#help why is spring literally the worst

[mental-breakdown-machine]

I need to go listen to Alvvay's entire discography for the billionth time maybe then i'll be ok

[satorudoll]

Baby Gumi giving Toji the sus look when he saw the love bites on Mommy's chest

Toji forgot his baby has sharp senses for a baby and baby thought Toji ate his food or hurt Mommy lol

(im starting to feel like y'all wanna turn this acc into a toji thirst vault)

Megumi always had a habit of looking up at his dad weird, the two year old boy always found his dad weird.

So he would spend most of his time toddling towards you and taking up any free space that was available next to you.

The baby boy loved to be in your arms very much, therefore everytime he woke up to find you already waiting there for him near his crib with a warm smile he'd try to get up on his small chubby legs holding onto the rail guards of the crib then forward one of his hands to make grabby hands at you.

You spent most of the day holding the baby boy in one arm and doing every other chore in your house while your husband was out for work because Megumi absolutely refused to leave your side unless he was in a deep slumber.

But as much competent the little boy was so was his dad, Megumi enjoyed all his fun time with you until it was time for his dad to come back from work, the two year old will get all pouty and fussy as soon as he'll hear the slamming of the front door and a loud "I'm home!" followed by the literal thudding of his dad's running feet.

The baby boy's brows would knit together and his tiny button nose would scrunch in distaste as soon as his dad would pull you away from his side to engulf you in a hug and lay bunch of his dirty smooches on your face.

ew, Megumi would think.

Megumi always got annoyed at his dad for doing these stuff to his mom, believing his mom was just a very nice lady to not turn his dad down.

The little boy knew his fun time was over as soon as his dad was home. He would toddle out of his room and find you sitting alone in the couch, peacefully watching television, then he would proceed to start running towards you almost tumbling in his steps just so he can climb up and sit down next to you.

But then the tall giant will casually walk in and let his entire body fall down horizontally on the couch, immediately planting his head on your thighs as well, leaving literally no space for Megumi.

The two year old boy would pause in literal disgust and shock,

This would get the two year old so mad that he would get down to pick up his toy spoon from the floor and start smacking it on the old man's head who in return would start yelling in surprise at why his son was being such a brat while you try pulling him away from his dad.

Now Megumi thought he has seen all the worst sides of his dad, until, one morning the baby boy wakes up way too early than usual due to a nightmare. Not finding you besides his crib he immediately manages to crawl up by standing on his little pile of plushies.

Megumi was indeed a smart baby.

Tumbling towards his parent's shared bedroom he could hear some weird noises coming as he got closer,

he was sure most of it were your voices though?

But you sounded like you were in pain??

He slowly opens the door which was already a bit agape,

he really couldn't understand what was going on since he was way too small and his vision could only go up so far.

But then he hears the loud sound of what he considered to be a slap along with the rough angry voice of his dad followed by your sobs,

he cannot believe his dad was hurting you ! Oh he always believed his dad was a mad man,

He was definitely worst than the monsters under his crib !

and that's all it takes for the baby boy's bottom lips to quiver and let the loudest wail out,

He felt like that helped because through his blurry vision he sees his dad immediately spring out of the bed, murmuring a string of what you taught him were "bad words" while fumbling around for something.

Your head pops out of the covers as soon as you were done fixing your night gown but the two year old was way too busy crying and rolling fat drops of tears down his red cheeks to realize that you had taken him in your arms.

"Gumi- baby what's wrong- " you try to rock him in your arms but that didn't seem to be helping,

"you are just like me kid, all grumpy early in the morning" His dad tries casually playing it off after slumping down besides you both,

but the 'just like me' causes the baby's cries to get even worst making you pass your husband a mad glare for saying that,

Toji stares at you both offended.

"I'm sorry, mommy wasn't there this morning- Won't happen again honey! I'll play with you all day today, we wont be able to play if you keep crying!" you smile as he starts to slowly quite down at those words.

"What a good little boy" You praise, slowly caressing his head and moving his little black baby hair away from his forehead.

His pout is still on his face as his vision moves down from your face but then it stops,

while Toji was joking at you about how he deserves the 'good boy' title as well and you were busy brushing him off, you both failed to notice the little boy's growing frown as he stared at all the purple bruises around your neck and collar bones.

He feels his vision start to get blurry again and then its there again,

His mouth opens wide showing off the two new set of teeth as he starts crying bloody murder.

You gasp in panic not understanding what had happened again.

As you tried to rock him again he tried getting away from your arms and instead stretching his hand towards his dad as he continued balling his eyes out.

That confused you and Toji,

He has never chosen Toji before for comfort as long as you were there,

But Toji was a little too happy to care,

"Does my little boy wanna be with daddy??" He coos, stretching his arms out for you to hand the baby to him,

"I knew you always had a soft spot for me kiddo" he gushes as soon as he takes his baby boy in his arms.

But the happiness didn't seem to have lasted long, because as soon as Megumi gets close to his dad's face his little hands flung up to grip on the locks of his dad's hair.

"What's u-" He yelps when the baby boy starts to twist and turn his fists while he continues to babble something only another baby could make out and sob like he was the one in pain,

"Oh god- baby you shouldn't do that come here-"

You try pulling Megumi back in your arms, but he is willing to take Toji's head along because he just wasn't loosening his grip.

"Gumi ! mommy will cry if you don't pay attention to her !" You make a pouty face and put your hands on your hips while Toji was busy yelping and cursing not caring that the little boy could hear everything

But that immediately gets the baby's attention because he instantly turns his head around and starts crawling to you as his cries slowly starts dying down.

"Demon child !" Toji points as he runs his hands through the locks of his hair, rubbing at the area that his son almost got him bald at,

You lift the baby up in your arms as you look at Toji,

"and don't you curse again in front of our baby" you knit your brows before turning your attention to the two year old and wiping the tears away from his puffy cheeks.

"So I'm the bad guy here??" Toji questions, looking defeated.

You shrug and walk away with Megumi in your arms who had finally gotten quite.

Oh you and Toji had a lot of explaining to do to this little boy, but that wasn't a headache you both were willing to take for Monday morning.

Maybe later at night, when Megumi will seemingly be a bit less pissed at his dad.

☆ — REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED !

[offside-the-lines]

tell me who i run to (if not you) | anthony beauvillier

"The first sip is joy, the second is gladness, the third is serenity, the fourth is madness, the fifth is ecstasy." - Jack Kerouac

Summary In July of 2023, Evie looked at a list of cities in North America and rolled a die. Just like that, she packed up her life and moved to Chicago, a fresh start. The 2023-24 NHL season started well for Tito; he did not expect the call on November 28th telling him that he was being traded. To the worst team in the league. And just like that. 10 months after being ripped from his home, he had to pack up and move again. To an unfamiliar city, and to unfamiliar faces. Which is why, when Tito and Evie ran into each other, quite literally, on Christmas morning, they both latched on to a familiar face. Over the next few months, they became close friends. They didn’t talk about the nights shared in Chicago clubs.  They didn’t need to. Because they're just friends.  Right?

This is a completed fic split into episodes for easier reading. It was written for @bqstqnbruin as part of the Winter Fic Exchange 2k24 hosted by @wyattjohnston.

Episode 1. Blue Christmas (4.9k) Episode 2. I. Winter (4.4k) Episode 3. Pal-entine's Day (4.8k) Episode 4. Four-leaf Clover (5.5k) Episode 5. Evie's Birthday 🌶️ (5.6k) Episode 6. II. Spring (4.8k) Episode 7. Not Goodbye 🌶️🌶️ (5.4k) Episode 8. III. Summer (4.8k) Episode 9. Tito's Birthday (4.2k)

Read it in full (44.5k)

🎵 Series Playlist 🎶

Requests (open) | Masterlist & Who I Write For | Join My Taglist

Under the cut: author's notes, tropes, warnings & disclaimer, fun tidbits, chapter summaries

Author's Notes: This fic was written for @bqstqnbruin as part of the Winter Fic Exchange 2k24 hosted by @wyattjohnston. It got so out of control long so quickly. I genuinely had so much fun writing this, it's basically my magnum opus; if you look closely, I think you can probably see my soul in there somewhere. I would like to thank @devilssacrament, @wyattjohnston, and @forgottenflowers for being my editors, holding my hand and keeping me sane in this. Also, thanks to @swissboyhisch, and @imperatorrrrr for being a sounding board for ideas . All of your help and support has meant so much to me. You are all just the fucking best, I am sorry this has been my entire personality for the past month, I will probably return to normal soon. Probably...

Tropes: a gut-wrenching mix of angst and fluff with a happy ending, slow burn friends to lover (tbh, idiots to lovers let's be real), alternating POVs

Warnings: alcohol (one instance of alcohol poisoning by side character), mature content bordering on smut (mostly occurring in clubs/public), references to a toxic past relationship. Disclaimer: This series is set in Chicago but does not mention the name of the team based there. Only other Chicago players mentioned by name are: Nick Foligno, Jason Dickinson and Connor Bedard. Other notes: NHL players featured Mat Barzal (a heavily featured supporting character/bestie) and brief mentions of Zach Hyman and Matt Martin. Assume that Tito and Evie are always speaking in French with each other.

Face claim for Evie (if you want one, but you can imagine whoever you like): Adeline Rudolph

Fun Tidbits: Original Character (she/her) called Genevieve Gignac or Evie (pronounced eh-vee) is the oldest sibling of Tito's juniors teammate and friend Brandon Gignac. Along with their other sibling Wiliam, they grew up in Montreal. Evie had been living in Toronto for six years, before moving to Chicago in the summer before the fic starts. I did way too much research so a lot of the little facts are true. Nicknames: (ma) chouette (shoo-wet): owl (mon) chou/chouchou (shoo): in practice, honey, sugar, baby, sweetheart // by definition, my cabbage or my profiterole/cream puff (depends who you ask) Solours (soul-oars): the Québécois name for the yellow Care Bear with the smiling sun on its belly Solou’ (soul-oo): a diminutive Evie decides to use

Cook, Cook, drink your tea, But save some in the pot for me. We'll watch the tea leaves in our cup When our drink is all sipped up. Happiness or fortune great, What will our future be? -- "Afternoon Tea at Pittock Mansion" by R.Z. Berry

Episode Synopses:

Blue Christmas Evie and Tito are both starting life anew in Chicago. It's an unfamiliar city with unfamiliar faces. They're both alone on Christmas. Maybe it's fate that brings them together. Jason and Alandra Dickinson are already smelling smoke from this fire.

I. Winter Tito injures his wrist in the first game of 2024, he’s out for 6-8 weeks and then his car breaks down. He thinks maybe he’s cursed. Evie becomes a shoulder to lean on. Barzy gets suspicious.

Pal-entine’s Day Tito returns her kindness by being a shoulder Evie can lean on when she is having a hard time after all-star break. She tells him it’s anxiety about work. He brings her a box of pastries and they cuddle on the couch all day; he doesn’t realize it’s Valentine’s Day. Later, a hook-up goes very wrong.

Four-leaf Clover Tito’s been playing again, and during his first stretch of away games begins to miss home. Well, Evie’s home anyway. When he sees her in the bar, he can’t help but show it. Barzy calls him out on his lies.

