#he's like that guy in monty python and the holy grail

[amica-aenigmata-naboo]

Comfortable

Vinnie Hacker x Y/N - Drabble - 1.4K WC NSFW 18+

Masterlist

Warnings: slight angst, dry humping, setting boundaries, consent checks, Vinnie being sweet, lust, SMUT, i really cooked with this one guys - it slaps harder than your mom, female reader, praise like a mf because you deserve it pookie bear, moaning, absolutely pathetic man - as they should be, L bombs, no penetration

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You smiled politely, thanking Vinnie as he held the door open for you. You’d been to his house before but today was different. He had asked if you wanted to stay the night for the first time. Initially you were excited thinking of all the fun stuff you and him could do and not have to worry about going home. Now… all you could feel was nervous. Your friends had convinced you that his intentions weren’t all pure. Obviously he expected something physical or else he wouldn’t have asked you to stay. You liked Vinnie. A lot. Begrudgingly you were even starting to consider the forbidden L word. And he had been nothing but a gentleman, never pushing you beyond your comfort. Yet your mind swam with anxieties of what you would do or say if things got to a point you didn’t want to pass. You set your bag down with your shoes once inside, looking around at his decorations. The house smelled like him, sweet but gentle and earthy. You felt Vinnie’s arms sneak around your waist, nuzzling his nose in the crook of your neck where he placed a gentle kiss. You smiled, enjoying his presence.

Turning your head, you kissed his cheek “Wanna watch a movie?” you asked.

“What movie?” he mumbled. 

“Labyrinth, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, or Princess Bride?” you said giving him options.

“Princess Bride, hands down.” he said, squeezing your hips. 

You chuckled, turning out of his grip so you could go to the living room. You flopped on the couch, enjoying the many blankets Vinnie had thrown out before you got there as he mentioned building a pillow fort. Vinnie walked into the kitchen as you went and sat on the couch. 

“Wanna put your pajamas on while I make the popcorn?” he asked as he took out a bowl and grabbed the microwave popcorn bags.

You nodded with a smile, happy he wanted you to be comfortable. When you returned from changing in the bathroom you saw Vinnie in the kitchen without a shirt. How did he look so hot doing the most mundane tasks? “Popcorn needs to be made shirtless?” you sassed.

Vinnie laughed, “The butter exploded.”

“Rookie mistake.”

Vinnie brought the giant bowl of popcorn over, sitting it on the two of your laps so you could cuddle. Towards the end of the movie your eyes felt heavy, not in a sleepy way but in a relaxed way. Completely comfortable and happy. The warm expanse of his chest against your cheek, his arm circling your waist. You never wanted to move. You leaned up, kissing his cheek sweetly. 

“What is it baby?” Vinnie said, his eyes tracing every curve of your face. He smiled seeing how relaxed you look.

“I’m just… happy.” You said with a content sigh.

Vinnie ran his hand up and down your waist, his warmth made you lean into him even more so your foreheads were touching. His hand stilled on your hip, letting the tips of his fingers slipping under the hem of your shirt. Your breath hitched, your hand flying to his. 

“Sorry…” was all you could think to say.

Vinnie’s eyes softened, his hand moving from your waist to cradle your face, “Baby, you never have to be sorry for having boundaries. We never have to do anything you don't wanna do.” he smiled at you sincerely. 

You breathed a sigh of relief, “I just…  is this the only reason you wanted me to stay over?” you asked, not meeting his gaze, your voice felt small. 

“Honey, of course not. I’m sorry if I gave you that impression. I guess I just… wanted to make you feel… good?” he said, sounding a bit shy. A slight pink settling on his cheeks. 

You sat back a little bit, your mind was stunned with that little revelation. Nobody had ever done that for you before. Focused on your pleasure more than theirs. You looked between his eyes and his lips with want.

“Can I kiss you?” he whispered.

You nodded.

“I need you to say it baby.” he said, leaning in slightly.

You closed the gap, your lips meeting his gently. But you wanted more; you wanted to devour him and be devoured by him. 

He responded to your touch, holding your angelic face. You gave into yourself - fuck what your friends said. You wanted him just as much as he wanted you. You sat up, as did Vinnie so you were both sitting up on the couch instead of laying down. You straddled his lap as he leaned back against the cushion, admiring the view of you taking control. 

“Is.. is it ok if we just make out?” you asked.

“Of course,” Vinnie said, holding your hips. “Anything else?” he asked.

“Feel me, kiss my neck… Please…” you stuttered slightly, already wildly turned on by him. 

Vinnie nodded, leaning forward to kiss up your stomach before pulling you closer and pushing your hips down so you were flush against his lap and finally face to face. One of his hands clasped around your throat but didn’t squeeze, he wanted to guide you. He gently pulled you to him, kissing you softly before you sped up, needily feeling over each other. Your tongues tangled together before he moved on to kiss down your neck sloppily. He gave you a slight nip, testing the waters. When you moaned at the contact he gave you another, and another, and another. Smoothing his tongue over them to relax the slight pain. Your breaths were erratic, your heart pounding fiercely. 

“You ok?” he asked, checking in with you.

You smiled at him hazily, still lost in the feeling of him. You nodded slowly.

“Words baby.” he said, kissing your neck softly trailing up from your neck to your cheek. 

“Please don’t stop.” you said, out of breath.

Vinnie bit his lip as he looked up at you. You were flush, looking needy for him. Your eyes looked hungry, feral. Vinnie slowly pushed your hips down so you were grinding against his clothed cock. He was unbelievably hard. “How’d you get hard so quick?” you chuckled softly. 

“Because it knows you want it.” he mumbled, his voice deep and heavy with lust. His hands gripped your hips tightly, slowly starting to rock you back and forth. The thin fabric of your shorts doing nothing to dull the pleasure the grinding was doing for you. You let your eyes roll back, letting him take the lead and guide your body - as long as it pleasured you. 

“So pretty baby… so so pretty… so good…” he mumbled between kisses he left over your chest. “Can I suck your tits?” he asked.

You moaned at the very thought, quickly lifting your shirt, not wearing a bra under your pj’s. 

Vinnie attached his lips to your chest, kissing and sucking over your nipples. He never stopped moving your hips and you felt the heat in your lower belly start to spread. Your legs started to shake, unable to hold you up. Vinnie held your waist to keep you up while his other hand kept grinding you into him through your orgasm. When you slumped against him trembling and twitching he relaxed his hold on you and stopped grinding into you. He placed a few soft kisses on your cheek as he held your face in his hands. 

“You look really pretty when you cum.” he smiled at you.

You covered your face, for some reason you felt embarrassed.

Vinnie laughed at your shy antics, “And you feel so soft, every part of you.” he said, trailing his hand to your breast before giving it a slight squeeze making you let out a squeak.  

“Did you feel good? Like everything we did?” he said, checking in with you.

You nodded, “Yes.”

Vinnie kissed your cheek once more before gripping the back of your thighs and carrying you to his bedroom. He set you down on the bed. Admiring you as he looked down at you. “Wanna cuddle?” he asked.

You nodded, crawling under the blankets. Vinnie smiled hopping in with you. He pulled you close so your head was resting on his broad chest, his hand tangled in your hair as he massaged your scalp. His free hand rested on your waist to keep you close. 

Right on the verge of sleep, completely vulnerable you let it slip. “I love you.” you said barely above a whisper.

Vinnie hardly heard you over the TV but his eyes snapped down to look at you. Your face was so peaceful, your breaths even and relaxed. “I love you.” Vinnie whispered before kissing the top of your head. He settled in letting himself slip away as well, enjoying the feeling of you next to him as he drifted off.

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Naboo's Note:

this man has me in a chokehold unfortunately - enjoy cookies <3 XOXOXOXOXOOXOXXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[twistedteatime]

Super Soldier Theater: The Little Mermaid

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader, Steve Rogers x Reader, Stucky x Reader. It's not specific. No pronouns assigned to Reader past "you".

Summary: Bucky Barnes missed out on a lot while being controlled by HYDRA. Steve Rogers missed out on even more being frozen in ice. Since Sam has made it his mission to update them on music, you decide that it's your job to update them on what they've missed out on in cinema.

Chapter Summary: Deciding that the guys need a break from blood, monsters, and people getting eaten you decide that it's time to start them on Disney's animated movies. So, naturally, you choose The Little Mermaid. Nothing horrifying happens in that...right?

Word Count: 6.5K

Warnings: Mild Language (Steve will deal), warnings that come with The Little Mermaid, Bucky and Steve questioning logic and people's intelligence, Strong reactions to Ursula, Alpine being angry, other stuff I probably forgot.

A/N: Yeah...this...took a turn. Poll for the next movie is at the end. If you notice typos along the line of he instead of the or is instead of his, like a word out of place. It's my keyboard. I do not support my work being put into AI in any fashion

Ao3 Link: Super Soldier Theater: The Little Mermaid

Series Masterlist🍿MASTER Masterlist

Previous Movie:Jaws

Next Movie: Monty Python & The Holy Grail

You needed a break from MythBusters.

You didn’t regret introducing them to the show, but you needed a break from it. Reluctantly they agreed when you promised them it was going to be something completely different. Something classic and kid friendly.

Disney animation. The Little Mermaid to be exact.

You had debated starting with a different movie. Not Snow White. They were familiar with that. You contemplated starting with The Aristocats but decided against it after the mission they’d come back from and after deciding you didn’t need them trying to off the butler by dismantling the tv screen. Same thing with 101 Dalmatians.

Someone making a Poor Unfortunate Souls reference that they didn’t get was what tipped the scales towards The Little Mermaid for you. The fact that it was animation intrigued them both from the moment you mentioned that it was Disney. Still it took a few days for you all to actually be able to sit down and watch it together due to the mission debriefings that kept postponing movie night.

“Finally…a night at home…” Steve sighed as he put his feet up with his bowl of popcorn on one side of you while Bucky nodded with his Cracker Jack box on the other, “That mission was just…”

“Stupid.” Bucky said while handing you the remote.

“It was necessary, Buck.” Steve said but nodded when Bucky looked at him silently, blue eyes locked on blue eyes with a flat, unflinching gaze, “I could have gone without the crazy ferry boat guy trying to hide the explosives in a gas can stuffed with crawfish singing about crustaceans, though.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t jump on it.” You said and Steve sighed.

“The grenade was a dummy.”

“Don’t act like you haven’t jumped on anything else since then.” Bucky replied and you nodded in agreement while getting the movie started and Steve just licked his lips and sighed while shaking his head.

“Alright, enough. Time to watch the movie. Same rules as always. This is Disney so it’s different from the original tale written by Hans Christian Anderson by…a lot, but…it’s got music, pretty animation, and romance. There’s also a very fluffy dog.”

“Mao!” Alpine meowed from her perch on the couch and you reached over to pet her gently.

