and again until you were delirious with pleasure. You'd never known someone who could turn you into this wreck so completely and efficiently, but here you were again.

"Stop talking," you whimpered, grabbing hold of his hair.

"Sorry baby." He mumbled against your throat, leaving open mouth kisses along your skin. "Are you ready for me to fuck you again, my gorgeous wife."

"Yes, fuck yes.." You moaned as you lifted your hips and wrapped your legs around him. He slowly pushed his cock back into your pussy, watching as you arched and moaned under him.

"Do you think I can fuck you till dawn?" He purred, pressing soft kisses against your neck. "You'd like that, wouldn't you baby, to be filled up all night?"

You hummed in response and he slowed down a bit, giving you deep, long slow strokes, taking his time, and enjoying the feeling of your tight pussy wrapped around him. He loved watching you come undone, to hear the moans and whimpers of delight fall from your lips, to know that it was because of him and only him.

This time he would make love to his wife, for however long she wanted, until morning if necessary. Because how could he not? When every look, every breath and every sound was the manifestation of a desperate plea, how was a husband to deny such a desire from a woman as beautiful, as delicate and yet as stubborn and as irresistible as you.

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[endiness]

okay, i have gone through probably 50+ s2 interviews of hc researching this so far and i have to say that at this point i really don't see how he wasn't deliberately trying to manipulate the fanbase and the media against the writers and the show to get them onto his side. (and also, like, a very specific, extremely toxic section of the fandom at that.) (it's the sexist incel gamerbros. i'm talking about them.)

"I wanted to represent as much of a book-accurate Geralt as possible and a lot of the fans did as well, and so I campaigned really hard to make sure that he was more verbose, he sounded more intellectual, his choice of words was more thought out and that his approach to Cirilla and everyone else wasn’t antagonistic. Because it initially came across as he was just grumpy all the time with everyone and everything and I really wanted to show this three-dimensional character […] It’s gonna be tough to do the stuff which is as brilliant as Sapkowski’s writing, but it’s something I’m always gonna campaign for and it’s hopefully fit into the vision of the show."

there are so many interviews (ie virtually every interview out of 50+ with the exception of maybe, like, 3) where hc says the exact same thing about how he just cares so much about book accuracy, specifically where geralt's characterization is concerned, and that he really started to push for a more book accurate geralt in s2 and wanted him to be more verbose and intelligent and show that he isn't just a one dimensional character who just grunts and says hmm all the time like in s1 — and at no point does he ever take any responsibility for how that was due to his acting choices in the first place because he would cut his lines.

he also just straight up lies about the situation because the writers originally wrote geralt as being more verbose and book accurate in s1 but then changed the way they were writing him due to the acting choices he made. and yet he acts like that was never the case and that geralt was never originally written that way and he pushes this idea that a book accurate geralt went against lauren's vision. even though, once again, that was the original vision and it only changed due to him.

and on the extremely rare occasion (i'm talking, like, maybe 2 con panels here) that he ever takes any kind of responsibility for his role in all of that, he still waffles about and tries to present this image that he wasn't really cutting that many lines and they weren't really that important anyway and it didn't really matter:

"I didn't even cut that much. Just little bits when someone says how they feel, I thought if Geralt says nothing, and maybe the well-known grunts or hmms and sometimes the occasional f-word, people can take from that what they will."

even though that can't be true as confirmed by joey:

"Henry likes to cut his lines, 'cause he's lazy. No, he literally just likes to cut them. He likes to do more up here [frames his face with his hands] and just with face and hmms and grunts. There's a lot of hmms, and so I often have to take a lot of his lines and turn it into a lot of my stuff so that the plot happens."

and even hc himself confirms this and what joey said in a s1 interview:

"All the grunts, I either added or I didn't say anything and just grunted instead. It was often up to the other actors to go, 'I think he's not gonna say anything now.'"

i also have to point out that hc directly links his push for a more book accurate geralt to reading comments on reddit as i think that's very relevant to what section of the fandom exactly that he's pandering to and why he's been so vocal about it while lying about the role he played in everything and what actually happened:

"I’m on all the Reddit forums. I’m reading all the reviews. I’m literally trying to get everyone’s information. Some of it is not useful, and other criticisms are incredibly useful. I take it all in, and I look forward to bringing it even closer and closer to Sapkowski’s writing. I think any of those criticisms, they often lie in things like I was saying—we don’t have the advantage of a long involved conversation or dialogue with Geralt, so they are criticisms which I think I was prepared for. So for me, it’s about seeing that, understanding it, and working out how I can do my job better within the framework provided, [how to] appease and make those people feel comfortable that I do actually understand this character—and love this character just as much as they do."

"As a source for information, it's really helpful for me to see what everyone's saying, what everyone's thinking, and to see how much my thinking falls in line with whichever side of that spectrum it is and whether I'm doing the wrong thing, for example, by campaigning hard for the book Geralt to exist or whether I'm doing the right thing."

and just another important thing to point out imo: virtually the only times hc ever takes any responsibility in any capacity whatsoever for his own role in the show not adhering to the books (which even then he barely does and it's still always with a lot of excuses), it's only ever at con panels — which are far less likely to get picked up by news outlets and seen by a broader audience — and not in formal interview settings. (except for, i think, one interview he gave early on when s2 first went on hiatus. but even then, it still has the same problems that the con panels have where he comes up with a lot of excuses that don't match what happened.)

then there's an interview hc gave where he went on about how he added some book dialogue into a scene and he made it out to be like it was some kind of rebellion against the writers and he didn't consult them as he was just going to do what he wanted, consequences be damned:

"I did not feel like having long discussion about whether I could add this bit somewhere. So I just did it, said the words in front of the camera, and was ready to face the consequences."

and meanwhile what actually happened was that lauren eventually let hc have free reign and rewrite a scene that he was unhappy with. which, y'know. kinda fucking weird to present what happened in the way he did.

and then there's him pushing this narrative that the female characters — namely yennefer and ciri — were given more depth and focus than geralt and the male characters as if that came at their expense and all of which is somehow due to lauren's women-centric vision of the show as if that's somehow opposed to how the books themselves are:

"On season two, I wanted to bring as much of 'Book' Geralt into the show that Lauren's vision and that the plot would allow. That's a tricky thing to do, because the plot, as Lauren has said, is very centred around bringing women into the centre of The Witcher."

