#he's not usually characterized that way but he seems to be pretty athletic

[ricksanchezbignaturals]

i love when rick pulls morty around by his shirt and scruffing him like a fuckin cat is the best lmao

episode 110 close rick-counters of the rick kind

[bethanythebogwitch]

Giving Owl House characters Digimon partners

Because I'm a huge nerd, I'm combining to franchises I like and giving Owl House characters Digimon partners. For TOH fans who don't know how Digimon works, typically a human character will have a partner Digimon that somehow reflects parts of their personality and character development. Digimon also evolve up and down through different levels, but I'm not going that deep with this. Side note, I could not figure out a Digimon I liked to partner with Gus, so sorry, but he's not here. There will be spoilers.

Luz is the easiest, she's partnered with Witchmon. Witchmon is a witch, she's a bit creepy (which Luz would love), and she's very dedicated to learning magic like Luz is. Witchmon also goes through a parallel but reversed journey to Luz. While Luz goes from Earth to the magical world of the Boiling Isles, Witchmon comes from the magical world of Witchely (the setting of another virtual pet series by the same company) to the (allegedly) scientific Digital World.

I gave Amity Ranamon, which seems weird but I think works. Ranamon's personality in Digimon Frontier (the English dub anyway, haven't seen the original) is very much based on the same mean girl archetype that Amity fit before her character development. Amity's early persona was mostly the result of her mother's influence and Ranamon in Frontier is the corrupted version of the originally benevolent spirit of water. Abomination slime is kind of like water I guess. I also like that Amity's hair goes from green like Ranamon to purple like Ranamon's rival Fairymon/Kazemon.

Willow will be partnered with Togemon, a cactus with boxing gloves. The plant connection is obvious but I went with Togemon specifically to match how Willow is physically tough and and athlete. While I said that I won't be discussing evolutions, but I do want to mention that Togemon's usual evolution Lilymon is very cute plant fairy. I think the combination of the rough and tough Togemon and cute, feminine Lilymon really fits Willow.

I'm going to give Hunter Leomon. Leomon is pretty much the archetypical noble and heroic Digimon, but just like Hunter started out as a villain, it can go bad. I'm specifically referencing its dark alternate MadLeomon and the Leomon in Digimon Adventure (original) that was mind controlled into evil twice. On a darker note, the series has a running gag of a Leomon or variant showing up in different series only to die and Hunter is the latest in a long line of clones that Belos keeps killing.

King is getting partnered with Impmon. I'm specifically going with the characterization of the Impmon in Digimon Tamers. Both start out their series as very weak and childish critters with delusions of grandeur but do eventually gain great power. Hopefully King's growth into an adult titan will go a lot more peacefully than Impmon's evolution did. You could also draw a comparison between King being an orphan looking for his father and Impmon abandoning his human partners due to their mistreatment of him.

I'm not super satisfied with what I came up with for Eda, but I'm giving her Babamon. I wanted to try to draw some parallel to Eda and the owl beast but there really aren't many Digimon who switch back and fourth between a sapient and non-sapient forms. The closest I could think of was Belephemon Sleep Mode and Rage mode or ChaosDukemon/ChaosGallantmon and Megidramon and those are both way too evil for Eda. So Babamon it is. Babamon is based on a grandmother and Eda has been prematurely aged by her curse. Babamon is also a sorceress and is even sometimes used as a mega/ultimate level evolution for Witchmon, drawing a connection with Luz. Babamon being a grandmotherly figure but also (in the Digimon Tamers English dub) pretty sassy fits Eda's personality and her growing to become Luz's second mother.

Two quick ones I don't have too much to say about are Lilith and Raine. I'm giving Lilith Wisemon. She is the most scholarly and book smart of the core cast and is a historian and Wisemon is a scholar who preserves a record of the Digital World's history. Wisemon is also a time traveller and Lilith was very prominent in the time travel episode. If you want Lilith to have a mega/ultimate level to match Eda she can have AncientWisemon instead, it's essentially a more powerful Wisemon. I was tempted to give her Lilithmon, but aside from the name they have no connection and Lillithmon is too evil even for season 1 Lilith. Raine is getting Sirenmon and I fully admit its because Sirenmon is the only musical Digimon I could think of. Except the Geckomons, but they're too gross for Raine.

The Collector is going to have a Monzaemon. I think someone who loves play as much as the Collector would love to have a giant teddy bear partner that loves children and just wants people to be happy. However, just like the Collector's childlike innocence drives them to horrible acts in pursuit of fun, Monzaemon is hinted to have a dark side and that there is something very dark and scary hiding inside the big plushie.

Finally we come to Belos and I have given him Titamon as a partner. Titamon isn't exactly known for being the long-term schemer that Belos is, I think there are a lot of parallels that still make it work. Belos is driven by his hatred of anything magic and Titamon is born from the hatred of evil Digimon who were defeated by the heroic group known as the Olympos XII. Titamon also wears the skulls of his defeated enemies and draws power from them like how Belos sustains himself by eating palismens. Furthermore, Titamon can use the skulls to summon an army and Belos has his own personal army in the form of the Emperor's Coven. And of course, Titamon's name comes from titan and the titan is central to Belos's plan. Furthermore, Titamon is now used as the main mega level evolution of Ogremon. Ogremon is the natural enemy of Leomon, further emphasizing the enmity between Belos and Hunter. If Caleb also had a Leomon partner then the conflict between their partners could definitely parallel how Celeb and Phillip/Belos became enemies. Hell, Hunter's Leomon could even be the same Leomon that Caleb partnered with, reconnecting with his old partner's clone to avenge Caleb and stop Belos and Titamon's evil. I love this parallel and can see a fanfic in this.

[icecreamkink]

im very aware that when people rec sports media by saying things like 'you dont need to like sports at all!!' what it usually means is 'enjoying this sport will actively get in the way of liking this media' and its fine. ok. but like. People Who Self Proclaimedly Don't Like Sports

for fucks sake stop saying that ted lasso is Actually a good and competent coach bc he ✨ Cares ✨ . one, not enough and two. he is actually really fucking not; gonna put this under a cut and its kinda negative beware etc

yeah the premise of the show is 'haha american dude doesn't know what hes doing' i know, and football isnt the point, i know, but its. you have to admit at some point that ted lasso wants to have it both ways; it wants the haha what Is football and it wants to defend teds coaching style bc he is a kind person. bc he knows how to bring people out of their shell on a personal level. and thats great.  there is a discussion in the fandom whether caring abt winning is or isn't more important than caring for the people on the team in professional sports, or if ted is or isnt a good coach bc hes not v confrontational, and in my view these are not issues at all. however what everyone seemingly ignores is that-

ted is and continues to be for the entire show, HUGELY incompetent and ignorant, just, completely ignorant of anything regarding football, by his own constant admission, and he never cares to or bothers to learn. anything, at all. at any point. no, his kindness is NOT enough to make him a competent professional. no, his mental struggles dont explain why he is uninterested in doing his job. not only that, his disregard with understanding what the fuck it is hes doing at all is actually a pretty big hole in the 'caring' and even the 'underestimated' characterization of teds. like, people claim he's helping the athletes "on and off the field" but thats not true; he's only helping them off the field. ted does shit all to help them on the field, shit all, even his match choices, like benching jamie and starting with roy, are personal decisions thinking about them off the field. but a team of professionals and a club that employs dozens more people than ted lasso portrays depends on him and the narrative seems not to realize this. this is their livelihoods, not a footy camp for children. giving them books is great, but its not a substitute to knowing even the basics of whats at stake , like relegation, for example and i cant get over how many people found this blatant ignorance cute.

the fact that at episode 8 ted doesn't know what relegation is; that months into the job we're still having 'what is offside lollol' jokes; the fact that on the day richmond is going to play everton, he has no idea they haven't won against everton in decades, which means he hasnt reasearched everton at all. that only the day before a match against man city , only then teds gonna bother with gameplan strategies, meaning, again, he didnt research their oponent at all even though its a crucial game and man city is a technically much superior team that would demand careful tactic to beat; the fact he sees that nate, a kit man, has some tactical understanding and then just settles with relying on him alone, not even like, getting someone else to exchange ideas and train nate as a coach, just 'sure this'll do'. (there is also the fact that richmond is illogically understaffed and it bothers me like an itch, but like. its a show, alright, whatever)

these are jokes, yeah, but they're also ted being bad at his job. he has not done the minimum, really not even the bare minimim amount of research. he doesn't get familiar with the game, he doesn't understand positions, tactics, rules, plays, he doesn't know football history, he doesn't research the oponents, he doesn't even know how the league works! again, that's months into his position; the fact on the last episode of season one, after training Richmond for half a season, on the brink of relegation, ted is still fucking telling rebecca he doesn't know anything. as if he doesn't have not only the ability, opportunity but also the obligation of yknow. reasearching. getting informed. doing his job. care, since ppl love to talk about how much he cares. the idea that ted can care about the players as people while at the same time apparently not giving a fuck abt understanding what theyre all doing here is a huge, gaping logical hole in ted lasso's writing; before analyzing whether or not ted is a pushover, whether or not teds too passive, whether or not hes too non competitive, whether his positivity is good or bad, we have to ignore the fact this show actually tried to get away with 'nate and roy (both inexperienced too btw) take care of pesky game strategy, performance analysis, a team training and ted, the manager, only takes care of the players hearts <3' as if thats not only fair, but a good thing. he is utterly uninterested in half of his job, and that makes him a bad professional (and contradictingly selfish, too);   and 'oh football isnt the point' simply doesnt cut it for me. its lazy, and its annoying.

AND. for the record . i think ted lasso misses gigantic comedic and storytelling opportunities by doing this. teds clueless fish out of water self would be a lot more endearing and a lot more interesting and a lot funnier if it came up when hes researching his job, being interested in it, learning about it instead of being passively told these things and continuing to ignore them. rebecca being frustrated that her plan is shaking bc ted is willing to do the work and step up to his role would have been so much more effective than her being stumped bc hes just so aw shucks nice, period. they couldve shown that ted isnt just kind, but responsible, self aware, caring. it definitely would've helped with the show not feeling slimily 'usamericans come to teach meanie brits how to Lowve and to show how their outlook on life is Better' at times ( which was thankfully made more complicated in s2, but its still kind of there in the story tbh). there are endless hilarious football drama that they couldve used or brought up. there are so many storytelling opportunities to be found within matches. many more and more interesting contrasts as to how the popular sports in the us work vs how football works. football has an extremely unique relationship with people (in good and bad ways) and the show baaarely touches on that. like fucking hell we never even see the secondary characters that we assume are passionate so much as watch a match.

So. for the love of god. and i say all this as someone who did enjoy ted lasso, if mostly isolated episodes or storylines. stop saying ted is a good coach. he might be a good friend, a good influence, a good motivational speaker, tocador de pandeiro. a good pov character. but he is really not a good coach, much less a good manager, and thats a very valid criticism of the show

[palaceofpassion]

Pyrrha Nikos

Pyrrha’s general Characterization for my writings.

Pyrrha is friendly, everyone knows this!  She aspires to be someone that can right the wrongs, it’s her destiny to help people.

She’s a champion, has always been will always be.

She also hides her real self from the world, a constant illusion of joy and calmness.

She’s honestly really horny, because of her unique position, she never got to experience the fun that many athletes her age got to.  She’d known about them, recorded some fun actions, but never got to participate.  

By the time most stories come around, she’s already on the verge of breaking.  

She’s only satisfied when she finds people who are willing to accept her for who she is. 

So ya know, the usual crew, though she does come off as intense to a few. 

She’s also very vindictive.  If you slight her, she will remember this.

The following are simple examples, not related to anything that actually happened.

Cardin’s a prime example of where things can go if she decides to deal with trouble. General Cardin’s think they’re something impressive, they’ll often talk down about one of her lovers, telling her how she either needs a real man, or needs to not delve into the pussy so much and take a cock.  Despite her level of horniness, she’s not willing to drop herself on his level.  She did drop him though... dropped him by his boots off a cliff.  No one believed him when he managed to crawl his ass back up, good thing she didn’t break his aura.

She’s also willing to use her public appearance to destroy people.  Not in a nice way either.  In this example, Mercury had decided that he was going to harass Pyrrha’s girlfriend May.  Mercury is still serving jail time, for something he may or may not have committed.  

Pyrrha’s Bi-sexual, leaning towards a female preference.  She just tends to enjoy the female body more than a males.  There is one exception, and this is without fail.  

She’s also kind of... cruel.  No one knows what the inner working of her thoughts are like, but she often sees things differently.

She often imagines what it’s like to subjugate people, binding them to her will.  

She’s a cuckQueen.  Emphasis on the Queen portion, while this may seem like she wants to see her boyfriend being fucked by other girls.  Rather she wants to see them being pinned, dominated, used.  And it doesn’t really matter how that goes.

On that note, she is rather loving.  She shows a lot of restraint by not letting these more negative aspects of her show.  She cares about the people around her, and will punish those that dare to harm them.  

Her friendliness is genuine.

She actually really despised Weiss when they first meet.  This usually happens if Weiss opens with her recruitment attempt.  She can see through the lies plainly.

You don’t want Pyrrha to amass power.

She isn’t ruled by the media, in fact she’s learned how to spin media stories to her favor.  She’s good at controlling what she wants.

She loves to fight, like really loves to fight.  The best way to get on her good side is to challenge her, genuinely want to beat her.  She’ll admire you.

She’s a nerd.  She doesn’t show it much, but she didn’t have much else to do, so she spent a lot of time watching cartoons and playing games.  She’s actually more adept at them than Jaune is.  

She loves to cosplay, it’s a right, and she’s glad Jaune knows how to sew.

Generally falls pretty quickly for May or Jaune, or both.

Has been known to train certain girls.

A new sexuality was created when Pyrrha first became a star, Pyrrhasexual, not like anyone could blame Remnant.

She loves toys, mostly metal ones, she has an acute sense of her semblance so~ 

She loves using collars, piercings, or other fun items for her lovers.

[sneezefiction]

answers

oikawa x reader

desc: oikawa changes some lyrics in taylor swift’s song “love story”

a/n: please keep in mind that most of this is just humorous & there’s no serious characterization in this particular story. i laughed a lot while writing it :,,) for @cutiekawa because you gave me the idea; thank you for that! and also for @seroto-rin because this is very similar to your husband’s lyric changing habits lol – i still laugh whenever i think about it <3 warnings: language, mentions drinking/being drunk

wc: 3k

— It’s 2 am when you hear Oikawa pattering down the hallway and past your room. From the gentle footsteps and the occasional whisper of “shit” when the floor creaks, it's obvious that he’s trying to stay quiet.

But his attempts are in vain because, one, you’re wide awake and, two, he’s just knocked over an empty beer can from earlier. It was probably the one he’d left on the hall table – you’d told him to throw it away but he’d refused saying that he’d “throw it away in the morning when his arms weren’t so tired.” 

This is just karma.

The clatter of the aluminum on wooden floors echoes throughout the dorm. A much louder, especially frustrated, “fuck” follows right after it.

The word, though crass, sounds deceptively attractive on his tongue. But most things Oikawa-related just happen to be attractive. 

You muffle your laughter with a blanket. He’s probably disoriented from the alcohol – it’s only been an hour and 5 drinks each since you both called it a night. You’d headed straight to bed but he’d fallen asleep on the couch where you left him, hair a-mess and lips parted.

But, for someone who used to stay out till daybreak on weekends, he’s spent most Fridays hanging out with you instead.

This weekend was no different.

Oikawa ordered Thai takeout, you found a mindless Netflix series to binge, both of you had a little too much to drink, laughter ensued, the doe-eyed boy found his head in your lap, and…

You pull a face – one that goes unseen because of the dark, but you make it anyway.

Okay, that last part was a little different.

He’d had his head in your lap.

His head… in your… lap.

And, if you’re not mistaken (or delirious), you’d had your hands in his hair, twirling strands and tracing circles at the base of his neck. A foggy image of him gazing up at you with softened eyes, deep chocolate in color, begins to solidify. 

That lazy smile, a hand on your thigh, tresses tickling your skin...

You turn over in your bed, bunching up your sheets and holding them close to you like a shield of fabric — a flimsy, make-shift defense against tipsy mind-wandering. It isn’t very effective.

Your brain is not wandering but racing around this hand-in-hair realization.

Like an iron rod poking at hot embers, these prodding memories make your cheeks grow hotter by the millisecond. You bury your face in your pillow, embarrassment tight in your throat. 

Somehow you’d forgotten that he’d practically climbed into your lap. You’re not in the clear quite yet, but your brain is functioning well enough that it wishes you’d had a little more to drink – just enough to forget about it entirely. You starfish out on your bed, arms and legs dramatically splayed across the mattress.

Do (hot, charming, charismatic, windswept) flatmates usually get this... cuddly? Is that normal?

Does Iwaizumi wrap his arms around his roomies after a long day and a few bottles? How about Mattsun? Makki…?

Okay, no, none of them really seem like the type to get up close and personal with their roommates without good reason. Well, maybe Makki, but he’d do it to be a pain in the ass – not to charm the living-hell out of someone.

You try to take in a deep breath and wrap your head around what this means for you… but end up inhaling a feather from your pillow instead. As you hack and cough, you try to smother the noise in more cloth material – you really didn’t need him coming into your room, much less leaning over your bed to check on you.

Oikawa is messing with your head. 

If you knew any better, you’d have run away screaming the moment he’d asked you to room with him. No one that pretty and charismatic is good news. At least, not when it comes to shared housing.

But, here you are, writhing under the covers and hot like a fever all because he couldn’t keep to himself. Screw him and his charming smile for putting you in this position.

He either knows you’re crushing like he’s the last man on earth or he’s blissfully unaware and way too physically affectionate for his own good. 

You don’t dare consider that he likes you back though. Only deer and Olympic athletes made leaps like that. Oikawa had too many admirers… an irritating amount.

The blankets scrunch even tighter between your fists, likely thanking their maker that they don’t have nerve endings.

Every fiber of your being is begging to know if these feelings are reciprocated. You’d hate to live out the rest of this semester knowing the boy down the hall may not like you back. Worse, that he finds out you think he’s hot shit and doesn’t like you back – that would be unrequited love at its finest.

But, with a degree and your mental health on the line, why should you care about such minor, itty bitty, pointless details. 

This isn’t that big a deal.

And even if he did like you back? Well, Oikawa isn’t someone you can simply “pin down.” He comes with a distinctive, dramatic personality and a meddling side. Not to mention, he’s already the embodiment of chaos – he’s proven this to be true over the past 4 months he’s lived with you.

There’s a familiar squeak of the shower faucet handle and the hiss of hot water. You jump at the sound.

Maybe he’d forgotten, but your bedroom shares a very thin wall with the bathroom. Though you recall him saying he wanted to take a shower earlier, so you guess that he’s only just remembered.

You pick up your phone, blue light casting a less-than angelic glow on your sleepy face. You pray that TikTok will have some sort of life-changing “I’m in love with my hot, crazy flatmate” advice. Or that it will distract you from your inner turmoil. Either would be appreciated but the latter seems more likely.

Scrolling slowly, you get through about 3 videos before something else catches your attention.

There’s a deep reverberation buzzing through your wall. A gentle hum, much like a shower-concert lullaby.

But the noise is getting louder. And the humming? A lot more lyrical.

You shift into a sitting position, propping yourself up with your hands. With your side sunken into a pillow, you press your ear against the cool drywall. Your ears tune into the sound.

Oikawa, voice confident and free, is… singing.

“...But you were everything to me, I was begging you ‘please don’t go’…”

But he’s not just singing.

“And I said…”

He’s belting Taylor Swift with the enthusiasm of an 11-year-old Swiftie super-fan. Like the world would end if he didn’t put enough passion into this performance. Like the showerhead is his microphone and the surrounding tiles are his adoring audience.

“Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone. I'll be waiting; all that's left to do is run...”

Most people would be pissed if their friend were singing in the shower at 2 am… but you can’t find it in yourself to be anything but enamored.

God, you hate him for doing this right now. Hate that he’s inadvertently endearing you to him. Hate that, no matter what you do, he’s somehow always there.

Pressed up against you on the couch, meeting you for dinner at his favorite restaurant, fussing at each other over a shitty cup of coffee in your even shittier kitchen, calling you when he needs somebody to keep him company at the library… 

“You'll be the prince & I'll be the princess…”

And now he’s accidentally serenading you with Taylor’s “Fearless” album. In the shower.

You facepalm, sinking into your hands, exasperated and just so… done.

You sink back down into the bedsheets, wishing your earbuds were nearby to drown out the regrettably adorable performance. 

“It's a love story y/n, just say ‘Yes.’”

And your heart drops, panic setting in like the touch down of a whirling tornado. A fire tornado. A fire tornado with frogs and lizards and sharp objects spinning around inside of it.

What… did he just say?

The lyrics… they were muffled. You definitely heard them incorrectly. You… you just need to get your ears checked. Yes, that’s it. That’s all there is to it. You’ll schedule an appointment first thing tomorrow morning.

Because who the fuck sings like that at 2 am in a shared dorm? And who the fuck puts someone else’s name into a song like that? No one? Yes, no one.

Especially not the Oikawa Tooru.

And especially not with your name.

Because that’s just... weird.

The grip on your phone is mighty – thank God for durable glass because any other material would’ve splintered or shattered in your hold. 

But what the hell.

“Y/n, save me, I've been feeling so alone,” he sings as though he were Beyoncé’s son.

This time it’s clear as day. Oikawa is definitely still out of it and he’s undoubtedly singing your name.

No, no, no.

“I keep waiting for you but you never come…”

You bolt out of bed, feet hitting the floor at lightning-strike speed.

“Is this in my head? I don't know what to think,”

In one swift movement, you fling the bedroom door open and rush down the hall. You shouldn’t be listening to this. 

“He knelt to the ground & pulled out a ring, and said...”

