#he's trans and they haven't exactly been cool about that

[poor-boy-orpheus]

.

[pressureplus]

I need that for my comfort!🥺✨ Trans boy reader who started to have dysphoria because his hair a getting to long for his comfort. So he ask to Sebastian to help him cut them shorter, which Sebastian hesitantly agreed. Might not be the best since it’s was cut with some scissors and also because Sebastian never cut hair before. But reader is still happy with the result lol.

This is so cute

Hair and Care 101

Pairings: Sebastian Solace X TransMasc!Reader

Au: Classic

Warnings: Mentions of Gender Dysphoria

◞꒷◟ ͜ ͜ ◞ྀི◟୨୧◞ྀི◟ ͜ ͜ ◞꒷◟◞꒷◟ ͜ ͜ ◞ྀི◟୨୧◞ྀི◟ ͜ ͜ ◞꒷◟

“And you're sure you want me to cut it? You won't do it yourself?”

“I can't exactly see the back of my head, so yes.” You sit on a stool, hands knitted together in anxiety. You'd asked Sebastian if he would be willing to cut your hair for you today. It had been, admittedly, a bit awkward to ask. He’d been flipping through files and restocking the supplies on his tail when you'd stepped into his shop. Your long hair getting in your eyes and somewhat fanning out nearly down to your hips. You hadn't had the opportunity to get it cut in so long it made your skin crawl. You felt…feminine. Way too feminine. You can't remember the last time you let your hair grow out this long and its made it really, really hard to focus on anything else. Its not just because it gets in your eyes and you can't for the life of you find a hairtie. Its deeper than that. You've started to almost flinch away from your reflections in the water and windows.

You've started to grab at your hips, at your face, poking and prodding and wondering if you can even pass with long hair. You haven't met another person besides Sebastian and the idea of being unable to see yourself the way you should. The way you know in your heart to be right. It makes you uncomfortable. You can only pinch and poke and prod for so long before your skin gets irritated. Right now, sat here, waiting for Sebastian to cut your hair? This was like your skin getting irritated. You had to debate if you were willing to even let another person cut your hair. What if they butchered it? What if it made you look worse than before? What if he fucked it up so bad you looked like one of those weird troll dolls but worse somehow? It had been your biggest worry for quite some time, until your hair got long enough that you couldn't stand it anymore.

“I feel like I should make you sign a waiver.”

“Sebastian, Im serious. Please, just cut it, I don't care if it's the worst thing ever. I can't keep walking around like this.”

“You understand my hands are too big to fit these scissors properly, right?”

“Doesnt matter, just get it done.” He sighs and grabs a collection of your long locks, specifically the one around your face. He straightens the hair to the best of his abilities using a hand so he can make the cleanest cuts he can.

“Why does this matter so much to you? Shouldn't you be, I don't know, focused on surviving? I mean paying me for a haircut seems a bit much.”

“Its…complicated.”

“How complicated can it really be?” He hums as he continues to make cuts, the sound of scissors through hair joining the sound of dripping water and Sebastian's voice. Would he even be cool about something like this? He doesn't particularly like anyone, and he's not really friendly with you either. Would he use it against you somehow? Would he get aggressive about it?

“I just feel kind of…feminine, and it makes me uncomfortable.” You mutter and this only gets a chuckle, sounding condescending.

“Oh, Expendable, long hair doesn't make you any less of a man. Don't be ridiculous.”

“I just don't like it.”

“Look, all I'm saying is, you could have bought a medkit instead of a haircut. If its this important than fine. Who am I to tell you how to spend your collected data?”

“Whether it makes me more of a man or not, is it wrong of me to not like feeling…” You trail off, and all at once, Sebastian tenses mid cut.

“Oh…thats what this is about.” His tone softens up a bit, the mild poking he had been doing immediately being cut out as he carries on cutting your hair.

“This isn't too stupid of a purchase, I guess.” He adds on.

“Yeah?” You ask as he finishes up, putting the scissors to the side and ruffling your hair to get any loose strands out.

“Yeah. Go take a look,” he motions towards the water so you can see yourself in the reflection. You peer down into it curiously and immediately your shoulders relax. You hadn't even realized you'd been tense. Your hairs a bit choppy, admittedly, but its not ugly or particularly butchered by any means. He was oddly thoughtful and careful about taking care of your hair for you. Even saying it was ridiculous to spend your data on, he didn't ruin it for you on purpose.

“Its good, you did a good job.”

“Yeah, well, I'm sure if you keep coming to me I'll get better every time.”

“Im sure you will, then.” You give him a smile and he kind of awkwardly smiles back for a moment. A bit of hesitation as you grab the keycard off his desk and put your swimming gear back on now that its dry.

“Wait.”

“Ah- Yes Sebastian?” You turn, concerned about what he might say. He's not stupid and you're certain he's figured you out by now. If he doesn't like it, there's nothing he can do about it sure but you always tense when people get all awkward around you. He hesitates a moment longer before giving you a little wave.

“You look better with short hair anyway.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah, I do…now go on and get out of here. I've got other Expendables to deal with and a mess of hair to clean.”

[dresshistorynerd]

Roughly 10 Cool Historical Queer Figures More People Should Know About

Part 1 - From Ancient Era to Early Modern Era

In spirit of Pride Month here's some snippets of queer history I think are interesting.

I've been working on a series of deep dives into interesting historical queer figures, but I haven't had the time to continue my list after the first entry about Julie d'Aubigny. I do want to continue with it, but I came to the realization that I will never have to time to do all the cool and interesting figures in depth, since there's too many, so I decided to do a list with brief descriptions about some of my favorite figures who are not that well known. Some of them are more well-known than others but I think they all deserve more acknowledgement.

I was able to trim down the number of figures to (roughly) 20, which was still too many for one post, so it's two posts now. They are in chronological order, so this part is set mostly before Victorian Era and the second part will be from Victorian Era onward.

This list is centered around western history (but not exclusively) because that's the history I'm most familiar with, though it's definitely not all white, since western history is not all white. I will be avoiding using modern labels, since they are rarely exactly applicable to history, rather I will present whatever we know about these figures' gender, sexuality and relationships. If there's information about what language they used about themselves, I will use that. Often we don't know their own thoughts, so I will need to do some educated guess work, but I will lean towards ambiguity whenever evidence is particularly unclear. If you are the type of person who gets angry with the mere suggestion there's a possibility that a historical gnc person might not have been cis, I encourage you to read my answers to related asks (here and here) first before sending me another identical ask. Try to at least bring some new arguments if you decide to waste my time with your trans erasure.

1. Khnumhotep and Niankhkhnum (latter half of 2400 BCE)

Khnumhotep and Niankhkhnum were ancient Egyptian royal servants, and possibly the first recorded gay couple in history known by name. They shared the title of Overseer of the Manicurists in the Palace of King Nyuserre Ini. They both had a wife and children, but they (along with their families) were buried together in a tomb. The tomb decorations show them similarly as other afterlife couples.

2. Marinos the Monk (c. 5th-8th century)

Marinos the Monk was born as Marina somewhere in eastern parts of Byzantine Empire, likely in the Levant. He was from a wealthy Christian family, possibly Coptic. Assigned female at birth his widowed father planned to marry him off and go to a monastery himself, but he convinced his father to take him with him dressed as a boy named Marinos. His father agreed and they were accepted as monks. After his father died many years later, he continued his life as a male presenting monk. Later he was accused of fathering an illegitimate child with a daughter of an innkeeper, which was not possible, but he didn't revoke the accusations, instead he begged for the abbot's forgiveness for "his sins". Marinos was banished from the monastery and became a beggar. For 10 years he raised his alleged illegitimate child as a father, until he was allowed to return to the monastery and do penance. Only after his death the abbot and the monks discovered his genitals and his inability to father children and were distraught for punishing an innocent man for 10 long years. The real father was discovered and along with the innkeeper and his daughter they all came to honor Marinos' grave and ask his forgiveness. He was canonized as a saint for his sacrificial selflessness, modesty and humility and honored across the Mediterranean from Ethiopia to France.

