#help i didnt mean to write a whole essay

[notafraidtodissapear]

i could literally talk abt quotes from thg for HOURS like im not even kidding (i have) ....however, it has come to my attention that some people GENUINELY agree with the quote haymitch says in catching fire "you know, you could live a thousand lifetimes and not deserve him." which could not be more false. i believe they both deserve each other EQUALLY like there is no "one deserves the other more" type of thing going on. its like. they have both gone through the hunger games TWICE, peeta has been taken and hijacked, and katniss (a 17 year old keep in mind) is basically forced to become the head of this revolution. the worthiness of the other ones love should NOT be the first thing on their mind. "but she was literally soooo mean to him!" 1) womp womp 2) stfu. like i do NOT want anyone to ever call this girl mean. like ever. ESPECIALLY not to peeta. lets keep in mind what this girl literally said about peeta before "what i need is the dandelion in the spring. the bright yellow that means rebirth instead of destruction. the promise that life can go on, no matter how bad our losses. that it can be good again." hm does that sound remotely mean to u? or how abt "no one has held me like this in such a long time. since my father died and I stopped trusting my mother, no one else's arms have made me feel this safe." or maybe "i realize only one person will be damaged beyond repair if peeta dies. me." does any. ANY. of that sound like someone who is "being mean" to peeta rn???? like i could go on for HOURS abt how much katniss was in love with that boy. however. i feel like the people saying mean stuff abt katniss isnt actually made abt her actions towards him, but more the fact that she didn't really show HEAVY romantic feelings towards him until the quarter quell. which is first of all, unfair. u want this 16 year old girl who was just thrown into a DEATH ARENA have her first thoughts be "hm i wanna kiss peeta" like NO. she was much more focused on trying not to die thank u very much. AND THEN. as soon as she finds out that she can save peeta, she YELLS HIS FREAKING NAME AND GOES TO FIND HIM. like girly didnt have to do that! BUT. SHE. DID. anways.... if u agree with that quote ur wrong. have a nice day!

[romanarose]

Life update if anyone cares.

I only post this bc i was posting my depressing shit for months and a lot of people were reaching out in concern <3

cw sever depression, self harm, suicide, csa, SA, all the bad. but also lots of good <3

TLDR: Despite a god-awful semester, i got all a's and b's

Everyone thats been following me the last few months has seem my personal posts about how fucking awful things have been for me.

I've dealt with fact I can no longer deny that what happened to me was CSA, despite being on a milder side of things. That sparked an absolutely spiral. I didnt sleep for months which made things worse. School, I got an F on a midterm and i NEVER get F's on writing assignments.

Work had its complications and i quit and then rescinded that quit two days later. I was so constantly depressed in my dorm my roommate literally told me i needed to go to the basketball game with them bc i was sitting in a depression hovel none stop. I only went to services twice this whole time, one shabbat and once for Rosh Hoshannah.

I burned the ever living fuck out of my fingers, yall remember that one? lol.

In novemeber i had relapsed so severely on self harm i thought i had accidentally killed myself. I should've called 911. I thought I was bleeding out and/or going into shock. I then worked myself up more by going down pages of the internet about medical shook and people dying from it. that did not help my heart rate. I couldn't stand, I couldnt see straight for a while.

I could not afford an ambulance or a hospital stay as i am uninsured and only ork 25 hours a week. not a lot of money.

All this happened and I didn't miss work. This is not a brag, this is me not being able to makegood choices for myself.

Finally, thanksgiving break hit. Thank fucking god. I WANTED to use those 4 days of absolutely nothing to get to my TWO BIG RESEARCH PAPERS I HADNT STRTED YET but alas, I was SICK. I was so sick, in fact, and so hoped up on cough medicine for 3 days i was incomprehensible.

I was so physically ill, i couldnt even think about how mentally ill i was. I slept and slept and slept. And by the time sunday hit, I felt so recharged.

My failed midterm was so bad and so not me my professsor reached out to me. Im close with him (in a v appropriate way lol, hes a bruce springsteen fan too) and i felt comfortable telling him essentially that for a few months there things were severe, and I really should've gone in for a 72 hour hold multiple times and i was not safe. through a few lines of resources, I ended up back in therapy bc my school added a new therapist that is a woman (i stopped going last year bc i didnt like seeing a man)

I like my new therapist.

Anway, in about 2 weeks I wrote 2 12 page research papers, 2 book report papers, 1 science paper did 2 presentations, took 2 finals, wrote 2 more finals with essay questions, and at the end of it all, not only did I not fail any classes...

I GOT ALL A'S AND B'S! Which means my gpa is still high enough to renew my scholarship for my last year

I am so fucking proud of myself for accomplishing all this despite suffering so fucking badly. I havnt felt pain like that in years, just agony.

I had a down turn again over christmas bc my siblings were literally ass, upto and including making fun of me for not ating (i am multiple accounts of sexual trauma from several people, so im scared of dating), making fun of my eating, and my sister slapping me and my older brother hitting me. Was a bad time. But for right now, im in the place im staying for break (all january) im back at my old day care and they love me, and olive garden at this store has been going great

Im hoping next semester to be better, im hopful at least

Anyway, thank you so much to everyone who has supported my writing has supported me through these times. It makes me happy that i came her to share my silly little moon knight x reader series, not really intending on writing a whole lot, but next thing i know, i have friends and a lil community. so thank you <3

[heceb0lus]

God simon and betty (adventure time) & Alrick and Amelia(infinity train) are so similiar in their storyline to me

Both people are trying to savr theit loves one even if they arent coming back, the difference is that with simon and betty,their cycle of grief and madness/sadnesss is continuing

(I could write a whole essay about how Betty spending all of her life dedicated to Simon, time travelling into future to see Simon sane only to see how crown affected him,becoming a semi-insane (and pretty skilles) wizard , and evenafter therapy talk with jermaine (and finn) on mars, at the end, she still makes her last wish saying

“I wish for Simon to be safe” and not “ I wish for me to be safe/I wish the glob wouldnt kill anyone” meaning shes literally dying, merging with an eons long abomination/god- like creature who is ending the world as they speak and her last words and actions are still about Simon :((

And!! Now Simon is doing exactly that but for Betty(in the new spin off series “Fionna and Cake”) by trying to make every wish from either prismo,summoningd and very dangerous rituals with glob

Its like Betty time travelled to the future just to be stuck in the past and Simon finally got cured from the Crown,only to miss being Ice King again)

While Amelia and Alrick dont have that cycle, alrick is just dead,not possesed by a magic elemental crown or merged with a god-like entity,there is no hope for him to be saved in their normal modern world,knowing that made Amelia so heartbroken and Depressed with grief that the train,which function is to help people with mental/personal problems with different cabins by making them one-by one realising their problems,and working through them,but!! Amelia was so inlove with Alrick that after knowing about the train’s magical/sci-fi existence,she immediately does the opposite and gets stuck in the train,and instead of her numbers in her palm decreasing(which means that her problems are solving=decreasing),her numbers are increasing and are all over her body she tries to save alrick over and over again(didnt she accidentally made a clone of him and overtook the train(our little dictator ig),hurting herself and others in the process

And i dont know which is worse? At least in the end,Amelia was able to heal,i sure hope that if Betty doesnt survive at the end of Fionna and Cake, Simon at least can heal like Amelia too

[dragoncookies]

ENTP misconceptions

For awhile I honestly thought I was an ENTJ (at first even INTJ but I was goin through a ruff time when I discovered MBTI we'll just put it at that). I can get REALLY ambitious, and then ruthless/strategic with how I go about things in order to see it through. I even bullet journal, and make planners for months in advance just so I can keep track of all my ambitions. Some people would consider me Type A because of how eccentric I can be and how detailed I can get with how I spend my time.