And before you can stop your hand, it’s knocking rapidly on the bathroom door.

There’s a gasp, what you assume to a bar of soap hitting the shower floor, and an abrupt silence that follows.

You’d only wanted to stop him from singing.

However, you hadn’t thought through what you were going to say to him about this whole... lyrical mess. Your face feels like the surface of the sun, burning and flaring and flushing. What are you supposed to do now?

Oikawa speaks up, voice quiet, “Hello?”

Shit.

Maybe if you’re careful you can get yourself out of this. Just act like you didn’t hear anything and bring it up tomorrow when you’re both thinking straight. A thorough and sober discussion would be needed.

You had questions. Questions that needed answers.

Why did he have his head in your lap? Had you said anything to him that you’d regret later? Does he like you? Where should you two place your boundaries if he doesn’t like you back? And why Taylor Swift?

“Y/n, is that you?” He asks, nonchalantly.

Who else would it be?

The handle squeaks and, with that, the water stops. Only the gentle swirl of the drain and the occasional drips and drops from the showerhead are audible.

It’s too late. You’re already there. You’ve knocked and, in doing so, you’ve sealed your fate.

“...Yes,” is your whisper of a reply.

“What’s up? Was I too loud for you?”

You’ve got the entire building on high-alert singing that loudly.

...is what you would say if you weren’t currently imploding. This is like nothing you’ve ever experienced before. And nothing you ever want to experience again.

“Um, yeah, sorry.” You look down at your shuffling feet.

The hallway is pitch black, hardly allowing for even a mere shadow. Rushing out of your room, you’d forgotten to turn on even a single light.

You hear him step onto the tile floor and the rustle of a tower from the bathroom closet.

“Wait, can we talk?” He asks as though it weren’t the question of the fucking year. “I mean, preferably after I get out of the bathroom.” There’s a lack of tact to his words.

This isn’t the charming Oikawa you’re used to. This is a blunt… confusingly straightforward Oikawa.

His tone wavers like maybe he’d had a little more to drink than you’d last remembered. Your memory was proving to be disappointingly unreliable tonight.

You swallow thickly, “Sure.”

Because what else can you say?

“Can I stop by your room in a minute?”

You take a deep breath, “Yeah.”

And you patter back to your no-longer very safe haven. Oikawa is about to infiltrate your space… with your permission. And the weapons he’ll bring will either harpoon you or leave you emotionally paralyzed – whether that emotional paralysis is a good or bad thing will be decided in the near future.

Your bed, though soft and blanket-covered, looks far less appealing now. It may as well be a bed of nails because you would rather hide beneath it than sit atop it.

But you sit anyway, letting the mattress dip and the springs twang.

The bathroom door cries as it opens, putting you on edge. Your heart is pounding like a drum at a summer festival – hotter and louder with every beat.

The trod of footsteps tells you he’s approaching and, sure enough, the open door reveals Oikawa.

With only a lamp to brighten the space, he’s more contoured than usual. His hair is wet and heavy against his head, taking on an even darker brown than before. You’ve seen him fresh out of the shower before, but this… is different. Oikawa’s shirt sticks to his chest slightly – he must’ve thrown it on without drying off fully to get to you faster.

He takes a few steps into your room, choosing to lean his back against a wall next to your work desk. Oikawa brings his hands behind his back, pressing his weight into them. Brown eyes flicker from you to the wall behind you and back again.

Naturally, tension lays thick as a fog in the air space. 

“Hey, I’m…”

You cut him off, “You don’t have to say sorry! It’s… it’s okay.” 

Oops, you’d said that a little too loud. Not that it mattered much after Oikawa’s passionate performance.

An eyebrow raises and confusion sparks across his face. Your body freezes.

He brings a hand behind his neck. “Oh, I was just gonna say that I’m still kinda drunk.”

You knew that much. Though you really thought he’d say something other than that. Preferably something about the, uh, devoted love-song?

Why is he acting so casual right now? Is this even Tooru? Had he read too many alien conspiracies and been abducted for learning too much about extraterrestrials? 

Maybe he doesn’t realize you’d even heard him say your name in the shower.

“Oh... right.” You say slowly, lips staying parted at the end of your sentence.

“Which… probably isn’t good for either of us,” Different words drawl out and there’s a soft slur to some syllables, but at least he’s easy to understand, “me drinking too much, I mean.”

“Yeah,” you mutter.

“I think we should both just go to bed then.”

Your chest tightens. Of course, you want answers.

They’re likely embarrassing, face-reddening, Taylor Swift-centric answers. But you want them, nonetheless.

Although, it’s probably for the best that you don’t bring this up tonight. It was all probably a joke or a harmless accident – and, anyway, he admitted to being drunk.

“Right.”

“But I think you should know that I like you. A lot.”

“Yeah,” you respond again, automatically.

There’s another heavy silence. The pretty boy just stares at you, cherry colors tinting his cheeks but showing no expression of fear or embarrassment. You stare back, processing his words at turtle-like speeds.

The words tumble out, “Wait, say that again?” You double back, your own face reheating to its earlier temperature.

“I’m gonna be mad at myself in the morning if I don’t leave right now. And I really need to stop listening to that stupid song,” Oikawa says to himself. 

“But I wanted to see how you would respond if I changed the lyrics,” the words are pointed back at you again.

He stands up, feet moving slowly toward the doorway. Did he just… completely ignore your question?

Your jaw drops, “Did…” you can hardly speak.

Clearing your throat, you try again, focusing intently on your words, “...did you mean for me to hear you?”

“...Maybe.” He draws out the “e,” looking back at you.

That’s it. He’s lost his fucking mind. You’re going to strangle him. 

No TikTok advice could have prepared you for the monstrosity that is Oikawa Tooru. How Iwaizumi put up with that... that child for all these years, you have no idea.

You have to make a note of sending him a “get well” card, because nobody could be mentally okay after dealing with him for that long.

“B- but… why? What?” You stammer out, back stiff as a board.

“You like me don’t you?” He tilts his head, hair flopping cutely with it.

You gape like a fish, mouth opening and closing.

And it’s not that you don’t want to respond.

It’s that you can’t. You have no words. You vocal chords are on a panic-induced lockdown.

Because he knew.

He knew this entire time. Which you thought he might, but that doesn’t make the situation any less infuriating.

“And I like you back.”

You’re dumbfounded. You can’t think. This is ridiculous.

You open your mouth once more but he has no intention of continuing this conversation.

“Sleep well!” Without further comment, Oikawa flashes you a sleepy smile and begins scampering back to his room after having wreaked havoc on your poor heart.

Your voice comes back just in time for you to wake up the entire building once more,

“No, you get your ass back here and explain yourself!”

[sineala]

Captain America: The Great Gold Steal

I wrote this up last week because I did not have access to my usual comics files but I figured I could review something that was just a book. So here is a review of the 1968 Captain America novel Captain America: The Great Gold Steal by Ted White, with an introduction by Stan Lee. I really liked it, actually! It was surprisingly good!

This novel features: Cover art of Captain America holding his shield in one hand and a very large gun in the other! A scene where the villains dramatically unmask Captain America and have absolutely no idea who he is! Captain America being extremely, extremely depressed about being in the future! Captain America dropping acid!

(I'm not kidding about the last part. In this novel there is a lot of LSD use. By Captain America. Talk about something the Comics Code wouldn't ever let you put in a comic book. Thank you, 1968.)

Faithful readers may remember that some time ago I posted reviews of Marvel prose novels from the 1970s. There was a line of prose novels featuring everyone's favorite Marvel superheroes, published by Pocket Books in the late 70s; I have reviews of the Iron Man, Captain America, and Avengers entries in the series; I liked the Iron Man one best, and I also have a Doctor Strange one I have not yet read. They're all short and action-packed paperback reads, of varying quality; the only one by anyone you might have heard of is the Avengers one, which was written by David Michelinie, who was actually writing the Avengers run at the time. That one was, um. An experience. 

(Yes, it's "prose novel" because otherwise the assumption is "graphic novel.")

Marvel still publishes prose novels now, of course, also of varying quality; some are new plots and some are straight-up novelizations of comics arcs, which I guess is useful if you want to, say, read Civil War and not look at pictures at the same time. I also have a bunch of those that I could probably review if anyone wants. But, anyway, I personally am particularly intrigued by the older Marvel prose novels, both because the stories are all original and not retellings, and also because I often prefer the characterization found in older comics. And the older prose novels of course use the then-current characterization. So reading a Marvel prose novel from 1979 is like getting to read a brand-new comic from 1979, and that's a whole lot of fun for a nerd like me. Also do you know what's not subject to the Comics Code? Prose novels. So things can happen in these that definitely could not happen in comics of the same era.

This brings me to my current prose novel, which is something else entirely. I mean, okay, not really, it's still a Marvel prose novel. But it's not part of the same line. It's actually a lot older.

Bantam Books actually published Marvel prose novels in the late 60s. Yep, a full decade earlier. They published exactly two, so I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that they were probably not bestsellers. The first one, which I do not own and now sort of want to track down, was an Avengers novel in 1967, The Avengers Battle the Earth-Wrecker. And then in 1968 they published the novel I am currently holding in my hands, Captain America: The Great Gold Steal by Ted White.

(I am still not sure why no one involved in titling this book thought of the word "theft.")

Judging by the back copy, it appears to be about Captain America foiling the villains' dastardly plan to steal gold from the Federal Reserve. Oh boy. Fun.

So this book is from 1968. The modern Marvel universe had kicked off just a few short years ago! Captain America was just getting his own solo book after the end of Tales of Suspense! And here's a novel about him, back when certain elements of his characterization were perhaps a little more flexible than they are today, by which I mean that the cover art -- which the internet informs me was painted by Mitchell Hooks -- is a striking full-body portrait of Captain America, head held high, shield in one hand... and a very large gun in the other. Hell, yeah. Not gonna see that in today's Cap comics, are you? It's amazing and I love it.

(Okay, you might see that in Ults. I'm pretty sure I have seen that in Ults, actually. But this is still cool.)

So the cover art is a definite plus, and apparently it's one of the few reasons anyone has ever heard of this novel. The other reason -- and the reason this is more expensive than the later novels, I assume -- is that Stan Lee's name is slapped on the cover, because he wrote an introduction. (I think I paid about $30 for this. The others were definitely under $20.)

All right. Here we go.

The first page is actually a brief summary of Steve's origin story, but not a version I was familiar with. Steve was born July 9, 1917 (yes, I was surprised too), was orphaned at a young age, and was a student at Columbia University (!) before Rebirth, which in this version is a gradual process that is also extremely body-horror. Steel tubing was inserted into the marrows of his bones. He was fed "high-protein compounds." Then they gave him a chemical that "gave him complete control over every nerve, muscle, and cell in his now-magnificent body." Sweet. Where can I get some of that?

The blurb also confirms his control over his own metabolism as well as his healing factor ("wounds would heal in half the normal time"), which is nice, because sometimes I wonder if canon even remembers the healing factor.

(I don't know why Marvel has this kink for filling people's bones with metal, though. It's not actually empty in there, guys! You need your bone marrow! How else do you want people to make new blood cells?)

The book is dedicated to "Jack Kirby and Stan Lee, without whom there would be no Captain America." Hey, Marvel, Joe Simon would like a word with you. I'm just saying.

The Stan Lee introduction is three paragraphs written in Stan Lee's, um, inimitable, distinctive and extremely florid narrative style -- if you've read any of his work, you know what I mean -- and making the point that Captain America is incredible and you will like him. If you are just discovering him for the first time, you will definitely like him. Okay. Thanks. I guess.

Oddly, the writing style here is substantially different than any of the other Marvel prose novels I've read; it doesn't immediately front-load you with exposition and a cast of colorful superheroes. It opens with a sort of James Bond spy-novel feel, running through a series of unnamed villains and bystanders, and a man who wants nothing more than to talk to Captain America but is killed before he can. Steve comes in halfway through the chapter, and he seems to be written for a reader who doesn't necessarily know who he is, and he isn't introduced as Captain America with his shield flying ahead of him to smite evildoers, or anything like that. He's just a tall, handsome blond guy who is reading a bunch of novels and is unsatisfied by all of them because all he can think of is the past. It's definitely an attitude I would expect from Steve in this era -- he is very much a Man Out Of Time here -- but it's also not how I expected the book to introduce him. You wouldn't even know he was Captain America by the end of the opening chapter, which then ends with a digression about the history of NYC subway tunnels. It's like it wants to appeal to someone who has watched a bunch of Man from UNCLE and just wants to read a cool thriller. Which is not at all what I was expecting.

By the beginning of the second chapter, of course, we discover that Steve is Captain America, as he changes into his uniform. The narration refers to him as Rogers when it's in his POV, if anyone is curious. He apparently keeps the cowl off in the mansion, because the cowl annoys him.

It was not so much that he needed to conceal his identity these days, because for all intents and purposes he had no other identity. Steve Rogers was officially dead, and had been for almost twenty years. Captain America *was* his identity. It was only when he donned the tight-fitting blue uniform with its shield chest-emblem, the red snug-fitting leather boots, and the heavy, yet pressure-sensitive red-leather gauntlets, that he began to feel real -- a complete human being.

Steve? Buddy, are you okay there? You're really not okay, are you, huh?

You see what I mean? They're really hitting the early-canon angst. Hard.

(Also it sounds like his uniform is a few sizes too small.)

We then get an expanded version of the backstory from the beginning excerpt. In this version of canon, Steve actually has an older brother, Alan, who is handsome and athletic and basically amazing, and when they are orphaned they are raised by their aunt and uncle. Steve gets TB twice as a kid, nearly dies from it, and when the stock market crashes, ends up separated from his brother and in an orphanage after his uncle loses everything.

(Honestly if I were writing this book, his brother would be the secret villain. Chekhov's Gun!)

Steve has glasses, gets bullied, is a nerd and an honor student, and studies law at Columbia because he wants to help stop fraudulent business practices and also fight organized crime. Legally, I mean. In a manner relating to law. I guess he's sort of like Daredevil. The lawyer part of Daredevil.

And then he joins Rebirth, and this is the part where I had to put the book down for several minutes, because Erskine's secret chemical, the key to making super-soldiers... is LSD.

Oh my God. You should see my face right now. My expression is, I am sure, indescribable. I'm trying not to wake the dog up laughing.

I just. Holy shit. This book is from 1968 in a way I definitely was not expecting. What the fuck, Marvel?

This project was headed by the brilliant biochemist, Dr. Erskine. His work with the endocrine system, and chemical body control, was well beyond that of his contemporaries. Only he, of all his colleagues, had fathomed the secrets of the Swiss Dr. Hoffman's 1938 discovery -- the mind-controlling LSD-25.

Let's just pause here for a few minutes and contemplate this.

I will point out that Albert Hofmann (yes, the book spelled his name wrong) didn't actually discover that LSD was a hallucinogen until 1943 when he accidentally tried it, but I am positive that 1968 here was a time when Some People were convinced LSD was a wonder drug. I'm still laughing. As far as I can tell, legal manufacturing of it stopped in 1965 so I am pretty sure that the author did not just decide to name a drug that had an ostensible legal therapeutic use, because it wouldn't have still had one by '68.

Anyway, in this version of events, Rebirth is a month-long process that involves a lot of vitamins, physical conditioning and training, and, yes, putting metal in his bones like he's the next Wolverine. They're filling his bones with stainless steel rods to make him stronger. That doesn't seem like a great idea to me, but I am also not sure about dropping acid to gain superpowers. Clearly I am not a genius scientist. Also Erskine knows what DNA is, apparently, because he's just that great. Anyway. Other than the metal, those all seem like relatively normal interventions. So far.

Now Steve has become fairly big and strong (and I guess he still has metal in his bones? this concerns me!) but they need to make him superhuman, so, yes, really, it's time to drop acid. Several pages of this book are devoted to describing Steve's acid trip. His acid trip is amazing and he discovers that he has conscious control of his entire body down to the cellular level. He can control the adrenaline in his bloodstream! He can tighten his muscle fibers! And when he's done tripping he still remembers how to do this, if not exactly on a conscious level, but he can still access the abilities. And that is how you make a super-soldier. It's LSD. Remember, kids, drugs are awesome! Do drugs!

Let's maybe take a few more minutes to think about this.

I just. I have no words. How did anyone at Marvel agree to print this?

I think for the most part superhero origin stories tend not to involve real drugs because people are generally aware that drugs they've heard of won't make you into a superhero. I guess this is what it looks like when you invoke the names of real drugs. They probably wanted something that sounded more realistic but somehow I don't think this was the best way to go. (Radiation, of course, will definitely make you into a superhero but I feel like most people have accepted that as one of the conventions of the genre.)

Anyway, after that Erskine gets killed by Nazis, of course, and Steve goes to war, and for some reason this book contains footnotes by Stan Lee himself listing the comics you can read all of this in. Just like the actual comics do!

We are introduced to Bucky, who for some reason is also from the LES in this version, although not anyone Steve knew before the war, and there is of course a description of Bucky's tragic death and Steve's subsequent icing.

They are really, really stressing the Man Out Of Time thing here:

No other man could have survived so fantastic a voyage through time. And no other man could feel so displaced by time.

He was a man twenty years in his own future. By rights, he should be nearly fifty years old -- nearly twice the age of his fellow Avengers. Yet his mind and his body were not yet thirty.

When the Avengers had brought him back to New York with them and insisted that, as an honored hero of the past, he join them, he felt a sort of melancholy homesickness for his own time and world.

We then get a few paragraphs with the usual being sad that he let Bucky down and got him killed, and also that he misses his family, and that Steve Rogers doesn't exist anymore, and that nobody is alive who remembers him, and that war is hell.

Hey, Steve, maybe the drugs you should do are antidepressants. Just a thought.

Also, this book is 118 pages and we're not out of the origin story flashback until page 34. I think there are some pacing issues here.

Actually, I lied, the flashback keeps going, but now we're up to the Avengers finding him, and I have to say that the list of things Steve finds strange about the future is kind of charming when the future is 1968. Men have long hair! Women have shorter skirts! Everyone is kind of blasé about rocket launches because there have been so many space missions now. (Oh, come on, you haven't even landed on the moon yet, 1968! You're not that blasé.) Color TV! And, excitingly, LPs! You can now listen to 36 minutes of consecutive music. (I actually don't know what previous standard he's describing that is a ten-inch record that holds six minutes a side because I don't think 45s are that big. Yeah, no, I just checked and 45s are seven inches in diameter. Hmm. Oh, never mind. He means 78 rpm, doesn't he? In my defense, the record player my family had when I was a kid didn't play those.)

The description of Steve coming into New York for the first time is definitely written by someone who knows New York, which is fun. There is generally a lot of local flavor to the setting of this book. That’s one of the best parts.

There is a brief summary of Steve's feelings about all the Avengers -- he is most impressed by Thor, which, I mean, fair, he's an actual god -- and Hank telling him all about how he can live in Tony's mansion. With Jarvis. Who Hank says is actually from Flatbush. Apparently Steve spent a lot of time at the NYPL branch at 5th and 42nd trying to catch up on history. And then of course the Avengers ditched him and gave him the Kooky Quartet, and for some reason they're not here right now either so it's just Steve being sad and alone and dealing with this mysterious dead guy. I think probably the book is also done explaining fiat currency now. This is definitely the weirdest Marvel novel I've read.

Anyway, we have now returned to what is ostensibly the actual plot. Steve shows up at the New York Federal Reserve Bank (I guess the theft is happening here and not, like, at Fort Knox) with the gold bullion that the dead guy from the beginning of the book had on him -- I think I got distracted by the LSD bit and forgot to mention that part, but the dead guy was carrying some US government gold -- because the actual plot is that villains are trying to tunnel into the bank vault and steal gold. Steve discovers this after he gets the bank manager to give him a tour. The bank manager tries to refuse, citing security concerns -- Captain America could be anyone under that mask, after all! Steve just smiles and says, "If I removed my mask, would you have any better idea of who I am?" and I guess that's a flawless argument because he gets his tour.

(I'm sorry, all I can think of is that one gif from the JLA cartoon where Lex Luthor bodyswaps with the Flash, announces that now that he's in the Flash's body he's going to discover the Flash's secret identity, then pulls off his own mask, stares at himself in the mirror, and says, "I have no idea who this is.")

Given that the theme of Steve's interior life in this novel is "Steve Rogers died twenty years ago" it seems even more sad that Steve is just walking around basically saying, yeah, well, I'm nobody. And apparently that is being reaffirmed for him by the narrative.

So Steve goes down the tunnels, takes out some of the bad guys, and gets himself knocked out and buried in a collapsing tunnel. Don't worry, he's gonna be fine.

A lot of this book, by the way, is from the POV of random people, like this bank guard who went with Steve into the tunnels:

He had wondered, briefly, if a man like Captain America ever knew the pinch of too many bills, had ever felt desperate over the arrival of yet another mouth to feed. But, of course, Captain America had no family, and would hardly concern himself with such matters. It didn't occur to Thompson to wonder if this in itself might not be something for which to pity Captain America.

Rude. I mean, come on, do we really need random characters telling us Steve is a sad sack whom nobody loves? Steve's already got that covered!  (Also, how does this guy know Captain America has no family?)

Anyway, thanks to the power of LSD, Steve is going into a trance, amping up his metabolism (he loses "several pounds" in a few minutes), and making himself super-strong so he can dig himself out. Hooray. This is definitely how human bodies work. Also LSD. This is definitely how LSD works. Yes.

Steve then finds out that a couple of the guards who were with him in the tunnels died down there and he goes home and eats dinner while stewing in miserable guilt because he was responsible for their deaths. He's really not okay. I'm not sure the book actually understands how not okay they have made him. Then someone from SHIELD is on the phone for him and he is briefly cheered up by the thought that it might be Sharon although I think we should also note that the narrative makes it clear that at this point in canon Steve still doesn't know her name. Remember when that was a thing?