Evie’s Birthday Sometimes the music moves you. Sometimes the bass pounding in your chest makes you do things you wouldn’t do. Fuck it, it’s your birthday. That’s what Evie tells herself anyway. There are gifts given, but there are also secrets kept. 

II. Spring Tito tries to tell her— he does— It’s just he needs to find the right time, and something keeps coming up. Evie’s honest with herself. But does that even matter? Mat decides maybe it is his time to intervene.

Not Goodbye Evie realizes that her time is running out. To do what? She doesn’t know. But she has one last night to find out. That is until— Well. It’s too late now. Tito flies home and wonders if that will be the worst mistake of his life.

III. Summer They try to get on with their summers as if nothing is wrong, convincing no one. How long will it take them to realize they can’t keep pretending like everything’s fine? And who will finally take the leap of faith?

Tito’s Birthday Tito receives the best birthday present he has ever gotten: the girl he loves standing at his parent’s front door. It was never destiny or fate; it can only be by choice. And they’ll choose each other every time. Eventually, anyway.

Requests (open) | Masterlist & Who I Write For | Join My Taglist

[luvhughes43]

Maybe a blurb about Nico helping Blake with a panic attack?

[blake hughes au masterlist]

all week people have been asking blake what she plans on doing now that she was officially retired from figure skating. her family thinks becoming a coach, or a judge, anything that allows her to stay in touch with the figure skating world would be ideal but it was all too much.

the thought of going back into the rinks were she trained and competed in, the thought of her having to become a coach... especially since hers was so vile... it made blake feel sick.

so all week she had been stressed, trying to come up with any sort of exit plan or future that didn't involve going back to the world she was fated to leave.

thats why, stressed and agitated, it probably wasn't the best decision for blake to go to a crowded bar after the devils pulled another win.

she was away from the group for maybe 5 minutes when she starts feeling the symptoms. she was sweaty, heart rate exhilarating as she's shoved between bodies and tables. she tries to see above the crowd, but it was no use. she was lost and panicking.

her chest continues to heave, earning side-eyes and glances from people passing by her. tears spring to her eyes next, which she messily wipes away with trembling hands.

just as she fears the worst - that she was about to literally die - her attentions brought to the person who steps in front of her. "nico?"

"baby," he replies, face wrinkled in confusion before quickly realizing what was happening with his girlfriend. panic attacks weren't new for blake, and everyone in her close circle knows what to do if she starts having one. "let me take you outside," nico says, placing a comforting hand on blakes back as he guides them out of the busy club.

the fresh air helps some, but nico's presence was better. "name one thing you can hear," he asks, rubbing circles into the palm of blakes hand.

"i hear you,"

"one thing you can see?"

"i um-" blake gasps as she tries to get her breathing under control. "uh, i see the sidewalk,"

nico nods in encouragement, "okay good, one thing you can feel?"

blake squeezes nico's hand as she brings both into her hold. "i feel your hands," she breaths lowly, finally starting to come out of her panicking state.

"one thing you can taste?"

"tequila," blake brings nicos hands up to her lips.

"and what can you smell?"

blake sighs, dropping nico's hand and leaning into his hold. he quickly wraps his arms around her, swaying her softly as she finally begins to relax. "your cologne," she finishes simply, allowing her eyes to droop now that she knows she's safe.

"do you want to go home?" nico murmurs, dropping a soft kiss on blakes temple.

blake leans up and places a delicate kiss on his lips. "do you mind?"

nico shakes his head no, and with a quick text to jack - stating that the two were leaving - the two make sure they have all their belongings before walking towards nico's car.

[gingiesworld]

Keeping Distance

MILF Wanda Maximoff x GN! Reader

Warnings: A little angst maybe.

Part 3 to Culinary Lessons/ Previous Part

18+ MINORS DNI

Vision was soon charged with manslaughter and sentenced to 15 years imprisonment while Wanda had filed for divorce with the help of her brother. Vision wasn't happy at all when he was served the papers so that he was tackled by the guards.

Billy and Tommy had heard about what he had done to their neighbour, although Wanda wanted to tell them everything, she thought that maybe she should wait until they're a little older before she told them everything.

She had also noticed someone was hanging around Y/N's house. A blonde woman would come back late in the evening and leave early in the morning. Of course Wanda had called the hospital every day to see how Y/N was. They were finally awake but Wanda couldn't bring herself to visit them herself as she blamed herself for Vision's actions.

"Her name is Yelena." Pietro informed as he approached his twin. "She is Y/N's sister in law."

"Sister in law?" Wanda questioned.

"Their ex wife's sister." He told her. "She is staying here making sure that everything is ready for them coming home."

"They're coming home?" Wanda questioned.

"You never really did tell me what actually happened for Vis to go all Mr Sinister on them." He stated as Wanda shook her head as she looked down shamefully.

"I have dishes to do." She stated as she walked away with her twin following her.

"Just tell me what happened?" He questioned as he closed the door behind them.

"Y/N and I, I was teaching them how to cook so they would be able to cook proper meals for their daughter and." Wanda started as Pietro soon knew were this was going. "I didn't mean for it to happen. It did and the worst part is, I am not sorry that I fell for them."

"But Vision?" He questioned.

"Was barely ever here." Wanda told him. "Even when he was here, he wasn't really here."

"That's no." Pietro started before he was cut off.

"I know that's no excuse for what I did. Also what I did was no excuse for Vision to do that. Almost taking someone's life." Wanda yelled at him. "It's all my fault. All of it is my fault." She whispered as she started to cry, which Pietro just wrapped his arms around her and held her.

"Everything will be ok Wanda." He told her softly. "Everything will be ok."

"I'm pregnant." Wanda confessed as Pietro moved away from her. "And it's Y/N's."

"Wanda." He sighed as he pinched his nose. "What are you going to do?"

"I don't know." She whispered. "I'm scared Piet. I don't want to spring this on them when they come home soon and well the ink is only just drying on the divorce."

"Well, they deserve to know Wanda. Sooner rather than later." He told her. "They come home on monday, maybe talk to them on Tuesday or anytime after that." With that he left.

The following Monday morning, Y/N was getting themselves ready as fast as they could as they couldn't wait to go home.

"This one wanted to see you and take you home." Natasha, Y/N's ex wife spoke as Y/N smiled at a happy Lila.

"Well, I can't wait to go home." They stuttered slightly as Natasha looked at them with concern on her face. "I'm ok." They told her as they caught her eyes.

"You ready?" Yelena asked as she brought a wheelchair.

"All ready." They told them. Yelena helped them into the chair as Natasha got the bag and Y/N's crutches. Lila climbed onto Y/N's lap carefully as Yelena pushed the chair towards the exit.

The journey back to Y/N's was silent for the most part, Lila was singing softly to the music as Natasha watched Y/N with a careful eye as Yelena drove. Once everyone was settled, Yelena went to make some tea with the help of Lila as Nat sat in the chair and watched Y/N carefully.

"Why did he attack you?" Natasha questioned as Y/N shook their head.

"I am not talking about this right now Natasha." They told her sternly.

"Seriously Y/N, you were literally on death's door when you were rushed to hospital. It broke Lila's heart that her O'pa might not make it." She seethed as she moved to sit beside them so they could talk quietly.

"He caught me with his wife." They whispered. "In the kitchen, he came over looking for her and saw us through the window and got a wrench from my shed before letting himself inside."

"You cheated." Nat scoffed.

"You're one to talk." They spat at her. "How is Steve by the way? The wedding coming along nicely?"

"Don't." Nat seethed as Y/N just shook their head with a laugh. "You have no right."

"What? Did that hurt when you cheated on me with your now fiancè?" They sneered as Nat just shook her head.

"After lunch, I am taking Lila home and she will see you on break as planned." Nat stated as she stood up and walked out of the house. Standing in the driveway as she looked around the area, noticing that it is a nice suburban area and the houses were all beautiful in their own way.

Wanda watched from her window as the red head stood with her hands on her hips. She wondered if that was the woman who introduced herself to Pietro as Yelena. She soon noticed a little girl, around the twins age run outside and drag her inside the house. The little girl shared a lot of traits with Y/N except the hair, she had her mother's hair. She watched as the blonde woman she has seen quite often come outside and start to talk.

"I'm going to stay here." Yelena told Natasha who just nodded with pursed lips. "They need someone with the Natasha, they're still recovering." Nat just scoffed as she spotted Wanda watching through the window.

"Stay with Auntie Lena." She told Lila as she walked across the street to the Maximoff residence, knocking abruptly on the front door. "You're the psycho's wife." She stated once Wanda opened the door.

"Well, ex wife." Wanda corrected her.

"Well, ex wife. Stay away from Y/N." She told her. "My daughter almost lost her O'pa and so help me god, I will kill you myself." With that she walked away as Wanda just watched. Her heart beating rapidly as she watched Natasha and Lila drive off, Yelena giving Wanda a small wave before she disappeared inside.

As the weeks went on, Wanda found herself starting to show slightly. Those with small narrow minds would think she had just put on some weight. Although, the first time Wanda had seen Y/N since that night, she couldn't bare to approach them. The two only shared a look, but a small smile appeared on Y/N's face before Wanda turned around and locked herself inside. Her body trembling as her breathing increased rapidly as the tears started to fall as she collapsed to the ground.

[danikamariewrites]

the feysand x reader where she punches tamlin is too good😩🙏❤️ he def deserves that bro literally can’t take no for an answer🙄 but i wanted to ask if i can request a part 2 where he is fuming and kidnaps reader back to the spring court and he sees reader as a substitute for feyre maybe👀

Taken to Spring

Poly!Feysand x reader

A/n: loved this concept anon thank you. Feyre is kicking ass in this one

Warnings: kidnapping, violence

Part 1 here

You had decided to turn in early. Court work was getting to you and your mates but you felt extra drowsy. Maybe that nighttime tea was too strong. You bid your mates goodnight telling them not to take too long, never being able to sleep properly without them.

As soon as your head hit the pillow you were out. Curious, you thought to yourself as you drifted. In your half conscious state you swore you heard someone winnow into the bedroom.

——

When Feyre and Rhys entered the bedroom they quickly became confused when you weren’t in bed. Rhys checked the bathroom and the closet but as Feyre slowly approached the bed she froze. That all too familiar scent pierced her nose, throwing her back to one of her worst moments.

He didn’t hide his scent well enough. That rain and earthen smell. Like early spring showers. Feyre thought she was going to be sick. Rhys scented her tears and felt her fear and panic down the bond. He came rushing out of the closet to her side, holding Feyre tight to him.

She started to hyperventilate in Rhys’ arms. Before Rhys could ask why he knew. Knew it was Tamlin. And the two of them were going to tear Prythian apart to get you back.

——

You stir and rub the sleep from your eyes. You reach out to feel for your mates but you’re met with unfamiliar sheets. You shoot up and look around the room. High carved ceilings, lots of green, and a way smaller bed. You start to panic. You know exactly where you are, but unsure of how you got here.

Jumping from the bed you rush to the door and turn at the handle. It doesn’t budge. You pull and push a few more times, banging on the door. You give up and head to the windows. None of them will open either.

Tears burn your eyes, your breathing becomes heavy and quick. You take in the expanse of the Manor grounds. It would be quite beautiful if you hadn’t been brought here against your will.

