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pink-bird-30 · 2 years

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Titans 4x03

SPOILERS AHEAD

READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!!

(Might be pointless at this point since most people have already watched 4x03)

Sorry this is a little late, I've been busy with Grad school work and my job lately.

Let's dive in!

-I'm glad we picked up where we left off in episode 4x02. 4x02 left us on a big cliffhanger of Raven losing her powers. Her hair turning white and her gem breaking is a huge deal. The more episodes we get into the more I see the parallel between Titans and Teen Titans season 4.

-This is more of a personal comment, but we've been here for 4 seasons and they can't get a more realistic wig for Raven? Gar's wig has a nice part that looks natural, and so does Kori's wigs. But for some reason Raven's still lacks for me. Don't get me wrong, it's perfect for Raven, but it needs to look a little more natural.

-Jay is finally getting his training!!! I'm really excited to see how he develops into his own hero and become Red Robin. I know some people are bothered by him (idk why, he's great) but I want to see him come into himself and how he will contribute to the team. He had a great impact last season with helping Donna to come back and reunite Hank with his brother. I can feel he will do great things and we have much more to see.

-Dick's development these three episodes is such a 180 from the man we've seen the last 3 season. It still irks me that it has only been about 2 weeks since they left Gotham, and he's already made such big changes and his developing feelings for Kori. To me, it seems rushed on some part, but the other part of me has to realize this has been building for 3 seasons. But I can't ignore that Dick from a month ago went off to face Jason without back-up. That is why I was glad Dick told Kori she was coming with him to meet up with Jinx. He wanted her there to help him and I think that is a big change for Dick.

"We're a team, we take this on together."

I feel like a proud mom.

-I love that Krypto is pretty much a ESA(Emotional Support Animal) for Connor cuz that kids really does need some emotional support. Between Kom last season and Lex literally being murdered in front of him...kid needs a big fat hug.

-I love that last season we had Gizmo and now we have Jinx. Are we entering a HIVE era?!?!?!?

-Jinx has always been an interesting character for me. The most I know of her comes from Teen Titans, and I won't lie, she's a pretty cool anti-hero/villain. I aways liked her powers and the badass person she is. But what I did not like about her on Titans is they made her another one of Dick's flings. I just don't understand the purpose of this. Why can't she just be a woman from Dick's past that he tried to help but she turned on him? Why bring up that they used to hook up at some point and she betrayed him? I think the only relevant part of their past that should be brought up is Jinx is deceiving and will betray you. That is enough to get the point across without whipping out Dick's long list of lovers.

Moving on before I rant too hard...

-Dick's reaction to Kori turning into stone was too precious. Immediately this man was ready to fight for this woman. He was overly concerned and adamant that Jinx turn her back to normal. But when she didn't Dick was ready to do anything to get her back to normal.

-It's a big deal that Raven lost her demonic powers, a huge deal if the Cult wanted her powers for the crystal. But Raven is so happy not to be an empath anymore. Like this poor little girl is calm and free of demons for the first time in her life. And I hate that she will experience this freedom, a brief taste of it, and then eventually she'll have her demonic gem back and she'll have these dark powers again. I'm unsure if they will have her experience her mother's magic and discover it or just keep her powerless until the red moon.

(Also, Raven taking a swing of maple syrup was fantastic.)

-I've been saying it since 4x01 but with Gar's visions from the "skin walkers" and them warning him of the Red Moon and the troubles they will face in the near future, MAJOR. THE. END. VIBES. Like there is no doubt in my mind that Trigon will be resurrected as well as Slade as his servant, because if I recall correctly from the promo, Slade was in it. In Teen Titans, Slade did Trigon's bidding and went after Raven, but it seems like Mother Mayhem is also part of this servitude as well. Now it makes me wonder what Sebastian has to do with all of this. Mother Mayhem speaks of him like he is her lost child, but who is he?

-I really liked the moment between Gar and Rachel. I like knowing that they have each other's backs when weird shit starts to happen.

-Random, but I need to say it. Why the hell was that dude barreling around 40 gallons of blood?! Is that even sanitary? Is that FDA approved?! I also feel for the guy, he was about to propose and he gets killed by a blood spider, a fucking blood spider. I already have arachnophobia but that increased my fear by tenfold.

-I love Dick having a long list of things he hates: Ninjas, and now Magic.

Okay, the big scene of the episode (in my opinion): Kori's vision.

-It was nice to know Kori wasn't completely unresponsive while in the state she was in. But her having visions again is interesting. In 4x01, Dick is listing off Kori's destinies and that is a big foreshadow for what is to come. So far her destines were: Kill Rachel, Save Tamaran, Kill a bunch of people, & Save Gotham (as per Dick Grayson). But during her vision Zadira, her old trainer from Tamaran, tells her there is so much more to come. And that her destiny is still evolving.

But

Dick is a huge part of that destiny and I want to know right now. We already have an idea of what Kori's destiny with Dick will be since Dick saw part of that destiny in the form of an adorable little Mar'i Grayson, but I need it now. I am deprived!!

But I also want to point out hat Kori will have a big part in the Red Moon. Will she be the reason is comes to be? Will she be the one to resolve the issues associated with the Red Moon? What will be her purpose and how will it lead to her destiny with Dick???

Let's bring it back.

-When the bullshit with Jinx is over, Dick straight up is done with her antics. I'm glad he extended an invitation for her to help them since they are so out of their element with magic (even if it was a bribe to get out of some debt). But it was a smart move to make, but I have a feeling it will backfire at some point with Jinx history of betrayal.

Now for that scene: "To lift the magic you have to kiss her."

-When I say my jaw dropped, it dropped. Dick seems to pause for awhile and I'm glad he didn't just straight up do it because A) that would be their first kiss outside of their relationship from season 1. B)Hellllooooo consent is key people!!! C) Part of him definitely did not believe Jinx, which I'm glad for the hesitation.

(I also want to point out that Brenton played Prince Phillip in Maleficent and you know the story of sleeping beauty. I thought it was a cute nod to his previous character, especially since he had to give up the role in the second movie to stay playing Dick Grayson for us.)

Once Kori is woken up from the spell, I love the fire and rage she has towards Jinx.

"I will fuck you up."

I got so hyped up after that.

Last mentions:

-I will mention the scenes with Sebastian-I'm curious to see what Mother Mayhem has in store for him. They really keep fucking with him and now that he's with the Titans, I'm expecting a big fight scene next week. Or maybe even a rematch between Mother Mayhem and Super Boy. That would be pretty cool to see.

Lastly,

"When the blood moon is full, the world will fall to evil."

The chills I experienced after that line.

We are really in it this season and I'm beyond excited.

Until next time! Hope you like my break down of the episode!

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lucielerror · 3 years

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It's adventure time!

CW (s): SAGAU

Summary: You really want Bennett to come home >.<

A/N: Hihi! I've just been pulled into the SAGAU circle a few days ago and I am ADDICTED. So I wanted to try writing some self-indulgent fics on my own (some being based on my experiences with genshin) heh~

Bennett sighed wistfully at the blank night sky, the stars having been erased for maintenance, a sign that there would be a change in the "special" wishes that you always loved to... what was the word... ah yes, pull. He's heard from others about how they always feel this certain... well... pull, right before they're sent zooming through the skies as a shooting star. That must be where the term came from...

He lets out another heavy sigh. He wants to be one of those people too. He wants you to choose him to run around doing daily commissions and quests! He has seen the acolytes you've chosen running around helping you get those precious gems you always get so happy about and he badly wants to be one of them even if his luck won't let him! Against all odds, to every archons above, please, just let him streak across the sky, even if it means getting struck by lightning every hour every day!

There have been others (mainly the acolytes) telling him that they've heard you say how much you've been talking about wanting him. To him, it sounded absolutely crazy because you? Wanting him? Wanting the unluckiest adventurer? Haven't you heard his story? You surely know by now that nothing good ever happens with him around. He didn't want to believe it at first, but then the acolytes added on about how they had fought the pyro regisvine several times just to get the everflame seeds for him. For him! Now that's unbelievable. Even the acolytes didn't have that privilege. You were preparing for him! Hearing that became his motivation everyday, and today was the fated day. He really would get struck by a thousand lightnings if it meant he could become one of your acolytes. After all, he has to repay you with all that work you put getting his materials, even when you didn't know if you would actually really pull him.

Playing with the windwheel aster, he couldn't help but sigh again. He hoped that by coming to Windrise it would somehow raise his chances of being pulled. Before he knew it, the stars slowly faded back into the night sky again. This was it. Ten streaks across the sky, one purple streak amongst the blue ones.

No pulling sensation yet.

Another ten.

No pull again.

He crosses his fingers.

He takes a deep breath, neck strained and eyes trained on the sky, waiting to count another ten before-

A pull!

His body was encased with warmth and a golden glow before... he's soaring! Oh heavens, he's soaring without his glider! It's happening!

He's placed in a void filled with stars, his constellation faintly glowing above him. Then, he felt his body strike a pose.

Was that... was that a squeal? And was that the sound and flash of a Kamera? He blinked to get the spots out of his vision before his lips moved to an ear-splitting grin!

He/You did it!

He felt himself getting immediately stronger, his chipped sword being swapped out with a much stronger and newer sword! He definitely wasn't as strong as the other acolytes yet but his adventure is just starting! There's time to improve and you'll definitely help him get even stronger.

"Y-you want me on your team?"

Why did he ask that? What if you decided to change your mind? Argh, stupid, stupid!

Yet, he still felt the strong presence of the other acolytes beside him. He wasn't transported back to Windrise. The warmth that covered him from head to toe since he was pulled never left. More importantly, he could feel you much closer than he ever has. Not even when he met the traveller. This felt ... dare he say... a more personal connection?

This was the luckiest day of his life. He's so happy he could die!

Bonus (You POV)

You were absolutely ecstatic the moment you saw Bennett's silhouette pop up. Of course, you had to share the good news with your friends too! Just in time, you see a join request from your usual co-op friend.

Friend: Heya! Need help with anything?

You: Yes please! I'm about to do an Inazuma quest with Bennett for tests

Friend: Lead the way!

So you went running around, getting a feel on how to use Bennett with your team and so far it was going well! You opened up the chatbox again to inform your friend and because of that, you were too busy to notice the telltale signs of a lightning strike until it was too late.

"Couldn't break... the curse..."

You: DID I JUST GET STRUCK BY LIGHTNING ToT

Friend: Yeah...

#sagau #genshin #genshin impact #bennett #self aware genshin #self aware genshin au #genshin imagines #bennett imagines #genshin fics #bennett fics #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact fics

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gunsatthaphan · 3 years

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Hiii!! the year is almost over sooo can you do your top 5 best and wost bl's of the year pleaseeee??? thanks 💓💓💓💓💓💓

hiii there!!!

first of all sorry this comes so late but that's a nice request thank you! :)

to anyone who reads this - this is my personal opinion and it’s okay if you don’t agree. If you’re triggered by criticism though then don’t open this post.

top 5 favorite bls of 2021 (from best to least best but still top-tier):

1. Lovely Writer

Still my no. 1 gem. I love it so so so much. nubsibgene have made their way into my heart and have taken over my existence lol. I've been rambling about it for ages on here lol so I won't go into it again. but it's my no. 1 this year and one of my all-time favorites for sure. 11/10

2. Don't Say No

There were some bumps in the road here and there but I still loved it so much. leofiat and leonpob were both so wholesome and all the characters had a very nice development. An unexpected masterpiece after the mess that was TT2 lol. A+, 10/10

3. Bad Buddy

Actually this one ties with DSN. I love it. Gmmtv, ohmnanon and Aof really outdid themselves with this one. The acting is outstanding and ohmanon’s insane chemistry elevates this entire production. It’s definitely matching all my expectations. Amazing. 9/10

4. To My Star

I keep forgetting that this aired this year dsjkfhd it feels so far away 🥺but ohmygod. masterpiece. iconic. elite piece of art. amazing. life-changing. I don't have any other words. They changed me as a person fjkhgfd. Can’t wait for season 2!! 9/10

5. Light On Me

UGH. my love. my heart. my everything 🥺. This was so insanely precious I'm still tearing up just thinking about it djgkfd. It got a bit stretchy and messy towards the end lol but omg it was so worth it. Shinwoo has quickly become one of my all-time favorite characters, I could go on for days about how much I love him djkghfd. Him and TK are just...... pure sugar. god. I love them so much 😩 9/10

Honorable mentions:

These are the ones I wanna put on this list but didn't for the sole reason that they only recently started airing:

- Not Me

I mean c’mon.... it barely started and it’s already ending my life djghfkd. OffGun are absolutely SERVING and I'm so excited for the rest of the season. It looks extremely promising.

- Paint With Love

I said this before but,,,, this is a criminally underrated masterpiece. Please go watch it if you haven’t or if you’re hesitant or whatever cuz the rating that this is getting on MDL is not fair. It’s so well done. The cast is a colorful mix but they work so incredibly well together - all the characters could not be more on point (even the smallest extras who only have 1.5 lines lol) and the plot development is amazing. The story is moving at a very nice pace and the differences between Singto’s stuck up corporate character and Tae’s laid back artist character are absolutely immaculate. They click so well together and are both very well fleshed out characters in my opinion. The humor is on point too and have I mentioned the side couple? They’re adorable. I highly recommend.

top 5 worst bls of 2021 (from worst to least worst):

1. Y-Destiny

I'm sorry but..... holy hell. what a disaster this was. TueAke and PuthKaeng were alright but the rest was a crime. It all felt like the writers hit the random button for the plot and lines because absolutely nothing made sense. It was all a giant cringe-fest with bad acting and the weirdest finale I've ever seen. sorry to anyone who liked it but..... are you alright jkghfd. 0,5/10 I'm still having nightmares about them all singing in the pool together. rip.

2. Love With Benefits

This one was very clearly a fanservice show which means it doesn't make sense by default lmao. I started watching it for Best because I love him but not even he could salvage it for me. I was disappointed in Gameplay's performance which I had a lot of anticipation for. But he gave me nothing. The side characters were all bothersome and solely written for overdone comedy which was unnecessary. The only thing that’s nice about it is the soundtrack. 1/10

3. You Make Me Dance

This is just a personal preference but I didn't like this one at all. The story seemed weird to me and I couldn't get behind the pairing at all. sorry. 2/10

4. Nobleman Ryu's Wedding

this was???? so strange??? lmaoo. I would maybe give this a different rating if it was purposefully executed as a comedy but it was just strange and ridiculous. And not in a good way lol. Se Jin was very pretty but other than that it’s a thumbs down for me. 3/10

5. My Sweet Dear

I was very disappointed by this one too. I was excited for it and had anticipated it for a long time but it was a big letdown. The plot was not interesting and was moving way too fast. I know it’s a short series but one look at To My Star proves that there is a way to tell and develop a story properly in the span of only 8 episodes. Plus it was a waste of Eui Soo's acting talent in my opinion. 3/10

Thanks again for this request anon! To anyone who read this far, let me know what your top 5 are in the replies! (best and/or worst) :)

xxx

#bad buddy #dont say no #to my star #lovely writer #light on me #bl dramas #top 5 #thai bl #korean bl #rating #ranking

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sharkbait77 · 3 years

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The Sun Sets With You

Chapter Four: The Foundation of Growth

Summary: A simple yet despondent farm life suddenly sparks with new hope when an unusual traveler makes your town his latest stop and brings with him intriguing and promising viewpoints and no one to share them with. Until he meets you.