"In Season 1, there wasn't really much of an opportunity for expansive dialogue which Geralt is known for — in the books, he's often known to monologue — because we had two original origin stories which were the center point of the show."

"Lauren’s vision was more of an ensemble piece than the first Witcher books. It’s driven a lot more by the characters of Yennefer and Cirilla."

"I wanted to make sure we really explored as much as showrunner's vision could allow. She has her own plan, so I’ve got to toe that line between book Geralt and Lauren’s vision."

"I wanted to try and bring as much of the book’s Geralt into Season 2 as possible, and as much as the vision, the plot and storylines would allow. The toughest part for me was finding that balance between the showrunners’ vision and my love for the books, and trying to bring that Geralt to the showrunners’ vision."

"It’s important for me to have the character be three-dimensional and it’s tricky to do, as I was saying earlier, because there’s a certain vision and there’s a certain set, storyline and plot. And so, it was about me trying to find Geralt’s place within that."

"There’s only so much space to provide the same character from the books within the showrunner’s vision. But, I did my best to provide a bit more of a three-dimensional character with a bit more emotionality."

"It's important to me that the men in the story are three dimensional as well."

like, first off — and not to continually reiterate this but — that's not true. in s1, geralt was originally written as being just as verbose and intellectual as he was in the books and that only changed due to hc cutting his lines and we know that joey often had to take his lines, too. so there was, in fact, always plenty of time for geralt to be book accurate and for yennefer and ciri to have their own focus. these things were never mutually exclusive and it's definitely some kinda take to imply otherwise.

secondly, while it is true that geralt is the main character of the short stories, ciri is the main character of the main series starting from blood of elves, the book that s2 adapted. and despite claims otherwise, her pov has always had the most focus — yes, even more than geralt (sans baptism of fire, obvs.) and it's not like ciri is the only female pov, either, or that there aren't other important female characters that make up the series. there's yennefer, triss, milva, philippa, fringilla, nimue, condwiramurs, kenna — and that's just off the top of my head. there are plenty more where that came from. women and their stories have always played a central role in the books. nothing about that goes against them or is unique to lauren's vision.

and just with boe in particular, like. triss's pov is either focused on more than geralt's or at least about as much as his depending on how you want to break things down. and with dandelion following very close behind them, too! like, ciri may be the main character of the main series and geralt may be the main character of the short stories and their povs are the most focused on overall, but the books are still very much an ensemble piece made up of a collage of many, many povs to paint a full picture of the universe. and, yeah, the women make up a huge part of that. so the show focusing on ciri and yennefer and the women — and, yes, the men as well because it does actually do that! — is um, still book accurate. so y'know, why the fuck is he presenting this idea that's somehow not the case.

in general, hc emphasizes in a lot of interviews how much he fought for "male characters to be three dimensional." which yeah, given the context of everything else, is some suspicious kinda phrasing because it gives this undertone that the show wasn't writing three dimensional male characters in the first place as opposed to the women and that it's only due to his efforts that anything changed.

also, i have to highlight this quote of him talking about the three dimensionality of men because ~curious that he omits women from the list of people real menTM can be loving and caring toward:

"I believe that real men are very sensitive. They are very capable of doing things which can be violent, if possible, or necessary. But at the same time, they are incredibly capable of love and caring amongst men and towards children and family and all sorts."

and then there's the way hc talks about changing things which comes across as so suspicious, too, imo. especially when there is every other cast member to compare him to. because the way the rest of the cast has talked about this is that they all very consistently say that the whole process is very collaborative and that lauren is very much willing to hear them out about their thoughts and concerns and that it really feels like a team effort and that everyone is working together. and meanwhile the vibes that hc gives off is either "me vs the world (ie the writers)" or "but there's nothing that i can really do to change anything and it's all on the writers~" either way, his attitude very much comes off like all bad decisions are the writers' fault but meanwhile any good decision was due to him and him alone (or maybe the rest of the cast, but definitely not the writers.) like, weird af to play it off that way especially since every other cast member didn't seem to have any problems and they all gave credit where credit was due ie to lauren and the writers.

in conclusion, it'd be one thing if hc had just taken the l and admitted that he is the one who fucked up geralt's characterization in s1 and so he sought to rectify that in s2. but yeah, he doesn't really do that. instead he lies over, like, 50 times to create this narrative of him pushing for book accuracy as if that's somehow in opposition to lauren and the writers and as if they didn't originally write geralt book accurately in the first place and as if he played no role in the lack of book accuracy at all. and then that there's also him pushing this subtle (or not so subtle) narrative about how the women were taking a more central role as opposed to the men and that's somehow unlike the books and something purely due to lauren's vision, too? even though women have always played a central role in the books to the point where ciri is the main character of the main series? and that he's directly linked this narrative he's pushing to reading comments on reddit? (and that he also has a history, since s1, of trying to cater to game stans?) yeah, i just don't see how this doesn't add up to him trying to manipulate the media and audience — especially the worst parts of the fanbase — against the writers and the show and onto his side.

(also just one last thing i'd like to note as i find it super weird that when hc was asked about giving freya any advice, he immediately shut down the notion that he would ever do anything like that and he would never offer her any unsolicited advice and he would only ever give her any if she came to him first. like, there are literally s1 and s2 interviews where freya talks about hc giving her advice. i mean, maybe she did come to him in the first place, idk. but the immediacy in which he shut down the idea that he would ever do anything like that as if offering someone younger than you advice and being a mentor to them is wrong… weird. sus, even. like, why are you scrambling to cover your ass for something that's not even bad and, also, why are you lying about it by omission in the very least.)

[quasi-normalcy]

I know I say that modern Star Trek hasn't really introduced very many original villains, but that's not quite fair., So...

