#headmaster phil

[creativemedianews]

Ibstock Junior School Faces Criticism Over Bullying and Injury Concerns

Ibstock Junior School Faces Criticism Over Bullying and Injury Concerns #bullyinginschools #communicationissues

[clownyboiclownyboi]

do u have any college/uni major headcanons for dsmp? Or like how they would act in college/uni?

(btw i love reading ur hcs they r soo fun)

(thank you!!)

@egg0tistic I’m not in college, nor do I plan to be (I’m going to a trade school) but imma try my best on this one!

Techno tries his damn hardest for the first two years as an English major, then he just drops out without telling anyone and finishes it all online

Quackity is at every party around, and hosts more than a few himself. Despite what everyone thinks though, he is in the top percentage of his lawyer course. The trick is that he just doesn’t get drunk as often as people think, he just acts like that during parties

Schlatt’s been here since the 1900s. No one questions it, because he can get you into any event for the right price (or liquor) and he carries

Tommy bullied the headmaster when he found out he, Tubbo, and Ranboo couldn’t room together because it’s only two people to a dorm. He did not succeed in trying to get into his friends’ room, but he quickly found out his dorm mate, Purpled, is actually pretty cool

Purpled doesn’t know why his annoying dorm mate keeps dragging him into his friends’ activities, but he’s more than happy to show off his skill at lock picking if it means a free slushie (and friends)

Phil has hidden the bench trio (and Purpled) in from campus security many times, even during a few of his lectures (he teaches coding btw)

Sam is the engineering instructor, he lets students create their own projects with the scrap pieces, even if they’re not taking the class

Skeppy is a tech theatre major while Bad majors in acting, their entire class calls them the modern Romeo and Juliet

Fundy and Jack are both in coding, they have the world’s most intense rivalry for Phil’s approval (neither of them are anywhere near the top percentage, and they continue to do things other than work towards the top percentage)

Nikki is an art and musics major, but she plays the harp and her instructor doesn’t know shit about the harp, so she really just gets to do whatever she wants during that time (she teaches herself in that time, obviously)

uhhhh idk how college works but I hope these were good!

[pseudophan]

TW for discussion of homophobia.

Hi, Nora! In the spirit of pride month I want to tell the story about how becoming a demon phannie has deprogrammed my bigotry when I was a teen.

I grew up with homophobia being the norm amongst the kids. In my country it was quite precise though, a bit different from what Dan described in BIG. We didn't use "gay" as a synonym for "bad". Boys wouldn't be called gay for crying or liking theater or just being well-behaved. Not in my school at least.

No, there was a clear-cut definition that gays were only the boys who liked boys. But if you fit that definition, if someone knew you fit that definition, then god help you. You would be constantly mocked, bullied and beat up at school. The headmaster would call your parents and tell them to fix their broken little pervert. Your parents reaction could fall anywhere from a stern talk and calling you a disgrace to a beating and sending you to a military type boarding school. Treating a teen this way was perceived as completely normal. Nowadays the kids have thankfully become way more accepting despite our governments best efforts. But now you can also add a visit to the police station to the pile.

Sapphics just didn't exist, as always. That's why when I told my friends "I genuinely think boobs are more attractive than dicks - they are more esthetically pleasing to look at" the only reaction I got was confused laughter and strange looks. No, I did not realize what that said about me back then. It was just foreshadowing.

I remember my parents occasionally saying that it's a sickness and shouldn't be allowed to be demonstrated in any way. Peppering it with the usual "they can do whatever they want behind closed doors". And if people got beat up on the streets for being gay...well they just brought that on themselves by flaunting their sexuality, didn't they?

I lived with that worldview until I was 15 or 16.

Then I started finding out that some famous people were gay. But it only got me to the point of "I like his art, so I won't stop consuming it, despite him being gay". In my mind if you were gay and wanted people to tolerate your existence, you had to be talented in order to justify it. And have the decency to not act gay in public. Yeah, I know, bare with me.

When I found Dan's channel in 2015 I instantly fell in love with his videos. Soon I also started watching Phil and then the gaming channel.

My gaydar was non-existent at the time and, ironically, I was conditioned into thinking that gay people just like to announce that they're gay to everyone. So, since Dan and Phil never did, I just took their word for it. For almost a year I just enjoyed watching their content without a second thought.

Then one day I saw the compilations. The radio show clips. The old videos. That was all it took really. My brain couldn't compute, couldn't connect the "sick perversion" I heard so much about to what I was seeing on my screen. It wasn't unnatural, or disgusting or deliberately demonstrative.  It was fucking beautiful. They simply couldn't help being extremely adorable.

Starting from that day the thought "keep it to yourselves" never occurred to me. I just wanted to be a fly on the wall.