3. Mubārak and Muẓaffar al-Saqlabi (c. 10th - 11th century)

Mubārak and Muẓaffar were co-rulers of Taifa of Valencia in Muslim Spain. Al-Saqlabi means literally "of the Slavs", which in Al-Andalus was a general term for enslaved northern Europeans, as the two had been enslaved as children. They were in the service of another al-Saqlabi, a chief of police, and they worked they way up as civil servants till a local military coup in 1010, which resulted in them becoming the emirs of Taifa of Valencia. English language sources often describe them as "brothers" and "eunuchs", which gives the "historical gal pals" trope a concerning twist, but contemporary Muslim sources wrote fawningly about their passionate love, trust based on equality and mutual devotion. There was a popular genre of homoerotic poetry in the Islamic world at the time and poems in that genre were written about celebrating Mubārak and Muẓaffar's relationship. In 1018 Mubārak was killed in a riding accident and Muẓaffar shortly after in an uprising.

4. Eleno de Céspedes (1545 – died after 1589)

CW: genital inspection

Eleno was born in Andalusia, Spain, to an enslaved black Muslim woman and to a free Castillian peasant. He was assigned female at birth, given name Elena, and branded as a mulatto born to a slave. She was freed as a child and married to a stonemason at 15-16 years old. When pregnant, her husband left her and died a while later. Later Eleno testified that his intersex condition became externally visible, while he gave birth, and he became a man. He left his son to be raised by a friend and traveled around Spain. After he stabbed a pimp and ended up in jail, he started presenting as a man and openly courting women. Eventually he taught himself to be a surgeon with the help of a surgeon friend.

When he married María del Caño, his maleness was questioned and he was subjected to genital inspection multiple times and it was agreed by doctors that he had definitely male genitals, possibly also female genitals. After a year of marriage the couple was accused of sodomy. Eleno was tried by the Spanish Inquisition and subjected to more genital inspections, during which no penis was found. He claimed that his penis had been amputated after an injury. He defended himself in the trial by arguing that his intersex condition was natural and he had become a man after his pregnancy, so his marriage was legal. He was sentenced only for bigamy, since he had not confirmed that his husband was dead and punished as a male bigamist with 200 lashes and 10 years of public service to care for the poor in a public hospital. His fame attracted a lot of people wanting to be healed by him, which which was very embarrasing for the hospital so he was sent away and eventually exonerated from his charges.

7. Chevaliére d'Éon (1728-1810)

Charles d'Éon de Beaumont was born to a poor French noble family. In their 20s they became a government official and at 28 they joined the secret spy network of the king, Secret du Roi. They became a diplomat first in Russia and later in Britain while they used their position to spy for the king. Rumors circulated in London that they were secretly a woman. While in London they had a falling out with the French ambassador, accused him of attempted murder and published secret diplomatic correspondence. They were instead accused of libel and went into hiding. After the death of Louis XV in 1774 and the abolishment of Secret du Roi, d'Éon negotiated with the French government of the end of their exile in exchange for the rest of the secret documents he possessed. D'Éon took the name Charlotte, claimed she was in fact a cis woman - she had pretended to be man since a child so she could get the inheritance - and demanded the government to recognize her as such. When the king agreed and included funds for women's wardrobe, she agreed and returned to France in 1777. After that she helped rebels in the American War of Indepence - was not allowed to ]go and fight too, ghostwrote her not super reliable memoir, offered to lead a division of female soldiers against the Hasburgs in 1792 - was for some reason denied, attended fencing tournaments till 65 years old and settled down for the rest of her years with a widow, Mrs. Cole. After her death a surgeon reported that she had male primary sex characteristics, but fairly feminine secondary sex characteristics, like round breasts, which might suggest she had hormonal difference/was intersex in some way.

8. Public Universal Friend (1752-1819)

Public Universal Friend, or The Friend or PUF, was born as Jemima Wilkinson to Quaker parents in Rhodes Island, USA. Jemima contracted a disease in 1776, gained intense fever and almost died. The Friend claimed that she did die and God sent the Friend to occupy her body. The Friend didn't identify as man or a woman, and when asked about the Friend's gender, the Friend said "I am that I am". The Friend didn't want any gendered pronouns or gendered language to be used about the Friend. The Friend's pronouns, according to the writings of the Friend's followers, were "the Friend", "PUF" and possibly he. First recorded neo-pronouns perhaps? The Friend also dressed in androgynous/masculine manner.

The Friend started a bit cultish religious society disavowed by mainstream Quakers, The Society of Universal Friends, which I can only describe as chaotic good. The Friend first predicted a Day of Judgement would come in 1780 and when 1780 came and went, the Friend decided it was New England's Dark Day in 1780 and they had survived survived the Judgement Day so all was good then. The Friend preached for gender equality, free will, universal salvation (Jesus saved everyone and no one will go to hell) and abolition of slavery. The Friend persuaded any followers to free their slaves, which is probably the most chaotic good thing a potential cult leader can do with their influence over their followers, and several freed black people followed the Friend too. The Friend advocated for celibacy and was unfavorable towards marriage, but didn't think celibacy or rejection of marriage were necessary for everyone else, so it feels more like a personal preference. Many young unmarried women followed the Friend and some of them formed Faithful Sisterhood and took leadership positions among the Society.

The Society of Universal Friends tried to form a town for themselves around mid-1780s, till in 1799 the Friend was accused of blasphemy. The Friend successfully escaped the law two times. First the Friend, a skilled rider (what's a gender neutral version of horse girl?), escaped with a horse, then after an officer and an assistant tried to arrest the Friend at home, women of the house drove the men away. Third time 30 men surrounded the Friend's home at night, but a doctor convinced them that the Friend was in too poor health to move but would agree to appear at court. The Friend was cleared for all charges and even allowed to preach at the court.

9. Mary Jones (early 1800s–1853)

Mary Jones' origin is unknown, but she was an adult in 1836 in New York, USA. She was a free Black person, who preferred to present as a woman. She was sex worker by trade and used a prosthetic vagina. As a side hustle she would steel her customer's wallets, and usually they wouldn't tell anyone because it was 1830s and inter-racial sex and prostitution were illegal and everyone was repressed. Smart. Get your coin, girl. However after one of her more shameless customers discovered his wallet with 99 dollars inside had been replaced with a different man's empty wallet and contacted the police, she was arrested. The police discovered she had male genitals and when they searched her room they found several more stolen wallets. She appeared in court in her female presentation and when asked about her dress, she said that prostitutes she had worked with encouraged her to dress in women's clothing and said she looked better in them. They were right and she had since presented as a woman in her evening profession and among other Black people. She was convicted for grand larceny and sentenced to 5 years in prison. Later she continued to present as a woman and practice sex work, for which she was arrested for two more times.

10. George Sand (1804-1876)

George Sand was pen name of Amantine Lucile Aurore Dupin de Francueil, a French Romantic writer. Amantine was high-born with a countess as a grandmother. George wrote about themself with alternating masculine and feminine language, using feminine language when talking about his childhood, but masculine language often other times. Their friends also used both masculine and feminine terms about them. Victor Hugo for example said about them: "George Sand cannot determine whether she is male or female. I entertain a high regard for all my colleagues, but it is not my place to decide whether she is my sister or my brother." George preferred men's clothing in public, which was illegal for those seen as women without a permit, but they didn't ask for permissions. They alternated between masculine and feminine presentations. They were outspoken feminist, critic of the institution of marriage, committed republican and supporter of worker's rights. They were married at age 18, had two children and left their husband in 1831, but legally separated from him in 1835. They had many affairs with men and some with women, at least with actress Marie Dorval. Their most notable relationship was with Frédéric Chopin, but they fell out before Chopin's death.

[friend-of-a-cat]

I've been debating on whether or not I may be agender (or something similar) for the past two weeks or so, and I'm legitimately so confused about the entire thing. I feel like it's breaking my brain, because, on one hand, it feels somewhat right, but on the other, I also don't give a shit if people see me as a woman? And I'm fine with being a woman I think, but I also think I just generally don't give a shit about gender, so I don't know if that just makes me gender indifferent or if it means something else.