Comprehensive list of new villains offered by modern Star Trek (post 2017)

BA'UL

Why They're villains: They oppressed the Kelpiens on Kaminar for thousands of years and lied about their origins. Pros: Notably creepy design, and notably creepy technology Cons: They can't really be used as recurring villains because the Kelpiens overthrew them at the end of the episode; 900 years later, they'd become allies.

CONTROL(technically borrowed from the novels, but whatever):

Why They're Villains: Did that standard basic bitch evil computer move where they tried to wipe out all organic life in the galaxy. Pros: Um...at least the writers got it out of the way so that they couldn't make that particular aspect of the novelverse canon.

Cons:

CONTROL sucks.

Seriously, at their best, they're just like...Diet Borg. Fuck CONTROL.

Can't come back because Emperor Georgiou murdered it up but good, yum yum. Not that you would want it to.

HIGHER SYNTHETICS:

Why They're Villains: "Just ring us up and we'll come kill all organic life in your galaxy", lol.

Pros:

Tentacular

Introduces some cosmic horror to the Star Trek universe.

Cons:

Kind of a generic doomsday villain.

Too powerful to really use them again.

GELRAKIANS:

Why They're Villains: Turn hostile if you show them wood.

Pros: Umm...

Cons:

Completely obsessed with crystals

Not really prime "recurring villain" material

DROOKMANI:

Why They're Villains: Extremely territorial about their salvage.

Pros: So far, they're the first villains on this list who have actually been recurring

Cons: They don't really seem like a threat to any ship more powerful than California class.

BADGEY:

Pros: "I will burn! Your heart! In a fiiiiiiiire!"

Why He's a Villain: Daddy issues.

Cons:

Kind of a one-note joke.

Ascended to a higher plane of existence so he can't be come back.

AGIMUS & PEANUT HAMPER:

Why They're Villains: He's a tyrannical supercomputer! She's just kind of a bitchy robot! Together they're...legitimately just making each other into better people?

Pros: They're kind of adorable?

Cons:

They're not really villains anymore

Peanut Hamper shouldn't even be on this list since Exocomps were from TNG.

SPECIES 10-C:

Why They're Villains: Gravitationally dredging the Milky Way for dark matter.

Pros:

Kind of a cool concept

Not a type of alien that Star Trek has really done before.

Cons:

Not really villains.

Extremely unlikely to recur.

TRANSWARP CONDUIT ALIENS:

Cons:

Why They're Villains: They, uh, opened up a big-ass transwarp conduit in the middle of Federation space for some reason.

Pros: Umm. They gave Agnes something to do in the finale.

Blatantly just created at the last minute to justify the presence of the Borg at the beginning of the season.

By the writers' own admission, they never had any actual intent to follow up on them, even though they really ought to.

They're a complete blank slate; even more so than the Higher Synthetics. Who are they? Dunno. What do they want? Dunno.

Honestly I don't even care about them, I just want to see more Jurati-Borg

VAU N'AKAT

Why They're Villains: They blame the Federation for destroying their planet in the future.

Pros:

It's nice to actually have an original alien species as arc villains for a change

I like the aesthetics of their technology

John Noble and Jameela Jamil both have really pleasant voices; like, I could listen to them all day

Space Goths

Drednok

Cons:

There's only, like, a hundred of them who came back from the future so it's not clear how much of a threat they can be without their living construct jiggerypokery.

I'm sure that this will get fleshed out in season 2, but they seem kind of underdeveloped as a culture at this point.

I assume that they'll probably make friends by the end of the series, so they probably can't be recurring antagonists elsewhere.

SHEPHERDS:

Why They're Villains: Ancient fundamentalists amorally protecting a holy comet on its path.

Pros: It was a good episode.

Cons: Unless you run into that one specific comet, they'll probably just leave you alone.

MAJALANS:

Why They're Villains: You know The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas? That.

Pros: It was a good short story.

Cons: Aside from ritualistically torturing a child to death every few years, they're kind of upstanding citizens of a the galactic community. Not really villain material.

HYSPERIANS:

Why They're Villains: Their evil queen keeps trying to trick her asexual son into losing his virginity.

Pros:

Their ship is really pretty.

The concept of Ren Faire larpers getting together to make a real kingdom is kind of hilarious.

Cons:

They're just another type of human

They seem to mind their own business when they're not trying to interfere in the sex life of one specific Starfleet engineer.

KROMSAPIODS:

Why They're Villains: They have a undeniable biological need to hunt

Pros: Kind of terrifying design

Cons: Catch-and-release hunters aren't really threatening.

MOOPSY:

Why It's a Villain: The Moopsy DRINKS YOUR BONES!!!

Pros: Moopsy!

Cons: Moopsy!

[veren-cos]

Bachelors (sdv) x reader on their period

Gender neutral, but purely because of the prompt, afab reader. I'd say everything I write is gender neutral besides the very rare Trans masc reader ☆

Not proofread and I wrote this in like 25 min- I'll update this when I'm less tired.

Harvey

• A literal doctor.

• Is not weirded out like at all. He is all like, "Oh okay! Do you need anything at all?" And moved on with life

• Maybe has a little blush when you first talk about it? It's a completely normal thing at work (and in life), but it's just because it's you that he wants to make sure he handles it well.

• Would probably get you chocolate. And a heating pad. And blankets. And all the things.

• Aka would just spoil you a bit more than normal, periods suck and he knows-

• If you had any like disorder involving you Period he would be extra on top of stuff.

• Will make sure you are well stocked on and properly take pain meds!

Elliott

• Would just absolutely spoil you!

• Runs a bath, gets chocolate, threw your pajamas in the dryer to get them extra warm, heating pad.

• Might give you a massage if they are super painful? Probably would do it regardless but he would definitely offer if he knew that got bad.

• Idk why he knows so much, maybe it's because of Leah? I don't really write about the bachelotettes, but I feel like she would be super open about it so that's why Elliott knows a lot.

• But yeah he'd be super good to you! Would make you food just because. He is great at spoiling people, but not actually great at knowing what to do physically haha. (I think I mentioned in a previous fic where he just makes you soup if your in pain, he would do that here too)

Shane

• So if I just take Shane as a standalone character I don't think he'd know a lot / want to know/ care.