Pairing: Ezra Prospect x f!Reader

Rating: M

Warnings: Silas is officially his own warning! Death of a parent, depressive undertones, grief, food, pls lmk if I missed any!

W/C: 3.3k

A/N: This one is loaded with feelings guys, I didn't mean for it to be so heavy handed in the grief area, but I hope the conversation Ezra has with Reader offsets that. I definitely got into my own feelings about loss with this one, so I'm really sorry in advance if it's too much to handle. Read at your own risk, I've said it before, this story is not for everyone, always take care of yourself first & foremost lovelies. I've got some fluff coming up to make up for this one! I'm still building the plot you guys, I hope you're still with me!

Series Masterlist || Main Masterlist || Taglist Form

Chapter Three || Chapter Five

~MAY THIRD OF EIGHTEEN SIXTY-SEVEN~

Two weeks have since passed; Pa and Ezra had tediously worked the fields, sowed the seeds with care, and the fruition of all their work thus far has resulted in the small sprouts now growing from the Earth. ‘One of Mother Nature’s greatest gifts’, Ezra had said once while you gazed upon the rows of leaflets. Rebirth, growth, new beginnings. You find yourself envying the fresh buds, wishing to crawl into the dirt and begin again as well.

The shop is quiet today. Since you chased away the older women looking to learn more about Ezra Prospect, you haven’t heard a peep since. Quite surprising, though you count your blessings and hope the silence will hold, if only for a moment longer. The children play in the road with the stray town dog and you catch yourself giggling as you watch them. Such innocence in their youth. You only hope life treats them kinder than it had to you.

The shop bell dinging pulls you out of your thoughts and you stand straighter to greet the customer. Lucille Jones enters, without the overbearing presence of her mother – a shock in and of itself. She walks with her hands entwined in front of her, her head lowered some, and blonde ringlets of hair fall forward to frame her face, but she still carries a gentle smile on her face as she looks up at you.

As much as you pitied the outcome of your own life, you could not help but pity Lucille’s tenfold. Her father had fought and perished in the war, the only person to have shown her love and caring, and she was now left with her mother, who was ready to practically pawn her off to the next richest man to come through town.

Were it not for her mother’s meddling, you know the two of you would be great friends. She may be the only other person in this town who can empathize with your despondency; her dreams, likely, have been ripped from her as well. Though, it makes the curiosity spark within you as you wonder why exactly she has shown up in the shop so suddenly and without her mother.

“Hello, Lucille. It’s nice to see you,” you say politely. She nods in return. Timid girl. “May I interest you in anything? I’ve concocted a new healing agent to help with the pesky bug bites during the summer,” you offer gently.

“I-I’ve…” She squeaks. You cock your head slightly at her.

“Lucille, what has your nerves so rattled?”

“I’ve come as a favor to my mother. And Mrs. Foster and Mrs. McKenna.”

She faces you head on now, her soft voice filled with determination to complete her mission, yet her eyes, filled with regret, betray her. You raise your eyebrows in contempt and sigh deeply, and upon seeing your reaction, Lucille’s desire to help her mother gossip dissipates. She quickly steps forward, the heels of her white boots clacking against the wooden floors and the skirts of her pink dress flowing behind her.

“I’m so sorry, I did not wish to come and gossip. It is not my desire. My mother… She would not rest until I agreed to come here,” she laments, the quiver in her voice proving to you that she truly meant no harm. “I will pass on the news that you will speak to no one. Forgive me,” she says, her head hanging lower now than at the start of this conversation as she turns to walk away.

“Wait,” you call out. She stops in her tracks, but does not turn to face you again. You walk around the counter to her position. “Lucille… Why do you follow what your mother commands of you?” You ask softly.

“I…” She looks up in your eyes, tears forming in her own and you swear you feel a string in your heart snap at the sight. “I have no choice.”

“Yes, you do. You can choose to leave all this behind, leave this town and its capability to drain the life from you. You do have a choice for how you desire to live your life.”

You hold her by her shoulders as you speak and you realize you are sharing advice with her that could very well be said to your own face. You know it is not a possibility for you, but if you were able to help Lucille leave town and save her from feeling the same hopelessness as you, a part of you would be freed as well, knowing she will have been able to move on to better things.

She stares at you, the tears in her eyes now dried up and you see a small spark of hope in them, but before you can speak more to nurture that spark into a larger flame, the shop bell dings again. Based on the dark figure in your peripheral, the stomp of large, gaudy boots walking in, the heady scent of cheap cologne filling your nostrils, you know exactly who it is.

Lucille looks at the man first and you remove your hands from her shoulders, taking a step back and inhaling a deep breath, nearly choking on the fragrance now overpowering the shop.

“Hello, Mr. Taylor,” Lucille greets, bowing her head slightly.

“Hiya sweetheart,” he responds in a predatory voice and you snap your head in his direction.

“How can I help you, Silas?” You ask quickly before he can intimidate poor Lucille.

“I heard you’ve got some queer working on the farm now,” he chuckles.

“Do not call him that,” you bite and Silas immediately stops laughing.

“Darlin’,” he takes a step toward you and Lucille backs away against the shop wall. “Don’t tell me you have befriended him. You’re too good for the likes of a freak.”

“You don’t know him,” you reply, keeping your head held high with determination, but you instinctually flinch when Silas barks out a laugh.

“And you do?!” He says, grinning wickedly. “For your sake, honey, I truly hope not.”

“What is your meaning, Silas? He works on my farm, it is only natural that I will, and have, come to know him.”

“Perhaps,” he says, his voice dropping to a lower, more aggressive, octave. “Just be aware of the consequences if you come to know him as more than the simple farmhand he is.”

You wish to spit in his face, to continue defending Ezra, yet the instincts within you beg for you to stop. Though you’ve never been one to cower at Silas and his schemes, you’ve also never seen him as he is before you. Crazed, animalistic, frightening. You’re unsure of what he truly is capable of and you would hate for now to be the time to learn.

Despite the resolute expression you attempt to hold, your eyes must shine with the light fear he managed to instill in you with his threat because he flashes a satisfied smirk, a laugh escaping his flared nostrils as he backs away from you. He turns on his heels and faces Lucille again, huffing a goodbye to her and glancing over his shoulder at you before walking out.

“Are you all right?” Lucille asks softly. You only nod in return. “That man is…” She scoffs, understanding how loathsome he is.

“Not a man. A beast.”

~MAY FIFTH OF EIGHTEEN SIXTY-SEVEN~

As you exit the house, ready to meet Ezra at the place you now share together, you reach up to grab an apple from the tree for yourself and throw it in your bag along with your book. You take a step away then halt just as quickly. You consider Ezra, and smile to yourself as you reach up again to grab another apple from the branch, setting it gently inside your bag.

As you approach the oak, you see Ezra standing near the edge of the river, his hands clasped behind his back and head held high. He seems to be enjoying the scenery and you try to lighten your steps so as to not draw him from his serene moment, but the grass crunches under your boots as you walk, regardless of how careful you are, and Ezra turns his head in the direction of the noise, smiling brightly once he sees you.

“Dear Sunflower, I was afraid you would not show today,” he says as he turns his whole body to face you.

“My apologies,” you catch your lip in between your teeth, hiding the amused grin forming on your face, your heart skipping a beat at the knowledge that he had been waiting for your arrival. You dig in your bag in search of the apple you plucked specially for him. “A gift for keeping you waiting,” you say and hold the bright, red fruit out to him.

“Sunflower,” he gasps softly, as though you had just handed him a precious gem. “Thank you. A sweet and kind gesture from someone as equally generous; it will not be forgotten.”

You nod once while you bite the inside of your cheeks. What has gotten you so giddy? He merely gave his thanks for your offering, but the smile on his face, his eyes searching yours to clue him in on what has you so affected, makes a schoolgirl-ish giggle escaping your throat.

You reach for your own apple and drop your bag down in the grass, closer to the tree, and you step closer to the river, kneeling down and carefully dipping the apple into the cool stream to wash the skin. Ezra kneels down beside you and follows your lead.

“These are from the tree by the house. The last tree I was able to plant with my mother before she-”

You pause, immediately feeling your throat constrict and halting any further words from falling from your lips. You’ve not spoken so carefree of your mother to anyone, and the suddenness of your desire to do so catches you off guard. Though you have gotten to know Ezra as more than an acquaintance, the truth of the matter was he is still a stranger to you.

You sense the energy shift around you, and you bite your tongue in penance for turning such a peaceful time into an unpleasant one. Ezra stops washing his apple and leans up straight again while you keep your hands under the cold water, scared to look into his eyes and see judgement.

“Sunflower,” he calls and you startle slightly. After a moment of silence, he speaks again. “If you were to wash that fruit any longer, I’m afraid it may lose its red complexion and turn into a shade of white.”

You cannot help the awkward chuckle that falls from your mouth and you lean up straight as well, still avoiding his gaze as you dry the apple with your apron. Aside from the running water next to you, the air is silent, neither of you speaking a word.

You continue drying the apple, turning it over and over in the cloth around your waist, even though you’re sure there are no water droplets remaining. Suddenly, a loud chomp is heard and your eyes snap up to the offending noise to see Ezra bringing the apple away from his lips, and the two of you break out into gentle laughter.

“Sunflower,” he begins after swallowing the piece of fruit in his mouth. “This is truly the sweetest apple I’ve ever bitten into, and I wholeheartedly believe it is because you and your dear mother were the ones to nurture the tree that grew it.”

The smile that remained on your face from your laughter slowly falls as you remember the day your mother suggested you plant the tree from a seed she accidentally bit into. You can recall her giggles as she grabbed you by the hand and pulled you outside, instructing you to grab the small shovel that was laid by the house while she held the seed in her closed fist.

Pa had said it would not take, chuckling and shaking his head as your mother shooed him away, reprimanding him for cursing the seedling before it had a chance to grow. And, with much love and dedication that your mother insisted on carrying out together, the small tree grew, and soon after, sprouted the shiny, red globes.

“I… I apologize for the sudden change of atmosphere, Ezra,” you say quietly, glancing up at him sheepishly and, to your surprise, are met with a gentle smile of understanding across his face.

“Please do not apologize for reminiscing upon your loved one. It is a hobby I frequently partake in. The memories… They are what keep them alive. No longer with us in the physical sense, yet they live in the grass, in the rivers. In the trees.”

“Like the Green?” You ask shyly as you pick at the stem of your apple.

“Yes. They are born again, just in a different form, but always here to remind you of life. Much like the apple tree is a reminder of your mother.”

You wonder to yourself if Ezra has been a victim of loss as well. The way he speaks of it seems as though he talks from experience, but you do not dare ask. As uncomfortable as it can be for you to speak about your mother, you’d hate to bring that discomfort to him as well. Yet… He speaks so openly, so calmly, that you feel yourself longing to open up.

“Perhaps if I dream of the Green, I would see my mother again,” you say under your breath, feeling the tears that have so long desired to flow build in your eyes with an unbearable pressure.

“You do not need to wait until your dreams, dear Sunflower. You only need to look around at the life surrounding you to know she is here. Close your eyes and she will appear.”

You only have the strength to nod, the lump stuck in your throat as thick as Pa’s dreadful grits he so enjoys making during the winter. A small laugh bubbles over as you remember the way your mother put up the facade of enjoying his grits only to empty them in a bucket to be fed to the cows at a later time.

You look back up at Ezra and he smiles, his eyes shining with compassion, no hint of judgement or scrutiny to be found, and the lump in your throat vanishes, comfort radiating from his person onto you like a warm, wool blanket.

“Would…” You hesitate, but an overwhelming urge to share with Ezra commands you to continue. “Would you like to see her?”

“I would love to,” he nods gently.

You smile softly, leaving your apple to rest in your lap while you carefully pull at the chain around your neck until the small locket emerges from underneath your blouse. You scoot closer to Ezra and he mimics your movement, leaning closer to you as well and you recognize that this is the first time he has been in such close proximity to you.

You shove the tip of your fingernail between the crevice of the locket until it pops open, revealing the black and white photograph of your mother that you yourself have not taken the opportunity to look at in far too long. The length of the chain is still too short for Ezra to get a proper look, so he leans in closer, your heads mere inches apart.

You feel your pulse thumping against your chest, the vein in your neck throbbing as you feel the heat emanating from him. He smells of cedarwood and the hay bed he sleeps on, a light scent of sweat from working the fields, and something almost sweet, a unique aroma to be found only on his person and no one else.

“She is very beautiful, Sunflower. It is as plain as the nose on my face that you are her daughter,” he compliments, backing away from you slowly and you giggle softly as you place the locket back into your blouse. “What is her name?”

“Emma,” you smile genuinely, for once feeling not one ounce of sadness as you say her name aloud.

“Emma. She is now the sun, moon, and stars that shine down on you, Sunflower.”

You smile once again and nod as you place your hand on your chest, feeling the cool metal press against the warm skin covering your sternum. You close your eyes and let the sun’s rays warm your cheeks as you take a deep breath, heeding Ezra’s thoughtful words and imagining that your mother is, indeed, the sun kissing your face.

“Thank you for allowing me to share my thoughts, Ezra,” you say after a beat of prolonged silence. As you look over at him, you see his head lowering, too, as if he had mimicked your action and let the warmth of the sun fall on his face as well.

“You have no need to thank me, dear one. I am elated you deemed me worthy to share your thoughts with. If you ever desire to share again, please know I am here,” he says softly as he smiles.

“You are a very good friend, Ezra. I am happy to know you.”

“And I, you.”

You look down at your lap to your forgotten apple, raising it to your mouth to take a bite and Ezra resumes eating his as well. Once you’ve both bitten down to the core, you both toss them into the river and you stand up, allowing the blood to circulate through your legs again before heading over to the tree.

You bend over to collect your bag along the way and your book falls from the opening as you stand straight. Before you are able to bend down to grab it, Ezra is already there, lifting it in his hands while he reads the cover.

“‘Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland’?” He smiles quizzically.

“I understand it is for children, but I quite enjoy the adventure and wonder of it,” you say, smiling from embarrassment.

“I do not judge what a young lady chooses to read in her spare time, Sunflower,” he grins as he hands the book to you. “I have yet to read this one. Will you read it aloud for me?”

“Yes,” you nod. “If you’d like.”