“You’re better, sweetie, and you know it.” You said, smiling as she purred, “Alright. Ready?”

They nodded so you hit play and relaxed, watching the opening castle sequence and waiting to see how long it’d take before you had to hit pause. You had a feeling you knew when and you weren’t wrong.

Their delighted fascination at the images dancing across the screen before them soon shifted to a glance of expectant knowing on Steve’s face and one of mischievous teasing on Bucky’s when Sir Grimsby’s green seasick face came on screen.

You paused.

“Get it out of your system.” Steve sighed and Bucky chuckled.

“That’d be you on that ship.” He said and Steve just rolled his eyes but nodded.

You said nothing and hit play again.

They were soon enraptured with the animation again. The colors, the fluidity, and the music. It was calming and they watched silently. Relaxed.

Then the seahorse herald announced King Triton’s arrival with his dolphin chariot lighting the chandelier in front of an ecstatic crowd. Steve narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. You weren’t entirely sure what was going to come out of his mouth but you knew it was something. Really you should have expected it.

“Why are those dolphins like horses but the seahorse has the frill thing?” he asked and you shut your eyes while silently chuckling and shaking your head.

“Because it’s Disney, Steve.” You said but Bucky had his own answer.

“Because you’d probly need 300 of those seahorses to pull Triton instead of three dolphins.” He said and Steve nodded.

You just shook your head and hit play again.

They watched the seahorse announce Sebastian excitedly then laughed when his fanfare was then played with a chorus of kazoos. The goldfish pulling him neighing like horses made Steve gesture at the TV again while Bucky narrowed his eyes and nodded in agreement.

“Disney.” You repeated and they gave up for the moment, watching the king and crustacean talk.

“What exactly is Sebastian?” Bucky asked while leaning over.

Steve answered.

“I think he’s a crab.” He said and you nodded and hit play so they could listen to Sebastian compliment Triton’s daughters and Ariel’s singing before complaining about Ariel not showing up to rehearsals.

You then stopped them from asking about how there was paper underwater, reminding them it was a cartoon before they silenced themselves to listen to the song Triton’s daughters sang. All with A names that the pair didn’t comment on.

They did comment on the huge empty clam shell opening up and Sebastian’s face in response along with Triton’s reaction. You paused, knowing this was going to be a more longwinded thing judging by Bucky’s face.

“They remind me of that one teacher we had whenever Steve would get into a fight in school.” He said and Steve thought and nodded.

“Yeah. Panic then anger, but it wasn’t my fault and you didn’t help.” He said and Bucky looked at him.

“Next time you ever have to go back in time make sure you tell my younger self to let you get flattened by Big Jim Bunson and every other guy in school.” He retorted.

“Don’t start.” You warned and pressed play when they nodded so you could watch the introduction of Ariel and Flounder.

They totally agreed with Flounder when he panicked about sharks. Then they stared in horror when it came into view. You mentally sighed.

You forgot about the shark scene.

“I feel so bad for Flounder…” Bucky said and Steve nodded before they both just stared dumbfounded at the screen when Ariel found the fork.

“Have you ever seen anything so wonderful in your entire life?!”

“Yeah.” Bucky said, “S’called a fork.”

Steve nodded and looked at Flounder when he questioned what it was before looking at Ariel when she said she didn’t know, “It’s basically the same shape as you fathers tri-the shark is outside.”

“Hmm…I wonder what this one is?”

“You have worse self-preservation instincts than Steve.” Bucky while shaking his head and Steve was too busy staring wide-eyed at the shark looming up behind Flounder in the window.

They watched carefully, and tensely, as the shark attacked and the chase scene began. Predictably they both yelled at Ariel when she went back for her bag with her things in it. They were relieved at the end when they got away.

They watched Scuttle, both arching an eyebrow but you waited until they looked at you when he declared the fork to be a dinglehopper. You remained silent and just smiled when they looked at you again when the bird described what the “dinglehopper” was used for. Then you paused.

“She has hair.” Steve said and you nodded.

“Her sisters have hair done up in hairstyles.” Bucky said and you nodded again.

“Do they not have combs?” Steve asked and you shrugged.

“I don’t know. I’m not a mermaid.” You replied and hit play and then pause again after Scuttle “explained” the use of the pipe and dated it back to prehistoric times when humans just stared at each other all day.

“I am so glad Sam isn’t here right now.” Bucky said and looked at you sternly when you smirked, “Don’t even say it.”

“Mm…I’ll be merciful. For now.” You smiled and Steve snickered before they watched as Ariel remembered the concert finally and took off.

At least until Flotsam and Jetsam showed up with their glowing eyes and Ursula made her first appearance.

Bucky shook his head back and forth at the screen, “No.”

“She’s a cartoon character, Bucky.” You soothed and he shook his head.

“No. I don’t like her. She’s evil. Why the tentacles?” He asked and Steve looked at you before he kept going, “Did they know? I doubt HYDRA would let themselves be portrayed as evil. I don’t remember anything to do with Disney.”

“Calm…breathe. It’s a children’s movie…” you soothed and he looked at you.

“She’s nightmare fuel!”

“She’s half calamari.” You replied and he calmed down with a deep breath, chuckling as Steve did when they both remembered what you had dubbed the HYDRA logo back when they first met you.

Calamari on Skull Island.

“Yes, she’s evil, but…it’s a Disney movie. They only stopped making the villains obviously different in recent years and they still actually kinda do that so…Ursula.” You continued and he nodded before letting you hit play again.

They watched as Triton scolded his daughter and as Sebastian helped him do so before Flounder attempted to defend her only to get her into more trouble when he mentioned the crazy seagull.

“What’s he got against humans?” Steve asked you and you paused when Ariel swam off upset with her father.

Bucky nodded, “Yeah, I mean…I get we kind of suck but it’s not that great and safe in the ocean. You got Jaws’s relative and then the tentacle lady. Not exactly safe.”

You paused to answer, thinking about it for a moment on how, “Well…it’s kinda complicated. This movie has sequels. Disney sequels…kind of have a reputation as being…crap compared to the originals. Some aren’t as bad as others. One of the ones for this explains why he hates humans so I’m…a bit torn on telling you outright. I’m leaning towards no because I want you both to see this as I did. The sequels took a good while to come out so Triton hating humans was just a thing for a long time that people theorized about.”

They nodded and accepted that answer. Pressing play again you all watched as Triton sighed, moped, and Sebastian complained about teenagers. It also allowed them a moment to see Triton as a concerned father, though you knew what was coming was going to trigger some thoughts from both.

Until that moment, though you watched them both stare flatly at the screen when Sebastian went off on what he’d do if Ariel was his daughter. Then they nodded when Triton thought before shaking their heads when he assigned Sebastian to keep an eye on Ariel.

“Saw that coming.” Bucky said and you and Steve both nodded then watched as Sebastian caught Ariel sneaking off with her bag and followed her, “It is so weird watching him swim…”

“Yeah…” Steve nodded as they watched him swim into Ariel’s grotto and stare at all the human stuff while Ariel sulked.

“I just don’t see things the way he does. I don’t see how a world that makes such wonderful things…could be bad.” She said; Bucky didn’t miss a beat.

“Try living in it.”

“SHH!” Steve shushed him when Ariel started singing.

You were surprised when they both just watched, listened, and thought. Quite honestly you were expecting some sort of comment but they both sat, listened, and watched. At least until you understood that it connected with them in two different ways…but that thought was quickly displaced.

“I betcha on land, they understand, they don’t reprimand their daughters. Bright young women, sick of swimmin’, ready to stand!”

“No.” both of them said shaking their heads and you sighed and paused.

“What?” Bucky asked blinking at you, “We all know that’s not what it’s like. ‘Specially back in the 40s.”

“Yeah. I mean…it’s better now but c’mon.” Steve said, “We’re adults and we get yelled at all the time. Sure we’re men but look at what Nat’s had to go through.”

“Yelena.” Bucky added.

“Peggy was far from typical for the day.” Steve added and Bucky nodded as did you.

“I know, but Ariel’s a teenager idealizing a world she’s fascinated with. Y’know…grass is always greener type of thing? Movie?” you reminded them and they nodded before allowing you to hit play again.

They returned to watching the rest of the musical sequence, enjoying it until Sebastian crashed into everything and started freaking out. Then they watched as she spotted the boat passing overhead and swam off, completely ignoring Sebastian. The question that came next was one that got you pretty good.

“Wait. It’s nighttime?” Steve asked and you nodded slowly, “How’s there light under the water then?”

“Yeah. I thought it’d be daytime. Sure it’s murky but…it’s underwater.” He said and you blinked.

It wasn’t exactly something you’d paid attention to, still you just shrugged and answered as simply and honestly as you could, “Movie logic.”

They nodded and let you hit play again to watch as Ariel surfaced and stared in wonder at the fireworks before swimming towards the boat. Comments on her self-preservation instincts followed. Then comments on the dog when Alpine meowed at the screen.

“C’mere, Al.” Bucky soothed and scooped her up to put her on his lap and pet her, “You’re better.”

“Mao.” She replied and purred, watching with him when Ariel spotted Eric and instantly fell in love.

Then Scuttle showed up.

“Is that seagull drunk?” Bucky asked and Steve thought for a moment.

“The seagull sounds familiar.” He said and Bucky nodded.

“Y’know…yeah. Rewind it.” He said and you rewound it to play the seagull again, and then again, “This is gonna drive me nuts…”

“Leonard Hacker.” Steve said and Bucky nodded, “He was enlisting about the same time we were. He’s not drunk it’s just how he talks.”

You googled it and nodded, “Yeah, Buddy Hackett was his stage name. Served three years in an anti-aircraft battery.”

Bucky nodded, “Alive?”

“No. He passed in 2003.” You explained and they shook their heads.

“Shame.” Bucky said and Steve nodded and you hit play again to let them watch Ariel swoon over Eric then watch Sir Grimsby introduce Eric’s statue of a very over the top statue before complaining about Eric not being about to get married, “I take it back. He’s not you, Steve. He’s Sam.”

“He’s Nat if she got seasick and was a man.” He replied and you shook your head at them then listened to Eric say that when he finds the girl of his dreams he’ll know.

“It’ll hit me. Like lightning.” He said and the clouds in the distance started flashing.

“Hurricane acomin’!”

You saw various questions on their faces when the hurricane was announced yet they didn’t say anything. They simply shook their heads and watched as the storm battered and hit against the boat and the sailors before it suddenly ran aground.

“Y’know. He’s goin’ back for his pet. He’s alright.” Bucky said before sighing as the screen focused on the powder barrel, “Of course they’re gonna blow him up.”

You bid your time and held your tongue. You knew you’d get your opportunity soon.

“Well, at least Ariel’s saving him. I mean, he should be in worse condition than that but…it’s a Disney movie.” Steve said and you nodded while watching the scene shift to the beach where Ariel was tending to Eric, “Okay, how’d she get him all that way out of the water?”

