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cheolhub · 1 year

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can i request taehyun nd spanking..ehehe...he has such nice hands nd he'd make u count each one out loud and hed praise and degrade u at the same time and and..

TAEHYUN + SPANKING

wc. 858

warnings. HARD (?) DOM!TYUN, heavy praise, slight degradation (use of slut), heavy sadism/masochism, spanking (duh), soft ending — MINORS DNI 18+

note. THANK U FOR REQUESTING THIS… the concept makes me dizzy i hope i did ok!! … um if it’s horrible just know i didn’t write it…

“if you’re not gonna count for me, doll, ‘m just gonna have to start over,” taehyun reprimands, hand soothing over your flushed ass. “don’t you wanna prove me wrong? show me how much of a good girl you are for me?”

you sniffle, nodding your head. “i-i do! ‘m your good girl!”

“then count like you’re supposed to.” he all but growls causing you to moan. “maybe… if you can get all the way to 10, i’ll give you a little reward, hmm? does that sound fair, baby?” his voice is patronizing and condescending and even though you can’t see him, you know there’s a mocking pout on his face.

but he knows you love it. he knows talking down to you makes you even wetter.

with taehyun, a reward can mean an array of things. it never truly feels like a full reward, maybe half of one. sometimes when he says that, it just means that he’ll put his fingers inside you, but refuses to let you cum. other times, he’ll let you have his pretty cock in your mouth, but your hands need to stay behind your back while he fucks your face. he thinks the best reward, though, is giving you his cock, but you’re the one who has to get yourself off– he won’t move, play with your clit, nothing.

he’s cruel and mean and a bit sadistic, but you love it and he knows you love it. it’s the reason why, like today, he’ll randomly decide to bend you over your lap and pull your bottoms off so he can spank you.

but even though taehyun’s actions are wicked and evil, his words are anything but– most of the time at least.

like now, when his big hand strikes your ass without warning and you jolt out a loud, “one! thank you!”

he coos, genuinity laced in his words, “good job, sweet girl.” he says before repeating his action, laying a hard hit on your ass again.

“t-two! thank you!” you stutter, fresh tears filling your eyes. you know if you shift over a bit more you’ll be able to have his hard cock pressing into your stomach– a feeling that somehow comforts you– but you also know if you do that, taehyun won’t touch you anymore, so you decide against it.

another. “fuck, three! th-thank you!” you swear. you can feel arousal soaking your panties, creating a small wet patch that you know taehyun can see.

another. “four! thank you!” and another. “five… th-thank you!” and by the time you’ve gotten your eighth (in realness, probably your 15th with the amount of times he’s started from scratch), you’re a sobbing mess under him, writhing and shaking and panting. above all, you’re so wet that you’re sure the small patch you started with has spread to create a much larger one.

“you are a good girl, aren’t you, baby? a good little pain slut for me?” he croons as if he couldn’t believe it, hands messaging the red hot flesh. when you sob again at his words and wiggle a bit in his grip, he just chuckles and takes it as a non-verbal agreement. “yeah, i know you are, baby. my cute lil pain slut.”

he surprises you with another smack, this one rougher and you nearly forget to count it as you choke on mewl. “n-nine! nine!” you breathe out. “thank you,”

he smirks wickedly before giving your final smack. he loves the mess you turn into when he’s done. “ten! thank you, thank you, thank you so much! taehyun, thank you!” you cry, tear streaks surely stained on your face.

“you’re very welcome, doll, did so well for me. thank you.” he mumbles, hand mindlessly creeping up your back, but you’re hyper aware of his fingertips ghosting over your skin. “you want your reward now?”

you nod your head, getting off of his lap and standing before he quickly moves you to straddle his waist. his hard cock digging into your core, separated by your ruined lace panties and the cotton of his grey sweats.

you grab onto his shoulders, resisting the urge to rock and grind against him because, one, your ass is literally raw and, two, he hasn’t said anything. he just looks up at you with adoration and love filling his eyes, a rare face when you’re in an intimate setting like this.

“wh-what’s my reward?” you pant nervously, shifting slightly in hopes he doesn’t notice.

if he does, he doesn’t say anything about it. “you always do so well for me, baby,” he mutters, hands finding your waist and pushing you onto his covered cock. “always take everything so well for me,” he whispers, guiding you, making you grind into him. “‘m gonna make you feel so good. fuck you like you deserve.”

your heart swells and you gasp, “what’s the catch?” you can’t help but ask.

“you just have to cum as many times as you want,” he says, kissing your tear-stained cheek gently. “don’t even have to ask permission, i just want you to feel good, understand?”

you smile, nodding your head eagerly, “i understand.”

#taehyun smut #taehyun x reader #taehyun oneshot #txt smut

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yourbpdgf · 2 years

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just something random from my drafts. im working on a really cool request i got so you can have this while i work on that.

sanzu sfw & nsfw hcs!

warnings: cnc, bondage, somnophilia, knife play, gun play, drugs, pierced dicks.

let me know if i missed any warnings.

• sanzu would never cheat on you. if hes dating you hes fucking INFATUATED with you, and seeing how loyal he is to mikey itll be the same with you.

• if sanzu had to pick between you and mikey i genuinely believe hed just get rid of himself. too hard of a decision. hes vowed loyalty to both of you until he dies, so he guesses hell have to die an early death 🤷‍♀️.

• contrary to popular belief sanzus not toxic if hes dating you. ofc he has to work late and he has buisness trips but most rich people do, right? as long as you dont need him to be with you every waking second then you should be fine.