What they don't know is that my poor use of Si causes me to do things like work on projects for four hours straight and watch the hours tick by until its 1 am and, oh no! I have somewhere to be the next morning. This happens multiple times.

I also am a professional at winging it. People would be shocked at how many of the things I do are last minute choices, or put together the night before/the moment of. I mean, I cannot count the number of times I've said (tw death) "guess I'll die" every day.

Cannot forget the fact that during quarantine I would RUTHLESSLY argue about my favorite book characters to strangers online. I wrote pages and absolute essays that would probably get high marks if I fixed them up a little. I was a menace out there.

It was only after actually researching about the cognitive functions did I realize that there was absolutely no way I could have Te. Like, at all. I learned that my constant fantasizing and well of ideas for everything in the world around me was, in fact, a high Ne user trait.

I don't get fomo from missing out at a social event, I get fomo from missing an opportunity to put my creative resources to work to entertain people.

I like to think that I stray more towards the "Jack Skellington' entp type. One might think he's an entj because of how he has this goal in mind and then goes through every little detail to see it through, but what about him getting tired of all the routines in the beginning of the movie and wanting something new (Ne)? And when he finds Christmas town, what does he do? He analyzes the heck out of it, trying to figure out how it works (clear Ti use). So, even though the stereotypes might lead one to believe Jack is an entj, in actuality, he types as an entp.

Heres some IRL examples of how I might not seem ENTP.

For preface, I am an identical twin. I type as an ENTP, meanwhile my twin types as an INFJ (it is a very interesting relationship). Our highschool offered speech and debate. Guess who started taking it first? Not me, the entp. I didn't really know much about it and thought it was just a nerd thing. Then my twin took it and had a ball (I was lowkey was super jealous). Even though my twin is the "humanitarian" feeling type, they made for a terrifying opponent and had no mercy. My twin is also often thought of as way crueler than I am most of the time, where I am described more like a sunflower and they more as a thorny rose. My twin can get so passionate they turn argumentative, and if something doesn't fit the little storyland they build their world around, they argue a lot. So, my parents always said that they should be a lawyer. My twin can get so inside their heard (high Ni) that they act narcissistic and uncaring.

It irks me how one can pay so little attention to the world around them, but you'd think I'd be the cruel narcissistic one, who people say should be a lawyer. Because I am an entp.

Personally? I like writing poetry and going to cafes. I like reading and if I see that either side of argument can be argued for within reason, I won't feel like arguing. So I don't argue as much. The whole reason I didnt take speech and debate at first was just because I thought I wouldn't enjoy arguing for things where both sides could be right (I now know I overlooked the beauty in the argument itself). The Ne/Ti/Fe/Si function stack applies to me completely, just not in the stereotypical way. Its pretty helpful. When I analyze things too much (Ti), I can recognize I am probably a little stressed. I also know that there are places in my life I should have SOME routine/structure just to be a more functional person.

So, when people say "MBTI isn't real/is pointless because people get different results all the time and how can 16 personality types fit everyone its so limiting"

Its not, really. You just have to let the idea cook inside your head and explore yourself and how you think for a little.

[acompassionatemonster]

I seriously think I’m speaking to a three year old because there’s no way you can be older than a toddler with how stupid you are. If you are older, please consider going back to school because you’re not gonna get far in life with your lack of common sense and underdeveloped brain. There is no way you can call me illiterate when you literally started your reply with, ‘not you’re mad’ and ended with ‘stay one that Jujutsu Kaisen season two’. And in your first reply you did get your ‘your’ and ‘you’re’ mixed up - you used ‘your’ when it should’ve been ‘you’re so scared’. Now please tell me if that made any sense. Take your head out of your ass and admit how much of an imbecile you are.

Love don’t worry about if I have a job or not, I know I am and will be fine but it’s you that you should be worried about right now. I don’t think you can get a job with your stupidity and illiteracy - no wonder why you read manga, bro just follows the pictures and ignores all the actual writing. Please do yourself and everyone else a favour and log off of Tumblr and every other social and pick up an actual book.

Oh come on now, don’t be a coward and avoid my question. I’ll stop bothering you when you either answer what media you are planning to consume soon or admit that you putting a Gojo spoiler without any spoiler warning and under a Toji tag was idiotic and insensitive (even though you strongly disagree - I’m sorry I didn’t know we had a new Joker over here- not that you have the IQ to be able to pull that off). I’m sorry that I’m the only honest person in your life to say you are insensitive. I bet you don’t even know what that word means given that your literacy and comprehension skills are very limited. So I’ll help you out a bit (because I doubt you can even spell it) and give you a definition, ‘insensitive’ (an adjective) - showing or feeling no concern for other’s feelings. A synonym would be ‘inconsiderate’. You can’t prove me wrong that those words don’t describe you. It was a big spoiler and I know it because you were probably crying over it and in your post you literally say you’re not ‘reading jjk anymore idc’ - therefore, you had no right in spoiling it for others, get that into your thick head and small fish brain.

I’m sorry I didn’t know you were a sheep and posting spoilers without warnings because, ‘literally everyone on here isn’t’. Are you that daft? Just because everyone isn’t, doesn’t mean it’s not wrong. Bro are you saying that if the purge happened and everyone was out wreaking havoc, you’d do the same thing and still say it’s not wrong? Are you a child that doesn’t know right from wrong? Please for the love of God, for your own future and safety, go back to school.

TLDR: stfu and tell me your opinion when you have a present dad x and sorry if this was too much writing for your bozo self to process mwah.

I think I'm speaking to someone who dropped out of school, like literally dropped out of school in the 7th grade. Because if YOU'RE SO SCARED OF SPOILERS WHY ARE YOU ON TUMBLR?? LIKE I FUCKING SAID YOU PEOPLE HAVE SERIOUS ISSUES. IF YOU DONT READ THE NEW CHAPTERS THEN THATS, ON WHO??? ITS ON YOU. and why are you harassing me about my spelling?? Bitch it's fucking Tumblr, I'm not writing a thesis, a research paper or even a fucking essay. If I wanted to write a whole fucking article and then yes I would make sure that my spellings of both 'your' and 'you're were correct. However IM NOT. AND IDGAF. So why tf would I care if I spelt something wrong or mixed a few words up???. You bitches are talentless, jobless, bored and can't fucking read nor write and still live with YOURE parents in their BASEMENT. AND WANNA COME AFTER ME BECAUSE YOU GOT SPOILED. BITCH I DONT CARE IF YOU DIDNT READ THE CHAPTER AND FOUND OUT GOJO IS DEAD!!!!! BECAUSE SOCIAL MEDIA HAS SPOILERS E V E R Y W H E R E. DONT COME ONLINE AND YOU WONT GET SPOLUED THEN YOU FUCKING ASSHAT. YOUR mother must have dropped your special ass on the head as a baby, because why are you at YOUR grown ass age GOING ON DIFFERENT PROFILES TO HARASS ME ABOUT A FICTIONAL FUCKING CHARACTER. I just fucking know you don't take baths OR EVEN WASH THAT FUCKING FILTHY ASS OF YOURS. it's fucking disgusting that YOUR Neanderthal ass came on here to give me a hard time because you what??? Can't keep up with the chapters when it releases??? Not my problem fucktard. And I'll tag my fucking posts with whatever I want. And I did answer your question, I said and I quote I don't care sweetie. So why don't you go to sleep and roll over on that cockroach infested ass floor mattress you sleep on every night. Roll over and go get caught up to the new chapters. Imagine trying to harass someone because YOU live in a section 8 apartment, with 15 other family members, have roaches and rats crawling all over you while you sleep and mad at me. NOBODY GIVES A FUCK ABOUT YOU!!! I'm just sure YOURE a fucking foster child whose mother and father left your Crack baby ass in foster care. Because there's no way that someone who had a loving, family or SUPPORT SYSTEM IS THIS BOTHERED. AND IF YOU'RE SO FUCKING BRAVE WHY WERE YOU POSTING ANONYMOUSLY??? GET A LIFE YOU SMALL BRAINED, LONELY, PATHETIC, NEANDERTHAL ASS BITCH. I HOPE YOU TOSS AND TURN ON THAT FLOOR MATTRESS YOU SHARE WITH YOU 8 SIBLINGS EVERY NIGHT.