• But!

• Jas. I'm not sure what age she is supposed to be (literally anywhere from 7-12 imo) but I feel like Shane would have read up on Period stuff in preparation.

• So he would actually be more informed than Elliott!

• Now onto the actual stuff lol-

• He wouldn't be super pamper-y like Elliott and Harvey, but he would definitely help around the house more.

• Animals are all taken care of, crops are all watered, took care of some weeds, etc.

• He would also probably be a bit more physically affectionate purely because he knows you like it.

• Might be a bit embarrassed about it at first but after the first one he gets the gist of what to do.

Alex

• Would be relatively informed just because he is a health nut, but also doesn't know what to do because the most important woman in his life is postmenopausal-

• Probably would just give you chocolate and hugs because he knows like. Emotional and cravings.

• If they were super bad he would ask his grandma for help!

• Wouldn't be embarrassed about it! Once again. Health nut. Gets you pain meds!

Sebastian

• Okay. So. Sebastian.

• Literally lives with 2 ladies. Both very strong confident women. He wouldn't be uninformed by any means, but he probably is still awkward around the topic lmao

• Like if you were complaining he would be like "...." "am I supposed to do something about that?"

• AND HE DIDNT MEAN IT IN A RUDE WAY he was genuinely asking. But he just doesn't know and also is an awkward guy?

• Would do the least out of all the Bachelor's. Maybe just be more emotionally available because Period mood swings be rough. Makes more time to talk about things with you.

• Grabs you ibuprofen or Tylenol, whatever you have in the house.

Sam

• So Sam lives with a kind of coddling mom, does not have sisters, so like. His mom wouldn't talk to him about it. He has no 'personal' experience with it.

• Would be the most clueless-

• But he would definitely be like, "oh babe that sucks let me know what I can do"

• Gives you more cuddles, helps on the farm.

• Super enthusiastic about making you comfortable! He makes it into a way bigger deal than it is but he is genuinely curious about stuff so you think it's cute.

• After your first one when your together he is much better prepared / informed so he isn't all over the place.

• Just very cute and well meaning.

An* I hope this was at least a little cute / silly / comforting / whateveryouwantedoutofthis! I base everything off of personal experience because, like, it's all I got- but more people should be comfortable talking about this! It's completely normal and just a basic human function. So if yours is different than what others describe, that's okay! If yours is exactly the same, also okay! Idk where I'm going with this, but there is no shame in having a period, and that's on that!

This also came off way more dramatic than I meant it to be, but I live for the drama so it's okay (this applies to both the fic and the author's note-)

Masterlist

[strwbrryeyes]

nini… think about… iwaizumi meeting a girl who’s surprisingly stronger than him. she can lift that man with no problem. she has a sleeper build or something !! :3

𖦹°｡⋆ Friendly competition (iwaizumi x reader)

⟡ cw: fluff, competitive fem!reader and iwaizumi, taken place at a gym, idk i'm bad with tags, lmk if i missed anything

⟡ a/n: omg requests are finally rolling out after ages! also i rewrote this and proofread it countless times so if there's anything wrong i'm sorry im just DUMB

Iwaizumi Hajime has always loved going to the gym, which is evident as he goes there almost every day. Not only is he very fit and built, but his health is also in excellent condition as he knows that taking care of himself and his inner workings is just as important (actually, more important) as keeping up his outward appearance. It also helps that he is an athletic trainer, so he always has a way to remind himself to stay in shape as he would always nag his athletes about the importance of being fit while not overworking themselves. Overall, Iwaizumi has always found comfort and importance in working out and keeping everything about himself in good shape.

So that’s when he saw you about to lift an alarmingly heavy weight, he walked towards you as worry took over him but then stopped in surprise when he saw you lift up the weight over your head with complete ease and no sign of struggle.

“Impressive…” Iwaizumi mutters out as he watches you place the weight back down in front of you.

As he catches your attention, you turn around and smile at him with pride. “Thank you! I’ve been working towards that for weeks now!” You happily tell him while wiping the sweat off of your forehead. Iwaizumi continues to watch you as you walk towards the rest of your stuff in pure amazement and curiosity before striking up another conversation.

“You know, I’ve never seen someone like you lift like that,” Iwaizumi starts as he leans over the piece of equipment in front of him “What’s your secret?”

With a chuckle and a light flush creeping up your face, you look at him with a teasing kind of look. “Not much really, just a lot of hard work and a lot of trial and errors of multiple techniques!” you exclaim to him as you flex your arm further surprising the man by how well-built you actually are.

“Why don’t you show me a few tricks then?” he quirks his brow playfully as he steps closer to you as if he’s proposing a challenge.

“I don’t see why not,” you take one step closer, looking up at him “but I’m warning you, you might get yourself into more than you can handle.” playfully teasing him, you smirk at Iwaizumi causing him to drop his jaw in shock a bit before he lets out a low chuckle.

“Oh, I’m sure I can handle it.” Iwaizumi finally says before sticking out his hand for a handshake “I’m Iwaizumi, and I’ll see you here same time tomorrow.”

“I’m [name], and you can bet I’ll be here tomorrow to make you beg for mercy.” You take his hand in yours and shake it as if he had just made a deal with the devil.

What the both of you don’t know is that this handshake would be the one that would change your lives for the better.

As the next day rolls around, you both stay true to your words and show up to the gym around the same time. You both share techniques with each other and become friends easily as you both push each other to new limits, sparking a playful rivalry that leads into more sessions at the gym.

With each day at the gym together, you both challenge each other to multiple tests of strength and endurance that even catch the attention of all the other regulars to the point where they all surround you during every small competition you guys had. Even with all of the eyes looking at you two, you and Iwaizumi only see each other with no care for everyone else. Was it just that you wanted to one up each other? Or was it more than that? Neither of you were too sure yet, but you did know that you never wanted your time together to come to an end.

Days and weeks pass by, and you and Iwaizumi still find ways to work harder and to encourage each other to go further than you have been in the gym, but now you’ve come to realize you have challenged each other to almost everything one could think of.