“Probly durin’ high tide and then just…kept hold of him. Or she’s stronger than she looks. She’s a mermaid.” Bucky replied and Steve nodded, eating some of his popcorn before choking on it as he laughed at Scuttle peeling Eric’s eye open then listening to his foot for a heartbeat.

Bucky laughed with him as well and you couldn’t help joining them even as Ariel started singing happily again when Eric started breathing. They calmed as Eric started coming around. Then, when the shot of Ariel looking down at Eric with the sun behind her came on…you couldn’t help yourself.

“So when Steve rescued you from the HYDRA base in Austria was that what he looked like with the light?” you asked and Bucky looked at you while Steve tried not to laugh again.

“I thought I was hallucinatin’ and then I was very confused because he was tall.” He answered and you nodded, smiling, “You’re up to somethin’…I know that smile.”

“Yeah…” Steve said slowly; you just smiled more and kept silent while hitting play.

The urge to point out the similarities between them and Eric and Ariel was strong, but you resisted. For now at least.

They let it go for the moment, watching Grimsby tease Eric about drinking too much sea water. Watching them watch Sebastian go on about forgetting the whole episode they’d been through so he’d stay in one piece you knew a comment was coming as it went in one ear and out the other with Ariel.

Bucky shook his head and glanced at you, “You’re saying Ariel is Steve…and y’know what? I agree. Talkin’ to him about not doing something dangerous is like talking to a brick wall. That whole thing. That was me back in the 40s tryin’ to keep him out of trouble. In one ear out the other.”

“What?” Steve asked with a smile that smile he wore whenever he was being purposely difficult and Bucky just shook his head while rolling his eyes and turning back to the screen when you unpaused it then paused it again when Ariel sang as Eric and Grimsby walked away, “They can’t hear that?”

“Apparently not.” Bucky answered and took a bite from his Cracker Jack box and you hit play again instantly causing him to scowl as the eels showed up and Ursula returned and started gloating about how easy it was before it showed her “garden”, “Ugh…what the hell did she do to them?”

“I don’t know, Buck, but it’s not right.” Steve said scowling at the screen.

“That entire lady isn’t right.” Bucky said and they watched the scene shift to Ariel with her sisters and the one announcing to their father that Ariel was in love, “Huh…”

“Triton took that well.” Steve said and the scene shifted to Sebastian pacing back and forth while Ariel daydreamed and picked petals to determine whether Eric loved her or not, “Well at least she has a plan.”

Bucky nodded then watched Sebastian try to get Ariel to stop daydreaming about Eric before the next music number began. They watched and listened, nodding with Sebastian reminding Ariel that the fish got eaten on the surface. All while Ariel went on unimpressed.

They continued watching as Sebastian went on about all the different fish and Flounder whispered some sort of plan. Sebastian was clearly having fun and they were clearly enjoying the animation and music, but neither were surprised when it ended with Ariel missing.

“Yep.” Bucky nodded, “I know how that feels. Enjoyin’ yourself…then you look over and…where’d they go?”

Steve said just pointed at the screen as it showed Triton happily imagining who the lucky merman to get his daughter was, “Shh.”

Bucky shook his head and scratched Alpine on the ears when she nudged his hand for attention. They both watched Triton question Sebastian and Sebastian try, and fail, not to panic or say anything.

They both then tilted their heads at the sight of the statue in Ariel’s grotto.

“This reminds me…” Bucky started and Steve sighed, “Yeah. Of that one weapons dealer that had a shrine to you.”

“Look, I know it was weird…but…well it was weird and yeah. It does.” Steve said and gestured at the screen, “I wanna know something more important. How’d Flounder get that statue into the grotto? It sinks so it’s obviously heavy.”

You knew he was just trying to divert the attention off of that particularly strange and somewhat uncomfortable mission, but you paused anyway. Bucky was nodding in agreement with him. They were also both looking at you.

“Disney…” you reminded them and they looked at you, eyebrows raised, “Look I don’t know how Flounder got the statue into the grotto. I don’t think it’ll even fit through the skylight. It’s a cartoon. For all we know he had a bunch of his family help him move it. Just watch the movie and stop questioning cartoon logic.”

They both nodded and you hit play. They grimaced at the sight of Triton watching his daughter swim about and cling to the statue of Eric. They watched the argument that took place, both shaking their heads.

Then they both scowled when Triton charged up the trident and destroyed all of Ariel’s treasures. Then Bucky scowled even more when the eels showed up and started talking.

“No.” he said and Steve looked at him.

“I mean, I can see how she’s tempted.” He said and Bucky looked at him scowling, “It’s not the same.”

“Of course you’d see how she’s tempted.”

“Don’t you two start arguing.” You said and hit play and they watched Ariel swim off with the two eels and Sebastian try to stop her.

“I agree completely with everything the crab says about Ursula. Stay the hell away from Tentacle Lady.” Bucky said and groaned when Ariel told the crab off, “Of course.”

“Well at least he’s not giving up.” Steve said and they looked at Ariel’s lair, “Okay she has an evil villain lair.”

“Yeah…that’s not creepy or a warnin’ sign.” Bucky added while petting Alpine, “She’s livin’ in the skeleton of a giant sea dragon thing. Sure. Totally fine. The shriveled-up husks of the Sea Witch’s victims are trying to stop you and you keep on going because this is such a good idea.”

You just let Bucky complain as Ursula talked and you looked at both him and Steve when she started singing. They both scowled. Then they gave her a new name.

“Zola.” They both said and you paused the movie while looking at them and they gestured at the screen.

“You can’t say we’re wrong.” Steve said, “HYDRA scientist. Got arrested. Given a reprieve by the government to start over and work for them. Still completely devoted to HYDRA and evil the whole time.”

Bucky nodded, “Yeah. ‘Oh, Sargent Barnes, you look so weak and tired, here let me strap you to this gurney and make you feel all better with my homebrewed super soldier serum’. That is Madam Zola.”

“She’s a cartoon character, boys.” You reminded them, hit play, then paused again when Ursula gave Ariel three days.

“Three days?!” Steve asked and you nodded.

“Same amount of time in the original story.” You said and they shook their heads and shook their heads when Ursula asked if she and Ariel had a deal.

They then shook their heads again when she asked for Ariel’s voice as payment. They watched in horror as Ursula made the potion while going on about how Ariel wouldn’t need her voice because human men really only wanted quiet women that were pretty and dumb. Both just shook their heads with sighs yet before they could say anything about that they were both face palming when Ariel signed the contract.

The wide-eyed look on their face while Ursula cackled insanely, shaded green on the tv was almost comical. Alpine hissing at the screen was, but you managed to hold it in

They watched as Sebastian and Flounder rushed Ariel to the surface after she was turned human. Alpine watched as well, meowing when the dog Max appeared on the screen again as Eric daydreamed about Ariel’s voice. Steve’s eyes narrowed.

“He’s not gonna recognize her because she can’t talk.” He said and you smiled.

“Mmmm…maybe.” You said and they watched as Ariel marveled over her feet and toes.

Then they shook their heads as Scuttle arrived and tried to guess what was different about her until Sebastian blurted it out angrily then began freaking out and panicking. They watched as he slowly understood when Ariel looked at him before agreeing to help her. Then raised their brows when Scuttle said he was going to dress Ariel like a human.

“Oh this’ll be good.” Steve said and Bucky nodded, petting Alpine when she cuddled into him more as Max barked, “Just a cartoon dog, Al.”

“Mao.” She replied and Bucky nodded.

“Not real.” He said and nodded at what Scuttle dressed Ariel in, “I was imagining much worse actually.”

“Yeah.” Steve nodded, “So was I.”

You nodded in agreement and watched as they watched while Eric discovered Ariel and she smiled at him excitedly.

Then you waited as Eric looked at her, staring into her eyes as if he had a revelation only to say she looked familiar as he looked at her thoughtfully. Thoughtfully but cluelessly and obviously not remembering the person that saved his life.

“Have we met?”

Steve looked at Bucky. Bucky hit the pause button himself and looked at Steve and then you. You tried not to smile, but it was a lost cause.

“Yeeessss?” you asked and he licked his lips, eyes narrowed as he gathered his thoughts and Steve just smiled slowly and full of amusement that bordered on mischief mixed with retribution.

“I’ll get you for this.” He said and you blinked at him as innocently as you could, “Don’t give me that. You’re both telling me that I’m Eric.”

“Yes.” You nodded and smiled more, “And if you start trying to get me back for it…we’re gonna watch Alien next and that will give you nightmares.”

“We already know aliens exist.” Bucky said and you tilted your head with a smile.

“How about the kind that burst out of your chest after hugging your face against your will?” you asked and he looked at you in horror, “Yeah…so…shush and watch the nice animated cartoon movie where you get to be an oblivious prince and Steve is a sheltered mermaid that thinks forks are hairbrushes.”

Steve laughed until he scowled, “I am not Ariel.”

“You are so Ariel.” Bucky retorted and you hit play so they could watch Ariel and Eric interact and watch her try to pantomime an explanation to him that she lost her voice before falling into his arms, “Yep. You.”

“Shut up, Eric.” Steve retorted and Bucky scowled at him.

“Knock it off.” You said with a smile, “Ariel.”

They both quieted down so you hit play again, the scene with Ariel enjoying her first bubble bath playing out with Sebastian being subjected to a scrubbing board and then being flattened. They both grimaced at it then tilted their heads when he was just flattened. A look from you silenced them, causing them to nod and mumble “cartoon, right” before watching as Sebastian landed in the kitchen.

“Oh no…” Steve said and you smiled as Sebastian fainted at the sight of stuffed crabs.

They then watched as Eric argued with Grimsby before staring in awe at how pretty Ariel was when she was presented to him. They nodded as he pushed her chair in for her, clearly approving, then they both shook their heads when she started to use the fork to brush her hair and blew into the pipe. What really got a reaction from them was hearing the chef’s “special” was.

“Stuffed…”

“Crab?”

“Yep.” You smiled, “And now the musical number Les Poissons. Queue the crazy French chef guy singing about how much he loves fish and cooking them…with murderous glee.”

“What?” they both asked and you just pointed at the screen.

They jumped as he started chopping up the fish with hard zealous strikes of his cleaver. Faces contorted in confused horror while Sebastian nearly puked at the sight of it. Looking at them you could see they felt sorry for the crab.

Looking at Alpine you could tell she was getting hungry.

“Hee hee hee…”

“Haw…haw…haw…”

You snickered but didn’t pause.

“Zut Alors! I have missed one!”

“Run Sebastian! Run!” Bucky said and Steve nodded.

“Guy loves his job but there’s something not right in his head.” Steve added, eyes wide as the chef started to prepare the little crab and stuff him, “He’s still alive!”

“Eh? What is this? Oh!”