I never dared to write fanfiction or make compilations or, god forbid, directly ask one of them in a qna. I was happy to just lurk and snort that yaoi cocaine in silence.

In hindsight, Dan and Phil were the reason I didn't instantly hate myself after having the first crush on a girl and realizing I was bi in 2018.

Later I got into breadtube and realized just how insane and baseless all those conservative talking points were. But DnP were the sole reason I left that eco-chamber in the first place.

So thank you to Dan and Phil and thank you to all fellow demons 💜

fujoshi-ism saves lives is the thing

no but isn't it odd the way things work out.. the fact that dan and phil were able to help you like that is amazing, and also it's very funny that they did it through the power of rpf

[kwebtv]

Gormenghast - BBC Two - January 17, 2000 - February 7, 2000 / PBS - June 27 - 28, 2001

Fantasy (4 episodes)

Running Time: 60 minutes

Stars:

Jonathan Rhys Meyers as Steerpike

Celia Imrie as Gertrude, Countess of Groan

Ian Richardson as Sepulchrave, Earl of Groan

Neve McIntosh as Lady Fuchsia Groan

Christopher Lee as Flay

Richard Griffiths as Swelter

Andrew N. Robertson as Titus, Earl of Groan (17 years)

Cameron Powrie as Titus, Earl of Groan (12 years)

John Sessions as Dr. Alfred Prunesquallor

Fiona Shaw as Irma Prunesquallor

June Brown as Nannie Slagg

Olga Sosnovska as Keda

Zoë Wanamaker as Lady Clarice Groan

Lynsey Baxter as Lady Cora Groan

Stephen Fry as Professor Bellgrove

Warren Mitchell as Barquentine

Windsor Davies as Rottcodd

Eric Sykes as Mollocks

Spike Milligan as Headmaster De'Ath

Gregor Fisher as The Fly

Mark Williams as Professor Perch

Martin Clunes as Professor Flower

Steve Pemberton as Professor Mule

Phil Cornwell as Professor Shred

James Dreyfus as Professor Fluke

Sean Hughes as Poet

[inkroseinc]

Work in progress shot from the demo's intro!

Featuring my dad, Phil Snyder, as Headmaster Clayborne!

[trunk-dexting]

I didn’t realize everyone was playing as Dan in BitLife 😂😂 I did a Phil run and added PJ, Anthony Padilla, and “Goldie Pig” for the whimsy

The highlights:

Phil became friends with Dan and PJ in elementary school—they argued a lot about who got to be Phil’s best friend

Phil got in trouble for pranking someone and was sent to the headmaster’s office. The headmaster was Anthony Padilla

Phil and Dan hooked up in their 20s multiple times (friends with benefits), but Dan refused to date because “he was too busy”

They got together at 26, Dan proposed, it was cute

They adopted a Welsh Corgi puppy who died at age 4 by drowning 😭

Dan was the manager at a travel company, and Phil became YouTube famous (as an old man)

Dan died in his 80s, which made Phil depressed until he died at 99

[comradeocean]

One Day 2024 Emma Morley headcanon I figured out from a throwaway line in a fic I'm working on but I'm not gonna include bc it's already too long and weird but I just need to put this out there in the world:

after Tilly's wedding they resume their friendship w extreme gusto - emails, many phone calls, back and forth SMSs all day (Dex is hugely relieved he's on a separate contract from Sylvie but chooses not to think about this too much)

Clearly full blown emotional affair level, and with Sylvie switched on to wedding planning mode and buried in logistics and catering and whatever, it's easy for Dex to coast, being supportive and going along with whatever The Fiancée wants while thinking about how he'd word the funny email to Em about this ridiculous wedding activity later that night etc

So it's not hard for Dex and Em to pretend everything is just like it was and revert to their early stage London friendship (where according to the book version they were completely obsessed w each other). Until the wedding. And the honeymoon.

When Dexter goes cold turkey no contact for the entire 3 weeks bc he realized at some point (maybe at the reception when he wanted to immediately go dance w Em? Or Sylvie has like a dress crisis 15 minutes before walking down the aisle and he's not really panicking but preoccupied over some ambivalent email Emma's agent sent her about a possible TV adaptation of her book and whether he should try to hook her up with some contact he has) that this was really fucked up! and he was being an awful shitty person to Sylvie! who he loves! and has gotten married and is having a kid with!!