The door opens behind you. You try your hardest not to turn around but the presence behind you spend an uncomfortable chill down your spine. You take a few deep breathes and face Tamlin.

"Glad to see you're awake. How are you feeling this morning?" Your eyes go wide with anger. Your mouth set in a frown, opening and closing. "I...What?" He smiles at you, taking a few steps toward you.

Your mind is working quickly. Thinking how you could escape or incipacitate him. You speed walk at him, pulling your fist back and throw all your weight into punching his stomach. Tamlin hunches over letting out a groan. You run at the open door. Just before you can make it through he uses his magic to slam it shut, locking you in again.

You start pounding on the door, screaming and grunting for a way out. Tamlin’s arms wrap around you and you begin to thrash in his hold. “Let go!” The male has the audacity to ‘soothingly’ shush you as he sets you on the bed.

“It’s alright pet. You’re alright.” You stop fighting as you kneel on top of the satin sheets. The nickname making you freeze. Pet? What does he mean you’re alright? “Tamlin…what’s going on?” He sighs, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“They we’re controlling you my dear. I had to get you away from them. I can keep you safe here.” He pushes a strand of hair behind your pointed ear. You close your eyes, taking more deep breathes as you fight off your tears.

You scream in your mind, down the bond, mentally scratch at them, anything to get their attention. “Help me! Help me! Please Feyre! Rhysand! He took me!”

——

Rhys notices how still Feyre has gone in her seat. He reaches out, grasping her hand, “Darling, what is it?” She slowly turns her head toward him, “Do you hear that? Hear her?” Tears line her eyes. Then your voice begins to echo in Rhys’ mind. The words so familiar he fell to his knees letting out a sob.

“Rhys we have to go! Now!” Rhys grabbed Azriel while Feyre took Cassian, winnowing to the Spring Court Manor.

——

Tamlin had left you in Feyre’s old room after he put you in one of her dresses. The thing was far too colorful and frilly. He was convinced he saved you they way he couldn’t save Feyre. That you were in danger living in the Night Court.

You felt them before anything happened. The coolness of soothing night had infiltrated the perfect spring day. You felt relieved. Your mates and friends had come to save you.

Pressing your ear to the door you could hear the fight downstairs. Feyre screaming bloody murder at Tamlin. Crashes and bangs and snaps of power echo through the empty halls. Two sets of footsteps thunder down the hall toward the room your being held in.

Someone slams on the door causing you to fall on the cold tiles. You scramble away as the next bang sends the door splintering. You scream, covering your face.

A pair of gentle but shaky hands pull yours away from your face. Feyre and Rhys crouch in front of you. Both of your mates spattered with blood, you assume it’s Tamlin’s, looking wide eyed and terrified. “Are you ok?” She asked softly. You nod whispering yes.

Feyre bursts into tears pulling you into the tightest embrace you’ve ever felt. Rhys rubs up and down her spine while kissing your head whispering soft words of reassurance. “Take me home.” You sob.

Feyre pushes Rhys off of you both and winnows to the River house leaving the males to deal with what was left of Tamlin. She cradles you on sitting room floor as tears silently flowed from both of you.

[losingherface]

Cinema

Ellie x fem reader

Info: While on patrol, Reader and Ellie come across a movie theater, something they’ve only heard about in the comics, they’re not going to miss the opportunity to explore it.

Warnings: Smut, 18+ only

•

“Mmm, Mmm, Yea’.. You hummed the words of a song you’ve been listening to on repeat while kneeing down every once in awhile to rip flowers from the ground, trying to gather enough for your curious girlfriend, Ellie.

The both of you were in the hot summer sun on patrol. Ellie was 100% faithful to her belief that Summer was the worst time to be out and about killing infected. You preferred spring, the rain & and warmth gave you some sort of comfort despite the situation.

Ellie and you were walking a giant field of tall grass & hidden flowers, Ellie with a map in her hand and you with a ready-to-shoot shotgun in yours.

“You know what i’ve never told you?” You say to Ellie, smiling and looking at her thigh.

“What is it.?” She says with a smile back, getting closer and closer to your face.

“I love that holster there.” you whispered.

Ellie rolls her eyes and laughs, kissing your forehead like she always did.

“Come on, only a few places left to clear out and we can talk more about it back at home.”

Ellie never liked being distracted, sometimes you just couldn’t help but get a little distracted while on patrol. You had Ellie wrapped around your finger though, and she would literally have to stop herself from getting distracted as well.

“Ugh fine. Where to next?” You asked as she fumbled with the map.

“Mmmm….I think we’re going to the movies.”

You gasp. “The movies, like the theater? Remember that one comic?……”

“Yes. Yes, I remember. But we’re only going to go in there and kill infected, okay?”

“God Ellie you never used to be so …good. Why can’t we have a little fun just like in the comic?” You walked up behind her, hugging her waist and nibbling at her ear.

She blushed and giggled at the feeling of you there.

“Okay. Okay. Just like in the comic.”

Time had passed and the two of you finally arrived at the old and practically falling apart movie theater. Ellie searched her backpack for her gun. The two of you begin making your way in slowly and quietly.

Inside, there were old stations for purchasing tickets, grabbing candy and popcorn. You wondered what could’ve gone down here and why you felt such a huge wave of nostalgia.

The old movie posters on the wall, and the long hall to your theater seemed so fun to you. But now there were dead bodies and infected scattered over the building. Not too crazy since there were no spores but you could still feel them. So could Ellie.

You had your shotgun ready for anything as You followed behind Ellie. The two of stood quietly peaking your head in the hallway of theater rooms looking for any infected. It wasn’t until you heard loud breathing, running and sounds of a runner behind you.

“Babe watch out!” Ellie yelled as you turned around and immediately shot the runner.

Breathless you say, “I don’t know why we still get shocked when we’re on patrol.”

“Yea well, better get that gun ready, I can hear them from inside the theaters.”

You took a deep breath as you and Ellie stood beside each other watching the small horde of runners running to you two.

Only the sound of gunshots filled the theater. At some point, your shotgun ran out and you had to quickly detach your bat from yourself. You began beating them one by one, blood splattering on you and Ellie and the floor of the theater.

And Voilà! They were gone for now.

“I think we deserved this break.” Ellie nodded in agreement, the two of you still armed, walked down the long hall and picked a theater.

It was incredibly dark but luckily the embarrassingly huge flashlights Joel gifted the both of you came in handy.

“Up there!” You say. The stairs led the both of you to the small room where the film would be playing through.

“None of this stuff works.” Ellie says looking around for a way to play any movie. “I mean it’s been years since it’s all been used, you know?”

“Aha!”

“What?” Ellie looks over to you.

“I found a cute little radio.”

“Does it work?”

“…Nope.”

Ellie grabbed your hands.

“Is it crazy that sometimes I wish we were together before the outbreak? I probably would’ve gave you everything.”

It was rare for Ellie to be completely open about her feelings and you knew every time she was, it was the truth. You sat on the little desk in the room, pulling her close and wrapping your legs around her, resting your head in her neck. She made you feel so safe.

“No..it’s not crazy. I think everyone wishes this outbreak never happened- even if we weren’t even alive yet.” Your voice was muffled. Her hands caressed your waist as she pulled away and rested her nose onto yours. You press a soft kiss onto her lips but didn’t get the chance to pull away longer than a second. Ellie’s hands cupped your face as she basically devoured your lips. She was breathless and it seemed like she was starving for you. Something Ellie never liked doing— getting it on while on patrol.

Doesn’t mean it never happens but she would rather be with you at home, cuddled up in bed and in privacy. Not while trying to kill infected.

Ellie backed away for a moment to pull down her faded black jeans, revealing her beautiful thighs in her short-shorts. God, you loved the view.

You get up, walking slowly over to her and begin caressing her all over. She helps you undress and you do the same. Her boobs do a soft little bounce as you tug off her sports bra. Your mouth immediately attaches to her nipple, licking and sucking all over leaving her boobs slightly coated in your spit.

You begin kissing slowly downwards as you reach to her shorts, looking up at her for permission, she places her hand on your head basically saying yes. Slowly, you begin sliding down her shorts, revealing the beauty and warmth she possessed.

You kiss her inner thighs, never wanting to stop and you end up right where you want to be. Licking and nibbling at her skin before reaching her clit, it was your favorite. Her moans filling the room and seeing her try to find anything to grab onto for support.

She would barely let you go down on her but you could tell by how quickly it’s all going that she was the one that desperately needed you today.

You loved licking her clean and seeing yourself glow and have some of her covering your chin and lips. She helped you get up off your knees. She wasn’t done and you knew she wouldn’t let you go without getting something in return.

Ellie started to slide her jeans back on and you attempted to do the same.

“No.” She said stopping you from putting on your jeans. “I want it all off. I’ll lay down.”

You watched her as she laid her flannel out on the floor, lied down and gestured her hand for you to come near.

“Sit on my face.”

You blushed and felt the ache down there. You did as you were told and hovered over Ellie’s face, without warning she had her hands wrapped around you, holding you as close as possible to her tongue.

She ate you out as fast as she wanted and was not stopping. At some point, you could feel tears in your eyes with the way her tongue was moving inside of you. Your toes curling and body dripping loads of sweat. This was you in your favorite form of yourself.

Soon enough, her grip became weaker which allowed you to jump off of her face without dripping too much on her. You fell over to the side and laid there for a minute. Ellie sat up and looked at you laughing.

“Think you’re good to walk back?” She asked you, grabbing and caressing your hand.

“I would be in a minute.”

“So was it like the comic?”

“Kind of, too bad we couldn’t slow dance to anything.”

Ellie fixed herself and became your big spoon while the two of you relaxed before heading back home.

Patrol always ended in two ways. Either you two actually got stuff done and get home to have a large feast in bed or the two of you stay on patrol longer than usual, recovering from amazing sex.

•

a/n: another smut. will write something smut-less next time! :) sorry for any mistakes!

[kerubimcrepin]

Liveblog - Dofus, livre 1 : Julith [PART 10]

These sweets are so appetizing...

Due to the way this stall looks, I am assuming that these are types of candy that ouginaks and ecaflips love, and not literal animal food. Tragic.

Things Joris wants forgiveness for: leaving a bestie with cops (after she asked him to leave), disobeying his father after he folded on their plans for 99th time, telling his father that he's CRINGE and FAIL using his real cringe fail moments, and running away while having a mental breakdown.

Danmn he's so evil and bad for this fr fr......

Anyway, I think Joris's love language is gift giving and acts of service, and Kerubim's is words of affirmation and gift giving.

(This is wild ass headcanon territory because Atcham is a rarer character, but: Atcham's are acts of service and quality time. Source? It came to me in a vision.)

The street signs in this movie are killing me.

The Dofus Pets 2 ad says Dofus Pets 2.

Cute ad! It looks familiar though...

There ain't no way that these two pieces of art don't use some of the same reused assets...., I refuse to believe in that reality.

Joris is dissociating and Khan is trying to get his dick wet. Their friendship is so special.

By the way, the fact that they cut the "Khan makes/lets Joris do underage drinking, with many horny Khan-loving women present" scene still haunts me. Why? Why must have they forsaken me this way...

