#he's turned on by emotional intimacy try and change my mind

[cosmickaz]

couple days ago, I read a fic with Wrecker going crazy bc Reader was wearing yoga pants and i would like to raise you this: the exact opposite.

Wrecker seeing you in the most worn-out, washed-out, painted-with-stains-of-unclear-origins, definitely not fitting you correctly, “just good enough for the corner store down the road but only when it’s dark out and you don’t have to worry about running into anyone you know”-clothes and suddenly he’s having a hard time breathing and his hands are tingling with the urge to grab you. Mans almost pops a boner right then and there and he has to stop himself from thinking too much about what it means because he never would have thought someone like you could feel this comfortable around someone like him. It’s like he just realized you actually feel at home around him and his brothers and now he has to take a minute to calm down and go sit with his feelings a little before continuing with the program. 

Between your armor pieces, your regular training clothes and the occasional flash of bare skin when you got injured, not to mention a shared living space, there really wasnt all too much you guys havent seen of each other. 

Of course, Wrecker hadn't looked. Well, he had, at first, really couldn't have helped it, but it was always so fleeting and the context had never been even remotely sensual, so neither of you had payed it any mind. Until one day, he did.

It had snuck up on him, you had snuck up on him so quickly, he never stood a chance.

He might have been used to seeing you in your armor, but the sight of you without them had his chest tightening and his palms sweating.

You looked so.. comfortable.

It wasn't the civilian clothing he'd seen you in before, the one you wore when you needed to blend in, or move with the mobility of lighter materials. It wasn't even the few pieces you'd shown Omega when she had asked you about your life before the war. You pulled them out of your pack and pointed out all the details of the design, conjuring up memories and the idea of the person you had been before. Wrecker had liked those, he listened to your stories and wondered how a bunch of clothes could say so much about the person wearing them. You had laughed and said how the markings on their armor was kind of the clone-version of fashion and all he could do was stare at you and try not to let his mouth hang open.

The clothes you were wearing now didn't have any notable designs on them. They didn't even fit you properly. The shirt was loose and the pants a tad too long and it was clear that none of the pieces were designed with any real purpose in mind. To someone like himself, a clone, that idea was entirely unfamiliar.

It hit him then, the thought that somehow, somewhere along the line, you’d made this place your home.

[violetsiren90]

Arms Around Me

(A Light of Your Eyes universe drabble)

Pairing: best friend's younger brother!Changbin x f!Reader

Genre: drabble; established (secret) relationship; smut/fluff/angst

Summary: Three months after you show up on your best friend's doorstep to find her brother instead, Changbin thinks it's time to let Nari know that things have changed.

Content warnings: 18+ (minors, DNI); explicit sexual content; seated cowgirl; intimate sex; eye contact; unprotected vaginal sex; internal ejaculation; cock warming; praise kink - because we all know he has one, okay??; showering together; a little sexy joking; nudity; kissing and embracing; teasing (non sexual); mentions of reader's hair being washed; FLUFF 🥰; some guilt and anxiety; tough conversations; Binnie goes off script (but he's also just the sweetest and realest); Binnie down BAD; a pretty intense argument; cursing in an argumentative context; minor panic attack symptoms and disassociation; crying (hurt/comfort, honestly), emotional intimacy and vulnerability for the win 💕

Word Count: ~5000.

Author's Note: I did NOT expect to drop this today of all days, but here it is nonetheless! You know, just in case you needed any more reason to lose your mind over this man...🤪. It turned out longer and angstier than I initially imagined, but once I started they took over entirely and now we have the second part of their little love story! I apologize in advance for how many times I mentioned Changbin's big buff arms, they are my current Roman Empire, and I will honestly never be normal about how much this guy makes me wanna just bite him.

To anyone who reads, thank you! I hope this story brings you something soft and sweet.

And as always, if no one has told you yet today, please know that you're loved and worthy of love! 🧜‍♀️💜

“Look at me, beautiful,” Changbin’s breathless voice pleads as your eyes flutter open from where he’s tilted your head back to take you in.

His hand cradles the back of your neck with a tender strength as it lolls against his grip with each roll of his hips where they press up to meet yours. From under heavy lids, you drink him in.

His handsome face, inches from yours, is flushed with his efforts. Thick dark hair clings to his damp brow above hooded eyes that look as desperate as you feel. Your arms are curled around his neck, your soft body flush with his sturdy one where he sits on the edge of the bed wrapped in you. Arms clinging to his shoulders, legs bent at the knee on either side of his hips as he grinds up into where you stretch around the thickness of him. Your quads burn as you raise your hips the few inches you’re still able before letting your ass fall with a slap to his muscular thighs again and again.

He must be close, you think, as you try your best through your fucked out haze to focus on the intensity of his gaze - he always wants them when he comes, your eyes on his. Your lips are parted by a groan as his left hand leaves your waist to splay over your lower abdomen between your bodies, this thumb pressed to your clit. You’re close too.

“Bin…” you whimper softly, and he pulls you to his lips, salty with sweat.

You gasp into his mouth, swallowing each other’s cries as the knot in your core bursts and you come, squeezing around his cock. He follows you over the edge, releasing inside you with a cry as you quiver against him, parted lips still hovering over his own.

You kiss him, sweet and slow and spent, and he flips you onto the bed so his body lays over yours, still inside you though growing soft. His weight presses you into the mattress and you sigh, so utterly at ease, body and soul, when he shields you from the world. His head raises from where it collapsed to your breast and you take his face in your hands as he beams down at you with twinkling dark eyes and his little crooked grin.

“Hi,” you smile up at him, stroking over his full cheeks with your thumbs.

“You came with me again,” he murmurs, still half out of breath. Your lips stretch into a smirk.

“Can’t help it, you’re too good at getting me there,” you answer, leaning up for another kiss before nipping at his plump bottom lip. 

His smile widens and he drops his face to nuzzle his nose into your neck below your ear. 

“I’m too good, huh?” his voice comes in a raspy hum against your skin. You drag your fingers through his damp, curling locks.

“You know you are, Seo Changbin. You know what you do to me,” you chide.

“Say it anyway.”

You smile, your eyes pressing into crescent moons, and you tilt your lips toward his ear.

“You make me feel like nobody else could ever,” you whisper, your mouth ghosting his lobe.

He twitches inside you. You chuckle quietly as you press another kiss to his neck.

“God, I’m so lucky!” you murmur teasingly, but he presses himself up to meet your eyes, not a bit of jest in the ones now gazing down at you.

His beautiful face is grave and lovely as his eyes trace yours with a reverence that only ever seems to grow with time.

“Nah,” he shakes his head, bringing the backs of his fingers to gently drag across your cheek, “I’m the lucky one.”

Your breath catches in your chest.

It’s been three months since you lost a dozen games of Super Smash Bros Brawl and your whole entire heart. Three months of rediscovering yourself in the unfamiliar and beautiful context of deep and sincere adoration. Three months of giddy laughter and quiet vulnerability and the safety of strong, gentle arms.

Three months of heaven.

Three months of Changbin.

“I have a confession to make,” his voice comes from over your shoulder and the patter of water against the shower floor.

You hum in response, eyes closed as his fingers lather shampoo against your scalp, filling the humid air with the scent of lemongrass and lavender. His other arm is wrapped around your waist, pulling you close so that your bare back leans flush with his chest.

“…I told Chris.”

Your eyes open, droplets clinging to your lashes like dew.

“About us?”

His hand skims up your side and moves to cup your forehand and tilt it back as you feel the warm spray of the showerhead through your tresses. When the suds are gone he turns you around, hands on your hips. He looks like the cat who caught the canary as he nods and smirks, and you can’t help but smile yourself, even as you attempt to harness an expression of disapproval.

“How’d that happen?”

“He basically called me out on it. Said only one thing could make me so stupidly happy.”

“Mind-blowing sex?” you murmur, pressing your slick skin to his.

“You,” he corrects, his eyes glimmering as he leans down to press wet lips to yours. When he pulls away, you consider for a moment.

“You mean…he knew you liked me? Before?”

“You think my best buddy wouldn’t?”

A pang of guilt twists in your stomach at the remark. Your best friend is still very much in the dark about…well, everything where you and her brother were concerned. You chew your bottom lip as he helps you out of the shower. Absently reaching for the towel he holds out, you blink into focus as your hand clutches at air when it’s drawn back out of your reach.

“What…hey, why are you…?” you glance at Changbin, who is now holding the towel over his head, a victorious look on his features as his eyes rove your form.

“I like you naked. Five more minutes!” He whines with a chuckle as you swat his bulging pectoral and snatch the towel cradling his hips to wrap around your own damp body.

“You’re ridiculous,” you grumble with a smirk, but you adore it - how taken he is with every part of you. How he always wants to touch you, hold you, be close to you in any way he can. And how he never shies away from saying just exactly how you make him feel. 

Though, you’ve noticed a shift in that particular respect over the last few weeks.

You watch him rumple the towel over his hair.

Sometimes he holds something back. You can always see it, lingering behind his eyes and at the corners of this mouth. You can feel it on the tips of his fingers and at the end of each sweet kiss. But it’s grown with time, and you feel the weight of it each time his eyes rest on you when he thinks you’re not aware. 

You suppose it’s only natural that there should still be some mystery between you. Even after all the years you’ve known him, these were uncharted waters, and ones you’d strayed into more than a little clandestinely.

Keeping your relationship secret has had its benefits. It’s given you time to grow without the judgements and perceptions of others playing a part in your gentle discovery of one another. It’s also taken the pressure off of things - not having to answer questions from anyone you haven’t even had the chance to ask yourselves. And it was fucking sexy, to be honest, all the sneaking around. Inconvenient at times to be sure, but still deliciously indulgent to the rebel in you both. 

But as you watch him open the mirrored cabinet to grab the toothbrush he keeps in your bathroom your heart skips a beat and you wonder if it’s time the jig is up.

You settle behind him, slipping your arms around his middle and resting the side of your head against his broad back.

“What did Chris have to say? About me and you?” you ask softly.

Changbin spits into the sink.

“He was stoked for us.”

You smile.

“He did ask if Nari knew.”

You sigh.

“I think she should by now,” he says, turning to speak over his shoulder. “I think it’s time.”

You hum into his skin.

“The longer we wait, the harder it’s going to be. A few months of privacy is alright, we’re still in the clear.”

He’s right. You know he is. You press your damp forehead into his back and sigh.

“It’ll be fine,” he says around his toothbrush.

“She’s gonna freak,” you groan.

“She’ll get over it.”

You sincerely fucking hope so. The faucet squeaks shut and he turns, wrapping you in his big arms, to press a minty kiss to your lips.

“Stop fretting, beautiful,” his dark eyes sparkle down at you, “We’re gonna be okay. Nari too.”

Your heart melts as it settles and his mouth seeks yours again. Yeah. You were gonna be just fine.

You take a deep breath as you ring the bell, and you look down at your feet, shuffling them nervously as you wait for Nari’s door to open. You think back to that night, to Changbin standing on the doorstep with a dish towel over his shoulder. You think of everything that’s changed, and you hope that your best friend can see the beauty in what they’ve become.

You had both wanted to tell Nari yourselves, but you ultimately decided that together would be best. You arranged a hang-out and she suggested dinner at her place. Changbin would show up too, and you’d drop the news after spending some time together.

You raise your eyes.

“Hey, girl!” Nari chimes as the door swings open for you. She’s in joggers and a tank top and she eyes your sundress with an impressed air. “You look cute…” she murmurs as she walks back into the living room and collapses into an armchair. “Oh, and Bin showed up so he’s having dinner with us, alright?”

You nod, swallowing as you dump your purse and sink onto the couch.

“So you feel like Thai or - hey, what’s wrong?” Nari frowns as she looks up from her phone, eyes darting over your face.

Dammit. You shake your head and shoot her a smile. 

“Nothing. Thai sounds great.”

You chew your lip. Your heart is pounding in your chest. You look at Nari. She’s so tiny, but she’s got more fire than anyone you know. You know that whatever happens, this won’t break your bond - nothing could - so why do you feel like you’re about to hurl? You glance over your shoulder, not seeing any sign of Changbin, and you turn back to look at your friend as she scrolls, legs tossed over the arm of her seat.

“Hey, Nari…” 

She hums, not looking up.

“Nari.”

She looks at you and for a moment you just hold her gaze. Things are about to change, and you’re scared - no, you’re terrified - so you just memorize the feeling of the space between you and everything it's been until now. She swings her feet forward and abandons her phone.

“Dude, what’s wrong?” she presses, her pretty features schooled in an expression of concern.

“Look…just know that…” you begin to stammer. And then you hear him.

You usually hear him before you see him. The deep resonance of his voice calling through the house from the garage door. He emerges from the hall, wiping oil stains from his hands with worn cloth. He’s in a white tee shirt and jeans. He’s got a smudge on his cheek. He’s adorable and handsome and you have to stop yourself from running to him.

“Someone just blue torqued your oil cap on, that was all. Next time y—” he catches sight of you on the couch and his eyes go softer and warmer and the smirk on his lips is almost bashful. 

“Hey, beautiful,” he greets you, and your eyes go wide.

“What the fuck?” Nari says, looking up from her phone at her brother as he takes a seat next to you on the couch. 

“Seriously?” you whisper at him in pleading distress, “That’s not how this was supposed to go.”

“What I was saying,” Changbin gives you a reassuring smile and continues, abandoning the rag on his knee to take your hand in his, “Is that whoever changed your oil screwed the cap on too tight.” He’s looking his sister dead in the eye with an air of total placidity and just a hint of defiance.

You whip your head toward your friend, who has frozen where she sits, staring with narrowed eyes at your joined hands.

“Why are you doing that? Stop it.” The tone of her voice seems to offer you one last chance to pull away from him and say what she’s witnessing isn’t what it looks like. What it is.

“What the hell am I looking at right now?” she mutters lowly, her tone just short of acidic.

“We wanted to talk to you…” you press out, not meeting her eyes, “To tell you…”

“We?” she snaps incredulously.

“Hey,” Changbin intercedes, “Let's not lose our heads…”

She stands and scoffs.

“Lose our heads?!” she grits out, “Have you lost your fucking minds?” She blinks, glancing around in disbelief. She looks at you, her face etched with anger and confusion. “He is not the guy you’ve been…” She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.

You take your shot in the moment of silence that follows.

“It’s not like that, I swear. We didn’t mean for it to happen but—"

“But you got dumped and decided that my brother’s dick was the cure for your sorrows?! Unbelievable.”

“Yah, don’t bring my dick into this!” Changbin protests.

“You are the one that did that, buddy!” she shouts, hands balled into fists.

You barely hear them. You’ve gone mute since her last remark and your ears ring with it. Is that what she thinks of you? Lonely and desperate and selfish? Doubt starts to tighten like a coil in your chest, a little voice you haven’t heard from in a while whispering that she’s right. Your breath starts to come quickly as Changbin and Nari’s voices ring in the air above you.

It isn’t until you feel two strong hands on your shoulders that you realize you’ve spaced out.

“Hey,” he murmurs, brow drawn in concern, “Hey, look at me.”

You blink up at him as your pulse hammers in your ears.

“It’s okay, hey…” he says, pulling you against his chest and you sigh softly. You see Nari for a split second over his shoulder before you shut your eyes, catching her expression waver for a moment as she regards you in his arms.

“This isn’t gonna fly,” Changbin says firmly over his shoulder, and then he pulls you back to meet your eyes. “Let us talk for a second, yeah? Just for a minute. Can you wait in the guest room?” he asks gently.

Your mouth is dry, but you try to answer him.

“I…this is about me too, I…”

“I know,” he interrupts you softly, “But just trust me on this. Just a couple minutes. Okay?”

You nod, and as you back away from him, you glance at Nari. She’s sunk back into her chair and if her body could speak it would tell you to get the fuck out. She’s turned as far away from you as humanly possible without facing the backrest, her hands white-knuckling the arm. You let out a shuddering breath, willing yourself not to let your adrenaline swallow you whole as you head for the guest bed. Silence hangs over the house, your blood still rushing as you click the door shut and sink back against it. After a few moments you hear Nari’s voice. The Seo siblings never did know the definition of the word quiet, and you should move away, you know, but human nature prevails and you tilt your ear against the door.

“My best friend, Bin? Out of everyone in the goddamned world?” she mutters, her voice cold.

“Why is that a bad thing? Shouldn’t you be happy for us?” he insists. “And don’t cut her down like that, you’re gonna hurt her.”

“The truth hurts sometimes.”

“Not like that, it shouldn't.”

You hear her sigh in exasperation.

“We’re family, Bin. We’re part of each other’s lives, for good! When this ends in a fucking dumpster fire what then?”

“That’s not gonna happen.”

“As if you can guarantee that?! Don’t let some schoolboy fantasy ruin—"

“That’s not what this is. I care for her.”

Nari lets out a huff.

“Yeah, so end it then. This isn’t right.”

“No. The only thing that could ever convince me to let her go would be if she wanted to walk away from this,” he counters firmly.

“You know, she might.”

“Stop it.”

“Bin, you don’t know her as well as I do! She just got out of a really serious relationship - they were probably gonna get married. Can you see that happening with you? Marriage? A family? This is a fling for her.”

“No, Nari.”

“A young guy giving her attention when she’s low?” Nari’s voice goes high and tight. “Fuck! I hate this for both of you! It needs to stop before you really hurt each other.”

Changbin is silent for a long moment. When he speaks again, his voice shakes a little, and it makes you want to cry.

“It’s too late for that. If she leaves it will tear my heart out, and you know what? I don’t even care. Because she was dying inside. That asshole was killing her. And she let me hold her. She let me tell her she was beautiful and strong, and she believed me. So even if this has an expiration date for her…fuck, I’ll just be grateful for the rest of my life that she let me be the one to pick her up and put her on her feet.”

The room goes silent as the words that fell from his mouth sink in, and when his voice cuts through the thick of it again, you can hear his wet eyes and drawn brow.

“Nari, I love her.”

Your heart stops in your chest.

“Changbin…” Nari’s voice is softer in its surprise. 

You hear him draw in a long breath and sniff.

“Does she…fuck. Does she feel that way too?” she asks, much more gently.

“If she does, she’ll tell me when she’s ready.”

Another silence stretches between them.

“Shit…” Nari whispers, and you hear her get up and cross the room.

When no one speaks for a long time, you peep through the crack in the door to see your tiny best friend with her arms wrapped around her brother, and his face buried in her shoulder.

And suddenly, they’re twelve years younger, and Nari is crying on your bed - something she never does - telling you that Changbin blames himself for their parents’ divorce. Your ears echo with her worries, after a few drinks one night in grad school, about how her little brother carries a childishness with him because emotionally he never got to be one, always supporting their mother’s cares and then trying to be the man of the house when their father left, mourning that she doesn’t know how to set him free of it. You think back to three months ago on the floor of Nari’s living room where he saw you and held you as you shattered.

You catch your own gaze in the mirror above the bed across the room and you want to smash it to pieces - its reflection just another selfish person indulging in this precious soul’s exhausted strength and resilience while he continues to refuse himself permission to be weak.

Your purse and phone are still in the living room but you don’t care. You slip out and through the garage. You walk. And then you run.

You notice, when you come to a little park a few blocks away that your cheeks are wet. Trudging through the grass and onto the playground, you huddle yourself into the mouth of a tube slide.

You’re not going to hurt him anymore...and maybe Nari's right. Maybe caring for him means it means wounding him one last time.

After crying into your knees for what feels like an eternity, you hear the wood chips crunching under heavy steps.

You look up and see Changbin, hands tucked into the pockets of his jeans as he approaches you. He crouches down in front of you, close enough that his thighs brush your knees where they hook over the edge of the slide, and hands you your phone.

“You took off,” he murmurs, sounding a little wounded. “Don’t leave your phone like that, it’s not safe.”

You pull a hand over your swollen eyes.

“Sorry,” you whisper pathetically.

“Come on,” he tugs you up and out of the slide, but you don’t make it far. You collapse onto the low platform of the jungle gym.

“I…I can’t do this to you,” you choke.

“Do what?” he murmurs, sinking down beside you and pulling you into him.

You sob.

“Nari’s right, Bin. I’m so s-selfish. You’re always everyone’s r-rock, even when you shouldn’t have to be. Always the s-strong one. And I…I’m just dumping all my p-problems on you just like everyone else…I…”

He pulls your face back, hands on either side of your head as he gazes down at you, his brow drawn and his eyes searching your face.

“You think that’s what this is?” he asks in a raspy whisper. His lips curve up at one side and he huffs. “Dumping your problems on me?” He shakes his head. “Do you even realize…”

You blink up at him, sniffing. He draws a deep breath, his eyes flicking skyward before they meet yours again.

“When my dad left, who’d come over after school? Who brought me a candy bar and sat on my desk in my room and drove me crazy while I was trying to sulk over algebra homework every damn day for two straight weeks?” 

Your lips quirk into a ghost of a smile, you’d forgotten about that.

“And then when I graduated,” he continues, “And my family didn’t want me to chase music,” he runs a thumb over your cheek, “Who told me that they believed in me? That if anyone could do it, I could?”

You sigh, and bite your lip to repress another sob as you lean into his touch.

“Who is the prettiest, funniest, kindest woman in the world, who for some reason wants me to hold her and kiss her? Tells me her secrets…makes me feel…” his big strong hands are trembling as they cradle your face, “like I’m already the man I want to be?”

Fat tears are rolling down your cheeks.

“Bin…” you whisper in a desperate plea as you lean up to kiss him.

He presses his lips to yours again and again. 

“You’re not a burden…”

A kiss. 

“…You’re an angel.”

Another.

“You’re…”

“Changbin, I love you.”

His lips are suspended over yours where you whispered the confession, and for a moment he doesn’t move, as if refusing to disrupt the beautiful centimeters of space into which they had been uttered. He pulls back and stares at you, and for once, his eyes don’t sparkle. They crash over you, drowning you in the depths of their unchecked emotion. And you see it, what he’s been holding back - the strength and weakness, courage and fear, joy, sorrow, confidence, insecurity, passion, doubt - all of him, his whole heart, for you. 

“Me too,” he whispers, and you lean up on your knees and crush him in an embrace, bringing his head to your breast.

His arms wrap around your waist as he anchors himself to you, and you hold him.

You hold each other.

Glancing out of the kitchen window your eyes scan over dirt and cement of the backyard as you sort the last of the glasses into the cupboard. The landscaping of your new condo’s fairly sizable outdoor lot wasn’t much, but you could change that. You mentally schedule a trip to the nursery tomorrow - you’ll take Nari. She’s still warming up to things, but she’s getting there. Two days after the big conversation she’d taken you out for drinks and you’d tearfully hugged it out after a pitcher of margaritas.

You hear footsteps behind you, then a hand slips into your back pocket and lips press themselves below your ear.

“Chris says he’s sorry he couldn’t be back to help out,” Changbin mumbles against your skin.

You hum, moving toward the last box as your boyfriend follows your steps, hand still tucked into your jeans, as if he were a built-in attachment.

“I would have hated for the poor guy to have to use his first weekend back helping us move anyway,” you muse, opening a drawer and to find silverware tossed in a haphazard pile. “Who did this?”

“What?” Changbin looks over your shoulder. “Should it be somewhere else?”

Apparently having a bunch of twenty-something-year-old dudes help you move had its pros and cons. You open the box on the counter and fish out an organizer, handing it to Changbin.

“Chris actually extended his trip,” he says with a smirk, releasing you to stack spoons into one of the plastic slots.

“Oh?”

“Met a girl in the UK. Apparently things are moving kinda fast.”

“Yeah?” you smile over at him, “Good for Chris! What’s he said about her?”

“The usual Romeo stuff. Jisung calls her HP,” he snickers.

“Umm…Hewlett Packard? High priority?” you raise a brow at him, shrugging your shoulders.

“Hot piercings.”

You grin. “Nice.”

“Finished the studio,” he remarks, sliding the organizer into the drawer.

“Yeah?” You break down the cardboard box and toss it onto the stack of others. “Give me the tour!”

He shakes his head, clicking his tongue.

“I don’t think you should be allowed in there.”

“What! Why?” you huff, hands on your hips as Changbin turns and crowds you back against the edge of the sink.

“Because, I’ll never get anything done but you…” he growls, leaning in for a kiss, but you push him back.

“But you said I helped you pass algebra!”

He lets out a hearty laugh.

“I said you cheered me up - I almost failed that class.”

“Seriously?”

He smirks, raising a brow at you.

“Do you have any idea how hard it is to do math while a hot girl is sitting on your desk licking chocolate off her fingers?”

You roll your eyes theatrically.

“So where exactly am I allowed, hm?”

“My bed, for starters,” he quips, hitching onto the rim of the sink.

“Our bed,” you correct him with a grin, weaving your arms around his neck.

“Yeah…” he murmurs dreamily, leaning in to kiss you as your fingers tangle in his hair.

He pulls you off the counter, arms under your thighs, and you giggle into his mouth.

You don’t mind when he carries you these days. You don’t feel like a burden, and not just because he can take it. Because you know you’re holding him as much as he’s holding you - that in each other’s arms you’re safe.

In each other’s arms, you’re strong.

-Fin-

[nerdallwritey]

Perfect Every Time

Summary: You got up and joined him in the ankle deep water. “Do you want to try right now?” Astarion thought for a moment and clicked his tongue. “I have a better idea, actually.” He gave you a sideways look, his lips quirking up slightly.  “What?” you matched his smile. Rather than answering, Astarion reached for the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head.  You furrowed your brow. “Looks an awful lot like you’re preparing to swim.” He started fiddling with the clasps on his pants and groaned in your direction. “Swimming is not the only thing one can do while submerged in water, dearest.” He gave you a sensual smile that sent heat to your cheeks.  OR Before your party travels into the Underdark, you and Astarion catch one last sunrise together.

Pairing: Astarion x f!reader Rating: 18+ Word count: 7.2k CW: smut, reader is new to sex, hand job, piv sex, water sex, dirty talk, mentions of Astarion's past trauma, blood drinking, extra mild angst, soft Astarion, porn with feelings, reader is an idiot (and a bard), so is Astarion (not a bard, just an idiot), Illmater's blood-stained rack Spoilers: Minor spoilers for Act 1 (in-game dialogue, plot points, etc.), as well as Astarion's plotline Also posted to: AO3 FAIR WARNING: This is PART 4 in my series, "Beauty and the Bard." Find the masterlist here.

a/n: Surprise!! I'm back with a new chapter of Beauty and the Bard! This part is shorter than the other ones (who cheered) because it morphed from a little smut scene into one that deserved its very own part. One million thanks to everyone who's read and enjoyed the series so far, it's so much fun chatting with you guys and hearing your thoughts and it truly means the world that you guys care so much about these goofs. I already have an idea for Part 5, so that will be coming soon, but I have a request to fill first! Thank you all for your patience. In the meantime, please enjoy our regularly scheduled silliness with Astarion and bard!tav :) (Thank you once again to @kermitwazowski for beta reading!) As a reminder, the last part was the Tiefling party!

Taglist: @a66-1, @khaleesiofthewolves, @khywren, @lollipopsandlandmines, @mizuki-nautilus - Let me know if you'd like to be added to the taglist for this series!

Several days had passed since the hijinxs of the Tiefling party had taken place. By now, the former refugees of the Emerald Grove were well on their way to Baldur’s Gate, the looming threat of goblins and power hungry druids far from their minds, their thoughts instead replaced with hope for new beginnings in the city. 

Just like he’d promised, Halsin had returned the next day to discuss the parasites, officially joining your party of misfits on your journey towards the Shadow Cursed Lands and Moonrise Towers. His calming presence and sage advice was a welcome addition to the group, especially given that this leadership role had been thrust upon you by the others with next to no discussion. Having Halsin around finally felt like there was a responsible adult among you. Not that you all weren’t adults, but you definitely had your… quirks. Sure, Halsin turned into a bear if he let his emotions go unchecked, but Gale was a bomb. 

As for you and Astarion, not much had really changed, you were both still yourselves, but now you openly tortured your companions with more pet names and cheek kisses and obnoxiously loud banter. Lae’zel had threatened to cleave you both in half on multiple occasions, but had yet to follow through on that threat. The others would groan loudly or avert their eyes politely.

Your days with Astarion were spent fighting side-by-side and teasing one another, and your nights were spent chatting and reading together. Aside from the physical intimacy and emotional vulnerability that came with being in a new relationship, it was really as if nothing had changed. And those were small prices to pay for where you currently found yourself: wrapped together with a trancing Astarion.

Ever since the Tiefling party, Astarion would worm his way into your tent at night. Whether he asked permission, or stayed a little too late into the night reading or talking or drinking from you; you would never ask him to leave. You’d slept together every night, sometimes beside each other, and other nights wrapped in each others’ arms. You were allowing Astarion to set the pace, as you were in no rush to get anywhere in particular. You simply enjoyed his company and his magnetic presence. 

The pair of you hadn’t been too intimate since the party, barring stolen and sometimes steamy kisses. That was plenty for you, and Astarion continued checking in to see if you were okay with his touches and advances. Whenever you assured him that you were, he’d smile and return to your lips. You never asked him for more than he was willing to give, and even though you knew he wouldn’t say anything about it, you could tell he appreciated the courtesy despite the smug mask he so often wore.

Now, you found yourself stroking your hands through his hair as he tranced on your bare chest, breathing quietly; a habit he told you he’d picked up to look more alive when prowling the Gate. 

It was funny, honestly, how sweet and unassuming he looked when he wasn’t fully conscious. And yet, you knew the kind of violence and debauchery and bad jokes he enacted and adored when he was awake. A small sound escaped his lips and you paused in caressing his hair to make sure you weren’t waking him. When his breathing returned to normal, you resumed raking your fingers soothingly over his scalp. 

The hour was a little before dawn. Truthfully, you hadn’t gotten much sleep last night, knowing that today was the day your party would pack up camp and make your way into the Underdark for the foreseeable future. You’d re-emerge eventually to find the crèche Lae’zel knew to be nearby, but the Underdark was worth investigating for the sake of further answers about the tadpoles and a possible alternate route into the Shadow Cursed Lands. Plus, Shadowheart was adamant about seeing the rumored temple to Shar hidden down there.

All that to say, you and your companions wouldn’t be seeing the sun for quite a while. The thought saddened you immensely, knowing how much the man trancing on you would miss it terribly. How cruel, you thought, that your adventure was leading Astarion back into the shadows after he’d just gotten a taste of the sun for the first time in centuries. 

“Why are you awake, my darling?” came Astarion’s raspy voice from the dark. He shifted his head to look up at you, his grip around your midsection tightening a bit, his eyes heavy with grogginess.

“Couldn’t sleep,” you admitted. “You should get a little more if you can.”

Astarion chuckled. “Too busy thinking about me to sleep? I wouldn’t blame you.”

You sighed. “And if I was?”

Astarion’s face fell a little. “Why the hells would you allow yourself to lose sleep on my behalf, pet?” His voice was soft and one of his hands unwrapped itself from your body, taking your hand, and bringing it up to his mouth to kiss the back of your fingers. He cleared his throat. “I mean, obviously I can understand why,” he tried deflecting the sweetness that had seeped into his words by injecting his tone with fake bravado.

You let out an amused breath and allowed your hand in his hair to continue petting him gently. “I want to watch the sunrise with you again this morning.”

Astarion hummed. “And that kept you awake?”

“I didn’t want to oversleep.”

Now it was Astarion’s turn to let out an amused breath. “You could have asked. I would have woken you up.”

“No you wouldn’t, you keep letting me sleep in. It’s like you enjoy watching me sleep or something, you creep.” You poked his nose playfully.

“It’s just amazing how much drool someone of your stature can produce.”

You smacked the side of his head and he laughed softly. The two of you sat in comfortable silence for a little while before you decided to speak again.

“This will be the last sunrise we see for a while.”

Astarion let out a long sigh and remained silent. After a moment, he said, “I know.” 

He sounded sad. 

“It’s not forever, though,” you assured, moving your hand to stroke his cheek and regaining his attention.

He chuckled. “I know that, too.”

You yawned, a little more loudly than you meant to. “Good. I promise you’ll see the sun again.”

Astarion tsked. “Honestly, darling, did you get no sleep at all?”

“I got a little,” you lied.

He held your gaze, lifting a skeptical eyebrow. “I don’t believe you.”

“What does it matter?” you asked, caught. “I can handle a little lack of sleep.”

Astarion rolled his eyes and sat up to look at you more directly. “It matters because we need you alert. None of us knows what awaits us in the Underdark and I- we can’t have you getting hurt because you didn’t get enough rest!”

“I’ll be fine,” you assured, bending upwards to kiss the corner of his mouth. “Besides, I’ll have you to protect me when I get sloppy.”

Astarion groaned. “You shouldn’t get sloppy,” he complained. “I swear, if you somehow hold us back down there, I’ll slaughter you myself.”

“Promise?”

He groaned again. “Would you, just once, allow me to threaten you seriously?”

“No,” you patted his cheek lovingly. 

He sighed and pushed some of his mussed hair out of his face. He took your hands in his. “Just… stay vigilant, alright?”

“Can do,” you said, withholding another obvious yawn.

“I saw that.”

“Saw what?”