Em, of course, has also been in full denial about this - he's just my best friend (Tilly: so what am I? chopped liver??), we're just catching up after not being in touch for so long. And she's able to lie to herself about this until he suddenly goes completely off grid during the honeymoon and she has a mini breakdown and realizes:

- she's fallen back in love w him - he's just being regular old charming rooting-for-her-all-the-way #1 cheerleader Dexter - she craves validation, he clearly still has bad impulse control so it's headed straight for a Headmaster Phil sordid affair situation - and she cannot have their friendship degenerate into that

so she has some crisis meetings with Tilly and decides to dial it the fuck back. only casual drop-in hangouts in public with other ppl around. phone calls preferably same. no texting. emails get a pass bc it's like work (it's OK she can still be in denial a little bit, as a treat)

and miracle of miracles! by some unspoken agreement he's also dialing it the fuck back. (Em bitterly tells herself it was the mind blowing honeymoon sex.) (intuition bitterly confirmed by Dex now regularly bringing Sylvie along to their dinner/lunch/coffee dates)

Emma is trying very hard to be a supportive innocuous 100% platonic not secretly pining best friend but it's fucking hard and she ends up cancelling a bunch of things at the last minute bc of migraines or swollen glands or whatever mysterious illness she makes up, because seeing them being lovey-dovey is so fucking painful she's literally constantly on the verge of tears. Eventually, faking it till she makes it works and she's able to ignore it better and it's on a way lower shimmer and everything is mostly fine again.

all this to say! Emma was on super high guard in Paris refusing to believe Dexter had any deeper feelings specifically for her, Emma, as a person, besides someone who is always there for him and low effort etc. So his sudden refusal to have dinner w her and Jean-Pierre is very confusing. She's trying to figure it out - Dex is extroverted, loves meeting ppl and bantering and showing her up, a little too much even, like a competition to prove who's more charismatic. And the swollen glands thing is clearly fake. So what is up?????

She's distracted, picking over it on the walk to the restaurant w Jean-Pierre until she suddenly considers the possibility he is pulling the same trick she did - he is so heartbroken seeing her w someone else it is causing sufficient anguish he can't even fake being friendly and social. Dexter! Mr TV Presenter social butterfly Dexter Mayhew! And so the penny droppeth 😋

[askauradonprep]

got any Olympus high hc ?

It's up in a mountain! Not on top of mount Olympus but pretty high.

They serve ambrosia salad as an option every day.

The kids are super awkward because they're all related in some way shape or form.

It hosts the Olympus family reunion every spring because it's got most of the kids there anyway.

Herkie visits here on his way home every break. I think he kinda misses everybody since he doesn't go.

Phil is the headmaster. I'm not taking alternatives.

Since it's the Disney Greek gods, the family's probably more well adjusted than in Greek mythology. Must be nice for the kids!

They learn things like wrestling and pankration in gym.

Hades and some of the others on the Isle are the relatives the family doesn't like to talk about.

Once they were off the Isle, Hadie and Uma got invited to come here, as a son of Hades and a (grand)daughter of Poseidon to finish their credits.

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Secret Relationship (7) Masterlist

Links Last Checked: June 26th, 2025

part one, part two, part three, part four, part five

Before Sunrise (ao3) - Emptylester (timelordangel)

Summary: Dan and Phil are finally home, but jet lag leaves them awake at four in the morning. They take these early morning hours to enjoy being home and enjoy being together.

Can't be too careful (ao3) - Shambelina

Summary: Dan and Phil struggle to get some alone time while on tour

Case Closed - doomedhowell

Summary: Dan is a successful lawyer who works hard and has a lot of money, and is also a youtuber. Phil’s also a youtuber and they’ve been dating each other secretly as Dan hasn’t come out yet. Things are about to change though when Dan works on a lgbtq+ rights case and uses Phil as a witness.

do you remember the time (ao3) - selinawrites

Summary: it's florida, 2015. the amazing tour is not on fire is about to open to american audiences, and dan sees a photobooth.

it's london, 2019. dan is just about to upload for the first time in over a year, and phil recognizes a photo.

"Don't fuck with him." (ao3) - Misha_with_wings

Summary: People have been hating on Phil and shoving him around more than ever before and Dan was done with people hurting his best friend.

Give Me Some Of That Bass (ao3) - drxpdead

Summary: Playing music has always been a big part of Phil’s life. From the time he was five, and banging spoons against the table, to present day; seventeen years old and apart of the upcoming Alt. Rock/Everything-In-Between band, Heinous.

It’s an easy life to live, he’s sure. Making music with his best friends, trying to avoid failing high school the best he can, and getting his parents to stay off his back about ‘that God-awful noise’.

And there’s Dan Howell.

His sex-on-legs, hot tempered boyfriend, who miraculously shares his love of music. It’s like they’re meant to be.

You know, except they’re apart of different bands. Rival bands, to be exact, with every member hating the other, with a vengeance. They know damn well not to publicise their relationship, not with a certain competition coming up that could make or break them; the tension would be off the charts and would do nothing but cause unwanted drama.

But you can’t keep secrets forever. And with the stress of practice and their band members on their backs, it’s getting harder to keep it in the dark.