• now to his drugs... if you really REALLY had a problem with him taking drugs to the point you were considering leaving him he would stop. being high isnt worth the loss of you in his opinion.

• but if you wanna do drugs with him? hell yeah! yall are gonna have the time of your livessss. but hed only let you do small time drugs like weed not hard shit like cocaine or anything to do with needles. he cant let any nasty needles pierce his pretty babys skin.

• sanzu keeps you in his penthouse with security surrounding it. the security isnt so you cant get out, no if you wanted to go anywhere you have a chauffeur and 2 body guards ready for you. the securitys there to make sure none of bonten or sanzus enemies get anywhere close to you. because if they did? sanzu would kill the world in its entirety and then himself. life without you has no meaning in his eyes.

• when youre with sanzu you get what you want when you want it. just ask and its yours ml! oh and when youre with him he does his BEST to convince you to stop working. you dont need to work he can take care of you just stay at home and chill, kay? you dont wanna stay in the house? thats fine take his card. again whatever you want you get 🤭.

• cuddle hcs now.

• sanzu is extremely touch starved, ik everybody says it but it makes so much sense ok 😭. takeomi was a dick in his childhood, senjus existence annoyed him and his parents sucked booty juice. therefore he wasnt getting much love, so now that he has unlimited access to that? yk damn well hes gonna take advantage.

• whenever sanzu is home hes usually in bed with you, dont be nasty its not like that ALL the time. his favorite way to cuddle with you is for you to be laying down with him on top of you. his head on your chest, your hand in his hair massaging his scalp and his arms circling your waist. to him its just so relaxing the most ideal position to be in. heaven on earth if you will.

• now onto the dirty shiii.

• sanzus MADDDD kinky. im sorry thats just how it is. his main kinks are bondage, gun play, knife play, choking and cnc.

• bondage: sanzu would use his belt to tie your wrists behind your back, hed also gag you with either your own panties or his tie. anythings fair game to sanzu as long as youre okay with it hed bound you with anything.

• gun play: hed either fuck you with his gun to your head or throat, or fucking you with the gun. obviously hed keep the gun empty with the safety on but he wouldnt tell you that. it gave both of you a rush effing adrenaline junkies .

• knife play: he loves carving his initials into you. sanzu loves gliding his pocket knife into you plushy thighs, he loves seeing your pretty red blood drip in the shape of his initials. he lives for your mixed expressions of bliss and pain when you feel his knife cut into you. he could probably cum untouched from just that.

• choking: seeing his hand around your neck while struggle to breathe is exhilarating to say the least. obviously he would never want to actually kill you, never. its just the fact that your struggling to breathe yet youre still trying to moan like a whore is amusing to him.

• cnc somnophilia: sanzus a busy ass man. sometimes by the time he comes home your asleep already and hes very pent up. now any normal person would see that you were asleep and just masturbate, but no this is sanzu were talking about. sanzu had made sure to have the conversation with you about fucking you while youre asleep and once you agreed? oh he ran with that shi. expect to be fucked while sleeping at least 4 times a week <3.

• now for dick hcs

• its pierced. he was high when he got it pierced so he doesnt remember it nor does he remember how painful it was but he doesnt regret it.

• 4 inches soft. 7 1/2 inches when hard.

• above average girth.

• its bushy but clean. he cleans it up and trims it every once in a while when he remembers. you probably wont be able to get him to shave it.

ok thats it here these r

masterpost

#sanzu x reader #haruchiyo sanzu x reader #haruchiyo x reader #sanzu hcs #sanzu headcanons #sanzu smut #sanzu x reader smut #haruchiyo sanzu smut #haruchiyo sanzu x reader smut

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darkniters · 10 months

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jschlatt whos a cowboy

flirty ass cowboy who saunters around the saloon, with a big iron always on his hip, and glass of coffin varnish (thats whiskey) in his hand.

while he’s not accounted for, he’s not hopping from woman to woman either, promising his moma that he would only settle for the right lady.

he bares a locket with a picture of his moma inside, too. he has some mighty respect for her.

hes not exactly an outlaw, but he’s not close knot with the community either. you ever hear the song el paso by marty robbins? imagine hes the perspective, not really getting into any problems until one is erupted.

women try to take his hat and force “the cowboy rule” up on him, but he always snatches it back before they can place it atop their head. he does not want to sleep around with other women.

i imagine hes been in one or two standoffs, due to the fact that hes still alive hes won both. but i feel as if hed use cheap tricks, like firing a fraction earlier than agreed, or as they walk away shooting the opponent. he doesnt play fair, and the community knows that.

he doesnt have a horse, if he has to travel he’ll probably steal one, but its not often he has to. he doesnt have a horse because hes afraid he’ll grow attached. what if the horse dies? he will be a broken man.

jschlatt cowboy, how i love you

#jschlatt headcanons #jschlatt hcs #schlatt headcanons #schlatt hcs #cowboy #cowboy jschlatt #jschlatt x reader #jschlatt x you

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mohs-aphmau-hcs · 6 months

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Ooooooo. Do you have any agere headcanons for Garroth, Laurence, Travis and Dante? I’m obsessed with your agere stuff :)

thank you anon!! ik I'm answering these, super late but still sbhdf

I love the idea of boy house sleepovers/playdates when they're regressed!! complete with blanket forts, video games, pizza, someone probably brought battery acid [the drink], everything you'd expect at a boy's sleepover

long analysis after read more, this ask got my brain turning sjdnf, might revise some other HC lists sometime too, and add more detail like in this one to make it fair ! [I definitely don't have a favorite group of characters and its definitely not the most basic favorite group of characters ever in this fandom pssh ]