You both sit down in the grass, leaning your backs against the trunk of the oak tree as you find the page you last left off. The scene of Alice’s trial has Ezra suddenly captivated as to what caused Alice to be put on trial, unfairly it seemed. You do your best to explain, which only produces more questions from Ezra.

You giggle at his frustration over the treatment of this poor girl and decide to start the book over for Ezra to follow along, a genuine happiness washing over you at the thought of reading this story to Ezra for the weeks to come. He leans in closer, as though the distance you had between you previously was too far for him to hear you and you stumble over your words slightly.

You still do not understand this feeling overcoming you; the only thing you do understand is that you do not feel the need to place a guard around yourself as you do with the others in town. You want to share with Ezra, you feel comfortable enough with him already, though he has only been here for two weeks.

Yet, you feel as though you know him better than most around you and you feel that he understands you better than even your Pa. It frightens you, yet you have no desire to run from it, but rather towards it. A new path you find yourself carving into your mind.

Chapter Three || Chapter Five

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nightshade-minho · 4 years

Text

-Embers- (2)

warnings: heavy-ish suggestiveness, future smut, themes of heartbreak and pain, mentioned parent death, jealousy, angry fathers.

wc: 5.7k

Heartbreak.

It's something you've thought about, in theory. You've wondered how it feels to be heartbroken, especially when you were younger, when almost everything was of interest to your curious brain. Could a heart break? What exactly did that mean?

Mr Yang's novels were your first introduction to characters who'd gone through that pain. His books had described it as a perpetual feeling of hurt, one which a person would never get over. You wondered if it was even possible to experience pain like that. Pain so bad you felt your heart shattering.

You still remembered that day you thought about it properly for the first time.

***

You shut your book and looked over at Minho, who had been cloudgazing as he waited for you to finish it. Days like this were common. Minho would get you a new book every week, and the two of you would go to the lake and laze around in the sun. You often worried that Minho would find it boring to sit next to you while you read, having nothing to do. On the contrary, he was quite content with the way things were. He liked how warm the grass felt against his skin, and how calming the sounds of rippling water were as he rested his head against Aeracus’s side.

"Wow. That definitely didn't end on a good note." You shook your head, letting out a sigh and laying back.

Minho glanced up at you, sitting up slightly. "You finished it? So soon?"

"Mhm. I got a little too invested in the story."

"Ah. If I'd known you would read it this fast, I would have borrowed more than one from him."

"It's okay, I can wait a few days.' You say, your tone reassuring as you placed Mr Yang's precious book next to you on the grass, carefully. The man put great care into binding and writing his books, all by hand with no one to assist him. You didn’t want to be the one to soil his hard work.

"Good, cause I'm not going back there so soon. There's three girls who have basically set up camp outside Mr Yang's to catch a glimpse of me."

You rolled your eyes, playfully shoving him. "You act like you're a celebrity or something. We get it, you have a lot of fangirls."

"And fanboys. Some of them are quite cute actually. Just last week a dude proposed to me."

"No way. He proposed?"

"Yeah." He let out a low chuckle. "I think I recognized him from the docks. Seen him once or twice, but I've never said a word to him. I felt bad though, he was actually pretty."

"You should have said yes." You pouted, holding back a giggle. "I've always wanted to be maid of honor at a wedding."

Minho shook his head, sitting up and scooting over. Grabbing your waist, he pulled you into him, so that the both of you were curled up against his sleeping dragon.

"Maid of honor?"

"Yeah! I mean, what's the point of having a best friend if you don't get to play that crucial role in their wedding?"

Minho sighed, looking over at you with a fond smile as he bit his cheek. "Oh Y/n, what am I going to do with you? Maid of honor." He chuckled again at the exaggerated pout you flashed him, poking his side. “What’s so funny?”

There was silence for a few minutes as he looked up at the sky, eyes running over a cloud that looked a little like a five-pointed star. Humming, he leaned in a little.

A short inhale before he whispered into your ear, lips brushing against the shell of it and making your hairs stand on end.

"I hate to break it to you Y/n, but you'll never be maid of honor at my wedding." He mumbled softly, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear.

"Cause you'll be the bride."

For a minute, a stunned look passed over your face as you comprehended his words. It took a whole 60 seconds for you to process, but soon you swatted at his hand, descending into a fit of hopeless giggles at his cheesy line. "Shut up!"

"Hey! I was being serious." he had an offended look on his face as he held your chin, making you face him again.

You looked at his expression and stopped, your cheeks flushing as you realized he meant it. Your heart was racing, your eyes blinking rapidly as your mushy mess of a brain tried to figure out what an appropriate, mature response would be.

Quickly you pushed him off you, stumbling to your feet and beginning to run. So much for being mature.

"Race you home!"

Minho watched you run, shaking his head and sighing to himself as he slowly picked himself up. If only you knew how sincere he was.

If only he knew your heart hadn't stopped pounding for the rest of the night.

Mr Yang's books had been the main contribution to your adolescent fantasies, to be honest. As the local librarian, he supplied you with a regular supply of books, but none were as satisfying as the ones he wrote himself. His writing was descriptive on another level, and pulled you in like no other author could. He was your greatest inspiration, which was why his description of heartbreak had been the one to stick with you the most, all the way to adulthood.

It was described as a lingering emotion in the back of your head, staying with you your whole life to remind you of what could have been. It was nauseating, painful and everlasting. He'd written about the emotion so intensively, that at the time you almost felt like you did truly know how it felt.

You were wrong.

Heartbreak, real heartbreak, was a lot less pain and a lot more emptiness. Yes, it did feel like all those things mentioned before- but there was more to it than that. Your heart, which had been brimming with excitement and happiness not too long ago, felt void. Dark, lifeless. It had been so sudden, so out of the blue that your emotions were a confused jumble.

Of course, there was pain too- agony, more like. Ripping through your entire being as you watched him kiss her cheek yet again. It was so all consuming, so terrifyingly excruciating.

You were across the dinner table by your father's side, the spoon in your hand held in a tight grip as you tried your best to avert your eyes from the sight. After all, you were currently sat at the table with three other chiefs and their families, as well as a few advisors and high ranking guards. You had to look refined and elegant, a person befitting the title of Ember’s heir- not a gawking, bitter girl staring at your once lover canoodling with his fiancée.

Finally managing to tear your eyes away, you let your eyes run over the guests that would be staying with you for the next few weeks. You reminded yourself that you were in no position to be a dejected, woeful and pathetic individual in front of all these important people. Appearances had to be kept up, or you would face dire consequences. Your father’s pride was hurt enough as it is, what with his daughter being the only one who couldn’t participate in the championships. You didn’t want to give him any more reasons to hate you.

Next to your father was the Aqua chief, his wife and their daughter- Minho’s fiancée. They were dressed in blue silks, dripping with sapphires and lapides lazuli. The royal blue draped around them was deep, the fabric clearly expensive and not too unlike the dress you were wearing currently.

The Aqua heiress was the spitting image of her mother, both their faces round and their features pretty. She was dressed similarly to her parents, with a tiny diadem upon her brown locks, her gown objectively fancier than yours. She continued talking to Minho, the plate of food in front of her untouched.

Minho.

You hated how beautiful he looked, dressed in white and grey. His uniform was simple, all clean lines and crisp edges. It suited him perfectly, like it was made for him. Which it probably was.

The two of them seemed to be in their own little world as Minho whispered something into her ear, making her giggle yet again. Your throat felt clogged. Blinking, you quickly looked away from them, your eyes landing on Minho’s father. He looked the same as he always did, except now slightly frailer. He was wearing the same uniform as his son, although he didn’t quite fill it out the same way. You chewed on your lip, glancing at him one last time before turning to the Terra family.

The Terra chief was a rotund, pot-bellied man who had his attention completely focused on his plate, not contributing much to the conversation the three other chiefs were having. You couldn’t blame him, really- the maids had cooked up a delightful feast. You were sure you’d have devoured your entire plate by now if circumstances had been different. The empty feeling in your stomach was making it hard to savour the roast beef, which you reluctantly ate.

He and his wife were both dressed in earthly, neutral tones combined with deep greens- and positively covered in every kind of jewel found under the Earth. The rubies on your dress looked like chili flakes in comparison to the twinkling emeralds and gems on the Terra family.

Their son, the Terra heir, looked just as miffed as you, to be honest. He wasn’t as bejewelled as his parents, wearing a shade of green that provided you comfort as you looked at him. It reminded you of the grass near the lake you and Minho once frequented.

He caught your gaze suddenly. Smiling, his heart-shaped lips curving upwards. He shot a glance towards Minho and his girl, and then back at you, raising an eyebrow.

You tried your best to smile back, or give him a knowing wink, or something. But all you could do was stare blankly, your emotions having been sucked out of you. You still failed to comprehend what had happened, your brain seemingly giving up on you and leaving you alone with nothing but your broken heart for company.

Soon enough, the smile melted away from the man's face, and he looked back down at his plate, a little dejected. You felt a flash of regret, fleeting however as you suddenly felt a sharp voice whispering in your ear.

You looked up in confusion at your father, who had previously been immersed in a conversation with Minho’s father and the Aqua chief. Now his face was right by your ear.

"Number one, stop staring. You’re lucky I’m the only one who noticed. Number two, stop by my office before you go to sleep tonight, okay? It’s important." He said, voice stern.

Gulping and nodding, you watched as he turned away, diving right back into the conversation he was having. What did he possibly want to talk about? You rarely talked to your father these days, unless arguments could be counted.

You spent the rest of the meal in contemplation, staring down at your plate. Your hand moved methodically, shoving food into your mouth without actually tasting anything; All you could taste was regret.

It hurt. It hurt so fucking bad. Despite not looking up, her giggle still pierced your ears from time to time, stabbing you deep in the heart. You'd seen it...the way Minho had been looking at her. He'd once reserved such looks for you and you only. Turns out, every meaningful word he'd said back then were lies. Every promise of forever had been empty.

A small part of you reminded yourself that it wasn't his fault he was kicked out from your village. He’d thought you didn’t oppose your father, and simply watched as he and his father was humiliated. Were you being irrational in expecting him to have stayed single until he came back to you? Hell, was it stupid to think he could even bear to glance at you after what your father had did?

Life was unpredictable, nothing was written in stone. How could he even have known he'd ever be in the same room as you again?

No. Y/n, don't do this. Don't force yourself to make up excuses for him. The man had barely cast a glance at you since he arrived. His eyes had been cold and stony the only time you'd made eye contact.

Besides, if he really knew you, he would have known you wouldn’t betray him like that. And if he really loved you, he would have waited. He wouldn’t have moved on so easily.

It was still fresh in your mind, despite having happened a few hours ago, now. The way you’d felt your hopes and dreams shattering to the ground in a million pieces, all in a span of a few seconds. Your heart, vibrating so fast it was almost going to implode.

As you continued drowning in your emotions, reliving the pain you'd felt, you suddenly felt a pair of eyes burning into you, sharply. Confused, you looked up, expecting the Terra heir to be the one looking back at you.

It wasn't him.

Minho quickly looked away before you could react, going back to talking to the heiress. It had only been for a second, but you’d caught him.

He’d been staring. At you. For a second, the tiniest flash of hope lit up your heart. But it was gone quickly, as the Aqua chief started laughing boisterously at a question the Terra chief's wife had asked.

"Yes, Jisu and Minho are deeply in love, Calandra. Honestly. Why would they be getting married otherwise?" He smiled, looking over at the two who had stopped talking to listen.

"This one-" He ruffled his daughter's head, chuckling. "She was so smitten. Kept sneaking out past the border to meet him. Of course when I found out, I was more than happy to let them join hands. I couldn’t imagine a son better than Minho to marry my little girl."

"That's sweet." You glanced up at your father as he said the words. He seemed to be gritting his teeth in slight vexation, the annoyance on his face clear. At least, to you it was.

"The wedding will take place a month after the championships." Minho's father said suddenly, smiling proudly as he grabbed a glass of wine. "You're all invited, of course. It will take place at my village. Now, raise a glass for the happy couple!"

A few claps sounded as everyone at the table raised their glasses. You carefully avoided Jisu's shy smile and Minho's confident smirk, his arm wrapped around her shoulder firmly. As if she would break into a million pieces if he let go.

You hated that you knew exactly how he behaved when he was in love. And now you weren’t on the receiving end of his adoration.

You weren’t used to this.

Yes, you’d lived your life as normally as you could without him for the past few years...but this was different. He was right there, and yet he wasn’t yours. So close, but you couldn’t touch him. Couldn’t feel him. Couldn’t kiss his lips and tell him how much he meant to you.

Your eyes darted about as they tried to find an appropriate thing to focus your gaze on. You raised your glass like everyone else, downed the amber liquid a little faster than the rest. You refused to let yourself look at the two.

Your eyes landed on the Terra heir after a few seconds. You weren't completely sure what his name was, but you have a vague recollection of your father telling you everyone’s names. Of course, at the time you’d been too overcome with excitement to digest the information.

Felix? Yes, that was it.

He seemed sweet. Friendly, even. His smile was a little sympathetic as he looked back at you, and that threw you off. You decided to put a smile on your face immediately, trying to conceal the pain that you’d hoped wasn’t evident.

Your mind flitted back and forth as everyone’s plates gradually cleared up. What were you going to do after this?

Originally, you'd been planning to go to Minho's room tonight. Fuck, you’d dreamed of how tonight would go for months now, ever since your father had told you the news. But how could you now?

Everything was fucking disintegrating.

***

You walked down the hallway to your father's office, your heels clicking against the stone slabs. Your dress was starting to feel itchy, and you couldn’t wait to take it off. You resentfully recalled how excited you’d felt when your maids had helped you into it. How all you could think about was Minho seeing you in it. You’d never expected him to barely acknowledge you.

Sighing, you passed through the hallway, stopping when you heard a high-pitched giggle come out of nowhere.

Furrowing your eyebrows, you glanced around you in confusion.

Another laugh, this one deeper, followed by what seemed like a...moan?

The pain came back full force, hurtling through you and overtaking you completely. As you walked, the sounds started to feel closer. You wished you could cover your ears to block them out, but at the same time you were consumed with curiosity. Was it what you think it was?

Suddenly, you heard another sound. Now, it was clear where they were coming from.

The sounds were from beyond the door that led to your father's old bedroom, the one he used to share with your mother before she died. You frowned, puzzled as you walked closer to the door.

Had he really given away that room to Minho and his fiancée? It hadn't been used in years, and had always been covered up and inaccessible. Even the maids weren’t allowed to clean in there. It was the biggest bedroom in the house, and the thought of it occupied by them was causing fresh tears to prick at your eyes.

You felt the lump in your throat make itself more prominent, blinking rapidly as your heart pounded. Suddenly, your legs started moving of their own accord.

Before you knew it, you were stood in front of the large door, your hand raised and knocking firmly on the gilded wood as you swallowed.

There was complete silence for a second or two, but then there were scrambling noises, along with the sound of rustling bedsheets. You tried to calm the beating of your heart, as you waited for the door to open.