He shook his head at you and sat up fully, stretching his arms above his head and giving you a clear view of the scar on his back. You sat up and kissed his bare shoulder.

“I’ll be fine,” you repeated.

“Mhm.” Astarion passed you one of his shirts. “Come on, darling, let’s get a move on.” He tossed on a spare shirt and watched you as you pulled his shirt over your head. 

“There’s still a little time before sunrise,” you said.

Astarion snorted and fixed some of your hair that was sticking up from putting on his shirt. “You could stay here if you want. Drown in your own drool. Up to you.”

You huffed at him, making him laugh again.

“Only joking, my love.”

“Sure,” you said, opening the flaps of your tent and crawling out into the blue that preceded dawn.

You went to stand, but felt Astarion’s cool fingers wrap around your wrist and pull you back. He turned you slightly and caught your lips in a kiss, one that wiped away whatever fake ire you had towards him and replaced it with a dopey grin. 

“What was that for?” you asked when he pulled away.

“Delicious,” he breathed, raising a seductive eyebrow. 

You laughed and grabbed his hand. “Come on.”

You’d only been able to catch two more sunrises with Astarion following the one you watched the morning after you’d slept together for the first time. You’d woken up once on your own after Astarion gently shifted himself away from you, and another time when he woke you up purposely, not wanting to be alone with his thoughts. You’d whine and moan whenever he let you sleep in, despite the fact that it was probably for the best to keep you in tip top shape for fighting and recharging your magic. He’d always find his way back to you, and you knew he needed his own space sometimes, but you still loved to watch him bask in the golden light of the morning and you couldn’t help feeling a little disappointed whenever you felt his gentle hand on your back before opening your eyes and seeing that the sun was already up.

Astarion led you through the forest again, his hand holding yours firmly. You knew your way to the ravine lookout by now, but you liked not having to take the lead for once. He helped you across the little stream that led into the clearing where you first laid together and you felt your cheeks flush at the memory.

“I can hear your heart picking up speed, darling.” He turned to smirk at you. “You’re adorable.”

“Pardon me for still being shy,” you half-joked.

“Mmm,” Astarion hummed. “I’ll pound that out of you eventually.” He furrowed his brow sensually at you and you scoffed.

“Shut up.”

“I, of course, don’t have to-”

You made a whiny sound and he laughed.

“I know, my love,” he said, removing his hand from yours and instead wrapping his arm around you to pull you close. “You’ve been so patient for me,” he nipped at your earlobe. “So good.” 

“I’m in no rush,” you reassured on a shaky exhale. 

Astarion made his own whiny sound and pulled you closer, leading you to the cliff’s edge where he’d opened up to you willingly for the first time, just a few days ago.

He sat, pulling you down with him, far enough away from the edge, where he knew you wouldn’t be nervous of falling. In the distance, the sky was just starting to indicate the sun’s arrival. 

You sighed happily and rested your head on his shoulder. You felt him tense a little. “Is this alright?” 

Instead of answering, he leaned his head on top of yours. 

“What’s something you want to do in the Underdark?” you probed.

Astarion groaned. “You don’t need to make small talk with me, darling, sometimes silence is golden.”

You scrunched your nose, knowing he hated pure silence. “I wasn’t being polite, I genuinely wanted to know.”

He groaned again. “Even worse.”

You laughed lightly and felt him laugh too, his arm gently shaking against your own. 

He thought for a moment before he responded. “That Zhentarim fellow we met mentioned a cache of supplies hidden somewhere down there. That might be fun to pillage.”

You laughed. “I’m surprised you ever stopped thinking about that!”

“Oh I didn’t, but I wanted you to think your little thought experiment had actually evoked some sort of… thought… in me.” He made a face.

“Want to try and rephrase that?”

“Not particularly.”

You hummed fondly, taking one of his hands in your own and examining how your fingers slotted together just so. 

“I suppose you want me to ask you the same question?” Astarion asked, clearly not wanting to ask.

You laughed. “Your interest in my interests always astounds me, Astarion.”

He rubbed his cheek against the top of your head. “Get better interests and I might actually want to pay attention.”

“Rude,” you muttered, a smile on your face. “But since you so desperately want to know, I’ll answer anyway.”

“Oh, goodie.”

You thought about it. There wasn’t actually all that much you knew about the Underdark, aside from the few mentions of it in the books you’d read growing up. One thing did stick out in your mind.

“Singing mushrooms.”

“........What?”

“I read somewhere that apparently there are colonies of sentient mushroom people who communicate through song.”

Astarion pulled his head off of yours to hang it in front of himself instead, groaning loudly. “That sounds like a nightmare.”

“It’s not! It’s fascinating!”

“Sentient mushrooms?”

“Yes.”

“That sing?”

“Yes.”

Astarion shook his head. “Am I still asleep? Do you hear yourself?”

“I’m not making it up!” you exclaimed incredulously. When he didn’t say anything else, you crossed your arms in front of yourself. “We’re going to see the mushrooms.”

“Whatever you say, darling.” He kissed the top of your head almost pityingly. 

“You’re an ass,” you said, pulling away from him and sitting back on your forearms. The sky was turning a faint pinkish orange in the distance. You snickered to yourself. “More like Ass-starion.”

The ass in question scowled. “That will not be one of your pet names for me.”

You shrugged. “I’m surprised no one’s called you that before.”

“I’ve been called far worse.” Astarion tilted his head up pompously, as if nothing you could say would hurt him.

“Okay great, so ‘Ass’ is nothing new.”

He sighed heavily. “It’s like you want me to throw you off the cliff.”

“Go ahead,” you challenged, catching his eye mischievously, knowing his threat was empty. 

Astarion looked at you and then towards the horizon. He inhaled deeply and rose to his feet. 

“What are you doing?” you laughed nervously as he approached the cliff’s edge that gave way into the ravine below. 

He peered over the edge, his brow furrowed in deep thought. 

You shifted uncomfortably and sat up completely straight. “Astarion, please be careful, you’re making me nervous.”

He ignored you and walked along the edge, looking past a batch of trees and into the distance to your right. He nodded and turned back towards where you sat.

“Up you go,” Astarion approached you and gestured his thumb upwards, indicating that he wanted you to stand. When he reached you, he helped you to your feet.

“You’re not actually going to throw me off the cliff, are you?” You kept your tone playful, but the anxiety you were masking was obvious.

Astarion smirked. “Stop annoying me and I won’t have to.”

You rolled your eyes and began to follow him as he started walking to the right, down a slanted slope and into a patch of trees. 

“What’s happening?” you asked when you caught up with him.

Astarion tilted his head. “I just thought an occasion such as this needed a change of scenery.”

“‘Occasion?’” you echoed.

He nodded. “It’s my last day in the sun-” he saw you about to protest and quickly added, “-for a little while. Might as well start the day off right.”

You hummed. “Why do I get the sense that you’re up to something?”

Astarion stopped in his tracks, a hand held to his unbeating heart in mock offense. “Me? Up to something? You’re far too paranoid, darling.”

“Uh huh.” You kept walking, but quickly realized you didn’t actually know where you were going. You looked back at Astarion for help and found him watching you. 

He rolled his eyes affectionately. “This way, dear, it’s not much farther.” He walked past you, deeper into the trees, and kept talking. “Did you know that that ravine we’ve been sitting above gives way into what I can only assume is either the Chianthar or the Sea of Swords?”

“I didn’t,” you said. “Though those are two very different bodies of water.”

“Give me a break, my geography lessons occurred well over 200 years ago. And we’re in the gods damn middle of nowhere, might I remind you.”

“Mhm,” you affirmed with a smile. “Go on.”

“Well, it just so happens that that ravine’s mouth isn’t far from our little sunrise spot.”

“‘Our?’” you teased.

“Focus, darling,” he said. He turned to the left, leading you back towards the cliff’s edge that had continued along the treeline.

“Astarion, please be careful,” you called after him, hesitantly following him towards the sound of rushing water. 

He turned back and held out a steadying hand for you as you approached the edge. Not too far below you were narrow rapids that gradually became calmer. The cliff that had been on the other side of the one you currently found yourself on had disappeared, forming a mouth where the ravine did in fact empty into a much larger, much calmer, body of water.

You wrapped your arms around Astarion’s middle to anchor yourself and leaned forward a little to see where the cliff you were on ended. A little farther down, you squinted to adjust your eyes to the dim lighting, and saw a tiny beach that quickly shot upwards into a new cliff. Rocks surrounded the shore, keeping it slightly out of view, and gentle waves lapped at the sand, far enough away from the rapids of the ravine to remain serene.

You caught Astarion’s eye and pointed towards the small patch of sand in the distance. “Is that where we’re going?”

Astarion pursed his lips. “Yes, that would be much easier than jumping in, wouldn’t it?”

You scoffed. “You expected me to jump in from this high up? There could be rocks we can’t see! And we don’t know how deep it is!”

Astarion sighed. “You’re no fun. Though I suppose you’re right, I hadn’t thought that far ahead.” With your arms still around his middle, he started walking back into the trees and down towards the tiny beach. 

You laughed as he dragged you along. “You can’t possibly be serious. You’d get your hair all wet!”

“Nobody said I was going to jump in with you,” he teased.

“I’m not going in alone,” you narrowed your eyes at him. 

“Pity,” he tutted. “I like it when you’re wet.” He smirked and you shoved yourself away from him. 

You picked up your pace to put distance between the two of you. When you didn’t hear his footsteps gaining on you, you decided to quickly slip behind a tree, hoping you’d lost him and that you’d be able to jump out to scare him as he sauntered past.

Unfortunately, nothing but silence greeted you. After a heartbeat or two, you peered around the trunk of your hiding spot but saw no sign of his sleek frame or shock of white hair. You started to second guess yourself; was it possible he’d passed you already? Or that he stopped, out of sight for some reason? 

“You’ll have to do better than that, darling,” came his voice softly next to your ear.

You yelped and clutched at your heart, which raced with surprise. 

Astarion sighed happily. “I do love the sound of your blood pumping.”

“How do you do that?” you asked, breathing deeply to calm yourself. 

“Years of practice.” He paused. “Centuries, even.”

You conceded with a nod. “I shouldn’t have even tried.”

“No, you shouldn’t have. The effort was hardly there, either.”

“Alright,” you rolled your eyes and continued on through the trees down to the beach.

“I mean honestly, have these weeks on the road with me taught you nothing about stealth?”

“I play music for a living. My job is making noise.”

“And I don’t know why I even try at this point.” He raised his eyebrows playfully.

“You like my noise,” you said, sing-songingly. 

“You’re loud, I’ll give you that.”

It was then that you emerged from the trees and onto a grassy dune that sloped downward onto the flat sand below. You slid down the dune with as much grace as you could muster, only falling on your ass once, before taking off your shoes and sinking your toes into the cool sand that made up the shoreline. Astarion followed after you, his long strides keeping him upright and as elegant as ever. He came to stand next to you, taking his own shoes off and placing them neatly beside yours.

You exhaled wistfully and grabbed Astarion’s bicep, leaning your head onto his shoulder. From here, you had a clear view of the sun on the horizon. The sky was a deep shade of pink, giving way to golds and oranges the closer you watched. You looked at Astarion, whose eyes were focused on the sunrise in the distance. 

“What are you thinking about?” you asked quietly.

Astarion looked over at you and blinked. Then he smiled. “Just that it’s truly a wonder you’ve made it this far in life.”

“What?!” you exclaimed, shocked and amused.

You could tell he was holding in a laugh. “You are inept at hiding and fall down sand dunes. What were we thinking when we started following you around Faerûn?”

“I’ll push you into the water, pretty boy.”

“I’d pull you in with me, my love.”

“Touché,” you smiled and released his arm, sitting on the sand. You pulled your legs to your chest and rested your cheek on your knee. Around you, reeds and tall grass swayed in the morning breeze. Astarion remained standing, watching the horizon. 

As much as you enjoyed watching the sunrise, you enjoyed watching Astarion watch it more. The way his attention became transfixed on the sky, the way the vibrant light painted itself onto him like a blank canvas, the way his entire body relaxed when the warmth of the sun finally reached his skin. 

You heard him sigh and watched as he walked forward a little, allowing the tiny waves rolling off the water to rush gently over his toes. He flinched a little in shock and you let out an affectionate breath through your nose.

“Cold?” you asked.

“You know, it’s funny,” Astarion said, his voice a million miles away. “It’s been so long since I’ve been able to move through water like this.”

“What do you mean?” You furrowed your brow. “I’ve seen you in the lake at camp before.”

“I don’t know, I guess I haven’t given it too much thought until now. Normally, I can’t move through running water like this. Don’t ask me why, it’s one of those idiotic vampire laws dictated by some ancient devil with an infuriating sense of humor. I can bathe, sure, but I haven’t been proper swimming since… before.”

You stayed quiet as he moved further into the water, letting the waves wash over his ankles.

“I have to imagine I knew how to swim at one point,” he said quietly.

“I could teach you,” you offered. “I was going to teach Shadowheart at some point too. You’re welcome to join us if you want.”

Astarion snorted. “And look like a fool in front of the cleric? I’ll pass.”

“You don’t need swim lessons to look like a fool,” you clarified. 

“Ha ha,” he said humorlessly. 

You got up and joined him in the ankle deep water. “Do you want to try right now?”

Astarion thought for a moment and clicked his tongue. “I have a better idea, actually.” He gave you a sideways look, his lips quirking up slightly. 

“What?” you matched his smile.

Rather than answering, Astarion reached for the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head. 

You furrowed your brow. “Looks an awful lot like you’re preparing to swim.”

He started fiddling with the clasps on his pants and groaned in your direction. “Swimming is not the only thing one can do while submerged in water, dearest.” He gave you a sensual smile that sent heat to your cheeks. 

“Oh,” you said, stiffly watching him undress. “Should I-?” you awkwardly pulled at the collar of his shirt that was currently resting on your shoulders. 

He straightened, naked but for his underwear. He frowned a little. 

“You don’t have to do anything, my love. I just thought we might have some fun while watching the sunrise.”

You bit your bottom lip, thinking it over. “I do like fun.”

“I know that about you.” Astarion walked towards you and reached for the hem of your shirt. “May I?”

You nodded and lifted your arms to help. He took the shirt and tossed it over to where he’d discarded his own clothes. He stepped closer to you, pulling you to him so that you were chest to chest, and nuzzled his nose into the area where your neck met your shoulder. He placed a slow, gentle kiss there that had you inhaling sharply and exhaling unevenly. He groaned with need before pulling back and readjusting to kiss your lips. He came at it with more force than you were expecting, causing you to stumble back a little, but his hands firmly gripped your biceps, keeping you steady. You suppressed a giggle and instead smiled against his mouth before opening up for him and allowing his tongue to meet yours. Astarion hummed with pleasure, moving his mouth against yours and bringing his hands up to tangle in your hair. When he finally pulled away, he left one more chaste kiss against your lips before fully pulling back. 

His eyes were alight with something that morphed into joy when he saw the gooey grin on your face. He rolled his eyes affectionately before looking you up and down and exhaling a laugh.

“You are perfect,” he said, almost in awe.

You smiled. “When?”

Astarion pulled you closer, his eyes narrowing seductively. “Every time.”

You snickered and pulled away from him, a teasing grin plastered on his face. You bent to remove your own pants and watched to see what Astarion would do next. When you saw him reach for his underwear, you averted your eyes and heard him laugh.

“Nothing new over here, darling,” he said, and the soft splashing sounds that followed indicated he’d walked into the water.

“I know,” you replied, embarrassed. You turned back towards him and shrugged. “Habit, I guess.”

“Well, cut it out,” he called, now knee deep in the water. His body was rigid from the temperature, his shoulders rising up to his ears. He turned back to look back at you, still standing on the shore. “Illmater’s blood-stained RACK, this is cold!” 

“I don’t know what you expected,” you called back, hugging your arms to your chest and trying to convince yourself to brave the frigid waters and join him.

“I rather expected you would be in here with me to keep me warm,” he said, turning back towards the sunrise ahead of him.

You quickly pulled off your underwear and started walking into the water, tensing at the cold, but willing yourself to keep going. 

“If you wanted my blood, you could have just asked,” you said when you finally reached him.

“There you are, darling,” Astarion said and grabbed your hand. 

“Hi,” you said softly.

“Brace yourself,” he tipped his head forward a little.

“What?”

Without warning, Astarion lowered himself into the water so that it was just below his shoulders, and pulled you down with him. You hadn’t expected to be yanked so forcefully and unsurprisingly lost your footing. You plunged downward, reaching your free hand out to break your fall and ended up dunking your face below the surface. You were submerged for less than a second, but you came up sputtering and made eye contact with a gleeful vampire. He sucked in his lips to keep from laughing.

“And what was that?” you asked blandly, flicking wet tendrils of hair out of your face.

“Apologies, darling, I didn’t mean for you to get your pretty hair all wet,” he pouted at you and sounded less than sympathetic. 

“Uh huh,” you narrowed your eyes at him. You crawled closer to him, made weightless by the water, and sat beside him, the water level reaching slightly higher on your chest than his. You scooted back a little and dragged your arm out behind you. You pushed it forward quickly, creating a splash that soaked the back of Astarion’s head. He instantly hunched forward and yelped. 

“How dare you?!” he exclaimed, his curls flattening and falling partially into his face. 

“Whoops,” you shrugged. Your eyes widened when you saw him wind his own arm back in retaliation and quickly dunked your head below the surface to avoid his onslaught of water.

When you reemerged, you heard Astarion snicker.

“Look at that,” he said, his tone mocking, “you’re all wet for me.”

You wasted no time in splashing him directly in the face.

“Let’s not do this,” he said flatly, his eyes closed. He brought his hands up to wipe the water off his face, even though his hands were equally wet.

“But now you’re all wet for me,” you teased. 

“I’ll show you what I am,” Astarion growled and took your hand underwater. He pulled you closer and led your hand to his cock, which was already rigid with desire, despite the temperature of the water. 

You made eye contact with him as you started pumping your hand up and down his shaft and he hissed out a breath. 

“Easy, darling,” he said shakily. 

“What’s the matter?” you asked, close to his ear. “Don’t you want to cum while watching the sunrise?”

Astarion groaned and you moved your hand up to swipe your thumb across his tip and then back down to continue pumping. You lifted your weightless body up and swung your leg around so that you were sitting between his legs, facing him head on with the sunrise at your back. 

“I know what would make you even harder,” you cooed, wiping wet hair out of his face with your free hand. Instead of finishing the thought, you tilted your head to the side, offering up your neck to him. 

Astarion’s eyes, half lidded with lust, went wide and looked at you. You nodded to him, and he pulled you closer to his chest, kissing your throat feverishly upon contact. Your hand was still wedged between your legs, twisting around Astarion’s length. He moaned as he nosed along your throat for where your pulse thrummed the strongest.

“Thank you,” he said before sinking his fangs into you. 

You let out a moan of your own, your mouth falling open as goosebumps broke out along your arms. The cold water mixed with the ice in your veins created a delicious mixture of pleasure and pain. The hand pumping Astarion’s length started to slow as you felt yourself focusing instead on the satisfyingly dull thrum that came with him drinking from you. 

“Don’t stop,” he murmured against your skin, kissing your throat and licking a few wayward drops of blood that had escaped before returning to his meal.

You made a noise of affirmation and squeezed his dick before continuing to twist your hand up and down, from base to tip and back down again. 

Astarion whined lamely and dug his nails into your scalp and shoulder, which in turn made you moan wantonly. You rolled your hips, trying to find some relief of your own and ended up brushing your clit against the base of his cock. You both groaned in pleasure and you brought your free hand up to tangle into his hair as you continued rolling your hips. 

“Hah,” Astarion huffed sweetly as he pulled himself away from your throat, his cool breath made warm by your blood. He licked at the wounds he left behind and kissed them gratefully before angling his head to kiss your mouth deeply.

The metallic tang of your blood on his tongue sent a chill through your body and you opened your eyes when you felt Astarion’s hands make their way to your hips. You broke the kiss to give him a curious look. 

He returned your look with a blissed out smirk. “I want you to ride me,” he drawled. 

Your eyes widened and the hand that was still working his cock slowed to a stop. 

He surged forward to kiss you again and moved his hands to your ass, where he lifted your weightless form to position you over his length. 

“Are you sure?” you asked. “I thought I was close to getting you off.”

“You were, sweet girl, but I’d much rather finish inside, if it’s all the same to you.”

Your lips quirked up. “I think we can make that work.”

Taking his cock into your hand again, you guided the head to your entrance before sinking down on him slowly. Astarion’s eyes closed in satisfaction and he tipped his head up to the sky, golden light painting his beautiful face into something ethereal. You sucked in a breath and rested your forehead on his shoulder, taking a second to adjust to this new sensation. You hadn’t ridden him yet, nor had you ever fooled around in water, by yourself or otherwise. 

Astarion kissed your ear before encouraging you: “Use me, my love. You’re deliciously warm.”

You nodded and tested lifting yourself up a little and bringing yourself back down. Your mouth dropped open and you adjusted your legs so you were resting on your knees, making it easier to bob on his dick. Your arms wrapped around his neck as you lifted yourself higher and brought yourself down with more force.

“That’s it,” Astarion cooed, “take your pleasure from me.”

“Touch me,” you whined, rolling your hips and picking up the pace of your bouncing.

“With pleasure,” he bent forward to kiss your neck, bringing his hand down to circle your clit. His other hand came up to squeeze your breast. 

“You make me feel so good,” you sighed, raking your nails over the ridges on his back.

“The feeling is mutual, d-arling,” his voice caught when you brought yourself down on his cock. “And I’m the only one who can make you feel this good,” he grazed his fangs across your collarbone. 

“I don’t know,” you said, your body shuddering with euphoria, “Halsin seems like he could give you a run for your money.”

Astarion raised a disbelieving eyebrow at you.

“Teasing, my love,” you kissed him softly before letting out a loud “Ah!” when he started raising his hips to meet yours.

“Oh really?” he asked, his voice coming out like a growl. “You think Halsin could fuck you as well as I can?”

“Hah,” you half laughed, half moaned. “I think technically, in this position, I’m fucking you?” A lopsided grin graced your lips. “But I don’t know, I’m new to all this.”

“Funny,” Astarion remarked sarcastically and pulled his hand away from your clit, making you whimper in protest. 

“Hey!”

“Take it back.”

“Take what back? I already said I was teasing!”

“Say I’m the only one who can fuck you like this.”

You smiled, panting and still riding him beneath the surface of the water. “Are you jealous or something?”

“Hardly,” he rolled his eyes. “But you’re mine and it wouldn’t kill you to remind yourself of that.”

“Sounds an awful lot like jealousy to me.”

Astarion groaned in what sounded like frustration and pleasure. “Do you want to cum or not?” 

You leaned forward and kissed him deeply, moving your mouth slowly in time with the rhythm of your hips. When you pulled away, a string of saliva connected you to his lower lip. 

“Astarion,” you said softly, “I don’t ever want anyone else to fuck me. Only you. For as long as you’ll have me.”

The smirk on Astarion’s face was smug. “Because?”

You rolled your eyes. “Because I’m yours, you stupid bat.” You kissed him, then whispered conspiratorially, “And I like you the most out of everyone at camp.”

“You flatter me,” Astarion said, immediately returning to his ministrations on your clit. You gasped at the contact, which quickly morphed into a moan of delight as you rested your forehead on his shoulder again. His hips rose to meet yours once more and the moan he let out as a result sounded as if he’d been holding it in for a while. Perhaps it was to sound eloquent during your back and forth, but the noise was music to your ears.

“Am I making you feel good?” you asked a little shyly.

Astarion opened one of his eyes to look at you. “My sweet, you’ve only ever made me feel good.”

“I know that’s not true.”

“It’s not, but it is true about the sex.”

“Thank the gods,” you laughed, though you shut your eyes tightly when Astarion hit a particularly pleasant spot inside you with a roll of his hips. “Whatever you just hit felt heavenly,” you relayed to him.

“Good to know,” he said mischievously, and repositioned you on his lap so he could rise to meet that spot every time you sank down on him. 

“Oh, Astarion,” you sighed, a grin overtaking your features.

“You like that, love?” he nipped at your shoulder. 

“Yes,” you sighed again.

Your bounces on his cock were starting to become sloppy as the knot of your climax began to build low in your stomach. You moved your hand to his and reversed the direction he was currently circling your clit.

“I’m close,” you confessed.

“Thank the gods, so am I,” Astarion’s voice was strained.

You opened your eyes to watch him as he approached his own peak and exhaled dreamily at the sight of him, bathed in the orange glow of the sun which was now halfway risen. 

“You’re so beautiful,” you whispered, “and I like you so much.”

“Don’t make me throw up when I’m trying to cum,” he opened up an eye and smirked at you. “You’re not half bad yourself, gorgeous thing.” He groaned when you sat back down on him forcefully. “Now, would you cum for me already? I’m dying here.”

“Almost there,” you laughed. “And you’re dead already.”

“You’re making this very difficult, darling.”

“Let me help you then,” you said, reaching a hand forward and lightly caressing his balls.

Astarion’s mouth hung open in silent pleasure, his fangs glistening in the emerging sunshine. He watched you wordlessly as you leaned forward.

“You’re so powerful,” you purred next to his ear. “You make me feel so good, and you’re the only one who can fuck me this well. The others will never know how good I feel because I’m yours and I’ll only ever be yours. You’re the only one who will ever be inside of me.”

“That’s right,” he groaned. “Your cunt is mine and I love the way it feels around me. The way it grips me so tight. You filthy thing, letting a vampire take your innocence. I could have killed you and instead I brought you the most pleasure you’ve ever felt. Isn’t that right?”

“Yes,” you moaned. “Astarion, please. Need to feel your cum in me.”

“You want this cock forever, darling? Prove it. Prove you want it by cumming for me and screaming my name.”

His command brought you to your peak and you wailed out in pure ecstasy. His name fell from your lips like a prayer, over and over, and your cunt gripped him like a vice, as if claiming it for itself. In return, Astarion groaned loudly and spilled inside of you, moaning your name repeatedly and throwing his head back in rapture and delight.

As you came down from your high, you leaned forward to place sloppy kisses on his exposed throat. He brought both his arms around you and pulled you closer as he returned from his climax. 

“You are-” he didn’t finish his sentence before crushing his lips into yours, moaning pathetically and you giggled in response. He bit your bottom lip with his blunt front teeth before releasing it and peppering kisses along your cheeks and jaw. 

“Go on,” you teased, encouraging him to finish his thought.

He looked as if he wanted to argue, but instead gave in and said, “You’re wonderful.”

The words caught you off guard and you bent forward to kiss him in a way that you hoped conveyed your gratitude. 

“I think you’re wonderful, too.”

“Obviously,” Astarion smirked.

You pushed him backwards, causing him to slip and submerge his head fully underwater briefly.

“My hair was just starting to dry, you wretched beast!” he sputtered, looking appalled. 

“Aw, but you’re so pretty like this!” You brushed some wet hair out of his eyes.

“Um, hello? I’m always pretty, darling.”

“Ah, you’re right, how could I forget.” You gingerly lifted yourself off of Astarion and floated yourself to sit beside him, facing the sunrise. 

“Perhaps you’ve had the lovely head of yours hit in battle one too many times.”

“That must be it,” you agreed jokingly, resting your head on his shoulder. 

He leaned his head on top of yours in return. You sighed happily, enjoying the vibrant hues of the sky above, still filled with the euphoria of your high and the presence of the man beside you.

“I really do like you, so much,” you said softly, accompanied by the quiet lapping of the waves on the shore nearby.

“Ugh,” Astarion groaned. “Let’s not get sentimental, darling. After we just had such an excellent time together.”

You laughed. “Pardon me for wanting to express my feelings.”

“You are pardoned.” He gave you a sideways smile. 

“Thank you, Mr. Magistrate.”

“Of course, beloved citizen.”

You both laughed quietly and returned to a pleasant silence. The sun rose steadily up into the sky and you knew you’d have to head back to camp soon to help pack up, but for now, you were content to sit and watch the horizon with your favorite traveling companion. 

“How are you doing that?” Astarion asked, breaking the silence.

“Doing what?”

“Tickling my thighs. Did you cast mage hand or something of the sort?”

You sat up a bit more to look and snorted. 

“Astarion, my love, I think it’s a fish that’s tickling you.”

“Ah,” he said calmly. Then he shot up, flinging you backwards and underwater. When you came up for air, he was rushing towards the shore, barreling through the water.

“At least it had the decency to wait until we were finished!” you called after him.

Astarion ignored you. “Slimy, disgusting, vile creatures!” He shook out his entire body as if he couldn’t rid himself of the sensation.

You watched him with adoration as he muttered to himself about how irredeemable that particular fish was as he pulled on his pants. It was then that you felt your heart swell with something big and alarming.

Oh no.

You were in love with him. 

Fuck!

[moonlitstoriess]

Across the Universe-ch.11 (Fenrys x Reader)

Summary: Y/n has everything she needs in life. A family, friends, a safe place she calls home and most importantly a male whom she loves. What happens when it all changes when Y/n finds out about the betrayal of her lover and her so called family? Well, ending up in Terrasen and in queen Aelin's court was not what she expected but what she will need to start her new journey full of surprises.

See masterlist

Y/n stirred awake slowly, feeling the warmth of a late afternoon filtering through the curtains. For a moment, she was disoriented, unsure of where she was. Then the events of the previous couple of days flooded back: the battle in the woods, Fenrys being injured, the ugly creature, and their vulnerable moment together in her room.

She shifted slightly and felt the weight of Fenrys' arm draped over her waist. He was still asleep, his breathing steady and deep. The scratches on his body seemed less angry in the soft morning light. Y/n gently turned her head to look at him, taking in the lines of his face, the way his brows softened in sleep, and the slight crease of pain that lingered on his features.

With a sigh, she realized how peaceful and content she felt in this moment, lying close to him. Despite the turmoil around them, there was a sense of serenity that she hadn't felt in a long time. Fenrys had always been strong, fierce, and protective, but seeing him vulnerable like this, trusting her enough to let his guard down, touched something deep within her.

Carefully, so as not to disturb him, y/n shifted closer, her head resting against his chest where she could hear the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. His arm tightened around her instinctively, pulling her closer in response. She felt safe, cherished even, in this simple gesture.

As they lay there intertwined, the world outside seemed to fade away. Y/n knew they couldn't stay like this forever, that reality would soon come crashing back in. But for now, in the quiet intimacy of the morning, they found solace in each other's presence.

Eventually, Fenrys stirred awake, blinking his eyes open slowly. When he saw her looking at him, a soft smile spread across his face. "Good morning," he murmured, his voice rough with sleep but filled with warmth.

"Morning," y/n replied softly, returning his smile. She couldn't help but feel a flutter of happiness in her chest, a sense of gratitude for this moment they shared.

She shifted slightly, stretching out her stiffened limbs. Fenrys remained beside her, his presence a comforting weight against her side. The events of the previous day replayed in her mind like a vivid dream—encountering the Valg-spawned creature, the frantic chase through the woods, and finally, finding solace in each other's embrace.

Fenrys stirred again, his eyes meeting hers with a mix of concern and relief. "How are you feeling?" he asked, his voice still tinged with the remnants of sleep.

Y/n couldn't help but smile faintly at his question. "Better, now that I'm not alone," she replied honestly. Despite the physical and emotional toll of the recent events, being with Fenrys brought her a sense of calm and reassurance she hadn't realized she needed.

He nodded silently, his gaze lingering on her face as if trying to read her thoughts. "I'm sorry," he said softly, his voice tinged with regret.

Her brows furrowed in confusion "What for?"

Fenrys sighed, his expression clouded with a mixture of emotions. "I just wish I could have protected you better," he murmured, his eyes searching hers for understanding.

"You did," y/n insisted earnestly. "You saved me back there, in the woods. If it weren't for you, my throat would have already been ripped out."

He turned his head towards the ceiling and closed his eyes, displaying his thick and tan neck to her, "You don't understand, these creatures....they are just newer forms of the ones that we fought against during the war. The Valgs are clearly creating new ones and this was just a warning to us. You probably never even saw such things in Prythian so now, you are also caught up in all this mess-"

"Fenrys, my world had even worse than whatever you all have here. I am pretty sure these monsters are nothing new to me."

His eyes popped open as he turned to her with a surprised expression "Really?"

Y/n giggled and said, "Yes! I mean, we had the Attor who was this disgusting thing that could fly, Feyre ended up killing it. Then, we had naga and the naga-hound who were slightly similar to what we saw yesterday. We also have Kelpies and Puca. But....worst of all was the Middengard Wyrm. I never saw it in real life but Rhysand did and from what he showed me through his memories, it was horrible. It's like this huge worm, the size of a whole mountain, with sharp and large teeth. Ironically, Feyre also fought against that and guess what? she won!! Everyone except Rhys thought that she would die but, she proved them all wrong."

Fenrys just stared at her with an amused gaze as he said, "Seems like your Feyre is a lucky one if she survived that."

Y/n sighed, her eyes going distant, to her memories with her once high lady "Yes, yes she is. Rhys is lucky to have her as a mate."

She noticed Fenrys tug her hair behind her ear as he whispered "Have you met your mate yet? If not, would you like one?"