With this realization, you walk up to Iwaizumi who is doing his post-workout stretching and sit across from him.

“Well, Iwa-chan~” you say in a mocking tone, knowing that nickname annoys him ever since his friend, Oikawa, came to work out with you both a couple of times, which causes him to roll his eyes, “Looks like I’ve taught you everything I know and you still fall behind a bit.” you smirk as he whips his head up to look at you.

“That’s a lie and you know it.” he spits out before standing up.

Your smirk turns into a full-on shit-eating grin as you look up at him from the floor “How is it a lie? I’m still stronger than you.” You tease him, making his eyebrow twitch.

“You are not stronger than me.” He chuckles, only a bit offended before turning around to grab his water bottle as an idea pops into your head.

As Iwaizumi drinks his water, you slowly and quietly stand up and walk behind him. Once directly behind him, you snake your arms around his waist and lift him up, causing a high-pitched yelp to come from his mouth which causes you to burst out laughing and accidentally drop him on the ground, making him lose his balance which leads to him falling over.

After a few more seconds of your non-stop laughing to the point where your eyes are squeezed shut with tears poking out from the corners, Iwaizumi takes this as an opportunity to take revenge and scoop you up bridal style in his own two arms.

This action makes you stop laughing as shock takes over you with your face turning a bright shade of pink, Iwaizumi smiles at you.

“You may be able to lift me a few inches off the ground, but that doesn’t mean anything as long as I’m able to lift you,” He says in a voice that's soft and soothing to your ears before placing you back on the ground slowly.

You try to gain your composure as fast as you can but only fail when he takes your hand in his and looks directly into your eyes with a look you’ve never seen from him before. A look of adoration.

“Let me take you to dinner after we leave?” Iwaizumi asks you, with hope in his voice, and after a few moments of shock and silence, you lightly punch his chest before nuzzling your face into it so he wouldn’t see your face, which was still the pinkest shade possible.

“Okay, but I get to choose where we eat.” Finally, you mutter out an answer into his chest, and all he can do is hug you while lifting you up into the air once again.

With that, you and Iwaizumi go out to dinner and talk and laugh before you both decide to make it official.

After dinner, you walk hand in hand back to your place, happy that you’ve found each other, but of course, you can’t let this be too sappy of a moment, so you let go of his hand and step out in front of him.

“So! What’s it like having a girlfriend that’s stronger than you?” You tease him with your signature grin, making him roll his eyes before pulling you into his arms.

“It feels pretty great actually.” Iwaizumi mumbles out, causing you to cheer and pump your fist into the air as he finally admitsthat you’re stronger than him.

You’re only stronger than him by a bit, but he doesn’t care as long as he gets to see you smile your goofy smile more.

[brucewaynehater101]

Fake Uncle is brilliant! Love it!

Bruce: so the uncle was real?

Tim: yup

Bruce: but he's an evil uncle???

Tim: yup

Bruce: why did you never tell me??

Tim *blinks: it never came up. Duh.

Well, for the Drakes. I was thinking they'd be aliens as well. But even within their culture they were aloof. Like maybe as strategists but not someone with a family circle. They had no clue what to do with a child. But, their king handed them a baby with his final breath. Earth looked safe, so that's where they went.

I'm sure they were baffled by earth human customs. I imagine raising children is different on earth. They were, however, good at negotiations, so they worked their way up the social ladder, hoping to give Tim a better life (not quite princely, but close).

I really like the idea about them searching for artifacts to teach Tim about their home!!! Good idea!! I'll have to use that!

The Drakes tried, but I think they mostly threw money at Tim. New bike? Sure. Want to learn Mandarin? Why not? Want a new nanny cause the last one was rude? Of course, your highness! Immediately!

New nannies happened all the time because timbo was a brat and fired them for petty stuff as a little kid.

Kori would be a fun add-on! Maybe she offers Tim slightly wrong advice culturally.

K: -and do this! It's very important!

T: does it.

Staff: Noooooo! This is WRONG!

T and K: confused.

Tim was trained that he was a prince, but he also was taught that it was very, very unlikely that he would take the throne. (The Drakes died later)

EXACTLY! That's along the lines I was thinking, but I'm not super great at making up funny traditions yet. Lol.

You are CORRECT about Tim "not being able to change rules" and "unstable position". It makes sense for the AU.

Ridiculous subjects are in the plan!

Subject: I have brought you this gift Your Highness. *bows with jar of slime.

Tim*is concerned: it's moving?!

Subject *shocked: Of course, Highness! I would only bring you alive Grummk!

Tim: .....ok....thank you?

Damian would be fascinated and JEALOUS me thinks.

I am so vibing with the Drakes trying their best and being so clueless as well. I'd love to see a scene or two of Janet and Jack just arguing with each other as toddler Tim causes chaos in the background.

Janet: "Is he climbing the tree in the backyard?"

Jack: "Yeah. I saw an article about human kids and trees or something."

Janet: "Is he climbing the tree that the gardener sectioned off for safety?"

Jack: "Yes?"

Janet: ".... I'm sure it'll be fine."

Tim ended up with a broken arm.

I liked the court scene you had! Stuff like that would be hilarious to read ^^

Are there any differences between Tim/the Drakes and humans? It would be funny if it's something small, especially that all humans have (like the ability to taste cinnamon or something). Just traits that Tim is able to get away with by leaning into his "I was neglected by my 'parents' and thus have no clue how to do normal human things like the human I totally am." Any physical traits (like a blue birthmark) could be cool as well.

Tim, if you wanted, could also bond with Kara and Clark about being an alien raised on Earth.

I think Damian could become an advisor for Tim. That would be kind of cute to see. They could also bond about being heirs of empires that they thought they would never actually inherit.

Dick could charm/be a court performer if he wanted to do that. Alfred would definitely get his hands on the kitchen staff to ensure Tim is properly being fed. Barbara would beef up Tim's security.

Cass would probably play pranks on Tim's "army" while Steph gathered blackmail on the planet's high society (and pull pranks on the ones that pissed her off).