When it finally did, you felt like your heart was almost about to burst out of your chest.

She was the one who opened it. She was clearly half naked, having pulled on a blue robe hastily. Running a hand through her hair, she greeted you, her voice a little shaky.

"Oh- um, hello…” She pressed her lips together, glancing behind her for a second. You followed her gaze, to Minho on the bed.

He was shirtless, his hair messed up and his eyes carefully trained on the wall beside him, away from you. You swallowed again, tears threatening to spill past your eyes as you quickly tried to turn your attention back to the woman in front of you.

Too late. She'd noticed. She frowned at you, subtly moving to the side a little to cover Minho from your view.

"I know we haven't formally met yet. I'm Choi Jisu, the Aqua heiress. I’m sure you know." She smiled, albeit a little forced. "And I did want to thank you for letting us stay-"

There was an impatient grunt from behind her, and she looked behind back briefly before turning to you once more.

"Um, I don’t know if you noticed, but I was kind of in the middle of something. Sorry." She tried her best to hide her smile, her voice heavily insincere. “Let’s talk later, Y/n. And maybe next time you won’t be interrupting anything.” She smiled, beginning to close the door.

"Later."

You just stood there dumbfounded, not knowing how to reply. Your face was passive but your brain was overrun with thoughts. The tears would spill any minute now.

She frowned at your reaction, tilting her head before gently shutting the door in your face.

You just stood there for a moment. You could hear Minho's voice, muffled as he said something to her.

A part of you wanted to press your ear to the door and listen, but you already looked pathetic enough to the guards standing in the hallway, one of them already having flashed you a sympathetic look. You were really having enough of all this fucking sympathy.

Sighing, you dragged your feet away, trying to push everything down, but to no avail. There were too many enotions, and they were too heavy to even let you think.

You thought back to her behaviour. You'd definitely picked up on her attitude, which had soured after she’d caught you looking at her fiancé. Jisu wasn’t a fan of you, that much was clear. And neither was the person who’d once declared himself your biggest fan. Ironic, really.

***

“Who was at the door?” Minho asked carefully, although he’d already seen you. Standing there, looking at him.

You’d looked smaller, vulnerable. So, so different. Almost alarmingly so.

He tried to best to keep his tone even, eyes trained on Jisu as she slunk back to the bed, having shut the door.

“The Ember heiress.” She said, a slight sting to her tone. “Why do you think she came?” She asked, raising an eyebrow as she sat on the edge of the bed.

“I...don’t know.” Minho muttered, staring at the bedsheets. His heart was clenching, hands starting to shake a little.

No. Not in front of Jisu.

“Weren’t you two ‘best friends’ once?” She asked carefully, having picked up on his icy behavior. Jisu knew, of course. Despite Minho and you trying to keep it a secret, at one point the entire village came to know the two of you were in love. The information had even spread across the village, to others.

Of course, the chiefs were the only ones who’d been clueless, only finding out after they’d been separated.

Minho scoffed, shaking his head. He gestured to her, hooking his fingers under his boxers to pull them down. “Forget that. Come back here, baby.”

Jisu raised an eyebrow, looking like she wanted to say more. However, Minho’s almost naked body was difficult to resist.

Shrugging, she slid her robe off, letting the silk fall to the floor as she straddled him. His hands ran up her hips, watching her, feeling her.

His brain, however, felt like it was a million miles away.

***

The tears ran down your face. You were no longer able to hold them back. Realizing you were probably about to break down in the middle of the hallway, you walked faster towards the office-

Until you bumped into someone on the way, almost knocking them over.

“Woah, woah, slow down.” Felix chuckled, holding onto your arms to keep you on your feet.

You looked up at him, blinking as you registered what you’d just done. “Fuck- I’m so sorry-”

“No, it’s okay.” He smiled, realizing his hands were still on you. He quickly took them away, tucking them into his pockets. His cheeks were dusted a light pink as he cleared his throat, looking at you in concern.

You quickly wiped away your tears, but Felix had unfortunately already noticed.

“Hey, are you okay? I noticed... I noticed you didn’t seem so happy at the dinner.” He said softly, looking down at you.

You remained silent, staring at the floor as you wondered how to reply. You didn’t want to seem any more pitiable than you already were.

“Uh, it’s okay if you don’t want to say anything. I’m sorry if I overstepped.” He shook his head, stepping back slightly. His voice was almost more nervous than yours. “Um, I’ll leave you be now. Sorry-”

You looked up, sighing. “Wait…”

Felix looked back, an expectant, almost hopeful look on his face. You didn’t want to let him down, you really didn’t...but it was difficult to pretend like you were okay. You were shivering, biting on your lip. You already felt humiliated enough.

“Sorry. I...I need to go, I’m sorry.” You mumbled, quickly walking away from a bewildered Felix. As soon as you turned the corner, you breathed a sigh of relief, leaning against the wall as your body shuddered.

You’d never cried like this, not even when Caeli had died. Not even when Minho had left, because back then you’d still possessed some kind of hope. Hope that just wasn’t there anymore.

Rubbing your cheeks, you managed to get rid of the tear stains. You hoped your eyes weren’t too red- you weren’t ready for any comments from your father today. Breathing in, you continued walking, still massaging your eyes in a desperate bid to get them dry.

You groaned as you noticed you’d reached your father’s office quicker than you thought you would. Inhaling deeply, you tried to pull yourself together. You really didn’t like showing weakness in front of him, but lately that was all you did.

You knocked on the door carefully, waiting for him to open the door.

“Door’s open, come in.”

You pushed open the heavy oak door, stepping in.

"Y/n. Finally. Where have you been?"

"Nowhere important." You said quickly, clearing your throat. "Um... you said you wanted to see me, dad?"

He cleared his throat. "Yes." He rearranged the files on his desk quickly, standing and coming over to lean on the front of his desk. He sighed, screwing his face up in thought as he wondered where to start.

"I can’t believe Lee really scored a marriage for his son. Do you know what this means? A heir marrying an heiress? They'll possess power we can’t even begin to imagine." He paced back and forth, clenching his fists in barely concealed anger. You rolled your eyes slightly. Of course your father thought it was a ploy to gain power. He’d never believed in love, and most probably never will.

“So?”

"So? So?!” He shook his head. “See, this is exactly why the villagers think you’re too incompetent.” He glared, making you cower. Your heart pounded quicker, your lips pressing together. No more tears, you had to control them.

“Look, Y/n...I’ll put it plain and simple. Ember has been the most powerful for centuries. We’ve always had the strongest dragons, and the sturdiest men. Our village is the largest in the country, and all eyes are on us.”

He pinched his forehead. “Do you know how embarrassing it is that Ember’s heiress, the one who should be the most powerful of all, is nothing but a lovesick, pathetic little girl who doesn’t even have a fucking dragon to compete with?!”

You blinked, sniffing as you stared at the floor. You could always count on your father to reinforce negative emotions. His eyes burning into you, chest heaving in anger.

He sighed, watching as your shoulders shook slightly. Softening a little, he inhaled. It always went that way. He’d blow up at you, and subsequently regret it. He couldn’t take back anything he said, though.

“Sorry, child.” You remained silent, looking up a little. His face seemed sincere enough.

“Hm. I have an idea..." He mumbled, placing a finger on his chin. You could almost see the cogs and gears turning in his brain.

"What did you think of Felix? Nice boy, isn't he?"

You frowned at your father's words, his expression seeming innocent...but his intentions clearly weren't.

"The Terra heir?" You asked, sighing. "He seems nice. Why are you asking?"

"No reason." He shrugged, fiddling with the Ember figurine on his desk.

You groaned, rubbing your forehead. "Dad...don't tell me you want to marry me off to him."

"What?? No!" Your father shook his head vehemently, still playing with the figurine and avoiding your eyes. "I was just thinking. Uh-"

He looked back at you and sighed. "Okay, I'm sorry. But...just consider it, okay? An arranged marriage...an alliance between Ember and Terra could be phenomenal."

You pursed your lips, flashes of Minho and Jisu running through your head as you thought it over. Fuck it, why not? It wasn’t like you had any reason to oppose him. "Fine, dad. I’ll think about it, but I’m not promising anything. Besides, I don’t even know if he’s interested in me."

"I saw the way he was looking at you from across the table, child. He definitely has some curiosity, at the very least.” He hummed. “Anyway, that's actually not why I called you here."

You raised an eyebrow, confused as he went back to his seat, sitting down and pulling up a large, dusty book.

"Look...I'm worried. There's something ominous about this. Their marriage...it poses too many conveniences and benefits for both the chiefs to be a mere coincidence.”

You frowned, confused. "What do you mean?"

He looked to be deep in thought. When he heard you speak, he snapped back to attention, shaking his head. "I’m not sure yet. Now, even if I managed to convince Farran to get his child married to you, it still doesn’t provide us power directly. Without a dragon, it’s likely they’ll make you reside in the Terra village once this is all over.” He hummed, looking like he was talking to himself rather than addressing you. “No...we need a reason to make you stay here. You’re an Ember heiress, the future chief of this legendary village. However, you definitely need to look the part. You need to prove to everyone that you’re powerful, Y/n. Shatter their expectations...and mine.” He smiled, gesturing for you to come closer.

“I was wondering...do you want to participate in the championships?"

Your eyes widened impossibly, your words stuttering as you moved forward. You couldn’t believe your ears, not one bit. It sounded too good to be true.

“Wait- really?”

“Yes.”

“But...but I don’t have a drag-”

“You can participate with Aeracus.”

No. No way. For the first time since the welcoming, you felt true happiness overtake you. Jumping, you squealed in delight, barely able to hide your glee. “Oh my god, thank you, dad! Thank you so so much.”

He chuckled as he watched you, flipping a page. “This has never been done before, so expect some backlash. I’m sure once they see the bond you have with Aeracus though, they’ll change their minds.”

You couldn’t believe it. Your father, the most skeptical dragon purist the world had ever seen, was acknowledging your bond.

“But...what about Minho?”

“Aeracus is no longer his dragon, Y/n. He has a new one.” Of course, you’d noticed. The huge black dragons he and his father had been riding. You felt a sensation of unease drift through you as you thought about the creatures, the likes of which you’d never seen before.

New lover, new dragon. He’d really left this place behind.

“Something’s off about those dragons.” He voiced the exact same concern you had. “They’re up to something. I just don’t know what.” He turned back to his book, taking his quill back up. “I’ll find out, though. Somehow. Now, go to sleep, kid. You have a big day tomorrow, now that you’re actually participating.”

You nodded, excitement coursing through your veins. “Sure, dad. Have a good night.” You bowed and turned around, your steps a lot lighter as you headed to your room, which was close by.

Reaching your room, you pushed open the door, smiling as you noticed Sylvia fast asleep at your dressing table. Moving slightly closer, you gently nudged her awake.

“Wha- I-” She shot up, mouth open as she bowed to you. “I’m so sorry, ma’am, I was just arranging and-I’ll help you out of your dress, now-”

“Sh, it’s okay. Tonight’s been tiring. You deserve the rest.” You said sadly, patting her shoulder as a yawn left your mouth. “Go to sleep, and don’t come by tomorrow. I’m perfectly capable of dressing myself. I want you to relax, okay? Head to the docks, or buy yourself some bread in the square.” You opened a tiny drawer and handed a few coins to her, enough to get some sweetbread from the bakery.

She nodded thankfully. “You’re the best, ma’am.” She giggled, accepting the coins from you.

“What have I told you about calling me ma’am? We’re the same age, Sylvia, it makes me uncomfortable. It’s Y/n to you.”

“Fine. Y/n.” She smiles, heading to the door. “Good night, Y/n.”

You grinned widely at that. You loved how easygoing she was, unlike Ann, your head maid. You weren’t royalty, and hated being treated as such. A friend was all you needed, to be honest. And Sylvia managed to fill the best friend sized hole Minho had left behind, somewhat.

She closed the door behind her, and you sighed, flopping down onto your soft bed and beginning to slip off your heels and the heavy dress, carefully placing it on a rack. The moon shone extra bright today, and you noticed the streets outside were still lit up with lanterns. Soon, they’d be turned off, and the streets would be quiet once more, except for a few drunken stragglers that didn’t want to stop celebrating.

And you would be left alone with your thoughts.

You slid yourself underneath your covers, sighing as you stared at the moon. In the distance, you could see a few dragons and their riders, flying through the air. They were quite far away, possibly near the outskirts.

Tomorrow, you’d be able to ride Aeracus like that, after so many years. Every time Minho had let you climb atop his dragon, it had just felt like it was meant to be. Deep down, you felt bad, though...for Caeli, for Minho. However, it was just the plain truth.

You smiled as you decided to buy Aeracus a bunch of treats tomorrow. Ostrich eggs, phoenix meat- you were planning to go all out. He deserved it, after all.

In a way, tonight had possibly been the worst night of your life, and simultaneously the best. Your heart felt pulled in two, as you closed your eyes and willed yourself to sleep.

You had a big day tomorrow.

#minho smut #minho angst #lee know smut #lee know angst #felix fluff #stray kids smut #skz smut #skz angst #skz series #stray kids series #minho imagines #minho scenarios #lee know imagines #lee know scenarios #lee know x reader #felix x reader #minho x reader #minho fluff

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the-blind-geisha · 4 years

Note

What are your own personal headhannons that you have about Demiurge?

A few that I have rumbling about in my head are below. I'll keep them as SFW as possible seeing as I am not sure if you want me to go nutty there, anon. X3;

He is very, very touch starved. Because Demiurge is on a floor that is nearly impossible for anybody to truly join him, it makes sense as to why he probably has bar nights with Cocytus and enjoys going to Ainz personally to deliver a message than relay it through the spell [message]. I think it even states only death knights can go to the Seventh Floor to deliver messages to him. He wants to be with the MC no matter what the cost. He will have the Evil Lords and Guren take over the Seventh Floor duties if it means he has a moment to be beside someone he wants the affection of. If he's touched by someone he loves deep down, he will no doubt be uncertain of how to control his emotions to an extent. (Maybe pull an Albedo in some cases, doing anything to feel that touch again).

Like the trope with a virgin summoning demons, I believe Demiurge is easily the same in terms of attraction. Virgin blood is the most pure to him, and he will do whatever he can to have the person for himself no matter the cost if he's already infatuated by them.

He cannot ignore mating scents. If even a non-virgin human woman is said to be his partner, then he'll comply. He'll be disgruntled about it, but in due time, he will find himself being overprotective of her and providing for her like any mate would.

Apparently Mass for the Dead kind of sealed this as canon in a way, but before it was, I always gave him the usual demonic tropes: Demiurge will make deals with people in exchange for their souls depending the case. If that person proves themselves truly worthy, he will rise them up as a demon that serves under him.

Demiurge can turn humans to demons if they are dead. I'd like to believe this is a way he can mass produce demons himself beyond a mere spell. But who knows. ;) A headcanon I like though.