Alas, it is not Sharon; it's just a random SHIELD agent who happens to have information about the plot and asks to meet. Then, as Steve leaves to go to the meeting, we get two pages of exhaustive description about the mansion layout and how it's built relative to the surrounding buildings. It feels like this book was written by a frustrated city planner. But anyway, the meeting is a setup and the villains capture Steve.

They knock Steve out, drug him, take him to their hideout, and tie him to a chair. Except, once again thanks to the power of LSD, the tranquilizer they're using wears off way sooner than they expected and so Steve feigns unconsciousness and listens to them discuss their evil plans.

And then the villains unmask him and I swear it's exactly like that JLA gif:

Rogers heard footsteps scuffing across a thick carpet, and then Sparrow's voice again, almost directly over him. His ears still buzzed, but he fought to catch the elusive familiarity of the man's tone. He wished he dared open his eyes.

"This is a moment which I, personally, have long awaited," Sparrow said, his voice rising in triumph. "*The unmasking of Captain America!*"

Then, his nails scraping along Rogers' face, Sparrow dug his fingers under his cowl, and ripped it back. Rogers felt air strike his exposed cheeks and forehead. Then fingers clutched his blond hair and pulled his head back. "Behold!" Sparrow said.

Raven was first to speak. "Well, I dunno about you, Sparrow, but it rings no bells with me. I never seen him before."

Starling agreed. "His face means nothing to me."

"He could be anybody," said Robin. "What good does this do?"

Sparrow let Rogers' head fall back to his chest, and his voice when he spoke was defeated. "I don't know. Nothing, I guess. I always wondered. I felt, if these guys -- these costumed heroes -- wore masks, it must mean something."

"Captain America was missing for twenty years," Starling said. "That could mean the first one died, and this one took his place. He looks awfully young."

"Perhaps. It doesn't really matter. Let's get going."

(Yes, the villains all have bird-themed codenames. I have no idea why.)

This scene just makes my day. I love dramatic unmaskings. I bet they'd have been a lot happier unmasking Iron Man.

The villains then leave Steve and go to a power plant, where we switch POVs to one of the plant employees and get two entirely unnecessary paragraphs about his racist and anti-Semitic thoughts about his coworkers before the villains murder him. Great. Thanks.

Anyway, the villains cause a blackout, while meanwhile they've left Steve alone with the girl villain, and Steve is busy trying to persuade her that crime doesn't pay. He's moved from the "do you know what they'll do to you in prison?" theme onto "how exactly are you going to spend a billion dollars in gold bullion when it's illegal for civilians to possess? who are you going to do business with?" and then points out that gold is heavy and hard to transport, which is when she gets out a a knife.

The bad guys are off to steal the gold, and Steve has now successfully turned the girl they left him with, because she frees him. Of course, the first thing he does is put the cowl back on.

"Why do you wear that?" she asked.

"The mask?" He smiled. "It gives people something external to concentrate upon."

"But..."

"Without it, I'm just another ordinary-looking man. With it, I become a symbol. For some people it creates awe; for others, fear. Look at me. I'm different now, aren't I? With the mask on."

"Yes," she nodded. "You look -- bigger, somehow. Stronger. Fierce, implacable. You look a little scary."

"Exactly. You no longer see me as a person, but as a thing -- an Avenger. It can be a potent psychological weapon."

"They were so disappointed, when they took your mask off. As though underneath they'd find a famous person."

"Maybe that goes on TV -- handsome playboys, and all that. But I've been anonymous all my life. Even my real name would be meaningless to you, to them. No, the mask is part of the uniform, a psychological device. That's the whole story.

Now: let's get out of here. You have a good deal more to tell me yet, and we can't waste more time."

Bwahaha. In a few years, Steve's going to be pretty surprised about who superheroes are, I think.

STEVE, now: Superheroes definitely aren't secretly handsome playboys! That would be silly! STEVE, after Molecule Man: fuck fuck fuck FUCK FUCK I'm such an idiot

I'm definitely looking forward to that.

Also, not that the issue of Steve's psyche actually recurs after this, but he's once again having the narrative vindicate his belief that Steve Rogers is dead and whoever he is under the cowl doesn't matter. Steve, I don't think this is very healthy.

Steve then tracks down the villains stealing the gold, has some geopolitical thoughts about where the gold could be going (he thinks either South Africa or Russia for the best laundering potential) and then hides himself in the villains' trunk while they drive to Staten Island, which is where they're taking the gold out of the country from.

During the final confrontation, Steve finally gets to see the villains, and he discovers that the one in charge is in fact the director of the Federal Reserve Bank who Steve met at the beginning of this book. Gasp. But that's not all! He's also... the Red Skull!

Honestly, I was kind of surprised; I didn't think this was the kind of book where we'd get any known comic villains, but I guess it's always gotta be the Red Skull. I think he's the only one of Steve's big villains who likes to disguise himself; Zemo has obvious disguise issues and I imagine it's also hard to cover up Zola's Teletubby-esque television body.

Steve shoots one of the villains, because I guess that's what he does in this era of canon.

So the plot wraps up in, like, two pages, because for some reason all these early Marvel novels wrap up very fast. Red Skull, of course, attempts to escape and then disappears and his body is never found. The end.

Well.

That was definitely a book. That I read. Believe it or not, I actually think it was the best of these early Marvel prose novels that I've read so far, even if it was also the absolute weirdest; I thought the thriller-style plot was entertaining, I liked Steve and his Extremely Sad characterization, I obviously enjoy all the identity themes, I liked how very detailed the New York setting was, and I do like how they tried to treat it all seriously. I mean, sure, this did lead to LSD in the super-soldier serum in presumably the name of realism, but I felt like the book was trying to present superheroes in a way that didn't feel silly and also didn't really take for granted that the reader would automatically accept superheroes.

It felt like a book that was written hoping that people who weren't superhero fans would read it, if that makes any sense. And I thought that was interesting, because most modern superhero work that I can think of assumes they've got complete audience buy-in and everyone is willing to suspend their disbelief and we all know the genre conventions and are expecting people running around in brightly-colored spandex. Whereas this is more like a James Bond novel if for some reason James Bond were called upon to defend his decision to wear brightly-colored spandex instead of bespoke suits. But I assume no one read it, because Bantam never published a Marvel book after this one.

If you can actually find a copy of this one for a price you're willing to pay. I recommend it. It was delightful and way more solid than I thought it was going to be.

Also, come on, you know you want to read about Captain America's acid trip.

[vivithefolle]

Hi Vivi, can you share some thoughts on the "Hermione deserves to be/should have married to XYZ because she is way too good for Ron" mentality of this fandom??

I’m gonna copy-paste a Quora answer of mine, because recycling is important!

Claiming that Ron is “out of Hermione’s league” is a statement rooted in sexism, classism and probably a bunch of other -isms.

It might seem like I’m just throwing buzz-words around but let me explain.

First off, the sexism.

Oh, the sexism.

As I’ve pointed it out in yet another one of my answers  (I’m so sorry for drowning you all in a plethora of links), Ron is very much a female-coded male character.

Ron is emotional, wears his heart on his sleeve, has anxieties and inadequacies, walks off in order to cool down, has a temper, puts other people before his needs, and pretty much adopts Harry when he rescues him in the second book. He’s the Heart of the Trio: he doesn’t rely on sole logic, he can believe something without proof, he is sensitive and thus is the easiest to hurt emotionally.

Whether you call it a “beta male”, a “wuss”, “defying gender roles” or a “soft boy” is your own business, but the core of it is that Ron doesn’t meet the standards for people’s vision of a “desirable” masculine figure.

The little things Ron quietly performs in the books - when he helps Harry into his pyjamas in Chamber of Secrets because Harry’s arm is bloop; when he’s worrying about Hermione’s whereabouts in Prisoner of Azkaban; when he helps Harry unwind after his visions in Goblet of Fire; when he puts food onto Harry’s plate and wakes him up from his nightmares in Order of the Phoenix; when he beams that Hermione was “perfect, obviously” when she passes her Apparition test - all those caring gestures don’t seem like much, but if you bother to think about it, they paint an enormous picture.

Who gets Hermione to stop overworking while making her feel good about her accomplishments? Who comforts Harry from his nightmares and cares for him in the dead of the night, when nobody is awake? Who makes sure his friends are healthy and happy? Who wards off the dark and depressing thoughts, be it with his fists or a joke?

It’s Ron.

When you think about it, “traditional masculinity” in Harry Potter is as much frowned upon as “traditional feminity” is - which sometimes bites Rowling in the butt when you remember how she obviously seems to consider that Hermione and Ginny are the only desirable kind of girls.

Vernon Dursley? The entrepreneur “king of the household” prejudiced suburbian middle-class Dad? Fits in the usual tropes of traditional masculinity.

Dudley Dursley? The typical “boys will be boys” spoiled middle-class only child who’s the apple of his parents’ eyes and even takes up boxing, as if he wasn’t traditionally masculine enough.

Draco Malfoy? See Dudley, but toss in “upper-class posh aristocrat bully who doesn’t like to get his hands dirty so he has henchmen do it for him because he’s too rich for this sh-t”, would remind you of a few Christian Greys or Gatsbys.

Dolores Umbridge? Oh no, cat pictures, decorative plates, talks to teens as if they’re babies and PINK, SO MUCH PINK!!! So disgustingly feminine!!

Rowling very much frowns upon traditional gender roles - with Molly Weasley being an exception because Rowling feels very strongly about being a mother, and relates to Molly a lot.

Right - so, being a beautiful mess of paradoxes and contradictions (a “soft boi” who also punches bullies in the face, a fussy mother-hen who swears like a sailor, a tall athlete with badass scars on his arms who’s nurturing and sweet; in short, a wonderfully human character), Ron is obviously going to be a polarizing character. You painfully relate to him and get defensive when he’s criticized, you feel his characterization hits a bit too close to home so you hate him, or you disregard him completely because you can’t see anything “special” about him…

Now, onto another very, very sexist point that is often made.

People say that Hermione “deserves better” than Ron, often claiming that they “aren’t intellectual equals”, then citing Harry (who is mistaken as being some sort of slumbering genius but honestly, the kid is really a bit daft) or Draco (since apparently, being rich must equal to being intelligent) or, god forbid, Snape (because he’s a teacher and teachers are meant to be clever).

Soooo, I could go the loooooong way and pull out all the receipts that prove that none of these characters are perfectly intellectually matched to Hermione…

Or I could go the long way and simply give you this: this obsession with finding an “intellectual equal” for Hermione reflects the mentality of “women are not allowed to be better at something than their husband”.

Yep.

A woman has to be all-around pretty good at everything, whereas a man has to be the absolute best in his area of greatest competence (surely better than any puny female!) with a help-meet there to compensate for his weaknesses. People are very, very uncomfortable when Ron and Hermione reverse this dynamic. Hermione is extremely intelligent and dedicated to intellectual pursuits, but is complete pants at things like self-care and people skills. Ron is bright enough to keep up with her and strong in her areas of weakness.

Even if Ron was as dumb as a sack of rocks (he’s not), his other virtues are more than enough to “justify” Hermione loving him. (Because she needs an excuse?) But no. A woman has to be with a man who outdoes her in her area of greatest strength. - credit to @lytefoot

People don’t want Hermione to be with a man who’s her “equal.” They want her to be with a man who can be The Man so she can know the contentment of being The Woman.

But, with this sexist line of thought, how do we justify how Ron is supposed to be such a bad match for Hermione? Because if it was just about mere sexism, Romione would surely be more popular. Imagine! Ron happily raising the children, being a house-husband and proud of it, while Hermione is out there fighting for justice in the wizarding world! What a power-couple, defying norms and gender roles and not being the least bit conscious of it, prime OTP material for sure! So why do people still want Hermione to put Harry, Draco, or god forbid², Snape in Ron’s place? Is this an irrational hatred of redheads? An Harmionian’s delirious wet dream? A failure to separate the actors from their characters?

It’s all this and, quite frankly, something more: the inherent classism that comes with Ron’s status as an explicitly working-class coded character.

I know, I know, “Vivian! Calm down with the buzzwords, you’re starting to sound like an online pretend-feminist magazine!”

Or “Come on, people who don’t ship Ron and Hermione together aren’t all sexist or classist!”

Of course, of course! I know that! I’m not implying that!

But some of the “reasons” why they claim that Ron and Hermione can’t work - are extremely classist in nature, that’s just it!

Come on, think about it! What are the Number Ones arguments people always pull against Ron? Or the most common Ron-bashing tropes (look at fanfics and watch the number of stories that use at least one of those)?

Ron is stupid/mediocre

Ron is lazy/useless

Ron resents his wife’s hard work/success

Ron is a homophobe

Ron is a drunkard

Ron (the big prude who at 16 had never kissed a girl and sees a first kiss as the prelude to a wedding) is massively oversexed and cheats on Hermione with anything that moves

Not only do these “reasons” completely ignore ALL OF RON’S CHARACTERIZATION - except for the “lazy” bit but come off it, all teenagers are lazy and Hermione’s the exception to the rule - but it matches perfectly with the negative stereotypes associated with working-class white men in fiction.

It’s also very funny to note how many (assumedly middle-class or financially secure) fans look down on Ron for being “whiny” or “greedy” when he expresses the desire to have money of his own, or blame his parents for “not knowing when to stop” or “being irresponsible”, or even look down on them for being “too proud to accept help”!! Also how shocked people are when Ron dares to stand up for himself when Hermione or Harry act badly towards him. How dare this country boy not listen to the wisdom of his social “betters”?

So, obviously, because our Heroine can’t go with a Nasty, Mediocre Working-Class Man, she must be paired off with someone of Proper Status: say, a Hero that was raised in a middle-class home and might be a bit psychologically damaged but it’s nothing all those gold coins in his vault can’t fix; or this Rich Posh Aristocrat who actively rooted for her death, he’s a little bit eccentric and has some exotic pet-names to call you, but I’m sure you’ll learn to love him and will unearth the gold coins in his bank account… I mean, the heart of gold that lies within the surface; oh, why not a Way Too Big An Age Difference Teacher if you’re looking for a “cultured man” who has zero things in common with you; we can also bring Convenient Plot Device Famous Rich Foreign Athlete if you want some diversity and you don’t feel original!

But we can’t - oh, we mustn’t let her be with this Terrible Working-Class Boy! His brothers are fine, they have money, they have jobs, so they’re obviously Not As Mediocre. But let our precious Hermione be with this Just-Got-Out-Of-School hooligan? She can’t possibly be in love with him! You’ll see darling, you’ll get bored eventually! He’s too mediocre for you, you deserve a man who outclasses you - I mean, who can provide for you! You’re a fragile little flower who scars people for life when she’s not happy with them, what makes you think that this boy can possibly handle you even though he’s done so for the past seven years?

You wanted it, you got it.

People are shallow, have misconceptions about Ron’s character that they are unwilling to correct or use classist and sexist arguments to try to make it so that either Ron is the Devil himself / Hermione is a higher kind of being that can only orgasm if sufficiently “intellectually stimulated” / what-have-you.

[squadrablog]

Would you consider a reader (whatever gender interests you)/Ghiaccio fic? Scenario: he's trying to impress the person he's dating with White Album tricks to varying success. Most Ghiaccio content, regardless of if its reader!fic or not, writes him as abusive, demeaning, or boils him down to angry screaming and nothing else, so it'd be refreshing to see something that's not that!

I have to admit that the use of the word “tricks” really threw me off, but I pieced together some sort of coherent scenario based on the premise. Most of my work went into the other part of your request, because I 100% agree with your thoughts on Ghiaccio’s typical characterization. I hope you like it! (Also this goes for this fic as well as what I’ve written before but I haven’t mentioned it, my use of italics is preserved on Ao3 but not on tumblr. Just a heads up.)

Ghiaccio x They/them Reader (some feminine language used)

Ao3 Mirror Here.

Word Count: 5393

Warnings: Uhhh. None this time as far as I can tell!

Under cut for length!

“So are you going to help or not?” Ghiaccio grumbled under his breath. Formaggio was currently leaned back leisurely in the base’s common room recliner with a smug grin on his face, basking in the rare moment of Ghiaccio’s humility.

“Sorry, sorry,” Formaggio said, finally leaning forward, placing his elbows on his knees and chin on top of his knuckles. “I just don’t want to forget the time that Ghiaccio came to me for relationship advice.”

Ghiaccio was practically biting down on his tongue to keep from snapping at him, but the truth was Formaggio was the most experienced in the art of romance relative to all his other squadmates and he really was desperate for any help he could get.

What else was he going to do, ask Melone? Yeah, right.

“I just need your help deciphering some shit they said, don’t get a big head about it,” Ghiaccio said, leaning back in his spot on the couch and crossing his arms over his chest. “You’re better than me at...  people.” It was a tough thing to admit out loud, but Ghiaccio’s social awkwardness was of course no secret to anyone who knew him. For all the talent he had reading people’s intentions in the midst of a battle, when it came to his interpersonal relationships he felt less capable. Of course, that was on other people and their arbitrary social conventions, not him.

But you were different. You said what you meant and spoke in plain language without ulterior meanings or motivations, and you accommodated him and his idiosyncrasies in all the ways that mattered. In fact, you were such a nice change of pace from other people that he tended to overthink everything you said out of habit, projecting hidden meanings where they normally would have existed with others.

“Lay it on me, dude. I’ve gotcha,” Formaggio assured him, his smirk turning into something a bit more cordial and supportive. Ghiaccio let out a deep exhale before talking again.

“We were on a date and I don’t remember what we were even talking about, but they give me this… weird smile,” Ghiaccio began. “And they said ‘Ghiaccio, it’s okay to be more vulnerable around me.’ Said that I could ‘trust them,’ and that if things are going to get any more serious between us they want to see more of the ‘real me.’” He leaned forward as he steepled his fingers. “They know, don’t they?”

“Know what?” Formaggio asked, his eyebrow raised.

“What I do for a living, what else!? They figured it out and now they expect me to say it out loud,” Ghiaccio said, throwing his hands up in the air. “That’s what that means, right? The ‘real me’ they’re talking about?” Formaggio gave a small chuckle and Ghiaccio turned to shoot him a glare. What was so funny about your safety, as well as La Squadra’s, being compromised?

“Dude…” Formaggio said, trying his best to keep a straight face. “You’re fine, chill ou- I mean… calm down.” Ghiaccio mercifully let the original choice of words slide. “If they did know, that’s not how they’d bring it up. No, what they’re trying to tell you is,” Formaggio began, leaning over in the recliner towards the edge of the couch to clap his hand on Ghiaccio’s shoulder, looking him dead in the eyes, “you’re not romantic enough.”

Ghiaccio crinkled his nose at that, but tried to stop himself from getting immediately defensive. “What do you mean exactly?”

“I know you already know this, so don’t freak out if I actually say it, but you’re not exactly… the suavest guy. Or the best at flirting.”

“We’re already together, what do I have to flirt for?” Ghiaccio said, his eyes narrowing.

“See? That’s exactly what I mean! You said they like cute stuff and sweet foods and cuddling right? Someone like that definitely wants you getting a little mushy and lovey-dovey. Everything you say about them makes them out to be this real sweetheart, but the way you say it is always so… technical. So analytical!”

“They say my attention to detail is one of my best qualities,” Ghiaccio protested.

“I don’t doubt it. Look, you’ve got plenty of passion, and based on how much inane shit you know about them that I think they don’t even know about themself, you’re very attentive.” Formaggio might have chosen to say ‘neurotic’ instead, but it was obvious Ghiaccio genuinely loved you and he was trying to compliment him to soften his initial criticisms. “It just sounds like they’re looking for a different side from you as well. The charming heartthrob buried deep within that hard bitter exterior.”

“How is any of that the real me?” Ghiaccio asked, his eyebrows furrowed. Was this really what you had meant? Were you not satisfied by the way he was currently showing his affection? Did the ‘vulnerability’ you talked about really mean you wanted more sappy saccharine schlock?

“It isn’t… yet,” Formaggio said with a wink and a finger gun in his direction. “I’ve got a few ideas though that’ll spark that flame.”

“...I control ice,” Ghiaccio said flatly.

“That you do,” Formaggio said, his eyes twinkling. “That you do.”

---

“Hey, babe,” Ghiaccio said after you opened your front door for him, his posture a bit stiff, one hand behind his back, and his eyes staring at you intensely.

“Babe?” you asked with a laugh, raising your eyebrow. The usage of a nickname was strange enough on its own, but the way he said it was so wooden.

“Does that bother you?” he asked bluntly, his eyebrows furrowing in concentration. “Is there a name you prefer?”

“Whatever comes easiest,” you said with an amused smile.“Which for you is usually just my name, right?”

“I just thought I’d try it out,” he said with a shrug, trying to look unaffected by how you had brought attention to the unnatural way he said it. “Anyway, I got you this.”

Ghiaccio usually never came to your apartment empty handed. Before picking you up for a date he always met you at the door with the intention of handing off whatever he had before the two of you headed out. While they weren’t exactly ‘gifts,’ he always brought exactly what you needed, usually before you had even realized you needed it.

One time he came over and saw that you were low on milk, and the next day before you two headed out he had a gallon in his hand when you opened the door for him. Another time he brought a new lightbulb for the lamp in your living area, and once he replaced the old one you couldn’t believe you had been living in such awful lighting conditions for so long without realizing it. It had been the right wattage, right size, and it even had the LED filaments you liked that gave the light a warm natural texture.

Today he had a box of chocolates. You took the box and gave them a look-over. It clearly wasn’t from a grocery store; they looked expensive. Needlessly so. Sometimes Ghiaccio would spend a little extra on things he knew you really needed or things that you had personally expressed you wanted. You liked chocolates well enough, but they weren’t exactly your favorite, and you were pretty sure he already knew that.