At that, her expression turned sour as she pondered over his questions for a minute. She thought that Azriel was her mate. That them being together this long meant that at some point, that bond would snap. That because she loved him endlessly and thought that he felt the same, they were destined to be.

Of course, those thoughts were prior to Azriel ripping her heart out and crushing it in his hands. Now, she despises that word. Her heart has been completely shattered for anyone else. Y/n knows that she isn't destined for a happy end. She never was. That's why she vowed herself to never open up her heart, her soul, to anyone again. So, even if in the slim chance that she did have a mate and he or she ended up falling from the skies right onto her path, even if the Mother herself would tell her that 'this is your mate', y/n would just turn around and walk away.

It seems like she knew her answer.

Y/n's mood changed as she just got into a sitting position and said, "We should get up. They are probably worried about us."

Fenrys shifted to sit up, wincing slightly as he moved. "Y/n-"

Y/n watched him with concern, her hand lingering on his arm. "You should rest," she suggested gently. "Let me get Isolde—"

Fenrys shook his head, interrupting her. "I'm fine," he insisted, though the tightness around his eyes betrayed his words. "Just a few scratches."

Y/n frowned, unconvinced, but she nodded reluctantly. "Alright," she relented, knowing he was as stubborn as she was when it came to injuries.

Just then Eva burst into the room with Manon in tow as she came running at them.

"We heard noises and thought you two were awake!"

Y/n smiled at the younger girl as she just nodded her head and let Manon gently help her get off the bed.

At the noise, Aedion and Lorcan came in also helping Fenrys who was still skeptically glancing at the latter.

Aedion had a smirk on his face as he said out loud while leading Fenrys towards the door with Lorcan, "Seems like you two had quite the nap."

Manon shut him up before y/n could with a "Just take him and leave, blondie."

Everyone but Aedion laughed at the nickname as the males took Fenrys out of the room, y/n casting a final glance at his back before he disappeared.

Manon looked at Eva and said with a soft voice, "Go get the bath ready. She stinks."

The girl just laughed and nodded before going to the washroom.

When y/n looked back at the witch, she smelled....oh Gods "Seven hells, you stink of sex! And you say I stink?"

Manon blushed. She actually blushed as a pinkish tint overtook her pale cheeks.

"Can you blame me? I haven't seen him in.....three months."

Y/n couldn't hide the cheshire grin that was growing by the minute on her face as Manon sat her down on the chair near the vanity, slowly renewing her bandages as she said, "Oh really? How romantic, you two should definetly get married already."

Manon just smirked slightly "We'll see about that. What about you and your mate?"

When she saw y/n's frustrated expression, Manon quickly corrected herself, "I meant, I think he is your mate? I- Aelin told me you had someone like that, apparently he was going crazy over finding you."

Y/n just sadly shook her head, "No, he was my lover but not mate. Found his mate 50 years into our relationship and instead of telling me, cheated on me with her for two years while ignoring me. That caused me to have panick attacks and go back into my old habits which were.....not good so I don't want to talk about it. While this was happening, the rest of the family did nothing. No one gave me a shoulder to cry on or a presence to atleast vent to. They knew of his secret and didn't tell me either."

She saw Manon's expression go from one of concern and confusion to one of fury and ice as she said in a voice so cold, it made y/n shiver "Those bastards. You know, I would gladly go with you to your world just so I can kill them quickly and then slowly torture Azriel before ending him too."

Y/n just smiled while shaking her head.

"I leave for five minutes and come back to see Manon already plotting someones death."

They both turned their heads to see Eva standing in the middle of the room, arms crossed and glancing between them.

Manon's expression turned playful again as she stuck out her tounge to her while y/n gave a lighthearted laugh at that.

Eva just rolled her eyes with a small smile as she helped y/n get up and led her towards the bathroom with the witch.

When the three of them entered the dining room, they were welcomed by loud noises of everyone arguing.

The food lay forgotten as chaos erupted around the dining table. Rowan stood, his hands raised in a placating gesture, attempting to soothe Aelin who was in a heated argument with Dorian. Yrene shook her head in exasperation, trying to mediate between them. Chaol and Lysandra engaged in their own intense debate, their voices rising above the rest. Aedion, seated nearby, simply nodded along with whatever his wife said, wisely staying out of the fray.

Meanwhile, Lorcan seemed oblivious to the commotion, seizing the opportunity to shower his wife with kisses. Fenrys sat apart on a nearby couch, rubbing his temples with a look of frustration etched on his face.

Y/n heard Manon murmur "Grown ups but still act like damn children." before she gently sat y/n down with Eva's help on the couch opposite to Fenrys and went towards the table "We found an open gate!"

Everyone, including Fenrys and y/n, shut up and looked at the witch with absolute shock.

Dorian and Aedion spoke at the same time "What?! You're lying"

Manon just shrugged and went to take her place on the chair, "Yes, I am lying. Thought shouting this out would make you all finally shut up and come back to your senses."

Aelin just sighed while plopping back down on her chair "Manon, tell your little king to stop doubting every step of my plans."

Dorian just glared at her as he said, "If you call saying 'no' to a foolish idea 'doubting' then you are becoming mad in the head"

That earned him a growl from Rowan but before the silver haired prince could say anything, Eva interfered "What are you talking about?"

Rowan, not taking his eyes off of Dorian, replied, voice etched with frustration, "We are having a ball of sorts for tomorrow evening."

Lysandra just beckoned the girl over to her side with an exasperated sigh "The people are getting suspicious. Some residents said that they heard horrible noises last night, which was clearly because of your fight against the Valg-demon, the monks and sages in the sanctuary actually sent Aelin a letter demanding to know why some of their most ancient books containing dangerous information were used by me and Elide when we went there,"

Yrene filled her cup with water as she added, "Apparently, us all being here is also a cause for concern for many including lord Darrow who is getting really suspicious about us arriving here out of the blue. Not to mention, y/n, you weren't as slick as you thought because you were spotted by some when you flew over the city the other night."

Chaol just looked at his wife with wide eyes "You support their idea? We don't need any extra attention. Hosting this silly little ball for the sake of calming the lords and ladies is just a waste of time AND resources."

Manon just smirked "Actually, it is an amazing idea. Everyone will believe that we are here for this gathering and will therefore, stop worrying and sniffing where they don't belong. We won't have to look over our shoulder every second to see if anyone is suspicious. Especially Darrow."

Lorcan nodded as he looked pointedly at Chaol "It is also a great chance for the Valg's to try something. We can all be on alert and ready to strike if that happens. And then get some answers out of them."

Dorian just shrugged while coming to sit next to Manon "Well, if this woman beside me says that the idea is amazing, who am I to disagree?"

Aelin narrowed her eyes at the young king "Oh, so when I say it, the plan is horrible but when Manon agrees, suddenly the plan is amazing?"

"Exactly" Dorian said as a matter of fact while winking at the blond female.

Aelin was about to retort when Rowan put a hand on her shoulder while announcing to the room "It is decided then. We are having a ball tomorrow."

Dorian then turned his eyes to y/n and got up, coming closer to the couch on which she was sitting in "When Aelin told me that you have wings, I thought she was making things up. Turns out you do truly have wings! Very fascinating, by the way."

Dorian stood right infront of her now, extending his hand out for her to shake and as she took his hand in hers, he said with a blinding smile, "Dorian Haviliard the Second. King of Adarlan and....well, that's all, essentially."

"And Manon's lapdog" Aedion snorted from the table followed by other laughs and chuckles. Dorian just rolled his eyes "Ignore that one, he doesn't realize it but we all see how he follows and does whatever Lysandra says like a lovesick puppy."

Y/n smiled as Lysandra snickered while Aedion scoffed "Nice to meet you, your majesty. I'm y/n y/l/n, from Prythian. Specifically, the Illyrian mountains."

"Please, call me Dorian. I think you and I will get along just fine, y/n. Let's sit down and talk some time, yes?"

"Absolutely, Dorian."

She heard someone clear their throat as both y/n and Dorian looked to see Fenrys, with a blank look directed at the king beside her, say "Well, now that the plan is decided and the introductions are out of the way, can we start eating? I am hungry."

At that, Aelin voiced her agreement as Dorian went back to his place beside Manon and the servants brought food to the low table between y/n and Fenrys.

She would have to thank whoever's idea it was to make them sit on the couches because y/n didn't think she would be comfortable with her injured shoulder, sitting on one of those chairs and neither would the warrior sitting in front of her with his injured torso.

The room buzzed with conversation as they ate, the tension gradually easing with each passing moment. Dorian's voice rose occasionally above the others, regaling them with tales that drew laughter and camaraderie. Y/n found herself relaxing in the company of these extraordinary individuals, each with their own stories and struggles, yet united in their commitment to protecting their world.

But y/n noticed that Fenrys barely even touched his food despite claiming to be starved. She sighed as she took the fork and spoon to her hand, "For someone who said he was hungry, you haven't eaten much."

He just kept playing around with his meal, not eating anything "You two were taking too long with your introductions so I decided to do everyone a favor and end it."

Y/n raised an eyebrow as she took a bite of her meal, deciding to test the waters a bit.

"Well that's just rude Fenrys. I actually quite liked Dorian. I can see why Manon is with him. I mean, just look at that face-"

"One more word, I dare you."

The look on his face told her all she needed to know. Fenrys was jealous. In fact, he was burning with it as he stared her down, his gaze turning darker with each second.

Y/n licked her lips, her gaze never wavering from his as she watched him clench and unclench his hands (which seemed to be a habit of his when he is aroused or angry) while staring at her mouth.

"So, so charming too. The way he talks-"

Fenrys got up abruptly, the action causing a slight wince from him before he slowly started walking out of the room. Y/n got up to go after him but Lorcan beat her to it and as much as she hated the giant man for it, she knew they also had an issue to resolve and talk about.

Deciding to give them their moment, she slowly started heading back to her room, wincing whenever her shoulder would move too much.

"Where do you think you're going all on your own with an injury like that?"

Y/n turned around to see Lysandra slowly walking over to her in the hallway, arms crossed over her chest. The shifter reached her and took her uninjured arm, slowly helping her walk.

"I don't need to be coddled at all times, you know."

Lysandra just smirked but did not remove her hands from y/n's arm "I know, and I also know that the last time you woke up injured from a Valg attack and were left all on you own, you decided to venture out into the city with Nox and get yourself nearly killed by another Valg creation."

Y/n scoffed "You make it sound like I knew that would happen. I had no idea that Nox was even out there!"

Lysandra chuckled quietly as they turned a corner. "I know, I am sorry for ever doubting you. I truly like you now. Your commitment to helping us not only because you want to go home but also because you are worried that the Valg pose as a threat to everyone really made me trust you fully."

Y/n sighed, feeling a mixture of gratitude and guilt. Lysandra's support meant a lot to her, especially given the uncertainties they all faced. She leaned slightly on the shifter for support as they walked through the quiet palace corridors.

"I appreciate that, Lysandra," y/n replied earnestly. "I just... I can't sit idly by when there's a chance to make a difference. And after what happened with Nox, I understand the dangers better. And I think I am beginning to understand Elara's weird words."

Lysandra looked at her with a confused expression "Elara? Who in the Gods name is that?"

Y/n chuckled before replying "This woman who has appeared to me twice. Apparently, she is an iron teeth witch who has given me some very cryptic advice and disappeared before I could get answers to all of my questions. I really am stuck, needing to understand more about my powers and connections to this whole thing. And without her, I don't think I ever will."

She felt Lysandra stiffen beside her and stop abruptly, causing y/n to come to a halt as well. She stared at the ground, her eyes calculating as she seemed to slowly digest all that y/n just told her before whispering a "Maybe you don't even need her for answers."

Before y/n could even question her, the shifter quickly let go of y/n and ran back shouting over her shoulder, "Go to your room and wait for me there!"

Y/n, still very shocked and confused at what just happened, climbed up the last few stairs and headed to her bedchamber.

After around thirty minutes, Lysandra burst into her room with a scroll in her hand and Manon beside her. The second her eyes landed on y/n who was sitting on the couch near the window, she took quick strides to reach her. Once she was in front of the witch, Lysandra kneeled down, sitting on the low table in front of y/n and opening up the scroll. Manon also came to quickly stand beside her as she waited to hear what Lysandra had to say.

"This is an ancient text," Lysandra began, her voice filled with reverence. "It speaks of Elara, an iron teeth witch who lived centuries ago. She was not only powerful but also deeply connected to the magical gates that connect our world with others."

Y/n's breath caught in her throat. "Connected to the gates?"

"Yes," Lysandra confirmed, her eyes scanning the parchment. "Elara's abilities were linked to the gates themselves. She could open and close them at will, wielding their power to protect our realm from threats that sought to cross over."

"Wait. How....how do you know all this? How did you know about this scroll?"

Lysandra just looked at Manon, who was still staring at the shifter with a questioning look in her eyes, as she said, "Because Elara has been a legend in our world for as long as any of us can remember. Isn't that right, Manon? Even your grandmother knew of her."

Manon just crossed her arms, seemingly still questioning her, "I am aware of who Elara is. Even Rhiannon Crochan knew of her. Her name would always be whispered around our camps, our stories. What I don't understand is what you told me on the way, about y/n and Elara. Why is she contacting her? I don't mean this in an insulting way but, she has been known as a legend for so long that it is just unbelievable to hear this."

Y/n opened her mouth to reply but was cut off when Lysandra looked down at the scroll and continued, "Yes. Well, she has not only been a legend to Ironteeth Witches, but to the rest of us as well. I had this scroll with me ever since I can remember. I was just so fascinated with her that when I once came across it in one of the antique stores, I had to have it and with time, I began thinking maybe I was a fool for being so obsessed with her, her existence, thinking if she was real or not but....now I realize how she may be real after all."

Y/n's brows hit her hairline as she just gaped at the female in front of her "So you are telling me that I have talked with the most ancient, the most legendary witch of your world?"

"Maybe not even our world."

Both Manon and y/n looked at the shifter with furrowed brows, urging her to explain more.

"Elara was a legend. Her story though mostly unknown, was one full of bravery and sacrifice. She was a chosen one. Her powers being more than just iron teeth and nails. And her name....her name existed for centuries according to the scroll but...."

Y/n saw the realization dawn upon Manon as the witch beside her shifted her position, her eyes getting wider by the second "No way....Lysandra, if we are thinking the same thing then that- that would be impossible."

What? What was she talking about?

Lysandra just shook her head, a smile forming on her face "Would it though? I mean, her name may have stopped being mentioned in this world, in our books and scrolls but what if she went into another world? She did have that connection with the gates after all."

Manon slowly turned her head to y/n as she whispered, "And what if...."

Lysandra also looked at y/n as she said, "What if she went to Prythian, met a man, male, whatever.....had a child with him. A daughter, to be precise."

Manon added quietly, "A winged male and an iron teeth witch who had connection with the gates, who was a wyrdkey of sorts, to them. What could be the odds?"

Realization started to slowly dawn upon her as y/n just shifted her gaze from one female to the other. She laughed uneasily "No you two surely must be delusional. There is not a chance. No way in the seven hells are you suggesting that-"

"You are Elara's daughter." Both the witch and the shifter say at the same time.

No.

No.

It was impossible.

Was it though? You are an iron teeth witch who has wings and an unusual connection to the gates. It could be the only explana-

"Find Manon. Let her know. And find me again when you are ready."

Those were the words Elara had told her when she first appeared to her in an illusion created by the mirror in the crystal caverns.

She needs to go down there again and talk to her, somehow summon her.

Y/n needed answers and she needed them now.

When she came back from her thoughts, she saw both of them staring at her, one with wide eyes and the other with a knowing smile.

Y/n sighed "I- I need to process this. We can discuss this tomorrow."

Lysandra nodded, still smiling, "Of course, see you in the morning."

Then, she got up and dragged a wide eyed Manon who was stuck to her place, towards the door, closing it behind them.

The second the door was closed, y/n jumped from her position and went towards the hidden passageway in her room, getting a small knife, her lamp and a cloak. She removed the floorboard and began her descent.

She went through the same path as the last time. The same narrow ways, damp roads, circular door and the crystal caverns itself.

That last time felt like a lifetime ago, a time when she was still new to the revelations of her own abilities, still grappling with the mysteries of her lineage and the hidden truths of her past. Now, standing before the circular door once more, she felt a sense of resolve and determination, tempered by the wisdom gained through trials and discoveries.

With a steadying breath, y/n pushed open the door, the faint creak of ancient hinges echoing softly in the cavernous silence beyond. As she stepped into the crystal caverns, bathed in their gentle radiance, she knew that this time, she was not just seeking answers—she was ready to uncover the deeper truths that awaited her.

She took the small narrow road to where the mirror was and now standing before it, she had no idea what to do. Y/n stared and stared some more. She needed to think this through. How do you call Elara? The first time she appeared to y/n was because of an illusion that the mirror created and the second time was when y/n got attacked and fell unconscious later on.

So....what does she do now?

With a sigh, y/n said out loud while looking at her reflection in the ancient mirror, "I know. I know the truth now. You are my mother, aren't you?"

No answer, no reply. Nothing.

She still continued, "When we met for the first time, you told me to come find you when I was ready. I think I am ready now. Ready to see you......mother."

Before she could react, y/n saw as her surroundings become a blur, shifting until she was once more on the beach but this time, instead of the moon, there was the sun shining above, casting its glow over the waters.

And then, there was Elara, coming towards y/n with her white flowy dress and beautiful smile.

When the witch reached y/n, they didn't say anything to one another for a short moment, preferring to just look into one anothers gaze. Elara's eyes held a depth that seemed to reflect the eons she had witnessed, yet they softened with a tenderness as she regarded y/n. The wind whispered through the air, carrying the faint scent of salt and seaweed as they stood on the sun-kissed beach.

"My child," Elara finally spoke, her voice gentle yet resonant with an underlying power. "You have grown strong and resilient, despite the trials fate has woven into your path."

Y/n's tried to hold back her impending tears at the adoring way the woman called her. Instead, she whispered in a quiet tone, "Why....why didn't you tell this to me from the first time? Why did you leave me alone in that cruel place, in that monsters hands? Why wasn't my dad with me either? Why did you abandon me? Why- just why?!"

"My child," Elara began, her voice a gentle breeze that carried both warmth and sadness, "the reasons are not simple, nor are they easy to explain. But know this: every decision I made was out of love for you and a deep understanding of the dangers that surrounded us."

Y/n's eyes welled with tears, but she held Elara's gaze firmly, needing to hear the truth, however painful it might be. "I wish I could have been there with you," Elara continued, her voice soft yet steady. "But there are forces at play that even I cannot fully control. The realm of the Valg, their insidious presence, their hunger for power... It demanded sacrifices, and I made the hardest one of all by leaving you in that world."

"Why didn't you prepare me? Why did you let me believe I was alone?" y/n asked, her voice tinged with hurt.

Elara's expression softened further, regret etching lines on her face. "I wanted to protect you from the knowledge that would burden your heart and soul. I feared that if you knew too soon, it would consume you. And your father..." She paused, a shadow passing over her features. "Your father sacrificed himself to keep you safe."

Y/n's eyes widened with both shock and confusion, "W-what....what do you mean?"

Elara sighed and gently took y/n's hand in hers, caressing it "I fell in love, y/n. Your father and I loved each other so much that we couldn't imagine a life without the other. I thought....I thought that because I was in a different world, I would be able to live a normal life. We got a house in the very otskirts of Illyria, then we had you and you....you were the joy of our life my witchling. For a time, we were happy and at peace, just the three of us. And foolish me thought that this happiness could last forever. Oh how wrong I was."

Elara closed her eyes and inhaled sharply before continuing again, "Somehow, someway, the Valgs found me. Erawan found me. It was in the middle of the night when I felt their presence not so far off from where we used to stay. I quickly woke up your father....Marx, and told him what was going on. He ordered me to take you and run, told me that he would meet us on the edge of the mountains and we would run away together. The three of us. He hugged and kissed both you and me before I ran away with you in my arms while he stayed behind. Little did I know, that would be the last time I would ever see him again."

Elara's eyes were teary now as she gave a sad smile to her daughter "Marx never came. And I knew....I knew that he did not make it. But I had to go back, I had to. I brought this disaster with me. However, I also needed to keep you safe. So, I put you in front of a door of the first proper looking house I could find. I had no time to think, no time to plan. I placed a protective spell over you, kissed and hugged you for one last time, said my blessings over you, and then I was gone. If I only knew what a monster I was giving you to, my witchling. And for that, I am sorry. I am so sorry my heart. But I couldn't let them know that I had a daughter. That I had someone I cared for. Or else, they would have come for you as well, which they seem to be doing now."

Y/n couldn't believe this. She couldn't believe what she was hearing, what her mother was telling her. Her father.....her brave father had secrificed himself to keep his family safe.

With a shaky breath, y/n's grip on her mother's hand tightened as she asked "And did you....did you find him?"

Elara slowly nodded her head, eyes seemingly lost in the terrible memory of finding her lovers body in whatever condition it was. She didn't say more and y/n didn't ask more, seemingly afraid of hearing just how she found his body.

But she did ask, her voice shaky now due to the tears that began to fall, "Where...where did you go? Where are you?"

Elara's eyes softened with sorrow as she gently squeezed y/n's hand. "After I left you, I wandered through dimensions, seeking refuge where the Valg could not reach. I sought allies, learned ancient magics, and built defenses against their relentless pursuit. But with every step I took to protect you, I grew farther from the life I once knew."

She paused, her voice thick with emotion. "Eventually, I found solace in a realm untouched by the Valg's corruption. It is a place where time flows differently, where the energies are harmonious and the darkness cannot penetrate. There, I have been watching over you, my dear, waiting for the right moment."

Elara's gaze was filled with maternal love. "You are stronger than I could have ever imagined, y/n. You carry within you the blood of our lineage, a legacy of resilience and magic. And now, as the Valg threaten once more, you must end them completely. My power of connecting to the gates, connecting with the Book of Breathings is installed in you as well. The book knew that you were my descendant from the moment it fell into Rhysands hands. Even though Erawan is dead, somehow the Valgs are returning. You must figure that out. They felt your presence, your true lineage the second the book transported you."

So much was going on. Y/n had so much to say and ask but all she asked was, "How can I bring you back to me....mother."

Elaras eyes lit up at that before she raised her hands and gently caressed her daughter's cheek "You can not. I waited all this time for you to finally realize who you were, what your destiny was and now....now that I have guided you, it is time for me to go-"

"No! Are you mad?! We just reunited! I can not loose you-"

"You will never loose me, my Braveheart. You will always have me, my presence will always guide you on your journey. But I have lived for so long, it is time for me to rest as well, time to rejoin with my love, your father, Marx."

Y/n was fully crying by now, as she agressively shook her head, "No! Mother, please!"

Elara leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead before hugging her and whispering, "Your father and I have loved you from the moment we laid our eyes on you. And we will keep loving you for eternity, our witchling. We are so proud of you, of how strong, resilient, and brave you are. Of how you endured so much and yet came out even stronger. Always remember who you are, what your power is and end them. Once and for all, end them."

And with that, y/n's surrounding began to blur once more as she felt herself falling and falling until her eyes popped open and she was....in her room. Sitting on the bed. Wasn't she in the crystal caverns? How is she here?

But y/n didn't care. Didn't ponder over those questions as the memory of what just happened took over her mind, making her silently weep into her arms.

Fenrys was frustrated. At what? he didn't know.

At whom? He did know. At himself.

He doesn't understand this....this attraction, this pull he has towards y/n. Whenever they are in the same room, his eyes somehow end up on her, his body somehow finds its way to wherever she is. Whenever she is hurt or in danger? He turns into this violent killer who only thinks of one thing: Protect her. Kill everyone else.

It was starting to get frustrating how he felt all kinds of emotions towards her. How his mind began thinking of her.

Last night during dinner, he was annoyed with how Dorian kept on talking to her. Fenrys knew that Dorian didn't see y/n in that way, after all....he had his eyes on the witch and only on her. Even if they both refused it, everyone and their mother saw how those two were hopelessly in love with one another.

So why did he want to punch Dorian in the face when he saw how the king was the one to make her laugh and not him?

And then, during dinner, y/n's teasing just added to his growing frustration and lust. The way she talked, the way she purposefully kept licking her lips made him want to just take her then and there, in front of everyone.

Fenrys knew that this was wrong, that she would leave sooner or later so feeling this possessive, this claiming need within him was just stupid. But could he stop it? No, no he couldn't.

Last night, after he stood up and left, he saw her get up too and he wanted her to follow him. Fenrys knew that if she would follow him, he wouldn't have been able to keep his hands to himself this time. That he would have made his fantasies about her come true. But then, Lorcan came after him and Fenrys saw how y/n contemplated on following him before clearly choosing not to.

He did feel disappointed but that was forgotten the second Lorcan caught up with him and they began walking side by side through the halls of the palace. He had apologized to Fenrys and Fenrys was absolutely shocked that Lorcan of all people was apologizing. Fenrys could have asked for forgiveness as well, for what he did to his lifelong companion but....he felt no guilt or remorse for protecting y/n's honor, for getting justice for her.

Gods, Fenrys, since when have you gone this mad and caused chaos over a female. That's right, never. So why her? Why now?

These were the questions he kept asking himself while going back to the palace after his morning training when he heard another roar. And no, this wasn't Abraxos because he had already memorized the wyvern's noises by heart. This was another wyvern, this was...Fenrys lifted his head skywards as he saw....Petrah Blueblood.

He remembers the witch whom he came to care for. The poor girl went through so much, just like Manon. He remembers how after the war, when he would go to the Witch Kingdom, he would see Petrah who was now Manon's second in command and how she would still mourn the loss of her wyvern, Keelie. Killed by Iskra Yellowlegs.

This wyvern was one of the few who hatched after the war and Petrah was immediately drawn to it. She raised it all on her own and it grew up to be very large. It was also a female whom she named Luna.

But, what was she doing here now? That's when he also saw Manon and Abraxos in the opening, waiting for her and Luna to land.

He approached Manon while Petrah and Luna were still a little bit away, and spoke first, "Well, this is certainly not what I expected to see first thing in the morning."

Manon just crossed her arms, still looking towards wherever Petrah was in the sky, as she replied, "I needed Petrah with us for this hunt. Her wyvern is very good with smell, she has the unique abilitiy to scent things that are miles and miles away. Besides, Petrah said that she had news she wanted to tell me face to face....and maybe she was also curious about y/n."

He saw how at the mention of her name, Manon's face turned amused, how her eyes held a mixture of wonder and pride. She clearly was thinking of something and Fenrys desperately wanted to know what because it involved y/n but just as he was about to ask, Luna landed right next to Abraxos who was seemingly growing smitten with the female wyvern as they rumbled at one another and Petrah came down.

She and Manon exchanged their witchy greeting, whatever that is before Petrah smiled at Fenrys "How nice to see you again."

Fenrys returned her smile with one of his own "Nice to see you doing well, Petrah."

The witch nodded her gratitude before looking back at Manon "One of our witches was somehow working for the Valg, the second I found out about this, I ordered for her capture and questioning, but she wouldn't talk."

Manon just raised an eyebrow "Was she infested with Valg-"

"No. She was working for them, willingly. Why? I don't know."

"Don't tell me you killed her without getting any answers out of her first."

Petrah just smirked at her queen "You are really underestimating me now, Manon. I gave the order for her to be tortured just last night and immediately flew over here to deliver the news. Whatever information the witches get out of her now, they will send the news immediately."

The queen just nodded her head while Fenrys asked, "How did you even find out about this?"

Petrah shrugged her shoulders "I have my ways, wolf."

"There will be a ball tonight, keep your eyes open and alert at all times. Anything might happen."

Petrah nodded at her queen as Fenrys just said his farewell to the witches before heading towards his room for a much needed bath.

Y/n slept through the whole day. The whole day! waking up when it was already sunset. Clearly, all the events of the last fews days have drained her beyond repair. And what she found out about last night.....she cried until she physically couldn't anymore and probably fell asleep.

When she awoke, there was a note right next to her on the bed:

You must be really tired especially after what we told you last night but, if you wake up, remember there is a ball tonight late in the afternoon.

Hope you're well,

Lysandra

Oh, yes! The ball! she completely forgot!

Y/n noticed that there was only an hour until the start of the event and immediately jumped out of her bed, hissing loudly when her shoulder hurt from the movement. But, she quickly recovered and headed towards her closet in search of an appropriate dress.

Fourty minutes later, y/n stood in the center of her room, her hair made and jeweleries shining as she admired her beautiful dress.

The dress was crafted from a flowing, soft fabric like silk, in a shade of deep midnight blue that shimmers subtly under the light. The neckline is modest yet elegant, gently framing the collarbones without revealing too much. The sleeves are three-quarter length, providing coverage while allowing the injured shoulder freedom of movement.

The waist is cinched with a delicate sash, adding a touch of definition without restricting comfort. As the dress cascades down, it drapes gracefully to the floor, accentuating the figure without being form-fitting.

The simplicity of the design is elevated by intricate embroidery along the neckline and cuffs, catching the eye with its understated elegance. This dress not only exudes charm and sophistication but also ensures ease of movement.

With a final look at herself, y/n left her room and descended the stairs, heading towards the event.

Twenty minutes later, the room was filled with people whom, y/n guessed to be very important. When she arrived, she saw most of Aelin's court already here, had a round of drinks with Lysandra and Lorcan, danced a little with Eva and Elide, got on Aedion and Rowan's nerves, watched together with Yrene how Aelin greets her guests, talked a little more with Dorian and Chaol, and met Manon who had another witch next to her, Petrah Blueblood.

She was also very beautiful. Her skin was as pale as Manon's but adorned with freckles, had a long golden, flowy hair and had deep blue eyes. When Manon introduced them, Petrah gave y/n a genuine smile and told her how happy she was to meet her. How y/n was known as a winged ironteeth whom every witch wanted to meet now that Manon mentioned her to them.

Y/n felt honored, grateful but surprised and a little flustered as well as she said her thanks and chatted a little more with the witches before excusing herself in search of someone else. In search of him. She didn't see Fenrys yet but she knew that he was in the room, watching her. She felt his eyes on her once again. Seems like they had this thing where he would watch her and she would put on a show for him.

But then, their eyes met and y/n felt weak in the knees. Fenrys was there, standing in the corner with a drink in his hand, watching her with an intense gaze. He was so handsome, hair put in a half bun, some strands falling in front of his handsome face, his tailored coat of deep midnight blue was interwoven with threads that shimmer subtly under the light. The coat is fitted at the shoulders and chest, tapering slightly at the waist before flaring out slightly over sturdy trousers of the same hue.

Beneath the coat, a high-collared shirt in a lighter shade of blue peeks out, adding a hint of contrast and sophistication. The sleeves of the shirt are gathered at the wrists with intricate embroidery in silver and his boots are sturdy leather, polished to a deep sheen.

He was beyond handsome, beyond attractive. He was otherworldly, seemingly crafted out of the finest form of marble. She really wanted to do less than appropriate things to him right now and from the way his eyes were eating her whole, he was thinking the same.

Y/n was so entranced with him that she failed to notice Nox Owens come and stand beside her, offering her a drink.

"And so we meet again, my partner in hunting Valgs."

She hesitantly pulled her gaze away from Fenrys and turned to loook at the man beside her, taking the drink in his hand while thanking him.

Y/n took a sip of the drink, feeling the cool liquid soothe her parched throat. Nox stood beside her, his posture relaxed yet alert, his eyes scanning the room with a practiced ease.

She said, "Good to see you're doing well."

Nox looked at her, a smirk forming on his handsome face, "Well, if the Valgs want me dead, they have got to try harder than pushing me onto the ground."

"Thank you, for everything Nox, without your help, I don't think we could've survived that monster."

He just shrugged his shoulder and was seemingly about to say something when she felt Fenrys right behind her. His chest was touching her back, causing goosebumps to rise all over her body.

He said behind her, in that voice of whiskey and sin, "I need to talk to you."

Wthout even waiting for a reaction from her or Nox, Fenrys took her drink, put it on the nearby table, grabbed her arm, and dragged her out of the ball.

He found an unusued, dark room and entered it, still holding her by the arm before closing the door. Y/n ripped her arm away from his grip before looking at him, her arms crossed "Fenrys what in the seven hells are you doing?!"

He didn't reply, his gaze just intensified, those wild eyes zoning in on her lips. While that action did a lot of things to her body, y/n was still angry at him.

"Fenrys! Look at me, what is wro-"

Before she could even continue, he took two quick strides to reach her and tilted her face toward him with his fingers.

All the air was sucked out of her body as y/n realized their position. His face was mere inches away from her, their bodies nearly touching, his lips right in front of hers.

He was clearly holding himself back, he was restraining himself. And for some foolish reason, she didn't want him to.

"Kiss me"

Y/n realized her words only a second after she said them, but she wasn't ashamed, no. She wanted this. Wanted him. Tomorrow, tomorrow she would think about her actions, tomorrow she would be a responsible, levelheaded female once more. But just for tonight, in this dark room, this would be their little secret.

Fenrys' eyes widened, his chest heaving, "Y/n..."

"Kiss me, Fenrys."

And he did. He kissed her so quickly, their lips meeting in an urgent collision. It wasn't a soft, loving, intimate kiss. No, it was rough, needy and full of lust. His hand went to her waist, bringing her closer to him, their bodies joined as one, the other held her by the back of her neck, bringing her closer to him.

