#help ma bren

[spookypotato]

i think the anon from the other persons account said they felt like they missed something(as in it was a typo) meaning that since the characters were older we missed a whole gap of time?? i’m not sure but i absolutely loved the cosplay you both look great and you fit the characters well and the script is amazing and the whole thing is just wonderful <3333

@moonofthenight

oooooooooh. thank you for explaining :)

yeah, carina already said, technically they're both children in Sweater Weather, but we didnt want to do a story line for 11-year-olds having crushes... so prom it was and we just aged them up to fit that. also, I doubt I can make myself look like an 11-year-old...

Aand. Thank you so much!! eek :)) You're so sweet! <3

[huggybug]

Hey could you write something where one of the UMich guys has a teenage daughter who has her first boyfriend or break up and her dad and UMich uncles are super protective over her

happy dilf day!

“Dad!” She whines but Matty holds his hands up meaning, ‘not my problem, kid’.

“We just want to meet him!” Thomas says. Your daughter’s first boyfriend was the ‘him’ in question and also the biggest secret she’s kept from her uncles ever… well it was until her younger brother let it slip.

“And maybe beat him up” Brendan mumbled but it was loud enough for everyone to hear.

“No! Mom!” She looked to you for help.

“No beating up kids, Bren” You said before looking over to your daughter, seeing if that was good enough.

“That’s it?” She deadpans.

“Okay boys… leave her alone, you’ll scare the poor boy away” You address the group who don’t really listen, not surprising.

“We’re not scary” Owen scoffed and you looked at him in disbelief.

“This friend group is literally just NHL players, that’s intimidating to some people, especially when they’re dating one of the NHL players daughters” You argued and your daughter was finally grateful that you were sticking up for her and her boyfriend. The boys all started to argue about who was the scariest when you heard the doorbell ring. Since everyone else was invested in the argument, you got up and made your way to the door, opening it to reveal Josh, your daughter’s boyfriend.

“Josh! Hi hon… uh you probably don’t want to come in right now” You kept the door closed enough that he couldn’t see in but more importantly, nobody could see out.

“Babe, who is it?” Matty came up behind you but you could tell by the multiple sets of footsteps that he wasn’t alone. You send Josh an apologizing look as you opened the door a little wider.

“Hi Sir” You hide your giggle when Josh formally greets Matty even though he’s told him many times that he can just call him Matty.

“Hey Josh”

“Josh?” You hear your daughter and then look behind you to see her sprinting down the hall and shoving Brendan and Owen away.

“Is this him? Are you the boyfriend?” Brendan yells as he’s being pushed down the hall.

“Uh…” Josh stands in the now wide open doorway as the group of hockey players files into the foyer.

“I’m so sorry” You mumble as you let him inside, knowing there was no way they’d let him leave now.

“Don’t you dare” Your daughter warns her uncles, waving a finger at them all, most of them are smiling sweetly while Brendan is smirking and Thomas is looking the poor kid up and down.

“So… Josh is it?” Kent asks, breaking the silence. Josh nods and you watch as the boys introduce themselves, some more pleasantly than others (cough, cough Brendan).

“What exactly are your intentions with our little-”

“Dad!” Your daughter whined and Matty laughed as he told Brendan off.

“Uh I intended to pick her up for dinner” Owen, Jacob, and Kent all start laughing while Brendan crosses his arms, a stern look on his face.

“We don’t need the attitude, Josh”

“Bren… cool it” You warn and he surprisingly doesn’t fight back.

“All I’m going to say is don’t break her heart” Owen says, doing the towering thing he was way too good at.

“I don’t plan on it… Mr. Power” Josh, poor kid, looked terrified so you nudged Matty trying to get him to step in.

“Okay guard dogs let’s go” He started pushing the boys away and down the hall.

“Don’t worry, I’ll keep Brendan away from you” Thomas smiled at the two teenagers before walking away, following after Brendan who Matty was practically forcibly removing.

“She’s practically my kid too so just know- we’re coming for you if you hurt her” Jacob warns before trailing down the hall. Owen reverted back to his usual self, smiling and saying it was nice to meet Josh as he walked away and Kent followed suit.

“At least it’s over” Josh sighed. You knew that they were both dreading the inevitable day that he was going to meet her uncles.

“Oh honey… just stay away from Matty’s team, they’re just as bad” Matty’s teammates are just as protective over your daughter since they were around her all the time for all her life.

“There’s more…” It was like it just clicked that there was another group of men and Josh looked horrified.

“It’s okay, they’re more… normal than these ones” Your daughter says and you have to agree. The Michigan boys were quite insane, especially when they were all together.

“Go, get out of here before Brendan comes back to drag you inside” You push them out of the door. “Have fun! Be home by 10!” They were gone just in time as Brendan came running back with Thomas and Matty chasing after him.

[lukeevangelista]

I posted 4,497 times in 2022

That's 4,477 more posts than 2021!

2,892 posts created (64%)

1,605 posts reblogged (36%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@bitchinbarzal

@mack-samo

@bbrissonn

@ethancale

I tagged 1,825 of my posts in 2022

#soft thoughts w/ari - 943 posts

#thotty thursday w/ ari - 436 posts

#thotty thoughts w/ ari - 415 posts

#nick blankenburg - 280 posts

#brendan brisson - 164 posts

#thomas bordeleau - 157 posts

#matthew knies - 151 posts

#matt boldy - 114 posts

#luke hughes - 103 posts

#ari’s soft night - 76 posts

Longest Tag: 113 characters

#but when you start going omg i want xyz to [redacted] and [redacted] me that's where we're going to have problems

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

lie to me - brendan brisson

prompt 044: how many times are you going to look me in the eyes and lie to me?

requested by: @bitchinbarzal

OKAY i might have plans for this one to be a bet. like i couldn’t run with it with this prompt. thanks bestie for requesting <3

DON’T forget my requests are open until 3/31! here is the link for prompts and the original post!

also maybe part 2? i left it open so there could be one if wanted!

—————

“come over after class?” brendan gave you that soft smile that absolutely warmed your heart.

you gave him a nod, watching him walk back to his hockey friends as they looked you up and down.

huh. weird. that was new as you had always gotten along with the boys really well, at least you though. you shrugged, letting the feeling roll off your back as you continued walking to your next class, feeling eyes on your back as you walked away.

you covered your eyes, the sun blinding you as you walked down the sidewalk, looking towards the cars that were in the driveway of the home that brendan was living in during his sophomore year. you made your way up the stairs, sliding your wet shoes off before entering the house.

“it’s s-so cold out there.” you said as your lips chattered.

brendan jumped off the couch, him wrapping his arms around you, rubbing his hands up and down your arms trying to warm you up.

“well babe, it probably doesn’t help your clothes are damp.” he gave you a lopsided smile as he lightly pushed you towards the stairs, “go grab some clothes from my room.” he said. you quickly nodded at him, taking off up the stairs as he sat back on the couch.

“so..” truss began, raising his brows at bren, “i thought you were cutting it off after three months?” he asked, “at least that was what the bet was for.”

“shut up truss, she might hear you.” brendan hissed, “but that’s besides the point, i actually think i love her.” he whispered.

what brendan didn’t know, is you had heard what truss had said, but not what brendan had said, well at least the second part.

your mouth had dropped as you waited around the corner of the stairs, waiting for something else to be said.

See the full post

226 notes - Posted March 22, 2022

#4

happily - ethan edwards

this was requested by @ethanedwardsgf

please don’t forget my requests are open!!

it’s not how you’d normally do a song imagine, but i did it my way.

check out my other work here!!

based on happily by one direction

lets just start with a flashback to a couple of months ago, right when freshman year was starting. you and ethan had always been closer, compared to the other freshies, but for some reason, he was pulling away and you were taking notice of it.

“have you noticed a change in ethan lately?” you asked mark as you took a bite of the sandwich you had brought from home.

“not towards me, but maybe you.” he grunted back, taking a swing of his water.

“what’s that supposed to mean?” you asked, genuinely confused.

“ask mason.”

mason. mason harris. the boy you had started dating a couple of weeks before everything blew up. the boy from your pre-calculus class that you had been drawn to.

“what does he have to do with eddy?” you asked, not getting the bigger picture.

mark raised his brows at you, “have you really not seen how ethan looks at you? especially when he’s around mason? anytime mason holds your hand or just touches you, he looks like he’s going throw up.”

“i guess i never noticed.” you slightly shrugged, looking back.

“you don’t realize what you do to him, y/n.” he started, “you don’t realize you two were meant to be. but one day you’ll see it.” he said standing up, “i gotta go, i gotta get to class. see you later y/n/n.” mark gave you a soft pat on the shoulder leaving you with your thoughts.

———-

this lead you to now, at a party with your current boyfriend and the boys. blanks had thrown a party for the championship they had just won.

See the full post

227 notes - Posted March 21, 2022

#3

baby kuemper - cale makar

my fav rosy cheeked boy, i just had to write something for him. and how else would i do it? by making the reader my fav goalies little sibling.

pairing: kuemper!reader x cale makar

no warning! just fluff and the boys teasing cale & reader

——————————————————————————-

“i’m so excited you’re here.” darcy grinned at you as he wrapped you in his arms as he picked you up from the airport.

“me too darc. me too. i missed you so much.” you smiled back at him as you grabbed the handle on your suitcase once again.

“i have so much planned for us, other than on game days, obviously.” he trailed off as the two of you walked to his car. he loaded your stuff in the trunk before walking to the driver door and getting in. the two of you made small talk before you finally arrived at his and his wife’s home, seeing a couple of cars in the driveway.

he unloaded your stuff, him grabbing the handle of the suitcase and tugging it behind him, “oh yeah, i hope you don’t mind, but a couple of the guys were over before i left to grab you. i just told them to stay put.” he mentioned as he unlocked the door.

“darc, it’s your house.” you laughed, “i don’t care who is over.”

he opened the front door and that’s when you heard all the chaos.

“what the fuck ej?”

“i told you not to do that!”

“shut up landy! i do what i want!”

“this isn’t your house ej!”

“shut up!”

darcy looked at you with wide eyes before walking to the living room, leaving you standing in the foyer.

See the full post

232 notes - Posted April 28, 2022

#2

just imagine kniesy on vacation with you and your family and he's slowly fucking u at night and no one can hear it so he keeps kissing your moans away

oh my god, you cannot tell me he wouldn't do this.