I also want to clarify since I don't think I have before, while I post a lot about agere and everything is absolutely 100% SFW always, that does not always mean my HCs are safe to read when regressed!! I am someone who's experienced this for a long time and consider myself very well read/educated on this topic, so I talk about all parts of regression. including the messy/scary parts like trauma caused regression, involuntary and stress induced regression, innerchild care and healing, regression brought on by mental health disorders, everything. AgeRegression is a complex topic and mental state, a lot about it is fun, enjoyable, gives people a sense of community, and a safe space to heal. But its not always sunshine and rainbows especially for trauma survivors and I like giving representation to that side of it in my writing

Obviously regressors are 100% welcome on my blog! but when going through agere HCs pleasepleaseplease just keep in mind there might be some more heavy topics discussed if you are not able to handle those at that time !

I feel like Garroth would regress a few times a month on purpose to destress with loved ones. But I also feel like he would experience some forms of involuntary regression at certain points of his life, like the rest of the Ro'meaves, this is a trauma response

Garroth would probably regress from 3 - 10, lots of smiles, constantly needs to be hugging something or someone. He most likely has some type of security blanket or stuffie he carries around

Similar to Zane he might have some hang-ups at first with insecurities surrounding his coping mechanism, because of beliefs their father instilled in them. But he definitely learns to accept his childlike states a lot sooner than Zane despite Zane experiencing them more often

The person he'd trust most as a CG would most likely be Laurance, but he's also a very trusting and loving little guy so I think hed honestly go to anyone who knows about his regression and is willing/able to be with him and help in those moments

["...Dante?"

"Yeah bro- oh hey, Aww.. heyhey cmere, you alright little grizzly bear?"

"Mhm- jus..Wanted a hug"

"Aw, alright I got you bud. You want to go play legos until Laur and Travis get home?"

"Mhm!"]

Laurance would be a lot more reluctant to regress around people despite desperately needing care and guidance

He's a character whos used to taking care of others and being kind of like the ring leader, he often falls into a caregiver role, but feels wrong letting others care for him.

Obviously, if Laurance voices that he genuinely doesn't want to be regressed and needs help coming out of it, Garroth will respect this. But sometimes Laurance recognizes that he just needs a little nudge to help him not worry so much ab others and let himself relax and Garroth knows this too

He regresses between the ages of 4 - 13 normally and drops down younger when very stressed.

If he does let someone know he's regressing, it will most likely be Garroth. In my HCs the boys are poly and obviously, everyone is equally loved and trusted, But Laurance and Garroth have a specific bond, mainly through being together through many hard moments, that make them more likely to go to the other when they need emotional support in a more intense or constant way.

Sometimes stress becomes too much even for him and he struggles to hide his regressed states, usually, this is when Garroth picks up on this and goes full papa bear mode. Making sure not to overwhelm him, and help him ease into being more comfortable since being vulnerable or letting other people take care of him can be an anxiety trigger, even though he does need it sometimes

When he does let himself regress, he usually just wants to cuddle

Quiet nights spent on the couch or in bed, listening to music while being held or rocked to sleep, or watching tv with some popcorn and a blanket

Him and Garroth also have. So many petnames and nicknames for each other both regression-wise and just in general

Me and Squid both HC Laurance to be a meifwa, when he's small he loves having his ears scratched and pet! kind of like playing with somebodies hair

He normally becomes pretty quiet when regressed, even if he's older

Usually just communicating with points and gestures, or small noises

TLDR: Laur needs to regress more to handle stress, he doesn't let himself, Garroth makes sure he still has that time for himself to relax and get cuddles

Travis would probably be a near life-long regressor due to a mix of mental health and neurodiversity, and trauma from a young age.

I could imagine them regressing younger or older, but honestly usually 3 - 4

They'd make huge pillow forts and blanket nests all the time, partly for comfort, and partly because when small its harder for them to mask demon instincts!! So they like having a small cavelike place to hide

Sometimes their regression can be flashback or fear caused, they've be through a lot and most of what they've been though happened as a kid. So sometimes a flashback can put them back in the mindset

When this happens they really only have a very small group of people their able to turn to and feel safe with, one obviously being Dante

Dante is also who they go to the most when they need a caregiver

Unless their regressed a bit older and more energetic, space for them is very very quiet and relaxing. Usually ending up in big blanket piles watching cartoons with some snacks

When their regressed, it's also a lot harder for them to hide in their human form which is another reason they normally go to Dante (I hc that Dante was the only person to know Travis is a demon in seasons 1 - 5 besides them and Terry)

Dante would definitely regress to around 8 - 10, big kiddo ages and energy to match!

If he doesn't get to a park within the first 5 minutes he is bolting to the backyard to run around and play with whatever he can find

He loves swings and seesaws, definitely stims on swings !