Glitterbomb (ao3) - alphapavlikovsky

Summary: Dan and Phil from the YouTube Creators Summit in Spain (Sept 2017). Dan is feeling a little left out while everyone is enjoying themselves until he suddenly gets into it.

The Garden (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Dans father, the King of Corevia, insists that dan needs to marry a princess. Dan, however, has someone else in mind.

The war(aka 'They hate each other,right?) (ao3) - Yellowbirdbluetoo

Summary: Everyone knew about the war. The students,the teachers and faculty. Even the headmaster of the school knew about it.

The war between Phil Lester and Dan Howell.

(Aka it was a war until it wasn't)

too high (can't come down) (ao3) - danfanciesphil (thejigsawtimess)

Summary: Suspending himself 7,000 feet above the rest of the world seems likely to be a sure-fire way for Dan to escape normality, and isolate himself for the foreseeable future. The Secret of the Alps, a small hotel tucked into the side of the Swiss mountains is too niche for most avid adventurers to have heard of, making it the perfect place for Dan to work as he sorts through his problems. Unfortunately, privacy is a coveted thing, and as Dan soon finds out, the hotel harbours one guest who values it more than most.

Under your sexy body (ao3) - Shambelina

Summary: Touring seems to take all their time away from one another, so Dan and Phil take some time alone in the back of the bus on route to the next destination.

Unintended (ao3) - storming_wolf

Summary: Dan Howell is a model ready to start a career in acting. Phil Lester is a director ready to show he's more than capable of creating a serious drama film. After an interview Dan does sparks a muse in Phil's script, Phil casts Dan to play leading man. However, they start to develop feelings for each other and try to push their relationship aside for the sake of the movie and Academy Award season, but how far can they push it before it falls apart?

You're together aren't you (ao3) - smol_whale

Summary: "You're together, aren't you?"

It's just a simple question, however, suddenly it becomes so much more.

[ao3feed-wandamaximoff]

Son of the Black Widow

by RadiantArabianNights28 Harry Potter is not the son of James and Lily Potter. He is the son of James Potter and Natasha Romanoff. He has been hidden from her and his godmother and Uncles for over a decade. Now they finally find him and there is nothing they won't do to protect him. From his abusive relatives and especially manipulative Headmasters… Soulmate Fic: —————————————— WARNING: Rape, Torture —————————————— Words: 2460, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English Series: Part 3 of Soulmark Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), X-Men - All Media Types, Fantastic Four (Movies 2005-2007), Inhumans (TV 2017), Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery (Video Game), Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con Categories: F/M, M/M, Multi Characters: Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Tony Stark, Nick Fury, Charles Xavier, Jean Grey, Scott Summers (All New X-Men), Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes, Bruce Banner, Clint Barton, Wanda Maximoff, Pietro Maximoff, Yelena Belova, James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Emma Frost, Logan | Wolverine (X-Men), Remy LeBeau, Ororo Munroe, Loki (Marvel), Thor (Marvel), Jane Foster (Marvel), Reed Richards, Susan Storm (Fantastic Four), Johnny Storm, Ben Grimm, Amelia Bones, Sirius Black, Albus Dumbledore, Pepper Potts, Carol Danvers, Maria Hill, Phil Coulson, Melinda May, Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks, Neville Longbottom, Hannah Abbott, Parvati Patil, Astoria Greengrass Relationships: Harry Potter/Fred Weasley/George Weasley, Tracey Davis/Daphne Greengrass/Harry Potter, Cedric Diggory/Viktor Krum/Harry Potter, Harry Potter/Susan Bones/Megan Jones/Kevin Entwhistle/Beatrice Haywood, Harry Potter/Rogue | Anna Marie (X-Men), Susan Bones/Gabrielle Delacour/Daphne Greengrass/Luna Lovegood/Padma Patil/Harry Potter, America Chavez/Harry Potter, Theodore Nott/Harry Potter/Blaise Zabini, Marcus Flint/Harry Potter/Adrian Pucey Additional Tags: Manipulative Albus Dumbledore, Molly Weasley Bashing, Ron Weasley Bashing, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Rape/Non-con Elements, Child Abuse, Post-Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Creature Inheritance, Ministry of Magic bashing, Order of the Phoenix Bashing (Harry Potter), Soulmarks via https://ift.tt/GEqlrmp

[mobcharacter255]

Obsessed, forever has yors brand of himbo energy but is associated with the government and is constantly getting sent on undercover missions for them, philza has Loids competence energy but is known as the angel of death and is distinctly anarchistic. Tallula being able to read minds fueling her empathetic and distrustful nature and her brother chyanne with the ability to see the future fueling his need to protect people. The eggs being a federation experiment that escaped and found their families. Phil having yors job and wants to get his kids a good schooling but needs to not be a single parent because the paranoia. Forever having recently been separated from his longtime partner is sulking and thus gets put on a long term “get married and get kids already” mission with the whole pretense of spy on the headmaster thing by his long suffering spy family. Tallula overhears forever taking this seriously and thinks this obviously harmless dumbass has the same goal as her papa. Unfortunately for her and chay after informing Phil they were unable to stop the meeting in time to avoid forever immediately latching on to his partner’s lookalike in typical forever fashion so they had to watch reluctantly charmed Phil being hit on by suddenly half naked forever.