I don't know enough about Helena Bertinelli, but maybe she would treat it as a fun vacation to intimidate rich people?

Duke might be interested in learning more about Tim's home world and what it's like to space travel. He would also be the one to accidentally set half the castle on fire.

I don't know if you'd like your AU to have all the Bats, but there's some stuff they could do.

[drdemonprince]

how did you know that seeking institutional help was the right step to take?

For four years I was always in high levels of care. When I transitioned out of that, I was a "revolving door patient" to ip units living with a carer the rest of the time. I sometimes self-harmed or did other actions intentionally to get hospitalized during that time. I'm going to focus on mostly that because I don't want to get into the weeds of how different psych treatment programs are categorized and run.

I would say that my goal of being hospitalized usually was to change something in my outpatient life - let my therapist know I wasn't willing to do something, get my companions to let me go for walks alone, whatever. I'd get hospitalized or call the cops on myself or send scary texts to my therapist and then try to end my life, eventually being stopped. I didn't want to die, but if I could prove to them I was willing to, they'd listen.

Another person mentioned a desire for closeness+physical touch, and that was a huge part of it for me. i even got restrained sometimes just because I wanted any touch, which is something commonly heard from incarcerated people. I had certain nurses and other staff who I saw as my family, calling my therapist "dad" and interacting in a needy, childlike way with floor staff.

I also liked how much it pared down my life. I was in college at the time, and found the social habits of the other students confusing and overwhelming, so I'd get hospitalized to miss class.

what helped you trust the professionals or the institution enough for it to be beneficial to you?

i wouldn't say I trust any of the institutions, but some staff earned my trust. I was a scary mean noncompliant patient so the few who actually bothered to get to know me were usually moments away from some kind of burnout where they realized all this shit sucks.

One of the things they did that earned my trust was to share about their own mental health or addiction history. This is encouraged in sud places, but usually VERY discouraged in psych units, moreso the higher level of care it is.

Another big thing was to allow me to break rules or break them themselves. My ex-therapist used to meet with me for extra time, give me my DVD player when I wasn't allowed, etc. and it felt like he saw me as equal. Turns out he sucks. but. during the time he was treating me he definitely helped me a lot with my thinking patterns, so the trust still ended up benefiting me, even if the relationship didn't always. He also talked A LOT about his family and life outside of work, and showed me pictures, and I even met his dog once.

for me this is an example of why therapists are kind of. not great? because he earned my trust enough to help me, I was at his defense. I felt like not getting better was something I was "doing to him", and his displays of sadness (once something I'd considered a positive aspect of his self disclosure) became a way to manipulate me into the hospital when I didn't want to go, without having to resort to force or law. i agreed with the assertion of psychology that he knew me better than I know myself, and gave every part of my personality, personhood, to the medical model.

so yes it helped as in now when I'm suicidal or about to bpd-style destroy my every relationship I think "play the tape forward what happens next" and don't. which is lame bc it means most of the people who treated me get to leave patting themselves on the back about how well im doing now.

which kinds of institutions have been *less* traumatic than the others?

A few times I got to live in supportive group home style places, and those are kind of nice! It was cool to be in a place surrounded by other mentally ill people. Much less lonely. In general, places that let you outside independently, let you access food independently (e.g. no staff in the kitchen), and let you keep some secrets from staff are the best. My quality of life was 100% better when all the program heads knew we were vaping in our rooms but just let it happen unless someone started setting off alarms. Ditto with like, being able to stay up late on Devices.

Having that independence, a place for my sense of self other than being a patient, was sooo sooo helpful.

is it sometimes worth simply not being able to act on the ideation, even if it means putting up with lots of institutional bullshit?

I didn't find the hospital particularly good at getting me to not act, instead they just prevented the worst consequences. All three hundred stitches I got for self-harm were while I was institutionalized. But like, my nerve damage is less than it could've been. I am not sure how to evaluate if that's better than having just died, because I have no idea how much the institution itself caused self-harm and suicidality.

all things being equal, would it always be better to be able to stay at a friend's house instead?

yes

if you could get 24-7 company from a loved one, would that be better?

yes. however. i think it would be good if people had some information about how to talk to suicidal people. like... i forget the training. but its similar to what they teach helpline volunteers. thats its ok to say suicide. to ask if they have a plan. to ask if theyd be willing to get rid of the means. etc.

SORRY IF THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE TO READ

this is a wealth of information, thank you!

[crazylittlejester]

okay so i'm working on my theory but i decided to be generous and give you one of my heartfelt headcanons just to suffice the wait lmao

anyways, fluffy warriors headcanon ig but, Warriors absolutely loves children, especially those who are orphans in his hyrule. Because of the war, many children were left orphaned after all the chaos and this obviously made wars upset since they're children, kids who technically lived and suffered through hell.

He's kind of like a celebrity to them in a way that, he is the reason why they're able to be safe and live normal lives after all that happened, those orphans are like his biggest fans </3

Everytime Warriors visits his hyrule he always makes sure to spare some time to go visit the orphanages and meet up with all these kids who are always so happy to see him. He tells them stories about all of his grand adventures and also occasionally plays music for them too! He's just very generous to all the unfortunate people who were hurt due to the effect of the war, he never wishes for his people to be disappointed in how things ended up and, as a hero and a captain, he believes he should help them in every way that he can. (He's just way too friendly for his own good....)

i can’t wait to read ur theory!! take all the time you need

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES. YES.

Warriors loves children, he’s absolutely amazing with them and I’ll never let this headcanon go. I actually have two things I’m writing related to this headcanon because I love it so much: One is a modern au where he ends up having to take care of this little girl who literally has no one else, and then another thing I haven’t posted yet and is mainly just an idea floatin’ around in my head

I can just imagine him sitting on the floor with a kid or two on his lap and like 10 more hanging off him or on the floor around him listening to him tell stories, they probably get so excited to learn he’s going to come and visit. And I know he’s rich as hell and I know he donates so much of that money to help rebuild parts of hyrule and help give these kids better lives 🫶

[vierss-herondale]

Please tell me your favourite thing(s) about Clace! I'm rereading TMI and I just am falling in love with them all over again. I'm at CoFA, they're FINALLY officially together, and their banter is ON POINT (they come by it honestly. Wessa, yk yk.) But YEAH . And also ramble about Sizzy too if you're into it, they're hitting SO hard this time and I'm in love in love in love with them.