Sometimes he does go a bit younger, around 3 or 4

When this happens he's usually just as excited, but probably not running around as much. He's more likly to be playing some toddler apps on his phone or kicking his feet and watching animewith some juice(specfically bug juice if you know what that is, loved that shit growing up)

He's honestly comfortable being with anyone as his caregiver, obviously happens with Travis a tiny bit more because I see them as inseparable. But he's just as happy cuddling up with laurance or garroth, or even Aphmau and Aaron, and in later seasons especially Zane

He's just a little guy that's happy to be here

I feel like his head would tilt a bit when confused

In my aus and headcanons where Gene redeems himself, as adults when they regress together they still keep that playful sibling dynamic! And a lot of times gene will step up as a platonic caregiver since he knows all of Dantes old favorite cartoons and games from childhood

It took me, so long to finish this post but I'm really happy with it and I hope you all still keep enjoying my agere content!

#mystreet #mystreet aphmau #aphmau #mystreet headcanons #age regression #sfw agere #danvis #poly mystreet boys #garrance #travis valkrum #dante shalashaska #laurance zvhal #garroth ro'meave #mystreet travis #mystreet dante #mystreet garroth #mystreet laurance

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arvensimp · 1 year

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Not a request! I just wanted to talk about the boy. I kept thinking abt Arven when listening to Everything She Wants by Wham. Not because I think hed relate but because he'd probably hate the song to the core. It was probably reminiscent of his parents' dynamic with each other. That and George Michael would be a great voicecast for Arven cause retro guys with blonde hair and a dramatic air to them??? Cmon!!!! I just know he has a smooth voice. Its not soft or inaudible either, I just think his voice would be a little breathy and velvety. Not to mention if you heard those noises wantonly oh arceus

OOOOO I like this. Again I still think j groff is the best fancast but I can absolutely hear George Michael!!!

Also leave it to THE catbed0 to inspire me to write. This is small and dumb but I hope it makes someone laugh.

Thoughtless Murmuring

Arven x reader, arven pissed you off and he's gonna try to do something about it. No gendered pronouns used to describe reader

"Hey! Hey, over here!" Nemona waved frantically from her booth in the corner of the bar as you and Arven entered.

The moment you saw her, you turned and made a beeline to her, completely disregarding your boyfriend who seemed to unsuccessfully reach for your hand.

You plopped down into the booth with a huff, displeasure evident on your features.

"What's got you upset?" Penny asked as she sipped from her drink.

"Don't wanna talk about it." You retorted, biting back most of your current frustration.

Nemona and Penny shared a look between them for a long moment before shrugging and letting the subject drop, so they could return to their previous conversation.

Just being near them helped dissipate some of your anger, and slowly you began to relax and join in.

That is, until Arven returned from the bar, a drink in each hand. One for himself and one for you.

You took the glass without a word or a look, and promptly went back to ignoring him, much to his dismay.

"So..." Nemona asked, trying to keep things cordial. "Think you're up for karaoke tonight?"

You rolled your eyes at the thought. "Absolutely not. No one ever sounds good doing karaoke anyw-"

"Up next," The DJ interrupted you over the speaker. "We have...Arven! Come on up, Arven! Your song is queued and ready to go!"

You let your head fall into your crossed arms on the table with an exaggerated groan as your boyfriend gave Nemona and Penny a grin, standing to go over to the karaoke stage.

He took the microphone in his hands and nodded to the DJ. Only then did the music begin, a saxophone solo reverberating through the bar.

Arven crooned the opening melisma before the lyrics began in earnest. True to form, he didn't sound exactly like the original artist (how could he anyway without a studio? Karaoke isn't fair.), but he did a good enough impersonation that folks nearby shouted their approval.

He sang a line about taking your hand and leading you to the dance floor, going as far as to leave the stage, mic in hand, to reach for you, but you huffily turned away, not playing his stupid game.

Arven wasn't deterred, continuing to sing through the chorus, lamenting that he'll never dance again due to his guilt.

Through the instrumental breaks, the crowd cheered him into dancing those stupid dances his does in the kitchen sometimes, where he sways his hips in a rocking kind of motion that's anything but sexy, but with this song? Ugh. What a fucking ham.

You hid your face again, having momentarily forgotten your anger while watching him.

Nemona and Penny were both enraptured by the performance as Arven belted out lyrics meant just for you about how he'll never get over his guilt.

The crowd yelled for more as the music eventually faded, and Arven took his bow, returning the mic to its stand.

He slid back into the booth next to you, jostling you playfully. "C'mon... You can't be that mad after a performance like that."

"Really!" Nemona agreed enthusiastically. "What'd he do anyway that's got you so pissy?"

You grumbled into your arms.

"What was that?" Nemona asked. "Speak up."

"He stole my fucking garlic bread."

---

(if it wasn't abundantly obvious, this is the song he sang lmao)

#arven fanfic #arven x reader #trainer arven #rival arven #arven pokemon #arven #pkmn arven

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feeling-uncomfy · 4 months

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Listen I'm not entirely versed on the Hazbin lore so forgive my bold and very fucking half assedly researched theory here but

Alastor is "on a leash" yet somehow manages to freely wander around and offer his services to this Hotel that literally no one has heard of except for maybe Charlie's family?

Alastor proceeded to act all nonchalantly about how he likes watching people fail(which, fair, considering what I've seen of his character) and sure sure it makes perfect sense why hed pick such a pathetic place like that on a surface level glance, except he could have chosen to just... watch all of hell.

They're all losers down there. Why bother with Charlie's idea specifically?