Ultimately, I know that if I want to take up the agender label that's totally up to me if I feel it fits, but it's just... confusing. I don't know if my indifference to gender stems from something like my asexuality and sex aversion or my upbringing (my mum didn't necessarily raise my brother and I as 'genders', we just did whatever and dressed however and liked whatever) or a general dislike and rejection of gender stereotypes or something else. But also... I don't know. I feel like I also have a kind of blockage to the idea of me being agender from living my life as a woman up until this point. Like, I feel conditioned to it, if that makes sense. I feel biased. Though I also think, at least right now upon writing this, that if I could have picked a gender earlier in life, and I wasn't conditioned by society to be a one already, I would have picked none if I had've known that was an option? But I'd also just go along with anything. Like, if I were born male I think I would have just cruised by in life as a guy and not really cared (except for the fact that I also would be thinking the same things I'm thinking right now I guess lol). I've realised that I don't really feel connected to 'woman' as a gender (I mean, I relate to being a woman, but also not), or even really the concept of gender, because I think it's kind of stupid and pointless to me. I mean, in saying this, I am still attracted to guys romantically, and that has to do with gender, so...?? I don't know. Like, I know that you can still be a woman and not be feminine and shit, but like... I've never related to people of my gender. I mean, I like feminine things and I like masculine things and I like gender-neutral things but I also don't think we should label things as 'feminine' or 'masculine' or 'gender neutral' or whatever because who cares?? I mean, some people do. Lots of people do. People do feel a strong connection to gender, and I think that's great, and I'm happy it exists because it makes people happy, but like... I don't think I've ever thought to myself "I'm glad I'm a woman". But I'm also not NOT glad to be a woman. I just haven't really felt a connection or a 'pull' to any gender, really. I mean, kind of. But not really. I'm relatively indifferent to the concept as a whole. In saying this, I've related way more to guys throughout my life, and many of my friends have been guys because I've just... had more fun and related to them more? Though this wasn't entirely because they were guys - it's just because of the people they were. But I also don't exactly feel like I'm a guy, either. And I don't exactly feel like I relate to being nonbinary. The concept of calling myself trans also doesn't fit. Some days I do feel like it would be really cool to just... be able to shapeshift and try out different things just for fun and to see how I'd feel? Like try out a different sex and gender and appearance and see. I like the way I look, though. And I'm fine with using she/her because I don't know what other pronouns I'd use?? Like I've been referred to as such my whole life and I don't really care but also right now I'm kind of like ehhhh. But I don't know if I'd want to go by they/he/whatnot. I know there are tons of other options but ehhh. If my pronouns were 'none' I think that'd be cool. Maybe. Maybe it would be less complicated. Dude, I don't know. It's 2:28 a.m. and I'm confused and I don't know if this makes any sense. I also feel like I'm flipping between feeling like this and then also not. I think just needed to ramble a bit to some strangers on the internet to get my thoughts in order lol.

I guess another reason I made this post is... does anyone else feel the same way? I mean, obviously people do, but yeah. I also know a lot of ace people (and aros, as well) experience a kind of disconnect with gender as a whole or their body - not that I personally feel disconnected from mine, per se (though if I didn't have fucking boobs and a reproductive system that'd be swell, but it also just is what it is, you know? I don't really see that as dysphoria, it's more like they're annoying and useless to me lol). I don't know if this is that - a disconnect from gender due to my asexuality. Like... for the people who do 'feel' gender... how? How do you 'feel' it? What is it meant to 'feel' like? I think I might need some helping sorting out my thoughts. Or not. I don't know.

Anyway, I think, first and foremost before any label, I'm just me, and that's okay. Even though I love that we have more terms to express ourselves in such ways now, it's still limiting. I'm ace and I love that the term exists because it's felt empowering to me (also pretty lonely, too, but... you know). Like... I'm ace. I'm ace and it feels so good to say it. Demiromantic fits me the best in that department at the moment, too. I don't know if agender fits me or not yet. This has been stewing for two weeks though and I don't know what exactly set me on this line of thought. I've decided I'm going to sit on it for a while and think - and by 'sit and think' I really mean probably forget about it because gender is something I rarely think about in any context (besides when I'm angry at people for being discriminatory). Though, the reason why I didn't realise I was ace until a few years ago when I discovered what it is is because I never thought about sexual attraction because... I never felt it, so... I could use that logic here, too. But it's sadly not that simple to me right now lol. It's hard to express stuff like this. As in, stuff you DON'T feel. I know it doesn't have to be hard, but I'm finding it hard lol, and I don't really know how to go about it. And again, I keep changing my mind on my thoughts and feelings because the whole prospect is daunting to me.

Anyway, thanks for coming to my TED Talk. As per usual, thoughts and discussions are welcome. I kind of feel like I'm oversharing my life, so I'm so sorry lol. Also this is a long post lmao. But it was kind of nice to put this into words.

It's also kind of funny that this crisis is happening in pride month. I fully came to terms with the fact I was ace last pride month and actually told people then lmao (I did know a year or two earlier but didn't tell anyone about it besides my mum briefly and vaguely lol). Anyway, happy pride?? Lol.

[constitutionalweasleymonarchy]

💗 Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. spread the self-love! 💗

Thank you for this!

The Pride of Burrough House -- Regency romance Muggle AU with multiple plotlines, all the Weasley siblings' canon ships. Writing this is an absolute blast. I get to write all the tropes, and while we haven't got really spicy yet, the ship dynamics run the gamut from Percy/ Miss Dawlish and their repressed pining, to one ship I won't reveal right now who are going to have a Bridgerton-esque carriage ride...

Days That End In Y -- a flash fic collection about Percy's romantic relationships/ encounters/ missed connections over the course of his life -- I play around with various dynamics until about halfway through we get to the one that really captures his heart, and from there on it's all the Percy/Audrey love (and a few chapters dealing with Percy as a dad). I've been able to create some really fun OC's for this fic, such as Percy's former Hogwarts academic rival turned friends with benefits Remy Chadwick-Esposito, and a pretty young woman who works in a record store whose name unfortunately is a dealbreaker for Percy...

Kiss Each Other Clean -- a soft post-war Romione fic that I am just really glad I wrote -- it emphasizes their friendship and trust and comfort with one another as much as their newly emerged romantic feelings.

Clair de Lune -- a one-shot about trans Luna finding herself in the context of her relationship with her late mother.

Irrational -- the fic that started me on my Percy obsession... 15 years ago (omg). It's not my best writing ever, and if I had to do it over there are some tweaks I might make, but it's actually kind of a cool demonstration of the evolution of my writing over the years as the chapters go on. And it's just all about someone who adores Percy for exactly who he is, and how he responds to receiving this unconditional kind of love. I reeeeeally need to update...

[elliwiny]

TLDR The Musical Chicago Taught Me About The Terrible Societal Pressure to Perform Gender Way Before I Really Understood What That Even Was

So it's Pride Month! And I've been listening to Chicago basically every day because it's exactly the length of my commute right now so I wanted to write about it.

I didn't grow up questioning my gender, and I guess my sexuality was 'I'll worry about that when I'm older' - until I got to my 20's and hit the 'oh shit, I haven't got the feelings I'm supposed to have, is something wrong with me?' phase of my existence.

Bringing it around to Chicago - I mean, look at her! It's Catherine Zeta Jones! Everybody is a little attracted to women, right? They're supposed to be hot! That's just how it is!

Hahahahaha.

But other than my hilariously delayed lesbianism I think Chicago stealthily gave me a primer on the fucked up ways our society enforces gender performance. Because you don't have to be trans to be in a situation where your life depends on giving 'em the ol' razzle dazzle.

The protagonist, Roxy Hart, is an asshole, a murderer, and kind of a ditz. Most of the criminals are right assholes, some are more sympathetic, and one is even 100% innocent! Aside from the innocent Hungarian, the thing the prisoners have in common is that they were boxed in, and were driven to violence after being pushed too far.

Whether 'too far' is justified is immaterial to the point. They became outlaws, and must perform womanhood to win over the court of public opinion and earn their 'not guilty' verdicts. And it's not just the kind of performance where you have to color inside the lines to not come off as weird, it's the kind where you dance and contort for the entertainment of the people who get to decide whether you get to live or die.

In Roxy's case this is kind of awesome. She's always wanted to be a star and with the power of hot-headed cold-blooded murder, she's stumbled ass-backwards into an unexpected avenue of fame and attention. She's determined to do this well, not for her survival (she doesn't appreciate the gravity of the situation, yet) but for a way to launch a career as a singer.

I mean what's Roxy's other choice? Go back to Amos? The guy who affectionately puts her on the same level as a housecat in his song? He's not the one who 'pushed' her, poor guy can't push anybody to do anything, but that's not even an option she entertains. I used to think he was one of the few good people in this movie/show, but it became pretty clear to me that devotion isn't the same thing as love.