Y/n's hands were in his hair as she kissed him just as urgently. He pushed her towards the wall, caging her between himself and the stone behind her.

It was during this intense moment that a nock came on the door.

"Y/n? Are you there? Come quickly, we need to talk!"

It was Lysandra, her voice shattering the growing lust between them, bringing them back to reality. Fenrys' eyes widened as he pushed away from her and looked towards the door.

"Fenrys-"

"This never should've happened. This is wrong."

Without even looking at her, he went towards the door, unlocked it and pushed past an amused Lysandra, heading towards the main doors.

Y/n barely had time to recollect her thoughts when Lysandra just looked at her with raised eyebrows and a small smile, saying "We have a guest, specifically asked for you. Says he is from Prythian."

What?!

Y/n just nodded "Show me"

They went towards the sitting room at the other end of the hall and once Lysandra opened the door, y/n thought she was seeing things.

Lucien was here. Lucien.

It was actually him. He wasn't a transparent ghost like Amren was, he was here, in his physical body.

He looked awful. His hair a mess of twigs and mud, his clothes crumpled and dirty, his eyes wide as he looked at her.

Everyone except Rowan and Aelin was in the room, clearly because they were the hosts of the ball, and of course Fenrys was nowehere to be seen either.

She would deal with him later. Now, now as she took this redhead in-

His hands, they were holding the Book of Breathings.

Lucien came closer to her "Y/n!"

Y/n's shock was written all over her face as she looked at him with wide eyes, "Lucien! What in the Mothers name are you doing here?!"

His eyes looked all over the room, at everyone, and then came back to her as well as he said "Y/n.....Mother above, finally....I-"

Y/n gently put her hand on his shoulder "Lu, what- how did you find me? How did you get the book?"

He just sighed and closed his eyes, "You might want to sit down for this."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/n: Omg! Our fox boy is here! I wonder what will happen next ;)

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[vixstarria]

Communication

Surprise surprise, they're no good at it.

This is a continuation of my in-game bardlock series, seeing as I left a large gap in it between an intimate and emotional scene and a whole bunch of unhinged fucking. Sorry about that.

Takes place after Intimacy but can be read as a stand-alone!

Read on AO3

Astarion x named f!Tav

Early Act 3. It has been nice, but it's time they actually figured out what it is they're doing and what comes next.

Hurt/comfort, some fluff and a drop of humour (I am me after all) if you squint, love, angst

TW: some very casual violence and murder

Approximately 3.9k words. 

“Well?” A very giddy Astarion had appeared behind Asmodea. “Let’s go!” 

The party had finally reached the outskirts of Baldur’s Gate and were setting up camp near Rivington, after a brief excursion in the area. 

“Go where?” she asked.

“Anywhere! I haven’t seen these streets in sunlight in two centuries.” 

“Now..?”

The city was flooded with refugees. Some child whose mother was definitely not coming for her had seemingly declared herself adopted by the group. There was a towering pile of corpses just outside one of the nearby gates. A circus was in town.

It was nice to finally be back in civilisation.

“Yes, now! Forget the bloody tent, maybe we’ll find an inn to sleep in for a change.”

Nothing had been arranged, set up or planned yet. They had only the vaguest notion of where they were going.

“Sure, a walk sounds lovely right now,” shrugged Asmodea.

It very quickly became obvious that finding an inn would be nigh on impossible. The streets were crowded with refugees, frantic citizens and all those who would either try to keep them in order or prey upon them.

“Are we going anywhere in particular, or are we just... going?” Asmodea asked, trying to make her way through the throng. She had never seen Baldur’s Gate this busy before. 

“There is something I’d like to show you,” answered Astarion. “Some place, to be exact. It’s- hey!”

He realised that he was talking to no one, as they had been separated by a group of dwarves pushing their way through between them. Asmodea smiled at him over their heads, raising her arms in an open-palmed gesture of defeat and resignation.

“Can’t you keep up?” Astarion sighed, rolling his eyes, and reached for her, taking her hand and linking his fingers through hers.

This… This was new, particularly in public, and Asmodea bit her lip, fighting not to smile, as he guided her after him. 

Astarion glanced back over his shoulder at her, to see her grinning. 

“Oh shut up,” he huffed, before spilling into a smile too, despite himself, and drawing her close to kiss her.

“Half-elven whore,” a nearby elven woman muttered to her companion in elvish, tsking in distaste at the sight. Either she did not expect to be heard or understood, or simply did not care.

Astarion turned towards the woman, with a glower, but before he could retaliate with his own snide remark, Asmodea told the elven woman to go fuck herself with a splintered broom, in perfect elvish, and pulled Astarion further down the street before the woman thought of anything else to say.

“Such... delightful use of the True Tongue, dear.” Astarion seemed in equal parts impressed and taken aback. “Don't tell me you’ve been holding out on me this whole time..?”

“Oh, no, I only know a little bit,” laughed Asmodea. 

“Do indulge me.” 

“No, it’s really hardly anything,” she shook her head. “I can count, exchange pleasantries and profanities, know a few songs I can’t translate, and a few odd phrases.” 

“Such as?” 

“I can scream for help in elvish, for one,” she offered. 

“Why would you need to scream for help in elvish..?” 

“Men are more likely to come running if they think it’s a little elven maiden they’re rescuing,” she explained with a sigh. 

Astarion mulled that over with a frown for a bit. 

“I’ll have to take your word for that... What else? And for hells’ sake, just say something, I enjoyed hearing it.” 

She said the first phrase that came to mind.  

Astarion stopped dead in his tracks, with what Asmodea knew to be the expression he held when he was doing his best to keep his face straight.  

“So let’s start with what you think you just said.” 

“...Shit. ...Uhh.” Asmodea gave Astarion a sheepish look. “‘My small children have had nothing to eat for days.’?” 

“Darling,” he said, cupping her cheeks, trying not to laugh. “My love. That’s not quite it... Now, how many people do you think you’ve told you’ve ‘eaten nothing but small children for days’..?” 

“Ah... That explains the reactions,” Asmodea said thoughtfully. 

“Horror?” Astarion finally snickered.

“Usually laughter... I just figured most elves were assholes.” 

Eventually Astarion brought them onto a rooftop that offered an impressive view of the city and surrounding regions.

“It’s so strange to be here in daylight,” he murmured. “This was one of my spots,” he said, turning to Asmodea. “I used to come here at the start of my evenings, alone, and just… enjoy the peace and quiet for a while.” Astarion took a pensive look around. “Admittedly, the tiles weren’t as hot at night, and all the bird shit wasn’t as prominent.” 

They found a place to sit down.

“I thought you would try to get your job done as quickly as possible,” said Asmodea.

“There had to be a certain balance to it.” Astarion shook his head. “Start prowling too early, and the potential targets wouldn’t be ripe for the picking yet. And even if I managed to get someone back to the manor early on in the evening, it would only mean I would have to ‘entertain’ them longer.” He shut his eyes and leaned back against a chimney. “It was better to take some precious solitary repose, when I could.”

“Do you think you might have taken me back to Cazador if you’d met me back then?” Asmodea asked quietly.

Astarion opened his eyes and frowned at the sudden question. 

“Not if I’d ever seen you perform, no,” he deliberated. “I never went for the bards. They were almost my co-conspirators, though they didn’t know it. I couldn’t waste them.” He paused before continuing. “But otherwise, if I’d just bumped into you at a Tavern… Probably, yes. A pretty, reckless stray… You would have been perfect. …Would you have followed?” He asked, glancing at her.

“Probably,” she replied, staring off into the distance.

They sat in silence until Astarion broke it with a question.

“Will you stay with me when all this is over?” 

Just the sheer amount of effort he put into trying to make that question sound casual spoke volumes. 

It caught her off guard. They’d spent many evenings in his tent lazily basking in vague fantasies about an ‘after’, usually concentrating on the idea of being able to stay in bed all day, or the concept of their hair and fingernails being free of dried blood and entrails for a change. They’d never actually discussed any realistic nuance of this ‘after’. Or what it might look like, other than what it wouldn’t look like. 

“Are you certain you want to take Cazador’s place in the ritual..?” she asked, carefully. 

“Why shouldn’t I?” Astarion immediately sounded defensive. 

“You don’t even know what it entails or means, not really...” 

“It means having everything I’ve been missing the past two centuries, what else is there to know?” He scoffed. “...You haven’t answered my question,” he said after a pause. 

She said nothing for a while, looking down at her fingernails. 

“Stay and do what..?” 

“Anything!” he exclaimed. “Anything you want. We could do anything. Do you have any idea what I will be capable of? Of the power I will hold. The influence.”

“Yes, yes, legions of wolves, turning into mist,” she recited. “What else… Commanding ghouls, I think?” She threw her head back, looking at the sky. “I’m not sure why you would need to do any of that, though.”

“Unimaginable power, and you mock it…” Astarion said indignantly. “I suppose you would rather go frolic in the woods with Halsin..? …Oh don’t look so shocked, I’ve seen how he looks at you. Sleeping in the dirt, living off the land. Is that what would make you happy?” 

“He looks at you the same way! And must you jump to extremes?” She let out an exasperated sigh. “Even if I were interested in Halsin, there is ample space between sleeping in the dirt and sleeping in that gothic monstrosity, in which I might find myself happy.” 

They sat in silence for a while. 

“I don’t think you should go through with it,” she said, finally. “Something about it just doesn’t sit right.” 

Astarion looked at her with an unreadable expression and didn’t say anything. She continued. 

“I know enough stories - and before you roll your eyes at me, there is usually a grain of truth to them – and I’ve read between the lines of enough history texts, to know there is no such thing as a jolly vampire lord that just has a grand ol’ time carousing in their castle. It’s always centred on cruelty, misery and violence.” 

“I suppose you know plenty of stories of jolly vampire spawn,” he spat. 

“Some, as a matter of fact. They usually revolve around romance and redemption.” She sighed and continued, as he let out a bitter laugh. “I’ve never heard of any demonic deals that ended in anything that wasn’t disastrous, either. The point is, nothing that involves blood or soul sacrifice has ever made anyone happy.” She looked in the direction of Cazador’s palace. “We should kill Cazador, burn it all to the ground and dance on the ashes. I will be by your side. And yes, I want to stay with you. Of course I do.” 

“For how long?” Astarion asked quietly, after a pause. 

“...What?” 

“How long will you stay by my side? You have another... 100 years, 150 at best? I can’t offer any solutions to that as a spawn.” 

She blinked, realisation dawning in her eyes.

“...Astarion Ancunin, did you just say you want to spend the rest of eternity with me?” 

“Oh don’t you bloody dare turn this into a joke,” he bristled. “Just for once.”

“Not a joke, but…” She paused and gave her head a brisk shake, as if to snap herself out of a daze. “Just so we’re absolutely clear, what are you saying?”

“Isn’t it obvious..?” The grin that had crept habitually onto Astarion’s face felt like a suffocating mask. She only stared back into his eyes, unblinking, waiting for him to continue. “I could turn you. Grant you an eternity.” ‘With me’, he wanted to add, but the look in her eyes made the words die on his tongue.

None of this was going the way Astarion had expected. Not that he had planned any of this… Still, he’d made certain assumptions. He’d anticipated the conversation and day would flow somewhere along the following lines: re-affirm his plans for Cazador. Exchange words of undying love and devotion. Maybe, maybe make love to her again, later, in celebration. Instead everything was slipping like fine sand through his fingers. Words simply wouldn’t come out of his mouth. Everything he thought he might say suddenly felt pathetic.

“Turn me? To become one of your spawn?” Astarion opened his mouth to speak, but she talked over him. “Two centuries as something you say is less than a slave, a puppet, and you would so easily offer the same fate to me..?”

“First of all,” he sputtered, “I don’t know why you immediately assumed there would be others. Secondly,” he continued, slowing down, “there is another way, or so I’ve read. You wouldn’t be a mere spawn, but a-” Astarion winced, cutting himself off. “Never mind,” he said, shaking his head. This was rapidly spinning further and further out of his control. “I thought you trusted me?” he asked instead.

“It’s not about trust,” she said. “If you had the choice between a hundred years of absolute freedom or being enthralled to someone for eternity - doesn’t matter who - me, Gale, your long-lost grandmother, anyone! What would you choose?”

“I would never compel you,” said Astarion, his voice tinged with a hint of pleading.

“That’s not the point,” she said, looking away, running her hand through and tugging at her hair. “Let’s just head back. We still need to set up before it gets dark, and I promised Karlach we would visit that bloody circus…”

Something inside Astarion shattered and spilled, ice-cold, over his heart as she got up and walked away. 

Not even an hour had passed since some of the happiest moments he’s had in centuries.

They walked back in silence. 

Eventually they came upon an outpost of Flaming Fists and steel watchers, who had appeared on the road they had taken into the city. They were apprehending everyone trying to pass through, whether they were leaving or entering. 

“Let’s try a side street,” offered Astarion. 

They found and made their way through a narrow alleyway. It was empty. Suspiciously empty, in fact - no children running through, no one out for a quick smoke, no drunks pissing on the walls.

Sure enough, once they were halfway through, three goons intercepted their way, stepping out of a doorway. Two humans and an enormous half-orc wide enough to block out most of the passage. 

“Alley toll.” One of the thugs flashed a malicious grin, eyeing Asmodea up and down. “Better pay up, doll.” Three more jeering hoodlums appeared behind them as he spoke, armed with crude but lethal weapons. 

“Attempting to detain a Council battlemage on duty? Bold but stupid,” she said gravely. “Hand over your profits and Lord Gortash won’t learn of your little enterprise. This is your only warning.” 

Trying to bluff and deceive her way through, per usual. Was there even a Council anymore? Did it employ mages? No matter. Whether due to the fact that she and Astarion had decided to wander the streets of the city in civilian clothes, without armour, or simply because the lust for money and violence had gotten the better of the would-be muggers, they paid her attempt no heed. 

The leader laughed.

“Or, how about we have some fun with you, and your Lord Gortash can come and collect your body from the river once we’re done with it?”

Astarion’s blood boiled.

He reached for his daggers, thoughts racing. Why in the hells had they come here barely armed..? They were surrounded, but perhaps if she blasted the three in front of them they might run through..? But they were probably too close for that… Could she misty step behind them and get away? His undead body would most likely survive whatever came, even with the tadpole. 

“Take the ones behind,” Asmodea snapped, and Astarion followed her lead, as he had grown used to, silently praying to no particular deity that she knew what she was doing. 

He ducked as one of the goons bellowed and swung a sword at him, dodging the blow to come up next to his attacker, burying a dagger between his ribs and another in his guts, for good measure. At least the alley was too narrow for all of the bandits to come in on them at once. Behind him, Asmodea spat some incantation that he wasn’t familiar with.

The next lout came at him, only to stop short, as Astarion scrounged up his meagre magical abilities to hurl a firebolt at his face, making the man yelp and grind to a halt in shock and pain. Astarion’s dagger followed through his eye socket shortly thereafter. 

The entire altercation with the two thugs took mere seconds. Another controlled shout from Asmodea followed behind him.

The last of the muggers on Astarion’s side backed away, looking at the scene unfolding behind Astarion with a horrified expression, before breaking into a run and disappearing. 

Astarion turned back to witness Asmodea standing with her arms crossed, looking unaffected, just as the half-orc who had been behind the group’s leader pulled his sword back out from the leader’s stomach, having impaled him from behind.

Asmodea barked another command as the leader collapsed, and the half-orc slammed the head of his other cohort, who hadn’t understood what was happening yet, against a wall, with a resounding crunch. 

A domination spell. 

Astarion felt nauseous. If his body had been capable of producing bile, it would have crept up at the back of his throat. For once, the smell of freshly spilled blood all around them was repulsive to him.

 “Kneel,” Asmodea commanded, calmly. The half-orc’s body immediately dropped to its knees, with a thud that spoke of damaged kneecaps.

“I’m running out of time. Do you need him?” She stepped over the body of the group’s dying ex-leader and walked around the half-orc, to stand behind him. 

Disgust and revulsion continued to claw at Astarion’s insides. 

“…What?”

The half-orc’s eyes were void of any emotion. A small mercy.

“Blood. Do you want his blood, before I spill it?” she said nonchalantly.

“…No,” he swallowed. Not like this…

He watched as she slit his throat, carefully standing behind him to avoid blood spraying over herself. Comprehension returned to the man’s eyes just as he made his last gurgling sounds, before stilling forever. 

“That was despicable,” Astarion hissed, finally breaking his gaze away from the body. “Compulsion? Really?!”

She gave him an incredulous look, momentarily speechless.

“This is what I do!” she exclaimed. “This is how I protect myself. You know this! What the fuck did you expect - that I would set off a fireball in an alley?! Or make one of them have a fit of giggles?!”

“You didn’t need to do anything, I could have handled all of them,” he countered.

“Oh, stand behind you like a meek little lamb?” She scoffed. “While neither of us are even wearing armour, and they’re on both sides? Don’t be ridiculous.” She crouched to wipe her dagger on the dead man’s clothes. “What does it matter, anyway,” she said, offhanded. “Dead is dead - who cares how they got there?” 

“It was just like Cazador all over again,” Astarion said, bitterly. “Watching my siblings torture each other, for his amusement, waiting for it to be my turn to be compelled.”

She stilled as she crouched, not looking up at him. 

“You fucking hypocrite,” she said, finally, rising. 

“What in the hells are you talking about?” he grimaced.

“Comparing me to Cazador, when you’re planning to take his very place.”

“How dare you?” Astarion felt the last of his composure leaving him. “I am nothing like Cazador, and I never will be,” he growled.

“No?” She narrowed her eyes. “You’re already thinking of your own spawn. Maybe you would keep your word and not compel me, but you would be curious. All that power that you’ve been wishing was yours for 200 years...” She gesticulated, tilting her head. “First just one teensy little slave - someone who’s wronged you, maybe, someone who deserves to bear your ire. Then, perhaps someone convenient, in a place of power. Someone like what you would have been, had Cazador not botched your death so bad that it became public. Then another. And another. And what will you do with them once you have them? Take them for midnight picnics and host slumber parties?” 

She spat on the ground. 

“I’m going back to camp.”

She stormed off, fuming, exiting the alleyway and mixing into the crowd. Astarion followed at a distance, discreetly wiping the blood that had landed on his hands on the shirt of a random passerby that stumbled out in front of him. He gritted his teeth, watching her.

It had taken every last bit of his self-control to not snap back at her during her little tirade. 

He wanted to stalk off in the opposite direction, but frankly all his things were at the campsite, and he still needed the group’s help, both with Cazador and the tadpole. And he couldn’t discount something else happening to her on the way back. 

No, none of this was what he thought would end up happening today. Was this the end..?

It didn’t matter, he thought. Let her be stubborn. Let her accuse him of gods know what. He would do what he had set out to do. Hells, even if she changed her mind later - it would be too late. Let her live out her “hundred years of freedom” in regret.

And how fucking dare she?! Insinuating that he was or could ever be anything like Cazador. After all he had given her. His trust. His love. He didn’t have anything else. Not as a spawn, anyway.

But perhaps she would change her mind, after she gave his proposal more thought..? He could talk her into it, couldn’t he? He’s talked so many people into doing exactly what he wanted them to do…

There was no point in anything otherwise. It was all for her. All he wanted for himself was revenge. Freedom. Safety. But all the power in the world was meaningless if he couldn’t share it with her.

Astarion winced at the thought, hating that it even crossed his mind. If only he could claw it out of his brain and smash it against the cobbles beneath his feet. How much simpler life would be.

He would not grovel. He would not apologise. He would not change his mind. And he would rather die, again, than be caught running after her like a dog. 

Astarion cursed, slipped into the shadows and turned invisible, breaking into a sprint. He wouldn’t be able to replicate the trick for a while now, if the need arose, but he couldn’t care less. 

He raced up sets of stairs, speeding through a terrace, dodging the patrons of whatever establishment it was he was going through, and leaped, unseen, onto the next building’s, until he was ahead of her, descending back onto the ground and losing his invisibility around the corner from the main street, stepping out just in front of her. 

He caught a glimpse of her scowling and furiously blinking away tears just before she crashed into his chest with a light gasp, as he wrapped his arms around her. She was stiff and rigid, but at least she didn’t try to push him away. Still, a part of him was screaming that it was already too late.

“I don’t want you to have to commit those atrocities when you’re with me,” Astarion murmured into her hair, holding her close.

“You’d rather commit them yourself?” she retorted, her voice weak.

“I don’t want to,” he said quietly, as she seemed to become more malleable, and sank into his embrace, slowly wrapping her own arms around his back. “But I will if I have to. For you.”

“That makes two of us, I guess,” she managed, sounding choked up. 

Astarion took a deep breath, relieved. Mine… Still mine… He thought to himself, touching his forehead against hers and stroking her cheek. Someone in the street heckled them, yelling something about getting a room.

“I already don’t have much to offer, beyond all my burdens,” he whispered. She looked up at him, eyes glistening. She tried to protest, but he pressed a finger to her lips. “I want to do what I can, for you. For us. What good am I if I can’t even keep you safe?”

He pressed his lips against her forehead as she hugged him tighter. He had no idea whether he had convinced her of anything, or if she simply didn’t have the will to argue anymore, but for now it didn’t matter.

“I will love you no matter what,” she breathed.

Another jeer followed from the crowd, and someone cursed at them to get out of the way.

“A legion of wolves sounds tempting right about now,” she added, as he smiled.

“Do you still want to get Karlach and go to that circus?” he asked.

“Fuck the circus,” she mumbled into his shirt. “But I guess we should.”

They made their way back to the camp, fingers interlocked again. The silence that stretched once more almost felt comfortable this time.

~~~~~

Thanks for reading!

This is the last in-game part of the series for now (aside from some smut - see below). If you want to continue reading about my Tav and Astarion, go ahead and check out Bloodbang Chronicles which takes place 5 years after the end of the game.

Series master list

Next in in-game series - A night at the inn (branches off into smut)

AO3

~~~~~

Tag list:

@littleenglishfangirl @something-pithy @darlingxdragon @tallymonster @tragedybunny

@spunky-89 @acourtofpenandpaper @yoonshope @lariatbunny @whiskeyskin

@asterordinary @wingsy-keeper-of-songs @spacebarbarianweird @brabblesblog @littlejuicebox

@icybluepenguin @snowfolly @ayselluna @mj-bites @bardic-inspo

[mybelovedwoo]

Boyfriend hongjoong or mingi PLEASE?

Thank u so much for your request! I will do Hongjoong now as he was the first one you wrote, but I will do Mingi in the future too!!

kim hongjoong as boyfriend - headcanon

headcanon, romance, fluff, smut

gn!reader x bf!atz

wc. ~0.8k

an: you can request headcanons if you want to (please only headcanons)!! if you want to be tagged in any of my fics you can apply here <3

masterlist

-the always admires you from far away type of boyfriend

-like he always has such heart eyes for you whenever you go somewhere together, you are talking about something in a group setting, he always listens to your every word carefully, he never disappoints you, or he sees how good you're getting along with his members, he smiles at you with that lovesick smile of his

-but sometimes he can get a little jealous too, we know he's an extreme scorpio, like is anyone surprised honestly?

-probably spends most of his time at the studio, but doesn't mind when you accompany him, indeed loves it, he can get a little distracted with your presence sometimes tho

-you always feel so special, because you're the first person to hear some songs of his, in return, you always try to encourage him and tell him how amazing of a producer and songwriter he is (it's not a lie)

-after he is done working in the studio, he usually takes you out for dinner, refuses you to pay for anything, and gets mad when you tell him that you want to pay this time

-you would think he is not much of a fan of physical affection, but it's so different with you, the only place he wouldn't give you that much of it is in public places and in front of his friends and family

-he would hold your hands wherever you go, occasionally he raises yours to his mouth and gives it a quick peck, so you can feel his love even when you're in public

-you wouldn't know this, but he likes to brag about you, telling his friends how wonderful his significant other is

-very protective of you, because he thinks you are his treasure. he would dead-stare everyone who would even look at your way

-would think about your future together, and moving in with you the first month of dating, but would never actually tell you, because he doesn't want to scare you off or something

-his biggest fear is that he can't show you how much he loves you. if he can see any doubt or insecurity, he will reassure you with the most meaningful words and wouldn't ever leave your side in a moment like this

-you two often joke around with "being mean" to each other. it's just you guys' thing. he is definitely into it when you are being mean to him

-always asks you to paint his nails, and he always does the same for you. picking out the colors for each other. also picks out the other's outfit just for fun, but ends up changing the whole thing because it "wasn't him"

-the type of boyfriend that would give you his jacket, saying he isn't cold, but would actually be freezing

-he brings you home little gifts from everywhere he goes around the world, saying "I had to buy it, it reminded me of you baby"

-would stare straight into your eyes before he kisses you, holds your face with one hand at your jaw. also the first thing he does is kiss you every time you two wake up together in the morning, he thinks it's really important and the best way to start the day

nsfw +18!!!

-okay hear me out he is a very emotional lover and sometimes he can get carried away by his feelings, but he is definitely a dom in the bedroom, not a hard dom, but not a soft dom (you know what I mean)

-he prefers intense sex, where can get everything out of his head, and the bedroom is the safest place for him to share it with the person he loves the most, he desires passion and intimacy

-doesn't mind trying out new things, as long as you are okay with it too, very open and adventurous

-his biggest turn-on is direct eye contact I'm telling you, this boy is a sucker for it. he loves how he can see every emotion on your face, it is very intimate and vulnerable for him 

-biggest turn off probably power play, he just doesn't like it when somebody is trying to control him, and probably everything that involves pain

-i feel like hongjoong would be very vocal in bed, sometimes having full-on conversations with you, and also even dirty talk, but only in a loving way, he would never be mean to you in such a vulnerable moment

-this man's sex drive is high af, you would have sex at least four times a week, but it's probably more than that, to be honest, literally doing it in every part of the house, in the kitchen, bathroom, living room, on the floor, literally everywhere

-so for positions, i think he would love a classic missionary where he can keep that eye contact but would love a good flatiron where he is doing you from behind but still stays close to you, also one of his favorites would be just scooping you up from behind, just cuddling up and kissing your face all over

-he would get all sleepy after sex, so he forgets aftercare sometimes, he just falls asleep with you in his arms (who would blame this man, he works too hard)

[demiesworld]

Ma’am… imma need a mini series of karaku ruining y/n like he said he would..

【♛ demie: A MINI SERIES?! eres loca baby... well since you asked so nicely anon here you go babes~】

eating you out

pairings: karaku x fem!reader

synopsis: a continuation of my riding karaku's thigh fic. in this one karaku eats the reader's pussy (͠≖ ͜ʖ͠≖)

contents: nsfw, inexperienced!reader, virgin!reader, oral (f receiving), fingering, corruption kink, dirty talking, praise kink, dry humping, just the usual filth

notes: reader is afab and uses she/her pronouns. karaku calls reader "kiddo" but it is a term of endearment and reader is of legal age.

part one here!

Ever since that night you had with Karaku, you were shy to be around his other counterparts. While they all kept asking you where you were, you just told them you went to the bath house with Karaku. You didn't elaborate any more of that. Urogi was the worst one of them all, he kept badgering you for more answers. It didn't stop until Sekido or Karaku himself defended you and got Urogi off of your back. Meanwhile, the quietest counterpart, Aizetsu just observed your odd behavior. You would be mortified if they were to ever find out about your intimacy you had with Karaku.

Though a good thing did come out from the night you shared. You confessed your feelings to Karaku and he reciprocated them. You went on nightly walks with Karaku, and talking to him about the things you enjoyed to do during the day time. A part of you was sad that he couldn't be out in the sunlight with you to participate in day activities. However, you didn't complain to him about it.

You were surprised to find a gift from Karaku laying on your bed for you one night when they were out on a mission. It was a maple leaf-shaped uchiwa that looked exactly like his. He was considerate. He must have noticed you getting hot during the summer weather and got this for you.

As you sat there on your futon, kneeling on the mattress you heard your door sliding open with a creak. You turn your head to the sound just to see Karaku standing there in the doorway. The corners of your lips rise to your cheeks and you gently set the uchiwa down to run into Karaku's arms.

Karaku let out a startled squawk when you embraced him. He looked down at you with a wide toothy smile as he caressed your head. "Hello to you too kiddo. Are you that happy to see me?" He asks with a playful tone to his voice.

You nod your head then lifted your head to look up at the taller demon, a warmth grew on your cheeks as you say, "I got your gift. The uchiwa, thank you for it Karaku."

He turns his face away from you, not wanting you to see him flustered. The demon places his hands on your shoulders and turns you towards your futon. "No need to thank me. I just saw you were sweating last night and thought you may need something." He guides you to sit on the mattress, crossing his legs and gesturing for you to sit in his lap.

You sat in it and you remember the night he spent with you at the bathhouse. The memories of what you did with him flooded your mind and you started getting warm in your face and other places. He must have sensed your change in emotion because he cupped your cheek in his hand and caresses your bottom lip with his thumb.

"Is something wrong kiddo?"

A shake of the head is what you gave him and you shyly smile down at him. "Everything is fine, Karaku."

"Don't lie to me, Y/N. I can practically smell you."

You froze, you forgot that Karaku had a keen sense of smell due to him being a demon. He revealed that to you at the bath house that night when he said he could smell your virginity and your arousal. You tightly squeeze his broad shoulders with your small hands as you begin pushing away from him.

Karaku's arms wrapped tightly around your waist as he pulls you closer to him. You wriggle in his hold, dramatically trying to get away from him. Not that you were scared of Karaku, but you feared of what sort of sinful effects he can introduce to you.

The tanned demon's mouth went up to the juncture of your collarbone and neck and there he bit your flesh between his teeth. No blood was drawn, no skin was broken, but the pressure he gave was enough to have you jolt and freeze.

You whimpered, "Ka-Karaku..."

He releases the hold on your skin and looks up at you with half-lidded green eyes. "I thought I told you not to act so scared around me. I would never intentionally hurt you kiddo and you know this."

"Yes, I know Karaku but,"

"Then what is it that's making you push yourself away from me huh?" His hand lowers the collar of your kimono down your shoulder and licks his tongue at the exposed skin.

You stutter over your words, "I'm, I don't think I'm,"

"Speak up kiddo, use your big girl words and tell me what you want." He says before using his lips to suck blemishes onto your skin. His mouth sucking then swiping his moist tongue on it. The feeling of him showering your body with tender kisses made you melt and tremble in his arms.

A warmth floods your cheeks and you mutter, "I want you to make me feel good like last time, please Karaku." You squeeze your eyes shut tight and let out a whine when he stops kissing you.

Karaku hums and stares blankly at the mark he had created on your body. His thumb brushes over it, causing you to jerk and moan, and then he presses down firmly. The choked out gasp you let out causes the demon to smirk proudly. He responds to your revelation, "Trust me, I will make you feel good, but it won't be in the same way that we did it before kiddo."

A look of confusion crosses over your face and you gawk at Karaku for a moment. The demon doesn't say anything to explain what he meant. Rather he lies you on your back on the futon and climbs on top of you. His hands holding your wrists above your head and his legs nudging yours apart. The position he had you in was quite intimate. The sides of your kimono was spread open and showed that you wore nothing to cover your pussy.

"Ka-Karaku what are we doing?" You ask in a shaky tone. You were excited to do something new with him, while at the same time scared over what it could be.

He kisses the underside of your jaw gently then answers, "We're going to try something new. Something that I know you will enjoy a lot."

You don't react when he unties the ribbon on your kimono and opens it up to show your naked body. You don't even fight with Karaku as he creates a trail. Starting from your neck, down to your collar bone, kissing the valley between your breasts. His lips make a detour to your nipples where he takes one of them into his tepid mouth. A surprised gasp emits from you and you moan as he sucks on your nipple. The scent of your arousal spikes, increasing in its intensity into the room and Karaku tries to keep himself from ravaging you like an animal.

After he's sucked both nipples till they are hardened and covered in his spit the demon continues his trail. His hands let go of your wrists and once he does you thread your fingers through his thick hair. A moan leaves from your mouth when he kisses the pubic bone of your mound. Though you gain clarity of where he's heading and your fingers pull at his hair, directing him away from there.

"No, not there Karaku, that's not where your mouth should be!"

He grunts, "Relax kiddo, it's okay."

You shake your head, "No it's not. That place it's... it's dirty."

"Are you telling me that you don't clean down there?"

"No! I do clean down there, but I've never had someone's mouth down there before! It's a little embarrassing..."

"Y/N," the sound of your name got your attention. Karaku only used your name when he needed for you to listen to him. "I wouldn't be doing this if I found this to be dirty. I told you that I want to be the only one to show you these things. That I want to be only one for you to experience them with. Did I not say that?"

You whine, and your grip on his hair loosens, "You did..."

He maintained, "Then let me do this, my little human. Let your demon show you just how much," his lips kiss on the hood of your clit, "He worships you."

His green eyes flicker up to yours as he lowers his head down in between your thighs. Karaku kisses your inner thigh on the left then repeats the action on the right. His tongue slithers to your outer lips where he licks at them. His hands spread your legs wider, exposing your blossoming petals and leaking cunt. You watch with dazed eyes as he sticks out his tattooed kanji tongue and licks your clit with a flick. The action compelled a moan out of you and brought a wicked smile to Karaku's lips. He kisses your clit gently, before sucking it in his mouth and twirling his tongue against it.