“Fancy,” you murmured. “What’s the occasion?” You smiled up at him, tilting your head to the side. While you of course appreciated the gesture and were not ungrateful to receive free chocolate, it was very out of character for him and you were beginning to get suspicious.

“Do I need an excuse to treat you?” he asked, scratching the back of his head a bit sheepishly.

“I guess not. Thank you very much, Ghiaccio. I really appreciate it.” You said it genuinely, and you gave him one of your sweet smiles that always made him smile back involuntarily. You turned around to head to the kitchen and set them on the counter. “Let me just get my jacket and we’ll head out!” you called back at him.

“The weather is going to be warm today,” Ghiaccio blurted out, a bit too quickly. “I don’t think you’ll need it.” You turned around and your eyes raked over him before you met his gaze again.

“But you need one?”

He was indeed wearing a red athletic jacket, to match his glasses, over his black turtleneck shirt. He turned away from your eyes. “I dressed before I checked,” he mumbled as an excuse.

You supposed it seemed warm enough out, even if you thought you should bring your jacket just in case it got chilly later since the seasons were changing. But that still didn’t give a reasonable explanation for Ghiaccio’s behavior right now. You acquiesced, which seemed to appease him, and headed out with him to his car. You’d ask him what was on his mind once you were on the road.

“Hey, what’s that?” Ghiaccio asked suddenly, pointing to the side as the two of you approached his car in your complex’s parking lot. You followed the direction of his finger before you suddenly lost your footing on a smooth slippery surface, yelping and falling forward towards the asphalt in a mess of flailing limbs.

You were saved, however, by Ghiaccio’s arms catching you as you collided with his chest, awkwardly clutching at him, a bit frazzled by the near-fall.

“Watch your step,” he said, with something playful about his tone. You glanced up and he was giving you what looked like a friendly smile, although it didn’t reach his eyes. Usually if this kind of thing happened he’d be cursing under his breath as he fussed over you, making sure you were alright. While you were glad he wasn’t getting worked up right now, it still stood out as yet another strange change in behavior.

“Thanks…” you breathed out, righting yourself. His arms were wrapped around you just a moment longer than they needed to be, and when he let go you turned around to look at the ground, only to see nothing of interest. “What did I even slip on?”

“I don’t know, but I’m right here if you slip on anything else,” Ghiaccio said, his hand slapping down on your shoulder. You gave him an incredulous look, and a small huff. Now that you actually had time to process it you had to ask yourself what the hell happened. Was that fall somehow on purpose? If you didn’t know Ghiaccio any better you’d think he was just trying to play the dashing hero there. But you did know him better, which is why it didn’t add up.

“I probably wouldn’t have slipped if you hadn’t distracted me,” you asked, your eyes narrowing before you turned back towards the direction he had pointed earlier. “What were you even trying to show me?” It seemed like he didn’t have an explanation ready, fumbling over his words.

“Sorry,” was what he settled on, facing away from your gaze, his cheeks saturated with a bit more red as he looked properly embarrassed. Sorry for what exactly you weren’t entirely sure since it wasn’t an explanation, but you would drop it for the moment, if only to give him the proper time to come up with the right words. Obviously there was something deeper on his mind that was making him act strange, and when that was the case he needed time to reflect before he spoke so it didn’t come out as a frenzied incoherent mess.

It was quiet in the car at first, as he scrunched his eyebrows up while he got lost in thought. Once you had been driving for a bit he finally spoke. “You know I’m committed to this relationship, right?” he asked, his tone wavering just a bit.

You smiled. “Of course I know that. You show me that every time we’re together.”

“But I’ve never said it,” he said, sparing half a second to glance at you before his eyes were back on the road.

“You don’t need to.” You set your elbow down on the center console and turned towards him. “You’ve been really weird since you picked me up. Is everything okay, Ghiaccio?”

He quickly glanced over again and let out a small sigh. “I just want today’s date to be special.”

You gave him a quizzical look, which he couldn’t see, before leaning back in your chair. You hadn’t made any grand plans for today other than going for a walk at the park and getting some dinner together later in the evening, but perhaps Ghiaccio had planned some sort of surprise that he was nervous about? You’d let his weird behavior slide and not prompt him for details for now, as curious as you were, if it meant you were going to get a proper explanation eventually.

---

Ghiaccio knew he was already off to a bad start. Formaggio made it all sound so easy, but it seemed like the more he tried to turn up the charm the more awkward it made things. He hadn’t wanted to orchestrate a situation that would cause you to slip on some ice he summoned with White Album, but Formaggio said that saving you would get you all flustered. You mostly seemed annoyed. Ghiaccio just felt like an asshole.

Why did he spend so much money on chocolates when he could think of a dozen other sweets you’d enjoy way more? Formaggio said chocolates were ‘classic’ and the price tag would show just how thoughtful he was. He had spent so much time trying to find the highest quality chocolate possible that he forgot to pick you up shampoo like he had planned. Last time he was over at your place he noticed your hair smelled different, like the old backup shampoo you used when you ran out of the stuff you liked.

While the two of you took your stroll at the park Ghiaccio was a lot less talkative than usual, trying to split his attention between listening to you and convincing himself to go through with another one of Formaggio’s suggestions.

He slowly began lowering the temperature around the both of you in small increments over the course of your walk so that you wouldn’t notice the change right away, and although he had been uncharacteristically quiet so far he finally spoke up once he saw you shiver.

“Are you cold?” he asked suddenly, cutting you off just before you could finish your current sentence, which you were noticeably unhappy about.

“Yeah, a bit actually,” you said, wrapping your arms around yourself, looking up at the sky. “Even though it’s really sunny out.”

“Do you want to borrow my jacket?” Ghiaccio asked, already slipping it off himself.

“I wouldn’t need it if you’d let me bring my own,” you said, giving him a peeved look and a half-smile. He awkwardly started to drape the jacket over your shoulders. “But thanks.”

There was an uncomfortable pause in talking as you two walked for a bit before Ghiaccio said: “You look cute,” and after a beat, “In my jacket.”

You just shrugged, turning to give him a halfhearted smirk. “Bright red and sporty isn’t exactly my style.”

Ghiaccio let out an involuntary shiver of his own, not realizing he had unconsciously been letting the temperature continue to drop. You frowned at him before shrugging the jacket off and handing it back to him.

“I don’t need-” he grumbled defensively, but you moved to stand in front of him, stopping him in his tracks. You draped the jacket over his shoulders like he had done to you and then zipped him all the way up before he had even moved to put his arms through the sleeves properly.

“You look cuter in your own jacket,” you said, before walking on ahead while he fumbled with his arms, his cheeks heating up at the predicament you left him in. Once you were a little ways away and out of the range of where he had focused White Album you called back, “I think it’s warming up again, anyway!”

“Get back here, you clown!” he shouted back at you, finally getting his arms where they needed to be. Since that had panned out so poorly, Ghiaccio just called off his stand and jogged ahead until he was back in line with you. All this had managed to do was make him feel like a real jerk for telling you to leave your jacket at home just so he could offer you his. It was so utterly transparent, shamefully so.

“Hm… ‘clown’ sounds much more natural coming out of your mouth than ‘babe,’ does,” you said. You had a bit of a skip in your step that you didn’t have before, and he was glad that getting back at him had improved your mood. His expression softened when you smiled earnestly at him. You bit your lip for a second, looking a bit more hesitant, before you asked: “Are you done trying to be a romcom cliche yet?”

“Is that what I’m doing?” Ghiaccio said with a small scoff. Of course it was. Everything he’d been doing felt so fake in his own mind and body, so there was no way you weren’t seeing right through him. 

“Is it not?” you asked with a quiet laugh, your smile falling just a bit. “Is there something wrong, Ghia?”

God, whenever you called him Ghia he always had a hard time keeping his cool. He grabbed your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours, his gaze fixed forward and his jaw set tight, his face starting to match his jacket in color. “No,” he said firmly. “Nothing is wrong. I’m just being stupid.”

You squeezed his hand. He wasn’t big on PDA, and considering the context of everything else you were still unconvinced he was okay. “You don’t have to do things you don’t like just because-” you started, but he squeezed your hand a bit harder than you had to his.

“I’m holding your hand because I want to,” he said, plainly, if not a bit embarrassed. “Getting you chocolates was stupid, you never get chocolates on your own if you have a choice on sweets. Making you leave your jacket at home was stupid, you’re too pragmatic to rely on me to give you one, and too considerate to keep it on while I’m cold. But I’m doing this,” he said while giving your hand a softer squeeze, “because I want to.”

The matter-of-factness of it cleared all your doubts, and you blushed a bit yourself. Ghiaccio knew you very well, and it wasn’t empty flattery or false acts of chivalry that got your heart going. It was things like the systematic way in which he described the things he noticed you liked or that he found attractive about you. Or the way he surprised you with genuine moments of vulnerability like this that you longed to see more of.

The two of you finished out your walk in silence, a comfortable one this time, hand-in-hand.

---

“I do trust you,” Ghiaccio said, a bit of a non-sequitur since it was unprompted by your current topic of conversation. You were both at the restaurant that you had made reservations for, seated at an outdoor table on a rooftop with a nice overlook of Naples. You had your jacket on; Ghiaccio had insisted that the both of you go back to your apartment to pick it up, and now that you were out in the crisp early evening air you were glad. “I need you to know that I do.”

He scratched the back of his neck, thinking of the best way to say what he wanted to say. “But when you said you wanted me to be more vulnerable, what did you mean? Because it obviously wasn’t whatever the fuck I tried doing today.”

“That was your take on ‘vulnerability’?” you asked with a barely restrained laugh.

“No. It was Formaggio’s take,” he clarified, looking off into the distance with a grumpy expression. You had never met Formaggio, but you had heard many stories about the man and his various antics. “He said you wanted me to be more romantic.”

“Maybe? But not if it’s forced and you set up convoluted situations yourself like some sort of jackass chessmaster. I also said I wanted to see the ‘real you’. Where did that factor in?” You raised an eyebrow at him as you took another bite of your meal.

“I don’t know,” Ghiaccio admitted with a groan, poking at his food and scowling.

“When I said I want you to be vulnerable I meant that I want you to do things like… how you held my hand because that’s what you wanted to do, not because you thought you should. Or things like… I’ve seen you happy, and just about everyone has seen you angry, but I’ve never seen you sad, or afraid, or… well, I hadn’t seen you particularly shy before, but I guess you showed me that today, even if you weren’t trying to,” you said with a smirk.

“You don’t need to deal with my bullshit,” Ghiaccio said, looking at you with an unreadable expression. You frowned.

“Ghiaccio, I want to deal with your bullshit, I want you to rely on me! I also want to know more about the person you are on your own, outside this relationship. You’re always so closed off about things like your personal life.”

Ghiaccio looked back at his food with furrowed brows, stabbing at it a little harder and more frequently. “What if you don’t like the ‘real me’?”

“Ghiaccio.” You reached across the table to grab his free hand, but he just scrunched his neck further down into himself, withdrawing like a turtle. “I love you.”

He stared at you blankly, before his fork was clattering to the ground in his frantic attempt to take your hand in both of his. “Are you fucking serious!?” he spat out, causing several other diners to look over at your table. He had been thinking the same thing for a long while now, but he had been too anxious to say it out loud.

“Dead fucking serious,” you confirmed with a big smile.

In that moment he really felt like he could tell you everything. About Passione, about being an assassin, about stands, even about the lofty goals his squad had for taking the whole criminal empire for themselves. And maybe he would, but right now he realized that he was staring at you slack-jawed like an oaf.

“I love you too!” he said, letting go with one of his hands to slap the table to punctuate his next declarations. “So goddamn much, I’m thinking about you all the fucking time, about how much I don’t fucking deserve you, about how beautiful you are, about how you always eat what you like the least first so that you end your meals on the best note possible,” he said, gesturing to your plate of food, the central part of the dish still untouched as you worked on everything else around it. You brought your hand up to hide your growing blush and stifle a giddy chuckle. He would often compliment you, and he would often get worked up, but rarely did he ever get worked up over complimenting you.

“Ghia, you’re going to make a scene,” you said, more for the sake of appearances than anything as the other patrons watched your table. Honestly, you could listen to him shout praises at you all night.

Eventually after he got everything out of his system he was panting a little from the exertion of it all. “How’s that… for vulnerable…?” he asked between exhales.

“It’s an improvement,” you said with a cheeky grin.

“I had one last thing planned for our date, but I wasn’t sure if I should go through with it after everything.” He smiled at you, one of those rare gentle smiles where all the creases in his brow smoothed out. “But I think you’ll like it.”

“Oh?” you asked. So he did have a big surprise planned after all?

You waved a waiter over and after you paid the bill you and Ghiaccio were soon back in his car, driving down unfamiliar streets towards what was for you an unknown destination.

---

“What do you mean ‘closed for repairs’!?” Ghiaccio demanded of the person on the other side of his phone call, trying once again to open the locked doors in front of him. “The lights are on in there and I can see the rink from here! Looks frozen to me!”

After a few more frustrated exchanges on the call he hung up. “Apparently the system is malfunctioning and it’s not safe to skate on it,” Ghiaccio grumbled, pressing his face up against the door of the ice skating rink one more time, watching the various maintenance workers move about, pointedly ignoring the irate blue haired man banging on the front entrance.

“It’s okay, we can do it another time,” you consoled him. “I can’t ice skate anyway.” You had never expressed interest in it before, and while it seemed like a fun thing for a couple to do you weren’t exactly too excited about trying it or too disappointed that you couldn’t.

“We weren’t going to be-” he huffed out before trailing off, rubbing a hand down his face in annoyance. “Okay, originally Formaggio had pitched this as another one of his schemes, but I didn’t bring you here to pretend to teach you how to skate while you stumbled around. Instead I was thinking… I wanted to show you something.”

You tilted your head to the side. “Show me what?”

“Look… I’ve got one more idea to make this work out, and if it doesn’t then I’ll tell you. But I really want to show you first if I can. If we head out now it’ll still be light enough,” he insisted, heading back towards the car. You followed after him, your curiosity now piqued.

You two were in the car for a while as you noticed you were getting farther and farther away from the city and out onto the countryside. When you pulled up to a makeshift dirt parking lot at the top of a small hill you realized where you were.

“I used to come to this lake a lot when I was a kid,” you mused quietly. “I hope you aren’t thinking it’s going to be frozen over? It’s way too warm for that.”

“Well, I guess we’ll have to see,” he said with a smug grin. You just raised an eyebrow at that response. “Can I ask you to stay in the car for a few minutes?”

“Sure…?” you said slowly, watching as he exited the car and disappeared down the side of the hill. Not too much time had passed and he was walking back up the hill and towards the back of the car, popping the trunk then closing it, before eventually coming around to your door. You opened it and let yourself out, noticing that Ghiaccio was holding laces in his hand with a pair of shoes slung it over his shoulder, and based on context those were probably ice skates. Did Ghiaccio really like skating enough to own his own pair? He’d never mentioned it as a hobby before today.

Soon the two of you were trudging through some dense foliage and over to the side of a lake that was inexplicably frozen. You stared at it, wide-eyed.

“What the…?” you muttered, turning towards Ghiaccio with an expression that demanded answers. He offered none, giving you another smug smile before sitting down on a rock. “How did you know it was going to be… it hasn’t even snowed yet this year!”

“I’ll tell you later tonight, if you really want to know,” he said. And he meant it. But right now there was something else he wanted to show you. “But I didn’t bring you here for the lake.”

You were able to suspend your incredulity for his sake, though it wasn’t easy. After the shock of the lake had fizzled out a little you watched him take the very nice, if not a little bit worn down, pair of ice skates in his hands. He slipped off the shoes he was currently wearing and slid his feet into the skates, lacing them up, while you watched him in silence.

“So you’re going to skate… by yourself?” you asked, arching an eyebrow at him. “And I’m just going to do what, watch?”

“That’s the idea,” he said, finishing up and standing himself upright, maneuvering to the lake’s edge, and before you could complain he shot you one last look, a genuine smile, before he pushed himself onto the ice.

Your boyfriend didn’t share a lot of things with you, but you were surprised that he never saw fit to mention the fact that he was apparently a professional Olympic-level figure skater. Your initial shock at the state of the lake was completely forgotten as you watched him dance across the ice with a level of precision and grace that you had never expected from the man.

And he was pulling out all the stops to show off for you. Spinning in the air, skating low and practically parallel to the ground, skating backwards, skating on one leg with the other poised far behind him in the air. Every jump he made looked too risky, too intense to possibly land smoothly, but as you stood mesmerized you could almost swear that the ice raised up to meet him each time.

After his initial bout of tricks, he skated back over to you and his face looked more relaxed and content than you had ever seen it. “Impressed?” he asked with a confident lilt to his voice.

“Ghia… you’re incredible,” you said, still in a daze. “Why didn’t you tell me you skated?”

“Because I don’t,” he said, his posture tensing a bit, his expression almost embarrassed. “Not anymore. I’m banned from every major figure skating organization in Italy.”

“Oh my God, what happened?” you muttered, finally snapping back to reality and looking up at him with concerned eyes.

“Scandals. Sabotage. None of it helped by my temper,” he grumbled. “It’s this whole big fucking complicated nightmare that I don’t want to talk about right now.” He gestured for you to come meet him at the edge of the lake, and you stepped forward, taking your hands in his as he held them out. “But I loved figure skating. It was the best time of my life, before I met you, and I’m tired of pretending that time never existed. Even if all I can do now is share it with you, then that’s still something.”

“Oh, Ghiaccio, it’s okay” you cried out, your tone consoling, wrapping your arms around him in a firm hug, causing him to stumble a bit on his skates. “I love you so much. Thank you for sharing this part of you with me. I love you, I love you!”

“I get it, I get it, I love you too, you’re going to push me over!” he yelled, trying to pry you off of him. Eventually you released him and stepped back to flash him a tender smile, tears threatening to spill over the corners of your eyes. “What are you crying for?” he muttered, looking away from your intense expression.

“You were crying first!” you shot back, your tears finally flowing. Ghiaccio brought his hand up to his face and realized that he had indeed been gently weeping for a while and it had gone completely unnoticed by him. He huffed before turning around and skating away. “Don’t you skate away from your feelings, Mister!” you called after him.

You watched him skate for some time, seeing him getting lost in his own world out on the lake, chasing after something he thought he’d left behind. He was beautiful. Utterly beautiful. The whole night had been magic, the impossible frozen lake something from another realm. Eventually it got too dark to see properly before the both of you headed up the hill to the car, hand-in-hand.

[hinasho]

isle of the lost vs descendants 1 characterizations

the book ends literally when the movie starts so their personalities cant be that different right? lets see

(similarities posted at the bottom!)