and stop coming on my page, mad ass., stupid ass, MONKEY ASS BITCH.

[pseudonymphomania]

You can ignore this ask if im bothering, but whats your minor policy here? Like, can minors only not interact with the nsfw posts or not at all?

The short answer:

Sfw = ✅✅✅✅✅ minors can interact

Nsfw = 🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫 minors shouldn't interact

Welcome to my kingdom, anon!!!!!!! 😊

The long answer for people who like essays:

Note: I'm going to use this as a FAQ so the "you" I'm referring to is the General You and not anon.

“Do you mind if your work gets seen by minors?” Is actually a question I’ve been asked a lot because I write and draw saucy works and the accountability has seemingly been shifted from legal guardians onto randoms like me. They say it takes a village to raise a child after all. This leads easily into the subjects of censorship, human sexuality, responsibility in the digital age, parasocial boundaries, society and individuality, proliferation of paywalls that rope off the internet and free flow of information… and so on. So many subjects, so little time, and yet so intersectional. I see it often, the ubiquitous “minors dni”, even on people’s pages that don’t have explicit material; I’m guessing it’s because people don’t want the headache, but any dni is as good as a line drawn in the sand, a magic circle where all your morals live, until the wind blows it away. Have you ever been asked “are you over the age of 18?” I pressed that button just the other day and just as easily as I had when I was a minor. “Do you mind if your work gets seen by minors?” is the question I’m asked, like my saucy work is a landmine for someone to accidentally step on and to which I can’t help but imagine a different question: “Do you mind if a minor seeks it out?”*

I’m not anyone’s parent and it is not my responsibility to take care of a stranger’s welfare. You have to understand that the internet is a grey place. I don’t know who’s looking. I’d rather not know.**

I tag my smut and label it with a 🔞 with the implicit meaning being don’t look at things you’re not supposed to be looking at. I won’t ever know for certain if a minor looked, pressing the proverbial “yes I’m over the age of 18”, unless that minor was a fool and broadcasted their vulnerability to the world at large, interacting with my unsafe works knowing that their profile reflected that same perceived lack of impulse control. Goodness, if they were smart, they’d be liars.

Even so, I was young once; I lived like the puritanical ideal while also having seen society’s forbidden knowledge [sex things, oh my!]. No matter how well someone hides the cookies, someone will always climb the fridge to get them, and if I had fallen off the fridge, no one should blame the baker. And no one should tell the baker that they should stop baking, especially in their own bakery.

We exist in a moment in time when even payment processors have a say in what kind of content is distributed and how that affects art as a whole, eating into adult spaces [recently the Gumroad nsfw policy leaving nsfw artists reeling] and especially encrouching on queer spaces. Imagine the amount of chargebacks various nsfw gets because sex is so vilified in society that people have to panic when caught oh I'm really not into big anime boobs dw, oh i didnt actually commission this nsfw artist and waste 20 hours of their precious time and labour, oh i need my money back because...; I’m sure the money system abhors it for a money reason, but the root of it is the proliferation of Protect the Children™ used by puritanical opportunists. You the individual affect the wider culture as a whole through the groups you belong to, even if you don't intend to.

I’m asking for people to be smart, to think of their own well-being, but to also think of where they draw the line. Filter the word “smut” and “nsft” and "suggestive" and you should be safe on my page even though the sauce is rare in my Tumblr. This goes for everyone this applies to and not just minors.

Welcome to my kingdom. 😌

Sincerely,

Yuki, your friendly everyday sex-positive asexual

*Yes, I mind. But it’s not my problem.

**Showing nsfw to a minor is illegal and people risk trouble for doing so [lack of mens rea notwithstanding in a court of public opinion], but I have 5 different social medias. I cannot play detective and sift through every follow, like, reblog. That's impossible. Make it easier on me.

I warn. It is your responsibility to comply.

Thank you kindly!

[deadhoneybee]

Scenes from a fic ill never write (im gonna chuck it at its own ones (1) and zeros (0) )

Its a college au, roughly 1k

———————————

It was almost half past twelve at night, remus was tucked into the couch with his computer in his lap and about four books laid out next to him. He’d been trying to finish this essay for three hours now and the words were starting to swim together.

He dropped his head in his hands and rubbed his face sighing out of frustration. He could finish it after class tomorrow. The door to the dorm creaked open and remus peeked through his fingers to see a very sloshed looking sirius.

“Welcome back then, i didnt think youd be here so soon” he closed his laptop and books, stacking them all on the coffee table.

“Yeah well” sirius just shrugged and pulled of his jacket, swaying as he tossed it on a kitchen chair to his right. Remus watched him carefully, a bit nervous he would topple over any minute. He thought about getting up to help but didnt move. Sirius was an adult, and he didnt need remus’ help, probably didnt even want it anyway.

Sirius just stood there by the door, staring straight at him. He could tell sirius was thinking hard about something and it made Remus squirm, he felt like he was in the hot seat and he wanted out.

“Remus, why dont you like me.”

What. That, was the last thing he expected to come out of sirius’ drunken mouth. What did he even say? He couldnt tell him the truth? That no he did like sirius, thought he was cool and talented and even a bit pretty because thats the whole problem, and up until ten seconds ago he was positive Sirius didnt like him. He still couldnt lie to him though..

Sirius stumbled into the living area and dropped into a bean bag on the floor. “Ya know.. cuz i like you. Alot. Think youre really cool even…” he stared at the ceiling tiles for a moment before dropping his gaze back to remus, who could hardly even form a proper sentence.

Oh. Oh no, Divert. Divert right now and digest it later, this is… too much theres no way sirius could actually enjoy his company. There just isnt.

“How pissed are you exactly?” He tried to sound as relaxed as possible but at that sirius scoffed, or maybe he hiccuped? Couldve been both.

“Not very, walked back all b’myself jus fine yeah?”this time it was remus that definitely scoffed.

“Youre joking, you walked back? Like this? Where was james?” Sirius shrugged his shoulders and looked like he was trying not to giggle “dunno. He was singing karaoke, at the bar? And then i was… not there.” Remus sighed and rubbed his face again. If sirius didnt request a new dorm mate in the morning then remus would be dead from the stress before first term was up.