-----------------------------------

matthew had been after you all day honestly. you were in florida with your family, him coming along this year, unlike last year. you guys had just finished dinner and your family was back in their villa, watching a movie in the living room.

matthew was sitting beside you, a blanket covering you as he rested his head on your lap, one hand tucked behind your back and the other on your thigh, dangerously close to your heat. every time he would move his hand, you'd suck in a small breath, waiting for him to get closer but he never did.

the movie finally ended, your family saying their goodnights as you all dispersed out of the living room. you felt matthew finally raise up, a smirk on his face as he looked towards you, it just now being you two.

"i can literally tell how fucking horny you are from here." he grinned as he traced his hand up your thigh, hooking it in to your shorts waistband, "you- you really thought i would do something with your family right there?" he continued, "you're a bigger slut than i thought." he grinned as he slipped his hand into your underwear, causing you to let out a low groan.

"matty, please." you whispered, "do something."

he let out a laugh as he stood up, letting your waistband go with a snap. you huffed and flopped backwards on the couch as you stood up, following him into your shared room for the week.

"that's so not fair." you whispered to him as he sat on the bed; pulling you between his legs.

"oh yeah?" he grinned as he looked up at you, you taking his face in your hands.

"yeah, its not." you replied as you moved your knees to rest on his thighs, him tugging you closer, "so not fair." you mumbled as you pressed your lips to his, the kiss becoming heated quickly as your teeth clashed together; it becoming needier than usual. he tugged at the bottom of your shirt, pulling it off when you leaned back for a second before shoving your lips back on his.

"oh shit, is the door locked?" he asked, breaking the kiss as he shoved you off of him, to get up to check. it wasn't, which was good for matthew to remember it, unlike the one time his roommate walked in on you two.

by the time he was walking back to the bed, you had flipped over; your gaze already on him.

"god, you look so beautiful," he started as he crawled up the bed, "but you'd look even better without this." he quietly said as he undid the clasp on your bra, him helping you slide it off as he crawled up your body. he attached his lips quickly to your neck, causing you to let out a low moan as he popped the button on your jean shorts, his hand dipping back down in them, but this time, he gave you what you needed. his finger teased your clit as he licked a stripe up the base of your neck before sucking in one spot.

"you- you can't leave a hickey, m-matty." you panted out, "not this week."

he laughed against your neck, hearing how desperate you sounded for him. he leaned up, him helping you slide your shorts and underwear off in one swoop before he tugged his own shirt off. he

"god baby." he mumbled, "you're so wet for me." he grinned down at you as he kissed down your body, his body settling between your thighs as he kissed the inner part, you let out a deep breath.

"matt, please." you muttered, "do something." you begged as he smirked, his tongue drawing lines against your thigh, him stopping to suck in certain places before he attached his lips to your clit, you letting out a moan.

"baby." he said as he pulled away, "you have to be quiet. there's no other way well be able to do this." he said as he stared up at you, "now, are you going to listen to me or am i going to have to stop?" he asked.

"i'll be- i'll be good."

"good girl." he said as he attached his lips back, running his tongue in different patterns and shapes as he massaged your thighs before wrapping his arms around them to keep you in place. you pulled your hand up to your mouth as you bit on your knuckle to keep you quiet as your other hand went down to matthews hair, tugging slightly.

he hummed against your clit causing you to jerk as he inserted a finger into you, slowly working you up; to prepare you for him.

"baby please." you mumbled out, it being disrupted by your hand.

you could feel the coil tightening in your stomach as you felt him speed up his movements, your body shaking slightly causing him to tug you closer. he knew you were getting closer and the moment you were about to release, he pulled away.

"what the fuck knies?" you hissed as you leaned up to look at him.

"you're not cumming that way baby." he grinned, "you're only cumming with my cock in you." he continued as he shoved his shorts down, his underwear going with them. he prepped himself as he went to enter you, lining himself up before shoving in slowly.

he let out a small grunt as he leaned forward, connecting your lips to keep you quiet as he slowly moved, his hand finding your clit again to help edge you closer, back to where you were. he felt you clench around him, a breathy moan being let out into your mouth, him pulling away for a second to watch his length slide in and out of you at a steady pace.

"you gotta- you gotta be quiet." you teased as he pushed himself back into you, him shutting you up by pressing his lips back to yours, his hand rubbing faster as he brought you closer and closer.

"go ahead baby." he muttered as he felt you clench around him once more, you releasing, him not being too far behind as it only took a couple more thrusts.

See the full post

239 notes - Posted April 17, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

salt and sugar - owen power

please don’t forget my inbox for requests is OPEN

fwb!owen x reader, bestie!kent slight.

“i still do not understand why you don’t like him.” kent sighed, “he’s my best friend and you’re my best friend. i just want you to get along.” he pouted.

“i’m not sure what to tell you kent.” you shrugged, going back to reading on your phone. little did he know, you and owen had been talking. not in such friendly ways, but more of a friends with benefits type of way. but no one else needed to know this except you two.

it happened at a party the boys threw. couple of drinks later, you and owen had found yourselves in his room, you pressed against the wall as his lips attacked your neck as your hands traced down the front of his body, stopping at the button of his jeans.

“are you sure you want to do this?” he asked, his lips nipping at your neck.

“shut up and kiss me power.” you muttered, pulling his lips to meet yours.

it didn’t take long for you to end up under him in his bed multiple times after that, mainly when you two weren’t sober; but you’d be lying if you said that there hadn’t been times where both of you just needed the other with no alcohol involved.

there was times you two just simply needed to let frustration out and both of you knew it was okay to take it out on the other.

kent had tried to get you to two get along for a while now, but nothing was working and he was starting to get annoyed.

“can you two please just go try and talk things out?”

“i guess. but the moment he starts his shit, i’m leaving kenny.” you threw your head back, letting a sigh out, “i don’t see the point but whatever.”

that brought you to this moment here. you standing in the middle of owens room, the two of you glaring at each other over a small disagreement, knowing where this was probably going to lead. you weren’t sure you should have even listened to kent at this point.

“be careful who you trust, ya know,” owen smirked, “salt and sugar look the same.”

“oh really now? you weren’t saying that when you were on top of me last night.” you grinned, the excitement of this man and his words coursing through your veins, “honestly, i don’t think you’d be able to tell the difference, mr. power.”

as much as you hated owen, there was just something so… intriguing about him.

See the full post

288 notes - Posted March 31, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[asmrtist-brainrot]

How old do you think Siren's Son Asmr characters are?

Hmm, that's sort of difficult to gauge, some of them are somewhat explained but lemme just get some ideas out.

I think of Westhaven as a University so most of the students range from 19 to maybe 24 depending on their classes and courses. But Siren himself said that it could be either a high school or a college situation as he wanted to be able to generally help a wider group of people to enjoy the scenario as a whole without feeling uncomfortable.

Personally, I think Zeke is about 20-22 and Cam actually being a year older.

Greg married and had Zeke somewhat young too so I’ll drop him at maybe 40-43.

I think Cam’s brothers are 24, 25, and 27 respectively! His dad and ma are the same age, maybe 48 or 49 - they seem to got all grown sons after all and godly genes keep them looking a lil’ younger.

We know Abul is about 20 something as well, though technically, he was supposed to be a lot older - it was fixed so the Bren storyline would make more sense. And it is confirmed that Bren is only a year or so younger than Bul so there’s that too.

Internally, for me though, considering the time and age of royalty of marrying young and them growing up together - Cal is about 18 to 19? His listener is probably the same as their father had griped about their exceedingly high standards and the amount of suitors they’ve turned away... It’s also sort of clear that he’s lowkey getting annoyed they haven’t chosen anyone yet.

It makes him the youngest of the batch of bois.

Generally though, these characters generally seem land in the same age range unless they are canonically immortal or have been confirmed as some sort of parent to adults.

Uh, thank you for allowing me to share my take on this? It’s kinda made me wanna elaborate more on what I think about the futures of those at Westhaven - so I’ll probably blab about that late.

~ Dari

[iambecomeyourvillain]

tag your moots -

1. fastest reader

2. big bren reader

3. "where is the smut?" reader

4. "angst or nothing" reader

5. "I read everything" reader

6. "too many books at once help-" reader

7. overemotional reader

8. "pretty covers only" reader

9. "fanfics my beloved" reader

10. Jared, 19

here we go

fastest reader - @wafflesandschemingfaces

big been reader - @investmentofmyheart, whatever that means

'where's the smut?' reader - Me, trust me. Me. And @julian-blackthorn-supremacy and @wolfnzy01 (tho we all want it)

angst or nothing - again, @wafflesandschemingfaces

"I read everything" reader is probably me-

"too ma books at once help" - @neilperryisalive

uhhh over emotional reader??? idk if that's a thing- also idk who this is someone claim this. wait on second thought- @matthias-is-alive this low key feels like you

"pretty covers only" reader - IDK PROBABLY ME STOP CALLING ME OUT except not pretty covers only.

"fanfics my beloved" - @neilperryisalive

jared, 19 - @blackpheonix (onLY BECAUSE I REMEMBER YOU HAVE A HABIT OF LISTENING TO AUDIO BOOKS-)

[holidaywishes]

all it takes is one time

part ten: all it takes is one time

  Summary: five years have passed and Brendan has kept his promise to “not give up on you.”

  Warning: fluff, angst, time jump

  Author’s Note: So, what I got from the poll was that everyone pretty much wants a happy ending. Which I think is great! Because of that, I’ve chosen to do a bit of a time jump so that the happy ever after seems natural. I love that people have enjoyed this series; I love writing for Gally and his smiley little face -- I mean look at him in that GIF -- so I’m always happy when people enjoy how I write him or what I write for him. This got a bit more angsty than I thought it would which is why it's a bit of a longer chapter (I wanted it to get fluffy eventually so I just kept writing until it did!) but I hope you continue to enjoy these last two chapters and thanks for reading! Stay Golden, loves! <3

Fun Fact: Grammarly calls my writing in this "confident" and "formal" so... I apologize for that. Typically, I try not to write super formally so I don't know what happened here.

  masterlist

  the other masterlist

xx

Brendan’s P.O.V

  You couldn’t count how many times you’d proposed to (Y/N) over the last five years but you knew that you were gonna keep doing it until she said yes because you wanted her. You’d always wanted her.