You can't explain how you felt when he had his mouth sucking on your clit like a straw. Though you expressed how good it felt by moaning and helping Karaku through holding underneath your knees to keep your legs spread. Could this be what he meant by exploring your deepest and darkest desires? No this couldn't be this. This was just the tip of the iceberg it seemed. While you were a virgin and inexperienced in the language of sex, however Karaku was well versed in it. You speculated since he was a demon and had decades of experiencing relations with other people.

Just then his tongue flattened against your clit then swiped up. You gasp and suppress a moan of his name.

"You're doing so well my little human. Looking at you holding your legs open for me, you know how to follow directions without being told." Karaku says before he adds, "I'm pleased to know that."

A wet smacking sound and the feeling of your pussy lips being tugged made you squeal. Karaku releases them with a lewd "pop" then tugs on them again with his lips. After releasing your lips once more, the demon uses his thumb to lift the hood of your clit as he rapidly flicks his tongue at the nub.

Your thighs quiver from him lapping at your clit like a kitten and you could feel something wet drip down your pussy. Your mouth tries to suppress another moan, however Karaku was not having none of that. His finger slid in between your lips and stroked them up and down till he inserted it. Your warmth swaddled his digit as he worked his finger inside of you. The demon pushed himself to sit on his knees before you on the futon and he looked at you with narrowed dark eyes.

"Let me hear those sounds Y/N. Don't be so shy around me." He says as he twists his finger and hears a squelching sound emit from your pussy. A sigh comes from him, "Come on kiddo,"

You shake your head and whisper to him shakily, "I-I don't want to. I don't want to be too loud, w-what if the others m-might h-hear? Hm!" Your voice was losing it's steadiness once Karaku added another finger and started quickening up his speed. "Ugh! Oh my G-God..."

He scoffs, "Who cares if they hear you? I don't care about that. I want to be able to hear how good I'm making you feel kiddo. So let out those moans, be loud, and tell me what you want."

Your body squirmed on the bed as he plunged his fingers deeper into your cavern. There was a poke at some sort of thing inside that caused you to let out a loud moan. Your hips were unconsciously moving on their own to chase the feeling again. They rocked back and forth on Karaku's fingers drenching them in your juices. You look down at his fingers appearing and disappearing into your heat the sight of it made you flush and whimper.

Your eyes slowly look up from his hand, to his toned abdomen, and then at his chiseled face. Just then you cupped his cheeks into your hand and brought his face to yours. You kissed him passionately, sliding in your tongue into his mouth, and sucking on his lips. The kiss was short but intense enough to have you both gasping for air.

"I want y-your mouth d-down there again... ahh... m-make me feel something special Karaku. I-I want to feel good, please." You murmur against his lips.

The demon brings you in for lasting, mind-numbing kiss, before he pulls away and lowers his head down to your pussy. Karaku kisses your clit with a wet smack before his tattooed tongue dives into your heat. He moans onto your pussy, excited from how you taste and drinks up your essence. He wiggles his tongue inside of you and then sucks on your lips.

Your lips twitch into a content lazy grin and you run your fingers through his hair. You moan out, "Karaku that feels so nice... hm... ah!" You jolt up when he began quick onslaughts of his tongue. "O-Ohh! Oh! Karaku! F-Fuck!" Immediately after you swore you cover your mouth with your hand and whimpered behind it.

The demon pulls his mouth away, your cream moistening his lips and chin. He swipes his tongue on his lips before saying, "It's okay to swear, princess, that's not a bad thing." He kisses your inner thigh and laps at your entrance. "That just means I'm doing something right."

He had a point but you were supposed to be a lady. Ladies didn't swore, and they for sure wouldn't let a demon devour their pussy like it was their last meal. Though... you were liking it. You liked the feeling of a fanged demon's mouth slurping your pussy. You were trembling with pleasure from how he fingered you earlier. So for you to still think of yourself as being a lady was done with. It was over as soon as Karaku vowed to take away your innocence some moons ago.

You felt the courage to voice out your wants, after deliberating and taking some time you speak, "Your tongue feels so nice in my pussy Karaku, please fuck me with it."

The demon grins against your pussy and wastes no time in burrowing his tongue into your heat again. He watches you in admiration, his cheeks flushed, while eating you out. Your eyebrows furrowed, mouth parted in an "o" shape, and your eyes clouded by the sheer curtain of lust. You looked so pretty, so fucked out when he hasn't gotten to get his own fill of you. Soon he will, just not now. Right now Karaku wanted for you to cum on his tongue. Paint his face in your sweet delectable juices.

"Hm, what a nice little whore you are. Asking me to fuck you with my tongue so politely. You haven't lost your manners yet, kiddo?" He said.

Your pussy clenched around his tongue when he called you a whore. You didn't know why the derogatory word made you do that, but you wanted for him to call you that again. Your fingers thread through his black hair, pulling his mouth closer to your gushing cunt. "C-Call me that again," You beg. "Say it again,"

You felt the warmth leave from your pussy only to be filled by his fingers. You didn't know how many of them were stuffed in, although you had a guess it was more than two. His digits thrusted inside of your wet mound without relenting.

Suddenly you feel his mouth hovering next to your ear. Karaku sighs, "You want for me to call you a whore again? Is that what you want?" Your pussy tightens around his fingers and he chuckles, "Look at that, I just unlocked a new kink out of you." He sucks on your earlobe then says, "Your pussy is just swallowing my fingers, Y/N."

He pulls them out and a squelching sound follows. "See?" His fingers are drenched in your essence, trickling down his long thick fingers in ropes. He slightly separated them just for you to see the thin lines that connected each finger. What surprised you was when the demon stuck them into his mouth and sucked them clean off. Karaku sheathes his fingers back inside of you pushing them in so deep you could feel the tips of them prodding at something. When he jerks them forward, you toss your head back and grip onto the sides of his arms.

"Ah! Ah! Fuck Karaku! Karaku, w-what was that?" You ask him, but he keeps jabbing his fingers right into the spot that was driving you crazy. You bury your nails into his thick skin, your hips following his fingers and mouth letting out incoherent pleas for him to slow down. "Ka-Karaku, Karaku! You're going to make something pop!"

He doesn't stop, instead he continues driving his fingers right into the tender spot. "When I get to have you kiddo, this," He stopped moving his fingers and presses them into your sensitive muscle. "Is where I will be having you cum."

You whine and your eyes roll to the back of your head as he return back to fucking you with his fingers. Each time he touched that sensitive nerve it would force a moan out of you. The blankets underneath you were practically soaked and smelt of just your arousal. Karaku, a demon, had turned you into a mess.

From this much stimulation, you could feel something tight twisting in your lower stomach. As you recalled it was your body approaching its climax. However this one felt like it was going to be ten times stronger than when you rode Karaku's thigh. This time you had fingers filling you up to the knuckles.

You were rambling, "Fuck, fuck, fuck, oh my god, oh my god," You were getting close to it. "I think I'm going to cum Karaku, Karaku, sl-slow down! I'm going to cum!" Your thighs were trembling and you weren't prepared for your surroundings to turn into white noise as you came around his fingers. Your body tensed up, back arching and a shrill, "Karaku!" escaping your mouth.

The pleasure demon licks his lips as you cum. He teasingly prods against your cervix again and is surprised when a trickle of it leaks out of you. He gently pushes you down to lie on your back and sets himself in between your legs. You were disoriented, mind gone numb from the intense orgasm you just had. However when you felt something hard poking at your pussy your hands grab for his shoulders.

"H-Huh? What?" You utter confusedly and look down at the prominent bulge underneath his hakamas. Your pussy was fluttering, silently pleading for Karaku's cock to enter you.

Karaku knew he could have had you right then and there. Though he didn't take the chance. He suppressed his want to fuck you, over respecting your boundaries and wanting to actually have sex with you at a time when you're ready.

Which is why he just grabbed your legs, and began rubbing himself on your folds. You laid there on the futon while moaning at each thrust he did. Your eyes looked up into his own, "W-Why are you, hm, doing this Karaku?"

"I need to feel something too kiddo. Shit, you don't know... you don't understand how badly I want to fuck you with my cock right now." He growls and speeds up his strokes.

You urged, "Then do it."

"N-No, I'm not going to fucking do that- oh fuck!" He bites down on his bottom lip causing some blood to drip from the corner. "No kiddo, I'm not going to fuck you just because you want to please me. We're going to do it when you come to me." His breathing gets heavy as he says, "When that happens, then, I'm going to fuck you. I will fuck you so good, this pussy won't ever forget the shape of my cock."

Your hand went down in between your thighs to rub on your clit in tight circles. You shudder and whisper, "Keep talking, tell me w-what you want to do t-to me."

He lets out a dry chuckle and comments, "I want to ruin you for the next man. Make sure that no one gets to have you my little human. I'm going to turn you into a demon's cock sleeve. Is that what you want to be?"

You nod your head eagerly and quicken your pace on your clit. "Hm! Mhm! Yes! L-Let me be your cock sleeve, Karaku!" Your toes were curling and that familiar pressure arose. "Oh no, I'm going to cum again!"

"You're going to cum?" Karaku asked then lets go of your legs to cup your cheek in the palm of his hand. "Then do it whore, fuck, I'm about to cum too."

He slams his lips into yours, kissing you roughly while your your lips rolling over each other. Your body trembles underneath him, tears prickling at the corners of your eyes while you whine and cum onto his pants. Your slick drenched his hakamas in your essence. Karaku groans as he releases his cum inside of his pants. He pulls his mouth away from your lips to pant for air.

As the two of you lie on the futon, just basking in each other's presence, your mind drifts off to when you could have sex with Karaku. Which position would he take you in first? Which position would he finish in? Will he devour your pussy again? Your face heats up thinking of the obscene scenarios in your head.

"Whatever you're thinking, get it out of your mind before I end up making it come true."

You flinch and began to cover yourself with your kimono, "I-I'm not thinking of anything bad!"

Karaku smirks, and nods his head, "Uh-huh, sure you're not. I told you I can smell when your pussy is wet." The demon lifts himself up and stands to his feet. The obvious stain of your cum mixed with his on his pants was noticeable. "Naughty kiddo, just naughty."

"I'm not naughty!"

"Would you like for us to do a rewind?"

You turn your face away from Karaku, feeling embarrassed by his suggestion. He barks out a laugh and grabs you by your hands. "I'm kidding my little human." He stands you on your feet, but your knees buckle and you almost fell to the ground had he not caught you. "Woah, be careful there, kiddo. Don't forget you came twice from me."

You squeal and hit the laughing demon with your hand, connecting with his shoulder. "Shut up and help me to the bath house!"

"Sure thing princess- hey watch the horns!"

notes: im so fucking happy to be finished with this request. i aint gon lie i was speeding through this to get it done. i hope you enjoy babes! p.s. since this will be a mini series, the third and final installment will be posted later. i.e. karaku fucking the humanity out of reader.

[lvis44]

Sweet Escape Pt. 8 // LH44

Lewis Hamilton x Y/N

Warnings: Swearing, 18+ (Smut and Dirty Talk), Alcohol, Angst, Emotional Dilemmas, PDA, Secrecy, Not Edited

Word Count: 8.5k+

Summary: Paradise is supposed to be fun and relaxing... a Sweet Escape, but when unspoken feelings and jealousy rise to the surface, everything can be turned upside down in the blink of an eye.

Notes: We have reached our final destination (well kind of, there will still be an epilogue). This is the final part of Sweet Escape. Thank you all so much for all the love, I'm so glad that you guys have enjoyed it as much as I have enjoyed writing it! I will be back soon with another little daydream. I love you all and enjoy the conclusion to our roller coaster.

I am not a professional writer and all of this is a work of fiction and is strictly for fun. Enjoy! xxx

Previous Sections: Prologue - Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four - Part Five - Part Six - Part Seven

You can’t risk losing Lewis. 

As you step out of the shower you feel a surge of anxiety and power wash over you. How the hell are you supposed to talk to him? It doesn’t take long before you hear him coming down the hall, greeting Daniel on the way, evidently just back from his run. You decide to bite the bullet, there’s no point in wasting time. You hear his door close and immediately make your way out of your own. Your hair is still wet and your attire is mismatched, throwing short on the second you heard him in the hallway. You don’t particularly care if anyone hears you or sees you, you need to get this out before you continue to think about it and change your mind. You’ve gone back and forth over this enough times, you need to finally make your thoughts known. You knock on his door, hoping he can hear you. Thankfully it only takes a moment before his door swings open, he’s standing there covered in sweat, his breathing still slightly labored, just having got back from his run. 

“Y/N?” He seems slightly confused at your sudden intrusion, “Is everything okay?”

You don’t answer his question just pushing past his sticky body and into his bedroom, it’s been a while since you were last in here, today will be a much different outcome. You’re going to stand your ground. He doesn’t ask another question just accepting that you must need to talk, moving to push his door shut.

“Why did you take me to see Marina and Leon?” You blurt out the second his door is closed.

He hesitates for a moment, a question written across his face, “I don’t know, I thought it would be good for Leon to meet someone like you, and Marina had about a billion questions about you so, I don’t know, it just felt right.”

“Why have you told Marina about me?” You ask your next question, not really waiting to process what he’s saying.

“Because I care about you, I’m constantly thinking about you, and I like to tell her about important things in my life. You’re an important thing in my life.” He shrugs as if it shouldn’t even be a question.

“What about us has ever made you think that a relationship between the two of us would even ever work?” You ask him, feeling your heart clench at his words but needing to get all your questions out as quickly as possible.

“I kind of thought I made that clear,” He starts softly, unsure if you’ll really let him get all of his thoughts out, “but, I guess to try to explain it, it’s everything that you do, everything I feel when I’m around you. Charlotte yelled at me a few days ago, and rightfully so, about constantly acting like your boyfriend with none of the commitment or intimacy, that it’s not fair to either of us, not fair to you. Y/N, I am truly happy every second I spend with you, you’re an absolute breath of fresh air, a respite, the idea of coming home to someone like that warms my soul. I have spent so much time wandering around, looking for a place to land and looking in all of the wrong places, evidently. I don’t want to do that anymore, not when everything I’ve always wanted and needed is right in front of me. I’ve been single for a long time, but I know what this feels like, I’ve just never felt it like this before. We’re already halfway there, I don’t see why taking the next step would be bad for either of us.”

He’s just standing in the middle of his room, keeping a good distance from you, trying his best to bore his speech into your brain. It annoys you how good he can look even after a run. When most people would look like a drowned rat with the amount of sweat covering his body, he looks like he’s shining, the sweat somehow making every muscular dip and tattoo even more center stage than usual. You stare at him for a moment, letting his rant twist your heart in ways you didn’t know it could, swallowing down tears as you hear just how much the man in front of you truly cares. You hate that everything he has said is right.

“Thank you again for trusting me with meeting Leon, and Marina, I’m honored you let me into that part of your life.” You say, your voice thick with emotion.

You can see his face contort, confused at both your lack of proper response and your subject change, he imagines it’s because you’re trying to swerve away from the topic, but he just nods softly, “Of course, I trust with you with my life, with my heart, with everything. There’s no one I would rather he meet.”

“I don’t want to lose you Lewis.” You say firmly, “I can’t lose you, that’s why us trying this doesn’t make sense.” Your words are rushed and your brain is speeding a mile a minute, needing to get everything out into the air.

You can visibly see him deflate, his face faltering, an audible sigh coming from him.

“Y/N, sweetheart, I don’t know how many times I need to tell you this but you will never lose me, not in a million years. Sure things may change, but that’s the trajectory of life, regardless of what you and I do, things are destined to change, it’s evolution. Try thinking of it in the sense that you already have me, forever, for better or worse, but now I want to give you more of me, just you. We have each other now, but it could be so much more, and somehow I think even better. Tell me you don’t think about how nice it would be to fall asleep next to each other at night. When I hug you I can feel you melt into me, I fucking relish in it, that’s why I never pull away, that could be our normal, how we fall asleep, how we cuddle and watch some stupid fucking show. Think about how good we could make each other feel, emotionally, physically, fuck, on levels we don’t even know exist yet. I want this with you, I adore you and everything about you, there’s absolutely nothing in my mind that questions you and I being a good couple. We’ve already got the platonic relationship down, we know each other so fucking well, better than most people who have been married for twenty god damn years, we have a head start. Everyone always says that your partner should end up being your best friend, we already did that, so here I am, you best friend, telling you I want to be your partner, and fuck I hope you hear me.”

He lets out a deep sigh as he finishes his rant, you can tell he’s had that bottled within him for a while. You let him speak, not needing to hear it but wanting to, your mind is already made up, it doesn’t really matter what he says at this point. You’re quite amazed by the outpouring of emotions you’re receiving from him, not used to him letting himself truly be vulnerable. He looks tired and you can tell that if he were a normal man he would be close to giving up, but he’s not a normal man and ‘giving up’ is nowhere in his vocabulary. Lewis is competitive and strives to win, he doesn’t back down, especially when it’s truly important to him. That alone is part of the reason that you feel confident in your decision.

“So, if we’re going to do this, some things need to be made very clear.” You continue after his rant, not having the ability to even begin to process everything he just said. You need to charge ahead, his words only fueling your confidence in your decision.

You can tell he doesn’t quite believe the words that have just left your mouth but he does his best to restrain from making you repeat them. He stays silent, nodding obediently, but you can see the corner of his lips twitching, begging to break into the largest smile known to man.

“First, it’s only you and I in this relationship, your playboy fuckboy antics, they need to be thrown out the window immediately.” You begin the list that had played over and over in your head over the last few hours, “Second, there always needs to be communication, on both of our parts, no fucking games, no fucking secrets, honesty and communication.”

He’s nodding along eagerly, you almost worry that he’s not listening but you can’t stop yourself to reprimand him.

“Third,” You continue, “we take this slow. I am not and will never be one of your play things. You will respect me and my limits and we’re not rushing into anything, you need to prove yourself, I’m still a little bit upset with you. Fourth, jesus christ, for the love of god, please get tested, I don’t need every bitch from every corner of the universe inside of me. Got it?”

He giggles at your last demand but nods nonetheless.

“Done, done, done, and already done.” He agrees, no hesitation.

“Lewis, I need this to work, because I’m not sure I would be able to function without you at this point.” You sigh, letting your final thought out.

He nods once again, “Agreed,” He lets out a content sigh, “So is that you saying you’ll do this with me? You’ll be mine, all mine?” His voice is hesitant but eager as he asks the question, slowly making his way toward you.

“Only if you’ll be mine and only mine.” You say, your voice quieting down as he approaches you.

“In a heartbeat babe.” His voice is only above a whisper but his eyes are boring down into yours, making you anxious and giddy all at once.

“Okay, last demand, properly ask me out.” Your lips lose your internal battle as they spread across your face into a wide smirk, needing to make him work for it one last time. It’s cruel, really, with how much he has already put into winning you over, but you need him to do it. One last little bit of confidence that this is all real.

“Y/N Y/L/N, will you please be my girlfriend? All mine, forever?” His smile has now broken over his face, unable to contain it as he stands only a few inches from you. He laughs gently through his words, amused by your request but willing to do whatever you need to finally be his. He’s smiling in a way you don’t think you’ve ever seen before, it's a whole new level of boyish excitement that makes your heart swell.

“Lewis Hamilton, I would be absolutely honored.” Within seconds of the words leaving your lips he has wrapped you in a large bear hug, picking you up off the ground, making you squeal.

“Lewis,” You whine through laughter, “you’re so fucking sweaty, I just showered.”

“This is what you just signed up for baby girl.” He chuckles, pressing a kiss against your head. You're rather confident that your name has already been long forgotten, pet names now taking its place.

“Okay, I take it back, I regret my decision.” You laugh playfully, his beard tickling you as he continues his assault of kisses that have now made their way to your cheek.

“Nope, no take backs.” He giggles against your cheek, placing you back down on the floor.

When he finally releases his grip from you his hands quickly find your cheeks, cupping your smiling face in his large hands.

“So beautiful, and all mine.” He mutters as if to himself.

“All yours.” You whisper back, making his smile even bigger if possible.

“I know you said we have to take this slow,” He starts, making you raise an eyebrow at him, “but can I please kiss you?”

You don’t have it anywhere in you to say no, all you can do is bite your lip with a nod, eagerly awaiting his lips on yours. He stares at you for a moment, as if processing the permission you just granted him. You expected the kiss to be harsh, almost messy from his excitement, but it was far from it. He leans in to you slowly, almost cautiously before connecting his lips with yours. You both sigh the moment you’re finally in contact. His lips are so soft and his large hands cupped around your cheek make you feel small, all you can do is melt into him. You bring your arms up around his sticky neck, still sweatier than you would normally find yourself being okay with. He keeps the kiss gentle but moves one arm to snake around your waist, pulling you flush against him as if there’s no possibility you could ever be close enough. He doesn’t move to deepen the kiss, his tongue never appears, he barely even moves, just enjoying the fact that you’re finally connected, even in the most simple of ways. When he finally pulls away you find yourself wanting to chase his lips, not having had quite enough just yet. He notices the involuntary reaction, chuckling slightly as he rests his forehead on yours. You place your hands on his chest, enjoying the firmness under your palms, realizing that it’s all yours to enjoy now. You almost go to take back your statement about taking it slow but the last logical brain cell you have stops you.

“We have to figure out how to make this work Lewis.” You whisper, not wanting to disrupt the peace in between you two.

“We will, I would never forgive myself if I let you go.” He says, his voice just as quiet.

“Do we tell everyone?” You ask, not sure what to do next, especially when trapped in a house together.

“We can wait, or do whatever feels natural. As long as we know.” He eases your mind, letting you know there’s no pressure.

You nod, grateful you don’t feel the need to go announce it to the whole house.

“Now go take a shower so I can have a much less disgusting hug.” You laugh, pushing against his chest.

“You liked it.” He joins your laughter, slowly parting from you.

“Shower.” You repeat, pointing toward the door of the bathroom.

“You can always join.” He playfully winks.

“Slow, Lewis, we’re taking it slow.” You reprimand him, feeling yourself blush but still laughing.

“I’ll be quick, be ready with open arms.” He flashes you a smile, disappearing into the bathroom.

…

You’re in the kitchen, starting to prepare dinner when Lewis finally comes out of his room, freshly showered and looking so damn cuddly in a large t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. It will forever bother you that even in his pajamas he manages to look better than the entire population. Everyone else is out on the patio, setting the table and making drinks.

“I thought I was getting a hug when I got out of the shower, maybe another kiss.” Lewis whispers to you, startling you when his voice comes from so close behind you.

He chuckles when he notices you jump, stepping away from you only slightly to take a spot next to you at the counter, grabbing a knife and cutting up some veggies. You can’t help but watch as his hand grips the stupid cucumber, something that should not affect you, yet it does.

You’re looking at the way the veins in his hands flex as he adjusts his grip as you mutter to him with a smirk, “Behave.”

“I don’t know, I feel like I was promised a reward that I didn’t get.” He says quietly, shrugging his shoulders. He’s standing close enough to you that you can feel the movement.

“I think you got plenty of a reward for one day. I mean hey, you got me.” You taunt him, your voice staying just as low.

“Oh, how right you are.” He sighs, leaning in to press a quick kiss to your temple before moving past you to the fridge.

“Look who finally showed up to help.” Charlotte’s voice comes through the kitchen as she walks in the back doors.

“Did you want my sweaty ass making your dinner?” Lewis shoots back at her.

Her face scrunches up at the thought.

“Didn’t think so.” He says, his attention already turned back to the fridge in hunt of something.

You can’t help but giggle, feeling as though you are truly on cloud nine. Nothing could have prepared you for the absolute ecstasy that would be coursing through your body after making that man yours, or really you should say allowing yourself to be his, he truly did all the heavy lifting.

“What’s so funny? You know how nasty he is after a run.” Charlotte shoots you a look, almost asking you to back her up.

You just laugh, thinking about the fact that you were wrapped around his sweaty body only twenty minutes ago.

“Whatever, I’m gonna go see if I can find a board game or something for later.” Charlotte announces, heading off toward the other side of a house where you know there is a still unused game room. You’d seen it for only a few minutes, Miles and Lewis having spent a few hours playing on the various arcade games, their inner child truly coming out.

Lewis was now walking back over to you, his hands full of various ingredients he had gathered. You went to attempt to take some of them but he just tutted, swatting your hand away.

“I got this, you just sit over there and look pretty, keep me entertained.” He nodded his head over toward the kitchen island, a smirk on his face.

“I hope you know, my way of keeping you entertained will most likely be me making fun of your culinary skills.” You tell him, not arguing with him doing all the work, as you happily perch yourself on one of the stools. You can’t help but enjoy the view. He takes his cutting board off the counter and moves it to the island, making sure he’s facing you so he can glance at you every once in a while.

“Whatever makes you happy, love.” He chuckles, not looking up at you as he gets to chopping.

Your stomach flips at the pet name, he’s called you love before but to your knowledge it always just been in a polite british way. Now it feels different, you want to  assume it’s because he’s all the sudden your boyfriend, but in reality you know it’s because of just how much you care for the man standing in front of you. You sit in silence for a few moments, just admiring how beautiful he is, truly looking like a god while he does the most mundane tasks. You know you’re done for.

“You’re pretty quiet over there, where the critique?” Lewis teases you, noting your silence.

“Well, first of all I’m just admiring my view,” You admit, “Second of all, you unfortunately seem to be a half decent cook.”

“Babe, I don’t know if my ego can take all this flattery.” He laughs.

“Don’t get used to it, I’m simply in a strangely good mood.” You shrug, laughing yourself.

“I would hope you’d be in a good mood, big shit happened today.” He looks at you with a soft playful smile. You can tell he’s being sincere under his teasing tone.

Before you can respond your friends are making their way into the kitchen, offering to help with dinner before being shooed away by Lewis who is seemingly on his own mission. You can’t help but laugh, noting that he gives Charlotte a run for her money when it comes to being in control of the kitchen. You can’t help but be a tad bit annoyed at the intrusion, not that anyone even knows they were interrupting anything, and in reality, they weren’t. You were just enjoying your one on one time being playful with Lewis in your newfound status after having been at odds with him for so long. Much to your dismay, Lewis paid much less attention to you while your friends were around. You understood it, he was keeping things normal between the two of you, at least outwardly, he was respecting your anxiety of everyone finding out that something had changed between you.

The evening carried on happily and calmly. You discovered that when left on his own in the kitchen, Lewis was actually quite a good cook, you would have to make him cook for you another time, just you. Charlotte had found Monopoly somewhere in the house, which you promptly lost at, Lewis then insisting that you team up. No one batted an eye at it other than Charlotte, she had shot you a questioning look, wordlessly asking if the two of you were okay. You had only nodded, a soft smile on your face. She had seemed content enough with that, letting you be for the rest of the evening. By the time that you were headed to bed you were full of a joy you hadn’t felt in years, maybe ever. Lewis had very discreetly managed to give you a kiss on the cheek and a small hug before you headed to bed, whispering something about caching in on your promise from earlier. As you fell asleep you couldn’t help but feel like all of your stars had finally aligned in the most perfect way, even if you had no idea what was in store for your future.

…

Your final days of vacation were here, a few days prior you would have wished they would come and go as quick as possible but now, waking up in this new chapter of your life, you wished you could bottle the next few days and never let them go. The morning was lazy, lying in the sun after breakfast before deciding to head down to the beach to do the exact same thing, only with even more gorgeous views. From where you were seated, you already had the best view you could possibly ask for. Lewis was off in the side yard, fully immersed in a full body workout. You were admiring him from a distance, pretending to read your book, but your eyes kept wandering over to his glistening back and bulging biceps as he did effortless push-ups, it would have been criminal not to watch. You knew that he knew you were watching him, he had readjusted specifically to give you a better view, the cocky bastard. When everyone had gone inside to get ready, you stayed back, wanting even just a second alone with him. The second everyone was indoors you made your way over to him, sitting criss crossed on the ground in front of where he was doing sit ups now. One rep he sat up and gave you a wide smile before disappearing again, making you giggle, next rep his eyes flicked over to the door, third rep he came up and grabbed your cheeks, relaxing his form as he pulled your face to his, hesitating for only a moment before firmly planting his lips on yours. Once again he kept it pg but it still felt like heaven on earth. You giggled as you pulled away, feeling like a teenager who had just had her first kiss, you couldn’t help but feel that this is how it would always be with Lewis.

“So what did I hear? Are we headed down to the beach?” He asked, keeping his face rather close to yours, closer than it should be for a friend.

“Yeah, I was just coming over to tell you.” You say, blatantly lying as to why you had approached him.

“Mmmhmmm…” He smirked, catching your lie in an instant.

“Okay, maybe not.” You admitted, leaning in to peck his lips once more. He didn’t let that happen though as he made sure you stayed in place much longer than you had intended, not that you minded in the least bit. 

“I should go shower then.” He mumbled as he finally pulled away, moving to stand

“There’s no point, just go jump in the ocean.” You said, making him stay seated in front of you.

“I’m beginning to think that you like me when I’m sweaty,” He smirked before leaning in to place a kiss to your jaw, “and I have to say, I can think of a few ways you could help me work up a sweat.”

You felt your cheeks heat up in an instant, trying to push away the mental images of him above you, his chest glistening. You knew he could tell just how he had affected you when you saw the look on his face when he pulled away.

“Well, I guess I’ll just go put on some trunks then.” He said with a wink as he finally got up to his feet, you not having any ability to stop him right now.

Looking up at him from your spot on the ground as he stood above you had a whole new slew of thoughts rushing through your head. You were a horny mess. The smirk on his face was all knowing and you wanted desperately to wipe it off his face, but there was no use, he was dead on.

You made sure to stay behind and wait for Lewis, who had ended up insisting on showering, as everyone else made their way down to the beach. You were at the kitchen island, scrolling through your phone, when he finally came out. You were wearing one of your bikinis, one you had worn already on the trip, back when he and Miles had tried to teach you to surf. His hands were on your waist before you even knew he was in the room. 

“Waiting for me, beautiful?” His head was nuzzled into your neck, not trying anything, just enjoying the closeness.

You lightly pushed him away, spinning on the stool to face him. On instinct you widened your legs, allowing him to step between them so he could be closer to you, bad idea. Your breath hitched when you realized what you had just done, feeling him just brush up against you. You could tell that he wasn’t trying to grind against you or anything, it was just a casualty of trying to get closer to you, but that didn’t make it affect you any less.

“Um, yeah, wanted to walk down with you.” You half mumble, your brain jumbled.

He smiled softly, “Everyone gone?”

All you could do was nod.

“Good.” He let out a heavy breath, pulling your cheeks to press your lips together.

He was slightly more explorative this time and you didn’t mind in the slightest. The kiss was nothing like the first time he had kissed you, messy and open mouthed, but he slightly toyed with your bottom lip, running his tongue along it gently. You ever so slightly opened your mouth, allowing him the small bit of access he so desperately wanted. Nothing but the tips of your tongues met, ever so slightly dancing across each other as you both tested the waters. When he finally pulled away he made sure to leave multiple pecks to your lips, leaving you happily satisfied yet still wanting more. You weren’t quite sure anything would ever be enough with Lewis.

He stepped away, trying to discreetly adjust himself, making you laugh. He sent you a look before righting himself as if nothing had happened. He extended his hand to you, pulling you off the barstool as he intertwined his fingers with yours. Walking hand in hand with him, slightly leaning your weight against him, felt like the most natural thing in the world. You couldn’t help but admire him, almost tripping a few times on your way down the path, making him chuckle. With a towel slung over one shoulder, his swim trunks low on his hips, and a dark pair of sunglasses perched on his nose, he looked perfect, absolutely effortless.

You had parted ways once you got to your friends, still trying your very best to stay discreet. That lasted only about a half hour, the second Lewis had decided he wanted to get in the water he was dragging you along with him. Very much like the last time, he was throwing you into the water almost immediately. His smile was wide as he watched you curse him out. As if he had forgotten that your friends were back on the beach, he grabbed you and pulled you towards where he was floating in the water. You could touch the bottom but only on your tiptoes and you could tell that he had opted to tread water, always staying active. He wrapped your legs around his hips, keeping you afloat with him.

“Well hello there.” You laughed at his sudden move.

“Hello.” He chuckled, nuzzling into your neck.

“Lew, what are you doing?” You asked semi cautiously, enjoying him but knowing that if anyone decided to sit up from their towel they would immediately see you being evidently more than friends.

“Enjoying being in the Caribbean Sea with my girl. I’m finally really enjoying vacation.” His words were slightly muffled as his lips moved against your neck.

“Babe, everyone can see us right now.” You whispered, feeling like you were trying to keep a secret even from the fish in the ocean.

He let out a content humm at the use of your pet name, placing a kiss to your throat, “We said whatever feels natural right? This feels natural. Fuck them, let’s just enjoy this.”

He pulled away, his arm readjusting its grip around your waist. You could feel the strength in his muscles and it made your stomach clench, thinking about him holding you in so many other ways. You just stared at him for a moment, contemplating everything.