“Yeah right well-“

“Remus whats your middle name?”

Remus pulled his hand down over his nose and mouth so he could look at sirius. His eyes were closed and his head was thrown back, he looked very concentrated and remus was just… very lost. “Im sorry what?”

“Youre middle” he stopped and hicuped again, tossing an arm over his eyes “name.. what is it?”

“Its john? Why?” There was not response for a second and he thought maybe sirius had fallen asleep until he loved his arm and opened an eye to look at him.

“Huh… so its just your first and last then?”

“Sirius, what on earth are you on about right now.” He groaned and sat closer to the edge of the couch, and sirius sat up, or well tried before giving up and sinking back into the bag with his both his eyes now trained on him.

“Your name obviously” he rolled his eyes like remus was the one making next to no sense. “Remus john lupin, means something like.. wolf john wolf right?” Very few people in his life had pieced that together, and he was not anticipating that this is where sirius was going.

“Um, yeah.. its a bit unfortunate really. My father is.. or um he was really obessed with wolves so.” He sighed and sagged back into the couch, cracking his knuckles in a nervous habit “I like it. Better then Sirius orion black anyway.” Remus didnt know what to say to that. He thought it was a rather nice name if he was honest, which he wouldnt be, not now at least.

“Can i call you wolfy?”

“Absolutely not. Never, would be preferred thanks.” Sirius scoffed and then laughed, something that sounded so light and care free and it made remus smile a bit. “Ill think of something else then, even though i was quite fond of that one.”

“You just thought of it, you cant be that fond of it already. Besides it was awful” sirius stuck his tongue out at him, smiling. “Yeah alright then, i will think of one though”

“As long as it doesnt have ‘wolf’ in it, i might be alright with that”

“Good.”

They sat for a moment like that, the occasional hiccup from sirius and tick of the old plastic clock on the wall. Its was just about one in the morning now and remus sighed. He looked over at sirius, now curled up on the bean bag. He seemed like he was about to fall asleep, his breathing soft and even and his hair haphazardly strewn about the back of the seat and his eyes.

“Hey sirius?” There was only a hum in response “dont you have an exam tomorrow at eight?” That got his attention, he opened his eyes and stretched out his legs

“Fuck. Yeah, and my professor is a right arse too.” He tried to push himself up a few times before throwing his head back and grumbling. “Mm, moonster, i dont think i can get up right now”

“That is not, dont call me that either.” He rolled his eyes and helped sirius to his feet, he was positive that hed said something in response but it was mumbled and incoherent. They walked back to their room, more remus walked and sirius stumbled. It was a wonder how he managed to make it all the way back like this, honestly.

He stopped at the edge of sirius’ bed and sat him down, neither of them said anything as he pulled himself up all the way and curled up ontop of the blankets with his back to remus’ side of the room. He just sighed and collapsed into his own bed, pulled his blanked up and over himself and stared at the ceiling.

He could hear sirius breathing slow and steady a few feet away, some shuffling, kicking, and then a thump on the floor. He turned his head and closed his eyes for a moment before he got back up and picked the duvet up off the floor. He draped it over sirius and just looked at him for a moment before whispering “i do like you, by the way..”

He walked into the kitchen and got a glass of water, dropped a few icecubes in it and walked back into their room placing it on sirius’ nightstand before dropping back into his own bed and rolling over to face the wall.

He thought he might have heard a small thank you before he fell asleep.

[fuckedupscrimblo]

Why can't I just fucking exist for a single fucking day without being reminded I'm systematically not even considered a person and multiple places refusing to give even the most basic help for about anything.

Anyone claiming things like Acessbility are actually real lives in fucking fairytale world. Most texts explaining topics for classes aren't even remotely useful if you're nd, being filled with very stitled non direct language, useless information and posessing barely any visuals. I understood fucking nothing in all of a class because the material we got were 20 pages of pdfs, where only 2 pages were relevant to the topic, with no way of being able to distinguish them from the other pages. On top of having to write an exam on it without any Accomodations - because while I would legally be able to demand them the person responsible for filing them has been out of work and only got back to work 1 month after the exam. One aspect of said accomodations being that I can't legibly write a whole ass essay by hand on paper motor skillswise. The result being that I got the equivalent of a F meaning It'd not have made a fucking difference if I just straight up didnt bother to write it.

But we are ND so our views on this are systematically considered worthless and not taken seriously. They instead prioritize the opinion on this of some random neurotypical who clearly knows better.

[blueiight]

I think most VC fans agree with Anne's take on Lestat though, they see him as faultless which the narrative validates cause no one ever challenges his version of events, like we are all just supposed to assume it was Louis who lied and nothing else, that's why they're all up in arms about what happened in the show cause "he would never do that". Hell even with the show some of them think he didn't deserve the murder and fully blame Claudia for causing the rift.

yea, its tricky cuz no one not the meta narrative or in universe actually challenges lestat when it comes to his response to louis’s interview, but id say characters in tvc absolutely challenge lestat’s character [his disposition, ways of thinking, actions& shit] & get on his ass heavy. so i feel like that implicitly should put his perspective in question the same as any other character’s [at least it did for me] but ur rite in that the vc fanbase esp the OGs do fall in line w rice’s own opinions. it certainly didnt help that shed get on ppl’s asses for writing fic, disagreeing with her, had a wide variety of contradictory, differing opinions on her own work& ppls interpretation of the text that didnt agree perfectly w/ however she felt at the time.. yk the whole interrogating the text from the wrong perspective essay on amazon reviews lol. yet certainly we are all bonded in discussing an adaptation of her literary canon which says sum yk. i think expecting a visual medium to perfectly adapt a book line by line is impossible if not borderline ignorance, but an excellent adaptation will show what made the source a good, veritable commentary on humanity. i dont think ppl should fly into deranged clear the searches campaigns when amc does use the merits of rice’s work & interrogates lestat’s crueler ways more than his cruel actions that was glossed over in the source [bc rice had diff intentions/views on it]. i think the nature of visual adaptations done decades after the source mean as viewers, we are already exposed to multiple threads from tvc (tvl, tva, allusions to the mayfair family, the talamasca, the whole impending vampire apocalypse which may or may not be a red herring this time, claudia’s diary, etc) that show this is not only louis’s interview, but a question on the fruit of memory itself. what is recollection to an immortal creature but a drop in the ocean? what does it mean to be immortal, if not living the same live over. and over. and over. again? anyways likeeee tbf at least anne rice had an excuse for why she was so crazy about lestat, he was her muse & based off the man she stayed with all her life. honestly if i made a trio based off me, my old work& our abortion and it blew up like this id delete my presence from everyone’s minds lol. but. them fans dont have an excuse cuz thats not what lestat means to them. ofc these books & lestat’s chara may have been pivotal in their coming of age but i also think as now adults, they should accept w the infamy of tvc & its adaptations mean varying ppl w different frames of reference will have different takes on this. yea, as kids we cant articulate an understanding of dv and intimidation tactics , but as adults u should be able to re evaluate fictional dynamics & have mature discourse w/o flashing out on ppl or going on clear the searches campaigns. i guess the existence of rl martyrs for these fictional vampires answer the question ppl had yesterday on antoinette too? lol

[izepeche]

I am new to the strange obsession, but oh my gosh your works are amazing. I just want sinister strange to do whatever he wants and for me to say thanks afterwards.