Anyway, enter Billy Flynn, famous lawyer and expert ringmaster. In the song where he talks to the press, they do this cool thing where the reporters' initial questions don't follow the melody at first. As Billy crafts Roxy's story they quickly fall into the structure of the music, too. They draw the conclusions he wants them to, too. "Understandable! Comprehensable! Not a bit reprehensible, it's so defensible~"

Roxy's cover story is absurd, by the way, but it ingeniously plays to her type. She's a ditz but she's not naive, she has incredible natural instincts for the game she's playing. (Well, when it counts. She is resistant following the script, which sometimes gets her in trouble)

Roxy's innocent veneer plays contrast to the Hungarian, who becomes the first woman in the county to be hung for murder. She can't speak the language, literally, which locks her out of being able to play the game at all. In the framework of Roxy's imagination, we see the Hungarian's death as another performance... Because it is!

If you cannot perform, a narrative will be assigned to you and we will cheer for your pretty corpse. The metaphor could not be more clear. This is when shit gets real for Roxy, too.

Velma Kelly is also a good performer, who knows the game, but she has a disadvantage to Roxy. Her story just isn't as good. Nobody really believes she didn't do it, she's already so entrenched in the circus of jazz and liquor and sin that sentencing her is the least interesting outcome. I think that's why she gets away with shit like 'oh I blacked out I can't remember a thing' and getting her charges thrown out in exchange for her testifying against Roxy.

After all, she can't do it alone ;) if she didn't suck up her pride and embrace the pivot to playing the heel in Roxy's story, I bet she'd be hanging, too. Or at least, destitute.

They're both discarded by the public as soon as the verdict is passed and there's fresh blood to gawk at. The only way they survive as independent women cast outside the protections offered as stifled housewives is to embrace the world of Jazz, liquor, and sin... and most importantly, the narrative of the rivalry that they perform for those roaring ding-dong-daddies.

And it's not so bad, because that's what they both wanted, anyway.

[sillylittlecreatur3]

New Introduction Post !

Hello, this is my new introduction post as I've realized some new things about my journey recently and I feel it's necessary to reintroduce myself due to this.

My apologies to the people who have already seen my original introduction O⁠_⁠o

My name is Virgil, I'm a trans man and I use He/Him pronouns ! ^⁠_⁠^

This is a shifting account so you'll see me reposting mostly that type of content, as I don't make posts of my own a lot (⁠+⁠_⁠+⁠)

For the posts that are my own, I don't exactly have a consistent posting schedule I really just post random things about my journey ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

I haven't shifted yet, but I've had at least 41+ Drs in the time I've known about shifting. I don't exactly remember when I learned about shifting but it's been roughly a year since then I believe :⁠-⁠P

I used to be a permashifter, but I had a realization recently that permashifting probably isn't the best path for me. However, anyone who chooses to permashift is cool as fuck and I fully support & respect their decision !! :⁠^⁠)

My main interest is Undertale, but I'm also interested in things like Roblox Myths, Vocaloid, and Analog Horror !

( I'm very partial to my OCs as well …⁠ᘛ⁠⁐̤⁠ᕐ⁠ᐷ )

I'm also a VERY amateur writer, and I may post what I write at some point if I feel confident enough to do so ! :⁠-⁠D

Feel free to ask me about my Drs, my Ocs, anything really !! (⁠^⁠^⁠)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[boy-above]

What r ur ocs like!

OHHHHH boy the problem with my ocs is that the story i have for them is really big and unnecessarily complicated so it makes it hard to talk about them rip. ive actually been planning on trying to update their designs (since i haven't drawn most of them in years) and explain the story more yknow. i actually do have recent drawings of my two favorite ocs that i haven't shared yet though so i suppose now is the time to do it

this is wyatt! he is definitely my favorite oc. he's 25, saudi, and a cis gnc gay man. he's 5'2 and is incredibly cute. he's the epitome of the >:3 face and can be mean at times, but is very soft with his boyfriend. he has a tragique past with an abusive father and has some pretty gnarly ptsd. he died once (he's okay now though) by drowning so he's afraid of water. he can see dead people which is fun. his role in the story is a bit of reverse grim reaper, he has the power to bring people back to life, although maintains the reaper aesthetic. he has a big knife and if he pierces a dead person they'll be revived, but if it pierces a living person they'll dissolve into dust and not even their spirit remains. he has powers like being able to float, go through walls, teleport short distances etc. some danny phantom shit.

this is hayden, wyatt's boyfriend. he's a gay trans man, 26 years old, 6'0, indian. he's an engineer and kind of a genius, taught himself calculus kinda shit. he has electric-adjacent powers (purple lightning!) and his role is that of an electrical engineer, performing maintenance on the power structures to keep everyone's powers working. he's also an inventor and has a steampunk-esque workshop where he builds a bunch of cool shit. he used to have an identical twin sister but she kiiiinda died when they were 14 and he has conflicting feelings about it because she wasn't exactly the best person to him. everyone in this story can shapeshift (albeit slowly over time) so he had a nice easy time transitioning. he lifts weight to cope with depression (and so he can pick up his boyfriend, the most importantest reason)

he and wyatt met when they were 15 and 16 and theyre very much in love. maybe a little codependent but shhhhh it's okay the environment they're in kinda calls for it. when wyatt was young he would see the fairytales where a princess would be rescued by a knight or prince and he wished one would save him from his abuse as well (alongside wishing that boys could be princesses, his journey from growing up in an extremely toxically (is that a word even??) house to accepting that he's allowed to like boys and be feminine was a hard one) and hayden was kinda like that dream come true! it was also fun bc hayden was able to give wyatt all his girl stuff from before he transitioned to give it a spin. hayden also really enjoys having a boyfriend thats smaller and daintier than him, makes him feel more masculine. over all they are incredibly in love and i'm obsessed with them and they occupy my thoughts a lot. i'm so sad bc i don't have a recent drawing of them, the last finished drawing i have of them together is from 2019 wtf 😭

[formosusiniquis]

things i know/things i want to learn

also on ao3 if you want the full smut experience, otherwise this stands on its own

He knows it's crazy. He knows it borders on batshit even. He knows it's weird and obsessive and, frankly, a little unhealthy.

But Nancy Wheeler started it.

Nancy Wheeler who is scary and prim and proper. Nancy Wheeler who had his hand in her lap last week, painting his nails a regal navy blue because it was the closest Nancy Wheeler had to black. Nancy Wheeler who spent the time their nails were drying chatting at him, like the Upside Down had spit him out solely so she would have a gal pal she could talk about boys with -- a first, he imagined, if his memory of Barbara Holland was at all accurate. Nancy Wheeler who said, "Jon is sweet, and he tries so I feel bad for even thinking it, but he just doesn't have as much fun when he's down there and you can tell. I mean, you know, when Steve did that thing he does with his tongue-"

Eddie has been running that particular sentence fragment through his head for the last week.

That thing with his tongue.

Has fun.

You know.

You know.

You know.

Cause the thing is, he decidedly does not know. He has never come anywhere near the realm of knowing. He would love to know exactly what he has done to make his new sort of friend, sort of nemesis and obvious flame of Steve's still burning affection think that he has any fucking inkling of a clue what kind of shit Steve 'always goes down' Harrington does with his tongue.

It's all he can think about.

Eddie is but a man. A man who has been forced by the fascist government and their pet doctors to stop smoking and give up most of the other addictive substances that he partook in for the sake of his admittedly shaky health. A man who has had these demands enforced by the much more effective puppy eyes of one Steve 'stop calling me mom, remember I was cool once' Harrington. A man who has an addictive personality, comes by it honest, and having given up smoking and drinking and the occasional bump -- anything from nature's bounty stays of course, he's not a total fucking loser -- has needed something new to latch onto.

Thank you Nancy 'I can only orgasm from oral' Wheeler for helping him straight onto the high that is staring at Steve Harrington and his pretty pink mouth.

I can tell he isn't having fun, not like Steve.

This thing with his tongue.

You know.

He wants to know.