And why the vendetta against SATAN HIMSELF?? pettiness while under someone elses boot is a very dangerous game to play, so he has to have someone decently on par with Lucifer to turn around and act like that

Paired with Lillith in heaven? I can only really assume that it's her who's got a hold on Alastor's leash, telling him he'll have whatever the fuck he wants so long as Charlie- and by extension, Lucifer's, dream doesn't come true

I dont have much evidence to back this up other than Lucifer had tried this before. Probably before Charlie's time, resulting in the split between himself and Lillith, which was probably a higher up in Hell meddling on Lillith's part(considering I THINK its confirmed they still love each other?? Unsure)

Anyways, I think for the sake of "stability" and for the whole happiness of heaven, Lillith has instructed Alastor to keep Charlie from reaching her goals, and that's why he was such an utter shit bag against Adam, lost his mind because he probably knows that lovely snake man I do not know the name of had been redeemed and sent to heaven, and Charlie's plan can work

But listen, I don't know the first real thing about this show other than the fact that I LOVE its musical numbers, so take everything I say with a pinch of salt

#i do like hazbin hotel #just havent sat down to watch it because of exams #but these are my thoughts from what I have glimpsed at #hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #uh... those are all the tags i know??

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qualityempathshoebear · 7 months

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Obsession Session (As promised)

Ok so let me show you how delusional i am by telling you as much as i can remember about the boy. Ill call him ceaser salad for now. So basically, me, him, and my friend from sociology talked and laughed, and even played heads and tails together. Once the open-evening was over he headed out before us, and me and my friend went to say bye to our teacher. My friend got picked up by her dad and I decided to go to my busstop down in town, I passed by the busstop closest to the school and figured I would get on the bus to take me to town rather than walking down, but for some reason I decided to not get on the bus. I dont know if it was because I had seen ceaser salad in front of me or because i simply didnt feel like it. But the point is that i didnt get on the bus. I walked up to him instead. We stood next to eachother at the crossing stop light and waited for the sign to turn green. Two girls came up behind us and i used it as an excuse to turn my head and pretend like I had just noticed him standing there.

We gave eachother weird looks and then he began talking to me, or maybe i did to him? I cant remember. Regardless, we were talking. He poked fun at my accent any chance he got, told me I was smart, and even made fun of me for waiting on green lights before crossing the road (as if he hadnt stood and waited there himself; which makes the delusional side of my brain think he was waiting for me). We talked about movies and i told him about how scary movies were my favourite. I feel like he was constantly fliring with me, but i dont know if im just delusional. When we got to another road crossing thingy (I have no clue what theyre cllaed) I told him to "click the button" so we could cross, to which he stopped in his tracks in front of it and said "what do you say after that?". It took me a moment to realise what he meant so we said "please" at the same time. He then clicked the button and said "there are your manners". I just responded with scoffed chuckle. THAT SURE FEELS LIKE FLIRTING TO ME. We then walked for a while longer and he asked if i drank, I told him "not really" and asked if he did, he said he drinks but only on "special occasions", whatever that means. I asked if he vaped, he said he didnt, and i told him i would have bullied him if he did. We then saw the aftermath of a car crashing into a pole by mcdonalds, and I said "thats what happens when you dont wait for the light to turn green before crossing" he then very sheepishly responded "no, thats what happens when you cant fucking drive". He then stopped by the scene because he said he was planning on "being nosy" to which i obviously scolded him for inserting himself into peoples car-crashes. He asked if i was turning left, I said yes. I waved bye to him, although im not sure if he did the same, and then we parted ways. I only then realised I hadnt gotten his socials, but I feel like he would have asked me if he wanted mine. To be fair, if he had asked me after we parted, i wouldnt have been able to hear him over the noise. I havent been able to get him out of my head and its honestly ruining my mood, because I know ill probably never see him on camous again and even if i did i doubt hed talk to me or is even thinking of this encounter the way I am. I feel like he maybe just has a flirty personality because he was kind of like that when we were hanging out with my friend. Ugh I just need to forget about him, but I honestly hope he lowkey is thinking about me too. I wasnt wearing any makeup (not even mascara), and my hair was fucked and matted, there is just no way he actually likes me. UGHHH this is so annoying. Anyways ill end this here because ill just hate myself if i keep thinking about this, plus ive got exams coming up i cant be thinking about this. Byeeee.

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alovelyburn · 2 years

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Rambles about the Golden Age Arc Part 12...

....twelve....parts.... Well, we’re over the hump anyway.

Back to...

Rambles about the Golden Age Arc Part 12

First things first, I’ve never really had a powerful love of Silat - I know a lot of people like him, and maybe this reread will better endear me to him (it’s already brought a few characters up in my personal esteem) but for now he’s just kind of there. Obviously I’m here for Guts, and...

This is what I meant when I said he seems happier after his time away. It’s so rare, even in the Golden Age arc, to see him so upbeat, joking around, leaning his arm on this poor guy’s head, etc. This is, as @zombiesgohome would say, his most zen. His mentally healthiest place.

The thing is, I don’t think Guts was unhappy with the Hawks or that the Hawks were impeding his growth - rather I think his time with them is what got him to the point where it was even possible for him to go off on his own and come back happy instead of depressed. And I do think ultimately he should have gone back to them and stayed with them - and I do think he would have ended up doing that in the end if things hadn’t gone wrong. But that said, I do think his own mental state impeded his growth - his uncertainty, his restlessness, his lack of self-confidence. And as long as he stayed the course he was always going to have a few lingering doubts and wonder about what else there was for him, because he just lacked self-assurance and confidence. yes

Also, that bit where he says “It looks open to me” is, in the deluxe version, changed to “Yeah, I’m jumpin’ in.” Which is just a much more adorable (and in character voice, IMO) line.