I dunno what to say omg thank you thank you thank you love 🥺✨ im honestly surprised ppl still show up on my blog lol

I have so many things I wanna do but with my condition i can’t do much but i should be fully cleared to go home by tuesday ✨

but i agree. i was never really into Strange until this movie. i mean i love his design and ive drawn him many times before but idk he just didnt speak to me before now.

i have the filthiest shit to write and draw i am so vile and feral because of it but so is he. they knew exactly what they were doing when then designed him omfg. i have a HC that he’s really into bondage (including self bondage) and its killing me. its killing me that i cant write it all rn.

you did not ask for this, so i apologize in advance. but ive had this little thing rolling in my head so -

Sinister seems like he used to be a professor and its driving me crazy thinking about him in a AU being the low toned sort of teacher who everyone respects. never raises his voice (and doesnt have to) to get his pupils to behave because he’s also silently terrifying. you can hear a pin drop in his class, even when its a study period and he’s sipping his coffee and reading a book. could probably make a student cry without even trying, without even looking at them (tho he will glance to see the tears) and would secretly enjoy it because he’s a bloody bastard. takes no shit and is clearly passionate about teaching and I just wanna see him in glasses and at a desk fiddling with papers? like look-

In this Professor Sinister! AU id say he definitely smells like dark roast coffee and old books. wears a sort of musky, old timey smelling cologne with spicy citrus notes. keeps to himself, doesn’t really interact with the other professors, but may strike up a short conversation with maintenance or the cleaning staff in the evening. even though he’s a strict man he sports a more casual appearance than one would think. im thinking just regular slacks n shoes, rolled up sleeves to his forearms, usually wears a black turtleneck or dark button down shirt with a few too many buttons open if the AC is busted (again), thick salt and pepper hair slightly tussled as its been run through by his fingers because these fucking kids can’t even double space their essays how did they pass high-school.

crystal eyes lingering a bit too long on an unsuspecting pupil who is always well behaved and attentive. openly teases them to the point of hot embarrassment when they ask to be excused to the restroom, even though they asked so nicely and they really have to go. but ,” ah, ah, not until i say so.” “you know you just went 10 minutes ago” “you took too long last time”

purposefully writes comments on their papers ‘see me after class’, even if its the most well-written dissertation he’s read all year. he’s rather knowledgeable and will always find something to offer correction on. as ‘punishment’, he tells them to help him prepare for the next class by writing what he tells them on the chalkboard. this is when his usual low key tone, shifts to something else.

The professor not so subtly stares at them, scrutinizing their handwriting and how their dainty wrists move under his command. no, Professor Strange definitely does not get off to how they struggle when he asks them to write higher, up on their tip toes and a bit wobbly. he’ll make them erase a whole line if they make a single mistake in their penmanship (which is easy because of how tired and cramped they are getting). he’ll cruelly mock them, “are you getting distracted?” “we can try something easier if this is too hard for you” “why are you stopping, you’re not finished yet” “i mean, Jesus, it looks awful. but i guess if that’s the best you can do-“

and if he’s feeling particularly snippy he’ll snap a ruler on his desk to startle them, possibly messing them up further, barely bothering to stop the smile dancing on his lips. he still throws in a smart ‘thank you’ when theyre done that definitely doesn’t make up for his brash behavior. its hard to tell if his harsh interactions are serious or a ploy of flirtation, but its intense enough to get under the skin every time that they are completely flustered when they gather their things to leave his room.

its wrong to be tormenting his own innocent pupil like this- many would say the poor thing doesn’t deserve it and the professor's intentions aren’t noble. but its not wrong if they keep coming back, right? not that he gives a damn, nor gives them much of a choice; he’s not exactly a model on morality. besides, a man can have a little fun, no?

i just- love him. i love him i love him

as soon as i saw him i knew it was curtains for me. he is utter perfection because sinister is just so fucking broken and deliciously unhinged and loosely disguised as a quiet gentleman. i love the fact he’s self aware enough to know he’s a filthy bastard but he just. doesnt. care. and like great! neither do i sweetheart. id beg this man to break me, and like please sir call me all the names.

[soukeyed]

01 matel gear 02 otasune strangeboss and/or whoever u want 03 Talk about my bff Strangelove please. and/or whoever

METAL GEAR WOOO WOOOOO

Favorite character: STRANGELOVE !! OR THE BOSS. OR OTACON . OR SNAKE. or emma or meryl or eva um theres a few

Least Favorite character: ummm ummmmm ummmmmmmmm. huey obviously lol. also mgs4 naomi specifically mgs4 ... sorry girl im so sorry. also senator armstrong/sundowner/monsoon/whoever tf else is part of the rising guys im just sick of seeing their ugly faces

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): STRANGEBOSS NUMBER ONE FOREVER YEAAH. otasune number 2 obviously :) umm fortune and olga is pretty cute ... bosseva as well .. i cant fucking think of a 5th help. meiryl? also i like bosselot but specifically for how stupid fucked up they are

Character I find most attractive: the boss strangelove eva (specifically big mama) or mgs4 meryl :P

Character I would marry: MERYL !1 GIRLFRIEND FOR ME NOW itd be the boss or strangelove but i would never break them up like that.

Character I would be best friends with: STRANGELOVE !! together we will kill huey mwah. or para medic even if she is insane we will watch movies together. slay

a random thought: i think about that post about otacon being the one to carry out the boss' will without even knowing every single day. Oh my god. wauh. ok hang on one second i found it. AUHHH

An unpopular opinion: rising mid as fuck and the fans make me hate it. also i um. dont really care a lot for bb and the bb focused games sorry. like i get the point and mgsv's visuals+gameplay do slay but bb as a character i didnt really find myself invested in a lot and the weird hero worship some of the fandom has for him does NOT help LOL. like the people around him (ocelot eva miller eli etc) were way more interesting . also EVEN MORE unpopular opinion as a result of this ... mgs3 isnt really all that for me and even though its objectively pretty shit mgs4 is one of my favourites (behind mgs1 and ghost babel)

My Canon OTP: STRANGEBOSS !!!!!!! THANKS FOR THE LESBIANS KOJIMA!!!!

My Non-canon OTP: calling otasune noncanon feels so sickening but i need to face reality. so otasune

Most Badass Character: Hrmm. hrmmmmm. ok its a bit out there but otacon. after the shitty childhood that he came out of pretty um.. (gestures at the whole making a nuclear weapon thing) convinced he/his family was cursed etc etc. forming philanthropy, adopting sunny, basically ending the cycle that his grandfather and father started+perpetuated and fulfilling the boss' will :) just makes me happy. hes great. also he got to marry solid snake at the end of it all so like slay? like hes not badass in the usual sense of the word but his character development and evolution is incredibly badass to me. next step: therapy

Most Epic Villain: i dont think you can call a lot of them epic on account of every mgs villain being goofy as fuck. BUT. liquid ocelot as a villain in what was (supposed to be) the conclusion of the entire series was pretty fucking awesome though

Pairing I am not a fan of: pbbb. umm. i dont really care for snake/fox im way more emotionally invested in fox/gustava personally (still upset she didnt get mentioned in mgs!!!!!!!!! RAHH.) also johnny/meryl was so out of nowhere i still do not understand it like its funny as fuck but JOHNNY??? IT SHOULD BE ME WITH MERYL!!1 ME !!!!!!!