DIFFERENCES:

book: when evil queen goes on about beauty related things, especially in regards to her daughter, usually evie would begrudgingly recite whatever “tip” eq taught her and just go along with what she says. not to say she hated those kinds of things, but whenever her mother brought it up, she never expressed similar excitement or engagement. more often than not she was indifferent to her mother’s beauty antics, and we only see her talk about them in regards to herself in the last few chapters (im not talking abt the mirror incident, but the one liners she’d drop about her appearance here and there) movie: when the parents first tell their kids about going to auradon, eq talks about sprucing her daughter up before she leaves and evie is visibly excited about the makeover. she also goes onto encourage it on others as seen when they’re all in the limo and she tries to put makeup on mal.

book: the villain parents are not friends and we almost never see them together. the one time we saw the parents/adults all together was in the prologue scene for evie’s 6th birthday party. after that they never interact and dont pay each other any mind. this is especially true regarding evil queen and maleficent, as they state in the book that they’ve been at odds ever since they fought over who’d rule the isle. eq has also just been welcomed back into society after being banned by the other, so time-wise, at worst, they are still enemies and, at best, barely tolerable acquaintances. movie: evil queen & maleficent have a significantly close relationship, so much so that eq knows her house like the back of her hand and where maleficent keeps things, specifically that her spellbook is in the fridge. they even have a laugh about how they use to run things before being forced to live on the isle. they seem to be genuinely close. 

put the rest under the cut bc this post is too long lol

book: jafar and jay’s mantra is “whoever has the gold makes the rules” which was significant because it helped them while in the forbidden fortress movie: jafar and jay’s mantra is “there’s no team in I” (while this change was surprising, i also wasn’t that upset abt it bc both book and movie!jay struggle with teamwork)

book: carlos is not athletic at all and goes on about how he hates gym class. he is very focused on stem and doesn’t really care about any other kind’ve hobby. meanwhile jay is athletic and does casual parkour when going anywhere. movie: both of them do extreme parkour in the opening song. im not referring to the dancing ofc, but the extra flips and tricks they do. this is not unusual for jay, but is in regards to carlos.

book: jay isn’t the only one that goes around stealing things, mal very much does it to. at the end of the day they’d even compare how many things they’ve stolen to see who’s the best thief. jay usually wins, but still, both are thieves. movie: when they get to auradon, mal is very confused as to why jay would take the time to steal things and even needs for him to explain why he does it.

book: ben describes audrey as a classic fairy tale princess. she finds all things in auradon lovely and beautiful, and even has a bird land on her finger during their date. while she does think negatively of everyone on the isle, she acts mostly “lovely and sweet” before anything else, and it is not faked. think: giselle from enchanted. movie: idk how else to explain this difference besides “audrey just has a different vibe”. she is more regina george-esque than genuinely cheery, and puts on an obviously fake smile and attitude so often that queen belle expresses distaste for her 

SIMILARITIES:

mal likes art and goes around the isle putting up tags --- (the romance storyline wasn’t bad, but it would’ve been nice to see mal maybe join an art club? or get into painting or smthg else related to her hobby)

carlos is afraid of dogs --- in the book he can’t even say or hear the word bc it’s a trigger for him. he can say “puppies”, but he cannot say the word dog. whereas in the movie, he says the word several times. this is an extremely minor difference to be fair

when they’re afraid/think they’re in danger, they all cling to jay

they’re not used to sunlight 

the ben & mal tension on first meet (and continued infatuation before the cookie scene) --- in the book both characters have had a dream about the other. they didn’t know who the other was, but they remembered the dreams vividly enough that they were able to describe their faces in detail. in the movie when they first meet, both pause on each other several times. it’s likely because of the o’l Disney Romance™️, but it could also be because of curious recognition. 

jay is a flirt/smoother charmer and girls fawn over him

carlos is good with and likes science & technology

mal wanting to prove herself to her mother & the others not being as set on it --- in the book, mal is constantly reminded of the times her mother has called her “not worthy of bearing her own name or of being her daughter” and it causes mal to lose her cool several times. the other VKs also have parental issues ofc, but ones that are not as focused on proving themselves like mal’s are. theirs lean more towards other problems. in the movie she is extremely insistent on reminding them what they’re at auradon for and that this is their “one chance to prove themselves”

the core four freeze in fear when confronted with the reality of their parents’ pasts

mal can touch maleficent’s scepter --- to be fair that dance number in the museum was most likely just mal daydreaming, but still

jay going off on his own/following his own plan --- in the book jay and jafar plan for him to go with mal to the forbidden fortress and then double cross her and steal the scepter for himself, taking it as their “big score”. in the movie when they first see the wand with their own eyes, he runs off in front of everyone and only opens the gate enough for himself to squeeze through. carlos has to open it wider so they can all get through it after him. and once theyre in the same room as the wand, he reaches for it first against mal’s wishes.

carlos is bad at sports --- this is in both the differences & similarities section because, while in the book & movie he’s bad at sports, in the book he also doesnt like them and has no desire to do them as he is completely focused on science & tech. while after some practice in the movie, carlos joins the tourney team alongside jay. (i personally would’ve preferred for him to join a computer or engineering club)

mal can manipulate people with ease (book: evie / movie: jane & ben)

fairy godmother is mainly the one that enforces the “no magic” rule --- beast may have created it, but both in the book & the movie, people/creatures talk about fairy godmother being the one that restricts them

carlos climbs trees/searches for higher ground when afraid

evie knows how to use her looks, specifically her smile, to get the things she wants (book: persuading dr. facilier / movie: getting info out of chad)

audrey likes to dance 

carlos is sarcastic & competitive 

mal cheers up evie when she’s upset 

evie is good with academics

ben wanting to be his own person rather than act like his father --- this was a good continuation from book to movie as ben only realizes he needs to be himself in the final chapters, which he just continues to encourage in the movie. 

mal’s spur of the moment saving tactics

the villains aren’t good with computers/the internet --- the isle canonly doesn’t have wifi and in the movie the villains struggle with the laptop that was most likely given to them from an auradon representative

audrey’s family still being deeply traumatized by what maleficent did 

belle not letting beast talk shit 

mal pitying her mother for what she went through --- in the book: when she sees the past of what happened at aurora’s christening and sympathizes that her mother was nothing but a sad lonely girl. in the movie: the “and i really wish you hadn’t gotten there yourself” line during ben’s coronation

annddd yeah!

honestly there were a lot more similarities than i was expecting, and i am pleasantly surprised! book to movie things dont usually crossover well, but honestly, the first movie didnt do too bad of a job of it. 

tbh i think the one that probably suffered the most was audrey’s character. she really seemed very different from her book counterpart. this isnt to say that book!audrey was a saint and would’ve treated the VKs kindly, but she also wasn’t a fake person and was genuinely that cheery and upbeat all the time. whereas in the movie, it seems like almost nobody likes her (except chad) bc of her “fakeness”. 

i personally think if they were gonna go with the “bad girl and her minion” role, then audrey should’ve been the minion. in the book she was kind’ve an airhead (?? idk she just tended to have her head in the clouds a lot) and if one of the auradon girls told her to act a certain way towards the VKs for the “good of auradon”, i could see her listening to them. i dont know if she’d be the one to come up with the evil deed herself though. 

overall, the continuity flowed pretty well. i wish they didn’t change audrey’s character like they did (they probably could’ve had jane play the role of ‘stuckup girl’ tbh since she was a new character and her mother had a higher position in the kingdom compared to audrey’s parents anyway, so smthg to boast abt), but other than that, the movie’s characterizations were kinda close to the books!

[mysterylover123]

BKDK + Romance Tropes

“mysterylover123

Childhood Friend Romance

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ChildhoodFriendRomance?from=Main.UnluckyChildhoodFriend

“Childhood Friend Romance is a part of romantic plots, when characters develop romantic feelings for someone who they spent their childhood years with.“

This one is pretty easy, of course. Anime in particular really loves this trope. Childhood Friends Turned Lovers. 

Tsundere

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Tsundere

“The Japanese term tsundere refers to an outwardly violent character who "runs hot and cold", alternating between two distinct moods: tsuntsun(aloof or irritable) and deredere (lovestruck).The term was originally used to describe characters who began with a harsh outgoing personality, but slowly revealed a soft and vulnerable interior over time, which made this a plot trope as much as it is a character trope...The Tsundere stock characterization is very popular with writers of Romantic Comedy because the conflicts between the two personality facets can be easily utilized to generate both drama and comedy. “

Lots of fans debate if BKG is a Tsundere, but in the basic def of Tsundere as character who starts as harsh and becomes kinder, especially towards LI, seems fitting to me. 

Wall Pin of Love/Kabedon

created by Just another black sheep 

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WallPinofLove

“This trope is better known to the Japanese public as the "kabe don" (wall pound). It's when a character (usually Always Male) physically corners a Love Interest using the body to block any chance of escape. It's often accompanied with a "BAM!" sound effect from pounding the wall (the "don" in kabe don)...The Wall Pin of Love is a very popular staple in Shojo and Yaoi romance.“

While I’m iffy about the implications of this trope, it is still an anime romance trope, and the anime team at Bones decided to throw in BKG doing a Kabedon for Izuku. I think they might ship it or something.

The Not Love interest

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheNotLoveInterest 

“The Not-Love Interest is the phenomenon in which the character fulfills a typical "Love Interest" role, but isn't intended by the writers to have that kind of relationship with The Hero...My Hero Academia:The Rival Bakugou to The Hero Midoriya. Bakugou is a source of inspiration to Midoriya, and more than one arc revolved around Midoriya trying to save or protect Bakugou. Both character's personal arcs are intimately intertwined and advance together with the plot of the manga.“ 

Always Save the Girl (Love interest)

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AlwaysSaveTheGirl

“The hero makes it plain that they value the life of their Love Interest over those of everyone else...It can come about as the result of a Sadistic Choice, only having enough time to rescue one person out of several, a case of the Dulcinea Effect, or whatever other requirements the plot puts in their way and plainly making a decision.“

Deku during the Hideout Raid/Training camp arcs really goes out of his way to save Kacchan, f the consequences. 

Battle Couple

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BattleCouple

“This is the kind of couple where bullets figure prominently in the story of their romance. Where "war buddy" and "significant other" are synonyms.”

They’re set up to be a superhero duo who fight together in the future. So this popular anime trope can apply.

Belligerent Sexual Tension

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BelligerentSexualTension

“There's a couple,...who are not able to admit their feelings. At the top of their lungs.Despite the conflict, there is an attraction. This is usually obvious to everyone around except the couple. Confront them with the obvious, they'll deny deny deny. Sometimes they will progress to admitting their friendship but insist they are Just Friends. Eventually, they can admit their feelings to practically anyone except their loved one. It ends up where both characters dance around admitting their feelings as if the words "I love you" are some sort of death curse, much to the frustration of the audience and the other characters.“

Pretty self evident, but they bicker a lot to hide their real feelings. 

Cherry Blossoms

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CherryBlossoms

“A common symbolic element in anime and other Japanese media, falling sakura petals have several interconnected meanings, depending on who they are falling on and the context thereof...Sakura season is thus a highly visible sign of spring, the beauty of nature, renewal of life, and first love... but can also represent the transiency and fragility of beauty, life (especially a samurai's life), and love.”

Again pretty simple: Cherry blossoms either meaning renewal/love or death. Since they pop up when D and K turn from middle school to high school, so the renewal/love interpretation seems to be right.

Crush Blush

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CrushBlush

“Love — even Puppy Love, perhaps especiallyPuppy Love — makes the young and innocent blush.”

This blush isn’t in the manga. They added the blush onto baby Deku in the anime. (manga scene isn’t a close-up). And since he blushes around his official love interests...

Dismissing a Compliment

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DismissingACompliment

“Alice hears a compliment — of any type and quite possibly sincere — from Bob and says that it was not sincere, such as doubting he meant it for her particularly, or calling him a charmer, or a rogue, a silver-tongued devil or other less than honest characterization, or it flattery, or telling him to stop it, or describing it as an exaggeration.The compliment can be sincere; Alice can even know it. It's a ploy to avoid having to take the compliment at face value, and respond accordingly — assuming it's not fishing for more compliments.Ranges from a simple form of banter or flirtation — common with UST “

Yep. Lots of BKG doing this.

Finishing Each Other’s Sentences

(My favorite example of this is from Shoto Todoroki Origin: Deku: His movements are...Baku: Slower...”

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FinishingEachOthersSentences

“We've all heard it before... literally. Some people know each other so well, they finish each other's sentences. The effect is usually a demonstration of how close the two people are — they're so familiar with one another, they even think alike.”

First Girl Wins

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FirstGirlWins

“In romantic works, the first girl introduced — either overall or as a potential Love Interest — has a very good chance of ending up with the protagonist (especially if the protagonist is male).”

First Boy in this case. But yep. First Friend and BF Deku ever meets and likes as a little adorable kid. 

Her Boyfriend’s Jacket

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HerBoyfriendsJacket

“How does a TV show demonstrate that Bob and Alice are a couple? How to do it quickly and without making a big deal about it? Simple, Alice wears Bob's jacket. If Bob's some kind of athlete, expect it to be his letterman jacket.“

I think the gauntlets count. BKG gives Deku a piece of his clothing. 

Like an Old Married Couple

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LikeAnOldMarriedCouple

“Two characters who seem very comfortable with each other to the point that it seems like they have been married for a long time, though obviously it doesn't apply to couples who actually have been together for a long time. Usually it is done through constant arguments with each other, as only people who are so closely bonded can have such open communication between them (whether they will admit it or not).“

I picked this scene because they really do sound this way in this moment. Like, the “This is why we never have real conversations” scene. They sound like they’re arguing about getting directions.

The Reveal Prompts Romance

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheRevealPromptsRomance

“Alice and Bob are talking, and Bob has decided that it's time to come clean. He's going to tell her his dark and terrible secret. This secret could be one or more of any number of unpleasant or shocking or dumbfounding things. Maybe Bob is secretly a crime fighting vigilante, or a spy, or some kind of superbeing in disguise, or The Mole, or maybe he really likes reggae music. Whatever the secret is, it's going to be something that causes Alice to see Bob in an entirely new light, and totally reinterpret much of Bob's behavior.“

The Reveal is a pretty popular romance trope in Superhero comics - (Spider-Man and MJ, Superman and Lois, etc.) and so far Deku hasn’t told anyone else. 

Rivalry as Courtship

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RivalryAsCourtship

“A character in a story becomes romantically interested in someone and believes that the best way to get his/her attention is by being just as good as (s)he is, if not better, at something that (s)he does. “ 

This one is a rare anime trope but definitely around. So Rivalry Romance is kind of a thing. 

Violently Protective Girlfriend/Boyfriend

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ViolentlyProtectiveGirlfriend

“A violently protective girlfriend essentially acts like a much younger Mama Bear, except her Berserk Button is harm to her mate rather than to the kids; note that this inverts the usual expectation that the boyfriend is violently protective of the girlfriend (which may still be the case).“

Or Boyfriends, in this case. They are uber protective. 

[kingjinxii]

Ren’s Ryoma Rewatch: Episode 1

In Which I Fall in Love with Soft Tennis Goro Akechi

Introduction

So, I’ll be honest. Ryoma is the reason I started watching Stars Align in the first place, because he looks like one of my other favorite characters, Goro Akechi from Persona 5 (the similarities end at appearance). I basically came into the show already attached, and the more I think about him, the more I believe that understanding him could be key to understanding Toma and possibly Maki’s character arcs.

The setup of these posts are simple: I mark down anything I feel may be key to understanding Ryoma, along with bits of Toma and Maki’s characterization that may help. Explicit canon and information are marked in bold, whereas my own speculation and inferences are marked in italics.

I hope people can use these posts to help understand Ryoma and the Shinjo/Katsuragi family dynamics!

7:28 - Middle school team hasn't won a match in 4 years

9:22-9:36 - First Ryoma appearance

Ryoma seems to wake up later than Toma. Figures, considering he’s a college student.

Ryoma is closer to Maki than Toma is to Maki in the beginning. They're close enough that Ryoma knows Maki moved back while Toma doesn't.

Ryoma calls Maki just “Maki” with no honorific. This is called “yobisute”, and denotes that Maki is an incredibly close, almost familial friend. However, Maki is also younger than Ryoma, so while the no honorific thing is important, it’s common for older Japanese people to refer to younger people by their first name, especially if they’re kids.

Ryoma also knows Maki likes astronomy.

Flower motif - white lilies. In Japanese flower language, white lilies are associated with purity. They’re also associated with girls who love girls, but I doubt that’s a meaning they’re implying here lol

10:49 - Flashback to little Toma from Maki’s POV. It’s done in pastel tones. Lucky 4-leaf clover!

11:05 - Book was a surprise gift from Ryoma. It appears to be brand new, in a bookstore shopping bag. It seems like Ryoma knew clearly in advance that Maki was coming, if he knew to buy a “welcome back” gift, and what day Maki would be at school.

Maki addresses Ryoma by his first name with no honorific, whereas Toma is referred to by his last name, with no honorifc. Maki referring to Ryoma in this way would usually be highly disrespectful (since Ryoma is 5-7 years older than Maki), unless they are just that close. Considering what I said about Ryoma referring to Maki in the same way, it’s pretty safe to assume they’re basically like best friends. Maki deosn’t seem as close to Toma, despite them being the same age. Still, even though he refers to Toma by his last name, he still uses no honorific, so they’re still friends(ish), even if Maki isn’t as close to Toma.

The book is the Astronomical Almanac, a star calendar and map.

Toma doesn't answer when Yuta asks if Maki is a friend. Toma doesn’t consider Maki a friend at this point in the story? However, he does smile, so they must still be friendly. It’s probably just evident of how long it’s been since they’ve seen each other last.

13:30 - Astronomical Almanac appears again

13:50 - Toma refers to Maki by his last name with no honorific, mirroring Maki doing the same.

14:55-15:53 - Ryoma appearance, in Ryoma's room.

Ryoma's room: Lots of leafy houseplants, green and brown earth tones. People have established that Toma is usually associated with green. Looks like Ryoma is similar!

15:10 - Magazines on Ryoma's bed: Both about sports. The top one features a soft tennis team, the bottom one is explicitly a soft tennis magazine. Might belong to Toma, as they are next to him rather than near Ryoma.

Ryoma notes that Maki just transferred so he might not have many friends. He believes this is the original reason Toma wants to invite him to the soft tennis team

15:18 - Ryoma is surprised the soft tennis team maybe get disbanded, and seems conflicted, but has a lukewarm reaction.

Nature photography on his corkboard. Right to left, an orca, two forest scenes, a fox, and a giraffe. While the riverbank is an important location in the show, you don’t see really anyone associated with water. So the orca is an interesting choice.

15:22 - Ryoma is a club alumni, who went to nationals.

Ryoma appears to understand what his brother is thinking well, practically finishing his train of thought (of Toma thinking Ryoma would want him to keep the club alive) before he could.

Ryoma believes in whatever the team decides. He doesn't think he should have a say, whereas Toma expected him to be upset.

15:45 - Ryoma has an iPad. (lol)

Toma assumes Ryoma thinks lesser of him. He appears to have low self-esteem.

Ryoma doesn't appear to chase after Toma to explain himself.

16:00-16:36 - Ryoma appearance with his mom.

Ryoma has a smartphone. I can’t tell the model but I’m going to assume it’s an iPhone considering he has an iPad.

More flowers, different from the ones from the previous day (sunflowers). Sunflowers are associated with respect and passionate love. (Uh...I’m gonna say a yikes here folks). Interesting to note that while Ryoma’s room is full of lots of leafy plants, there are no flowering ones.

Prefers just coffee instead of eating breakfast. If he’s still an athlete, he really should be more worried about his health! [Insert “Breakfast is the most important meal of the day!” PSA here].

Is in college, has friends (plural).

16:18 - Shinjomom attempts to guilt him into staying for dinner. She doesn't even say anything outright, and Ryoma already knows what she’s attempting to say.

Dad is on a trip, and may travel a lot.

Mom says Toma is "nothing like [Ryoma]".

Ryoma shuts down after his initial attempt at argument.

Ryoma calls his mom "kaa-san." It’s a pretty generic way to just say “mom”, but I do want to note that technically the standard was to talk to your mom is to call her “okaa-san”, so dropping the “o-” may denote slight familiarity.

16:30 - Ryoma likes his coffee dark. Maybe black. Just a little characterization note here: stereotypically in Japan, liking sweet things and having a sweet tooth are associated with children and femininity. Since Ryoma likes his coffee dark, he prefers bitter things, so going by stereotypes (as this is a trope-filled anime), we can safely assume he’s a fairly masculine guy.

Mom has dark thoughts around Toma. It appears to be pretty common.

17:03 - Moon and Venus, with seagull. I did say that there’s basically no character associated with water, but pretty much everything in this shot (aside from Maki’s fingers) has some sort of water connection. The moon pulls the ocean tides, Venus was named after a goddess that was born from seafoam, and a seagull...is a seagull. They’re associated with the sea. It’s in their name. I know there was a meta post by someone else about this shot a while back, and I’ll hunt for it later.

Maki Kyobate. Not super important to Ryoma, but Maki’s old last name is useful to note anyways. Maki’s shit dad can, as such, be referred to as Kyobate-san. Could maybe tie into why Ryoma refers to Maki by his given name, rather than his last name, considering the last time Maki was around, he must have been going by Maki Kyobate.

The Shinjo family is well-off enough that they don’t need to worry about money. Toma can afford to buy Maki’s uniform and equipment.

19:13 - Maki forgot/didn't know Ryoma was an alum.

Toma knows Maki cares enough about Ryoma that that information could be used as leverage.

19:18-19:24 - Ryoma appearance, flashback featuring little Maki. Is this their first meeting? Also important to note that, unlike the flashback of Toma from earlier, this one is not done in pastel tones, and instead is done in the show’s usual coloring style.

Ryoma either practiced at a shrine or hung out there from time to time.

Ryoma was already in middle school and on the soft tennis team the last time Maki was around. Considering he’s a college student by now, that puts him at around 19-21 years old.

Ryoma has seen Maki injured.

Maki knew Ryoma had a racket, but didn't know Ryoma was a soft-tennis player. “He had a racket back in middle school. So that must have been a soft tennis racket?” I’m putting the dialogue here because there are some interesting implications going on just in that one line. Maki knows Ryoma had a racket, but he didn’t know it was a soft tennis racket. If Maki and Ryoma are as close as they appear to be, they must have talked and hung out a lot, so it’s odd that Ryoma never...mentioned that it was a soft tennis racket, and that he played soft tennis? Unless Maki just straight up forgot, but that seems really unlikely.

19:23 - Ryoma's racket was red. Again, Toma is associated with green. Maki is also associated with blue. Their tennis rackets match their colors. Ryoma’s, however, is red. His bedroom is very green though. I know all the rackets that are used in the show are based on real soft tennis rackets, so I may hunt down the model Ryoma is using in this image.

Maki seems to want to join now that he knows Ryoma was apart of the team and approved of him joining. Again, he’s incredibly close to Ryoma, and that fact that this is the first thing that gets him to actually consider soft tennis is telling.

Maki only joins after asking for money. Since we’ve already passed the summer tournament, I just want to note that Maki earned 40000 Japanese yen by joining the soft tennis team and winning at the summer tournament. That’s around 370 US dollars, 480 Canadian dollars, 280 English pounds, or 330 Euros! Some some fun trivia.

Toma assumes Maki accepts joining without him saying anything. Like, seriously, he doesn’t even wait for an answer.

Toma is incredibly persistent. He chased after Maki for several days, and continually sweetened the deal for joining. That boy really wants Maki on the team, even if it’s just because he wants to win and not necessarily because they’re close.

Maki’s first racket is blue. Again, they’re all based on real soft tennis rackets and I know there’s a post with Maki’s model somewhere.

22:15 - Maki’s shit dad shows up. Pretty much everyone knows this, just noting it for posterity.

Recap

What have I learned?

In order from mostly canon to mostly speculation:

Ryoma is a young college student, around 19-21 years old, and a formerly successful soft tennis player.

He’s explicitly said to be in college, and that he was an alum of the Shijo Minami boys’ soft tennis team, and ended up going to nationals.

However, currently it’s unknown whether he stuck with the sport or stopped after middle school. He has sports magazines on his bed that focus on soft tennis, but they may belong to Toma, considering they’re positioned next to him, rather than, for example, on Ryoma’s desk or shelves. In fact, Ryoma doesn’t appear to have any magazines on his shelves, nor does he have any photos of soft tennis on his corkboard. (Toma doesn’t take the magazines with him when he leaves, so they could be Ryoma’s. I think there’s evidence leaning both ways. Hell, they could just be sharing them.)

He also seems surprised that the soft tennis club is doing so poorly, and when Toma suggests recruiting Maki, Ryoma’s first thought is of the camaraderie the team provides, and not necessarily about Maki’s technique or physical talent. This possibly shows he doesn’t/didn’t necessarily take soft tennis as seriously as Toma does currently.

Ryoma and Maki were/are relatively close friends.