I still believe Khan bought Joris alcohol on regular until the guy was finally 18. I want to live in a world where Khan helped suicidally depressed 14yo Joris have a "coffee with cognac in the morning, chicken with cognac in the evening" lifestyle, and it's like one of the reasons Joris is still alive or something.

My other thought on the topic is that Atcham (imagine him being physically 4yo in this scenario), taught Joris how to smoke cigars. And then he had the shit beaten out of him by Kerubim (also 4 years old).

This is like his 60th divorce.

And he's never even been married.

Man.

The reaction to the door opening is IMMEDIATE.

THE PLATONIC DIVORCE #61 HAS BEEN CALLED OFF. But genuinely, it's so cute seeing how happy he is...

Joris thinking these things about him is his worst nightmare. AND the little guy is in danger. So, chances are, for a few hours he spent time thinking about how bad of a father he is, and how it's his fault that Joris is god-knows-where and in danger and also HATES him and will NEVER forgive him.

AND the disciplinary action he takes is just so chill and cute... (cough-cough, my own thoughts on whether Joris was based for this aren't relevant, because 1. he ran off god knows where and children shouldn't do that, and 2. even though his grievances are valid, he did bring them up as hurtfully as possibly, with some really fucked and irrelevant things too, just to make Keke feel pain at that moment. Which is not something one should get in the habit of.)

Your agonized twitching and worried faces have both bewitched me heart and soul.

He's literally still infant/toddler sized... So small, compared to Lilotte...

Sometimes, we say horrible things, when we're angry. They love each other so much... They're both willing to look past all the imperfections.... (throws up on the carpet like a cat)

No commentary, I just like seeing him afraid.

She and Kerubim have beef, as has been mentioned in many past posts.

Bakara does her fighting with the same icy, emotionless expression, that she had during her conversation with Kerubim at the bar. This is her "I am going to kill everyone in this building" resting face for when Julith is mentioned.

Kerubim is SHOCKED by how fast she leaped into combat. Also, I want to think, disappointed. This is too dangerous of an enemy to spring into action like that, simply out of rage, while having literally no combat experience...

Because like, Kerubim and Julith are veterans of a war/multuiple wars.

While Bakara is a 20~yo, freshly graduated, alcoholic nepo-baby.

Let it be known I don't like Julith. She is a fun character to watch, but... I feel like the fandom treats her as someone who's done no wrong, despite all the evidence we are given to believe that she is a horrible person.

She was framed, and she did love Jahash, but that doesn't take away from anything else. She beat the shit out of Bakara here, even though she could have restrained her much more gently, — she dug into Bakara's insecurities and called her a poor little fool too.

I really doubt Jahash would have liked that. (Same for her plans of killing a thousand people though, so, I really doubt she gives a shit about his wishes at this point.)

She does THIS SHIT. Jesus christ! Maybe, just maybe, she would know of your feelings, because she loves him just as much? Maybe that's why she wants to kill you as much as you want to kill everyone in Bonta? Have you thought about that, you hot topic customer-looking edgelord?

Besides her hypocrisy, she was known for her ruthlessness, even before the war. There's a reason they still call her a butcher. Which is why I kinda dislike how often this stuff is swept under the rug by fans making cute content.

...I do support women's rights, but I also support women's wrongs, and Julith has a lot of those. She's tragic, but also evil.

Unlike someone like Nox, she makes no effort to empathize or connect with people who oppose her, and knows no mercy. At the very least, Nox had a twisted sense of morals, and could whip out an epic "you're just like me fr...." during a battle.

[thunderon]

alright more pre-crash yellowjackets thoughts! this time: shitty high school jobs they had! (i worked 5 different shitty minimum wage jobs between the ages of 15-18 and have thought about the concept with more gravity than it deserves sorry)

shauna: was a tutor during the school year for literally every subject. she was the only reason jeff and randy passed their junior year. even though she could use the money, shauna never charged any of her teammates if they needed some help. when school was out during the summers, she had a seasonal job at the concession stand at the local concert venue. pretty easy money and she liked listening to the bands play

jackie: unemployed. being the coolest girl in school is a full time job, after all! note: tried to get a job with shauna at the concession stand. it was a complete and utter disaster. she lasted a week, and only made it that long because of how much shauna covered for her. after that didn’t pan out, when shauna worked weekends, jackie would always buy a concert ticket… just to hang out by the concession stand and talk with shauna for the whole show

nat: her first job was working at the local pizza parlor. was employed there for 6 months until it got shut down because, as it turns out, the whole thing was a money laundering front for the mob (which explains why nat never got fired despite being actually kinda bad at making pizzas). after that, she goes to work the 6pm-midnight shift at the grimiest gas station in wiskayok. except for the occasional stick up, it was a quiet job where no one bothered her and she could buy her own cigarettes. however she was constantly sleep-deprived having to get up for school in the mornings. definitely created energy drink concoctions that would send most people into cardiac arrest. van and the other yellowjackets would always stop by to see her on shifts and nat always gives them free slurpees

van: started working at the movie theater in the mall when she was 14 (the owner needed the help and did not ask enough questions). van is the rare sort of person that is absolutely beloved by both customers and her fellow employees and no one was surprised when she became a manager. she has the best customer service and will help out all the other employees with whatever they need. to this day she still holds the record for most Employee of the Month awards. also i just know van was the ultimate hookup and snuck her friends into shows and definitely took home the leftover popcorn after her shift. if she knew nat was on shift at the gas station, she’d stop by on her way home and give her some

taissa: never worked during the school year because she took way too many classes and extracurriculars (she was a 3-sport athlete: cross country in the fall, basketball in the winter, soccer in the spring. also did debate team AND student gov). her parents actually tried to talk her out of getting a summer job, but taissa has never relaxed a day in her life. she took a job at a clothing store in the mall and claimed she chose it for the employee discounts. the fact the store was located in the same mall as the movie theater was unrelated to anything whatsoever (tho taissa and van’s break schedules coincidentally always lined up and they’d hang out and go to the arcade where they’d have competitions… loser had to buy the winner food from the food court afterwards).

anyways tai would have been a perfect employee… if she didn’t have the world’s worst customer service (“for the fifth and final time, i am not going to give you a goddamned refund if you don’t have the RECEIPT and if you try putting that ugly ass blouse in my face again i will shove it up your-”) …had to have routine talks with HR throughout her tenure there. her manager gently suggested therapy, once.

lottie: didn’t need the money but definitely got a job out of boredom. decided to lifeguard as a summer job. it was basically getting paid to tan and tell kids to stop running. she had a sixth sense for when it’s about to start storming. her coworkers stopped questioning it after a few months and now when lottie says to get everyone out of the pool, they get everyone out of the pool. from lifeguarding lottie actually learned enough about pool maintenance to do the work and check the chemical balances on the pool at her own house. her father thinks the whole thing is ridiculous, her mother thinks it’s nice she has a hobby

laura lee: didn’t work a paid job but volunteered. she played piano for the local church services and on weekdays she worked evenings at the local food bank. if she sees anyone from school show up, it stays between her and God. she has managed to rope each of the yellowjackets into volunteering with her at least once

mari: worked at a local restaurant. tried to be a waitress, but on her very first day she got three different customer complaints about her attitude and so the owner put her in the kitchen where she became a linecook. she had more healthcode violations in her 1.5 years of working there than every other employee combined. the manager fired her on a weekly basis but she always just showed up to work the next day like nothing happened and the boss always took her back because mari is the best damn linecook he ever had

akilah: she’s a baby and was too young to work an actual job but definitely did babysitting (mostly for family). definitely was the kid-whisperer. had plans to work at library once she turned 16

misty: volunteered at the local retirement home and developed a love-hate relationship with an 85yo named Ethel (and by love-hate i mean: misty loved ethel, ethel hated misty)

[sanjoongie]

What doesn’t kill you, makes you stone

🐍my submission for the spring event Idols over Flowers held by @kvanity-main

🐍My Bouquet~ Main flower: Marigold x hurt comfort, Roses x romance, Freesia x supernatural  Supporting Flower: wax flower x tattoo parlor  Greenery: lily grass x s2l Ribbon: band of cord x magical creatures

🐍Pairing: Tattoo Artist! Jongho x Medusa! Reader (f) 🐍Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff 🐍Au: Tattoo Artist au, Modern Mythological au 🐍Warning: mentions of mental abuse, depression, toxic ex, oral (f receiving), fingering, breast play, marking, penetrative sex practicing safe sex with a condom, public sex in a private spot, f and m orgasm 🐍Rating: +18 MDNI 🐍Word Count: 4,399 🐍Dedication: @mejuii & @downtoamagicalland the best beta readers a gal could have

You met Jongho on the worst day of your life. It was raining, you were alone and heartbroken. Why did you even try to hope for happiness at this point? You were pretty sure you were born to suffer. 

You sat there on a stone bench in the park you used to love, letting the rain and your tears fall. You thought, ironically so, perhaps you might live like this; like a statue in the park. You wondered if moss would grow over you, or were you that despicable of a creature that even moss would reject you?

"What are you doing?"

Your eyes raised slowly, unsure why anyone would see you and think to ask what you were doing. "I'm contemplating my existence. Do I look like something moss would grow on?"

The man in front of you stares at you, blinking droplets of the rain off his eyelashes and then bursts into laughter. "What kind of question is that?"

You felt something stir in your chest and you hissed at it rearing it's head. The brunet in front of you cocked his head curiously. "I'm sorry to laugh at you, I just truly didn't expect you to say that."

Your eyes dropped back to the ground. "Thanks."

You expected the stranger to leave but instead he sat down beside you. The rain ran down his leather jacket like it had a destination. "I like to sit in the rain too. Kinda washes everything from you, doesn't it? Not literally, you know. But metaphorically."

Your throat tightened and you found that you couldn't speak, but you had to warn this kind-intentions man that you were dangerous. "It's not good to be around me when I'm emotional. That's why I'm here in the park. You should go."

The man leaned back on the stone bench, his palms bracing himself. "I've been cut by words before; I think I'll be safe."

You shook your head. You felt the wrap around your hair slip and you yanked it back into place, making sure the bobby pins were securely in place. "Not words."

"Well," The stranger said with amusement coating his voice, "I dunno if you've checked me out or not, but I'm not sure you'd be able to hit me or hurt me."

This time you couldn't help but laugh at the man. The laughter pulled from your throat in a bitter bark. "I'm a Gorgon," You admitted.

You waited for the silence to swallow you whole but the pitter-patter of the rain around you was reassuring, in an odd way. And then the man said, "Have you ever turned someone to stone?"

The question took all the air from your lungs and you could feel your pulse in your mouth. No one had ever… asked you that before. They always assumed you had. "No."

You turned to this stranger, bewildered. He was sporting a curious look himself towards you. "Then why would you assume you would hurt me?"

"I…" Your words died in your mouth. Everything felt like ash in there. "It's what I'm born to do? I can turn people to stone. Aren't you afraid of me?"

This man stared at you like with a miniscule smile tugging at the corners of his lips. His eyes were solid and challenging. "Do you know how sad you look here, on this bench, letting the rain drench you? Believe you me, I'm not afraid of you."