I also really wonder about the year between Guts leaving and his return - not about what he was doing, but about ... the situation with the Hawks vis a vis Wyndham. Because they were incredibly famous in the city, so there’s no way they disappeared without a ripple but at the same time, this isn’t the modern world so its not like there’s news reports or war footage. I like how Miura played with that sometimes - like Isidro having heard of the 100 Man Slayer, but asking Guts if he’d met him, that kind of thing. But I do wonder... if their exploits are that famous -- famous enough that Silat recognizes Guts by name when he returns to the Hawks, it must have been a bit confusing when they just vanished into nothingness and came back as bandits.

Anyway!

I think about what the Hawks expected from Griffith on his return a fair bit. Because before they go down there, Casca and Judeau at least are very aware that he is probably not in a good way - for Griffith to be screaming and moaning, that’s a big deal from someone who didnt make a sound when the torturer shoved rods into his muscles. But for him to go silent is even more foreboding.

So I mean, it’s interesting that everyone figured when he got back hed just recover and everything would go back to normal. I have a lot of thoughts about it which I will now attempt to articulate but it’s difficult to do so without sounding like I’m being hard on them. Whatever!

Basically, the way the Hawks treat and perceive Griffith is a bit problematic because it’s like he’s not a person to them. And I realize to some degree he did it to himself with his Perfect Hero act, but at the same time those things feed each other, because the more superhuman they perceive him to be the more he has to lean into it and away from his basic human needs. Even here, where they’re talking about how Griffith’s been tortured for a year to the point where he no longer even screams, there’s a sense that he’s expected to bounce back and save them:

And it’s kind of... without any real acknowledgment of where HIS head might be or even what his physical state would be after something like that. I don’t think it would be reasonable to expect them to predict the extremes of his condition, but i do wonder like.. what’s he supposed to do after all of that, just put on his armor and start over? I don’t know.

And this is right here is why I do think Guts would have eventually ended up back with them in some form anyway. I kind of figure that if things had gone well (no torture dungeon, no eclipse), he would have run into them and been like, YEAH I’LL JUST DO A MISSION OR TWO FOR OLD TIMES’ SAKE, GET CAUGHT UP WITH EVERYONE and then ended up sucked back into them but without all that doubt. I don’t know that he’d just go back to being a unit commander, but you know, there’s no way he would have stayed broken off forever. ...not to mention he did it to become Griffith’s friend and you cant be friends with someone you never see. So.

I just love how almost everyone knows Griffith is fixated on Guts except Guts himself. Even if Corkus is in denial, the only reason he needs to be is because its obviously true.

Its funny though - they’re talking about what happened to Griffith as being something that Griffith did because Guts left, but actually they don’t know what he got arrested for so I’m not sure what they thought he did, like did he get drunk and insult the King or something?

On a more serious note, I do consider this the moment when Guts’ gears started turning and he started to kind of inch toward a better understanding of the person he was trying to get closer to. It’s not immediate obviously, but as time goes on he starts to wonder, and ultimately in the post-Eclipse days he comes back to that moment in the snow as the moment when he accidentally lost the most precious thing he had.

I feel like the equivalence here between Casca’s feelings for Griffith and her feelings for Guts should be a red flag, rofl. Not for the Guts/Casca romance but really for the things after that (not the Eclipse). More on that in a second, but it’s interesting like... there are frequent parallels between the way Casca reacts to Guts and Griffith but also between the ways Casca and Guts react to Griffith, or the way Guts reacts to Griffith and Casca. There’s no real Griffith -> Casca equivalence with his feelings about Guts because Griffith is really only fixated on Guts. But I do think...

...this used to be a controversial thing to say back in the day but I have seen some movement on it in the fandom....

...that Guts and Casca’s feelings for Griffith are essentially similar. It’s something more than romantic love, but it doesn’t exclude romantic love. It’s admiration and hero worship and respect and just a big mix of feelings that... ultimately has always proven greater than their feelings about other people (including each other), but at the same time isn’t quite the same as their feelings about other people... or each other. Casca falls in love wiht Guts but still ultimately chooses to stay with Griffith, you know? And that’s not romantic, I’m aware, but that’s kind of my point - that the complex mix of things they felt about Griffith always overshadowed their feelings for and commitment to others. And again that’ll come up later too when I babble about Guts/Casca and such.

In this moment, we are all Casca.

This is another line where I actually prefer the old fan translation, which was “Griffith can’t do anything without you.” Because it’s kind of clearer - “no good without you” kind of sounds, I don’t know imprecise, like he could just be in the dumps or something. But what actually happened is that Griffith became completely nonfunctional. And you know...

This might be a bit hard on Casca, but I’ve always kind of struggled with the fact that she hooked up with Guts without telling him how Griffith felt, because she’s the only one who really “got” it.

But at the same time, she did actually try to tell him TWICE and he just kinda stared at her and I’m not sure how capable she is of putting it more directly given her own feelings for... Griffith initially and then both of them. I did kind of reach a conclusion on this, too, but yes.

Okay so Casca. This page always caused some confusion both for me and for, uh everyone - I’ve said this before but often see it said that Casca didn’t truly love Griffith, only the idea of him. And that doesn’t really make sense to me because really the only one who saw him clearly.

Anyway so what I’m saying is a lot of people interpret this page as Casca saying that she was lying when she said she wanted to be with Griffith - that she meant it at one point sure but at some point she realized he wasn’t all that, and yet kept forcing herself to feel a certain way because of her admiration for him.