The second thing, and it's barely a thing at all these days, is he does technically have some of the same shit going on that Wheeler does. A little bit less now. If there's a silver lining to this whole bat thing it's that, though he may be a nipple short, he lost enough of one tit to sweet talk his way into government funded top surgery, just to even things out. A just as silver lining, he was saved from the awkward 'guess what I'm trans' conversation thanks to the bat induced blood loss. When the older teens found him and Dustin, one of them in hysterics the other clinging to this mortal coil with both fists as best he could; and used the remains of a shirt that had seen better weeks to staunch the bleeding from his neck only to reveal that his own rippling pectorals had a different bounce than Steve 'at least I got to see his chest before I die' Harrington's. There wasn't any time for anything other than 'if he's still bleeding he's still alive let's move.'

They haven't talked about it.

He is fine not talking about it.

Prefers his acceptance this way actually. He knows he has a heating pad with his name, literally, on it at the Harrington abode, along with some other necessities. The only acknowledgement of his situation at all, that heating pad that's tucked away in the same drawer as Robin's -- also with her name on it like Steve doesn't trust them to share.

He would like to talk about it a little now. Now that he's been cleared for moderate exertion by a very mean physical therapist who enjoys inflicting so much misery on him that he's thinking of scrapping the black hanky all together. Cause he'd really, really like to know about that tongue thing.

Actually, first he'd really, really like to know why Nancy thinks he would already know. Maybe that's what eats at him the most -- second most the bats had actually eaten at him a lot, so he figures he can obsess about this for at least another week before it risks overtaking the literal eating -- that the woman who having had it all, having had Steve 'I know I saw you yesterday, but I missed you' Harrington in her pocket, and gave it away somehow sees something that makes her think Eddie is having sex with her ex-boyfriend on the regular.

She's supposed to be a detective, a real dateline NBC type. How on earth can she be looking at him and not see a starstruck virgin who, yes, is admittedly very, very in love lust with her ex.

And how is she okay with it?

Isn't there a best friend code or something? Not that Eddie would lay claim to that title, and it definitely feels weird ascribing it to Nancy when he's got the hellfire boys; but surely the regular friend code or the we survived a traumatic experience together and now we're inexplicably bonded for life code also has a byline about not sleeping with your compatriot's ex-boyfriends.

Even if she already thinks you know about how he gives good head.

So he just watches instead.

Watches him smile. Watches him pout. Watches him bite and lick and worry. Watches how they shine with something that's definitely more than just spit some days. Watches even closer to see if he can catch what Mabeline magic must be going on them.

He watches and watches and watches.

He has, by virtue of obsession, become the most studied observer of Steve 'absolutely wearing cherry flavored lipgloss' Harrington's mouth. He has also, by virtue of necessity, become the most talented reader of Steve 'seriously, Eddie, do I have something on my face' Harrington's lips.

Which provides him with a very interesting opportunity as he's browsing through the Family Video, looking for his pick for the weekly Big Kids Only movie night and not at all stalking Steve Harrington and his mouth.

"I'm going to ask him."

And Robin says something that involves an eye roll and a finger jabbed into a green polyester vest.

"I know I said it last week, but I mean it this time."

Her eyebrows are raised, so unimpressed she goes back to the counter to do whatever work stuff they supposedly do while they're here.

"I do mean it,” those cherry flavored lips pout, a dignified hand on his hip in the face of Robin’s clear disbelief.

She doesn’t open her mouth to answer this time but the arched brow and quirked smirk are clear enough that even he can make a guess at her response.

“I know I said that too, but I only kind of meant it last week. I actually mean it this time. “

She rolls her eyes, spitting out something quick and no doubt sharp and cutting with a slash of her hand.

“Just watch this.”

By this point Eddie 'hopelessly devoted to Stephan Richard Harrington’ Munson had actually stopped even pretending to be browsing the movie offerings of the sainted Family Video. He had in fact been standing with his hands wrapped around a copy of  The Last Unicorn watching Steve ‘does this thing with his tongue’ Harrington and his stupid mouth while he gossips with his stupid friend -- sorry, Buckley. A fact Steve must have already made note of, since he’s locking eyes with Eddie from across the store and shaping those soft pink lips into, “Go out with me?”

And that’s…

He does this thing with his tongue, you know.

You know.

Maybe he didn’t then, and maybe he doesn’t know why Nancy ‘shit we might actually be friends, I can never let her find out about this’ Wheeler thought he already would.

But if he plays his cards right, he might find out very, very soon.

[forffax]

returning the favor with oc asks since i always wanna hear about yours !! if you had to pick like your top 5 favorite characters who would they be and why 👀 bonus if you want to pick your favorite like settings/worlds/universes youve made for ocs too!

OOOUH thank u chase!!!

I'm gonna list out my favs then talk abt my main oc universe a bit ^_^

This got ridiculously long so it's going under a readmore <3

1. Tos Family (sorry this is going to be. the whole family bc I cannot possibly choose between them)

i. Lux Tos (he/him)

(realizing now i haven't drawn him in a hot fuckin minute)

MY DAD. guy of all time ever. everyone's favorite half-human time traveling alien war vet. it always feels weird referring 2 him as part alien even if it's technically true sdjfgs. fun lore fact: he was the Dead Older Brother in original iteration Zephyr's Sad Backstory but I liked him too much so I decided he got to live <3

Lux is one of my older ocs that I still actively draw and think abt (late middle school...) and he's changed a LOT over the years but he's so so so dear to me. my guy who has Seen the Horrors and is now happily gay married with a kid :') sdfkjsk most things abt his story is just me being So Incredibly Self Indulgent (cool powers, complicated sibling relationships, gay) but it makes me happy and I love sharing it with ppl! Someday Voided 2 will be real and ready to share with the world...

ii. Ferdinand Tos (he/him)

Dad....2!!!!!! I don't remember when exactly I thought him up but it was probably around when Lux's backstory was getting a major overhaul... He's a man out of time he's training to be a doctor and his will to live is so strong he spent the better part of nearly two decades building himself a new body! Guys who died but got better <3. I think I literally got brain blasted one day and decided he's a non-op trans man and it was the best thing ever for him actually. He's a southern californian stuck in the cold northwest (probably. either that or the northeast im not settled on that aspect yet skdjfs). He's been super fun to write from a worldbuilding perspective too bc his main goal is to pioneer a new branch of medicine using his powers! His relationship with Lux and the rest of the family (and his reconciliation with his sister) is sooooo important 2 me :]

iii. Athanasius Tos (she/her)

THANAAAAA most normal sibling (lie). She was adopted formally right after Lux "died" and had a bit of a complex about just being a "replacement" for a good while, and she THOUGHT she had worked through that when Lux suddenly re-appeared... they're on great terms now but it was Tense. She's a biochemist and probably makes the most out of the household (she shares an apartment with Zeph!) It's very important 2 me that she can let herself be vulnerable with her family and close friends after years of bottling everything up... Epic nerdy autistic butches in your area <3 Fun fact she is the only full human of the main cast!

iv. Zephyr Tos (she/him)

My fuckign auncle. Within the story she only recently realized he was bigender and is much happier for it, even if you couldn't tell by her permanent scowl skjdfgs. Zeph was the original protag (along with Thana) of the short story I wrote in middle school that turned into Voided 2! In-universe he was very clearly supposed to be the protag but missed/ignored the "call to action" phase and just got a shitton of Issues and Traumas instead <3 She's so everything 2 me he's a freelance writer/artist she's kinda cringe and he is trying only as hard as she absolutely needs to in order to get by. While his relationship with Lux is MUCH better than it was when Lux first came back, she's completely inseparable from Thana and would do anything for her (I feel like they spent equal times protecting each other from bullies as kids...) He's changed so much from her original incarnation but developing him has been SO much fun <3 Since Voided 2 runs on real-world time (in that I have specific real-world dates for most major events) she turned 50 fairly recently and that's fucked but also funny. old.

v. Alan Tos (any)

Alan! Love this kiddo. He's Lux and Ferdinand's adoptive kid! Xe doesn't learn about it for a while but she was a government secret experiment test-tube baby (they were trying to artificially fuse souls together, distantly related to the later Child Soldier School ze was placed into) (kid cannot catch a break). He's a good kid, if not a little clueless and naive... someone who would hold no ill-will if you had to cut their leg off (this is not a hypothetical GJSKDS). Somehow, despite all this, she is by far the most Normal out of xer family <3 His fashion sense is some kind of spectrum between 60s businesswoman and scene and tbh? Very fun to draw! Her friends and family are very very dear to them and at the moment xe's just kind of letting life take zem wherever.