They both jumped as the music shifted and Sebastian began fighting back and trying to escape. Heads bobbed to the music as smiles spread across their faces. At least until Louis the chef dove headfirst towards Sebastian with the cleaver in his hand.

“I think I’d better go see what Louis is up to.”

“You really don’t want to do that, ma’am.” Steve said and Bucky shook his head.

“No…it’s…gonna be bad.” He said and flinched at the mess depicted in the next scene then stared Steve at the sight of the chef’s torn clothes and disheveled appearance, “You need a new job.”

“I hope they’re not gonna serve her fish…” Steve said they watched Eric gaze at Ariel and Bucky smiled.

“See. He recognizes her. He’s not me.”

“Mhmm…” you nodded, knowing fully well what was gonna happen later and they watched Sebastian scamper across the table into Ariel’s dish she slammed shut before agreeing to join Eric on a tour of his kingdom the next day.

“Wonderful! Now let’s eat before this crab wanders off my plate!” Grimsby said with a smile.

“Too late.” You all said at the same time and laughed lightly then watched Ariel gaze down at Eric playing with his dog only to wave shyly and retreat bashfully into her room when he noticed her.

“And she’s still using the fork to brush her hair…” Bucky said and listened to Sebastian talk about the day being the single most humiliating one of his life then watched Ariel sink into the bed.

Both Steve and Bucky nodded but otherwise were silent while listening to Sebastian go on about what to do the next day to Ariel to get Eric to kiss her. That’s when the silence ended.

“Crabs don’t have lips.” Steve said and Bucky looked at him.

“Cartoon.” He reminded him and nodded when seeing that Ariel was asleep, “Yep. She takes advice as well as you do, too.”

You just shook your head at the two, “Don’t start.”

They nodded and watched as the seahorse ran back to Triton, reporting that they couldn’t find Ariel or Sebastian anywhere. They were clearly conflicted about how they felt about Triton at this point. Seeing a need for them to voice this you paused on the image of Triton sitting on his throne regretfully.

“You lost your temper is what you did.” Bucky said and Steve nodded.

“Yeah, after being a racist jerk, but…I have to give it to him…he at least seems to care about his kids.” He said and you nodded as did Bucky.

“Yeah…just wants to keep ‘em safe. Can’t blame him for that…but…y’know…if he wasn’t so hardheaded this might not have happened.”

“Yeah, but Ursula would have still found a way to interfere.” Steve said and Bucky nodded vigorously.

“Oh yeah. No doubt. She’s still gonna do something horrible.” He said and you nodded and pressed play when they signaled for you to.

They watched as Ariel was given a tour of the kingdom, enjoying the sights, scenes, and activities, including dancing. Bucky nodded with approval, for a moment. Then he shook his head.

“No…no…don’t let her drive! She’s Steve! You don’t let Steve…drive.” He said and shook his head as Ariel took off.

“I don’t drive like that.” Steve protested and gestured at the screen, “Besides they’re fine. See?”

You just shook your head and they looked at the screen when Scuttle said that the scene called for vocal romantic stimulation.

“I do not think ‘seagull song’ as romantic stimulation.” Bucky said with a chuckle Steve shared while shaking his head.

“No. Yes, Sebastian you’re surrounded by amateurs.” He said and tilted his head, “How’d they all know to listen to him?”

Bucky sighed, “Because Sebastian is a famous court composer. I don’t know. Shh, maybe you can learn something about setting a mood for once.”

“What’s that mean?” Steve said and you looked at him.

“Shh.” You said and he sighed and they watched, then watched Eric try to guess Ariel’s name.

“She does not look like a Mildred.” Bucky said and Steve shook his head.

“Rachel isn’t too bad. Wait, he can actually understand Sebastian?” Steve asked and you nodded.

“Disney movie.” You reminded him and they watched as the animals sang and then as the flamingos shut Scuttle up before the kiss was interrupted by the eels knocked them both out of the water.

“I knew it!” Bucky said and pointed at the screen, “Don’t you call Ariel a tramp you over-purpled calamari broad! I hope Jaws eats you.”

“What is she doing?” Steve asked you and you just pointed at the screen.

“Just watch and Jaws isn’t in this movie.” You said and Bucky looked at you still gesturing at the screen as Eric played his flute and moped.

“There’s a shark! That counts!” he said and you nodded then they both glared when Ariel’s voice started playing out of the shell around the mysterious woman’s neck and cast the spell on Eric.

“Oh…hell no!” Bucky growled while staring wide-eyed full of wrath at the screen.

“Shit.” You thought to yourself, “Movie! Cartoon! Calm…down…”

“Did she just brainwash Eric?” Steve asked and you threw a piece of popcorn at his head, “Hey! No throwin’ food!”

“Shut up!” you said and gestured at Bucky glaring at the screen.

“She’s right, Buck. It’s a movie.” He said and Bucky nodded, taking a deep breath.

“Right. Movie. Cartoon. Disney.” The ex-assassin nodded, relaxing then scowled at Scuttle flying in and excitedly babbling to Ariel “He’s getting married…not to Ariel. He’s getting married to that evil b-yep. There she is.”

“Oh no…” Steve said, shaking his head.

“I know and if this were the original story you’d be both very upset, but this is Disney.” You said and they looked at you briefly before scowling at Ursula singing in the mirror, “In the original story he does get married to some princess he thought rescued him, but it’s not the sea witch, though she does try to get Ariel to stab them both with a dagger so she doesn’t turn into sea foam.”

“What?” they asked and you gestured at the screen as Scuttle asked if he’d ever been wrong.

“Yes.” They both said.

“When it’s important?!”

“Debatable.” Bucky said and they watched Sebastian make a plan and put Scuttle to work stalling the wedding after having Flounder tow Ariel, “Okay so the fish is stronger than he looks.”

“Apparently.” Steve said and ate some popcorn, “I wanna see what Scuttle does.”

“Mh.” Bucky nodded as he ate some of his own snack and they watched him squawk and gather the other wildlife, “This’ll be good.”

They then watched as Ursula’s human form kicked the dog Max, scowling. Bucky scowled intensely at the sight of Eric just standing there stock still, responding “I do.” Like a robot. At least until the animals attacked.

Then the most satisfied smirk appeared on his face. Steve chuckled as he looked at Bucky and watched the ensuing chaotic fight, including Max pausing before biting down hard on the “bride’s” butt.

“Good dog.” He said and both frowned when the shell amulet broke until realizing it was a good thing, breaking the mind control on Eric, but both of them frowned as they talked, “Shut up and kiss already!”

Ursula cackled as the sun set and you had to physically sit on Bucky to stop him from leaping at the screen when the witch grabbed Ariel and gloated. Steve launched out of the couch and grabbed Alpine in mid-leap the screen, having let out an affronted growl at it.

“No!” he told her, landing on the floor before holding her as he got up, “It’s just a movie.”

“Movie!” You reminded Bucky as he scowled and pointed his finger at the screen.

“S’not fair! S-she violated the contract! She interfered!” he protested and you nodded as he watched Triton bargain with Ursula to save his daughter.

“I know, Buck, but it’s gonna be okay.” Steve said while comforting the cat.

“That’s not how royal succession works!” Bucky scowled and Steve nodded.

“I know, but movie. Movie.” You said and pointed as Eric stopped Ursula from hurting Ariel, “See, they’re gonna fight back. It’s gonna be a battle, but it’s gonna be okay.”

He took a deep breath but nodded and smirked when Ursula zapped her own eels, “Good. Wait…what’s she doin’?”

“Well…she’s made herself a bigger target.” Steve said and Bucky nodded, watching Ursula brag about her power and bring up the sunken ship.

“Yeah, a very big target for a very big spear.” He said and nodded when Eric rammed the boat straight through Ursula, “Good.”

Steve nodded as well but didn’t question how Eric got to the shore so fast, he was busy petting Alpine, calming her from seeking revenge on the tv for upsetting Bucky, “Yeah. See, princess? The bad lady’s gone. All gone.”

“This better have a happy endin’ or I swear…” Bucky grumbled and you nodded while pointing at the screen as Ursula’s garden captives were transformed back to normal, including Triton.

They watched Triton show remorse, looking at Sebastian when he said kids needed to be free. They both shook their heads at that before smiling when Triton expressed how much he was going to miss his daughter before turning her into a human. Both were emotional as the music picked up and transitioned to the two getting married after kissing.

They then laughed when Louis the Chef returned to chase Sebastian only for the crab to win once again by cutting a rope. They then both watched Triton embrace his daughter before letting her go be with her new husband, sailing off into the rainbow together.

The credit music started playing after the last kiss, you hesitated for a moment, “So…maybe…maybe you’re not ready for Disney movies just yet. That…uh…that had a strong reaction…”

“Ursula is pure evil and shoulda been chopped, fried, and put in some Japanese sushi dish you feed to prisoners.” Bucky said with a scowl and Steve nodded.

“Music was good though.” He said and Bucky nodded, relaxing a bit as the music played again.

“Yeah. Scuttle was funny.” He added and Steve nodded.

“Animation was gorgeous.” He said and Bucky nodded.

“Oh yeah. Absolutely. All of the animation was great. Different from Snow White but still Disney and great.”

“What are the sequels like?” Steve asked and you shook your head.

“We’re not watching the sequels right now. You two need a break.”

1 Week Later

“Bucky…what the hell did you order?” you asked as you set the box down on the table that had just been delivered.

Steve set his coffee cup down to stare at the large box and nodded, “Yeah…Buck…what is that?”

“I ordered some cat toys for Alpine.” He answered and opened the box with one of his knives and you started shaking your head when you saw what it all was.

“Really, Bucky?” you asked and he smiled and tossed the Ursula shaped kicker toy on the floor that Alpine promptly launched herself at to punish followed by two jingling Flotsam and Jetsam toys she smacked repeatedly with her paw.

“Good girl.” Bucky said with a smile and sipped his coffee.

A/N: I couldn't help the comparison between Bucky and Eric and Steve and Ariel. I mean...I only have so much restraint. As for Bucky's reaction, well...he feels strongly about things. Time to decide the next one!

I hope you enjoyed it! Please feel free to let me know! I appreciate all likes, I do because it lets me know you like it, but if you really like it reblog it and if you really really like it comment and tell me, write some tags, send an unhinged gif. It's all accepted and I'm not picky, just let me know.

That is all.