Your walls threw themselves up out of pure instinct to protect your self that was about to become vulnerable. "Well, you should be. You just don't know any better."

The stranger sighed and stood up. Finally! He got the message and was leaving. You slowly let yourself sink back into the stupor you were in before you were interrupted. Then you felt something warm sit on your shoulders and your head yanked upwards.

"I'm Jongho, the guy that's adopting you. My shop isn't far down the road. Come to work with me. I hear the buzzing from a tattoo shop is pretty soothing. Come get warm and dry and drink some water. I'm sure you'll feel better after a bit."

Jongho held out his hand and when you didn't take it, he wiggled his fingers invitingly. He had put his leather jacket over your head and shoulders and it was so fucking warm that you thought perhaps it was melting your cold heart as well in this moment. 

Somehow you managed to take Jongho's hand and he took you back to his shop. You were actually slightly disappointed when he took his hand back. He walked with his hands shoved in his front pockets, chattering about a design he was working on and a difficult client. Before you realized what was happening, you were in front of the shop. 

You were given the chance to flee. All you had to do was give Jongho his jacket and make your way back to your empty apartment. But you were clinging to this warm feeling that this well-worn leather jacket was giving to you; you really didn't want to leave it behind.

Jongho pushed open the door and held it open, still inviting you inside. "I've got coffee. It's not amazing but it's hot. Let me guess, you like it black, like your soul?"

You scoffed at his sarcasm. Clearly Jongho didn't believe that you were bad at all and was mocking you now. "Lots of sugar please, and cream."

You ducked under his arm and entered the tattoo shop. It wasn't large and it certainly wasn't modern. It sported a lot of dark wood and only two chairs. But it had greenery and felt like the person who owned this shop loved it. So immediately you felt your shoulders ease and your hands unclench. 

You had sat primly in one of the waiting chairs but when Jongho came back from making coffee for you both, he rolled his eyes. "Come sit on a chair back here. Unless you plan on turning me to stone. Then I'd rather you let me get settled at least. I don't want to be known as the statue that eternally holds coffee cups."

You stayed where you were but not because of what Jongho said. You felt that if you took the steps to go behind the counter, you could never truly come back to this other side. If you took that cup from Jongho, you would be accepting his comfort. You really shouldn't be doing anything of the sort, with the remnants of your heart on the floor. But you decided to be selfish, for once. Jongho's shop gave you the inner strength to do that.

Since that day in the park, you became a regular at Jongho's shop. You weren't the type of regular that got tattoos, but Jongho had been right, the buzzing of the tattoo guns was quite soothing. Jongho rarely had two customers, so that second seat became a second home. You talked to Jongho about everything under the sun and then some of the things hidden at the bottom of the ocean. It didn't matter if Jongho was tattooing, if he was cleaning up, or if he was working on a sketch, he always seemed to be thoughtful in his words. You grew used to his lilting voice breaking up the dullness of your day. 

A few weeks later and you still avoided your apartment but that was because you wanted to spend all the time at Jongho's shop. You started little habits of taking care of his plants, adjusting them to make sure they sat in the right amount of sun. Jongho had been overwatering them but soon you were able to coax them back to life. 

It was surprisingly much later when Jongho approached you about you getting a tattoo yourself. He was closing shop up one night, the keys still jingling in the door, when he turned and dropped the question.

"So, when are you going to let me tattoo you?" He asked, those calm of his neither demanding nor intrusive. He simply wanted to know.

"Jongho," You started hesitantly.

"--don't feed me that bullshit about me being in danger again," Jongho made sure to cut you off firmly.

"Jongho, please, I'm dead serious. I don't know how I'll react? These aren't silly superstitions. I don't want to--"

You cut yourself off this time. You didn't want to risk Jongho. He was the only good thing in your life right now.

Jongho ran a frustrated hand through his hair, sighing loudly, making sure you knew how unhappy he was. "I don't believe you. You'd never hurt me."

You find that you can't breathe and your eyes burn insanely. You turn quickly, again, instinct to shy away from harming someone with your emotions. "Jongho, don't. My snakes might really turn this time."

Jongho laughed, disappointment bobbing like bubbles in the air. "Fine. But for the record, I think it would help you heal."

"Inflicting pain on myself would help me heal?" You burst out in disbelief, without thought of where the verbal daggers would land.

Jongho visibly flinched and you regretted your words immediately. "I'm sorry I said anything," He mumbled and then left.

That night you tossed and turned and your heart was heavy with the wounds that you had created with your careless thoughts. You had lived and loved someone who had done the same to you for years. And when they left you in the fear that the intense emotions they elicited out of you would kill them, you thought that was the end of you. You swore you would never make someone feel that way. And yet here you were.

The next morning, you arrived at Jongho's shop with two iced americanos and a solid feeling of determination in your chest. "I want a tattoo, Jongho," You announced.

Jongho pushed aside the curtain that separated the shop and the backroom, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "But yesterday you said…"

"I know what I said," You admitted softly. You put down the glasses on his front counter and moved behind them. "I was wrong. Let's try your way. My way isn't working. I want a tattoo."

Jongho's smile was slow to push his cheeks to the side. "Okay, well, I've got some sketches started, let me find my book."

"No," You insisted gently, "I know what I want."

You grabbed a pen and wrote down your future tattoo on Jongho’s sketchbook: What doesn’t kill you, makes you stone.

Jongho read the text and then stared at you, blinking profusely. "Hey--"

You shook your head. "No Jongho, I'm reminding myself that I am strong now. I'm not weak. I'm the stone. I'm not going to turn anyone into stone. You taught me that."

A hesitant smile bloomed on Jongho's face. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," You agreed, his smile infectious.

"Then will you listen to me some more?" Jongho pushed.

"About what?"

"You should let me kiss you."

You waited for people to pop out of the doors and yell "Got Ya!" but it never happened. 

"You want to kiss me?"

Jongho fidgeted with his fingers. "For a while now."

"Define a while."

"Since the bench. I just had the urge to kiss that sad look off your face. Obviously I'd never kiss a stranger but--"

Your skin began to tingle. It traveled from your sides up your neck and into your scalp. You worried about the big emotion causing your hair to transition and your hands flew to your wrap instinctively. 

"Hey, hey." Jongho's hands went over your own and he leveled his head so that your gaze went straight to his. "You're okay. I'm sorry. I didn't want to overwhelm you."

Your eyes dropped to the floor as well. "I'm sorry. You shouldn't have to worry when you just want to tell me you liked me."

"I'm not worried about me!" Jongho admonished you, "I'm worried about you!"

Your lip began to tremble and you allowed your eyes to meet Jongho's. "Why do you worry about me so much Jongho?"

"I--"

The bells Jongho tied to the door of his shop rang merrily and interrupted Jongho immediately. He gave you a gentle smile and then went to deal with his next appointment. You moved to the back of the tattoo shop, finding toilet paper in the bathroom and started to mop up the tears that had formed at the corners of your eyes. You managed to calm yourself and helped clean up the shop a little bit. You made sure Jongho had his supplies ready for his next appointment. You settled into a safe conversation about house plants with Jongho's client and all was back to normal. 

When the client left, Jongho gathered up his sketch book. "Can I… do you trust me to choose the font for you?"

Your eyebrows shot up on your brow in surprise. "You want to do that?"

Jongho shot you a gummy smile that made your heart flop again. "You're letting me do your first tattoo. I'm so excited. I have something in my head and I want to give it a try. And you can say no even after I draft it. But I promise you, you'll love it."

You mulled over it. Your first tattoo were your words and they meant a lot to you but to know that Jongho's art was on your skin… that made it feel even more special than its original intentions. Yes, you wanted to heal, but you also wanted to move on. This felt like a good step, right?

"I wanna try Jongho," You agreed shyly.

Jongho cupped your face so tenderly you felt like you were going to break in his hands. "Please, say you'll let me kiss you now. I had to do that whole session thinking of how I missed my opportunity."

Your skin began to tingle again but you whispered. "Kiss me, Jongho."

Jongho carefully but eagerly pressed his lips to yours. When you didn't jolt out of his grasp, he sucked your bottom lip between his own and you almost moaned into his mouth. A small smile pulled at the corner of his lips but still he kissed you, tenderly but with hunger. You could feel Jongho's muscles strain as he held himself back, your hands running slowly up his chest. Jongho released your lips, forehead pressed to yours. "If you keep doing that I'm going to have to shut down the shop."

You're so touch-starved. The feeling of Jongho's soft lips against yours, the way his thumb continued to stroke your cheek, were measured wacks like an ax to the tree that was your defenses. "Shut the shop down then," You said bravely. It was time to be kind to yourself, for once.

Jongho's hands slid up your thighs, cupped them and hauled you up his body. With one hand firmly under your bottom, he walked to the door, locked it and turned his open sign off. He then propped you up against the chair in which he typically saw clients and kissed you some more. 

While your lips met again and again, it was Jongho's turn to explore your body. His hands ran up and down your arms, murmuring that you were so very soft. Then the back of his fingers admired your collarbones and he decided that his lips needed to kiss those parts as well. While he sucked and bit down on your collarbones, his fingers braved your sides. His hands halted just below your breasts, hands cupping your ribs and thumb oh-so-close to your breast.

You moaned for Jongho. "Please, please."

It took no further prompting from Jongho to unbutton your blouse, push the cups of your bra upwards and soon he had two reverent handfuls of your breasts. His eyes flickered upwards to check on you and when he saw your pupils blown and your lips parted slightly to keep up with your heavy breathing, he then curled his tongue around one of your nipples and sucked it into his mouth. He did the same to the other and you practically melted in his hands. 

"Jong-jongho," You panted.

He hummed knowingly, eyes swinging back up to look at you as he gently kissed the mound of one of your breasts. A thumb passed over your other nipple and you had to gasp at the sudden feeling. "So sensitive for me, angel, huh?"

"So good," You couldn't help but whimper.

"I've got to taste you," Jongho swore to himself. He began to kiss down the valley of your breasts and over your stomach. 

"Wait, Jongho," You boldly put a hand on his fingers before he undid your pants.

"What's wrong?" Jongho shot up a concerned looked to you.

You had to stare at one of the potted plants in the shop instead of at Jongho. "This is so embarrassing," you muttered, "I didn't shave."

Jongho let out a throaty chuckle. "If you think that's going to scare me off, you're sorely mistaken."

You bit down on your lip when you gave him a sharp nod to tell him he could continue. Jongho eagerly unbuttoned your pants and soon had you shimmying out of them. He groaned at the black lace underwear you had on. But soon he had those peeled off as well and settled both of your legs over his shoulders. 

The only way you would be able to describe Jongho's pussy-eating technique would be as if he was making out with your cunt. The way he played with you with his lips and tongue and teeth was like nothing you had ever experienced. He didn't hold himself back with careful, measured strokes with his tongue but rather, he delved and teased and made your body hot with lust. Soon your hands were diving into his hair and your hips were thrusting in the air ardently. 

Jongho chuckled deeply in your cunt again, causing nice vibrations against your clit and that made your hips jerk upwards. He pulled his face from your cunt, the bottom half of his face smeared with your slick and said, "Someone's looking for their climax."

"I-it's been a while," You admitted.