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): arhg. raiden. i mean gestures at rising. this could also count as unpopular opinion but i preferred him as inexperienced and a little stupid i mean even then the direction they were going in in mgs4 was pretty good with him being jaded and feeling alone. and then rising was just. huah ?!?! what ?!?!?!? also. um. ok naomi. mgs1 naomi was so so fucking good ok her speech at the end slays i loved everything about her can you imagine my shock and dismay at her doing all THAT in mgs4 ?!?!? like i could write a 50 page essay on how it fucks up her (and otacons LOL) entire character development ALSO WHY WAS FOX LIKE NEVER MENTIONED DESPITE THEM LITERALLY GOING BACK TO THE PLACE WHERE HE DIED BTW I THOUGHT SHED HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY ABOUT THAT. but honestly just the thing i hate about it all most is at the end of it all shes framed as like.. the hero. using emma+sunnys code to save da world or whatever and i guess maybe that speech was supposed to reflect her mgs1 speech but it just doesnt work when mgs4 didnt give her half of that nuance. her morals are still so ??? to me, her and vamp was such a WEIRD choice, her and otacon was um. ok look i know the writers 100% didnt mean to portray otacons csa as that at all but like it is ... anyway having a csa victim be once again manipulated via sex and not really talk about it was just ?!??!! guys ?!?!? anyway AGAIN if all of that was portrayed as nuanced as it should have been. like naomi doing what she had to to save the world and struggling w her own morals. which it IS but we learn this only in that fuckign speech for like 1 line. like its jut bad. ok to end this half the women in mgs were done horrifically but we all know that. sorry for the wall of text i love you

Favourite Friendship: SNAKE AND MERYL funny as fuck whenever she insults him in mgs4 like deserve. sorry snake. ok no WOAH though i just loved mgs4 meryl entirely even though she definitely couldve been written a bit better, like her talking about how she used to admire snake so much and now hes just BITTER and OLD like ohhh its so slay. like i dont know if you could even call it a friendship but the way they clash entirely and debatably the only place where they can agree on things and work together is in the context of the battlefield ITS SO GOOD

Character I most identify with: otacon D:

Character I wish I could be: similar to utena NONE i would not put myself through that.

AGAIN REST UNDER THE READMORE GO!

otasune time

002 | Send me a ship and I will tell you:

When I started shipping them: again i was aware of them before the games because (points at dmitri) so i guess like always

My thoughts: GRAHH. the way theyre like all but canon like kojima just say the word. that cigarette lighting scene in mgs4 WHEW. like the way they invented love its just crazy to me like really. theyre everything to me.

What makes me happy about them: everything :) the way theyve both grown as people over the years... i already talked about otacons character development but SNAKE TOO!! him finally letting people in .. finding a place for himself OUTSIDE of the battlefield .... its all so WAUGHH. like they just work off of eachother so well. love wins. gay marriage. slay. bursts into tears

What makes me sad about them: mgs4 that is all. they had so little time together. i spend half the time watching the game yelling ITS NOT FAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ITS NOT FAIR

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: umm i dont read a lot of fic to be honest so i guess standard fanfic complaints. also more of you should write about mgs4 there is so much untapped potential.

Things I look for in fanfic: again. WRITE ABOUT MGS4.

My wishlist: MGS4 OTASUNE !!!!!!!!!!!! BECOMES A WEREWOFL.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: sorry they are simply endgame to me.. i cant think of anyone LOL

My happily ever after for them: snake gets cured post-mgs4! how i dont care he just is. gay marriage becomes real. together they raise sunny and grow old together and everything is peace and love on planet earth :) god bless

STRANGEBOSS TIME!

002 | Send me a ship and I will tell you:

When I started shipping them: ok not until i actually got around to pw! dmitri you mentioned a few times but i didnt realise until then to be honest

My thoughts: AGAHRHGHGHGHGHGHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. GOD. GOD. lesbianism. women. they are genuinely just everything to me. how can a relationship be so fucking powerful and tragic when you only ever hear about it from one side. Oh my god. AUH.

What makes me happy about them: canon lesbians in my metal gear games in the fuckass 2010s :) ok no but the way strangelove talks about the boss with such open earnest love. like i just. wauh. listening to her tapes is just. WAUH.

What makes me sad about them: i mean everything. as strangelove said they were just ships passing in the night :( THEY SHOULDVE HAD MORE TIME !!!!!!!!!!!

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: again dont read fanfic a lot but ive checked and theres not a whole lot for them at all anyway LOL

Things I look for in fanfic: any strangeboss fic to begin with would be nice. if you have recs give them to me. i'll cry

My wishlist: umm.. again more content of them in general. konami youre shit the least you could do is make a strangeboss spinoff.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: umm idk considering they both die LOL. bosseva is a fun ship but honestly i dont think strangelove ever really got over it so i cant see her with anyone else in a serious relationship

My happily ever after for them: isnt it crazy how they both managed to fake their deaths and now live happily in some random country away from the horrors of war? like woah!

STRANGELOVE TIME!

003 | Give me a character & I will tell you:

How I feel about this character: man what dont i feel about her. shes amazing. shes bitter shes heartbroken shes dramatic as fuck and shes a badass. like its tragic but tell me creating a whole ass ai based off your dead girlfriend in the fucking 70s isnt slay as fuck? women in stem strong!

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: THE BOSSSSS. as i said b4 i dont really see her with anyone else tbh

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: ok yeah there .. isnt a lot. i wish her terrible and awkward relationship with bb had been explored more though like the way she just HATES him at the start is amazing.

My unpopular opinion about this character: uhh.. yeah idk shes not really talked about enough for me to know if any of my opinions ARE unpopular lol. a shocking amount of people see strangeboss as unrequited so i guess my unpopular opinion is that they were definitely both in love LOL

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: just give her more relationships tbh... i already talked about bb but like do you think she knew ocelot was the boss' son ... what did she think of him shed probably dislike him for doing the complete opposite of the boss' will (though in the end he does help take down the patriots so liiike?) ... i would pay millions of dollars for them to interact it would be atrocious. in general i wish shed been given just a little more depth outside of the boss (like give me more about how she grew up!!! what kind of mother was she to otacon!!! and ps i wish hed spoken about her even though ik she wasnt even a thing before the solid snake era wrapped up) though ig that was the point considering she was so consumed with grief... but yk. shrugs.

Favorite friendship for this character: again idk. GIVE HER MORE FRIENDS.

My crossover ship: again i dont do crossovers. SHRUGS!!

[songlyricsstories]

so high- bang chan <maybe you guys are just a little to high that you forget whats going in>

This is no way representative of the way Stray Kids act. They’re nothing but references of character, and in no shape or form is this how they act. And I am in no way romanticizing or glamorizing any toxic behavior exhibited, they’re just stories that is meant to be read. Readers discretion is advised.~

.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.

10 : 35

‘Breathe in, breathe out’ the air smelled like cotton candy and green apple as you and your best friend exhaled the sweet flavors.

“Your eyes are red” He giggled.

“Yours are too” You respond sassily as he rolled his eyes and inhaled more of it. Chan was laying next to you, staring st the ceiling. Your LED lights setting the mood with dark blue and purple, you looked at him, there was something about him that made you feel some type of way. You can write a whole essay on how much this guy might be turning you on right now. Him laying down smoking, his shirt lifting up a bit letting you see some of his muscular stomach, his hair messed up. He looks like a goddess, a prince, anything! He would be lying if he wasnt as turned on as you.