Ao3 Link: Super Soldier Theater: The Little Mermaid

Series Masterlist🍿MASTER Masterlist

Taglist: @maryevm

Previous Movie:Jaws

Next Movie: Monty Python & The Holy Grail

🍿Winner: Money Python & The Holy Grail🍿

[incorrect-camelot]

my thoughts on monty python and the holy grail as it pertains to bbc merlin

merlin and leon were writers for the movie.

the whole movie is to bully arthur and the knights but merlin doesnt tell them that, just lets them figure it out. he tells them he wanted to memorialize them in any way he could, and he figured this best

the weird little subtitiles bit in the beginning it to annoy the absolute fuck out of arthur when he returns because he knows arthur will just want the movie to start and not have to deal with some bullshit beforehand

patsy is 100% george. merlin hates george.

the swallows guys at the beginning are played by merlin and leon. do not argue with me

dennis is based off will

the witch is them bullying morgana

the knights of the round table song is to get back at the knights for letting arthur make merlin juggle that one time

all the religious imagery is because merlin still practices the old religion and he's making fun of christians and i will not take criticism on that

the french guys are also played by leon and merlin

leon let merlin write most of the dialogue for the french because he remembers all the shit merlin would say to arthur

the trojan horse rip off is to bully the knights for all their poorly thought out plans

sir robin is merlin taking the worst traits of the knights and putting them together in one man

the three headed knight is showing how the knights only ever shared one braincell

since galahad, robin, and (if i remember correctly) bedevere dont exist in bbc merlin they are not those people from legend

galahad is used to bully gwaine specifically. because galahad is "galahad the pure" and gwaine was anything but

and surrounding him by women he isnt allowed to touch because he's too pure, and of course, eventually tries to give in because it's gwaine in disguise

when the knights return and merlin and leon force them to watch it, gwaine is screaming at the tv telling galahad that chastity isnt worth it

dingo breaks the fourth wall and says how much she enjoys the scene and how she was concerned when "the boys" were writing it and i just know merlin and leon forgot about that and they cant help but laugh at it

bedevere stays with arthur the whole movie. its leon and merlin's joint self insert. they use him as a way to poke fun at each other, but also show their undying loyalty to arthur

the knights who say ni are uther and his court of camelot and their ridiculous demands of arthur

herbert and his father are of course to show that uther didnt care about arthur's happiness.

tim is dragoon for sure. merlin just thinks he's funny reminding them of everything dragoon put them through

the rabit is mordred. looks so cute and innocent, but in the end wasn't

in monty python they lose gawain just like in bbc merlin they lose gwaine 😊

the holy hand grenade fiasco is because arthur can be given very clear instructions and still fuck up

the bridge of death with arthur and the bridge guy is just a retelling of a conversation merlin and arthur once has

and merlin at first didnt know which swallow, then decided "fuck it i'll just pick one" and asked more specifically and arthur didn't have an answer because he doesnt actually know he just wanted to sound smart

athur is wearing a sun. because he was the sun to merlin's moon.

at the end of the movie, maybe people come out of nowhere to defend arthur because duhhh

bedevere was with arthur from the beginning (like leon) and until the very end (like merlin)

and that concludes my thoughts on how monty python and the holy grail relates to bbc merlin

[capn-atlas]

Introduction :3 (Please read this before following)

[disclaimer- this post is not screenreader friendly. here is the link to the screenreader friendly one]

collective names--- Captain, Atlas, Anna, Cheshire, Saffron, and moots can use Atty/Addy

collective pronouns--- he/she/they/xe/any

collective genders--- genderfluid, non-binary

quick alter intros---

Anna/Atlas, she/xe/he/they/star/ze/any, *bodily age*, host, no full intro, this post is mainly written by me and is basically my full intro, I am an age regressor and I regress to around 3-4 years old Lennon, he/they/star/xe, 16, big brother of the system, new intro currently in prorgress, in an in-sys relationship with Maddelleine Eva, she + any neos, 6, syskid, full intro 1 (by Eva), full intro 2 (by Anna) Riko, he/him, 8, syskid/"Eva regulator", full intro (by Riko) Enzo, he/him, 7, syskid, full intro 1 (by Enzo), full intro 2 (by Anna) Maddelleine, she/her/him, 16-20 (age slider), protector//syskid caretaker, full intro (by Anna), in an in-sys relationship with Lennon Starwork, she/it/xe, age unknown, no role, no full intro Athena, she/her, age unknown, no role, no full intro Bella, she/her/they, 10, no role, no full intro Arley, she/they/bun/he, 3-5 (age slider), syskid, full intro (by Arley/unknown cofronter) Maxie/Bingo, he/they, 3, syskid, full intro (by Maxie and Anna)

we are an endogenic system. Anti-endos will not be tolerated on this blog. If you are anti-endo, please DNI. Endo-neutrals are okay.

I am very done with labels but uh girl pretty and no sex woohoo (basically lesbian/neptunic asexual or some shit idk man)

theriotypes--- brown wolf (Anna), black cat (Anna), brown rat (Anna), moth (not sure what type) (Anna), red fox (Lennon), meerkat (Enzo), prairie dog (Enzo), border collie (Riko), t-rex (Eva), tabby cat (Maddelleine)

fictionkin-types--- Cheshire Cat (Alice in Wonderland) (Anna), Mabel (Gravity Falls) (Eva)

otherkin-types--- alien (Anna, Riko, and Eva), deer cryptid (Anna), angel (Anna and Athena), winged cat (Bella)

objectkin-types--- doll (Anna), puppet (Anna)

current interests--- Only Murders in the Building, Wednesday (the show), Wicked (the musical, movie, and book), My Little Pony (Friendship is Magic, and we're on season two), botulism (a disease), Sweet Tooth, Arcane, Chicago (the musical)

currently watching--- MLP- FIM (season three), Call the Midwife (ITS A GOOD SHOW) (season nine)

favourite shows--- GLEE!!!!,Only Murders in the Building, The Owl House, Gravity Falls, MLP, Call the Midwife (I watch it with my mom it's actually a good show don't make fun of us), Wednesday, Bob's Burgers, My So-Called Life, A Series of Unfortunate Events, Sweet Tooth, Arcane

favourite movies--- Nimona, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, The Princess Bride, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Tangled, Beauty and the Beast, The Little Mermaid,

favourite musicals/movie musicals--- Wicked, Rent, Hairspray, The Greatest Showman (Ik Barnum was actually like. A horrible guy but The Other Side is so good that I don’t care actually), Come From Away, Chicago

poetry we've written care for some really depressing words?

our art request blog: @capn-atlas-art-requests

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guys be nice. ^ as you can see, a morbid goose protects this blog. @mxmorbidmidnight is that morbid goose. ze will come for your head. (if ur not nice)

[sleepyisnotagamer]

wizard101 worlds in sort of order but I tell it how it really is

Wizard City - you've been isakai-ed off of Earth by this old man and his owl and suddenly you're like the chosen one who has to save the city and fix everybody's problems. you get the feeling that this theme will continue.

Krokotopia - the kroks sure are here but it ain't a utopia, it's a takeover! and also these archeologist dogs are here. you don't know it yet but you hate them.

Grizzleheim - your scandanavian sanctuary against the evils of the world(s). also there's evil in this one but you're having a good time about it. only little bits of saving at a time.

Marleybone - this is where those dogs are from and yeah, they suck. cats are the enemy for no good reason and you'd prefer not to save the smog-ridden sky but you're a good person.

Wysteria - aren't you supposed to be speedrunning through the worlds so you can catch this necromancer dude? why are you suddenly asked to take part in a wizard school competition that feels depressingly like cleaning up yet another set of messes (because you are. cleaning up other peoples' messes. again.)?

Mooshu - this is a breath of fresh air, and you feel cheered by the color in the world. you're really not into how many miles you have to run to save it, though. also is like all of asia here? accidentally?

Dragonspyre - this is where the big baddie you've been trying to apprehend this whole time comes from. it's in ruins now but you can judge the architecture anyway. after tromping through far too many red-bricked streets you stop the man from resurrecting his dead wife and surely you will never see him again.

Celestia - so apparently some aliens (in a universe of separate worlds that are inhabited by mostly anthropomorphic animals and sometimes humans are here too) invented astral magic and you should team up with those blasted archeology dogs to learn it. so you do, because you are but a pawn in this game. it sucks.

Zafaria - you explore africa at large to rescue some students and along the way meet an archnemesis, learn to loathe elephant tombs, and don't catch the new baddie on the horizon: goth lady.

Avalon - you're stuck in an entirely unfunny version of monty python and the holy grail and it's just young wizard and the quests that you didn't sign up for. this sword you get doesn't make up for the dragons you have to slay.

Azteca - this is a beautiful world and you know what? you're rather keen to save it. there's a comet looming and as the chosen one you're destined to save the world from the apocalypse. that doesn't happen. you don't save the world. you don't- you don't save the world. also dead wife guy is a zombie now?!

Khrysalis - welcome to bug world, please don't state your name for the record and: infiltrate the shadow ranks, save a precious deermouse bean, spend way too long finding all kinds of new bugs for your monster collection, meet this totally harmless hermit guy and finally squash that goth lady.

Polaris - so it turns out the harmless hermit guy was actually a super old cosmic entity named grandfather spider, very estranged husband of grandmother raven, who by the way has been in your ear from time to time during your questing. anyway spider is bad so let's go join a couple entirely separate revolutions and don't freeze out there in the snow. also. Ratsputin.

Arcanum - oh by the way, even though you spent all your time doing extracurriculars (saving the spiral), you've still managed to graduate wizard school! so you get to go to wizard university! yay.

Mirage - you get the distinct impression that you're in a very extended reference but, gee, idk, whatever could it be? anyway you cross the deserts and fight the spider guy and he gets away, taking a new friend that you just made with him. dang. you just can't have nice things.

Empyrea - you get to use a space ship! unfortunately it comes with annoying pigs. but you get to experience top pop culture, and there's a bat! man. you labor throughout this endless world until you finally get to...sing songs and get the most ancient couple in the world back together. hooray? the spiral is saved. probably.

Karamelle - what if. what if candyland was not, in fact, a wonderful magical place, but a bureaucratic nightmare? it would not be fun.

Lemuria - it's a good time! there's a neo-noir detective mystery to solve, and also this guy that isn't anything is becoming something! and he is your friend. this is very important.

Novus - so the colonizers are colonizing and you are not a fan of that. and the nothing-something guy that is your friend is having an existential crisis but that makes sense because he kinda just pseudo-exists. sort of. he's like. um. becoming a world!

Wallaru - the dreaming! is bad. and the combat wombats! are uncanny. and. and you have to defeat this frog. and deal with petulant spiky balls that lowkey drive you to drink...dreamwater, maybe. but uh. you do it! wait, did you just save it all? everything? that's kinda chosen one-core, babe.

Selenopolis - what if - and hear me out - you went back to krokotopia. but this time you went to a section where you got to learn new magic skills and learned how to cheat at cards? well. learned how your enemies cheat at cards, anyway. and! it was. nice looking. eh?

presumably you acquired some sort of dwelling place where you have lots of nice couch potatoes growing and your pets scamper about and you can just chill where nobody can bother you. and your achievements only have to happen on a volunteer basis. and you can make stuff. and show off your stuff. and not save the world. again.