2. Vague (it/they)

unauthorized fucking thing kill it with hammers NOW!!!!!

Vague started as I think just a proxy for myself in vent art I drew in like early high school sdhjfgds they have since become. something. my mascot I guess? (I still end up using it for vent art sometimes bc it's functionally unkillable and it's fun 2 get narsty sometimes.)

originally it was just the weird cat-shaped angel thing but a couple years ago I gave them a human design that I really love too <3 vague technically has a place in Niko and my other cat furry ocs' story but their human form exists in the real world and is just Like That i think. vague is just a little guy okay? they're sorry about crying and bleeding all over the place (not bc it sees any issue with this they just noticed you looked upsetskjdfhs)

3. Niko (he/they)

Baby's first fursona! Niko was always mostly his own character but now that I have new This is Just Me sona(s), they've been officially retired from that front <3 Niko's story is mostly planned out, I just desperately need to write it somewhere skjdbfs but the gist is that Niko works a shitty minimum wage call center job and finds meaning and love through forming a band with people he happens to meet... also there's some whistleblowing and betrayal and vague slams down out of the sky at some point <3 Niko's band doesn't have a name but they're the lead vocalist! (Niko 🤝 Blue (is blue and sings in their band)) This is a universe where everyone is cat furries simply bc I wanted to design lots of cat furries but also I haven't drawn like half of his bandmates/friends.... orz

Fun fact I found my original doodles of him in an old math notebook and apparently I seriously considered the name "chandler" for them. Help,

4. Larkspur (they/them)

Laaark my friend lark :] they're my player character for a friend's tabletop campaign! *hands you a bug* *hands you a bug* *hands-

Their design was super fun to come up with and they're fun to play as :] They were raised on a farm and have a deep love for animals (insects in particular), but they have a hard time connecting with others and understanding why people act the way they do.. They wear an eyepatch to cover their multiple other eyes bc it gives them bad sensory overload to see with them! They also spent quite a bit of time as a bounty hunter before they were blacklisted from further work bc they let a target escape on purpose... Lark is a ranger/bard and they play the hurdy-gurdy! They're dear to me and I really need to draw them more sjdfhgs

5. Chungy Fresh (she/he/they)

Chungy my belungy.... she's a mimic who spent most of his life being a chest in the temple of a forgotten goddess until they gained sentience and saw a fursuit from far away and decided yep! I'm gonna look like that Now <3 She didn't get all the details right but he's never been happier! I think Chungy spawned from me drawing a weird fox thing and simultaneously thinking "hey wouldn't it be funny if a character had a verbal text/forum signature and it was also their name" skdjfgjskdfls. Chungy is def up there with "most fun ocs of mine to draw" bc she's so Noodly and Malleable... I started playing as him in a friend group's tabletop oneshot thingy (where multiple ppl write different unrelated oneshots but we use the same characters for each session) and it has been a lot of fun!

OKAY OC UNIVERSE TIME. I call my main oc story "Voided 2" bc it takes place in the same universe as my v personal self insert oc story "Voided" that I have been working on/writing/thinking abt since late middle school... It's kinda vaguely modern fantasy/sci-fi? Main things are that there are beings born at the beginning of the universe made of pure energy called Lunoirs. There are countless universes, and each universe has Lunoirs in some capacity. They mainly exist to "keep the balance," but if you ask any specific Lunoir what that means you'll get a million different answers. Mainly they gravitate towards any life within their universe and integrate with them, observing them and protecting them from Shadows and Vacares. Shadows are the unliving souls that will eventually be reborn and reformed into a living soul inside any given universe-- they exist in the space between universes, called the Void. the Void looks different to any being that crosses into it, and it's hard to say what its "true" nature is. Vacares are Lunoirs that have had their souls corrupted and eaten, usually by other Vacares. While Shadows, being amalgamations of soul energy, are strictly neutral, Vacares seek to cause chaos and eat more Lunoir souls, increasing their numbers in a vain attempt to satisfy their endless hunger.

The Lunoir population on Earth is fairly numerous, and since Lunoirs can take on whatever form they choose, many of them live and love and have children with humans, making partial-lunoir children (physically they are nearly indistinguishable from full humans, save for longer lifespans, odd hair and eye colors, and sharper teeth. also they have semi-physical wings, but these have to be manually brought out and often ppl don't even know they have them (*cough* zephyr *cough*)

Lunoirs aren't fully immortal, but they have a different life cycle to most other forms of life. When a non-lunoir dies, their soul disintegrates and is amalgamated with the souls of others in the Void to become Shadows. When a Lunoir dies (outside of having their soul completely corrupted/destroyed), they instead go into a sort of stasis and are reborn later; they have no memories of their previous life (the ones on Earth don't, at least) and they can take on wildly different appearances.

Lunoirs and partial Lunoirs have powers in the form of energy manipulation, particularly when it comes to the energy of their own souls... They can use their souls to form weapons, mainly to fight against Vacares that tend to be immune to physical weapons. Most people have one weapon that they specialize in, but in a pinch nearly everyone can form a knife. Humans can manipulate their own soul energy in this way too, but this ability must be taught/"unlocked" by a Lunoir or a partial Lunoir first (Zephyr, at some point, did this for Thana without either of them realizing it). Lunoirs can also manipulate the energy of the very universe to create Rifts in time and space, sometimes leading between separate universes... These rifts also open of their own accord from time to time, and there's a good number of people who have been displaced from their time or even their universe by unwittingly falling into one.

Every living being has a "soul" (a collection of their life energy), and through a kind of "reaching out," one can feel/taste/smell/hear/see another's soul... every soul is a bit different, so this is an easy way to identify people even from a distance!

The Earth Lunoirs once had a country where they congregated called Saluria, which was the site of a brutal multi-year war against an army of Vacares that wanted reign over Earth... Many Lunoirs and partial Lunoirs across all of Earth's history felt drawn to Saluria, often willingly or unwillingly being rifted to the time of the war to go fight in it... Some partial Lunoirs especially believed it was their sacred duty, while others believed it was a curse leading them to inevitable death... there's even whispers that Saluria itself is alive, luring in young partial and full Lunoirs out of self-preservation.. who's to say. Ultimately, the Salurian War was a victory, but not an easy one.

Lux and Zephyr are half Lunoirs (their mom being full), and Ferdinand is 3/4ths Lunoir! Alan is a bit of a weird case but functionally he's also half Lunoir :]

This is v much simplifying Years of worldbuilding ssjhdfgjks and I can FEEL I missed a bunch of stuff but it's all very very dear 2 me :]

[possessionisamyth]

went through ur resident evil tags, saw everything and felt for the fandom part big time

what was ur experience with it like? what could u possibly NOT like about it? pour ur heart out 🙏

Every old fandom that blows up suddenly with newcomers age ranged between preteens to young 20 somethings is going to be insufferable. You get the "fandom veterans" who've been in it since the first game dropped being "well actually" about every damn thing AND the newer fans deciding to change how the narrative functions to fit into what's currently popular and modern. It's why a lot of the infighting is occurring.

I'm a newer fan, but I am older than most of the fans that have recently gotten into RE these last few years so I'm in this weird spot. I've already stated in past posts I don't give a fuck what the directors or voice actors intended to do with the characters because if the game or movie doesn't show it, then they failed in executing their goals. Leon's VA can say whatever he wants about his Cleon intentions, but since their dialogue nor the execution of it didn't ring as romantic then guess what! It's not romantic! He just has a ship preference! The directors said Death Island was supposed to be Jill's comeback, but guess who gets most of the lines? Leon! Some comeback right? Guess who FAILED in executing their intentions so it doesn't count as canon. Those guys!

I also don't care about what information is found in old game faq magazines from the early 2000s that "prove" one backstory or another. Is it interesting to now how the fandom behaved when certain games and movies dropped and their responses to it? Yes! Is it cool to look at interviews from past VA's, face claims, mocap actors, directors, and writers to understand their inspiration when it comes to creating those stories? Absolutely! Is it fun to have this knowledge because you like the media and there's a lot of fan made stuff to sift through already? Of course! Are you an asshole when you start lauding any of this information as canon without being able to point out exactly where it happens in the game I'm playing or movie I'm watching?

Yes.

Yes, you're an asshole.