And that interpretation makes sense on the page, but makes less sense with the way she behaves later, and even on the next page:

Where she’s still expressing her sadness over having been unable to be with him - she even says, “well I thought I could bear (not being his lover) if I could at least be indispensable to him,” ergo her claim that she wanted to be his sword.

Anyway what I think is actually happening here is that she’s saying yes when she first joined the Hawks she wanted to be his sword - this fits into the period that she describes in the cave as the time when she thought he was a god or a miracle. At that time she had no sexual or romantic thoughts about him because she perceived him as a superhuman ideal. But then she realized

That he’s actually just a man, not a god at all. And she isn’t just a sword or a soldier, she’s a woman with a heart and with needs - as is he, right? “A heart can’t be sustained on ideals and dreams alone.” And that’s when she fell in love with him.

But of course she’s not stupid so she knew she wasn’t going to get anywhere with it. But, as she says in the beginning of the next chapter she chose to live honestly by devoting herself to him even though she couldn’t ever be with him.

Of course then, after the cave incident, she starts to develop feelings for Guts as well, but she basically tries to ignore them until...

...Griffith’s complete mental collapse at Guts’ departure forced her to face the fact that he was never going to have room for her. There’s nothing she can give him (because he only wants Guts, and she’s not him?).And then of course, with that block torn down, her feelings for Guts came to the surface - no doubt hurried along by the circumstances since Guts was actively leaving at the time.

I realize plenty of people know all of this but I just see a lot of “She never loved him she just idealized him, did you even read the manga?” when people say Casca was in love with Griffith SO I’M GETTING IT OUT THERE.

This makes her throughline as a character make much more sense.

Anyway, all that said...

I just can’t with Casca post-cliff. It’s frustrating because she was initially such a badass and it feels like all that strength and pride and focus and devotion was pulled right out of her so that she could fit into the role of Love Interest for Guts, right down to her throwing away her devotion to the Hawks and agreeing to follow him around without a second thought. It just... I don’t know. I don’t necessarily object to Casca being Guts’ love interest - I thought it was kind of bizarrely well foreshadowed considering Miura didn’t even mean to do it. But I wish it hadn’t taken her personality, like she could be just as strong and badass and prideful and still get together with the hero, you know? Gah.

Now Tumblr being anti-nsfw these days, I think???, I’m not going to post large snips of the sex scene or anything, but I will address some thoughts about things in it:

Casca: I wonder if I”m going to wind up changing. If by doing this with you everyhting from yesterday, everything I felt so desperately will become a lie. It’s like what was important will fade away and be gone.

This is because Casca has been defining herself in relation to Griffith for so long she barely has an identity away from him. In a certain sense that justifies her decision to follow Guts around but at the same time it does kind of come off like trading one Epic Hero for another. And mind you I’m not... blaming Casca, she’s a fictional character I honestly think it’s just Miura not knowing how to write women very well back then.

Anyway I do think Guts handled that well, reassuring her that just because she chooses to move on, that doesn’t mean she never felt the way she did, or that it didn’t matter.

And here’s where I talk about Guts and Casca as a romance.

So, much like Guts leaving the Hawks, I personally have mostly seen the relationship described in one of the following ways:

-Casca never loved Guts he was just a rebound because she couldn’t have Griffith and Guts is a loser for loving and accepting her because of that. ...mostly from Guts fans on other sites.

-Their relationship/feelings aren’t really real they’re both rebounding from Griffith which makes the relationship unsustainable or toxic. Mostly Grififth/Guts people.

-And their relationship is perfect and beautiful, Casca never really loved Griffith she just thought she did, Guts is straight as a pin and Casca is The Woman He Loves, and such and such. This is, I think, the most popular interpretation in Western fandom and even the DH synopses tend to push this idea.

For me it is, much like that trip, something more complicated than that.

So I‘ve said before that I think they started to develop feelings for each other in the space where Griffith wasn’t - which is to say yes, they were drawn together because of their mutual longing for Griffith, who seemed untouchable. In that sense there is a sadness to their coming together that is kind of mixed in with the refuge and joy they take in each other. Because even as they’re sitting there naked and about to have sex, there’s still uncertainty in it:

For example we have Casca having to reassure herself that she isn’t lying to herself when she says she wants to be with Guts. It’s worth remembering that she realized she wanted to be with Guts in the same instant that she realized that Griffith would never need anything she could provide, and I do think that’s connected. In essence, she chooses Guts over Griffith because she has feelings for both of them, but Griffith made her decision for her by not having space for or interest in her.

And of course we see that, when Guts ends up having a flashback and spilling all his issues to her, that is what ultimately solidifies her desire to be with him, specifically and explicitly because there are things he needs that she can give him - this having been the frustration point of her whole relationship with Griffith.

Later, as soon as the specter of Griffith re-enters their lives during the rescue mission, Casca starts to realize that Grriffith’s path forward will be different than he or she had imagined. With that realization this choice becomes stressed and she starts to vacillate between them. Because, you know, if he cant marry Charlotte then he’s free and maybe they could--

So yeah she’s still in love with Griffith, but I don’t think that made her feelings for Guts false - it’s just a situation where she wants two different things but one of them is out of reach and the other isn’t. Going back to Miura’s statement on the kinds of romance he thought women liked, Griffith is the one she longs for and Guts is the one right by her side.