Demiurge is a huge wine drinker. Even if I've only seen him animated with what appears to be beer, I want to hold onto that precious thought he's more into wine. (You can read in 2 of my fics he's always drinking wine haha).

He has highly sensitive ears. Nom on them. He will love you for it. ♥

If his mate or even his children have long tails, he will coil his tail about theirs if they're in need of comfort. (And have poison resistance). If they don't have tails, he will wrap it about their hips or leg depending.

Demiurge's tail, I imagine, is an imp tail; therefore, it is poisonous. In a lot of the shots of the anime (most) his tail is either arched or kept off the floor to prevent it from leaving poison in places I wager. (Or he could just be acting proper. ;) But I'd like to think either one is fine.)

He wants his children to rule the skies with him. He wants 8 children in that case for all points of the sky: north, east, south, west, northeast, southeast, southwest, northwest. I wouldn't doubt he'd go for more as he seems to be baby crazy.

Because he believes the Supreme Beings prefer boys dress as girls, he will always have his sons wear dresses when they’re children. (Maybe Ainz corrects him later, and he stops but the first two will wear them. lol)

Being a demon, Demiurge is carnivorous and will only eat meats. While he acknowledges demons will devour other demons if given the chance, he is not one of them.

Demiurge has a backstory crafted by Ulbert of being a former librarian in a small town. When he was executed for torturing people who got too close to a woman he admired, Ulbert raised him from hell to serve the goat demon. Demiurge has a bit of memory from this time in his life but chooses to ignore its existence as he hates to be reminded he was once 'weak'. His gem eyes are punishment for his life prior. He was raised without eyes to which Ulbert gave him the gems personally so the demon could see once more. They used to hurt at one point but he's grown to ignore the pain. Same for all of his body mutations that his spells encourage.

Because he was once human, being intimate with humans reminds him of his former life. Feeling their warmth and the like drives him into a fit of uncertainty of hate and lust depending the circumstances. However, it is the most human he will ever feel at times but quietly ignores his enjoyment of being around them even when torturing them.

I wager the wings ripping from his back cause temporary scars that vanish overtime with his demonic healing.

Even in his normal form, his tongue is extremely long and can even move past his chin if he so wished. (I blame the elongated face for this HC).

When his mate is in a state of heat (even if she's unaware) he'll be overly loving: cuddling, kissing, nuzzling, or hinting what he wants. He'll always keep her locked in his embrace while curling his tail about her as well.

#thanks for the ask lovely!#demiurge #overlord #overlord demiurge #demiurge headcanon #headcanon #overlord anime #anime overlord #demon #archdevil #mod answers #anon

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tt205 · 4 years

Text

- Love is a different book -

JIANG CHENG × READER

REQUESTED by softjisoo-exe :

Today you are not wearing your usual white colored dress .

WARNINGS: none, just pure fluff & some minor crack

•—————••—————••—————••—————•

You looked down to your purple dress as Yanli styled your hair in a tight bun , adding hairpins with rare gem stones on them .

Today you are dressed in purple , honoring the Yumeng Sect family & your soon - to - be husband.

You felt tears forming in your eyes as a knock on the door shooked you out of your thoughts and you know straight away who is it .

" Time will be up soon y/n you will have to rush !" Lan Xichen's excited voice entered the room .

" I'm finishing her hair Zewu Jun ! Tell my brother to wait 5 more minutes if needed!"

" Can I come in ?" Lan Wangji asked in a sad tone you expected , too afraid he will lose his twin sister for ever .

"A-ling go open the door sweetie !" Yanli told her 4 years old son as he went to do his mother task instantly.

"oh you are beautiful y/n !!! " said Wei Wuxian your brother in law both by him marrying your brother and be your husband's step one .

"Thank you Wei Ying !!" You said shyly.

You looked down your dress too afraid of what was going to happen .

For a moment you thought about giving up , the bamboo forest outside your window seeming too welcoming now .

Of course you loved Jiang Cheng, with you whole heart , but leaving your house was something you never dreamed of .

You loved you family and Clan members , you had friends here but at the same time your lover was a couple of miles away and the burden you felt was big .

He told you a thousand of times that you could visit your home daily but you know that you will miss them overly too much .

You felt Wangji hugging you from behind as his tears were wetting your collar.

" I'll miss you bunny!" He said as he sobbed harder .

You turned around hugging his head and shoulders with your shorter hands " I'll miss you too carrot !"

" Don't! Your makeup will be ruined!" Yanli told you before you could set a tear along with your brother .

From the other corner of the room you heard another sob and it was no other's but Lan Xichen's.

" Why don't I have a code name too? Am I not your brother ? Shame on you guys! Both of you are getting married and I'm here single and without a code name ! " he sobbed harder this time as all of you started to laugh at his cuteness.

" Don't worry uncle I'm here for you! " said Shizhui as he went hugging his uncle's leg .

"Thank you A-Yuan ! That's a precious person ! Nothing like you 2 punks ! " said the future Clan leader before hugging his niece and sitting up .

" We have a wedding to attend! Hurry up !" Wei wuxian said as he rushed his way through the long hallways of the Cloud recesses.

•—————••—————••—————••————•

You walked down the aisle with one of your brothers next to each one of your sides as they held onto your hands tightly.

You looked up on Xichen as he gave you a reassuring smile.

The lilac see-through satin fabric over your head made it a little harder to see around, but what it couldn't cover were the smiling faces of your clan and his own.

Looking at the end of the hallway you could see your uncle smiling proudly to you and then him .

The man you could sooner than soon claim as yours .

The man you were ready to build a family with,

And the boy you fell in love with years before he became a man .

He is Jiang Chen of Yumeng Sect , the little boy who became one of the greatest leaders .

But most importantly , your Jiang Cheng .

He reached his hand forwards to you once you arrived on the final step , welcoming you with one of his cutest smiles .

You took your place next to him as you bowed your head to your uncle.

The ceremony officially started and after everything important became complete, it was your turn to leave the place you called home for the past 18 years of your life .

He took your hand leading you inside the little ship that would lead you to Yumeng through the canals .

The water was decorated with floating white cherry blossoms the ones that Lan Clan threw in wishing you a safe and joyful life .

You looked back to your brothers and the rest of your family and Clan, waving at you as the boat took you a couple of meters away by each passing second .

"You look beautiful y/n " Jiang Cheng said moving an arm protectively behind your back , making sure there is no danger for you falling inside the water or get scared by the moving vehicle.

"Thank you Master Jiang " you bowed your head down making the fabric slip from its place .

You tried to move and catch it but it fell making you rush to put it back on .

" there is no need for you wearing it y/n I've already seen your pretty face over a thousand of times !" He spoke calmly.

" Sorry ma-" you tried to apologize

" why keeping formal with me my love so suddenly? I'm sure you knew my name years before .. it doesn't makes any difference calling me by it now ." He said a little irritated but still smiled at your cuteness and flushed cheeks .

" I sincerely apologize A-Cheng .. I'm just quite nervous right now .. " you confessed

" why darling is there anything you are afraid about ?" He asked clearly concerned by now .

" well .. to be honest there is a reason I'm acting like that .. I think your mother doesn't like me so much and I'm been awkward around you because of it ... I have no clue of how to act towards you around her . " you spoke each word with doubt, to anxious if your words would affect him negatively as he watched you the whole time closely .

" Y/n you don't have to be afraid of my mother , she indeed likes you pretty much and you were her most preferable choice between the brides that were meant for me .. act around her as you please . Both I and she love your true self so it's no need to hide yourself .. better now?"

" Partly.." you answered

" what's up now little minx ?" He asked full of curiosity.

" Where there other girls you could choose to marry ?" You asked pouting a little.

" definitely yes but to your reassurance .. even if I could marry 1.000 in my life i would just choose you over and over again. There is no other woman with such a spark in her eyes , so charming, so talented, so beautiful. There is no other like you , and I'm a pretty lucky person myself for having you here next to me .. as my wife " he spoke gently, his eyes honest and calm, full of love .

" I love you y/n " he spoke

" I know that " you said , teasing him

" YOU WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO ANSWER LIKE THAT " he whined like a little child

" ok ok my mistake .. I love you too Jiang Cheng ! Happy now?" You asked

" Lots more than happy!!" He said taking your hands in his and kissing your temple.

The sun was disappearing in the horizon as the boats made their way through the full of lotus flower waters .

A book of your life just closed but a new one is already opening before your very eyes .

You are not alone on it this time , you are with someone that will love you a lot more than the meaning of love itself.

Because in this book two things are needed, his paper and your letters, in order to make a story that will be traveling from generation to generation again and again until you reunite through the centuries to make a new , better one .

•—————••—————••—————••—————•

THE END

Ok this cringed the living shit out of me BUT alright I still hope you enjoyed reading this ..

Like & follow !

Stay happy and healthy ♡♡♡

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middleearthpixie · 3 years

Text

Someone to Watch Over Me ~ Chapter Nineteen

Summary: As dragon sickness engulfs Thorin, Seren tries to find some way to help him before it’s too late

Pairing: Thorin Oakenshield/Seren (female OC, formerly of Dale)

Characters: The Company, Bilbo Baggins

Rating: T

Warnings: None

Word Count: 2,750

@tschrist1

"Thorin, a word?"

Thorin bit back an oath as he turned to see Bilbo standing in the doorway of the gem room. It seemed every time he turned around, he tripped over the halfling. And for a burglar, he seemed no closer to finding the cursed Arkenstone, either. Not to mention, he had a habit of appearing any time Thorin found himself alone with Seren. That was enough to drive him mad.

He'd missed her. And now, as he stood before a pile of perfect, clear gemstones, trying to decide which ones he'd give to Balin to craft a piece for Seren, Bilbo interrupted him. "What is it, Master Baggins? Have you found the Arkenstone yet?"

"No, but Seren—"

"Take care what you say about her, Master Baggins. She will most likely be the next queen of Erebor."

"Are you so certain that would be wise?"

"I beg your pardon?"

Bilbo came into the room, his gaze going from one pile of glittering stones to the next. "I mean no offense, of course, but—"

"Then perhaps you ought but keep your concerns to yourself." Thorin leaned closer to the chest holding the glittering clear stones. "I think these, with the green stones, would be perfect for her." He looked up at Bilbo. "Her eyes are green, you know."

"I hadn't noticed."

"They are. As green as the lawns of Rivendell. Greener, even. The most beautiful shade of green I've ever seen."

"Yes, well—"

Thorin sighed as the halfling shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "Master Baggins, perhaps your interests would be best served anywhere other than my soon-to-be intended."

"So, you think she will accept your proposal this time? I overheard you telling Balin she's already turned you down once."

"What is your point?" Thorin didn't trouble to keep the irritation from his voice now.

"Are you so certain she is the one. I also heard you say she cannot have children."

"Taken to eavesdropping, have you?"

Bilbo blushed. "You weren't exactly quiet."

"It is none of your concern and she and I have discussed it, so it's moot as well. Now, you should probably get back to looking for that stone."

Bilbo looked as if he was about to say something, but then must have thought better of it, for he just nodded. "Of course."

Thorin waited for him to take his leave, then turned his attention back to the chests of gemstones and jewelry scattered about the room.

Seren's confession weighed on his mind. He wished she'd said something sooner, wished he'd known about it before. Not that it would have changed his mind, but because he could have reassured her it wouldn't change it.

In all honesty, up until meeting her, he'd given precious little thought to children. Perhaps someday of course, but he had yet to meet any woman with whom he wanted to have children. And he'd meant what he'd said in regards to his nephews. The line of Durin would not end with him, Fili and Kili would carry it forward. They could have the children he would not.

He didn't care. He wanted Seren. And if that meant he would have no children...

Well, he wasn't entirely happy about it, but it wasn't enough of a disappointment to keep him away from Seren. He loved her. He wanted her.

He just had to make her understand that.

The necklace was called the Seven Stars of Middle Earth— a stunning array of diamonds that had been set in platinum to look very much like a constellation of stars. He smiled as he lifted it from the chest. Thranduíl coveted this very necklace. He would choke on it, for Thorin planned to give it to Seren along with the diamond and emerald ring he wished Balin to craft for her. He had to prove to her that he just wanted to be with her.

"Thorin? What are you doing?"

"Balin, just the person I wanted to see." Thorin tossed the necklace aside and picked through the emeralds until he found the exact one he sought. "I need you to do something for me."

"What might that be?"

"A ring." He held out the diamonds and emerald resting in his palm. "A ring, for Seren."

"Thorin, are you—"

"Am I what, Balin? I've already told you how I feel about her. I've told her how I feel about her—"

"Yes, but—"

"She needs a ring fit for a queen." Thorin dumped the gemstones in Balin's hand. "And where is Dwalin? I wish a word with him."

"Thorin, now is not a good time to—"

"A good time for what? What do you have against Seren? Has she not proven herself?"

"No, that's not what I mean," Balin replied calmly. "I mean, well... Bilbo was supposed to tell you and I'm surprised he didn't, to be honest."

Thorin narrowed his eyes. "Tell me what?"

"We have visitors, Thorin. Mirkwood elves. The fishermen from Laketown. They expect you to honor your promise."

"My promise?"

"To share in these treasures," Balin gestured to the chests of sparkling gemstones, of precious metals, around them. "You gave your word to the people of Esgaroth that you would give them a fair share."

"Balin," Thorin closed the chest holding the diamonds, "these were mined by our people. They belong to no one but us."

Balin offered up a long, level look that Thorin knew all too well. "You gave your word."

"What choice did I have?" Thorin gestured about at everything. "Our people, our kin, died protecting these stones, these metals. Am I just to hand it all over?"

"You should honor your word."

"Thorin?"

He spun about at Bilbo's interruption. "What is it now, Master Baggins?"

He didn't look at all put out, but said, "Sorry to interrupt, but there is a problem."

"A problem? Have you found the Arkenstone?"

"No. This is something far more serious. You need to come up to the rampart. Now."

He sighed. "Why? What so urgently needs my attention?"

"It's... well... you should come see."

Thorin slammed the lid of the chest holding the emeralds shut and stormed past Bilbo, saying, "Where is Seren? Someone find her, please?"

Balin hurried after them. "She was in the great hall, when I saw her last."

"Good. Go find her," Thorin called over his shoulder, "and take her to my chambers. Tonight, I ask her to marry me again."

***

"Miss Seren? Might I have a word with you?"

Seren twisted about on her bench and smiled as Bilbo came into the great hall. "Of course. What is it?"

He looked troubled, his forehead creased and his brows pulled low. He looked about, as if afraid someone else might overhear him, but they were alone, so she said, "It's quite all right if you speak freely. No one else is about."

"I know. There is trouble just beyond the entrance and that is where everyone is." He came in and gestured to the bench. "May I?"

She nodded and repeated, "Of course."

He sank beside her. "I'm worried about Thorin."

"I know. There seems to be plenty of that going around."