Jongho growled when you told him that. "Well, we have to remedy that, don't we angel? Better double up, huh?"

"Double?" You asked in disbelief.

"Double," Jongho confirmed.

He went to work, licking your clit with careful flicks of his tongue and he began to introduce one finger into your hole. You moaned at the intrusion, spreading your legs and throwing your head back. The dual sensation was amazing. Then when you felt a second finger enter you, your head snapped back up. Jongho's strong stare met your own. He was devouring the way your chest heaved and your eyebrows furrowed for him. 

His gaze never broke as he coaxed you through one of your two promised orgasms. He lazily pumped his fingers in and out of you, careful not to overstimulate your clit and simply let you ride the wave of pleasure. "That's it, angel, enjoy it all."

You whined through it all, a layer of sweat clearly coating your body now. "Jongho?"

"Mmm, angel?" Jongho had been running his hands up and down your thighs in reassurance.

"Do you have a condom?"

You watched with slitted eyes as Jongho reached into his back pocket and brandished a purple shiny packet.

Your eyebrows shot up your forehead. "Have you fucked clients before?"

Jongho smiled slightly and didn't answer but instead warmed up the condom in his hand before rolling it down his length, having pushed his pants and underwear past his balls already. You were pretty sure you had never seen something so hot before: his muscled and tattooed arms framing his body as he practiced safe sex. 

His lower half came flush with your body. Jongho pushed down his dick so that it laid against your wet cunt. A hand went around your hip and adjusted the angle of your leg around his waist. "I'm gonna make you come so hard around my cock, I'm not even going to apologize, angel. Gonna make you feel so damn good."

Jongho finally pushed inside of you and your walls automatically clenched around his length, making him bite down on his bottom lip. "Shit, angel, you're so tight. Fuck."

You tossed your head back again, arms behind you to support you. "So…so full," you moaned.

"Yeah, do I fill you up?" Jongho prompted.

"Jongho," You cried out when he was inside of you full hilt. 

Jongho watched as he pulled back his hips and made tentative body rolls between your thighs. You choked on air and had to dig your nails into his shoulders. You were whimpering, watching his dick move in and out of you. He just felt so good; so solid and present and radiating good vibes. You felt your skin truly settle and for a moment, you believed that your snakes would never come out as long as you had Jongho on your side.

"Okay still?" Jongho checked in on you, your comfortability first and foremost on his mind.

"So good," You groaned.

Jongho kicked it up a notch, fucking you with a firmer pace, making his balls slapped against you. Your breath caught in the back of your throat and you started to chant "yeah, yeah, yeah", feeling your nipples pucker as lust curled in your stomach.

"Come on, angel, come for me. Fall apart for me, hmm, do it for me. Wanna see you come undone in my chair, yeah? Fuck, this pussy, it's mine now, do you hear me? Only I can do this for you. All for you."

You came with a desperate cry and your muscles froze as your nerves were painted with pleasure once again. "Jongho!"

"That's right, angel, that's me fucking you good," Jongho murmured into the air.

It wasn't long before Jongho came as your pussy fluttered around his cock. He buried himself deeply inside of you and unloaded into the condom. He grunted, scrunching up his nose and sighing happily, riding out his own orgasm.

"Jongho?" You called tentatively for him.

His eyes snapped to yours. "Are you okay?"

"Jongho…" You felt your lips tremble and tears begin to prick your eyes. "I don't think anyone has fucked me like that. I…" You let out a shuddering breath, "I think I might love you?"

Jongho laughed, a happy noise. "Well that's good. I thought I was going to have to hold off telling you that for a while."

"Huh?" You said, suddenly feeling very gobsmacked.

"Oh I love you with every fiber of my being, angel," Jongho admitted.

And there went your tears. "You love me?"

"I love you so much I'd shut down my tattoo shop if that meant I could spend every day in between these legs of yours," Jongho grinned and you smacked his chest. "What? Just saying. It kills me when we have to separate when I close down shop."

"Should I…" You licked your lips nervously, "Should I move out?"

Now it was Jongho's turn to be shocked. "And leave behind the toxic apartment that only reminds you of your ex? Yes please?"

After the sex, things shifted between you and Jongho. It was like it was the final red tape taken down around the crime scene that was your broken heart. Sex shouldn't have healed it, but if anything proved to you that Jongho was in love with you, it was his willingness to get close to you and to touch you. 

You spent the next week planning your tattoo. You had decided to get it where you could always see it. You needed to be able to read them and be reminded of what you had gone through and what you were capable of moving forward. One half of Jongho's beautiful calligraphy on one inner forearm and the other adjacent from it. 

The day your first appointment came, it felt odd to be the one in the chair who Jongho was working on. You had always watched on as Jongho tattooed someone, the dull buzz of the tattoo gun always making you feel comfortable. But now, Jongho in his nitrile black gloves and needle poised to press to your skin, it made you feel different.

"Nervous?" Jongho asked as he set the stencil against your skin.

"Actually, I think I might be excited," You admitted.

Jongho laughed, a gummy smile appearing and brightening up your day. "I love that."

The two of you chattered back and forth as Jongho started on your tattoo. The pain was manageable and eventually faded in the background as you talked to Jongho about cereal flavors and the preferred method of cuddling. The time passed by in measurements of Jongho's soft, comforting voice and his hands inching down your arm, holding it aloft to tattoo you. 

True to Jongho's words, you did feel healed after getting your tattoo. Although Jongho had a heavy hand in your healing, the words that you had chosen etched in your skin meant everything to you. Whatever scars you had from your ex had long healed and were replaced with the curling words that represented your life. 

You may turn others into stone if you were agitating enough, or maybe that was just a tale passed onto other humans because being threatened to have your head cut off might have come off as 'agitated' to them, but you felt like the one turned into stone. Not of the sad and neglected statue type of stone that you had hoped would grow moss like that fateful day you had met Jongho, but of bedrock. Bedrock that was a foundation for you to build your true life up. For the life you had with your ex, who flinched at your stare and jolted out of your touch, was not a life.

Jongho winked at you while working on a pokemon sleeve, old japanese art style. Since you had moved in, he had got one of his tattoo artist friends to give him a tattoo of a snake intertwining his collarbones. He said that you were so intertwined with his life that it felt good to have the same represented on his skin. 

You no longer believed you were born to suffer; you now believed in happiness.

Tag list: @hijirikaww @flowerboykun @kitten4sannie @starillusion13 @flurrys-creativity @stardragongalaxy @a-soft-hornytiny

tagged by special request: @yoonguurt @anyamaris tagged bc jongho biased: @ssaboala

[sssammich]

1 and 2 for character ask game for... Lena and Kara actually. Am curious.

lol me too let's see what comes out of my brain! im gonna assume 1 and 2 for each of them and not 1 and 2 respectively. oh well i love to type so here we go

kara:

Why do you like or dislike this character?

oh i love that she is actually so very flawed and a little terrible if i look at her character really closely. and i think that's what makes her so much more compelling to me. she's this superhero that's meant to uphold hope, help, and compassion for all and boy does she sometimes get it wrong! she gets cowardly about stuff, she gets impulsive about her decisions, she really is the punch first think later which, you know, has consequences. she's a caped contradiction of ideals and behaviors and i like that about her so much. like, i think her cowardice in revealing herself to lena and the fact that she'll face danger head-on without a second thought for her wellness and safety sometimes in the name of saving the world is two sides of the same coin. and i think that makes for such a complex character.

Favorite canon thing about this character?

she has terrible excuses like she's the worst liar? lmao funniest thing about her tbh! also it does crack me up when she puts her hands on her waist all the time

lena:

Why do you like or dislike this character?

well im not gonna lie to you, but i have a long and established record of loving and gravitating towards rich bitch brunettes with terrible family dynamics, arguably morally gray behaviors, high aptitude and/or social capital, and who are specifically emotionally constipated with otherwise good hearts. so, it was literally a forgone conclusion.

aside from those things, i like lena because she's unwavering in her efforts. she tries and she tries and she tries. so i mean, at this point, what's not to love about a character like that?

Favorite canon thing about this character?

oh there are many it's hard to pick just one tbh but i guess one that springs up to mind is that instead of exacting revenge with destruction and mass chaos, her fix of humanity was to heal them of pain LOL like girl ok

character ask meme

[truths33k3r4]

CHAPTER 18 - The Fight He Can’t Win

‘ I’m home. ‘

‘ I’m safe.’

‘ I’m ok. ‘

Raph tried with all his might to get the shaking to stop. He buried his hands in the pocket of his hoodie and pressed them hard onto his plastron.

‘ What is WRONG WITH ME. ‘

He paced back and forth, squeezing his hands tighter and tighter. He couldn’t make the memories stop.

He couldn’t make the nightmares into some fantasy he might wake up from.

Images flashed through his mind forcing him to face what happened for the past week. He shook his head and tried to distract himself with something. ANYTHING.

But the nightmare pushed through every barricade he threw at it. Metaphorically..

.. and literally.

Raph knew he couldn’t physically beat down his thoughts into submission. He knew nothing would happen after he threw one of his sais deep into the wall, adding to the growing collection of dents and holes displayed in his nook.

‘ GET OUT OF MY HEAD. ‘

Despite trying every option in the book of “ Calm the Heck Down “, nothing worked.

‘ Fight didn’t work.

Flight didn’t work.

Heck, even FREEZE isn’t working. ’

Raph sat down on the edge of his bed, making the worn and tired springs groan from his weight. He closed his eyes.

‘ Focus. ‘

He focused as intensely as he could to breathe. He tried to drown out the annoying sound of his thumping heart with the sound of Don’s newest alarm clock positioned on the side table next to Leo’s bed.

Tic.. Tic…Tic…

He counted how long each beat was before the next tic would sound.

Tic.

‘ One…Two…Thre- ‘

Tic.

‘ One.. Two… ‘

Tic.

‘ Oneeee. Twoooo. ‘

Tic.

This time, he took a long deep breath as he counted.

‘ One…Two….’

Tic.

Gradually, the repetitiveness of his technique dulled his adrenaline down. His hands were no longer trembling, which was good. He pulled them out of his hoodie.

That was a big mistake.

Raph’s pupils constricted and his breathing began to quicken again as he caught sight of the faded scars spider-webbed over his right arm.

No breathing exercise could save him from the return of his nightmare this time.

The same images appeared before him again.

In a blur of vibrant green he could hear Don’s cries. His twin’s voice shattered into a million pieces with his final words.

‘ “ RAPH!!! NO! P- please!! PLEASE STOP!! “ ‘

A horrible sting crawled its way through Raph’s arm as the memory refused to relent.

He could still feel the cold press of metal on his wrists,ankles, and..

..his neck.

Tears that had NO business being there decided to flow from his eyes as he shut them tight.

There goes his breathing again.

That was enough. This was a battle he couldn’t fight on his own. Raph knew when he was beat.

So he went to his final strategy. His final attempt to end the nightmare.

Fight.

Flight.

Freeze.

Focus.

FAITH.

He fell to the ground on his knees.

‘ God.. God, please help me.. I CAN’T..

I CAN’T DO THIS. I thought I could…

I can’t.

They won’t stop.. I can’t sleep.

NOTHING IS WORKING. ‘

Raph’s tears began to burn with his temper.