Although if we’re going with the standard settings of spy x family then it could be a loid forever and a yor badboyhalo setting instead!

Honestly tho seeing big boobied bbh or dilf Phil in yors dress is everything

spy x family but make it sugarduo

[avidreader6]

Gotta Get Back to Hogwarts

It’s been a long time since I did Daily Phlint and I want to get back to it. When @twangcat started it, I really enjoyed it. 

And since I started the first time with a Hogwarts AU, how bout another one? This time with Headmaster Phil and Care of Magical Creatures Prof Clint. 

Watch for the ‘Read more’

Clint had just returned the last of the baby nifflers to their enclosure when heard the sounds of a throat being cleared behind him. Smiling to himself, he looked at the litter of nifflers and their mother. “Now, no more sneaking inside. Hill will have my head if you make off with the goblets she needs for class again.”

Shutting and locking the enclosure, Clint turns and pockets the key. The Headmaster continues to stand close, just watching.

“Something I can do for you, Headmaster?”

“Yes. A group of Slytherins have discovered a kneazle with a litter of kittens. I was hoping you could come and take a look and let them know if they’re okay.”

“Can do.” Clint takes a step closer, but keeps his hands to himself, not wanting to dirty the Headmaster’s pristine suit. “Want me to find some space for them out here, too?”

“If you wouldn’t mind? I don’t want the students distracted with exams coming.”

“Not a problem. I don’t have any more classes today so I can come up to the castle with you.” When the Headmaster doesn’t move, Clint takes another step closer, leaving almost no space between them. This close he can see just how blue the Headmaster’s eyes are. “Unless there’s something else, Headmaster?”

The Headmaster says nothing, just reaches out and hauls Clint close, taking his mouth in a fierce kiss. Clint melts into the kiss, hands finally moving and coming up to get ahold of Coulson, no longer caring about keeping his suit clean.

When Coulson pulls away, his lips are red and swollen and his eyes are locked with Clint’s. He’s trying to look serious, but the corners of his mouth are starting to curve up. “You’re a menace.”

“Couldn’t help myself. You’ve been stuck in meetings with the school governors and Fury all this week. Had to rile ya up somehow. Remind you what you’ve been missing.”

“And an ‘I miss you,’ just didn’t cut it?” Phil’s smiling now, eyes sparkling. He performs a wordless cleaning charm and his suit is back to being as pristine and wrinkle-free as it had been before.

“Nope.” Clint pops the ‘p’ extra hard and winks at Phil. “Are there really kneazle kittens or you looking for some afternoon delight?”

Twin spots of red appear on Phil’s cheeks. “There really are kittens. A couple of students told Natasha about them.”

Clint starts walking toward the castle, knowing Phil will follow. “What do you think she does to get her students to tell her so much? Is it just a Slytherin thing?”

It only takes a few steps for Phil to catch up and start walking abreast with Clint. “Not sure. She’s strict but fair and students respond to that.”

“But?”

Phil chuckles. “She was also a spy in the war. There are plenty of rumors flying around that you can’t keep secrets around Professor Romanoff because she will always find out.”

The laugh Clint lets out is loud and he has to stop a moment to catch his breath. “She of course says nothing to dispel these rumors, I’m guessing.”

“Correct.” They start walking again, both of them enjoying the last of the early spring warmth. “Her snakes are certainly more well behaved than Stark’s eagles.”

“They still pranking Rogers’s lions?”

“Yes, but less now. Since Steve proposed this Christmas, Tony has been encouraging inter-House cooperation.”

“Thank, Merlin. I was getting tired of taking points from students.”

They meet Natasha outside the entrance to the Slytherin dorms. She lets them in and shows them the closet the mother kneazle has taken residence in.

Clint opens the door and peeks inside. He hears Phil ask, “do you know how many kittens there are? I want to make sure none of the students have absconded with any.”

Grateful that Phil thought to ask, Clint kneels in the closet and holds out his hand to the mother. “Hey there, mama. Mind if I give you and the kids a quick check?”

The kneazle sniffs at Clint’s hand and when she doesn’t hiss, scratch, or try to bite, Clint takes that as the sign he’s good to get closer.