[bree-cheesy]

HC's: Friends To Lovers with Ted

Nsfw and Sfw (Minors gtfu)

Ya'll it's been a fat minute. I'm sorry! Btw, I've never written hc's so be patient with me pls😭Tried my best to keep it gn!reader. The smutty parts don't really go with the friends to lovers stuff, but it's still smut so just take it, sluts.

I'm writing a different person, everyone should be so proud of me.

Now, some head cannon's with Mr. Nivison himself

Sfw:

Ted giving you flirty nicknames such as sweetheart, babe, love, etc >>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Being the jealous best friend.

"He's just not good for you, sweets. You deserve better than that waste of space."

Movie nights that end with cuddling and a very flustered Ted in the morning.

Denying feelings for each other, even though everyone says you're in love with each other.

Realizing your feelings during a movie night when you guys were watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Getting fuzzy feelings when he laughs at something in the movie.

Avoiding him for weeks until he forces himself in your house, demanding you tell him what's going on.

When you finally tell him he cuts your ranting off by a kiss.

"Why didn't you just say something, babe? Loved you for years."

--------------------------------------------------

Nsfw:

WORHSHIPPING YOUR BODY.

The sight of your body was 1000x better then what he imagined while jerking off by himself so he just had to worship it.

Making you feel like the most amazing bitch alive.

"Yeah? My cock feel so good inside you, baby?"

Moaning and groaning sweet things in your ear.

King of face fucking.

Whining your name softly when you pull on his hair a little.

Making it so you can't walk and he has to carry you everywhere.

Def having a movie night after he blows your guts out.

Was that a good comeback post? I hope it was enough to satisfy y'all. I hope to drag in some new people with this post.

[star-dust78]

Old Godzilla was hopping around Tokyo City like a big playground When suddenly Batman burst from the shade And hit Godzilla with a Batgrenade Godzilla got pissed and began to attack But didn't expect to be blocked by Shaq Who proceeded to open up a can of Shaq-Fu When Aaron Carter came out of the blue

And he started beating up Shaquille O'Neal Then they both got flattened by the Batmobile But before it could make it back to the Batcave Abraham Lincoln popped out of his grave And took an AK-47 out from under his hat And blew Batman away with a rat-a-tat-tat But he ran out of bullets and he ran away Because Optimus Prime came to save the day

This is the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny Good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be This is the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny

Godzilla took a bite out of Optimus Prime Like Scruff McGruff took a bite out of crime And then Shaq came back covered in a tire track But Jackie Chan jumped out and landed on his back And Batman was injured, and trying to get steady When Abraham Lincoln came back with a machete But suddenly something caught his leg and he tripped Indiana Jones took him out with his whip

Then he saw Godzilla sneaking up from behind And he reached for his gun which he just couldn't find 'Cause Batman stole it and he shot and he missed And Jackie Chan deflected it with his fist Then he jumped in the air and did a somersault While Abraham Lincoln tried to pole vault Onto Optimus Prime, but they collided in the air Then they both got hit by a Care Bear stare

This is the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny Good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be This is the ultimate showdown

Angels sang out an immaculate chorus Down from the heavens descended Chuck Norris Who delivered a kick which could shatter bones Into the crotch of Indiana Jones Who fell over on the ground, writhing in pain As Batman changed back into Bruce Wayne But Chuck saw through his clever disguise And he crushed Batman's head in between his thighs

Then Gandalf the Grey and Gandalf the White And Monty Python and the Holy Grail's black knight And Benito Mussolini and the Blue Meanie And Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the Genie Robocop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader Lo-pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan All came out of nowhere lightning fast And they kicked Chuck Norris in his cowboy ass It was the bloodiest battle that the world ever saw With civilians looking on in total awe

The fight raged on for a century Many lives were claimed, but eventually The champion stood, the rest saw their better Mr. Rogers in a bloodstained sweater

This is the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny Good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be This is the ultimate showdown (The ultimate showdown) This is the ultimate showdown (The ultimate showdown) This is the ultimate showdown Of ultimate destiny

[rosenfey]

one of the autistic things I've done in the past that only made sense after my diagnosis was when a guy I was seeing invited me for "netflix and chill" and I proceeded to make him watch Monty Python's Holy Grail in its entirety because I wanted to shoehorn one of my comfort movies into this break in my regular schedule

a couple years later another guy invited me over to "watch" Red Dwarf together because we both liked the show, and I remember being very put off when he turned off the TV after the first episode was over and proceeded to make out with me because I'd rather just continue watching to be honest

[darlingzelda]

What TV shows/Movies/Books the Court of Darkness Characters would like

Guy: The Prince (Machiavelli)

this needs very little explanation

It’s a book about how aristocrats or political figures can gain power and maintain status. Also known for justifying the means to the ends. (which Guy has definitely been known to do.)

Toa: The Lord of the Rings (Tolkien)

We know Toa really likes to read stories and romance novels

LOTR is perfect because it’s deep, creative, compelling, and has hints of romance here and there while still having the overarching theme of resilience in hardships.

Fenn: Twilight (Meyer)

you’re telling me Fenn wouldn’t absolutely be a Twihard??

You can’t keep him away from cheesy supernatural romances that may or may not be toxic in every aspect.

He would eat that right up

Definitely comes up behind every single person in the academy and dramatically says “This is the skin of a killer” and then laughs maniacally

Violet has had enough

Roy: Pride and Prejudice (Austen)

Roy is definitely the type to swoon over dramatic romance novels

He’d sit there in his little garden with a cup of tea and just… read

He just gives the aura of someone who would love Jane Austen stuff

Lynt: Harry Potter (Rowling)

Lynt is just full of childlike wonder so it makes sense he’d like a classic series that we all grew up reading

Would 100% lay on a pillow and have Tino read it to him like a bedtime story

Lance: A Series of Unfortunate Events (Snicket)

He just seems the type to go nuts for melancholy

They’re very good books, but since he’s kind of hardcore he just reads them for leisure

Can definitely see him skipping class and lounging up in a tree to read

Knight: The Cat Returns (Miyazaki)

Do I even need to explain.

I feel like he would love Ghibli movies, but especially this one because literally almost all the characters are cats

Also appreciates the unique art style

Jasper: Sherlock Holmes (Doyle)

something about him just exudes an air of ‘mystery novel lover’.

It’s both classy and intriguing, which is the perfect mix for him

Kind of like a parallel to his Sirius alter ego where he goes out on secret missions for Guy

Always manages to solve the mystery before they even get to it

Violet: Real Housewives shows

She would absolutely eat that drama right up

Strikes me as a feral reality TV lover

She would get INTO it. Everyone passing by her room can hear either cackling or very loud swearing when she’s at it

Would sit there with a glass of wine and watch to ‘unwind'

Grayson: The Phantom of the Opera (Leroux)

Like Roy, he’s definitely a classics lover

Perfect balance of music, drama, and enjoyable mystery

Definitely likes both the book and the movie and would very much go see the musical every time it was showing

Makes him feel things??

Tino: Avatar: The Last Airbender

He just loves classic childhood shows like Lynt

Absolutely identifies with Aang and Katara

Probably hides his face with a blanket whenever Azula is on screen

Just really likes wholesome content

Excitedly explains the plot of every episode and backstory to Lynt (who’s half listening or falling asleep)

Rio: Monty Python and the Holy Grail

This man would go feral for comedy

Perfect mix of knights and comedic value

Roars with laughter anytime a joke lands

Definitely can be seen banging items together and pretending to ride a horse like they do in the movie

Laughs at the jokes every time no matter how many times he’s seen it

Aquia: Sleeping Beauty

No surprise that he’s a sucker for romance

Definitely loves every single classic Disney movie and even cries when he’s watching

He loves the part where the Prince rescues Aurora because he’s secretly wishing that he could be a prince like that someday

It’s his comfort movie

Lou: The Office US

Every. Single. Thing. makes him laugh

So deeply absorbed in every single side plot

Sitting there on the edge of his seat with wide eyes watching it all go down

It kind of reminds him of the situations he finds himself in every day

Has definitely tried to say “That’s what she said” without understanding what it means, and everyone else is just staring at him with horrified expressions

Finds Michael Scott so funny

So invested in the Jim/Pam plotline that he actually cries when they get together

Such a fangirl that he hosts a version of the Dundies for the princes/ valets

It does not go well

[sparrowsortadrawzzz]

OOH WAIT YOU GUYS ARENT READY-

Sir Grimlock of the Dinobot Order, anyone?? 👀 YOU HAVE TO HEAR ME OUT ON THIS REDESIGN-

G1 reminded me of like. that one French knight from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and then my best friend and I were like "woah it'd be so funny if he spoke in Ye Olde English and then when he gets pissed off he drops it for the G1 caveman speak-" CUZ CMON, THATD BE EPIC IF HE WAS LIKE. "I, with mine own 'rd'r, wast created to square f'r the harmony between thee Decepticons and the Autobots..but anon...." BEFORE BUSTING OUT WITH HIS CLASSIC "YOU MADE ME GRIMLOCK MAD, AND HURT GRIMLOCK FRIENDS..YOU. WILL. P A Y -" BEFORE TRANSFORMING TO HIS ALT MODE AND GOING APESHIT-

oh! I also think it'd be fun if he joined the Maximals after the war, cuz cmon, he only fights cuz Optimus is like "Grimlock, fuck em up-" and Grimlock is like "Okay but only cuz youre strong and leader-"

anyway I just think he's neat :33

[w3r1d0]

Old Godzilla was hopping around

Tokyo City like a big playground

When suddenly Batman burst from the shade

And hit Godzilla with a Batgrenade

Godzilla got pissed and began to attack

But didn't expect to be blocked by Shaq

Who proceeded to open up a can of Shaq-Fu

When Aaron Carter came out of the blue

And he started beating up Shaquille O'Neal

Then they both got flattened by the Batmobile

But before it could make it back to the Batcave

Abraham Lincoln popped out of his grave

And took an AK-47 out from under his hat

And blew Batman away with a rat-a-tat-tat

But he ran out of bullets and he ran away

Because Optimus Prime came to save the day

This is the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny

Good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see

And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be

This is the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny

Godzilla took a bite out of Optimus Prime

Like Scruff McGruff took a bite out of crime

And then Shaq came back covered in a tire track

But Jackie Chan jumped out and landed on his back

And Batman was injured, and trying to get steady

When Abraham Lincoln came back with a machete

But suddenly something caught his leg and he tripped

Indiana Jones took him out with his whip

Then he saw Godzilla sneaking up from behind

And he reached for his gun which he just couldn't find

'Cause Batman stole it and he shot and he missed

And Jackie Chan deflected it with his fist

Then he jumped in the air and did a somersault

While Abraham Lincoln tried to pole vault

Onto Optimus Prime, but they collided in the air

Then they both got hit by a Care Bear stare

This is the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny

Good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see

And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be

This is the ultimate showdown

Angels sang out an immaculate chorus

Down from the heavens descended Chuck Norris

Who delivered a kick which could shatter bones

Into the crotch of Indiana Jones

Who fell over on the ground, writhing in pain

As Batman changed back into Bruce Wayne

But Chuck saw through his clever disguise

And he crushed Batman's head in between his thighs

Then Gandalf the Grey and Gandalf the White

And Monty Python and the Holy Grail's black knight

And Benito Mussolini and the Blue Meanie

And Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the Genie

Robocop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader

Lo-pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger

Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan

Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan

All came out of nowhere lightning fast

And they kicked Chuck Norris in his cowboy ass

It was the bloodiest battle that the world ever saw

With civilians looking on in total awe

The fight raged on for a century

Many lives were claimed, but eventually

The champion stood, the rest saw their better

Mr. Rogers in a bloodstained sweater

This is the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny

Good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see

And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be

This is the ultimate showdown

(The ultimate showdown)

This is the ultimate showdown

(The ultimate showdown)

This is the ultimate showdown

Of ultimate destiny

[queer-ragnelle]

Hi! I was wondering if you had any advice on how to craft a well-written, compelling Arthurian OC that isn't obnoxious or out of place but is still unique. I recognize the difficulty in doing so with so many different source texts (I'm most familiar with Le Morte, so that's usually my go-to) and the vast list of already existing characters. I'm just curious about your thoughts on the matter, since you're an author and also very knowledgeable about Arthuriana 💖

Hello there!