  “Wanna marry me?” you asked as the two of you laid in bed, groggy from just waking up

  “Sure” she groaned, making you pop your head up in surprise

  “Wait, really?” you asked

  “Someday” she smirked, tucking herself into you to cuddle a little longer

  “You’re gonna kill me” you chuckled

  “No!” she scoffed

  “Yes!” you replied, wrapping your arms tightly around her body and kissing her neck playfully

  “STOP!” she squeaked, finally pushing you away so she could get out of bed, “I love you and I would love to stay here, in bed, with you but your parents are expecting us in like an hour”

  “We have tons of time!”

  “You might but I don’t...” she laughed and you jumped out of bed, meeting her across the room

  “What are you talking about? It’s not like you have to do anything. We’re just going for lunch,” you smiled, kissing her temple as she looked in the mirror, “they love you. What’s going on?”

  “I don’t think your mom has ever really... liked me for you”

  “What? Of course she has”

  “I’ve spent close to 10 years trying to get her to see that I’m good enough for you, especially after the break up...”

  “(Y/N), you have nothing to worry about,” you assured her, turning her around, “she knows that you love me and that’s all she needs” she smiled at you, kissing you quickly before walking away

  “If you say so”

  “I do say so,” you smirked, “trust me.” When you pulled up to your parents house, you noticed (Y/N) sigh heavily and you reached out to grab her hand, “if you need me, I’m right here”

  “Okay” she smiled

  “But you won’t need me” you teased

  “Bren…” she scoffed before you threw open your door and ran up the stairs to greet your family inside.

  “(Y/N),” your mom said as your girlfriend walked through the door slowly, placing her hands on (Y/N)’s arms before embracing her in light hug. “It’s so good to see you”

  “You too” (Y/N) said, looking over your moms shoulder to you as you smiled and mouthed ‘I told you’

  “Let’s sit down and have some lunch okay?” your mom said as she pulled away from (Y/N), who nodded in return

  “See?” you smiled, kissing her forehead and wrapping your arm around her waist while you walked to the back patio, “nothing to worry about.”

xx

  Della had liked you when you first met. She thought you were sweet and that you were good for Brendan but when she found out you cheated, her opinion of you changed, as you thought it might, but Brendan seemed completely oblivious to all of it. He still believed that she loved you because you loved him; because he loved you.

  “See?” he said as he directed you to the patio outside with his family, after his mother had given you a, rather passive, hug when you first arrived. “Nothing to worry about!” you wanted to tell him that he was wrong, that he was blind to the inner workings of female interactions, but this was his mom and you weren’t there to cause drama.

  “So, (Y/N),” Della started from across the table, “what have you been up to these last five years? We still don’t get to spend too much time with Brendan except during the summer and he’s mostly stayed in Montreal with you so we haven’t got to see either of you…” you smiled to yourself, looking down at your lap as you tried to evade her tone

  “I’ve been working,” you said, looking at Brendan beside you before smiling at him, “keeping myself busy when Brendan’s at practice or at games, ma—”

  “Do you go to the games still?” Nolan asked

  “I mean, he’s gotta have at least one fan there for him” Erin laughed

  “I try,” you admitted, a blush creeping across your cheeks as you prepared to say the next words; fearing what they all might think of you. “But sometimes our schedules don’t match up and I have to watch from home…”

  “But you still make sure you always watch the game?” Della asked and you could feel the heat from her glare reach you for across the table

  “Most of the time,” you said slowly before Brendan reached out his hand to grab yours, “but there have been a few times when I’ve had to get the score from someone else because I didn’t have a second to even look at the game…”

  “Well that makes sense,” Ian added before Della could argue your answer, “stuff like that is going to happen. You can’t stop working to watch the games or else you’d get fired” you laughed, nodding in response

  “I mean,” Breanne added, “unless you quit your job”

  “Yeah,” Della said, almost giddy at the thought, “have you thought about quitting your job? I’m sure Brendan could keep you both comfortable”

  “Mom...” Brendan finally said, shaking his head at her while you took a sip of the water in front of you

  “I was joking, Mom...” Breanne said, presumably seeing your discomfort

  “But it’s a serious question, something to consider,” Della added, semi-defensively, “I don’t think that’s something to get so up in arms about”

  “Why don’t we just enjoy the weather, okay?” Ian said, diffusing the situation the best he could while Brendan followed Della inside

  “I’m sorry, Ian,” you sighed as the two of you walked toward the grass, “I didn’t mean to make things uncomfortable”

  “It’s okay” he smiled

  “I know she doesn’t trust me much anymore” you added, dropping your head as kicked your foot in the grass

  “She just loves Brendan,” he answered, “he’s the first-born, you know? It’s a special bond between them”

  “I know,” you said before the two of you stood in silence, watching Breanne, Erin and Nolan played some game you’d never really seen before; laughing at each other when one seemed to do something wrong.

  “It’s not that she doesn’t trust you,” Ian said, after a while of not speaking, forcing you to look at him suddenly, “it’s just that she watched Brendan mope around for months after the two of you broke up and then when you got into your accident, she listened to him talk about how the two of you were getting back together but to her…”

  “She didn’t believe it” you sighed, your eyes still trained on the ground as you interrupted him

  “It felt like he was putting all his faith into something that was gonna break his heart again” he continued, making you look up at him and your eyes grew wide at the thought

  “I never wanted to break his heart,” you admitted, “it’s complicated I guess but I love him. Breaking up with him felt terrible but being together, then, didn’t feel right either and I felt like I was holding him back. I let him go so he could find what he really wanted”

  “But what he really wanted was you,” Ian argued, “it was always you. He told us that all the time, you were always on his mind and in his heart”

  “I know,” you smiled thoughtfully, “he’s always felt like the one to me, too, I guess I just needed him to know that I didn’t want him to feel trapped… I don’t know how to explain it really”

  “I get it,” Ian smirked, “but do me a favour, don’t try explaining it to my wife. Because she absolutely will not understand any of it”

  “You have my word.”

xx

Brendan’s P.O.V

  “I just don’t see why she doesn’t even want to try to change her work schedule…” your mom argued as the two of you washed the dishes

  “Mom…” you whined

  “I’m serious, Brendan,” she exclaimed, “she misses your games because of work, she doesn’t make time for the two of you to see us..”

  “That’s not on her,” you interjected, “we live in Montreal, which means we can’t just pop out here to say hi”

  “But you could call” she challenged

  “Yes, you’re right,” you scoffed, “but that’s on me. Not (Y/N), so don’t turn it into her problem”

  “She doesn’t want this relationship to progress any further than what it always was…” she frowned and you shook your head

  “She does” you confessed

  “It doesn’t seem like it”

  “Because she wants to have a job? Because she doesn’t always stop everything to watch a game?” you asked

  “Because she doesn’t try. Not the way you do”

  “Mom,” you rubbed your temples, “she does try. There’s more to it than what you can see. You know, she was reluctant to come here today because she thinks that you don’t think she’s good enough for me and I had to keep telling her that wasn’t true. But it is true, isn’t it? She was right and you’ve never liked her…” you questioned, drying your hands

  “That’s not true!” your mom yelled, stopping you from leaving, “I loved her for you, I thought you two were perfect for each other and she fit so well with us but she proved time and again that she just didn’t care. She cheated, she didn’t communicate with you, she ended things because of some vague excuse that you two weren’t good together anymore and then she used you to make her better after her car accident”

  “She didn’t use me. She needed help so I offered my help,” you corrected, “because I love her and no matter what happened between us, I wasn’t going to let her be in pain" she seemed to drop the conversation after that but not without a heavy sigh before walking into the backyard to join everyone

  "Hey," you whispered to (Y/N) as you draped your arm across her shoulders, "how're you doing?"

  "I'm okay," she replied quietly, "how are you?"

  "I'm good" you smiled, hoping she wouldn't see how the conversation with your mom annoyed you

  "I didn't mean to start anything," she said with a sigh, wrapping her arms around your waist and you looked down at her as she looked up at you, "drama or whatever. I didn't mean to make things awkward..."

  "You didn't" you smiled, kissing her forehead

  "It feels like things are tense" she admitted and you shrugged, looking out at your family but still feeling (Y/N) looking up at you

  "Wanna marry me and get outta here?" you joked, hearing her scoff in return

  "No," she said, hugging you tighter, "but maybe."

xx

  It had been two weeks since you and Brendan were at his parent's place for a BBQ, two weeks since you could feel Della's hesitation of you being with her son and two weeks since Brendan last asked you to marry him. The proposals were becoming less frequent now and your mind was running wild with reasons why that might be but you hoped that he was waiting for the perfect moment. And that that perfect moment came when you were absolutely ready to say yes.

  “He used to propose every day,” you told your best friend, Rebecca, has the two of you sat on her balcony, “and now, nothing. Not a single mention of marriage”

  “If he asked you today, would you say yes?” she asked candidly

  “I don’t know” you replied

  “Maybe he knows that, finally, and he just wants to wait long enough,” she said, “you said he proposed at the barbecue and you said no, right?”

  “I mean, I guess…” you scoffed

  “So…” she smirked, “he probably feels that you’re not ready yet and he’s just tired of small proposals”

  “Small proposals?” you furrowed your brow

  “Yeah,” she said before taking a sip of her drink, “he probably wants to do something big but he wants to know you’re ready to say yes…”

  “And how would he know when I’m ready?” you chuckled

  “I have no idea,” she laughed, “maybe he’s got a checklist”

  “Oh my god, if he has a checklist,” you laughed, throwing your head back, “I swear to god, I would die”

  “You know how he is though,” she said after the two of you stopped laughing, “his first proposal was in a public place”

  “Yeah but that was so much pressure and we fought about it afterwards”

  “Yeah because you weren’t ready to say yes,” she said, “you needed to air out the reasons why...”

  “Do you think he’ll listen to them?” you questioned, raising your eyebrow at her

  “Why wouldn’t he?” she asked

  “After what happened with his mom, I think he’s starting to revert back to the idea that I should just be the ‘holly housewife’ type” you admitted

  “I don’t think that’s true”

  “I hope not...” you sighed, finishing up your water and heading inside. After realizing that you had been there for almost three hours, you decided it was probably time for you to go home, surprised to see Brendan sitting at the table when you walked into the apartment. “Bren...?” you asked hesitantly

  “Hey,” he said plainly and you couldn’t think of anything to say, he seemed very focused and you weren’t sure why. It made you nervous, “so, I... don’t know where to start...”