“So Chan..” you rolled over to your left side to face him. “When was the last time you went on a date” a smirk creeped on your face, he gave you a surprised look, but eventually gave in.

“Not to long ago actually, none of them were my type. I mean, they were all pretty girls, but dressed the same and were kind of boring. They probably just liked me for my looks” He took a hit of his vape.

“But i actually found someone, shes kind, a mix of fun and boring and cute too” You smiled and nodded. To be honest you didnt even pay attention on what he was saying, you were looking at his smooth pink lips, they looked so juicy that you wanted to bite them off. So you did. You leaned in and kissed him, you didnt know what you were doing, but you let your body take control. He got caught by surprise until he gave in and kissed you back, bringing you on top of him. You pulled back and smoked more of the vape, his hands finding home all over your body as you grind on him getting him hard. He pushed you off him.

“Ugh, we cant do this!!” He groaned, getting up from his spot, leaving you on your side confused, but upset he pushed you off.

“Why? Did I make you uncomfortable? Im so sorry!” You panicked and you blamed yourself for not paying attention on what was going on.

“I have a girlfriend and.. i cant do this to her!” He was blushing and avoiding eye contact, this gave you a better idea. You smirked and crawled to him, your cleavage showing off a bit. He avoided eye contact and backed up.

“Maybe she doesnt have to know, this can be a secret between us.. You clearly enjoyed it, i mean.. youre blushing and youre hard so why dont you let me help you? hm?” You bit your lip as you sat on your knees and slowly undressed yourself. He wanted to look away, he needed to, but he couldnt. All he thought about was how soft your body felt, your curves and your smell, how could he reject some heavenly shit. Hes not at church, but hes definitely gonna get blessed.

“Wait, lemme help” He hesitated and walked to you, gently unclipping your bra.

“Good boy” You smirked as your hair fell down your shoulders.

“Show me a reason why i should keep this a secret” He gulped and nodded. ‘this is going to be a fun night’

[emetkoto]

idk man I just really like your style of rambling about them ig? like I find peoples' enthusiasm for things very sweet and infectious sometimes and your emetkoto posts defs hit that spot for me? like your joy and love for them seeps through and infects me too it's great. emetkoto good. anyway tell us about after vauthry. do it. give us the deets.

well thank you very much, it makes me happy to hear that ive had that effect on you 🥺🥺🥺 thats exactly what i hope to do with my posts about them but i do have bad demon brain so sometimes im like hmm. 'am i just being unbearably annoying instead actually???' and ofc sometimes its 'oh this is not original at all nobody wants to read this' so its always nice to have a little reassurance like this ghsljgsfd….

cracks my fingers so hard they all break anyway now for that essay you asked for

RIGHT SO LIKE right before vauthry, literally the night before that fight is when emet selch takes k'oto to the tempest to marry him and seubsequently erase his memory of it to "keep things fair" or whatever (basically he still had tiny little pangs of doubt about how things would turn out bc of yknow the whole being tempered for 12k+ years situation and he wanted to make sure that if it like. came to them having to fight. k'oto wouldnt hesitate bc he had smth like that holding him back :,) little did he know that he tried to hesitate in the end anyway and was only stopped from sparing him by ardbert) but thats a whole like other thing i still have to finish writing the worlds longest stupidest hardest to read post about so im physically restraining myself from going on about this anymore right this moment as much as i want to repeat myself forever about it bc GOD. God. god.

but anyway he was full of love and hope for k'oto, so much hope that he would be able to hold the light and prove mankinds worth so he could lay his mission to rest and stay by his side (and undo the spell holding his memories of the wedding) he was so SO ready for it and then. it just. all came crashing down :,) he'd allowed himself to let his guard down and put his duty aside and have hope in humanity again one last time and fall in love and k'oto just couldnt do it! even with his subtle help holding the light back he couldnt handle it, he was still too weak at 7 rejoinings and that shit hurted bad!!! he succumbed to the tempering and grief and rage and disappointment and closed himself off again…from there its probably the more canon adjacent bit of their story, graha tia acting embarassment, back to the tempest (altho k'oto doesnt remember having been there once before AUGH), amaurot, dying gasp :,)

throughout it all k'oto is trying desperately to get him to listen to him again but emet selch keeps cutting him off and ignoring him which hurts A LOT and ofc he says some. mean things to try and get him to just leave it be and accept what has to be done and stop talking about it bc HE didnt wanna think about it anymore EITHER obviously here but k'oto doesnt give up he keeps trying all the way to the very end….he never planned to kill emet selch, he just wanted to weaken him enough that he would take a moment to stop and think and listen , a last ditch effort to fix things but ardbert (and everyone else really) saw that it was like. too late for that. there was no way in hell emet selch was hearing reason anymore and if k'oto let him live there was a pretty high chance he would just kill him when he tried to get close to him so he took control of his body and made sure that axe killed, oops! way to kill a dudes soulmate and then be absorbed into his soul so you can never actually apologize for it…when the dust settled and k'oto realized what had happened he. was. A MESS!!

the only thing stopping him from breaking down right away was emet selch shushing him like 'let me enjoy this last moment with you in peace and quiet'……remember us and all that (although 'us' had a very obvious double meaning here

anyway tldr; WEHHHHHHH,,,,,,,

sorry for unreadability i very much wrote it exactly as it came out of my brain which is a long run on thought with no consideration for line or paragraph breaks. i tried to turn it into a few chunks for you

[cellsshapedlikestars]

hii previous anon here!

no need for trigger warnings it just really gets me in my feelings so compliments to the chef 🤌🏼

i think its so sad because there's no turning back time, no matter how much they would work on their relationship and even if they did get as close as a true family, alayne would still be there occupying a space that was meant to be sansa's, having grown up with an amazing support system that she lacked, even though it was "rightfully" hers? no shade at alayne. every child deserves a supportive and loving family. i think its sad that they didnt feel her absence because someone filled her place while she definitely felt the absence of love, if that makes sense. i feel like no matter how much she integrates into the family, the story could never have a truly happy ending.

i dont know if you know the story "a past worth having" where sansa is abducted as a child and grows up as baelish's daughter. i think its really similar but the one thing that makes it hurt less to read (for me personally) is that the starks did feel her absence and although they are a big family, there was still a place for her to fill. weird analogy but imagine a dinner table: sansa in apwh would join a dinner table where everyone is sat and there'd be an empty chair for her but the sansa of this story would see everyone sat at a full table and catelyn jumping up to get a chair and jam it between two others 😭

i know the message of your one shot was that there could still be place for sansa if she wanted it, that they'd just have more to love with alayne and sansa but i definitely think it would be difficult to just become part of a family that never knew you existed after 20 years rather than be reunited with a family that already had a bond with the thought of her

okay i am SO SORRY for ranting on your inbox like this😭 i dont know why im so hung on this story. its a good thing you usually write happy endings because your sad stories result in lengthy essays like this i guess 😂

Don't apologize for ranting, anon!

I completely understand what you mean by all this and it's sort of the point, Sansa even says it herself to Jon - in the stories she used to read, the lost princess was never replaced.

But think of it this way, maybe. Plenty of people have shitty childhoods and still go on to lead happy, fulfilling lives. Plenty of people create a found family, in their late teens, early twenties, maybe even later and find that just as fulfilling. Sansa will grow up, she'll have a whole new family to give her the love and support she was missing. She'll find common ground with Alayne, who herself has to deal with the fact that her birth father doesn't care one bit about her, while Sansa's birth family wants everything to do with her.