He shuffles closer to the kneazles and does a quick count. He’s stroking the mother’s stomach to make sure everything is as it should be when Phil’s voice filters into the closet. “There should be six kittens.”

Clint strokes six tiny fluffy heads and sees no obvious issues. “Yup, I’ve got six,” he spots something tiny near the back of the closet and reaches out. Pulling the extra kitten to his chest, he adds, “make that seven kittens. Got a runt here.”

He stands and holds the tiny blonde kitten close to his chest. Phil studies him, eyes wary. “Is it?”

“It’s alive.” He holds out the kitten. “Hold it for a second?”

Once Phil’s got it, Clint tugs off his scarf and wraps it around the pocket-sized kitten.

“Clint?” Phil’s voice is wary, as if he already knows what Clint is thinking.

“Come on, Phil, every Headmaster needs a mascot. You can name them, Cap and teach them to guard your office. Little love and care and they’ll be good as new.

When he sees Phil stroke the fluffy blonde head, he knows he’s won.

“What do I need?”

Clint leans over and kisses him on the cheek. “I’ve got everything in my case. I’ll take the mama and the little ones outside and bring what you need to your office.”

Natasha appears with a box and a blanket and helps Clint get everyone situated. “Take care of them.”

“Don’t worry, Nat. This is literally part of my job.” Natasha says nothing, just narrows her eyes at Clint. “They will get the best of care and whichever one you’ve decided is yours will come to you as soon as they’re old enough.”

Slender fingers stroke the mama’s head. “This one is mine. She can come back when she is ready.”

“Soon as the babies are weaned, she’s all yours.” WIth the way the mother kneazle is purring under Natasha’s attention, Clint knows that, no matter what, she would have found her way back into the castle.

He adds a lightening charm to the box and moves around Phil and Natasha to the entrance. “Coming with me, Phil, or want to wait for me in your office?”

Phil adjusts Clint’s scarf around the kitten and looks up at Clint. “I’ll come with you.”

Since there are no students around, Clint sneaks another kiss to Phil’s cheek. “Great! I can always use another set of hands.” He turns to Natasha, “remind the 5th years, unicorns are coming up, will you?”

“I will.” She looks over his shoulder at Phil. “Now go before the Headmaster decides his office needs him more.”

“Don’t worry,” Clint waggles his eyebrows. “Phil loves helping me out with all the creatures in my case. Reckon you won’t see us til dinner.”

[avacodork]

Tommyinnit in the place of yuu? Here we go.

-–—

The entrance ceremony was going well.. until Tommy had entered the room with Crowley. The feral child was being held by the back of his shirt as they screamed and cursed Crowley. Everyone was concerned.

"PUT ME DOWN YOU BIRD BRIANED BITCH!" The child screeched as he wiggled in the bird man's grasp. "I WILL DESTROY YOUR BLOOD LINE AND RAIN HELL FIRE UPON YOU!"

The headmaster dropped Tommy on the ground and crossed his arms. The feral child stood up and glared opening his mouth to, presumably, begin cussing the headmage out again. "Go up to the mirror and state your name." The headmaster ordered seeming exhausted. Grim stayed silent by Tommy having been given a small amount of affection and wanting more.

"HMF!" Tommy huffed and stomed over to the mirror. "Tommy Danger Kraken Innit! ...bitch."

"... I don't know which dorm you fit in. Perhaps you should be put in a separate dorm." The black mirror said, probably thinking Tommy is a danger to the other students.

-–—

Tommy: *Looking between the headmage and Ramshackle with a look of disgust.*

Crowley: Since I'm so gracious-!

Tommy: No. Shut the fuck up bitch.

Crowley: *Shocked.* What..?

Tommy: Do you actually expect me to love in this dump?

Crowley: Well your not even-

Tommy: Be Quiet.

Crowley: Eep!

Tommy: *Grown of frustration.* Dadza will be hearing about this. *Walks into Ramshackle*

Crowley: Who is "Dadza"?

-–—

Tommy: And this is Shroud!

Ace: ... Where did you find a spider that big???

Deuce: *Petting the spider.* He's soft..

Random Crow: C A W . (Translation= T O M . )

Tommy: *Looks at the crow and let's it land on his arm.* Yes?

Random Crow: Caw, caw. Caw Caw. (Translation= Dadza is worried. Dadza want you home.)

Tommy: Sorry, I am stuck here. But tell dadza that some bitch put me in a rundown, falling apart dorm, even though he was the one who brought me here.

Ace: *Whispering to deuce* Is he talking to a Crow???

Random Crow: *Nods his head and flies away.*

Deuce: *Whispering.* I think they were both talking.

-–—

Vil: ...

Tommy: What are you looking at bitch?

Vil: How are you caked in dirt if you haven't even been outside today.

Tommy: *Menacing smile.* Potted Plant.