  “What’s wrong?” you finally asked, setting down your bag and pulling out a chair to sit beside him

  “I don’t want you to feel like you have to marry me,” he admitted and you shook your head in confusion, “or that if we get married, you’ll lose yourself”

  “I--”

  “I don’t want my mom to feel like you’re not good for me for whatever reason,” he admitted, stopping you from interrupting him, still not looking at you. Oh god, you thought to yourself, he’s gonna break up with me, “and I don’t want you to be mad at my mom because you resent her for whatever reason”

  “Bren--” you started but he stopped you, his eyes finally looking into yours

  “I love you,” he confessed, “and I realize now, though I should’ve realized before, that you don’t want some grand gesture of a proposal. Maybe because you don’t like all the attention or maybe because it feels like too much pressure. Whatever it is, it’s not what you want. I should’ve known that. I should’ve paid attention to that” you took a breath as you listened to his words, not really knowing where this was going. “But here’s the thing,” he said, holding your hands in his while his eyes danced between yours, “I told you I wasn’t giving up. And all it takes is once. One time. One proposal for you to say yes to and then, what do ya know? we’re engaged. So, I won’t give up because I love you and if you keep saying no, eventually I’ll take the hint, but I’m gonna ask you right now. Right here. Like this. Because I love you and I want to marry you, Do you want to marry me?”

  “Yes,” you whispered without thinking about it; everything he said just took away any fears that you had and you couldn’t think of your life without him. “Yes,” you repeated, feeling a tear fall down your cheek before giggling happily, “yes, I will marry you”

  “Wait really?” he said, the shock in his face making you laugh

  “Yes, baby” you said softly, placing your hand on his cheek

  “Like really really?”

  “Really really” you smiled before leaning in and pressing a kiss to your lips, feeling a tear graze your cheek as it feel down his

  “God, I love you,” he scoffed when he pulled away as if he was catching your breath, “but I am exhausted”

  “I know, I’m sorry” you laughed

  “You’re serious right?” he asked again and you smiled brightly, squeezing his hands tightly

  “YES! Brendan, baby, I’m serious”

  “I just needed to check” he smirked

  “I love you,” you cooed, “and I can’t imagine marrying anyone else, being with anybody else”

  “Fucking finally” he sighed and you laughed

  “I won’t sacrifice myself for your job though” you insisted

  “I wouldn’t dream of it” he smirked, capturing you in a kiss before picking you up and taking you to the bedroom, slamming the door shut behind him and throwing you on the bed. 

[fiveisnumber1]

Bren: [using his whip to snap a criminal's neck] Kenny did you steal my tie?

Kenny: [punching someone out] I look hella fine in it!

Dean: [shooting another bad guy] I dunno it looks kind of tacky.

Addison: [gripping someone in a chokehold] I helped him pick that tie out!

Lucas: [breaking someone's femur] I think Bren looks fine with it.

Viktoria: [blasting her music] Kenny looks fine what are you all talking about?

Reader: [making several guys float] They both look fine. But I know that Kenny probably stole the your from your dresser Bren.

Diego: [being held with the rest of the Hargreeves] Uh guys? We're kinda being held hostage here!

Dean: Not now Diego we're discussing Bren's tie!

Five: [Still tied up] You look beautiful ma chérie

Reader: Aw thank you!

Big Bad Evil Guy: [Having his brain slowly melted] Please put me out of my misery...

Reader: [Turning to BBEG] God, be patient. I’m talking to my boyfriend.

Reader: [Turning back to Five] Anyway, you are so sweet mon amour.

Big Bad Evil Guy: One of you...please end me.

Reader: [Turning to BBEG again] STOP BEING RUDE. YOU’LL DIE WHEN YOU DIE.

Five: [awestruck] I am so in love with her.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(also my only criticism is that during fights the seven of them would refer to each other by their nicknames or numbers rather than real names so they can keep their identities hidden better. Other than that, what you put is extremely accurate of what would probably occur.)

[doomlover21]

Widojest Week Day 5

With all the Caleb angst and panic from last night's episode it's kind of fitting that my fic for only one bed is full of Caleb angst. And no I didn't write this after the episode or during it last night. It was just a coincidence. Anyways enjoy Ruminations of a Broken Heart!

Ruminations of a Broken Heart

He wasn’t sure exactly how he had ended up like this. Sure he could remember everything that happened that day, but he still couldn’t wrap his mind around it. So maybe why he ended up like this was a better thing for him to question. Why out of all of the Nein she had chosen him.

He looked down at her sleeping peacefully beside him. Her hands were resting delicately on his chest, and her head had been resting under his chin. Had been until he had moved to contemplate his current situation.

His heart beat erratically as a thousand and one happy thoughts ran their course through him. His body was begging him to gather her up in his arms and to rest his head on hers and breathe in her scent. His hands were begging to lay on her back and rub unconscious circles up and down her. But his mind would never allow any of this, and he put it out of his mind.

His mind knew that he didn’t deserve a moment of it, and was desperately searching for a reason for it. A reason as to why she had chosen to share the last remaining bed with him. They had all had to share beds. There was no choice in the matter. The small inn they were staying at only had three rooms left, one larger one that had two double beds, and two smaller ones. Only one of those smaller beds had been a twin-sized bed which Nott was currently sharing with her husband, Yeza.

So they had paired off. Nott with Yeza, and Beau wouldn’t let Yasha out of her sight so asking her to sleep with Jester had been pointless. When Jester had put a delicately manicured fingernail and ran it nervously up his arm and asked him to share the other room instead of asking her crush, he had been stunned. Still was in fact. He had never imagined that she would choose him first. He reasoned that perhaps her and Fjord had had a fight. That must have been the reason.

‘But then why did she snuggle up so close to you last night? And why did her face fall when you failed to put your arms around her initially? And why then had she smiled and leapt for joy when your arm slowly, reluctantly snaked its way around her afterwards? Why had she been so put off at your suggestion to sleep on the floor instead?’ his keen mind questioned. He had indeed suggested to sleep on the floor and relinquish the bed to her to keep his body from getting any ideas and to keep the most hidden part of himself satisfied. The hidden part that wanted nothing more than to remind himself that he deserved nothing less than punishment, pain and torture if not worse for all his past deeds.

But she had vehemently denied that inner voice. She had grabbed hold of him rather forcefully and pulled him to his feet as he was bending down to sit.

“Oh no you’re not!” she had told him. He had been powerless in her grasp as she led him to the bed and pushed him onto it. But he was often powerless before her. It came as no surprise to any of the party that he was no match for her physically. Anyone with eyes to see could see that just by looking at the two of them.

But it wasn’t just her physical strength that he was powerless to stop. He often found himself powerless to resist her. To resist her pranks, her cries for help, her smile, her laughter, her drawings, her always brightly colored nails, her lilting voice that always sounded like bird song to his ears. He was powerless to resist all of her.

He sighed. His body knew how it felt about her. His heart knew how much it longed to be with her. But his brain, his cursed ever whirring brain couldn’t see it. And oftentimes it was that part of him that won out.

It should be so easy for him to rest easy in her arms. To wrap his own frail arms around her form and hold her tight on the pretense that he was cold. It should be easy to gently place a kiss on her forehead and rest his head on hers and fall back into an easy sleep just holding onto her. It should be, but it wasn’t. It never was with her.

It was complicated, he reasoned. She doesn’t know the kind of man I am, he often told himself. Doesn’t realize how horrific I am, his inner turmoil told him. She’ll never understand, the voice taunted.

But yet, another much more hopeful voice said. She had chosen you, it told him. She had chosen you when she could have easily have picked her well known crush, it reminded. You were her first choice, it told him again. Maybe you were always her first choice, the hopeful voice told him.

It was always at the line of thought that his heart would give a happy little skip, that his whole body would react with love and joy. But the moment wouldn’t last long. It never did. His mind was far too sharp for that, and it would clamp down on his happy thoughts. Slam the door shut on them, and remind him of much darker times.

Do you remember what you did?, he tumultous voice would always return with. Do you remember their screams?, it would say. Do you remember the flames?, it would go on. Do you remember their faces?, it would remind him. You did that, Bren, it would taunt. You murdered them, it would always scold. And no one could ever love a murderer, the voice would tell him, and his hope would all but disappear. She could never love you, it would end with softly.

He frowned. It was near constantly on his face. The darkest part of him was almost always the cause of it.

But yet…He looked at Jester again. Looked at her hands on his chest. Looked at her head resting so close to his chin. Looked at her breathing so soundly. A smile came to his face.

She could always do that to him. She could always coax a smile out of him. She was doing the impossible. Casting her own breed of hopeful magic to combat his darkest thoughts. And it was working. Gods it was working, and he could almost believe that he was worth the effort. That maybe she was right, and he wasn’t as bad as he was making himself out to be.

But the voice always returned. The dark thoughts always came back. Sometimes they were very hard to ignore. Other times he could not escape their murky depths, and he could feel himself slipping further and further back into himself. Back into the depths of madness he had been trapped in for so many years.

But she would always bring him back out. She would have an encouraging word. Or a mischievous prank. Or she would tell a joke and it would scare a chuckle or a snicker or gods above an actual laugh out from the depths of his soul. She was his light in the ever present darkness, and that was oftentimes enough to tear him away from it. To pull him further and further from its grip.

But no matter what happened it would always pull him back. It was happening more often lately. As his past slowly taunts him with images of her precious, delightful, innocent mother being stalked and captured and oh so many unpleasant thoughts. Unpleasant things. Oh gods could his mind cook up soooo many unpleasant things. Many unpleasant things that he himself had done when he was a much younger man, and his imagination could come up with thousands more. Each more torturous and painful than the last.

But then she’d smile or laugh. And for the time his thoughts would still. And his heart would leap. And hope would fill him.

But then he would think of Fjord. Of her crush on him. Of how she was so vocal about her love for him. How she had even came to him asking for advice regarding him. He would think of how he was starting to flirt back, and how little his murderous self deserved her happiness.

Jealousy would roar through him, but his darkest thoughts would tell him again, you don’t deserve her. You don’t deserve happiness, it would say. You don’t deserve to be loved, it would taunt. Who would love a murderer?, it would remind him. And then oftentimes his thoughts would run torturous circles for a while around this thought. She doesn’t love you, it would end with, and his heart would break a little more.

But then there would be another smile she’d send his way. Or another joke that would push the sides of his lips upward into a smile or a laugh. And his heart would soar, and he would allow himself to be caught up in the joy of it all.