I've fumbled with my own takes and interpretations. Nobody's perfect. I get information wrong sometimes and end up doubling down when I should step away. We've all done it. Sometimes the block button hits you before you can apologize, and you just gotta live with it. I interpret things differently in and out of the moment. Everyone does. Why else would there be a whole subset of people who market Piers as this really important character for shipping reasons but then decide to magically absolve him of the very real and dangerous power he had over an amnesiac Chris in RE6? Why else would there be a lack of people giving Ethan the same smoke they give Mia for not viewing Eveline as a child but a thing that needed to be killed? Why else would there be people who treat Leon like a poorly written woman character by giving him a pussy and making him a crybaby bottom who needs to be babysat and comforted and gets pregnant by Chris or Krauser, but there's also strange lack of any trans woman narratives for him despite many artists or authors being trans themselves? Different interpretations is why! :) (Side note: I love trans man Leon narratives. Most of you do not write him the way he is once you've given him a pussy tho.)

I haven't left the fandom. Like with all of my media interests, after the initial boom where it consumes me is gone, I just go to my little corner and make things I like with the hope I run into a few people who also like it. I'm still in the tags looking for news updates, finding art that I like, and skimming past other people's perspectives on the story. I'm also going to the biohazard event in USJ either this month or next month.

I don't know if you wanted a vent post with like a numbered list of issues I have with the fandom. Since you've read through my RE stuff, you've probably seen me touch on all my issues with fanon in passing at least once or twice. If you're looking for something more specific, you'll have to clarify tho. Thanks for the message!

[lemondonutsfromcirclek]

Time for a couple of my own TAWOG Hot Takes!!

Basically uh, I'm bored, TAWOG is playing in the background, and it's too dark to draw bacause it's 4 in the morning and I haven't slept. So let's go!! 1: Leslie, Masami, Juke & Bobert actually had *really good* human designs in The Inquisition. Kind of a shame to watch them go, though the way the animators un-humanized Leslie was pretty awesome. 2: Leslie is absolute GOLD. I mean, good writing, funny episodes, and did anyone else notice that he was in the treehouse with the girls in the first season (forgot episode name)? I thought that was a nice little detail, and it may have been because it wasn't decided if he was going to be male or female yet, but I still think it's a nice little touch that honestly is one of the reasons I like Leslie. 3: The Fury is... overrated. The animation is good and all, and I suppose Yuki's pretty cool, but... it's just missing something to me. Also, at the time of writing this, I can't guarantee it won't be the only actual hot take. 4. Whew, uhh... I think and very well suspect that Penny was *meant* to be metaphorical to being trans. I mean, the shell was kind of like the closet, and then she "came out of her shell..." could very well be a metaphor to being bolder, and more open about herself, but hhhhhilikethefirstthingtoomuch 5. They made Rob too smart for a 13 year old. How, exactly, does a kid, a *literal child,* have a major in Canadian History? And know how to blow up a dang bus? thats all dont burn me on a stake because of these goofy ahh opinions that i wrote at one in the morning

[therevengeoffrankenstein]

for pride month, i figured i'd do a non-exhaustive list of people/looks that have given me gender envy and inspired my sense of style as a transmasculine fellow.

this post is about to be long and also likely 'cringe' (which is dead, so i do not let it dictate my decisions, but just in case a non-mutual reads this and wants to send me hate-mail for my 'bad' taste: I KNOW.) since it includes several people i worshiped as a tweenager. if you don't wanna see me talking about five billion emo men, then you probably don't wanna read this :^)

mulan (1998) was one of my first experiences with gender-nonconformity and experimentation. her dissatisfaction with living as a woman and her shame with feeling that way deeply resonated with me, and her transition into ping lit up light bulbs in my tiny mind, as well as the scene in which she is outed against her will due to an injury.

-

from a very young age, i've always kinda wanted to embody the swagger of freddie mercury. i would say that as a 6 or 7-ish year old i experienced my first bout of true gender envy over him. i wished i could look and sound like a man because of him. i ended up shoving down these feelings for many years due to internalized shit and outside influences. yet he still remains forever in my heart as a major influence both as an artist, an outfit composer, and a person.

-

eddie van halen is cool as shit. idk man. i dig his style. these patch work pants did irreparable damage to my psyche.

-

ryan ross was a big idol of mine as a tween and still continues to inspire me to this day. i wished i could do my makeup like him and have his fop-y floppy 60s mop cut, which was probably the beginning of my obsession with having hair that looks Like That.

*bren.don. ur.ie gets a dishonorable mention here bc i don't wanna talk about him but when i was 13 i also wanted his p.o. era mop sooo bad like soo bad i was planning on getting my hair cut like that for real but instead life happened and i haven't had my hair cut since like 2019 and now i've committed to it being a mile long.

-

pete wentz is at the forefront of writers that i would say have influenced my works. his influence is just about inseparable from anything i've done since 2018 at least. he just, like, gets me, you know? including, of course, his fashion sense, which lingers still through my daily wardrobe.

on the right, i added a pic of him recently that made me lose my mind.

-

i'm grouping william beckett and gabe saporta together because both are scene fellows who had lesser but still notable affects on me. the former's hair and the latter's sense of style have stayed with me all these years for a reason, and that reason is because i wish i could look like them.

-

renfield is just like me for real so of course i wish i could steal dwight frye's gender. the suspenders plus the vacant, hazy look in his eyes did things to me.

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the man, the myth, the legend, my most special of interests, mr sir peter wilton cushing obe. if i love him, and i feel unloved, then i must act like him and sound like him and look like him to feel truly loved, right? because i want someone to love me to the extent i love him? because i hate myself so much? it's psychosexual to me in a way but also 100% from my heart. i need to look like him ^

he cracked my egg. which i will be getting more into in the next entry. but! basically i realized that maybe it isn't normal to want to look exactly like a man, deeper voice and flatter chest and all. and then i was like what is stopping me from being trans actually besides other people's disapproval, which i had at that point stopped letting get in my way. so trans ellie canon and real from this point forward.

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sherlock holmes is an entirely separate entry on this list than peter cushing because sherlock is a fictional character that has been portrayed in many different mediums and by many different actors, many of whom i at least kinda want to look like.

but most of all, i want to be like him, the idea of sherlock holmes. a protector who saves the meek and weak and who persecutes the oppressors. he is good, he is just, and he is loved by nearly all. also he is a major fucking nutjob, like me. he inspires me so much. this yearning helped me realize who i wanted to be, who i am. it makes my heart glow with hope and pride knowing that someone who so obviously has so much 'wrong' (wrong like me) with them can not just be a hero, but also one of the most definitive heroes in history.

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adam ant's gnc swag.... idk man he ignited my historical obsession with highwaymen.

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final thoughts:

i am so happy to be a trans fag ! my life is so much better since i realized that i am a boy ! 🥰🥰🥰 i am trying to experiment more with my appearance and i am loving it.

[rogueddie]

Omg!!! 21 tattoos!! That's amazing I'm so jealous and so happy for you at the same time. I've also watched waaaay too many tattoo tours but it's just so cool and fun and easy way to obsess over tattoos and I'm happy I'm not the only one doing that. I'm curious, do you have a preferred style? Like, neo-traditional, old school, blackwork, fine-line, realistic, sketch (that's not an official style, I think, that's just what I call tattoos that take on a more drawing-like look because I don't know if it has a name) etc. Or are you someone who doesn't look at styles but just focus on the tattoo you're going to get?

When I got my first tattoo I preferred fine-line and sketch-like styles (That look like drawings) and I didn't really care about or looked into the specific styles, I just picked the tattoo shop from reviews and the way I liked their website was presented. But now, 5 years after my first one I actually really really love old school and neo-traditional (Which is funny because I couldn't stand old school 5 years ago and now I'm in love with it, though I haven't got a tattoo in that style yet)

The leg Hermes staff tattoo you described sounds so cool!