Vil: *Shocked Pikachu face.*

-–—

Rook: *Being pinned to th ground.* Trickster! Wonderfully done, but how did you get me down?

Tommy: *Unimpressed.* I went into war when I was.. what 5.. 9? When I was young soo. Your easy dude.

-–—

Malleus: *Looking at Gargoyles.*

Tommy: Hey Horn Bitch!

Sebek: *Offended gasp.*

Malleus: *Turns and smiles.* Child of man.

Tommy: *Huffs.* I know you like these stupid gargoyles right?

Malleus: please do not refer to them as stupid, they have a purpos-

Tommy: Yeah, Yeah.. Here. *Hand him something*

Malleus: ... Is this...

Tommy: A grotesque? Yes.

Malleus: *Happy dragon fea noises.*

-–—

Lilia: There is no way your father is older than me.

Tommy: He is. Plus he married death so he has more game than you too.

Lilia: ...

‐–—

Riddle: OFF WITH YOUR-

Tommy: OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!

Riddle: *Very red.* You-

Tommy: *Runs away cackling.*

Riddle: *Runs after him.* GET BACK HERE!

Cater: Should we stop him?

Trey: He brought this on himself.

-–—

Tommy: *Dragging Idia out of his room.*

Idia: *Screaming bloody murder.*

Ortho: *Whatching this all go down with a smile.* My brother finally made friends!

-–—

Tommy: Hey bitch boy.

Jack: ... I give up..

Tommy: Oh no, don't be like that!

Jack: then stop calling me that.

Tommy: No.

Jack: Do you even know what that means?

Tommy: No, but it doesn't matter.

Jack: It means, "someone who likes to be fucked or dominated."

Tommy: ...

Jack: ...

Tommy: *Nervous laughture.*

Jack: *Inhale*

Bonus~

Phil: So.

Crowley: *Nevous sweating*

Tommy: *Fake crying and pointing at Crowley.* HE THREATENED ME! *Sobs.*

Phil: *Menacing aura.* Is that so..?

[midnight-raven]

Marvel Academy AU

Welcome to the Marvel Academy, where every student has the destiny for a bright future.

Teachers/Staff:

Headmaster/Principal: Nicholas J. Fury

Vice Principal: Marie Hill

Guidance Counselor: Phil Coulson

Steve Rogers: American History, Art Club

Tony Stark: Robotics Engineering, Geometry

Bruce Banner: Chemistry/Physics

Natasha Romanoff: Foreign Language, Dance Class

Clint Barton: Physical Education

Thor Odinson: Mythological History & Football Coach

Loki Laufeyson: Drama Arts/Literature

Bucky Barnes: Psychology

James Rhodes: Politics & US Government

Sam Wilson: Geographic, Debate Team

Peter Quill: Music History

Wanda Maximoff: Literature

Edwin ‘Vision’ Jarvis: Sociology

Scott Lang: Engineering, Quantum Science

Hope Van Dyne: Entrepreneurship, Business

Stephen Strange: Anatomy, Cognitive Science

T’Challa: Culture History & Ethics

Carol Danvers: Astronomy

[illmamnim]

Because Grian is building Diagon Alley, I've started to think about a Hermitcraft × Dream smp "Hogwarts" au, but it's not actually in the Harry Potter world, but on Hermitcraft.

"Hogwarts" is in Boatem and the crew are the head of each house, with Mumbo being the headmaster.

Because the hermits are all older, it would be fun to have aged down Dream smp members, just by a couple of years so it matched the school years and they age up with the story.

I don't actually have any sorting ideas tho wozbwks other then maybe Grian can he a Flying teacher or Care of Magical creatures? Maybe Phil could be a teacher of Defense Against the Dark Arts? I don't know...

I know I like the idea that Phil, Wilbur and Technoblade are all Slytherin but Tommy is Gryffindor so they mock him about it all the time.

I also like the idea that Mumbo, like Dumbledore, would often gets in on the students' adventures, but like "how's it going, fellow teens" and they just look at him.

I just want anything with Tubbo and Mumbo in all honesty. Let it be redstone, let it be goofs, let it be anything, they're just my favourites.

Also I don't know what house Grian would be in, but it would be SO funny if he was Gryffindor and he would wear the G at any point he can. And people would ask "Is that a G for Grian or Gryffindor?" And he would simply answer "yes."

Wilbur leaving school as Tommy enters it which he complains about a lot.

Maybe wilbur will try to apply to being a potions teacher?

Ranboo has some dark secret, or so rumors say. He doesn't show his face and you can barely see him after class.

I don't have any other ideas but yeah

[shitty-alternate-universes]

the shittiest thing about this AU is how much time I've spent thinking about it.