His fingers unconsciously traced along her arms. Despite his misgivings, his keen mind wanted to take in every detail so that he could replay it later. He was sure that he would replay it several times over, his mind and body wrestling for control of his thoughts as always.

She stirred then, and he tried to jerk his hand away but for once his body wouldn’t obey. She curled into him more and snaked her arms around his neck. A moan of content shook through her and another smile tugged at his lips.

She was moaning at him. Moaning in his, well maybe not in his arms, but it was pretty close. All he would need to do was drape his other arm over her. It was so easy. It wouldn’t even be much of an effort, but it would change everything.

His body didn’t care. His body already knew what it desired, and what it desired was the woman pressed against him. His mind was the one he would need to convince, and it would take a lot of convincing.

She wouldn’t stay like this forever. He knew that she could be very impatient. And he was very patient. The two were opposites in so many ways like that. But wasn’t it said that opposites attract?

She was loud and boisterous. He was soft and shy. She was naïve and young. He was intellegent and much older. She loved being the center of attention. He avoided attention like the plague.

And yet, he was still drawn to her. He could only hope that she was as drawn to him. He could hope that he had shown her that she didn’t need to hide her feelings from him and that she could always rely on him. He may not’ve been strong in any physical sense of the word, but his magical power was very strong and only growing stronger. At the very least he could use that magic to protect her. Hadn’t he proved that to her against the rok, and the orcs chasing them, and the laughing hand?

But Fjord had proved to be a better protector than him so far, hadn’t he? He was physically much stronger, and he had easily protected Jester several times already. He had even saved her life more than once. And he didn’t need to always constantly be protected and saved himself.

He would be a much better choice for her as a mate. He was strong and handsome and he was not a broken mess. And most of all she already cared about him, and he seemed to care about her. It was perfect. It was how it should be.

So why did it hurt his heart so much? Why did it hurt to think about? And why did he feel a twinge of betrayal and jealousy towards the pair?

He couldn’t help looking at her one more time. Why couldn’t things work out for him? Why did everything always seem to go wrong for him? He had everything. Everything was suppose to go right for him. He was suppose to become a powerful tool for the Empire. He fucked that all to hell, though. He knew that just as sure as he knew how to cast his dancing lights.

He could hope that everything would turn around and work out for the best. He could continue to hold out waiting for his heart and his mind to get on the same page. He could continue pining for the girl beside him without it going any further. Or….

Or he could stop hoping and start doing. He could wrap his arms around her and hold her tight. He could allow her to rest her head against his chest and lay his own head on top of hers. He could kiss her on the forehead and then trail kisses down her face. He would pause there at her plump lips and blow at her lips teasingly before going in for the kill and kissing her with everything he was.

He could do all that, but would he? Would he allow himself to succum to his innermost desires? Would he allow himself to feel with his whole body what his heart already did? Would he allow himself to fall before her and allow his darkness to taint her light? The smile that forced its way up his lips said yes, but his mind still tormented him with its refusal.

For once in his life, he ignored the pull of his intellect. He sighed heavily as he shifted his body and draped his arm over the sleeping girl beside him. He laid his head down and placed a kiss on her forehead before resting his head on hers.

This felt so right, her in his arms that it caused him pain. He needed her, and she had no idea how much he did. How much she caused him such pain whenever she smiled at him or made him laugh. Or how watching her with Fjord caused him pain every single time. How much he longed for her to react to him in the same fashion. She had no idea. But she could know if only he had the courage to tell her.

She sighed in contentment as she snuggled in closer. His body reacted immediately and held her tighter. He kissed her head again, and rubbed her back and arms. His mind might not be able to admit it, but his body was certainly going to have its way while it could.

‘Ich lieben dich,’ he thought to her instead. He might not be able to admit it aloud, but he could certainly admit it to himself. He was smitten. Had fallen hard for the tiefling, and he wasn’t about to give her up just yet. He was too selfish for that. And there might be hope for him yet. He could certainly dream that there was, and his body could be satisfied with that for now.

[thisismyroaring20s]

My track-by-track review of Pray for the Wicked (spoilers)

and by review I mean literally just my stream of consciousness while listening to the songs ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ If that interests you feel free to read on. (Update: the ratings are based on other Panic songs, not just songs in general)

1. (Fuck A) Silver Lining

I think this was the first song I listened to off of the new album, loved it then, still love it now "Out of the old, and into the new, we dedicate, this song to you" GREAT INTRO TO AN ALBUM, felt very We're So Starving-esque, except instead of 'don't worry we're still the same' it's 'we're different but it's fine' (you know what maybe it's more 'swear to shake it up if you swear to listen') and then you get slammed with FUCK A. SILVER LINING. heck yes fuck it up Bren. I like how he's like 'silver isn't good enough, we aiming higher dammit' Shoutout to 'Yonce. The bleep part at like 2:07 reminds me of the radio edit of Raise Your Glass by P!nk. This song is just a little too repetitive for me tbh 5/10

2. Say Amen (Saturday Night)

Does anyone know wtf the intro is saying? What language is that? Is it a language or is it gibberish? Someone help. I hear "ah-deh-jah". Chorus makes me wanna smash stuff, but that may be because of the mv. Again, what are these words? "mah-key-key-yeah" I need answers. Vocals are amazing, obvi. I like this song a lot, and it's my boyfriend's fav as of rn. Saturday, SATurday, SATURDAYEEEEE. YES. incredible tbh. 9/10

3. Hey Look Ma, I Made It

Wasn't sold on the intro at first, sounded boring compared to the others. "i'm a hooker selling songs and my pimps a record label" I love it, great line, was the first thing that I liked about this song. I really like the sound of the pre-chorus. "IF YOU LOSE BOO HOO, HEY LOOK MA I MADE IT" 😂😂😂 I screeched honestly. Chorus is super fun. "if it’s a dream, don't wake me" reminded me of Stay Frosty (shoutout to FOB, love ya 😘) "see it, I want it, I take it" reminded me of two things: 1. Emperor's New Clothes, lbr, "see what's mine and take it" and 2. Fireball by Pitbull "I came, I saw, I conquered or should I say I saw, I conquered, I came" IDK WHY DON'T ASK i hate myself for thinking of that too lmao. I really like the way the song ends, idk why, just sounds cool. As for the music video, honestly wtf. It just reminded me of glee and Ed Sheeran. lmao. I loved it though. Anyways, great song, fun as all get out 8.5/10

4. High Hopes

Yes that brass! 🎺 "didn't have a dime but I always had a vision" "I was gonna be that one in a million" A++ lines. I also live-tweeted/tumbld this song when it was released.

And I did this:

and Panic retweeted me nbd. Honestly I love this song sm, and I relate to it a lot because people are always like "you're never gonna make it (and I'm like "I don't wanna make it. I just. wanna. *guitar riff*" jk lmao) but my mom is like my biggest fan and believes in me a lot and I love her a lot. And I always feel like I do have high hopes for everything, and it doesn't always work out but like... you gotta try for what you want in life. And you gotta be you unapologetically. Okay, sappy time over. The stripped back part that starts at like 2:20 with just his vocals and the background vocals. I've ascended, that part is amazing and then the drums kick in and you feel it building 😍 YES. 9.5/10

5. Roaring 20s

Holy shit I love this song so much. Perfect anthem for the summer I turn 21. The sound of the band at first and then the piano joins in?! Hell yes. "the oddest of summers" would you say it's.. pretty odd?👀👀 lmao I'll see myself out. The line "maybe I'll medicate, maybe inebriate" really stuck with me for some reason, like I like it, but it also kinda concerns me. "Maybe I'll smile a bit, maybe the opposite" I just really like the way this sounds. "My telltale heart's a hammer in my chest" ya girl's an english major and we just studied this last semester, love it. ROLL ME LIKE A BLUNT CAUSE I WANNA GO HOME lmao. Super peppy, makes me wanna dance kinda chorus. "Oscars and Emmys and Grammys, everyone here is a trophy" honestly? Tea ☕. "Hallucinations only mean that your brain is on fire" I just like this line and wanted to point it out ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ The slowed down chorus is incredible, This. Is. My. ROARING. Roaring 20s. Can you tell this is one of my absolute favs on the album? Incredible. 10/10 👏👏👏

6. Dancing's Not a Crime

Started strong. Could tell from the first second this was gonna be catchy af. Shoutout to MJ, amirite? Lots of rhyming. Marauders. Harry Potter. "Dancing's not a crime unless you do it without me" adorable omg Bren ily. "Don't be throwin shade now"

Lmao, no but really, got a little repetitive tbh but adorable anyway. Honestly don't have much to say about this song, it was okay 4/10

7. One of the Drunks

Love the beginning. "orange juice" reminded me of 400 Lux by Lorde and I started laughing. I love the way he pronounces words in this song (esp "times" and "remedy") 😍 "Damn it's all good... I guess" relatable af. "high as the sun, uncomfortably numb" I just like this. The speaking at the end omgggg 😂😂"I SAW YOU FUCKIN LIFT THAT SAX UP TOWARD THE MICROPHONE! AND I FELL IN LOVE" i cried 😂 8/10

8. The Overpass

Um??...yes 😍 that big band opening? hell yea. "sorry to get sentimental tonight" but sentimental boy is his nomme de plume tho. "Someone still loves you" 👀 The song is super fkn catchy, i love it. "sketchy girls and lipstick boys" upgrade from testosterone boys and harlequin girls or nah? I think nah. The mere mention of perfume by panic will always make me think of nearly witches, sorry not sorry ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ THIS SLOW PART IS AMAZING I’M IN LOVE. "down to your blood type" a lil creepy but okay Bren cute. 9/10

9. King of the Clouds

Starts kinda abruptly tbh, but I like it. interesting lyrically imo, and I really like the emphasis he puts on parts of words. music is stellar. lyric video looks really cool w/the song. (Side note: Does anyone know what the symbols in the video that aren't hieroglyphics are? I wanna know, hmu if you know.) Not too crazy about the fast-forward-y high pitched part at about a minute in, it was a choice. "some only live to die, I'm alive to fly high-er than angels in outfields, inside of my mind" I love this line a lot tbh "I'm lost but I better find it alone" made me real sad bruh please you don't gotta be alone 😭 7/10