Ryoma and Maki both refer to each other using their given names without honorifics. Ryoma knew Maki was coming back to their city, and knew with enough time in advance that he was able to prepare a welcoming gift for Maki, the Astronomical Almanac, which Ryoma knew Maki was interested in.

Interestingly, Maki wasn’t aware that Ryoma was a soft tennis player, despite him basically being his team’s ace player. If there were truly as close as they appear to be, it’s interesting that it was...never brought up at all. This may tie into my theory that Ryoma isn’t as into soft tennis as he appeared to be. Maybe he just had natural talent, and he was more into it for the friends, rather than the sport itself.

Ryoma has seen Maki injured, and considering this was back when Maki Katsuragi was still Maki Kyobate, aka when his shit dad was still living with him, Ryoma may know a lot about Maki’s abuse. Ryoma may have even been the person Maki vented to about his dad, and he might still be, considering they seem to still be in close contact. It’s an interesting friendship for sure, considering the age gap.

Maki and Toma aren’t as close as Maki and Ryoma are (at least, not in this episode, as they do get closer relatively quickly). Maki only refers to Toma as “Shinjo” (no honorific), so while they may have been close as kids, they aren’t as close now.

Ryoma and Toma are set up as opposites and foils.

A foil is a character that “highlights someone else's trait, usually by contrast.”* 

Toma, again, is associated with the color green, which is also the color of his racket. However, Ryoma’s racket, as mentioned before, is red. Red and green are opposites on a color wheel in basic color theory. Still, it may be a stretch to say that Ryoma’s color is definitively red, because Ryoma is also associated with green and earth tones in his room.

I was going to save this for when I rewatch Episode 3, but I feel it’s worth mentioning here. Ryoma’s room is filled with leafy plants. Toma’s room has plant life too, but his plants are cactuses, plants that don’t need a lot of water, whereas Ryoma’s would. Again, opposites.

The plants they own can also hint at how their mother feels about them. Ryoma’s plants require a lot of water, and he’s his mother’s favorite, whereas Toma’s plants are ones that flourish in a dry environment, and...explicitly, Shinjomom hates him.

There’s a bit more contrast though, both in how they appear to approach soft tennis and how they approach conflict and resistance.

I already discussed in depth above how Ryoma doesn’t seem to be as obsessed with soft tennis as Toma is, despite being a well-known star player, so let me focus on the other contrast.

There’s two scenes in this episode where Ryoma is met with friction and immediately backs down, or ignores what’s going on. The first is when Toma is angsting about the tennis club shutting down, and he assumes Ryoma thinks that he can’t save it. Toma runs out of the room, and while Ryoma calls after him, we don’t see him try to explain himself, or even get up out of his chair.

The second is when Shinjomom is asking him to stay for dinner, using her hatred for Toma as leverage. She starts off subtle in her distaste for Toma, but Ryoma seems to immediately know where her train of thought is going. He tries to reply gently, but is cut off by her snapping at him, and he just...shuts up.

It’s becoming more and more clear to me that, while Ryoma is a fairly gentle and kind person, he’s really non-confrontational.

This is in sharp contrast to Toma, who spends days trying to convince Maki to join the soft tennis club. Toma knows his club is going to get shut down, he thinks his brother doesn’t believe he can keep it alive, but he doesn’t want to give up. He’s going to get Maki and his sharp reflexes on his team if it kills him, and he won’t take no for an answer.

Maybe it just has to do with maturity. After all, Ryoma’s racket was red, a color associated with hot-bloodedness and strong emotion. Or maybe, it’s just like Shinjomom says, in that “[Toma] is nothing like [Ryoma]!”

Conclusion

Both surprisingly and unsurprisingly, I think I covered a lot of ground of Ryoma’s characterization and role in this episode. Unsurprising since it is the first episode he was introduced, and surprising since...you know, it’s only been one episode. However, Ryoma doesn’t appear in most episodes in the series (he has appearances in episodes 1, 3, 9, 11, and 12, yes I did count), and this is the one where he appears the most, so I doubt most of my other recaps will be this long.

Still, I hope this was informative for some people, even if no one else is as obsessed with him as I am.

Is Stars Align and Ryoma my new special interest? Eh, maybe.

See you in the next recap!

[styledeepdive]

The Body Types of Men

Hi there! Welcome to my Men’s Style Guide. Settle in, because we are about to take a long, hard look at the different body types of men, and what looks best on different types of guys. I do style reports primarily based on a system of body typing invented by a dude named David Kibbe so we call it the Kibbe system. The idea is that there are 5 main body types that are based on bone structure. The types are Dramatic (tall and narrow), Natural (tall and broad), Classic (a symmetrical blending of all the types), Romantic (small, rounded, and slightly wide), and Gamin (a chaotic mixture primarily of dramatic and romantic, typically quite small).    In this system we also talk about yin (rounded, soft, “feminine” features) and yang (prominent, sharp features, steep angles, and vertical lines).  Clothing recommendations are based on how much yin/yang mixture you have in your own body. No type is “better” than any other type, and your type does not change with age or weight. The following is MY INTERPRETATION of the body types. Some of these men are verified types by David Kibbe, some are simply my best guesses. My styling tips are based off of my own observations as well as information gleaned off of chatrooms and forums that discuss Kibbe body typing. This is not, in any way, an official Kibbe typing, just my opinions. There is not a lot of verified information on the body types of men, so I’m doing my best with what I got.   (From left to right, Dramatic, Natural, Classic, Romantic, and Gamin)

So, let’s explore the main types a little further.

DRAMATICS   Dramatic men are tall and long, with an extremely sharp bone structure, and very straight, narrow, facial features. They have an overall combination of strong, sharp physicality, a cool reserve, and a charismatic power. They are the most sharp + angular of all the types. As actors, dramatic men are often cast as the evil genius or the aloof, brooding hero.  Sometimes both!  Benedict Cumberbatch, Christopher Walken, Daniel Craig, and Mads Mikkelsen are Dramatics.   

  The thing that most people first notice about dramatics is how visually striking they are. They can appear almost “brutal” to the eye. They have long vertical lines, with long arms and legs, and long faces, often with narrow eyes, prominent noses, and/or thin lips. They faces can appear quite chiseled to the eye, as their bone structure is sharp and protruding. They often have chiseled features, high prominent cheekbones, and overall read as lean, even when they gain some fat or put on some muscle. They are usually quite tall, at least 6 feet.  Dramatic men look their best in stiff fabrics with clean, long lines of color.  Large lapels and high, stiff necklines look great on them.  Often these lines are used to further highlight their prominent cheekbones.  Their hair looks good slicked back and bold, or sculpted in geometrically in some way. Monochromatic outfits look incredibly chic on them.  Long stiff coats look amazing on them. Minimalist outfits look best on them.  Go for bold, clean, and sleek lines.  This includes the face: seems like clean shaven is more flattering than facial hair, generally.

When they are photographed, they are typically posed in a stern manner, not smiling. Usually their cheekbones are highlighted by a steep, straight angle near the face.  Often they are shot in black and white to maximize their contrast and natural contours. On other body types this severe style can look a little silly, but on dramatics it looks just right. 

Dramatic men look a little weird in overly soft looks, drapey looks, beachy looks, boho looks, or any fabric that isn’t stiff enough to compliment their structured body. Avoid bisecting the body in half with a color block. Avoid sloppy untucked looks. Avoid colorful, contrasting details near the face.  Avoid overly colorful prints and busy patterns in general. Avoid also overly slim, hipster-cut looks, you need a little room in your clothes to look your best.

 To look your most memorable, create long, unbroken lines of color as much as possible.  

A boxy wool trench coat with a stiff collar would also look amazing on any Dramatic, and could be your signature piece. Go for it.

 Soft Dramatics Soft Dramatics are exactly what they sound like: a person who has a tall, angular dramatic skeleton but with more flesh on their bones, so giving an overall softer appearance to the body. They can be a bit wider than true Dramatics, as well.  Matthew McConaughey, RuPaul, John Travolta, Christian Bale, Nicholas Cage, Alan Rickman, and MTT are Soft Dramatics.

Because they by definition they are a tall or tall-appearing type, they look great in monochromatic looks as well, but with a softer, more luscious, shinier fabric in the sleeves, neckline, or otherwise accenting the look to soften it.  Here you can really see the long vertical line still present in the bodies, but you can also see an overall softer appearance to the body, especially in the face - fleshier cheeks, larger eyes, fuller lips - and typically styling themselves with a softer, more rounded outline.

In this photo I hope you can see how much softer and fleshier the face appears to us than it does on pure Dramatics, whose skin is much tighter over the bones.  This is not a weight thing, all of these men are quite lean - this is just a way that the flesh forms over the bones.   Still, at the end of these day these men have dramatic skeletons, with prominent noses, jaws, and brows, and long arms and legs - and that’s important to remember when trying to identify them.

Soft Dramatics can dress in Dramatic lines, but also want to acknowledge their extra yin (rounded, soft features) by adding in some softer, rounder lines to their clothes and hair.    One way to do this is by using fun rounded accessories, like oversized glasses or big bow ties, scarfs or even ascots. Now - I’m not entirely sure if Ru Paul is soft dramatic or dramatic, but this picture of him, where he’s posing with himself in drag, is one of my favorites, because you can see how Kibbe’s soft dramatic style suggestions work regardless of gender presentation - Here Ru is showcasing long lines of color but with added, rounded elements (hair, glasses, scarves, neckline, even the curve of his bald head) in both outfits.

One thing I noticed about soft dramatics is that they can really pull off the sweater-underneath-a-jacket look.  This makes sense: stiff and structured shape of the blazer plus the softer, more rounded shape of the hoodie around the face is a nice compliment to the yin/yang balance.  

I also found that cowboy hats looked pretty good on Soft Dramatic actors, as it’s stiff and bold enough for them but also rounded.  I thought that was interesting.

Yup, it checks out for Ru too! Not his most memorable look for sure, but wouldn’t you agree he pulls it off surprisingly well?

And in conclusion, here’s a few more of MTT looking dramatic and soft at the same time, perfectly illustrating this body type (check out those glasses!). Thanks, buddy.

NATURALS Naturals are characterized  by broad shoulders and a muscular body type, with an angular but broad bone structure, and wide facial features that tend to be blunt edged. They are a naturally athletic body type that often looks pretty strong, muscular and slightly wide, even when overweight.  They have a casual physicality, and a fresh and open essence. They can be moderate in height to very tall.  

  Natural Men look good in natural fabrics, casual outlines, matte sheens, and need a bit of space around the neckline. A typical uniform for a natural man is a v-neck t-shirt and tapered jeans.  Denim + suede jackets look great on them.    Button down shirts should have one or two buttons undone (at least) to look best.   

Naturals are split into two groups - Flamboyant Naturals and Soft Naturals. Flamboyant Naturals Flamboyant Naturals are usually on the taller side, with a bit more angularity than soft naturals. They may have a sharp nose or chiseled jaw, or longer arms and legs. They are very wide through the chest the torso; they are what we often refer to as “barrel-chested.” Because of their extra yang, Flamboyant Naturals can pull off more dramatic lines than soft naturals, but they both still look their best in a more relaxed, casual style.  Flamboyant Naturals are typically quite athletic, and it doesn’t take much for them to gain quite a bit of mass.  Even though Flamboyant Naturals can look great in suits, they just look the most themselves, their most charismatic when they’re a little bit scruffy. Here’s Harrison Ford in various states of unzipped-ness, for your consideration.  Give the people what they want, Harrison! These men, when actors, are cast as superheros. Chris Hemsworth,  Winston Duke, and Hugh Jackman are all Flamboyant Naturals (although only one, Hugh Jackman, is verified by David Kibbe).  Here they are in their “natural” state (har har).

And here they are doing that whole adventurer thing that looks so good on them:

And here they are a bit more cleaned up:

Even though Flamboyant Naturals can look great in suits, they just look the most themselves, their most charismatic when they’re a little bit scruffy. Here’s Harrison Ford in various states of unzipped-ness, for your consideration.  Give the people what they want, Harrison! 

  Because of their extra yang, Flamboyant Naturals can pull off come crisp, tapered lines.  Matte finishes are still best. A slim-fitting, tapered silhouette on Harrison Ford looks really nice here.

Soft Naturals Soft Naturals are a little softer in flesh, a little smaller in build, and a little “cuter” than Flamboyant Naturals. They really look their best in matte fabrics and with a significant amount of room at the neckline. Loosely tucked in shirts look nice. Fabrics like suede and cotton look great. These men, when actors, are often cast as the rough-and-tumble, lovable but slightly scruffy hero. Brad Pitt, Naveen Andrews, Tom Cruise, and George Clooney are all Soft Naturals.  

Soft naturals look so good with loose, rounded draping that photographers will literally pose them in bathrobes, or with water splashed on them. They’re the only type i found with professional photos like these! I think you can see even here that the more relaxed, the more tousled the look is, the more correct it looks and feels.  A little bit of drape goes a long way.   Always give your head and neck a little room to breathe. Rounded collars or soft v-necks with a little bit an undone feel to them look fantastic on you.  

Matte fabrics like suede look better than shiny, reflective fabrics like smooth leather on all Natural types.  

I think that’s because Soft Naturals read as “earthy,” and we want to see them in down to earth fabrics and colors.  Tom Cruise and Naveen Andrews both demonstrate great soft natural looks here. 

Another consistent trait of soft natural is that loose and draped looks better than high and stiff around the face and neck.  If this is consistently true for you, then that’s a decent clue that you may be a soft natural.  Or if you like to take your shirt off as often as possible.  That’s also a clue.

All Natural men look great with some pigment in their skin (a tan), some facial hair,  and a scruffy, undone look to the hair.  Anything too sculpted will seem stuffy on them. They are most often posed in motion, or in a way that looks candid, because otherwise they can look a bit stiff. CLASSICS Classics are balanced between the extremes of Yin and Yang. They are characterized by a symmetrical body type, with a tapered, even bone structure, and very regular, evenly spaced facial features. They are often photographed highlighting their cool, reserved essence. Pure Classics are pretty rare, they usually still have a slight undercurrent of either yin or yang.  John Slattery (below, left) is a Soft Classic. He is primarily balanced but with a yin undercurrent. You can see he is slightly softer, more tapered, more rounded, and more delicate than John Hamm (below, right) who is a Dramatic Classic, and has a bolder, more yang undercurrent.  Overall, however, both men read as moderate and symmetrical overall. 

Mad men is a fun show to watch for men’s fashion because they cast a bunch of classic actors and then put them in a bunch of classic suits, at least in the beginning.  John Hamm and John Slattery wore the classic suits in Mad Men so well that they literally revived the grey suit in the mid 2010s (the sale of suits doubled between 1998 - 2014, in part due to the show).  I love Mad Men for many reasons, but one of my favorite things they did was show, not tell, how Roger Sterling and Don Draper fit into their era (and then were subsequently left behind) simply through the lines of their clothes.

Classics are easily overwhelmed by bold colors and patterns, or asymmetrical details.  We can see here how unnatural John Slattery looks in this outfit on the right, and how balanced he looks in clean, simple lines on the left.  It’s clear simply through the lines of his clothes that  by the end of the show Roger Sterling (John Slattery) no longer dominates the world around him, and feels unnatural and awkward in it.

In real life John Hamm often tries to experiment with a more whimsical style than what his dramatic classic lines suggest he should wear.   I think the effect is that his specialness is lost, and he looks pretty unremarkable/overwhelmed in many of his chosen looks.  You can really see here that it is so easy to overwhelm his face and body unless he is in the simplest, crispiest of designs!!

I’d venture a guess that Daniel Dae Kim is a Dramatic Classic as well. He definitely has some Drama to his face, but I’d argue his whole body reads as overall moderate.  He is dignified and stoic looking in a similar manner as John Ham, and he looks fantastic in simple, clean designs. 

Idris Elba is another strongly Classic man, possibly a Pure Classic.  I believe Idris Elba was voted “sexiest man alive” at some point, and it’s not hard to see why. This is a man who looks equally at home on the red carpet or in jeans and a t-shirt.

I mean, my God.  So elegant.  So stylish.  So chic! 

But something funny happens if we try to mess with Idris Elba’s timeless look.  First of all, any attempt to overtly sexualize him backfires spectacularly.  The photos below look awkward and even a little vulgar. I mean, what even is this? 

Here Idris is actually demonstrating a reverse-Harrison Ford:  Even though Idris is beautifully sculpted by the gym and by God, he really looks his personal best when he’s buttoned back up and in simple, clean clothes. 

Similarly, an overly soft or whimsical look on Idris is certainly not his most memorable look, and I’d argue looks a little awkward on him.

The lesson here is that to look their best, Classics need to stick to simple cuts, minimal detail, clean lines, and one or two colors per outfit.  When they do that, they will come off as being effortlessly elegant and chic, and all eyes in the room will be on them.  If you’re a classic: stick to basics! ROMANTICS Ah! Romantic Men.  A misunderstood type, with many stereotypes that we will work to dispel. Romantic men are moderate to small, with a soft physicality and a magnetic essence.  Their bone structure is delicate and smallish with a tendency towards wideness. Their facial bones are small and delicate, and their facial features can be lush, full, and sensual.  I think, because of our gender-normative culture, that some men might resist being typed as a romantic. But they shouldn’t!! Romantic men are absolutely glorious.

Romantic men look best when they wrap themselves in softer, lush, fuzzy fabrics.  They look amazing in scarves, sweaters, lightweight to medium weight jackets, and with longer, rounded hair cuts.  Despite what many might assume, this is what highlights their male energy the most!   Kit Harrington is a really great example of this.  He looks best wrapped in furs and with long curly hair, and every time he or his stylist try to “man-up” his look (pictured below), it can get a little awkward.

To me, these looks end up accomplishing the opposite of what is intended: Kit looks alternately a bit stuffed, a bit gawky, and a bit tiny all at the same time.  However, as soon as we put him in his lines, his male energy becomes absolutely breathtaking: 

One quick way to help identify a romantic man is to see how good he looks in a scarf.  Not many men look good with soft draping next to their face, but Romantics always do, the more plush the better.  

Steven Yuen is not a verified Romantic by Kibbe but I really think he fits the bill.  He has a short veritcal line, is slightly wide, with rounded eyes, a wider nose, a soft mouth, a tapered jaw, and looks best in big sweaters and wooly fabrics.  

Leonardo DiCaprio is the quintessential Romantic man who battles against his nature. In his quest to be taken more seriously as an actor he tried his best to shed his “pretty-boy” image and look as sleek and sculpted and brutal as possible.  Ironically, he looks his most dynamic doing exactly the opposite.

Leo so hates wearing anything even suggesting Romantic these days it was a struggle to find a picture of him wearing a scarf when i did the collage of romantics in scarves. However, I found this incredible photograph that Annie Liebowitz took of Leo where she knew to drape him in something soft to actually help bring out his male energy.  The combination of soft and brutal in this photo is absolutely breathtaking, and so, so memorable.  Leo has not looked “memorable” for about 25 years, in my opinion, because he has refused to allow himself to be photographed or filmed in a vulnerable, soft way for decades. Ok… that’s not entirely fair. The closest he has came to nailing his lines in any movie since Titanic was actually the Revenant, because at least he had long hair and they draped him in fur.  Mere coincidence that he was finally memorable enough in the judge’s minds to win the Oscar?? :P

Theatrical Romantic If a Romantic has some dramatic influence to them and has some sharper bones and a thinner silhouette, then they are called Theatrical Romantic. They are primarily soft, like Romantics, but with a narrower silhouette and some sharper bones.  They can wear sharper lines to go with their dramatic influence, but should remember to keep fabrics loose and soft. Orlando Bloom, Prince, Kurt Cobain and Johnny Depp are Theatrical Romantics.

Theatrical Romantic men can wear all manner of ornamentation and look great. Rings, necklaces, hats, boas, big round sunglasses, flowers, polka-dots, etc. Hair looks great when it’s long and maybe a bit straighter than Romantics would style it (but still reading as flowy). They can really have fun with eclectic looks, bo-ho looks, or glam looks.  And they really do look their personal best when they do this. 

Casual looks are elevated by adding jewelry, tattoos, bandanas, and by using lightweight t-shirts that have some cling but also some drape.

Johnny Depp really knows how to pull off posing with a rug. Imagine Idris Elba or Harrison Ford trying to do that.

Here’s an idea: learn to play guitar just so you can use it as an aesthetic accessory! Just kidding.  

But it does seem like an awful lot of iconic musicians are theatrical romantics. Prince sure figured out how to make it work for him.

And Kurt Cobain!  People forget, but Kurt Cobain was of moderate height and had a very delicate, soft bone structure.  Look at his face. Look at how beautiful, how feminine, and how soft the facial features are.  Notice also, though, how sharp some of the facial bones are: like the chin, the thin nose, and the jaw line. 

Kurt Cobain was the anti-fashion style icon whose signature look shaped an entire generation’s aesthetic. The Kurt Cobain look still haunts all manner of musician to this day! And no one was more freaked-out by this than Kurt himself, who would tell reporters over and over again that this was just how he dressed. He would tell people his jeans had holes in them because buying new ones seemed like a waist of money.  He got his sweaters from thrift stores with rips in them because he didn’t give a fuck.  His hair was long because he was too lazy to cut it.  WHY THE FUCK WAS EVERYONE TRYING TO COPY HIM? 

Who knows how true this really is, but I will say that by around 1994 it does seem like Kurt Cobain was deliberately trying to troll the fashion editors who wrote about him by slapping on the most aggressively ugly, often feminine clothes he could find and daring people to copy him.

The ironic thing is that by adding mix and match soft eclectic accessories all over his body, Kurt was actually just making himself look better and better. That’s the weird magic of the theatrical romantic body type.  And when that accidental ornateness was met with a bit more openness and vulnerability in his face, the effect was that he looked incredibly himself, incredibly memorable, and frankly timeless.