"Well, he hasn't been himself—"

"Again, I know. He seems quite preoccupied with the Arkenstone."

"Yes, indeed." Bilbo's eyes darted about, as if he wanted to look at anything other than her. She waited, but his silence stretched for a few minutes, then finally, he said, "I am worried about him."

"I am, too," she confessed. "At times, he seems like himself, but at others? I don't know. I cannot put my finger on it." She sighed softly and reached out to cover his small hand with hers. "You care about him, don't you?"

Another long silence, and then the halfling nodded. "I do. Yes. Very much so, in fact."

"I thought as much." She pondered her next words, chose them very carefully as she said, "May I call you Bilbo, Master Baggins?"

He nodded. "Of course."

"Bilbo, I just... I've never been in this position before, so I am not exactly certain how to proceed. But... Thorin..." she hedged, not wanting to hurt the hobbit who obviously cared so deeply for Thorin, but at the same time, she knew what she had to say to him, "Thorin is... oh... this is so difficult, because you've been such a good friend to him. You've looked after him. Protected him."

"As you have, Miss Seren."

She smiled. "Not when it counted the most. You save him from the orc's blade. You save us all from the spiders. You came up with the way for us to escape Mirkwood."

"He loves you," Bilbo broke in softly. "And I know that couldn't have been easy for him to admit, because I don't think he loves easily. But, do you love him as well?"

"Mr. Baggins," she said softly, unable to keep the wistfulness from her voice as she nodded, "I love him with every fiber of my being."

"Then you need to help him."

"I'm trying."

"He—he—" Bilbo reached up and rubbed his eyes. "Thranduíl and Bard are here, along with several hundred angry fishermen and the entire Woodland Realm's army. You need to talk some sense into Thorin before it is too late."

"I'm trying, Master Baggins, but I've only been here a short while and haven't seen much of him."

Bilbo drew in a deep breath and in a hurried voice, said, "Come up to the rampart, Miss Seren. Before he engulfs us in a war."

"What?"

"They are here now and he is on his way up." Bilbo got to his feet and tugged on her hand. "And you are the only one who will be able to talk sense into him. Or so I hope."

She let him pull her up. "Take me to him."

He nodded. "Of course."

They walked along the ramps in comfortable silence, and when they were topside, her belly did the strangest flip. All of the Company stood there, atop that rampart and Thorin scowled when he saw her. "You should not be here, Seren. It might not be safe."

"I am as much a warrior as you are," she told him. "And you would do well to remember that."

"A warrior once, perhaps. The future queen of Erebor will see no battle."

She fought the urge to roll her eyes. "I am no queen yet."

She peered over the stone to see what looked like an endless line of elven warriors at ease behind Thranduíl, who sat silently astride his majestic white elk. "Thorin, what is going on?"

"That is exactly what I wish to know," he replied without looking at her. He leaned over the rampart. "What brings you to my doorstep, Bard of Laketown?"

Seren stepped up to the rampart, only just barely able to see over it. But it was enough. Bard the Bowman stood beside Thranduíl, and he didn't mince his words. "We've come to collect our share, as you promised us. And the elves wish to see something that is theirs returned. A necklace of white stones known as the Seven Stars of Middle Earth."

"As I promised." Thorin let out a cold laugh and shook his head. "I will speak to you below and you can plead your case, but know this, I am not moved to consider honoring a bargain I had no choice but to make."

Seren looked over at Balin, who gave a subtle shake of his head as Thorin swept past them to go below, where he would be able to speak with the Bowman without many ears overhearing him.

She crossed to Balin. "Do you think he will recant his word?"

"Before we arrived," Balin said softly, "I would have said unequivocally no. But since we set foot here, he has changed. Love of gold, you know. It is a sickness. It afflicted his grandfather, his father... that love of gold twists the mind, you know. And it has him now as well."

Her stomach pitched. "What?"

He nodded. "It consumed Thrór, Thraín. And now, Thorin."

"No," she shook her head, "he has not been consumed by anything. Not yet, he hasn't."

"Seren," Balin replied softly, covering her hand with his, "it will. And all we can do is sit and wait for it to happen."

"Perhaps once the Arkenstone is found, whatever that is. He searches for it, and when he finds it—"

"The Arkenstone is the King's Stone," Dwalin explained, his voice low as if he was afraid of being overheard, "and whoever possesses it will be the one to unite all the dwarf tribes."

"But, even if Bilbo finds it," Balin broke in softly, "he should not give it to Thorin, for it will only make the sickness worse."

"And if no one finds it?" she asked, looking from Balin to his brother and back. "What happens then?"

"It won't matter," Balin answered. "The sickness will consume him and there is nothing we can do."

Dwalin swore softly. "I think we know what his answer was."

The three of them peered over the rampart to see Bard stalking back toward the elven king. Balin sighed softly. "We are in trouble. We are but thirteen dwarves, a halfling, and a daughter of Man. Against all of them."

Seren glanced over at Bofur and smiled. "Actually, I'm half-dwarf," she said softly, nodding toward him. "I finally learned my sire's name."

Balin and Dwalin both gaped at Bofur as he joined them. "Is that true?" Balin asked.

Bofur nodded. "It is."

"You and Elmaya?" Balin stared at him.

Bofur grinned. "Our daughter is lovely, isn't she?"

Balin sank back against the stone. "I'll be damned."

Seren chuckled even as Thorin emerged along the rampart once more, looking furious. He glowed at them. "You need to get back to searching for that damned stone. I cannot believe it's not been found yet."

Balin, Dwalin, and Bofur bobbed their heads and took their leave, and Seren glanced down at the army of elves standing in perfect formation and absolute silence. "Thorin, what are you doing?"

"I refuse to honor such a one-sided bargain, made under duress." He offered her his arm. "And you needn't concern yourself with it, love. Come, let me show you to your chambers. Or, perhaps mine instead, since I'd rather sleep beside you than alone."

"You have no intention of keeping your word? But, you promised them, you told them if they helped you, you would share the riches of the mountain and they would have more than enough to rebuild Esgaroth. Those were your exact words."

"Bartered in exchange for clothing and food and weapons to reclaim what is my birthright." He stopped and faced her, shaking his head. "I do not know why I expect you to understand. You know nothing of my people, of what we lost."

"I know nothing of loss?" She stared up at him, a hand pressed to her chest. "How can you say that when you know very well I also lost everything when Smaug came. You lost a city. I lost my family. I have been alone since I was but fourteen summers, Thorin. I've had no one but myself upon which to rely and I've taken fairly good care of myself since then. You are not the only one who knows loss. Not by half."

For a moment, the coldness in his blue eyes wavered. "You're right, of course." Then, it slid back into place. "But, the fact that you will soon be queen makes up for that. And one of the things you need learn is when you defer to your king."

"If you expect me to defer, Thorin, you will be disappointed. I agree with Master Baggins, with Balin, with the others. You need honor your word to the Bowman."

"I will do what I think is the right thing to do." His hand came to rest at the small of her back and with a gentle push, he urged her back inside. "And you should trust me, love. I know what I am doing."

She bit back the retort rising to her lips and let him lead her below. Balin and the others thought he was lost, but she refused to believe that. For a moment, she saw the Thorin she knew. He was still there. She just had to figure out how to bring him back before it was too late.

#The Hobbit #Thorin Oakenshield #Hobbit Fic #Hobbit Fanfic #Fan fiction #The Hobbit fan fiction #Thorin x OC #AU #Thorin Fic #Everybody Lives AU

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theravencawsatmidnight · 4 years

Text

1868 London.

Horses and carriages clicked over the cobblestone road. A man was sitting at the front to direct to horses while you sat inside looking impatient. Your father had woken you up rather early to go pick something up for him. Foolish. This is what the servants are for not you. You had money and you loved to use it whenever it benefitted you.

You lived an easy life in a big house with servants and hot meals every night. Everything was handed to you on a silver spoon. The servants called you spoiled but you did not care in the slightest. You could make them disappear whenever you wanted and have a new servant by morning. Your father never tried to marry you off , you could stay home as long as you wanted. The dresses you wore were always beautiful, nothing too extravagant , more on the corset and flowy dress side , perfect for a little privileged girl like you. So why would your loving father send you on such a task instead of sending the help?

The carriage came to a stop and the door was opened for you along with a bow from a gentleman. He helped you out of the carriage and led you inside to a fancy house full of jewelry and swords all in glass cases shining in the sunlight. You stopped a few times to gaze at these fine relics , your fingers creeping up the glass in anticipation

. The man cooed you over to a certain glass case that was covered with a pretty red cloth. He lifted the cloth revealing the priceless gem you had been eyeing . The Lavender Cats Eye, a beauty. No merchant could put a price on such a fine rock. The slit in the middle was a dark purple and seemed to stare straight at you no matter which side you looked at it from. It was often referred to as the ‘Wandering Eye’ for a reason.

The man freed it from the case slowly. A pretty silver chain following it . You clapped, skipped over and pulled your hair to your front so he could put it on you. As soon as it was secure around your neck a purple cat ran into the room jumping on a glass case to stare at you. A disgusted look fell over your face and the man shooed the cat away apologizing immensely for the sudden interruption. You thought nothing of it since you were preoccupied with the gem around your neck glistening in the sun. You would have to thank your father for such a lavish gift upon your return.

•••••••••

The cat zipped all around the carriages in the road disrupting things , spooking the horses. It hopped onto a fruit stand kicking its legs till it got up on the top to jump again onto a nearby roof . It scaled all along the shingles from roof to roof , the cat jumped down to a stone wall to run along that led out of the area into the forest until the stone wall ran out . It slowed to a happy trot taking in the scenery .

It came to an old looking shack with one window in the front with a black cloth sitting in it blowing slightly. The cat nudged the door, scratching it till it opened. It trotted inside yowling watching the man lay back down on the beat up bed to look at a shiny bracelet in his hand. The cat jumped onto the bed making its way to the man's chest and sat down.

“Rr…”

“Yes Ruyo? What did you find for me?”

Ruyo looked all around at the beat up shack , it was all made of wood and stone and a faded grey color. Everything was poor looking except for the bags of gems and jewelry overflowing in the corner.

The man picked up Ruyo holding him in the air and Ruyo yowled again shaking his paws till the man put him down.

“Oh Ruyo, “

“Rrr!!!!”

The man blinked sitting up holding the cat up. “The cat's eye? “

“Rr……”

The man placed the bracelet around the cat's neck and set him down to pet his back in long strokes. “Perfect.. you'll have to show me tomorrow. “. He ran his free hand through his purple hair grimacing and laying back down , his hand moved about the bed finding a ring . He held it up in the shining light admiring its beauty. Ruyo purred deep at his masters strokes along his back , lifting his rear each time his fingers slid over it , his front paws kneading the old bed.

The Lavender Cats Eye.. he had been after that for a while now , him and Ruyo traveled far and wide for it coming up empty. They did gather quite the loot though, making them well off . Tomorrow he would have to see it for himself, the lovely Wandering Eye.

••

You had been woken up early in the morning by one of the girls who tended to you. With a groan you pulled yourself out of bed going straight to your lovely Eye to admire its beauty.

“Young Miss. Are you ever going to wear the item? It's lovely and should be seen by all.”

“Absolutely not. It's priceless, if something happened to my Eye i don't know what I would do.”

The young girl put your bed together, smoothing out the lovely red blanket .”I suppose that's true, Young Miss.” she joined you to admire the Eye for a minute before opening up the windows to let air in. “Young Miss. we have your morning duties today. Please go get ready for them”

She followed your grumpy person out of the bed room, the door clicking shut behind her.

The man inched out of the tree upside down holding his capture scarf that was tied to a branch . He had a clear view of your lavish home. He put his feet together admiring it. Ruyo wiggled out of his scarf climbing up his body to sit on the branch and yowl.

“So its in there? “

“Rr…”

He stretched out his right arm to scratch his scruffy chin thinking on how to go about this.”Ruyo ya know you dont need to hide in my scarf all the time.” He scratched the other side of his chin.

“Rrrrrrrr.”

“No i'm not blaming you for my face itching and no i'm not getting rid of it.” He climbed back up and jumped to the ground pulling his dark hood up. Ruyo jumped down crawling inside his hood to lay down with his tail around his neck , two lavender eyes peeking out under the man's hair.

“Hungry?” He strolled into town, swiping an apple off a stand and eating it, Ruyo growled making the man laugh . “Of course you are. “ he chuckled making his way to the local fish market. On his way there he spotted a WANTED sign and stopped to read it.

Hitoshi Shinso.

Thief.

Reward 800 Pounds.

“The least they could do is get my face right. Ruyo, do I look that old?” He asked, continuing his walk. The cat made a mocking sound and Shinso shook his head smiling.

••

The morning duties were anything but enjoyable, go see the animals, greet the people answering questions. Talk about the affairs of London with the other spoiled women of the town, sipping tea, eating biscuits, laughing while the help looked on in annoyance.

One of your friends was talking about the Cat Thief and you laughed waving your hand. “Pesky creatures, that's why i don't have one”

“No no, y/n he has a cat and they steal.” Warned your friend putting her tea down. She had a blue fancy hat on.

“I hear he's rough looking, scary even” chimed in the one on your left.

“No sir.” Said the blue hat one, touching her face. “What do you mean? “

“He's got scruff on his face!” Yelled the one to your left.

Everyone gasped at the little table and the two servants looked at each other.

“Unkept!! Lives in the dirt!!!” She added. “A mockery of a man!! And his cat is just as dirty! A low life tainting our way of living. A very tall man who looks tired all the time! His clothes are all black and his hands are large and coarse! I heard he takes women and they never come back. He does something to them, hypnotize i think, he knows dark magic”

The servants whispered to each other. “Sounds hot.”

“I'm right there with you “ agreed the other.”Better than living here with these clowns.”

“Want to go shopping ? I need to pick up supper.” Asked the servant to her friend.

“Okay, its better than this.” They left you alone with your gossipy friends. Your friends went on and on but you paid no mind. As if such a man would approach you or your gems.

••

“Emilia?,” asked the tall servant.

“Yes, Veronica?” Asked the short one

“Do you think the missing women are true?” She asked while walking the market . Passing Shinso who was feeding Ruyo some fish in his hood , he noticed the girls and smiled following them.

“I don't think so, magic is mumbo jumbo and not real silly.” Emilia said , stopping by a large ship to admire it. “I'd love to get on a ship and just… go.”

Veronica leaned on her friend holding her hand. “We will , I promise.”

“Why not go now..?” Shinso asked, appearing next to them, still feeding Ruyo. The girls jumped holding each other to see the Cat Theif right next to them, scratching his scruff with his free hand. His gaze traveled to them and Emila stood in front of her friend. “If your planning on taking us away, don't even-“ he held out a little bag to her, dropping it in her hands. Ruyo rubbed on Shinsos neck purring , happy with his meal.

“I've never taken anyone away, I think sending them away is the proper way to say it.”