This is a tough question to answer! I think it's important to note that everyone will have a different opinion on this, but that shouldn't alter you writing your story how you want to. Some think adding any characters at all is too big of a change, while others write a full cast of original characters and then Merlin shows up randomly and makes the story "Arthurian."

I'm going to say something controversial.

Every Arthurian character is an OC.

Even King Arthur himself is an OC.

I'm going to elaborate on this quite a bit, as it's very important to me. But the TL;DR is that reading more will definitely help you conceptualize the boundaries of what's possible. Le Morte d'Arthur is a great start, but there's so much out there, both medieval and modern, that'll undoubtedly aid in your Arthuriana writing journey! :^)

While I do say things like "I love Arthurian OCs" as a means to convey that I view everyone's new creations as valid and interesting, I actually don't believe in a strong differentiation between Chretien de Troyes' Sir Lancelot or Marie of France's Sir Lanval and what you or I are writing today. We're participating in a tradition which can, at times, necessitate the creation of a new character or repurposing of an existing one. I think as soon as you create a character for your Arthurian story, they're an Arthurian character. Some refer to Lancelot or Galahad as "French OCs" or call Knight of the Cart or the Vulgate "fanfiction" as a means to degrade it's validity. Some seem to have an arbitrary timeline on which the full body of Arthurian works is measured, and the more recently something was written, the less authentic it becomes. I think they're wrong. I believe that whether or not we enjoy an installment in the ever expanding Arthurian tradition is irrelevant; it's all equally entitled to a measure of respect, even the new characters. No character or story is lesser than another by virtue of its age or language of origin or target audience or medium. I disdain the excess of scrutiny put upon certain arbitrary groupings of Arthurian tradition. Each story is full of original characters and building on the foundations of what came before. That's the nature of creative influence. Whether or not Arthur was a real person at some point in history is moot. The guy in the Mabinogion or the Vulgate or Le Morte d'Arthur or BBC Merlin is a character. He's a tool to tell a story. Such as your creation will be! Your brand new Arthurian character stands equally with all the rest who preceded them. :^)

Now, it can be helpful to distinguish between a medieval character and a modern one, sure, as they may represent different things depending on what point in history (or part of the world) they were created in. But Arthuriana isn't a franchise one must obtain express permission to contribute to, and it doesn't have a "canon," so therefore differentiating a character as "other" can be counter productive when developing a story. I don't believe Sir Robin from Monty Python and The Holy Grail (1975) or Brian from The Adventures of Sir Lancelot (1956-1957) are any less valuable as characters, even if they do draw on traits of existing Arthurian motifs in order to commentate on them or otherwise expand. In fact I think they're great characters and serve their narrative roles beautifully. One simple and one complex. I recommend watching those to see how it's done well and that may help you develop your own characters. But I'll delve into it a bit here to illustrate what I mean.

Sir Robin carries the coat of arms of a chicken, he's a cowardly knight followed around by a troupe of musicians that sing songs about all of his exploits. That is, the things he's run away from. Rather than use an existing Arthurian character and degrading them, Monty Python developed Sir Robin in order to tell their joke.

The flipside is Brian, a bona fide kitchen boy, who attaches himself to Sir Lancelot and desires to squire for him. Brian's narrative purpose is to deconstruct the nobility in a way that Gareth Beaumains, whom Brian is plainly inspired by, could not. Brian begins as a true serf forced to endear himself to Sir Lancelot to elevate his station. Merlin forges papers of nobility to convince King Arthur that Brian is worthy of this privilege. Even after that, Brian must face the brutality of his fellows while living in the barracks with them, as they don't take kindly to a "smelly kitchen boy" in their midst, plotting to get Brian to incriminate himself as a thief and get evicted from Camelot by Sir Kay. This role is incongruous with Gareth as Sir Gawain's brother, who was always noble, always a prince, and merely cloaked himself in the guise of poverty to prove a point. Gareth could return to the comforts of wealth whenever it suited him and his reason for going stealth was to intentionally distance himself from that privilege. The character Brian exists in order to commentate on the injustice of the upper class's oppression and dehumanization of the lower class in a way Gareth, or even Tor, could not, as they are of noble blood, even if it came by way of reveal. That's why Brian is a great addition to the Arthurian tradition.

Really, it comes down to treating the creation of your new Arthurian character like you would developing one for any other work, one entirely separate from the tradition. If they're a good character, they're a good character! Try not to get hung up too much on whether or not they're going to mesh well with the rest of the cast. For centuries, writers have transformed historical figures into Arthurian characters. (See: King Mark of Kernow better known as the Cuckhold King from the Prose Tristan, Owain mab Urien better known as Sir Yvain from Knight of the Lion by Chretien de Troyes, Saint Derfel better known as Derfel Gadarn from The Warlord Chronicles by Bernard Cornwell, etc.)

Speaking of Prose Tristan, would anyone consider Sir Dinadan an OC? Or Sir Palomides? They're characters added to a story drawing from a much, much older tradition, and I think they enrich the story. I feel likewise about the many Perceval Continuations, including the German Parzival by Wolfram von Eschenbach, which adds a half brother named Sir Feirefiz, or names Chretien's anonymous haughty maiden Orgeluse. What about Sir Aglovale's son Moriaen in the Dutch tradition? Amurfina in German Diu Krone by Heinrich von dem Türlin? Morgan le Fay's daughter Puzella Gaia in Italian La Tavola Ritonda? Not to mention the countless Middle English additions. The Green Knight and his wife? Dame Ragnelle and Sir Gromer? Or how about everyone's favorite Savage Damsel, Lynette of Castle Perilous? Is she not a late-era addition to the tradition courtesy of the man, the myth, the legend, Sir Thomas Malory himself? And then here comes Tennyson, who read Le Morte d'Arthur, and got to the end of dear Gareth Beaumains' story and had the same reaction we all did: "What the hell? He marries her sister?" And then he went about changing that in Idylls of the King. Speaking of Lynette, what's up with her niece Laurel? She's just a name on a page, the vast majority of retellings choose to ignore her, even if they do keep Lynette and Lyonesse. Laurel can scarcely be called a character, after all. She doesn't even have dialogue. So as I've gone out of my way to make her a prominent, fully developed character, with her own culture and back story and motivations, does that make her an OC of mine? And Henry Newbolt who included Laurel in his play Mordred: A Tragedy. And Sarah Zettel, who wrote from Laurel's point of view in Camelot's Blood. We did all the work, but we threw an Arthurian name on the character, so therefore, she isn't ours? But if we changed her name, she would be? Who gets to decide?

All of the Arthurian characters belong to all of us. That's the beauty of writing in a long-standing tradition, which exists apart from all other forms of writing. We have complete creative liberty to do what we want and refer to it how we want and no person or corporation or anyone can dictate otherwise. The intellectual property of Arthuriana belongs to the people. So invent a brand new wife for Gawain, and well, you're only the millionth author to do it! Just make sure she's an interesting character and that's literally the only requirement. Can't wait to meet her. (And all others you create!)

Have a great day!

[myfaveisfuckable]

Killer rabbit:

Kills people

Pete:

(^little video that shows how not normal he is lol. cw for torture and violence)

starts off as the comic relief side character. gets kidnapped and tortured. laughs in the face of the man electrocuting his dick. ends up sleeping with him later (by choice. like he wants him), decides he's in love witht he single most crazy unhinged character in the show and reduces him to like crying in his noodles because Pete escaped the safe house torture/sex dungeon where he was kinda a prisoner. shoots his man in the arm (to keep from being killed by other people), beats the shit out of him (that one is for personal reasons), the man confesses his undying love and kisses him before running off, pete chases after him, has to point a gun at him again, the man runs off, pete quits his job and chases after him again, pete stops the man from killing himself and is like "I'm your pet, you're my owner, you have to feed me" (it's a callback from their days in the safehouse torture/sex dungeon), the man gets shot by someone else, and pete goes crazy kills the guy who shot him. so yeah he's totally just a silly comic relief character

[silly-l1ttle-guy]

HEADCANONS FOR DOPPIO HAVING THE WORST SLEEPOVER EVER WITH UNITÀ SPECIALE

ZEB I KNOW THIS WAS YOU.

DOPPIO HAS THE WORST FUCKING SLEEPOVER LITERALLY EVER

------

this poor, poor guy

Carne shows up first and Doppio just says "damn you're ugly"

Carne cries for the rest of the sleepover (i wanted an excuse to not include him)

Tizzano and Squalo show up like 5 minutes later

Doppio goes to say hi and they start making out in front of him

he's like "ew.... gay people"

ANYWAY they decide to watch Monty Python and the Holy Grail

don't ask

HALFWAY THROUGH THE MOVIE CIOCCOLATA AND SECCO SHOW UP

THEY WERE NOT INVITED

Cioccolata bullies Doppio into submission and everyone gangbangs him

Secco records

also Carne falls down the fucking stairs like Mari and dies

Diavolo decides to take control in the middle of the gangbang and shit gets KINKY

then everyone decides to behead Cioccolata

Secco get's to stay cuz he has pretty eyes in the manga

then they all wake up to Giorno and the gang standing over them

they're hungover as fuck and die on the spot

Doppio starts screaming and crying his pathetic little ass off about this being the worst sleepover ever

honestly the bucci gang feels bad for him so they just let him live

i wanna deepthroat Doppio

[lil-melody-moon]

tempted to ask all of the ask game questions(or at least most of them if there are some you'd like to skip)

You ask, you shall get them!