Yes! You can ask about my tattoos. As I said, I only have 4 which is a major bummer. The first one I got is just the word "Hope" written in cursive, nestled in one side of my hip where I cut myself for a period of time. When I turned 18 I'd just come out of a really rough time of my life, a really hard year where I relapsed on self-harm, so when I managed to stop again and I started feeling better, I got the word Hope as my first tattoo because it felt right and as something to hold onto if things went bad again (I'd been thinking about getting a tattoo since I was 16). The word was made too small though so it doesn't really look that nice anymore. But that's okay, I don't need it for the purpose I got it for anymore

I have a gymnastics pose in fine-line on my upper arm. The lines all look like they were drawn in one continuous, never-ending line so there are a lot of swoops. Like a drawing in cursive, if you can describe it like that. Then I have a typewriter on my forearm, which I got made last August. And my latest one, which was made through several sessions throughout september-november-december is a Phoenix half-sleeve. It ends by my elbow where there's a peony (directly on top of my elbow, which was a fun experience). It's absolutely my favourite one. It's big and cool and epic. Made in Japanese style. It's basically an homage to my identity as a trans and nonbinary person. I call him Felix (phelix, if I'm feeling punny). I felt like he ought to have a name since he's a creature. And it's a he/him even though hes a representation of my trans identity and my gender identity is 100% agender (no gender, none whatsoever). I hope to get the half-sleeve into a full sleeve sometime in the future

- tattoo anon 🦇

I think the only preference I really have is for the patchwork sleeve look. I do try to keep things consistent though; my left arm and leg are all traditional/neo-traditional, but my right arm is a little chaotic, less tattoo style and more aesthetic (mostly solid blackwork).

The Hermes staff tatt is definitely a cooler than I can make it sound, it's the best idea I've ever came up with and my artist made it even better. It's based on the version of the myth where Hermes finds two snakes fighting and stops them by putting his staff between them.

Your tattoos sound really cool! Especially the phoenix, that sounds SO good! And the gymnast one too; I know exactly what you mean by a drawing in cursive, they always look beautiful.

[astriiformes]

For the writers ask meme: 1, 2, 17, 35

1 - Do you know how you want the story to end when you start, or are you just stumbling through the figurative wilderness hoping to find a road?

I usually know how stories will end, but not necessarily where, if that makes sense. There have been exceptions in both cases, but usually I have some idea of how the central crisis will be resolved and general emotional beats I want the ending to have, but not exactly what that's going to look like. The former gives me something specific to work towards and lends emotional coherence to the work as a whole, but even when I'm working towards a particular ending scene, I don't always have a totally clear picture of it.

Like, I knew "Several Witches Are Typing" would end with the team getting back to Willow's house and her dads discovering them, but hadn't necessarily fleshed out everything beyond that when I started the story. Sometimes I'll even have really specific details pinned down but be missing another big, important chunk (by the time I actually started writing "Aurum Horizontale" I knew Keyleth was going to give Percy the friendship bracelet made from the fragments of his exploded gun, but wasn't entirely sure if Percy was going to leave with Vox Machina or not -- an uncertainty that I ultimately realized he would have himself, so I dug into that).

I don't like having nothing though. The stories I don't have a clear ending for are also, not coincidentally often the stories that end up abandoned. Every time I think my excitement at the start is enough to propel me through, I end up being wrong.

On the flip side, the stories I do have endings in mind for are the ones I hang onto for years and years, and am confident I have a shot at actually finishing even when I've taken long hiatuses. I know exactly how "I Breathed a Song Into the Air" is going to end, as well as the transgender Marty McFly WIP I've had in my drafts for ages. I also have a pretty solid idea of the ending of my trans Caleb Wittebane fic ("Go Down to the Netherworld, Plant Grapes) and the TOH Sherlock Holmes pastiche that I haven't even officially started writing yet. And I'm working on defining the ending to the longer of my two Pentiment WIPs ("Beharren ist Eine Kunst") for exactly this reason, so hopefully that can lend anyone interested in those stories some hope even if my updates are uh, inconsistent.

2 - Talk about a notable time a narrative or character has looked you dead in the eyes and said “fuck your plan, here’s what we’re actually doing.”

Usually this happens because they've decided to make the story longer (or I've misjudged how long a scene would actually be...)

Unfortunately the best example I had of this was a fic I'm still contemplating ways to rework -- I had a oneshot I was working on mid-S2/S3 TOH hiatus that collided with another idea of mine and had the potential to be a really interesting, long story, but ultimately hit me during something of a writing slump, and the show restarted before I got much of it written. I'd love to at least clean up the original oneshot into something postable one day, but would have to scrap a lot of my favorite parts of the longer story now since I don't think it can be repurposed into something I like.

Alas. It was a really cool thing to have happen (writing two things at once and realizing there was enough fascinating thematic overlap to turn it into a single story if I played my cards right) and I hope someday it happens with a fic I can actually get off the ground.

17 - What is your favorite line you’ve ever written?

A more recent example, but I'm awfully fond of this one from my Pentiment exchange fic, "Long Upon the Land" (Paul, my boy Paul)

It wasn’t fair, and the older he grew, the more he found the gentleness and piety he’d always tried to cultivate tested by the bitter serpent that had curled itself around his heart, whispering that one day he ought to spit back “Fathers, provoke not your children to indignation, lest they be discouraged,” with a less-than-righteous venom the next time he was told obedience was a virtue.

35 - Tell us about a character who’s very different than you who you love a whole lot

A recent one, but I am extremely fond of Magdalene Druckeryn, even as someone who is a lot more like Andreas myself. She's so incredibly stubborn and plucky, an a lovely example of how to do female protagonists in historical fiction that are constrained by the position of women in society but don't let themselves be completely limited by it (and, have lovely and encouraging relationships with other women of the same time period instead of falling prey to the idea that "interesting" historical women have to be an exception). The game gave her such incredibly demanding shoes to fill as an Act III protagonist and she does so wonderfully. I lack her particular brand of snark and courage -- my own looks quite different -- but I love her, and I'm loving having a fic project where I get to write her, too.

[haneys]

I have new ocs btw lol and once again they came to me inna dream. breezy surferbro bleached blonde. roots showing five o'clock shadow on. flip flops on. Hawaiian shirt flaying open. corny top scars tatts. he really dgaf. trans biaro. he's just kinds letting the days go by chilling and being dope. no the sharpest tool in the shed but he emits chill vibes plus is a handyman so ppl vibe with him. big family. there's also this other guy who's kinda a rich fail son that's being very burned out by the whole yoire gonna take iver the company from ur dad so now ur basicislly being ceo junior and trying to learn how to not tank it. and there's also the dad. the dad was like the fucking vampire dad from hotel transylvania fucking help me. surfbro and failson met for a brief moment because the Richfam were doing some how about we all spend a day like Nirmal People I prommy were not detached from how normal people live trust me. and then they were having like the worst day in the beach the dad was really like well this fucking sucks while the mom (I want her so bad) was like meh but also thought it was funny to see the dad be mad as hell. failson before all that was like yeah I'm straight I'm just so busy with the whole ceo thing I don't have the time to date and think abt women👍 and then he ran into the surfbro amd he was like oh I am a homo. cool. this is not confusing at all and also I'm gonna behave so normal and natural rn. surely. and it was like the worst floppiest try at flirting ever. and I mean to be fair he kinda just had a personal revelation and also tried to date like probably once in his life but still it was really funny to see. surfbrobdidnt even register he was being hit on. he was like you're kinda weird lol let's hang out. failson had like heart eyes aura the entire time. the dad was like YOURE FUCKING KIDDING ME.???? he really didn't like that. not even the fact that turns out his son is gay he dgaf it was just the person he chose. like litersly super diving behind a McDonald's wpuld get someone better. he was seething and malding. the mom thought it was VERY VERY funny exactly because he was malding. but oh well the day comes to and end and thay all can move on surely right. 🤨 wrong. anyway to make it short failson gets surfbro to work for him, mostly secretary style, since he was looking for a more stable job than his odd jobs and repair work around the neighborhood. failson is having a great time. the mom really likes surfbro and thinks he's funny to have around. all the staff loves him. the dad tries to kill him. I mean no like litersly he's so mad 80% of the dream was dad teying to kill him looney tunes style he tried to drop a piano on him. he tried to flatten him with a mullet. the got surfbro escaping a big rolling stone. litersly cartoon saw traps. but surfbro has maxed out luck Stat he isn't even AVARE. failson is like hey I know my dad doesn't like u too much I hope he haven't been giving u any problems and surfbro is like nah it's ok 👍 unaware there's an angry lion waiting for him in the break room but becayse if bizzare chain if events he ends up safe and sound and the lion mauls the dad etc. it was so so so great. genuelly the dad surfbro stuff was better to me than the gay love winning thing. truly the dream of all time