The girls looked in the bag and fell into each other; money, jewels , rings.

“Get on outta here lost little kitties.” He pat each of their heads.

“Thank you!!!” Emilia cried out.

Veronica grabbed his sleeve looking like she was going to cry. “It's yours. Believe me we have plenty more.” Shinso smirked. “But.. i do have a couple questions about that spoiled woman you work for.. or well, worked for”. Emilia shoved the bag in her dress and held out her hand. “What do you want to know about little miss perfect?”

Shinso grabbed her hand along with Veronicas smiling. Ruyo also rubbed on Shinsos face purring, looking rather pleased.

••

Finally, the day was over and you were free to admire your precious gems in solitude. Veronica and Emila never showed up after tea time and you were forced to make food for yourself, the nerve. With a slam the door to your bed room closed , you stomped to your dresser but you stopped to admire yourself in the mirror. Such a lovely dress. So pink, perfect, the only one of its kind. You turned looking over your shoulder in the mirror smiling.

Ruyo was sitting above your window flicking his tail to give the signal. Shinso scaled the building like it was nothing. Using his scarf to hold and pull himself up he slipped into your room rubbing the back of his neck scanning all around till he saw it. “Pretty Kitty..”

Ruyo yowled and Shinso rolled his eyes going over to the case crouching down to stare at it. “Besides you, Ruyo”

His hand lightly caressed the lovely silver chain moving down to the actual gem . It shined in the setting sun glistening . He had just gotten a good grip on it when the door clicked. He shot up running into the closet leaving the Eye shutting the door pulling his hood up and making himself flat against the wall.

After you admire yourself in the mirror you danced to the dresser to admire the Eye. “Perfect, amazing. All mine.” You rubbed its front and skipped to the closet for a night gown . You opened the closet not even noticing Shinso on the side, his eyes watched you close and as soon as you turned away from him he slipped out past you crouched going to the dresser snatching the Eye. The window was the safe way out, he would be stupid to go through the house. He whistled and Ruyo looked in upside down to see you taking your dress off and Shinso. He motioned his hands and Ruyo stuck out his tongue .

“I feed you fish and this is what i get-“

You turned to see Shinso still crouched , the Eye in his hand. “Oh f.”

“GUARDS!!!!” You yelled covering yourself, falling over.

Shinso shot up running towards you stepping over you getting to the window placing a foot on it. “Well that was easier than i thought.” He looked back grinning and Ruyo jumped into his scarf purring .

You stumbled up to see him in the window , “no!! It's mine!!! “

Shinso tipped his hood to you jumping out the window.

••

Happy birthday Shinso you deserve that Hero spot i love you , you are my heart and soul💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

@squeaky-ducky @maron-k-rh @beelzebabey @celesterdzc18 @jassiejj2118 @alexisntherebb

#shinso x reader #hitoshi shinso #LavenderEye #shinsous birthday #birthday2020

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godlydolans · 5 years

Text

Not Enough {e.d.}

Summary: Ethan is going through a heartbreak and Y/N is there to comfort him, but while he cries in her arms, she wonders if she'll ever be enough for him and if he'll ever return the feelings she holds for him.

Warning: Angst.

Requested: Kinda. I took inspiration from some of the concepts people sent me when I'd asked for angst prompts. Thanks guys, for being patient with me!

Ethan sits on the floor in his room, eyes blindly gazing at his open palms as his head throbs, containing so many thoughts and questions inside that small space. He doesn't know how much time had gone by since she left. He doesn't seem to recall what he did when she walked out of that door without sparing him a single, pathetic glance. He isn't even sure what he's doing on the damned floor when his bed is just an inch away from him.

All he does know is that he feels like an invisible fist is tightening over his heart and squeezing the already broken pieces so they hurt more.

"It's not you, Ethan."

He scoffs, a bitter taste in his mouth when he thinks about the words she threw at him. Typical lines everyone repeats when they have to let someone down easy. But there was nothing easy about the way she let him down. In fact, she didn't show an ounce of mercy while rejecting him.

"Listen, I've always seen you as a friend, E." She'd said, her eyes shining with sincerity and unshed tears. "I love you as a friend."

She is not a bad person, she's a gem of a person and that's why it was so god damned easy to fall for her. She had him crazy in love to the point where he had started to talk like Grayson. The whole soulmate shit was something he never believed in, unlike his brother, but ever since she came into his life, he could feel that they were made from the same stardust.

How could there be someone else made for him if it wasn't her? It was simply not possible! She is the female version of him, everyone says that. She herself knows that. There are so many similarities between them. How can she not fall for him like he did for her?

He thought the soulmate shit worked both ways? At least that's what Grayson had said when he's asked about it. Then how did it work on him and not on her?

"I can't ever look at you like that because I like your brother."

Maybe if she would've just said she didn't feel the same and left it at that, he wouldn't have felt like she tipped his world upside down. But those last words she spoke really broke him. Why did she have to go and tell him she had feelings for Grayson? Ethan would have been fine without the information. There really was no need.

His phone rings beside him for the thousandth time and he clenches his jaw. He doesn't even have to look at the caller ID to know who's calling. Y/N has been blowing up his phone for what feels like an hour but he knows it's less than that. Of course he hasn't been sitting on the floor and wallowing in his own misery for an entire hour. That's ridiculous!

Just like he's been doing with all her precious attempts of reaching him, Ethan ignores this one too. He knows that Grayson must have called her when Ethan demanded he doesn't want to see his brother's face right now. He also knows she must be really worried since he's been rejecting all her calls, but he simply wants to be left alone. Is that too much for these people to understand?

He's too vulnerable to be seen by people right now and even though Y/N is literally the only person other than Grayson that he's comfortable crying in front of, he doesn't want her to see him like this. It's only going to hurt her too. Little does he know, she is right outside his front door, calling Gray to come open the door for her since she knows Ethan wouldn't pick up.

"Where's he?" You ask urgently the moment the door opens and a very tired looking Gray appears. He immediately moves to the side, ushering you into the house since its so hot outside.

"He's in his room." Grayson replies. His fingers comb through his hair as he lets out an exhausted sigh, "He doesn't wanna talk to me, Y/N."

Your heart breaks at the gloom that has settled on Grayson's otherwise radiant face. He looks troubled and his voice shows that too as it trembles towards the end of his sentence. You both are aware of how much Ethan likes this girl. You don't think you've seen him be this into someone before and you've known Ethan for years. You have seen him with plenty of girls in all these years and you can tell this time was different.

So if you could tell, Grayson definitely can too. It has been nineteen years and the brothers have never had a serious fight over a girl, something they are really proud of. But after how Ethan refused to even look at Grayson for the whole day makes the younger twin a little worried and a lot scared. He really wants to know what is going through Ethan's mind. Is he really blaming Grayson for what happened? Did Bella really do what no other girl was able to do thus far?

"Y/N, I swear I have never looked at her that way." Grayson sounds like he's pleading his case in court and you are the Judge. "I don't know why he doesn't wanna talk to me, I didn't do anything! I didn't even know that sh-"

"Gray, I know, I know you didn't do anything." You cut off his rambling with a gentle hand on his bicep. "He's just sad right now, he knows it's not your fault."

Grayson doesn't seem convinced by what you just said. His shoulders are still tense and his eyes look sunken in. He looks tired and you wish you could look after him too.

"Have you eaten anything?" You softly enquire and shake your head in disapproval when he says no. "Go eat something while I go see how your brother is doing."

"Yes, please see if he's okay?"

"Of course, Gray." With one last squeeze on his bicep, you step away from Grayson and make your way to Ethan's room. It's so quiet in the house, all the lights are off. You are always used to seeing the colourful lights the twins installed around the house, illuminating the place when night falls and it's only this quiet here when both the boys are not at home. Tonight, it feels like even the house is silently weeping after the recent events it witnessed.

Standing in front of Ethan's door, you pause to take in a much needed breath. Your hand trembles as it goes to grip the door knob and you almost don't have the will to enter. Granted, you've done this before. You have been around to tend to Ethan's broken heart many times in the past, but each experience has sadly not lessened the pain your heart goes through when he sits in front of you and talks about other girls. You have gotten familiar with the ache of your own heart, but the pain still knocks the breath out of you whenever life slaps you in the face with signs that Ethan will never return your feelings.

You know whatever will happen on the other side of this door will leave you wounded and broken beyond what you have come here to fix, but worry for Ethan is far more prominent than worry for your own self. So you don't think twice before twisting the door knob and pushing the door open.

Usually when you open this door, you can find Ethan right away. The guy is pretty noticeable, what with his height and stature. You can usually find him sitting on the rolly chair in front of his desk, computer either displaying an intense game of Fortnite or the editing software they use for their videos. If not the desk, he will definitely be found laying on his bed, either on his phone or just sleeping like the angel he is. Today, however, you don't even see him when you peek your head inside. It's only when you roam your eyes carefully around the room, do you see Ethan's body curled up sitting against the foot of the bed. He is sitting with his head in his hands, that's why he hasn't noticed your presence in the room yet. You also notice his phone laying on the floor beside him and a pinch of hurt settles in your heart when you think about him deliberately disconnecting all your calls.

Your hand forms into a fist and you knock twice on the wooden door, causing Ethan to finally lift his head up and lock eyes with you. The second your eyes meet, you force the tiniest smile on your lips, hoping that you'll get one in return. What you do get in return is a groan with a clenched jaw and a muffled, "What are you doing here?" After he goes back to hiding his face behind his hands.

Your heart sinks.

"I mean, I know you wish someone else was here in my place, but I at least deserve a hello," you speak in a joking tone but the words really hurt when they slip from your tongue. When Ethan doesn't respond, you sigh and let yourself in because you know he wouldn't invite you in right now. "Well then, seems like I don't."

Ethan groans again and slowly lifts his head back up. It looks like he's put in a lot of effort in just turning his head and looking at you because his eyes look so tired and drained. Ethan's hair is a mess, it looks like he pulled at the roots because some pieces are standing up in different directions. The fact that he still looks dashing, doesn't surprise you though.

"Y/N, I don't want you here right now." Ethan deadpans, fixing his intense stare on you and you have the sudden urge to look away. His words are like a slap to your face and you know this was just one of the many slaps that would be coming your way tonight, if you decide to stay.

And stay you will.

"I know." You breath, daring to take small steps in the sad boy's direction, "I know that."

"Then why are you still standing in my room?" Ethan's cutting gaze forces you to halt your steps, his sharp tone ripping a new wound in your heart. For a second, you simply stand back and look at him with widened eyes. Judging from the shock that's displayed through his expression, he didn't mean to say what he said either. Or maybe he did, but he wasn't expecting it to come out as harsh as it did.

Pressing your lips together, you force yourself to take a step back. It looks like he really does not want anyone near him right now.

"I'll just be outside if you wanna talk." This time, you don't bother with a smile. Casting your gaze on the floor, you turn to walk out.

"Wait-" Ethan rushes to his feet the second he realises how harsh he was to you and a hand subconsciously reaches out to stop you from leaving. You do stop at the sound of his voice, but don't turn to look at him. He clenches his jaw in anger directed toward himself.

Ethan hates it when his actions cause you pain. He hates it more than anything else in the world and still, no matter how much he tries to avoid it, he manages to hurt you one way or another.

"Y/N, wait-fuck, I didn't mean that." Taking four steps forward, Ethan's fingers wrap around your wrist and he's ready to turn you to face him when you don't show any signs of doing it yourself. When he does turn you, he sees your eyes are closed, long eyelashes brushing against blushed cheekbones. Ethan's heart sinks when he imagines you opening them and those eyes being red-rimmed with the tears that he caused. "Y/N, I'm sorry, so sorry."

"Its okay, E." You let his misbehaviour go with a wave of your hand, finally opening your eyes when you are sure you have the tears in control. Your eyes hand on your wrist which is still in Ethan's hold. Your cheeks go warm at the feeling of his skin on yours. "I know you're upset, it's okay."

Peering up at him from under your lashes, you find him looking back at you and you immediately look away. You learnt really early on that avoiding eye contact with Ethan is the best way to avoid some of the pain. You almost never look him in the eyes and hold his gaze for more than a second. Ethan is used to you steering your eyes away when hes looking at you and even though it irks him, he doesn't say anything.

He doesn't say anything but he does tug at the wrist he was still holding, causing you to stumble into his chest so he can wrap his arms around you. You weren't expecting him to hug you so suddenly, but you don't waste a second in wounding your own arms around his neck and allowing him to engulf you in his warmth. Ethan's hugs always leave your whole body buzzing with some strange energy and the butterflies in your stomach go haywire. You don't get to have him this close to you often because Ethan is not the hugging kind of guy, although you have seen him being really cuddly with his girlfriends in the past, so maybe he is the hugging type of guy but you are not his type of girl.

Whatever it is, you don't get to be this close to him often, but the limited times you have been in his arms are enough to tell that this, right here is your favourite place in the world and if you could, you would live here forever.

"I don't deserve you." He whispers, his head pressed against your neck.

"You deserve the world, E." Your fingers dance over the nape of his neck, "If anything, it is she who doesn't deserve you."

"Don't." Ethan's body stiffens against you at her mention and he gently pulls away from the hug. You let him go half heartedly, watching him run a hand through his hair. He's the one who is avoiding eye contact now. "Its not her fault that she likes Grayson. You can't force someone to like you."

You chuckle mirthlessly, shaking your head at the irony of it all. Here he stands, the guy you fell for against your own will, the guy who doesn't love you back and probably never will and he is the one telling you about the merciless ways the heart loves. God knows if you could force it, you would force yourself to fall out of love with Ethan. You won't ever be able to force him to do anything he doesn't want to.

"So, you still want me to go away?"

Ethan scoffs and turns to walk back to his bed, "C'mere." He motions you over and you comply with a smile on your face.

And half an hour later, you find yourself laying down in Ethan Dolan's bed with him clutching onto your waist for dear life. His face is buried in your neck and you can feel hot tears fall on your skin over and over. Yes, he's crying.

Ethan Dolan is crying over this girl and you really wish she was in front of you so you could tear her a brand new one for hurting your man like this. Granted she is a good human and she didn't do anything wrong, but Ethan is crying.

And he's not your man.

"I don't understand what the fuck is wrong with me?!" He sniffles, momentarily pushing his face out of its hiding spot, which was the crook of your neck and seeing his beautiful hazel eyes red rimmed is really killing you. You wish you could take away the pain but sadly, there's nothing you can really do except for listening to him vent out his anger and frustration. "Like, why does everyone always choose Grayson over me? Why am I never good enough, Y/N?"

The words he speaks and the way he speaks them, looking so shattered like he actually believes he's any short of perfect, just makes you want to cradle him in your arms and tell him about all the different ways he makes your heart skip and speed from his mere presence. You would open up and tell him how just his name can make heat rush to your cheeks and how his deep voice can awaken goosebumps on your skin. He touches you and your skin tingles, he laughs and your face splits into a grin, he is happy and you feel like all the problems in the world are solved. You worship the ground Ethan walks on, you look at him like he hung the moon and stars in the sky. And if telling him all these things and a lot more could help with the pain he's feeling right now, you would tell him right now. But you know it won't help him. He doesn't want your love.

