simon is mostly unsure of what to do whenever he comes home from a deployment. too tense to be touched, too quiet for a conversation — he simply likes to linger by your side like the ghost he is, silently taking in your actions to forget the grotesque imagery etched into his brain.
it’s weird, really, he despises it. despises how he just shuts up and doesn’t bother to say a word except some irritated greeting, desperately ignoring the ache in his heart, knowing that his lack of communication does hurt you, whether you show it or not.
everything is mostly a blur for him after missions, fake, just a reality that seemed too good to be true. a nice home and a loving partner? who was he kidding?
it was hard to ground him, as if he was still in the war, hands trembling and itching to do something, anything.
though soon enough, after a day or two if you were lucky, simon would calm down and let your arms wrap around him once again, cherishing in the warmth he had been longing for so long, yet had been top terrified to touch. terrified that he might hurt you. no words were exchanged, just him burying his face into your chest and letting your fingers scratch his scalp.
Why does anyone still legitimately think Malleus is emo sadboi hates everyone wallows in his despair for breakfast when his plushies look like this -> 😃