She'll fall in love, have her own children, start her own family. She'll love those children the way she missed out on for sixteen years. She'll love them the way she learned to when she finally found the Starks.

I don't know if any of this helps, but that's my version of this fic's future.

(oh, and for anyone who hasn't read a past worth having, go do it!)

[fruityocto]

! Introduction Alert !

personal account!! @tacozonesu + @softandfluffycalliefan is literally the best person in the whole wide world.. please go give her some love on her art too!!! its SO pretty!!(just like herself!!) ((love you wifey <3<3<))

anyway yeah i wanted a personal account because im dropping the whole social media thing and just want to do it for myself and not to build a following like i originally intended when i first started my social media journey back in summer of 2020.. i will not be giving out the name of it for multiple reasons.

anywho, i go by They/He and im pansexual. Please try to use tone tags with certain messages!! i have a hard time deciphering tone through only text without them, after some bad experiences with that i decided i needed tone tags. please try not to use feminine terms for me(unless for satire/humorous purposes)

im trying my best to improve myself every day as a person, for my girlfriend and the people around me. if i say something wrong by accident, please try to correct me in a polite way, i havent had good experiences with people when i slip up, so please be patient with me.

with that out of the way, im a huge fan of splatoon and owl house, amongst many other things. I like to draw a ton..i wouldnt say my art is the best, but i try. i also have a fascination for flowers and crystals... it comforts me in a way. i just never talked about it to anybody because i kinda. yknow. wanted to keep it to myself as a little thing i can study and learn about. im too shy to talk about something like that with people, yknow?

[ uh oh girlfriend ramble😭 ]

i have a BIG fear of bugs though, and my girlfriend is obsessed with them, so its a little bit stupid..but she deals with them for me. she doesnt kill them, which im starting to not wanting to, she just cares for them in the gentlest way possible.. which is something i literally ADORE about her. shes so sweet to almost every creature in the world, she even took care of a mantis for like.. a week or two straight. it was so cute i CANTTT shes so sweet and i love her to death and will personally throw hand with anyone who tells me otherwise. shes one of the nicest people ive ever met, she helps me in every way she can and i love her so much for it. shes so supportive of everything i do.. im so happy i have her. shes one of the most special people to me, and she plays a big part of my healing process. whenever i think of what my life would be without her, its just.. sad. she brightens up my days even when she doesnt try and she just warms my heart..im being so cheesy and i genuinely dont care anymore this girl is my everything. ever. not to mention how drop dead gorgeous she is. I WAS SITTING IN MATH CLASS NEXT TO HER AND FOR LIKE. 5 MINUTES STRAIGHT. I STARED AT HER THE WHOLE TIME. i didnt even notice i was staring at her. i think that just PROVES my point. i love her so much and she has her own special place in my heart and godDAMNIT i wish i was with her right now. just. laying down and talking to eachother while at like.. 2 in the morning while running on an hour of sleep. SHE MAKES MY HEART FLUTTER SO MUCH.. I WAS IN SOCIAL STUDIES AND SHE WRAPPED HER ARM AROUND MY WAIST FROM THE SIDE AND I SQUEALED IN MY HEAD IT WAS LIKE A CHEESY X READER FANFICTION but it was SO COOL EEEEEEWJDJNSNDSNSNNS

dear god i really just made a whole essay about my girlfriend..i think that just comes to show how much she means to me sjdjsndn....i had to write the warning AFTER i made that because i realized how much i wrote BAHA

if you got this far, thank you for reading you have so much patience oh my god........take my creature while ur here

- sam☆

[ahundredtimesover]

I promised an essay and i WILL write it even if it's 9am and I'm at work <3 and now that I can finally send pictures on asks, Mimi pls consider putting this on your angst from now on thank you:

OK now about chapter 9 ^^ haha ^^

i DIDNT KNOW YOU CAN PUT ON KEEP READING TAB ON ASKS

first of all i didn't realize you mentioned me in your A/N bc I was too caught up on preparing myself to be hurt <3 second, goSH the thing this chapter makes me feel 🥲🥲 when I told you I'd need at least three business days to recover I mean it spiritually; at least I don't feel like bashing my head against the wall because I understand where everyone's coming from.

Usually reading series like this I end up annoyed most of the time because they often use miscommunication as nothing but plot device--no background whatsoever. But this? Jin & OC both have their own internal conflicts and they're both complicated in their own way. The ghosts of their pasts hunt them in ways that anyone would understand that they hurt and they hurt bad.

Unfortunately, I relate way too much with OC and her overanalyzing ways 🥲 but of all things, there's one that struck me the most.

“Okay, not that I defend the lying because I’m still gonna give him shit for it,” Jungkook replies, “but he’s clearly way better than those fuckers. And fine, even if it’s not Jin, or the heck, it can even be Joon but what I’m also trying to say is that ___, you deserve love and yeah, it may hurt a bit but the right one won’t hurt all the time. I just hope you won’t have your wall up forever and actually see that some things and people are worth getting over your fears for.”

I didn't expect to be personally attacked like this Mimi 😭😭 but what he said rings something within me that i didn't expect to. I think it's important to note that, yeah, love is going to hurt one way or another. If you're inclined to romantic relationships, it's never going to be filled with happiness and happiness only. It's going to hurt and perhaps it's worth the pain if it helps your relationship grow. I'm not glorifying fights and emotional distress, but... yeah, it may hurt sometime but until when will you distance yourself from the chance of much more happiness in return?

(and also, Jungkook I will baby you if you want)

Next, WHAT THE HELL

YOU SAID YOU WILL HURT ME AND YOURE REALLY KEEPING YOUR WORDS HUH? YOU KEEP ME ON MY FEET HUH

the way my heart DROPPED?????? like i literally recommended the song so i KNEW. i KNEW WHATS COMING. but was i hurt any less? No <3 i kinda expected... it but i never thought he'd jump right into the d word WTF KIM SEOKJIN?? I KNOW YOU WANT TO BE UNDERSTANDING BUT?????????? gosh rereading their goodbyes after knowing what's coming after hurts in its most pure sense.

one sentence resonates with me for some reason:

“Could you, uh, could you let me know when you land?”

will OC still call him?? will she pretend like she hasn't seen the letter? how will she face joon after that??? it's kinda cruel, tbh, giving that letter knowing it'll throw her off and mess up her mind when she's about to talk the talk. but perhaps if he believes OC doesnt feel that way, Jin probably thinks it'll feel liberating for her. WHICH DOESNT MAKE IT BETTER FOR ME.

ok i rambled long enough alrd ciao

I’m so touched you went off anon for me 🥹🥹 did u buy the tickets to Manila yet?? Hahahaa just kidding, I know where you’re headed to 😉 but plssss u make me laugh and u make me happy! I love hearing your thoughts and picking out the things that stuck with you: It's going to hurt and perhaps it's worth the pain if it helps your relationship grow. - this whole thought of love hurting but not always is true; it’s how we learn; I think that’s what separates healthy relationships from toxic ones.

Also, asking OC to tell him when he lands ajdjajzjaja I 😢 in that part, too. They have so much baggage and it’s all coming to a head (as we’ll see more later on) and we just want them to run to each other and finally be together 😩 but yes, lots of things happening here. I’m just so happy you dropped by and not as anon this time ☺️☺️🥰