Bestie, I don’t even know where to start 😂

The fact that during TMI most of the people saw Clary as this tiny little girl and they underestimated her but Jace realized very quickly how STRONG she really was! Like, he kicks her ass for real during training! He knows she can take it! And she’s the bravest person he knows!

And how everyone sees Jace as this strong warrior but Clary knows the fragility that lays underneath his tough exterior. Most of the people describes Jace as "hot/sexy" but Clary almost always thinks about him as ✨beautiful✨

Don’t even get me started on how Jace lacked love for so long in his life, even thinking that his heart was broken and he was incapable of falling in love… and then he met Clary, someone with such a big heart and with SO MUCH LOVE to give, and then they fell in love! ♥️

It makes me so sad that during TMI Jace had such a low faith in himself because of the way Valentine raised him. That he thought he had to be perfect or the Lightwoods would kick him out. Can you imagine that? Living with such fear of losing the love of the only family you ever know? 🥺🥺 That's why I love the fact that Clary's faith in Jace is so big and it NEVER lacks! And she makes sure he KNOWS it. That he can always count on her and her love for him.

And the fact that even when Jace was taught that love destroys you, he was never afraid of loving Clary! He said that loving her was the best feeling he ever felt. In many other books you see the male protagonist keep the girl away because they are afraid to fall in love but Jace never did that, quite the contrary actually.

I love how they complete each other, and how they helped each other to be better! Jace learned so much from Clary, and became a better version of himself, but Clary also growth so much after meeting him!

I also love how they pick on each other so much! They know how to have fun!

Listen, I know it's SUCH a big cliche and judge me all you want but I LOOOVE how Jace was mean to everyone but Clary lol In my defense I was a teenager when Wattpad was a hit and the bad boy trope was on every story 😂 So yeah, I like that he’s such a sweetheart with her and ONLY her 🫶🏻

How Jace looks at Clary as if she's his personal miracle 🥹♥️

I love that she NEVER slut shamed Jace! I have seen that some part of the fandom judge Jace for sleeping with other girls BEFORE HE MET CLARY. Like bro? It's his body and he was single, I don't see the problem and I love that Clary never judged him for that. She always knew that what they have is different from anything Jace could have had with other girls. I love a secure female character 🫶🏻

Also girl the way he's SO OBSESSED with her! He worships her so hard! I love those kind of male protagonist!!!

There's LOTS of things I love about Clace but I might never finish listing them so let's just cut it here lol

Now about Sizzy... I love that couple because they always seem like such a REAL LIFE couple to me.

Look I'm such a sucker for love at first sight couples like Clace BUT the reason why I love Simon and Izzy is because they are so real about the way their relationship developed.

In real life most people falls in love more than once in life and that's normal and it's okay. You can go through heart break and be hurt but that doesn't mean that you can't fall in love again and it be even MORE stronger than before! Simon represents that so well. He loved Clary so much for many years but then he realized they didn't work like that, and his love transformed into friendship love.

And then he fell in love with Izzy and it was a stronger feeling! This time he knew he belonged with her. That's just like real life is, you can fall in love more than once but it doesn’t mean that your previous love was less valid.

And Izzy is such an amazing character, she was the one that taught teenage me that you can wear makeup, dresses and high hills AND STILL KICK ASSES while doing so!

I think she's such a brave character because she carried the pain of her father's betrayal on her mom for so long... But she overcame it and she was brave enough to open up her heart to Simon. This comes from someone who went through something similar at a similar age and believe me, I KNOW by first hand how brave and strong Izzy had to be to let herself trust someone else with her heart. She’s so special to me.

And she opened her heart to Simon TWICE! They are a couple that went through a LOT and it makes me so happy to know that they are engaged now ♥️

[triviallytrue]

A bit over halfway through Frieren

Things I like:

I think they did a really good job with making Frieren feel immortal - the way she fritters away time and takes people for granted, and the ways it bites her in the end.

Stark is a good character, especially compared with a lot of other warrior types. I like the way he deals with fear without letting it get annoying, and I really like his willingness to say "let me go call our ridiculously powerful mage to handle the problem instead of us risking our lives." The kind of intelligence you rarely see in anime

Relatedly I really liked the episode where he impersonated that guy's kid. I think the part where he was analogizing the younger son's relationship with his dad to his own relationship with his dad (younger son of a strict father with a prodigious older brother) and he felt obligated to speak out, but then it turned out the relationship wasn't like that, was pretty interesting.

I think having Himmel be rejected by the sword was a good choice. Humans get to decide who the true heroes are and all that.

I like the ambiguous take on religion in the setting. Too many settings just say "actually god(s) is/are real in this setting" and then still import the vibes of real life religion, which doesn't work very well.

I think "this spell is very powerful demon magic" -> "this spell has become ordinary offensive magic due to human analysis and adaptation" -> "no actually Frieren taught you a ridiculously powerful modified version designed to kill demons" was a fun double bait and switch.

Things I don't like:

A lot of people have pointed out that the demon thing is problematique, but I think the worse sin is that it's just fucking stupid. Yeah man I'm sure that a village chief would try to adopt a demon that ate a child just because it looked sad and said words. This is definitely something a person would do.

Same thing with the "letting demons in to negotiate" thing. Like, okay, we've got a magic barrier and we're fighting a war. Why don't we let the demons inside the barrier to negotiate despite never ever having successful negotiations with them in the past and the fact that individual demons can be much stronger than any of the humans we have. And then while they're here we won't keep a consistent guard on them or anything either, they can just fuck off and kill people. I am very smart.

Look, it's one thing to construct a setting where xenophobia is Correct, Actually but it's another to do it in such an ass backwards way

[misc-obeyme]

Okay, this is very much specific to myself, but whatever 🫶 What would Barbatos think of an MC that is always dressed up. VERY dressed up. For instance; I'm going to school in a petticoat, two skirts, two shirts, and a full corset... that kind of dressed up.