Anyway I do think it was arguably what they needed at the time, but I’m not sure whether it could have lasted in the long run if Griffith had come back whole, because Guts and Casca both loved Griffith more than they loved themselves or each other.

And when they find Griffith has been pulled down from his pedestal, she does start to prioritize him over Guts and ultimately chooses to stay with him instead of going with Guts (AND GUTS IS LIKE COOL I’LL STAY TOO). That isn’t romance obviously (although there is that pre-Eclipse sequence which seems to imply that it would have become that) but it is love, and ultimately after wanting to be his support for so long, there’s no way she could abandon him in his time of need.

Guts’ feelings regarding Casca vs Griffith are a bit more complicated and also spread over the length of the series, - you don’t really see his internal world during this scene which is pretty interesting. But of course later he infamously says that while he’s bothered that Casca is still fixated on Griffith, he can’t complain about it because he is too. So I do think they’re in, I guess, similar places.

And really, while their romance is about extricating themselves from their hopeless longing for Griffith... they didn’t actually manage to do that for more than their one sex scene, which makes it a bit less of a goals romance than some claim, at least to me.

The only thing that makes me go hmm is that I do think in recent years Berserk kind of started to push the idea that Guts and Casca are a more standard romance and should I don't know get married and raise their baby or something. This is fairly new - previously you always had things like the black beast in Guts’ head telling him that he only holds onto Casca as an excuse to think about Griffith, or his bittersweet comment about how even if you replace something it can’t go back to the way it was. I do wonder if that was a bit of misdirection, since Miura had mentioned that it was time to start refocusing on Griffith and Guts instead of wandering around, but it could also just be a genuine change in approach to the relationship, People evolve and Berserk changed with Miura.

It’s also going to be hard to judge now, for obvious reasons. Because while I have no doubt that Mori is going to carry out Miura’s plans to the best of his ability, so far the new chapters kind of lack the emotional complexity inherent in Miura’s. Also practically no dialogue.

BUT THAT WAS A HUGE DIGRESSION. In the end I’m not much of a Guts/Casca person - mostly because I think the romance ruined Casca’s character - but I’m also not here to tear down what is obviously a very important relationship.

Anyway later!

#berserk #berserk meta #rambles about berserk

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pridaxus-worldbuilding · 2 years

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🎢 🖌️ 🍪 💘 for Asteria, Virac, Liliosa, Merielle, and Fiore

🎢 Do they like amusement parks? What’s their favorite ride?

🖌️ Do they have any hobbies?

🍪 How well can they bake?

💘 What do they find attractive about their partner(s)?

🥖 Asteria 🥖

🎢 Asteria have gone to a fair on her first date with Virac, it would have both of their first time as he didnt have the money to go, and as a princess it was seen as improper for her to go. There wouldnt be many rides to go on (if any) or anything but theyd engage in all of the fair games and stuff. I can see Virac winning her one of those stuffed bears in the strongman game.

🖌️Shed be much more homelier than her predecessors. Her favorite thing is baking, she’d bake when stressed or worried or anything. Shed like how warm and cozy it feels

🍪 Very well, shed be known as the Bread Queen. She’d make bread for her family at least once a week if she has time, and the family really enjoys it.

💘 Shed find Virac able to bring the best out in people. Shed like herself more when shes with him. He has such an infectious laugh and smile.

🏫 Virac 🏫

🎢 (see asteria’s answer)

🖌️ He would build miniature architecture, he built miniatures of the castle he lives and houses from towns they visited. He’d probably be one of those dads with an extensive miniature collection in his secret room. If dnd existed hed def play

🍪 You would think he could cook because his mom and him used to cook for the royal family, but all he really did was pick up supplies, and maybe on ocassion put something in with clear instructions. Otherwise he could burn water with ease lmao

💘 Hed see a side of Asteria that most people dont, the caring and loving side, the person who want to advocate for others, his little genius. It’s impossible to say one thing when he adores everything about her.

⚒ Liliosa ⚒

🎢 Lili and Meri would go to the fair are children and theyd both just like the treats they can eat. They’d get food from every stall together

🖌️ Lili would enjoy anything physically active, like archery or axe throwing. She spends much of her free time trying to get stronger. She’d also be a game enthusiast like her dad and in fact would somewhat absorb her parents hobbies

🍪 only a very little bit honestly she’d pick up everything she knows from her mom

💘 Lili is aroace pretty anti romance and sex too!

📜 Merielle 📜

🎢 (see Lili’s answer)

🖌️ Meri is a HUGE bookworm and often reads most of the time. They also would be a hobbyist gardener. They’d have all different types of weird plants

🍪 Not at all, they think baking is cool but never took it up, maybe one day.

💘 Being on the same page is a big thing. They liked Mai because they both were doing philosophy and she was such a fascinating person to talk to. They dont love Eirwen but they do enjoy his company and are great friends with him because he also is a great conversationalist.

💂 Fiore 💂

🎢 Fiore went a few times hen he was little but he cant remember anything exciting about going, was mostly dragged by parents and older siblings. Not his thing, hot sun with kids screaming noe

🖌️ Hed enjoy hunting somewhat when he was younger. Now his interests are mainly the opulent things like wine tasting, fashion etc. Hobby wise Hed decently like traveling

🍪 Nope and has no interest in it

💘 Hmmmmm, like minded people for sure. Hed enjoy the company of people who have similar interests

#glimmerier #ask #Asteria Ronchegnac #Virac Ronchegnac #Liliosa Ronchegnac #Merielle Astaseul #Fiore Ronchegnac

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