10. Old Fashioned

Very, very beginning, like first 5 seconds, gave me like Right Where You Want Me/Beautiful Soul era Jesse McCartney vibes. And then the intro went into cellphone/car commercial territory. Then the vocals started and it felt less commercial-y. Love the beat, it's real fun. Verse vocals felt like they didn't quite fit with the music. "seventeen's so gone" "remember your youth...they were the best of times" i'm cryign 😭. "always tip your bartenders" "get boozy" just made me laugh and the rest of the song made me sad. I live for parts of songs when like a chorus of people sing a line together, like gives you hell and the last chorus of this (esp the "pour out some liquor, make it an old-fashioned") #fuckmeup. The very end felt like it should have gone into a peppier iteration of the chorus, felt like it shouldn't have ended there. 7/10

11. Dying in LA

So pretty at the start. VOCALS OMG. "Stars are on the ground" walk of fame? "Every face along the boulevard is a dreamer just like you" I WALK THIS LONELY ROAD. "when ya DYin in la" 😂 Is this just a continuation of LA Devotee? Is this what happens to LA Devotees? Wow the instruments in this song are so pretty. I wouldn't say it fades into WTDMTN like someone said, but it definitely sounds similar, it's just the choice of instruments. That was such a beautiful song. ❤️❤️❤️ Wow. 9/10 

[lumen-tellus]

ive been kinda thinking on how a few of my (chinese) ocs refer to family members since even something as small as that really feels important to nail down to me riporoorie

considering how and what ive written so far, Ange and May refer to their parents Evan and Philia as Papa and Mama in private and internally, but will usually say Father and Mother in public. Sylvia has a different dynamic with Ange and Alastor though since she uses Mommy and Daddy (though when she’s older she exclusively uses Mother and Father everywhere). 

kinda similarly, she calls May ‘Auntie May’ and Brennan as ‘Uncle Brennan’ (or Uncle Bren for when thats too much a mouthful) and other family acquaintances with a respective Aunt ____ or Uncle ____. however, Sylvia only uses ‘Auntie May’ in a public setting and otherwise uses Aiye (informal version for maternal aunt) when referring to her around family. which when i think about it is.............. ok, but weird considering this treatment only happens with May, and also that ive gotten Sylvia to use the more western (to me) Mommy and Daddy from the get-a-go when neither Ange or May use those and Sylvia has technically had more exposure to her aunt and mom than her dad while growing up rip

its something that can be handwaved tbh, its not that significant, but my brain likes BORING STRAIGHT LOGICCCCCCCCCC so ive spent a lot of on-off time just trying rationalize this somehow............ lol

what ive figured so far is that the Mommy and Daddy thing is a mixture of early environment encouragement (i.e a lot of kids cartoons and books and people using it) and Sylvia just leaning towards those words in particular, probably because her first words for referring to Ange and Al just happened to sound similarly like mom and dad over ma and pa so thats just how it was rip. (also like, i guess, when i think about it, my dad refers to his mom as ‘mummy’ while my mom uses ‘mama’ and i spent more time with my dad as a kid i think but ended up referring to my parents as mama and papa so like?????)

as for the thing with May, im gonna go with some lame ass excuse that May helped in raising Sylvia so ofc May is gonna teach her niece how to respectfully refer to the family members around her from a young age. Brennan, on the other hand, isn’t anywhere in the picture until years later, so Sylvia wouldnt immediately know the right title to use and mentally assign to Brennan in her head. (tho im sure May or Ange eventually did tell her, it’s just that ‘Uncle’ is now the primary default for Brennan lol.) additional excuses include an intimacy factor and also that May’s Chinese and Brennan’s Korean so automatic lmao i guess

furthermore details - 

ALL family acquaintances get an aunt or uncle prefix regardless of who they are because its respectful and showcases theyre the Wise Elders from Sylvia’s perspective ww

(except ko-ko. Sylvia probs has to use their name plain even if a part of her is screaming thats not mannerful enough rip)

and now.................... carrot boi Aidan. NOW, from what ive written, im p sure Sylvia has so far called Aidan as plain ol’ Aidan with no titles attached anywhere........... which can be easily justified like how it is with Brennan (aka met belatedly, no title assigned internally, and Aidan was raised with a whole other culture so rip using chinese diminutives for him anyway riporooooo)

but i swear a small part of me wants to write some dumb small thing where Aidan (and Brennan, for extra funsiessssss) get called by some alternative respectful title or something just because im an idiot like that. if i use my own personal background, Sylvia would call Aidan ‘Koko’ (no really thats just how the hakka pronunciation is) and Brennan would be...................... idk, Apak?? i honestly dont remember the title for either younger or older brother on father’s side so idr if thats the right one akjsakjasjk. (some Google Magic tho says that its probs ‘Shukshe’ which is ridiculously funny to me for some reason)

[nightbringer24]

Leaflet  3274/HPWS/29, created the Malayan branch of the Information Research Department (IRD) during the Malayan Emergency as part of the psyops campaign against the Malayan Communist Party.

Text in Chinese reads:

TO COMRADES OF THE 13th AND 15th INDEPENDENT DIVISION

Chong Long Heng is your communication officer. He was shot dead by security forces on 31 March 1954. Don't you feel strange about the fact that so many lower ranking comrades are shot dead, while higher ranking comrades attempt to save their own lives? Please refer to the following facts:

These lower ranking comrades are dead:

Ah Tim Party Member 31 Oct 1951 Shot dead

Chee Kong Party Member 31 Oct 1951 Shot dead

Xiao Ping Party Member Jan 1952 Shot dead

Meng Fei Party Member 28 Mar 1952 Shot dead

Lau Cai Party Member 28 Mar 1952 Shot dead

Kuan Yew Combatant 17 Jul 1952 Shot dead

Kuan Seng Combatant 17 Jul 1952 Shot dead

Ah Chan Min Yuen Personnel 19 Jul 1952 Shot dead

Ah Zhong Combatant 18 Jun 1952 Shot dead

Weng Wah Combatant 18 Jun 1952 Shot dead

Ah Soon Combatant 18 Sep 1952 Shot dead

Choo Zai Combatant 18 Sep 1952 Shot dead

Ah Kee New Comrade 24 Oct 1953 Shot dead

Cheng Sin Di Combatant 28 Mar 1953 Shot dead

Chong Kee Huat Combatant 23 Mar 1953 Shot dead

Chong Long Heng Communication Officer 31 Mar 1953 Shot dead

Lee Ngao Combatant22 Apr 1954 Shot dead

Chan See Chuen Combatant 22 Apr 1954 Shot dead

Comrades: Many are dead. Only a few managed to save themselves

These higher ranking leaders are still alive:

Chong Mun State Committee  

Chen Keng Yew Area Committee  

Lau Fong Area Committee  

Chan Kong Area Committee  

Chow Cai Area Committee  

Yen Kian Area Committee  

Kit Ning Branch Committee  

Lee Yan Branch Committee  

Ma Chee Wah Branch Committee  

Lau Kiu Branch Committee  

Ah Lai Branch Committee  

These Leaders are dead:

Liao Ho Branch Committee 5 Jan 1953 Shot dead

Ah Yen Branch Committee 24 Oct 1953 Shot dead

Zhong Yun Area Committee Oct 1953 Shot dead

Lee Siang Area Committee 24 Oct 1953 Shot dead

Siao Niu Team Leader 22 Apr 1954 Shot dead

Leaders: Many managed to save themselves, only a few are dead.

Even though you all manage to survive, but your life is unnecessarily slipping away. You all are getting older - before you all get old, how much time do you think you'll have for a stable life? If you all wish to start a new life, you can leave the jungle any time.

Reward: If you bring out a Bren gun, you will be received a reward of $1,000. If you bring out five other comrades, you will receive a reward of $2,500. Exceeding five, you can get an additional $500 reward for each comrade. If you are a communications officer and you bring out documents you will get a reward. If you have any information on operations that help to capture guerrillas or particularly that lead to the elimination of a leader, you will definitely receive a large reward.

BETTER OPPORTUNITIES LIE OUTSIDE THE JUNGLE!!

[endofgreenofficial]

More details about To The Extinction

Epilogue

The epilogue of To The Extinction, shows the United States and its allies had restored the diplomatic relations with Yugoslavia in January 2001, after the overthrow of the 57-year authoritarian regime over the country. Two remaining countries, Serbia and Montenegro, had voted to gain independence in 2004 and 2006, bringing the end of Yugoslavian era. The allied military victories in Croatia and Bosnia had causing the withdrawals of the Yugoslav Army and its allies in 1994 and 1995, although the Russian support to Yugoslavia had ceased in November 1993, during the mass destruction of the Project Endurance by the allied forces. In Good Friday 1998, Britain and Ireland signed a peace treaty with the high ranking IRA officials in the city of Belfast in the Northern Ireland, bringing the end of three decades of armed conflict. After the war in Kosovo ended, Peter Hayes now lives with Miles Keller in his new home in Brooklyn, but Alice Brennan presently lives with Megan Perez in Montauk. Sam Joyce now lives with her friends Lucy Keller and Hannah Hughes in the former home of Miles Keller in Highgate (London). In 2001, Peter Hayes alongside Alice Brennan and Miles Keller was invited to the US Capitol to send a message about the end of war in Yugoslavia, but also the British parliament helped Miles Keller and Sam Joyce to sent the statement about the end of the wars in Yugoslavia and in the Northern Ireland. The UN General Assembly also invited Peter Hayes, Alice Brennan, Sam Joyce and Miles Keller to sent a statement about the end of wars of Yugoslavia and the Northern Ireland, the demise of the Project Endurance and the defeat of the Legion Horde. Peter Hayes and Alice Brennan now works with the CIA in their lifetime, but Miles Keller is now serving with the US Army in the wars of Afghanistan and Iraq.