“Do you want me to stop?” He asked sincerely, noticing the torn look on your face.

You thought about it for only a moment longer, deciding being in his arms was much too good to waste in order to keep a secret, “Nope, you’re right, fuck ‘em.”

His smile was wide as you let yourself truly wrap your arms around his neck, leaning in to place a kiss against his smile. He could barely kiss you back, too happy to use his mouth for anything but the biggest grin you could imagine.

“I’m really happy.” You whispered to him, only a few centimeters from his lips.

“I am too baby, I am too.” He shook his head almost in disbelief.

You have no idea how long the two of you spent bobbing around in the water, but it was long enough that your friends had either gotten sick of the sun or sick of the PDA, possibly both.

“Hey,” Miles yelled, “we’re headed to the house, you guys coming or are you gonna keep fucking eachother in the ocean?”

You laughed, hiding your face in Lewis’ shoulder as he flipped Miles off. You were rather surprised at how casual Miles seemed about it, maybe he was expecting it, maybe he had known how Lewis felt longer than you had, regardless you were grateful that it didn’t seem like a big deal.

“Be up soon.” Lewis yelled back, Miles returning his one finger salute.

You stayed wrapped around each other only a little while longer as you enjoyed the serenity of being with your person in the most beautiful of places. No talking was needed as you basked in the sound of nature and peace surrounding you. Your heart felt whole, in a way it hadn’t in quite some time. You were shocked at how quickly you had fallen into a new cycle with Lewis, but you didn’t mind one bit.

. . . 

“I swear to god if I have to hear you two fuck, I might lose my shit.” Miles said, his face showing nothing but seriousness as you and Lewis both burst out laughing.

After you had made your way back to the house, Lewis had thrown caution to the wind, promptly pulling you down into his lap as you came out onto the patio after changing. You hadn’t fought him on it, equally as content as he was and fully aware everyone had already seen you in the water. The only problem was now they were close enough to tease you. The second Charlotte saw him do it she squealed.

“Ah please tell me my two favorite people have finally realized that they need to get married and have kids?” She had clapped, her voice shrill with excitement.

“Woah, slow down there Char’, she became my girlfriend yesterday, give us a damn minute.” Lewis had chuckled, seemingly somewhat prepared for Charlotte's antics.

“Hey now, two favorite people?” Miles had complained, giving Charlotte a playfully offended look.

“Okay sorry, two of my favorite people.” She corrected herself, rolling her eyes.

“I’m just worried I’m never gonna see you two again, gonna be far too obsessed with each other to ever see the light of day again. Also hold up, girlfriend?” Miles had carried on.

“You speaking from experience?” Steph teased him, “Is Lewis that good?”

“Oh fuck off,” He didn’t even look at her, opting to flip her off instead, “but seriously, girlfriend?” He looked at you.

You just nodded, shyly, “He wore me down, he can be quite persuasive.”

“I’m just shocked because the last time I saw you two really interact, I’m pretty sure you wanted to either cut his dick off or punch him in the face.” Miles laughs.

“Oh I did, but we talked… a lot.” You laugh, not wanting to really go into much detail.

Somehow Lewis manages to get the conversation away from your relationship status and you silently thank him, not in the mood for some big hoopla and discussion about your feelings. As everyone chatters on around you the evening quickly turns to night and people begin to bid their goodnights. With only a few people left on the patio, you do the same, whispering to Lewis before announcing it to the group. When you get to your room, you realize that you quite wish you had given him a kiss before you left, too shy to do it infront of everyone just yet. You sit on your bed in your pajamas, waiting to hear him head to his room. Finally you hear his voice in the hall, making you move to try to sneakily follow him to his room. You don’t hear anyone else in the hall so you make a run for it. You feel like a boarding school student breaking curfew with the way that you run on your tiptoes over to his doorway, knocking ever so softly.

“Yeah?” His voice is louder than you would have liked.

Instead of waiting for further permission, you gently ease his door open, slipping in quickly and softly shutting it behind you. He’s in the middle of taking off the sweatshirt he had put on earlier in the night, his t-shirt riding up as he does so, putting his abs wonderfully on display.

“Hello you.” He smirks when he finally sees you.

“Sorry.” You mumble, suddenly embarrassed that you just snuck into his room for a silly goodnight kiss after only dating the man for a day.

For some reason your brain is on a different level than your relationship technically is, you feel like you’ve been together for months, years even. It’s exactly what he was talking about, he’s been acting as your boyfriend for some time but now you finally have the intimacy you had secretly dreamed of.

“Don’t be sorry,” He smiles, approaching you to place his hands on your hips, “I too was thinking I needed to come steal a kiss before bed.” He puts your mind at ease, pressing his lips to yours softly.

You find yourself deepening the kiss, his soft manner not being enough for you. You wrap your arms around his neck, pressing yourself against his firm torso. He’s more than welcoming, wrapping his arms around you tightly, pulling you against him even harder than before. You take the lead this time, licking against his mouth. It takes him barely a second to respond, letting your tongue explore his mouth, his moving in sync against yours. When he groans into the kiss you can’t help but try to pull him even closer to you. He leans you against the door you had just snuck in through, his hands gravitating down towards your ass. You don’t stop him, nothing could possibly make you stop him in that moment. His large hands rest carefully atop your ass, not wanting to cross anymore of a boundary than he already is. You try to give him more permission, pressing your hips against his as you do your very best not to break from his lips that are growing hungrier by the second. The heat of his body and the lack of oxygen from the kiss are making you lightheaded, you need him, so much more than you could have ever imagined. You throw your demands out the window, fuck taking it slow, you needed to take him now.

He feels you press your hips against him, taking the hint and finally properly grabbing your ass, greedy handfuls in his large palms. He groans again and the sound goes straight to your core. You bring one of your legs up around his waist, hoping he gets the hint fully, and does he ever. Within moments he’s moving his hands to your thighs, beckoning for you to jump up so your legs are wrapped firmly around his waist. Finally he properly presses himself against you, his lips moving down to your jaw and trailing down your neck. It feels just as good as it did the first time you felt him do just this, but this time it’s even better, because you know you won’t be stopping him this time. He nibbles ever so slightly making you whimper. It’s the first proper sound he’s gotten out of you and he is immediately on a mission for more.

“Fuck, baby, do you want this? Are you sure?” He is so out of breath as he asks the question but his voice is serious, he’s not fucking it up again.

“Yes Lew, so much, I need you, please.” You rush out, your voice already an embarrassing whine. If you weren’t so needy in that moment, you might find it in you to care, but all you care about is getting him exactly how you want him.

The second he hears your words he’s latching his lips back onto your throat and carrying you over to his bed. The grace with which he puts you down surprises you, you half expected to be thrown like a ball. His hands move under your pajama shirt, immediately finding your breast completely bare. His thumb brushes over your sensitive nipple, making you gasp. His lips find yours once again, his hands roaming every inch of your body they can reach, yours doing the same to him. You fumble to try and take his shirt off, making him chuckle as he pulls away to do it for you, him swiftly ridding you of your shirt as well. He pauses for a moment, his eyes locked to your chest and the hungry stare makes you want to cover up. As if he can tell he leans down, placing his lips across every inch of bare skin he can before latching his lips around one of your nipples. You can’t help but arch into him, feeling his smile against your chest as you do so. You let your hands wander the smooth skin of his back, feeling how his muscles flex as he adjusts himself to kiss a trail down your torso. When he reaches your waistband his eyes flick up to yours, silently asking if he can carry on.

“Please.” You sigh out, needing some sort of relief from how ridiculously worked up you are in that moment.

That's all he needs to hear before he’s pulling down your sleep shorts and your undies in one swift motion. Once you're bare, his eyes lock onto your heat, in a much similar way to how they did your chest earlier.

“So fucking perfect.” He says under his breath, his thumb moving to ever so slightly brush against your hip, making you squirm.

Finally his thumb makes its way to the bundle of nerves that are throbbing with desperation. His touch is so light you can barely feel it but it makes your hips buck up towards him. He takes that as a good sign, applying more pressure as he finally starts to move in tantalizing circles, the rest of his hand resting on your pubis.

“So wet, so ready, my god,” He mumbles as if to himself before speaking up, his voice raspy with lust, “Can I taste you baby? Been dying to for so long.”

“Oh my god, please.” You feel like you could cry from just how turned on you are.

The first flick of his tongue is teasing, nothing even close to what you’re in the mood for, you buck your hips up towards him, hoping he takes the hint. He immediately dives in, no room for teasing and taunting left. His head between your thighs is something you never anticipated witnessing, but now its all you ever want to see. He wastes no time in latching his mouth onto your sensitive nerves, making you cry out. His tongue laps in the most perfect rhythm that your positive nothing will ever be as satisfying again. His tongue travels everywhere and anywhere, searching for your most sensitive spots. He makes his journey further down, the strong muscle of his tongue teasing at your entrance, you gasp as you feel him push just the tip in, his nose coming down to meet your clit. He quickly begins fucking you with his tongue as he gently moves his head, creating just enough friction with the tip of his nose to have you a whimpering mess. You feel yourself starting to tense up, never having come so quick with any of your partners. He can feel it too. He quickly replaces his tongue with two thick fingers, his mouth coming up to suck your clit directly into his mouth.

“There ya’ go, give it to me pretty girl, let me see how good you look when you come. You taste so fucking good, never gonna get enough.” You look down to see his eyes locked directly on yours. You can see his bicep flexing with the movements he’s making inside of you and that combination has you coming undone, harder than you ever have before. All you can do is moan his name, you have no idea how loud you’re being but you truly couldn’t care less, the way he’s making you feel is second to none. You can feel his smirk as he works you down from your orgasm slowly, making sure you feel every ounce of it.

Before he’s even able to make his way all the way up your body, you’re reaching for the button of his pants. You need to feel him, and you need to feel him now.

“All in good time sweetheart.” He giggles, placing a soft kiss to your lips.

You can feel the dampness in his beard, his lips slick. He steps away from you, making you whine.

“So needy, give me a second and I’ll give you everything you need.” He teases you as he walks over to his bag. He grabs a condom and you can’t help but be grateful he at least has half a mind right now, you were ready to take him raw if it meant you could have him.

He finally lets you undo his pants, pushing them down along with his briefs. What you’re met with has your eyes going wide. He’s much larger than you could have even imagined. The thick vein running up his shaft looks lickable and you almost do exactly that before he’s laying you back once more, rolling the condom on.

“I’ll go slow, I promise.” He whispers reassuringly, evidently having caught your initial reaction.

When you feel the blunt tip press against you, you begin to rethink everything, there is absolutely no way you’ll be able to take him. He begins to ease into you slowly and it's the most indescribable feeling. You feel like you’re being split in two and put back together all at once. He somehow feels like an intrusion and your missing piece.

“Lew” You whimper out, clinging to him for dear life.

“Almost there baby, almost there,” His voice is soothing in your ear but you can hear the tension as he feels you for the first time, “you’re doing so good, so proud of you.”

The second he bottoms out, it's as if time has stopped. The two of you both let out deep groans, reveling in the feeling of finally being fully connected. Slowly the burning stretch turns into indescribable satisfaction. It feels like he was meant to be inside of you, the missing piece to the puzzle of your body. He stays still, letting you adjust to him as he peppers you with kisses. You can feel the tension in his shoulders, desperate to move, chase the high you’re both so desperate for. You don’t know how you find it in you but you wrap your legs around his hips, pulling him closer and hoping he takes the hint that you need him to move just as much as he needs it. Slowly he pulls out of you, only half way, before burying himself in you again. He hits the perfect spot, making your toes clench with only one thrust. The groan he lets out is pornagraphic and you fight to make yourself look at him. The sight above you is what dreams are made of as he slowly starts to build a pace, testing the waters with what you like, evidently aiming to make sure you’re feeling just as good as he is. His lips are parted as if they’re ready to let out a moan at any given moment, his brow is furrowed in pleasure and concentration, his lust filled eyes boring down into yours.

“Fuck baby, you feel unreal.” He half groans, dropping his head into the crook of your neck, tracing his lips over the sensitive skin.

“Fuck, Lew, more please.” You run your nails gently down his back, making him shiver.

“You want more?” His voice is taunting, challenging.

“Fuuuuck.” You draw out as his hips pick up their pace.

He brings one of his arms to rest on the headboard as he leverages himself to put more power behind his thrusts. All words have left your mind, your mouth open in a constant gasp, no sound capable of escaping you any longer. He takes one of your legs, resting it over his shoulder as he pushes himself down on to you, his body weight suffocating in the best way. Somehow he’s even deeper this way and it makes you whimper, the tension mounting in your belly. You can tell you're almost there. His grunts and groans have quickly become your new favorite soundtrack as they edge you closer and closer to your release. His hips have picked up their pace even more and you can feel yourself teetering on the edge. When his hand slips down to toy with your clit you find yourself letting out a moan much louder than you should have. He brings his lips to yours, attempting to quiet you. This kiss is useless, just two open mouths, sharing each others sounds of pleasure.

“Fuck I love you.” He breathes out, you can tell he didn’t mean to say it but the second you hear it you need to hear it a million more times. Your stomach tightening at the phrase falling from his lips

“Say it again.” You just about whine.

He hesitates for a moment, his hips faltering before finding his pace again, “I love you.” This time with much more conviction.

“Again.” You moan, so close to your high.

“Fuck Y/N, I love you, I love you, so fucking much.” He rambles, connecting your lips when he feels you reach your peak.

You’re not prepared, it crashes over you like a tsunami, you tighten around him so hard he struggles to move, to fuck you through it. You’re beyond grateful that he’s as determined as he is because he keeps you at your peak longer than you even knew possible, your vision blurring and your ears ringing. You feel him tense, uncoordinated thrusts as he finally spills into the condom. His breathing is hard as he collapses against you like the best weighted blanket imaginable. He’s pressing soft kisses to your throat as you do your best to come back to earth. You can feel him slowly softening inside of you and it just feels right, the two of you being connected.

"So much for taking it slow, hmm?" His voice is tired but teasing.

"Oh fuck off." Is the first thing you say to him as you come back into yourself, making him chuckle

It takes him a few moments before he disconnects from you, much to your dismay, wincing as he pulls out.

“M’sorry, one second.” He says softly, pecking your lips before moving to discard the condom and get you a rag.

He cleans you with such care, so gentle, you feel your heart lurch. It’s rare that you’ve been with a guy who takes such care afterwards. When he’s finally done he joins you back in bed, moving you both under the covers.

“No arguments, you’re staying right here.” He mumbles before you can object and try to go back to your own room, which you assume will no longer be needed.

“Hey Lewis?” You prompt hesitantly as he pulls you against his chest, hiking your leg up over his hips.

“I meant it, have for so long it hurts.” He answers you without you even having to ask, knowing what you’re questioning.

You lift your head to meet his, looking at him through the pale moonlight flooding the room.

“I love you too.” You whisper before leaning it to meet his lips.

"Say it again." He mumbles against your lips, a smile spreading across both of your faces as he mimics your words from earlier.

"I love you so fucking much Lewis Hamilton." You giggle as he pulls you impossibly close to him, latching his lips on to yours.

You don’t know how long you stay there kissing him but you’re not sure you disconnected before you fell asleep. All you know is that as you lay there, enjoying his affection, you knew you had made the right decision. You will never lose Lewis and now you have the rest of your life to enjoy a whole new journey with him.

[jisungsdaydreamer]

Anti-Romantic | TEASER | CHAPTER 3 OUT NOW!!

«GENERAL M.LIST» · «NAVIGATION» · «TALK TO ME» · «SERIES MASTERLIST»

Pairing: Hyunjin x Fem!reader Genre: non idol au, fluff, smut, romcom, drama, opposites attract Warnings: swearing, explicit sexual content, dysfunctional relationships, taboo couples/relationship therapist and patient dynamic

P.S. ♡ If you like my work, please consider giving me feedback in the form of reblogs, comments, and asks! ♡

As the most beloved dating coach in the sunny state of California, Hyunjin has dealt with all kinds of nightmares— from real desperate housewives and their indifferent husbands to toxic shotgun marriages doomed to fail— and he’s fixed them all. Dubbed the “Love Doctor,” Hyunjin has a PhD in both sociology and broken hearts. Every single day for Hyunjin ends the same: yet another flashy career success and to celebrate, sliding on his rose-tinted glasses and sipping on pink champagne, his perpetual poison.

That was all before you, of course.

For your entire life, you’ve been unlucky in love. From your endless unrequited high school crushes to your situationship who turned out to be gay, love has just never been in the cards for you. It’s all changed you from a hopeless romantic into a pessimist who doesn’t believe in true love. You now make fun of every couple you see, religiously watch wedding fails on Youtube, and absolutely hate romantic comedies. 

But no amount of lackluster girls’ nights or hours thrown into your crappy job can fill the hole in your heart. You’re absolutely lonely. In one last attempt to give love a chance, you ditch your Tinder dates and decide to turn to L.A.’s famous “Love Doctor,” this hotshot relationship therapist all of your friends rave about. 

Barrelling into Dr. Hwang’s office like a cyclone, you bring along your signature stormy attitude and want a remedy to your emotional dry spell, even though you still believe in your heart that counseling won’t work for you. You don’t expect, however, your new intimacy expert to be hotter than hell, definitely not a middle-aged woman ready to lecture you about putting out.

No, Dr. Hwang is more like the Grandmaster of love, the amorous warlock of the West Coast, and with the way he silently strips you with his bedroom eyes the moment you walk in, perhaps even the sex scholar of the Valley. As he slowly disarms your defenses, you do your best not to let him know of your inappropriate fantasies about him. But even worse than your impossibly vivid wet dreams, you’re falling in love with your fucking therapist. Or Hyunjin, as he so charmingly commands you to call him. 

And you try to keep your feelings for him at bay, you really do. But Hyunjin just doesn’t give up, relentlessly tugging at your mind and heart and taking up every quantum of your life. Because after all, the Love Doctor loves a good challenge.

«GENERAL M.LIST» · «NAVIGATION» · «TALK TO ME»

TAGLIST @army-stay-noel, @hwangjuhong, @chizumiyoshi

📢 ©jisungsdaydreamer 2023 | All rights reserved. I do not condone translations or transfers of my work onto other platforms such as Wattpad, AO3, etc. Tumblr is my only platform. Acts of plagiarism are strictly prohibited.

[misterxsamsa]

There's many references found within JTHM, but I'm especially intrigued by the ones to Kafka's Metamorphosis and The Fly by David Cronenberg. They tie into Johnny's character progression very interestingly, alongside his idealization of Mister Samsa, and relationship with Reverend Meat following his death and ressurection.

At the start of the comics, Johnny is evidently a self-indulgent person, whether he'd honestly admit that to himself or not. While he attributes his murderous tendencies as nessecary for the blood wall's ends, or justified due to his misanthropic philosophies, it's largely for his own amusement. This self-indulgence is ultimately what drives him to try and kill Devi, and successfully murder his other numerous dates before her. He's incredibly starved of happiness, catharsis, and connection. So, he seeks to preserve that fleeting bliss by killing those who provide him these things he covets. He "protects" these emotional resources before they can be tainted by his flaws, or the agency of the person he's murdering. Throughout the comic, he allows his self-indulgence to control and consume his entire life, or what's left of it. It's this weakness that allows the Lovecraftian wall beast to securely latch onto his deteriorating mind without his notice. Not only that, but his lingering obsession with Devi continues to haunt him even after the last issue. It forces him into a painful self-awareness, about his own selfishness and dependency on others for the closeness they offer, despite his monologuing otherwise. Johnny destroyed something he cared about through his own irrational, and human desire. By the time he reaches this conclusion, he's barely even passionate about killing anymore.

His self-indulgence also takes the form of petulant anger towards humanity at large. By the time he dies, and especially when he visits hell, he begins to realize how self-destructive that misanthropy really was, and how much it distracted him from what was truly important. When he's thrown down into hell, everybody's exactly like him. They're obsessive and explosive about minor inconveniences, inane things. Johnny's able to recognize himself in the eternally damned, just as unaware of their own deterioration as he was, and that recognition chills him to the bone. It's these two experiences that fundamentally cement his hatred of self-indulgence and human desire. Instead of turning his hatred of human qualities onto others through psuedo-intellectual misanthropy, he begins to turn that criticism onto himself.

In his own words, his mind stinks! The longwinded philosophy that once defined him has now rightfully been declared superfluous, and he now seeks to discard it. His own desires for intimacy with others, something he once placated, has now gained a painful association because it's just a reminder of his fundamental distance from others, and the inevitability that he will hurt them. On some level, he's even seemingly aware he didn't truly care for many of the dates he killed. He was simply using them to satiate the desire for the illusion of connection. Through this vein of thought, he learns to admire Mister Samsa, as in Johnny's eyes he's devoid of his human plights, and tendency towards self-indulgent destructiveness. Furthermore, since Mister Samsa is so devoid of thought beyond self-preservation, he is unable to be emotionally damaged, something Johnny desperately aspires to. This is where our friend Franz Kafka and Metamorphosis comes into play, as due to the neutral perspective of JTHM it's easy to misconstrue this as an objectively positive change in thinking. The reality is actually much more complex, in my opinion.

Franz Kafka's Metamorphosis is about the gradual deterioration of Gregor Samsa, who has transformed into a giant bug overnight. As the story progresses, his family begins to not recognize the humanity in Samsa, mistreating and neglecting him until his tragic death. Eventually, Samsa forgets his own humanity as well, his mind and preoccupation receding into that of an insect. He gradually disconnects from his family's continuing lives, and entertains himself with crawling. By naming his house's roaches after Gregor Samsa, and aspiring towards his example, Johnny is repeating his tragedy.

Johnny's previous tendencies towards hypocracy, and self-indulgence hatred, are worth critiquing. However, it's worth asking whether Johnny's new approach is entirely constructive? There's a desire towards self-improvement, however warped, but it's being distorted by his shame and fear. He's casting off his wants to avoid hurting people he may admire, like Devi, but he's also doing it to avoid being hurt himself. If he allows himself to want things, he's setting himself up for the inevitable grief of loss and obsession, again like with Devi. Instead of trying to form a healthy connection with his own psychological and physical needs, Johnny has essentially opted to pretend like they don't exist. This is in spite of the fact that it's still his humanity, his emotions and experiences with relationships, that are driving him towards this decision.

By choosing this path of so-called recovery, he's dooming himself to perpetual loneliness, self-hatred, and dissatisfaction. If Johnny continues to deny these crucial parts of his personhood, it's doubtful whether he will ever reconstruct the version of himself that existed before the consumption caused by his wall demon. With that fact that he aspires to be "as cold as the moon", it's clear that's no longer of complete interest to him, as he doesn't value himself in any capacity. No wonder he's decided to find solidarity within a creature that's devoid of self, given that every cockaroach is declared as "Mister Samsa" to Johnny, because none of them have distinguishing features. He's chosen to follow in the itty bitty footsteps of Mister Samsa or Gregor Samsa, so he'll become as stripped and depleted as they did given enough time. Ironically, his repression and compartmentalization of the parts of himself he cannot escape are what eventually leads to the creation of Reverend Meat. It's very poignant that Johnny describes him as a "different version of Mr. Eff" as that's essentially what he is. They both reflect the different relationships, and fixations Johnny holds towards his own desires at different points in the story.

Previously, Johnny was primarily in the business of joyful escapism through the quenching of his cartoonishly muderous tendencies. Naturally, Mr. Eff enabled that part of Johnny's subconscious to distract and take advantage of him. However, Reverend Meat has no such ulterior motive given he's an authentic, non-sentient part of Johnny's inner dialogue. His purpose narratively is to display the futility of Johnny's quest towards the elimination of his own humanity. Despite his best efforts, he's still weak to the intrusive desires that Reverend Meat encapsulates, and his self-denial has only served to make them stronger. Once again, by refusing to aknowledge and manage his humanity, Johnny has allowed it to control him. Last we see him, he's in a Sisyphean conflict trying to destroy his impulses, while arguing with essentially himself conceptualized as a Burger Boy. Through this venture, he can't eliminate his motivating self-hatred nor Reverend Meat and the part of him he represents, and so his progress becomes somewhat circular. That's an important thing to keep in mind, Reverend Meat is a direct part of Johnny in the same capacity that Nailbunny is. All of Reverend Meat's thoughts are actually just Johnny's, and that applies tenfold to the desires he pushes.

Now, if I didn't already have you convinced let's talk about The Fly by David Cronenberg. It's about a scientist named Seth Brundle who undergoes his own metamorphosis, similarly to Gregor Samsa and Johnny. He accidentally fuses his DNA with that of a fly's while testing out his invention that will revolutionize human teleportation. While he's physically and mentally deteriorating from the botched experiment, he becomes erratic and irate in response to concern. In his mind, the teleportation process and deconstruction of himself on a molecular level was a form of transcendance. He's evolving beyond what humans can naturally be, and their baseline capabilities, into something more. He's talking about a "penetration beyond the veil of the flesh" — doesn't that sound familiar?

[SURPRISE, THIS WAS SECRETLY A TESS POST!]

By quoting The Fly in this context, Jhonen's not only covertly signaling the destructive nature of Johnny's self-denial, but establishing Johnny's aversion to physical intimacy in this panel as well. This is also when Mister Samsa makes his first appearence, and where we begin to come full circle. See, Johnny's not the only character shown to go through a Kafkaesque metamorphosis throughout the comics. There's another key player to the discussion of JTHM's relationship with Kafka, and that's Tess! Yes, really! So, it only makes sense that in this vignette where she speaks with Johnny, she's inextricably tied to JTHM's themes of transformation through The Fly and Metamorphosis.

Tess is introduced to the story, and Johnny's insanity, through the unsavory company she consistently finds herself around. She's a people pleaser that's good at heart, but struggles with feelings of social alienation, and engaging in the ridicule of others when succumbing to peer pressure. However, during her time kidnapped by Johnny she's able to gain perspective on herself and the people around her. She faces her own mortality, escapes the grasp of a world-ending Lovecraftian abomination, breaks up with her shitty boyfriend, all while learning to stand her ground. By the end of the comics, she's a much more assertive and grounded person, and seemingly doing well. This is where we circle back to Metamorphosis and talk about Gregor Samsa's sister, Grete. The short story is about her transformation just as much as his, though hers is portrayed as a more positive one. As her brother's condition worsens, she becomes his primary caretaker, and eventually a far more dignified and respected member of the family. She hurts and mistreats Gregor Samsa in the process, but the overall dichotomy between the two is that she excels while he eventually withers away. That's shown best by the fact that the story ends talking about her growth.

There's a similar contrast to be found between her and Johnny. While he chips away at his personhood, putting it through a series of increasingly strict constraints out of his own self-hatred and disgust. Tess is able to healthily overcome her flaws, and change her life for the better through self-acceptance as well as self-critique. Say, when we see her for the very first time, what movie is she seeing...?

Oh, just none other than Kafka! I rest my case!

[muiitoloko]

Hi! Love your writing so much that I try my best not to fall asleep/end my day until I read at least one of your works ❤️. I was hoping if you could continue writing another chapter of slope and the gypsy where they spend a day together full of fluff and end the day with smut (lol). Probably add some angst as well where they are struggling to spend time together especially in public because of their status, but in the end they don't care because of how much they love each other or something hahaha. Thank you! ❤️

Title: Sins of Desire

Summary: Caught between the expectations of the town and your gypsy roots, you confront Obadiah about his refusal to accept a part of who you are. As emotions flare, passion ignites in an unexpected moment of intimacy.

Pairing: Mr. Obadiah Slope × Fem! Reader

Warnings: Prejudice, Smut.

Author's Notes: Thank you so much for the love and dedication to my writing! ❤️ I really appreciate it! As for your request, I might have gone a bit off track while writing the next chapter 😅—so it didn’t turn out exactly as you asked for, but I think you’ll still enjoy where I took the story! Stay tuned, I hope it still hits the spot! 😉

First, Second, Third and Fourth part here.

Also read on Ao3

You sighed heavily as you turned the key in the lock, securing your shop for lunch. The jingle of the bell above the door was the only sound breaking the heavy silence of the empty street. It had been two weeks since your engagement to Mr. Obadiah Slope had been publicly announced, and the weight of that announcement had shifted your entire world.

The other gypsies in town—people you had grown up with, people who had once been like family—had turned their backs on you completely. They had shunned you, accusing you of betraying your race by becoming involved with a man like Slope, someone who had openly despised gypsies. Their words echoed in your mind: "You’re marrying the very man who called us heathens, who spoke ill of our people at every chance."

You couldn't argue with them. Slope had, at one time, harbored a deep resentment for the gypsies, his disdain plain in his sermons and in the way he carried himself around them. But people could change, couldn’t they? He had changed for you—or at least, you hoped he had.

The rejection from your own community wasn’t the only sting you felt. Conservative families in town were equally displeased with the engagement. Whispers had spread like wildfire, rumors that you had bewitched Slope, cast some sort of gypsy spell to make him fall in love with you. It was laughable, really, but you couldn’t shake the pang of sadness each time you overheard such cruel gossip.

No one believed it was possible for a man like Mr. Slope to truly love a woman like you—a gypsy, a woman who sold herbal remedies, a woman who had once been the subject of his contempt. But you knew better. You had seen the real Obadiah, the one who had shed his judgments and opened his heart to you, even as the rest of the town—and the gypsy community—turned against you both.

As you stood there, lost in thought, you heard the familiar sound of steady footsteps approaching. A slight smile tugged at the corners of your lips even before you turned around, knowing exactly who it was.

"Obadiah," you said softly as he came into view, his tall, thin frame silhouetted against the afternoon sun.

Mr. Slope smiled as he reached you, his hazel eyes warm with affection. "There you are, my love," he greeted you in his deep baritone voice, a sound that always seemed to soothe your frayed nerves. He took your hand in his, his touch gentle but reassuring. "I thought I might steal you away for our usual walk."

You nodded, grateful for his presence. "I could use some fresh air," you admitted, glancing down the street where a few townspeople gave the two of you curious, if not outright disapproving, glances.

Slope followed your gaze, his expression hardening momentarily before he sighed, shaking his head. "Let them look," he muttered, his voice carrying a hint of frustration. "Let them whisper their nonsense. I don’t care what they think."

You looked up at him, your eyes searching his face for any sign of doubt. "Do you really mean that?" you asked, your voice barely more than a whisper. "With everything they’re saying—about us, about me—how can you be so calm?"

Obadiah stopped walking and turned to face you, his hazel eyes softening as he cupped your cheek gently. "I do mean it," he said firmly, his voice full of conviction. "They can say whatever they like, but it doesn’t change how I feel about you. You’re the woman I love, and no amount of gossip or disdain from the town or your people will make me change my mind."

Your heart ached at his words, and you leaned into his touch, feeling the warmth of his hand against your skin. "But the gypsies, Obadiah—they won’t speak to me. They think I’ve betrayed them by being with you. And the townsfolk… they say I’ve bewitched you." You laughed bitterly, shaking your head. "As if love is some kind of spell."

Slope’s expression grew more serious, his thumb brushing gently across your cheek. "You haven’t bewitched me," he said softly, his voice carrying a tenderness that made your chest tighten. "I was a fool before, I’ll admit that. I was blinded by my own prejudices, my own misguided sense of righteousness. But I see clearly now, and what I see is a woman who is strong, intelligent, and kind. I love you, not because of some spell, but because of who you are."

You blinked back the tears that threatened to spill over, overwhelmed by his sincerity. "I love you too, Obadiah," you whispered, your voice trembling. "I just… I don’t want to lose everyone else because of it."

He took a deep breath, his hand sliding down to grasp yours firmly. "I know it’s not easy," he said, his voice gentle but resolute. "But we’ll face it together. And in time, they’ll see. They’ll see that what we have is real."

You nodded, though the weight of it all still hung heavy in your heart. It was difficult to believe that things would change, that people would come to accept your relationship. But as you stood there, your hand in Obadiah’s, you felt a small glimmer of hope. Maybe, just maybe, love could be stronger than prejudice.

"Come on," Slope said softly, tugging you gently down the street. "Let’s take our walk. The world may be against us, but right now, all that matters is that we’re together."

You smiled, allowing him to lead you, the warmth of his hand in yours a comforting reminder that no matter what others thought, you weren’t alone in this. As you walked through the town, heads turned, and whispers followed in your wake. But for the first time in weeks, you didn’t care. You had Obadiah, and that was enough.

As you and Slope walked side by side through the narrow streets of Barchester, the atmosphere between you seemed oddly formal, even restrained. His hand barely brushed yours, and though he occasionally glanced your way, he kept his gaze forward, his posture rigid, his demeanor reflecting the decorum expected of a man in his position. The townspeople who passed by whispered as they always did, but Slope remained unbothered, his focus seemingly on something else entirely.

After a long stretch of silence, Slope finally cleared his throat, his deep baritone breaking the stillness. "I've spoken to the bishop," he said, his tone measured and calm, as though he were delivering an important sermon. "And we’ve set a date for the wedding."

You blinked, surprised. He hadn’t mentioned anything about setting a date before today. "Already?" you asked, trying to gauge his expression. "When is it?"

"Two weeks from now," he replied, his voice steady but with a hint of urgency. "In the church, of course. The bishop advised that, given our... situation, it would be best to marry as soon as possible."