Like, on one hand, I think he'd really enjoy it, but on the other, I feel like he'd be constantly worried. They're NEVER dressed for the weather, they're NEVER dressed for comfort, and what are they supposed to wear to formal events when they dress like this on the daily?

He'd probably grumble about it to a bit but ultimately still adore their style and offer to make them something for those formal events.

And on the other side of the spectrum, an MC who is never dressed up at all! I'm taking hoodies and sweatpants all the time.

I'm guessing he'd respect them for their choice of comfort over style but also want them to be just a tad more formal around Lord Diavolo.

Put em together and a typically fancy MC being casual only for Barbatos?

We got that phone call from Barbatos in either his most recent or second most recent card, where he's wearing casual clothing, and we get his reaction to MC's reaction. (I hope you know the call I'm talking about because I can not find it for the life of me)

He'd totally be touched to be one of the few MC is casual around!!

I'm almost embarrassed about my reaction that phone call. It's the one called "Out of Character Teatime" and it's from the UR+ Wind Spirits & Surprises, which is his anniversary UR card.

It's great no matter what dialogue option you choose, but there's one where he talks about how he's waiting for you just as himself and not as a butler. And THAT always makes me silly.

But he also ends that call by saying he'll receive you in whichever type of clothing you prefer. Which I found accurate but also funny. I mean, he's basically saying he'll dress formal or casual depending on your preference. And I'm over here like... what if my preference is that you wear whatever you want, huh???

But along those lines, he's all about MC doing whatever they're happiest doing. So I think he'd be happy no matter what style MC chose, as long as they're doing whatever makes them most comfortable.

I think he would absolutely appreciate an MC who dresses up a lot, though. He'd be happy to make them outfits any time and he probably loves to see them wearing something he made.

He would also make clothes for a casual MC. I kinda see him making all kinds of hoodies and such. He's versatile, you know?

And either way, I think he'd be worried about MC being dressed for the weather. Like he appreciates your dedication to style, but really it's going to be cold and you need to wear a jacket. Might also scold you about it if you do it too often or if you actually get sick because of it.

There's very much this secretive aspect of his character, but it's more than just him keeping epic plot-changing secrets. There's also him kinda hiding his true self, too. He plays the part of a butler, but that isn't what defines him. He's a butler, but more than that, he's a person. A being with feelings and needs and times when he isn't perfect. And I think if he was to encounter an MC who revealed that side of themselves to him, no matter how that manifests, he would feel loved and trusted. Just like he loves and trusts MC enough to let them see him in a casual state.

Here I go writing Barb essays again lol.

[beanghostprincess]

Sometimes I scroll through your blog just to Vibe and Turn Off The Brain bc Safe Space Energy, and every single time, I go "Yeah this is great, nice and chill, no thought, head happy-" and then I get SLAMMED with ideas for fics.

Like. Your opinions and takes and tastes are PEAK and so full of inspiration,,,,,,

I am currently in an AroAce Luffy Mood so accept my crew x Lu ideas

ZoLu as a partnership where they call one another Their Boyfriend, and they pass as a romantic relationship. Luffy doesn't really Get Romantic Feelings but he DOES love. He has squishes on his whole crew, but Zoro is His Zoro.

Zoro, for his part, is aromantic or some flavor thereof where his devotion to Luffy is maybe romantic love, maybe platonic love, who cares, he'd do anything for his captain.

Simultaneously, Luffy has a queer platonic relationship with most people on the crew, they are HIS and the only boundaries he'll respect at the ones they establish. Who cares about propriety? They're PIRATES!

After different arcs, Luffy gets Clingier to certain people - it's either New Friend Fawning or Not So Hidden Abandonment Issues Cropping Up. Sometimes it's just a need for comfort, either on his end or for one of his people.

Sanji spent a long time keeping everyone... kind of at arm's length. Ussop and he wind up falling into orbit, and life isgood, is beautiful, Sanji is so happy - but he also is so terrified.

He will follow his captain to the end of the world, and he loves his crew, his friends, with everything he has. There is no where on the planet he'd be safer than there, with them. But Luffy's eyes, so dark and searching and Seeing - they make him antsy. It's alright in passing, in energetic moments. It's unbearable during those rare moments of calm examination. Sanji makes it clear very early on that he's not into that.

It's only after WCI that Luffy grabs Sanji into a tight hug late one evening, them both sitting up, awake and alone in the small kitchen. It's then that calloused rubber hands cup a stubble dotted jaw, a forehead pressed to forehead, and brown-black-red eyes meet blue and Luffy just... waits.

And Sanji? Oh, he's tired. He's tired, he's sad, he's hurt but he's safe and-

He's Luffy's.

He is baptized under that gaze that night with hot cocoa in their tongues and warmth in their hearts and Sanji lets himself have this. It doesn't matter if he deserves it, it doesn't matter if it's alright, all that matters is that It Is, that he can claim it for himself.

Just. Idek where I was going with this honestly. Just AAAAAAAAAAA

You can't just say I'm a comfort blog for you and not expect me to start crying 😭😭💖💖💖 That's the nicest thing ever, please,,, Sobbing. I'm glad you like my posts <33 And I'm always in an aroace/aroaspec Luffy mood so PLEASE tell me your thoughts 💛💛

Aroace Zolu is so funny to me. They're a third secret thing. It's like they are not boyfriends but they are boyfriends but actually that's just how first mates/captains are with each other but they're special and unlike anybody else and-- You get me.

And I agree btw I think Luffy has QPR relationships everywhere in the crew (I mean. Mostly east blue crew but yeah) because his way of loving is more than just friendship but it's not romantic love either? And they don't need a word for that because they are pirates so it doesn't matter at all what labels they use as long as they're happy with it.

The last part btw????? Do you want me to CRY?????? Aghhh. I love Sanji opening up and accepting the love Luffy has to offer him. It's my favorite flavor of Lusan.

This was great,, Awesome incredible even,,, Made my day <33