1. What is you middle name?

Ewelina

2. How old are you?

Pushing 27 this year!

3. When is your birthday?

22nd of July

4. What is your zodiac sign?

Cancer

5. What is your favorite color?

I have two actually, purple and blue, this year I turn to blue mostly. Hence why my side blogs are in blue colour

6. What’s your lucky number?

7 or 9 I believe or any number that is uneven

7. Do you have any pets?

Lady canary who is showing her arse to me - it's the time of the year

8. Where are you from?

Poland

9. How tall are you?

162 cm, shorty really

10. What shoe size are you?

39 or 40, it depends on the shoe

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

In general? Umn... Around 8

12. What was your last dream about?

I was at some place with cute fluffy dogs that looked like orbs, I was playing with them, they were cute!

13. What talents do you have?

I have talent for writing and getting ideas out of thin air. You give me a prompt and I'm 99% sure I'll come up with something for either me x Uncle Ernie ship or me x Keith Moon ship

14. Are you psychic in any way?

My gut feeling is never wrong, so if it tells me something is not good for me, I listen to it. So far, decision made based on it were always good

15. Favorite song?

My beloved 💜

16. Favorite movie?

Do I even have one, huh... WAIT, I DO! "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

He would be my friend who I could laugh with and be stupid with. Also, we'd share our interests and were interested in one another. No shrugging or ignoring when the other rambles about a thing they got into lately

18. Do you want children?

YES. Not now, but when I'll have a job and perhaps find a guy who meets my criteria - what's above is not really anything big to wish for - I would be down for a kid or two

19. Do you want a church wedding?

Yeah, why not 💜

20. Are you religious?

Not that much, I don't attend masses, but I am faithful to Christianity, even if I find Asian religion interesting

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

Yes, but not as patient.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

Nope

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

Nope

24. Baths or showers?

Showers, they're quicker

25. What color socks are you wearing?

White!

26. Have you ever been famous?

I think not a big scale, but I have fans who like my fics, so I think that's a small amount of fame 💜

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

Oh no no, I rather live my life in peace while nobody knows me

28. What type of music do you like?

Classic rock mostly, but heavy metal is not far away, specifically thrash metal

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

Nope, didn't have a chance

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

One, the one my grandma bought me years ago

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

I usually sleep on my right side, but lately I can't sleep on it. Like usual when my period is running late or when it's coming.

32. How big is your house?

I live in a flat, 2 rooms, 1 kitchen, 1 bathroom and a hall.

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

Bread with something. Eggs, tomatoes, cheese, various things. I keep eating something else each day to not grow bored. Whatever comes to my mind I eat it.

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

Nope, guns are illegal in Poland

35. Have you ever tried archery?

Once at a school trip! I barely remember it, showed memories from primary school in the "forget it" basket in my brain

36. Favorite clean word?

"Ano", which can be roughly translated to "yeah"

37. Favorite swear word?

"Pierdolić", which can be roughly translated to "fucking". You can express everything with this one word

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

One whole day and night on a school trip because one bitch was snoring the entire night and I cannot fall asleep when I hear something

39. Do you have any scars?

Yes, on my right cheek from pimples

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

Yes and he wrote to me a few days ago. I'm going to meet with him at Friday, telling him that I cannot be his girlfriend because his sudden confession after 6 years of not talking is weird, I don't have any shared interests with him and he's just boring. Also, asking to become his girlfriend after one full day of texting because we've talked for 3 months 6 years ago? Dude, I was 22 back then, I was a stupid idiot with a crush that disappeared long time ago.

41. Are you a good liar?

Yeah, when i have to I lie and nothing ever slipped

42. Are you a good judge of character?

Yeah I am. I can tell by the looks of someone if I'm gonna be on good terms with them or not

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

Nope

44. Do you have a strong accent?

Yeah, I have Silesian accent and I also know the dialect so my voice varies from deep to very deep, depending if I'm talking in dialect or in Polish

45. What is your favorite accent?

As of now, British one, the one Keith had, not the Posh one - as always, I don't know how it is called XD

46. What is your personality type?

INFJ - random piece of trivia, based on this page, the same as Pete Townshend's and Serj Tankian's

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

The new jacket, paid for it 164 zloties I think

48. Can you curl your tongue?

YEAH

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

I don't know what that means, help XD

50. Left or right handed?

Right handed

51. Are you scared of spiders?

Not entirely. If I see a bigger one, yeah, I might freak out, but normally with te small, house ones? No, they are more afraid of me than I am of them

52. Favorite food?

FISH OUO

53. Favorite foreign food?

Empanadas 💜

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

Clean person

55. Most used phrased?

"Ya know"

56. Most used word?

Fuck

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

At morning? An hour. Normally? 10 minutes and I'm out

58. Do you have much of an ego?

I used to have, but now I don't have it. I know my worth but I'm not above anyone

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

Suck. Damn, I hadn't eaten a lollipop for a long time

60. Do you talk to yourself?

A lot! When I think out loud it's easier to think in general

61. Do you sing to yourself?

Not very often, but I did today, listening to "Quadrophenia"

62. Are you a good singer?

I like to think that I am XD

63. Biggest Fear?

Loosing people close to my heart, as in not letting go or something, just them dying

64. Are you a gossip?

Yeah, yeah I am, gossips are sometimes to die for IF they are not made up

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

I can put there any Chinese drama I've watched, but I'll put "Till the End of the Moon" here, still the best drama I've watched so far

66. Do you like long or short hair?

Long hair!

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

Nope- You really have 50 states? I can't remember 16 parts of my country, let alone 50 states XDDDD

68. Favorite school subject?

Polish! I love our literature

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

Kinda in between? I was once a introvert, but I changed and now I'm leaning more to the extrovert side

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

Nope

71. What makes you nervous?

Situations that stress me out, or the ones that make me recall the times I had the worst time of my life. The guy writing to me and asking me out unlocked the memories of when I was 22, I didn't like that one bit

72. Are you scared of the dark?

I think not. There was a moment in my life when I was, but that was due to me watching a found video footage horror at night

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

Not very often, only when they ask me to check a text for corrections

74. Are you ticklish?

Yes, on my neck, tummy and calves

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

Nope, I'm not kinda of bitch

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

Nope

77. Have you ever drank underage?

Nope, I didn't have a droplet of alcohol in my mouth - sweets with alcohol don't count

78. Have you ever done drugs?

Nope

79. Who was your first real crush?

A guy in preschool, he was sweet. We've became friends and then a childhood crush happened

80. How many piercings do you have?

Two, one on each ear

81. Can you roll your Rs?“

What does that even mean? XDDD *goes to educate herself* OHHHHH, yeah I can do that!

82. How fast can you type?

Very fast, friends usually gawk when I type

83. How fast can you run?

I didn't run for a long time, I don't know

84. What color is your hair?

Dark brown

85. What color is your eyes?

Green

86. What are you allergic to?

I don't have allergies

87. Do you keep a journal?

Nope, I once wanted to do that, but it's not my thing

88. What do your parents do?

Sitting at home. My dad once worked at a coal mine, he retired a long time ago. Mum is a housewife

89. Do you like your age?

Yeah, I'm glad I'm past 24!

90. What makes you angry?

When someone interrupts me or don't listen to me

91. Do you like your own name?

I usually do, but I hate when people are using it as if they talked to a little girl. The last time I wanted to strangle the woman who called me "Karolinka" :)

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

Only for a girl, I wanna name a girl "Małgorzata", "Margaret" in English

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

I'm fine with both, don't have preferences

94. What are you strengths?

My sheer will to live and that I didn't kill myself in the last year and in the past

95. What are your weaknesses?

My emotions and short-temper. I'm very easy to cry out of anger, stress, and I'm even quicker to blow a gasket

96. How did you get your name?

My mum heard it while attending a party and she liked it

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

I don't think so

98. Do you have any scars?

Hey, this question is repeated!

99. Color of your bedspread?

Light pink

100. Color of your room?

Blue and yellow, although I want to change the blue wallpaper to something lighter, I want this room to become more warm

[halfetirosie]

˖⁺‧₊˚ Shenanigans are Shenanigan-ing ˚₊‧⁺˖

(Marvels 01-02 React-os!)

WELL THEN, THIS IS QUITE THE DRAMATIC WAY TO COLD-OPEN AN EVENT...

(Me: *Opens the event*)

(*Immediately greeted with DEATH*)

Okay Game, you have my attention! Damn! XD

2) In WHAT UNIVERSE would Resident Giant Quincy and Tiny King Topper kill each other???

(No, really, in which universe? We already know about the Nu World Demon King's universe, so there's bound to be more...)

Honestly tho, the image of tiny Topper viciously fighting Quincy is honestly hilarious to me.

Like, have any of ya'll seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail? Remember the part with the bunny? I imagine it going something like that! (≧∇≦)

3) PFFFFFT!!!!! (≧∇≦)

♡ DRUNK TOPPER!!!! ♡

(I know he's old enough to be legally allowed to drink alcohol, but just because he can doesn't mean he should...)

4) Whoever does the lil' animations in the events should get a raise!!!

I know they're not super detailed---it's literally just moving PNGs around on the screen---but damn, if they aren't just the funniest and most charming things!!!

5) FINALLY, A GOOD VEST OUTFIT FOR EIDEN!!!!!

HONESTLY???? Loving it! With the unbuttoned shirt, sunglasses, and loose tie, it's giving me big

⁺˚⋆｡°✩ 1970s vibes! ✩°｡⋆˚⁺

6) Rei being an Introvert Icon; never telling the fam when they arrive or when they leave, not being noticed, people-watching...

7) REIIIII!!!! JUST LET THEM LOVE YOUUUU!!!!!

*heavy sigh*

Like, on the one hand, I relate to the introversion. But also, knowing what we know about Rei---bitch, he NEEDS THE HUMAN INTERACTION!!!

(Oh GOD, I'm starting to feel like a nagging grandmother now....WELL THAT'S TOO BAD, CUZ SOMETIMES THE OLD FOLKS' WISDOM IS CORRECT!!!!!)

8) 🚨🚨🚨 HOT GUY ALERT!!!! 🚨🚨🚨

Yoooo, the fashion sense of this dude is RIDICULOUS (positive)!!!!

Is he a bird yokai?? Like a crow or something, since crows in stories are known for liking shiny things?? (He does have on a bird mask like the bird yokai we've seen before, and fingers have a gradient thing going on, so I suspect he's a yokai.)

If he is, then that does make things more interesting, because hasn't it been mentioned multiple time that humans and yokai aren't on very familiar/friendly terms?? Do the event organizers not know that this dude is a yokai???

I'm intrigued....

♡ End of report! ♡