You frowned slightly. "Our situation?"

Slope gave you a sidelong glance, his expression hardening just a bit. "I told the bishop that we have had relations before marriage," he said, his tone dropping into something more serious. "He insisted that we make things right in the eyes of God as quickly as possible. So, we will be wed in the Anglican church."

You nodded slowly, absorbing the news. It was a relief to know that the wedding plans were moving forward, but something tugged at you. "And when will we have the gypsy wedding?" you asked, keeping your voice light, though you already suspected the answer.

Slope stopped walking abruptly, his hand falling away from yours. He turned to you with a frown, his hazel eyes narrowing slightly. "A gypsy wedding?" he repeated, as if the words themselves were foreign and distasteful to him. "We will not be having a gypsy wedding. That's pagan nonsense, and I will not be part of such things."

You stared at him, shocked by the bluntness of his words. "But Obadiah," you began, your voice rising with disbelief, "I'm a gypsy. It’s part of my heritage. I want a traditional gypsy wedding too, not just the Anglican ceremony."

Slope’s expression darkened, his thin lips pressing together in disapproval. "I am an Anglican," he said firmly, his voice taking on the tone of a man who considered this matter closed. "I cannot and will not be involved in those kinds of pagan rituals. It’s out of the question."

You felt a surge of anger rising in your chest, your hands balling into fists at your sides. "Pagan?" you echoed incredulously. "Is that really what you think of my people’s traditions? Pagan nonsense?"

He shrugged, his face a mask of indifference. "It’s not proper, not in the eyes of the church. You should be content with the ceremony we're having, the one that matters."

You took a step back, your heart pounding in your chest. How could he dismiss something so important to you so easily? "It matters to me," you said, your voice shaking with a mix of hurt and frustration. "A gypsy wedding is part of who I am, Obadiah. How can you ask me to give that up?"

Slope��s jaw tightened, his eyes flashing with impatience. "You should be grateful I’m even marrying you at all, given the circumstances," he said coldly, his voice laced with condescension. "I’ve already compromised enough by marrying outside the expectations of my position. I will not compromise further by indulging in heathen rituals."

You stared at him, stunned by his words. For a moment, you couldn’t speak, your mind reeling with disbelief. How could he claim to love you and yet refuse to accept such an important part of your identity? You had thought he had changed, that his prejudices had softened, but it was clear now that the man standing before you still held onto the very judgments that had once kept you apart.

Without another word, you turned on your heel and started back toward your shop, your head held high despite the tears stinging at the corners of your eyes. You couldn’t be around him right now, not after hearing such hurtful words.

"Where are you going?" Slope called after you, his voice a mixture of confusion and annoyance. "I asked you which restaurant you’d like to go to. We still have our lunch plans."

But you didn’t respond, your steps quickening as you marched away, your thoughts a jumble of anger and sadness. How could he dismiss your heritage so easily, as if it meant nothing? How could he expect you to simply abandon a part of who you were just to fit into his rigid, narrow world?

Behind you, Slope huffed in frustration before following after you, his longer strides quickly catching up. "This is ridiculous," he muttered, more to himself than to you. "You’re being unreasonable, and we need to discuss this like adults."

You didn’t slow down or acknowledge his words, your anger too raw to deal with his dismissive tone. All you knew was that you needed space—space from him, space to think.

You unlocked the door to your shop and stepped inside, your heart heavy with the weight of the argument you had just had with Obadiah Slope. The familiar scent of dried herbs and tinctures filled the air, usually a source of comfort, but today it did nothing to ease the ache in your chest. Without bothering to turn on the lights, you made your way to the stairs that led to your living quarters above the shop, faintly aware of Slope’s footsteps behind you.

You clenched your fists, trying to hold back the emotions swirling inside you, but as you reached the first few steps, you couldn’t take it anymore. Turning abruptly, you faced him on the narrow staircase.

"Leave," you said, your voice sharper than you intended, though it trembled slightly with emotion.

Slope didn’t obey. He stood there, a few steps below you, his tall frame still at eye level with yours. His hazel eyes, usually so composed, were now filled with a mixture of frustration and something softer—regret, perhaps.

"Don’t act like this," he said, his baritone voice gentle but firm, as if he were speaking to a child throwing a tantrum. "A gypsy wedding isn’t important."

His words cut through you like a blade, and you felt a flare of anger rise in your chest. "It’s important to me," you countered, your voice rising as the emotion you’d been holding back began to spill over. "If you can’t see that, if you can’t handle the fact that I want to hold on to my roots, then I don’t see the point in marrying you."

His eyes widened, a flash of panic crossing his features. "You can’t be serious," he said, climbing another step, his hand reaching out toward you as if he could stop the words from coming out of your mouth.

But you shook your head, your decision made. "I am," you said, your voice breaking slightly. "The engagement is off."

You turned to go back upstairs, the tears threatening to spill over as you fought to hold onto your dignity, but Slope grabbed your arm, his grip firm but not painful. "You can’t end this," he said, his voice thick with desperation. "You’re overreacting."

You struggled against his grip, trying to pull away, but he held on, refusing to let go. "I can and I will," you said, your voice filled with hurt and frustration. "I don’t want to marry a man who doesn’t accept my race."

The words hung in the air between you, heavy and final. You could feel the pressure of it all—the whispers of the townspeople, the rejection from your own community, and now Slope’s inability to truly accept who you were—pushing down on you, threatening to crush you under its weight. Your chest felt tight, and you blinked rapidly, trying to hold back the tears, but it was no use. The dam broke, and a few stubborn tears slipped down your cheeks.

Slope sighed deeply, his grip on your arm loosening but not letting go. He climbed another step, now standing just below you, his hazel eyes softening as he brought his hand to your face, wiping away the tears with a tenderness that caught you off guard.

"Don’t cry," he murmured, his voice low and soothing, though the tension in his posture remained. "I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just… I don’t understand it. The gypsy wedding, the traditions. Explain it to me."

You sniffed, your heart still aching, but his softened tone broke through the wall of anger you had built up. You hit his chest lightly, more out of frustration than anything else, but when he didn’t let go, you gave up struggling, your hands gripping the fabric of his robes instead. Your body slumped against him, exhausted from the emotional turmoil of the past few weeks.

Slope’s arms wrapped around you, holding you close, and though you wanted to push him away, the warmth of his embrace was too comforting to resist. You buried your face in his chest, the tears coming more freely now as he gently stroked your hair.

"It’s just…" you began, your voice muffled against his chest, "a gypsy wedding is more than just a ceremony. It’s a celebration of who we are, of our people. It’s filled with music and dancing, with colors and laughter. It’s about community, about being surrounded by family and friends, about keeping our traditions alive."

Slope listened in silence, his fingers still gently running through your hair. You could feel him breathing deeply, as though absorbing your words, trying to understand.

"It’s not just about us," you continued, your voice trembling as you spoke through your tears. "It’s about my roots, about honoring where I came from. I’ve already lost so much—my people won’t speak to me, the town thinks I’m some kind of witch. All I have left is my heritage, and you’re asking me to give that up too."

Slope tightened his arms around you, pressing his lips to the top of your head. "I didn’t realize," he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. "I didn’t know it meant that much to you."

"It does," you said, pulling back slightly to look up at him, your eyes still wet with tears. "And if you can’t accept that, then how can we be together?"

Slope sighed again, his thumb brushing away another tear from your cheek. He looked at you for a long moment, his hazel eyes searching yours, and then, after what felt like an eternity, he nodded slowly.

"I can’t have a full gypsy wedding," he said, his voice quiet but steady. "You know that. But… maybe we can find a way to incorporate some of the traditions into the church ceremony. Nothing too scandalous, of course," he added with a wry smile. "But enough that you can still hold on to your roots."

Your heart swelled with hope, and though the sadness still lingered, you felt the weight on your chest begin to lift. "You’d really do that?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

Slope cupped your face in his hands, his eyes filled with a sincerity that made your heart ache. "I love you," he said simply. "And if this is important to you, then we’ll find a way to make it work. Together."

A few more tears escaped, but this time they were tears of relief. You leaned into his touch, your hands still gripping his robes as you rested your forehead against his. "Thank you," you whispered, your voice thick with emotion.

Slope smiled, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. "I’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy," he murmured against your skin, his voice a low, soothing rumble. "Even if that means dancing at our wedding."

You laughed softly, the sound a mixture of relief and disbelief. "You’d really dance?"

"For you?" he said, his smile widening as he looked down at you, his eyes twinkling with affection. "I’d dance, sing, and wear all the colors of the rainbow if it meant I could see you smile again."

You smiled, your heart feeling lighter than it had in weeks. Maybe, just maybe, things could work out after all.

Slope pulled you close again, his arms wrapped around you in a warm, protective embrace. "We’ll make it work," he whispered. "I promise."

And for the first time in a long time, you believed him.

You pulled him in for a kiss, your lips crashing against his in a moment of desperate passion. Slope hesitated for a second, but then his hands found your waist, pulling you closer as he groaned into your mouth. The heat between you was undeniable, your heart pounding as the kiss deepened, both of you lost in the intensity of the moment.

Your hand slipped down the front of his clerical robes, the fabric soft beneath your fingers as you traced the outline of his chest. Slowly, deliberately, your hand wandered lower, brushing against his groin. You felt the slight resistance beneath the fabric of his pants, his cock soft, and you gave it a gentle stroke, teasing him through the layers of cloth.

Slope broke the kiss suddenly, his breath ragged as he caught your wrist and pulled your hand away. "No," he murmured, his voice thick with frustration. "I promised the bishop... I swore I would abstain from this until we’re married."

You whimpered, the sound filled with disappointment, your body aching with need. "But Obadiah..." you whispered, pressing yourself against him, your lips brushing against his ear. "I want to feel you."

He groaned softly, his eyes closing for a moment as if he were fighting an internal battle. You could feel the tension in his body, the way his muscles tensed beneath your touch, and you knew he wanted it as much as you did. But when he opened his eyes again, there was a firm resolve in them, his hazel gaze steady and unyielding.

"We can’t," he said, his voice low and strained. "I gave my word."

You let out a soft sigh of frustration, your fingers curling into the fabric of his robe. "Just a little..." you begged, your voice a breathy whisper as you leaned in to kiss the corner of his mouth. "Please... at least touch me, Obadiah. Over my clothes... I need you."

His body stiffened, and for a long moment, you thought he might refuse again. But then, with a resigned sigh, he allowed his hand to drift downward, his fingers tracing the curve of your waist before moving to rest on your hip.

"Just this," he whispered, his voice barely audible, as if he were trying to convince himself as much as you. His hand slid across the fabric of your skirt, grazing the curve of your ass, sending a shiver of anticipation through you.

"Yes," you breathed, your own hands clutching his robes as you pressed your body against him. "Please, Obadiah, touch me."

His hand moved higher, tracing the line of your body as he cupped your breast through the fabric of your blouse. His fingers were gentle at first, hesitant, but as your soft moan filled the air, he grew bolder, kneading your flesh with a firm, deliberate touch.

You gasped, arching into his hand, the pleasure shooting through you like lightning. "Yes," you whimpered, your breath coming in shallow pants as his thumb brushed over your nipple, even through the fabric. "Just like that..."

He groaned again, the sound low and guttural, his resolve wavering as his fingers teased and caressed you. You could feel the tension building between you, the heat of his body pressed against yours, the way his touch sent waves of desire coursing through you.

"God help me," Slope muttered under his breath, his lips brushing against your neck as his hand moved lower, tracing the line of your waist, his fingers slipping beneath the hem of your skirt. You gasped, your heart racing as his hand inched higher, grazing the bare skin of your thigh.

"Please..." you whispered, your voice trembling with need. "Don’t stop..."

His fingers hesitated at the edge of your panties, trembling slightly as if caught between desire and restraint. But you were relentless, pulling him closer, your back pressing against the cool wall of the staircase as you opened your legs wider, giving him more access. Your hand gripped his wrist firmly, guiding him, showing him what you needed—what you both needed.

"Touch me, Obadiah," you whispered, your breath hot against his ear as your body pressed eagerly into his. His hesitation was palpable, but the moment his long fingers brushed against the damp fabric of your panties, you felt a shudder pass through him.

He groaned softly, his voice a low, guttural sound that sent a wave of heat rushing through you. His fingers moved slowly, cautiously, feeling the damp cotton that clung to your skin, growing wetter with each passing second. His touch was tentative at first, but as he pressed his fingers more firmly against the fabric, feeling your arousal, his caution began to melt away.

"You're so wet," Slope murmured, his voice thick with both awe and desire as his fingers traced over the soaked fabric. "God, I shouldn’t be doing this."

"But you are," you breathed, your own voice trembling with need as you pressed his hand harder against you, rolling your hips into his touch. "And it feels so good, doesn’t it? Don’t stop."

His hazel eyes met yours, and for a moment, you saw the conflict still raging within him, but it was clear he was losing that battle. The heat between you was undeniable, the way your body responded to his touch, the way his fingers began to explore you through the fabric. His thumb brushed over your swollen clit, sending a jolt of pleasure through your body that made you gasp.

Slope groaned again, his lips finding your neck as his fingers rubbed slow, deliberate circles over your panties, teasing the sensitive bundle of nerves beneath. You whimpered, your body trembling as you leaned further against the wall, your legs spreading wider to give him better access.

"You like that, don’t you?" he muttered, his baritone voice thick with desire as his fingers moved with more confidence, the damp fabric clinging to your skin as he teased you mercilessly. "God help me, I can’t stop."

"Yes," you gasped, your hands clutching at his robes, pulling him closer as his thumb continued to circle your clit, the pressure sending waves of pleasure coursing through you. "Oh, Obadiah, don’t stop… please…"

His fingers grew more insistent, pressing harder against the wet fabric of your panties, feeling the heat of your arousal beneath. His other hand came to rest on your hip, holding you firmly in place as he continued to rub you, his breathing ragged, his control slipping away with each passing second.

"You're driving me mad," he muttered, his lips brushing against your ear as his fingers worked faster, your body arching into his touch. "I’ve never wanted anything so badly."

You moaned softly, your hips bucking against his hand as the pleasure built inside you, a fire that threatened to consume you both. "I’m so close," you whispered, your voice breathless, desperate. "Please… don’t stop…"

His fingers pressed harder, his thumb moving in perfect rhythm over your clit, teasing you relentlessly through the thin fabric. The sensation was overwhelming, the friction building to an unbearable peak as your body trembled with need. You were on the edge, teetering on the brink of release, your entire body aching for that final push.

Slope surprised you by suddenly dropping to his knees in front of you, his long frame folding awkwardly on the narrow staircase. His hands gripped your hips as he looked up at you, his hazel eyes filled with a mixture of desire and guilt. You could see the internal struggle still playing out behind those eyes, but his body betrayed him, and you knew he wanted this as much as you did.

He lifted one of your legs and carefully placed it on his shoulder, his fingers sliding up your thigh as he pushed your skirt higher, exposing more of your skin. The cool air of the room made you shiver, but it was nothing compared to the heat that radiated from Slope’s breath as he leaned in closer, his lips brushing against the damp fabric of your panties. The sensation sent a jolt of pleasure straight to your core, and you gasped, your hands gripping the banister for support.

"Obadiah… what are you—" you began, your voice breathless, but he cut you off with a low, determined growl.

"Shh," Slope murmured, his breath hot against your soaked panties. "This is the most I can give you… until we’re married."

You whimpered softly, your body trembling with anticipation as his lips pressed firmly against the fabric, kissing you through the thin cotton. The sensation was maddening—so close, yet still not enough. You could feel the heat of his mouth, the pressure of his lips, but there was still that frustrating barrier between you. It was the ultimate tease, and it drove you wild.

"Please, Slope," you begged, your voice trembling with need as you rolled your hips, trying to get more friction. "I need more…"

But Slope was nothing if not determined to keep his word, even as he fell deeper into temptation. His hands tightened on your hips, holding you in place as he kissed you again, this time more firmly, his tongue flicking out to taste the dampness that had soaked through the fabric. He groaned softly at the taste of you, his lips parting as he pressed his face more firmly against your pussy, his breath coming in ragged, heated gasps.

"God help me," Slope muttered, his voice thick with desire as he continued to kiss and tease you through your panties, the thin fabric clinging to your wetness. "You taste so good… I can’t stop."

His words sent a shiver of arousal through you, your body aching for more as his tongue traced slow, deliberate circles over the damp fabric, teasing the sensitive bundle of nerves beneath. It was maddening—the way he gave you just enough to keep you on the edge, but not enough to push you over.

"Obadiah… please…" you whimpered, your fingers curling into his hair as you tugged him closer, desperate for more of his touch. "I’m so close…"

Slope groaned softly, his lips pressing harder against you as he kissed your pussy through your panties, his tongue sliding up and down your slit, tasting your arousal as he pushed you closer to the edge. The sensation was overwhelming, your body trembling with need as he continued his relentless teasing.

"You’re so wet," Slope muttered, his breath hot against you as he kissed the fabric once more, his lips brushing against your clit. "You’re driving me mad."

You moaned softly, your hips bucking against his mouth as the pleasure built inside you, a fire that threatened to consume you both. "Don’t stop…" you begged, your voice breathless as you felt the tension building in your core, the friction of his mouth against your soaked panties sending waves of pleasure through you. "Please… don’t stop…"

Slope’s hands gripped your hips tighter, his resolve slipping further as he pressed his mouth more firmly against you, kissing and sucking at the damp fabric with a desperation that mirrored your own. His tongue traced slow, deliberate circles over your clit, the sensation so close to what you needed.

You could feel your orgasm building, the heat pooling in your belly as your body tensed, teetering on the edge of release. "I’m going to come…" you gasped, your voice trembling as you clutched at his hair, your legs shaking with the effort to stay standing. "Please… please don’t stop…"

Slope groaned softly, his hands sliding up your thighs as he held you steady, his mouth working in perfect rhythm against your pussy, his tongue flicking over your clit as he kissed you through your panties. The friction was unbearable, the tension building to a fever pitch as your body trembled with need.

"Yes…" you whimpered, your voice barely more than a breath as you felt the first wave of your orgasm crashing over you. "Oh God… yes…"

Your body convulsed with pleasure, your hips bucking against Slope’s mouth as your orgasm ripped through you, the sensation so intense it left you breathless. Slope groaned softly, his lips still pressed against you as he continued to kiss and tease you through the fabric, drawing out every last wave of pleasure until you were trembling in his arms.

When it was over, Slope slowly pulled back, his lips slick with your arousal as he looked up at you, his hazel eyes filled with a mixture of guilt and desire. "I… I shouldn’t have done that," he muttered, his voice thick with regret as he carefully lowered your leg from his shoulder. "But I couldn’t help myself."

You looked down at him, still breathless from your orgasm, your heart pounding as you tried to catch your breath. "I don’t care," you whispered, your voice soft but full of conviction. "I needed you… and you gave me what I needed."

Slope stood slowly, his body trembling with restraint as he adjusted his robes, his eyes never leaving yours. "We can’t do this again," he said, his voice firm but tinged with the lingering desire that still hung heavy between you. "Not until we’re married."

You smiled softly, reaching out to cup his cheek, your thumb brushing gently over his skin. "We’ll see," you murmured, your voice full of promise as you leaned in to kiss him, your lips soft and teasing against his. "We’ll see."

As you kissed him, Slope groaned softly, his resolve slipping once again as his arms wrapped around you, pulling you close. The heat between you was undeniable, the tension crackling in the air as you both struggled to maintain control. But deep down, you both knew that this was far from over.

[crazycurly-77]

Memory Loss - Chapter 15

He felt like was going crazy. 

He felt hurt and betrayed by you. He thought he was cheated on again, even though he had done everything for this relationship. His heart was trampled on again.

There was something you were not telling him. You were talking to other people and changing the subject or ending the conversation when he entered the room.

You also answered the phone using your previous name.

With these thoughts in mind, he drove to his bar and got drunk. Then he drove to Jenny's with the intention of sleeping with her and getting back at you this way.

Jenny refused, calmed him down and let him sleep on her couch.

She called you to tell you that he was with her and drunk. She also reported that he thought you were cheating on him and that is why he wanted to sleep with her, but she refused.

“We have to tell him, maybe that will help him more,” you thought. 

But you had no chance to do so, because as soon as Gibbs got home the next morning, he confronted you.

Raging with anger, jealousy and disappointment he cornered you with his body and pressed you with your back against the wall

“Why don't you want any intimacy? 

Do we have troubles in our marriage? 

Are you betraying me?! Who is the other one?”

You tried to stay brave, but you couldn't. Your tears began to roll down your cheeks and you collapsed. 

Defeated you whispered to him

“We aren't married.”

He didn't show any reaction and only asked “So who am I to you?” 

“My boss,” you whispered, looking away from him. 

He took your chin in his hand and turned your head so you had to look at him. Then he mumbled softly and despaired

“And nothing more?” 

While you thought about the best way to respond and he waited for it, there was a deafening silence spreading between you. 

Then he queried 

“Was any of this real and serious for you?” 

“At first not, but it became serious pretty fast” you sighed deeply, looking him into his eyes and fearfully awaiting his next move. 

He looked into your eyes searching for the truth. Then he closed his eyes with a feeling that ripped his heart in a thousand pieces and said without any emotion

“Go out of my sight, I don't want to see you again.” 

He let go of you and went down to the basement to his bourbon while you stumbled upstairs to get your things. 

Thankfully it wasn't much, so you were quickly finished packing and then leaving his house. With a final teary look you said farewell to your home, to him and to your heart, which he will have until the day you die. If he wanted it or not, he was the love of your life and nothing will ever change that. 

Down in the basement he heard the door close and thought he was ripped apart and he would die because of this immense pain. How could she do this to him? He loved her with all his heart and all that he was and she lied to him and betrayed him. Why?

It was a happy fairytale, but happiness was obviously not meant for him. 

So he downed one glass after another, trying to get drunk and forget the pain to be able to go on somehow. 

He sulked in his self-pity for two days, while you were in your bed crying your eyes out. You had both taken a few days off, so the others assumed you had a big fight with each other. 

Of course Ducky worried about the pair of you and tried to speak to you both. He couldn't help you much, but he wrapped you in his arms, stroked your back and tried to soothe you. 

He found Gibbs in his basement right as he guessed. 

“How are you?” he asked his old friend. 

Gibbs didn't look at him and worked further on his boat. Then he answered with a cynical “good.”

Ducky huffed out “yeah, sure.”

Gibbs growled “what do you expect me to feel? I was betrayed again! This time it was my best friend and my wife, no less.”

He paused, huffed out and then continued

“No, that's not true. My best friend and my co-worker. Because she isn't my wife, is she?” 

He took his glass and downed it in one gulp. 

“Gibbs…”

“No. I don't want to hear that you are both sorry. You both betrayed me!” 

“No, we never lied to you. We just didn't tell you that you are not married so that your brain can reboot as softly as possible to avoid any damage.

And yes, it was hard. Especially for her, because she loved you all the time, but feared your wrath when you remember the truth. She said you will hate her and never speak to her again and it seems she is right.”

He paused, turned to leave, but made a few steps back to Gibbs and stated

“She did this only for you to help you and that's your thank you to her?”

Gibbs hesitated briefly and then mumbled “I made an ass out of myself.”

Ducky laughed lightly “Yes, because you love her. And because she loves you too, she made an ass out of herself equally.”

With a smile, he continued “I guess you have strong feelings for her, if you think you are married to her and this is something you should think about carefully.”

Then he left Gibbs to think about what he said. And he very much hoped that you both came to your senses and worked this out.

(To be continued...only 1 more chapter!)

---------------------------------------------

Tags: @ilovemark1951, @hobby27

[amber-of-ember-glows]

“You forgot me.”

“I didn’t forget you, I just…”

“You forgot about me.”

“No!” Arthur denies vehemently, shaking his head emphatically in an attempt to make Merlin listen. “I didn’t forget about you. It’s just– usually I can...sense you, your presence, and it was like you weren’t separated from me at all, it felt as if you were right there with me.”

“Oh,” Merlin says, breathlessly, because he knew that he was there with Arthur, but he hadn’t realized, hadn’t been prepared for the fact that, instinctually, Arthur had known that, too. Merlin had initially been annoyed when he, disguised as the Dolma, had needed to remind Arthur of Merlin’s existence. That annoyance had been closely followed by hurt at the notion that he was nothing more than an afterthought to Arthur, even after all this time.

“Yeah…” Arthur finishes awkwardly, the usual discomfort that comes along with baring his emotions apparent on his face. The expression on his face changes then, closes of a bit, faux-annoyance taking over his features. “Are you done being such a baby now?”

Whatever wave of touched affection that had been coursing through Merlin crashes to an immediate halt. He clenches his jaw and lifts his chin in defiant irritation. Arthur softens a bit a the fiery look in his eyes. Slowly moving closer, Arthur’s hands come up to frame Merlin’s face, thumbs caressing his cheekbones gently.

“I don’t think I am capable of forgetting you even if I tried. You haven’t left my mind since the day we met.”

The look on Merlin’s face turns heart-achingly vulnerable at Arthur’s words, wide-eyed and slightly parted lips. Arthur presses his forehead against Merlin’s, and Merlin’s hands wrap around Arthur’s wrists where he is still cupping Merlin’s face. For a simultaneously too short and endless while, all they do is breathe in the other, basking in the closeness, the intimacy of the moment. Arthur tilts Merlin’s head slightly and nuzzles against him with his nose before letting his lips graze lightly against Merlin’s. A barely-there touch of their lips, but it is enough to halt Merlin’s thoughts in their track and his mind to momentarily empty.

“Merlin,” Arthur says around a breath of air. The heady tint and low cadence of his voice sends shivers down Merlin’s spine. Heart beating harshly in his chest, Merlin groans and crashes his mouth against Arthur’s. His hands find their way into soft hair, pulling Arthur ever-closer to him. He feels dizzy, intoxicated, at the feel of Arthur against him, at the reality of the situation. One of Arthur’s hands wraps around the nape of Merlin’s neck, gripping a grounding hold of him as their mouths move together. The urgency of their kisses ebbs and flows, going from desperate and burning to slow and languid, and back again.

Eventually with a few, final chaste kisses, they pull apart, leaning back enough to lock eyes, but not moving out of the embrace they have found themselves in. Merlin looks at Arthur and Arthur looks at Merlin, both content in the moment even as the changes between them solidify. Merlin feels safe, comfortable in it in a way he had never been able to imagine. He had never allowed himself to imagine this happening, and even in his wildest imagination, wherein he allowed himself to indulge in the fantasy of what it might be like, there would be some nerves, some backtracking, maybe even some denial.

“I couldn’t forget you, either,” Merlin admits softly, eyes boring into Arthur’s. Arthur looks touched for a moment, a ripple of emotion crossing his face, before he schools himself, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.

“Well, I am remarkably memorable.”

Merlin groans and rolls his eyes. It doesn’t prevent an amused huff of air from leaving him or his lips from twitching as he tries to suppress the smile trying to make itself known. “Shut up,” he says and pushes Arthur with one hand on his – very solid – chest, even while keeping him close with the other.

The easy, tender smile on Arthur’s face, the adoring eyes as they roam Merlin’s face, the gentle touches of his hands on him are too much. All of it makes Merlin ache in the best way possible, his chest feels tight around the whirling emotions within him, yet despite how loaded everything is, he feels light, lighter than he has felt in years. He can do nothing to stop the smile shaping his lips, or to stop himself from closing the distance between them once more, desperately needing the heat of Arthur’s breath, the taste of him now that he has finally gotten a glimpse into that slice of paradise.

[mysterious-moonstruck-musings]

Destiny & Deliverance: Chapter 19

Destiny & Deliverance Masterlist ||| Dieter Bravo X OFC Smut & Language - Minors DNI New as of 8/31/2023

SUPPORT YOUR CREATORS. REBLOGGING & COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED.

Series Rating: Explicit (18+)

Series Summary: Natalia Cohen is experiencing major life changes, beginning with leaving an emotionally abusive husband. She is learning how to navigate life on her own while dealing with high functioning anxiety, depression, and mild PTSD. Everything is looking up for her. She is a highly respected consultant for a major LA firm, has her best friend, Lauren, by her side, and is on her path to healing. Everything changes when she meets a handsome and broken stranger on a work trip. He turns out to be a well-known actor, with a heart-breaking past. They quickly develop a connection that will forever alter their lives. 

Warnings: Themes dealing with mental health, emotional trauma, alcohol use, and discussions about suicide. There will be fluff, tears, spicy language, and smut. This will be a slow burn type of story. Read at your own risk.

Chapter Quote: "Did we really just fuck in the hallway?"

Dieter and I were a little late getting out of bed that morning. After our post-sleep declarations, we indulged in our physical intimacy for a while longer, which led to a cold breakfast. Not that either of us minded. Given that we still couldn’t keep our hands off each other, it seemed that neither of us were satiated after the morning exploits. I probably could have skipped breakfast all together if it meant spending more time wrapped up in his naked embrace.     

Once we finished with breakfast, we got ready and spent the afternoon at a nearby winery which used the final product from the vineyard to make their wine. I learned more than I ever needed to know about wine making. I also tasted a lot more than I should have. As the visit went on, I found myself more focused on watching the way Dieter’s mouth moved when he spoke than listening to what he was saying. I was pretty buzzed by the time we left and only had one thing on my mind. I just wanted to get back to the house and have my way with him. Based on his darkened eyes and firm touches, he seemed to reciprocate that feeling.         

After we got back to the house, we couldn’t even behave ourselves long enough to make it to the bedroom. I pinned him against the wall in the upstairs hallway, kissing him urgently, while pulling at his belt buckle. The alcohol was clearly affecting my decision-making skills. He didn’t seem to mind as he backed me up against the wall on the opposite side of the hallway, lifting the long skirt I had worn for our outing. He was pleasantly surprised to find I had nothing underneath. I gave him a wry smile as he looked at me with wide eyes. 

“Have you been like this all day?” he asked, somewhat breathlessly. 

“I’m starting to find undergarments to be a hindrance when certain situations arise. The less I have in the way of fucking you the better.” 

He let out a low groan before he started kissing me again. I finally freed him from his briefs as he lifted one of my legs to hook around his waist. He rubbed his tip at my entrance, finding that I was ready for him. He wasted no time sinking into me, continuing with hard thrusts. We buried our faces in each other’s necks, trying to stifle the sounds that escaped. I knotted one of my hands in the front of his shirt, while the other pulled at his hair. He used one arm to brace himself against the wall to support both of us, while his other hand held my leg in place around his waist. The angle of his movements provided the most electrifying friction against my center, eliciting an intense release that radiated out to all parts of my body causing my head to fall back against the wall. I bit my lower lip, trying to hold back the sounds escaping from my mouth. He spilled into me moments later as he let out a strangled moan into my neck. 

We sat unmoving for some time, both of us panting heavily and covered in a light sheen of sweat. He dropped my leg and moved to kiss me. His hand grabbed at my hip tightly as our tongues danced with one another. He finally pulled away, resting his forehead against mine. He let out a small laugh against my lips. 

“Did we really just fuck in the hallway?” I let out a chuckle in response.

“We did, and I would do it again with no reservations.”

He responded by giving me one last kiss before turning to button his pants. We finally made it to our room where we spent several minutes cleaning ourselves up. We were both flushed and had freshly fucked hair. We couldn’t look at each other without breaking into smiles. I was honestly shocked at how my body was responding to him. I had never felt this turned on by someone before. The more I indulged in him, the worse it got. I guessed it was payback for avoiding it for so long. It was coming back to bite me with gusto.  

Once we were both presentable, we headed toward the patio for dinner. Lucia was just finishing setting everything up as we walked out. She spent a few minutes chatting with us about our day. She had a genuine smile on her face the entire time and seemed happy to have Dieter there. He was clearly in a happier mood than he had been upon our arrival, and it was infectious.

Lucia eventually left us alone to eat. We were surprisingly quiet during our meal. Mostly just enjoying being in each other’s company. Afterwards, we walked over to a grassy area that was a short distance away from the house. Dieter was surprised when I laid down on the grass to look at the stars. 

“What are you doing?” he asked with a laugh. 

“Looking at the sky. You don’t get to see it like this in the city.”

He agreed as he laid down beside me. We were silent for a few minutes before I spoke up again.

“Can I ask you some questions? You don’t have to answer if it’s too much.” 

I felt his hand move to search out mine. My hand met with his and entwined our fingers together. He inhaled deeply before agreeing. 

“The woman in the pictures, is that your mom?”

I could hear the smile in his voice, “Yeah, that’s her. I can’t believe that’s one of the first things you went for when you walked into the house. Why did that get your attention?”

I felt a small wave of emotion wash over me as I continued to look at the sky, realizing what it was that drew me in. 

“Her eyes. They had the same look you have sometimes.”

I felt his hand tighten in mine. I didn’t elaborate on what I meant by that, but I think he knew. I wasn’t sure why, but it gave me an uneasy feeling.  

“Did you really bring me white roses the first time you came over because they’re a personal favorite or did it mean something to you?” 

He snorted and laughed as he rolled over onto his side to prop himself up on an elbow to look down at me. He slid his hand across my waist before asking, “What do you think?” 

I could faintly make out a hint of his flirty grin in the moonlight. 