He wants someone else.

"Can I ask you something? Promise you'll be honest?"

You nod.

"Why does no one ever love me?" Ethan sighs, his head falling against his pillow now instead of your neck.

"People love you, E! What are you talking about? Your mom loves you, your sister loves you, your twin loves you and your dad and your fans-"

Ethan cuts you off with a click of his tongue, "But they are family-and what do you think, I don't know that mom and dad liked Grayson more than me? Cameron says that she prefers Grayson over me and so do the fans-"

"I love you, Ethan." There, you say it. You look him right in the eye while saying it too, so that he has no doubt in his head that you absolutely mean it. Your confession is followed by silence. Ethan looks at you as you look right back and try to look calm even when your heart is going crazy inside your chest. Yeah, you've said the words here and there in passing, but this time you don't mean it in a platonic way. "And I will always choose you over anyone." Even myself, sometimes.

Another tear escapes Ethan's eyes, causing him to finally tear his gaze away and wipe the lone tear away with his thumb. He is quiet again, leading you to wonder if you shouldn't have said what you just did. Your heart sounds like it's beating in your throat, making it that much harder to think rationally and not go into a panic attack.

But before you can begin to beat yourself over this in your head, Ethan speaks up. "That's different, Y/N."

And maybe it's something about the way he avoids looking into your eyes when he says it or it's the way he says it, almost sounding like he meant to say, "That's not enough, Y/N" instead of going for the slightly softer words that he decided to go with at the last minute. Either of the things are the reason your heart just went splat on the expensive floor of Ethan's bedroom and shattered into so many tiny pieces that it will be difficult for you to gather them again when it's time for you to go back home.

Probably the biggest slap you've ever received from the man you love with every fiber of your being.

Because even though he didn't say the exact words, you know he just told you loud and clear that the love you're offering to give him is not enough because your love is not what he wants. Your love can not hold a candle to the love he could have gotten from Bella.

Because Bella is charming and adventurous. She is kind and humble, sweet and innocent, yet holds the talent of being sassy enough to hand Ethan's ass to him when required. She is grace and she is beauty, immense beauty. The kind of beauty that makes a person stop in their track and turn to look. The kind of beauty that one sees on the canvas of an ancient painter, the kind of beauty that poets write ballads upon ballads about. She is the stars to Ethan's moon.

And you? You're just Y/N. Simple, plain Y/N who likes simple, plain things. You are the kind of person Ethan describes as boring then how did you expect him to love you back? Yes, you've been friends for a major part of your lives, but that's all he's ever seen you as.

A friend is all you are ever going to be.

It is at this exact moment that you see your entire future rolling before your eyes like a movie. You see Ethan dating countless girls while you stay to the side, until he finally comes across his forever girl. Oh, he'll be so excited while telling you about her and you'll suppress your urge to break down in front of his, being a good friend, you'll listen to his every word and encourage him to get the girl.

Ethan will get the girl of his dreams, they will be the it couple. Both so heart breakingly beautiful and equally amazing people. Ethan will be happy with her and he'll make sure to keep her happy. After few years of dating, they will get married. You, of course, will be invited. Your tears will fall when you'd find the wedding invitation in your mail box one day because you're still not over Ethan Dolan, as pathetic as that sounds. And you will contemplate burning the damn thing because there's no way you'll go. But at the last minute, you do decide to go, just to see Ethan for one last time. To see how he really looks in the attire of a Groom because you used to day dream about having him be your groom.

You'll make sure you look extra beautiful that day because this is Ethan's wedding and Ethan deserves everything to be and look the best on his big day. You'll eventually see him standing at the alter, looking like the prince of those fairytails your grandma used to tell you. He would look so handsome and so happy that you'd feel your heart tightening in your chest, both from the pain and the happiness. Atleast he'll be happy.

And then will come the bride in all her glory, looking like a million bucks in her beautiful white gown, carrying the most beautiful bouquet of flowers in her pretty hands. You will watch Ethan's face light up at the sight of her and maybe he would tear up a little bit, earning a chuckle and a clap on the back from his brother and best man. He would mouth the words, "You're beautiful" as she'll come and stand in front of him and she will blush, smiling under her veil.

You will sit back and watch the whole ceremony go by, just hoping to catch his gaze just once but he will be too busy gazing at his beautiful bride. They say the vows, exchange rings and he is finally allowed to lift the veil and kiss his wife. As everyone else in the room would cheer and clap, you'd force yourself to look away. He officially will belong to someone else. No one maybes anymore. You'll be too torn apart to attend the reception and Ethan would only get to know of your attendance at his wedding from Lisa and the gift you left behind for the new Mr. And Mrs. Dolan.

Maybe that would be the last time you'd see him or maybe you'd still be too foolish to stay away. Maybe you'll still be in his life when he's about to become a father, you will be one of the last ones to know because you surely won't as important to Ethan as he is to you. He'll be so happy about the news and you'll try to display the same level of enthusiasm for him when he tells you, but your heart would hurt so much watching someone else living the dreams that you saw for yourself.

"Can I at least be the Godmother?" You'd ask pathetically, eyes glossy with tears and voice weak and on the verge of breaking.

Ethan would hold a look of guilt in his eyes when he'd reply with, "I'll ask the missus about that."

The baby will be born, looking like the perfect mixture of his father and mother. You'd get a picture sent to you accompanied by a happy voicemail from the new dad, but that's all you'd get. Of course you won't be the Godmother because the actual mother has a best friend that is better qualified for that role.

What next? You'll be invited to the first birthday party of the little Dolan and again, against your better judgement, you'll go. When you'll show up, his wife would be looking like a goddess in her white flowy dress and Ethan would be by her side wearing an all white tuxedo because that's exactly what a new father doesn't know to do at his child's first birthday party. He'll be happier than ever, greeting guests and playing with his little one. He'll spot you from a distance and come greet you with a beaming smile that would still be too painful for you to watch and he'd hug you for too short of a time. Before you can properly catch up, he'll be whisked away by his wife because she'll need his help with something and he'll be there for her, being the great husband that he will be.

You'll find some alcohol and sit at the last table at the end of the yard and drink by yourself. And when it's time to cut the cake, You'll hover by the back of the crowd gathered around the table the baby is getting cake all over her and her daddy's outfits. You'll feel an irresistible urge to push through everyone and dampen a towel to wipe all the chocolate cake off of Ethan's suit but you'll force yourself to stay in the back, because by the time the though came into your mind, his wife is already taking off his jacket and wiping off his tie with a damp cloth that she already had prepared, because she will be a good mom and a good wife.

You'll again slip past everyone just like you did at their wedding and even though Grayson saw you, he wouldn't stop you from leaving because he, along with everyone else would know what you still feel for Ethan. You'll still receive invitations to birthday parties that you'll never go to and phone calls that you'll never accept, but that is the price you have to pay for entertaining the idea that Ethan could ever be yours.

"Y/N?" Ethan's voice brings you out of your depressing thoughts and you look down at him. "Its late, I think you should head home."

This always happens. Whenever Ethan feels sad or doesn't want to talk to anyone, You're usually the one to crack open his shell and let him vent. It takes some time, but he does open up and once he's taken out all his anger at the universe or cried to his hearts content, or ranted about anything and everything, he asks you very politely, to get out. Just like he has right now. It might not be his intention to make you feel used and thrown away, but that's exactly what you are left to feel at the end of all this.

You're used to this, you don't know why it still hurts so bad.

"Yeah," you nod with a smile, getting out of his bed and slipping your feet into your shoes, "I'm feeling sleepy anyway,"

Telling that blatant lie and passing Ethan one last fake smile, you walk out of his room. Once you close the door after you, you take a moment to collect yourself before you walk out and face Grayson. You don't want him to see you're basically breaking from the inside. You take a deep, shaky breath, straighten your spine, make sure you wipe under your eyes and paste a small smile on your face as you walk into a living room.

As expected, Grayson hasn't gone to bed despite it being way later than what he's used to. Seeing you, he rushes to his feet in an instant, searching your face for any signs that you might have failed in getting to Ethan to talk.

"Is he okay?" Grayson asks as you walk further into the room.

"Yeah." You sigh, finally feeling the emotional exhaustion catching up when you sit down and slump on the couch. "He was-" you sigh again, "very upset."

Now it's Grayson's turn to sigh. "Yeah, I know."

"But he's fine now, cried a little," a lot. You correct in your head, recalling the half an hour that he spent crying into your neck. You don't want to tell Grayson that because you know he'll worry. His brother doesn't cry easily, especially over a girl. "I think he's rode out the worst, though."

"Is he awake-" Grayson stands up, "Can I go see him?"

"I think you should wait till the morning, Gray." Your words make him sit back down and your monotonous voice makes him look at you with a frown between his brows. Grayson's eyes search your face the way he does when he's trying to read someone, he does that a lot. When you notice he's doing that again, you look away. "And I think you should sleep too, you look really tired."

"And you?" Grayson inquires quietly.

You flash him a quick smile before getting up on your feet, "I'm leaving."

Grayson frowns, "No, it's too late, Y/N, sleep in the guestr-"

"Nah, I uh, I can head home-"

"Y/N, what's wrong?" Grayson now stands up to his full height, towering over you as his thumb and index finger tilt up your face, "Did Ethan say something."

The pure concern in Grayson's voice has never made you tear up, but today it does. You press your lips together to stop them from trembling and look away from his eyes to hide your glossy ones, before shaking your head.

Grayson doesn't believe you for a second, but he knows better than to push you when you don't want to tell him. "Alright then, let me drive you at least."

"I came in my car, G." You respond to him, taking steps away from him so he is unable to see that you're on the verge of bawling your eyes out. Ethan could at least offer for you to stay the night like Grayson did, but no, even that is too much for you to ask from him. "And you go sleep, your eyes are red and puffy."

"Your eyes are red and puffy," Grayson can't help but cut back. Grayson and you have been best friends for as long as Ethan and you have and while Ethan is the love of your life, Grayson is the male version of you. You are very close with him, he basically is like the brother you never had so it's obvious he hates it when you are in pain, even more so when you hide it. "You know you can't lie to me, right? And you do know that I know, right Y/N?"

You sigh, "Gray-"

"When are you gonna tell him?" Grayson's voice is demanding, like he's daring you to try and lie to his face again, "How long are you going to keep letting him look around and get his heart broken when the right girl is in front of-"

"I have a feeling that he already knows, Grayson." You cut him off sharply, your eyes never leaving his as you speak, "I think he knows and I think he doesn't feel the same way."

Grayson watches as you stand there, not avoiding eye contact this time. It's like you're challenging him to disagree with you. He doesn't try to though because he knows nothing he says will make you change your mind. It's tragic, seeing how much someone loves his brother and not letting said brother know about it, because he thinks that if Ethan knew, the whole story would be different.

"Good night, Gray. Sleep tight."

Grayson watches you open the door and walk out of the house. You walk to your car that's parked beside Ethan's and slide in. The engines come to life a minute later. He stands where he was and watches you until your car is out of sight. Then, he sighs and with a heavy heart, walks into his room. He really wishes he could do something about the Ethan and Y/N situation. He knows that they are both hurting and he wishes he could help, but that's in his nature. Grayson has always been the helper ever since he was a toddler and he hates it when he can't fix things. But just like he dad once told him when he was younger, he can't fix everything and he doesn't have to feel bad about it.

But he knows that Ethan won't be sleeping tonight and neither will you, he knows that you denied him from driving you home because you would be crying in your car right now and you need privacy for doing that. He also knows that you would be crying and hurting all night long and he probably won't see your face for a week because you'll need that time to heal before you can face ethan again. It's because he knows those things that he feels bad about not being able to fix them.

If only he could fix them.

A few feet away from Grayson's room, his elder brother lays wide awake, looking up at the ceiling with his hands behind his head. Ethan feels better after talking to Y/N, he always feels better after talking to her. But she looked sad when she left. Try as he might, he can't get the image of her face as she was putting on her shoes and leaving his room, out of his mind. She did try to flash him a smile, but he saw right through it. He also saw her eyes getting redder.

Ethan hates hurting Y/N. He really hates it. And yet, that's exactly what he always ends up doing. He doesn't know what he does that hurts her, if he did, he would stop doing that immediately. But he also knows that she won't tell him if he asked her. She doesn't even look him in the eye anymore. Whenever he is in her presence, he wishes he could read minds, or just her mind specifically.

Sighing, he groans and turns his body to lay on his side, searching for a comfortable position so he can shut his brain for the night and go to sleep. He blindly reaches for his 'cuddle pillow' as he likes to call it and presses it to his chest, wrapping it in his strong arms. The second he does that, he smells Y/N. Her scent lingers on his cuddle pillow because she was laying on it when she was here. This little thing makes him smile and rub his face against his pillow lovingly.

He was so comfortable and relaxed when he had her in his arms, even when his face was buried in her neck. He feels almost the same way cuddling the pillow just because it smells like her. Why did he ask her to go home in the first place?

Yes, she says she doesn't sleep well on any bed that isn't her own but maybe she would have liked Ethan's arms? He remembers her falling asleep on his shoulder so many times when they go on a road trip and Grayson's driving, she even slept on him in a movie theator once. Gosh, he should have asked her to stay.

That way, he would hold her and comfort her get her to feel better like she did him. She always does this, she comes in and takes away Ethan's troubles and leaves feeling sad herself. She never let's him help.

He twists and turns again, sighing in annoyance at not being able to sleep. Then, he reaches for his phone and opens it to see the time, hoping that it's not too late to go to Y/N's. If she doesn't like to sleep in anyone's bed, he can go over to hers because he doesn't have a problem in sleeping in her bed. His sleep isn't really affected by location, Ethan Dolan can crash anywhere if he's feeling sleepy, and sleeping with his best friend in his arms sounds like an awesome idea right now.

But according to his phone, it's already 4:48 in the morning and Y/N must already be fast asleep. Groaning, Ethan slams his phone down on the mattress beside him and turns on his side again, hoping and praying for sleep to come.

And it finally does. He is curled up in a ball, draping his blanket up to his chin. His arms are wrapped around his cuddle pillow and Y/N's scent on it makes a smile appear on his face even as he sleeps.

Meanwhile, the girl whose scent made him fall asleep, cries and cries until her eyes are hurting and her throat his scratchy. She doesn't remember when she fell asleep exactly because the last thing she remembers is pulling up a picture of Ethan on her phone, her favourite picture of Ethan that he sent her when he was in New Jersey for Christmas holidays, and weeping while gazing at his smiling face.

When she wakes up the next day, her eyes are so puffy, it's hard to open them and her phone still displays Ethan's smiling face just like it did the night before.

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