MCYT (lol mostly DSMP) "School for people with superpowers" AU. (I'm thinking vaguely along the lines of X-Men.) Let's call the school L'Manberg Academy, or LMA for short.

Jardon "Captain Sparklez" Maroon got his nickname because at first, all his powers could muster were a few sparkles. He eventually worked his way up to powerful energy beams, and went on to become a legendary hero, before retiring to be a teacher at LMA. He was the Headmaster of LMA 20-ish years ago, when Dream, Techno, George, Sapnap, Phil, and Karl were students there. He's mostly retired from that, too, but he's still more than happy to fill in for a teacher who has other engagements.

Dream Wastaken has the mutant ability to alter probability. He diligently practiced this ability, and by his last year of school, Techno was the only person who ever beat him at anything. Since his years at LMA, he has continued developing and refining his power, and eventually gained godlike power by manipulating probability at the quantum level. He is now LMA's headmaster, but for some reason his old friends George and Sapnap now want nothing to do with him. Is he up to something that only they know about?

George Notfound's power is invisibility. He, Dream, and Sapnap were inseparable when they were teenagers. He denies having dated Dream. Not much else is known about him.

Skeppy Ahmed is a mutant with diamond skin, which as a side effect means he ages slowly- he is around 70 years old, but has the body of a 20something, and (seemingly) the mind of a reckless, mischievous teenager. Decades ago, he summoned the demon BadBoyHalo, just for the fun of it.

BadBoyHalo is a power-hungry demon, but thankfully, he mainly seeks power in Hell, not Earth. The main reason he visits Earth at all is to visit his friend Skeppy and his son, Sapnap. It is not known why he hates curse words so much.

(way more bios under the keep-reading)

Sapnap Halo has the ability to drain lifeforce from living things into himself. His powers derive from his demonic heritage and not a mutant gene, but he went to LMA anyways, because where else would you send a kid with superpowers? During his school years he would often kill other kids' pets by draining their life force, though as he got older he grew to be more mature than that.

Karl Jacobs' mutant ability allows him to teleport, but he rarely uses it as it messes with his memory. He can also time travel, but he tries not to as it misses with his memory even more, and he has very little control over it. He keeps his time travelling a secret, even from his husbands, because his future self told him to. He is LMA's main history teacher.

Alexis Quackity is a normal human who lives with his husbands Sapnap and Karl. (Well, they call each other husbands, but none of them are legally married, since the law does not allow polygamy.)

Technoblade's mutation gave him pink skin and a pig-like face, as well as enhanced strength and a powerful healing factor which makes him essentially unkillable. When he was young, his parents were murdered by an anti-mutant hate group and he was forced to fight other mutants, some of them hardened adults, but no fighter stood a chance against the kid who was known only by the nickname he gave himself: Technoblade. When the fighting ring was busted, Philza's parents took Techno in, and he attended LMA. He was later expelled after violently killing his parents' murderers. After this, he became a fugitive, spending much of his time with Phil and Skeppy, the only two people he trusts.

Philza Minekraft's mutant ability gave him a set of wings. Despite having such a non-combat-centric power, he was (and still is) a very adept fighter. He was Techno's only friend in school, and they still would die for each other. He secretly wonders if he's a bad father to his sons Wilbur and Tommy, and his foster sons Fundy and Ranboo.

Wilbur S. Minekraft is an LMA student who can phase through solid objects. He's a straight-A student and a decent musician. He aspires to do great things with his life, although he is scared of what Fundy says he will become.

Fundy Minekraft, due to his mutation, looks like an anthropomorphic fox, but hates being called a furry. He claims to be Wilbur's son from the future. (Neither Karl nor Fundy nor anyone else knows whether Karl had anything to do with this.) Since he has no way of returning to his home time, he lives with his family and attends LMA. He says Wilbur was not just a bad father, but a terrorist and mass murderer, yet he doesn't seem to care enough to try and prevent Wil from becoming that person.

Tomothy I. Minekraft is the youngest kid in his household. He tested positive for the mutant gene, even on tests that essentially never produce false positives, but has not shown any sign of superpowers. He constantly tells other LMA students that his powers will kick in any day now and will be way better than everyone else's, but he's really just trying to reassure himself. He doesn't really have any friends outside of his family, and Tubbo.

Ranboo Live is an LMA student who can teleport. He also seems to have some level of reality manipulation powers, but so far the extent of these are unknown. His memories from before Phil took him in are hazy, leading some to suspect that teleportation negatively affects his memory, much like Karl. Other students seem convinced that Mr. Wastaken shows favoritism toward him, but they neither know nor care why.

Tubbo Underscore is Tommy's best friend, and has the ability to talk to animals. More so than most, he has a deep admiration for Captain Sparklez, and is always delighted when the Captain teaches at LMA.