“Sneaky, sneaky. I think Lauren was on to you.” 

“She definitely was. She’s already asked me about it, actually.” 

“And you said?” He laughed.

“She took my non-response as a response and let it go. You know how she is.” 

I laughed, “I do know. It’s impossible to keep anything from her.” 

He continued to smile as he pulled my hand up to his lips and kissed it gently. He held it there as he stared out into the darkness. 

“Lucia seems to really care about you. Is she family?” He knitted his brows together before responding. 

“She was my mom’s best friend. I stayed with her after…everything happened. I was with her for a long time because I didn’t want to be here. She didn’t live on the property then. Her and Mateo moved here after my dad passed to help run the place. Mateo had been working with my dad since the beginning, so he knew everything that needed to be done. I’ve never really had it in me to be involved with the day-to-day things.” 

He laid down on his arm facing me. Still holding my hand in his, near his chest. 

“Have you been to your mom’s grave at all?”

He seemed to stare off at nothing as he answered. 

“The only time I’ve been is when we buried my father… and even then…I pretended she wasn’t there. I haven’t been able to do it.”

“If you wanna go before we leave, I’ll go with you.” 

He didn’t answer, his thoughts had briefly led him somewhere else as he continued to stare without blinking.  

I turned on my side to face him, reaching with my other hand to rub at the side of his jaw. His eyes finally met mine.

“Thank you for being here for me,” he said quietly as tears pooled in his eyes. My eyes immediately filled up too. I pulled him toward me for a chaste kiss. I leaned my forehead against his. 

“You don’t have to thank me for that. I would do anything for you. I love you.” 

The tears finally slipped down his cheeks as we both realized it was the first time I had said those exact words aloud to him. He kissed me again as both of us smiled against each other's lips.

We were soon met with the sounds of dishes clinking as Lucia and Jose cleaned up on the patio. We took that as our cue to make our way back to the house. We wished them both goodnight before heading up to bed. 

Early the next morning, I woke to Dieter getting out of bed. He leaned down and kissed me before saying he would be back and to go back to sleep. I had just managed to doze off when the flash of light and a door closing pulled me out of sleep. I sat up, looking around the room. Dieter was gone.

I pulled the sheet around my naked body as I got out of bed. I walked over to the terrace doors and pulled the curtains back far enough to peek out. I could faintly make out Dieter’s form as he walked toward the wooded area, with freshly cut white roses in his hand. A sad smile formed on my face as I realized where he was going. I was proud of him and hoped he got what he needed out of the visit with his mother’s grave. I moved to lay down in the bed and instantly fell back to sleep. 

Sometime later, the room filled with light as Dieter opened the curtains. I felt him sit on the edge of the bed beside me. He gently pushed my hair back to wake me up. My eyes fluttered open to meet his gaze. I reached up to touch his face. His hand met mine as he held it against his cheek.

“You doing ok?” I asked him softly. He bit his bottom lip as he shook his head up and down. He seemed different, lighter maybe. I smiled up at him. 

“You ready to head back home?” he asked as he turned to kiss the palm of my hand. 

“Not particularly, but I guess we need to.” 

I drug myself out of bed and got dressed in some comfortable clothes for the long drive. We quickly packed up, then went out onto the terrace to have breakfast. As soon as we were finished, we started to load up the car. Lucia, Mateo, and Jose came out to see us off. Lucia gave Dieter a somewhat emotional goodbye. As she was hugging me, she asked that I make sure he comes back to see her soon.

Dieter seemed more relaxed and carefree on our drive back home. He happily chatted the entire way and sang along to random songs as he drove. He was clearly feeling much better after the trip. I silently hoped he would stay this way as I watched him from the passenger seat.

When we got closer to civilization, both of our phones began to go crazy as all the missed call alerts and text messages started to come in. His alerts were beyond ridiculous. He ended up turning the sound off as he quietly cursed at it. Most of my messages were work related. I quickly sent a few responses to let them know I would handle things when I got back in the office. They all knew I was unavailable, yet here we were. They were a needy bunch.                       

We spent that evening relaxing after the long drive. The following day was spent unpacking and catching up on everything we had missed. We had to prepare ourselves to enter back into the real world. I needed to go into the office for several meetings the following day and Dieter had several meetings he had to attend in order to prepare for his upcoming travel and filming. Neither of us were looking forward to it. 

When Wednesday finally rolled around, I was struggling to get back into my morning routine. It didn’t help that Dieter was there and decided to join me in the shower, further slowing the process down. 

Late Tuesday night, I had found out that we were getting a surprise visit from one of our important clients, so I was a little flustered and felt unprepared. I probably should have gotten my clothes ready the night before because everything was wrinkled. I finally settled on a black tailored three-piece suit. The pants had a straight leg fit and stopped at my ankles. The matching top was more like a bustier. It was on the sexy side, but I said ‘fuck it’ and went with it anyway. I figured I would be fine if I kept the blazer buttoned up. I added some black heels to complete the look. 

As I was quickly putting my hair up into a loose updo, Dieter came into the bathroom. He was momentarily distracted by the bustier top I had on without the blazer. 

“Damn, can I come to work with you?” he said as he slid his hands around the sliver of bare skin at my waist and kissed up the back of my neck. 

“You’re going to make me late if you keep it up,” I replied as I stuck the final pin in my hair to hold it in place.   

He huffed, “Who needs work anyway?”

I narrowed my eyes on him in the mirror. He laughed as he grabbed his toothbrush and wandered off into the bedroom. I shrugged my blazer on then rushed around to gather up my laptop and everything else I needed for the day. I stood at the kitchen table digging through my bag, feeling like I was forgetting something. Dieter walked over and handed me coffee in a travel mug and the charging cord for my laptop. I laughed before pulling him in for a lingering kiss. We both inhaled deeply as I pulled away. 

“You want me to drop you off at work? I’m heading in that direction. It’ll save you from looking for a parking spot.” 

“You picking me up too?” 

“No, I’m gonna leave your ass there,” he shot back with a sarcastic tone.

I tilted my head to the side and gave him an annoyed look as he started laughing.

“Alright, you ass, let’s go.” I gave him a playful slap on the chest as I turned to grab my bag off the table.    

Dieter got me to the office in record time. He pulled up out front of the building and gave me a quick kiss before I exited the vehicle. He handed me my forgotten coffee mug just as I was about to shut the door. I was a flustered mess as I walked in the front entrance to Kerrie, Aubrey, and Elizabeth staring at me. 

“Do you have a chauffeur now?” Kerrie asked with a smirk. 

“What? No. I was running late and…never mind. It doesn’t matter.” 

“Was that your friend from New York?” Aubrey asked with a smile forming on her face.

“Yes. It was.” My response was clipped as I eyed the three of them. Realizing where this was going. 

“So, what did you do while you were off?” Elizabeth asked a little too nonchalantly. 

“No. I’m not doing this. Don’t we have clients coming soon?” They all three continued to stare at me, with sly grins on their faces. 

“Stop it. I’m not telling you anything.” I gave them a serious look and squared my shoulders. I walked toward my office without another word. I heard the three of them start laughing as Kerrie yelled, “We’ll get it out of you eventually!”  

My morning continued to frustrate me. My neediest employee, Steve, appeared in my office thirty minutes before our clients were scheduled to arrive. He was having one issue after another. The guy was wearing me out. I couldn’t figure if trouble sought him out or if it was from his own making. I got him squared away just as I saw Kerrie leading our clients toward the conference room. I wasn’t sure if I was mentally prepared to deal with them. I knew what they were about to try to do, because it wasn’t the first time they had done this. 

Aubrey and I met just outside my office door. She told me to take the lead on it. She personally knew one of the clients and did not want to be the bad guy if she didn’t have to be. Figures.  

After forty-five minutes of contract negotiation discussions, I was ready to snap. They were not letting it go. I sat unblinking with an emotionless expression on my face as I listened to Mr. Brad Northrup lecture me about our prices. I finally sighed loudly, which got his attention, causing him to stop mid-sentence. 

“Is there a problem, Natalia?” Brad said with an irritated tone. 

Aubrey knew what was coming. I could see her grimace before I opened my mouth. 

“Actually, yes, there is. This is the third time we’ve had this conversation. I let it slide the first two times and gave in because of your friendship with Aubrey, but I’m not doing it again. Clearly, you’re having some financial issues, or else you wouldn’t keep asking for this. We have costs that we have to cover too, which you don’t know the first thing about. So, lecturing me about how much we charge is not going to get the response that you want from me, Brad.”  

The atmosphere in the room shifted. His team was no longer throwing figures and justifications at us. They sat in silence with wide eyes. 

“Look, I’ll give you two options. We can look at cutting costs which would include cutting some of the services that we currently offer to you. You’re not keeping the contract you currently have at a cheaper price. Or we can cancel your contract and you’re more than welcome to find a new firm to work with that meets your price point.” 

I sat back in my seat and tossed my pen on the table. I was done. Brad looked at Aubrey, “You’re really going to let that stand?”

“She's the lead on the account. I support whatever decision she comes to.” 

Brad looked like he was about to blow a gasket as he gathered his things to leave. He said they would talk to their partners and get back to us. I watched his team file out the door, noticing Dieter standing in the reception area with Kerrie. They both had amused expressions on their faces. The door was open, so I’m sure they heard my outburst. 

I walked out to meet him and asked why he was here so early. 

“Well, I was bored so I figured I’d come watch you hand that guy his own ass on a platter,” he said with a chuckle. He put one hand on my hip and leaned in to kiss me on the cheek. His actions immediately got the attention of everyone in the office. 

“Oh, you heard that, huh?” I said through a laugh. 

“I did, and you know I loved every minute of it.” 

He gave me a flirty look and I returned it with a smirk before biting my bottom lip. I was well aware of how much he liked it when I “laid the law down”. I was also suddenly very aware of all the eyes on us. My coworkers were so fucking nosey. 

I cleared my throat, “Seriously, what’s up. Everything ok?”

“Yeah, I realized you didn’t bring lunch with you this morning and you don’t have your car. So, I brought you food.” 

He held up the small bag in his other hand that I hadn't noticed.

“Oh, I hadn’t even thought about lunch. Thank you.” 

I suddenly felt very self-conscious. 

“Let’s go eat in my office. Alone.” I emphasized the last word as I looked around so that the onlookers could hear it. They all diverted their eyes and pretended they weren’t listening. 

I closed the door behind us while he went to sit at the small table at the far end of my office. We spent a few minutes talking about our day. He seemed to be in good spirits and excited about filming, which was surprising. After a few minutes of silence, he changed the subject. 

“Do we have any plans tonight?”

“Not that I’m aware of, why?”

“Well, a good portion of the missed calls and messages that I had were from Anna. I forgot, today is her birthday. Everyone’s getting together at some fancy restaurant to celebrate. She wants us to come.” 

“Oh. What time?”

“Pretty much right after you get off work.” 

“If you want to go, I’ll go.” 

“You’re sure? I know you’ve had a long day.”

“Yeah, let’s do it.”

Honestly, I wasn’t excited about it at all. I knew he wanted to try and keep his friendship with her. So, I was going to roll with it and try to have a good time. 

After we finished eating, I gathered our trash and walked over next to my desk to throw it away. When I turned, Dieter was there. I leaned against the edge of my desk as he unbuttoned my blazer. He moved in closer, straddling my legs and running his hands around my waist under my blazer to pull me in for a kiss. His hands were rubbing small circles on the bare skin of my lower back as I felt his tongue slip into my mouth. I knotted my hands into the front of his shirt and deepened the kiss. I could feel him getting hard against me. I had just pulled away when Kerrie came through the door. She froze, unsure of how to respond to what she had walked in on. I had a smirk on my face as I raised my eyebrows at her. Neither Dieter nor I had moved from our embrace. I imagined he probably wasn’t in any state to turn around at the moment.

“Umm, your ugh, one o’clock is here.” Kerrie said, struggling to hide the smile she was fighting. 

“I’ll be out in a minute.” 

She nodded as she turned and shut the door behind her. I looked at Dieter, who had an embarrassed smile on his face. 

“I’m gonna hear about that later.” 

“Yep. My fault, sorry.” 

I walked him out to the lobby. He gave Aubrey and Kerrie a tight smile and small wave, with a slightly red face on his way out. They both gave me toothy grins after he was out the door. I responded with the middle finger as I walked around the corner to the waiting area to greet my next set of clients.  

The afternoon passed quickly. I spent part of it dodging questions and insinuations every time I was around Kerrie or Aubrey. They were relentless, but it was all in good fun. Before I knew it, it was time for Dieter to pick me up. I had him pull up out front to get me so he could avoid any further interactions with nosey coworkers. 

When we got to the restaurant, it was clear paparazzi were out everywhere. It was one of those places you went to be seen.

“Sorry, I’ve never been to this place. I didn’t know they would be here.” 

I inhaled deeply. Shaking my head as I tried to keep calm. 

“No biggie, it was bound to happen eventually. Right?” I gave him a worried look. 

“We can walk in separately if you want? They won’t bother if I’m not with you.”   

“No, it’s fine. Really. Maybe just no hand holding or anything. Don’t want to create a frenzy.”

He agreed, as he turned to pull up front to the valet parking area. As soon as he exited the vehicle, they were on him. I managed to get out and walk ahead without them noticing. They were too focused on shouting questions at Dieter. I waited for him on the steps. He eventually made his way over to me. He put his hand on my lower back as we started to walk through the door, which led to a flurry of flashes. 

“Geez, that’s insanity,” I said with an exasperated laugh once we were just inside the door. 

“I know, I’m sorry.” 

“Stop apologizing, It’s fine. I know what I’m getting into.”

I grabbed his hand as we made our way through the restaurant to find Anna’s table. It was one of those trendy type restaurants with dim lighting and high-end furnishings. I couldn’t say I was surprised she would want to come to a place like this.

We found her table in one of the back corners. There had to be at least fifteen people there already and she was seated in the middle of them. She called over to say she had saved us seats, right in front of her. Dieter greeted everyone and introduced me to anyone I hadn’t met yet. As I sat in the chair, I could feel Anna’s eyes looking me over.

“Geez Talia, I didn’t realize I was attending a board meeting.”

It took Dieter and I both a minute to register what she meant. She was referring to the suit that I was wearing. Dieter narrowed his eyes as he opened his mouth to speak. I grabbed his hand to stop him, before reaching to unbutton and remove my blazer. He glanced over and instantly knew what was coming based on my overly calm demeanor. He had a smirk on his face before a word left my mouth.

“I’m sorry Anna, but homeless bag-lady chic isn’t really appropriate for a professional office setting. Seeing as I came directly here from work, I guess you’ll just have to deal with my business attire. I’m sorry it doesn’t meet your dress code.”  

Anna briefly sat with her mouth agape before her eyes dropped down to the bustier, I had just uncovered. Her eyes widened with shock at my response. 

I gave her a sarcastic smile as Dieter burst out laughing. He didn’t even try to hold it back like the others sitting around us did. It was a great start to our evening. Anna finally recovered and laughed it off, but she was clearly seething over it. She wasn’t used to someone biting back at her snide remarks. 

The waiter came over soon after that to get our food and drink orders, which helped diffuse the tension. Anna avoided talking to us for some time. We were nearly done with our appetizer when she finally turned her attention back to Dieter.

“I literally tried for days to get hold of you about tonight. Where were you that didn’t have a cell signal?”

He had a guarded look on his face as he took a long drink of water from his glass. As he set it down, he put his free arm around my shoulders and pulled me in closer to his side. I could feel him tense before he spoke.

“Talia and I went to Sonoma for a few days.” 

She gave a sarcastic laugh as she drew her brows down together in confusion. 

“Like, to your parents' place?”  

He exhaled before narrowing his eyes at her, “Yeah, like to my parent’s place.” 

She laughed harder as she looked over at me.

“Did he tell you his big secret, Talia?” Her voice was dripping with sarcasm.

“I told her everything,” Dieter replied, giving her a pointed look. He continued to calmly sip at his drink while we watched her anger bubble to the surface.

“So, you trust HER with that information over your best friend?” 

Dieter smiled as he set his glass down. He squeezed his hand into a fist as it rested on the table, then started repeatedly rubbing his fingertips down his palm. I could feel his leg bouncing beside mine under the table. I reached down and put my hand on his thigh to calm him.  

“Yes, I trust her with everything.” 

“So, what, are you two like together now? Is that it? You think she’s gonna save you from yourself?”   

Dieter’s eyes blackened as his face tensed. I sat up straighter in my seat causing Dieter to tighten his hold on my shoulder. He thought I was about to snap on her.  

“Honestly Anna, it’s none of your business what I think at this point. I’m finally happy. You should just accept that.”

“You really think this is gonna work out between you two? She’s not like us. She’s gonna get sick of your moody shit once she gets to know the real you. You know that right?” 

Dieter leaned forward, loudly slamming his fist down on the table. All eyes were on us now. A smile slid across Anna’s face as she casually leaned back in her seat. She stared at Dieter, unblinking. 

“There’s my angry boy,” she purred.

Her eyes shifted to look at me, “See Talia, he has a bit of a temper. You think you can handle that?”

“Fuck you, Anna. You don’t know me anymore,” Dieter shot back at her, rather loudly as he stood up. The sound of his chair scratching across the floor echoed in the now silent room.

I stood up beside him and tightly grabbed onto his arm. 

“Let’s go,” I said as I pushed him away from the table. He jerked his arm away from me, then leaned down over the table toward Anna. 

“I’m done with this,” he said as he pointed his finger between them. “I’m done with all of this,” he added, motioning to everyone else at the table. 

I chanced a glance around the room. People were starting to pull out their phones. I let out a quiet “fuck” as I roughly reached for his arm again and made him look at me. 

“Let’s go home. Now,” I said sternly.

He slowly shook his head up and down as we stared at each other, wide eyed. He turned to walk away, kicking the chair out of his way as he went.

I turned back to Anna, who was still smiling like the Cheshire cat while she watched him walk away. She glanced over at me, and her smile faded. I was beyond livid, so I knew she was getting a full dose of the “fucking scary” version of me in that moment. 

“You’re a selfish and pathetic bitch. You know that? Eventually, you’re gonna end up alone. You deserve to end up alone.”  

I could tell those words struck a nerve by the way she flinched away from them. I grabbed our things and turned to leave without another word. I walked over to where Dieter was waiting in the alcove near the bathrooms. 

He was leaning back against the wall with his hands rubbing at his face when I approached him. I grabbed his hands to pull them away, dropping them at his sides. His eyes were still black as they darted around looking at everything and nothing. He started clenching and unclenching his right hand. Occasionally stopping to run his thumb over his fingertips. He seemed like he was trying to control his breathing.

“Can you talk to me, please?”

He was slowly shaking his head from side to side as he closed his eyes.  I was having a hard time getting him to focus. I had never seen him like this before and wasn’t sure what to do. I reached up and grabbed the hair at the nape of his neck, somewhat tightly, forcing him to stop moving his head. His eyes popped open widely as he finally looked at me. 

“Don’t let her get to you. She’s not worth it.” 

I leaned my forehead against his as I felt his hands settle on my hips. 

“I can’t believe she said that to you. I’m sorry you had to hear that.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry about. I don’t give a damn about anything she has to say. She’s just trying to pull you back into her mess.”  

He pulled me in for a tight hug, burying his face into my neck. He took several deep breaths before he pulled away. He rested one of his hands on the back of my neck as he stared at me. His eyes looked better now. They were back to their normal chocolate brown color. 

“How about you take me home and get me out of this damn bustier?” 

That had the intended effect. He gave me a small smile and chuckled before pulling me in for a chaste kiss. We were both smiling as we turned to walk toward the exit. I took a brief glance in Anna’s direction. She had been watching us from the table. It gave me some pleasure knowing she had seen that whole exchange between Dieter and me. He was now smiling and that wasn’t the outcome she wanted.  

When we exited the restaurant, we were met with a flurry of flashes and shouted questions. We kept our distance as we walked toward the waiting car and got in. Dieter drove around for a little while and took the long way back to my house to make sure no one followed us. Luckily that didn’t seem to be the case. 

By the time we got home, he and I were both exhausted by the day's events. We peeled the clothes off each other and crawled into bed, wrapping up in each other's embrace under the blankets. We briefly spent some time exploring each other's bodies in silence. Happy to be in each other’s presence and feel the warmth and electricity that resulted from our loving caresses. I snuggled into his chest as he ran his fingers through my loose curls. His soft touches caused me to drift off to sleep. 

At some point in the middle of the night, I felt Dieter get up out of bed. I turned toward his dark figure as he was putting on a pair of shorts. 

“Is something wrong?”

“No mi estrella, I just can’t fall asleep. I’m gonna go in here so I don’t keep you awake. I’ll be back once my mind slows down.”

“Are you having the dreams again?”

“No, it’s not that. I’m just wide awake.”

He leaned down and kissed me on the forehead before leaving the room. I looked up at the clock. It was 4am. This was different, but he had said that he sometimes has episodes of insomnia. I wasn’t sure if it was cause for concern or not. Especially after the exchange he and Anna had earlier. Hopefully he wasn’t bothered by what she had said, because she didn’t know what she was talking about. 

I finally fell back to sleep at some point. I was awakened by my alarm a few hours later. Dieter still wasn’t in bed, but I could smell the coffee brewing in the kitchen. I had a staff meeting and a few conference calls that I needed to go into the office to deal with, so I got up to get ready. I kept things more casual today, opting for dark wash skinny jeans, a light purple silky top, and a blazer. It was definitely a flats day too. My feet were killing me after wearing heels the day before. I left my hair down with loose curls and went light on the makeup. 

Once I was ready, I walked toward the kitchen in search of Dieter. He had made breakfast and was just finishing up making me a plate as I walked around the corner. He seemed very wired for someone who didn’t get much sleep. 

“Wow. I wasn’t expecting to wake up to this.” I gave him a surprised laugh. 

“Well, I had to do something to occupy my time. I got tired of looking over scripts.”

He shrugged as he handed me a plate of food. I gave him a concerned look.

“Are you sure you’re ok? Last night was kind of a lot.”

“Yeah, that isn’t even on my mind. I’m over it. I just got to thinking about work and couldn’t fall asleep. I always do this before filming starts. I start obsessing and over preparing. I’m fine. I promise.”

He leaned in and gave me a quick kiss before shooing me toward the table to eat. 

“Do you have anything going on today?” I asked him in between bites. 

“I have a few calls, that’s about it.”

“I’ll probably be back around lunch time. We have a staff meeting and I have a few calls, then I’ll leave. I’ll work from home the rest of the afternoon.”

He bobbed his head up and down, “Cool, I’ll go grab us some lunch then.”

I gave him a smile, then quickly finished up so I could get going. As I was heading out the door, his phone started to go crazy with text messages, then rang. He rolled his eyes and gave me a quick kiss before going to answer it.

When I walked into the back employee entrance at the office, I could feel eyes on me. I sighed as I neared the reception area to see Aubrey and Kerrie both looking at their phones. They looked up at me with surprised expressions on their faces.  

I paused, giving them a confused look. 

“What?”

Their eyes shifted to each other, then back to me.

“What? Is something wrong?”

Aubrey was hesitant, but finally spoke up, “Have you not seen the gossip columns today?”

I suddenly had a sinking feeling in my stomach. I inhaled deeply and closed my eyes as I slowly exhaled. “Fuck. What is it? Let me see.”

Aubrey handed me her phone. TMZ had posted a ridiculously long article about forty-five minutes ago. It was about last night. There were pictures and video of Dieter and I leaving the restaurant. There were also grainy videos of our confrontation with Anna and of me trying to calm him down. The voices on the audio were too low to make out anything that had been said. The article made every effort to sensationalize the whole evening with little facts about what happened. They also referred to me as an unidentified female friend. Luckily my face was either covered with my hand or not very clear in all the images and video. I rolled my eyes and handed Aubrey her phone. 

“Care to share what that’s all about?” Aubrey asked. 

“Yes, I do care. It’s not as bad as they’re making it out to be. It’s not a big deal.” 

Kerrie gave me a sympathetic look as she spoke, “I’m sure the picture he posted on Instagram early this morning isn’t going to help the situation.”

“The what?” I didn’t know what she was talking about. Her eyes widened. 

“You didn’t know about that?” 

I shook my head as I pulled out my phone to look. Sure enough, he had posted a picture of us earlier this morning. I didn’t even know he had taken it. It was a picture of us laying down, his face pressed against my forehead with his fingers in my hair as I lay sleeping. It was cropped in a way that you couldn’t fully see my face. It was blurred slightly with a black and white filter and had text across the middle that said, “Just us.”       

It already had so many likes and comments. I couldn’t bring myself to look at the comments. I raised my head to look at Aubrey and Kerrie. I could feel the panic rising in my chest. 

“Well, I guess the cat is officially out of the bag.”

A/N: So, did anyone call it that both Dieter and Talia were going to let Anna have it? That was kind of satisfying, right? Look at Lauren picking up on things and not saying anything to Talia about it. Makes you wonder what else her and Dieter talk about when Talia isn't around...

How do you guys feel about the Instagram post? Good move? Bad move? How do we feel about Dieter's behavior? Do you feel like it's pretty on par with how he has been since the beginning?

The chapter song is below and just in case you missed the teaser, the Chapter 19 mood board is too.

Next Chapeter

Tag List: @rhoorl @bitchwitch1981 @readingiskeepingmegoing @runningmom94 @for-a-longlongtime @hisandsnakes @chaoticfestninja @survivingandenduring @partyofone3413 @cakipy-blog @pedrostories @titlee78 @poodlebae

Let me know in the comments below if you would like to be added to the tag list.

[neteyamkink]

I read your Wattpad Series and I’m loving it so far and I was going crazy over chapter 8😫

Anyways this is my first time requesting something so I have no idea how this works or what to say😭but I’m wondering if you can make a nsfw alphabet of neteyam?

THANK YOU SO MUCH I LOVE FEEDBACK!! and ofc i can do that for you <3 ALSO HELLO?? MY FIRST REQUEST IM SO EXCITED

i’m writing this half asleep at 3am and not proofreading plz ignore any mistakes LMFAO

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

neteyam would make sure you’re all cleaned up and everything before he lets you fall asleep. But after all of that, he’ll hold you and brush the hair out of your face and give you sweet kisses until you are asleep. <3

also lots of praise!! “You did so good for me”

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

like I’ve said NETEYAM IS A BOOB MAN!! he will focus on your boobs almost the whole time. licking sucking touching literally anything. he loves em and he holds them any chance he gets even out of a sexual context.

I think his favorite body part of his are his hands! He loves the way he can make you feel just with a finger or two. <3

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically…)

he would only cum after you have and he definitely lovessss to cum on your boobs

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

when you aren’t there to satisfy him best believe he’s thinking of you. He probably can’t even count the number of times he’s been in his bed and night trying to fall asleep and one thought leads to another and suddenly he’s stroking his cock thinking about you and your pretty little lips (both of em)

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

he has absolutely 0 experience so you guys kind of just figure out things together. however, he does somewhat know what he’s doing from overhearing the human scientist talk about sex.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying.)

ima have to go with good ol missionary or just you riding him. he HAS to see your face. he just can’t go without it. he thinks the expressions that you make are so cute.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

it’s definitely a mix it depends on what the mood is tbh. If something funny happens he’ll laugh it out with you and he loves talking to you during sex. but if he’s “punishing” you or just going rougher than usual he’s more serious.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

correct me if I’m wrong I don’t think na’vi even grow body hair??? like they don’t even have armpit hair or like beards or mustaches so I’m going to say he has none

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

OH MY GODDD HE IS SUCH A LOVER BOY. like literally he will call it “making love” instead of sex or fucking. he is so in love so almost every time you guys have sex it’s so personal and so affectionate. he’ll whisper sweet things to you and kiss you as much as he can.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

like I said this boy is always horny for you so he will jack off just to the thought of you wayyy too much. he’s just so obsessed <3

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

ngl I feel like he is somewhat vanilla?? idk maybe my mind will change. but he definitely has a praise kink, he loves when you praise him and he loves praising you.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

usually in private places unless he’s in a lil silly goofy mood. even though it’s kind of boring he loves fucking you in your bed nothing can top it. The second best is definitely the beach for him <33

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

moans moans moans!!! he lovessssss hearing you moan like it turns him on so much it’s insane. He loves when you praise him and he definitely has a thing for seeing a lil bit of tears just because you’re so fucked out and happy you can’t control your emotions.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

he would never hit you. even if you asked for it he just couldn’t bring himself to hurt you. he’s so sweet <3

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

he is insanely good at giving head. he loves giving more than reviving for sureee. he loves to hear you moan and watch you squirm it’s a hugeeee turn-on. He likes receiving too just a little less, he’ll never turn down head though. he loves the way your lips wrap around his cock, and the look you give him through your eyelashes as tears start to fill your water line. ugh he's in love

P = Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

this one really depends on the mood but I’d say he’s a very passionate guy and loves to take his time and explore every inch of your body and savour every single second of pleasure

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

I think he would rather have proper sex so he can really take his time with you. HOWEVER!! if he is super needy and you guys are in a rush he will definitely do a lil quickie with you.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

if you ask him to do something he will gladly do it he is always welcome to try new things with you and will never make you uncomfortable by asking to try anything. When it comes to risky sex like people seeing you I don’t think he would like it a whole lot just because he doesn’t think anyone should see you in that sort of state but him and he just wants you all to himself <33

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

he will go for however long you want to. even if he is all fucked out but you still want to keep going he’ll sit back and let you ride him. He will never stop before you cum though like literally he will make sure you finish before him.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

if we’re talking about a modern au he would use toys on you if you wanted to. probably just a vibrator or something of that nature.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

he lovessss teasing. he will egg you on alllllll day just so when the time is right he can fuck you dumb with all of that tension built up.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

I feel like he’d be kind of embarrassed to moan at first, but when you tell him it’s okay and to let it out he’d completely let loose. he wouldn’t be very loud but he would definitely groan/moan in your ear and whisper a lot of sweet stuff to you <3

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

he lovessss talking to you during sex. like he will talk you through your whole climax. HE LOVES IT. and sometimes if you’re human he’ll throw in a little na’vi, and if you are a na’vi he’ll throw in a little English.

 X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants)

It’s definitely pale blue and I think his tip is a little bit darker. I’ll give him at LEAST 10 inches maybe 12 if I’m pushing it. The girth is pretty regular not too skinny or too thick. he fits in you perfectly <3

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

I’d say it’s pretty high. he fucks you any chance he gets, and is always needy for you.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

As I said, he would wait for you to fall asleep before he does so it really just depends on how long it takes you to fall asleep. If you don’t fall asleep he’ll ask you if you’re okay with him sleeping. Of course, you say yes every time but he doesn’t want you to feel alone <3

[bullet-prooflove]

Torn!Apart Series Part Two: Pause - Jubal Valentine x Reader

Tagging: @trublu2u @greenies-green @darqchilddaydreamz @crazy4chickennuggets @kmc1989 @oureternalbond @proceduralpassion @burningpeachpuppy @evee87 @delightfulheroshoeflap @iworldlywriter @helsinkibaby @penguin876 @justamadgirlinabox @a-noni-love @brownskinbaby22

Something’s wrong. You can feel it the instant you step over the threshold into your apartment. There’s a tension in the air, one that you can’t place. There’s light coming from the kitchen, a dim glow from the lamp beside the table.

Jubal sits in his usual chair, his black holdall resting on the floor alongside him. His fingertips trail over the pattern on the tablecloth, his gaze lingering on the plush green terrarium situated in the centre.

You’d bought the same one for Tyler last year on his birthday, his son had spent weeks documenting it’s growth like it was part of a science project. It had taken his mind off the worst days, the days when he was too sick to do anything but sleep. Jubal remembers the thoughtfulness of it, the time that Tyler had taken to explain to him how it worked. He had listened diligently as his son pointed out each of the plants inside, discussing their tiny eco systems with enthusiasm.

It’s a stark reminder of how you fit into his world, how the two of you belong together.

“Jubal.” You say softly and he hates the sound of his name on your lips because he’s about to do something terrible to you, something that’s going to break your heart.

Your palm comes to rest on his shoulder, your thumb trailing lightly over his collarbone. There’s intimacy in the gesture, a connectiveness. It wrenches something in his chest because this is the last thing, he wants from you right now. He doesn’t deserve your empathy, you’re understanding.

“We need to take a beat; press pause for a little while.” He says finally.

You look at him like he’s from another planet, as if you can’t comprehend the words that are coming out of his mouth. For you this is completely out of the blue, the two of you had been talking about moving in together just last week and now…

“I don’t understand.” You tell him. “I thought…”

You trail off and he can see the cogs turning in your head as you try to make sense of the situation. Something’s changed over the past couple of days and the only thing you can think of…

“Is it Rina?” You ask him, your eyes starting to sting. “Do you still have feelings for her?”

Jubal wants to laugh, because the only emotions he has in regard to that woman are rage and resentment. He wants to go after her but right now she has him over a barrel and he won’t put you at risk. He’s going to figure out a way to fight this, he wishes he could tell you that. To you his silence speaks volumes, he can see the way it condemns him in your eyes.

“Get out.” You tell him, your voice breaking as you jab your finger towards the apartment door. “Get the fuck out.”

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