It had a four story driven DLCs, and additional downloadable content:

The Return of the General DLC, the plot shows both Peter and Miles were sent back into the action in Albania and Kosovo during 1997 through 1999 respectively. The mission was sent by the CIA, to take a final battle between with the General of the Yugoslav army. (released on 8 June 2018)

In a Conversation with Miles Keller DLC, the plot revolves the life of Miles Keller before and joining the CIA, as he uncovers the identity of a man who recruited him to the CIA named Tommy, otherwise known as The Negotiator. Actor Daniel Turok said he was already done with his voice work for this DLC before the game's release on 16 January 2018. (released on 2 February 2018)

The Trials of Phillip Joyce DLC, shows the life of Phillip Joyce while joining the MI6 as a 9 year old boy in 1981. The main protagonist of this DLC named Phillip Joyce, while he started working as an undercover MI6 agent alongside his sister Sam Joyce and his friend David Bernard. The missions will took place in Angola, South Africa, Ethiopia, Grenada, Falklands, Nicaragua, Guatemala, El Salvador, and Panama. (released on 6 April 2018)

The final part was proved to be The Rise and Fall of the Project Endurance DLC, shows the origins of the Project Endurance, an infamous military operation and a scientific project jointly between the Soviet Union and Yugoslavia. (yet to be released on 10 July 2018)

Foreign Affairs pack; shows the player character is tasked by either CIA or MI6, to take their part on their surveillance mission and interviews around the war torn countries.

Espionage and Undercover pack; contains all espionage and undercover agent outfits, weapons and vehicles.

Sabotage pack; includes the Sabotage mission, outfits, and weapons.

Serviceman pack; includes all weapons and uniforms of the US Army and British Army.

Square Enix and Annapurna Interactive decided to release the complete edition of To The Extinction - Renegade Edition in August 2018, and it will bundled all DLCs and downloadable content, alongside the VR version of that video game, and three other indie games The Upgrade, TAU and The Endless. The PC version will be 90 GB of free space.

Character summaries:

Michael Peter "Pete" Hayes (born 1975), a young man who now works in the CIA. The son of two former astronauts Peter and Evelyn Hayes, Peter Hayes was the central protagonist of the story, but he shared his memories with his adopted cousin Miles Keller, because he was attacked by an unknown extraterrestrial invaders as a child. While he was mutated by the aliens at the age of 3, Peter Hayes was the only two main characters who had a superpowers, alongside his friend, then-adopted cousin Miles Keller (Miles was mutated by the aliens at his 1st birthday in 1982). He usually wears his eyeglasses since the age of 3, while he left blind after being mutated by an unknown extraterrestrial invaders, known as the Legion Horde. In 1986, his parents were killed while they're failed to rescuing more of its astronauts kidnapped by the unknown extraterrestrial forces, leaving Peter Hayes orphaned and he eventually lived in Montauk, a small coastal town located in the eastern tip of Long Island in New York. He is played by Joseph Andrew Mederos (aka joewoahy). Roberto Cano officially cast in the role during June 2016, but Joseph Mederos replaced him by July 2016.

Alice Brennan (born 1976), a young woman from Long Island who had worked with her partner Peter Hayes, while now serving with the CIA during the year 1997. Alice was one of the main protagonists of the story, alongside Peter, Sam and Miles. She has a short brown hair and she usually likes her other friends such as Miles Keller. Elisabeth "Eli" Grayson plays the role of Alice Brennan.

Miles Andrew Keller (born 1981), an estranged young boy who dislikes many bad people and extraterrstrial aliens. Although he was not only the youngest main protagonist of the story, Miles Keller was one of the main protagonists of the story alongside Peter Hayes, Alice Brennan, Sam Joyce and David Bernard. Alongside Peter Hayes, Miles Keller was the only two main characters who have a superpowers, after being mutated by an extraterrestrial invaders, known as the Legion Horde. His main abilities, was killing many people and the Legion Horde, and also rebuilding the broken objects like Peter Hayes himself. His father (Richard Keller) was the US Army serviceman turned astronaut, while his mother (Anna Keller) was a CIA operative in London, both were born and raised in the Williamsburg neighborhood of Brooklyn (New York). A Hasidic Jew, Miles Keller was recruited by the CIA during early 1989, but he was only 8 years old while he joined the CIA in RAF Mildenhall. As an agent and operative, Miles Keller was dropped out of Highgate School because he was forced to joining with the CIA, while he was greeted by a man named Tommy, otherwise known as The Negotiator. He had a straight and short hair, but he usually had a blue highlights after his 8th birthday. Miles had a talking robot named R8M1-7625 (Raymond), who assisted him to prevent dying from the battle, and he had a twin brother named Byron Keller, who also helped him against a group of armed men whom he hates. He had a braces on his entire teeth and he usually wears an eyeglasses since the age of 4, because he was left blind after an armed attacks around his home in Highgate. At the age of 6, Miles Keller was being rescued by Chris Hughes after he was attacked in an armed assault in Hampstead Heath, while his parents were disappeared after an air support attacked the unknown extraterrestrial invaders, leaving Miles Keller orphaned with his adopted sister Lucy (she was four years older than Miles). At the age of 8, Miles Keller witnessed the death of his parents beyond the outerspace, while rescuing more of its astronauts being pursued by an unknown extraterrestrial forces. Miles Keller's favourite sport was rugby, but his favourite hobby was skateboarding and playing some video games, but his favourite was Robotron 2084. Daniel Turok plays the role of Miles Keller, but Julian Daniel played Miles Keller as an adult.

Samantha "Sam" Joyce (born 1977), a young girl from Surrey, whom her brother Phillip works with the MI6. She was one of the main protagonists alongside her friends Peter, Alice and Miles. She had a burns on her left eye and she usually wears an eyepatch, because she was burned on her left eye by a group of armed thugs. Her older brother Phillip (born 1972), primarilly works with the MI6 from 1981 until his death in 1995 during the battle of Sarajevo. Elizabeth "Emmie" Ragan plays Sam Joyce.

Chris Hughes (born 1975 and died in 1995), a young MI6 agent who helps Miles Keller to sent the rescue mission of his friends Peter Hayes and Luke in captivity during the war in Yugoslavia. His brother Ray Hughes (born 1978), was not working with the MI6, because he was "a kind of outsider working with the travelling mercenaries" and his sister Hannah (born 1976) had worked inside RAF Mildenhall as the nurse serving with the British Army. He died during the Boxing Day 1995, while he sets the C4 bomb on fire with a blowtorch. Chris Hughes was the only main character in the story to commit suicide. Max Ragan plays the role of Chris Hughes.

David Bernard (born 1971 and died in 1995), the son of the US Marine Corps serviceman and the US Navy Medical Corps recruit in Vietnam, David is the oldest main protagonist of the entire story. He was burned to death alongside Phillip Joyce while the T-72 tank mounted with a flamethrower. Miles Somerville plays the role of David Bernard.

List of weapons, aircraft and vehicles in To The Extinction:

Weapons: M16, AK-47, AKM, AK-74, FN FAL, H&K G3, M60 MG, M249, M240, FN MAG, FN Minimi, Bren, Rheinmetall MG3, Madsen machine gun, DP-28, PKM, SKS Simonov, M1 Garand, M1 Carbine, Springfield M1903, M1917 Enfield, Mosin Nagant, SVT-40, PPSh-41, PPS-43, MP5, Sterling SMG, M3 Grease Gun, M1928 Thompson, M14 rifle, L1A1/L2A1, Uzi, IMI Galil, MAS-49, Valmet Rk 62/M76, Vektor R4, Vektor SS-77, SA80, Steyr AUG, Barrett M82, Lee Enfield, M1 Garand, Dragunov SVD, MAC-11, Stechkin APS, M1911, Tokarev TT, Makarov PM, Beretta 92, Browning Hi-Power, Glock, Winchester Model 1897, Remington 870, SPAS-12, KS-23, compound bows, crossbows and many more...

Heavy weapons: M1919 Browning, KPV, ZPU, M2 Browning, DShK, PTRD, PTRS-41, RPG-7, Armsel Striker, Milkor MGL, M79 Blooper, M72 LAW, Stinger, BGM-71 TOW, SA-7 Grail, MILAN, Carl Gustaf recoilless rifle, SPG-9, M61 Vulcan, Flamethrower, and many more...

Tanks and vehicles: T-34, T-55, T-72, M113 APC, BMP-1, PT-76, M4 Sherman, M8 Greyhound, M60 Patton, ZSU-23-4, ZSU-57-2, various cars and motorbikes, and many others...

Aircraft: C-130 Hercules, C-47 Skytrain, F-86 Sabre, A-24 Invader, Mil Mi-24, Mil Mi-8/17, UH-1 Huey, UH-60 Black Hawk, AH-64 Apache, Eurocopter Gazelle, Westland Wessex, B-52, A-10 Warthog, Ilyushin Il-28, etc...

[ej-go-yt]

visitors 1.0 / employment / etc.

Hello dear ones,

Remember in January when I said I would write a blog every 22nd of the month? I lied. I overcommitted. No no, I’ll tell you the story. Plus, this month’s instalment is coming two days early AND there’s fun in store in photographic form (check the post below this one).

So firstly, there was no Feb. instalment of this here blog because on the 22nd of that wintery month I got news from the Yukon Government (“YG” as it’s fondly known as up here), in their typical bureaucratic Hunger Games kind of phonecall, that I was “the highest qualified candidate in the competition for the Organizational Development Consultant* role”...which I applied for in November, did a multi-page, multi-faceted written assignment for in January, and face-to-face interviewed for in February (PROCESS, PROCESS, PROCESS)! So I was also told that they’d be calling my references in the next week, so I saved my blogging for the next few days, hoping that I’d have a belated but happy bit of news. Loooooooooong story short: it took them a while to call NYC for the reference checks, but I got the job! Only about a week ago. So the masters paid off eh? And the real life begins eh? Yes...both of those statements are partially true. But before all of that new stuff, I want to send a HUGE shout out to my unpaid labour (facilitation, negotiation, mediation or otherwise), and serving/cooking jobs, and New Orleans and New York stinky bike rides, and Guatemala nights dreaming in Spanish, and activist peers and elders (Bren and Jim included big time here), and partner in crime (amorsito), who have helped me to get to this point -- and to live some pretty real life experience up to next Monday when the government job starts. I have never been paid to do the things that I’m most interested in (i.e. holding space while people get vulnerable in trying to communicate and transform with each other). But I have always been fulfilled in doing these things. So here goes the salaried version! Bust outta them moulds! 

In other, way more stylish Vancity news: we had our first visitors to the jüꓘøn last weekend. Ma main biddies, Livo and Joanie-boy Jarvis. They were most gracious guests. They enjoyed air-mattress basement sleeps, heavenly blisters from hiking, wondrous (and WELL-deserved) views, and James’ homemade Korean dinner. ALL THIS AND MORE is what you get when you visit our casa in Whitehorse. But truly, how cool is it to get your loved ones to peek into your magic world and concur on its magical qualities? It was really beautiful to show them the things that make up our daily lives. They are big mirrors for me, and it was so nice to see my excitement for this land reflected in them.