‘ WHERE WERE YOU?

WHERE WERE YOU WHEN ME AND DON WERE TAKEN??

WHAT KIND OF GOD LEAVES THEIR KID TO FIGHT A BATTLE THAT THEY CAN’T EVEN WIN?????

WHY WOULD YOU LET THIS HAPPEN TO US?? ‘

Raph rubbed his arm as his face plummeted deep into his blanket. He screamed with all his might into the soft fibers.

Somehow his anger was replaced by something else.

Raph’s other worst weakness :

Regret.

‘… Is.. is it something I did?… Is that what this was? A punishment?? All the times I was harsh with my brothers?? Is that it??? ‘

His eyes wandered to the wall at the foot of his bed, lined from top to bottom with tally marks.

( If one didn’t know better, it looked as though they were made by a prisoner counting down the days until their sentence would end. They weren’t drawn by chalk, but rather carved into the wall by something very sharp. )

He plunged his face deeper.

‘ All the times I hurt my brothers.. My temper….I thought I was getting better.. I thought…gGGRRRRRRR- ‘

Raph’s fist swung out, slamming the wall next to him. His knuckle began to bruise, as well as a small cut had sliced into his skin thanks to the brick’s edges.

He squeezed his fingers into his palm like he was grasping onto a rope over a 80 foot drop.

Then his hand shifted, loosening and falling limp to the ground at his side. At the slight impact of hitting the floor, his hand opened revealing his palm.

‘ .. I’m sorry. ‘

This time he let the tears fall.

‘ .. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry… ‘

From the corner of his ear he flinched at the sudden sound of someone running through the hall past his room. They were giggling.

‘ My brothers.. ‘

Raph remained kneeling on the floor, as a soldier to his King.

‘ My brothers… are home. ‘

Raph lifted up his head from the blanket.

‘ I’M home. ‘

His hands rested onto his thighs as he bowed his head.

‘ … And that’s thanks to You.

Thank You, Lord.. For keepin’ us together. Thank You, Lord, for pullin’ us through. ‘

Raph wiped away his tears. They no longer burned, but instead brought a sense of healing to the scratch on his hand.

That's it for this chapter!!!! I do believe I have found a new favorite perspective to write for. :) Compared to Mikey's energy and squirreliness, Leo's slow, mature, deeper thoughts, and Don's excessive amount of detail and robotic thinking, I'd say writing for the angry blunt characters is what I'm best at. :) Raph and Lotus are also the characters I most express myself with as well, so that probably helps a bit.

Anyways, hope you enjoyed!

To God be the glory!

Masterpost <- PRIOR CHAPTER NEXT CHAPTER ->

[sea-owl]

I find it so funny imagining how both the seasonal wives and season brothers act when its not their season. Like yeah you have here the Seasonal wives as cottagecore besties maybe frolicking in the fields doing watercolors and sewing and people watching (with the occasional blackmarketing) just them living their best life and on the other hand the brothers are screaming crying throwing up and GOING OFF at the most minor of inconveniences coz THEY. MISS. THEIR. WIVES. DAMMIT and why can't they live with their husbands huh??? They're married! They should live together! (They are mortal, you fools). But no amount of reason or logic is convincing them that they should be apart from their wives.

Cut to their season and the brother finally reunites with his wife and the first few weeks the wife literally has to pry their husband off of them coz he's stuck to her like glue and will not lift a finger to do their damn job unless his wife is within a cuddling distance (and to him that's like a few inches apart)

Just imagine the shenanigans and absolute chaos in all of this

The wives got to make an itinerary for when it's time for their season or nothings getting done. They don't expect to see their friend for the first month of their season.

Anthony is the most responsible of his brothers when it comes to balancing his need for his wife and actually doing his job. Probably has to do with the fact that he's the eldest of not only the brothers but all the Bridgerton siblings. His season is also the time of the harvest and last-minute hunting, and fishing before everything freezes, and some animals go to hibernate. Fertility also falls in Anthony's responsibilities with most animals mating during his season. That responsibility keeps him focused. But Kate is also there to make sure he relaxes and jumps into piles of leaves once in a while. She can help take part of his load or help be a stress relief. So long as her own temper is ignited.

Benedict is the absolute worst about doing his damn job. He doesn't want to work! He just wants to be with Sophie. More than once, Sophie had to withhold affection so that Benedict didn't rush winter in one storm and then call it good. She also made sure he actually made it snow during winter. While winter is tough, it is also a rest periord for the earth. The other wives did wish Sophie had put her foot down more about Benedict leaving on time, but it's his one bad habit she enables. She likes spending time with her husband, too.

Colin is actually the second most responsible when it comes to his season now, which is surprising because he used to he a total flight risk. Those super late springs and the springs that only seemed to last a week? Yeah, that was Colin avoiding his job. He used to hate that all he was known for was flowers and the nickname charming spring. It wasn't until Penelope pointed out to him that he actually brought life back to the earth that he took a double take at what his job really was. Yes, he brings life back and brings in new life as he helps with the births of animals who mated during fall. Now, that doesn't mean that sometimes he likes to play a joke in delaying spring just a little bit. Only now he hides away with his wife.

Gregory isn't bad about doing his job like Benedict, but he also isn't as strict as Anthony is. He wants to do a good job. He just sometimes goes a little overboard. Extreme heat is one issue he's working on. Gregory sometimes forgets that mortals don't feel the elements the same as immortals. Thankfully, Lucy is there to remind him should he need it, and if Gregory is confused if he is going overboard by mortal standards, he has Lucy to turn to to get a mortals perspective.

Though nothing prepares them for when the first wife dies.

[blackbutlerfandomnerddomain]

Okay so I am now caught up with the new Black Butler chapters

NOW ONTO THE THOUGHTS WITH SPOILERS UNDERCUT!

BABY GOT A GUN!

Hmmm...kay Artie maybe you're a bit-

GOD DAMNIT-

...Okay so me and @cartyrs recently have a talk of the vibe of the manga rn (see here and here for the actual talk) in which we both kind of agree the whole Undertaker setting up a orphanage that sacrifices children for blood donations for Doll (in which I ask WHY KILL THE CHILDREN AND NOT DO WHAT ANA DID AND GET THE DONATIONS VIA MEDICAL SHIT-) while building the kids up to be like OCiel, Sebastian, the other servants, and maybe Doll is a bit weird and doesn't fully make sense, but seeing the final face shown panel of Artie is straight Sebastian!

. . . Artie-

He's uhhhhhh....he's kind of freaking me out-

I red this again to figure out what it could be cause it's not just a Sebastian vibe anymore, it's something else, and with a next page that struck me with a thought-

Why does he look kind of like Peter to me?? I know I can't base it purely cause he's a youthful blonde Victorian child, but even his dialog is weirdly Petercore just while Peter was "kids are brats" Artie's more "adults are mean", now obviously I'll be nuts to try and dare theorize he's actually a BD of Peter cause 1) he would have a scar where he was shot unless like Wendy the bullet was to the side and not back to front as I assume based off his corpse-

and 2) Doll would've recognize him for certain or at least be weird around him supposed deja-vu

... No-

Yana you can't-

YOU CAN NOT-

WELP HERE ARE THE TEARS HOLY SHIT-

Now I won't be first to mention how Finny thinking of when OCiel matched with how he's feeling right now, but the fact that Theo, this orphanage's literal Ciel, telling him to run has to be SO conflicting for our baby...

Well, I mean it'll be sad but at least 208 wouldn't be worst-

. . . OKAY

FIRST OFF, I was spoiled of some scenes already, thank my friend for that!

Second, when this picture showed up, my brain decided to ruin me more by playing this-

WHICH DOESN'T FUCKING HELP-

Anyway, back to the review of 208, a weird feeling in my chest of tears, happiness, anxiety, and theorizing-

The parrels Snake even points out of Doll and OCiel when it shows the parrels of Doll and Finny crying over the idea of losing Snake-

The hand reaching out to him by people who saved him-

MY HEART!

. . . I'm sorry wha-

Ooooooh, okay, I was about to whip out my knowledge of animal DNA vs Human DNA and how at sad as it sounds we can't have werewolf babies and question everything-

I mean Dagger's not wrong, I mean he literally named Sebastian based off what he wears and OCiel just off how adorable his smile is, unless someone else named him and he took credit

Also on that thought how he named Doll makes it so much cuter/sadder since he described aka in his eyes she's really is as precious

Also I can't tell is Dagger is saving other abused kids from this circus/freak show, is packing up the ones who tagged along, or if Snake unknowingly witnessed one of their kidnappings-

YOU CAN'T SPRING THAT SHIT UP ON ME YANA-

Kind of interesting they don't have beef, which according to some weird test is the most favorable meat out of the ones out there. Like I get they don't have cattle since they roam and I assumed beef is expensive back in the day, but a part of me kind of hopes it's like a Soma situation back in Weston where they don't have beef due to someone's religion, though then there's pork-

JUMBO!

My boy didn't speak much at all throughout the arc so this is excited as shit!

AAAAWWWWWWWWEEEEE~!

S-So... Jumbo...named the Snakes...?

Hey, Jumbo simpers, come back so I can bless you with him naming your kid-

Okay this is by far my new favorite picture of all of them together! Doll chilling in her dress- A honestly super cute wholesome pic of Beats- Peter giving off that trustworthy older bro vibes- Wendy giving off that one cool Aunt who lets you eat ice cream before breakfast and lets you sip her wine if you behave enough and takes you to Disneyland a weekend just to see you excited and scared on roads vibes-

Though now I have a few questions of this scene seems to show everyone knew Doll and her habit of dressing up to chill with others in comfy clothes (which in same bitch) and which i wonder: Did no one fucking care she was in the bath and trying to strip OCiel back then?? Dagger and Jumbo were in there, I get why they would be chill with their baby sister in there but why didn't they step in-

Unless my joke was true-

My final thoughts. . .

I AM NOT OKAY!

I am taking a lil nap, watch some Black Butler Season 2 cause for some reason unless it's Alois' abuse and death I don't cry, so there-

I have a lemon mint tea brewing-

Hopefully Doll does not die cause I might not return from that, not as a shipper but as it'll be silly bringing her back then killing her off AGAIN!

LET HER HELP FINNY ESCAPE, LET HER HAVE A BIT OF A CRISIS BEFORE EITHER HER OR SNAKE OR SNAKE'S SNAKES STOP HER FROM DOING ANYTHING EXTREME, LET HER RUN INTO OCIEL AGAIN, LET ME HAVE A SCENE OF OCIEL SHOCKED SEEING HER, LET ME SEE HIM WATCH HER WALK UP, LET HER PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE, LET ME HAVE THAT!