Gamin We come now to Gamin men, who are characterized by their combination of opposites. Their yin is in their size and facial features, and they can read as small and boyish. Their yang is in their body type and bone structure. They are an overall combination of opposites on the yin and yang scale; sharply delicate physicality along with a fresh and zesty essence.  

For some people it can be a little hard to tell gamins and theatrical romantics apart at first just by the body typing. But the lines don’t lie: if you look best in high necklines, crisp patterns, contrasted colors, and extremely precision fitted silhouettes then you are a gamin!   Gamins really do have a youthful, playful energy that translates into photographs. It’s best if they are photographed in motion, but if not in motion then at least laughing or glaring or doing something energetic.   When there is a mischevious look in their eyes their whole face lights up and feels correct. There are two sub categories of gamins: soft gamins and flamboyant gamins. 

Soft Gamins

Soft Gamins read as small, thin, boyish, and yet still with an undercurrent of soft and rounded. They can have softer facial features, softer flesh, shorter arms and legs, rounder eyes, softer lips.  Fred Astaire is Kibbe’s only verified soft gamin but I think Bruno Mars and maybe Daniel Radcliffe fit the bill.

If you are a soft gamin, precision fitted clothing with high necklines and colorful, contrasting patterns is the name of the game.  Skinny, cropped pants look fantastic. Tight fitting polo shirts look fantastic.  Thin ties with fun patterns look fantastic. Pocket squares and other fun accessories look great as long as it looks crisp and fresh. Hair looks best when it’s slightly tousled and playful looking. 

Gamins run into trouble when they try to be too rugged, oversized, or casually dressed. It’s simply not their best look, and baggy clothes will actually highlight their smallness, creating the opposite of what i imagine would be the intended effect.

When dressing for events, go for as precision fitted as possible. This is not an exaggeration.  This is the silhouette that will allow you to shine in a room full of other people.  It will look crisp and correct on you, and everything else will dull your shine.

Flamboyant Gamin

Flamboyant Gamins are similar to Soft Gamins but with a slightly more angular build. They can have longer arms and legs, more squarish jaw, more prominent noses.   They still need crisp, sharp outlines to look fresh, but have a little more wiggle room to play with bolder shapes and different fabrics.  Bold prints look amazing on them, high contrast looks are incredibly chic on them. Rami Malek, Frank Sinatra, and Neil Patrick Harris are flamboyant gamines. 

Things like zebra print, pointy shoes, and super high crisp collars look amazing on Flamboyant Gamins. They get into trouble again when they try to go for a sporty or overly casual look.  

Like soft gamins, keep event-wear fitted, but also go for bold, crisp geometrics when possible.  Stiff bow ties and long thin ties look equally wonderful.

Conclusion + Sources + Resources Whether you’re a dude who’s trying to figure out your style, a partner of a dude who’s trying to help, or someone who’s just starting to experiment with menswear for any reason, I hope you’ve found this post helpful.  Please let me know what type you think you are in the comments!   When researching for this post I found the following websites + youtube videos to be incredibly helpful:

Aly Art’s video “Do Men Have Body Types?” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yHTkciJGLg The Sacred in the Secular: Men’s Kibbe Types https://charitysplace.wordpress.com/2019/06/26/male-kibbe-types/ Truth is Beauty: Some Thoughts on the Style Types of Male Celebs https://www.truth-is-beauty.com/blog/some-thoughts-on-the-style-types-of-male-celebs On the Enduring Influence of Mad Men Style: https://therake.com/stories/style/enduring-influence-mad-men-style/ -

[traincat]

It is true that Flash Thompson was not originally a bully and that later writer retconned him to be one to make Peter more relatable?

This is an interesting thing to explore and I don’t think it’s quite as clear cut as that, because it’s not like a retcon where the switch got flipped and suddenly This Is How Canon Is. It’s more of a messy canon landslide, filled with creator infighting. (In a move that I’m sure will surprise no one, just like people in fandom disagree with each other’s headcanons, different writers on longrunning multi-creator series disagree with each other’s headcanons. It’s just that they get to then make those headcanons canon.) But to take it back to the very beginning with Stan Lee and Steve Ditko’s run – no, I don’t believe Flash Thompson was originally intended to be a bully in high school, at least not in the same way he later became characterized during that time and not in the way that the word “bully” brings to mind in modern context. I think it’s more accurate to say that the original depiction of Flash in the Lee/Ditko run is as the popular student to Peter’s wallflower. Compared to Peter, Flash cares less about intellectual pursuits and schoolwork and comes across more as the Typical American Teenager of the time, complete with curly flaxen hair and sweaters with his initial on the front. Peter and Flash are certainly not friends in high school and Flash is verbally rude to Peter, but he’s certainly not the only one, and, especially after the spider-bite, Peter gives as good as he takes in that department and more. I’d describe the relationship in the Lee/Ditko run as “mutually antagonistic”, and that the nature of that antagonism is largely verbal. Out of the couple of times they have come to blows in the Lee/Ditko run, there’s one boxing match in Amazing Spider-Man #8 to “settle their feud”:

I don’t think this was approved conflict resolution between students even in the 60s, but whatever – anyway, long story short, after an attempt to figure out how to pull his punches enough so he doesn’t seriously injure Flash, Peter… still wipes the floor with him. 

Okay.

Then there’s a fight in Amazing Spider-Man #26, which only gets broke up because Liz Allan physically gets between them:

So in both of these original cases, it’s hard not label Peter as, if not the aggressor, then at the least complicit in these physical fights solely within the confines of the original Lee/Ditko run. I also think it’s notable in the latter scene that, though the principal blames Peter – and look at that flying tackle leap – Flash takes the rap for this fight so Peter won’t get in trouble.

Here’s the thing about Spider-Man as a series: there’s a big joke at the forefront of the series at its beginning, and the joke is that Peter’s dear old aunt might think he’s such a fragile boy, and his classmates might think he’s just another scrawny nerd, but he knows – and you and I, the readers, know – that that’s not true at all and that physically Peter’s much stronger than all of them and he knows – and again, we the readers know – that he could flatten anyone at school who looks at him wrong, and that it’s his own sense of responsibility and morals that keeps him from doing just that. It’s a very specific kind of joke, it’s an in-joke. We know it, Peter knows, nobody else knows it, and that’s why it’s funny. And that joke deepens when they introduce the element of Flash Thompson being Spider-Man’s biggest fan. 

(Amazing Spider-Man #17) So now the joke’s not only that Flash, as Peter’s classmate, might think he’s kind of a wimp, it’s that while he thinks Peter’s a wimp he simultaneously worships the ground Spider-Man walks on. I’ve mentioned before that in my opinion it’s a shallow take to boil Spider-Man’s humor as a series down to Peter’s quipping in fights; the narrative itself is clever, and Flash squabbling with Peter while simultaneously thinking Spider-Man’s just the greatest ever is part of that. To complicate things further, part of the reason Flash dislikes Peter at this point in canon is because he feels his girlfriend Liz Allan is gunning to get with Peter (and she is). Flash and Liz have an odd relationship; they’re ostensibly together through high school, but essentially they’re both obsessed with the same guy in different outfits. (This isn’t actually canon, or at least, it isn’t yet, but for the sake of the conversation: I do strongly believe that Flash, as he’s been written in 616 over the years, is gay. @bipeteparker has an excellent breakdown of the subtext here. And so while I do think it’s very easy to paint Flash’s feelings for Spider-Man as more than platonic, I also think his feelings for Peter eventually get, yeah, pretty romantic. Identity porn in practice!)

Peter and Flash continue this kind of mutual antagonism into the early days of college, where they both end up in Gwen Stacy’s social circle:

(Amazing Spider-Man #37) I do think the Ditko/Lee run is very important, but there’s a reason I don’t usually recommend people start with it, and it’s because if you’re used to Peter Parker being a certain way, Peter in the original run is uhhh. Let’s call him prickly, to say the least. For all of Flash’s posturing here in this scene, if you look at what’s actually on the page, he does sort of come off a little better than Peter – from his perspective, he’s trying to defend Gwen, his friend, from a guy he knows has a history of some pretty weird behavior. I don’t doubt that the original point of the scene was for the reader to come down more on Peter’s side of things (note Gwen’s internal monologue), but from a modern perspective, well – Peter’s being a pretty big jerk in it. (Peter mellows out a lot in college, and also when John Romita Sr hits the scene and replaces Ditko on art.)

So one of the things that kept Peter and Flash from being friends sooner – and within the confines of the Lee/Ditko run, kept Peter from having friends at all sooner – is that Peter’s responsibilities towards Spider-Man and his aunt did make him initially come off as very standoffish during high school and at the beginning of college, which was the result of him being, well, just superhumanly busy and having a lot on his mind, but which his classmates (who don’t have the reader’s privilege of knowing just what the hell is up with Peter Parker) did read as him thinking he was too good for them:

(Amazing Spider-Man #34)

Flash remarks on this same behavior in the future, after he and Peter have become friends:

“We all had responsibilities, Pete. But we made time for each other. You made it clear that you always had something more important to do than be with us. How do you think we felt?” (Web of Spider-Man #11 – with a classic Flash Thompson fashion look.) This is one of the downsides of Spider-Man; because of his secret identity, even the Peter people loves most in his life (and he grows to love Flash a very great deal) don’t really know every side of him. And it’s very easy for the reader to sympathize with Peter first and foremost because we know he missed that movie/dance/dinner/whatever because there was a supervillain on the loose, or someone was trapped in a burning building, but when he can’t/won’t share that information with the people in his life with whom he keeps breaking plans, I think it’s also reasonable to sympathize with them feeling like they’re just not important to him, so I like Web of Spider-Man #11′s spin on the situation. (Flash also comes down on Peter’s treatment of Liz Allan in high school, given her obvious crush on him, in the issue.)

To go back briefly to the idea of Peter and Flash having a mutual antagonism in high school, rather than a bully-victim dynamic, while Flash looked down on Peter for not being as athletic or popular with girls as him, Peter teased Flash about his intelligence:

(”Back before we became friends, Parker used to tease me for not being as bright as he is. I wonder if he knew how much that hurt?” – Spectacular Spider-Man #148.) So there’s an interesting twist in the dynamic there, because we the readers know that Flash teasing Peter about not being as athletic as him is funny because, after the spider-bite, Peter’s far stronger and faster than Flash is. Peter teasing Flash about not being as smart as him, on the other hand, isn’t funny at all, because Peter really is that much smarter than Flash. And I’m not trying to make Peter out to be the bully in the situation, but I do think Spider-Man comics and relationship dynamics are at their best when not everything is as simple as it seems and when there are different sides to the story, and that I do really like this dynamic of Peter and Flash of two kids who just drastically didn’t understand each other, and who both had pretty valid reasons not to like each other in high school, but who ended up clicking really well in later life as they both matured. It’s also notable that Peter, while orphaned as a young child, had Ben and May who were very loving parents, whereas Flash’s father was violently abusive. In the issue that reveals Flash’s home life situation, a much younger Flash stares down in envy at Peter and Uncle Ben:

(Spectacular Spider-Man #-1)

(Venom (2011) #5)

Having established all of that, it is pretty much hard canon now that Flash was more of a garden variety bully in high school, with the idea popularized in Spider-Man fandom by like, every Peter Parker movie, and as comics moved forward with new writers who saw different parts of their own experiences in Peter’s high school isolation, or who wanted to move things into a more modern perspective. And I don’t think that’s a bad thing for Flash as a character, necessarily – I don’t think it’s in the original Lee/Ditko run’s text, but neither is Flash having a father who beats him, and while “bully is actually a victim of abuse himself” is maybe an overused trope, it comes up a lot for a reason, and so much of Spider-Man does boil down to what abuse does to people, and how they then abuse other people – or how they choose not to do that. (A huge part of Flash’s Venom run is on breaking the cycle of abuse.) I know I’ve talked a couple times about Flash being put down to make Peter look better by comparison, I don’t really mean the slide of Flash from popular boy who just, well, didn’t really like Peter into Peter’s bully so much as some later canon (particularly around the late ‘90s and into the ‘00s) that, well, didn’t seem to really know what to do with Flash.

For example, for a while in canon, Flash had a job as an athletics coach teaching kids, and he seemed to really like it and he was really good with kids! Then we hit a point in canon and it’s like, oh never mind, he considers this a dead-end job for a loser. In the mid-250s of Spectacular Spider-Man, Flash tries to get back together with Betty Brant, with the caveat that something unnamed and jerkish happened to end their relationship and that it was his fault -- but that doesn’t make sense, in part because after Ned’s death and Betty’s breakdown it’s never clear whether Flash and Betty’s relatoinship ever even regained a romantic footing, and besides we see Flash and Betty hanging out in the same company after that when Flash was seeing Felicia with no apparent hard feelings between them. And some of it’s just your regular comic book style character regression -- at one point, Flash gets kidnapped by Norman Osborn, waterboarded with whisky, framed for a car accident that leaves him in a coma and with brain damage, and then when he comes out of it he’s regressed back to his high school-ish personality and can’t remember being friends with Peter (this didn’t last but it was sure a thing). So there’s some stuff like that. And I do think a lot of it comes out of comic book writers who maybe identify with Peter a little too closely as a former high school nerd and it offers them a chance to put the jock down which -- I don’t know, I think it’s just a shallower take on a relationship that developed very naturally. 

So long story short, I don’t think the bully angle is something that was really in the Lee/Ditko run, and that Flash and Peter have more of a mutual antagonism that initially stems from Flash being the popular kid and Peter being a loner who feels isolated, yes, but who also had a tendency at that age to isolate himself, and that the bully aspect later emerged as a way to make Peter more of a relatable figure initially -- less prickly, more picked on, and Flash got pushed into that role because of it. It’s canon now, and I don’t really have a problem with it -- Flash and Peter managed to work it out amongst themselves, after all -- but I do think it’s interesting how it’s changed over the years, and I do personally think the initial dynamic from the Lee/Ditko run is more interesting. Ultimately I think the evolution of Flash in high school from a popular and a bit airheaded jock who loves Spider-Man to being characterized as a bully first and foremost is a shame because Flash and Peter have a really great friendship in later canon, and that’s something I’d like to see more of in Spider-Man adaptations. Instead the bully role just gets trot out over and over again.

[tcplnyteens]

Meet Cute

If you like love stories - fantasy, sci-fi, realistic fiction - about any gender, race, or situation, you’ll enjoy this book. It’ll instill unrealistic romantic fantasies in your mind about falling in love at an airport, on a subway, in a library ;), or a print shop, which can be disappointing, but most of all it’ll warm your heart and open your mind. I highly recommend checking out this book and reading some (or one, or all) stories. They’re all wonderfully diverse and will lead you through a range of human emotions.

Spoilers ahead ~

Short stories are my absolute FAVORITE, and I get a little happy, fluttery feeling every time I pick up a book like this one. There’s nothing more affirming than reading short fiction and thinking, “I could write something like this!” and nothing more pleasing for a hopeless romantic than reading about people falling in love in fourteen different ways.

Siege Etiquette by Katie Cotugno - Queen bee Hailey finds herself stuck in the bathroom with Wolf, a loner who spends half the year homeschooled at his family farm, when a high school house party is discovered by the police. I can’t remember the last time I read something in second person, which makes it pretty interesting. I don’t find the main character especially likable, though she is mysterious. Overall, I didn’t think the first story was all too romantic or compelling, though the situation certainly invites the reader to imagine.

Print Shop by Nina LaCour - Evie’s job at the print shop is not quite everything she’d hoped it would be, but it does lead her to a cute, nerdy girl despite a Twitter argument over customer service. I love everything about this story, from the characterization to the setting. The casual representation of Alex and Terry being husbands without anyone objecting or judging is beautiful. “Print Shop” makes me want to work in a small, old-fashioned print shop with a cranky owner and his doting husband. We must all bow down to Nina LaCour for giving us so much amazing content. 

Hourglass by Ibi Zoboi - Cherish deals with end-of-high-school stress when her best friend ditches her to go with a boy to the prom and she faces modern problems in a digital world. Cherish is such a great character, and I love the issues this story confronts. It’s great for diversity in terms of body size and race. I also appreciate that the romantic element isn’t the basis or main theme of the story but hints at a very very cute and healthy relationship by the end.

Click by Katherine McGee - Alexa’s first experience with the world’s top dating technology is going terribly, considering that she lost her phone and with it her project to create a virtual reality avatar of her sister. Raden notices she’s different from other girls he’s dated, and maybe that isn’t such a bad thing. I liked the science fiction element of this story, and even though it was sad, it was heartwarming by the end. 

The Intern by Sara Shepard - Clara’s first task at her father’s record label is an unusual one - she must take musician Phineas on an outing through New York to see a psychic. First of all, Phineas reminds me of Hozier in the loveliest way possible, so whenever he talks I picture Hozier and read the words in his voice. The two characters’ interactions are so pure and distinctly human that I just melt. This one made my heart HURT and squeeze with excitement. 

Somewhere That’s Green by Meredith Russo - Nia Robinson already has to deal with adults and students alike telling her she doesn’t have the right to use the girls’ bathroom at school, and on top of all that, one of such protestors is playing Audrey in the very same production of Little Shop. But maybe Lexie isn’t exactly like her parents, and maybe Nia is a lot different than Lexie had expected. This story is so cute!!! I’m so grateful for Lexie’s character arc and the way she was portrayed as a naive yet brave person instead of an antagonist. The romantic tension that builds up and the way it’s resolved... just. Aaah. 

The Way We Love Here by Dhonielle Clayton - Every person from the Isle of Meridien is born with red strings coiled around their ring finger to signify love. Once only one band is left, they will meet their soulmate. After saving an unfamiliar yet undeniably handsome boy from drowning, Vio ensnares with him, pushing them through glimpses of their future together. The imagery in this story is so beautiful. It’s all quite simple and peaceful, but it’s warm and happy and very well-written. 

Oomph by Emery Lord - Cassidy is stuck at the airport with a one-hour delay likely to increase, and Johanna escapes a drunk guy’s conversation by sitting next to her. I know I’ve said this about just about every story in this book, but it’s just so cute. I found myself identifying with Cass and falling in love with Johanna alongside her. It was so satisfying and didn’t tear out my heart like the usual “Oh wait, I didn’t get her number!” moment.

The Dictionary of You and Me by Jennifer L. Armentrout - Moss has been trying to convince a mysterious library patron to return a dictionary for months now, and it seems futile until the hot guy from her history class shows up at the library. It shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone that I have an affinity for love stories that take place in libraries, considering that I work at a library. From the quirky characters to the new words I’ve learned, this story is so beautifully crafted and well executed. 

The Unlikely Likelihood of Falling in Love by Jocelyn Davies - What is the likelihood of falling in love with a boy you see out of the subway window, only to pass by and disappear? What are the odds you’ll find him again? Romance and math seem like the most mutually exclusive things in the world, but poets, songwriters, and authors have proven they are not. I love stories that throw you wholeheartedly in support of the main character, and this one had me rooting for Sam in all her math-genius glory. 

259 Million Miles by Kass Morgan - Philip’s only chance of escaping his mortifying online presence is being chosen for a one-way mission to Mars, but he meets another contestant during the final round of challenges and it all goes awry. Kass Morgan’s characterization of Philip and his social anxiety was so accurate it hurt to read. The amazing things authors can do with characters and settings and dialogue in so few pages never ceases to astound me, especially in “259 Million Miles!” I had to stop the tears so I didn’t cry in the middle of the library. 

Something Real by Julie Murphy - June and Martha are contestants on a dating show with a chance to win a date with Dylan, a pop star. This is another awesome story with plus-size representation and a same-sex couple! I love how Julie Murphy wrote this story - it’s rich with imagery but also very readable and humorous. This is at least the third time I’ve read this story since every time I get my hands on the book I race to show it to my friends. Also, the emphasis on TV being a lot more fake and a lot less magical than it looks is great. 

Say Everything by Huntley Fitzpatrick - Emma Greene’s family hasn’t recovered from her family’s financial crisis and neither has her social life, but when a local rich athlete at the prep school a town over asks her on a date, she must confront the damage. This is another story written in second person, of which I’m not a fan. I did enjoy the descriptions and characterization in the story, though, and I found I could identify with the main character.

The Department of Dead Love by Nicola Yoon - After Thomas’ seemingly perfect relationship ends and he’s still not over it, he turns to the Department of Dead Love to determine its cause of death and perhaps start over, where he encounters empathetic Gabrielle Lee. I found it interesting to imagine a parallel universe or future in which we are able to autopsy and diagnose our failed relationships and how that would affect my choices and my life. I’d like to end this review with a quote from this last story that I thought was very striking: 

“For whatever reason, there are people you want to tell your weird, secret thoughts... you want them to love you because of those things, not in spite of them. ‘Some people make you want to be known.’”

Happy reading! ~Raia

[freedom-of-fanfic]

I'm kind of torn on the Mary Sue issue. On one hand, I don't care what anyone writes for their own amusement, but writing is still an art that does and should have standards for professionals. As someone who has degrees in writing and does it as a profession, it's a little insulting to be told that the work your poured tons of research and time into is on the same level as amateur self-insert fic. That's why I advocate for different standards for fandom vs pro work.

I feel you, anon. and I have a lot of respect for people like you who got degrees and write professionally, because words are held rather cheap with the internet being around and anyone who can get paid to write words impresses me to some degree. but:

 I’ve always felt like comparing fanfic and original fiction to be not exactly congruous? and 

I think Mary Sue suffers from maligning because she’s disproportionately evoked by the youngest/least experienced of writers.

this got … pretty long … so i’m dividing it up a little for ease.

the concept of ‘standards’

first of all, I also advocate for different standards between published/professional/marketed works and fan works, but I do so because of 1)potential spread and 2)they aren’t accomplishing the same thing.