If anyone is wondering about James’ life details...please stay tuned. He is planning to be the middle ground to my blog updates. Expect something from him in the interim (between now and the 22nd of April). I don’t want to spoil all of his lovely news :) But iiiiiisn’t he looooovelyyyyyy? Iiiiisn’t he woooonderfulllll?

From the sunny 8:32pm Whitehorse, my heart is with you all, emily

*if anyone wants more details/clarification on my new J.O.B. (I know it can look a bit fluffy and ambiguous), give me a call!

[esprit-de-corps-magazine]

FAREWELL TO A SOLDIER: Ed Mastronardi, The RCR 1925-2016

(Volume 23-12)

By Major (ret'd) Bob Near, President Ottawa Branch, The RCR Association 

The Royal Canadian Regiment is known for its quiet professionalism. Its cardinal principles of Pro Patria and Never Pass a Fault reflect a regiment whose soldiers are dogged and tough, and who can be counted on to get the job done with minimum fanfare. Stolid and good natured, as well as competent and thorough, RCR soldiers are very much an embodiment of the Canadian personality. Perhaps no one in The RCR manifested these qualities more than Ed Mastronardi.

The panorama of Ed’s life was a remarkable one. On his father’s side, he was of Italian extraction, a Florentine whose ancestors were the masters of arms for the city’s armoury and allied with the great Medici clan. Ed’s mother, Thérèse Viau, was a descendant of Jacques Viau, a soldier in the Carignan-Salières Regiment who had married one of the Filles du Roy, or daughters of the King — young women sent to New France to become wives for the men of the colony. It was from this hardy gene pool that Ed came into the world on November 2, 1925. Growing up among Toronto’s immigrant community, Ed attended Duke of York Public School and Jarvis Collegiate. He excelled in sports, especially track and field and football and was captain of the school’s Army Cadet Corps, winning the Dominion of Canada Rifle Association’s gold medal for best cadet marksman.

During the Second World War, Ed finished high school before joining the Royal Canadian Navy in 1944. Sharp in math and science, Ed trained as a radio-telegraphist, serving on board the frigate HMCS Victoriaville, doing convoy escorts on the North Atlantic. One of Ed’s most memorable navy moments was in May 1945, when he was on the boarding party that took over U-190, the last German submarine to surrender to the RCN. Ed’s job was to go below and get hold of the sub’s code and signal books, which he did, at the same time “liberating” a fine Luger pistol. Ed kept the pistol for many years, and only handed it over to the police when he came within a quick trigger pull of blowing away a drug dealer working his neighbourhood.

After discharge from the Navy, Ed enrolled in the University of Toronto, graduating with an Arts and Science degree. He had also joined the Canadian Officers Training Corps, becoming a reserve lieutenant in the Canadian Intelligence Corps.

In August 1950, Ed was instructing at Camp Borden when it was announced that a Canadian Army Special Force would be established for service in the Korean War. Hearing the news over the officers’ mess radio, Ed and his subaltern buddies, after a few beers rumination decided, what the hell, they would sign up and see what adventure awaited. With his Second World War credentials and Intelligence Corps commission, Ed was immediately taken on strength of the newly forming Second Battalion, The Royal Canadian Regiment, as the Intelligence Officer, with Scout Platoon and the unit snipers under his command. For train-up preparations, 2 RCR joined the rest of 25 Canadian Infantry Brigade for five months in Fort Lewis, Washington, where under Brigadier “Rocky” Rockingham, the troops underwent a constant stream of forced marches, live-fire and toughening-up exercises.

On May 5, 1951, Ed and the rest of 2 RCR disembarked from a U.S. Navy transport at Pusan harbour — a foul place you could smell even before seeing it. Three weeks later, the battalion was in action, tasked with capturing a hill feature called Kakhul-bong and the village of Chail-li just beyond. Ed and his snipers provided what help they could to D Company, assigned to take the summit. But enemy artillery and machine-gun fire was intense, preventing any forward movement and forcing the depleted remnants of the company to withdraw back down the hill. It was a true baptism of fire with seven Royal Canadians killed and 29 wounded. But it would steel Ed for an even more difficult fight to come.

The Song-gok Spur, overlooking the Sami-ch’on Valley, was a near-perfect piece of ground for a platoon defence, except for one thing: It lay 600 yards forward of 2 RCR’s main defence line and could only be partially supported by the companies dug in on the ridge behind. Holding the spur, however, was key as it blocked the only tenable route by which the Chinese could infiltrate into the main Canadian defensive position. If they broke through, they could then roll up the defenders from the rear and flanks.

On the night November 2–3, 1951 the Chinese attempted such a manoeuvre. Occupying the spur was 2 Platoon, Able Company — the “Flying Deuce” as they styled themselves — now commanded by Ed. The Deuce was a good platoon. Its troops liked Ed, affectionately calling him “Boss.” But they were down to 28 men. Ed had no sergeant, just two corporals and a lance corporal to do the myriad of tasks that go with defending what was the Battalion’s key terrain.

The Chinese attack began just before 2100 hrs on November 2 — Ed’s 26th birthday. Before it was launched, the Chinese initiated a verbal exchange, shouting out, “Canada boy, tonight you die!” Ed’s response, to his men’s delight: “Come and get me you son of a bitch!” But Ed knew the Deuce was in for it. So did the troops, but not a man flinched.

For the next eight hours, a full Chinese battalion, supported by artillery and blowing bugles, came in waves in an effort to swarm the Deuce. If you’ve seen the movie Zulu, you get the idea. Through it all, Ed was dashing from trench to trench, shouting encouragement to his boys, and calling in his SOS defensive fire tasks. Ed’s command bunker was over-run. Facing his Chinese attackers, he shot two with his 9-mm Browning and a lit up a third with his Very pistol. Ed’s men performed similar acts of cool courage. Eddy Bauer received the Distinguished Conduct Medal and Jack Johnson the Military Medal for breaking up repeated Chinese assaults with the platoon’s Bren guns.

In the thick of it, Brigadier Rockingham got hold of Ed on his wireless, telling him that he and his platoon were the “cork in the bottle” and, by all means, they had to hold. The Deuce did hold, right to 0330 hrs, when Ed was given the order to withdraw. Ed was the last man to leave the position, leaving no one behind except Pte Joe Campeau, killed in the fighting. He would recover Campeau’s body the next day.

Using artillery to cover the withdrawal and carrying out his 15 wounded plus all the platoon weapons, Ed and his boys successfully made the 600 yards back to the battalion’s main position. Badly stung, the Chinese did not pursue, nor did they occupy the spur. For 2 RCR, it was a major victory with grievous damage done to the enemy. For Ed, it was the most momentous event in his life. Had he been killed with pistols in hand, it’s probable he would have been awarded the Victoria Cross. But The RCR are not known for their liberality in recommending honours and awards. Ed received the Military Cross.

In April 1952, the battalion rotated back to Petawawa and into garrison routine. At a mess function Ed met an attractive, vivacious girl by the name of Margaret Marion. Within short order they married, producing a son. The marriage was Ed’s firm base and he remained lovingly devoted to Margaret for 63 years, until her passing in April 2016. Ed’s army life at that time, though, was stagnating. Promoted to captain and airborne qualified, he was made 2 RCR’s jumpmaster, assigned to the Rockcliffe Air Base in Ottawa. But after Korea, this was mundane stuff. Moreover, Ed’s driving interests were intellectual and scientific.

When the Army turned down his request to do post-graduate studies, his RCAF friends stepped in, offering to make Ed a flight lieutenant in the Royal Canadian Air Force’s technical stream, with a promise of further education. Ed accepted. After a stint at Centralia, he was selected for the Royal Air Force Technical Staff College in England. Graduating in 1961 with a degree in Advanced Weapons Systems Engineering, Ed became one of the RCAF’s top missile systems specialists, in the rank of squadron leader.

When defence dollars dried up and the projects he was working on were cancelled, Ed left the Air Force for more challenging work. Joining De Havilland Canada, Ed became their chief of engineering sales and manager of operations. Although he enjoyed the private sector, Ed still felt called to public service and, in 1968, joined the Treasury Board Secretariat. He worked there for the next 19 years, ending up as the assistant secretary to the Board. Ed finally went into full retirement in the mid-1990s.

It was in his retirement phase that Ed’s life came full circle. The expression “once a Royal Canadian always a Royal Canadian” proved its truth when Ed joined the Ottawa Branch of The RCR Association, and was once more enjoying the company of soldiers. At the same time, a new post-Cold War generation of serving RCR appeared on the scene — young officers and soldiers who took a keen interest in the Regiment’s Second World War and Korea veterans.

So it was that in his final years, while residing in the Perley and Rideau Veterans’ Health Centre, Ed found himself once more deep in The RCR fold, cared for and loved by the Regiment. The highlight of this golden time was Ed’s visit in 2014 to 2 RCR in Gagetown, as a guest of honour for the Battalion’s commemoration of the Song-gok Spur Battle. Accompanying Ed was Red Butler, the only other living veteran from that action, and John Woods of the Kakhul-bong fight.

Ed revelled in this renewed regimental connection and took to writing novels and short stories that mirrored his own life experiences. This included Mock The Haggard Face, a gripping war novel based on Ed’s time in Korea. It’s a wonderful tale, in reality a thinly disguised account of Ed’s experiences as a young officer.

In taking up writing, Ed kept his head sharp while avoiding the soul-destroying ennui that afflict so many of the elderly in extended care homes. His regular attendance at the Ottawa RCR Association’s monthly beer calls, coupled with being hosted by The RCR’s battalions in Petawawa and Gagetown, further kept Ed mentally sharp and intensely proud of being a Royal Canadian. 

On October 9, a Sunday morning, Ed was making his way to the Perley-Rideau’s chapel for mass. Suddenly and without warning, he was struck down by a fatal heart attack.  He was wearing his full regimentals — RCR blazer, maroon beret, medals, and the recently awarded Korean Taegeuk Order of Military Merit. It seems that Ed sensed his time had come. Only the day before, he told the Centre’s chaplain, Father Tennyson, that he had written his last book. He was getting ready to re-join the soldiers of the Deuce. And passing through the sentry gates of heaven, he would be properly attired as befits a Royal Canadian.

Pro Patria, Ed. God bless and rest in peace. You have earned your heavenly reward.