[peanut-butter-and-theatre]

choose violence 🔥 10 16 17

10. worst part of fanon

Probably not the worst (there'sdefinityworse), but my least favorite is Michael and Christine hating each other because in what WORLD would two people like that hate each other?? Fuck right off, they become best friends and have a spring wedding

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

The idea that Michael has an older brother that, like, had a squip (specifically that it's the person he talks about in the bathroom scene) and stuff. Maybe it's just that I truly prefer the idea of him having to do a shit ton research and reaching out to literally just random people on games. It's just. The idea of M knowing what the squip was all along leaves a bad taste in my mouth Like no fucking way would he have helped his bestie GET ONE if he knew they were arrghh mega evil bad. I'm losing my mind but I'll die here on this hill

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

I love seeing people's interpretations of characters in their childhoods/younger years. How people think some characters might've been more confident (or otherwise different) as children, and I love the way they portray the buildup to the point they believe would've reduced that character's confidence. I love it so much

[rabbitholeresearch]

The Diagnosis of Chris Redfield

It all began in the spring of 1998. Raccoon City had a case of cannibalistic murders and mysterious animal attacks, both on hikers and residents that lived near Raccoon Forest. The city’s police department guess a satanic cult of some kind, probably on narcotics of some kind, given the extent of the violent attacks. However, as the investigation continued, they guessed the base of operations for this cult was somewhere deep within Arklay Mountains, about northwest of the city. With public pressure, the RPD gave in to and put a specialized task force on the team known as the Special Tactics and Rescue Service, AKA S.T.A.R.S., led by Captain Albert Wesker.

Shortly after STARS is put on the case, they send Team Bravo into the suspected hideout deep within said mountains in the mid-summer. Radio contact is lost. Alpha Team went in, finding out that Bravo was attacked, and fled into the mansion and split up.

And it’s here. It is here that young Chris Redfield’s life takes a turn for the worst. Without getting too into detail, he straight up is thrown from the world of a young cop who just had fun little shooting competitions with his friends, to a gritty, beefcake, boulder punching man who lost his memory at one point due to a concussion caused by a fake Ada Wong, regains those memories, and eventually finds the origins of Oswald Spencer’s research and destroys the origination of the Mold.

But that’s just it. How does he stay this cool, badass character that just shows up and sprays down zombies like it’s nothing? Well...he doesn’t. I think the leader of the Alpha team has severe PTSD.

Please note that this post will be talking about severe trauma from a psychiatric perspective so please, if you see or think anything might affect you, I beg you to turn away. This post will also have spoilers for the recent Resident Evil 8 game for those that haven’t played.

–

So let’s start by defining PTSD. According to the American Psychiatric Association, PTSD is and I quote: “A psychiatric disorder that may occur in people who have experienced or witnessed a traumatic event such as a natural disaster, a serious accident, a terrorist act, or war/combat.”

Okay so at the very least, Chris Redfield is probably already a qualified patient. “Terrorist act”? Check. I would absolutely say that the events of Resident Evil 6 count as that. “War/Combat”? We saw that for the most part in RE5. “Natural Disaster?” Aaaaah. Maybe six or seven? That one’s kinda weird to be honest. But serious accident? Yes. Absolutely! Why? Because, referenced in Resident Evil 5, we see Jill Valentine, who is basically his sidekick/best friend from the very first game, and even survives on her own for a bit in Resident Evil 3, falls out of a window after attacking Albert Wesker who betrayed STARS and was infected with some form of the zombie virus. Chris presumed her death, only to find out she survived the fall through, ya know, video game logic, and was experimented on by Wesker.

Which honestly, I was surprised he didn’t come back too. I mean, in Resident Evil 5, his last hoorah is literally in a freaking volcano! What is up with that?! But his son, Jake Muller (who until RE6 didn’t even know who his dad was), appeared and I really expected Wesker to just pop up like “Hey son. I’m back with those smokes. Also, you’re immune to the C-Virus so congrats. My zombie body helped make you with your mom--” Alright that got too weird. ANYWAY.

We’re here because Chris, in all fairness, has trauma. But let’s try and figure this out. The A.P.A. states that PTSD symptoms, though they can vary in specificity, fall into four categories:

Intrusion

Avoidance

Alterations in cognition and mood

Alteration in arousal and reactivity

Now I will say I actually have PTSD of my own. Avoidance and Intrusion are absolutely symptoms I got through, as well as Cognition and Mood alterations when triggered.

Something I noticed is Chris definitely doesn’t avoid anything so we can go ahead and cross that off. Chris Redfield always dives in headfirst cuz well...he’s the American Boy. He’s the definition of charge in and be the American hero because human lives are at stake so the second one is crossed off.

Now the third one, Cognitions and Mood. This basically means important details of events aren’t remembered, everything’s kinda blurred, which results in detached behavior and Survivor’s Guilt. Now while Survivor’s Guilt is often a result of PTSD, it isn’t a form of PTSD. It’s just another symptom. It’s basically kinda like when you eat way, way too many blue gummy bears and then your poop is blue. It’s blue because of the gummy bears. If you didn’t have the Gummy Bear, you don’t have the blue poop. 

Fun fact, that’s an actual thing that happened to my dad one Easter, but I think it might’ve actually been jelly beans. I can’t really remember.

Survivor’s Guilt could very well be something Chris suffers from, dating all the way back to the Mansion Incident in the first Resident Evil. He was one of few people who survived that entire incident and what happened afterward? Did he take a mental health break? Nope! Chris takes on a mission in Europe, as seen in Resident Evil 2 when Claire is going to Raccoon City to try and find her brother. 

Now let’s think about this. Rather than rest and recover from this event, he proceeds to pursue his investigation of the Umbrella Corporation. Chris is treated at the hospital and, despite trying to report their findings to the police chief, Irons, STARS is ultimately shut down. Chris then reports everything he needs to the FBI and even assaults a fellow officer.

The RPD tells Chris he needs a break and he says he’s going to Europe for a “vacation” but this was just an excuse to get to Europe in order to enact his vengeance on Umbrella for all the Hell it caused his city and possibly even the world.

That’s nuts. I wish I could do that at my work and get away with it. Just fight someone on the shift and then go to Corporate armed with nothing but a fry basket, ready to take them out.

This leads me to that fourth category: Alterations in arousal and reactivity. This is defined as reckless or self-destructive behavior, angry outbursts, hypervigilance, and even trouble sleeping.

This is entirely reckless. I mean, I get it. Going rogue because this company is obviously evil and has a hand in bio-terrorism. Yeah. That’s fair. Let’s take them out. But if only it were that easy, as we can see throughout the franchise. Despite Umbrella BARELY hiding their attempts at world domination, as seen in RE6, no one really flinches. They’re somehow still in the running.

Having said that, in Resident Evil 4, three years after RE3, Leon actually says in the introduction that Umbrella was wiped out by the investigation. Without digging into this, I’m presuming this is because Jill managed to escape Raccoon City and was able to report her findings as one of five survivors, six if you count Ada Wong. Which does make me wonder how they’re still hanging around like a more gruesome Team Rocket.

And the last category is Intrusive. Now, this is where this unravels, actually. Intrusive is basically intrusive thoughts. Those little thoughts or images that flash through just enough to unsettle you and if you’re like me and have diagnosed OCD, then you play these thoughts over and over in your head.

It’s like you want to go to the park. Okay, great, the park is outside. Nice. The outside is where people are. People aren’t that great, in my perspective. Bad people exist. Bad people like to hurt people. I’m a people that could be hurt by a bad person. Because of that, I can’t go to the park now. 

It’s like being stuck in a loop that wants you to be sad. Like, thank you brain. I just wanted to get stuck in the baby swing but now I’m going to sit on my phone and scroll through TikTok and be sad.

Intrusive thoughts are what had me curious. The intrusive category is actually where most people are commonly confused about what PTSD is as this is where we find that flashbacks fall into. A great example of a flashback in Resident Evil is actually in the fifth game. This is where Jill Valentine doesn’t really become Chris’ partner. We learn that during the last bout, they had against Wesker is where she’d fallen out the window as I mentioned earlier. This is explained in a flashback.

That’s interesting to me. Yes, from a storytelling perspective, it makes sense, but Chris remembers such vivid details, even Wesker’s eyes glowing.

But what’s interesting is, this event, in particular, seemed to affect Chris the most. Despite that his sister has been kidnapped by people affiliated with both Umbrella and Wesker, Jill’s “death” shook him up the most, which is fair. His best friend and partner throughout the entire thing, someone he shared his trauma with and even started the BSAA with was just gone. No even a body. Three months and nothing was found before she was declared dead. He dove into his work head-on, taking every mission he could!

This is why he takes deaths so personally. This is also shown in Resident Evil 6 when Piers, a young soldier who looked up to Chris and helped find him after he lost his memory after an incident with a fake Ada Wong, is infected with the zombie virus, he holds onto his humanity in order to save Chris, but ultimately does die in the underwater lab facility, supposedly by water pressure before losing his mind to the virus.

The former Alpha Team consisted of the following:

Chris Redfield

Albert Wesker

Barry Burton

Brad Vickers

Jill Valentine

Joseph Frost

All members of the original team that infiltrated the Spencer Mansion in RE1. Let’s go ahead and cross some people off.

Wesker? Dead as of Resident Evil 5. Good. Stay dead. You suck! You’re like the Capcom version of Ganondorf, just stay dead, dude!

Burton?  Alive, but hasn’t appeared in a main RE game since the first.

Vickers? Dead as of the third installment of the game. He was the pilot who sacrificed himself after being bitten during the attempted escape from Nemesis in Raccoon City before the place was blown sky-high. You actually see him later again in the third game attacking the cop you meet in the second Resident Evil, interestingly enough, but what’s sad really is that he still has some semblance of his humanity and ends up groaning out the cop’s name before attacking and infecting that man. Poor guy. Really was just a poor soul.

Moving on. Jill Valentine? Still alive and definitely kicking but she’s become more of an iconic character for the movies. So from a lore perspective, as of the end of 5, she is no longer in the main series that we’ve seen. Mostly just referenced. This might change however later on as I do believe there will be a ninth installment coming soon if not already in the works as of writing this.

Frost? Dead. He was actually the first to die as soon as they touched down at Spencer Mansion, by zombie-dogs, no less. He stood no chance.

That means, of the original team, Chris is the only one still active. This means that he is the most trained to handle situations from a tactical perspective, but not an emotional one.

I mean, we see him really weighing the whole situation in Resident Evil 8. He’s seen smoking a cigarette, clearly stressed out and tired of dealing with everything, despite creating an Anti-Umbrella team called Blue Umbrella. Yeah. Not that creative, my guy. But he’s tired of hearing and seeing people die which...is fair.

I’d say he does have PTSD and it is Survivor’s Guilt.

Yes, he and his team are ready to die, but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s losing people he’s had long nights with, sharing beer, shooting pool, busting bad scientists with, and he still loses them.

In the military, a soldier doesn’t fear his own death but the death of his comrades.

Survivor’s Guilt is really just a terrible thing. I’d say actually several characters in the Resident Evil franchise have this, including poor Mia Winters!

Chris might have it but uses it to his advantage. He uses the knowledge he’s gained from staying alive in an attempt to help others stay alive and ultimately bring down the Umbrella Coorporation.

Ultimately, Chris Redfield seems to be wanting to make up for the lives lost to this organization.

Research links:

Coping with survivor’s guilt: https://artherapyinternational.org/blog/traumatic-events-coping-with-survivors-guilt-afterwards/

What is PTSD?  https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/ptsd/what-is-ptsd

Chris Redfield Bio https://residentevil.fandom.com/wiki/Chris_Redfield#Biography

Symptoms of Survivor’s Guilty: https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/325578#symptoms