In general, a fanwork will have limited appeal outside of the fans of the canon the work is based in; they cannot stand on their own without some additional effort. Further, fandom has its own language to some degree or another, and fanworks are frequently best understood in the context of other fanworks, like scientific papers citing other scientific papers in passing because the audience is expected to be other scientists in the field who have read it. In other words: the audience is probably fairly niche and in on the ‘lingo’. its potential damage circle is therefore relatively small. if somebody fucks up their research for a fic, it’s nbd, for instance.

On the other hand, an original work with a professional marketing team will certainly reach a much more diverse audience and probably a much larger one. It’s therefore responsible, imo, to be proportionately aware of the potential impact of the subject material and approach it accordingly (though true fiction will always have an unpredictable effect on any given individual, so there’s only so much the creator can do). I’d expect accuracy where research was done, if for no other reason than to avoid spreading false information to such a big potential audience.

and of course I’d hope that if somebody is being paid to write, their grammar/prose/proofreading will meet a certain standard of readability. (the same cannot be expected of free works done for fun that take a few minutes to post on the internet.)

having said that: standards for quality fiction writing will always be subjective. I’m always going to have questions about why The Sound and the Fury is an American classic (I couldn’t make sense of it no matter how hard I tried).  What gets published can be as simple as having good luck with the slush pile reader that day. I’ve seen fanfiction complimented with incredible research: there’s a Tokyo Babylon work-in-progress with an author who has traveled to fic-relevant locales to nail story and character details. I feel the line is blurring these days, especially because there are people who make a living off writing commissioned fanfiction now (too small-scale to be an IP concern, of course).

I think the fundamental difference between fanworks and original works is not quality of the work itself or effort expended.  It’s related to structure and aim. 

Fanworks, even AU fanworks, are like interior decoration. A 'good fanwork’, even an AU fanwork, works within a pre-built framework to elaborate on or add to or evoke what drew its audience to the framework in the first place. 

Original works build a whole new house, creating a new framework from bare construction materials to draw in and house the emotions of its readers. (and then maybe its readers decorate the house with their own fanfic.)

tl;dr: if an AU fanfic was so different from canon and the characters were so OOC that the author can shave the serial numbers off and repurpose it as an original story, it might be a great original work. But it wasn’t a very good fanfic, was it?

why is mary sue so offensive to us?

I don’t know if you’ve ever read the post Mary Sue, What Are You?, but what I keep coming back to is its iconic opening. the author describes an OC at length: orphaned as a child when her parents were killed in front of her, she decided she would dedicate her life to fighting for justice. She grew up to be rich, athletic, beautiful, sexy, angsty, a genius, undefeatable in a battle of wits and agility, and everyone who meets her is instantly lovestruck. In other words, a classic Mary Sue …

but also Batman with female pronouns.

I think one could argue that Batman is not always well-written, but the relevant point here is that Batman - and Mary Sue - might be 99.9% perfection in the shape of a human around whom the universe revolves, but if its their own canon and the universe doesn’t recognize their perfection the way the reader/writer does, it’s not really 'bad’. (And there’s something to be said about why giving this power fantasy male pronouns seems to render it so much more palatable than female pronouns, but for more on that I point you to the referenced essay.)

Your ask is worded to suggest that Mary Sue is synonymous with unprofessional writing. I … kind of agree? Mary Sue is frequently the main character of Baby’s First Fanfic, and let’s be real: Baby’s First Fanfic is often being written by somebody who might be as young (or younger than) 12-13 years old, with all the inexperience, grammar mistakes, and lack of training that suggests. and as far as characterization goes, I think that anyone who takes decent writing classes will be discouraged from writing a Mary Sue. But like Batman, Mary Sue can be a perfect princess and get away with it under certain circumstances.

I posit that Mary Sue characters (or Gary Stus) - whom I will call Flawless OCs from here - are not really a problem on their own. Further, Flawless OC is more agregious in fanfic than original works. Because what makes the Flawless OC so irritating isn’t their perfection, really: it’s what the character’s presence must do to the universe (which is, in the case of fanfic, the universe the reader came to experience in the first place) that’s the real problem.

To show what a good fighter Flawless OC is, they defeat the best canon fighter.

Flawless OC has a backstory more tragic and painful than the most tragic canon backstory, and they cope with the trauma of it better.

There’s no room for Flawless OC because canon wasn’t holding a spot open for a self-insert, so now there’s a 6th Lion or a 10th Fellowship member or a Second Child Who Survived Voldemort.

The entire universe bends to ensure Flawless OC has perfect luck; their enemies are helpless before them. Everything seems to go their way except in the chapter where the their love interest is supposed to rescue them from danger. (the rescue goes flawlessly, of course.)

Depending on the author wish that Flawless OC is meant to fulfill, Flawless OC will defeat any undefeatable enemy, solve the unsolveable problem, be the envy or lust object of any character, etc etc, often without regard for the original context of the enemy/problem or the canon personality of the character.

In short, Flawless OC usually have two major issues: 

they render canon irrelevant to glorify Flawless OC, and 

the universe constantly validates their choices to a degree that wrecks narrative suspense. 

what makes each of these things 'bad writing’ is different.

The first problem I mentioned - warping of mythos, plot, and characters to accomodate the Flawless OC - is a fanfic problem.  Canon-warping absolutely allowed, but what makes it fanfic - the canon source that acts as our shared experience and usually our main reason for being a potential audience to the fic - is almost always nigh-unrecognizable. That makes for bad fanfiction, but it doesn’t always make for bad fiction. Change all the parts of canon enough and you’ve arguably got an original work. It might even be a good original work if the author has writing skill.

The second problem - the validation of the universe - is what makes Flawless OC a dull read in any context. If Flawless OC wants something, you know they’ll get it. If Flawless OC hates someone, you know they’re going to catch hell. If Flawless OC needs to be vulnerable for their love interest, something just bad enough to make them vulnerable will befall them. The perfection of the OC is less of an issue than the lack of meaningful conflict. (A character can have no faults and still be interesting to follow if they must struggle against a universe that doesn’t care.)

to wit:

there’s a fantasy book by David and Leigh Eddings - The Redemption of Althalus - that I read long ago. it stuck with me to a peculiar degree because for a book with such a unique conceit, it was incredibly boring. This is published fiction: it had editors, a marketing team, and was written by professionals with lots of experience! But looking back, none of this saved the story from featuring Gary Stu in a universe that catered to his every need.

The main character, Althalus, is ostensibly a person in need of redemption for being such a bad person all his life and never punished for it, but he’s a loveable, quick-witted rogue almost from the start. To 'redeem’ himself, he’s tasked with saving the world from Enemies (we’re told they’re evil, but I don’t think we see them more than once or twice).  Protected by the Goddess of Luck - literally - for the entire novel, there’s never a single moment where Althalus’ victory over the Enemy is in question. He never does anything really awful that would explain his need to be redeemed (in fact, it turns out the Luck Goddess is the one who protected him from punishment all his life). The enemy is weak, forgettable, and constantly outwitted, and the protagonists, supposedly people of gray morality, never did anything worse than be snarky.

The unique conceit that kept me reading was the House at the End of the World. Being the home of the Goddess, it had doors that opened to anywhere on the planet. but for an idea with such double-edged possibilities, it turned out to be an impregnable fortress of Good. The House and its owner were the forces that bent the whole book’s universe to the inevitable triumph of the main character and his companions.

A counter-example might be Miraculous Ladybug. I’ve often wondered if Mary Sue could be written well and be likeable, and Marinette - the titular Ladybug - is probably close. She’s good at almost everything and always outwits her enemies; even when she seems confident to the point of arrogance, it’s justified by her endless successes. (Her only real flaw is being clumsy when she’s distracted, and it only happens when it’s conveniently cute. this is a walking Mary Sue cliche.) Her power is to be lucky, after all.  

However: even though everything ends up right for Marinette at the end of every episode, she’s not rewarded when she acts poorly towards others. She causes herself problems when she does. Her luck powers give her the ability to bend the universe a little, but the universe is otherwise unforgiving; she’s subjected to the same banalities as everyone else and learns to be a better person along the way.

OTOH if you put Ladybug in another canon with a makeover to recast her as Flawless OC, changing everything so she could occupy a central role like the one she has in her own series, she’d be insufferable: hence Ladybug is a solid example of how a Mary Sue can prosper provided she’s in a universe designed to both feature her and contain her powers for the sake of Good.

I apologize for how long a reply this is. Still: I hope it successfully illustrates for you that:

though original writing and fanfic writing use the same tool (words), and both can use them masterfully, what original writers like you do and what fic writers do are, in general, very different things.

And Mary Sue is what you make of her. In the right universe, she’s just a very lucky person. :)

[maslife]

When I signed up for the Silver Rush 50, which starts in Leadville, Colorado, I had one goal: Survive. Don’t believe me? Here’s how I entered it in TrainingPeaks: I usually have somewhat more ambitious goals, but when it came to Silver Rush 50, survival sounded about as ambitious as it comes. I ditched all thoughts of competition and kept my focus simple: don’t die and cross the finish line.

Silver Rush 50 treats the runners to about 7600 feet of climbing. But, it’s not the elevation gain, it’s the altitude, which includes 4 trips up to 12,000 feet altitude – with the low point of the race at 10,000 feet. For my sea level lungs, this was going to be a true test. It was more than precipitous rise from sea level that had me concerned.

Asthma Asthma?

On the run in Ironman Louisville 2014. It was about 100 degrees and humid. I wheezed through most of the run. It wasn’t the first time I wheezed while running, but it was the first time it happened for almost the entire thing. (Also: look closely @ the bike grease under my nose. It’s my patented Hilter Racing Stash.)

Four years ago, after wheezing my way through Ironman Louisville, I went to a pulmonologist because something didn’t seem right. You know, not being able to breathe for most of the marathon sort of got my attention.

After an hour of pulmonary function testing, where I had to do all sorts of weird breathing rituals into a tube, my doctor gave me the results: “You have asthma.”

I replied, “Asthma asthma, or exercise induced asthma?”

She clarified, “Based on these results, I cannot believe you are able to do what you do given how limited the air flow is in your lungs.”

So, asthma asthma. Alrighty then.

On the one hand, this diagnosis brought with it a bit of relief because it was a key explanation to years of symptoms, which I had conveniently rationalized as “normal.” Just in case you were wondering, it is NOT normal to feel like you are sucking air through a straw, or to feel like there is a 100 pound dog sitting on your chest. If you think those symptoms sound normal, it’s time to go see a pulmonologist. Just saying.

On the other hand, this diagnosis absolutely crushed me. I had JUST qualified for Kona at Ironman Louisville, and I was about 6 weeks out from “the” race that I had been working toward for 3 years. But, my sadness went beyond my Ironman goals. I saw so many of my other big dreams slipping away.

Of course, the diagnosis itself didn’t make the asthma happen, but prior to that, ignorance was bliss. Once I had the diagnosis, it became this “thing” that I had to manage each and every day if I wanted to optimize my oxygen flow. As an endurance athlete, oxygen is a pretty key part of my success.

I was in denial for quite a long time. I would take my daily inhaler (a corticosteroid) and the symptoms would decrease. I would convince myself it wasn’t the meds that made the symptoms decrease, that I didn’t really have asthma. I’d stop taking the inhaler, and shortly thereafter, the symptoms would return. Eventually, I accepted it. I would need to take meds for the rest of my life if I wanted to process air.

So, that sucks.

Over the years, I have come to learn that the worst of my asthmatic symptoms are triggered primarily by: 1) humidity (summer on the east coast is BRUTAL), 2) certain types of pollen (Springtime sucks too), and 3) altitude.  I first learned that altitude was a trigger when we did Rim to Rim to Rim, back in 2015. The last mile up to the South Rim, after traversing the Canyon all day, took me about 30 minutes. I had to keep stopping because I just couldn’t breathe. During my next trip to altitude, to do the Zion Traverse, I went through same thing.

Between those two trips, I had all but given up any chance that I could actually finish a race that was at altitude – let alone 10,000 feet plus! This was a major disappointment to me, as some of the most iconic races are up where the air is rarified.

Up Where the Air is Rarified

Last summer, we drove out to Colorado to spend a month before and after the Leadville 100, which John was racing. Having just raced Ironman Lake Placid at the end of July, I showed up in Colorado quite fit. For the first time, I found myself able to run at 6000 feet, and then once in Leadville, at 10,000 feet. I wasn’t fast – but I was running.

I began to dream. Maybe a race at altitude isn’t completely out of the question…

Once I get an idea in my head, I pretty much keep trying to figure out how to make it happen–even if it seems impossible. So, fast forward to this year: John and I signed up for the Silver Rush 50 miler, which begins in Leadville, Colorado – at 10,152 feet, and then climbs to 12,000 feet – four times. Basically, you go up and down from 10k to 12k, and then repeat that. The elevation profile looks like the pyramids of Egypt.

Because I’m an idiot eager, I registered for this race before I saw the elevation profile. I figured Leadville was at 10k. I ran there last year. I’ll be fine! But I didn’t know that 10,000 feet would be the lowest point of the entire day.

Go big or go home.

Once I internalized what I had signed up for, this race scared me. This was a sensation of fear I haven’t felt since I signed up for my first Ironman in Lake Placid. The fear drove me to do what I could to prepare myself. Extensive altitude training was not an option, and the reviews on all of the altitude preparation gizmos indicate very mixed results – mostly that they don’t work (e.g., masks), or aren’t worth the massive price tag (e.g., tents).

So, I relied on the advice of veterans: get yourself as fit as possible. Looking back on how I felt last summer, I knew that was advice that could work.

I did weighted vest sets. I did track workouts. I ran long. We traveled to mountains. We even went out to Colorado for a week in May. We climbed Hope Pass. I attempted a summit at Gray’s Peak, and I made it all the way to 13,000 feet before I felt like I had to turn around.

Hope Pass

Hope Pass – I made it!!!

Hope Pass

On the way to Gray’s Peak

Along the trail to Gray’s Peak

Views from the heavens

I did what I could. And, then race day came.

Survive

Silver Rush 50 is easily the most beautiful course I have run to date. I am positively in love with the look of the alpine landscape, and we had views for days from the various vantage points on this course. There were moments when the beauty of the horizon brought me to happy weepy tears – even as the altitude took my breath away. I love those moments: when the joy and gratitude feels like it comes from your bone marrow and fills your veins with the sensation of LIFE.

I want to stay wrapped in that moment.

Photo credit: Des Marek. https://www.instagram.com/desrunsbecause/

Photo credit: Des Marek. https://www.instagram.com/desrunsbecause/

The race begins straight up a hill, which made me laugh the day before when I saw it. This opening hill is not long, and it was easy enough to take it slowly. Although for those so inclined, whoever gets to the top first, gets a Leadville 100 entry. Nothing like going completely anaerobic at the beginning of a 50 miler!

John and I at the opening hill at Silver Rush the day before the race.

A view from the top of the hill the morning of the race.

After the opening salvo, the race meanders through the woods for several miles, on a very runnable surface (especially compared to the roots and rocks of the trails on the East Coast!). These opening miles don’t offer any big climbs. It is characterized by what trail runners refer to as “douche grade” – not flat, but not an actual hill. In triathlon, you may hear this type of climbing referred to as “false flats.”

For these opening miles, I got into a (slow) rhythm. I gained my confidence that I could breathe. Of course, at this point, I was still at “only” 10,000 or so feet. Around the 5 mile mark, the first long climb to 12,000 truly begins. There really aren’t any very steep sections on this course (other than the hill at the start – hahaha!), so the climbs are more like long, slow grinds.

I power hiked the climbs (always walk with purpose!), and was able to run the descents. At times, my breath would “catch” a bit when running downhill. When that happened, I just slowed down, grabbed some air, and then plugged along again.

I remember one moment, maybe on the second climb up to 12,000, coming to the top of a vista, and just being positively overwhelmed with the beauty of the landscape. I didn’t bring my phone with me, because I knew I’d be pushing cutoffs, and didn’t want to risk time taking pictures. But, I have many mind memories of how gorgeous that course was.

John and I are planning to move to Colorado in about a year – but the timeline almost got sped up when he was offered a job a month ago. But, he didn’t take it – the opportunity wasn’t quite right. As I took in the sights of the Colorado skyline, I thought to myself, I can’t believe John didn’t take that job! We could do this EVERY WEEKEND!

Ah, soon enough.

I came into the halfway point of the race in better-than-expected time, and was feeling like quite the big girl. (Remember the old adage about not counting your chickens…). Here I saw John’s parents, who had re-arranged their cross-country RV trip to meet up with us, and my friend Whiting. She was everywhere on that course race day. Every time I came into a crew area – she was there with her children, cheering. It was so wonderful to be so far from home and to have a cheering section!

These seemingly “little” things fill up a big space in a runner’s heart.

The course was adventurous at times. Somewhere around mile 30 (as I was on one of the high points of the course), I could hear thunder and I saw the dark clouds accumulating in the distance. I moved as swiftly as I could – which is to say not truly swift – and hoped I would not be killed by lightning.

All this time, I was worried about my lungs, but here it will be the lightning that will get me! 

I felt the temperature DROP (say that in your head like the Beastie Boys: feel the beat mmmmmDROP!). I felt the first few drops of wetness. And, then those drops started to hurt.

What in the fuuuu….? 

Hail. Mother-loving hail. Ah, yes. Mountain weather is all of the weather all day long.

While I had a jacket and a hat, my gloves had somehow disappeared. My hands began to turn into white icicles, dangling from my wrists.

Out on the course. Downhill = running. 

I made it to the aid station, where a generous volunteer lent me her gloves. I seriously don’t know what I would have done without them, as I couldn’t even undo my hydration pack because my hands were white and frozen.

Eventually, I got down low enough that the hail stopped, and so did the rain. But, then, it got warm. When descending from altitude, there is a line (as you approach or enter the treeline) at which point the temperature increases. You can literally take just a few steps, and all of a sudden the temperature is a lot warmer (or cooler as you are ascending).

Now, as I passed this point, I felt myself cooking. I had on a jacket, a hat and gloves, so I had to disrobe. But, I waited too long. I felt the effects of letting myself get too warm.

I was also starting to feel the effect of altitude. Each time I made the slow hike up to 12,000 feet, the mountains took a bigger bite out of my lungs. I started to feel that familiar tightness, as the volume of air flow dropped.

I sucked on my rescue inhaler. The mountains laughed at my attempts.

Before the last climb up to 12,000 feet, I was cheered along by Whiting’s husband, Doug. Again: how amazing to have people recognize you, call you out, and give you words of encouragement–especially at moments when you aren’t expecting it. I was starting to feel like mountain goat-doo-doo at this point, but his words to me lifted me up: “Maria Simone! Looking good! The last 3 mile climb – and you are downhill to home! You are managing this course so well.”

I thought: I am? Yes, yes. I AM! 

By the last bit of that climb up to 12,000 feet, I was reduced to a very slow walk, but I was moving forward. I would keep on moving forward.

Not today, mountains! You won’t take me today! I thought defiantly.

When I got to the end of that final 3 mile climb, I felt a sense of relief. It would be all down hill from here! Despite the lung limiter, my legs felt the best they’d ever felt in a 50 miler – and I didn’t have any of the stabbing in my quads, like you can get from long descents. I felt prepared. 

I ran. I smiled. I felt grateful. I breathed. It was easier at this point to breathe because: 1) we were heading down several hundred feet, and 2) the effort was less because now I had the help of gravity. I was feeling good – and on target to finish just under 13 hours – like 12:5X – but hey, under 13 hours. I was going to beat the cutoffs – AND I was going to survive. Bonus!

And, then…

That’s the thing about ultras: you feel good, you feel bad, you feel amazeballs, you feel like you want to crawl under something. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

I started to get vertigo. I went with my first rule of racing: most things can be solved by slowing down, eating and drinking.

One of the sweetest finish lines!

I made it to the last aid station, which signaled 7 miles to go. The vertigo wasn’t constant, but it threatened if I pushed the effort too much. I also felt hot, even though it was not particularly warm (joys of pre-menopause).

Then, I started to have these blacking out episodes. I would lose tracks of time, and feel like I was waking up – even though I was moving. I started to worry that I would trip and fall during one of these episodes, so I wound up walking most of that final 7 miles. While I realized I wasn’t blacking out for more than a few seconds each time, it was enough for me to slow my roll before I rolled off the side of a ledge.

Ah, there goes the sub-13 hours. Phooey. But, I had to choose between breaking my skull open and survival. Since my A goal was survival, I went with the strategy that seemed most in line with the key reward.

Even with the walking, the vertigo remained, and the headache and the sleepies began. I was fighting to keep my eyes from closing.

By now, you are reading this and putting all the symptoms together: the altitude was catching up!

But, I had less than 7 miles to go. I did the math: I can still make the cutoff–even if I can’t run at all. I would trot from time to time, but after about 5 minutes or so of running, I would get really disoriented, and on the verge of blacking out. So, I walked for a bit. Then, I’d try my luck with trotting – and same result. So, put that sequence on repeat, and I eventually found my way to the finish line in 13 hours and 13 minutes – literally HOURS slower than my typical 50 miler.

But, I met my goal. I survived my first race at altitude. While my lungs are still trying to put themselves back together (two weeks later!), I am so grateful for the opportunity to cross that finish line. I cried from relief and joy – as John captured in this video.

https://www.runningalife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/IMG_8774.mp4

It’s hard for me to accept limits (even though I understand that some may exist). I never really wanted to accept that I could not finish a race at altitude. I didn’t want asthma to ever be an excuse for not trying something. Now that I have, I know that it requires all of my focus and discipline to make that finish line. But, then again, every goal worth having requires grit and perseverance. The feeling of finishing something that you weren’t sure you could is empowering.

Once I catch my breath, I’ll be seeking out the next high.

Survival of the Fittest: Silver Rush 50 Race Report When I signed up for the Silver Rush 50, which starts in Leadville, Colorado, I had one goal: Survive.